#HOW SHALL I EVER NOT FOLLOW MY IMPULSES IF YOU SUPPORT ME SO PLEASE TAKE ALL OF MY LOVE

[gdmonster]

@theimpalpable​ | AND ANOTHER WILD CARD BUT FROM THIS BLOGGO: "i don't think about the past, it's always there anyway." MITSKI LYRICS FROM VARIOUS SONGS PROMPTS

---

The agreement is silent but committal, the lift of both his eyebrows as he fails to look up from the dossiers strewn across his desk. Expert hands sift and flip through pages at the speed of someone who’s only as familiar with the feeling of paper beneath his fingertips, as he is with the coldness of his phone as he dials an ever-familiar number for an ever-familiar combination of praise and disappointment.

The present is nothing but the past’s future, every decision made back then has cut new lines into the overall carpet making up today, yesterday, and tomorrow’s existence. One minor slip-up can have the repercussions of a major accident, if handled poorly enough.

And it was the job of people like Kwon Hyuk to track every decision made and every track left, and turn it around in a way that would ensure the social survival of the silhouette hovering over his frame.

He doesn’t mind doing dirty work for the future police commissioner. But perhaps he minds not knowing how filthy his hands are getting.

That’s why his agreement is silent, because he wishes that statement to be a line, a philosophy he could follow. But part of him looks upon its composition and simply wonders if it isn’t far more contradictory than it’s trying to appear to be.

If it’s always there, have you ever stopped thinking about it? And for how long can perceived generosity and forged family retain the image he’d first taken of it?

He sighs, finds the dossier he was looking for and starts flipping through it.

“Well,” he starts, closing the dossier while lifting his gaze from it. His smile has always been on the side of genuine. He looks at the man before him and finds something similar in the energy he exudes, something that speaks of lack of threat, something that is easier to be around of than some others he retains himself closer to.

A kind soul, if his eyes, his smile are anything to go by.

Not the kind Han Gi Hwan takes likely too, he also muses. 

“Sometimes there’s really no way around it. I’m telling you, you’d be luckier thinking about it in this case,” his hands underline his pensive nature and the nervousness humming away beneath it, as he lifts and lightly smacks the dossier up and back down on his open palm, over and over again, in slow motions.

“This case is... quite something. Why did your... what was it, superior? Why did you say you were you interested in this?”

[nordleuchten]

what were other friends that Lafayette made during his time in the continental army (others than hamilton and laurens)?

and also, did he pick up some/many fights with others ('cause of diferent opinions or smth) while he was in america? thank youu

Hello Anon,

sorry that it took me so long to answer you, I somewhat misplaced my draft and things went downhill from there. Thank you for our great question though. La Fayette made many other friends beside Laurens, Hamilton, Jefferson and Washington, but many of them are often overlocked. (I copied parts of a previous post that also dealt with La Fayette’s friends, so please be not surprised if some passages may sound familiar.)

La Fayette was the sort of person who made friends easily. He was not a grumpy person, being on good terms with somebody was his default mood so to speak. Some of the lesser-known friendships that he struck up during his time in America were with James McHenry, James Monroe, Henry Laurens, Nathanael Greene and Baron von Steuben for example.

James McHenry first met La Fayette when they both were members in George Washington staff. McHenry later transferred to La Fayette’s staff (March of 1781) and was one of his most trusted aide-de-camps. He often was chosen as La Fayette’s “liaison-officer”. I have three excerpts from letters by La Fayette, detailing his relationship to McHenry. The first one was written by La Fayette to McHenry on February 15, 1781, a few months before McHenry joined his staff:

My tender friendship and affectionate Regard for You, will Not lengthen this letter with Assurances from My Heart While the Heart itself must Be known to You. I intend to write You Again in a few days and with Every Sentiment of Attachement and Esteem Have the Honor to be Yours

Lafayette

The second letter was addressed to General Greene on August 12, 1781, concerning a potential transfer McHenry’s into Greene’s staff.

McHenry is So well Acquainted with My Sentiments for Him that He knows My attachement is independant of whatever Steps He Might take on the occasion. He knows I am not of a temper that finds faults with the Measures of My friends, and that I will ever feel an obligation to the Man who obliges General Greene.

The last letter was written to McHenry on December 26, 1783. McHenry at this point had already retired from the army.

As an ardent lover of America I am glad to Hear of the influence You are said to Have in Congress. As Your most affectionate friend I shall Be glad whenever You Have an opportunity to display Your abilities. If Congress do not send me Any Commands, I shall Most Certainly embark in the spring. If they Have Commands for me, I would Be thrice Happy to Receive You along with them, and to Make with you french and European travels. You ought to Make them charge you with some political commission to Courts in Europe, and I would like going as a volonteer with you. [Manuscript torn; part a line missing] Your family and our friends. Most affectionately I am for [manuscript torn; several words missing].

Lafayette

I showed you this many letters for several reasons. First, McHenry deserves more attention if you ask me. Second, they show not only their emotional relationship but also their professional relationship and illustrate how convinced La Fayette was by McHenry’s merits - and lastly, I like them all and could not decide. :-) Years later, during La Fayette’s imprisonment, McHenry was among the people who tried to help him gain his freedom.

On to James Monroe. Monroe was, just like Hamilton, close in age to La Fayette (actually, La Fayette was older then Monroe by several months) and spoke French. They both moved in the same social circles during the Revolution and had some common friends. It was also Monroe, who, with the backing of Congress, invited La Fayette to visit America once more in 1824/1825. La Fayette received the rights to some land during this visited and later gifted some of this land to Monroe so that Monroe could start paying off his mounting debts. Here is what La Fayette wrote to Monroe on December 19, 1784:

My dear Sir

I Have Received your letter to mr jefferson, and shall very Carefully deliver it. Our old friend Gibbs will give you a Bundle of papers for McHenry which I Beg you will keep for Him untill He Comes to Trenton. To morrow morning, My dear Sir, I set out for Europe, and Before I go, it is pleasing for me once more to assure you of the value I Have By Your friendship, and of the affection and regard I Have the Honor to Be With My dear Sir Yours

Lafayette

(I may or may not have chosen this letter because McHenry also makes an appearance.)

Another friend was Henry Laurens. Laurens was the father of John Laurens and the president of the Continental Congress for some time. He and La Fayette first started corresponding when La Fayette was recovering from his gunshot wound. He wrote Laurens on December, 1777:

I am indeed very importune to wraÏt so long a letter. You'l find me very troublesome, and I make haste to put an end to it by the short assurance of the eternal friendship I am with - Dear Sir Your most obedient servant

(La Fayette had a moment of self-realisation right here.)

Another very dear and very close friend of La Fayette’s was Nathanael Greene. There is a letter from La Fayette to Greene from November 10, 1780 that perfectly captures his feelings. La Fayette wrote:

My dear friend (…)For My friends, My dear Sir, I have No different feelings from those which I experience for Myself. I therefore feel for you, as I would do on My own account was I the Commander of the Southern Army. (…) But Whatever Might be hereafter the Case, Whatever Bad chance (and in our profession chance is Some thing) a Malignant fortune Might throw in Your Way, Be Certain, My dear Sir, that My friendship as well as My esteem for you are founded upon Such a Bazis As Cannot be shak' d By Any Run of Good or ill luck which May subject You to the praise or to the Blame of Common opinions. In all Cases, My Good friend, I am heartly willing to have My fate united to Yours, and By this junction of Stars to have My little share in Any thing Good or Bad that May happen to the troops Under your Command. I Beg you will present My Best Compliments to Your family and Most affectionately have the honor to be Yours forever

Lafayette

In the same letter to Greene, La Fayette also described his feeling for Henry Lee, a member of the prominent Lee family and someone La Fayette met through the army. He wrote Greene:

As I am Sure that My friend Lee will apply for being attach'd to me, I Beg leave to Support the Motion of that officer whom I Love, and on whom I Greatly Confide Both for Advice and execution.

The Baron von Steuben (what a legend) was also counted among La Fayette’s friend. The two of them spend a lot of time together during the Campaign in Virginia. La Fayette wrote to von Steuben on July 16, 1780:

I received, my dear baron, the letter you had the kindness to write me, and I am infinitely appreciative of the token of friendship you give me. (…) The confidence I have always had in your friendship and the new proof of it that you have just so graciously given me, my dear baron, assure me that you will be willing to make efforts and use your influence and authority to get first-rate men. (…) In a word, my dear baron, I put my interests in your hands and, counting on your friendship, I am utterly at ease. (…)I hope I do not need to assure you of my tender affection

This list is by no means exclusively but I think these were the most important friendships for La Fayette. Others friend that could be mentioned was Joseph Reed, William Heath and William Carmichael … now on to the “picking fights part”. No, La Fayette was nobody to pick fights. That was simply not his style. There were disagreements of course, mostly over military and army matters, but these could either be dissolved or La Fayette acknowledged that he was for the most part the more junior and inexperienced person in the disagreement. He was however somebody who was not afraid of letting his opinion be known.

There are for example Generals Gates and Conway, two officers who were involved in what was called the “Conway-Cabal”. There is a bit of a discussion nowadays about the true extent and nature of the “Conway-Cabal” but for people back then, for people like La Fayette, it was a very serious affair. Previously he had been on quite friendly terms with both Generals, even trying to form a deeper friendship with Gates, but after the “Cabal”, their relationships soured. La Fayette wrote the following about Conway in a letter to Henry Laurens on January 26, 1778:

Amongs All the men who could be sent under me Mr. Connway is the most disagreable to me and the most prejudiciable to the cause. I Confess you that love and friendship have alwals been my duties. This last sentiment I feel to the most perfect degree for General Washington. How can I support the society of a man who has spocken of my friend in the most insolent and abusive terms, who has done, and does every day all his power to ruin him, who tries to spend the fire in every part of the army and the country?

La Fayette also manged to almost get into a duel while in America - but not with an American but an Englishman. The British had sent a peace commission to America to probe the possibility of a peace treaty. One of the people they send, Lord Carlisle, insulted France in an open document. La Fayette felt offended on behalf of France and challenged Carlisle to a duel in late September of 1778 - Carlisle refused. The Marquis noted of the event in his memoirs:

In a public letter, signed Carlisle, the French nation was taxed with a perfidy too universally acknowledged to require any new proof. With the effervescence of youth and patriotism, M. de Lafayette seized this opportunity of opposing the commission; and the first impulse of M. d'Estaing was to approve of his conduct. A haughty challenge was sent from head - quarters to Lord Carlisle: the answer was an ill - explained refusal, and the impetuosity of M. de Lafayette was attended with a good result, whilst the prudence of the president was ridiculed in every public paper.

Roughly two decades later he wrote in his mauskripts:

Lord Carlisle refused, -- and he was right.

I hope that I could answer your question and I hope that you have/had a fantastic day!

[ziggyzagreus]

Bitter Revival

[Pairing: Zagreus/Thanatos - Fandom: Hades (Video Game)]

[Rating: Teen+ Audiences]

[Important Tags: Light Angst, Argument, First Run Spoilers]

[Fic Type: SFW Drabble]

[AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28493994 ]

[Summary: Zagreus made it to the surface for the first time, only to be dragged back under.]

