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rise-my-angel · 4 months ago

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Heart of the Great Wolf

The Aftermath of Envy

Pairing: Jon Snow x F!Baratheon!Reader

Length: 21.9k

Warnings: angst/hurt comfort, past mentions of domestic and sexual abuse, jealousy and possessive tendencies, smut, oral (f receiving), slight exhibitionism, outdoor sex, smut, p in v, breeding kink

Notes: This is a part 3 to the modern!au, and a direct continuation of the previous chapter. A part 4 is also in the works already. Previous Installment Here, Series Masterlist Here

He was acting strange, that much Jon had been able to figure out right away. From the time Robb had come back from work, the day Jon had come home to make amends for his mistakes with you, he could tell that there was something itching in the back of Robbs head. But Jon had no idea what it was specifically. Nor did he initially think he should have good reason too. The Starks all knew that if one of them had a personal issue that they wanted others in on, they’d share it. Plain and simple. Prying wasn’t their norm.

Besides, Jon had more to focus on. In around a week, it would mark two months since he had begun to fix what he caused with you, and Jon could safely say he refused to slack on it. Every boyfriend you had before treated you so horribly, that it was as if you had become hardwired to accept terrible behaviour from your partner, and to put the blame upon yourself. If Jon thought he was to work hard to ensure you without a doubt understood he never meant to hurt you nor would he do it again, he was working even harder to practically teach you to stop putting the weight of his faults onto your shoulders.

One of his more eye opening moments about his brother though, took place in the two weeks Jon had off. Suggesting that he and you should take some time to be just with the others company for a few days. So the next morning, he had driven you and Ghost to a more secluded part of the wolfswood. Just you both and his direwolf hiking and camping where there was no one to interrupt. He had you sitting firmly back in his arms by the fire as evening fell over top of you three, Ghost practically laying across your feet when you said it.

It was passing, but Jon couldn’t ignore it. “Has Robb said anything to you?” His head leaned a bit over your shoulders with a furrowed brow in question. “About the night he picked me up from the bar?” Jon answering lowly no, and why only to find a frustration in the answer. “Sometimes it feels like he’s been hovering over me ever since. Like he doesn’t trust I’m not going to end up doing the same thing all over again. I mean, I know my track record isn’t what some would call pristine, but-”

Jon pulled you a tad closer into his chest with a mumbled rasp, the fire reflecting staunchly in his grey eyes as he glared into it. “I wouldn’t worry about that, darling. Robb just cares about you.” But it was then Jon begun to wonder.

Perhaps his brother was caring a little too much about you all of the sudden.

But, he didn’t want to focus on that. Not then. Not when he had you out there all to himself and much to make up for. His head leaned down, seeking out your neck as one hand around you raised to gently pull some of your hair from out of his way. Lips finding their way to the sensitive skin, but never so much that it was rough. Gently brushes of his tongue as it to mark out the path he was to kiss along, following suit as his other hand begun to run down more along your hipbone. Where the pants on you sat, he pushed your sweater up just enough to let his fingertips brush of the skin there.

Rasping low as he let his lips move along the skin to just under your ear, vibrating deep within you. “I want you to be honest with me. If something bad happened to you, before we started dating, you’d tell me, right?” Your head tilting almost in question, did he press another kiss tot he same spot. “With your ex’s, or any other men you’ve known. If one of them did something to you, you know I’d want you to tell me right?”

He could tell that there was a bit of confusion regarding what it was specifically he was getting at, or you did not understand what he was trying to bring up. “Jon, I promise I won’t worry ever again that you’re anything like them-”

Another kiss to the same spot, Jon pressed his hand more firmly against your stomach to tug you back closer, were such a thing even possible. “I’m not suggesting you think otherwise, it’s alright. But I love you, and I can’t take care of you properly if I don’t know everything I’m protecting you from.” Jon took no offence to your initial silence. Still he was the one who said it more, who was more free in wanting to say it more without any worry any longer of what the other felt.

You knew that too, but Jon had no problem letting you take your time getting used to saying it out loud. “It’s all in the past, I don’t even think about any of it anymore.” Jon only hummed, the sound as if you understood he did not quite believe what you said but hadn’t pushed it. “Besides, you know about Ramsay, about Karl.”

Not all of it, he thought. He was certain you didn’t really tell him the full truth about either. He knew that Ramsay was cruel to you in bed, and considering how shy you could be with him still now, it clearly had more impact then none. And he knew for a fact you didn’t want to tell him anything of what really went on when you were living five hours away from Jon with Karl Tanner. Already you had put together that Jon learned something about Viserys, but you had promised him nothing physical happened that went too far before it was stopped.

Jon didn’t quite know how to tell you then, that such a thing wasn’t of much comfort when the man had clearly tried it in the first place. Instead, he let his hand run along the skin by your hip, teasing the idea of letting his fingertips sink beneath the fabric. “You don’t talk about either of them much, I want to know you’re alright with this. With us, if there are things you still are struggling with from them.”

You leaned back into his front more innocently, as if only snuggling further into his warmth like you hadn’t noticed the manner which his hand suggested his thoughts were headed. “I’m fine, I promise. They’re gone and I don’t want to think about them anymore when I’m with you. At all.” A small smile left Jon as he nudged the side of your head with his, muttering that it was a deal. He still had a few days out in the wolfswood with you, and he was going to enjoy it.

Which was quite easy, when he had finally let his hand drift downwards, sinking below all layers adorning your bottom half and letting two fingers find your clit without second thought.

By the time he had gotten the three of you home, Jon spared little time in the late hours prompting you into the shower. Muttering with a nudge that he’d put your stuff away in his room before coming to join you. The apartment had been silent, and all three of you silent with it to ensure you didn’t wake up Robb or Theon.

Peeling off his heaviest layers, Jon finally yanked off his shirt, and let his curls finally fall loose, opening the door to join as he knew your routine meant you’d hardly be passed the washing the sweat and grime off of yourself. What he hadn’t expected, was Ghost to be the one to give away that you had all come back.

Apparently, the direwolf had made his way into Robbs room to greet Greywind. Both direwolves thus waking Robb up, but what Jon too hadn’t expected, was to leave his room to join you and find Robb near that side of the apartment. With a smirk nudging for Ghost and Greywind to go sleep before they made a huge ruckus. Yet when his eyes glanced up to Jon, his own blue eyes darted from Jon to the semi closed door of the bathroom Jon shared with you, and back to him where his brows narrowed at the clear sight of what he was watching about to happen.

It was not anything he had never said before, but it was the manner which he said it. As if any tone of jesting or even genuinity was being masked behind a thick layer of something bitter. “Welcome back, Snow.”

Jons silent nod being painted with a rather apprehensive expression, was certainly not passed Robbs notice either.

There was a tense air between the brothers before Robb prompted Greywind to come back and get some sleep once more, leaving Jon in the hall with a confusion as to what exactly had just taken place and what it was Robb was trying to convey in what looked like a barley held back glare. Jon knew though, if he thought about it for any longer, he may not appreciate whatever conclusion he’d end up at, so he pushed it down.

And thought little of the fact that he hadn’t heard Robb’s door close, meaning it was obvious when Jon slipped into the bathroom where you were showering, and locked the door behind him. Closing it all off to his brothers final listening ears.

But, it was easy to forget all of that right away. Just enough steam filling the room that he knew you likely turned the water up hotter then you normally liked it, to counter how cold the past few nights had been for you both. The only warmth you could get was by a fire, and at night when you, him, and Ghost would all cuddle close together without a second thought.

The steam however, was not enough to mask the view. Not quite clear glass, but the door to his shower was opaque. A sort of crystal looking design that blurred specific details but not enough that Jon missed the sight of you perfectly. He could smell the faint trace of lavender in the air, knowing you had just finished cleaning off, and he could see your body arched back so the water could soak your hair.

Perfect. He arrived at the perfect time to slip in, and wash your hair for you. Stripping from the rest of his clothes, Jon muttered gently as he pulled the shower door open, “It’s just me, darling.” Before you even had the chance to jump and gasp in surprise. Standing up straighter, Jon grinned right away at how your hands twitched. Reaching up to cover yourself before remembering that he had seen this sight of your bare frame, more then many times. His own as well nude without shame as he closed the door.

Pulling you close by your hips, your soaked frame pressed close to his, as your hands rested against his chest up by his shoulders. Your eyes bright and innocent despite the splash of a fluster in them everytime he’d join you in the shower like this. “We weren’t too loud, were we?”

His grin grew brighter, while he had no doubt come in here to partially wash off the days grime, but also didn’t even think twice about joining you with a very specific intention, you could only think of the others in the apartment with a genuine worry your late arrival had been disruptive. If you suspected Jon wasn’t being honest, you didn’t say anything. “I think Ghost might have woken up Greywind, but no, otherwise we’re fine.”

His hand drifting up to nudge under your chin to look up at him better. Before he could even do anything further though, did you slip from his grasp to turn around. Reaching for the hanging rack for his stuff. He had two sets now, normally fine with bar soap, considering how little chance north of the Wall he’d get to have a proper shower when he and Tormund were out in the Haunted Forest. But you had gotten him things now that you’d share the shower with him. A proper cloth and a liquid soap version so that you could do it for him.

His eyes brightened as they playfully narrowed. “So you get to clean me, but I don’t get to wash you?” You only shook your head, holding a bright smirk back as you lathered it together. Prompting him to exchange spots with you so he was directly in the hot water.

You got to work without second thoughts, or alternate intentions and it made his heart soar. You didn’t do it because you felt obligated or were trying to appease his needs for something else, you did it because you just enjoyed taking care of him right back. The only girl in his life who ever had. Jon though, considered himself lucky that he did not make you feel that pressure when you knelt down.

It was a sight, bare and water soaking you as you were on your knees so close to his cock, but he wasn’t enticed by you in that way. Not really. If he preferred to keep any act to a far more limited occasion, it was that. The feeling you gave him was not the issue, far from that, Jon had only let you take his length into your mouth once and it was a heavenly feeling. But he also felt more out of control, how easy it would be to lose himself and be too rough, too deep, too demanding and make you feel unsafe.

Instead, even through his blood beginning to warm, Jon found it within himself to keep his composure as long as it took for him to help you stand up onto your feet before he felt too overwhelmed. Standing behind him now, Jon muttered your name low even over the water. “Are you taking your time on purpose?”

Your hands stopped mid movement as you ran the cloth down his back to finish, wide eyes looking up to where he turned partway to meet your gaze. A playful but dark haze begun to flow over his eyes against your much more innocent ones, much to his cocks want. “I was only trying to-”

But he cut you off, knowing exactly what was about to come out of your mouth. “Trying to make me feel good?” He said nothing, and something of a smirk wanted to peek through as you slowly nodded. “You know that’s my job right?” Your brows furrowed instantly.

A protest so genuine when you said it. “Why isn’t that my job as well?”

That time he let the chuckle deep from his chest come out. Turning to face you, he grabbed the cloth from your hand as he blindly reached back to hang it up. His hands smoothing down along your sides as he kept you close but at a distance enough that he wouldn’t make you feel as if his growingly hard length was to pressure you into anything. But his eyes remained bright as yours were, hinted with an adoration at how innocent you always looked at him even in such intimate situations. As if all your trust was in his hands, which it was. His rasp low, but warm as he moved one hand to cup your cheek. “Because making you feel good, is what makes me feel good. I don’t need you to do anything to please me, you already do.” Muttering that you hadn’t done anything yet as your hands reached to gently hold at his waist did Jon chuckle again.

