#HOW DO PEOPLE SWITCH ENTIRE CAREERS. THAT IS WHAT I WANT TO KNOW. HOW DO THEY GET HIRED ON VIBES ALONE
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hey, im a young nz artist too and i like making comics/want to do something bigger when im older, and i think your stuff is genuinely so fucking cool. i love it so much. i was wondering how you pursued art after highschool, like did you go to art school? if so, where and what was that like, and if not, how’d you find the time to continue doing it? its always felt like my opportunities for a career in art specifically seem smaller living in nz, but idk your stuff inspires me to think otherwise. thank you :)
kia ora!!
thanks so much for asking, it's truly so flattering that a young nz artist would ask me for advice! <3 sadly i might not necessarily be the best person to ask...
First of all, it's been a loooooong time since i've been a young artist hahaha I'm 32. After high school, I studied architecture at university because, as you're probably aware, we don't really have art schools like our peers do overseas. But after studying for a few years, I had a major depressive episode and dropped out. After that, I ran away to Korea to teach english for a year before coming back to work in cafes for about 6 years. Back then I was pursuing a career in editorial illustration cause that's what all my favourite artists were doing but I didn't realise that it was a dying industry at the time and there weren't exactly lot of full-time professional artists here who could have warned me...
So after about 10 years of trying to piece together some kind of profession in illustration, I ended up looking for a tattoo apprenticeship which was looking pretty promising but my bosses turned out to be not-so-great people. I tried to keep tattooing on my own but that was around the time COVID hit which wasn't (and still isn't) great for a job that requires you meet face-to-face with a lot of people. So, since the pandemic began, I've just been subsisting off of jobseeker, chipping away at comics and the occasional illustration gig.
The whole experience had me perpetually burnt out for the past ~15 years and made me realise that art as a career really just shouldn't be a thing. Under capitalism, it requires either an embarrassing level of compromise, privilege or luck to pursue. All the household-name artists you know in NZ either come from privilege or got unbelievably lucky. I don't say this as a value judgment or anything, most of them are truly wonderful people, it's just what I've learned about them as colleagues who've worked together a few times over the years.
I don't fault anyone for wanting to pursue that, but if you want to make uncompromising art that makes you feel fulfilled, you can't stake your livelihood on it. Art is supposed to be a by-product of life well lived, not content to be sold.
It's why I'm making plans to go back to uni next year to switch careers into a cushy office job because, as you've observed, even if you still want to pursue this as a full-time career, opportunities for artists in Aotearoa is extremely limited.
Having said all that, there's still a lot of nuance to this whole thing that would take me too long to cover in a tumblr post, so if you'd like me to elaborate or anything or have more questions, you're more than welcome to contact me through my email: [email protected]!
And this offer extends to literally anyone who might be looking for advice or just wants to talk about art <3
Final thing: the thought of studying something else at college/ university and keeping your art as a hobby might sound bleak when you're young, but life is so much longer than you think. You might feel like you have limitless creativity and ideas at the moment but when it becomes your entire life, you burn through it all faster than you'd think. It's because you need fuel to inform what you make and you can't get that from just making art. Like I always say, art is a by-product of a life well lived; You need life-experiences; You need to love, hate, care, be hated and loved to make art and you can't do that if you're too busy to do any of that. Those 3 years you spend on a bachelors is nothing in comparison to a lifetime of staring at a blank page, agonizing over what to make next.
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Ok so I completely flubbed my first ever phone interview a few months ago even though it was for an identical position to what I currently have and now I just have to not sabotage myself on this one even though it's a completely different position I have less experience in. I CAN DO THIS, SOMEHOW
#how to convince myself that I am capable of learning this stuff and they wouldn't have called me back if they didn't think that was true#this is the problem with basically walking into a job as a college student and then never leaving#I just do not know how to market myself or how to explain that a stretch is not as much of a stretch as it may seem#HOW DO PEOPLE SWITCH ENTIRE CAREERS. THAT IS WHAT I WANT TO KNOW. HOW DO THEY GET HIRED ON VIBES ALONE
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Changing Lanes
Charles Leclerc x Horner!Reader
Summary: Charles Leclerc always thought he would spend the rest of his career racing in red. But you make him see that he deserves better than false promises and unrequited love
“Took you long enough,” you say, lounging casually on the small leather couch in Charles’ driver’s room, your fingertips tracing intricate patterns on the cushion beside you.
Charles raises an eyebrow, letting out a dry laugh as he kicks off his shoes. “Every single time I see you, Y/N, you always have something to say.”
You linger on him. “Is it my fault you had to chat with the entire paddock before coming here?”
He smirks, crossing the room. “It’s called being polite. Something you could learn from.”
“Polite?” You scoff, feigning innocence. “Oh, like how Ferrari celebrated that P3 like it was a win? That kind of polite?”
Charles stiffens but he keeps his cool. “We take what we can get.”
You tilt your head, eyes narrowing. “Starting on pole and settling for P3? Charles, you deserve better.”
“I know,” he sighs, avoiding your gaze. “But this is racing. Sometimes it just doesn’t go your way.”
You lean in closer, your voice dropping an octave. “It could, though. If you were with a team that actually valued you, that gave you a car worthy of your talent.”
He looks up, meeting your gaze with a challenge. “You mean Red Bull?”
A coy smile plays on your lips. “It’s not a secret that Dad wants you. And imagine … you, in a competitive car, and me, right by your side as your race engineer.”
Charles’ eyes dart to your lips then back up to your eyes. “Tempting,” he murmurs, leaning in just a fraction closer. “But is this for the team or for you?”
“Can’t it be both?” You whisper back.
His breath hitches and he pulls back slightly. “This isn’t just about racing, is it?”
You hesitate. “I see how they treat you. How they let you down time and time again. But with us ... with me ... it would be different.”
He looks conflicted. “It’s not that simple.”
“Why not?” You press. “With Red Bull, you’d have support, a competitive car, and … me.”
Charles sighs, running a hand through his hair. “It’s not just about what happens on track. It’s about the politics, the contracts, the media ... it’s all complicated.”
“You make it sound like an impossible puzzle,” you say, tracing circles on his wrist. You gaze locks with his, trying to convey everything you feel.
“It might be.”
You lean in, lips just inches from his. “Then let’s solve it together.”
He hesitates, searching your eyes. “You’re playing a dangerous game, Y/N.”
You smirk, confidence oozing from every pore. “Isn’t that what racing’s all about?”
Charles chuckles softly, the tension in the room slowly melting away. “You always have an answer for everything.”
“It’s the Horner in me,” you retort with a smug smile. “Besides, aren’t you tired of being just another pawn in Ferrari’s game?”
“It’s not easy. To just switch teams, to give up on something you’ve worked for your entire life.”
You reach up, tucking a stray lock of hair behind his ear. “Who says you’re giving up? You’d be making a choice. A choice to be somewhere you’re valued. Somewhere you have a real shot at the championship. With people who truly care about you and actions that reflect that.”
He closes his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. “It’s not just about the racing. There are so many other factors.”
“Like what?”
He opens his eyes, meeting yours. “Like us.”
You blink, taken aback. “What do you mean?”
“If I come to Red Bull … if I work with you … it changes everything. Our relationship. Our dynamic. Everything.”
You take a moment, absorbing his words. “We can handle it. We’re strong enough.”
He gives you a sad smile. “I wish I had your confidence.”
You cup his cheek, your thumb stroking his skin. “You have me. Together, we can face anything.”
Charles looks at you for a long moment, his emotions raw and exposed. Finally, he speaks. “I’ll think about it. But whatever I decide … know that it’s not just about racing. I refuse to give you up.”
“Just promise me one thing.”
He raises an eyebrow. “What?”
You lean in, your lips brushing his ear. “Never settle for less than you deserve.”
He smiles, capturing your lips in a soft, lingering kiss. “Same goes for you, Y/N Horner.”
***
“I still can’t believe they forgot to remove the radiator blank,” you murmur, your fingers softly tracing patterns on Charles’ bare chest as he lies next to you in his São Paulo hotel. The dim light from the bedside lamp paints soft shadows on his face, emphasizing the frustration in his eyes.
Charles sighs heavily, turning his head to look at you. “Neither can I. Another race, another issue. I don’t even know why I’m surprised anymore.”
You lean in closer, lips brushing against his ear. “You don’t deserve this, Charles. You’re better than this. Better than them.”
He chuckles humorlessly, eyes closing. “It seems like it’s one thing after another.”
“Come to Red Bull,” you whisper, fingertips dancing down his arm. “You know it’s the right move.”
He opens his eyes, looking deep into yours. “Y/N, we talked about this.”
You press a gentle kiss on his jaw, speaking against his skin. “Hear me out. If McLaren overtakes Ferrari in the Constructors’ standings, you can activate your exit clause. You could leave them, Charles.”
Charles swallows hard, feeling the warmth of your breath on his neck. “And if they don’t?”
“Then we’ll buy you out,” you say confidently, trailing kisses down his collarbone. “Dad’s already spoken about it. We want you. I want you.”
Charles’ breath catches as your hands explore his torso but he tries to focus. “Equal status with Max?”
“Of course,” you assure him, pressing your body flush against his. “You and Max, racing side by side. Just think of the possibilities.”
He groans, both from your touch and the tempting offer. “A car designed by Adrian Newey ...”
You nod, “With plenty of oversteer, just how you like it. No more one-sided compromises.”
He laughs softly. “You’ve thought of everything, haven’t you?”
You smirk, lips hovering over his. “Always. And instead of Xavi, you’d hear my voice on the other end of the radio, guiding you, supporting you.”
Charles captures your lips with his, deepening the kiss before pulling back. “You’re making it very hard to think.”
“That’s the point,” you whisper with a playful grin, your hands tugging at his waistband.
He bites his lip, trying to resist your charms. “But Y/N ... it’s not just about the racing. It’s ... it’s us. What happens to us?”
You cup his cheek, gazing deep into his eyes. “We fight together, we win together. Every podium, every championship, we celebrate together.”
He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. “You make it sound so perfect.”
“It can be,” you promise, pressing soft kisses on his eyelids. “With Red Bull, you’d have everything you’ve ever dreamed of. And me.”
Charles smiles, caressing your cheek. “You’re very persuasive, you know?”
You grin. “It’s one of my many talents.”
He chuckles, capturing your lips once more. “I’ll think about it.”
“Whatever you decide, I’ll still be by your side.”
He smiles, pulling you closer. “I know. And that’s what makes this decision so hard.”
***
“Absolutely unbelievable,” your father mutters, watching the replay of Ferrari’s disastrous double stack. “You would think they’ve never done a pit stop before.”
You nod, equally shocked. But your attention shifts as the familiar figure of your favorite Monegasque storms into the Red Bull garage, his helmet still on and visor obscuring his face. You can feel the fury emanating from him.
“Charles?” You question hesitantly.
He doesn’t respond to you but instead turns to your father, “Christian, can we talk? Now. Somewhere private.”
Christian looks taken aback by the intensity in Charles’ voice but nods. “Of course.”
Charles glances at you. “You too, Y/N. Please.”
You follow, the weight of the moment heavy on your shoulders. Once inside the small office, Charles finally removes his helmet, revealing eyes red from restrained tears. He takes a moment, collecting himself before he speaks.
“I can’t do this anymore,” Charles exhales. “Every single time I think they’ve hit rock bottom, they find a new low. Today was the last straw.”
You approach him, gently placing a hand on his arm. “Charles, I’m so sorry.”
Your father is equally sympathetic. “That was hard to watch. I can’t even imagine what it felt like.”
Charles closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. “It’s not just today. It’s everything. I gave them everything. I wanted to win with them. For my father. For Jules.”
You swallow hard, emotions swirling. “They would be so incredibly proud of you. No matter what.”
He blinks back tears, voice strained. “I wanted to drive that red car to the top for them. But I can’t keep sacrificing myself for a team that clearly does not value me in return.”
Your father speaks up, “Charles, if you’re thinking of a change ... Red Bull is ready to welcome you with open arms.”
Charles looks up, locking eyes with him. “I know. And as much as Ferrari has been my dream, my home, I can’t do this anymore. I want to be with a team that values me. I want to join Red Bull.”
You’re taken aback by his sudden declaration but the look in his eyes tells you that he’s made up his mind. “Charles,” you whisper, stepping closer. “Are you absolutely sure?”
“It’s hard,” he admits. “But this is where my heart is telling me to go.”
Your father gives the two of you a moment, leaving the office to give you privacy.
Charles takes a shaky breath, pulling you close. “I never imagined leaving Ferrari. But after everything, I know it’s the right decision.”
You wrap your arms around him, resting your forehead against his. “They will be so proud of you, Charles. No matter what colors you wear or what car you drive.”
He smiles weakly. “Thank you. I really needed to hear that.”
You pull back slightly, searching his eyes. “This is a big step. I don’t want you to regret anything. Are you still sure?”
He nods, determination in his gaze. “More than I’ve ever been.”
You smile, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “Then welcome to Red Bull.”
***
“I have to tell Ferrari,” Charles straightens, determination evident in his eyes. “I just need to get it over with. Will you come with me?”
“Of course.“
Charles grabs your hand, pulling you towards his driver’s room. “Wait here,” he says, going in and returning moments later with his Ferrari jacket. He places it over your Red Bull team polo, attempting to keep your allegiance concealed for now. You both then proceed to the debrief room where the Ferrari team is waiting.
Fred Vasseur begins his speech the moment you both enter, “This wasn’t how we wanted to end the year but looking ahead to next season—”
Charles cuts him off, “Actually, there won’t be a next season. Not for me.”
The room falls into a tense silence, all eyes on the driver who has given them his heart and soul.
“What do you mean?”
Charles takes a deep breath, “I’ve decided to leave Ferrari.”
Gasps fill the room. Fred’s eyes land on you, finally noticing the Red Bull logo peeking out from under the jacket you’re borrowing. “And you bring her, of all people, here to tell us this?”
Charles squares his shoulders. “Y/N is here because I asked her to be. This decision is mine and mine alone.”
Xavi stands up, “After everything we’ve done for you! This is how you repay us?”
You can’t hold back any longer. “Everything you’ve done? You mean the countless strategy mistakes, the endless car issues, the complete lack of support?”
Another team member cuts in, “This is not your place, Y/N!”
“It is today,” you retort. “I’m here to support my new driver.”
Charles’ voice shakes but he speaks with conviction, “I gave everything for this team. I bled Ferrari red. But I can’t keep doing this. Not when it’s clear that my effort and commitment is not matched in return.”
Fred’s voice softens. “Charles, we’ve had our challenges but we can overcome them together.”
Charles shakes his head, tears threatening to spill. “I’ve made up my mind. I’m joining Red Bull. My manager will send over the necessary legal paperwork as soon as possible.”
The room is filled with murmurs, disbelief evident on every face. Charles takes one last look around, his eyes filled with pain, and turns to leave.
You follow closely, feeling the weight of every step as you exit the debrief room.
The second you’re around the corner, Charles breaks down. He rests his forehead against the wall, tears rolling down his face silently. “I didn’t ... I didn’t think it would hurt this much.”
You pull him close and try to find the right words. “It was never going to be easy. But you did what you had to. For yourself. For your future.”
He turns to look at you, eyes red-rimmed but determined. “I just wanted to make them proud.”
You cup his cheek, wiping away a tear with your thumb. “They would be proud of you. Not for the badge you wear or the car you drive but for the man you’ve become.”
Charles takes a shaky breath, pulling you into a tight embrace. The two of you stand there for a moment, finding solace in each other’s presence.
When he finally pulls away, he manages a weak smile. “Thank you. For standing by me.”
You squeeze his hand. “Always.”
***
***
***
Charles stands in front of the massive two-story trophy wall at the Red Bull Racing factory in Milton Keynes, eyes wide with wonder. “Ferrari would never do something so ... gaudy.”
You smirk, sidling up next to him. “And yet, you love it.”
“I do,” he laughs. “It’s … different.”
You lean in, whispering conspiratorially, “Well, Ferrari hasn’t had all that much to exhibit in the last two decades. Not for lack of trying from the drivers, of course.”
He playfully nudges you with his elbow, a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Cheeky.”
The two of you walk further into the factory. “So,” Charles draws out, “I was wondering if you could recommend a good real estate agent in the area.”
You raise an eyebrow in confusion. “Why would you need an agent when I have a perfectly good apartment we can share?”
“Really? Are you sure? I just … I wasn’t sure if you would want that and I don’t want to pressure you.”
You roll your eyes affectionately. “Of course I do, Charles. It’s not even a question.”
He smiles, the weight of the decision to move seeming a little lighter now. “Thank you.”
You wink, taking his hand. “Come on, let me show you around.”
As you guide him through the factory, he’s like a kid in a candy store, eyes wide with wonder and curiosity. “This place is incredible,” he murmurs, running a hand along a piece of machinery.
You grin, pulling him towards the simulator room. “Wait until you see this.”
He steps inside, eyes immediately drawn to the impressive simulator setup. “Wow.”
You gesture for him to sit down, watching as he takes a seat, adjusting the settings. “Ready for your first sim run in the RB20?”
He nods eagerly, “Let’s do it.”
As he starts the simulation, you watch closely, monitoring the data and providing feedback. The two of you work seamlessly together, the connection between race engineer and driver already forming and growing.
After several runs, Charles steps out of the simulator, a huge grin on his face. “That was incredible! The car feels amazing.”
You smile. “I’m glad you think so. The team has put a lot of work into it.”
He pulls you into a hug, burying his face in your hair. “I can’t wait to get on track with you on the other side of the radio.”
You pull back, looking into his eyes. “Me too. We’re going to do great things together. I know it.”
He nods. “I know we will too.”
***
“I have to admit,” Charles says, eyes scanning the paddock, “I’m thankful that Mercedes and McLaren are between our motorhome and Ferrari’s. Makes things less ... awkward.”
You glance towards the distant red of the mobile Ferrari building, understanding the sentiment. “Must be weird being so close and yet so far.”
He nods, a hint of melancholy in his gaze as he looks at the place he called home for so long. “It’s bittersweet.”
Pulling him from his thoughts, you nudge him playfully. “Come on, Mr. Pole-Sitter. We have a race to prep for.”
Charles smirks, playfully rolling his eyes. “Always so professional, Miss Horner.”
You grin. “Only when it counts.”
The atmosphere in the Red Bull garage is electric. Mechanics and engineers hustle around, getting everything ready. The RB20 sits gleaming, waiting for its moment to shine.
Charles adjusts his gloves, taking a deep breath. “Feels different,” he admits, looking at you. “Being here, in this car, with this team. But a good kind of different.”
You lean in, placing a reassuring hand on his arm. “You’ve got this. It’s just another race.”
He smiles. “Easy for you to say. You’re not the one in the hot seat.”
“True, but I’ll be with you every step of the way. Just listen to my voice and trust me.”
“I always do.”
As he gets into the car, you lean in closer to his helmet, your lips touching it’s hard shell. “And Charles? Stay safe out there.”
He looks at you and winks. “I’ll come back to you.”
The race begins with a burst of energy. Charles takes off from pole, holding his position as the field jockeys for placement behind him.
“Good start,” you say through the radio, your voice calm and composed. “Keep it steady.”
“Copy.”
The race is intense, with Charles and Max battling for the lead, their cars dancing on the edge of perfection. The radio chatter between the two of you flows naturally, filled with technical details, strategy adjustments, and the occasional personal quip.
“Feeling the heat from Max?” You tease after a particularly close call between the two Red Bulls.
Charles laughs breathlessly. “Just keeping things interesting for the fans.”
The race continues at a blistering pace, with Charles and Max pushing each other to the limit. But through it all, Charles remains in the lead, with you guiding him from the pit wall.
“Final lap,” you inform. “Bring it home.”
He nods, pushing the car to its limit. The cheers of the crowd grow louder as he crosses the finish line, securing his first victory with Red Bull.
“Amazing job, Charles! I knew you could do it!”
He lets out a whoop of joy. “Yes! Thank you, team. Thank you, Y/N. I couldn’t have done it without you all.”
The two of you celebrate the victory, and as the rose water sprays and the cheers of the crowd fill the air, you know that this is just the beginning of an incredible journey together.
***
“You’re sure about the medium tyres, Y/N?” Charles asks nervously as he looks at the other cars lining up. “Everyone else is starting on softs.”
You nod confidently, tapping the race strategy on your clipboard. “Yes. The upside of using the mediums is it gives us flexibility. We can extend our first stint if needed, especially with possible rain on the forecast. While everyone else has to pit early for hards and then again for inters when the rain starts, we’ll only have to pit once. Trust me.”
He inhales deeply, trying to quell the unease bubbling inside. “I do trust you. It’s just ... Ferrari ... the strategies there ...”
“I know,” you interrupt softly, understanding the trauma and distrust years with Ferrari had instilled in him. “But this isn’t Ferrari. It’s Red Bull and we work differently. I’ve got your back.”
“Alright,” he looks into your eyes, finding assurance and conviction there, “let’s do this.”
The race begins, and Charles holds his ground well on the medium tyres, though the drivers running softs initially show quicker pace. But as predicted, the clouds soon darken and the threat of rain becomes increasingly evident.
“Stay focused,” you guide through the radio. “Remember the plan.”
He pushes on, expertly handling the streets of Monaco. The cars around him begin to lose grip and one by one they dive into the pits for hard tyres.
Charles keeps lapping. He moves up the order.
“You’re doing great,” you encourage. “Stick to the plan. We’re right on schedule.”
However, as the first raindrops begin to fall, panic sets in among the other teams on the grid. Those who just pitted for hard tyres are forced to pit again for intermediate tyres, losing precious time.
“Now,” you command, “Box this lap.”
He follows your instruction, driving into the pits, and with a flawless stop by his Red Bull crew, re-emerges in the lead.
The rain continues but Charles navigates the treacherous streets of Monaco expertly, maintaining his lead. When the chequered flag waves, it’s Charles who crosses the line first and finally claims victory at his home Grand Prix.
Tears of joy and relief pour from Charles’ eyes as he takes in the moment. “Thank you,” he says over the radio, voice choked with emotion. “I can’t believe it. We did it in Monaco!”
You smile, tears in your own eyes. “We did. I told you to trust me, didn’t I?”
He laughs, the sound full of pure joy. “You did. And I’m so glad I did. Thank you for everything.”
As he steps out of the car and jumps on its nose, arms spread wide, the crowd roars in approval, their prince finally crowned in his home race.
Then he rushes to the barriers and jumps into the cheering crowd of dark blue waiting for him. When his sweaty lips find yours surrounded by the celebrating Red Bull team, you take a moment to whisper a promise, “This is just the beginning. It will only get better from here.”
***
The season flies by in a blur of champagne showers. Heading into the Italian Grand Prix, Charles find himself leading the Drivers’ Championship with Max nipping at his heels.
“I’m not sure I can do this,” Charles confesses, staring out at the Autodromo Nazionale Monza. “This was home. I don’t know how they will react now that I’m no longer wearing red.”
You rest a reassuring hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently. “Many fans support the driver, not just the color he wears.”
He takes a deep breath and looks over the crowd. “The Tifosi are different. They bleed Ferrari red. I’m afraid they will see me only as a traitor.”
