#Hansing

[jahbillah]

On Rasta continuum in Cuba

Real versus fake RastasNot unlike in many other Rasta communities around the world some of the more conservative religious brethren have introduced a view and language of authenticity with regards to what it means to be a Rasta. Framed in a discourse of cultural purity, they speak of so-called "real" and "unreal or “fake" Rastas. But, given the myriad of ways people in Cuba identify with and…

[youchangallery]

˒ emo / punk icons 120×120 + headers, cr. mention chanyouchan

˒ like or reblog 𔘓

[victonupdate]

subsubey [IG] story update [ENG] Happy 8th anniversary 💛Alice Victon💙

[gobald]

I really hate this dialog exchange between them, so I tried to turn it into something.....nicer

I can't help it, I'm a serial shipper

[sunniewr]

⠀ ꒰ ꪴꪴ'◡'˛ ᪲᪲ ꒱⠀⠀⠀᧓  𝆬 ⠀⠀⠀🧦⠀⠀⠀｡․⠀⠀⠀⊹⠀⠀⠀｡˖

⠀‧̥‧̥ ‧̥‧̥·̊‧̥°̩̥⠀⠀⠀🏫 ᪲᪲⠀⠀⠀⡴❀꫶᳜᳝ᰭ⠀⠀⠀ໂ🪴⠀⠀⠀| ͟͡ 𖥨᩠ׄ݁⠀⠀⠀✧

˙ིུ͠ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ͟ ͟ ͟ ⠀⠀⠀❤︎ ᭮᭰͟ ִ͏͟🐚 ͟ ͟⠀⠀⠀ ͟⬚͒͟͟⠀⠀⠀✧ ͟͟ ꫶ࣺ͟͟͟⠀⠀⠀ 𓈒

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Blind Offer 5

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon, manipulation, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: After a leak causes you to evacuate your apartment, your landlord offers a vacant unit that’s too good to be true. (short!plus!reader)

Character: Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Lloyd Hansen, and August Walker

Note: I wish this week would be over.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you like I love turning intended one shots into series. Take care. 💖

The checkered fabric beckons you forward. Your fear smothers all doubts. You're in no place to question any of this. What will they do if you don't listen? Who are they? The voice that comes from thin air. Certainly Steve too.

You touch the dress and move it aside to unveil the small lumps beneath. A set of red lace lingerie to match the shade of the checkers. You swallow tightly and pull your hand back. You look at your fingertips as if they've been singed. 

You tremble and touch the hem of your shirt. They're watching. You shudder and slowly raise the cotton. You try not to think about what's happening. Just get through it.

You drop your shirt on the bed them quickly push down your sweatpants. You heap them atop the tee and close your eyes as you peel off your underwear. You sniffle as you don the red lingerie and figure out how to tie the little string at the waist of the dress.

Your eye is caught by the shiny red shape at the foot of the bed. A pair of heels. It's not hard to guess you're supposed to put them on.

There's a chime, the same jingle as before. You spin as you search around and tinkles again. It's coming from downstairs. You clamour out into the hall and cling to the banister as you descend. You go back to the kitchen and read the screen.

'Check your phone.'

Your heart leaps. You trip over your toes but keep upright as you run into the front room. You go to your phone but deflate in an instant. There's a video pulled up on it and nothing else. No status bar, no time. What the heck?

A message pops up over the paused video thumbnail, a woman's eye up close. You read the font in the bubble before it disappears.

'Upstairs bathroom. Press play. You'll know what to do.'

You lower the phone. Right. Not cryptic at all. You teeter on your heels before you can gain your balance again. You clop out and to the stairs. You take off the shoes before your climb and keep them in hand as you skirt down to the bathroom.

As you enter, there's a sparkly pink case on the counter. That wasn't there before either. You put the shoes on the tile and lean your phone against the mirror, leaning it just so before you tap play. You twine your fingers through each other as a beaming woman smiles at you from the screen. She welcomes you to her video with her cherry red lips and expertly lined eyes.

"Today, we're going to learn how to get the perfect look!" She chimes and frames her face, "so first, lets go over our tools."

She smiles so big, her cheeks are round, almost twitching as her eyes bulge just slightly. She lifts up a small bottle. 

"Let's go over our base..."

