#HIS TONGUE IN THE 13TH CLIP

[rickswh0r3]

babygirl rick grimes💋 he’s to tiny yet so slutty

taglist : @itsgrimeytime @catt-leya @addicted2twd @starkstiless @blazeemma @sinsandsweetness @bloodyglennrhee @cherryvalentine1

[judesmoonbeauty]

My Thoughts & Spoilers On Jude's Route

This will contain detailed major route spoilers. If you do not want to be spoiled, please move on because I will not be filtering my review. Also, not all spoilers and details are being shared. This is intentional. Bear in mind this is written prior to my thoroughly translating his route, so the translation may have some adjustments to this information.

So, I really LOVED it!! It's a very good storyline. Am I biased? Yes. However, whether you're romantically interested in Jude or not, I feel like you'll like in route in general. I do highly recommend reading his and Ellis' Past Records before his route if you can. His route does bring up clips from PR, but it's very minimal and there's a lot of context and extra details in PR that you don't get in this MS. I did my best with this, but my thoughts are still every where, so if it doesn't make sense. My bad.

Tropes: Enemies to Lovers....of sorts?, Slow-burn. Key Side Villain Characters: Ellis, Nica, Victor New Side Characters For His Route: Theodore, Gilbert Murphy, Oswald Simmons Love Language: Physical Touch (I'd just like to say that I called this.) Who Falls in love first: Kate First Kiss: Kate Kisses Jude First Snu-Snu: Chapter 24 Both Premium ends Jude's Fate Tragic End: He will die bearing a grudge against/hating the world. Route CW: Violence, Smoking, CA, Neglect, Mentions of a child's death. Jude's Age: 28-30. Jude's Heritage: Irish-British Jude's Curse: 13th Fairy (An endless cycle of hatred) Jude's Fated End: To die with a hatred/resentment against the world.

Plot: In a nutshell, Kate is trying to find one good thing to like about Jude prior to her term of FTK (fairytale keeper) ending, as per their first promise made together. If she finds one, Jude must fulfill any one request she has. Amidst working for both Crown and Raven, Kate tries to come into her own in terms of standing as Jude's equal, seeing the world as he does, and essentially saving him from not only own his death wish, but from being framed for treason against their country.

My thoughts: Jude's route is very lively, it's got a healthy amount of funny moments, action packed moments, and it's quite wholesome overall. However, it still retains some darkness in the sense of his past, and the fact that he's literally on this tightrope of life and death.

Kate: She is not afraid of voicing her thoughts and feelings, or speaking sarcastically to Jude. I almost died when I read that she stuck her tongue out at him LOL. There's this scene where Ellis tells her she's thinking out loud when she doesn't realize it, so she apologizes. A few minutes later after she greets Theodore, she sees Jude behind him:

Kate: ....And thanks for your hard work too, Jude. Jude: Can ya please stop greet me so sourly? Makes me wanna vomit my mornin' tea. Kate: I wonder if I'm under a curse that'll kill me if I don't say something sarcastically...

So, she is very courageous and gutsy, but she also thinks things through. There are times where she wants to act because she loves Jude and wants to be there for him, but she also knows not to act rashly because her movements can hurt him and Crown, so she opts to bide her time instead.

Out of all of her versions, I think she is the one who gets the most frustrated, the most angry, and laughs the most at certain situations such as getting locked in the office with Jude. She is very optimistic and kind, but not saintly kind.

She is a fighter. She learns self-defense and how to use a gun, a lot this takes place off screen, but she does develop this over time. Which is nice because it's more realistic.

Jude & Kate Relationship: Starts off very rough, and I say it's an enemies to lovers trope, but no one actually hates the other person, they simply don't get a long and it has that vibe. Jude is trying to kick her out of Crown, and Kate is trying to find something she likes about him.

Overall, they bicker and banter a lot. It's cute because in MLE Kate says, "If I say one thing, he has 10 things to say", and in BLE Jude says, "If I say one thing, she's got 10 things to say." They're adorable together.

One scene I loved was when Jude is being attacked by a group of thugs in his office after closing hours, and Kate barges in with her gun. She yells at the men to stop what they're doing, and then she tells Jude to step away from them. And so, Jude and Kate are having this full blown conversation as they're surrounded by these thugs as to why she is at his office, who's fault it is, etc, etc. And when the head thug starts to complain, both Jude and Kate say, "Shut up!" at the same time. This seems like it actually becomes a thing for them, they say it in MLE as well.

Were they childhood friends? No. That was an AU thing only, and a clever misdirection from Cybird. I think key take aways from Dark IF and Prison IF are that they made promises to each other, and that Kate tries to return to little Jude in Prison IF. Additionally, it does hint that two children were involved in Jude's past, just the other wasn't Kate, it's his sister. While some may be disappointed by this, I loved that it turned out this way, it surprised me.

Love Language: Physical. Touch. Lemme say it again. Physical Touch. While their relationship is a slow burn, it's not without it's tension along the way, and the pay off is hella worth in my opinion. I just knew that Jude was going to tear into her, and he does.

But more importantly, Jude touches Kate a lot especially before missions. For example, in BLE just before Kate goes undercover at a criminal organization that is using Raven products, she and Jude are in his office reviewing the plans, and while he does this, he touches her bare skin, kiss or bite her, and then after the mission he'll make love to her. Why? Because Kate made another promise to Jude earlier in the route that she would never die before him, so he doesn't have to suffering loss ever again. So, prior to any missions, he'll touch her up to a certain point like a promise she won't die, and then finish once she returns safely. I can't...he's so damn precious.

They love each other very very much, but Jude doesn't like saying the words. "I love you." Not because he's a tsun, but because they're easily said. So, he'll convey his love to Kate with words like, "I'm taking you to hell with me." If you read his side stories, he'll tell you just how much he loves her, and he admits that there is no other woman in the world that he could ever love like her.

Important Side Characters: Theodore: 21 y/o and he works in the sales department at Raven. Every one calls him Theo, even Kate. It seems that he's worked for Jude for a long time as well. He's very personable, and chatty, and he gets nervous about things like when the president forgets his custom fountain pen as he's on his way to business meetings. He even says to Kate and Jude that Kate is his type, and everyone is like.....um what? I'm really happy that Theodore isn't a traitor. I like him. I thought Cybird would use him the way that contract worker in Jude's first story event would be used. But no, he's just a loyal young man who cares about his job. I hope to see him again.

Oswald Simmons: He is the doctor who treated Jude and his sister after Jude memorized an entire medical textbook in a week. After Jude's sister was sold off, Jude ran to Oswald and asked that if he put Jude through school, let him lodge with him and provide him food, then Jude would pay him back with interest. Oswald agrees and in time, Jude does pay him back with interest. Oswald treats everyone equally, and he finds Jude's intelligence and ability to memorize things amusing. While he does not offer to take Jude in of his own initiative, Oswald does have a soft spot for Jude, as he tries to gift Jude a new pocket watch upon graduation and the success of his new company. He even tries to dissuade Jude from seeking revenge that will only force Jude into be lonely. In the route, he tells Kate to relay a message to Jude, that if he ever gets into a pinch to comeback and he'll give Jude a run for his money. To this day, Oswald still has the watch that Jude refused to take.

I honestly, hope that they reunite one day. Jude doesn't wish Oswald any ill-will (though he calls him a weirdo), and he wished Oswald a long life when he said goodbye.

Gilbert Murphy: He is a high-ranking officer of the British military who colludes with the Privy Council and a criminal organization to frame Jude treason and building military weapons. However, Gilbert truly does think that Jude is going to the moon for monetary purposes. While he is being an asshole for framing my beloved, his motives are to protect the people from potential weapons that can be created with Jude's research. Still, it's sullying Jude's innocent and pure motives. Still, he testifies in Jude's favor and takes the blame of the dead privy council member, as his own form of justice for trying to frame Jude due to his becoming blinded by his obsession to protect his country.

The other villains: Ellis: Ellis is Jude's right hand so he is heavily involved with the plot, especially in MLE. We know about Ellis.

Nica: Darius asks him to investigate Jude, so he does. Twice, he offers information to Jude that he's gathered after he lets him know he's aware of what he's building.. The first time, he tells him that a part from the criminal organization Jude has already been dealing with, the British military want his plans too. And wouldn't it be something if they teamed up to get Jude's research. He asks if he can snatch the robin away from Jude, but Jude says she doesn't belong to him, and no matter whom she dated she belongs to herself.

Nica leaves the bar after getting scolded by Jude, but prior to that, he tells Jude that the robin is in the most danger because she's around him. A few chapters later, Nica appears again and tells Jude that his assumptions based on the previous information given have come true, and because he didn't let go (of Kate), he's letting her know the facts. After he explains the situation to her, he tries to whisk her away on a date, but Kate declines. While Nica is a "playboy", it seems that he does care for Kate's well-being.....I am letting my current knowledge of his past events, and bond stories influence me by saying this.

At any rate, at the end of BLE, Darius asks Nica why he follows his orders so complicitly, and Nica says it's because he's on the winning side, and to him, Darius will be or is the winner. Darius is satisfied with this, and when he leaves Nica looks at his palm and says that he will be the happiest someday. It's already been established that becoming the happiest person is important to him, but this has now been reinforced.

Victor: Lore crumbs are very little, but what we do know is that when Kate asks him if he is angry, he tells her that he's forgotten loneliness a long time ago.

Further, when he approaches Jude and asks if Jude is hiding something from him and Crown, he tells Jude he has the means to help him. Jude asks if Victor isn't the one hiding something, and remarks that's why Harrison hates him so much because he knows he is lying. Victor simply smiles and stays silent. Upon leaving his study, Victor does tell Jude no matter what, he doesn't want their freedom disturbed and those are his true feelings.

Further, Victor later tells Kate in the BLE that when Jude says he abuses his power, Jude wasn't lying about that. Later in chapter 24, all of Crown are gathered together in front of her Majesty the Queen for a very important meeting. Victor speaks saying that they wish to grant Kate the position of fairytale keeper permanently, and when Jude finds out, he leaves angrily. In the middle of all this, the Queen never utters a word.

I don't think we learn anything new that we weren't aware of before with Victor to be honest, unless I missed something while reading. But, it's nice to know that we should see something big for his route. We better for how under wraps his lore is kept.

Jude's age: He can't be any older than 30 because in his Past Records he definitively says that he is five years old. In the MS, Oswald states the events he recounted to Roger and Kate took place over 20 years ago. Kate reason's that if it was 20 years ago then Jude had to be under the age of 10. I think he's 28-30.

Jude's Curse: Jude's curse was born when his heart was completely broken, and he vowed to get revenge on those who made him and his sister suffer. It's manifestation was described as a black flame of hatred in his heart. Essentially, Jude has entered a vicious cycle of hatred that never really ceases. Jude fuels this cycle by acting in a way where people want to get revenge on him, and a part of that is because he want's to die.

Jude's Fated End: Jude is fated to die bearing a grudge/resentment/hatred against the world. Jude himself says that his death will not be an honest one. Some have made comments that his fated end is a bit underwhelming, but I am pleased that Cybird left Disney alone, and stuck with Grimm's ending for the 13th fairy. I love it because no one knows what the fairy was thinking or what happened to it, it just simply disappears. This is something that is mentioned quite a bit in Jude's route.

In the MS there is a beautiful chapter with all of Crown gathered for a fireworks beach day, and while Jude is looking at the fireworks, Kate is looking at him. She thinks he is like a firework, beautiful, dangerous if you get too close, and then simply gone.

In BLE, Kate watches a Sleeping Beauty play hosted by local town children where she is staying and even though she knows that the outcome of the fairy is unknown, she is hoping for a different outcome. When the kids stick to the fairytale, it's then she realizes that Jude too - while still stuck in his cycle of hatred - will die. He will never know happiness, and disappear like the burnt body of cigarette smoke, like a firework in the sky.

In chapter 18ish, while Jude is being held captive and being tortured by the British military for information on Crown, he laughs self-mockingly and says that this is the perfect fit for him to die bearing resentment/grudge against the world.

Is Kate Trying to find a way to break the curse? No. Unlike Alfons and Roger's route, Kate is willing to accept Jude's fate, stay by him, make him happy and be his reason to live. That is her sole purpose, to make sure he doesn't die. Kate is obsessed with keeping him anchored to the world no matter the cost, and she even mentions to Victor that even though no fated ends have ever been avoided, that doesn't necessarily mean they are tragic.

Is Jude happy by the end of the route: Yes. Though he won't admit it out loud being the tsun tsun that he is, Jude's first glimpse of happiness occured when he told Kate about his dream and she didn't laugh at him. By the time he puts her to sleep and leaves her behind, he tells her that being genuinely liked wasn't so bad. And of course, Ellis asks if he can kill Jude in his BLE epilogue because it's obvious that he's happy......Jude tells him he can go die, and Ellis is like okay okay. FR though E, I need you to calm TF down.

The depth of his love for her is so great that he tells her that if she ever tries to run from him, she should just kill him. The reason is because she is his only happiness - she is the moon that he's been trying to reach for so long. He'd have no reason to live if she left him.....

Hmmm, here are some of my favorite parts in his route:

He tries so hard to protect Kate, from throwing her out of a window when a house is on fire and telling her she died in that fire so she wouldn't have to return to Crown, to lying to her and accusing her of making a 10,000 £ mistake and firing her from Raven, and other things.

I love that he even assigned people to watch her secretly after he's left her behind in a seaside town, with the intention of doing so for a long time since she is known throughout London for said involvement with Jude. He says things like, if she can live a calm, normal life, then that's enough for me. So, he's resigned to love her from afar.

He does everything in his power to protect even Crown from getting involved with his research so they aren’t crushed and hated by the privy council or others, even undergoing brutal torture.

Jude promises to make Kate the happiest he can before they go to hell, and there are many, many more things he does to endear me even more to him. I nearly cried when he introduced Kate to his sister at her grave he had made for her, saying she (his unnamed sister), was the only family he had left.

Even though he knows his dream of going to the moon is going to be difficult, he is more determined than ever to achieve it, because he's got two promises to keep.

Ultimately, we have our teasing Jude and Kate kicking ass together, and loving each other until their ends come.

Ugh, I'm gonna make myself cry. Well, this is it in a nutshell. Sorry for rambling!

[trick-r-treat421]

Chapter 1

Riley’s POV:

I was in a surprisingly peaceful sleep when I felt soft fur against my face then the gentle nudge and lick. It’s the morning ritual I’ve grown accustomed to. “Good morning, Hades.” I groggily say to my three-year-old black German Shepherd who has oh so rudely decided it’s time to get up.

I roll over rubbing the sleep from my eyes to see the soft glow of the morning light filtering in through my window. Picking my phone up from the nightstand it reads 7:26 am October 13th. Sighing, I swing my feet to the edge of my bed and proceed to start our normal morning routines.

A short time later I step out onto my back deck to let Hades do his business, my hands wrapped around a steaming cup of coffee. I’m immediately hit with a warm breeze and realize just how comfortable it feels. Pulling my phone from the pocket of my pajama pants, I check the weather app where it predicts it to be an exceptionally warm day. Luckily, it’s one of my days off from my boring, dead-end customer service job. It’s been a major stressor for me lately and I’m ecstatic to avoid that hell hole even if just for today.

I mindlessly scroll random apps as I sip my coffee, enjoying the sun’s rays on my pale skin as my boy gets all his overnight zoomies out. Just as I sip the last of the coffee from my mug, he comes running back up sitting beside me, tongue out, panting. “Hey, handsome boy of mine. I know we usually take walks around the neighborhood on my days off but how’d you like to go to the park instead?” I ask, scratching behind his ear, getting only a gruff woof and tail wag in agreement. “Perfect!” I exclaim before we walk back inside.

I spend a few hours working around the house tidying a bit and starting some laundry while singing (ok more like screaming) and dancing around the cozy bungalow I call my home, all while the songs boom through the Bluetooth speakers. Hades tilted his head or huffed at me occasionally from his oversized dog bed in the living room. “You know you love it!” I tease as I pass by, stopping to give him a few good belly scratches.

