#Hard to pick there are so many characters 8’U

[chika-nyan]

Wooo finally got all the currently available (alts not included 8U) 十二天将 zodiac girls (/ o v o)/ 9/12. 3 more to be released for them to be complete and points Andira (monkey) is there twice because I have her summer alt 8U)b

[synthbug]

Anyone can join in if they want to ^_^

tagged by @hyenagirlbulge smile

Challenge: make a poll with five of your all time favorite characters, and then tag five people to do the same. See which character is everyone's favorite!

i tag ummmm . @calabrithedragon @chihirolovebot @nexfarious @enby-berries do it if you want : )

[etirabys]

meandering post about reading Orson Scott Card again

I've been offline starting at 9pm every day (except once. I was drunk at karaoke and asked for anons at 8:30pm) for six weeks, with the result that in befuddled boredom two nights ago I picked up Orson Scott Card's Songmaster from the house bookshelf.

I read Ender's Game and three sequels when I was a teen thought the books were mid. Since those are OSC's best works I assumed he had nothing more interesting to offer me and didn't try more of him for fifteen years, but Songmaster was compelling enough that I immediately afterwards picked up The Memory of Earth, the first book of a pentalogy.

TMoE is extremely my jam: after humanity blows itself up on Earth, AIs monitor thriving human civilizations in the planets that survivors managed to escape to, and suppress any tech that enables large scale violence by exerting low key mind control via satellites. But forty million years pass, many of the satellites break down, and the AI needs help from humans to restore capabilities. Because as its control wanes, people are starting to e.g. conceive of airplanes or bombs again, and override the injunctions against entering military alliances more than two edges of connection away.

The AI is worshipped as a god all over the planet, but the fourteen year old protagonist that becomes one of the AI's agents tells the AI from the beginning that he'll break with it if its morality seems wrong to him. I like the fourteen year old – unlike Ender or Songmaster's protagonist (adult minds piloting ten year old bodies), he's a normal gifted kid who's unpopular 50% due to his ego and big mouth and 50% because he's socially inept and offends people even when he's trying to be nice.

Songmaster is also partly about a permanent solution to large-scale violence, albeit through one guy who establishes a monopoly on violence and sweeps in pax galactica. Both it and TMoE are preoccupied with the eradication of suffering from evil / human violence, which is closer to my resonant frequency than narratives about defeating particular people or ideologies. At the moment I can't think of any other book with such an insistent focus on the matter than T.H. White's The Once and Future King. It's hard to make a compelling story out of, and I don't think Songmaster really succeeds, but TMoE's premise is well suited to explore that. (I'm also enjoying the matriarchal culture where everyone is expected to have multiple serial-monogamous marriages.) After reading 70% of TMoE last night I wrote:

Usually when I read fiction there's a small part of me going, how can I use this as fodder for my own growth, how can I remix or improve or react against this, how do the author and I measure against each other? (If the quality and content are at an anti-sweet spot, the small part becomes quite large and I feel all teeth towards the author.) But on occasion I read something so close that the absence of that measuring-feeling is its own sensation – ego departs, or at least is split across two bodies. There's just amity and recognition

And it's pretty interesting to feel this way about Card for, well, the reasons.

(If you're familiar with Card drama none of the following will be new to you; I'm coming to it fresh so the rest of this post is me going "uh... wow")

I vaguely knew he was a homophobic Mormon who'd gotten into fights about gay stuff, but I couldn't tell from the Ender books I read. But in Songmaster his issues spring off the page in such a weird way. Every fifth Goodreads review of this book is "Card, u gay?" because, well,

(One review, possibly from a fellow Mormon, that went "Card, it's so sinful of you to be this gay in your novel". Why did he write this book that would predictably make everyone mad...)

it's full of gay male desire. The protagonist (Ansset) is approximately a castrato and characters notice him sexually a lot. The first and only time Ansset has sex it's with a Kinsey 4-5 male character he loves, who's married to a woman but has fallen in love with Ansset. It turns out the drugs Ansset took to prolong his singing career painfully and only-kinda-figuratively explode your balls when you have your first orgasm and you'll never feel sexual desire again. (You'd think his loving teachers would have warned him of that, but, whatever, they didn't.) The other guy is literally castrated in punishment for inadvertently torturing a highly valuable castrato. It's pretty bald: GAY SEX IS ALMOST IRRESISTIBLY TEMPTING BUT YOU SHOULDN'T DO IT.

(Sidenote: both Ansset and the guy's wife are very close and have a "there's enough love to go around" attitude about the gay sex initially, before they go "wait Josif is a SERIAL MONOGAMIST... he can only love one person at a time... the moment he had the gay sex his marriage was destroyed". It's funny in a mildly stupid way that Card would set up this parable of homosexuality destroying lives and a marriage but almost everyone involved is peacefully ready to sail into an open marriage. I guess it makes sense if you want to say very clearly that THE GAY PART IS THE BAD PART)

which is fascinating to me, because... why would you tell on yourself like that

(81k also told me secondhand of an essay? interview? where Card openly says "we have to stand against legalizing gay marriage because everyone will get gay married and society will collapse", so that's informing my read of Songmaster as well)

I am pretty dang open about my personal life online but if I had a lot of feelings I thought were disgusting and immoral I would not write a novel dripping with those feelings before pointedly castrating the leads for them. Especially if it wasn't relevant to the actually highbrow themes of (checks notes) winning over your adversaries with kindness and never relinquishing your monopoly on violence. I would be so so so so embarrassed to let this go to print, it's so psychologically transparent, what was he thinking

(Well, I assume he's a very different person with different social incentives. For all I know, people in his church went "hey Orson we read your book and it's clear that you're gay but signaling strongly that you won't give into the gay feelings, we're here for you, it was really brave of you to publish this".)

[okkalo]

blue lock boys doing your makeup trend

characters: rin, yukimiya, shidou, isagi, chigiri

warnings: shidou 😟😟, cuss words

rin

- he’s trying.

- his focused face makes him look like he knows what he’s doing.

- he doesn’t.

- if you record he is literally glaring at the camera the whole time.

- names products by how they look. meaning u will NOT get the actual name out of him. (he knows blush and mascara though!!)

- “this is the brown liquid” (ur getting there!!)

- skips the primer.

- if u have multiple foundation colors he gets so confused why one doesn’t match 💀

- “the hell is this?” THE FACE HE MAKES TOO??

- puts on too much blush and just stares in wonder of what he did wrong.

- that or he applies the blush as lipstick

- he applies your lipstick (or i guess blush) weird?? makes you pucker your lips to do it LOL

- forces you to do your eyeliner and mascara because he doesn’t want to hurt you </3

- probably mumbles under his breath the whole time about how stuff isn’t working how it should

- giggle at him and he will give you a look and just leave.

- the finished look was a 6/10

isagi

- he’s trying but nicer.

- i can see him having no sense of color theory whatsoever so your eyeshadow and lipstick look HORRIBLE together

- probably this bright purple eyeshadow with a bright red lipstick

- he doesn’t forget anything though!!

- puts the concealer in all the wrong spots. he thinks it should go where the contour goes

- another guy to use blush as lipstick

- “that’s not right” at least he knows

- will do your eyeliner wing (which turned out to be horrible) but completely avoids your waterline

- avoids the mascara but watches in amazement as you curl your eyelashes

- gives you so many kisses throughout

- the finished look was a 3/10 😔

yukimiya

- he’s the best out of everyone because he actually knows what he’s doing.

- he might confuse the names at some point but is quick to fix his mistake.

- sososo gentle when applying products to your face too!

- he smiles so big once he sees you close your eyes at his light touch

- probably uses the wrong brushes </3

- goes down to your neck with your foundation!!

- does your eyeliner but doesn’t do your lashes (the wing is a 8/10)

- tries so hard on the eyeshadow but it just doesn’t work

- pretty colors but horrible with knowing where to stop (he went to your brows with it </3)

- he muttered a lot of soft “oops” during this time no doubt

- also gives a lot of kisses during this time

- actually so proud once he finishes it though

- compliment his abilities!!

- 9.1/10

shidou

- idk why u wanted him to do this.

- he’s literally making you look like a clown

- makes a mess of your makeup and does not care.