He contemplated not saying it, knowing the embarrassed fluster that would come over you, but instead he swiftly turned you around. Reaching for his shampoo instead of yours, Jon spared no time carefully running it through your soft hair.

Though in retrospective, perhaps that was worse. As now he could rasp it so close to your ear, and the feeling of his cock twitching hard against your ass not at all hiding how worked up he felt. “Do you remember what you said to me the first time we slept together?”

As expected, already did the embarrassed fluster come over you. “I feel like I said too much..”

Laughing much more freely, Jon massaged his hands against your scalp as if to distract you somewhat from going in the wrong direction. “You didn’t understand why I’d want to taste you.” Your hands tensed at your sides, not knowing what to do as your muscles tensed nervously. For your sake, Jon downplayed it severely. “I heard you once, through the walls of our rooms. A few months ago, a beautiful moan. The second I heard that, all I could do was imagine that sound coming from you with my mouth between your legs.” Blindly reaching up to turn the water pressure lighter before unhooking the shower head. “I got off to that thought more then you know.”

Carefully beginning to rinse your hair out, it was a lot easier to hear the shaking nerves in your voice but Jon now knew so well too what the underlying desire also sounded like when you tried to hide it from him. “That still doesn’t explain-”

Cutting you off, it was something truly raw as he said it, no filter like it came without warning from his throat to speak. “I can’t explain that, darling. Touching you, tasting you, it feels better for me then you could ever imagine. How close I’ve gotten sometimes just from how long I’ve kept you pinned to my mouth alone.”

That was a shiver, in this hot water he felt a shiver and he knew he had you. Carefully putting the shower head back, Jon watched you stand for a moment without him with your hands tensed and curled up, but if you thought he wouldn’t notice the way you pressed your thighs together just the tiniest bit more, you were wrong. Jon saw all of it, how much you tried to force away how turned on you were, and he could only smile.

Through that heated blood desperate to take you, was a part of Jons heart that thought you were cute for thinking you had any reason to hide your want from him still. Pulling you suddenly into his chest, his hands sat with one firm at your hip, and the other against your lower stomach, fingers tracing along your hipbones if not peeking lower. Rough in your ear, that time he knew there was no hiding how painfully hard he was against the perfect plushness of your ass. “You know what else I love doing?”

Swallowing roughly, you shook your head and that fight of feral and adoring once more conflicted Jon until the animal within him clawed it’s way out. He didn’t even bother answering you, as the low hand suddenly sunk down pressing against your clit as you jolted with a gasp, Jon moved the hand on his hip to slide between your legs, two fingers sinking deep.

Jon’s head dropped to your neck for a moment, a growl erupting from him. He didn’t expect you to be this soaking wet, but you were. You had been so much more turned on then you let on and Jon felt no ability to waste time anymore. Running his fingers over your clit, he pressed firmly as well as found small, tight patterns that had your hand grasp at his forearm and wrist almost needing to steady yourself, cries coming freely from you without any stopping.

Each time you got used to one, did Jon change what he did. Seeking what worked best and what tormented you the most with his teasing and flipped between each. All the while never once did he cease to glide his fingers in and out of your clenching wetness. Your other hand grasped at the same arm of his, eyes slipping closed as your lips remained parted. Small cries coming from you again and again as you failed to regain your breath.

Jon tried, he tried so hard to resist that temptation. But he knew it was inevitable. Pulling them close to all the way out of you, Jon suddenly let his fingers slide as deep as they could back inside of you as he added a third so soon. Increasing the pressure against your clit as Jon used that leverage to pull you back against him with a grunt. Now with every knowledge he wanted you to feel his cock pushing against you, his own breathing rough and laboured as you no longer had any.

Rasping in your ear, Jon felt you clenching so tightly around him that he throbbed against you. “I should’ve pulled over.” Not able to even ask him anything, he read you perfectly without a single need for words. “Tonight. I should’ve pulled over. Drag you up onto my lap and take you then and there.”

Drawing you closer to your end, your voice had no air to accompany it but a desperation as you leaned back into his touch more. “There were...people on the road..someone would’ve seen-”

If that was supposed to deter his fantasy, Jon felt you should’ve known better by then. His car was a dangerous place to take you, now more then ever. He had little patience in there, and little care for anything but how you felt around him. His rubbing against your clit worked in tandem with the rhythm of three fingers deep moving in and out of you as your nails dug into his skin. “Good.” A confused cry of pleasure burst from your mouth and Jon nearly said all of it without realizing the words until they already left his mouth. “Next time I’ll strip you bare, bounce you on my cock until someone finally pulls over to watch.”

“You- you’d want someone to-”

Cutting you off, Jon dropped his head down to your neck again, muffled and hissing against you as he felt you so close needing one final push and his mouth allowed that to aid you in the form of depravity. “I’d let a hundred men watch, just so they know what they’ll never have, what I’ll never let anyone else ever have again.”

It was enough, the feeling of your orgasm flooding your veins too drew Jon closer as well. Rubbing tightly at the bundle of nerves until you could only try and jump away from his touch did Jon pull from you, his fingers soaked beyond what the water surrounding you did. Turning you suddenly to face him, did Jon just as quickly shove you up against the far side of the shower out of the waters direct stream.

Hands grabbing at your wrists he raised them up against the tiles above your head, as he captured your lips with his. Biting and deepening the kiss without a second thought did he press his front against yours. Keeping you pinned and nowhere to go but to beg into his mouth as he refused to give you the air to vocalize it.

Your body arched up into his, with Jon responding with biting down on your bottom lip until you gasped for him. Letting his tongue slide into your mouth, he spared no time brushing up against yours as your stances both allowed his cock to slip between your legs. Pressed up against your soaking core you whined and hands tensed against his hold, but never even considered leaving his kiss for a moment.

Shifting so one hand could hold both wrists, Jon never left your kiss. Guiding you to follow and explore him as much as he did you, did Jon take that distraction to grip his cock. Timing it with perfect cruelty, did Jon part from your lips, saliva traces connecting you as his dark eyes stared down at you at the same instance he shoved his length deep inside your soaking cunt.

The cry from you was beautiful, even better then a single sound he ever heard through his walls or from his imagination. Throbbing already, Jon kept a grip at your hip to steady you. He had thought he’d go slow, but he didn’t. Not at all. Cock dragging against your sensitive walls, your eyes looked up to his with a silent obedience. He loved to watch you, and you obeyed without even a command. Throbbing inside of you more, you responded by clenching so tightly around his cock that he had to make each thrust that much more pounding rough to sink as deep each time.

You were unfairly tight around him, so warm and yet you took his length so well. Jon could barley decide as he roughly pressed his lips to yours once more, if he had just perfectly moulded you into taking his cock alone, or if you had just been born to have Jon sink so deeply inside you every single chance he got.

Part of him bit at your lips as the thought growled through his chest. He should’ve done something about this long ago. He couldn’t even imagine if he had been brave enough years before, kiss you, tell you how he felt. How long he could’ve been making love to you just like this over and over. He throbbed at one thought in particular, but as soon as it drove his mind to see and feel a burning red, did he force it back down.

This was not the time for a thought like that, no matter how much his cock pounding into you rougher and rougher each thrust said otherwise. Maybe he hadn’t pushed it out of his mind, and he fucked you with that very thought overwhelming him so much Jon couldn’t think of anything but filling you. He had time and time again, but he needed to now, and he knew himself enough that he wouldn’t be done at all yet.

Letting go of your wrists, your hands fell down to wrap around the back of his neck, returning his kiss almost as desperate as he felt. Shifting you slightly, Jon cupped the back of your head to keep you attached to his lips as he felt his end come without notice. Disconnecting your lips he looked into your hooded eyes as his hands gripped at you bruising, each thick spurt of seed that filled you deeply. “Jon..”

His eyes almost rolled into the back of his head. Roughly meeting you again to kiss you, Jon before his seed even was done pouring inside of you, did Jon begin to pound so much rougher, faster too. “I’d make you cum so much that they’d never get it out of their heads. They’d never be able to think of anyone but you for the rest of their lives, knowing they can’t have you.”

The moment you clenched around him so tight, Jon knew you were lost. Dragging you to hide in his neck, Jon gripped the back of your hair tightly as he gave you little mercy. Hips slapping quick against yours each time his cock sunk inside of you again and again, rasping through gritted teeth as it felt as if you rolled from one orgasm to another with how much Jon refused to ease up. “You belong to me, but I belong to you too, darling. I’m yours.” Barley did you nod, nails clawing at his back as you came for what felt like a third time.

Barley having come down from his own, the moment your third orgasm clenched around him did Jon feel too overwhelmed to hold back. Roughly muttering in your ear that he loves you, Jon’s seed hot and thick, spilled inside of you again as deep as he could. The hand at your hair shifted to press at your ass, force you to keep his cock as deep as he could until there was nothing left.

Minutes passed before he pulled away to look at you, both heaving to catch your breath, your hands still around the back of his neck but now clinging so sweetly as you looked wide eyed up to him, Jons the same right back. Not yet even pulling out of you, he muttered gently, “Do you want to lay down and I’ll finish here?”

Shaking your head, Jon found a soft grin come over him. Leaning to run his nose along the length of yours as you so sweetly ran your fingers through his curls. “Could I do it?”

That time, Jons grin was even brighter. Nudging your nose more playfully until you nudged back. “Whatever you want.”

By the time you had washed and rinsed his hair, did Jon carefully lean down to run the same cloth you used before on him, to run tenderly between your legs. His lips pressing a kiss to your mound before finally turning the water off. No one was around when he got you out of the shower and into his room.

Jon stood there bare as before, hands running along your hips with nothing perverse about the ask this time. “Do you want to get dressed?” Your brows raised in a surprise as he cupped your cheek to run this thumb over the soft skin. “I’d rather have you just like this, but it’s up to you.”

He couldn’t keep the adoration at bay, the shy way you nodded. Wanting to lay in his bed, in his arms as bare as he was still. Curling you into his front, you snuggled more naturally seeking out his warmth as his arms wrapped around to shield you from the world. It was a surprise when you said it, but the lulling tone spoke that perhaps your mind said it when falling asleep, not wanting Jon to hear what you no doubt thought was embarrassing in your waking hours. “I thought it was normal..”

Letting his face rest in your hair, something prideful filling his chest at how you always let him use his shampoo on you instead of yours, so that some part of you smelled like him in the mornings. “What?”

But you said the second part so much more asleep, fading out until you were peaceful in his arms. “Men hate cuddling after..had other girls to see..”

Jon didn’t need you awake to know what you meant. He knew Ramsay never stayed, and he learned from you directly in a great upset that morning that you knew he left to go see other girls, and now he had a hateful suspicion that Karl did the same. Part of him felt a clawing anger that both men could ever treat you like you were disposable, but another part of Jon just held you tighter.

Of course you thought Jon would’ve left you after that week, no man you’d ever been with before him had taught you anything other then you were just an object to fuck. Something to come home too and use before fucking off again with someone they liked better.

It had been less then a week at that point since he came home from the mess he caused, and as he fell asleep that night, Jon knew that he’d spend every day as long as it took, to prove not only that he would never do the same to you, but also to teach you what love felt like. Because Jon knew with no question as early as then, that his love for you was never going away, and he’d do anything to make sure you knew that from now on.

Now though, with almost two months passed, it seemed things were better. Jon had more opened up to you, and you to him finally finding a way to freely talk between you about everything, what it all made you feel and whatnot. Sat at the table in the kitchen, Jon had been picking away at the food in front of him across from Theon when Robb came home early in the afternoon for once.

