#Hans Landa x OC

[quilloftheages]

Chapter 1: A Night in Vienna - Hans Landa x OC (1st Person)

Premise 

Set in the Inglourious Basterds universe, Elizabeth Acton, the daughter of an Oxford diplomat, is studying history at the University of Vienna in the 1920s. After an unexpected encounter with the enigmatic detective Hans Landa, their lives intertwine in a passionate romance. Despite a loving marriage and idyllic life together, Elizabeth's world is shattered when Hans mysteriously disappears, leaving only a note. Heartbroken and alone, she embarks on a journey to Paris to rebuild her life and confront the haunting question: why did Hans leave? And will she ever see him again?

Story: 

Chapter 1

Vienna, in the late 1920’s, had a certain magic to it. It was a city of art, music, and intellect, where the streets echoed with the footsteps of philosophers and dreamers. I had arrived here from Oxford, together with my family. My father’s career as a diplomat meant he was stationed in the city, and though Vienna was a world away from the rolling green hills of England, I found myself captivated by its allure. The university of Vienna was renowned for its history program, and studying here seemed the perfect way to carve out my future. 

But if I’m honest, I was just drawn to the idea of escape. Oxford, for all its charm, had always felt like a cage. My father’s expectations, the stifling formality of our lives – it all felt so scripted. Vienna, on the other hand, promised something different. It was a city alive with possibilities, and I was determined to take advantage of every one. 

In the evenings, after long days of lectures, I’d attend French lessons with my friends, Elise and Margot. The lessons were my ticket to the next dream: Paris. I’d always imagined myself walking the boulevards, teaching history at a lycée, living among the poets and artist. It was a romantic vision, perhaps, but at eighteen, I had no reasons not to dream big. 

One night, after our French class, we decided to stop at a bar near the city center. It was a cozy little place, dimly lit with a warm glow from the gas lamps and the gentle hum of conversation in the air. The scent of tobacco smoke mingled with the sharp aroma of schnapps and beer, and the clinking of glasses felt like the pulse of the room. We took a seat in a corner, practicing our French while laughing at Elise’s attempts to order wine In the language. 

It was then that I saw him for the first time. 

He stood near the bar, dressed in a dark, tailored coat, his posture straight and confident. There was something striking about him – sharp cheekbones, piercing eyes that seemed to take in everything around him without giving anything away. His gaze moved across the room and paused on us, or more specifically, on me. 

I tried not to look back, but curiosity got the better of me. our eyes met, and a flicker of smile played at the corner of his mouth. Something about it unsettled me, though I couldn’t quite put a finger on why. Still, I felt drawn to him. 

Elise noticed my starring. “He’s a handsome one. Though I must say perhaps a little too old for you.” She teased. Margot noticed what we were talking about and chuckled. “Good for you, Liz. He’s handsome and older. Every woman’s dream” she teased. I chuckled at both of them. Margot was the flirt of the group. Every man wanted her, and every woman wanted to be her. 

“Not interested,” I lied as I took a sip of my glass of wine, trying to escape the conversation. Elise sent me a small smile while Margot just chuckled, “If you say so,” she teased back. Our conversation flowed until suddenly I noticed a presence standing by our table. I looked up and spotted the man from before. Up close he didn’t seem tall, but he had a commanding presence. 

“Good evening, ladies,” he said in flawless German, tipping his hat politely. My German was rudimentary, but I caught enough to understand his greeting. His voice was smooth, carrying an air of authority. “May I join you?”

Elise glanced at me a bit unsure. But Margot, always the bold one, nodded. “Of course,” she replied. 

He pulled out a chair, sitting down with ease, his attention now fully on me. “Hans Landa,” he introduced himself, extending his hand. 

I shook it, trying to suppress the shutter of nerves. “Elizabeth Acton,” I replied in English, my German too weak for conversation. 

“You’re not from here,” he said, switching effortlessly to English. It was more of a statement than a question. 

“No,” I smiled, a little surprised at his fluency. “Oxford, originally. My father is a diplomat, stationed here for now. I’m studying at the university.” 

“Ah, a student of history in the city of history and culture.” His smile widened, though there was sometime about it that remained enigmatic, unreadable. 

“How did you know I studied history?” I asked baffled, not having told him that. He sent me a wolf-like smile. “Intuition,” he replied, making all of his chuckle. 

“What brings you to Vienna? Aside from your father’s work?” he asked. 

“I wanted to study here. It seemed… different. And I’m learning French. We all are, actually.” I paused, feeling self-conscious under his intense gaze. “I’d like to go to Paris someday.”

“Paris is beautiful,” he said, leaning back slightly. “But Vienna has its own charm. You may find it hard to leave once you lived here long enough.” 

Our conversation drifted into safer topics – Vienna, my studies, the little things about the city that charmed me. Hans listened attentively, nodding at all the right moments, his dark eyes never leaving mine. There was something magnetic about him. He was older, more worldly, but that only made him more intriguing. 

As the evening wore on, I found myself relaxing in his presence. He had a way making you feel like you were the only person in the room, as if your words mattered more than anyone else’s. And yet, there was something guarded about him, something he held back. 

I was drawn to that mystery. ______________________________________________________________

It had only been a few days since that night at the bar, but Hans Landa had already lodged himself in my thoughts. There was something about his presence that lingered, like a faint scent you couldn’t quite place but couldn’t forget. His attention was exhilarating.

After another evening of French lessons, my friends and I decided to take a different route home. The bustling square near St. Stephen’s Cathedral was vibrant with life – street vendors packing up for the night, the smell of roasted chestnuts in the air, and couples hurrying off to their favourite cafés. And then, as we turned the corner, I saw him. 

Hans stood leaning casually against a lamppost, his hat tipped slightly forward, watching the world pass by. His eyes flicked toward me, and I felt my heart skip. 

“Good evening, Miss Acton,” he greeted me with a slow smile, ignoring my friend, focusing solely on me. 

I was momentarily stunned that he remembered my name. “Mr. Landa,” I replied, hoping my voice sounded steadier than I felt. 

“Vienna is small, after all,” he said, his English accented but fluent. “We seem to be crossing paths again.” 

He gestured toward the street. “May I walk with you? Unless, of course, I’m interrupting.” He glanced briefly at Elise and Margot, but it was clear he was only asking out for politeness. 

I hesitated, glancing at my friends. Margot just smirked, while Elise gave me a knowing look and whispered. “Go ahead. We’ll see you tomorrow.” 

And just like that, I found myself walking with Hans through the twilight streets of Vienna, the atmosphere between us buzzing with curiosity. We talked – well, mostly he asked questions, and I answered. I found myself telling him more about my studies, about Oxford, my father’s work, my childhood. He listened with an intensity that made me feel seen. 

“I’ve been meaning to ask,” he said as we neared my street. “How are the French lessons going?”

I smiled sheepishly. “I understand much more than I can speak. My accent is… rather terrible.” 

He chuckled, and the sound warmed me. “Perhaps I could help.” 

I looked up at him and smiled. “I would like that very much.” 

The next week, Hans appeared outside the university as I was leaving my class. His presence was becoming less of a surprise and more of an expectation – one I wasn’t sure how to feel about, yet undeniably looked forward to. 

“Miss Acton,” he greeted, falling into step beside me. “I’ve been thinking about your French. If you’d like, I could assist with your lessons.” 

I raised an eyebrow. “You speak French?”

“Fluently,” he said, with a touch of pride. “After all, I’ve spent some time in France during my travels for work.” 

I was hesitant at first. Hans was a detective, a man with a mysterious aura, and this offer felt oddly personal. But I agreed. 

And so, our meetings took on a new routine. We would meet after my French lessons, and Hans would quiz me, correcting my pronunciation with gentle patience. It was strange – he was often so sharp and perceptive, but with me, he was careful, as though he didn’t want to rush anything. 

One evening, after correcting my imperfect “R” sound for what felt like the hundredth time, he looked at me with a teasing smile. “If you wish to speak with Parisians, you must soften your tongue. Let the language move through you like music.” 

His voice was so close, his breath warm against the evening air. I tried to phrase again, and he nodded approvingly, his smile lingering just a bit longer than usual. 

A few weeks later, after one of our informal lessons, we stood on the street corner, neither of us quite ready to say goodbye. 

Hans shifted, his eyes narrowing in thought before he spoke. “Elizabeth,” he began, using my first name for the first time, the sound of it unexpected and somehow intimate. “I’d like to take you out. Properly.”

I blinked, caught off guard. “You mean… as in a date?” 

His lips quirked into a half-smile. “Yes, a date. Tomorrow evening? There’s a small café near the Danube. Quiet, warm…I think you’d like it.” 

I hesitated for only a moment before nodding, with a smile. “I’d like that.” He smiled charmingly back which made my heart flutter. ______________________________________________________________

The café Hans had chosen was quaint, tucked away from the busy streets of Vienna. It had wooden tables, candlelight flickering in the soft breeze, and a view of the river that was simply enchanting. We sat by the window, the city reflecting off the water in soft hues of gold and blue. 

Hans seemed more relaxed than usual, the guarded air he often wore like amor fading in the candlelight. We talked about everything and nothing. I told him about my life in Oxford, about my younger brother, James, who was still in school. In return, he shared snippets of his life – he’d grown up here in Austria, in the Alps to be precise. He had travelled widely for his work, but seemed to evade anything too personal. 

As the evening drew on, there was a brief silence. Hans reached across the table, gently placing his hand over mine. 

“Elizabeth,” he said, his voice lower, more serious. “I enjoy this. Being with you. I… don’t often feel this way.” 

I felt my heart quicken. “Neither do I.” 

We walked along the Danube afterward, the stars reflecting off the water. When we stopped by the river’s edge, Hans turned to face me fully, his eyes dark and unreadable. For a moment, he simply looked at me, his gaze intense, as if weighing some unspoken decision. 

Then, without a word, he leaned down and kissed me, his lips warm and soft against mine. 

The kiss was gentle, tentative, as though he was testing the waters. His hand came up to cradle my cheek, his thumb brushing lightly across my skin. I responded instinctively, letting my eyes closed as I melted into the warmth of his touch. The city seemed to blur around us, and for that brief moment, it felt like we were the only two people in the world. 

When we finally pulled away, the air between us was thick with unspoken emotions. I looked up at him, trying to gauge what he was thinking, but Hans, ever the enigma, simply smiled softly and took my hand, guiding me away from the river. ______________________________________________________________

The weeks that followed were filled with long walks, secret glances, and quiet conversations. Hans was unlike any man I had ever known – intelligent, mysterious, and yet gentle with me in ways I never expected. He was thoughtful, bringing me books from his personal collection, surprising me with small gifts like pressed flowers or an ink bottle from Paris, knowing I dreamt of going there. 

Our time together felt stolen, as if we were living in a world apart from everything else. We would meet in the afternoons after my classes, sit in a café or stroll through the gardens. There was always a tension beneath the surface, something deepening between us that neither of us could ignore. 

It was late one evening after dinner, and we were sitting in a quiet park beneath the glow of the streetlamps. Hans had been quieter than usual, his mood more intense, his eyes following me with a kind of hunger. I felt it too – the pull between us, the unspoken desire. 

We talked, but it was the only surface-level, both of us skirting around what we were really feeling. Finally, as the conversation died down, Hans turned to me, his expression unreadable. 

“I’ve been holding back, Fräulein,” he admitted, his voice low and raw. “But I don’t think I can anymore.” 

Before I could respond, he kissed me again, but this time there was nothing tentative about it. His lips pressed harder, his hands pulling me close, and I felt the full force of what had been simmering between us. I returned the kiss with equal intensity, my arms wrapping around his neck as the world spun around us. 