- probably super good at makeup too but just wants to be an asshole

- puts SO MUCH foundation on you. you are literally caked

- puts so much bronzer on too and swipes it in all the wrong directions

- a lot of product got in your nose because he gave that area a lot of attention

- absolutely went crazy with the blush. it is everywhere on your cheek.

- the same with highlighter.

- goes crazy with the setting powder as well. you both sneezed multiple times

- picks bright blue eyeshadow and goes way too far with it

- he was fr about to do your eyeliner and lashes (don’t let him. he will twitch during this time and i know it.)

- takes SO many pictures of you

- makes a video of you with the clown music in the background 💀

- 0/10. rethink ur decisions.

chigiri

- “stay still” x10.

- is good at makeup and knows what everything is but god forbid you move an inch. he literally told you to stop breathing once like??

- if you try to be funny and move your head to the side while he’s putting stuff on he will immediately stop and just give you a stare. no words to be said. he just stares. it’s not a nice stare either </3

- if you get distracted and look away while he’s getting a product he will yank your head back to the position he so desires.

- you’re actually kinda impressed with how well the makeup turns out.

- it’s a strong 8.5/10, he messed up the eyeliner and lipstick part (“maybe stay still next time”).

- will absolutely squish your cheeks and make you pucker your lips to kiss him at the end.

unedited thanks for reading!

[joapmactavish]

hihi! i saw your requests open, so could i request soap, gaz, and ghost (separate) trying to deescalate the reader who's been crying and on the verge of a panic attack because the work stress has been getting to them.

if that's too many characters, feel free to choose one of the three!

apologies for the sad scenario. i had a rough week (´；ω；｀)

first off, im so sorry you’ve had a rough week, know that it’ll get better dude! confide in someone you trust if possible, you’re going to be ok 🫶🏻 - comments are appreciated <3

Soap

he walks into you at your desk, sitting in your chair with your arms wrapped around your legs while tears are streaming down your face. his smile immediately turns into a frown, and he walks over to you.

“oh no sunshine, what happened to ya?” he pets your head a bit and tilts your chin up toward to face him.

“it’s just been so hard soap, im trying my best every single day and yet it keeps piling up. i finish one thing and i’m already handed 4 more, i can’t do it- i can’t!” your chest starts picking up fast and you feel your breathing become shortened.

“woah woah, easy there lass you’re gonna overwhelm your system. take some deep breaths with me yeah?” he grabs your hand and puts it on his heart so you can feel his heart beat, “breathe in, 1-2-3-4. hold. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7, out for 8 alright?”

you repeat that pattern with his help about 6 more times and you start to feel less tense.

“relax, im right here with you. ease your shoulders, relax your neck and unscrunch yer eyebrows.” you follow the steps and he smiles, “that feel a little better hm?”

you nod and he takes you into his arms. he grabs his phone from his back pocket, dialing a number. you hear the ringing and when you hear the name of your favorite restaurant in the greeting you beam up a bit

“can i get uh one cheeseburger - no onions! and eh… let me have a diet coke with it would ya? thanks mate” he covers the phone with his free hand, “you want the usual?” you nod and he orders your usual order. “let me also get one of those ah.. what do ya call em?” he snaps his fingers “those ice cream sundaes, yeah extra whipped cream! that’ll be all.”

“should be here in about 15 or so bonnie, ya feelin a bit better?”

you nod and he sighs in relief, “you need a break, im callin yer boss tomorrow mornin - who cares if i’ve got to lie you’re getting a week off and we’re spendin it together! no work, we can even get out of here if you want.”

“i can’t just leave work like that johnny-“

“ah ah! nonsense, i’ll make it happen.”

you don’t protest against him but rather just accept it and wait for your food to arrive with him.

Gaz

“hey love! what’s u- oh no..” he stops in his tracks and finally hears your crying and heavy breathing.

he quickly moves to where you are and wraps his arms around you - squeezing a bit and pulling you in. the scent of his cologne helps your mind start to slow down.

“easy now, what’s wrong?” he pulls back and searches your face for an answer.

you look down and explain how work has been stressing you out, “i’m so tired gaz, i work all the time without any breaks and it seems like my efforts get me no where. i don’t even feel like i can stop because anytime that i do it just racks up. i know you work a lot and never complain ,i shouldn’t even be making this scene.”

“hey hey… none of that, yeah?” he boops your nose lightly and you smile a bit which makes him smile also, “there’s my sweetheart, cmere. just because i work a lot doesn’t mean you don’t too love, and i want you to know we don’t ever have to compare ourselves - we both have challenges.” you nod your head and he nods back.

- “how about you take the rest of this week off? i know your boss wouldn’t bother letting you go - you’re her best worker! call in tomorrow and we can focus on you.”

(or, alternatively if you’re a student! :>)

- “how about this week you just go in tomorrow, then take the rest of the week off. i know you’ll have to email your profs but your health comes first - yes even mentally. you’re a hard worker and you’ll be able to catch up before winter break love - but what i’m seeing now? you’re going to burn out if you don’t take this break.”

you listen to him and take the break, spending some days alone with him and he even messages his captain that he’s got to keep his eye on you.

“cap sends his best love, we all care about you.”

Simon/Ghost

unlike the other guys, ghost catches on quickly that you’ve been feeling upset. as someone who has his own internal battles, he recognizes easily when someone is fighting theirs. in fact, the night before he sees you rub your temples in frustration before slamming your laptop shut, he doesn’t have a huge reaction because he doesn’t want you to feel embarrassed or upset - instead he minds his business and waits for you to be ready.

although, when the next day rolls by he sees you on the verge of a panic when your whole assignment/document completely vanishes after hours of work. at this point you’re bawling your eyes out and he can hear from his office so he quickly gets up to check on you.

“you alright in here?” he asks, keeping a bit of distance not wanting to intrude on you even though you’ve told him before that he isn’t pushing your boundaries, he prefers to tread lightly and respect your space.

you explain to him what’s happened, or what’s been happening for that matter. not only did your work just vanish out of thin air on your laptop, the workload you’ve received has been insufferable.

you’re the one who initiates seeking him out and that’s when he fully goes to you with a warm embrace, hand on the back of your head holding you softly. “it’ll be alright, i’ll ask one of the guys to help you get that work back love.”

“i’ve been feeling terrible simon, i know i don’t say anything but i think i might just explode - or i kinda have.. haven’t i.” he chuckles a bit and sighs, “i noticed but i didn’t want to make you upset by bringing it up. you’ve gotta be easier on yourself, you do a lot and even though you might not have all your work done by tomorrow you need to take a break for your well being. not for me, for you. promise me a you’ll take a break?”

you nod, “good. i’m glad you’re listening to me for once.”

“hey i do listen to you! when i want to!” you say with a sniffle.

he laughs and holds you a bit tighter, he won’t let you go through this alone. you’re gonna spend the next few days just with him - relaxing till you’re feeling better.

-

I HOPE THIS IS ALRIGHT! thank you so much for the first ask <3 im not like a writer of any sorts but i did try :) i hope you enjoy 🫶🏻

[zishu-arts]

1. What's ur fav avm ep? Or generally ava ep

2. What's ur fav short?

3. And favorite character? Why is that your favorite character?

4. Do u kin anyone? Why?

5. What are your thoughts on King Orange? Personally, I do love the character but I wanna see some controversy. He was forgiven too easily. Do you think that he's affected by immense guilt of his actions? Pls go in detail as much as you wish

6. What are your favorite (hc or not) relationships? Doesn't need to be romantic. Do you have thoughts on relationships between characters that haven't interacted? Or some hc on characters that did (example: I love the hc on Purple and Red hanging out so often that Red goes to visit Purple for advice on PRANKS out of all things)

If I think of something more, I'll send it through!!

