#Have moved living situations like three times since December!!! I never know what I could have forgotten!!!!

[asteriusart]

COMMISSION QUEUE

[☆⁠☆☆] Sarge (rendered portrait)

[☆⁠☆☆] Blast (stylized portrait)

[☆⁠☆☆] Kok (stylized portrait)

[☆⁠☆☆] Anon (rendered full)

[☆⁠☆☆] Talon (sketch page)

[☆⁠☆☆] Nim (sketch full)

[abrcmswrld]

Treacherous | Mike Schmidt x Reader

Summary: Reader and Mike have been best friends since childhood. After a fight, Reader is given a surprise visit.

Warnings: General Angst, General Fluff, a suggestive make out scene in the nude but nothing too crazy, mentions of feminine clothing in one part but overall gender neutral

Author's Note: IM EDITING THIS RN SO PLEASE JUST IGNORE THE MISTAKES AND LIKE DUMB STUFF This is my first fic for Mike so bear with me! I tried so hard to adhere to the movie timeline but if it seems shaky please just ignore it lmao. I'm also bad at pacing sorry. I’d love to make this a series cause I’m in love with a good friends to lovers trope.

Mike had always been a bit of a mess. All of the time that you've known him, this has never changed. You can recall times on the playground of boys calling him names for his sensitivities. How were they to know the gravity of his situation? How were you to know? But you always felt called to stand up for him either way.

So you'd hound them off. You'd grab his hand and pull him off the dirt and to a quiet corner of the playground. The two of you would sit on the wooden border, picking at the grass and watching the other kids play.

His sensitivities would quickly turn to a certain hardness that you'd never fully come to understand, even in your late twenties. He'd open up the tiniest bit in high school, after his mother had passed away. He was only 17 years old. You were still children.

You have memories of standing uncomfortably in the dress your mother had insisted you wear to the funeral. You didn't know how to approach him then. He sat alone in a chair on the far side of the funeral home, a blank expression on his face. You couldn't say a word as you took tiny footsteps towards him. And he didn't say a word either, just looked up with bloodshot eyes. You'd hugged him then, feeling his shoulders shakes against you.

Soon it was time for the two of you to start thinking about college and your lives outside of the scope of small town high school. Talks of plans to find something new and excited were quickly stomped out by the failures of his father. You can recall a 23 year old Mike begging for your company on late nights when his father's drinking had reached a climax.

And you'd gladly show up for him. Abby was only six by that time, and Mike was all she had. Mike spoke about his father with disdain to you. Never crying the way he had as child, but you could see a sad anger within the conversations. And really, you couldn't blame him.

You can remember a night on the roof of your childhood home. It wasn’t your first time sneaking Mike through the window of your bedroom. It was a cold December night, and you were home for the holidays.

“I don’t think my dad’s coming back.”

Your knees were pulled up and under your chin as you rest your head and listened to his worries. “What do you mean?”

He sighed. “I mean, he hasn’t been back for three days and I think this might finally be it.”

You furrowed your brows and met his gaze.

“I’ll move back here.”

In that moment he had begged you not to. You were so close to finishing your degree and he insisted that he could not be the reason you didn’t finish. So you heeded to his wishes. You finished your final semester.

In the 6 months that you were gone after that night, his dad had not returned. Mike had stepped up to be a guardian for his sister. Family court would later assure this in legal documentation.

You had hugged him tightly the first night you were home and assured him that you would be there, for the both of them.

━━━

You would prove that to him when his original babysitter had ghosted him.

“Probably got tired of not being paid.” He had said when you asked why.

You don’t ask for pay. You had a day job that kept you stable enough to live. And as Mike’s hours were night shift, there was really no problem with the arrangement.

It would go on for a few weeks. You hadn’t seen pay, but you didn’t mind. Mike would cook you breakfast when he got home. That was payment enough for you.

But you could notice he wasn’t doing well. Dark circles had formed under his eyes. He had confided in you about the actions of his Aunt Jane. He showed you the papers with bold letters proclaiming a request for a change of custody. His stress and worry made sense to you now.

He would have to prove he was fit, a big ask in a court setting, especially for someone like Mike. You had encouraged him the best you could.

But everything had come to a head on a night when Mike had intended to actually pay you.

He woke you from your light sleep on his couch, alerting you that he was home. He sat his tired body on the recliner.

“There’s a 20 dollar bill in my jacket pocket.”

His eyes are closed as he speaks. It seems the night has been a rough one for him. “You don’t have to, but thank you.” You find the jacket lying on the kitchen table. You feel slightly bad as you reach your hand in to find the bill, but your guilt falls into confusion as your fingers brush the tiny bottle inside.

You let your eyes travel over the orange bottle in your hands. You furrow your brows. You turn to face the recliner he sits in.

"Mike."

He turns his head to face you, tired eyes falling on yours. He sees the bottle in your hands and you can see a sense of uncertainty and dread fall across his features.

"What are these? Sleeping pills?"

He immediately tenses, as if he had been avoiding this topic with everyone. But he responds quietly, “Yes.”

You fall silent for a moment, unsure of what to say. Realistically, there was nothing wrong with sleeping pills. People use them all of the time to sleep. But Mike seems hesitant to cover the topic of these pills and why he uses them.

An additional concern comes up in the way he had stuffed them in his jacket pocket. Why was he taking them to work? You hate the way your thoughts sound like the micromanagement of a mother, but all you can see is the bright yellow of the custody papers and Abby’s sweet face in your mind.

“Have you been taking these at work?”

He’s silent. It’s enough of an answer for you. You sigh as you sit the bottle down on the kitchen counter. You’ve known he wasn’t well. The incident that had gotten him fired from his last job, the dark circles under his eyes, the hardness about him, it all worried you. But you had always chose to let him live. Let him make his mistakes.

“Mike, talk to me. What’s going on with you?”

He lets out a spiteful scoff as if the conversation is beneath his worries at the moment. He lets out a shaky sigh. “I feel connected to him there. I don’t know why, but I do.”

There’s no doubt in your mind who he is referring to. His baby brother. The one he couldn’t save. You let him continue.

“If I can put myself into the right state of mind, I can see it. I can watch it over and over. And if I try hard enough maybe I might see who took him.”

He voice drifts off to a quiet and weak tone, “That’s all that matters to me.”

You can tell he’s hurt by the way that his voice comes out strained and weak, and it hurts you too. It’s not as if you couldn’t understand the pain of the situation. He’d cried to you all those years back when it first occurred. What you can’t understand is how he could let it ruin his relationship with Abby. Abby who is alive and well. Abby who, even if discreet, sees Mike as the moon and stars.

“And what about that little girl who sits around and draws you all day long?”

It makes you feel like a bitch to even say such a thing to him, but if it gives him a shake maybe it’d be worth it. “What about her?”

He stands still as a statue, emotions shifting across his face as he processes the words you’ve shot at him. You’re sure they strike like a bullet. His mouth opens and closes again, so you speak again.

“I know how badly you want to bring him back, Mike. To bring him back and be able to pretend none of that ever happened.”

He furrows his brows and you can the see the hurt flood his expression.

“But you’re going to lose them both if you don’t get your shit together.”

You sigh. You hate the way you sound like a mother scolding a child. You take a shaky breath. “Do you think that this job is really good for you? I mean-“ He cuts you off with a scoff and a laugh.

His tense attitude has you uncomfortable and defensive. You hate the way your voice becomes strained as you speak. “I just think it’s taking a toll on you.”

“I need this job, otherwise I’m never gonna see her again.”

And of course you know that. He needs a job to look good for a court that’s supposed to be able to decide if he’s right to take care of his sister. But what good does a job do on paper if the court can clearly see the way his mental stability is shaky? He hesitates and meets your eyes with a tense look as he speaks,

“You’re here to babysit Abby, not me.”

You stand silently in front of him for a moment before grabbing your coat. You turn toward him. You can see the quirk of regret on his expression, but he doesn’t speak, doesn’t take it back.

“It’s gonna take more than a shitty job that drives you crazy to keep her. I think you should find somebody else to babysit Abby.”

There’s malice in your tone and you hate it. But you can’t make excuses for him. You ignore his voice as he says your name quietly. You just let the door close behind you a you walk to your car. You wait for the door to open again behind your back. It doesn’t.

He doesn’t text you either. In fact, you don’t hear from him for another week and you wonder if he’s already replaced you and plans on holding the grudge.

You assume he must have. He must have found another babysitter for Abby. It seemed he was saving money to actually pay whoever took that role.

You can’t stop yourself from becoming more and more sad as the week goes on. You find yourself worrying more and more about Mike. And Abby. There’s no doubt in your mind that Jane was still adamant on proving in court that Mike was an unfit guardian.

You don’t know why you feel as though your presence could somehow remedy that. You don’t know why you feel an ache so deep in your heart. Friendship breakups are common. But Mike was different.

You still don’t let yourself text him. You would give him the power to choose that route. To choose you and the friendship you had given him since you were both children. And by the end of the week you have to force yourself to sleep.

And by the end of the week you get what you had secretly hoped for.

━━━

The knock on your door is urgent. You're half asleep as you rise out of the comfort of your bed. Your feet press against the cold floor as you rush to see who it could be. As you glance through the peephole you're met with those familiar black curls.

You open the door swiftly, shivering at the cool breeze that flows in. He looks like hell. Abby stands at his side. You're stunned, "Oh my God." You open the door wider and usher the two of them in.

Abby seems to be physically uninjured, while Mike's face is bloodied and bruised. You whisper to Mike,

"What the hell happened?"

He looks to Abby before he answers. "Abby should get some rest while we talk." You nod immediately. "Of course. She can sleep in my bed while I patch you up."

You lead the young girl to the bed and ensure she's tucked in. She thanks you quietly before you leave the room. You grab some first aid supplies from the bathroom cabinet on your way back.

"Sit."

You point Mike in the direction of the couch. He winces as you wipe the open cuts with alcohol wipes. You raise an eyebrow, “ You look like hell, Mike.” He scoffs in response.

“So you gonna tell me who did this to you, or am I just gonna have to keep wondering?”

Mike hesitates. You stop your movements to look at him with concern. He shakes his head, “You’re gonna think I’m crazy.” You sigh,

“Mike, I know you. Just tell me.”

And so he does. He explains everything down to the little details he can remember. It sounds crazy, it absolutely does. But you can’t bring yourself to think he’s faking it.

“I know it sounds crazy, but I know what I saw. She knows what she saw.” He points in the direction of the room Abby was soundly sleeping in.

“I believe you.”

He closes his eyes and exhales a large breath. You continue to clean the cuts along his face and head. “I don’t think you’ll need stitches.” He nods. There’s still an awkward tension between the two of you. He’s upset with himself for letting you leave the way you had, and you’re ashamed of yourself for letting him push you away. You break the silence at the same time,

“You know-“

“I’m sorry-“

You can’t help but laugh a little, and he smiles weakly back at you.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry too.” You continue.

He shrugs. “You were just looking out for me. I understand that now.” It means a lot coming from Mike. He’s stubborn, not usually one to admit when he’s wrong. It makes the moment all the more sincere. You smile slightly, letting a hand brush his cheek where a bruise is blossoming under the skin.

“I wouldn’t have said what I did if I didn’t care about you.”

He nods slowly and leans his cheek into your caress. You can feel the warmth of his hand as he lets it fall to your hip. His voice falls to a whisper.

“I care about you too.”

You smile and swipe a thumb over his bottom lip, where the plush skin has split from impact and smeared blood across his pale chin. He groans as he leans up, it’s only then that you notice the large gash on his side.

He attempts to stand, hobbling on his injured leg. “Mike,” He turns toward your bedroom, ready to grab Abby and get out of your hair. When he turns his back, you can see the blood seeping through his shirt and the large tear across his back. You grab his hand,

“Mike.”

He faces you again, letting a quick glance fall to your now connected hands. “Let her sleep, she’s alright. Let me help you.”

He stands awkwardly in front of your bathroom counter. His muscles flex with each touch of your fingers around his wounds, his fingers gripping the counter until his knuckles are white.

“I think it’d be best if you took this off.”

You’re awkwardly fiddling with the hem of his long sleeve shirt. He meets your gaze in the mirror and you feel small. Your voice is nearly a whisper, “I- I just can’t see.”

You stare at the floor as he pulls the shirt over his head. The gash is messy, but not deep enough to require stitches. Regardless, it’s covered in a thick layer of blood and sweat. You usher him to turn, and you see that the cut on his side is not better.

He can see the way your eyebrows screw together. “Is it that bad?” His voice has a touch of dread hidden in its tone. “I mean,” You glance at him.

“I don’t think you’ll need stitches, but you need to clean them or they’re gonna get infected.”

He swallows and nods. You walk to the shower, turning the knobs and adjusting the water to an appropriate and comfortable temperature. You clear your throat, “Here. I’ll, uh, I’ll let you…do your thing.”

You turn on your heels to give him privacy. As soon as your fingers touch the metallic surface of the doorknob, his hand catches your free hand, pulling gently. You turn toward him, meeting his eye. He pulls you closer and carefully pulls you into an embrace. You’re worried you’ll catch his wounds with your hands so you let them hover above his skin, not actually touching. But you want to.

You can feel his breath on your neck where he’s buried his face. He speaks into the sensitive skin, “Thank you. I don’t thank you enough.” That’s the moment you finally let your hands rest on his skin.

“You don’t have to thank me, Mike. I do it because I care about you.” You gently brush your fingers across his upper back, avoiding his cut. “Besides, you’d do it for me.”

He pulls himself from your neck, and you drop your hands from his back gently, expecting him to pull out of the embrace. But he stays close to you and only pulls back enough to see your face. Your cheeks are so hot. You can feel it and you know he can probably see it. He keeps his hands at your sides, just above your hips in a way that feels respectful. You allow yourself to put your hands on his forearms, thumbs resting in the bend of his elbows.

“Your water is gonna get cold.”

It’s a whisper as it comes out. He simply nods but doesn’t drop his hands from your sides. You smile shyly at him.

“Come with me.”

Your face is instantly hot and you’re suddenly hyper aware of the steam that’s building in the room and around the two of you. With your eyes wide and your mouth opening but no words coming out, he looks at you with hesitation, like he can’t believe the words actually left his mouth.

You can see the fear building on his expression the longer the silence drags on. Thoughts are racing through your head. You’d be lying if you said you’d never thought of this. You loved him. There’d always been a flutter in your stomach and a heat in your cheeks that let you know that perhaps it could be more than a friendship. You want that. But is this really how it’s going to happen?

You imagine the two of you going from childhood friends to becoming well acquainted with each other’s bodies in the span of one stressful night after not speaking for nearly a week. But there are no alarm bells going off in your head. You can’t bring yourself to feel ashamed.

So you kiss him. With his arms still around you and the heat from his bare chest creating a sense of protection from everything. With the whirl of water hitting the tub filling your ears. With the image of Abby sleeping soundly in your bedroom in your mind.

When you pull away, he looks at you with a sense of longing you’ve not seen on him before. You don’t want to say a word, not right now. It’ll be complicated. You know it will be. And you’ll have to have that conversation eventually, but right now the only thing you want is the heat of the water and the silk of his skin against yours.

So you finally unwrap yourself from him to begin working the buttons on your shirt. You’ve turned your brain off momentarily. Your fingers are on autopilot as they remove each article of clothing. If you allowed yourself to think, you’d surely turn in on yourself from the shame.

But when you’re finally bare and displayed in front of him, he doesn’t speak. He only looks with a fondness in his eyes that goes beyond a lustful stare. He slowly works his pants off his injured figure, wincing in the process, and soon he’s just as bare as you.

You’re shaking and cursing yourself internally for doing so. God, why were you shaking? You know he notices as he reaches his hand out to touch your arm lightly, grounding you in reality, and speaks, “Are you okay?”

You nod. More than okay.

The water feels heavenly as it beats against the skin of your back. Mike hobbles into the shower after you. He’s hesitant as you usher him to switch with you. It’s gonna hurt, but it’s necessary.

Your fingers lightly brush the wound on his back. He'd already been wincing slightly from the sting of the water, but your touch has him tensing immediately. You grab a cloth and dampen it enough to be effective in cleaning the general blood and grime from the afflicted wound.

The moment your cloth cover hand touches the  wound, he cries out through closed teeth, "Fucking- fuck!" His hands are planted against the shower wall in front of him. He bites his lip, holding in the whimpers of pain, trying his hardest not to wake Abby.

"Shh. It's okay, Mikey."

You let a gentle hand fall to his non injured side, brushing his skin. You're trying to sooth his tense and pained form as much as possible.

Soon enough you have both gashes cleaned up and ready to be bandaged. Mike turns to face you in the shower. His face still has a slight touch of discomfort to it, but he smiles weakly at you.

“Thank you.”

You smile back and nod. You’ve hardly said a word outside of attempting to sooth his pain with sweet words. The cold is starting to seep in from the tiny crack in the shower curtain. You can feel tiny goosebumps beginning to form on your skin. He frowns slightly and breaks the silence again.

“Did I cross a line…with this?”

Your head is already shaking before you can even comprehend the question. Like your body knows the answer before your mind does. “No, Mike.” He hesitates in his response, standing still and quiet before stepping towards you.

He seems to be able to move around a little better. You’re not sure if it’s the water cleaning the previously irritated wounds or if it’s the adrenaline pumping through his body. Either way you’re thankful as his hands are grabbing at your face and pulling you into another kiss.

It’s sloppier than the previous kiss you had shared, and he’s pushed you back so far that your back is hitting the cold tile of the shower wall. A fog has taken over your mind as you reach around his shoulders, digging your fingers into the plush muscle of his back.

The feeling of his tongue swiping into your mouth has sent you entirely mad. You’re whining slightly at the feeling and your eyes are half lidded. You can’t even think of the fact that this is your childhood best friend kissing you. Making you shudder. You can’t find it in you to care, you want him.

“Mikey…”

It’s a whispered moan as you let your head fall back against the tile, exposing the delicate skin of your neck to his wandering mouth.

Despite his injured form, his hands are tight around you. You'd thought of this before, in the heat of the night alone in your high school bedroom, hormones taking over completely.

You'd imagined the strong grip of his hands and the contrast of his plush lips. The bite of white teeth and soothing warmth of the hot water.

It’s absolutely divine, you think. He is divine. You know you’ll have dark bruises on your neck from the way he bites. You can’t help but run a hand through the hair on the back of his head and tug slightly. The moan is elicits rumbles through your neck and you want more.

You’re absolutely drunk off of the feeling of his body being this close to yours, nearly intertwined. You don’t even think when your nails swipe the cut on his back. That is until he lets out a yelp in the crook of your neck and promptly jump back.

You’re wide eyed immediately, realizing what you’d just done.

“I’m- I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, Mike.”

You can still see the remnants of a wince on his face but he laughs. And you find yourself letting out a nervous laugh with him. “It’s okay. I’m okay.”

You laugh again, holding the palm of your head to your forehead.

“We should probably get out. It’s getting cold.”

You nod.

━━━

You manage to sneak past Abby’s sleeping figure long enough to grab old clothes from your room. You find yourself thanking the universe than Abby is a heavy sleeper.

You’re also thankful that you hadn’t given Mike back an old t-shirt that he had left in your home years ago. He smiles at you when you hand it to him. He puts it on and examines the familiar print on the front.

“You’ve been holding this one hostage, huh?”

You gently nudge his shoulder and let out a chuckle. “Shut up.”

You’ve layered blankets in the middle of your living room floor. You speak as you lay pillows down on the makeshift palette. “Abby is sleeping peacefully, I’m not letting you drive home tonight, and there’s no way I’m letting you sleep on my tiny couch.”

You point exaggeratedly at the “bed” you’ve created for the two of you. “Ta-da.” You let yourself fall back onto the layers of pillows and blankets. It’s surprisingly cushioned. You sigh. “Actually not that bad, Mikey.”

He watches you with a smile from his seat on your couch. “You’ve really out done yourself.” He slides off the couch and into the layers of blankets and pillows next to you. He turns to rest on his uninjured side, facing you. It’s dark in the room, but you’ve left one lamp on. You can see his features glow under the warm light. You brush a hand on his cheek lightly.

“I’m glad you didn’t die tonight, Mike.”

He snickers, but you’re serious. The thought of his face on the news, just another tragedy at Freddy’s, haunts you. “I’m serious.”

He simply stares at you. “You’re not gonna go back there, right?” He closes his eyes and shakes his head slowly.

“I don’t know how I’m gonna take care of her. I can’t keep a job.”

Your thumb brushes at his cheek, soothing his tension. “I’ll help you. When have I ever left you alone in this?” You shiver as you think of the only time you’d walked out on him after that heated argument. You push the thought away and close your eyes.

“Really love you, Mike. You’re my best friend.”

You open your eyes hesitantly and you can see the shine of moisture in his. “Love you too.”

You place a kiss on his lips. It’s chaste, but full of a deep warmth. It leaves you wondering what comes next.

You tuck yourself in close to him.

“Goodnight, Mike.”

[ali-annals]

Chaotic Coffee Zombies- One

Masterlist Chapter Two Chapter Three

Pairing: Timari

Rating: T

CW: Mentioned off-screen character death, Tim is slightly OOC

Taglist (open): @aquilavela @ghostdoodlen @jennifer-rose123 @questioning-blob-of-fog

A/N: Happy birthday to my first bae @aquilavela!! I hope you have a wonderful year<3

~~~~~

“Kaalki, voyage! Divide! Spots off!” Marinette stumbled through the portal into her room and froze.

Oops.

“Young lady, what do you think you’re doing?”

She squared her shoulders and faced her parents. “Surprise?”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” “I couldn’t because…magic. But since I’ve just taken Hawkmoth and Mayura’s Miraculous, I guess now I can? Maman, Papa, I’m Ladybug, hero of Paris.” And Grand Guardian, she added silently, crossing her fingers behind her back.

“That’s why you were- oh, sweetie, if we’d known…” Sabine’s arms wrapped around Marinette, Tom engulfing both of them from the side. “I’m so sorry, honey. But you said you have Hawkmoth’s Miraculous?”

“I’ve settled with him,” Mari said grimly. “I don’t need to be Ladybug anymore.”

“He’s…you didn’t…”

“No, no, he’s still alive. I did punch him several times before I fixed everything, though.”

“As you should’ve,” Sabine nodded proudly. “You know we would have understood if…” she trailed off again, the whole situation making her usually chatty mother at a loss for words. “I’m sorry.”

Tikki flew out from behind Marinette’s back. “It’s not your fault for not knowing, Mme. Cheng! The Miraculous magic does a good job of keeping its wielder’s identity hidden. You should be proud of the- your daughter! She is the best Ladybug I’ve ever worked with!”

Tom and Sabine stared at the kwami in shock.

“Maman, Papa, this is Tikki, my kwami. She’s the ladybug kwami of Order, Creation, and Good Luck.”

~~~

After supper, once some of the shock wore off, Tom and Sabine had a good long talk with Marinette about the past five years. Tears and laughter were freely expressed as they were finally able to be openly emotional.

Luckily, school had just ended three days ago, so Marinette didn’t have to get up early for school. Once Nadja Chamack and Ladybug reported that Hawkmoth and Mayura were finally defeated, most of Paris shut down for the week to vent. The weeks after would be soon enough for celebration.

Mari explained the whole situation with Lila, and how Chloe and Kagami were the only friends she had left.

Now that Hawkmoth was gone, she could freely leave Paris. She still loved the city, but it had taken too much from her, and she needed a change. Tom and Sabine agreed.

“We’ll move to America,” they decided. “Your uncle Jagged is from Gotham; he’ll know good universities for you to attend.”

~~~

Jagged was ecstatic to have Mari closer to his home, and eagerly loaded her up with links and places to check out. He offered to write her letters of recommendation for whatever she wanted, confident in her abilities to pursue her dreams in any field.

A realtor friend of his found a shop with living quarters above it, like their current house, in a good part of town and for a decent price. After some renovations, it would be a dream bakery.

She could attend Gotham Academy for her Grade 12 credits and graduate in December, thanks to the way her French requirements translated to American credits.

It didn’t take the Dupain-Chengs long to pack up, sell the bakery, and fly to Gotham, New Jersey. Not a word was said to her former classmates. Only Chloe knew where Mari was, and she’d never tell. After her apology and joining of Mari’s squad, she was mostly ignored by the others. Chloe and Kagami were saddened to see their best friend leave, but knew a new environment would be more conducive to her healing and growth.

At least they had video calls and texts to keep in contact.

~~~

While the renovations were being completed, the Dupain-Cheng family shacked up at Jagged and Penny’s Gotham mansion. It was nowhere near as large as some of Gotham’s Old Elite family’s mansions, such as Wayne Manor or Drake Manor, but it was definitely sufficient for the five of them (six, counting Fang).

Mari had a lot of fun working with Jagged and Penny on his new album, both on songs and styling. She was recording background vocals for Jagged on a bonus track when her parents stopped by the built-in studio.

“Mari, you sound amazing, sweetie! I can’t wait to hear the rest of your songs! We’re going to the bakery to check on the renovations, and then have a lunch date; we should be back around two. We can bake your birthday cake with you then, if you want?”

“Sure, that sounds great. Have fun!” Mari hugged her parents quickly. “Oh, did you get the lemons for the peel garnish?”

“Oh, no, we didn’t. We’ll pick them up on our way home. Love you!”

“I love you too!”

Months later, she was glad those were the last words they shared.

“Marinette, honey?” 

She glanced up at Penny’s approach, flipping through a catalogue for inspiration for Jagged’s new suit. Why was Penny crying?

“There was a bank robbery. Your parents were helping some kids hide when…I’m so sorry, sweetie.”

Marinette didn’t want to believe it, but some intuition in her gut told her that Penny was telling the truth. She collapsed into her arms, weeping.

~~~

The next morning, Mari emerged early from her room. Though she knew she didn’t have to, she explained anyway. “I’m wearing red, not black, because it was their favourite colour on me, especially after they found out I was Ladybug. Penny, do you think it’s possible for me to have died yesterday as well? And then can I become legally emancipated? I was researching last night…this morning, I guess, and I think I’ve got things figured out. I just want you to check them to make sure they’re sound and y-you approve.”

She would not break down, dammit. She had a life figured out and she needed to follow it now.

Jagged started to speak but Penny cut him off with a warning glare. She’s coping…she’s used to bottling up her feelings…she just needs some time.

Penny took the papers and flipped through them. “This looks legally sound; you’ve put time and effort into planning this. You’re a strong, smart, talented young woman; I don’t know why you shouldn’t be emancipated.

“You do know we’d love to adopt you though, right?” Penny asked carefully. “If you’re worried about being a burden, please don’t be.”

“Yes, I know. I appreciate it, but…not now. I can’t.”

“We understand.” Penny patted her shoulder comfortingly. 

Jagged snapped out of his shock. “You’re welcome to stay here as long as you want, Mari! Pen’s right, we’d love to have you as our daughter officially, but in our hearts it doesn’t matter. We’ll sign anything you want.”

“Thanks, Aunt Penny, Uncle Jagged. I do have a few more papers for you to sign.” A thick file, carefully organized and colour-coded, slid along the breakfast table. Penny figured that Mari hadn’t slept all night; not that she could blame her. “Name change, legal emancipation, property transfer…” she flipped through the tabs. “Most of these we can get filed pretty quickly. Jagged’s friends with a judge here so we can probably get some things moving a bit quicker, too.”

“Great. Thank you.” Mari poured a mug of coffee, gulped it down in four sips, and poured another before leaving the room. Penny shivered, but figured if there was ever a time for overlooking something, it was now.

~~~

Thomas Dupain, Sabine Cheng, and Marinette Dupain-Cheng died on July 8th. On July 9th, Mara Stone was born. 

She bought the partially-renovated bakery and had it finished as a studio/sewing shop, with the top level furnished as MDC’s headquarters.

Mara decided that since she had a new name, future, and school, she’d change everything. Chloe, Kagami, and Penny (and sometimes even Jagged) went on shopping trips, helping her furnish her new living and working quarters and replenish her much-picked-over closet.

For a girl’s date, Kagami and Chloe dragged Mara to a spa, where she was transformed.

Her waist-length blue-black hair was chopped down to a stylish bob, the white-tipped ends just brushing her chin. Her bangs had grown out over the past couple months and now simply added layers to frame her face.

Her closet was now more befitting of a fashion designer, departing from her white, pink, and grey, and containing reds, blacks, blues, and a multitude of colours.

Courtesy of Chloe, she could now walk in heels without tripping, which, when heels became a staple in her wardrobe, added several inches to Mara’s stature.

Jagged and Penny often spent weekends driving to the beach for Marinette to practice swimming and attempt to face her fears from Syren. She was soon swimming like a duck and gained a nice tan for the first time in a while, a light spray of freckles blossoming over her cheeks and shoulders.

For the entire summer, Mara stayed away from anything Ladybug-related, beyond feeding the kwami.

But once the school year was just around the corner, she pulled out the Miracle Box from the depths of her closet. 

She wanted to rotate the kwami, so they could each have turns being out of the box. If the Bats let her, she wanted to join them on their patrols sometimes. Maybe they would introduce her to Wonder Woman, who could introduce her to Hippolyta. 

How to get their attention was the question…

Ideas filled her head as she walked home, her arms full of fabric to work on Jagged’s upcoming tour outfits, as well as hers and Penny’s– plus the spiffing up she wanted to achieve for her Gotham Academy uniform.

“Gimme yer money, lady.” A gun was shoved in her face from the dark alley. 

“Sorry, I spent it all on fabric,” she replied cheerily, nodding at the bolts in her arms, preparing to kick the robber’s gun hand.

Robin swooped down, punching the man into incapacitation.

Plan D it is!

“Oh monsieur, merci beaucoup! Vous m'avez sauvé la vie!” Mara gushed, playing the part of helpless, frightened tourist to perfection. Hugging a shocked Robin and air-kissing his cheeks, she slipped a tracker on his utility belt, underneath a compartment, where she hoped it wouldn’t be immediately found. 

“Ma’am, you shouldn’t be out alone so late.”

“Oui, oui,” she nodded shakily. “I was shopping and ah– how to say– lost the time,” she laughed self-deprecatingly, shrugging her shoulders. “Merci beaucoup.”

With a wave, she headed back in the direction she came from, just in case he decided to follow her. Luckily, he seemed to be called somewhere and left after watching her turn the corner to the more populated Diamond District. 

Once she was sure there was no tail on her, she ducked through the streets and back lanes until she reached Miracle Designs, her shop. She didn’t want to be known as MDC here yet. After she graduated and had time to handle large orders, then she planned to announce her identity.

Mara stored her fabrics on their appropriate shelves, locked up, and portalled back to her room in Stone Manor. Why all the Gotham Elite’s houses were [surname] Manor, she wasn’t sure, but she thought they deserved more creativity if they were going to go to the trouble of naming their houses.

After supper, she helped wash the dishes, then told Jagged and Penny she was transforming and going out for a bit.

Pulling out the receiver for her tracker, she saw that its last signal originated from a house just down the road…Wayne Manor.

Ha! She was right! 

She’d suspected the Waynes were the Bats for a while now. They had excuses, alibis, even Bruce Wayne and Batman in the same place at the same time. The public were convinced there was no way the Bats were the Waynes, except for a handful of hard-core conspiracy theorists.

But as someone who had a secret identity and access to magic, she knew how easy it was to create excuses and body doubles. If the Bats were really as smart as they seemed to be, it would be a piece of cake for them to keep their two personas separate. Especially if they had access to alien tech via the Justice League and were filthy rich, with access to elite tech and disguises.

Martian Manhunter was a shapeshifter, was he not? It would be easy enough for him to impersonate either Bruce or Batman, especially since he worked with the Bats. Trixx had done an excellent job of illusioning Marinette and Ladybug talking to each other before- it wasn’t that hard.

“Kaalki, voyage!”

Mare portalled into the Batcave, internally fangirling just a tiny bit. It is real!!!

She stepped around the corner, hands up. “I wish to speak to Batman.”

“How did you get in here?” Gotham’s Dark Knight asked, hand on a Batarang.

“I made a portal. Have you heard about Paris?” “What about it?”

Mare explained the situation from the past five years, ending with her retirement as Ladybug. By then the entire Batclan had gathered and were listening in shock at what had transpired, things they had no idea about.

“We never heard a word about that.”

“So, which…Miraculous are you using, and what’s your vigilante name?”

“The horse. It creates portals. My name is Mare.” Mara had specifically chosen Mare as her name, since it sounded similar to her civilian name and she could brush off an accidental reply to the wrong name.

“Let’s spar and see how you do,” grunted the Bat. “I’m not putting someone in danger under my mantle.”

Violent coughing sounded from the cluster of Bats behind him, which he ignored.

“You pass,” nodded Batman approvingly. 

Yes! All her training paid off!

“You can join us when you wish, as long as you give us a heads up. Oracle will give you a comm so you can connect to our channels so no mishaps occur.”

“Was that you or your Miraculous?” asked Robin. 

“My Miraculous suits protect my body and give me power-ups and magical abilities, but I have to call upon them to use them. My fighting skills are all me, Bird Boy.”

Robin’s jaw dropped. “Bird Boy?!”

Mara wondered if maybe she shouldn’t possibly insult her new coworkers and boss’s son(?) before she’d even officially joined the team, but her worry was allayed a moment later.

“You even screech like one!” cackled Red Hood, pointing at Robin derisively. The Bats quickly descended into anarchy.

It made a little ache appear in Mara’s heart and she absently rubbed at her chest. She missed her old friends and team at times like these, even if they’d outgrown each other long ago. “Voyage.” In the chaos, she escaped to her room, where she cried into a pillow.

~~~

Miracle Designs was decorated in creams and neutrals, with pops of colour dotted around, creating a rainbow for Mara to live and work in. The kwami had had a hand in decorating and deciding what things would look like, and now everyone was happy with their new living situation.

Gotham Academy was a twelve-minute walk from MD; a nice stroll most days. Penny had completed the enrollment signings and picked up her uniforms the week previous; now the only thing that remained was actually attending the academy.

Occupied with creating the Stones’ tour outfits, revamping her own wardrobe and uniforms, and adapting to life on her own, Mara was far too busy to accommodate commissions at that time. MDC’s website asked for her clients’ patience while she settled in North America, much to one Tim Drake-Wayne’s sadness.

~~~

Mara woke bright and early, having had a good sleep for a change. Still, she needed her coffee. On her first week in Gotham, she discovered a lovely coffee shop that sold an amazing blend of energy– Goth Bean, it was called.

She threw on her uniform and headed down the street to Goth Bean. Luckily, it was on her way to the Academy. She requested her usual order, the barista growing ever more concerned that there were two coffee zombies in this city (or as she called them, combies).