When we finally broke apart breathless, the air between us had changed. We didn’t speak, but there was no need. We both knew that things had shifted. I smiled up at him, and he smiled back. And in that moment, he seemed to me to be the most beautiful and charming man, I had ever met. ______________________________________________________________

It didn’t take long after that before Hans suggested to meet my family. My parents were cautious, particularly my father. He was sceptical of Hans, though polite. 

Dinner with my parents was a formal affair, and Hans, to his credit, handled it well. He charmed my mother with his knowledge of art, and even managed to get a laugh out of my younger brother, James, who was typical shy around strangers. My father, however, remained distant, his questions sharp, probing Hans’ background and intentions. 

After the meal, when Hans and my father retreated to the study for a private conversation, I was left with a knot of anxiety. My father was protective, and though he rarely interfered with my life, I could sense his concerns. 

When they finally emerged, Hans looked calm, though my father’s expression remained unreadable. Still, when he shook Hans’ hand, there was a sense of grudging respect. 

I followed him to the door, and while I really wanted to kiss him, I couldn’t with my parents lingering close by. He smiled at me and winked as he left, making me chuckle. 

That night as I went to bed, I had a smile on my face and dreamed of Hans. 

We continued like this for months. He would help my study, take me on walks, to see museums and art galleries. He had come over a couple of more times to dine with my family, and in time my father seemed to like him more and more. 

Even after all of this it still took me by complete surprise. I came home one evening after class, expecting the house to be quiet. Instead, I found Hans sitting in the Parlor, his hat resting on the table beside him, his coat neatly folded over the chair. My heart raced in surprise. 

“Hans? What are you doing here?” I asked, stepping into the room, confusion clear on my face. 

He stood, walking over to me with a serious expression. “I’ve just spoken with your father.” 

My stomach flipped. “About what?” I asked in concern. 

Hans took my hands in his, his grip firm but gentle. His eyes locked onto mine, and for the first time since we’d met, I saw something like uncertainty in his gaze. 

“My liebe, Elizabeth,” he said softly, his voice thick with emotion. “I’ve asked your father for his blessing to marry you.” 

The air seemed to leave the room, and I stared at him, trying to process what he had just said. 

“I love you,” he continued, his hands tightening slightly around mine. “And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. If you’ll have me.”

For a moment, I couldn’t speak. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, and all I could do was nod. 

Hans smiled then, a rare, genuine smile that made my heart soar. He pulled me into his arms, and as he held me close, I whispered, “Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you.”

We kissed again, and this time, there was no hesitation, no uncertainty - just the promise of a future together. 

Just a few short months later, I graduated from the University of Vienna. Hans was there, sitting in the audience with that same proud smile that made my heart flutter. The diploma in my hands felt like a culmination of years of hard work, a symbol of the life I had dreamed of building. But the moment I walked across the stage, my eyes found Hans, and I realised in that moment that the future was no longer just mine – it was ours. 

Our wedding followed soon after. It was a small, intimate ceremony in a charming Viennese church, attended by my family and friends, and some of Hans’ friends. My mother fussed over every detail, while my father walked me down the aisle, his expression soft with emotion. Hans waited at the altar, looking more handsome than I’d ever seen him, his dark eyes flowing with affection and promise.

The ceremony was simple but perfect. The moment we kissed as husband and wife, I felt a swell of love so strong that it left me breathless. I knew my life had changed forever. ______________________________________________________________

After the wedding, I moved into Hans’ apartment – a beautiful, sunlit space in the heart of Vienna. The rooms were filled with the warm, earthy scent of wood and leather, and large windows overlooked the bustling streets below. It was smaller than my family’s home, but it felt infinitely cozier. We spent our first days as newlyweds either in bed or arranging the apartment to make it our own, combining our lives piece by piece. 

Life settled into a peaceful rhythm. I found work as a teacher at a local girls’ school, a position that fulfilled me more than I could have imagined. The students were eager to learn, and I found myself pouring my heart into every lesson. 

Hans’ work as a detective kept him busy, but when he was home, we filled our time with quiet dinners, long walks through Vienna’s parks, and cozy nights reading together by the fire. He would often surprise me with flowers or a new book, and I loved the small ways we cared for each other. We were happy – truly, blissfully happy. 

A year or so into the marriage, my father received word that his posting in Vienna was coming to an end. My parents were being re-stationed back to England, and though I knew this day would come, it still felt like shock. 

The evening before their departure, my family gathered for a final dinner at our favourite restaurant. The air was thick with emotion – my mother trying to hold back tears, my father quieter than usual, and James, now taller and more mature, struggling to say goodbye. 

“I’m proud of you,” my father said, hugging me tightly. “And I know you’ve made the right choice.”

I watched them leave the next morning, waving until their car disappeared from view, tears streaming down my face. Vienna felt emptier without them, but I still had Hans. And that was enough.  ______________________________________________________________

Hans I had tried to start a family, but as the years went by, our hopes began to fade. Each month brought fresh disappointment, and I started to fear that the fault lay with me. Doctors confirmed my worst fears – something about my body, something I couldn’t fix, made it difficult, perhaps impossible, for me to conceive. 

I wept often during that time, feeling a deep sense of failure. Hans, ever gentle and patient, would hold me, his hands stroking my hair as I sobbed into his chest. 

“We’ll be fine,” he whispered, though I could hear the sadness in his voice. “We heave each other, my darling Elizabeth. That’s all I need.” 

He never blamed me, not once. But I couldn’t help but feel like I had let him down. 

To lift our spirits, Hans surprised me with a trip to Paris – the city I had always dreamed of visiting. We arrived in spring, the city blooming with life and colour. The air was warm, the streets lively with music and laughter. Paris was everything I had imagined it would be – romantic, vibrant, and a full of history. 

We spent our days strolling along the Seine, visiting art galleries and historical landmarks. Hans took me to a charming little café, the same one we had spoken about on one of our first dates, and we sat for hours drinking wine and watching the world go by. 

One evening, as we stood on a bridge overlooking the river, the lights of the Eiffel Tower sparkling in the distance, Hans pulled me close. “I promised you Paris,” he said softly, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “And here we are.” 

It was a perfect moment. I felt as though all my dreams had come true, even if the path was different that I’d imagined. 

Years passed in a contended blur. We had settled into a comfortable life in Vienna, one filled with love, even if it wasn’t the life I had originally planned. I was happy teaching, and Hans was content in his work, though he often spoke of darker times looming in the political sphere. 

One day, I came home from work, expecting to find Hans waiting for me, as usual. Instead, the house was eerily quiet. On the dining table, there was a single note, written in his familiar, neat script. 

I’ve been called away on urgent business. Fear not, I will return soon. Trust me. I love you, mein liebe, Elizabeth. 

I stared at the note, my heart pounding in my chest. Hans had never left like this before. His work as a detective sometimes required long hours, but he had always kept me informed. Now, he had disappeared with only a cryptic message. 

As I ate my supper I could not shake of the feeling of loneliness. I spent the rest of the evening reading but found myself often looking at Hans’ chair and felt sad. As I went to bed that night, I wore one of Hans’ shirts in hope that it would quench my longing for him, but it did the exact opposite. I only found myself missing him more. ______________________________________________________________

The days without Hans turned into weeks, and those weeks into months. At first, I tried to carry on as if nothing had changed. I went to the school, taught my students, and returned home to an empty apartment. I pretended I wasn’t watching the clock, that I wasn’t waiting for the sound of his footsteps on the stairwell or the creak of the front door.

But the silence grew unbearable. 

His note lay where I had left it, on the mantle above the fireplace, the ink faded but still legible. I must have read it a thousand times, hoping that somehow, if I stared hard enough, the words would change, or that they would reveal some hidden meaning. But there was nothing. Just the same cryptic message, and the same growing fear gnawing at my insides. 

Where had he gone? Why had he not told me? And – worst of all – was he ever coming back?

I had tried to remain strong, but Vienna no longer felt like the vibrant city I had fallen in love with. Every corner of the apartment whispered of our life together – the quiet breakfasts by the window, the evening spent reading by the fire, and the late nights when Hans would pull me close and hold me as if I was the most precious thing in the world. Without him, those memories were like shadows, haunting me with their absence. 

It wasn’t just his disappearance that hurt. It was the not knowing. Hans had always been so careful with his words, so precise, and yet this time, he had left me with nothing but uncertainty. His work as a detective had always involved secrets, but this felt different. This felt personal. 

One evening, I visited his office, my hope dwindling with every passing day. His colleagues gave me nothing but blank stares, polite refusals, and vague promises that they’d look into it. But they didn’t seem to care. Hans was just another name on a list of officers, one who had apparently gone off on some undisclosed mission. I was his wife, yet it seemed as though I knew the least of all. 

Trust me. 

How was I supposed to trust him when he had left me like this? ______________________________________________________________

I began to write to him. At first, it was just a few words on paper, trying to make sense of the chaos in my mind. But as the weeks went by, the letters grew longer, filled with everything I couldn’t say aloud. I told him about the school, about my students, and how they were thriving in their history lessons. I wrote about Vienna, the city we had both loved so much, and hot it now seemed to reflect the emptiness inside me. 

I even wrote about my dreams – the ones we had shared, the life we had planned. I told him how much I wanted to see him, to hold him, to hear his voice again. How I missed the warmth of his touch, the way his eyes would soften when he looked at me. 

But there was no address to send the letters to. no place where I could reach him. So they remained in a drawer, growing in number, waiting for the say when I might have the chance to give them to him. 

After months of waiting in vain, something inside me snapped. It wasn’t an act of anger or frustration, but rather a quiet, aching realisation that I could no longer stay here, trapped in a life that had once been filled with love and now felt like a prison. 

I began to pack my things, carefully folding away the clothes and trinkets that had once made up our home. The books we had collected together, the small souvenirs from our trips around the city – everything seemed to carry the weight of what had been lost. I left the ring Hans had given me on the bedside table, the one reminder of the love we had shared, but I couldn’t bear to wear it anymore. 

My final goodbyes were said to the few friends I had made, those who had watched me as I slowly crumbled under the weight of Hans’ absence. They offered me sympathy, but no one had any real answers. Vienna had become too painful for me to stay. 

Paris had always been my dream, and now, in the absence of everything, it seemed like the only place I could go. 

I booked my passage on the next train to France, leaving behind the life I had built, the one I had hoped to share with Hans. The city I had once loved felt foreign to me now, its streets empty without him by my side. As the train pulled out of the station, I looked back one last time at the skyline of Vienna, the domes and spires that had been the backdrop to my happiest moments. 

But I knew there was nothing left for me here. Not anymore. ______________________________________________________________

Paris was everything I had imagined it to be – the cut of lights, of romance, and art. But it was also a city of ghosts, filled with reminders of the life I had once dreamed of having with Hans. Every corner café, every bridge across the Seine, every street vendor selling flowrrs – all of it reminded me of the promises we had made to each other, the life we were supposed to build together. 

But Paris was also where I began to heal. 

I found a small apartment near Montmartre, not far from the artists and musicians who brought the street to life with their creativity. It was nothing like the apartment Hans and I had shared in Vienna, but it was mine. A space where I could start over. 

Teaching had always been my passion, and I found work at a local school. The children here were different – more worldly, more curious. They asked questions about the world beyond France, and I found myself telling them stories of Vienna, of the history I had studied so passionately. In a way, it felt like I was teaching them about the life I had lost. 

Days turned into weeks, and slowly, I began to find some measure of peace. The ache of Hans’ absence never truly left, but it become more bearable with time. I still thought of him often – wondering where he was, whether he was safe, and if he ever thought of me. But I no longer let those thoughts consume me. 

