#Hange's dealing with stress
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A Minute of Rest
Based on the art by @shunkani
Dancing candle flames and the muted glow of the lanterns swam before her eyes. Hange Zoe would swap tedious hours of paperwork with titan or—as these days demanded—technological research any time. The mechanisms of a rail engine or the complex arrangements and workings of gears and wires were certainly more suited for her exhausted brain than planning the next steps of their alliance with Hizuru.
Nevertheless, it wasn’t like she had much of a choice. With a sigh, she adjusted her glasses and pulled another sheet towards herself. Yellow parchment, embedded with small black text. Shadows flickered around the words. Her brain caught fragments of them.
Diplomatic relations with Hizuru date back to more than a century ago . . .
The unique characteristics of the Iceburst stone enable . . .
Potential reason of interest . . .
. . . cornered nation . . . no other country tolerates Eld . . .
She hunched over the table, squinting at the document, willing her mind to turn the words over and whip out a solution. There was a throbbing in her temples, and her back was stiff. But no, they had to plan their next moves; Hizuru had extended a hand of friendship and provided Paradis with ample resources for research about the outer world. She had to go through it all, understand the stance and motives of as many countries as she could. She wasn’t going to consider Hizuru as a reliable ally though, they were more concerned with Mikasa and the Iceburst stone rather than a good future for Paradis.
Hange slumped over her desk, face hidden in her arms. She was so tired of dealing with hate and mistrust and selfish, close-minded people. So tired.
A door opened behind her; quiet, measured footsteps sounded.
Levi.
A scraping sound on her desk followed by the weight of a hand on her shoulder.
‘Hange,’ his voice was low and made something warm and soothing unfurl in her stomach.
‘Mmm?’
‘Get your ass in bed if you’re so tired.’
She lifted her head. Levi was standing beside her, shadows playing upon his face; there was a cup of steaming tea on her desk. She sighed, pulling another paper towards herself, ‘Can’t.’
‘Your brain won’t understand shit in this state. Get some rest, a few hours won’t hurt.’
Oh yes they would. She squeezed her eyes shut. Time was precious, if she slept now who knows how many seconds, how many minutes would trickle through her fingers like water, and then she’d wake up, regretting it, because she could have done more research, maybe she’d have found answers, but then it would be morning and everyone would be awake and bustling about, and her presence would be demanded everywhere, and there’d be meetings where Zackly and Pixis and Lady Azumabito would stare at her, asking for their next moves, and whether she’d figured out something or not, but she’d just sit there with a blank face because she was so damn exhausted that she slept and there wouldn’t be time to do anything at all then, because she jus—
Fingers pressed into the back of her shoulders, kneading her stiff muscles, cutting out her thoughts.
Her surprised exhale crumbled into a weary one. Levi’s hands gradually moved to her shoulder blades, thumbs digging into the sore, knotted parts of her back. Warmth rippled through her body at his touches, easing out a tension she wasn’t aware of until now.
‘This feels so fucking good,’ she mumbled heavily. ‘I didn’t even know I needed this.’
‘With that shitty posture, of course you needed this,’ he said, pushing her back and straightening her spine. ‘If you sit in that position for hours, it’ll definitely make your muscles go all tense.’
‘You’re starting to sound like Moblit,’ Hange chuckled. ‘Ever the worrywart.’
‘Someone has to look out for your clumsy ass.’
‘So you’ve decided to take full responsibility then, Captain?’ she grinned.
‘Never got the liberty of deciding in the first place,’ he droned out.
She laughed softly, somehow feeling lighter than she had in hours, days. His hands were still pressing upon her shoulders, lifting the invisible weight, induced by stress. She hummed softly and leaned back, so that she was pressing against Levi’s chest. His hands stilled, curling around the curves of her shoulders.
‘Oi . . .’ he said softly.
The back of her head came to rest against his neck. She inhaled deeply, a clean woody scent invaded her nose, making her eyes flutter shut and her breaths slow down. It felt good, having Levi so close, feeling his warmth all around.
‘Hange,’ he called her again.