Mara Stone strolled into school unnoticed and slid into an empty seat in her first class. Picking a boy to attempt to befriend–he looked like he needed her coffee more than her– she turned to the tired boy she sat beside. “Macaron? I have some gluten-free ones, if you prefer. I’m Mara Stone, by the way.”

She’d cried all the night before as she made the macarons, the first and last year she made them alone before her first day of school.

“Thanks. Tim Drake.” He took one, sniffing it cautiously. “These smell as good as Alfred’s!”

“Is that a compliment?” she asked teasingly, handing him her coffee.

He looked at it, then her, perplexed.

She shrugged. “I drank half, but you look like you need the remainder more. Don’t worry, it’s not poisoned or whatever. Neither are the cookies, by the way.”

“Thanks.” He still looked at her suspiciously, but chugged the coffee anyway. “And yes, that’s a compliment. Alfred makes the best cookies…I think you should have a bake off. I can judge.”

Marinette snickered, ducking her head when the teacher entered the classroom.

Maybe she could make some new friends after all.

She found herself in classes with Tim all day, except for one period. Compared to Europe’s curriculum, the classes were a breeze (though they would’ve been harder if she hadn’t studied English until she was fluent in it.)

She noticed Tim also whipped through the work, completing most of the homework in class; it turned into a friendly competition. Although, noting the glint in Tim’s eye, she second-guessed the friendly part of the competition.

Their teachers noticed, groaned inwardly, and wondered what they’d done to deserve having Tim Drake in their class, together with the new student, and apparently in academic rivalry.

However, the new girl did keep the Wayne kid from taking over the classes somewhat, so maybe this wasn’t all bad…

The first half of their classes were spent doing the work and quietly heckling each other, the second half mocking the curriculum and planning ways to better teach the school (their hypothetical students would hate them unless they were also certified geniuses).

The other students found Mara nice, especially when she distributed cookies; she was also found terrifying, especially since she got along too well with Tim Drake!

The third day of school found the two coffee addicts pairing up to work on a project. 

“I’d offer to go to my house, but my brothers are…extreme. Can we go to yours, or somewhere like a coffee shop, instead?”

“Sure, my place is fine. Leave now?”

“Sounds good.”

They walked to MD, Mari taking him in the back way so that her designs wouldn’t be seen or disturbed. “This is me!” she said brightly, changing from her kitten heels to her house slippers.

“Nice place,” agreed Tim, looking around. “Is that- do you have two Keurigs?”

“Yep, I need them a lot. Do you want some of my magical energy brew? You look a bit sleepy.”

“Sure; what’s in it?”

“Trade secret,” she winked. “Want to spead the work on the table over there while I make it?”

“Sure. What were you thinking for the format?”

“Wow, this is a magic energy boost! I love coffee,” sighed Tim.

“Thanks, I added a little extra just for you.” It’ll help keep you safer.

~~~

“Whatcha lookin’ at, Timmers?” Jason flopped over his chair, twisting unnaturally to see the screen.

“Move, Jason. You’re heavy. I’m looking up a classmate; she’s new and I need to confirm she isn’t a threat.”

“Boring.” Jason left to find Dick to bug.

[ Mara Stone

07/09/2006 (17)

AFAB

College Francois Dupont  Paris, France

GPA: 4.0

Class President (Raised $30,000 USD via various fundraisers and events)

Note: Parents recently deceased; legally emancipated ]

Hmm…interesting.

~~~

“Hey, Mara. You finished the project?” Tim slid into “his” seat beside her, sliding a to-go cup from Goth Bean across the desk.

“Yep, you?” She gulped the cup in twenty seconds, impressing and worrying Tim.

“Are you okay?”

“Of course! Why not? I was just up late working on some art.”

“Uh huh. Late being another definition of all night?”

“Like you’re one to talk,” she sniffed. “I do it all the time; I’m fine.”

“What type of art?” TIm ignored the truth Mara pointed out.

“An outfit for my uncle. I design clothes for him and my aunt sometimes.”

“Oh cool. So you’re into fashion?”

“Yep. I like to design and make clothes. My ex-friend was a model for his dad actually; it’s kind of funny. I guess birds of a feather flock together.”

Tim looked at her, then back at the board. “Who’s your favourite designer? Mine’s MDC– I dunno if you’ve heard of them– they’re still pretty niche, but they put so much attention to detail into their works. I’ve been trying to commission them forever but they haven’t been open in ages,” he moaned into the desk, missing Mara’s double take and choke on her coffee.

“I don’t have a favourite designer currently, but I do agree with you MDC has some nice work.”

“Nice work? I’m offended on behalf of MDC. They put so much work into all their designs!”

Mara sunk into her seat more and more as Tim defended her alter ego to her face.

Tim’s mental file on Mara gained several more notes.

[ Name: Mara Stone

Age: 17

Birthday: 07/09/2006

Birthplace: Paris, France

Notes: 

Caffeine addict (Insomniac)

