#HIS OWN COUNTRYMAN ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

[j-amez]

not gabriel paulista saying the fans were calling vini tonto and not mono. is he deadass???? one thing this situation is showing is who will stand up against injustice and who is gonna sit there and let it slide

[micahdotgov]

spacedogs recs for @aconissa !!!

despite the fact that there are over 700 spacedogs fics, i have only found a handful that aren't horrendously ableist in their depictions of adam, and here they are! however, if anyone reading this has suggestions of fics that also write adam well, let me know!

midnighters by drinkbloodlikewater and whiskeyandspite

explicit, 52k words, heist au, hacker!adam

"Why the fuck are you here?”

Adam frowns, expression one of almost childish displeasure. “Because you need help with computers,” he repeats. “Security systems. They all speak the same language, Nigel, it doesn’t matter what the system is, I can talk to it. Can you talk to it?” Nigel starts to answer, perhaps just a profanity to fill the air and return the room to a semblance of its former displeased normalcy, but the kid interrupts him. “No, otherwise you wouldn’t need me to do that for you.”

swimming in the moonlight by honorablementioned

explicit, 12k words, fluff, hurt/comfort

Adam pauses for a moment. "...A woman moved into three-A."

"All right, now that's lunch talk. So?"

"So, that's all. A man moved into two-A, too, right next to me."

Harlan raises a brow at that. "A man?" He catches the flush that comes to Adam's face and hums. "So?"

Adam pauses again. "...He looks nice."

at first glance by stratumgermanitivum

mature, 9k words, college au, fake dating

Adam met Nigel completely by accident, when Nigel showed up at his side at a bar and pretended to be his boyfriend to ward off an unwanted admirer. A few weeks later, when Nigel asked Adam to return the favor, Adam couldn't bring himself to say no. It was one of the first lies Adam had ever told, but it was certainly not the last.

quiet when i'm coming home by tei

explicit, 71k words, slow burn, secret relationship

Adam Raki has a new girlfriend, and Beth is great.

Then he meets her dad, Nigel, and everything changes.

we are blinding by stratumgermanitivum and whiskeyandspite

explicit, 5k words, meet cute, depression recovery

Living was hard. Dying had been easier, both times he’d done it. He should have given in the first time, before he heard the cello music. He definitely shouldn’t have gotten back up after being shot in the head.

Nigel doesn't die at the end of Charlie Countryman, instead he goes to New York to escape painful memories and give himself a break. Depressed and bored, Nigel's not looking for much, until a beautiful angry boy runs into him with a box of office supplies and changes his life.

gravity by stratumgermanitivum and whiskeyandspite

mature, 9k words, single dad nigel, fluff

They’d met young, and Fane had come a year later. Beautiful boy, with Nigel’s eyes and Gabi’s smile, but. He didn’t meet the milestones kids his age should have met. He was pensive and quiet, he would react strangely to certain baby foods, spitting it out or refusing to open his mouth at all, or cry out, fighting the blankets they’d wrap him in after a bath. He had one toy he played with - a little wooden train he’d been teething on the wheel of as a baby, making it somewhat wonky when it rolled. The doctors suspected a developmental delay, autism maybe. Special care, special schools, learning new things, finding alternatives to things that normal kids wouldn’t find difficult.

Recently-single dad Nigel feels in over his head trying to take care of his son, run a business, and keep them both sane. A chance meeting during a tantrum in the supermarket might just help him along.

+ bonus cheeky self promo (what was i supposed to do, not rec my own fic?)

being with you makes the flame burn good by me :3

teen, 560 words, unhealthy relationships, unreliable narrator

He only smokes after sex ("It's what you're supposed to do", Nigel tells him), or when Nigel is away. But then it isn't about the cigarettes, it's about the reason they feel like home. Adam thinks of Nigel's mouth, and stares at the yellowing wallpaper.

[katherinekrawl]

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Pusher (Refn Movies), Blood and Chocolate (2007), Adam (2009), Charlie Countryman (2013), Hannibal Extended Universe - Fandom Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Aiden (Blood and Chocolate)/Tonny (Pusher), Nigel (Charlie Countryman)/Adam Raki Characters: Nigel (Charlie Countryman), Adam Raki, Tonny (Pusher), Aiden (Blood and Chocolate), Tonny's son Additional Tags: Spoilers for Pusher II, Starts where Pusher II ended, Protective Nigel (Charlie Countryman), Smitten Nigel (Charlie Countryman), adam loves nigel, Nigel is good with kids, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Tonny is in denial, Tonny is awestruck by Aiden, One Big Family, Anal Sex, Accidental Voyeurism, Tonny is a mess, Oral Sex, Anal Fingering, Spacedogs

Summary:

“Excuse me sir, but your baby is very loud,” an unfamiliar voice disrupted the chaos in Tonny's head.

Tonny jerked, turned, and saw a slightly shorter man standing behind him. His eyes were blue as the summer sky, his skin was pale, smooth, and his chestnut, waved hair was neatly combed to the side. Over a perfectly ironed shirt and pants, the man was wearing a dark-green apron with a name tag that read ADAM.

Even with the door right behind him, Tonny felt cornered. “Fuck you,” he lashed at the man as he held the baby tighter in his arms. “I know that, don't I?”

**

When the inconsolable crying of his infant son forces Tonny off of the bus, he finds himself in a small village where the local corner-shop is run by a most extraordinary duo; Adam and Nigel.

As they jump to help Tonny take care for his hungry baby, Tonny struggles to figure out why these two men have such an 'oddly intimate' dynamic. That is before he meets the third member of the household; Aiden, who makes him question things about himself he never dared to question before.

[kiruuuuu]

Kapkan/Glaz oneshot in which Glaz implicitly makes a bet with Kapkan. (Rating T, fluff/humour, ~2k words) - You might’ve come across this snippet on my AO3 here, under 1.5! I’ve never posted it on tumblr before but as I’ve written a second part, I figured it’s easier to have both in the same place :) Enjoy!!

.

A whip crack resounding in the thick summer air, slicing through heavy humidity and echoing off in the distance. “You son of a wet noodle”, Glaz breathes softly and furrows his brows, squinting disapprovingly through the scope to find his target undisturbed, gently blowing in the wind.

“You curse like a girl”, Kapkan tells him without looking up from his small sculpture. It’s not entirely clear what it’s supposed to be, but if Glaz had to guess, he’d have said a mixture of Sledge and a tragically disabled aardvark. Kapkan has recently picked up the hobby of carving and is still in the honeymoon phase, as the rest of Spetsnaz likes to call it, meaning he genuinely believes it’s going to work out and refuses to accept any criticism. It usually lasts two weeks, then the five stages of grief begin until the Russian finds a new hobby and delves into it head first.

“Didn’t you hear Mira when she dropped Montagne’s shield on her foot?”, comes a laconic remark from the side, “Cursing like a girl is a compliment.” Tachanka lies poured onto a sun lounger, ironically so since he wishes nothing more than to escape the heat. The ice in his glass of water has long melted and normally he wouldn’t grace the younger operators with his presence at these temperatures, were it not for the remnants of the stink bomb that Smoke accidentally detonated in the base. Sun is easier to stomach than a stench so bad it made even Smoke himself gag.

“This shot is impossible.” Glaz sits up annoyed and searches for the scarf without the help of any magnification, doesn’t find it – unsurprisingly. Kapkan has tied it somewhere onto a tree and Glaz uses it as practise, though it seems Kapkan overestimated his abilities when he chose their spot earlier. They usually spend the afternoons together, only Fuze absent today.