I quickly shower before stepping out into the steamy bathroom, grabbing one of my oversized towels from the rack and wrapping it around my small frame. I pull my paddle brush through the tangles that are my shoulder-length black hair, then twist another towel around it, pushing it onto the top of my head and retreating to my room. I fall back onto my queen bed, my arms spreading as I lean back, and stay that way for a while, closing my eyes and preparing myself to venture out.

Eventually, I push myself up and go over to my dresser. I pull out a black thong and lace bralette then a pair of black leggings and my go-to comfy, faded, grey Guns N’ Roses shirt I’ve cut into a crop top. After getting dressed, I return to the bathroom to pull my hair into a low loose ponytail, leaving a few strands out to frame my face. I stare at myself in the mirror above my sink, sighing at the sight but I don’t bother putting on makeup. I’m too tired to care and it’s not like I’m out to impress anyone. Dropping my gaze, I push myself away from the counter and head back towards the kitchen to prepare everything Hades and I will need for the park.

Half an hour later we’re pulling into my favorite park. I reach back to clip on Hades’ leash, grab my crossbody bag from the passenger floorboard, and then exit the SUV. We stop to grab the blanket from the back hatch of my grey 2010 Nissan Xterra before making our way down the sidewalk.

 As expected, the park was alive with the sounds of nature and people out enjoying the weather. It took us a few minutes, but we managed to find a nice shady spot under a tall oak tree that’s adjacent to the large field where people lounge and play. I release Hades and tell him to stay as I work to spread out my black and white buffalo plaid blanket and begin unpacking for a relaxing afternoon.

It didn’t take long before we got comfortable. I lay on my stomach, my legs bent at the knee, casually swinging back and forth through the air. I’ve got my sticker-covered tumbler and a Tupperware full of fresh-cut fruit (ok mostly strawberries) on one side of me. A book was spread in front of me, my eyes skimming over the pages from behind my oversized sunglasses. Hades had posted up near the edge of the blanket on my other side as he went to town on his large red Kong toy, his travel bowl full of water next to him.

I’d lost track of time, completely caught up in my reading, most of my fruit picked over and eaten. Hades had long given up on his toy and was almost asleep when suddenly he perked up giving a slight huff. Figuring he saw a squirrel or something, I failed to see the large shadow pass over me as a sudden pain shoots into the left side of my ribs and something heavy fell over top of me, Hades darting away from his position. Whatever it is landed with a thud in front of Hades, water splashing everywhere in the process. I quickly began to shake the water from the pages of my book before any damage could be done.

“Ouch! What the fu…” I begin to exclaim, but my words come up short as my eyes fall onto this dazed, dark-haired man lying across me and my blanket.

He slowly pushes himself up onto his elbows, putting his shirtless and heavily tattooed chest on full display, droplets of water sliding down and glistening in the afternoon light. I thank God for these sunglasses hiding my eyes as I gawk at this stranger’s toned body. I shake my head and slowly take in the scene, realizing his long legs are still stretched across my back and one of his elbows rests halfway in Hades’ water bowl.

Eventually, my eyes make it back to his face where I’m greeted with a strong, sharp jawline peppered with the beginnings of some facial hair and mesmerizing deep chocolate-brown eyes. I’m brought back to reality when Hades is suddenly at the man’s side dropping a frisbee I hadn’t even noticed onto his lap. I can’t help but let out a laugh at the situation and the fact I was letting myself get lost in this stranger’s looks, no matter how handsome he may be. “I think Hades is returning your frisbee to you.” I state matter of factly. Despite his size and intimidating looks, he was quite a gentle giant. Thanks a lot bud, so much for protecting me.

Noah’s POV:

I have no idea what happened, but one second I was running full speed and the next I found myself lying flat on my back staring at the brightly colored tree canopy above me.

I let out a groan and begin to push myself up onto my elbows. Feeling something wet on one of my arms, I look over to see my elbow in a water bowl. I begin taking in the rest of my surroundings and find I’m on someone’s picnic blanket. Just then I see something dark in my peripheral vision and the frisbee I’d been running to catch drops in my lap.

I hear a feminine laugh as my eyes dart up, noticing my legs are laid across the back of a petite raven-haired woman who had been stretched out on said blanket. I hear her words as I look down to the frisbee in my lap, then to the big furry black mass standing to my right. That must be whose water bowl my elbow is resting in.

I hurriedly remove my legs and scramble to my knees, the frisbee falling from my lap while putting my hands up in case this dog decides to attack. Again, I hear the sound of her laughter drawing my eyes to her full, slightly red tinted lips. Slowly she sits up crisscrossing her legs in front of her, her crop top riding up a little to reveal a tattoo on her side as she rubs at her ribs. A few more are sprinkled on her arms.

“Don’t worry, he may look ferocious, but he’s really a big baby.” With the motion of her free hand I watch as the large dog returns to the girl’s side and lays against her, eyes closing, tongue out as he soaks up her head pats.

I breathe out a sigh of relief as I sit back on my heels and brush my hands down my star covered sweat shorts nervously and let out a slight chuckle. “Good to know, cause I was about to high tail it out of here and hope—Hades was it?—didn’t catch me!” I respond. “Hey, sorry about all of this, though.” I start as I wave my hand around us.

She lifts her sunglasses revealing stunning icy blue/grey almond-shaped eyes as she takes in the now wet and twisted blanket. Sucking in a breath I try to offer, “My buddies and I were just tossing the frisbee around and I guess I let my competitive nature get the best of me.  I wasn’t paying attention, and you see where that got me.”

As if on cue my friends, Jolly and Nick, come jogging over taking in the scene and thankfully ending my nervous rant. “What you mean on the ground beside a pretty lady?” Nick waggles his eyebrows as he smirks before asking, “Are you two good?”

Jolly jumped in with, “That looked like quite a fall, man.”

I chuckle lightly before I answer, “Yeah I’m good, but I’ll probably feel it in the morning.” I clear my throat a little remembering the stunning girl and her dog sitting across from me. “Umm are you okay…?” I ask, pausing since I don’t know her name.

Picking up on the pause she answers, “Riley. Yeah, I think I’ll be okay. Might have a bruise in the next couple of days but I’ll deal.”

A pang of guilt washes over me for hurting her but I give a crooked smile. “I’m Noah, these are my friends Jolly and Folio,” I say pointing to each of the guys.

She nods her head slightly at each of the guys, giving a polite smile and wave. It suddenly becomes abundantly clear we are invading her space, as the awkward silence grows between us all. I move to stand tucking the frisbee under my arm and giving the guys a nod, each taking a few steps back in understanding, Jolly looking over his shoulder to find where our roommates dog, Harper, is playing. “We should probably leave you be, you seemed to have been enjoying your reading when I tripped over you.” I say as I glance down at the abandoned book laid out on the blanket.

Shrugging, she responds with, “I was but I’d lost track of time, and we actually need to be heading out.” With that she stands, Hades whining slightly, and begins picking up her belongings and packing them back into her bag.

I look down at the mess I’ve made of her space, everything scattered about, so I quickly lean down, picking up her book. I offer it to her as I ask “Are you sure you’re alright? Can I help you carry anything?”

She takes the book, my eyes drawn to where she chews on her lip, thinking it over. After some hesitation Riley nods. “You really don’t have to, but I might need a hand with the blanket. I can never get them folded up easily on my own, and I’ve got to be able to hold his leash as we walk.” She motions over to Hades who tilts his head sideways at the mention of leash.

With a small chuckle I call out a “heads up!” to Folio, who’s now walking away with Jolly before tossing him the frisbee and reaching to pick up the blanket. I shake it out then do my best to fold it before draping it over my arm as she picks up her remaining belongings.

After a moment and her commands to Hades, we walk back towards the parking lot in another slightly awkward silence. Coming to a stop at the back of an Xterra, she starts digging for her keys and unlocks the doors. She takes Hades to the back passenger door allowing him to jump inside before unhooking his leash and telling him to stay then returning to the back where I stand.

“Thank you for helping with that and walking me back.” She says, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and staring down at the asphalt before taking the blanket and placing it in the back hatch.

“No problem. It was the least I could do after crashing into you like I did.” I shrug, earning a small, cute giggle from her.

After another moment of silence she shifts on her feet, bringing her eyes up to meet mine and extending her hand before saying with a playful tone, “Well, it was nice to meet you Noah, wish I could say it was under better circumstances though.”

I take her hand, noticing just how small it feels in mine before lightly shaking it and saying, “You too Riley.” With that I drop her hand and move to the sidewalk as she walks to her driver’s door. Turning back, I give a salute as she starts the SUV and I head back to the guys.

The moment I walk up, Folio raises his eyebrow asking, “What was that all about Casanova?”

I shrug running my hand through my shoulder-length hair. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” They both let out a laugh.

It’s Jolly’s turn to pipe up now, his slight Swedish accent coming through. “Bullshit Noah, you’ve still got a goofy grin plastered on your face and the way you were looking at her… it’s obvious you thought she was attractive.”

Folio chimes in again, “Tell us you at least got her number…”

I don’t bother responding before grabbing the frisbee out of his hands and jogging away. I silently kick myself for not thinking about that. We stay for another hour or so before leaving, my mind wandering to Riley quite often through the night.

P.S. I don't own the rights to any of these photos, they were all found on Pinterest or a Google image search.

I hope you enjoyed this. It's been quite a while since I even tried writing something for others to read so sorry if it's not up to your standards. It may start out slow but I promise there's some good things to come.

Huge shout out to @crimson-calligraphyx for encouraging and helping me with this.

[atlas-affogato]

Two Year Update

Alright, I'm a little off the exact two year mark, but life got in the way, so here's my update a few days late!

Two years ago I started writing for Jackie Chan Adventures, and last year I did a little update on the progress of my main work, so I thought it would be fun to do that again, with all of my projects. I think its fun to break it down, so hopefully you also find it interesting!

Click here for my published works

Main Work/Long Fic

My largest project by far is a multi part fanfic spanning 10 years that I have dubbed my "long fic" (because I have yet to fully settle on a title.) It centers Finn and his relationships with Chow and Ratso—along with his affair with Valmont—and chronicles the rise of The Dark Hand's power, into canon, and post canon. It takes a more grounded view of The Dark Hand and gang life and is in general much darker than canon.

Current progress as of September 13th 2024:

Parts of main work: 3

Works within series: 11

Total word count: 308,087

Main work: 295,671 Finn backstory: 7,288 Ratso fluff: 719 *spoiler title*: 1,247 Ratso and his dad: 399 Ratso high school: 528 Missing scene at bar: 810 Extra smut collection: 397 Jackie and Captain Black: 211 *spoiler title*: 273 Chow missing scene: 544

Document count: 28 and counting

I am currently: editing!

I have made it into the editing phase! Progress has been unfortunately slow due to how much more complicated editing is versus writing, along with fighting my ADHD to do the boring bits lol. I write out of order which means a large part of editing is de-tangling the clips and snippets I write and getting them in an order I'm satisfied with. But, it is a necessary evil, so I persevere.

I have started and continue to idly work on a host of ideas, cycling through them as inspiration strikes. Some of these I am more committed to than others, but I do hope to finish them all eventually.

works with a + are the ones I am focusing on at the moment. This is of course subject to change.

Multi-Chapter WIPs:

Pink Pony Club – Finn/Ratso, Explicit, Go Go Dancing au, 80s, word count: 3,763 + Unnamed Gas Station AU – Finn/Ratso, Explicit, Gas Station au, Modern au, word count: 10,564 + Accompanying gas station AU fic – Finn/Ratso, Teen, word count: 2,060 A Gangster's Guide to Child Rearing – Gen, Teen, Accidental Child Acquisition, word count: 10,281 Ellis and Hyde – Finn/Valmont, Chow/Ratso, Explicit, Hooker au, word count: 6,829 Sonata in D Minor K. 9 – Finn/Valmont, Explicit/Mature, Pianist au, Age Gap, word count: 754 *I need to do SO much research on this one. I don't know shit about piano Unnamed Rockstar AU – Finn/Ratso, Mature, Rockstar au, word count: 595 Unnamed High School AU – Finn/Ratso, Teen, High School au, word count: 1,760 Unnamed Wedding Modern AU – Finn/Ratso, Teen, Modern au, Meet Cute, Fake Dating, word count: 2,931 Unnamed Chat Message Fic – Finn/Ratso, Mature(?), AOL Messenger, Humor, 90s, word count: 1,080 Unnamed Smut fic – Finn/Chow, Explicit, trans!Finn, genital switch, word count: 539 Unnamed Smut fic – Chow/Finn/Ratso, Explicit, Getting Together, Bi Finn, word count: 1,859

One-Shots:

Unnamed Catboy Smut fic – Finn/Chow, Explicit, catboy!Chow, word count: 431 + Unnamed AU – Chow/Finn/Ratso, Teen, They Grew Up Together au, 80s, word count: 5,646 Water in my Lungs, Words on my Tongue – Chow/Finn/Ratso, Teen, Soulmates au, Character Study, word count: 3,176 Unnamed Aftercare fic – Finn/Ratso, Mature, aftercare, word count: 817 Unnamed Smut fic – Finn/Ratso, Explicit, handcuffs, word count: TBD Unnamed Truth Serum fic – Chow/Finn/Ratso, Mature, Truth Serum, Established Relationship, word count: 1,502 Unnamed Babysitting fic – Chow/Finn, General Audiences, Pre-Relationship, Babysitting, word count: 208 Real sweet, but I wish you were sober – Finn/Ratso, Teen, College au, Pining, word count: 4,470 Unnamed Cruising Gym fic – Chow/Finn, Explicit, Smut, Public Sex word count: TBD

I have a few more smut ideas, but I'm keeping those on the back burner until I finish more projects.

Kinktober

So, I know Kinktober is supposed to be a one month challenge and if you don't finish it then oh well, but...I am too attached to these prompts and ideas. I will keep working on them, and I will keep calling it Kinktober since that's what it started as, and I will post them when I can, no matter how long it takes.

This is the list I am currently working with, and most of these I have started, I just need to sit down and work on them. I am still mulling over ideas for the last two chapters, but I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

Current word count across all unfinished prompts is sitting at: 15,364

Conclusion

Total projects: 23

Total individual works: 34

Works started: 32

Works to be started: 2

Kinktober prompts started: 21

Kinktober prompts to be started: 4

Kinktober prompts to be decided: 2

Grand total word count: 372,152

If you are wondering why the hell I start a million projects before finishing even one...I don't know what to tell you, I follow the inspiration. I enjoy writing, so I do what I find fun, even if it comes back to bite me in the ass later lol. I want to finish these ideas and get them out into the world, so I am going to work towards that goal, no matter how slow my progress may seem.

I have really been enjoying this fandom, my love and appreciation goes out to every single person here, all of you! Your art, meta posts, memes, fics, gif sets, videos, photo dumps, and likes and reblogs all mean the world to me and I'm grateful to be in such a nice community with such dedicated fans. I love yall! Thanks for reading!

[musesofawolf]

13th-dragon-prince - [Prior]

This was not Ul’dah, the merchants they would speak too would be those of Revenant’s Toll, already well knowing of the scaled fool’s penchant for lacking cloth or interest in the chill. They would know him for blades of teeth and friendly laughter with hatchlings. He was no ‘sunblinked mind’ of a ‘foreign Au Ra’ like when they had first arrived in The Source. Again the hand was waved, claws tapping against the metal of wolfish decorations, and the lizard made for that plumed mount as ever before, apparently no qualms to the idea of heading to market despite his vocal distaste.

︻デ═一・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Bryn was still chewing the jerky when that blue tongue stuck out teasingly, and he snorted in response to it, finishing off the food as he glanced towards Featherflame, at least until there was a disgruntled noise, and Whillow spoke.

