#HOPEFULL WHAT I LEARNED STICKS AROUND

[bear-cubs-art-things]

My face hurts; but I'm getting WAAYY better at trumpet :D (I think I learned... 4-6ish new notes today?? So... possibly 10 notes on trumpet under my belt 😎)

Gunna eat lumch. After that I may practice my trombone some then draw things XD

[komi-lovee]

[PART TWO]

Tina and Bad managed to get away after running for so long, but that definitely left some damage on both of them. Especially bad. It was traumatic, at least Tina was there for him. After wondering through the woods, trying to find somewhere to stay by climbing high in the trees to look around. They found an old abandoned cottage. Vines and plants wrapped around the foundation of the house, Bad used his sharp claws to clear the path in. It was dirty and messy, Tina and bad had hope they could fix it. As long as they had a place to live. They used thick vines tied to a large stick to sweep around, and old papers or tissues laying on the ground to wipe of the tables or other furniture after dipping it in water. Being how little they were, the house took weeks to fully clean. But they were determined, and for once hopefull.

[Time skip Years later]

Bad and Tina were older and wiser, 14 coming on 9,800. Their abilities enhanced, they could climb and run faster. And having so much free time, both could become more in touch with their demon sides. (I like to believe as an headcannon Bad can use his tail freely, like strangely another arm. He had full control over his, using to pick up things or hang off thick tree branches. Unlike Tina, who had some control over it but not as much as Bad. She could do more things like sway it around, but there were of course limits). They spend lots of time hunting to keep intact with their demon senses. Life was calm, like the calm before the storm. Bad and Tina tried picking up hobbies. Bad of course who scavenge for food a lot, or find different towns to steal from. (It was of course hard searching for food in places that have you traumatic past experiences from.) He tries his best using what he found to cook. He even learned how to make muffins, it turned out to be his favorite. Tina liked doing different things, she could never make up her mind on what to do. She enjoyed swimming (unlike bad), hunting, reading books left my the past owner of the cottage, climbing the tallest tress she could, painting, or whatever she felt like doing. They made the most with their time, while they have it together...

[moondonky]

Effin millenial

Why not, we'll be in the future afterall... they can call us names, they can hate,, we just wait, we know what we want, what's needed... they can try to force us into communism or materialism or authoritarianism which is all basically the same thing, derives from the same system... but millenials are the complete opposite want neither of those things... everyone hates millenials that propaganda is strong against... cuz we are kinda minimalist, because we don't want to rely on money, or work as a slave for somebody,, we like to grow things, we think war is idiocrazy, we would prefer to be more self reliant, we value empathy, racism stems from fear and we are fearless in many ways, if need be stoic, they can say millenials got the shit end of the stick but I would wager it was done on purpose, drugs and depression is sold to us for a reason, because eventually they'll all be dead, that age gap is a nice barrier keeping them in a distance, and say what u will millenials are the smartest generation, and u can take that futher and say resilient.. they can't really push millenials around anymore, they can't really say shit to millenials anymore, we will argue, we will give about as much shits as they did,, millenials absolutely do not give af about there retirements.. we just wait lol eventually there will be plenty of empty houses, most of capitalism is to take care of them, maintained for them, and millenials are disconnecting and growing gardens, we don't really care about nice cars or big houses, peace of mind, once u get a taste that's all u want, get as far away from the rat race,, and it's better for the planet in every way,, say what they will, focus on a few,, but most millenials service infrastructure, alot are artisans of trades,, and srry to say what annoys us the most is serving narcissist fucking bully baby boomers, who get a rise off being terrible to people, who literally cause all the problems, especially the rich ones lol obviously I'm also only focusing on the few.. but as John Wayne one said,, baby boomers are the pussy generation... they had it good, they are softer and weaker than they would have us all believe, they put there parents into retirement homes, they are selfish, they are conformists, they are petty, they kicked cans down roads, as if not there problem, they stole the future from our children, they are Godless...

Effin millenial, why not,, prove me wrong,, all I do is watch and process what's going on, idgaf, sins of our fathers, I may find humor and laugh out loud, with concerned eyes i smile,, because I'm hopefull, it is what it is, but I do not partake in it, we learn from our mistakes, that is how God teaches us lessons.. if u are not learning something right now in the times we live in, u are blind and have no ears.. in my head we can be found innocent on judgement day, a covenant goes both ways... the few do no not dictate everyone's fate

[beann-e]

Bnha Characters reacting to when you quit your job

bakugou

your steps were quiet as you tried to work up the energy to unlock your front door. Your hands sweating and cold when you finally got the energy to put the key in the lock a deep exhale leaving your lips when you finally walked in.

Your Body only carrying you to your kitchen counter before you dropped your keys and bag on the same counter your body now rested against.

