#HOWMEVER. give me my boy

[reikunrei]

let it be henry let it be henry oh please let it open with henry

[livenudebigfoot]

hospital au + I Didn’t Mean to Turn You On: finch/fusco

OH BOY ok

I weirdly have trouble imagining either one of them as a doctor doctor. Finch just sort of operates at a remove from everything - he’s like an organizer who only gets his hands dirty when he has to - while Fusco is like...med school?? him?? He does have big EMT energy howmever.

And then I found the ideal landing space, which is physical therapy.

So Harold Finch...we’ll say like a pre-canon, post-explosion Finch. He’s full of grief, he’s got big plans, he’s scoping out a weirdo for hire to join him in his quest, but before he can defeat premeditated crime in NYC, he must defeat Rehab.

While attending physical therapy, he meets Lionel Fusco, Earth’s most bastardly physical therapist. He is gruff. He is uncouth. He keeps bestowing friendly-yet-oddly-cutting nicknames on Finch. He just generally throws Finch for a loop, socially speaking. This is not the kind of person Finch would choose to talk to, but he’s getting all up in Finch’s business while Finch is at his most vulnerable and Finch Does Not Enjoy It.

Meanwhile Fusco’s like “man this guy is a piece of work” because a) Finch is kind of a snot and b) he’s like the most locked down human being Fusco’s ever met. Very suppressed, very tightly controlled, extremely reticent to describe his own pain, and every time Finch describes how he got injured or really anything about himself, Fusco’s internal lie detector starts going crazy.

I do want to maintain Fusco’s Shifty Past but I’m not sure if I want to come up with something new or if I want to roll with my immediate instinct, which is: Fusco’s backstory is the same except after his inciting bad cop incident, he was like, “Actually, fuck this,” quit the force, and he’s a physical therapist now shhhh don’t ask questions. If Carter can be a lawyer army interrogator cop in canon, Fusco can be a PT. 

Anyway, the process of PT is often really slow and frustrating and painful and Finch is just biting his tongue, absolutely miserable, but every time he even thinks of giving up, Fusco will just make this extremely friendly dig at him and it makes Finch stick it out a little longer. Fusco gives him massages and they’re incredibly painful most of the time but also Fusco’s hands are big and warm and calloused and he tells bizarre or hilarious stories while he’s rubbing Finch’s hip to take his mind off the pain. Finch has a partly water-based exercise routine to take pressure off his joints and it makes him feel weightless and free, and also sometimes Lionel gets in the pool with him to correct his form and uhhhhhhhhh: wet.

and eventually Finch is like “oh good god i have a crush on my physical therapist. how inappropriate of me.”

and meanwhile Fusco is increasingly compelled by Finch, because he’s thawing a little and when Fusco tells a joke, he does a tiiiiny secret smile, but also he’s clearly carrying this massive emotional weight and he’s driven by a form of determination that Fusco can’t begin to understand and he doesn’t trust anybody but he’s learning to trust Fusco, bit by bit, and Fusco really wants to be worthy of that trust.

and Fusco’s like “ah fuck, i’m getting attached”

and they’re both just trying to be regular about it, for each other’s sake, and carry on like everything’s normal but Finch has to consciously stop himself from admitting to his own baseball preferences when Fusco slams his home team and Fusco is distracted by physical contact in a way he isn’t usually and Finch is like incredibly touch-starved and very pro-massage all of a sudden.

Fusco starts calling Finch at night to remind him to do his exercises before bed and Finch is like “i am a grown man you are not the boss of me” but he never misses it, and Fusco never misses a call, even though Finch goes to bed crazy late. 

And then...Fusco’s number comes up. Because Stills and Other HR Dudes are displeased with him. Maybe he Knows Too Much about a thing and they’re willing to off him to stop him from telling what he knows, but Fusco still thinks there’s some kind of loyalty there and is in denial about the danger he’s potentially in. Finch has to save him! But he doesn’t want to tell Fusco about the Machine and also he’s VERY physically vulnerable and has not yet recruited a Weird Assassin to do his bidding. Finch initially tries to manipulate Fusco into being safe before finally learning that Fusco trusts him and it’s easier to just be honest. Lionel learns that Finch is a) weirder than he thought and b) fonder of him than he imagined. They defeat the corrupt cops. They do a kiss. Finch has to get a new physical therapist because it’s weird now, but Fusco still gives him massages on like a casual relationship basis.