Paris became my sanctuary. It wasn’t the life I had planned, but it was a life, nonetheless. And for the first time in months, I felt like I could breathe again. 

I still had the letters, tucked away in a small box at the back of my closet. I hadn’t written to him in a long time, but I couldn’t bring myself to throw them away. They were a record of my grief, my longing, my hope. 

Sometimes, late at night, I would open the box and read through them, imagining what it would be like to see Hans again. I wondered if he would still recognise the woman I had become – the one who had been broken by his absence but had somehow found strength to go on. 

Perhaps one day I would find the courage to let him go entirely. But for now, I held on to the memories, the love we had shared, and the hope that somewhere, Hans was thinking of me too. 

I wasn’t sure if I would ever hear from him again. But I had learned to live with the uncertainty. After all, life in Paris had given me something precious – myself. 

Everything was getting better – until the war began. 

[cozywriting]

Love, from Nantucket

It is post-World War II, and the Nazi regime has fallen. Officiated war veteran and former S.S Hans Landa is living free from persecution as a local detective on Nantucket Island. Life suddenly takes a turn when Hans intertwines with a familiar face and conflicts arise when faced with the message: You can never thoroughly escape your past.

A character study centered on Tarantino's rounded, complex villain, Hans Landa.

“Wouldn’t you rather know if there are any Jews hiding under our feet?”

“No, because it’s you I wish to know about."

Pairing: Hans Landa x oc

Genre: Romance & Drama

Part I: Au Revoir

Chapters 1 & 2 available:

AO3 

Wattpad

[rurivu]

I love bastard's soooo much!!!!🛐

Bonus:Hans and Aldo dynamic

[jiejie-eonni-onee-sama]

📖Masterlist📖

                              Here, you can find all the imagines I wrote.

💌 = Request

🎁 = Gift

🔎Sherlock (BBC)

Save your tears... (Mycroft X Male!Reader) 🎁

🩸Hannibal (NBC)

I don’t want to wake up from you (Will X Fem!Reader) 💌

Maneater (Hannibal X Male!Reader) (TW: Mentions of smut and violence) 🎁

An hurricane in my kitchen (Will X Fem!Reader) 💌

Papa, don’t preach... (Hannibal & Fem!Reader X Will Graham) 💌

🐺Teen Wolf

Beware the alpha! (Derek Hale X Male!Reader) 💌

🦸‍♂️MCU (Avengers, X-Men, GOTG, Fantastic Four, Agents of SHIELD, Agent Carter...)

You’re my sunshine (Helmut Zemo & Male!Reader) 🎁

🔦Criminal Minds

I’ll be brave for you... (Spencer Reid X Fem!Reader) 🎁

🦸‍♀️DCEU (Justice League, BVS, Suicide Squad, Birds of Prey, Titans, The Flash, Arrow...)

Play me me like a violin (Bruce Wayne X Male!Reader) (TW: Smut) 💌

Sweet but psycho (Roman Sionis X Male!Reader) (TW: Violence) 🎁

Sending my love to you... (Roman Sionis X Fem!Reader) (TW: Smut) 💌

Miss Independent... (Victor Zsasz X Fem!Reader) 🎁

The only one I need (Roman Sionis X Fem!Reader) 💌

War of the fathers, peace of the sons (Zsasmask and Male!OC & Maxwell Lord and Male!OC) 🎁

Who’s laughing now? (Joker VS Fem!Reader & Harley Quinn) (TW: Swearing & Violence) 🎁

Primal fears... (Zsaszmask and Male!OC & Maxwell Lord and Male!OC) 🎁

💥Inglourious Basterds

Innocents don’t shed blood (Donny X Fem!Reader) 💌

Speaking her language (Wilhelm Wicki X Fem!Reader) 💌

Severed blood ties (Hans Landa & Male!Reader) 🎁

We’re in heaven (Hugo Stiglitz X Fem!Reader) 💌

The Apache and The Comedian (Aldo Raine X Male!Reader) 💌

Let her be mine and mine alone... (Hans Landa & Fem!Reader x Omar Ulmer) 💌

Amour à la française (Aldo Raine X Fem!Reader!) 💌

There’s no mountain high enough... (Wilhelm Wicki X Fem!Reader & Child!OC) 🎁

You better run... (FemaleOC! & The Basterds) 🎁🎃

Run to you... (Donny Donowitz X Fem!Reader) 💌

Birthday Girl (Aldo Raine X Fem!Reader) 💌🎁

All against odds (Wilhelm Wicki X Male!Reader) 🎁

🗼Pacific Rim/Kong: Skull Island/Godzilla

Written in the stars (Nate Lambert X Fem!Reader) 🎁

😈Lucifer

An unholy seduction (Lucifer X Male!Reader) 💌

My mama is the best man in the universe (Lucifer and Male!Spirit!OC) (Father-son relationship) 💌

😇Good Omens

My boyfriend is back (Crowley X Demon!Fem!Reader) 💌

🤵Kingsman: The Secret Service

Too old for her? (Harry Hart X Fem!Reader) 🎁

🔮Harry Potter

Love is like a tornado (Remus Lupin X Fem!Reader) 💌

It’s just the price I pay (Hermione Granger X Male!Reader) 🎁

Falling (in love)... (Remus Lupin X Fem!Reader) 💌

🔥The Witcher

The deepest soul (Geralt X Mermaid!Fem!Reader) 💌

Music is my way to say I love you (Jaskier X Fem!Reader) (AU) 💌

Put your wings on me (Jaskier X Fae!Fem!Reader) 💌

Love song... (Jaskier X Bard!Fem!Reader) 💌

I will find you (Jaskier X Fem!Reader) 💌

💣James Bond Movies

Velvet Tango (James Bond X Fem!Reader) 💌

You targeted my heart (James Bond X Fem!Reader) 💌

Sugar Boy... (James Bond X Male!Reader) 💌

Don’t worry child... (Gareth Mallory & Male!OC) 🎁

In my arms... (James Bond X Male!Reader) (TW: Smut) 💌

Like a porcelain doll... (Ernst Stavro Blofeld & Fem!OC) 🎁

Unconditionally... (Gareth Mallory X Fem!Reader) 🎁

Come what may (Gareth Mallory X Male!OC) 🎁

No more secrets (00Q X Male!OC) 💌

I care for you (Gareth Mallory X Fem!Reader) 💌

🏹Shadowhunters

🪔Merlin (BBC)

For my king (Arthur X Fem!Reader) 🎁

Under your spell (Merlin X Fem!Reader) 💌

🎭Prodigal Son

Mystery Girl (Malcolm Bright X Fem!Reader) 🎁

🤴The Crown

I’d put a crown at your feet... (Philip X Male!Reader) (Part I) 💌

All Hail to my king (Philip X Male!Reader) (Part 2) 💌

Give us a chance (Charles X Male!OC) 💌

A royal affair (Margaret X Male!OC) 🎁

🦇Gotham

The art of seduction (Oswald Cobblepot X Fem!Reader) 💌

🧙‍♂️The Lord of The Rings/The Hobbit

The King’s precious gem (Thranduil X Male!Reader) 💌

💀Pirates of the Caribbean

Something fishy... (Jack Sparrow X Fem!Reader) 💌

As wild as the sea... (James Norrington X Fem!Reader) 🎁

⭐Star Wars (Episode I to IX, The Mandalorian...)

Silent words, loud gestures... (Din Djarin X Fem!Reader) 💌

⚽Football (France NT, different players...)

The player & the writer (Antoine Griezmann X Male!Reader) 💌

My only one (Lucas Paquetá X Fem!Reader) 💌

🔣Other fandoms/universes/suggestions....

Sundays mornings (French Politics) 🎁

If you are interested and you wanted a tailored story, please read the rules before requesting!

[knives-out20]

Inglourious Boyfriends - Part 9 - FINALE

Fandom: Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Pairing: Joshua Margolis (OC) x Lt. Aldo Raine

Word Count: 2709 (3480 With The Post-Ending Info)

Warnings: LONG, Lil’ Fluff

Notes: Okay, Here’s The Ending FOR REAL This Time. Here We Are, Boys. The Great, Eluded Finale. Again, As I’ve Stated Before, Fear Not! You Are All Getting A Donny Donowitz x FtM-Trans!OC With Two Endings. I Really Hope You Guys All Enjoyed This Series As Much As I Did, I Know I’ll Keep Aldo And Joshua In My Heart Forever. Well...Enjoy.

Utivich, Joshua, and Aldo once again found themselves in the back of the truck, which drove them through a dirt road to the middle of some misty forest made up of tall, thin trees. It looked straight from a horror film.

Hans sat in the passenger seat of the truck, admiring Aldo's knife, which he had confiscated.

The truck finally slowed to a stop, Hermann and Hans getting out and walking to the back. There, they pulled Aldo, Joshua and Utivich out, pacing the group a few feet away from the truck. Hans kept their hands cuffed and made them stand in a line, Hermann beside him.

Joshua glanced up at Aldo, giving Utivich a quick look before turning back to Hans.

"Hermann, uncuff them" Landa told, Hermann nodding and going to uncuff Joshua, Aldo, and Utivich, in that order.

Aldo groaned softly once he was uncuffed, so Joshua immediately turned to softly hold his hands, inspecting Aldo's wrists for any marks or bruises.

"Are you okay?" He softly whispered, blue eyes full of care as he gently handled Aldo's wrists."Did they cut ya?" Josh asked, momentarily looking up at Aldo's face as his thumbs stroked one of Aldo's wrists.

"It's fine, darlin'" Aldo mumbled, Joshua nodding and pulling away. He looked Hans up and down, taking the gun the Colonel offered him. Aldo cocked it, showing it off to Joshua before tucking it into his belt. He brushed his hand against Josh's, then pushing his blazer back to place his hands directly over his hips.

"I'm officially surrendering myself over to you, Lieutenant Raine" Landa smiled, using both his hands to hand his own fancy-looking knife over to Aldo; the same Aldo who has only ever really been used to Joshua surrendering himself over to him- in a completely different way, obviously."We're your prisoners" he added, Aldo swiftly taking the knife when Hermann was back beside Hans.

"How about my knife?" Aldo asked, giving Hans a fake smile of his own.

Landa chuckled, digging into his coat and finally giving Aldo the knife that he rightfully owned.

"Thank you very much, Colonel" Aldo squinted."Utivich, cuff the Colonel's hands behind his back".

Utivich wordlessly nodded, walking behind the whining Colonel.

"Aw, is that really necessary?" He fake-pouted.

"I'm a slave to appearances" the Lieutenant admitted, pulling Joshua closer to him before fiddling with the artillery now in his hands."Why do y'think I chose Margolis here above anyone else?" He asked, turning to smile at Josh.

Joshua smiled to himself, lightly elbowing Aldo. He shot a glare Hans' way, before leaning in and placing a sweet, loving kiss on Aldo's lips.

This gained him just the reaction he was looking for: a groan of pure, absolute revulsion from the cuffed Colonel.

Utivich freely kicked the Colonel.

"Cover yer ears, simple thang" Aldo informed, pulling his 'simple thing' nickname. He put an arm around Joshua's shoulders, keeping him close.

Joshua looked up at Aldo, confused, slowly going to cover his ears with his hands. He watched Aldo nod thankfully, and shoot Hermann without even looking at the guy. Joshua leaped back a bit, having still heard the gunshot even though it was muffled.

Utivich pat Joshua's shoulder, as Hans looking down at Hermann, shocked.

"Scalp Hermann." Aldo blankly commanded, giving Utivich the fancy knife.

