#Hard to put this kind of thing into words

[strawberry-nugget]

To fill the empty spaces | 1

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugo x reader

Summary: Katsuki has been a single father for five years. After his wife died shorty after giving birth to their son, he's not sure he's ever going to find happiness in mundane things anymore. Cue you, the new, young teacher at his son's kindergarden, who seems to be taking the best care of his little guy.

-Or alternatively, karma is a quirkless bitch that will be biting Katsuki in the ass for his entire life, whether it's in him having a quirkless son, or falling for you, a younger woman, his son's teacher, who lost her quirk as a child before the Overhaul arc.

Tags: MDNI, Dilf!Bakugo, single dad!Bakugo, teacher!reader, slowburn, mutual pining, slice of life, fluff, eventual smut, ten year old age gap, Kirishima is a sunshine.

A/N: be kind to me i wrote this five years ago and never had the guts to post it until now :> this will be a 3 part story so let me know if you want to be tagged in the following parts

There's a strange deception about bliss and felicity in life and it is much like the analogy of the sun shining brighter after a storm, or the beautiful shades of the rainbow that cast over the sky. Happiness is supposed to be earned somehow, through hardships, or at least that's what everyone has always preached about. 

How time has supposedly promised to bring you what you want, how the universe makes sure to give you what you're in need of when you need it most. You're expected to survive through the worst storm, pouring rain and eardrum grazing blowing wind and you're told it'll be worth it. So when you see trees get blown onto the ground or when you see crushing waves that are a hundred times bigger than the ones you've seen on normal days crash onto the shore and wipe everything in their wake you shouldn't react. 

The sun shining, the warmth of the light grazing kindly over the mountain tops far across your vision should be worth it. 

Until, it's not. 

Bakugo, at least, doesn't think it's worth it and he doesn't think that you have to walk a mile before you get to rest. Mostly because he doesn't get to rest, and because walking a mile, for him, is the easiest thing in the universe. He's had too much hardship to know there's no payoff other than slamming his body into his couch after a long shift and feeling his chest tighten at the thought that he's managed to save a life. 

For him, happiness is something you shouldn't chase or take for granted. 'There's such little time for us in the world' he keeps telling himself and every time he looks at the set of pictures on the tv shelf he knows his words are correct. When once he thought his happiness had found him, he'd put a ring on her and called it a day, had a fancy wedding, threw the biggest party when he topped the hero charts, cried when his son was born; he douched in bliss without knowing it was momentary and he paid the price of stomping over the steep top of the world by falling so hard that his bones could never fully heal. 

It's been five years since his wife died, since he's had to take care of his son on his own and he's managed it perfectly so far. Showing up on every play in kindergarten, waking up at five am to make him the cutest bento in his class, clothes crisp and smelling of expensive soap, always present on parent counseling days, always present on days kids were supposed to bring their parents in to talk about their jobs, always one call away from rushing to anything he ever wants. 

The phone always rings, without fail, every single day when Kiko's teacher leaves for retirement and a new one gets hired. 

You're young, probably just landed your first job with your preschool degree and you feel like a fish out of water running a class on your own. Bakugo knows because he's seen it too many times, with the kids of his friends, has seen it happen to new sidekicks, assistants and despite not having the patience to deal with a rookie teacher who panics about everything, he appreciates the concern about his son. 

So every single day, without fail, he picks up the phone (no matter if he's on patrols or doing paperwork) and begrudgingly answers your stuttered questions, “yes Kiko might not want more food but he's too shy to say it”, or “Kiko isn't allergic to the ointment your emergency box has to offer, but I packed the one his dermatologist gave him because it works best for his eczema”, or even “Yes I'm willing to talk about what Kiko keeps drawing this week.”

It's always a topic concerning overall health and attitude issues that a teacher who was called in two months before graduation and hasn't worked with the class for longer can't have knowledge on. And still, with raspy apologies, Bakugo promises to send you a few notes about your queries, because the other parents have already done so, and he's ashamed to be the last in line. 

Your voice gets more stern over time, your calls become shorter, so short that all you ever need to ask is who's picking up Kiko today—even though the answer never changes; Kirishima both drops him off and picks him up- and then you hang up. 

Today's call, though, catches him off guard, it makes his feet freeze on the ground, his teeth clash as his jaw tightens. You've dropped a bomb from the other side of the phone 

"His friend Daichi manifested today and we thought he wouldn't," You say, voice sounding far, crazed, digital. "I think it's high time we discuss that Kiko might be… quirkless." You breathe out after a long pause and for the first time today, you sound apologetic -as you should—like you're begging to say sorry about the situation, like it's your fault his son hasn't manifested a quirk. 

With his hand cupping his face, fingernails scratching at the seams of his jaw where just a slight scruff pokes out of his skin, Katsuki  sighs. He glances to his right, catching Kirishima's sharp smile.. His face snaps into a serious one when Bakugo says, "I'll be there at three." 

Thick fingers trample the screen of his phone pushing the end button a thousand times before he's assured he's hung up, shoving it into his pocket with a hitched groan.He looks over at Kirishima with hurt painted all over his face, feeling the mellow jabbing blooming inside his chest and in return he collects a serious gaze, one more apologetic wave burst that hits him in the stomach. Like a villain on a winter morning. 

The thing is, Kirishima is a friend close enough to know when something is wrong and this is a moment where Bakugo knows he won't keep his mouth shut. 

And so, the question isn't late, not even a second, it shoots out of his friend's mouth and it corners Bakugo into the nearest wall, his head spins, his eyebrows furrowed. 

"Kiko's teacher huh?" Kirishima questions and Bakugo nods and then he makes his note "you look bummed man. Is it that serious or did she ask if Kiko has any allergies again"

It's not like Bakugo doesn't need a little pushover to spill what's in his head, but still, he rasps what's left of a winter cold in his throat, clears his voice before he mutters "She said" his head is in his hands "that he might be quirkless"

Kirishima mouths an oh, silent, his jaw tensing like the blond's had a while ago, but his face doesn't contort in sadness like Bakugo's does, instead, his ears perk, his brows travel up against his forehead. 

"Don't worry bro, that doesn't make Kiko any less better than the rest of the kids."

That was quick and truly, Bakugo doesn't know where Kirishima finds all of this positivity. However, he supposes it's written over him like ink on a page, he's meant to see the good in any situation and put it on his plate, split his meal in half and call his glass full even when it's almost empty. Despite being in his early thirties and not being a schoolboy anymore there's always a goofy smile plastered all over his face and Bakugo thinks that maybe, maybe it helps him soothe that emerging ache inside his chest. 

Or maybe Kirishima should write a book about how to always see the good out of everything and retire from his career as a pro hero to be a life coach. Because Kiko might be the son of Dynamight, but Bakugo's head is suddenly filled with images he's shoved to the back of his brain. 

Kiko is the son of the number two hero, without a quirk in class full of gifted kids, he's expected of so much and there's so little he can give back because he's a child, a shy little child that Katsuki had to bring up on his own. And as Kirishima rambles about important people that are quirkless Bakugo keeps thinking about the times his son falls asleep in his arms and how guilty he feels for being a mean kid to Izuku for being quirkless, how he couldn't handle it well if anyone treated his child like that. 

"His teacher is quirkless too" Kirishima says, patting Bakugo's back softly but that raises an eyebrow of the blond's. How exactly does he know that? 

Not that it's his place to ask, or rather shoot this -gossipy- question at Kirishima, but there's a curious part of him when it comes to you. Apart from the fact that you sound like you're about to shit your pants every time you're on the phone with him, he's managed to land his eyes on one precious kindergarten picture of Kiko's class with you in the middle. And he can't really see much, not with a naked eye and not with his glasses, you simply have a smile on your face that matches the kids' but still you look proper enough to have landed the job at that prestigious preschool. 

So when Kirishima adds a small "she's very cute and very smart" Bakugo gets a bit irked at him. He says it like he's the lead in a drama talking about the qualities of her crush even though she's being treated like shit most of the time. 

There's a bursting feeling inside him that makes him shoot a question directly into Kirishima's face. "Are you flirting with my son's teacher?" 

"Nope" Kirishima puckers his lips and looks away

Bakugo couldn't really care less about Kirishima's love life, he grunts, but there's this fear that overwhelms him when he thinks about his itty bitty baby son dragging Kirishima into the car while he's flirting away with anyone that stands in his way. There's this throat tightening feeling when he imagines his baby's belly grunting in hunger, a panic when he thinks his shirt is sweaty enough for him to catch a cold, or even worse he waits until he gets home to tell Kirishima that he fell and scraped his knees at school today and Kirishima probably has his thoughts taken over by his flirting when he's promised to take care of Kiko. 

Sick sick sick. The thought makes him completely sick. Sick enough to consider working even less to be able to be the one to get Kiko from school every day. Fuck the hero ranks, fuck wanting to be the best. 

"... for you"

Kirishima's voice is nothing compared to the worries inside his head, but as a shiny drop of sweat falls over Bakugo's forehead he's forced to ask for a repeating of his words. 

"Come again?"

"Just saying man, just saying, she's uh, you'll like her" 

Whatever Kirishima suggests, Bakugo knows it's a nuisance, but he promises himself he'll talk to you about his concerns on the matter. You sound like a good teacher, like you worry about Kiko a lot and Bakugo thinks that he can trust you on not allowing his kid to be treated like he treated Izuku. 

Kirishima hunches Kiko over his shoulders the moment he walks out of the kindergarten doors. 

You can't suppress a giggle when you see the interaction, bent on waving them off with a little back and forth shake of your hand and a smile; in the two months you've been working here, Red Riot shows up almost daily to pick up Kiko, because -as you learn- Dynamight works longer shifts a few weeks before his son's birthday so he can take a few days off. 

And when March is about to roll around the corner and you're still unsure of the fact if that's possible, your coworkers that have been here before you keep reminding of you on the daily, that it's only a few days down the line that Kiko's father will be picking him up at twelve every day and then they run off to the break room to talk about how they can't wait to feast their eyes on Dynamight -because he looks so damn good in person. As always you excuse yourself, the subject of Dynamight's attractiveness being something that isn't really your concern to talk about. 

Mostly, you have your views on how he's come to treat the daily heroic deeds like an office job, and although you suppose that as a single parent he doesn't have much choice you often compare the bits and pieces of today's Dynamight to the one from tens of years ago, when you watched him on TV debuting as a pro, fresh out of college. You frankly remember tricking your mother so you could zap between channels to simply watch him go, watch him beat villain after villain. 

You're sure there's a routine in being a hero for over a decade, what you do and what you don't, how when you're faced with choices to set priorities you take your own paths in life. And that's probably how Dynamight gets to have a week to himself for him and Kiko -you wonder, if Kiko is happy at home with his dad, if that week helps him feel like his father is an ordinary human being, not someone that gives a piece of him to everyone- if there are evenings of quietness where the hero's phone doesn't ring with an emergency. 

And would he do it for anyone else? 

You've always been fascinated by heroes like him, the sheer amount of courage it takes to be your own person and have a life, live your own heaven or hell and then go about your days trying to make sure the world is safe. 

You wonder if Dynamight's yearly one week absence makes any difference to the hero world, but as you look at Kiko writhing over Kirishima's shoulder you're convinced that it doesn't.

There's probably a faded Dynamight poster hung onto the wall of your childhood room that your mother's clinging onto, and there's probably a five year old child in you with bright gleamy eyes like Kiko's watching the UA sports festival, amazed by the blond. 

Perhaps there's this fangirl of a child inside you when you call him that's screaming at you for having the guts to put on your big girl voice and talk to him. And sometimes you distinctly remember crying your eyes out the day he got married, so much that your middle school friends kept rubbing that on your face even until graduation. 

Still your curious eyes travel back onto Kiko. He's twisting himself over Kirishima's shoulders and a part of your heart drops at how dangerous this looks from afar. But it's impossible for this mountain of a man to drop someone as small as Kiko. And the contagious giggle of the child is finally getting to you- Kiko doesn't usually laugh that much in class, nor does he ever seem as active as he is when Kirishima picks him up. 

It makes you wonder, just how his interactions with his father are. 

Kiko is a ball of energy at home, sometimes, Dynamight tells you. 

Or rather, grunts at you. 

He gets to the kindergarten on 3.17pm with a fresh split on his cheek and pouty lips. And he mutters that he is more than sorry for being late, although there's nothing to be sorry for, you tell him, because he is a hero and that's a job he can't clock out the second he wants. 

"I'm working on it" He says and red eyes gleam dangerously into yours. You can't shake the feeling that he's angry. At you? At himself? At the villain that delayed him? 

"It's really no big deal" You mutter, breath choked inside your chest and you gesture to him to have a seat across from you in the break room. 

Your chest aches in a fast heartbeat; this is the same Dynamight that used to look back at you through a piece of shiny magazine paper in your teenage room- his eyes are deeper than carmine, with vermillion specs and copper rings adorning his irises. That's definitely something the poster in your room would never show you; the missing high quality of such fierce eyes, it's almost hard to speak when you look into them. 

When you inspect his face from this close, your mind runs back to your coworkers, how they always talk about him and how beautiful he is- for a second you don't blame them, you'd love to gawk over him too, forgetting your words stare into those slant red eyes and get lost into them- but this is your big girl job. Your first serious job, and the faint expression line between Dynamight's brows signifies that your excitement has to be cut short. 

He's not here to cater to you healing your inner teenager by looking at a person you were a fan of. 

So you cough in your bent elbow to relieve the tension in your neck, your chest, and you arrange the notes in your hand by shaking them onto the table next to you. 

"Would you like anything to drink? Water? Tea?" You offer and the hero shakes his head. 

"No, I'm good"

You wonder if his wound hurts, or if he's nervous of what you're about to discuss with him- perhaps calling him to simply announce that his child is probably quirkless was a little bold of you, but calling parents to counsel or inquire them about their kids is essential in this school, or so your boss had blabbered endlessly about. 

"These are a few notes about Kiko" You mutter quietly and hand him the pack of notes. It's not a pile, nor is it only two pages long. He glances at them with a sigh, tired eyes going over the paper before his fingers, thick and shaky with determination, reach out to take them from your hands, slightly brushing over yours. 

And your heart is on fire. Great. Exactly what you need to fix your gaze in how small the paper looks into his hands. We're his hands always this big? Were they this big in your poster? Even if they were, you can't think of it right now, you clear your throat again and eye the notes -not his hands, the notes- and say "you'll have to go over them at home if that's not a bother, it's mostly in class progress and some behavioral issues I've noticed-"

"Behavioral issues? What behavioral issues" 

It's his time to paint on panic all over his face, head twitching to your direction instinctively when the word drops from your mouth. You haven't had enough experience with panicked parents, especially being around panicked parents when you're panicked yourself, but there's a skip in your heart beat that urges you to prioritize your work over your thousand aeon old crush on Dynamight. He's nothing but a parent who's looking at you with a query like all others. 

"Is there anything wrong with my son?"

You shake your head, lips crushed together, jaw tight "no no," You kindly muster up your voice "He's a quiet one, I think we should work on him being a bit more social"

"He's plenty social with my friends"

"I've noticed" You nod once, thinking about how Kiko behaves towards Kirishima versus how he behaves towards his classmates "but it's important to be able to be a bit compatible with people his age"

Dynamight nods as well, eyebrows quirked and knitted at the same time, his eyes going over the pages of notes he's flipping through. "I understand" He gulps and you read through that look almost instantly

"He's not a problem child, if anything. He's very smart, very witty. Just very shy, very quiet"

There's a stillness of air, a lack of time and space as he drags his eyes across your face once again, papers clutched in his hands, his lips pursed together so tightly there are dents all over his jaw. Unlike him, he notices there aren't scars across your face, skin delicate, looking soft, plump, young. There's a tiredness in your face that can't match his, the level of what's weighing him down is more than you could ever graze in your life and you look young.

Kirishima, stupid shitty hair that he is, infiltrates his mind just now, the inside of his lips tucking under his teeth; you do look cute. He was right. Your clothes look comfortable, baggy but appropriate for work, with colors that would look nice and calming to the kids you're in care of and he suddenly gets why Kiko is so fond of you. 

You have your way of saying things. Carefully, tenderly. Like you could break him even by saying that Kiko doesn't know how to count to five. You fear you're going to break him by telling him things he already knows with a timid, shy smile across your face, a very polite voice, bowing again and again. There are no expression lines on your face, not one on your forehead, not nearly enough near your lips. 

"As for his quirk. I'd say it's very unlikely that he manifests one but you should give him some more time" You watch as he nods, eyes wide as you open your mouth again, "did his mother have a quirk?"

Bakugo almost hisses, the question caught him off guard, sent his eyes to the corners of his kids and forced a huff out of his mouth. The sorry you utter isn't necessary, he knows and tells you so, but the words he wants to speak gather inside his mouth, hide under his tongue. 

"I avoid talking about my late wife" He says and you bite your lip. You should have known. Dynamight's wife died in your late teens, but there wasn't much known to the public about her -maybe the fact that she was in UA with him, or maybe that she quit trying to be a pro at an early age- but her funeral was broadcasted by channels and you remember hungry media, restless reporters violating his personal space for a shot of him and his son. You remember the chaos, the mourning. 

Your face drops. 

Maybe life didn't go on for him as it did for you. Life wrinkled his eyes and dented his face . You think there's probably been a time he's had a very small baby in his arms, in his mid to late twenties, unsure of what to do, with not as plenty scars in his face -maybe just the one across his nose and the one over his lip- you can't help but stare and assume, perhaps a little rude at that. 

But for the record, you never would have thought you would be teaching in the preschool his son attends. 

"She was a psychic" Dynamight grunts through his teeth 

"Incomparable quirks sometimes cancel eachother" You yelp, quietly, then speed up your words as you add "I'm quirkless too, if that's any comfort, I got shot with a quirk nullifier when I was a kid on my way back home from school"

Whatever Dynamight thinks, he doesn't respond. He looks at you with big, red eyes, face contorted in an apologetic mask, one you've seen on TV after he catches himself swearing on live interviews. You wonder if you're comforting. Any. But you hope there's a part of him that feels like his son can be included somewhere, somehow. 

"M sorry" He finally mouths but it doesn't sound forced. It's more constipated when he adds "That must have been before the raid to arrest Overhaul" 

"Oh we were taught about him in hero ethics class"

Bakugo curls his brow, curiously. The leap in the generation between his and yours continues to grow, and he's aware now, more than ever. There was never a hero ethics class when he was at school. "Hero ethics?"

"Yeah, and basic quirk anatomy, they're like major subjects you have to take throughout all of your university years"

"I wouldn't know," He sighs, "but I'd like your advice on how to approach Kiko on the quirk thing. How do I say something that doesn't scar him, or hurt him?"

Your breathing gets caught in your throat before you ever come up with a reply. Words are forming in your brain, years of academic knowledge flowing in your neurons as you're trying to figure out the exact answer to this question, the words of endless professors turning your brain into mush. If you could think of a way to feel, you'd feel sorry for using Dynamight as a parent with whom you're challenging your skills. 

And in between year four basic quirk anatomy and child psychology for preschool teachers as an extra class you had to attend, you pick out a selection of exquisite words, woven by the wrinkles in your brain, washed over the anxiety in your gut. When you open your mouth, tongue dry and ready to clash with your palette, lips ready to make the first smack, voice almost at the brick of catching space in air, Dynamight's phone rings. 

"Oh fuck" He panicks, mouthing a quick apology, bowing his head, squinting his eyes "this is an emergency, I have to take it" He says and you nod. His fingers -you notice they're thick, too thick, the back of his hands rough and chapped so much it makes you gulp- quickly reach to push the button to accept the call and he curses when the touch of his screen seems to act up.

He curses again when it stops ringing, but his hands are quick to make searching motions, waving back and forth in the open space. He's searching for a piece of paper and a pen, anything, and you-smart as ever- give him the lilac paint marker in your hands and, of course your hand. When he clicks his tongue you cringe. You feel stupid, embarrassing, like earth could swallow you whole right now and you wouldn't have a damn thing to protest about. 

Still, he scribbles something on the back of your hand and the ticklish sensation of the nib across your skin kicks in instantly. When you read it you gasp, barely, and you hope he doesn't hear over the sound of his phone timing again. 

"This shit won't cooperate, help me" With pleading eyes he turns the phone to you, tapping his foot erratically and you pick up the signal; you swipe up the button and he presses it to his ear immediately. You don't realize now, but the way your hands linger onto his for the second time today has made your skin crawl, itch, and it will do so for the rest of the week. 

The back of your hand reads, in bright lilac, 'Beetles children playground, Saturday 5pm'

When you enter the indoor playground the smell of plastic surpasses almost any other. 

There's something nostalgic about it; how these walls accommodate child after child, how the maintenance of enormous swirly slides is executed by precautions for kids to not scratch their knees, to fall on soft plastic covered mattresses when they jump out of the gigantic machine operating head of a tiger that acts as a slide. 

Part of you misses that -the days where you've tried to convince your parents to take you to a place like this to play- but whatever's left of that part of you is smiling, awkwardly, lips pressed together as you spot Dynamight in the labeled 'parents resting place' cafeteria. Part of you misses not caring about how you look, your mannerisms, but still you hug your coat closer to your chest when Dynamight finally notices you, nodding his head. You bow from afar, eyes closed, lips pursed -only then you notice Red Riot sitting across from him on the small wooden table. 

The sight of him -despite being a tad intimidating due to his enormous size- eases your nerves. He looks over at you, waving his hand, his grin plastered across his face. You're used to seeing him like this, nice, welcoming, talkative and enthusiastic, so your steps to their table aren't counted. You're assured -somehow in your head because Dynamight snorts too, leisurely- that there's not even a single thing to be worried about. 

You study your clothes for any wrinkles a few feet away from the table, ready to curse yourself if there's anything sort of like a wrinkle in your long work skirt, but its loose wooly material has proven to be a savor once again. 

Tentatively you smile at the two men when you reach their table, bowing your head and opening your mouth to greet them when Red Riot steals the words out for your mouth. 

"Hey teach" He greets, hand still waving at you when you look at him, muttering a small "hello" in response. 

Bakugo clears his throat when he notices the way you and Kirishima look at each other, it's not any of his business if you want to stare at each other to the end of the world anyway, but it doesn't have to happen at the parents lounge in a playground. So he's rolling his eyes to the back of his head, gripping his coffee mug tight -too right for it to be normal- in his hand and speaks up "Thank you for meeting me here"

It's so blunt that Kirishima bursts out in laughter while your eyes shoot open, confusion written on your face. Dynamight grows red, piping hot as anger plumishes his face with every choke of laughter Red Riot takes. 

"Dude, don't make it sound like that" Kirishima laughs again, eyeing the chair in front of you "I think you scared her, look at her, come on teach, sit down"

"What the fuck. I didn't. Shut your face shitty hair"

"Please excuse him, his vocabulary is so colorful for a children's playground" Kirishima smiles at you when you look at them with a shook expression on your face. 