1). i dont think i can pick a favorite since there's so many but i love rewatching Lush Caves, Ultimate Minecart Race, The Chef, The Ultimate Weapon (and honestly just the entire KO arc lmfao). For AVA its gotta be The Showdown it's just SOOO GOOD the animation, the concepts, the plot, ahhhh

2). hard once again, but Music Lesson is so goddamn funny

3). THE DARK LORD THE DARK LORD THE DARK LORD (red is my second favorite tho). okay so, honestly it's just the amount of potential and trauma i could give him. i love his character and lore like, the idea of the Mission Code. what does it mean that you've been created for the sole purpose to destroy, and what does it mean that the person you're made to destory become your best friend? like, the existance of that code brings up so much potential and you could literally take it in so many ways. and like, just the story of cho and dark being two people who were coded for a purpose and run away. what...happens to that purpose? what are you supposed to do now? it's very "what am i if not a weapon?" "yourself. isn't that a wonderful person to be?" (i also dont remember where this quote is from). and also, i look at this little bastard and i think ah yes, he is a goddamn maniac. absolutely insane. i can make him as unhinged as possible and i think that's amazing.

i also think it's great that it's so easy for me to just do whatever i want with him like he's some dress up doll. i've got a genderbent version of him. i've got him with ADHD. i've got him with autism. i've got him trans. he's depressd. he has anxiety. he's in love. there's no saving him.

i also like that like. he's dead. he might not be dead. who fucking knows? and he's such an interesting character, is he evil, is he nice, does he care, what does he like? i want to know everything about him and i want to squish him like a little ball

(i alos like that he's very easy to self project into)

4). hmmmm honestly? i only ever kinned like one character (yuki from horimiya) so im not too familiar with actually kinning. if i had to pick, probably red, mostly cause i see him as a hyper possibly ADHD guy who's always running head first into situations without a thought and think damn he's jus tlike me fr

5). KO/MANGO TALK LETS GO !! you're def right, he was forigven too soon, but i like to think or hope that they at least had a bit of bonding. okay well first off i want to start off with: i see a lot of content where we view mango as like around 20 years old which i want to immedately have on the table: what do you mean 20 years old. he's got a goddamn kid that seems to be maybe 8-10, he's got to be at least reaching 40 by the time we actually see him in AVM. and no, 40 is not too old, they can still do backflips and fight ppl (as long as mango maintained a healthy lifestyle with daily exercise, healthy diet, and good sleep).

i love the fact that he went evil because he lost his son, and that he got lost in his anger and started hurting everyone around him. although i do think his and purple's relationship could do with A LOTT of work. their trust was broken over and over again (mostly on purple's end) and im not sure mango particularily remembers how to treat a child well. and did mango ever like,,,yk,,,properly grieve for his son? for all we know, he went home the same day he lost gold, punched his wall a lot, then went straight to working on the staff. now that he doesn't have that drive anymore, i think that's all going to catch up to him. he really needs to properly grieve and mourn and recover before he goes about doing anything else.

he can, in fact however, be a good person/father as long as he's got that under the belt. (which you could def see that he was pretty swag when he still had gold). i personally see him as a raspy and gruff guy so he's also a man of very few words. that also means he probably has a buttload of communcation issues that is gonna affect his relationship with other people. he has got A LOT to work on

i also want to mention how i don't particulary enjoy the "overprotective father that trails their child everywhere". i don't think a lot of people view mano this way either, but i just want it on the table that even though mango would definitely be protective of purple, he won't be weird about it

6). ohhhh okay okay if you've read my fics you know i am in love with the "siblings victim & dark" as well as "siblings chosen and second". i feel like vic and dark are both insane and enable the worst, unhinged parts of each other. and then chosen and second are pretty much polar opposites with "doesn't say a word + yapper"

i also love it when CC treat red as like the youngest hyper sibling bc he really does give off that energy. also I AGREE WITH YOU purple and red together were so cute it was so unexpected but i love that

i also really really really want to see dark and purple interact with each other. mostly because they're probably the two most least likely characters to ever see each other. but i like the idea of dark terrorizing purple and it works because purple the whole time is like 'holy fuck this is that terrorist holy fuck shit oml'

i also want to see purple and mango interact with alan. im not sure if they ever did? but id like to imagine one day alan logs onto his computer and sees these two random sticks on his screen and is like who the fuck are you guys

(my guy desperately needs a VPN)

i ADORE blue + yellow. both in a platonic and romantic sense. they're like skater girl + nerd girl to me. they're so goddamn adorable and i'm very obsessed with seeing them. they hold hands. they're polar opposites. they're always together. they're the duo that if you just see one of them it seems wrong. if one of them is missing, you automatically ask the other one where they are, because they no doubt would know. gods they're so entwined with each other

thanks for the ask !!

[remedyturtles]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

thank u for the tag @kiaxet 🥺

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

60 including anonymous works

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

816,928

3. What fandoms do you write for?

at the moment it’s all turtles all the time. i’ve written for so very many previously

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

winner is little kid with a big death wish, followed by techno fic from my dsmp days, then firefight, and then the fireworks and shore series from my life smp days

5. Do you respond to comments?

as many as i can!!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i like angsty beginning and middle but i almost always try to have a happy ending. minus my ONE mcyt fic that ends in canonical character death

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

they’re all pretty happy endings lol it would be hard to rank

8. Do you get hate on fics?

the vast majority of commenters are extremely lovely people

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

for other fandoms. not sure what ‘kind’ lol — the kind with smut haha?

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i LOVE crossovers but i haven’t ever published one myself. scary to try and get two canons right at once!!!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

yes unfortunately lol

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes VERY FORTUNATELY!!! i am still so honoured by it 😭😭

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

not anything published! but i’ve noodled with writer friends in a doc or two

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

cannot believe you’d expect a person who’s been on tumblr since 2011 to pick ONE

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

urghhhhh i’ve started a couple things that are rotting in my docs but pretty much if it’s rotting then i don’t wanna finish anyway it so it doesn’t matter.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i can write a lot. whether or not it’s good is another matter lol but hey there will be a lot of it

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i can’t read what i’ve written so it makes editing hard

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

what an oddly specific question? i’d say i guess if the character doesn’t know the language then use a line like ‘she said something in x’ and if the character does know then use the words from the language

19. First fandom you wrote for?

general hospital. yes the soap opera. it explains a lot abt my story telling i think LMAO

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

the storm will take its pieces … probably the only fic i’ve ever been consistently proud of

i tag you. if you wanna do it.

[dreamsndmadness]

Hello!! Me again, :)

I read the newest chapter(of bloodlines, which was awesome) and I was wondering about Paul. What about Feyd endears Paul? Honestly, Feyd doesn’t seem like someone Paul would be with given the choice especially considering Feyds first impression. It seems to me that at this point even tho Paul and his mother are still being the plotting little schemers we know and love and that Paul’s affections could be apart of some plan of theirs, his emotional boundaries are still somewhat being chipped away at by Feyd.

Also btw this isn’t relevant to the characters but I love how you worked your way around feyds social ineptness to give the readers hints to understanding Paul, for example in chapter 6 when they’re talking about the spice shipments and Paul says “it’s only been a few weeks since the change” and he gets a cloudy look in his eyes; I interpreted that as him also reflecting on how short it’s been since his father died and how his life has been drastically changed but Feyd doesn’t pick up on that at allllll lol.

Also do u mind if ppl draw fanart of ur fic? I’m a very slow artist but I’d love to draw some of ur scenes :3

Another wonderful question 😍.

To be quite honest about what Paul feels for Feyd, there really isn’t affection for him on Paul’s side (at this point!!). Feyd fell pretty fast and hard for obvious reasons. But there are so many more layers surrounding how Paul feels about Feyd. His kinda philosophy going into this was to basically have sex with him because he has to and remain extremely emotionally distant from this person who is part of the family that murdered his beloved father and destroyed his whole world. He very much would not have picked Feyd as a partner if situations were different. Which is part of the reason I am finding writing this story so fun, because it’s picking apart these characters' brains and figuring out a way they can fit together.

Very slight inklings of affection have been creeping up on him and will continue on to creep up on him in the coming chapters. But it is going to be a very slow burn for Paul emotionally. Where Feyd, at this point, is almost in love with him. I feel like each chapter represents another step forward in their relationship, for Feyd and Paul and oftentimes it means different things to them personally.

