#HOWMEVER. give me my boy

[reikunrei]

let it be henry let it be henry oh please let it open with henry

[livenudebigfoot]

hospital au + I Didn’t Mean to Turn You On: finch/fusco

OH BOY ok

I weirdly have trouble imagining either one of them as a doctor doctor. Finch just sort of operates at a remove from everything - he’s like an organizer who only gets his hands dirty when he has to - while Fusco is like...med school?? him?? He does have big EMT energy howmever.

And then I found the ideal landing space, which is physical therapy.

So Harold Finch...we’ll say like a pre-canon, post-explosion Finch. He’s full of grief, he’s got big plans, he’s scoping out a weirdo for hire to join him in his quest, but before he can defeat premeditated crime in NYC, he must defeat Rehab.

While attending physical therapy, he meets Lionel Fusco, Earth’s most bastardly physical therapist. He is gruff. He is uncouth. He keeps bestowing friendly-yet-oddly-cutting nicknames on Finch. He just generally throws Finch for a loop, socially speaking. This is not the kind of person Finch would choose to talk to, but he’s getting all up in Finch’s business while Finch is at his most vulnerable and Finch Does Not Enjoy It.

Meanwhile Fusco’s like “man this guy is a piece of work” because a) Finch is kind of a snot and b) he’s like the most locked down human being Fusco’s ever met. Very suppressed, very tightly controlled, extremely reticent to describe his own pain, and every time Finch describes how he got injured or really anything about himself, Fusco’s internal lie detector starts going crazy.

I do want to maintain Fusco’s Shifty Past but I’m not sure if I want to come up with something new or if I want to roll with my immediate instinct, which is: Fusco’s backstory is the same except after his inciting bad cop incident, he was like, “Actually, fuck this,” quit the force, and he’s a physical therapist now shhhh don’t ask questions. If Carter can be a lawyer army interrogator cop in canon, Fusco can be a PT. 

Anyway, the process of PT is often really slow and frustrating and painful and Finch is just biting his tongue, absolutely miserable, but every time he even thinks of giving up, Fusco will just make this extremely friendly dig at him and it makes Finch stick it out a little longer. Fusco gives him massages and they’re incredibly painful most of the time but also Fusco’s hands are big and warm and calloused and he tells bizarre or hilarious stories while he’s rubbing Finch’s hip to take his mind off the pain. Finch has a partly water-based exercise routine to take pressure off his joints and it makes him feel weightless and free, and also sometimes Lionel gets in the pool with him to correct his form and uhhhhhhhhh: wet.

and eventually Finch is like “oh good god i have a crush on my physical therapist. how inappropriate of me.”

and meanwhile Fusco is increasingly compelled by Finch, because he’s thawing a little and when Fusco tells a joke, he does a tiiiiny secret smile, but also he’s clearly carrying this massive emotional weight and he’s driven by a form of determination that Fusco can’t begin to understand and he doesn’t trust anybody but he’s learning to trust Fusco, bit by bit, and Fusco really wants to be worthy of that trust.

and Fusco’s like “ah fuck, i’m getting attached”

and they’re both just trying to be regular about it, for each other’s sake, and carry on like everything’s normal but Finch has to consciously stop himself from admitting to his own baseball preferences when Fusco slams his home team and Fusco is distracted by physical contact in a way he isn’t usually and Finch is like incredibly touch-starved and very pro-massage all of a sudden.

Fusco starts calling Finch at night to remind him to do his exercises before bed and Finch is like “i am a grown man you are not the boss of me” but he never misses it, and Fusco never misses a call, even though Finch goes to bed crazy late. 

And then...Fusco’s number comes up. Because Stills and Other HR Dudes are displeased with him. Maybe he Knows Too Much about a thing and they’re willing to off him to stop him from telling what he knows, but Fusco still thinks there’s some kind of loyalty there and is in denial about the danger he’s potentially in. Finch has to save him! But he doesn’t want to tell Fusco about the Machine and also he’s VERY physically vulnerable and has not yet recruited a Weird Assassin to do his bidding. Finch initially tries to manipulate Fusco into being safe before finally learning that Fusco trusts him and it’s easier to just be honest. Lionel learns that Finch is a) weirder than he thought and b) fonder of him than he imagined. They defeat the corrupt cops. They do a kiss. Finch has to get a new physical therapist because it’s weird now, but Fusco still gives him massages on like a casual relationship basis.