The way he clipped "market", the roll of his eyes, it was clear he didn't approve of it, or liked it. Bryn had half a mind to ask why, but it was answered before he could, his lips twitching slightly at the mention of smells, sounds, and lies. Maybe he thought bartering was lying? Or truly believed the vendors were hiding something. Dull teeth... Wonder if I'm in that group.

He placed a hand on Featherflame, watching the little gecko cross his arms, slap that tail, and assume a disgruntled air. As if in memory. Which made Bryn's mind wander too.

He remembered the first time he had held a coin purse, felt the weight of gil in his hand and...nearly salivated over it. Growing up poor, with barely enough to survive when he was too weak to provide for himself, had left him with an odd sense of money. For a long time, he spent every gil he had, the salary he made with the Maelstrom flying out of his fist as soon as it hit it. And it took years, years of learning, of finally coming to grips with having gil - and a healthy dose of lectures from an Elezen friend - before he actually kept a surplus. Tucked away, hidden, in case of emergency.

The chuff of air, the narrowing of silver eyes, it made Bryn refocus, come out of the trance of memory just in time for the wave of clawed hands, and the press of one to his belly. His eyes flicked down, to the touch, wondering what it was for, or, wondering if it was to check his fullness. Could the little dragon know that just from a touch?

Although, the declaration of not needing gil did raise the question of who, or how, Whillow got food, or cloth - Oh, right. He didn't wear clothes. And with his natural hunting ability, perhaps he didn't actually need the market.

The other half though... He frowned, deeply, his eyes flickering a deeper silver, an angry silver, as he growled under his breath, shaking his head. "Anyone gives you a look like you are property, let me know. I will be happy to remind them that you are off limits."

It was with that thought in his mind that he swung himself onto Featherflame, lost in thought as he situated himself, waited for Whillow to mount as well, and then head off.

And of course, Whillow made sure the ride back was...as interesting as the one out. With a slightly flushed face, Bryn was petting Featherflame, already off her and draping her reigns over the hitching post, a few tied chocobo giving the red one envious looks as she preened like she was better than everyone else, and once he was certain she was situated, he was moving, heading towards the market and trusting the absolute tease of a dragon would follow.

The first of three stops was simple: selling the dragon teeth. The teeth themselves were not what drew a bounty, but the proof that the dragon's they once belonged to were dead. Handing them over to a specialty merchant who, after a brief description of where he could find the carcasses to collect any materials he might need, handed back two bags of gil (one decidedly larger than the other), and Bryn turned back with both, ready to split and give half to Whillow, only to be reminded by the gecko's acute lack of interest in what he was doing that he did not care for the coin of Eorzea.

Looking between the sizeable amount they had both just earned, he pocketed them, and then fixed Whillow with a stare, rumbling out as he moved towards the next stall he would call on. "Tell me, if you do not want coin, then what would you prefer instead? You helped bring down one of the dragons, and that means you deserve a payment beyond just your meal. So, by the time we leave the market, tell me what you would like, and I will give it to you." Nodding, he moved on, content to let the little lizard think on what he wanted his prize to be.

It was, in all aspects, a short trip to the market, Bryn swinging by two well known stalls to pick up a set of darker clothes, a coat similar to the one he wore, but in a deeper, darker black, forgoing a new shirt since the navy blue was perfect for the dark of night. However, if he was to truly hide...

For a few minutes, he was haggling, going back and forth with the stall owner over a thick, wide, well cut pelt of ink black fur. It was easily three times the size of the Hyur, clearly meant for a large bed, and the price for it was not cheap. But it was worth it, he figured, for the temporary use, and for cold nights on the road.

He finally got the vendor to agree to a more reasonable price, and he collected the large pelt, rolled nicely, after handing over the necessary coin, humming softly as he turned back to find out where, and what, the little dragon was doing in the place he clearly did not enjoy.

[bizarrequazar]

GJ and ZZH Updates — November 13-19

<<< previous week || all posts || following week >>>

This is part of a weekly series collecting updates from and relating to Gong Jun and Zhang Zhehan.

This post is not wholly comprehensive and is intended as an overview, links provided lead to further details. Dates are in accordance with China Standard Time, the organization is chronological. My own biases on some things are reflected here. Anything I include that is not concretely known is indicated as such, and you’re welcome to do your own research and draw your own conclusions as you see fit. Please let me know if you have any questions, comments, concerns, or additions. :)

[Glossary of names and terms] [Masterlist of my posts about the situation with Zhang Zhehan]

11-13 → Gong Jun’s studio posted a photo of him with a border collie. (1129 kadian) Caption: “Dear passengers, the #Gong Jun’s very wonderful November# time train has now arrived at the 13th station 「Train conductor @ Gong Jun Simon played hide and seek behind the dog, the dog pretended not to see him and turned back proudly smiling」, all passengers, please sit tight and hold on, the station ahead is _______.”

→ Gong Jun’s studio posted a commercial for Honor. “Exactly what kind of surprise meal made @ Gong Jun Simon say bashi* directly? Boss's new mobile phone #Glory80# series is about to debut, look forward to the real bashi together!” [subbed video] *A pun playing off “excellent” in Sichuan dialect being homophonous with “80”.

11-14 → Honor posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun, announcing him as the global ambassador for their new model.

→ Gong Jun’s studio posted six photos (1129 kadian) from the same day as the photos he posted himself on 11-12. Caption: “Dear passengers, the #Gong Jun's very wonderful November# time train has now arrived at the 14th station 「Conductor @ Gong Jun Simon Unwanted Materials Recycling Station* (Weibo version)」, all passengers, please sit tight and hold on, the station ahead is _______.” *The name of his studio’s Douyin account.

→ Honor posted a douyin of an outtake from the commercial of him being given a tongue twister playing on the “bashi” pun. [subbed video]

→ The Instagram posted a photo of “Zhang Zhehan” with a group of people, including Susu and “Xiao Yu.” There’s a whole host of issues with the photoshopping in this photo.

Since he’s decided to bring himself into the picture again, here’s a couple updates on Susu: He posted a photo of himself with “Xiao Yu” last week, except “Xiao Yu” is half a head shorter than the real Xiao Yu. Also, his Bilibili account had fallen from 288 paid subscribers to 70, and his livestreams are only averaging at a few hundred viewers. I wonder why he would be wanting to draw more traffic towards himself, hm? At the time of this post, his subscriber count has risen to 172.

11-15 → Honor posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun.

→ #ZhangZhehan trended on Twitter.

→ Gong Jun’s studio posted a photo (1129 kadian, 51129 with the date) of him filming a douyin from 2021-08-28, the day of the infamous passionfruit coffee livestream. [clips] (This was also the livestream with the ring flash, 28:30 in the video.) Caption: “Dear passengers, the #Gong Jun's very wonderful November# time train has now arrived at the 15th station. 「The train conductor @ Gong Jun Simon is working hard to prove that the corner of the mouth can also be a smiling face and leave evidence」, all passengers, please sit tight and hold on. The station ahead is _______.”

11-16 → Nine different Weibo accounts posted photos and videos of “Zhang Zhehan” at an airport, with none mentioning a source for this footage. Their IDs show wildly different locations, meaning that no more than one of them could have taken it themselves. (ie. They’re fake.)

→ Honor posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun.

→ Colgate posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun.

→ #TheRealZhangZhehan trended on Twitter. (The theme for the day was his boobs. 🙏)

→ A second anti whom Gong Jun sued for slander last July had his apology letter published in People’s Court Daily. [context and translation] 40,000 RMB was also paid by the anti as compensation, which Gong Jun said will be given to charity.

→ Gong Jun’s studio posted a photo (1129 kadian) of him from the SuperELLE photoshoot released on 03-29. Caption: “Dear passengers, the  #Gong Jun’s very wonderful November# time train has arrived at the 16th station 「The train conductor @ Gong Jun Simon uses the ground as a seat, dreaming by the sea」, all passengers, please sit tight and hold on, the station ahead is _______.” 

→ 361° posted a video featuring Gong Jun with a samoyed in behind the scenes footage from their current ad campaign. (18:31, 1129 and 511 kadian)

→ Hsu Fu Chi posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun.

→ The Instagram posted two videos of “Zhang Zhehan” singing from the same night that the previous photo was taken. These videos had been “leaked” on Weibo earlier in the week. Fan Observations:   -  The singing doesn’t sound like him.  -  [Here] is a moment where you can see the deepfake glitch.  -  The restaurant these were filmed in is the same one as the photos from 2020-03-27 of Zhang Zhehan holding a moon lamp, where CPFs got the association between him and the moon from.

→ The brand posted a notice on WeChat about a VIP event requiring people to pay a minimum of 20k RMB and submit their personal informaton (including passport information) in order to be entered into the selection process. Fan Observations:  -  That information required is exactly how people get blackmailed, doxxed, and have their identities stolen. Some whalers have thankfully clued into this.  -  The date of the event is 11-23, the anniversary of CAPA’s 9th immoral artists list that Zhang Zhehan’s name was included on.  -  It does not say anywhere in the notice that Zhang Sanjian will be present for the event.  -  “Selection process” raises the possibility that the “winners” will be hired fake fans along the same lines as the fanmeet in July.

→ Roving Inspection Team deleted all of its previous posts, replacing them with a post promoting a new anti-American drama supposedly in the works.

11-17 → Gong Jun’s studio posted two behind the scenes photos (1129 kadian) from a Cosmo photoshoot released on 2021-11-29. Caption: “Dear passengers, the #Gong Jun’s very wonderful November# time train has arrived at the 17th station. 「The train conductor @ Gong Jun Simon will start working in one second.」 Passengers please sit tight and hold on. The station ahead is _______.” Fan Observation: The blurred out phone(?) in the first photo was possibly displaying a photo from the Word of Honor concert.

→ 361° posted a short commercial featuring Gong Jun.

11-18 → 361° posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun.

→ Gong Jun’s studio posted three photos (1129 kadian) of him from an ad campaign for Honor released on 2021-11-25. Caption: “Dear passengers, the #Gong Jun’s very wonderful November# time train has arrived at the 18th station. 「The camera of the train conductor @ Gong Jun Simon is always ready, if you are not careful, you will be in the mirror.」 Passengers please sit tight and hold on, the station ahead is _______.”

→ BEAST posted a teaser video (1129 kadian) featuring Gong Jun for a new product line releasing on 11-29. Caption: “Do you remember? Our agreement  20221129, find the way home together.” 

→ Honor posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun.

11-19 → Gong Jun’s studio posted four photos of him (1129 kadian) from the 11-01 L’Oreal livestream. Caption: “Dear passengers, the #Gong Jun’s very wonderful November# time train has arrived at the 19th station, 「When the conductor was forced to become an ama- (fǎn) -teur (jiáo) paint- (dá) -er (rén) @ Gong Jun Simon heard some unrealistic compliments about himself」, passengers, please sit tight and hold on, the station ahead is _______.” This was reposted by MUJOSH.

→ BEAST posted a short video (1129 kadian) of an exhibit for their upcoming line at the Xintiandi Style outdoor plaza, including a large public screen that was displaying photo ads featuring Gong Jun. They later also posted photos of this exhibit.

→ Kangshifu posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun.

→ Honor posted a short commercial featuring Gong Jun.

→ QuelleVous posted that the slogan the Sanjian name comes from (堅持，堅信，堅強 / perservere, believe, be strong) came from a fan in Zhang Zhehan’s official fanclub last December, who was among a number who had been contacted by Xie Yihua and agreed to work with her.

→ Addition 11-20: Fans in Tainan paid for a public screen to display a video of Gong Jun for his birthday (also with some clips including including Zhang Zhehan).

Additional Reading: → Not directly related but good context: On Wednesday, it was reported that police in Jiangxi shut down a water army company composed of ten people, who had made a total of almost 1 billion RMB (over $140 million USD) through their operations. The company had been masquerading as a media company—quite a few of the people known to be related to Zhang Zhehan’s situation own media companies. → Sheena’s charity drive for Gong Jun’s birthday is still ongoing until the end of the month, with by now over 20 giveaways open to people who donate! At the time of this post 74,861 HKD ($9570 USD / 68,141 RMB) has been raised! → I’ve begun archiving Twitter links included in this and my previous posts as a failsafe in case Elon fully shits the bed. The breakdown posts relating to Zhang Sanjian have been fully backed up.

<<< previous week || all posts || following week >>>

This post was last edited 2022-11-20.

[shitpostingkats]

Organization XIII, ranked by their titles

Roxas: The Key of Destiny Nice and epic. The good double meaning that he wields the key, yet also is the key to the organization plans, turned and manipulated to unlock a door with no will of his own. The organization sees him as the key to their destiny, but really, Roxas is the key and the bearer, and through his arc, learns to be the keeper of his own fate. 1000/10

Demyx: The Melodious Nocturne Rolls off the tongue in a pleasant way. You might think, “what the heckity is a nocturne? It sounds cool as heck.” Well, a nocturne is (what a surprise), a musical term. But specifically, it is a word used in both art and music, to describe a piece evocative of night. A cool sounding term for a fantasy character that, when you google it, actually means something interesting and thematically relevant? what a rarity/10

Larxene: The Savage Nymph Now, the usage of ‘nymph’ might take some points off this one, being more befitting a character with nature powers, like Marluxia. Or, she could be using nymph in the more entomological definition, meaning young insect, like a wasp or a hornet, something with a bit more ‘sting’ to it. The real confusion of the second part keeps her from the top slot, but the delicious zeugma of the first half makes up for it. #savage/10

Axel: Fury of the Dancing Flames Ooh. What a wonderful epithet. There’s such a nice prose to it, not found in any other members of the evil squad. On top of that, it covers all the bases that we as the audience need to know about Axel. What is he? Angy. How will he express that? Fire. Like, boring, non-dancing fire? Nope. Sick-as-hell dancing fire. Axel should get to dance too tho/10

Xaldin: The Whirlwind Lancer I’ll say, I tried to keep personal opinions of the characters out of this ranking. It’s pure coincidence that some of my favorites have the dopest names. And nothing proves that more than Xaldin’s placement here. Do I like this man? Nah. But, I have to admit, his bossfight in Two is really artful. Someone had to sit down and ask themselves “How do we make the wind intimidating?” And their core concept started with a whirlwind, lances, and terrible sideburns. The sideburns didn’t make it into the name, and thank the stars for that. But the rest is very nicely menacing. 7/10

Xemnas: Superior of the In-Between Another name that says what it does on the tin. Xemnas is constantly getting referred to as “The Superior” instead of everyone just calling him “boss” like a normal person. It’s got more than a hint of over-dramatic edginess to it. But that is one of the reasons we love Kingdom Hearts. Same thing goes for the audacity Xemans has to call him realm “The In-Between”, which sounds way better than “Our neo-neo-gothic nightmare pocket dimension with Escher-esque skyscraper clipping” drama queen/10

Zexion: The Cloaked Schemer “Cloaked” and “Schemer” describe approximately 90% of the organization. It’s like if your job description at the office was “Guy who has hair and opinions”. Zexion isn’t even the schemer-iest egg in the carton! Fine name in most other evil friendgroups, just not this one. come on Zexion you can do better than this/10

Vexen: The Chilly Academic I really appreciate that, despite roughly 4/13ths of this emo dream team having a background in science, Vexen is the academic. No one else. Nope, not even those three other guys who worked in the same lab as you. Nah Vexen, science is your thing, we’re not gonna step on your gimmick. Like we’ve come to expect, 'Chilly’ here pulls double duty as both a literal descriptor of his powers and a more metaphorical adjective about the villains temperament. Though, I don’t know it you can in good faith call someone who spends so much of his screen time either shrieking or giggling “chilly”. 5/10 

Saix: The Luna Diviner You know, I always thought Saix’s title was the lunar diviner, but nope, I’m looking at the wiki right now. It says Luna. Which kinda cuts the pacing of the title right through the gut. I much prefer his japanese title, Demonic Dancing In The Moon, which has the benefit of 1) Matching with Axel, and 2) Being metal as hell. Also, diviner??? When has Saix ever delivered a single prediction in the entirety of the series, other than the usually correct “I am going to go absolutely apeshit now”, which any good scientist will know, is a variable controlled by the tester and thus, suffers greatly from confirmation bias. moon moon/10