Paul is only just coming to acknowledge and accept that he’s physically attracted to this person, which in itself was a hard conclusion for him to come to as he was raped on his wedding night. Which was a frankly awful experience for him. Which is why we see him not physically turned on by Feyd for several encounters after that. He’s afraid and in his head and deeply uncomfortable. But Feyd has been pretty relentless about making sure Paul has an orgasm every time they fuck, so Paul was like “hold up… am I enjoying this?”. Basically, chapter 7 was him being like “okay, I enjoy having sex. But I think in order to make this better for the both of us, we need to come to some understandings about how we are going to have sex in the future”. He’s trying to figure out what he likes sexually as he was in fact a virgin before all of this went down. Basically he’s a little more comfortable around Feyd now, hence the slight playfulness in chapter 7 where he tickles him and then laughs at Feyd’s reaction. Honestly such a favorite moment of mine.

(Side note, Paul is going to have a POV chapter soon which will help to elucidate some of this).

So chapter 8 for Paul, that little interaction at the end. He's starting to see and understand that they have a common enemy and see how this could potentially open up some trust between them as they’ve both been hurt by this person. If anyone was wondering, yes I do think Paul knows about Feyd’s CSA. While I haven’t read the book yet, the movies seem to indicate that he gets flashes about people beside himself i.e. Dr Kynes when he knows that she loved and lost a Fremen warrior. In this story, Paul knows Feyd was sexually abused by his uncle. It helps give some perspective on this violent and frankly terrifying person in a way that allows him to feel sympathy and give a little more understanding and context to him as a person and their relationship as a whole. And the fact that at the end of chapter 8 Feyd seeks him out in a protective way rather than to demand sex, goes a long way in Paul having some more good will towards him.

In the next chapter, something else will happen as another step/layer to their relationship that will give Paul another “aha” moment. It’s going to help him feel even more comfortable in their marriage and kinda understand better how their dynamic is going to continue going forward (in a sexual and non sexual way).

Paul and Feyd are such different people with extremely disparate upbringings. Paul was deeply loved and protected by his parents who modeled love and affection for him and raised him to be an intelligent and empathetic person. However, he has little context for having friendships and relationships with people his own age or arguably at all. His only friends seemed to be his parents and much older mentor figures who were old enough to be his father or grandfather. Feyd is not only much younger than those people, but has absolutely no emotional maturity. So there's this very wide divide between them. To bridge that gap is going to take years. Which is why there is going to be more stories after bloodlines. It will not happen by the end of this fic. However, they are going to come to a (hopefully) satisfying emotional understanding by the last chapter. At least I’m very satisfied by it and excited to share it 😝.

If I could pinpoint what specifically endears Feyd to Paul, at this point… honestly not a lot… He is so so different from anyone he’s known before. I think he likes (sometimes), that Feyd surprises him (when it’s not a bad surprise, which honestly most of them have been). He’s much more of an instinctual and spontaneous person where Paul is thoughtful and analytical. I think he appreciates that Feyd seems to like him taking the lead in their sexual relationship. And I think he likes that Feyd seems to respect his intelligence and fighting abilities and actively seeks his council and input.

Oh my goodness this is incredibly long. Hopefully all of that makes sense 😝. Also, yes to Feyd not getting the implication behind Paul’s words in the scene about the time between the change.

ALSO YES PLEASE!!! Oh my goodness!!!!! If you made art for this story, I am not joking when I say I will print it out and frame 🥹❤️. (As long as you are okay with that, that is). Basically, I would be so honored and delighted.

[puckpocketed]

*Kicks in the doors* You put Jeff Carter and Mike Richards on my dash and let me tell you...thanks! I love them and their love and their tragedy. They played against each other in the OHL, were drafted by the Flyers, played in the AHL during the lockout and won the Calder Cup together. Then they would go on to play and party in Philly, becoming beloved and reviled by the fanbases in turn. They signed massive 12 year deals (which the new CBA prevents anyone from signing more then 8 years) together so that they could play together forever...and then they were both traded. Richards to the Kings and Carter to the Blue Jackets.

Carter's play dropped off so badly with the Blue Jackets that the basically got given to the Kings. And when he arrived, his play and Richards' play picked up. They were inseparable. Winning the Cup together, twice, and handing the Cup off to each other.

And then, the tragedy. The ending. Richards substance abuse issues, buyout (that he's still being paid, I believe), and eventual retirement. Carter becoming a Penguin and retiring as one.

The journalists giving us lines like "Mike likes Jeff but Jeff loves Mike." etc. Tragic yaoi central.

ALSO the Mike Richards trade is what sent Wayne Simmonds to Philly where he would be beloved and is still beloved and now works for the org. And the new front office is working hard to repair relationships with former players to the point that Mike Richards played in the alumni game last season. It was a very big deal.

Anyway, this is like a reader's digest version of the history. You Can't Do That podcast (a very funny Caps podcast that I would recommend) has an episode where they go into the Ballad of Mike Richards and Jeff Carter more in depth. And I am sure other people have other recs. But yeah, here we are. It's 2024 and these old men still have a hold on me.

im learning so many new things. such as their names .and also they played for the FLYE RS... okay... <3 CRAZY finding all this out btw, from the standpoint of someone whos kinda just been following the hockey. a friend described it to me as digging down and finding a whole abandoned civilisation <- i did NOT realise how popular LA was on here in the 2010s... lmao.... like i had an inkling. they do have 2 cups. and people like good teams. right (<- shark s enjoyer) but yeah the whole Epic Yaoi Tragedy was not on my radar at ALL . Im so glad those two old men have a hold on you... yayyy <3

hope im not coming off as like... gawking at zoo animals. i rly do feel a level of kinship with rpf writers ( to me we are siblings) and i'm just very interested in it all on a meta level. plus, the narrative IS super fun without the shipping twist lol i love melodrama and i LOVE tragedy!!! scuttling over to the podcast and good heavens that sure is. 194 episodes. . you wouldn't happen to know which episode it is where they talk about these guys?? also if you have any more recommendations for caps pods pls share!

deep cuts about van puckpocketed: i used to be a dm! i love listening to lore. when players used to bring me lore about their characters i horked that shit up with two spoons <3 what im saying is thank u very much for the morning papers/lore dump!!

[silviakundera]

DRAMA REC: So I feel like any real review of Thai drama Moonlight Chicken is hard without heavy spoilers because honestly I don't know how to talk about what makes me passionate about it without discussing all the character relevations that occur over the course of its 8 episodes. I'll try to be generic as much as I can.

The thing about why it's hard to discuss without spoilers is that the characters and their full baggage are revealed slowly episode by episode, because like in real life you often learn about new friends & love interests slowly as intimacy deepens...

But from what I can see online, it's very subjective for viewers - depends on the person if they find these themes and personal challenges compelling or not. This doesn't fit with the typical "BL asian drama" format.

My personal viewing stake: There's an otp that has TAKEN OVER MY BRAIN. I have been searching for this energy ever since finishing Lighter & Princess. Gotta confess that I couldn't care less about the second couple who are teenagers. Apparently MDL and a lot of tumblr only liked the teen couple (valid!), but I just skipped over them mostly because when my brain locks in on Real Adults with Adult Problems I often cease to connect to high school student storylines. But the age gap couple with a 39 year old character who is FEELING his age... Jim & Wen. I've watched all 8 episodes now and they are like cocaine to me.

Ep 1 setup: We're not in Bangkok! (gasp) Jim is almost-40 and runs a late night diner in the less upscale part of town. Wen, about 10 years younger, is drunk at his diner as he's trying to close for the night. They pick up on the unspoken signals, instant electric connection, and end up wandering back to Jim's place and having what looks like fantastic sex together (without exchanging names).

But then after that first night, in the remaining 7 ep of the show you get a slowburn build up from zero as Jim doesn't want a relationship - with anyone. This is truly, sincerely a 'it's not you, it's me" situation. He is mired in baggage and the angst is SO DELICIOUS to me. Angst and soft hand touches and late night conversation. There's YEARNING. SO MUCH YEARNING.