anyway i don’t have a crush on my physical therapist, you have a crush on my physical therapist

[balkantaliacrack]

Balkans as jacksfilms tweets

Slovenia: "Next time someone says "however," please correct them by raising your finger, clicking your tongue, and saying, "HOWMever""

Croatia: "How do I get a mansion sponsorship"

Serbia: "YES THIS COUNTS DRINK"

Macedonia: "So today I learned that sarcasm is very hard to convey, even on video"

Bosnia: "Just screamed SUCKS TO SUCK at a spider I killed, which means today's gonna be a rager"

Herzegovina​: "I did not know this was a spongebob quote/meme. I have seen a total of 2 full episodes of that show in my lifetime. I apologize for appearing to capitalize on a popular quote, when in actuality I had never heard of it"

Montenegro: "I'm calling it. Wake me up in 11 months"

Greece: "It's important to share your dreams, but literally no one gives a shit about your "I was in my old middle school science class but it was also my high school, you know? And you were there but you had Becky's face and then my teeth fell out while I ran in slow motion" dreams"

Bulgaria: "Everyone you have ever known and will ever know has said "MY WIIIIFE" in a Borat voice"

Romania ":notes: the bOyS are back in town :notes:"

Moldova: "YouTubers are like people but worse"

Turkey: "My first video of 2018 will be a cry for help"

By @dedo-dimitri brought to you by mun burenka

[emilywatchescursedshow]

Spn Season 1 Review

Hoboy

First, the live blogs of the last 4 episodes were done in a haze of jetlag depression so were less specific to what was actually happening in the episodes than normal and contained no extraneous information. HOWMEVER. I will get into those episodes more in this recap because:

1. I do not feel like the season really Led Up to this finale. Part of that could be because I took a bit of a break halfway through, but I think also the groundwork for the Sam/John parallel they tell us about was not really set up in previous episodes. 2. I think that the characterization of the brothers and their relationship to John is really Interesting in these episodes and the drama of that is a big part of the show as a whole, so the last several episodes are pretty relevant here.

THEMING The theme of season 1 is more or less: family. How do you handle family trauma and loss? How do you as a parent protect your children vs let them have independent lives (or just suck major ass)? To what extent is your family holding you back? Etc. The two sort of relationship dynamics this plays in is the Sam/Dean dynamic and the John/sons dynamic.

DEAN Dean’s characterization through this theme remains pretty consistent: he wants to be with his family. He showed up to get Sam at the beginning of the season, and he wants to keep them all alive at the end of the season instead of sacrificing John to kill the demon. The irony is that the season ends with them all “dying” (I know they’re not dead, but right now that’s what the show wants us to believe) and Dean’s insistence on family unity is what ends up getting them all killed.

Dean’s story line throughout has been one of responsibility assumed too early. After their mom died, his dad basically made him co-parent. Dean had to give up his ambitions to bend to his dad’s wishes while also trying to protect Sam from John and various monsters. It makes sense for him, given that backstory, that keeping the family together is his highest priority: he has been forced to give up all sense of self to keep his family safe, so if they die then he literally has nothing. I think it’s interesting that Dean is the only one of him or Sam who actually knew their mother, and yet Sam is the one who gets a mother-relevant character arc.

That might be because of the next aspect of Dean’s character we see: he likes to have sex with women. I tend to be pretty sensitive to misogyny/mistreatment of women on screen, so either I’ve lost my mind or I’m already watching this show through a very queer lens because Dean’s treatment of women throughout the season Did Not Bother Me. The only thing that really rang sour was at the beginning of Provenance when Dean is lying to women about his job to get into bed with them, but even then, like, eh? The whole scene (and all the other such scenes) are depicted with a lightheartedness that is hard to read malice into, and Jackles plays that part with such a wide-eyed “Wow! I get to have sex now!” that it’s hard not to feel anything but happy for the guy. I do suspect that Dean is supposed to be characterized as “treating women like whores/expendable” and so does not have an attachment to his mother in this season because he’s not allowed to have a complex relationship with a woman.