anyway i don’t have a crush on my physical therapist, you have a crush on my physical therapist

[balkantaliacrack]

Balkans as jacksfilms tweets

Slovenia: "Next time someone says "however," please correct them by raising your finger, clicking your tongue, and saying, "HOWMever""

Croatia: "How do I get a mansion sponsorship"

Serbia: "YES THIS COUNTS DRINK"

Macedonia: "So today I learned that sarcasm is very hard to convey, even on video"

Bosnia: "Just screamed SUCKS TO SUCK at a spider I killed, which means today's gonna be a rager"

Herzegovina​: "I did not know this was a spongebob quote/meme. I have seen a total of 2 full episodes of that show in my lifetime. I apologize for appearing to capitalize on a popular quote, when in actuality I had never heard of it"

Montenegro: "I'm calling it. Wake me up in 11 months"

Greece: "It's important to share your dreams, but literally no one gives a shit about your "I was in my old middle school science class but it was also my high school, you know? And you were there but you had Becky's face and then my teeth fell out while I ran in slow motion" dreams"

Bulgaria: "Everyone you have ever known and will ever know has said "MY WIIIIFE" in a Borat voice"

Romania ":notes: the bOyS are back in town :notes:"

Moldova: "YouTubers are like people but worse"

Turkey: "My first video of 2018 will be a cry for help"

By @dedo-dimitri brought to you by mun burenka

[hausofmamadas]

That awkward moment when the reaction reblog is like half the length of the original fic skksksksksksk whatever cabrones, you had to know it was coming

⁂

𖥕 They didn’t trust him, she didn’t either he’s not even her usual type but there was something about him.

Skskkskse I’m so sorry I know I always scream about this but cannot help but see immediate meta-parallels between Slate (uh…. COOLEST fucking OC name btw, mad I didn’t think of it) and us as the audience…. Like the first time I saw Calderoni, I wasn’t immediately like “let me at him.” But over time…….. something about just the straight negative fucks he gives about every situation, the amorality, the duplicity, god I just can’t get enough and YOU KNOW WHAT, I’M NOW ALONE CAUSE I GOT MAH GORL SLATE TO BACK ME UP

𖥕 Still, Calderoni didn’t seem like the type to just end up in someone's bed. The man was like a fucking wall; he said what he had to say, made his point, and wasn’t trying to make friends.

ASDFKASKLDJFAKSDFJ THE MAN WAS A FUCKING WALL goddddd I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more accurate characterization of this see the above straight negative fucks he gives about every situation

𖥕 “Look who decided to join us.” Ossie commented with a grin. Slate flipped him off and he chuckled. 𖥕 Slate and Ossie look at each other, then back at Calderoni.

UHHHHHH THE FUCKING HOMIE ENERGY BETWEEN SLATE AND OSSIE ALREADY SENDING ME

𖥕 Back pressed against the wall, Slate crossed her arms and listened intently as Calderoni addressed the room. It took some work, but she was able to shift the events from a day ago to the back of her mind.

As;ldfjkalskdjfal;ksdjf the way fucking nothing has happened yet and I’m already biting my fist at the like *cue Easy Lover by the Phils, Collins and Bailey* underlying tension, trying to play it cool. And like best part is….. Calderoni has no probs playing it cool skskks. Slate already said, mans is a wall. So can you imagine knowing mans is a wall, and trying to will yourself into the same state of mind even tho you’re not like a wizened, corrupt Mexican police officer at the end of his rope with a mustache that says, “I have exactly no time for your shit”

𖥕 Upon stepping in, she was gently swept inside. Once the door was closed, and locked, his lips met hers. There was no talking, no conversation, just two people swept up in desire and need.

I SAID GODDAMN ASKDFJA NI SIQUIERA SÉ COMO EXPRESAR QUE ME HACE SENTIR ESTOS CHINGADERAS CAUSE LIKE– okay. Look. Listen. As I’ve gotten older, let’s just say… Like any boy-o who tries to like assert dominance emotionally let alone physically makes me cackle like the actual Wicked Space Witch of the West Coast. HOWMEVER. There are certain boy-os who just…. yea, basicallycould step on me??? Like the fact that just Calderoni grabbing her???? no words, exchanged, fucking nada???? like I’m on board?? with it?????

𖥕 “Being seen together once at the bar was dangerous enough, we need to be careful.” … He sighed behind her, but it had a more relaxed tone to it.” Neither of us knew the other would be there.”

