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megs-98 · 4 months

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I'm Aching for You

"My mind has been haunted by your visage. Everywhere I looked, there you were; smiling that sweet smile, putting others before yourself, fiercely protecting your friends. During the nights that I could not get you out of my mind, I would turn into a bear and run halfway through the forest, yet your smell still lingered in my nose. Everything about you has beckoned me to you yet I could not."

back with another halsin x oc fic! this one for @stinadrawsthings 's beautiful tav, gia! hope yall like it! :) also trying a slightly different way of formatting these posts

Pairings: Halsin x oc!f tav (Gia)

Summary: As the shadow curse has finally been lifted, and your party ready to start towards Baldur's Gate, Halsin has asked you to meet him at his room in The Last Light Inn for a much needed conversation.

Tags: Mutual pining, making out, lots of praise, m & f receiving oral, fingering, light fem dom, vaginal sex. Really these two just finally fully confessing their feelings and fuckin like the oak father intended

Word count: 5.4k words

The comforting lights of Last Light Inn washed over the party as you approached the courtyard. There was still a faint golden glow emanating through the air as the Shadow Curse lifted from the forest, springing forth a plethora of newly grown fauna where the darkness once was. As the party came into view of the inn, it was evident that the tieflings had made it back with Jaheira safely. You smiled to yourself as you saw Rolan embracing Cal and Lia, Dammon greeting his friends, and the children happy to see their guardians once again.

“Aquilegia, a moment, please?”

Halsin’s voice was soft, but carried sharply through the celebrations. He had strayed off to the edge of the courtyard, his attempt to keep the attention off of him and on your party who rescued the tieflings and defeated Ketheric and the God of the Dead, Myrkul, as well as the tieflings as they rejoiced seeing their loved ones again.

You approached the elf as his hazel eyes trained on you. He was still covered in the viscera from the battle before, pushing his unkempt hair out of his face, greeting you with a soft smile as he looked down at you. It was a look that you were more than familiar with as it was often how he looked at you either talking to you or looking at you from across camp.

“There you are. You never cease to amaze me, Aquilegia. Watching you today was something to behold; I admire how wild your magic is at times, reminds me of myself. I can sense that we are two kindred spirits.” He said as he ran his hand down your arm, stopping at your hand, rubbing your wrist with his thumb.

You couldn’t help but hold on to every word Halsin said to you. There was no doubt that both of you were attracted to each other upon first meeting. You had expressed your interest in getting to know him better during the tiefling party not long after you met; however he, begrudgingly, encouraged you to enjoy the evening with your companions instead. You encouraged him to do the same as you left his side, but you noticed how his gaze lingered on you for the rest of the night and the days that followed.

As you smiled up at him, you saw the love and adoration in his eyes while he took you in. Halsin recognized the same look in your eyes as he took in a breath to start talking again. Just as he was, you both heard Jaheira shout to you that plans for leaving the next day need to be made as soon as possible.

“I suppose this conversation will have to wait until later, my heart. Find me in my room after the meeting has finished.” Halsin chuckled as he shifted his feet and placed a hand on your lower back. Your eyes widened slightly hearing Halsin use a term of endearment for you for the first time; you smiled and agreed to come find him later.

An hour or two had passed and Jaheira, the Harpers, and your party were satisfied with the logistics of the plan for the next day, the meeting finally coming to an end. You said goodnight to your companions as you made your way to Halsin’s room.

“Tsk, tsk, darling. Tangling yourself up with a bear the night before we leave? I can’t say I’m not impressed. Do be sure to tell me all about it in the morning, and don’t spare any of the details.” Astarion said to you as he walked past you with a glass of wine in hand. He stopped mid step and looked over his shoulder.

“My door is always open if the bear doesn’t give you what you need.” He said with a mischievous glint in his crimson eyes. Just as he finished his sentence, the door swung open, startling you both, as Halsin stood in the doorway, dressed in his camp clothes. A loose fitted linen shirt granted you access to see his muscular chest and chest hair that protruded from the edges of the garment. He wore linen trousers that were tied snuggly around his waist. You could see how his jaw was tense as he stared down Astarion before his features softened as he looked at you.