“You gave them your all,” you counter. “They’ve seen the struggles. They know why you left. They understand. Trust in them and in yourself.”
As the two of you make your way towards the paddock, the familiar chorus of cheers fills the air. But instead of the jeers and boos he feared, a chant begins to rise among the crowd of red: “Charles! Charles! Charles!”
Charles stops in his tracks. “They’re ... they’re cheering for me.”
You nod, a smile playing on your lips. “Told you.”
He’s soon swarmed by a group of fans, all clamoring for autographs, photos, and just a moment of his time. It’s clear that the bond between Charles and the Tifosi remains unbroken.
An older fan steps forward, his Ferrari cap worn with age. “You are still Il Predestinato. We wish it ended differently but we have eyes. We watched the races. We know why you left. No matter what team you drive for, you always have our hearts.”
Charles blinks back tears, deeply touched. “Grazie,” he whispers and claps the fan’s weathered hands in thanks.
Another fan, a young girl with a homemade sign that reads Once a Tifosi, Always a Tifosi, shyly approaches. “We still love you, Charles,” she says.
He kneels down to give her a gentle hug. “Thank you,” he murmurs, taking off his Red Bull cap and placing it on her head.
As the day goes on, the support from the Tifosi only grows. They cheer for him during practice, during qualifying, and every time he appears in front of the stands.
It’s clear that the bond between Charles and the Tifosi is as strong as ever.
That evening, as the two of you sit in the garage looking over data, Charles reflects on his day. “I was so afraid,” he admits. “Afraid of being rejected, of losing their love. But today ... today was incredible.”
You close the analytics. “The Tifosi love you. Not because of the car you drive or the colors you wear but because of who you are. Just like I do.”
He nods slowly. “It’s overwhelming. Monza has always been special to me. To feel this level of love and support ... it’s more than I ever expected.”
You lean closer, resting your head on his shoulder. “They see your passion. They see how much you give on and off the track. Anyone who does not love and respect you for that needs to reconsider.”
He exhales slowly, “I just ... I wanted to make them proud, to win for them in red and bring glory back to Maranello. But knowing they still support me no matter what ... it means everything.”
You look up into his eyes. “And they always will. Because they know you always gave and will continue to give your best. They love you because they are loved in return.”
He laughs, pulling you into a tight hug. “Thank you,” he murmurs into your hair. “For always being my rock, especially in moments like these.”
“Now let’s go out there tomorrow and win.”
***
“Vegas, baby!” Charles shouts, swinging an arm around your shoulders, both of you holding champagne glasses that have been refilled one too many times.
You giggle, distinctly feeling all of the alcohol you’ve consumed. “We won! We did it!”
Charles laughs, pulling you closer. “We did! And do you know what people do when they’re in love and win in Vegas?”
You think about it for a moment, a mischievous glint appearing in your eyes. “Get ... married?”
Charles nods enthusiastically. “Exactly! Y/N Horner, will you marry me tonight?”
You don’t hesitate, “Hell yes!”
The two of you, in your drunken stupor, begin your mission to find a wedding chapel. However, before you can get very far, Max spots you and quickly catches on to what you’re planning.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Max exclaims, grabbing Charles by the shoulder. “Where do you think you’re going with Y/N?”
Charles replies with a sloppy grin, “To make her Mrs. Leclerc!”
Max bursts into laughter, trying to play the voice of reason. “Mate, as much fun as that sounds, I think you might want to sleep on that idea.”
But you’re not having it. “No, Max! We’re in love and it’s Vegas. We’re doing it!”
Before the conversation can escalate further, your father joins the fray, looking both amused and concerned. “What on earth is going on here?”
Max chuckles, “Your daughter and Charles here have some ... ambitious plans for the evening.”
You pout and stumble slightly, “Daddy, we want to get married! Right now!”
Your father’s eyebrows shoot up. “Married? Tonight? Seriously?”
Charles nods with absolute seriousness, though his precarious swaying contradicts his tone. “Christian, I love your daughter. And we won. In Vegas. So ... wedding?”
Your father places a firm hand on his driver’s shoulder. “Listen, Charles, I have no doubt about your feelings for Y/N. But my baby girl deserves the world. When and if you ever decide to propose, I expect you to get down on one knee, stone-cold sober, and ask her properly.”
Charles blinks, processing the words. “But ... Vegas?”
You laugh and go to hug your father, almost falling over in the process. “He’s right. Let’s just enjoy tonight. And if we still feel like getting married in the morning, we can discuss it then.”
Max smirks, “Trust me, you’ll thank us in the morning. If you can even remember this conversation, that is.”
***
“Charles,” you begin, your voice echoing in his helmet, “The team has made the call. You and Max are free to race. No team orders.”
There’s a pause on the other end. “Understood. May the best man win.”
The tension in the garage skyrockets as soon as the lights go out. It’s evident that this is going to be an epic battle from the very first turn. Max and Charles swap places multiple times, pushing their cars to the very edge of their limits.
“Breathe,” you remind him calmly as the laps go by, “Don’t loose sight of the race as a whole. There’s a championship at stake.”
The entire race is a blur of overtakes, pit strategies, and nail-biting moments. The two Red Bull cars battle wheel-to-wheel lap after lap. One side of the garage against the other.
Coming into the final laps, Charles is right on Max’s tail — the championship hanging in the balance between them.
You know there’s not much you can do to guide him anymore … it’s all up to Charles.
“Last lap,” you try to sound composed despite the pounding of your heart. “You can do this.”
The cheers and gasps of the crowd are deafening as Charles makes his move, taking the inside line and overtaking Max on the penultimate turn.
“Push now! Just a few more corners.”
As Charles crosses the finish line, the enormity of the moment crashes over both of you.
“Charles Leclerc,” you scream over the radio as tears stream down your face, “you are the World Champion!”
“Yeeeesssss! Yes! Yes! I ... I can’t believe it. This is ... thank you, everyone. To the entire Red Bull team, you’ve given me the chance to chase and achieve my dreams. To my friends, my family, to every single person who’s been by my side, believed in me, and supported me … thank you. And Y/N, you’ve been my rock and my oxygen. Without you, this wouldn’t have been possible. Thank you! Thank you. Thank you so much!”
***
“Whew! That was a lot of rose water!” Charles laughs, wiping the bubbly liquid from his eyes.
You chuckle and try to wring out your hair. “You didn’t have to drench me, you know!”
Charles grins cheekily. “It’s a special occasion, after all. Both of us on this podium? It’s a dream!”
Then suddenly, he turns serious and signals to his brother in the crowd below, who throws him a small leather box. Charles catches it and promptly lowers himself down on one knee in front of you, making the crowd fall into a stunned silence.
“I tried this in Vegas,” he starts with a laugh, “But I might have been too drunk and missed a few pretty important steps.”
Charles takes a deep breath and his eyes lock onto yours, saying everything that words would never be sufficient to. “Y/N, being on this podium with you, winning the World Championship, it’s the pinnacle of my career. But what we have ... it’s the pinnacle of my life. I can’t imagine going on this journey with anyone else, facing the highs, the lows, the in-betweens. Will you marry me?”
Tears flow steadily down your cheeks and you nod with a fervor that would make bobbleheads jealous, “Yes! There’s no one else I’d want to spend forever with.”
The crowd erupts into cheers and applause, the deafening roar echoing around the Yas Marina Circuit. Max gives a loud whistle, his face lit up with a big grin next to you on the podium stage.
Charles rises to his feet and pulls you close, attacking your lips as the crowd goes wild.
“Promise me we won’t head to a chapel right after this race?” You joke, sniffling and giggling at the same time.
Charles laughs, looking slightly sheepish. “I promise, mainly because I’m too young to die and your father would definitely kill me if I even thought about pulling the stunt we tried in Vegas again. You deserve a fairytale wedding.”
You press your face against his chest, feeling the rhythm of his heartbeat as fireworks explode overhead. “All I need for my fairytale is you.”
#f1 imagine#f1#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 fanfiction#f1 x reader#f1 x you#charles leclerc#cl16#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc fic#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc blurb#f1 fluff#f1 blurb#f1 one shot#f1 x y/n#f1 drabble#f1 fandom#f1blr#f1 x female reader#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc x y/n#scuderia ferrari#charles leclerc one shot#charles leclerc drabble
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building blocks | yjh (teaser)
(agreeing to be the teaching assistant is the last thing you want in a semester where you're already swamped with work. but, you need a letter of recommendation from the professor and you're out of other options. enter jeonghan, the menace who signs up for the class seemingly on a whim and disrupts your entire routine.)
pairing: master's student!jeonghan x TA!f!reader genre: university!au, strangers to ?? | fluff, some angst, smut rating: explicit, minors DNI (for the full fic) word count: 842 for the teaser (est. 12-14k) warnings: none for the teaser (full fic: smut, drinking, eating, etc.) full fic: september 13th!
a/n: i wanted to drop a teaser of my fic for the TA collab hosted by the amazing @camandemstudios. those two have been working so hard on this and i can't wait to read all the fics. but go easy on me because i know next to nothing about structural engineering. credit to @caelesjjk for this banner, it's so amazing 🥰
join my taglist here or leave a comment to be tagged in the full fic!
Your entire academic (and professional, for that matter) career has been a battle. A fight to be taken seriously. A fight to get the right classes. A fight to make the right connections. A fight for every inch that you’ve gotten. There are times that you wonder if it’s all worth it, wonder if anything should be as hard as this. But, all you’ve ever wanted was to be an engineer. To be able to leave your mark in some sort of meaningful way, even if that’s also a little conceited. It’s all you want and you’re so close to getting some much needed room to breathe.
Except…
You have to make it through one last semester of this damn Master’s program. You had been able to find a sponsor to allow you to commit to a final semester full time, with only part time research work. That’ll put you in a good position to carry on for your Ph.D, with your dissertation topic already picked and funded. Things had been going entirely too smoothly, in hindsight. You should have known. Everything about your application to the upcoming program is perfect. Except for the final recommendation. And, of course, the professor to give that recommendation won’t just give it to you to recognize the years you’ve put into this. No. He implies that there’s something he needs from you.
Nothing really awful, in the grand scheme of things. Not for someone that does want to return as a lecturer at some point down the road. It’s just that you didn’t really want to be forced into a teaching assistant position for Professor Choi’s introductory structural engineering course. It’s the course that weeds out who’s actually going to carry on with the civil engineer branch of the Master’s program from those who may switch out to something that better suits them. Which, again, isn’t a huge deal, except that you remember how burnt out the TA looked from when you took the course and it’s the last thing you need during your last semester. It’s also hard to know that some portion of your future hinges on doing this. It’s also hard to forget another friend of yours admitting Professor Choi had given him a recommendation without the hoops.
Whatever.
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and all that.
So you schedule your regular meetings with the professor, make a separate email folder for all course related communication, jot down the important dates, and figure out which lessons you have to help plan. First up is going to be the introductory class. Professor Choi comes in and introduces himself while you distribute the syllabus, an odd task when everything is available online through the portal, but he likes things in hard copy. Once he’s done his introduction, he leaves the rest of the first class to you, as he had with the TA in your course during your first semester. For a moment, you consider pointing out that this is a Master’s level course and you don’t really need to do the typical introductions. Most of these people have busy lives and, even though they’ll have to work together on projects, can manage without syllabus week. But, Choi is old school and you know it. You also need his letter, so what’s the point in trying to change his system? You’re not here to do anything other than fill a spot that he was having trouble filling, get your letter, and go.
When you scan the roster before the first day, nobody particularly sticks out. There are a couple of relatively familiar names, though you’re not sure you can place faces to them, but most of the students seem to be in their first semester of the program. It only takes getting to the introductions for someone in the course to stick out.
“Well, I’ve always been good at building Legos. I figure, how different can it really be?” one student answers.
It takes everything in you to school your face back into a politely interested expression when the rest of the class bursts out laughing. Your initial reaction had been incredulity. Surely he couldn’t be serious. There’s no way someone just wandered into this program because he liked building Legos. The laughter from the rest of the class dies down and you keep your attention on him.
“Why did you really join the program?” you ask. That’s what every student was supposed to be sharing. A problem for this student, apparently.
“That is why I joined,” he says with an infuriating smirk.
“What did you say your name was?” you ask.
“Jeonghan,” he answers without anything else.
You consult the roster in front of you and put a star by his name. This is someone you know you’re going to have to keep an eye on.
“Did I get a star already?” he prompts, earning another few chuckles from his classmates.
“Something like that,” you say and then turn to the person next to him. “And why did you join?”
i hope you enjoyed it! and less than a week til the full fic is posted 🫣
taglist: @newjihoonie, @tinyelfperson, @dokyeomkyeom, @miriamxsworld, @hongrizon, @klecksstorys, @sunflowergyeomie, @gyuminusone, @aaniag, @straykidswhoo789, @kimseokgen, @beomesbabe, @haolistic, @vanishingboots, @babybae-shisui, @harry-the-pottypus, @okiedokrie-main, @nuttywastelandmentality, @writingbarnes, @gyuhao365, @jjin-kun, @divinityyy, @dibidibidismynameisleeknow, @jelly-n (strikethrough means can't tag)
#seventeenTAcollab#jeonghan smut#svt smut#jeonghan x reader#svt x reader#seventeen x reader#seventeen smut#jeonghan imagines#svt imagines#seventeen imagines#jeonghan x you#svt x you#seventeen x you#jeonghan scenarios#svt scenarios#seventeen scenarios#jeonghan fluff#jeonghan angst#svt fluff#svt angst#seventeen fluff#seventeen angst#jeonghan fanfic#svt fanfic#seventeen fanfic#thediamondlifenetwork#svthub#kvanity
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WHY ARE THEY MAD? PICK-A- PILE
Pile One: Work Related
It appears as if you have people in your work environment MAD because they see you making more moves and less announcements these days. With great effort to not jump ahead energetically to read these cards inadvertently lets me know these people are mad because they’re watching you and still somehow confused as to how you are making more moves & advancing ahead of them. Imagine watching an entire movie and missing parts, forcing you to rewind. These people are watching you and confused as to how you are growing in your career, business, creative pursuits etc. The rewind energy I referenced in my example is what is happening to these people who are too busy watching you while they’re life is on hold and or are being forced to re-do something that they missed in their life. ( Saturn RX energy)
It feels like I’m writing in a circle, but I know that the energy I am picking up on from those people who are mad at you. You are running circles around these people while they’re watching you! AND STILL, THEY DON’T SEE YOU COMING. For some of you, they are mad because you found a loophole or some kind of weakness or lack in your respective fields which is the key to your success. While everyone is doing, looking, sounding, thinking, producing the same shit ( excuse my language) you are giving what needs to be gave, effortlessly. It gives heavy unique vibes. Nothing is truly new under the sun, however, whatever it is your doing and or offering appears to be different and to your credit- I am confident it is different. AND THAT IS WHY THEY ARE MAD!! To my next point, you have these people mad because you don’t do what everyone else does. BOOM ! It’s amazing how everyone does, looks, acts, says, moves, smells, and thinks the same while simultaneously thinking they are still different. Like how? EXACTLY. ( questions that need answers) While everyone else is copying and using others for a come up or lifestyle, you seem to be getting it out the mud- quite literally.
You have literally or are in the process of drafting something from scratch meanwhile others just regurgitate basic information, products or “skills” for clout and money. I keep wanting to use the word appear and so there’s something extremely significant about appearances. ( heavy Sun | Leo energy) For those gold diggers out there, man or woman, they are mad at you because they play dummy games and are now being rewarded with dummy prizes. The card, “these hoes aint loyal” (Chris Brown vibes) came out which is why I feel there are some gold diggers in your energy MAD at you. They took the easy, predictable and trifling way out meanwhile you took the harder way, and you are managing to get further ahead ( or will be, this may be a prediction) This could even be the other way around where you come into whichever work| creative field and things start to manifest for you easier and quicker as opposed to those people who may have been doing it longer than you.
TRUST AND BELIEVE- THEY ARE MAD!!!!
Last card out: THEY HAVE TO STAY MAD
PERIOD.
Pile Two: Single & Won't Mingle
I initially started this reading off with the disclaimer and then I deleted it. Then the energy switched just that fast and so with that being said- you have someone mad that you are not giving warnings, disclaimers, arguing, nagging or fighting for them to act right. This reading has two different scenarios- so stay with me. Some of you may not be single, however, you are dealing with someone who acts single. Feel me? We have all heard of those single married people. This can even be a situation where someone is mad because their ( baby mom or dad) child’s father or mother is acting single. The first card that came out was “ they are mad because you don’t want kids, anymore kids, or none of their kids”. You see why I’m conflicted? This is energy I’m picking up from a single person who refuses to deal with someone who has children. Or this is someone who has children with someone who is acting single.
It gets worse! Someone is mad you will not have sex with them. So, for those who do not have children or want anymore- this person is mad because you feel like that is their goal or simply you are not attracted to or making time for them for whatever reason. It’s messy and I am trying to explain this simply but there’s so many factors. NO WONDER THEY ARE MAD. Someone is also mad you know when, where and how to detach. Basically, someone is mad because you may feel like dealing with them would make things complicated and you are avoiding that outcome as best you can. Now that I follow suite and energetically detach, I can process this much better concluding that these people or person is mad because they want to be emotionally and or sexually involved in your life however, you see the red flags from miles and trials away. This person or people are mad because you are lit and won’t change for them and so this helps put things into better context now. With you being lit, this indicates that you are in a good place in your life whether that be financially, spiritually, emotionally or all the above.
Some of you are not heartbroken, missing anyone from the past or carrying any resentment in your heart. It’s like you have a clean slate in your life and you simply do not want to or are not ready to incorporate someone new or back into your life- & that’s fair. This person is mad because they cannot change your mind- aka manipulate you. This may even be people you don’t even know exist and when they see you, they get triggered because the energy you exude is giving “ fuck off” while simultaneously looking sexy or handsome as hell. No wonder you chose not to be involved; I literally could not think straight when my emotions were involved in the beginning of the reading. Everything was confusing and messy and in my personal experience and from observation- that’s usually what occurs when you get emotionally and sexually involved. Some of you may have strong Neptune, Chiron, Libra, Virgo, Pisces or 7th house placements. You have people mad because you are cautious, picky and unattainable if I’m honest. The next cards out are “ time is money, and you can lose it all and bounce back”. AMAZING . It’s clear a lot of you with this energy and mentality are bouncing back and have experienced that messy and confusing situation before when dealing with others.
With time is money, your energy now reminds me of Pile (1). You have redirected your focus into work related and creative outlets. Those creative outlets may now be work for you. If any of you have strong Neptune, Chiron, Leo, Sun etc. placements ( not limited to) it appears as if you are channeling your sexual aka creative energy into work or creativity. Which is another reason why they are mad especially if you resonate with Pile (1). I am proud of this pile because I can feel how much healing you’ve done. How much you’ve matured and how much wisdom you’ve gained.
On YouTube & TikTok, my “ Why Are They Mad” readings are quite popular however, usually someone is mad for petty, superficial and egotistical reasons. I can honestly say this is the first-time people are mad for VALID AND LEGITIMATE REASONS. I personally want someone to be mad that I’m focused, mature, creative, HEALED & HAPPY and have HIGHER STANDARDS. Hell yeah! This is truly what life is about and I can sense your Divinity. You are truly chosen, and you have DEMONS mad. Aw, I feel kindred spirits here… Just re-read this, the energy started off with low vibration and now (personally) I feel at peace.
WOW! Aw, I love you guys who chose this pile , spiritually I know you….
Pile Three: Stepping on Necks
Wow, I don’t know where to start. ( 2 minutes later, SpongeBob narrator voice) You have the world, your neighbors, family, foes, haters, ex’s, pastors, teachers- EVERYBODY MAD because your career is taking off. This is profound because this pile is for those who have been the underdog. This pile is for those who have been struggling, overlooked and receiving the bare minimum in all aspects of life- until now. I am not the type of lie, exaggerate or only speak about GOOD THINGS to appease anyone. ( which is why I’m selectively liked) Believe me when I tell you that a major shift has and or is occurring in your life. The cards “ your ass is fatter, and you snapped back after the baby” came out. On the surface, this would mean some of you may have gained weight for a multitude of reasons. Especially if one was struggling emotionally and spiritually- you gained weight due to eating and laziness. Others you gained weight because you had a baby ( congratulations) however, I do not dwell on the surface and so these cards indicate for me that some of you astrologically speaking in a solar return or progressive chart you may have had your moon in Sagittarius, Jupiter in Aries or 1st house, Jupiter in Taurus or 2nd house , Sagittarius or 9th house , Cancer or 4th house, Moon in Cancer or 4th house. ( however, not limited to)
What this means is that you gained weight and you were undergoing spiritual awakenings with hardships. Life has been hard and for some of you, your body took a hit. With the card “ you snapped back after the baby”, that may be the case for those of you this applies to. For the emotional and stress eaters -you will notice that you are starting to lose weight or break the habits that encouraged weight gain. AND THAT’S WHY THEY ARE MAD!!!! It’s never about appearances but more so what’s going on underneath and for most of you, you were holding on and feeding negative energy that is now being released slowly but surely. Some of you may have let yourself go and now you are snapping back, better than before. Of course they are mad about this!! Back to your career is taking off, some of you work in corporate while others work for themselves. Those working in corporations, you have always been at the bottom and making the bare minimum or simply never gained the respect that was deserved. Those who work for yourself, you have always been overlooked and paid very little if at all. Some of you may have had to go back into working 9-5 corporate jobs because your business was stagnant. People just did not want to support you at all which forced you to go back into “slavery”.
Nonetheless, this is turning around for you Jupiter style. ( or will be ) Astrologically speaking, check your outer planets- Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto – maybe even your progressive or solar return charts because however society treated you- this is changing. You will no longer have to ask for permission, meaning- you will have the financial comfort or freedom to live and afford the things you want/ need without assistance from anyone. In corporate, you may be promoted to a position to where others must report to you, or you no longer must report to someone- there’s more leeway granted to you. Entrepreneurs, this means exactly what it means. You do not have to ask for permission! Business will be getting better; energy levels will be restored, and you can come and go as you please. AND THAT’S WHY THEY ARE MAD! IT’S GIVING MORE FREEDOM THAT OTHER’S DO NOT HAVE AND ENJOYED TAKING FROM YOU OR WORKED HARD TO ENSURE YOU NEVER HAD. Some of you have people mad because no message is the message. ( DAMN)
Intuitively, I feel like some of you may be moving, changing numbers, jobs, contact emails- the whole nine. Those who had access to you before, no longer will. Of course, people feel the energetic shift ( refer back to those outer planets I’ve mentioned) Those people who counted you out and delighted in believing you would never make progress or move forward- now see you in a different light. They now want to be part of your life and “assist” or “support” you whereas, before you did not have that “privilege”. And yet now you are becoming privileged. ( without them) They are mad you are educated. As far as I’m concerned, knowledge is power and you clearly are the most powerful currently, ready to wield that power. It’s all fun and games when the rabbit has the gun ( some of you may be seeing bunnies a lot lately) & THAT’S WHY THEY ARE MAD!