The room heating up and shifting from the ice quiet atmosphere youd created when you felt strong arms wrap around your waist and pull you back to meet a hard chest

Small kisses being planted on the side of your neck as you let out another sigh of relief as you spoke trying not to drown in the comfort being given to you “ baby “

Your body shook as you heard a deep grunt of acknowledgment “ we — we need to talk “

you felt as another set of kisses were placed to your neck before his head snuggled into the spot between your neck and shoulder “ I— I think I made a mistake“

You bit at your lip as you kept going “ I— I was trying my best to stick up for myself y’know like you told me”

“ mm—and did you“

“ I did —I mean I did stick up for myself and I had to I needed to bu—”

“ slowly losing interest y/n “

you let out a shallow cough “ but I think I did it at the wrong time “

his body stood up a bit straighter head still remaining in the same place somehow “ baby I —i lost my job “

You felt as your boyfriends body went hard almost as if he was trying not to slam your own body into the floor in anger his grip around your waist only getting tighter “ like I said I — I wrong time“

“ wrong time? — y/n wrong place “ he screamed as he jolted your soul out of your already shaken figure. His head flying back to look at you conveying all the anger and annoyance he held, “ what the fuck do we do now “

you let out a small laugh to try to ease the tension “ we — we rely on your hero check ? “

You watched as he sucked his teeth and moved out of the kitchen “ I can barely feed a fucking roach with my salary y/n “ his voice getting louder as he walked into the living room you following closely behind “ i — i can barely feed you — us — y/n this is why we don’t have little crumb snatchers running around now “

his voice deep and heavy “ cause we’re broke do you get that babe ? huh no — fuck — you— fuck fuck fuck you gotta go back — you can’t just be chilling around the fucking house while i’m working my ass off that’s not how starting a family works y/n “

“ baby it’s just until I can get a new job “

“ tch— and how long will that take y/n “

“ well I— “

“ huh months ? “

“ well n— “

“ couple weeks “

“ I mean hopefull— “

“ babe you don’t even fucking know “ he sighed as he griped the skin on the bridge of his nose “ so fucking stupid — so so so fucking stupid “

the room went quiet as your eyes dropped to the ground. “ wel— no — I — I don’t know kats” you shook your head “ I— I really don’t“

“ and that’s the problem y/n “ he screamed eyes finally opening to look at you.

God, he loved you but seriously you just didn’t think sometimes

It’s not that he was calling you stupid it’s just that he really really loved you

He loved that you listened to him. That whenever he gave advice you heard it and went with it.

The night he told you to speak up he was honestly just fucking with you. He always forgets that he has someone who loves him now meaning he’s taken seriously. He always forgets he’s not in high school anymore.

He can’t say something crazy and asshole—ish and expect to just be ignored. He has someone that loves him and will truly listen.

Your not the stupid one

nor the one in the wrong he is

and he knows he is because he heard everything you said about your situation. Yet, he knew you were different from him whereas he had been speaking his mind for years regardless of ranks.

You couldn’t.

You had a job where everything relied on ranks and status. You couldn’t just say whatever the fuck you wanted to like he could and yet he convinced you that night to speak up whenever your boss gave you extra work you didn’t wanna do.

His eyes felt heavy and so did his body his brain automatically beating himself up as he stared at you imagining the rough day youd had. If he was pissed off with the current situation he could only imagine how you felt.

Someone who hated to rely on others yet, now having to rely on their boyfriend.

“ come here “ your eyes lit up at the statement as your tired body wobbled over and into bakugous arms. Head hitting his chest as he crushed you “ I love you and i’m proud of you “

your heart sank.

“ fuck those idiots you only have room for one anyways and hes— fuck trust me I know i’m enough “

Shoto

“ so “

“ so “

You sat on the couch legs splayed out in front of you and hands playing with the tassels of the pillows placed next to you.

God you loved these pillows. You actually remember the day you bought them.

Y’know back when you had money

“ y/n “ you watched as shoto shifted uncomfortably on the couch next to you “ my love what are you doing home “

He shook his head confused at the body placed comfortably next to his own “ your not supposed to be home for “ he looked down at his watch moving his suit jacket up his arm to create space and to make sure he was seeing the time correctly “ for 7 more hours “

you let out a short laugh “ you sound like you just got caught cheating sho “

his eyebrows crinkled together as he stared at you in disgust “ y/n I would never “

His hand moved to be placed on your thigh “my love is that what you think ? — if that’s why your here then I can assure you tha—I mean honestly if so I would never be stupid enough to disrespect you in our home— you could’ve went to my office at least I mea— “

“ I lost my job shoto “

The air shifted as the hand on your thigh suddenly felt colder than before “ I— I lost my job “

you took a deep breath shaking your head “ it’s a long story on why but i’ve been leaving the house — pretending really— to go to work “

You chuckled “ god i’m sucha bad person “ your small chuckle turned into a hearty laugh as you felt your body go slack “ A fucking horrible timekeeper too if I managed to forget my husband gets off before me on weekends “