She lists off the items, showing each to the camera. You reach to open the case as you listen, revealing a collection of cosmetics. Wow. You keep a few essentials, tinted moisturizer, some mascara, a touch of gloss, but nothing too substantial.

She presses on, going through everything you'll need for eye, lip, and cheek. When she finishes, she smiles even wider and stares. The camera lingers a bit too long and the hollowness in her eyes unsettles you.

"But first, we have to start with a naked face. Let's go!"

She claps her hands in front of her and the shot transitions. Suddenly, her face is barren of makeup. You notice the fatigue under her eyes and the vibrancy missing in her skin. She looks above the lens and her lips quiver. She gives a small nod and clears her throat, as if distracted by someone else.

"Alright, let's begin," her voice creaks at first but she quickly steadies it, "are you ready?"

You feel icky watching the video. You're not ready. This is demented. This cannot be real. It's a horror movie come to life.

"Find your primer," she presents a tube proudly, waiting. 

You look down and search for a similar tube. You shake your head as you take it out and look back to the screen. She starts by showing you where exactly to apply the primer. You hesitate. The video on your phone pauses and another message pops up.

'I can wait, doll.'

You inhale and lean in. You focus on the screen and the video skips back ten seconds. You uncap the primer and follow along with the application. The longer you look at the woman, the more you notice. That mark on her neck, a patch darker than the rest of her skin.

She moves on to foundation. The video pauses again as you struggle to find the right bottle and a clean sponge. Then concealer, and some blush, bronzer, and highlighter. You're starting to sweat.

"And that's the base," she preens, tilting her head back and forth to show the effect of her contouring, "isn't that pretty?"

She stops, smiling, staring. The shot cuts again. She pulls her hand away from her chest and bats her lashes.

"N-now," she stutters, "now, we have to do our eyes." She leans closer to the lens and you notice the slightly puffiness in the brims of her eyelids, "remember, we don't want to mess this up. We have some nice waterproof products to make sure we stay perfect, from morning to night." She looks up, above the frame, "we don't want to be crying it all off because we had one bad day, right?

"Now, I'm going to try a nice shade of gold for today's look but you can really be creative. Go wild and choose whatever you like. But nothing too loud, we don't want to scare him away."

She winks at the camera in a theatrical manner. You take out a palette and lower your head. You can't move. You're frozen. This is too much. There's something just off about all of this.

"What kind of Stepford bullshit--"

The video stops. Another pop up. You peek up at it. There's only two big red exes in the bubble. Alright, fine. You open the palette and pick out a brush. The video resumes. You really hope this stuff is waterproof because you're about to have a goddamn breakdown.

You get closer to the mirror as you work on applying the shadow. You go with a subtle caramel and amber combination. You're not very good at it but the instructions are easy enough. Nothing too difficult as long as you keep up.

You finish the eye after fighting the liner. You're starting to get the hang of it. Wait. No. That's not a victory. You don't want this.

Eyebrows. Do you really need to do all this? Right, now lips. You take out the candy apple red and delicate trace the shape of your mouth. Finally, a setting spray that nearly makes you sneeze.

"And that's it. You're all done," the woman announces, "you're ready to--"

The screen cuts. The image of the woman with her makeup smeared covers the screen for a split second then disappears to a credit screen, congratulating you on completing the the look. You gape, stunned, and take a step back. Alright, this is twisted.

The video exits out and you're left only with a blank screen. The next message takes over the expanse; kitchen. You grab the phone and take it with you, swiping up the shoes as you go.

Downstairs, you plop the shoes down and face the Echo as it chimes again. Your next directive is on the screen. A timer that reads 'Dinner, t-minus 2 hours'. You hear the television mounted in the corner flick on and you turn to see the same woman as before.

"Hello. Welcome. It's good to see you." She puts her hands on the counter, staring again. She flinches. "Please, don't make--" The video cuts. "Today!" She points at the camera, "we're going to make a classic; meatloaf."

You walk closer to the screen. There's something wrong with this woman. This isn't Rachel Ray or Martha Stewart. This is horrifying. She pauses, nodding, her smile getting bigger, than falling, and spreading again. It's as if she's glitching.

Another jarring switch. She's by the fridge, speaking intimately as the camera is angled down at her.

"So, let's get our ingredients, ladies," she announces, "now, we can go with lean turkey if we're being mindful or we can go with a classic beef." She reaches inside and takes out a paper packet, "nice and fresh."