WOAAAAH okay, it just hit me how dangerous this actually is…. Bc the drug cartels and the Mexican govt low-key the same thing today but at the time slightly more separate do have spies everywhere. that kind of surveillance is actually a thing, and Calderoni is fully playing both sides, so if Miguel were to find out he’s hooking up with Slate, he would prob have his head. And then you got Slate who’s working on a fully illegal task-force operating totally against the guidelines for conducting investigations in foreign countries sksksks like this has such the capacity to be a shithow. But then skskkss once again, Mr. gives-negative-fucks-about-fuck-all Calderoni all, “nah gorl, It’s fiiiiiine.”

𖥕“I need to get back. And, if this happens again, we cannot come to his hotel.” He didn’t respond right away. Instead, he inched closer and gently caressed her bare back with his fingers. “Relax, there won't be any issue with this place. Trust me.”

SKSKSKKSKS NO BUT I JUST STOOD UP IN MY FUCKING CHAIR BC I THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA BE LIKE, “RELAX THIS WON’T HAPPEN AGAIN,” BUT INSTEAD, HE WAS LIKE “RELAX, WE CAN TOTALLY BANG HERE AGAIN THIS PLACE IS FINE”

𖥕 “Last time, or” he slid one of his hands behind her head, “second to last time? Third to last?”

Not halfway through this bitch and already clutching my chest, in need of a heart monitor necklace, fully help I fallen and I can’t get upasaksafkksjdfksdkfjaskdjfalskjdf

𖥕 Belize is beautiful, Slate reminds herself to come back some time, after all this is over and long in the past.

FUCK just occurred to me that literally fucking NO ONE on that Leyenda team except Walt and Sal survived bc Calderoni fucked Walt over bc Walt was playing shady lbr they were both being some duplicitous motherfuckers with the Acosta shit…. and SLATE IS PART OF LEYENDA SO TF IS GONNA HAPPEN, KICKING MY LEG IN THE AIR LIKE A CHORUS GIRL IN A BROADWAY SHOW

𖥕 Ossie grinned.” Either way, I can pop the lock.” “Of course, you can. Troublemaker” Slate commented with a smile.

OH OKAY BUT LOVING the homie energy going on between these two, I AM HERE FOR IT

𖥕 A lifetime of trying to make a difference and help, just to die on some floor like so many others. It’s not what she wanted, but it’s a realistic outcome to all this.

‘… just to die on the floor like so many others…’ -> THE WAY THIS FUCKING SLAPS WTF

𖥕 “I’m going to help!” She called back at Daryl before disappearing into the trees. Running as fast as her legs would take her, she made it down the side of the ridge.

OH FUCK YESSS CUE ME STANDING ON MY CHAIR SWINGING MY SHIRT AROUND IN THE AIR LIKE GO, BITCH, GO!!! SIMULTANEOUSLY LIKE NO, BITCH, NO!! SAVE YOURSELF!!! SKSKSSK also fully forgot Daryl survived, that cool, stoic mf

𖥕 Slate’s eyes jumped to Ossie again, she needed to get to him …

Goddddddaaaaammit like I knew it was coming but just love the friendship so much, I need more Ossie and Slate adventures. Slate needs more Ossie and Slate adventures!!!! *flips damn desk over, kicks hole in wall, hops up and down grabbing foot, howling in pain*

𖥕 “I’m fucking dying, man!” … Slate continued to fire back while trying to hear what Ossie is saying to Walt. A heavy feeling of dread washed over her.

Godddd THIS SCENE I just remember being so shocked how it was just one right after the other right after the other

𖥕 Even with his hand in the way, they could see the blood pouring out of his gunshot wound. Its fatal, the organs, right under the hem of the fucking vest.

FUCK THIS IS BRUTAL but so effective, the ‘right under the hem of his fucking vest’ is just chef’s kiss prose, that is.

𖥕 An ill feeling washed over her as Amat laid on his back ahead, a guy on either side of him, rifles trained on his body. Each time their fallen friend groaned, the sicker she felt.

FUCKING SQUIRMING LIKE AN ANT UNDER A MAGNIFYING GLASS OVER HERE BC I REMEMBER THIS SCENE SO CLEARLY LIKE CALDERONI LOOKS LIKE HE MIGHT TRY AND HELP AMAT BC HE KILLS THOSE TWO DUDES AND THEN THE REST OF THE GUYS CATCH UP AND HE JUST HAS TO SHOOT HIM AND NOW SLATE’S WATCHING ALL OF THIS AND I AMA SDKFJALSKDJFA;LSKJ

𖥕 He deserved to walk away Walt, they all did. But they were never going to. You made sure of it.” Slate moved over slightly; a sliver of her face came into Calderoni's view.