Making his way into the kitchen as well, he clearly had been looking around before coming in the room. Looking to the two of them asking where you were, Jons eyes flickered up with the ever so slightest of narrowing towards him whereas Theon didn’t pick up on anything between either. “With Margaery and Sansa.” Moving to get food of his own, he continued to ask short questions, this time when you’d be back and again Theon answered in what he seemed to think was Jons natural silence. “Don’t know.”

Piping up between bites did Jon finally add in, “They’ll probably be at the house first for a while when they come back. Something Sansa said about giving her a break from all of us.” Theon glanced towards him with a bit of amusement that Jon could agree with. Even without everything else, living here with three men had to drive you crazy sometimes. No matter what you’d always argue against. He was glad you had someone like Margaery around, and with Sansa joining more too now, it made Jon feel relieved. That you could spend time away from the house with other girls, considering how little female friends you had growing up before.

Sitting down at a free space, Robb’s eyes found Jons for a moment before he too settled into his food. Only giving enough away that still there was something he was not saying, and Jon was getting rather fed up with his brother not saying anything about what this really was tense between them lately.

“Even if he is, he can’t be mad at you for that.”

Your eyes looked up in doubt. Flickering over to where Margaery sat, only to be found with a bright eyed knowing look at said she was going to side against you on that no matter what you then tried to argue. “It wouldn’t be the first time I did something like that.”

On the other couch from you beside her though, Sansa fully disagreed. Narrowed eyes, while in the direction of you, certainly spoke instead that it was an emotion directed at the subject not present of the discussion. “No, I meant he can’t be mad, meaning he has no right.” Your brows narrowed but she only looked at you with wider eyes, imploring you to just listen to her. “Do you know how many times over the years my father had to pick all three of them up from wherever they were because they had gotten so drunk they couldn’t drive? Or how often either Jory or Rodrick would drop them off in the middle of the night because they were causing trouble completely wasted in public?”

Your head tilted to the side for a moment, something almost akin to a smirk wanting to form for a moment as you thought it over. You didn’t know much of it, but enough from normally Theon to know that the few years on and off you spent going to schools in Kings Landing had given the three of them ample opportunity to get themselves into non stop trouble. Margaery didn’t help however, a knowing grin forming on her face before you could tell her to stop it. “Trust me, we got into plenty of trouble on our own.” Glancing to the curious look on Sansa’s face she only laughed. “You’d know if you weren’t such a goody two shoes in high school.”

The open mouthed audacity on Sansa’s face had you looking away trying not to laugh. Only could she protest that she was not, but you couldn’t help yourself. “Oh yes you were. How often did you even get punished for something?”

Her face squished together trying to find something to argue back with, but both of you knew that if it were between the sisters it was Arya who was the only one to be caught getting into mischief. Crossing both her arms, you and Margaery only could laugh as you leaned back, eyes trailing around the room.

The main home of the Starks was always so much larger then you remembered everytime you were there. Records of the family history said that thousands of years ago, it was the place of a castle but as times changed, some centuries ago did the property change with it. The different sections of land turned into different properties, and the main living space turned into a well build house that better then any southern places, stood the test of time. Even the room you were in looked nothing like it did years ago, but was in just as good shape.

Most of the Starks had their bedrooms on the second floor, with Ned and Catelyn having theirs to themselves on the third. But once more and more children began filling the rooms, did Jon volunteer himself to move into the basement. It too was large and expansive, a hall leading down to multiple rooms and the largest at the end had been taken as Jons bedroom.

In those years it looked drastically different. It was darker in the colours around, less cluttered with things but always filled with personality. One space was sat a very well taken care of guitar that he only seemed to ever be willing to bring out once he was sure everyone else in the house was asleep and wouldn’t hear him. By his TV was there a chair which seemed to normally be occupied by Ghost, and a love seat made from a surprisingly soft leather where for so many occasions as teenagers, you’d sit on one end with your feet draped over his lap, and Jon facing you on the other end. With his longer legs usually perched against the small space next to you somewhat bent by the knee as if you’d have needed permission from him to even get up.

The room was the coldest in the house, but it was made up for how there sat a fireplace, which was eventually where he set up the space for Ghost specifically when they got the direwolves. That space at least was still in use. The bed was new, but the area was tailored for Sansa’s own direwolf, Lady. Who laid there as you all sat down there that late afternoon. If not a bit larger for the times inevitably Arya’s wolf Nymeria would come down to join her sister.

Overall now it was mostly decorated by Sansa, who was glad to have found a new use for the area instead of what their father intended, which was to go back to using it as a storage space when Jon was the first to move out. Now painted in more light colours, throws and chairs and fairy lights around to make it somewhere that with the two of them down here with you, felt more calm. At least in contrast to the apartment currently, which had become the topic of discussion when you seemed less then enthusiastic about going back right away.

That was when the two had pried, and came to the discussion you were having now as Sansa directed you all back on track. “So you got drunk months ago and left the feast, then two months ago you got too drunk and he had to pick you up from a bar. If he’s mad at you for that, then that’s not your problem, it’s Robbs.”

Wanting to curl in on yourself, you sighed deeply in a doubt that they both could see. “Maybe it’s not just that. I mean, he had to be the one to put up with me the most those first few days when..”

Trailing off not wishing to retread an unpleasant discussion in front of them, but you should’ve known Margaery would be the one to drag it out into the open with a bitter spite about it. “You mean when the Targaryean showed up and tried to ruin your life?” Your voice shortly warning her by name only to be trampled over with more indigence on your behalf. “No, don’t do that. Don’t downplay what happened. I told you, you can sit there and blame yourself all you like, but you know better then anyone that I can spot when a woman is trying to worm her way into a mans life just to fuck over another woman she doesn’t like.”

“You’re being-”

Cutting you off again, Margaery only got more angry. “You do get that, don’t you? That the only reason Jon had to go with her that week, is because she demanded it. You said her advisor was the Lord Commanders son, you don’t think she probably manipulated both of them into ensuring she could take Jon from you for a week because she was stupid enough to think all men want to fuck her?”

Your own eyes tried to tell her to ease up, Sansa beside her didn’t help. “My father has talked about her a few times since then, and everything he says matches all that. She tries to manipulate people into thinking she’s kind and nice and perfect, but she’s just a-”

Voice overpowering them both with more of a shout, “Alright, I get what you’re trying to say. I appreciate the work on my behalf, but it’s just not that complicated. If that’s what happened, if this was really all because she tried to do this on purpose just to hurt me, then why wouldn’t Jon have just told me that? Why not say it, and then he wouldn’t have had to spend the past two months acting as if he was responsible for it all?”

But it was not either who answered, but a new voice coming around the corner with the same level of frustration in her voice that Sansa and Margaery had. “Because he would never give himself an out about you. He can’t make her apologize to you, so he takes all the blame and responsibility.” Glancing over your shoulder, you watched as Arya quickly walked into the room and flung herself into one of the soft chairs by you, her eyes narrowed as her voice sounded. “Jon would rather take the blame and do the work then make you think he was looking for excuses to make up for that week.”

A stare off occurred between you both for a moment before you tried to come back with what reason you could only see. “Let’s pretend that’s true.” Arya shouting right away that it was only for you to sternly talk over her into letting you speak. “Just humour me. Pretending that is one hundred percent the truth, what you three are saying, how is any of that supposed to help me figure out why Robb is the one mad at me now?”

That time the quiet lasted for a beat longer, for once the gentle tones of music low that Sansa had playing in the background was heard. Which amusingly did not match the tenseness now in the room between the four of you. Both sisters looked at the other, and in a language that neither you nor Margaery picked up on seemed to come to a conclusion that Sansa was now talking around. “Boys are stupid.”

Arya though, unable to help herself only smirked at her sister. “Yeah, that’s why you don’t date them anymore.” Her sister shouting Arya’s name, she only laughed to herself.

Sansa looking away trying to not act as if she was close to doing the same. “Anyways, I was saying. Boys are stupid when they get protective. You’ve always been like family to us, and Robb is just being stupid because he doesn’t know how else to express that he was worried about you then to be annoying about it. Which is no different then when he’s been worried about when me or Arya had a problem.” You were quiet though, only prompting her to lean forward in your direction. “What?”

Things you didn’t want to say to any of them, not sure if it was true what you thought you were noticing but also just in general as if it would sound like you were just gossiping. But your face had twisted downward enough that there was no hiding something else was on your mind and now with Arya and Sansa both here, they wouldn’t let you leave until you said it. For once, Margaery was amusingly, the one who respected your want for privacy the most as she watched you in thoughtful silence.

It came out less then confident, but you still said it. “That doesn’t explain why for the past few weeks, he and Jon have been acting as if they’re angry with the other everytime I’m in the room with both of them.”

Attention fighting down to look mindlessly at the nails that both girls had earlier in the day insist you get done with them, did you miss the even more significant glance between sisters, only for them to glance at a knowing Margaery, who only tilted her head as it confirming their silent suspensions.

Things the three realized, were a little more complicated then you were at all picking up on it seemed.

Your focus was always zeroed in on whatever it was you were doing at the time, concentration all but locked onto your task with little awareness of your surroundings. Sometimes things could make it a bit easier. None of the guys were around when you had gotten in, and when looking at the time you figured it was easiest to just start making food and if they appeared then there would be a plate ready for them.

It had nearly startled you into jumping with a gasp when a hand came and nudged at the side of your head accompanied by Theon’s voice. “Not your night.”

Only muttering back with the slightest of smirks you replied, “No, it’s yours. But you weren’t here.”

Your hands pausing their chopping, you looked up to the side at him with a raised brow, Theon only staring back before rolling his eyes in a manner you knew he didn’t really mean. “I’ll do the sides.” The smirk not quite smothered as you said a thank you and returning your focus.

It was easy with Theon at least, he was more of a talker then you, but he knew how keep a conversation going when appealing to your strengths and it helped keep your mind from solely focusing to the point you noticed nothing around you. You hadn’t thought much of it though, when the sensation of a large head bumping into you by the back of your knees hit you.

Twisting to look down, did you see not one, but two very expecting direwolves looking up at you in anticipation. Glancing to Theon who pretended not to notice, did you grab some more sizable pieces of already cooked meat you had out, kneeling down with the hand holding it in the air. “Ah, ah, you both know better.”

Greywind and Ghost glanced at one another before sitting down properly. Waiting a few seconds, did you transfer one into each hand allowing them both to take some, shamelessly chomping it down right there, as if expecting that you were going to pet them after, which you did.

The chuckle filling the room was warm, and not quite speaking to you but you could hear the grin as he no doubt nodded down to you. “Never met anyone whose as soft for them as her.”

Instinctively, your eyes glanced up to Robb in a playful glare. “Perhaps you are just too strict.”

Both wolves satisfied, were motioned out of the kitchen from Robb as you pushed yourself up to get back to work. “It’s not your night.” Theon gave you the out, that he was late so you started already. Sensing what he was about to do, you warned his name only for Robb to laugh. “I didn’t do anything.”

While that was true, you knew him better then that. “I’m almost done, just leave it.”

His hands in the air, you for a moment felt better. That whatever the girls had all said that afternoon might not be accurate, that things were fine. Robb seemed in good spirits, and the two of them could talk as you finished everything else up. You heard footsteps, but again, thought little of it until a warm body found it’s way close to your back. One gentle along your hair with a slight pull to get the loose strands out of your way, and his other reached around to sit along your wrist, tapping at the back of your hand without enough to disrupt you working. His rasp comforting in your ear, “These look pretty.”