You are educated, which alludes to some of you being able to go back to school to get degrees or this could be simply be speaking on becoming a wiser person. This can also speak of having a skill or talent that you have mastered and are the best at it. Referring to Pile (1), you have a talent or knowledge that sets you apart which is or will be the key to your success. Lastly, people are mad that “ you ain’t with the bafoolery”. This gives me the vibe that you said you would do something ( like succeed) and you’re doing it. You are proving it. You are true to it. I said lastly, but there’s a bit more I want to cover. And that’s your energy- you will succeed and then some. It reminds me a lyric Drake said, mind you he’s a millionaire, successful and never has to work again but in his lyrics, he said something along the lines of “ any other rapper would have retired but I have more to accomplish”. Blah blah. That’s your energy, you will be giving way more than is expected. ( example, I wrote a whole book for this pile) You will be surpassing others and your even your own expectations. People are mad that you are independent which automatically renders the majority POWERLESS.
Most people need others to need them because it makes them feel important and of course, a need can be capitalized. This whole world thrives ON A NEED. The fact that you’ll be in a position where you are no longer subjected to others, IS POWER & THAT IS WHY EVERYBODY WILL BE MAD. It gives underdog is top dog energy. Lastly, ( truly) like Pile (2), everybody will be mad because you do not want marriage. It’s like Rhianna Vibes, she’s a billionaire and everyone expects her to be married because she has two children. If you read pile (2), you just want to remain unencumbered, detached and not tied down to anyone. Especially after you witnessed the true nature of most people. You are cautious, focused and simple do not have time or energy to invite someone into your life who can and will try to take all that you have worked for ALONE. They did not care nor were they attracted to you when you had nothing so in your mind, it’s best they KEEP THAT SAME ENERGY & THAT’S WHY THEY ARE MAD!!!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! IF ANY OF THESE PILES RESONATED PLEASE CONSIDER "HEARTING" OR REBLOGGING MY POST. I AM TRYING TO BUILD AND EXPAND MY BLOG AND I NEED YOUR HELP TO DO SO.
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gone | daniel ricciardo
pairing: daniel ricciardo x driver!reader (part 3 to fragile line)
I just know You're not gone You can't be gone
The 2023 season is painful, its challenging and Daniel is still very much in your life in all the ways he shouldn't be.
word count: 9.9k (i dont even know how) warnings/tags: angst, heartbreak, all the painful stuff
“I don’t want to do this anymore.”
“Do what?”
You exhaled a breath that made your entire body shake, “You know what, Daniel.”
Of course he did. For the last few months, he was experiencing the exact same things you were. The uncertainty, the tension, the sleepless nights, god you were so tired.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be you and him. You were supposed to be a team.
So much went wrong, too much. Daniel stood in front of you now as you asked yourself if you were too far gone.
And you both knew the answer to that one.
That first race back in Hungary…you were a mess. You probably would have been a little bit more put together had Oliver not pointed out the lineup for the driver’s press conference.
“You’re kidding,” your jaw dropped, staring at the list. “Who’s smart idea was it to put myself and Daniel together?”
“This is Formula 1,” Oliver sounded apologetic, he did feel bad about the situation. “The FIA doesn’t care if he’s your ex.”
The FIA didn’t care but the entire world watching did. Speculations on what would happen, where you would sit, what would be asked flooded social media.
When you showed up on Thursday, Lando patted your back and told you to breathe.
“Easier said than done, Lando. I don’t see you being forced to sit with your ex.”
He chuckled at that because you had a point. “Look, I love Danny, but don’t let him get to you, alright?”
Originally, Lando did try to switch the sessions. He talked to Zak, PR, everyone, just because he knew how much you were dreading it. But alas, it was you who was now standing outside the media room, leaning against the wall as you waited to go in and get these next twenty minutes over and done with.
Your plan was to just say as little as possible to everyone. You were banking on the fact that the attention would be solely on Daniel and his return, and that was made clear when he walked into the hallway, getting warm greetings from other drivers and those standing nearby.
He had absolutely no reason to stand next to you, not when there were about ten other people who would have been dying for a few seconds of his time.
Daniel cleared his throat, hands behind his back as he leaned against the wall as well.
You counted six seconds before he opened his mouth, speaking to you for the first time since the awards dinner months ago.
“Not even a hello?” He asked, but he wasn’t the least bit surprised that you were completely avoiding looking in his direction. You ignored him and Daniel laughed to himself at your lack of response.
The door opened again and you took a breath of relief when you realised you were about to be called into the press conference. Just get it over and done with.
Daniel didn’t have the same priorities and spoke up again, “I just want to know-”
You promptly cut him off, you had to. “Look I think it would be best if we just-” god this hurt, you couldn’t even look him in the eye. “Let’s just not talk, okay?”
You pushed yourself away from the wall when one of the media assistants handed each of you a mic and gave you the thumbs up that it was time for the five of you to head out onto the couch. Daniel quickly followed behind you, voice low enough that you could hear but it was unlikely anyone else could.
“So that’s it? You have nothing to say to me?” He asked. “For the person who got you into Formula 1?”
You as well spoke in a harsh whisper, “You may have fast tracked my career but I could have made it to Formula 1 without your help.”
You liked to believe that was true. Was it? You’d never know now.
“But you did take my help,” he pointed out, a groan slipping past his lips as he sat down on the couch. You made sure to distance yourself from him, leaving room for Carlos to sit between you. Even still, Daniel wasn’t done. “You took my help, my resources and then my seat.”
“And what did you do?” You hissed, arms crossed over your chest as different media personnel started to slowly trickle into the room, the lucky ones who claimed the first row were probably close enough to hear you and Daniel.
“Pardon?” He turned his head towards you. Carlos instinctively leaned further back, not wanting to be in the middle of this conversation, but watching and listening intently, as were the other drivers.
“What did you do, hmm?” You repeated, eyes scanning the growing crowd before you snapped your head in his direction.
For a moment, this feud didn’t matter. Your heart skipped a beat, like it had the hundreds, thousands, of other times when his eyes met yours. The same brown eyes that for months you allowed yourself to get lost in. One look from him and everything around you faded to black. Nothing else seemed important when Daniel was looking at you, giving you his undivided attention.
But this moment wasn’t like all of those other ones.
You snapped out of it, returning to your original thought, much to Carlos’ dismay as he thought you guys were done and had started to relax in between you.
“We both replaced a driver before their contract was up, Daniel.” You stated, wanting to point out the hypocrisy in his actions. “You are no better than me. We did the exact same thing.”
“It wasn’t the same and you know it,” Daniel retorted, not skipping a beat. He had those words lined up for weeks now, waiting for the chance to say them because there was no way in hell you weren’t going to point out the similarities in your actions.
But Daniel was right. It wasn’t the same. The biggest difference being, you were in love with Daniel when you signed that contract with McLaren, and he was in love with you.
It wasn’t just a driver screwing over another driver. You drove a wedge between the two of you.
You had the thought to stand up and walk out. The press conference hadn’t officially started yet, the last few reporters were just finding their seats. You could say you’re ill, something came up, really any excuse to get out of here and away from Daniel’s harsh stare.
Don’t let him get to you. Lando’s reminder floated to the front of your mind and you forced yourself to just sit back and look at the small crowd instead. It was clear to everyone who even glanced your way that you did not want to be sitting there, but thankfully Tom Clarkson got the session up and running.
Of course Daniel was the star. Tom had questions about his return, about his short break, about being back with familiar faces. Daniel answered them all with such ease, the familiar heartwarming grin on his face that you couldn’t bear to look at.
You zoned out, really, arms crossed in front of your chest as you tried to ignore the double standards coming from your right. You doubted Daniel was going to get as much hate online as you had gotten. No one was asking him how he felt about taking another’s seat, everyone was just happy he was back.
“And Y/N, onto you-”
You snapped your head up, plastering on your best smile.
“Last year you finished quite high in Hungary in Formula 2 and after your best finish out in Silverstone, you must feel quite confident going into this weekend?”
You lifted the mic up to your lips, “Yes and no, you know the car’s upgrades are proving to be paying off and we’re hoping to use them to our advantage this weekend but one can never be too confident. As a team we’ll be fighting to be at the front again but in the back of our minds we know that everyone else is doing the same.”
Tom nodded, content with that answer, “And is it nice to have another familiar face on the grid? Daniel acted as a sort of mentor for you during your time in F2, did he not?”
You tensed up and next to you, Carlos felt it. He nudged his arm against yours, a subtle move of encouragement. Carlos, like most of the drivers, knew how uncomfortable the situation was for all involved.
But you couldn’t process the kind gesture. Not when you could practically feel Daniel staring at you, burning holes into the side of your head as he waited for your response.
“I think, yeah a lot of people are probably happy to welcome him back,” you spoke quietly, and not at all convincing. But hey, at least you removed yourself from the answer and gave a general response. One that no one could flip on you.
Tom tried, though, “But personally, what’s going through your mind right now?”
You had so much media training. You knew the proper answer would be something along the lines of how Daniel is a great asset to the sport and how the grid is better with him. Nothing personal, but just facts the general public could agree with. You knew what to say.
But you scoffed instead, “Why aren’t you asking the other drivers how they feel?”
Max spoke up from the opposite end of the couch, “It’s great having Daniel back.”
You shot him a quick, yet thankful, smile. While he was good friends with Daniel, anyone on that couch could see how that question was only given to you because of your history with the Australian. And this press conference was supposed to be about motorsport, about the racing coming up.
You stayed quiet for the rest of it and as soon as it ended you bolted out of that room.
Unfortunately, so did Daniel.
He caught up to you with ease, “Hold up, Y/N, I want to talk.”
Daniel reached for your arm and you pulled it out of his grasp as you turned around to face him, “I don’t think there’s anything left to say. No, you said plenty last year. What was it, exactly? Something about how taking your seat before your contract was even up was the worst thing I could have possibly done? I’m not going to sit there and listen to everyone praise you for coming back when you dragged my name through the dirt for the exact same fucking move. I’m not going to listen to a single thing you have to say, knowing you’re the biggest hypocrite this sport has ever seen but won’t admit it.”
Daniel huffed out a short breath. For a second, you thought he was going to apologise, but that thought quickly left when his forehead creased, his jaw tightening, “Sometimes you gotta burn a few bridges in this industry, but you figured that out all on your own, didn’t you?”
You shook your head, taking a few more steps backwards as heavy sarcasm dripped from your tongue, “Nice to have you back, Daniel.”
It really was anything but nice. Not when that entire race was focused on how you and Daniel interacted in the paddock- or the lack of interaction was probably a better way to phrase it. Everyone knew you two to be connected at the hip. Now you were turning around and walking in the opposite direction to avoid him.
The next race was worse. Spa. It was a challenging track already, you knew this going into the practice sessions. You were prepared for a difficult weekend.
What you weren’t prepared for was leaving the garage towards the end of Q1 to set a lap time, only to be blocked by Daniel before you could cross the finish line. He slowed down before the straight, like many drivers did before giving it all they had on their way to start a flying lap.
But Daniel didn’t speed up like you expected him to. He kept you behind him for as long as he could before shifting gears and taking off. When it was your turn to cross the line and get your time started, you heard the call come in from the garage.
“Times up,” your engineer, Ronnie, said through the radio. “You didn’t cross the line in time.”
Once that timer hit 0, no one was allowed to start a new lap. Every other driver made it across in time, but Daniel’s little move kept you from throwing your hat into the ring for Q2.
You embarrassingly made your way back around the track, pulling into the pit lane to park in the garage. It wasn’t long before other drivers followed, but they had all set lap times. Climbing out of the car, you noticed that Daniel didn’t make it through either.
Serves him right, you thought.
God, you wanted to give him a piece of your mind.
Right on time, you watched on the screen as Daniel dove into the pit lane. You ignored the calls from Ronnie and Oliver, not a single thought in your mind except to ask Daniel what his problem was.
Oliver knew what you were doing as soon as you stepped out of the garage. You ripped your helmet off and shoved it into his hands as he hurried to walk at your pace. Your eyes were set on the AlphaTauri garage just up ahead and you could hear Oliver warning you, telling you to just turn around and go back to McLaren but the second you saw Daniel get out of his car, you snapped.
“What the hell was that?” You asked, eyeing him up from where he stood at the garage opening.
Daniel wasn’t the least bit surprised to see you, but he did stand up straighter, already anticipating whatever you had to say to him.
“You’re a prick, you know that?” Your insult did little to offend him.
“It's not my fault you left the garage late,” Daniel shrugged, taking no responsibility for your inability to set a lap time.
“It’s completely your fault for slowing down more than necessary.”
“I didn’t want to run into traffic.”
“You fucked up my qualifying, Daniel.”
You felt Oliver’s hand on your shoulder. He wasn’t trying to pull you away, but the touch was to get your attention. Aside from AlphaTauri crew members watching this interaction, there was also a camera pointed directly at the two of you, streaming live to F1TV and whatever else broadcast that chose to air it.
Daniel wasn’t as concerned about his media appearance, stepping forward the slightest bit so you were only inches apart.
“If I were you, sweets, I wouldn’t be blaming your problems on the person who got you into this sport.”
You were so close to losing it on him for that comment. You probably would have, had he not thrown in his old nickname for you. Only it wasn’t sweet anymore. There was a distaste on his tongue as he said it, you heard it. He only said it to throw you off, to remind you that he no longer cared for you the way he used to. He was using it against you now.
Daniel saw the way you froze, completely losing your train of thought and he used it to his advantage to walk away from this conversation. He was happy to get the last word in and all you could do was drop your head and walk as close to Oliver as humanly possible as you made your way back to McLaren.
The altercation was heavily split down the middle by all who watched. Some people agreed that Daniel slowed down purposely to keep you from crossing the line in time to start a lap. They also agreed that he should have owned up and apologised for it, saying that it wasn’t in his character to leave another driver so defeated after something that was clearly his fault.
Other people agreed that it was your fault for leaving the garage too late, taking Daniel’s side. They said that it wasn’t very mature of you to confront him like that, or to swear at him. It only added to the conversation of how women weren’t ready to have a place in Formula 1.
Your PR manager advised you to put out a statement about it, an apology. You ignored her advice. In your opinion, the only person who had to apologise was Daniel.
Of course he didn’t, though.
Which meant you didn’t apologise when after the summer, In Zandvoort, you braked a little early when Daniel was behind you. You played it off saying you anticipated the turn too early. Daniel happily complained about you in the media pen when he was forced into the grass and then ultimately the barrier, forcing his race to end early. Social media blew up, like usual, feeding into this childish feud.
That’s how it went for most all, of the races. It wasn’t as though you were purposely trying to ruin his weekends, nor was it his goal to ruin yours, but if you happened to be alongside each other during the race or near each other during qualifying, fans started to put their money on who would target who first.
You didn’t like that that was what your weekends turned into. It was one thing to want to know where the rest of the drivers were in comparison to you, but to be so focused on Daniel was taking it to the extreme.
But you were determined to prove you were a good driver without him, that you were a better driver than him. That taking that McLaren seat wasn’t a mistake and if anything, he should be regretting being so harsh on you. You wanted him to eat his words, and it helped your case that he was definitely struggling in the AlphaTauri.
You finished ahead of him a handful of times. You could try and convince yourself it was skill, but a determining factor really was how horrible Daniel’s car was. That was proven when you were struggling with an upgrade package in Singapore. Some analysts compared the pace of the McLaren to the AlphaTauri, and said that the upgrades were really more like downgrades.
When Daniel finished ahead of you, claiming sixth that race while you crossed the line in 17th, you were furious. You told the team that as a whole, you were much better than that. That the McLarens should not be finishing in the bottom five considering how successful you had been mid season.
Those closest to you knew what you meant. You shouldn’t be finishing behind Daniel.
Things weren’t perfect after that, despite going back to the old set up. You were back to fighting for points, but so was Daniel. And you hated it. You thought you could rely on the McLaren being better than the AlphaTauri, but you forgot to take into account that Daniel truly was one of the best drivers on the grid.
It got to the point where you and Ronnie had a code. If you finished ahead of him, on the radio, Ronnie would say way to go champ. If Daniel finished ahead of you and you weren’t already aware of it during the race, Ronnie would say there’s still work to be done.
Again, those closest to you knew how much it meant to beat Daniel.
You wanted to prove to him, and everyone but you wouldn’t lie to yourself it was mostly him, that you deserved that fucking seat. That you made the right choice by signing the contract, despite it meaning he was without a car for a few months. You shouldn’t have felt guilty for putting yourself first, your career first, if you were doing something great, which you were.
Plus, the better you did, the less of a reason Daniel had to judge you. How could he still be upset with you for taking that McLaren seat when you were doing what he couldn’t? Scoring in the high points, being consistent, for the most part. How could he say that taking his seat was the worst thing you could have done when ultimately, it would boil down to jealousy? Daniel struggled in that McLaren, and he assumed you would too. That wasn’t the case.
And deep down, even if you didn’t want to admit it, there was still a part of you that aimed to make Daniel proud. Even if you couldn’t get back to when you were each other's biggest fans, you hoped that he had moments when he looked at the driver standings and nodded to himself, smiling maybe, because even if you weren't on the best of terms, you were doing what he always knew you could do.
You had no idea, but moments like that did come for Daniel. They were far and few between, rarely caught on camera or at least, never brought to your attention. You had no way of knowing Daniel was leaving the AlphaTauri garage, conflicted about how he felt about your accomplishments. You were doing better than him, there was no denying that. He just chose not to admit it.
The only time that season where you knew he was proud was at COTA. One of his favourite races on the calendar.
You qualified well, P3. That hadn’t happened since Silverstone. The race itself didn’t produce anything too horrible, aside from a few drivers at the back of the grid collided early on and unfortunately Daniel was one of them, being forced to retire.
You, though, you were flying. Your biggest competition was Lando who had started P2, again, similar to Silverstone. For most of the race, your job was to defend Carlos who was aiming for that podium, wanting to take P3 from you.
Typically, you would have boxed first. That’s usually what happened to give Lando the advantage. And with Carlos most likely being on an undercut strategy, you expected the call to come in to box ahead of him.
But that didn’t happen. Instead, you watched Lando pull into the pit lane, giving you the automatic second place position. In your mirrors, you watched as Carlos pulled into the pits as well.
“What’s going on?” You asked Ronnie through the headset.
“Plan F.”
Plan F was one you joked about, but never actually executed. Plan Fight you and Lando called it, but both of you knew that you’d never actually be given the go ahead to fight it out for the podium positions, not wanting to risk damage to the cars.
“Plan F?” You repeated, the shock in your voice evident. That made for good content on F1 Twitter.
“Box this lap,” Ronnie instructed before going on to explain. “Carlos is struggling with his pace, we believe his main goal will be to defend.”
From what you knew, Lewis was behind him, and if Carlos was struggling with his pace he wouldn’t be fighting for a podium, he’d be fighting to keep that fourth place position.
Which meant you and Lando were also free to fight.
Pitting for new tyres dropped you back a bit, but it didn’t take long at all until you were right on Lando’s tail again. You stayed there for the majority of the last half of the race, the gap wavering anywhere between half of a second to three seconds behind.
You tried to pass, truly. But Lando’s defensive game had always been strong. You looked for the opportunities in the corners, along the straights, but it wasn’t until the third to last lap did the chance come.
You had closed the gap as much as you could, not needing to worry about whoever was behind you, you figured it was still Carlos. As you approached the back straight, you knew Lando was expecting you to dart to the left in an attempt for an overtake on the inside, you had tried it in five out of the last ten laps and each time you were still left eating his dust.
You veered slightly to the left, giving Lando the impression that was your goal and the second he made the move to defend, you steered the car to the right and gave it everything you had. It was a tricky move, vying for the outside overtake going into the tight corner, but when it seemed to work out, you had the inside line for the following turn and Lando was soon in your mirrors.
He tried to take that position back, but you took advantage of the clear air and set off, determined for your first podium, determined to finish ahead of Lando.
Lando ended up claiming third, crossing the finish line only a second after you did. After a victory lap, where he jokingly flipped you off, the two of you pulled into parc ferme. Immediately, you collapsed into Lando, arms tight around him because not only was this a success for you, but for the team. Both McLaren drivers on the podium for the first time this season.
Through the cheers, you could hear Lando yell something about making history. Whether that was in regards to both of you or the fact that you were the first female to ever podium in F1, you weren’t sure. It didn’t matter anyway. You just knew you were proud.
You jumped into the arms of your team next, those standing behind the barrier. Adrenaline was pumping through you, you just wanted to celebrate with everyone. When you eventually took your helmet off, a few tears were streaming down your face and you didn’t even think about the risk of turning into the new George Russell crying meme.
You were shaking as you stood in the cool down room, too amped up to sit. Max had been through this dozens of times before. Nor was this Lando’s first podium either, but you were on top of the world.
The ceremony went by in a blur. As did the post race conference. You really did try to take in each second of it, thankful that Lando was there at your side the entire time. This entire process was new to you and if Lando wasn’t in your ear telling you to breathe, where to go, to enjoy the moment, you would have been a mess.
There was so much that happened following that race, there was no way you could have known what was going on with any of the other drivers. It wasn’t until you got back to your hotel room at the end of the day with instructions to ‘get changed because we’re going out’ from Lando, did you see what you had missed.
It felt like hours since you even looked at your phone. You had called your parents, but you didn’t have much time for anything else. Now that you were sat on the edge of your bed, you were able to scroll through your texts and notifications.
You were able to see the clip you were tagged in way too many times, on way too many platforms.
It was short, but any longer and you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself. You clicked play and watched the video of you crossing the finish line. Lando was following behind, but whatever broadcast this was from didn’t care about his finish. The shot switched to Daniel, from where he stood in the AlphaTauri garage.
Whoever was filming caught his live reaction of you coming second at COTA.
The nod, the faint curl of the corner of his lips because as much as he tried, he couldn’t fight the smile on his face as he watched you take your first podium position in F1, something that he once dreamed for you.
But you not being part of his dreams anymore didn’t mean that he stopped wishing you accomplished yours.
This brought you back to the first video you watched of him a few years back, before you even met him, where he spoke so highly of you. He wanted you to succeed so badly back then and he wanted to be at your side while you did so.
Now here you were, succeeding, but where was Daniel?
Maybe that’s where some of his hostility lied. You didn’t need him, clearly. Or at least, that’s what he thought.
The reality was, you wanted to prove you could do this without him, but you wished you didn’t have to.
You were conflicted, you both were. And it didn’t help that you weren’t speaking civilly to each other because my god a simple conversation would probably do wonders for both of you.
That was Lando’s thought, as he sat down next to you in the booth and handed you the glass of coke, no rum much to his dismay. You didn’t drink during the season, even if you had something to celebrate, Lando knew this. Champagne on the podium was the only exception.
Tonight, though, as you sat in your thoughts and replayed the image in your mind of Daniel smiling up at the screen, you figured that another exception wouldn’t hurt.
You turned down the coke and grabbed his drink instead, downing it in one gulp and instantly regretting it because you were fairly certain it was tequila based and tequila just wasn’t something you ever enjoyed. Lando laughed and handed you the coke to chase it down with.
“You’re letting loose tonight?” He asked, sitting down beside you. His arm stretched across the bench behind your shoulders. He didn’t even try stifling his chuckle as you struggled with the bitter taste left in your mouth.