‘Can we just . . . stay like this . . . for a while?’ she whispered.
Yeah, just for a while. Because she still had work to do, so she couldn’t give in to the heavy pull of sleep yet. She’d rest for a minute, with Levi right beside her. Then she’d start again.
‘Okay,’ he said quietly.
‘Just . . . don’t let me sleep. I still have . . .’ her words dissolved into exhausted breaths, ‘so much to do.’
‘Sure, don’t worry.’
So late in that night, when the golden hues of the candle flames splashed against wood and stone, and the barracks lay under the heavy spell of sleep, a tired Commander rested against her faithful Captain, knowing he would pull her out of the velvety folds of slumber and get her back to work soon.
But for now, she had a minute. A minute of rest.
#levihan#hange zoe#levi ackerman#my writing#shingeki no kyojin#snk fanfiction#snk fanart#levihan fanart#Hange's dealing with stress#so am i#i swear i feel just like her rn exams are taking a toll on me😭#levihan fanfiction
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Yarrow didn't really consider himself ready to be a father. Didn't even know how to hold a baby, you know?
But, he did what he could, and he did his best.
#Cuphead#Cuphead: Don't Deal With the Devil#Cuphead: DDWTD#CDDWTD#Cuphead oc#CDDWTD oc#cupsona#CDDWTD Val#CDDWTD Yarrow Yarn#fizzles draws#anon#anonymous#i know you probably meant like. cute baby photos that yarrow has hanging in his shop or wallet but#could not stop myself from drawing stressed dad yarrow#you KNOW val had the cutest clothes ever when she was growing up
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These kids are gonna give Ganondorf a heart attack
Transcript:
Hemisi: You can change your appearance? That’s amazing! Can you show me?
Link: Sure :)
Ganondorf, entering the room, distracted: Hemisi, have you seen my—
Ganondorf: !?
Link, disguised as Ganondorf with Sheikah magic: 😶
Ganondorf, with his back to the POV: 😳
Hemisi:….Hi Dad
#my art#imprisoning war#hero of power#hemisi#Ganondorf#Link thought it would be funny to turn into Ganondorf and then pretend to be grumpy about him and Hemisi hanging out#Good thing he didn’t get that far before Gan came in lol#they’re gonna give this man a heart attack before he can finish his evil plans#Gan is still wondering if raising teenagers and dealing with this new kid is more stressful than planning world domination#I don’t think anybody’s gonna get my sense of humor but it made ME laugh#Also please have more “Ganondorf with his hair down” propaganda
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yeah thats. what i thought. traumadumping i guess in the tags abt it.
#the only time i made Sure he couldnt touch me anymore was during a panic attack. and i didnt want him touching me but i did need comfort so#i sat on the floor with my best friend of several years and leaned on them for support#and he insisted on driving me home alone that night and then he started crying and insisted that i only ever let him touch me out of pity.#and then he said that if he didnt have a kid he would have been suicidal because of this#its. dealing with all this is part of why i havent been able to be on this account much. its been insanely stressful#because he lives with my best friend who i hang out with 3-4days a week usually. my best friend whose parent just died last month#and once i told them abt this they were like oh so thats a PATTERN of behavior bc hes apparently done this to multiple other people#notably people he's expressed that he's attracted to. and that being almost exclusively lesbians. this is a cis man btw#so. strained smile#txt
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wedding this weekend
#i am so tired lol i had that moment of like am i actually good at this i can't believe people pay me to do it etc etc & also#like i already knew this but dealing with the personal interaction side of the business is so stressful i hate talking to people and#worrying that i'm letting them down or coming off weird. anyway#my sister is a bridesmaid so i got to hang out and hold my nephew during the rehearsal so that was good :o) he is still so small ahhhhhh#d
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moodboard for this past week ❤️