“Nothing is impossible”, Kapkan objects and almost hacks off his middle finger. Watching him usually gives Glaz mini heart attacks. “You’re just not trying enough.”

His patience is waning. He’s been attempting the shot for almost an hour now, adjusting for wind and distance and whatnot, and is almost at the point where he declares defeat. He’s sweaty and hungry and the steady bitching from the old man and the irregular sounds of Kapkan chipping away at his abomination are getting to him. “Oh yeah?”, he snaps back without meaning to. “Why don’t you try it then?”

Astonishingly, Kapkan agrees. He shouldn’t, he’s always been terrible at sniping and it’ll be a wonder if he doesn’t take out Tachanka’s lukewarm water instead. “What’s the closest thing you’ve hit?”, he asks and drops his carving into the impressive pile of not-quite sawdust at his feet from which he might never rescue it again. Maybe that’s actually the plan.

“Trunk of the tree it’s tied to”, Glaz replies and doesn’t care that he’s pouting now. He dislikes being bested, often refuses to even allow for the chance – he knows Kapkan won’t make it, yet the mere thought of it is distasteful. He stands up and stretches his stiff legs, can’t suppress a yawn and gestures for his teammate to take his place behind his rifle.

“I don’t know why you’re even trying”, Tachanka mumbles what everyone’s thinking from behind his oversized sunglasses. He’s yet to move a muscle since he’s taken up post on the sunbed.

“Don’t underestimate me.” Kapkan wiggles his eyebrows at Glaz (who merely returns his gaze unamused) and lies down on the cool dirt floor. He’s wearing a simple t-shirt that flatters his toned arms and rides up a little while he’s making himself comfortable, exposing a pale strip of skin unmarred by the merciless sun. Glaz is not staring. He’s not.

“You’re not going to make it”, he points out and crosses his arms. No answer from Kapkan who’s lining up the shot. “If you make it, I will literally suck your dick.”

It’s a phrase that’s basically lost all meaning during the few weeks they’ve used it, Fuze overheard it from Mute maybe or Rook and turned it into the ultimate dare, the others adapting and jokingly repeating it every time one of them attempts anything vaguely impossible. So far, no one has managed. Glaz steals some of Tachanka’s water while Kapkan wastes the first bullet. It’s not going to happen now and in a few weeks they’ll start using a different inside joke and –

“You’d better come see this”, says Kapkan and there’s something in his voice that makes Glaz’ stomach drop abruptly. He almost spits out the water and wastes no time in joining his fellow countryman on the ground, pushing him out of the way and checking the scope. He realises too late that it’s going to be a prank that he fell for again, as he usually does, and that Kapkan will begin laughing at him any moment now. Only… no one is laughing.

There’s a hole in the scarf.

Glaz blinks, not comprehending what his eyes are telling him. He’s acutely aware of the uncomfortably warm body next to him and his own breathing and the innocent words he’s uttered without thinking. There’s no chance he’ll ever live this down. “You’re fucking kidding me”, he whispers because he can’t help himself.

“There you go, use grown-up swears.” Kapkan sounds highly amused. “You know what this means, right?”

“No way in hell did he make the shot”, Tachanka slurs from his deathbed.

“He fucking made the fucking shot.” Glaz is furious. Mostly at himself for not accomplishing what Kapkan managed first try.

“Ooh, sounds like someone needs to walk off the rage”, Kapkan continues teasing him while wearing a shit eating grin that does nothing to alleviate Glaz’ frustration. “We can go to the shed to get some water, I’m dying of thirst. Want us to refill your glass, ‘Chanka? It’s probably at a nice kiddie pool temperature at this point.”

“With less piss”, is Tachanka’s only reply and so Kapkan takes it, pours the water into the nearest bush and repeats meaningfully: “ ‘Less.’ ”

They walk back to ‘the shed’, a tiny hut in the woods not far from the base containing various tools, chairs and a sink with running water that’s pleasantly cool even in this season. “I can’t believe you made it”, Glaz grumbles on the way, shaking his head. “How did you even – you couldn’t have –”

“But I did, and isn’t that a shame.” Kapkan holds the door open for him and if nothing else has made Glaz suspicious until now, this gesture undoubtedly should. His alarm bells should be going off full force. Yet all he does is ponder the impossibility of Kapkan’s feat, whether he’s made any glaring mistakes himself, whether he should take apart his sniper rifle to find the reason. “Do you want to get it over with right away?”

His thoughts grind to a halt. He stops. Turns towards Kapkan and finds the door to the tiny building shut and the Russian frightfully close to him. “What -” His voice breaks, he averts his gaze, tries again. “What are you talking about?”

“You said it yourself. You can’t back off now. A deal’s a deal.” Kapkan sounds reasonable, which is the worst thing about it, he’s reassuring him and makes the outrageous demand seem sensible.

“You’re not serious.” The I hope is implied though Glaz can’t bring himself to voicing it. His thighs are growing weaker by the second. This is another joke. It has to be.

“I’m deadly serious”, says Kapkan and he does seem sincere – though he’s an excellent liar when he wants to be. “You’re not one to shun a challenge, are you?”

He pictures it. For one glorious second, he toys with the idea of just yanking down Kapkan’s pants right here and is overcome with a heat wave not only induced by the stuffy air in the shed. “I didn’t mean it”, he insists, “you’re pulling my leg, you know I didn’t mean it, don’t be so…”

“If you really want to do it, you’d better get on your knees.” Kapkan is entirely unbothered by his words, smirking and placing a hand on Glaz’ shoulder, but what really constitutes the last straw is that his thumb brushes over Glaz’ collarbone in a gesture that is entirely too familiar and, most of all, suggestive. He opens his mouth to protest and doesn’t expect the push and his legs buckle and suddenly he’s kneeling on the dusty floorboards, his eyes level with Kapkan’s belt.

Okay. Sure. He can salvage this. His dignity has only suffered a little. Kapkan doesn’t know Glaz is half-hard right now and in this position he’s not going to find out either. Convenient, really. “I’m not going to suck you off.” He enunciates each word clearly in case Kapkan decides to be hard of hearing all of a sudden. “You’re being ridiculous. Where is this even coming from?”

“Look, do you want me to tell everyone that you never really did Sledge’s dare? Huh? I’ve kept quiet as a favour but I could -”

This is when Glaz understands. Kapkan facetiously blackmails people all the time, threatens to enlighten the world about Fuze’s showering habits if he doesn’t stop stealing his food, tells Smoke he’s going to expose his contraband hiding spots whenever he refuses to cease his current shenanigans (which is always), it happens a lot. What most people don’t know: Kapkan is usually not joking. Not really.

Just like he isn’t now.

Their gazes are locked, Kapkan’s considerably less confident than a few seconds ago, he must’ve realised his blunder, must know he’s betrayed himself. He’s looking down at Glaz like a trapped animal, ready to lash out or flee and chooses the second option, switches to the first when Glaz instinctively reaches out and grabs his trouser leg, keeps him in place. They scuffle briefly and hardly with any force behind it and somehow Kapkan loses balance and stumbles and one of his hands lands on the back of Glaz’ head and the next thing he knows is that his face is pressed into Kapkan’s crotch.

All he can think is: Oh.

Because there’s something quite obvious denting his cheek.

