#HI GUESS WHO WON'T BE NORMAL IN NOVEMBER

[meerphanim]

{ Click/Tap for better quality. }

Don't think about the past, it's always there anyway.

Don't think about the past, always there anyway.

(P.S Click/tap the Read More for Dreamer!Folly only)

[gallusrostromegalus]

AEIWAM ask: if my Kenpachi Count is correct, Gosuke Kiganjo might have been the previous captain of the 11th that Zaraki killed to get his job. Is that the case? How many problems did losing that co-conspirator cause for Aizen? And how much of a grudge did he hold for the big unkillable brute?

(With Reference to This Post and This One) It started with a pair of oranges.

---

It was Monday, November 11th, and like every November 11th, there was a ruckus coming from the 11th division. It was a faint noise largely obscured by distance and the windows that had been closed against the early winter cold, but it was still present as Now-Captain Sosuke Aizen reorganized Former Captain Hirako's office into his own.

He was luxuriating in the task. It was something he'd looked forward to for a long time- getting rid of the complex musical speakers that droned the worst assemblage of noises that apparently qualified as music, and finally installing a proper filing system in it's place was filling Aizen with a profound satisfaction that he assumed was an overture to his inevitable victory.

The way everyone was pointedly referring to him as Captain Aizen because they were trying to memorize the title tickled him a bit too. Perhaps it was vain of him to enjoy it so much but... well, the little theatrical dance of pretending to pretend he wasn't grimacing and playing up the act of Putting On A Brave Face, only for whoever was speaking to try to reassure him that everything would work out, that he was being so brave, and you don't have to do this yourself-

"Oh no, I don't think I could stand leaving it to anyone else!" He'd respond, and the whispers of how Brave and Dutiful and Humble he was slithered through the division...

...An actor can hardly be faulted for enjoying the adulation of the crowd.

"Hey Bos- uh, Captain!" A boy's voice called behind him.

Of course, it helped that Aizen had been blessed with such a stellar supporting actor.

"Can you help me?" now-Lieutenant Gin Ichimaru asked, tugging on Aizen's Haori for his attention like a normal child, something the boy had learned was enormously charming of him. "-I can't get this thing to stay on my arm." he explained, holding up Aizen's old Lieutenant's badge, the slightly oversized sleeves of his Kosode falling back to reveal his toothpick-thin arms.

"Oh dear. That' won't fit you for a few years yet, will it Gin?" Aizen smiled, patting the boys head and kneeling down, tying it one way, failing, trying another, failing again, giving an enormously defeated sigh, going over to Hira- No, HIS desk now! his desk and rifling through the drawers, and came back with a Safety Pin to hold the badge in place.

"...There!" he beamed, patting Gin's shoulder when the badge didn't slide off his scrawny arm. "-Just don't tell Yamamoto-sama!"

Aizen then turned to look over his shoulder down the hall, where no fewer than a dozen faces peeking out of doors and around corners to watch the scene, and held a finger up to his lips with a small wink. The heads vanished with small gasps, charmed chuckles and a few high-pitched teakettle-like outbursts Gin had once aptly described as "Squeeing".

Scene over and Audience satisfied, Aizen closed the figurative curtains and literal door. Suigetsu pinged softly, Illusion activating- anyone listening in wouldn't quite be able to make out the words, but walk away confident that they were only discussing Division Business.

"You're in a good mood!" Gin grinned up at him, noting Suigetsu's call and the invitation to speak freely. "Though I guess it's not a surprise. It's been a very successful week for you!"

Aizen shrugged, just a little bit smug. "I am allowed to enjoy my laurels once in a while, I think."

Gin laughed, and hopped up to sit on the desk, kicking his feet over the footwell as he fished some oranges he'd taken from the commisary out of his pockets. "Speaking of people who have had very... intense weeks, where's old blind bones?"

"Captain Tousen actually insisted on attending the 11th Division Tryouts, even though both Ukitake and Kyorako offered to go in his place so he could rest!" Aizen said, taking one orange for now and another for later- he'd like to have to work through lunch, he was now so burdened with responsibility, a fun little scene he was workshopping in the back of his head. "...I suppose the poor bastard still regards Kiganjo as his responsibility."

"Hm." Gin nodded, mouth full of orange, spiral peel on the desk beside him. Aizen nodded at the peel and pointed at the trash can behind the boy.

"Sorry, Lord Aizen. That might be-' he swallowed, and tossed the peel over his shoulder and into the bin. '-but it could also be tactical. Unohana-taicho attends every year and within arm's reach of her might be the safest place for him right now. Be a shame if he had a turn, you know?"

"It's a damn shame that Kiganjo hasn't had one." Aizen grumbled.

"Yeah I was sure the Menos invasion would be enough to do him and the Loud Idiot from the tenth in." Gin sulked. "Oh well, I suppose it's good we had a trial run- now we know we gotta really ramp up production of Menos."

"Fortune was on our side in that respect." Aizen agreed, examining his first orange for the best place to begin peeling. There was an art to it, and the practice helped maintain his skills. "Maybe fortune will smile upon us again and Kiganjo will fall to some idiot at the tryouts."

He had just found the perfect place to begin when the ambient reiatsu of the Seireitei suddenly shuddered and bowed, like he was standing inside a rubber balloon and could make out the silhouette of someone approaching with a hatpin. Aizen reflexively jammed the orange in his pocket with it's companion as his head swiveled north like an owl. The incoming sharp point of reiatsu approached at an alarming speed-

BANG!

Whatever it was met the outer wall of the Seireitei. To Aizen's Horror, did not slow down. It was however now accompanied by successive crashes that seemed to be getting closer-

BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

THUNK!

Aizen ran out the door, and slid a bit on the wood floors as whatever it was suddenly flew over the 5th division and made impact deep into the relatively soft earth of the training grounds.

"What the-?" He asked glasses askew not with practiced effort but genuine bewilderment. It took a moment to recognize the massive object now embedded upside-down in the middle of the courtyard, because Aizen had only ever seen it rightside up, and firmly bolted in place. "-Is. Is that the North Gate?" he sputtered, the feeling of surprise now turning into something bordering on Genuine alarm.

"I think that's Fortune's idea of a smile." Gin winced. "We uh... We should probably hoof it to the 11th."

"What?" Aizen repeated, genuinely surprised. "Why?"

Gin pointed in the direction of the 11th, and Aizen sluggishly followed his gesture-

CRACK!!

The outburst of reiatsu was so explosive it generated it's own superbolt of lightning- though whether it was the result of ionization down from the clouds, or worse- came up from the ground, he wasn't sure.

"...Oh." He paled, then steeled himself, clenching fists and inhaling. "LISTEN UP!" he barked to be heard over the growing din of alarm. "Our first priority is to keep the city from falling to chaos until we're told otherwise! Seated officers! Each of you take a dozen men and head to the Emergency rally points! Keep civilians calm, and direct them away from the 11th! Gin, you're with me!"

"SIR! YES SIR!" the assembled Shinigami shouted, and quickly fell in as he and Gin took off with Shun-po towards the scene of the catastrophe.

"You've got speed on me Gin, go scout ahead!" He called and the boy vanished in a silver flash of light ahead of him. He could make out other approaching officers- Kuchiki, his lieutenant with the fancy sunglasses and his grandson from the sixth and Lieutenant Yamada and an emergency troop from the fourth.

Another flash- bright red-orange for the instant it was visible- and he realized Yamamoto himself had deployed to the scene.

"Why does every woman turn into a huge bitch when you ask her to smile?" Aizen groaned.

Even with Shun-po it still took him a few minutes to actually arrive, just ahead of the Kuchiki detachment, and landed beside Gin where he was standing on the roof of the 11th. "How is it?" he panted.

"You want the good news or the bad news first?" Gin grimaced as more people arrived behind them-

"Holy FUCK!" Yelped Captain Ukitake, a man who was so careful with his language he kept a division swear jar.

"What the hell made that?" Echoed Captain Kyoraku, voice trembling.

Below them, the Dueling arena in the courtyard of the 11th had been cleft in twain. As had the rest of the Courtyard. And the ground below. And the Sewers below that- even from up here he couldn't see how deep the cut went- it had to be at least a hundred feet deep, which made it... deeper than it was wide, a terrifying thought.

"Just give me the news, Gin." He said, trying to sound like a Captain in control of the situation, but his voice cracked for the first time since puberty. Aizen shuddered as he realized that all was left of Kiganjo were the splashes of red on either side of The Hole's median.

"Well uh, the good news is that the thing that made that hole was only mad at Kiganjo specifically, and has peacefully accepted the commission as Captain of the 11th." Gin explained.

"Oh thank god!" Ukitake exhaled with relief.

"...What's the Bad news?" Kyoraku asked.

"...The bad news is the The Thing That Made That Hole is now captain of the 11th." Gin winced, pointing him out in the surprisingly calm crowd. "...Also, I think he already knows Captain Unohana because he was awful polite without her threatening him at all, and unless I'm mistaken, I think he knows Tousen too."

Aizen followed Gin's lead with great alarm for the second time in under ten minutes, and barely managed to pick out Tousen's garish orange scarf in the crowd. Mostly because of the Giant man in about half of a ratty Yukata and mostly bandages was standing next to Tousen, hand on the captain's shoulder and grin so broad it was visible even from up here. The man had long, unkempt black hair that came down to the middle of his back and some kind of bundle on his shoulder.

"...I guess we go make our introductions?" Ukitake mumbled, and the other two captains shrugged, then jumped down.

Tousen's expressions were hard to read on a good day, and right now he looked so stunned he might have been hit by that lighting bolt.

"-See, I never forget a face!" The giant was saying cheerfully. "Even if it's in a pho- whatsit. The paintings that come out of a box." The giant was an ugly beast of a man, at least seven feet tall, standing barefoot, and had a strangely long and angular face, with dark, sunken eyes.

"A Photograph Ken-Chan?" the bundle asked, and Aizen realized that the thing draped over his shoulder was the little pink-haired girl Tousen had smuggled in and out of the Captain's meeting yesterday.

Uh-oh.

"Thems." The giant nodded. "You alright Kaname? You look like yer about to keel over."

"I- I'm-" he started to speak and Aizen snapped Suigetsu open to flash the assembled crowd and hopefully catch the giant in the illusion before Kaname could speak and blow the whole operation-

"-PUT THAT THING AWAY!" The Giant roared, glaring at Aizen over his shoulder ...Through an eyepatch? Aizen paused, startled.

"You look like sheep when you run up on 'em at the road at night." The Giant chuckled at him. "Keep yer panties on, it's all done and dusted."

"Really Sosuke!" Ukitake huffed, chopping him on the shoulder to make him sheathe Suigetsu again.

"My apologies for my friend, it's literally his first day on the job." Kyoraku waved apologetically. "I'm 8th Division Captain Shunsui Kyoraku, the silver fox is 13th Division Captain Jushiro Ukitake, and that's appointed-yesterday 5th Division Captain Sosuke Aizen."

"You certainly know how to make an entrance, Captain-?" Ukitake asked brightly, attempting to distract the giant from Aizen.

"Kenpachi Zaraki." The Giant leered down at them. The other eye was sunken and gaunt and an unpleasant shade of yellow as Zaraki studied them in a way that made Aizen's skin crawl, like without suigetsu's Illusion, Zaraki could somehow see him naked. Yep. That's an eyepatch... But why do I have the feeling he can see right through it? Right through me?

"My apologies, Captain Zaraki-" Aizen sputtered, closing the distance and putting his hand on Kaname's other shoulder. "-Kaname is a very dear friend of mine and it's alarming to see a stranger touching him." he explained, digging the heel of his palm into the Silence character carved into Tousen's shoulder.

Tousen made a faint clicking noise in his throat as he involuntarily swallowed the shriek of pain under the Curse's command, and nodded in agreement. There- if I can't conceal Tousen from this brute, I can at least force him to remain silent. The illusion is safe.

"...That so?" Zaraki asked, the yellow eye fixed on Aizen's hand, and Aizen let go before he realized what he was doing. What? Why am I flinching? Who is this guy?

"You've taken to your title quickly!" Aizen smiled up at him, feigning cheerful interest.

"Title Schmitle, it's been my Name since before you were a wiggle in yer Da's nutsack." Zaraki grunted.

Aizen felt his glasses slipping off his face without his permission again. I didn't think there was an expression worse than Hirako's 'since you were kickin' in your momma'...

"Ah, here's trouble- WHAT TOOK YOU ASSHOLES SO LONG?" Zaraki roared cheerfully at two men who appeared on the 11th's roof, panting and enraged.

"HI YUYU! HI BALDY!" Yachiru waved cheerfully!

"Yachiru darling! I'm so glad you're safe!" the lithe, effeminate one waved back before jumping down to meet them.

"FUCK YOU!" howled the bald, muscular one.

"FUCK ME YOURSELF YOU COWARD!" Zaraki called back, grinning as they approached. "Come look who I found-!

Fuck! Aizen suddenly realized that when he'd let go of Tousen, Zaraki had not, and was now herding him away from Aizen, his huge and terrible body between them.

"OH MY GOD! IS THAT KAKIYO'S BROTHER?" the fop shrieked with excitement, sprinting over and grabbing Kaname's hand. "Yumichika Aseyagawa- oh this is DELIGHTFUL! I've heard so much about you!"

