#HONESTLY SINCE THIS IS SUCH A RAREPAIR I DOUBT ANYONE WILL READ THIS

[anzynai]

Genuinity

Epel x Riddle (TWST)

a/n: GOSSHHHH TITLES THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE…. erm. BUT i always really liked this ship (it was my fav before i started really liking azul) so let me be self-indulgent and write a little something for these two,,,, also i really hope that i got them in character(?) maybe i made them a bit too affectionate IDKKK its my fic anyway so ermmmm…. ALSOO JAI STOP USING “…” A MILLION TIMES IN FICS CHALLENGE GO but either way, ENJOY <33

summary: epel sees riddle’s genuine smile and laughter and doesn’t know what to do with himself.

word count: 2.1k

warnings: contains tickling

——

“Aw, that’s real cute,” Epel cooed, kneeling, when the small hedgehog nibbled happily on its meal. Riddle gave another hedgehog their food, as it responded the same way.

“They are quite adorable, aren’t they?” Riddle agreed. Epel made the mistake of looking at him because on the other’s face was a smile so full of fondness and joy, it was hard to imagine it was Riddle who donned it.

“Y-yeah, thanks for inviting me.” Epel said, a bit caught off-guard. He tried focusing his attention on the little hedgehogs in front of him when he heard shuffling beside him. He turned his head, seeing a few of the hedgehogs crawling on top of Riddle, who fell back on the grass as more crawled over to him.

“H-hey, that tickles!” Riddle cried, and then Epel heard it. Riddle was giggling. The legs of the hedgehogs scurried all over his body, going every which way, so it tickling.. did make sense. But it was just so weird to see Riddle giggling! Epel hadn’t even realized he was staring until Riddle had gotten all the hedgehogs off, no longer laughing but a bright grin on his face. It shifted to confusion when he looked at Epel.

“Epel?” He asked, looking a little concerned. Epel flinched, and he tried as hard as he could to will a blush from rising to his cheeks. He wasn’t sure how successful it worked out, though.

“Yeah, sorry! You– I mean, the hedgehogs were really cute!” Epel croaked. Really, what was with him today? So what if he liked the guy.. just a tiny-bit. Getting all tongue-tied and all? That was not like him at all.

Riddle looked doubtful, but didn’t push. The entire time they were with the hedgehogs, Epel couldn’t stop thinking about how cute Riddle was, smiling and laughing like that. Urghhh….

—-

Epel.. kinda started craving seeing Riddle like that again. He had to admit he started going a bit overboard, but he couldn’t help it! Riddle was ticklish and it was cute!

One time, Epel found the housewarden in the library, looking quite focused on his book.

“Hey, Riddle.” Epel smiled from behind the other, poking him in the side to greet him.

“Hah!” Riddle jumped and giggled, but before he could question it, Epel would change the subject.

Another time, he was with Riddle, who was trying to reach a jar on the shelf in the cafeteria kitchen. Epel was just as short as he was, so he couldn’t really be much help.

“Gah! Epel!” Riddle screeched, his arms clamping down when the freshman scribbled his fingers underneath his armpit.

“Heh, sorry. Thought there was a bug.” Epel explained. Riddle narrowed his eyes at him, suspicious, but stayed silent. They ended up retrieving the jar after finding a ladder in the corner of the room. This time, Riddle made sure Epel was far, far away before reaching for it again.

The next time, they were sitting on the couch in the Heartslabyul lobby together after Epel had asked Riddle to tutor him on a subject he had been struggling with. He knew Riddle had developed a soft spot for him because he had agreed instantly, despite the fact that they were from different dorms. He would by lying if he hadn’t been developing a soft spot for him either.. maybe even more than that. Romance wasn’t his thing, though, and Riddle wouldn’t like some apple farmer from the middle of nowhere, so he took any chance he could get to be close to the other.

Riddle was teaching him how to solve a question and Epel was.. well, he was bored. He knew he asked for this, but he had never been the learning type! Could you blame him?

He squeezed Riddle’s side, casually.

“And so you– Hck!” Riddle gasped, covering his side with his hand. Epel waited for Riddle to say something. He had been doing this quite a bit, he knew that, and Riddle clearly knew something was up, but he never asked. It was strange, especially with how confrontational the housewarden tended to be.

This time was no different. He stared at Epel, a light blush on his face, before he sighed. It was slow and long, and it even made Epel a bit nervous, until Riddle looked back at the textbook, explaining the concepts like nothing had happened.