Dynamight's foul language isn't a secret, in fact most of your co workers were and still are intimidated to be in a position to ever reply to any of these tantrums, and if you're honest, you are too. You strive to be professional, to look bigger than you are, more significant. And Kirishima is allowing you to believe that somewhere behind Bakugo's- Dynamight's foul language there's some respect to you, to the roof of the place you're under. 

"It's okay" You shake your head and finally make a move towards your chair 

You don't really look at Dynamight a lot, but you definitely notice the multicolored plaster that sits across his nose, decorated with dinosaurs of all colors. There's one on the cut on his cheek as well. It's cute, kind of, the way they contrast his eyes and his hair. You dont think youve ever seen him dressed so casually, or in any context that would allow him to rock such bandaids on his face, so it's even more peculiar to see him pull out Kikos green water bottle from his backpack the second he sees him approaching.

“Having fun?” he asks his son and the little blond nods with a huff, out of breath “you're all sweaty, we should change your shirt”

The kid objects and looks at Kirishima for what you guess would be support but he does not utter a word before he downs half of his water bottle. “Daaaad”

“Nope, don't look at Kirishima, he's not going to get you out of this. And say hi to your teacher” 

Bakugo moves his head to the side and Kiko peeks with a tilted head at you, smiles and bows slightly before saying “hello miss, thank you for coming to my party” and you smile back at him and bow as well, while muttering a small happy birthday. 

There aren't any kids from the kindergarten, only a few other heroes can be spotted on the other tables of the cafeteria and you're guessing it's the ones that are parents already, maybe in their circle superheroes’ kids are all friends with each other. Your train of thought is quickly interrupted by Kiko munching on a piece of toast Bakugo had given him.

“Now you swallow your bite and i-” Bakugo says as he retrieves a clean long sleeved shirt from his backpack, but is cut short before he gets the chance to finish his sentence

“Okay bye daaaad” 

“Come back here! Kiko! Kiko!”

“Damn bro chill, it's just a sweaty shirt, he wants to play” Kirishima remarks with a giggle and you follow suit when Bakugo lets out a frustrated huff.

“Parenting isn't easy” you say, and sip on the juice that was served to you a while ago.

“You have kids, teach?” Kirishima asks, intrigued by Bakugos reaction to his question. You miss the way he kicks his blond friend under the table

“Oh no no, I just happen to be around so many parents at work and I've seen how challenging it can be. But I do hope to have kids someday." You reply, feeling a bit embarrassed for admitting your desires to have children to two of the top five heroes in Japan. It's not like you can always have everyday conversations with them and it's a tad uncanny that they feel so free spirited to talk about mundane things like a family with someone like you. 

But the way Kirishima nods understandingly, and the way Bakugo rolls his eyes before growling “careful what you're getting yourself into brat” - not in a mocking way at least - makes you feel more comfortable.

“Oh shut up bro, you have a golden child. Never whines, never throws tantrums! You literally have nothing to complaint about”

“Well, a child turns out this well mannered only because of the way they've been brought up” you suggest and you swear there's a mischievous grin that covers Bakugos face momentarily

"Damn right!! But, It's not easy, that's for sure," Bakugo finally speaks up after a moment of silence, "but it's worth it. Seeing Kiko grow up and learn new things every day, it's amazing. He's a good kid, I couldn't imagine my life without him now that I got him" His tone is softer than you're used to hearing from him, and it catches you off guard.

Kirishima, on the other hand, is still grinning from ear to ear, looking like he's enjoying every moment of the charade between you and the blond. "I think you'd make a great mom, teach. You're so patient and kind with the kids at school."

You feel your cheeks warm up at his words, and you take a drink of your juice, hoping to hide your blush. "Thank you, Kirishima. That means a lot coming from you."

Bakugo grumbles something unintelligible under his breath, but you can tell he's not unhappy with the conversation. There's a comfortable silence that falls over the table for a few moments, until Kirishima speaks up again.

"So, teach, we were wondering if you'd like to join us for a little celebration tonight. We were planning on going out to a bar and grabbing some drinks." He winks at you, and you feel your heart skip a beat as your eyes fall all over Bakugo’s whos clenching his jaw. “Bakugo always celebrates Kiko’s birthday like this. Man… he's too happy to have him.”

"I would love to join you guys," you say, smiling, but i can't, i have a uhm-, i-"

"that's fine" Bakugo growls, don't push it shitty hair" 

Kirishima smiles a wide grin that covers his face from one ear to another “oh come on! pleaseee”

You're taken aback by how childish Kirishima sounds, but being invited to something like this, with two pro heroes nonetheless feels kind of exciting. So you accept, shyly, there's not much you could do when you flicker your eyes over to Bakugo’s when they look at you like he's expecting you to say yes as well.

Kirishima's smile, despite being inviting at first, is dimmed slightly when Bakugo gruffs in response. Sure, he persists as his eyes plead with him -and you in time. “Come on, it'll be fun. I promise. Please join us teach”

Your gaze is so confused as you stare at him, hesitating to give a positive response. It's just so unbelievable that Dynamight and his best friend are trying to make plans with you.

Kirishima's wide grin falters for a moment at Bakugo's gruff response, but he quickly regained his enthusiasm, his eyes pleading with you.

"Please," Kirishima chimes in, his voice taking on an insufferable pleading tone.

You feel a pang of guilt at the disappointment in Kirishima's eyes—sure there are no prohibitions about spending time with parents outside of work, but you hesitate over actually saying yes to spending time with someone you’ve always admired as your hero.

Despite Bakugo's apparent disinterest, you find yourself unable to resist Kirishima's infectious energy. He's too sweet, always is. Maybe once won’t actually hurt. 

Just one drink.

With a hesitant smile, you turn to Bakugo, hoping to convince him to change his mind. "It would be fun," you say, your voice soft but earnest. "I'd really like to join you guys. I think"

Bakugo's gaze flickers to yours, a hint of annoyance flashing in his crimson eyes that’s shot at Kirishima, because he can see your hesitation, before he sighs heavily, as if conceding defeat. 

"Fine," he grumbles. "But only for a couple of drinks. We won’t be keeping you for long”

Kirishima lets out a whoop of excitement, his grin widening even further as he claps Bakugo on the back feverishly "Yes! This is gonna be awesome!"

~All rights reserved: @/strawberry-nugget, 2025. Please do not copy, over write or steal my work.

Likes, reblogs and comments are all appreciated equally

[sideblog-usernametaken]

Yeah copyright started as "The artist/writer/etc. owns [thing they made] in its entirety until they die, then it's in the public domain". Like, that's extremely reasonable. The intention is to help people keep their work from being stolen.

And I want to clarify the word "stolen" here because whenever it's used people automatically think it's about piracy. It's not. It's about someone else taking your work and selling it as if they made it themselves. That is the main purpose of copyright law.

The internet has made art theft incredibly easy because if you put your artwork online anyone can download it. There are many websites where half the products are copy and pasting some kind of artwork from a small artist without their permission. Without copyright laws, there is no way to fight this behavior. And if you are the kind of person who thinks artists do not deserve to own the art they make, you do not respect any creative. You do not respect writers, artists, musicians, filmmakers, etc. because you are saying that no matter how hard or how long they work on something they don't deserve to even ask for compensation. You want the benefit of being able to watch or read or listen to whatever you want without any consideration to the people who made it.

Is it bad that companies like Disney keep lobbying to get copyright terms extended so they can hold onto their IP longer? Yes. Does that make copyright inherently bad? No.

For the website that went wild over hbomberguy's plagiarism video I would like to think more people would understand why copyright exists and why it is actually needed.

"copyright is good in theory" did you know that you can digitize books and then have infinite copies so in theory every book, every piece of information ever written and published could be shared across the world basically for free but any attempts to actually do this get shut down by copyright lawyers?

[soaps-mohawk]

Cherry Red, Crimson Blood

Chapter 54: The Farm

Summary: You adjust to your life on the MacTavish farm and learn some surprising things about yourself.

Pairing: Poly 141 x reader

Word Count: 8,237 words

Warnings: Alpha/beta/omega dynamics, A/B/O, alternate universe, angst, emotions, fluff, animals, you might fall in love with a fictional dog, slight language.

A/N: I love this chapter and I hope you will too!

MASTERLIST | <- Previous | Next ->

You’re trying to fight the tears as they sting your eyes, desperately trying to stop them from falling as you walk back towards the house. Lily steps aside, letting you enter before closing the door behind you.

“Aw, hen.” She coos, rubbing your back. “It’s okay tae cry.”

You can’t stop them. They would have fallen without the permission, but being allowed to cry only makes them fall faster. Lily wraps her arms around you, pulling you tight against her chest. Her hand strokes your hair as she coos softly at you, rocking you back and forth gently.

“Saying goodbye is always hard.” She says softly. “I damn near cry a river when Johnny-boy leaves. It’s hard when ye don’t know how long it’ll be until ye see them again. I’m sure ye know that well.”

“Yeah.” You sniffle. You don’t know when you’ll see Johnny or Simon again. If you’ll see them again. You shove that thought aside into the deep recesses of your mind. You have enough to cry about, you’re not going to entertain those kinds of thoughts right now.

Lily kisses the top of your head before pulling back, wiping your tears with her shirt sleeve. “There we go.” You sniffle, trying to stop the flood sliding down your cheeks. There’s a wet spot on her shirt, but she doesn’t seem to even notice. She gives you a soft smile, holding your face in her hands. “Ye remind me of my youngest girl. So sweet and soft and polite. All beta. Quite the opposite of the rest of her siblings. She’s in medical school now training tae be an omega specialist.”

A small smile tugs at your lips. It makes you think of Dr. Keller and how she’s doing with her new job, how things are going with Ashley. Maybe you’ll ask John if he knows when you see him again.

“I’m sure she’ll be great at it.” You say. “Takes a lot of patience to work with omegas sometimes.”

You think about how much patience Dr. Keller had for you at the beginning, while she worked on helping you through your trauma and unlearning what the institute taught you. It had taken a long time, but you’re here today because of her and everything she did for you.

“I had an omega specialist on base for a while.” You say. “I owe a lot to her for getting me through those first few months.”

“I’m so glad ye had someone tae support ye.” Lily says, petting your hair. The tears have slowed to almost none. “I’m sure it was a great help.”

“I don’t know if I would have made it without her.” You say quietly.

“I think you could have. There’s a strength to ye. A quiet strength. I can see it.” Lily says, squeezing you against her chest one more time. “Ye’d have tae have it putting up with those boys.”

You giggle, hugging her back for a moment before she releases you.

“Come on,” She says, patting your head. “I have someone I want ye tae meet.”

You tilt your head as she moves into the house, heading for the back door. You follow, unsure who else you have to meet besides maybe the sheep.

“Here,” She says, pulling out a pair of boots. “These should work until we can get ye a proper pair of Wellies in town.”

“You don’t have to do that.” You say, toeing out of your tennis shoes.

“Course we do.” She says, slipping on her own boots. Storm stands at the door, ready to run out as soon as its open. “Ye need a pair anyway.”

You don’t argue, following her out the door.

The back yard is spacious, a garden set up in one corner, and a veranda in the other with a barbecue. You can imagine sitting out there in the summer, eating a hot dog and watching the sun set over the green hills. Storm races around the yard, tail wagging, all excited.

“Still young at heart.” Lily says as she walks down the path towards the gate. There’s a barn off to the right in the distance, a dirt road leading between the pastures.

You can see why she insisted on the boots now as the ground gets muddy beyond the gate.

“Murray is over the hill with the sheep.” She says, pointing off to the right where a hill rises. “Spends most of his day out there.” She opens a gate to the left, passing through before holding it open for you. “I like to spend my time in here.”

Your boots squelch as you walk through the muddy grass towards a smaller barn.

“Ye ever lived on a farm before?” Lily asks as you approach what looks like a chicken coop.

“No,” you answer. “We always lived close to the base my dad was stationed at. We moved around too much to have animals.”

“He was in the service?” She asks.

You nod. “Marines. It was his entire personality.”

She chuckles. “Usually is.” She pauses in front of the coop. “These are my girls. I let them out early and collect eggs.”

There’s ten chickens that you can count roving around the coop. It’s decent sized, bigger than you would have imagined.

“I leave them in there so the hawks don’t get ‘em.” She says. “Now, who I wanted ye to meet,” She continues towards the barn, the grass getting more and more solid as you go.

You walk up a small hill to the barn, something standing beside it. Something large and brown.

“This here is my coo, Mabel.” Lily says, walking right up to the cow.

You nearly die of cuteness on the spot. Mabel is a highland cow, all thick hair and horns and perhaps the cutest cow you’ve ever seen.

“Ye can get close. She’s very sweet.” Lily says, patting Mabel on the side.

You step up to her, holding out a hand. “Hello Mabel.” You say, Mabel nosing at your hand for a moment. You pet her nose, feeling the coarse, thick hair draped over her face.

“She’s due for a haircut.” Lily says, brushing some of the hair to the side so Mabel can see better. “And she’ll start sheddin’ soon.”

“I love her.” You say, scratching Mabel between the horns.

“Yer welcome tae come out here whenever you’d like.” Lily says. “Mabel comes and goes out of her barn as she pleases. She’s good for some cuddles when you need some love.” Lily grins at you. “She’s a great listener too.”

You smile, continuing to pet Mabel.

You might just like living on a farm after all.

You had stayed with Mabel even after Lily had gone into the house to start on dinner. It wasn’t even lunch yet, but still she insisted on starting early for a proper Sunday roast. Lily had been right about Mabel being a good listener. She hadn’t minded you hugging her, leaning your weight against her body, petting her hair as you told her all of your woes and fears. Storm had stayed in the field with you, running around before settling in the grass with a stick.

Storm followed you back to the house around lunchtime, when you’d left Mabel with a pat and a promise to come back tomorrow. She hadn’t given much of a response, but somehow deep down you knew she understood.

“Will ye wipe her feet with the towel, hen?” Lily called from the kitchen when you entered with Storm.

“Yeah,” You say, spotting the towel hanging near the door. Storm stands dutifully, letting you wipe most of the mud off of her feet. She licks your face before heading for the kitchen, abandoning you for the prospect of food. You don’t mind. Your stomach is growling too.

“How many sandwiches would ye like, hen?” Lily asks, bringing a platter of chips and vegetables to the table.

“Just one.” You answer. She gives you a sideways glance. “I could probably eat two though.”

She smiles. “Two it is then. I won’t have ye going hungry here.”

You don’t doubt she means that.

“Murray’ll be in, in a bit.” She says, setting a plate of two sandwiches in front of you before taking the seat across from you. “He can make his own.”

“I could make my own too.” You suggest quietly.

“Nonsense.” Lily says, waving away the idea. “Yer a guest. I’m more’n happy tae feed ye.”

“Thank you, for doing all of this.” You say, taking a bite of your sandwich.

“Of course,” She says, grabbing a carrot off the platter. “John said ye were havin’ trouble bein’ on base. I wasnae gonna let ye live somewhere ye weren’t comfortable. Besides, I’ve been excited tae meet ye, get tae know ye.”

“I’ve been wanting to meet their families too.” You say. “I’ve met Kyle’s sister but that was it before now.”

“Aye, those Garricks are something special.” She says.

“They really are.” You grin. “Like perfect angels.”

“Indeed.” She says.

Silence falls over the table as you eat, Storm sitting by your side on the floor, staring longingly at your food. You’re tempted to ‘accidentally’ drop a piece but you’re not sure if that’ll be allowed so instead you try and look away, ignoring those big puppy eyes staring into your soul.

Murray comes in right before you finish eating, toeing off his boots at the door. His pants are splattered with mud, as is his shirt as he pulls off his jacket.

“Yers are in the kitchen.” Lily says, finishing off her own sandwich.

“Thank ye, love.” He kisses Lily’s cheek before heading into the kitchen.

“I hear ye like tae read.” Lily says, turning back to you.

You nod. “Yeah, I do.”

“Well help yerself to any of the books on the shelves. The kids have some books in their rooms too. Yer more’n welcome tae browse those too.” She says, standing from the table. She takes your plate, heading to the kitchen as Murray comes out with his own plate of sandwiches.

“Did ye have a good mornin’?” He asks, taking his seat at the head of the table.

You nod. “I got to see the chickens and met Mabel.”

“Good.” He smiles. “Mabel’s a sweet old girl.”

“She is. I’ve never been around animals, outside of a few petting zoos.” You say. “But I already like Mabel a lot.”

“Aye, we’ll turn ye into a farm girl in no time.” Murray grins. “Ye can see the sheep when I bring ‘em in later too.”

“I’d like that.” You say.

After lunch you settle into the couch with a book pulled off one of the many shelves in the room. Storm has joined you, curling up beside you with her head in your lap.

“That dog really likes ye.” Lily says as she joins you, pulling out her knitting.

You smile, petting Storm’s head. “I’m not sure why.”

“Dogs are good judges of character.” She says. “She senses something in ye.”

You scratch behind Storm’s ears as silence falls over the room again and you return to reading your book. You wonder if it’s really true, if Storm can sense something about you that’s drawing her in. Whatever it is, you’re glad she likes you. It could be the opposite, you suppose. She could dislike you. You wonder what that would say about your character if that were the case.

Regardless, you’re growing to find her presence comforting. The entire house is comforting, despite the turmoil you still feel inside. The farm is a good distraction, but in these moments of silence you know you’re going to struggle the most. These moments where you have to be present, you have to face down the truth that you’re hundreds of miles from your pack and there’s still a couple weeks before you’ll see them again...before you’ll see John again. It’ll be just you and John for a while. Then Kyle will join you. Then you’ll be three separated from the two others.

It breaks your heart that they won’t retire, but you’d never admit that.

Maybe someday they’ll make that decision, but you know it won’t be anytime soon.

You shift on the couch, Storm lifting her head before settling back down, adjusting herself so she’s even closer to you than she was before, almost as if she can sense the shift in your emotions.

You scan the photos on the wall in the hallway. You’ve been roving around waiting for dinner to be ready, taking in all of the artwork and the many photos decorating the walls. Photos of Johnny and his siblings as kids, family portraits, artistic shots of the farm and the animals and the kids with them. You’ve even found a framed photo of Storm and Bron on the wall.

You pass by a shadow box decorated with military medals and stripes. You’d almost assume it was Johnny’s but you know he’ll still wear his when the occasion requires. No, these are Murray’s. Chief Petty Officer MacTavish.

“You served?” You ask as the man himself rounds the corner.

He pauses, glancing at the box before nodding. “Aye. Royal Navy. Joined as soon as I graduated. Didnae know what else tae do with myself. I was forced to retire when Johnny was still a lad. Hip injury.” He smiles as he stares at the medals. “Moved the family out here, bought a few sheep, rest is history.”

“You must be proud of Johnny then.” You say. You can piece together that his father’s history with the armed forces played a role in his own decision to join.

“Aye. Though his job scares the piss out of me sometimes.” He pats your back. “I hear your own father served.”

You nod as the two of you walk down the hall. “Marines.” You say. “I can’t imagine him doing anything else. He was...very patriotic. Spent a lot of time preaching the necessity of giving our lives to protect the country to us kids. Two of my three older brothers joined too. The rest of us went on to do other things. I never thought I’d be back in it, though.”

“That must have been a shock.” Lily says as the two of you arrive at the table. She’s setting a pan of roast beef on the table. “I can only imagine what it was like tae leave that world only to be right back in it.”

“I was in deeper than I was with my dad.” You say, taking your seat. “It was an adjustment, but I’ll honestly say I’m glad I’m getting to leave it behind.”

“I don’t blame ye one bit.” She says, taking a seat at the table. “The stress is unimaginable, even when they’re not goin’ off tae war.” She passes a glance at Murray. “I’m glad yer gettin’ this chance.”

“Aye, I’m proud of John fer retiring. It’s time he settled down.” Murray says, staring to load his plate.

Roast beef, mashed potatoes, vegetables, yorkshire pudding. A proper Sunday roast, or so you’re told.

“You know him well?” You ask curiously as you start to load your own plate.

“Aye, he’s been here a few times since Johnny joined his pack.” Murray says.

“We were skeptical at first, but he proved himself alright.” Lily says. “He’s a good alpha, and a good man.”

“But whatever magic ye worked tae get him to retire…” Murray grins. “Consider it an act of god.”

You smile bashfully, your face warming just a bit. “I’m not sure what I did exactly, besides just existing in his life.”

“Sometimes that’s all a man needs.” Lily says, giving you a smile.

The Sunday roast is delicious. It’s better than what you ate at restaurants in town during the weekends that John insisted everyone go out for Sunday dinner. It’s even better than your own attempts at the cottage, though you’d never tell Dr. Keller that.

You’ll have to get some recipes from Lily before you leave.

After dinner the three of you settle in the living room again, Murray turning on the TV. Storm lays at your feet, Bron laying between you and Murray. You’ve got a beer in your hand, cold where it rests against your leg. Murray hadn’t even asked, instead passing one to you silently. You’d taken it, knowing it would be rude to refuse. It’s not your first time drinking by far. You and your brothers used to sneak sips here and there during barbecues and holidays, and the guys have made sure to corrupt you in that way.

Still, the alcohol makes you feel warm as you drink it, chasing away the nerves that nightfall brings.

A lot of things can happen at night, and you can feel the looming darkness outside. It’s darker here than on base, no light pollution to offer some respite from the inky blackness outside.

You’ve been avoiding looking at the windows, even with the curtains closed.

Despite the nagging fear at the back of your brain, the beer makes you feel warm and fuzzy. That, and Storm’s comforting presence against your feet. It’s nice knowing there’s someone that will sense something off before even you can.

It’s late by the time you decide to call it a night. Storm follows you to your room, standing in the doorway as you pull clothes out of your bag.

“C’mon Stormy.” Lily says, patting her back. “Goodnight, hen.”

“Goodnight.” You call, watching Storm hesitate before heading down the hallway with Lily.

You get ready for bed before turning out the light, crawling under the covers. You can still smell a bit of Johnny on the pillow and blankets. You breathe in his spicy, citrusy scent. It blends with the earthy scent of John on your shirt, offering up a comforting cocktail of your boys. You wish they were there still in person, but you’ll take their scents.

You wonder how long it will be until they fade away. You doubt they’ll last the entire time you’re here.

You grab your phone from the nightstand, pulling up John’s number. He had texted you earlier letting you know they made it safe, but you need to hear his voice. You listen to it ring, holding your breath. It’s late, and you half expect him to be in bed already. He has an early morning tomorrow, unless he decides to skip working out...you doubt he’ll do that though, now that he doesn’t have you to worry about.

“Hello, sweetheart.” His voice is rough, tired sounding.

“Hi,” you greet him quietly quietly, letting out a breath. “Did I wake you?”

“No,” There’s rustling on the other side of the line. “I was laying awake.”

“Same.” you say, pulling the covers up around you.

“How are things going up there?” He asks.

“Good.” you answer honestly. “I met a cow today.”

“Did you?” he chuckles. “How did that go?”

“Good. I really like her. She’s a good listener.” you listen to his chuckle on the other end. “Storm has also really taken to me.”

“Good,” he says, and you can hear the smile in his voice. “Lily and Murray treating you alright?”