The door flies open. “You almost hit me holy shit what are you two doing?!” That voice unmistakably belongs to Fuze who’s standing in the doorway in casual clothing plus a handgun by his side and looking like he just ran a marathon, of which Glaz takes note after Kapkan panics and shoves him away so he’s again able to see something other than the seam of Kapkan’s trousers. To his knowledge, Fuze is supposed to be somewhere completely different while dressed completely different.

You almost hit me. Fuze has a gun for no apparently reason. Together with the guilty and fantastically sheepish look on Kapkan’s face, it’s easy to connect the dots, so Glaz starts laughing. Fuze looks utterly lost by now. “You didn’t fucking make the shot”, Glaz wheezes and would double over if he was standing. He’s dying to know how Kapkan managed to convince Fuze for his participation. It’s an impressively elaborate plan just to coerce him into doing something he would’ve done voluntarily and might’ve done regardless hadn’t Kapkan wounded Glaz’ brittle pride with the claim of sniping better than him.

He can hardly stop giggling, especially when faced with Kapkan’s stony face and the mumbled “let’s never talk about this again, alright?” and Fuze’s dumb ignorant expression. They gather a few chairs, fill up water bottles and Tachanka’s glass and refuse to answer any of Fuze’s increasingly irritated questions.

When they’re about done, Glaz turns to Kapkan and tells him with a bright smile: “You could’ve just asked, you know?” Leaving him to figure out what to do with that information, he steps out of the hut into the sweltering sunshine.

[keyofjetwolf]

Elisabeth: Hate

Poking around at this one is a bit off-script, and I hope @iatheia won’t mind too terribly much that I’m being self-indulgent by going here. I think the sequence for “Hate” though is intensely well done, historically honest, and tonally vital to Rudolf’s character as we enter what is, essentially, his arc in the musical. It’s entirely missing from the Takarazuka version, and I think there’s a conversation to be had in its exclusion, and what responsibilities lie in an adaptation grounded in history. But that’s a conversation not for this post, so for now I’ll simply say that while I understand the Takarazuka version shying away from going here, I think it’s the strongest single example of hollowing itself out. When I was liveblogging it, and so lacking any other version knowledge to compare it to, I found Rudolf a paper thin character whose motivations I could never really wrap myself around. Now, having added the Essen version to my experience, OF COURSE I didn’t get him, I was never given the chance.

Which isn’t to say, of course, that the Takarazuka brought us nothing.

BECAUSE OH DID IT FRIENDS

For Essen Rudolf, however, we’re shown what he sees coming, we know what he knows will happen if he does nothing, and we do it all with the perspective of knowing he was absolutely correct. His struggle and eventual suicide becomes so much more sympathetic AND infuriating, complicating our feelings toward him and making him so more complicated in the process.

So yeah, let’s take a second for a little hate, shall we?

I really love how this is staged, I have to say first up. The chorus emerges from the mist on Rudolf’s repeating echo of “HATE!” They quickly consume the stage, and yet Franz Joseph doesn’t notice them, doesn’t hear, never sees. And that’s incredibly intentional. He doesn’t hurry off stage as this portion begins, he lingers, thoughtful on Rudolf’s words, then walks away, taking the full length of the stage, walking with purpose but very calmly. This serves to contrast in a really fantastic way with Rudolf at the end of the song, so keep this in mind as I’ll touch back on it in a bit.

There is, I have no doubt, a metric fuckton of historical significance and nuance here that I’m not getting. WIKIPEDIA CAN ONLY FILL IN SO MANY GAPS. World War I is a spotty and sketchy thing for most Americans. It’s a complicated clusterfuck that’s not so easily put into “good guys” versus “bad guys”. IT’S A LOT EASIER TO KNOW YOU’RE THE GOOD GUYS WHEN YOU’RE SHOOTING NAZIS. (Though let’s stand in awe of how that’s becoming a more controversial statement every day.) (WOW I’M DEPRESSING MYSELF OKAY BACK TO THE MUSICAL)

My mother and her side are all English, so I’d heard stories about WWI in ways that it impacted my family. I did a bit of reading, because sometimes I like to know things. And I’ve tried to refresh myself and build more knowledge after having watched the Takarazuka, so I’d have more context. But still, I feel I know basically fuck all, so I’m pretty sure lots of details will fly over me. There’s a lot to get here though, even in the broad strokes.

The space left by Franz Joseph as he exits the stage is quickly filled with demonstrators calling for a stronger leader. I SEE YOU MUSICAL. It quickly gets worse.

Hate and violence to those who aren’t with us and those who spread here we will chase off!

NATIONALISM IS A HELL OF A DRUG KIDS. If you aren’t INSERT COUNTRY HERE, GTFO, and  then it gets better!

With socialists and pacifists we won’t waste time anymore!

The Jewish writers and the Jewish women will be our ruin!

If you aren’t the right KIND of countryman, a “real” citizen with the “correct” thoughts and values, we’re coming for you, too. And what’s that? Ahh, the delicate fragrance of rampant antisemitism wafting on the breeze! I’M SURE THAT WON’T HAVE ANY PLAY IN FUTURE EUROPE.

I do think it’s interesting though, in like a desperately efficient and terrifying way, how they very specifically drill down that antisemitism to Jewish writers (the spread of ideas) and Jewish women (the spread of people). It encapsulates the utter blinding hatred of Jews so well that I both admire the writing skill and feel sick at the same time. Kudos? I guess??

The demonstration continues. The hate builds. More and more people join on-stage. The lighting gradually increases, the chanting grows louder. No longer whispers in the shadow, but heart-felt declarations made public.

It’s legitimizing. It’s spreading.

Now not just “demonstrators”, but government leaders, reporters informing the public, educators teaching the next generation. So that’s awesome!

Someone wanders through all this and wonders what’s going on. Lucheni joins him and answers, and I’ve spent a bit of time on why Lucheni, and why now. To this point, he’s been lingering on the fringes. As our guide and narrator, he’s outside of time, with the unique perspective of how all the pieces fit together. I think he’s coming in now as a critic, with his usual mix of irreverent anger, to very directly condemn what we see building. Which may seem like a no-brainer, but I’ll point out again how fucking relevant every second of this is to the world right now on this beautiful day in May 2019.

ANYWHO, the passerby wonders what’s going on. “A demonstration, signore,” Lucheni explains. “Nationalists, antisemites, supporters of Schönerer.”

(“Who’s Schönerer?” I innocently asked Wikipedia. “HITLER’S INSPIRATION.” Wikipedia replies.  “oh.”)

“Outrageous!” the passerby says, visibly startled by this news.

“The 20th century. It’s approaching!” And with this, Lucheni walks off-stage, paying no mind as the passerby is viciously beaten with his own cane by the demonstrators.

Those demonstrators once again swarm the stage, spitting at the beaten passerby and reiterating their core mantra: “Hate and violence to those who aren’t like us! And those that spread here, we will chase off!” Question them? Express the slightest hint of disagreement? Hate and violence!

More chilling, the demonstrators are no longer just a gathering of individuals. They’re beginning to march in formation, literally falling in step together.

They’re organizing.

Lucheni takes center stage again, but this time it’s just him. The demonstrators are still present, their voices responding to him from the darkness, but otherwise, he stands alone.

AND BRINGS ELISABETH BACK INTO IT

Again, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about why the show uses Lucheni here and now. Setting aside my massive ignorance YET AGAIN, I’m not finding anything that indicates Lucheni was particularly antisemitic (the “problem” with Heinrich Heine? I’LL GIVE YOU ONE GUESS.). Lucheni may well have been, but, you know, in a low-key chill sort of way. By which I mean, his deal seems to have been first and foremost about anarchy, not antisemitism or racism. So why have Lucheni be this voice? Why this protest?