SAM Uh boy. So Sam’s arc begins with his girlfriend getting immolated - we learn later that Sam wanted to propose to her and so she was getting in the way of the demon’s plans for “kids like him.” Whatever that means - the show does not communicate its stakes to us AT ALL, more on that later. Sam gets some episodes of characterization throughout. The only two I can remember are the one with the abused psychic and the one where a woman decides she’s in love with him within seconds of meeting him. In neither episode to I really feel like I understand Sam as a character. We are told at various points that he really loved Jessica and her death has affected him greatly. At the beginning of the season, he dreams about it often, but these dreams end up being psychic in nature (I think?) and fall off by mid season. He doesn’t have a keepsake of hers to gaze at longingly or any other way of showing he’s having trouble letting go. Dean basically lets him off the leash to go kiss Sarah in Provenance, which he seems pretty happy to do and has no real guilt over after. Sam’s characterization is carried out very directly - we are told what he is feeling or had felt, instead of some combination of saying it via dialogue and reading it from his actions. I’ve mentioned that I don’t think Jarp is especially strong as an actor, but I have to chalk this up to both weaknesses in writing and acting because scenes that communicate Sam’s internal world are largely nonexistent IMO.

We are told that the connection between their mother’s death and Jess’s death has had a great impact on Sam. He believes that he is cursed so that the “people he loves” (read, women) will die. While in a broad sense this might be true as the demon does admit to have targeted Sam, the supposed “curse” is not really dealt with by Sam except as a barrier in his journey to move on from lost love. Jess’s death served as Sam’s call to adventure at the beginning of the season and should give some emotional connection to Sam’s continued commitment to hunting, but until the final episodes Sam’s involvement in the monster world is continually explained as “wants to find dad” and not “wants to break curse.” In these episodes, Sam’s Jess backstory comes back and we are told that his desire to kill the demon makes him “like John.” Which. Is. Stupid. Let me explain.

In terms of the theming, Sam’s wanting to kill the demon even though it might cost the lives of any number of the Winchesters makes sense because of his established relationship with his family. He wanted to have a normal life which alienated him from Dean and John. Sam has very negative memories of John, and has little brother blindness to the stuff Dean did for him growing up and is largely unhappy with Dean as well. Thus it is not surprising that to Sam, a Winchester dying is not as large a price to pay if it means that Sam gets to have a normal life.

HOWEVER. I am giving the show a LOT of credit here because they DO NOT make that connection, instead going for the stupid “Sam is like John” parallel which is treated almost like a surprise reveal. John’s reasons for killing the demon are NOT Sam’s reasons for killing the demon. John is motivated by revenge to an insane degree: it has consumed his life and the lives of both of his sons. Sam is not revenge motivated. He moves on from Jess’s death in literally THE EPISODE before the finale run starts. Sam is motivated by what he has always been motivated by: his desire for a normal life, including a wife who wont burst into flames. So on a thematic level, short-handing these character conflicts as “Sam is like John” (which is explicitly stated multiple times throughout these episodes) does not work because these characters are approaching family from a very different place even if they end up with the same goal.

I do want to mention that I think Sam’s backstory of wanting a normal life could have been set up better; the show does a good job with Dean’s “too much responsibility too young” child stand-in, but Sam does not get a “I just wanted to go to prom” child stand-in. Which I miss because that would be HILARIOUS. I think the issue the show has here with Sam is, in short, that Sam wanting to be normal is Very Boring, whereas the world of monsters and how Tortured and Jaded everyone is is much Sexier.

JOHN The text of the show is pretty unabashed about telling us things that John did that a reasonable audience member could interpret as being Very Bad. In the brief moments he has on the show, the dynamic between him and his sons is mixed. There are plenty of heartfelt family moments, and there are plenty of fights. I think the show is definitely weakest when it is following John by himself. I do not care about John except as he relates to Sam and Dean, and really if he is in any sort of danger I just want him to die based on how awful he is as a person, so the suspense does not swing the way the writers maybe wanted it to. 