“Yeah,” you say, rolling onto your side. “They’re amazing. Lily’s a really good cook. Makes me feel sorry for you that you’re going to have to eat my cooking.”

“Your cooking isn’t that bad.” He says. “I survived on it at the cottage.”

“Yeah but that was only a couple times. I can make like three things confidently.”

“Then we’ll learn together. We’ll only have to survive until Kyle’s paperwork is approved. Then he can cook. It’ll be good for him, having something to do.”

What are you going to do? You want to ask it but you’re not sure how well that will go over. What is he going to do once he’s retired? Maybe you can convince him to start a farm. It would be good for him to have some physical work to do every day. He’s used to never having a day off, and you don’t get days off on a farm.

You’ll worry about that later, when the time actually comes.

“How are things down there?” You ask. “How are the boys.”

“Coping.” He says. “Johnny pouted the entire way home. It’s not the same being just us again. We got so used to your presence it feels empty.”

A small smile forms on your lips. “It feels weird not having you here with me. I’m not sure I can survive.”

“I think we can make it.” He says. “It’s only for a couple weeks at most. By the end you’ll be sad to leave.”

“I do like it here.” You muse. “It’s cozy and comfortable and I like having animals around. Wish you were here though.”

“Soon.” He says, muffling a yawn.

“You should get some sleep. Early morning tomorrow, right?”

He hums. “Earlier than I’d like.”

“Ready to retire?” You ask.

“I can feel it coming.” He says, and you can hear the smile in his voice. “You should get some rest too. I know you didn’t sleep well last night.”

You likely won’t sleep well tonight either, but you won’t tell him that. You don’t want him to worry more than he already is. “I never sleep well the first night in a new place.”

He hums again. “Goodnight, love.”

“Goodnight, John.” You say quietly, holding the phone to your ear until he ends the call.

You stare at the screen for a moment before setting your phone on the nightstand once more. You feel more comfortable now after hearing John’s voice. It’s soothed some of the nerves churning in your stomach. He’s just a phone call away, and soon he’ll be back within reach. Just a couple weeks at most. You should be able to survive that.

You hope you will.

You do manage to sleep.

There’s light coming through the curtains when you wake, and you can hear the faint clacking of dishes down the hall. You squint blearily at your phone. It’s past nine. You’ve slept in later than you meant to. They’re early risers, being on a farm and all. You realized that yesterday when you heard them moving around before dawn.

Here you’ve gone and slept in.

You get up, changing clothes before heading to the bathroom.

Lily’s in the kitchen when you get up, still a bit bleary from a rough night’s sleep.

“Morning, hen.” She says, turning from the dishes when she hears you patter in.

“Sorry, I slept in.” You say, rubbing your eyes.

“None of that now, yer a guest. Ye can sleep in as late as ye’d like.” She says, waving her hand. “I’ve saved some breakfast for ye. Let me heat it up.”

“You don’t have to do that.” You say.

“Of course I do. I want to.” She says, pushing you out of the kitchen. “Juice or coffee?”

“Juice is fine.” You say, taking a seat at the table. Storm comes over to you, pawing at your hand. You give her some pets, scratching behind her ear.

“Here ye are.” Lily says, bringing you a plate loaded with eggs and sausage and toast. She sets it down in front of you along with a glass of orange juice. It’s probably freshly squeezed.

“Thank you. It looks delicious.” You say, picking up your fork.

It tastes delicious too. You never knew a simple eggs and sausage and toast could taste so good. Lily must work magic in the kitchen. That can be the only explanation for how wonderful she can make even the simplest food taste.

You slip on your borrowed boots after you finish eating, following Lily out into the yard again. Storm trots along beside you, tongue hanging out in excitement.

“Ye ever driven an ATV before?” Lily asks you, and you notice one parked next to the gate just past the fence. You hadn’t noticed it yesterday.

You shake your head. “No.”

She pats your shoulder. “I’ll teach ye soon. I’m gonnae go grab some hay from the barn for Mabel. Ye go on ahead and start givin’ her a good brushin’.”

Lily opens the gate to the pasture where the barn sits before climbing on the ATV. You open the other gate to Mabel’s pasture, Storm running through as soon as its open. You leave it open, passing the chickens on your hike up the small hill to where Mabel stands, looking like she has no care in the world.

Her brush hangs in her small barn and you grab it off the wall. Her hair is thick and coarse, the brush catching on a few tangles. You’re careful not to pull too hard, working the knots out gently.

Lily arrives on the ATV, towing a small trailer behind it stacked with bales of hay.

“Come and help me unload this, hen.” She says, climbing off the ATV.

You shove the brush into your back pocket, treading through the grass to the stack of hay bales. Lily tosses you a pair of gloves, something you’re grateful for as soon as you put your hands on the hay. It pokes at you, a few pieces even sticking you through the gloves.

It’s also heavy.

Your arms shake as you lift one of the bales, just managing to get it up off the stack. You heft it the few feet to the barn, stacking it on top of the others. Lily lifts the next bale, making it seem almost easy.

“They’re heavy.” You say, letting out a breath as you return to grab the next one.

“Aye.” Lily says with a grin. “We’ve got tae get yer muscles built up. Turn ye into a proper farm girl in no time.”

You’re out of breath by the time the last bale has been stacked, a few small scratches on your arms where you’d pushed up the sleeves of your sweatshirt to avoid getting hay in the fabric. Somehow you’ve still managed, feeling the small pokes even through your jeans.

“Keep workin’ on Mabel, I’m gonnae take the trailer back.” Lily says.

Your arms feel like jelly as you grab the brush out of your pocket again, returning to brushing Mabel’s back. You knew you were out of shape compared to what you once were, but you think even if you weren’t that would have been a struggle. Farm work is hard and you’ve barely had a taste of it. It speaks volumes of just how strong Johnny’s parents are that they can do this every day.

Lily returns, walking up the hill to where you are. “We refill her ‘bout once a week.” She says, patting Mabel’s nose. “Can’t keep all of it here, or she’ll eat it all.”

You grin, Mabel’s head tilting as you brush a spot on the side of her neck. You’re getting covered in cow hair, but you can’t bring yourself to care.

“She’ll be sheddin’ her winter coat soon.” Lily says running her fingers through Mabel’s hair, picking out a few chunks. “Things get very hairy up here.”

You laugh, brushing under Mabel’s chin as she tilts her head up for you. “I can imagine.”

“I’m gonnae go find Murray, ye stay out here as long as ye like.” She says, patting your shoulder before heading back down to the ATV.

Storm stays in the pasture with you again, happily laying in the grass while you finish up brushing Mabel.

You lean against her side, resting your head on her back. “We’ll be okay, right?” You ask, not expecting an answer, and you don’t get one aside from a loud cluck from a chicken.

You head back into the house, Storm following you. You toe off your boots at the door, wiping down Storm’s feet before heading into the living room. You pick up the book you had been reading from the coffee table, settling on the couch. Storm jumps up beside you, sitting there staring expectantly.

You stare back, tilting your head. “What?”

She puts a paw on your leg, sniffing your cheek.

“Oh alright.” You put your book to the side before scratching her neck. She leans into you, licking your arm as you scratch her. “You’re so soft.” You say, hugging her against your chest as you scratch down her back. “Must have gotten a bath recently, huh?”

You kiss her head before releasing her, going back to your book. She curls up next to you, leaning against your leg. You drop a hand to rest against her back, feeling her comforting warmth against you.

The days go by and you settle into a bit of a routine on the farm. You start to wake up earlier and earlier, adjusting to hearing Lily and Murray up and moving around early in the morning. You’re still not sleeping well, but you are managing to get some sleep at night.

John’s called every day, wanting to know how you’re doing, how you’re settling in. It gets easier and easier to tell him you’re doing alright, as you start to believe it. But no matter how comfortable you get in Lily and Murray’s home, there’s still a deep ache in your chest, a yearning for your pack, for your alpha.

You thought it might be weird being around an unknown alpha, but Murray has been careful to keep himself from being overbearing and overwhelming. Sometimes you forget he’s an alpha, but his strong scent reminds you every time you smell it. He’s not like any alpha you’ve been around before, but then again, you think he has Lily to thank for that.

You don’t know many alphas that chose to take beta mates over omegas. It was so unheard of in your circle of friends and family friends growing up. Your father surrounded himself with like-minded alphas, traditionalists that prided themselves on scoring a prize omega who could give them pups.

You suppose John had taken a beta as his mate, but you know that dynamic is different, and it became even more complex once you were added into the picture. Maybe John would have wound up more like Murray had it just been him and Kyle in the long run.

A beta’s soothing presence is enough to calm and alpha’s instincts over time. It probably helps that he’s older, those instincts less strong now than they would have been likely just a few years ago. You know alphas calm over time, those instincts settling as they get older, as they settle down.

You wonder how long it will take John’s instincts to start settling now that he’s retiring out of a high-stress job.

You’ve taken to being on the farm and helping out more and more. Mabel has become your lifeline, your stand-in therapist. It’s a bit healing, laying against her side, telling her how much you miss your pack, how nervous you are about this new chapter in your life, how fast things seem to be moving. You’ve only been with your pack for just over a year now and already so many things have happened, so many things have changed. She may not be able to offer much in terms of conversation or advice, but it’s still comforting to have someone there who can listen and not judge.

You’ve even come to know the chickens a bit, gathering eggs a couple times when you’ve gotten up early enough to beat Lily to it. You’ve had your fingers pecked more than a few times, but you’re growing fearless around them, shoving the broody ones to the side to grab their eggs.

A week goes by before you know it, settling into the clock-like rotation of life on a farm. It’s comforting to have a schedule, to always have something to do. It reminds you of being on base, of conforming to the guys’ schedules. You prefer this kind of schedule and work, though.

Maybe you can talk John into a farm. It would be good for him, help him settle into civilian life where you don’t have someone telling you what to do...or where you’re not the someone telling others what to do.

You wake early on Sunday, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you lay in bed for a moment. It’s early, but still you hear Lily and Murray moving around. You feel like dragging your feet this morning, but you don’t, sliding out of bed before grabbing clothes.

“Morning Stormy.” You say, greeting the dog laying at your door. She’s taken up vigil in the mornings, laying there waiting for you to get up.

You pat her head before stepping over her, heading for the bathroom. Lily had done some washing for you, despite your insistence that you could do it yourself. She was keen to do as much for you as possible. She said she misses being able to mother someone. Murray won’t let her. He’s stubborn like that.

You head for the kitchen, Lily already up with breakfast at the table.

“Mornin’ hen.” She greets you, pouring coffee into a mug. Murray is at the table as well, sipping his own cup.

“Morning.” You say, taking your seat and the offered mug. “You’re up early.”

“It’s Sunday. We’re goin’ tae Mass today.” Lily explains.

You hadn’t really thought much about it, though you should have guessed given the candles and the crucifix on the wall that they were religious. The idea of Johnny being raised Catholic is hard for you to grasp.

“Did ye go to church growin’ up?” Murray asks you as Lily sets a plate of food in front of you.

“Not really.” You say. “Mostly just Christmas and Easter.” As patriotic as your father was, he didn’t pay much mind to religion. Sundays were for beer and football and a good dinner.

“We try tae go every Sunday.” Lily says. “Though we don’t always make it.”

Like last Sunday, you think. They had been busy with helping you get settled in.

“Gives us an excuse tae go into town.” Murray says.

“We’ll do some shoppin’ while we’re there.” Lily says. “Get ye anythin’ ye might need too.”

You’re not sure what you might need. You thought you had brought enough to last you the couple weeks, though something tells you Lily is going to find something you need. She had said something about getting you a proper pair of boots. You wonder what else she might decide you need.

Church went well, although you had no idea what a Catholic Mass was like, nor what you were supposed to do, but you followed along well enough. Shopping afterward had gone as you expected. You got your new pair of boots, strawberry printed, and Lily had decided you needed a couple new pairs of jeans. It was true yours were starting to show the wear and tear of farm life, and they weren’t proper work jeans, according to her. You weren’t sure what that meant, but she hadn’t listened to your protests, buying you the pants anyway.

It was a nice, warm day so Lily had taken you out to her garden to help her set up for the spring plants she’d grow. You pulled weeds, harvested some of the last winter vegetables, dug holes, played in the dirt. It felt good doing something with your hands. It gave you purpose, something you haven’t felt in a while.

Sure, being an omega you had your purpose, but lately it had been a bit...mundane. You had been forced into the box of ‘sit there and look pretty and offer us some comfort,’ even if they hadn’t realized they were doing it. You hadn’t even really noticed it until now, until you got some space from it. Now that you were actually doing things, now that you had a true purpose, helping out on the farm, you realized just how deep you had been shoved into that box.

Maybe coming here was a good thing after all.

That night you cry for the first time. You’re not sure why. Maybe the dirt under your fingernails had awoken something in you, some deep crevasse of your emotions opening under your feet.

It’s a silent cry in the darkness, the moon bright through the curtains, bathing your room with more light than even your nightlight. You’d just hung up the call from John and suddenly tears are falling down your cheeks. You miss him. You miss them all. You’re terrified for Simon and Johnny, you’re yearning for your alpha, for your comfort. You want the bed to dip behind you, for his arms to slide around you and hold you close. You want his scent to wrap around you and permeate your being.

You’re homesick.

The magic of the first week has worn off and now you’re feeling the complex emotions that have been brewing under the surface. There’s a deep ache in your chest, harsh and painful. You curl up tight in a ball, trying to ease the pain of missing home, of missing your alpha.

You drift off into a hazy sleep, floating in and out all night until you finally manage to slip into a deep sleep for a couple of hours early in the morning.

You wake later than you would have wanted to, and for a moment you forget where you are. There’s a warm weight against your back, and for a moment you think you’re back in the barracks, that John is sleeping behind you, pressed up against your back.

But as you wake up, you remember where you are: hundreds of miles away from the barracks and John.

The sun is up, shining its golden light through your window. You turn as best you can, the heavy weight pinning the blankets down over you.

You’re met with black and white fur. Storm has somehow snuck her way into your room and curled up on the bed with you. Tears prick your eyes as you turn to face her, running a hand down her back. She lets out a sigh, shifting her body onto her side so her head rests on your pillow.

“Hi Storm.” You whisper, burying your face in her fur.

She lays there, breathing steady and even as you try not to cry, as you fight the emotions welling up inside of you again. Storm licks your hand, dragging her soft tongue against your skin, almost like she’s trying to lick up your sadness.

“Okay, okay,” You sniffle, pulling your hand away. You lay there for a moment longer, both of you still in the quiet morning. Lily must be out gathering eggs or taking care of Mabel. You don’t feel bad for sleeping in this time.

Storm climbs down off the bed as you sit up, stretching your arms over your head. You grab a change of clothes before heading for the bathroom to get ready for the day.

Storm is waiting in the hallway for you and the two of you walk together towards the kitchen. Lily is sitting at the table, reading a magazine.

“Mornin’, hen.” She greets you before looking down at Storm. “Mornin’ ye sneak. Sorry if she disturbed ye. I tried to get her back out.”

You shake your head. “She didn’t disturb me. I didn’t even know she was there.”

Lily hums, patting Storm’s head. “Ye must have needed her, then.”

Tears start to prick behind your eyes, those emotions that you thought you had shoved down starting to come back to the surface. You know Lily won’t judge you for crying, for being homesick, but still that fear of showing too many emotions starts to overwhelm you.

“It’s alright, hen.” Lily says, on her feet before you even know it, pulling you into a hug. “Homesick, huh.”

It’s not a question.

“I understand.” She says softly, patting your head as you struggle to hold those emotions down. “I would be too.”

Her hands rub your back, her scent strong in the air as she tries to help comfort you. You both know it won’t be enough, but still the thought of it is sweet. She’s doing her best to try and make this easy for you, to try and help you through the inevitable breakdown of missing your pack and your alpha. From what John has said, it won’t be long before he’s finally free of the shackles of the military. A few more days at most before he’ll be making the final drive up here to retrieve you, and you’ll move on to whatever is waiting for you on the other side.

It makes you sad to leave too, though. You’ve grown comfortable on the farm, adjusting to life here and its routine and stability. It’s kept you more active than anything, and you’re going to miss having an excuse to do more than read and sleep all day. Of course, taking care of a house will involve a lot more, but you know there’s only so much you can do even in that regard.

You want to feel useful.

You don’t cry as much as you thought you might. Your thoughts have kept you stable, ideas forming, plans putting themselves together. You lean against Lily’s chest, arms wrapped around her. You’ll be forever grateful for everything she’s done for you, even if she doesn’t realize she’s done it.

You pull away, wiping the tears from your cheeks. “Thank you.” You say.

Lily gives you a soft smile, petting your hair. “Of course, hen. Ye know I’m always here if you need a hug.”

You laugh, sniffling. “You give good hugs.”

“I’ve been told that.” She pats the top of your head. “Now, let’s get some food in ye.”

Storm sleeps in your room from then on. You’re not sure Lily could change her mind even if she tried. She’s on the bed as soon as you open the door to Johnny’s room, making herself at home. You’re silently grateful for her comforting presence, often waking cuddling her up on your pillow.

You’ve become inseparable, unless Lily is in the kitchen, then she betrays you for the prospect of any handouts. You don’t blame her one bit. You’d be in there begging too if Lily didn’t involve you as much as she has started doing. You had asked for recipes, so Lily had taken that as her excuse to start mentoring you in the kitchen, teaching you everything she knows.

You’ve been kept busy, and you’re grateful for it.

Storm follows you around as you do your chores, self-appointed chores. You fetch more hay for Mabel as she’s running low, give her a good brush to help loosen some of her shedding fur, feed the chickens and gather the eggs, pick a few of the last winter vegetables that have ripened before helping Lily make lunch.

You even get to hold a baby lamb.

You fall in love almost instantly.

Another animal to add to your list of animals to convince John to get for you.

Your last day on the farm comes with an unexpected morning phone call. Usually John called at night, but this time catches you by surprise at the breakfast table. You got up to answer, Storm following you down the hall as you speak to John.

“Hello?”

“Hello, sweetheart.” John says. “I have good news.”

You already know what he’s going to say. “Oh?”

“My paperwork was finalized this morning. I’ll be coming up tomorrow to get you.”

Nerves and excitement boil in your stomach. You’re excited that it’s finally happened, that he’s finally free and you’ll get to see him in just a few hours. At the same time you’re nervous for what this means, for this start of the new chapter. There’s also a bittersweet edge to it, from the thought of leaving the farm after the wonderful almost two weeks you’ve spent here.

“That’s great!” You say, trying to sound convincing, channeling that inner excitement.

“I’ll call before I leave so you know when to expect me.” He says, sounding almost relieved.

“Sounds good.” You say, leaning down to pet Storm as she paws at you. “I can’t wait to see you again.”

“I know. It’s been long enough.” He says. “I have to get packing, but I’ll talk to you tonight, okay?”

You nod even though he can’t see you. “Okay.”

“Love you, sweetheart.”

“Love you too.”

You walk back to the table, your stomach in knots. Excitement and nerves still race through you. You’re not quite sure what to feel yet, all of it a bit too much at once.

“Everything alright?” Murray asks.

You nod. “John’s paperwork finally went through. He’ll be here tomorrow.”

Lily cheers. “That’s wonderful news! I’m sure yer goin’ tae be happy to see him.”

You nod again. “I am. I’ve missed him.”

“I bet.” She says reaching over to pat your hand.

“But I’m going to be sad to leave too.” You say. “I’ve really enjoyed being here.”

“And we’ve enjoyed havin’ ye.” Murray says.

“Ye can always visit, whenever ye want to.” Lily says, giving you a smile. “Yer always welcome here.”

“Thank you.” You say, trying to avoid looking down at Storm and her puppy eyes. You have a feeling she’ll be the hardest to say goodbye to.

You do your chores the next morning despite the fact John will arrive in a few hours. It just feels right to spend your last day on the farm doing as much as you can, savoring your last taste of farm life. You’ll miss Mabel, and you’ll even miss the chickens despite the few little cuts on your hands from sharp beaks. You’ll miss having stuff to do. Sure, you’re going to settle into your new life easier than John will, but at the same time, you’re going to withdraw from this routine you’ve grown to follow.

You spend the time after lunch cuddling with Storm on the couch. She seems sadder than usual, almost as if she knows this is going to be goodbye for now. Even Bron is at your feet, curled in a ball as you all wait for the sound of tires on the gravel driveway. Your bags are packed and by the door, including your Wellies, ready to be taken away from this surrogate home, from your surrogate family. Well, they are your family, you suppose. An extension of your pack member.

You’re not ready to get up as the sound of tires eventually does come, Murray rising from his seat to greet John at the door. You let out a sigh, patting Storm one more time before standing.

It feels almost surreal seeing John again after nearly two weeks away. He greets you with open arms and a smile, not even waiting for anything to be said. You’re in his arms almost as fast as he opened them, pressing yourself close against his chest. You’ve been without him for longer, but this time it felt different. You were hanging over the precipice of a drastic change. His arrival has been the first step in that change, the start of a new chapter in both of your lives.

“I trust you’ve been well taken care of.” He says as you pull away.

“Very well.” You say, smiling.

“And ye better keep that up.” Lily says threateningly.

“Don’t worry, I will.” He says, giving her a hug. “Thank you for doing this.”

“It’s no problem. We’re always happy to have some company.” She says.

“Ye can visit us any time ye like.” Murray says, shaking John’s hand.

John grabs your bags, the four of you heading outside with the dogs. You hug Lily, tears falling as you say your goodbye.

“Call me.” She says, patting your back. “For anything, even just tae chat. And don’t forget to visit.”

“Thank you.” You say, wiping your cheeks. “For everything.”

“Yer welcome, hen.” She says, brushing a hand over your head.

“Thank you, too.” You say to Murray, giving him a hug as well.

“Of course.” He says, patting your back. “It was our pleasure.”

You kneel down in the gravel, giving Storm a hug. She licks your cheek, letting out a quiet whine. “I’ll see you again soon, okay?”

She gives you one last lick before you stand, giving Bron some pats before you turn away, heading towards the car. Sadness but also joy fills you as you climb into the passenger seat, buckling your seat belt. You turn to look behind you, the car full of boxes, but in the seat behind John your big bear sits, buckled in.

You smile softly as John climbs into the driver’s seat, turning to look at you before he turns on the car.

“Ready?” He asks.

You nod. “Ready.”

He turns the key, the car rumbling to life beneath you. They wave as you drive down the driveway, and you watch the house until it disappears around the bend. You turn back in your seat, letting out a sigh as John turns onto the road towards Glasgow.

“Can we get a dog? And some chickens? And a cow? And some sheep?” you ask.

John chuckles. “Let’s find a place to live, first. Then we’ll talk about that.”

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[crimsonvictory]

Simon Riley who doesn't let his pretty dove lift a finger.

Noticed pretty early on how you always put yourself before others. Your feelings on the backburner until they could be let out later. Hell, you even did it with him. Smile not quite reachin' your eyes, but persevering nonetheless. It made his gut twinge, the crack of your resolve starting to splinter.