“ do not say these things about yourself “

“ it’s not like it’s a lie “ your tear filled eyes coming up to look at his. ” right “

“ I will not stand for this y/n “

“ for what — having an unemployed s/o—i mean you already have one so not much to do about that “

you scoffed “ why don’t you want a housewife ? huh“ you smiled “ I can wear the skirts for you y’know with the aprons cook you dinner and maybe we can have kids y’know we can even get —“

“ enough “

your body shook your eyes widened facing the 6 ft male now towering over you “ your always joking about serious things and I — I don’t understand “ his eyebrows creasing in desperate need to understand you. Eyes darting around your face “ how “

his voice going deeper as he got angrier “ y/n you lost your job“ his eyes grew wide “ do you realize how serious this is “

“ wh— “ you shook your head letting out a short scoff “ of course I do —I mean sho i’m the one who qui—lost it “

“ no you clearly don’t “ he scoffed “ not if your sitting here making jokes in my face “

His mouth quirked up in disgust “ it’s almost insulting — disgusting really “

“ wh— sho—“ you felt as a tear fell from your eye “ baby what could be so disgusting huh ? so ‘ insulting ‘ about me choosing to leave huh “

his eyes softened “ because of your reason to leave “

“ my reason ? “

“ my love I know you — I know you didn’t get fired and I know you wouldn’t just leave you loved it there “

your head dropped as your fiddled with your fingers “ so that means something led you to make that life changing decision and it hurts me that you were forced to make it “

Your heart broke, he was right he was always right, for days at work youd been dealing with an overbearing co worker who would tell you to do everything they didn’t feel like doing and when you finally decided to say no to them

They went and told your boss. Who even though you’d been working there longer than your so called coworker still believed everything they were told.

That was the day that you sadly found out your job favored years over hard work.

Due to the other person being there longer you were trumped in telling your story. It was seen as not necessary because , someone who was there for so long would have no reason to lie on someone like you.

A newbie

“ someone made you quit this job “

“ sho no they— I decided “

You felt as the couch shifted from him kicking it. You thinking he was moving to grab his shoes except walking past them and unlocking the door instead.

“ baby where are you going — we need to talk about how we’re going to split the bills now that i— “

“ i’ll handle it “

“ shoto you can’t put everything on your dads card we’re not “ you let out a soft exhale “ we’re not children anymore “

“ i’ll pay for it all myself — and you can be my little housewife “ he scoffed as your expression grew sour “ it was so funny a moment ago right “

“ shoto i’m not gonna ask again where are you going “

“ where else “

your eyebrows came together in a furrow “ wh— “

“ my love you work for my company ? obviously who ever I put in charge “ he shrugged walking barefoot to his car unlocking the door “ isn’t doing a very good job if they fire their bosses s/o ? “

He got into the drivers seat as he turned the car on and reversed the car “ needs to learn respect no ? so i’ll just have them switch places with you“ he smiled softly “ i’ll see you when I get home “

His once furious eyes turning soft at your body hidden in pajamas “ go inside baby —it’s cold —go order us some takeout i’ll be back in a little ok “

“ sho “

“ just let me handle this —i love you and i’ll be right back my love—go “

You shook your head softly “ go y/n “

[restlessmelodrama]

playlist november: lover’s blues

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5gpCInR1jyZyRcX9mQWQA3?si=CbGBqj7eR2-Mft11SZbONA

1. think about things -daði freyr

“when we first met

i will never forget

'cause even though i didn't know you yet

we were bound together then and forever″

2. maple syrup -the backseat lovers

“did it hurt

when I kicked you to the curb?

now i'm all alone

i guess i'll never learn”

3. freaking out -the wrecks

“I found a flower it's in my shoe and it is mine

things are fine now, yeah it's alright 

and all these goddamn people in the world 

are all just getting by

i'm in the backroom, she's with a guy

he's selling happiness and hopefullness one bag at a time.”

4. stick around -brotherkenzie

“and baby you could be the one for me

hand in hand, feeling free

if i could love you

more than myself, maybe.

what’s next? bourbon please

ain't you a little drunk for these?

just go away, just go away”

5. too late -the happy fits

i could be whole if i didn't know

about the birdies and the bees and the bushes

eighteen came around and it was somewhat malicious

everybody loses control

i'm a little scared of my soul”

6. best tears -the happy fits

“please, show us and tell, how your life's not going straight to hell

all those jeepers and creepers wanna sit in your head

But fall out of line and you'll be shot and dead”

7. favorite poison -fuller

"you're a bad habit, and i'm a bad boyfriend

i’m a drug addict, you're my favorite poison.”

8. sisters -saint motel

“you showed me marijuana

and what good rock n roll could be

and though i never knew

i was so sure i’d always count on you”

9. like or like like -miniature tigers

“i climbed up your front porch

and i doorbell ditched ya

and i felt so bad, couldn't cope to what i did

so i laughed myself sick all the way to my car

tell me how you feel about me? do you like or like, like me?”