Luxord: The Gambler of Fate Most of these epithets follow a very simple pattern; adjective, what-they-bring-to-the-company. Roxas breaks the rules because he’s important, Xemnas does it because he’s the CEO, and Axel does it because he is simply The Best Boy. But nowhere, in any game we have received so far, is there reason to believe Luxord is special enough to similarly defy the mold. We didn’t even know how his regular name was pronounced until kh3!!! Luxord smacks of someone who doesn’t know how much of a background character he really is. I mean, come on, the gambler of fate? Mi amigo, you show up twice and keel over to a child beating you at go-fish. We’re not exactly dealing with the grand machinations of the cosmos here. Nomura, if you give me reason to, I will consider adjusting this rank/10

Xigbar: The Freeshooter Again with shirking conventions! However, I will give credit where credit is due, Xigbar seems to have the narrative weight to deserve it. Which is where my actual complaint comes in: you go out of your way to stand out from the pack, and the best you can come up with is freeshooter? Boring. No pizazzle, no flamboyant adjectives, just blunt as lead and twice as clunky. Man is a hundreds year old ceiling dwelling sniper with an eyepatch and a surfer accent, there’s gotta be something more interesting than freeshooter. Xigbar I had such high hopes for you/10

Marluxia: The Graceful Assassin  Graceful, I’ll give you. No one goes harder on the pastel instagram aesthetic than Marluxia. But ‘assassin’ seems a weird choice. Especially for the guy who was put in charge of hiring new assets (Sora) to the Council of Depressed Queers. That is literally the opposite of assassinating. I mean, Axel’s killed like three of his coworkers, and this femme king gets to be called the assassin? I’m sorry my gay, but pink glitter and a weird mech does not instantly make you a bringer of death. let Marluxia commit homicide/10

Lexaeus: The Silent Hero/The Taciturn Stalwart Dude has a completely different title in Remix and no one noticed because he’s just that Boring. 0/10

[snowonthebeachmp3]

July 2016

Jul 3rd - Taylor's 4th of July festivities kick off at her Rhode Island house. Guests include Tom Hiddleston, Abigail Anderson, Matt Lucier, Claire Winter, Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Karlie Kloss, Josh Kushner, Austin Swift, Ruby Rose, Harley Gusman, Halston Sage, Gigi Hadid, Cara Delevingne, Britany Maack, Ben LaManna, Martha Hunt, Jason McDonald, Uzo Aduba, Chioma Aduba, Jordan Masterson, Kesha, St Vincent, Ed Sheeran, Cherry Seaborn, Rachel Platten, Kennedy Rayé and the Haim sisters. (x) (x) (x) (x)

This is the day Tom wears the infamous 'I <3 TS' tank top while they're all at the beach. (x)

Jul 4th - The online mockery for the 'I <3 TS' shirt is quick to pour in. Daily Mail commenters are yet to shut up about it in 2021.

The party continues with a giant inflatable waterslide, body painting, karaoke, charades and fireworks. (x) And also Kesha and Haim getting tricked by Cara, Uzo and Ruby into thinking they heard scary noises in the night, and trying to call the police but not knowing their own location. (x) (x)

Jul 5th - The day after the party, when all the guests post their photos online.

Britany posts a photo of her & Ben, Blake & Ryan, and Taylor & Tom. (x) The internet has a field day with Ryan's unimpressed facial expression. (x) (Ryan later says that it's just his resting bitch face as he wasn't aware a photo was being taken. (x))

Taylor posts several photos to Instagram of her celebrating the 4th July with friends, but doesn't post any pictures with Tom. (x)

Claire Winter posts a bunch of Polaroids, including one of Taylor and Tom kissing. (x)

Abigail posts a photo to Instagram showing the banners Taylor put up to celebrate her engagement to Matt and the anniversaries of Cara & St Vincent (real name Annie Clark) and Ed & Cherry. (x)

Jul 6th - Taylor and Tom fly out of Rhode Island (x) and arrive at LAX that evening. (x) They then get on a plane to Australia.

Joe attends the Warner Music Group summer party in London. (x)

Rumours are swirling that Tom is no longer in consideration to be the next Bond, due to his relationship with Taylor. (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

Jul 8th - Taylor and Tom are flying on a commercial Quantas flight so someone is able to take a pic of them on the plane. (x)

According to another passenger on the plane, Taylor plays Scrabble during the flight (presumably on her phone because nobody takes big physical board games on commercial flights and the creepshot of Hiddleswift on the plane suggests she wouldn't have had anywhere to put the board anyway). In hindsight, knowing how Taylor and Joe play lots of Scrabble together including online Scrabble aka Words With Friends, and how they stayed in touch largely via texting that summer, it’s very possible she was playing against Joe.

Taylor and Tom arrive in Sydney, where Tom is about to start filming for Thor: Ragnarok. (x) Aussie media, including daytime TV, goes nuts over Hiddleswift's arrival in the country. (x)

Flying from LA to Australia involves crossing the international dateline, so they would have left the US on the 6th July local time and arrived in Sydney approx 15 hours later on the 8th July local time.

Calvin's new song Olé, written for John Newman, is released. There is speculation that it's a Hiddleswift song, written from Tom's perspective and containing lyrics implying that Taylor cheated on Calvin with Tom. However, sources also told multiple outlets that the song was written and recorded months earlier, and its supposed links to Hiddleswift were just for publicity. (x) (x)

Jul 9th - Tom goes out for a run (x) and avoids answering questions about Taylor. (x)

Jul 10th - Taylor and Tom go out for dinner to Gemelli Italian restaurant in Broadbeach on Australia's Gold Coast. (x)

Jul 11th - Taylor is named as the highest earning celebrity on the 2016 Forbes Celebrity 100 list, with earnings of $170m mostly due to the 1989 World Tour. If she and Calvin had not split up, they would have been the top-earning celebrity couple. (x)

Jul 12th - Taylor visits Lady Cilento Children’s Hospital in South Brisbane. (x)

Jul 13th - Us Weekly makes a wild claim that Tom is planning to propose soon, and Taylor is going to say yes. The magazine cover also claims they're already talking about babies. (x)

TMZ claims that Taylor wrote TIWYCF, and that Calvin disrespecting Taylor following its release was the reason for their breakup. (x)

Taylor Swift really is the creative brains behind Calvin Harris' monster hit "This is What You Came For," and their relationship fell apart because he disrespected her when the song was released ... this according to sources connected with Taylor.

It's a fascinating story. We've learned an early fan rumor about the song is true, but to a deeper extent than anyone suspected. During their relationship, Taylor wrote the song, sat down at a piano and did a demo into her iPhone. She sent it to Calvin, who loved it. They both went into a studio and did a full demo with Taylor on vocals and Calvin doing the beat.

They both knew the song would be a hit, but Taylor wrote it for Calvin and both agreed it was a bad idea to let the world know they collaborated as a couple ... it would overshadow the song.

So Taylor, who kept the publishing rights, used the pseudonym Nils Sjoberg on the credits.

//

The problem in the relationship came the day the song was released. Calvin appeared on Ryan Seacrest's radio show and Ryan asked, "Will you do a collaboration with your girlfriend?" Calvin responded, "You know we haven't even spoken about it. I can't see it happening though."

We're told Taylor was hurt and felt Calvin took it too far.

It was a quick downward spiral from that point. One source called it "the breaking point in the relationship." The Met Gala was several days later, when Taylor danced with Tom Hiddleston.

Tree confirms to People magazine that Taylor did write TIWYCF under the pseudonym Nils Sjöberg. (x)

Calvin also confirms that Taylor wrote TIWYCF and goes on a Twitter rant:

Katy Perry tweets a gif of Hillary Clinton with a smug/'told you so' expression. (x) She also retweets an older tweet from May 2015 which reads, 'Time, the ultimate truth teller.' (x)

#TaylorSwiftIsOverParty trends on Twitter (x) (x) and Taylor's Instagram comments are spammed with the snake emoji. (x)

Following Calvin's tweets, TMZ publishes another article claiming he is downplaying Taylor's involvement in the song as she wrote the melody in addition to the lyrics. (x)

Jul 14th - Taylor goes out shopping in Gold Coast. (x)

Tom mentions Taylor in an interview with the Hollywood Reporter: (x)

You're in the middle of a cultural frenzy right now because you're dating Taylor Swift. How would you respond to people who claim that you're involved in some sort of publicity stunt?

(Laughs.) Well, um. How best to put this? That notion is — look, the truth is that Taylor Swift and I are together, and we're very happy. Thanks for asking. That's the truth. It's not a publicity stunt.

Martha says at a Pepsi/World Emoji Day event that Taylor and Tom are 'both happy and free together. It's amazing, I'm all about people being happy in love.' (x)

Kim talks about Taylor and the Famous controversy in a clip from an upcoming episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. (x)

“I never talk shit about anyone publicly, especially in interviews. But I was just like I had so had it,” Kim says in the clip to her sister Kourtney. “I wanted to defend him in it. She legitimately quote says, ‘As soon as I get on that Grammy red carpet I’m gonna tell all the press. Like I was in on it.’”

“And then she just didn’t like the reaction?” Kourtney says in response.

“Yeah, and you know just another way to play the victim,” Kim replies. She then brings the infamous VMAs moment from 2009 by saying, “It definitely got her a lot of attention the first time… I just don’t think he should be punished for it still to this day.”

Jul 17th - Kim posts an edited recording of Kanye and Taylor's phone call. In it, they discuss the 'I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex' line and Taylor says, 'Go with whatever line you think is better. It’s obviously very tongue in cheek either way. And I really appreciate you telling me about it. That’s really nice.' However, nowhere in the Snapchat video does Kanye consult her about the line, 'I made that bitch famous,' which is the line Taylor insisted she had never approved. (x) The other Kardashian sisters retweet and support Kim. (x)

(The full recording of the call, leaked in 2020, confirms that Kanye never told Taylor he was going to call her a bitch. It also shows her reminding him that she sold 7 million albums before he had even heard of her, in response to him suggesting the lyric, 'I made her famous.')

Kim takes to Twitter to call Taylor a snake.

Taylor posts a statement on Instagram responding to Kim's Snapchat video. (x)

Selena tweets, 'There are more important things to talk about… Why can’t people use their voice for something that fucking matters? This industry is so disappointing yet the most influential smh' (x)

Katy Perry tweets, '#RISE above it all' and links to her new single. People interpret it as a dig at Taylor. (x)

Martha Hunt tweets, 'It's pathetic how quick our culture is to sensationalize a fabricated story...' (x)

Jul 18th - #KimExposedTaylorParty spends the day trending at number one worldwide on Twitter. (x) To the point where 0.8% of all tweets posted in the entire week from the 18th-24th use the hashtag. (x) (Assuming that 1/7th of the week's total tweets were posted on each day, that means more than 1 in every 20 tweets on the 18th used the hashtag.) #TaylorSwiftIsOverParty also returns.

TMZ claims to have a copy of a letter from Taylor's lawyer, dating back to February, demanding that Kanye destroy the recording of their phone conversation and reminding him that it is a felony to secretly record a phone conversation in California. (x)

Taylor changes the name on her writing credits for TIWYCF on the BMI songwriters database. She is now listed as Taylor Swift instead of Nils Sjöberg. (x)

Camilla Belle, the subject of Taylor's 2010 song Better Than Revenge, posts a quote to Instagram which reads, 'No need for revenge. Just sit back & wait. Those who hurt you will eventually screw up themselves & if you’re lucky, God will let you watch.' (x)

Abigail tweets against Kim and Kanye, saying, 'May God forgive you & your wife for doing to others the very things you pray are NEVER done to your daughter.' She deletes the tweets after receiving death threats but leaves a tweet which reads, 'Guys…I will always stand by my best friend. There's no point in fighting over that.' (x)

Joseph Kahn (director of many of Taylor's music videos) defends Taylor on Twitter. (x)

The aunt of Dinah Jane from Fifth Harmony tweets, 'I always knew @/taylorswift13 was a SNAKE! Trying 2 break up my girls & use @/camilacabello97 as her protégé bitch bye you’ve been exposed!’ (x) The tweet is soon deleted and she claims her account was hacked. (x) (Camila quit the band at the end of 2016 and has since said that Taylor had nothing to do with her decision to leave.) (x)

Paula Erickson, Taylor’s former publicist from 2007 until 2014, likes a two-and-a-half-week-old tweet dragging Hiddleswift for being a badly executed bit of PR by Taylor and Tree. (x)

James Corden spoofs the recorded phone call on the Late Late Show. (x)

Calvin is rumoured to be dating Tinashe. (x)

Jul 20th - Todrick Hall defends Taylor, saying, 'She's one of the most genuine people I've ever met in my entire life.' (x)

Uzo Aduba says Taylor is 'a beautiful person and strong' and that she will overcome the Kimye drama. (x)

Paula likes another tweet shading Taylor and Tree. (x)

A graffiti artist creates a mural in Melbourne 'in loving memory of Taylor Swift' (misspelled as Smith). According to the artist, they are then contacted by Taylor's lawyers and threatened with legal action. (x)

Jul 21st - Taylor's Wikipedia page is vandalised with insults. (x)

Taylor and Tom fly back from Australia into a private airport in LA, and are seen out and about. (x) (x)

Jul 22nd - Fergie, who had Kim appear in her M.I.L.F. $ music video, says she thinks the Kimye-Taylor feud was planned and 'they’ll probably all come together at the MTV Awards or something.' (x)

Taylor goes to the gym in LA. It is the first time she has appeared in public since Kim posted the edited video, and her phone screen is now shattered. (x)

She also returns to Instagram to wish Selena a happy birthday. (x)

Jul 23rd - Taylor goes to the gym in LA. (x)

Tom is at Comic Con in San Diego. (x)

Calvin lip-syncs to Kanye's song That Part in a video posted on his Snapchat. (x) He also attends J-Lo's birthday party and is photographed with Kim. Apparently they have a friendly chat. (x) A source claims to E!, 'When Kim walked in Calvin saw her and stood up. He was clearly excited to see her and said 'hi' to Kim backstage.' (x)

Jul 24th - Taylor blocks the snake emoji from her Instagram comments section using a new Instagram feature. (x)

Tom is seen at the Four Seasons Hotel in Beverly Hills with members of Taylor's security team. (x)

Jul 26th - Tom flies back to LA from NYC, where he has just spent a couple of days. On the same day, Taylor's plane arrives back in LA from Nashville, where she has spent a couple of days. (x)

VMA nominations are announced. Taylor is not nominated in any category, despite Out Of The Woods and Wildest Dreams being eligible, leading some people to think she has been snubbed. Gossip Cop, an outlet widely used by celebrity publicists to quietly squash rumours, says that Taylor did not submit any videos for consideration this year. (x)

Jul 27th - Taylor goes to the gym in LA. (x)

John Newman, singer of Calvin's song Olé, jokes, 'Supposedly we had a holiday where he was movin’ on from his ex-missus,' referring to the trip to Mexico to film the music video, which involved girls and a yacht. He also says he doesn't think it's his place to say what inspired Calvin to write the song. (x)

Taylor and Tom go for dinner at Hillstone restaurant in Santa Monica. One source claims they 'seemed to really be enjoying each others’ company.' (x) It is the last time they are papped together.