Legally emancipated

Ex-friend is a model

Ex-friend’s family is into fashion

Has bad blood with exes

Is into fashion

Is indifferent to MDC! ]

~~~

[isahorcrux]

london is lonely pt. 9 (great with details)

AN: Thank you all for your patience.  I know this one took a while, and I’m not sure what the next couple of weeks will bring in terms of updates, but I’m glad I was table to take time each day this week during my lunch break to finish this section up. It is by far the most self indulgent chapter I have ever written.

read on ao3 | read from the beginning

“Question number two. What date did Zayn Malik announce he was leaving the boyband, One Direction?”

“Ooh, I know this!” Marlene yelled, banging her fist on the table, “Let’s see, I was…seventeen?  I remember I refused to go to school that day.  Mum was furious.”

“Marlene loves One Direction,” Dorcas explained to the table at large, “Used to be one of those girls that showed up outside Fountain Studios after every live show.”

“I was a Louis girl, obviously,” Marlene said, before planting a kiss on Dorcas’ nose, leaving behind a spot of red lipstick.

“Obviously.”

“Yes, yes, but when did Zayn leave?” Remus looked around the table expectantly, pencil poised above the piece of paper, “You have to prioritize the quiz.”

Remus took pub quizzes very seriously.  Since moving to his new flat, he’d tried twenty different pub quizzes in the surrounding area, before determining The Regent’s quiz was superior to them all.  A perfect blend of pop culture, history, and useless bits of information, which was exactly how Remus Lupin liked his quizzes.  Too much pop culture was never challenging enough for him and too much history was positively boring.  He liked a good themed quiz every now and again, particularly the Sounds Familiar Music quiz, which he’d now won on two separate occasions.

Remus was still trying to figure out his ideal team, however.  He’d gotten into a good groove during his teacher training, a perfect mix of pop culture fiends, history buffs, political science students, and chemistry whizzes, but now the team had scattered.  Plus, his induction period had been a lot more overwhelming than he could have ever anticipated.  Rewarding, certainly, but overwhelming.  The summer holidays had been a welcome reprieve.

“Fuck if I know, mate,” James said, running his hands through his hair, absently staring towards Lily, who seemed to be counting on her hands, before looking back at Remus.

“Question number three!”

Remus groaned, “See!  This is why you have to prioritize the question.  Otherwise we’ll get behind.”

“Chill, mate,” Caradoc said, taking a sip of his pint, “We can just ask the host to repeat the question at the end.  No big deal.”

Actually, yes, it was a big deal.  Not that Remus would ever say that out loud.  Remus loathed confrontation of any kind, especially confrontation with Caradoc.  Remus didn’t like Caradoc all that much, you see.  It wasn’t one particular moment that led to Remus disliking him, but several moments strung together, starting with their first ever meeting at St. Andrew’s the one time Caradoc had visited James and Sirius until now, with all the occasional forced bonding situations James had thrust them into.  Remus didn’t begrudge James, of course.  He was just trying to be a good friend.  And it wasn’t James’ fault that he and Sirius’ friend from secondary had grown up to be a capital P Prat.  Remus just wished James would cotton on the fact that Caradoc’s friendship just wasn’t worth it anymore.  But, again, Remus was not one to seek confrontation, so he would keep those thoughts to himself, thank you very much.

“Who is Taylor Swift’s song ‘Back to December’ rumoured to be about?”

“The werewolf, yeah?”

“I beg your pardon,” Remus worked to keep his ale from spilling out through his nose.

“The werewolf from Twilight, right?  What’s his name?” Dorcas turned to Lily, “Come on, you know.  You were obsessed with those films.”

“Taylor.”

“Yeah, what’s the bloke from Twilight’s name that dated Taylor Swift?”

“No, Dor…his name is Taylor.  Taylor Lautner.”

“Can you spell that,” Remus pushed the paper and pencil towards Lily.

Lily saluted Remus, before scribbling the answer down, “And it was March, 25, 2015, for the Zayn question, so I’ll add that in as well.”

Thank god for Lily.  Remus could almost forgive James for also inviting Caradoc, who’d proved to be absolutely no help, including the political questions, which was the only reason Remus had agreed to allow James to invite him.  He’d have to make a point to James to never invite Caradoc to pub quiz night ever again.  That sort of confrontation he could deal with; the pub quiz was sacred after all.  Which is why Sirius hadn’t put up a fuss when Remus had not so politely asked him not to attend this one after the singing incident of last week.

Although, as the night went on, Remus started to wonder if he even needed to say anything to James.  Something had happened, when Caradoc and James had gone to refresh their drinks, for they left jovially enough, but came back in utter silence and proceeded to sit on opposite ends of the booth.  He’d ask James about it later.  Or, more likely, James would tell Sirius, who would then call Remus and fill him in.

“And now moving onto our next round, Rom Coms and Runaway Brides!”

“What does that even mean?” Caradoc scoffed.

“They like to do witty titles for each round,” Remus explained, “Haven’t you noticed?”

“So what’s this one then?”

“Romantic comedies?”

“Ergh,” Caradoc said, taking a sip of his drink.

“Not a fan, Caradoc?” Lily asked.

“I mean, they’re just so predictable, aren’t they?”

“Not necessarily,” Lily countered.

“Oh yeah, remember back in… what year was that?  Can’t remember, but anyway, there was that one year that Friends with Benefits and what was that other one…No Labels?”

“No Strings Attached,” James said, “Same premise, but very different movies.  I prefer Friends with Benefits, personally.”

“You’d be a monster if you didn’t,” Lily said seriously, “No Strings Attached was shite.”

“Thank you!” James held his hand out to high five Lily, but seemed to clasp it awkwardly, almost as though his hand was giving her hand a hug.

Caradoc glowered, which Remus appreciated, so he decided not to tease James about his weird hand hug.

“James loves rom-coms,” Remus said, “Drags us to everyone that’s released.”

“Oi!” James said, “Don’t act like it’s such a chore.  Besides, less and less are getting released in theatres…what with all the streamers.”

“And yet, you still invite us over under the guise of boys night, and it turns out we’re watching Too All the Boys part seven, or whatever.”

“It was Too All the Boys: Forever and Always, Lara Jean,” Lily laughed, “Get it right, Remus!”

“Was really disappointed how that series all went down. The first one was so good,” Jame said, directing his focus back over to Lily.

“Yeah well, that’s what happens when you replace a female director with male ones isn’t.  Look at what happened with the Twilight movies.  Catherine Hardwicke makes a masterpiece that outperforms the studio’s expectations and boom, taken over by men.”

“To be fair though…” Marlene interjected, “I did quite like New Moon.”

“That’s just because you liked the soundtrack.”

“Question number one…”

“Alright,” Remus interrupted, “We need to focus.”

“Which classic rom-com is a retelling of Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew?”

“10 Things I Hate About You,” James and Lily both hissed at Remus, who’d regained control of the pencil and paper.

Scribbling furiously, Remus shot the pair of them a thumbs up.  Lily was definitely getting an invite back.

“Question number two: What karaoke song does Cameron Diaz sing - badly, mind you - in My Best Friend’s Wedding?”

“HA!” James pointed at Remus, “You’re welcome.”

Remus rolled his eyes, but jotted down the answer, “Like you wouldn’t know the answer if you hadn’t dragged me to that midnight screening.  You and Sirius watch that movie monthly.”

“Do you really?” Lily asked.

“Not monthly…but, it’s on rotation.”

“Interesting…got a thing for Cameron Diaz?”

“Julia Roberts, actually.”

“Huh…doesn’t seem your type.”

“I have a type?”

Remus snorted, as he went back to check the spelling on their previous answers.

“Err, yeah…”

“Hang on, is this what you meant last night? That you thought you could guess my type?”

“I mean…the girls you went after in secondary…well, they all fit the same mold didn’t they?”

“Was I going after girls?”

“I mean, ‘James Potter is the biggest flirt’ wasn’t written on a girl’s lavatory stall for nothing. And no, don’t let that go to your head.”

Remus looked up to see James smirking in Lily’s direction, ruffling his hair.

Oh.

Remus would feel a bit silly later on, for not seeing it earlier.  It was just so obvious.  Well, in Remus’ defense, it was both obvious and not obvious.  The Poppy Nichols of it all had sort of prevented Remus from seeing James as the sort of bloke who was actively looking to go out with a girl.  Plus the whole thing with that car park girl.  Remus wondered if Sirius knew.  Probably, otherwise the car park girl thing wouldn’t have been dropped so quickly.  Sirius never knew when to let go of a bit.  Then there was the Caradoc of it all.  Hadn’t he been the one to bring Lily over their table last night?  And since then, Caradoc had been laying it on pretty thick.  It took Remus all of about two seconds to figure out Caradoc’s intentions of the evening.  That was probably why the pair of them weren’t speaking now, come to think of it.

Fuck.

If Sirius were here, he’d have a plan, Remus thought.  He always had a plan, whether it be cheering James up when Poppy dumped him unceremoniously or when he threw that surprise party when Remus got word he received a full time post in the literature department.  There was even some merit to his Celine Dion plan at the pub quiz last week.  

Remus turned to look at Caradoc, who was seated at the end of the booth with Lily beside him.  He briefly wondered whether or not he could make spilling his drink on Caradoc an accident look like an accident.  Surely Trunk and Bun all over his neatly pressed shirt would send Caradoc home, right?  Would be better if it was cheesy chips though, Remus mused.  That stain would require immediate attention.

“Question number three, what are the names of all three of Sophie’s dads in Mamma Mia.”

Damn.  What was he doing?  Letting himself get distracted by his friend’s love life.

“Oh my god,” Dorcas squealed, “I actually know this one.  Pass me that paper, yeah, Rem?”

“Big Mamma Mia fans then?” Remus turned to Lily, after passing the pen and paper over to Dorcas.

“Huge.  For Marlene’s birthday the other month we actually went to that Mamma Mia party at the O2.”

“I’m sorry, did you just say Mamma Mia party?” Caradoc asked.

“Have you not seen this?” Lily gaped at him, “It’s all over my tik tok for you page.”

“Er, can’t say I have.  Sounds like a blast though.  Did you all dress up?”

“But of course,” Lily said before whipping her phone out and displaying a photo of Marlene, Dorcas, herself, and a couple of other girls Remus didn’t know were all dressed as various versions of Donna & The Dynamos.

“Dead sexy.”

Yuck.  Did girls really like being told that sort of stuff?  Remus couldn’t tell if Lily’s smile was forced or she genuinely enjoyed the compliment.  Dorcas and Marlene seemed to think the best approach was to start spitting paper wads through their water straws at him.

“Oi,” James, who had been quiet for most of the exchange, yelled, “We’ve got to focus.”

Remus was grateful for his interjection, but something told him he was less concerned about hearing question four, and more concerned with Caradoc’s advances towards Lily.  God, why couldn’t Remus be Sirius?  His plans were absolute shite and James was frowning more and more by the second.

Texts between Remus Lupin and Sirius Black

Remus: Where are you right now?

Sirius: At home

Sirius: Abandoned by all my friends

Sirius: Left to fend for myself

Sirius: with only beer and crisps

Sirius: I’m practically withering away

Remus: Stop being a drama queen

Remus: What’s your take on James’ friend Lily?

Sirius: Why?

Sirius: You into her, or something?

Remus: Obviously not

Remus: Besides the fact that James clearly is

Remus: It’s embarrassing watching him try to flirt with her

Sirius: WAIT SHE’S THERE??

Sirius: HOW IS SHE THERE??

Remus: James invited her

Sirius: WHEN DID HE GET HER NUMBER??

Sirius: I thought no one got her number last night???

Sirius: Fuck…

Remus: ???

Sirius: Okay, don’t say anything to James

Sirius: Though if he’s got her number he probably already knows…

Sirius: Unless he managed to ask her to the pub without her phone number???

Remus: Sirius what are you on about?

Sirius: So you know how I left that note for the girl in the car park with James’ number 

Remus: Yes

Sirius: And he let her down gently because he didn’t want to date

Remus: Yes

Sirius: Well good news bad news

Sirius: Lily is car park girl

Remus: !!!!

Remus: Shit

Sirius: Like great news because clearly I know my best mate’s taste in women and even though he denies it he’s clearly into her and he’s finally ready to get back out there

Sirius: But bad news if Lily finds out he was car park boy she’s not going to give him a chance

Sirius: Right ???

Remus: I mean it doesn’t seem like either of them know ?

Remus: And they’ve been flirty

Remus: Well James has anyway

Remus: Can’t read Lily

Sirius: Fuck

Sirius: They know

Sirius: They totally know

Remus: I don’t think they know

Remus: Like I think it would have come up???

Sirius: Why would something like this come up at the pub quiz ??

Remus: I don’t know !  All I’m saying is they’re not acting as though they had an awkward exchange due to your note on Lily’s car

Remus: Also, is it really the worst thing if James found out?

Remus: Lily I get, she won’t want to go on a date with a guy who turned her down just the other day, but…

Sirius: No, you know James

Sirius: He’d get in his head about it, and never actually ask her out

Sirius: fuck, I wish we knew whether or not our plan is foiled

Remus: OUR plan?

Sirius: Wait, I have an idea

Sirius: I can break into James’ laptop

Remus: ???

Sirius: And look at his texts…

“Remus, no phones, remember?” Marlene whispered next to him.

Remus, who up until that point had thought he was doing a pretty good job hiding his phone under the table, slid his phone back into his pocket.  He’d check when they went on break.  Almost immediately however, his phone began to buzz indicating a rapid succession of texts.  Remus hadn’t decided whether it was a good or bad thing that he’d texted Sirius.  On the one hand, he was glad he was clued in on the Lily/James/car park girl backstory now.  But, on the other hand, Remus was pretty sure that if he didn’t respond to Sirius in sixty seconds, he’d run pell-mell down the road and burst into the pub in a dramatic fashion.  Making sure Marlene was distractedly writing down an answer to Question 4, regarding the movie He’s Just Not That Into You, Remus pulled his phone back out.

Texts between Remus Lupin and Sirius Black

Sirius: Okay, so I’m in

Sirius: Scrolling, scrolling

Sirius: texts with Caradoc

Sirius: texts with football team

Sirius: nothing nothing nothing

Sirius: THERE ARE NO TEXTS BETWEEN THEM

Sirius: besides the car park texts obviously

Sirius: HOW THE FUCK DID HE ASK HER TO THE PUB???

Remus: Are we absolutely sure Lily is car park girl?

Sirius: What?

Sirius: Of course she is

Sirius: I remember her vividly

Sirius: I’m great with details

Remus: And there are no texts with any other unknown numbers that might also be Lily being invited to the pub?

Sirius: NOTHING !

Sirius: Fucker…

Sirius: do you think he slid into her DMs??

Sirius: I didn’t think Prongs was that smooth

Sirius: Good for him

Sirius: But this is good!

Sirius: They still have a chance!

Remus: Well not if Caradoc has anything to say about it?

Sirius: ???

Sirius: ??????

Sirius: wtf does Caradoc have to do with anything????

Remus: Well he’s the one who brought lily over last night in the first place.

Sirius: so?

Remus: he’s been flirting with her nonstop tonight

Sirius: WAIT

Sirius: CARADOC IS THERE

Sirius: WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME???

Remus: You didn’t ask??

Sirius: fuck

Sirius: this is bad

Sirius: fuck

Sirius: we’ve got to do something

Remus: Such as…?

Sirius: don’t worry, I’ll handle it

Remus: THAT VERY SENTENCE MAKES ME EXTREMELY WORRIED.

Sirius: See you soon!

Remus: Wait, you’re not coming here are you?

Remus: Sirius?

Fuck.

[violettelueur]

GOJO SATORU || CIVILIAN S/O

| featuring : gojo satoru from jujutsu kaisen

| warnings : grammar errors but other than that n/a

| form : headcanons

| published : 20 december

| request : omg imagine that the gojo has a sweet gentle caring wife who radiates maternal vibes, she is an ordinary civilian, but knows about curses and his students, and is very worried about them, and when yuji appears, she takes care of the bb orphan boy, and he starts call her "mom"🥺🥺 i live for this scenario

| barista’s notes : hi there! while i was typing this out, i was listening to Howl’s Moving Castle - Merry Go Round of Life and i really want to watch the movie again ʕ≧ᴥ≦ʔ it was basically my childhood and i want this song at my wedding - PERIODT ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ but moving on from that, i hope you enjoy your cup of classic black coffee (jujutsu kaisen request!) and come again soon ʕ •ᴥ•ʔゝ☆

From the beginning, you and Gojo first met each other when you were both in your second year of education. With him being a second year at Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College and you being in a normal well known Tokyo high school.

You both probably met in the most chaotic way possible by him saving you from a curse while he was in the middle of one his mission that he was assigned to.

Of course, he was somewhat annoyed at the fact that you had slowed down his progress but made sure not to express it too much before leaving to go on about his day, leaving you both starstruck as his beauty - because the man was popular with his handsome looks you know... - as well as confused about what was going on.

You both thought after that you will never see each other again, until you just kept bumping into each other at the most random locations like in the middle of the street, in a bakery, at the front of your school and his - since that was the way you needed to go to head home.

After the constant random encounters, you and Gojo decided to start to talk to each since it was becoming awkward that you knew each other but really didn’t at all - the stiff ‘hi’ and ‘hey’ just working out, were they?

After a few random day outs here and there, there was no denying that you and Gojo were becoming closer than ever - sometimes sneaking out of his dorm room late at night, just to chat to you for a bit in person before sneaking back in as best as he could.

“You need to go back to your dorm Satoru,”

“But I want to stay with you honey~ don’t make me leave”

Ah....I forgot to mention that it was quite difficult for you to make him go back to his dorm since the fool wouldn’t want to go at all..

Over time - probably near the end of second-year - you both realised that you had feelings towards each other and began to start a relationship with one another - much to his clans’ dismay, but Gojo really didn’t care.

Of course, he does tell you about curses and jujutsu sorcerers before fully committing into a relationship with you since he wanted to give you a chance to end this whole interaction between the both of you for your safety - BUT YOU WERE TOO STUBBORN

As time went on, you both had gotten married and you had fully educated yourself (with Gojo’s ‘guidance’) on the Jujutsu world and how everything worked - basically having the full knowledge like a sorcerer would have, you just had no curse energy.

And when Gojo became a teacher at his school, you saw the students like they were your kids and took care of them when needed - to which they highly appreciated since some came from difficult households/clans like the Zenin clan.

Fushiguro was a great example of how you portray your maternal instincts since you were basically his mother the second Gojo had introduced him and his sister to you - you would take the siblings to school, make food for them, help them with their education, basically everything.

Sometimes Fushiguro would call you ‘mom’ and this would prompt Gojo to try to tell him to call him ‘dad, only to get an annoyed look.

When Itadori came into the picture, it was basically the Fushiguro situation all over again but with just a teenager that was more energetic then the shikigami user was.

You immediately took him into your care the millisecond Gojo had informed you that his only guardian - his grandfather - had passed away and he came to Tokyo by himself - leading you to completely worry for the boy, even though he seemed genuinely fine.

Since then, you made sure he was taken care of from making sure he was eating, making sure he was prepared for the next day to even take care of some of his injuries when Ieiri wasn’t available.

In just a short amount of time, Itadori started to call you mom - Fushiguro took a little longer - and that made you really happy since you knew that meant he really trusted you with his health and happiness.

“Mom, what do you think we should get steak or sushi?”

“Mom, how long have you known Gojo-sensei for as well as Fushiguro?”

“Mom, don’t worry, I’m safe!” - when he says that to you, that makes your day a whole lot better since you knew some of these missions were dangerous and you always worried about them every time they were off somewhere.

And ever since Kugisaki joined the team, you basically had three new children within the first-years, with the others being in the years above - little note, you love patting and rubbing their heads before saying ‘good work’ or ‘welcome home’

Overall, every single student with Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College sees you as their mother that they want to protect due to you being a normal civilian and Gojo is really thankful for them - even though he still a little salty that they don’t call him ‘dad’ when they all call you ‘mom’

[1kook]

skirt chasers — drabble iv

THIS IS A SKIRT CHASERS DRABBLE - FIND THE OTHERS HERE ! SUMMARY Jungkook was a man. A skirt chaser. He could only withstand so much torture before he broke, and seeing your gorgeous, smooth legs on display after so many weeks of starvation awoke an ancient being inside of him. WARNINGS JK POV!!!, attempted solo masturbation, k*ssing, jk’s extensive knowledge of pornos, grinding, cunnilingus, face sitting, spit kink, light choking, praise kink, self nipple play, a love for boobies, unprotected sex, use of the pull out method, i love u kink, its kinda hinted tht oc has a somnophilia kink? not rlly but tagging just in case -_- RATING m (18+) WC 6.3k this can't even classified as a drabble anymore wtf 

NOTES i have had this in my drafts since may 3. it is december 21. everyone point n laugh. anyway i very much love stimbo sc jk and i think he’s very cool so here’s a whopping 6k of the inner mechanisms of his big nerdy, college hottie brain <3

He doesn’t notice you’ve drifted off until he’s three solid paragraphs into his semester-long research paper. “Babe, can you toss me my charger it’s over…” 

 Jungkook swears he’s gonna take every single one of those stupid skirts and burn them to ashes. They had done their duty well, had given him the girlfriend of his dreams, but now they were just pushing their luck. What was once the epitome of a cute and sweet girlfriend, has now become the bane of Jungkook’s existence. He loathed them, he hated them, he could go twenty million decades without ever seeing them again because the torture they inflicted upon him was borderline inhumane. 

 Holy fuck, he knew you were gorgeous— hello, he was your boyfriend, thinking you were gorgeous was very high on the list of requirements you searched for in someone of his position —but he’s absolutely positive that you’re probably the sexiest woman he’s ever seen in all his twenty-two years. And Jungkook’s seen a lot of porn. Like, a lot. 

He can’t help himself. Before Jungkook knows it, he’s rolling his desk chair over to where you’re sprawled across his bed, skin so soft where it presses against his pillow, lips so plush, and he’s pretty sure there’s a tiny, tiny droplet of drool begging to escape from between your puckered lips. Normally, he’d tease you to hell and back for this, knows how flustered you become when he catches you off guard, but today he lets it slide in favor of focusing on something else about your dozing form. 

It’s the soft curve of your hips from where you lay on your side, smooth legs tucked close to you, and that goddamn pleated skirt giving you absolutely no protection from the eyes of the world around you. Luckily, he made sure to lock the door to his room when you came over today. And he’s almost positive Taehyung isn’t home anyway. So there’s no potential roommate to see you here, cuddled against Jungkook’s teddy bear, blue lace panties tucked between your folds. 

They were his favorite. 

Adorable and soft, and he knows that particular style— the cheeky kind —is your preferred style, because it’s the one he sees almost every time the two of you fuck. Seamless, because you hate when they tug against your skin, and baby blue simply because it was your favorite color. He can’t recall the last time they had been so exposed like this. 

God, how many times had this same situation occurred? You dropping by to encourage him to do his homework, before eventually falling asleep and leaving him to his own devices. A lot of times, Jungkook guesses, because each and every time you wake up and nab one of his protein bars from the stash by his bed. Jungkook’s gone through four boxes in the last month. 

But how many times had this happened with you in a skirt? Never. This was a rarity. 

As the year progressed and yours and Jungkook’s relationship reached new levels of intimacy and adoration, Jungkook is sad to say the skirts had begun appearing less and less. It was winter and, unlike the furnace that was Jungkook’s body, he’s pretty sure you were a cold-blooded reptilian at this point, always leeching off of him for warmth. So since you couldn’t stand the cold, the skirts slowly faded into the background, replaced by Jungkook’s second favorite: the leggings. 

He was no complainer, Jungkook respected your decisions! He wasn’t going to pressure you into wearing those cute tiny skirts he loved so much just because it fueled some PornHub-esque fantasy in his brain, especially not as a harsh winter descended upon you and the days became colder. He would not risk a sick girlfriend in the name of a horndog daydream. 

But holy mother of pearl, Jungkook was a man. A skirt chaser. He could only withstand so much torture before he broke, and seeing your gorgeous, smooth legs on display after so many weeks of starvation awoke an ancient being inside of him. 

Sure he’d seen them every time you guys fucked— duh. But this was not the same. It was different, seeing the tender skin of your inner thigh when he knew you weren’t trying to, your skirt stuck between you and the bed as you shifted about. It was different, knowing he could so easily have you, just flip up the skirt and tug your underwear to the side, not having to worry about fighting your leggings or skinny jeans down your legs. It was different and it was good, so painstakingly good, to have you in the skirt, but the worst part was Jungkook couldn’t even do anything because you were fucking sleeping. 

He’d subconsciously pictured you like this for weeks, sprawled out on his sheets in the flimsiest clothing and ready for him to just slide right in, but Jungkook was a good boy—you’d told him as much just last week when he’d paid the bus fare for that ragtag group of teenagers, smiling up at him like he was your entire world. Was he sometimes a little too mean, a little too wild? Yes. But at his core, Jungkook lived for your praise. He couldn’t just stomp on that title you’d so lovingly bestowed upon him, a title he’d worked hard for since! 

Furthermore, even if Jungkook wasn’t a good boy, to touch you in your sleep just seemed wrong. You’d mentioned in passing once that you wouldn’t mind as long as it was him (“I’m yours,” you had purred at some party, hand crawling down his abdomen, “your doll, remember?”), but Jungkook couldn’t bring himself to when you were so vulnerable and just… not there. It wouldn’t feel right to use your body when you weren’t awake, and no amount of encouragement from you would change his mind. 

So he does what all good boys do and prepares himself for a quick, self-administered handfuck. 

Sue him, his girlfriend was hot!

It’d been a little over two weeks since the last time the two of you had fucked, and it was mostly his fault; clinicals and research papers had practically consumed what little free time he had in his schedule. And if Jungkook remembers correctly, he wouldn’t be that lucky this upcoming week either. Something tells him your period was approaching. 

Jungkook doesn’t know what type of sorcery you’ve done to him, but in the time you’ve been dating, it’s become increasingly more and more difficult to nut without you. Whether that be fucking you, listening to your voice, or just imagining your pretty face in his head, you held a monopoly over Jungkook’s libido, one that he feared you’d never let go. 

He had years stacked on years of browsing PornHub and Brazzers, can recall experiencing some of the craziest orgasms of his life while watching some girl get fucked. All things come to an end. Ever since he started dating you, not even his favorite video could make him hard anymore. Oh, how the great have fallen. 

But with your blue panties before him, his cock hardens by the minute, nearly doubles in size when you move about and sigh a heavenly sound. Frankly, he doesn’t feel bad jerking one off to the thought of you. You were his girlfriend! He knows that you know that you’re the main character of all his right-handed adventures, and you’re not going to be mad at him for jerking off to you now. In fact, Jungkook imagines you’d be mad if he’d woken you up just for some frenzied quickie. This way, he’s blowing off some steam and you’re getting an extra ten minutes of napping. Everyone wins. 

He’s barely tugged himself out of the confines of his sweats when a soft mumble of his name has his soul leaving his body. “Kook?” 

“Baby,” he exhales, immediately tucking himself back into his underwear before moving closer towards you. You roll onto your back, skirt useless as fuck, he thinks, as it sprawls around your waist. “What’s up?” he murmurs, voice gentle, a hand carding through the nape of your neck because that’s how you always wake him up. Jungkook would be a liar to say it wasn’t one of the best feelings in the world. 

You say something, but it’s a mess of gibberish and too quiet for him to understand, before turning on your side again and shuffling closer to him. Jungkook smiles, runs the tips of his fingers over your cheek, before moving to caress your back, massaging some feeling back into your muscles. Some more mumbled words, but this time he deciphers them as something along the lines of “c’mere.” 

He chuckles, ducking down to kiss your cheek. “Don’t wanna interrupt your nap, baby,” he hums. “Go back to sleep.” 

You whine in protest, suddenly catching his hand in yours. “Please,” you sigh, eyes fluttering open, but they’re unfocused as you gaze at him. Jungkook clenches his teeth. Technically he should be working on that twelve page research paper, and even just trying to jerk off right now would have been a huge setback. Crawling into bed with you, where you’re so sinfully laid out for him to take, would completely offset his plans until tomorrow. He had to be a responsible student here. 

“I really gotta finish my paper…” he says, trying to let you down as gently as possible, flashing you an apologetic gaze. He thinks he has it in the bag, and your extended silence almost has him rolling back to his desk, when you suddenly snap into action. 

“But what about your dick,” you murmur, and Jungkook chokes. 

“My what—?” he splutters, voice a little too high. 

You say nothing, craning your neck to release a series of cracks, soft huffs leaving your lips. Jungkook’s on edge the whole time, eyes following the movement of your neck, the hypnotizing expanse of skin that bares itself to him. “Saw your hand down your pants,” you say, eyes blinking open, and though they’re droopy with sleep, at least you can hold them open this time. 

Jungkook laughs nervously, rubbing a hand against the back of his neck in embarrassment. “You saw that?” A soft hum. He wants to die. “Ah, baby, don’t worry about it. Know you’re tired, so just nap,” he sighs, caressing the back of your head once again, and he thinks he’s finally convinced you so he lets his guard down. 

You moan softly, and he’s almost entirely sure it’s one of those waking up types of sounds, the ones you make when you’re stretching around the bed in the morning. “Want your cock.” 

Jungkook swears he’ll die, right here, right now. 

He groans, lowers his head to rest on the mattress. “Jesus, fuck, baby,” he huffs, has to count to ten to will the stirring of his slowly hardening cock away for the second time that day. “Don’t say stuff like that when you’re half asleep, please.”

You ignore him, the hand that had been wrapped around his wrist tugging him closer. You barely succeed, muscles still so weak, but Jungkook humors you and rolls his chair right beside your head, where he ducks down to press a kiss to the corner of your mouth. “Noooo,” you whine when he draws away too quickly. 

A laugh blossoms in his chest, and Jungkook proceeds to rain down a series of kisses on your pretty face before he can stop himself. You melt under his touch, his affection, and Jungkook adores the way your body is so soft and pliant like this, back arching towards him after he places a hand on your waist. 

“Come here,” you urge, voice a quiet plea. So soft, so needy. 

Jungkook malfunctions for just a second before he’s clambering over you on the bed, manhandling your body until you're both on your sides, facing each other, with you pressed tightly to his chest. Even with your hands brushing up and down his back in the way that sends every nerve in Jungkook’s body tingling, and your leg thrown over his hip, some stupid part of him convinces himself you’re just cold, trying to warm up after walking around campus in that tiny little skirt all day. He cuddles you as best as he can. 

And even with his dick twitching in his pants and his caveman instincts yelling at him to thrust up into your inviting core, Jungkook remains as professional as someone in a relationship can be when in bed with their lover. He’s so stuck on his self-control that he almost doesn’t hear the snort you muffle against his neck. 

“What are you doing?” you laugh, reaching up to pinch his cheek. Jungkook blinks, eyes wide like a doe caught in headlights. “Are we gonna fuck or what?”

He chokes. He doesn’t even try to muffle his reaction like other times, because the way you’re looking at him and the heel you press against the back of his thigh preoccupies his thoughts instead. Your hands are still tracing along his back, melting him with your dainty touches. “Baby?” you question after he’s been silent too long, distracted by the way you use that hooked leg to tug your bodies closer. 

“You… you’re still asleep,” Jungkook says, though it’s definitely a question. 

You scoff, a smile curling around your features. “Mm, definitely not asleep,” you tease, and shift to push him onto his back, wiggling on top of him until those baby blue panties are pressed against his quickly hardening member. “Why? Wanted to touch me when I was asleep?” you continue, and Jungkook’s eyes nearly burst out of their sockets. 

“No!” he exclaims, hands clutching your hips in alarm. He can tell he surprises you, because your eyes go wide for a brief second. “Never…” he mumbles afterwards, looking away from your imploring gaze. “Only like you when you’re awake.” 

You sigh, pressing a sweet kiss to his cheek that makes his heart flood with adoration for you. “You’re a good boy, Jungkook,” you say back, just as quietly. “A blueprint for the perfect man.” Another kiss, this time against the corner of his mouth that makes Jungkook’s hands twitch against your sides. 

A soft moan tears itself from his throat, fingers digging into your hips as you slowly roll them against him. The heat emanating from your core seeps past the thin barrier of his sweatpants, makes his cock twitch in his boxers. He knows how it feels inside of you, has your body memorized like the back of his hand. But it’s in moments like these that he finds himself aching for you, desperate to feel the fluttering walls of your pussy, the pitiful whimpers that fall from your kiss swollen lips. And, well. The skirt makes it all too easy.  

He places two hands on the backs of your thighs, runs them up until he’s pushing your skirt up over your waist. You pull away from his lips with a sneaky little smile, pointer finger stroking down the side of his face lazily. “Mm?” you tease, leaving a coy little peck against his mouth. “Now you wanna touch?” Jungkook rolls his eyes, snaps his teeth at your wandering finger when you draw it too close to his mouth. The giggle you let out is so damn precious, makes him want to put you in a glass case and never let anyone else touch you. Coincidentally, it also makes him want to rail you into the mattress until you cry. 

“I’ll fucking ruin you, doll,” he settles on murmuring, subtly pushing you down against him. A soft giggle. Jungkook knows it’s your favorite nickname, even if you won’t admit it. He's the only one allowed to call you it, something about his intentions being pure or whatever, he’s not really sure. Anyway, you’re still so cute and soft on top of him, blinking slowly and prettily, so he’s dragging it out a bit, hoping you’ll become more alert in a few more minutes. 

As sleepy as you may be, you never miss out on a chance to rile him up. “As if, doll,” you retort, his nickname for you rolling off your tongue seamlessly. It sounds heavenly, sparks this weird emotion in him that he never considered before. Him, a doll? No way. But there’s something about the sweet lilt of your voice, the starry-eyed gaze you level him with, that has him throwing all reservations aside. Put him on a shelf and call him Barbie, because he would be anything you wanted him to be. 

Anyway, Jungkook’s sappy thoughts last all of two seconds before he’s rolling you over, successfully trapping you beneath his body. “Oh, so scary,” you feign, hands fluttering to clutch at your chest. 

He glides his hands down your body, let’s them trail over your hip and down the side of your thigh. “Don’t get sassy with me,” he warns, thumb peeking beneath the hem of your skirt. Jungkook really wants to burn the piece of fabric this time, because after all that time it spent torturing him with its halfhearted attempts at covering you, it chooses now to do it properly. 

Hands are thrown around his shoulders, the overwhelming scent of your perfume and body wash tickling his nose when you pull him in for another kiss. “Or what?” you purr, irises swirling with lust. “Gonna use your manly man strength to hold me down?” 

He shushes you with a kiss, slow and languid just how you like. Your taste is familiar, feels like coming home, so Jungkook can’t be blamed for getting too carried away. It starts gentle— it always does. But then a tiny mewl gets stuck in your throat, the following moan swallowed by his tongue, and Jungkook nearly loses it. He nips at your bottom lip, waits patiently for you to open up for him, and when you do he wastes no time diving in. Your tongue against his is slick and wet, makes the most lewd sound. Your little sharp intakes of air fill the gaps, shuddery breaths that Jungkook takes as a good sign. 

He strikes while the iron is still hot. 

It’s amidst your lazy kissing that he secures his hands around your waist, two reassuring squeezes thrown your way before he’s abruptly rolling onto his back again. “Kook!” you squeal, clutching at the front of his shirt. A pouty frown paints your face, sleepy eyes narrowing him with a rather unimpressed look, tainted with the barest hints of confusion. 

Jungkook grins, reaching back to yank his pillow out from beneath his head. “On my face,” he commands suddenly, and you snort. 

“What?” you ask a little incredulously, leaning back to level him with an even more lost expression. “Since when do we do that?”

Jungkook shrugs. “Since I decided twenty seconds ago,” he answers rather bluntly. You still don’t look too convinced. It’s not a position the two of you have ever tried. You’re a little on the sappy side, always like to look at his face while you fuck, hold his cheeks in your palms, kiss him sweetly. On the one hand, Jungkook totally gets it; he’ll proudly admit that the sight of your orgasming face paired with your fantastic tits have done him many favors these past few months. 

However, Jungkook is a lover of head. Giving or receiving, it’s very high on his list of sexual acts and whoever invented oral deserved all the praise in the world. Not only did you look drop dead gorgeous with his cock in your mouth— tears trailing down your cheeks, drool clinging to the corners of your lips —but you also looked absolutely sexy receiving it. 

Kinda. 

Probably. 

Okay, so maybe Jungkook can’t really say, considering he always has a hard time catching a glimpse of your face when he’s down there licking and slurping your clit like a madman. Which is what leads him to this exact moment, an experiment weeks in the making. Jungkook has a theory that needs to be tested. “Please ride the fuck out of my face,” he tries, hoping the polite tone will win you over. 

He’s met with an eye roll. Still, you’re kinder than you let on. “Okay,” you give in, and Jungkook will remember your heroism for the rest of his life. “But only because being on top is empowering.” He just barely contains an over-enthusiastic fist pump into the air, settling on a rather modest smile that has you leaning down to kiss him again. You reach for the zipper on the side of your skirt. “Just let me—“

“The skirt stays on,” he says quickly, hand on your wrist to stop you from removing his most favorite article of clothing. 

“Baby,” you say, giving him a rather serious look. “It’ll cover your face.”

“It won’t,” he urges, reaching for the buttons on your blouse instead. Jungkook has had one too many encounters with tops like these, and has long since learned not to tear them apart like a crazed psycho. As much as he loves the sound of your buttons scattering across his bedroom floor, he can’t say he’s too fond of the scolding he inevitably gets afterwards. Anyway, the shirt comes off and so does your bra, leaving your tits in his face, tiny skirt on your hips. “Get up here,” he murmurs, ushering you up his body until your knees are pressing into the mattress right above his shoulders. 

If it was up to Jungkook, he would have just grabbed your hips and shoved his face against your pussy. Luckily, it’s not, and your common sense shines through just in time. “One sec,” you say, and then finally, finally, the blue panties come off. 

And then it’s just Jungkook and your glistening pussy. 

“Holy fuck,” he groans, taking the opportunity to wrap his arms around your thighs. You squeak when he pulls you closer, hand instinctively reaching for the front of your skirt to hold away from his face. The view from here is heavenly, just your swollen clit, gorgeous tits, and shy face. 

The muscles in your thighs are a little stiff. Or maybe you’re just nervous. Jungkook isn’t sure, all he knows is that it takes one encouraging tug for you to finally sit on his face. He doesn’t even register the surprised gasp that leaves your throat because he’s too busy tasting your pussy from an all new position. And it’s absolutely amazing. 

Something about the position, having you carefully poised above him, does something to Jungkook. He likes to think he knows your body inside and out, knows what makes you melt and what makes you scream. He knows just how to lap at your cunt until you’re cumming, and how many fingers it takes for you to really feel it. But it’s like having you in this position changes all of that, rearranges all the tidbits of information Jungkook has spent months collecting. 

(Jungkook is a meticulous man; he’s got a near perfect GPA right now that was the direct result of his carefully crafted note-taking techniques. Whether or not he abused the power of his perfectionist learning abilities to master the mechanisms of his girlfriend’s libido was no one's business but his own.) 

One kitten lick against your swollen pearl makes you buck forward, clit brushing against his nose. Jungkook can’t remember you ever doing that on the first lick. “O- oh my—,” you cry, all airy and whiny. Your hand is pressed to the wall behind his bed, the other bunching the front of your skirt just above your mound. He’s rather happy to learn that, just as he’d hypothesized, this position does give him a better view of you. 

He’s graced with the sight of your face, twisted up in pleasure. It’s the stereotypical eyes squeezed shut, lip caught between your teeth look. But there’s something different about it knowing that he’s gotten this reaction out of you with his mouth alone. 

Jungkook quickly repositions you over him, tugging you back until his tongue is lined up with the front of your slit. You’re so warm down here, make him feel like he’s drowning with your heady scent alone. Tentatively, he lets his tongue dip between your folds, the very tip nudging your swollen clit. A moan tears itself from your throat, the hand that had been flush against the wall suddenly jumping forward to bury itself in his hair. “Oh- oh, fuck,” you shiver, hips jolting forward once more. 

You taste good on his tongue, the arousal that coats your lips is sticky and sweet. When he laps his tongue along your folds, quivering hole to stiffened bud, you let out a sob that resonates deeply within Jungkook. And also Jungkook’s cock, which stirs beneath his trousers in excitement. What was once the focus of his mission, a quick handfuck to sedate himself before finishing his research paper, has long since been forgotten. It’s for the greater good, he tells himself, blinking up at you from between your thighs. 

Eye contact lasts for exactly three seconds before you’re looking away bashfully, the fist clutching at your skirt trembling against your tummy. You’re so fucking pretty, Jungkook’s heart can’t take it. 

And so he sets out on a mission to make you cum as soon as possible, abandoning his slow kitten licks in favor of suctioning his lips around your clit. “Kook,” you wail, tugging at his hair. Whether you do it purposely or not, Jungkook is a little shocked by how good the pain feels. It’s not an emotion he can ponder long, because then you’re using that same grip in his hair to tilt his head backwards, jerkily moving over him. 