"Holy shit! You're the guy that burned down that shitass Daimyo's compound down, right?" the bald, clownish one grinned, shaking Kaname's whole arm. "Ikkaku Maderame, it's such an honor to meet you!"

THEY KNEW KAKIYO!? FUCK!! Aizen paled.

"-Burned what down?" Kyoraku asked.

"Shut up cueball, they acquitted him." Zaraki grunted, flicking Madarame's forehead. "Speaking of- I haven't heard form Kakiyo in Donkey's years, how is she? Running one of these divisions, right?"

"Gin!" Aizen hissed, searching the crowd for his Lieutenant. "Do something!"

"...She's dead." Kaname said flatly, still dazed with the... the everything probably.

Zaraki's shock rippled through the ambient reiatsu like being dunked in cold water. There's no sign of Gin, and no way to silence Tousen-

"What? How?" Aseyagawa demanded, the other two equally horrified.

"She was murdered." Kaname's voice was small, weak and he was starting to sway- the effort of resisting the curse was about to make him collapse.

Zaraki slowly crouched down, perched on his toes so he could pull Kaname close, face to face

"Who." It wasn't a request.

With a shaking arm, Tousen pointed to the remains of the Arena.

SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK!! Aizen felt his heart racing.

"I- I'm sorry. I tried to, but- I can't- I can't I'm not strong enough-" Tousen stammered, trying to speak through the pain.

"It's alright. I am." Zaraki said, voice suddenly strangely gentle, touching his forehead to Kaname's. He sat down, pulling Kaname down with him, half in Zaraki's lap so he couldn't be easily pulled away. "Tell me the details later, ya look like yer about to drop dead. Y'all got anything he can eat?" He glared at the other captains.

Ukitake immediately produced a large bag of candy and Kyoraku a flask that smelled like you could use it's contents for eye surgery. Aizen made a show of patting his coat, and suddenly remembered the two oranges Gin had handed him earlier.

"Uh, I have these..?" Aizen offered the fruits, mentally preparing to skin Gin.

"Good to see one of you is an adult." Zaraki chuffed, taking one of the oranges and handing it to Kaname, who pointed his face at it blankly. "You don't mind if I take the other? I sprinted here from North 69 on an empty stomach."

Tousen shook his head, still silent.

"Good man, you'll be alright. Ta." Zaraki said, taking the second orange from Aizen with a nod of gratitude.

... and then casually bit halfway into it like an apple and chewed, rind and all.

Aizen stood there, dial tone echoing between his ears. Gradually he became aware his left eye was twitching.

"Did. Did you just bite straight into that orange?" Kaname frowned.

Zaraki, to Aizen's horror, swallowed. "Yeh, what's wrong with that?"

"...Nothing at all." Aizen smiled, checking out of this scene. "Excuse me, I seem to have misplaced my lieutenant..." he mumbled, turning on his heel and wandering away from them.

---

Kaname felt Zaraki arch his back slightly, watching Aizen go.

"...Uh-huh." he said, smirk audible. "Alright lads, you got marchin' orders."

The other two men snapped to attention.

"Yumichika- There's a woman, beautiful and terrible as the dawn, with a coat like this 'cept it's got a four on the back. Go tell her Kaname's had a turn and whatever she says you say 'Yes Sir' and do it." he said, tugging on Kaname's haori.

"Sure, that's definitely a description I can follo- oh. Nevermind, I see what you mean!" Yumichika said, catching sight of Unohana. "On it, Boss."

"Er, It might help if I'm there to make Introductions..." Kyoraku offered, jogging after Yumichika.

"Ikkaku." he spoke as soon as Yumichika was out of earshot. "There's a man who's older than dirt who looks like he could set you on fire just lookin' at you, 'cos he can. He's got the Employee Handbook, can you go grab that?"

"...What Employee Handbook?" Ikkaku frowned. "Don't tell me you're quittin' the house? Madame won't like that."

"Madame sent me here today on purpose." Zaraki waved. "-But seein' as I just did a homicide right in front of everybody, the old man offered me a choice. Take Kiganjo's old job runnin' the 11th, or get burnt to ash right there, and I can't take care'a Yachiru if I'm charcoal."

"So... you're a shinigami Captain now?" Ikkaku asked, sounding more intrigued than anything.

"Seems so." Zaraki shrugged. "Funny thing- the Lieutenant and Third-in-command's seats are up for grabs too."

Ikkaku cackled. "Be right back, Captain!" he grinned and took off towards the center of the city.

"Oh, shit-!" Ukitake muttered, looking up from where he had been transfixed by the sight of Yachiru devouring the bag of candy. "Er- Yama-Ji can be a bit tetchy with strangers, I should probably go with him..." he winced, sprinting after apparently-Lieutenant Madarame.

Zaraki chuckled, weight shifting and turning his attention back to Kaname. "...You want some help with that, Little bat?"

Kaname nodded, too dazed to protest as Zaraki took the orange from him.

"That Aizen's a creep, ain't he?" he asked.

"Yeah! Kaname-kun told me to stay away from him, even more than I needed to stay away from Kiganjo!" Yachiru nodded, mouth still full of candy.

"Thought so." Zaraki hummed, fiddling with the orange. "You know what's great about first Impressions?"

Kaname shook his head, just relieved Zaraki was here to keep him from collapsing straight onto the pavement.

"They Stick." Zaraki said voice low and conspiratorial. "-No matter what Aizen sees me do from now on, no matter what anyone tells him, he will believe, at his core, that I'm an idiot."

-And with that, he pressed a perfectly peeled and clean segment of orange into Kaname's hand.

Kaname blinked a few times, turning the fruit over in his hands as he sluggishly connected the dots and, despite everything, slowly broke into a genuine smile.

"Kakiyo always said you were a clever bastard." Zaraki grinned, "Eat yer orange."

---

Aizen finally located Gin, hiding under the narrow gap under one of the stone storehouses in the less-used section of the 11th.

"What the HELL are you doing?" Aizen hissed at him.

"That thing ain't human." Gin whimpered. "I dunno what it is, but it ain't right."

"I agree he looks like a carcass that's too stupid to know it's dead but that's because he's a MORON." Aizen groaned, reaching under the porch and pulling the boy out by the scruff of his neck. "You should see how he eats oranges."

"I'm not kidding!" Gin pleaded, grabbing Aizen's sleeve. "He's got- I don't know, but when he looked at us? It was like he could see right through me!"

"Yes, yes-" Aizen waved. "-but even if he could, I promise, he hasn't got the brains to understand what he's seeing."

"He's gonna eat me." Gin muttered, hiding behind Aizen, peering out behind him in the general direction of courtyard.

"What's gotten into you?" Aizen huffed. "You've never been spooked before-?"

"I'm telling you!" Gin pleaded up at him, eyes very nearly open with alarm. "There's something deeply fucked up about that guy! He's dangerous! He's gonna find me and grab me and eat me!"

Aizen sighed, put his hand on Gin's shoulder, glanced around for witnesses, and finding them alone, backhanded Gin as hard as he could.

"Get ahold of yourself!" he snarled, and Gin flinched. He softened his voice, fingertips under Gin's chin, tipping his head up. "I'm sorry- it's easy to forget you're just a boy sometimes- but we can't lose our heads now, not when we've come so far. I'll deal with Zaraki, alright? I need you to keep Tousen in line- I've gotten him to shut up for now, but it's VITAL that he not speak to that brute until I've gotten him and his two clowns under The Illusion, got it?"

Gin nodded, sniffling, cheekbone turning slightly pink.

"Good boy." Aizen smirked. "I'll leave it to you then."

Gin vanished with a flash to carry out his orders, and Aizen sighed, taking off his glasses to clean them.

"-How do these things constantly get filthy?" he muttered.

"Most of the filth on glasses is the grease from the skin of the wearer. If they're constantly filthy, it may be that you're just slime." someone spoke up behind him and Aizen yelped, nearly dropping his glasses as he fumbled them onto his face.

"-Good heavens! How DO you do that?" He laughed nervously to suddenly be in close proximity to the massive frame of Yamamoto's pet third seat that he'd just assigned to the Seventh Division. No saftey pins needed to keep the Lieutenant's badge on the tree-trunk arms of Sajin Komamura.

The narrow gap in the helmet stared impassively down at him, and for the second time that morning, Aizen was struck by the feeling he was nearly being seen through.

"I didn't quite catch all that, but I did hear the sound of someone being slapped before I see you, holding your lieutenant like that, and he sprints away with a fresh bruise on his face." Komamura rumbled ominously.

"I'm quite sure I don't know what you mean." Aizen glared back.

"I'm glad to hear that. I should hope that I merely misunderstood what I saw, and that there's no cause for alarm." Komamura leaned forward, and Aizen thought there was the briefest flash of the same yellow as Zaraki's working eye in there. "-There are very few deviances the captain-general won't tolerate, but the lines in the sand do very much exist."

"Sajin-" Aizen scoffed, turning away from the menacing hulk of a shinigami. "You may be Yamamoto's Golden Boy, but you ought to mind what you go sticking your nose into, lest somebody cut it off."

There was no reply.

"Glad you underst- really?" Aizen groaned at the empty corner of the 11th Division. "How the HELL does he do that? It's like being stalked by an animal... Whatever, it's fine- Sajin still has his uses, and he'll forget it by tomorrow morning, won't he?" Aizen smirked, affectionately rubbing Suigetsu's hilt, the Zanpakuto purring at the attention.

"Now, let's go deal with that orange-mangling moron." he smiled as he stalked back into the remains of the 11th's courtyard.

[ellaa-writes]

The Bëast Within

author note: Part 5! Ok this is the last part till I'm back in November. Will be gone from October 21st till November 18th. I'm getting married and then going on my honeymoon. So enjoy! I'll be working on other parts while I'm away. :) you can find the rest of the series here.

summary: Omegas are rare, in a world full of Alphas and Betas. Being a Omega was not only dangerous but they were highly sought after. After living your life has a Beta in disguise, you meet a scary Alpha, but not any normal alpha. But a gaint Apex Alpha who won't stop at anything to make you his.

tags: Alternative Universe, female reader. Slight smut. Reader edges König into an apology. Slightly submissive König (but don't tell him that.) A/b/o dynamics. Alpha König is big and scary but not to reader. not proof read

König showed his love through acts of kindness and gifts. He felt bad for smashing your phone, and also as you put it "ruined your life". But he knows your just being dramatic, he spent two full days sleeping in one of the spare bedrooms. You didn't leave the master bedroom, only opening the door after König pleaded with you to eat something.

That's why he's currently inside a jewelry store, trying to pick out a gift that says I'm very sorry but I also don't regret doing what I did. The sales person becoming annoyed cause he can not make up his mind so decided to buy all 3, a matching set.

The second day barricaded in the room, you spent most of the time crying in your nest and enjoying the deep soaker tub. König brought you lunch, and also your new phone.

Discarding the food on the dresser you laid in the nest, setting up your phone. Waiting for the thousands of notifications to pop up.

You immediately called Kalina, you missed her voice and knew she's probably in a panic. The phone only rang once before it was picked up. "Please tell me you're alive." you heard her panicked voice on the other line.

"I'm alive." you replied back. "What the fuck is going on?" she all but screamed your name. "It's a complicated story." you tried to explain but she cut you off. "Are you safe, do you need me to call the police? Maybe the military? Who do I need to kill." she was rambling so fast you could barely make out what she was saying.

"Kalina! Hey Kalina! Calm down will you. I'm fine. I'm alright. I don't need any of that." you were finally able to but in. "I went to your apartment and you were gone, like all of it." she explained. Remembering König's actions, rubbing your eyes and pinching the bridge of your nose. "Ugh I know." you didn't know where to start. "It's been a week! A week of no call, no show, no nothing. And Mr. Wojack said you quit? What the hell is going on?" her voice getting higher and higher with each word.

"If you'd shut up I'll explain. It started that night at the club." you started. "We should have never gone." Kalina but in. "Kalina! Please!" you pleaded with her to shut up. "Sorry, sorry!" shaking your head. "Their was a guy there, an Alpha. I guess he sniffed me out, idk how the hell he knew but he followed me home. I woke up to him in my room, and..... and he marked me. That night, and I've been at his place ever since. He helped me through my heat....I think we are mated now." you explained.

The other end was finally quiet, thinking the call dropped until you heard Kalina'a deep sigh." I knew, I knew he would try. I just hoped I got you out of there fast enough." she said, you were confused? She knew? "What do you mean you knew?" you asked. "Don't you remember me pulling you out of the club? Throwing you in that cab?" she asked. It took you a while to thinking back in it, and then I made sense.

She saw him too, just like you did. "You saw him?" you whispered. "It was hard not to." her voice trailing off. You heard a knock on the door, probably König again. "Kalina I gotta go. I call you back later." you told her. Hanging up before she could protest. Leaving your phone on the charger near the bed.

Walking to the door you could see König's shadow underneath. Another knock came "Omega, please let me see you." he pleaded through the wood. If he really wanted to he could break it down, and he was tempted. Since getting a taste of your omega pussy it's all his dick and brain could think about.

"Why should I? So you can lie to me again." you were being a brat but you deserved it. In less than a week you had your home, job and life taken from you. But you also knew your situation could be much worse.