Utivich looked pleased, pulling the knife out of the sheath and walking over to Hermann quietly.

"Are you mad? What have you done? I made a deal with your General for that man's life!" Hans snapped, looking between Aldo and Hermann.

Joshua smiled in a sickeningly sweet way, wrapping his arms around one of Aldo's and leaning his head on Aldo's shoulder when the Lieutenant pulled his arm back from around Josh's neck.

"Yea, they made that deal, but they don't give a fuck about him" Aldo explained.

"They need you" Josh finished.

"You'll be shot for this!" Hans yelled, having Joshua scrunch his face up in disagreement.

"Uh, n-nah, we don't think so. More like chewed out, we've been chewed out before, haven't we, Aldo?" Joshua asked, Aldo nodding in response. 

"You know, Utivich, Margolis and myself heard the that deal you made with the brass. Hard not to, since we were all in the same room. End the war tonight? I'd make that deal" Raine nodded again, stare fixed on Hans."How about you, Utivich, you make that deal?" Aldo asked, turning to look down at Utivich, who was scalping Hermann like he was told to.

"I'd make that deal" Utivich nodded.

"And you, Josh, you make that deal?" Aldo turned over to Joshua, a smile melting onto his lips.

Joshua had his cheek flush against Aldo's arm, nodding once."I'd make that deal".

Aldo's smile turned into a triumphant grin at Landa."I don't blame these two, damn good deal! And that pretty little nest you feathered for yer-self? Well, if yer willing to barbecue the whole High Command, I suppose that's worth certain considerations. But I do have one question" he turned to Joshua, to speak for him.

"When you get to yer little place on Nantucket Island, we imagine yer goin' take off handsome-lookin' SS uniform of yer's. Ain't ya?" He asked.

Hans stayed completely still, his silence speaking for him.

Joshua grinned, exchanging a knowing look with Aldo."That's what we thought".

"Now that I can't abide" Aldo huffed.

"How 'bout you, Utivich, can you abide it?" Joshua asked, putting his hand on his hips.

"Not one damn bit, sir" Utivich grunted, a sound of relief escaping his lips when he finally pulled Hermann's scalp clean off.

"And you, sunshine, can you abide it?" Aldo asked Joshua.

"Not at all, Lieutenant".

Aldo lightly nudged Joshua, who automatically pulled away. He took a step towards Hans and leaned in."I mean, if I had my way, you'd wear that goddamn uniform for the rest of yer hinga-dinga-durgen fuckin' life" Aldo grumbled, a strict gaze on Landa."But I'm aware that ain't practical, I mean, at some point, yer goin' to have to take it off. So," the Lieutenant pulled out his knife, showing it off in front of the Colonel's face."I'm goin' to give you a lil' somethin' you can't take off. Actually-" Aldo turned to his beloved."Joshua Margolis, I believe it's about time. If you would be so honored, would'ja like to give this grimy motherfucker what-for?".

Joshua's eyebrows jumped in surprised, as he pointed to himself."M-Me? Oh, uh, Lieutenant, I dunno-".

"C'mon, Lieutenant, y'seen me do it about a hundred times. Utivich'll hold his feet down, and I can guide ya" Aldo bargained, using the tip of his knife to tilt the Colonel's hat up, revealing his forehead.

Next thing Joshua knew, Utivich was indeed holding down the screaming (in agony) Colonel's legs from kicking and moving, as the Nazi lay on the cold, wet dirt he was pushed onto.

Aldo crouched by Hans, Joshua squatted in front of him, as he steadied his knife in the Lieutenant's grip. He had his chest pressed against Josh's back, his hands over the other's."Just like that, baby, smooth 'n' steady" Aldo whispered, guiding Joshua's hands as he helped the other carve a swastika into Landa's forehead.

Joshua gulped thickly, exhaling shakily as he tried his best. He had Aldo all up against him, his boyfriend's hot breath on the nape of his neck and purrs of praises rolling into his ear, after all. This was proven a little bit difficult given his current situation with trying to stay focused on cutting a swastika into a Nazi's forehead, and not all the ideas running around his head that involved Joshua and Aldo within close proximity of each other; but under drastically different circumstances.

"Pretend he ain't screamin', alright? Pretend he ain't doin' nothin', and y'can't hear shit, alright? Yer doin' amazin', baby, good boy" he praised, hands still over Joshua's, leading him through it.

Once the swastika was perfectly etched, Joshua pulled the knife away, cheeks growing darker as more ideas swam into his mind.

The two Jews (and Aldo) looked down at it in wonder, Aldo tilting his head slightly."Good job, Joshua, I love you" he planted a kiss on Joshua's cheek, unaware of his boyfriend's current underlying problem.

"I love you too, Aldebrand" Joshua repeated, voice full of glee. He turned and kissed Aldo again, the Colonel's cries getting louder when they did. 

Utivich slapped Hans to make him shut up.

"Y'know somethin', Utivich? I think this just might be our masterpiece" Aldo spoke when he pulled away, Utivich giving a toothy grin as he nodded in agreement. He groaned as he stood up, helping Joshua and Utivich up with him.

"S-So, uh, so wait..." Joshua started, scratching his jaw.

Aldo and Utivich turned to look at him.

"So- shut up-" Joshua hissed, stomping on one of Hans' legs. He scoffed, looking back up at his boyfriend and the Basterd."So if- if Landa here gets arrested, what happens to all the shit he asked of from the General? The medals, the privileges, the money, the property on Nantucket Island. If he gets arrested, none of it will go t'him" Josh listed, looking at Aldo, specifically, for answers.

Aldo put his hands on his hips, biting his bottom lip in thought, holding back a chuckle as Joshua kicked the Colonel, scolding him to stop screaming."I think," he started, scooping Joshua into his arms, grip around around his waist, "that I'll see to it that the General finds enough kindness in his goddamn heart to hand schnitzel-shit's gifts over to us" Aldo pulled Josh closer, chest to chest."I'll see to an extra piece o'property in Nantucket for Utivich" he declared.

Utivich's eyes widened as he turned to Aldo suddenly."Sir!" He exclaimed, hands raised, as if to grab something.

"Yer the toughest Basterd we got, Utivich. After all, yer the last one that's alive. It's only right" Joshua pointed out, an excited smile on his face."But- But what about the first house?" For the first time in his life, Joshua wasn't very smart.

Aldo chuckled, in an 'awe, he's so cute' type of way as he checked Joshua out."We'll take it, of course; it'll be somewhere only we know".

Joshua now had an expression identical to Utivich's on his face, stomping on the Colonel's leg to shut his protests up. He remembers the many 'somewhere only we know' hideout locations the two of them had, growing up."Seriously-? Aldo, I- I don't-".

"Aw, c'mon. Imagine it, Nantucket Island. Ever wanted a weddin' by the sea, Joshua?".

Joshua felt his heart fall out of his chest with happiness, locking eyes with Utivich, who had an equal amount of shock written all over his face."I- I- I've wanted t'get married, yea, but was always a lil' too afraid to think about the, uh, the- the details 'n' such..." he shyly admitted, looking down at his feet.

Aldo placed a finger on Joshua's chin, tilting his head up to make eye contact."Our lives are as fucked up to the public as is, doll. Now that the war's over, nothin' is stoppin' me from getting my hands on two rings 'n' makin' Utivich our secret officiant, if he so wishes". He turned to look over at Utivich, who nodded urgently as his eyes darted between Aldo and Joshua.

"Sir, yes sir!" He sounded eager.

Aldo smiled, turning back to Joshua and interlocking their fingers."Think about it, Joshy. Weddin' by the sea, our own place in Nantucket t'wind away, in. We'll adopt a lil' doggy or take in a youngster of our own- don't go thinkin' I didn't see you smilin' back at the doctor's with Bridget, I saw ya- I've been waitin' long enough, Joshua. Lovin' you since we were teenagers, that's long enough, darlin', seriously. Like I said before, threat is imminent. And I gotta protect the one thang I can't live without: that's you. I wanna- I wanna marry the one thang I can't live without, Joshua, I wanna marry you. I also don't wanna almost lose you again like at the tavern; I don't wanna almost lose you like that without havin' put a ring on ya, first" he professed, breaking his gaze to softly kissing both of Joshua's knuckles.

Joshua gulped, feeling his face start to heat up again. If this was Aldo's way of proposing (especially right after the deaths of so many men the two of them quickly grew attached to), Joshua would allow it. As of right now, the two of them haven't been able to properly mourn for the Basterds they lost, so the quicker they got together, the better, right? Saves no room for what could have been, if one of them were to die before getting married. He could already feel the tears welling up in his eyes.

"This love has gotten stronger ever since our teen years, and I don't wanna wait any fuckin' longer to actually make you mine. I wanna be with ya even when we're grey 'n' old, Joshy, believe me. Now, I know, I- I- I've never been good at the whole sweet-talkin' thing, so I'm kinda going off on a limb, here, with all o'this and I'm bein' as honest as I've always been, with you" Aldo stuttered, shaking his head."I'm so in love with you, darlin', and I'm proud of how we've come so fuckin' far. We've both lost men- good men, that we both already miss 'n' really care about, and now, it's up to us to not lose each other. You were always there for me when I needed you most, and I want you to be with me forever, 'cause baby, I'm yer's. What'd'ya say, Joshua?".

Joshua swallowed, lips slowly parting. He pulled his hands away to drag them up Aldo's arms, one hand around his neck and the other on the back of Aldo's head."Aldo, I, uh...I..." he quickly licked his lips, too happy for words as tears slowly started to trickle down his cheeks.."That's what I've waited all my life for" Joshua giggled, a huge smile breaking out onto his perfect lips as he nodded.

Aldo let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, his loving gaze going to longing when he looked down at Joshua's lips.

Joshua knew that look all too well, and turned to Utivich."Y'don't mind, if we...y'know, do you, Smithson?" He asked, wiping his eyes swiftly.

"No, sir, of course not. Congrats, I can't wait!" Utivich shook his head, clapping his hands quickly. On cue, he kicked the Colonel in the face, knocking him out and finally shutting him up.

"Thank you" Joshua squeaked, turning back to Aldo, pressing his lips against Aldo's own. He closed his eyes calmly, slinging both his arms around Aldo's neck and pulling him as close as he could, Aldo doing the same with his muscular arms around Joshua's waist.

Aldo slowly closed his eyes, momentarily lifting Joshua up, off the ground, to show how happy he was. He broke out into a grin when Josh's feet touched the ground again, going to kiss his cheek, jaw, then one final one on his neck. Aldo slowly pulled away from giving him his much-deserved affection, just to look at Joshua and smile."God, Joshua Margolis..." he called, hugging Josh.

"Hmm?" Joshua hummed, a warmhearted smile on his lips as he hugged Aldo tightly.

Aldo shook his head, "I love you. So goddamn much".

"Well, Aldo Raine..." Joshua sniffled, pulling away to look Aldo in the eyes."In, uh, i-in a way that's too damn much for anyone to understand, I love you too" he confessed, using his thumb to wipe a stray tear from under Aldo's right eye.

The pair burst out into a fit of soft giggles, knowing that as of this moment, they were no longer the inglorious boyfriends everyone could know, but inglorious husbands. Aldo and Joshua quickly reconnected their lips for another kiss, one that only Basterds who were truly in love could share.

*****

Thus concludes the tale of Lieutenant Joshua Margolis and Lieutenant Aldo Raine. You're probably wondering "But Beck!", And "What happens to them AFTER the movie?". Well, I'll tell you.