It’s rough and sudden, the buck against his face, but Jungkook loves it. The drag of your pussy against his lips, the wet glide of your juices smearing across his chin and Cupid’s bow. It all feels so good, and the fact Jungkook is getting a front row seat to the absolutely torn look on your face is just the cherry on top. 

Jungkook has seen you make a lot of faces. He’s seen you shiver and drool as he nails you into your bed. He’s seen you sniffle and sob as he slowly fucks you in a rose petal filled bubble bath (a six month anniversary special planned by yours truly). He’s even seen your mirrored reflection fall apart as you bounced away on his lap in front of a mirror. 

He’s never seen you like this before. 

Needy and desperate, moaning his name softly, practically humping his face in your greed. Tiny skirt clutched against your waist, tits bouncing as you hurriedly grind against him. He has half the mind to burn this scene into his eyelids for the rest of his life. 

He’s given up on doing anything with his tongue, simply sticking it out for you to do as you wish. Normally, he’s not a huge fan of letting you do things yourself. After all, Jungkook was your boyfriend. Making you cum was his job. But you’re moving so fast, so frantic, in your mission to cum. So Jungkook sits back and lets you go to town on his mouth as a series of moans spill from your lips. 

And then something unforgivable happens. 

Jungkook will admit it: he’s staring at you almost a little too dreamily, heart eyes and all. He thinks you’re fucking hot, taste like heaven and have these absolutely delicious boobs bouncing up and down. He’s a little distracted by your glorious figure that he doesn’t notice one crucial bit of information. 

Your hand. 

The desperate need to cum has your muscles weakening, thighs moving at a latent pace, and, much to Jungkook’s horror, hands trembling. It’s your own pleasure that lets the unimaginable happen: your skirt flutters down. Your grip on it loosens and before Jungkook knows it, the sight of your pretty face and nice tits are gone, snatched away before his very eyes. Even your wet cunt is impossible to see, his world suddenly shrouded in darkness. 

Leave it to Jungkook to foil his own horny plan with, well, his horniness. If only he wasn’t so hopelessly in love with the image of you in skirts. Maybe then he could bask in the beauty that was you riding his face. 

He acts fast, reaching for the material before he can miss out on anything. But the angle is weird, and without Jungkook’s hands holding your hips, you’re left weakly rolling forward instead. And he’s not the only one frustrated with this turn of events, your face quickly returning to its normal composed form as you level him with a frown. “Everything okay?” you pant. 

Everything was not okay, but Jungkook isn’t sure how to tell you that without ruining this delicate moment. So he tries to show you with actions instead, releasing the skirt he’s got in his fist and letting it flutter over his face again. You giggle. “I told you so.” 

It takes more willpower than he’d like to admit to pull away from your wet folds, pulling off with a lewd sound that has you biting your lip as you gaze down at him. “I told you so,” he mimics, a little mean but you don’t take it to heart. “Hold your skirt up.” 

You hum, the grip on his hair loosening as you push away his dark locks instead. “Mmmm,” you hum. “No.”

“No?” he repeats, actually really scandalized. Okay, so he’s a little spoiled when it comes to you— it’s not his fault! You made him like this, conditioned him to think that you would always give into his every whim because you were just so sweet and considerate and wanted him to be happy. And Jungkook also wants you to be happy, and in his opinion, being happy right now means having him fuck your pretty brains out for ever getting sassy with him. 

“I don’t listen to men,” you tease, followed by a cute little nod, skin still a little warm from your looming orgasm. Jungkook takes advantage of your tiny moment of weakness, and strikes like a viper.

A girlish squeal leaves your lips, hands stretching outwards as he knocks you backwards onto the mattress. “Jungkook,” you gasp, sprawled out artfully, beautifully, over his sheets now. He doesn’t waste a second longer, crawling over your body until you’re a shivering mess beneath him. 

Hand against your throat, the other blindly reaching for the front of his sweatpants. “What is it, doll?” he drawls meanly, reveling in the way your eyes roll back when his newly-freed cock lands against your slit. A choked gasp leaves your throat, lashes fluttering wildly until Jungkook loosens his grip. 

You’ve done a nice job riling yourself up, lips squelching wet and loose when he runs the tip of his cock along them. Your knees are pulled up for him, spread perfectly for him to fit between. You’re so good for him, Jungkook feels a little bad for how hard he’s going to fuck you now. 

The sympathy doesn’t last long.  

Once upon a time, you had been the epitome of a cute and sweet girlfriend. Had picked him up from class, encouraged him to do his homework, wore these cute little skirts around campus. Deep down inside, Jungkook knew everyone else was jealous of him— you were just so pretty and cute, a girl straight out of everyone’s dreams. 

Until he sunk his horny claws into you. Jungkook will be the first to admit he spends a little too much time browsing porn sites— he’s a man, cut him some slack —which had never caused him any problems before. Even when the two of you were just friends (pining ones at that), you had never seemed even remotely affected by his extensive pornographical knowledge. It was a known fact among your friend group that Jungkook’s best friend was his right hand. 

But then, of course, you started dating Jungkook and it was like a save file of all his horniest fantasies was downloaded directly into your brain. Which leads him to this. 

“Spit in my mouth,” you shiver, got these huge, watery eyes pointed his way. His cock twitches. 

There’s a little groan that tears itself from his throat when he leans forward, cock sliding along your folds, to grasp your chin between his fingers. “Open,” he commands, and you do. Your lower lip quivers, tongue pressed against it as you wait for Jungkook to spit down your mouth. He can’t say he regrets letting you peek through his porn stash, not when it leads to this, you whimpering at the hot glob of saliva he shoots down your throat. “Filthy,” he pants, memorizing the movement of your throat when you swallow like the good girl you are. 

Before he can write another twelve sonnets about that dazed look on your face, he’s roughly grabbing at your thigh. You whine, limbs so pliant beneath his touch, letting him hike your knee over his forearm as he tugs you closer. “Fuck,” he groans, reaching down to align himself with your quivering hole. You’re still so wet, make the most lewd sound when he sinks into you. Not that Jungkook really hears it, the sound of your strained moans practically drowning everything else out. 

“Fuck,” you cry, one hand clutching at his forearm, the other toying with your breast. It’s a magnificent sight, and Jungkook is suddenly feeling a little cocky when he realizes he’s the only one who gets to see this. It’s this presumptuous nature that fuels the first round of thrusts into your cunt, fast and full. He makes sure you feel every inch of him, tip to base, as he pistons his hips forward. “J— Jungkook,” you pant, back arching beneath him. 

You take it so well, walls sucking him in every time he draws back out. “I’ve got you, doll,” he moans, hiking your leg further over his shoulder. Every roll of his hips has your tits bouncing back and forth, lower lip as well with the dopey, open-mouthed look you got on for him. And the damned skirt that got him here, fucking you with a punishing pace, sits perfectly around your waist. He has half the mind to take it off for you, briefly wonders if it hurts, but just looking at it reminds him of about thirty-seven pornos he’s seen. So it stays on, works alongside your lovestruck face to actively rewrite all those pornos anew with you starring in them instead. 

It sure helps when you start your usual mindless babbling. “I love you,” you gasp, face screwed up in pleasure. “I- I love you so much.” 

He’s contemplating doing a study on you and your weird mid-fuck confessions. You do this a lot, and while Jungkook doesn’t mind, it sure does leave him curious. “Love you too, baby,” he says anyway, repositioning his arms so he can hold your waist with both hands. 

“Really?” you ask, voice so whiny, eyes brimming with tears. From emotion or your need to cum, Jungkooks not sure. (Hence the need for a study!) 

Another brutal thrust that has you moaning loudly. “Really,” he reassures you, glancing down to watch his cock sink into your hole as he picks up the pace. Your arms are practically limbless, and his stomach is beginning to feel tight. The end was soon. “Love your pretty little face.”

Another whine, your fingers pulling at your pebbled nipples. “M- My pretty face?” you whimper, blink these long lashes up at him. They make Jungkook go a little mad, bring on a wave of jackhammer thrusts that cut your moans into choppy little cries instead. 

“Prettiest girl I know,” he groans, not once stopping the movement of his hips. You’re quivering like a leaf beneath him, your entire body locking up as Jungkook guides you toward orgasm. “A fucking doll, baby— so beautiful for me,” he praises. 

It’s exactly what you want to hear— secretly, Jungkook hypothesizes that you’re a little bit of an attention whore —crying out when he slows to a grind against you. Each roll of his hips has him rubbing over your swollen bud, leaves you trembling until you’re eventually unraveling beneath him. “Oh- Oh, fuck— Jungkook—“ you sob, writhing beneath him as you cream his cock. 

Your tits look amazing, nipples stiff from your arousal and all the attention you’d been giving them. Your features soften, gasps framed by your pillowy lips. As Jungkook has said before, your pretty face was the most dangerous weapon. 

He manages a few more pistons of his hips, mostly for reputation sake, before he’s eventually pulling out. His right hand, once the sole hero of his solo sessions, makes a valiant return now as he jacks himself off over you. It takes a few harsh pulls of his cock until he’s spurting his jizz over you, painting your tummy and your tits in white ribbons of cum. You flinch, a tiny whimper leaving your throat at the mess he makes. “Fuck,” he groans one last time. 

When it’s over, you have the audacity to shyly pull down the front of your skirt. As if your tits aren’t out and about, but Jungkook pretends he doesn’t see it. Instead, he channels his energy into peppering your face in kisses. “Best girl,” he praises, even though he knows you hate the nickname. “My beautiful feminist queen.” 

A pinch against his cheek. It hurts like hell, but he endures it for now, still very much in love with your performance today. “Get me a towel,” you huffily ask, uncomfortable with the jizz sticking to your tummy, as if he didn’t spit in your mouth a few minutes ago. 

His research paper is waiting for him at his desk, the materials he’d spent weeks collecting waiting to be typed up. But his girlfriend is so soft and sleepy, asking him to stay for another nap. 

There was never a choice.

Copyright © 2020, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[nctsworld]

the yuletide boyfriend

✩‌ yangyang ‌x‌ ‌reader‌ ‌|‌ fluff | angst | smut | friends to lovers | ‌college au | 9k

SUMMARY‌ ‌⇾‌ your one wish this year is to not be single during the holidays. yangyang, as your best friend, takes it upon himself to be your temporary boyfriend. soon enough, both parties begin to wish this new arrangement could last beyond the holidays. // part of the x-mas in ncity collection WARNINGS‌ ‌⇾‌ implied ‌anxiety attack (during the first part of dec 24th – skip if need to), smut, mutual m*sturbation, couch s*x, angst, miscommunication, swearing RATING‌ ‌⇾‌ mature TAGLIST ⇾ @infnteen​ 

AUTHOR’S NOTE ⇾ this is my longest fic to date and also... might be my worst b/c i feel like the angst plot points don’t really make sense... but i hope y’all still enjoy!!! 

⇾ gif created by me, please don’t share or repost without credit!

NOVEMBER 30th

“So, anything special on your wishlist this year?”

Your best friend, Yangyang, asks you as you two sit next to each other on one of the many plush lounge couches in the Psychology building. It’s the usual lunch spot where you meet with him during your break between lectures.

The Psych building held much sentimental value for both of you because you met in Psych 101 during first year. Fast-forward three years later, neither of you expected to be the close friends that you are today.  

Chewing your sandwich, you ponder on his question for a bit. Through the transparent glass walls leading to outside, you see the trickle of students heading towards the building since class is about to start for the noon round of lectures. A couple, you assume by the tight hand-holding and nose kissing, giggles as they enter the building, glued to one another by the hip.

“Not really.” You drop your head downward to your lunch container, smiling to yourself. “I’m honestly just happy to have Mark in my life, especially at this point in the year.”

Yangyang nods in accordance and smiles too, understanding the story behind your sentiment.

The boyfriends you’ve had since first year have always broken up with you before the holidays, right before the end of November. Since you only became close during second year, Yangyang’s been around for two out of three of your cursed holiday break-ups.

To have Mark, your latest boyfriend, be with you and it being already December tomorrow, it was truly a blessing for you and a silver lining that maybe this was the year to break the curse. Yangyang was grateful too, wanting you to have the utmost happiness.    

You take another bite of your sandwich and tilt your chin toward the ramen eater.

“You?”

Yangyang slurps a few more noodles before he answers.

“I mean, the new Playstation would be nice,” he hums, mouth full.

Pointing the tip of your sandwich, you joke, “I’ll get it for you, but only if we share custody over it.”

“Mm-mm,” he shakes his head during a mid-slurp. “You know I can’t promise that.”

Both of you laugh in unison, living in the calm before the oncoming storm.

DECEMBER 5th

The E-Sports club for the university is hosting a party tonight and because Yangyang’s on one of the professional teams, he asked a few weeks ago if you and Mark wanted to attend. Of course you accepted; Mark also had some friends in the club.

However, when you text Yangyang in the afternoon, stating a change of mind, he knows something’s off.

Half an hour before the party starts, Yangyang decides to visit you. Thankfully you both lived on campus, but even if you lived across town, he’d still bus out to see how you were doing. He does it all the time to visit his family, anyway.  

In the living room, the two sudden knocks at your door startle you. Peering through the peephole, you see the usual sight of your best friend, his lips curled upward and thumbs tucked in his pockets as he rocks on the balls of his feet.

It feels like an eternity for him when you unlock your door. The hinges squeal as you open it hesitatingly, your face barely appearing through the agape crack.

Immediately, his smile dissolves. Your face is drained and blood-shot eyes avoiding his own confront him.

Yangyang has only seen you cry twice in the three years he’s known you:

Once, when you were freaking the fuck out over potentially failing a course (but, on the upside, you ended up passing the final to save your grade).

The second time was at his house for a family dinner, when his mom accidentally added too much hot chili sauce to her homemade beef noodle soup (let’s just say you weren’t the only one crying that night).

Those were tears of dread and physical discomfort.

But this… this was crying he’s never seen from you before. His chest collapses inward, fearful of the reason behind your tears.  

His voice shakes as he asks, “What happened? Are you okay?”

Neither of you are major huggers and only exchange them on the rare occasion.

However, this situation screams the necessity of it, so Yangyang lunges towards you, the collision swinging the door out of the way. His arms embrace you like a large, warm blanket. Comforting and safe.  

Despite the affection, emptiness has taken over your body. Tonight, you’re a dead, empty shell of who you normally are.

You feel weak to the bone, but you muster up enough energy to scarcely raise your arms over his back to return the hug. Your eyes are dry from all the crying you’ve done all day, but apparently you have more tears left in you to spare.

Your eyelids snap shut and your jaw clenches.  

“Mark broke up with me.”

Your words are muffled into his shoulder, but Yangyang hears it crystal clear.  

You break down, sobbing out of control over the statement.

As aforementioned, Yangyang’s been around for your last two, now three, break-ups. Sure, he’s aware of how grumpy and distant you can get, but you never cried in front of him. You made an effort to never have him see you at your lowest point.

And yet, here you are, drowning him in your misery. Guilt washes over you for drenching his bomber jacket, but Yangyang couldn’t give two shits. His arms squeeze tighter while he rubs your back tenderly.

After several minutes pass and your waterworks abate, you peel away from him. You sniffle and rub your nose with the back of your hand.

“Sorry about cancelling last minute.”

“Hey, no need to apologize,” he whispers soothingly.

“I’m just… so fucking frustrated.”

With fatigued eyes, you drag yourself back inside your apartment. Yangyang discreetly closes the door behind him and hurriedly uses his feet to push off his shoes. As he does so, your mouth begins to run off while you slowly pace around aimlessly.  

“Fucking done with boyfriends, especially when they think it’s so fucking awesome to keep breaking up with me right before the holidays.”

He kicks off his last stubborn shoe and catches you raking your hands through your hair, pulling it back firmly. Your lips are trembling, along with your entire frame.  

“Like I get that I’m horrible and needy and emotional—”

His mouth opens, wanting to cut in to disagree with you with all his heart, but he clamps it back shut and swallows, allowing you to blow your steam off.

“—but can’t they wait until the fucking new year? I don’t know, or maybe just don’t date me in the first place! I don’t know, I don’t fucking know anymore. I’m just cursed, Yangyang...”

You flop down onto the couch and sink into the ocean of shiny pleather, shutting your eyes and trying to stop crying for the nth time. The deep sting behind your eyelids pain you, but it pains Yangyang more to watch the events unfolding ahead of him.  

Unsure of what to say, Yangyang walks around the room. His gaze falls on your laptop screen and he frowns at the mostly bare Word document that stares back at him:  

“WISHLIST:   -KEEP ONE (1) FUCKING BOYFRIEND DURING THE CHRISTMAS SEASON!!!!!!!! GOD FUCKING SDKMFLDS”

There are a few more lines below it with more profanities and keyboard smashing. He quickly darts away, a pang of guilt striking for invading your privacy.

Then, he turns to you on the couch again. You’re now covering your eyes with your forearm, pressing your lips together. His chest twists and his throat is arid as a desert.

You’re in shambles and he’s dying to pick up the shattered pieces of you, wants to glue you back together. On a regular basis, Yangyang’s a talking machine and can talk your ear off for hours, but right now, he doesn’t know what to say to you in your current state. He second-guesses himself, wonders if he’s even that great of a friend if he can’t comfort you in your worst times.

Blowing out a long sigh and removing your arm, you speak aloud, “You should get going to the party.”

Like awakening from a deep slumber, you rise up sluggishly and sit up on the couch, slouched over. The other figure in the room steps closer to you.  

“Sorry about your jacket, by the way,” you say. Your body is still, but your glazed eyes move to the dark spot on the middle of his shoulder. He glances at it and shrugs.  

“It’s better like this anyway,” he says with a gentle smile, and the tight knot in his heart softens at the flicker of your own smile, albeit a small one. Unfortunately, it fades in a few seconds. “I don’t want to leave you like this, though.”

You stare at the used, crumpled balls of tissues scattered on the living room table. Some also ended up on the floor. Break-ups are shit and 98% inevitable, but you know you’ll eventually get over it. You always do.

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

He raises an eyebrow, as if asking, “Are you sure?” The lack of a worded reply causes you to notice the question written on his face.  

“Go,” you plead with a feeble laugh. “Have fun for me.”

Both of you head towards your front door again. Crossing your arms, you lean your head against the door frame and attempt a smile for your best friend.

“Thanks again for checking up on me.”

Yangyang nods with a half-smile, half-pout, “Of course.”

You give him a departing wave prior to sealing your door.

Usually, Yangyang would bus from your place to the student union building, where the party is being held. Instead, he zippers up his jacket and stuffs his fists into his pockets, opting to bear the early winter chill to walk his thoughts off. His blazing self-doubt burns at first, but he overcomes it by focusing on ideas to fix your accursed dating rut instead.  

Halfway through the walk, a light bulb moment occurs. A plan begins to brew on the surface of his mind and he thinks on it for the rest of the week.  

DECEMBER 11th

It’s been almost a week since you last saw Yangyang.

Finals started already, so classes were done for the semester and thus, your lunch meet-ups halted too. On top of that, since you were simultaneously moping and studying, you hadn’t really texted him much, nor had he, besides the occasional check-up text on how studying was going and random memes. Yangyang knew you preferred time alone to heal and he respected that.  

He also thought six days was enough time to get yourself back on your feet.  

Yangyang’s at your front door once again, but this time with two bowls of his mom’s beef noodle soup in tow.  

“Long time, no see,” you greet. Your tone is chipper, but your eyes look heavy, which could be partially from studying, Yangyang thinks. His smile deepens, content that you seem a lot better than the last time he visited.

“Delivery for two,” he raises the bag in his hand.

“And if I told you I already ate dinner?” you playfully retort.

The boyish man shrugs defeatedly, “Then I’ll tell my mom you hate her cooking—”

“You didn’t say it was your mom’s, Yangyang. Oh, my God,” you gasp, half-mockingly. You rush to grab the bags out of his hand and stroll towards your tiny kitchen. “Start off with that next time.”

As you remove the containers from the bag and onto the granite countertop, Yangyang shuts the door and takes his shoes off.  

“So, I’m gonna be upfront and say that I may have come here with a proposal.”

“Changed your mind about the shared custody of the Playstation?”

“I’m still considering that one.” Finally in his socks, he slings his backpack off his shoulder and plops it onto the couch along with his jacket. He stands next to you by the counter. “But it’s on the same page as that. Remember that day we were talking about wishlists?”

“Mm-hmm,” you hum as you rip off the lid of one of the bowls. Blatant wisps fly upward and you inhale the savoury aroma, followed by a heavenly sigh.  

“Last time I was here… I might’ve seen what you wrote on your laptop.”

Your expression immediately changes into full-on cringe. You bring a palm over to your face.

“Oh, God. Let’s not talk about that. That was just weepy, lonely me talking.”

Yangyang pops off the lid for his bowl and steps into your kitchen, rummaging through your drawers for chopsticks. “So you’re telling me you don’t want a boyfriend for Christmas?”

Your hand flies off your face. Eyes widening, you spew, “Do you have a boyfriend in your pocket, ready for me to have?”

In your open hand, he places a pair of chopsticks into it. “Well, actually, I was thinking—”

Sternly, you point the chopsticks at him. “Don’t you dare set me up with your friends.”

He counters and points his at you, “Even better than that.”

With your interest piqued, you slide yourself onto the counter stool and mix the noodles around, anticipating to hear Yangyang’s fantastic plan. Your friend sits on the other stool, facing you. He pauses for a second, taking a deep breath.  

“Why don’t I be your boyfriend for the holidays?”

You freeze, and the noodles’ drips above your bowl are deafening to both individuals. Laughing awkwardly, you break your frozen state to drop your chopsticks and turn your head to look at him.

Sputtering, you say, “What?”

Unnerved, his mouth pinches to one side, thinking maybe he shouldn’t have even said anything in the first place. This was stupid, so stupid, but it’s out in the open and Yangyang already dug his grave—he may as well lay in it.  

“Well, for one, it’s something on your wishlist that I can easily get,” he pauses mid-sentence, glancing upward in thought. “Well, really, fill? Is that a better way to put it?”

He continues, eyes back on you, “And two, I’m not setting you up with a stranger or someone you wouldn’t be comfortable with. I assume you know me well enough that you’re comfortable around me?”

Yangyang lifts an upturned palm and raises an eyebrow, waiting for a response to his assumption. Petulantly, you shake your head playfully and stick out your tongue at him.  

Rubbing the back of his neck, his gaze drops down to the floor for his last point. His voice lowers.

“And, I don’t know, we’d just hang out like we usually do during that time, except we’d do more couple-y things.”

Realizing the implication of his words, he widens his eyes. “I mean, we'll do whatever you’re comfortable with, obviously. We don’t have to do any of the physical stuff—”

You burst into a giggle at his rambling and hold a hand out, cutting him off. “Okay, Yang. I get it.”  

Yangyang watches your next moves carefully. You’re peering off to one side and picking at the tips of your fingers. After a minute that feels like forever, you nod slowly.

“I guess you have a point. We are sorta like a couple already.”

Your best friend sighs in relief, grinning that you’re not outright rejecting the idea.

“So,” you meet his eyes and bunch a shoulder up towards your ear. “We’ll just be a couple until what, New Year’s?”

“Yeah, sure,” he shrugs indifferently. “Whatever you want. It’s your Christmas wish.”

You chuckle and shake your head in disbelief that you two are actually making an agreement for Yangyang to be your temporary, holiday boyfriend.

Honestly, it’s a little crazy... but maybe it’s the perfect thing to get your mind off of Mark and the handful of holiday exes hanging above your head.

“Okay, since my last final is on the 21st, let’s start ‘dating’ then and we’ll play everything by ear, see how it goes.”

Yangyang bobs his head eagerly. “Sounds good, soon-to-be girlfriend.”

He sticks a hand out for you to shake. You take it firmly, sealing the deal and flashing him a grin.

“Soon-to-be boyfriend.”  

Although the night goes on like usual between the two of you, you couldn’t deny how ecstatic you are to finally have a boyfriend during the holidays, even if it was technically your best friend as a stand-in.

DECEMBER 21st

Tonight’s your first date with Yangyang.

That sounds weird to say, you admit to yourself, but it’s the truth.

After you stroll out of your last final of the semester, Yangyang’s waiting for you inside near the main exit of the building with several layers on, including his hoodie over his head and a knitted scarf underneath. His attention leaves his phone and he stuffs it into pocket as he notices you heading over.  

“Hey, girlfriend,” he welcomes you, beaming.

You snicker at the unfamiliar label. You wonder if you’re going to get used to this, even if it’s only for two weeks.  

“Hey, boyfriend,” you grin harder as the word falls from your lips, trying your best not to outright burst into laughter. “Where we heading off to?”

Although you said both of you could play the dating by ear, Yangyang’s been keen on scheduling plans for the upcoming days. You told him he didn’t have to, however, he insisted by saying that he wouldn’t only be a horrible boyfriend, but a horrible friend if he couldn’t make the next weeks fun for you.

Yangyang was anything but a horrible friend, and the fact that he was willing to be your holiday boyfriend to make you happy proved it further. Nevertheless, you gladly let him take the reins.

“I was thinking the movies tonight? See the latest Marvel film?”

Concurring to the idea, you scurry towards the bus stop and are movie-theatre bound to the nearest one off-campus. Arriving at the theatre, Yangyang and you buy your tickets and a popcorn to share, then head into the respective auditorium where the movie is playing. Since the movie’s been running for a couple of weeks, the auditorium is fairly empty, giving you two the chance to snag perfect middle seats with nobody else is in the row.  

Up to this point, aside from the name-dropping of boyfriend and girlfriend, this feels less like a date and more like any other hang-out with him. Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing awkward.

But that changes during a third of the movie.

You’re both so immersed by the screen that neither party notices the other’s hand when both of you reach for the popcorn in Yangyang’s lap at the same time.  

A jolt runs through as your hands brush together. The duo’s eyes tear away from the screen and flit to the action happening in real-time. The touch lingers for several moments.  

“Sorry,” you quickly mumble, drawing your hand back slightly, but still hovering over the popcorn.    

“Uhm,” Yangyang licks his lips and visibly gulps under the screen’s bright glare.

He whispers, his voice almost cracking, “As your boyfriend, can I hold your hand?”

Okay, this is just your best friend, acting as your temporary boyfriend, asking to hold your hand. No big deal, no big deal at all.

Yet, the thunderous knocking in your ears, louder than the explosions blasting through the theatre’s speakers, suggests otherwise.

You don’t even register it, but you’re already nodding in response. Your breathing slows to the rate of Yangyang’s hand inching over. At the anticipated contact, you gasp softly. His smooth fingers clasp over yours. Since the arm rest in the middle of you is positioned upward, there’s no obtrusion and you relax, letting your hands mingle in between the empty space.

Without looking at one another, both of you smile bashfully to yourselves as you try to continue to focus on the screen.

After a while, because you aren’t exactly holding hands, you spread your fingers, hastily doing so because you don’t want him to think you’re breaking the interaction, and twist your palm to properly interlock hands with him. You give Yangyang’s hand a warm, gentle squeeze. He does the same and even strokes his thumb against your skin.

Talk about playing everything by ear. Who knew you’d be hand in hand on the first date?

You attempt to not think much on it, but Yangyang’s hand in yours feels... so right, like your hand was made for this, for his to hold. Like you should’ve done this way sooner.

And if Yangyang’s thoughts could be heard, he’s thinking the same.

Despite the mutual fear of sweaty palms, neither of you desire to let go, so much that you not only hold hands during the rest of the movie, but throughout the bus ride back to campus and all the way until he escorts you to your front door.

With a certain charge in the atmosphere, you exchange sweet good-byes. That night, after the culmination of stress from finals and your worries of your holiday exes, you finally have a peaceful sleep, looking forward to your date with Yangyang tomorrow.

DECEMBER 22nd

“Babe, how do I look?”

“Very pretty, honey.” A bundled up Yangyang winks at you from behind his phone.

The second date is an evening at a Christmas light festival at a botanical garden on the outskirts of town. The lights illuminate so strongly; there was a glowing dome-like hue over the location that seemed to reach the dark sky as you got off the bus.

When stepping foot into the garden, all the encompassing lights mesmerize you. Lights on the various greenery, lights as decorative art pieces, lights lining the pathways. Different shades of colours and shapes engulf the massive area.

Yangyang’s currently in the middle of taking your photo near an arch tangled with dark blue, gold, and white bulbs. All night long, you’ve been mockingly using endearing terms, but, despite the frigid air, your cheeks heat up over something else he just said.

“You think I’m pretty?” you genuinely ask, breaking your pose.  

He lowers his phone a bit, his jaw dangling.

“Uh, I mean,” he giggles awkwardly, nodding softly. “Yeah.”

Yangyang never told you, but he initially sat near you in Psych 101 because he thought you were the most stunning girl in the class. And sure, he was a little disappointed at the time to find out you had a boyfriend, but that didn’t mean you two couldn’t still be friends. Other than the first few weeks he had a crush on you, he’s never thought of you as more than a friend.  

But those feelings are resurfacing, hitting him in the chest like a bag of bricks, due to moments like this one—you’re batting your eyelids, gaze straying elsewhere, and adorably chewing on your lower lip.  

“And you’re not just saying that as my holiday boyfriend?”

Pouting to one side, he shakes his head cutely. “Mm-mm.”

On the flipside, the beginning with Yangyang for you was strictly platonic. You were dating Haechan at the time you met him. When Haechan broke up with you later that fall, you kept a distance from dating for a while, heartbroken from the high school love gone sour. During that period, you never told him, but you did run through the possibility of dating Yangyang since you got along so well... until you met Jaemin earlier the next semester, who stole your heart. Ever since then, you’ve never seen Yangyang under that light again.

Despite that, you can’t deny how attractive he is, and now that you’re single and technically dating him, you embrace the fact with open arms.  

Beaming as bright as the lights, you tug him by the end of his puffer jacket’s sleeve to bring him closer to you.

“C’mon, handsome, let’s take some pictures together.” Prickles rise under Yangyang’s cheeks from the off-hand compliment.  

Holding your phone up in the air at about an arm’s length away, the side of your heads touch to prepare for a few selfies. When you finish capturing them, Yangyang’s hovering over your shoulder as you scroll through to glance through the photos.

“We look good together,” you comment. “Don’t you think?”

In sync, your heads turn to meet each other. Your eyes waver from the blatant clouds of your breaths and over to his lips. The clouds become rapid bursts as you begin to lean forward. So does Yangyang.

“Do you guys want a picture together?” someone suddenly asks. The abrupt voice drags you both apart instantly, crushing the moment into pieces.

“Sure,” you peep, fumbling to hand your phone over to the stranger.

Posing, Yangyang’s hand rests around the middle of your back, which is the norm when you take pictures with him, but he pulls you in snugly. You smile even wider, relishing in the new-level of intimacy and allow yourself to be truly content among his presence.

“You guys are such a cute couple,” the stranger gushes while they return your phone prior to walking away.

“I guess we are, huh, babe?” you jut your tongue out in jest at him. This time, you indulge in the endearing term without a sliver of mockery.  

Yangyang copies you, jutting his tongue out further than yours, and seizes your hand to continue the tour around the gleaming garden.

The almost-kiss isn’t mentioned for the rest of the night, nor is it acted upon, but both individuals dwell on the near occurrence before sleep that evening, staring longingly at their bedroom ceiling.

DECEMBER 23rd

For the third date, you find yourselves at the campus’ dedicated ice rink arena to partake in ice skating.

You’ve skated a few times in the past, but you’re by no means a pro. On the other hand, this is apparently Yangyang’s first time, and he’s already skating circles around you.

“Show off,” you grumble as he does another lap past you. Your gloved hands are splayed out in front of you, careful not to fall flat on your face.

Turning on his blades, he rebounds over to you.

“Sorry,” he pants. His raised cheeks glow an adorable shade of pink. “This is really fun when you get the hang of it.”

Yangyang intertwines his fingers with yours before you can say anything. “C’mon, take my hand.”  

At first, it was sweet to skate alongside your holiday boyfriend, notwithstanding the few times you almost trip. As the minutes pass, you think you’re getting the hang of it, but suddenly, Yangyang unleashes your hand and glides ahead of you, abandoning you to slide at a swift pace that is definitely out of your comfort zone.  

“Yangyang, what the fuck?!” you screech, completely disregarding the handful of surrounding parents with their kids, the former sending daggers your direction. Your ankles struggle to make a T-shape to stop, but the struggling only somehow makes you move faster.  

As he spins to face you, now skating backwards with ease, he says, “See, you got the hang of it-oomph—”

Air’s struck from his lungs when you crash into his body. Thankfully, Yangyang skids his blades harshly against the ice and is able to steady and support you within his arms.

“You little fucker,” you gripe, lightly punching him in the arm.

He chuckles blithely, “Sorry, but it was kinda funny, you gotta admit.”

You breathe a large huff, which makes you note how your hair is falling over your face after the catastrophe. You’re about to lift your hand to rearrange the strands, but Yangyang beats you to it and is in the midst of tucking them behind your ear.

The knocking in your ears reappears with a vengeance and the physical source of the knocking is thrashing violently against your chest.

Your scorching breaths fuse in the refrigerated rink as Yangyang eliminates the inches of space between, his plush mouth ultimately converging with yours.

You have to constantly remind yourself to breathe under Yangyang’s intensity, and remind yourself that you’re in a public space and shouldn’t be making out like this.

But everyone’s skating around the couple, daring to not disrupt the affectionate display.

God, you don’t know when was the last time you’ve been kissed like this. Have you ever even experienced a kiss that was a fraction of this? Yangyang daintily cups your cheeks like you’re glass, but his lips press ruggedly into yours, inflaming your entirety and melting any existence of your figurative fragility.  

You ignore the echo in the back of your mind that reminds you he’s your temporary boyfriend.

The Talk will inevitably occur, but your future self could deal with it. Presently, you’re too caught up, drowning in Yangyang’s embrace.

DECEMBER 24th

On Christmas Eve, Yangyang decides to bring you to an outdoor Christmas market.

Understandably, since it’s the day before Christmas, the place is absolutely packed. For the first fifteen minutes or so, it’s joyous being immersed in the Christmas spirit with the assorted little shops and their respective products. You’re holding Yangyang’s hand tightly, pointing and half-shouting over the bustle about the items that catch your eye.

Unfortunately, someone accidentally bumps against your arms and your hand is gone from his.

Swivelling your head, searching through the crowd, it occurs to you that you officially lost Yangyang.

Your feet come to a halt as your hand attempts to dig into your jacket pocket to pluck your phone out, but the moving crowd forces you to constantly follow the stream.

You yell for him, but words can’t materialize. Your windpipe tightens. Your breath is becoming shallower and shallower. Blood pulses in your ears alarmingly, blocking out the clamour from around you. Your mind’s running everywhere without control.

Where is your boyfriend?

No, scratch that, he’s not your actual boyfriend—where is your best friend?

Did he leave you? He would never.

Right?

But what happens when all of this is over? Will you still have your best friend?

You’ve avoided The Talk long enough, but you didn’t expect to catch feelings for him. Not like this.  

Maybe you’re just destined to be alone.

Is this how it feels to actually lose him?

Tears fight your vision. You hear a faint call of your name, but you can’t urge yourself to turn around, sinking only further into the sea of anonymity. You’re just a face in a crowd, all alone, with no one who cares—

Yangyang grasps you by the arm and maneuvers you aside to a less busy area behind one of the vendor stands.

“Oh, God, thought I lost you there—”

You cut him off, hugging him with all your might and stuff your face in his chest cushioned by the downy layers of his winter jacket. Yangyang immediately drapes his arms securely around you, reading your uneasiness.  

“Hey, I got you. I got you,” he soothes, running a hand through your hair. “God, not my best idea. Sorry for bringing you here.”

You shake your head, wordlessly informing him that it’s okay. You’re just glad to be with him again.

“Wanna go home?”

You nod solemnly, and Yangyang zips you out of there in minutes with his arm tucked by your side,  ensuring he doesn’t lose you in the crowd again.

Fortunately, the jitters mostly disappear when you arrive at your place in the late afternoon. You’re in the middle of rummaging through your keys to unlock your door.

“Sorry I didn’t have anything else planned for today,” he mumbles, leaning with folded arms against the wall.

“Did you...” You insert the correct key and turn the lock, clicking the door open. Your gaze lifts to match his. “Did you wanna maybe have dinner with me tonight? I was thinking of ordering pizza in.”

The grin that reaches his eyes is a sufficient answer for you.

“Wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” He hangs his arm around your shoulder and plants a kiss atop your head.

After chomping down pizza and playing a few rounds of Super Smash Bros. on Yangyang’s Switch, you peer over to him on your living room couch while he’s figuring out which character he should play next.  

The little mental voice in the back of your mind prods you, reminding that you should really, really have The Talk soon. The Talk that you swept under the rug at the start by saying you’d play everything by ear.

Four dates later, and the thought of this ending scares the living daylights out of you. This not only including the interim relationship, but the dire possibility of the friendship itself too. Is it possible to go back to how you were, flipping it off like a light switch?

But the internal voice is smothered as you’re drawn to his pouting lips in thought. His pouting, oh-so kissable lips. Following the ice skating kiss yesterday, you only shared a good-bye kiss when he dropped you off. Since then, you’ve been itching to have his lips on yours again.

Yangyang eventually detects your lack of focus and finds you gawking at his mouth. Your gaze dashes to his eyes, blinking innocently, but then his eyes flicker to your mouth.

The tension in the room snaps. You two carefully throw the Switch controllers off to one side and attach yourselves together. Unlike the crashing of your bodies at the ice rink, this one is purposeful. Deliberated, as his forehead presses into yours and his tender caress carries your cheek. Your body plummets backwards until Yangyang pins you completely into the couch.

Initially, the lip-locking is gentle and mild. Your fingers lay in the vicinity of his angular visage and sturdy upper frame, in contrast to his hand curling around your waist in a light squeeze.

Soon, hands traverse to other regions—his back, your thigh, his stomach, your ass. Each touch seeking, craving, whining. Tongues slinking and dancing with appetite. Your bodies buzz for more.

Open-mouthed kisses transition from the damp lips to each other’s necks. The touches dig deeper, thriving with hunger. Your back bows, body curving into his. Grinding ensues and his robust desire is blatant against your own pulsing passion.

“You don’t happen to have any condoms on you, do you?” you groan upwards to the ceiling.

He retracts from your neck to swing his head side to side, grumbling a “Sorry, we can stop...” yet you interrupt his apology by cupping his covered length. The guttural groan he exhales into your lips makes you shiver with pleasure.

“Doesn’t mean we still can’t have fun with our hands...” you say slyly.

“Fuck yeah,” he rasps, smirking, before diving in again to taste your mouth.

Clothes are stripped with the assistance of each other, leaving you with only your bra on while Yangyang opts to be completely bare. He tops your body in the same position once more.

On the couch arm rest, your head is perched with his hand clutching the space next to it for leverage. Both figures are too scatter-brained to delve into the exquisite nudity of one another, hands flying desperately to your respective arousals.

Your pretty fingers wrap around his possession almost exactly when he dips two digits into your warmth. In unison, two sharp, quiet gasps pierce the room.

“Shit, you’re so wet,” he hisses observantly. You’re so overwhelmed by the bliss that you can’t assemble any sort of response.

Your mouth’s parted to one side, chest soaring with each plunge. Through his clouded vision, he ambles over your curves and lines and yearns to see your breasts, but he respects your choice of keeping it on and opts to ambush the expanse with kisses. Your chest is launched further into his mouth and Yangyang assumes you’re enjoying this.

Fearing friction burn, you drop him from your grip momentarily, swiping a few licks over your palm. When your hand pumps him again, now drenched with saliva, grunts reverberate against your skin.  

“Yangyang?” you whimper, causing his face to pull away from the temple of your body.

“Yeah, baby?”

“I’m-I’m close.” And he can attest to it; the contractions around him are increasing, harshly squeezing his fingers.    

“Same,” he pants.

Your best friend flicks his wrist with ignition, securing your waves of elation. You attempt to do the same, but it’s difficult when he’s also sloppily thrusting himself into your fist, so you simply clench your grasp harder. His features pinch and choppy moans dribble as he yields to his climax, gushing himself over your stomach.  

Still sucking in lungfuls of air, Yangyang kisses you tenderly before removing himself to clean up the mess he made.