And my thought is that we’re dipping for the moment into the “real” Lucheni, rather than the version who’s been taking us on this journey. Or, perhaps another way to look at it is that he represents the growing anti-imperial anarchist movement of the time. He/They may not have specifically been antisemitic, but they were more than happy to wield antisemitism as a tool for their own ends. Fan those flames, and give zero shits about who gets burned.

I think this may be the strongest indictment of Lucheni/anarchists in the musical. Throughout, I feel it mostly comes down on the side of ... if not sympathy, exactly, then of understanding. Elisabeth is complicated, and so, too, would be the feelings about her, particularly for the common people who, as a group, both adore her and suffer at her whims. But Lucheni taking voice here, whatever his motivation, is siding with and inciting those who embody hate and violence, who we know will perpetrate unthinkable atrocities in that name of that hate. The musical doesn’t turn away from the culpability that Lucheni, and those like him, have in not just allowing this but enabling it, ENCOURAGING it.

His piece said, Lucheni runs off-stage, back into the shadows as the demonstration reaches fever pitch.

They march toward the front of the stage, furious but orderly, chaos but contained. The chanting continues, but the marching changes. It becomes a goose-step. There are elaborate hand gestures, and still they all move as one. Finally, it concludes as it must.

The lights slam up, then drop, leaving only one figure on stage.

Rudolf, alone. Not walking past all this like his father, but staring at it directly, unable to look away.

This is what Rudolf sees in their future. Not just the fall of the Hapsburgs, but house after house throughout Europe, the suffering of people in the wake of those conflicts and power vacuums, setting the world stage for even more horrors to come. He KNOWS it’s coming, he can hear it, and the burden of what to do about it falls squarely on his shoulders.

“Hate” is so crucial, I feel, to understanding Rudolf’s thoughts and actions to come in the musical. Without knowing what he sees (things which we know to be true), his motivations against his father make no sense, his longing for some kind of understanding and comfort from his mother make him seem emotionally undeveloped, his desperation lacks weight, and his suicide is reduced to a plot point for Elisabeth rather than the final surrender of hope that we could avoid the inevitable.

And it’s so well done! Really, the way the whole sequence just builds and builds, before abruptly cutting off at this evocative moment, leaving Rudolf its only witness. Just fantastic, I loved it.

IT TOOK ME LIKE A MONTH TO GET MY THOUGHTS TOGETHER TO WRITE THIS POST. One that wasn’t even requested, but again, I hope no one minds too terribly much that I took us down this detour. For as much as I carried on about it, it’s just under two minutes, and if you have those two minutes to spare, I would encourage you to put them here.

[roxannepolice]

Ur the only bitch in the house respect. Seriously though, I saw TLJ and liked better than Tfa because I appreciated it more because i like a bold fuck up more than a safe rehash. But then I saw it on netflix and I had the thought, 'does lf not want me to care about the resistance/rebels?' because if they didn't then quite frankly that's how you'd do it, all the 'failures' boil down to either wanting to kill the ppl viewed as space nazis to hard or being 'too compassionate' and even after (cont)

them being reduced to what? a a couple dozen? they’re all standing around chill like they just broke for a meeting break around a water cooler. meanwhile the big bad who’s gonna be that for at least im betting a third of the finale is on his knees crying. i know its supposed to be ‘crime never pays’ or whatever, but seriously, they’re down to a single ship, they’re potential allies said ‘lmao no’ and the biggest source of funding just got blown up. they’re gonna win and we know that but the /narrative doesn’t even pretend otherwise/. and i thought, oh god maybe it is as shit as everyone says. but then you gave me hope but I still have one remaining fly in soup so to speak. There’s gonna be a ST after the ST and we all know it. It may be 20 yrs or whatever but it’s coming. So how do you idk rationalize the idea of integrating the shadow of the empire with the need for there to be an enemy for the war of the warry stars? stormtroopers are ~iconique~ and it was always the biggest stumbling block I had to the stormtrooper revolution. Why would any company worth its stock swap out an instantly recognizable and marketable baddie for idk some other cgi alien army or whatever? love to hear ur thoughts and thanks.

Thanks, anon, those are some really great points! 

Yes, I am a bit frustrated with the way the good guys™ of this trilogy are depicted as - as a collective because obviously we felt for Paige Tico - virtually invincible, getting not one but two jedi ex machina to get them out of the problem. Maybe I should mention that while I use the ex machina term quite extensively, I don’t consider it a bad move by default - sometimes a lightning from a clear sky can have its dramatic beauty. What is frustrating is when a situation is clearly not hopeless yet the text insists it is only solvable by supernatural intervention, as, imo is the case with rock lifting Rey. TBH, when the resistance run into the rocks blocking their way, my first thoughts were huh, they can blast their way through, maybe a shot from MF will clear the way, or maybe we’ll get some teamwork scene where all the members will combine their forces to quickly deal with the problem. But no, we got Rey lifting rocks with the force and being amazed at herself lifting rocks and resistance also being amazed by her lifting rocks and Luke crying joyful tears at the thought of her lifting rocks - and in result the only character I actually felt for was the man who was faced with his holy murderous uncle basically praising the girl, to whom he offered a galaxy, for dumping him, as practically everyone else in his life did. This is some very human venom that gets spit in the I’ll destroy her and you and all of it line. 

But still, I insist the screenwriter who also came up with the You’re nothing but not to me line which is still being analyzed 8 months later and also manged to give a beautiful and satisfying end to the journey of one of cinema’s icons, isn’t oblivious of the contrast between those two scenes and bordering on emptiness lightness of the political subplot. Just imagine how much satisfying the rock lifting would have been if we have seen Rey simply fail at anything before this scene - for example, if before taking up the ls to train she wasn’t training with her staff only, exactly, trying to put rocks on top of each other - and failed and then picked up the ls in frustration. Then her “apotheosis” at the end would feel much more earned and it’s really basic rules of storytelling I point out, so it’s not a matter of Rian Johnson being Fellini and Antonioni and also my countryman Roman Polański all rolled into one only a good movie making craftsman that he is to figure this out. Of course, there is much symbolism and subext to this scene but again - the subtext and symbolism in the overall movie point out to an ending more complicated than gratuitous dragon slaying.

Ending the whining and turning to the actual question - what about future installments? Well, first of all it is very possible that next trilogies will be perhaps closer to usual action based movies, maybe not completely dropping the deeper psychoanalitical symbolism but also not operating on it like the Skywalker saga has been and should be so till the end. It very often seems to us that once we finish the psychoanlysis all our problems will disappear but that’s really not the case - it may be that they’re only about to commence. TBH, I was fully prepared for this trilogy to drop the jungian elements, since RotJ could technically be the end of individuation - Luke reconciled his father’s self and shadow, as well as understood his own shadow. So when tfa’s opening crawls informed me the new villains are actually old villains revamped I felt almost disappointed - only to be positively surprised by one of the stormtroopers turning out to be trilogy’s hero. Still, after tfa itself I was inclined to think creators were just too lazy to come up with something new and maybe are giving some commentary on neo-bad things springing up across the globe. But tlj and additional materials made me think that they really have something new to say about the conflict. Ex-imperials were exiled rather than reintegrated or even imprisoned, galactic history kept Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader seperate entities, finally Anakin’s denied shadow was directly complicit in his grandson’s fall - all that reeks of repression and the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. Because Leia would, and as it turned out did, find it much harder to deal with her father’s memory than Luke, as it wasn’t he who was held still to watch his whole planet get blown up - and yet it was Leia who passed the Darth Anakin genes on, so obviosuly she would have to deal with her father someday.