“Halsin!” You smiled at him. “I was just getting ready to knock.”

You could hear Astarion laugh to himself as he walked away. Halsin moved to the side as you stepped through the threshold, closing the door behind the two of you. There was a tension in the air that you couldn’t place. You looked over to Halsin and saw that he was bracing the wardrobe next to the door with his eyes closed. As you walked over to him, you could see the tense muscles in his back and an ever so faint glow coming off him; you could recognize that it was the same glow that happened when he wild shaped into a bear. As you gently placed a hand on his shoulder, you moved closer to him to see his face.

“Aquil-” You cut him off before he could finish his sentence.

“Please, Halsin, just Gia. I appreciate the formality, but we don’t need that. The bond we share is much too special for formalities.” You said as you gave him a soft smile. You rubbed his shoulder and noticed how his muscles began to loosen. A thought formed in your head as you scanned the room and you moved from Halsin to the other side of the room, bringing the armchair in the corner forward as you moved behind it. Halsin let out a small groan at the loss of your touch, as he watched, trying to figure out what you were doing.

“Come on, sit down.” You motioned for him over to the chair as you patted the seat of it. Halsin quirked his eyebrow at you as he strode over to the chair in just a few steps. He stood in front of the chair, looking between it and you.

“I won’t tell you again, druid. Sit.. please.” You put a hand on your hip as you waited for Halsin to comply with your request. The two of you continued to stare at each other for what felt like forever until Halsin raised his hands in defeat.

“As you wish, sorceress.” He said as he sat down, winking at you.

Once Halsin was sat down, you began massaging his shoulders again, muttering to yourself about how much stress he must have been holding on to.

Halsin cleared his throat. “Gia, do you remember at the tiefling party, outside of Emerald Grove? How you wished to know me better but I declined your offer?”

“I do recall that moment, yes. You encouraged me to enjoy the celebration. I do also distinctly remember encouraging you to do the same, but I didn’t hardly see you mingling with anyone except for Scratch and the owlbear cub. As well as some lingering glances that met my own.” You replied as you worked on an exceptionally tight knot.

Through a wince, Halsin laughed a bit. “Yes, it did seem as though I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you that night..” He said as he rolled his shoulder under your hand. “I invited you here tonight to tell you something important, something that has been on my mind since that night.”

You took your cue to move from his shoulders as you stood to the left of him, massaging his arm and hand now. You held Halsin’s gaze as you gave him a small nod, encouraging him to continue, smiling to yourself as you saw his eyes flutter shut as you massaged his forearm and hand.

“As you are familiar with my history, the last 100 years I have committed myself to fixing my mistake that caused the shadow curse and helping Thaniel, as well as leading the Emerald Grove. I did not allow for any frivolity, no matter how much I wished to.”

Halsin grabbed your hand in his and ever so slightly tugged at your arm, leading you to stand in front of him between his tensed thighs. As he took your form in, a thoughtful look on his face as he mulled over his words. You took your free hand and cupped his cheek.

“Whatever it is you need to talk about, I’m here for you. Are you having regrets about the devotion you showed?” You asked Halsin as you ran a thumb over his cheek. You felt as he leaned into your touch, a bittersweet smile on his lips.

“No, Gia, I do not have any regrets about serving the Oak Father as I did. Perhaps I wish that I had met you before everything happened so you were well and truly mine. My mind has been haunted by your visage. Everywhere I looked, there you were; smiling that sweet smile, putting others before yourself, fiercely protecting your friends. During the nights that I could not get you out of my mind, I would turn into a bear and run halfway through the forest, yet your smell still lingered in my nose. Everything about you has beckoned me to you yet I could not. I am thankful that you were patient with me and allowed me to stay by your side.”

With bated breath, you watched as Halsin spoke. You could feel the heat in your cheeks, turning them a darker shade of pink, as well as the heat you felt pooling in your stomach as you listened to the large elf’s words. The thought of Halsin being tormented by not being with you had not crossed your mind. You remembered how he had flirted with you openly but he did that with others as well, just as the rest of your companions flirted with you from time to time. However, the only person you flirted back with was Halsin. While he was a large and attractive elf, it was his humble attitude and soft nature that attracted you most to him. Halsin had told you early on in your travels with him that he was bound by a previous promise to Thaniel and could not pursue anything else until that promise was fulfilled. You had respected his wishes and believed his flirting to be for fun and nothing serious. When you flirted with him, though, that was because he was the individual you desired most and wanted him to know, even if you had to wait for him.