Well, whatever. He supposed he should get serious now and he picked up his pen.

Thirty minutes later, they actually managed to get a lot done, which he sort-of expected, seeing as Riddle was his tutor.

“Lastly, I had one last thing I wanted to ask you,” Riddle started, and Epel hummed.

“What is it?”

“Is there any reason you have been particularly interested in tickling me?” Epel’s eyes widened at that and Riddle looked like he was trying hard to be tough, but still radiated nervousness.

“Ah, so you did notice.”

“Do you take me for a fool?” Riddle deadpanned and Epel shook his head.

“Of course not! I was just wondering when you would say something.” Riddle raised a brow.

“And why is that?” There. The question Epel had been waiting for. But, now that he said it, should he really go through with it? It took him exactly one second to decide that yes, he absolutely should.

“So that I can do this!” Epel jumped, reaching over to Riddle’s sides with both hands and squeezing. Riddle’s hands were grasping his wrists in an instant, trying to push him away out of reflex, but perhaps Epel’s determination had strengthened him.

The blush on Riddle’s face bloomed into a deep red as he bit his lip, clearly trying to conceal his giggles. Epel’s grin turned mischievous and he started kneading his fingers along Riddle’s sides and hips.

“E-ehehepel..!” Riddle spit out, as his back met the back of the couch.

“Yeah?”

“S-stop this ahahat ohonce!” He cried, squirming. Epel smiled at that, pretending to think.

“No, it’s not everyday I get to see you smile! Let me cherish it for a little longer, yeah?” Epel traveled over different areas over Riddle’s body, internally noting down what spots were particularly sensitive and what wasn’t.

He got comfortable and relaxed a bit while tickling him because there was no way Riddle would do anything childish like tickle someone.

That was his first mistake because apparently Riddle’s thighs were not really that ticklish at all and by the time that Epel discovered that, the housewarden had already grabbed ahold of his wrists, with a smile on his face but no longer laughing.

“O-oh.”

“Oh, indeed.” Riddle doesn’t seem upset, Epel thought to himself. He would hate it if he actually made him uncomfortable but he had seen what Riddle looked like when he was angry, though he hadn’t been at the receiving end of it. He sighed. His fun was over, he supposed, but maybe he could find ways to tickle him in the future. He doubted Riddle would let his guard down so easily again…

He looked back at Riddle who was– wait, what was with that smirk on his face?!

Epel’s eyes widened when Riddle began tickling… him…! Having not expected it, he burst into giggles instantly.

“W-wahahait, Rihihihiddle!” He cried, as he tried to curl in on himself. How could he have let this happen?!

“Ah, so you are ticklish. With how confident you were in tickling me, I wouldn’t have thought,” Riddle chuckled, and who was this guy?! Riddle Rosehearts– his crush, mind you–was tickling Epel?

Epel thought his heart was going to absolutely explode. Epel had always cursed his ticklishness. Tickling was cute and he wanted to be the opposite of that. He only did it to Riddle because he thought that he wouldn’t retaliate. Clearly, he was wrong.

“Ack! Nohoho!” Epel giggled, his face heating up. He couldn’t have even stopped his blush if he tried, too distracted by Riddle’s fingers poking and prodding at his sensitive stomach.

“Did you think I wouldn’t retaliate?” Riddle asked, looking very, very smug. Though, who wouldn’t be in his situation. Riddle continued to scribble his fingers over his tummy and belly button, painfully slow and calculated.

Epel, too caught up in laughter, couldn’t form a proper response to that. He tried pushing at Riddle’s hands, but just like him, RIddle seemed determined. “Rihihihiddle!”

“What’s the matter?” Riddle replied, his fingers now gliding along Epel’s ribs.

“Plehehehase! Mehehehercy!” Epel shouted, feeling tingles all over his body and starting to become a bit overwhelmed. Luckily, Riddle did, in fact, relinquish his attack, allowing Epel a chance to breathe.

“Are you alright?” Riddle asked him, scooting a bit farther to give him space.

“Gah, you got me real good, huh? Wasn’t expectin’ that at all…” Epel said, when he felt he could finally breathe normally. Epel wasn’t tickled often. His folks back home still tickled him from time to time, but since going to Night Raven College, it had decreased. Of course, Vil would poke him in the side to jolt him awake and Rook was, well, being Rook, but despite that, it didn’t happen too much. Not like this. Despite that, he found himself not minding it as much as he thought he would have.