You never let anyone help, always piling another task on top of your already stacked plate. It kept you busy, kept your mind from wandering. Never an ounce of time to sit with yourself and your thoughts. It was your normal. That is, until Simon stepped in. He completely flipped your world upside down. Won't let you lift a finger.

"I can do things myself, Si," you huffed.

"I know Dove, but 'ya don't have to."

It had made you upset, feeling unaccomplished - lazy. If your body wasn't tense and hurting by the end of the day, you felt as if you didn't work hard enough. You were busy scrubbing the floors, on your hands and knees really working the soap into the grout when you heard Simon's low huff.

Tensing for a moment, you slowly continue to scrub when you feel him at your back, gently plucking the brush from your fingers.

"Go on, 'll finish,"

"But Simon-" you start.

"You're exhausted. Time for 'ya to start puttin' yourself first. Go on, ran 'ya a bath."

He gestures towards your shared bedroom before turning back to scrub the grout between the tiles. You slowly back up, wanting to fight back but his words hit deep. Turning on your heel, you walk into your bathroom. The lights are off, soft glow of the candles he has lit casting a small shadow on your skin. You look at yourself in the mirror. Confusion etches on your face. A deep tug in your chest as the emotion wobbles up. It makes your throat tight.

You truly look at yourself. Tired. Completely worn thin. Eyes glassy from exhaustion. When had he even ran the bath? You hadn't even heard the water running. On the counter, he has your pajamas stacked in a neat little pile, soft panties and socks on top. Your favorites. A small smile tugs at your face.

Undressing, you throw your clothes in the hamper, dipping your toes in the steamy water. A soft sigh escapes your lips as you step in. The hot water feels good on your aching body. You sink down into the suds, the smell of epsom salts clearing your airway.

You must've dozed, because when you open your eyes, Simon is there. He's running his fingers through your hair, eyes soft as he watches you. Your chest squeezes, pure and utter adoration on his features.

"Must've been tired," you half-joke.

"Mmm," he hums.

His hand slides down to cup your jaw, thumb brushing over your lips.

"Work too hard," he says.

Your brows furrow, mouth opening for rebuttal. He tsks softly, grabbing a cup from the side of the tub. Simon dips it under the water, shielding your eyes as he wets your hair. You didn't ask, but you don't have to. He lathers up your shampoo between his palms, slowly scrubbing your scalp.

It feels heavenly, eyes fluttering shut as you hum in contentment. His thick fingers work the shampoo into your hair, soap spilling down his fingers and onto his wrists. The smell permeates your nose, and you inhale, relishing the moment. Sometimes you think he's too good to be true. Someone as kind and patient as he is. You wonder if he ever gets tired of you. So you ask,

"'Ya ever get tired of dealing with me?"

"'That supposed to mean?" he grumbles, shielding your eyes again as he rinses the shampoo out.

"I'm a lot. I know I am," you mumble, eyes closing as the tears spring up.

"You're askin' if you're a burden?" he flat out asks.

You nod, the words unable to come out. Throat tight with emotion. He stops then, one hand on the back of your neck and the other still resting on your forehead. One slides down to grab your chin between his thumb and forefinger. He tilts your head to look at you.

"Look at me," he orders.

Your eyes flutter open, meeting his dark gaze. His pupils are blown, a thin ring of brown glinting in the candlelight. His brow is furrowed, not in frustration, but in thought. Mouth pulled slightly down in a frown.

"Lovin' you is the easiest thing in the world," he starts. "Not a burden. A goddamn treasure."

You laugh softly, the sound wobbly with tears.

"Mean it," he murmurs, giving your forehead a kiss. "Too hard on yourself."

He lets his thumb slide over your bottom lip, pulling down slightly to part them as he gives you a soft kiss.

"Gotta let me help out sometimes," he says, giving you another one. "Can't do it all on your own."

You nod slowly, the soft press of his lips on yours stirring a warm feeling in your belly. He pulls away, reaching over to put some conditioner in his palm. Gliding them through your hair and untangling the knots.

"I'm trying Si," you say.

"I know, Doll."

It's quiet for a moment as he lathers up your body wash, slowly washing your body. Slides down the slope of your breasts, to your soft tummy. Gently in between your thighs, rubbing the suds into your damp skin. Nothing sexual about it, just tenderness. It makes your lip quiver. The kindess.

"Too good for me," you whisper.

"Never."

Simon rinses you off then, letting the water drain and leaning back from the bath to grab your towel. Dries the water from your body and gets you dressed in your pajamas. He knows how to towel dry your hair before gently untangling it with comb. Things that he's picked up living with you. Things you never asked him to do, but he learned.

Never wanting to bother him. You let him now. Too tired, eyes fluttering closed as you yawn. Relaxed from the bath. He guides you to the bed, pillows fluffed, and blankets pulled back for you to slide in. You shimmy down into the bed, Simon tucks you in before coming in on the other side. You cherish the moment, feeling a bit guilty for not doing it more often.

Something about letting go kind of feels good. Control no longer making your fingers red from holding on so tightly. He's warm, sliding behind you and snaking a heavy arm around your waist. Simon pulls you close, breathing in your damp hair.

"Thank you," you murmur, eyes heavy with sleep.

"Welcome Dovie," he grumbles, squeezin' your hip and closing his eyes.

fluff fluff fluff

[liminalmemories21]

Give me some #40 from that prompt list, if you please!

Have some very early Buck/Tommy - from @cecilyv and I.

“You know, you can stay if you want to.”

Tommy sits up, skin glowing in the neon reflection of Buck’s alarm clock.  Buck watches him look around for his shirt, his pants, scattered like a breadcrumb trail from where they’d started. Tommy’s shirt, at least, is still downstairs -- vividly remembers stripping it off him and sliding his palms up his ribs, over his pecs. Buck shivers, from the memory --- Tommy’s skin pebbling under his fingers -- and from the cold of his bedroom, without the bulk of Tommy pressed up tight against him.  

They’d started downstairs.  Had put on a movie that Chim had told Tommy he’d never seen.  Still hasn’t seen it, because he’d been distracted by the heat of Tommy’s thigh against his.  Had casually - casually - stretched his arm along the back of the couch.  Caught Tommy’s amused smirk out of the corner of his eye, but Tommy hadn’t said anything, and he hadn’t pulled away, so he’d figured Tommy didn’t mind the obvious move.

An arm across the shoulder had turned into nuzzling, had turned into kissing, had turned into making out.  Tommy had pulled him into his lap, and it had been disorienting for a moment to be the one being pulled, instead of the one doing the pulling, to be the one perched in someone’s lap looking down.  But then Tommy had shoved hands up under his shirt, and Buck had felt a little drunk with how big they felt on his back.  And, he rolled his hips down on instinct, and felt the line of Tommy’s dick against his and then kind of just stopped thinking.

He remembers that Tommy had been sweet though.  Thoughtful.  Stopping.  Checking in.  Checking to make sure they weren’t going too far, too fast.

He hadn’t found words to tell Tommy how much none of it was too much, how much more he wanted.  Needed.  He’d tried to show Tommy instead.

Reaching for his shirt to pull it off.  Bending to lick at Tommy’s nipples, pinching them and worrying at them with his tongue when Tommy groaned, and said, “Shit,” in that way that meant yes, and more.

He’d reached for Tommy’s belt buckle, wanting to touch the hard dick he could feel pressing against his ass.  Wanting to taste it.  The more of Tommy he saw the more he wanted to touch, and taste, wanted to memorize the dip of his waist, the feel of hard muscle under his palms where he’s used to soft give.

He was the one who’d stood up, tugged Tommy upstairs, tackled him into the bed.  Finally gotten to feel all that skin against his own, pressing him down into the bed.  He’d loved it.  Even more than he’d thought he would.  The feeling of being under someone as big or bigger than he is.  Someone with hands big enough to wrap around both their cocks.

He’d thought it was good.  But now, sweat barely dried on his skin, Tommy’s sitting up, looking for his shirt.  He’d thought Tommy would spend the night.  He could make Tommy breakfast in the morning.  Find out how he actually takes his coffee.

But, maybe the rules are different for guys.  Maybe this is one of those things that he’s going to have to learn.

Except.  He wants Tommy to stay.  

Sits up.  Clears his throat.  “You know, you can stay if you want to?”  Makes it a question.  Tries not to sound as needy as he feels.

Tommy stills, turns to look at him.  “Yeah?”

He nods.  “If you want?  I don’t know if you have a shift, or something –” trails off when Tommy smiles.

Tommy shakes his head, already sliding back down in the bed, curling against Buck, hand sliding over his stomach. “No. No shift.”

He smiles, pleased.  Turning his back to Tommy and tucking himself back against him, letting himself be the little spoon for the first time, not surprised by how much he loves it.  Loves everything about being with Tommy, if he’s being honest.  Pulls Tommy’s arm over his waist, and slots their hands together – keep Tommy from having any second thoughts about leaving.  “I’ll make you breakfast in the morning.”

Thinks he hears Tommy say, “Or I could make you breakfast.”  Except he’s almost already on the verge of sleep, sated, and with the comfort of a big strong man behind him, the promise of seeing Tommy again in the morning.

Can’t believe it took him this long to realize he wanted this.

[miaoua3]

bitches had a lot to say about scoups’ cute little tummy in the thunder mcountdown performance and it pissed me off, especially because i know for a fact that it affected him a lot since he immediately announced that he was starting a diet. i love his tummy so much and it breaks my heart seeing that he feels insecure about it. so, here is a bit of an appreciation for coups and his little tummy❤️

(pairing: bf! scoups x f!reader)

tw! negative views on body!

the moment he stepped foot inside your shared apartment, you could see that something was wrong with your cheollie.

he had this troubled frown glued to his face, lips set in a sad pout as he quietly took off his shoes and jacket.

when you tried greeting him somewhat enthusiastically, he weirdly turned you down, instead of kissing your lips like he always does, his lips landed on your cheek, before he quietly excuses himself to take a shower.

which is even weirder, because cheol always eats first before he takes a shower. he always says that he feels bad that he keeps you waiting so much, preventing you from eating the dinner because you don’t like eating alone.

so, for him to turn down dinner, to barely say anything to you, to immediately cut himself out of the world by going to the bathroom?

you knew that something bad has happened.

carefully listening against the door, you waited until you heard the water turn off, giving him another minute to dry off and put something on.

you two had so much trust in each other that cheol didn’t even blink when the doors opened, your head peaking inside.

the scene in front of you broke your heart.

cheol, in his beautiful and buff form, was silently standing in front of a mirror, eyes filled with annoyance and…hatred clearly focused on one thing.

his belly.

unsure hands hovered above the said tummy kind or like he was so disgusted with himself that he couldn’t even bring himself to touch you.

you eyebrows immediately furrowed in pain, almost like it was his own pain that you were feeling inside your body.

quietly walking in and shutting the door, you walked over to him, his broad body covering your whole body, making you unable to see yourself in the reflection.

you loved that so much-that he was so soft, big, buff and strong. his body, just like his soul, was hardness covered with a layer of softness. you loved hugging him because it always felt like you had your own personal teddy bear to cuddle with.

although you may not be able to read minds, you can tell what cheol is thinking about.

and just like you predicted, he quietly says with a voice full of disgust “don’t look at me please. i look…so disgusting.”

deciding to ignore his words, your arms wrap themselves around his waist, head securely resting on his back between his shoulder blades. you inhale his fresh scent as you close your eyes.

ever so slowly, you touch his tummy with flat hands, softly rubbing it up and down in comfort.

with a serious voice you question him.

“do you know why i love you so much?”

cheol stays quiet.

you decide to continue.

“you have the softest soul ever. although you always try to stay strong for other’s, you never hid the fact how gentle your soul is. from the very beginning, you let me see your bad, fearful and broken pieces. i knew from there on, that your heart is made of glass-it’s enough to use only small amount of force for it to break.”

you feel cheol swallow under your cheek.

“so, i know how easy other people’s opinions affect you. i know that if it’s something you already dislike about yourself, and they say something bad about that part of you, that you will immediately start hating yourself.”

you pause for a second to swallow before you continue.

“what i don’t get is how anyone-you included-could hate any part of you when you are the most beautiful man ever? you…you are so kind, protective of the people you love. you always face everything with fierceness, even when you yourself are scared of it. not only are you beautiful from the inside, but you, exactly as you are right now, are just as beautiful from the outside.”

cheol feels a something heavy stop in his throat, his eyes that are looking back at him in the mirror now filled with unshed tears.

“your body is so beautiful, baby. it’s strong…firm in a way that it makes you feel…reliable. almost as if i am protected simply because you are so strong. but it’s also wrapped with a layer of…softness. which isn’t a bad thing. it just makes cuddling and kissing it that much more enjoyable. this little tummy? that’s my favourite part of you. wanna know why?”

you see cheol nod his head as he uses one of his hands to wipe away the tears, deeply sniffling as he does so.

you use your hold on his tummy to slowly turn him around, his red eyes looking at you brokenly.

pushing away his hands, you wipe away his tears, smiling gently as you end your words.

“because that tummy exists because of me. because you let me take care of you. because i make sure to feed you well. that tummy that you were just thinking of getting rid of? that’s my love coming to the surface.”

cheol closes his eyes, shoulders shaking as he cries quietly.

even quieter than you have been talking just now, you gently yet firmly ask him.

“do you want to get rid of my love then?”

shaking his head ‘no’, he finally-finally-lets a son out, strong arms wrapping around your body as he lets his head hide in your neck, wetness smearing against your skin as his tears keep on falling.

as you rub his back in comfort, you promise to yourself one thing.

i will never allow him to feel or think about himself like this ever again. not when he’s the most perfect person to have ever existed.

[daceydeath]

Headcannon - Types of Love with SKZ

Word Count: .9K Genre: Fluff Warnings: None The type of love each member would give you if you were their partner.

Chan

It is a shelter from the storm kind of love. It's warm, deeply attentive, and almost healing in how much it sees you.

Chan is a nurturing, endlessly giving kind of love — the love of someone who’s always checking in, even when he’s breaking a little inside himself. It’s a love that carries a quiet weight, like someone who holds everyone else’s burdens without ever asking for anything in return. With his leader’s heart and soft, vulnerable edges, Chan feels like the kind of love that stays up just to make sure you’re okay, even if he’s exhausted.

Chan's love is a love that glows in the cold, that warms others even as it burns quietly, almost unnoticed. It’s dependable, full of depth, and incredibly comforting. It’s the kind of love that makes you feel like no matter how broken the world gets, you’re not alone.

Lee Know

A slow-burning, layered kind of love. The kind that doesn’t reveal itself all at once, but when it does, it wrecks you in the best way.

His love is cool on the outside, warm at the core, and fiercely loyal once you’ve earned your place. It’s not about constant affection or big gestures; it’s in the subtle glances, the way he remembers the tiniest details, or how he silently does things for you just because he wants to, not for praise.

Lee Know's love is cool, still, and a little aloof on the surface, but if you stay close long enough, you realize it’s the warmest place in the world

Changbin

He radiates a kind of love that feels like fire and gravity. Intense, passionate, and absolutely magnetic. He is someone who loves hard and without holding back, the type who puts his whole heart into everything and everyone he cares about.

He gives a bold, expressive kind of love the kind that hypes you up, protects you fiercely, and constantly reminds you how valuable you are. He would be loud in his affection but also incredibly soft when it matters most. That duality — strength and softness — makes his love feel like both a rush and a refuge.

Changbin's love is not always neat, but it’s real, full of color and heart, and it makes you feel alive.

Hyunjin

A love that is poetic, overwhelming, and achingly beautiful. A love that feels like it belongs in art, not reality, and yet somehow exists right in front of you. He gives a romantic, emotionally charged kind of love, full of deep stares, late-night confessions, and touches that feel like they carry meaning beyond words. It’s dramatic, but not performative, more like he feels everything at 100%, and when he loves, he loves like it’s the last time he ever will.

Hyunjin's love is soft yet vivid, emotional yet graceful, fleeting in form but unforgettable in feeling. It seeps into every corner of you like color on a wet canvas it is so delicate, yet impossible to ignore.

Jisung

It feels like a spark in your chest and laughter in your bones It's chaotic, comforting, and unexpectedly profound. The kind of love that sneaks up on you in the form of a joke, then stays with you in the quiet moments after the laughter fades.

He gives off best-friend-to-lover vibe the type that feels effortless, where one minute you're teasing each other, and the next you're staring at him wondering how you ever lived without this kind of connection. His love is high-energy, deeply affectionate, and secretly soul-deep, even if he masks it with humor or distraction.

Han's love is thrilling, unpredictable, sometimes messy, but always magnetic. It’s the kind of love that teaches you how to live fully and feel deeply, with joy that rings louder than fear.

Felix

His love feels like sunlight on your skin after a long, cold day just perfectly warm, healing, and deeply reassuring. His love isn’t loud or overwhelming, but it fills every empty space in the gentlest way possible. He gives a pure, nurturing kind of love that makes you feel safe to be exactly who you are, flaws and all. It’s that rare kind of love that feels like home, not because it’s perfect, but because it’s unwavering, tender, and full of light. His presence alone radiates comfort, as if just being next to him could quiet every storm inside you.

Felix's love is golden, glowing, effortlessly beautiful, and quietly life-changing. It’s the type of love that doesn’t just feel good it makes you feel good about yourself.

Seungmin

It's a love that feels like a steady heartbeat in a chaotic world it's calm, grounded, and deeply intentional. His love isn’t over-the-top or dramatic more the kind that builds slowly, quietly, and then stays without question.

A realistic, mature kind of love. One that’s honest, a little teasing, but deeply loyal underneath. It’s the kind of love that won’t sugarcoat things, but will always tell you the truth because he respects you too much to lie.

Seungmin gives off that “I won’t say it all the time, but I’ll prove it every day” energy. He gives you a crisp, honest, and quietly beautiful love that teaches you how to grow, how to stay grounded, and how to feel safe even in change.

IN

It's a love that feels like the first time you realize someone sees all of you and still loves you anyway. It’s innocent, ever-curious, and quietly transformative. His love makes you believe in new beginnings, no matter how many endings you’ve faced. He gives off blooming love that is sweet, a little shy at first, but full of wonder and sincerity. It’s the type of love that grows with you, laughs with you, and makes even the smallest moments feel special.

With Jeongin, love feels like someone discovering you piece by piece, and cherishing every bit like a treasure, it's refreshing, gentle, a little unpredictable, and full of quiet magic. It’s the kind of love that helps you grow.

a/n: Thank you for reading my lovelies your comments, reblogs and likes are always appreciated and I adore you all xx

Taglist (open): @christopher-bangnaldoskzz @armystay89 @damnyouficc @roamingpolar

@tara-skyhold @bakedlilgoonie @krishastumblernow @mrsseals16 @fawnpeaks

@leeknowinggg @tanzen-ist-gold @uno7 @ocean-dreamer-sky-chaser @skersey33

[darlingdaisyfarm]

I need Stan and Ford's reactions to being cat-called by the reader. Who whistles and flirts back, who gets shy and drops whatever he's holding? Who can't stop blushing like a fool and who starts strutting more because a hottie couldn't contain themselves? We gotta fluster these senior citizens!!!!

yahoo i love this !! yeah let's make these old men shyy

Stanley!!

he needs it, i tell ya. . . there’s no delicate way to put it. Stanley, bless his grumbling, gold-toothed heart, is starved for that kind of affection. of course he’ll roll his eyes and toss back a “real mature, sweetheart” when you whistle from across the mystery shack parking lot as he bends down to haul smth heavy, he’ll absolutely act like you’re being inappropriate, but did you see that little smirk he tries to bite down??? yep

and i think it’s doubled in intensity when it’s you, his closest person, the one he lets fold into his arms after hours. early in the relationship, yeah, he might bark out a sarcastic “hey! hands off the merchandise!” if you swat his ass, heheh. he’ll turn red all the way down his neck, curse under his breath, maybe try to walk away, grumbling what a little pervert you are. but later on, he slaps you back, maybe even an exaggerated “you missed, try again, sweetheart.” he’s thrilled to be wanted by you, desired. that kind of attention makes him shine. you want him? oh, he’ll give you a show. struts more. flexes more. suddenly that tank top that was “just comfortable” is riding a bit higher than usual. he’ll even ask you if you noticed he shaved that morning, and if you didn’t, well, he’ll drag your hand across his jawline and make damn sure you do.

so yes, this man eats it up. eats it up like a free buffet on a lonely thursday. try to whistle at him from across the porch, call him “handsome”, he’s immediately puffing up like an old tomcat in the sun, grinning so hard it damn near splits his face open. hand goes to his belt buckle, like yeah baby take a good look, chin tipping up a little, flashing you his teeth. im sure he’d say some shit like, “don’t start what ya can’t finish, toots.” except he wants you to start it. Stan wants your eyes crawling all over him like ants on honey. and then he’d throw the flirt back at you tenfold

oh but Ford. darling Ford. im sure flustering this man is too easy, and yet the results are so devastatingly rewarding it feels illegal.

so. . . he’s used to being praised for intellect, research. for what his mind can do. im sure lots of people have called him a genius, smart guy, pioneer, marvel. but his sweetheart, you're the only one who dares to whistle when he walks in wearing a slightly newer shade of his sweater. you lean against the shack’s front desk and coo, “oh wow, Ford. . . that color looks good on you. brings out your eyes.” and he’s gone. freezes. literally.

he drops what he’s holding, a mug, a stack of journals, some weird thing from his lab. the sound is loud and so is the color blooming across his cheeks. he stammers smth, possibly denies it even happened, before adjusting his collar and looking anywhere but at you <3

or he does that tight awkward laugh. might even scold you gently, all “really now, that’s hardly appropriate behavior”

but the thing is, HE LOVES IT. he may not know how to receive it, might fumble his words or hide behind a chalkboard, but inside he’s absolutely losing it. FANGIRLING. burning up. scrawling equations in the margins of his notebook that are just your name and a hundred question marks ehehhe

and if you keep calling him pet names, “handsome, genius, baby, sweetheart,” especially in casual, teasing tones while you’re working side by side, oh it makes him aware of his body in a way he never was before. and suddenly, he’s thinking about whether his clothes fit right. whether you noticed the new belt or boots. whether you like how he smells (stinks)

eventually, you’ll catch him fishing for compliments, but it'll be so damn awkward because guys c'mon it's STANFORD PINES. he'll be standing at doorways a little longer, making sure you see him, brushing his hair back before he enters a room. waiting all excited and nervous, silently begging. and if you whistle again, he might groan and say “oh, please,” but his fingers curl and his jaw flexes and you know he’s actually soaked in that affection

so yeah he tries to act unfazed, keeping his notes in order. but an hour later he’s bringing you tea with shaking hands and saying “so. . . you think my hair’s nice like this?” like you didn’t just fry his nervous system an hour ago with one whistle and a wink

[apppletea]

02. Kid of theater and music

prev — next.

Your eyes slowly open, you are back in the same void, there was no one and nothing in that place, how many times will you have to dream that?

This time you only felt your fingers move slightly, the feeling of immobility was going away little by little but very slowly, how much longer are you going to endure this? Aren't dreams supposed to be about forgetting the bad things in the world? So why?

