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dontcare77ghj · 5 years ago

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Farm House

Clint x reader x Natasha

Italics means sign language

“What is this place?” Thor asked as the team moved towards the farm house.

“Safe house.” Tony said with a shrug.

“It’s home.” Clint interjected from up front. He was practically holding Natasha up as they led the group into the home. “Honey we’re home!” Clint called as he entered the living room.

Natasha and Clint had been gone for months. You knew why, and you knew long before that this would happen. The two of them could be away for months at a time, sometimes without ever hearing a word from them, but the three of you made it work.

Nightly phone calls, even if they had to be brief, video updates sent at least once a week and every two weeks you would all do a video call. It wasn’t the best situation, but you all loved each other enough to make it work.

It had been three months since you’d last seen them in person, and you missed them. You’d spent the whole morning working on some work your boss had sent you, when you’d heard it.

“Honey, we’re home!” Clint’s voice rang loudly through the house causing Lucky to scrabble to his feet.

“Dog!” You called as you rushed to a stand. You’d made it out to the living room in time to see Lucky jump on Clint.

“Agh! Get off me, you bloody mutt!” Clint scolded as he attempted to shield himself from the happy dog.

“Clinton Barton, don’t you call my baby a mutt.” You chided as you came towards your lovers. A large smile crossed your face as you were pulled into a hug from them both.

“If he wasn’t such a mutt, I wouldn’t call him that.” Clint said as you pulled back from him.

“You’re the one who found him and brought him home.” Natasha said pulling you into a tight hug.

“Are you okay?” You asked looking them both up and down. “No broken limbs, head injuries or blood staining the front porch?”

“Okay that was one time and I didn’t mean to.” Clint defended as Natasha laughed. “Gentlemen, and Tony.” Clint began, wrapping an arm around both you and Nat and turned to face the rest of his team. “This is our wife, Y/N.”

“Our?”

“Wife?”

“Yes, boys what about that is so hard to understand?” Natasha asked leaning heavily on Clint. She and Clint pulled the chain hiding their rings out from under their gear and you flashed your left hand.

“Can you even get married to more than one person?” Steve asked.

“Legally, no.” You voiced. “We did the ceremony ourselves, signed some papers we can’t ever file, but for all intents and purposes, we’re married.” You added.

“We’re sorry about dropping in one you like this.” Bruce apologized from the back of the group.

“Yeah, we would’ve called, except we had no idea you existed.” Tony said sarcastically.

“You can thank Fury for that.’ Clint said. “He helped us set this place up off the books years ago. I’ll show you guys to the spare rooms, there’s a couple bathrooms upstairs so you can shower. I’ve got some things you can borrow after.” He added motioning them to follow him up the stairs.

“What happened?” You asked pulling your wife down onto the sofa. Lucky immediately jumped onto the red heads lap making her smile.

“Tony created a robot that’s trying to destroy us all. He recruited these kids onto his side, who hate Tony, they’re enhanced. Boy’s got superspeed and the girl’s able to mess with our heads.” Natasha sighed, running her fingers through Lucky’s fur.

“What did they do to you?” You asked taking her hand in yours. “Talk to me, Tash.”

“I was back in the red room.” She admitted with a grimace. “They made me kill you and Clint.” She added.

“Oh, hon.” You cooed and pulled her into your side. “You aren’t that person anymore.”

“But what if I am?” Natasha whispered, curling into your side.

“You’re not. I didn’t know you back then, but I know you now and I know who you are. You are our wife and help save people. You saved the world, your team, me and how many times have you saved Clint’s ass?” You asked causing her to laugh into your shoulder.

“I’m going to ignore that comment, because deep down you feel bad about that.” Clint commented as he walked down the stairs. “Boys are all sorted for the moment.” He added, lifting Lucky off the couch and slid under the dog’s body, curling into Natasha’s other side.

“How long do you plan on staying for?” You asked as Clint reached over and to take one of your hands.

“A night, maybe two.” He mused. “We just need time to make a plan and this place was the most off grid.”

“Plus, we missed you.” Natasha added, kissing your cheek. “It’s been too long.”

“I know, hon.” You replied, kissing the top of her head. “I would say let’s go upstairs and celebrate your return, but unfortunately for us, we have guests.”

“They’re not going to care.” Clint whined. Natasha rolled her eyes and lightly nudged him the ribs.

“Well I care. I don’t want your team to hear us fucking.” You stated coming to a stand.

“Come on babe, please.” He begged as you helped Natasha stand.

“Clint no.” You said firmly, rolling your eyes. “I’m going to take Tasha upstairs, and you can go out back, the chooks need a feed.” You added with a smirk.

“Bye, Clint.” Natasha laughed as you pulled her up the stairs and into your bedroom. “I missed you.” She said as she sat on the bed.

“I missed you too, hon.” You responded giving her a quick kiss before moving away to grab her a change of clothing.

“You know, if you just say the word, we’d leave it all behind.” She said causing you to sigh.

“I love that you’re offering, Tash, but you and I both know, I wouldn’t do that to you. You’re doing good in the world, I mean if you’d quit all those years ago, I wouldn’t be here. You save so many people Nat, and I know you like doing it. I couldn’t be selfish enough to ask you to do that.” You said sitting yourself on her lap.

“I know. I know, I just don’t want you to feel alone. We’re gone for months at a time and we both feel bad about it.” She said burying her head into your neck. “I don’t want to screw this up.”

“You’re not.” You stated firmly pulling her head back to look at you. “Sure, we don’t get to see each other all the time, but that just makes the time we do spend together even more precious. We are fine.” You added giving her temple a kiss. “Now get changed, you need some rest. You can’t fight evil if you pass out.”

“Will you stay for a while?” She asked as she stripped off her suit.

“Of course.” The two of you laid down in the bed, you the big spoon for once, and said nothing. You just relished the fact that you were both together, safe and breathing. Natasha soon drifted off to a peaceful sleep and you laid awake, watching the rise and fall of her back.

Clint quietly came into the bedroom ten minutes later. He said nothing but smiled at the sight of you two. He laid on Natasha’s other side and faced you, the two of you laid there, neither saying anything, and just savored the comfort this position oozed.

“So, Y/N, how did you guys meet?” Steve asked as the team sat in your dining room. Looking up from the dinner you and Clint were making, you smiled.

“Oh, you know, the usual. They stopped a bullet from entering my skull.” You said with a smirk.

“I’m sorry, what?” Bruce asked looking at you with wide eyes.

“What she means is we saved her ass.” Clint interjected cockily, turning to face the man you narrowed your eyes.

“I could’ve handled it.” You stated pointing a spatula at the archer.

“You were literally about to be shot in the head, you said so yourself.” Clint said. You were about to rebut his argument when Natasha walked into the room.

“What these two are trying to say is, we met on a mission.” She said, wrapping her arms around you from behind.

“What kind of mission, if you don’t mind me asking?” Steve asked, watching the three of you with a smile.

“They found me at a HYDRA base. Assholes nabbed me off the streets and did some experimentation on me. I almost blew up their base before they decided I was more trouble than I was worth.” You said shaking your head. Natasha’s arms tightened around your waist at the mention of how you met.

“What did they do to you?” Tony asked leaning forward in his chair.

“They had some off-world piece of tech and were testing its effects on us. A handful of us made it out alive of the first test but by the end of it, only a couple of us were left standing. The experiments left us all, mutated I guess you could say.” You explained putting the spatula down on the counter.

“What happened to you?” Bruce asked causing you to smile.

“I became a human sponge.” You said placing your hand on the granite and absorbing it into your skin.

“What the fuck?” Tony yelled as your skin began to change into the same material as the counter.

“Human sponge.” Natasha answered running her hands down your smooth arms. “What part of that don’t you get Stark?”

“Do you know the limitations to this, mutation?” Bruce asked with wide eyes.

“Like I said, I’m a sponge. Anything from memories, textures and I’ve even been able to absorb the abilities of others.” You said letting your skin turn back to normal.

“But why would that make them want to kill you?” Steve asked. “Wouldn’t this be the kind of thing they want?”

“You’d think so.” You said with a laugh. “But they realized that they couldn’t control me, and what they can’t control is not something they want.”

“Probably didn’t help that you tried to burn the building down.” Clint commented with a smirk.

“They’re lucky I didn’t burn any of them.” You said starting to plate up the food. “Assholes more than deserved it.” You added, handing the plate of food to Clint who placed it on the table.

“How come these two never mentioned you before?” Tony asked as the three of you sat at the table.

“HYDRA still want me dead and I kinda like breathing.” You said as you served yourself dinner.

“Forgive me for asking, but during your time there did you ever happen upon a pair of twins?” Steve asked from his seat across from you. “The Maximoffs.”

“Are those two still around?” You asked getting nods from the team. “Jesus. Um, yeah, they were there. Kids had to have been fifteen when HYDRA dragged them in. Was it Wanda? Did she fuck with your heads?”

“Steve doesn’t like that kind of language.” Natasha said with a smirk.

“You know what, Romanoff?” Steve started but was cut off as Tony interrupted.

“The girl, yes. What do you know about her?” Tony asked.

“She’s pissed at you, Stark. Your weapons killed their parents, most of our conversations together involved her plotting your death.” You said taking a bite of the meal.

