#HUGE IF TRUE. I WANT A FUNKY LITTLE GUY IN MY HOUSE AGAIN

[badscientist]

me, getting an email from the property manager about new fee schedules:

schedule: cat fee

me:

me: no fucking way NO FUCKING WAY THEYRE GONNA LET US HAVE CATS HERE FINALLY?!

[radramblog]

Eldritch Moon my beloved

I think most Magic players are going to have a favourite set. Often that’s going to be one they started playing with, or one that really got them into the game, or one that had a limited or standard format they really enjoyed. A lot of people won’t, and that’s okay, they’re allowed, it’s hard to pick favourites sometimes.

But for me, it’s Eldritch Moon, aka the last time we went to Innistrad, and things got a bit more tentacular.

Eldritch Moon had a lot working against it from the get-go.

The Shadows block immediately followed the Battle for Zendikar block, one which a lot of people Didn’t Like. Whether it be for some of the more questionable art direction, for the relatively weak cards and boring parasitic mechanics, and for arguably some of the lamest story the game has had to date. More relevantly, though, it was a pair of sets where a fan-favourite plane was essentially dominated by squid monsters and lost a lot of its unique identity in the process- gone was the fun D&D-esque adventure world, replaced by stark wastelands and a war story with like one good story article. It’s the Tazri one.

And then the next set was Shadows over Innistrad. Another return to a fan-favourite plane, with a huge mystery being built up as to why everything was going to shit again. Why Avacyn and her angels were turning on humanity, why there are all these funky stones everywhere, what exactly Nahiri was doing fucking around on the plane of someone she apparently doesn’t like very much.

There were cryptic hints in the set itself. Its title is a reference to the Lovecraft story, Shadows over Innsmouth, with a fair few cards alluding to the story itself. A few cards did have subtle tentacles in the art, as well as subtle warping of flesh and world. The most damning clue came in the form of a puzzle regarding different flavour texts for the card Tamiyo’s Journal, which gave a particular phrase- “Remember this: they came as three”- flavour text from a Battle for Zendikar card referring to the three Eldrazi Titans, only two of which had been dealt with in that story.

Despite this, people still denied that this was the plot-to-be. There were still rumours that it was somehow Marit Lage again after all this time, or that the threat was a new one, or that it was somehow the Gitrog Monster’s fault. Personally, I wanted to believe this, and desperately didn’t want the next set to be Eldrazi-themed- I’d gotten pretty sick of them from BfZ and OGW and was very much enjoying all the new Werewolves and Madness cards and Delirium mechanic. This was at the point where I was drafting at FNM weekly, and the fun differential between the two blocks was stark.

But of course, the mystery was revealed. It was old god Emrakul the whoooole time! Quelle fucking surprise. And yet it ended up being significantly better than the previous block, for a number of reasons.

Firstly, the story is just kind of better. We get to see distinctly through the cards and the plot how the influence of Emrakul has affected the regular citizens of Innistrad, and how all its various factions- the Church, the vampire manors, the packs of werewolves, et cetera- were all twisted in her visage. We get to see the desperate fight against them, with all these gothic horrors warring against eldritch horrors, and against themselves. And we get both Jace doing some surreal journey-to-the-centre-of-the-mind shit while Liliana gets to be the hero and Tamiyo gives us an ending that raises more questions than it answers.

Also, Sorin gets stuck in a rock. Fuck that guy, Nahiri was always cooler, and fuck War of the Spark for apparently just having them make up off screen.

Secondly, the cards. Flavourwise, the three Eldrazi Titans’ corrupting influence manifests differently for each- Ulamog consumes and drains the world, Kozilek corrupts the mind and wreaks havoc on space, and Emrakul? As we see, Emrakul twists flesh into new and horrifying shapes, that the set’s cards display in loving and disgusting detail. While Ulamog and Kozilek’s drones were clearly a part of themselves, the Eldrazi of Innistrad all used to be something much more reasonable before Emrakul made it to the plane.

There are three types of Eldrazi in this set. Firstly- the transform mechanic from Innistrads previous has been played with to suit the needs of the flavour. With the exception of Ulrich, every single double-faced card represents a creature from the world, be it Human or Werewolf or otherwise, that is touched by Emrakul and makes a permanent transformation into something else. There’re masses of limbs, shapes echoing Emrakul herself, and flesh in configurations that Should Not Be. The shift on every card is stark, and in every case, you have to actively put in effort to push them over the edge- and off a cliff which they cannot come back from. This is especially true with the Meld mechanic, with the cards fusing into this giant monstrosity that literally dwarfs every other card on the table.

The next type of EMN-drazi is the Emerge creatures. The mechanic was extremely fun, almost all the cards were eminently playable in at least one format (mostly just limited), and the art is spooky. The flavour of some guy on your table getting fucking chestbursted and having fucking Elder Deep-Fiend pop out is incredible, and each is a great way of showing how the regular fauna of the plane (and flora, like, I think Lashweed Lurker is a plant or something) are mutating in response to the creature’s presence.

Finally, there’s the cards that make 3/2 Eldrazi Horror tokens. There’s less of these and they’re less intense, but by and large they’re a representation of the regular people being affected by the whole thing. Just about every card that makes one of these involves a creature dying in some way (Desperate Sentry, Otherworldly Outburst) or being spawned by an existing mass of flesh (Hanweir, Howling Chorus), and it gives this sense that everybody is affected by this effect.

Of course, that was also a thing in Battle for Zendikar block. The whole thing was Eldrazi, Eldrazi, Eldrazi, with even vanilla 4/3 worms having something to say about fighting them. They key difference of Eldritch Moon is that the flavour of the world is still preserved outside of this Eldrazi presence.

What I’m saying is- the gothic horror of Innistrad is still present despite the eldritch horror of the set’s antagonist. There’s still a corrupt and violent church (albeit with a few more tentacles now), there are still cults and Frankenstein zombies and vampires and werewolves. Innistrad’s tone is compatible enough with the Eldrazi’s that the combination enhances the two rather than diminishes them.

The final thing I want to say is just- the set’s really fun. It has a bunch of my favourite classic limited cards- Thermo-Alchemist, Ulvenwald Captive, and Boon of Emrakul- along with multi-format all-stars like Grim Flayer and Collective Brutality. It has big potential get-there moments with the Meld cards and some of the flip Eldrazi, and splashy interesting cards like Emrakul herself and Harmless Offering. The set drips with flavour that enhances the gameplay, with very little wasted space.

It’s a set I only really have two complaints about. Firstly- lol Ulrich isn’t good and wasn’t what basically any werewolf fan was after. And two- it suffers from an eternal issue that Magic only recently solved, in that it’s a Small Set with a pile of mechanics that it cannot possibly fully explore in its 200 or so cards. The biggest victim of this is Meld, as they could only fit 3 pairs in under the restraints of the set size. And that’s a real shame, considering that it’s a mechanic that we’re probably never seeing again, especially considering the recent Midnight Hunt. I really think there was a missed opportunity to not have a few leftover Eldrazi in that set- whatever happened to the Dronepack? Or the corrupted vampire houses? I suppose, though, that “I want more!” can be the best complaint a creator can get.

Eldritch Moon had big shoes to fill. However, in my eyes, it didn’t just fill those shoes. It filled them and kept filling them until its distended toes burst out the front and sides of the shoes and just kept growing, and bending in really weird ways, and I think I’ve lost the plot of this metaphor. It’s my favourite Magic set, and I don’t see that changing for a while.

[adrenaline-roulette]

I am flesh and I am bone

Pairing: Ahkmenrah x Read (female) Word count: 7.5k + Warnings: None for this chapter!

Chapter One: Do you walk in the valley of kings

- Hi everyone! I would like to welcome you all to my first Ahky fic! For those who know me, I normally write for Queen and BohRhap cast, now with added 6 Underground! However This idea came to me out of no where a few weeks ago. I’ve been sitting on it for a while now, and after posting to see if anyone would be interested in reading what I had, I decided that I may as well share it! There will either be 2 or 3 chapters, depending on how things go! Huge shout out to @polarcrystall​ @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhye​ @ryeosomnia​ @thenewnightguard​ @stfuchaase​ for letting me know that you wanted to read this! I hope it lives up to expectations! -

Exactly two weeks ago, you had brought home a permission slip for a class field trip your science and history teacher had organised, you had waved the form around in front of your mothers face, dancing around the kitchen as you begged her to sign it. 

“Please Mom, you have to let me go! It’s the Museum of Natural History! Uncle Larry is always talking about how amazing the museum is!” You plead, eyes shining up at your grinning mother. Although you were still so young, everyone knew exactly where your interests lay, you had a gift for knowing everything there was to know about historical events. At only six, you could recite the exact date and time the Titanic both set sail, and ultimately sunk, and at seven you could name every British monarch in consecutive order. Those were considered your hobby histories though, as your parents had once said. Your one true historical love was that of Ancient Egypt. Perhaps it was due to the stunningly rich colours that were used to decorate the Pharaoh’s sarcophagus’, or maybe it was the sheer amounts of sparkling gold, you were young after all, and just like a bird, you were often attracted to shiny objects. No matter the reason, for close to two years of your life, you had learnt everything your little mind could fill itself with in relation to Ancient Egypt. Every book your tiny hands found in the library on the subject, you would check out for the week, if one of the librarians were to look through your borrowing history, they would find nothing but history books that were typically checked out by college students, and not by under ten year old’s.

As your Mom read through the form, she smiled wearily, before turning to face the kitchen counter, smoothing the paper over the flat surface. “Okay Y/N, of course you can go. But remember sweetheart, there are other exhibits to look at, and not just Ahkmenrah’s tomb.”

You nod your head obediently, though her words go in one ear, then out the other. Your uncle Larry had been the nightguard at the Museum of Natural History for close to three years now, and whenever you saw him, he would tell you stories of how amazing it was to work with all of those historical figures. You always loved it when he told you stories of the young Pharaoh, of course to the rest of your family, these were just that, stories, though to you they all sounded real, and to Larry, they were.

<<ooo>>

The night before your field trip you were beyond excited, finding yourself barely able to sleep, far too thrilled with the knowledge of where you would be the very next morning. Every ten minutes you would leap out of bed, turn on your bedside lamp, and start reading through one of your history books again, this one all about life of Ancient Egyptian slaves. Each time you would switch your light on, one of your parents would walk past your room, spot the small stream of light beneath the closed door, then storm in, taking the book from you before turning the light out once more. This happened all of thirteen times, until your father had warned that if you didn’t go to sleep, he wouldn’t let you go to the Museum. Soon enough, you found yourself slowly drifting off, and your parents found themselves no longer needing to stop you from reading.

When you woke the next morning, you got yourself dressed in record speed, throwing on your freshly washed uniform. The navy blue polo shirt was free from stains once again, though your Mom knew that it wouldn’t stay that way for long, and your pleated gray skirt had been crisply ironed. All that was left were your black school shoes, though you knew better than to put those on in the house, so instead you opted for skidding around the wooden floors in your white socks. As you sat on the sofa, eating a bowl of cereal and watching morning cartoons, your Dad bumbled out into the kitchen, yawning and stretching loudly. “Good morning sweetie.” He smiled, looking at you from over the back of the sofa. “You’re up very early!”

You turn around to look at him as he set about making breakfast for himself and your Mom. “I thought if I got ready early then you could take me to school earlier!”

“I can’t do that Y/N, no one will be at school this early. You’ll have to wait.” He smiled, watching as you slumped down on the sofa, sighing dramatically. With a chuckle, he finished making breakfast, leaving you to watch cartoons and grumble.

<<ooo>>

“Alright class, this is Mister Wright, he will be showing us around the museum today. Can we all say Good morning Mister Wright?”  Your teacher, Miss Clarke called, gesturing to the tall, thin man who stood before your class of thirty. He wore wire framed classes, and a tweed jacket, from the eyes down he looked like your stereotypical scholar, however on top his head sat a flaming red mohawk, which added nearly an entire foot to his overall height.

“Good morning Mister Wright.” Chorused your class, smiling at the tall, funky looking man. He looked rather unsure of himself, it was likely that he wasn’t used to leading a tour group full of children. Gazing around the foyer where you stood you grinned to yourself, the spinning globe atop the main desk shone brightly in the large room, while the massive T-Rex skeleton served as a sneak peek for what you were all going to see further in the museum.

“Psst, Y/N, come on!” You friend Hailey giggled beside you, snapping you out of your trance. You just wanted to take as much in as possible, who knew when you would next be able to visit the museum? Quickly, the two of you ran to catch up with your class, who had moved on to taking a closer look at the T-Rex, Mister Wright going into detail about the life style, size, and speed of the dinosaur.

You listen intently the whole tour, finding your way to the front of your class, so to be as close to the exhibits as possible. Most of your class found the tour interesting, whilst some found it to be boring, how they found it boring you had no idea, you simply couldn’t fathom it! Here you were, standing amongst history! Nothing about this experience was boring in your opinion! “And here we conclude today’s tour, with Theodore, or Teddy Roosevelt, who served as our twenty-sixth president, and of course his horse Little Texas.”

Outrage flooded your senses, you knew who Teddy Roosevelt was, but that wasn’t what had you so worked up. “What do you mean this is the end?” You burst out, your hands balling into fists at your sides.

Mister Wright looks down at you in surprise, clearly not having expected any protests in today’s tour. “Miss Y/L/N! Where are your manners?” Miss Clarke admonishes, walking over to you with a stern look in her eyes.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to be rude!” You sniff, your lower lip trembling as you try to fight off tears. “It’s just, do we not get to look at the Ancient Egyptian exhibits?” You mumble, staring down at your feet, not daring to look your teacher or the tour guide in the eye. For two weeks, all you had wanted to do was look through the Egyptian exhibitions, and here you were, being told that the tour was over without ever stepping foot near them?!

Your teacher and the tour guide pass a look between each other, no words are spoken, though an unspoken conversation takes place none the less. “It’s alright Y/N, I understand.” Miss Clarke smiles, causing you to look up at her. “We have plenty of time to look around ourselves now. Everyone, please find a buddy, and always stay together. We will meet back here in two hours, at two o’clock!”

Not needing to be told twice, your class quickly begins to pair off, giggling schoolgirls racing off in different directions of the Museum. A group of five of you remains stood in front of the model President. Yourself, Hailey, Claire, Amber and Belinda, all looking between each other with broad grins. The five of you all got along like peas in a pod, often spending weekends at each other’s homes, playing dress ups out in the garden. So of course, when faced with the option of either trying to break off into small groups, or sticking all together, you chose the latter.

The five of you ran off back the way you came, taking turns through different corridors and into rooms which had been missed entirely on the tour. “Hey Y/N, does your uncle move these little guys around when he’s at work?” Amber grins, beckoning you over to where she was stood, looking into the miniature Roman Empire diorama.

“I don’t think he would do that… Why?” You shrug, peering over the edge of the diorama, your eyes falling on what Amber was clearly talking about. In the mini Colosseum, up on one of the balconies, there stood a tiny Roman soldier, hands reaching out and planted firmly against the back of a blonde cowboy, who was clearly from the Wild West diorama next door. The cowboy was stood precariously on the ledge of the window, and it was obvious to anyone who saw, that the Roman was attempting to push the intruder off the building. “Uncle Larry wouldn’t have done! He loves history as much as I do!” You blanch, eyeing the odd scene one final time.

Shaking your head, you move on further through the museum, leaving your friends behind as you grow nearer a section of the museum which seemed uncharacteristically quiet. Looking down the long corridor, it was dimly lit, and oddly sparse, and unlike every other area you had visited so far, this hall seemed to not see many visitors, or at least not at the moment. As you walked further into the hall, you failed to notice the yellow caution tape which had fallen down from across the archway, making your way down the corridor, the smell of wet paint assaulted your nose as you grew closer to the end of the corridor, a large gate pulled across the floor to ceiling entrance, with only a small crack of an opening. Unaware to you, your friends hadn’t realised where you had gone, figuring as it was nearing the end of your free roam time, they assumed you must’ve left to return to your teacher. The four of them packing up their things, and leaving the miniatures exhibit, and in the process leaving you behind too.

As you grew nearer the massive room, a gasp escaped your lips realising what you had discovered, hidden away at the back of the museum. Just behind the gate stood two, twenty-foot Anubis statues one on the left and the other the right side of the room. You had read about Anubis, the jackal deity of the afterlife, a shrine to Anubis was placed in the tombs of Pharaoh’s to keep guard over them as they passed into the next world. In all your reading though, coming face to face with these enormous statues, nothing could have prepared you for the sheer height of them.

  Crouching down, you crawl through the small gap in the gate, squeezing your tiny body through, until you were inside the tomb. Back at the other end of the corridor, a security guard takes note of the fallen caution tape, picking it up and reattaching it to the archway. The Tomb of Ahkmenrah was in the process of being renovated, and it wouldn’t do anyone any good to go down there at the moment. Of course you knew nothing about this, though even if you did, it likely wouldn’t have stopped you from entering either way.

<<ooo>>

Miss Clarke looked over the huddle of children before her, taking a head count to ensure all students were present and accounted for. As she moved her eyes from one end of the group to the other, a student who had been at the very front moved her way to the end. Normally this wouldn’t be an issue, however this little girl stood with her back to Miss Clarke, and from the back she was sporting the exact same back pack as yours, it of course didn’t help that the two of you also had the same hair colour. To Miss Clarke, she had thirty students just as she had started with, if she had recounted her students however, she would quickly notice she was missing one. Though with the knowledge that the coach was waiting for them out the front of the museum, she thought better than to count a second time, and ushered the students outside.

<<ooo>>

Gazing around the tomb, you easily lost track of time, had you been there for five minutes or five hours? You really had no idea, but seeing as no one had come to find you yet, you assumed there was still time left to look around. After taking in every detail of the Anubis statues, you moved further inside to look over the ornate lid of the sarcophagus which sat front and centre of the tomb. Delicate navy blue lines mixed in with deep burgundy’s, before making way for vibrant turquois, all intermingled with the rich gold that covered the entire coffin. Hieroglyphs were carved down the body, from what you had read, they were designed to allow the Pharaoh safe passage into the afterlife, prayers were also commonly inscribed too.