Right after this glorious kiss we left off at, Aldo pulls away. He looks Joshua right in his blue eyes, and his face finally breaks. Aldo's smile disappears, as he starts crying- and I'd be lying if I said Joshua doesn't start crying over Donny and the Basterds, too. I'd also be lying if I told you all that Utivich doesn't finally let his guard down and break down sobbing, like he almost did in the truck in Part 7. Joshua pulls Utivich into the hug, and it's a whole group-hug sob-fest that they're finally able to mourn over the Basterds they lost, in.

Joshua and Aldo moved on to fight in the Korean War side-by-side, in the early 50's. They retired from their respectful military lives sometime before the Vietnam War, and settled down. Shame, though: they would’ve kicked ass in it.

Aldo and Joshua settled down in Maynardville, Tennessee, back where it all began. Josh used his family money to build a Jewish day school near his childhood home, in honor of Donny (there's a plaque out front and everything). If possible, I’d like to believe he named it after Donny. 

Speaking of...Joshua was right, in Part 7. For years after the second world war ended, Aldo and him would find themselves spending many silent nights, lying awake, wishing things could have gone differently for the Basterds, imagining what could have been, thinking about how much they miss these truly good men. Joshua would occasionally find himself comforting Aldo, telling his husband how it wasn’t Aldo's fault, there was nothing they could have done, and so on, while holding back tears of his own because he’s having these same thoughts haunt him, too. These same thoughts, on how it was probably Josh's fault, and how there could've been something Josh could have done, and so on.

On a brighter note about the Basterds, the two of them made sure to put in an effort with keeping in touch with Utivich. Joshua and Aldo took in an orphan, a young boy. Wanna know what they named him? Easy.

Smithson Raine. They named their son after PFC Smithson Utivich, who was blown to tears after he found out. Aldo thought Utivich wouldn't cry, but Joshua knew he would.

Smithson Utivich retired from the military shortly after Aldo and Joshua did- he found a girl, got married, and had kids of his own, a son and a daughter, that he named Omar and Bridget.

Utivich eventually wrote and published a book, revolving around WW2. Specifically, the Basterds, his time with the Basterds, and their fates. He wrote stuff about Aldo Raine, and wasn’t afraid to hide Aldo’s romance with Joshua. He wrote about how Aldo and Joshua grew up together, got into military life together, formed the Basterds together, and how they shamelessly did so while romantically involved. This was because he had an inkling that the history books would merely write Aldo and Joshua off as ‘close friends’, but Utivich wanted to share the truth with the world. He wrote about how close Aldo and Joshua were, how they got married in secret, and took in a kid (he mentioned how he officiated the wedding, and how they named the child after him) and how their love never faltered, a day in their lives. This war autobiography grew to be a huge success, which is surprising, due to its clear message about Aldo’s and Joshua’s homosexuality. 

Smithson Utivich passed away in June 1996, 5 decades after WW2 ended (in Inglourious Basterds). He passed away due to a heart attack, his legacy being left behind in the form of his kids and his book.

Aldo and Joshua died hand-in-hand on December 25th, 1996, after Aldo’s long battle with cancer, and after Joshua came to the conclusion that his own pneumonia has won. Joshua left behind his childhood estate to their son Smithson Raine, who obeyed his parents’ wishes and buried them in Joshua’s family’s orchard, side by side. He’d have buried them side by side whether they asked him to or not; it would’ve made sense for them to be buried like that, since Aldo Raine and Joshua Margolis have been at each others’ sides their entire lives. And they should have the right to still be with each other, side by side, in death.

Because for these Inglourious Husbands, even death can’t do them part.

[richeeduvie]

・Rules n’ Stuff .・

things abt me!

20, she/her - lives in America. I belong to many fandoms so I thank you for tolerating me during my phases lol. When I'm not posting fic content, it's mostly reblogs from fandoms, horror, and musical theater. I'm always free to a message or ask outside of content, and I hope you always enjoy!

.・。.・゜��・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.

now taking requests!!

open to: one-shots, headcanons, alphabets, drabbles, and general asks - however! Please specify to what you are requesting (if you are requesting a drabble, hc post, etc.) so I know what you want. If you do not, it's possible I will take it as a general ask or something I have no specifics on)

Some Amazing Fanart done by you guys!

2024 RICHEEDUVIE CAMPAIGN

post I just found funny...

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MASTERLIST

- BETTER CALL SAUL CHARACTERS -

-- LALO SALAMANCA --

LALO SALAMANCA MASTERLIST

LALO MASTERLIST (for hc's and drabbles)

ULTIMATE LALO SALAMANCA MASTERLIST (All content here and updating)

LALO SALAMANCA MOODBOARD - @chainsawsangel BIG MISTAKE (MADMAN ONE-SHOT)

Since there is plenty of content, it is most likely that not everything will be tagged. Searching up "Madman!AU" usually brings everything u want to see <3

-- HOWARD, TUCO, MARCO and LEONEL, AND NACHO --

OTHER BCS CHARACTERS MASTERLIST

BETTER CALL SAUL LIST *NON LALO* (for hc's and drabbles)

TUCO SALAMANCA MASTERLIST

TUCO SALAMANCA MASTERLIST 2

✭・.・✫ ✭・.・✫ ✭・.・✫ ✭・.・

- Travis Hackett -

• Moonstruck | one-shot

✭・.・✫ ✭・.・✫ ✭・.・✫ ✭・.・

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NSFW ALPHABET

Pregnancy || Headcanons

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-- ROMAN ROY --

ROMAN ROY MASTERLIST 2

ROMAN ROY MASTERLIST

ROMAN ROY MASTERLIST (For HC's and Drabbles)

BONE AND HER HEART: ANGST ONE-SHOT, TW: ED

Since there is plenty of content, it is most likely that not everything will be tagged. Searching up "DogandBone!AU" usually brings everything u want to see <3

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KENDALL ROY MASTERLIST

STEWY HOSSEINI: Make It Right - Blurb

WEDDING BELLS: Part One (Stewy x Reader x Roman)

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HOMELANDER MASTERLIST

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-- OSWALD COBB --

Birdhouse in your soul (Drabble) Feather Trail (Blurb)

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Taking requests for

My Mains:

Lalo Salamanca (Better Call Saul)

Roman Roy (Succession)

Second Mains (ATM)

Aaron Hotchner (Criminal Minds)

Amanda Young (Saw)

Oswald Cobb (The Penguin, Reeves!verse)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.

Howard Hamlin (Better Call Saul)

Nacho Varga (Better Call Saul)

Tuco Salamanca (Better Call Saul)

Marco and Leonel (Better Call Saul)

Travis Hackett (The Quarry)

Homelander (The Boys)

Michael Myers (Halloween)

RZ! Michael Myers (Halloween Remake)

The Sinclair Brothers (House of Wax)

Hebert West (Re-Animator)

Thomas Hewitt (Texas Chainsaw Massacre)

Hans Landa (Inglorious Bastards)

Anton Chigurh (No Country For Old Men)

Norman Bates (Psycho)

Amanda Young (Saw)

Mark Hoffman (Saw)

Gomez and Morticia Addams (Addams Family)

Lestat De Lioncourt (Interview With The Vampire)

The Vampire Armand (Interview With The Vampire)

Louis De Pointe Du Lac (Interview With The Vampire)

Sofia (Gigante) Falcone (The Penguin)

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RULES

- Will do NSFW -

Not willing to:

Underage content

Necrophilla

Beastiality

OC x character

Ageplay

Thank you all to my lovely mutuals and readers whether you are silent on the blog or not!! You all mean so much to my writing and my love for these characters!!

[cozywriting]

Love, from Nantucket

An upcoming Inglourious Basterds fanfiction.

All characters and world setting elements belong to Quentin Tarantino and are credited as such. 

I do not own anything else unless stated otherwise.

Genre: Romance/Drama

Pairing: Hans Landa x oc

A Hans Landa character study.

It is post-World War II, and the Nazi regime has fallen. Officiated war veteran and former SS, Hans Landa is living quieter as a local detective on Nantucket Island. Life suddenly turns when Hans intertwines with a familiar face and must understand that you can never fully run from your past.

“Wouldn’t you rather know if there are any Jews hiding under our feet?”

“No, because it’s you I wish to know about.”

He dreamt of her again. 

Waves crashed at her feet, splashing the hem of her dress. Her eyes were ponds of blue, the coolness radiating the emerald glow in his. The sand was warm and soft. The rhythm of her laughter echoed across the beach. He moved closer, hoping to feel her this time. These were his favorite moments in his new life. She existed this way only in his dreams, and it was the only place he allowed himself to be vulnerable. 

It was always her, after all.

Every step he took, her figure began to fade. Slowly, then all together she vanished into the breeze. 

He was alone, once again.

Hans awoke with a gasp, covered in sweat. His ears perked at the clashing of high-tide waves outside his window. He quickly wiped a hand over his moist face, looking up at the ticking clock. 

4:17 a.m. 

He paid very little attention to another blonde stirring from under the covers next to him. 

“Hans? What’re you doin’…” She mumbled, clearly dazed from her sleep cycle.

Hans annoyingly stared down at her dozing form momentarily before sliding away the covers. Walking towards his closet, he slipped on some slacks and a buttoned-down shirt. 

He decided he would kick her out later. 

Hans walked down the stairs of his two-bedroom townhome and turned to open the guest bathroom. Since his days as an SS officer, people have proudly regarded him as a war hero. He swam in popularity and praise amongst the community. Still, he lived a quieter life on the island and was offered a work position for Nantucket’s local detective agency. 

He blamed his pride and squished the ounce of thought that knew it was the only way to hold onto the shell of his former life. 

The light flickered on with a switch, and he eyed his pale reflection before splashing cool water over his face. He was practically unrecognizable. Long gone were the years of his clean-shaven face. He now sported a dark beard but kept it well-trimmed. His sandy brown hair was styled a bit longer these days, and the tips of his bangs did the job on covering his most warranted scar. 

It was the talk of the town once he first arrived, his head wrapped up in layers of gauze. Somehow the local rumor mill created a distorted tale that it was a group of Nazi men to blame for viciously branding him. Though, this proved to be quite effective in garnering sympathy amongst the women he routinely bedded.

Hans always loved rumors. 

[knives-out20]

Inglourious Boyfriends - Part 8

Fandom: Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Pairing: Joshua Margolis (OC) x Lt. Aldo Raine

Word Count: 1220

Warnings: Spoilers For Inglourious Basterds,

Note: This Is It, Part 8. Part 9 Will Be The Finale, I Can’t Wait To Finally Show You All!

Hans had uncuffed Aldo, Joshua, and Utivich before he got on the phone with their General.

Utivich stood back, by the doorway of the room, pensively sipping his wine with his eyes glued on Hans. 

Aldo stayed put, his gaze fixed on the table as he was lost in deep thought while untying his bow tie with one hand. 

Joshua, meanwhile, had already finished his wine, so he stood right behind Aldo, massaging his shoulders.

"So when the military history of this night is written, it will be recorded that I was part of Operation Kino from the very beginning as a double agent. Anything I've done in my guise as an SS Colonel was sanctioned by the OSS as a necessary evil to establish my cover with the Germans. And it was my placement of Lieutenant Aldo Raine's and Captain Joshua Margolis' dynamite in Hitler and Goebbels' opera box that assured their demise".

Aldo looked up at Hans with a 'you gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me' look on his face, tugging his bow off with one hand to hang around his shoulders like a small, useless scarf.

"So that's what he did with our explosives? This fuckin' bitch" Joshua thought to himself.

"By the way, that last part's actually true" Hans claimed, telephone in his hands as he talked into it, walking around aimlessly."I want my full military pension and benefits under my proper rank, I want to receive the Congressional Medal of Honor for my invaluable assistance in the toppling of the Third Reich..." he stopped walking, to ponder."In fact, I want all the members of Operation Kino to receive the Congressional Medal of Honor".