[Note: This is basically one hour of me being pissed off after my first run, coincidentally the first time I met Thanatos, too! Great timing.]

~~~

Zagreus had been frustrated with dying before – of course it was irritating to be put through excruciating pain again and again, only left to drag himself from the sticky river of blood and do it all over again. Expelling the irritated tension in his body, he would chat briefly with those that supported him, catching them up and once again saying thanks for their tolerance. Then the prince would stop by Cerberus to apologize for this tease of disappearing indefinitely only to come back and give the big mutt false hope.

Afterwards, he would take the berating from his father with an eyeroll and a shrug, and be on his way. A simple routine, mundane and frustrating, but never angering. In fact, more or less it just gave him something greater to undertake than that blasted paperwork.

But this time was different. This time, the prince seethed. The house was quiet at his return, the usual milling number of Shades absent. Even the ever-present scratching of his father’s quill seemed softer, more distant. Hypnos’ snores were not present either.

It was quiet, and Zagreus lie there in the river for a moment before dragging himself up the steps, the wet and sticky sloshing sound grating against his ears, the sound repulsive to his pounding skull. He pushed a hand through his thickly soaked hair, almost cursing when some dripped down his forehead around his eyes.

Zagreus took the few steps out of the Styx, glaring at the ugly trim carpet and how smoke rose from its fabrics when his feet met the floor. The rushing sound in his ears made him feel as though he was still in the river itself; and admittedly, the prince would rather lie down for another moment before pushing forward yet again.

He had made it all the way through – to the surface, past his father, to his mother… and for what? To be gone in moments? It was unfair. Why death always came to him was like a curse, and the thought of putting up with it again made Zagreus’ blood boil for the first time since he set out.

Death approaches. It always did, eventually.

The prince barely managed to stop short before knocking into someone, spotting the hovering, bare grey feet adorned in golden anklets. Of course. Normally, Zagreus would sigh with a fond exasperation, quickly thinking of excuses for his past actions. The leaving, the lies, all that.

But now he resigned to close his eyes briefly, biting back a growl, and raised his head to meet the piercing gaze of Death Incarnate himself.

“Zagreus.” Thanatos said simply, his tone dull and dampened, yet echoing all at once. “You made it to the surface.”

“I did, Than,” Zagreus replied, only his own words came out more scornful, harsher than he had ever intended. Well, suppose it was warranted in his current state. It was the sentiment carried forward from his true feelings.

“I’m sorry to see you back here then, although it possibly could have done some good to mention to me where you were off to. I could have been present along the way.”

“Oh, you were plenty present, Thanatos. I don’t recall being spared any of the pleasantries of a full death ticket,” Zagreus did not have time nor energy for this. He pushed past Thanatos, tried not to notice his gaze boring into his back.

Thanatos followed behind, his own glare then tangible despite persistence unlike his usual disposition. “I risk much for you, wasting my time out there when I have enough to do on my own. The least you could have done was informed me of your departure. Or consult in me about your brief success. Zag.”

“Shove off, Thanatos, I have to go back. I don’t have time for this.”

“You seem to have plenty of time to run out there and destroy things again, things I need to help fix I’m afraid.”

“Thanatos,” Finally halting his pace, Zagreus groaned again and turned around, threading a hand through his now dry hair, pushing it back from his forehead and letting the brief pain of the pull at his roots ground him. “Consider for a moment that I don’t care much for logistical things like that. Consider, maybe, that the only thing that matters to me is reaching my mother, my birth mother, and asking her the questions that have plagued me for… however long it’s been. Please, I’m asking you to see that and maybe leave me be when I go back out there. “

Thanatos had ceased drifting forward to meet him, instead regarding the prince with stoic expression that solidified like the hard edges of a marble bust. A change flickered in the golden light of his eyes, somehow the shade turning slightly darker. “Mother Nyx was just as much a mother to you as she was to us, Zagreus. But is that all we are now, a ‘logistical’ matter? I would have expected more from a lifelong friend.”

“Some life this is then, being lied to.” Zagreus scowled, for Thanatos was turning his words against him. Surely, as his lifelong friend, Zagreus knew that Death Incarnate was aware exactly of his thought process; that he never took his friends and family for granted, that those who cared for him such as Thanatos and Nyx were the few things that made this claustrophobic Underworld experience bearable. But no, Thanatos’ own grudge towards the prince himself for attempting to leave on impulse must take the foreground, always a quarrel with them. “I’ll be frank now, then. Kindly leave me alone, Thanatos, keep your death far away from me. Because I’m going back to her, to Persephone.”

Thanatos did not flinch, but his upper lip twitched in the tease of a scowl, and that was as good as a recoil. Zagreus took little pleasure from inflicting cruel words, but something about this defiance felt good. He raised his chin, glaring Thanatos down, and could have sworn those hovering feet drifted ever so slightly further towards the ground.

Golden eyes darted over towards the great desk of Lord Hades, but the busy deity seemed lastingly unperturbed. Still, Thanatos spoke softly. “You know I cannot help you, Zagreus. I… I have a duty to stick to, and I cannot stray from that. Even for you.”

An unspoken hesitation in his words spoke volumes, and once again a shift in hue of those beautiful eyes made Zagreus’ heart stutter, something beat and clench in his chest. Still, if Thanatos would stew over a grudge for this long, then two could play at that game. Zagreus’ own started today, or night, whenever it was that his presence was ripped from his mother after all he worked for. Dragged under by the cold and cruel hands of death itself, colder than the wind and snow that whipped about Greece on the surface, again and again. But that time it had hurt even more, an injustice for once clearing the prince of blame for his own passing.

Zagreus knew exactly where the sudden surge of anger came from, but not why or how he allowed it to burst out, right to Thanatos’ unsuspecting face. “Fuck off, Than, truly. You do your work, that’s fine – You do what you are meant to do. But I? I don’t know, I hardly do, and here I must find my mother. Maybe, if I had more than a few painful, bleeding moments with her, then I’d feel some sense of belonging and drive akin to how you treat your work, yes? And if considering you as a logistical obstacle hurts, well, I’ll have you know I’m quite insulted to be seen as your work as well then. My constant death is monotonous to you, and for that, I say please fuck off.”

The House was so quiet. Zagreus’ strange eyes burned, and he would be remiss if not to mention that a cruel little vengeful glee spiked his adrenaline when he saw the way Thanatos looked, features stolid but the well-memorized tells of his timidity betraying him. For the first time since they began speaking, Thanatos looked away, another sneaking glance to the grand desk at the forefront of the room.

Hades had ceased writing for a pause, watching his son before a rumbling scoff left with an exhale of breath. Then, the scratching of the quill resumed.

Thanatos swallowed, looking back to Zagreus.

“Fine,” He whispered, that voice steady at this low volume. Zagreus wondered how it would sound should he speak louder. “I shall leave you entirely to your devices. Expect not to hear from me until I come to collect you back to the river. And that means you will receive little of my help, too.”

“As if you were helping from the start.”

“Zag, please don’t take that tone with me again.”

Zagreus wavered then, his brow relaxing as a soft sigh left his lips. But he could not apologize, he could not relent merely minutes after such an outburst. Squaring his shoulders, he  nodded so briefly it was hardly caught. But Thanatos saw. And Zagreus turned on his heel.

Death Incarnate disappeared with a burst of green and grey. The prince only fleetingly wondered on what business he originally came to the House, to leave without finishing the original task.

Unless coming to gloat was the initial intent. No, gloating was not in Than’s nature… Zagreus scrubbed a hand over his face with a guilty groan, and marched right through his room into the tiny courtyard to the rear of the house.

And Centaur Hearts were scarce going forward in his escapes; with the added pact from his father, Zagreus cursed the odds he had accidentally and foolishly stacked against himself.

[foureoreos]

oh please do delve deeper into why you think nya is not suited for romance (or at least the way she is written). I do think that jaya sometimes have cute scenes BUT Jay's desperateness ruined them for me. plus I feel like nya is not stupid. if she genuinely liked Jay she wouldn't have let a machine decide she is not compatible with him anymore which honestly makes me believe she just stopped liking him after s2.

Aight, let’s start this, shall we?

I’m really trying here not to turn this into a “why I don’t like ja/ya” answer, but it’s going to be a wee bit difficult to do if I don’t pull examples from that relationship. I’m also going to try really hard not to throw bias in here since I love bruiseshipping, but I will need it at some points to compare and contrast my different points and thoughts to make things clearer/better.

First, I want to start by saying that I’ve run into many people who tell me and mutuals things like “Wow, seriously? You’re still thinking about that? That was in the past, you gotta move on!” or “Look at Skybound again”. This is when I talk about both why ja/ya has been dragged on for so long and why Nya just doesn’t fit right into the whole romance subplot.

Well, buddy, call it what you want, but you can’t just base something off one point in time. Events like these carry over. That’s also what helps build relationships and gives them a stronger foundation.

i.e. How Jay and Cole, after making up during the Tournament of Elements, still continue to progress and develop their relationship. It actually got to the point where the character’s chemistry feels natural and very casual, almost to the point where the characters could write themselves.

For instance, we all remember that love triangle, right? I know people use the excuse “Nya is a teenager, she’s just acting like one” whenever she’s a b**ch or acts out very impulsively around Jay, but frankly, I think otherwise. Her character is really inconsistent throughout the series. There’s some moments when she’s likable and you can get behind her, but other times when she’s just straight up obnoxious.

She’s only nice to Jay whenever the plot calls for her relationship with him. Aka, ja/ya. When the plot doesn’t, she can be really mean and it feels like a complete one-sided relationship, because she acts like she just doesn’t care. And Jay loves and supports her like 24/7. (Also, ja/ya is really only developed one Jay’s end of the relationship? Very rarely or EVER Nya’s. What’s with that?)

Here’s where I point out how she contradicts herself in S3 and S6. Season 3, Rebooted, Nya lets a “match-maker machine” decide for her who her perfect match is. And while she was already dating Jay at that time, she still went ahead anyways to give Cole a shot, just because a machine told her he was the one. Okay. Can I add that she never apologized to Jay for what she did? Like, never explicitly told him that she started the whole mess? That she was the one who cheated on him?

Also, remember in Season 4 when she was telling Wu, “Jay’s funny and all but Cole, Cole’s not Jay…” (thanks to @afrenchfrypassingby for pointing this out to me)? So, what is Jay then? Or do you just have a very poor way with words?

Anyways, so, Season 6. I can’t remember the last time I ever watched this season. Must have been like years ago, because I always skip it in my Ninjago rewatches. Still, I remember a lot of things from that season. Especially when Nya told Jay that “Hey, when I first met you, I knew we were meant to be together”.

Well, hmm. Ah? Okay?

Can we rewind Season 6 a bit more?

I actually liked her at the beginning of Season 6. Only the beginning.

She wanted to be more than just “the girl ninja”, “Kai’s sister”, and “Jay’s girlfriend”. She wanted to find her own identity. And girl, I can 100% get behind that. Plus, she was basically forced to give up her Samurai X identity to become a water ninja. But then I don’t know what the hell happened that made her decide at the end, “I’m Jay’s girlfriend again”. And before anyone says anything about the lighthouse scene, etc. what she did in the end completely defeats everything she clearly wanted at the beginning of the season.

Follow up that Jay was a complete creep in that season. I know it gave him more development to his character and helped him to be more confident and have that “If I want it, I’ll take it” attitude, but the girl said “No” at the beginning and he was?? just?? so desperate to win her back and get the two of them back together? Ugh, that’s not how you write relationships, folks. When someone says “no”, that doesn’t mean “try again”.

Haha, my mind just did a flashback to that one line from Prime Empire when she told Jay she and him had chemistry. That was a lie. If anything, Nya and Ronin actually have more chemistry. And Jay and Cole have more chemistry.

I truly believe that from the beginning of this show, Nya was meant to be written as the “strong, independent, female character that could take care of herself”. But the writer’s try way too hard when they write her character.

If I’m being honest, Pixal actually shows that better. Not to mention Pixal can also be very feminine and still be a cool girl.

Strong female characters don’t have to be buff, they don’t have to want to be irritated by relationships or feeling like it pulls them down (not @ how Jay has said to Nya “I love you” over a thousand times and never once has Nya said it back because she doesn’t like showing affection because it distorts her image. When Zane and Pixal have said it to each other and show a very mutual, loving relationship), they don’t have to dislike “girly” things, and whatnot.

Strong female characters can be compassionate and kind. They can be badass and still care for other people. They can be in a relationship and still be powerful. They can show weakness and affection and emotion.

From the very beginning the writers pulled out the compulsive heterosexuality card and decided “Okay, we have one boy, one girl, let’s just put them together because yeah”. And then they started doing that with everyone else. Kai and Skylor, Pixal and Zane (though, not going to lie, is the only well developed canonical Ninjago romance). What a shame, honestly, because Lloyd and Harumi actually could have been really well developed if it weren’t for the whole “I want to kill you and bring back your dead father” abusive relationship. And, I don’t want to shame you for shipping Lloyd and Akita because I don’t care if you do, but they really had to make her go and kiss Lloyd at the end of the season huh? I personally feel like it was more a “thank you” kiss after some thought, but hah, you just can’t leave a girl alone for one second, can you, writers? And oh my gosh that subtle look between Lloyd and Racer 7 at the end of Season 12?? I got so scared. WOW.

I went OFF. And I don’t want to go any further because it will be so bitter and salty and I will rip her and everything about Ninjago canonical romances APART. But yeah!! This is all I will leave for you :)

Thanks for that ask!

[jeanandthedreamofhorses]

Eren the Free, Part 1: Response to linkspooky’s ‘Eren the Slave’

Thanks for asking for my response, anon, because it has allowed me to string together and articulate my own thoughts on Eren’s character at this stage of the story.

Needless to say, I have several interpretive, philosophical disagreements with @linkspooky‘s ‘Eren the Slave’ and these are expressed in my ‘Eren Jaeger – Who Freer than the Tyrant?’ meta, so please read that first. The purpose of this post will be to argue against specific claims made in linkspooky’s meta and tackle what I believe to be logical flaws in my opponent’s argument. This meta is in two parts not to flex but because my computer had an aneurysm trying to load the whole post.

Well, if the Defence in the trial of Eren Jaeger may take the floor, my opening statement is thus: Eren is no slave, and has pursued the path of freedom further than any other character.

Narrative and Personal Narrative

linkspooky draws a distinction between the Narrative of the manga and Eren’s Personal Narrative, the story he tells himself. They argue that people who have faith in Eren’s self-conception fall into his personal narrative.

But is his story not a Narrative? It is quite natural to expect character development from characters in a story - it could only rightly be called a mistake when it comes to real life. And do Eren’s detractors not themselves fall into the Personal Narratives of Armin, Mikasa and Zeke? They have repeatedly made the statement that Eren is not free, that he is being controlled by Zeke or Grisha, and every time he has proven them wrong.

There is indeed an authorial Narrative separate from the characters’ Personal Narratives which can be detected through symbolism and the course the story takes. I find that the course of the story thus far lines up far more with Eren’s Personal Narrative than it does with those of his detractors. We can tell this from how he has disproved Armin, Mikasa and Zeke’s accusations of manipulation and also how, in the last chapter, he symbolically rips free of his chains.

There is also the fact that we the readers are more in the dark about Eren’s thoughts and intentions than we are about any other character. How could we be seduced into a Personal Narrative we know next to nothing about? And why would the story deliberately hide from us the very perspective that is meant to deceive us? I think it is far more likely that the reason Eren’s intentions have been shielded from the reader is because they take the nature of a terrible truth that must be dug up with bloodied hands.

Whenever Eren opens up about his thoughts and feelings, the meta unfairly dismisses them as mere lip service despite Eren having no reason to lie to Reiner and Falco as two people he intends to kill.

Rather than our side of the fandom being deceived by Eren’s Personal Narrative, I find that the opposing side dismisses it out of hand because they have no intention of listening to Eren’s side of the story. Why is Eren’s perspective less valid than anyone else’s, especially when he knows more than every other character by virtue of his ability to literally see the future?

The only explanation I can find for this attitude, if I may be forgiven the presumption, is that people approach the topic with the automatic assumption that what Eren is doing has to be wrong instead of questioning their own morals - which is, after all, what Attack On Titan is all about.

Armin even says that he no longer understands Eren. I don’t think we should trust the perception of a character as being authorial Narrative when he explicitly makes a statement like this. linkspooky does have an explanation for this scene, however, which I shall address in the next part.

Armin and Mikasa’s Perceptions of Eren

linkspooky claims that the reason for Armin’s confusion is that his romanticised view of Eren is falling apart, which indeed it is, and the same is true of Mikasa. However, I don’t think it’s right to claim that their new perception of him is an accurate one, since they still haven’t heard anything from Eren himself apart from what both I and linkspooky agree are lies to distance himself from them.

While they both once focused excessively on the positive in Eren, now they focus excessively on the negative, not considering the reason for Eren’s actions that I believe we have received hints of in the last two chapters.

linkspooky and I both think that Eren wants to protect his friends - in my case I most definitely see it as his primary motivation. If Armin knew this about Eren, I do not think he would condone him, but I don’t think he’d so roundly condemn him as he does here either.

So I don’t think it is right to consider Armin’s words the straight truth here, given the lack of information he’s working with, and that indeed, the fandom is working with. Because Eren is doing the most morally questionable things, and because we are seeing things more often from Armin’s perspective than his these days, there is perhaps an impulse to put faith in Armin’s words over Eren’s. But in this series, nothing is ever so black and white.

In Mikasa’s case, her treasured memory of the scarf is now being being challenged by the memory of Eren murdering the kidnappers - but we know from 121 that Eren places special value on the scarf as well, instead of just the murder.

Rather than trying to paint Eren in a white or black light, they need to see Eren as he really is: like the freedom he represents, a force beyond good and evil. 

Enemy of the World

One of linkspooky’s arguments is that being the ‘Enemy of the World’ is just Eren’s fantasy as he frequently relies on others. However, linkspooky also mentions how Eren manipulates everyone close to him. I would argue that the person who manipulates you is, in fact, your enemy, and that Eren is the Enemy of the World not because he never relies on help but because he is entirely on his own side.

Indeed he knows that assistance from others is necessary even just to activate the Founder’s power, and he also refers to the Survey Corps as his friends, or even comrades, depending on your translation.

This is why he manipulates them - and the reason he manipulates rather than relying on them is because he feels that his Will contradicts the Wills of everyone around him. There is no-one who desires the outcome that Eren desires, not even Floch and the Eldian nationalists, I believe: I think even they will baulk at the scale of destruction Eren intends. Historia is the only character I think may be an exception to this rule as the other bearer of the ‘enemies of mankind’ moniker. 

This otherwise total isolation of intention is what makes Eren the Enemy of the World. Because he fights for his freedom, he rebels against peace.

I think this panel is another example of why the authorial Narrative itself supports the idea of Eren being an Enemy of the World. The positioning of the speech bubble and outside text was entirely the decision of Isayama and his editor, and is not a thought bubble from Eren’s head. He has never actually addressed himself as ‘the Enemy of the World’: Historia calls him the enemy of mankind and Willy says he rebels against peace, but while Eren has said he “might just destroy the world” and only in response to Willy’s words, he is still not ascribing himself a title or role.

Eren’s Individualism

linkspooky claims that the scene in the FT arc, where the Levi Squad is slaughtered because Eren didn’t rely on his power instead of theirs, is misinterpreted because Eren also lost the fight on his own. However, this is where I think this meta falls prey to one of its greatest weaknesses: the omission of the Uprising Arc from the analysis of Eren’s character, wherein his most pivotal transitions take place.

The event that caused Eren to trust in his own strength over the strength of others was not his fight against Annie, but when a similar situation repeats itself in the Crystal Cave.

In this circumstance, Eren is able to protect all of his friends by relying on his own strength, when they would have died had they attempted their risky manoeuvre. Eren has become strong enough to protect them on his own - this was the first inkling of that realisation.

I say ‘first inkling’ because Eren does say this afterwards, which seems to influence Armin towards his current ideology. Such an idea seems at odds with what I believe to be Eren’s current aim to genocide those different to him as a wholly antagonistic force, like the bullies in Armin’s memories who Armin now wants to make peace with.

I believe this is because Eren soon learns that those differences between people are simply too great and too much of a threat to his freedom. People are stronger together, but only if he can be confident that they will follow his Will, which is how he learned to manipulate his allies. The differences between him and Levi in the Serumbowl nearly caused the loss of his best friend, and then, when he receives Grisha’s memories and learns of Marley’s treatment of Eldians, he learns just how deeply divided humans are and loses faith in overcoming those differences.

Far from character stagnancy, this is the development I see in Eren that has led him to this individualistic conclusion.

I would also like to address what I think is a fallacy in linkspooky’s analysis of the fight Eren loses against Annie. Eren loses both with his comrades and without them - how does that make the former path any better than the latter? Eren was actually doing very well in his fight against Annie, and only lost when he realised her identity from her fighting stance.

What I think Eren really took away from that fight is the lesson he is applying now - he cannot show any mercy to his enemies.

Levi Parallelism

I find the parallels drawn between Eren and Levi quite interesting and am not necessarily opposed to it, but personally I find that Levi has more parallels with Mikasa than Eren as two Ackermans driven by their love for others (though of course this is a big part of Eren’s motivation as well). Mikasa realising she can’t protect Eren or always be by his side is more in line with Levi accepting that he can’t save everyone imo.

Those Who Push Themselves into that Hell

linkspooky draws attention to Eren’s use of language to indicate that he is not free, such as in the following scene: 

They argue that the ‘something’ pushing Eren along means he is not moving from his own will.