And then my darling Wen! Who brings almost the same energy as the Lighter and Princess FL. @dangermousie I never thought I'd see this irrepressible determination and tender, good humored patience again! He is deeply sure that there is something special here with Jim and is unrelenting about trying to scale Jim's walls. I know that sounds like psychotic SML material lmao but it's all about the tone and context. It's very clear that Jim is allowing Wen in his life and doesn't, deep down, want Wen to give up on him. He's damaged and scared but I always felt he wants Wen to be right - that they are falling in love and can build something real together. He just can't make himself take that step. I mean, in their 2nd meeting he is EQUALLY INSANE to agree that it's v normal and hinged behavior to let his 1 night stand start randomly showing up to work shifts at his diner as 'temp staff' he can't afford to pay because... um. Basically to stalk him? idk I don't think it's stalking when u have a mutual agreement?? 🤔

Wen falling deeper into Jim and KNOWING the feeling is mutual no matter how many times he's (so gently!) pushed back... can be sooooo personal. 😭😭😭 The vibes of this "we're Not Together™" but it's inevitable, I'm just waiting for the timing to be right... reminiscent of the last 10 episodes of Lighter & Princess. This building intimacy and tenderness that stretches on until as a viewer you feel like... They ARE in love, they're together but just without the sex. They just have to stabilize their lives first before committing whole-heartedly. THE BITTERSWEET PINGING. (screams)

One thing I've observed is many people seem to struggle to connect with Jim's character. The closest thing we have to a protagonist (?) Maybe. Anyway, I suspect it might be a generational thing. I found the drama incredibly compelling, but I grew up queer in the 80s and 90s. I'm well into my 40s, a bit older than Jim, but I think the generational queer experience overlaps pretty well considering the sociopolitical differences btw us/thailand.

The screenwriter is an older out gay man, so I presume that's also a factor in how he did a pitch-perfect depiction of Jim's struggles to find home.

Wen has his own baggage that feels very real and raw. I loved his storyline because I could personally relate to it also from my queer relationship experience.

I've blabbered on here before about how I feel like there's something different about queer stories being told to other queers, not targeted to straight viewers primarily - I'm not saying it's better than the big brands and popular international media including lgbt rep. It's just different imo and I do think it's valuable. I want to see stories about the complexities of the experience & about the gay community that can't just be mapped to straight people. Where the story would not feel the same if you flipped the sexualities. That's what Midnight Chicken was to me: the characters of Jim and Wen and their personal development & slow love story together felt very queer and the age gap was a relevant part of this. And that called to me. I could recognize parts of myself in them and my personal experiences as a gay woman.

I was impressed by the writing. Strong acting. The directing of individual scenes is excellent BUT the 1 big flaw is the editing. Very amateur, super abrupt scene changes! Just jarring. But whatever, I've seen some terrible editing in cdramas too. Also note the storytelling tactic is to show a series of meaningful moments & interactions over like 6-8 months of time. Events progress in ways we don't always see and it's not always spelled out to the audience, everything that happened since we last saw them. That may or may not work for the viewer.

[Plus there's a very sweet & wholesome teen love story that also gets a happy ending, if you're into that. One of the teens is deaf and there's no "cure the disability" nonsense, don't worry. I was adult-focused but I did appreciate the complicated family relationship subplot with Jim trying to caretake his nephew and their relationship to the mostly-absent sister.]

ok so now into spoiler territory. Letting the relevations come out organically would be a much better viewing experience BUT...

SPOILERS ON JIM & WEN BACKSTORY

Jim's whole deal is he had a big love in his late 20s-early 30s that fucked him up good. He grew up being told gay love isn't real, leaves his rural farming town with his sister in their teens, disconnected from his family... But even his sister, who loves him, had the perspective that it's Just A Phase. Jim expects to Prove Them Wrong. Then his boyfriend cheats on him.... With a woman. Activate that generation's internalized homophobia and self-doubt. And then before he gets to truly confront his partner, his partner dies in an accident. So he never gets resolution.

And he's stuck under a mountain of debt, on the edge of poverty because he didn't get any of the guy's assets when he died of course. No rights under Thai law. Partner's family takes it all but the old car & the cat. All he has is the small chicken rice shop they had bought and ran together and it's killing him, he both hates and loves it. He's this amazing member of the local community but doesn't see himself and his own worth clearly.

Wen is working through the guilt of falling out of love from his 1st gay relationship that lasted 5 years of his 20s. Broken up but still living together. Trying to stay in each other's lives (I've seen this a lot, because in small gay communities you don't just cut ties with good people you care about). But living together is toxic for both of them, despite the real care that's there.

He also feels disconnected from a community at the start. He has work collegues, all straight friends, and his now-ex boyfriend. But you get the subtle sense that his local ties are all with the boyfriend Alan's family and mutual friends with Alan who don't all know about the breakup yet and he doesn't know how to interface with them anymore now that he and Alan aren't the same. He's the one who fell out of love, so he's "the bad guy" here and the straight friend he tries to talk to about trying to co-habititate with his ex and stay close friends doesn't really get it, because that's just way more typical behavior for older generation queers - it's notable that when the situation is fully explained to Jim, he doesn't seem to find it bizarre at all (as said, I've gone through that myself, and known friends in that situation; found that subplot to be very well done.) (I read that many viewers were disappointed this wasn't a standard infidelity situation where Wen is just regular cheating on Alan, but I have to say that I feel the opposite. The subplot and how it played out felt very relatable to me. I didn't need a cheating angst plotline in this drama that could be transplanted into a straight drama. I wanted more stories that represented my lived experience as an adult lesbian, and Wen's narrative gave me that.)

Wen keeps searching for a home even while living with Alan and having loved him in the past. Which to me was a sign that he'd moved to this smaller city, living in Alan's condo and in Alan's life with Alan's extended family... He started eating beef because Alan did and following along. He doesn't know where HE feels at home, what Wen needs to be comfortable and happy. When he more & more starts to believe he can make this home with Jim, he's determined to make it happen.

[l0sercat]

wesker for the nsfw alphabet plss

Y'all the amount of requests I have rn are crazy and I'm so fucking tired so I'm going to be slow to update and just do he asks I feel like doing so I dnt burn out. Hope y'all understand :')

Albert Wesker NSFW alphabet

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

There is aftercare if he has been rough. He will prepare a bath and get you whatever you need.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves his eyes. They are just so cool and makes his look intimidating. And they always seem to make you shiver when they pierce you. He loves you ass. That's all I need to say.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He doesn't like messes so he prefers to cum in you. Also because he wants to breed you..

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

You came to his work wearing a small skirt and it got him really distracted and hard. So when you left and he could slip away he jerked off. The image of you in that short tight skirt plagued his mind and he moaned our your name.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Hardly has experience but what he lacks in experience he makes up in confidence.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Cowgirl but he's still dominant. Or doggy style. I can't pick 😮‍💨

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He more serious. What's so funny about sex?

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

It's all nice and trimmed. What else did you expect a bush? No not from this god. Nothing is messy or sloppy. It perfect.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He can be romantic. It usually is but sometimes it's not. He can be really sweet and gentle. It's kinda rare.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He hardly masturbates he just doesn't feel the need to.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

He likes gags. Especially gag rings.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

The bedroom. You guys have privacy and it's easier to breed you.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Seeing you all dolled up for him. Seeing you in your best clothing and hanging onto his arm it's gets him going.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Share you. You are his and his alone.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He prefers to give. He just loves tasting you and having your juices coat his face.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

It's depends. Most of the time the speed is n between fast and slow.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He doesn't really like them. You don't have them that often. He prefers proper sex so he can properly breed you.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He doesn't take a lot of risks and he's okay to experiment as long as it's not too risky or bad.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He can last for hours. With uroboros he has so much stamina.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He does not own toys he doesn't need to. He will never bring the into the bedroom. He has himself and his tentacles so toys are not needed.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He likes to tease but doesn't do it a lot

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He grunts a lot and here and there he moans. If your sucking him off and catch him off guard he'll whine.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He likes to be edged. Idk why but I feel like he'd just love you to tease him back and try to take control.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He's 8 inches long and 3 inches thick.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

It's not that high. But when he's horny oh boy...

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He waits till you fall asleep then he'll fall asleep a little after.

[variousqueerthings]

8 11 32 PLEASE!