The small smile tried to hide itself but no doubt Jon saw it as he moved to lean his side against the counter right beside you. “You can thank your sister for that, she picked the colours.” Jon only jesting lightly that of course she did, and your head turned to the side with a glint in your eye at the unspoken tease that you weren’t good at that so of course you deferred to Sansa’s judgment.

Without a second thought, as soon as you begun putting everything onto plates, Jon muttered in your ear as he made a passing grab by your hip to emphasize his point. “I’ll do this, sit.” In truth, you had a strange feeling you weren’t meant to notice it, nor did you think Theon was supposed to either given his expression.

The moment your eyes found the table, did you see Robb, but there was something more of a dark glare within them as you knew his eyes tracked right over to where Jon was. Your face fell just a little, and yet it seemed both brothers sensed they were watched closely and whatever mask was being put up, slipped just a bit.

Jons hand hovered a bit over Robbs spot, as if contemplating letting it drop roughly until Robb grabbed it more aggressively from him. Your eyes finally found Theons, who narrowed in the same confusion but without the shine of guilt which washed over yours. You knew when this started, and you couldn’t stop that feeling the entire meal. Something was tense between the two of them, and you knew it had all started after the night Robb had to pick you up from a bar.

When everyone was done, abruptly right before anyone could say anything, you started grabbing empty plates with a tense mutter. “You three are busy, I’ll deal with this.” Jon instantly called your name in a protest but you had already faced away from them at the sink without a thought. Only turning back to the table to clear the rest. Whomever was hovering in the room you didn’t want to think about it yet, that sting sat deep and bitter in your stomach. That again, it was your fault.

It wasn’t until halfway through did you sense Jon coming up behind you, the room now clear but you no doubt if judging by how close he stood with his hands gentle at your hips, leaning over your shoulder to look at you better. “Do you want to talk about whats bothering you?”

Your head rose only slightly to look at a spot on the wall, how instantly did Jon wonder if you were the one with something wrong and not something you caused. Shaking your head you could only hope your voice was convincing, but Jon knew better, and you knew that too. “Everything’s fine.”

One of those hands on your hips slowly slunk around your front, wrapping by your stomach and only pulling you back into him as he stepped forward to press properly against your back. “We both know that’s not true.” You shrugged one shoulder, wanting to just brush it off before you took pause. The gentle sensation like a current flowing through you as Jon pressed his lips to your neck. A sweet and slow peck, then another upwards, before making a chaste path with his lips to your ear as he rasped only enough for you. “If it’s something I can help with..”

Trailing off as he clearly picked up on the way you roughly swallowed, and the manner you were tense as you shook your head. The hand on your hip running up to your waist and back down, he was sure to listen to you, but you knew it was so he could pick up where he knew was a lie. “It’s fine, Jon. It’s just a me problem.”

You hated so much that Jon didn’t even hesitate to say it. “Which makes it my problem too.” For a moment you let yourself feel the warmth around you. Leaning back a bit into his touch, you sighed deeply in something emotionally exhausted, as Jon kissed the side of your head before resting against yours in matching. “Let me take you for a drive tonight.”

“Where?”

That time you felt him shrug, but without the weight you had before. “Anywhere. I feel like I leave you alone here too much, let’s get you some fresh air that doesn’t also smell like a nail salon.” You couldn’t see the brightness in his grey eyes looking over to you as you burst into an easy laughter. A small whine coming from behind, as you both turned your heads to see the excited face of Ghost. As if he had sensed Jon say the phrase go for a drive and got excited. “Alright, let me take both of you out for a drive tonight.”

Leaning more into him, you felt Jon turn his head enough to press his lips to your hair once more as you smiled a bit with something genuine. “I think I like the sounds of that.”

Muttering as he pushed off from you, “Good. You finish here, and I’ll get a few things ready.” Agreeing, you heard Jon and Ghost leave the room and thought little more for the time being of the tenseness from dinner. And yet that tenseness was exactly what was playing out just beyond your hearing on the other side of bedrooms in the apartment.

Leaning against the frame of his door, Jons voice was low enough that only it could be heard within the room. “If there’s something you want to say to me Robb, I’d rather you just say it.” Both knew he meant about you. Turning where he sat by his desk, Robb just looked up to him with a sharp expression as if trying to assess his brother.

“You want to know what’s wrong?” Jon only nodded once, but the moment Robb said your name he took a step forward and closed the door as Robb stood up. “Do you know what it’s like, having to watch you pretend as if everything is fine with you two?” Jon felt a wave of confusion as if he had no idea what he was talking about, forcing him to elaborate. “You come home after what you put her through, say you’re sorry and that’s it? You don’t pay any consequences for how you made her feel?”

Jon turned his head, a warning not to push him on this as his grey eyes darkened. “You have no idea what you’re saying.” Robb only pressing that didn’t he, but Jon felt something flow through his veins that was tinged with more of an anger. “What would you know about how I spend my time with her? Or what I’ve done to make up for all of that?”

Only, what came out of Robbs mouth even to him, very much had the air around it as if it slipped out without meaning too. “All you’ve done to make up for forcing her think you were willing to fuck someone else, was to just start fucking her more.”

The room was as silent as it could get. Robb right away glanced away with something of guilt for what he had said, but Jon stood there with that anger burning hotter and hotter. He wanted to make it sound as easy as that, as uncomplicated as that when he had no idea. Robb didn’t understand what Jon was like with you, why you two were the way you were. He didn’t understand that Jon didn’t just take you to bed for the fun of it, it meant so much more then that to him.

But was he willing to explain that to Robb of all people? No, he wasn’t sure he was willing, or even came close to wanting too. “I know what this is.”

A doubt splashed Robbs face as it amused by his confidence. “Do you?”

Turning his head slightly, a disbelief flashed in his eyes as Jons tone matched in a low and dangerous warning. “You wanted me to come home and fix things with her. You wanted me to pursue her in the first place. How many times over the years did you tell me to kiss her already and get it over with? You wanted her to be with me, and now you’re mad that I’m trying to move on from where I screwed up?”

They could only stare at one another as Jon knew for a fact Robb didn’t have anything to say against that in spirit. He wasn’t blind, he knew what this was. He could see it on his brothers face and he hated how angry it made him. Almost as angry as he felt knowing Robb wasn’t even brave enough to say it.

Muttering low, Robb kept his calm far better then Jon was. “I never told you to hurt her.”

Jon could see it, hear it. The things he learned, what men who knew Karl Tanner told him, what he knew of Viserys Targaryean, what he had to endure every night Ramsay Bolton stayed over with you, he knew none of what men before Jon had put you through. Robb only saw Jon as the problem, and refused to accept that he didn’t have to put the work into fixing things with you right before his eyes for such events to even be taking place.

One step forward was taken, Jons face twisting into something still on edge but perhaps a bit on the side of pleading. “You want to be mad at me? Go ahead.” Bringing up your name with a strain in his voice as Robb looked away. “But don’t take it out on me in front of her. You’re only making her upset, and she doesn’t need that right now.” About to leave, Jon barley let his head turn to call out to him once more. “I’m going out tonight with her and Ghost, so you don’t need to let him out later.”

If Robb said anything in return, Jon had let the door close roughly behind him before it could hit his hears. Hand still on the handle as his jaw clenched, eyes closing long enough to let out a breath. “The fucks wrong with you two lately?”

Eyes flying open he looked over to Theon, who was not blind to the anger flowing through Jons person nor the tension from this side of the apartment in general. “Nothing.”

Theon raised an eyebrow, a scoff leaving as he crossed his arms leaning against the wall. “No? Suppose then it’s a coincidence you two looked like you wanted to kill each other at dinner.” Again, Jon just rebuffed that it wasn’t anything to worry about, and again, Theon laughed like he did not buy that for a single moment. “Right. That’s why you nearly broke Robbs door slamming it shut. Also, she’s waiting for you.”

Nodding down the hall despite nothing to see, did he pass Jon by with nothing resentful in his tone and he could at least have that. That not everyone in this place was angry with him. Running a hand over his mouth, Jon let the nerves loosen before seeking you out. He needed to keep this as far from you as possible, he knew how you’d react and he couldn’t bear to watch you blame yourself for anything else that wasn’t your fault.

Seeking you out though, for a moment Jon could let all of that fall to the wayside, the smile you gave looking up from where you were petting and scratching at Ghosts excited ears. “Are you ready?”

Jon only smiled, leaning down to join as he ran his hands over the direwolf’s back more firmly. “Give me one more minute, I have something else I need to grab.” Asking as he stood if you wanted him to get Ghost in the car for him, Jon only laughed as he held his hands out. Grasping your smaller ones he pulled you with no effort up onto your feet. “Don’t let him knock you to the ground.”

Instead of letting you go, Jon looked at you. What he argued with Robb over, not a single inch near his mind in that moment. One hand trailed up to cup your cheek before gently pulling you up to meet his lips leaning down. Nothing deep or even long, but a chaste kiss that lingered as your eyes took a bit to open as he looked over you. Thumb running along your cheek as his other hand let you go to pass around you. “I’ll be right there.”

Digging into a drawer, did Jons phone go off. A simple message he had sent Tormund answering that he figured out what Robb seemed pissed off about, but Jon was completely taken back by the response he now looked at, Jon only looked up for a moment. He knew you were outside, no one was looking at him, but still. The nerves of anger before were nothing like these ones.

A follow up text told him that it wasn’t a joke, Tormund just suggested that as if it wasn’t something that glued Jons feet and heart to the floor for a moment. Putting it to sleep, Jon forced himself to put his phone away, trying to shake off everything filling him in that moment as he finally grabbed what he needed.

Jon came in here to for one thing, only to leave with a mind filled with thoughts of another he wished Tormund never put in his head. Certainly not now of all times, not when it truly was in the strictest terms, a way to make his territory known.

Worse off, the smile you gave him when he met you by the car only made Jon force himself to push the thought deep down, that he didn’t at all hate the idea. Not by a long shot.

He wondered if he should head back. The drive was very much needed, you and Jon had a chance to just talk, laugh, no one else around as he drove you through the wide, expansive North. At one point you both had stopped, giving Ghost a chance to do his business when you both walked a bit in the meantime. Coming up on a large pond, there was enough of a section like a beach that you could both stand there together.

Jon had at one point picked you up and teased that he would drop you in the water when Ghost had happily splashed around you both, barking freely in a playfulness that Jon told you was the direwolf saying he should drop you. Instead he had more gently dropped you down onto the grass behind you both, resting more on your sides until a certain someone had decided to shake his fur out right beside you both.

It was some of the easiest times with you Jon always had. Just you both out in the North somewhere with Ghost, no expectations of any sort. All of you getting to just act exactly as you liked. Finally he had found a good destination to stop at, a more cliffside view overlooking the wolfswood. Not even leaving the car, did Jon move everything to pull you into his side, where he was now.

Curled more into his chest, one hand gently holding at the top of his shirts collar as if asking him not to leave yet, you had slowly fallen asleep. Ghost had drifted in and out until he heard the direwolf yawn in the backseat. His head moving to slip by you both as it to rest against your side as you slept against Jons.

The time said he should head back, but he’d have to risk waking you up to do that and he wasn’t so sure he was willing to part just yet with that. Instead, his mind drifted to what he figured out beyond a shadow of a doubt that night.