However, I find this claim to be contradicted by the distinction Eren makes within this very scene. He differentiates between those who are pushed into hell by their circumstances and those who “push themselves into hell”, clearly putting himself - at least as he is now - in the latter category. So I find that Eren is articulating that, because his whole past and future are manifestations of his own Will (as I argue in the attached meta), he is freely choosing to enter this arena rather than being forced to do so.

I Just Keep Moving Forward

linkspooky also argues that the reluctance in the line “I just keep moving forward’” suggests a lack of freedom. I would argue that continuing to fight for your goal even though you are frightened is a sign of strength of will rather than the reverse.

They also argue that, because those words are remembered as Reiner is about to kill himself, they are portrayed in a negative light. But this omits the crucial follow-up to that scene, where Reiner does not kill himself and finds a reason to live after hearing Falco express his desire to protect Gabi. Reiner is saved by that will to keep moving forward.

They further argue that Eren takes these words from Hange and twists them to suit himself.

But this is untrue. As they pointed out themself, Eren first heard these words in his training days from Reiner where it did mean what he thinks it means. Furthermore, there is no panel showing Eren having any special reaction to Hange’s words. He is shown with the other key Serumbowl players before Hange says them, but not afterwards, where the focus is solely on Mikasa.

I believe Isayama has Hange say Eren’s tagline because it is a key phrase in the themes of the story, and not because it has any special effect on Eren.

I Didn’t Have Any Other Choice

Lines such as “I didn’t have any other choice” and “Is there another way” are similarly argued to be indicative of Eren’s enslavement to a single course of action.

But this is just the conflict between long and short term gratification – enduring hardship to obtain your goal is an example of a strong will, not an enslaved one. Even if he is enslaved to circumstance, this is the case for everybody else as well, and it is an enslavement he seeks to permanently free himself from by crushing his enemies for good. After that, he and Eldia can do whatever they will.

Born This Way

The lines “I’ve always been that way, ever since I was born”, and “It’s probably been like this since the day we were born” are argued to be a form of enslavement to one’s sense of self. I cover this in my attached meta, where I argue that it is rather an affirmation of his own Will and right to exist.

One specific point I’d like to address is the claim that Eren saying those words after Reiner tries to take personal responsibility for his actions is evidence that Eren is running away from his guilt, and is therefore not at peace with his actions, and is therefore not free. But rather than in denial or frustrated, Eren appears to be in a state of sad serenity.

Eren does not say these words in immediate response to Reiner, but only after he hears Willy say “Because I was born into this world”. I think that here Eren is simply recognising that Reiner was simply following the unique nature of his Will - doing it because he wanted to, not because he had to, which is indeed what Eren is doing - and acknowledging that it is something he cannot criticise him for, but also something that he cannot spare him for. That is the command of Eren’s unique Will.

As for Eren not being at peace with his actions meaning he is not free, refer to the short/long term gratification point I made earlier.

Jealousy of Mikasa and the Need to be a One Man Army

linkspooky claims that Eren is still trying too hard to be as strong as Mikasa and Levi, but once again the meta suffers due to a lack of consideration for the Uprising Arc. In that arc, Eren got over his jealousy of Mikasa and Levi and explicitly stated as much.

This, I think, is also sufficient evidence against a persisting desire on Eren’s part to be a One Man Army (as opposed to freedom, which he does have a desire for). His words here make it clear that he wishes to fight alongside his friends if possible. He has simply learnt that, to achieve his goals, ruthless manipulation and rugged individualism is necessary.

Need to be Special

This is also something Eren overcame in the Uprising Arc. He thinks of himself as a normal person, the son of a special father, that he never needed to happen.

He is not doing all of this to be special. He has simply become special by pursuing his birthright: not a birthright of exceptionalism, but of the right to exist, something I shall explain further in the ‘Meaning of Carla’s Words’ section in the next part.

As with the One Man Army, it is a matter of necessity rather than desire. I cover this more in my attached Eren meta, but Eren’s character has developed in a perfect loop. Though his actions remain the same, his understanding of them has increased dramatically: that is to say, he has come to understand himself.

Indeed, people are not naturally special. But can one really argue that special people do not exist at all? To say such a thing would be to argue that there is no difference between Daz and Erwin. People become special -  Supermen, to reference Nietzsche - because they relentlessly pursue their Will to Power, their driving force to actualise their desires.

linkspooky also argues that the reason Eren’s change is the most dramatic after the time-skip is because in actuality he hasn’t changed. My argument is that it is simply the result of having the most explicit and tumultuous development in the story up to now, and crucially, the ability to see a future no-one else can.

Read the rest in Part 2 here!

[midnightmarev]

Just To Pet My Dog?!

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Pre-Moxiety

Word count: 2285

AO3 link

Notes: Based off of an incorrect quote by @ssslimyboy

Summary: Whatever Virgil had imagined would happen today, it most certainly wasn’t this! This man nearly died, just to pet his dog! Like, what? Okay, let’s rewind the day a bit to see what actually happened, shall we?

Just To Pet My Dog?!

“Alright, Ann. It’s 4:30. We gotta head out now if we don’t wanna be late for the vet’s.” A whine was heard. Virgil chuckled. Anastacia really didn’t want to go the vet. Virgil couldn’t really blame her. He himself never liked going to the doctor’s office either.

“Wruff!”

“I know, Ann. But it’s just a check-up,” he said, finding the leash as well as some of Anastacia’s favourite treats. She starts wagging her tail when she catches their smell. She was a beautiful albino German Shepherd, and he’d had her since she was a pup.

After another minute of dosing her with love, they were out of the door. It took about 15 minutes to get to the clinic, and their appointment was at 5 pm, so they would have some time to spare once they got there.

They were walking peacefully down the street when Virgil was abruptly pulled out of his thoughts at the sounds of tires screeching. Virgil looked up and saw a bespectacled man with curly honey-brown coloured hair. And he was crossing the road at what one would call superspeed without a care for his life. All Virgil could do was stand there and stare. What the actual hell was going through that man’s head?! The road was heavily trafficked this time of the day with people just wanting to get home from work.

Virgil visibly winched when a bus nearly hit him. Luckily the bus driver stopped just in time to not hit him. What was this guy thinking?!

Oh no! A car! Virgil stands there in silent terror and anxiety, praying to any and all deity that the man stops before he’s run over. He doesn’t, but the car does, and he slides across the hood. And a second. And third. And suddenly he’s standing on the pavement in front of Virgil, out of breath. But he’s smiling like a goofball? He seems super excited. Why?

“Oh my gosh!! Can I please pet your dog??” he asked, looking like he had to physically restrain himself from attacking Anastacia with love and pets and cuddles.

The question catches Virgil entirely off guard. What?

Anastacia also seems baffled. Humans were weird, but she never thought they would want to risk dying just to pet her.

“Um… sure?” Virgil hesitantly answered. And the man began to pet Anastacia, who gladly, but very confused, accepted the soft strokes to her fur.

“Did you just- did you nearly get hit by a bus and slide across the hood of three cars just to pet my dog?” Virgil asked incredulously after he broke out of his stupor.

The man giggled while petting Anastacia and getting concerned face licks from her. “Obviously.”

Now, Virgil wasn’t really the type to fall for people just like that, but the only thought that crossed his mind after that response was ‘is this love?’ and Virgil was in a daze. Here was someone who risked his life to say hi to Anastacia, because he thought she was the most important being in the world. Just like Virgil did.

All Virgil did for the next two minutes was stare at the man. The man who nearly got himself killed to pet Anastacia. The man who almost died and was now cooing at Anastacia like nothing had happened. The man who now casually told Virgil his name. “I’m Patton, by the way.”

And instead of answering Patton politely with his own name all Virgil could say was “You could’ve died! Are you out of your mind?!” And Virgil, anxious, awkward Virgil, internally facepalmed at his own words.

“Hmm?” Patton looked up at Virgil, eyes widening. “Oh my, I’m terribly sorry for distressing you! I can be a bit impulsive at times,” Patton sheepishly admitted. “And I’ve never seen a white German Sheperd before, and I kinda let my impulsiveness take over.” He looked down to Anastacia again, emphasising it by scratching her behind the left ear. He looked very guilty. That would not do.

“Uhm, I get that. Not many have. Well, she’s not just white, she’s albino. And albino German Shepherds are rare, to say the least.” Virgil scratched his neck, not knowing what to say next. “Where were you headed?” he then asked, feeling extremely awkward.

“Nowhere in particular, really. Just needed to clear my head. Had a small argument with my brother.” Patton looked, and sounded, sad at that. Why did Virgil always screw things up? Patton had been in a good mood for getting to meet Ann, and now Virgil made him think about something bad that happened to him. Stupid Virgil.

“I- I’m sorry to hear that. But that happens sometimes, right? Between siblings?” Virgil asked, trying to help. He didn’t have any siblings, so he didn’t really know the feeling. And he never spoke to his parents. They had basically disowned him at this point. But that wasn’t the same as having an argument with someone you loved and who loved you back.

Patton nodded. “I suppose. It’s just not often it happens, but it’s too often for my taste. I hate fighting with him,” Patton said, just as sadly. “But enough about me!” His cheery smile was back. “Where are you two cuties headed? Maybe I can join you?”

“Uhm, we’re just going to the vet for a check-up. But uh, sure?” Virgil stammered out, still trying to process the innocent nickname.

“A check-up? Has she been sick?” Patton asked worriedly. They started walking together.

“No no, she hasn’t. It’s just standard procedure with albino dogs. They just need to make sure her immune system is alright, and no genetic errors have popped up, or something like that. Anastacia’s as healthy as can be.”

Anastacia whined at the mention of them going to the vet. Strangers groping on her body was not her pack of treats.

Patton chuckled. “Sounds like someone doesn’t want to go, though. And that’s such a beautiful name! Anastacia.”

“Yeah, she’s been complaining a lot today because of it,” he smiled down at her. She responded by looking up at him, innocently. Their interaction made Patton giggle, and oh if that wasn’t the most beautiful sound Virgil had ever heard.

“Well, I don’t blame her. Going to the vet isn’t the most fun thing to do with your afternoon. You know? If it’s the vet just down here, you might be lucky, Anastacia. My old friend, Logan, works there, and there is no one as gentle as him!” Patton happily exclaimed, bending down to her to scratch behind her ear.

“Really? Do you think you would be able to make him do the check-up? She’s not very comfortable with most people, and last time she bit the vet we ended up with…” Virgil trailed off, remembering the day. He was very picky with who got to examine Ann, and they went through several vets before ending with the one she bit.

“Really? Patton asked, looking down at Ann, who purposely avoided looking at him. “So she chooses who get to examine her, or what?” Patton enquired.

“… and I’m also really “picky” with who is allowed to examine her,” Virgil sheepishly admitted.

“As you should be. She deserves only the best and most caring hands to do the examination!”

Virgil was glad he wasn’t the only one who thought her a treasure to the world. She was his emotional support animal and had helped him get through some of his roughest times and a lot of panic attacks. He would only accept the best for her.

Before they knew it, they were at the clinic. Virgil sat with Ann next to him while Patton was talking to the receptionist about getting Logan to do the examination. They had arrived ten minutes before the check-up, so they had some time to themselves while waiting.

Patton and Virgil held a light conversation, talking about anything and everything. They really hit it off.

“Anastacia?” someone asked. Virgil looked up to see a man dressed in the usual vet attire. He had a tie around his neck, making him look even more professional than any of the other vets. He had glasses on, similar to Patton’s, and black hair slicked back.

“That’s us,” Virgil answered. He encouraged Ann to stand up and say hello. He really hoped this Logan was to her liking. It seemed so.

“Salutations. Please, follow me,” the vet, Logan, said, motioning them towards a room down the hall. “In here, if you will.”

Virgil nodded. He went inside the examination room with Ann following on his heel.

The human vet the nice, but crazy, human had introduced her to was not so bad. She still didn’t like it here though, and would much rather go home.

“Patton told me she bit the last veterinarian to examine her?” Logan inquired.

Virgil looked a bit sheepish. “Yeah, she’s not all that crazy about going to the vet, even if it’s only a check-up.”

“I see,” Logan mumbled. He then went to a basket to search for something. When he emerged, he had a plushie in hand. “Here, this should help her with what I assume is her anxiety.” He handed the plushie to Ann. “It has helped my own canine companion a great deal.”

Virgil watched as Anastacia cautiously sniffed the plushie before slowly taking it, accepting coordinated and gentle strokes to her fur by skilled hands. No other vet had ever been like this with her. He faintly smiled.

“Now, if you will guide her to lie here?”

The examination went well. She was calm all throughout and not once did she growl at Logan. When the examination was over, Logan declared that she was much healthier than most dogs her age.

During the examination, Virgil learned that Logan had a husky named Laylin, but whose pet name was Star. He learned that Patton and his brother, Dee, were really close and it hurt Patton a lot on the rare occasions they fought. He also learned that Patton was very much gay and very much single. And he was waiting for Virgil and Anastacia.

“Salutations, Patton,” Logan greeted when he recognised Patton, sitting and waiting for Virgil.

“Heya, Lo! How did it go?” he asked. He looked genuinely worried. It was sweet. He already had formed some sort of connection to both man and dog.

“Anastacia is as healthy as a dog her age should be. It’s not many dogs that have the optimal health, but it seems like you are excellent at keeping her at peak health,” Logan said, the last part directed towards Virgil.

“Ooh, that’s good to hear! OH! Maybe we could set up a playdate so that she and Star can meet each other! And Nini could join too! She’s Dee’s snake! She’s sooo cute!! They would love each other!” Patton exclaimed, making some of the other patients look at him with various expressions; pet and owner alike.

Virgil and Logan chuckled at Patton’s antics. “You know, it would be good for Anastacia to interacts with other dogs, and to have a healthy experience with animals that aren’t dogs,” Logan pondered to Virgil. He already knew Patton would win. Nobody could resist his puppy dog eyes, and once he’d made up his mind, there was nothing that could deter him.

“Why not. My friend, Roman, is always on my ass about me having to leave the house more,” Virgil shrugged. They seemed like kind people, and his anxiety wasn’t telling him not to.

“Language!” Patton scolded him. Virgil was so surprised he first stood with his mouth open like a goldfish before bursting out laughing. “What? There are innocent ears here!”

When Virgil’s laugh died down to a giggle and had gotten a hold of his breath again, he looked incredulously at Patton. “You just do that? Scold people for their language? At the vet’s?” Virgil giggled.

Logan leaned over. “You’ll get used to that. And no, not just here. Anywhere,” he stage-whispered.

They laughed with each other before exchanging numbers. Logan had to get back to work, and Virgil urged Patton to go back and clear things up with his brother. Virgil could see the strain in Patton’s smile and the pain in his eyes.

Patton insisted on following him and Anastacia home, though. “Just to make sure no one else tries to cross the busy road to pet her,” he joked, bumping his shoulder into Virgil’s.

They said their farewells at the door, Patton declining the invitation to come inside for a glass of water. He needed to get back to Dee and Nini. Patton gave Virgil a small hug instead, saying thank you for being allowed to befriend Anastacia as well as being a well-needed distraction from his thoughts.

After Patton had left, Virgil gave Anastacia some of the promised treats for being so docile with Logan, before letting her trot into the living room and jump onto the couch. She was proud of herself. She had singlepawedly made sure her human got new friends. And a love interest. Dogs above knew he needed love from another human. And if she got new animal friends out of it, who was she to complain?

Virgil sat next to her, scratched her behind the ear, and grabbed his phone from his pocket. He was so going to text Roman about his crazy day. He wrote a short message saying he so needed to talk face-to-face because his day had been beyond absurd. Before he pressed send, he looked at Anastacia, smiled, and thought about Patton’s smile and adorable giggle. Only one thought occupied his mind. Ann looked at him and voiced it:

“Yeah, this is love.”

[asterisquebloomed]

Follow Forever

I seen a few of these before, and I thought what with the year ending, perhaps this was a good idea to do in commemoration of these past two years. I know I haven’t been the most active of RP partners. I’m really slow and my motivation is fickle, but I love RPing, I love writing, and I’ll never give it up, it brings me so much joy writing with everyone. So in honor of all that has happened, and as wish for more to come, here are some words of gratitude to some of my partners, friends, and mutuals.

@breakingreality

Avo, where do I even start with you? Oh I know, that you’re fucking amazing? Is that a good place to start? It better be, because here we go.

You are my best friend out of all the people I’ve met here in these last two years. I love talking to you, gushing about our characters, scheming and plotting future threads, teasing you with unanswered questions and unsolved mysteries, teasing you in general really, and just talking about whatever may cross my mind at the time. You’re easy to talk to, easy to get along with, and super friendly. I’m so happy to have met you and made friends with you, you have no idea. I’ll fucking fight anyone who dares talk shit about you. You’re understanding, smart, clever as fuck, and are one of the most enjoyable people to talk to. You’re a great writer, a great creator, and an even greater friend. I look forward to talking to you and I thoroughly enjoy your company. I don’t think you’ve ever once pissed me off, which is amazing because I have the shortest fucking temper ever. I wholeheartedly appreciate you and everything we’ve done thus far. If you ever need someone to talk to, to vent to, to confide in, whatever, I’m here for you. So if you ever feel lonely, or unwanted, or like you’re being ignored, come talk to me, cause I’ll never ignore you.

On that note, let’s turn our attention towards the RP side of things shall we? You’re an amazing writer, a wonderful RP partner, and your character are great. Like I love Eli, she’s fucking fantastic. Her sassy attitude, her impulsive nature, her quirky habits (Please don’t eat frozen steak Eli) and just all the intricacies and nuances, every single thing about her is great. A girl forced to grow up too fast, a child forced to face her mortality before she even got a chance to live. So when faced with two options, to die sad and alone without ever having had a chance to truly enjoy all that life has to offer, or to live by forsaking her humanity, the choice was obvious. She gave herself to the darkness, embraced being a monster, all for that chance. A chance to experience, to enjoy, to live.  I’m sure most of us would make the same choice if we were faced with such a dismal situation.

Eli is amazingly written, you bring her to life in a way most could only hope to achieve. Her reactions are organic and visceral. She’s such an emotional girl, as much as she tries to hide it behind that stoic facade of hers. Her emotions are so raw and powerful that they sway the reader to feel along with her. To feel her fury as she fights against those who have done terrible things to her or those she loves, to feel her happiness however short lived it tends to be, and to feel her sorrow, the deep, bitter sorrow that seems to constantly plague her very existence. She can never seem to escape it. The abuse, the torment, the manipulation, all the suffering she goes through, that leads her to the edge, and when presented with it, she jumps. She leaps into circumstances she never fully understood, dives into a dark and twisted world, one full of horrific tragedy. Before she knows it and before she’s even aware, she’s lost her humanity. She’s become a monster, not only in name, but in nature as well. She’s become the demon those nuns claimed her to be, and she murders her tormentors for the things they have done to her. She gets taken in by a morally questionable individual and is put to work as an assassin, forced to kill people who are the same as she once was, humans who became monsters and lost control. She’s forced to essentially kill herself, over and over again. She’s been isolated her entire life. Made to mistrust others, to be distant, to be cold, to be uncaring.

And then she meets a girl, a special girl who accepts her for what she is. A girl who, while initially afraid of the truth that was revealed to her, overcomes that fear, because what you are doesn’t matter, it’s who you are that is important. She accepts her, refuses to let her go, and swears to never abandon her. For probably the first time in Eli’s whole life, she has a friend. Someone who truly cares about her and enjoys her presence. It’s no wonder she fell in love is it?

But like all things in this poor girl’s life, it’s fated to end in tragedy.

Listen, I love Eli, she’s a great character, she’s compelling, nuanced, and with so much depth, of both emotion and personality. She’s conflicted, she struggles, she has ups and downs, she feels and wants, she’s both silly and serious. She’s like a real person. She’s not just one thing, but many things, all blended together to create a single individual, just like we are.

You’ve done an absolutely fantastic job writing this girl. You should take pride in what you’ve done, because you’ve created an amazing character here.

I adore her relationship with Ivalinne and Reiko. They’re such stark contrasts to each other, such different dynamics, and the conflict between the three is great.

Which brings me to threads, I’ve loved every single one, and I have SO many ideas for more. I’ve got so many plans and schemes and plots in my head that I have yet to spring on you since I don’t want to overwhelm you, and I hope we’ll get to explore each and every one of them. I can’t wait!

You are probably the biggest fan of everything I do. You support me in my endeavors and are always cheering me on, and I thank you for that, I really appreciate your support, how much you enjoy my stories and characters, it makes me so incredibly happy. You’re probably the biggest fan of Ivalinne’s story, and by far the most vocal. I hope you’ll continue to partake in my stories as I tell them, I’d love to have you along for the ride.

Have I heaped enough praise on you yet? I could probably go on for hours about how amazing you are, so in the interest of not making this post even longer than it already is, I’ll stop here.

Avo, you’re great is all aspects, and I hope we continue to write together for as long as is possible. I look forward to the coming year and all the wonderful threads we’ll surely write together in 2020.

@intrinsicmirage

Aster, you’re such an amazing writer. Your narration is beautiful, I love the way it flows and how poetic it is. It’s a pleasure to read the things you write and a joy to see you on the dash.

You are a creative force, your ideas and concepts are awe-inspiring. The lore you’ve crafted is so interesting and well thought out, from the Coils to the Shroud, to the various species you’ve made all from scratch. You have an amazing mind and I love seeing what you come up with. Your characters are compelling, interesting, and in some cases downright terrifying. S9 is a fearsome being, an ancient god risen from the dead yearning for the power they once had and more, intent to make the universe bend to their will and take all they can get.

Syn is great. A woman struggling with her past and trying to find meaning, going from a materialistic, greedy mercenary whose focus rested solely on the wealth and possessions she could gain, to her confronting her past and taking on the trials of the Coils. She’s so haunted by her pasts traumas that in the past she couldn’t bear to speak of them, and to confront them head on took a lot of courage. She comes out triumphant and sees the world in a new light, making her realize just how pointless her treasure trove of amassed wealth is, and that there’s something much more important than money and material things. She takes her future into her own hands, reshapes herself and takes control of her own identity, giving herself a new name, one that she chose for herself, one that wasn’t given to her by someone else. It was hers and hers alone. Now known as Malam’schir, she sets her sights far higher than she once did as Syn, seeking to tear down a corrupted system of power where the strong reign supreme. All that she willingly puts herself through and endures for that goal, it’s admirable. She’s done a lot of horrible things throughout her life. She’s never been what one would consider selfless, in fact, she’s been the opposite, and for someone like that to, in the end, work towards helping the weak who are trapped under the heel of corrupt monarchies and corporations who hold an iron grip on the planets and systems in the galaxy, that is some amazing character development.