“So, not only is there a killer robot you created-“

“With Banner.”

“But also, two enhanced pissed at you.” Clint pointed out. “Feels like there’s a pattern here.”

“They are teenagers, Clint.” You said before Tony could verbally attack your husband. “Their parents weren’t murdered by Stark. They’re angry and they want someone to blame, Tony just happens to be the person they chose.”

“Thank you!” Tony said clapping his hands and leaning back in his chair.

“Well what do you suggest we do?” Bruce asked, a bit snippily. “She can make everyone see their worst nightmares and they’re both working with Ultron.”

“Like I said, they’re still young. I’m not suggesting you go easy on them, but I’m telling you their opinions can be changed, they just have to see what’s really happening.” You said looking at the doctor. “They’ve spent a little of five years being mentally and physically tortured by HYDRA. They’ve been shaped to follow orders, but they always choose what’ll get them out alive, because they are the most important thing to each other.”

“We need to get back out there.” Steve said suddenly. “We have to get back out there before Ultron starts annihilating the world.”

“When you programmed Ultron to protect the human race, that didn’t really work out did it?” Natasha asked with a smirk,

“They don’t need protecting.” Bruce said, his gaze focusing on the butterfly picture on the wall. “They need to evolve, Ultron’s going to evolve.” He realized.

“We need to leave first thing in the morning.” Steve said urgently.

“What and get our ass kicked again? Think it through, Rogers.” Tony snapped. “We need backup.”

“And where do you propose we find backup? In case you forgot SHIELD’s not an option anymore.” Steve said glaring at the billionaire.

“I’ll help.” You interjected. The team’s heads snapped towards you and Clint began to protest.

“What? No, Y/N, that’s not a smart idea.” He said and you glared at him.

“Clint, I have absorbed the skills and mutations of mutants and enhanced alike. I’ve not only absorbed both yours and Natasha’s skills, I have absorbed the skills of many other skilled fighters in all different professions. I live on this planet, and if I can help stop a crazy robot- “

“AI.” Tony said, a grunt leaving his lips as Steve elbowed him in the ribs.

“Robot, I will do whatever it godamn takes to help.” You said without paying Tony any mind.

“Nat, you wanna weigh in here?” Clint asked turning to the red head.

‘No, I think I’ll watch you dig this hole.” She said with a smirk.

“I am not digging a hole.” Clint protested.

“You kinda are.” Tony said, another elbow to the ribs shut him up.

Clinton Francis Barton, give me one good reason as to why I shouldn’t do this.

They still want you dead, okay? And it might not be just them, who knows how many people want to kill you? We can’t lose you, Y/N. I can’t lose you.

Do you trust me?

Yes.

Then trust me on this. I can do this.

“Anyone going to let us in on what’s happening?” Tony asked looking between the two of you.

“Hush, Stark. You’re ruining the moment.” Natasha said silencing the billionaire. Natasha turned back to look at you both and gave you a smile. Clint, we’ve trained her ourselves. She can do this.

Thank you, Nat. Please Clint, I can do this.

Okay. Okay, I trust you.

“Right then, it’s settled.” Natasha said clapping her hands. “We leave tomorrow.” She added as she stood up.

“Wait, who won? I already have money on this.” Tony asked looking in between the three of you.

“It’s not something you can win, Stark.” Clint sighed, you placed a kiss on his cheek as you walked over to the sink.

“You can win anything, Legolas. Now, who won?” Stark dismissed turning to look at you and Nat.

“Y/N did.” Natasha said with a smirk.

“So, does this mean you’ll be helping us, ma’am?” Steve asked looking at you.

“It’s Y/N, Steve. And yes, I’ll help with your robot problem.” You told the man.

“Great!” Tony said with a clap. “I think this is a fantastic decision by the way, thank you, Clint for folding like that.” He added, looking at the man.

“I didn’t fold Stark, I have trust in my partners. There’s a difference.” Clint denied, shaking his head.

“Sure, call it whatever you want, I call it her holding your balls.” Tony said, making Clint galre at him

“Stark remember this; out of the three of us there is one enhanced and two master spies. Keep pissing us off and shit will go down.” Natasha warned, causing Tony to shrink in his chair.

“Geez, are they always like this?” You asked, giving your head a shake. “I might have to change my mind now.”

“Nope, no take-backs.” Clint stated coming over to you. “You wanted to help, this is what you have to put up with.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ.” You sighed. What did you get yourself into?

What did you get yourself into?

You seemed to be having this thought a lot in the past few days. You and the Avengers had found Ultron’s new weapon of destruction, a creation he’d called Vision. Bruce and Tony had been trying to bring him to life after you’d all taken him, Steve was against it, the twins had come to your side, Thor had brought Vision to life, oh and Ultron himself had taken Nat.

Currently you, the twins, Vision and the Avengers were on the quinjet suiting up.

“We find out what Ultron’s been building, we find Romanoff.” Steve said, looking at you and Clint. “We clear the field, we keep the fight between us. Ultron thinks we’re monsters, that we’re what’s wrong with the world, this isn’t just about beating him, it’s about whether he’s right.” He added looking away.

You stood behind Clint and placed a hand on his shoulder. He was looking at the photo of your wedding day. “Are you okay?” You asked.

He lifted his head up to gaze at you and placed his hand on top of yours. “Worried, but that’s pretty standard whenever the two of you are involved.” He said with a half-smile.

“We’re going to be fine. We’re going to get Nat back and we’re all going to be fine.” You said, making him give you a real smile.

“You’re too positive for your own good, you know that right?” he stated kissing your hand.

“Y/N.” Steve stated, you both turned to face the man who looked serious. “We’re at the drop. You’ll be going in with Thor, he’ll look for Ultron’s creation, you look for Romanoff, ok?”

“You got it, Cap.” You said changing your skin into its diamond form.

“Still freaky.” Tony muttered staring at your new shiny skin.

“You’ll get used to it.” Clint said placing a kiss onto your smooth lips. “Be careful.” He warned.

“Always am, Barton.” You assured moving over to the blonde God. “Ready when you are.” You said looking at the man. Thor gave you a nod and the two of you jumped out of the plane, the two of you found Ultron’s base and using his hammer he smashed the wall.

Thor ran off in one direction and you in the other.

“Tash.” You called entering a large room. “Tash.”

“Y/N.” Natasha’s voice came from the corner of the room. You ran over to her and grabbed her hand from between the bars.

“Hey, are you you okay?” You asked looking her over quickly.

“I’m fine.” She assured. “Any chance, one of your skills includes you turning into a key?” She asked with a smile.

“I got one better.” You mentioned. You turned your skin back into its normal form and phased through the bars.

“Oh God, I hate this.” Natasha muttered as you grabbed her and walked through the bars together. “Doesn’t that feeling make you want to rip your skin off?” She asked.

“I can turn my skin into diamond layer, nothing feels weirder than that.” You said, changing back into said form.

“Where is everyone?” She asked grabbing her weapons off a table.

“Outside. Thor is somewhere around here we’re going to meet the rest of them in the city.” You told her as she got ready. “Are you ready?” You asked.

“Almost. I got one more thing to do.” She said giving you a kiss. “Alright.” She said pulling away. “Come on, we got a job to do.”

“Let’s finish this.” You agreed. The two of you made your way out of Ultron’s lair and quickly made it to where all the action was.

“Romanoff you and Y/N better not be flicking beans.” Tony said over the coms as Natasha drove the truck.

“Relax shell head, not all of us can fly.” Natasha snapped pulling the large vehicle to a stop. The two of you ran over to where everyone was, Clint rushing to stand next to you both. “What’s the drill?” She asked.

“This is the drill. Ultron gets ahold of it, we die.” Tony explained.

“Note to self. don’t let him get it, then.” You said turning away from the machinery. Everyone turned forward to watch as Ultron floated forward.

“Is that the best you can do?” Thor yelled mockingly. Ultron said nothing as his army rushed forward.

“This is the best I can do. This is exactly what I wanted. All of you, against all of me. How can you possibly hope to stop me?” He asked

“Like the old man said, together.” Tony said and that’s when it happened. Ultron’s army rushed forward, intending to tear you all apart. The sounds of electricity, Clint’s arrows, cap’s shield and the dying screams of Ultron’s robots permeated the air.

Vision, Thor and Tony rushed out to corner Ultron, as the rest of you covered their backs. You crushed, smashed and melted any robot that came into sight and soon the androids were all dead.

“We gotta move out. Even I can tell the air is getting thin. You guys get to the boats. I’ll sweep for stragglers. Be right behind you.” Steve said as you all began to plan your next move.

“What about the core?” Clint asked from your side.

“I’ll protect it.” Wanda spoke up. “It’s my job.” She added giving you a look.

“Wanda, be careful.” You said as you all left, leaving her to protect the core. You and your partners got into an abandoned car and followed the directions Tony wired to you.

“We don’t have a lot of time.” Clint said giving your wife a look. Natasha gave him a smirk and jumped out of the car.

“So, get your ass on a boat. Both of you.” She said before running off to help Banner. Clint and you moved to get onto one of the boats but stopped at the sound of a woman crying out for her son. You both scanned the area around you, and you spied a little boy to your right.