You found yourself hypnotised by the craftsmanship of the sarcophagus, and paid no attention to the sound of the gate being dragged back across the tomb, closing it off from the entrance entirely. Slowly, you moved away to look around more, you wanted to see as much as possible, and commit it all to memory, just on the off chance that you wouldn’t be able to come back again for a while. On the wall behind the Pharaoh was a shining slab of gold, the tablet of Ahkmenrah. Your uncle Larry had told you that the tablet was magic, though when you had asked him what it did, he shook his head with a smile, promising to show you one day.

Carefully, you moved around, being sure to not touch anything, ‘Look with your eyes Y/N’, you recall your Mom telling you when she took you to an art gallery once. So you did just that, drinking in everything with your eyes. A small yawn escaped your lips, and you suddenly realise that perhaps it was time to leave the exhibit, and join your class. Stepping carefully, you stop in front of the gate, you heart beating rapidly in your chest. Where there had been a child sized gap on your way in, the gate was somehow now closed, and try as you might, you could not get it to budge. You were trapped! “Help me!” You shriek as loudly as your lungs would allow. “Somebody please help me!” Your screams mix with tears as you cry, fright settling into your bones. You paused your cries for a few moments, waiting with a bated breath on the off chance you heard someone coming your way to rescue you. No such luck, you had no other choice but to continue calling out, praying that someone was still in the museum, or perhaps that Uncle Larry would be starting work soon, then he could rescue you!

Your voice grows hoarse and your throat hurts, and you find yourself unable to call out any longer. Slumping down to the ground, you curl your knees up to your chest and rest your forehead against them, wrapping your arms around yourself to bring some comfort back to the situation. Someone would notice you missing soon, if they hadn’t already. Your parents would be expecting to see you at home when they arrived back from work tonight, of course they would look for you, and they would find you soon too. With your head buried down, you didn’t see the bright light sweep across Ahkmenrah’s tablet, a bright white shine glossing across every line in the golden tablet. You did however, feel it, a breeze seemingly coming from nowhere rushing all around you, picking your hair up before dumping it back down over your back and shoulders. For a few seconds, it was as if everything in the museum was holding its breath, before sighing deeply, allowing all the stress that had been built up, to be let go of.

At first you think nothing of the strange sensation, making it out to be your imagination, though that all changes rapidly, when you hear what sounds to be concrete grinding against itself, before you feel the room tremble, a loud rumbling moving throughout the tomb.  Slowly you lift your head up, tears still streaming down your cheeks, your eyes red and puffy from your sobbing. Craning your neck, you look up and up, until you come face to face with one of the Anubis statues, though something had changed, whereas before both statues had been looking dead ahead, they now had their heads faced directly at you. You’re too scared to breathe, afraid of what may happen if you do, before you have the chance to take action, both statues take a step towards you lifting their spears. A blood curdling scream erupts from your lungs, as you leap to your feet, flinging yourself towards the back of the tomb, throwing yourself behind the sarcophagus, the ceiling was lower there you had noticed earlier, and you hoped it was low enough for the statues to not be able to reach you. You curl up into yourself once again, your back pressed against the golden coffin, your entire body trembling with both fear and sobs.

A similar sound as before echoes from behind you, though it sounds far smoother and more practiced, perhaps it was the statues again? You’re too scared to look, curling in further against yourself, trying in vain to make yourself invisible. Behind you, the lid of the sarcophagus slowly glides off, a figure sitting upright and looking around his tomb.

<<ooo>>

His guards were on edge, why was that? Had something occurred as he was waking up? Ahkemnrah slowly moved his arms out in front of him, his shoulder blades popping once, before the discomfort alleviated itself. Turning to his left, he looked at the two statues, calling out to them in his native tongue. “Put away your weapons, there is no danger here!”

  The two statues did as told, though they remained positioned directly before him, rather than returning to their rightful place at the entrance of his tomb. Ahk shook his head softly, brunette curls swaying slightly against his forehead, there was an oddsound emanating from his tomb, one he was rather unfamiliar with. With great care, he lifted himself out and onto the floor, his bare feet permanently calloused, even in reanimation. The smell of chemicals assaulted he newly regained senses, he could not wait until his wing of the museum had been restored, at least then the smell of fresh paint would no longer cling to everything in his tomb. Crystal blue eyes gaze around the tomb, as his ears listen out for the odd sound he had awoken to, it seemed to have ceased, at least for the time being, perhaps it was something to do with the work that the builders had been doing in the area lately? Ahk moves over to collect his peschent from its display pedestal, fitting it to his head once again, he may no longer be in Egypt but he was still Pharaoh here at the museum.

There it was again, that noise! Ahk pivots on his heel, looking back at his empty sarcophagus, he knew for a fact that there was nothing in there that could be making any sound, however, there was a small gap between it and the wall. Surely there was nothing there that could be making such a noise? Despite his unsureness, he makes his way around the end of the sarcophagus, gazing down the side against the wall. There, curled up in on herself was a small child, trembling and crying softly. His heart ached for the child, all alone and frightened, how had she gotten in here? Larry had told him there would be no visitors this way for a few weeks, with the entrance blocked off… He pushes his questions to the back of his mind, instead, he crouches down, smiling gently across at the girl, leaving a decent amount of distance between them, to avoid startling her further. “You are safe young one, no harm shall come to you now. What has happened?”

Your head flies up, turning to look directly at the man who had spoken, coming face to face with someone you had only ever seen artist impressions of in your books. Surely this was impossible, you couldn’t possibly be talking to Ahkmenrah? “I – I was here with school… The gate, I crawled through it to look around, but someone closed it! I can’t get out.”

Ahk nods softly, standing up slowly from his crouched position, extending his hand to you. He watches you carefully, a look of fear and adoration flickering across your eyes as you seem to contemplate whether you should take his hand or not. Gently, you reach up, your small hand clasping around his larger warm one. With ease, he pulls you to your feet, your clothes covered in dust from where you had been resting on the ground. “I am Ahkmenrah, Fourth King of the Fourth King, what is your name young one?”

Your words catch in your throat as you listen to the man before you introduce himself, he truly was the Pharaoh you had read about all of these years, the fourth Pharaoh of Egypt was holding your hand, waiting for your reply. Stuttering with nerves, you bow your head. “I’m Y/N Y/L/N, I’m ah…. I’m a student at Rose Hill elementary.”

“Ah, you are a scholar then Y/N?” Ahk asks softly, leading you out from your hiding place, and out into the main entrance of his tomb.

You shake your head wildly, the tears slowly drying from your cheeks, with no more threatening to spill either. “No, I mean not yet. I’m only seven.” Ahkmenrah stops suddenly, and you worry you had said something wrong, though you realise quickly that that is not the case. In a language you have never heard before, his voice echoes up to the Anubis statues, who continued to watch you intently. “Open the gate immediately, I must find Larry so he may return the young one to her family.”

The statues bow before their King, the ground shaking as they march over to the gate, arriving in only four paces, where it had taken you far longer. The metal gate shrieks in protest as the Anubis’ peel it away from its hinges, a loud snap echoing around the tomb and hall when the metal is yanked free from the wall. The statues take a step backwards, one holding the gate at its side, as if it would attempt to replace it on its hinges. Ahk moves forwards, his cape billowing behind him as he moves at a fast pace, his mind racing, trying to think of where Larry would be this early in his shift. What Ahk failed to realise, was that he was perhaps walking too quickly, his long legs carrying him down the corridor with ease, it wasn’t however, until he looked back to ensure that you were following, that he recognised the quick jog you had adopted in order to keep up. “My apologies Y/N, I did not mean to cause you to rush. Please, forgive me.”

You catch up quickly, though you’re glad to no longer be running, walking a much more pleasant mode of transport in your opinion. “It’s alright, I have little legs, it happens.” You shrug lightly, following once again as Ahkmenrah leads, this time at a slower meandering walk. You couldn’t help but find it unusual, surely a Pharaoh would never normally apologise to someone beneath him, even if you were a child. And dead or no, Ahkmenrah was still a Pharaoh…

As you reach the end of the long, paint filled corridor, you come across caution tape which had certainly not been there when you had entered earlier in the day. “I do not mean to pass judgment young one, but did you not notice this? It seems to be a rather vibrant colour, surely it would be difficult to miss.”

“It wasn’t there when I came down here! If it had been, then I wouldn’t have entered! I’m not stupid you know.” You may be young, but you weren’t dumb, you knew what caution tape meant, and you would never normally do something so reckless.

Ahk can’t help but grin, turning away from you before you can see his expression, for someone so young, you sure were quick with your words. He found it rather refreshing, to have someone speak so candidly with him, not caring that he was King. In his time, when he ruled, no one would dare accuse him of thinking they were stupid. Yet here was this child, a meagre girl of seven, who had no issue with calling him out. “Of course you are not stupid, I am glad you were unharmed in your expedition down here however.” Ahk offered in a gentle tone, moving through the museum.

Your eyes grow wide as you enter the miniature diorama room you had looked through with your friends earlier, people shouting could be heard from inside each diorama, along with a train puffing along its track. “They – They’re alive?” You gasp, head swimming with what you had always considered to be impossible.

Ahk looks back at you once again, his head tilted to the side gently, he was unused to people being surprised by the exhibits coming to life at dusk. Larry was of course aware of the late-night happenings of the Museum, as were his son Nick, and the docent Rebecca, who despite having finished her latest piece on Sacajawea often found her way back to the museum to spend her evening’s with Larry. You however had never experienced this before, and your shock was understandable. “Yes young one, from dusk till dawn with the magic of my Tablet, everything in this museum comes alive. Despite most being made of wax, they all behave just as they would if they were the real thing.”

Something that would likely to have had you killed for back in Ahkmenrah’s time, you interrupt his explanation, instead opting to race over to the ancient Roman diorama. “My friends and I were looking at this one today. Up on the Colosseum there was a Roman Soldier trying to push a cowboy off. My friend thought someone had set it up as a joke. But, they did that themselves?” You gasp out, looking over the diorama where the Roman soldiers were busy, seemingly forming an attack plan.

“Yes, I imagine that would have been Jedediah and Octavius. Mostly the two are able to put aside their differences and are close friends, however I believe there had been a misunderstanding between the two last night, it must not have been resolved before dawn rose.” Ahk explains, watching you carefully as you peer down into the diorama, your eyes shining like stars in amazement. He had not expected you to take to this as well as you were, from what Larry had told him, he had spent days attempting to wrap his head around the situation. Yet here you were, drinking it all in. “Come along Y/N, we must get you home. It is late, and I am positive your family will be frightened for your welfare.”

<<ooo>>

As you round yet another corner, you are stopped by none other than President Roosevelt and his steed. Ahkmenrah stands in front of you, obscuring you partially from him. “Good evening Ahk, I hope all is well? Who have we here, surely she isn’t a new exhibit?” Teddy grins, waving at you softly.

Ahkmenrah steps to the side, allowing you to be seen fully by the President now. “This is Y/L Y/L/N, she was separated from her school group today, and found her way into my tomb, we are on our way to get her home.”

“Miss Y/L/N, it is a pleasure to meet you I’m Theodore Roosevelt, though most call me Teddy. It is wonderful to make your acquaintance.” Teddy smiles down at you, his eyes twinkling with mirth. Little Texas whinnies , stamping one leg impatiently. “I had best continue on my patrol. Have a wonderful evening both of you, I hope we will see you again Miss Y/L/N.” He tips his hat, before riding off, the clop of horse shoes could be heard for quite some time after wards, the tiled floor doing nothing to muffle the sound.

After one final corridor, you find yourself back in the foyer of the museum, where your day had started. It felt so long ago now, but it really was only a few hours ago that you had arrived. The platform where the T-Rex had stood in the morning was now vacant, despite all you had seen during your walk with Ahkmenrah, you hadn’t expected even the dinosaur skeleton to come alive! You wondered where it could’ve run off to? “No, I haven’t seen her. I’m looking don’t worry, I promise if I see any sign of her I’ll call you immediately.”  A familiar voice says from the reception desk, his back is facing you, but you would recognise him anywhere.

Just as he hangs up the phone, your voice calls from across the foyer. “Uncle Larry!” You shout, sprinting away from the Pharaoh, and living him in the dust. Larry does a 180° on the spot, his eyes blown wide as he sees you racing toward him, followed closely by a surprised looking Ahk.

“Y/N? My God, everyone’s worried sick about you!” Larry exclaims, bending down to his knees and wrapping his arms around you tightly.

You throw your arms around his neck, grinning from ear to ear, releasing a sigh you hadn’t known you were holding. Despite how kind Ahkmenrah had been to you, along with all those you had met throughout the museum, there was a wave of relief that washed over you as you found someone you knew. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get lost, I’m sorry!” You whisper against his shoulder, feeling a shadow cast over the two of you now that Ahkmenrah had arrived.

Larry looks up, smiling at the Pharaoh. “How did you find her Ahk?”

“It seems as if the caution tape leading to my wing of the museum had fallen down.  Y/N found the gate to my tomb slightly opened and entered. I would dare say while she was in there, one of the end of day guards came around to ensure everything was in its rightful place, and in doing so they closed the gate to my tomb, locking her in there with me until I awoke.” Ahk looked down at you, your check resting against Larry’s shoulder, the crease between your eyebrows disappearing as you once again felt safe. “How do you know Y/N, Larry?”

Larry carefully stands, picking you up and placing you on the black leather desk chair, where you quickly make yourself comfortable. “She’s my niece.” He smiles fondly, to which Ahk nods. “Thank you for keeping her safe. I knew she’d find her way to your exhibit one way or another, she’s rather obsessed with Ancient Egypt.” Larry chuckles, lowering his voice so only Ahk could hear him.

“That would certainly explain all of the questions she asked me. Though she found questions to ask the others also.”

“Oh God, the others! She’ll need therapy after tonight! She’s too young to have to understand all of this!” Larry gasps, a coughing fit taking him over as he sucks in too much air.

Ahk places his hand on the night guards’ shoulder, comforting him until he can once again breathe properly. “I do not think that will be necessary. Y/N did not seem to be afraid at all, perhaps from the Anubis in my tomb there was some slight fear, but aside from that, she got along rather well with everyone, and they all seemed quite fond of her too.”

Larry lifts his eyebrows in surprise, turning to look back at you over his shoulder. You were sitting cross legged on the large chair, your hand gripping the desk in front of you, and using it to propel yourself around in circles. “Really? That’s – Well that’s rather surprising…. Are you sure, maybe she’s in shock? This is a lot to take in.”

“I do not know for sure Larry, though I do know that she promised at least twelve different people that she would be back soon.” Ahk smiles, watching as you spin yourself too fast, the chair finally coming to a stop as your face grows pale. Slowly you take your hand away from the desk, deciding to take a break from spinning.

“Thank you Ahk, I’ll talk to her after all of this is over, see if she’s as okay as she seems to be. Would you mind just keeping an eye on her for a little bit longer? I need to call her parents back, let them know that we’ve found her.” Ahk smiles as he makes his way back to you, lifting himself up onto the desk beside you, as you spin in your chair to face him, your entire face lighting up with joy as you look at him.

  As Larry calls your parents, reassuring them that you’re safe, you pick up your conversation with the Pharaoh once more. “Can I ask how old you are?” You grin, causing him the chuckle. He had grown fond of you over his short time with you, the inquisitive mind of a child had often intrigued him, and he found himself answering questions he would never usually.

“At the time of my passing, I was nineteen. Though if you count my age by the years I have experienced, then I am a few thousand years old.” He offers, allowing you to take your pick of which age you would rather associate him with.

You squint your eyes, counting on your fingers for a few moments, before beaming up at him. “So that means in twelve years, I’ll be the same age as you!”

Ahk can’t help but laugh, noticing Larry send you both a curious glance as he continues to speak with your family. “Technically you are correct. There will come a day where we are both nineteen.”

<<ooo>>

It didn’t take long before your Mom and Dad had arrived at the museum, Larry ushering you outside when he saw their car pull up out the front on the street. You waved goodbye to those who had gathered in the foyer to meet you, before turning to grin at Ahk. “Thank you Ahkmenrah.” It was plain and simple, but it was enough to cause the Pharaoh to grin widely at you. Larry followed you outside, opening the back door of the car for you, where you were instantly met with your parents gushing over how happy they were to see you, and that you were safe.

Moving away from the car as it drove off, Larry made his way back into the museum, locking the door behind him once again. Teddy rides up beside him, peering down at the exhausted expression on the night guards face. “Lawrence my friend, what’s that matter? Miss Y/L/N is on her way home now, surely that is good news?”

Larry nods his head yes, before it turns into a shake of no. “I think it’s going to be very hard to keep her away from here from now on.”

<<ooo>>

Just as Larry had predicted, it had been near impossible to keep you away from the Museum of Natural History. Since your first night there, all you could think about was returning, day in and day out you begged your parents to let you go back, though after the way your last trip there had gone, they were concerned about allowing you to return. This however didn’t stop you from pleading with them, coming up with every reason you could think of as to why you should be allowed to go back. Although you spoke about your time in the museum at night, you always said that it was just you, looking around at all of the exhibits, until you had found Uncle Larry. No one would believe you if you told them the truth about the museum, and you worried that if you did say something about what truly happened that night, that your parents would forbid you from returning there, and perhaps from speaking with Uncle Larry, he was after all, the one who always encouraged your love of history and fantastical stories at family gatherings.

After months of begging, pleading and bargaining your parents finally relented, allowing you to spend the weekend with Uncle Larry, under the pretext that you would be visiting the Museum during the day with Rebecca, and not while Larry was at work in the evenings. That of course, was not the case, not that your parent’s ever need know.