I think it really is amazing when a writer can make you feel for a character that isn’t morally sound and who is either grey, or downright evil. It takes a lot of skill to get the audience to invest in and sympathize with a character who isn’t an obvious hero. To have the reader root for someone who has killed countless people without a second thought, who lies and steals and does whatever it takes to achieve their goals, that in my opinion is a true sign of a skilled writer.

And you’ve done exactly that. I find myself wanting Malam’schir to succeed, cheering her on even when full well knowing that during the Lifeforce Coil she’s systematically torturing and murdering people to gain a better understanding of how that energy works before assimilating the lifeforce of those she’s killed into her own to bolster herself for the journey ahead. How detrimental this act becomes to her, as all the memories and personalities of all those she’s absorbed blend together. The gambles she takes as she descends into the Nine Hells and the risk all of this poses to her, not just physically, but on a fundamental level. The question of ‘is she still herself’ when all of those personalities merge and intermingle. What is truly her and what is inherited from all the souls she’s consumed. It’s fascinating and I can’t wait to see how it all turns out.

You’ve done an excellent job with your characters. They really feel like actual people, not mere concepts, but individuals with a will all their own. You bring them to life in such a spectacular way and it’s an honor to be able to write with you.

As a creator, I look up to you. You inspire me to go further and deeper, to explore beyond the world I created and reach out into the universe in which it exists. To explore my concepts on a cosmic scale rather than on a planetary one, and I thank you for that.

You’re a great friend, easy to talk to, fun to bounce ideas off of, and just an overall welcoming person. I’m glad to have met you and it makes me so happy that we’re friends. We’ve been mutuals since almost the beginning, sometime in March of 2018 or so, over the course of so many URL changes that I had to give you your own tag just to keep track of them all, and it’s been wonderful having you along for the ride. Thank you for your support through these years and for your continued interest in what I do.

I absolutely adore our ship and have so many ideas for what is to come for Reiko and Syn/Mala. Despite them both being terrible people, their relationship is so pure and beautiful. A love without expectations, one that doesn’t judge or hold the other to some sort of standard or code of conduct. A love with no burdens, but just simply being there with one another, enjoying the moment and each other’s presence. It’s so wonderful and I love every instance of it. Such rich emotion and such a profound love, even though both believe themselves unfit for love and unworthy of being loved. For such dangerous beings which such questionable morality, they are so sweet together. The fact that these two, who are ultimately very selfish individuals, would do anything to protect the other—even if it cost them their very lives���is so beautiful, it touches my heart.

I look forward to what is to come in the new year and hope to continue writing with such a wonderful writer for as long as I can, and I hope you too, feel the same way.

@sisterofthedevil​ / @cruentusscarlet​ / And more

Flan, you’re the reason I’m here in the first place. You were the first person I reached out to when I decided to come back here and enter the RP community. It was due to you that I got to join that first discord server, the first one I was ever in. It’s my home and I treasure it so much, so much so that even if that server is slowly declining, I’ll never leave it, because it’s the first place I got to call my home on discord. All of the friends I’ve made, all of them are thanks to that first step. If it wasn’t for you I might not have been able to make my place here. I’m so grateful for that. Even if we don’t talk much, I still consider you a good friend. And that’s not to mention how great of an RP partner you are.

Reiko and Flandre’s thread is one of my favorite threads I’ve had to date. I’ve loved every moment of it, it’s been such an intense roller coaster of emotions, and it’s probably the only thread where all of Reiko has been on full display. I hope going forward into 2020 that we can continue to write together.

You’re a great writer with such a unique style. Each one of your muses is fleshed out with intricate details and is a different spin on things, What with Flan having accidentally killed her sister and become the new mistress of the manor. Remilia embracing the role of being a terrifying monster and doing horrible things without batting an eyelash. Parsee being trapped not only emotionally and mentally, but spiritually and physically as well, unable to leave the bridge and be free. Satori, despite the horrors she’s witnessed, does not just follow suit to her species. You’ve given attention to every little detail, from the placement of her veins to the way she would have to put clothes on to accommodate them to the lasting effects of being able to read minds and bring other’s traumas to the surface. Alice is such a unique take on her as Shinki’s daughter, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything similar in regards to Alice’s origins and it’s amazing.

Each one of your muses shows how much thought you put into the characters you play and how dedicated you are to them. All of their trauma is very much real, and you portray it so well. There is never an easy fix to such problems, and you’ve done their struggles justice and shown just how hard it is to live with things like loss and abuse. Never does it feel like their trauma is overlooked or minimized, and their struggles with their demons and all the torment they’ve endured is very real, and how each one of them deals with their trauma in a different way shows such deep understanding of how different people react to things differently and everyone has their own way of coping.

I hope going into the next year that we’ll continue to RP together, there’s so much more I want to see and explore with your muses. You’re a great person, and I wish you all the best for the coming year.

@catacombofsouls​

Lina, we’ve only become mutuals rather recently compared to most on this list, but I’ve thoroughly enjoyed talking with you over these past months. It’s great to have someone to scream about The Case Study of Vanitas and Pandora Hearts with. You’re friendly and easy to talk to, and you’re always up for whatever ideas I come up with, or happen to mention. Really, you’re a very kind person and I enjoy your company. I hope going forward we’ll continue to be friends and RP partners for the foreseeable future.

I know with my recent lack of motivation that our threads haven’t gotten very far. With any luck, I’ll be able to regain my motivation and write more frequently. You have so many muses I want to interact with, particularly your OCs. Light is a very interesting character and I want to interact with her at some point in the future. I have quite a few ideas, but I don’t want to overwhelm you or myself for that matter, so once I get our threads going again and I’m not in draft hell, I’ll come to you with some even more fucking up ideas!

Thank you for reading Ivalinne’s story! I’m glad you enjoyed it, and I hope you’ll stick around for the stories to come! I’m glad you like my characters and I hope you’ll continue to enjoy what I create going forward.

@mayohigan-orange​​ / @witchwaltzing​

Cobalt, I know you don’t think you’re a good writer and all, but you really are. You’re not only fun to RP with, but fun to talk to as well.

Reiko and Chen’s interactions have been a wild ride, and a highly amusing one at that. Chen has such a feisty personality and she’s not afraid to speak her mind, or to even cuss someone out, regardless of who they are. Though that seems to get her in trouble more often than not. Between her picking fights with all the wrong people, and her devotion to those she cares about, Chen is joy to have around. Even with Ivalinne, who she hardly knows, she’s promised to keep her safe and she won’t betray her word. She’s an admirable little kitten who tries her best. She’s still very childish and her lack of worldly experience shows with just how easily Reiko has been able to get things to go her way, which still astounds me since that’s entirely unplotted and we just go with the flow with our threads.

At first glance, your Chen appears to be just the cute cat often seen in fanon, but once you get to know her, you see that there’s more to her than just that. You’ve developed her character and given her depth. Her eagerness to prove herself, to live up to her Master’s name and legacy, how desperate she is to do so despite the risks. How protective she is of those close to her, and even those she’s only recently met. She’s a good girl with a strong heart and even stronger convictions, and how passionate she is shows in not only her words, but her actions as well.

You don’t give yourself enough credit. You’re a great writer, and a fun RP partner who pushes themselves to do more. I seem to recall you not being too confident in fight threads, but here you are, writing one with me and doing it spectacularly. You’re dependable and reliable, probably one of the most reliable RP partners I’ve had the pleasure of writing with. You’ve never once dropped one of our threads, even though we have so many, and that’s something I greatly respect.

You’re a good friend. You’re easy to get along with, and you’re so casual and friendly, joking around and just overall are an enjoyable presence to have around. It makes me happy that you were so enthusiastic about Ivalinne’s story, to the point of wanting to change the ending. To have someone be so invested in something I wrote is amazing. I’ve done my job as a writer if I’ve made the reader feel for my characters and root for them, and I’m so glad you enjoyed it so much. Thank you for your support and your continued patronage, I hope you’ll continue to read my stories and continue to RP with me moving forwards into the coming year. Don’t doubt yourself, you’re a good writer, and I’m sure you’ll only get better as you go.

@soulwitch / @volatilepaths

Kako, you’re really just amazing on all fronts. You’re a great supportive friend, a calm voice of reason, and a wonderful and dedicated writer. You put so much of yourself into everything you do. You’re always there to help anyone who needs it, always willing to give advice and be there for those who are having a tough time, it’s really awe-inspiring just how much you give to not only the community as a whole, but to everyone you interact with. I know I’m frustrating to deal with at times, but you never give up on me, and I really appreciate that. So many others would have just been done with me, they wouldn’t have tried to work things out and make sure an understanding was reached. I’m really grateful for that. The problems I’ve come to you with, and you’ve helped me work through, I’m grateful for that, truly. You’re so friendly and accommodating, always wanting to make sure your partner is happy and comfortable, and that they’re enjoying how each and every thread goes. The way you put others needs ahead of your own is really admirable. You’re a great person, and you deserve all the best, really.

You writing is great, and your characters are amazing. You’re not afraid to delve into some really dark topics and that, in my opinion, takes a lot of courage. Jeanne is absolutely terrifying, through and through. She’s a great villain and a force to be reckoned with. A woman so utterly broken by all she’s been through that she’s become such a monster, one who cares not what evils she commits. She lies, she manipulates, she does whatever it takes to get what she wants, to satiate her desires. She’s a masterpiece of a villain, and I really need to find some way to get to see more of her. Reiko utterly despises her, and wants absolutely nothing to do with the woman, to stay as far away as she can and to keep Jeanne from encroaching upon her. They’ll never be able to get along thanks to Jeanne hitting upon the things she most abhors, so I’ll have to come up with something else, because I do want to interact with Jeanne. I want to see more of her, try to understand her better, she’s a character with a lot of depth, and I want to see more than just the surface.

Which brings me to the Redbellion event. Everything about that was amazing, Kako. From the story, to the interactivity, to the sheer size and the amount of time and thought put into everything. It was great and I’m glad to have been a part of it, even if it was only a small one due to my own anxieties. You were so helpful and accommodating, making sure I who was late to join, was able to get in on the action and feel like I made a difference in the event. I’m proud to have contributed, happy with what I got to do. It was fun reading through the various stories that came from it. I got invested in quite a few things and found my emotions swinging to the tune of your words. The androids that struggled to survive as they were divided between their mother and their nature as synthetic beings, Core who became a terrifying abomination, and Harune, who sacrificed all she held dear just to save this dying galaxy. It was a beautiful story and you did an amazing job bringing to life not just a single world, but an entire galaxy. It’s amazing what you did. You put so much time and effort into the whole thing. The sheer depth of your dedication and devotion is admirable. I could never hope to do something like that, let alone carry it all the way to the end. Your determination is amazing, and you have my deepest respect for your efforts.

You’re someone I look up to, someone I’m glad to know and happy to have the honor to write with. I know I haven’t been the best of RP partners, what with my sporadic activity and my flighty muses and motivation. I’m sorry for that, and I hope that I can do better in the coming year. You’re a great writer, an amazing person, and a wonderful friend, and you deserve all the best in the coming year.

@unhingedsea / @sophisticatedsuccubus / @justthatdamnrich / And more

Ellen, I know we haven’t spoken much recently, but I hope we’re still as close as we were a couple months ago. I miss having you check in on me and message me. I really enjoy your presence and love talking with you. Hearing about your ideas, how you’re branching out into fandomless OCs of your own setting, it makes me excited to see what you create. I hope you’ll bring them to tumblr so that we can interact and I can see more of them.

Your characters are a diverse mix of drastically different personalities. From Wada, who is batshit insane by any measure, to the shy and socially awkward 2pi, to the rage filled Klowni, you have such a varied mixture of characters. I’ve enjoyed the threads that we had, even though they were rather short-lived. I hope we’ll get to RP more in the coming year, I really want to see where things will go, especially with that thread between Reiko and Jo’on.

I know you’ve been struggling lately, feeling like what you’re doing has lost it’s appeal, and that you’ve lost touch with those who you once interacted with frequently, but I don’t think that’s the case. Everyone has been really busy lately for some reason, many people that were once frequent on the dash are active less these days, and it’s sad to see, but I don’t think it’s that they have lost interest in what you do. I for one haven’t, and I never will. You’re a joy to see on the dash and I hope you’ll come back and RP here more. I definitely want you around, and I’m sure others do too. So please, believe in yourself, I’m sure you can do it.

You’re such a great person. So friendly and welcoming, always cheering everyone on. You told me you swore to be that positive light for others, no matter what it takes, and that’s something amazing. Something I would never be able to do. I hope you won’t burn yourself out, because giving so much is a hard thing to do, especially in an unkind world. I hope you don’t give up, that you keep going and striving to be who you want to be. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m always here for you.

Thank you so much for being such a fan of Ivalinne’s story. When you told me that reading my writing, reading my story, motivated you into writing, I was honored. That my writing could have such a profound effect on someone, it’s unreal. I’m happy you enjoyed it and I hope you’ll continue to read as I write Eliyah’s story and more.

@fxtelism

Dennis, you’re a good friend and I’m grateful to have someone I can confide in about the things I can’t tell anyone else. You’re nice, friendly, and easy to talk to and get along with. I really appreciate your company.

Thanks to tumblr eating the notifications of our threads at every turn, we haven’t made much progress RP wise, but hopefully that will change in the coming year. I want to see more of your characters and get to know them, get more interactions, and develop our muses further. Leon is really sweet and it’s adorable how much of a flustered mess he is, it’s great. Soft boys are good! Manifestation is very interesting, an opposite to the kind and friendly person who he was created from. I’m curious to see where things could go with both of them. If just tumblr would stop eating notifications.

Now then, Ivalinne’s story. Thank you so much for reading. You have no idea how much it means to me. When you were reading and mentioned that one thing, I was so excited to see you get to the end. Having someone realize and notice things really is great. Probably the best feeling I’ve ever felt. I hope you enjoyed her journey and will continue to read the stories I’ll tell in the future, because I’ve got plenty more to tell!

@echointheforest

Marii, you’re a great friend, and thank you for all your support. You’re so welcoming and easy to talk to about literally anything. I never feel awkward talking to you about things, even though I sometimes worry I bother you too much.

ReiMarii is love, ReiMarii is life. I adore our ship. It’s the first ship I’ve ever had, and it’s been amazing. Thank you so much for introducing me to shipping, I’m so grateful for it. Shipping is so much fun, so full of feels, and I love it. I hope shipping with Reiko hasn’t been too angsty for you, it seems that no matter what, everything comes up bittersweet, and I hope that doesn’t upset you. I love how Reiko and Marii are together, it’s adorable. Everyone else only sees the surface, the bitchy exterior that woman presents to the world. and they  write her off as that being all there is to her. But there’s so much more to her than what’s on the surface, and exploring all that lies beneath it with you has been one of the greatest pleasures of this past year. Every interaction has been wonderful, I love every minute of it and I hope we’ll continue to interact more in the coming year.

I know you worry a lot about whether you’re a good RP partner, and while I’ve already said my piece on it to you, I’ll say it again. You’re a great RP partner. You’re in no way a shitty RP partner. You’re a joy to write with and I love interacting with you. Life has been hectic for you recently, but I hope it will calm down, so you don’t have to be so stressed and exhausted all the time. You’re a great person and you deserve the best. I hope we’ll continue to be friends and continue to interact through next year as well.

You’re the first person, and so far the only, to see Reiko’s core. You’ve seen a side of her no one else has experienced. Marii’s touched her heart, reached through the ice and rust and connected with her on a level not even she thought was possible anymore. If things continue the way they’ve been going, she might even end up telling Marii about her past, so I hope we’ll get to explore more and more of their relationship, sink the claws of love deeper into her heart. Maybe Marii can make her realize that being who she is isn’t as bad a thing as she thinks it is, maybe she could help her to accept that she’s not damaged or broken beyond repair. That she’s worth the love the youkai has given her. I want to see it, someone be able to reach her, to tell her it’s fine.

So I hope we’ll continue to write in the coming year, that we’ll continue to develop this tender, beautiful relationship between dark and light, because I’m excited to see where it goes. How deep it will get and how close they’ll become. The future is bright, and hopefully Marii can teach Reiko that as well.

@johnny-writes

Johnny, I know your retirement date is quickly approaching, and I’m sorry I haven’t fulfilled what I promised. I said I’d put priority on our threads, but I failed to deliver, and I apologize for that. I wish we could have had more threads, that I had met you sooner so we could have done more. It saddens me that soon, we won’t get to write together anymore. I’m going to miss you as an RP partner. I hope we can continue to be friends though, even if you’ll be leaving the RP community.

I know Mara and Tojava weren’t exactly planned characters for you. They were created from a meme and it all started from there. I like both of them, the concepts and tropes they’re meant to explore. I was looking forward to you writing their story, and though you got derailed during NaNoWriMo, I hope you’ll continue to work towards the completion of their tale.

The thread between Reiko and Mara was a very interesting one. I’m sorry my bitch of a muse made Mara cry, she didn’t deserve that at all and I still feel bad about it, but I enjoyed the thread nonetheless. Feels are fun, no matter what form they come in. The thread between Ivalinne and Kazuma was fun too, it’s a shame it won’t get to continue to the ending I had planned. It would have been a chance to show Ivalinne is more clever than most probably assume due to how most of her threads have gone. It’s a shame it will never come to pass.

Speaking of Ivalinne, thank you for reading her story! I appreciate your interest. When you told me you got hooked after the first two parts, I was overjoyed. I’m glad you liked it, and I hope you’ll continue to read Eliyah’s story as I write it.

You’re a good friend, a logical voice of reason, and I’m grateful for that. I know I’m not always the most reasonable person out there, but it really helps when there’s someone that can talk some sense into me. Thank you for your support this past year. I’ll miss having you around on the dash, sending asks in to my characters and I’ll miss seeing your characters around. But just because they aren’t around doesn’t mean that they don’t exist anymore. I look forward to seeing the story you tell with them, and I wish you all the luck with your plans for the future.

@geisthonoredferry

Koma, we’ve only met recently, but honestly you’re great. You’re so supportive of everyone, what with your little handwritten notes to people and all the positivity you spread, you’re a great influence on this community. This place needs lights like you, people that care about others and support them no matter what. You’re a blessing and I’m happy to call you my friend.

I hope in the coming year that we’ll be able to get some more interactions going. My motivation to write has been very low recently, and I’ve been overwhelmed by the sheer amount of drafts I have, but I’m not gonna give up! I’m going to reply to everything and keep moving forward.

Thank you for reading Ivalinne’s story, I’m glad you liked it and I hope that you’ll continue to read the things I put out and enjoy them all the same.

I really appreciate how much you care, how you check in on me to see how I’m doing, how you send positive little messages in the server and how you’re always doing your best to spread that cheer. You’re great, really. As both a writer and a friend. Though you should really stop lying to people and saying I’m cute. You’re the cute one here, not me.

@weaverstale / @draconianmyths

Kirbs, you’re great, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You’re so caring and compassionate, always concerned for everyone else and supporting them with positivity. Thank you for your support. I do appreciate it, really, even if I believe myself unworthy, it does make my day better. Don’t ever stop being that way.

We’ve both been low on writing motivation lately, and that really sucks. I want to RP more with you. Orochi is very interesting, and my dumb thot of a muse can’t resist an attractive man. Or an attractive women, as Konoe proves. She really just can’t resist attractive people in general really. I hope going into the next year that we’ll be able to have more threads and interactions.

You’re a good friend and you’re easy to talk to. I know at times our...interests in conversation topics just don’t always match, I apologize for that. I am but a shy nervous bean, naive and innocent about such topics. Regardless, I do enjoy talking to you, and I hope we’ll continue to be friends in the future.

@magicaldreaming​

Xana, I know we’ve only become mutuals recently, but I’ve really enjoyed speaking with you. I love hearing about your OCs, it’s fascinating. You’re easy to talk to and really chill, and I appreciate that. I hope we’ll continue to talk and be friends in the coming year.

As for RPs, you’re an amazing writer with some amazing muses. Krolia was one of the first I seen, through your threads with another blog I follow. Krolia immediately caught my eye, she’s very strange in a curious and interesting way. She’s an ancient being with a love for modern technology, idol music, and junk food, and it’s adorable.I really want to have a thread with her someday, once I manage to get my draft situation under control. I hope to see more of her, she’s really interesting.