10. portland -bowling shoes

“haven't you seen

my bad habits lately

i've been naive

and i've been feeling hazy, maybe

i've barely left my room in a week

the thought of doing so scares me

i wish it could be easy

To fall asleep completely

she said to me as she sparks a pipe in the sunlight

as she reclines, she tells me I'll be alright”

11. 2023 -blue rain boots

“is that the sun i see or am i just being greedy gonna change my ways so i'm not so fucking needy cant keep feeding in to the way that you need me so look around what have we found search the end of the world up and down it's okay, when we find our way, it’s gonna be okay”

12. Arms tonite -mother mother

“and hey, you, don't you think it's kinda cute that i died right inside your arms tonight that I'm fine even after I have died because it was in your arms I died

I cry in the afterlife i cry hard because I have died and you're alive i try to escape afterlife i try hard to get back inside your arms alive”

[descendantofthesparrow]

Saved - harry Hook x reader

Umaxharry90  on wattpad

I wanna make a request? Could you do another one where Evie has a sister and she's so beautiful so the Evil Queen get's jealous and locks her up on the Isle of the Doomed and Harry finds her?

Evie rushed through the isle, tears burning her eyes, slamming into shoulders without care, her older sister, her best friend, had been taken by their mother and forced to be locked up on the isle of the doomed.

She skidded to a stop at the docks, watching as goblins sailed away with her sister, her (h/c) hair gleaming in the cloudly daylight, evie felt tears slip down her face, as she screamed out.

“(Y/N)!”

“don’t scream for that tramp my little evilette, she is not worth your tears”

“mommy? W-why?”

“there shall not be a woman more beautiful than me, even if it's my own daughter, now come.”

Evie stood paralyzed for a few moments, her blurry eyes-catching a flash of red. Turning she locked eyes with a boy, with ocean blue eyes and a hook, staring shocked at the little boat with her sister in it.

Evie sniffed, wiping away her years and turning back to the fading boat with her sister in it.

“well see each other again, I promise”

=

It had been several years since your mother sent you off to the isle of the doomed, evie was 10 when you were sent away, and now she was 16, 6 years since she had seen you.

Recently, she had been ordered to go to the isle of the doomed to retrieve the dragon eye scepter, but evie had another goal.

Her sister.

But mal, had refused to let evie explore, so evie had returned to her castle in tears, hoping her sister wasn’t dead.

Only a month later, evie was in Auradon and she had chosen the side of good, begging for the new king, ben, to look for her sister on the isle of the doomed and save her.

He tried, but no one was willing to go.

Evie suffered in silence, hoping for someone to save her sister, maybe even that boy she saw on the day it happened.

Maybe.

=

Harry trekked the isle, his bag slung over his shoulder, ready for sailing to the isle of the doomed, when a thought popped into his head.

6 years ago, there was a girl, a very beautiful girl, that had been forced on the goblin ship and sailed off to the isle of the doomed, if he remembered correctly, she was the second daughter of the evil queen, sent way because the queen was jealous of her beauty.

Harry sighed, adjusting the bag on his shoulder as he arrived at the lost revenge, there would be no chance that the girl would still be alive, 6 years? On the isle of the doomed, that place got less food and sunlight than the main island.

Still…

Harry ruffled his hair, what was he thinking? Be a hero and save the princess? Yeah right, that was a job for the stuck up heroes of Auradon, not the pirate son of captain hook.

“Harry!” he jumped, looking at uma, who was apparently had been calling his name, “are you even listening?”

“uhh” harry started, rubbing his neck “no?”

Uma sighed, flicking his forehead “as I was saying, are you ready to go?”

Harry nodded “aye” uma hummed, still staring at him before asking.

“what was distracting you?”

Harry froze, before sighing and relenting after trying to deny, only for uma to glare.

“there, there was this girl-“

“oooh~” uma cooed, smiling “you met someone?” Harry shook his head, making uma raise her brows.

“no- it-okay you remember the rumor that the evil queen had two daughters?” uma nodded slowly.

“yeah? And that the older sister was sent to the isle of the doomed because she was becoming too pretty?”

Harry nods “its not a rumor” uma paled, eyes widening and jaw-dropping

“what”

“aye, I saw it, I saw the evil queen drag her on to a goblin boat, and order them to sail her to the isle of the doomed, blueberry showed up to, she was so…sad like she actually loved the sister”

Uma stayed silent for a moment, staring at the ground, before looking back up at Harry with a determined gaze. “what if we find the lost princess?”

Harry blinked, tilting his head “hold up, what?! Us, pirates! Find the lost princess? Then what? Hold her for ransom?”

Uma shook her head, still smirking “no, if we get into Evie's sister's good side, she could convince evie to convince beasty boy to bring us over! It's perfect!” uma clapped her hands, a cunning grin on her face.