Following the clean-up, while putting on your clothes, Yangyang expresses how he should get going since it’s getting late.

“Did you wanna stay the night?” you pipe up.

His mind races, debating on whether to leave or not, anxious to blur the lines of your relationship even further.

Sure, he’s your temporary boyfriend, thus staying over at your place shouldn’t mean anything. But this agreement is ending next week, and he’s questioning if you two can stay just friends after this, knowing that he’s going to want more. Yangyang has had a taste of the what if, and it’s now irrevocable.

He wants you all for himself. Selfishly, but deeply.

For the sake of keeping this a great thing for you, he shoves his thoughts aside. This is all about you and for your benefit, anyhow.

“Uh, sure, I can take the couch like I always—”

“Yangyang, you just put your fingers inside of me,” you snicker, snagging him by the hand to your bedroom. “C’mon.”

The rest of the night is relatively chaste with some kisses and touches here and there. Eventually, you fall asleep facing each other with your fingers interlocked, excited for the big day tomorrow.

DECEMBER 25th

Normally on Christmas, Yangyang and you spend it with your respective families, but coincidentally, both of your families, your parents being retired and all, ended up vacationing this year, leaving the two of you to spend it with each other.

After getting up around noon, Yangyang heads to his place to grab his gift. He takes longer than you expected because, as it turns out, he also went home to grab baking goods he bought beforehand since he wants to make butter cookies with you today.

The cookies end up fine, but the mess is another story. Besides the chaos on the counter, your faces and aprons are splotched with flour (you swear he started it, but he disagrees and stands his ground that you’re the perpetrator). With a damp cloth, Yangyang aids you to clean, but not forgetting to wipe your face and giving you pecks over your cheeks and nose.  

The baking and aftermath occupies most of the afternoon, so dinner comes in the form of fancy, romantic instant ramen for two. Afterwards, you two sit in your living room and start to exchange gifts.  

Yangyang hands his over to you first. From the size of the gift and the crumpled, oddly-shaped wrapping, you already can guess it’s a stuffed plushie of a cute animal to add to your never ending collection. You hug it tightly with a large smile.

“It’s so cute, thank you!” you squeal, but you change your expression in an instant to a serious pout. “But you can’t steal this one like you did with my Ice Bear plushie.”

“Hey, I didn’t steal Ice Bear, I just forgot to give him back.” You roll your eyes sarcastically and he laughs. “I’ll bring him over tomorrow, if it makes you feel better.”  

Then, when it’s your turn, you head into your bedroom and come out with a large, white shopping bag. His eyebrows raise, unsure of what could warrant a gift this size.

“For being my holiday boyfriend,” you grin, placing the bag in front of his feet.  

Despite the hugest smile on your face, his heart sinks at the label for a second, but he blinks and wills himself to look inside the bag.

His eyes shoot open, so much that you’re scared you might have to stuff them back into his sockets.

Yangyang slips the box out of the bag with precision and stares at it speechlessly.

It’s the new Playstation.

He shifts his eyes toward you. You’re swaying on the couch, pleased by his reaction.  

“Your parents paid for most of it, so I can’t take all the credit.” Sticking a finger in the air, you add, “You just gotta promise to share custody with me though—”

A hand behind your head yanks you into a deep kiss. He’s not the only one left speechless on the couch. He places the top of his head against yours.

“You’re crazy, but I love—” He quickly catches himself from saying something he might regret. “—I love it so much, thank you. Now I feel bad for getting you only the stuffed animal...”

You shake your head softly, brushing your thumb against his cheekbone.

“Thank you for everything.” Your eyes twinkle. “I couldn’t have asked to spend the holidays with anyone else.”

Carefully, like a newborn baby, he safely situates the boxed Playstation to one side and nabs your lips with his again. The scene feels like repeat of last night as your bodies wrestle passionately on the couch.

“Not to be presumptuous,” he mutters between the kisses upon your neck. Your eyelids flutter at the sensation. “But I also grabbed condoms from my place when I stopped by.”

His words sends the two of you leaping towards your bedroom. Under the dim lighting, you fall into the bed as Yangyang pares your layers off, one by one. With each peel, his lips roam the revealing bare skin. You swear he has kissed you from your literal head to toe when you’re fully nude in front of him.

Your companion drags his shirt over his head, throws it off to your floor, and immediately targets in onto your nub with his mouth, finally satiating his craving from last night.

Fingers thread into his hair and over his flexed back. His tongue swirls and his teeth lightly tug on your perkiness, making your eyes roll to the back of your head. And he still isn’t even inside you yet.

After leaving love upon your other bosom, Yangyang fumbles with the condom, forgetting which way it should go on. Giggling, you perch yourself onto your elbows and assist him. Rolling it over his possession, you recline yourself back and spread your legs for him.

Pensively, he sticks his tongue out as he adjusts himself between your sex, easing himself into you, and upon the full impact, you meet his gaze head-on. His stare makes you feel vulnerable and exposed beyond the physical plane.  

But, unlike the others you have been with, you trust him with everything, like you always have, and be free with him. Losing your inhibitions and submitting to your whims, you entangle and become one with Yangyang.  

Behind his hazy vision, Yangyang’s simply thinking how beautiful you are, how he can’t imagine anyone else under his touch but you, how he is willing to give up anything to make you smile.

Well, in this case, he’s willing to give up anything to make you pleased.

However, it doesn’t seem like he needs to do much because you’re howling his name and clinging onto his skin and the sheets in a frenzy, like you’re about to die of exhaustion.

You perish a few times under him before he finally reaches his little death himself, convulsing into the sheath.

When air’s replenished into your bodies, you rest on his chest under your blanket. Glancing up at him, you move some of his tousled hair off his sleek forehead.

“Merry Christmas, Yangyang,” you whisper, snuggling him with a satisfied smile.

“Merry Christmas, babe,” he whispers back, giving you one last peck before you both drift into a deep slumber together.  

DECEMBER 26th

Last night took so much out of the both of you, you don’t get out of bed until about the middle of the afternoon. Yangyang doesn’t have anything planned for today since it’s Boxing Day, since the crowds might be crazy wherever you go, so it’s officially a chill, rest day for you both.

When you step out of the shower in fresh clothes, from behind the couch, you watch Yangyang gaming on his Switch.

The little voice in your head looms, prompting that now is the time to have The Talk, and speaks up on your behalf.

“Do we have to end things next week?” you croak.

You see Yangyang’s shoulders stiffen, then he pauses the game and turns around to face you. His gaze follows you as you step closer to the couch, opting to stand.  

“Uhm.” His Adam’s apple bobs and he shrugs. “It’s up to you, it’s your—”

“Yangyang, that’s not what I’m asking. I’m asking what you think, how do you feel?”

His lips press together and he’s staring at the floor. You can tell the gears are moving, but you can’t read his expression clearly.

“I’m down for whatever you want to do,” he says slowly, eyes still averting yours.

That’s a I’m-your-best-friend answer, you deduce. Not a I-want-to-be-your-actual-boyfriend answer.  

He adds, stuttering, “I mean, I wouldn’t mind doing this a little longer if that’s what you want—”

Your face scrunches in annoyance. “Did you just sign up to be my short-term boyfriend so you can fill my empty heart?”

His eyebrows crease with confusion. “I mean, I never want to see you unhappy.”

“So it’s pity dating then?” you lash, raising your voice.

“No, I—” Yangyang bites down on his tongue, almost letting the one word slip out again. He blows out a lengthy sigh and runs a hand through his hair. “I care about you, so much. I’d do anything to make you happy.”

You’re defining his words as an affirmation of friendship and as an underlying rejection of your love.

You need to know for certain.

“Do you love me, Yangyang?” you blurt. “As more than a friend?”

This is it, Yangyang thinks. This is your chance to let her know how you feel.

But the distress written on your face makes him wonder if he should even go through with it, and it’s intensifying with every passing moment that he’s not speaking.  

If only he knew your distress was deepening because you took his hesitance as absolute rejection.  

Your heart is breaking because of him, and he technically wasn’t even yours to begin with.

You smack your lips together and gulp a few times, trying to make the huge knot in your throat disappear.

“You know what, maybe let’s just forget this arrangement and leave it all behind and forget about the sex and—”

“You wanna stop this?” he utters quietly.

The word “this” hangs heavy in the air. This, carrying the weight of not only being the temporary agreement, but also your friendship.

“Yeah,” you whisper, tears beginning to blur your eyes. “I think I do.”

DECEMBER 28th

Two days have passed since you last saw Yangyang.

That day before he left, Yangyang, feeling guilty for how events unfolded, wanted to give back the Playstation, but you insisted for him to keep it. In spite of everything, it was a Christmas gift to him from you and his parents.

But both of you weren’t sure if the shared custody promise was going to be held up.  

In hopes that things would eventually get better and heal itself, Yangyang thought it’d be best to leave you alone for a while, like how he usually did.

And maybe he was right to do so, but this time is different.

Because he’s on the other end of the stick now; he’s the one who broke your heart.  

Under regular circumstances, whenever you needed space, he was always ready to be there by your side.

But Yangyang’s uncertain if you’re going to let him comfort you this time.  

And you’re uncertain if you even want him to.

DECEMBER 30th

Today, Yangyang finally makes the move to get in touch with you, texting you to call him, but you don’t, so he leaves a voicemail later in the evening.

“There’s a New Year’s party I’m going to tomorrow,” he starts off, then spews the specific details.

There’s a pause and you hear shuffling in the background. You assume he’s pacing around.

“I know you ended our agreement, but I wouldn’t mind fulfilling my end since New Year’s is the last day tomorrow. I’d be really glad if you came to the party with me, whether it be as my friend or my girlfriend.”

Another pause.

On the other end, Yangyang rubs his palm over his face, considering whether or not he should say it. If you picked up the phone call, he was going to do it anyway, but this just felt improper. He wants to say it when he knows you’re listening in real-time, so he ends off the message with:

“I miss you. So much.”

DECEMBER 31st

It’s 8:40PM. Before Yangyang buses out to the party, he’s back at your front door for one more shot. His fist taps at your door, cognizant that you wouldn’t be elsewhere since your other friends are out of town for the holidays. Despite that, you don’t come to the door. Nevertheless, he speaks to you through the wooden barrier.

“Hey, I know you want to be left alone, but I just wanted to see if you changed your mind about the party.”

Still no answer. He lets out a sigh and prays the following will incite a reaction from you.  

“About the question that you asked me that night...”

He closes his eyes and allows his mouth to carry him.

“I do. I do love you. As both my best friend and more. I’m sorry if I hurt you that night by not saying anything, but I love you so much and I think we should give us a shot.”

Still no answer. Yangyang continues.

“Look, I know it’s scary and crazy to date your best friend. I’m scared too, but you know what? I’m okay with being scared. I’ve watched you gone through those assholes over the last few years and maybe you’re scared I’ll end up like one of them, but unlike them, I don’t think you’re horrible or needy or emotional—you’re beautiful, intelligent, and strong for putting up with all those fuckers.”

He leans his forehead gently against the door.

“And even if we ever do break up, and this is a big if because I’ll always try my hardest with you to make it work, I’ll still be your friend. I promise. You won’t lose me ‘cause I need you in my life. I gotta keep my end up for the custody of the Playstation, right?”

A smile breaks over his face from his joke, but still. Radio silence.  

“Can you at least say something?” he begs.

After a few minutes, realizing he needs to probably give you more time to be left alone, he departs and heads to the party.

Originally, you actually were planning on attending the party to see Yangyang to make-up with him.

Unfortunately, out of all the days you had to take a late afternoon nap, it had to be today.

And you overslept. Big time. 

At 10:55PM, you scramble awake, realizing you’re absolutely late to the event. Since the party’s downtown, you know calling an Uber or Lyft there would be fast, but tonight’s the worst night for any share riding service and there aren’t any available drivers. Thus, you have to manage with busing there.

It’s 11:40PM when you finally reach downtown, but the bus can’t take you all the way to the core centre where the party is; hordes of people are out on the streets and traffic is dreadful. God, you’re going to be cutting it close to midnight, but you make a run for it.

You’re grateful the party is on the second floor of a small building because you slide in right through the entrance at 11:58PM. You rush to call Yangyang’s phone, hoping he’ll pick up as you try to find him in the scattered groups of people.

You begin to holler for him in hopes he can hear you, but the countdown is happening, drowning out your voice. Thirty seconds left until the clock strikes for the new year.

When his number finally goes to voicemail, you redial his number. Suddenly, a hand grasps you by the wrist.

Yangyang looks at you, dumbfounded.

“When did you get here?”  

The harmonious chanting around you floods your surroundings.

“Ten, nine, eight...”

Getting closer to him, you practically scream into Yangyang’s face, trusting he’ll hear what you’re about to say.

“I know Christmas is over, but I want to change my wish.”

“Seven, six, five...”

“I know you might not feel the same and I know things might not work out.”

“Four, three, two...”

”But I wish to date you past New Year’s until whenever, however long we last.”

“One...”

“I love you, Yangyang—”

The one you love snatches you by the waist and your cheek, stealing your lips at the last millisecond before midnight.

“Happy New Year!”

A wave of noisemakers, clappers, and hollering erupt around the room. After it dies down a bit, Yangyang shocks you with a scolding.

“Why didn’t you say anything when I came over?!”

Confusion rushes over you. You realize he probably came by when you were sleeping. 

“You came over?!”

“Yeah, I confessed my love for you.”

“Wait,” you blink blankly, unsure if you heard him correctly. “Your love?”

“Yeah,” he nods, giving you his cheesy, adorable smile.  “I love you.”

“As more than a friend?” you clarify.

“Babe,” Yangyang’s thumb caresses your cheek. “I don’t think I could ever go back to wanting less with you.”

Your lips tremble with relief as your gaze melts in his.

“And, anyway, who else am I going to share the Playstation with?”

“Well, I mean, you do have Hendery, Xiaojun, Winwin...” you start to count his infinite list of friends on your fingers.  

“Yeah, but I need you so I can constantly beat your cute little butt at games.”

“You do not constantly beat my cute little butt at games, I’ll have you know that I beat you at—”  

Yangyang shuts you up with another kiss, the one of many for the rest of the night.

JANUARY 2nd

It’s your second morning at Yangyang’s place. You’ve only done it a few times now, but you realize that waking up in his arms is one of the greatest feelings in the world, second only to his kisses.  

In his bed, spooning you from behind, he grumbles into the nape of your neck, “Morning, girlfriend.”  

Half-awake, you mumble back, “Morning, boyfriend,” and sink deeper into the curve of his body.

Content, you finally broke your string of cursed holiday break-ups for good.  

And all it took was to be with the one who was in front of you all this time.

[bokutoslittlebird]

Family Vacation

Bokuto x reader x Akaashi

Author’s Note : no incest, I promise ; the request included some slight BokuAka interaction, however I made it more than slightly ; the hot springs resort is loosely based on three different locations under the Kinosaki Onsen in northern Hyogo [Mikuniya Ryokan, Yutouya Ryokan, Nishimuraya Ryokan]. Each one offers different things, but they all have some common aspects that I liked: seafood served during winter months [November - March], traditional ryokan, and options for the hot springs [indoor, outdoor, and family] ; holy fuck is this wrong.. but holy hell is it erotic

Warnings: introduction of the Bokuto family, best friends to lovers au, playful teasing [about reader’s virginity], some mlm [Bokuto x Akaashi] interaction, fingering, face-sitting, handjob, blowjob, cum eating, spit exchanges and mentions, no penetrative sex, virgin!reader, virgin!Bokuto

“Oh, [Y/N]! I’m so glad you could make it!”

“Thank you for having me, Bokuto-san,”

“Oh, dear, call me Fuyumi! You’re practically family, anyways,” she smiles, eyes crinkling as she does. Her smile makes you smile, bowing in respect as if you haven’t known her for years.

The Bokuto family always spent their winter vacation before New Years at an Onsen in Hyogo. Yasurai-fukurou was well known for their hot springs throughout the year, but their meals included seafood in the winter. Kōtarō and Shinjiro both love seafood, especially crab, so it made sense the Bokuto family would come to this place specifically. Winter meant snow, and snow meant the garden view from the spring was gorgeous, having the silver lining the green foliage as the pebbles along the ground glistened with melted snow, cold and slippery. It was Kōtarō’s and Machiko’s favorite season, so it was an added bonus. The family had the money to spend, treating the members to a relaxing trip. Even Keiji, Kōtarō’s friend, joined them his first year at Fukurodani.

You didn’t usually attend, yet you always wanted to. Your family celebrated holidays differently, so you often found yourself swamped with family activities around December, only getting free to hang out by the time school started back up. Always wishing to go, you finally got your wish this year. With the stress from school this past semester, your family decided to let you choose what to do, so you declined spending the holidays with your family. Instead, you were free to spend that quality time with the Bokuto family. Fuyumi practically begged Kōtarō to invite you, knowing you’d be alone, so you didn’t have to worry about inviting yourself. There was one problem, however.

“[Y/N] should room with us!” Machiko points out. “She can’t board with boys!”

“What do you take us for? We’re her best friends,” Kōtarō waves off his sister. “I worry Amaya might try to wrestle her,”

“She could use the practice!” She pipes up, only to be shut back down. “I wouldn’t hurt her,”

“Why not let the girl choose herself? It is where she will stay, in the end,” Shinjiro said. Although he was right, you suddenly felt your heart tugging in two different directions. Machiko and Kōtarō gave you the puppy dog eyes, begging to choose them. A heavy sigh came from you as you weigh the options presented in front of you.

“I trust Keiji and Kōtarō, I’ll room with them,”

“No!” The two girls dramatically shout, falling to their knees. Fuyumi laughs, patting your back.

“Good choice, dear,” she compliments. You know why. Her daughters may be considered mature and adults, but they are both hectic and chaotic in their own way. At least with Kōtarō, he has Keiji with him. There’s no reason to mull over the decision, you know full well that Keiji and Kōtarō wouldn’t hurt you.

Once settled into each room, your bedding laid between the two of them, the trip to relax in the ryokan was in order. The two genders were separated, of course, so you sat in the spring with Machiko, Amaya, and Fuyumi. It wasn’t a bad thing, being with the three, but you knew Machiko and Amaya like to tease you.

“Gosh, [Y/N], you’re so innocent! You’ve never done anything?” Amaya’s face made it seem like she was much more malicious than on the surface. “Even I had a couple boyfriends that I had special adventures with before your age,”

“Excuse me? Amaya!” Fuyumi scolds her daughter. “You never told us this,”

“Why would I? You and dad never allowed me to have a boyfriend until I graduated. Kōtarō even had a girlfriend in his second year,” she pouts, puffy cheeks making her less malicious and much more adorable. Though unintentional, her words make your mood sour, Kōtarō’s slipping from her lips. Machiko notices this, however.

“Well, Kōtarō is a boy and I told your father to make sure he doesn’t do any of that dating stuff, but it seems like he did,”

“You know, I’m kind of tired. I’m really relaxed,” you mention, moving to exit the water. “I should lay down and take a nap,”

“Oh, are you sure? Dinner will be served soon,” Machiko holds out her hand, as if to stop you. You’re quick about getting out, rinsing yourself off before wrapping a robe around your naked body.

“I’m sure. Wake me when dinner’s ready,” you cheerfully smile, waving to them as you leave the setting. Your smile falls, an artificial thing as you continue to pad towards the room. Passing the window leading to the garden, you notice the cascading of the white snowflakes, shimmering in the light from the outdoor lamps. It’s peaceful, the way it floats down to the ground until it rapidly melts, joining the slush forming on the pathway. A sigh leaves you, heart aching from the words Amaya let spill.

It wasn’t her fault, you tell yourself that as you continue to the room. Amaya doesn’t know, but Machiko does. Machiko has always had the older sister intuition, knowing when her younger siblings had something to hide or something embarrassing. Whether it was from her years of travel around the world, or just a trait of hers, she could pinpoint things that made you want to crawl in a hole. What does Machiko know, exactly? Your big, fat crush on her little brother.

Kōtarō has been your crush as long as you’ve known him, aka since you guys were waddling around with chubby legs. Your family and his family live near each other, so it made sense for you two to play a lot as children. As the years passed, your admiration for him evolved into a crushing thing, yet your young mind wouldn’t allow such a horrid thing to be spoken. No, it festered until you broke down one day in high school and confessed to the dark of the night, the only witness of your confession was the moon. You confessed that you loved him, you were in love with him, nobody else could compare. It hurt even more now, knowing you were falling in love with him while he was loving someone else. Even Keiji probably loved Kōtarō, knowing how close they were. You wouldn’t put it past them to be in a relationship, either. Each thought accompanied a step you took, each one bringing tears to prickle your eyes as you finally shut the door to the room, and your problems.

With the dark encompassing the room, you found yourself easily situating yourself on the ground to cry, curling up in a ball as you did so. A pathetic scene, you knew it was, yet you couldn’t help yourself.

After you left the ryokan, Shinjiro happened to be talking to the boys in front of him, both of them flushed red from the warmth of the bath and the topic at hand.

“I knew something was off in the way your mother encouraged you to invite her! I never thought it’d be that, however,” his guffaw had Kōtarō sinking into the water, bubbles coming from his nose as he huffs. Keiji looks at him pitifully, but doesn’t do much of anything else.

“She doesn’t even like me like that. This trip was a mistake,” Kōtarō mumbles, his mouth going back under the water. Keiji sighs, looking into the water where his distorted hands lie. Before he can speak, Kōtarō beats him to it. “I have to go to the bathroom. I think I’ll leave early,”

“You sure it’s just that?” Shinjiro teases. “Or are you going to wait for your lovely friend?”

“Okay, maybe it’s a bit of both,” he huffs, cheeks puffed out. Keiji lets the words die on his tongue, letting Kōtarō leave the spring without any reason to look back.

Shinjiro sighs, rubbing the back of his neck as he looks into the water. “Maybe I went too far. I shouldn’t tease him about his crush, it seems like it’s important to him. I don’t think she sees him in that light, anyways,”

“She does, actually. I think she’s been in love with him for a while,” he confesses. Shinjiro’s eyebrows rise as the words sink in. However, he is quick to understand. No longer laughing and joking, his smile is more bitter and sad. A pity smile.

“And you’ve been in love with her, haven’t you?”

Keiji turns his head to the side, yet he nods. The red dusting his cheeks is no longer just the warmth of the water. Shinjiro moves closer to Keiji, putting his hand on the younger man’s back.

“Then tell her. You both need to confess, not let this fester and turn into something ugly. Don’t let this ruin your friendship with Kōtarō, either. It’s not worth it,”

“I know. I know, Bokuto-san,”

“When you gonna call me Shinjiro? Or even dad? You need to let loose, Keiji!” He laughs again, getting Keiji to crack a smile.

While Keiji ponders how he should go about this, Kōtarō trudges up to his room for the week, unaware you’ve also turned in early. His mood has taken a turn for the worse, hair deflating as he pouts. No matter what, he’s always found himself finding your validation to be the most important. Throughout the years, he’s reached out to both you and Keiji for validation, finding them both to be important to him. While he knows Keiji partially does it just to make him happy, which he is thankful for, he knows yours is genuine. Even when he forced himself to move on, knowing you didn’t see him in that light, he found it hard. You followed him into his dreams, gleeful chimes of your laughter as the future he aims for bloomed into an obtainable goal. Yet, he’d wake up to see the empty space beside him, a brutal reminder that his dreamt future would stay in his head, playing on loop until he could do something about it in the real world.

When his door comes into view, he sighs, relief flooding through him. As he gets closer, he hears a soft voice from inside. Leaning his ear against the shut door, he hears you — a squeak of his name, accompanying a soft mewl, most likely held back due to the thin walls. Even he understands what you’re doing, it’s not like he’s never thought of you that way, finding himself wishing you could relieve his stress in the best way possible. As to respect your privacy, and settle his nerves, he quietly creeps away, to his parent’s booked room. He decides to use the toilet in there, giving you a few moments to finish your own business.

Leaning against the door once more, he doesn’t hear your heavy breaths or your moans and mewls, so he slides open the door to see you under the covers, laptop shining in your face as a movie plays. “Hey, what’re you doing here?”

“Huh?” You jump, turning to see Kōtarō’s large frame at the entrance of the room. It’s scary, the way he seems to have popped up after you finished, or attempted, getting off on thinking of him. “Oh, Kō. It’s just you. No more hot springs for you?”

“Oh, no, I found it to be getting too hot,” he lies, rubbing his neck. The robe you’re wearing is the one you put on after exiting the spring, so his perverted little mind knows you’re completely naked underneath. Not only that, you’re probably nice and slick from thinking about him—

He stops himself, hearing your voice. “Did you hear me? I asked if you wanted to watch the movie with me,”

“Oh, sorry, off in my own world. Uh, sure, what is it?”

“Crown for Christmas. A sappy romance Christmas movie, from America. It’s very predictable, but it’s cute. My mom loves it, so I brought it to watch,”

“Oh, that’s interesting,” he hums, lying on his own bedding. He didn’t move closer to you, giving you some space, but he finds himself panicking when you move closer.

“Can’t see if you’re all the way over there, dummy,” you giggle, pressing play. He can’t find it in himself to focus, the movie being background noise to his thoughts. The hot springs help to add a special glow to your skin, making it seem smoother than before, and you smell so nice, not to mention he can feel his cock throbbing at your soft voice calling out his name. What would it be like if he used his own fingers, would you be able to hold back? Or would you come completely undone as you came on his fingers— even better, his cock? Just the thought has him groaning, head shoved into his pillow as you pause the movie, probably confused.

He looks up, seeing your dazed expression — yep, totally confused. He sighs and shrugs, apologizing. “Are you okay? You seem.. tense,”

“Tense?” That’s one way to describe it, he supposes. “I’m just.. dad was teasing me earlier. That’s why I left. I’m.. remembering what he said,”

“Oh, I get that. Amaya kept teasing me about girl stuff, so I left. Machiko tried to stop me, but I was already out of the water,” you admit. It’s not the full truth, but that’s okay.

“Girl stuff? Like what?” Kōtarō never shied from girly stuff, including the weird stuff that happened to girls like puberty and the menstrual cycle. You chalked it up to his older sisters being shameless, never making it seem gross. Even when you started your period in class, Kōtarō was there to help you, a knight in shining armor.

You wish they were less shameless.

“Oh, um, you know, the romantic stuff,”

“Like? Boyfriends?”

“Yeah, I’ve.. never had one. No experience on my end. Amaya was teasing me because she had a couple of boyfriends before my age, so it.. it didn’t hurt my feelings, but it made me feel some kind of way, you know?” Your attempted explanation was kind of butchered, trying to explain it without giving too much detail. Kōtarō wouldn’t judge you, of course not, it wasn’t something to judge you about.

He knows the feeling, being inexperienced.

“W-Well, if you want any experience before going into the dating scene, I could.. always help you,” he whispers. His words hang in the air, settling into both of your minds. He’s berating himself for using such a lame line to try and get in your pants, but you’re trying to find a way to say yes without seeming desperate. However, “I mean! I have experience, so I could help you! I’d say I’m pretty good at doing stuff. Oh! It could be like.. any advice or something.. hands on,” he whispers the last part again, his confidence melting like snow on a summer’s day when your face falls.

It isn’t you don’t want it, you just would prefer him to not word it like that. It reminds you of Amaya’s words and the pain in your chest, the churn in your stomach. “If you’re gonna be like that, maybe I should ask Keiji,” you huff, turning your body away from his. Focusing on forcing your stomach to stop twisting in knots, you don’t even notice when Kōtarō closes the laptop and presses himself against you. Well, not until you feel something pressing into your back. “Kō—”

“Don’t be like that. I’ve never actually gone all the way, I’ve been saving that for someone special. I can help, though, if you’d let me,” his breath fans over your ear, sending shivers down your spine. His arm snakes under you, pulling you into his stomach while he lays on his back.

“Kōtarō!”

“You’re stressed, gotta loosen up a bit. I’m helping,” he just says, making sure your legs are hooked over his. With the lack of clothing under the robe, your nether region is spread open towards the door, sending your adrenaline skyrocketing. Kōtarō is quick to ease that, his thick fingers spreading open your folds while his middle finger rubs against your sensitive clit. “You’re absolutely soaked, do I turn you on that much?” He’s grinning, you know he is. Gritting your teeth, you keep your mouth closed as you focus on the feeling of his fingers, now sliding up and down and collecting your slick.

Kōtarō doesn’t want to tease you for too long, slipping his middle finger into your cunt as you mewl, hand coming to cover your mouth. “What a reaction. I wonder..” he trails off, pulling his finger out, only to add in three fingers. You’re arching, legs tending against his as he fingers you, lips pressing themselves to your hair and ear. When his tongue flicks out against your ear, you squirm and he grunts, his left arm keeping you firm against him. “Sensitive, are you?”

He doesn’t get any vocal confirmation from you, but the way you’re clenching around his fingers tells him all he needs to know. He makes sure to keep his thumb bumping against your clit, adding pressure. You can feel the familiar feeling, the beginning of an orgasm as he pumps his fingers into you. With a squeal of his name, your nails dig into the meat of his arm, liquids spilling out of you and all over Kōtarō’s fingers. The squishing sound enters your ears, legs tensing as you mewl, his fingers rubbing themselves against you some more.

“You’re so wet.. I bet it’d be easy to slip my cock in there, wouldn’t it?” His voice is low, a rumble in his chest as your cunt clenches at the thought, your wildest fantasies so close to coming to fruition when someone clears their throat. You pop up, Kōtarō jolting and keeping you on his chest as he moves.

Keiji is looking at the both of you, a heavy blush adorning his cheeks. The room is dim, only the lights from outside the inn illuminating him. He’s right at the door, right in front of where Kōtarō was just fingering you. Kōtarō’s hand finally leaves from between your legs, glistening wetness shown in the lamplight. “If you want to give her experience, you need to go over everything involved in foreplay, Kōtarō. There’s more to prep,”

“M-More?” your voice is small, barely a whisper as you find more slick oozing from you, Keiji entering the room. He kneels down in front of you, still held against Kōtarō’s chest.

“Has he even kissed you, yet? Or did he go headfirst into fingering you?” When you shake your head, Kōtarō himself sucking in a breath, Keiji knows he was right. With the elegance he always exudes, Keiji tilts your chin up towards him. “Then, allow me,”

The kiss is gentle, yet not simple. His lips are firmly against yours, molding perfectly as he keeps your chin tilted. As he deepens the kiss, you find your hands grasping at his own robe, feeling yourself lighter than you were when you had entered the room. Keiji moves to pull away, a brisk kiss on your lips once more before swiping his tongue over your bottom lip, sending heat all over your body.

“Akaashi..” Kōtarō whines, his grip on you tightening. “This is supposed to be my time with her,”

“Well, you’re going too fast. Why not elongate the time spent together, hm?” His voice sends tingles down your spine, his hands removing you from Kōtarō’s grasp. “Lay back, Bokuto-san. You’ll get your turn,”

Your brain is going haywire as he speaks, undoing Kōtarō’s robe with unconscious grace. He’s not doing it on purpose, you know he isn’t, it’s just how he is. Once Kōtarō has been disrobed, you find more heat springing to your cheeks as his muscles ripple and flex. The lack of light prevents you from seeing everything, but you’ve always found yourself insatiable when thinking of his broad frame and what hides under his clothes.

“Give me your hand, [Y/N],” Keiji’s voice has you coming back down to earth, yet you find yourself once more shy with Kōtarō’s legs spread, his cock heavy and so large in Keiji’s hand. You comply, though, your much smaller hand joining Keiji’s around Kōtarō’s girth. It’s so much, the way it feels and the heat of the skin under your fingertips. A soft groan comes from Kōtarō as Keiji moves his hand, his other hand shuffling you between his legs.

“This is called a handjob, [Y/N],” Keiji says. You nod in understanding, realizing he’s teaching you. “Moving your hand up and down the shaft is the basic function of it, but you can also use your fingers to tease the slit, like so,” he demonstrates, swiping his thumb over the small slit, puffy and red where Kōtarō’s cum is dripping from. The simple act has Kōtarō throwing his head back, moaning as his hand covers his mouth. The walls are thin and if his family is back, they probably have a good idea of what’s going on.

“I see,” you hum, continuing to move your hand up and down the shaft. Keiji nods, seeing you’re understanding.

“Or tease his balls, like cupping them or massaging. Don’t squeeze them hard, though. It won’t feel very nice,” his hand moves to cup and tease Kōtarō’s balls, the man himself laying on his back as his face turns red, the ministrations getting to be too much. “There’s also a blowjob, but we can teach you that next time,”

“N-Next time??” You squeak, jumping a bit. Whether it was a one time thing or the beginning of a relationship didn’t cross your mind. His words, however, seem to please you more than imaginable.

“Of course, darling. We’re not done here, either. Why don’t you let Bokuto-san show you what other kinds of pleasure he can give you?” At Keiji’s words, Kōtarō pops up with a bright smile on his face.

“Sit on my face, baby,”

“Oh, woah, wow, uh..” you stop, unsure how to politely decline. His mouth and nose, down there? Not to mention your weight on his head? You were sure he’d regret his decision. “I don’t think”

“I’ll be fine. C’mon, I gotta show you what else my mouth can do besides dirty talk,” he winks, sending more heat to your cheeks, making you feel rather hot for a winter’s day, clad in only a robe. Keiji seems to read your mind, taking your robe from your shoulders, the belt falling undone easily from the previous activities. Once you’re down to your birthday suit, Keiji presses a kiss to your shoulder blade, a whisper to go that sends you crawling closer to Kōtarō’s face. He grins, eagerly taking your thigh and placing it on the other side, keeping your drenched cunt close to his face. He says something, but only a muffled noise comes out, his tongue swiping along your folds.

With your back to him, Keiji wishes he told you to face him and watch, yet he finds the scene of you erotic. He may have a bit more expertise than you and Kōtarō, it seems that’s all that’s needed. He smiles, gaze catching on the way Kōtarō’s fingers dig into the fat of your thigh, making indents. Completely forgotten, Keiji spits a glob onto Kōtarō’s cock, him jumping at the feeling. With a few more pumps of his hand, he flicks his tongue against the head.

Kōtarō’s moan has you mewling, the sound acting as a vibration as your fingers tug harshly on the silver and black strands. Though not as long as they were in high school, there’s enough to grasp and pull on. The wet sounds from behind you has your head turning, eyes falling on Keiji’s mouth wrapped around Kōtarō’s cock. It’s an erotic scene, his head moving up as more of the length is revealed, his blue eyes settling on your own as you feel a nip down below. So focused on Keiji, Kōtarō wants your attention all on him. Keiji chuckles, almost like a hum, that vibrates around the cock in his mouth that has Kōtarō moaning.

The tongue that flicks against your clit has you squirming, restrained mewls and moans leaving your lips as hands tug on his locks. Kōtarō licks and suckles on your clit occasionally, then moves down to prod and swipe over your entrance. The position makes it easy for him to breathe, but he moves down further. New position has you squealing, hands flying to your mouth as you squeeze your eyes shut to focus on the pleasure. Another moan from Kōtarō that sends shivers down your spine, heat to your core, accompanying the obscene noises of Keiji sucking Kōtarō off.

With Kōtarō’s nose bumping against your clit, his tongue’s only focus is on your pretty little cunt, sucking and swirling his tongue. The sensitivity from earlier makes quick work of you, hunching over as your thighs tighten around Kōtarō’s head, his strong hands keeping you from hurting him as you gush all over his face. A moan comes from him as he laps at your juices spilling over his face, his own orgasm coming as Keiji takes him down as far as he can. Globs of white cum spurt from the side of Keiji’s mouth, a gagging sound as he struggles to swallow it.

A hand on your shoulder has you leaning back, falling against Keiji’s chest with his cheeks puffy. Kōtarō manages to look up at the scene, gaze fuzzy as he watches Keiji kiss you once more, cum seeping from where his lips meet yours. When Keiji pulls away, his tongue is out, pushing the dripping cum into your mouth where the rest lies. It’s enough to have Kōtarō hard once more, a dark and heavy blush settling across his cheeks and nose.

The thick appendage pressing into your back once more has you gasping and jumping, some cum spilling out your mouth and down your chest. As it travels between the valley of your breasts and over the perk nipples, Keiji takes it upon himself to lap at the milky droplets. You gulp down the rest in your mouth, making a show of it by tilting your head up, throat contracting as you swallow it all. Kōtarō finds himself unable to look away from the scene.

“Ah, seems like someone’s still raring to go,” Keiji breaks the silence, eyes glancing back to look at Kōtarō’s cock, once more standing tall and proud. He then looks to you. “Shall I let you handle this one alone?”

[writingtoforgetreality]

Sounds Of Someday - Little Movie Star Chapter One (Jensen Ackles x Daughter!Reader)

[Actors-Masterlist], [Little Movie Star-Masterlist]

Next Chapter

Summary: Growing up in a children’s home sucked. Big time. Multiple families had taken you in over the years but it always ended the same. You were done with trusting others. So when you found out that there was another family out there who had taken an interest in you, you prepared for the worst. You never thought you would find yourself in Austin, with the Ackles. 

Words: 2,328

Warnings: language, mentions of shitty childhood, angst (?), trust issues, story starts in 2016 (changes in future chapters, you’ll see), for the sake of this story, the twins weren’t born in December but earlier in 2016 (August), (Y/A) = your age IN 2016!!!

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

~2016~

Another boring day in your children’s home. You had been a constant part of it ever since you were born. Throughout the years, you were lucky enough to be sent to multiple foster families. In the end, you always ended back here & quite honestly, you were sick of it. By now, there were no other kids in your room anymore. Every now & then, there had been times where you got a roommate but it always seemed like they stayed for an extremely short time. Like, families wanted them & they had never given them back. You, on the other hand, did not have it that easy. Your file was filled with multiple homes & that usually was an indicator for misbehavior. Yet, you had never, not even once, done anything wrong. Just, your luck with families was not necessarily given. And that was one of the worst things a child could endure. Nobody wanted you. You were never good enough & you promised yourself that, no matter what the future might hold for you, you would never ever trust another family again. The outcome was always the same, why bothering?

“(Y/N)?” the door squeaked slightly & a man took a look inside. Bill. He was the only real friend you had ever had. Even though you were not quite sure if friend was the right word. He worked at the children’s home, after all. It was his job to take care of the kids here. Still, you liked him & you had a gut feeling that he was fond of you, too.

“Hey there, Billy Boy. What’s up?” you looked up from the book you were currently reading & raised your eyebrows in question when you saw him hesitating. Usually, he only ever came in when something had happened or when you had to be somewhere. Honestly, you did not care about the schedules you were given. Bill made sure you got everywhere on time & you did the chores you were assigned to do.

“Time to pack your bag. Your new family is waiting.” he tried everything to make his voice sound exciting but deep down he knew you despised the idea of having to go somewhere new. The past had not been particularly kind to you but he had a good feeling about these new people.

“Pleeeease tell me you’re kidding…” your head was thrown back out of frustration. Here we go again, you thought.

“Be outside in 10 minutes, we have a long drive ahead.” Bill shot you a sympathetic smile & you let out a groan. As much as you hated the thought of a new family, you knew better than to mess with the employees here. Getting up, you walked over to your closet & pulled your clothes out, throwing them into your suitcase without much care. There were not many things you owned to begin with so you were done in about five minutes. For the remainder of the time, you sat down on your bed & began overthinking. This situation was nothing new to you, yet you found yourself growing anxious. Why did you still care? They would give you back in no time so why worrying about stuff you could not change? Sighing, you got up, took your suitcase & walked outside to Bill’s car. He had already been waiting for you, leaning against one of the doors. No words were exchanged. His tight lipped smile showed you enough. Pity. You shot him a sarcastic smile back.

You were mad at everyone. Mad at Bill. Mad at your new family. Mad at your parents, who gave you up right after you were born. Mad at yourself. Bill had tried to start a conversation every now & then but you simply told him that you were tired & turned up the volume of the radio to distract your racing thoughts. Time went by slowly, you had no idea how long you had been in this car. All you knew was that your legs were getting tired. Wanting to ask Bill to stop for a while so you could walk around a bit, you were cut off by the car coming to a halt. Huh. Looked like Bill could read your thoughts. The area you guys stopped at was very wealthy, you could tell. The houses were massive & you definitely did not mind walking around the neighborhood for a couple of minutes.

“Where are we?” you could not help but ask. Maybe, if you ever had enough money, you would move to a neighborhood that looked similar to this one.