But probably my favorite muse of yours currently is Celia. I read along with her threads in Redbellion, and honestly, they were my favorite. I love her journey throughout the event, going from an emotionless killing machine intent to cleanse all biological life from the universe, to realizing the true beauty of life, and realizing she had set in motion the destruction of an entire galaxy full of it. How she fought so desperately as the end of all was looming over her, how much she regretted what she had done, and how badly she wished to right the wrongs she committed. How she gave her all to save people. to protect them from the menace she had unleashed, and how she gave her life, her light, in order to save everyone. The woman that once sought to exterminate all life sacrificed her own to save what remained, and that is beautiful. I teared up when she started to fade into slumber and go dormant. You did an amazing job building up her character and her development was spectacular. I look forward to see where she goes from here, now that her outlook on the world has so drastically changed. With any luck, I’ll regain my motivation and be able to see that hope through with our thread!

All in all, you’re a great writer, never doubt your talent. It really shows a writer’s skill when they make you feel for and root for an evil character. That’s so much harder to accomplish than simply having the reader side with the hero. Any writer that can do that has my respect, just as you do.

@fragmentedsilhouette

Sage, I know you’re not really on tumblr much anymore, but I’m going to list you here anyways. You’re a good friend, calm, easy to talk to, and your company is enjoyable. I should really talk to you more.

I miss seeing Amaeris on the dash, she really was a great character. Well thought out and of questionable moral standing (Wait a second most of the characters I’ve spoken of here have been that way...Do I have a thing for that type?!) A shadow of her former self, literally. A deceased ruler of an ancient empire aiming to regain her former glory and rebuild her kingdom anew, so that she may reclaim what she had in life. You put a lot of thought into her and I wanted to see where she would go, if she’d ever be able to take back what was taken from her.

I hope one day we can write together again. The brief instances when we did were enjoyable. Maybe sometime next year? Who knows, but one can hope!

@moonternity

Lilli, we may have never gotten to RP on tumblr, and we might not have RPed all that much in general, but I think you deserve to be mentioned here as well.

When we first met two years ago, you hated my guts and told me straight out. I admired that honesty, since honesty is something I value. You gained my respect by being so honest about your feelings. I wanted to be friends with such an honest person, someone who wouldn’t lie to me and who’d tell me flat out if I fucked up. So I wanted to win you over, and as you know, I did, and that made me so happy.

I’m glad to be your friend. Happy that you want me around. It means a lot to me, truly. I enjoy your company, the fun we’ve had with the campaign, and even just talking to you. Thank you for being my friend, for giving me my first D&D experience, and for just being you.

---

And thank you to all my followers, both on the RP Side Blog where I actually do all of my writing and to all the followers here, whether you’ve just followed the wrong blog or not! Thank you for your support! I hope I can continue to write more and more in the years to come!

Happy New Year to you all!

[emeraldtawny]

Mitsuhide x MC: Prize or Punishment

Another anon with another Mitsuhide request:

Hi. I saw that your requests were open. May I request some Ikesen Mitsuhide fluff with a good amount of spice? Everything else is up to you. Thank you.

I guess I write him well if I get requests for him more often than other characters ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ have some good floof and spoice for your day. Hope you enjoy~ ;3

The soft breeze caressing your cheek. The faint smell of dew-kissed flowers still in the air even in the early afternoon. You’re blissfully unaware of the spring in your step as you walk through the Azuchi Castle corridors. A smile plastered on your face, you recount your eventful morning: how you got your two sewing commissions delivered on time and the looks of delight as they received them, how you were blessed with cuddles with Shogetsu - with Masamune laughing the entire time. And that’s not to mention the fact of how lovely a day it is, the sun seeming to manifest your positivity into the sun’s beaming rays of light.

Humming a simple tune to the beat of your spritely steps, you’re near on skipping through the halls. And your expression somehow brightens as you cross paths with the man who is never too far from your thoughts and daydreams.

He appears unaware of your presence as he emerges from the council room, but you’ve learned to know better. Sure enough, his strikingly resplendent golden eyes meet your own and he watches as you prance up to him, yourself fairly certain how he is unknowing of the softness his gaze holds.

“Good afternoon, princess. And what is that unfairly beautiful smile for?”

“What, this one?” You make an overemphasised grin, flashing your teeth and barely holding back a giggle. Mitsuhide watches in silent delight, “It’s just been a really good day today. And it’s even better now that I’ve seen you.”

His baritone chuckle radiates into the air, the sound tickling your insides as if it was the first time you heard his sonorous expression of joy, “Is that so? I’m honoured.”

You watch as his eyes flick to scan the door beside him, the subtle discussions of the other warlords heard through the thin walls.

“Is the council still going?”

“Yes. I was only able to leave due to my prior commitments.”

You quirk your eyebrow at his words, “If you have other things you should be doing, then why did you stop to talk to me?”

You know full well of Mitsuhide’s way of working: keeping his loved ones as isolated as possible to minimise the danger. Unfortunately, that way of working always puts intense pressure on him and no matter how much he says he handles it, you can tell immediately when he’s at his worst - his fingers clawing through his hair as if it’ll somehow grant him more time, the dark circles under his eyes making his usually ethereally pale skin appear ghostly and frail. Those were difficult times, ones that you have tried your best to help him through. In reality, you have no idea how much you have saved him and how much he cherishes you for it.

His razor-thin smile widens, lips tilting into a sultry smirk. Your breath catches, recognising that alluring smile - his trap laid for his wonderful, yielding prey. He saunters closer to you as he would any other time, but you can feel the energy surrounding him and how it flares with ulterior motives. Instinctively taking a step back, he naturally follows and it dawns on you how quickly and how effortlessly he has you in the palm of his hand. That same palm caging you in as your back hits the wall, his domineering presence looming over you taking in your expression of shock and excitement with mirth.

“Because you happen to be my said prior commitment. I wished to see you and decided I didn’t want to wait until after council to do so.”

“Oh--”

The sweet blush that develops on your cheeks has Mitsuhide chuckling again. He leans down so his face is level with yours, your noses barely touching as his amused, spark-filled eyes meld with your own.

“I’m glad I caught you when I did. You shouldn’t be showing such a dazzling, lovely smile to everyone. Some people might get the wrong idea.”

Each word is drawn out specifically to tune the shivers they play from your body. His rogue hand settles against your outer thigh, sliding teasingly up your leg. Heat erupts despite the layers of kimono between your bare skin and his, the subtle patterns his fingers draw to life holding your attention before his lips move closer to your ear, goosebumps prickling on your skin at his proximity.

“A-about what?” You manage to wring the words from your throat. You sharply inhale as you feel his lips move against the shell of your ear, entranced by how he takes the time to enunciate each syllable so you can fully experience the spine-tingling sensation.

“About thinking they can claim you when you’re already mine.” He huffs a short laugh, his nose exhaling air against your ear, making you gasp in anticipation, “I suppose I’ll just have to make my mark so everyone knows that the princess of Azuchi mingles with a shadowy snake.”

Your brows pinch at his choice of words. You place your hands on his shoulders, pushing him back. He relents easily, letting himself be distanced so you can meet his gaze, your eyes shining with resolve.

“You’re not a snake. You’re a wonderful person, so please don’t belittle yourself like that, okay?”

It wasn’t the first time he has heard this, nor will it be the last, yet his heart is filled with affection by your sweetly naive, yet utterly pure words. He smiles, eyes narrowing with love, and moves his hand to cup your cheek. He moves back in close, your eyelids flickering shut as he dusts sweet kisses over each one. The smile blooming across your face is more radiant and all-encompassing than the sun, Mitsuhide thinks to himself.

“You’re too good to me, dear ___.” Your smile widens at the passionate lilt in his voice, “Now then, as a prize, what would you like me to do to you?”

You bite your lip, eyes remaining closed yet feeling his observant gaze on you. Before you can voice an answer, the short, fierce nip of pain on your earlobe jolts you from your reverie, a small gasp escaping into the air.

“Mitsuhide!” You shout-whisper, grabbing his shoulders in a vain attempt to push him back, “We’re in public, and Nobunaga and the others are right next door!”

“I’m aware, so I suggest you come up with a prize quickly, or else.”

The dangerous implications in those last two words thrill you more than you’d ever admit. Luckily, you don’t have to as Mitsuhide can read you eloquently from the look of desire overtaking you.

“Or else, what?”

He chuckles again, the sound dark yet twisted with sweetness, the underlying message in that sound undeniable to you. He cranes his neck, like a snake charmed by its master, to press a fleeting kiss to your jawline.

“Or else it becomes a punishment instead. And I promise you, it’ll be a long, drawn-out punishment.”

His emphasis on “drawn-out” has you quivering, hands gripping his kimono tightly in hopes of keeping you stable. You let out a sensual sigh as his tongue flicks out to follow the line of your jaw up to your ear.

“Mitsuhide--”

The way you say his name leaves little to the imagination of what you want. With a satisfied exhale, he swiftly moves to sweep one arm under your shaky legs and lift you into the air. You blink in surprise, arms automatically moving to wrap around his neck on impulse. Mitsuhide smiles at you, an almost imperceptible blush donning his cheeks, a rare sight for the emotionally conservative kitsune.

“I’ve teased both of us enough, I think. Let’s continue this someplace where I can be rewarded for my labours, shall we?”

A barely repressed “Mm” of pleasure is all the answer he needs from you. He supports your back as he carries you through the halls like the princess you are, heading towards your room for Mitsuhide’s “prior commitment”.

[greyias]

Dialogue prompts (right back at you ;) ): 12. “So I noticed you’re naked. Is that intentional…or..?”

Sort of a sequel/follow-up to this story.

Theron had always known that introducing Jonas Balkar to the Alliance at large was going to be a mistake. There was a reason he’d kept their meetings to neutral locations attached to neither Republic nor Alliance strongholds. It was just good business. Not to mention that when both spies got into the same room, Theron somehow seemed to always wind up with at least one black eye.

And if Theron could have had his way, he would have made damn sure that Jonas and the Alliance’s Commander never met up — although that had less to do with Alliance business and more to do with wanting to keep his wife far, far away from Jonas’s endless flirting. Unfortunately recent events meant Theron no longer had the luxury of keeping all the spheres of his life neat and separate.

Sadly.

“So I noticed you’re naked,” Jonas said a little too casually, not bothering to hide his smirk as he waggled the calendar in Theron’s direction. “Is that intentional…or…?”

“Are you asking if I just forgot to wear my clothes for a calendar shoot?”

“It’s an honest question!” Jonas insisted. “You have to admit, it wouldn’t be the first time.”

Theron shot a glare first at his fellow spy, and then at his wife who let out an indignant snort. Both of them answered the look with a winning smile, which just made him wrinkle his nose in disgust. This was the other reason he didn’t want these two to get chummy — they had far too many stories they could share with each other. And both had grown immune to his glares.

“First off, I’m wearing a bow so technically I’m not naked. And secondly, I have never once forgotten my clothes,” Theron said indignantly.

“What about on the Ascendant Spear?” Grey asked curiously.

“I didn’t forget them there. It was a strategic decision based on—”

“My dear Commander,” Jonas cut in, “when my friend says ‘strategic decision’ what he really means is a five-second impulse he couldn’t smother.”

“I don’t believe that for a moment,” the love of Theron’s life said, sticking up for him.

“Thank you,” he said emphatically, “at least someone—”

“You will need to show me proof that he’s ever actually successfully resisted an impulse.”

“Hey! That’s not fair!” he protested. “I think everything I do through.”

The high, disbelieving eyebrow arched at him spoke volumes as she just stared at him, casually running one finger along the rim of her glass.

“Name one impulsive thing I’ve done.”

She cleared her throat, brow somehow managing to arch higher as she subtly mimed a train running along a gravtrack. Theron felt heat rush to his cheeks and very quickly took a long sip from his glass of whiskey as Jonas struggled to contain his laugh. Technically that answer was incorrect because he had put a lot of planning and forethought into that whole operation — but he was also smart enough to know there was no winning any conversation or argument when that subject came up.

“The real question is,” he fumbled awkwardly, trying to switch topics, “how many copies of that thing you have.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Yes. That’s why I asked.”

Grey shot him a wide, dimpled smile, the freckles on her cheeks standing out prominently against the rosy hue that had taken up residence after her second glass of Durindfire. It almost matched the soft red glow of the phosphorescent drink, and he suspected was responsible for the appearance of that damned calendar. Rum seemed to bring out the Jedi’s flirtatious side, and so he’d steered her towards what he’d thought would be a much safer alcoholic beverage for this outing. Clearly he had miscalculated and summoned a mischievous imp instead.

“Well, I always have a copy in my quarters on my ship because—”

“Anyway,” Theron said loudly before that explanation could go any further, “the point remains is that these are isolated incidents. I got talked into posing in the nude for a charity calendar and just one time I was stuck in a broiling engine room and stripped down so I wouldn’t stain my undercover clothes. There is no pattern.”

“What about the goat?” Jonas asked.

“Goat?” Grey echoed as she peered into the glowing remnants of her glass and missed Theron’s desperate gesture for Jonas to stop talking.

A brief, but elaborate pantomime routine ensued, where Jonas re-enacted a few key moments from the incident in question, and Theron tried to illustrate exactly how he would murder and where he’d bury his fellow spy’s body if he told the story. It was followed by a series of silent negotiations that Theron wasn’t sure the exact parameters of, but was pretty certain he’d just agreed to craft a new identity for Jonas to carouse around Nar Shaddaa in. Which maybe was fair since he’d accidentally gotten his friend banned from every classy establishment on the moon.

“No, no, I think the lovely lady misheard me,” Jonas said smoothly as Grey looked up at the two spies blinking back at her innocently, “I said bet.”

She frowned, looking back at her empty glass. “Maybe I’ve had too much to drink.”

“Perhaps,” Theron said, hand unconsciously drifting to rest on her knee as he shot a disgruntled look at Jonas that was clearly meant to say ‘stop flirting with my wife’.

Jonas’s toothy grin clearly replied back that he was making no promises in that regard, but aloud announced, “Nonsense! I’ll order us another round.”

“No, I want to hear about this bet first!” she insisted.

Theron rolled his eyes up to the many, many decorative durasilk coverings draped along the tall ceiling in the cantina, wondering what he’d ever done to deserve this. Other than the incident with the stupid train. And stealing Jonas’s identity to infiltrate a fancy restaurant. Or the—okay. Maybe he’d done a few things, if he were being completely honest with himself.

“Well, it was almost Life Day, and we had just finished up an assignment where I’d saved this idiot’s life.”

“That sounds about right,” Grey said, “go on.”

Theron let out an annoyed huff, but decided to let it slide this time. The sooner this was over with, the sooner he could shuffle his very inebriated Jedi back to the Defender and get her to bed. And then hopefully search the entire vessel stern to bow for more copies of that damnable calendar that he could toss into the incinerator.

“The exact details of the assignment aren’t important (not to mention classified)—“ Jonas ignored the very un-Jedilike derisive snort, “—but someone who shall not be named, because I am bound by Republic law to not disclose sensitive information, nearly blew the entire operation at a certain privately owned moon because he got asked to do a few minor IT calls.”

“Look, you would have snapped too if you’d had to see what that Special Executive had done to his computer terminal!”

At the mention of a privately owned moon, as well as the unique corporate title, Grey frowned. “Wait, when was this?”

“14 ATC.”

“That’s… around the same time the Republic began to seize Czerka’s assets. And I had to head to CZ-198 to disable a very dangerous security system and take on a Special Executive by the name of Rasmus Blys.” Theron took another long sip from his whiskey and Jonas mirrored the action as they both looked anywhere but at the blonde now staring at both of them suspiciously. “Awful strange timing.”

“Yeah,” Theron coughed, “it’s, uh, very coincidental.”

“Truly,” Jonas agreed. 

“I haven’t had enough alcohol for this,” she muttered. “What does this have to do with a bet?”

“Genius here,” Jonas thumbed in the direction of his former partner, “made a wager that he’d be able to uncover the top secret intel we’d need as a lowly network technician.”

“I’m a damn good slicer,” Theron insisted, “it was a sure thing! And Ras—I mean, this unnamed executive practically had tech support as the first entry in his holodex. All I had to do was get in, get the intel, and get out. No one would be the wiser.”

“Funny. And what did you find on these tech support calls again?”

“Porn,” Theron groaned, covering his face with his hands, “so much porn.”

Jonas couldn’t contain his smirk. “Needless to say, things quickly went sideways, and we had to make a hasty exit.”

“What was the wager?” Grey asked curiously.

“I, uh, may have boasted that I was so sure my plan would work, that I would march an entire lap around Carrick Station.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad,” she said.

“In nothing but his ‘Life Day briefs’,” Jonas said, forming air quotes.

A high-pitched giggle escaped the inebriated Jedi and she leaned onto the table towards Jonas, nearly spilling what was left of both glasses of whiskey. “Please, please tell me you have holos.”

“Master Jedi, you wound me!” Jonas sounded almost offended. “Of course I do.”

As he reached for a small datapad stowed away in an inner pocket of his jacket, Theron let out a world weary sigh. He was never going to hear the end of this.

The Nekkid Theron Life Day Parade from December 2018, featuring Theron Shan (x4), Disaster Spyprincess, @keldae, @andveryginger, Sir-Jaydzia-Without-a-Tumblr, and @stephyhimemademe (who said I had to find a way to work it in to a story where Theron had lost a bet with Jonas — luckily I had already started on this prompt, so it worked out nicely ;)

[squiddybeifong]

Meeting the Sirens

Harley could honestly admit to never paying attention to how amazing plants were at camouflage. It made sense to a certain extent with the natural world, but when one mixed Raven’s darkness with Pam’s powers, it gave the impression that Hell could be nothing more than a jungle on fire.

Sapphire eyes watched as cacti scuttled closer and vines slithered along the walls, hidden by the usual shadows. Their leaves curled in on themselves before they aimed towards Raven and the shadows darted away, forcing the plants to scramble into better hiding as Pam tried to keep the upper hand.

Harley ran a tongue over her teeth and forced out a laugh, sliding in between her kinda-girlfriend and her kinda-niece and tossing an arm around them both. “Come on, you two!” She pulled them close until their cheeks touched, spinning to beam at Talia and Kitty, “We can all get along, can’t we?”

Three glares and one look of pure apathy greeted her suggestion. “It’s bad enough you brought her--” Selina started, not taking her glare off of the assassin.

Ivy continued her sentence, all but sneering at the teen, “But why the fuck would we ever trust a hero?” The botanist’s glare deepened, the vines shifting in preparation again.

Emerald eyes widened half an inch as Raven forced to vines to stay in place, the darkness freezing the walls around them. The two superpowered women stared at each other for a long moment, uncaring to how Harley sheepishly squeezed their shoulders.  

After an impossibly long minute, the clown started to squirm and the Titan shrugged, “Your grudges are fair enough.”

She lifted her hand and made sure that Poison Ivy saw the magic fall away from her palm. Raven silently lowered herself until she stood on the floor and crossed her arms over her chest, rolling her jaw once before offering an olive branch, “But from what Harley’s told me we both despise Zatanna.”

The redhead raised a brow, a humorless laugh escaping, “That’s it?”

“I’m also an empath.” Pam straightened her back at that information. Raven glanced at Catwoman out of the corner of her eye, addressing the green-skinned woman in front of her, “And I’d imagine that while I’m not as fond of her as you seem to be, we all don’t mind Harley dragging us away with her shenanigans.”

A pale hand raised from underneath her cloak, “That’s at least two things we have in common.”

Talia finally spoke up, “Three if you count having powers.”

Selina snorted at her interjection and Harley turned to them, her eyes brightening up as she tried to get her two friend groups to get along. Pam and Raven didn’t seem that close to killing each other, so she focused on getting Kitty and Talia from trying to glare each other out of existence, “And I bet you two have stuff in common too!”

Almost immediately after the words left her Harley sucked her teeth, wincing as she remembered the last time they had met. Raven shifted at the emotions in the room, letting out a silent hum as her shadows drifted closer to her.

Amethyst eyes flicked to Ivy as she let out a huff, “Not this again.”

The teen didn’t ask, but her question was loud in the air. Talia kept Selina in her line of sight as she shifted to explain, “We’ve had the same lover.”

Raven arched a brow, her mild amusement obvious even despite her hood shadowing half her face. She tilted her chin towards Ivy, “Batman seems to just attract criminals, doesn’t he?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Yes,” Talia hummed, displeasure rolling off her in waves. “He surrounds himself with more and more incompetence after every switch.”

Harley emphatically nodded her head at the statement behind her words. She patted the assassin’s arm, “Oh, so Batman ditched you? That’s rough, buddy.”

Selina narrowed her eyes despite the haughty smirk on her face, her hands curling into fists as she shot out to the goth, “He ditched her for me.”

“Wait, so you were the rebound? That’s rough too, Kitty.” Harley seemed to catch herself, her head snapping back to Talia. “I, uh, I mean…”

The blonde glanced at Raven, looking for some emphatic help. When nothing came she rushed out, “That sucks, my gals who can hopefully be pals?”

Raven crossed her arms over her chest, “This is an awful conversation.” Violet eyes turned to the botanist and she inched closer, “I’m sensing at least four deaths that have taken place here in the past two months. Care to show me around?”

Her request was met with a curious stare. After a contemplative moment the vines seemed to relax around them, a tangle of flowered stems curling to make a sort of hallway near their feet. A lazy grin curled black-lipsticked lips.

“Sure,” Ivy waved at the mystic to follow and away they went. Green shoulders shrugged, “If Robin--no, he’s a different bird now, right?”

“Nightwing.”

“Yeah. If he asks, they were all eco-terrorists that went missing.”

Raven snorted, her face curious as Pam added, a lilt to her voice, “There’s also a bunch of mushroom patches over their graves. They’re just full of poison; you’ll love them.”

The demoness perked up at that, “Any death caps?” Pine eyes flicked to her and Raven amended, “You’re Poison Ivy. I’d expect you to have at least a few of this planet’s best.”

“I’ve got better than that. Look up there,” Raven followed her pointed finger, her eyes lighting up as she spotted a white patch clumped along the rusty rivets. Pam watched as she floated up a few inches until they were practically the same height. A rare smile curled the stoic’s face, “I didn’t know Gotham was humid enough to support destroying angels…”

“You don’t know a lot about Gotham just yet.” The redhead nudged her elbow, starting to walk again. She bit her lip and decided to give this hero one allowance; if Harley loved her and she seemed morally gray enough to mingle with Batman’s enemies, then Raven was not yet trustworthy but slightly okay in her book. “And you can call me Pam, by the way.”

Raven tilted her head, giving the siren a thin but genuine smile, “Pam, then. Shall we go?” She motioned to where the vines were laid out for them to follow, “Those spirits aren’t going to be put to rest otherwise.”

Her words got an ‘Aha!’ and a snap as recognition filled the redhead’s aura, “Is that why all of our stuff has been moving around when we aren’t here? I told Harley no one alive was stupid enough to keep breaking into our place…”

Harley watched them go out the doors with a pout, turning back to see Talia had a hand on her sword’s hilt and Cat was tense, poised for a fight with her claws unretracted, if curled into fists.  

Quickly skipping in between them, the blonde tried to stall.

Her hands clasped in front of her chest as she wiggled her shoulders, thinking of something, anything, to prevent the fighting before it really began. Not that she couldn’t take care of any brawls, of course, but her friends were supposed to be getting along, dammit!