I think the twist at the end, where Dean realizes the demon has possessed their dad because he’s acting nicer, just b a r e l y works based on what they’ve set up. Honestly, I think the real problem is that John Winchester’s actor does not, to me, read as having any onscreen charisma. In the altercations that he has with Sam, I don’t really feel a threat from him. There isn’t any explosive or destructive energy, just sort of “your mom is mad you ate the last of her ice cream” energy. I’ve literally BEEN a more intimidating fake drill sergeant than John Winchester and I’m 5 feet tall and 110 lbs. John has big sad wet dog energy. He can get mad, but not in a way that’s actually intimidating. Thus, him telling Dean that he’s proud is sort of like “yeah, I bet this milksop is proud or whatever” and not “wow I would have expected that character to be a lot more upset right now.” I get that family dynamics can be complicated and a parent can cause you Bone Pain with just a look that to anyone else would seem harmless, but this is a television show where things have to read on screen. One Look Bone Pain is a lot more nuanced to construct. I think John being Big Mean Drill Sergeant is what they’re trying for, but in my opinion he's mostly just annoying.

Anyway John sucks.

WHAT’S NOT THERE The above talks a lot about what *is* in the show vis. the family theme. But Emily, this is a monster show. What about the monsters? Well. What about them indeed.

This first season of Supernatural is very clearly referencing the tradition of The X-Files and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. A lot of former X-Files people are credited on the season and they mention BTVS by name in an episode that is clearly themed around season 6 Buffy villains. Howmever. Both TXF and BTVS have a very important thing that Supernatural does not. STAKES. And not just ones meant for vamps that then get ignored by SPNs stupid vamp lore voice over.

Both BTVS and TXF handle their monsters very differently. BTVS is a universe where the main character has been fully initiated into the world of monsters so that, throughout the course of the episode, it is reasonable for her to detail pretty specifically what the monster is and what it is capable of. On the other hand, the characters in TXF must always be kept on the edge of the monster world, getting faint glimpses here and there. Usually, Mulder has an expository scene giving information on “what is known” at the beginning of the episode and then further monstrosity is communicated to the audience via interstitial scenes that tell the audience what the monster is and where it’s going, introducing dramatic tension: AA NO SCULLY DON’T TOUCH THAT IT’S SUPER GROSS. Both avenues successfully communicate to the audience what the monsters are (approximately), what they can do, and what their motivations are. This means that in the climactic scene, the audience knows what the STAKES are. They know what might be lost of the main characters fail, they know what the characters need to overcome to succeed, and they know what the monster is trying to accomplish.

Now. Some of the MOTW episodes in Supernatural do communicate what the monster is and what it wants. Scarecrow and Bugs are two that come to mind that both do this. Tellingly, both of these episodes also seem very modeled on TXF (compare/contrast Bugs with the trash golem episode of TXF where Mulder hip thrusts after sticking a flamingo in the yard, essay for another time).

Home is the first Supernatural episode that I identified as being extremely plot-oriented after the pilot. It’s also the first episode after the pilot to give sole writing credit to Kripke. There are interstitial scenes wherein the audience sees spooky stuff happening. However, these scenes do not further the audience’s understanding of the monster - we already know the house is evil and trying to kill people, and that’s pretty much all those scenes show. Moreover, Sam and Dean do not learn more about the monster in the house during this episode; their arc is basically just “Wow, isn’t it strange that the house is spooky now? Our mom died here!” The resolution at the end is borderline incomprehensible and their mother just sort of. Appears. Out of nowhere and then vanishes again with very little emotional weight given to this occurrence later in the episode or in the next episode. My summary of Home was pretty much “I did not like this and don’t want to be mean.” I talked about how I like monsters in monster shows, whereas Supernatural is more of a soap opera.

And yeah, the finale of Supernatural (written by Kripke) basically follows that track as well. I don’t know what these demons are or what they want. I don’t know what they can do besides possess people. When Meg confronts people and talks all big it’s hard for me to take seriously because I don’t know what she wants or what she is capable of, except in that one scene where she wanted to fuck Sam which. gross!

This is what I mean by saying that Supernatural does not have stakes. When the choice between losing a family member verses not defeating the monster is posited, the only reason I as an audience member feel engaged is the family conflict that has been established. There is no tension about the monster because I just have to assume that it will do whatever the writers decide it should do. I’m not weighing the odds of the Winchesters winning, I’m just watching them point guns at each other and hoping for the best.

CONCLUSION Jensen Ackles does a good job of playing Dean and he should get an award especially for his performances in the last two episodes of the show. IMO, he basically carried the emotional weight of the conflict and really made us root for Sam to not shoot his dad which is HARD because of how badly John sucks. I’m going to keep watching this show because of Jensen Ackles playing Dean Winchester. Fight me about it.