Harry mulled it over, it could be a good back up plan, and who knows, maybe this lost princess could be the key to getting them off the isle.

“let's do it” harry murmured, nodding “let's go save the princess” he ended with a snort, walking past uma and onto the ship, uma beginning to yell out orders to the crew, telling them of a new plan.

The shell necklace…and the lost princess.

---

It has been six long years since you stepped foot on the main aisle, six long years of wandering the foggy lost woods and scrounging for food, learning to defend yourself from the dangers animals and feral goblins.

You had grown since then, standing at (h) and your once long hair now cut to a shoulder-length blunt cut for easy mobility.

Your once soft stomach now hardened with muscles and scars, your soft fingers now calloused and rough.

In your mother's eyes, you would have been ugly, horrific, unworthy of someone's love.

But when you saw your face in the rivers, you saw beauty, power, and strength. Everything your mother was not.

You knew you would never find love, only because you were stuck here, on the isle of the doomed, fighting for your life each day, gaining skill with weapons and shields.

Until one day, a boy appeared, he had a long red jacket on, a pirate hat placed on top of his head, a silver hook in his left hand, a cutlass in his right.

“hook” you whispered, easily recognizing the son of captain hook, harry. if you remembered correctly, this was the same boy who had helplessly watched as you were taken away.

…

Maybe now he could help.

Stepping out of the shadows, you kept your hand on your sword, just in case he was a foe.

You stepped on a twig making harry jump and whirl around, bright ocean blue eyes connecting with yours

‘wow’ you thought, feeling your face slightly heat up

‘he's pretty’

---

‘holy fuck’ harry swallowed harshly, staring into the beautiful (e/c) eyes of the girl standing before him  ‘she's beautiful’

Harry lowered his sword, letting you step toward him a little.

“Are yeh the lost princess?” the girl blinked tilting her head.

“the hell-what does that mean?”

Harry shook his head, biting his lip at the smooth tone of the girl “i-I mean, are yeh the princess that the evil queen sent away?”

“oh,” the girl nodded “yeah that would be me, why are you asking?”

Harry smiled, in a hopefully friendly way “im here ta return yeh to the main isle,” he sheathed his sword, holding his hand out to the girl.

She gave a brilliant smile, jogging forward and taking his hand “really?!”

Harry nodded, still smiling,a blush settling on his face at the hopefull gaze in her eyes, “aye, but there is just one thing I need ta do, Ursula's necklace”

You nodded, “I know where the pieces are if that helps?”

Harry beamed “yes! If you could tell me?”

“better yet!” you gripped his hand, leading him the opposite way he was going “ill show you”

---

Harry watched as you slept in his bed, freshly bathed and in clean clothes, your true beauty revealed after finally getting off all that stained dirt and goblin blood.

“How is she harry?” uma asked, walking into his room, holding a chip shop plate with fish sticks and fries.

“shes asleep” Harry murmured, taking the plate and starting to eat “she fell right asleep as soon as she hit the matress”

“well” uma stole a fry, tossing it in her mouth “considering she's been sleeping on cold hard ground the last six years, I think she would love to sleep on something a bit softer”

“aye” harry muttered, chewing on a fish stick “now what?”

Uma hummed, watching as (y/n) turned over in her sleep, her back now facing them. “well, she's crazy with a sword, wicked strong, fearless…not a lot we can teach her…quartermaster?”

Harry nodded “aye, it would fit like a glove for ‘er”

Uma smirked, “right, ill start making preparations for her room at the warehouse, then well start repairing the ship for living quarters, night harry”

“night cap’n”

Harry watched you in silence for a minute, before standing and getting ready for bed, climbing into his hammock, he watched your torso rise and fall with each breath.

He fell asleep to the thought of many adventures with you.

The most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

---end---

 part 2 

[fumikomiyasaki]

“You look exhausted.”

For Carol & Belia

A Nightmare?

Despite actually feeling comfortable before spending the night with Damián as sleep cought up to her she felt uneasy... she already had bad sleep the last days and thought maybe staying with him would fix it but the dream world was still mean to her... She looked back at that same teacher that isolated her in the past... her sister leaving her behind, the people in school turning her back on her and lastly... the new friends she got mocking her, one by one... with even Damián just ignoring her... as she once again sat on the ground alone... hearing nothing, no voice anything... just all alone with no one to turn to... given she turned a lot in her sleep thanks to this dream she was greeted by Damiáns face in worry... a tear leaving her cheek.

“Mi Amor... you look exhausted... what is wrong?”

In response to him she quickly wrapped her arms around him and started sobbing. He pulled his arm around her to hold her close.

“I... never want to be all alone again... I am scared... if I ever say something that makes people avoid me again... like with that Teacher... who ruined my friendships in the past... I don’t....”

Seeing her like this he placed a kiss on her forehead.