Kanye makes a surprise appearance at Drake's concert in Chicago where he responds to Kim's Snapchat video for the first time, saying, 'All I gotta say is, I am so glad my wife has Snapchat. Because now y’all can know the truth. And can’t nobody talk shit about ‘Ye no more.' (x)

Cara appears on James Corden's show and talks about how she, Uzo and Ruby pranked Kesha and Haim at Taylor's 4th of July party. She mentions consulting Taylor and Tom first so that security knew what they were up to. She also says that Taylor and Tom got woken up at one point by all the noise they were making, and came upstairs together to find Cara and Uzo still making ghost noises. (x)

Jul 28th - Taylor goes to the gym in LA. (x)

Jul 29th - Sources close to Calvin deny rumours that he is planning to collaborate on music with Kanye. (x)

Abigail likes E! News' Instagram photo of Tom and Taylor going out for dinner on the 27th, which has a gushing caption about them. (x)

Jul 31st - Taylor is seen entering her gym in LA through the back door. (x)

A fan sees Tom and Taylor at The Church Key restaurant in LA. (x) The outing is not papped.

Intro // February // March // April // May // June // July // August // September // October // November

[scotianostra]

On April 13th 1596 Walter Scott of Buccleuch freed notorious reiver William Armstrong of Kinmont from Carlisle Castle.

Perhaps the best known of the Border reivers (outlaw raiders or rustlers), William Armstrong of Kinmont's first recorded raid was against the Milburns of Tyndale, in August 1583, when Armstrong was probably in his forties. In 1585 he accompanied the Earl of Angus`s campaign against the Earl of Arran and pillaged Stirling. Eight years later he was in Tynedale again with 1,000 men, carrying off over 2,000 beasts and £300 in spoils.

The events of 1596 and the rescue of ‘Kinmont’ Willie Armstrong represent a daring swashbuckling adventure. 

The fact that Kinmont led one of the most notorious bands of cut-throats ever to roam the Debatable Land seems to be irrelevant and in the tradition of the Border ballads we are to view him as a hero. His notoriety and activities were such that the Warden of the West Marsh's deputy, Salkeld, captured Kinmont as he returned from a Truce Day at the Dayholm of Kershope. Kinmont was taken to Carlisle.

According to Border Law it should not have happened on a Truce Day and Walter Scott of Buccleuch (keeper of Liddesdale on whose land the arrest had been made) protested to the Warden, Lord Scrope. When Scrope refused to return Kinmont, Buccleuch became concerned that Scrope was anxious to hang Kinmont on the gallows at Harraby and so assembled a motley bunch of Elliots, Scotts, Armstrongs and Grahams to effect a rescue. 

The numbers involved vary from 40 to 200. The weather was atrocious which made crossing the River Eden very dangerous, but it did mean that the castle watch had taken shelter. Buccleuch left a group to cover the retreat and led the raiding party himself. Popular opiniontells they must have had support from the inside because they entered the castle quickly. Thus with the aid of a sturdy Reiver, Red Rowan, Kinmont made his escape.

In 1600, Armstrong attacked the village of Scotby with 140 riders, burning and taking prisoners and cattle. In 1602 he rode his last foray, south of Carlisle. He was still alive two years later, and his four sons who had helped to get him out of Carlisle Castle are frequently named in the later Border raids. Legend supposes he died in his bed of old age, sometime between 1608 and 1611.

As is usual with these Border legends we look to the old sources of the story tellers before reading and writing was the norm, the old songs. Francis James Child was an American scholar and collector of Ballads, if you follow my posts you will no doubt have seen me posting "Child Ballads" at times, this story comes from Child Ballad 186, it is more unusual than most of the songs I know from the Child Ballads as it is longer than most at 20 verses, it is well worth a wee listen.

Kinmont Willie.

O hae ye no heard o' the fause Sakelde? O hae ye no heard o' the keen Lord Scroope? How they hae ta'en bauld Kinmount Willie, On Haribee to hang him up?

Had Willie had but twenty men, But twenty men as stout as he, Fause Sakelde would never the Kinmount ta'en, Wi' eight score in his company.

They band his legs beneath the steed, They tied his hands behind his back. They guarded him, fivesome on either side, And they led him through the Liddel-rack.

They led him through the Liddel-rack, And also through the Carlisle sands; They took him tae Carlisle Castle, To be at my Lord Scroope's commands.

“My hands are tied, but my tongue is free, play Sound Clip And whae will dare this deed avow? Or answer by the Border law? Or answer tae the bauld Buccleuch?”

“Now haud thy tongue, thou rank reiver. There's never a Scot shall set thee free: Before ye cross my castle gate, I trow ye shall take farewell of me.”

Now word has gane tae the bauld keeper, In Branksome Ha', where that he lay, That Lord Scroope has ta'en the Kinmount Willie, Between the hours of night and day.

And here detained him, Kinmount Willie, Against the truce of Border tide. And forgotten that the bauld Buccleuch Is keeper on the Scottish side?

“Had there been war between the lands, As well I wot that there is nane, I would slight Carlisle Castle high, Though it were built of marble stane.”

“I would set that castle in a lowe, And sloken it wi' English blood. There's never a man in Cumberland, What kent where Carlisle castle stood.���

“But since nae war's between the lands, And here is peace, and peace should be; I will neither harm English lad or lass, And yet the Kinmount shall be free.”

And as we crossed the Debatable land, And tae the English side we held, The first of men that we met wi', Whae should it be but fause Sakelde?

“Where ye be gaun, ye broken men?” Quo' fause Sakelde; “Come tell to me?” Now Dickie o' Dryhope led that band, And there never a word of lear has he.

And as we left the Staneshaw-bank, The wind began full loud tae blaw; But 'twas wind and weet, and fire and sleet, When we came beneath the castle wa'.

They thought King James and a' his men Had won the house wi' bow and spear; It was but twenty Scots and ten, That put a thousand in sic a steir!

And as we reached the lower prison, Where Kinmount Willie he did lie, “O sleep ye, wake ye, Kinmount Willie, Upon the morn that thou's to die?”

Then shoulder high, with shout and cry, We bore him doon the ladder lang; At every stride Red Rowan made, I wot the Kinmount's airns play'd clang!

He turn'd him on the other side, And at Lord Scroope his glove flung he. “If ye na like my visit in merry England, In fair Scotland come and visit me!"”

All sair astonished stood Lord Scroope, He stood as still as rock of stane; He scarcely dared tae trew his eyes, When through the water they had gane.

“He is either himsel' a devil frae hell, Or else his mother a witch maun be; I wadna hae ridden that wan water, For a' the gowd in Christendie.”

[tales-of-asgardia]

Loki's Knowhere, Chapter 2. Lost Fonts.

Asgard, the golden city in the Realm Eternal, in the early 13th century as the time was known to the mortals of Midgard, four prodigies of the old arts of sorcery and witchcraft studied. Lorelei, who above all else coveted power in all its forms, her older sister Amora, the most talented of Frigga’s class. Sigyn, with a sincere heart; and Loki, Odinson.

“Amora, I cannot express the greatness of which I do not wish to hear your pinings for my brother.” Loki pleaded to the sorceress with shining golden hair.

“Perhaps I might find the resolve to hold my tongue if my fortitude was not worn down by how grotesquely cute you and Sigyn were daily.” 

Sigyn blushed, “Amora, I do not know what you speak of.”

“You refer to him casually as husband.” Amora stated.

“And?” Loki asked.

“You are not married, or betrothed...lest you have eloped to avoid the judging gaze of the Allfather?” Amora teased.

“We have not.” Loki replied.

Sigyn brought her hands to her cheeks, covering her flush, “Please, shush, her Majesty shall return soon.

“Sigyn, my sweet, most cherished friend, you are so very easy to tease.” Amora laughed.

[Scene transition.]

Several daggers flew across the table from Loki’s outstretched hand, Nebula dodged, but had to raise her arm to stop the third dagger from piercing her chest. She winced as the asgardian conjured blade burned at her cybernetics.

“The next one shall not miss your heart.” Loki declared.

Quill drew his twin blasters on Loki, “Yeah and mine will getcha right between the eyes.”

With the flick of her fingers, the seat below Quill flew up and slammed him into the ceiling and he fell with a hard thud.

Thor looked back to Nebula, “You...tortured Loki?”

“I am groot.” Groot whimpered.

“Under Thanos’s order, yes.” Nebula admitted, “He tortured everyone he could he could use but resisted his will. Including Gamora and myself.” She pulled the thin razor from her arm, tossing it on the table, “We were all his victims.” She said, looking at Loki.

Thor turned around, “Loki, I had no idea.”

“You never do.” Loki spat.

“We’ll leave, Loki.” Nebula said.

“I am groot?”

“Yeah, what about Gamora?” Peter asked.

Loki glared at Nebula, not trusting her eyes off her for even a moment, “I shall not be helping you.”

“There are other leads.” Nebula stated.

The cyborg daughter of Thanos was the first to step out, followed by Drax, Rocket took Groot’s hand. “I am Groot?”

Quill stepped out without a word.

“Uh, Thor?” Rocket asked.

“Sister, I…” Thor said, softly, conflicted. “I said I’d help them.”

Loki’s jaw trembled, “Go.”

Thor nodded, “Thank you, Loki.”

The Thunderer was leaving as Loki spoke up again, “Brother...don’t come back.”

Thor stopped in his tracks, his hand made a shaking fist, he replied, “goodbye, Loki.”

Loki held still, deady painfully still for a long long time. Finally, Loki let out her breath, tears rolling down her cheeks, “Thick oaf.”

Over the intercom a digital voice spoke, “Lady Loki, the hostile entities have left orbit and your throne has been replaced.”

Loki did not reply, she poured herself a goblet of wine, she headed deeper into the Collection, to her personal chambers, “Clear all scheduled events, I need...I need a lot of things.”

“Shall we compile a wish list, Lady Loki?” 

“....No.”

Days passed into weeks for Loki, whose days consisted of day drinking on her throne, and the occasional approval of planetary defense systems as scavengers attempted to take whatever remained of the Collection.

She wore a green silky robe one morning as she sat awkwardly on her throne, lazily clipping her toenails, and munching on a bowl of grapes when the familiar roar of a bifrost bridge blasted outside the museum.

Loki jumped on her throne and glowered towards the sound, ‘Dense oaf, can’t follow the simplest request.” she muttered to herself, though despite all that had transpired she smiled softly.

All while you, Odin the protector of those Nine Realms, are sitting here in your bathrobes eating grapes.

“Oh shit.” She took a quick swallow of wine and stood up, glamoring herself, illusory light shifting her bathrobe into a green armored coat and matching boots, “Uhm, bumbum bah,” She adds fur to the collar of the coat, ‘Perfect.”

“Lady Loki, shall I engage defense protocols?” 

“It’s fine, disengage all safety measures.” Loki quickly said.

As the door opened Loki put on an all serious face, “Even now you cannot listen to a word I say, dear bro-” Loki froze, seeing her breath, she closed her grip on a conjured dagger.

The figure stepped through the door and Loki threw the dagger but it was knocked aside, the figure raised their hand and waves of ice ripped through the throne room and blasted Loki against the wall.

“Foul monster, you dare invade the home,” Loki said, as the figure walked closer, “of Loki, child of...Laufey.”

“Hello, son.” Laufey said, grabbing Loki’s face by the chin and jaw.

Loki let out groans of pain, as her skin grew blue, shapeshifting into jotunari form to protect herself from the damage, she bit Laufey’s hand hard, drawing blood.

“Whatever trick this is, Jotunn, I am not fooled. I killed Laufey myself.” Loki stated, and strained against the icewall, “Now tell, who are you, why should I care, and why,” Loki struggled fruitlessly, “Why can’t I break out of this damn ice!?”

The Jotunn wearing Laufey’s face smiled, erupting into illusory light, revealing a powerful built Jotunn woman with icy blue skin and deep blue-violet hair in thick curls, “I am Utgard Angrboda, Queen of Jotunheim.”

Loki glowered, and sneered, “So, the frost giants finally decided on a new king of the rumble mound? And a witch at that. How many jotnar fell to the power vacuum left in Laufey’s absence?”

“None to succession, millions when the bifrost landed on our world and did not end until it bore into the planet’s core...disrupting rotation, and plunging my world into further ruin than Odin ever dreamed.” Angrboda spat, “My ascension to the throne was assured before our births, when Laufey propositioned my clan for a betrothed for his...child.”

“So what, you’ve come here to kill me?” Loki grimaced, “Wed me? I implore you, choose the first.”

“Neither, unfortunately.” She stepped away, pouring herself a drink from the bar, “I have come because I was assured of your capability, and to call on your debt to your own people. The Realms are in chaos, Yggdrasil sundered, the balance a distant memory...even if I save Jotunheim it would only be a matter of time until all is lost regardless.”

“Funny you should think a Jotunn of all things would know anything about maintaining the balance of the realms.”

Angrboda downed her drink, “Yes, you’re right, after all, only Nine, or was it Eight? No matter, only SOME of the realms have fallen under Odin’s protection.”

Loki grimaced, silently.

“The Balance of the realms has nothing to do with an Imperialist calm. Odin kept his peace in the realms but not true balance. He was it’s defiler, a murderer and thief. Odin stole the fonts of magic from all realms he could not control otherwise, the casket of ancient winters, the eternal flame, the mead of poetry. And in doing so he made the realms weak so he could seem strong.”

“Tell me, jotunn queen, why should I consider a word of what you’re telling me?” Loki asked.

“Because,” Called into the room a new voice, Loki looked to the door in disbelief. “She learned this from me, Loki.”

She walked into the room, with a wave of her hand, chains of light glowed and shattered over Loki, and the ice shattered, she fell to the floor on her knees, wide eyed Loki uttered in dear whisper, “Sigyn.” 

Chapter 1 can be read here https://protector-of-mankind-thor.tumblr.com/post/632008264553463808/the-milano-slowed-as-it-entered-knowheres

[thirstyhellfirenacht]

SnapChat

@sofabearr Did an AMAZING drawing of Beetlejuice for me a while ago so of course, I had to write something based off it <3

Summary: You’re on vacation and to your surprise, your favorite demon sends you a friend request on SnapChat.

Words: 1.7k

ReaderxBeetlejuice, being a tease and a brat on snaptchat, slight Daddy Kink

You had been gone all of three days into your vacation when you received the notification on your phone. You opened up Snapchat to see an odd screen name combined with a picture of your favorite demon, and you couldn’t help but grin. 

Delia had given Beetlejuice a smartphone weeks ago when he was complaining about how people just left the house all the time. He was lonely and desperately needed company, or at least a shiny new toy to keep him quiet. 

You smiled, sitting yourself by the window overlooking the beach in your room. The rental house hadn’t been cheap but it had been worth it, your friends who you had chipped in with to do this were all out doing their own thing for the day, but you had just wanted to relax and catch up on some reading.  

You accepted the friend request and within moments you had a message from him. It was a selfie of his face way to close to the camera with an exaggerated frown. [When r u cuming back??] 

A giggle escaped your lips, as you took an equally ridiculous selfie back [The 13th like it says on the calendar] 

A direct message this time, with no picture. [u kno if u summon me we wouldn’t have 2 wait] That was true, and it was something that you had thought about for a while. It’d be easy to summon him here, but with so many people around you didn’t want to risk anyone else seeing him or getting hurt. Sure he’d gotten better about the whole murder thing, but you weren’t quite ready to take that chance. 

Still... it wouldn’t hurt to tease him a bit, right?

You aimed the camera at the window, not letting him see you, and hit record. You softly sighed his name one time before sending it off to him. You couldn’t stop yourself from grinning as you waited for his response. 

[Fuck yeah, just two more times Babes.] A picture of him with sunglasses appeared, and a light blush dusted across his cheeks. You quickly hit record again, this time all but moaning his name in a way that you knew drove him crazy. Even though he was so far away, you could so clearly imagine the way your voice hit him; how a shiver would run down his spine as he felt himself being pulled towards the person summoning him. 

[Come on, one more time for Daddy~] You couldn’t help but laugh a bit at the picture. His shirt was discarded and the angle of the picture was showing off socks with sandals; a classic dad staple. 

You hit record once more. “B-Bee-.... Ahh..... nah I’m good now.” you giggled before hitting send. Oh, he was gonna be so mad. 