#they should invent a grad school thats not fucking insane#i'm hanging in there but im the most unwell i've been in AWhile#this week was just horrible#there was already the freezer food incident but it also started off with a very severe pain episode thats putting me in constant woe#even mundane motion has been agonizing which is McAwesome bc we had a lab inspection which involved moving hundreds of pounds of equipment#during which we found a blackwidow and rats which we had to deal with and was a whole thing psychologically on top of the physical toll#the new class fiasco is still popping off and i had to respond to at this point over 400 emails in the fleeting moments outside of lab#AND A STUDENT TRIED TO FINANCIALLY BRIBE THEIR WAY INTO THE CLASS ? ?? ?? ?????#then the instructor wanted to use me as a guinea pig and i had to test new circuit boards but I wasnt given any time to do so properly#i had to test them plus get them operational and deal with my incoming students all in a frantic 10 minute window#im in charge of running our meetings too but the instructor was interrupting and having side conversations that made it really hard-#to train the other people on the new equipment in a smooth manner#which meant that a bunch of people had to keep me after to ask questions which made me late for my drs appointment#where i found out i cant get the new covid vaccine bc my heart and blood levels arnt stable enough#and joanns lost an expensive+critical fabric order of mine+i had to give a big presentation this week on my research that was stressful#and my inbox is still blowing up from being needed all over the place between teaching lab and classes and yall i am. so so tired.#im in so much pain and so stressed out#debating the ethics of turning into a pile of lint to escape my responsibilities and mortal frame
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If one more man in my workplace tries to ask me out i will set the whole place on fire, i don't care anymore. I can't keep doing this over and over. These fucking idiots want to get into the pants of a fucking NPC, the person they work with isn't REAL! THAT'S A MIRROR MADE TO BOUNCE BACK WHATEVER YOU THROW AT IT IN HOPE TO END THE INTERACTION SWIFTLY AND WITHOUT ANY ISSUE. THAT SIMULACRUM OF ME IS THERE TO MAKE MONEY AND THAT'S ALL! NO friendship! NO relationship! You DON'T get to know anything about me! you get a COWORKER! and that's IT!
#IM SICK OF THIS SHIT!!! NO FUCKER! I DONT WANNA HANG OUT OUTSIDE OF WORK I DONT LIKE YOU!!!!!!#the ONLY guy who did this to me who was okay was the one who confessed his feelings on his last day right before quitting#he did scribble my initial inside a heart and it was up in the department for weeks but at least he wasnt in my FACE about it!#now i gotta fucking go to work tomorrow and be fucking stressed out and scared because i have to deal with turning down a motherfucker#i JUST started liking my job again and this is what i get????? can i get a fucking BREAK!?#benny babble#i needed to put this somewhere because im very honestly at my wits end here. like i guess that's what i get for being nice at work#dudes will really look at someone they think is a woman smile at then and take it as interest. im being POLITE
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(face in hands) (again) men will simply feel the walls closing in around them
#my brother got covid from hanging out with his boyfriend. again.#and by the sounds of it they want to quarantine at our house.#ih his room which is. you know. directly adjacent to my room.#aaaaa and we have a trip coming up in two weeks and then my job starts in full and just#if he comes here i’m literally leaving to go stay at my partner’s instead#but it’s killing me because i’ll have to leave my pc and tablet behind and just#aaaaaaa i feel stressed i feel stressed#i’ve been in an exhausted fog for the past two weeks and it feels like i can’t get anything done#it’s like time has just been slipping by me and it makes me So So Upset#like what do you mean we’re more than halfway through august!!!!#and yet also: FUCK!!!!! I TOTTED THROUGH AUGUST!!!!!#i’m coming dangerously close to feeling the way i did during spring semester#when my brain is craving a release like crack cocaine but it’s not coming#every other day i’m dealing with work crap and hassling with irl things#and when i’m not doing that i’m rotting at my desk fatigued out of my mind#trying my best not to pass out until 9pm when it’s reasonable to do so#just staring at whatever video i can put on and blaring it loudly so i don’t fall asleep#aaaaa…………..i want out of this………. i’m on my break and yet i still want out aaaaaa……..
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whoever stole my account information in order to spend $127 on [checks notes] roku purchases, i hope you have incurable hangnails on every finger and toe for the rest of your shitty life.