“I need to,” you answered.
“You deserve to,” he corrected. Lando reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet and then a sleek black card. He didn’t say anything to you, nor to the server who came by and knew that by him dropping the card on the table meant he was asking for bottle service.
It wasn’t long before you had a row of shots to split between the two of you and a few others who had crowded the booth, some you knew, some you didn’t. Not that it mattered, you just wanted to drink, you didn’t care who you were with.
Lando being there was a godsend, though. He knew that you were a lightweight and told you that the glass in your hand was a vodka soda when in reality he asked the server for you to just be given water after a few hours of the most carefree drinking he had ever witnessed from you.
The music was blaring, you had gotten up to dance at one point, but you kept finding your way back to the booth. Clubbing wasn’t your thing and Lando, whether he liked it or not, was an anchor for you tonight. He kept you safe, kept you from drowning in the sea of people and alcohol.
He could do a lot that night, but he couldn’t prevent the inevitable storm that was Daniel Ricciardo making an appearance at that Austin night club.
Lando saw him first and turned to you with the intention of suggesting that you both called it a night. But no words came out when he saw the painful look of desire and despair mashed together on your features as you spotted the Australian driver.
You didn’t drink often, but if you did, you would know that feelings are often elevated under the influence. You’d also know that alcohol lowers inhibition, giving you a false sense of security to say what was really on your mind.
“I don’t get it,” you spoke quietly and Lando leaned in closer to hear you over the music blasting from all corners.
“Get what?”
You pulled your gaze off of Daniel before you could accidentally make eye contact and looked at your teammate instead. He seemed concerned for you, he always did when Daniel was involved.
Lando always did what he could to get your mind off Daniel and the past. He was a good friend, a good person to have in your corner but he wasn’t who you wanted there at the end of the day. You had grown to love Lando, not in the way you loved Daniel, though, so you couldn’t deny that you wished it was the Aussie sitting next to you in the booth, celebrating your podium. You hated that you wanted that.
“Do you miss him, still?” Lando prompted, knowing you had lost your train of thought.
When you shook your head, Lando gave you a look that clearly showed he didn’t believe you, but it was true. You didn’t miss Daniel. What you felt was much worse.
“I don’t miss him,” you answered, glancing towards him again. He stood at the bar talking to a girl that you envied because at least she was talking to him. “But I think he’s my missing piece.”
You hadn’t felt whole since the day you and Daniel split. You walked out of his flat but you left a piece of you there, a piece you desperately tried to get back through race weekends and training and distractions but it was no use. It would always belong to Daniel and you feared he had no intention of giving it back. You feared, that no matter how much time had passed, you’d always feel a little incomplete.
You stood up to leave soon after, thanking Lando for the drinks and assuring him you’d send a text when you got back to the hotel.
Lando tried to follow you to the door, wanting to tell you that he would go with you, the concerned friend making another appearance, but before he could get a word out he watched as someone cut him off, also making a direct line towards the door of the club.
It took Lando a second to realise it was Daniel who was walking after you now. Lando just stood there and raised his hand to the back of his neck, asking himself if he had just made a mistake by not stopping Daniel.
When Lando asked the next morning if Daniel spoke to you, you gave him a questionable look, telling him that you didn’t talk to him at all. Lando explained that he had seen Daniel leave the club right after you, but you just shrugged, chalking it up to getting into the uber before Daniel had the chance to catch up to you.
But Lando saw the photos. He, like everyone else, saw images of Daniel climbing into the car right after you. He wasn't the least bit surprised you lied about it.
You didn't want to tell Lando that Daniel had grabbed the side of the car door before you could shut it, pulling it back just enough for him to slide into the backseat next to you. You shuffled over to make room, but you couldn’t get a single word out. All liquid courage vanished and instead your palms were clammy, the car felt stuffy and you couldn’t even look at him.
Daniel as well, didn’t say anything. His legs were spread out slightly, knee hitting yours as his hands were folded together in his lap.
Why did he follow you?
This was the first time in ages you had been alone together, minus the driver.
The hotel was a short drive away, but it felt like ages, the two of you sitting in uncomfortable silence. You weren’t bickering like you often did if you were in the same room, but at this point you’d rather that than whatever this eeriness was.
You thought maybe, maybe, this was your saving grace. Maybe Daniel had followed you out of the club to tell you he was proud of you, to tell you he still loved you, to tell you he was tired of this feud and wanted you back.
But the longer you sat in silence, the more it sank in that that wasn’t the case.
You used to love each other. Now you couldn’t even hold eye contact.
Daniel waited until the driver pulled onto the street of your hotel before saying anything.
“Checo’s gone after this year.”
You turned to him, unsure if you had heard correctly. “What?”
“He’s gone,” Daniel repeated, more confident this time, still not looking at you though. “Marko told me on Friday.”
You had way too much alcohol flowing through your system to be able to process this. Checo’s contract wasn’t supposed to be up until the end of 2024.
But Nyck’s wasn’t supposed to be up in June and Daniel’s wasn’t supposed to be done at McLaren in 2022. These things happened in Formula 1, as unfortunate as it was for the driver getting the boot, these things often happened.
And Daniel…why did he know this information? Why didn’t the rest of the grid know it? Did Checo even know?
You inhaled sharply, “Does this mean-”
“The news is dropping tomorrow morning, but I wanted you to know first,” Daniel cut you off, his forehead creased with tension. His jaw was clenched, like he wasn’t happy to be saying this but felt the need to anyway. “I’m driving for Red Bull next year.”
The first thought that came to mind was he’s done it again. Taking another driver's seat before their contact ended. 2-1 now. He was officially a shittier person than you were and you so badly wanted to rub it in his face.
But you could see now that that was why he told you personally. He didn’t want to wait until you heard the news like everyone else, he didn’t want to give you an opportunity to attack him for this, to make him feel like the bad guy even though that’s how he made you feel this entire season so far.
Surprisingly, it wasn’t all that difficult to bite your tongue.
“Congratulations,” you settled on, quietly but you meant it and you caught him off guard because he truly was expecting some sort of lashing out.
The driver pulled up to the hotel right at that second and you thanked him before stepping out, not giving Daniel a second look, again catching him off guard because you always looked back at him when you were together.
Daniel waited a second. And then a few more before he bolted out of the car and into the hotel. You had made it to the elevator by that point and Daniel had to slide his hand between the doors to keep them from shutting. You watched as he pushed his way in and just like the car ride, said nothing.
You were on your way up to the twelve floor and Daniel waited until you arrived at the level before opening his mouth, waiting till the last second, wanting to cling onto this civil moment with you because who knew when it would come again?
“You’re not mad?” He asked.
The door opened and you had to brace yourself before standing up straight and walking out of the elevator, needing a moment to remember what side of the hall your room was on.
“I’m livid,” you answered, honestly. You were happy for him, but you were also angry about the situation. You didn’t know it was possible to feel both things at once, but in your drunk state, it was extremely possible.
“Livid?” Daniel walked behind you, trying to gauge the rest of this conversation because you didn’t sound livid.
“Enraged,” you said.
“Enraged,” he repeated.
“I want to wring your neck, Daniel,” you said, hearing him chuckle behind you because you didn’t sound the least bit threatening as you fumbled to unlock the hotel room door. The lock kept lighting up red and after your third failed attempt, Daniel took the card from your hand and unlocked it with ease, pushing the door open for you.
You didn’t thank him, instead relying on the wall once you stepped inside to lean against as you pulled your heels off. Daniel followed you inside, standing at a cautious distance until you dropped your shoes because part of him thought that maybe you would throw them at him. You were enraged after all.
You weren’t sure why he was still there. He had told you what he wanted to tell you and he had no reason to still be hanging around.
“What?” You finally asked, now sounding a little more on the annoyed side as you turned to stare at him. “What do you want? Why are you still here?”
“I want to talk.”
“About what?” You scoffed at him. “About the Red Bull contract? Congratulations, Danny. You deserve it. You deserve every fucking seat on this grid apparently.”
There it was.
“I knew you were mad.”
“I said I was mad!” You exclaimed, appalled that he was saying it like he discovered what you had already made perfectly clear. “I’m pissed, Dan. You have such a cult following that no one is going to bat an eye at you taking Checo’s seat, just like no one complained about you taking Nyck’s. Whereas I do it, I get offered the chance of a lifetime, to make history and I’m considered the villain? I didn’t end your contract, Daniel, I just replaced you and for some reason, no one cares about that narrative! They just care about you.”
You were yelling now. Daniel was probably regretting having followed you but it was too late for him to turn and walk out at this point.
“You know what the shitty part is?” You asked, stepping closer to him. Daniel could smell the vodka on your breath. That's how minimal the distance was between you. The last time you were this close you were wanting to rip his head off outside the AlphaTauri garage.
“What?” He raised his eyebrows. Daniel couldn’t even begin to guess where you were going with this.
“This news is going to drop and my name is going to be circulating in the media again. They’re going to compare this, you taking his seat, to me taking yours. I will never be known as the first female signed to McLaren. I will forever be linked to you, no matter what you do in this fucking sport.”
You shook your head at him when he stayed silent. Pulling your eyes off of him, the heaviest exhale passed through your lips and you turned around, wanting this night to end. After you waved your hand in the air you muttered something about how he could see himself out.
But he didn’t go anywhere.
And because he didn’t go anywhere and because you were drunk, you easily thought of more to say.
“You didn’t even like McLaren,” you sighed as you turned back around to face him, leaning against the wall. Your head was spinning. Maybe if you were lucky, this conversation wasn’t actually happening and it was a drunk figment of your imagination.
“No, but I loved you.”
You definitely didn’t imagine him saying that.
“I loved you,” he repeated, the past-tense admittance felt like a stab to your chest. “And I wanted nothing more than to race alongside you without feeling the need to prove something, to be your partner off the grid. I wanted to love you and race at the same time and you ruined that.”
All you could do was shrug your shoulders. You had said everything you needed to say at this point in defence of your contract, “I’m a driver, Dan. The race, the seat, it comes first, everything else second. You of all people know that.”
“We could have had both.”
Both. Love and a spot in Formula 1.
Clearly not.
“Could we have?” You asked, unsure if you even had an answer, but you needed him to really think about it. To think about it if that really was a possibility for the two of you.
Daniel and you held each other's stares for a minute, waiting for the other to say something. You were still waiting, hoping, for him to say he was proud of you, that he still loved you, that it didn’t matter what happened in the past, but it did matter. Daniel was still waiting for a sincere apology, but you had nothing to apologise for. Signing that McLaren contract was the best thing you’d ever done for yourself, despite the strings to Daniel you had now found yourself tangled in, McLaren was where you were supposed to be.
“I’m tired, Dan,” you shook your head and glanced towards your room down the hall. Physically, mentally, you were drained. And you weren’t ready for what was to happen tomorrow when his contract news came to light.
It didn’t even feel like you had gotten a podium a few hours ago. The last thing you wanted to do was celebrate. You just wanted to crawl into bed and forget that Daniel had followed you here.
He didn’t stop you as you walked down the hall. He waited for you to look at him, but again, you were past that. What was a second look going to do at this point? You wiped your makeup off as best as you could and slid under the covers of your bed, quickly falling into a dreamless sleep.
And sure enough, the news dropped of his contract, of his new seat, and it wasn’t long before people started comparing it to what you had done the year prior.
The first thing you saw when you woke up that morning, aside from the glass of water that Daniel had put next to your bed, was the news alert on your phone stating that Daniel was to replace Checo for 2024.
The second article you read was about you. Speculating how you would feel about Daniel’s permanent return. The article highlighted the moments of your relationship, starting from the day he signed on to be your mentor to the time in the AlphaTauri garage when you were fighting over the qualifying lap he ruined.
And then there was a photo of you climbing into the car from last night, followed by Daniel getting into the car shortly after.
His name was trending. Your name was trending. Half the people online cared about his return to RBR. The other half wanted to know if you two were getting back together.
No one gave a single shit that you made history yesterday, landing that podium.
You were the first female to score a podium position in Formula 1 and all anyone cared about was your connection to Daniel. Just like when you won the Monaco Grand Prix during F2, all anyone cared about was Daniel’s influence in your racing. When you were signed to McLaren, all anyone cared about was how you were replacing Daniel.
Daniel. Daniel. Daniel.
People didn’t care about your accomplishments. They only wanted to find a way to connect them all to Daniel.
You scrolled through the article and a new one was suggested for you at the bottom of it. Why Y/N Y/L/N Owes Her Career to The Honey Badger.
Instead of reading it, you threw your phone with as much strength as you had down the hall, out of your sight. You heard it hit the floor and slide across the hardwood.
You couldn’t remember the last time you read something positive about yourself without a hint of Daniel’s influence.
This wouldn’t have been as hard of a pill to swallow if he was still in your life the way you wanted him to be. If he really was still at your side, supporting you, cheering you on, you could look past the articles and speculations about how he was the only reason you were in the sport. It wouldn’t matter what people were saying if Daniel was in your ear reminding you of your potential, reminding you that you deserved that F1 seat.
But he wasn’t going to do that, not anymore. What you had was gone and you were left with the bitter memories and an unforgiving path you had to walk alone to prove yourself in this field.
You wanted to prove you didn’t need Daniel, but the entire world was making it their mission to remind you that at one point, you did. Maybe you still did, maybe you didn’t know who you were without him because let’s face it, everything you did on the track still revolved around him.
You cared about where he finished. You went out of your way to outscore him and only him. You didn’t do anything to relieve the tension in the paddock. You were very much playing into the narrative that he was still a key player in your life.
How could the world move on if you hadn’t?
Hearing footsteps make their way towards you, you sat up in bed, already knowing it was Daniel who didn’t leave when he should have.
You weren’t concerned about your appearance, he had seen you in a much worse state. He had better mornings as well, still wearing his clothes from last night, the bags under his eyes gave away the fact that he was about as tired as you were.
He had your phone in his hands, but he didn’t spend much time looking at the article on the screen. Instead, he dropped it to the table next to him and leaned against the doorframe, exhaling a heavy breath.
You didn’t move, content with the distance between you now because you had to be. Despite wanting nothing more than to be with him, you couldn’t have that anymore. Everything had to be at a distance.
Your phone chimed. Once, twice, and then about four more times. You knew it was people telling you about Daniel’s contract, not knowing that you had been given the inside scoop last night.
At one point, you loved being connected to Daniel. Now, it was a burden. It was haunting. Each time someone mentioned him to you, sent you something about him, asked you a question about him, you were reminded that the connection was gone.
Your lips parted and you had to take a quick, self-assuring breath before finally saying what had to be said.
“I don’t want to do this anymore.”
“Do what?”
Your entire body trembled as you spoke, “You know what, Daniel.”
Of course he did. He was as tired as you were. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this and yet here you were, staring at each other knowing that you were both too far gone to ever find your way back.
You thought, maybe, possibly, you could work things out. For a brief moment, when you knew he was proud of you, you thought you saw a silver lining amongst the grey skies. And maybe you did, maybe it was there, but it was way beyond your grasp. You couldn’t reach out and grab it, you could only dream of it.
There was one solution. One that broke you, knowing you were stuck with it. You didn’t want to admit it. You wished you could push it down and keep living the way you had but you just couldn’t do it anymore.
You were tired. This was hopeless. You both needed closure, but he wasn’t going to say anything which meant you had to.
“I’m stuck, Daniel. I’m stuck living in the moments between the day we met and the day I left because those are the moments that meant the most to me and I haven't been ready to let them go. I’ve never wanted to move on but you forced me to. You forced me to become the bad guy, to do this without you, to grow without you, to prove that I don’t need you but I do need you, I’ve always needed you. From day one, I needed you. My first time in the F1 car, I needed you. If I crashed out, I needed you. I always needed you, Daniel, and then after a five minute conversation you decided that I didn’t anymore. You made that decision for me, for us.”
You paused, you took a breath, you weren’t done. Despite being so painfully close to breaking down, you weren’t done.
“And now here I am, finally succeeding, finally making history in this sport, but it doesn’t mean anything because no one cares unless they find a way to connect it to you. I will always be in the shadow of the man I love and for this entire season, I’ve let it happen because it was the only way you’d still be in my life.”
Daniel cleared his throat when he heard that four letter word, standing up a little straighter, “You still love me?”
You glanced down at the duvet wrapped around your hips. It was heavy, suffocating, much like this conversation. “Truthfully, Daniel, I can’t imagine the day I stop.”
Daniel didn’t need to say anything for you to know he no longer felt the same. He had stopped loving you the day you signed the contract with McLaren. He may have been proud of your achievements, he may have appeared to have extended a short olive branch, one that gave you false hope, but he didn’t love you.
Because it always came back to that one question. How could he love you- how could he be in your corner when you had pushed him out of his own? You may not have been the one to initiate his leave, but you gave him that final shove.
That was a move you had to live with.
“I love you,” you repeated, your eyes then trailing towards your phone where that stupid article was still displayed on the screen. “I always will, but I can’t be tied to you anymore. I can’t do this anymore.”
Even though Daniel was the one that had broken up with you all those months ago, this hurt more. Hearing you finally cut ties, knowing you didn’t want to be done but had to be, broke him. There was no salvaging this.
“I think-” your voice cracked as you spoke, but for the sake of this conversation you did your damn best to hold it together. “I think we need to be done.”
We are done, Daniel wanted to say, but he knew there was more to your words.
Watching your bottom lip quiver made him want to pull you into his arms one last time. He wanted to apologise and hold you close before the tears could fall.
“No more comments to the media,” you stated firmly. Daniel nodded.
You were stronger than him, maybe you always were. Daniel could barely get a word out and here you were, laying down what had to happen moving forward.
“No more interactions,” you then said, raising your hand to your arm, a soothing gesture or maybe an anxious one, he couldn’t tell. “No more- no more following me out of clubs for people to see. No more giving anyone a reason to connect us. I don’t want you in my life as anything more than another driver on the grid. You’re not my teammate. You’re not my partner. You’re not in my corner. I don’t want to worry about what you think about me anymore. I don’t want to worry about where you finish and I don’t want you to care about where I’m at. I want you to focus on driving just like I want to focus on driving. That’s it. That’s who we are. We’re drivers, Daniel. That’s all we’ve ever been. Strip back every layer of us and racing remains. That’s how it should be. We’ve-” you sucked in a breath, your words getting caught in your throat for a second. “We’ve always known that, I think. That at the end of it all, we’re drivers first. We were foolish to think we could be anything more.”
You couldn’t have both. You couldn’t be in love while on the grid together.
You were only ever drivers. That’s why you signed the McLaren contract. That’s why Daniel didn’t think twice before replacing Nyck and now Checo. You both put your careers first. It wasn’t selfish, it was in your blood, and you couldn’t hold it against each other anymore.
And you couldn’t hold onto it either.
As much as you liked to think there would come a day where you would still be in love, both of you on the grid, you accepted now that it would never happen. It was a dream, one you had to let go of. You had to mend the hole in your chest that he created. You couldn’t let him be that missing piece.
You had to respect Daniel as a driver, much like he had to with you. But that was it. No more conversations. No more subtle comments made about each other or to each other. You needed distance. No more missed looks in the paddock, because surely someone with a camera would catch it. No more watching the screen if the other was showcased. No more petty feuds. No more interactions. No more caring.
You had to cut ties with Daniel. It was the only way you could focus on yourself and your career.
Surely, enough time would pass where an article would be written about you that didn’t mention his name and his assistance in getting you to where you were now. But that wouldn’t happen if you were still holding onto him. You had to let go for the rest of the world to.
Daniel pushed himself away from the wall without saying a word. You watched, tense, as he slowly made his way towards you and sat down next to you on the bed. Knees touching like they were in the car ride last night. As you turned your head and stared up at him, you could make out the details in his face that you used to cherish, that you had memorised so early on in your relationship.
But he had changed. There was a sliver of unfamiliarity in his eyes, a reminder that this wasn’t the Daniel who was in love with you anymore.
You had to look away.
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” you whispered. You kept your hands folded in your lap, worried that if you unclenched your fingers you would reach out for him.
Daniel nodded, agreeing with you. He raised his arm up, tucking it over your shoulders and pulling you against his side. You inhaled a sharp breath at the gesture, knowing this would be the last time you’d feel his touch. He rubbed his hand over your arm, neither of you thinking to say anything else, because there really was nothing left to say.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
You were supposed to be in love.
And maybe, in another world, you would be. If you didn’t make the move to F1, you could still be in love. If you settled with F2, if you moved to a different series, he could still support you and you could still be his biggest fan.
But you were drivers. Career focused, determined, passionate drivers who wanted nothing more than to win. You both craved the honour and prestige of a Formula 1 seat more than anything, more than each other. You’d be lying if you thought otherwise.
You were drivers, so inevitably, it was always going to end like this.