König sighed, he was going to lose his mind if you kept up this act. He had every right mind to knock this door down and make you forgive him. Even when he didn't believe he needed to be forgiven. In the law he had every right to do what he did. Once an omega is claimed she loses all her freedoms and rights. As she now belongs to her Alpha who is responsible in taking care of her. And if he's unfit of that, then the courts step in and interviene. But you were an undocumented Omega and he was a dead excommunicated Alpha.

Slamming his fist against the thick wood, he rolled his neck to try and relieve the tension that's been bothering him. "Please my love, I got you something." in König's other hand held the name brand bag of the jeweler he visited.

Unbeknownst to him, you had been scheming. Spending your time locked in this room, snooping around. Taking out his military uniform and laying it out on the bed. Also finding a few medals that where also stashed away in the closet.

"I'll let you in if you answer some of my questions." Königs ears perked up, what was this? A terrorist negotiation? But the thought of being in your presence, he didn't care. "Whatever you want Omega." his words making you laugh, of course you'll give me what I want, you thought.

König heard the door click, you unlocking the bolt that secured it close. Opening it a bit before stepping away to sit on the bed next to your findings.

König wasted no time in barging right in, about to open his mouth but closing it immediately when he saw his uniform next to you. "What is this?"he asked. His voice getting deep and low, his instincts heightening. He wasn't an animal you wanted to corner and confront but that's exactly what you did.

"That's my question. And I don't want to hear anything from you that isn't a one word answer or anything that's not the truth. You understand?" you fingers ran along the delicate stitching, tracing it slowly. König didn't like any of this.

"If you aren't going to answer me, you can just leave. And take that with you." you pointed to the bag he was holding. He sighed, setting the bag down on the dresser. Leaning against it, he was feared far and wide. The stories men told about him, yet here you are. Standing up to him, and not backing down. The Beast was proud, laughing loudly in König's head. Mocking him for not being able to control you. But that's not what he wanted, he didn't want to control you he just wanted to make you happy. And right now you were not and it was his fault.

Slowly you were wearing him down, his dick hard and throbbing in his pants. Begging and pleading with him to do whatever you wanted just so it can feel you wrapped around it again.

"I served in the Austrian Special Forces, but things came up and now I'm here." hoping his answer sated you. He crossed his arms staring at you, dragging his eyes up and down your body. "Why did you leave?" you asked. Curious about the Alpha in front of you, his aura was dark and mysterious. "It no longer served a purpose in my life. I... uh I do different work now. Similar but different. That's all you need to know." König was trying his best to answer you but to also keep you safe from his world.

You sighed "König you said you'd tell me anything I wanted." you eyed the giant Alpha in front of you. The sight of him alone making you want to heel over and crawl to him. But it was just your horny omega brain. "I am Omega, there's things you wouldn't understand. I'll do anything to keep you safe." König was growing more frustrated. Pushing himself off of the dresser and making his way to you. Getting down on his knees and placing his head in your lap.

"I'm trying to keep you safe and protected. Don't you understand." he looked up into your eyes. His eyes pleading with you, his bottom lip sticking out. "Than say your sorry." you told him. Lightly brushing your hand through his hair. You slightly started to part you thighs, revealing a silky pair of panties under the dress you were wearing.

Königs ears began to ring, his mouth becoming wet with anticipation. If he was a youngling he'd might even start foaming. The smell of your wet Omega pussy hit his nose, a low growl starting deep in his belly. He tried to push your dress up more but was received with a smack. Knocking his prying hands away, he hated when you did that.

Nobody he knew would dare raise a finger at him and since knowing you, that seemed like your favourite thing to do.

"No." you scolded him like a juvenile pup. "Not until you say you are sorry." he heard your words but his mind and eyes couldn't leave the sight of your pussy. The fabric of the silky panties hugged you lips, a small wet spot slowly forming. König knew from that moment on you were going to be the death of him.

Only if one of his men could see him, if one of the many people he's snuffed out could look upon him from hell. To see this feared Alpha on his knees, drooling at the sight of sweet omega pussy. They would laugh, they would mock him. Just like The Beast was doing now, his laughter louder than anything.

König licked his lips and closed his eyes. Taking a moment to clear his mind, too shut up The Beast and to try and not cum in his pants.

"Omega, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I'll never do anything and I mean anything without your approval." he was a starved man, if you told him to walk into fire he would. "Omega I promise to serve and worship you till the end of mine time." he didn't know what else he could say.

You smiled, your eyes turning bright at the words your Alpha was saying. Your heart skipped a beat and your pussy gushed with more fluid. Pushing up your dress a little and tilting your pelvis till it was in König's face.

"I forgive you." you said. You hands tangling themselves in his hair once again. König mouth attached its self to your clothed pussy. Sucking on the wet spot, trying to ripping through the material with his teeth.

Trying once again to touch you with his hands but only stopped when you smacked them again. He really hated that. "No, just your mouth. And be a good boy and I'll let you fuck me." you told him. Spreading you legs open even more, resting you left leg over his shoulder.

Yes, you were going to kill him. But he didn't care, as long as he died by your pussy he didn't care at all.

Tag list: @plumdreadful @traumaramacenter @kaylp-godly @napalmfairy7 @hisa-plush @ramblingsofachaoticthinker @winters-doll @joyfulfxckery @purebeskar @collete25 @fandomsinthegalaxies @xo-konigs-little-princess-xo @jamieelol @luc1ddreamersatnight @cringeycookies (Tumblr won't let me tag some of you.)

[ashen-vulture]

A Vulture In Therapy #3

The Appointment (Well, In A Few Months)

ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:15 AM

Hey so guess who just heard back from Doctor Erian's clinic after a month of waiting in the dark. I'm not scheduled until November, though Probably was too hopeful of me to think I'd have an appointment before my birthday

tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:17 AM Nice! Do you have an appointment then? Oh, heck, that's a ways off ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:18 AM November 14th, yeah But I guess it gives me time to prepare So… what should I expect going in? I've heard mixed things about Doctor Erian… tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:19 AM Oh boy that's the big question isn't it So for me, and I think for a lot of other people, he went right into the gatekeepy "one letter from a physician, two letters from psychologists, live as your preferred species for however many months" ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:21 AM He can't be too bad right? Oh yeah I've heard about the "live as preferred species" thing. Not sure he'll accept my response but that's one of the few things I am prepared for. tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:22 AM The thing is, I'm pretty sure it's all a secret test of your resolve and how well you match what you want He started hesitating once I got up in his face about how someone is supposed to live as a dragon for an entire year And he folded like a towel once I threatened to bite him But I saw him smirk, I think it was that I said 'bite' specifically ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:26 AM Huh. I guess I have some respect for that. Maybe a bitter respect but… uhg, I dunno, it's complicated. Like there are some things I certainly cannot physically do with my human body and that's the whole reason I want what I want. I really don't like arguing. This is gonna feel like my gallery capstone all over again. "No seriously I do know what I'm talking about, see it from this perspective" (strangling the Imposter Syndrome demon in the back of my head)

tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:27 AM Yeah I don't know if he would have approved it if I'd shown any kind of doubt But maybe it's different for non-predator theriotypes idk ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:30 AM Maybe. I wonder how they'll handle a scavenger. I guess there's only one way to know. Oh, do you know when you'll get your first prescription fill? Does it take a long time? tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:30 AM I'm supposed to get it in September, apparently if you're on gender hormones you have to wait for the one year mark, something about being 'biologically receptive' But you won't have that issue so you might get yours a lot sooner ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:33 AM I suspect part of the wait is having to formulate each therian's medicine individually. Giving me cat HRT probably isn't gonna turn me into a bird. tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:33 AM Yeah I guess this isn't One Size Fits Most like normal estrogen and testosterone are ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:36 AM Well. Nothing to do but wait now. Maybe getting on some of the Therian HRT support groups and hearing some more people's stories will help. Thanks for your input, hope your new therapy medicine arrives on time I might pester you with more questions in the future tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:37 AM Anytime! I'd be glad to help you along on this one ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:38 AM ^v^ (I've started using bird emoticons more, it's fun!) tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:38 AM I mean, you know how long I've been using cat emotes =3 So I get that

ashedink — 11/13/2024 11:01 PM

FIRST CONSULTATION APPOINTMENT TOMORROW WISH ME LUCK AAAAAAA- It's actually happening! It's actually happening!

tigergirltail — 11/13/2024 11:01 PM Gee I can't tell, are you excited? =3 ashedink — 11/13/2024 11:04 PM I am Anxcited Question: would it be considered too much if I came in with a folder of vulture facts outlining how similar humans and vultures are to each other, and how I've techincally been "living like a vulture" basically my entire life understanding that the parameters I need to fulfill exclude things that would literally kill me Because I already have the folder but now I'm second guessing myself and I can FEEL THE ANXIOUS INFODUMP INSTINCT I am either gonna say nothing at all or way too much HELP tigergirltail — 11/13/2024 11:07 PM Do it. Slap that gatekeepy doctor with every Cool Vulture Fact in your birb cranium Might improve your odds tbh ashedink — 11/13/2024 11:08 PM You are a cool and awesome friend and I am glad I have you to encourage me when I am a scattered anxious mess Thank you Alexis tigergirltail — 11/13/2024 11:08 PM You've got this Ash I believe in you =3

(featuring my long time friend and the person who acted as my gate into therian HRT, @tigergirltail)

[princesscolumbia]

And now for something different from my usual!

Normally, I write some variety of fanfiction, and I'm 100% proud of nearly everything I've ever written. (Yes, even THAT one.) If I could, without any sort of IP complications, write just for fanfic I'd streamline my process and chunk out words for fanfics all day long, get a book contract, and quit my day job. In a friggin' heartbeat.

Unfortunately, fanfic has all sorts of complications if you want to make a living as an author. This, unfortunately, results in fanfic authors either quitting because the whole thing is a time sink and they have a life a job and things to get done, or they become "grown up" authors with a publishing deal and (in many cases) wind up deleting their fanworks in bulk "because they're Srs Riters™️now!"

When I wrapped up My Empire of Dirt, I took a look at the finished product and said, "...you know, I think I might just be good at this writing thing." But I had in my head the little monster that wasn't quite Imposter Syndrome (more like an ugly cousin of Imposter Syndrome) that said that no matter how good I was, nobody would ever like what I wrote, especially if it was original work.

(This was my stepmother's horrible, abusive language that she hammered into me viciously during my teenage years. Knowing the source helps, but it's still something I have to work to overcome on occasion.)

I had some ideas that I started jotting down (and yes, they're still on the 'to write' pile), but nothing really 'clicked' as a, "OMG, I've got to write this thing!"

Then I read Trouble with Horns. And I needed more, so I read Witch of Chains...and Illegal Alien in an MMO World, and Lieforged Gale, and Digital Galaxies, and Esmie the Calamity, and Coven's Rebellion, and Digital Exodus. And even as early as Witch of Chains I knew I had a story to tell that the setting of a post-WW3 Earth in the middle of The Singularity would let me tell it in.

And I realized...wait, this is it! This is my "training wheels" for writing original fics! Because QuietValerie won't do collabs with other authors anymore (long story involving the Kammiverse and RoyalRoad), but does let people play in her sandbox with carte blanch (and, best of all, no lawyers involved), I can write a fic that's got only a few connection points to Troubleverse to prop it up and draw an audience, and if AuthorBun ever disavows Code of Ethics entirely, it'll take some work but I'll be able to de-couple it entirely! It's, from the outset, 95% original work. If I have to re-jigger that last 5%...well, published authors often have to rework a LOT more of their original works than that, so...let's do this!

And it's worked for me! ALL the hesitance I used to have for writing original fics is gone. I've created interesting, dynamic characters, built out entire story worlds, constructed a complex and interwoven plot that has my readers guessing and thirsty for clues, and the only reason I haven't finished is because there's just so much story to tell!

So for this November (and no, I'm not digging into the whole NaNoWriMo corporate BS right now), I decided to take an idea that, just like Code of Ethics, seized me by the throat and said, "This story is one that needs to be told and you're the only one who can."

George lives in a world that feels gray. In spite of superheroes based in the city he lives in with his mom, the clubs he's in at school, and the handful of friends he's managed to pick up, at ripe old age of 15 years old he feels disconnected from it all. Then one day a Quantum Storm hits. These storms are how superheroes (and villains) get their powers, and George is right in the middle of it, suddenly granting him super powers…along with a brand new GIRL body! Fortunately for HER, she stumbles onto a mentor at the same time. …that all happened six months ago. Now she's in a hospital on the West coast, super-cuffed to a bed, and about to answer for her crimes…including murder. How did this happen?!

Preview, as always, below the cut:

Georgie woke up.

She was somewhat surprised to discover that she was even alive, let alone awake. After what she’d done, she was surprised that anyone had let her live at all.

After what she’d done, she probably deserved it.

It wasn’t fair, of course. It never was, but complaining about whether life was fair or not only led down the path of the supervillain, heroes accepted that life wasn’t fair and participated in the Sisyphean task of making it more fair.

She’d learned the word ‘Sisyphean’ in English class a few weeks ago. She’d never quite understood why the former-hero-turned-villain Sisyphus had gone black-cape until recently, nor had she understood how his chosen name connected to the work he had been doing. Now that she had some experience being a superhero, she thought she understood better than anyone not blessed with superpowers could.