The screen pauses on her hands. There's a broken nail among her perfectly manicured hands. You back up and drop your shoulders. You drag your feet to the fridge and pull out the ground beef in the same brownish red paper. The video starts again.

You put the beef on the counter and wait for the next ingredient. One buy one you get everything out. Then you get your tools, bowls, pans, knives. You admire the long silver blade as it slides free of the block.

"It's important," the woman chirps from the screen, "not to play with knives..  you could get hurt."

You look up as she holds up a knife and shakes her head. You frown as she grabs the blade and slides her palms down it, leaving a red sheen on the silver.

"See? Always be safe," she grips the knife by the handle as her blood drips onto the counter. "Lets prepare our veggies first–"

The blip is less than subtle. Her hand is suddenly wrapped in cause thought the drops of blood remain on the cutting board. You put the onion on the wooden surface and dice along with the happy host.

The step-by-step directions keep you occupied enough to ignore the tremor of fear inside you. Your thoughts fade to background as you pull the lid off the breadcrumbs. You work through the recipe mindlessly until you have the meat neatly in the loaf pan.

As you open the oven door, that small voice of logic breaks through. Who are you cooking this for? It's an awful lot of food for just you.

"Now we can work on our sides," the woman sings, "roasted potatoes and charred asparagus."

🖤

You stand before the table. It’s set precisely to the standard set by the woman on the screen. Cutlery, cloth napkins, tall glasses, and a jug of iced lemon water. 

The timer counts down and dings. You rush over to hit clear and grab the oven gloves. You take out the pan of meatloaf, then the roast potatoes. You place them carefully on the stove. It smells delicious but your appetite is scant. You’re not very concerned with food at the moment.

You wince as the television flicks on again and the woman holds a spatula and talks to the camera, almost as if she’s talking directly to you. 

“Now, it’s time to plate dinner,” she explains, “now I know, it’s just meatloaf, but it doesn’t mean we can’t spruce it up. Let’s begin by slicing the loaf.”

You huff and push your head back. This is a chore. You don’t think you’ve ever put this much effort into a meal. 

“We want to make our romantic dinner for two perfect,” she chimes as she sets out two plates, “for our very special someone. The most handsome man…”

She bats her lashes as she gives another tense smile. Forced and frightening. The camera slowly pans in before suddenly pulling back. You blow off the unease and open the cupboard.

You once more follow along with the knock off Julia Child. You get two plates set, the meat placed just so, the potatoes scooped out in delicate measurements, the asparagus lines up neatly. You put each plate on a table mat and take a step back. 

So, what next?

Ding dong.

The loud chime makes you jump. You don’t move. You wait and listen until it comes again. The doorbell?

You turn on your heel and pass into the entryway. As you do, the door opens from the other side. Your lips part in shock as Steve steps inside, greeting you with a smile as the security system alerts you to the open door and secures again as he lets it fall shut behind him. You clasp your hands together, questions racing but no words coming.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he smiles, “you look…” his eyes fall to your feet. “Adequate.”

You follow his gaze and curl one foot behind the other. You left the heels off. You suppose that was wrong. Wait, no, this is wrong. What he’s doing is wrong.

“Excuse me?” You scoff.

“Dinner smells good,” he smooths his golden hair. 

He wears a crisp white button-up and gray pin-striped slacks. You grimace at him and cross your arms. He comes closer, stopping before you as he reaches to touch your cheek. You wince and lean away from him.

“You shouldn’t scowl. You’ll get wrinkles,” he says.

“Wha– Steve. What is going on?”

He presses his index finger to your lips, “ah ah. I came for dinner. Let’s not chatter and let it get cold.”

You step back and glare at him, “Steve, what are you doing? Please, let me go.”

“Honey, let’s not argue,” he comes close and grabs your upper arms, pulling them apart, “you won’t like how it ends.”

“What? What does that mean?”

“Meatloaf,” he turns his head and looks towards the kitchen, “it’s my favourite.”

You’re upended by his sudden change in topic. It’s frustrating how he just ignores you. You want to know why he’s doing this. How can he even think of something like this. He can’t. Someone will come looking for you.

No one knows where you are. You didn’t tell them.

“Don’t keep me waiting, sweetheart,” he lowers his voice as he leans in, “I’ve waited long enough.”