“I will never leave you alone...  you already got me too attached to you. It was a nightmare and no matter what happens... I will stick with you.”

Looking up at him with her red eyes she lightly showed him a smile.

“S-Sorry for overeacting... its just... a bit of a bad memory...”

“You can always lean onto me and cry, I’ll listen Mi Amor.”

“Thank you... I love you so much you don’t even know... I am just always a bit insecure that I upset the wrong person on accident and then... everyone will dislike me. “

“You don’t have to explain yourself. For now rest and embrace me to get ome sleep.”

“Alright... I will.” It was comfy and warm in his arms... it was just right to shift her dreams into a more hopefull direction.. one of a future for the both of them.

As an exception given Bethany insisted Snake slept over at Belias place.. however this was also where he noticed her seeming distressed in her sleep. Her dream was a protrayal of the times she raised Bethany... in the slumps, fighting of full monsters that didn’t learn to control their monster forms, nearly starving to death and keeping her daughter warm through the winter. Hearing the laughter of that same man that abandoned her. 

She woke up thanks to snake lightly poking her face. Which gave her a light shock.

“You look exhausted... those black rings don’t suit you.”

“Shut up, why do you bother me?”

“You seemed to have a pretty bad dream given how you reacted.”

She lightly leaned up and looked away from him.

“Have you ever wished you could choke someone to death?”

“Oh my having a dark side, shortie?”

“Not really... the man who is Bethanys blood father... I don’t regret having my sweet baby daughter but I regret trusting that man at all... and seeing him still being close to me thanks to being a RSA teacher... I sometimes have these thoughts.”

“I see... well if you ever need someoen to take care of him...”

“No... I just need to accept its in the past... but its hard...”

Snake smirked at her.

“Well if you ever want to vent out your anger and frustration at me I don’t mind it.”

She glared at him and then turned her head to sleep... ironic enough his comment did make her thoughts calm down a little.... and her dreams focused more on the happiness of her daughter.

__________________________________________________

[snowpatrolfanclubbrazil]

By Paul Mcnamee

Chasing Cars was the UK's most widely played song of the Noughties. But after global success, Snow Patrol have been quiet for seven years. Frontman Gary Lightbody was drawn into the 'dirt darkness' by drink and depression but now, he tells Paul McNamee, he's found his way home.

Gary Lightbody's moment came two years ago in a gym in Santa Monica. The Snow Patrol frontman has long had a reputation of indulging his appetites. But even he was going at in on a bigger scale, with a fierce, Valhallan vigour. The band's last tour had finished in late 2012.an then: "I started drinking." he says, "with a gusto that a professional boxer might train for a prize fight. It'd be mostly beer, I was quite a happy drunk. There was a hell of a lot of fun. Until it wasn't.

"I'd get to 2am sitting on my own, have a cry, and then a glass of something [stronger], I didn't have any relationships and I wasn't having sex either.I was very hermetic. Around 2015/2016 I was drinking every day and also I was hating it. I regret doing it even though I knew I was doing it out of compulsion" He was hitting the gym in the mornings to sweat it off. Then came the moment.

"I bent down to touch my toes and everything started spinning. It felt like the floor beneath me was moving. I thoughy it was an earthquake. But I kept going on. I phoned a friend who lived around the corner. I was like, 'Are we having an earthquake?' He said "Something's going on here'.

"I had a bunch of CT scans on my head. My whole head was infected - sinus, ears, eyes, everything. I'd been having styes and stuff on my eyes. Stick a teabag on it. This was the week before I was going to France to see Northen Ireland play in their first tournament i 30 years. I siad to the doctor, 'I'm flying to France in five days'. He's like, "No, you're not. If you fly with the air pressure it's feel like daggers ripping into your head'. I was still thinking maybe I'll be alright. I spoke to a friend, Gabrielle, an acupuncturist, an extraordinary human being. She'd been trying to get me to stop drinking for while..." So he stopped. Or at least, he began to stop. And in flooded the dark realities he'd been masking.

In recent weeks, as he's been working around the release of Wildness, Snow Patrol first album in seven years, Lightbody has started to talk for the first time about the mental health problems which have plagued him for year. ("I didn't talk about anything, nobody knew, the band didn't know.") Last year, after 12 months sober, came another key moment.

"Last summer", he says, "I thought I'd be relieved to get the album done. We'd just finished. But I wasn't. I was devasted. I'd opened a place in my psyche and I didn't know how to shut the door. It was like ark of the covenant was opened [from Raider Of The Lost Ark] and there were melting faces left and right and I didn't know how to shut the thing down. So instead of talking to somebody I tried to shut myself out. Let my own face melt. And the band knew something and they flew from London and arrived at the door and I broke down and told them everything. 