No matter what good you did, at some point it all came crashing down.

She looked around a bit, noticing the room she was in was dark, but there was a counter with a sink across from her, a lightbox mounted to the wall, a television mounted to the ceiling, and some translucent curtains over some windows showing it was about mid-afternoon…wherever she was. What little she could make out of the landscape through the curtains didn’t look anything like the city she lived in. I was running for a long time, she mused, And for me that’s saying something.

She turned her attention back to the room and noted there was an I.V. pole next to the bed she was in and a tube snaking down to what she presumed was the pinching sensation in the back of her hand. She couldn’t follow the tube all the way down to look at her hand, not yet. Had anyone else been in her spot, they might have been overjoyed to be alive after what she’d been through. Not her, though.

For her, there was a fate worse than death, and she wasn’t ready to face that yet.

On the other side of the bed was what appeared to be a heartrate monitor, but she was no expert on medical equipment. The bit that was supposed to be showing the two-peak bumping line that represented a human heartbeat was an almost solid bar of white, though the flickering of the screen told her that it was desperately trying to record a heartrate that was far faster than the machine was capable of registering.

There was no getting around it, she was in a hospital room, and a fairly high-end one, if she could rely on what she’d seen of such things on TV as an indication.

As for the part that came next, well, she had to muster her courage…and after everything she’d been through, ‘courage’ was a word she wasn’t sure she had any claim to.

It was surprisingly hard, knowing what was coming and knowing she had to face it. Just a little longer, a voice was whispering in the back of her mind, Just let yourself imagine nothing has changed just a little bit longer, it’s not like you’re not going to find out soon enough anyway.

Available exclusively to my supporters on Patreon.

[sevenmerrymagpies]

Chapter 4 is up!

Read a preview below

On the first Wednesday night of winter break, when he was sure Eddie would be home, Steve went to the trailer. He knocked on the door, and as he always had before, Eddie answered. He stepped outside, closed the door behind him, and said, "It's not a good time, Harrington."

"I can—" Steve started.

"Look," Eddie said at the same time, "Wayne's home. Otherwise…" He trailed off with a shrug.

In a flash of bravery and stupidity he usually only possessed during a crisis with the Upside Down, he asked, "We could just hang out?"

"You want to pay me to hang out?" Eddie looked at him as if he couldn't believe Steve was that desperate.

"Well, I didn't think I had to pay you to hang out," Steve hedged because he hadn't, but if Eddie needed the money, he wouldn't withhold it. "But, if you—"

"No, no, of course you didn't, because that would be...that would be weird, wouldn't it?" Eddie said. Deep in thought, he put his hand over his mouth and looked out in the distance over Steve's head and into the forest beyond the trailer park. It took him a few moments, but eventually, he said, "I had a great time with you last time, after everything, and I'd love to hang out, payment-free or otherwise. Wayne's gone in another hour or two, so if we hang out for that long, maybe payment could come into it after all." 

Eddie attempted a lascivious and predatory smile, one Steve had seen from him every time he'd been here before, but it came across as sincere. Steve couldn't help but smile back. 

They tiptoed through the trailer into Eddie's room.

"Can you shut the door?" Eddie turned on music, not exactly at a low volume, and explained, "Wayne can sleep through my music no problem because he expects to hear it, but he won't sleep through a conversation. If we drown out the conversation with music, he'll continue to sleep."

"And it's really not a problem that I'm here?" Steve asked. He never wanted to cause Eddie or his uncle any problems. He just wanted to see Eddie. He had waited a month until he was confident it wouldn't be too soon, but now that it was here, he didn't want to put it off again. 

"How did you know I'd be home?" Eddie asked. "This isn't your normal time."

"Dustin. He mentioned you weren't running a campaign over break, and I guessed tonight might be okay."

"So, their weird pseudo-bragging is real," Eddie said. "You do know my new freshman."

"Yep, Dustin, Mike, Lucas, and Max, who lives across the way. She moved in November."

"Little Red? You know her, too?"

"Yeah, they were all friends of Will Byers. When I was dating Nancy, you know Mike's her brother, and he's Will's best friend, and I kinda got wrapped up with everyone and unofficially made a babysitter when the kid went missing. Even after we broke up, I continued because, well, they're nerds, but they're cool."

"They are nerds, and they are cool," Eddie said. "I gotta admit I'm a little surprised you could understand the dichotomy."

"It took me a while," Steve admitted, "but now I recognize my favorite people tend to be nerds. And apparently, I think they're cool."

Eddie leaned forward as if he'd said something unexpected and delightful.

"Yeah, your favorite kind of people? Us nerds?"

Steve could feel himself blush. He hadn't been thinking about Eddie when he said it; he'd been thinking about the kids in the Party, like Dustin, and of course, he'd been thinking of Robin, but now that Eddie was getting in his face about it, Steve realized Eddie counted, too.

"I guess. It surprised me too," he said, trying to play it cool, even if he could feel a flush pinking his cheeks. He couldn't figure out why Eddie made him feel giddy and giggly, flirty. It was how he'd describe the girls he used to flirt with in the hallways. Instead of controlling the situation, he was in someone else's hands. It surprised him how much he enjoyed it. He loved being on the other side of the chase and never gave this side of it any thought before Eddie. 

He reminded himself there was no chase here — Steve was the one paying, and Eddie took the payment. Even so, the game still felt natural and enjoyable to Steve.

"I'm glad you ended up finding them," Steve said, trying to get the subject back on track. "I knew if I told them you hosted a Dungeons & Dragons Club, Mike would reject it out of hand. And I knew you wouldn't believe me if I said some incoming freshmen were perfect for your club."

Eddie laughed at that. "Yeah, that's about right."

Steve continued, "Dustin would have believed me, and Lucas probably too. But Mike would have fought on principle just because I told them you existed..."

Eddie made an equivocating noise and wiggled his hand back and forth.

"I don't know if I think that's true," he said. "Mike may not speak of you in the exalted terms Dustin uses, but it's not like he's throwing you to the wolves either. He and Lucas pretty much defend everything that Dustin says, even if Mike is rolling his eyes while he's doing it."

"Nah, now I don't believe you," Steve smirked. "Mike can't stand me."

Eddie turned to fiddle with his boombox and said, "You know, I think you just might not know who likes you or who doesn't."

Steve laughed in agreement. "I tend to like snarky people, people with a bit of a mean edge, but it also means that sometimes I can't tell if someone is my friend or if they're being mean. I thought Carol was my friend; she was just being mean. I thought Tommy was my friend, and he was just a dick. I thought Robin hated me, and she's the best friend I've ever had."

"Robin? Buckley from band?" Eddie asked. "I think I've seen you dropping her off in the morning sometimes."

"Yeah, we worked together at Scoops Ahoy this summer. Bonded over retail hell, and uh, the fire."

"You both got caught in that?"

"We did," Steve said. "It sucked." He flopped back on the bed and tapped his toe on the ground to the beat of the new song Eddie had put in the tape deck. "Of course, no one gets us being best friends either, so they all think we're dating."

"You're not dating?" Eddie asked.

"I wouldn't be coming here if I was dating somebody," Steve said, slightly offended. "I don't cheat, dude." He saw how cheating had ruined his parent's marriage and destroyed both of them in ugly ways. He'd vowed as a kid never to do that to anyone. Ever. 

"Didn't know your standards were so high. Most people's aren't."

"Well, mine are." He sighed as he realized this was a great time to bring up other topics. "Speaking of standards," Steve said because he promised himself they'd have this conversation before anything else happened between them. "I know the last two times we haven't used anything, but—"

"You want to start using condoms?" Eddie asked. 

"Yup. I got tested right after we fooled around last time. I'm clean, but we should still use condoms, and they said I should continue to test every six months." 

Steve was proud of himself for going to the clinic in Indy. He walked in there as an anonymous queer man trying to stay safe. He stepped back in two weeks later, proud to return and get his results. He sat with a counselor who went over his results with him, negative, and then went over best testing practices as well as repeating all the safe sex advice Steve had read about in the pamphlets and zines he'd been hoarding for the last few months. On his way out the door, he donated the rest of the cash in his wallet to help other queer people who couldn't afford to get tested themselves.

"I haven't been with anyone else but you in a couple of months, but I could go get tested," Eddie said. 

"Look, I can't ask that of you," Steve said. "You're not my partner. It's not my place to ask."

Eddie's lips thinned, but he said, "Harrington, I'll get tested, okay? Besides, condoms are a good idea for lots of reasons."

"Cool, okay, cool," Steve said, a deep sense of relief sweeping through him. He hadn't realized how much he wanted Eddie to get tested, no matter that he didn't feel like he could ask it of the guy until Eddie volunteered.

"Cool," Eddie said with a small smile.

They continued to hang out, listening to Wayne get ready for his workday before they moved out into the living room. Steve thought about the money burning a hole in his wallet, but even with the simmering desire, he didn't make a move, and Eddie didn't seem inclined to push him. Instead, they smoked out and watched a little Tuesday night TV. It was good; it was like hanging out with a real friend. Eddie ordered pizza, and Steve paid for it, not because he was the guy who brought a hundred bucks with him that night, but because Eddie shared his beer, and it was only fair. 

Was Eddie a friend? He felt like a friend. He felt a lot like he could be something more, but the money Steve brought with him tonight, even if he hadn't spent it, felt like a barrier. Eddie wasn't here for Steve; he was here for the money, and Steve was the gate between him and it. He didn't want that to be true anymore, but he didn't know how to stop it either. 

Before he knew it, he was too full and too tired to fool around that night. Instead, they awkwardly said goodbye, and Steve drove away, wondering what the hell had happened.

[flightfoot]

do you have any fic recs about the miraculous squad post-canon as adults, that focuses on other characters besides just adrien and marinette?

Hmmm. So I guess for this, I'll look for any fics set in the canon universe where the main characters aren't Adrien or Marinette. Or at least, where other characters get equal billing.

---

The 8 Weddings of Alix Kubdel by The_Rabbit42

The bet is simple: with the Rabbit Miraculous, Alix will be speaking at all of her friends’ weddings. No matter what age they tie the knot, she’ll be there looking the same. From Alix’s perspective, she’s going to each ceremony and reception one right after another in a nonstop bender.

This fic’s a lot of fun! I loved seeing all the different weddings, as well as how Alix slowly felt more and more out of place, with going forwards in time. Some of the weddings could get, uh. Exciting as well XD. And while there’s been years in-between Alix’s appearances for her friends at the wedding, for Alix, it’s only been a few hours, if that…

---

Strangely Familiar by @sunfoxfic

Alya Césaire’s life is perfect. Indeed, between the success of the Ladyblog, how well she’s doing in school, and the fact that she’s a superhero who has never bore the weight of a crisis of epic proportions, her life almost couldn’t be better. Almost. But Alya has always been a go-getter, and so she’ll chase after that perfect life if it kills her. Which is how she ends up rushing to move out of her father’s apartment and in with Marinette, Adrien, and a complete stranger: Nino Lahiffe. And in fact, her life does seem perfect — she and Nino are fast friends. They spend a lot of time together and get to know each other really well. But in the end, fortunate situations will bear unfortunate truths, and she learns things about herself that aren’t quite comfortable. Like I said, though: Alya has always been a go-getter, and she won’t let new feelings deter her from chasing after her perfect life.

This is the single longest DJWifi-centric fic on AO3 (which is a travesty) and it is GLORIOUS. Alya and Nino are both well fleshed-out here, with their own problems and baggage they’re dealing with, but it’s easier together.

---

When Feelings Are Too Big For Words by ClockworkCaptain:

When Luka takes a gig playing for a drag show he’s falls hard and fast for the drag queen Buttercup who uses her performances to work through her own em otions. Meanwhile Adrien’s been using drag to work through his own emotions and thinks maybe Luka coming back into his life and showing interest might mean a second chance. Made for @mlsecretsanta 2022

Published on New Year’s Eve, this just barely makes it to the deadline for this list. I’m glad I don’t need to wait a year to talk about it though! One of the issues I tend to have with Luka shipfics, and with Lukadrien especially (though I think Lukanette actually has this problem worse) is how Luka tends to disappear within the fic and the pairing, feeling more like “The Love Interest” than his own person. Not so here! While most of the intrigue surrounds Adrien, I still got the sense of Luka being his own person, not just existing in the fic for Adrien.

 I adored Adrien getting to display an aspect of himself through persona and performance - that does align well with how he approaches Chat Noir -  and overall I just had a lot of fun with this fic!

---

Everybody's Changing by @coffeebanana

Alya's finding it a little hard to adjust to her new normal, post-Shadow Moth. Which...might be why she's a little more focused on getting Marinette and Adrien to finally figure out they have feelings for each other than actually enjoying her graduation party. She knows she should feel relieved that Shadow Moth's gone, but...things just feel so much more complicated. It's hard to accept that some things just won't be the same, anymore. Thankfully, Nino knows exactly what to say and do to help her figure things out. Or: DJwifi for day 11 of Kiss Prompt November (effervescent)

---

may we write it all down (in cursive light) by @sunfoxfic

Since retiring as a journalist, Alya hasn't been involved in an interview in several years. But now that her identity is out, that's about to change.