 It soon became tradition, that you would spend one weekend a month with Larry and Rebecca, sometimes with Nicky too, depending if it was Larry’s week on or off with him. And for two nights each month, you would spend dusk to dawn with the museum exhibits, learning as much as was humanly possible from them, swapping stories, though yours were never as interesting as theirs, at least in your opinion.

However there was always one exhibit you spent the most time with, you’re not sure when it had started, but at some stage during one of your weekends there, you had found yourself waiting patiently inside Ahkmenrah’s tomb, drumming your fingers against your thighs as you sat cross legged in the middle of the room, just waiting for dusk to fall, and for the tablet to work its magic. The thrill of magic filling the air and the breeze flowing around you, as the soft glow of light worked its tendrils into the fabric of every being in the museum, was incredible, and something you found utterly amazing.  From that day on, that was where you would always be found in the minutes before dusk, you would then spend plenty of time speaking with the Pharaoh, mostly about his life, as you learned what you could about Ancient Egypt. After a while, you moved on to others, never playing favourites with who you spent your time with, it was someone different each visit. When Larry and Teddy would come around, giving the call that there was one hour left until dawn, you would return to Ahkmenrah, and spend that final hour together, this time however, it was him asking the questions.

Ahk would never admit this aloud, but he found joy in waking up each night to you eagerly awaiting him, you grinning face being the first he saw on the days you were visiting. There was something comforting in having a familiar face to greet him when he woke, each morning he returned to nothing, there was no afterlife for him, at least not one he could recall. Each morning, as he fell asleep, there were no dreams to be had, no memories, there was nothing but an endless void for him to float through, desperately awaiting the night so he could awake. Each night felt like an eternity, though on the days where he knew he would wake to see you, the void seemed just that bit shorter. He found it difficult to track how many months had passed of your visits, each time he spoke with you he had an enjoyable time. You asked in depth questions, even sometimes things that surprised him! He often forgot how young you were when you spoke, the amount of thought you put into each and every question, not just posed to him, but to others as well, they were all well researched, and it was clear for anyone to see, that you cared about what you were doing. Which made you seem far older than you were. Ahk also took pleasure in asking about your life, hearing about your time at school, your family, hobbies, and the fun things your friend got up to, he loved hearing it all! Knowing that you were living a full life, while doing what you loved made him exceptionally happy.

He had no need to keep track of time as the living do, though he noticed the passage of time in other ways, in watching Nicky and you grow up before his very eyes, and in watching Larry and Rebecca’s relationship change. It was obvious that time was getting away from him, as it almost felt as if when Larry had announced his engagement to Rebecca that only a week had passed before he was showing everyone photographs from the wedding. Ahk knew that you only visited two days per month, though with no other guests coming into the museum on the nights between, they all began to bleed together, into one long night. Which is why it came as such a shock when he awoke one night, to find yourself, Larry, Rebecca, Nicky, Teddy Sacajawea, Octavius, Jed, and a few Huns all gathered in his tomb.

“Sorry for the intrusion my boy, but Y/N suggested we do this here so that you would be involved. And also so we could keep it away from Rexy.��� Teddy grinned, as Ahk climbed out of the Sarcophagus, padding over to the small congregation, the two Anubis statues keeping a close eye on everyone, ready to pounce if they felt there was any threat to their king.

“Happy birthday Y/N!” Your family called, the three of them wrapping you tightly in a hug. “Double digits, that’s exciting!”

Ahk frowned for a moment, taking in the scene before him, had he known it was your birthday? He could not recall you ever telling him when it was, and he was positive he would remember such important information. He watched as Nicky darted off to the side of the room, collecting a white box and carrying it over to you. Lifting the lid, his eyes darted between the cake and the grin on your lips. He was having a difficult time wrapping his head around what had been said, double digits Larry had said. That would mean you were ten years old today? Surely it had not been three years since he had met you. He felt as if he had found you locked in this very room only a few months ago, and not years. Though looking at you now, it was clear as day that you were older, there was no use trying to deny it. As napkins filled with cake were passed around, you walked over to him, a grin still pasted across your lips. “Happy birthday young one.” He smiled, causing you to laugh softly. He was unsure of how much longer he would be able to call you that, if things were still as they had been when he was alive, there came a point where one no longer liked to be referred to as young. Though you would always be young compared to him, he understood that to others, you were aging correctly, and that he himself was the anomaly here.

“Thank you Ahkmenrah, sorry for bringing everyone in here. Despite what teddy says, it wasn’t actually my idea.” Ahk cuts you off with a quirk of his eyebrow. “He asked where I was headed when he awoke, and I said that I was coming here. He took that as an invitation for everyone to join.”

Ahk can’t help but laugh, his eyes sparkling as they lock with yours. “You, and the others are always more than welcome in here Y/N. And please, you may call me Ahk, we have known each other long enough now for you to use my, how do you call it, nickname”

You nod your head yes, taking a bite of your slice of cake, savouring the flavour as the icing melted on your tongue. “Alright, Ahk it is then.”

So there we have it, chapter one of two or three! Fingers crossed you all liked this, I would love to hear what you think! And if you would like to be tagged in the future chapter(s) let me know! Also, the title of the story, and all chapters are from the song Glitter and Gold by Barns Courtney, I would recommend checking it out here!

And on the off chance you’re at all interested in my other writings, here is my MASTERLIST

[mister-lady]

geez, i love your writing so much. water totally does have a taste tho. otherwise when you went to other places besides your house you wouldn't think that the water tasted weird there!!! which i'm now realizing might just be a me thing lol. anyway! if it's okay to send another prompt (i don't wanna overwork you!) then howa bout 9 with Remus cuz you said you didn't like him at first and the prompt says "forced to spend time together"!!!

*sobs* th-thANK yoUu!!!! And exactly!!!! Water has a taste!!!!! Janus doesn't agree tho smh. I definelty get that tho! One of my friends house that I go to I cant have their water cause it tastes funky to me dkkvkskg.

AAA ILLYYYY🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘❤💘❤❤❤💘❤💘❤💘❤❤❤🌟❤❤❤❤❤❤💘💘💘💘🌟🌟🌟🌟you're not overworking me at all!!!!!!!! I'm absolutely loving all of these thank you sososoo muchhh🥺🥺🥺🥺👉👈👉👈👉👈👉👈👉😭👈👈😭😭😭🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺💘❤💕❤💕❤💕❤❤💕 this was super fun to do!!! Especially becuase I normally don't talk much about my enemies to lovers thing with Remus so it was kinda nice to almost project it onto here!!!🥰🥰🥰 Also sorry I got a little carried away while writing and it got a little off-topic from the prompt-

Prompt: A moves into a new apartment and wants to check out the closest dog park. Their dog loves it there, especially that one dog that seems to be there almost every time they go. With their dogs being madly in love with each other, A and the other owner, B, are forced to spend more time together as well

Warnings: strong curse words used a minor amount. Very small angst.

----------------------------

Matt had moved into an apartment, hoping to build up some money for a home. He was living the life though, being able to do things when he wanted, without people complaining at him. However, Matt had gotten a little lonely so he did the best solution! He got a pet. Now, Matt normally wasn't a fan of dogs, mainly ones that barked a lot, but when he had been searching through the animal shelter and found a very peaceful dog. It was maybe around 1 year old and it was a small poneramium. Normally small dogs barked a lot but this one was fairly quiet and Matt liked it for that. He named his dog Siskel. Since an apparment was a small place Matt had searched up local dog parks he could take his dog to and let it play for a bit and get some exercise. Matt was unbelievably happy when his dog had found another dog friend! He thought they were adorable together and seemed to get along so well too! What he hated was the rat-bastard that owned the dog. You know how theres the couple in movies that want be together but the parents hate eachother? It was essentially that for Matt, but it was one-sided. The other person seemed to find Matt amusing, even though Matt had often showed that he didn't care much for him. Sometimes Matt would feel bad for the way he treated the person, he never gave him a true chance. But then the person would say something that made Matt stop feeling as guilty. The downfall for Matt was that he had scheduled days that he could go to the park where he had free time so it's not like he could ignore the other guy either. Plus, he would feel bad for depriving his puppy of it's friend just because Matt had been salty.

Matt had currently been sitting on a bench at the dog park and was keeping a close eye on Siskel. He made sure to keep his dog on a leash incase it did go to do soemthing bad, he could pull it back, plus, he didn't have to worry about Siskel running off either. Matt could tell just by the way his dog acted, that it was impatiently waiting for it's friend to arrive. Matt was trying to take it's mind off of waiting for it's friend and was throwing a pinecone for his dog. He would use a toy but if another dog came up who knew wheres its mouth had been? Siskel knew not to fully bite on the pinecone, but it would still bark at it and pretend to play with it. Matt couldn't help but smile as he watched. Though, poor Matthew's smile didn't last for long as he felt the same ol' guy sit next to him. Matt knew a little information about him, like his name and such, but only because he had told him like Matt had asked.

"Hey, Maaattttt!!" He chimed.

"Hi, Remus" Matt huffed.

Matt watched as the dogs quickly ran up to eachother and played with a pinecone together. It was very wholesome. However Matt casted a confused glance towards Remus, not understanding why he was so silent.

"You're quiet." Matt commented, while raising an eyebrow.

"I am?" Remus asked, as if he wasn't aware of what Matt was talking about.

"Yeah, normally you're rambling on about something that happened to you, or about how you poisoned your enemies cake or soemthing." Matt soon regretted speaking up, as he watched a very amused smile grow across Remus's face.

Remus gave Matt a very tight hug, causing Matt to squeak from alarm. Matt couldn't help but notice now warm Remus had felt and he could feel the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.

"Wh-.. what?" Matt questioned.

"You do listen!!! I was always afraid you never listened to my stories!" Remus seemed to be bursting with excitement.

"Well, I mean I kinda have too, you tail me around against my will." Matt flatly pointed out.

"Pssshh, yeah cuase you don't like me. Totally"

"I hate you. And why are you still hugging me??"

Remus withdrew and let go of the hug. Matt could've sworn he thought Remus looked a little upset for a moment, but if he did it was quickly replaced by happiness.

"You knowwww... it took you a little while for you to tell me to stop hugging youuu" Remus teased.

"You're honestly the biggest idiot I know and it hurts to be around you."

"You can insult me all you want but it's not going to change the fact that you like my hugs!"

"You're a lunatic and burn down places. The last thing I want is your hugs."

"Is that why you let me hug you?"

"I didn't let you hug me! If I did I would've hugged back. But I didn't."

"You let me hug you and you listen to what I say? Mmmmm... I'm pretty sure you like me."

"I don't like you, I'm just that lonely."

"Most people that don't like me get a restraining order, so you must like me to some extent, right?" Remus gave Matt a puppy-eyed look.

Matt groaned in annoyance. "I just might if I have to sit here any longer."

"That's not a no~"

"And it's definitely not a yes."

"Well, it's not a no, so I'll take what I can get."

"You're a dunce."

"I still don't see why you hang out with me so much then."

"Hang?? Out?? I-? Me??- with yOu??-" Matt stumbled over his words in aghast. "Okay, I certainly don't, and would never, hang out with you, Remus. You come up to me. I deal with it because for some stupid reason my dog likes your dog, and I do what's good for my dog because I have a little bit of common sense."

Remus pouted at Matt's little tangent and crossed his arms. "Fine. I won't talk with you then. Maybe then you'll like me more."

Matt shook his head, "Why do you care so much for whether I like you or not?"

Remus only glared at him and didn't respond. Matt decided to take the opportunity of peace and quiet, however, as time started to pass, he felt like something was bugging him. Like he was itching to do soemthing and he didn't know what. Like something was...off. He gave Remus a curious glance, wondering if he had done something, but by the looks of it he was behaving like a decent human being. If that was the case, then what was bugging Matt?? He had gotten what he wished for, had he not? He subconsciously gave Remus an almost longing kind of look, and Remus met his gaze for a split second, only to look away. Matt couldn't help but fear a pang of hurt in his heart, only to be quickly filled with frustration at himself. Remus complete was the opposite of a normal, decent, and civilized person. All he did was annoy Matt, so why did Matt feel bad? He quickly answered his own question. Remus hadn't done anything bad directly towards Matt, and Matt had acted like a huge douche towards him for no reason. Matt felt his eyes water up a bit at the realization and quickly blinked it away. He felt terrible for the way he had acted.

"I'm sorry." Matt spoke, his voice cracking a little bit causing him to inwardly cringe.

Remus looked at him, but gave him a questioning look as if asking him to go on.

"I'm sorry for being a massive and terrible douche towards you. You hadn't done anything wrong, if anything, out of all the things you've told me about I should be lucky that you didn't do anything to me and I'm really, really, sorry and I know that doesn't really change anything but I completely understand if you don't forgive me, and honestly with the way I've treated you I probably don't deserve your forgiveness." Matt had gotten repeatedly choked up as he spoke and had to keep clearing his throat or blinking away the water in his eyes in a sad attempt to hide what he was feeling.

Remus eyes had widened in surprise. That was by far not what he had expected at all. He didn't expect too much of an appology especially from Matt, so the heart felt appology took him a few seconds to process.

"..Matt?" Remus spoke.

"Yea?"

"Can I hug you?"

Matt quickly nodded his head and felt his face twist as he felt a few tears go down his face agaisnt his will. He didn't realize all the weird feelings he had subconsciously bottled up, but as Remus tackled him into a hug, almost knocking him off the bench they had been sitting on, Matt couldn't help but sniffle a little bit. He felt the warmth from Remus engulf him again, and his mind drifted to how nice Remus's arms and hands had felt to be wrapped around him. Matt tried to calm down his sudden emotions and breathed a little more slowly, and slowly slithered his arms up and around Remus's back and rested his head on his shoulder.

"We never speak of this to anyone." Matt mumbled.

Remus giggled and nodded his head in agreement, causing Matt to laugh a little bit himself.

"I knew you always liked me a little bit." Remus teased.

[riskeith]

through my lens, the image of you (1,975)

After his last day on set, professional photographer Lance receives a present from the subject of his photos, Keith. When he opens the gift, he finds out that he has been on the other side of the lens, for the model.

PAIRING: Keith/Lance

RATING: teen and up audiences

TAGS: alternate universe, photographer lance, model keith, except he takes photos too in his spare time, fluff, getting together, confessions

read on AO3 or under the cut

Lance has just stepped foot inside his house, and he’s exhausted. He wants nothing more than to collapse and sleep for sixteen hours straight, except he promised a certain someone he’d open his present the moment got home.

He makes his way to his kitchen counter and takes out the package, after wrestling himself into a chair. The gift is neatly wrapped, he tests the weight, then inspects it from all sides. It’s not heavy, nor intricate. It’s simply rectangular. When he peels away the first layer of wrapping, he recognises what it is immediately. It’s arguably one of the things he’s most familiar with, after all—a photo album.

When Lance was assigned to the collaboration between Voltron and the Marmora, he was beyond excited. It was a huge deal; the two companies were considered the best in their respective fields, so having them work together meant a lot. Lance didn’t know every detail, but there was a rumour circulating that they were doing a merger, and would become a larger organisation called ‘The Coalition’.

More information was revealed later. The shoot would take place over several weeks, and on various sets. Photographers would be working with a single model the entire time, but they’ll get together for group photos at the end. There weren’t many restrictions or themes, just show off the location, and the model as well. Lance didn’t love the fact he was given such freedom of choice, but figured he could work it out with the model, who he soon found out would be Keith.

Keith was the youngest model signed with the Marmora. He and Lance were around the same age, both thought to be ‘prodigies’, the ones who would lead their companies into a golden age. He was, of course, very attractive as well. Lance looked forward to meeting him, and to finding out what kind of a person he was.

The first location was a beach. It was beautiful—brilliant blue ocean, golden sand, picturesque plants. Lance didn’t have any time to admire it though, because he was running late. He sprinted down the gravel path towards the equipment that had already been set up. He cursed, picking up the pace, thankful his camera wasn’t on him.

When he finally arrived, he approached the person closest to him. They were behind a camera, so Lance couldn’t recognise who it was, but that didn’t matter.

“Hey, do you know where I’m supposed to go?”

“No. I don’t know you.”

This shocked Lance. It wasn’t that he was conceited, but everyone knew him. He felt like he was being demeaned.

“Who do you think you are?”

The camera was lowered, and Lance blanched. It was Keith. Keith, who had his hair tied in a low ponytail, wearing a black cap and a red shirt with white palm trees on it. Lance’s face burned, but it wasn’t from the sun, nor embarrassment. Although, he did want to launch himself into the ocean because of that.

“Uh…” Lance was at a loss for words. He had no clue how to apologise. “I didn’t know you took photos.” Lance mentally facepalmed himself. What was he doing?

“Yeah,” Keith eyed him up and down, “I picked it up in my early days. It’s nothing professional though, just a hobby.”

“Ah. Well, sorry about that; you were, uh,” Lance gestured vaguely, hoping it got his message across. He then held his hand out, “I’m Lance.”

Keith looked at it, then up at Lance. There was a pause, during which Lance panicked, thinking he wouldn’t take it, but he did. “I’m Keith,” he replied, giving a firm shake.

Thankfully, Keith didn’t seem to hold any grudges following that disastrous first meeting. He did get his revenge though. For one of their other shoots, they went to a mountain. Every other team stayed at the base, which provided plenty of scenery, but Keith decided he wanted to climb it, and take photos at the peak. It was a smart idea of course, and the view was breathtaking, but Lance suspects Keith just wanted to see him suffer. Lance isn’t unfit, however hiking with all the required equipment was difficult.

The two of them actually get along very well. People were under the impression they didn’t, because they got each other riled up all the time and were always bantering, but really, it was all in good nature.

The ongoing thing was about Keith’s pictures. Lance would always ask to see them, to the point of pestering, because you could tell a lot about a person from the kinds of photos they took, and Lance was very curious about Keith, but the guy never relented. And then, as if to taunt Lance, he’d bring his own camera along to shoots and take pictures while they were there.