“You started it,” Was all Riddle said in response, as he picked up his cup of tea from the table and took a sip. Such a petty response coming from him. Epel decided that seeing this side of Riddle was really fun.

“You just looked so cute smilin’ and laughin’ like that. Wanted to see it more.” At that, Riddle froze, looking at Epel almost like he grew a second head.

“Cute?” Ah, shit. Epel didn’t mean to say that out loud. Well, too late to pretend like it didn’t happen.

“Yeah,” he admitted, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. “Really cute.” Riddle thought for a moment, before taking another sip of his tea. It seemed like he was trying to look casual, as well, but Epel noticed him tapping his pinky against the glass rhythmically.

“I see,” Riddle said, after a few seconds. “You were.. cute too.”

Cute. Epel always hated hearing that word to describe him. He was manly. He wasn’t cute. And yet, why did that word sound so different hearing it from Riddle? Why did hearing it make him happy?

His face flushed and he averted his gaze. Sevens, why couldn’t he handle a crush coolly, instead of like some lovesick schoolgirl. He tentatively looked back at Riddle. Riddle looked embarrassed too, so he felt relieved that he wasn’t the only one.

“T-thanks,” He stuttered out, awkwardly. “And, um, for tutoring me, too.”

“It was no problem. You can come to me, anytime.” Riddle replied, then he looked at the clock. “It’s late, though, so you should probably be getting back soon.”

Epel looked at the clock, cringing. “Yeah, any sooner and I would never hear the end of it from Vil.” He stood up, stretching his limbs and gathering his items.

“Shall I walk you out?” Riddle asked. What a gentleman. Epel giggled to himself, quietly.

“No, don’t worry about it. You have your own things to do,” Epel replied. He didn’t want to bother RIddle with such a thing. Riddle looked disappointed at that answer and honestly, he was too, but it seemed too late to backtrack his words.

“If you’re certain, I will at least walk you to the door.” Riddle insisted, as he stood up as well.

“Okay!” Epel smiled at that, walking to the door alongside him. It was a little dark outside, but nothing to be worried about. At the door, Riddle smiled at him. A real, genuine smile and suddenly, Epel’s eyes darted to his lips. Epel really wanted to kiss him.

“It was nice being with you, Epel,” Yep, he really, really wanted to kiss him.

“Ah, uh, you too,” Epel could not think straight right now. Before he could help it, Epel leaned in, giving Riddle a peck on the lips, before pulling away just as quickly. Riddle was mystified, turning a bright red. How many times had he seen RIddle flustered today? He had to have set a world record. Epel giggled at his reaction.

“See you tomorrow!” Epel exclaimed, voice full of unfiltered glee as he gracefully walked out the door, humming to himself.

“I– see you tomorrow..” Riddle called after him, still having not recovered. When he was farther out, Epel turned back, seeing a flushed smile on the other’s face. Sevens, he was so excited to see him again soon.

[mogwaei]

So I'm wondering (and not for the first time) about the length of my fic on Ao3. I'm aware people are intimidated by 200k, let alone a behemoth that is approaching 900k+.

Does anyone have thoughts/preferences on splitting a fic up into parts vs....just saying fuck it and continuing to post in the same Ao3 doc until it's done? I can say with confidence that my current wip is going to end up over a million words. I guess I just want what is most digestible for readers. Like, is seeing the word count on a fic more of a psychological thing-- smaller WC is more appealing than a big WC? But Ao3 has the bookmarking system so I didn't think WC mattered too much. I also reasoned that having all the content in one place would be easier to follow rather than having to follow links and possibly losing readers.

Or is the simple answer that I screwed myself out of readership because I can't be bloody concise? Lol

Any thoughts are appreciated!

[phoebenavarro]

the more things change

rarepair time! I have not known peace since mag117. feat backup archivist martin with beholding powers

the magnus archives, martinelias, 2100 words, warning for dubcon kissing

read on ao3 here

“Jon is in trouble,” Martin says as he bursts into Elias’s office. A few months ago, the concept of doing something so brazenly rude to Elias would have made him freeze on the spot. It’s funny how things change, Martin thinks bitterly, and how things stay the same. He’s still terrified of Elias, although now for completely different reasons.

“Martin,” Elias replies, “Come in. What can I do for you?” He glances up at Martin briefly before returning to his paperwork.