__________________
is this the finale or is there one more chapter for these loveless drivers?
taglist: @torossosebs@whatthefuckerr@jspitwall@oconso@tsarinablogs@landowecanbewc@somanyfandomsbruh@christianpulisic10@storminacloud@sunnytkm23@formula1mount@azxulaa@icarus-nex@spideyspeaches @moonvr @destourtereaux @baw-sixteen @cinderellawithashoe @love4lando @alesainz @blueanfield @itsmeempar @vellicora
for some reason im struggling to add anyone else to the taglist, i deeply apologise. i would recommend turning on post notifs but i know its sometimes annoying, but i rly am struggling with my mentions
#daniel ricciardo x you#daniel ricciardo x reader#daniel ricciardo#danny ric#dr3#f1 fics#formula 1 x you#daniel ricciardo imagine#daniel ricciardo au
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Hi, new to motogp and i’m a sucker for friends to enemies to lovers and relationships drama and pain so obviously i love marc/vale, i am also think marc is fascinating, but I haven’t found much info detailed info vale’s smear campaign against him/his media savvyness/his entire personality, like i think i grasp the bare bones but, are there any tumblr essay that are required reading to you? Also any good posts about this arm injury (aside for the documentary that i will be watching this weekend)
i love arm. ummmm his documentary is pretty much the story. like the central conceit/plot of the whole damn thing is to chart this latest operation on the injury he sustained in jerez 2020 its GONNA give you most of the information on that. now, that being said. marc is a liar sometimes, so i'm gonna try and gather some resources that might give a better idea on where his arm is NOW, because its something he kind of contradicts himself about !
simon patterson interview with The Race podcast: shockingly candid tbh. i think lil homie was having a bit of a crisis. standing on the edge of a cliff facing down possibly the end of his career. what if the move to gresini sucks ass kinda moment. couching his chances this year pretty aggressively. he ALSO says some stuff about how fucked up his arm still is that hes since tried to mildly walk back cuz hes funny. anyways because im insane i transcribed it:
SP: Did you have to switch teams this season? Did you have to change to something that gave you more of a chance to win after the last few years after how difficult everything has been? MM: Yeah, of course if I change teams its because it was something that I need. And yeah, of course it was a risky movement, but at the same time it was a movement thinking on my career, not on results in a short time. Its like thinking if I have the motivation, if I’m competitive again. You know, I had— three years ago, four years ago I had a very big injury, a hard injury in the arm. And yeah, now its working well, but still is not— I mean its the arm that you open four times. If you ask to a doctor, of course its performing in a good way, but its not the same arm. But I have many question marks inside my head. So, the best way to answer to myself is— do what I want. And yeah, its a risky movement. Why? Because the comfortable movement is to stay where I was, with my people, with my friends, with a big salary, the project. But I decided to jump to a new project and at the moment we will see if I can answer the many questions that I have. SP: It sounds like the reason you did it, the questions you have to answer are all for yourself. It's not about– MM: No, no no no– it's just for me. Because for me— I say many times in my interviews— if I don't feel competitive– and competitive doesn't mean win or win, it means be in that top five top six, and yeah five four podiums, five four victories. Win a championship is super difficult. And especially it becomes more and more difficult when the years are passing and the younger [people] are coming. So the life is the life and every athlete has his moment, and then step by step it goes down. But yeah I need to feel again competitive to continue with my career. Especially these last four years, has been, I mean– has been a nightmare, but is like it has passed super quick. The other years I was competing. I mean in the last four years I’ve completed half the championship, because I had many injuries, so now I need to find this stability, this pace. To start to create again a good base to fight for some races to the top positions— this is my intention. But to fight for the championship? This is something that still I’m not ready for. SP: You said that you learned a lot, during all of this. Is there things that have made you better? Are there things that youre gonna come back now with like new skills because of the experience? MM: No. I will not be better than before. Because– Yeah, maybe I have more experience, but before I was 100% in physical condition, and I was fresh. People say ‘No, he will come back stronger.’ When you have an injury, of course it's— injury is an injury. When you have an injury like two, three years, you lose the rhythm, you lose the feeling sometimes. And then it's super difficult to repeat all those things. But especially because your body— I mean they say the body is super smart, it can adapt. The body is super smart to adapt to new things, but it also is smart to remember what’s going on there. So yeah. I will be different, maybe— but not better.
theres also this similar quote from jan 2023:
theres also this recent statement from mat oxley talking about his arm and his sort of. show no weakness when it can be used against you philosophy
SO. following with that observation. he's started also kinda. being more noncommittal and vague in interviews/presscons now that he senses blood in the water. show no weakness expose no underbelly type stuff. so theres this in preseason which is actually around the same time as the patterson interview where he's still couching it a bit but hes also very adamant that his arm is working:
and then the BIG change comes around mugello this year, when he was fishing HARD for that ducati 2025 seat and changed his tune uh. QUITE a bit:
finally just some posts psychoanalyzing his ass about arm/injury, MOST of which are fairly recent. here, here, here, here, here, and here. ive also aggregated some recs for content good for learning about him in general here! go with god
#as for the rest of it. kind of a big ask i would recommend just goin through my marc tag and vegging outtttt#but in the meantime as meredith brooks says: hes a bitch hes a lover hes a child hes a mother#callie speaks#motogp#marc marquez#him and vale both use the press as this fun little tool akjsdfl
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pac: your next glow up ★
(one, two, three, from left to right) ☾ this is a general reading - meaning not everything might apply to you, so please only take what resonates and leave what doesn't!
PICTURE ONE ★
there's been a very limited outlook on life recently that you're slowly starting to get over. you need to realize your potential and stop wallowing in self-pity. is what you're doing truly making you happy? it's time to take a step back and reevaluate everything in your life.
there'll be a sudden creative outburst. maybe you're gonna try out a new hobby that's going to help you move forward in life, maybe you're thinking of a new creative way to make money, etc. i think some of you are gonna start using art as a way to express/cope with your feelings?
confidence! whatever you're going to start doing or whatever change you're going to make in your day-to-day routine, it's going to make you way more confident. the way you present yourself will change and more people will give you the recognition you deserve! other people pointing out your achievements will also give you a sense of self worth. sometimes we don't see what's right infront of us until other people point it out.
overall you'll be in touch with your creative side. more patient, confident, empowered and you feeling comfortable with yourself is going to help other people overcome their insecurities too! don't be afraid to talk about your journey with confidence. give some advice to the ones around you (but don't be overbearing), they'll be thankful (sooner or later haha).
some advice: don't let things stress you out anymore. start meditating, journaling or maybe start working out. try out different things to figure out what helps you release stress in a healthy way.
PICTURE TWO ★
expanding your horizont. gaining wisdom. hit pause for a second and look at what you have achieved so far. are you satisfied with everything? what would you want to change? look inside of yourself and realize that you are enough.
you need to realize your self worth and you will! you don't even know the impact you have on other people. i think few of you realize that others do look up to you, maybe you're kind of the leader in your friend group, at home, etc. you like being in control and that's good! but you also need to able to let loose. no one's going to think less of you if you suddenly decided to have a bit more fun than you usually do (and even if they do, you shouldn't care).
yeah, that's definitely what i'm getting here. let yourself have fun. let loose! i know education/career is important, but please understand that it is not everything. never let that define you or be the foundation of your character. there's a life outside of hustling, i promise. you're going to break yourself and work or study yourself into a burn out.
i think what you need is a balanced.. routine. between having fun and studying. don't let work/education take over your life, but i don't see you guys fully immersing into the "fuck work i'm going to have fun 24/7" life style and i don't think it's going to something you'd feel comfortable with anyways. this is what i see for you guys. a balanced lifestyle. peace and quiet when you need it. i think you're going to get more inner peace, too.
PICTURE THREE ★
first things first: i see some of you moving away, whether it's for college, your job, or maybe your entire family is moving. i think what's needed is a change of environment, which will broaden your horizon.
even those of you who are not moving: change is coming your way. it's going to scary for some of you, but this is for the better. think about the outcome. you need to welcome change in your life. stop avoiding conflicts, stop doing this stop doing that stop sabotaging yourself! change can be good. switch up your routine. eat healthy. think about what can help you in the long run.
ground yourself and think about what's really important to you. are your needs met? what's lacking in your life? are/how are you trying to overcompensate for the things you don't have right now? are you maybe suffering from heartbreak, depression or insomnia? it's not hopeless. you're not hopeless. really confront your feelings. that's the only thing i can say, but you need to internalize it. confront your feelings and sit with them. figure them out.
yeah, the glowed up version of you is different, it's welcoming change. positive change. you'll work on yourself, i can see you growing into someone that's confident, hopeful. optimistic, brave even. instead of running away from your problems, you're going to face them. you're going to help other people with what you used to be struggling with. you're going to use all the knowledge you gained to help other people grow!
you're going to look at the person you used to be and realize it was all worth it. change seems scary at first, but remember: it will always work out for you.
#pick a card#pac#pick an image#tarot#pick a pile#pick a card reading#tarot reading#pac tarot#this is my first pac im nervous
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dial. 4 (e.w.)
wc;cw: 5.5K, fratadjacent!ellie, all ocs r black coded<3, angst, SMUT MDNI!!!!!, finger sucking!!!, voyeurism, dirty talk, lil assplay, squirting, spit, a lil breeding kink, sextape, masturbation, more porn mentions, bussing untouched, weed, dubcon bc alcohol, pov switches bc im experimenting :p
You returned to campus surprisingly high-spirited.
You were arriving to class fifteen minutes early, color-coding your notes, smiling and laughing with your friends even more than you used to before shit hit the fan! It scared the shit out of all of them since the last time they saw you, snot was coming out of your nose while you sobbed your eyes out.
Dina knocked on you and Niah’s front door the night before class with tears in her eyes, whimpering out about how terrible she felt and how she should’ve tried harder to steer you away from her best friend. Nothing was her fault; She did what anyone would, and you ignored it. She slept in your arms that night.
When you joyfully volunteered to pay for you and Niah’s fancy dinner upon returning to campus, she grilled you, demanding to know where this change of heart came from. As if you weren’t screaming about how much you hated these hoes on FaceTime a couple of weeks ago. All you could do is shrug and laugh some more, confirming that everything would be fine. She seemed a bit skeptical when she peered at you over her glass of wine.
Niah even volunteered to be angry with you. I’ll still beat her ass! I don’t care if you’re feeling better; I’m not! But you didn’t even want that. You developed a crush on somebody that’s a bad person, who just so happened to have amazing dick! Shit happens, and you’re over it. Sort of.
You still have something that you need to take care of before you close this chapter of your college career. And there’s only one person who’d be willing to help you out!
“… You want me to what.”
Your feet tapped nervously on Abby’s hardwood floor as she gawked at you, her body lax on her couch as smoke left her mouth in a large, pale cloud.
After Ellie exposed her and Abby’s history, you decided to pry. Abby seemed a bit confused at your eagerness to know about their relationship, but she provided some insight. They’re apparently not as close as you thought: they’ve been screwing on and off since freshman year after Abby’s partner cheated on her with someone dressed in a panda costume. What the fuck.
Abby is actually Riley’s best friend, who’s also Ellie and Dina’s really good friend whose also friends with someone named Kayla and your brain is fucking fried and you’re not even high! You don’t know any of these people!
Since when did snooping become this fucking confusing!
Your hands fiddled nervously, “Um… well, I mean— “
“Listen,” she snickered. “You seem nice, like really fuckin’ nice, but I dunno about this. Ellie’n I aren’t… best friends or anything but—”
“I know it sounds fucking crazy! I know!” Your arms flailed, “This is really outta character for me, but… she…”
Tears immediately jerked in your eyes as you recalled Ellie’s harsh words. This is the first time you’ve cried since you’ve been back, “She really hurt my fucking feelings. Don’t tell anyone I told you that, by the way! I just wanna…”
“Use me to get her back?” Abby concluded, leaning over to ash her joint.
You pouted, “… You make it sound so awful— “
“Well, I mean,” she snorted, offering you the remainder of the joint. You took it gratefully.
You spoke around your toke, “I dunno what else to do. I don’t know anything about her. The only time I saw her slightly out of character was at the fucking party!”
Abby hummed as she listened when you exhaled. She didn’t seem… entirely off put by your suggestion, but she hasn’t said much this entire conversation. She probably thought you came here for another reason based on her appearance. Ellie and Abby were surprisingly alike. They loved themselves some fucking grey sweatpants!
Moments of silence passed as she stared at the floor with her lip between her teeth, and you knew it was over. She was thinking of a way to kick you out politely. Not only was your one chance at karma destroyed, but you might’ve cost yourself a potential friendship with Abby! You’re bound to be walking out of here without the dignity you attempted to salvage in the next five seconds. Is it hot in here or is the bud getting to you quicker than expected—
“Run the plan by me one more time?”
You looked up at her, meeting the mischievous glint in her eyes. You choked on your last puff of the blunt and your brows raised in shock. Her index finger tapped on the back of the couch while you went through the run-down for the weekend.
She still hasn't said anything after your second explanation, and your body flushed hot in mortification. You threw in the towel with a heavy sigh.
“Abby, I’m sorry,” you palmed your forehead, “I shouldn’t have thrown this on you. Apparently, I’m not good with strangers, either!”
You tried to mask your incoming breakdown with an awkward chuckle as you stood to leave, “Um… yeah. I’m sorry— “
“Alright.”
Your heart jerked in your chest.
“I’ll do it.”
“R-Really?”
“Mhm. Ellie never discounted when I picked up, anyway,” she spoke around her bite of a peach ring.
You leaped from the longue chair to the couch, squealing out thank you’s and throwing your arms around her neck. You felt her hand squeeze the plush on your hip, and you shuddered above her.
She grinned like a Cheshire and offered you her pinky.
“Our little secret?”
You smiled like a fox and laced yours with hers.
You don’t know when or how your balls dropped, but they were dangling and fucking huge.
Did you purposefully wear your Sunday best to the Starbucks that Ellie works at? Yes! Were your titties freezing on the way over here from the cut in your sweater dress? Abso—fucking—lutely! You received so many compliments from your peers during your sociology course, though!
Your heeled boots clanked on the tile with every step you took in the fast-paced line. You hoped Ellie could see you from the register!
It only took two minutes for you to be standing in front of the service counter, finally face-to-face with the first person you’ve ever plotted on.
“Morning…” you gazed down at her nametag, “Ellie.”
“… Mornin’,” Her eyes shifted, “Chai latte, extra mi—? “
You ignored the fluttering of your heart as she recited your order.
“Actually,” your tone was honey-sweet and your smile stretched across your cheeks, “I’d like a Java Chip Frap. Extra chocolate syrup… aaand…”
You pretended to study the menu board behind her, “A pack of Madeleines!”
She swallowed at the mention of her favorite munchie. You recall catching glimpses of her sneaking some into her pocket before her shift ended every other day.
She cleared her throat and stared at the screen in front of her, “Anything else?”
“No, that’s all!”
You scanned your student card while she wrote your name on your cup. You threw the most darling, pageant-ready have an amazing day, Ellie you could muster over your shoulder. You didn’t bother to wait for her reply before strolling to the pick-up line with a newfound pep in your step.
That was the best cold drink you’ve ever had!
Saturday came like a freight train. Today was the day.
Today was the fucking day!
You were absolutely terrified; You woke up with anxiety pooled in your gut, your mind racing with hundreds of questions.
What if something bad happens and all this plotting was for naught? What if Abby doesn’t show tonight? What if Ellie chose to just not attend the soccer house party for once? All this pent-up aggression inside you would never get released.
You rolled your black back seam stockings while Niah curled her hair.
“Is there a reason we're doing all this extra shit for a stingy party?” Niah asked as she removed her elastic band.
The second you returned home from Starbucks, you dragged Niah from her bed and into the mall. This would count as your monthly splurge (auntie slid you a few extra coins)! It was vital that you looked as sexy as possible, even if it meant putting a dent in your allowance.
“Can I not do the most for once?” Your brow arched, twiddling your fingers like an evil villain.
“You always do the fucking most,” Niah stared blankly as she curled her ends. You giggled and skipped over to where she sat at her desk.
“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” You cheesed.
She rolled her eyes, “Get out my face with that gay shit, bruh— “
“I wanna kiss!”
“I dunno why you’re so excited. You know damn well that girl is gonna be there.”
Your smile widened. She looked up at your silence with a glare, her sharp liner slicing through you as she studied your face.
“Did y’all fucking make up?”
“Not at all,” you hummed.
She didn’t let up, her eyes squinting at you before they doubled in size.
“Oh my god…”
“What.”
“YOU’RE FUCKING SOMEBODY ELSE!” She sprung out of her desk seat, almost dropping her curling iron. “No wonder you’ve been acting so fucking weird— “
“What’s weird about being happ— “
She squealed in excitement, “Shut up! Who is it! Who’s tearing them organs up— “
“NIAH! Nobody’s tearing anythi— “
“CALL FROM: ABBY SMILING FACE WITH HEARTS SMILING FACE— “
Siri, followed by your ringtone, blared through your speaker.
Niah slowly peered over at your desk before looking back at you.
“… And who the fuck is Abby?”
By the look in her eye, she must’ve already known.
Oh fuck.
“U-Uh— “
Niah sprinted towards your desk before you could stop her, snatching your device and answering despite your anxious protests and grabs for it.
“Yes, hello. Are you smashing my— “
“NIAH! STOP!” You were able to wrangle your phone out of Niah’s grasp, speaking over her shouts of just two whores fornicating!
You could hear Abby snickering, “So much for a secret.”
“I’m sorry! I can't beat her intuition. Or Siri!”
“You’re cute,” Her voice was like butter, “Just checkin’ to see if we’re still on.”
Whores! Whores, I tell you! Boutta sweat my wig off! Niah hollered, finally resigning and leaning against your desk.
“Yeah, we are. Unless you don’t wanna— “
“Shut it. I want to.”
A shudder wracked through you at the drawl of her tone. Niah shook her head, and you bucked at her with a threatening stare.
“Okay. I’ll see you soon?”
“See you soon.”
The two of you gently farewelled and hung up. You turned to see Niah shamefully shaking her head at you.
“I’ve seen a lot of shit in my lifetime,” she started, “I’ve never, in all my years, seen anyone fuck their side piece’s side piece.”
… Were you really the only one who didn’t know that Ellie and Abby canoodled?
Your eyes rolled, “You’re so fucking dramatic.”
She reached behind her and grabbed two nips of 1800, tossing one in your direction, almost cracking you in the face with the plastic bottle.
“You’re gonna need that shit. Harlot.”
The soccer house was on one; They knew how to fucking throw a not-Christmas party!
You prayed with every fiber of your drunk being that the feds wouldn’t show up as you threw it back on Niah as Dina grabbed your titties. Tequila’s the devil and coaxes sluttery!
Drake always sounds more talented when you’re fucked up. Good on him!
Eyes were burning through your body and you showed out for them.
Until you felt your phone vibrate in your fucking bra you can’t have shit in this house! —
You irritatingly pulled it out of your bra, leaning on Dina’s shoulder to read your message from… Abby, oh fuck fuck fuck—
You smirked and searched the dark room for your new pretty friend. A moan almost left your throat when you saw her standing by the counter packed with liquor… in a muscle tee that read DO MILFS, NOT DRUGS. And a lollipop stick in her mouth.
Your brows furrowed in confusion when you locked eyes with Abby. She nodded behind you with a grin.
You peered over your shoulder and instantly regretted it.
Ellie was standing against the wall in a flannel and beanie, yet another girl pressed up against her while she smoked. And stared at you. Stared hard at you. Were those the eyes you felt seconds ago? Pride exploded in your chest at the thought.
… But how long has she fucking been standing there, and why didn’t you fucking notice? You’re never touching Tequila again!
You shot another text to Abby before shutting your phone off, watching her squeeze through the crowd to get over to your little group.
“Okay, baby?” Dina shouted in your ear over the music as she rubbed your back. You nodded, keeping your eyes on the blonde girl.
Abby popped up behind Dina, tapping her shoulder to greet the girl that was propping you up. Abby whispered something to her, and Dina’s grip loosened around your waist. You smiled when Abby presented in front of you, throwing your arms around her neck to keep yourself steady.
You barely heard Niah’s shouts of whore alert before Abby leaned down to connect your lips. The shots she had mixed with her cherry-flavored chapstick and apple lollipop as her mouth caressed yours, calls of oh shit from partygoers around you drowning your head. The attention made you kiss her deeper, your tongue easing into her mouth as people hooted around you.
Abby’s strong arms wrapped around your waist to hold you to her strong chest, her sneaky hands crawling down to grab your ass through your dress. You moaned into the kiss, lacing your fingers through her curled locks.
She tightened her hold on your hips and spun you, a thin line of drool connecting your lips before your back met her chest. You held onto a shocked Dina’s hips while you threw it on Abby, your back arched while she thrusted into your ass.
Niah, ever the sweetheart, slapped it encouragingly, your hips pushing further onto Abby until she grabbed your shoulder and hauled you back up, her large arm enclosing around your throat. You felt her messily kissing your neck and up your ear, and your eyes fluttered open.
Don’tlookatEllieDon’tlookatEllieDon’tlookatEllie—
You did everything in your power to ignore her harsh stare, pulling Niah’s hips back on yours, exposing more space on your neck for Abby to suck, anything anything anything! Don’t fucking look at her!
“Ready?” Abby shouted in your ear.
Thank god for Abby; You were this close to looking at her.
You nodded, and she whisked you upstairs after you blew your friends' kisses.
Why the fuck was Ellie fuming in this dark corner?
Not only did you blow the fuck out of her high, but you decided to do it with someone she considered a… she doesn’t fucking know. Someone close enough for it to feel like a betrayal!
And you looked so fucking sexy in the act.
The person chewing on her neck must think that the squirms she’s trying to cover are because of them. They weren’t, not when you’re around dancing like money is getting thrown all over you.
How did you manage to get her so fucking horny with absolutely no interaction? You looked at her once since you’ve arrived. She could bet every cent in her bank account that you’re a witch! The sluttiest, sex-obsessed witch with good pussy. Not to mention, you’re so fucking sweet.
Well, you used to be.
Ellie’s never seen this wild side of you. You’re always structured and organized and sweet like fucking honey. Somebody will get a cavity if they get too close to you. She can attest.
All she could do was watch you and Abby trek upstairs with interlocked hands, something nasty stabbing in her gut at the sight. She knows she’s a hypocrite. A disgusting, vile hypocrite with the audacity to feel negatively about you seeing someone else. She’s fucked up and she’s horny and she wants you. Fuck, you have such good pussy.
And the prettiest brown eyes. Fuck, fuck fuck fuck—
She hasn’t seen eyes that gorgeous since she fucking moved away for school. Since the last time she saw her.
Seconds, minutes, it felt like hours went by as she replayed every interaction the two of you have had since you met. Sex, sex, sex, you trying to get closer, her getting upset at you trying, sex. More good— great sex. You're pulling the leash you have on her with your cunt, for fucks sake.
She doesn’t know how long she’s been standing off to the side, but the person that fucked up her neck disappeared. Probably took too long to fucking react because she’s too busy thinking about how tight your cunt chokes her dick.
What the fuck were you and Abby doing? Ellie knows she’s a fucking hypocrite.
She pulls her device out of her pocket to ease her stress, but her stomach plummets when she sees a message from Abby.
Ellie’s such a fucking, goddamn hypocrite.
She forces herself through the crowd and scurries up the stairs like the floors on fire, ducking and dodging drunk students that were in her path until she stood at the top of the steps.
She instantly hears you over the booming bass. A choked scoff leaves her before anything, your pleased cries ringing through her eardrums like a church bell, and she almost loses it in the middle of the hallway. She’s getting so wet and your moans are getting higher in pitch and she knows you're about to cum. Why’s she out of breath and pissed and drenched to hell?
The door’s right there.
She takes a couple steps until she’s facing it, her hand resting on the knob. You always asked her to keep all entries open when she fucked you outside. You’re just as gross as she is.
One twist and it’s over.
She’s such a fucking hypocrite.
Whoever owns this bed is going to need a new mattress. You’ve never been this wet in your life.
Is it gross that staring into Ellie’s shocked, glossy eyes are making your pussy squeeze down on Abby’s dick? Even after all the bullshit she’s done, she still makes you drip like a faucet. Shame on you and your cunt.
S—it down, you whimpered, and Abby chuckled.
Abby’s harsh thrusts slowed when you cracked out your command, a harsh slap landing on your ass, and the arch in your back deepened. Ellie exhaled a harsh breath and shut the door behind her, her body falling against the wood due to her wobbling legs. The more you inspected her bruised chest, the angrier you became. Who was she trying to fuck now? A nasty smile grew on your face at the sight of her in complete disbelief.
Abby pulled out until just the tip was inside before slamming her entire length back into you, your jaw slackening when an oh, fuck escape you and Ellie. You hardly recognized your own voice.
Her eyes left yours and stared behind you, your core squeezing when her fists clenched at her sides and eyes darkened.
S-Sit down. Be a good girl’n sit d-down, you whimpered, your walls squeezing on the silicone.
She looked down at you again, her cheeks tinting a darker shade of red whenever you addressed her. Your glare hardened when she didn’t listen, and her body cowered, eyes sparkling before pushing herself off the wall and onto the small lounge chair at the front of the room so she was facing you.
Ellie’s hands were fiddling in her lap as she took the scene of you: liner and glitter running down your cheeks in a heap of tears, bruised neck and tits pressed against her friend’s ruffled sheets, your ass bruised to hell. She could see your slick and cum glistening on Abby’s cock under the dim lamp of the room. Her boxers were a mess.