HELLOOOOO AND THANK YOUUUUUU! also I remembered how much I overthink when looking at these whoops

8. Describe your gender without using any words traditionally related to gender: You know the opening to the Mr Bean series? Mr Bean gets beamed down onto earth and then it's implied that everyone Mr Bean does after that is literally because of being an alien, but it's never actually confirmed in the text? that but like. with a much more extensive wardrobe

11. Favorite (or just one you love) piece of LGBT media?: WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME???? I'm gonna give u three out of Many that are perfect. and I'm going to connect them to a Theme (I'VE CONNECTED THE DOTS). the thing is that these movies are movies that have at some point held me gently and guided me into a greater understanding of the queer community and history generally, as well as my own feeling of place within this community

My Beautiful Laundrette: This is one of my personal seminal queer movies, I watched it as a young'un/baby queer and it's just. Oh. such softness amidst the violence of the times, and the thing is that the softness is something that saves the main characters from the violence, both as potential perpetrators and victims (and how those can be blurred concepts to begin with). the core of it is two men who come back together amidst the height of neo-nazi anti-immigration 80s England, one of whom is Pakistani British and the other a white skinhead. And they open a laundrette together. This movie is sweet, I promise! it also features one of the subtly hottest moments to me in film history, in which one of them licks the others' neck in public while being watched on one side by Pakistani family members and on the other by white racists but it's angled so none of them see it!

City of Lost Souls: Listen, Rosa Von Praunheim's documentation of trans people (and generally queer people) is so so important for our community and you should check him out, but this film in particular is such a wild fucking ride that is hard to explain. a bunch of queer artists in 80s Berlin (and this movie was made in the 80s so you get some real footage of that great big wall) just like... fuck around? share intense elder wisdom? connect? sing! (oh yeah, it's kind of a musical, a trashy punky musical). This is some of the real deep magic of queer connection. there's an iconic moment in this film (there are several) in which a trans woman picks up a one-night stand and explains to him that she's trans and he's like. "eh no idea what all of that means, but you're saying you're a woman right? great!" and it's just Fine

Desire Lines: listen this movie... I'm almost hesitant to recommend it, because I feel so personally affected by it and it's a one-of-a-kind (so far) insight into transmasculine gay culture that is just. deeply precious and not understood by a lot of even the wider queer community. myself and every transmasc person I know who's seen it have felt somewhat transcendent about it, the way you do the first time you see yourself as (positively) visible in this way, it's almost too much. it's a documentary at heart, but quite experimental in elements of its structure, with parts of it being a fictional telling of a middle-aged iranian trans man who works in an archive and is told of the history of trans men's inclusion in gay bathhouses, lou sullivan, and personal testimonies from gay transmasc people. sometimes you don't notice how deprived you've been until something gives you real oxygen

Hon. mentions: Joyland, Great Freedom, Die Beautiful my personal favourite queer films of 2023, still have me by the throat!!!

32. Do you do arts and crafts? Post a pic of a project you've done: okay I will share a picture of something, but I need to go take a picture when I have a sec. It's not complete, but I've started a little zine that's just a big collection of euphemisms and ways of talking about queerness and it's such a fascinating, fun project that's made me think more expansively about how queerness gets talked about, whether it's in the past or present (or potential futures), within and without the community, as modern, or bigoted, or outdated, or fun, or out-of-the-box, or specific, etc. -- it's very far from done, but I can give a sense of just how many words/phrases/concepts I've picked up + imagery I want to include + the construction of the zine itself, which has a few little secrets to it

[sneverussape]

For the asks :33 some fun ones and a lot of angsty ones. As always, feel free to skip if this is too many!

8, 9, 10, 13, 16, 33, 36, 41, 50

u know for whom :3

ah my friend you do me a great favor by asking for angst specifically XD i shall do my best to deliver!

8. Unpopular opinion about them

in the same way that people love to argue that lily was such a 'bad friend' to severus, severus also could have been equally toxic for lily. she was right to break off the friendship if she had felt unsafe. she was right to have set up boundaries to protect herself. she was not responsible for severus or for his happiness and ending their friendship could have been the healthiest way to move forward.

i'm also on team average!height snape (6ft is the tallest i will accept as his height but he's so willowy it doesn't really make him look formidable). compared to his da, he's pretty much a runt.

9. Scene that first made me love (or hate) the character

already answered here!

10. Best moment on screen (or in the book)

ooooh i have several favorites in the books, but one is this scene:

“That is just as well, Potter,” said Snape coldly, “because you are neither special nor important, and it is not up to you to find out what the Dark Lord is saying to his Death Eaters.” “No — that’s your job, isn’t it?” Harry shot at him. He had not meant to say it; it had burst out of him in temper. For a long moment they stared at each other, Harry convinced he had gone too far. But there was a curious, almost satisfied expression on Snape’s face when he answered. “Yes, Potter,” he said, his eyes glinting. “That is my job.”

i like it because it cements him as one who truly understands and accepts his responsibility that he is the adult in the situation and they're supposed to be doing the hard work, not the children. there's also a sliver of trust between him and harry in this scene that rarely shows itself: harry has just practically outed him as a spy, but he stays calm about it and merely acknowledges it. a begrudging sort of respect has started to form between the two shown by how, even though severus insults harry at the onset, he also allows harry to acknowledge the reality of their situation by letting him freely say what he did with none of the usual repercussions. the 'almost satisfied' expression was my undoing. you can say severus was almost proud.

it's rare that an adult actually treated the kids the same way snape did in this instance. they (dumbledore, the weasleys, mcgonagall, etc) always vacillated between treating them like babies by not allowing them to know of any sort of information, or cutting them loose to let them fend for themselves. you can tell snape didn't want them to fend for themselves. he wanted to help, and proved it by doing everything in his power to lead the kids to the next step of their mission.

13. Dumbest thing they’ve ever done

i know i wrote about the hippogriff scene based on canon events but as an hc...i'd say the dumbest thing he's ever done was provoking local cokeworth hooligans to a brawl when he was younger, on one of those days that he desperately needed to feel something after the falling out with lily. it's not that he didn't know how to fight back with his fists; he did, but he had also deliberately picked a gang of 4 (and wasn't that familiar) probably just to prove to himself that he could take them on. he was sorely mistaken in that regard. his parents had been apoplectic with rage and mam spent a good bit of that week's earnings on potions ingredients so she could brew him bruise balm and blood replenishers. taking him to st. mungo's would have raised ministry alarms for wizard endangerment and none of them wanted that. da kept trying to get him to tell him the boys' names but severus kept his silence. it didn't matter anyway.

16. Deepest darkest secret they won’t even admit to themselves

hmm. maybe that there were times when he did enjoy the surge of power that came with being a death eater. he didn't like acknowledging it because he was deeply uncomfortable with the notion that he truly was the sadist many of the children saw him as.

also that petunia was a pretty bird, especially when she was a teenager while he and lily had still been children, but that's something he had buried deep in his unconscious mind, way before it was even a coherent thought.

33. Something guaranteed to make them cry

old muggles who were homeless or begging on the streets.

mr. khatry's red curry.

his students' atrocious spelling and writing. (dumbledore really should overhaul the curriculum to include english reading and writing classes for these miscreants; he spends far too much time teaching the little fools basic syntax and grammar when he could be focusing on the actual subject matter).

36. Their favorite season

summer! not only are there no classes but he deeply enjoys how long and languid days the days are. it's also the time of the year when he spends the most time out in the sun since he has to help with the upkeep of his neighbors' homes. this always results in him getting a bit of a tan that's made all the more evident when he troops back to the castle. minerva teases him mercilessly for it and he always lies and says he got it vacationing in pompeii or alexandria or some other exotic location. minerva doesn't believe a word of it but enjoys their little game and always asks him for stories about his travels which he embellishes with ridiculous details.

there's also a single week in the summer when time seems to stand still and the air seems breathless and the ghosts of his childhood seem to hold out their phantom hands out to him. he disappears for hours on end on those days, and no one dares to ask where he's going or where he's been. he always comes back at the end of the day, rumpled and slightly disheveled, with his head hung low. the neighbors know well enough to keep their distance on those days, and collectively breathe a sigh of relief when the winds turn once the week is done and severus is back to his acerbic self.

41. If they could have lunch with anyone in the world (living or dead, from any fictional universe or the real world), who would it be?

this is a good question! knowing severus and his incessant thirst for knowledge, he'd probably choose someone he could learn from, like merlin. lunch would be spent not eating but for learning and experimentation. other viable choices would probably be alan turing, charles darwin, and salazar slytherin.

50. A memory they’ve blocked out

i've written a piece about this before that i never published. instead of one, i'll give you four memories straight from that piece :)) they revolve around the breaking down of his and tobias' relationship.