“I didn’t realize that you felt that way about me, Halsin. I thought the flirty banter and everything else was your small way to have fun amongst all the stress in your life.” Your hand had fallen from Halsin’s cheek at this point, having placed it on his shoulder as you listened to him speak. Halsin was leaning against the back of the chair as you had stepped closer to him.

“Gia, I am 350 years old. My heart does not stir lightly, but it does now. My body, mind, and soul yearn for you. Just as you yearn for me.” Halsin’s voice went low, just above a growl and filled with desire. “Or have I misinterpreted the way your cheeks flush when you watch me tend to things around camp? How a shiver runs down your spine every time I touch you? The lingering glances, your lust blown pupils watching my every move?”

You squeezed your thighs together, not caring to be subtle as you were desperate to have Halsin in every way that you could. It was obvious the way his hands gripped the arms of the chair and the subtle gold ripples that traveled through his eyes that Halsin was having a difficult time keeping his primal desires restrained. You didn't need to be able to see into Halsin’s mind to know exactly what he’s thinking. How he wants to grab a handful of your thighs, forcing you to sit on his lap. How he wants to tease your hardened nipples through the fabric of your dress, making you writhe under his touch as you try to roll your hips against his, your soaked core desperate for his length. You knew this because it was the exact thing that you were wanting as well and you were more than ready to become one with the man in front of you.

You placed your hand against Halsin’s neck, watching him shudder as you stroked the outer shell of his ear. A sultry smile spread across your lips as you watched how the slightest touch from you was the start of him coming undone.

“You are correct in your observations, Halsin. It’s hard not to bow to my desires when I am around you.” You watched as Halsin’s arms tightened even more, gripping the chair harder, waiting for you to allow him to touch your plush body. “Halsin… you have been the object of my desires from the first moment we met. I need you. I’m aching for you.”

Halsin’s eyes darkened more as he listened to your words. You quickly felt the warmth of his hands on the curve of your hips and how his thighs tightened around your knees. You found yourself trapped by the druid and you were right where you wanted to be. As Halsin began kneading the soft, supple skin at your hips, your hands found purchase on his shoulders. Halsin was still leaning back against the back of the chair, watching you with a smile on his face. He looked at you as if you were the only woman in the world, just as you looked at him in the same regard. You watched as Halsin’s eyes followed your hands, watching them run down the length of his broad chest, along his forearms, and as they went to the fabric of your dress hanging around your thighs. You watched as Halsin subtly licked his lips watching as you pulled your dress up around the top of your thighs, as one leg slowly came up at a time as you straddled him.

Halsin’s hands cupped your ass as you settled against his lap, feeling his hardened length as it pressed against your core. You placed his chin between your thumb and index finger which brought his eyes from your exposed thighs to your own gaze. As you cupped the sides of his face, you could feel his cock pulse against you in anticipation. A small smile pulled at the corner of your mouth as you finally placed a kiss against Halsin’s lips. The two of you sighed into each other's mouths, both having wanted this for weeks now. The light, chaste kiss soon turned into a more passionate moment as the kiss continued. Halsin’s grip on your ass would no doubt leave bruises as you worked your way down, moving from his lips to peppering kisses across his jaw and down his neck. You nibbled and sucked on his neck, leaving hickeys in your wake. Halsin’s hands continued to roam your body as you relished in his, finding the hem of your dress and finally finding your skin, hot to the touch with desire.

The feel of Halsin’s calloused hands against your body, the oaky, woodsy smell of him in your nose, the way his lips felt against yours, it was becoming overwhelming and you knew you needed more of the druid. You pulled back away from him, leaning back on his spread thighs.