Joshua tried his best to seem calm and collected, but with his boyfriend of almost 15 years and best friend of around 30, along with a Basterd who feels like a brother to him being in the room, it was clear to them that the ugly truth of Donny's incoming death was shaking him up. So he distracted himself with Aldo, trying to set his mind on solely massaging his shoulders.

"Y'okay, Joshy?" Aldo mumbled, not moving his head.

Joshua nodded strictly, even though Aldo couldn't see him. He felt Utivich's eyes on the back of his head.

"Joshua?".

"Yes, sir" Joshua sounded mentally exhausted. He heard Utivich put his wine glass down, and footsteps walking over; this was followed by a soft hand on his shoulder.

Utivich's silent form of comfort. He pulled through by going for a hug- Joshua used one hand as a half-hug back, the other still working on Aldo's shoulder.

"I-I'll be okay, Smithson. Go, uh, finish yer wine" Joshua instructed, Utivich hesitantly following the order. Josh went back to massaging both of Aldo's shoulders, staring off into space with his jaw clenched.

"Hey," Aldo looked up at Joshua, squinting due to the light."I love you. Y'know that, right?".

Joshua nodded."I love you too, Aldo".

"You also know that if Omar and Donowitz go out without us, they'll go out with bravery? They know they're doin' the righteous thing, and we should give 'em that".

Joshua blinked back tears at the thought of never seeing his best friend again, nodding; Aldo has always been a soldier first and foremost, so it's no wonder Aldo is trying to distract them by using the plan."O-Only thing that takes Donny Donowitz out is 'imself".

Aldo silently groaned, reaching up to pat one of Joshua's hands."I'll miss 'em, too" he weakly admitted, already starting to wish that things could have gone differently, that the fates of the men he cared so deeply about could've been helped.

At least he still has Utivich, and Joshua, after all this time.

"Full citizenship for myself- well, that goes without saying. And, I would like the United States of America to purchase property for me on Nantucket Island as a reward for all the countless lives I've saved by bringing the tyranny of the National Socialist Party to a swifter-than-imagined end. Do you have all that, sir?" Landa asked, so full of himself that he didn't catch the quick kiss Joshua planted on the top of Aldo's head."I look forward to seeing you face to face as well, sir...Lieutenant Raine?" He turned to face Joshua and Aldo."Right here" Hans walked over, Aldo taking the phone from him.

Aldo softly nudged Joshua, a gesture for him to back away from Hans.

Joshua pulled his hands away, stepping away from Aldo and Hans, arms at his sides and at attention.

"Yes, sir?" Aldo started into the phone. He listened intently to what the General on the phone was saying, unaware of Hans' gaze focusing on Joshua, who arched a brow when he noticed.

"You know, Lieutenant Margolis, you haven't spoken much since I mentioned Donowitz's inevitable peril" he pointed out.

Joshua cleared his throat."Uh...J-Just...takin' it all in, I suppose" he spoke, taking a step back when Hans took a step toward him."It's not everyday when yer best friend is gonna die and you can't do anythin' about it".

Landa nodded knowingly."Of course, I'm in the right to assume you have a grotesque history with Sergeant Donowitz, as well?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow as the words dripped off his tongue like poison.

"E-Excuse me?" Joshua's expression changed to an offended one, so fast.

The Colonel hummed, taking another step towards him, making Joshua take a step back."I'm also in the right to guess you've had unspeakable pasts with all the men in your little team, eh?" He hissed. Abruptly, Hans reached out, his hand cupping Joshua's cheek."Shame. Disfiguring a Jew with a disgusting lifestyle like yours, but with such a face like yours...it would have brought me so much joy. Especially a body like yours, that your old man's friend supposedly defiled".

Joshua shifted uncomfortably, glancing at Utivich, then Aldo.

Utivich stared at them, pushing himself off of the wall. He glanced over at Aldo, who mumbled "yes sir, excuse me a second-" when he saw Hans with his hand on Joshua.

"Get yer nasty fuckin' Nazi hands off 'im!" Aldo's voice boomed, as he stood up immediately.

Hans closed his eyes, taking a deep, annoyed breath. He painted a fake smile onto his face, pulling away from Joshua and turning around."Aldo, I'm glad you went through that call well. I was just telling your lapdog here how this deal does't fully satisfy me like he apparently fully satisfied that one man" he chirped, Joshua running around him, over to stand behind Aldo.

Aldo glanced over at Joshua, gaze going soft on him, but cold as ice when they returned to Landa."He's not my fuckin' lapdog. He's a Lieutenant who could easily kick yer ass if we didn't make this goddamn deal".

Hans put is hands up, shrugging."Whatever you say, Lieutenant. If anything, I bet ol' Margolis was begging for it".

Aldo stepped forward, more than ready to take a swing at Hans for continuously bring up what had happened to Joshua (which truly happened).

Joshua put a hand on Aldo's shoulder, softly calling him."Aldo, don't".

Aldo turned to look down at Joshua, shoulders slightly relaxing as he obliged.”Fine”.

[knives-out20]

Inglourious Boyfriends - Part 7

Fandom: Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Pairing: Joshua Margolis (OC) x Lt. Aldo Raine

Word Count: 3045

Warning: Spoilers For Inglorious Basterds,

Note: This Is Part 7, And OOOH, Is This Where Shit Gets Good! We May Be Drawing Close To The End, But Fear Not. I’m Gonna Be Posting A Series For Donny, And Another OC. A Trans FtM OC, By The Name Of Mordecai Rosenthal. Anyways, Let’s Enjoy The Present.

“You Jerry-bangin', Limburg-smellin'..." Aldo panted, just about feeling Joshua's elbow touch his. He heard a familiar German voice, and suddenly the Nazis let go of both him and Joshua.

“As Stanley said to Livingstone, Lieutenant Aldo Raine, I presume? And the wonderful Lieutenant Joshua Margolis" Hans mocked, sounding like he was standing right in front of Aldo.

"Hans Landa." Aldo said, under the black bag.

Joshua heard a truck engine start from behind them.

"You two have had a nice, long run together, Aldo, Joshua. Alas, you're both now in the hands of the SS. My hands to be exact".

"Yea, yea, and if those oily hands go anywhere on Joshua, I'll break free, right here, right now, and chop you in half like a goddamn wiener schnitzel" Aldo growled.

"Ah, fear not, Aldo. They've been waiting a long time to touch you, first" Hans cackled, tapping where Aldo's nose is."Once I'm through with you, I'll see what I can do with little Joshy boy over here. Certainly nothing like his father's friend did" he giggled, turning to look at Joshua.

Aldo flinched back when Hans touched him, anger bubbling up inside when Hans mentioned Joshua- let alone, when Hans called his Joshua 'Joshy', and mentioned what had happened to HIS Joshy.

"Caught you flinching".

Aldo head-butted Hans aggressively, ending in Joshua and him getting pushed into the back of the truck by Nazis."You had it comin', you had it comin', asshole! Touch me, again, Kraut-burger. So much as mention goin' anywhere NEAR Joshua, and I'll break yer bones!" He threatened, as the Nazis forced Joshua and him to sit down.

Once the truck started to drive off, Joshua leaned his head on Aldo's shoulder, exhausted, and still a little scared.

"Y'okay, sunshine?" Aldo mumbled, turning to where he felt Joshua.

Joshua hummed softly."St-Still, uh, still kinda scared" he confessed."It's not like they'll do...what- what he did to me, right?" He asked, voice cracking.

"Ah, don't worry 'bout it. We'll get outta here in no time, go round the boys up, and make sure all hell truly breaks loose. Baby, I'm right here, okay? I'd hold you if I could, but, clearly I can't...I love you, Joshua" Aldo quietly reassured, his arm grazing against Joshua's.

"I love you too, Aldo" Joshua returned.

After a few beats of slightly-comfortable silence, another voice spoke up. This time, a welcome one."Is that you, Lieutenants? Joshua?".

"Yea- Utivich?" Aldo called, sitting up straight, as did Joshua.

Joshua sighed in relief."Utivich! Ugh, I'm so happy t'see- uh, hear ya. I missed you, brother" he grinned under the black bag.

"Do you know what happened to Donny?" Utivich asked, sniffling."Omar? The woman?" He shakily added, voice wobbling.

"No, we do not. Most we know is that some Nazi named Hans Landa brought her into a room after Donny and Omar entered the theater room" Joshua explained."Utivich, are you...okay? Y'sound like yer cryin'".

Utivich didn't reply.

"Utivich?".

"I'm fine" he muttered."Just- Just as scared as you are" Utivich whimpered.

Joshua cooed softy."Listen t'me, Smithson. We're- We're gonna be fine, alright? As long as we got Aldo, we'll be alright".

"Okay" Utivich whispered.

The truck slowly came to a stop, the three Basterds hearing the front doors open. They heard footsteps come around to the back, unlocking something and felt arms pulling them out of the back, one by one. Individually, Aldo, Joshua, and Utivich were pushed inside some building, into a room and shoved down into three chairs, side by side.

Their black bags were pulled off their faces, Utivich gasping in response while Aldo squeezed his eyes shut and shook his hair out from his face; Joshua inhaled sharply, blowing a stray strand of hair from his eyes. Utivich looked up at the Nazis that escorted them inside, the three men all finally locking eyes with Hans, across the table in front of them.

Hans had a proud smile on his face."Tell me, Aldo, if I were sitting where you're sitting, would you show me mercy?" He asked, quizzically.

Aldo smirked, tilting his head back and squinting, suspicious.

Joshua and Utivich turned to look at him in unison.

"Nope." He blankly replied, giving Hans half of a full head-shake.

Hans sighed, turning to Utivich."What is that English expression about shoes and feet?" The Nazi asked, gesturing to his own feet.

Joshua answered for him, "'Looks like the shoe is on the other foot', I was just thinkin' o'that".

Hans smiled at him."Your looks truly deceive you. Good-looking and smart. Sadly, not smart enough to know that no one would believe those claims you made of what your father's friend allegedly did to you" he shrugged, smile growing when Aldo scowled. Landa gestured for the Nazis to leave, the guards immediately following their orders and exiting the room. This left Hans, Aldo, and Joshua alone, as Aldo craned his head to watch the guards stop to stay alert outside the room.

Aldo, as he turned back around, looked at Utivich, who was holding a dead, empty stare on Hans. He checked on Joshua quickly, wanting to take a look at him first before paying attention to Hans; though, he had his knee pressed against Josh's. The two of them always shared subtle touches like that when they weren't able to directly talk to one another, or be able to get any physically closer.

"So you're Aldo the Apache" Hans nodded in disbelief.

"So yer the Jew Hunter" Aldo returned, not noticing Joshua's gaze on the scar around his neck.

"I'm a detective. A damn good detective. Finding people is my specialty, so naturally, I've worked for the Nazis finding people, and yes, some of them were Jews, but Jew Hunter?" The Colonel snorted as if it were a mildly-funny joke."Just a name that stuck".

"Well you do have to admit-" Utivich started, Joshua cutting him off with "it is catchy".

"Even more catchy than 'Pineapple Bomb'?" Hans shot back, resting an arm on the table as he looked Joshua in the eyes."Tell me, where did that nickname even come from? I will admit, you do appear as fresh as a newly-picked fruit-" he held back a grin when Aldo turned to glare at him, "but I may need some backstory".

"It's 'cause Joshua is skillful at usin' explosives, and looks sweet while doin' it" Aldo replied, eyeing Joshua and his messy hair.