Lance was near devastated when the project ended, because it was the most fun he had on a job in ages, and, he’d started falling for the model. It was bound to happen, Lance supposed. Keith was a good-looking guy, and despite the occasional rash behaviour, he only had everyone’s best interests at heart. The two already exchanged numbers, but Lance didn’t know when they’d see each other next. Just before they bid farewell to each other, Lance jokingly asked if he could finally see Keith’s photos now. Keith simply smiled, and handed Lance a present in lieu of a response. Lance didn’t think much of it, and started to accept the fact he’d never see the pictures, but now…

He holds it all in his hands. After opening the photo album, Lance finds a note, written on the inside front cover. It reads:

‘thought it’d be weird to gift you photos of my own stuff, but you were always asking to see, so here.

– k.’

Keith’s handwriting, to Lance’s delight, is scrawly. He does find it endearing to look at—it’s very him, but it’s also comforting to know that not everything about him is beautiful. His photos, though… They’re amazing. He said he wasn’t a professional, but he could definitely go pro if he wanted.

Lance doesn’t need to flip past the first page to know that Keith’s a landscape photographer. Every single shot is scenic—of mountainscapes, of forests, of lakes and oceans. Most are in colour, but a few are black and white. A cityscape is featured occasionally—of different cities’ skylines, of high-rise buildings during the night with lights as bright as stars.

There’s a note next to each image, detailing when it was taken, and where. Most of the locations, Lance discovers, are places Keith has visited for shoots. He wonders if he’ll see ones from theirs. Under that, Keith left little messages, describing the places and his experiences there.

‘olkari; look at those trees, they winded in all sorts of shapes. the people made wood carvings, there may be one of me there.’

‘altea; home to the beautiful juniberry flowers. I thought this grass field covered in pink with the mountains in the background really summed the scenery up.’

‘naxzela; cool as architecture, super funky buildings. it was a ghost town though, eerily quiet. I was more than happy to get out of there.’

‘kosmo; obviously not a place, just a very cute wild wolf I came across. wish I could’ve taken him home with me.’

One photo, when Lance reaches it, takes his breath away. He stops and stares at it, longer than any of the others, and recognises every single detail. It’s his home. If he strains his ears, he can hear it in the distance.

‘veradera beach; gorgeous place. I’m not someone who loves being in the heat, but I wanted to stay out there forever. the water reminded me of the colour of your eyes.’

The last statement brings a blush to Lance’s cheeks, and butterflies to his stomach. He thinks that’s the worst of it, but then he turns the page. 

“What do you take photos of?” Lance asked once, early on. It was one of the only times Keith actually answered.

“Well, not people, that’s for sure,” Keith had replied, with a glint in his eye.

The statement wasn’t true anymore. Because following the photo of beautiful ocean blues, the pages were filled with images of Lance. Most are candid shots—Lance looking off into the distance, or directing someone, or messily eating his lunch. He’s surprised, honestly. For someone who’s around cameras all the time, he sure sucks at noticing when one’s on him. There are a few Lance recalls posing for, thinking it was joke. He can barely process it all right now. The notes, he can handle even less.

‘first meeting; I’m a bit irked the picture is blurry, but I think it represents what happened really well. your first impression was memorable, to say the least.’

‘after our eating contest; at first I wasn’t sure what to think about you. you came off as cocky, but I realised that you had a right to be—you’re good at your art. there was, of course, this side to you as well. I definitely won the competition, by the way.’

‘ethereal; I was just supposed to call you to come back, but I was awestruck. I knew you were hot, but the way you looked standing at the top of the hill, with the breeze gently blowing your hair… that was something else. and in that moment, you were the model.’

‘striking a pose; I already liked you by this point. you were funny, and witty, and I really liked spending time with you. that day I laughed harder than I have my whole life, I swear.’

Lance rereads the message over and over again, to make sure he’s seeing it right. Keith likes him. His feelings are mutual. He starts to look for his phone to contact him, but then he notices something.

The very last photo is missing. Lance does a quick flick through to make sure it hasn’t fallen out, and checks that it isn’t behind another. He starts to panic when nothing turns up, he doesn’t want to have lost something, but then something written next to the empty space catches his attention.

‘score!; I asked you out, and you said yes. this is the first photo of us as boyfriends.’

Lance nearly trips over his feet getting to where his phone is, but he manages to call Keith.

“Hello?” Keith’s voice sounds raspy, and shit, Lance didn’t think about time zones. He’s sorry, but also, Keith sounds really good. His heartbeat increases.

“Hey, it’s Lance.”

“Oh, hey,” Lance hears the smirk in Keith’s voice, “I take that is a ‘yes’ then?”

“You haven’t actually asked me yet, you know.” Lance’s voice trembles slightly, and he’s stalling. He doesn’t know why.

Keith hums, and Lance feels it rumble through the phone to his ear. “I suppose you’re right.” There’s a beat, and then, “Will you go out with me?”

“Yes,” Lance replies, exactly as the note says. It doesn’t say he grins, but he’s beaming.

“Alright. Where are you? I’ll come over.”

“What? You’re—What? I’m in another country right now!”

“And? We have to take that photo, don’t we?”

If there’s one thing Lance has learnt about Keith, it’s that he’s adamant. There’s no changing his mind, not that Lance wants to. “I guess so,” he says, biting back another smile.

They hang up shortly after; Keith goes to catch the next plane out, and Lance impatiently waits for him. He wonders if Keith is bringing his own camera, but gets his out anyways. He also starts thinking about how to one-up this. Curse Keith, and his ingenuity. Lance will get him. In the meantime, there’s a photo album to be completed, and a whole new adventure to be started.

[sims-psycho]

I’m pretty sure I already asked you the hella cute questions for Billie 🤔 So odds for Luna and evens for Kit! 💕

ok, so, this took me so. fucking. long. but I love you for it cuz I’m shit at char development so thANK YOU FOR ASKING ANGEL!!! ♡ ♡  

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? ~ Kane of course

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? ~ I know this probably isn’t what you mean, but I have a meeting with the drama teacher at college today to see if I can help with the costume design for the musical and I’m pretty excited *smiles*

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? ~ I know he would because he may or may not have had to in the past *blushes*

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? ~ Yes, me and Kane are really good

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? ~ Depends on who it’s with

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? ~ ‘Yeah sure, do you need anything else?’ to my mum, she wants me to grab some stuff from the shop on my way home

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? ~ My hair gets really tangled so not really

15. What good thing happened this summer? ~ summers not over yet! *giggles*

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? ~ Absolutely, even if it’s just a shred of bacteria, the universe is to extensive for use to the be the only ones

19. Do you like bubble baths? ~ Ooo, yes, a lot *laughs*

21. What are you bad habits? ~ I’m a bit of a workaholic, so I guess that’s sort of a bad habit

23. Do you have trust issues? ~ I don’t think so, thankfully

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? ~ My nose is really wide and, yeah i know it’s silly but everyone has their insecurities i guess

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? ~ Not at all, I love my skin tone and my heritage

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? ~ I’ve only really been with Kane

31. If your hair long enough for a ponytail? ~ I guess, but it’s not really ‘long’ more just big

33. Spell your name with your chin. ~ ,ljna *giggles* I tried

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? ~ As much as I love a good Netflix binge I’d have to say TV, music is just so good in so many different situations

37. What do you say during awkward silences? ~ Depends on the situation, but I normally try and say something positive, if not that I just stay quiet

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? ~ I only really buy second hand clothes, or I make them so I don’t really know

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? ~ Yes, the core of someone never changes, but how they view the world does

43. Do you smile at strangers? ~ Sometimes *smiles*

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? ~ I guess I just always have stuff to do

47. Have you ever been high? ~ Maybe….*looks sus*

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? ~ Yes *looks uncomfortable*

51. Ever wished you were someone else? ~ When I was a young teen, but I don’t think that’s that unusual

53. Favourite makeup brand? ~ Milk makeup

55. Favourite blog? ~ n/a

57. Favourite food? ~ Any kind of caribbean food my mum makes

59. First thing you ate this morning? ~ Crumpets *cute smile*

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? ~ Omg never, that would be the end of my life right now

63. Ever been in love? ~ I am right now *blushes*

65. Are you hungry right now? ~ Not really

67. Facebook or Twitter? ~ Facebook

69. Are you watching tv right now? ~ How did you know!? *looks shocked* I’m halfway through sex education and it’s hilarious *giggles*

71. Craving something? What? ~ I could always eat dark chocolate, it’s my favourite

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? ~ Yeah…..my little bunny *blushes*

75. Favourite animal? ~ I like deers,  just think they’re really elegant

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? ~ Vanilla

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? ~ It’s like a pinky red sort of colour

81. Favourite tv show? ~ I really love Killing Eve

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? ~ Who even likes mean girls 2!? *scoffs and laughs*

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? ~ Gretchen *giggles*

87. First person you talked to today? ~ My mum

89. Name a person you hate? ~ I don’t think I really hate anyone

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? ~ No!!

93. How many sweatpants do you have? ~ Only a couple pairs, and I only wear them in the house

95. Last movie you watched? ~ Me and the gang watched birdbox last weekend, it was really creepy

97. Favourite actor? ~ I don’t think I have one

99. Have any pets? ~ We have a cat called Beanie, technically she’s my mums cat but she’s also kinda the family cat *smiles*

101. Do you type fast? ~ Oh yeah, it’s like fire comes off my fingers *laughs*

103. Can you spell well? ~ Uhh, yeah *smirks*

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? ~ I’ve been to a bbq party with family, but I don’t think thats the same *giggles*

107. Have you ever been on a horse? ~ Yeah, me and my sisters used to go to a horse riding club when we were little *smiles*

109. Is something irritating you right now? ~ Nope

111. Do you have trust issues? ~ No, I don’t have any reason to distrust anyone I know

113. What was your childhood nickname? ~ Little moon, or sometimes just lune

115. Do you play the Wii? ~ Me and my sisters used to play the super mario wii all the time when we were kids *smiles*

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? ~ Yeah, it’s alright

119. Favourite book? ~ The Art of Faminisim

121. Are you mean? ~ I….I don’t think so

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? ~ Can anyone? *laughs*

125. Do you believe in true love? ~ Yeah, I think I do

127. What makes you happy? ~ Luckily, a lot. Off the top of my head, my family and friends, Kane, fashion and art and music and good food and a lot of other things *smiles sweetly*

129. What your zodiac sign? ~ Cancer

131. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? ~ Be incredibly confused because Eli’s gay *laughs*

133. Favourite lyrics right now? ~ “You and I, wide awake / With the sky falling down / As we wait for the morning / Is there a place in the stars / Where the sky goes to sleep? / We got no way of knowing” Feel by Jacob Collier and Lianne La Havas

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? ~ Oh I can’t remember, I’ve probably told some dumb ones to my parents when I was younger though

137. How tall are you? ~ 5′7

139. Brunette or Blonde? ~ My hair is brown

141. Night or Day? ~ Day

143. Are you a vegetarian? ~ No, but I wouldn’t say I’m a huge meat eater either

145. Tea or Coffee? ~ Tea, I have lots of herbal teas that I drink depending on my mood *smiles*

147. Mars or Snickers? ~ Ooo, snickers

149. Do you believe in ghosts? ~ Yes, sadly it happens to unrested spirits *lowers head*

2. Are you outgoing or shy? ~ I’m super outgoing dude *laughs*

4. Are you easy to get along with? ~ I’m so chill, what are you sayin, of course *winks*

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? ~ Oh man, anyone who’s fit straight off, but people who are just ‘out there’ y’know

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? ~ I saw a spunk on the beach last night, she disappeared before I could introduce myself

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? ~ Kasper, he lectures me all the time

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? ~ Ooh, that’s a toughie, uhhh, Cake by the Ocean, Funky Duck, Feels Like Summer, Andromeda aaanddd…..Wonderwall *laughs*

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? ~ Sure, why not *chuckles* a lot of crazy shit happens everyday man

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? ~ No joke, don’t know the last person I kissed, oops *laughs, embarrassed*

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? ~ Nah

20. Do you like your neighbors? ~ They’re a’ight. They don’t really leave there place though

22. Where would you like to travel? ~ I dunno, I’ve been to a lot of places, don’t really know where I want to go next

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? ~ I normally skate to the cafe Billie works at most mornings and grab a smoothie

26. What do you do when you wake up? ~ Jerk off *smirks*

28. Who are you most comfortable around? ~ Andie for sure, she sucks a lot sometimes, but she’s my sister and no one really gets me like she does

30. Do you ever want to get married? ~ Meh, maybe someday, but not for a loooooonggg time *chuckles*

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? ~ you have no idea how happy I am i got this question *laughs cheekily* Chris Hemsworth and Cara Delevingne, I wouldn’t need to get any for like a year if that happned *laughs*

34. Do you play sports? What sports? ~ I surf and skate a lot, it’s kind of all I do tbh, me and Kas box together sometimes too

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? ~ Yup *smirks*

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? ~ Someone adventurous and confident who can put me in my place *winks*

40. What do you want to do after high school? ~ Man, no one has asked me about school in like, 40 years *laughs*

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? ~ I’m never quiet *smirks*

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? ~ Defo bottom of the ocean, I bet theres a lot of my shit down there *laughs*

46. What are you paranoid about? ~ I dunno, sometimes I freak out because the government is fucking up our planet and shit but Maya always tells me one day we’ll be the ones pulling the strings and it makes me feel alright

48. Have you ever been drunk? ~ *laughs* oh yeah

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? ~ Pink i think *chuckles*

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? ~ I’m perfect, what are you saying *smiles cheekily*

54. Favourite store? ~ Theres this tiny sakte shop across town that sell all sorts of cool shit

56. Favourite colour? ~ Like a greeny-blue kinda colour

58. Last thing you ate? ~ I think like an apple or something

60. Ever won a competition? For what? ~ I’ve won a fair few surf competitions in my time *smirks*

62. Been arrested? For what? ~ I know have, but I can’t remember what for, hasn’t happened in a while, I’m obviously not trying hard enough *winks*

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? ~ pashed my p.e teacher in the kit room, that shit was hot *smirks cheekily*

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? ~ n/a

68. Twitter or Tumblr? ~ Twitter

70. Names of your bestfriends? ~ Andie, Kapser, Teegs, Erik, Maya and Max. I’ve got some friends back in Oz but I haven’t seen them in forever

72. What colour are your towels? ~ Black, cuz we emo in my house *laughs*

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? ~ None, i got this scraggly monkey thing that hangs from my rear view mirror in my car though *chuckles*

76. What colour is your underwear? ~ You wanna take a look yourself darlin’? *winks and smiles cheekily*

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? ~ All of them, I fucking dig ice cream so much, especially ben n jerry

80. What colour pants? ~ You really into my clothes aren’t you *smirks* I got green trunks on

82. Favourite movie? ~ The original Alien is fun

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? ~ 21 jump street defo, although I did like mean girls waay more than I thought I would when I saw it

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? ~ Shiiiit, I fucking loved that film, haven’t seen it in years though, whats the turtle called again? You know the really stoned one? *laughs* yeah him, or the shark

88. Last person you talked to today? ~ Kasper, I think

90. Name a person you love? ~ Getting all sappy now are we *smirks* want me to say you? I can if you want babe *winks*

92. In a fight with someone? ~ Nah, don’t take a lot to get me there though *smirks*

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? ~ A fucking lot *laughs*

96. Favourite actress? ~ Margot Robbie is hot as fuck *smirks*

98. Do you tan a lot? ~ I’m tan 24/7 bby *chuckles*

100. How are you feeling? ~ High as fuck *laughs*

102. Do you regret anything from your past? ~ Yeah, but I try not to think about it, live in the moment and shit

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? ~ Sometimes, but I normally forget about it within a couple of mins

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? ~ Ahhh probably, have you seen me, how could I not *winks*

108. What should you be doing? ~ Fuck all *laughs*

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? ~ Fuuuck, yeaaaaah

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? ~ I don’t cry around people….I don’t really cry at all tbh

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? ~ I’ve been all over the world darlin’ *smirks* I’m a cultured guy *chuckles*

116. Are you listening to music right now? ~ I’m in a cafe and theres music playing so yeah

118. Do you like Chinese food? ~ I like all food

120. Are you afraid of the dark? ~ Haha, I do most of my wirk in the dark so I fucking hope not *laughs*

122. Is cheating ever okay? ~ No, unless your girl or guy cheated first, then it’s just payback

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? ~ Yeah, I’ve seen it happen

126. Are you currently bored? ~ Nah, you’re very entertaining *smiles cheekily*

128. Would you change your name? ~ Nah, my name’s alright

130. Do you like subway? ~ Not really, I don’t eat a lot of fast food

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? ~ Kasper I think

134. Can you count to one million? ~ I Have to to count the reasons why you and me would make a cute couple *winks and then laughs*

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? ~ Closed, who the fuck leaves it open!?

138. Curly or Straight hair? ~ My hair is kinda wavey, and on other people i like all types, I don’t descriminate *smirks*

140. Summer or Winter? ~ Summer!

142. Favourite month? ~ June duh, it’s my birthday month

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? ~ yes *laughs*

146. Was today a good day? ~ It was a’ight

148. What’s your favourite quote? ~ Maya and Erik spurt some educational shit at me all the time but fuck do I have a ‘favourite quote’ *laughs*

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? ~ the closest book to me right now is in the library across town so no way mate *chuckles

[plobbiwrites]

Hello, Grief Cake.

Dear Someone,

Uff. I’ve never wanted to write myself into an agony aunt situation, so I don’t write until I think someone can relate. This is usually around when many Things have already happened, so I’ve learned to begin right from the middle.

Hence, uff.

I should write about the lockdown. About losing what feels like 2 years worth of hair in 2 months. About how insidious being indoors is. About how my Vitamin D levels are hilariously low. About how confounding it is that people I love, people I think are My People are considering long term relationships when I’m still confused about how even a short term one would manifest in my life. About how, at 22, I feel like a toddler playing house, when I felt 50 at 16.