Such a sexy little pornstar, isn’t she, El?
Ellie wanted to cry when you and Abby laughed lightly. This is the first time she’s been speechless when it came to anything related to fucking. She loves sex, but she’s always, always, in control no matter what. The lack of ability she had over the situation made her throat dry and clit throb. She’d never admit it, though.
W-Wanted t’make me a pornstar so bad? You spat shakily. You’re gonna sit there’n record Abby f-fucking me.
Ellie’s breathing increased at the demand. You always looked so fucking sexy on camera. A natural vixen, you are. She’s never been this wet. Fuck, fuck, please—
Take your phone out, El, Abby encouraged with a sly smirk, You know how wet this pussy gets on cam.
Ellie’s body didn’t feel like hers, like her soul was floating above her physical form. She heard the soft platplatplat of your ass clapping on Abby’s hips before she realized the two of you were fucking again, your loud cries chiming through the spacious area. Your pussy sounded so fucking wet.
Atta fuckin’ girl, tha’s my girl, c’mon, Abby groaned while she watched your cunt milk her dick. She would give anything to cum in you. See her cum flow out of you like water. Breed you fucking full.
She couldn’t take her eyes away from your ass. The movement of it was hypnotizing and it was bruising beautifully. She almost retrieved her own phone from her jean pocket to take a picture for herself. Almost.
Ellie’s arm moved on autopilot, her fingers digging in her pocket for her device. You caught a glimpse of the flashlight she accidentally turned on in your haze, and smiled, fucking back onto Abby to meet her thrusts. You kept your eyes on Ellie as she held her phone up, the quiet blip indicating that she was recording.
Your eyes flickered from Ellie’s heaving chest to the two small lenses in the corner of her phone, your back arching deeper so that she could get a good look at your ass rippling from each thrust. Your nails dug into the duvet every time Abby brushed against your cervix, her dick plunging into your squishy cunt.
S-She’s fucking me s’good, Ellie, fuuuck—
Your babbles were sloppy and nearly intelligible, mumbled together in a fast, wet muss of your tongue. You couldn’t think about anything except Abby’s dick and Ellie’s fucking camera. You couldn’t stop your eyes from rolling back every time your eyes passed over the lens. Ellie was right; Maybe you were meant for porn.
Ellie… ugh, shit! C’merecomehere—
Ellie looked like a newborn deer trying to walk when she got up and stood directly in front of your sweaty, fucked out form. Her camera was right in front of your face, and a hazy, drooly smile made its way onto your face. You could feel your impending orgasm sizzling all the way down to your toes.
M’gonna squirt, fuck, thinkI’mgonnasquirt!—
Both girls moaned aloud at your squealed warning, Ellie’s thighs squeezing right in front of your face. Her hands were shaking around her phone and… her fucking hands are so sexy—
Your pussy was in agreement; The squelching sounds of your wet walls got louder with your moans, your screams flying off the walls with Abby’s, your eyes glued on Ellie’s long fucking fingers and the veins in her hands—
Your tongue lolled out of your mouth and licked over all four of the digits clenched over her device. She squealed in shock but you didn’t care, pulling away with your tongue out like a dog, eyes begging for her to fuck your throat with them.
Ellie held her phone with her dominant hand and dragged two wet fingers over the flat of your tongue, angling her phone so that the way your throat closed around them was captured. Ellie was whimpering to herself and desperate to fucking cum. Was she crazy or was she about to nut from you gagging and drooling all over your hand? She’s crazy; She has to be fucking crazy—
Her walls were squeezing so hard in her jeans; She might actually fucking cum. She’s a goner, fuck fuck fuck—
Milk her fingers like you're milking this dick, baby, that’s it, Abby moaned out before releasing a line of drool on your ass and rubbing it in with her thumb. You choked around Ellie’s thrusting fingers, eyes crossing in your head while your pussy cried. And squeezed so hard, Abby almost couldn’t move. You felt your juices leave you in a light spray as Abby announced her orgasm, squealing about how swollen you’re going to be with her cum. You’re cumming, you’re cumming so fucking hard—
Your head dropped onto the edge of the mattress, Ellie’s spit coated fingers ripping from your mouth and you screamed, your cum drenching the bed and Abby’s dick and waist, your clit jumping with every pulse of your walls. You couldn’t keep yourself upright any longer, falling completely flat onto the bed as your body thrashed from pleasure you could hardly bear. Abby’s body laid flat on top of yours so she could force her dick deeper into you, fuck more cum out of you and milk the last bit of her orgasm.
You sobbed from the intensity, but Abby didn’t stop until your hand flew back to push her off you. She planted one wet kiss on the back of your neck before gently pulling out. Your thighs were still shaking and your clit was twitchy, but you felt so good.
And so much better.
It took a minute for your teary eyes to peel open. Ellie was crouched down on the floor with her knees to her chest, heavy breaths and light whines leaving her mouth while her lashes fluttered.
Abby chuckled behind you, landing one playful smack on your ass before leaning over your form to whisper in your ear.
Think she came when you did, She snickered.
A breathy giggle left you. Ellie couldn’t meet your eyes, hers glued to the hardwood.
Your auntie was right; Maybe revenge was the way to go.
You shut the bathroom door and made your way back to the bedroom, where a dazed Ellie was sitting on the bed.
Abby left with a see you soon and a kiss on the cheek, leaving you and Ellie alone to suffocate in silence. She looked lost in thought as her finger tapped on her thigh, her teeth digging into the dry skin of her lip. You breathed heavily before walking to tower over her.
“I want you to send me the video,” you spoke stoically, nothing bothering to wait for her to speak.
She nervously met your eyes for the first time since you orgasmed, eyes glossy like a puppy getting scolded, before grabbing her phone from where she tossed it on the bed. She shakily tapped a few times before your device vibrated in your hand.
“Now delete it. Delete everything. Every video, every Snap. All of it,” your voice was sharper than a blade.
You loomed over her as she scrolled through all of your memories together, your cheeks warming at the sound of your moans and cries of her name, watching closely as she trashed all the footage of the two of you fucking since you met.
Whenever you were confident that no evidence remained, you ensured she would never hit your line again.
“Block me, Ellie. On everything.”
She exhaled shakily before doing so on every platform and line of communication. You spun on your heel when she finished without another word, heart heavy, leaving the room and shutting the door behind you to retreat back to the lively environment downstairs.
You deleted Ellie’s contact information when you reached the bottom of the steps.
Ellie was absolutely distraught. And the horniest she’s ever been in her fucking life.
She refused to move from her spot on the bed until a couple shoved into her friend’s room, eager to rip each other’s clothes off. She had too little and enough sex for tonight. She cringed when she got up and felt her cum squishing in her boxers.
… She can’t believe she busted from just your tongue on her hand like a fucking loser.
She didn’t bother to wait for Jesse and the rest of the soccer team like normal, opting to walk home and regain some peace of mind. The cold shocked her body when she stepped outside of the packed house, the melting ice crunching under her sneakers.
Much to her dismay, she thought about you the entire stroll. Her mind raced, flooding with images of you getting absolutely destroyed by Abby. And looking up at her while you sucked the life out of her fingers. And your sparkly fucking eyes whenever you laughed at something stupid and unfunny she said.
She fucked up, she fucked up so bad.
Anxiety was stirring in her gut all the way up to her and Jesse’s apartment.
Ellie hoped you wouldn’t be too mad at her when everyone returned to campus, but she felt vicious, unfiltered rage radiating off your body when you loomed over her. The disappointment she was so used to seeing after turning you down was replaced by disdain, and it made bile rise in her throat. Your composure used to impress her, but now she was terrified of it.
You actually fucking hated her.
Dina mentioned how she might’ve awakened something that you tried to keep hidden, but she didn’t care enough to listen.
Ellie didn’t intend to hurt your feelings, but she did want to keep you at a distance. You were caught in a crossfire you never needed to be in, and she didn’t do enough to stop you from getting hit.
She sees so much of her past in you. The moments of eagerness and joy and elation she felt in her younger years, it all crashed into her the second she stared into your eyes for too long. She almost saw roses blooming in them. She grew to despise your optimism very quickly.
Ellie shoved her key so hard into their door she thought she bent it, ripping it open and slamming it shut. All her weight fell against the wall and she sighed. Her head was pounding and so was her clit.
You’re so fucking hot. What the fuck.
Her hands ran down her face in exasperation before she kicked her shoes off, unbuttoning and removing her jeans and soaked boxers.
She slid down the door and squatted, her fingers instantly finding her twitching clit. She sighed at the sensation before dipping her digits lower, pushing past her entrance and collecting her juices to bring back to her rosy bud. She alternated between rubbing and fucking into herself, moaning into the dark space of the living room.
She couldn’t unsee… you. Everything about you. Your scars, the dark hairs of your furrowed brows, your plump, wet lips slobbering all the way down her wrists. The deeper she reached, the hotter she became, her sweaty bangs clinging to her forehead.
A-Abby, fuck me h-harder, please?
Am I a good girl? M’your good girl?
M’so wet, oh god!
You fuck me t-the best! Yeah, yes yeah—
Your voice was the only thing ringing through her empty brain. Anyone would’ve been embarrassed, disgusted, traumatized by what you and Abby did. The two of you shattered her completely, breaking down every barrier she built for herself for so long. Distance was no longer her priority; She wanted to be in between the two of you so fucking bad.
She was already so close, so close to tipping over, to wetting her fucking floor, all because of you. Fuck, she fucked up; Was it too late to tell her you were the best— one of the best she’s ever had? She has to protect her pride somehow, even if it’s pointless.
She dug into her cunt harder, grinding her fingers into the spot that made her see stars, sent her to fucking heaven. Your name left her mouth in an almost manic cry, whimpering the syllables over and over again until she crashed, legs closing around her wrist when her pleasure shook her form. She shoved three unoccupied fingers into her mouth and swallowed around them, fucking her throat and her cunt at the same time, trying to replicate the feeling of your tongue on her again.
She almost cried when the sensation wasn’t the same. Nothing felt like your mouth, your tongue, and it sent a painful jolt in her heart.
She came down and finally allowed her tears to fall, barely having the strength to ride out the last bits of her pleasure before she slumped onto the floor. Sobs escaped her in choked gasps. She’s a fucking idiot to be crying over you. Over the little twinkles in your eyes whenever you’re excited.
Ellie’s a heartless, ungrateful hypocrite, and she ruined her billionth chance at redemption.
ellie got bitched LMMMFAOOOOO
this is not a love triangle!!! or is it
jk its not lol
taggie waggies love yall down :3 @dyk3ang3l @iced-metal @sawaagyapong @kittnii @mariefilms @villainousbear @pick-me-up-im-scared @dragonasflowercrown @elsmissingfingers @bugaboodarling @freakumfilm @robinismywifee @ohitsjordynn @womenofarcane @inf3ct3dd @nil-eena @kaispaws @letsreadsomesins-shallwe @yuckyfucky @machetegirl109 @ximtiredx @mattm1964 @liabadoobee @tfuuka @aouiaa @lastofvenus
teaser, one, two, three, five
#fratadjacent!ellie#works 𖧧࣪#ellie williams smut#ellie williams tlou#ellie the last of us#ellie williams#ellie williams au#ellie williams angst#ellie williams x black!oc#black!oc#black!reader#the last of us#lesbian#abby anderson smut#Spotify
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Can you please do NICO HISCHIER SCHOLARS REPORT part 2?
I'm sorry this is so incredibly late, Anon, but let's go.
So we're going to be doing a deep dive into this Nico Hischier interview from Summer 2021. (Fair warning, these interviewers are...annoying ahahah to say the least, and sometimes do not shut up, but there are some gems from this.) I feel like I haven't seen a lot of content from this video, so I thought it might be a good one to share and also discuss...
youtube
First things first, Nico's giving this interview from Switzerland, and from the way he's positioned, I'm going to say he's giving this interview lying on his bed or something. The phone is facing up towards the ceiling and he's kind of facing the phone on top? Like I guess he could have laid the phone flat on a desk of some kind? Regardless, its an interesting choice of positioning to give an interview!
Fun Fact! This is Nico's first time meeting "Mike" and this Mike person ends up being someone that Nico stays connected with. Do you guys remember the sauna pictures and videos from this past season? That was courtesy of this very same Mike.
We all know Nico played a variety of sports growing up, but we learn here that Nico also played tennis, which I think is a new one to add to the list as well as swimming, skiing, and eventually switching to snowboarding.
Nico lived with a billet family. There's a great article that details that. Check it out here.
From youth, Nico was playing hockey with guys older than him.
"I had a really good season there" - big smile when talking about Halifax
He's still in touch with his Halifax teammates.
There's a bit in this interview, which unfortunately gets cut off due to connectivity issues, but basically Nico's asked about whether he was given a hard time by anyone bigger/older than him and I think his answer pretty much sums up the philosophy he has in the NHL now. "It never bothered me...these guys who were talking shit about me, I just didn't care, and just kept going."
"I had fun. Still now, I just have fun playing hockey and hanging out with the guys." - This quote I think is the epitome of Nico Hischier. Like, throw it back to Nico's pre-game speech before one of the playoff games "remember to have fun". That's Nico's entire hockey essence. And then throw it back to the win streak in the 22-23 season "this is the most fun playing hockey I've ever had". He just wants to hang out with his boys and have a good time.
Nico did a little bit of high school while he was in Canada.
One of the interviewers calls Nico "mister easy going, always playful". One of the times Nico met this man, he did a back flip off a bench in the gym. Like, thats Nico Hischier. He's not always mister serious, he's not always Nico Hischier Resting Face™️. He's just a silly little guy.
On Expectations: "I always try to keep that on the outside, always try to focus me on myself...I'll try my best every game, if its not enough its not enough...sacrifice myself for the team...at the end of the career, I obviously want people to say that he was a great player, but its almost like a little bit more important for me to have people say that I was a great teammate, I was a great guy to hang around with, lots of fun. This is my goal a little bit." Like how can you not love the guy?!
There's a whole bit about Nico taking a puck to the face (this was when PK Subban's shot hit Nico in the face back in the February 2021). He talks about the surgery and the actually medical procedures involved. I'm not going to get into the specifics here in case folks are squeamish, but just an FYI its in the interview. If you're not squeamish its very interesting, but trust me you want to skip that part if you are. He goes into detail.
One of the things Nico enjoys the most about playing hockey is the traveling to other cities.
What do you attribute your success to? Nico talks about his family that always supported him. Talent isn't all you need, you need to work hard as well. He talks about how he did things that maybe have been considered "weird" by his peers. When he was fourteen/fifteen he went to Pilates once a week with his sister. He was the only guy in the class. Loves to try new things. If you're not having fun then its not worth it.
Sidenote for anyone wondering about the Devils jersey hanging above Nico? Fairly certain thats a Patrik Elias jersey. If you wanna be in your feels for a bit.
"I do believe in our team. I'm just excited about what's coming up." - this was summer 2021. He has believed for a while that this team has it in them to compete truly.
Nico's inability to say the word "rivalry" will always always always make me smile.
"I want to put the team in front of me."
So during this entire interview, the two hosts are cursing throughout, and near the end Nico says "fuck" and immediately apologizes.
Nico believes he was picked as Captain for the person he is off the ice. "I'm an easy going guy. I don't really have a problem with anyone. I'm just guy you can have fun with. You can come over to my place. We can have a couple of beers, talk about anything, doesn't have to be hockey. If I see a friend is not playing his best, I'm not trying to fuck with him, I'll go talk to him. I'll try to help him."
One of the interviewers ends the interview by saying "you're a special dude"
And that's that. Tried something different with this edition of Nico Scholars, so I hope ya'll liked it.
#Nico Hischier#New Jersey Devils#Devils#NJ Devils#NJD#Ask#Anonymous#Question#Text#I am so happy to do more of these#or on specific topics#or what have you#I was gonna do maybe my bottom!Nico manifesto#or maybe do something about Nico and the Hischiers#or maybe do something about Nico as a captain#but I decided on this one cause I think this is an interview not many people have seen#and it actually gives us a lot#even tho it is now three years old#this was his first off season as a captain too and you can see the foundation of the captain he has become
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line five - the switch up m.list
"good morning line two! so, what would you like to talk it out about with me today?" your legs cross in your seat, a giddy smile on your face.
eyes glancing to the sound booth, sakusa's looking down at his gear. his hair falls forward into the same perfect swirls from the night before, only this time hairs slightly stick out from a night of rest. for the first time with him in the booth, you feel comfortable, relaxed. to the point of almost missing the caller's entire story.
"-so i told him, what the hell! because seriously, who the hell goes on a date with someone and then talks about his ex the whole time? sorry eliza left you for some bodybuilder, but you are on a date with someone! then he told me that i'm being inconsiderate of his feelings," a young woman, probably a few years younger than you, vents on air.
there's a tone of distress in her voice, one that carries with every word she says, "like, i'm a people pleaser and so suddenly i feel bad. even though in retrospect i probably shouldn't, right?"
"well, caller, my rule of thumb is to never talk about an ex while on a date. sure, if you're in a long term relationship and you have fears regarding how you were treated in a previous one, then bring that up. but on a first date? just talk about your dream career or something," you grab ahold of a pen, tapping it against the table.
"but you shouldn't have to feel bad about bringing up the fact that him talking about an ex is disrespectful to you and your time," taking in a deep breath, you can feel something inside of you want to turn your attention to sakusa again.
something about him intrigues you, past becoming friendly enough to do your job. talking to him the night before felt freeing. like you could talk about anything with him.
"i told atsumu that there was no way i would join his talk show. i love the dude but i was not going to talk about my 'late night rebounds' with him on the air," your elbow leans against the table, chin resting in your hand, eyes stuck staring into sakusa's.
sakusa nods, taking a bit of cake that was still left on his plate, "trust me, you are not the only victim of atsumu miya's talk show. he somehow convinced me to join his show for a day as his 'special guest'. most embarrassing moment of my life and i'm actually glad they forced me onto your show."
"i'm glad too," you simply say, smiling at him until you feel your heart racing quicker, "that they forced you onto my show too, since you are a phenomenal sound engineer."
"right," he agrees, turning his head away as you compliment him.
you’re brought back to the world when the girl laments about how you’re probably right. the only issue being that she’s already apologized to the man, nearly planning a second date with him. your jaw drops as you listen to her, head leaning forward and resting against the palms of your hands. “should i message him again? tell him that what he did was unacceptable?”
“no, your conversation has ended. bringing him back into your life will only prolong your discomfort, you know?” you ask, trying to appear more personable, knowing the way you’ve been speaking has been more clinical, “save your own peace and move on.”
she pauses for a moment, your foot tapping incessantly against the flooring. “yeah… you’re probably right. none of my friends really got my problem so talking to someone is comforting,” the caller laughs, a quiet and gentle laugh.
waiting until she hangs up, your finger hovers over the laptop, a song waiting to play. “well, now that we understand setting boundaries a little better, let’s play a song. i’m thinking today we’ll give ‘misses’ by dominic fike, a listen,” you start the song, gaze flickering back to sakusa for only a second.
staring back at the light indicating your mic is on, it turns off, giving you the opportunity to get up and stretch your legs. pushing back from the table, you make your way to sakusa, your hands resting in your pockets. walking up to the sound booth door, you lean against the doorframe. there he sits, staring down at his phone.
“uh, would you want to grab some coffee while the song plays? i have a couple extra songs ready in case it takes us a minute,” you crack the door open, talking to him with a smile across your lips.
sakusa looks up at you, his eyebrows furrowing. instead of accepting your invitation, he shakes his head, lips pursed, “one of us should be here in case something happens. plus i’m not really feeling like coffee right now.”
his attention immediately returns to his phone, his headphones propped up on his ears. you can feel your face scrunch up into a disgusted expression. the last night was nice, talking to him was nice. and now he’s acting like you didn’t bore your life plans and dreams to him. that the two of you didn’t have a genuine connection the night before.
stepping back from the door, you take in a deep breath, shaking your head. a part of you wants to believe that it’s merely him being tired, even hungover. however, you nearly catch his gaze as he looks back up at you, a sullen feeling boring into you.
a/n: happy birthday jade!! 🎉 taglist (open): @eggyrocks @causenessus @applepi25 @softpia @bakery-anon
@jadeoru @yessimo @lale-txt @writing-for-the-hell-of-it @sugacor3
@quikhs @todorokiskitten @mollyrolls @honeyfewr @pookiebearcave
@phoenix-eclipses @madiexuberant @kameyyy @cr4yolaas @asrichin
@bakugouswh0r3 @bakingcuriosity @zazathezaer @diorzs
#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu fic#hq#haikyuu fanfic#hq x reader#hq fanfic#☆ talk it out#sakusa x reader#sakusa kyoomi x reader#hq sakusa#sakusa kiyoomi#haikyuu sakusa#sakusa kiyoomi x reader#hq kiyoomi#kiyoomi sakusa x reader#kiyoomi x reader#art by zhang.tattoo
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Wildflowers For A Hangman Ch. 4
Summary:
Daisy, a career novelist, moves in with her college best friend Phoenix who has been permanently assigned to Top Gun with Dagger Squad. She finds herself instantly connected with a cocky pilot who's soft only for her and Jake can't help but want to know everything about her. When the past comes knocking at both of their doors, will they stand together or fall apart?
Or: The Dagger Squad can't cook and Jake falls in love with a woman who makes a mean lasagna while they work their personal trauma.
Jake "Hangman" Seresin x writer!femOC | 18+ (eventually) minors dni. Fluff, smut (eventual), idiots in love, past trauma.
A/N: Cassandra isn't speaking to Daisy and her work suffers but a call from her brother should make everything better, right?
AO3 Link
Previous Chapter
Cassandra wasn’t cooperating today and I knew better than to try and force it. Instead, I tried my hand at writing something overtly and didn’t make it a full page before scrapping the entire project. I’d had a few boyfriends before but none of them had given me the foot-popping, sparks-flying, kind of romance people wrote about.
In a desperate attempt to get something done, I wrote a few paragraphs more of an abandoned project about a kid detective trying to solve the theft of a neighbor’s lawn gnome. It wasn’t my most inspired piece of work, one of the many reasons Jason had told me to drop it, but it felt good to write something.
After completely throwing in the towel, I cleaned the apartment and made a double batch of M&M cookies, snacking on the chocolate candies as I went. Once the kitchen was cleaned again, I realized that I had made enough cookies to feed an army without an army to feed.
Daisy: Movie night at our place with the daggers?
Daisy: I may have stress baked
After an hour, Natasha responded affirmatively and I decided to run to the store for more snacks. While debating between Dorito flavors, my phone rang, Harvey’s picture flashing on the screen.
“Hey, Harv,” I greeted him, adding both bags of chips to my cart. “How are my girls?”
“Driving me crazy as usual,” Harvey laughed and I felt a bit lighter inside. There had been a point in our childhoods where I felt resentful that Harvey could be so happy but my therapist and a healthy dose of prescriptions had helped me past that. “How’s life in California?”
“Hot,” I joked. “The sun’s insufferable but it’s good to be living with Tasha again. She’s got some great friends that I bribed with cookies into accepting me as one of them.”