You look up at him, shaken by his tone. You’ve never heard him sound like that. You feel his grip tighten on you. 

“Go get your shoes and we’ll sit down and have a nice dinner.”

“Steve,” you croak.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath through his nose. He smirks and lifts his lashes, blue eyes gleaming like crystals, “don’t you remember what I said. How I like order. How things should be in their place. How everyone has their role.”

You scrunch your nose. You remember. It was weird then, now it’s terrifying.

“Yes,” you rasp, “I remember.”

“You don’t want me to be unhappy, do you?” He challenges, his thumbs rubbing your arms.

You shake your head stiffly, ready to wilt beneath his gaze. “No, I don’t.”

“Good girl,” he slides his hands down your arms and slowly retracts his touch, “so, let’s eat.”

[yumminyy]

© 24.11.24 — what defines a straight man's straight?

📍 obs: indisponível para doação

notas 🗒: era para ser uma capa completamente diferente, inclusive era uma das sugestões que recebi, mas eu simplesmente não consegui me controlar com essas fotos e tive que fazer essa capa rosa com preto. é bem diferente do tipo de capa que eu costumo fazer, mas até que gostei.

[brainddeadd]

[emeraldbabygirl]

GURL

YUTA NAKAMOTO

GURL

HE WAS MY FIRST BIAS IN NCT I WAS LIKE “THAT MAN RIGHT THERE” but then I stopped listening to nct and when I came back to their music I had other favs but OH MY GOD IT’S GIVING KIM JAEJOONG IT’S GIVING GAZETTE?? IT’S GIVING J ROCK IT’S GIVING 90’s/2000’s J ROCK AND IDEK WHAT THAT MEANS BUT SOMETHING ABOUT YUTA AND ROCK FEELS SO RIGHT? Just like Woodz those two were def born to rock tf like oh my god YUTA THE MAN YOU ARE IT’S GIVING FIERCE CUNTY DIVA MY WIG FLEW TO JAPAN TO JOIN HIS ROCK BAND TYPE OF SHIT. I love them kpop men trying out the rock genre

[huihuiheart]

Kinktober 2023

This year my kinktober will contain various themes as follows:

Shape of You Sunday - Centered around the beauty of body worship, each day will be focused primarily one a specific part of the body. (It is rather self-indulgent as they’re either things I am personally self-conscious about, or have a particular taste for.)

Monsterfuck Monday - I feel this one is rather self-explanatory,  but kinktober is always an excellent time to let loose when it comes to these kinds of things. And I’ll take any excuse I can get to write them.

Troublemaker Tuesday - Who doesn’t love a touch of trouble in their week? This one is for all my bratty subs, hope you’re ready to learn the consequences of your actions.

Whispering Wednesday - Voice kink is that you? Idols have such pretty voices after all, how could we ever let them go to waste?

Thirst TRAP Thursday - Feeling trapped can hold a certain thrill, can it not? Just what kind of trap will you fall into though?

Fantasy Friday - Who says we can’t have a little fantasy with our filth? Let’s mix two of the very best things together.

Savor Saturday - All about taste and flavors! Each Saturday bringing a different “flavor” to our week. To fill every kind of craving.

As always, most pairing were made through a random picker, the schedule is below:

1. Worship You - Seventeen - Woozi - Thighs - Summary: Jihoon once again cannot help but to indulge in his favorite form of stress relief...you. -  Warnings: Marking, some manhandling, dirty talk, unprotected sex? (never explicitly said either way, but no mention of protection so...stay safe), slight sub/dom themes if you squint, very very light degradation (not really tho). 

2. Two Can Play - Ateez - Werewolf!Wooyoung -  Summary: Hongjoong comes to you desperate to find help for Wooyoung through his rut, though perhaps you get more than you bargained for. - Warnings: Switch! Wooyoung, Switch! reader, dirty talk (praise and degradation), teasing from both sides, oral (reader receiving), choking (Wooyoung receiving), manhandling, bondage, unprotected sex, breeding kink.

3. His Kitten - Stray Kids - Lee Know - Summary: When Chan’s girl invited you who knew you could get under his skin so well, only now it’s time for him to teach you what the consequences of your actions are.- Warnings: Mafia Au, guns, side character getting shot, cursing, alcohol, edging,  organsm denial, overstim (suggested), gagging (with panties), dom/sub themes, brat taming themes, spanking (reader rec), oral (both rec), degradation, dirty talk, use of the name kitten.