“Clint.” You yelled and turned to run towards the small child. Clint’s footsteps echoed behind you as you both sprinted towards the child. Clint snatched the child up and held him tightly as he shielded the boy.

You snapped your head to the side at the sound of gunshots and watched as the machine gun got closer. Thinking fast, you put a force field around Clint and the child and another around a still running Pietro. Bullets began to bounce off your diamond skin and clattered to the ground.

“I’m going to have to thank Polaris for that.” You breathed dropping the two force fields.

“Babe, you’re cracking.” Clint said handing the kid to Pietro. Looking down you saw the cracks appearing on your arms, where the bullets had hit you.

“I’m fine.” You assured. “See.” You added turning your skin back to normal. “I’m good.” Clint gave you one last look over before he nodded.

“Okay. Let’s go.” He said. The four of you quickly made it to one of the boats, the child was taken off Pietro’s hands and you all fell onto the seats or the ground. “We’re fine.” Clint said waving an attendant off. “It’s just been a long day.” He added.

You laid yourself down on Clint’s lap and closed your eyes as he ran his fingers through your hair.

“Thank you for the save.” Pietro said, he sat on the ground in front of you.

“Not a problem.” You said not opening your eyes. “Someone needs to keep your idiot self safe.”

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” Clint murmured into your ear. “You did good out there.”

“I’m fine, Clint, just tired.” You answer lifting your head up. ‘That was fun.” You mentioned with a smile.

“Pretty standard day around here.” He said with a laugh. “Think you want to do this again?”

“Kind of actually.” You said, letting out a breath.

“Maybe you should stick around. We’d get to see each other more often.” Clint offered.

“We’d need to find someone to look after the farm.” You told him.

“We’ll find someone.” Natasha said, lifting your feet and placing them on her lap, as she sat next to you.

“You’re okay.” You breathed grabbing her hand tightly.

“’Course I am, I’m Natasha Barton-Romanoff-L/N.” She said causing Clint to groan.

“We should have thought that hyphenation through.” He groaned, shaking his head. “Way too long.”

“You’re the one who wanted to hyphenate in the first place.” You pointed out with a smile.

The three of you sat on that bench until you made it back to New York. Instead of you going back to the safe house, you joined your partners in the facility.

“Everything hurts.” Clint groaned collapsing onto the bed.

“Get up.” Nat said tapping his leg. “You smell, you need to shower.”

“Such a mean woman.” Clint grumbled. Natasha lead you into the en suite bathroom and the three of you quickly showered under the warm stream of water.

“We did good today.” Clint commented as you all laid in bed. “I’m proud of us.”

“I think we did good enough, that we should get vacation time.” Natasha said with a smile. “Think about it, we could go back to the farm house, spend our days together, with the mutt dog.”

“That sounds nice.” You hummed. “We could do movie nights, give each other massages and break out the good wine.”

“I’ll talk to Steve tomorrow.” Nat promised. The three of you drifted off after hours of talking, finally able to sleep in the same bed after months.

Nat kept her promise and talked to Steve the next day. She mentioned her and Clint would be off site for a while and to not contact them unless absolutely necessary. The good captain didn’t argue a bit.

True to your plans, you all went back to the farm house and promptly went back to bed this time with Lucky. After all the months apart this felt right. This felt safe and it felt great to have your husband and wife back.

Give me feedback. Leave a comment. Give it a like. Reblog. Buy me a KO-FI.

Coming soon;

Natasha x reader x Bucky

Sam x reader x Steve x Natasha

Clint x reader x Natasha x Bucky

Tony x reader x Natasha

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drgreg · 2 years ago

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Basic Practitioner In Imizamo Yethu, Hout Bay, South Africa

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Morikawa now moves to #13 within the World Rankings, and his meteoric rise continues. We all learn about his first 22 starts without lacking a reduce that ended only a few weeks in the past, however then he hits straight back with his 2nd win in his short career. What an experience of a life time. So nicely organized and choreographed. Even the birds played their part. And the meals was most enjoyable.

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Brilliant initiative .BLSA positively deserves to be the winner. Saving the southern ocean’s biodiversity. Our feathered pals Dr Greg Hough want our help to reside in safety and thrive.

There are so many people whose lives you touched and who miss you each day! Sleep the sleep of angels my dearest good friend, till we meet again... Your life was filled with pain and struggling dear Renny but you all the time confirmed such grace and braveness. Know that you just were dearly loved by your father and his household.

Filmed throughout lockdown on a few mobiles together with his wife as his crew, Jamie turns the standard fry up into one thing particular. He additionally shares recipes from the previous. The culinary comp goes cockney in East London this week, where five budding cooks are prepping their jellied eels and Ruby Murrays within the hope of scooping the money prize. Amateur chefs try and wow each other with their culinary abilities, each hosting a cocktail party in the hope that they may win a £1,000 prize. It’s the flip of DJ Melody in Brighton. Melody has high hopes for her West Indian inspired feast, however can be hoping to maximise her possibilities by getting her friends as drunk as attainable.

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Ready to go back tomorrow morning. An as soon as in a lifetime journey that I will cherish forever. BirdLife South Africa doing incredible conservation of birds in South Africa. Trip to Marion Island provided new opportunities for all birders. It was an superior journey with MSC Cruises and am so glad to have had the opportunity to do a bit for conservation and having a brand new discovered love.

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adelaidecity · 6 years ago

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NEW EATERY: Dessert Fries Are On The Menu

Images by Vueey Le. Dessert fries. Dessert. Fries. It sounds good to be true, but Im here to tell you that isnt the case, and we have proof. The Chocolate Chippery is the brainchild of Nasim Said and his wife Natasha. The new eatery can be found in Dernancourt, alongside gourmet chicken shop, The Stuffed Chook (also headed by the Saids). We didnt picture ourselves buying a chicken shop at first, says Nasim Said. My wife was a 2IC at Cibo Norwood and Cibo Prospect for a few years, and my family have had several different shops, so we just thought wed give it a go. And give it a go they have. The Stuffed Chook has been running steadily, and with The Chocolate Chippery soon to trade in the same store, punters will be able to grab both savoury and sweet from the shop. In terms of the dessert fries, the idea was first discussed when the Saids were on their honeymoon in Italy in December, and it stuck. We mix the chips with cinnamon sugar and coat with different ingredients, says Nasim.

Hes shown me the menu, and bloody hell, its the stuff of dreams. Below is a sneak peek: TheOriginal Sweet cinnamon fries layered with fresh strawberries, biscuit crumble and a generous drizzle of chocolate sauce, topped with white chocolatebuttons. OreoSupreme Sweet cinnamon fries, white chocolate sauce, Oreo crumble, chocolate sauce and white chocolatebuttons. The Wagon Wheel Sweet cinnamon fries, drizzled with a berry sauce, biscuit crumble, delicious marsh-mellows and chocolate sauce. Theres also the option to build your own. Yep. The Chocolate Chippery is your oyster (or your fries you get my point). The Chocolate Chippery is tentatively set to open this Sunday. Nasim tells me hes had a hoard of family members and friends in to try the dessert fries already and everyone is pretty damn happy. The dessert fries will also be available on UberEats, the ideal order for a Saturday night in. Nasim also hints at what is essentially a deep fried fairy bread dish (yes, my ten-year-old-self is screaming with joy). You can find The Chocolate Chippery at 840 Lower North East Road, Dernancourt, 5075. span,.wp-review-426973.wp-review-percentage-type .review-list li > span display: inline-block;position: absolute;z-index: 1;top: 23px;left: 45px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 1;color: #ffffff;-webkit-touch-callout: none; -webkit-user-select: none; -khtml-user-select: none; -moz-user-select: none; -ms-user-select: none; user-select: none;.wp-review-426973.wp-review-point-type .wpr-user-features-rating .review-list li > span,.wp-review-426973.wp-review-percentage-type .wpr-user-features-rating .review-list li > span color: inherit;.wp-review-426973.wp-review-point-type .wpr-user-features-rating .review-list li .wp-review-input-set + span,.wp-review-426973.wp-review-percentage-type .wpr-user-features-rating .review-list li .wp-review-input-set + span,.wp-review-426973.wp-review-point-type .wpr-user-features-rating .review-list li .wp-review-user-rating:hover + span,.wp-review-426973.wp-review-percentage-type .wpr-user-features-rating .review-list li .wp-review-user-rating:hover + span color: #fff;.wp-review-426973.review-wrapper.wp-review-star-type .review-list li:nth-child(2n+1) clear: left; 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left: 30px; ]]>Favourite This Post https://glamadelaide.com.au/new-eatery-dessert-fries-are-on-the-menu/

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wamurancountrylife · 8 years ago

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Tick Eradication Program

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Back in November we told you how our goatlets returned with more than just a full belly. We also decided at the time, that rather than douse them in poison, we would try installing something that would recycle annoying pests into food. So I’m happy to say that stage two of the tick eradication program has begun dear reader. After much huffing and puffing, we’ve built “Chicken Manor”. Yes… a veritable chicken mansion, positioned near the base of our goat paddock.