When nothing came to mind, she thought of how she’d distract the Joker whenever he got in his funks. And while neither of the two villainesses in front of her seemed opposed to potentially joining her in bed (though that was more up Pam’s alley, honestly), the answer came to her: both Kitty and Tally Marks were awful when it came to withstanding annoyances.

Her eyes bright, the blonde spoke a single word.

“Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo--,” Harley held it for a few seconds, paused to take a breath, and continued on as long as she could, “--oooooooooooooooooo…”

A clawed finger jerked out to press against her lips, “Shut up.”

Talia tensed at the move and Harley twisted away to speak up again, “Right, right. Cool, cool, cool, this is so cool that we’re all meeting again like this.” Harley rubbed at the back of her neck as her eyes darted around the room, considering asking the cactus where Ivy and Birdie went off to.

But she was the bridge and she had to stall the inevitable fight (again). The clown clicked her tongue and spoke freely and impulsively, “So, you two both fucked Batsy then?”

Neither women moved but two green glares landed on her. Deciding that she had to out-tension them both, Harley flipped one of her pigtails over her shoulder, “Hey, at least y’all got something in common, amirite?”

She rocked on her heels, “I mean, jeez. Wanting to cuddle with raspy-voiced bats. I know that feeling.”

That got Talia’s attention. Her eyes didn’t stray from Catwoman, but her temple tilted towards her friend, “Are you in love with my Beloved as well?”

“Ugh. Gods, no,” Harley’s face scrunched up at the mere thought. Shaking her head, she puffed her chest and buffed her checkerboard nails on her shirt, “I’m more-a Fidget kinda gal, myself.”

When neither reacted the blonde looked between them, her eyes comically widening, almost in slow motion. Blinking rapidly, Harley let her astonishment fill her voice, “Please say you guys remember Fidget? He’s one of Disney’s best characters in one of their best movies. Of all time.”

Selina couldn’t hold back her snort and Harley waved her thinly-veiled mockery aside, answering the look of confusion on Talia’s face, “He was the bat in ‘the Great Mouse Detective.’ Great film, by the way.”

Blue eyes smugly bored into Cat’s face, “Waaaaay better than ‘the Aristocats,’ despite the lies Kitty may believe.”

Smiling, she strolled back to face her favorite evil heiress, “Now I wouldn’t so much as ever think of fucking him --y’know Kitty’s the furry of the group-- but I can see getting to know the baby. Maybe even plan a heist or three after Rati--”

Selina drawled out, “Don’t spoil her.”

Talia watched the way Harley’s face lit up, “So you have seen it!”

“Yes. You make us watch it all the time.”

“Well I didn’t realize you were so busy thinking of a different bat the whole time. I just figured you purring about milk was a feline thing. Sorry for assuming, Kit-Kat.”

Annoyed, an irritated sigh forced its way out of Talia. She rolled her jaw, her fingers drumming against the metal of her sword’s guard, “You two tire me in the worst of ways.”

A high-pitched laugh escaped Harley as she dove into a hug, her palms hastily wrapping around Talia’s waist to prevent the assassin’s sword from being unsheathed. Giggling against the taller woman’s shoulder Harley sighed into the air, “Ray Ray was right this is just awful. We can find a different connection besides Batman, right?”

Talia and Selina didn’t stop their glare-off but the blonde paid them no mind, her words coming a beat faster than usual, “Like how we all break the law! Or how you both really appreciate having me in your lives? Oh! What about how both your names end with ‘A,’ that’s gotta be worth something!”

Her nose scrunched as she kept thinking, the idea coming to her effortlessly after a few seconds of silence, “Oh! I got it!” She held out her hands, making a square out of her fingers and closing one eye as if painting a picture in the air. Harley’s grin was loud in her declaration, “Strawberry milkshakes.”

Selina let out a huff through her nose, “Neutral ground won’t keep us from wanting to kill each other, Harls.”

“You never know. That’s what happened with Tal and Rae and me. Oh!” Blonde brows jumped an inch above sapphire eyes as a place came to mind, “How about we go to that burger diner that the Bats sometimes goes to.”

Talia tilted her head to the side, knowing the girl’s connection to the city’s protectors. “I doubt Raven will agree to that.”

“She’ll agree. But it’ll be reluctant.” Harley pitched forward and aimed a finger gun to both, her smile widening to a grin, “Just like your truce.”

Two aggravated sighs came from her words and Catwoman’s lips tightened in annoyance, “Not likely.”

Talia glowered when the blonde clasped her hands above her collar, Harley’s growing pout accompanying her dilating eyes, “No. We’re not as susceptible as the other two to your looks.”

A lazy laugh slipped out of the blonde, “Something else y’all have in common?”

The assassin’s glower deepened at her words. And while she’d never admit to the troublesome way Harley’s eyes grew and her lower lip quivered, Talia had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep her resolve. Without putting too much attention on her rival, she knew Catwoman was doing the same.

Olive eyes rolled in annoyance and Talia sheathed her sword, grumbling out, “I won’t attack her tonight.”

Selina shrugged one shoulder and retracted her claws. She crossed her arms over her chest and glanced between the two, “These meetings only last the night, correct?”

“Yep!” Harley popped the ‘P,’ practically bouncing on her feet at the way the tension in the room was lessening. The clown looked like a kid in a candy store and both Bat-lovers rolled their eyes.

“Then I guess we can get along for a few hours.” The Cat glanced at Talia out of the corner of her eye, a tiny smirk quirking her lips, “For Harley’s sake.”

“Agreed.”

[lisinfleur]

Uncrowned Queen

Author’s Notes | This was an idea suggested by my sweet @ivarsrideordie while we were talking to dear Ida Marie Nielsen on Instagram! After the stories where she cried talking about Margrethe’s end, me and sweet @ivarsrideordie commented and for an impulse, I said it would be good to imagine Sweet Margrethe was now in Sigurd’s arms, in Valhalla. Well… It would be good to imagine… Universe | Vikings Pairing | Sigurd x Margrethe Info | Viking Age AU, Valhalla interaction (incorrect quotes from heathenry, do not take it as study reference!), Sigurd’s POV, a “thank you” gift for Ida Marie Nielsen’s awesome work. Words | 1016 ⁑ Warnings: Mentions of death, wrong heathenry quotes, romance, and some ANGST.

So much fear…

She was still sobbing, still trembling and gasping as if that knife was still cutting her throat when she came into my arms, delivered by Hella herself – not too pleased of losing one of her deserved ones.

But despite Ivar’s acid words about it, my music had pleased the gods in Valhalla and this granted me a favor with them.

A favor Hella couldn’t deny when I asked for my dear Margrethe.

As my slave, she could follow me into Valhalla and so, I used this to ask for her.

If I ever knew how much she would suffer in his hands, I would never have open hands of my love for her to allowing Ubbe to make her his wife.

If I ever knew he would tie her like an animal, I would have fought for her and make my love prevail over his right as the oldest son of my parents.

To me, who never claimed anything, it wouldn’t be denied.

And she would have been my wife. Never a queen, for I was never made a king, but a princess. My princess. A free woman as she deserved to have been.

She would have mourned my death, but what was mine would be hers and she would never be alone and helpless once again. She would be safe as my widow and no one would be able to take it from her.

No one would ever leave her behind as Ubbe did.

I would punch my brother in the face if I could. But as if it wasn't enough to break his oaths towards her for another, he was now calling himself a Christian, turning his back on us, his brothers, his father, his ancestors, his gods...

Better this way, for Hvitserk would sit by my side and I would pour his mead for his actions towards my sweet Margrethe. Among my brothers who shared her bed and the pleasures she gave to us, he was the only man enough to hold her in his arms as I was doing now and carry her under his cloak even when the madness had taken her mind and she was nothing like we used to know and love.

I would pour his mead, serve his plate and receive my brother as what he was: the blood of my blood and the flesh of my flesh. And he would ever be welcome beside me and my sweet queen.

My uncrowned queen...

So fragile in my arms, so hurt and mistreated.

I placed her in noble furs.

I cleaned her skin with a soft cloth and pure water.

I exchanged the rags she was dressing for a silky dress to cover the marked skin.

And for the marks in her wrists, armrings of gold from the treasures I had brought with me to Odin's Halls.

I braided her hair with beautiful flowers and caressed her sleeping skin.

And when her eyes opened one more time, it was my face she saw, smiling at her.

"Sigurd? Where am I? Am I dead? I'm dead... I'm dead! They killed me!" she cried, confused, scared.

But I embraced her with soft arms. I cradled her against my chest and my voice sounded sweet to her scared ears.

"Hush... Hush, sweet Margrethe. The pain is over now. The suffering is over now and so it's over the slavery. Rest, my sweet queen. You're safe now... In my heart".

She cried against my chest for a while, but soon the cry became sobs and the sobs became nothing. And when the cry was gone, I felt her arms around me one more time; her head softly resting in my shoulder.

"I made the wrong choice, didn't I?" she asked, feeling my fingers caressing her face softly.

"You made the choices you thought you have to do to survive, my love," I answered, tenderly.

"I made the wrong choice," she affirmed this time, and I felt her nose nuzzling against my skin until her forehead was touching mine.

Her delicate hands cupped my face, so long untouched by her lovely caresses. And her voice sounded like a melody to my ears.

"I should have followed my heart. I should have married you." She sobbed again, threatening to cry one more time. "But now, I'm mad. Mad, mad Margrethe. I'm dead and lost".

It was my time to cup her face and look softly in her eyes.

"You're right, you're dead. But not lost and not mad. At least, not anymore. Hvitserk was right, my dear queen. You just need to rest".

She touched my lips one more time and then touched her forehead with mine.

"Hvitserk will be so sad...".

I could feel my brother's anger. He got himself drunk and mourned for her, but Hvitserk had his own fate. And I knew the gods had something prepared for him.

"Don't weep for him, my love. He has the favor of Lady Skuld for he chose to trust his fate more than he trusts his heart. He jumped that ship and sided with Ivar, even when his heart went away with Ubbe back to Kattegat. She must reward him for his loyalty and if don't, one day he shall enter the halls of Valhalla and we'll receive him properly, my queen".

She laid softly over the furs I provided for her, and I saw her lips curving in a smile.

"You're calling me "queen"..."

I smiled back, caressing her face.

"All sons of Ragnar are kings among the warriors in Valhalla. I'm also a king, although I have no crown. Even an uncrowned king shall have his queen by his side. So from now on, you're my queen. With or without a crown, your reign is my heart."

She raised her hand and smiled when she touched my face.

"Then I shall reign with love. And care for my lands as I never cared for anything else. My sweet king..."

I leaned my head, kissing her forehead and smiling at her.

"Sleep, sweet Margrethe. And now, enjoy good dreams"

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Shadowhunters 3x16, Stay With Me -- Review

Well, it finally happened. Yes, this day, the day that aired Shadowhunters 3x16, Stay With Me will mark the day where the plot for Shadowhunters 3B finally started. Is the plot good? Can't tell yet because even though the plot started, they didn't get very far but hey, at least we got some progress now. It certainly doesn’t make up for the lack of plot all season but at least it’s something. 

I would like to preface this review with saying that I am NOT a huge supporter of this show. I do enjoy certain elements of it but I'm not what would be classified as a devoted fan. For me, Shadowhunters is not a good show and I do get very critical of the show in my reviews. Honestly, for me, I watch the show because 1) I'm too curious not to and 2) I find that this show can be so bad its funny and that's how I reap enjoyment out of it. I am not at all invested in this show or its characters anymore. I'm just watching to see what happens. If you're a die hard fan and you lash out at everyone who has a different opinion than you, you might want to skip these...I'm just saying. My reviews may not be for you. If you do decide to be a total troll, well then pay attention to the below disclaimer. 

This is going to be an honest review of my thoughts and feelings regarding this episode. If you're the kind of Shadowhunters fan where you only want to hear positive things about the show, this is not the place for you. If you decide to stick around and get offended by what is said, then that's on you. I warned you. Just know that if you send me any rude comments or messages, I will 100% ignore you. I find that's the best way to deal with bullies. I work 14 hour days. Do you really think I want to waste my incredibly valuable free time dealing with derogatory comments? Hell no. This review will consist of my honest opinions. Opinions are never right or wrong. I'm not telling YOU how to think and feel. I'm telling you what I, quirky and socially awkward me, think and feel. So please, lets discuss with dignity and respect. If I'm critical about this show, it's only because I want it to get better. There is, in fact, a difference between hating a show and being critical of it. I do not hate Shadowhunters, I am being critical and analyzing the flaws as I would with any other show. There are positives but there are also negatives. It's great if you want to promote positivity with this show (and I encourage you to do so) but that doesn't mean I'm not going to point out the things that are legitimately wrong with it. Also, keep in mind that despite the fact that I do like the books, me being critical of this show has nothing to do with my fondness for the books. I don't really care if the show deviates from the source material as long as the changes are good, it makes sense, and it doesn't create plot holes within the confines of the world the show has created. My problems with this show are problems I would have with any show or book for that matter. I think it's perfectly reasonable to take issue with a show that has plot holes, shoddy world building, and inconsistent characters. There will be spoilers for the books and movie. 

As I said, the plot at last started in this episode, unfortunately this show continues its ongoing trend of having absolutely too much going on with very little going on at the same time. It's extremely difficult too feel anything for these characters when we barely spend any amount of time with any of them before we cut to another group of characters. And then when grand sweeping declarations between characters are made, I'm just like, "wait, how did we get here?" How am I supposed to be invested in any of the characters arcs or relationships when we barely spend any amount of time with any of them? With this episode, I also suffered another episode with some (at the very least) questionable acting choices, to put it nicely. I want to be nice about it but honestly, it feels like the actors aren't even trying. I normally hate criticizing the acting in my reviews but it keeps on popping up in 3B and it's so difficult to just let it slide. Really, all of 3B has been feeling like no one on the cast or crew is trying. Its been really stale and bland performances. It feels like everyone is doing the bare minimum to collect their paycheck. The script was awful, the film production was super bland, and it definitely feels like the actors are "phoning it in". 

You know, while I never exactly liked this show, it was never really a chore to watch it before. While the show is legitimately bad, it used to be kind of fun and I used to enjoy watching the episodes and reviewing it, pointing out parts I found interesting, pointing out parts I found ridiculous. But ever since season 3 started, it's been a real chore to watch this show. I think I can honestly say that I was enjoying Legacies way more than I'm enjoying this show and if any of you have been reading my Legacies reviews, you know exactly how I feel about Legatrash (as I've so affectionately dubbed it). But I am a completionist, so I shall prevail and get through Shadowhunters. 

This the part where I should say The Plot Thickens but this is Shadowhunters so instead we get The Plot Starts

As I said before, not a whole lot actually happened with the plot but at least it looks like something is starting. Jonathon makes a pact with the Seelie Queen to kill Lillith in exchange for her aid. Clary is dealing with lots of anger issues as a result of her bond with Jonathon. Now for the most part in this episode, Kat's acting was pretty stale and bland except for the moment when she yelled her frustrations out at Simon. It had just the right amount of irritation and anger in it followed with the perfect amount of awkwardness following it. This might've been Kat's most believable performance in the entire series so far. But this leads to Clary deciding she needs to get rid of the mark ASAP because she can't stand Jonathon's evilness running through her body. So they concoct this plan where they decide to use Clary's rune-creating powers to summon Lillith and ask Lillith how to remove the mark. They bring Cain in to use the mark as a shield in case Lillith is able to break free of the Malachi Configuration. And when Izzy talks about how she made additions to the Malachi Configuration, first off it was super obvious that the additions was going to be torture but also I was thinking, "how incredibly convenient" and also, "why?" But as they're preparing, for this summoning, Jonathon goes to the hell dimension to see Lillith with the intention of killing her. And what a weird moment to see Jonathon being burned in flames as he's being transported to Edom and Clary is hunched on the ground because she can feel the burning through the bond and Jace is just standing there, not getting down to her level to comfort her or anything, just standing there and watching her. It's weird considering she's supposed to be the love of his life and he's not doing anything to try and get her through the pain. But anyway, Jonathon almost succeeds in killing Lillith, but conveniently enough, right at the moment where he's about to stab her, Lillith is summoned by Clary. I know, right? How incredibly fortuitous and lucky. But after Izzy spends some time torturing Lillith, Lillith spills the beans on the only thing that can break the bond is archangel Michael's sword, Glorious, infused with heavenly fire. There's a little bit of some more torture, honestly its weird considering how the toruture of imprisoned downworlders is a thing happening this season but yet we're seeing Team Good who's suposedly fighting against this torture, so freely torturing Lillith as if its as easy as breathing to them. It's not out of character for the book counterparts but in this context, it's really weird. Jonathon shows up, attempts to kill everyone but Clary uses a portal to send Jonathon to Clave prison. And Cain escapes with Lillith so that's a thing. I"m so not excited about Lillity running around again. She was a bland villain in the books, she was a bland villain in 3A, and she hasn't changed one bit now that she's in 3B. Seriously, who can honestly say that they wanted Lillith back? Izzy then tells them about what she heard from Maryse about their being a project called Heavenly Fire the clave was secretly working on. And I can already tell the show is going to make this way more complicated than it needs to be. 

So once again, I'm left with the thought that I'm not a really big fan of how this plot point of Clary being controlled by the mark through Jonathon's darkness when I think it's far more interesting to have the mark controlling Clary through her own innate darkness. I've said it before, I wish this show would just throw away pure, perfect innocent, delicate little flower Clary and give us dark!Clary where the mark feasts upon her own selfishness and ruthlessness. But the show refuses to acknowledge that Clary is anything but pure and perfect and innocent which is a real shame because dark!Clary is a 100x more interesting. And trust me, the selfishness and ruthlessness is there, the writers just don't want to acknowledge it. I think the writers think that because Clary has that extra angel blood, she should be this pure and innocent creature but my counterargument is: no, she doesn't. Angels aren't always depicted as pure and perfect and innocent creatures. For instance, I love how Supernatural depicts angels. They're soldiers first and foremost and they're willing to sacrifice anything to achieve their task. The plot in this episode would've been so much more interesting if it was less about Jonathon's impulses controlling Clary and more about her own dark impulses controlling her. If you want to keep the same outcome, dark!Clary would make more sense in terms of her telling Jace that he was the one that pulled her back from the brink and allowed her to fight against the mark controlling her. That it was his faith in the good parts of her that called her back. Instead, we got a really cheesy Clace scene where the same line happens but not a whole lot of believability and payoff on it. If we want to go with a different outcome, Clary becomes so controlled by her own darkness and the mark that she portals both her and Jonathon to the apartment and they continue on their adventure for world domination. And then the plot takes over from their. Either way, dark!Clary works far better. If nothing else, it at least gives her a sense of agency, something she really doesn't have currently. 

Is it weird that I'm rooting more for Jonathon in this season than I am Team Good? Seriously, this show hasn't been all that great about humanizing Jonathon but at least he has something resembling a personality as opposed to our heroes where it's become abundantly clear in this season that without Valentine driving the conflict or the political intrigue, none of our main characters have enough personality to really carry the show. When the show focuses on the characters, you really start to see that maybe there's a reason why we don't spend too much time with any particular character or relationship dynamic for more than a couple of minutes in a scene. This could very well possibly be the writers' way of hiding the fact that these characters they've written aren't nearly as rich or deep as they would like their audience to believe. 

And I still maintain that if we're going with this whole role reversal thing with Jace and Clary from City of Lost Souls, then it would be far more interesting to have Jonathon in love with Jace and not Clary. I'm just saying, if you're going to do a role reversal, you might as well go all the way. Seriously, why is Jonathon in love with Clary? What even is the point of it besides Jonathon being evil so of course he falls in love with his sister? The show didn't think incest was okay with Clace so why do they think it's okay here? Thematically, what does it really do for any of the characters?

The fight scene with Jonathon was particularly cringey. Just in general, I've noticed the fight choreography to be particularly bad this season. And I'm always saying, if you have a choreographer doesn't know how to fight with a whip, then please stop using the whip, keep the staff. As someone who finds whip fighting disciplines particularly interesting, and loves how badass book!Izzy is with her whip, it hurts my soul to see the whip in the show be used so ineffectively. 

More Malec Relationship Woes

In which I go back to my old mantra of asking, when is Magnus actually going to put any work into this relationship? Why is Alec always the one having to bend to suit Magnus's needs and not his own. He's always the one having to compromise and work things out and Magnus really doesn't do anything. Like I said in previous season 2 and 3A reviews, there's probably a reason Magnus has had thousands of relationships and I think it has very little to do with him being immortal. 

But the magic Magnus gained from Lorenzo starts to rebel within his own body so Alec has to convince Lorenzo to take the magic away. Which once again, I'm asking myself why is the show doing this? This whole plot is completely pointless. It's literally only here to give Malec something to do this season where instead they could've been working on the whole immortality issue they keep on sweeping underneath the rug, you know, something that might develop their relationship and individual character arcs. It's also really weird that Magnus thinks that without magic, it would make Alec stop loving him since Alec already had that conversation with him a few episodes back and besides, the magic is the whole reason the immortality conflict exists in the first place. Seriously, I don't understand what the writing process is for this show. Do they only take it one episode at a time and treat each episode as a poorly executed one-shot or something? But this whole scare is causing Alec to contemplate marriage to Magnus which I strongly advise against for a few reasons. 1) It's a bad idea to marry someone because you're afraid they might die, fear of your partner's inevitable death isn't going to help you get through all of the highs and lows of marriage. 2) They just decided to move in together, to make that kind of commitment together. Before Alec, has always been more or less a guest in Magnus's apartment. It's a completely different thing to legitimately be co-habiting with where you're always around each other night and day. And 3) As I mentioned before, these two have yet to get through a single conflict that doesn't result in them just sweeping it under the rug and ignoring that it ever existed. Looking at the marriage through the lens of realism, there's no way this marriage could possibly work out or at the very least, it's going to be extremely dysfunctional and not at all healthy. But this is Shadowhunters who hate hanging onto a conflict for more than an episode, so of course I'm sure this'll result in a pure and perfect marriage. 