“Be a good boy and take this off for me.” You said as you pulled at the fabric of his shirt. Halsin quirked an eyebrow as he looked at you and a mischievous smile formed on his lips. He quickly removed his shirt, discarding it across the room. Your hands found his body, running down the length of his torso as you began to plant kisses against his collarbone and down his chest. As you continued your work on Halsin’s body, your hands slowly found their way to his waist and you played with the hem of his pants. You heard him groan, his grip tightened on your thighs, as your hands danced lower and lower, stopping just before you reached his aching cock.

“Please, Gia, I need you to touch me more. I need to feel your skin against mine, I want to take you every way possible. I need to make you mine. Please..”

You could hear the whimper in his voice and could feel the desperation in the way he pawed at your thighs and hips. You smiled to yourself as you planted a kiss against his lips, your tongue having quickly found its way into Halsin’s mouth. The elf moaned into your mouth as you rolled your hips against his, causing his hips to buck into yours. The tips of your fingers made their way back to the hem of his pants, where they were tied shut, you could feel as Halsin tensed under your touch, desperately wanting you to finally take out his cock. You made quick work of the strings and slowly pulled the garment away from his body.

As you pulled your mouth away from Halsin’s, you got on your feet motioning for him to stand as well. He was quick to do so and his hands found your body again, one hand on your clothed breast and the other at the base of your neck, fingers tangled in your hair, as he gave you another passionate kiss. Gripping his waist, you steadied yourself as he continued kissing and grinding his hips against you. Your free hand returned to his pants as you continued to pull them off the man, with him quick to help you so he could go back to kneading your tit. As your hand gave his cock a light touch, you could feel Halsin shudder under your touch. He lifted his head to catch your gaze just as he rested his forehead against yours. You could see the want and desire in his eyes while you took the tip of his cock in your hand, giving it a slow stroke as you spread precum down the length of it. The hand he had on the back of your neck gripped your hair tight and his eyes rolled back as he felt your soft hand finally on his cock. You placed both hands on his chest, eyes going from the chair back to his eyes, as you pressed against him. Halsin recognized your silent request and immediately sat down, hooking his arms around your thighs to pull you back to him. As you ran your hands down Halsin’s thighs and over his knees, you sank to the floor in front of him and began stroking his cock again.

“I don’t want you to cum until I tell you too.”

“Oak father preserve me..” Halsin muttered under his breath as he cupped your cheek, running his thumb across your bottom lip. You kept your eyes on Halsin as you moved his hand and began kissing his thighs, adoring how you could feel his body tremor for you, silently begging you to take his throbbing cock in his mouth. It was a request you could no longer deny him nor yourself. Your eyes still on him, you sank your mouth around him, only able to take him halfway as you accommodated his size. You felt as Halsin pulled your hair back to keep it out of the way for you as you used one of your hands to stroke his cock as you began bobbing your head. It wasn’t long before you were able to speed up and take him farther down your throat, feeling as he twitched against you whenever you gagged on his thick cock. As you continued your work on him, you savored the way his breath became ragged and how he pulled your hair the closer and closer you brought him to the edge. You could see the way his core tightened every time your tongue ran across the tip and underside of him, how he attempted to will himself not to cum yet.

You continued your work on the elf, feeling how he was clenching your hair in his fist and how he arched his back off the chair, you knew that he was close. You pulled both your hand and mouth away from him, watching as his face contorted in a disheartened manner at the loss of you against him.

“I didn’t tell you you could cum yet, did I? Can you be good and beg for it?” You ran your hands down his thighs as you looked at him through your lashes.

“Gia, please. Please, I want you to make me cum. Gods, please.” He grabbed your hand, lacing his fingers between yours, as he begged for his release.

You sat up on your knees, bringing his face to yours as you gave him a kiss. “How could I say no to such a good boy?” You felt as he leaned into your touch, his eyes full of reverence as he watched you level with his cock again and take him back into your mouth. You took him as deep as you could, slowly sucking his cock as tears came to your eyes as you tried to take him all the way to the hilt. You hollowed your cheeks and began bobbing your head up and down again. It wasn’t long before he was close again as he squeezed your hand tightly in his hand. You continued your pace, your free finding his balls as you rolled them in your hands, adding to the ecstasy he was already overwhelmed with. With one last gag around his cock as you took him as deep as you could, you felt him release his cum down your throat as he moaned your name like a prayer.