---

Number One by christallized

Marc and Nath have been dating for a while, but the rest of the world doesn't have to know that. It's complicated, it brings unwanted questions and anxiety. But the Comic of the Year contest is coming up, and Marc knows that sometimes what matters most isn't the thoughts of the rest of the world. Sometimes it only has to matter to one.

---

raw honey: a coffee with chloe bourgeois by demistories

I meet up with Mlle. Bourgeois at a classy, upscale café just in time for brunch. When I arrive, she’s sitting at an outside table and typing on her phone, glittering nails clicking against the screen. She doesn’t even look up at me when she says, “Fancier than you’re used to, huh, Césaire? Think it’ll break the bank?”  I remind her that she still owes me a meal from the last time we saw each other, and she scoffs and removes her sunglasses.  “You asked me for an interview,” my former classmate says. “The polite thing would be to foot the bill, but I suppose I can cover you just this once.” Her sarcasm is biting, but her smile is genuine.  an interview between alya césaire and her former classmate, chloé bourgeois

---

I hope these satisfy you!

[foster-the-world]

Back to School

We were on vacation so I missed the class dojo message that baby boy's class was having an open house today. I was happy to discover it was during my lunch hour so I could sneak out. I'm glad I went. Got a chance to talk with his teacher and his OT, PT and new speech therapist. I guess he's old speech therapist son is going to be in his class so they switched therapist. Make sense.

He's had a rough couple of weeks so I am very glad to get him back into a normal routine.

His teacher keeps talking about how he doesn't like her. Which I think is an odd thing to bring up. He's an immature four year old. If you give him a cookie he will like you. If you tell him no, he won't like you for roughly ten minutes. Then he's over it. Otherwise it was a good conversation. She knows what she is doing - which is a relief. Every single person who works with him said "he's so smart." Which is what I believe but nice to verify. I'm always afraid I'm secretly entirely biased and missing things. Even though its not like I'm ignoring his challenges. His teacher said she has a range of kids from babyish to very mature. She mentioned baby boy is all the way across the spectrum. Which I thought was spot on. In some areas he's advanced and in others he's a mess. The one-on-one therapist were very clearly glad to have him back. Which makes sense because one on one he's so much better behaved. I asked if push in services would make more sense because he has trouble in groups. They said no. Also good to verify. I mentioned needing to figure out kindergarten. She seemed to imply he maybe okay in a Gen Ed class. But said we will check in in November - which is good to know. They are having another all school meeting with the Director. Not sure I can skip work but I would really like to go.

The only negative reaction I had was with the health care person. My husband, who complains about no one, also got a bad vibe. It was a general feeling but specifically her thoughts on his asthma won't work for me. The conversation wasn't going anywhere so I said "oh, don't want to hold you from other parents" and jetted out. Anyway, she is right that we need to take him to a Pulmonologist. Just waiting on all of these Sept/Oct Neuro Psych/Dev Ped/Cardiologist appointments to be over. Also, assuming he will get another nonstop cough in October/Nov so can take him then. Maybe better for the doctor to see it in action.

[rudamaruda520]

Hi!

she/they // queer // sagittarius // 24 // joined 06.04.24

reader and sometimes writer/ dad jokes developer/ family disappointment/ gay cousin/ touched by the tism/ amateur artist 🧑‍🎨

I post here about Marauders and Marauders only

Ruda_520 on ao3

Ruda_520 on spotify

ruda_520_ao3 on instagram

My works:

"The Inner Eye" ~ Peter Pettigrew/Sybill Trelawney

Peter loved playing chess with Sybill because she was one of the few, if not the only, who was a worthy opponent for him.

Sybill loved playing chess with Peter because it was the one match she couldn't predict the outcome of.

,or

Sybill regrets that she learned the secrets of divination.

"Birthday Howler" ~ Black Brothers

wednesday, 3 November 1976 - Once it was an important date. Now it was just an ordinary day. Normal like any other. Nothing special about it.

He once had a brother.

And they celebrated their birthdays together.

Now he was the only child and sole heir of The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.

And someone else was called Sirius's brother.

But once it was Reggie.

It used to be just Regulus and Sirius.

The two of them against the whole world.

"Amortentia it is" 🔒 ~ Bellatrix Black/Rita Skeeter

A plan formed in her mind.

Selfish, dishonorable, evil and cruel plan.

The thing was that Rita was selfish, dishonorable, evil and cruel. She was also terrified of Bella. But she didn't care about the consequences. She's already decided.