Me positively fucking squeezing my face right now. Also, can we pause and appreciate Calderoni’s little schpeil here. Like right or wrong, he really just knows how to spin that shit on Walt and make it really gutting askksdjfaksjdf

𖥕 His eyes moved back to Slate. “Get the fuck out of here and don’t stop walking until you hear them speak English.”

I love that you included this, legit one of my fav Calderoni lines of all time esp the way he delivers it

𖥕 They had to get the fuck out here, there was no winning. Even if they could get a shot at Calderoni, dozens of men would descend upon them, and they had no chance of surviving that.

NO KSKSKS BUT SLATE IS READY TO MURDER HIM, AS SHE SHOULD LIKE THAT– WHY IS THAT SO FUCKING CORRECT

𖥕 A man she snuck off to see two more times before the trip to Belize and Juarez, a man she had a weird comfort with she could never describe or explain away. A man she now hated with every bone in her body.

CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN WHY THE PROSPECT OF SLATE GOING AFTER CALDERONI IS SO HOT???????? Like why did I immediately start rubbing my hands together and twirling my mustache like an old-timey villain from a silent movie, the minute Slate goes whole-hog “fuck this guy, but like not in the way I did in Belize and Juarez, fuck him in the biblical sense of vengeance sort of way” can someone explain me to me…? No takers. That’s okay

𖥕 … she stopped cold in her tracks. A familiar face stared back at her, dark brown eyes, hair combed back, his arms crossed … “you’re a hard woman to find.”

Okay, somehow have neglected to mention how fucking SPOT ON our man’s dialogue is, like I know some is from the show but the parts that aren’t, he has such a distinct, emphatic way of speaking and you’ve really just fucking nailed it

𖥕 He grabbed her shoulders and lowered his eyes to hers. “Calm down. Can we talk? Inside?”

As;lkdjfa;lksjdf this is literally the most mundane interaction and it also has me:

bc Calderoni is like, he a husky mf and I mean that in the very best way mmkay But if you’ve actually seen people in military/law enforcement who have to Be Strong on-the-job, they’re not that six pack abs shit that we see in movies. Those guys are passing out on set from the dehydration diets they have to do all the time skskks like actual strong people do not look like that. And that’s cause you can’t just be raw muscle?? In order to like Do Things?? my point is like Calderoni is actually strong, so like him holding your shoulders in place like that, just the weight, can you imagine skdjakssdf why am I fully unraveling right now.

𖥕 When the door opened, she jumped to her feet and retrieved the gun she kept hidden behind a desk. Calderoni didn’t budge at the sight; or show any signs of worry.

KEKW REMEMBER WHAT I SAID ABOUT LESS THAN NEGATIVE FUCKS. LIKE WHY IS THAT THE HOTTEST THING just realizing now, I’m really a sucker for dark hair, dark eyes, inscrutable, and cool under pressure skskssk like Barrón, Calderoni, there’s a pattern there

𖥕 “Tell me to fuck off in the morning, but for now,” he raised his eyes to hers, “let me be here for you, even if it’s in silence.” He forces a small smile. “Keep the gun close if you want.”

NOOOOOASDKFALDJF ;ALSDJFLAKJS;LFJA S;LDF SHUT THE MF PUTA PUERTA A LA VERGA, HAS DAÑADO MI PINSHE CORAZÓN, NUNCA ME RECUPERARÉ, NO POR EL RESTO DE MI CHINGA VIDA, QUE PEDO PUES ……. ‘Let me be here for you, even if it’s in silence … keep the gun close if you want.’ I’m mad, I’m mad. Loca, encabronada que no pinshe haber pensado en ello. I feel mentally ill.

𖥕 Maybe she would yell at him tomorrow, tell him all the things she wanted to say, but for now, she doesn’t have the energy. Calderoni wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him.