Tell your sister you were right, the actual last words Anakin has ever spoken, take on a brand new meaning now, don’t they?

But  perhaps more importantly, as far as storytelling and marketing are concerned - the real question isn’t why should they drop iconic villains only how long can they actually keep up the same villains without them losing all dramatic value? Aside from the movies repeatedly employing storytelling devices to keep us unworried about the heroes, that’s the main reason why the political conflict in this trilogy is so emptily obvious, or at least, as I hope, seems emptily obvious. Now, of course, you never really expect villains to win in kids’ movies but a new villain is always someone that needs to be introduced, recognised, have his methods and motives exposed - and that iteself makes the story more interesting. A new villain is someone heroes need to learn, adjust to and this is what triggers their own inner journeys as well as tells the audience something new. Rebels and empires are basically angels and demons at this point and how may times can you watch white clad blondes with circles vanquish red-and-black clad brunets with horns as you know there’s no way it won’t end this way? Empires are Star Wars equivalents of Daleks and let’s face it it’s the Weeping Angels that scare us now, Daleks we just want to exterminate our sadness.

also dr Who bases on time travel so linear storytelling doesn’t apply

The only type of villain that can stay the same for who knows how many episodes is the mastermind with a secret organisation who always sneaks away - but no massive political-military organisation. And even they finally become their own parodies.

I should add, Solo very positively surprised me in this aspect - actually I would say it’s the Stories that keep me so optimistic about this trilogy, what with Galen Erso, Saw Guerrera and imperial officials from a Forman movie - with their depiction of crime syndicates. Dryden Vos isn’t your usual chaotic neutral criminal that’s still lesser evil than evil empire - it’s he who used up Enfys’s people resources of coaxium, yes, to sell them to the empire, but it was still he who was responsible. This really makes me think Disney-LF has some wider vision of the GFFA - and there are more potential for conflict there than just angels and demons RRR and Hugo Boss uniforms

And to wrap up, don’t forget our beloved turtle like helmets I can’t be the only one who always thought of turlte shells looking at stormtoopers? technically started as the good guys - so it’s possible we’ll keep their iconicness.

[daddyoshie]

It's Not the End, It Just Feels Like It

Rating: T Relationships: Marcus Johansson & Evgeny Kuznetsov, Nicklas Backstrom & Andre Burakovsky & Marcus Johansson Characters: Marcus Johansson, Nicklas Backstrom, Andre Burakovsky, Evgeny Kuznetsov, Christian Djoos, Alex Ovechkin, TJ Oshie, Washington Capitals Ensemble, mentions of many New Jersey Devils Words: 2k Summary: Marcus is traded to the Devils, and no one is happy about it, least of all Marcus himself. He doesn’t know what he’s going to do after being ripped away from the organization he’s played with his entire career. He’s having trouble adjusting; after all, this team isn’t his family.

This is my first real attempt at writing fic. I’ve got ideas for longer works, but I’ve completed something shorter just to see how it is. This hasn’t been beta’d, as I don’t really have people to do that, so forgive me for that. Let me know what you think and I can work on some improvements. Also, this story is not a happy one, it’s barely even heartwarming. Enjoy!

Some trades just worked out for the better of everyone. Sometimes, you just clicked. When TJ was traded to the Capitals, it was like he’d been in Washington his entire career. He got along with the players, made quick friends, and fit in nicely and carved out his role on the ice. Whatever combination of people and personalities just worked, and everyone was happy.

The same couldn’t be said for Marcus.

He was sleeping when he was traded. When he woke up, the face of his phone was an endless stream of texts and notifications; the Internet had had hours to brew about this before he saw it for himself.

The hardest part was telling Amelia; she had been getting so comfortable, she’d made so many friends, and he knew she enjoyed it here, like he did. She wasn’t going to be happy. She took it remarkably well, and Marcus made sure to thank her for that; even if Marcus wasn’t showing it on the outside, he was torn to shreds on the inside.

The Washington Capitals were all he’d ever known. Seven years he’d spent in a Caps uniform, working through the Caps organization. And now all of that was gone. Washington had always been his home in America. Now he’d have to move to a new city (Jersey, of all places), learn a new system, and, worst of all, play with different teammates. That was the part he was dreading the most. After spending seven years with the same organization, he’d grown up and played with the same guys. And they were so close. They felt like his family. And now he wouldn’t be seeing them anymore.

The entire thing shook him, to say the least. Marcus wasn’t one to toot his own horn, but he’d felt like an important part of the team, somewhat. He’d just recently signed a new deal, he’d had a career year, and life was looking good. And then the rug was yanked out from under him. Logically, he knew that it was all a part of the business, but he couldn’t help but feel that he wasn’t important, that he didn’t matter, that they didn’t care.

He didn’t get a chance to say a proper goodbye to any of his teammates. It was the offseason, he was in Sweden, and everyone was spread out all over the world. Teammates flooded his phone with messages. Some of them were already gone, like Schmidty in the expansion draft and Alzy, Stick, Winnie and Shatty to free agency, and they’d already said their farewells, but everyone else had a lot to say to him. Some were polite and gave him a general, “This sucks, but I wish you the best” (Nisky, Lars, Carly, etc.), some were more tearful (Burky), and some swore vengeance and made plans to kidnap him from Jersey (Kuzy, Whip). Marcus accepted their sentiments with gratitude, and he said his goodbyes the best he could, but he didn’t know if he was saying the proper things. What in the world do you even say to your teammates when you’re traded? “I’m leaving, even though I really don’t want to, and I hope I beat you guys the next time I see you”? It didn’t feel right, all these goodbyes. He didn’t want it to be the end.

He texted Nicky almost endlessly. Nicky had always been one of his rocks, and now he needed him more than ever. He assured Marcus that this wasn’t his fault, and that everything would be okay. If nothing else, it was still just hockey. Marcus appreciated Nicky’s calming words, but they didn’t calm him as much as they should have. No offense to Nicky, but he’d never been traded. He didn’t speak from experience.

TJ, on the other hand, did. Marcus started texting him a bunch, too, asking for advice on dealing with the trade, moving to a new city, and meeting new teammates. And TJ was very helpful. Albeit, TJ was a lot more extroverted and much less awkward than Marcus, so this was probably all a breeze for him, but it helped Marcus. One of TJ’s pieces of advice stuck with him: “The other guys will know you’re coming, and they will reach out to you like Ovi and Carly did for me. Let them help you, and just go with the flow.” He wanted to wholeheartedly trust TJ, but he knew that not everyone was Ovi.

The Devils were nice and everything. Before training camp, he’d gotten texts from Andy Greene and Adam Henrique welcoming him to the team and saying how excited they were to meet him and work with him. But even as camp got started, he didn’t really feel like he fit in. There was no one he really gelled with. In Washington, Nicky had always been there to guide him, and Ovi had been like a big giant mama bear. But this wasn’t Washington. He had to throw everything he’d ever known out the window.

The guys were nice. Greene, Henrique, Schneider, Zajac, and even Taylor Hall all tried their best to make him feel welcome and a part of the team. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that he didn’t belong. Putting on the Devils jersey still felt wrong. It didn’t help his acclimation that New Jersey didn’t have a single Swede on their roster. He’d lived in the States for a long time, it wasn’t like he didn’t know English, but it would have helped him just a little if there was someone he could speak Swedish to. A fellow countryman, to help him feel just a little bit at home.