Hans nodded, looking Joshua up and down."I'm sure you do, Joshy" he winked playfully, Joshua looking physically disgusted.

"Don't call him Joshy" Aldo spoke through grit teeth, about ready to free his hands and fist-fight the Colonel.

The Colonel laughed, turning to Utivich to pester him."Do you control the nicknames your enemies bestow on you? Aldo the Apache, Pineapple Bomb, and the Little Man?".

Aldo winced softy, biting his lip as he looked away to not register Utivich's reaction.

"What do you mean the Little Man?" Utivich's voice went soft.

Hans shrugged once again, "Germans' nickname for you".

"The Germans' nickname for me is the Little Man?".

"And as if to make my point, I'll also admit, I'm a little surprised at how tall you are in real life. I mean, you're a little fellow, but not circus-midget little as your reputation would suggest".

"Alright, alright, alright, ugh” Joshua cut in."Utivich, brother-".

"Brother?" Hans looked surprised.

"Not by blood, dumbass" Joshua huffed."He's not serious. I- I mean, c'mon. If the Nazis could rip off the swastika from the Sanskrit svastika for supposed 'good fortune' or 'well-being', surely they could think up a better name than Little Man. Plus, look at Landa. I doubt he’s any taller than you. Why did the Nazis let this short man join, anyway? Guys, he’s built like a dwarf" he sassed. Joshua always jumped at the chance to come at anyone who ever tried Utivich, as he said, the man’s like a brother to him.

Hans tutted, shaking his head."Big talk from a soldier who's nothing without Aldo being able to protect his pretty little face, especially like he couldn't supposedly protect you from your father's friend" he pursed his lips, eyebrows raising as he could feel Aldo give him the dagger-glare."I'll have so much fun tearing you apart".

Joshua raised his head confidently, leaning closer to Aldo.

"Joshua Margolis..." Hans breathed, scanning the Captain."I remember seeing your name cover newspapers around ten years ago. You can't be serious when you say you expected people to believe you, hmm? Such a disgrace, lying for attention. Who would believe that your father's friend would ever have the audacity to do that to you, to ra-".

"Where's my men?" Aldo changed the topic."Where's Bridget Von Hammersmark?".

Joshua turned to look up at Aldo, biting the edge of his lip as his chest grew heavy in a pain of it's own. He may have sounded casual when asking Hans about where Omar and Donny were, but Joshua heard the faint, underlying voice crack in that question. Growing up with Aldo, Joshua knows him, and he knows how much Aldo truly cared for the Basterds, all of them.

Hans inhaled, looking down."Well, let's just say, she got what she deserved. And when you purchase friends like Bridget Von Hammersmark, you get what you pay for" he hissed, Joshua's whole body going rigid in shock."Oh, no, hopefully you weren't too close to her already?" Landa ridiculed, turning to Joshua."Ah, who am I kidding? All night, it's been more than clear where your affections lie..." the Colonel slowly panned his gaze from Joshua, cold eyes landing on Aldo, who stared right back at him."Disgusting. As if you weren't scum of the earth enough, already. No wonder you'll end up burning in hell" he spat, eyes flickering between Aldo and Joshua.

Joshua huffed, stern gaze on Landa."Ugh, l-like we need a malnourished Nazi-fuck tellin' us how to live our goddamn lives".

"Now, as far as your paesanos, Sergeant Donowitz and and Private Omar..." he ignored Joshua, leaning back in his seat.

"How you know our names?" Aldo cut off, Utivich now looking at him.

"Lieutenant Aldo, if you don't think I wouldn't interrogate every single one of your swastika-marked survivors..." Hans adjusted how he sat, shaking his head in shame."Then one, clearly you aren't as bright as your beau over here" he pointed out, looking at Joshua like he was old gum under his shoe."And two, we simply aren't operating on the level of mutual respect I assumed".

"No, I guess not" Aldo agreed.

"Well, back to the whereabouts of your two Italian saboteurs" Hans tapped the wooden table, dusting off his uniform."As of this moment, both Omar and Donowitz should be sitting in the very seats we left them in. Double-zero twenty-three and double-zero twenty-four, if my memory serves. Explosives still around their ankles, still ready to explode, and your mission- some would call a terrorist plot- as of this moment, is still a go".

Utivich and Joshua locked eyes in fear- their best friend, alongside Omar, was going to explode, blissfully unaware that Bridget's dead, and the three of them were captured.

"That's a pretty exciting story, what's next, ‘Eliza On Ice’?" Aldo looked around the room, disinterested, cracking a proud-of-himself smile when Joshua snorted. He swiped his thigh against Josh's, needing a constant reminder that Joshua was right there, that they were together- that's how it always should be.

Joshua may have found what Aldo said funny, but he caught the look of sadness, and pain, that flashed over Aldo's eyes at the idea of Omar and Donny dying.

Joshua and Aldo were all the other one had, until Donny and the Basterds came into the picture; both of their parents died already, so they really had no big family to return to. The Basterds were all they had, now, too. Aldo and him could have had the opportunity to save Wicki, Hicox, and Stiglitz, but with Hans holding them hostage, there was no way they could possible be able to save the others. Sure, their sacrifices could win the war, but if there's one thing Joshua knows, it's that Aldo may as well end up laying awake at night, years after this one, wishing this all could have gone differently.

Joshua knows for a fact that he'll be doing the same.

"However," Hans crossed both his arms on the table, now ignoring Aldo."All I have to do is pick up this phone right here, inform the cinema, and your plan is kaput".

"If they're still here, and if they're still alive, and sadly, that's one big if, there ain't no way yer goin' to take them boys without settin' off them bombs".

"I have no doubt. And yes, some Germans will die, yes, it will ruin the evening, and yes, Goebbels will be very, very, very mad at you for what you've done to his big night. But you won't get Hitler, you won't get Goebbels, you won't get Göring, and you won't get Bormann. And you need all four to end the war. But if I don't pick up this phone right here," Hans tapped the phone on the table between them, "you may very well get all four. And if you get all four, you end the war...tonight".

"Ah, that's all fun and- and games, Dr. Seuss, but ya didn't need t'say it twice. We're not the stupid ones in this room" Joshua insulted, Aldo giving him a pleased glance.

"Whatever. Gentlemen," Hans rolled his eyes, bringing out four wine glasses and pouring red wine equally into all of them."Let's discuss the prospect of ending the war, tonight. So, the way I see it, since Hitler's death or possible rescue rests solely on my reaction, if I do nothing, it's as if I'm causing his death even more than yourselves, wouldn't you agree?".

"I guess so" Aldo blinked slowly.

"How about you, Utivich?" Hans inquired, placing three wine glasses in front of the Jews, who couldn't even drink them, given that their hands were literally tied.

Utivich glanced down at the glass in front of him, then back up at Colonel Landa."I guess so, too".

"And what about you, Prettyboy Basterd?" Hans teased, turning to Joshua.

Joshua silently looked to Aldo, nodding and mumbling "yea".

"Gentlemen, I have no intention of killing Hitler, and killing Goebbels, and killing Göring, and killing Bormann. Not to mention, winning the war single-handedly for the Allies, only later to find myself standing before a Jewish tribunal" Landa paused for effect."If you want to win the war tonight, we have to make a deal" he smiled hopefully.

Aldo leaned back like he was in a spa, Utivich and Joshua not budging."What kind of deal?".

"The kind you wouldn't have the authority to make. However, I'm sure this mission of yours has a commanding officer. A general. I'm betting for...OSS would be my guess" Landa rhymed, annoying Joshua further. He exclaimed in excitement when none of the three men answered, saying "that's a bingo!".

Joshua looked confused; that's not how you say it. 

"Is that the way you say it? 'That's a bingo'?".

"You just say 'bingo'" Joshua corrected.

"Bingo! How fun!". The smile quickly vanished from Hans' face."But I digress, where were we? Yea! Making a deal. Over there is a very capable two-way radio" he pointed to the radio in the room behind them, from which they came from."And sitting behind it is a more-than-capable radio operator named...Hermann" Landa remembered, or probably just guessed."Get me someone on the other end of that radio with the power of the pen to authorize my...let's call it, the terms of my conditional surrender. If that tastes better going down".

Aldo sat back up again, leaning in."You know, where Joshua and I are from-".

"Yea? Where is that, exactly?" Hans cut him off in question, as if interviewing him.

"Maynardville, Tennessee" Aldo smiled, reminiscing the old days of when it was just Joshua and him, growing up, sneaking moonshine liquor while they were too young to drink, and even younger, when Joshua had to teach Aldo how to spell 'Tennessee'. It's better nowadays, because Joshua continuously pulls the "because yer the only ten-I-see" line on Aldo, which makes him a pile of lovey-dovey goo every time."We've done our share of bootleggin’” he explained, Joshua nodding along in accordance."Up there, you can engage in what the federal government calls illegal activity-".

"Which I'm sure you two engaged in a lot" Hans assumed, blinking between Joshua and Hans.

Joshua nodded, very clearly unashamed.

"And which I'm sure Joshua wished his father's friend did to him, seeing as he went as far as to lying about the man rap-".

"He wasn't finished!" Joshua barked, a certain animosity in his eyes. He glanced up at Aldo, quickly forcing himself to calm down. If Hans didn't believe Josh, so what? He remembers that incident, clear as day (much to his distaste), as does he remember how his dad's friend took advantage of him. That haunting memory is more proof than anything that it happened.

"But...But what we call just a man tryin' to make a livin' for his family sellin' moonshine liquor, it behooves oneself to keep his wits" he finished, Aldo nodding for verification."Long story short, we hear a story too good to be true, it ain't" he forced a cheeky smile onto his face.

Hans nodded blankly."Sitting in your chairs, I would probably say the same thing. And nine-nine-nine point nine-nine-nine times out of a million, you two cheeky boys would be correct. But in the pages of history, every once in a while, fate reaches out and extends its hand".

Aldo, Joshua, and Utivich stared at Hans silently.

Hans outstretched his arms, shrugging carelessly."What shall the history books read?".

[knives-out20]

Inglourious Boyfriends - Part 6

Fandom: Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Pairing: Joshua Margolis (OC) x Lt. Aldo Raine

Word Count: 2293

Warnings: Spoilers For Inglourious Basterds,

Note: And We’re Back With Part 6! Quite A Long One, But We Have Longer Ones Ahead. I REALLY Hope You Guys Are Giving This Series The Time Of Day, I Really Love It And Joshua And Aldo Mean So Much To Me Right Now. Part 7 Of 3.0 Out Tomorrow!

Joshua shifted his weight from one foot to the other, holding onto Aldo's arm as he looked around nervously.

"What's wrong?" Aldo automatically asked, turning his attention down to Joshua."Yer actin' all skittish" he knew Josh's tells when he's nervous, and doing that foot thing while darting his pretty blue eyes around was one of them.

Joshua looked up at Aldo helplessly, both his arms around Aldo's; the one he was previously just holding onto.

Aldo used his free hand to momentarily cup Joshua's cheek."Don't worry- we've been plannin' and goin' through with missions since before we could foxtrot, Joshy. We'll be fine".

Joshua nodded along, going to turn away, but Aldo stopped him from looking the other way.

"By the way," he sighed slowly, "you look unbelievably beautiful tonight, honey. Yer practically..." Aldo paused, looking for a word quickly."Glowin’. Maybe it's the light?" He asked, winking.

Joshua broke out into his first smile all night, fully positioning himself to face Aldo."You look so fuckin' good, though" he softly purred, trailing his hands down Aldo's chest, admiring him in the white tuxedo he wore.