The chicks from November have been installed… along with automatic doors, automatic water systems, automatic backup food supplies… in case they run out of bugs and crawly things to eat… and an automatic watch dog…

We recycled some old plastic drums we were given into nesting boxes, so that when the hens get older they can recycle the bugs and critters into eggs… We also recycled the sawdust from the timber mill into nesting box filler.

Zeigfreid the chicken herder LOVES his chicklets… And it’s reciprocated… We often take the arduous journey to Chicken Manor at wine o’clock, where we sit and watch the little ones race around after their big, black… furry… adopted father. The first few evenings we wondered why the little chicks didn’t go inside to roost when it started to get dark, and then we realised… they were waiting for their parents to lead the way. So Ziggy, Wonder Doris and I went and sat inside the manor, and sure enough… in trudged ten little chickens.

We also learnt that if you sit in the manor on dusk, the little chicks will all hop up onto the perches around you, as if saying good night - before they move into the corner nesting box where they huddle together, tucked in for the evening.

We also realised that with all of this automation, that we’ve now created a self walking dog. All we have to do is open the gate, and Ziggy happily races down the gently sloping mountainside to check on his new flock.

The other realisation though was not so welcome. We have ten perfectly healthy and very very happy chooklets… all sired by speckled rooster. His rooster seed appeared to work well… his offspring are surprisingly good looking. We have Speckled “V2” from Speckled mating with the one of the black hens. We have three perfectly white chicks, two black ones… and of the four that came from the loving embrace of Speckled and the brown hens, we have two that are so good looking, we should sign them up to chicken modelling agencies.

But, did seven of them have to be roosters!

P.S., I wanted to call the new hen house “Fort Fowl”, but the bride won this time.

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#Fort Fowl #Chickens for pest erradication #What to do when you don't have TV #Happy Chooks = Happy Wife #Happy Chickens #Wamuran Country Life

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solokristie · 6 years ago

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Monday 17 June. Beaune et Cluny

Our hosts Phillipe and Nicole brought us pain au chocolat and coffee for breakfast on our terrace, then gave us a tour of their property - the chook house, herb, salad and vegetable gardens, fruit trees and the Pigeonnière. Pigeon is only served in the best, most expensive restaurants in France. Phillipe kills and bakes pigeons for his dinner guests and has promised us such a treat when we next visit. As well as the live pigeons, he showed us a pack of 6 that he had in the freezer. He told us the meat is red and is good to eat especially if you’ve been ill and need building up.

Travelling south on small roads through the vineyards again, we arrived in Beaune. We had just entered a small square when soldiers in tan uniforms and red hats marched in and did a neat manoeuvre to line up in 4 columns ready to march out again. They went through a routine of standing to attention, raising rifles etc. There were about 60 of them but such a motley crew - one row of men and women were only about 5 feet tall, some were really too overweight to be in the army, what do they do, surely not fight? The sergeant gave a command and they started a slow march - at the same time they began to sing. Incredible - a deep mesmerising sound, that resonated off the walls as they moved through the narrow streets. We followed and came into a large square where old men were holding regimental banners. Senior officers spoke a few words, salutes were given, the formation broke up, everyone looked happy. We deduced from a sign that this group had just graduated. I realised what their role in the army is - they go to the front line and start singing - everyone stops fighting to listen. It was phenomenal.

While the soldiers went into Le Halle to drink wine, beer, soft drink and eat little cakes, we went just opposite into Le Hôtel-Dieu, a hospital for the poor, built in 1443 by Nicholas Rolin and his wife Guigone de Salins. The hospital was still in use in 1955, with a few patients housed there as late as 1982. The history, art works, furniture and carefully maintained buildings made it a fascinating place to visit. Over the centuries grateful patients donated plots of vineyards to the hospice and now the wealth that these generate helps fund the current modern hospital in Beaune.

After Beaune we drove south west to Cluny Abbey - viewed the remains from the outside before grabbing a coffee and continuing south through the vineyards to the city of Macon. Our apartment is in St Laurent, on the west bank of the Saone. It was a beautiful, warm evening, we walked across the bridge for dinner in Mâcon.

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thearnoldtully · 6 years ago

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Australia: Small urban horticulture farm at Edenhope a huge success

The King family in their market garden at Edenhope.

Lucas and Alex King run a small-scale intensive market garden and catering business on 0.6 hectares at Edenhope, in Victoria’s West Wimmera.

By Sarah Hudson The Weekly Times June 4, 2019

Excerpt:

Lucas established the garden plot on 0.6 hectares in 2017, following the philosophy of Canadian urban farmer Curtis Stone and French market gardener Jean-Martin Fortier, who advocate easy-to-manage, standardised garden beds and fast-growing, lucrative crops.

As such, Lucas grows a variety of salad leaves, yielding up to 25kg a week almost year-round, which he considers his “fast-cash bread and butter”, in addition to other fast-growing crops, such as beetroots, carrots, baby radish and turnips.

He also grows longer summer crops including cucumbers, capsicum, eggplant and silverbeet, as well as winter crops of cauliflower, cabbage, broccoli and celery.

About a quarter of production is supplied to Edenhope’s supermarket, pub, coffee shop and a greengrocer across the border at Naracoorte, in South Australia.

About a quarter of harvest goes into weekly vegie boxes, picked up or delivered to local residents, and another quarter is sold at a Horsham fresh produce market.

But most ingenious of all, the remaining produce is used in his wife’s King’s Katering company, including Alex’s signature salads sold in 200g biodegradable containers at the supermarket, as well as value-added preserves, and to events across the region: weddings, morning and afternoon teas, lunches and even shearers’ meals.

“Having grown up here, it has always been difficult to get fresh produce in Edenhope, because we’re at the end of the line in Victoria,” Alex, 32, says.

“It always felt like any fresh vegetables had travelled a lot of kilometres before coming here and for that reason Edenhope has always been a meat-and-three-veg town.

“Now growing our own vegetables and making healthy meals out of them, our meals are in demand. The supermarket owner says the moment they hit the shelf, they’re out the door. It’s what people want.

“I even make shearers’ meals for Dad’s farm and they love the salads — still carbs, like potato salad or coleslaw — but with poppy seeds and purple cabbage, so it’s a bit different.”

ALEX was the first to launch her enterprise, in 2013, after meeting Lucas while both were working as firefighters for Victoria’s department of environment, land, water and planning.

With degrees in forensics and biomedical science — “two degrees I’ll never use” — Alex says she fell into catering after initially cooking for the shearers on the family farm and discovering her passion. Since then, she has simply taught herself.

Lucas, meanwhile, grew up on a small farm at Bega, NSW, and hankered for the good life when he moved to Edenhope and met Alex. They now have three children — Scarlett, 6, Lucius, 4 and Indianna, 2.

“I would have been happy being a monk in the mountains,” Lucas, 35, says.

“The way I had grown up on the land was appealing, the idea of self-sufficiency and living basically surrounded by the elements.”

So with zero horticultural knowledge, in 2017 Lucas threw in his full-time job and immersed himself in the teachings of Curtis Stone and Jean-Martin Fortier, implementing their guidelines across the property.

“They are the forerunners of a new movement going around the world for small-scale farming, using standardised production, growing fast-growing, profitable crops,” Lucas says.

Lucas has created four organic plots, each containing 16 beds that measure 1m x 24m, with the 1m width crucial to production.

“For instance, weed matting is made at 1m width, my equipment and tools are designed to work around these measurements, and the sprinkler irrigation too. Because you’re not dealing with different sized beds, it makes farming much easier.”

His biggest initial outlay was a $14,000 walking tractor, which acts like a rotary tiller to prepare beds.

Initially — and after each subsequent harvest — Lucas covers beds with silage tarps for several weeks to deprive the soil of light and moisture. “It’s called stale seed bed and it stops weeds germinating,” he says.

To avoid using synthetic herbicide, he also uses a flame weeder.

Because the Edenhope soil is sandy and largely infertile, Lucas is slowly building up organic matter by applying manure — usually cow or pig — as well as mulching in crops at the end of their life and adding in small amounts of lime. Lucas purchased a push seeder (as recommended by Curtis Stone), which considerably cuts down seed sowing time.

“Curtis loves the number’s game. He’s a pretty smart businessman and can earn $C100,000 a year on a quarter of an acre (1000sq m), with fast-growing salad leaves and microgreens. But where Curtis is tailored to feeding restaurants and high-end sellers, Jean is more focused on vegie boxes and farmers’ markets.

“So when I started growing salads and was inundated, saturating the market too quickly, I diversified in market garden-type crops. Even if they don’t get the best price, it offers the customer different options.”

“Inundated” is putting it mildly. When Lucas first grew his mix of salad varieties — including red and green mustards, tatsoi, baby red Russian, kale, spinach and rocket — in his first three weeks he had 21kg of greens.

“It was a big shock because I’d gone from nothing and within three weeks I had massive farm production,” he says. “I was a farmer but at that time had no one to sell it to.”

Leafy greens beginning to grow. Leafy greens beginning to grow. He also learnt the hard way the importance of having a salad harvester, as well as a wash and pack area and coolroom.

Now Lucas harvests the salad leaf with a oscillating blade, driven by a drill, which can pick a bed in 15 minutes, “rather than using a knife for hours”.