Martin’s brain stutters. He didn’t really think this through, and he didn’t expect Elias to be so nonplussed.

“Jon’s in trouble,” Martin repeats, some of his anxiety chased away by a need to do something slowly creeping back in, “and I’m worried,” he finishes, summoning back the indignation he feels towards Elias at all times lately.

“Did something in particular happen?” Elias asks, “Because ‘worried’ seems to be a constant state of being for you.” He sounds bored, and that makes Martin angry, angry that Elias clearly doesn’t care about Jon’s well-being, and deeper down, angry that Elias doesn’t take him seriously.

Martin scoffs, but he realizes he can’t really explain what actually brought him to Elias’s office. He clenches his jaw.

“I don’t know!” he grits out, “Jon was fine, on the bus in America, then he was at a rest stop and a woman came up to him and forced him into her car.”

That makes Elias look up, and his gaze is even more piercing than normal, like he’s trying to rip through Martin with his eyes.

“How did you know that?” Elias asks, his tone so severe that Martin folds in on himself.

“I-I don’t know!” he squeaks, and he frowns. He realizes he really doesn’t know how he knew that. “I just— I had a feeling, I guess…?” He trails off. Even he knows how weak that sounds.

“I don’t think you did,” Elias says, raising one of his perfect eyebrows at Martin, “You just knew, didn’t you?”

Martin stutters, trying to come up with some explanation, but he realizes that Elias is right. He just knew.

Fuck, Martin just knew. He sinks into the chair across from Elias, stunned. Elias’s face breaks out into a grin. He chuckles quietly.

“See, this is what I like about you, Martin. You don’t lie to yourself. Oh, you may spend all your time lying to everyone else, keeping them at arm’s length because you’re terrified they won’t like you if they get to know the real you, but you’re honest to yourself.”

Martin stares at Elias, thrown off-kilter by being told such intimate things about himself so matter-of-factly. He wonders if that’s how Elias sounded when he did whatever it was he did to Melanie. “W-what?”

Elias leans back in his chair, grinning. “You know, when I asked you to start recording statements, I never expected you to progress quite this quickly.”

Martin’s eyes harden. “Are you saying I have freaky eye powers now? Like Jon?” Of course Elias planned for this, wanted this, and Martin just went along with it. Elias stands and crosses to the other side of the desk, perching on it across from Martin.

“Not quite like Jon, no. Jon is the Archivist. I’m sure your own Becoming will be different.” Elias turns his gaze back to Martin, but this time it feels more appraising. Elias leans forward, and Martin feels cold dread pooling in his gut. “I’m actually quite pleased. This is a promising development.”

“R-right, but what does that actually mean, though?” Martin asks, trying to stay calm and refusing to think of the implications of him being able to just know things. Elias wants to knock him off balance, keep him a stammering mess so he won’t get any answers out of him. “Is this going to keep happening? Will I develop other… abilities?”

“Yes, it will keep happening as you get stronger. As for if you’ll gain more abilities, I don’t know, Martin.” He leans forward. “But I’ll enjoy watching.”

“O-Okay, but what does that mean? Practically? I mean, the Eye’s not giving me these powers out of the goodness of its heart. What do I have to do? Can I stop it?”

Elias smiles at him with an almost unbearable fondness, which Martin has never seen from him before, and it makes Martin uneasy. “I’m afraid there’s nothing you can do to stop it at this point,” he says, and Martin sighs. Figures. “You don’t need to be doing anything you won’t be doing already, just reading statements.”

“Right, as I become less and less human,” Martin spits.

“Being human isn’t everything, Martin. You’re not going to stop being yourself.” Elias’s smile turns cruel. “But maybe you’d like that, to stop worrying about being good and nice all the time. Doesn’t it get exhausting?” Elias asks conspiratorially.

Martin narrows his eyes at him, refusing to rise to the bait. “You knew about my CV the whole time, didn’t you,” Martin says. It’s not a question, but Elias answers anyway.

“Oh, yes,” he chuckles, “It’s why I hired you in the first place. It impressed me, honestly. Such a bald-faced lie, you were so terrified, but you barely even flinched. It was charming, really.”

“Charming,” Martin repeats skeptically.

Elias tsks. “Come now, Martin, I know you don’t think highly of yourself, but is it really so hard to believe that someone would find you charming?”

Martin seriously doubts that anyone has found him charming in his life. Cute, maybe, but charming? No.