4. Unwind - Pentagon - Kino - Summary: Hyunggu just wants to be the most loving boyfriend and take all your stress away. You’ll let him take care of you, won’t you? - Warnings: Stress, crying, slight dom/sub dynamics if you squint, oral (reader receiving), praise, dirty talk, overstimulation, unprotected sex (be safe). 

5. In My Snare - Ateez - Jongho - Summary: In a dystopian world where you’re just a little bit of a klutz and Jongho is something of a jam addict, but somehow that’s the perfect mix for love. - Warnings: Hunting, implied violence, cursing, traps, injuries, blood (not in sex, from injuries), Jongho is snarky, unprotected sex, soft/slight dom/sub themes, manhandling, dirty talk (pretty much just praise though), oral (Reader receiving), overstimulation, marking. 

6. A Little Bit Of Magic - Seventeen - The8 - Summary: Working as Minghao's shop keep was both a blessing and curse, but when a little mix up happens with a recipe there's no going back to what you two were before. - Warnings: Cursing, magic, oral (fem receiving), fingering, unprotected sex. Really this is rather soft and vanilla in terms of the sex.

7. Savory -  Seventeen - Wonwoo - Summary: Wonwoo is there to comfort and remind you of things whenever the negative thoughts start to take hold, and he has every intention of showing you just how much he loves you. -  Warnings: Food guilt, implied negative body image, fingering, lots of praise, unprotected sex.

8. Hands On Me - NCT -  Johnny - Summary: You love Johnny's hands, but apparently he loves yours just as much. - Warnings: Quirofilia(hand kink), mutual masturbation, fingering, soft dom/sub themes, daddy kink, some manhandling, light spanking, dirty talk, cursing.

9. Deadly Duo - Seventeen - Demon! Mingyu - Summary: When you steal away a demon to make a deal with it ends up back firing on you, turns out he's more cunning than he lets on. - Warnings: Teasing, demon themes, incubus themes, aphrodisiac, dirty talk, cursing, a knife, kidnapping, life threatening, tricking/slight betrayal, fingering, oral, mentions of dry humping/grinding, big dick mingyu, unprotected sex.

10. Off Limits - Ateez - Hongjoong - Summary: Hongjoong was determined to teach you patience, only he should have known that you wouldn't learn today. - Warnings: Dom/Sub themes, sex toys, cursing, degradation, unprotected sex, mention of safe words, spanking, cursing. 

11. Tracklist -  Stray Kids - Jisung - Summary: Jisung sends you his completed tracklist at 3am hoping for input, only there was something unexpected on the list instead. - Warnings: Masturbation, audio sex, dirty talk, cursing, switch themes. 

12. Down The Rabbit Hole -  Seventeen - Jun - Summary: When you fell down into Wonderland the Hatter seems to be more than excited at your sudden arrival. - Warnings: Slight horror themes, slight possessive themes, use of the term Alice as like a title, claws mentioned, bondage, oral (reader receiving), unprotected sex, breeding kink, dollification, cursing, dirty talk.

13. Three For The Price Of One -  Seventeen - Jeonghan, Joshua, DK - Summary: A week of diplomatic discussions between future rulers leads to life long friendships, and perhaps even more than that between the four kingdoms. - Warnings: Foursome, Somewhat implied virgin reader, oral (f! receiving, nipple play, unprotected sex, bathtub sex, light biting, dirty talk, some cockwarming themes, praise, cursing, alcohol.

14. Sweetest Treat - Woodz - Summary: You had a desire for a man out of your reach, at least until he reached out to you first. Still, from such different worlds could it really be so? - Warnings: Oral (reader rec), fingering, praise, lots of praise, unprotected sex.

15. Forbidden Fruit -  Ateez - Yeosang - Summary: It's forbidden, but perhaps it tastes sweeter that way. - Warnings: 69, some manhandling, some strength kink, cum eating, unprotected sex, mentions for crying from pleasure, forbidden relationship.