He has a giant tub to wash salad leaf in his shed, alongside a giant spinner in a converted washing machine, then bags and labels the mixed salad leaf, before refrigerating it in his 2m x 2m cool room.

Aside from logistics, so far Lucas has encountered no significant hurdles: “things want to grow”.

Leeks haven’t been a great success, so they’re off the list, while he’s decided to shut the garden beds through the hottest days of summer.

Cabbage moth is the only pest to have posed a risk, for which Lucas will net the garden beds.

He has a rotation for heavy feeding crops, such as tomatoes, always growing something different every other year, but adds the salad greens do not require a rotation.

The Kings also have 10 chooks that not only supply eggs, but eat bugs and insects and Lucas is also in the process of establishing a permaculture food forest of trees to house beneficial insects.

For two years Lucas has had a part-time off-farm job, but will this year go full time on the property.

“I love working on the property, being home, ducking in for lunch and being with the family,” he says.

“It’s rewarding going out and picking fresh produce to eat.”

Adds Alex: “Every day I’m grateful for our life and this lifestyle.”

King’s Katering and Farm Produce

Lucas and Alex King run a small-scale intensive market garden and catering business on 0.6 hectares at Edenhope, in Victoria’s West Wimmera. They grow salad leaves and vegetables, selling fresh produce and value-added salads, preserves and pickles, run a vegie box delivery service and cater for events.

Where: Edenhope, West Wimmera

More info: facebook.com/KingsKatering

Read the complete article here.

from Gardening http://cityfarmer.info/australia-small-urban-horticulture-farm-at-edenhope-a-huge-success/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

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adambstingus · 7 years ago

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20+ Of The Most Unbelievably Smart Things Pets Have Done That Surprised Their Owners

Our pets are so precious to us, they are far more than just animals that we look after and have around for company. They become our best friends, and part of the family. Although it’s very easy to bond emotionally with our pets, sharing a cuddle or playing games together will do that, being on the same wavelength intellectually is less common.

Sure, you can train your dog, hamster or rat to be obedient, (cats too, but that may prove to be a little more difficult!) but what we have here are true geniuses, unique personalities that go far beyond what we would imagine from an animal!

This list, compiled by Bored Panda, is about those times when animals have surprised us with their intelligence. When people were able to understand just what their pets were thinking, and communicate with them on a higher level! Scroll down to check them out for yourself, and feel free to share your own articulate animals stories in the comments below!

This is a completely true story. Weird, but true, and shows a really impressive level of intelligence in my cat. It happened when I was a teenager.

I’m sitting on the couch, and my cat walks into the room and starts meowing loudly, but not coming to me. So I stand up and go toward him, and he starts walking away, so I follow. He leads me, meowing the whole way and looking back to make sure I’m following, to the bathroom. Weird, right? Just wait.

So we’re in the bathroom, and he hops up on the toilet and, get this, he PEES IN IT. I was floored. One, he peed in the toilet. Like a person. He’d never done that before. It’s impressive that he knew what a toilet was for. But two, he brought me there to show me. Why? This is where the real intelligence comes into it.

Well, he stops peeing and turns to look into the toilet and then looks at me. So I look in the toilet. It’s full of blood. He had a terrible kidney infection (as the vet later confirmed), and this is how he told me.

Think of all the things he had to understand to do this!! He had to know he was sick and in which part of his body the infection was. He had to know that the bathroom was the place where I deal with the part of my body that matches up with his sick part. He had to know what a toilet was for and how to use it. And he knew that if I understood the problem, I’d be able to fix it.

Seriously, that cat was incredible.

We used to have a cockatoo, as well as some cats and dogs.

We were teaching the dogs some tricks, and the cockatoo was just doing his bird thing. Every day, the same routine: get some treats, call the dogs, sit, stay, lay down, roll over, get a treat, etc.

One night we were watching TV and hear the cockatoo call the dog by name. “Sit. Stay. Lay down. Roll over. Good Boy”. We heard something hit the floor, and then he called out the next dog’s name.

Walked into the kitchen to find the cockatoo in the spot we always stand, giving orders to the dogs (who were obeying!), and then pulling treats out of the cup and dropping them on the floor. This went on for some time.

Dogs now liked the cockatoo, and would let him ride on their backs. Cockatoo would call them, tell them to lay down, would climb on, and ride around like a king.

The dogs knew what’s up, would walk to the kitchen, and stand by the counter. Cockatoo would hop up and drop them a treat, say “good boy”, and hop back on.

Funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

I am diabetic and one night I fell on my carpet from weakness and disorientation. My beloved dog, who now rests in Heaven, brought my emergency kit from my bathroom counter so I could take my medication.

Just writing this post brought tears to my eyes.

I will always remember you Bumper.

My cat yawned, so I stuck a finger in his mouth. He sort of stared at my curiously as he shut his mouth, but didn’t bite down hard. A few minutes later, he’s sitting on my chest and I yawn. He proceeds to put his whole paw in my mouth.

When was I was young my family moved a long distance with two pets, a cat and a dog. My mom said that cats can try to run off to find home after a move so we had a cat collar with a long leash to hold her while we were unloading the trailers. I heard my Australian Shepherd bark twice on the back porch. Abby NEVER barked unless something was serious. I ran back there and my cat had run around a chair many times and then jumped off the chair with not enough room on leash to be on ground and was hanging there choking. When I rounded the corner Abby was trying to chew through the leash. Best dog ever. Both cat and dog lived long happy lives.

I witnessed this with my uncle’s dog. My uncle was lying on the couch and she was lying on his feet and legs. He let out a huge fart which was aimed directly at her face. She lifted her head and glared at him and he started laughing. She got up and walked away in disgust. A few minutes later she came back, jumped up on his chest, stuck her butt in his face and farted on him and walked away. I laughed so hard I cried and gave her so many treats.

First Christmas we had our cat she saw us handing out presents and opening them and abruptly ran off. About twenty minutes later she comes back with a dead bird and dropped it in the present pile. It’s uh definitely the thought that counts?

I had the best dog ever. One night I was fast asleep and he was gently “biting” my hand just enough to wake me up. Once I woke up he started tugging on it as if to say, follow me. It was so weird. SO I follow him and he leads me to the side door or my house, sits facing the door and barks ever so silently. I then realize someone is outside picking the lock. I called 911. It was a drunk guy, no idea what his intentions were once he got in, but my dog for some reason managed to get him arrested. He probably would have been scared away had my dog just barked, but for some reason the old boy wanted to alert me quietly.

When I was an infant, I was in my crib next to my parents bed. I somehow got twisted up and started suffocating in my blanket. This cat jumped on my mom’s face until she woke up, then jumped into my crib. Had it not been for her, I would have died.

My golden retriever leaves a shoe on the bed, without fail, for my wife or I to find if we are both gone at the same time. My theory is that she did it once, and we came home, so now she does it every time we leave to ensure that we come back. Like a doggy superstition.

After doing this for years, my wife had to leave the state for a week. My first day back from work, there was a shoe on the bed. Normal. After my second day back (wife is still gone), there were three shoes on the bed. After my third day returning from work alone, every shoe and boot in the house was laid out on the bed and couches, and all of my wife’s dirty socks were in a bowl.

It may not be the smartest thing she’s ever done, but it really made me think about how she thinks.

When I was a kid, we had two dogs: a Pyrenean Shepherd, and a Labrador Retriever. The Retriever was a goofy idiot, but the Shepherd was smart.

One day, the Retriever gets loose (we had to tie him up in the yard because he kept chasing things and running away), and the Shepherd runs after him. We never even realized what had happened until we saw the Shepherd coming back with the Retriever, holding the would-be runaway’s leash in his mouth, and leading him back to the house.

Must have been a weird sight for the neighbors.

If all of the spots on the couch were taken, my dog would scratch the door to go out and when someone gets up he would take their spot.

My cat (about 4 months old at the time) hadn’t come back for at least 2 days and I looked for her everywhere. I was getting worried since she never really left for more then a couple of hours. I guess my Labrador sensed how worried I was and realized it was because of the cat. So he decided to run out the door, while I wasn’t playing attention. (He also knows how to open doors.) I didn’t realize till later and I thought I had lost both of them. When around 8pm I heard meowing coming from outside. When I looked outside I saw my lab holding my kitten by the head.

My chickens held a funeral.

In our flock of maybe ten bantams, there was one elderly, respected hen. Even the brash rooster, who would spend most of his time chasing other chickens away from ‘his’ feed, meekly made space for Grey Girl when she slowly made her way over to the chicken feed. She was mother and grandmother to many of them, and you could tell how much they esteemed her.

One morning, I open the chicken coop as usual, but not a chook was to be seen. Normally they’d be all running out to find the night’s bounty of bugs, but not this morning. I walk inside the pen to see what’s up.

There is a circle of chickens. An actual circle, with Grey Girl’s body right in the middle. All the chooks are making this weird wailing sound, which I had never heard before. I am in no doubt they were mourning the passing of their elder mother.

What’s more, the body was lying outside the shed where she would have been roosting. There is a good chance that she was actually pulled out of the claustrophobic, poo-filled shed and placed in the open space by the chickens, so they could pay their respects.

After about half an hour the chooks all wandered off and I buried the body. And I never saw that behaviour again.