“Why…” Martin begins, but he shakes his head, “It doesn’t matter. What about Jon?”

“What about him?”

“Is he in danger?”

“Almost certainly,” Elias smiles, “but he’s survived worse. You’ll just have to trust me.”

Martin starts laughing. “You— you cannot expect me to trust you, after you trapped all of us here, after you let Sasha get killed— for God’s sake, you admitted to murdering two people! And now! I’m getting monster powers because of you.”

Elias rolls his eyes. “Martin. Don’t start lying to yourself now. I gave you the push, but you embraced the Eye on your own.” He places his hand on Martin’s shoulder, his thumb resting against Martin’s neck in a possessive way that makes Martin’s heart skip a beat. “Your need to know more hasn’t been as fervent as Jon’s, but it’s there. You tell yourself it’s to help Jon, but really, it’s all you.”

Martin finds himself unable to move away, despite how much he wants to, almost hypnotized as Elias moves his hand up to cup Martin’s cheek. His breath catches in his throat. He has no idea the last time he was this close to someone, and even on his loneliest nights, he never thought Elias would be the next person to touch him like this.

Martin has no way of knowing if Elias is actually telling the truth, or if he’s just trying to manipulate him. Probably a bit of both, he thinks.

“I just don’t know how you can keep letting Jon get hurt,” Martin says, trying to push on like Elias is not tenderly cradling his face, “I mean, he’s your archivist, whatever that means. I’d think out of all of us, he’s the one you’d care what happens to.”

Elias sighs. “I don’t like it much either, but that’s how these things go. It’s necessary for Jon to grow into his potential.”

“So, what?” Martin stares at Elias defiantly, “You’re just going to leave us in the dark? Let us get killed? Do you care at all?”

Elias strokes Martin’s cheek with his thumb, and Martin shivers. “I am sorry about Sasha,” he says quietly, “I didn’t want that to happen to her.”

And Martin, God help him, believes Elias. Maybe that’s why he still doesn’t pull away when Elias’s other hand comes to rest at Martin’s hip, when he leans in to press his lips to Martin’s. Martin freezes as Elias kisses him, but Elias doesn’t seem bothered that Martin isn’t responding.

“What are you doing,” Martin breathes as Elias pulls away briefly.

“I thought that was obvious,” Elias quips, and he settles into Martin’s lap, straddling him. Martin makes a surprised noise, but he doesn’t push him away.

“Why, then?” Martin asks, looking at Elias warily.

Elias squeezes his hip. “Because you’re mine,” he says with a predatory glint to his eyes. Martin’s blood runs cold, and now he tries to push Elias away, but Elias’s grip on him tightens, and Martin can’t get the leverage he needs. “The others may also be tied to me, but none of them have embraced their roles like you have. It has been truly a pleasure to watch you come into your own over the years.”

Martin looks away, his eyes burning. He thinks about his younger self, when he started at the Institute. He had been absolutely terrified of Elias and the way he seemed to see right through him, but also because he thought Elias was gorgeous. He still does, he supposes, especially with Elias so close to him. They’re so far beyond that now; Martin wishes Elias was just a normal, intimidatingly handsome boss. Elias brushes one of Martin’s curls behind his ear before leaning in to whisper in it.

“Do you want to know what I think? Being trapped working at the Institute doesn’t upset you as much as you think it should. Where else would you go? You’ve worked here your entire adult life, and few places will be as open to your lack of formal qualifications. You want to be angry like Tim, but you’re actually relieved. For the first time, you’re not worried about losing your job. You hate the way reading statements makes you feel, but you love feeling useful. For Jon,” he nibbles on Martin’s earlobe, making Martin gasp, “And for me.”

It’s horrible, but what’s more horrible is how Martin doesn’t want Elias to stop. He doesn’t want Elias to stop touching him; he doesn’t want Elias to stop telling him all the awful things about himself Martin usually buries deep within.

Elias grips Martin’s chin and forces him to look him in his grey eyes. Eyes that are unusually warm, and Martin’s face is so hot that he’s sure Elias can feel it.

“Oh, look at you,” Elias croons, “You’re lovely.” And that is finally too much for Martin; it feels like Elias is mocking him, there’s no way he can be sincere.

“Stop,” Martin says, and it feels far too much like begging for mercy. Elias frowns.

“Alright,” he says, “But I do mean it, you know. You are lovely like this.”