#does that seem disproportionate?#i promise it's not#because my former manager decided that me being in australia dealing with my dad's death#and me attempting to contact said manager about a dozen times and getting no response#and then me opening multiple HR tickets and getting NO RESPONSE#equates to me ''abandoning my position''#so i currently have no income and only $43 to my name since someone decided my broke ass was a good candidate for theft#plus because of all the fraudulent charges i had to lock my account#which had the utterly ridiculous and undisclosed effect of not only blocking charges to my account but CREDITS#which means that when i decided to make a sensible mental health decision#and withdrew from the class i was taking this quarter so that i could give myself time to grieve#with the intention of enrolling in the same class next quarter instead#the tuition refund got blocked#and is now just like. hanging in no mans land.#so i can't enroll in the class for next quarter yet because i can't access the money i intended to use for it#and the classes only have space for 15 students#and it's going to take 7-10 days for the bank to issue my new card and for my account to be functional#so now i've got a new thing to be stressed about#when i was specifically trying to give myself a break from stress#so yeah i hope the person who stole from me has a shit day forever#hope they get little bits of egg shell in everything they eat#and that they can always faintly smell dog poop as if they stepped in it but can never find the source#cass says things
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Ugh. She literally. Is upset that I dont always like her. Like she hasn't. Given me. Two different kinds of trauma. Across many instances. And has not changed that behavior significantly.
Like. I told her not to drink. Because she gets even worse with boundaries when she drinks. And she responded with. Saying its weird that I dont like her. Like. I havent just. Told you. Why.
And I respond with saying. That its not like I dont like her. Its just that I dont want her to drink around me. Thats all.
She also has told me. To my face. That she hates me <3 so
#-cass#Ugh#I sent her to hang out with a friend today because I couldnt take it anymore#this would be the first time they've willingly hung out with a friend without me#since we've started dating well over a year ago#and its because they decided that today was the day to quit smoking#and have not left me a moment to myself today#after I told them last night. all of this.#implying that my boundaries are important.#I went to the other room to be alone and they followed me#and then I told them I wanted to be alone and they didnt leave??#I'm just so fucking stressed I need a moment to myself.#I probably sound a little insane rn... idk... if so feel free to call me out on it.#I just dont know how to deal.
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some doodles while i suffer from eepiness (“sorry i fell aeep”)
#splatoon#splatoon au#cbv splatoon#commander tartar#callie splatoon#i gave him a splatana for funsies#he definitely sucks at close combat and since electrocution isn’t allowed in turf battles he has improvised#orca splatoon#also callie didn’t know abt tartar until recent bc she started actually hanging out w the dudes#bc erm work is erm stressful and she wants a lil break :)#and bc they’re on good terms after making up and making a deal or smth#so she chill they chill the NSS is chill#anyway tartar is also FRIKKIN SOCIAL SQUIT#HE SUCKS AT SOCIALIZING mainly bc people can’t understand him when he be doin beepbioopchirpbuzzbeep#so uhh yeah#callie doesn’t understand that either so 😎😎😎🤭🤭#yes Seven would definitely lob bombs at people during a turf battle#if tart ever HAD to do a turf battle he’d either use a charger or any long range weapon so yeah byeeee#for those who didn’t see tartars android body reference his hands are made of a squishy material as well as some other parts of his body#yeah#O.R.C.A.