[THIS IS AN ABUSE OF POWER.] You couldn’t help but laugh at the message. You felt a little bad, but after all the teasing he’d done to you in the past, it was worth it. 

[Sorry Beej, Snapchat isn’t usually supposed to be for summoning demons.] 

The next message took a few minutes to come through. You worried for a moment if you had been too mean with your summoning tease before a new picture message popped up. 

[Is this how breathers use snapchat? ;)] 

You stopped breathing for a moment as the picture popped up on your screen. He was smirking at the camera, and his hair had turned bright pink. He was still shirtless but his pants were unbuttoned and his erect cock was in his hand. Even in a picture his eyes were intense as if he could see you through the screen. It suddenly felt much warmer in your room. 

15 seconds wasn’t nearly enough time to take in the picture before it disappeared forever. You wish you had screen-shot it, but instead you tried to ignore your growing arousal. Two could play at this game. 

You removed your shirt, leaving your breasts only covered by a tasteful bikini that you had bought for the trip. Aiming the camera at your chest, you ran your fingers along the material, tracing the curve of your breasts lightly. Your phone was much newer, and the camera could pick up the goosebumps that were being raised against your skin. [I suppose this is a fairly common use for this app ;)] 

While you waited for the reply, you slipped out of your shorts and walked over to your suitcase, digging through it and pulling out a green vibrator that you had packed for the trip. You hadn’t thought you’d get that much use out of it, but you were now very glad that you brought it. 

As you settled back down by the window, your phone buzzed with another message. This time it was a video of him groaning and playing with his nipples. You squirmed in your seat as you watched his fingers dance across his chest and imagined that you were the one doing it to him. “Fuuuuuuck” he groaned out your name as the clip ended. 

You quickly went to work propping up the pillows next to you and setting your phone on them so that the camera was looking right at you. Hitting record again, you got on all fours and smiled at the camera before lifting up the vibrator to teasingly lick it. You used your tongue to lick all the way up it, making sure to pay special attention to the tip before sliding it down your chest. That was as far as you could go before the clip ended. 

He re-played the clip and you couldn’t help but be proud of yourself. He always loved seeing your tongue at work, it was nice to know you’d have that effect on him even from so far away. 

[UR A TEASE] His cock was in his hand again and he was doing his best to mimic what you had done to your vibrator. His hips were twitching and it looked like he was already on the verge of cumming. 

[Awww, already that pent up after only a few days?] You played with your bikini top again, just allowing him to see to see what you were hiding underneath. With your free hand you ran it along your inner thigh before running your fingers over your clothed mound. Again you softly sighed his name before the clip cut off. 

Instead of waiting for a reply, you started a new clip again, this time you slowly removed your top before running the vibrator along your breasts, not turning it on yet. [Because I’m doing just fine ;)]  

[FUCK] He was gripping the base of his cock, squirming and rocking his hips as if he was trying to hold off on cumming already. “You’re lucky you haven’t summoned me.” he growled. “If I was there I’d fuck you against that window for everyone to see.” He wrapped a hand around the head of his cock as he talked. For a moment you wondered how he was able to hold the phone, and his cock like that before you remembered his demon powers to grow extra limbs. 

You were starting to regret not summoning him. 

You finally turned on the vibrator, letting it rest against your still clothed clit. This was now about teasing him and making him lose control. The idea that you’d come home to a demon ready to punish you by fucking you senseless was too good to pass up. 

The recording started again. “Ooooh fuuuuck Beetlejuice...!” you whined and rocked your hips against the vibrator for a few seconds before moving the bikini bottoms to the side. “Daddy, please fuck me~” you practically purred as you ran the vibrator over your clit. Even though this was now mostly for him, you couldn’t help but enjoy the feeling of your clit getting attention; especially knowing that Beetlejuice would probably do anything to get his mouth between your legs. He’d eat you out for hours if you didn’t kick him off you. 

It took another few minutes for him to reply, but you kept teasing yourself as you waited patiently, imagining what he was doing, or what he was thinking. 

He was taking too long to respond, so you send another one. This time you slipped the vibrator inside you, and you let out a long moan just the way he liked it. “Ooooooh.... Oh fuck, it’s not nearly as good as you are...!” you whined, grinding down and feeling it pulse and vibrate against your inner walls. “But maybe if you ask nicely.... I’ll summon-” 

The clip cut short, and you waited again for him to respond. This time the response came quickly. He was still holding the base of his cock, while another one of his hands was quickly stroking his shaft and thumbing the leaking head. [PLEASE] “Fuck fuck fuck, babes please summon me! I’ll do anything! I’ll let you ride my face, I’ll tongue fuck you! Upstairs, downstairs, buttstuff- whatever you want PLEASE” 

You would have summoned him, you really would have, but when you hit record it didn’t quite go as planned. You reached down to play with your clit as you fucked yourself with the vibrator, his name escaping your lips once... then twice. Except the second time, you couldn’t stop thinking about how hot his voice sounded as he begged for you and the second time his name escaped your lips it was followed by a loud scream as an orgasm hit you in full force. You shivered and rocked your hips as you imagined Beetlejuice’s fingers and tongue on your dripping pussy. 

As you came down from your orgasm, you smiled a little bit as you threw the caption over the video. [Just had post-nut clarity. See you later!] 

It was mean, and you were certainly going to be punished for it later. But you had never had a chance to have this power over him before, and you certainly weren't going to let it go to waste. You turned off your phone before even giving him a chance to reply. 

Oh yeah, you were totally going to pay for this later, but for now you had a book you needed to catch up on and a toy to clean up. 

[tokyotxehyun]

“of course i do, you idiot”

Pairing: beomgyu x reader

Genre: fluff, bit of angst and a sprinkle of crack for funsies

tw/cw: tattoos, bandages, crying... that’s about it

0.9k words

you: y’all seen the show just tattoo of us?

soupbin: nope

junnie: i’ve seen a few clips of it

taehyunnie: can’t say i have

ningning: yes!!

gyuwu: no

ningning: are you thinking what i’m thinking y/n??

you: i think so??

you: anyway, on the show they get two people, friends, family, couple, etc and they go to the tattoo parlor and design each other’s tattoos

you: i think it would be cool if we did it, though obviously if you don’t want a tattoo then you don’t have to get one

ningning: well i’m not 18 yet so i can’t but i love the idea!!

soupbin: can we pick where and what size it is?

you: yeah

soupbin: then yeah sure

junnie: yes!!!!!

taehyunnie: hmm.. okay. 

gyuwu: sounds good

taehyunnie: should we draw the person that we pick the design on randomly? because i know that two of us might pick the same person

you: kang taehyun, you watch yourself before i remove your kneecaps

junnie: that’s kneecapitation

taehyunnie: oh my god yeonjun

soupbin: kai should do the picking so that none of us cheat

ningning: aight, let me write your names down and find a hat

ningning: okay. i will pm you all with who you got so it’s secret(tm)

you: djdjdjd okay

/ningning: you got...

you’d never tapped on a notification so fast.

ningning: you got

beomgyu! ;)))

you: shut up

ningning: i didn’t say anything! 

you: the winking face says it all

ningning: pfft whatever that was an accident it was meant to be a smiley face

you: yeah right

-

“okay, so you don’t know who is designing your tattoo?” the tattoo artist asked as you all sat in one of the rooms.

“nope!” everyone spoke in unison.

“that’s fun isn’t it? so if you all tell me the size and where you want it, i can note it down and then one at a time you can tell me in the other room who you’re designing for. we can make sure that the size and placement will be considered in the designing process.”

the artist pulled out a notebook and wrote where each individual wanted the tattoo - then motioned for you to follow him into the other smaller room.

“so who did you get?”

“i got beomgyu, the one with grey hair.”

“ah, yes. what were you thinking?”

“well, i wanted to write the date and coordinates of where we met,” you pulled out your phone, tapping into the notes app. “37.5665° n, 126.9780° e, 13th of march, 2017.” he began sketching out some different fonts and you picked a simple and minimalist one. the different parts were going on the inside of his fingers on his left hand. 

“awesome, thanks.” you left the room, proud of yourself for thinking of something meaningful. 

-

two days later, and everyone had gotten their tattoos done. yours was just below your collarbone, and you were all sitting in your living room, a full length mirror leaning against the wall. 

kai stood up, clapping his hands. “okay, so i think that we should go yeonjun, taehyun, soobin, beomgyu and then y/n last.”

“hey! this was my idea, i think i should go first.” you pouted. kai shook his head. 

“well i am basically the mc for this event so i choose the order.”

“argh, fine.” 

you all laughed at yeonjun’s tattoo of a smiley face chosen by soobin on his bicep. everyone was laughing so hard they were crying at the simple lineart of a bunny sitting on a loaf of bread on soobin’s thigh that kai had picked. taehyun had a small star behind his ear, that yeonjun had picked for him, stating “you’re a star and it’s time you start thinking you are.” 

beomgyu closed his eyes as kai removed the bandages around his fingers. when he looked, his brows furrowed slightly in confusion.

“that’s the coordinates and date of when and where we met. seoul, on the thirteenth of march, 2017.” you said. he stared at you, his eyes tearing up slightly as he bit his lip. you wrapped your arms around him, engulfing him in a hug. 

“cute. now y/n, get over here so i can take those bandages off.” you rolled your eyes at kai’s impatience and stood with your eyes closed in front of the mirror. your skin stung as the bandage was ripped off, and then you opened your eyes cautiously.

you felt your throat tighten. 

there, just under your collarbone, was a tattoo almost identical to beomgyu’s. the only difference was the year - yours read 13/3/18 instead of 13/3/17.

“well... that’s the coordinates and date of where and when i realised i love you. seoul, thirteenth of march, 2018.”

you couldn’t help but start bawling your eyes out, and as beomgyu hugged you for the second your buried your face onto the soft black material of his shirt. god, how didn’t you notice how fantastic he smelled.

“that’s nearly two years, gyu, why didn’t you tell me?” you sniffed, looking up at him. 

“i didn’t think you liked me back.” he bit his lip again.

“of course i do, you idiot.” you gently hit his arm, both laughing. you glanced over to the others, who were sitting almost expectantly. kai mouthed ‘kiss’ quite aggressively to you, and you poked your tongue out at him. 

beomgyu had clearly seen kai’s antics and sighed. 

“... maybe we should kiss.”

“usually, i’d say no just to annoy kai... but sure.” you smiled.

beomgyu’s slightly raw lips were on yours for a few moments before he pulled away. 

the others began cheering, kai in particular standing upon the coffee table with his arms in the air and screeching at the top of his lungs “my plan worked! i am a genius!!” 

“of course you set this whole thing up...” you muttered. 

kai beamed. “yes. you’re welcome, by the way.”

-

okay so i watched this video on tumblr this morning. it was a clip from the show ‘just tattoo of us’ where these two women got tattoos designed by the other or some shit, and they reveal them... basically the second chick got a tattoo that had “i love you” and asked the other chick to be her girlfriend and it inspired me to write this (it was the cutest thing e v e r and i cried a little bit watching it).

i also saw the prompts list from @softhourtxt​ and thought that #48 ‘maybe we should kiss’ could fit this too.

[jinmukangwrites]

From the Ashes (1/???)

Summary: In a modern version of Hyrule, a young man finds himself in a world filled with nothing but white walls, studying faces, and tests after tests. Something is different about him, and the world seems very interested is seeing what makes him tick. (A modern, BOTW/LOZ "Labrat" AU)

You all asked for this, so I’m delivering. Slight note, this is a normal Legend of Zelda AU, not a Linked Universe one. Though, that doesn’t mean the other incarnations of Link will never make an appearance. 

Word count: 1,422 // Total word count (so far): 4,774

Warnings: there's a lot, not all of them appear in this chapter but they will in later ones. Experimentation, non-consensual touching, child abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, suffocation, needles, restraints, death, graphic description of injury, basically I kill Link a bunch of times and do horrible things to him, anything horrible you can imagine happening to him will eventually happen, (there is NO sexual abuse in this story)

MAKE SURE YOU READ THE WARNINGS, READ AT OWN RISK.

Chapter 2 will upload June 13th.

-o-o-o-o-

He used to have a name. A life. He can see it in his dreams and taste it at the tip of his tongue. When he closes his eyes, he can see blue sky, something he doesn't ever remember seeing with his eyes open. He can hear a happy voice call his name behind him, and he turns and he sees people. Not scientists, not these white cloaked creatures that has become all he's ever known. He turns, he sees them, and he can just tell that he knows them somehow. One is large, bearded, the other short, woman, long strawberry blonde hair, and the last is very small, a girl, sparkling eyes.

He can't discern much more than that. He reaches out to them, his wrists free of tubes and needles, his feet move without him being dragged, he goes forward without restraints. His hands stretch out in front of him, he's so close, but then awareness starts to ebb into his dazed mind and somehow, they get further and further away. The girl yells something, the man calls out, the woman falls to the ground, sobbing.

There's a flash of light, a crash, and he's thrown around with the sounds of screaming and crunching metal, the howl of tires struggling to find traction on the road, and then everything goes dark.

Every time he closes his eyes. He has a name. He has a family.

But then he opens them, and he's the Subject. He's alone, no one to call Mom or Dad or little sister, no one there but the faceless men and women who study him through the glass of his cell. His world.

-o-o-o-o-

He doesn't remember much. Days bleed and blend together like white paint on a blank canvas. He doesn't know what he was doing last week, let alone what food he had the night before. He only knows right now, and he can't think further back. Well, actually he can take guesses. Last week he was most likely strapped to a table like he is now, what he had to eat was probably that gray, goopy substance that they forced down his throat a few hours before.

But it's not like he has any memory of that. His memories are just itches at the back of his neck or invisible bugs clawing at his wrists. Sometimes the memories are stabbing pains in his abdomen, burning fires in his lungs, stiffness in his legs. He doesn't remember much, but he supposes he remembers the pain.

There is one memory he can proudly say he remembers. It's horrible to say he's proud of it, because it's not a happy memory, but it at least give him an idea as how long he's been here, it gives him hope that he used to fight, that the straps on his body wasn't just precautionary, but actually used to keep him down and keep him from fighting.

It's the first time he's ever died, and he's somewhat confident in saying that he's died many, many times. It's the reason he's here, it's the reason they took him, he knows it. This memory is proof.

He's tiny in this memory; probably standing to the middle of his thigh at his present height. Hands are gripping his wrists so tight that he couldn't feel his fingertips, leaving bruises as he's grabbed around the middle and dumped on a white, stiffly padded table. He's screaming, screaming, the only evidence that he could have ever have had a voice, he doesn't scream now. He's to numb, his voice too gone. Anyway, he's screaming, lashing out and trying to claw at the people trying to pin him down.

He's small, but he's furiously fighting, biting and kicking as they grab hold of his soft, cotton tee-shirt and force it over his head. Bear chested, they press his upper body to the table where they start looping soft, velcro restraints around his wrists and chest while hands grab at his hips and force his jeans down.

They left his underwear on, but now he's practically naked as they now strap down his thighs and ankles in similar restraints and soon he's screaming and bucking but going nowhere. He tugs at his arms and jolts his legs, hard enough he can feel his shoulder smarting. Though, he's completely powerless when a hand falls over his face and forces his head to the side where they jab a needle into his neck.

His yells and protests turn into soft cries as the fluid they jammed into him starts to relax his muscles. The light is so bright and the fear pounding in his heart makes it easy for tears to slip out. In seconds, he has no strength to even lift a finger as they clip something on the tip of his pointer. He lets out a sob when they press small circular items connected to wires leading to machines to his chest, neck, stomach, head, thighs.

He wants to go home. He wants to go home, he's so scared, so confused, so alone. He wants to go home.

Someone approaches his side and he winces as another needle enters his skin at the wrist, this one staying. Tears pool out his eyes when another goes into the crook of his elbow and draws out red. There's chatter above him but the blood running in his ears makes it hard to listen.

He's dizzy and nauseous by the time the needle taking his blood leaves his arm. They're touching him, taking notes, bouncing theories, and suddenly, they all step back, silent.