Honestly, after an ordeal like that, this makes perfect sense to me, like she’s been through so much and anger takes up a lot of energy and mental real-estate, not to mention toll trauma takes bc subconsciously it just overworks your nervous system. Like to finally be able to rest despite how mad she is like this ending is just INCREDIBLE. GODDAMN MF INSPIRED

⁂

It wasn’t supposed to be this

A narcos mx one shot | Calderoni x f agent*

Words: 6,200 | read on A03

* read as an OC / her nickname is Slate and I did image her in her mid to late 30s OR read as a RC. I use ‘she’ not ‘you’

An: I made an exception and posted this in full, since I don’t think there anymore than 2 or 3 of us who crush on him. Anyway, I’m going back to my system after this, just previews on tumblr. This one shot is just the exception.

Warnings: violence, mention of injuries and blood, drinking, vague sexual content, drug traffickers, character deaths, lots of angst

Narcos disclaimer: I fully understand how sensitive all this is, which is why I struggled with writing for the show or not. But, I do, and I enjoy it so don’t plan to stop anytime soon. The show is naturally a very real trigger, so off the bat, you are triggered, block the narcos tag. I’m only one of many who write for this show (I blame the actors, it’s their fault, they charmed us). Filter the tag and save yourself and the writers unnecessary exchanges. Criminals, drug traffickers, drugs, really bad people who hurt so many are talked about in this show. In writing these little stories I’m not trying to erase that or gloss it over. Now that I’ve said my peace, remember it’s fully your choice if you continue and your fault if you get upset not mine. Last, if you don’t like the fic/story just move on. Plenty of other things to read. Don’t waste my time. Plenty of other fics around.

The full realization of what happened last night hit during the shower. She drank a lot; this job is stressful, and she usually limited herself to one beer or one drink as a calming agent for a few reasons; to keep in control and to avoid letting her defenses down.

Last night, she lost both those battles and ended up in bed with the Calderoni. Slate couldn’t put her finger on why she was drawn to him. They didn’t trust him, she didn’t either he’s not even her usual type but there was something about him.

Keep reading

[emilywatchescursedshow]

Spn Season 1 Review

Hoboy

First, the live blogs of the last 4 episodes were done in a haze of jetlag depression so were less specific to what was actually happening in the episodes than normal and contained no extraneous information. HOWMEVER. I will get into those episodes more in this recap because:

1. I do not feel like the season really Led Up to this finale. Part of that could be because I took a bit of a break halfway through, but I think also the groundwork for the Sam/John parallel they tell us about was not really set up in previous episodes. 2. I think that the characterization of the brothers and their relationship to John is really Interesting in these episodes and the drama of that is a big part of the show as a whole, so the last several episodes are pretty relevant here.

THEMING The theme of season 1 is more or less: family. How do you handle family trauma and loss? How do you as a parent protect your children vs let them have independent lives (or just suck major ass)? To what extent is your family holding you back? Etc. The two sort of relationship dynamics this plays in is the Sam/Dean dynamic and the John/sons dynamic.

DEAN Dean’s characterization through this theme remains pretty consistent: he wants to be with his family. He showed up to get Sam at the beginning of the season, and he wants to keep them all alive at the end of the season instead of sacrificing John to kill the demon. The irony is that the season ends with them all “dying” (I know they’re not dead, but right now that’s what the show wants us to believe) and Dean’s insistence on family unity is what ends up getting them all killed.

Dean’s story line throughout has been one of responsibility assumed too early. After their mom died, his dad basically made him co-parent. Dean had to give up his ambitions to bend to his dad’s wishes while also trying to protect Sam from John and various monsters. It makes sense for him, given that backstory, that keeping the family together is his highest priority: he has been forced to give up all sense of self to keep his family safe, so if they die then he literally has nothing. I think it’s interesting that Dean is the only one of him or Sam who actually knew their mother, and yet Sam is the one who gets a mother-relevant character arc.

That might be because of the next aspect of Dean’s character we see: he likes to have sex with women. I tend to be pretty sensitive to misogyny/mistreatment of women on screen, so either I’ve lost my mind or I’m already watching this show through a very queer lens because Dean’s treatment of women throughout the season Did Not Bother Me. The only thing that really rang sour was at the beginning of Provenance when Dean is lying to women about his job to get into bed with them, but even then, like, eh? The whole scene (and all the other such scenes) are depicted with a lightheartedness that is hard to read malice into, and Jackles plays that part with such a wide-eyed “Wow! I get to have sex now!” that it’s hard not to feel anything but happy for the guy. I do suspect that Dean is supposed to be characterized as “treating women like whores/expendable” and so does not have an attachment to his mother in this season because he’s not allowed to have a complex relationship with a woman.