You could barely stay awake, the dreams you started having would take away your sleep immediately and it was hard to get back to sleep. Even more so with the noises you heard at dawn, as if they were all nocturnal, and that was what you hated the most.

The teacher's voice was more boring, your eyes felt heavier and your body felt weak but fate was on your side and the bell rang, the last word you had heard was about teamwork, another thing you hated. Each of your classmates were leaving the room while you stretched, hoping that sleep would go away for a moment, but unfortunately, it seems that today everyone hates you, even your own body.

You knew your day was going to be the same when you saw the grumpy dwarf, damn everyone in that family!

You looked around, searching for your class team and another class genius, Samantha. You never spoke without it being something about school, only doubts, questions and mostly team work or exams. Everyone in that class was either very distracted or didn't care about academics.

You saw her with her group of friends and you bit your lip. She had her group, you didn't. You weren't that sociable and you didn't know how to balance your time between friends and school.

But that was stupid, friendships were stupid and you hated it.

You sighed and checked your watch on your wrist, it was time to go, finally. You packed your things and left the classroom, your backpack and your suitcase with your work, sometimes it was tiring to carry that, you felt like you couldn't hold on much longer, you were weak.

Your footsteps didn't echo this time, there was plenty of noise to hear yourself and that was good, you didn't want to hear your thoughts, it was hateful to remind yourself how terrible you were.

You felt your mind suddenly dissociate, everything felt slower, you should have paid attention but you really didn't.

The evening chill hit you hard and you were able to breathe properly for the first time all day. This was a huge relief and you loved it. You stood near the door, waiting for Alfred to pick you up but he didn't, the sky was already turning darker and you had no choice but to walk home, your suitcase was very heavy and your feet were sore, when you arrived you wanted to seriously ask him why he didn't come looking for you. You opened the door and put aside your backpack, your briefcase, walked to the living room door and listened, did he really say it? How, how is that possible.

Your heart began to beat fiercely, you retracted your steps and left the mansion, running and fleeing from something you didn't want to face.

That's the way they thought? You couldn't do anything to change it, so perhaps the best way was to just escape far away, claim the fortune that Bruce kept you away from and run away with that big money.

But you couldn't, you can't and surely you never can, so the best option was to take refuge somewhere, somewhere where you know how to be yourself. So your eyes were fixed on the posters outside the cinema, that same night there would be some kind of performance about a play, you didn't know the synopsis, you didn't know anything about it but that poster was enough to convince you and buy a ticket.

The huge room was full of people, high-class people, the odd elderly and families, what pure envy, at least they had someone who could accompany them.

You quickly chose a seat and looked around minutes before the show started, you didn't know the time and you hadn't turned on your phone either, you were oblivious to the calls and messages from Alfred and Dick, anyway, it was none of your business anymore!

The lights went out and the curtain began to open, there was an impressive silence and you could feel your heart beating with emotion, soon your mind focused on the songs, the voices and how fluid the performances were, it was magnificent.

The hours passed and the end of the musical approached, the audience stood up and applauded, you quickly imitated them but yours was genuine, you didn't know what kind of expression you had but did that matter? It was all amazing, and for once in your life you really knew what you wanted, what you longed for after years of being a decoration doll.

Being on stage, being applauded by an audience, and feeling the excitement of performing in front of everyone was like an art, a beautiful art.

That night was perfect, the best of all and you hoped for more like that.

taglist @ollyissleepy @darling-dearesttt @vanessa-boo @esposadomd @2juggie4life

[slytherin-pen]

Hey I saw that your bingo request board is open! Can I request a Azriel x reader hurt/comfort cenario? Reader is severely injured from a mission gone wrong and is having a hard time recovering physically/mentally from it. I just know Az would be so kind with a significant other 😭💘 Thank you!

One Step At A Time

pairing: Azriel x Reader

word count: 1.8k

tags: fem!reader, no use of y/n, depictions of depression, injury, loss of limb, Azriel helping you get through it

You were awake, but you felt like you were still dreaming. Or maybe it was a nightmare. Your mind was still trying to process the reality of it all. That just a few weeks ago, you had been happy. Living the life of your dreams with your perfect mate by your side. You should’ve known nothing good lasts forever.

You hadn’t left the bed in weeks. The bed that still smelt like Azriel, night chilled mist and cedar, though it had faded slightly in the hours he’d been gone. But even his comforting scent couldn’t pierce the fog that had settled over you. The prosthetic leg High Lord Thesan sent was propped against the nightstand, gleaming in the sunlight that spilled through the gaps of the curtained windows. It was practically taunting you. You hadn’t touched it, couldn’t even stand to look at it. It was a reminder of everything you’d lost.

One mission gone wrong and your life was changed forever. You replayed it every night in your dreams. All the blood and your screams, Azriel’s roar when he found you laying on the ground after you frantically pulled on the bond over and over again. You didn’t remember much after that. You had allowed yourself to finally slip into unconsciousness once you knew you were safe in your mate’s arms.

They said you were healed—physically, at least. The healers did their work, and the wound was gone, smooth skin covering the place where your leg used to be from the knee down. But you weren’t healed. Not really. You were still haunted by what you lost and your body doesn’t feel like your own anymore.

Azriel’s been patient. He never pushed you, never demanded more of you. He holds you when the nightmares cause you to wake up screaming . He brings you food and tries to encourage you to eat. Sometimes he gets you to eat a few bites, but he never makes you feel bad when you don’t.

The bedroom door creaked open as Azriel stepped inside, his wings folded tight to his back, his shoulders tense. He set a stack of reports on the desk, his face shadowed in the dim light.

“Hi, love,” he murmured, his voice soft and gentle.

You didn’t answer. You haven’t answered in days. The words were there, but lost somewhere in the jumbled mess of your mind. It was like your voice was just another thing you lost.

He sighed, his hazel eyes dark with worry as he sat down beside you on the bed. He brushed a strand of hair from your cheek. “You’ve been in bed too long, sweetheart,” he said softly. “Your muscles will weaken if you don’t move.”

You stared at the wall, your hands fisting in the blanket. The prosthetic leg glinted in the corner of your vision, mocking you with its presence.

“Why don’t we try going for a walk?” Azriel suggested gently. “Just around the house. We don’t have to go far.”

A walk. Like it was so simple. Like you could just stand up and pretend everything was normal. Rage flickered hot in your chest, the first thing you’ve felt in days. Your fingers tightened in the blanket until your knuckles ached.

“I can help you put it on,” he continued softly, reaching for the prosthetic.

“No!” The word ripped from your throat, your first in days. It was hoarse and quieter than you intended, but your anger was unmistakable. Before he could react, you snatched the leg off the floor and hurled it across the room. It clattered against the wall and fell with a dull thud.

“I don’t want this stupid leg!” you screamed, tears blurring your vision. “I want my leg. My real leg!”

Azriel didn’t even flinch. He just watched you, his shadows curling protectively around him, around you. You could feel the sharp spike of his grief, his helplessness through the bond. But under it all was his fierce, unwavering love.

“I know, love,” he said quietly, his voice cracking. “If I could go back in time and change all of this for you, make sure you didn’t go on that mission… I would. In a heartbeat. But I can’t. We can’t go back. This is our reality now.”

He lifted his hand to your cheek, his thumb brushing away a tear. “I know it’s hard. I know it fucking sucks. But you can’t just give up. I refuse to let my mate, the love of my life, give up.”

Your shoulders shook as sobs broke free, the dam finally shattering. “I can’t,” you choked out, your voice breaking. “I’m not… I’m not me anymore. I don’t even recognize myself.”

Azriel’s eyes filled with tears, his shadows brushing over your skin in an effort to soothe. “You are still the beautiful, brilliant, strong female I fell in love with,” he said fiercely. “The only one who doesn’t believe that is you.”

He pulled you into his arms then, holding you tight against his chest. You buried your face in his neck, your sobs shaking both of you. His own tears wet your hair as he whispered over and over, “I’ve got you, love. I’ve got you.”

You stayed there for a long time, the two of you clinging to each other like lifelines. His scent grounded you, his warmth seeping into the frozen parts of your soul. The bond between you thrummed with his devotion, his unshakable belief in you.

When your sobs finally eased, you felt his fingers brush your hair back. He pulled back just enough to cup your face in his hands, his thumbs stroking your cheeks. “Let me help you,” he whispered. “Let me show you how strong you still are.”

You shook your head, but he hushed you. “I’m not asking you to be okay overnight,” he said. “I’m not asking you to pretend this didn’t happen. But I’m asking you to try. Just one step, love. For me.”

His shadows slithered across the floor, retrieving the prosthetic from where it landed. They curled around it, gentle and careful, as if even the leg deserved compassion. Azriel took it from them, turning back to you with a small, encouraging smile.

“Can I put it on for you?” he asked softly.

Your throat felt tight, your heart hammering in your chest. But you nodded, your eyes flicking to the leg. It’s… beautiful, you realize. Sleek and silver, engraved with delicate patterns of swirls and stars. High Lord Thesan had said it was made just for you. A gift from one court to another.

Azriel shifted to sit on the edge of the bed, his fingers deft as he adjusted the straps and buckles. His touch was reverent, careful, as if he was handling something precious. He looked up at you, his eyes searching yours.

“Is this okay?” he asked.

You nodded again, biting your lip. He slid the prosthetic onto your thigh, adjusting the mechanisms until it fit snugly against your skin. Every brush of his hands sent shivers down your spine. “Does it hurt?” he murmured.

“No,” you whispered, though your voice trembled. “It’s… it’s okay.”

He smiled, relief flickering in his eyes. “Good.” He ran his hands over the straps once more, checking and double-checking. Then he reached for your hands, his fingers warm and strong around yours.

“Are you ready to try standing?” he asked

You swallowed hard, your heart thudding so loudly you were sure he could hear it. “I… I don’t know,” you admitted.

“That’s all right,” he said gently. “I’ll be right here. I won’t let you fall.”

You took a deep breath, clutching his hands. He shifted, his wings flaring slightly for balance as he slowly pulled you upright. Your other leg wobbled, the prosthetic foreign and strange beneath you. You felt like you were going to tip over, but Azriel’s hands tightened around yours.

“You’re doing it, love,” he said, his voice hoarse with emotion. “You’re standing.”

Tears spilled down your cheeks again. It was so hard—harder than you imagined. Your muscles shook with the effort, your balance precarious. But you were up. You were standing.

“See?” he murmured, his forehead pressing to yours. “You’re stronger than you know.”

“I’m scared,” you admitted in a broken whisper.

“I know,” he said, his lips brushing your temple. “But I’m here. Always.”

He stepped back just a little, holding your hands tight. “Do you want to try to make it to the balcony?” he asked softly. “It’s only a few steps. I’ll walk backwards the whole way. My shadows will help if you need it.”

You glanced at the balcony doors, the soft sunlight spilling in. It seemed so far away. An impossible distance. But you trusted him. You trusted him more than you trusted yourself right now.

“Okay,” you breathed.

His smile was soft and proud as he began to walk backwards, his hands steady on yours. Each step was a battle—your balance wobbly, your body straining to adjust to the new weight and feel of the prosthetic. Tears slid down your cheeks, but you didn't stop. Azriel’s eyes stayed locked on yours, his quiet encouragement wrapping around you like a shield.

“Almost there, love,” he murmured. “You’re doing so well.”

His shadows slithered up to your torso, cool and comforting as they steadied you. You clutched his hands like a lifeline, your breaths coming in short, shaky gasps.

Finally, you reached the balcony. He eased you down onto the cushioned couch on the balcony, the cool breeze washing over your sweat-slick skin. You were crying again, but these were different tears. Tears of relief and pride and something like hope.

Azriel sat beside you, his arm wrapping around your shoulders. He pressed a kiss to your temple, his tears wet against your skin.

“I’m so proud of you,” he whispered. “So fucking proud, love.”

You turned to him, your forehead resting against his shoulder. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

He lifted your chin, his eyes shining. “You did it, love. I was just here to remind you of what you’re capable of.”

For a long moment, you sat there together, gazing out at the city below. You hadn’t seen the sun, or heard the birds, or felt the breeze in so long. A small smile spread across your face.

“You’re still you,” Azriel said softly, his voice full of conviction. “No matter what. And I will love you in sickness and in health, just like I promised.”

You closed your eyes, your hand finding his. “I love you too,” you whispered. “Even when I don’t love myself.”

He brushed his lips against yours, a gentle, reverent kiss. “Then I’ll love you enough for both of us,” he murmured. “Until you learn how to love yourself again.”

You leaned into him, the weight of his love a steady warmth in your chest. You weren’t healed—not yet. But for the first time since coming back from the mission, the day that you would find happiness again didn’t seem so far away.

[ivveranaji]

HIHIHIHHIHHI CAN WE GET SOME AHEM kinich x reader who works at Ifa's clinic and is very sweet?! reader may or may not put others miles before themselves heehee

BYEBYE (I ate your last kinich fic btw)

Hello !!

Oh yes Ifa! I couldn't get him because I was close to a 5 star and wanted Kinich 💔

(I'm glad you liked it !!)

I hope I did as you wanted and that you'll eat that too!

Gn reader

1184 words

The sun was burning your skin but you couldn't do anything about it. You had to bring back the new equipment to Ifa. The health of the saurian couldn't wait so you breathed in and started to walk again.

Ignoring how hard it was for you to breathe right now, you were determined to continue.

Earlier in the day, a woman came to Ifa with a baby Qucusaur. He immediately helped the little saurian. It was hurt but with rest it will be fine now that Ifa had done his work. But he encountered a problem when the Qucusaur broke one of his tools when it got scared of it. Ifa isn't mad at all, it's understandable that the little bird gets scared. The woman said she found it alone and you were worried for the mother. Ifa immediately took your worry seriously and he had to ask you to get the new tool and some other things, this way you hadn't to do the walk for only a single thing, while he was gonna check for the mom.

The path to Xilo's workshop was fine. But after chatting with her a bit you started to see the sun sets. You were worried Ifa was waiting for you. Even if you knew he was a chill guy and wouldn't get mad because of that, you couldn't help but rush yourself.

However, as you were taking the same path, this time a group of wild saurians was in the middle of it. You didn't want to disturb them so you took another way. This path was less practicable but you wouldn't stop there. Even with some bruises you continued walking to the clinic. But apparently your luck was off today, this time it was a group of monsters that was in the middle of the way. You back down from them and started to walk another way when a scream from one of them alerted them of your presence.

You only had a short time to get the box to the ground and get your sword out. You weren't the greatest warrior but you had to fight with other warriors before. The difference was that this time you were alone. You didn't know what to do.

The monsters were merciless, you struggled to make damage to them while they had your blood out of your skin.

Ultimately, the exhaustion of earlier got the better of you and you fell to your knees. Watching the monster holding his weapon above you, you closed your eyes waiting for the hit. But you only heard different screaming between your attackers. When you opened your eyes, you saw the hero of the Scions of the Canopy in front of you. He had killed all of them in almost a second. Turning his face to you, he silently walked to you.

" - Thank you! I'm really grateful but I have to deliver this so I'll repay you later! "

You tried to stand up but your legs were tired and injured. But you wouldn't stop there. As you continued to stubbornly try to walk, you failed to hear Kinich say he didn't want you to repay him. He crouched with his back to you, waiting for you to climb up. Hesitant, you had no choice but to ask him for help again. You couldn't walk at all, so you placed yourself on his back. He made sure you were comfortable, holding you with one arm. He then lifted the box with one hand and walked to the clinic.

You felt guilty he had to carry you and the box to Ifa. But Kinich really didn't mind. He walked silently. You felt at ease with him, without noticing you fell asleep on his back. He was a little startled when he felt your head fall on his shoulder but a smile escaped his lips.

Ifa immediately tended to your injuries. You woke up not long ago, when you heard the cries of the little Qucusaur. He wasn't mad at you, if was rather mad at himself for what happened to you.

Kinich refused any kind of payment from both of you, simply saying he helped a friend.

Before he walked back to his home, you yelled at him that he was always welcome here and that you will help him without a doubt if he needs it in the future. He nodded and you saw him swing away.

Time has passed since this day and Kinich never really leaves your thoughts. You find yourself daydreaming of him sometimes.

You knew him for a while now. At first you only saw him at the Pilgrimage. Already building a crush on him. But you became closer with the appearance of the traveler. You can confidently say that you are good friends. Kinich is a busy person but when he has time, he takes you to eat.

Sometimes he comes to see you and you'll always massage his shoulder while talking about your day. At first he was against the massage but he quickly understood that it was your way to repay him for all he does. And you do really good massages !

Kinich and you are really different. He believes every thing he does has a price while you just do anything even for free. But the man actually loves this about you. He would be worried at first but Ifa is with you. Your kindness can be your fall one day. But Kinich would never wish for you to change it.

After all he falls for you because of this trait.

Today is his day off and he felt like inviting you again. He was about to quit the scions when he saw a familiar figure. Here you were, wandering. He approached you.

" - Kinich! I'm glad you're still here! I was afraid you were gone for another mission and nobody could tell me where you lived!! "

You were rambling about your experience, and he will listen till the end just to let your voice fill his brain. Untill someone broke it.

" - Enough mortal! The Almighty Dragonlord Kuhu'l Ajaw has better things to do tha- "

Kinich violently threw the dragon away. You mumbled a sorry.

" - Don't listen to him, continue, I'm listening. "

You smiled at him and let your backpack slide from your shoulder.

" - Here! I made a gift for you! "

He took the bag and looked inside. You had sewed a pouch to put around his waist. He could recognize the tissue you always use to sew your clothing. His ears turned red but he brushed it off.

" - Thank you, I will take great care of it. "

" Don't worry! If something happens to it I'll be more than happy to redo one for you! "

Sweet. He thought. He smiled and thanked you again. He then took your hand delicately.

" - I shall invite you to eat then. "

It was a question of days before one of you confessed.

[magicalqueennightmare]

That Happened

John Walker x Reader

You stumble upon John in a delicate position and well things happen.

NSFW. Male masturbation, Unprotected sex

“Hey Doll, can you go check in on Walker?” you groaned at Bucky’s words. “Why me?” you asked and he shrugged “Well for one, you're the only one beside me and Bob that either hasn’t tried to kill him in the last month or that he hasn’t tried to kill” 

“Him and Alexei are fine!” you argued and he gave you a look so you rolled your eyes “Fine” and walked away. Why were you the official John Walker wrangler of the team? Was it because every time he got too mouthy you were the one who managed to shut him the hell up? Or was it because it seemed like you were the only one he rarely argued with? Either way you normally got stuck with assignments like this. John had been prickly to say the least coming back from a mission. He’d dropped into medical like he had to then was gone and hadn’t been seen since so it was your job to make sure he hadn’t hid a wound and was bleeding out on his floor or something.

You made it to the elevator then headed down to his floor. You stepped off into his living room area and he was nowhere to be seen. Ok that was a little off putting. He normally was lounging in here if he wasn’t in common areas or the gym. Maybe he was asleep?

You walked further into the room and heard what sounded like a grunt. Was he hurt? You walked towards his bedroom and realized that was not a grunt of pain. A broken moan filled the air, was John with someone? No, guests had to be passed through security. You crept closer and saw that the door was cracked open. This was wrong on so many levels but for all his faults, the man was fucking gorgeous. You’d had feelings for him for a while, that was why it was so annoying having to wrangle him.

You peeked through the crack in the door and the sight before you made your thighs clench. John was laid flat on his back, completely naked and god damn what a sight. You knew he was a beautiful man fully clothed but that didn’t do him justice. His hand was wrapped around his thick cock, the leaking tip oozing with precum as he stroked it with controlled rhythm. His other hand fisted the blanket on his bed, his head was tilted back, eyes closed.

You knew you should go but it wasn’t something you wanted to turn away from. You could feel your arousal dripping down your thighs then it happened, the distinctive sound of your name falling from his lips. John was jacking off and thinking about you? Holy hell what kind of wet dream were you in the middle of?

You needed to leave. If he caught you here, like this? You turned to leave but just as you did, his hand slowed and he looked up “I could hear you the moment you stepped off the elevator sweetheart” you felt your face flush. “I’m s-sorry John”

He grinned “Don’t be… I was thinking about you” you swallowed hard, pushing the door open, eyes glued to his cock as his hand lazily stroked himself “What?” he nodded “Why do you think I had to get back here? The way you had to be so close to me on the mission then on the way back? My cock was throbbing for a release? Didn't know I had another option but from the way you’re rubbing those pretty little thighs together looks like I do”

“Don’t tease me unless you want me John” you breathed and he smirked “And don’t stare unless you’re gonna strip and join me” 

Luckily for him you’d already changed into joggers and t-shirt. You held his eyes, the challenge in those blue orbs clear. You slipped your shirt over your head and he sat up when he realized you didn’t have a bra on. “Come on darlin, yours for the taking”

You shoved your joggers off and walked over to the bed. He grinned when you slipped a leg over his waist. You could feel his hard cock pressing against your ass. He gripped your chin, staring at you for a moment “You actually want this? Want me?” you nodded “I’ve wanted you for a while John” he laughed “Well damn honey, you just had to say so” and pulled you down so your lips could meet. It was all tongue and teeth. Need and desire and want. Your chest was heaving by the time you broke away from each other. 

You braced your palms on his shoulders to lean up and line him up with your opening. When you slowly sank down on him he groaned “Fuck that’s so damn much better than my hand” you laughed once you were completely seated on his cock. “Fuck, you’re big” he grinned, pressing kisses across your neck “I ain’t exactly apologizing for that one”

Your lips found each other, kisses being traded while your body adjusted to the intrusion of his cock. Once the stretch gave way to pleasure you gave a roll of your hips and when it sent a jolt of pleasure through you you smiled at him. “Gonna make yourself cum on my cock pretty girl?” he asked and you knew he felt your walls flutter around him “Yeah pretty boy, I’m gonna make myself cum on your cock. Then I want you to use my pretty little pussy until it’s dripping with your cum. How do you like that idea?” his eyes were a dark blue instead of the usual sky like hue as he nodded.

You lifted up almost all the way then slammed back down onto his cock, pulling a gasp free of your lips. His hands rested on your hips, head leaned back against his headboard. “That’s it baby” he praised as you found a rhythm that had that familiar heat pooling in your lower belly in no time. You were so close to that edge so you slipped a hand between your bodies, rubbing a tight circle onto your clit and came with a loud moan of his name.

He bit down on your neck as your legs shook around his waist. Once you came down from your high he raised an eyebrow “My turn?” you nodded, breathlessly “Your turn handsome” he grinned, grip tightening on your hips. You loved John’s strength. Every damn time he showed it off it made you feel some type of way and now was no different. He effortlessly raised you up before slamming you back down.

You were helpless to do anything but lay your head over onto his shoulder, sobs of his name and praises for him falling from your lips as he used your body to get closer and closer to that peak. You could feel another orgasm building and knew he had to be close. “You’re cumming once more before I do” he whispered, his fingers finding your clit. You clung to his shoulders as your orgasm ripped through you. Your orgasm pulled him over that edge with you. He buried himself inside of you with a low grunt and you felt him cum. It shot deep inside of you and god help he kept cumming, rolling his hips as he emptied his seed into you. 