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Quivering and hooking my fingers into my mouth and biting down hard on them sobbing because the anime
#Listen to my problems#oh god the anime ...#i like calling myself a male fujo because fundanshi doesnt have the same rep and i want people to know what theyre dealing with#hang on i think i left tsukasa in the car#oh fuck my sweetie ..... !!!! he died of carbon monoxide :((((#i miss him so much ... hes like my muse but i cant use that word anymore after what happened with mars. once in a lifetime event#now i can only say 'i like himm :3' because i do. and hes my best friend#hes such a character hes literally all about momentum hes defined by it. Hes so intelligent and quick but when it comes to his life goals#and longterm direction you can kind of tell he wasnt banking on living long and it carries over. that kind of lifestyle and mindset that#held him together for more than a decade is difficult to shed. he hasnt had a chance to grow since the first time he realised his parents#wouldnt lift a finger to take care of him. it was all about survival and stitching blinkers into the sides of your head so you dont falter#dont think about how youre going to get through this just get through it. dont think about how youre going to be doing this for the rest of#your life just get it done. he clipped his own wings and chained himself to the rock he believed in so that when it was dropped in the ocean#he would fall with it without question this is a man who cut his own brake lines because stopping was not an option hes so coooool i cannot#stress enough how he was going to die a horrible death if the world hadnt ended and suddenly he was freed from all obligations. the second#he was awake though ? right back to it. suddenly its his job to recreate the world anew. pure. according to his ideals. nobody should have#to suffer as he did and he will protect them all... hes responsible for them all. it wont be the same as last time this time for sure theyll#get it right. Right? of course theres no room for doubt. that voice at the back of his head has to be crushed underfoot if he stops moving#then he'll fail and he cannot fail ... thats all there is to it he just cant fail. hes literally awesome ... my best friend tsukasaaaaa#and the other guy too i guess
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Sorry if I’m not online as much lately. I’ve had a hell of an October and we’re only 6 days into it
#personal#can I catch a fucking BREAK#ughfhdhhh#I just wanna come on here and hang out and draw my little pictures#but I have to deal with real life instead#I’m so stressed
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I know we all talk about daydreaming about our blorbos and our ocs, or plots that may or may not one day be written, but does anyone else daydream about just like living in a house?
I have a very nice home in my mind that I visit when I don’t feel like focusing on my main daydream plots or my various comfort scenes
#it’s not a mind palace#it’s just a place to hang out and relax in when I don’t want to deal with the stress of real life#and sometimes other characters are there and sometimes it’s just me chillin#maybe this is weird idk#radio static
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honestly still the biggest personal tragedy of session 5 is that when grian joined gem in the tower building. in gems episode, there were almost a solid 10 minutes of just that. them hanging out, calm, peaceful, no danger, away from people that could hurt them . and guess what ? grian left LESS THAN 3 MINUTES OF THAT IN HIS EPISODE dbjksffejw
#rant in tags#gems episode straight up got me to start drawing the most complicated fanart in a year or so just of that scene#and grian just. cut most of it out#(gem probably did too. but come on g. only 3??)#i think i know what im feeling. i called it in a yt comment on session 2 or so#im clinging to the last remains of peace and happiness we get#i watched every pov and i think this episode grian's is my favourite (even if he cut out most of my fav scene overall)#he almost died' rigged a charity' loved bdubs and built a tower. it was nice#he barely interacted with the reds (love them too but). he was just hanging out. the cleoðo&grian & i guess bdubs team is my fav#literally not a single spec of danger in that house. all positivity (thanks etho for starting the 'we love bdubs' day too bdw)#even martyns single trap got disarmed immediately#i was hoping for an grian & cleo team because of the potential for chaos but i think i love this more at least for now#ive been thinking too. the heart foundation honestly stresses me out so much#i love them with all my heart. i do#but i dont trust bigb at all. havent since episode one and wont start now. feels like that man has no loyalty to tango and skizz#hes very fun dont get me wrong but he makes me worried. i still have no idea what his deal is#theyre also very open. no fortification ( i like walls theyre safe)#and their system is very easy to rig (as shown in this episode)#(also bigb straight up saw grian throw his quartz in and said NOTHING)#“this is a death game! why do you not want death? what are you even here for?” SHUSH#this is all /positive. its good stress#(and i love death and betrayal martyn's win is my fav ending so far)#i just got too used to the peace and happiness at the beginning#i did not mean to rant this much but i have a lot of feelings about this series i dont have anywhere else to express#trafficblr#secret life
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Thinking about House We Share and being in a bathtub with Jake in order to keep myself together right now.
#thank you Glen for giving me more bathtub images#somedays staying sober is so fucking easy#other days not so much#days where I have to deal with a lot of stress#or days where the fact that I'm stuck here forever hangs over me especially heavy#hard to remember the point#however being in a bathtub with Jake#very soothing thought#he picks out special bubbles#gives a little massage#coleys rambling
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