It wasn’t until I was in the middle of cleaning out garbage juice (r/cursedwords) and maggots from my dustbin because I overslept on the last 3 wet waste days that I realised adult supervision doesn’t feel like a bad idea anymore.

So is that what this post is going to be about? About the girl in her early 20’s and how she gets by in a new city, with a new job and new people, new freedom, garbage maggots and fridge fungus and all?

Maybe this post is about how cheated I feel about moving back home and having mommy deal with all my problems. About not getting to experience 23 in all its fungal, first-dates, bleh days, 3rd - piece-of-chocolate-because-who’s-going-to-say-no glory. I was waiting to see if my early 20’s would play out like a TV show – a eureka moment at work has everyone applauding for me. I meet the wrong guy a bunch of times, then it turns out (le gasp!) that the right guy was with me the whole time. I muster up the energy to go bar hopping after a landmark day at work. I realise the true meaning of a cantankerous mentor’s feedback at the end of the episode and my day finishes with a happy little montage.

(Sidenote: With the benefit of time and hopefully, more perspective, I can’t wait to see how much 30 year old me is going to snigger at this whole post.)

As it stands though, I’m stuck in a tug-of-war between being An Adult TM and staying a feckless teen.

Which brings us back to today and the uff.

The 3rd last (ever) episode of Supernatural killed off my favourite character. Now, I’ve learned to be more than the hyperventilating, gesticulating fangirl I was 6 years ago. But, Supernatural was my gateway drug, it partly catalysed who I am at today and fully catalysed this post. Eye-rollers, stick around, there might still be something worth reading here. Might.

If I were hard on myself, I’d say I didn’t learn shit, I only learned to pretend like I’m a semi functional human being when I’m not bawling my eyes out between gasping breaths because Cas just died.

If I were being generous, I’d comfort myself. No Plobbi, that’s just growing up . It’s still a huge part of my life and of course I’m weeping, but I have other thoughts and opinions and purposes now. And I’ll continue to grow for the rest of my life. I can be unapologetic about the list of special things that make my heart happy but the list never has to stagnate.

If I were harsh with myself, I’d say oh there I go, again. I can’t get fit, relationships still confuse me, I forget to stay in touch with dear friends and I still haven’t received that standing ovation I was told to expect at work. Look at me binge Goblin and Mr Sunshine with every free minute I have. Look at me weep about Supernatural like I’m 16 again. Look at me eat my salty, snotty chocolate grief cake. There goes that “health streak”.

If I were kind, I’d say wow look at me gargle salt water so I don’t wake up with a funky throat in the year of our lord 2020, during a global pandemic, a polarising election, the tightest season at work and Destiel finally becoming real, after 12 years, in the most homophobic way possible.

I’m feeling really kind right now. At 22, I paid my own rent today, for the 14th time in my life. I also remembered to throw out the garbage. But really, 16 was only 6 short years ago. My ship and (for better or worse) a big part of my identity 6 years ago was just validated. The character I drew my most childish fan art of, my window to how people, feelings and relationships work, my constant companion through the most topsy turvy years of my life so far, just died. In an incredibly grown up act, I only ate 1/3rd of my jar of chocolate grief cake. I also wiped tears and snot right onto my T shirt. I also gargled to make sure I don’t have to put up with 10 more days of antibiotics for a sore throat brought on by said grief cake.

I’m still yesterday’s child dealing with today’s problems. At least I’m dealing. Any and all TV show hopes and dreams have now been postponed to my 30’s and I’ll let you know how that goes. Until then, I’mma enjoy mom’s fresh cut fruit bowls, cuddles, tear salty grief cake, swooning over whichever kdrama is my current crutch (escapism FTW), do at least half my workout when I didn’t feel like doing any and work hard at my job the only way I know how, whether that’s to the sound of applause or just a podcast getting me through the day.

Real Actual Love, Me

[mechagalaxy]

John T. Mainer: Peace is off the table

Peace is off the table We were coming off two savage battles.  Division one is not a place for the faint of heart.  I was confident our next battle would be a victory, but we had taken so much damage from the Sith lords in the last round that I wanted to walk carefully and give our techs a bit of time to see if anything dangerous needed fixing before we got into a big fight again. We were tracking down an overdue parts convoy with my command company from the Bouncing Blue Berserkers.  I was the least beaten up, and so far down the list of priority repairs that if I didn’t get that convoy tracked down, I was going into the next fight with what my auto repair and med bot thought was good enough, and if I blew up, don’t go bitching to the techs. I didn’t think any of the other Factions would mess with our stuff outside of battle.  I mean nobody wants to start that or we all have to waste half our combat power securing our supply chain, and we all blow up five times the ammunition we get to keep, everyone getting poor in a race for bankruptcy. The House of Strategoi couldn’t even erect their own tents properly.  It was so sad I sent a work detail over to help them out.  The idea that no rank lower than a major could successfully pull of an actual mission, not a briefing for a mission was enough to make me laugh.  The supplies were being hit by someone else.  I figured swatting a few pirates would be a relaxing way to kill time, and get me the stuff I needed to get the repair and rearmament process done before the next fight. Suddenly my sensor sweep started fuzzing out.  I jumped up the power for high resolution and my screens dissolved into static as the low power jamming I had been brushing against turned into full power broad spectrum ECM attack. The jamming was all over about two hundred and seventy degrees of my forward arc, leading me to believe that we were mostly encircled already, and the back door was busy slamming shut behind us.  Outstanding.  Not a pirate alive that can match me (except Tory when she is in a mood, but we aren’t anywhere near her so its still mostly true), so we are going to swat a pirate and take home our toys. I shake my company into battle formation, dropping my Aspis back to the far rear to watch for anyone creeping up from behind (best passive sensors in the fleet on those funky shield crests of theirs), and took my big 105-110 tonners out to break heads. As we crested the hill, I decided to maybe hold off on the breaking heads, and maybe give peace a chance.  It wasn’t pirates, it was the ENTIRE UNIFICATION ARMY. Well not the whole thing, but there had to be about 1200 mecha on my sensors right now, and nothing below 85 tons.  Well, crap.  I had shoot on sight orders in the system, as we were pirate swatting, but those were huge tonnage numbers and with Unification, they could have their mobile gates anywhere, so I had no idea if they had support close or not.  I did not. “Alright guys, change in plan, give peace a chance.  Don’t start anything, and lets see if we can talk our way through this.  We are just a standard anti-piracy patrol for the Illyrian Hegemony, not even really mercenaries technically.  Thank the gods we are so fresh from combat our clan colours are all scrubbed, burned, or blasted off.  Just be cool” Be cool, we could do this.  No fighting.  Sure, we were Berserkers, but that was just a name right? The Unification had us in a classic L shaped ambush, force to our front, force to our left flank, the right flank was a slope I wouldn’t trust anything above 55 tons to climb, and I was losing signal from behind so assumed they were closing that off too.   Funny, they don’t seem to have concentrated that much depth to the front, assuming that having us in a crossfire would be sufficient to keep us under control.  It sort of depends.  Weight of metal is great, but in Division 1 our machines are so far away from factory spec that it really takes a very detailed scan or combat footage to get a true picture of the combat power you were actually facing.  One of us was making a mistake here.  I wonder who? “State your business and affiliataion.  This area is under Unification control”   I had our Praetorian ID still in the system since we did that little job, so I lit it up on our transponders and trotted out the whole “just honest soldiers, not dirty mercenaries” song while their inspectors gave us the hard once over.   Not a single scrap of paint remained to give us away.  What could go wrong? A pair of Unification Towers were poking their heavy flamers into the chest of my front rank Penner.  Oh no.  Oh no, no, no, no.  Not that one.  There was more than paint to worry about from that mecha.   “Hey punk, what is the name of that machine, what is that you have graven in the armour?  It looks kind of familiar don’t you think Sarge?”  The Unification pilot was enhancing the image, washing it through the filters to remove the damage and resolve the image.  That meant peace was just about over.  I keyed the weapons free command into my system and the revised ROE (Rules of Engagement) were in the process of being beamed to my command company when Lt Ramba Ral answered the question of what his Penner was named, and started the next war. The thing the Unification forces were looking at was an icon, a clan that no longer existed here, and the enemy of the war that won’t end in their own universe. “Seig Xeon!”  Ramba Ral spoke and cut loose with a Vadhar jammed where a Tower would have its junk if Tower’s had junk, and blew it right through the Optio behind. I gave the only command possible, “Blood and souls!”  I screamed, cutting loose with my Mjolnir to cut down the Unification officer, and drive my command company forward through the Unification blockade.  Our only way out of the ambush was to attack through it with maximum violence. Peace was off the table, Unification was coming for us.  Why the heck did I try to play diplomat with Berserkers anyway? Oh well, found my supply convoy at the Unification camp, so we will at least be rearmed and resupplied when the “Surprise Unification Raid” hits. John T Mainer 28840

[udemy-gift-coupon-blog]

Spice-Up Your Guitar SONG-Playing; Develop YOUR Unique Style ##freetutorials ##UdemyReview #Develop #Guitar #SONGPlaying #SpiceUp #Style #Unique Spice-Up Your Guitar SONG-Playing; Develop YOUR Unique Style This course will change the way that you are playing songs. It's going to become a much more creative experience, open to your own interpretations and choices. People will be touched and impressed with what you'll do on the guitar - and they'll want to hear more. (for more details on the techniques and "spices" that you will learn - see the description below, and also the course curriculum content below) ***** Are you at a place where you can play songs that you love on the guitar, but you feel that most of them sound plain, and sort-of the same when you play them? Do you want to play songs in a more enjoyable, satisfying way - with a lot more creative choices and sound options at your fingertips? Do you want to be able to really express and transmit your emotions through your playing - and captivate your listeners? Do you want to get into a journey of improving and spicing-up your song-playing through studying the habits, ideas and techniques of some the world's most-loved guitarists? (The Beatles, John Mayer, Ed Sheeran, Jimi Hendrix, Jack Johnson and many others) If the answers are yes - so you are in the right place, and the only place on the internet which can give you those answers. I created this course as the dream course that I wish I had when I was at the position that you're at now. ***** I was at that exact same place shortly after I was finally able to play a lot of my favorite songs fluently, and this feeling stuck for several years of mostly plateauing. A feeling of "OK... What's next after I got those simple strums down?". I felt like my playing was stuck in a rut and there was nothing really special or ear-catching in my playing, neither to me - or to my friends who were listening. That's actually a spot most people get to - once they can strum some songs. They want to be more than a campfire player that's identical to the next guy/girl. And you can be at this spot whether if you've been playing for 6 months or 30 years. But with the right guidance and inspiration - you can move forward very quickly and fire up the guitar passion all over again. ***** Once I started getting on that road of discovering new song-playing techniques, the new possibilities and new spices I can add to my sound just kept showing up, my ears got better, and I found new inspirations in many songs that I listened to. Today - the last thing I feel when I play a song is the "boredom" or the "same-old-same-old" feeling that I used to feel. The other way around is true - I feel like there are just many different ways in which I can take a song and make it "my own". Because of that, each time I play a song - it's also a slightly different version of it - and that's what I like the most - the richness of possibilities and choices that I can make. ***** THE OFFICIAL COURSE E-BOOKS: (Also, look below for the 7 bonus E-Books that you're getting) Beautiful, printable SONGBOOK with 110+ of the most fun-to-play guitar songs of all time - so you'll have many songs to practice your new techniques on. I handpicked these songs for you - and they are all EPIC. You'll get hundreds of hours of fun out of this book. BONUS: A detailed 100 page fancy e-book that'll help you ingrain the knowledge from each lesson. Inluding how-to-practice guides, cheat-sheets, links to relevant examples in famous songs, lesson summaries, and more. ***** The 18 techniques that you will have up your sleeve after this course are:  (everything will be learned by using practical examples from at least 5 famous songs, and with detailed "how to put this into practice" guides) Arpeggio Picking: ("The #1 Way to Beautify Songs") where instead of strumming all strings at once - you pick every note individually. We will focus deeply on this technique and you will get all the tools you need to easily play songs that are originally played with arpeggios, or also to "convert" regular, strummed songs into gorgeous arpeggio covers. Notable examples: Green Day - Time of Your Life, Led Zeppelin - Stairway to Heaven, R.E.M - Everybody Hurts. Create "Stairways" Over Chord Transitions by Using Bass Walk-Ups & Walk-Downs: This is a technique to make your chord transitions more lively - where instead of for example switching directly from G to E minor, we will take the role of a bass player for a second, and add a "walk-down" on the F# note, on the way down from the G to the E minor. Examples: Jeff Buckley - Hallelujah, Ben E. King - Stand By Me, Radiohead - Karma Police. Changing the Vibe of a Song by Changing the GROOVE (rhythmic feeling): Take a song that you know and with (or without) the help of a virtual drummer app, "inject" a new groove (new "rhythmic feeling") into it. For example, turn a chill song into a funky song, or a rock song into a bossa-nova. This one's FUN, and you can see examples in The Fugees cover of No Woman No Cry (sort of a folk rhythm in the Bob Marley version, turned into R&B rhythm), in John Mayer's cover of Free Fallin' (The Tom Petty rock song - turned into folk), and in Jamiroquai cover of Sunny. (soul song turned into a super funky song) Give Your Songs a Lot More DEPTH by Building Them Up Gradually, Using DYNAMIC Playing: With the techniques and theory in this section, you'll be able to leave the "flat" song-playing behind you, and give songs deeper performances, with varying energy levels in each part, even when all you have is just one acoustic guitar and not a full band. Examples: the build-ups between the parts of the song in Green Day - Time of Your Life, Jeff Buckley - Hallelujah, Van Morrison - Into the Mystic. Add Some MELODIES to Your Song-Playing by Adding Riffs & Fills Between Chords: Spice up your song-playing by combining some lead-guitar playing in it - by adding cool melodies and riffs in between some of your chords. Examples: all the Jimi Hendrix songs, John Mayer - Gravity, Jack Johnson - F-Stop Blues, Van Morrison - Crazy Love (Athens 1989 version). Adding Some Acoustic Beach Vibes to Your Songs with "The Jack Johnson Slaps & Mutes": Learn how to play chill, acoustic, "beach-style" guitar - in the style of Jack Johnson. Examples: Jack Johnson - Better Together, I Got You, Banana Pancakes, Bubbly Toes. The Beautiful Girls - La Mar. Ben Harper - Forever. You'll be able to naturally substitute plain chords with some COLORFUL 7th chords in songs that you play. (like Dmaj7, F7, Em7, etc.) You'll know how to use them and you'll know when they fit in best. Examples of songs with a lot of 7th chords: Just the Two of Us, The Beatles - Something, Fly Me to the Moon. Also, most blues songs contain Dominant7 / minor7 chords. Beautifully decorating your chords by using hammer-ons and pull-offs in and out of them. Examples: Bob Dylan, Brett Dennen - Don't Think Twice It's Alright, The Doobie Brothers - Long Train Running, John Mayer - Queen of California. We'll work on adding the #1 ingredient into your songs - EMOTION. We'll see different examples from artists who evoke different emotions and do some exercises ourselves, so you can really start feeling the songs, and make sure that your listeners feel you as well. Learn how to play songs in the electric style of Jimi Hendrix and John Mayer, with their unique right-hand groove, and while adding riffs between the chords (and while playing "thumb-over chords"). You can use it to play their songs, or to "convert" any other song into their style. Examples: Jimi Hendrix - Bold As Love, The Wind Cries Mary, Castles Made of Sand. John Mayer - Slow Dancing In a Burning Room, Gravity, Daughters. Adding “The Funk Sauce” to Different Genres of Music: SLIDING Into Chords: This technique will enable you to make a more "pronounced" entry into chords that you want to emphasize. It can be done either in a "funky" style, "country" style, and more styles that you'll see in the lessons. Examples: Red Hot Chili Peppers - Under The Bridge, (sliding into some of the chords in the verse) Jimi Hendrix - Little Wing, Red House, (Sliding into some of the chords in the intro) John Mayer - Stop This Train. (Into the 2nd chord of the repeating progression of the verse) Sus 2 & Sus 4 Chords: Adding Interest with Tension & Release Elements. Examples: Brian Adams - Summer of '69 (intro of the MTV unplugged version), Elton John - Can You Feel The Love Tonight, (Just before the chorus) John Denver - Leaving on a Jet Plane. (Just before the chorus) How to use Palm-Muting to play around with the dynamics of a song - so you can make sure that the intro sounds smaller, and the chorus sounds BIGGER for example. Examples: Ed Sheeran - A Team, Green Day - Basket Case, Van Morrison & Bob Dylan in Athens - Crazy Love. Make Your Songs Butter-Smooth and Your Chords SPACIOUS: Slash Chords. This one's about Using slash chords (like D/F#, C/B, Em/G, etc.) to either create interesting bass line movements, or to get fuller-sounding chords. Examples: Elton John - Your Song, Can You Feel the Love Tonight, Tiny Dancer. Simon & Garfunkel - America. (Interesting bass line movements - either ascending or descending ) Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here. (fuller sounding chords) "Wiping Down" The Strings – a Great BUILD-UP Technique to Capture Attention: build up quick tension before a new song part. A cool little touch that adds a lot of fun. Example: Stevie Ray Vaughan - Pride and Joy, (before the first solo) Jimi Hendrix - Little Wing, (right as the song starts) John Mayer - Ain't No Sunshine cover (right before the 2nd verse). Making Chords HUGE with the CHORDS VIBRATO Technique: Most of us know the vibrato from solos, and when it's used only on single notes. However, inside the course I'll show you 5 techniques to add a vibrato to whole chords. It sounds AWESOME. Usually you'll end a song with it, or emphasize certain chords with it. For an even more pronounced, similar effect, check out the tremolo in Stevie Ray Vaughan - Lenny, (intro) and Nancy Sinatra - Bang Bang. (intro) Spicing-Up Chord Transitions by Adding WHOLE CHORDS Walk-Ups or Walk-Downs: Examples: Radiohead - Just (into the chorus), Bill Withers - Ain't No Sunshine (a walk-down is often added in live performances, right at middle of the bridge - "and she's always gona too long") Jimi Hendrix - Little Wing (in the middle of each progression - it's a Bbm7-Am7-Abm7) Playing Alternative Chord Voicings All Over the Neck: Replacing open chords with more interesting, sparkling voicings up the neck. Three extra techniques - see The Middle Section in the course to find out more! SONGWRITERS - your future songs will be a lot more interesting and different from the rest of the pack. The new sounds out of your guitar will surely inspire you in more ways, and take your lyrics and melodies to new territories. ***** Bonus lessons: (available in the "Middle Section" of the course) How to (Practically) Start Discovering Your Own Unique Sound on the Guitar Adding the Often-Forgotten, #1 Ingredient to Your Songs: EMOTION A Quick-Start Guide to PRACTICAL Guitar & Music Theory How to Make Your Guitar 3X More Fun to Play (80-20 Maintenance Talk) My Bullet-Proof Method to Easily Find the Correct Strumming Pattern of Any Song The 2 Main Keys for Learning (and Remembering) ANY Song - Much Faster Than How You're Used to 7 Reasons to Start Spicing-Up Your Performances with a HARMONICA My 2 Cents About Singing - and Recommended Ways to Learn It My Favorite 5 Song-Playing Guitarists on YouTube – An Inspiration Source ***** 7 BONUS E-Books: On top of everything that's above, you'll get 7 more fancy Guitar Songs Masters E-Books that'll help you improve your guitar life. The 14 Best Guitar Apps That You'll Actually Use 11 Guitar Practice Tips for Speedy Improvement The Complete Guitar Chords Cheat-Book The 13 Best Guitar Accessories That You'll Need My Secret Songbooks Link-Bank: Get Access to 7 Songbooks with 5000+ Songs 9 Cool Ways to Customize Your Guitar Improve Your Sense of Rhythm Cheat-Sheet Tricks, hacks and techniques: (Partial list, see the curriculum for the rest, and new lessons added every 1-2 months) ***** Why should you listen to me? Hey friend! I'm Cooper, a music man based in beautiful Melbourne, Australia. (Originally from the lovely and lively Tel Aviv, Israel) I work with other artists mostly as a guitarist, pianist and harmonica player - and I specialize in (and LOVE!) blues, jazz, and 60s-70s rock n' roll. In 2014 I founded the blog Guitar Songs Masters-com -  (formerly named GuitarHippies) which grew over time and work to be one of the top five most-read guitar blogs worldwide with a monthly readership of 100K people, along with its accompanying video courses academy. Over the last several years, I spent many months traveling through four different continents with my guitar, and having a great time with many musicians. My primary focus since my early days of playing the guitar, was to play the songs that I love - while trying to give them my personal twist. That's what I'm an expert at - and that's why this course is the flagship course that I worked on for a year and there's nothing like it on the internet. To conclude - my expertise is in teaching you how to play the songs that you love - with your own unique sound that I can help you develop. ***** Looking forward to seeing you inside the course, and to hopefully hear from you as you're making the journey of developing your own sound. (I'm serious - I love hearing from students - so feel free to send me a message) - Cooper Who this course is for: Guitar players that feel like their song-playing is on the boring side - and who want a major refreshment. Guitar players who feel that they're stuck in a rut and want to add more personal style to their playing. 👉 Activate Udemy Coupon 👈 Free Tutorials Udemy Review Real Discount Udemy Free Courses Udemy Coupon Udemy Francais Coupon Udemy gratuit Coursera and Edx ELearningFree Course Free Online Training Udemy Udemy Free Coupons Udemy Free Discount Coupons Udemy Online Course Udemy Online Training 100% FREE Udemy Discount Coupons https://www.couponudemy.com/blog/spice-up-your-guitar-song-playing-develop-your-unique-style/