When this started he wasn’t sure, but it seemed it had exploded the night Robb picked you up from a bar. He was jealous. He was jealous that Jon was with you. Separated from the tenseness of home, Jon had two minds about it. One side of him actually understood. Looking down to you, Jon let the hand not wrapped around you, move to brush your loose hair behind your ear, his fingers tracing along your cheek as he lingered.

Jon had never gone a day in his life knowing you where he didn’t think you were beautiful. The first time he ever saw you as a boy he thought you were the prettiest thing he’d ever seen, and that only increased the more his feelings did. You were smart and sweet too, somehow a mixture of stern and to the point but also sweet and gentle hearted in private. Jon knew what his brother would’ve seen in you, because Jon had never gone a day in his life where he didn’t see it all over again.

But the other part of him, was angry. Jon fucked up. He never denied that, he knew taking off was the worst thing he could’ve done and he had spent every moment since making sure you knew he was never going to treat you like that again. Things had been great since. You settled into being with Jon more after that, realizing together that he wasn’t going anywhere and he wasn’t judging everything you did. You were even easing more and more into feeling comfortable telling him you loved him.

Yet that was why he was angry. Jon knew he screwed up badly, and things had been for the better since trying to remedy his own mistake. But Robb either refused to see it or didn’t care and was just holding it against him. Somewhere along the line, his brother started to look at you differently, and let that protectiveness of that one night overtake everything before that.

He loved his brother, and Jon knew Robb loved him back. They’d always have the other no matter what, but this was a new obstacle that was as unique as it was sensitive. Robb wanted to judge Jon for the worst thing he did with you, and take it as that was all the relationship would ever be. Jon had known you for so many years, and yet these past few months you both had opened up to each other more then your whole lives.

It was as if being with the other meant there was a whole new person to meet and fall in love with all over again. Jon adored every second of it, and he refused to let Robb suddenly feeling jealous to overpower that.

Robb had many relationships in his life, Jon only ever had one. Robb dated women in and out as soon as he was old enough to kiss a girl before finally tiring of that sort of serial dating and put it to the wayside ever since. Jon only ever had one relationship before, and it was in the two years you last went away to Kings Landing, and later a few months in Essos, that it even happened.

Jon didn’t really have that much interest in her, but he had moved out, he was still new in the Nights Watch and thus was spending either all of his time at his station or beyond the Wall and barley had the time to talk to you anyways. It was desperate. He missed his family and friends, but he knew he missed you more and he wanted to pretend as if he could date like normal, like Robb did. He was desperately in love with you, but was so far from being with you that he couldn’t stand it, and faked it with someone who was not kind to him, to the determent of his own mental health.

By the time it was coming to an end, he was lost. He never told his family what exactly had gone on, all they knew was he was in a relationship with a girl beyond the Wall, that ever since it started Jon was miserable and angry and not himself, and that despite Jon never saying much about her or bringing her even close to around the Starks, they knew enough. Benjen had spilled most of that to them one day that the girl he was dating was a lot less kind then Jon was letting on, and the same night his father invited Jon over to talk about it finally, did the news reach that you were moving back to the North and found a place right by Winterfell.

He told you very little about it, but the morning you were said to come back, Jon called you promising he’d pick you up from White Harbour. By the time you got there that night, he had broken up with Ygritte in the mere hours between the call, and him arriving at the docks. And he never looked back afterwards. Hand still running over your cheek, Jon could remember it easily.

The way you looked around as if doubting that he was going to be there, before he spotted you. Not a care in the world he had when Jon had practically spun you around in a hug before putting your feet back to the ground. It was the first time he had smiled like that in years.

This was it. You were each others first true chance at this, at love. And as Jon sat there, as much as he understood why his brother begun feeling that way, he too felt angry that his brother didn’t even see how selfish it was. He had every chance to find a girl he loved, and Robb seemed to let his stubborn nature get in the way of the fact that by choosing to focus so much on you, he wanted to take away the first time you or Jon ever had at a relationship that made you feel loved and happy.

Jon eventually chose not to wake you up, carefully moving enough so that you could sleep resting in his lap as he drove home. A hand constantly running through your hair at every red light he’d hit. He didn’t want to make things tense for you, nor did he want to damage his own relationship with Robb but he wasn’t going to let this happen.

Carrying you into the house, you still hadn’t woken up, but when Jon finally got into bed with you, you curled into his front all the same. Jon just wished you could’ve been spared, and stayed oblivious to the tension between the two brothers.

Since Jon had absolutely no idea what he was going to do about any of it.

These nights were rare, everyone gathered at the house for such long periods of time. But it was always taken advantage of by everyone. It was funny at first, when the topic came up of a family dinner in the main Stark house, and how all three of them had given you the same look when you had commented that it would be weird having to make food only enough for yourself that night.

Theon had been the one to say it as bluntly as possible, “I’m sorry Baratheon, did you hit your head or are you really that stupid thinking you’re not coming?” Looking wide eyed at them with a stammer leading to nothing, did he smirk. “If you didn’t show up with us, all that would happen is Bran, Arya, and Rickon would all storm in here and guilt trip you into coming over anyways.”

Jon hadn’t come close to saying it, but he thought you were adorable in that moment. As if dating him had suddenly made you invade on his family life when you weren’t supposed to. As if his father hadn’t looked at you like one of his own since you were a girl anyways. Now, with everything in the kitchen still cooking, it gave the Stark siblings a chance to all hang around together in the main room.

You had yet to actually shed that worrisome nature, like you were now the overbearing girlfriend tagging along to her boyfriends every event. Almost as soon as you got in the door, did you go to help Catelyn in the kitchen and Jon hadn’t even seen you since. Everyone else preoccupied with something, Jon had found a moment just sitting forward on the couch, a smirk as he watched Bran and Rickon both try and take on Robb and Theon in a fight, the later two tied between playing weaker for amusement or getting the upper hand with ease for a laugh.

Jon had simply given instructions from the side to his little brothers, both of whom took his words seriously as if this was a training session. A weight sat next to him on the couch, only for the low rumble of his fathers voice hit his ears alone. “Since I already know about this one, do I finally get to hear anything about it?”

Jons brows furrowed for only half a second before it dawned on him. It was perhaps not the right approach, but his eyes flickered to Robb for a moment when he said it. “I would’ve thought Robb told you about it already.”

Ned Stark though was not a man who gave up easily against his sons own stubborn nature. A small wack on the back did he prompt him to get up with him, “Come on.”

It was a small bar like area off the main dining room, a wide frame leading into the kitchen where if Jon strained himself, he would just be able to hear you and Catelyn talking over everything else in the kitchen running. Reaching a hand out, Jon took a second to again register what he meant, before handing his father the glass in his hand. That time filling it up with something a bit stronger then what everyone else had been all drinking before in the main room.

Filling his own as Jon took a first sip, a bit of a wince wanting to come over him for how strong it was only to find a similar held back expression hiding behind his fathers face too. Leaning against one end of the bar, his father came over to the other matching his posture before asking what he really wanted to ask. “Are things alright with her?” Nodding towards the kitchen. “As soon as she got her jacket off she’s been with Cat instead of out there with you.”

Jons face twisted into a troubled frown at first. Looking down into the amber liquid in his glass, contemplating taking another drink before deciding against it just yet. His voice was a low rasp for no one to accidentally hear the much more frustrated tone he finally allowed himself to have. “We’re good. We’re better then good.” The huff of a smile on his face didn’t meet his eyes, but what existed was real all the same.

Ned only watched his son in knowing quiet, that if he were to interrupt before Jon could get his thoughts out in full, he may just shut down about the details all together.

Which after a moment, Jon continued. “When I was driving back from the Shadow Tower, I was terrified I screwed up too badly. I left her for a week when she needed me, and I thought that was it. My one chance with the girl I’d been in love with my whole life and it took me barley over a month to ruin it.” That time, the sip Jon took was noticeably larger then the one before. “But..she gave me a chance. Let me make it up to her, prove I could do better then that.”

His father didn’t even hesitate to further more close off that manner of thinking, just the way Jon knew you would were he honest about it all. “You made a mistake, Jon. She was never going to hate you forever over one mistake.”

It was a mutter, but of course he heard. “A mistake that nearly spiralled her out of control.”

Leaning over, Ned grabbed the bottle he had used and refilled Jons depleting glass as well as his, if just to get him through this conversation, which even though he didn’t say it, Jon was thankful for. “I’ve made many mistakes in my life, never any bad enough to push people away for good. Which means I knew you two would get passed this. I raised you better then to make a mistake worse then anything I ever did.”

Perhaps it was an attempt at trying to ease his own tension, but Jon muttered into the glass with a bit of a jesting tone, “No idea what that might be.” Just as the words silenced, did both hear the faint sounds of Catelyn from the kitchen as she said something muffled to you. Only causing both men to smirk just the slightest.

Jon didn’t meet his fathers eyes, only staying halfway between the glass in his hand and the ground but he always listened intently. “Listen, I don’t know what Danaerys Targaryean was trying to do with you that week, and I can’t speak for anyone else, but I never thought something was going to happen.” Gesturing to the kitchen again, “I’ve seen you be in love with her since the day Stannis and Robert brought her up for her first Winter Harvest. The second she walked in house, I thought I was going to have to call Maester Luwin because you looked like you were having a heart attack.”

That time, the smile and laugh was far more real. He remembered that vividly.

“Then after the feast was over, when everyone outside was starting to dance, I noticed she had walked away from her family and was trailing around outside watching everyone like she wanted to join in. I came over to her, asking if she wanted someone to dance with and she said she didn’t know the one they were doing. So I said to her that you could teach her.” Jon finally turned to look over at his father, something confused in his mind as his memory of that night came nowhere near that, only for Ned to chuckle fondly. Eyes distant in his own memory that time. “If you can believe it, she was too shy.”

Jons chuckle was only stopped by one thought, and perhaps it was found out of a certain brother of his once more trying to get in where Jon had thought was his, even if back then it was nothing like that. “She came the next year and knew how, who taught her?”

If his father sensed Jons worry about the answer, it was more obvious there was a worry in general when his shoulders greatly deflated right away. “Benjen. Overheard, and said that because I was a married man, she needed a real dance partner.”

He could imagine that so easily. You would’ve been what, he thought, eight? You were tiny then, his uncle probably had just picked you up and danced with you that way instead of leaning all the way down just to meet your then tiny height. “I never knew that.”

Straight to the point his father was, “You danced with her every year after that until you were what? Fourteen?” That was not wrong, it was when Jons feelings for you had started to turn a lot more serious, a lot more adult. And playfully dancing with you at the Winter Harvest started to suddenly feel more romantic when other boys his age were dancing with girls because they were dating, and he didn’t want to so easily give away how he felt.

Either way, his father came around to his main point. “What I’m getting at Jon, is that you two have been dancing around each other ever since. It was always going to end up here. You’re good for each other. You make her happy, and she makes you happy. Sometimes that’s enough.”

Nodding, Jon looked back up into the kitchen as if wishing for a glimpse of you only for them all to be properly called to the table. Patting him on the back once, Ned parted ways before making his way into the kitchen and out of his sight.

Left alone, Jon looked over his glass before a deep sigh left him. Downing what remained in the glass, he had only just twisted to sit it on the top of the bar counter before he heard you only a few feet away from him. “Having me here that bad?”

That time, Jon knew right away you were teasing. The brightness in your eyes as you leaned against the frame looking over at him. Pushing up off the counter he made his way over to you, a hand held out for you to gently grasp. Pulling you into his front the moment you did, your hands grasped at his forearms while he held at your waist. “You were supposed to come over with us and enjoy yourself.”