He almost cried when a young Swede made the team out of training camp. In an ideal world, Marcus would have loved for a Swede closer to his age to help him in the transition to a new team, but at that point Marcus would have taken anything. The kid was nineteen - younger than fucking Burky. Marcus took Bratt under his wing, of course; even if he was almost ten years older than him, he desperately wanted another Swede around. But he wasn’t the same as Burky - no one was the same as Burky.

They faced the Capitals within the first two weeks of the season. Part of Marcus wished it wasn’t until later so he could be more settled before seeing the whole team again, but part of him just wanted to get it out of the way so he could move on from those emotions (though he knew the real emotional turmoil would come in December, when he’d go to DC the first time as a visitor). But, in his heart, all he really wanted was to see the guys from the team - the guys he’d come to know as his family until he was ripped away.

The night before the game, he arranged to have dinner with a bunch of the guys. He was texting back and forth with Nicky - there were going to be a lot of them, they all wanted to see him again.

At the restaurant, Nicky and Burky arrived first, and they brought along the new Swede they’d adopted, a blueline rookie named Christian Djoos (a rookie who was somehow older than Burky); Marcus remembered seeing him at a couple of training camps, and their past interactions were brief at most. Nicky and Burky insisted on bringing him along, wanting him to meet Marcus and for them to become a “proper Swedish family,” according to Burky. Those particular words pulled tightly at Marcus’s heartstrings.

The rest of the guys piled in quickly after that. Ovi was there, of course, enveloping Marcus in a bone-crushing hug radiating all the warmth and joy that had been absent from Marcus’s life since July. Kuzy was there too, absolutely overjoyed to see his longtime liney. Marcus would have been lying if he said he hadn’t been severely missing that smile and the patented Kuzy humor. And it was just like Kuzy to greet him by loudly kissing both of his cheeks.

Completing the group was Braden, Dima, Carly, TJ, Nisky, Whip, and Beags. So many of these guys had shared the ice with him for his entire career, up until now. He refused to admit that there were any sort of tears coming to his eyes.

The night went on, they ate and laughed and caught up, and for awhile, it was like Marcus had never left and nothing had changed. He felt a sense of comfort and camaraderie he had not felt even for a moment since he’d donned a Devils uniform.

All too soon, a bunch of the guys had to go. Braden, Carly, TJ, Nisky, Whip, and Beags left en masse, giving Marcus big hugs and fist bumps and promising to check him when they saw him on the ice tomorrow. Ovi and Dima left shortly after, the two Russians giving him warm salutations as they left.

Just the five of them remained. The young Djoos, who had been fairly quiet for the majority of the meal, still looked awkward, as if he wasn’t sure what he should be saying or doing. Marcus couldn’t really talk, he knew that he had been the same when he was a rookie, but he did want to try to get Djoos to talk to him eventually. It was only when Marcus turned to him and asked him a question in Swedish that he finally relaxed and cracked what might have been a smile. Though the Swedish did elicit a hurt lament from Kuzy, claiming that they’d forgotten about him.

Marcus laughed and said a few more nonsense sentences to the others in Swedish before Kuzy threw a roll at him, demanding, “Did all my assists mean nothing, Jojo?” Marcus caved for his favorite liney and reverted back to English.

Eventually, though, Kuzy had to leave. Marcus really hated to see him go. Kuzy pulled him into an embrace that was surprisingly tender, saying to him softly, “Miss you lots, Jojo. Nothing like playing hockey with you on my wing.”

This time, Marcus couldn’t hold back the tears. He didn’t care. “Miss my favorite center, Kuz.”

They pulled away, and Kuzy cracked a joke about how he was going to dangle on Marcus tomorrow, but Marcus could see that he was getting emotional. He wiped the tears away from his eyes as Kuzy left the restaurant.

He sat back down, and Burky pulled Marcus close and held him there, as he was oft to do. The mood in the room was a lot more somber than it was just thirty minutes ago.

Nicky, with that soft yet calculating gaze of his, looked Marcus up and down. “Are you really doing okay, Jojo?” he asked, the conversation reverting back to Swedish for the remainder of the night.

Marcus sighed. “I’m not going to lie to you, Nicky...it hasn’t been easy. I’ve been in the same place my entire career. And then overnight, it’s a new city, a new organization, new people...it’s a lot to adjust to. The guys are nice, but it’s been hard to really connect with them. I know I’ll get there, but it hasn’t happened yet and it’s frustrating. And it shakes your confidence. You sign a new deal, and then the next year, you’re traded...it kind of makes it seem like they don’t want you.”

“Management doesn’t know what the fuck it’s doing,” Nicky said bluntly. “Shelling out all that money. Not that those guys aren’t worth it, but it was a disaster waiting to happen. I didn’t think you were going to be the consequence, though.”

Marcus had thought about this a lot. Clearly he wasn’t cut out to be a GM, because he had no idea what he would have done. The part of him that’s crippled by self-doubt believed that trading him was the only option, but he knew there were other things that could have been done to avoid taking him away from his family. Too late to change any of that now, though.

“Burky cried when you were sent away,” Nicky said, causing Burky to turn a shade of deep red. “He called me and he cried, wondering why they were taking his big brother away from him.”

“I did not!” Burky protested.

“Glad to know you love me so much,” Marcus teased, jabbing the bit of elbow that wasn’t trapped in Burky’s cuddle into Burky’s ribs.

“Of course I love you, Mackan. We’re family.”

“He talks about you a lot,” Djoos finally piped in. “I’ve heard so much about the great, wonderful Jojo, who is funny and kind and mean and smart and was the best brother and had the world’s greatest beard.”

Marcus didn’t know how to respond. That’s high praise, even from Burky. He was finding that his eyes were having trouble staying dry.

“I think he’s overselling me, I don’t think I’m quite all that.”

“I would never tell a lie about you, Jojo. It’s all true,” Burky said, that big, dorky smile on his face.

Marcus didn’t have a rational thought for the rest of the night. He was pretty sure he cried, but that was yet to be confirmed. He remembered a group hug, even Djoos joined in. He vaguely remembered leaving the restaurant and walking the Swedes back to their hotel; Nicky gave him some kind of uplifting “We’re still here, we’re still family, it’ll all be okay,” Burky gave him a hug like he never wanted to let him go, and Djoos gave him an awkward yet polite “It was very nice to meet you, I hope to see you again sometime.” But again, Marcus couldn’t really remember; it was like his brain gave out and his emotions took control, and he couldn’t clearly remember what happened for the life of him.

They lost really badly to his old team. They didn’t play well, and frankly it was quite messy. Marcus’s heart stopped when Dima was hit like that, and he almost fought his own teammates himself, but nothing could have prepared him for fucking Burky stepping in and fighting. Complete and utter shock. Guess things had changed since he’d last rocked the red. But then Whip stepped in and pounded the original offender once he left the box, so the world wasn’t completely out of whack.

Marcus knew it would take a long time to truly become comfortable with his new team. Probably longer than it would for most people, given his specific circumstances. But he had to hold out hope that he would get there. Because the thought of playing out his tenure with his new team never truly being comfortable and never truly feeling like he belonged...the thought was unbearable.