I think season 1 of Supernatural felt like watching two different shows with the same main characters. On the one hand, you have the MOTW episodes which invariably begin with “Here’s why we’re not tracking down our dad, even though that’s our stated motivation” and then tell a nice monster mystery with some good character beats. On the other hand, you have the series arc episodes, which are soap operas with demonic elements. I’m fine with it - because of Jensen Ackles as Dean Winchester. I’m interested to see what season 2 is like.

[stupidsexyseguin]

before you posted about some of your favorite justifications for how people rated the players, have their been any new stand out justifications?

There are so many! half of the ones I’ve been showing you guys have just been excepts, because these justification rants can take some wild turns! here’s some long and (almost) unfiltered justifications for why people voted for tens because like every single bit of them is gold and cutting them down would be a crime tbh;

“Let’s just get the obvious out of the way and say Shea Weber (I’ve broken my pelvis before, and few experiences have sucked more than going through surgery and 5+ months of bedrest so everything could heal. However, I’d be cool with putting up with all of that bullshit again if the pelvis-breaking happened as a result of getting dick from Daddy Webs. Also, I’m sorry that I’m the way I am). Also, I’d take it any way any how from MY Captain, Claude Giroux (w/ or w/out the replacement tooth, because, honestly, idgaf), and on the topic of men with missing teeth I’d let demolish me, Alex Ovechkin has entered silver fox territory, and on top of that, I feel like, at any stage in his life, sex with Ovi would probably be one of the most life-changing, memorable, and surreal experiences one could have in their lifetime. Additionally: when will Kris Letang get traded so I can openly and shamelessly talk about how I’d let him hit it from the back. I also wanna throw in the fact that my No. 2 team is the Lightning, and I’d probably let half of their team raw me behind a Taco Bell dumpster (and like, not necessarily the hot half of the team either), but out of the whole TBL roster, Victor Hedman could choke me and then give some very bomb, gentle aftercare once the nasty had been done.” 

Jonathan toews based on the way his face looks deserves to be like a three howmever, I am absolutely in love with him and want to have two kids which we would raise in a modest home in the suburbs and we would have a fenced in backyard so our dogs could run freely and play with the kids and so based on the fact that I want him to father my children I’m gonna bump him up to a ten Maybe it’s because of my massive d*dd* kink but I would let Patrick sharp carve my heart out with a butter knife Gabe landeskog fucking duh, have you seen that pic where somebody photoshopped his eyebrows to be good????? I almost wore out my asterisk key w the tags on my reblog of that post Kevin fiala Idr if I already said Carey price but by god I would let him fucking kill me, there is almost nothing Carey price could say to me that would make me change my mind about how bad I want his dick Evgeni malkin and I truly don’t know why I guess it’s hoggles but like *** ** ***** Leon draisaitl…….. have u seen him, if anyone has him below a 9 gimme their address I just wanna talk I promise Taylor hall Zach the fucking snack werenski I want him to choke me to death with his thighs

first of all players who are 10/10 are a very different category to players i would let raw me behind a mcdonalds dumpster so keep that in mind - dylan strome can hit it literally anytime he wants including behind a mcdonalds dumpster im aware hes not a 10/10 but thems just the facts (also we all saw that video of him that demonstrates he’s very clearly Hung. tom wilson also could and would be down for a mcdonalds dumpster fuck and boy would i let him. listen i know this is already The Worst list of attractives players i could have compiled so im going to make it even worse by adding mitch marner to the list im aware hes not the most hot but hes gotten v muscular and im Here For It

tom wilson because have yoU SEEN THAT PICTURE OF HIM WINNING THE PULL UPS COMPETITION BOY OH BOY He could fucking gag me behind any dumpster for 6 hours and pull at my hair and deny me of an orgasm til i cry and fuck me raw and i’d thank him for it. scandy and i just want to say don’t @ me but he is just as daddy as tom is and he needs to spank me raw asap segs but only because of that fight, otherwise no he’s a ratboy and shouldn’t ever touch me or breathe within a 3m radius of me. chucky even when he’s bald. he could get it, bald. my sugar daddy drai$$$aitl 100% can raw me anywhere/everywhere any time he wants. i would do anything for this piece of ass. literally. with the black eye and all. and did u see his dick print today binch i’d hop on that so fucking fast colton parayko not because he’s really that hot but because he’s fucking huge and i want him to raw me while lifting me up with his pinky fingers