You only shrugged, something telling Jon that perhaps you were stretching the truth a bit. “I did, I like cooking you know that.”

A smile came over Jons face, forcing one hand on his arm to release as he moved it up to brush the hair by the side of your face back to cup with his hand, feeling you somewhat lean in to his touch. A joke or two sat on his tongue, but Jon took the path of neither. Instead choosing to lean down, watching your eyes flutter closed right away as you let him press his lips to yours. Cupping both cheeks, your hands held at his waist. It was nothing urgent. A chaste kiss that didn’t go too deep, but kept you to his lips for longer then decency permitted. Which seemed to be the issue as a cleared throat caused Jon to pull away from you.

The ever displeased eyes of Catelyn looked at him in a heavy disapproval as she nodded to the side where the others were. “I believe it would be appropriate to bring her to the table when dinner is called.”

Your mouth was slightly parted in embarrassment, but Jon nodded. Not really letting go of you, just allowing his hands to slide down to your waist and back as he turned you towards the hall.

The moment Catelyn was out of sight did you look up over at him with a fluster, “I am so-”

Nudging you playfully forward more, Jon let the sudden jarring push cut you off for him. “Don’t be sorry. Just let me make it up to you later.”

You had been smart enough not to ask Jon what he meant, save he gave you another reason to sit down utterly flustered and stammering in front of everyone at the table. Which given you were sat next to Jon but across from Robb, was certainly the better choice. Though, that did not bode well considering it meant both brothers were in eye view of each other as much as they were you.

Perhaps it was a bad idea for you to come. That was what the slow progression of dinner had made you come to realize. You knew that your recklessness had been the thing that begun whatever this rift between brothers was, but you had hoped your very presence wasn’t enough to cause it to grow when so many other people were around.

Only you really noticed it at first, how neither brother seemed willing to speak to one another, but were pleasantly conversing with other people no issue. Quickly did their silence only between each other draw you into more of your own silence. Not the most chatty of the group you ever were, but now more then ever as Jon nor Robb would just talk to the other like normal, did you feel increasingly like you shouldn’t be there. That maybe without you, there wouldn’t be a reminder of this issue you caused between them.

It was obvious whose gaze you felt at one point, but you didn’t bother looking up at her. You didn’t have it in you to tell Sansa or Arya that clearly they’re assurance that everything would be fine wasn’t true and it would only ever reach the actual conclusion that you were the common denominator of a problem anymore. Months you had been the problem, and you seemed to never stop being it.

He was still young, a boy of eleven he had little filter on him and even then, there was still an innocence in why he asked it. Just pure curiosity as to how this sort of dynamic worked when Rickon in a beat of quiet between conversations he had looked over towards yourself and Jon, “Are you going to get married?”

The table growing even more quiet as most cutlery even stopped moving. The only voice was a more stern whispering hiss from Catelyn. “Rickon.” Who only protested that he just wanted to know. Jons eyes were wide and taken off guard as he looked to the eyes on him at the table, yours stuck to your plate unwilling to even meet their expressions at all.

Whatever eyes were trained on you both, you felt as if someone amongst them was making their gaze angry and uncomfortable to even risk looking up at. Luckily, a man acting the calm voice of reason at the best or most awkward of times did Ned be the one to speak up. “They’ve only just started seeing each other. Normally it takes two people a long time to agree to get married.”

But something seemed to have been pinging in the boys mind. Either unsatisfied with the answer, or needing more detail to scratch at that itch making him so curious. “But Jon’s known her for years, isn’t that enough time?”

Arya spoke next, more of a tone drenched in an amusement towards her brother as much as it took on a bit of a lecturing tone. “Father means when they’ve been dating for a long time. Besides, lots of people date and don’t get married.”

“But aren’t they supposed to?” The expressions of most of the Starks were in much more amusement just like Arya. The conversation taking a strange turn but as it was about Jon and yourself, most seemed to feel like they didn’t need to quell it before making anyone uncomfortable. A little bit of that in the Stark household was normal. Arya asking why he thought you two would supposed to get married now of all times, and did not a single person at the table expect the words to come out of Rickons mouth next.

“Because she’s pregnant.”

Without a shadow of a doubt, every single person there was now staring in a wide eyed shock towards you both. Your own mouth parted open in a confused stammer that never developed into words, Jon next to you looking akin to a spooked horse. There was not a word said as everyone looked to you both for an explanation but you sat with something that paralyzed your ability to speak.

The only pair of eyes that weren’t staring at you in a confused shock, were Robbs deep blue ones that as soon as you met them did they dart to Jons in what was an undoubted glare of suspicion.

An attempt to salvage the situation, Ned cleared his throat to ask his youngest where exactly he had heard that but the answer made less sense then before. “Jon was talking about it with someone on his phone.” His little brother turning to him with a more apologetic wince, “I wasn’t looking on purpose..”

Jons own head shifted slightly to the side as if he wished to tell his little brother it was alright but there was an obstacle in his way just like there was you. Only, you didn’t know what that meant, and Jon clearly did despite how little it told you what brought Rickon to this conclusion. Trying to speak through something rough in his throat Jon attempted to simmer down the situation with the most direct truth. “She uh...” Running a hand over his mouth he forced the words out through what everyone could tell was the most uncomfortable they’d ever seen him. “She’s not pregnant.”

“Oh. But I thought-”

Rickon being interrupted by Catelyn, sternly looking to him no doubt trying to drop this discussion if not for Jons sake, then certainly yours. “Rickon. You shouldn’t be looking at messages on other people’s phones, it’s an invasion of privacy.”

Arya tried to ease it as well, “And you thought you saw something that wasn't even true anyways.”

Trying to protest with something else, Catelyn again shut it down telling him that was enough, but it was for mostly nothing. Very suddenly did the loud scratch of wood dragging against the floor ring out as you pushed back from the table. Barley managing to mutter out an “Excuse me.” The name muttered beside you hardly even registered as Jon before you had walked passed all of the eyes at the table and found your winding path the door outside.

The no sounds within the house shut away the moment you closed the sliding glass behind you, only the sounds of night and nature out. The breeze of the wind felt both refreshing and relieving on your skin, the nerves flowing through nearly having made a light sheen of sweat come over you in the time it took your feet to reach here. Your heart felt like it begun to race enough your hands grasped at the railing against the edge of the deck, leg bent back at the knee as your head dropped.

The tightness in your chest as if something heavy sat atop it and everything felt too overwhelming as if the anxiety overtook the remainder of your senses, replacing it with it’s stinging ire as your mind told you what you already know, you shouldn’t have even come. Ever since the day you called Jon to come get you from Karl Tanner’s house, you had kept screwing up the lives of the Starks over and over and the weight felt insurmountable without even being able to explain to yourself why.

Shoving his brother in the side did Bran shout at him, “Look what you did.” Rickon had no qualms about shouting back that he didn’t do anything but Bran didn’t let up as much as he did. “Why did you even say that?” Again his little brother only shouting back more angry that he just wanted to know as tempers flowed between them.

“You didn’t just ask, you made assumptions about things you don’t understand.” Rickon shouting back now to Arya that he did understand but the more voices raised the easier it was for the three of them to rile each other up further, and the more Ned had to play referee to get his children to stop.

There was a deep guilt sitting in Jons stomach, it was a misunderstanding from something he knew his youngest brother didn’t grasp was something he shouldn’t have just said to the whole family. But he knew it was still on his shoulders, he should’ve deleted the messages days ago. He should’ve never kept them, never looked at them again and Rickons wandering eyes wouldn’t have been in the perfect spot for one singular moment to get the wrong idea.

He felt very little compulsion however, to say a word as he got up to follow you. He could feel the remainder of eyes not currently entangled in an argument look up at him, but with shoulders tense and his jaw clenched trying to breathe evenly did Jon swiftly pass by everyone else out of the room.

An idea of where you’d likely go, but before Jon could get anywhere near the back of the house did a voice stop him that he truly did not want to deal with right now. “Snow.”

Stopping in place, Jons eyes closed as long as it took to exhale roughly, before turning around to see an equally as aggravated Robb come up to him. It was a short, barking tone but Jon was not in the mood for the look in his brothers eye who was as ready no doubt to chew him out as he did months ago on the phone. “What, Robb?”

Closing the gap, his brother had the decency to lower his voice to a mutter rather then allow anyone else to hear them. “How about you start by telling me what went on back there?” Jon barley rasping out that they could do this later, only to have Robb grab him by the shoulder and roughly pull Jon back to face him. “Or you tell me now before I let you follow her out there and make her feel worse.”

In an instant did Jons eyes darken as they narrowed, stepping up more into his space Jon let an edge sit right at the back of his throat. “You think I wanted Rickon to say all that? That I wanted her to get embarrassed in front of everyone?”

Robb kept his tone as falsely calm as he could knowing Jon did not buy it. “No, but what I do want to know is what in seven hells were you talking about in the first place that made him think that?”

It took a significant amount of effort within Jon not to raise his voice. He knew saying it bordered on petty, but it came out along with the anger anyways as he muttered, “What I say to my friends about my girlfriend has nothing to do with you.”

Neither took the high rode, to simply allow the anger sit apart from one another until a civil discussion could be had. “We all tried to protect her from her ex’s before. She’s still my friend, why shouldn’t I still protect her now?” Jon said not a word, whatever his brother was trying to imply, his silence was daring him to have the bravery and say it. The way Robb didn’t have the bravery to still even admit the only reason he cared this much was because he was jealous.

But Robb didn’t say it, the way he didn’t before and Jon only shook his head slow and once. “You don’t even know what you’re trying to protect her from, because you know there isn’t anything. You know I’m not trying to hurt her, or embarrass her.” Should he have said it when Robb hadn’t actually said his own side in truth? Jon wasn’t sure, but he felt the line in the dirt trying to be crossed and he was putting a stop to it before either of them went too far. “And I sure as hell never protected her from all her ex’s because I wanted to be the one to prove I was better for her.”

Robb’s expression twitched, but did not make a chance, nor did Jon care about waiting to see what that would be. He wanted to make a bigger problem out of everything then it all was because he hated that he for once felt like the one on the outside. But Jon wasn’t responsible for getting his brother passed that feeling, not by a long shot.

But, that didn’t stop the fact that his own brother, his closest companion his whole life, had suddenly decided Jon was simply no better then the men who abused you before him. And it didn’t stop the fact that as much as it made Jon angry, it also hurt a great deal to feel Robb losing that trust in him so quickly.

A warm had suddenly pressed against your upper back, the startled jump you followed with just as suddenly simmer down to a relaxed feeling beyond even what you were moments before. Jon came up close next to you, standing up straight to your leaning figure without invading your space too much when he wasn’t sure how much you had come down yet. “Do you want me to get-”

Shaking your head, your voice a bit weak but not anywhere near as shaking as you suspected he thought it would’ve been. “No, it’s alright. I’m fine.” Muttering a question of if you promised, and you nodded. Only to add right away in what you knew he preferred to hear out loud. “I promise. I just..I needed some air. I- I don’t know why I freaked out for a moment.”

Looking more up to where he stood, there was that narrowed worry in his brows but that shine which echoed so beautifully in the moonlight of his grey eyes bright looking down at you. “I’m so sorry, darling.”