Once he was finally finished he held you tight against him. “So, this a one time thing or?” you looked up at him “I don’t want it to be” he grinned “Thank god, cause I want to keep you” you shook your head “Don’t get ahead of yourself Walker” he rolled his hips and you whimpered pathetically which made a cocky grin slip onto his face “Sure about that?” you shook your head, catching his lips in a kiss “Be a good boy and you may be able to keep me” 

He nodded slowly “Yes ma’am”

@desimarie12

[bluemoonpunch]

🌟A Soul Mate Reading for Park Jimin - Tarot & Oracle Reading

[Performed: May 22, 2025 / Posted: June 2, 2025]

VOTING RESULTS!

Soul Mate Reading — 66.1%

Past, Present Future — 22.2%

Soul Map Reading — 19.4%

Crystal Garden — 19.4%

*Just a reminder! For this reading, I’m focusing on energy signatures and projections, meaning, NO, I can not see exactly who this person is that is connected to Jimin, and even if I could, would that be my business to share? No! So, please, just enjoy the vibes, it’s a really great one! :D

NOTES

I’m quite excited to do this reading because something about Jimin just makes me so gushy when I think about him getting all loved up by someone he loves just as much. I really can’t stop smiling about it. Maybe it’s just his Libra energy coming through, but as soon as I started tapping into the romantic connections, focusing on the most prominent romantic soul mate connection he will have, or already has in this lifetime, so much stuff started coming through in big warm waves. The biggest theme? BIRDS! So many birds! All kinds of birds!

The first thing I saw for this connection were two swans, huddled together, chest to chest, heads coming together to form a heart out of their necks. I wrote down, “old school romance.“ It feels quite classic, like the high school sweethearts that would share their first kiss while riding through “the tunnel of love,” on one of those wooden swan boats. There’s something so youthful and playful about this connection, but it’s wrapped up in this feeling of two people who are 100 years old and have been together forever, softened and blended into their relationship to the point where there’s no accurate label — dating? Married? Soul bonded? None of it fits! They’re just together in every way and there’s no question to it, no insecurity, no doubt. I just see everything fusing together into a new form that becomes something natural, something that always was and will be. A very strong and clear soul connection that ripples out through the body and mind. Genuinely delightful.

I then saw flashes of a bunch of other birds. Flamingos, penguins, owls, cranes, and parakeets were the ones I could recognize. With this I heard, “mate for life,” which was laying out the obvious one-and-done type of relationship, but I was also seeing it go in a couple of other directions with “mate” referring to a friend, and referring to a shipmate, like a partner on a pirate ship. There are levels to this connection where the loyalty of friendship and the trust of a “partner in crime” are integral elements to the life-long romantic dedication that this relationship is swimming in. If we think about these two being the swans, this trust and loyalty is the water they’re floating on, it’s the foundation of the whole thing. This can imply that this person would be friends with Jimin first, or even if the romantic elements of this relationship do not last, the friendship would persist even after the romantic relationship ended — although, at this point, I don’t see that being a possibility with the way they seem to just get fused together once the relationship begins!

Doubling down on that, I also heard, “this commitment knows no other,” which came with the sound of bells or some kind of chimes, which made me think of a wedding, as well as the 100 year olds who have been together forever, sitting outside listening to the windchimes sings. There’s a very strong desire on both sides to establish commitment, but it goes so deep in each individual it’s hard to even wrap my mind around it in order to put it into words. It’s like, in my mind, the idea of being deeply in love with someone begins with a 50/50 kind of projection and reciprocation, like when two people come together they create 100% of love… these two feel more like they’re overflowing as individuals, like they’re just so unbelievably in love with each other that they’re spilling out oceans worth of love that could drown out the whole world, and perhaps that’s exactly what this love does.

They really do seem to have a “no one else exists in the whole Universe when I look at you,” type of vibe going on because I kept seeing their energies sitting under a glass dome, them being in their own little world, away from everyone and everything else. It’s not literal, they’re not isolated or hidden away, but this is how they would make each other feel. There’s a big emphasis on both sides feeling incredibly safe with each other, wrapped up, tucked away in each other's energy. This safety is for both of them, but this other person takes it to another level by, on a conscious level, really seeking to protect Jimin. Mentally, emotionally, and physically this person is amplifying this safe energy, grabbing onto it, and wrapping Jimin up in it in any and every way they possibly can. It’s so strict as well, like a literal line of security guards modeled after this one person — “You will NOT be sad! You will NOT be in pain! You will NOT hate yourself! You will NOT doubt yourself! No harm will come to you! Not on my watch!”

I was so overwhelmed by this energy when I really stepped into it and like, damn, you really need to be BUILT to handle that kind of love. You need to be able to actually accept it, hold it, and carry it, and thankfully, Jimin and this other person were clearly designed for each other because, good lord, if someone tried to love me like that, I think I’d just explode into a big puff of confetti. Couldn’t handle it.

I wanted to focus a bit more on this other person to see how they see Jimin, to get a better feel for things on their end specifically. I was getting more birds, but what was being highlighted was the idea that this person sees Jimin as a “rare bird,” as someone who is incredibly unique and special, and also a little hard to catch, pin down, or hold onto. I was seeing this as another version of that glass dome where, rather than seeing them both inside, this other person was capturing Jimin and sticking him under the dome in an effort to hold onto him and protect him. It was quite funny actually because I felt like I could hear this person sighing while I was looking at this image being like, “you have no idea how hard it was to even get him in the house!”

With this, I was seeing a situation, perhaps demonstrating the beginnings of this relationship, where this person was sitting on the front porch of a house in a little chair while bird watching. They admired birds from afar all the time, mostly just admiring their songs, but then, one day, the wildest sound hit their ears. This shook them out of their relaxed state and had them looking all around the trees for whatever bird was making this sound. They eventually find him, the little Jimin bird, the most beautiful bird this person has ever seen with the most glorious song this person has ever heard. For days and days, this person takes their chair out into the yard to sit right underneath Jimin’s tree, to admire him and listen to his song. This person gets quite comfortable with the idea that this lovely bird will just always be there, until one day, uh-oh, Jimin flew away! And apparently this person didn’t know that was a thing that could happen. (I’m actually laughing so hard though, they really seem so flabbergasted that Jimin would step out and start flirting with someone else if he’s not in a committed relationship. Honey, that’s a Libra you’re dealing with!)

After this incident, which apparently was quite earth-shattering for this poor soul, they went on a mission to capture the little Jimin bird. There seems to have been just a wee bit of lemon juice in that little Jimin bird because apparently he was up in that tree singing and dancing for this person the whole time, and after days and days (possibly years, oh my god) of just being STARED AT, he figured that person didn’t want him. So he took off. Now, obviously, I’m not gonna be privy to all the details here, but golly gee, it sure does seem like Jimin never had any intention of actually flying away for good and very possibly could have just flown away because he knew this person would step up if he put the fear of god in them by reminding them that he does in fact have other options. That Libra Sun and Scorpio Mars were BEAMING I’m sure.

I really feel like Jimin was such a little shit about this too, because I’m seeing this whole “taming and domesticating” the bird as a fight that didn’t need to be a fight, like it’s giving brat vibes and I just really need to let you know that because there’s something so adorably hilarious about this whole thing. But sure enough, this other person does in fact get Jimin in the house and they put him under the glass dome to keep him extra safe. The big kicker here is that this person then puts themself under the same dome. This is a major turning point in the connection as it was demonstrating some kind of sacrifice that was recognized on both sides from the other — essentially, they were both willfully sacrificing their freedom to enter a deeply committed relationship.

Now, we’re moving away from the humorous bird bit and moving into a space of quite serious back and forth affirmation of commitment and security. This is a love rooted in youth, it’s a connection found early in life, and there is quite a lot to say about people who willfully dedicate themselves to someone so early on in their life. To intend that the majority of your existence be spent with just one person, especially if you consider the mindset of our generation toward relationships, this is quite a serious thing.

Again, I dare not try to speak too much for them here, but the way it looked (as nothing was really being said out loud) made it seem like Jimin wasn’t expecting it entirely. There was a playfulness to the way he danced and sang, a playfulness to the way he “fought” being domesticated and brought inside, and there was a playfulness to the way he continued to dance and sing under the dome. But then, he just kind of froze when, all of the sudden, this person was under the dome with him, just as under lock and key as he was.

Just as an example to try and explain this, imagine the type of person who really wants to be wanted, wants the constant affirmation that they are desired and needed by the person they love. In a relationship, especially at the beginning, they tease and play around, perhaps play hard to get in some ways in order to get that chase from the other person. It’s subtle though, periodic, but ultimately it’s not something that is majorly pushed because part of the reason this person wants to be wanted is because they think no one wants them at all. There’s an underlying issue where, like the bird, they know they can dance, they know they can sing, they can put on a good show, but they feel that when they speak, when they become human, people leave. There’s no clear reason as to why, and it becomes internalized as “there’s just something wrong with me.”

So, imagine such a situation where this person is persuaded by someone they wanted, someone they had fallen in love with, and they put on the show, sang and danced, played the games, and was happily captured with the underlying expectation that this would all be temporary, only for them to one day turn around and see their person standing there with a chain around their wrist and a key held out to them, happily saying, “lock me up! I’m yours!”

I can see Jimin sort of frozen in this state of shock, of a sudden realization that, oh, wait, me? Wait, what? Huh? And the funniest thing is, this other person seems to be able to read minds because even without saying anything, this other person just started “reciting vows,” making promises, confessing their undying love, the whole thing. But it’s like this person never stopped, never stopped speaking these “vows,” never giving Jimin a chance to question it, deny it, or push it away. They just started flooding the dome with all that love and it kept going and going, and then we wrap back around to the images of the swans.

It’s very healing. This kind of love is literally designed for Jimin the way Jimin’s love is designed for this other person. It just fills in all the gaps, clears all the fog, soothes all the pain, blocks out all the noise, and fuses them together. Once they are together, there is no desire at all to be separated, no desire to leave the dome, leave the house, leave the yard. It really makes me want to cry because how many lifetimes do you gotta live before getting to a love like this?? I can’t even get love from family and these two are out here drowning themselves in love that has the potential to flood the entire Universe if they were to take that dome off. I’m jealous!

But I mean, really, with all the shit that Jimin has to deal with, all the hate that unnecessarily gets thrown his way, who else in this world deserves this kind of love more than him?

Side note: I could not get the song Love Like This by Natasha Bedingfield out of my head after doing this reading. Literally, for days I’ve been singing this damn song that I probably haven't listened to in well over ten years. If you’ve never heard it, you need to:

GUIDELINE

For the guideline reading, I wanted to focus on more concrete projections of this connection, the foundational pieces of it as well as anything that I may have missed while observing the signatures. This layout seems to have a bit of everything, a bit of Jimin, a bit of the other person, and a bit of the connection overall.

Starting with The Unseen, there is a veil put over this connection right away. It doesn’t feel like the glass dome but rather a sheer curtain cast over the glass dome from the outside. Just given the career Jimin has and the general idol culture around dating, I’m pretty sure this has to do with necessary secrecy, however, I’m very focused on the eye and the idea that, if you look closely, you can see them in the dome, but it can be easy to miss if you’re not actually trying to see them. This then blends a bit into the Earth card where I was seeing The Unseen being buried in the ground, but lots of flowers blooming on top of them. It’s like a funny little thing suggesting that you can’t actually hide them, there would be some kind of evidence fluttering around like a big neon sign saying THE LOVERS ARE HERE!

This element of consideration for the public display and possibly necessary filtration of this connection is shown with Poised and Fork In The Road. However, I do feel this to be way more on Jimin’s side. There is an effort to navigate within the confines of what would appear the most “poised” or appropriate in the public eye. I’m also seeing a kind of “stripping down” to some degree where in Fork In The Road, there are multiple figures while there is only one in Poised, implying the effort to appear single or simply unattached or unconfirmed to some degree.

Now, this bit certainly had me giggling because it seems there are only a couple of ways these two clash or don’t see eye-to-eye, and here it comes down to how they view and treat people who are awful to them, who treat them bad. Jimin’s energy is sitting over there in Forgiveness, and I was hearing something along the lines of, “just pray for them.” Like, don’t engage, don’t get mad, just wish them well and forget they exist. This other person, however, is in that Aries card… they want to take revenge. They want to fight, yell, and throw stones back in the face of anyone who treats them badly, and this only gets amplified when it comes to someone treating Jimin poorly.

In the center card, the charge of Aries is there with Mars while that deep underbelly of a wounded or bruised ego comes through the Scorpio energy. I was seeing the little figure on the right as Jimin, carrying incense and on his way over to the Forgiveness card where he’s going to “pray” for the person who has just done him wrong. The big figure is the other person, holding a sword in one hand and the head of a person in the other. Jimin’s like, “I’m on my way to pray!” and this other person is like, “oh, that’s nice. Here’s the head of the person who called you ugly.”

The clashing energy between Forgiveness and Aries does or has over time settled into a place where Aries, or this other person, keeps Forgiveness, or Jimin, from becoming too complacent or allowing other people’s words to have too much of an effect on him. Just the same, Forgiveness keeps Aries from… actually trying to kill people. Which is good.

And just as an added bonus, the image up in the top right corner of Revenge shows a pair of lovers who seem to be encased in stone or buried underground, going back to how I was seeing The Unseen and Earth. With this, it could be that this energy becomes amplified, the energy of Forgiveness and Aries spike on both sides whenever there is a threat or criticism toward their relationship, or this is showing how they both spike when it comes to the other person being treated badly.

This set reflects exactly what I was seeing with the two of them living under a glass dome inside a house on private property. The energy of the connection is rooted in stability and security that both sides provide for each other, and just as the Immersion card shows, they’re literally swimming in this love that they have.

They got all Light cards from this deck which implies a mostly very positive and healthy connection, not a lot of shadows or spaces for toxicity between them. A New High and Mutual Respect came out together and I was really feeling this on Jimin’s side where the love and respect that this person shows them just hits different. The kind of love and respect Jimin gets from this person was a key factor in him being able to demand respect for himself from other people, to not tolerate negativity put toward him, and with that there is an incredible boost to self-confidence.

Light As A Feather and Amplification is more on the other person’s side where Jimin’s energy, mindset, personality, or general mode of operation lifts them up as well. It amplifies them, gives them a strong foundation that allows them to build on themself, expand, and become more of who or what they are.

Both A New High and Light As A Feather carry a weightlessness to them, and what comes to mind the most is the idea of the 10 of Swords and the 10 of Wands being reversed for both of them — Jimin once having the 10 of Swords and this other person once having the 10 of Wands:

The 10 of Swords is more in the mental space, and I was seeing this as Jimin being pinned down and nearly killed by the words of other people, a deeply troubling idea, but one that is definitely in the past. The 10 of Wands is more energetic or in the physical space, but I’m really focused on the idea that the wands there are like antennas. The swords are words spoken directly to Jimin or about Jimin, and the wands are more like implications, expectations, something more subtle that this other person carried with them from other people that caused them to “keep their head down.” It forced them to submit on some level.

These two reverse these cards for each other, remove the burdens and pain, heal each other, and then they just start floating.

Following the previous set, Dream Weaver and Erratic come together in an odd way where I was seeing something that could be attributed to alchemy where elements of chaos in their life, of things that put them in the 10 of Swords and the 10 of Wands, are turned into something etheric. It’s hard to explain it, but it’s just coming through like they can kind of convince each other that it’s not real. The things people say or do to them, or have done to them just aren’t real. It doesn’t exist. This may go back to the idea of them being under that dome together, in their own little world. Nothing outside of it exists unless they both agree that it does. It’s very interesting.

At the end, there’s a wide-sweeping energy here that starts on a higher level with The Lovers, or the union of their souls, which then generates the energy of The Sun, which shines down on The Fool and ignites the Ace of Wands. As I’m seeing it, The Lovers is for both of them, it’s them as one solid piece, souls fused together. The Sun is their individual higher unconscious mind suddenly being illuminated, a deep knowing that this is their person, reflected through the amount of joy and youthful energy they feel with each other. The Fool connects to their subconscious minds where, once they are together, those deeper shadowy places become illuminated (so things can be worked on) and the water in the background, connecting to their love flood, washes away anything heavy, dark, or painful, giving way to a sky made of gold.

The Ace of Wands connects to their conscious level selves where both are really standing in their power, are in control of themselves and what they do, and seem to carry a very strong sense of authority, but in the way a demigod holds authority. They transcend through each other and the way they act, express, build, and develop on the outside as individuals is directly connected to their higher soul union. They complete each other and in doing that, they amplify and empower each other.

Lastly, the keywords that came out for this connection are Abuse, Pain, Time Jumping, and Joy. It was pretty straight forward with Abuse and Pain going back to the 10 of Swords and the 10 of Wands, and Joy connecting to The Sun/The Fool/Ace of Wands. The Time Jumping implies a reality shift which is connecting back to The Lovers, or the union of their souls. Their reality will change or has changed as a result of their union.

GUIDELINE WITH SPRINKLES!

At the very front, laying directly over the eye in The Unseen, is “time of misery.” As it blocks out the "visible" part of the image, or blocks the only eye looking in, this seems to exaggerate or express the element of misery or sadness connected to secrecy. Both sides may feel quite uncomfortable or even very against the necessary secrecy their connection may need to remain in. It spreads out in a few different directions where the element of secrecy builds frustration, anxiety, and even hatred for people who set out to not just believe but prove to others that they are either not together or they are with other people. They’re very protective of their connection and the need to hide or keep secrets in the public space creates a lot of tension within them. Thankfully, it doesn’t seem to affect the relationship overall, it just leads to frustration towards others.

Connecting The Unseen to Earth, there is “something is moving,” which, with the yellow color, seems to be the covered eye opening, or representing the people who can see these two, see the connection. They can see them “moving around,” or can pick up on signals. Going back to the image I had of them being buried under ground and flowers growing over them — this is referring to people who can see the flowers and can infer what is below the surface.

Over The Fork In The Road, the first Sprinkle says, “lots of books for that,” which feels more connected to Jimin, who I was seeing as being the main person to actually choose Poised, choose to restrict expression or hide the connection to a degree. It feels a bit sarcastic, like someone saying, “they have self-help books for that.” It’s implying that this issue around necessary secrecy isn’t uncommon, the need to make these decisions isn’t a new thing or unique to them, but it’s pushing the idea that, just the same, revealing the truth or breaking out of that veiled state is also common enough that you could follow the experience of other people like a manual.

Over the same card, there are also three other Sprinkles that say “did you have a chance?” “confirmation,” and “your friends are here.” This came together as “did you have a chance to confirm things yet? Your friends are here, they’re waiting for you. They’re waiting to support you.” As these lie over the figures in the image who are actually standing at the crossroad and choosing which way to go, it feels like there’s an effort to break the cycle or pattern of choosing, or allowing themselves to be buried. Again, I feel this choice is mainly on Jimin’s side, but this conversation is hitting both of them.

Connecting downward from the Poised card to Light As A Feather, “really blown away,” seems to represent that element of breaking a cycle. As I was seeing it, it’s like the fairy that is jumping on the platform in Poised is suddenly made to be even lighter after removing the elements of secrecy or subtlety, which causes her to then be blown away from the platform when she jumps. The platform, and the Poised card in general, represented public performance and the purposeful, self-inflicted veiling of the connection. To be blown away from it shows that, on many levels, the reveal or confirmation of this connection would move them, especially Jimin, away from performance and secrecy in many ways. As Light As A Feather is alongside Amplification, it shows that the confirmation of the connection has the potential to amplify both people to where they can share more of themselves, or live more honestly and openly in more ways than one.

Over Forgiveness there is “not another one…” while Revenge has “world figures,” and “never alone.” As Forgiveness is representing Jimin, the “not another one…” really feels exhausted with the idea that there is endless praying, endless forgiving, to go along with the endless hatred or harassment that he is the recipient of. This element of being exhausted with it was in Jimin’s Elemental Alignment as well, especially within his soul.

The other person is very active in this space, charged up and observing this issue. If this person receives their own hate like Jimin does, they really seem to not notice it at all because they’re more focused on what is happening to Jimin, what is being said about Jimin. With “Gemini” over the Aries card, it’s showing this person to be observing things, observing patterns in others, and there’s a very clear cut off in their own emotional state. They’re not being directly hurt by what is being said or what they are observing, but they are getting very angry on Jimin’s behalf.

Going back to the Revenge card, “world figures,” is more in the upper half of the card, where this other person has held the head of an enemy, and “never alone,” is in the lower half where I was seeing the smaller figures as Jimin himself. This other person is observing people in the world, possibly through social media with that connection to Gemini, and is just like… creating a mental hitlist while also just calmly standing by Jimin, making sure that this doesn’t become too much.

On another level, I also feel a degree of necessary distraction. Jimin seems to be taking a lot in, seeing a lot more than people would think since a lot of people seem to assume that because he doesn’t post online a lot that must mean he’s literally never online at all. This person is trying to block things out, which could be literal in the sense of this person literally filtering or blocking things for Jimin, blocking and blacklisting words and people so that Jimin doesn’t see them.

Overall, this other person is very proactive about this and seems to do a lot of “heavy lifting” when it comes to trying to curate a safer environment for Jimin where he doesn’t feel alone, isolated, or directly targeted.

Over A New High and Mutual Respect, there is “Lenses + Pictures” which I was seeing as being very straight forward with the idea of “mutual obsession.” It seems more complex with the way I’m seeing it, but it’s coming through as literally just taking pictures of each other, watching each other. There’s an element of watching through admiration as well as surveillance — watching out of love and a desire to protect. This also seems to be a root for confidence and higher self-esteem, especially on Jimin’s side, where the admiring eye of this other person, their desire to take pictures of him, or commit him to memory in some way really helps or has helped his self-image become more positive.

Over Dream Weaver and Erratic, there is “Lover + Power” and “a green man.” Going back to what I was saying about these two cards feeling like a space where alchemy occurs, where negativity is transformed into something positive, or is blocked out by something positive, “Love + Power” feels like the tool or the potion that is created that transforms, heals, or cures the ailment of negative influence. “A green man,” is meant to refer to a man made out of Earth, or a man who is an Earth Sign, but this can also refer to someone who is very stable and reliable. This seems to be putting a highlight on the other person here, suggesting that the element of alchemy belongs to them, they are the one actively transforming or flushing out the negativity that comes toward them, or just toward Jimin. Again, they seem very proactive when it comes to helping and protecting Jimin.

In the last set of cards, over The Lovers specifically, are the runes “wunjo” and “ingwaz.” The Wunjo rune is associated with pleasure, joy, peace, comfort, success, and community, while the Ingwaz rune is associated with peace, harmony, fertility, inner growth, and virtue. These energies are connected to The Lovers, the space of union for their souls. There’s a feeling of amplification or stimulation here where it feels like the energy of The Lovers is vibrating faster and starting to spread out more. In my mind, I’m seeing it like the buried lovers in the Revenge card, or as I was seeing them in The Unseen, are being shaken loose from the dirt, or more things are growing outside of the dirt that is lending to a reveal or more exposure. I’m seeing it as more sprouts breaking the surface and touching The Sun card, generating a new state or new energies connected to The Fool, which initiate something through the Ace of Wands. Something new is definitely getting stirred up there.