She'll give her amortentia.

~~~~

The lack of morality of the plan she came up with brought a smile to her face. She knew she wouldn't survive if she didn't get her. If Rita thought she was crazy anyway, it was time to act on it.

,or

the story of two baddies who came up with the same idea

"sexed 101 with Barty Crouch Jr." ~ Barty Crouch Jr./Lily Evans/James Potter

James felt his ears begin to turn red and embarrassment boil within him as he thought about what he was about to say. Crouch would most likely laugh at his face, but James loved Lily more than anything in the world, and if it was going to make her happy, then damn it, he will swallow his pride

,or

James would like to improve his sex game and is asking Barty for a lesson

"I know you too well" ~ Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger

I DIDN'T FELL INTO THE MARAUDERS HOLE AT THE TIME OKAY?! give me a break...

Hermione returns to Hogwarts to complete her interrupted schooling, but she's not herself. Something is wrong. Even her friends don't notice that Hermione is sinking deeper and deeper into darkness. There's only one person who pays attention to the changes in the witch's behavior. And that person is her longtime enemy. Hermione needs help and if she doesn't get it, this story won't have a happy ending.

,or

The One in which Hermione returns to Hogwarts to finish school, but something is very wrong with her and the only person who sees it is none other than Draco Malfoy.

and that's it I guess?

I don't know how to make a proper intro post

[dreamcloud12]

How my bully, tyrin smith made my school life like hell

ok this my story of my bully, tyrin made my school life a LIVING HELL... enjoy

ok so back in 6th grade I was a normal quiet and shy kid, as I was going to the classes I needed to go to I made new friends and hell even I met all of my other friends from my elementary school so we had good times with each other and ect blah blah blah you get the point, so when I first walked in 4th period I felt all eyes on me well some of my friends greeted me so I felt comfortable, but that's when I met tyrin the bully/villain of my story, so I was looking around the classroom then that's when I locked eyes with HIM and when we stared at each other I felt a bad feeling about him so I looked back and continue chatting with my friends but I still felt his eyes watching me, judging me. Later class ended so me and my friends said our goodbyes and went our different ways then that's when I felt a shove it kinda made me tumble down the stairs but I ended up grabbing the guard rails, I ended up twisting my arm in the impact, I looked up to see who pushed me and that's when I saw tyrin at the top of the stairs laughing his ass off and he walked away while laughing his ass off so after he walked away I stood up and decided to go to the office so I can go to the nurses office for my arm and after that tyrin won't stop the bullying even when I get a adult so tyrin has been saying very hurtful things to me and about me to his friends like he said racial slurs at me, homophobic slurs, fat shaming even though Im not that fat which caused me to starve myself and he lies and says that I smell bad even though I don't smell bad. one time we were in 4th period going around the room looking at things and writing down notes and all off the items were on counters so me and my friends were going around the classroom doing notes and that's when we walked to the last item to write about, while I was writing I got some back pain so I leaned on the counter to stop my back from hurting, while I was in the middle of writing I heard a phone camera go off so I looked at the corner of my eye and saw TYRIN TAKING PICTURES OF MY ASS so I walked up to my teacher and told her as I was telling my teacher I guess tyrin knew I was telling so he quickly deleted the photos cuz when my teacher walked up and looked at his photos and all of the pictures of my ass was gone. ok now we are going into 7th grade I was happy to meet my friends again but I wasn't happy to see tyrin again and there was new problems, on 10/17/2023 my baby sister nebula passed away and after 2 weeks of me not going to school I came back to school but still upset about my sister's death and when tyrin found out about her death he made death jokes and he made fun of me for tearing up or quietly sobbing and that's when one day on november something tyrin's dad died well I didn't know his dad was dead at the time but one day tyrin was making up a lie about me that I was making fun of his dad's death even though I didn't make one single joke about his dad. ok that's my story on how my bully tyrin made my school life like hell

[acaplaya-musings]

Voiceplay Visuals: Queen In 5 Minutes

This is one of those videos where I'm gonna have to remind myself to not talk about the music, because Queen is awesome, I know quite a decent amount of their songs, and this arrangement/performance is really freaking good. But the video itself certainly isn't boring either (Freddie would be proud), and I'm very excited to talk about this one, so let's go! (Yeah this one's a long one, you have been warned)

Apparently this video (released on the 24th of November, 2018) was at least in part inspired by a health scare that Earl had while touring with Voiceplay, which no doubt was very distressing for all of them, but he obviously was fine or got better, which I'm glad about, and this video is creative as heck!

Won't talk about their appearances just yet, but of course I gotta point out the iconic Bohemian Rhapsody diamond configuration thing!

Cool necklace! I don't know the exact meaning of it, and whether or not it was just acquired for the video, but I do know that the album/track image for this cover on Spotify takes inspiration from it!

(Also this song is split into two parts on music streaming platforms, idk why)

*(clapping my hands together)* character time!

I have no clue what mythological being Layne's character is meant to be based off of, if any - "Guardian" is a bit of a vague name after all - and the main thing that popped up when I typed "mythology sentinel of the underworld" into Google was Cerberus, the three-headed guard dog from Ancient Greek myths. And well... it'd check out actually. Layne doesn't talk/sing in this video (not counting vocal percussion of course), he's wearing a big furry grey coat, and none of the other 3 are from Greek (or even Roman) mythology, so it's entirely possible that "Guardian" could just be a human-form Cerberus (minus the two extra heads).

Apparently "Yama" is the Hindu god of death and justice, though he was also adopted into Buddhist, Chinese, Tibetan, Korean, and Japanese mythology as the king of hell, so-

A 19th-century painting of Yama on his mount depicts him as completely blue, so Eli's blue face paint definitely fits.

("Dark angel" definitely sounds fitting)

Geoff is based on Baron Samedi, who is a spirit (Iwa) of the dead in Haitian Vodou, as well as of course the more well-known Louisiana/New Orleans Voodoo. Fun fact: Dr Facilier in The Princess And The Frog is partly inspired by Baron Samedi!

I'm sure most if not all of us have heard of Anubis, but regardless, Anubis is the Ancient Egyptian god of funerary rites, and he's also a protector of graves, and of course, a guide to the underworld. He can take both human and animal form, and in artwork is often depicted with the body of a man and head of a jackal/canine animal (which Voiceplay subtly refers to in this shot here with the little Anubis Shrine statue sitting next to J)

Cool and Normal! 😆

(Also really love that jacket/blazer)

"Anubis" is of course weighing Earl's heart against a feather to see whether or not he is worthy of ascending to the heavenly afterlife. And since the heart appears to be slightly lighter, he's good! (Not that he's actually ready to pass on, though)

(Also, from a production viewpoint, I'm guessing they had some small stones or counterweights hiding underneath the feather?)

...Not gonna say anything, just putting this here

Love how "Baron" glances at his cane as if to check for any dirt or smudges from Earl 😆

(Geoff still has that cane I believe; when he did a few Q&A/"how to sing low" videos on his channel back in 2020, the cane was just chilling in the background, behind where he was sitting in his home office/workspace)

(Also obligatory he's so handsome/pretty aaaaaaa)

The body language of "Anubis" here when Baron starts talking (i.e. when Geoff starts singing), and the way that he, "Yama", and "Guardian" are all at one end of the stage, while "Baron" is on the other, says so much in such a small way! (Geoff once again getting to be Special(tm), love that for him)

"I've done my sentence, but committed no criiiiiiime!"

Cool necklace! (Also really love the subtle red edging/trim on his blazer/coat, very cool and gives me Crowley vibes)

While I'm talking about Geoff, time for another hair study!

(This one I actually used separate screencaps for the outline and for the colour grabs)

Wasn't even trying to pause in this shot but pfft Eli/Yama and J/Anubis doing the 🤏 thing

(Also kinda sorta another Eli Eyebrow raise?)

Baron: *(evil laugh)*

Anubis: OHKAY it's getting a little tense in here, time to lighten the mood a little bit!

Baron: wow rude

Anubis: here hold this for me thanks!

Guardian: wait what am I meant to do with this?

(Though I'm pretty sure that's meant to be his sword anyway?)

"Nooo time for looosers"

Fight! Fight! Fight! (Eli/Yama: "I'm three ounces of whoop-ass")

Love the facial expressions here, Anubis/J looks like he half-wishes he had popcorn! 😂

Thumbnail moment! (Or close enough anyway)

Yama singing "I don't need you" to Baron and Baron doing a sort of sarcastic "haha very funny" head motion in return, love it

Not talking about the arrangement but I'd like to thank the Good Omens fandom, because I wouldn't have recognized/known the bridge of Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy in this medley otherwise (I didn't first see this video until like a year or so after it first came out)

If you ever wind up in hospital, don't actually try to rip out IV drips or cannulas or any other tubes connected to your body!

If I had a nickel for every time a different member of Voiceplay played air guitar in a video, I'd have at least four nickels! (Earl here, Cesar in Hellfire, Eli in Top 10 Sitcom Themes, and Geoff in at least three or more videos (maybe 5 if we count J None in the Frozen 2 Medley))

Full-body group shot! (Also Eli, those shorts and those shoes are... an interesting combination that's for sure 😅) Also check out the body language of Baron/Geoff and Guardian/Layne!

There's a comment or two that sums up "Guardian's" body language as "I don't actually want to hurt you, but I will if I absolutely have to"

Love "Yama's" expression right before he's turned into a puff of smoke 😆

Baron was on Earl's side the whole time!

It would have been cool to have Baron bow out himself and be like "you did well, you can go on living now", rather than being poofed away like the others, but eh I'm sure Voiceplay had their reasonings

I would post a pic of the final shot, but Tumblr isn't letting me (I'm guessing I hit an image limit, rip). But still, it's very cute and sweet.

There's a reason why so many people adore this video/cover. The arrangement is stunning, the vocals are great, the costumes are cool, the makeup is really well done, and the whole plot/direction of the video is such a creative and original concept! Shoutout to Layne and Eli, who were in charge of both the video and the arrangement!

[predoom]

ohoneohone

Friday, November 11th, 2005 12:35 pm i won't tell a soul if you dont want me to. hearts between our knees sticking to summer sheets. Saturday, November 5th, 2005 4:59 pm keep me fast the way he runs his mouth its a wonder that i havent caught a flight home just for a second alone the way he runs my mouth makes me hate you just as much as him thank god i spend most of the daylight dreaming in wine colored beads the sun never caught me right when i was little i splash water on my face in sinks in green rooms like pinching yourself or trying to wash the miles off down a dark hotel hallway the finger prints in pink and blue like skin and veins i try to jump from the doorway to the bed so i dont leave footprints so i dont disturb the carpet like sand you want shyer eyes you want bigger "im sorry"s and regrets for things that i.Yo.u. did you want survivors in the wreckage you want flashlights in the cave you want second chances for second chances i loved everything about you that hurts your scars, your flaws, your not so subtle attempts at wit and irony that always fell a bit short and felt forced your insincerity, your imitation that you passed off as exploration your morning smile 3 year stand (off) her breathing is shallow she shakes whenever i get near- i guess its an occupational hazard its okay we dont have to talk. youre just a body. heaven sent and percoset. even though we're fading fast.... im sorry "pretty"- you were just a canary in a coal mine. Tuesday, November 1st, 2005 7:57 pm there are many things that i would like to say to you but i don't know how im not even too sure what goes on, especially in my own head. one second its one way and the next its another. i have a funny way of showing i care. but i do. i have to say it- halloween wasn't the same this year with out you. i i had the best time ever in southern california. but it wasn't really halloween with out you. and new years won't either. my calls go out today but they'renot picked up. i get what i get. i got some friends who are wearing their egos on their sleeves. its ok. i'll play dumb. you are a shadow of who you once were. "can we start agains" ive had my share. for the past month my mood has been however our phone calls ended. it felt like i was dying inside when i hung up the phone on you. but i have to make a point. you can only act like dirt for so long before you become it. but theres nobody like me and you. i feel like veins and ligatures when you aren't around. and breathing in isnt the same when you're not breathing out. percoset revolutionary. "look mom, no breathing". fucking fading. fucked up, but not cool fucked up. maybe we rip the map in half and someday we meet up in the middle. by accident or just because. everything and everyone ends up faced down on the floor in the end.

you are my wonderwall. Wednesday, October 26th, 2005 6:51 pm my mom said 'make sure you go to sleep smiling tonight baby cause you'll wake up feeling better" i just re-read everything you wrote over the past two months.

i miss my friends.

there is life after this. i promise myself. Tuesday, October 25th, 2005 10:51 pm everything they say about us is true im watching scary movies like every afternoon. i got some new slipper and pants. i look ridiculous. dreamboat. the inside of my head is always changing. even right this second. when i go back over all the details it makes me so glad im not in that town anymore. all of a sudden we're always in the crosshairs. it kinda feels normal now. we used to goof around about killing ourselves off. but sometimes it wasn't a joke. i can't sleep when the bus isn't moving. went to the fender offices today, they are gonna make me some basses. pretty exciting. the only thing ive ever learned is that its pretty easy to say "i love you" its alot harder to mean it. my friends are dropping like flies. everyone looks good when they are the one with their fingers on the keyboards. history is written by the conquerer. we're headlining an amphitheater tommorrow. thats retarded. fistfightking. makeoutqueen. past midnights. get amazed.

Current Music: 2sweet Sunday, October 23rd, 2005 9:42 am you see that kid... its not me, its you. blow out the candles on caring. encounters yesterday: went to paul walls jewelry shop. pretty insane. then when we played jared leto came over and watched. radio shows are wack. encounters today: the gold medal gymnast from the 2004 olympics is coming to hang out with me. pretty insane. why would you ever want to meet a boy like me. i am boring. you make it easier to make the decisions that i do. i turned off the switch that cares. i watch lots of movies and take lots of naps. cause i am a baby. i am gonna be in the academy video for black mamba. i can't tell you how excited that makes me. Wednesday, October 19th, 2005 11:48 pm ill be on time for that, i cant think of a line that rhymes with that blue looks better than jealousy. im awake but not up. you know what i mean. blew the speakers out like a candle. drowned out my sorrows in a wet dream. i miss you but only in flashing moments. new stuff over at buzznet. people been asking about the prices. honestly we charge what it costs us to make. alot of the stuff lately has been cut and sew or requires hand stitching which is expensive. so we try to keep the stuff really limited, so that it stays special. the bags sold out in a day. we won't be making anymore of that particular bag. but we will be making more limited bags and other items. Tuesday, October 18th, 2005 4:48 pm i, peter lewis kingston wentz, solemnly swear... im trying to figure it out. my head moves way faster than my mouth. i went to a party at chris from nsnyc's house for a party. it was about as good/bad as you would think. except dirty was there. so factor that one in. always up or down, never down and out.

the new nightmare of you record is fantastic. it makes me think of winters at home. love it or leave me. Sunday, October 16th, 2005 12:45 pm baby, im just bad news i don't know if it feels real been watching halloween movies lately to get me in the mood taking lots of naps its easier this way she wont ever love you the way she loves me youre not pretty enough and you dont make her heart beat been hiding messages in morse code and anagrams banging my wrist against the edge of the keyboard until it turns black and blue we're all settling all the time panic! at the disco makes me want to start this all over again coversations with you make me want it to never have begun at all nick plan and william beckett are on the list in one form or another always if you dont have your friends than you dont got shit and my friends are gold halloween is gonna be the best this year i think ive never been in california on halloween- it once was, but it hasnt been for a really long time spent most of the morning on the phone with my mommy cause she can always slow my breathing down you can get used to anything after a while even this, pete pretty boys for secret girls later skater Wednesday, October 12th, 2005 12:02 pm ill make you shake so hard you might not make it through the night new york city is fucking insane. get me. bruisa. fall makes me remember and want love.

okay okay cause i should:

1. you say crazy shit in your sleep, like about us living in old milwaukee. 2. right this second "wonderwall" sometimes star wars. 3. i dunno cherry coke flavored. 4. sugar tail, freckles in your eyes, basement windows, braces 5. new years on the windowsill. 6. uh kind of in a weird way the retriever head on the beagle body. just the nicest dog ever. 7. that one bane lyric, im pretty sure its a question. but mostly lately- what happened to my best friend?