“Of course you did, your cookies could broker world peace.” I chuckled, waiting for Harvey to cut to the chase as I continued to throw all the snack foods I could find into the cart including frozen pizzas and chicken wings. “August is coming to an end.” There it was. I sighed but stayed silent, “How are you doing, DeeDee?”
“I’ve already scheduled the flowers to be sent to their graves and-”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”
“I’m fine, Harv. I’m keeping busy, trying not to think about it.” Something fell behind me and I nearly jumped out of my skin, white-knuckling the cart. It was like a switch flipped, all of my nerves lighting on fire, the acute paranoia I’d worked so hard to rid myself of sprinting to the forefront of my mind. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end as Harvey’s voice faded into a soft buzzing. Was someone watching me? No, no one was watching me. I tried to shake off the feeling, moving at a snail’s pace through the aisle. I looked down at my feet and I could have sworn I saw red despite the canvas being black.
“Daisy?” I heard my name through the fog, “Daisy Louise? DeeDee, you’re okay. You’re okay, everything’s okay, DeeDee.” Harvey. Harvey was calling for me. Where was he? I had to get to him. “I’m okay, DeeDee. I’m safe.” The fog pulled away and I was on the floor of the frozen aisle, my phone beside me.
“Harvey?”
“I’m here, I’m alright, DeeDee.” He soothed, “Are you okay?” I grabbed the phone, tucking my head between my knees.
“I’m okay, Harv. I just…”
“I know, it’s okay. It’s normal but you should call Natasha and have her pick you up.” That was completely off of the table. I could handle this by myself, all I needed to do was get to my feet and everything would be okay. “I love you, DeeDee.”
“I love you too, Harvey.” I sat on the floor with my head in my hands for a few seconds after hanging up, evening out my breathing until I didn’t think I was going to pass out anymore. I struggled my way through checkout, my mind drifting and then snapping back to reality with everyone off-kilter sound I heard or thought I heard. But when my hands were shaking too hard to put the keys in the ignition, I put my pride inside and called Tasha.
“Phoenix’s phone,” Coyote picked up and I nearly ended the call, “Daisy?”
“Is Tasha there?” Fuck, I sounded like I had been crying. My voice wavered, full of emotion.
“She’s in the air, what’s wrong, Daisy?” Coyote was all business and I appreciated him for it.
“It’s fine, nevermind,” I even failed at convincing myself that things were fine. Coyote sighed then replied in a soft, quiet voice.
“Daisy, Nat told me that sometimes you have anxiety attacks. Is that what happened?” Damn it. Natasha had helped me through more than her fair share of them in college, it only made sense that she would tell someone important to her like Coyote.
“You can’t tell anyone,” I sighed, “I just, I’m at the grocery store and I don’t know if I should be driving home like this.” I heard Jake’s voice in the background and tensed, “Don’t tell Hangman.” Coyote chuckled,
“Yes, ma’am. Alright, there’s two ways this can go. I can ask Mav for permission to come get you or I can call Penny.” Neither option sounded preferable. “Penny’s going to ask a lot of questions because she’s a mom and then she’s going to tell Mav anyways. I will ask no questions because I’ve already got an idea of what’s going on.”
“As long as Mav’s the only extra person in the loop,” I relented. “And Javy? Thanks.”
Javy showed up in his flight suit not long after and I was distracted for a second by just how handsome he was. Natasha’s taste in men had gotten a lot better since college.
“Do you want to stop for food on the way back? Sugar will make you feel better after an adrenaline dump like that.” I nodded, thanking him again for showing up. “You’re part of the squad now, Daisy, no thanks necessary.” The sentiment warmed my heart, a soft smile appearing despite the embarrassing situation.
“Can we get Wendy’s? It’s my favorite.” A spicy chicken nugget and a Dr. Pepper sounded amazing right now. Javy messed my hair like a big brother,
“Whatever you want.” After a few minutes of listening to the radio in silence, Javy glanced over at me. “So, what do you think of Hangman?”
“What do you think of Tasha?” I shot back, not expecting him to answer but he took me by surprise.
“She’s one hell of a woman and a fantastic pilot.” Javy grinned like a lovesick idiot and I found myself smiling too, “I’m lucky she gives me the time of day if I’m being honest.” He glanced over at me again, still smiling and I rolled my eyes. “Your turn.”
“Hangman’s a flirtatious ass,” Javy barked with laughter, pulling into the Wendy’s. “But Jake’s nice and he listens to me when I go on my rants about random shit. Like, I swear he probably listened to me talk about Sherlock Holmes for an hour the other night.”
“Hour and a half,” Javy snickered, “We timed it.” I couldn’t even be mad, laughing with him.
“Not even Tasha would let me go on like that! So yeah, I think Jake’s pretty great.” I brushed my hair into my eyes to hide my blush, “Anyways, I’ll take a spicy number ten with a Dr. Pepper, please.”
“Do you want a frosty too?” Yep. Natasha’s taste in men had definitely improved.
After cooing over me like a mother hen and calling Harvey to let him know I was okay, Natasha took Harvey to get his car. After taking a shower and finishing the large frosty Javy bought me even when I told him not to, I felt a lot better. Well enough to respond to the texts Jake had been sending me.
Jake: Everything okay?
Jake: Coyote told me to mind my business and that you were fine but I want to hear it from you
Jake: Phoenix also told to mind my business
Jake: Honey I need to hear it from you
Jake: If you don’t text me in ten minutes I’m coming over
I rolled my eyes but the butterflies in my stomach took flight, swirling in delight that Jake was concerned for me.
Daisy: Listen to Javy, pretty boy. I’m fine
Jake: Too late
“If this boy isn’t careful, I’m going to fall in love with him,” I whispered to the empty kitchen, ripping open a packet of M&Ms.
X
“Hey,” Daisy greeted me with a lazy smile, throwing back a palmful of M&Ms. Something was off about her but I couldn’t put my finger on it just yet. I was going to figure it out though, you could bet on that.
“Hey, Wildflower. How are you feeling?” She rolled her eyes like she didn’t have a care in the world but her shoulders tensed. Coyote had been tight lipped over why he had left work early but with how both he and Phoenix were acting, I knew it had to be Daisy and that had spun me up into a twister of anxiety that eased a little seeing her.
“I told you I was fine, see?” She gestured down her body. Daisy was in cartoon pajama shorts that showed off her pale thighs and a tank top, her endless curves on display from top to bottom. I swallowed hard, my mind filled with thoughts of running my hands over her hips, spreading her knees, and eating Daisy for dessert on Phoenix’s counter. “I’m perfectly fine.”
“You look fine as hell, sweetheart,” Daisy blushed hard, her chest and cheeks burning red. “But you know it’s not your body I’m asking about.” I crossed the room, needing to put my hands on her even if I shouldn’t.
“Okay, Hangman,” She grumbled, using my callsign like she always did when I said something flirty. My hands landed softly on her hip and her cheek, forcing her to stay close and look at me. Daisy relaxed, eyes fluttering shut. “I’ll be fine, Jake,” She whispered and I felt myself melt. This girl had no idea that I was putty in her hands.
“Of course you will be,” I promised, “Because I’m going to be right here by your side.” Daisy smiled, eyes still closed, nuzzling her cheek like a cat into my hand.
“You’re laying it on pretty thick again, Hangman.” God this girl. She didn’t believe a word that came out of my mouth if it veered even the slightest bit away from platonic. I had my work cut out for me but when she opened her dark eyes and smiled at me like I hung the stars and the moon, I knew I was up to the task. “Do you want a cookie?” What I wanted was to kiss her forehead but a cookie would work for now.
The rest of the daggers showed up a little bit later and while Daisy played the role of the perfect hostess, I pulled Coyote off to the side.
“Should I be worried?” Coyote glanced over my shoulder to where Daisy was and then shrugged.
“I don’t think so, at least, not at the moment anyways.” My heart clenched, needing to know more but he shook his head before I could ask. “Nothing about this situation is my business to share, man. When she’s ready to tell, she’ll tell.”
“We should watch a horror movie,” Bradley suggested, the loud agreement of the squad interrupting our conversation. Coyote patted me on the shoulder, heading for the kitchen. When she was ready to tell, she would tell me. I had to trust that that would be the case. Right?
“Hangman, get some food before Bob eats it all!” Rooster shouted for my attention. Bob was blushing with a plate piled high with food, praising Daisy’s homemade mac and cheese so that’s what I scooped up first. I didn’t miss how Phoenix was hovering behind Daisy, watching her like a hawk. I said a little prayer, hoping that Daisy would find the right moment to tell me what was going on sooner rather than later.
With a plate full of snacks, we all scattered around the living room. Daisy came right to me with a blanket, a blush on her cheeks, not looking me in the eyes as she took a seat beside me. She was the one person without a plate of food and turned me down when I offered her some of my chips,
“I’m not hungry,” She whispered, bringing the blanket up to her chin. “Javy got me Wendy’s.” He was Javy to her now? I glanced over at my best friend, who was not so subtly making eyes at Phoenix while she and Rooster argued over what horror movie we were going to watch. Rooster won when he threatened to tell a story that had Phoenix slapping a hand over his mouth.
It ended up being about some demon who was influencing people to murder others but the special effects weren’t all that believable. I much preferred a 90s action flick or, when alone, a Hallmark movie on occasion. With every passing minute, Daisy inched closer to my side, the blanket moving higher up her face. Seizing the opportunity, I dropped my plate on the table and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, bringing her close.
“Not a fan of horror?” I whisper, she shook her head, eyes locked on the screen as the possessed man picked up a hunting knife.
“Murder,” She whispered back, her hand tentatively resting on my thigh.
“Aren’t you a crime novelist, sweetheart?” I teased, trying to ignore how good it felt to have her hands on me.
“That’s different,” Daisy insisted, jumping at something on screen but I wasn’t watching the movie anymore, my focus was solely on her. Daisy looked terrified. I shifted sideways and pulled her face into my chest, forcing her attention off of the movie and whatever it was that was scaring her so much. Her hand moved from my thigh to my chest, fingers digging into my shirt.
“It’s okay, I’ve got you, baby,” I whispered into her hair, kissing her head. “It’s just a movie.” Daisy went limp in my hold and I pulled her sideways onto my lap, Bob looked and quickly looked away but it didn’t seem like anyone else noticed. Not that I would care if they did, if this was what Daisy needed, then it’s what I was going to do. I squeezed her thigh gently and began stroking my thumb back and forth, “I’ve got you.”
“I know,” Daisy whispered into my shoulder. After a moment she added, “If I’m too heavy-” She stopped when I squeezed her thigh,
“You can sit on my lap whenever you want, Wildflower.”
“My gentleman,” She sighed and I felt a glimmer of hope. She didn’t call me Hangman.
Next Chapter
#jake hangman fic#jake seresin x oc#jake seresin#hangman x oc#jake hangman seresin#wildflowers for a hangman fic#top gun maverick#top gun fanfiction#natasha phoenix trace#fanfic#javy coyote machado#pete maverick mitchell#coyote x phoenix
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SDV Bachelor/ette Headcanons!!
I was peer pressured by @jessibbb into posting these <3 (also I'm on mobile so if it looks bad no it doesn't.)
ALso divider credits to the lovely @thecutestgrotto and @saradika
Done in alphabetical order, because we're not playing favorites here
Bachelors:
Alex
I feel like he was into band when he was younger and in school, but he got bullied for it, so he switched to gridball instead. He loves gridball, but sometimes he wonders what would have happened if he stuck with the trumpet.
Jess thinks he's short, but I don't think he'd have as much arrogance/confidence that he does in game if he were short. I think he does the hands on top of the doorframe thing.
To me, he was one of those semi-annoying popular guys in high school who would interrupt the class of the younger grade and ask the teacher if she missed him.
Takes skincare seriously (ty Haley)
Helps Evelyn in the kitchen and around the house
Shockingly handy? He's good at fixing things (doesn't want to be a burden on his grandparents, and he knows George feels bad that he can't do maintenance around the house.)
He and Haley have matching friendship bracelets
Elliot
(To the Elliot stans, I'm so sorry, but I cannot stand his character. Initially I was gonna marry him but then he started talking and I just Couldn't. So here's how I thought he was going to be. (I try to keep it somewhat similar to how he is in game but I just,,,,,,,))
Very romantic
Comes on too strong at first, but once he realizes he apologizes and learns how to be one of your really close friends (unless you ever want to be more, obvs)
Loves the drama of a historical romance
Adores Jane Austen
I feel like the game suggests that he isn't very tidy, but in my mind he keeps himself and his space neat and clean. (He might have a depression pit when he's feeling morose or lacking creativity, but he gets it together after a shower or a walk)
He's not egotistical (I also feel the game implies some of this), but he's not entirely humble, either. Very self-assured, but that could possibly be to mask that he really worries about whether or not his writing career will take off.
Harvey
(Jess drew little hearts around my notes for this one lmao)
Actually very sickly as a child, which I think had a huge factor in driving him into medicine.
Likes when the farmer does his nails. It's nice to have someone want to dote on him. (He ends up taking the polish off when he has to work for sanitary purposes, but that just means you can do them again later <3)
Secretly had a piercing at one point, but he was relatively anxious about having it, even though it made him feel good about himself. Possibly anxious because it didn't fit his "image"; he doesn't have it anymore. (He was So crazy in college literally what was he thinking??????) (it was a bellybutton piercing btw)
His guilty pleasure food is ice cream don't tell
Podcast lover. (Mainly medical and aerospace)
Sam
Mans has a mullet. I will not be accepting arguments at this time
He doesn't have a favorite color, but he really loves bright ones
Definitely has ear and possibly facial piercings
Idk where I'm getting this from, it's kind of based solely on vibes, but I feel like he might be colorblind?
Loves having his makeup done
Wears minimal jewelry, but is always wearing at least one ring, whether that's on a chain or on his finger depends on the day.
Sebastian
He gets called emo but I get more punk vibes from him
When you meet him he's just starting on his second sleeve tattoo
He uses candy cigarettes when he's trying to quit smoking, partially because he thinks it's funny, and partially just because he likes the sugar
I think he feels very stuck in the persona the town has given him, so he kind of just gives up after living there for so long on trying to convince people otherwise
Ear and eyebrow piercings, at least. Very willing to accept constructive criticism here.
Probably has the chain belt thing
Rings rings rings
Shane
I feel like he's either very tall, or very short, and I cannot decide which one
Cleans up very nice after he gets sober
Raises Jas more than Marnie does (Concerning bc alcoholism, but I can't stand Marnie so. The lesser of two evils I guess?)
Regularly takes walks to ward off dark thoughts
Keg king back in his college days
Bachelorettes
These are more look-based, since Jess and I were trying to do a redesign situation. The men I was struck with sudden inspiration and clarity for how to flesh out their personalities more, but I'll have to update the character work for the women when the creativity strikes.
Abigail
I kind of get undercut vibes from her
I think she has gages, for sure
Facial piercings but idk what most of them are called. Specifically a lip piercing
She has a small stick and poke that she, Sam, and Seb designed together
The big overlined lips that were popular in 2020 (might still be popular now but I'm no longer chronically online God bless)
Tattoo choker that was popular in the early 2000s
Big shaggy wolfcut
Elevated HotTopic vibes
Emily
Mixed metal jewelry queen
Wears multiple necklaces
Hippie-esque style (they really did her dirty with her game design she looks like s clown but she's so sweet that it's Criminal)
Crystal girly (a given)
Definitely has some sort of altar set up. Idk much about witchcraft so very loosely assigning her as a crystal witch
Really likes incense
Alice Cullen haircut, y'all know the one
Haley
She has such pretty lashes, I just know it
Big yabos
Her nails are always immaculate. Despite thinking her sister is weird, I think Emily is the one who learned how to give her acrylics
Alex is definitely the person she's closest to
I don't really have that many ides for her I'm sorry :(
Leah
Very wispy, ethereal hair (1908s aogg vibes)
Former hairdresser. While she still lived in the city, she went into cosmetology since it had the opportunity to be a creative career, and her partner at the time didn't really support her in her art (I think the partner bit is canon). Ultimately, she came to resent her job, and she left the city for Stardew Valley. I think she still uses the skills and knowledge she acquired when doing her own hair, and occasionally the hair of some of the residents in the valley.
Howl's Moving Castle earrings
Honestly Howl's Moving Castle vibes overall for her style I think
Dresses masc. but in a way that still comes off as feminine, if that makes sense. Think billowy white shirt from the male lead of a period drama
Most likely covered in some sort of art medium, (acrylics, wood shavings, oil paints, etc.), in a charming way, not an unclean way.
Maru
Minimal makeup, if any at all
She has cute little stud earrings she got as a kid (they're stars)
Has an astronomy charm bracelet, but it's only worn on special occasions. I think she'd be wearing it when she shows you the telescope and tries to confess her feelings for the first time.
She's a silver girly
Little baby hairs. Give my girl Maru better hair
Lowkey loves Hello Kitty (idk where this one came from but I feel it)
Penny
Bumper bangs. In general I get very 50s vibes for style
Doesn't think she'll ever leave Stardew Valley, so she doesn't really have any huge aspirations for herself anymore.
She mostly invests herself in teaching Vincent and Jas to the best of her ability.
Would have loved to be a teacher if she were to leave, but she worries about her mother, so she's never left
I know there are some ideas on here that seem insubstantial compared to others, but this is the best I can do currently! I'd love feedback, since I'm relatively new to the fandom and the game, but I hope you enjoyed!!
#sdv#stardew valley#sdv headcanons#stardew valley headcanons#sdv Abigail#sdv Alex#sdv Elliot#sdv Emily#sdv Haley#sdv Harvey#sdv Leah#sdv Maru#sdv Penny#sdv Sam#sdv Sebastian#sdv Shane#my post#headcanons#my writing#long post#i think? idk I'm so tired lmao
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Fic: Grudgingly Yours (Part 6)
Fic: Grudgingly Yours (Part 6)
Summary: You are a general surgeon, working in a hospital that’s slowly sucking the life out of you when one day you’re given the offer of a lifetime.
A.K.A - An arranged marriage fic :)
Pairing: Billy Russo x You
Rating: R
Masterlist (contains links to my other stories and this one)
PART 6
You were sitting at your desk in the home office you made for yourself, focused on projections for the urgent care when a knock on the door interrupted your focus. Billy walked in with his usual arrogant gait, his gaze locked on you.
“You look busy,” he drawled, coming over to where you were sitting. Standing beside you, he leaned back on the desk, casually flipping through the excel printouts you’d been reviewing.
“I am busy.” You grabbed the sheets from his hand and placed them back on the desk. “What do you want?”
“What’s all this stuff?”
“Work.”
“Didn’t you cash me in as a golden ticket? Thought that meant you never had to work again.”
“I used you to quit the hospital, not my entire career.”
“Could’ve just switched jobs instead of dragging me into your mess.”
“Then I’d be working for another soul-sucking board of assholes.” You sighed with resignation. There was so much to be done and it felt like time was running out. Part of the reason you’d agreed to Alistair’s plans wasn’t just for financial gain, but also to have access to his wealthy contacts who could be of use when it came to permits and donations. Unfortunately Alistair was still mad and you were drowning in bureaucratic red tape. “At this rate, that’ll happen anyway.”
“What are you trying to get done?”
“Like you give a shit.”
“I don’t. I’m just killing time.” He cocked his eyebrow. “So tell me.”
Sitting back in your chair, you cast a wary glance at the task list on your laptop screen. “Build a clinic in my old neighbourhood.” Dejected, you bit the inside of your cheek. “But that’s gonna be a lot tougher than I thought.”
“Why? Not enough funding?”
“Permit issues. I was hoping Alistair would help with that-
“But he’s pissed.” Billy tipped his head to the side. “And he’s a vengeful old prick.”
“Now you tell me.”
“I know people who can help.”
Surprised, you returned your attention back to him. “Really?”
“Yeah. Same family friends, remember?”
“How could I forget,” you muttered, angling forward. “But why would you help me? What’s in it for you?”
A small smile played across his lips. “Maybe I’m doing it out of the goodness of my heart.”
“You don’t have one. So what do you want?”
The smile transitioned into a fully amused smirk. “There’ s a wedding I have to attend. A good friend of mine. As much as I want to keep this shit between us a secret, he found out about you.”
“Aw, he wants to meet your wife.”
“Something like that.”
Laughing, you stood up. “Will we need to hold hands? Kiss? Pretend we’re newlyweds madly in love?” Looping your arms around his neck, you taunted in a sing-song voice. “Is this a ploy to get me to fall in love with you?”
“You’ve watched too many romcoms.” Despite his grumbling tone, his eyes twinkled with delight. “None of that shit is gonna happen, no matter how badly you want it.” He unlocked your arms from around him but didn’t let go of your hands. “You help me out, I’ll help you out. We have a deal?”
“How do I know you’ll hold up your end?”
There was that perfectly arched eyebrow again, questioning you. “You don’t trust me?”
“Not even a little bit.”
He squeezed your hands, the heat from his touch pulsing through you. “I should be the one doubting you. You tried to seduce me in my sleep.”
“Still telling yourself that lie? You know it’s bullshit.”You tried to back away but his grasp on you remained firm, pulling you closer. You wanted to kick yourself. Yeah you liked toying with him, it was fun seeing him get all worked up, but recently he stopped responding in anger and started pushing your buttons instead, and you didn’t like it. Not when the deep, dark pools of his eyes fixated on you, as if he was trying to absorb all your thoughts and feelings and secrets, and his proximity played havoc with your thoughts.
“Hate to ruin your fantasies, sweetheart, but we’ll be getting separate rooms at the hotel. I don’t want you attacking me again.”
You gave him a forced smile. “Fuck off, Billy.”
He laughed, finally releasing his hold on you. “And when we come back, I’ll introduce you to my contacts.”
“You better.” Needing distance from him, you exited the office and headed to the kitchen to grab a drink. Unfortunately, he followed suit. You did your best to ignore him but it was hard to do that when his gaze followed your every move. “Your friends know the real reason we got married?”
“You mean did I tell them you’re a golddigger?” he remarked dryly, grabbing some pretzels from a jar, and throwing them back in his mouth one by one. “Obviously not. Don’t want to look like a chump.”
“Great,” you groused. “That means I have to be nice to you.”
“Yes, sweetheart. It does.”
“Your friends are gonna be assholes too, aren’t they?”
“Curtis and I served together.”
Shit. Now you felt like an asshole since you’d assumed they were his high society friends.
“He’s saved my ass a few times over the years. I’ve saved his. Now he’s getting married and wants me to be his groomsmen.”
“When’s the wedding?”
“This weekend. In California.”
“Why so soon?”
“I didn’t ask.”
You scowled at him. “I thought you guys were friends?”
“Doesn’t mean we share every fucking detail about our lives. He asked me to be there, so I’m going. Not gonna fucking interrogate the man about it.”
Men, you huffed to yourself. Taking a sip of your drink, you watched as he languidly munched on the pretzels. By now you should have gotten used to his lingering stare but it still caught you by surprise when you found yourself scrutinized by him. These days he was checking you out more and more, and each time it left you unsettled. You contemplated calling him out on it, but with Billy being Billy, he’d probably claim you were being delusional.
Billy slid the pretzel jar back on the island before moving to the sink to wash his hands. Drying them, he sauntered over to where you stood, smoothly reaching over to grab the drink from your hand.