SAM Uh boy. So Sam’s arc begins with his girlfriend getting immolated - we learn later that Sam wanted to propose to her and so she was getting in the way of the demon’s plans for “kids like him.” Whatever that means - the show does not communicate its stakes to us AT ALL, more on that later. Sam gets some episodes of characterization throughout. The only two I can remember are the one with the abused psychic and the one where a woman decides she’s in love with him within seconds of meeting him. In neither episode to I really feel like I understand Sam as a character. We are told at various points that he really loved Jessica and her death has affected him greatly. At the beginning of the season, he dreams about it often, but these dreams end up being psychic in nature (I think?) and fall off by mid season. He doesn’t have a keepsake of hers to gaze at longingly or any other way of showing he’s having trouble letting go. Dean basically lets him off the leash to go kiss Sarah in Provenance, which he seems pretty happy to do and has no real guilt over after. Sam’s characterization is carried out very directly - we are told what he is feeling or had felt, instead of some combination of saying it via dialogue and reading it from his actions. I’ve mentioned that I don’t think Jarp is especially strong as an actor, but I have to chalk this up to both weaknesses in writing and acting because scenes that communicate Sam’s internal world are largely nonexistent IMO.

We are told that the connection between their mother’s death and Jess’s death has had a great impact on Sam. He believes that he is cursed so that the “people he loves” (read, women) will die. While in a broad sense this might be true as the demon does admit to have targeted Sam, the supposed “curse” is not really dealt with by Sam except as a barrier in his journey to move on from lost love. Jess’s death served as Sam’s call to adventure at the beginning of the season and should give some emotional connection to Sam’s continued commitment to hunting, but until the final episodes Sam’s involvement in the monster world is continually explained as “wants to find dad” and not “wants to break curse.” In these episodes, Sam’s Jess backstory comes back and we are told that his desire to kill the demon makes him “like John.” Which. Is. Stupid. Let me explain.

In terms of the theming, Sam’s wanting to kill the demon even though it might cost the lives of any number of the Winchesters makes sense because of his established relationship with his family. He wanted to have a normal life which alienated him from Dean and John. Sam has very negative memories of John, and has little brother blindness to the stuff Dean did for him growing up and is largely unhappy with Dean as well. Thus it is not surprising that to Sam, a Winchester dying is not as large a price to pay if it means that Sam gets to have a normal life.

HOWEVER. I am giving the show a LOT of credit here because they DO NOT make that connection, instead going for the stupid “Sam is like John” parallel which is treated almost like a surprise reveal. John’s reasons for killing the demon are NOT Sam’s reasons for killing the demon. John is motivated by revenge to an insane degree: it has consumed his life and the lives of both of his sons. Sam is not revenge motivated. He moves on from Jess’s death in literally THE EPISODE before the finale run starts. Sam is motivated by what he has always been motivated by: his desire for a normal life, including a wife who wont burst into flames. So on a thematic level, short-handing these character conflicts as “Sam is like John” (which is explicitly stated multiple times throughout these episodes) does not work because these characters are approaching family from a very different place even if they end up with the same goal.

I do want to mention that I think Sam’s backstory of wanting a normal life could have been set up better; the show does a good job with Dean’s “too much responsibility too young” child stand-in, but Sam does not get a “I just wanted to go to prom” child stand-in. Which I miss because that would be HILARIOUS. I think the issue the show has here with Sam is, in short, that Sam wanting to be normal is Very Boring, whereas the world of monsters and how Tortured and Jaded everyone is is much Sexier.

JOHN The text of the show is pretty unabashed about telling us things that John did that a reasonable audience member could interpret as being Very Bad. In the brief moments he has on the show, the dynamic between him and his sons is mixed. There are plenty of heartfelt family moments, and there are plenty of fights. I think the show is definitely weakest when it is following John by himself. I do not care about John except as he relates to Sam and Dean, and really if he is in any sort of danger I just want him to die based on how awful he is as a person, so the suspense does not swing the way the writers maybe wanted it to. 