“Get off me,” Martin says, and he tries to make his voice sound as commanding as possible, but it comes out breathy and weak.

“Is that what you want? Really?” Elias asks, idly running his hand up Martin’s flank.

No, Martin’s treacherous brain says, and Martin desperately tries to remind himself that the man sitting in his lap is a murderer. Elias grins like he heard that, and hell, maybe he did; Martin doesn’t know how his powers work. Martin doesn’t know what he wants at this point, clearly, only that the weight of Elias in his lap shouldn’t be as comforting as it is.

Elias presses one more chaste kiss to his lips before climbing off Martin with a contented sigh.

“Well,” he says, “I think this development is worthy of celebration, don’t you?” Martin stares at him, slack-jawed as he continues. “Would you like to get dinner tonight?”

Martin knows he should say no, should tell Elias to fuck off, and he should tell Elias off for kissing him and touching him like that on top of everything else, but. It’s an opportunity to get Elias alone and maybe get some answers out of him for once, and Martin can’t pass that up. He knows that’s giving into the Eye even more, and he can already hear Elias’s smug voice telling him just that, but he can’t keep living like this, constantly in the dark, not knowing what’s going on or if Jon has been kidnapped again. Martin’s going to get a stress ulcer at this rate. And well, if it’s true that there’s no way out of this for him, then at the very least he’s going to use this to help the others as much as he can. (Martin ignores the way he can still feel the ghost of Elias’s lips on his own, or how he doesn’t actually hate that Elias had kissed him.)

Martin shrugs. “Sure, if you’re paying,” he says, and he doesn’t miss the way Elias gives a genuine laugh at that. Elias acting so openly… fond of him will take some getting used to, but as they walk to the restaurant Elias has chosen, Martin finds himself thinking of ways to exploit that affection.

[spockandawe]

I doubt this is something I’ll ever even try to write, because I rarely have the energy these days to devote my energy to a ‘lol but what if’ ship. But never say never, and I legit wrote the emilonni and tlj/sqq fics, after all, so I’m going to write this down and maybe, possibly, someday come back to it.

Now, hear me out

Wei Wuxian/Jin Zixun

Yes, yes, I know, but give me a second. It’s the sort of ship where I kind of want to do it just to see if it can be done, and where the idea of ‘textual support’ is kind of laughable, and it’s not like I’m smashing together two super-popular characters who just never happened to speak, and it’s the kind of ship where I think I could only shake one fic out of it before I was repeating myself, BUT.

First, a quote:

The person at the head of the group was Jin Zixun. He said, “Zixuan, is that Wei making trouble for you again?!”

Jin Zixuan said, “None of your business, don’t worry about it for now!” Seeing that Wei Wuxian grabbed Jiang Yanli and was about to take her away, he added, “Stop!”

Wei Wuxian said, “Oh, you want to fight? That’s fine with me!”

Jin Zixun said, “You Wei, just what do you mean by going against Zixuan so many times?”

Wei Wuxian looked at him. “Who are you?”

Jin Zixun paused in shock, and fumed, “You don’t know who I am?!”

“Why should I know who you are?”

When the Sunshot Campaign had first broken out, Jin Zixun had insisted on defending the back lines, due to an injury. He hadn’t had the chance to see what Wei Wuxian was like on the front lines, and most of his knowledge had come from rumors. He hadn’t care much for him, thinking that the rumors were simply exaggerations. However, a while ago, Wei Wuxian had summoned all of the dark creatures in the forest with a whistle, calling away the fierce corpses Jin Zixun’s group had been about to capture, causing their efforts to be wasted. He was already displeased.

Now, in front of his face, Wei Wuxian was asking who he was, stirring up a strange sense of indignation within him— He knew Wei Wuxian, yet Wei Wuxian didn’t know him, and even dared ask who he was in front of everyone. It was as if this had caused him to lose too much face. The more he thought about it, the more irritated he became.

Now, there’s a thoughtful meta I hopefully reblogged to my sideblog, which I would have to dig up or recreate on my own, about the most sympathetic possible reading of Jin Zixun. If memory serves, it has a lot to do about the precarious nature of his social position, where he’s part of the Jin clan, and kind of the closest thing Jin Zixuan has to a brother, but also, everyone knows that Jin Zixuan has half-siblings coming out of the woodwork, and many of them would be stoked to get Jin Guangshan to accept them into the family. At this stage in the story, Jin Guangyao is already a major player and a hero of the war and part of the venerated triad, where Jin Zixun spent a lot of time... not in the thick of things, like most other peers of his generation.