I have a depressive personality that has no relationship with reality. I could be having the best time on the surface and yet my depression goes 'You're still a cunt. Don't forget that. I'm dragging you down into the inkand the dirt and the darkness'. I could be playing to 15,000 people and three hours later be in a hotel room cruying on the floor. That's happened a bunch of times. The depression and the success have no relation to each other. It's just part of me. I've learned that rather than running from it, which you can never really do - you can have and turn and face it and look it in the eyes and say I'm not afraid of you any more".

And so he went home. Back to Northen Ireland, to North Down where he was brought up. It's the place he was desperate to leave in 1994, whe he ran to Dundee to star university, to start a band , to start years of chipping away with no success. Then he wrote Run and everything changed. 

It's easy, given their time away, to forget just how huge Snow Patrol were for a period from the mid to late Noughties, Nobody, really, was bigger. The song Chasing Cars, from fourth album Eyes Open, was picked up for UA his TV show Grey's Anatomy and propelled them to massive fame. Lightbody moved to Santa Monica around 2009. ("Soon as my feet hit the sand in Santa Monica something just hit and I thought, I want to live here") Recently he claimed he'd moved back to Northern Ireland because the band were getting ready to work again  and he needed to be near them. But it feels like the truth is little more complicated.

"You're right. There are quite few reasons. My dad isn't well, my mum isn't coping very well and my niece is going to be 11 in July, I've missed most of her life living in LA.

"And I missed home. It's a time in Northern Ireland as well when it feels like we're at a bit of a crossroads again. I felt a bit of a calling back here. Not that I figure I can help in any way, but I certainly won't feel connected if I'm 5,000 miles away I wanted to reconnect". We're meeting in the Crawfordsburn Inn, the picture post card hotel not far from Gary's shorefront home, overlooking Belfast Lough.

It feels timely. We meet on the 20th anniversay of a concert in Belfast's Waterfront Hall, hosted by U2, that helped deliver a huge Yes vote in the referendum for the Good Friday Agreement. In a nation where defiant, No's had been the lingua franca, a Yes was significant. A political statement and a cleansing.

On that day, John Hume and David Trimble were ushered onstage by Bono , a man with a keen eye for a moment, U2 sang Don't Let me Down. Ash were there too, being young and hopefull. Twenty years on, as Lightbody says, Northern Ireland is at a bit of a crossroads. And he's found his way home. The album, Wildness, is worth the wait. If Snow Patrol had touched on themes of running and movement in the past, Wildness has a leitmotif of finally settling; The word 'home' is laced throught several songs. Two tracks in particular illustrate what Snow Patrol can really do - the anthemic reach of the huge, wondroug openning track Life on Earth ( a track that took Gary five years to complete) and the intimancy of What If This Is All The Love You Ever Get?), a piece with just Gary on piano, a heartbreaker written for a friend going through a divorce. 

The song Soon marks another significant theme. It deal with Lightbody's father Jack's battle with Alzheimer's . It's a simple builder, full of grace note and sadness. There is a something quietly heroic in it. The video, filmed in Lightbody's apartment, sees him and his fater watching old home movies his dad recorded throught the years. As well as the sadness over what his father is losing, there is an understanding of a farewell to lost youth that the hopefulness of that other country is worth revisiting for both of them. "I love my dad," he says. "I have a lot of respect for him so I wanted to honour him, but at the same time I also have a lot of guilt for being away for most of my adult life. I don't just mean LA, I mean Glasgow, London,  or on tour constantly. And there is probably a place in my head where I go when I'm feeling somesick and that is both a place of calm and nostalgia and also a place of guilt and some shame.

"I've felt I've been running away most of the time from myself. So [he pauses]...someof the home references are me feeling disconnected rather than connected...feeling like I'd never really found a home. I never truly felt at home when I was growinh up in Northern Ireland. Then I left and never really felt at home anywhere else. And then I moved back to Northen Ireland and now I do feel at home here, but that has also coincided with me feeling at home inside my own body. Which was the whole problem the whole time. I wasn't comfortable with myself, I didn't like myself. So you have to figure that out before you can feel at home anywhere.

The band's influence and legacy go beyond their own work. They've helped shape the sounds that have become pervasive in post-millennial pop. Lightbody and band member Johnny McDaid have written with, among others, Ed Sheeran, Taylor Swift and One Direction. Snow Patrol took Sheeran on the road in the States in 2011, helping him break through. They remain close. "Between myself and Johnny McDaid, we're written a lot of things for other pop acts, him more than me", he say. "I would say Ed came fully formed from his first album. He'd done the groundwork. All the grafting that you need to do, when you're a young band. He busked his ass off from the age of 15 on the streets of London, sleeping on his mate's couch. He had turned up to gigs and said to promoter, can you give me 15 minutes after the doors open. And promoters say aye. That's how he started. He grafted harder and still does to this day - harder than anyone I know. Sheeran's returning the favour, taking the the band on an American tour autumn. 