--

cw corporal punishment by parent (switching)

excerpt from In the House of My Father (unpublished):

—

“Da!”

The first memory: he was six years old and clattering down the stairs just as his father opened the door. Tobias was large and took up the entire frame of the entryway. He easily picked Severus up as he came running, then swiftly moved him onto his shoulders, securing the boy’s balance by placing his hands behind his back for support.

“’Ere’s me lad!” his father shouted, his voice booming in the tiny hallway. “The tallest boy in the world!”

“Aye!”

“Wipe your shoes before you come in, Tobias, I won’t have you messing up the floor I just cleaned, you hear me now?” Eileen’s voice could be heard from the kitchen, strained with tight annoyance. “And wash your hands before you come for supper. Bring your son with you.”

Your son. Severus felt a burst of pride at that label. Of course he was his father’s son. Who else would he be?

“Ye hungry, lad?” His father asked, peering up at him.

“Starvin’, Da.”

“Ye’r sayin’ grace tonight, ye hear? Can yer remember them all? Them’s big words.”

“’Course!” He had spent most of the day committing to memory the short prayer Da usually had them utter before meals, no matter how meager. Tobias agreeing for him to say them that night was the proudest moment of his young life. He was not going to let his Da down.

“Tha’s a good lad.”

--

The second memory: him at eight in front of the mirror as Eileen brushed out the tangles in his hair. He was wearing his best shirt, the white one with the crisp collar, and trousers his Mam had freshly ironed, the one that had nearly no patches. These were his Sunday clothes, and he secretly looked forward to wearing them after a whole week of wearing the ill-fitting outfits he had to endure on other days.

Eileen stood behind him, gentle in her ministrations as her long smooth fingers ran down his scalp.

“Won’t you come, Mam?” Severus asked, although this was an argument they always had and the answer was always the same. It never deterred his determination, however.

“No, Severus,” came the predictable reply.  

“But why?” He couldn’t help his statement from curling into a whine. “Yer already missed my Holy Communion!”

“We’ve discussed this before. I never perceived you a dense child.” Eileen raised an eyebrow at him in challenge and Severus huffed. “Do stop.”

“It’s just Mass, Mam. Fr. Delaney says—”

“This is something between you and your father and I cannot join, Severus.”

“But you’re married!”

“It is allowed for us to be so. That’s hardly the point.”

Severus crossed his arms. “All yer havta do is sit there and copy what Da and I are doin’…”

“Severus.” Eileen sighed. “It’s not the same. I do not belong to that group. I do not share the same beliefs.”

“Oh? Is it the same as Da not bein’ able to do mag—ow!”

To his surprise, Eileen’s grip on him tightened and he was wrenched sideways to look up at his mother. Her eyes, which were usually dark and emotionless, were suddenly clouded. The breath she released was a tremble. Severus stared back at her, confused.

“Mam? Are you…”

“Severus, you must never mention magic in front of your father.” Her voice had dropped to a harsh whisper, and her nails were digging into his shoulder. He winced. “We’ve discussed this before! Do you want all your magic to be taken away? Do you want us to be taken away?”

Severus shook his head, suddenly unnerved by the change in his mother. “N-no. Never, Mam,” he whispered.

“Good.” Her grip on him loosened, but only by a fraction. “I do not want to discuss this again, do you understand? Or I will leave you here alone, Severus. I swear it. No more of this talk.”

“Y-yes, Mam.”

--

The third memory: The first time he had done accidental magic that he could remember was as he watched his father make his way down the icy steps of their home on the way to work. He didn’t know how old he was. But Tobias had slipped, his boots suddenly unable to keep his balance, and all of a sudden, he was tumbling headfirst onto the street, seconds away from cracking his head on the frozen pavement—

Severus raised his hands instinctively and his father’s form hung suspended in the air as though he was held back by an invisible force. Moments later, he crashed down, face first, but this time he had had enough time to shield himself with his arms. The commotion was loud enough to alert his mother, who rushed out of the kitchen and into the cold to see what had happened.

“Tobias!”

“It was angels, ‘Leen! I swear to Christ, the hand of God jus’ saved me!”

--

The fourth memory: Spare the rod, spoil the child.

“Bend over.”

Severus was ten. There was a scorch mark near the wall where the fire in the grate had flared up with his accidental magic. His father had not seen, but he had heard the argument that had taken place between Severus and Eileen. He had heard his son’s raised voice and had immediately appeared, switch in hand.

“Bend over now, Severus!” Severus bent over. Five strikes against his bare bottom made him howl in pain, and he had not hated his father any more than that moment.

--

and that's it! i never finished this piece hehehe. but i thought it was appropriate because he starts remembering these as he lay dying in the shrieking shack. :3

[thewingedwolf]

wait i’m gonna be so annoying and have a final thoughts here

the aesthetic & main romance has just really fallen off. they are incapable of sticking the landing in the third act & while they still have some good looks, i think there’s a certain level of playing it too safe (see Kate’s wardrobe!!!!!) and also just, bizarre makeup choices that were a bit distracting.

they also just don’t know how to keep a character waiting for their romance while building that character up over several arcs. kind of a bad trait to have for a tv show?? 😭😭 like, i love them with all my heart, but everyone has said that eloise, benedict, & colin have felt so confused at points as characters, like the writers didn’t know where to go with them. they’re just waiting for their romance instead of like, growing.

Colin was the male lead what do we even know about him beyond his inability to interact with a woman without projecting onto her.

once again the milfs outsold, agatha and violet are the best thing about this series and i don’t care how much i like violet’s lil thing with agatha’s brother, i want those two gossipy old milfs to kiss sloppy style.

it’s too goddamn short, i think this wasn’t a problem in s1 or qc bc it’s the First season so there’s not as many characters to follow but they keep introducing all these other characters that take space away from a) The Main Couple and b) The Bridgertons As A Family, and those are the draws of the series!! it’s too much for only 8 episodes, what happened to 12-18 episodes for high budget or cable shows, if they had these people on like Normal tv contracts they wouldn’t have such a hard time scheduling and have these long ass waits between seasons Either, im tired of this and i blame the duffer brothers and i want those two nerds hunted for sport.

also hyacinth and gregory are getting SO OLD OMG HURRY UP 😭😭😭

i think they did a better job this season with folding the siblings in together but it feels disjointed from s2. anthony & kate specifically feel very oddly thrown in there and idgi. i loved seeing the bridgertons using calling times as an excuse for Group Hangs, and i loved the way John pointed this out to Francesca. i liked that the ending with benedict where he’s realizing he’s the oldest still left at home with two like, toddler siblings and feeling unhappy with it, but bc they struggle with incorporating all the siblings together, we really lose that thread from last season between him & anthony that could have given benedict a way to explore his sexuality in a slutty way while also giving anthony something to do & not drop the art school thing. however, this is all detailed and would take a lot of time and they only have eight episodes. why. do 13-18 or im gonna start sending death threats to ceos. for legal reasons that’s a joke haha.

i do think in the few kathony scenes we got, they nailed the dynamic that she is the world’s most put upon eldest daughterson and he needs to be institutionalized. pls put jonathan bailey and simone ashley in another thing together so i can see them together again. this can’t be the end. be the next tom hanks and meg ryan please. he george clooney and julia roberts. i’m on my knees here.

am i allowed to say i’m glad we got a long devirginizing scene like in s1 & qc but also we did not see Nearly enough of those two fucking. more than kathony but imo still not on the level of the other two. also you could write an essay here about the sex politics of this show. i will refrain and say Is This Not The Pervert’s Show?? Can we Please get better pandering????

i think no one can handle a big cast like shonda not even her hand picked teams. qc handled having a host of characters so much better. early grey’s is really great at this. htgawm is good at this. u can tell what season she was really In That Writer’s Room. shonda pls get back in the writer’s room i need something as emotionally devastating as “meredith i’m so sorry” “you must be the woman whose screwing my husband” i need sexy like the “teach me” scene but with the freedom of streaming to get freaky with it, this cast WANTS to deliver but netflix & these writers are NOT up to the challenge!!!

i love bi benedict. even if nothing else comes of this i didn’t think they’d genuinely have benedict get intimate with and acknowledge being attracted to a man. genuinely really jazzed about that. but they Have said they want to explore his ~fluidity more and there’s so many scenarios that could be, i have no idea what the hell they mean by that askksjd. crossdressing sophie, genderbent to solomon, a trans sophie/solomon of some persuasion, im excited to see where they go!