Is he an asshole? Yes! Is... Wei Wuxian an asshole? Also yes! One of them may be a more likeable asshole than the other, but that’s part of the excitement of a story like this, trying to coax people into holding a fannish position that they’d never considered before, and aren’t particularly eager to be convinced of. I don’t think I’m bad at that uphill climb, it just takes a lot of energy that I don’t often have to begin that journey in the first place. Also, one of these assholes is a certified grade-A torturer, and it’s probably not the one you dislike. Jin Zixun isn’t starting from an insurmountable disadvantage here. 

And see, the thing that got my attention is this: Earlier in this chapter, Wei Wuxian is a little melancholy, thinking about how since the Sunshot Campaign, lots of people are scared of him, hardly anyone is willing to be alone with him, and almost nobody would ever be willing to approach him alone. And here, we get the information that because Jin Zixun was injured early and wasn’t on the front lines of the Sunshot Campaign, he doesn’t know to be afraid. He tried to provoke Wei Wuxian before the hunt, he’s about to keep provoking Wei Wuxian, he’s Jin Zixun and he doesn’t afraid of anything. Yes, he’s about to say some very hurtful things, but I look at that, and I think ‘okay, now how do we recover from this?’ Giving Wei Wuxian someone who just... plain isn’t afraid of him (but is also derailed by me, your author, from taking that to unrecoverable places) would be good for him. Jiang Cheng will antagonize him and isn’t afraid of him, but they also share years of history and are dealing with a lot of other stresses in this situation, and Jiang Cheng is asking things from Wei Wuxian that Wei Wuxian is struggling to provide, and the golden core thing is still hanging between them. Lan Wangji isn’t afraid of Wei Wuxian, but Wei Wuxian parses his concern and worries as antagonism and criticism, and those stress him out in a whole different way. This dynamic, as much as I would have to work to make it happen, would bring something new to the table.

One of my favorite activities is crackshipping with sincerity, and when I poke at this, it genuinely feels like richer territory than it looks at first glance. A lot of the antagonists share some fascinating character notes with our lead, and what’s most interesting to me here is an elevated-but-precarious social position and the various stresses that puts upon our characters. Jin Guangyao is the most obvious example, and Su She echoes it more quietly, with how he struggled within the Lan Sect and eventually left (honestly, kudos to him for him and mianmian to be two of the only characters to realize that their home was hurting them and to leave). Jin Zixun is in a family position that’s close to being brothers with his sect’s heir, but isn’t quite brothers, and is close to the seat of power, but also in a precarious social position if someone acts against him. Jin Guangshan and Madam Jin create a dysfunctional family dynamic to grow up in, where Jin Guangshan’s heart attention strays from his wife, and his wife has beat at least one kid who wasn’t biologically hers in the household.

There’s some common ground, is all I’m saying

I don’t even know what would happen, necessarily, I’m talking this all out here right now, and the interesting part of ships like this is digging in extra deep, and seeing what unexpected thing shakes out. It isn’t quite in the style of the other notable rarepair fics I have managed to write, which tend to follow a paradigm of ‘[person] is floating unmoored from the world, and [love interest] gets them engaged with life again’, but it’s not totally out of line with my interests. Svsss won’t give us more detail about Tianlang-jun? Okay, what happens if I make him hopelessly fond, what happens then? What happens if I properly re-engage his sense of humor? I hardly had anything of substance to go on with Horuss, and that fic is old, but I managed to pull interesting things out of him with Roxy. And I mean... what does happen when Jin Zixun stops self-destructively antagonizing the people around him and starts acting in more neutral ways? Not even positive, I think this relationship is going to have a strong antagonistic component, but what happens if he stops basing his interactions purely on who gets the higher rung on the social ladder?