And whereas all season I've been noticing a lack of chemistry between Matt and Harry, but it was particularly prevalent in this episode's opening scene in that dream sequence. Both actors looked like they were in physical pain in that scene. Just thought I’d make a note of that.

Luke and Maryse Continues to Be a Thing But at Least NYPD: Shadowhunters is Coming to an End

Yup, they're still a thing. And it's just weird that Luke is telling Maryse that he doesn't want her to come visit him in prison anymore when they barely have a relationship to begin with. It's also so weird that he seems to have already been convicted for the pack massacre in a matter of a couple of days. Justice in the American Courts is apparently swift in the Shadowhunters universe. And I also still don't understand why Luke feels like going to prison is redemption for what happened to the pack. As Maryse said, it's dangerous for the inmates around Luke if Luke were to ever lose control. I understand Luke's guilt but I don't understand why he feels like this is the best course of action. But I guess it's all cool because the Praetor Lupus is breaking him out. And honestly, I think the best thing to come out of this whole thing is that we'll no long have to deal with this NYPD plot. It was dumb in Season 1 and it's been continuously dumb throughout the subsequent seasons. The most egregious thing is that it's taken the show this long to get rid of the NYPD angle. 

So it's not a total crap fest on this episode, I actually didn't mind the moment when Izzy and Simon joke about her fear of rats. There was actually some chemistry in that scene. Not enough to sell me on that relationship but I got some Sizzy feels from it. It's still not Sizzy from the books so I don't want it in the show. I still think in the show, Saia is a much better fit but oh well, beggars can't be choosers. 

And speaking of which, in a throwaway line, we learn Maia is spending time with Jordan at the Praetor. Oh joy. She's stuck spending time with her abuser because the show has no idea what to do with her. I remember when the writers said that Maia was going to have a bad-ass character arc this season...I'm still waiting for it. At this point, the only thing that would make me somewhat okay with everything that's happened so far is if it's revealed that Bat is still alive and he and Maia decide to rebuild their pack together. It's still not optimal and it's still a great disservice to her character arc, but at least it's something, you know?

I suppose I'd give this episode a C+. There was plot, but beyond that, I really didn't particularly enjoy this episode. I found multiple aspects of it to be pretty cringy and bland. All in all, I'd say that's pretty much been the status quo for all of season 3, really. Once again we’re seeing that this show has too many characters and they don’t know what to do with 90% of them. For the life of me, I can’t even fathom why this Lillith and Cain thing is necessary. The show doesn’t have the time with this tomfoolery. I thought we were finally getting away from this with the death of Heidi but nope. They just killed her off to make room for undoubtedly another needless subplot. This season has just really been showcasing its lack of direction and that Freeform without a doubt was justified in cancelling it. 

[s-riusblck]

ANGEL EYES II

LIGHTNING ERA - Part 2

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7

NOTES: I hope you all enjoy and that I’ve done this moment justice, I'm so bad at writing emotional stuff hahah. Thank you so much as always for all the support!! xxx

SHIP: Sirius Black x Reader

DESCRIPTION: Life in Azkaban. These were the three words that had haunted your life for twelve years, until the day you saw Sirius Black’s face on the front of the daily prophet. He had escaped, but after twelve years in Azkaban, could things ever go back to normal? 

WARNINGS: Cursing

**********

4:04am. You paced back and forth in your living room, a strange sense of deja vu washing over you.

“And he didn’t say anything about why he wanted to see us both? At four in the morning?” You repeated, looking to Remus who was sat on the couch, tapping his foot on the floor nervously. He looked up at you, and shook his head. 

Sighing, you looked to the clock again. 4:05am. He was five minutes late. 

“And he definitely said four?” You asked, and Remus sighed, shaking his head. 

“I’ve told you everything, (Y/N). All he said was to wait in your living room, and he would get here as soon possible. He only suggested it would be around four.” 

Before you could respond, you heard a ‘pop!’ behind you. Whisking around, your eyes fell upon Albus Dumbledore. You had only seen him a very limited number of times in the previous twelve years, but the sight of him still stung a little, your conversation with him in the Order of the Phoenix headquarters replaying in your mind. 

“Good morning, Remus. (Y/N), I must apologise that we meet yet again on such unfortunate circumstances.” Dumbledore said, giving you both a nod. Suppressing an eye roll, you cleared your throat. 

“What’s this all about?” You asked, eying him curiously. 

Without a word, he handed you both a rolled up copy of the Daily Prophet. You furrowed your brows at him, but he simply gestured towards the paper in your hands. You shot a curious glance Remus’ way, and began to unroll the paper. 

The heat rushed from your body as your eyes focused in on the picture taking up most of the front page. You could of sworn your heart stopped beating for a moment. Taking a few steps backwards, you felt the couch hit the back of your legs, and you lowered yourself onto it. Your eyes didn’t move an inch. You recognised the eyes immediately. They were Sirius’ eyes. A soft sob escaped your lips as you traced your fingers over the picture. The image you had in your mind of Sirius was a young man full of life, love and determination. The picture in front of you told a completely different story. His eyes had lost their depth, they had lost their sparkle. His face was lined with exhaustion, his hair matted and his clothes ragged. He looked broken, but at the same time, you could still see a hint of the handsome man that was your fiancé. 

‘Escape from Azkaban’. A small gasp escaped your lips as it dawned on you why you were looking down at a picture of Sirius on the cover of the Daily Prophet. You looked up, your eyes darting between Remus and Dumbledore, as you tried to comprehend what you had just read. 

“He escaped?” You muttered, your voice shaky as you looked to Remus, taken in the look of shock you were sure mirrored your own. 

“He did. Late last night.” Dumbledore confirmed, his voice as calm as always. 

“But why now?” You continued, closing your eyes for a moment as you tried to piece it all together.

“The ministry believe he’s after Harry.” 

Your head snapped up, your eyes narrowing. “Don’t. Don’t go there.” You warned, your voice low as your grip tightened on the newspaper. 

Remus sighed, finally looking up to you. “This isn’t a time for personal feelings, (Y/N). Just let him explain.” He said. You watched Remus for a moment, before nodding, turning back to Dumbledore. 

“Fine. Explain.” You said, not daring to glance back down at the paper knowing it would play to your emotions again, but at the same time, not daring to let it go. 

“No matter what we all individually believe, we have to prepare for the worst.” Dumbledore began, and you bit down on the inside of your cheek, taking deep breaths to maintain your composure. “Harry could be in danger, and we have to be cautious so as to ensure his safety. He will return to Hogwarts as normal, and for now, those of us in contact with Harry will go along with what is reported in the Daily Prophet. Harry can’t know who Sirius Black really is. The boy had a tendency to be impulsive, and may go seeking answers. Extra protective measure will be placed on Hogwarts as we await further information on Sirius’ whereabouts. (Y/N), I suggest you move to a safer-“

“Respectfully, sir, I won’t be doing that. I’m perfectly safe here.” You cut in. 

“(Y/N), I think you can appreciate that no matter what we all personally believe, Sirius Black is not going to be the same man he was when he went to Azkaban.” 

“Unbelievable.” You said, laughing sarcastically. “Yet again, you refuse to give him even the benefit of the doubt. I think you can appreciate, Albus, that Sirius Black is my fiancé. He was there for me when when I had no one else, and I plan to do the same for him. I’m not going to shut him out.” You said, a tone of determination in your voice. Dumbledore watched you for a moment, and then gave you a nod. 

“I can appreciate that.” He said. “I have some matters I must attend to back at the Ministry. Remus, I shall see you in a few weeks at Hogwarts. (Y/N), I hope we can meet on better circumstances next time.” And with one last nod, he was gone. 

You turned to Remus, unsure of where to even start, but he beat you to it. 

“I promised him I would take care of you, (Y/N). So, please, don’t do anything stupid. Just wait it out.” He said, a tone of desperation in his voice. You wanted to argue, but you couldn’t bring yourself to. Remus had done so much for you, and he had proven that above all else he had your best interest at heart. 

“I promise. I won’t do anything stupid.” 

——

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Remus asked again, and you shook your head in amusement. “I don’t have to go. There’s always next year.”

“Moony, I promise I’ll be okay. We’ll talk everyday. I can’t wait for you to tell me all about it.” You said, smiling across the table at him. The time had come for Remus to head for Hogwarts and take up his new role as Defence Against the Dark Arts professor. Truthfully, you were going to miss him a lot more than you would of ever admitted to him, but you knew it was an amazing opportunity for him that he couldn’t miss out on. He had given up a lot to take care of you when you were at your worst, and it was time now for you to give up something for him. “And besides, I’ll have twice as many teabags! You’re doing me a favour really.”

He laughed, finishing up the last bit of tea in his mug. Leaning across the table, you gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. “You’re going to be an amazing professor. Those students are so lucky to have you.” You told him, and he nodded. 

Both of you stood up from the table, and you wrapped your arms around him in a tight embrace. “You know where I am if you need me.” He said as the hug broke, and you nodded.

“I know. Now go get ‘em, Professor Lupin.” You grinned, watching as he disapparated. 

With a sigh, you cleaned up the kitchen, the usual loneliness washing over you as you moved around the apartment. When you were finished your usual tasks, you sat yourself down in the living room chair that sat next to the open window, watching out for any signs of Sirius. 

——

The year went by in a very similar fashion. A lot of your time was spent sitting next to the open window, though as the months went on, you grew more and more frustrated. You knew you were being selfish. Sirius was on the run from Azkaban, the whole world was looking for him. How could you expect him to just show up at your doorstep? But to not even send you something as simple as a piece of parchment to let you know he was okay? It was driving you mad. The further into the year you got, the less time you spent at the window, the tiny sliver of hope you had left of seeing Sirius again fading. Maybe he had moved on from you, and maybe it was time you did the same. Maybe Dumbledore had been right all along. 

It was late into the evening and you were laying on the sofa, a cup of tea in one hand and a book in the other. Suddenly, a face appeared in the fireplace, and you jumped, tea spilling down over your hand. 

“Fuck.” You cursed, jumping up and putting the mug down, shaking off your hand. “This better be important, Lupin. That was an exceptionally good cup of tea.”

“(Y/N), I think Peter’s in Hogwarts.” Remus said, and you furrowed your brows at him. 

“Peter? As in Peter Pettigrew?” You said. “Mooney, are you getting enough sleep?”

“No, (Y/N), I’m serious. Harry has somehow come into possession of the Marauders map, and he told me he saw Peter Pettigrew on it.” 

You moved down onto the floor in front of the fireplace, the seriousness of what Remus was telling you beginning to dawn on you. 

“Is he sure? Did you see him?”

“He seems pretty certain. He was out after curfew trying to follow him on the map. Professor Snape caught him, I swear that man can smell a chance to get Harry in trouble from a mile away. That’s besides the point, though, I’ve got the map, and I’ve been watching it ever since. I haven’t seen him yet.” 

Your hands came up to rub at your temples, a dull ache forming in your head. “Remus, if Peter’s alive…” You began, and he nodded. 

“I know.” He told you. “But we can’t jump to any conclusions. I’ll continue to watch the map when I can and I’ll keep you updated. Have you heard anything?” He asked, and you shook your head.

“No. Nothing. I was beginning to give up hope.” You shrugged. 

“Hold on to it, (Y/N). You’ve done it for twelve years now, you can’t give up now.” Remus said, his tone as comforting as ever. 

With a smile, you both said your goodbyes and you stood up from the fireplace, making your way back over to the chair by the window, the sliver of hope you had beginning to grow for the first time in twelve years. 

——

8:38pm. The apartment was eerily quiet, the ticking of the clock being the only noise to break the silence. You kneeled in front of the fire, your fingers fiddling nervously. He was thirty eight minutes late. You glanced up at the clock again, groaning in frustration. Where was he? 

“Come on, Remus.” You muttered nervously. 

Remus was never late. It was a trait of his you really admired. He had been in Hogwarts for nearly a full school year now, and not once had he been a minute later than 8:00pm to appear in your fireplace for a chat. You thought back on the events of the previous few weeks. Soon after your initial chat about Peter Pettigrew, Remus confirmed what Harry had saw. His name was floating around Hogwarts on the marauders map, but Remus had never been able to come face to face with him. It baffled you. It changed everything. Anger was an emotion you were beginning to feel a bit too regularly for your liking, but it infuriated you. If Peter was alive all this time, why didn’t he come forward to clear Sirius’ name? Why was he hiding? Or what was he hiding? 

8:51pm. Something was wrong. You knew it was, and you began to panic. 

9:03pm. You knew you should of gone to Hogwarts the moment Remus had told you about Peter appearing on the map. It was insufferable not knowing what was going on. 

9:16pm. You gasped in anticipation as a face appeared in the fire, but it soon turned back to panic as Albus Dumbledore’s face looked up at you. 

“What’s going on? Where’s Remus?” You asked, your voice laced with concern. 

“There’s no time to explain, (Y/N). Apparate to Hogsmeade and come to the castle. I’ll meet you outside the hospital wing.” And before you could ask anymore, he was gone. 

Not wasting a moment, you grabbed your wand and thought of Hogsmeade. With a ‘pop!’, you were there. Your heart pounded almost as loud as your feet did against the ground as you ran towards Hogwarts. You could feel a pain in your chest developing, but you ignored it. The sense of urgency in Dumbledore’s voice rang through your mind as you picked up the pace. You tried to push all emotions aside as you ran through the halls of Hogwarts, afraid that the sense of familiarity or nostalgia would slow you down. These halls had held so much of your life, at a time when you had had so much hope and happiness. 

Turning a corner, you spotted Dumbledore and ran to him, panting heavily as you slowed down in front of him. “Where’s Remus?” You asked.

“There isn’t much time, (Y/N). Remus is okay. Right now, you need to get to the top of the tallest tower.” He told you, and seeing the look of confusion on your face, he elaborated. “You were right about Sirius, (Y/N). There’ll be time for explanations and apologies later. Right now you need to get to that tower.”

Your head was spinning, your breathing heavy, and you could feel your legs begin to give out beneath you. You were right about Sirius. Taking a long deep breathe, you nodded and ran towards the tower, your mind racing a with a million possibilities of what could be waiting for you when you got there. 

As you approached the door, your footsteps slowed suddenly at the sound of a familiar voice. ‘It couldn’t be’, you told yourself. Edging forward, you felt all the air leave your body as you saw through the doorway the two people who you had longed to see for twelve years. The one man that had captured your heart so many years ago and even after twelve years apart, still had such a tight clutch on it. 

Your feet began to move without you even knowing it, and the crisp air hit you as you stepped out into the open, your eyes still locked on Sirius. 

“Sirius?” You muttered, your voice barely above a whisper. 

Three heads snapped around to look at you, but you were only focused on one. As his eyes met yours, a strangled cry left your lips. He stood up slowly, the eye contact not wavering for even a moment. You stood, staring at each other, for what felt like an eternity. Your head pounded as you tried to comprehend what was happening. 

“(Y/N).” He said. The sound of his voice was enough to break through the haze in your mind. You ran to him, and as he always did, he caught you. Your body crashed against his as he stumbled back a few steps with the force, and you wrapped yourself around him, your hands gripping on to his hair in a desperate attempt to keep him close. You brought your head in front of his, your hands coming down to his cheeks. 

Your eyes explored every inch of his face, your heart breaking all over again as you saw how run down he looked. 

“I’m so sorry.” He croaked, and you shook your head, blinking away tears and running your thumb across his cheek to catch the few that fell from his eyes. 

“Don’t apologise. Please don’t apologise.” You said, resting your forehead against his. 

“You look…” He began.

“Old.” You said, letting out a small chuckle. 

“I was going to say beautiful.” He finished, giving you a small smile. 

“Sirius, I’m so sorry…. But, you have to go. Time is running out.” A voice said nervously from beside you, and you let out a shaky sigh. Although you didn’t know all the details, you could tell from the tone in her voice it was urgent. 

You ran a hand down to his chest, gripping on to the material of his top as you pressed your lips to his. A heat erupted throughout your body, and your grip tightened as your lips moved together perfectly, as if they’d never stopped. As if it hadn’t been over a decade since you last kissed him. His hands gripped on to your waist, pressing your body closer to his. You wanted to hold on forever, to stay in this moment for as long as possible, but you knew you had to let go. If there was any hope of getting him back permanently, you had to let go. You were both breathless as you broke apart, your lips still brushing off each others. 

“You have to go.” You mumbled, and he nodded, pressing one last kiss to your lips. Running a hand down his arm, you held on to his hand, giving it a squeeze as you stepped back.

“I love you.” He said, and you smiled, the tears beginning to build up in your eyes and blur your vision again. 

“I love you.” You told him, and his hand slipped from yours as he turned to Harry, giving him a hug before climbing on to the hippogriff. With one last look, he was gone, disappearing into the darkness. 

You watched after him for a few moments, before you looked to the two teenagers that stood before you. A smile graced your lips as you took in Harry’s appearance. He looked exactly like James, but with Lily’s eyes. Your heart swelled with pride, but ached at the same time as you remembered your two friends, and how unfair it was that they hadn’t gotten to see him grow up. Noticing the girl beside him fiddling with what looked like a time turner, you gathered yourself. 

“Are you, uh.. Sirius’s wife?” Harry asked, and you shook your head, pulling out the ring on your necklace from beneath your jumper. 

“I guess you could say almost wife.” You shrugged, and he let out a breathy laugh. 

“He asked me to move in with you both before… Well, before he had to go.” And you nodded, moving closer to Harry and leaning down in front of him, taking his hand in yours. 

“I’m so sorry for everything you’ve had to go through, Harry, but just know your mum and dad would of been so proud of you. James would of loved telling the world his son was Gryffindor’s youngest, and best, seeker.” You said with a chuckle. “And Sirius, he loves you so much. So much. You’re so loved, Harry. Don’t forget that.” You told him, closing your eyes to hold back tears as he suddenly hugged you tight. 

“Harry…” The girls voice came from beside him, and you took a deep breathe, pulling back and placing a kiss on his forehead. 

“Go. I’ll write to you, okay?” You reassured him, and he nodded, before running off through the door. 

You watched after him, biting down on your lip as he disappeared from view. Once again, your future was uncertain, and you had no idea what was to come next. Despite that, though, you felt more at peace than you had for twelve years and you felt excited. Excited because there was hope again. However small, there was hope that you and Sirius would finally get your happy ending. 

[nagamas]

Night Hours

This is for @path-of-rad. Apologies for such a late arrival!

…

Seliph found solace in the lulls of his campaign, days in which the duty he carried on his back moved from single-minded, often bloody liberation to steady marches for days on end. Every moment had to be spent wisely, but as long as progress was made and the army inched towards their goal, all was well. The long marches were hard, but everyone seemed more upbeat than when they were forced into battle. Even in his struggle to fill his role, Seliph felt the warmth of a leader as his group rode together, talking animatedly.

But there were cracks under the surface. It wasn’t clear when it had started, but one late night Seliph had sat outside his tent in quiet contemplation, when a dark figure emerged from the bushes not far away. He instinctively crouched and gripped his blade hilt and cursed his inexperience, his cowardice, his lack of mettle, as he did whenever he was caught in a fight alone. But as the figure approached and the shadows thinned, it became a familiar sight. Ares, dressed in customary dark armour and blade strapped to his side, inexplicably returning to the camp in the middle of the night.

Seliph relaxed himself and almost called out- but no, he shouldn’t. From what he had learned of Ares, he did not take expressions of friendship the same as most. To acknowledge him would be irritating, or even embarrassing. Seliph slumped defeatedly and, well hidden by the tent’s long shadow, watched him return to his own in silence. Perhaps he could find some other way to quietly show his support for a stress-induced midnight traipse. He could ask if his boots fitted well enough. Ask the guard patrol to sleep earlier. Or leave a lit lantern by his tent before nightfall. Yes, that would be ideal, if only the sort of expression Ares would appreciate.

Seliph did not intend to watch Ares again the following night, but instead convinced himself that he was feeling sleepless once more and needed to spend another few hours sitting in the cool night air. Tucked in the helm of his tent to make him less visible. Looking pointedly in the direction of Ares’ tent. Just in case. At a late enough hour, Ares emerged tentatively, fully armoured once more. He turned to the direction of the path out of camp only to nearly walk into a dimly lit lantern neatly placed at his feet. He stared at it in uncharacteristic puzzlement for a moment that made Seliph smile faintly to himself, before crouching to put out the light and continuing on his way without it. Where could Ares be going at night that required no light, full armour and secrecy? Seliph let the question occupy his mind among the buzzing of other worries for a few hours until, like neat clockwork, Ares returned to the camp again, stiff of gait. Seliph surely felt an intervention was in order until he stopped short at the sight of him. The moon had grown since last night, the light exposing more of him. Dried blood swept over several points on his armour, and his face was slick with sweat. It dawned on Seliph as he approached that his walk was not just stiff, but almost a limp.

He stood immediately. “Ares!” he hissed insistently. Ares twitched with recognition, but simply turned his back on Seliph and upped his pace.

“Ares, are you alright? Where have you been?” Seliph jogged behind him and managed to catch his shoulder, the contact making him spin around confrontationally.

“Enough,” he snapped. “You will not speak of this.”

“But your injury-!“

“It is absolutely nothing.” He cleared the last few feet to his tent and slipped inside, leaving Seliph alone in the night.

-

“Sir Seliph? Are you still sleeping?”

“What do you mean, Julia? I’m wide awake.”

 They rode with the army the next day, ever closer but still so far.

“Your eyes keep closing and opening and closing and opening. Like this.” Julia fluttered her eyelashes melodramatically. “I do it all the time. But you’re not like me. Didn’t you sleep last night?”

Seliph tried to keep his eyes wide open and fixed on the road, now hyper-aware of himself. “I’ve had some difficulty lately.”

“I think, somewhere in my mind, I remember how to prepare a sleeping draught.” She looked up at him hopefully through loose strands of hair.

“I’ll be alright without, Julia. But thank you.” It wouldn’t do for a leader to show signs of exhaustion.

Another one of your shortfalls, a voice told him in the back of his mind.

Julia lent him gentle, concerned looks as they continued to ride in silence, but his own mind fixed itself on Ares, not far ahead, wondering what exhaustion and worries he hid.

-

A new approach the next night. One more sleepless night could be enough to resolve this. Seliph unhooked his cape and draped it over his knees, a makeshift blanket to shield him for the hours he would spend waiting for Ares to return, in his own tent.

An underhanded approach tonight.

He did not bring a light to supplement his surprise attack, and may have drifted in and out of light sleep in the silent hours. But he was awake when Ares walked in swiftly, his breastplate already half unbuckled until he noticed Seliph and leaped a foot into the air.

“What is this, Seliph?” he demanded.