[afterourhearts]

food i’ll miss the most in RVA

Hi guys! This is almost more of a post for myself to think back and remember all the delicious cuisine in Richmond that I won’t be able to readily access anymore. As my last month here creeps up on me, I’ve been thinking more and more about how much I’ve grown to love this little “river” city. It’s only apt that I’m taking an archaeology class about Richmond in my last semester as it only reminds me yet again about how rich in culture this place is. Of course, I’m still thrilled to head back to Ohio (or maybe Philly if the interviews went well?), but I think I’ll always be willing to visit Richmond in the future and show my future friends around this adorable place :) ok, but on to the food (not ranked in order of best or anything just places I absolutely adore):

1) Huynh’s now turned Vietnam One Vermicelli with Tofu & Spring Roll - ok so most people have tried this popular Viet dish but I’ve tried at least like 10 of these from diff. places and nothing beats the dish at Vietnam One here. It’s the TOFU. It’s seasoned and cooked to perfection; crispy on outside and soft on the inside and bursting with flavor (as opposed to a lot of other places that have pretty bland fried tofu). Honestly I could just eat the tofu and be pleased. So many memories and probably 50+ trips to this place with my apt., definitely forever going to be in our hearts.

2) Jack Brown’s BBQ chips with mac n cheese burger - only like $6, 5 minutes from my school, juiciest homemade patty, amazing pairing of creamy mac n cheese with crispy chip pieces, and all served with the most refreshing pickle. UGH I WANT IT NOW.

3) Frank West’s Pizzeria Cheese Pizza - omgomgomg so everyone here likes Christian’s which is a NY style thin crust heavy cheese pizza and also fairly good but Frank West’s is even better though less known! A local here showed it to me and I’ve been in love ever since. Crust is on a thinner side but not crazy thin, generous amounts of sauce which I love, and the cheese is speckled with some kind of seasoning that is perfection.

4) Peter Chang’s Dry Fried Eggplant - so there isn’t much Chinese food here to rave about due to the heavily viet but low chinese population in rva but they at least boast one authentic szechuan place (though hong kong house in cbus is def better) STILL they have this standout eggplant dish here that I’ve never seen elsewhere. It’s fried eggplant “fries” seasoned in szechuan flavors/cilantro and it isn’t greasy b/c it is dry fried rather than deep fried. AMAZING alternative to fries!

5) Sugar Shack Donuts esp. lemon poppyseed and strawberry lemon - ok so RVA is KNOWN for donuts and for good reason. Sugar shack has been ranked in national magazines/food blogs all the time and it has literally the yummiest donuts I’ve ever had. Coming from cbus where donuts is just Krispy Kreme, I truly can say I’ve never known anything better existed. Sugar shack is like a bigger, better krispy kreme. It doesn’t melt away in your mouth in seconds like krispy kreme but it is still so fluffy and airy inside like lightweight bakery bread almost. Planning on bringing a dozen of these home after graduation!

6) Bombolini Pasta - a little place in Carytown that has really authentic pasta and delicious sauces, as well as a bunch of homemade frozen ravioli you can buy and cook later at home. I love that the noodles here are never overcooked, like true pasta should be served :) 

7) Honey Truffle Fries and Salt n Pepper Fries with Garlic Aioli at Postbellum - this place has a cute little rooftop bar and the most amazing thin fries!!! honey + truffle oil topped with shaved parmesan - could there be a better combo?! The only fries I like better than here are the crispy BonChon ones but BonChon can be found outside of RVA too!

8) Social 52 Crab Dip with Pita - I’ve never had better crab dip, or maybe I was just really drunk xD this bar does have a ton of tasty fusion style apps though!

9) Toast Sweet Potato Tater Tots - a gastropub right beside my school that often rotates out some really unique fusion style dishes (kimchi aiolis and shiz like that) but we always come back to their staple side dish, the sweet potato tots. MMMMMM mmm mm! People make sweet potato fries all the time, but tots? wowzaa

10) Gelati Celesti Chocolate Decadence - hands down the creamiest, thickest, chocolateyest cold creamy gelato goodness you’ll ever try! 

11) Noorani’s Gobi Manchurian, Chicken 65, Egg biryani, and Seekh Kabab - omg I could go on and on about this place forever. Yes your stomach will rebel against you the following day but it is worth the later pain hahaha. I just LOVE their gobi manchurian (fried cauliflower tossed in an indo-chinese sauce), they have the most well-spiced chicken 65 ever, biryani is on the wetter side which I LOVE, and mmm the seekh kabob is served in the most amazing sauce with sliced ginger and it’s just like pakistani heaven!!! It breaks my heart thinking about how much I’ll miss this place :’( even though service is crap, food is always delicious.

12) Zzzaaaam bibimbap bowls - this place is like a korean chipotle but it has every topping you’d ever want in your bibimbap at extremely reasonable prices, with a variety of super tasty sauce combos and topped with sesame oil drizzle. I always feel fairly healthy eating here too which is a bonus :) 

13) New Grand Market Cafe’s Jajungmyeon with Tangsooyuk = ehrmygawd this is the most amazing combination ever created!! Tasty hot noodles in black bean seafood sauce paired with crispy sweet & sour pork & bell peppers/onions = heaven on earth; place is also a supermarket so you can stock up on asian snacks while you’re here!

14) Chadar Thai’s Drunken Noodles and Curry Fried Rice - the best Thai place in this city. Ignore the overpriced and underwhelming Carytown places (thai diner, mom’s siam, ginger thai, thai top ten, elephant thai, thai palace, etc) and come here! Definitely the BEST and most flavorful thai place around!! Their drunken noodles are UNBEATABLE and yes I’ve tried like 7 other places so I would know lololol

15) Shyndigz Fruit Cake and Key Lime Pie - this place is the cutest little date dessert spot!! they have christmas lights everywhere indoor and outdoors and just the cutest little southern belle/rustic theme; grab a slice of their super moist and fresh fruitcake or absolutely perfectly tart key lime pie with the tastiest crust with your girls or a boo thang and enjoy it under the christmas light warm glow!! you’ll 100% have a night to remember :) 

16) Plaza Azteca burritos/enchiladas - so I’m not a huge fan of Mexican because I find a lot of the dishes bland but this place is diff. and they believe in heavy use of sauces/queso which I LOVEEEE. the free nachos/salsa they give are amazing (super thin crispy nachos and the smoothest/freshest salsa), made to order guac is perfect!!, and any of their burritos/enchiladas are bound to be completely covered in sauce and other drizzles and also laying in like a literal pool of more sauce so ohmygoodness yes I’m a big fan

17) Burger Bach New Zealand Burgers - def on the costlier side but comes with a side of fancy salad w like arugula and shiz not just iceberg lettuce and a bunch of creative dips for your fries; burger is also bigger and more flavorful than at Jack Brown’s but Jack beats this place based on price and bun and size and convenience and that freaking pickle ... lol burger bach to jack browns is like shake shack to in-n-out ... one is obvs more expensive and better in quality but the other is unique in taste and affordable sooooooo ya just love BOTH!

18) Mama J’s Southern Kitchen - if you want real soul food this is where its at; here is the only place I like collard greens and they have the sweetest yams and amazing catfish (only place better was in new orleans!) and these freaking awesome wings you must ask for tossed in something called Edy’s sauce. not even sure wtf is in that sauce but it’s bliss

19) Addis Kitchen’s Injera - have you tried ethiopian bread before?? liz and I came across this place when we went to a lackluster italian festival and still needed more food and tried injera for the first time. it was delicious!! it’s a sour, spongey bread that isn’t heavy at all you could literally eat it for ages and just paired amazingly with their veggie/meat dishes which remind me of indian curries a bit. def an experience i’d recommend!

20) Foo Dog’s Fried Tofu and Malaysian Ramen - ok so this place is no fukuryu but the coconut based lemongrass soup is really tasty (noodles need work) and their fried tofu app is deliciously stuffed with a bunch of flavorful veggies and sauces and if you want some bao sandwiches/asian street food combos this is def a good place!

21) Continental Westhampton’s Poutine Fries - omggg this plate of fries is not only covered in gravy but also scallions and an EGG and cheese and if this isn’t your idea of dream loaded fries idk what is

22) Galaxy Diner Malt Shakes and Pickle Chips - so this diner serves breakfast all day and is perfect for post drinking food binges that will do major damage to your waistline but all the greasy foods are just okay in my opnion; really not a standout place except for the funky atmosphere/lighting and one particularly spectacular drink: their malt shakes!!!!!! enough said

23) Don’t Look Back Fish Tacos (traditional style) and Chorizo tacos (gringo style) - it’s not quite LA street taco quality but it’s about as good as it gets around here!

24) Cookout banana shake, chili cheese dogs, chicken nugs, cheese fries, and onion rings - a late night drive through that has everything you’d ever want at 2am in the morning at dollar prices. how perf is this? 

There’s probably places I’m forgetting (as you can tell I’ve eaten out a LOT in college hahahhaa) so I’ll try to keep updating this but for now, these are the places that will always have a special place in my heart and that I highly recommend you trying if you’re ever heading to VA beach and feel compelled to stop by adorably historic and tasty Richmond!

[typhoonbook]

Chapter Extract 1: Sparks Fly

8:30am, my alarm was ringing loudly. Today was the day. Today was the day I was going to meet James again, and not just that, I would be meeting him alone, our first official 'date' date, and not group date. What was I to wear? Didn't have a clue, but it had to be sensible as I was going to be going to my grandmothers for lunch and then meeting him in the afternoon. So, with that in mind, I decided to wear my baby pink shorts, a grey short sleeved jumper style top (It literally doesn't fit any label, it just looks nice), and decided on my brown funky style plaited shoes. It was when I was finished getting ready and sat on my bed, when all the nerves that I was pushing away when getting ready hit me at once like the Titanic hit the Iceberg. Boom. Crack, and whooooosh.

Would he be the same as yesterday? Would he like me when I am not around my friends? Would he stand me up today? Stupid thoughts, coming from a stupid overthinking mind!

It is when I think back to these moments from today's lens, when I release how much I really overthink and overthought many of the situations that you will have the joy of reading about further along the book. Like why? It's a form of self-torture. I do not need to think of these thoughts, and they do not add anything to my life, but stress, worry and needless panic. Had he dropped out, nope. Did he show any signs of not liking me yesterday, nope. Has he done anything that could have possibly spurred these thoughts inside my head? Hell no. So I had no reason to listen to them. So I got up, brushed my teeth, brushed my hair into its signature style, and made myself look fierce with a couple of lotions and potions. I am a big lover of Lush (Other Products are available), for their natural ingredients and for a person with sensitive skin like mine, not all lotions and potions are a good fit for me. So once I was ready, we headed to my nanas house, and enjoyed the second day of summer sun as a family in the garden.

As a British person, the weather is a big thing for me, as this summer was especially lovely. The sun and warmth stayed for a long time! Usually it's a mixture of a week of amazing weather, then a couple weeks of just pure rain, then another block of sun, then rain, and you get the idea. This was a solid couple month of just sun. Maybe two days of thunderstorms, but that was concentrated in the evening, so it was nice to watch the electric light-show of strikes across the sky at night.

We sat and spoke. Updated each other on our lives and had a lovely lunch that my nana had prepared before our arrival. However, throughout the whole time as much as I was with my family, I had James firmly in my mind. He was my next meeting of the day, and the most nerve wracking. Would it be the same as the day before? Would we feel the same seeing each other? Were my friends a huge reason why we clicked so well, and why he was able to unwind as much as he did? Well, all my answers we going to be answered in one single hour, the hour it took for me to leave my grandmother's house and arrive at Kensington Gardens, where we were to meet.

The skies were grey, pretty average for London. A stark difference from the skies that graced us the day before. Piercing blue skies with the sun shining brightly all day long, from dawn to dusk. This day was equally warm, but the sun appeared to be hiding. This also made me nervous, as how could be cuddle up on the grass and talk about our days when its pouring down with rain. I hoped throughout the whole journey that the rain would hold off, or just not arrive at all, because I was enjoying the sun.

It was not long before I arrived at High Street Kensington. James said to meet him here so then we could both walk up to Kensington Gardens and find a nice place to sit and chat. Although I only waited in reality maybe a maximum of five minutes, those five minutes were the longest minutes ever. That seems to happen when you find yourself nervous or anxious about something, time seems too slow right down, almost to try and torture your mind. Make you feel even more nervous or anxious.

Then, without a moment's notice, there he was. On the opposite side of the gates to High Street Kensington station, James came through and greeted me with a lovely hug. Just like out departure hug, it was a very good one indeed. We spoke about how our days had been before this point, and what we had been up too. He then also made no delay in reminding me of how burnt my skin was after basking in the sunlight all day the day before for the parade. He tried to be funny, whilst failing miserably to try and mock me (That's what I try and believe inside).

We entered the gardens and proceeded to try and find somewhere nice to settle down for the rest of the day. The skies were holding at this point, and the chance of rain looked minimal, but it still played on my mind that in true Brandon fashion, the clouds above us would produce an orchestra of immense downfall and spoil our day. We found this lovely quiet area within the garden, big and open field of green grass, with one lonely tree within the middle of it, and not another human in sight. Well, close human, you could see a few scattered in the distance but they were purely dots in the horizon at this point. Blanket down, butts on the floor, we settled down and spoke some more! To my delight, it was just like the day before, the conversation flowed well, the feelings were just as bright, and he was just as witty and cute.

Worries, gone. Literally wiped away in a second. Our chat and connection felt so natural, I knew what he was feeling, he knew what I was feeling. We could finish each other's sentences and make each other die with laughter. Everything just seemed to perfect, however there was still one thing that played on my mind, I wanted to hold his hand. Agh it sounds so childish and cringe worthy when writing it out, but at the time this was a big thing for me. I was no expert, but I was no newbie either anymore when it came to dating. I had dated a couple guys, and been on a few dates, but until then, I had never held another guys hand in a romantic way before. By this point, we were both laying on our sides facing each other, and this alone just felt super cute. Our bodies had created a sweet little bubble, just for us and no one else. It was a nice feeling, looking into his eyes and talking so freely about many different things. I felt like I had known him for years.