With that, “the last train,” lays over those last three cards. “The last train,” is in reference to the idea of the last wave of opportunity one has to meet the marker for a specific level of soul development, the last chance to upgrade or advance in some way. It implies the final open door, helping hand, or opportunity given to move forward on a designated path. I started seeing this Sprinkle bounce off of the other light blue Sprinkles in the set, bringing focus to “time of misery,” “confirmation,” “world figures,” “a green man,” and “the last train” all together. They ran together as, “this is the last chance to end the time of misery by confirming to the world the presence of or connection to the green man.”

Lastly, the “Water” element was signified over the keyword Abuse, which took me back to Jimin’s Elemental Alignment where he had the Panther in his Water Alignment that was locked in on “intended hurt” or the abuse and harassment that is sent Jimin’s way, the emotional upset and distortion of identity that comes from it. This seems to be confirming that Abuse is connected to Jimin while Pain is connected to the other person, but the abuse that Jimin receives is still ongoing while the Pain of the other person has already been dealt with and they no longer take in that damage or upset, which is probably why they are so focused on helping, supporting, and distracting Jimin.

MAIN READING

This is the first chunk of the reading here, which covers Jimin and his soul mate as individuals on the levels of the soul, higher unconscious, subconscious, and conscious mind. Keep in mind, we’re viewing them through the lens of this connection, what and who they are/become when they are together.

JIMIN’S SOUL: THE ETERNAL CHILD

JIMIN’S CONSCIOUS MIND: THE MOON + 2 OF CUPS

THE OTHER’S SOUL: THE TEMPLE

THE OTHER’S CONSCIOUS MIND: THE HIGH PRIESTESS + ACE OF CUPS

Right away, I’m seeing The Temple as that glass dome I was talking about earlier, a structure that Jimin is placed inside for protection by the other person, but on this level, it registers as a divine protection through worship. It’s coming off as this person worshiping (loving on an extreme level) Jimin to the point where their own soul becomes a temple for him, a safe place for him. This might be why I was feeling it as them being wrapped up in each other’s energy — This person literally has their soul wrapped around Jimin, and Jimin’s energy or light radiates through the other person because of it. This would also express that fused feeling. I’m also seeing all that green in The Temple connecting back to “a green man,” further expressing that stable Earth energy and solid foundation that they may hold for Jimin, or that they create specifically for Jimin.

Jimin’s soul, as The Eternal Child, is so lovely to see because there’s such a special kind of release that I feel here, one where Jimin is not at all performing or hiding in any way. There’s such a sense of freedom that comes off of this energy that allows Jimin to become a child again, allows him to be playful and carefree, joke around, jump around, dance around, without any concern at all. This person, I would assume, really enjoys these elements of Jimin because this energy is what is held within The Temple the most, it’s what fills the air. The element of safety is a huge thing here. Jimin needs to feel safe in order to let his guard down, to not have his defenses up in any way in order to let his inner child out.

This is showing a really nice dynamic where, when together, Jimin gains a lot of personal freedom and ease while this other person gains a certain kind of strength and fierceness that is used to protect and support Jimin. All of this other person’s energy is quite dedicated to Jimin on some level, one way or another, and that’s another way the element of worship seems to play out here.

On a conscious level, these two continue to mirror each other with Jimin’s Moon card reflecting into the other person’s High Priestess. Playing off of The Temple and The Eternal Child, The High Priestess looks to The Moon for that higher connection, dictates her life by The Moon, and on some level, worships The Moon. Then, with Jimin’s 2 of Cups and the other person’s Ace of Cups, we have further mirroring, but we’re seeing something happen here where Jimin is the one giving this other person that Ace of Cups. It’s hard to describe it exactly, but it’s like Jimin was holding onto two cups, one was for himself and one was for another. They represented the kind of love he wanted to give and the kind of love he wanted to receive. There’s a timidness to the way he holds out the other cup, the one he wants someone else to love him through, but this other person, through The Temple, took that Ace of Cups from Jimin as if it was a gift from God. This other person does not take this request for love as an assignment, challenge, or a favor, they treat it like a blessing, a divine right, on some level feeling like “the chosen one” inside The Temple who was picked out by the God of that temple to be the one to worship him.

Even how they view it is so striking with Jimin, like in the 2 of Cups, just seeing a cup, a simple request, one he’s perhaps thinking or once thought was too much to ask, too much to expect, nothing more than a fantasy, but this other person… The Ace of Cups, like all Aces, is being handed over by “the hand of God,” it’s a cosmic gift, an opportunity that will ignite an entirely new state of being, a new state of progression, it can completely shift a person’s reality from the inside out. On Jimin’s side, he may not have expected or anticipated another person being able to SEE as much in him, or in that cup, as this person sees when they hold the Ace of Cups. It’s beyond comprehension, and that may go back to Jimin looking shocked and frozen when this other person showed up inside that glass dome, asking to be locked up with him.

It’s so funny to think about because they way these energies go back and forth, it really does seem like Jimin didn’t think he could ever be loved by anyone — he thought it would be hard to love him as he is, and then also thought it would be completely impossible for anyone to love him in the way he wanted to be loved… and this person just completely showed up without any command or direction. Again, once that Jimin bird flew away, this person sprang into action and was like, yeah, no, can’t be messing around like this anymore. It’s very sweet though, that underlying confusion in The Moon where the other person, as The High Priestess, is there worshiping, communing with The Moon, and Jimin’s like “am I reading too much into this, or do you like… actually really like me?” and the other person being like “UM???? You are literally my God! My whole soul belongs to you! Why do you keep asking that?!”

WHAT JIMIN’S SOUL IS AIMING FOR: SOUL HEALING + NEW LIFE

WHAT THE OTHER’S SOUL IS AIMING FOR: TRUTH + NEVER-ENDING STORY + SOUL MATES

Right away, I’m seeing the image of Soul Healing reflecting that of The Eternal Child, the light at the chest, as well as the youthful energy that comes with New Life. It’s this feeling of Jimin’s soul trying to break him out of a shell where he may have been quite regulated or curated to come off a certain way to other people. It makes me think very specifically about neurodivergent people masking, and how it can be quite common for neurodivergent people to come off a lot younger than they really are, and this being something that people are very critical of, causing them to mask and mirror certain kinds of strict ideas of what “being mature” or “grown up” is supposed to be or look like. There’s an effort being put towards allowing the inner child to shine through freely without any resistance or sense of shame, and this other person is someone that really brings that out of Jimin. Then they double down on it by worshiping and protecting that energy all the way through.

On the other person’s side, the image of Truth, with the scales weighing the Water and Fire, which was registering as the Moon energy matching up with the Sun energy, reaching a space of equilibrium between energies, feels like a lining up of mirrors. Again, it’s hard to explain it, but I’m seeing this very spiritual thing play out where, when the scales line up between the Water and Fire, or between the Moon and the Sun, it is equivalent to these two seeing each other eye-to-eye, and in that moment seeing themselves. There’s something about there being a moment where they’ve come to love each other so much, hold each other in such high regard, can see the other doing no wrong, and then suddenly, they see themselves inside each other and this causes a very dramatic shift in how they perceive themselves — “How could there be anything wrong with me when you love me the same way that I love you?”

Never-Ending Story with Soul Mates holds a bit of frustration in the other person’s soul, fueling somewhat of a desperation to be with Jimin, to connect and have that deep relationship with him. This is most likely stemming from separation or limitation in past lives where, even though their souls held a certain commitment, it was not able to play out within certain incarnations, most likely the last few before this one, and therefore, this other person’s soul is very dedicated to getting it as soon as possible, holding onto it for as long as possible, and most likely doesn’t want to experience any kind of separation going forward. The other person’s soul is entirely dedicated to ensuring this connection happens and is sustained, with a focus on Jimin’s healing alongside their own. It’s an aspect of self-empowerment and self-realization that would occur simultaneously through each other.

JIMIN’S LIGHT ASPECTS: A NEW HIGH + POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS + RENEWAL

JIMIN’S SHADOW ASPECTS: CRUSHED BY ROCKS + PARASITE + THE TRENCH

THE OTHER’S LIGHT ASPECTS: ANGEL + PROCESSING + A LIVED EXPERIENCE

THE OTHER’S SHADOW ASPECTS: WALL BUILDING + DISSOCIATION + PROJECTION

This set is really interesting, especially in their Light aspects because I can see them reaching across to each other where this other person is present in Jimin’s A New High and Positive Affirmations while Jimin is present in their Angel and Processing cards. A New High and Angel seem to represent the first step to elevating up and away from their own Shadows, which they have rooted in the other — this other person is Jimin’s “new high” and Jimin is this other person’s “angel.” Jimin receives Positive Affirmations from this other person, while something within Jimin allows this other person to process and work through elements of themselves that have been stuck or stagnant, which I was seeing as elements of maturing and solidifying their own identity.

For Jimin, Renewal seems to be connected to New Life, and the aspect of him being able to shed some skin and allow his inner child to be the main essence of what he drives himself through, what he sees the world through, how he expresses himself. It’s a very refreshed and easy-going energy with a lot of wonder and excitement for life and everything that is to come in his future. For this other person, A Lived Experience connects back to Never-Ending Story and Soul Mates where they are very dedicated to actually getting to experience this connection fully, to build up themselves and Jimin together at the same time, to have that hands-on experience and evolve alongside Jimin.

Their Shadows are very isolated, showing that they make quite an effort to hold onto their own shadows, keep them from each other, and most likely aim to deal with these troubles alone so as not to burden each other. Luckily, their presence in each other’s lives, as shown with A New High and Angel, automatically helps them deal with them and move past them regardless.

Jimin’s Shadows are expressed through Crushed By Rocks, Parasite, and The Trench. The Trench refers to the absolute lowest level of the subconscious mind, the heaviest, darkest place where the worst of the worst is kept from both the individual and the people around them. It’s a space where deep repression occurs and it can be quite a difficult place to navigate. Matters of The Trench do not bubble up into the subconscious or conscious mind, the only way to engage with it is to go down into The Trench deliberately. This implies that one of Jimin’s shadows, one of his personal troubles is the willful reflection and observation of the worst of the worst — the worst things he sees in himself, the worst things other people have ever said or done to him, and the worst of his fears that are rooted in the ways of the world overall. It feels a little like self-torture.

Crushed By Rocks refers to entrapment, coming from an intrusive thought/hallucination that I used to have a long time ago where I would get stuck inside the image in my mind where I was taped to the floor of the living room and people came through in a big line and took turns placing big rocks on me, slowly crushing me, suffocating me, but never killing me. It reflected this feeling of painful restriction that I was having at that time, being unable to leave the house, unable to talk to anyone for years, and slowly feeling as if my own existence was fading away while my body continued to breathe and take up space. This is something intrusive for Jimin as well, which feels like a heavy place his mind can drift to when he’s alone. On some level, it feels like the weight of the rocks, if left unchecked, is what sinks Jimin down into The Trench. When the weight of everything is on him and no one is around to distract him or pull him out of it, he’ll sink into the worst imaginable places in his own mind.

Parasite is connected to people who are energetically feeding on Jimin, which immediately is registering as people who claim to hate him so much, yet can’t seem to stop talking about him. They’re obsessively monitoring him, waiting for any chance at all to “bite into him,” criticize, harass, abuse, and mutilate him on any and every level they can, all to fill up on the blood they think/hope they are causing him to lose.

I’m seeing it very clearly in my mind as people who genuinely get off on seeing Jimin be negatively affected by things. What comes to mind is that one clip of Jimin where he’s clearly seeing bad things being said about him in the chat during that group livestream — that’s their favorite thing, actually getting to see him wither down and sink into himself. They’re draining his energy out of him and they’re filling up on the image of him “dying.” Awful people, the worst people, and Jimin is very aware of them, his mind goes to them when he is alone.

With the other person, their Shadows are Wall Building, Dissociation, and Projection. This is very interesting because all of these imply some level of disconnect from the self and the surrounding environment. This gives me the feeling of a person who can get quite lost in themselves just as easily as they can get lost in the noise and motion of their surroundings. They seem to be a bit at the mercy of their own mind regarding stimulation, stress, and overloading the nervous system.

Dissociation is a complete pull-in of the mind, a disconnect from the surroundings, while Projection is a disconnect from the self or self-awareness by way of casting their own energy over the environment. I see this as being something that can be good, but here it’s mostly registering as an issue where their own insecurities become the judgements and critiques of other people, even without anyone saying anything. They just assume that the things they hate about themself are hated ten times worse by everyone around them, getting some kind of backwards validation from it that pushes them to be more or do more than they should or can to try and “satisfy others” when they’re really trying to satisfy themselves. It becomes an issue because they’re not going to receive that positive validation from others to cancel out the negative validation because, again, technically no one actually said anything. No one can take back what they didn’t say, so this person can get quite stuck in trying to appease people who were never upset with them to begin with.

The Wall Building is interesting because it was reflecting that element of them putting a dome around Jimin and then joining Jimin inside the dome. There’s a knee-jerk kind of reaction to this where when things get a bit too much, which could connect to Dissociation, they just throw the walls up and hide. It registers a bit like the masculine container of emotion where a man can feel just as much as anyone, but they’re more likely to get overwhelmed by it faster so they’re quick to hide the tears, quick to make a joke, quick to turn around and start punching the wall. There’s something in it like that around frustration and humiliation specifically, where the walls go up and that surge of emotion spikes the nervous system and then has no where to go, no outlet, which then settles into the body as stress and possibly pain.

Again, it’s an interesting thing where when they do this for themself, they have the potential of doing damage and causing a lot of pain within themself, but when they apply it externally and wrap Jimin up in it, it becomes something positive for both of them. I think it comes down to the fact that when this person builds a wall around themself, they are trying to block things out and push things down, but when they put a wall around Jimin, it is specifically to allow him to get things out, express everything he wants to, and to be his truest self. This goes back to Truth a bit where this person can kind of start to do the same thing in that space, under that dome, with Jimin. This is probably where Angel and Processing come in.

THE SOULS COMBINED: THE RIDDLE

PURPOSE OF CONNECTION: REALIZATION + ORIGINALITY

ELEMENTS OF SHARED DEVELOPMENT: ALCHEMY + LOSS

When their souls come together, they create the energy of The Riddle, which felt a lot like what I was getting earlier where it's difficult to put a label on the connection that fits because it’s so vast and multi-faceted on multiple levels. I’m seeing the element of fusion with the knot in the center, as well as alignment of the layers of consciousness with the three lights shown. We can also see two hands reaching out at the top and a pair of hands clasping at the bottom, showing the aspect of physical separation (two separate bodies) with the underlying inherent connection occurring in the mind always. Essentially, it’s like their souls are waltzing together all the time, connected and in sync, and willfully fused together, no desire to let go. The only separation they allow is held within the fact that they are occupying two different bodies.

The purpose of the connection, represented with Realization and Originality, seems pretty straight forward where they are each other’s keys that unlock their full potential. They are each other's backbones when it comes to their truest identities. They love each other so much, so deeply, they want nothing more than for the whole world to see the other the way they do, and in that there is praise and even worship placed toward their personalities, ways of thinking, talents, and traits that encourage them both to bring those to the forefront and live authentically to themselves. This is set toward their ability to self-actualize which is most likely registering as very significant or connected to the purpose of this connection because this is something required for both of them to fulfill their own personal missions or soul purpose in this lifetime. They have to show up as their truest selves in order to achieve what they are meant to do, and they hold each other up to do just that.

The elements of their shared development, their mirrored progression that occurs when they’ve come into union with each other, is shown with Alchemy and Loss. This immediately registers as major healing in the lower subconscious which lends to an emotional purge or a stripping of insecurity, masking, and self-denial. The Loss card is that connection to the subconscious, insecurities, fears, and what would have been seen at one point as a necessary facade or costume for the world, being pecked out, slowly stripped of the skin in order to reveal the bones underneath.

I’m seeing this as a very intimate process, one that they really could not have done with anyone but each other, as I’m seeing this lining up with the idea of two people getting naked in front of each other for the first time. It’s a bit embarrassing and there’s an urge to hide or cover up, but they have such a deep trust and admiration for each other, both projecting undying and unconditional love that they can actually see and feel, which allows them to very easily strip themselves and begin expressing their truests aspects.

Something in this feels quite exciting as well with the idea that they were the first to ever witness each other's “truest self,” and it’s coming off as someone discovering gold and diamonds while mining. It’s a grand discovery with a lot of value that contributes to status and development going forward. Very specifically, I was seeing Jimin being represented by the diamonds and being expanded upon in the space of value, beauty, and love, both of others and the self. The other person is connected to the gold, and registers as an element of function with how gold is used in computers and technology as a conduit. It amplifies functionality and progress. This suggests that when they are together, Jimin becomes more beautiful, more successful, more loved, and this other person becomes more mature, physically and mentally developed, and more efficient and productive within the work that they do.

Alchemy is there on all levels, both within the union and within them as individuals. They change each other's perspective of themselves, their perception of themselves change when they start to become so fused together that they can only see themselves through the eye of the other person. Their highest point would be a time in which they love themselves the same way they love each other, see themselves the way they see each other, and express themselves the same way they encourage each other to do so.

This next chunk gets more into the conscious level reflections of Jimin and his soul mate, separating things out into a few different categories to compare and contrast levels of connection and compatibility.

JIMIN’S MAIN CONSCIOUS PROJECTIONS: SECOND HOUSE — OWNING + HUMMINGBIRD + PANTHER

THE OTHER’S MAIN CONSCIOUS PROJECTIONS: TENTH HOUSE — THE WORLD + OWL

Jimin had the Panther and the Hummingbird in his Elemental Alignment, and they feel to be reflecting the exact same energies they were there. The Hummingbird is this more outward facing element of Jimin that is always “singing and dancing,” putting on a show to some degree, and putting effort into being a light for others in hopes that that same light will be reflected back to him. The Panther was in his Water Alignment, coming off as the aspect of his subconscious being “employed” or assigned the task of tracking down triggers and other shadows in order to rip them apart and get rid of them. This is showing Jimin’s duality quite strongly, a “light sun/dark sun” situation where the Hummingbird is pushed out while the Panther stays deep in the back of the mind.

Their projections being the 2nd and 10th Houses are pretty interesting as they’re basically laying out the same kind of externalized, earthy energy, big focus on work, money, status, and the curation of stability and beauty, both very concerned with the future, but there is a level of separation here that seems to simply be something that could lend to their dynamic on a conscious level.

The 2nd House is like a smaller version of the 10th House, in relation to work and money, but with Taurus, the 2nd House’s connection to Venus prioritizes comfort and beauty, very similar to what I was getting for Jimin in his Elemental Alignment reading when it comes to curating beauty in his environment. With the 10th House, there’s more focus on long-term stability, protection, and securing foundations that can be sustained. It’s more clinical and structured both in time, money, and energy.

Basically, I’m seeing it as the other person being in charge of building/buying the house, and Jimin would be in charge of curating, decorating, and actually making it a home. This seems to reflect that higher soul element as well where the other person creates The Temple and Jimin’s energy as The Eternal Child is what fills The Temple. Just the same, this person has the house and the glass dome and puts Jimin in the glass dome where he continues to sing and dance.

The other person having the Owl also really shows a very clear and calculated mind, very future-oriented when it comes to their relationship with Jimin, or how they plan out their life with Jimin in mind. The Owl has a bird’s-eye-view of everything, and is the one that navigates things the most, makes the plans, designs the blueprints, and essentially leads the action overall. There’s a bit more of a stillness presented alongside Jimin’s fluttering Hummingbird.

My favorite part about this, however, is that I was brought to focus on the numbers on the 2nd and 10th House cards, with the 2nd House being number 26, and the 10th House being 34. In the same way we can see the Owl leading the Hummingbird, we see number 34 and the 10th House as being greater than 26 and the 2nd House. But the frequency of these numbers reduces to 2/8 with the 2nd House and 1/7 for the 10th House. This other person isn’t just in charge of everything because they come in and demand that control or power, they are granted that power by Jimin.

It’s one of those relationships where, from the outside, there’s clearly one person who’s leading the situation most of the time, there’s a leader there making the plans, signing things, paying for things, but the other person is the real boss, the one who gives the final word. Jimin gives the final word. There’s enough mutual respect here that there is no issue with this dynamic, no one is really sitting in a submissive state, there’s just permission and responsibility floating from one to the other.

JIMIN’S MANNER OF COMMUNICATION: QUEEN OF SWORDS + THE SUN

THE OTHER’S MANNER OF COMMUNICATION: QUEEN OF PENTACLES

Jimin, the Libra, of course, is steeped in Air energy with his communication, while the other is more in the Earth energy, a bit more passive in the communication. As I’m seeing it, Jimin, as the Queen of Swords, is talking, talking, talking all the time, expressing all the time, but the brightest and most potent energy comes with what he expresses with excitement from the inner child, or The Eternal Child, as represented by The Sun. This other person, as the Queen of Pentacles, receives this communication and holds it, as if they’re literally holding The Sun in their lap, admiring everything and anything Jimin has to say. There’s even an element here coming through implying that, as Jimin speaks, from this person’s perspective, the sun starts to shine and it causes things to grow around them, everything starts to blossom and there’s a liveliness that takes over. They feel quite giddy when Jimin talks to them.

It’s giving, “Barbie has a great day every day. Ken only has a great day if Barbie looks at him.”

Jimin’s an open space for a lot of people, so I’m not seeing this other person’s expression or communication coming through on Jimin’s side specifically. That doesn't mean the other person isn’t talking or that Jimin isn’t listening, it just means that Jimin’s appreciation for this person comes through the fact that they actually listen to him.

Jimin is the type to listen to everyone else, ask everyone else how they are feeling, what they’re thinking, and will listen, listen, listen. He could be unintentionally left out in the sense that people can feel so open with him that they forget to ask him anything. This person, Jimin’s soul mate, does not and could not ever forget to ask Jimin, and could never not appreciate every little word that comes out of his mouth. Jimin feels that it is a gift from this person to be heard, and this other person feels that it is a blessing to have Jimin speak directly to them.

I’m pretty sure that this person would literally throw themselves on the floor and start squealing if they think too much about the fact that they probably know secrets about Jimin that he’s never told to anyone else in the entire world. They feel so special when Jimin talks just to them.

JIMIN’S PHYSICAL PROJECTION: TEMPERANCE

THE OTHER’S PHYSICAL PROJECTION: THE MAGICIAN

If we were to ball up all the layers of consciousness and blend them into the soul, and then allow them to develop in the physical world, that is what these cards represent for the two of them. You could also look at it as a reflection of their souls fully integrated into the physical form and how they would or do show up for each other on a physical level.