nick york city. the clan party last night was rightious. im kinda going other places. feeling it. quit sleeping on it cause im the life. from the back of my legs to the back of my neck- im so glad there are people out there who won't let me fall off the face of the planet.

young.

panic at the disco at the knitting factory in new york tonight- 5pm. Tuesday, October 11th, 2005 12:57 am you remind me of this one movie. it makes me smile. but not with my mouth and way too many teeth. but with my eyes. trouble loves me. but you do way more. im dreaming on highway lines and phone hang-ups. just happy to be me. for one second.

i got a sweet vest and some teddy bear shoes. im good for cuddling. youre gonna have to trust me on that one.

[ikemenomegas]

Nightmare for Gojo? Because he's kind of a nightmare 😂

He is kind of a nightmare [affectionately] isn't he XD. Hmm how about in a nightmare?

i.

You wake with a quiet gasp, alone in a room that is familiar but not yours.

Throat feeling too thick, you sit up and fumble for the cup of water on the bedside table. It is stale, but it forces you to hold your hands steady and you grip it just a little tighter than normal while you slowly cycle cursed energy through your body.

It warms your limbs and wakes you up. You're unsure whether to be disappointed about that. It's still dark outside and the dull white numbers of the clock in the bookshelf read some time late after one in the morning. Too late to be wandering but you shrug a thick oversized shirt over the clothes you had put on - too wary of being woken by more than your own mind to change into pajamas - and pad out the door, into the chill November night.

You can't sit still while images, real and imagined, tear around your mind. The path before you goes up and around the mountain the school is built around, and you start to climb, lungs tingling with cold.

No one stops you.

You weren't there in the barrier on Halloween. You're not on trial. You're not under arrest or even truly censured. You're just... remanded to the school. Waiting. While they decide whether or not you're enough trouble to execute outright.

Satoru has made enough of a nuisance of himself that you're fairly confident they'll ignore you in comparison. Especially once they won't be able to prove any binding connection. It makes you wonder for a moment how intentional it is the way he pushes away everyone but the college's dozen wayward teenagers, and how much is just his bad personality.

Children he can protect. The world of sorcerer's is a harsh one, but it has still learned to excuse youth and its inexperience.

It makes you wonder again why he has you.

Your nose is cold by the time you run out of road and end up at your destination. Night washes out color and it hasn't helped the constant replay in your head, like the pages of a book flipping back and forth: bodies surrounding a bed, moving the bare figure on it, dead to the world.

When you enter the infirmary, the familiar scent of antiseptic and medicine just makes you shudder. The lights are low, half of them turned off given the late hour, tiled walls and floors gleaming dully. You move deeper into the building, listening, but the only footsteps are yours.

At every corner, you're apprehensive of what you might find.

The infirmary is dim and gray as the vision that woke you where pooling light doesn't touch. You hesitate once, just the tip of your finger on the door to a room you have been in before, and then steel your nerves and slide it open.

The fact Shoko can't describe how to create or use reverse-cursed energy used to frustrate Satoru. You'd thought she was enigmatic, since then you've come to understand.

Even when you can lay out the rules of a technique in perfectly comprehensible terms, the feeling is not so easy to describe.

How does Gojo Satoru make something that literally shouldn't exist? The answer lies in mathematics. The way Shoko repairs the human body is based in biology and physiology. Your own technique is only an answer to certain laws of physics.

Even Suguru, whose power was the closest to the kind of pure and terrible magic that you used to think existed only in storybooks, who didn't want to explain himself...

You'd guessed over a decade ago that his physical form was acting as some kind of barrier but the truth is you still don't understand it.

Even knowing what you know, maybe you don't understand any of the people around you.

Just like how Shoko can't quite explain herself, she can't explain why Nobara hasn't woken up yet. The curse called Mahito should have rent her to ribbons like it had done to Nanami but sorcerers are good at subverting what should happen.

Instead, she like so many other things, is simply a secret here, her injury frozen while Shoko carefully tries to augment whatever technique Nobara discovered at the edge of death.

She'll be fine, that's the verdict, but with nothing else to do, you come here to see her, to remind yourself of what it is you're protecting.

You sit on a hospital's version of a some kind of padded bench, and rest your elbows on your thighs and drift into an uneasy sort of vigil.

ii.

"Nightmare?"

Megumi's voice jolts you out of your doze. You can't have been here long because you don't yet feel the chill, but you hadn't heard him approach the door. He doesn't look convinced when you try and smile at him.

"You always did know. Even as a child."

"You shouldn't try to hide it."

You just give him another smile and Megumi sighs, settling down next to you on the bench. It's familiar the same way you sat down was familiar. The heaviness is a mirror to your own. You've seen him here and have left him alone while he works out whatever he has to at his healing teammate's side, silencing your steps to give him privacy.

"I'm proud of you, you know."

Megumi starts. He's been different, since Shibuya. You all have been, the world has changed, but there's a weight to his steps that's just... different.

Megumi rests his head against the wall, disordered hair even messier at the back than usual. He must have been here before you and stepped out. You must really look worn down if he broke the unspoken rule you'd both been abiding by. Or maybe he just wanted to be around a familiar face for a while.

The light in Nobara's room is turned down, and it's like the scratch of discordant strings, the screech of a train, the way the grey false memory of your dream cuts through your chest.

There's no such thing as prophetic sorcery. Nothing is set that far in stone.

And yet.

"I know what you're trying to do. The strategy is good, but if it's a choice between your lives and accomplishing your mission--"

You trail off while Megumi looks curiously down at where you're still hunched over your folded hands. You have just enough courage to let your hands shake a little in exchange for meeting his eyes and seeing the guard there, and the trust.

You turn away before you can see that most precious thing break.

"Take your lives."

You can feel the way Megumi stiffens beside you. He's been raised by the Strongest sorcerer in the world and told more than once that he has potential to be that equal. He can be forgiven the hope and arrogance that one can win it all.

Although... they'll be with Hakari, so maybe not.

There's always a price to be paid though. If the kids don't come back, if this kid you've known since he was six and far too serious--

"Gojo-sensei has done a lot for everyone," Megumi says, voice dark and low.

He tries to keep you out of it, is what you don't say. There's lines he won't cross. The spirit possessing our old classmate's body found one of them.

Even though the kid's taken up the mantle, clan head at his age, it's still worlds cleaner than it could have been.

"The world needs him," Megumi adds, and you say nothing to the slightly desperate edge. The world needs a lot of adults to do more than they are and some adults to do less than they've done.

"The world might be able to rise to the occasion," you reply, and you're trying for dry but even to your ears you just sound tired.

"Don't you want him back?" Megumi finally asks, quieter. He doesn't talk about the thing between you and Satoru. It's been what he knows most of his life even when he hated the "lanky layabout teenage delinquent" that showed up in front of him like some kind of criminal. He's old enough now to assume what is still, for the time being, true.

"I think that Gojo is a little safer in there than the rest of us out here." It's stupid to be this emotional about it, it was just a dream. "Don't you think?" you try and joke.

He gives you the kind of look he sometimes give Satoru when he does something to try and derail a conversation in the worst way possible.

"Well whatever Megumi-kun is going to do, is what Megumi-kun is going to do," you say, leaning back so your head touches the wall too, the chill seeping through your skin as you speak blithely into the air.

Megumi leans back and sags a little sideways, sighing. "You shouldn't worry so much," he finally says.

I wouldn't worry so much if you valued your own life a little more, but how can he? A sorcerer's life is lived in the service of a world which barely knows they exist, fighting the kind of battles that barely hold the line against curses. Protecting people from their own creeping self destruction.

You had normal friends, once upon a time. Sometimes you still see those people. You make excuses for your absences and fend off well meaning attempts to get you to try and date someone, to come out drinking and catch up, to see them more often than middle school reunions.

Satoru doesn't get it. He's never had any of that. A normal life? It's pointless to try and you don't miss it. Being a sorcerer is what you can do. It's just a hard truth that you have to do it alone.

Satoru wants the students strong enough to be an indispensable threat, to fill the ranks and tip the balance of power. You want them strong enough to stand together.

Sometimes you think that makes you the worse of the two of you.

"You don't have to take it all on your own. I know I'm not around a lot, so it's okay if my words don't carry as much weight. If it makes you feel better though, you all are the plan, so you can't go around dying. Satoru knows you're important to changing the world so--" don't let him ask you to die for him.

The mark between your shoulder blades burns.

"I'll be careful," Megumi says, but his voice is weird, too close, and you know why a second later as his head lands on your shoulder, curling up a little into himself like when he was younger. "I'll make sure Itadori is careful too."

He's hidden his face in the high collar of his jacket but your own embarrassment is harder to hide up close. "Well," you settle in, moving the bare minimum so Megumi can rest a little more comfortably without being embarrassed into leaving completely. "I'll be here. Probably."

His elbow digs into your side hard enough to knock your breath out.

"Ouch. I think Nobara is rubbing off on you. You know she's going to be insufferable about the reverse cursed technique once she wakes up."

Megumi hummed, amused, but went quiet after that. You felt as his breath deepened and more of his weight dropped against you and he eventually fell sleep.

iii.

"You smell like him," Shoko says, leaning against the wall. She doesn't have to say who. You are wearing a piece of clothing you'd left in his room for far too long and your old classmate has always had a sharp nose.

"Hmm," you distracted yourself by checking on Megumi again. You want to smooth the unruly hair from his forehead like you had done when he was a mistrustful boy, tug the wrinkles from his collar like you had when he was an angry middle schooler.

Now he's a sorcerer, somewhere between a man and a child, steady and kind and tired. You can see the dark circles under his eyes and the way he slouches when he walks has to do with that new weight he carries.

When you look up, Shoko is still looking at you. She hasn't given you a look like that since first year when none of you liked or trusted one another further than you had to.

You incline your head towards Nobara's bed anyways, giving her permission to enter the room. She doesn't need it. The infirmary sits squarely in your mind as part of Shoko's territory. When she's administering to her patients, she is the only one in charge.

Still, she gives you a wide berth on her way to check on Nobara and it gives you an odd sense of relief. You want to say it's because you came to talk to her as much as checking on the injured students, but begrudgingly you admit she's treating you like she would treat any Alpha guarding their pups. She comes close only to the one you've granted permission until you feel safe around her again.

They're not your kids, you remind yourself guiltily. You don't have that kind of right, no matter how protective you feel.

If I am ever incapacitated, look under the loose floorboard in his old room. You know the one where he kept Shoko's--

Cigarettes, yeah.

As if any of you could forget. It was so long ago, more years spent apart than together, but that year still haunts you like a ghost.

Earlier in the afternoon, you'd followed those instructions and found your own piece of Satoru's contingency plan. Then you'd watched it burn between your fingertips, turned to less than ash.

You wonder if Shoko is here for Nobara or for you.

She checks the girl's pulse and you watch her close her eyes in concentration, a golden glow filtering through Nobara's veins.

You're glad to see her chest rise and fall a little easier.

When Shoko finishes you use a tiny bit of your technique to draw her scent towards you on a breeze. She smells like smoke.

The scent flashes grey over those old memories of delinquent days.

What the hell are you two doing?

It's disconcerting to be left out of the loop, but as Satoru's letter proved, maybe it's the right thing to do. You do have your own part to play after all. It won't do to die yet.

You don't want to wake Megumi though. It's been a long time since the last time you've been able to take care of him. It's the only thing that's felt right since Satoru was sealed, since Nanami died.

It's not going to be yours much longer in any case. Maybe that's why Shoko quietly sits down at a desk in the corner and starts making notes in Nobara's chart.

He's not your kid. He's not even Satoru's kid, he was never adopted as a ward, the clans just didn't fight the sponsorship. And he's a few years too old to be able to pretend, which is probably a good thing. What kind of parent wants this kind of job for their child, for children to meet early deaths? Some of the students grew up being told there was honor in it, some that this was what they were born to do.

Megumi's smart, loyal. He could have found a way into the world of non-sorcerers and to a normal life. But he would never leave his sister behind or the promise he made. You don't think he's capable of leaving behind the people he's decided to care about. It would carve out his heart.

That more than anything reminds you you're not his Appa. He had a father and Satoru killed him.

"Megumi-kun" you say softly.

He stirs, but doesn't open his eyes. A muffled chuffing chirp is all you get as he turns his head into your arm.

Shoko's pen stills on the paper for a second before restarting. Still it's a second too long and it's probably the tension in your body that makes Megumi blink open his eyes before you call for him again.

"Sorry to wake you," you whisper.

Megumi sits up slowly, rubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand.

"You should go sleep in a bed. I'll come get you if anything changes."

He tips his head around your body to see Shoko, probably doodling nonsense right now to keep your instincts at bay.

Maybe he gets it because he nods sleepily and stretches when he stands.

You shrug off the oversized shirt, leaving you in your typical sorcerer blacks. The shirt is more like a jacket anyways, with a thick weave and heavy material, and it will help keep him warm on the walk back. "It'll be colder now, so don't linger, okay?"

He takes it with a little bit of red in his cheeks, but you already guessed he was leaning on you at least partly because it smelled like Satoru. Satoru who's always been there no matter how much Megumi didn't want to ask too much. He puts his nose in the collar as if he's cold.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

You hope your expression is a little more convincing this time. "I'll be fine. Get some rest."

When he leaves Shoko stays. She sits heavily beside you, her fingers tapping on her thighs like they want for something to do.

People don't look at Shoko. She is, like the school, a secret kept with silence. She keeps her own counsel the same way.

Once, you thought you would always know where to find her, but sitting here, in the pre-dawn dark, she is both familiar and a stranger.

The dream is fading, as dreams do. Already it has slowed so that it is no longer a familiar body, limp, spare, Hellenic muscle of his naked flank and thighs dimpling under some masked, gowned creature's handling. Turning your mate so that he lies lateral, faced away from you while horror yanks you back like a hook through your navel.

The scene turns to snapshots and the dull, ill feeling remaining to thrum through your body. It's a bitter match to your resolve.

"How's Toge?"

Shoko shrugs. "The wound is sealed but it's still resisting my technique. We have to wait for his blood supply to build back up before anyone tries again."

"I'll see him when he wakes up then."

"You're planning to stay the night?"

"You expect me to sleep after this?"

Shoko sighed, looking suddenly more tired. "You're really going through with it then? It's only been three days."

"They made the declaration this evening. Against any argument that this Getou isn't Suguru, the higher-ups have decided. Satoru's conditions have been met."

"Being his mate could still give you some pull," Shoko said, "even mated to the exiled clan head, you'll carry weight with some of the factions."

"They're already hunting Yaga. If I want to live long enough to make any difference at all, it has to be before they start sincerely going down the list and assigning bounties."

Her lips twist in distaste. She might be aware of sorcerer politics but you've always gotten the distinct impression she tries not to be.

"I didn't expect you to try talking me out of it." Aren't you in on whatever he's planning? Either way you're getting close to dangerous territory.

"It's not exactly a standard procedure but you should still know what your options are."

You carefully pressed the tips your fingers into into your left palm. You'd never thought of yourself as having pride exactly in the bond-mark. People in the non-sorcerer world could show theirs off but it meant something different in the sorcerer world.

Even though both of you typically had it covered, it's been there for almost four years, a constant reassurance of the promise you'd made to him. One hand comes up to grip your own shoulder.

Will he feel it?

"It's what has to be done," you say. You remember Satoru's wide hand coming to rest on your back, steering you clear of the Harajuku crowds. You remember brushing against the mark with the tip of your nose as you leaned over the back of the sofa, arms wrapped around his shoulders. You remember talking with him about it in the weeks before you'd bitten the mark bloody and deep at the very base of his neck. You remembered the way you own spine had bent when he placed his own mark on you.