Seliph rose stiffly and stood to face him, his prepared speech fragmenting rapidly in his mind. “I understand that you carry burdens with you. We all do.”

“You cannot possibly know-“

Seliph laid a hand gently on his arm, and to his surprise, it lulled him. “Ares, please listen. I cannot have you compromising your own safety. I cannot watch harm befall someone when it’s preventable.”

Seliph still expected a fierce response, but Ares seemed sobered. “Look out for your own men, Seliph. You’d be wasting your heart away concerning yourself with me and my affairs.”

“It isn’t about the army, or the politics, or the war,” said Seliph. “I meant to tell you there are enough burdens to carry without you imposing more on yourself. I see that in you every day. Tell me where you go at night.”

A long silence passed between them. Seliph hadn’t stood so close to Ares since they first met. Here, his usually narrowed eyes were wide, bright and gentle in the dark, and the curves of his cheeks and jaw were altogether softer and more fragile. He wanted squeeze his shoulder, take his hand, press light fingers to his cheek.

“Did you know my father?”

Seliph blinked uncertainly. “…Know…?”

“Did you know him, Seliph?”

“Well, yes. Yes, of course, I know of Lord Eldigan.”

Ares raised his chin. But there was no anger, only weariness. “You didn’t know him. You knew of him. I knew him even though I never met him properly. He was a warrior like I am meant to be. He must have been the ideal knight. He must have wielded this blade…” He passed his fingers over the Demon Sword. “…Better than I ever have. Because the battle is my nature, that is where I am drawn to every night. There are bandits, thieves and creatures by every camp if you know how to find them. It is the only thing I know how to do.” A harsh gust of wind hit the tent, causing a low rumble.

“You are one of the strongest warriors I have ever seen,” said Seliph quietly. “I am grateful you fight alongside us. But being with us is important. Lord Eldigan had allies too.” Ares appeared to twitch slightly, but Seliph pushed on. “You’re safer with your comrades. Fighting alone won’t make you stronger. It takes its toll. It has been taking its toll.” Impulsively, Seliph succumbed to himself and took both Ares’ hands in his, running fingers across their grazes and rough patches. “We fight together now, Ares. We care about you. We want you safe.”

Ares looked down at their clasped hands, his expression so difficult to read, no matter how hard Seliph tried. “We?” he asked. “Or you?”

Seliph struggled to comprehend the meaning of his words until he noticed the slightest smile on Ares’ face. “I,” he said hesitantly. Was this true emotional vulnerability? No wonder Ares avoided it so. Every word was like trudging through thick mud. “I care about you. I want you to be safe.”

The smile blossomed on Ares face. The expression was so strange on him, but so beautiful. It made his face look younger, more open. “Then I shall stay safe.” Before Seliph could think, he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Go to sleep, Seliph.”

Ares let go of his hands and gently steered him out of the tent. “Goodnight,” he said, and slipped back inside. Seliph stood out in the night, alone again, with his hands still warm and left cheek still tingling. When he did sleep, he did it soundly.

[darnedchild]

Molly Hooper Appreciation Week Fall 2018 - Day 3

Will be on FFdotNet and Ao3 later (probably tomorrow because I’m tired and I’m going to bed now)

On FFdotNet and Ao3

MHAW Day Three – Day 3 – Sound

Note – This is a sequel to my Khanolly fic “Descent Into Darkness”.  It would be best if you’ve read that fic first, but I don’t think it’s absolutely necessary to understand what’s happening in this one.

Totally unbeta’d because it’s late and I’m lazy and out of time.  Most of the bridge dialogue is lifted directly from the movie.  Please don’t sue me.  Also, it should be pretty obvious that this is an AU fic because where is the fun in a Khanolly fic if there isn’t a happy(ish) ending?  I’m not really happy with this, but it’s 11:56 pm and I’m stubborn about deadlines so I’m calling it quits now.  Finally, since it’s not obvious, the sound theme is about voices (specifically Khan’s and how Molly reacts to it and what she can read in it that others might miss).

From Darkness

Molly’s heart raced.  

From the moment the Vengeance warp core had shut down and the sickbay had switched to auxiliary power, her world had turned upside down.

No, before that.  Long before.  

When Section 31 had been bombed and Admiral Marcus had personally visited her flat to ask her to recreate the bio-agent that would be capable of killing John Harrison, that’s when everything she’d thought she’d known had tilted on its axis.

It wasn’t just that the man she’d thought she’d been friends with, had flirted with, had even shared one perfect kiss with, was a mass murderer.  She now understood that everything she’d worked on in Section 31, all of her projects for who knew how long, had been approved with an eye toward eventual weaponization.  That Admiral Marcus wasn’t the honourable man she’d believed him to be.  

It had all been a lie.

The only thing she was absolutely sure of anymore was that she was currently in danger and there wasn’t a single person on the ship she could trust.  

Not even the man she’d agreed to help in his mission to save his crew.

Especially not John Harrison.

It’s Khan, she reminded herself as she rushed from station to station in the sickbay.  

While the ship’s warp core had come back on-line, most of the computer systems were still powering up.  There was a specific order to follow as power would be allocated to the most vital areas first.  

“Life support systems will switch back from auxiliary.  Basic bridge commands, impulse drive, sickbay functions,” Molly recited under her breath as she struggled to remember the basics she’d learned when she’d first joined Starfleet, before she’d specialized in medical research for the Federation.  

She bit her lip in frustration as several of the terminals remained down.  “How long?  How long until we’re back?”

Even if she did get the entire sickbay up and running before Khan had his crew transferred to the Vengeance, where would she put them?  The seventy-two cryotubes would have to be stored somewhere until they could be safely opened.  She was unfamiliar with the layout of the ship and had no idea where Khan would send his people, but she would need to make sure she had the proper equipment ready to go when they arrived.

There was nothing for it, she was going to have to find Khan.

She stuck her hand into the pocket of her tunic and brushed her fingers against the hypospray containing the bio-agent Marcus had requested, reassured by the cool metal.  Molly hoped she wouldn’t have cause to use it on Khan; but she would be a fool not to keep it with her, just in case.  She readjusted her hold on her phaser, the weight of it unfamiliar in her hand, and eased through the door into the corridor outside.

Khan had said he was going to deal with Marcus, which meant he would have headed toward the bridge.

Molly picked a direction and ran for it, hoping that if she ran into one of the crew they would be the ask questions first, shoot second type.

It didn’t take long before she heard a woman scream in pain.  As far as she knew, there hadn’t been any other women aboard the ship when it left dock. Perhaps she was one of Khan’s crew?

Moments later, Molly heard another scream, loud enough to mask any sounds she might have made as she cautiously slipped through the door to the bridge and ducked behind the closest thing she could use as cover.    

She immediately spotted Khan pulling another man off the floor as if he weighed nothing.  From her hiding spot, she could see other bodies on the ground. The only one other one that was conscious was the woman who had switched from screaming to whimpering as she cradled her leg.

Khan held a phaser to the head of the man he was clearly planning to use as a bargaining tool.  He shoved the other man in front of the viewscreen and addressed the crew on display.  “I’m going to make this very simple for you.”

One of the other ship’s crew spoke, a Vulcan from his speech pattern and appearance.  “Captain.”

The man with Khan seemed to gather himself at the sound of the Vulcan’s voice.  

Molly considered the distance between herself and the other woman, and her odds of crossing the bridge without being spotted.

Khan spoke again.  “Your crew for my crew.”

That caught her attention.  

“You betrayed us.”  The Vulcan didn’t seem shocked by the revelation.

Khan smirked.  “Oh, you are smart, Mister Spock.”  Something in his voice made Molly shiver, something almost sinister and yet . . . it wasn’t quite fear that brought goose bumps to her skin.

The man Spock had addressed as Captain said something before Khan hit him with the butt of the phaser and let him drop to the floor.  Khan turned his full attention to the viewscreen and demanded his crew once again.

“And what will you do when you get them?”

Molly thought she saw one of the men on the ground twitch.

“Continue the work we were doing before we were banished.”

Banished?  If she got out of this alive, there were going to be so many questions.  

“Which, as I understand it, involves the mass genocide of any being you find to be less than superior.”  Spock seemed to be attempting to deliberately antagonize Khan.  

The mention of mass genocide made her blood run cold.  For a long moment, Molly considered raising her weapon and shooting Khan in the back. He’d survive it, probably, but it should be enough to bring him down long enough that she might be able to inject him with the hypospray.  If the twitching man or one of the others were able to help her . . .

“Drop.  Your.  Shields.” Khan’s voice made it clear that he was nearing the end of his patience.

Her thumb nudged the switch on the side of the phaser away from Stun.

“Well, let’s play this out logically then, Mister Spock.  Firstly, I will kill your Captain to demonstrate my resolve.”  There was no trace of the man she’d known as John Harrison left in Khan, not in his voice or in the way he held himself.  “Then, if yours holds, I will have no choice but to kill you and your entire crew.”

“If you destroy our ship, you will also destroy your own people,” Spock countered.

“Your crew requires oxygen to survive, mine does not.  I will target your life support systems located behind the aft nacelle.”  

The Captain of the other ship began to stir.  Molly bit her tongue, not sure if she was trying to hold back a warning for Khan or a distraction to give the Captain a chance to catch Khan by surprise.  Her loyalties should lie with Starfleet; but she knew what it felt like to lose your family and if Khan had been telling the truth, if all of this was really about getting his crew back . . .

“And after every single person aboard our ship suffocates, I will walk over your cold corpses to recover my people. Now, shall we begin?”

She believed him.  Of course, she did, there was no way she could ever forget what he’d done to Section 31.  The question was, did Spock?

Apparently, he did.  “Lower shields.”

Thank the heavens.  Molly slumped in relief.  The odds of her survival would increase dramatically if Khan got his people back.

“A wise choice, Mister Spock.” Khan barely spared a moment to kick the Captain out of his way before he was flicking his fingers across the screen of a console.  “I see your seventy-two torpedoes are still in their tubes.  If they are not mine, Commander, I will know it.”

From where she was, she could see the way his hands shook as he transported the torpedoes and their precious cargo aboard. “Thank you, Mister Spock.”

He dropped into the Captain’s seat as Spock insisted Khan uphold his end of the deal.  As if the chair had been made for him (which it probably had), Khan took command of the Vengeance.  “Well, Kirk, it seems apt to return you to your crew.  After all-“  

Kirk, the woman, and one other man beamed away.

“-no ship should go down without her captain.”

Immediately, the image of Spock disappeared from the viewscreen to be replaced by a view of a cargo hold containing row after row of torpedoes.  “Welcome home, old friends,” Khan whispered with reverence.  

His hand moved again, and suddenly there was a heavily damaged starship on the viewscreen.  “Goodbye, Kirk.”  

“Wait!”  Molly shot to her feet.  “Don’t do it.”

Khan’s gaze flicked from her face to the phaser and back.  She immediately held the phaser up and to the side, making it clear that she wasn’t aiming at him.

“Don’t do what, Molly?  Don’t destroy this last threat to my crew?  I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

She eased closer to the command chair. He tensed.  Molly carefully set the phaser on the closest console and lowered her hands to her sides.  The reassuring weight of the hypospray was still in her tunic pocket.

“If you blow up that ship, the Enterprise, they’ll never stop coming for you.  Your crew will never be safe.  Not really.”

“if you think I’m scared of Starfleet-“ he began.

Molly shook her head.  “It won’t just be Starfleet.  It will be the entire Federation.  All hunting for you and your people.  You said that everything you’ve done was for them.  Right?”

He nodded to show he was listening.

“Let the others go.  Tell them . . . Tell them you’re honouring your word.  Their crew in exchange for yours.  Tell them that all you want is to find a new home, you just want to be left alone.  Leave them to tell the Federation how you spared them, granted mercy when you had the clear advantage.”

Khan shook his head.  “Mister Spock will never agree to that.  Neither will Kirk.”

“They don’t have to.  People will ask what happened, and by the time Kirk and Spock have been debriefed and the Federation has heard all about Admiral Marcus and convened a committee to decide whether or not to pursue you, you’ll be long gone.  If you destroy them now, every armed ship in the area will be sent after you in retaliation within a matter of hours.”

She took one more step closer and stared into his eyes.  “You’ll need time to revive your crew.  This could buy you some of that time.”

“And you, Molly?  What would you have me do with you?”

“I-I . . . You wanted my help to wake your people.  I’m here. What do you need?”

He tapped a finger against the arm of the chair.  “Khan to the crew of the Enterprise.  As promised, I have returned your crew-”

[pelionhigh]

Starcrossed lovers Pt.1 (?)

„Welcome home, gorgeous.“, with those words he pulled her into his arms and straight into a deep, intoxicating kiss. She barely managed to get out of her shoes and close the door before Lotor reached out. It had been two weeks of pure bliss so far. Lotor’s kisses always left her weak, but it made no difference, because he held her tight to his chest and he loved to make out on the sofa, so she could lay on top of him and his hands were free to roam and explore all the curves he became so very fond of over and over again.

Usually she just gave in, refusing to think about what tomorrow might bring. But tonight was different. Taking a bracing breath between kisses she locked eyes with him. “We need to talk.” Lotor met her gaze head on. “What is it?” There was no concern in his voice. He was too confident to believe it had something to do with circumstances being what they were between them. “Did you watch the news today?” Her question made him frown. “Should I have?” “I guess so.” The remote was within reach and she turned on a news channel for outer space issues. “… not been seen since. The Paladin are adamant to find Emperor Lotor as soon as possible. It seems that various Galra opposed to their Emperor are already gathering forces to try and enthrone a new ruler, favorably a full-blood Galra from their own ranks. Emperor Lotor is only half Galra and was thus never fully supported by the entirety of the Galra race. Right now the Paladin ¾” Lotor had turned off the TV. His face was stern, hard even. He stared into space and closing her eyes she let her head drop on his chest, thinking about the day she met him.

Work had been the same as usual, nothing special, no drama. She was looking forward to going home after stopping by at the supermarket, where she had bought some treats to spoil herself. Thinking about how she’d enjoy a glass of wine while soaking in the bathtub made her sigh in anticipation. It’s just been a few moments and the hot water had just begun to ease up her muscles when there suddenly was a rumbling sound coming from her balcony. “Probably just the neighbor’s cat tipping over my plants again”, she thought to herself. Just when she went out later to check, it wasn’t a cat she found on her balcony. It was a rather tall, purple-skinned and silver-haired male with pointy ears and small fangs. He lay there unconscious and she was at a total loss of what to do. Call the police? An ambulance? Ignore him and hope he’d be gone the same way he came? Instead she stepped out to see if he was still alive. His breast lifted slightly and she felt a pulse on his throat. When she took her hand away he moaned all of a sudden and on impulse she jumped back inside, ready to shut the door. Breathing hard he sat up, holding his head in his hands, obviously in pain. When he opened his eyes and saw her, surprise took over and pain forgotten he looked around quickly before addressing her. “Who are you? Where am I? What is this place?” Before she was able to answer he moaned again loudly, grasping his head once again in agony. Without delay she stepped out, grabbing him by his shoulders to make him stand up and come inside, where she had him sit down on the sofa. From the kitchen she got some water and looking at him sitting there it hit her that this was Emperor Lotor of the Galra Empire. He had just been visiting earth as part of his mission to bring peace to the Universe and was seeking out her home planet in order to make more allies. It had been all over the news and two days ago he had left ¾ at least supposedly so. Knowing who she was dealing with, she felt nervous all of a sudden. “Excuse me, Imperial Majesty, I’ve brought some water.” Remembering the correct way to address an emperor from all the newscasts gave her some sense of being grounded, but the confused look she received in return threw her off balance easily. “Imperial Majesty?” In answer she couldn’t help but blurt out, “I’m sorry if I’ve offended you, but I think that is the correct way to speak to an emperor..?”. “Emperor? Who are you and where am I?” “I’m Y/N, and your Imperial Majesty is currently in my apartment, which is located on planet earth.” She felt like a total moron to talk like this. “Earth… You call me Imperial Majesty, but… who am I?”. “What?” Now it was her turn to be stunned. As it turned out he had lost all his memories. Only vague images and traces of emotion were left. So she told him all she could remember about him from the news. He seemed reluctant to believe it and didn’t want her to call any authorities. “If what you say is true and I am Emperor Lotor, then there must be a reason for why I lost all memories and me somehow ending up on your balcony. It could be dangerous for me to show myself at this point. I know I’m asking for a lot, but please, allow me to stay.” I’m so screwed, was all she was able to think when he looked at her with this earnest look in his eyes. He was honestly pleading with her and of course she couldn’t deny him. So she showed him around her small queendom, where everything was exactly as she wanted it to be and where no man had ever lived with her before permanently. “Well, that’s it. It’s not much, but it’s my home and I love it very much. I hope your Imperial Majesty won’t feel too confined.” She had gathered back her confidence, taking the reins. This was her home, her castle. Her rules. He was a guest who had come under the most dubious circumstances and she hadn’t made up your mind about what to do from here on yet, but then she was always exceeding at going with the flow and trusting her instincts, which told her right now to do as he asked. “Thank you Y/N, I appreciate it very much. And please call me Lotor. I have no recollection of being Emperor and I think we can save any formalities. I am intruding after all, but I want you to be as much at ease as possible.” The tenderness in his eyes and voice made her feel like she was melting. “Don’t mention it, I’m glad to be of help. Lotor.” She added his name with a smile and when he gave a smile in return the world stopped for a moment. It was terribly easy to slip into a new routine. He had insisted on sleeping on the sofa, which could be turned into a bed, but it was ways too small for him, but then even the bed wouldn’t have been sufficient for his tall frame. In the mornings she woke up, making breakfast for both of them before heading out to work. Lotor didn’t know how to cook, so she stocked up on instant food and showed him how to prepare a few simple things like sandwiches or pasta so he could make himself lunch while she was at work. When she came home in the evenings, Lotor was usually sitting in front of the laptop, surfing the internet and trying to figure out what had happened. Seeing all the evidence of what she had told him, made him believe, but he still couldn’t remember anything. On the third day she suggested over dinner “Why don’t we call the authorities? I’m sure they can help…” but before she had a chance to speak further Lotor interrupted, “There have been no news of Emperor Lotor being missing. That’s strange if I really am the true Emperor. Something must have happened, or do such news travel that slowly to earth?” With a sinking feeling you answered, “No, Emperor Lotor being missing would be very serious and big news in the entire Universe, especially on earth, since you had just left the planet. At least according to the news.” She looked down on your plate, when Lotor took her hand. “I’m truly sorry for imposing on you. I shall leave if you wish so. Just say a word and I’ll be gone.” “No!” She grabbed his hand tight in response. “No, I don’t mean to say that you should leave. You’re not imposing! But I feel that something must be terribly wrong and I don’t think that we will be able to get anywhere on our own here…”. Her voice trailed off and Lotor gave a sad smile. “I think you are right, but I also feel that I need a little more time. Will you grant me that?” His hand had started to gently stroke hers and all she could do was nod in response. “Thank you.” he said with a squeeze of her hand. “I shall take care of the dishes now.” With those words he stood up and started to clean the table and wash the dishes. It was a simple rule they had established right away. Whoever cooked was not to be in charge of cleaning the dishes, so since the cooking fell on her, the cleaning part was his duty. When she had brought it up he seemed slightly perplexed, but once he knew how to do it, he immediately agreed to the task. Generally he seemed very eager to learn about all earth’s customs and habits and kept asking lots of questions. After dinner they spent the evenings on the sofa, either watching TV, or her reading, while Lotor kept on researching all kinds of things about earth and its cultures. Sometimes he’d show her something that caught his interest and ask her opinion on it. Talking to him was so effortless, Lotor was an incredible listener, but an even more stunning speaker. Sometimes she wished he’d never stop talking, he was so eloquent and smart that it was heavenly to follow his voice. On Friday night they talked well into the wee hours and she fell asleep next to Lotor without realizing it. She slept so peacefully. He couldn’t bear the thought of waking her up. Instead he felt a sudden possessiveness coming over him, a strong urge to protect her at all costs. He wanted to embrace her, hold her and make sure that she was safe. But then there was no threat, was there? He honestly couldn’t tell. All she told him was in accordance with what he had read in the internet, all the pictures and videos were showing a male exactly looking and speaking like him. But he had no recollections of his past. There was only her and it felt so natural to be with her. He had no wish to leave at all. Instead he finally gave in to the desire to touch her. Holding her hand the other evening had made him crave so much more of her touch, but he didn’t dare until now. Right now she looked so vulnerable, all her guards down, only for him to see. Carefully he cupped her cheeks and brought their foreheads together, slightly stroking her nose with my own. She made a small sound, which immediately made him feel incredibly aroused, while he feared at the same time that she’d wake up, but although she melted into his touch, she didn’t. Emboldened he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in his lap, where she fit perfectly. As if she was made for being in his arms. He closed his eyes and drifted off.

Since Lotor came into her life she found herself fantasizing about him now and then. He was just so handsome and smart, how could she not. Once she even dreamed of him and how they gave into their primal urges and when she woke up she felt herself still throbbing and wet, but didn’t dare touch herself, knowing that Lotor slept just a few meters away in the other room, although the thought turned her on quite a lot too. Now she seemed to be in another kind of dream again, feeling his arms tightly wrapped around her. She snuggled deeper into his embrace, rubbing herself lusciously against him. In response she got a grumble from the depth of his throat and something very impressive started to rise against her thigh. She couldn’t hold back a moan, when Lotor pulled her even closer to him, suddenly biting her neck. The slight pain of his fangs entering her flesh made her realize that this wasn’t a dream, but very real. She closed her eyes and relished the feeling of Lotors embrace and his fangs at her pulse and couldn’t help but rub herself more against him. In an instant he turned them around, so she was pinned beneath him.

[please imagine the most amazing piece of smut to be written here]

From that day on they were inseparable. Lotor was always close, seeking her touch, caressing her and most of all he came to be a big fan of kissing. There were a few moments in which she asked herself where this might lead, but in the end she never thought it through. Life was now and now it felt as good as never before.

Until she checked the news on the way home this night and Lotor was reported to not having been seen since he left earth two weeks prior. It was time to return to reality. With a sinking feeling she arrived, Lotor greeted her as passionate as ever and for a few more moments she gave in and left it behind. But tonight was different after all. “We need to talk.”

After Lotor had turned off the TV everything fell silent. All she could hear was the strong beat of his heart beneath her ear.