“Austin, Texas. Welcome home, (Y/N)?” his body turned towards you to wait for your reaction.

“Welcome home?” your eyes widened. “Don’t tell me I’ll live in one of those houses.” there was no way a family this rich would ever want you. Sure Bill had made a mistake & mixed up the addresses.

“I’m afraid you will. This one, to be exact.” he pointed to the one you were parked in front. “Come on, we’re late. They’re waiting for you.” Bill got out of the car & grabbed your suitcase out of the trunk. Right now, you were not sure what to think or what to feel. Surely, this was the biggest house you had ever been to & the fact that you were supposed to live in there? It kind of scared you. Because you were sure that these people expected certain manners from you. And you did not think you could live up to their expectations.

Bill led you to the front door, he was carrying your suitcase for you even though you had told him that you could handle your stuff just fine. He noticed your trembling hands so he simply wanted to help you out a little. Bill nudged your shoulder, signaling that you should be the one knocking. Taking a deep breath, you raised your hand & gently knocked. It was almost inaudible. Literally nobody in a house this big could have heard it. So to say you were surprised when the door opened almost immediately after, was an understatement. One shocking factor followed the other & you gasped when you saw THE Jensen & Danneel Ackles in front of you. Both of them smiled warmly at you & you wished you could have copied their actions but you were too stunned to move. Great, your first impression was awful. It could only get better, right? Bill talked to Jensen & Danneel briefly & before you had time to process what was happening, he hugged you goodbye. Leaving your suitcase standing right next to you & you alone with your new…family? As if the Ackles wanted you? This had to be a mistake. Maybe it was some sort of publicity stunt? It sure left a good impression to take in a foster kid. But if you were not mistaken completely, they had twins not too long ago? A few weeks, you believed.

“Hi, (Y/N), right?” the woman in front of you asked. She was absolutely gorgeous. A nod made her continue. “I’m Danneel & this is my husband Jensen. Wanna come in? It’s better we talk inside.” your eyes switched between her & Jensen & while Jensen had been quiet so far, his smile was convincing enough. Making a move to grab your suitcase, Jensen beat you to it & told you that he got it. You thanked him with a genuine smile. Stop it! Just because you had been a fan of theirs did not change your situation. Soon, they would realize that you were not worth their time & then Bill would come & get you again. Same old, same old.

They walked you to a beautiful couch & told you to have a seat, which you did. Immediately, your hands started rubbing over your thighs, something you did to calm your nerves. Did not seem to work today, though. Both, Jensen & Danneel, placed themselves at either side of you. Their smiles relaxed you a bit & you could feel your breath even out. There was something about their aura that had a calming effect on you.

“It’s a lot right now, I know.” Jensen started, your eyes met his & he continued. “But we’re glad you’re finally here. We’ve been waiting so long for you & the fact that you are now with us makes us incredibly happy.”

“You’ve been waiting for…me?” you were surprised that your voice was so steady.

“Well, you see, there is a lot of paperwork going on before you can actually take in a kid from a children’s home but that doesn’t matter now, you’re here.” Jensen patted your shoulder & you knew he only meant well but you could not help but flinch at his touch. Immediately, he retreated his hand & coughed to brush off the awkwardness. You felt sorry for him but you had never been a fan of physical touch. Simply because you had never really experienced it.

“I think we should show you your room & let you get settled in. What do you say, angel?” Danneel rescued Jensen & you were not quite sure if she was talking to you at first. Did she just call you angel? No one had ever given you a nickname. Smiling slightly, you nodded at her & followed both of them through their house. You wondered if you were staying here long enough to find your way in this labyrinth or if you were sent back before you had the chance to navigate through it yourself.

The three of you arrived in a hallway, a lot of doors on each side & you assumed that was where their kids had their rooms. They still had no idea that you actually knew a lot more about them that you first had shown. For example, that Supernatural had been your favorite show for the longest time. Your plan was to let them in on your little secret as soon as you were in your new room. At the very end of the hallway, & you had to admit, you had never seen such a pretty hallway in your life, Danneel opened the door & ushered you in. Looking around, you were mesmerized. The room was huge, you could not believe that it would all be yours to live in.

“You like it?” Jensen, who was standing in the doorway, asked you. Turning around, you nodded & smiled a little. A rush of overwhelming thoughts came crushing over you & you had to gulp for a second. Deep breaths, you got this. This was too much to ask for. All of a sudden, you felt like you did not deserve any of this. Certainly, you did not deserve to live with a family like the Ackles.

“I assume the kids are in the rooms next to mine?” asking before really thinking what you were about to say. When neither of them answered, you looked up & saw their expressions. Shit, this was not your plan. Knowing the questions were about to start, you quickly continued & explained yourself before things got even weirder.

“I mean, I know you guys have three other kids. A three-year-old & twins, only a couple of weeks old, right?” followed by a quiet chuckle, you hoped they were not regretting their decision of taking you in already.

“You know us?” Jensen came a little closer & took a seat on the comfortable looking bed that was perfectly placed in your room. Already, you could imagine yourself putting effort into decorations to make it look more like yourself, more homely. No, wait. No need to worry about that, you would be gone & then all of your effort would be for nothing.

“Supernatural is my favorite show.” slowly, you took a seat next to Jensen, not too close, there was still a good distance between you two.

“Perfect, now you finally have someone to talk about the show who isn’t Jared.” Danneel joked & crossed her arms over her chest. They seemed…fine with you being a fan? Huh, definitely unexpected. You thought they would throw you out right away.

“Great, so you already know a little bit about us. JJ will love you. She’s been dying to meet her big sis for weeks now.” he sounded genuine. Big sis. You had never been a big sister. Were you ready to take that role? Why did you feel so much pressure all of a sudden? Jensen stood up & walked over to Danneel who handed him a little wrapped box.

“Bill told us you don’t have a phone so this is a welcome gift from us.” gently, you took the box from him & gave him an uncertain look. Yet, your hands moved on their own & you were shocked when you saw what phone they had given you. The newest iPhone? What the fuck? You could not take it, it was too much.

“That’s…nice & all, thank you. But it’s really too much, I can’t-“ you got interrupted by Danneel.

“Sure, you can. We want you to be able to contact us at any time. We’ll leave you to it for now. Get settled in, dinner is at 6 pm. Remember the way to the kitchen?” you only nodded, at a loss for words. The door shutting was the last thing you heard before being left alone in complete silence. The voices in your head the only noise you could make out. Why could you not make them stop? Why could you not just enjoy this? They seemed nice. Like they were actually trying for you. Why did you have to let your past consume you? Silent tears flowed down your face. For a while, you just let yourself feel. Feel whatever emotion your body was experiencing right now. You were alone right now, might as well take advantage of it.

~to be continued~

Next Chapter 

Published (03/20/2021) by Cathy

Tags: @vicmc624, @imaginationisgrowth, @stoneyggirl, @alyispunk, @thevelvetseries, @multifandomlover121, @samsgirl93,, @supernatural3002, @diabetes-03, @prettybubblesintheair (let me know if you wanna be tagged <3)

[stillebesat]

Demon Comfort (3/3)

DECEMBER DRABBLES DAY 14  Sanders Sides: Logan, Virgil Blurb: Lurking under a Human’s bed should be downright dull for a Demon of Logan’s rank. And yet…he can’t help but be intrigued by his human charge. Fic Type: Demon!AU, Demon!Logan Overall Fic Warnings: Near Death Experiences, Freezing, Burning, Hazing Talk, Manipulation Taglist in reblog. To Catch Up: Part 1  Part 2 

He’d been staring at the pages of the book Virgil had brought for him for hours now, not taking in a single word written there. 

How could he when his charge was late. 

Logan tsked, tail tapping a staccato against the bed frame as he flipped the book shut, turning his head to glare at the door, doing his best to ignore the twisting in his chest the--the worry that he was feeling.  

Virgil could take care of himself. He knew that.

But after having to rescue his charge twice from life or death situations. It was...stressful, far more stressful than it should ever be, to wait for him to come back home from class. Especially since it was easily becoming clear that despite his craving for a fresh start, despite the fact that Logan had gone out and handily taken care of the six people responsible for nearly cooking his human in the boiler room, that Virgil still was not happy here.

Logan paused, tilting his head as he felt the first threads of the familiar thundercloud approaching. Finally. He relaxed when the bedroom door swung open, a black and purple backpack dropping to the floor a second later with a muted thud.

If it weren’t for the fact that he was trying to stick to the very last shreds of the rules of conduct between demon and human where he wouldn’t reveal himself unless Virgil called for him, Logan would have been out from under the bed in a flash demanding to know where in the world his charge had been and why he was only getting home now when Logan knew the boy had finished classes before lunch and had a mountain of unfinished final term papers to complete and--

Virgil dropped to his knees next to the bed, a purple blanket pooling at his feet. “Scoot over.” He said, not giving Logan a chance to react before shoving his way under the bed.

“Wha--WHY?!” He choked out in surprise. This wasn’t---Virgil had never indicated an interest in visiting him under here before. 

Yet as soon as he caught sight of his tear streaked face, Logan found himself automatically lifting one wing and shifting his position to hold out an arm so he could slip underneath, a hot spike of anger rising in his chest. Virgil didn’t cry. He didn’t--What had happened to his dark and broody charge?

Virgil didn’t hesitate, ducking under both wing and arm to curl up into his chest, his soft hair tickling Logan’s chin as the boy choked back a sob, clinging to him. “Ju--just hold me for a minute, okay?” He whispered.

Logan lowered his wing, easily hiding him from view as he tightened his grip around him, holding Virgil close as he ran gentle claws through his hair. “Of course.” He said, careful to keep his voice from echoing. 

He frowned up at the pitch black cloud that hung like an anvil over Virgil’s head, catching only glimpses of the past four hours of torture his charge had been through. Glimpses because Virgil’s thoughts were being slippery, his human not wanting him to know exactly what had gone wrong. Annoying that. He shouldn’t have admitted to being able to see and influence the boy’s thoughts. “You’re safe here.” He whispered, fighting the fury rising within him as Virgil broke down, hot tears dripping onto his chest. 

“I-I know. I ju-just--” He shuddered. “I hate this place.” 

Logan blinked. Huh? How was that--just this morning his charge had once again shrugged off the light meddling that he’d done to the tangle of thoughts over his head to try and convince him to leave! Yet Virgil had been firm in stating that he was fine here. 

Obviously he wasn’t doing so fine if he hated being here. 

Logan ran his claws through Virgil’s hair, observing those twisting thoughts with no intention of meddling at the moment. 

No, he was seeking to understand why the sudden change of heart when nothing he had suggested had worked. “We both do. Why do you think I’ve been trying to convince you to leave?” The cold for one was getting tiresome. Spring should be bringing warmer temperatures and yet up here in the north it hardly felt like they’d come out of winter at all.

“I just--” The dark cloud over his head seemed to grow darker. “I just...wanted it to change you know? How can I be a thousand miles away from my old life, and yet everyone here still treats me like I’m the scum of the earth? I just--I just...wish someone here besides you would like me. You know? Where I could just--relax and not constantly be worrying if I’m secretly hated and they’re gonna try and--and--”

“Lock you in the janitor’s closet?” Logan asked, his chest rumbling with a suppressed growl as he finally found the thread leading to the event that Virgil had been trying to hide from him.

Even with him drastically reducing his meddling with Virgil’s thoughts, it seemed like his charge really couldn’t catch a break here. Especially if this--this freshman hazing kept up. Even if Virgil kept insisting that it was nothing and that his...peers’…antics should stay unreported to the police--not that that hadn’t stopped Logan from going off and enacting his own little revenge on the people that had threatened his human’s life--it would only be a matter of time before he would need to guard his charge twenty-four seven to keep him safe. To keep him alive. 

That was no way for a human to live. A demon’s guardianship was hardly a good guardianship after all.

Virgil gave a bitter laugh, thoughts swirling, giving Logan glimpses of the faces of the new people torturing his charge. 

It was a bittersweet realization that. Sure he was proud his ability to terrorize others hadn’t been dulled with this...softening towards this one particular human, but if getting rid of the one batch of rotten eggs only encouraged another group to take up the calling to make Virgil’s life miserable---

“They took my backpack this time.” He whispered, resting his head against Logan’s chest. “I had to MacGyver a way to melt the hinges off the door with chemicals from the closet before I could escape. Then it took me another hour to track down where they’d thrown my bag--at least I found it.” 

Was that supposed to be reassuring? That this time, he’d managed to get free by himself? If it was...it didn’t make Logan feel any better. Not when it left his charge in tears. 

Not when it left him wondering what would have happened if Virgil hadn’t managed to MacGyver-whatever that meant- his way out of his predicament. Just how long would it have been before Logan would have realized he wasn’t coming back? That he needed help? It just--that ache that--that worry in his chest only grew stronger at the thought. 

Honestly, he didn’t understand most human devices, but if he needed to obtain a freaking cell phone and enchant it so that Virgil would always be able to contact him he would. The hassle would be worth it if it meant his charge would remain safe. That at the first sign of trouble Virgil could call for help and immediately receive it.

Better than leaving him wondering if Logan would find him in time. If he’d--- He exhaled. “I know it won’t mean much coming from me.” He whispered, committing to memory the faces of the people he needed to go take care of next, all too aware of how much he, himself, had contributed to his charge’s woes while here. “But you don’t deserve this.”

Virgil let out a shaky breath, the dark cloud swirling over his head shifting to a lighter grey as he looked up meeting Logan’s slitted eyes. “I want to make a deal.” 

He blinked, ignoring how his hearts leapt at the words every demon craved to hear at the unexpected phrase. “No you don’t.” 

Virgil set his jaw, eyes unwavering. “I do.”

Logan frowned, fighting the desire to break eye contact to see what the twisting threads of thought were leading to. To find out why Virgil was requesting this now. No, it was best to hear it straight from the human himself. 

He let out a slow breath. Knowing his charge, his reasoning would be convoluted and yet still make perfect sense. “I’m willing to hear you out, but I do not agree to agree to anything beyond that. You’ve already dealt with enough trouble in your life without adding a demonic deal to it.” 

Virgil gave a wobbly smirk, hardly fazed as he tapped Logan’s chest with a single finger. “Your side.” He said. “You want me to move elsewhere. Want me to go to a different school. Someplace warmer. Safer.” 

Logan gave a slow nod. “Yes?” Though wasn’t this deal supposed to be about what the human wanted to get instead of the demon?  

“Then I’ll agree to moving. Even let you pick the school and the place I’ll stay at IF.” He stressed the word again tapping Logan’s chest. “You agree to three things first.” 

Three things in exchange for one of safety? Typical human. He narrowed his eyes, tail tapping against the floorboards. “And those are?” 

“One. You stop hiding under my bed like an overgrown dust bunny. Two. You become my roommate and go to the school you’ve chosen with me--don’t give me that look.” 

Logan growled, tail dancing back and forth against the wall. He would give out all the looks he wanted thank you very much. Because that was---okay being out from under the bed would be wonderful but be a roommate?! “I can’t replace your need for human interaction and companionship, Virgil.”

Sure, it did make a nice loophole that his superiors couldn’t argue against because the human had requested his near-constant presence in this deal. But it couldn’t work. Demons and Humans weren’t meant to be roommates. It was hardly a healthy relationship when Logan had the ability to manipulate Virgil’s thoughts! Plus! Figuring out an adequate human disguise to uphold all hours of the day in order to go to school would be a nightmare and a half with the rituals and the charm work involved to hide his demonic looks.  

“Three.” Virgil continued, ignoring Logan’s outburst, the cloud above his head shifting closer to white as he grew more fond of how this deal was turning out. “You pick out our other roommate or roommates. Ones who know you are a demon so you won’t have to disguise yourself when you’re home.”  

That was---huh. So he’d only have to look human while in public? Logan tsked, claws carefully brushing Virgil’s tear streaked cheeks, his wings quivering with the urge to agree to this--this foolhardiness as his mind raced to find any downsides for his end of this deal. For any loopholes to exploit despite him not wanting to do anything of the sort to Virgil. Not when his charge was finally finally willing to move away from this awful place.

Except there was one problem. The humans.

“Most humans who willingly interact with demons are not the sort of individuals I would trust to room with you.” He said, shaking his head. His goal was to keep Virgil safe. Not set him up for further attempts on his life.

Virgil raised an eyebrow, eyes glinting. “I specifically said those who know you are a demon, Lo. That doesn’t have to mean they’ve interacted with others.” 

Clever. “But I don’t interact with other humans!” If he hadn’t broken the rules, Virgil would never be having this conversation with him in the first place because he wouldn’t know Logan existed. “Demons don’t interact with humans unless they are summoned. How am I--!”

“I never summoned you though. And yet here we are.” 

Logan had to look away at that. Avoid staring at the positively smug face his charge was giving him. “That’s different.” He finally muttered. Most demons didn’t care what happened to the humans they dealt with. Logan was an outlier in that sense. Sent to lurk under a bed as punishment and instead found that he liked it even if Virgil’s stubborn nature drove him up the wall most of the time. 

“Different because you were hiding under my bed for who knows how long?” 

He grimaced. It hadn’t even been a year yet. Not that long at all in human terms. “In a way.” 

He flinched as Virgil placed a palm against his cheek, turning his head back to face him. “You were the monster under my bed until you decided I needed a Guardian instead.” He said softly. “Why can’t you go find another human whose needs are similar to mine? Find someone we both can get along with. And once you do, I’ll move wherever you want me to for school. Those are my terms.” 

Logan hardly cared if another human liked him. He was a demon. Humans were supposed to fear his kind. But Virgil? His human needed a good roommate. One that would want to be around him, unlike Virgil’s current set that barely acknowledged his existence unless it was his turn to take out the trash. However, if he was out hunting for this good roommate…that would mean--

“I can hardly be considered a Guardian if you’re left defenseless while I’m off searching who knows where for who knows how long for this hypothetical person!” Logan retorted. “You would have to allow me to establish a means to ensure you’re safe while I am gone or that you could summon me if you find yourself in danger before I would even consider--” 

“What sort of thing?” 

Logan frowned. Was the stress of three near death attempts addling his charge’s mind? Perhaps the air underneath the bed was’t flowing properly--he shifted, teleporting them both onto Virgil’s bed where he could have this conversation in a more proper format. After all, humans didn’t usually make deals under their beds. Though it probably was too much to expect his charge to draw a sigil on the floor. Not if he wanted his deposit back. 

He kept a wing securely around Virgil as the human adjusted his position to rest more comfortably against him, a move that should be more counter-intuitive despite Logan’s proclamations of keeping him safe. There was too much trust here. Virgil had hardly done more than sharply inhale at them suddenly appearing on top of his bed.

“So?” He asked once he was comfortable, fingers brushing against the inside of Logan’s wing. “What sort of thing were you thinking?” 

Logan shrugged a shoulder, trying to not focus on how relaxed Virgil was with him. “...I was considering a cell phone.” 

The laugh his charge let out shouldn’t make his hearts flutter so.

Virgil grinned, shaking his head, the storm cloud above him glittering brightly despite it’s shifting state. “That’s so...human, Lo. But what if it dies? What if I get mine taken away? They’re hardly reliable despite how much I use mine. Isn’t there a sort of…” He waved a hand around. “Sigil or spell or mark? Something that you can place on me?” 

Yes. But--

Before he could speak his charge ducked out from under his wing, grabbing at his backpack on the floor and digging into it. “I could draw something on me.” He offered, pulling out a pen. “And then you enchant it or whatever to--are you okay?”

That was---ha. Logan swallowed, wings shifting back as he looked his human in the eyes. “That is...it’s not a light commitment to make, Virgil.” He finally answered. “You shouldn’t allow any demon, let alone me--” Despite how much he desperately wanted it. It would be so much easier to ensure he could protect Virgil than using a cell phone. “--to mark you so. I doubt you want a permanent connection to me and a sigil once placed on living flesh cannot easily be removed.” 

Virgil tapped his pen against his lips, tilting his head as he silently studied Logan. 

His tail twisted at the scrutiny. “It’s too much of a risk.” He repeated, holding his hands palm up. “You have no guarantee that I will remain a...Guardian to you.” Though at this point he couldn’t see him being anything else. “I am a Demon. It’s not in our nature to--”

He cut off as Virgil reached out, resting his hands in Logan’s clawed ones, gently squeezing them. “Lo.” 

His hearts skipped a beat at the nickname. Gah. If Virgil ever figured out how being called Lo truly affected him, far more than any deal would, he would be completely done for--he flinched, inhaling sharply as a purplish glow appeared, covering both of their hands as his charge gave a small smirk. 

“You’ve saved my life twice now.” He said softly, leaning forward, unfazed by the glow. 

Though of course Virgil would have no idea that this wasn’t normal, not when Logan hadn’t done anything! 

“That’s hardly a demon’s nature now is it? To save someone? Someone who made no deal to gain such protection?” 

….No. It wasn’t normal. He knew that. He-- Logan made a sound in his throat as the purplish glow shifted between them winding like a ribbon around their wrists. He eyed it warily, it was a sign, despite the fact that the glowing ribbon should be red instead of purple, that a deal was being struck though Logan had made no active attempt to initiate one. Hadn’t wanted--

“You’re no ordinary demon, Lo.” 

No...he wasn’t much like the others was he? Interacting with humans...a human...with Virgil willingly without being compelled to. To want to protect his charge, seeking to help him instead of...well...continuing to make him suffer. 

“If you don’t want the mark on me to be permanent then make it temporary.” Virgil said, maintaining eye contact. “Make it last as long as you need it to. But I know you know you want to know I’m okay. Is this not a good way to go about it?”  

His breath caught in his throat. There was too much trust in him here. Far too much. Virgil didn’t know what he was getting into. He couldn’t--it wasn’t safe. “I don’t--” Logan swallowed, fingers trembling in Virgil’s hands as the ribbon pulsed around them. “A demonic deal is never safe.” He couldn’t risk his charge like this. Something would go wrong. It wasn’t worth it. “I don’t want to make this type of deal. Any deal with you.” He whispered, wings fluttering with heat as he broke eye contact, bowing his head to his charge. 

“Lo?” Virgil adjusted his grip, squeezing his hands.  

He shuddered, eyes burning despite his inability to shed tears, his hearts pounding like the drums of war as he clung to those hands, careful always careful so that his claws wouldn’t pierce his delicate flesh, wouldn’t draw blood to seal whatever deal this purple ribbon was trying to instigate. He couldn’t hurt him. 

“It’s not proper.” He said softly. “A demon shouldn’t care about this. A demon would just say yes. But I can’t. Because I do. I care. I just want you safe, Virgil. Protected. Happy. A deal won’t-- I can’t---a demon can’t--” 

“Perhaps.” Virgil tilted his head, peering up into Logan’s slitted eyes. “You should stop thinking of yourself as a demon then.”

He blinked, wings drawing back as the purple ribbon pulsed. “What?” But that--that’s what he was. Sure, he wasn’t acting like one currently, but no one would look at him and think he was anything else.

“Well...you’ve already said it yourself, haven’t you? Starting back when I nearly froze to death. What you really are.” 

He’d said a lot of--Wait. Logan looked up, barely able to breathe from how tight his chest felt. “You...remember that time?” 

Virgil shook his head. “Not all of it. But I do remember one thing, Lo.” He grinned, eyes glittering as the purple ribbon flashed a brilliant indigo, the bright warm light washing over Logan before he could blink.  

“You’re a Guardian. My Guardian.” End.

[meichenxi]

Not going to China + restarting French and German: life update

Hi everyone! 

I’ve been alluding to this all over the place, but I’ll sit down now and explain things properly. I’ve had some bad news recently that means essentially that I can’t go to China, and that the money I have put into paperwork for the visa (upwards of £3000) I can’t get back. Everything that has happened is complicated and I really don’t feel like explaining it all again but basically: there have been policy changes in the Chinese government, I potentially wouldn’t be able to get my work permit until December, it could be even longer, and the visa could take another two months. 

I can’t just wait around for another six months in the hope that something will change. I’ve already been waiting since June. I need a job, and I need to leave my living situation, and I need money.

I thought about trying to apply for a study visa, but the truth is I just can’t face another few months of waiting and planning and uncertainty. So I’m instead going to find a job in the UK and move in with my girlfriend. This could be an amazing opportunity for us to live together, and it could also be wildly demotivating and upsetting to settle for a job I’m not sure I want in a tiny apartment, constantly living with Covid fears - realistically it will be both. 

I’m sad that all of the work I’ve put in has come to nothing - I’m sad that I’ve lost money I could have otherwise spent on things to improve my and other’s quality of life - and I’m upset most of all that I can’t go to China right now. I had been working towards this for a very long time, and waiting since June at home, doing nothing, when I could have had a job. 

But. Onwards and upwards. I’ve already applied to lots of jobs, and I’m sure some of them will want me! I’m going to continue with Chinese, and I’ve contacted the local Chinese schools to see if there are any events or classes I can take part in. And I am going to continue with Chinese, but with a focus I think on teaching myself more about its linguistic history. 

I’m not giving up on China. I’ll go back when Covid is over. But at the moment there’s just too much uncertainty, and things need to change. 

More excitingly, however, I am going to have to start properly picking up German and French again (sigh, I know, tragically it is my second best language even if I don’t like it as much). It’s incredibly frustrating searching for jobs that will help me use my languages, only to find that my French especially isn’t quite good enough to be used in a board room. So that’s something which needs to change, especially if I want a job in the charity sector - French will be very necessary for that. I could also choose Spanish, but my girlfriend speaks excellent French and I’d have the opportunity to practice with her. 

So what will happen to this blog?

With all of this change, I’m going to take a little break from how intensively I’ve been studying Chinese. I’ll carry on, I just need to give myself a little bit of time to - well, to be sad. I never want it to become a chore, because it’s a language I love so very much, so I don’t want to ‘push through’. Over the next month I’m going to focus more on German again, and I need to work out how I’m going to start learning French again too, and then I’ll cycle back around to Chinese. It might sound a lot to do three languages at once, but bear in mind I have B2 production and C1 comprehension in French, and C1 production and C2 comprehension in German - so there’s no hardcore grammar to learn, just vocab, and mainly focusing on reactivating them. It’s been a few years since I’ve spoken French especially.

My motivation for this is very strong, and simply: I don’t want to be stuck stacking shelves. I want a job where I can use my languages, and where they are good enough for that. Chinese eventually - but that will take a little more time. 

I’m going to take a little break from this blog, maybe a month or so, to deal with real life and put things in order. But I have a lot of plans for new content, so this is not disappearing - I just need some real life time!!! I have received your asks, and I’m going to work on those too. 

In the mean time: keep learning, and keep adding oil!!

- meichenxi

[creativeashproductions]

Mountains and Lessons // Luke Patterson

Summary: A bucket list item Reggie had had was to experience a white Christmas. He ended up dying before hand and his opportunity brings up. All Luke wants is music and warmth, not stuck on a stupid mountain in cold Colorado. Alex is excited to get out of Californai for once.

Warning: Swearing, death, angst, Christmas themed but not Christmas and fluff

Words: 4.9k

A/N: Breaks my heart that Reggie potentially never got to experience making snow angels, snow people and join a snowball fight. But my theme appears to be angst so there’s that as well.

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Masterlist

Julie had a structured routine and schedule she liked to follow in her life, not strict but definitely a guideline. Monday to Friday, like ever minor, spent the majority of the time in a classroom. After school, she would return home straight to the kitchen for a quick snack before spreading her homework on the kitchen island. The homework was typically one hour before Julie would head out to the studio for band rehearsal.

Flynn, as the band manager, had declared Friday’s to be band free just so that Julie and Flynn could hang out. Saturday’s consisted of morning band practice, the early afternoon had a songwriting session with Luke. In the late evening after an early supper, the band would head to the gig they had gotten. Sunday’s however were strictly days off from the band no matter what, the boys would go their own ways for the day as well.

Today, for the young teenager was a Friday but Flynn had strep throat confining herself to her house. No visitors and her electronics taken away to get rest. It was incredibly dull, and no one wanted to go against Flynn’s words because she could be scary.

Julie had done her homework, did her chores, revised a new song, started a new book and added more doodles to her shoes. Now she was laying on her bed staring at the ceiling with her headphones in.

“Julie?” Ray spoke from her open bedroom door. The man received no reaction with his daughter’s head in the clouds, “Julie? I need to talk to you.”

Ray walked over to his daughter to tug the bud out of her left ear bringing the girl back down to land. The teenager sat up to look at her father.

“What’s up?”

“Can you meet me in the living room?” Ray’s blue eyes crinkled at the corners from the many laughs he had shared in his lifetime. While she was confused, Julie proceeded to follow her father down to the lively decorated room.

Carlos had already been corralled to the living room couch listlessly staring in the distance with no iPad on his person. The lack of electronic was a red flag to the musician, the girl settled on the couch while Ray shifted things on the coffee table.

Once settled on the wood coffee table, he focused on his children, “We’ve always discussed big decisions in our family. We had an open discussion of retracting our initial decision to move.”

“Is this about my bed? I can clean it! I will-“

“Carlos! This isn’t about under your bed, we do need to have a conversation about that young man.” Carlos pointed one finger in Carlos’ direction before addressing the situation, “This year is the first year we’ll celebrate Christmas without…”

“Mom.” Both Carlos and Julie murmured slumping down at the stifling reminder of the loss the Molina’s had suffered.

Julie clenched her jaw, forcing the grief down as her hand crept over to hold Carlos’ hand in comfort. The glittering of his eyes and the gnawing on his lower lip dead giveaways he was losing the battle with sadness. Ever since Julie was a kid, she had always been there for Carlos, not saying they didn’t fight. Evidence as Carlos’ requesting a normal sister.

“It’s going to be different. I got offered an excellent contract by a ski resort, we could potentially renovate the bathroom.” Ray’s eyebrows came together as the touchy topic came about.

After Rose died, it had dented the Molina’s financials with the loss of income, the money didn’t matter compared to the person. When the sun shone through the dark clouds, it had affected the way the Molina’s had to live. Of course, the Molina’s had it better than most with a house over their head and food on the table.

Ray just wanted the best for his kids.

“We could build snowmen?” Carlos gleefully exclaimed beaming at the sheer image of seeing snow in person.

“That’s the thing. The ski resort hosts a handful of parties by companies and clients. The contract is photographing the events for their website. All expenses paid and it could open doors to more clients.”

The idea tore Julie in half. Not decorating the tree with her family, Tia Victoria’s tamales that changed every year and carolling with her friends. A lot of traditions wouldn’t happen that had been constant for the Molina family. New Year Eve’s movie night with Flynn wouldn’t happen; the two girls exchanged wrapped Christmas pyjamas to wear.

On the other hand, the new scenery would distract Julie from the broken Christmas holiday without Mom. Julie always wanted to experience a white Christmas for the snow angels, the snowmen, spontaneous snowball fights, sledding and hot cocoa to warm up after the cold.

In the end, it was the glee on Carlos’ face and the excitement on her father’s that had her caving.

“Let’s do it.” Julie faked her enthusiasm before excusing herself from the conversation of Carlos’ disgusting bedroom.

The young teenager shuffled her way to the studio yearning for the piano to cheer herself up. Typically discovering the guys playing music alone infuriated the girl but at the moment she just wanted to mourn the change of Christmas.

“Hey!” Reggie spoke with a bright grin at the moping teenager. At the lack of reaction, his grin faltered, “Julie?”

Luke’s guitar solo came to an abrupt halt seeing the forlorn girl slumping on the piano bench staring listlessly at the ivory keys. The melancholy aura gave the boys a sick feeling in their bellies, Luke wondered if her grades weren’t at Ray’s standard. Alex wondered if she had a fight with Flynn and Reggie just wanted to hug her.

Reggie did so. His arms wrapped around her shoulders in comfort, and he thanked whatever deity there was at finally being able to hug her. After Caleb and the weird situation, the OG Sunset Curve turned into glow sticks touch had become prevalent. Reggie had a secret handshake with Julie. When Alex got overwhelmed over his anxiety escalated, he would braid Julie’s hair and play with her fingers; when this happened, she never physically touched him unless he asked. Luke was a different story.

Luke’s love language is obviously physical affection, he would hug the living girl, gives high fives, grasp her hand to squeeze it. He’d also sit as close as possible for their legs to touch. It was a way for Luke to feel real.

“What’s wrong, Jay?” Alex asked, approaching the piano to heave himself on top of it. His concerned blue eyes on the teenager.

“This is the first Christmas without my Mom.” She revealed, the desolation drawing Luke to be closer to his friends.

If the boys’ had beating hearts, they would have stuttered and shattered, seeing the sorrow overflow in Julie’s eyes. In a short time, they had spent with her since the first night they had come to care about each other immensely.

 “I’m so sorry,” Alex spoke scootching closer to lay his hand on the limp hand resting on the piano top. The smile of thanks warming the drummer inside.

“Dad got this perfect job at a ski resort. It’s good money, and Carlos is excited. I don’t want to spend Christmas somewhere else. I want to be here; I want to go carolling with you guys. I want New Year’s Eve movie night with Flynn, I want to fight Carlos on who gets to put the star on the tree. I want to bake cookie.” Julie broke, “Sure a white Christmas would be cool, but this is home.”

 “It’s not about where you celebrate. It’s about who you celebrate with Jules.” Luke quietly spoke up physically with them but mentally elsewhere.

His mind returned to the night in December that irrevocably altered his relationship with his parents’. He had tainted Christmas for himself and his family when he stormed out never to return. He would give anything to spend a Christmas, a birthday, or even a Mother’s Day with his parents just one more time. A consolation to the guitarist was easing his parents’ pain with Unsaid Emily.

“You’ll get to build snowmen?” Reggie questioned pouting at his lifer friend who giggled at his look of betrayal, “I was going to spend Christmas at my uncle’s place in Washington before we died.”

Reggie’s words didn’t change the sombre atmosphere, but it did flip a switch in Julie’s mind. Julie could create new traditions with her new family as well.

“We’ll get to build snowmen.”

“How? We’ll be here. You’ll be wherever the resort it.” Reggie interjected with a twisted smile at Julie’s words. The young girl rolled her eyes at him, “We can’t crash your family vacation. It’s Christmas.”

“Reg, you wouldn’t be ‘crashing’ the family vacation. You three are part of my family.” Julie’s words had to be the most touching thing the boys had heard in years, both the twenty-five dead and from 1990-1995.

“I’m so excited!” Reggie beamed, “I have to go, thank Ray!”

With that, the ghostly teenager disappeared in a bright ball of light to the house where Ray was most likely accepting the job. While Luke and Reggie didn’t know boundaries, they sure could make things better for their friends.

The giggle came from the girl bundled up in layers tossed a packed ball of snow at the enemy behind the other snow fort. The sharp laugh of her opponents warming you up more than hot cocoa, well the layers were unnecessary. But, what’s winter without the bundled up outer clothing.

“Surrender!” You called out throwing the new ball high with the hope it would land on the other person. It hit the top of the wall instead.

Lucy was just about to return fire with one of her pre-made snow weapons when the resort’s main building front door opened. Backlit by the lights giving a heavenly glow was a woman of average height. Greying hair scooped up in an elegant style, and thick clothing stood Lucy’s mom.

Your heart clenched at the visible sadness on the woman’s face as her eyes found the mountain in the distance. It had been a constant in the last seven years of the year-round residents and the plaque on the property. Lucy’s family had never properly healed from the tragic event, but they also could bear to leave the place either.

Fox & Hare Ski Resort had been in the ownership of the same family for over a hundred years, a place of happiness. A place where Lucy had loved as a massive fan of skiing and wintertime, Lucy was excited for this year the most. It was Lucy’s third year of lessons with a very well respected and highly sought out trainer.

“Bye!” Lucy spoke to the now standing young adult. Her little feet dashing to the main building for supper with her parents.

Your eyes found the parking lot as a car pulled up to one the spaces reserved for staff; his looks matched the temporary photographer. With him was a young boy and a teenage girl about your own age. All bundled up for the cold climate, but you were most surprised at the sudden appearance of three males.

They had to ghosts. If the teleporting wasn’t obvious enough, it was the lack of warm clothes. For God’s sake, one of them didn’t even have sleeves.

“Hm interesting.” You hummed scrutinizing the trio following the other three aimlessly to the building. You pegged them as about your age with a very vintage style in both fashion and hairstyles.

The luggage clicked on each transition to another board on the porch ramp for accessibility a welcome sound. Just another daily occurrence that brought peace to the individual. Unable to hold yourself back, you quickly scooped up three snowballs.

The first hit the taller boy in the back of the head. When his head swivelled, he couldn’t see the person that did it. Shaking it off, he turned back to view the mountain. Sprinting to the vast sea of trees you stopped halfway to chuck the second snowball. It hit the guy in the leather jacket.

You ducked behind the tree when he loudly protested the sudden attack. With a wicked grin, you went to send the third one before you yelped.

“Nu-uh.” The sudden voice spoke clicking his tongue. Slowly turning you saw the last boy staring you down, “You should have left Reggie for last. He’s very loud, he’s a personal alarm.”

Your mouth opened as the other two appeared, “I’ve never had a snowball fight before!”

You took a guess that was Reggie.

“I’m Y/N.” You spoke holding out for hand for the three to shake. They each introduced themselves; your first hit was Alex, the second was Reggie, and the failed hit was Luke.

“What brings you to Colorado?” You asked shoving your hands in your snow pants bouncing on the heels of your feet. The crunch of snow under them unfamiliar to the trio.

“Our band member is staying here for two weeks. Her dad got a photography gig.” Alex spoke, scanning the area, “So, are you a ghost?”

“I’m a tour guide and area expert.” You beamed revealing a big smile to the three guys standing in the powdered snow.

The cheery light in your eyes, easing the ghosts in the unfamiliar landscape, each a juxtaposition to the climate. Nodding towards the rental shop, you guided them into the average-sized building for the necessary winter wear. Seasoned with your background working in the shop, you quickly grabbed items that wouldn’t be noticed for them.

“We don’t nee-“

“Gotta live the experience. I used to work in here, so I’ve taken the liberty to group your gear. Alex, you have light blue and pink. Reggie red and black leaving the dark blue for Luke.”

You wore a seafoam green ski jacket and matching snow pants paired with the trusty black boots. While the boys dressed in the clothing you chose, you collected your things as well. As soon as they finished, they turned to see you had a snowboard lilac to the dark purple-black gradient. On the top of the board in the middle had a moon with the white foam of the ocean. On the lilac background, the deep purple cut the moon in half, the deep purple background had the lilac moon half. The black had a rough outline of a circle similar to the moon on the front with BURTON in the ring.

“I had a different board.” Your smile faltered, remembering the beautiful board your parents had gotten you for your birthday.

“What happened to it?” Luke questioned scanning the room for the board.

“It snapped in half.” You stated practically skipping out the door, “C’mon! I wanna teach you how to kill it on the mountain! Have you ever done this? Skiing or snowboarding?”

“Neither,” Alex spoke glancing around the area as you led them to the Gondola lifts that brought people to the top of the mountain. This one specifically for the beginner levels perfect for the three new friends, “We’re born and bred in California, never got the opportunity to travel outside the state.

“Well, I’ll try my very best to give you a good experience on the mountain..”

Once released from the Gondola, you jogged to the side giggling at the sight of them struggling to walk in the heavy boots. Near the Gondola, the area was the shift ski patrol building with the heated bathroom. The building along with the bench had been a new addition a few years ago. It never failed to halt you to stare at it for a handful of seconds.