I think the twist at the end, where Dean realizes the demon has possessed their dad because he’s acting nicer, just b a r e l y works based on what they’ve set up. Honestly, I think the real problem is that John Winchester’s actor does not, to me, read as having any onscreen charisma. In the altercations that he has with Sam, I don’t really feel a threat from him. There isn’t any explosive or destructive energy, just sort of “your mom is mad you ate the last of her ice cream” energy. I’ve literally BEEN a more intimidating fake drill sergeant than John Winchester and I’m 5 feet tall and 110 lbs. John has big sad wet dog energy. He can get mad, but not in a way that’s actually intimidating. Thus, him telling Dean that he’s proud is sort of like “yeah, I bet this milksop is proud or whatever” and not “wow I would have expected that character to be a lot more upset right now.” I get that family dynamics can be complicated and a parent can cause you Bone Pain with just a look that to anyone else would seem harmless, but this is a television show where things have to read on screen. One Look Bone Pain is a lot more nuanced to construct. I think John being Big Mean Drill Sergeant is what they’re trying for, but in my opinion he's mostly just annoying.

Anyway John sucks.

WHAT’S NOT THERE The above talks a lot about what *is* in the show vis. the family theme. But Emily, this is a monster show. What about the monsters? Well. What about them indeed.

This first season of Supernatural is very clearly referencing the tradition of The X-Files and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. A lot of former X-Files people are credited on the season and they mention BTVS by name in an episode that is clearly themed around season 6 Buffy villains. Howmever. Both TXF and BTVS have a very important thing that Supernatural does not. STAKES. And not just ones meant for vamps that then get ignored by SPNs stupid vamp lore voice over.

Both BTVS and TXF handle their monsters very differently. BTVS is a universe where the main character has been fully initiated into the world of monsters so that, throughout the course of the episode, it is reasonable for her to detail pretty specifically what the monster is and what it is capable of. On the other hand, the characters in TXF must always be kept on the edge of the monster world, getting faint glimpses here and there. Usually, Mulder has an expository scene giving information on “what is known” at the beginning of the episode and then further monstrosity is communicated to the audience via interstitial scenes that tell the audience what the monster is and where it’s going, introducing dramatic tension: AA NO SCULLY DON’T TOUCH THAT IT’S SUPER GROSS. Both avenues successfully communicate to the audience what the monsters are (approximately), what they can do, and what their motivations are. This means that in the climactic scene, the audience knows what the STAKES are. They know what might be lost of the main characters fail, they know what the characters need to overcome to succeed, and they know what the monster is trying to accomplish.

Now. Some of the MOTW episodes in Supernatural do communicate what the monster is and what it wants. Scarecrow and Bugs are two that come to mind that both do this. Tellingly, both of these episodes also seem very modeled on TXF (compare/contrast Bugs with the trash golem episode of TXF where Mulder hip thrusts after sticking a flamingo in the yard, essay for another time).

Home is the first Supernatural episode that I identified as being extremely plot-oriented after the pilot. It’s also the first episode after the pilot to give sole writing credit to Kripke. There are interstitial scenes wherein the audience sees spooky stuff happening. However, these scenes do not further the audience’s understanding of the monster - we already know the house is evil and trying to kill people, and that’s pretty much all those scenes show. Moreover, Sam and Dean do not learn more about the monster in the house during this episode; their arc is basically just “Wow, isn’t it strange that the house is spooky now? Our mom died here!” The resolution at the end is borderline incomprehensible and their mother just sort of. Appears. Out of nowhere and then vanishes again with very little emotional weight given to this occurrence later in the episode or in the next episode. My summary of Home was pretty much “I did not like this and don’t want to be mean.” I talked about how I like monsters in monster shows, whereas Supernatural is more of a soap opera.

And yeah, the finale of Supernatural (written by Kripke) basically follows that track as well. I don’t know what these demons are or what they want. I don’t know what they can do besides possess people. When Meg confronts people and talks all big it’s hard for me to take seriously because I don’t know what she wants or what she is capable of, except in that one scene where she wanted to fuck Sam which. gross!

This is what I mean by saying that Supernatural does not have stakes. When the choice between losing a family member verses not defeating the monster is posited, the only reason I as an audience member feel engaged is the family conflict that has been established. There is no tension about the monster because I just have to assume that it will do whatever the writers decide it should do. I’m not weighing the odds of the Winchesters winning, I’m just watching them point guns at each other and hoping for the best.

CONCLUSION Jensen Ackles does a good job of playing Dean and he should get an award especially for his performances in the last two episodes of the show. IMO, he basically carried the emotional weight of the conflict and really made us root for Sam to not shoot his dad which is HARD because of how badly John sucks. I’m going to keep watching this show because of Jensen Ackles playing Dean Winchester. Fight me about it.