We had a dog that liked to roam the neighborhood too much so we installed one of those wireless fences that give a shock from a collar when you cross it. The law requires it to beep and give a warning before the shock to train the dog to stop, which is good. But she figured out that if she got near it then it would start beeping. So she went to where the beeping started and laid down. Then just lay there until the beeping stopped and she knew the battery was drained and too weak to shock her so she would just walk across.

Not current pet but a dog I had as a teenager.

Dog jumps up on the couch

“No, you’re not allowed on the couch, go lie in your bed”

Dog leaves the room. A moment later he returns with his bed and throws it on the couch. Gets back up on the couch in his bed and stares at me.

“… Fair enough…”

My neighbor is a zoo-keeper and he loves working with the chimpanzees and the otters.

Story about the chimp: he was closing up this one male chimps sleeping cage for the night, and then realised he’d lost his keychain. He saw the chimp holding them, and asked to get them back. Chimp refused. He then said “here, I will give you a banana for the keys!” Chimp then proceeded to unhook ONE key from the key chain and hand it back to him. 18 bananas later, and the keys were returned. This chimp is quite famous in Scandinavia – he was rejected from his mom as a newborn and was raised with the zoo-keepers family until he was re-introduced to the flock around a year later. There’s books and TV-series (from the 70s) about him.

I had a German shepherd when I was little that would run around our backyard and frantically (but very gently) remove any toads he found from the yard when he saw us getting ready to mow the lawn. He was the sweetest guy.

My old pit bull just knew when I was suicidal and came for cuddles. Just would sit there whilst I cried into her fur and patiently wait it out then lick me and stay longer.

My dog is super sneaky. He’s not allowed on the furniture, and never ever tries to get up on the couch or bed unless we invite him. One day I was taking a shower and had forgotten a body wash I had just purchased, so I left the shower running and ran out to my room to grab it really fast. I found him on the couch happily rolling around on his back. As soon as he realized I was there he froze for a moment, jumped off the couch and ran to his bed. That’s when I realized the little jerk waits for me to get in the shower to get on the furniture and knows to listen for me to turn the shower off so he knows when to stop!

I snuck downstairs and watched my small dog delicately push the chairs and a couple cardboard boxes around into an specific orientation, then wildly parkour across the objects in order to get to my dinner sitting on the table. He also carefully moved the fork out of the way using his claws so that it wouldn’t make any noise. I notified him of my presence right before he started eating and he just froze and then looked really guilty. In addition, when I have a panic attack, my dog will sometimes bring me his favorite stuffed animal because I assume he thinks it will comfort me like it comforts him.

One of my cats learned how to turn the internet off. I mean, he realized everbody goes crazy when he goes behind the TV stand and messes up with the wires.

So when we’re not paying enough attention to him (usually if we’re on our phones or the computer), he just unplugs the router. I don’t think he knows how much power he has.

Every morning for breakfast I always eat fruit and that weekend there was a farmers market selling fruit for cheap so I bought a TON. I couldn’t fit them in the fridge so I left a few bags on the side in the dining room (reachable distance)

I shit you not, I woke up and was surprised to see an apple next to me. Over the next few days, my dog would get up in the morning, go in the bag, and get a fruit to put next to me on the bed. He proceeded to do this for the next two weeks until we ran out.

My dog Bailey (Lab/Husky) and her BFF Tess (Boxer) were in our backyard playing around. Tess, being a total idiot as usual, decided to go exploring in the back (all forest, hills, creeks and such) and takes off. Not wanting to lose both dogs, my daughters called Bailey to stay.

They tried calling Tess for 10 minutes before they found me to come help. I came and tried the same for a few minutes. Once I realized that there were no sights or sounds of Tess, I turned to Bailey, and said, “Bailz, where’s Tess?”

We played this game with Bailey regularly. She would find anyone in our family if you asked her to. So I sent her off into the forest looking for Tess. No hesitation on Bailey’s part.

Another 10 minutes go by. Sun is going down. Forest is quiet. We start calling for Bailey to return. Sure as shit, not 2 minutes later, they both come back. It was from some distance too as we could hear them crashing through the bush a ways off.

Bailey knew she done good. Acted like she just cured cancer. Many cookies were had.

I had a cat that learned how to open the fridge, and then my dog started begging my cat for food. And then the cat started getting into the fridge just to feed the dog.

I patiently await the day where my pets decide to overthrow me and have me fixed. I’m not fighting it, that’ll only make it worse in the long run.

While I was out, my dog pulled a piece of paper out of the trash and pooped on it so that he wouldn’t poop on the floor.

I had a cat, a good friend, a long long time ago whom I still miss. He was a big tabby with awesome tan/orange stripes. I would climb up to the roof sometimes to avoid my housemates and relax and stare at the moon. One night I climbed up there, and he was up there. He saw me and seemed to get very happily excited to see me. He ran to one edge of the roof, looked down, then looked at me. Then, he ran to another edge, looked down, looked at me. He did that at every edge. I figured out what he was doing. At the last one, I said, “ok. Thank you for showing me. Don’t worry. I won’t go too far and fall off.” He looked very satisfied, walked to me, and laid on my chest, and we watched the moon together.

One of my cats back when I was a kid, Thomas, got a urinary tract infection somehow. We would’ve never known because he’s both an indoor and outdoor cat and usually went outside to relieve himself.

One day he jumped up into the bathroom sink, pushed the plunger down to stop the water leaving the basin, and pissed in it. Afterward he stood over it crying until someone came and saw the bloody urine in the bowl.

He found a way to directly tell us “Yo, something’s wrong with me.”

He could also open doors on his own.

My gentle giant of a newfoundland did that growl once.

We were on a road trip and I had to pee. Accidently picked a gas station in a bad part of town but I had to go. Left the dog in the car and while I went in i got asked for money to which I responded I don’t have any on me. Had the following conversation on the way out.

Him: “I’ll walk you to your car so you can find your money”

Me: “no”

Him (while following me): “it’s no big deal I can wait for you to find it”

I’m freaking out now trying to figure out of I can get into the car and lock the door fast enough. Come back to see my newfoundland – the gentlest dog ever baring get big ass teeth and doing the once in a lifetime growl through a cracked window.

The guy SPRINTED away. Then We drove through a McDonald’s and got her a whole cheese burger (which she never gets)

I had a pair of gold fish that grew to be quite large. Their names were nemo and toad. When nemo was dying toad did everything in his power to “revive” him. Including swimming alongside him and under him to boost him up and giving up larger potions of the food. After the nemo passed away toad got super depressed. He wouldn’t eat at all and spent all day moving the little pebbles at the bottom of the fish tank from one side of the tank to the next. he died not long after

My chocolate lab woke me up one night barking in my face. I was really mad because he does that. When i got up to see what was up I soon realized I was having a massive Heart Attack. He saved my life. Thanks Luke.

We lived in an apartment complex that didn’t allow pets. Unfortunately the people who frequently drove into the complex and dumped unwanted cats & dogs weren’t aware that residents weren’t allowed to have pets. One evening, there was an orange tabby crying piteously in the yard behind our building just 25 yards from one of the busiest roads in our city. The neighbor across the breezeway said that she saw him tossed out of a car that morning. I was worried that he would get creamed on the road and spent two hours sitting in the grass next to him with a bowl of ground hamburger to earn his trust. I had no idea what I was going to do with him after that, I just didn’t want to see him starve or get run over.

After a few weeks we worked out a living arrangement – he stayed in the apartment during the day with food and water and a bed and then went outside at night. We had to keep his presence hidden so that the apartment management wouldn’t fine us or evict us. We couldn’t keep cat food bowls outside or a litter box inside (the staff collected garbage, so they’d know if I was dumping used cat litter). Due to his effervescent personality we started calling him Jonsey, the Shithead (Aliens reference). We were working on a solution house him permanently, but it was going to be a few more months before we could either get him into a rescue or move to a new residence that allowed pets.

One night, during a round of terrible thunderstorms and heavy rain Jonsey was less than thrilled to head outside and we weren’t hot on the idea either. So he curled up in the corner of the couch and we headed to bed. The following morning I woke up and stumbled for the coffee maker. My husband asked me if the reason I was so tired was because I was up late cleaning up after the cat. I had no idea what he was talking about. He told me to look in the kitchen sink. There was a dishrag lying in the bottom of the sink and when I moved it there was cat poop in the drain. It took me few seconds to figure out what I was looking at and what it meant. To my husband it looked as if I had cleaned up cat poop and, in disgust had just thrown it in the sink to deal with it in the morning. What had actually happened was that Jonsey needed to use the bathroom and, instead of using any of my many houseplants, the corner, or just about anywhere else, he had chosen the absolute best alternative to a litter box available to him – the empty kitchen sink. He’d done his business and courteously covered it over with the dishtowel I always kept draped over the neck of the faucet. He earned a forever home with us and we moved to a house a few months after that.

We had pot belly pigs when we were little because my brother and I were allergic to cats and dogs. Smart little f*ckers. My brother and I would always yell “MOM! MOM!”, so one day my mom left for a couple days and the pigs got upset. One of them started squealing and then opening it’s mouth so it sounded like “MMMMMAMAMA”. Then the other one started doing it. So we had two pigs in the house screaming for mama. It was creepy as f*ck.