Now, I do have a problem, which is that plot is something that happens to other people. See also: the reason there has not been a tianlang-jun sequel. I think that it would almost definitely have to do with repairing the situation between Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli and both of them managing to dial it back a LITTLE so as not to completely sabotage their family member’s happiness, and that leading things forward. And in a ridiculous pipe dream that will never be realized, because either possible pov will be completely oblivious, I would also want to include Jin Zixuan’s confused bisexual awakening and his resentful (also confused) attraction towards Wei Wuxian, even if he still ends up with Jiang Yanli, but... wei wuxian isn’t going to notice, and neither is jin zixun, SO. That’s probably right out. And the plot implications would have to be... significant. Setting it post-Sunshot campaign means that the Wen situation is simmering, and any plot that involves me untangling that mess... terrifying! I wouldn’t know where to begin! But like, also. What if I could write this ship in a compelling way. I bet I could do it. Nothing feels as good as the sensation of ‘I have scored points on my own darling readers by convincing them to like something they didn’t want to like’, and usually, I only get that from the second person pov. It would be so hard to write this ship. But also, what if I did it.

[quinnlocke]

Author About Me

tagged by both @mystictrashheap and @foxyena, thanks :)

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

Quinn Locke is my halfling rogue from a D&D campaign I was in with some friends. When I first started publishing fanfic I didn’t want anyone in my real life to find it and only 4 people knew of the character but never remembered her last name so it worked.

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos).

It Was Always You - 237 comments, 4995 hits

Sincerely Yours - 389 kudos, 124 subscriptions, 73 bookmarks

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

A picture of Bokuto and Akaashi from the mange edited to look like they are conspiring together. I chose it cause I love Bokuaka and I seem to write them more than anyone else.

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

I have quite a few regulars and I very much look forward to their comments. I have one who leaves me paragraph long reviews and I honestly tear up a little every time. 

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

Hehehehehe, you do not want to see the hit count for a few fics. I have about 3 or 4 that I always go back to for a quick read to make me smile. 

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

142 bookmarks and I am subscribed to 6 authors

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

It varies, though I seem to always end up falling into the University setting

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

50 user subscriptions (are you kidding me???) and 408 bookmarks. You mean to tell me 50 people get an email that I posted something???

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

There are some pairings I would love to write but worry no one will like, or even worse tell me that its the wrong ship and to ship this instead.

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

Building a proper world and managing to follow that worlds rules. I’d also like to finally figure out how to break up sentence structure and maybe stop using the term “felt like”

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

Popular ships with a couple minor rare pairs thrown into the background

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

20

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

For my own well being I will not even look.

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

both depending on if I feel I absolutely must write it immediately

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

yes and let’s not talk about it thank you very much

16. How did you discover AO3?

Deviant art had some fanfic attached to pictures and then I googled fanfiction for dragon age and lo and behold there it was

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

hardly

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

most people seem to call me quinn, i do not have a name for my readers en masse, i do have nicknames for the people i interact with the most

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

loquaciousquark and rannadylin were the first authors whose work had me hooked in the dragon age fandom. silvercistern is the author who ensured I was trapped in haikyuu forever, if only for the magic of bokuaka. To be honest I am inspired by anyone who wants to write and has a story to tell.

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

Write for you first. If you want to see your two favorite characters meet in a coffee shop and bond over a love of the same book, the write it. If you want to write the au based on that obscure TV show from your childhood, do it. Write what makes you happy first. 

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

Both honestly. I have outlines for long fics and then there are times I just pull a story out of nowhere and go... well here it is.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

Yes, I deleted it and chose to ignore a message sent to me by the person who commented. They criticized my work, then asked to use whatever prompt I had gotten to write my story. The best part was there was no prompt. I came up with the idea on my own. Now, I usually just ignore rude comments and try not to let them bother me. I don’t get many.

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

smut will be the death of me

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

Sincerely Yours, Faded Trees (a tensemi fantasy au), Giving In (long fic planned for the bsd bb), Date Me...For Science! (fake dating au) and a host of other small projects

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

I am always plotting something even if I never end up writing it

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

I don’t even have a goal on the days I do write

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

Good god I hope so!

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

Flowers and Feathers, I wrote it in a day and I can’t help but smile when I see it gets kudos

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

Tale of the Champion(s Heart), because I will never finish it, and it was my first fanfic ever so its full of mistakes and tired tropes. For Haikyuu it would be Six Minutes to Say Goodbye. It was my first Haikyuu fic and it was my first fic after a 4 month long writers block.

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

Probably writing for new fandoms, or at the very least having more fandoms to write for. I doubt I will ever stop writing

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

When you actually hit that groove where all your ideas come together and the words just fucking flow

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

Fucking summaries can go to hell

33. Why do you write?

Because I have stories to share

tagging @talkativelock, @therealmnemo, @rannadylin, and anyone else who wants to get their hands on this