Refusing to accept Snow Patrol as fountainheads of a sound, Lightbody says they are more like Zelig, "probably bystanders". One got away, though. Mutual friend James Corden introduced Lightbody to Adele. 

"It happened to be a birthday of somebody that James and Adele knew...and I sat down with her and she said when are we going to do [a song]. We did two days - Adele, Johnny McDaid and me - the bones of three really amazing fucking songs. But we never got round to finishing it. And then the album came out and obviously we weren't on it."

While his own album has just come out, there is already preassure to get busy on the next. Long time producer, friend and mentor Garret "Jacknife" Lee has been in touch ("he says we need to get cracking on the next one"). For now, ahead of their own arena tour in the winter, Lightbody is learning to cope, listening to podcasts ("StuffyouShouldKnow from HowStuffWorks is my favourite one") and Bon Iver ("I think he's the finest songwriter alive") and working things out. 

"Me, now not drinking, I like myself but I'm socially awkward, I'd rather be sitting with bandmates, my family. I'm 41. I know what I want.

  And that is? 

"Peace I want to make sure that every day of my life I take a moment and realise eveything is calmer. I've learned how to meditate, learned how to do Qigong. Learned a whole load of practices that I do every day. They mitigate the madness. The greatest thing I ever did for my own emotional wellbeing was to talk."

And if we went back 20 years, and said here are the successes, here are the demands it'll make on you mentally, personally, physically - would you have taken it? "I would have taken it for half the successes I can't believe what happened to us. I still can't believe when I look back at  it, at  everything that is successful that has been good. At everything that is still happening. It is a dream, It's a bloody dream."

[banditboykyle]

Custom GBA SP

21/06/2020

Recently I bought these GBA SP’s with the idea of modding them to have some one-of-a-kind consoles. Custom colours/paint jobs and the IPS screens from RetroModding is the current plan. One will be for me and the other for my friend Cameron. He doesn’t know I’m doing this and I hope it will make for a neato Christmas present or if I’m done long before then it will just be a present- you don’t need a reason to be nice :)

I’ve never done anything like this before and will have to learn as I go. Should be fun.

I bought them without full knowledge of their condition and functionality. The silver one appears to work 100% but the pink one has a vertical line of what I think are dead pixels down the middle of the screen. This doesn’t matter for now as the IPS screen will be fitted. I’ll hold onto it and maybe repair it if possible some day.

I’ve got to wait now for my shipment to arrive from the states. Could be a few weeks so I’ll have plenty of time to think about things. It’s late and I have work in the morning so this will be it for todays log. N’night  🌙 ✨ 💕

22/06/2020

Today I’ve been thinking about the theme for Cameron’s Gameboy. The name he goes by in games is Koala so that’s definately going to be the main focus for the design. KoalaBoy Advance SP?

I haven’t even thought about how I’ll go about painting it, or even what paint to use but for now I’ll draw out the top of a gameboy and sketch some ideas. If I had a printer I’d print out multiple on a page, it’s what I guess I’d recommend you do if you have one.

I drew around one of my gameboys and after a few real crappy designs I came up with this one, still a lot of work to be done but I can refine it a lot with Adobe Illustrator.

Not much headway made this evening, I’m a terrible procrastinator but an idea to go forward with into tomorrow is at least something.

23/06/2020

Today I’ve been thinking about colour choices. In some ways I’m limited with my choice if I want a consistant theme thoughout the console because of the limited options for aftermarket buttons. I found this photo of an SP someone was selling through Reddit and can’t shake it out of my head. White with teal (instead of the baby blue pictured) buttons/trim/koala graphic is what I’m going with. Hope Cameron likes it.

I transfered the photo of yesterdays sketch into Illustrator and finished with this design. I figure I’ll be making some sort of stensil from the koala head. Still unsure about this though.

Lastly in terms of colours I’ve been trying to find teal rubber screw plugs (the little rubber inserts that cover the screws around the screen) but have had no luck. It’s looking like I’ll have to settle for white ones. Not the worst thing but I’ll keep and eye out for teal..

Friday is my day off work, I’ll be going to a store that day to browse spraypaint options and maybe pick some up if they have what I’m after. Between now and then though I’ll try to learn as much about painting plastic as I can.

28/06/20

On friday I went to the store as planned to get some spray paint and adhesion promoter. Their selection was very minimal so I walked away without anything. Still unsure how to source the supplies. From what I’ve been reading I want to apply as little paint as possible so the details like the select and start text don’t get bunged up and lose distinction. This can be achieved by using adhesion promoter to lessen the number of coats it will take.

Also to help the paint stick I’ll be scoring the plastic with these scouring pads. It’s basically the rough side of a sponge and takes the top layer off the surface without digging into the plastic itself.These two things combo’d will hopefull give me a nice finish.

Here I’ve done the left half with the scouring pad and left the right side untouched so you can see the difference it makes.

That’s all for today, could be a while before the next updat but who knows.