“Hey!”
A mischievous smile curved his lips as he took a sip of your drink. “Whole event’s gonna take place over a few days. Bachelor party on Thursday-”
“-Guessing I’m not invited to that?”
“Rehearsal dinner on Friday. Wedding on Saturday.”
“I have an important meeting this Friday.”
“Fly out after. We can meet up there.”
“Hope your friends are not boring, Billy.”
“You can always get them drunk and get ammunition on me.”
You rubbed your hands together with glee. “Oooh, there’s an idea.”
“And I’ll do the same with your friends next time I see them.”
“Absolutely not. Never gonna happen.”
He booped your nose, moving closer. “It’s only fair, don’t you think? You meet mine, I meet yours.”
It dawned on you how intimate the whole encounter was. The two of you teasing each other, being flirty, like an actual couple. And you liked it. You liked this side of him. The realization was unnerving, leaving you feeling suddenly awkward. “I have to get back to work,” you said, feigning a relaxed pose as you quickly put some distance between the two you.
“You alright?” he asked from behind.
You didn’t answer.
***
You swiped the card and entered the hotel room. Immediately the stunning view of the lush green rolling hills caught your attention. The room wasn’t big; however it was exquisitely designed with bespoke furniture and a Bohemian aesthetic. After unpacking your luggage, you hopped into the shower and got ready for the rehearsal dinner. Your outfit for the night was a chocolate brown cocktail dress that fit you well, with simple jewelry, latte makeup and red lipstick. Gold sandals with midsized heels provided the finishing touches for the look that left you feeling sexy and beautiful. No doubt Billy wouldn’t appreciate the effort but maybe there’d be other hotties in attendance. Hooking up was out of the question but that didn’t mean you couldn’t enjoy the view.
You followed the signs to the restaurant venue, drawing closer to sounds of laughter. Nervousness flitted through you as you walked in, taking in the group of strangers mulling around. You didn’t know these people, and they were bound to judge you as soon as they found out you were married to Billy – it was painfully obvious you weren’t the type of woman he would ever choose.
Taking a deep breath, you gave yourself a mental shake and a pep talk.
So what if others thought Billy was too good for you? It didn’t matter. It’s not like you had feelings for him or anything, so their opinion didn’t matter. You were here just to put on a show so he’d do you a favour. That’s all. Your eyes scanned the room, searching for Billy, when you were approached by a tall, black hottie.
“Hey.”
You flashed him a smile. “Hi.”
“You looking for someone?”
“I’m here for Curtis and Jessica’s rehearsal dinner?”
“You’re in the right place. I’m Omar, Curtis’s cousin. You must be one of Jessica’s friends?” He asked, reaching out to grasp your hand.
Oh, the man had game, with his gorgeous smile and the subtle way his eyes trailed down your body. “I’m married to one of the groomsmen.”
“Too bad. Who’s the lucky guy?”
“Me.” Billy seemed to come out of nowhere, sauntering past Omar to stand beside you.
He may have worn jeans for his own wedding but Billy had put in effort tonight, wearing a perfectly tailored maroon collared dress shirt and trousers. His hair was slicked back, his facial hair perfectly groomed. Everything about him screamed gorgeous.
“Omar, why you still holding my wife’s hand?” Billy demanded.
Immediately Omer eased his grip on you, pressing his palms together in an exaggerated show of apology. “Sorry brother, didn’t know she was yours. Just saw a beautiful woman, and I had to introduce myself.”
“I’m not his,” you emphasized. “I’m just married to him.”
Billy turned toward you. “So you do remember you’re married?”
“Kinda,” you smirked, centering your attention back on Omer. “Billy won’t introduce us, so I guess I’ll have to. I’m Y/N.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Y/N.” Omer winked, casting Billy a mischievous look.
Immediately you stiffened, taking in his expression. Maybe to everyone else the smile on Billy’s face was teasing but you sensed his agitation right away. Something was wrong. You could practically see him crawling out of his skin. And he was no longer looking at you, instead his focus was directed at another woman across the restaurant. You felt an unexpected wave of jealousy hit you. He appeared to be completely enthralled by the attractive brunette, he couldn’t stop staring. And the spark of envy you felt turned into something much more fierce. “Who is she? An ex-girlfriend?”
Omer raised his eyebrow. “Dinah’s here already? Thought she was coming tomorrow.” His gaze followed both yours and Billy’s. “Oh, Maria.”
“Yeah, Maria.” Billy’s voice was brittle, a stony expression on his face.
You didn’t know what the hell was going on but you absolutely hated the seething rage that flooded over you. It was crazy and made no sense. You ran into many of the women he slept with over the past few months, but they didn’t arouse such strong emotions in you. Probably because he never looked at them the way he was looking at this one. “Gonna introduce me or what?”
Finally Billy shifted his gaze from her to you. Eyebrow furrowed, he stared at you blankly. “Fine. Let’s go.”
It’s like you no longer existed, you were simply baggage he had to carry around. He walked ahead of you, only stopping when he finally reached the brunette. Next to her was another man who bore a striking resemblance to Omar. Based on that similarity, you deduced it was Curtis.
Curtis and Maria both looked up at Billy, flashing him a smile. You observed the trio quietly, noting the absence of intensity on Maria’s face. Whatever Billy felt for that woman, she didn’t reciprocate.
“Billy,” Maria greeted him with a smile.
“How are you, Maria? You look great.”
You noted how deliberately he masked his reaction with the woman. Carefree, jovial, he was all smiles while he hugged her – yet you saw through the ruse. It was all an act; he was more tense than before.
“And this must be the woman who finally nailed down Billy Russo.” Curtis wrapped his arms around you in a big bear hug, surprising you. Unlike his cousin Omer, there was nothing flirtatious in his smile as he greeted you warmly. “Never thought the day would come.”
You returned his smile. “Me neither.”
“Should we be offended we weren’t invited?” Curtis asked.
“Curtis, stop teasing her.” Maria sent her a friendly glance, seemingly oblivious to the way Billy was still watching her. “Congratulations, Y/N. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
You offered a small smile, casting Billy a quick glance. Did no one else notice how on edge he was? His anxiety was through the roof yet Curtis and Maria appeared oblivious to it. It was ridiculous that the false smile on Billy’s face had actually fooled them.
“How did you and Billy meet?” Curtis asked, poking Billy in the chest. “He won’t give us any details.”
“Same old story. His grandfather came to the hospital, I operated on him, and while Billy helped him recuperate the two of us fell in love.” It was the story they had both agreed on and seemed to do the trick.
Maria shot Billy a quizzical glance. “I thought you didn’t get along with him.”
“I don’t.”
“But now they’re best buddies,” you piped up.
“Really?” Curtis asked, taken aback.
“She’s just pulling your leg,” Billy replied dryly. “She does that a lot.”
Curtis laughed. “I can see why he likes you.”
For the first time since you walked in the veil of tension lifted from Billy’s face. An amused smile marked his lips. “May need you to remind me, brother. Sometimes she gets a little too mouthy.”
“Yeah, but you like that,” you retorted.
Curtis chuckled while Maria simply smiled. There was a sadness to her you hadn’t noticed before, and you wondered what she was thinking of. A quick peek at Billy’s uneasy face revealed he noticed it too.
“Maria, can we talk for a minute?” Billy asked. He glanced at you. “In private?”
Th jealousy from earlier returned with a swift vengeance but you kept your face devoid of any emotion as you turned your attention back to Curtis. “Why don’t we get a drink while these two talk?”
“Sounds like a great idea.”
You walked away with Curtis, trying not to let Billy’s close exchange with Maria bother you.
***
Later that night you were dressed in silk camisole and shorts, braiding your hair, when there was a knock on the hotel room door. You glanced at the clock. It was past midnight. You walked to the door and opened it a crack to see who was on the other side. Billy stood there, hair ruffled, eyes red, the first couple of buttons on his maroon shirt undone.
“Let me in?” he asked.
There was hesitancy in his voice, like he recognized this was an imposition. You contemplated telling him to get lost but couldn’t ignore the wild desperation in his eyes. You swung the door wider, allowing him to swagger past you, watching silently as he strode over to the mini-fridge and pulled out a few small bottles of liquor. “You’re paying for that, Billy.”
“Paying for the whole trip, sweetheart.”
You shrugged your shoulders, and sauntered over to the bed. Sitting down with your back against the headboard, you stretched out your legs and studied him as he finished a bottle. “What’s wrong? You’ve been acting weird the entire night.”
He turned around to meet your gaze, watching you for the longest time. Finally he approached you, taking a seat on the mattress, next to your feet. “No one else noticed.”
“They don’t know your bitchy moods like I do.”
“Guess I can’t hide shit from you.”
You shrugged your shoulders. “You’ve hidden plenty of things, Billy.”
He glanced down at your feet, making you feel self-conscious all of a sudden. “Your chubby toes are weird.”
“So are your demonic eyes,” you snapped.
This time a genuine smile curved his lips. “Weird but cute.”
His fingers pulled at your toes gently, and you started giggling at how ticklish his touch was. “Stop, Billy!” You smacked his hand lightly.
The smile on his face faded away, his eyes glued to your feet. He seemed to be caught in deep thought again, his mind somewhere else.
“The way you were looking at her, I thought Maria was an ex-girlfriend,” you said quietly.
Billy looked up to meet your eyes. “No, definitely not an ex.” Before he spoke again, he scooted forward, drawing closer to you. “She’s… was my best friend’s wife.”
“Curtis told me. Said you, him and Frank did multiple tours together.”
“He tell you Frank’s dead?”
You nodded your head. “What happened?”
“Frank and I got caught in enemy territory.”
Heavy silence followed, the air thick with tension.
“Held hostage for days.”
You didn’t know what to say, feeling queasy at the unimaginable horror he must have suffered. The cars and burn marks on his body flashed through your mind; you flinched instinctively.
“What?” he asked, meeting your eyes.
“Did they kill him?”
“Something like that.”
The darkness in his eyes made your heart ache. Whatever he lived through had been pure hell, but it was apparent from his lack of explanation he didn’t want to talk about it with you. Unsure of what to do, you started braiding the wavy strands that had come undone back into a braid again when Billy’s hand clamped over yours.
“Don’t,” he commanded, his fingers curling around your hair. “I like it down.”
He stared at your hair as if he was spellbound, his eyes vacillating between your face and strands, leaving you completely unsettled. The air rushed out of your lungs when he moved closer, his breath humming against your skin as he began to pull apart the braid and run his fingers through your hair.
“Don’t flirt with Omar tomorrow.”
The abrupt change in topic caught you by surprise. “I was being nice, not flirting.”
“That’s not what it looked like,” Billy murmured.
Despite the softness in his voice, you could hear the warning behind his words and it pissed you off. “So what? Who cares?” you fired back.
His eyes locked with yours, the intensity in them so potent you felt trapped. “I care.”
“Why?” You regarded him closely. “Jealous?”
“Don’t flatter yourself, babe. I just don’t want my friends to think my wife is a cheater.”
His refusal to admit the truth irritated you, especially considering how he reacted around Omer. “That’s all it is?”
“Yeah.” Billy’s hand wrapped around the back of your neck, his eyes affixed on your lips. He tugged you towards him, his pull gentle. The invisible connection between you and him was palpable, making your heart race in your chest, electricity jolting through you. Everything was moving at lightning speed yet time had slowed down. It didn’t make any sense. Nothing did.
“So if I told you he walked me to my room tonight and gave me his number, it wouldn’t bother you?” you prodded.
The glint in his eyes hardened, his jaw clenched. “Of course it would. I don’t want him to start asking why we’re not staying in the same room.”
“So nothing to do with you being jealous?”
“Nothing at all,” he drawled.
The magnetic hold he had over you dissipated instantly. You grew up under the stigma of rejection, your own father choosing to abandon you than claim you. And here was Billy, doing the same. There was no way in hell you were going to settle for someone treating you like that. Using every bit of resolve you possessed, you pulled away. “I want you to leave.”
“And risk having Omar find out the truth about us? I don’t think so.”
“Fine. Stay here but keep your distance.”
“You’re the one who crawled into my bed.”
“And you’re the one who almost kissed me just now.”
A cocky smile covered his face. “Wishful thinking on your part, sweetheart?” Like the arrogant jackass that he was, he moved away from the bed and strolled over to the bar. Pouring himself another drink, he leaned back against the furniture to face you. “Any other fantasies you have in mind?”
“This is so fucking pathetic. You don’t even have the guts to own up to what you want. Instead you hide behind mixed signals so you don’t have to risk anything. You’re a fucking coward, Billy.”
His eyes turned cold as ice.
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All That Matters, ii.
pairing: cocky!tattoo artist!frank castle x afab!reader
summary: working with a world renowned tattoo artist who knows his own beauty has more cons than pros. the main one being that he's infuriating and it turns you on.
warnings: general banter between frank and reader, jealous reader??, jealous frank?, mutual pining but they're both idiots, cocky frank duh!, tattooed frank with long hair!!, no use of y/n or descriptions of reader, not proofread
word count: 883 words
authors note: it wouldn't be a series if there wasn't some sort of trouble, theo my beloved don't get hurt!! if you want to be added to the tag list just drop a comment! as always, enjoy!
find the masterlist here!
read the first part here!
You waited at the reception desk until the girl from Frank’s booth left before marching yourself right in and leaning against the wall, waiting for him to acknowledge you. He was busy putting away all the machinery he used, throwing away all the single use products and checking his notifications to notice you standing there. It made you feel a bit invisible, you’d unpack this feeling later in the shower.
“I wasn’t staring.” You stated, watching his hair fall around his face when he looked up at you from his chair.
“So what were you doing then? Did you think he was cute? Good thing you already have his number.” He responded, going back to whatever he was doing on his phone before he realized you were there. It almost sounded like he was jealous, but you pushed that thought aside. He had no interest in you.
“Jesus, Frank. Go fuck someone and get rid of the attitude.” You scrunched your nose at his attitude and turned around, instantly regretting whatever voice convinced you to come back here and speak to him.
“Are you offering?” You heard him call after you, your eyes were practically in the back of your head at his words.
Frank allowed himself to eye your ass the entire time you walked away from him, watching how it moved when you walked and imagining it grinding up against him in a club. If he was drunk would he know it was you? Would you know it was him? He put the image in the back of his mind for later when he showered and needed some help reaching that high only you could give, and you didn’t know you did.
You spent the entire rest of your shift ignoring him, only speaking to the other artists and telling them to pass on a message for you if you ever needed to talk to him. He spent that entire time trying to figure out what crime he committed, besides being so devilishly handsome, to earn the cold shoulder from you. One of the other artists had finished all his scheduled appointments for the day and decided to sit at the desk with you, generally you got along with everyone you worked with. Except for Frank, the literal guy who owns the place.
In a heated argument towards the beginning of your career as the receptionist, he’d told you he only kept you because he couldn’t find anyone better to do your job. You were proud that you were the best at it, also upset that he disliked you that much he was actively searching to replace you. The resentment for the statement sat at the bottom of your stomach, threatening to spill out every single time he irritated you. Frank paid you well, it wasn’t even a question in your mind if it was worth working there. The jo was easy, the pay was amazing, but your fucking boss.
“Do you wanna go out for some drinks later? Some of the other people wanna go out and I wanted to extend the offer to you.” Theo, the other artist sat next to you, offered.
“I mean, as long as I’m not a bother.” You smiled, handing him your phone to input his number and then switching to put your number in his phone.
“Never, I’ll shoot you a text with the place and all that shit later.” He shot a smile your way, it almost rivaled Frank’s smile. You rarely saw it though.
Theo had only been there a few months when you got hired, he’d been friends with Frank during their internships and only felt right working next to him. He’d welcomed you with open arms and never made you feel any lesser for your position, in fact he always made his appreciation for you obvious. On most days he picked up some coffee for you when he picked up his breakfast, always making sure to give you a few napkins just in case you spilled. It was a surprise to everyone, but yourself, that you didn’t have his number yet. You knew that the second you let him into your life like that, you wouldn’t keep your hands to yourself.
He almost looked like a blonde version of Frank, way less arrogant about his looks. If they told you they were secretly twins who were separated at birth you would’ve believed in an instant, your mind was blown when you found out they didn’t know each other until they were twenty. His voice wasn’t as deep or rough, just as loud though. You never could see an ink of skin that wasn’t covered in tattoos, on either of them, except Theo’s face. He had this weird thing about never tattooing his face, he’d do other people’s but never his own.
Frank rounded the corner to your desk and frowned the second he saw you two together, laughing. He’d been the one to bring up going out for drinks, he however had no intention of inviting you, he’d look like an even bigger asshole if he told you not to come after his best friend invited you. Theo being so close to you was irritating, Frank. He knew he was attracted to you but jesus, this was a problem.
tag list: @elsvrse
#maddies fics#frank castle#jon bernthal#frank castle x reader#frank castle x you#the punisher#frank castle smut#frank castle fluff#frank castle drabble#frank castle oneshot#frank castle headcanons#jon bernthal x reader#jon bernthal imagine#jon bernthal fluff#jon bernthal smut#jon bernthal fanfiction#the punisher smut#the punisher fanfiction#frank castle fanfiction#the punisher fic#punisher fluff#punisher smut#fic: all that matters
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as soon as vale said that his most important rivals were biaggi, lorenzo, and stoner, I thought about your sete posts! it’s so interesting how he keeps downplaying that rivalry, even 20 years later
posted this like. the day before that podcast was released
yeah anon I'm glad I've been able to spread the gospel on this because it's very... going 'valentino is deliberately editing one specific rivalry out of his career in order to get people to forget about it or simply dismiss it entirely' does run the risk of making you sound insane. but now that I have presented my extensive evidence on this subject on a microblogging platform, I can finally FINALLY get the satisfaction of other people going 'hm yeah this is kind of weird'. it is weird!! podium of rivals my ass, valentino's best on-track rivalry is just indisputably with sete. going by quality and quantity of extended on-track duels, the oeuvre he put together with sete isn't even in the same LEAGUE as what he's got going on with casey, jorge, or biaggi. and none of this 'well he always beat sete' business - I saw how close that man was to ending it all after sachsenring 2003. there is not a SINGLE other direct defeat by a rival after which he is so visibly close to walking off the nearest cliff edge. also, at least sete actually managed to win a race-long fight against valentino, which is NOT something that could be said about either biaggi or jorge (casey as ever remains the specialest girl). 2004 is still the closest title fight he won!! the welkom 2004 thing is genuinely infuriating, because it's basically the only duel of that quality or length he ever has with biaggi (phillip island '01 is more of a multi-rider dogfight) and it comes!! at a time!! when sete is his main rival!! sete was already the main rival in 2003!! it is complete dumb luck that biaggi happened to be valentino's opponent in his very first yamaha race, allowing valentino to pull off this sleight of hand where his 2004 season conveniently starts and ends at the very first race. literally says in that bloody podcast that it's not a coincidence his three best races happened fighting his three greatest rivals... well going by everything else in 2003-05, it actually kinda is you fucking dingus. he has five extended duels in 2004 that are all excellent - and four are with sete! off the top of my head, the number of memorable duels he has 2003-05 clocks in at like fourteen with sete (jesus) and 1 (one) with biaggi. and mind you, however fond people are of the welkom race, you just KNOW more folks actually remember that last corner jerez situation than anything specific that happened at welkom. the unbelievable cynicism, the NERVE of presenting this selectively edited version of the switch to yamaha while completely erasing the rival he actually destroyed along the way!! staggering
anyway look I know I'm preaching to the choir here but yeah. I mean I did already say all this in the sete post itself
and ofc by now I've talked in a bunch of places about how valentino is clearly more comfortable with the impersonal nastiness of the biaggi, casey and jorge rivalries than he is with the ultra personal heartache of sete and marc. it really has carried over to how he's discussed these rivalries post-retirement... when it comes to the former category, it's really all quite normal - he's not doing much to reawaken the feud, isn't being particularly provocative, just gives a reasonably straightforward and restrained appraisal of his side of the rivalry on quite an irregular basis. a lot more agreeable than some of said rivals are when talking about him, let's face it. again, he does like his rivalries, he thinks sports SHOULD sometimes have this kinda nasty fun dynamic between two guys who really want to beat each other... but now the on-track competition is done with, it's all good, no reason to hold any grudges. with the latter category - by contrast - it's a tale of extremes. you've got the deflection of most questions related to the marc conflict from around mid-2016 onwards, with the exception of genuine head loss suffered at argentina 2018 or when he is an environment where he can air his grievances a little more extensively on his own terms (like, say, on a podcast) - there's a desire to erase marc from the narrative of his career and a wariness of the drama associated with this rivalry that wars with the urge to discuss it, since it is still a wee bit of an open wound. with sete, his approach is if anything even more radical: utter erasure. from his comments in the route46/93 documentary, it is obvious he has not forgiven sete in the slightest and does still derive some measure of personal satisfaction from how that whole thing went down ("if I had to give sete some advice... it's better if he hadn't done it" unfortunately just indisputably a banger line). discussed this elsewhere, but what's kinda wild about this whole approach is that the sete rivalry is such a triumph for him - not because sete is a weak opponent, but because of like... what an excellent job he did with the whole thing. the dramatic arc of that rivalry and how it coincided with the switch to yamaha, all the elite on-track battles along the way, the way valentino did literally manage to break another rider, it's kinda... I mean, this should all be a bigger element of his legacy than it is. personally in his shoes I'd probably never shut up about it (not least because he put a CURSE on a guy, which I get probably isn't good pr to discuss but y'know). what he's doing here isn't in his own best interest!! valentino you should be using this podcast to introduce the kids to quite honestly THE best and most watchable stretch of your career. valentino the kids haven't watched mugello 2004, valentino don't you think catalunya 2004 gets kinda overlooked, valentino tell the kids to check out assen 2004. valentino you won your first yamaha title at phillip island 2004 with a frenzied last lap battle, isn't that kinda cool and memorable and special. valentino
anyway tbh I think at this point he's not even doing it on purpose anymore. just what happens when you're disciplined enough with a narrative, I suppose, sticking to it even inside your own head - all about those lovely little stories athletes like to tell themselves, isn't it. years worth of editing and minimising and deflecting and erasing and suddenly it's really just three rivalries that stand head and shoulders above the rest - conveniently leaving out the ones that got interpersonally messy. it is a bit of a shame because, again, valentino buddy I hate to break this to you but 2004 is just categorically your most-enjoyable-to-watch title campaign. but clearly, to him, there are things that matter more than actually effectively propagandising his own career. you've gotta respect the grind ig. and maybe it's for the best that some of the details of those years remain confined to a niche audience, eh
#getting asks like this is deeply cathartic to me#because when i was properly going through the autobiography for the first time i did go. is anyone else seeing this#'hey does anyone else think rossi deliberately excluded gibernau from his autobiography' is NOT the kind of thing you can post on reddit#//#brr brr#batsplat responds#curse tag#that bloody sepang sweeping celebration is low key still the funniest thing he's ever done and it kinda gets forgotten about#always torn between two impulses with this because. you do see the state of the discourse out there and go 'hm maybe it's for the best'#let's keep the number of people who've watched the sepang 2004 presser in double digits yeah
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