"Not as good as you, baby, look at ya" Aldo smiled lovingly, cupping both of Joshua's cheeks and stroking them with his thumbs. He had his eyes on Joshua's, so whether he meant Joshua wearing a suit looked good, or if Joshua in general looked good, was beyond both of them. All Aldo knows is that he's been love-struck for Joshua ever since Josh was 15.

"If I didn't know any better 'bout your skills, I'd oughta send you into the film industry. A face like yer's would make it big, Joshy, I swear. That Clark Gable feller y'love so much wouldn't know what fuckin' hit him".

Joshua looked down, a shy smile on his face. He looked around quickly, careful to make sure no one was looking at them. Fast as light, Joshua wrapped his arms around Aldo's neck, and gave him a quick kiss on the lips."I love you, Aldo".

"Shucks-" Aldo grinned lazily, hands dragging down to Joshua's sides."I love you too, Josh".

"So, you two..." Bridget cut in, as Omar and Donny stood at attention (the Basterds were more than used to Aldo and Joshua taking their free time to practically worship each other).

Aldo groaned, arching a brow as he turned his head to Bridget."Yes?" He asked, Joshua rolling his eyes.

"You two are pretty open about each other" Bridget awkwardly commented.

"What, y'got a problem with it?" Aldo asked, the look he gave her reminding her how he could easily foil this plan as quickly as they started it. He kept an arm on Joshua, who pulled both of his own arms away, crossed in front of him.

"No, not at all, I'm just surprised. How long have you...?" She cleared her throat, glancing at Joshua, who looked at her with his tongue poking the inside of his cheek."If I'm allowed to ask, how old are you two, anyways?".

"Ugh, y-you are" Joshua replied. He pointed to himself with his right thumb, "ripely in my late twenties m’lady".

Aldo put his free hand on his hip."I m'self, I'm thirty. Bein’ best friends since childhood, despite Joshy's richer upbringin’, our love has aged finer than any wine out there" he explained.

Bridget nodded, turning to Joshua."And when exactly did you...y'know, know that females weren't for you?".

Joshua hummed, Aldo stealing a quick kiss when he puckered his lips in thought. He giggled, "uh, I- I think when I was around, say, my teen years. But I've always been this way, I only found out at around the right time".

"Since childhood?" Bridget asked for verification, the two nodding."No wonder you two are extremely close".

"Yes, ma'am. I'm Joshy's rock just as much as he is mine" Aldo smiled."Growin' up with Margolis, ya learn a thang or two about guns 'n' things that blow up. Whether it be makin' 'em, usin' em', aimin' 'em, or detonatin' 'em. Especially about bombs, explosives, or Mk-two grenades. That's why we call him Pineapple Bomb; he knows how to use 'em, and looks sweet while doin' it" he addressed, Donny and Omar nodding in agreement.

"If you are together, why does Margolis insist on calling you 'sir' or 'Lieutenant'? You are both the same rank" Von Hammersmark squinted.

"I, uh, I- I feel the need t'show Aldo as much respect as the other Basterds do" Joshua answered.

"Yea, and if he addresses me as such, around strangers, it makes him seem like just a loyal, fellow Lieutenant that goes to bite at people who insult me- which he does, every time. I can hold him back by doin' so much as saying his name".

"Ugh, n-not true" Joshua huffed, crossing his arms.

"You were very insistent on fightin' that Werner guy, in case you don't remember. And when we first got our hands on Von Hammersmark here, you almost stomped down those rickety stairs when Wilhelm just called me an 'idiot'" Aldo teased, nudging Joshua."Y'see, if any of the Basterds were to try stoppin' him, he won't let 'em, only I can. He's always been protective like that".

"I remember there being tabloids about you a while back" Bridget recollected, pointing at Joshua."Forgive me for being curious, but did that all really happen to you?".

Joshua stepped closer to Aldo, nodding."No matter what a-anyone said, yes, it did. The person who did that to me has been taken care of now, which- which is good, but the memory happens to stick around. Luckily for me, my lady, what happened to me- which did happen- does not define me in any way, shape or form".

Bridget nodded, turning around when she heard a man call "Fräulein Von Hammersmark".

The group turned their attention to a man in a Nazi uniform, with slick, thinning hair and whom looked to be much older than Aldo. 

Joshua took a step closer to Aldo, almost standing behind him.

Bridget plastered a smile onto her face, opening her arms in a welcoming way. She spoke to him in German, most likely welcoming him before doing that greeting-kiss that most sophisticated people do, the one Joshua encountered- and had to do- a lot, in his life.

The man turned his attention down to Bridget's leg in the cast, most likely questioning it.

"What're they sayin'?" Aldo whispered, leaning back, into Joshua.

"He, uh, he- he's askin' her about her leg" Joshua mumbled, clenching his jaw. He jumped softly when the man exploded in laughter, turning away."You mentioned mountain climbin', yea?" He mumbled, leaning towards Bridget.

"What do you think he's laughing at, then?" She returned rhetorically, glancing at him.

Joshua, Donny, and Aldo exchanged uncomfortable glances with one another, Aldo shrugging slightly with his hands on his hips.

Omar just stared at the man in plain, and utter disgust.

Once the man calmed down, he walked back over. He reclaimed their conversation in German, Bridget nodding along until he turned to look at Omar, Donny, Aldo and Joshua.

Bridget sighed before answering, shaking her head, but then pointing at Joshua, who pointed at himself."German?".

Joshua raised his eyebrows when he caught on, nodding. He held up a hand, scrunching his face up as he left a small amount of space between his pointer finger and his thumb, to give off the image that he only knew a little German.

"This handsome gentleman is Cecilio D'Alfonso" Bridget introduced in German, putting her hands on Joshua's arm."That is the wonderful and equally-good-looking Italian stuntsman, Enzo Gorlami" she pointed over at Aldo, "Cecilio is Mr. Gorlami's assistant".

Aldo nodded at the man, giving Joshua a quick smile as Bridget went on to introduce Donny and Omar with their aliases; Antonio Margheriti the cameraman and Dominick Decocco, Antonio's camera assistant. 

Bridget switched to Italian, introducing the man as Colonel Hans Landa of the SS.

"Bawnjourno" Aldo greeted, nervously holding his ticket.

Hans began speaking quickly in Italian, Joshua barely getting any of it.

"Gratzi" Aldo blankly returned.

"You said you know the most Italian and all yer capable of knowin' is 'hello' and 'thank you'?" Joshua thought, looking at Aldo with slight disgust, who looked like he was nailing it, as far as passing as an Italian went.

Hans pointed at Joshua, suspiciously repeating "Cecilio D’Alfonso?", as if he was asking if he was pronouncing it correctly.

Joshua nodded.

Hans nodded back, promptly turning to Aldo.”Gorlomi?”.

"Si- uh, correcto" Aldo nodded.

"Gorlam-lomi?" Hans looked unsure.

"Gorlami" Aldo called, holding up his hand as he repeated it.

Joshua kept his eyes on Aldo, madly uncomfortable.

Aldo sighed softly, glancing away in annoyance before leaning in and saying "Gorlami" softly. When Hans turned his attention to Donny, Aldo looked to Joshua."Did I do good?" He whispered.

"Oh, d-did you do goo- I oughta slap you in this here premiere" Joshua scolded, taking step toward Aldo and raising his hand in a threatening way.

Aldo grabbed his wrist."But you wouldn't actually though, would'ya?" He tilted his head, eyebrows raised in a knowing way.

Joshua closed his eyes, a shiver going up his body."Mmh- n-no".

Aldo nodded and let go, looking over at Donny.

Bridget piped up in German, once Omar smoothly introduced himself, Hans stopping her to ask to see their tickets. 

He got both of the ones Donny held in his hand, muttering in Italian. Hans bade Omar and Donny goodbye, Donny sparing Aldo, Bridget, then Joshua one last glance as he walked off.

Joshua offered him a reassuring smile, tossing in a wave as Aldo repeated "Arrivederci".

Bridget held Aldo's and Joshua's arms in her own, bidding Hans farewell and going to walk off.

Hans stepped in front of her, stopping all three of them by raising his hand. He called for a waiter, offering Bridget, Aldo, and Joshua glasses of champagne off of the waiter's silver plate.

Joshua understood "a glass of champagne, to toast 'Nation's Pride'", swiftly translating it to Aldo. He and Aldo looked over at each other once more, wincing gently before gluing their eyes back onto Hans. Numb, they held up their glasses, allowing Hans and Bridget to clink them all together. 

Hans gently held Bridget's arm, whispering to her in German as Aldo and Joshua looked around awkwardly, Joshua downing his champagne fiercely. He mumbled something to them after Bridget nodded, leading her away and into some room, closing the door behind them.

Joshua cringed in disgust."Ew, at a- at a premiere?".

"I'm sure that's not why they're in there. She called us handsome, remember? Lil' lady clearly has better taste than a Nazi like that" Aldo told.

Joshua trailed his hand up Aldo's chest, putting his empty glass on the plate of a waiter who passed by."I don't- I don't know what's more beautiful, this theater, or the great, good-lookin’ 'Enzo Gorlami' right in front of me" he teased, a smirk on his lips that showed that he knows what he wants.

Aldo chuckled, raising an eyebrow in obvious interest."Even though I caught m'self starin' at you from time to time durin' that whole ordeal...Weren't you jus' grimacin' at the idea of canoodlin' at a premiere, 'Cecilio D'Alfonso'?" He reminded, fingertips running through Joshua's perfectly-combed hair.

Joshua hummed lowly."Au contraire. Sometimes I can- I can look at the menu, I just can't order, Aldo. Sometimes." He challenged, knuckles brushing against Aldo's cheek."I love you, Aldo".

Aldo's shoulders dropped, letting his guard down as he snaked his arm around the small of Joshua's back."I love you too, Joshua. More than y'could ever imagine, with that Einstein brain of yours".

Joshua waved his hand dismissively, "ah, s-stop it, Aldo. We're in public".

"Like that'd ever stop anybody from tryin' t'make a move on ya" Aldo whispered, sparing Joshua a kiss on the cheek."I love you, Joshy. Seriously".

Joshua gazed into Aldo's blue eyes, a sweet smile on his lips."I love you too, Aldo. You know this, already".

Aldo and Joshua physically pulled away from one another, but weren't given another second to themselves when a group of sharply uniformed Nazis tackled them to the ground, shoving black bags over their heads. 

Joshua heard Aldo's champagne glass crash to the floor; pity, he was finally going to drink from that, too. He squirmed around, kicking and trying to free his hands as Aldo, like always, stayed the more verbal type.

"Fuckin' shithead faggot fuck- fuck you!" His swears were muffled by the bag, as Joshua felt rough rope tying his hands together."Bunch of shithead- fuck-" Aldo swore, feeling the bombs tied to his ankles being untied.

"Fuck, Aldo, th-the explosives" Joshua called, risking rope burn as he tried moving his hands around.

"Oh, I oughta- if any of you fucks lay a hand on him- I'll kill you, all of you faggots, y'hear me?" Aldo cursed."Fuck you, too, whoever had the balls to tackle him".

Joshua grunted, as the Nazis harshly pulled Aldo and him up, off the floor."Aldo, I-I'm scared" he whimpered.

"It's okay, Joshy, we'll be fine, it's okay, okay?" Aldo called, followed by an predatory growl."Goddamn Nazi farts, sons of bitches! Get yer hands off of us" Aldo continued to cuss the Nazis out, as they dragged Joshua and him out of the theaters.

"Let go of Aldo, you pieces of horseshit!" Joshua wriggled around.

"You fuckin' bratwurst-smelling'- goddamn, you! Get off, let go of him! Let go of Joshua!".