16. Below The Surface - Stray Kids - Hyunjin

17. Think Twice - Stray Kids -  Chan - Summary: You burst into his studio intent on giving him a mouthful only for you to get one instead. - Warnings: Slight dom/sub themes (if you squint), oral (m! receiving), cursing, use of term baby girl, use of term good girl, some dirty talk/scolding, mostly praise.

18. Deep  - Stray Kids - Felix - Summary: His voice isn't all that's deep. -  Warnings: Voice kink, cursing, teasing, unprotected sex, lack of foreplay, implied eating out.

19. Web -  Pentagon - Yuto

20. Fey - Ateez - Mingi

21. Backstage -  Ateez - Seonghwa - Summary: There's one foolproof way to resolve preshow jitters. - Warnings: Oral (seonghwa rec), face fucking, crying, drooling, semi-public sex, teasing, cum eating.

22. Mind - Pentagon - Hui

23. Vampire - NCT - 

24. Temptations - Ateez - San - Summary: San isn't the jealous type and you're not the teasing type, tonight anyways. That doesn't mean he's able to resist temptation though. - Warnings: Spitting, cursing, dirty talk,  fingering, unprotected sex, semi-public sex.

25. Degradation - Pentagon - Wooseok

26. Mouse - Ateez - Yunho

27. Dark Fantasy -  Seventeen - Dino

28. Sour - Seventeen - Seungcheol

29. Heart -  Stray Kids - Changbin

30. The Queen And Her Dragons - NCT - Yuta, Jeno, and Jaemin

31. Rule Breaking - Hanse

If you enjoy my work please keep in mind how much time and effort goes into it and show support through comments and reblogs, or consider buying me a kofi. (Caffeine fuels the chaotic gremlin in me who creates content.)

[kittyandco-archive]

hey guys! did you know? that ummm. i'm going insane

over these

are you kidding

look

at

look him

his rosy cheeks and nose and sideburns and his mischievous little face and EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM? WHAT!!!!! .?????!!

[universitypenguin]

The Lobster Trap

Word Count: 1,178

Summary: Princess finds out about Lloyd's views on marriage and his past when she over hears a conversation between him and Zach.

Author's Note: Thank you for the ask @yenzys-lucky-charm

Warnings: Fluff, minor (semi-intentional) eaves dropping, anti-marriage views.

Masterlist

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Thank you so much for your question! I’m thrilled that you’re still enjoying the story (and that you actually took the time to reread it!)

Lloyd has always been a closed book when it comes to his relationship and personal history. He avoids discussing the past, particularly his time in Europe and the Fitzroy kidnapping, which led to his arrest and catalyzed some very painful changes in his life. Despite doing a lot of inner work, Lloyd is still very uncomfortable with deep introspection and would rather avoid conversations about his past, especially the darker aspects of his time in the intelligence community. 

His experiences there, along with a traumatic childhood, have left him with a lot of memories he'd rather forget. He’s not the type to readily share them, especially not with Princess, who would be horrified if she knew the full extent of what he’s been through, and what he’s done. However, that reluctance doesn’t mean that Princess isn’t desperately curious about his past… she just respects him enough that she doesn’t pry. 

Your ask inspired me to write a scene where Princess overhears a conversation between Lloyd and Zach and learns a little about Lloyd’s past. Without further ado: 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The quiet rumble of the Chevy Tahoe’s engine was a soothing hum in the background as you made the most of the drive home by catching up on sleep. Or at least you were trying to sleep. It was more like a very relaxed half-doze that you’d fallen into, the state between waking and sleeping where everything felt hazy but your mind was still above the surface of sleep, aware and semi-alert. 

It was a long drive back from Charlotte and the trip hadn’t fazed Lloyd or Zach, but you were exhausted. You were determined to hit at least one REM cycle, so you kept your eyes closed, trying to lull yourself to sleep. You felt the car shake as Zach passed through a railroad intersection that you remember from the trip down. It’s right before a small picturesque town, which you have to drive across to get to the highway leading north, towards D.C. you almost want to open your eyes and peek at the scenery but if you do, all hope of sleep will be gone. You keep your eyes closed. 

There’s a rustle of cotton against leather as Zach turns to check on you. 

“Is she still asleep?” he asks in a low voice. 

“Has been since we passed through Greensboro. I’ve been keeping an eye on her in the mirror,” Lloyd replies. 

“Mmmhh.” 