He whimpers and tries to get his arms to move, but nothing is working. He's going numb, he can't even feel where they poked him with needles anymore. A man approaches, something that looks like an oxygen mask in his hands, though it's connected to an intimidating looking machine. Scared, he tries to turn his face, but it's all for naught when the mask is slipped over his mouth and nose and secured around the back of his head.

The man goes to flip a switch and pure terror fills his body because he has no idea what's going on and he can do nothing but cry and scream, he can't ask them what's happening, or where he is, or why he's here, he can't even twitch his fingers to sign.

"Wait," a voice says; a woman, white hair, red eyes, Sheikah. She reaches towards the man's hand and he stops. "He's just a child. You'll kill him."

"That's the point," the man growls, whipping his hand out from hers, "or have you forgotten that?"

"No, there must be a way to study his abilities without having to kill him-"

"This is a project demanded by the King himself," the man snarls, "we cannot make guesses and maybes on a project so important. Now, do you're job, Purah, or do I need to remind you what happens to people who go against the King's direct orders?"

The woman stares at the man for a second before she lands her red gaze down on the boy strapped to the table, lazily yet fearfully watching them. She sighs and the boy feels something shatter in his chest when she turns away from him and steps back.

The man nods before he turns with no more delays to flip the switch connected to the mask on his face.

There's a whir, then suddenly it's getting harder and harder to breath, like the air is replaced with peanut butter. He shutters and gasps, eyes wide and unblinking up towards the bright lights above him. Tears stream down his cheeks and the edges of his vision begin to go black, and it spreads until he feels nothing.

He continues to feel nothing. Not the table, not the restraints, not his entire body. Then, there's a blue warmth reaching out to him like a sad song.

The memory gets blurred at this part. He somewhat remembers waking up again to a flurry of white coats and clipboards. Beeping fills his ears and pounds against his skull as machines struggle to make sense of what happened. There's a pinch in the crook of his elbow and the need to throw up almost becomes unbearable until suddenly he can't breathe again, there's yelling, then air rushes into his lungs. It's all too much for his small body to take at this point and he let's a different kind of black take him once again.

[scotianostra]

On April 13th 1596 Walter Scott of Buccleuch freed notorious reiver  William Armstrong of Kinmont from Carlisle Castle. 

Perhaps the best known of the Border reivers (outlaw raiders or rustlers), William Armstrong of Kinmont's first recorded raid was against the Milburns of Tyndale,  in August 1583, when Armstrong was probably in his forties. In 1585 he accompanied the Earl of Angus`s campaign against the Earl of Arran and pillaged Stirling. Eight years later he was in Tynedale again with 1,000 men, carrying off over 2,000 beasts and £300 in spoils.

The events of 1596 and the rescue of ‘Kinmont’ Willie Armstrong represent a daring swashbuckling adventure. The fact that Kinmont led one of the most notorious bands of cut-throats ever to roam the Debatable Land seems to be irrelevant and in the tradition of the Border ballads we are to view him as a hero. His notoriety and activities were such that the Warden of the West Marsh's deputy, Salkeld, captured Kinmont as he returned from a Truce Day at the Dayholm of Kershope. Kinmont was taken to Carlisle. 

According to Border Law it should not have happened on a Truce Day and Walter Scott of Buccleuch (keeper of Liddesdale on whose land the arrest had been made) protested to the Warden, Lord Scrope. When Scrope refused to return Kinmont, Buccleuch became concerned that Scrope was anxious to hang Kinmont on the gallows at Harraby and so assembled a motley bunch of Elliots, Scotts, Armstrongs and Grahams to effect a rescue. Oral tradition has meant that the numbers vary from 40 to 200. The weather was atrocious which made crossing the River Eden very dangerous, but it did mean that the castle watch had taken shelter. Buccleuch left a group to cover the retreat and led the raiding party himself. Popular opinion has it that they must have had support from the inside because they entered the castle quickly. Thus with the aid of a sturdy Reiver, Red Rowan, Kinmont made his escape.

In 1600, Armstrong attacked the village of Scotby with 140 riders, burning and taking prisoners and cattle. In 1602 he rode his last foray, south of Carlisle. He was still alive two years later, and his four sons who had helped to get him out of Carlisle Castle are frequently named in the later Border raids. Legend supposes he died in his bed of old age, sometime between 1608 and 1611. 

As is usual with these Border legends we look to the old sources of the story tellers before reading and writing was the norm, the old songs.  Francis James Child was an American scholar and collector of Ballads, if you follow my posts you will no doubt have seen me posting "Child Ballads" at times, this story comes from Child Ballad 186.  This ballad is more unusual than most of the songs I know from the Child Ballads as it is longer than most at 20 verses.

Kinmont Willie

O hae ye no heard o' the fause Sakelde? O hae ye no heard o' the keen Lord Scroope? How they hae ta'en bauld Kinmount Willie, On Haribee to hang him up?

Had Willie had but twenty men, But twenty men as stout as he, Fause Sakelde would never the Kinmount ta'en, Wi' eight score in his company.

They band his legs beneath the steed, They tied his hands behind his back. They guarded him, fivesome on either side, And they led him through the Liddel-rack.

They led him through the Liddel-rack, And also through the Carlisle sands; They took him tae Carlisle Castle, To be at my Lord Scroope's commands.

“My hands are tied, but my tongue is free, play Sound Clip And whae will dare this deed avow? Or answer by the Border law? Or answer tae the bauld Buccleuch?”

“Now haud thy tongue, thou rank reiver. There's never a Scot shall set thee free: Before ye cross my castle gate, I trow ye shall take farewell of me.”

Now word has gane tae the bauld keeper, In Branksome Ha', where that he lay, That Lord Scroope has ta'en the Kinmount Willie, Between the hours of night and day.

And here detained him, Kinmount Willie, Against the truce of Border tide. And forgotten that the bauld Buccleuch Is keeper on the Scottish side?

“Had there been war between the lands, As well I wot that there is nane, I would slight Carlisle Castle high, Though it were built of marble stane.”

“I would set that castle in a lowe, And sloken it wi' English blood. There's never a man in Cumberland, What kent where Carlisle castle stood.”

“But since nae war's between the lands, And here is peace, and peace should be; I will neither harm English lad or lass, And yet the Kinmount shall be free.”

And as we crossed the Debatable land, And tae the English side we held, The first of men that we met wi', Whae should it be but fause Sakelde?

“Where ye be gaun, ye broken men?” Quo' fause Sakelde; “Come tell to me?” Now Dickie o' Dryhope led that band, And there never a word of lear has he.

And as we left the Staneshaw-bank, The wind began full loud tae blaw; But 'twas wind and weet, and fire and sleet, When we came beneath the castle wa'.

They thought King James and a' his men Had won the house wi' bow and spear; It was but twenty Scots and ten, That put a thousand in sic a steir!

And as we reached the lower prison, Where Kinmount Willie he did lie, “O sleep ye, wake ye, Kinmount Willie, Upon the morn that thou's to die?”

Then shoulder high, with shout and cry, We bore him doon the ladder lang; At every stride Red Rowan made, I wot the Kinmount's airns play'd clang!

He turn'd him on the other side, And at Lord Scroope his glove flung he. “If ye na like my visit in merry England, In fair Scotland come and visit me!"”

All sair astonished stood Lord Scroope, He stood as still as rock of stane; He scarcely dared tae trew his eyes, When through the water they had gane.

“He is either himsel' a devil frae hell, Or else his mother a witch maun be; I wadna hae ridden that wan water, For a' the gowd in Christendie.”

[loveforpreserumsteve]

The Chilling Adventures of Steve Rogers: Part One (Magical Hydra Horror AU)

Twenty-Seven:

Article upon article, Steve poured over everything he could about the Stark family. So far, all he could find about a Stark daughter was a sole obituary. And even then, it was so obtuse that Steve doubted it was even the right person.

The more Steve dug and the less he found, Steve wondered why they would keep her a secret. If Howard Stark had a daughter, surely there would be something about her. She had existed. Loki had said so. And Steve trusted Loki's memory more than a lack of paper trail.

Especially since Steve was stuck scrolling through all the archived newspapers instead of finishing some homework that he left for the last minute. In the quiet school library, hidden away in a secluded corner, Steve delved into his own investigation. Desperately needing to understand why he was having these strange vis--

"Boo!" Sharon whispered in Steve's ear, poking Steve's sides.

Nearly jumping entirely out of his skin at the surprise, Steve held his chest as he looked over at Sharon with wide eyes while trying to catch his breath. Sharon held her hands up in surrender, but she was also trying not to laugh at pulling one over on Steve.

Removing his glasses, Steve rubbed at his tired eyes and deadpanned, "I guess, ya got me."

"Yeah, I did," Sharon giggled and pulled up a chair beside him. Gesturing towards the computer screen, Sharon curiously asked, "What cha up to, Rogers? Shit, I didn't forget a history project, did I?"

"Nah," Steve reassured. Hoping that she hadn't looked too deeply into the newspaper clippings that were currently on the screen, Steve casually closed the tabs, "Just… bored."

"Bored?" Sharon quirked a brow and watched as Steve logged off the school computer. Steve nodded, but Sharon didn't seem too convinced. For a moment, Steve attempted to think up an excuse, but stopped when Sharon laughed and teased, "You sure do have some funny hobbies."

"I'm sorry, but who crochets different hats for their friends' cats?" Steve snarked with a quirked brow and a good-humored smirk.

"Shh," Sharon replied, trying to hold off her own giggles as she playfully held her hand over Steve's mouth to stop him from talking.

Childishly, Steve licked Sharon's palm and earned a squealed, "Ew," from the tall blonde. Standing from the computer table, Sharon wiped her hand on her jeans while Steve slung his backpack over his shoulder. Pushing in his chair, Steve started following Sharon out of the library, just in time for the bell to ring, ending their free hour.

As the pair walked down the hallway, Steve became increasingly aware that Sharon was looking at him. A bit hesitantly, Steve glanced out the corner of his eye at the other blonde, still not entirely convinced that she had been looking at him. For a moment, convinced that he was just paranoid. Of course, that changed when Steve's observation was correct. Sharon was watching him. With a funny crinkle to her brows, she studied Steve unabashedly.

"You okay?" Sharon finally questioned, breaking the silence like a spell.

"Of course," Steve lied, nervous giggling being an easy tell.

Sharon pursed her lips like she was trying to decide if she should say something. That was one thing that Steve both appreciated and loathed about Sharon. Sharon was considerate. Thoughtful in the way she spoke. Most times, it was a relief to be friends with someone who knew when not to say something. Other times, when she decided against speaking her mind, it made Steve anxious. Made him worry that whatever Sharon was thinking would be harsh. Harsh, and right.

Wincing with his own decision, Steve decided, "Just say it."

After all, if Uncle Loki had his way, Steve wouldn't be spending very much time with his mortal comrades. So, Steve thought it'd be best to have what they thought about him out in the open. Air out all their grievances before he disappeared to a prestigious art preparatory.

"Nothing," Sharon started, casually opening her locker. With a shrug, she added, "Just seems like you're stressed lately."

Preparing for an argument, Steve felt the words on his tongue. Tasting the bitterness of his own lies as he took in a breath to steady his voice. Before he could say anything though, a mischievous glint sparkled in Sharon's eyes while an impish smirk tugged at her lips, "Especially with this being Stevie-palooza!"

"Oh god," Steve groaned and brought his hand to his forehead, as though the width of his hand could cover his whole face. As though it could hide his embarrassment. Which, it couldn't. The only thing that could do that was if the ground opened up and swallowed him whole. But that wasn't very likely either.

"Oh, c'mon," Sharon playfully pleaded.

Steve peeked through the gaps of his fingers and watched as Sharon pulled out the dreaded gaudy Stevie-palooza pin-on birthday ribbon. The custom made badge was made with different Halloween ribbons that had been found with Great Aunt Peggy's things. Wired black ribbon spotted with orange polka-dots. Beige printed wraps with yellow eyes peeking out from between a mummy's bandages. Decaying green with oozing brains and bones poking out from severed arms. Sheer white webbing with realistic black spiders that occasionally spooked their classmates if they hadn't been paying attention. All of them having been weaved and glued into something for Steve to wear.

"No," Steve backed away with his hands raised to keep Sharon at bay.

"Steven," Sharon attempted to be firm, but found herself giggling as she held it out towards Steve. Switching up her tactic, she teasingly pouted, "It's Stevie-palooza!"

When that didn't seem to work though, Sharon reminded, "We all wear ours."

And it was true. Sam, Bucky, Sharon, and Steve all celebrated their birthdays as week-long extravaganzas. Each had a personal, ridiculously crafted corsage for their own paloozas. It was a thing that they did for each other. Proudly proclaiming their births and feeling damn special for at least one week out of the year.

It had started back when Sharon felt uneasy with people teasing her about being born on the 13th. She hated being called bad luck when her birthday fell on a Friday, so the rest of the group decided to celebrate for a full week. That way, people wouldn't tease her so much. Also, the guys just thought that Sharon deserved to be appreciated just a little bit more.

It also benefited Steve too, considering everyone called him Hell-spawn for being born on Halloween. But it started with Sharon. From then, it became another thing that they did. One of their many traditions that was as easily ingrained in them as their own families' traditions.

Suddenly, sadness started seeping into Steve. How many more paloozas would he have? How many more traditions could he indulge in? How much time left did he have to be surrounded by the love of his friends?

Sharon's hand holding the frilly birthday badge dropped and her brows furrowed as she read Steve's expression like a book. Concerned now, Sharon confirmed, "You don't have to wear it if you don't want to."

Mutely, Steve shook his head. With their deadline ever approaching, Steve took the corsage in his hand and carefully pinned it to his black t-shirt. The damned thing nearly covered his whole slender chest and the tasseled ribbons at the bottom fell the length of his short torso. But he didn't care how ridiculous he probably looked.

Instead, he puffed out his chest, trying to take up more space and dramatically demanded, "Worship me!"

"Don't I always?" Bucky chuckled as he came up behind Steve, smacking a kiss to the side of his face while his arms securely snaked themselves around his petite frame.

Sharon rolled her eyes at Bucky's public display of affection and tossed a wadded up piece of paper at them. Before either Steve or Bucky could retaliate, Sam came up behind Sharon and playfully poked her sides, causing her to squirm away. As she looked behind herself to find a chuckling Sam, Sharon swatted at him and scolded him with a, "You tryin' to give me a heart attack, Wilson?" Which made the boys laugh even more.

Standing there in the noisy hallway, wearing a hideous ribbon on his frame, Steve eased into Bucky's grasp. Placing his hands on top of Bucky's, Steve laced their fingers and rested his head on Bucky's chest. Affectionately, Bucky dipped down and pressed a sweet kiss to the top of Steve's head. He knew that he would give up every last ounce of magic to stay there with his friends forever.

Until, of course, he spotted the same bleeding woman from his nightmares staring at him from across the hall.

[triciaisonline]

A(N  ESTIMATED )  TIMELINE  FOR  SHERLOCK 

PLEASE NOTE: John’s Blog and the show contradict each other at times, in these cases, the show will be taken as canon. In times where the show contradicts itself, if other media cannot solve the mix up, then estimates based on what makes the most real world sense will be used to find an answer.

ADDITIONALLY: I don’t want to get flooded with everyone's headcanons for things where estimates had to be made; but i greatly welcome canon information that might have been missed or ( ie: The Game is Now Escape Room ) have been unable to experience. I also do not consider interviews with cast and crew as reliable sources for the most part, as these answers have also changed throughout the years. It will only be given consideration if nothing else contradicts it and was said without the air of taking the mickey out of us as many interactions with fans have. They like to say things just to get us going. So I consider this less of a word of god and more of a word of the clown.