We gradually got closer as we were speaking, at this point we were laying down, arms used as head rests and looking into each other's eyes intently. We were both so calm and collective, it was a nice feeling. No problems or life troubles taking up my mind, just him, me and the wind through the trees. The distant murmurs of people playing in the gardens, and the sound of the birds up in the trees, tweeting with delight and enthusiasm.

Closer and closer we got; our noses would touch if we kept getting closer. My aim was to try and hold his hand which was now millimetres away from my fingertips. So close, I could feel the warmth radiating off his fingertips, he was a radiator of heat don't get me wrong, but this was now the moment......

[blkwidowsweb]

A Conversation with Summer Oasis Guest DJ, Vick Lavender

Vick Lavender started his career in the late 80's, playing in such Chicago clubs as Red Dog, Sonotech ,Betty's blue star lounge, Sinabar, and The Funky Budda Lounge. He's been a staple at WMC since the late 90's and frequently travels around the world.  His production career started in the mid 90's with The SJU, then continued after leaving The SJU and becoming one of the co-founder's along with Jere Mcallister of Mr Ali, the Chicago based live house music ensemble has been responsible for some of the new classics such as " Missing you", Rainy day, Cast your spell, About us, and many more.   He now runs his own digital label, Sophisticado Recordings, along with Steven Stewert, and the releases continue to flow. Recordings such as "What a poor boy wants feat Peter Jericho, Respect our love feat Carla Prather," Better baby feat Peter Jericho, just to name a few.

I chatted with Vick about his record label, Sophisticado Recordings, his personal DJ Philosophy and his upcoming appearance at the Summer Oasis Music Festival. 

Black Widow:   How did your upbringing influence you musically?

Vick Lavender:  There was a lot of music in the house.  I come from a pretty big family. I’m the youngest boy of 10 siblings, so there is a huge generation gap.  There was everything from Led Zeppelin, Parliament Funkadelic, Rufus and Chaka Khan…you name it.  My father was born in Santiago, Cuba so there was also  a lot of Afro-Cuban jazz played.  All of that cultivated my musical tastes now.

Black Widow:  When were you introduced to the art of DJing and what made you want to learn how to do it?

Vick Lavender:  It was early. I was a freshman in high school and I saw someone doing it. We were already listening to house music on the radio and such with the Hot Mix 5. Once I saw him do it, I knew I wanted to learn it.

Black Widow:  So are you self-taught?

Vick Lavender:   Yeah, we didn’t have much money but my mom pitched in and bought me a set of 12’s. I worked and picked out my mixer and started piecing it all together. Then I started buying records. That’s how it all started for me.

Black Widow:  What was your introduction to the house music scene and genre?

Vick Lavender:   My mom was very strict so there were many places I couldn’t go.  My introduction to it came through my older brother.  He was going to those parties and places and he would bring back these tapes.  It was after I got my turntables that I got those tapes. My brother would say, “Vick, you should be playing this stuff” and he would let me listen to them.  Between that, listening to the radio and hanging out with friends was how I was introduced to it but honestly I was into so much.  I was listening to everything, house music was actually last. I was into a lot of alternative rock, new wave and a lot of music coming out of the UK at that time.  The Cure, The Smiths, New Order, Early Tears for Fears...I was listening to it all.  

Black Widow:  Tell me about Sophisticado Recordings, your label.

Vick Lavender:  When I started production, people would always tell me that my music was a more intricate version of house music…more sophisticated. My friend, Vita gave it that name back in 2006. 

Black Widow:  As a label owner, what is your vision?

Vick Lavender:  My vision was to make music.  It wasn't even to make music in a particular genre even though house music was driving it. I wanted the music to be a fusion of jazz and Caribbean sounds.  Jazz was always the operative word.  I wanted to make house music but I wanted to keep the live instrumentation and mix it with soul.  I wanted to have that mixture of 70s soul, Afro Cuban and jazz.  That’s been the goal and it’s worked out for me.  All of those influences show up in my music and production. 

Black Widow:  What was the driving force behind learning production and creating your own music? 

Vick Lavender:  It was a natural progression. It wasn’t enough for me to play someone else’s records. I wanted to play my own.  I would listen to other people’s records and say, “I would have done this or I would have done that”, so what better way to put your ideas out there then to do it yourself.

Black Widow: You have a monthly event, Sophisticado Live. Is this an extension of the label to introduce people to what you do? What’s the purpose behind this event? 

Vick Lavender:  This is my 2nd time doing this.  I used to produce another outfit, named Mr. Ali. We would do Green Dolphin with Peven Everett from 2001-2003 every Thursday night. That was my 1st chance to bring the whole vibe. Jerry McAllister and I started a production group called Mr. Ali with live instrumentation. When I left that and started Sophisticado I wanted to take it even further.  I wanted to go deeper. Not just house music, I wanted to do broken beat, afro beat, afro Cuban and jazz records but it all started with the Mr. Ali production group.

Black Widow:  What is your role as a DJ?

Vick Lavender: I may not be the right person to ask! (Laughter)

Black Widow: That’s exactly why I asked you! (Laughter)

Vick Lavender: Well…I’m a firm believer that the DJ sets the tone.  I don’t believe people that come to hear you set the tone. People that come to hear you come because you are you.  It’s not that I don’t care what the dancer thinks but I just think that I can make the dancer come to where I am.

Black Widow:  There are many who say, you have to read a room, know your crowd and play for your crowd.  Are you saying you don’t believe that?

Vick Lavender:  I don’t believe that at all. I believe the crowd has to know you.  If you think about it, Frankie (Knuckles) and Ron (Hardy) didn’t take requests.  They did what they thought was in the best interest of you dancing. Now…everyone doesn’t have that gift. So you have to know where your gift lies and your limitations. You have to know what you can and cannot do. I’ve always been this way. Even when people on the Southside (of Chicago) didn’t know who I was, people heard that I played a little bit left of what many people play. Thankfully, it’s worked out.

Black Widow: So, how do you navigate that? Especially in Chicago where we are so particular about what we like and what we want to hear? How do maintain who you are and still gain new fans?

Vick Lavender:   I grew up out west so I didn’t have anyone to pattern myself after. If you grew up south, you patterned yourself after Lewis, Frankie or Ron.  I was west so I wasn’t privy to those guys. When I started playing music, it was about playing what I loved. I tell people I don’t play stuff I like…I have to absolutely love it.  I fell into that not knowing that there was a protocol to follow.

Black Widow:  Was that a good thing for you?

Vick Lavender:  Oh absolutely! It was a great thing!  In the 90s, I would do a lot of loft parties in the Wicker Park area. That’s where I was able to find out who my crowd was, what I liked to play and such.  I was playing a lot of the newer stuff there.  I stopped playing disco in 1990. I gave all my disco records to Brian Reaves.  I told him he could have it because this stuff I was playing was the future. A lot of people thought I was crazy.  I was just tired of hearing it. There were so many forms of music.  You had the Jamiroquai explosion, Brand New Heavies,  Masters at Work, Blaze, Joe Clausell, DJ Spinna, and Keri Chandler. You had all these producers who were starting to do a soulful brand of music and that’s what I gravitated to.  I took what I was experimenting with to those loft parties in Wicker Park and they loved it!

Black Widow:   I’m going to assume you don’t really care for disco?

Vick Lavender:  No!  That’s one of the biggest misconceptions that people have about me.  It’s not that I don’t like disco, I don’t like the same 20 disco records being played. A lot of cats aren’t experimenting with different disco records.   That’s my issue with it. I like disco. I just can’t listen to the same thing all the time. 

Black Widow:  Oh ok…so you just like variety in musical selection?

Vick Lavender:  Right!  I can’t listen to any one genre of music all night. That's boring.   It has to be a healthy balance. That comes from the spirit of the DJ. You can’t go into a party saying I’m going to play 45 minutes of this and 45 minutes of that.  It has to be a feel.  You have to have a feel for when you transition.  I think all great DJs have different gears that they can shift to.  That’s why when you hear me play; you’ll never hear me play one form of music all night.  I may get to a point where I break it all the way down and play Summer Madness, Brand New Heavies or Jamiroquai.  That’s how you keep the party going in my opinion.

Black Widow:   I literally interviewed another DJ who said the very same thing.

Vick Lavender:  See... those DJs are music lovers.   There’s a difference.   You have music lovers who are DJs and then you have DJs.  DJs subscribe to a formula.  They know what's going to work and what's not going to work.    Music Lovers who are DJs really go to uncharted waters because they don’t if it’s going to work but they don’t give a shit because it’s about the love of music.  If you are a good selector, when you shift gears, you can't go wrong.

Black Widow:  So do you think you take more risks?

Vick Lavender:  Some would say that but I don’t think that’s it. I think it’s just being true to what I do. I play music, I make music and I love what I do. When you love something, you’ll always feed it and please it.  I’m always trying to please the music lover in me and sometimes it takes me off the beaten path.   If that’s where I have to go then so be it. I never go into a gig with a formula…ever!  It’s always a free form.

Black Widow:  You are playing again at the Summer Oasis Music Festival.  What makes Summer Oasis so unique and special? 

Vick Lavender:  It’s like a Woodstock. It’s outdoors and you are in nature. People are camping and out there 24 hours for 3 days straight.  Then when you add the music is makes it a 3 day excursion…a nonstop party.

Black Widow: Yes, I'll be one of them out in nature for 3 whole days. I've never done this before!

Vick Lavender:  Trust me, you won’t be alone.   Once the music stops around 2am, people are still partying in their tents until 5 in the morning. It goes down like that.

Black Widow: Oh wow! Cool!  What do you love most about playing Summer Oasis?

Vick Lavender: I love playing for people who appreciate it.  They get it.

Black Widow:  What does the future hold for Vick Lavender? What do you want to accomplish this year?

Vick Lavender:   I will be on the road a lot more.  I’ll be in South African and Italy. I have a lot of music I'm working on as well.  I'm working on Spike Rebels project.   I’m also working on a project with singer, Angel-A. There are quite a few remix projects in the works too and I’m really focusing on vinyl now more than digital.

Black Widow:  Oh really?   Why is that?

Vick Lavender:   Digital depreciates the minute you put it out.  With vinyl it has a longer lifespan and impact.  I still put out digital.  I wouldn’t have an issue putting out my stuff on digital if people respected it and didn’t just rip it off and pass it around.

Black Widow:  As an artist, I totally get it.

Vick Lavender:    When someone pays $16 to $17 for vinyl, they are less likely to just give it away, you know what I mean? 

Black Widow:   Ha! True! Thanks you so much for speaking with me and I’m looking forward to hearing you play at my 1st Summer Oasis Music Festival!

Vick Lavender:  My pleasure! Thank you and see you there!

You can find Vick Lavender and his music at the following:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/biz/Vick-Lavender-66215036176/ https://www.mixcloud.com/vick-lavender/stream/ https://www.traxsource.com/artist/4665/vick-lavender https://www.beatport.com/artist/vick-lavender/26025 https://soundcloud.com/vick-lavender

I hope you enjoyed this interview with one of the Summer Oasis Festival DJs.  Look forward to more interviews and articles as our Summer Oasis special blog series continues!!!

As always, 

See you at the Summer Oasis Festival

Black Widow

 For more information on the Summer Music Festival check out their website www.summermusicoasisfestival.com

[wayneooverton]

12 of the most charming spots in Ireland

This summer I took my parents to Ireland on their dream trip, and little did I know that it would quickly turn into my dream trip too. What a delightful surprise!

It didn’t take long for the charming towns, cute houses, quaint countrysides and beautiful landscapes to win me over. I mean, Ireland had everything I didn’t know I wanted!

22 photos to inspire you to visit Ireland

From adorable seaside towns to lovely B&B’s to old houses (not in Paris) covered in vines to charming cafes where you can squirrel away in on a rainy day, Ireland has no shortage of charming locals and haunts. I have found the more and more I travel over the years, the more I look out for places that feel comfortable and homey, places I almost could imagine myself living in. Now who do I have to marry to get a castle in Ireland?

Oh and I’m saving Northern Ireland for another day because I have too much to say on it to fit it in here too.

Here are my picks for the 12 most charming spots to visit in Ireland – enjoy!

1. Cobh

Cobh was a happy surprise, and it turned out to be one of the most charming spots on my trip to Ireland. It wasn’t a place I was planning to visit or was even on my radar. I was staying nearby outside Kinsale with my family, and was looking for a nice place to visit for sunrise, saw it on the map, and thought,hey, I’d give it a shot.

The seaside town of Cobh (pronounced ‘Cove’), is pretty much the cutest place ever, full of bright colors and charm. The last port of call for the Titanic, it oozes charm, especially in the early morning before anyone else is awake.

If you want it all, the setting, the history, the charm, check out Cobh.

2. Muckross House in Killarney

Killarney is definitely really well-known on the Irish tourist trail, something that I usually give a miss on when I’m on the road, preferring to get a little more off the beaten path. And while we skipped staying here on this trip, I really wanted to show my parents the Muckross House and Gardens because I knew they’d really enjoy it.

Especially as you can get around in jaunting cars (horse and carriages) which was great for my older parents who aren’t really up for big walks and heavy adventures.

I actually liked Muckross so much I came back twice!

3. Kinsale

We spent my birthday in Kinsale, and it definitely was a great choice to ring in 29 years. A little town on the south coast of Ireland, it’s super cute and when I discovered the most adorable Airbnb in all of Ireland on my search for places to stay, I knew we’d have to come here.

Kinsale is full of quirky shops, cozy pubs, really REALLY good restaurants (Finns’ Table for my bday dinner – AMAZING), artsy corners, colorful streets and a lovely harbor.

Adorable Airbnb in Myrtleville outside Kinsale

4. Dingle Peninsula

What can I say about Dingle? Let’s start with delightful. Even though our day trip out to Dingle started off rocky (let’s say a 20 minute screaming fight with my parents in the tiny car – guys, traveling with your parents is SO HARD), it still ended up being one of my favorite places we visited – if only because Dingle is so damn cute!

Colorful buildings, moody atmosphere, fishing vibes, knit sweaters and little chocolate shops and cafes to hide away in, Dingle really had it all.

Definitely grab a coffee at Bean in Dingle, it was amazing!

5. Dunbrody House

Pretty much the main reason for choosing Ireland was that my parent’s are huge fans of Kevin Dundon, an Irish celebrity chef. They have been following him for years and he was a huge inspiration for getting them to travel, not me haha.

Oh the irony.

So we knew that we would want to stay at Dunbrody House, his luxury small hotel on the Hook Peninsula on the south coast of Ireland. It’s the kind of place where you want to curl up with a book and a pint all day. And lucky for us, my parents were even able to meet Kevin while we were there, a total dream come from true!

6. Wicklow and Glendalough

Wicklow National Park was one of the few places I had actually been before in Ireland, way back when on a blog trip in 2013, though the weather was so bad you couldn’t see two feet in front of you. I was so excited to head back here again.

I reckon Wicklow is one of Ireland’s best-kept secrets. A wild and desolate landscape, it’s truly stunning and really felt like we had the place to ourselves.

The monastic remains at Glendalough are exactly what you picture when you imagine Ireland.

7. Powerscourt Estate

As we made our way out of Dublin, the first stop on our trip was to Powerscourt Estate. I’m such a sucker for big historical houses and castles, especially ones with great gardens so I knew I’d love it here.

The tea room is the perfect spot for lunch in the sunshine followed up by a long stroll amongst the gardens; honestly Ireland in the spring is so lovely.

8. Galway

I’ve never been much of a city girl but Galway definitely stole our hearts in Ireland. Colorful pubs and rowdy music meets historical buildings gives Galway a funky bohemian vibe, that oddly enough, my parents loved.

Smack in the middle of the Wild Atlantic Way, Galway makes you want to be out and about, taking it all in.

It’s old and charming and lively, where old meets new.

9. Ring of Kerry

I feel like a road trip in Ireland without driving the Ring of Kerry would be incomplete.

A 179 kilometer long circular route along the Iveragh Peninsula (good luck pronouncing that, guys) this is the part of Ireland where if you don’t pay close attention, you might not catch what people are saying. In English.

There are incredible beaches, even more incredible cliffs (I liked the Kerry Cliffs better than the Cliffs of Moher), adorable little towns and great views just about anywhere. Definitely worth exploring.

10. Connemara

My favorite bit of Irish countryside might have to be around Connemara, a stunning region in County Galway on the west coast and the Wild Atlantic Way.

Up here feels wild and empty, vast skies and lots of sheep, great views and big mountains that are dotted with little cute spots waiting to be explored, and everything transected by stone walls and lots of bogs.

We headed up here so I could finally check out the super famous Kylemore Abbey, probably one of the most photographed places in Ireland. I was really disappointed to arrive and see that the whole thing was pretty much covered in scaffolding, and it was absolutely heaving with tourists. Where did they all come from? Luckily the surrounding views and the drive all through Connemara made up for it.

I’ll be back for you, Kylemore. And I’ll definitely be back to Connemara for a longer trip.

11. Tintern Abbey

Man, there is just something so iconically Irish about the ruins of some beautiful historic abbey or castle surrounded by lush greenery, at one with nature. Or perhaps being taken over by nature.

In any case, you will find no shortage of spots like that in Ireland. By the end of the trip, my parents were absolutely fed up with me dragging them to places like this.

Tintern Abbey was definitely one of those spots. Hidden away in County Wexford on the Hook Peninsula, founded in the 13th century, it’s mostly in ruins these days and a lovely spot to wander around, and their tea room is quaint and cozy on a rainy day.

12. Ashford Castle

The castle to end all castles without a doubt has to be Ashford Castle, Ireland’s greatest castle hotel.

Nothing but charm, Ashford Castle is a highlight for most on a trip to Ireland. One of the best luxury experiences in the world, if you’re ready to indulge, do it here. And situated next the adorable village of Cong (from the movie The Quiet Man, remember?) its setting couldn’t be more picturesque.

Have you been to Ireland before? What’s the most charming place you’ve ever traveled to? Share!