[chromemuffin]

Shoukoku no Altair / Altair: A Record of Battles

Another series I will be liveblogging, this time a wonderfully detailed manga set in a fictional version of the Ottoman Empire/Turkey (and written by a historian! how rare!). I guess Captive Prince got me started on a historical fiction kick, and I’ve been eyeing this manga for over a month wondering if I should read it or wait for the anime that comes out anyway...I decided to pick it up.

There are 18 volumes of this thing, so I suppose I should liveblogging by volume unless the posts start to get way too long. Which they may, if I get my hands on raws. I am a huge language nerd, so.

Chapter 1

First off, after reading the blurb at the end of the fan translated first chapter, I found out that the ‘shoukoku’ part of the title is a word the manga-ka made up. Composed of the words for ‘general’ and ‘country’ (a country run by generals), the translator found the word stratocracy (a government ruled by the military) fit the description best. Which is why the fan translations use the ‘Turkiye Stratocracy’, which is great because there is no confusion if you know what a stratocracy is, or take a second to look it up.

Meanwhile, the official Kodansha version calls it the ‘Devleti of Turkiye’. ‘Devleti’ is apparently Turkish for ‘state’ (so the State of Turkiye). Very different, and both good. I love translation work for this very reason. I think I prefer using stratocracy. It’s true to the original, and clearly distinguishes this story as being an alternate version of Turkish history to those who know the Ottoman Empire was a monarchy. There are already quite a few unfamiliar words around.

But. I also find myself liking Devleti of Turkiye haha.

HM THIS WILL REQUIRE MORE THAN ONE POST. There is so much to talk about before getting to the chapter itself.

First: the cover

all of them are so beautiful. The amount of detail in every article of clothing from the hat to the jewels to the pattern embroidered around the hem. And the sword. I know nothing about Turkish history or culture (and forgot what little my american schooling taught about the ottoman empire), but a quick search for Turkish swords yields some examples of the more intricately decorated ones. The manga-ka is a historian/majored in Turkish history which. is great.

It’s a pity the Kodansha volumes are digital only?? I’d pay for a physical copy (but don’t hate myself enough to buy a Jpn copy...historical stuff has too many complicated kanji)

I wish I knew more about their style of dress because it’s drawn so well. I’ll look that up another time.

I really love the asymmetry with the glove he wears for his golden eagle to land on. It’s not in every illustration, but it even goes up to his elbow as it should for a larger species of bird, apparently. it’s just. so much great detail.

his shoes

He has this like teeny tiny waist that is totally out of proportion with his massive hats. Also: how do you even figure out where all those folds go in those clothes.

Also, it uses the Turkish word for ‘chapter’, faşil. I’m assuming that’s the right one, of course. Manga likes to change up the words they use for chapters depending on the setting.

ANYWAY FINALLY THE STORY

Why is one of the months called ‘sugar’ in Turkish (sheker, or şeker more technically)??

Look at him, striking a cool pose. I find it funny that he strikes all these confident poses, but he’s actually quite tiny next to everyone else. He probably does it because 1) he is confident in his own abilities and 2) he’s still a teenager in a world of adults, and it’s held against him in this chapter. His inability to do anything later frustrates the hell out of him as it is.

AND HERE COMES HIS BIRDIE. my favorite already

the fuck this type of bird was supposedly used to kill wolves

and it weighs 8-11 lbs depending on male/female

This kid is stronger than he looks. Although, his is male (named Iskander, so I assume), and the males weigh less (avg of 8 lbs) but still. I guess that’s why he has a male one. The females are massive and would probably dwarf his tiny self.

How is this not a wonderful shot, though.

Also, thank goodness for katakana or else I’d have no idea how to even approach pronouncing his name.

As for the situation itself, we jump right into things with a national crisis.

He looks younger when caught off-guard.

Tell me you did not carry that 8 pound bird aloft on your arm all the way here.

The official translation forgot Halil’s nickname/title “大都市” (large city/metropolis).

And this is where things get interesting. Usually in the peace vs. war debate, one side will always seem unreasonable no matter how hard the characters try to convince you otherwise, but I like how this one is set up.

On one hand you have the side that wants war, sees the enemy nation as a threat, and even throws in that ‘do you want to make a scapegoat of one of your countryman just to avoid war’, though can’t really tell if that’s sincere sentiment or not.

But then the old guy, Halil just says ‘yes, if it means peace’. Kind of a classic argument? Reminds me of Akatsuki no Yona, and the state of their country before the story starts.

this. just. his face. I needed to show the two together. Zaganos is obviously not impressed.

and therein lies the problem with politics: its not really about what’s right. I mean, everyone in the room can probably guess that their own soldiers weren’t responsible. But for all present except Mahmut, the meeting was never about finding out the truth.

Also, I love how he rants to Iskander, and even asks him a question directly as if he can answer.

o.o don’t ask me i’m just a bird

Halil calls him “Mah-kun” in Japanese, but the English version gets rid of this. It’s a pity, since it shows how close they are.

“You only just became a pasha, and now this. You must be exhausted.”

Dude, if he’s exhausted then what are you. You’ve had this position for 20 years.

And! yay! He’s angry at himself and his inability to do anything, rather than be angry at Zaganos. Shows that he really is more mature than he looks (especially with his grumpy facial expressions and petite self lol)

He looks just like his mother. D: poor baby iskander and mahmut

the amount of detail in this manga. see the rabbits hanging in the corner? 

also about the next panel: holy shit he fucking heard that??? his mother getting killed right in front of him, and he managed to stay quiet. poor terrified child like holy shit. and he managed not to crush little Iskander

I’m not going to show it, but if you look closely you’ll see she was not only stabbed in the chest, but also had a hand cut off at the wrist. wtf

every panel is so pretty jslethasdk the amount of detail in every background

his expression here just kills me. he’s just coming to the horrible, heart-wrenching realization of what has happened and UGH

I just really like his range of expressions. He’s just so damn uncomfortable with his elder, a guy he obviously respects and has a history with, bowing to him like that.

How can your heart not break seeing this. All he has left is his bird, the bird whistle, and the container for holding the bird’s meat.

Oh you conniving bastard- I actually thought the Emperor was in on it until the second read through I’m doing now. It was hard to notice since the panel just cuts from one scene to the next.

TINY CHILD YOU. Mahmut is taller than Halil counting the headpiece but he is made to look so tiny in front of adults. I think he’s supposed to be around 17 at the moment?

Man, he had a plan. How the heck did he have time to prepare the animal blood anyway? What a classy way to deal with your enemies.

I’m also happy that the manga-ka can draw birds so well. Iskander looks lovely.

...And that is actually really fucking scary. Those golden eagles are huge and strong enough to take out wolves.

The subtle expressions are great. As is the exchange between Mahmut and Zaganos here. They will probably clash again in the near future, but it seems they’ve gained a little more respect/acknowledgment for each other.

And now THIS, this is very interesting.

It looks like a statue, and that is clearly Mahmut and Iskander. I won’t make any guess though, I’m usually dead wrong with speculations.

I love the lines in this though, so fluid with Mahmut and straight and angled with the knight guy.

onward →

[fragiilexa]

all the even numbers

100 questions 

OH MY GOD. that was a lot of questions lmao

2. Have you ever faked orgasm?

already answered.

4. Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years?

already answered.

6. Why are you no longer together with your ex? 

already answered.

8. What are your current goals?

already answered.

10. Who was the last person to disappoint you?

already answered.

12. Can you keep a diet?

I don’t really do diets? They’re always usually unhealthy & detrimental to your health so I just try to portion food & stuff, pick healthier choices, I don’t like… do weird diets or anything.