“Okay, so we’ll start with the basics.” You announced clapping your hands together in the thick mittens.

Alex picked up the activity naturally with confidence and calmness he couldn’t even remember last feeling. He had to focus on his movements and directions, giving him a welcomed break from his overthinking. Luke had started his angry pout with his accurate portrayal of newborn Bambi.

“I’m just going to take a break,” Luke muttered wheezing from his sudden position staring at the sky. Taking pity on the Californian boy, you pressed the release function on his boots.

“I think Reggie’s at the ski patrol building.” You called to the boy with the fringe sulking in the direction of Reggie. It left you with Alex learning new hacks to the board.

“This is fun!” Alex shouted, raising his mouth to the sky, “Ooh Willie would love yelling up here.”

“Ghost?” You asked, receiving a nod in response, taking the time to sit down with your knees raised—the board on the edge still connected to your boots.

Alex flailed as he copied you taking in the sunset, backlight the buildings slowly turning their nights one at a time. The large main building would have a fire for everyone with supplied hot cocoa. Tomorrow the mountain would be less populated with the first of many Christmas parties. The crisp air welcomed high above the buildings you felt peace.

“Is it safe to get off the mountain at night?” Alex asked, hugging his knees to his chest, tilting his head to look at your profile.

The smile was small but warm on the girls face as Alex took in her features that had a particular contentness that is hard to attain. Alex could see in Luke when he finished a song he would deem his best work before the next song. Or Reggie at a beach bonfire with the ocean crashing faintly behind Luke’s acoustic guitar.

“Yeah.” You replied smoothly removing your board from your boots to carry it to where Luke and Reggie were. You backtracked to ensure Alex released his boots; his fast learning evident when he stood with a proud smile.

Alex and you both surveyed the area for any lost items or gear you may have forgotten about, coming up clear you continued walking. Reggie and Luke were laughing with their skiis neatly put aside. Hands locked in a fierce game of rock, paper, scissors they looked childlike and untouched by life’s hard teachings.

“I’ll put my board in the Gondola. Be right back!” You called over your shoulder. Alex looked over his shoulder to reply, but the space was empty.

“She moves fast,” Alex muttered shaking it off to jog closer to the boys. He was close to sitting down on the bench when it caught his attention.

“Whoa. That’s nasty.” Alex spoke, gaining his bandmates attention to the bench they had overlooked.

The bench was made out of two snowboards in stone and wood combinations with a gorgeous design. Pieces of the snowboard made to look like a nearly finished puzzle—a plaque on a thick post behind it.

“For the girl who changed the sport for women. Fast like a fox, as graceful as a swan, may you guide lost souls to safety.” Reggie read off the plaque. Luke’s fingers went to brush the ice and snow clouding the picture above the words.

“You guys coming?” You yelled from a distance startling all three intrigued teenage ghosts. Their eyes glanced at the edge of the board in the picture that matched the bench.

“Thanks for that by the way,” Luke spoke gesturing to the area as the Gondola moved down the mountain. His eyes greener in the dimly lit enclosure that shadowed your flustered features at the sole attention.

“I’m on the mountain every day. It was fun talking with people my age.” You informed them pleased to sit in the silence. The three took in the sunset from the height with no buildings blocking the view, “If you can’t find me, I’ll be on the mountain.”

Once back on the bottom of the mountain, the four teenagers snuck the equipment in your personal shack to dry and keep hidden for future lessons. The three guys bid farewell to find Julie in the large cabin, each with beaming smiles and stories to tell the girl.

“Where’ve you guys been?” Julie asked the ghosts in the tucked-away corner near the massive fire ceasing her scribbling to look at them, “Usually I can’t shake you. I had to sit through a safety talk by the director for the mountain.”

“This wicked girl taught us how to snowboard! She’s so cool, Julie. There’s this passion in her when we got on the mountain. The passion that we all have for music!” Luke gushed, breaking his cool guy personality, “She’s so patient.”

“What’s her name?” Julie laughed, getting a first-hand look at Luke all crushed out on someone. His cheeks a rosy pink and soft eyes it amused Julie just imagining the number of love songs he would pen.

“Y/N.” Luke sighed slouching against the wall, “She’s so pretty.”

“-once more, I ask that you check every morning and afternoon for weather conditions, the local Avalanche Information Center website and be aware of our maps for potential avalanche areas. We have a live app that gives updates as well. Just a reminder that I’m Susan and you can also have the ski patrol contact me for further information. Enjoy your stay!” Susan called out gracefully cutting through the crowd to Lucy falling asleep in her chair.

”I heard some lady talking to her friends that the safety regulations and rules increased after an avalanche killed someone. I didn’t catch the name, but it took weeks before they found the bodies, they found the board in a few days.” Julie supplied with a half-smile at another reminder of death.

The three boys had a moment of clarity. They put the pieces together that the bench made of the boards was in memory of the person who died. It was a bitter moment of potentially standing where a person tragically killed with no warning.

“Anyway, I have to meet Dad and Carlos in the room. Have to video call Tía as her stressed wishes for not being home.” Julie sighed, pushing her feet into the slippers, she left the dino ones at home, she had grabbed from the room.

A few days into the Molina’s white Christmas it had been a charming morning thus far. The guys had done a songwriting session for most of the morning. Luke’s eyes continued to scan the room for you as he had since the first day. He had yet to see you inside, if the ghostly trio wasn’t on the mountain with you, then you were playing with Lucy.

 Julie and the Phantoms had retreated to the suite the Molina’s had been assigned when the weather looked questionable. Most of the tourists had either stayed in their rooms, cabins or in the main building. It led to Julie taking the session to the privacy of the suite to avoid looking like a crazy person.

“I need to stretch. Walk?” Reggie asked, gaining different sounds of agreement from the band.

The four individuals walked to the main lounging area where a crowd formed around the makeshift stage. On it was Susan shaking in her husband’s arms.

“Please, has anyone seen Lucy?” Susan sobbed, “She’s ten years old. She’s got blue eyes, ginger hair and she’s small for her age.”

Julie joined her father near the crowd, where he swiftly brought his eldest child into his arms with Carlos. Ray’s heart clenched at the thought of his kids going missing like the owner of Fox & Hare owners.

“Dad’s what’s going on?” Julie questioned viewing the blownup picture of a little girl, the perfect split of her parents.

“Susan Fox’s daughter Lucy didn’t show up for breakfast. They thought she was playing just outside the building. No one has seen her. There have been warnings of avalanches, and the mountain was closed twenty minutes ago. ” Ray told his daughter squeezing her once more cementing his gaze on the couple, “It’s devastating to them.”

“Why?” Julie questioned for the concerned ghostly trio at her side.

“A few years ago, Susan and her husband closed the resort for a few months. They completely gutted their regulations and worked closely with avalanche experts. They upgraded the area for increased safety and reworked the rules and regulations.”

 “What does it have to do with Lucy?” The Puerto Rican girl questioned furrowing her brow in the same way her mother had. Julie had scrapped back her hair into a half-up ponytail this morning.

“They did all that because they lost their daughter in a slab avalanche when Lucy was three. Slab avalanches are the most dangerous type, they make up 90% of avalanche deaths.” Ray sighed, staring up at the snow-capped looming mountain, “It took weeks to recover her body, there’s a bench on the mountain where she loved to snowboard. She was training for the Olympics actually.”

Luke’s attention faded from the conversation recalling that you would be on the mountain at dawn to watch the sunrise. In the sudden motion, Luke stumbled over his own feet heading straight for the shack. His mind is numb as he applied the gear to his body, the movements keeping him from panicking. Luke sensed rather than saw Reggie and Alex behind him.

“What are we doing?” Alex questioned, getting dressed as well.

“Going to the mountain.” Luke was very determined. Catching Reggie’s confused gaze Luke roughly gestured to the far corner, “What’s missing?”

“Y/N’s gear.” Alex and Reggie breathed physically shaking at the desolate area where a gorgeous board usually was. That lit a fire under their asses for sure, grateful for poofing they appeared on the mountain.

Scouring the white background, Alex pinpointed a speck of seafoam green running for a speck of bring pink and yellow. In the fear they had taken to sprinting in the bulky boots as if they felt something about to happen.

Your attention solely on Lucy, “Lucy, we need to leave now.”

For Lucy, the mountain was her life, it had been one of the things that her older sister lived and breathed for. All Lucy wanted to do was to be like her big sister. Lucy had the potential, her moves and posture striking to the late sister.

“This is the best trail!” Lucy stomped her black boot in the snow while her other one secured in her snowboard.

“It’s also one marked off for an avalanche.” You hissed to the little girl staring up with tear-filled eyes, “Please, go back.”

The unmistakable ‘whoomph’ sound shattered the otherwise quiet area freezing Lucy in her steps. The once stubborn ten years old turned petrified at the sheet of snow coming straight for the two girls.

“Slab avalanche.” The words covered by the snapping of trees. Your arms yanked Lucy up as you raced perpendicular to the moving snow.

Your ears couldn’t distinguish between Lucy’s screams, your screams or even the loud sound of the destructive avalanche. The alarm and terror drowning your insides, leaving no room for thoughts, only actions. Lucy’s small stature and the years you had on the location helped to dive into a safe zone.

Even in the safe zone, you raced further to collapse with Lucy’s inconsolable body quaking in absolute distress. The tears of relief fell down your face as you leaned against the bench of the memorial. Your head thumped the bench causing a puff of snow to fall on your hat.

“Holy shit.” The sob of words from Luke came before his arms wrapped around you. With being able to touch Julie, the guys didn’t get alarmed at the sight.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” Alex frantically scanned the little girl before moving towards you in the same amount of fear. Reggie rendered speechless at the events.

“What the hell were you thinking!” Luke shouted, lunging away to stare you down. Tears streaking his own cheeks, “You’re also preaching the safety rules of the resort. You definitely read the reports and decided to come on the mountain?”

“Luke,” Reggie mumbled remaining the only one standing. His words went ignored, “Luke! LUKE!”

“What!?” Luke snapped resulting in the bassist flinching at the stark memory of his home life, “Sorry, Reggie. What’s wrong?”

“I don’t think Y/N was ever in danger,” Reggie stated, bringing both confused boys to where he stood.

There above the bench uncovered by the snow that melted on Y/N’s thick toque was a picture. Above the quote was a picture of a girl holding the snowboard the bench was made of. Wearing a unique matching snow set was the exact replica of the girl Luke had fallen for.

“Holy shit.” Luke and Alex murmured gaping at the picture and the name of the girl who had died.

Luke recalled things you said,

“I used to work in here.”

“It snapped in half.”

“It was fun talking with people my age.”

Luke’s mind went a step further recalling the first lesson you gave the guys where you went from the bench to the Gondola in a short time. How people didn’t react to you, the ski patrol that ignored you every time on the mountain with them.

“You’re the daughter that died in the avalanche.” Luke gasped, dropping his jaw nearly to the snow-packed ground.

“Exactly seven years ago today.” You replied, keeping your eyes glued to your little sister yearning to comfort here, “Reggie, can you go in the building and press the red button? It’s a signal sender for people sheltering from the conditions.”

Nothing could meet the feeling of your parents weeping along with Lucy after the medic deemed her okay. While you wish you could join the hug, you also knew that things happened for a reason. The feeling that same with kissing Luke could never meet the level of happiness at Lucy’s safety.

I came close to killing ten year old Lucy in this but decided not to be cruel.

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[kadeu]

Accepted — Hyun Soomin

♣   Hyun Soomin looks like Kim Chungha (solo) ♣    She was December 17, 1918; making her 106 but she appears 25 years old ♣   This Kumiho is Pansexual, Heart Defector, and a Three of Clubs ♣   She is an attendant at the Dragonfire Hotsprings and an errand girl

BIOGRAPHY

Bora was born to a single mother, a three of hearts serf full of dread and regret. It wasn’t always like that, though.

Her mother was a thousand years old kumiho who had been aging quicker than before during the past century, due to the stress and poor quality of life she led after losing all her money and, with that, her previous nine of hearts rank. Being a successful drug merchant wasn’t exactly the safest profession, with fierce and ruthless competition to go against it didn’t come as a surprise, even though it turned into a traumatic, life changing experience, to be framed and driven to bankruptcy. Never married to the father, he took that as a chance to abandon them, since his rank hadn’t been affected by the scandal. She lost everything except for the baby in her womb. All the way down to a three and with the little savings she had outside the Zuihuo Bank -not enough to change her rank- she was left with a huge debt, a large belly and almost no options for a new job. Homeless and having a hard time facing reality she wandered around directionless. She almost didn’t survive giving birth to Bora if it wasn’t for a spade healer that took pity on the kumiho trying to do it alone in an alley, her water breaking in the middle of the Joker moments before. Wondering what would be best for her and the baby, deserting hearts and trying to join spades seemed like her best bet, but she never made it to the spade territory. For some time, other lower rankers in the heart faction helped her and the newborn survive, she didn’t even feed in a long while because the stress caused migraines and slowly drained her power, but the incessant cries of her baby drove her insane until she reached a turning point. If she wanted to survive, if she wanted Bora to do so, she had to let her wild nature as a kumiho come out and be as ruthless as they were to her. The day Bora turned one year old she went into a feeding frenzy. She stole and hunted. She lied and deceived with her illusions. She hid. Every human heart and every human kidney she could get in her hands was split into halves, one for her and one for Bora. She wanted her daughter to come into her power as soon as possible while she gained enough strength and courage to initiate her next move. It came soon as a conclusion that it was either selling her body, taking part in morally dubious business or serving a rich family, and if she was going to do so, then the family she was indebted to was the most reasonable choice. At that moment she didn’t have a place to call home, nor any income. It was a blow to her already humiliated soul, but she would take it for her daughter. You would think an infant wouldn’t notice any of this, but Bora knew and felt, she absorbed all of it as she watched her mother work and take care of her at the same time to the point of exhaustion. Years later, when Bora was old enough, she began serving as well under the name Wisteria. Every serf working for the family received the name of a flower, and she decided to take the meaning of hers as a mantra; longevity and endurance defined foxes accurately. In a fresh bank account, she saved and saved, hoping to one day rise in the social scale and help clear her mother’s debt. It was harder than it seemed though, not earning much as a serf led her to contact people in the darkest alleys of the heart borough whenever she had a chance to go out. She ran errands for the house and for a drug dealing gang always going by Wisteria and not her birth name. A kumiho’s illusions and transformations came in handy for many things as it would appear. Her mother wasn’t happy with her decision, but Bora couldn’t stand watching how the serving life was weakening her day by day. It took decades to take a step upwards. Many times, she thought it would be impossible, but keeping an eye on her own -almost nonexistent- expenses and limiting her social life she became a four of hearts. Did anything at all feel different? No, but it actually gave her the opportunity to consider other means of living.

IN RECENT YEARS

Even though it sounded like a good idea, Bora never left the family she worked for, not even when she made it as far as five of hearts. She couldn’t leave her mother there, still being paid with just food and a bed to sleep on. There were so many things the young vulpe could do now, but she had grown used to the job, the faces and the fake sense of security that even her questionable side job gave her. And still, every once in a while, she could feel a tingling sensation all over her skin, her blood rushing through her veins and her trembling hands trying to reach for something invisible. She couldn’t help but wonder if this life was really meant for her.

Sooner or later things would change -her gut told her- but the way it happened marked her whole existence and dictated her future.

In the middle of the 2023 winter, January, her mother passed away. Depression and anxiety took her slowly over time, but too fast for a kumiho. She hadn’t turned into her fox form in a long while, even though Bora tried to make her. It was like she was giving up and her daughter couldn’t do anything but watch her fade away.

Was it unfair to feel betrayed by her mother and those she worked for? Bora didn’t know. All she knew was that everything hurt. Becoming orphaned and indebted by inheritance, which automatically demoted her to one of hearts, were never in her list of aspirations. Even the family she served for years started treating her differently, even though she was the same person. Her own existence started losing its meaning.-“Sorry for leaving so soon, Bora. I don’t know exactly when it’s going to happen, but I can feel that I won’t stay with you for much longer. Take care. You’re the only reason I haven’t left before. I love you.”

It was written on a letter she found among her mother’s belongings, next to a stack of older looking ones that after inspection revealed the strangely close relationship her mother maintained with a club, and not just a lowranker like her, not even a regular highranker like she used to be, he was a jack of clubs.

Making sure her tears didn’t smear the ink on the letters, she read through all of them, starting from the most distressed looking, the oldest. She learned that they met through work around the time her business saw enough success to branch out to other districts. Their relationship seemed merely professional at first glance, but Bora quickly caught up with the little affectionate terms and endearments they exchanged more and more frequently. It was also very clear that her mother was already involved with Bora’s father, but it didn’t seem to affect their mutual flirtation. She also learned that he was a kumiho as well as they casually talked about feeding, transformation and everything that was quintessentially a fox spirit’s concern.

Bora wondered if they got to meet in person and how often. If their longing for each other ever saw compensation. Hyperfixating on the letters for a whole month kept her from drowning in the despair she felt every time the world reminded her of the current situation and when she finished the last one, already more than ten years old, an epiphany took place.

Maybe this mysterious, at least in her eyes, jack of clubs was her ticket to a new life. All she had to do was leave everything behind, unpaid debt included, and flee towards the club district. They wouldn’t send anyone after her, right? They didn’t care for her mother until she offered herself in exchange for a roof.

Meeting him wasn’t as easy as she initially thought, though, the club borough was recovering for the recent civil war after all, everyone was extra vigilant. It turned out to be hard enough just to find his whereabouts, not to mention he was surrounded by heavy security, a necessity for a drug and gem trader, plus there was no apparent or justified reason for him to direct his attention to a one of hearts kumiho that had nothing but the bag she carried on her back. Unfortunately for him, Bora wasn’t going to give up as she couldn’t turn back. There was nothing but emotional pain waiting for her back in hearts. Yes, in clubs she would have to endure the physical kind, but her determination wasn’t running low.

It was during the third of her futile, middle of the street at night, ambushes that she mentioned her mother for the first time since she died, in a cry for help as his bodyguards slammed her to the ground. That was enough to discreetly take her back to his place and hear her out.

It was then when Bora learned his name, which the letters didn’t mention for privacy matters. Kwon Iseul sounded as serious as he was, at least from what Bora could grasp during the first conversation they had. He agreed to help her, but only under a long list of conditions that included a fake name and limiting most of her activities to the night.

From that moment on she would be known as Hyun Soomin.

Iseul covered her tracks so her debtors back at hearts couldn’t easily find her, a bit of personal rivalry getting in the mix, he also found her a place to stay and immediately commenced the mentoring and training she desperately needed. As kumihos, feeding in clubs wasn’t as easy as it was before, they no longer turned a blind eye much to Bora’s disappointment, but there were still ways that he taught her. Regarding fights, she had no experience, she only knew how to use her powers at a basic level. There was so much to do. A few days later, already in the third month of the year, she was officially a one of clubs under his wing.

Little by little she proved her worth as a warrior, from using illusions to transforming into a beautiful black fox, she used every advantage she had to very slowly raise her rank. Always letting some time pass between battles as the last thing in her interest was to call attention upon herself.

Nowadays she is a three of clubs.

She got a job at the hot springs as part of her façade and to make some money of her own, but until the Dragonfire reopens she just keeps running errands -in the dark and away from the heart district- for Iseul.

PERSONALITY

In the eyes of strangers, Bora is a quiet, observant, maybe even a judgmental person. She usually speaks in a low voice that holds her real personality back, unless provoked. Indeed, this is far from her true self, it’s just a reflection of who she used and fakes to be. Slowly, she is developing a daring and bold attitude that sometimes comes out at unexpected times. She’s simply getting to know herself better now that she doesn’t have to obey anyone. She responds to her sponsor, but she isn’t serving him. Plus, the fights are basically forcing her to be more assertive, she knows that presence and psychological dominance can play a big part when you’re physically smaller than the majority of your opponents. It’s not like she was a submissive small fry before, never acted like one, but it is now she’s finally starting to match her potential.

Smart, cunning, analytical, untrusting, individualistic, dominant, fearless. She is driven by nothing else than proving her own worth to herself, she has found out that she thrives in violence and that she is pretty good at beating people up. Her fighting style is full of tricks and backstabbing.  Sometimes she shows another side of herself, more relaxed, flirtier and charmingly mischievous, a side she’s coming to after meeting new people, mostly those working for Iseul.

Her vulnerable side comes out at the memory of her mother and her mental health, especially during the last few months before dying. She doesn’t like at all talking about her or her past. This also leads to paranoia, wondering if one day someone will manage to take her back to the heart district, her debt still unpaid.

On another note, she rarely shows her fangs, tail, fluffy ears or anything that indicates her nature, which isn’t that common in the club borough and would give her out. Although, when she’s around people she trusts, mainly Iseul, she likes to display her foxy attributes.

She doesn’t discriminate based on ranks, knowing perfectly well what is like to be on the bottom, but she can be very judgmental towards highrankers if they show that very same kind of demeanor.

She has heard of the resistance many times, but she doesn’t care about it unless they mess with her lifestyle. It’s not like she disagrees with everything they stand for, but she obviously can’t accept their policies regarding vulpes’ feeding. Yes, humans are living beings, but she needs it to stay healthy and strong.

Congratulations Kisu your app has been accepted and we’re excited to have your muse on the dash with us.

PLEASE FOLLOW AND WELCOME @cunningtype TO KADEU!

[mandoalorian]

Sugar and Spice [Maxwell Lord x Reader] - Chapter 1

Summary: When you are evicted from your apartment by your toxic ex boyfriend and have no place to go, who do you turn to? Alone in the city as the countdown to Christmas begins, you find yourself applying for a job as the assistant of the world’s biggest entrepreneur; Maxwell Lord. Little do you know, he has other intentions for you. No doubt about it, this Christmas will truly be like no other.

Word count: 4k

Warnings: Eventual smut, mentions of a previous verbally abusive relationship, typical 80s misogyny (but very little of it), mentions of food and drink, alcohol consumption. This is a sugardaddy x sugarbaby fic soooo... a daddy k!nk too oops.

But in this chapter - mentions of a verbally abusive relationship

Author’s note: Happy November 1st! Here is chapter one of December Magic. I am so so grateful for how many people have asked to be part of a taglist/enjoyed the prologue. It makes me so happy. If you want to be tagged in future parts please let me know! Enjoy x

MASTERLIST | SUBMIT REQUESTS

PREVIOUS - CHAPTER ONE - NEXT

Waking up on December 1st, you had no idea what was in store for you. You had no idea how the coming month would change your life forever.

It was that time of the year again. Your favourite time of year, and boy were you a sucker for tradition. Any excuse to light your cinnamon and pinecone scented candles and wear the cosiest wooliest sweaters you could find. The time of year where you would search around in storage for your favourite cashmere gloves, tartan scarf and faux fur hat. It was the time of year where you had to have your car defrosted every morning. The thought of your peppermint mocha warming your hands as you did your Christmas shopping was something to look forward to all year round.

The crisp cool air hung above your shoulders. Washington DC felt bigger than life when you were amongst the bustling December crowds, city life filled with people running around trying to get sorted in time for Christmas. The whole city was painted in thick layers of white snow and an abundance of glittering fairy lights. WHAM’s new Christmas song was a number one hit and the catchy melody filled up the department store on every main street corner. But this year was different to any other.

“You can’t pay, you can’t live here. You have three days to box up your stuff before you’re evicted.” Your landlord, Tristan, said sternly, his voice completely monotone and with no empathy whatsoever. You knew it was coming. You had determined that this was your karma.

“Please, it’s Christmas and I’ve just been laid off from my job. You know my family don’t live in the state and-”

“Not my problem,” Tristan snapped back, a small smirk playing on his lips. He had a habit of interrupting you, but doing so at this very moment irked you like no other time. “You’re a big girl. Figure it out.” And with that, he slammed his door in your face.

You stood there momentarily trying to process the confrontation that had just occurred between not only your landlord, but also ex-boyfriend, Tristan. You consider yourself lucky to have a place as nice as your apartment. It was located right in the centre of Washington DC, a two bedroom, one bathroom, with an outstanding view of the city. You always admired how it looked at night, with eccentric tall buildings lighting up the skyline. But now you were essentially made homeless, and you knew for a fact that Tristan was getting a rise out of making you suffer like this.

That’s exactly why you broke up with him. He liked to have power over you, and everyone else he met. He wanted to be the top man. He wanted to be feared; and by the rest of the people in the building? He was. But by you, not so much. His attempts to make you scared were foolish and you wouldn’t stand for it. You’d think for someone who made a living from robbing people of their hard earned money, they would be able to afford a better anniversary dinner than Pizza Hut— but no. The two of you sat in the restaurant and you were lazily dipping your nachos into the cheese sauce when he came out with something preposterous. 

“I’m thinking about upping rent,” Tristan informed you with his signature smile. “By forty percent.”

You almost choked on your food. “Forty percent?!” you gasped, covering your mouth as you coughed slightly. “You can’t do that!” You knew that you could get out of paying it because, girlfriend privilege. But you were also aware of the financial status of your neighbours. The family of five who could barely afford to put food on the table, and the teenage boy who had to drop out of school to work and make an earning so he could provide medication for his sick mother. They were already struggling and with a rent rise, you just knew they wouldn't be able to take it.

“And why not?” Tristan raised an eyebrow quizzically, taking a bite of the floppy slice of pizza. You scrunch your nose up as you watched him eat with his mouth open, bits of cheese falling out and onto the table.

“Because it’s not fair,” You told him. “It’s greedy. If you need extra cash you could always look for another job. Even if it’s just part time! I heard Black Gold Cooperative are hiring and you just know the pay will be good-”

Tristan slammed his fists on the table, making you jump at his sudden movement. A few heads turned to face you both and you felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. “Black Gold Cooperative?” He snarled. “And work for that self righteous asshole Maxwell Lord? I don’t think so, sweetie.”

You sighed at his audacity to call anyone else self righteous before giving the chance to check his own behaviour.

“It was just a suggestion.” You mumbled, avoiding eye contact with him.

“Right, because you don’t think being a landlord is a real job.” Tristan said nastily. His tone of voice sent a shiver down your spine. He was doing it again. He was speaking down to you because it was the only way he could exert power over you. “Says the girl who pours coffee all day and only works twenty hours a week and barely makes enough to avoid a goddamn bowl of pasta from Pizza Hut.” He pointed at your bowl of nachos that you had selected from the Starters menu.

You were getting really sick of his attitude. “It’s dishonest work.” You growled back at him. “You overcharge families and people who can barely get by just so they can have a roof over their head! Don’t you see how immoral that is?”

“Someone has to do it.” He shrugged cooly, taking a sip of his red wine.

“But you’re going about it the wrong way!”

“Right.” Tristan stood up and grabbed your arm. He pulled you out of your chair and dragged you outside of the restaurant. 

“Let go of me!” You cried out, yanking your arm out of his hard grip. You rubbed where his fingers had dug into your skin and had no doubt it would leave a bruise.

“Oh, I’m sorry, is the broke ass barista telling me how to do my job? You’re the one to talk. You’re nothing. And you’d be nothing without me. Look at yourself,” Tristan scoffed, and suddenly he was making you feel very self conscious. “You were foolish enough to think you could move to DC and make something of yourself. You have ambition but you don’t know how to use it. And the way you tried to embarrass me during our anniversary dinner…” He was doing what he always did. Villainsing you.

“I never want to see you again.” You spat, tears threatening to spill from your eyes. Your voice was shaky but you didn't want to break down in front of him. You didn't want to give him that satisfaction.

“That’ll be hard since we live in the same building,” he rolled his eyes and tried grabbing your hand again but you flinched away, fear prevailing in your eyes. “Oh come on baby.”

“Don’t call me that.” You said through gritted teeth. “I’m calling a cab. And don’t bother calling me. See you around Tristan.” 

And that was the last time you had seen Tristan, until today— talk about bad break-ups. 

You shuffled upstairs back to your apartment and slumped against the door trying to figure out how you were going to find a new place to live in three days. Maybe if you found a job you could persuade Tristan to let you stay a little longer. You knew that's what he wanted. Everything he had done, everything he said, was to scare you. But Tristan was attached and despite threatening to evict you, he didn't want to see you leave.

You wanted out. Your apartment was filled with bad memories and maybe this was your opportunity to start fresh. This could be your calling. But judging from your current situation and the time of year, you figured you’d be lucky just finding a roadside motel to spend Christmas day in— and you really didn't want that. You grabbed the phone book from under your coffee table and walked over to the dial up phone hung by the kitchen door. Locating one of the most popular property marketplaces in central DC, you dialled up and found your fingers twirling in the telephone wire.

“Hey,” you greeted.

“Hello!” an older sounding lady chirped on the other end of the line. “How can I be of service?”

“I um, I gotta find a place to live— and fast. I’m getting evicted and my budget, well, I don’t have a lot-” your eyes scanned the living room as you weighed up possible things you could sell for just a little more cash.

“Oh, I’m sorry dear. We’re shut for the holidays and there's no place in DC that will help you find a place before new year,” She said sadly and you couldn't believe your bad luck. No place at all? “It really is a shame that you're being evicted, but if you drop into our store after the new year, I’d love to help you find a place that is suitable for you and your budget!”

You were left rendered speechless. “I- I’m going to be homeless.” you said to yourself, the fact finally dawning on you. You knew that you wouldn't ever be truly homeless and that Tristan would be more than happy to let you stay with him during the holiday season but the thought of having to go back to him knocked you sick. You’d rather freeze on a street corner than feel his embrace once more. You wondered if you could travel back home to see your family. “Hey, are there any train trips or flights to Oregon?” you asked.

“Nope,” the lady popped her p and she sounded far too cheery for your liking. “Tickets have been sold out for months. I could get you a flight for January 12th?”

“No.” you mumbled. “My car broke down… but what are the chances I could get a cabbie to Oregon?”

“You want to get a cab to Oregon?” The woman on the other end laughed in disbelief, and you supposed that could be justified. “You can't be serious. Besides, Astoria bridge has been closed down due to last week's snow storm and I can't see it reopening until after the snow has cleared. Heaven knows when that will be.”

Tristan had really caught you in a loop. “So there is no way I can find a place to stay, nor travel to Oregon, at all, this month?”

“I’m sorry dear.”

“Okay, well thank you for your help.” You said wistfully, feeling dread forming in the pit of your stomach.

“Merry Christmas and have a hap-” You hung up on her.

You weren't ready to give up hope just yet. If there was one thing you always clung on to, it was faith. Your belief that everything happens for a reason and everything is sure to work out for the best in the end. You figured you could go job hunting and then tell Tristan you would be able to pay him double once you got your first paycheck. No, it wasn't ideal but what other choice did you have?

You grabbed your jacket and purse before leaving your apartment. Did you have a plan? No. You didn't even have your resumé with you.

You plodged your feet through the snow, your socks dampening even through your boots but finally made it to the bustling main street. You looked in the windows of all the different department stores and in desperate search for hiring signs, even going inside and inquiring with members of staff— but there were no positions available.

Just then, you found yourself outside of Black Gold Cooperative and you remembered that they were hiring. Granted, you didn't know what the position was, and figured you almost certainly didn't have the qualifications to work for such a prestigious business.

You looked up at the tall building, always feeling like an overwhelmed tiny insect when you stood next to it. It sparkled a sleek black and in a large, gold, cursive font BGC was displayed so high it looked over the whole city. It was certainly the tallest skyscraper you had ever seen with your own pair of eyes. In that moment, you almost backed down. But this wasn't a choice anymore and you had to shoot your shot. Just roll with it. You told yourself.

You were able to take a peek at the lobby in the double door entrance. Everything was marble with gold embellishments. If you hadn't known any better, you would've thought it was a palace. Trodding over the red carpet, you were stopped by a man’s arm, not allowing you to enter. “Name and business?" He asked, his voice rough. You looked up at him. Tall and broad, no hair and dressed in all black. A doorman that looked like a nightclub bodyguard. If you weren't intimidated you would've laughed.

“Sorry?” you asked, trying your best to sound as innocent and polite as could be.

“Name and business.” He repeated, his tone of voice the same. He didn't budge— still standing there with his arms folded against his chest. You weren't even sure if he was looking at you, with his black sunglasses hiding his face.

“Uhm,” you stood on your tip toes and took a glance at the clipboard which was pressed between his forearm and chest. Names that had been typewritten were printed on the page and most of them had been crossed out— bar one. You read out the name. “Barbara Minerva.” you said confidently. He looked at you for sure this time and pulled his glasses off, narrowing his eyes. He took the clipboard and checked for your fake name and sure enough, there it was.

“You’re Barbara Minerva?” he beckoned, raising an eyebrow.

“The one and only.” you lied with a charming smile. “And my business is…. actually I'm here for a job interview.”

“Oh!” the man grinned, like something had clicked in his mind. He scribbled out Barbara's name on your clipboard and ushered you inside. “Mr Lord’s office is on the top floor. Best of luck Ms Minerva.”

When you entered the lobby, warmth washed over your body and you couldn't help but smile. It was all lit up with yellow fairy lights and an enormous twelve foot Christmas tree in the centre. The tree was decorated with red and golden baubles. It was simply magnificent and looked like it was straight out of a catalogue.

You walked over to the elevator and pressed the button. No way would you be walking up 22 flights of stairs to the top floor. You really couldn't believe you were even granted access to the building, nevermind the fact you now had an interview with the self acclaimed and prestigious mutli-billionaire Maxwell Lord. A feeling of dread filled your stomach. What if he caught on? What if he figured out you weren't this Barbara woman? Could you go to jail? You tried your best to shrug the feeling off and remain confident. To be honest, you'd rather spend Christmas locked away in a cell than with Tristan. You promised yourself that this would be worth it.

The top floor was sleek, a long and wide corridor with an office at the very end. Marble statues were dotted around, and the walls were filled with oil paintings bordered with solid gold frames. At the front, not too far from where the elevator had dropped you off, was a help desk. Three women with sleek hair and matching pencil skirts scoped you out, almost glaring at you. You were sure you noticed one of them stifle a laugh. But you were too mesmerised by your surroundings to care. Everywhere you looked was just so magnificent.

"Can I help you?" one of the ladies snapped you out of your thoughts. Your head bolted in their direction.

"Oh!" you exclaimed, pulling off your faux fur hat and sliding the gloves off your fingers. You shoved them hap-hazardly in your coat pocket. "I'm Barbara Minerva," you introduced yourself with the politest smile you could muster. "I have an interview with Maxwell Lord?"

The three girls gawked at you in silence. It was like you had grown a third head. "You have an interview with Mr Lord?" one of the women raised her eyebrows. She flicked her blonde long ponytail and settled a hand on her hip.

You hesitated, considering her rude attitude for a moment. "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."

The three girls started at you for just a beat too long before one of them, with the sleekest ebony hair you had ever seen, handed you a document. "You need to sign this NDA." she said simply, rolling a pen over to you.

Your eyes scanned the document which just so happened to be very vague. "Why the need for a non disclosure agreement?" you beckoned. "It's just a job interview."

The blonde girl snorted and the ebony haired girl slapped her arm. "Yeah, just a job interview." The blonde assistant rolled her eyes, a small smirk playing on her lips. "We don't make the rules, Mr Lord does. And we know better than to question him."

This was really odd. You wondered if it was really worth it but you had already come this far— you couldn't just walk out now. You sighed and signed your name over the NDA. The blonde girl let out a cackle.

"Is there a problem?" you questioned, stone faced and unamused.

Your heart was racing. These ladies were so pushy and you were certain that if it was going to go wrong at some point— it would be now.

"No, not at all," a girl with chestnut hair smiled. "That's just Stephanie being a bitch as per usual." The blonde girl, who you now could identify as Stephanie gasped.

"I am not a bitch!" Stephanie cried.

"You kinda are." The ebony haired girl shrugged her shoulders.

"Shut up Amanda!" Stephanie spat. Amanda rolled her eyes and blew a bubble of gum before analysing her nail beds.

"Brittany started it." Amanda accused and before you knew it, the three girls began to cat fight each other.

"I- I'm just going to take a seat over there." You said, trying to speak over the girls who were shouting at each other.

"Amanda you know Mr Lord hates it when you blow bubbles with your gum!" Stephanie accused, narrowing her eyes.

"She does it because he still won't let her blow him." Brittany cackled.

"That is not true." Amanda gasped again, shaking her head.

You felt yourself waver out of their little argument, truly taken by surprise at how unprofessional they were being. You expected higher standards from people who were employed by Maxwell Lord. You shuffled into the black leather sofa, trying to get cosy when the double doors to his office opened. You adjusted yourself, watching as a young looking girl walked out. She didn't make eye contact with anyone, her movements were almost robotic.

"How do you think she coped?" You heard Stephanie whisper.

"Look at her," Brittany replied. "She's a mess. I better go check on Mr Lord."

"No, I'll check on Mr Lord."

"NO, I'll check on Mr Lord."

Once again, you muffled out their argument and paid close attention to the girl. As she neared you, you saw her lipstick was smeared to one side and her cheeks were tear stained— black kohl eyeliner smudged just as much as her lipstick. Had she been crying? You felt your nerves increase and you picked up on the fact that she was walking with a limp. Noticing the three girls race to Maxwell's office, you took the chance to approach the young girl. You stood up and held your hand out.

"Hey, are you okay?" you asked her, taking a compact mirror out of your purse and handing it to her. She shook her head, rejecting your sentiment. "What- uhm, what's he like?" You asked her hesitantly.

"He's just the way you imagine him to be." She told you with a shaky exhale. You rolled your shoulders back as you contemplated her words. You hadn't really thought much of Maxwell Lord. Of course, everyone in the world knew who he was. For generations, the Lord family had shares in the oil drilling enterprise, but Maxwell Lord IV made a name for himself when he bought out 90% of the oil fields around the world; his father only owning a measly and yet still impressive 15% before him. The front page of Forbes magazine three years in a row— practically the face of 80s television with his cheesy infomercials being broadcast on every channel, every time of the day. Everyone knew his face, they knew his voice, they knew Maxwell Lord. Stories about him graced the tabloids, speculating who his latest lover was, whether or not there had been a new strain on his family and what his financial earnings looked like circa 1984. "He's just getting cleaned up now," the girl informed you with hazy eyes. "Maybe do yourself a favour and bring yourself tissue."