BI FRANCESCA. MICHAELA STIRLING. PEOPLE ARE HATING BUT YOU HAVE MY ATTENTION. esp bc you could do a michaela that has like, resigned herself to a life of never feeling love only to fall in love At Her Cousin’s Wedding so well with this. these three, michaela francesca john, are gonna break my HEART i’m READY for it!

i want the resolution to one of the gay couples to include brimsley & reynolds encouraging charlotte to cure society of homophobia somehow. if we can do this with racism we can do it with homophobia. why the hell not.

listen to me. listen closely. are you listening. if we don’t get lesbian eloise what are we even fucking doing here. enough fucking around. give me a real sign this is all going somewhere. i am no longer asking.

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Could we get some Abraham Grantchester NSFW alphabet.. not feeling anything particular for that character (?) But like .. I need to know everything? Does that make sense? 🥸

You are gonna kill me with these! Abraham is only in one episode and doesn't feature particularly heavily, so this is gonna be a stretch.

Abraham NSFW Alphabet

A= Aftercare (what they’re like after the act)

Don't be ridiculous - won't even wait for them to pull their skirt back down - he's off once he's pulled out.

B= Body part (favorite body part their own or their lovers)

Very proud of his ridiculous quiff.

A sucker for a pretty smile, and a massive pair of tits.

C= Cum (anything that has to do with it)

Respectfully, not even King Arthur himself could pull Abraham out of his partner - it's going inside.

D= Dirty secret (Pretty self explanatory)

Has likely found himself in situations in the past where consent is dubious at best.

E= Experience (do they know what they’re doing)

Abraham gets around - he knows what he's doing.

F= Favorite position

Doggy or against the wall - whatever scratches the itch quickest, basically.

G= Goofy (how serious are they)

Is very flirtatious and charming in the lead up, but is all business once he gets down to it.

H= Hair (grooming habits)

If the hair on his head is anything to go by, then he definitely manscapes.

I= Intimacy (in the moment romantic or rough/dirty)

Rough and dirty. He's all about a quick fuck.

J= Jack off (do they masturbate and how often)

He's a traveller, so would rather pick up a random from the nearest pub and get his end away.

K= Kink (kinks what they like possibly unusual)

Enjoys choking his partners. Has a spit kink, obviously.

L= Location (where they like to get it on)

Where ever. Will just bend his partner over the nearest surface, or push them up against the nearest wall.

M= Motivation (things that makes them tick/turn ons)

Cleavage. A cheeky smile flashed at him from across the room. Suggestive eye contact.

N= No (turnoffs or absolutely won’t do)

Clinginess. Asking to see him again.

O= Oral (receiving or giving and how skillful they are)

If his partner wants to blow him he's game, but he won't return the favour.

P= Pace (how fast they are and how long they last in bed)

Has good stamina, considering the fact he jackhammers.

Q= Quickie (do they prefer fast and hard)

Abraham only does quickies.

R= Risk (do they like to try new things)

He doesn't keep the same partner long enough to experiment.

S= Stamina (how many times they can go and how long each round lasts)

He's a one and done type of dude. 20 minutes tops.

T= Toys (are they game for using sex toys on themselves or lovers)

He'd have to get to know them for this to apply, he won't do that.

U= Unfair (how do they tease or do they enjoy suspense themselves)

Once he knows it's a sure thing he's all business.

V= Volume (are they loud, what sounds, and do they talk)

Grunts, grits out a "fuck!" as he cums.

W= Wild card (random sincannon of any sort)

If his partner's underwear are difficult to move to the side he'll just tear them off completely.

X= X-ray (what’s down below in dem pants)

8 inches. It's a monster. He rarely takes the time to properly prepare his conquests, so their eyes will water upon entry if they aren't sufficiently wet.

Y= Yearning (sexdrive level)

High, but he's not gagging for it, because he's confident he can get it when he wants it.

Z= Zzzz (do they sleep after if so how quickly after)

There's no way he's spending the night or allowing his partner to - the moment he cums he's gone again.

[colloquialcolors]

gonna write a fucking post about the Winter TLOU section and episode 8 because what ELSE am I supposed to do after witnessing that huh.

As someone very very pleased overall with the adaptation from the game to the show, something I have missed a little is, oddly enough- the hard cuts to black and time jumps after emotionally harrowing sequences or intense moments. After Henry and Sam's deaths. Joel collapsing outside the university. This episode, though, made something about that choice click into place.

For more context- in the game, this section comes immediately after Joel's fall and unconsciousness. The entire section with Riley and Ellie panicking was DLC, meaning the original flow of the story does not provide you with that context, and you might miss it entirely. Instead, the game cuts to black as Joel goes unsconscious with Ellie pleading above him-

and you get the title card. WINTER. It was not winter before. And you are Ellie, hunting. You have been playing this whole game as Joel thus far, and you suddenly, after all that chaos, are Ellie. Hunting in a white blanketed forest. Lighter, quieter, agile and a far cry from the girl yelling, panicked, above Joel.

And this Ellie is capable, at hunting- she already has a rabbit or two, and has just shot another- when she spots the deer, she has some idea of how to track and take it down (hindered mostly by us, the player, adjusting to controlling her). Until the encounter with David, where Ellie asks a little desperately about medicine, you have no inkling on if Joel is even alive, and Ellie being so capable is almost its own negative indicator. As the section wears on, Ellie does a lot more killing in game than she does here- she stabs a nonzero amount of clickers, zombies, and people in the neck during various navigation and escape scenes, shoots the rifle and the bow (miss u bow) with her own kind of proficiency, and reflects many things you have to assume she learned from Joel. The game medium lends itself well to a certain level of capability, of course- even for 14 year olds with bloodied hands.

While the hard cuts to black provide a gut punch I do miss a bit, getting rid of those allows the show to fill in some gaps- especially about these characters in their weak moments, low moments, after the dust has settled and they need to pick themselves up again. It does a lot in humanizing them. Shows them rattled and uncertain and shaken and mourning, instead of dropping us back in after they've picked back up their broken pieces, given the dignity of speculation.

Ellie, especially, is more scared here- more uncertain, more shaky, playacting as Joel rather than successfully emulating him. There is no hard cut where we get to assume Ellie has scraped things together and settled in it. We see her fear, playing out, see her desperation firsthand, before she even sets back out. She is so young. She was young, in the game too, but it is driven home in new and more intense ways, here. She is so profoundly out of her depth.

The uncertainty makes these same victories hit harder, too. Ellie, terrified and horrified and angry, sassing back. Ellie with realization and fear dawning- making the play for the keys, snapping his finger. "Tell them Ellie is the little girl who broke your fucking finger." Ellie, telling him- I'm infected, and now you are too. So many of these lines and scenes are almost verbatim, but it lands differently, with this different context, with an Ellie who is much less sure but still so lethal.

Less, and more. David's entire Fucking Pedophile Shit deal was much less prominent, in game. The overtness of it made things so much worse. So much scarier. Bella's delivery of Ellie's yells and reactions carry an edge of panic, of fear, of raw emotion, brings a scene that was always at 150% up to 300%, until Ellie, screaming, swinging down the knife is an almost physical, visceral catharsis.

In the game, Joel finds here there- pulls her off, pulls her into a hug after she fights him for a moment, the music swelling to give their words to each other privacy as they lock gazes and speak. Here- Ellie pulls herself back to reality. She finishes her catharsis. She realizes, on her own, face spattered with blood, what she's done. She stumbles from the smoke to the clean outside under her own power, on her own.

When Joel grabs her- she fights, there is such audible rage and horror and fear, and it hurts more, it cuts deeper, understanding that fear, the depth of it. Before he spins her around, and the comfort scene is only half a minute longer, but there is so much more to it- more that led up to it, and more in the moment, of Ellie's gaze going from panicked to unbelieving to weak with relief to something heavier.

So few cut aways in the show. no dignity of a timeskip and implied fractures, just bleeding characters, holding onto each other in the snow.