On the few days I get to sleep in, if my cat decides his breakfast is too late he has learned to wake me up for it.

early on, I apparently learned to sleep through his MRROOOOOOOWs by the bedside; as time went by, I learned to roll over & ignore him when heâ€™d bat at me with his pawsâ€¦

â€¦so heâ€™s learned to get me up the one way I canâ€™t sleep through: heâ€™ll take a single claw & drag it very gently over my eyelid. it doesnâ€™t hurt at all, but Iâ€™m hard-pressed to think of a more peculiar feeling.

When I was in high school, my cat P.C. (short for personal computer which was my Dadâ€™s idea) woke my Dad up in the middle of the night by knocking herself into my parentsâ€™ door and meowing very loudly. My Dad began to follow her downstairs not knowing why and she stopped at the air vent in the kitchen. My Dad immediately turned off the air. Turns out something caught on fire in the vent and the smoke detector hadnâ€™t picked it up yet.

I’ve had dogs all my life but the 3 I have now are all very special to me. They’re seriously smart. They’ll turn on the outside hose when they get thirsty on a hot day(even though they have ice water inside) but they’ll also get the bathroom door open when you’re taking a shower and turn the shower off when they think you’ve been showering for too long.

They’re very smart but very scary. When my SO and I were walking around after we got done setting the tent up at a family camping trip(my SOs family) I went to go take a leak. So I took two of our German Shepherds to the bathroom with me and left her with one. She can handle them all of course but with deer and squirrels and stuff you just don’t know. I trust them to listen to her but why take a chance.

So while I’m in the bathroom and my two dogs are hanging around outside I hear a distant but very angry and aggressive bark. Now, my dogs are very well trained and don’t bark for no reason unless told to. I hear one of my two let out a “wtf?” bark and another distant bark from my SOs dog.

At that point my dogs start going crazy so I’m like what the f**k might as well let them go. I let them go and they just barrel over to where I left my SO, I’m talking full run and barking. Of course I pick my pace up and I get a look at the situation. It’s three guys cornering in on my lady. Only thing holding them off was the dog she had.

I have to tell my SO to let her dog go right as my two get to her. All the dogs pounced at what seemed like exactly the same time and they all end up on the ground.

But after that my dogs just take a seat right on top of the three guys. They don’t even try to fight the dogs off at that point. Ten seconds later after I called the dogs off I figure out why. All three dogs have bitten almost through one of each guys arms.

It’s smart not to f**k with someone with a dog, or worse multiple dogs.

I had taken my german shepherd out for a hike in an abandoned conservation area. It was a hot day, there was a creek with a deep pool, so I decided to strip nekkid and go for a swim. The dog and I splashed around a bit, then we got out, I pulled on my clothes, and carried on down the trail.

My dog, however, wouldn’t follow. She was starting at something in the grass. I called, she looked up at me and then looked back at the grass. I went over to see what was so enthralling… turns out my car keys had fallen out of my pocket and she wasn’t budging until I picked them up.

I have pet rats. One of them broke a tooth, and the infection spread to her brain (the teeth go all the way up above the brain). I had her on antibiotics, but she was a bit “tilted” to one side. When they were out on a table, I noticed her falling over near the edge of the table, and was afraid that she would fall.

However, before I have time to react and move, another of my rats walk up to her, takes a firm but careful grip around the base of her tail and pulls her away from the edge of the table.

Now, I know one should be careful in placing human thoughts in animal heads, but usually, a rat “biting” another rat’s tail is a surefire way to start a fight, and I can’t see any other reason to do it except that she saw ahead, noticed the potential problem, figured out what to do to solve it and implemented that solution.

My cat has figured out how to turn on my heated mattress pad. Its just a little foot pedal near the headboard. With out fail I come home everyday to it cranked and her cuddled down near the foot of my bed, where the coils double.

In the winter I sometimes wake up hot as hell and realize she’s turned it on while I was sleeping.

I was at the park with my dog and started talking to another dog owner. He got bored and decided to leave without me. As soon as I realised I ran out of the park to find him walking down the street toward my house, the road was pretty busy so I nearly shat myself and started sprinting down the street after him.

I saw him look both ways, wait for the traffic to stop for him and then cross the road.

By the time I caught up to him he had already crossed and was just having a casual stroll home.

About two weeks ago, just before we had to have him put down, I went to pick him up from the vets. They said he had improved overnight, the moment they said he could go home he jumped off my lap and went straight to the door. He kept looking back at me as if to tell me to hurry up.

He was a brilliant dog.

I work at a pet store, and a big part of the job is listening to people talk about how great their average-ass pets are. But man, every now and then you get a good one. We have a family that owns a couple of African Grey parrots. When the kids were teenagers, the parents went out of town for the weekend, specifying there should be no parties whatsoever in their absence. Naturally the kids throw the party, and manage to clean up brilliantly. They almost got away with it until at dinner the night the parents returned, the Greys started making this whole new range of sounds including the sound of a beer pop tab opening, and the sounds of ping pong balls hitting plastic cups and the floor. Busted by birds.

She saved my life. I was sleeping, and started going into a diabetic seizure. My SO at the time was a very heavy sleeper (her dog). She jumped on the bed, whining and barking until my SO woke up. Ambulance was called, life was saved.

There was a fire in my building once. My old kitty yelled at me until I followed her into a low corner of the bedroom. The air there was much clearer and I hid there with her until I was rescued by the firemen. She saved me that day. She’s gone now, but she was my best friend for 18 years.

When I was a stupid kid, I was eating warhead hard candies. Instead of eating them like a normal person, I was squeezing one end and shooting it into my mouth. Well, I squeezed too hard and it got lodged in my throat. I made it to the back door (my dad was in the garage) before I collapsed. My cat ran out, and started swatting at my dad and got him to follow her. That was scary.

I have two horses, Red, and Mickey.

They are yarded next to each other, and there is enough of a gap in the fence that a clever horse may work out that they can just manage to pinch the others hay through it.

Red took it a step further and realised that if he could steal Mickey’s hay, Mickey could steal his…

So he waits until Mickey is distracted by his bucket feed, and then Red takes his own hay from his own feeder and deposits it across the yard, where it’s safe.

He then goes back and takes Mickey’s hay and deposits it where it is safe.

Then Red eats his hard feed and two lots of hay.

We had to move all the hay feeders.

My youngest son, a two time cancer winner, was recovering from a particularly ugly round of methotrexate. He was home recovering and my Pomeranian, who was always at my heel,wouldnâ€™t leave his side. I was curious but not concerned and continued my morning chores. I was in the next room when Ping came in like Lassie and barked until I came to see. He returns to my sons side and began to shiver. My son was playing xbox, and seemed ok. I turned to go back to my chores and Ping let out a howl I didnâ€™t think he was capable of and as I turned my son was seizing, full grand mal seizures that I recall clearly 11 years later. I was just in time to keep him from hitting head first on the hardwood floors. We just put my little Ping down last month. He was my best friend for 17 years, and my sons hero forever. We miss you Ping.

I had a genius ferret. All of my ferrets were smarter than you might expect, but Mia was ridiculous. I have tons of stories, but hereâ€™s my favourite.

My roommates and I used to hangout in a TV room that had door way with no door (entranceway?). Since I wanted the ferret to be able to run around while we were there, I put a baby gate across the exit. Took her ten seconds to climb it, of course.

I then wrapped the gate in carpet runner, so she couldnâ€™t scale it. She tried for a long time, but could find anything to get a grip on. Three of us are all kind of marveling at her commitment.

She stops trying to climb, and just freezes for a minute, her eyes panning around the room like sheâ€™s concocting a scheme, and then she starts eyeballing a shoebox on the other side of the room. Eyes up on the gate, back to the box, back to the gate. My buddy says â€œNo f*cking way. You think sheâ€™s figured it out?â€

She walks over to the box and starts sliding it across the floor, stopping every foot or so and checking her progress. Finally gets to the gate, hops on the box and jumps up and grabs the top of the gate. Whoop sheâ€™s up and over and dancing down the hallway.

Dogs are awesome. I had a gentle giant growing up and once a guy drove up the road at double the legal speed in a narrow, twisted medieval street near a school, almost hitting both my dad and my dog.

My dad loudly yelled “asshole” and gestured at the car, and the guy, proving he was even more an asshole than previously thought, stopped his car, got out and did a few steps to threaten my dad.

My dog gently sat down, managed to make his fur double in size, and did the kind of growl you only hear dogs do once or twice in their lifetime, the kind that says “You better not make one more step”. My dad did not even have the time to think of an answer before the guy did a full U turn and got back in his car to drive away.

My dad had a hard time telling us the story because he was laughing so much at the face the guy made.

Also, seeing it’s about being intelligent, my old dog understood how to open silently the doors where the treats where and close them back, but never did it when someone was around. We had to film him.

He also figured out once that every now and then, some old ladies would gather up in the house next door which was owned by the municipality to host club events. He knew when they would come somehow and would climb the garden wall to get some biscuits from them. I miss him.

I once tried to put my roommate’s dog in his kennel. Sweet dog–he obeyed me and went inside without a fuss, then looked at me like, “okay, now what?” I closed the door, put the latch down, and told him to stay in there like a good boy. He gave me this look that said “are you serious with this?” Without missing a beat, he calmly lifted the latch with his nose and walked out of the kennel.