Halsin was breathing hard as he leaned down to catch your lips against his, the taste of his own finish still on your breath. He pulled you up with him as he stood, his hands finding their way under your ass as he picked you up, guiding your legs around his hips. You let out a small yelp as he lifted you, grabbing onto his shoulders. You were quick to realize that he was walking over to the bed as you looked over your shoulder.

Halsin laid you against the creaky mattress, keeping his frame on you as his mouth made its way back to yours while his hands trailed up your thighs. You moaned into his mouth as he felt his fingers hook into your small clothes, pulling at them. Halsin pulled away from you, sitting on his knees, as he lifted your dress up around your waist.

“Little dove, I want to make you feel as you make me feel. I need to taste you. I need to feel my tongue against you.. I need to feel you cum around my fingers.” Halsin said as he looked at you with a desperation you hadn’t seen from someone before. He leaned down, bringing his face closer to yours as he waited for you to answer.

“I want nothing more than that, Halsin. I want you to make me yours.” You said to your lover as you returned to pressing a passionate kiss against him while you raised your hips to help him get your small clothes off quicker. Halsin moved from kissing your soft lips to moving down to your jawline peppering it with featherlight kisses as he moved lower to your neck. You felt as his lips became more hungry, his tongue lavishing the same areas his lips were, feeling as he sucked down on your neck, feeling his canines nip your skin. You hissed out a moan that only spurred the man on, feeling his fingers grab your hip tighter. He moved lower now, reaching your still clothed tits. You sat up on your elbows and helped as he finally took off your dress.

“Gods, you’re more beautiful than anything I have imagined, my heart.” Halsin said to you as he took one of your hardened nipples in his mouth, sucking on it, leaving another one of his marks on you, before he released it with a loud pop as he grabbed your other tit and rolled your nipple between two of his fingers. As you whined and writhed under his touch, you moaned and felt as you clenched your cunt around nothing, beginning to feel desperate to feel Halsin where you needed him most. You could hear Halsin groan into your chest as he went between both of your breasts, as he interchanged biting, sucking, and fondling them.

After Halsin showed your tits more than enough attention, he continued down your body as he kept showering you in kisses and muffled praises. Once he reached your core, he laid himself down between your thighs and brought them over his shoulders. You watched in anticipation as he kissed your folds then placed one long, broad lick from your wet entrance to your clit. Your head fell back as a groan of pure pleasure and bucked into Halsin’s face. You felt as his mouth closed around your clit, swirling his tongue around the bundle of nerves before he started sucking on it. Your fingers tightly threaded through his hair as your hand made its way down to his head, causing him to moan into you.

Your breath had quickened and you could see yourself falling over the edge soon if Halsin kept the merciless pace against your clit. Before you could voice a request to him, you felt one of Halsin’s fingers was sliding between your folds, getting it wet before he slowly stuck it in. Your eyes rolled back as a breathy moan escaped you and you could feel Halsin smiling against you, pleased with your reaction to his intrusion. You continued to moan Halsin’s name as he pumped his finger in and out of you and as he added a second finger. You gripped his hair even tighter and tried to scoot away from him as you were, once again, overwhelmed by having him in almost all your senses. Halsin finally pulled away from your overstimulated clit, giving it one last flick with his tongue as your whole body shuddered in response. He moved beside you and used his free hand to grab your jaw as he rested his forehead against yours, all while his other hand was still thrusting in and out of you and curling into your sweet spot.

“That’s it, my heart. Just like that.. You’re doing so well for me. Cum on my fingers, let go for me.” Halsin said to you as he looked into your eyes. He only felt more spurred in this moment, finally able to see how completely and utterly fucked out you looked and you hadn’t even had your first orgasm yet. He wrapped his free arm around your waist, pulling you close to him as he continued fucking you with his fingers. It wasn’t long before your nails were dug into his forearm and chest as you begged him not to stop. Halsin watched as came completely undone, moaning his name while you clenched around his fingers as your orgasm ripped through you. He kept thrusting his fingers, pace slowing down, as you caught your breath before he pulled his hand away from you. The bed shifted as he hovered above you again, placing a kiss against your temple.