They lapse into silence and you hear the tick of the turn signal as Zach comes to a stop at the light. The only way through town is the main road that goes past the businesses and the city park. Opening your eyes is even more tempting. 

The car swings left and you realize that from your seat, the park is on the opposite side of the road. Opening your eyes would basically be pointless. You snuggle deeper into the seat, sighing. Sleep is right around the corner, you can feel it creeping up. 

“Would you look at that?” Zach asks. 

You don’t open your eyes but they swing towards Zach under closed lids, in an automatic movement. 

“That’s a lot of dress,” Zach says, chuckling. 

“Especially considering she’ll only wear it once.”

You realize there must be a wedding going on in the park. 

“You think the dress is expensive?” Zach asks. “You’ve never seen a bill from a divorce lawyer. And mind you, mine was amicable. I don’t even want to think about what a contentious divorce costs.” 

Lloyd grunts. “Especially when there are kids involved.” 

You thought you heard something in his tone, a subtle shift that hints of something painful. Zach doesn’t seem to notice. 

“True. But marriage isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Look at Bishop—married fifty years and still crazy about his wife. Landon’s happy enough with Ellie. It works for some people.” 

“It’s like a lobster trap–easy to get into, hard to get out of.” 

“With the wrong person, yes. If you have the right one…” 

“You can keep pouring, but I’m not drinking the Kool-Aid,” Lloyd says.

“You make it sound like a death sentence.” 

“For some, it might as well be.”

Zach laughs. Lloyd doesn’t. 

“There are only a few reasons to get married and none of them apply to me,” Lloyd says.

“Yeah? What are those reasons?” 

“Religion, stability for children, and the legal benefits. I’m agnostic, I don’t plan on having kids, and as far as the legal stuff, no one needs those things from me.” 

“The legal stuff would be more of a downside in your tax bracket, though,” Zach points out. 

“I’m thinking more of retirement benefits, inheritance rights, automatic next of kin, that stuff.”

“Come on, Lloyd,” Zach says. “You’ve dabbled in relationships over the years. Not a lot, I admit. None of them ever made you think, even for a second, that she was the one?” 

Lloyd scoffs. “No. Not even for a second.”

The hardness in his voice took you by surprise. 

“What about… what was her name? Miranda? You two were serious for a while.”

"Michela," Lloyd says the name as if he’s testing it out. "We both knew the score until she wanted to change things and I wasn’t onboard with that. She told me what she thought of that, and me, before she split.” 

Zach considers this for a moment. “You never talk about the women you date. It always made me wonder if there was more going on than you were letting on.”

“Or less,” Lloyd replies. 

“Well, that’s harsh.”

“There’s no point in dragging up the past.”

“Mmmhh. Your past is full of regrets, I suppose,” Zach says.

“And yours isn’t?”

“Touché.” 

The icy way he spoke of his past relationships shed a tiny ray of light on Lloyd’s highly compartmentalized private life. Your heart aches and you wonder how deep the mental scars from his past truly run. It was impossible not to notice the bitterness underlying his attitude towards marriage. You wished he could see that not all relationships are doomed, but you knew better than to challenge such a deep-set belief. Zach apparently didn’t share your reservations on that subject.

“It’s not all about the past, you know? It’s about what you want for the future. You should think about finding someone who understands you, someone who could share your life–all of it, not just the parts you let them into.” 

“That sounds like a recipe for disappointment. I’ll stick with keeping my expectations low, but thanks.”

Tension hangs thick in the air, before Zach relents. 

“Alright. Maybe you’ll change your mind someday. Marriage isn’t all bad. When it’s to the right person, it’s actually pretty great.” 

There’s a sneer in Lloyd’s tone when he speaks again.

“I didn’t realize you believed in fairy tales, Zach. Marriage brings out the worst in most people. Unless you have a good reason to need one, it’s pointless.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Masterlist

[seungrunge]

TENHO UM SONHO: ME LEVE. ME LEVE COMO SACRIFÍCIO AO SEU DEUS, FAÇA MINHA ALMA VALER DE ALGUMA COISA.

[victonupdate]

b__yccn [IG] story update [ENG] 8th anniversary💙💛 @w_o_o_y_a @s_sikisiki @_nujes.0504_ @dxhxnxe @subsubey

[tarobii]

i love them sm omg

(rendered this post)

[sunniewr]