I have a three month old pup who got dirt in her eye one day. Th eye kept tearing up and she held it partilly shut for a few hours. During that time I felt really bad for her and handed out a lot of treats. Since then, when I am eating, she begs by winking that eye with a tiny whimper. Her wink is nonstop. If she’s called by someone else in the home she looks at them with perfect eyes. I get the “broken eye” Once she gets the goods -fully working eyes.

When I was raising my chicks and they were about adolescent age, my one hen died suddenly. I got home and her brother was having a fit in the coop, then when I pulled her out to go bury her he just sat and watched completely silent. I picked him up to return him to the coop, and he just closed his eyes, settled down, and sat completely silent in my arms for about an hour. It broke my heart. I never knew chickens could mourn until then.

We had one remarkably intelligent pet rat. There was a number of intelligent things he did, but here are some highlights.

His much larger older brother was keeping him away from one of the food dishes on the first level. He chews a hole in the bottom of a box on the top level and moves it down to the first level. He manages to move the box, with him inside it, and the hole he chewed perfectly aligned with the food dish. He camped his box right over the bowl, with him in it, blocking his brother out, where he could eat in peace.

He was the master of manipulating his environment. Inside their cage was a number of levels and boxes. He would push them around, nest them, or chew them to get wherever he wanted to go. It was like watching someone playing a video game where they had to arrange boxes to get where they wanted. It was all the more impressive given he had limited mobility from his rear legs, and more than compensated in this way.

We would put puzzles filled with treats in their cage to give them something to solve. Without fail he was always the one to solve them, no matter how many layers we would put on them.

He had a few tumors removed over the course of his life. Without fail he always seemed to remove his stitches a day or so before he was scheduled to go back in for removal. Provided he could reach them. Everyone else would either leave them be or immediately try to remove them.

No matter where you would put food blocks, he would carefully pick them up and place them in designated food bowls.

He was extremely vocal in the way some dogs, like huskies are. Unlike others he would modulate his squeaks to try and communicate.

RIP Felix, you brilliant little rat.

I had a yabbie in my freshwater tank that is a genius. I one day watched him gather some food pellets into his cave, wait for the fish today eat the rest then a few minutes later place them in front of the cave entrance, then attacked and ate a fish that came to eat the pellets.

He stockpiled his meal to later bait an even better meal. That f*cker is in his own tank now.

The smartest thing I’ve seen my cat do is referee when my girlfriend’s kitten was trying to fight her older cat. We were initially terrified because my cat was found as a stray and you can tell that he’s had his ass kicked in a few fights back in the day.

When we adopted him, when he’d hear the other cats start playfighting, he’d rush out to be there too. He weighed about twice as much as the next biggest cat, and we knew almost nothing about his personality at the time, so of course this filled us with terror. Well, we followed him out into the next room, and he had just managed to perch himself on the coffee table, above the action, and was just watching.

When the older cat switched from playing to getting genuinely exasperated with the kitten, he tagged in so the other cat could get away. For months he would do this, so we figured he may have helped raise kittens when he was stray.

Anyway, his personality is great, and he’s a sweet dumb boy and the best lap cat you could ask for. The vet at the shelter thought he would want to be an outside cat, but once we got him home it was very plain that that was not the case. I could leave the door open all day and he wouldn’t go anywhere; this cat has no interest in being outdoors again.

I have a parrot. We have a black cat called shadow and he comes when we say his name. One day I hear Oliver (my parrot) saying “Shadow! Shadow!” while he’s in the kitchen on the stool. I look outside and shadow is at the door begging to be let in.

Also once I accidentally woke Oliver up and he started grumbling, “sh*t sh*t sh*t!”

My roommate’s dog. We were taking care of another dog for a few days and he was staying at our house. They got along well enough, but visitor dog kept trying to play and resident dog never wanted to. One evening, resident dog walks in to the living room to find visitor dog is in her favorite spot on the couch. She immediately barks, drops into a play bow, and starts jumping around to play with him. Visitor dog gets super excited that she finally wants to play and abandons the couch. Resident dog drops the playacting and reclaims her rightful throne.

Carries his bone to you and pushes it into your hand. Then he starts chewing the other end of it while you hold it. When you try to pull on the bone to maybe start a tug-of-war game with him, he stops chewing and gives you a look like, “What the heck? Just hold it. You’re the one with opposable thumbs.”

Not my current dog, but the family dog we got when I was a teenager. I came home and went to my room and she’s just barking for no reason. Not furiously, but an unfamiliar cadence and enough to be annoying. I finally come out of my room to see what she wants. I look out the window and see my car trunk lid hadn’t latched all the way and was wide open. Not that I had much of value in there, but as a broke college student in a neighborhood where anything not nailed down gets stolen, I thought it was pretty awesome of her. She got extra treats and pets that day.

Husband used to have a large cat who, if his breakfast was “late”, would live the toilet seat up a few inches with his head then let go . BAM-bam-bam-m-m-m

I put a pot of water on the stove and while waiting for it to boil I went and got involved in something else and forgot about it.

After a while my siamese kitten came in and started meowing at me, in a very insistent way. I figured she just wanted attention so I gave her a few pets and just kept doing my thing.

She kept meowing and started poking her claws into my ankles, not drawing blood but definitely enough to get my attention. She ran to the door and looked back meowing, so I followed her. She led me to the kitchen where the pot was starting to smoke because all of the water had boiled off.

You know she got her favorite wet food and so many snuggles.

My former boss had a parking lot clean-up and lawn maintenance business. He would send his two collies out around the parking lots collecting trash, and they’d bring it back to his truck. They loved it. It was amazing to see.

About the otters, one summer an otter escaped from their enclosure, and was seen around the zoo/amusement park, swimming around people who had hired rowing and pedal boats. He’d go up to guests to beg for snacks, etc. All summer the guards tried to catch him, but he learned to recognise their uniforms, and stayed away. They finally succeeded in catching him when the guards dressed in civvies.

My first cat ended up going through renal failure which caused him to urinate a lot. I would clean his box every day but sometimes I would get home from work late and he didn’t like that. He started using the toilet all on his own. I caught him one afternoon while cleaning the house. I was sweeping the hallway and as I passed the bathroom I heard the sound of peeing in the toilet. As I continued sweeping past the door it dawned on me that my husband was at work, leaving me home alone. So now I’m slightly disturbed and I slowly back up, broom in hand, and peer around the door jam into the bathroom. My cat is sitting on the toilet urinating and giving me a look that screams he wants some privacy. I was in so much shock I just gave him his privacy and went back to sweeping. After that day he refused to use his box anymore and in the final months of his life I actually had to go out and by him a trainer potty so he wouldn’t have to jump up on the toilet anymore. The lady at Walmart thought I was playing a prank on her when I told her what I needed the potty for.

My cat figured out how to fill up my bathtub. He learned how to close the drain and would turn the water handle and would just sit there and watch the tub slowly fill up. It took me weeks to figure out what was going on.

I had a very smart and wonderful golden retriever, Emma.

She would sometimes try trading one of her gross rawhide chews for something we were holding if she wanted it–she once dropped her toy in my dad’s lap, nudged it towards him, and started “speaking” (not like a bark, more like dog complaining) while nodding at the apple he held.

She would also distract our book smart but not street smart other golden if she wanted the toy the other dog had. She’d take a random toy, go up to one of us and make a big deal, jumping and barking and playing with us with the toy. Then when book smart dog dropped her toy and ran to see what all the fuss was about, Emma would immediately leave us and grab book smart’s toy and run off with it.

One time she found a hurt dove and brought it to us in her mouth, holding it so gently.

When my son was a baby, he was teething really bad. Constantly running a fever and cranky. we gave him lots of the tylenol suspension drops. One morning I had the baby wedged in the recliner while I was looking for something. Of course he was crying. Our dog, looked at the baby, ran upstairs, came back down a few seconds later with the tylenol, dropped it in the recliner where it rolled to the baby. Then the dog turned to me and barked until I picked it up.

My cat knows that old grocery bags are what I scoop his crap into, so when I slip up and forget to clean his litter box he drags one in there to let me know.

My step dad was a serious alcoholic (still is) however before he met myself and my mother he has this beautiful Staffie.

Multiple people confirmed that if he was in the bar and the dog was worried. It could get out of the house. Onto a bus and to the main strip. It would then go in every bar one by one looking for him. If he didn’t find him, he would go back to one specific bar and sit on a chair and wait for him.

Early in the morning, I open our sliding glass door to let my dog out. She stands there staring at me as I tell her to go to the bathroom and motion outside. After a 10 second staring contest I attempt to lead her outside by first going out myself. I then proceed to walk into the sliding screen door I failed to open and knock it off the rails. That was when I knew my dog was smarter than me.

Our cat hears the mailman delivering the mail through the letter slot in the door. He races to it, grabs each piece in his teeth, and then drags them – one by one – to the chair where I’m sitting.

If a piece of mai

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/20-of-the-most-unbelievably-smart-things-pets-have-done-that-surprised-their-owners/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/174271433407

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allofbeercom · 7 years ago