The post 12 of the most charming spots in Ireland appeared first on Young Adventuress.

from Young Adventuress http://ift.tt/2k5Tyv8

[algarvesup]

Each year the Algarve SUP team ventures out into the unknown for a week (or more) of pure adventuring by stand up paddle. In 2016 we plunged into the depths of Portugal and explored the River Zezere and the River Tejo for 9 exciting days. I documented it on video (which you can see below in a YouTube playlist) and I wrote up a fairly long winded tale about it.

Let me know in the comments if you want me to write more?

Notes from the Zezere SUP Adventure

A 9 day SUP adventure paddleboarding down the rivers of Central Portugal

Planning any kind of paddleboarding trip is half the fun for me. Pouring over maps, visualizing potential conditions, dreaming of the dewy dawns that could call in a new day. All that is hugely exciting. It can also get frustrating due to unforeseen constraints coming to light. That is where I was two days before the #DouroSup. In true modern tradition I had even hashtagged the journey #douroSUP. The caps were printed, the vests were laid out crisply on my bed, all the kit was present and accounted for… all branded with our trip to come: “The Douro SUP”.

A friend who operates a Sup school in central Portugal, helpfully posted on Facebook: “we tried to descend the Douro River last year but ended up not going due to regulations”. What? I messaged him and got the full story. Apparently if we didn’t apply for a licence (which requires you to have an accompanying motorized boat) then we have the wonderful opportunity of being fined anywhere from €500 to €7,400!

FRIDAY (three days to go)

I drove down to the beach that Friday morning and had a chat with Mauro (who paddled the Algarve with Spike Reid and myself last year). He was on lifeguard duty and he called the Douro River Capitania while we were sitting in the sand, observing some lazy swimmers. The Capitania is the maritime authority responsible for law and order on the Douro River. They told us in a derisive tone that there was NO WAY we would get a licence without a support boat and without the 30 day waiting period. A change of plan was in the offing.

That Friday afternoon, I quickly built a back up plan, however I decided to wait until the team was together in Porto before coming to a final decision as to our exact route. We could either carry on with paddling the Douro (a little awkward now that we knew it was illegal) or proceed with Plan B…

I looked at the equipment laid out neatly on my lounge floor.  It was all there. All there except for one important item: One sparkling jewel in our expedition’s crown was still winding it’s way through the meandering processes of public postage. Amazon had assured me that it was on its way and would arrive on time before we left to join the rest of the crew up in Porto.

Thankfully it arrived that afternoon.

This little device was a brilliant tracking system but I was really disappointed with the online mapping service that the company provided. I searched online and spoke to some adventurous friends. A chap called Tedde de Boer had developed an amazing map that plugged into the Spot device’s data feed. It was called Follow My Challenge and the output was a perfectly designed expedition map. Initially I thought there were only two costs involved: the device (about €120) and Tedde’s FollowMyChallenge service (€75 for two weeks). On arrival in Porto as I was setting up the funky little orange tracker I realized that I would have to activate it for a further €140 a year! This unforeseen extra payment just sent the total cost over the edge for me. To be honest I didn’t feel that paying €300 odd euros for tracking was worth it. It could well be if I had prepared a lot more and garnered funding for the trip. However my attitude was that this was an adventure and we’d try to limit a lot of planning and rely on our own  abilities to pitch, pivot and proceed as opportunity arose.

It was Friday evening and things started to fall in place as others fell apart. Mauro, our young SUP instructor realized he couldn’t make it at the last minute as he had some other urgent commitments. Thankfully my brother, Andrew, flew in from the UK perfectly on schedule. I nipped down to pick him up from the airport.

I had time for a quick Friday afternoon beer with a mate, before picking up the vests and caps which were all hashtagged “#dourosup”. Mmm, that may well turn out to be “#notthedouro”!

It was fantastic to see my brother again and we caught up over a delicious meal at home that my wife had prepared. The rest of that Friday night was spent packing and repacking our massive blue Jobe dry bags. Exhausted, I dropped into bed close to 2am. Our 04h30 alarm didn’t feel that far off.

SATURDAY (two days to go)

Saturday morning dawned crisp and clear as we headed down to Loulé station courtesy of Uber. It was pretty exciting as that was the very first time I had taken an Uber from my house. After using it in Cape Town and London, Uber has just launched in the Algarve and it’s fantastic to have this excellent service available to us. Things WERE falling into place perfectly.

Porto was a six hour train ride away and Andrew and I settled into our seats opposite a woman who seemed strangely familiar. I fell asleep and awoke a few hours later with my brother chatting to her. It turns out that she was a yoga instructor from the Algarve and good friends with a friend of mine. How cool! She pointed us in the right direction on arrival at Porto station and we lugged our heavy kit over to the Metro. Snaking our way over to the beach we arrived at Onda Pura Surf School eventually, having stopped for a quick bite of lunch on the way.

Our boards were sponsored by Starboard and that was interesting in it’s own right. A week before they were supposed to be shipped, we were under the impression that RED Paddle Co was sponsoring us. Due to the overwhelming popularity of RED Paddle boards, when the time came to ship our expedition boards out to Portugal they were completely sold out. Luckily the guys at RED are a great bunch and also happen to be the UK distributors for Starboard. Five Starboards winged their way over to Portugal and arrived in record time, 24 hours before we arrived to unpack them.

The boards were shipped to SUP Norte who organize wonderful stand up paddle tours around the Douro River and the surrounds of Porto as well as selling a lot of stand up paddle kit. Nuno offered to receive the boards for us and he was super helpful. We didn’t get to meet him when we arrived in Porto to pick up the boards but I had met him before on one of his sales trips to the Algarve. We couldn’t have done without his cheerful logistical support.

Now all we were waiting for was for Tim and Nicky to arrive. They had flown into Porto from London and .. what was that? There they were, hovering over the parapet, waving at us. I introduced them to Andrew and we set about packing the boards into our kit. Within an hour we were ready to cart all the kit back into Porto and attempted to fit them (and us) into a little hostel room built for midgets. Nicky had thoughtfully booked the room and thankfully she HAD reserved it; apparently Porto was really full. It certainly was a small little spot but it turned out to be the best sleep I had had in ages, and the best sleep I would have for a while.

The four of us stowed our heavy bags and tripped into Porto center for what was intended to be a few sundowners. It turned into a wet and rainy dinner by the Douro where we discussed our options. No one was that keen to get into any potential problems with the police by paddling down the Douro. The decision was simple. Zezere River. I had mapped out our starting point and that was our new mission for Sunday. So how would you get four large people and four massive bags 230km into the depths of deepest Portugal?

SUNDAY (one day to go)

Our original thought was to head over to Europcar, the closest car hire firm that was open on a Sunday and persuade them to let us have a car. We would then navigate our way to Cambas in the Castelo Branco District, drop all the kit and half of us off and return the car to the nearest drop off center. From that centre (probably Coimbra) we would have to try and get back to Cambas by bus or taxi. However as we arrived at the Europcar shop, after a long 5km walk through Porto, Nicky fished out the card of the Uber driver who had delivered us home the night before. I called him up and he was willing to drive us all the way down to Cambas. Jackpot! It would probably be a lot cheaper and a lot easier than the original plan (plus Europcar was looking REALLY full with a queue stretching far out of the door onto the street).

It was a long, uncomfortable trip sitting with large bags on our laps and three fairly large people in the back of a C-series Merc. Two and a half hours later we arrived in the idyllic little village of Cambas. It blew me away. It truly was a perfect little town nestled in a bend of the river, surrounded by hills and tucked away in a lush river valley. Our launch spot was thick with soft grass, shady willow trees and calm water lapping away at the banks. Honestly, it was straight out of the “Wind in the Willows”. I was beyond excited and couldn’t wait to unpack all the boards, pump them up and set off on our journey. One more problem had to be rapidly dealt with though, I had left my phone in the car and it was now driving back to Porto. We called both the driver and my phone but we couldn’t get any reception and he didn’t or couldn’t answer. Minutes later the black Mercedes rolled up and Nelson got out with a grin, handing me back my phone. I should have hugged him!

Launching onto the placid waters of the Zezere felt exhilarating. The culmination of a summer’s dreams all flowed into my stroke as I thrust my carbon blade deep into the dark waters. I had longed for this all year. Countless clients had endured my chattering about the Trans Algarve trip of 2015 and the Douro SUP of 2016. Hey, so this adventure didn’t pan out exactly as I had planned but THAT right there is one of the core truths about a pure adventure. If everything goes to plan it just ain’t right.

I often muse over the word “adventure” and what it means to various people. I define it as a non-motorized trip from A to B that involves a fair amount of physical endeavour. A good adventure almost always features unknown perils, that when looking back on it, elicits a chuckle.  When you’re striving your way through a rough patch with an unknown outcome, well that doesn’t seem so much fun at the time.

We portaged over the first obstacle a few hundred metres in. The weir wasn’t unexpected, but it was a whole lot larger than the smudged little line on Google’s satellite view. Technology helps a huge amount but it still can’t fully prepare you for the exact feeling of being out there, experiencing the real world. I’m pretty sure if we had high resolution paper maps, it would have been much easier. Naturally the bonus about this trip was that we had near constant internet coverage all the way down our two rivers, and that little blue spot, pulsing away our location did help at times.

I looked over my shoulder at Andrew, Tim and Nicky struggling through the rocky rapids. I glanced at the weir, now a distant sheet of water slipping over concrete. The going was slow and we tripped and slid our way into deeper waters, coming across one other weir-like rock formation before being able to stand up and paddle confidently through deeper water again. Gliding past a taciturn fisherman, I enquired if the fishing was good. No smile and a shrug. The banks slipped past and we turned our attention to the night ahead. Camp selection time. This was to become a nightly ritual and we soon slipped into the inevitable hunt for a cosy, albeit temporary, home. Our first night riverside was to be on a bend where clearly the locals came to fish. Sardine cans, bait tins and dollops of white toilet paper were strewn all over the place. We cleaned up the area and muttered to each other how little respect the locals had for their very own environment. Too sad. It was going to be a recurring theme along the river: litter.

The first night was always going to be a little different, sorting out the places in your dry bag where you kept what, figuring out the best way to store stuff, but one soon got into the rhythm of it. We exchanged kit tips and by the time the end of the trip had come, we had discovered three must haves.

The comfiest mattress you can find. We weren’t hiking here, so weight isn’t really a huge issue. Get a good night’s rest on a comfortable blow up mattress.

A groundsheet to unpack your dry bag onto every night.

Some say a tent is better than a bivvy bag. I don’t buy it, to be honest. I love my bivvy bag, but I could do with a bigger sleeping bag.

One of THE most important items, not mentioned above is a party pack of red wine. How can you not sit next to a campfire snacking on rough sardines and even rougher local hunks of bread without washing it down with a mug of red wine. I shouldn’t even have to mention it! The fire died, we retired and I marvelled at the carpet of light that the heavens rolled out. It was exactly what wild camping is all about. Pure peace.

MONDAY (day one)

I guess many people were riding the concrete highways of the world into work as we stirred on this particular Monday morning. Tendrils of mist clung to the Zezere while light zephyrs of wind tugged and played with them. The coffee was on, the porridge was hot and we were slowly ridding ourselves of the effects of a long night out in the bush.

We packed up camp and headed downstream through the glassy waters. A town appeared on the right a few kilometres further on and we knew we had to resupply. We needed the basics like bread, cheese and water as we hadn’t had time to do a proper shop before setting out. It had been a whirlwind trip through Porto and down to Cambas. All of us were confident that the river-side villages would have at least one shop and if not, one often reads about friendly locals inviting you into their homes and fattening you up.

There was no shop in this village though. A super friendly old one toothed man kindly offered us his rainwater that he had collected off his roof. He sucked on his old brown tooth as he looked at us with kind eyes and mumbled on in Portuguese. His wife had a permanent look of complete shock on her face as we walk passed her and greeted her: “Bom dia, senhora”. She eventually summoned the courage to return the favour and turned back to pulling a tree trunk across the road. It wasn’t a big tree but nonetheless we dutifully asked her if she needed help. She waved us off and we played with her cute little dog called “Viana”.

I asked the old man where the shop was? No shop. I asked him where we could buy cheese, ham and bread. Shrug. We were just about to give up and head back down the steep road to the river when a huge honking echoed off the walls of the old, quiet walls. With a flurry of action what appeared to be a mobile shop screeched into town and out jumped two super animated men. They opened their flashy white van and showed us all their wares: rich wheels of cheese, fresh meats, great hunks of bread, tins of sardines and water (that didn’t taste like roof!). It was paradise. We filled up on supplies and headed back down wondering why on earth the old man couldn’t have suggested we wait around for the mobile shop to arrive. The answer was perfectly simple, because we didn’t ask him!

With our provisions bolstered, we headed back down the steep hill towards Tim and the Starboards. Soon enough we were stroking out through the watery glass, through the Zezere River valley. We paddled past a team of fishermen that looked like they had stepped out of the Discovery channel. The equipment they had brought down was astonishing. We hailed them and slipped on down the river towards our destination. Lisbon occasionally popped into my head with the thought that it was rather a long way off (250kms away) and it was not very likely that we would even get there. Anything could happen in the next week that could stop us from achieving our goal, so normally I just pushed the thought of reaching Lisbon out of my head and concentrated on what was around me. It wasn’t hard, there was so much going on and so much to think about. Occasionally the thought of Lisbon popped back into my head and I dramatised it hugely, creating a mythical city of towering buildings and a golden glow emanating from the streets of prosperity. Our “Holy Grail”.

“Nick. Nick!”

I glanced over at Andrew. “Is this Álvaro?” It certainly was and we floated under the bridge in still, glassy conditions. I was amazed the wind hadn’t come up yet, but normally the afternoons brought the wind. We beached our boards in front of a fake, floating swimming pool and headed up towards what looked gloriously like a riverside cafe. Our only hope was, “was it open?”

We were so deep in the countryside that it wasn’t often that we saw any form of civilisation. It may seem like there were places all around us, but I’m only relating the built up bits. There were hours and hours of just forest and water and hardly any visible habitation. Occasionally a little hamlet would pop up, high on the hillside, but not much civilisation was situated down next to the river. It makes sense if you think about it, as the river is not really a means of transportation (although clearly it was for us). Hamlets, villages and cities rely on communication and infrastructure.  Roads provide the links with the rest of civilisation, not the River Zezere.

The restaurant above the pool at Álvaro WAS open. We ordered some ice cold beers to assuage the rapidly heating day and asked about lunch. “No no”. The Portuguese finger waggled. “No, no, you need to order the day before”. I honestly tried to hide my disappointment as we were all super hungry. I felt like I was becoming “hangry” too. I forced a smile and asked him if he had any bread. No.

I returned to relate the story to the team, as none of them spoke any Portuguese. We were pretty down heartened, but then old finger wagger strode over and announced that if we had time, he could defrost and barbeque a chicken for us. Incredible! We were so happy. A Portuguese chicken lunch is good at the best of times, but when you have been paddling all morning it’s a super special treat. We finished off the rest of our beers and set off up the hill in search of a shop that the waiter had directed us to. “We’re coming back!” we called to him as we trundled out the restaurant and up the hill.

The village of Álvaro is a beauty. Its arranged delicately on the spine of a spur which juts directly into the Zezere. We only realised that this was a part of the famous (to me) “Aldeias do Xisto”. This is a name given to a group of villages in central Portugal that are mainly constructed with slate stone walls. We were to come across another one of these 27 villages on the next day of our journey.

Puffing up the main (and possibly the only) street, we came across another restaurant. Upon asking the proprietor if she knew where a shop was, she shook her head.

“No. No. No shops here.”

I told her that the waiter down near the river had said there was definitely one in the village.

“No. No.”

She shook her head again and wagged her finger. I felt a little exasperated and decided on a different tack. “Do you know where we can buy some bread and cheese?”

“Oh, sure”, she said, Follow me.” We did. She led us into her back room which was bedecked with all kinds of juicy delights to eat and drink. A cash register sat on a table along with some plastic shopping bags. We started blankly at each other. “Isn’t this a shop I asked her?”

“No.No. This is a mercearia!”

Back on the river, slightly heavier with supplies, we braced ourselves as another heavy gust belted down the river, straight into our faces. The water whipped itself up as the gust shifted smartly past us. The only thing to do was put your head down and get on with it. Rounding the next bend, we had the glorious sensation of feeling the wind back up and hurl us down the next straight towards another bend, and another upwind stretch. We did this all afternoon before the light started to fade and the evening search for a camp site commenced.  It’s tough because as you paddle past a place which looks good, the thought enters your head, “What if there is a better one up ahead” and simultaneously, “What if there are no more suitable camp sites?”

Nicky spotted the perfect stone terrace which had created a beautiful flat area sparsely covered with old, dead, black wattles. The access was steep and tricky but we managed without twisting ankles or any other type of injury. Boards were secured, kit laid out in the sleeping area and a communal fire place was built. Once that was all done, we decided to take advantage of the warm evening light and grab a quick wash in the river. Thankfully Andrew had bought some ecological soap with and we set about washing ourselves. Tim and Nicky followed afterwards and soon we were sitting around, chatting aloud and sipping on good red wine as the remains of dinner lay beside us. It’s a fantastic feeling: physically tired, clean and full with a little buzz from the wine. We listened and talked into the night and eventually lay down to let sleep renew us for the day ahead. It promised to be a tough one.

Zezere 2016 SUP Adventure photos

Here are some more shots from the rest of the paddleboarding trip, which was an exhausting 9 day paddle.

Line astern down the Zêzere River

SUP adventure break time

Moving through cool rock formations on the Zêzere River

Day three morning on our sup adventure

Perfect conditions for a sup adventure

Another camps site, possibly the best one!

Gliding past old Portuguese castles: Castelo Almourol

Sundown is the best time on sup adventure – without doubt!

Let me know in the comments if you want me to write more?

SUP Adventure in Portugal Each year the Algarve SUP team ventures out into the unknown for a week (or more) of pure adventuring by stand up paddle.