“The oak father blesses me this day.. You are the most beautiful of all of nature’s bounties.” Halsin sat back on his heels as he took in your form. He ran his hands down your body as he mapped out every curve of your body, committing it to his memory. Once he was content that you had recovered from your orgasm, Halsin spread your legs open wider with his thighs as he lined his cock up to your pussy. He put his cock in you with shallow thrusts as you both moaned in unison. He did this for a moment before he heard you ask for more through waves of pleasure. Halsin pulled out as he put your ankles on his shoulders and leaned forward, caging your head between his elbows with your knees pulled as high as they would go.

“Oh, gods, Halsin. Please. I need you to make me yours.” You said to him, desperation and lust dripping off your words. You heard a growl come from Halsin as he sank himself back into you all the way to the hilt. He slowly began thrusting in and out of you, the new position he put you in allowed him to hit just the right spot, causing you to quickly come close to another orgasm. Halsin began thrusting faster and harder as he felt your cunt clench around his cock as he leaned down to take a nipple in his mouth again. You came at the sensation, moaning Halsin’s name as you did. He didn’t stop, though, fucking you harder now as he brought your thighs together using them for this hand to find purchase on as he sat up. His other hand wandered to the side of your throat as he applied just the right amount of pressure for you to get the most pleasure as he continued his fast pace, chasing after his own orgasm.

As you encroached on your 4th orgasm, you could do little more than moan and whine from overstimulation as Halsin continued fucking into you. He brought your legs down, snaking them around his waist and he leaned into you again as he cupped your face, stroking your cheekbone.

“I just need one more, little dove. Can you do that for me? Or we can stop if that is what you’d like.” Halsin looked at you with such adoration your heart melted as you furiously shook your head, encouraging him to keep going. Halsin began kissing you again as he started rutting into you again. You kept him close to you this time, your body tired from Halsin’s relentless pace and multiple orgasms. He kept his face buried in the crock of your neck as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, digging your nails into him as you held on. He could feel that you were close as your thighs tightened around him. He moved one of his hands between the two of you as the pad of his thumb found your clit. You let out a cry of his name as he moved his thumb in circles over the sensitive bundle of nerves.

“Oohhnh, Halsin! I’m close.. ‘M so close.” You moaned into his ear as your nails left indents in his flesh.

“There you go, my heart, there you go. Just one more.. Be a good girl for me.” As Halsin’s words fell on your ears, you felt as the taut cord in you snapped once more. You peppered kisses on Halsin’s ear as you came down from your high. Halsin’s pace stuttered, his own edge nearing. With his face still buried in your neck, you felt him kissing your neck and shoulder as his pace continued to get even sloppier. Halsin gave you a couple more hard thrusts before he came in your pussy with a loud moan of your name. He fucked you slow as he rode out his high, pulling out once he knew you had taken all of his cum.

Halsin left your side as you laid there, trying to catch your breath. You could hear water pouring before his footsteps made their way back to the bed. He placed a cool cloth between your legs, causing you to jump and close your legs tight. He reassured you that it was just him and that he was cleaning you up and gently as he could. You conceded and let your legs fall back open as you felt the cloth run across your overstimulated body. Once Halsin had finished, he placed the cloth on the side table and laid down next to you, wrapping you in his arms and pulling you close as you yawned.

“We can talk more tomorrow, my heart, rest now. Just now that I am yours; mind, body, and soul as long as you’ll have me.” He said to you before placing one last passionate kiss against your lips. You returned his kiss and hummed in acknowledgement, now too exhausted as sleep too over you to give a proper answer. As you fell asleep in Halsin’s warm embrace, you knew that this was the start of something beautiful and that you would cherish this night for the rest of your life.