You took him by surprise, how little you held any of those nerves or worry in your voice or person whatsoever as you shook your head. Pushing to stand up a bit straighter, you felt Jon turn a bit to lean his back against the railing to face you better. “Unless you paid Rickon to embarrass both of us in front of your family, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

A doubt washing across his face it was as if a force was compelling him to explain himself in the manner you would ramble, but if Jon didn’t like when you did that, you wouldn’t let him either. Trying to begin explaining the misunderstanding, you grasped gently at his hand. Pulling it to your front as you shifted to face him, both hands opening up his fingers curled into themselves and gently toyed with them before you let your other hand loose so it could sit more against his stomach. “Jon.” His eyes finding yours, soft and genuine as if the roles were revered against his now worried ones. “You don’t need to justify saying something about me in private to your friends. I’ve talked about you in private before.”

As if the worry dropped, did Jons eyes glint with something playful as a small smirk came to his lips, “Oh?” His free hand now grabbing at your waist, his other toying with your hand that still gently held his. “What exactly does a girl like you say about her boyfriend in private when he’s not around?”

It was a skill, as soon as the roles reversed between you did Jon gain the upper hand all over again as you instantly felt flustered at his implication. The stammer now much more real trying to protest against the handsome grin on his face. “I don’t- it isn’t about anything like that.” Trying to pull away did Jon twist so he could snatch at your hand toying with his and tug you into his front more. Grabbing your other to do the same when you let the other try to squirm free too. The laugh building in your chest, trying to keep it withheld when he was like this, not to spur him on more. “I only meant when I’m worried about things, I bring you up.”

Narrowing his eyes ever so slightly, Jon did not let it go. “That doesn’t really narrow anything down.”

He let out the first genuine laugh, as soon as your face fell flat. A hand moving to cup your cheek, Jon let the amusement between you both linger for a minute as he let his thumb trail over your cheek and jaw, keeping your gaze locked onto his before he found his voice, soft and gentle once more. “It was something Tormund was saying, what Rickon saw.” Clarifying when your face had turned to a more confused one. “He’s young, he didn’t understand what we were talking about. He just saw your name and something about getting pregnant and put the dots together thinking I was talking about you right now.”

It wasn’t meant as an interrogation, and in your mind you knew Jon didn’t take it was one but you hesitantly asked it regardless. “Do...do you and him talk about me getting pregnant a lot?”

Jons shrug was followed with something affectionate in his voice, but also there was something to tell you that he wasn’t being dishonest either. Even through the confidence he said it, pulling you by your waist just a bit closer to him. “More often then never.”

Biting down on on your tongue, you attempted to mask the fluster from invading your smile but Jon would’ve seen it anyways as you muttered, pretending as if it was to yourself alone. “I’m not sure I even want to know how that conversation came about between you two.”

Unbeknownst to you, Jon felt that weight in his heart again. Both in a knowing and an anger for why in the first place, but not coming close to making you feel as if that feeling was even there save if you mistaken it towards you. “No, probably not.” Asking gently if he wanted to go back inside, Jon instead chose to turn you in place. Putting your front back against the railing of the deck, as both of his arms came to perch against them encasing you between them and his front now warm against your back.

A tender rasp as he leaned down to your ear. “Let me keep you out here a while. By the time they bring out dessert, everyone will have moved on.” A large hand coming up to pull back the hair draped over your shoulder, moving it to lay against the other as he tucked the stubborn loose strands behind your ear. His lips pressing just once against the skin of your neck as he muttered into it. “Now when I actually get you pregnant, they’re not going to believe me.”

“Jon-” Loudly protesting his name with a laugh, Jon wrapped his other hand around your front to keep you in his arms as he laughed loudly right back. Only he could be the one to embarrass you it seemed.

“You’re an idiot.”

The manner which Robb turned to glare at Sansa was not unlike the stern warning kind he’d given all of his younger siblings many times before, as was the tone low but even hissing from him. “Don’t start.”

As if she didn’t hear, Sansa came to invade where he stood. Blocking the view he had of the outside back of the house all together, her frustratingly tall height meant that unless he physically moved her himself, he couldn’t avoid her irritated attitude towards him. “You don’t get to be the one pushing for your brother to date your friend, only to get angry with him when he finally does it. That’s on you for not doing anything in the first place.”

Narrowed his eyes at her with a tilt of his head, Robb found even more warning in his tone which Sansa did not at all take to heart. “That is not what this is about, Sansa.” Only challenging back that wasn’t it? Turning enough to unblock his view of the outside, right at the edge of the window’s view could one just manage to see Jon and you on the upper deck. You tucked back into his chest, with gentle smiles and laughs being shared in your perceived outdoor privacy.

Without even thinking, did Robbs eyes get drawn right back to the sight only to realize with a huff and a roll of them away from it did he know Sansa had caught him red handed. And she spared no time addressing it. “If you were interested in her, then you never should have encouraged Jon to make a move after what happened with Ramsay. You can’t push him to have what you wanted, and then get angry when he does.” Commenting as he refused with an annoyance that isn’t what happened, she shot right back. “So what did happen that you’re so angry at him about? Beacuse you’re clearly not angry at her, everytime Jon even so much as looked in her direction during dinner you looked like you wanted to hit him.”

Robb kept everything he said to a minimum, knowing that it was all too possible Sansa would hear the wrong thing and run with it. “I’m just looking out for her, after what happened.”

Her face twisted towards him as if she though him daft. Gesturing back out to you both out the window her voice talked down to him the same. “Yes, they really look like there is so much to worry about between them.” Forcing Robb to look back at her she stepped back in front of him. “He made a mistake, you were there for her and now that he fixed things, you’re jealous because you liked it when it was you she needed.”

He said nothing, not that he thought Sansa expected him too. Glancing away there was not a complete lack of truth in what she said, but he would not give her the fuel by saying it out loud. He didn’t like being jealous and angry at Jon as much as Jon no doubt hated the new rift between them. They so rarely fought about anything, and it was always awful when they did. As if the wolfs blood in both of them heated to a feral degree and turned them into animals over it.

Shaking her head though, Sansa clearly decided for the night, any further lecture was not worth it. “If you want her, Robb? Do something about it. Beacuse standing here being angry about it, isn’t working. So maybe try something that actually does.”

He didn’t care to watch as she walked off, a lecture from his little sister was not what Robb wanted tonight, but it did give him a lot to think about. He didn’t know what his own goal was at the end of this journey of jealousy was, but stealing you from his own brother was not the ending he envisioned would make a single person involved even remotely happy.

But she was right, because Jon was right. Robb was jealous. He was jealous because feelings for you sneaked up on him with no warning and now he was left lost as to what to do about it. For the first time, he felt completely directionless when it came to a girl and even worse, he already was doing the wrong things to handle it.

For once though, Robb managed to force himself away from the window and out of the room instead of brewing on that jealousy until he did something even stupider then what he was blaming Jon for in the first place.

It was almost amusing, returning back here in such a different state of mind considering what brought you to this place last. The red of the leaves even in the night sky looked so vivid and bright against the white bark fresh like snow. Jon had suggested walking the property a little bit, knowing it would help ease what was left bogging down both of your minds. Ending up by the heart tree in the godswood, you found a smile half climbing its way onto your face that caught Jons attention.

Glancing up to him, he only playfully narrowed his expression as he tilted his head in inquiry. You shrugged a shoulder, wrapping your arms around one of his as you leaned comfortably into his warm side as you both stood in front of the Weirwood. “The last time I was here was after I took off during the Winter Harvest.”

Jons eyes were preoccupied, bright as they looked all around as the trees surrounding always helped made the godswood feel as if it were separate from the rest of the property. You could perfectly imagine when winter hit, him standing right where he was now, but the snow gentle as it collected in his curls, making the inky black stand out so much more against the contrasted snowflakes melting one by one in their thick lusciousness. You almost missed him speaking entirely were you not so close. “Why?” Shaken out of your dreaming gaze, did you make a noise in the back of your throat as if asking him to repeat himself. No doubt you had been caught staring, the small smile on his lips as he repeated, “Why come here that night?”

Inhaling deeply, you tried to think through the rationality. You had been very intoxicated by the time you found yourself here, sitting with your back against the Weirwood in the too small, far too revealing dress as the cool winds sobered you up. “I’m not sure, really. I just left, and something somewhere in me wanted to come here.”

Grey eyes stared down at you with a wondering, but he didn’t rush to say what came to mind before he found the proper words through a deep, thoughtful inhale. Only, stopping himself before he could even open his mouth with a gentle laugh to himself. “What?” Shaking his head, you failed to force a pretending frown over your genuine smile. “Fine, don’t tell me.”

Your own intention was to wander closer to the small pond of water feet in front of the carved face only to suddenly be pulled back by Jon the moment you strayed too far. Turning you to look up at him your hands held at his waist to steady yourself, while he own held at one arm and the other traced itself along the side of your head. The softness in his eyes remained but something from deeper within came forward. Akin to a frown of something more genuine came over as he let his thumb run along your jaw as if tempted to trace across to your lips.

His voice just a gentle rasp as he slid the hand on your arm down to your hip. “You came here that night, because part of you knows you belong here.” Your eyes flashed in question, which he elaborated, thumb seeking up along the soft skin of your cheek. “Even my father knew you’d come here.”

Your head turned to the side for a moment as you considered it, but if there was anything you couldn’t deny, it was that you felt at peace standing here with Jon in that very moment. It was quiet and meek and just perhaps, it slipped out before you could stop yourself. “Or maybe it’s just because I belong here with you.”

Jon’s expression didn’t change, nothing changed. You wished it would, that he would laugh or scoff and tease you for saying something like that but he didn’t. And part of you could only wonder if perhaps he knew you said it without meaning to, and returned the favour by choosing to voice one of his own. The hand on your hip trailing a big more, his large hand reaching to where you didn’t pay attention. His head dropped somewhat as he said it, not meeting your eyes as his face twisted. An anticipation against what he was about to say. “Would it really be so bad?”

“Would what be so bad?”

Peeking back up to meet your eyes, you felt where his hand had travelled. Thumb putting just enough pressure down that you felt him run it up and down against your lower stomach, a shine in his eyes of something much more on edge then before. “Would it be so bad if you were pregnant?”

Part of you wanted to have more of a reaction. Shock or taken aback, ask where that came from or what he was talking about. Have an unknown feeling swirling in the pit of your stomach, but no. Your voice only spoke as gentle as his muttered, but without the nerves. “I don’t know. It wouldn’t be the worst thing thats ever happened.”

Finally a hint of a laugh left him. Jon never more handsome then when a smile or laugh came over his face as if it lightened up the best of his features more then you thought possible. More properly cupping your cheek, Jon pulled you just a bit closer. “Could move you with me into the house for a while. Give my sisters a chance to drive you crazy for a bit. He’d be able to be born surrounded by family.”

A playful smirk more came over you that he caught on quickly too. “He? Deciding it’s a boy this far ahead?”

Running his thumb a feather light path over your bottom lip, Jon leaned in to let his nose trace over yours, a slight nudge as he spoke, feeling you return the gesture. “I didn’t decide anything. I already know he’s a boy.” You found a laugh as Jon repeated the gesture, saying that he didn’t even exist yet.

Pulling you up to look him in the eye, your mouth opened then closed once more thinking it over, but just found something warm within your veins travelling all over and low. Your hands reached up around the back of his neck to hold there, watching his grey eyes grow darker and darker the longer he looked at you. “I think we have a few steps before we get there.”

His hand was warm as he let it slide under the bottom of your shirt, running over the skin against your stomach before seeking out your waist, hand growing more and more bold as he ran along your side, palm against your bare skin. Slowly you felt yourself moving backwards at Jons command, step by step until suddenly did your back come into contact with the trunk of the Weirwood, Jons voice as deep as his accent rasped thick. Leaning down, his lips hovered right over yours as your eyes fluttered closed, the hot brush of his breath swiping across your skin. “Doesn’t mean we can’t practice.”