14. Do you work?

Not currently no, I don’t.

16. Would you get a tattoo?

Yes, I would love to get a tattoo, I really want one that says Think Positive but the T in positive is a cross? I’ve seen it somewhere before & I’d love that, then also I want one that says ‘I can’t hear hate when I got so much love.’ I also had this really cute idea for getting a tattoo for each of my pets but idk how that one would pan out yet.

18. Can you drive?

No. Not yet I cant. 

20. What was the last thing you cried for?

I cried watching some youtube videos a few days ago, lmao that was fun…

22. Is life fun?

Yeah. It is kiddo it IS fun, it’s like a fun lil’ roller coaster u know? Sometimes it feels like it’s not fun & you get scared but things are all okay in the end, you know?

24. What’s your dream car?

Mini Coop Countryman. It’s just? Super cute? I mean I’m not really into cars, realistically I’d probably get a jeep ‘cause I’m a lot more comfortable with them but, yanno. 

26. Describe your crush.

Super fuckin’ smart, like doesn’t realize it but incredibly smart & determined. Super strong in every single possible way, also one of the kindest people I have ever met & u know also super attractive & jst cute ndngjodeo i luf and u know i jsut amsuper emoitional aobut it ok byre.

28. What was your last lie?

Probably that I did something that I forgot to do? I can’t remember.

30. Is crying in front of people embarrassing?

Yep. I mean at least for me, less embarrassing with friends though, honestly. With family it’s worse & I feel worse but it’s easier with friends I guess.

32. What’s your favourite cocktail?

I don’t drink so….

34. Do you like small kids?

Yes! I love little kids? They’re adorable & I’m smitten, I mean some of them can be annoying u feel but 90% of the time I’m smitten with little kids ‘cause they’re like human puppies u kno?

36. What would you name your daughter/son?

If I have a son I’m gonna name him Benjamin. I haven’t thought about if I have a girl? I mean honestly I want a girl really bad when the time comes but I have no names planned out besides maybe Lila but that might be a little odd if I get the book written, I dunno. We shall see.

38. Is there some you want to punch in the face right now?

Uh, no? Not that I can think of lmao?

40. What was the last gift you gave?

Pretty sure I gave my Mom something but I can’t remember what it was.

42. Favourite place to shop at?

Shop for what? I dunno Target?

44. How old were you when you first got drunk?

I have yet to get drunk yet. I’ll let u kno when it happens tho ok fam?

46. How old were you when you first had sex?

I MIGHT NOT UPDATE U ON THIS but also I share too much so I probably will. hasn’t happened yet tho lmao

48. Something you want to do until the end of this year?

Have fun? Idk.

50. Post a selfie.

No.

52. Name one thing that terrifies you.

U kno the usual ole’ demons & abandonment.

54. What would you tell your 12 year old self?

People are gonna leave and it’s going to hurt really bad. You’re not gonna know why it was you or what you did, but it’s okay ‘cause it’ll make you smarter & kinder than them.

56. Any bad habits you have?

I’m a nervous eater? Lmao I guess that’s a bad habit.

58. What was the last thing you cried for?

Those youtube videos.

60. Are you in love?

Wot is love ( baby don’t huRT me donT huRT ME NO MORE )

62. How long was your longest relationship?

whAT RELATIONSHIP? My friendships barely last, lmao, relationship lmoa dsgdfre

64. What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex?

Hm, sometimes guy’s can be really pretentious, also they seem to think periods aren’t a big deal that bothers me & probably just the superiority complex thing. Bothers me. 

66. How would you describe your bad side?

Super closed off bitch who really just doesn’t like people & can like, probably hurt a lot of people emotionally if she wanted too. Sort of terrifies me, sort of hate that bit of myself. I try to be nice but yeah it’s hard to not be super bitter sometimes.

68. What are you living for?

jeSUS FAM. I live for Jesus & all the amazing people He’s put into my life who mean the world to me.

70. Do you like your body?

It’s a love / dislike relationship. I’m constantly trying to appreciate it & love it but I also know I could physically be more fit so I wanna work on that & sometimes being like out of shape makes me self conscious but I mean I don’t hate my body I just… dislike it sometimes. 

72. Ever sent nudes?

llokeodgebhrth no. I have no fun ok gtg.

74. Favourite candy?

Pixy sticks or like, sour punch straws? I don’t know.

76. Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game?

Sims. I played WoW for a… while when I was younger & maybe I might get back into that when I have a new computer or something but Sims is my favorite game ‘cause it? It just is??? It’s the best.

78. Are you religious? Does God exist?

I am & He does. He’s gotten me through…. everything, like I don’t think I’d be here without him and I have been in a very rough patch with things lately with him but it’s 100% just me & like, yeah. But it’s not a pretentious thing though, I don’t believe that I’m somehow BETTER than everyone else. I 100% believe God exists, I love Him & He loves me & He loves all of you so it’s okay, you know? 

80. What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism?

To each his own. I mean personally I love chicken too much? Lmao, but like if you’re an adult & you wanna do that feel free. I’m a little iffy when it comes to like, making your kids be vegan just because they’re growing & it’s sometimes hard to supplement the nutrients & stuff that meat would give your kids unless you really know what you’re doing & I’m 100% against it when people make their animals vegan ( like dogs who are not meant to be leaf eaters ) dogs need meat. But like I said, to each his own, as long as you’re maintaining a healthy lifestyle & aren’t depriving yourself of the right nutrients than I’m okay with it.

82. Do you like Chineese food?

No…. I’m super picky fam.. it just, doesn’t appeal to me I guess.

84. Vodka or whiskey?

Someone send me both & let me choose?

86. Ever been out of your province/state/country?

I’ve been out of state a few times but never out of the country.

88. What are you scared of?

Spiders? People leavin’ me? Dyin’? Big bugs? Suffocating? Getting burnt? Car crashes? Driving? There are a lot of things. Trust me.

90. Most traumatic experience ?

I mean… I don’t know, there’s not like a set thing or anything that’s really happened besides like, one of my best friends kind of like, dumping me when I was a kid & that kind of fucked me up but I dunno.

92. Favourite app on your phone?

I don’t have a phone but my favorite app on my ipad is probably weheartit or tumblr.

94. Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?

I don’t watch it as much as I’d like but I love Remi Ashten she’s adorable & one of my favorite Youtubers.

96. What is the meaning of life?

Show people that God loves ‘em no matter what ‘the church’ or ‘religion’ or any one really tells them, like, God loves you & he wants you in his life. It’s really simple. That & like, just trying to make the world better you know? I am a cheese ball but I’m dead serious, I think all of us have a unique way of going through life and the ‘meaning’ of life may be slightly different for each of us but the true meaning of it all is to just show people that despite all of the horrible things in the world that there is good & the good is God and that like, we are not required to be perfect or to fit some kind of mold to be loved or accepted by God. I don’t know I’m just mush and I want everyone to know that God loves them no matter what other people say. That and make a damn good book at some point. That’s the meaning, lmao, I don’t know im 21 why are you asking me this. Ask me in another 21 years.

98. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?

Sadly yes. Me & My sister found that tumblr post where this kid told his mom that ‘you know there was a point where you picked me up, put me down and never picked me back up again’ and we told that to her, that at one point she’d put us down and never picked us back up again, and she like, instantly started crying and I feLT SO BAD AND I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO IT WAS HORRIBLE. 

100. Can you keep a secret?

Yep. But pinky promises are more solid than just a secret to me, tbh.