I think season 1 of Supernatural felt like watching two different shows with the same main characters. On the one hand, you have the MOTW episodes which invariably begin with “Here’s why we’re not tracking down our dad, even though that’s our stated motivation” and then tell a nice monster mystery with some good character beats. On the other hand, you have the series arc episodes, which are soap operas with demonic elements. I’m fine with it - because of Jensen Ackles as Dean Winchester. I’m interested to see what season 2 is like.

[stupidsexyseguin]

before you posted about some of your favorite justifications for how people rated the players, have their been any new stand out justifications?

There are so many! half of the ones I’ve been showing you guys have just been excepts, because these justification rants can take some wild turns! here’s some long and (almost) unfiltered justifications for why people voted for tens because like every single bit of them is gold and cutting them down would be a crime tbh;

“Let’s just get the obvious out of the way and say Shea Weber (I’ve broken my pelvis before, and few experiences have sucked more than going through surgery and 5+ months of bedrest so everything could heal. However, I’d be cool with putting up with all of that bullshit again if the pelvis-breaking happened as a result of getting dick from Daddy Webs. Also, I’m sorry that I’m the way I am). Also, I’d take it any way any how from MY Captain, Claude Giroux (w/ or w/out the replacement tooth, because, honestly, idgaf), and on the topic of men with missing teeth I’d let demolish me, Alex Ovechkin has entered silver fox territory, and on top of that, I feel like, at any stage in his life, sex with Ovi would probably be one of the most life-changing, memorable, and surreal experiences one could have in their lifetime. Additionally: when will Kris Letang get traded so I can openly and shamelessly talk about how I’d let him hit it from the back. I also wanna throw in the fact that my No. 2 team is the Lightning, and I’d probably let half of their team raw me behind a Taco Bell dumpster (and like, not necessarily the hot half of the team either), but out of the whole TBL roster, Victor Hedman could choke me and then give some very bomb, gentle aftercare once the nasty had been done.” 

Jonathan toews based on the way his face looks deserves to be like a three howmever, I am absolutely in love with him and want to have two kids which we would raise in a modest home in the suburbs and we would have a fenced in backyard so our dogs could run freely and play with the kids and so based on the fact that I want him to father my children I’m gonna bump him up to a ten Maybe it’s because of my massive d*dd* kink but I would let Patrick sharp carve my heart out with a butter knife Gabe landeskog fucking duh, have you seen that pic where somebody photoshopped his eyebrows to be good????? I almost wore out my asterisk key w the tags on my reblog of that post Kevin fiala Idr if I already said Carey price but by god I would let him fucking kill me, there is almost nothing Carey price could say to me that would make me change my mind about how bad I want his dick Evgeni malkin and I truly don’t know why I guess it’s hoggles but like *** ** ***** Leon draisaitl…….. have u seen him, if anyone has him below a 9 gimme their address I just wanna talk I promise Taylor hall Zach the fucking snack werenski I want him to choke me to death with his thighs

first of all players who are 10/10 are a very different category to players i would let raw me behind a mcdonalds dumpster so keep that in mind - dylan strome can hit it literally anytime he wants including behind a mcdonalds dumpster im aware hes not a 10/10 but thems just the facts (also we all saw that video of him that demonstrates he’s very clearly Hung. tom wilson also could and would be down for a mcdonalds dumpster fuck and boy would i let him. listen i know this is already The Worst list of attractives players i could have compiled so im going to make it even worse by adding mitch marner to the list im aware hes not the most hot but hes gotten v muscular and im Here For It

tom wilson because have yoU SEEN THAT PICTURE OF HIM WINNING THE PULL UPS COMPETITION BOY OH BOY He could fucking gag me behind any dumpster for 6 hours and pull at my hair and deny me of an orgasm til i cry and fuck me raw and i’d thank him for it. scandy and i just want to say don’t @ me but he is just as daddy as tom is and he needs to spank me raw asap segs but only because of that fight, otherwise no he’s a ratboy and shouldn’t ever touch me or breathe within a 3m radius of me. chucky even when he’s bald. he could get it, bald. my sugar daddy drai$$$aitl 100% can raw me anywhere/everywhere any time he wants. i would do anything for this piece of ass. literally. with the black eye and all. and did u see his dick print today binch i’d hop on that so fucking fast colton parayko not because he’s really that hot but because he’s fucking huge and i want him to raw me while lifting me up with his pinky fingers