#bg3 #fanfic #halsin x oc #halsin #oc #halsin silverbough #named tav

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feywildfox · 8 months

Text

drowned dogs and chain fences

Rating: Explicit

Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)

Relationships: Roy Harper & Jason Todd, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd

Characters: Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Roy Harper

Additional Tags: #Dead Dove: Do Not Eat #Character Death #Violence #Blood and Gore #Trauma #Traumatized Jason Todd #Heavy Angst #Resurrected Jason Todd #You Have Been Warned

Word count: 1,587

Summary:

How do you forgive someone who let you die? Who buried you, six feet deep in the regret and grief of a lost child - and yet let your killer live. The person who expects you to greet them with a smile and open arms. Who's very visage inspires hatred and rage so great it leaves you breathless. How do you forgive? Jason can't. He doesn't know anyone who could I.E. jason todd has done a lot in his life. he's also been through some supremely traumatic things and has a perfectly valid reason for being an antihero who kills. changing that example of what happens when batman's "morals" cost the life of someone he supposedly cares about is boring. so here we are.

Chapter 1: fumes of tomorrow

Jason Todd is fine. He's fine. Really, he's totally okay. He hates Bruce Wayne, but it's fine. He's surviving. Maybe he's even healing or something dumb like "Accepting and moving on from his trauma" and whatever other shit Tim would say.

Tim annoys him, but Jason can vaguely see the good intent behind it. Damien is a complete ass though, and Jason likes that more. The ‘family’, if one could call whatever it is that, surrounds him sometimes. They care, or at the least pretend to. But Jason doesn't really care. He could do without Tim, or Damien, or Stephanie, or any of them. Especially Bruce, the self-righteous asshole.

Well. Except for Dick. Probably.

It's the whole reason, almost, for the changes; the rubber bullets and the restrained violence. It's all for Dick. It was the only way Dick would even look at him, much less talk. Years of restrictions, preventing himself from punishing those who deserved it. Evil just allowed to walk free because Batman didn't like doing what was needed.

And Dick, loosely, followed that. He couldn't truly understand what it was like.

The gasping pain, the dull ache that spread after the sharp crack of broken bone. The blood clogging his lungs, drowning in it the way one drowned at sea. It's the break of finally, really and truly begging for his life. For Bruce to save him like everyone else. To be rescued and carried away, to be loved in your moments of pain.

The hero never comes, in this one. It's the story of Jason's life.

So really, none of them understand. Dick doesn't, but he tried. Still tries, even if his affections and attentions are conditional. Jason is a beaten dog tied to his master, and he will crawl back eventually. Bruce just doesn't understand it's not he who is the master.

Maybe he'll never understand. Jason wishes he would. Bruce wont stop trying and it drives him nuts.

Jason can't. He doesn't know anyone who could.

(Maybe Superman, they guy is as close to a saint in patience as one can get.)

Jason's rage bloomed with his rebirth, and his morals broke in that filthy alley full of trash. The innocence and willingness to keep his hands "clean" stayed buried when he clawed his way out of the dirt above his coffin. The hole filled in with slushy mud, cold sleet steeped in Gotham's chemicals rinsed the silt from his mouth, wetted his lips anew, and Jason Todd knew he wasn't the same person anymore. He died that day, and part of him stayed dead. No one understands what that's like.

He doesn't think he'll meet anyone who does.

Jason can live with that, as long as Dick is there. Rose too. She is a flower that blooms once a year, but is still someone who he knows he can lean on; though Jason's a stubborn bastard and doesn't do it often. Artemis is similar, though more adamant about keeping in touch. It's a small group, and maybe even Kori counts, after Dick had reintroduced them.

Roy has been his biggest supporter, truly. Even when Jason was lost in the depths of his soul, the madness of dying and coming back but not like the Jason before - Roy was there. Bandages after one to many syndicate beatdowns, antibiotics to fight infections, even his support when Jason gave his rage more fuel. The deaths of the gang members feeding it like gasoline. Roy was there to watch his back. Always has that stupid shit-eating grin and the most asinine of quips. Roy is always there.

They're his family. That's all that matters to Jason. He would do anything, has done things, to try and keep them safe, happy. Jason would sooner gnaw off his arm than let one come to true harm.

Which frankly, is a herculean task with their line of work.

It's all okay though. He's meeting Roy and Dick for coffee, even though the two are genial and that's it. It's one of those rare sunny days in Gotham, the cloud cover light enough that blue sky is crackling through light grey. Weak winter light soaks into his upturned face, and Jason breathes the fumes of a rotten city. He gives a twitch of lips that might constitute a smile.