"That bad huh?" you bit your finger anxiously.

"No, he's amazing." the girl swooned. "I just hope I get a call back."

Okay, now you were really confused. "Well, good luck." You offered her a warm smile but she just bit her lip and continued limping to the elevator. A few moments later, the three girls who manned the main desk approached you. Stephanie took a step forward, offering you quite possibly the fakest smile you had ever seen.

"Mr Lord will see you know."

Taglists: [comment or drop me an ask if here if you would like to be added]

December Magic: @goth-topic (im so sorry it won’t let me tag you) @kiwi-the-first​ @100layersofdaddyissues​ @mrschiltoncat​ @honeymandos​ @thisisthe-way​

Permanent: @supernaturalgirl​ @phoenixhalliwell​ @ah-callie​ @luvzoria​

[atths--twice]

Chapter Five

December 1923

It took nearly a month to secure the preparations needed to leave Cairo and begin the journey down the Nile.

If he had not seen much of Dana before, he now saw her nearly every day.

She brought books from work, shared information she had been gathering for years, showed him maps she had copied and shared where she believed the temple of Kha’ari was located and why.

“There are big areas devoted to the more well known gods and goddesses: Luxor, Karnak… but I don’t think it’s near them. I just feel as though it’s near the Kharga Oasis,” she told him, as he walked her home after dinner at the hotel.

“The names are similar,” Fox agreed.

“True, but it’s more than similar names.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think… and, I know how it will sound, but I think that the other temples were erected in places where it may have been hard to be happy at times, but…” She paused and shook her head with a heavy sigh. “I think it’s harder to be sad in a beautiful place. To feel the weight of your heart breaking, while the day is beautiful and others around you are happy. I think a temple near an oasis, near that beauty, for a goddess of pain and suffering… that would be the perfect location. Showing that there is that beauty in the world, even when we believe it’s not possible.”

Fox stared at her, thinking of the people who may have come to the temple, leaving their offerings of thankfulness, finally able to see the beauty in the day around them, their hearts beginning to repair. He smiled and nodded, believing she had to be right, her deductions far too reasonable.

“I think that makes perfect sense,” he said softly and she smiled.

_______________________

The Lady of the Nile, was a large beautiful ship in which Fox had procured two rooms to carry them to their destination. When they had arrived that morning, Dana had stopped and stared at it and then at him.

“Our journey will take three weeks. We may as well spend it in comfort,” he had said and while she had seemed hesitant, she entered the ship with him.

The ship was even more beautiful once they were being led to their rooms. The rich colors, tapestries, and details all added to the grandeur of it. Dana kept looking all over and shaking her head, telling him how beautiful she found it.

Her room was first and when they stepped inside, she gasped. The room held a small bed, wardrobe, nightstand, oil and globe lamps. There was a sitting area with a small sofa, a table in front of it, and a sink with a chest below it.

Shelves with brackets were above the bed and along the walls to hold objects and keep them from falling. A round window, above a small bookshelf which held a decent amount of books, opened to look out onto the water. Sheer curtains hung around the bed and a large rug covered the floor.

“This room is nicer than my flat,” Dana said softly to him as she looked around, her trunk set down by the porter.

Fox smiled at her before excusing himself and continuing onto his own room. It was similar to hers, though the colors were a bit darker and instead of the small sofa, it had two comfortable looking chairs.

He unpacked his trunk, hanging up his clothes and looking around with a grin and a nod. It was all really happening.

He walked around the room, touching the books in the bookcase, the oil lamps, the curtains around the bed. With another nod, he left the room and walked to the dining room, requesting a table for dinner on the deck at sunset.

When he left, he walked back to Dana‘s room and knocked on her door. She answered, though she did not open the door fully, staying slightly hidden behind it.

“I’ve made reservations for dinner,” he said. “But I was wondering if you would like to take a tour of the ship with me.”

“Oh… yes, I would like that very much. Can I meet you in a few minutes?”

“Of course,” he agreed with a nod. “Fifteen minutes? In the main lobby?”

“Yes,” she agreed, smiling and nodding as she closed the door.

He left and walked to the bar, looking at the alcohol displayed and ordered two glasses of champagne. As it arrived, so did Dana, in a dress he had never seen before, and his heart stopped before it began to beat rapidly. Her hair was up and she looked beautiful, though slightly nervous.

“You look beautiful,” he said as she reached him.

“Thank you,” she answered with a blush on her cheeks. “My mother sent me this dress, just in case I had an occasion to wear it. I’ve had it for nearly two years and never worn it before tonight. I feel a bit unlike myself, but thought it was the right time to make use of it.”

“Indeed,” he said with a smile, the dark blue of the dress making her eyes bluer, if it were possible. “Here.” He handed her one of the glasses, clinking it with his own.

“Cheers,” she said quietly and he nodded as they took a sip. Extending his arm, she accepted it, as they turned from the bar and made their way up the stairs.

They walked around the ship, discovering the luxuries it afforded: a dining room smoking lounge for the men, a library, a salon with chairs and sofas filling the room, the gleaming windows letting in the late afternoon sun.

The deck of the ship was even better with the view of the sunset, the water, and the other small boats sailing beside them, their masts filled by the breeze.

He glanced at Dana, the loose strands of hair blowing across her face, and he smiled. Her eyes were shining and her lips curling up as she waved to him sailing past them. Under any other circumstance, he would have seen the romance of the situation. Truth be told, he was hard pressed not to see it, as the setting sun created a romantic atmosphere all its own, but he pushed those feelings aside.

“This is a beautiful ship. Far more than I was expecting,” she said and took a last drink of her champagne, the glass now empty.

“What were you expecting?” he asked, taking her glass and then draining his own.

“I… I don’t really know,” she said, leaning her arms on the railing and twirling a strand of hair, at the base of her neck, around her fingers. “I’ve… It's been a long time since I’ve been around such luxuries. My income at the museum is not large and what money I am sent from my mother, it’s not much either, and not always absolute.” He frowned and she smiled slightly. “My father didn’t want me to leave and threatened there would be no financial help from him if I did.”

“That’s…” He paused, not knowing what to say, and not wanting to insult a man he did not know.

“Not exactly the kindest, no, but it’s been cleared up. Letters and distance work wonders, you know.” She smiled at him and he frowned again. “He was worried about me on my own, and didn't want me so far from home.” She bit her bottom lip and looked away with a sigh, the wind blowing her hair across her face.

“But you know what I think?” she asked as she turned to look at him again. “Although he never says, his own letters generally short, and only a postscript added to my mother’s, I think the money is from him, but he won’t admit it. Stubbornness and not wanting to appear too soft, he will continue the charade.” Fox laughed softly and she smiled.

“My mother similarly did not want me to leave. But… after the pain and uncertainty the war caused her, I can understand.”

“Were you… shot? Your leg…” She glanced down and back up at him. “Please don’t feel you have to discuss it if you don’t-”

“No,” he interrupted, not wanting her to feel she had imposed upon him. “I wasn’t shot in my leg. I was stabbed and it became infected before I could get proper medical health. I had to spend some time in hospital correcting the mistake. I didn’t think I would go back to the front line after that, but they cleared me to return. My mothers letters were filled with her worry and anger over that decision.”

“I can understand how she feels,” Dana said quietly, her eyes downcast, fingers stroking her locket.

He felt the conversation was becoming too morose and so he suggested they continue walking and heading to dinner. She agreed and they moved on, him carrying the glasses and giving them to a server who had passed by.

Dinner was delicious, their conversation easy, but he could not help but feel something was different. She smiled and laughed, but the happiness did not quite reach her eyes.

After the meal was finished, she politely excused herself to return to her room, claiming she was tired and could do with an early night.

“Of course,” he responded with a nod, and she walked away.

Not wanting to be held within the walls of his own room just yet, he strolled around the ship again. On his second trip, he stopped at the library where he spent some time perusing the titles. Taking a book back to his room, he was determined to read as much as possible before falling asleep.

__________________

The days they spent together were different from the seemingly endless ones of planning and discussions. Then they worked tirelessly, walking to and from the library, the hotel, and her flat.

Now, they had time to relax, sleep later, lounge about if they so chose, which they did as it was a very welcome change.

They ate every meal together, learning more about one another.

She had grown up in Maryland and was the youngest of three siblings; her youngest brother dying in infancy.

Her brother, Bill, had fought in the war, coming home wounded in one eye. He handled it well, saying he could live his life with one eye as well as two. His fiancée, Adelaide, had not cared, thankful he had returned to her alive, and his children, of which he had two rambunctious boys, thought of him as a pirate.

Her sister, Melissa, was married to a very kind and quiet man, Joshua, who doted on her every need. They had three children and last she had heard, would soon be adding another.

“They are all the sweetest children, my sister's children more so, always sending me drawings and little notes. I love them all, miss them of course, but…” A hand at her throat drew his attention, but no story was forthcoming and he was left wondering about the mystery of the locket.

He told her of his life, a sometimes lonesome one without a sibling, wishing he had a playmate, but happy with his parents. His mother especially was loving and attentive and he had never lacked for anything.

“But it’s not made you as some,” Dana said and he frowned in confusion. “I mean that some people become demanding and rude, carrying their wealth as though it puts them above others. You don’t do that. You have wealth, as was obvious when I first met you, but you don’t flaunt it. It’s a part of you, but not something you think or worry about.”

“That may be the kindest way to tell someone they are a rich snob that I’ve ever heard,” he teased and she laughed, looking out at the water as they sat at a table, enjoying a drink.  

Other than the discussion the first day on the ship, the war was a topic they avoided and also how she had come to be in Egypt. It hung between them, something he would not have minded discussing, but one which she obviously did not, so their conversation mostly revolved around the journey and their destination.

The ship made many stops, allowing for touring the temples. For Fox, they saw nearly enough to make it all worthwhile, even without discovering anything on their own, but knew it was not the same for Dana. Her commentary of the day as they returned to the ship and had dinner, her eyes shining, he knew she was thinking of the excitement of their own hopeful discoveries.

Luxor, Karnak and Hathor, each place was more impressive than the last. The sheer magnitude of them was daunting enough, but the details in the artwork kept him standing in one place and sketching for longer than anticipated, only stopping when Dana joined him after touring places he had missed, his attention focused on sights before him.

There were people offering their expertise as a guide, but they declined them. Dana shared everything she knew, which was quite a bit, explaining what they saw with a passion the other guides lacked. He loved listening to her speak on subjects of which she knew, her tone animated and her hands moving quickly, pointing them out with a smile, his interest piquing with every word.

They went to the Valley of the Kings, where a large crowd waited to see the tomb of King Tutankhamun. Fox felt nervous as they made their way to the front of the queue, terrified he would react the same way he had at the pyramids. It would be twice as horrifying if it were to happen in front of Dana.

As the next couple walked forward, he took a deep breath. Thinking of the fact that it had been a while since he’d had any type of an attack of panic, he felt his heart start to race.

“Fox? Are you ready?” Dana asked, breaking into his thoughts and gesturing toward the tomb.

He took a deep breath and felt the panic begin to rise, when suddenly she touched his forearm and stared into his eyes. As she did, he felt a calm wash  over him, his breathing returning to normal.

“Yes,” he said, letting out his breath and swallowing down his worries. “Yes, I’m ready.” She smiled and took a step forward and he followed; down the steps and into the tomb.

_______________________

December 25, 1923

Off the ship and now staying at a hotel in Luxor, Fox dressed for dinner, tying his tie before he put on his jacket and walked out of the room.

Tomorrow would begin their day of preparation. They would be meeting with the men who would be joining them on their expedition. Food would be acquired, tools, clothes, tents, and any other items they would need.

Fox was excited, but also nervous, hoping they would truly find what they imagined was somewhere out in the middle of the desert. Tonight though, he and Dana were having dinner and celebrating the holiday.

Nearly a month on a ship, he was glad to be in a place which sat on solid ground. The ship had been large and comfortable, the river calm, but he still preferred to be on dry land.

Down the stairs, he stood waiting in the main lounge area for Dana. She did not keep him waiting long and when he saw her coming down the stairs, he drew in a deep breath.

Wearing the same dark blue dress as she had their first night on the ship. Her hair was up, though in a slightly different style, and his let out his breath when she reached him. He smiled, unable to take his eyes off of her.

“You’ve managed to make that dress even more beautiful the second time. You quite literally took my breath away.” He smiled again and she looked down, her cheeks pink, before raising her eyes to his and smiling.

“Thank you. You look very nice too,” she said and he nodded as he extended his arm to her. She took it and they walked into the dining room.

The room was large, with a dance floor in the middle, and tables around the edges, covered with white tablecloths. Candles lit around the room and sitting on the tables, gave it an inviting feeling.

“It’s beautiful in here,” Dana said, the orchestra in the corner beginning to play softly as they sat down.

“It is,” Fox agreed, looking around and smiling. “I think what I like best though, is that we aren’t on a moving ship. This room, being stationary, makes me very happy.” Dana laughed, picking up the menu from beside her plate.

Their food orders were given and as the waiter left them, he looked at the orchestra, his foot tapping the floor beneath the tablecloth. Turning his head, he looked back at Dana who smiled at him.

“I want to thank you, Dana,” he said quietly and she seemed surprised at his words. He drew a breath, about to speak, when the waiter arrived with a bottle of wine, filling their glasses. “A toast. To the journey on which we are about to embark, all we have seen, and to one another.” She raised her glass and tapped it to his, her eyes shining.

God, she’s beautiful, he thought, the dress and style of her hair accentuating her beauty.

When they had eaten, and the dishes cleared away, they rose to leave. Her eyes followed the dancing couples as they glided past, smiling and laughing.

“Would you like to dance?” he asked and she shook her head, clasping her hands in front of her. “A walk around the grounds of the hotel perhaps?” She smiled in agreement and they began to walk.

“Fox,” she said softly, her eyes on his. “I have thoroughly enjoyed the last few weeks. I’ve lived here for over three years and I have not had the opportunity to travel as we have done. I knew it was there, but the cost was beyond my means. Here I was in a place I had wanted to visit most of my life and I was stuck in one place.” She smiled at him, reaching for his arm and slipping her hand into the crook of it. “I never imagined I would be here, on the brink of doing what I set out to accomplish.” She stopped walking and held tight to his arm, forcing him to also stop. Staring at him, she smiled again.

“Thank you, Fox.”

“It has been my pleasure,” he whispered with a slight nod. “I have enjoyed the past few weeks as well. Immensely.” Placing his other hand over hers, he squeezed gently.

“And now I must express my appreciation. Thank you,” he said quietly and she shook her head. “No. I do thank you. If it was not you who answered my first letter, I would not have been as intrigued to come here. To not only see all that we have, but to meet and thank the person behind the pen. I’m so glad it was you. Thank you, Miss Scully.”

She blinked her eyes rapidly, though he could see the tears shining in them. He squeezed her hand again, let go and took a handkerchief from his pocket, handing it to her as they began to resume walking.

The music from the dining room could be heard through the open windows as they walked past and he stopped. Turning his face to her, he raised his eyebrows, asking silently if she would like to dance. She nodded and he took back his handkerchief, placing it into his pocket.

Holding out a hand, she took it and he pulled her close, waiting to feel the rhythm of the music.

“I’m not always good with the quicker steps, but I’ll try my best,” he confessed and she smiled.

“I’m not a great dancer myself. Please don’t feel worried,” she whispered. He smiled with a nod, his leg the furthest thing from his mind as he held her in his arms and they twirled, her laughter ringing through the air.

They stumbled only a couple of times, both apologizing and then laughing harder, but they kept dancing until the music stopped, with applause following.

Catching their breath, he looked at her and without thinking if it was the right thing to do, he leaned forward and kissed her softly, surprising both of them. He began to pull back, his apology already forming in his mind, when her grip tightened and she kissed him.

As quickly as it began, it stopped. She pushed away from him, her eyes wide.

“I… I’m sorry,” she breathed, a hand going to the locket at her throat. “I…” She shook her head and stepped back, walking away quickly.

“Dana… Please don’t leave,” he called after her, but she kept walking and he did not chase after her, knowing it was not what she wanted nor what he should do.

The music began to play again, happy and festive, the diners applauding, laughter  echoing through the windows. He felt no such joy, only worry and confusion. Less than a minute ago he had been happy, and now he stood alone, the memory of her kiss still lingering on his lips.

[rosyk]

Clichè

pairing: lee minho x reader

genre: heavy or light angst, fluff, marriage, misunderstandings

warnings: light curses, situations that involves deep anger or sadness, mentions of disease, death(?)

word count: 5.2k

a/n: Hi it’s your gal, rosyk. I’m back with writing fanfictions and it’s like 4 in the morning. I haven’t slept yet so there are many grammatically incorrect sentences or spelling errors. Hope you enjoy this one though! (Inspired by Dear John- Taylor Swift)

I sat by the car, the same old one he and I used to drive in. This was a simple car but we swore to use this for our wedding since memories are still stuck. It made me wonder what could’ve happened if everything went right? What would’ve happened to us if there were no obstacles in life? It then made me realize that indeed there were no obstacles, none other than you.

I drove the car to meet your sister who desperately needed to talk to me. She said there were secrets I needed to know but I get the gist of what she’s trying to do. Set me up? Trap me? Convince me? So I could be tempted to get back into your cage? I don’t want that to happen, never again. I’m sick and tired of this one-sided relationship I never noticed because I was blinded. Aced all my tests, I am smart. But when it comes to you, I look like a whole fool trying to fall in love with a guy who gave up. This is why I wanted to show her that I’ve moved on, at least based on my view. Wearing both of my earphones and played our song, I sighed deeply and continued to drive along Cornelia street. My days only revolved around you but what exactly went wrong in between us? Scratch that, what happened to you?

Back then, all I could do was love you. Not less but everything more. I could never stand loving you lesser each day. It’s not on obsessing but to the point that I recognize your feelings though still, I try to force myself. You know how I do grow tired from time to time, but that’s all because I care for you. There’s not much positivity from that though. The downfall happens when I love you much more than you feel for me. It was never equal no matter how I try to persuade myself, desperately needing your affection.

My mother used to tell me how crazy I was to fall for a guy like you. How was I supposed to tell her you were fine since then? Yesterday, you rained me with care. On Friday, you sucked it all up and acted as if nothing happened. All I could do was pray that the guy I used to know, is the one I’ll meet today and greet me in front of the door with wide gentle hugs.

You give me hope, then take it back all at once. I remembered a sunny sky in blue that suddenly turned grey after you decided to shrug me off several times. I was in your tiny piece of chess game. Though you change the rules every day, hoping I would give up until the end. What’s funny is that typically families opposing would be the ones who would give tests to both of the couples to prove their love. And yet, you were the one who was trying to give me a hard time and when I was lost in the thought of giving you up, you decided to save me at the end of the day.

You were a puzzle I couldn’t solve. Little did I know, there was a missing piece I could never find until then. Just like a whole puzzle, you were complicated but due to my drive and need, I had to hang on to my aim. I had to do it because I was convinced by all your “sorry“. Or maybe it’s just me trying to change my mindset to find a reason to stay because I knew there was no difference between all your other sorrys before.

“Which Minho would I be able to talk to on the phone?” It runs through my mind each Sunday of my life and gives me anxiety. But every time I hear the phone ring? I never hesitated to pick it up. No matter what kind of guy I am faced with, I wanted to know deeper why you were acting so confusing. But on that single day, I didn’t pick up the phone. I cried and had sleepless nights. My worst nightmare just came and here’s why:

“Don’t you think this is a good improvement? We’ll sit by the couch and place a big screen tv.” You placed your arm above my shoulder and I continued your lovely story.

“Then we’ll watch your performances?” I looked at you in the eye, grinning as you smirked at my idea. You hummed in question and tilted your head. “Lee Minho, the most famous kpop idol who reached internationally and was supported by his lovely fans” I placed both of my hands above, imaging a billboard banner with your name and face on it. Thousands of people watching and idolizing you.

“Really?” You shifted your position into a more comfortable one as I leaned on your chest. Nodding at my suggestion, you pressed your lips together and listened to me, getting all happy after trying to predict and set goals in our lives.

“Of course! Why not?” I turned my head to face you and gave you a slight hit. “I could feel the energy of the universe as if it's trying to tell me that was our fate” You playfully laughed at the girl in front of you who is telling such an exaggerating fairytale. “Besides, ” I went back to my position and grabbed your arms around my waist. “Your number one fan is just a surgeon anyway” You responded with an oh? as you began to get amused with my statements. “A surgeon who never failed to help people even in a situation full of pressure. The best surgeon in the district” I smiled in a bragging manner, lifting my hand to flip my hair.

“I like that” you nodded in approval. “But don’t you think it’s much better with the title, the best surgeon found around the world?” My eyes lit up with stars because indeed that was a better match. I grinned and raised my eyebrow.

“That’s better” an idea popped up and so I turned back once again. You looked at me in confusion and waited until I would continue what I wanted to say. “But how about the dating ban? Does that mean we have to keep it low?” You looked at me concerningly and so I did. Panic arose in my mind. “Or maybe we-“

You placed your hand up my lip and shushed me. Everything is going to be fine, you tried to assure me. Lifting up your hand and caressed my face, you continued and stared at my pouty lips. “Of course not. It’s you,” with a silent pause, you pointed directly at me with a lovingly stare “and I” you did the same back at yourself and held my hand, enclosing it together. “against the whole world”. You chuckled whilst you tipped your forehead on mines.

“Too cliché” I laughed at you but no doubt that made my heart flutter. Oh, how I wish he knew how much I love him.

[MONTHS LATER]

“Do you have everything packed?” I sighed deeply the minute I rummaged through the closet. I stopped as soon as I saw the yellow hoodie hung inside. “You forgot the hoodie!” I chuckled though scared, deeply hoping this isn’t what I think it is.

“That’s your favorite. Keep it” he smiled but those words pierced straight through me. I felt what he meant. My last token for our relationship, isn’t it? What happened to all those you and I against the world? Were all those just things to make me feel relieved?

“Oh” I responded dryly and gulped, pressing my lips together to stop these drops from falling. “Mhm, ’kay” I closed the closet and faced the guy who’ll soon be leaving. “Go” You looked at me with pity and everything I didn’t want to see in your eyes. I’m okay, at least that’s what I like to believe. As I was busy trying to act tough because I don’t want you to see me being vulnerable once again, you gave me the warmth I needed. A necessity in my dark days.

“I’m sorry. I won’t leave you alone, maybe quite busy but I’d never wanted to split up with you” I finally cried after everything. It was a big wash down of emotions and you felt sorry again. It was a painful sight for you, I know.

“But those hoodies..” sniffs went in between those sobs. As usual, you tried to assure me by caressing my face. It was an act to show that we’ll still stay the same.

“I want you to return this to me after I become an idol. I want you to promise you’ll hold on to us. Wait for me okay?” That was the first and last time I’ve ever seen you cry. It hurts deep bad, but I didn’t want to be an obstacle to your goal as well. I’ll wait no matter how many years it may take.

[DECEMBER OF 2018]

Hey, I’m not sure if you still received my letters. It’s been long, don’t you think? I feel like you don’t remember me anymore but I was your first love haha. Would you still be able to know me after I come back there? I’ve heard you all over the news. Minho, the guy who brought K-pop internationally and broke the Billboard charts. I told you that you’d make it. Me? I’m now a surgeon. Not internationally, but definitely in the district. I’ll get there soon, right? One more question, can I return the hoodie? I did wait for you, hoping you did as well.

I sighed for only God knows how many times for this day. The more I’ve been sending letters, the less I’ve been receiving.

I held on to the letter and got up from my bed after hearing a call once again. The last time I was able to sleep was decades ago and so I had to go back to work. Luckily, it wasn’t a heavy operation but I just had to check-in by the hospital to get the patient’s results.

“Good afternoon, Mrs!.” My patient joked and I could clearly see my best friend smirking.

“Maddie! Stay safe when you get home alright?” I smiled greeting the patient who joked before getting ready to leave

“Hey, hey it’s not too safe to go outside yet. Call someone to assist you. Take care!” Another response of mine was said after a boy who was operated on and took rest for three weeks passed by me.

Beaming from ear to ear, I squealed and hugged my best friend tight. “ALICEEE!” It’s been years since I’ve seen her. She accompanied Min on his way to Korea. And before any of the readers misunderstand, they are siblings. Quite awkward at first if I must say but it’s great to know lots of information about him.

“Hush, we’re in your workplace. You told me that, right? Alice, don’t scream or get hyper whenever you’d come back here.” She mimicked the way I talked in an insulting manner, not that I’m offended by it. We just like to mimic one’s tone as a sign of sarcasm. “Well, look who’s talking?” She furrowed both of her eyebrows as I laughed and took my hands off her.

“So how was Korea, Lisa? Did you find someone? Maybe that guy who you friend-zoned at?” I started chuckling after seeing her blank face. It was honestly funnier to see her reaction. Her stop-it-kind-of-face made my laugh gradually get lower but never failed to make a remark soon after. I thought of someone and so I tried to casually ask her about it. “How are you and Min? Was Korea that good? Just wanted to ask because I’m scared to get into their hospital” I shrugged it off but saw her eyebrow raise. Of course, she always knows what’s up.

“So is this why you’re called Mrs.? Mrs. Lee?” Now it was her turn to laugh. I playfully pouted and narrowed my eyes. “Excuse me?” I acted all offended, placing my hand to my chest as if I took it to heart “It’s miss for you, Mrs. friend-zoned” Rolling my eyes and entered my room, her never-ending saga of teasing me continued.

An hour came by after packing all my things left in the hospital room and we talked about our lives. She still never told me a single thing about Min because of her chattiness. We got in the car and went to the airport. My flight has been called and so I had to leave.

“Wish we could’ve spent more time. I’ll come back soon anyways after visiting the hospital” she hugged me so tight causing me to be so confused.

“Min.. I tried to talk to him” I looked at her in the eye asking for some problems that happened years before. Though no words that came out of her were expected.

“But he didn’t want to hear anything about you”

Hours came by like a flash but my thoughts filling out my mind went by for years. I arrived at my destination but is this truly where I am destined to be in? I knew there was something much more than her words because her voice was shaky.

I didn’t leave a single minute to go by my hospital though. Work always comes by my mind. But usually, I would hang by the café in your building hoping to see you pass by. There were no people because I was busy studying late at night after the closing time. It was scary, but I was too busy to notice.

“I miss you! I’ll come by soon, okay? You better wait for me, sweetie. Love you, take care!” I smiled after hearing my patient’s voice. She was a lovely kid and it seems like I wasn’t the only one missing her as well. It had just been a day yet Yeina has been panicking through the whole call.

“Got a boyfriend now?” The one who talked suddenly came up near my seat and giggled. It was cute but I was busy closing all my documents. Besides, it was not that important. I responded unknowingly but was cut after hearing the voice.

“No, it was my patient. She’s a cute kid” I looked up and God-, was that the biggest thing I regretted but enjoyed at the same time. The guy I waited for years was the same guy who didn’t want to hear anything that involves me. The guy who didn’t want to talk, approached me first with the same smile as if nothing happened. I don’t know what to feel nor what to say. It took whole 5 minutes of me trying to smile awkwardly.

“So, no hugs, internationally known surgeon who cured people around the world for the guy who is loved by his lovely fans?” You looked at me shocked but smiled as soon as I got back to my senses. Everything still remained vivid in your head when I thought it wouldn’t be.

I went up to you and cried in your embrace. The same warmth, it never changed even after all those years. “I thought you had forgotten” I tried to explain though it came out as short phrases because of my sobs. You held my head to nuzzle near your neck and caressed my hair, patting in between.

“Thank you for waiting even in tough times. You did good, doctor”

[WEEKS LATER]

Yes, it just had been weeks. Everything was good but turned downhill soon after. I don’t know what’s hitting on you because you just turned.. off.

“ARE YOU CRAZY?” I yelled after you constantly trying to ignore me. “Wow, so now you’re deaf?” I exclaimed as I held on to your arm and making you turn around and face me.

“You wouldn’t understand anyway!” Loud shoutings were just everything that was heard in the room. I am patient but was frustrated that moment you took on that dumb decision.

“So now I was wrong here? YOU QUITTED THAT FKING JOB OF YOURS BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T FEEL LIKE IT? YOU FELT BORED? The world doesn’t adjust for you! It’s not like you are the reason why the Earth revolves! It’s not easy to find a new goal and get it as soon as possible!” I expressed all my thoughts because things weren’t matching up. Who the hell leaves something just because he or she was bored? I felt like there was something more to it but why do you seem so nonchalant about it? It was that easy of a decision to make?

“SHIT!” You grabbed the vase and smashed it on the floor. That shocked me. I was clearly shaking yet I tried to stand by my point.

“Why did you come back here anyway?” I felt the world stopped. No, because he was actually true. Why did I come back here? Expecting that the love of my life would be the same even when it had been years he didn’t bother to call? Even after all these years, the guy I waited for would remain the same? After all the dating issues, he would stay irrelevant and think of me every day? I was just a surgeon not even known worldwide. Who am I to him?

“You’re right. I’m nothing to you anyway.” I packed up quickly placing all of my clothes unorganized. It was easy to get into someone but how is leaving not the same?

You tried calling me out but I left due to my blind optimism over the week. I came back to Korea but you soon got me with all those sorry. That was just a single moment that left a scar on me deeply. But now that I think of it, I was used to it because you were an on and off switch

The first day of a week you asked me out on a date then suddenly you claimed to have forgotten about it. You’d tell me how much you loved me, yet add me to the list of traitors who wouldn’t understand a single thing. It was basically just a love or leave me game of yours. It went on for months that I was tired of it. Sick of everything else but you suddenly turned nice again. I waited for the moment you would hate me as usual but it never came by. Was it because you finally realized how much you had hurt me or were you trying to be nice because you were planning a sudden break-up. Maybe a Dear Jane letter? I was scared because I feel like it was more of the latter.

But after all the overthinking, another unexpected thing came by. You spoke the words:

“I can’t imagine what you’ve gone through after everything I’ve done. It hurts so bad and I don’t want to see you taking all that pain anymore. I never had forgotten about you not even a single bit of my life. I made decisions that could lessen your pride and was also close-minded with all your opinions. But my love for you stays true which is why I wanted to stop seeing you cry. The only tears I’ll ever allow you to shed is the one I needed all my life. The words I wanted to wait for you on. This might be the most clichè thing you’ll ever see, but will you marry me?”

I could never get over that preparation of yours. Because who’d knew you were actually into those surprises? I looked at the ring and smiled at it. How precious this is to me. But time surely passes by fast.

Looking at myself in a white gown, we passed by on lots of obstacles but it felt like yesterday even though it took even years to convince my mother and bless the marriage. She allowed but was forced to.

I still remembered how my mom used to hit me several times every day just to understand if there was something wrong with my head, but apologized soon after because she believed my father was watching from heaven. Mom had many beliefs and one of them was to ask my father whether to accept me. She used to tell me with not a missing day left aside, “run as fast as you can”. Up until now, I find it too hilarious.

“Aren’t you rushing too much? You’re still nineteen” the one who placed my natural makeup on, whispered in my ear.

That was what I was scared of. I was anxious about getting hurt at 19 what more if I was getting married then it went downhill when I was 19? But you were a risk I was willing to take every day, so why not? I know you’ll stay true to your words, I just know so.

“No” I responded short and smiled at myself for acting so brave with my thoughts. I went out of the hall and looked up to my mother who was dressed up so nicely. Sure, the girl who took time dressing me up, definitely did not say she wouldn’t attend if I marry Minho. I sarcastically remarked at her logic.

“So where’s that guy? It’s been 15 minutes since the guests have arrived!” She placed her hand on her hip and tapped her feet on the floor impatiently.

“Ma, he will arrive” I assured my mother and hugged her after I saw a glimpse of tears on her face. Of course, she raised me, and to finally see me with a guy who will take care of me then, she would be brought into tears. She told me once, before the wedding starts, all her thoughts including how she was sad about me leaving but happy about me finding and receiving the love I am willing to fight for. She doesn’t show it as much but she knows how much of a good guy Min is.

“You’ll be Mrs. Lee minutes later!” I found Lisa near the entrance and hugged her. “I told you we would have the same last name years ago!” she continued

Minutes came by and indeed you look handsome in a tux. Everything was worth the wait. You were worth waiting for. We’ve said our vows that express our love would remain until forever runs out, and it was truly you and I together against the world.

[PRESENT]

At least that is what was supposed to happen.

Your dumb-ass mind left me hanging and crying on the white dress. Everything was prepared and you suddenly decided not to show up? You were claiming you had forgotten? What kind of excuse is that? You were no doubt an expert on saying sorry. Just because, you were an exception when it comes to me not being forgiving. Just because, you’d know how to get me back. With a single smile, sorry, that’s it! My mind would start to revolve once around you, playing hide and seek or chase. I was always the one chasing and I’m tired of having to run a hundred miles just to get that love I wanted, which you never wanted to give anyway. It’s all you and your sick need of giving love and taking it away.

Don’t you think I was too young to be messed with? The girl in a white dress who was supposedly having fun on her grand day, went away and started crying? I should’ve followed what my mom said. You should’ve known and I should’ve seen. I was played, you were the one who controlled the game.

“Where will you take me, Alice?” Truly, it’s hard to have feelings for a guy who is the brother of your best friend. If things go wrong, then clearly your friendship is over.

“To him” you responded shortly, tightening your grip on my wrist.

“Stop. I don’t want to go.” I forced her hand off me and whined in a frustrated manner because clearly, you screwed up Alice.

“Could you please stop?! I’m sick of this! He doesn’t have to hide it forever!” You looked away and continued dragging me as soon as I stopped. Hiding what now?

I don’t know what to say when I meet you. Scratch that, I didn’t even want to meet you anymore. Because what if this habit of mine comes up and actually accepts you? I’m tired of it but there’s just something that makes me want to hold onto the love or something that isn’t in you anymore.

You took me in a place so questionable as you stopped and cried. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing and yet you say it was the right place. That can’t be, right? How did this happen? Shaky hands, dry throat, words don’t come out my lips. “I’m sorry” I didn’t know why that was the only thing that escaped from my tongue. I did not accept it yet because I belived that wasn’t reality.

Lisa took me to a hospital in which I saw you laying down, unconscious.

I could do nothing but curl down. I was hurt but I never did ask for this. “Alicia, since when?”

“The doctor told me he had cancer way before you went back to Korea. This is why he didn’t want me to talk about you because he gets hurt and couldn’t even imagine what you would do in lengths just to cure him. He used to joke about how you loved him the same way he did. Side effects? Memory loss, sudden mood swings. You know, he was the same guy you knew in the past. Except, he had gotten braver of leaving you behind just so you wouldn’t get into more pain as to seeing his condition. He was very open but he thought of decisions way better when it comes to you than of himself. He loved you every single day of his life and I do know how he misses your touch, crying himself to sleep. He faced a much harder life, missy. As to the wedding, he said he had forgotten about it but it was more due to the reason of having a husband that wasn’t able to take care of until the end of the world, when he promised you to. It was because of a guy not being able to see you getting known worldwide nor exposing you in all medias, when he wanted you to. It was because of a man who simply wanted you to be happy, because he needed that too.”

This is the point where my world started to crash. It wasn’t you who should’ve known. It was me. I should’ve been there at times you need someone to rely on. I based on my selfishness and need for love, not knowing that what I need was the thing that kept me from hurting. I’m sorry for misunderstanding. I’m sorry for making things harder for you. I’m sorry for not opening up all my thoughts about you. I’m sorry because I left you fighting against the world, and I stood by just watching. I felt as if I was the person who was miserable and yet it was you who was trying to act tough.

Lisa continued to tell all those hidden words of yours “I even remembered the time he continued blaming himself for hurting you but concluded that it was everything that he could do. His situation isn’t something that can be fixed and he knows about that even if he wasn’t told about the months he have left. He told me that once you come back and see how bad of a person he is for leaving you all alone and asking you to wait, I am allowed to tell you everything once you’ve moved on.” The girl I’m talking with continued crying filling out the silence I make.

It was a shock and seeing you were the only thing that made me cry deeply. I couldn’t breathe as my chest weighed heavily. I grasped my shirt as I was desperately needing to calm down. But none of this sight made me calm down. I understood the situation I did, but it was too far, in reality, to keep it in check. You were unconscious and Lisa wanted to let me see you before your last breath. Standing up, I cried up to you.

“Idiot” I sniffed, Trying to act strong and let it all out but that’s everything I could only say. “You said our story was cliché. What happened to the true love’s kiss that wakes one up?” I kneeled down and held your hand with the ring that was encircling your fingers. I felt the cold air as tears continued flowing. I kissed your hand and gulped, crying helplessly. Is there really nothing I could do?

“The last time he saw you were way back you were able to smile again. He said it was a blissful sight to see and he would be happy even if that were to be the last time.” Lisa explained and cried her heart out as well after seeing such a painful sight.

“You do know you can see me every day right? Wouldn’t that be nice?” I tried to persuade an unconscious body who can’t hear my words. “Hey, wake up” I clasped our hands together and entwined both. “I’m here, so wake up. I’ll be with you until the end okay?” The volume of my talks gradually decreases but I still believe you can open your eyes up. I know so. I know that at this very time you could still see me and hug me, letting me feel the same warmth I needed once again. “I’ll be with you and it’s still going to be you and I against the world. Cliché right? I know you’ll never miss a chance to tease me when I take that cheesy statement. So please do. Please wake up and talk to me once again. I am here for you.. always and forevermore”

I closed my eyes and heard the beeping of the machine. I looked at you and the monitor that showed a single, straight line. I sighed deeply and my heartbeat is everything I could hear. Repeating your name, demanding you to wake up but all I could do at the end of the day is being so helpless. Even my optimism couldn’t change my mindset yet I was hopelessly begging to see your loving eyes as Lisa and the other staff held me out of the ward for the doctors to take care and clean up everything.

I wished to see those eyes I never noticed years ago. I didn’t know whether it was my selfish act or optimism that kept me not noticing all those details but if only I could see those once again, I could’ve lessened your pain before you disappeared. I was wrong but even up to this end, I hope you know that I love you and forever will do, Min.

I see it all now that you’re gone, don’t you think I was too young to be messed with? The girl in the dress cried the whole way home