BIRTHDATES

DATES OF MAJOR EVENTS

NOTES

TL;DR

SOURCES

THIS VERSION IS THE REBLOG FRIENDLY VERSION OF A TIMELINE MADE ON MY OTHER BLOG ( SEE TAGS )

BIRTHDATES:

SHERLOCK HOLMES: January 6th, 1981 ( stated in The Casebook ); making him younger than the actor playing him. However, this does conflict slightly as Sherlock states he was nine years old when Carl Powers drowned, and the article claims it was in 1989, which places his birth in 1980 instead. This was before they gave Sherlock a canonical birthdate in any media, however, and for the purposes of this, we’ll be using the casebook age, and claiming Sherlock was either rounding or misremembering due to the fact his childhood memories are not entirely factual. Additionally, the headstone image shown in The Sherlock Chronicles says 1977, but the previous date is the one considered to be Canon. ( See Notes )

JOHN WATSON: unknown, but somewhere in the 70′s. A popular fandate is March 30th. Judging off of the actor’s age, possibly around 1971, but maybe younger as many actors are playing younger than themselves.

MYCROFT HOLMES: Exact date unknown, but he is seven years older than Sherlock, which puts him to be born around 1973-1974. Which makes him canonically younger than the actor playing him.  02/25/19 EDIT: According to sources, Mycroft is given a birthdate in the Escape Room based on the series, October 20th, 1968. While the October date works fine, year for this doesn't fit the "Seven Years Older" claim on the show. The oldest birth date given for Sherlock is 1977 and that would make Mycroft nine years older than Sherlock, not seven. The year given falls closer to Mark Gatiss' actual age, and leaves me inclined to think that perhaps year for the game isn't entirely factual. That being said, there's still no reason he couldn't have been born October 20th. Based on the "Seven Years Older" claim, stated in show, the best guess is October 20th, 1974.

EURUS HOLMES: Exact date unknown, but she is a year younger than Sherlock, which makes her born somewhere in 1982-1983 depending on when she was conceived. 

MARY WATSON: Unknown, but based on the actress’ age, likely 1974;  but maybe younger as many actors are playing younger than themselves. 

ROSAMUND “ROSIE” WATSON: January 2015. We can infer this because based on how far along Mary was at her wedding, Rosie would have been conceived Mid-April, and if she was relatively ontime, she’d be born late January. 

DATES OF NOTE:

REDBEARD / THE MUSGRAVE FIRE: Between 1988-1989 roughly; there is no clear indication on the show as to when these events took place. We can only summarize based on what we know about other events. We know that Sherlock "began" solving crimes at age nine ( see below ) due to Carl Powers; and we know that Sherlock had to be younger than ten years old during the events told in The Final Problem. Assuming that the tragic events of Carl Powers triggered something in him, making him take extra notice due to his own past experiences with Eurus and Victor; but still allowing time for all the events to take place and enough time to have passed for Sherlock to have rewritten the story so completely in his head where he can be suspicious but not fully triggered; I'd place him as seven or eight during these events.

THE CARL POWERS DEATH: 1990

*see notes for Sherlock’s birthday

UNIVERSITY: Sherlock attended the same school as Sebastian Wilkes in the early 2000s. Exact years, and if they were at school for the same duration of time is unknown; but he last saw the man roughly eight years ( if Wilkes can be trusted for accuracy ) prior to The Blind Banker, which would be somewhere in 2002/2003

SHERLOCK AND JOHN’S FIRST MEETING: January 29, 2010

CASE: A STUDY IN PINK: January 30th, 2010

CASE: THE BLIND BANKER: March 23rd-March 27th; inferred by Sherlock deducting the incorrect date on Wilkes’ watch and the on-screen passage of time.

Sherlock traveled to and from Minsk sometime between the events of The Blind Banker and The Great Game; based on the dates given, as well as the close air dates of the two episodes, it’s to be believed that Sherlock left and returned from Minsk on March 28th. This is also made plausible due to the funding Sherlock seems to have for himself, his impatience and the fact that it is a three hour flight each way. 

BAKER STREET BOMBING: March 28th; evening

CASE: THE GREAT GAME: March 29 - April 1st; we know this based on both the blog posts and Sherlock updating his website with the case answers. However, the blog post was edited from the original date of April 6th after it’s initial publication. The reason for this is unknown.

DURATION OF SERIES ONE: January 29th, 2010 - March 29th, 2010: three months exactly.

MISC: John and Sarah go to New Zealand for a week and breakup ( April 2010 )

TRIP TO BUCKINGHAM PALACE ( A SCANDAL IN BELGRAVIA ): September 15th, 2010

IRENE MEETING: September 15, 2010

BAKER STREET CHRISTMAS PARTY: December 25th 2010  

IDENTIFYING IRENE’S BODY: December 25th, 2010 

IRENE REVEALS SHE’S ALIVE: December 31st, 2010

JOHN PUBLISHES THE CASE: March 12th, 2011;

We don’t know the exact amount of time transpiring between New Years Eve and this point. Based on his track record, it’s likely January 15th is meant to be the date that Sherlock is told Irene is in Witness protection ( John seems to publish immediately, regardless of how tasteful it might be to reveal details of recent cases ). This gap would cover everything from Irene arriving at Baker Street, Sherlock going to the airfield, him beating Irene at the game, and saving her in Karachi. It’s likely, considering how erratic Sherlock is by early March with no cases, that the day John tells Sherlock the lie, is around late January / early February. Allowing Sherlock enough time to have done all of this as well as get riled up in time for Baskerville, which had to have occured before March 16th

CASE: THE HOUNDS OF BASKERVILLE: Early March 2011; by best estimates given as John doesn’t take too long to post his accounts of the events, and he had already finished typing up the case prior.

BASKERVILLE CASE POSTED: March 16th, 2011. This is also the same date Moriarty hacks John’s blog with a video of him inside of their flat. Suggesting he’s already free from his interrogation shown at the end of The Hounds of Baskerville.

The dates surrounding Sherlock’s death and The Reichenbach Fall are highly questionable as the episode, the blog, and logistics for certain events all contradict each other. Joe Lidster, who wrote John’s real world blog, has comically said that Moriarty hacking the blog gave it a virus that messed with the dating system, as a tongue in cheek explanation. Meaning if we were to take that as fact, all the dates in the blog could be false. The newspapers shown in the episode, have dates that suggest different things. I’ve chosen the one which makes the most sense, based on the news reel clip on John’s blog, the statement that he went to therapy three months later, the school holiday schedule for the abduction of the Ambassador’s children and several other people’s attempts to sort this all out. An alternative version can be found here.

MORIARTY’S ROBBERIES: Late March, by best guess. Possibly a bit earlier.

MORIARTY’S TRIAL / RELEASE: April 2011

MORIARTY’S PLAN TO RUIN SHERLOCK: June 12-June 14th, 2011

MORIARTY COMMITS SUICIDE / SHERLOCK FAKES HIS: June 14th/15th; the 15th is the more commonly believed date.

JOHN CONFIRMS ON HIS BLOG: June 16th, 2011

JOHN VISITS SHERLOCK’S GRAVE: Mid/Late June 2011

TOTAL SERIES TWO DURATION: March 29th, 2010 ( The Pool ) - June 2011. Fifteen Months / One Year and Three Months

SHERLOCK DISMANTLES MORIARTY’S NETWORK: June 2011 - Late October / Early November 2013

MARY MAKES HER FIRST COMMENT ON JOHN’S BLOG: April 20th, 2013

JOHN POSTS OLD CASES: April 2013 - October 5th, 2013

WEBISODE ( MANY HAPPY RETURNS ): October 5th, 2013

SHERLOCK RETURNS: Late October / Early November 2013

JOHN ALMOST BURNED ALIVE: Guy Fawkes Day, November 5th, 2013

CASE: THE EMPTY HEARSE / #SHERLOCK LIVES: November 7th, 2013

JOHN AND SHERLOCK’S VARIOUS CASES: November 2013 - May 2014

Another case of Blog vs Screen; John and Mary’s wedding invites are shown throughout The Sign of Three with the date May 13th, while John’s blog states it was in August. The blog is deemed incorrect in this case, as well as his entries about the cases Sherlock reads at the Wedding

ROSIE WATSON IS CONCEIVED: Mid April 2014

JOHN AND MARY’S WEDDING: May 13th, 2014; ( see above note about The Sign of Three )

His Last Vow has the opposite problem as the series finale prior, in which next to no dates are given. We only know the dates at the end of the episode. Just that the events of John getting restless, Sherlock using again, Magnussen visiting, Sherlock being shot, Sherlock leaving early to confront Mary, Sherlock leaving to confront Magnussen, John confronting Mary, Sherlock being taken to Hospital again and being released all happen between May 13th and December 25th, 2014. It can take a couple months for gunshot victims to be released from Hospital, depending on the severity. Applying Mycroft Rules and Television Rules we know that Sherlock likely didn’t stay the time a regular patient would have. Knowing Sherlock he would have wanted out as soon as possible. We know John and Mary were at odds for a bit, reconciling on Christmas. Plus there needed to be time for Sherlock to fake date Janine, John to reach the level of restlessness there was and get Charles’ attention. So these next few dates are estimates. The majority of the scenes shown in episode are out of order and happen in two time periods, before Mary’s revealed and Christmas Day. 

JOHN BREAKS INTO THE DRUG DEN / MAGNUSSEN VISITING BAKER STREET: September / October 2014

SHERLOCK GETTING SHOT:  September / October 2014

SHERLOCK SNEAKING OUT OF HOSPITAL TO MEET MAGNUSSEN AND MARY:  Early/Mid October 2014; presuming based on deleted scenes depicting a Sherlock who was unable to move for a while in recovery that this was maybe days or weeks later when it was deemed safe to wake him up from medically induced coma.

JOHN CONFRONTING MARY: October 2014 ( same day as above )

SHERLOCK RELEASED FROM HOSPITAL: Mid-December 2014, inferred by how the family and friends act as if it was more recent while at the Holmes’ family home.

SHERLOCK SHOOTS MAGNUSSEN: December 25th, 2014

SHERLOCK BOARDS THE PLANE / MORIARTY’S VIDEO GOES LIVE: December 31st, 2014 / January 2nd, 2015; the show itself provides two different accounts of this. Mycroft states in His Last Vow, that Sherlock was in holding for a week, placing the scene at the tarmac in Early January 2015; however, the introduction to The Abominable Bride places the scene with onscreen text in 2014 still. The only way both can be remotely accurate is if Mycroft is rounding up, and it’s December 31st, 2014.

DURATION OF SERIES THREE: Fall 2013 - Winter 2014;  just over one calendar year.

CASE: THE ABOMINABLE BRIDE ( REAL WORLD ): December 31st, 2014 / January 2nd, 2015 ( see above )

The first scene of The Six Thatchers, along with the real world scenes of The Abominable Bride and the final scenes of His Last Vow are the same day.

SHERLOCK IS ACQUITTED OF CRIMES:  December 31st, 2014 / January 2nd, 2015 ( see above )

ROSIE WATSON IS BORN: Mid/Late January 2015, assuming she was relatively on time.

ROSIE WATSON’S BAPTISM: March / April 2015; based on many modern traditions, the baby’s age and the style of clothing worn by the attendees.

The Six Thatchers covers the majority of one calendar year, no exact dates are given but we can surmise things based on the shown development of Rosie Watson ( whom we know to be a year old by the end of The Final Problem ). Rosie is shown to have full head support and movement before Mary dies, which is something that happens around six months. This would mean Mary’s still alive around June 2015. Allowing for time in which Mary is on the lam, leading to the aquarium, the following are my best guesses for events.

MARY IS MISSING: Summer 2015 ( how long she was gone for is unclear )

MARY IS BACK IN LONDON: September 2015

NORBURY SHOOTS MARY: October 2015

SHERLOCK RECEIVES MARY’S VIDEO / JOHN’S LETTER: Late October. 2015 / Possibly Early November 2015 

CASE: THE LYING DETECTIVE: Possibly Mid-December 2015 / Early January 2016

Another case of ‘we don’t know how long’; we know Sherlock returns from hospital on his birthday, but the dates in between are unclear. Nor do we know how long John and Sherlock didn’t speak for. Sherlock would have needed a major detox, as well as treatment for his injuries. Based on the timeframe, it’s unlikely he attended any form of inpatient rehab outside of whatever the hospital had on location due to his injuries. Possibly due to either Mycroft pulling strings, or the more likely, Sherlock refusing and signing himself out when able.

We also know that the jump from The Lying Detective and The Final Problem can’t be too long. Even though Sherlock has had a magical recovery from all ailments between episodes, it’s extremely unlikely that John sat on the ‘I was almost killed by your secret sister’ tidbit for a few weeks. Meaning these episodes likely happen very shortly after one another. It also feels unlikely that Eurus would make herself known to John and then wait weeks/months to then begin acting out again once the secret was revealed.

JOHN AND SHERLOCK’S REUNITING: January 6th, 2016

JOHN’S FINAL THERAPY SESSION WITH EURUS: Somewhere between January 6th - January 13th 2016; assuming he went about once a week.

CASE: THE FINAL PROBLEM: January 13th, 2015 - January 20th, 2016; presuming John was able to tell Sherlock after ( not knowing how long he was knocked out for ); and allowing Sherlock and John some time to figure out their next move. This would also cover the attack on Baker Street and the entire event on Sherrinford Island.

ROSIE WATSON’S FIRST BIRTHDAY: Mid/Late January, 2016

OTHER NOTES:

The Entire Series spans six years.

The Sherlock Timeline runs one year behind real world time, with the show’s episodes in universe during 2016, aired in January 2017

Sherlock Holmes would be 29 in A Study In Pink, and 35 by The Final Problem based on the Casebook date. 30 and 36 by The Carl Powers age. and 33 and 39 by The Sherlock Chronicles age. All would make him younger than Benedict Cumberbatch, born 1976.

An incorrect headstone, as seen in The Sherlock Chronicles would make sense with the fact that until The Lying Detective, John states he never knew his birthdate. Which, had his tombstone had it, would make little sense. Providing an in universe reason for this odd lack of knowledge on John’s part. Perhaps John merely guessed? Maybe Mycroft knew he wouldn’t want it known, so they put a fake date? Especially as Mycroft knew he was alive. Otherwise, this is just another plot inconsistency  --- which, I’m getting quite tired of. 

We don’t know when Mary and John first met, but we can infer they’ve known each other about a year from dialogue in The Six Thatchers when John is attempting to propose.

Alternate timelines surrounding The Reichenbach Fall sometimes claim the following dates: Sherlock Testifies: May 9th, 2011; Moriarty is freed and visits 221B: September 20th, 2011; The Kidnapping: November 19th, 2011; Sherlock Falls: November 20th, 2011. This comes from a couple on screen newspaper clippings; but they are contradictory to the stated three month interval stated. It’s up to fans to decide which version they feel is more accurate.

More of a musing, but it’s kind of interesting how many times John immediately runs to the internet to share the details of really recent cases fresh in the public’s mind; in contrast to Watson’s monologue in The Abominable Bride about how careful he is to avoid doing that very thing. Which is even funnier if you view it through the long standing canon lens of John is an Unreliable Narrator

TL;DR:

SERIES ONE: January 29th, 2010 - March 29th, 2010

SERIES TWO: March 29th, 2010 - June 15th, 2011 

SERIES THREE: November 2013 - December 2014

SERIES FOUR: December 2014 - January 2016

WEBISODE: October 10th, 2013

SPECIAL: December 2014

SOURCES:

AO3 META  /  SHERLOCKOLOGY / JOHN’S BLOG / SHERLOCK ( WIKIPEDIA ) / THENORWOODBUILDER @ TUMBLR / BAKER STREET WIKIA / SHERLOCK FAN FORUMS /  THE CASEBOOK ( BUY / FACTS ) / THE SHERLOCK CHRONICLES  / MOLLY’S BLOG / SHERLOCK’S WEBSITE ( official site no longer live, information reposted from various sites listed above ) / CONNIE PRINCE WEBSITE / SHERLOCK: THE GAME IS NOW