Immediately, I was taken back to the Truth card as I was registering these energies as Water and Fire, but coming together so perfectly that it started to register as lightning, or very high frequency energy and illumination that is traded back and forth. Jimin’s energy is a bit more passive and at ease, a bit more in the Yin or Divine Feminine flow, while the other’s is more active, pushing outward with more of that Yang or Divine Masculine energy. It shows a lovely balance between their modalities, as well as a kind of support or assurance that goes both ways.

Essentially, Temperance can keep The Magician from becoming mad with power or getting into the habit of forcing things too much, reminding them the importance of the feminine flow, flexibility, and receptivity, giving things a chance to come to you rather than reaching out and grabbing all the time. Just the same, The Magician keeps Temperance from becoming too passive, ensures that they will not get to a point where they simply get pulled away by the flow of the water, finding themself at the mercy of the currents, and ensures that they stay in control of those cups and how that water flows. This is sort of giving me a similar feeling to Forgiveness and Aries and how they met in the middle with Revenge. It’s the same kind of dynamic where one side can encourage the other to not let things go and fight back, while the other encourages the other to relax and not go around murdering people on their behalf.

They are both registering, even on a physical level, as being very high up and very connected to their souls when they are together. This is evidence of them very literally bringing the best out of each other, operating at their best when they are together, and things feeling quite small or easy when they are dealing with them together.

JIMIN’S EMOTIONAL PROJECTION: 4 OF PENTACLES

THE OTHER’S EMOTIONAL PROJECTION: THE EMPRESS + 5 OF CUPS

Now, what the heck is this? This is such an odd set up, I don’t even understand how it works. Their emotional states, with the 4 of Pentacles and the 5 of Cups are them when they are alone, showing Jimin quite locked up and sort of repressing things while the other is drowning in the focus on their own perceived failures or losses. They’re completely separated in these energies, and they feel quite small because of it. It’s like the energies are whispering. They come together in The Empress, opening up, emotional Water flowing through stable Earth energy, amplified with reflected communication, connecting to Libra/Venus/Air energy, but all of that is in the other person’s space. The space of emotional connection is entirely held by the other person.

With Jimin’s emotional projection being locked up by default, a kind of pulled back and filtered expression, I suppose it makes sense that he wouldn’t be the first to really open up or lay those foundations. This other person, however, there’s a certain shame involved in their emotional upsets, something they would want to hide, hide themselves if they start to express it, pull it back, but for some reason they can’t. I would assume that, in general, the other person is just a bit more emotional overall and therefore never really had the option of completely hiding their feelings. I’m seeing the water in the background of the 5 of Cups being the “unintentionally expressed” emotions flowing out of their space and into the intersecting area of The Empress. Jimin’s energy is that open space for others to express into, as well as his energy of The Sun when he talks back, all of that comes together to create The Empress. They both become The Empress when they are expressing emotionally to each other, which would imply that their feelings become something that develops, seeds that get planted, perhaps inspiration for creative work as Jimin is an artist.

For both, The Empress becomes an illuminated place, a very healing place, and it’s something they can only create with each other. This person’s Water or unyielding emotion meeting Jimin’s Fire or illuminating Sun and expression, mixes in with the other person’s foundational Earth energy and Jimin’s foundational Air energy, and they just… create a whole world? Create a garden?? It’s a garden of personal manifestation fueled by their emotional expression and alchemical processing of their own feelings through each other. It’s their world, where reality can literally be altered at their command, but it's held within the other person. Like what the fuck??

JIMIN’S ENERGETIC PROJECTION: THE FOOL

THE OTHER’S ENERGETIC PROJECTION: 5 OF PENTACLES

They’re so annoying. Jimin’s energetic projection is The Fool, which is playing into The Sun as well as The Eternal Child. The other person’s energetic projection has nothing to do with the meaning of the 5 of Pentacles, but has everything to do with the imagery where we can see the golden light shining through a window in the wall that appears to be separating The Fool, in his bright and warm environment, from the cold darkness outside.

This is showing Jimin’s energy and the other person’s energy surrounding him. It's that wall-building shenanigans, but here it is for the sake of protection, however, there is a bit of a heavier sense to it where it feels a bit over-protective which is what I’m getting when focusing on the people passing by the window in the image. When I look at them, it’s like the wall gets darker, it gets heavier, more intimidating. It’s making me feel a bit like that little white dog in the image of The Fool turns into a vicious Rottweiler and starts barking at them — “You’re too close! Get away!” This other person may just be a wee bit territorial in general, and a bit overprotective when it comes to Jimin actually stepping out and expressing himself through his inner child or sharing more personal elements in his artistry.

HOW JIMIN SEES THE OTHER PERSON: EXCHANGING GIFTS + QUEEN OF WANDS

HOW THE OTHER PERSON SEES JIMIN: SERENDIPITY + TEN OF CUPS

HOW JIMIN RECEIVES THE OTHER PERSON: ORGANIZATION

HOW THE OTHER PERSON RECEIVES JIMIN: EXTREMISM

With Exchanging Gifts, Jimin sees this other person very clearly as an equal, as a counterpart, but one where, as he is very aware, the other completes him, fills in gaps, or makes up for what he lacks within himself. He sees himself as offering the same sort of fillers or compensating elements. In this way, he sees and appreciates the elements of advancement, expansion, and development that this person has brought to him. I’m seeing it quite literally playing out in the image of Exchanging Gifts where Jimin is the fairy being brought out of the box, the cat being the other person who took the lid off in the first place, was the first to show Jimin that he is a gift, a prize, something special to be admired. Jimin holds onto this image or sense of self through this other person.

With the Queen of Wands, Jimin sees this person as quite a commanding energy, just a little bit softer than the King of Wands. Very in charge, maybe a bit temperamental or stubborn, but very clean with their actions and words, very deliberate. I think this is the energy of The Magician coming through here, but personified more and attached to other elements of this person’s personality.

The other person sees Jimin as Serendipity, and just the same as Exchanging Gifts, I’m seeing the image play out in an interesting and overlapping way. The other person is the fairy in the image and Jimin is the four-leaf clover and the wind that carries this person up and away. This seems to be representing rapid development, advancement, and progress that this person would attribute to Jimin’s influence or guidance.

With the 10 of Cups, this person is seeing Jimin as “the one” completely and totally. The 10 of Cups is deep emotional fulfilment, something that is registering here as the moment when all the pieces fall into place and everything feels right. It’s connecting back to this person’s soul’s focus on Never-Ending Story and Soul Mates — the 10 of Cups is signifying the end of that story, the end of their separation, the complete state of their union.

It’s showing that this person sees Jimin as the final piece of everything, the final piece of every area of their life. It’s quite overwhelming, honestly. Like, when I focus in on this energy, it feels a bit suffocating with a certain level of anxiety, which may connect over to the Extremism card, where it feels like this person will not be fully at ease until they’re married and the whole world knows about it. There’s always a chance of something happening or Jimin slipping away until the whole world can see that Jimin belongs to them. Everything will feel just a bit unstable until they can have that last piece that would solidify their union.

Jimin receives the other person through Organization, which is associated with Mercury in Capricorn, while the other person receives Jimin through Extremism, which is associated with Mercury in Scorpio. So, obviously, first and foremost, they receive each other through the mind, through communication, with Mercury, which makes sense. Their open doorway to each other begins at their mouths and how they choose to speak to each other.

Jimin’s reception, however, is a bit more methodical, careful, almost like he is or at one point was questioning or very careful about how he took things in from this other person. That may go back to the element of shock or confusion when the other person started to show up inside the glass dome, and started to reciprocate his feelings. It’s just more careful and, going back to things like Poised and Fork In The Road, Organization does seem to have room for concern regarding other people. There’s a carefulness to it because Jimin is more aware of people watching or paying attention to how they talk to each other, or how they express themselves. This is making me think of something where Jimin is very careful about what he SAYS but he could slip up when it comes to what he does, especially when you consider that body language starts to scream when someone is very focused on what’s coming out of their own mouth.

The other person receiving Jimin through Extremism is so funny, because they’re not receiving Jimin, they’re running across the line and establishing connection with him constantly. It’s like this person does NOT sit around and wait for Jimin to come to them, they already did that during the “Jimin is a bird singing in a tree” era, and now they’re like constantly plugging in. They’re constantly trying to talk to Jimin, trying to get Jimin’s attention. Like, if this was anyone else in the world, any other situation, I’d be like, this is TOXIC, this person is OBSESSED, this person is trying to HOARD Jimin and keep him all to themself… but then I think about how Jimin is sooooo into that, and then I’m like, no yeah, this is obviously one of his favorite things about this person, their OBSESSION with him.

I think Jimin is more than happy to be constantly engaged with this person, and the only bit of frustration that could come out of this is if this person were to do or say something that throws off his own effort to keep things filtered or secret.

As a side note, there’s a pattern between the cards where, on Jimin’s side, the Queen of Wands and the Exchanging Gifts cards feature a cat, and on the other person’s side, the Extremism card and the 10 of Cups feature birds. As I’m seeing it, the other person’s energy is with the cats while Jimin’s energy is with the birds. I have no idea what that is actually supposed to mean, but it kept coming up as I was looking at the cards. It doesn’t seem to be anything significant, but it’s prominent enough that I want to mention it.

WHERE AND HOW THEY COME INTO UNION IN THE PHYSICAL SPACE:

THE RING + 10 OF PENTACLES + PERCEPTION + LOVE + THE MAGICIAN + ACE OF WANDS + WHEEL OF FORTUNE

This is centered as the most physical aspect of the reading, connecting to where and how these two will come together, and what has the potential to stem from that union. There is a big highlight on The Ring with the 10 of Pentacles, which goes back to the other person’s 10 of Cups, suggesting that they will not consider themselves “complete” until they are able to get married and have some kind of externalized symbol of their commitment to each other. Their words and their emotions are deeply connected, they are very secure within this connection, however, they both (but especially the other person) really want to be able to show it, for it to be confirmed outside. The same way they don’t question their connection, they don’t want anyone else to be able to question it either.

On the surface, it can register as being territorial and just wanting to put a ring on it so everyone knows they’re both taken, but deep down, it’s way more than that. It validates for them something that goes well beyond a superficial claim over each other. It’s a confirmation, a demonstration of their love for each other. And with the 10 of Pentacles, it is suggesting that one-and-done deal, they want it locked in, and they both want it to last forever, they want to grow old together.

The elements of Perception and Love seem to ring true to that consideration for the outside world, for people around them, for the public — the perception of their love through the eyes of other people. It’s not 100% perfect for either of them until EVERYONE is on the same page. I feel so scrambled with this, like my brain is getting pulled in a bunch of directions because they both have the same thoughts and feelings about it, but it’s sort of like they split in how it is delivered. Like, Jimin’s energy comes up from the ground, like he’s offering or suggesting this connection to the world, it’s quieter. Then the other person is coming down from the sky, dropping things in a very loud and heavy way. Jimin is asking a question, asking for permission to make this connection known, while the other person is stomping around demanding that it be known, drawing as much attention as they can to it.

Finally, at the very bottom, there is an interesting progression where we see The Magician become the Ace of Wands, or acquire the Ace of Wands, through the Wheel of Fortune. There is something there about acquiring a certain level of power, or authority, something that feels very much like an element of soul integration where the conscious level has done so much or progressed so much that the soul steps in, integrates, and suddenly even more blessings, more joy, more positive progression occurs.

I’m seeing it as The Magician working, putting things together, trying to make this happen, and then something finally clicks when The Ring is brought in, when that final element of union is made visible and known. Things progress rapidly, and the Ace of Wands suggests a whole new level of power, a whole new level of expression, and just something that is somewhat incomprehensible to me right now. It’s something that “goes off the charts,” it’s beyond the imagination what this would mean for them and what it would turn into going forward.

That’s all I have for this one, thanks for reading! :)

XXXX

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[aleskyyy]

The Quiet Between Blows I — Geum Seongje x reader

He doesn’t speak unless he means to hurt. You don’t run when you should. In a city of silence, bruises, and quiet wars, you become the one thing Geum Seongje can't control.

A dark romance about obsession, restraint, and the softest kind of ruin.

Warnings— female!reader, emotional intensity, obsession, violence & physical fights, emotional vulnerability, implied sexual content (non-explicit), power dynamic, mild language, suggestive dialogue, dark romance MDNI 18+.

Main Masterlist WHC Masterlist

Chapter Two

The rain came down like it hated the world. Hard and unforgiving, it soaked the rooftop in a gray sheen, pocking puddles with sharp splashes. You stood near the ledge, hands gripping the cold railing, your school jacket heavy with rain and regret.

You shouldn't be here.

Not alone. Not after hours. Not with the bruises still fresh beneath your sleeves.

But it had become a habit—to disappear to the rooftop when the world pressed too close, when the silence of your house felt heavier than any punch, and when even your own reflection seemed like a stranger.

You didn’t expect to see him.

Not Geum Seongje.

He was sitting on the bench like he belonged there. Like the rain wasn’t soaking him, like he didn’t care about rules or visibility or being caught. His posture was perfectly still, back straight, one leg stretched out lazily like he had nothing better to do than intimidate the storm itself.

His uniform clung to his frame, and you could see how broad his shoulders were. His hair was slicked back by the rain, revealing sharp cheekbones, a deep cut on his lip, and eyes that didn’t blink when they landed on you.

You froze.

And so did he—just for a breath, like a predator registering movement.

“Didn’t think anyone else came up here,” you said, your voice quiet, testing.

He didn’t answer. Of course he didn’t. Everyone knew Seongje didn’t speak unless it was with his fists—or when Baek Jin gave the nod.

But he didn’t get up either. Didn’t glare. Just… watched.

You looked away, lips tightening. “I can go.”

“No.”

That single word landed harder than it should have. You turned your gaze back to him. His voice was low, rough, like it had to break through layers of silence to get out.

You waited for more, but he’d already looked away again, the moment gone.

They said Geum Seongje once broke a boy’s jaw for spitting near Baek Jin. That he’d put someone in the hospital for bumping into him without apologizing. That he didn’t feel anything—no anger, no mercy.

You didn’t know if the stories were true, but you knew he wasn’t normal.

He walked the halls of Ganghak High like a ghost bound in muscle and silence. Everyone moved out of his way. Teachers didn’t make eye contact. Even other gang members gave him space.

But that afternoon, he let you sit on the bench beside him.

Neither of you spoke. The rain soaked through everything. Your thighs were pressed close, your elbow barely brushing his—but it felt like sitting next to a loaded gun.

Still, something about it made you feel… safe. Or maybe bold.

“You always come up here?” you asked.

Seongje didn’t answer. But he didn’t move either. You glanced at him from the corner of your eye.

There was something terrifyingly still about him. His breathing barely moved his chest. His knuckles were red. His left hand, you noticed, was clenched so tightly the skin had gone white.

“Rough day?” you offered.

That earned a glance. He looked at you like you were a puzzle someone had tossed at his feet—unwanted but suddenly interesting.

You were used to being invisible. To fading into background noise. But Seongje was looking at you now, and there was nothing casual about it.

When you stopped talking. And he… softened? No. Not quite. But the cold edge of him seemed to retreat just an inch.

The rain slowed to a drizzle.

“I come up here,” he said suddenly, “when I don’t want to break things.”

Your breath caught. You looked at him, but he didn’t look at you. Just stared out at the city through the bars of the rooftop rail.

“Me too,” you said.

And for the first time, he nodded.

© 2025 aleskyyy

[shizuturnspages]

Hiii in honour of his birthday i wanted to ask how do you think Diluc shows his devotion for his partner? like I have always saw him as very protective because of how the other important relationships in his life went but how would he show them he loved them before and during the relationship? get to this when you can much love! (˶ˆᗜˆ˵)

Hi hi! What a lovely ask in honour of his birthday (ik I'm late)🥺🎂 I absolutely agree with your read on Diluc. His love is steeped in quiet, steadfast devotion, sharpened by a life of loss. Here's how I think he shows it — both before and during the relationship — with that signature broody warmth he does so well:

How He Shows Devotion

“You are the only part of my life I’ve never considered a duty.”

✦ Before the Relationship: Watching From the Shadows

Before love becomes tangible, Diluc protects from afar. He doesn’t believe he deserves love easily — not after failing to protect his father, or losing Kaeya to secrets and distance. So his devotion begins in secret.

❥ He notices the small things. Your favourite tea blend, how you always wear gloves even in summer, the way you hum when you’re nervous. These details become part of his routine without you realising — a spare glove placed beside your seat at the tavern, a delivery of your favourite blend “accidentally misdelivered” to you.

❥ He shows up without asking. You’re walking home late at night? He happens to be patrolling that exact route. Trouble on a commission? A shadow crosses your path and the fight ends before you can even raise your blade. He never asks for thanks. He doesn't want praise — just to make sure you’re okay.

❥ He pushes you away when his feelings get too real. He’s terrified that loving you might put you in danger. So he grows colder. Distant. You might even think he dislikes you for a time. But it’s not hate. It’s fear. Fear of ruining the one good thing he hasn’t already lost.

✦ During the Relationship: Steadfast and Protective

Once you’re together — once you choose him — that’s when the floodgates open.

❥ You become his priority. Every decision he makes — in business, in battle, even in his private time — is filtered through the thought: “Will this keep them safe? Will this help them smile?” You never have to ask for protection. He’s already planning ten steps ahead to ensure you never have to lift a finger.

❥ He shows love through action, not words. Breakfast on the table before you wake. A cloak draped over your shoulders the second the temperature drops. Freshly oiled weapons, repaired gear. He may not say “I love you” often, but every gesture says it in a hundred different ways.

❥ He worries. Constantly. He’s lost too much. So when you’re gone too long, or injured, or emotionally distant, he spirals a bit. He won’t say it, but you’ll find him staring at the fire with white knuckles, or cleaning his claymore long past midnight to keep his hands busy.

❥ He softens only for you. With others, he’s all quiet command and sharpened edges. But you? You get the real Diluc. The one who listens intently to your dreams. Who holds your hand in silence after a long day. Who closes his eyes and rests his forehead against yours like it’s the only place in Teyvat that feels like home.

❥ He lets you in. Slowly. Carefully. But eventually, you’re the only one he shares everything with — the truth about his father, his bitterness toward the Knights, the weight he’s carried all these years. You become his anchor. His equal. His safe place.

Diluc doesn’t love recklessly. He loves with intention — with the kind of loyalty that doesn't falter even when you fight, when things get hard, when he feels unworthy.

Because when Diluc chooses to love you, it means forever.

[multiheadcanons]

MERCS AT THEIR BEST!

scout: a truly sweet, well meaning guy with a streak of backing up his shit talking. scout always comes off as cocky, it’s about whether he can prove that he deserves the bragging rights. and when he can, it is difficult to not see scout in a different light. he is capable, he is crafty, he’s resourceful, and social, and depending on the group a vital member of maintaining peace in any working unit. the same way he can be the mediator is the same way he can be an instigator. scout does not know what a bad plan is. all he knows is detours and side quests. and god, is he the funniest guy you’ll ever meet.

soldier: nobody could say that this man is not one of the most committed, steadfast, vitriolically loyal men you’ll ever meet in your life. and he’s stupid. that is like a blank canvas. if you confuse him enough but make your idea sound good enough to try, he’s there. hell, if you’re honest enough to tell him you have the worst idea known to man he’s alert and listening. its hard to use the word accepting, but he certainly is more open to hearing people out than it seems! you just have to stay away from buzzwords. it is also very easy to enforce boundaries with him, because he is thick skinned. so you can be mean to him if you want to, he’ll still listen! he might even like it!

pyro: pyro is a heart stealer. they’re just so nice. they are genuinely the nicest mercenary on the team. they are giving, and happy to share. and that’s everything. they are willing to give their time, money, attention, and support to anyone who may beckon for them. they’re truly just so kind, and supportive, and so, so loving. and they’ll sneak up on you! you don’t realize how badly you want them around until their attention is called elsewhere.

demo: tavish is truly a light everywhere he goes. he is explosive, he is vibrant, he is a hearty hunk of pot roast with an extra helping of mash potatoes. and not the shitty instant mash either, the kind that has an entire cow’s worth of butter and the dead sea’s salt put into it that then has been beaten to a bloody pulp, but the potatoes are so tender that the small pieces left just melt in your mouth. this man is filling, and warm, and comforting. he may not be able to be everything, but what he is is so far past a treat. and he is hard to hate, on any given day.

heavy: heavy is wonderful because he doesn’t realize how wonderful he truly is. he’s too busy taking care of himself, and his family, and his team, that he doesn’t have time to pat himself on the back. it makes him a man you almost feel bad depending on; and it makes him feel bad to have cheerleaders. he sees what he does as him taking care of the responsibilities he has as a man— to his family and his team. and through his dedication, he’s quite the comic. and he doesn’t realize how funny he truly is. he just knows he makes himself laugh. which makes him look so handsome. even catching him snickering to himself. he’s so handsome when he’s in a good mood… and if he likes you, his generally easygoing manner is lovely to include on a bad plan.

engineer: ugh, he’s so charming it’s annoying. but it’s only annoying when he’s not being charming towards you. dell can make anyone jealous with the intensity of his attention. his ability to make people feel like the only one in the world is cherished and vied for. and he’s so damn smart. there really is no outsmarting him, outwitting him, outpacing him, he has most everyone beat by a mile. stupidly intelligent, well humored, and a master of the southern charm and hospitality, engineer has never made an enemy in his life unless he wanted it.

medic: a wonderfully sharp man! quick witted, mentally flexible, and a lovely sight to see! personable, and warm, and intoxicating; humorous! he’s a wonderful man to have for backup— there is no such thing as a stupid question or a bad plan. he will be there for it! always down for a good time, even better suited for a bad time, the doctor never skips a beat. there is no such thing as impeding on him, a CAT steamroller would crumble to dust at his sideways glance. nobody could ever affect him in such a manner that he would ever minimize himself. collected, confident, and content with his life’s achievements; good and bad. and quite the social butterfly! the man could hold a conversation with a brick if it didn’t go anywhere.

sniper: what a gem of a man. dependable, reliable, and confident in his own quiet way; witnessing sniper in action is like witnessing an apex predator. he’s perceptive, he’s calculating, and with all of it he is a wild beast who graces humanity with his gifts. it’s lovely to share a moment of silence with him, he just exudes a relaxed energy. and he’s humble. he won’t claim he knows everything, but what he does know is irrefutable. another man who knows who he is, what he’s here for, and how he’s supposed to get there. sniper doesn’t question himself or his methods. they are tried and true. and he’s the best there is at them. and he doesn’t have to tell you that. just watch!

spy: this is a man who can do. it. all. he can be everything and is a little something to everyone. obscenely flexible, and adept in any social circle; the man’s saving grace is his ability to blend in and stand out in the same manners as one would cook an egg. nobody realizes how much this man does because he makes it look easy. and if you ask him, it is easy. he could finish this war alone, if he were allowed. it almost makes him feel like they keep him running so he can’t. efficient, professional, and quite handsome! spy is genuinely a man at his best in his most candid moments, where he won’t immediately notice your stare of awe. and when he doesn’t want to revel in it, he brushes compliments off so quickly that you could even argue he’s humble. he’s not just good, he’s phenomenal. it just happens to be his job.