The smallest of gasps left you, which Jon took the advantage of, and pressed his lips to yours. Cupping both your cheeks, Jons lips were soft and guiding as you let your hands wrap tighter around the back of his neck. His own body stepping forward as you leaned up with an eagerness that has Jon press you further against the Weirwood.

He always begun gentle, but it never lasted. Something in Jon did not have the capability to stay calm and slow when he had you to himself. Deeper and deeper he kissed you, around you nothing but the sounds of bugs in the night, the breeze of wind through the trees and the press of hips lips to yours over and over. Never bothering to pretend he was going to pull away before he started all over again.

One hand slid to hold at the back of your neck, a firm grip as if keeping you steady while the other trailed downward to the buttons at the front of your jeans. No shame held, nor even needed to pull back or open his eyes to have one done then another before the hand on your neck tilted you to the side. Barely allowing himself to tear from your lips to run his tongue along your neck with his lips pressing down to follow each brush.

A buzz slowed through you as if one had begun to drink a tad too much, but never did you feel any dizziness with it. Only something warm flowing through you faster and faster as you begun feeling the cold air hit your hips and lower. Just barley stopping before any of you was exposed to the night, did Jon bite down. The sting burned through you, back arching into him as you gasped with a cry of need.

Hands grasping tightly at what you could reach of him but your eyes fluttered as he sucked down to mark the indents with a bruise with no care for where you both truly were. “Jon..”

Pulling from your neck, his lips still parted with something wanting to growl in his chest. Eyes black as the sky above, only he grabbed the sides of your jeans once more and pressed his lips urgent but quick lasting to yours. Rasping against you, as if he was about to give you no choice. “Let me do this, darling.”

Nodding with a breathlessness, Jon barley let himself kiss you once more before he kneeled down. Dragging your jeans and under carefully down. Swiftly pulling the slip ons on your feet off and taking the rest of it off, your bare half cold to the world, shaking in a blur of nerves as well. Your toes curled as the leaves under you felt cold as well, but Jon was so warm as he stayed knelt in front of you.

A large hand grasped gentle at your calf, prompting you to lift your foot up off the ground. Your hand reached out, grasping at a low branch by you just as Jon gently shushed you. Pressing his lips to your calf and up to your knee, muttering between each one. “I’ve got you, it’s alright.”

If he saw you nod, you weren’t sure. Your eyes closing at the realization of what he was in fact doing, rising your leg up enough so that your thigh was rested over one of his shoulders. His other hand pressed against your inner thigh pushing enough to indicate he wanted you to spread wider. Your face was flush with something as turned on as it was nervous doing so, but again his rasp was so deep and comforting in the quiet.

Upwards he made a path along your inner thighs closer and closer to the warmth between your legs. “Just a taste, I promise.” Though, you both knew that to Jon, a taste could very easily be much more over indulgent to one then another.

He had ceased to give up on ensuring every part of you along the way had contact with his lips in a kiss, your hand tightening around the branch as the sudden feeling washed over you as he did so along you up to your clit. Yet there was when he had truly begun.

Sucking the sensitive bundle of nerves you cried lightly out as your head fell back against the bark, eyes fluttering closed as he increased the pressure with no shame. Hand still on your thigh of the leg standing was tight before he eased up both, a warning of sorts to trust him.

Replacing with his tongue, brushes against your clip were short at first. Quick but in patterns that were tight and purposeful as your heart beat out of your chest and your insides twisted around a burning flame. Longer brushes soaked you as you felt yourself drawing closer and closer.

Normally sometimes you found yourself in a fight against it. The fear as if once you let yourself go, he would stop there when you needed him, but you had not the time you wished together, not here at least. Your other hand barley let itself rest along his curls as if worried of grasping anything too roughly, but again over and over his tongue dragged you along as he gave your clit nothing but fervent attention.

The wave flowed close, and with just a taste he promised you allowed yourself to be flooded through with your end. Hand curling into his locks, a tighter pull then meant dragged a growl against you, the vibrations only causing him to suck your clit as if to torment you as much as you didn’t mean to him. But he did not pull away.

No, Jon shoved your leg wider, and found himself the taste he most desired with no care for the property he acted it upon. Barley with a voice you muttered out, “Wait, Jon..you said..”

But he didn’t care. Running his tongue along your folds before he let his mouth drink from you out of nothing but a need. For you yes, but his hands held at you tightly, grasping with a mean grip you could not fight if you wished too, but dragging his tongue over the wetness you were soaked with only created a circle that gifted him more and more.

Running along what he could inside of you, whatever warmth you were to him, so was he dragging his tongue along every inch he could brush along. Dragging out everything you had, a growl vibrated against you as your hand grasped more at his curls, again and again the cycle repeated as he refused any chance for your wetness to go anywhere but his tongue. To let it go to waste where he couldn’t taste it.

Your lungs burned trying to keep every sound to yourself, biting down against your lip enough you could feel it asking to tear just the slightest, but you soaked Jons mouth as much as he left a stain of his saliva against you as a symbol of his work. That he drank from you one, and left another as if needing to prepare you.

Closer and closer he pulled you to a second, but this time he would slow. Run gently back to your clit and along your folds. His facial hair scratched raw against your upper thighs, marks showing the irritation against his mouth but as you cried he groaned into your cunt in his own need. The taste of you alone had Jons cock throbbing behind his own jeans and it was insufferable in his mind he had to put up with his mind wanting more, when all he truly needed was this.

The taste between your legs but the moment you felt your orgasm come drawing closer for a third, he no longer took it from you. Bracing his hands more against you, Jon kept you pinned down against his mouth however much his strength could, and your head fell backwards with a needing cry of his name as your orgasm burst through you like a star exploding in the sky above.

Whatever wetness you had, Jon tasted it, he drank from you until he was all that was left and your lungs burned trying to keep it down. Thighs shaking you hadn’t even noticed he gently placed your other leg to stand back down, until he stood up.

Cupping both your cheeks, Jon gave you no time to feel something shy about what of you was left against his lips before he shared his addiction with it’s source. His tongue gliding into your mouth right away, his kiss only attacking as you gasped for air and he stole it all for himself. Brushing his tongue over yours, you never grasped what he liked about it, but you always obeyed him the same.

Leaning more over you again, Jon pressed you back against the tree from where you leaned off of it. Without even thinking, it was as if he consumed your mind and you fell victim to his bewitching. Hands moving to do his bidding, did Jon kiss you deeper and deeper as you begun unzipping his jeans, only to move a hand down himself. Grasping your hands to motion for him to do the work, Jon refused to leave your lips.

Wrapping around one leg, Jon let go of your other cheek to grasp at the other. Feeling your hands around the back of his neck, Jon instead of what you expected, suddenly hoisted you up. Pressing you tight against the Weirwood, his forehead resting against yours as he rasped, “I love you.”

Nodding back, your voice hardly managed to return before you felt the tip of his cock drag against you. The moment the saliva coating between your legs let him tease at slipping inside of you, Jon spared not a second longer without doing so. A deep growl turned groan left Jon, head dropping to bite down against your neck leaving you to only grasp around his shoulders with a gentle moan.

He was the opposite of what he had begun as, slowly did he move. His cock sliding with such shamelessly little resistance deep inside of you, stretching you against his thick length with a sting that you burned for. Almost all the way out he pulled before working along your sensitive walls, hiding in his curls as you wrapped your arms around him tighter.

Had any watched, it wouldn’t even have looked as if he was moving much at all, but you felt him, you felt him fill you as your chest twisted inside around and around as it build within you that desperate white hot core only he ever created within you. You must have cried his name louder then you thought, kissing a path to your ear his voice as as heavy as your mind felt, “I know, darling, I know. Just stay with me, I know it’s a lot.”

Barley nodding, you couldn’t help but clench so tightly around his length as he filled you slowly over and over. Each time he found himself unable to leave your warmth more and more, now only pulling out halfway before sinking back as deep as you could take him. Your breath felt like it never recovered, your body warm and covering itself with something almost turned to sweat as you tired to tilt his head up to you again, desperate for him to kiss you into quiet.

Never deny as such, Jon kissed you deeply with another groan from him turned a higher pitched whine from you which never escaped. Closer and closer he dragged you right to that end, it was never destined to last long, not here, but it all felt overwhelming.

The tenseness of inside, the words shared, or maybe just the location against a symbol of the faith his family always held belief in as Jon had no shame in taking you here. Pulling back, he rasped close enough you felt his lips brush yours with ever word. “They were right. We took long enough to get here, I’m not waiting for anything else.”

Your mind was too fuzzy to truly know what he was even saying before you nodded, “Please Jon, please..”

Sinking inside of you over and over, you shook in his touch but he never wavered as his thrusts didn’t either. “Already made love to you here, now we have to get married here too.” What were you even nodding in agreement of? You didn’t know, you just heard his voice against you, his cock so deep and thick inside of you and knew you’d do anything he wanted this way.

As if sealing something of a deal, a pact, signing away your fate did Jon kiss you as both of you found your ends together as if meant to. Your soaking walls clenched tight around him, almost refusing the chance that he would pull out of you as his cock throbbed before his orgasm hit only seconds after yours burst around him.

Slow grinding thrusts as Jons seed spilled deep inside of you, never letting himself stop as each thick spurt was fucked into you as if with purpose. Hiding your head in his hair, Jon too pressed his lips to your neck as you both came and came down together.

Your heart still catching your lungs up to speed, Jon muttered roughly, “Hold on, darling.” Not knowing what he meant before you grasped tightly at him, a whine biting back down as he pulled out of you, the stretch of him always made it more sensitive. Just as slow, Jon guided you back down to the ground, turning you by your cheek up to look at him, he pressed his forehead to yours. His hands quickly putting himself back together, before pulling you up to his lips.

Lingering against you with just as much of a slowness, but the passion radiated through it’s chasteness with no issue reading the words behind it. You returned just as much.

By the time he finally managed to help you with your own clothes, he looked needing but fine, you looked nothing but a mess only able to look up at him. A laugh breathed out as he ran his nose along yours. “Maybe we stay here a bit longer.” Your arms wrapped around his shoulders, finding yourself just leaning into his front as his other hand cupped the back of your head, smoothing down your hair as his other wrapped around you to keep you pressed into him. “Wait until you don’t look like such a beautiful mess for me.”

You could only nod. Both of you standing there for a little while longer. Jon found his mind able to think a little clearer. He would never do anything to hurt you in any way again, but neither did Jon want to hurt his brother. Not with this tension between them, or by forcing him to just deal with his jealousy and get over it with no compassion.

Something had to be done, but as you lifted your head to gently capture your lips with his once more before he would guide you back to the main house, Jon was completely lost as to what that would be. But he knew he had to think quickly, because he knew Robb and he knew until he was sure Jon had no malicious intentions, he would not give up the fact that not to your apparent knowledge, had Jon seemed to be discussing something about getting you pregnant.

Which wasn’t wrong. Tormund had started it, but Jon didn’t exactly shut that conversation down when he had the chance. It was all terribly complicated in his head. Because as much as he didn’t want to hurt his brother, still Jon thought, now more then ever, did he find it nearly impossible to ignore what Tormund suggested in the first place.

“Get her pregnant, then. No more obvious way to mark her as yours Snow, then to put a son in her.”

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