The coffee shop is across the street, he can see Roy sitting in the back corner next to the kitchen door. He's drinking what Jason knows to be the most outrageous coffee order he can think of, that he's sure to hear about when he makes it in. The windows are bar-free in this nicer part of Gotham. The part that gets the money to rebuild more than others. It's why he picked it. Somewhere totally unlikely for him to be. A hidden-in-plain-sight sort of deal. He won't be caught dead in this sort of place. Makes it perfect to get out of the house for a few hours, meet up, and pretend to relax.

The crosswalk light flickers half-heartedly and he begins to move. The windows dimly reflect the sun. His eyes dart around for a second, but end up back on Roy. Jason always keeps tabs on his family.

The door next to Roy opens as Jason makes it halfway across the street. He meets the eyes of the server that steps out, pale skinny legs awkward under the skirt of the uniform. Something sparks in his head, recognition that he can't place. The face mask the worker wears is a lurid purple, and the shit-brown eyes above it dart manically around after they meet his. It makes Jason's pulse race. It hits him moments too late.

No. His heart jumps to his throat, he shoves the person in front of him to the side but there's nothing he can do as the nightmare of his fantasies pulls a gun from the apron he's wearing, and then Roy slumps, dead.

The flash is so bright, a supernova of red mist as the side of Roy's face disappears. The patrons start screaming, running, Jason can't get inside. There's mad cackling as the spectre of his death does a pirouette and shoots indiscriminately, breaking windows and hitting pedestrians. A car screeches to a stop outside - lime green 1960s VW Bug his mind categorizes - and the Joker clambers over broken glass and bodies as Jason finally, finally, makes it inside.

He's torn, the raging sea inside quelled by the feral need to protect, to lick the wounds of his family and make sure Roy is alright. That wins out, and once again the Joker gets away. The man waggles his fingers at Jason, blowing a pantomime of a kiss goodbye.

Jason lets out a guttural scream, lost in the pandemonium around him.

The booth is red. The floor is red. The bodies that aren't Roys stain his shoes with death. It smells like viscera and iron, heavy on his tongue.

It's - it's a dream. One of his many nightmares he just needs to wake the fuck up from. Roy will pop up and laugh at him, the coffee spilled on the table drip drip drip dripping down his lap a lament on his tongue as he orders a new one.

Roy doesn't get up.

Exposed orbital bone peaks between jagged edges of flesh, grey matter and brain more mush than formed organ. Jason reaches a shaking hand to the - the body? Roy is dead.

A shake to the shoulder only achieves a limp arm sliding onto the seat. His left hand sits on the table, brown button up wet and dark. There's a ring on his hand Jason has never seen before. It's shiny, new. The band is silver. Jason wants to puke.

“Roy. Roy? Wake up. Did Dick put you up to this?” His voice is hoarse and rough. The blunt edge of panic is close to the surface. Jason's face is cold. Something drips down his chin. He ignores it.

The cuff of his cream turtleneck he'd stolen from Dick’s closet is pink. He grips Roy's soaked shoulder, tries to move him sitting up. The thing-that-should-be-Roy flops over, red hair in disarray, solitary eye unseeing. A garbled whine gets caught in Jason's throat.

The distant sirens scream, circling ever closer. Figures that Gotham cops would actually show up here.

A crunch behind him in the suddenly realized silence has Jason whirling, drawing the hidden gun. Roy is dead roy is dead hesdeaddeadead Protect hesDEAD -

It's Dick.

Or, rather, Nightwing. The blue bird stands starkly against the black, barrel of the gun firmly pressed to the center.

Dick - Nightwing - has his hands firmly up by his head, and Jason realizes that he's being talked to. The droning in his ears slowly turns to words.

“- it's me, you know me. We need to go, okay? I know you don't want to leave him but the cops are almost here,” the muttered ‘for once’ drags a gasping chuckle out of his mouth.

The gun wavers. Jason should see it coming but - hesdeadandtheworldiswrong - Nightwing is just fast enough to catch an off-kilter Jason off guard, and the world goes black.

#batfam #jason todd #dick grayson #red hood #dc comics #roy harper #nightwing #dead dove do not eat #dead dove fic

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