"Ready?"

When could anybody who has made this choice be ready?

When you nod and Shoko's hand slips down the back of your neck and under the hem of your uniform to where your bond-mark hides.

The three steps of mating in the sorcery world are each a binding vow.

The bond vow is a less formal, more emotional tether, and the fear of loss makes one stronger. The emotional difficulty of leveraging that fear lending a sorcerer increased power. A marriage vow is a declaration, saying that this was someone important to you whom you would protect as family placed a target on each sorcerer in the bond and heightened the sense of risk. In the mating vow, the bond-mark that goes with it claims ownership and power, one over the other, sealing the other two bonds so that no one else could easily break them.

In return, its destruction destroys all physical evidence of the other two.

The bond-mark is a seal and can only be broken by the death contingency or by cursed and reverse-cursed energy being used on the seal at the same time. It's intentionally difficult, meant to protect the powers achieved by sorcerers entangled this way.

Shoko sets her fingers into the faint indented marking of the bond-mark bitten over where your heart chakra would be pierced through.

The mark resists her, but the crawling of your skin lets you know that the scar is already changing.

Better not to draw it out.

With your hand on the other side of your chest, you push cursed energy into the mark, swirling slowly around the elliptic shape. It feels hot and cold and like pins and needles as you break the muscle and collagen apart and Shoko knits it back together.

She presses her fingers into the smooth skin, checking on her work. But you can feel it. The bond-mark is gone.

As if it were never there at all.

It doesn't make any difference. You couldn't feel Satoru's presence before he was sealed or after.

It shouldn't make a difference, but you feel both lighter and heavier, like Gojo's gravity is still rooted somewhere in your body.

You drop your hand back to your knees.

Shoko doesn't leave.

You listen for Nobara, for her still-human breathing.

When you look over at her, Shoko is also looking down at the ground.

"I didn't think you'd do it."

You look back at the black and white pattern on the ground. You weren't sure you would either. It had felt too much like admitting defeat but then...

"I dreamt of him."

You shouldn't be saying anything. Shoko doesn't do this. But she's staying even though she should leave so you can make your confessions to a comatose fifteen year old who won't ever know you've been here.

"A bunch of scientists, rolling him on a table," you say, wry and feeling ridiculous. The dream doesn't sound terrible when you say it aloud. "Just... faceless people manipulating him while he just lies there." Unable to stop it. You, unable to stop it because you'd been as frozen as that day in the city, and then you'd woken up.

The dream might be fading but you feel like it's still happening.

Shoko straightens up and you know she's finally leaving. You know what she's thinking too because you made sure to say it that way, in the way that would make the dream a metaphor of what's happening right now. If you'd hinted at your simply literal horror, she'd be within her rights to laugh at you.

"So it's not like a vow will be useful anyways," you force your voice light and slightly self mocking. "He can't do anything from in there so why not pretend it never happened."

You raise your head only meet Shoko's apprehensive expression and falter. There aren't a lot of people who know for certain that Satoru is your mate. Now your place by his name in the family tree will be burnt away. The sealing ink on the marriage documents will fade to nothing. The bond itself might still exist, but any promises intentionally attached to it are blown away like so much sound in a gale.

There's a pinched edge to Shoko's usually cool expression. It's too bad that even with this, you can't promise not to leave her all alone. "Let me know if you need anything for it," she says before spinning on her heels and clicking away down the hall.

iv.

You bury your face into your folded hands, thinking of that body, his body, knuckles pressed hard to your forehead, while the vision shifts slowly to Shoko, to the dead-limp body of the students, to Nanami's hellbent flesh, and back.

You hadn't told Shoko everything.

The only part you can't shake was the way that grayscale atrocity began - with Gojo Satoru torn open and bloody like that day, something bundled and birthed dead being taken from him, and how you knew even while he was turned away from you that he was back to being as pristine as he was when this began.

Megumi leaves again in the morning and you don't say goodbye from the window where you're watching. You didn't go back to sleep, there's too much to do. Your power courses like a livewire inside of you.

You started cycling it to see if your typical energy was still there. You should feel weaker without the vows and restrictions weighing you down, but for now you don't. Anger pours molten through you, fear slinks under it like ice. Grief lays over it all like it lays over everyone and the black and white terror of truly losing what Megumi really means when he talks about the world needing Gojo Satoru is both more stark and more abstract in the morning.

You've never thought of yourself as living in Satoru's shadow. Suffering that particular misconception was thankfully prevented by having a good insight into the reality. You hated that there were so many things he took care of alone.

Megumi doesn't think you have it in you to burn the world. You'd seen the faint disbelief in his eyes when you'd told him to give up on Satoru if it meant surviving. And maybe he's right.

But what he doesn't see, behind the mask Satoru wears and Shoko's distance and Suguru's death and your silence is that you all became monsters. Maybe Gojo Satoru chose to keep you close because for a while you were the only one left.

If the kids don't come back, you think it might just be enough.

Gojo Satoru isn't the only nightmare in the world after all.

[ask-the-k-rising-members]

-ˏˋ⋆ character info 1 || next -> ⋆ˊˎ-

SNEEDLY

Name: Melvin "Sneedly"

Nicknames: Sneed, Gustavo/Gustavito (Jerry), and Mel

Pronouns: he/him [+ any pronouns]

Age: 9-10 (little age: 2-5)

Occupation: student, assistant, leader's punching bag (formerly)

State: alive

Last seen: September or November, ???

- - - - - -

Appearance

Before the tragic event, Sneedly had his normal light yellow shit with a red bowtie, pants mixed between blue and green and green-ish brown shoes.

Later after the incident/terrible event, his clothes were ripped and ruined, skin covered in bruises and wrist, forearm, thighs covered in scars (I'm not gonna explain why, just take a big guess :/ )

but later on he wears some clothes like Krupp's, his glasses were shattered and his hair was messy. His eyes were crossed (sometimes normal or crossed. Maybe he may have hypotropia but we don't know yet.)

- - - - - -

Personality

After the event he began changing, instead of a greedy and selfish tattletale, he became soft and sensitive. Due to his trauma he reacts quickly and panics. May act childish or friendly.

But if someone ever trigger him or harm him, Sneedly will immediately attack the person. His behavior may change from friendly to aggressive the more he changes.

- - - - - -

Trivia (well facts/mini info)

🖍• His intelligence was taken away BEFORE he was hospitalized few weeks. No one knows how he lost his intelligence but other says he was brainwashed or changed.

🧸• He was being used as a human experiment for his principal to test. Being treated like a rat and tormented.

🖍• Ever since he was out of the Hospital, Sneedly started acting weird, he bite or attack students and staffs (who tried to interact with him or accidentally triggered him at the point he would start harming someone), getting distracted easily, disobeying the staffs, biting & scratching himself. Struggling to speak properly and hiding himself away from people.

- At first, the Sneedly family thought it was normal at first until another complain came about their child biting a girl (Jessica) and ripping her skin from her arm with his bare teeth during a fight. This of course made Gaylord/Mr. Sneedly furious and stressed that his son was acting like an animal and tried his best to find a way to "fix" his child.

🧸• Unfortunately his dad didn't wanna spend money on therapy cuz according to him, therapy may be very expensive. Online or not Gaylord doubted that finding a useful therapist won't solve until one day in the middle of a parent meeting the principal decided to convince Mr. Sneedly to sign the contract (the organization paper), and explained he can actually "fix" him for the dad and Mr. Gaylord agreed.

- NOT realizing it's not a safe camp for children that has problems. It was a big lie that Mr. Sneedly took and brought the child to the school to let the principal take care of him for the parents.

🖍• During his first day, it was difficult cuz of lack of motivation and scared to trust his principal after all the things he has done to him BEFORE he was sent to the hospital. The yelling, bruises, insults and experiments were causing the child to be too weak and unstable to defend himself.

-But he was used to it now due to him not realizing he was developing Stockholm syndrome (NOT in the romantic way remember that now. Feeling pity and guilt for his principal/abuser)

- Sadly his future self still has the syndrome and has a toxic ex-partner who left him. Because of that Sneedly was too scared to be in another relationship with someone and blames himself for not being good enough

🧸• Would call his principal/leader "dad". Although the principal was an abusive and dangerous person, Sneedly would call him "dad" or "Papa Ben" to feel connected to him more than his actual father.

🖍• He age regress due to heavy trauma and stress. Tries very hard not to regress in front of others.

🧸• his relationship with the other assistants makes him feel "safe". Other Sophie and Dante are like big/older siblings to him while Harold was like a twin to him.

🖍• His interest are drawing, cartoon, color orange and sweeties

🧸• Meanwhile He may see Jerry/Mr. Citizen as the older brother, well a "dad" as well. But he's scared of other staffs.

🖍• Has trust issues, even if the person is a staff or a student he is scared to trust them.

🧸• the first assistant that has no number tag on his shirt unless he gets lost and needs to use a tag to remember his number.

[project-sunniva-sterling]

IRIS LEE AND THE SHADOW LORD - Ch. 1: "I Escape Prison (Dad Would Be Proud)"

it's not actually a prison, just a mental hospital. 

When you think of mental hospitals what do you think of?

 Right, crazy people in straight jackets. 

So you might ask yourself, well Iris is probably crazy since she's in a mental hospital, right? Nope, I'm good. really. I’m as sane as you get in a mental hospital. I came here on purpose when i was younger, unfortunately.

My life wasn't the best.

  I got the fantastic idea to act mentally ill so I could leave my home (i was desperate, okay?)

I went to my library and read books on ‘mental disorders.’ My acting was so good I was ‘all of the above.’ Unfortunately, it worked. (they were a bit confused when I started to act normal. Good thing I read a little extra into mental illness stuff or I would’ve gotten caught).

I told them once that I was forgetting things about myself. But of course, I remember.

My name is Iris Lee, yadda yadda. I'm Hispanic, my hair is black and bushy and my eyes are so brown they look black as well. I was born on November 16th, and my birthstone is Topaz, and my birth flower is Chrysanthemum. Why am I telling you this?

I don't know, but you're now cool for knowing me.

So, here I am, sitting in this plain white bed I've slept in since I was eight.

 It's not all bad.

No wait, yes it is.  

 It's been the same white color since I got here; believe me, I've tried to change that. The walls are white, the sheets are white, the curtains are white, doors, super baby-proofed window sill, floor, ceiling, cabinets, white, white, white, white, white -you guessed it- white.

Even the clothes they make us wear as the uniform is a white, button-up, long-sleeved shirt with loose white pants like pajamas. 

So, Iris, you’re maybe thinking, why do you hate it? You wanted to come there.

Well, maybe perhaps because being stuck in a prison isn't exactly what I had in mind. that, my friends, is why I'm leaving.

I open the drawer in my bedside table, inside, is a keycard. One day, we were outside and i needed to use the bathroom. So I asked a lady who worked here and she gave me a keycard so I could go inside to use the bathroom. When i tried giving it back, she denied she ever gave it to me, so i kept it.

I never saw her again after that day.

And so I walked to the door across the room to my right; Ashton’s room, and I slid the key card through the card sensor.

With a snap the door opened.

The room looked just like mine, white everything. 

On the bed lay Ashton Mason, he wore the same mental hospital uniform, like mine. He has shaggy, platinum-blond hair and piercing blue eyes. 

    “Hey, Eyeball,” he said, sitting up to face me.

My nickname is Eyeball. He calls me that because there's that part of your eye called an ‘Iris’. yeah.

    “Hey Ashton,” I replied. “Have you been thinking about my offer?”

    He shook his head. “You know I can't Iris, I have a mom to get home to when I get out, assuming Dad is still in prison. And I don't think its a good idea, what if we get caught? My mom can't stand being alone for so long, not after Cora.”

Cora was Ashton’s older sister, Ashton had a picture of her and his parents on his bedside table, and she looked a lot like Ashton, with her platinum blonde hair and blue eyes. She was about ten when she died from an unknown cause. 

“Quit worrying,” I chided. “We won't get caught.”

“I can't Iris,” he muttered. “If we get caught, they'll just make us stay longer. They'll assume I'm still ill. Even more than they do now.”

“You know they'll never let us go anyways.” I sighed. “So we might as well take our chance.”

“I can’t, I'm sorry.”

“Whatever,” I hissed. 

Ashton has been my friend since I got here. leaving would mean losing my only friend, and I wasn't very ecstatic about that.

    “Look,” I mumbled. “I'm sorry, but I gotta do this, or ill go insane.”

    “‘Kay.” he breathed.

    “I might not see you again after this.”

    He got off his bed and walked to the side I was standing on and hugged me. “Stay safe Iris. I'll uhm, miss you.”

“I will, and I'll miss you as well.”

He pulled away and laid back down on his bed. “Bye,”

“Bye,” I muttered

I walked back into my room and shut the door behind me. I was really going to miss him.

I walked to the other side of my room where there was another door. Behind it was a girl named Dione. She's not really my friend, but we talk sometimes even though she creeps me out; she constantly speaks of spirits that speak to her in her head, she seems fine for a bit then pauses; then talks about spirits; then doesn't talk. It's probably the weirdest thing I've seen, and I live in California. You must think I know what's going on with her since I read those mental illness books, but the truth is; no I don't. I hardly remember what I read now considering I read it, what, Five years ago? The reason I know how to act the way I do is because I've been doing it for so long, and i'll get in big trouble if they find out I've been screwing with them for five years. And I really don't want to go home.

I knocked on Dione’s door.

“Come in.” chirped Dione from inside.

I came inside

Dione was a girl around ten-or-eleven, she had long, curly brown hair with blonde highlights, her skin was a pale butterscotch and her eyes were hazel. She's nice when she's not acting weird.

“Hi,” she said. “Are you leaving today?”

“Yeah,” I replied. “You can come if you want.” 

“No,” she bit her nail. “The spirits wouldn't like that.”

I Told you.

“Ooh-kay,” I stepped back in caution. “You tell yourself that.”

Dione started staring blankly at the wall.

“Well,” I finally said. “Bye.”

“The spirits told me you are very special...” she mused.

“What?” I asked.

She didn't reply.

Maybe, I thought, If I say ‘bye’ again she’ll explain.

I cleared my throat. “bye.”

She waved thoughtfully but didn't reply.

Wow. She doesn't need new medicine, I thought. What she needs is a priest.

I left the room, good timing too, it was time for my “new medicine”.

The nurse and doctor wore white coats, the nurse’s name was Nurse Smith, and the doctor was Dr. Martinez. 

Dr. Marinez wasn't a jerk, he spoke calmly to the patients, but sternly to the nurses and other workers like he expected them to mess up horribly; which they do. He speaks to the patients softly like he expects them to cooperate; which they don’t.

Nurse Smith is a total full-blown jerk. He knows it too. But he’s been nicer to me ‘cause I threatened to tell his boss about him going out with the secretary. Which isn't allowed.

“Here is your medicine.” The Nurse muttered.

So why am I taking the meds and not just running away? Two reasons; Smith and Martinez always fight about something, anything. So I will wait until the time is right. And if I leave while they're not here, they'll be sent after me to bring me back (i swear, it's like they appear out of nowhere). On Wednesdays, they cover for every other doctor and nurse who isn't here. They took that job because they get paid a lot more. Plus there are cameras in my room, and by the time they would stop fighting and realize I'm gone, I would've already kissed the mental hospital goodbye and been kissing freedom hello.

“Thanks,” I grinned.

“What are you grinning about?” he snapped.

“Doctor Martinez,” I called. Am I a brat? Yes. And I've made peace with that.

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry.”

The medicine was blue in a small dosing cup, I drank it and it tasted like trash. Literally.

While I was drinking the meds, the doctor looked at me and his eyes widened.

 “The medicine was supposed to be red. Smith, why is it blue?”

“Wasn't the medicine on A-453?” Smith replied.

“No,” the doctor growled. “It was on B-543. All the drugs from the A fridge are untested you- you- IDIOT.”

“Well, now we know what it does! Quit worrying, see? She looks fine” the Nurse complained.

“That's not the point.”

They move across the room away from me to argue, if they were smart, they would go into the hallway to argue or at least keep an eye on me.

So what did I tell you? They know nothing. So while they were bickering, I was slipping out of bed. They stupidly left the door open so leaving was no problem.

Now for the hard part; actually leaving.

The meds hadn't kicked in, or it had and it didn't do anything. I'm not entirely sure how medicine works.

I walked down the hall, the floor was a dull grey and the walls were white. Lined all down the hall were doors with patients lying in beds inside, they all looked miserable except for the few whose parents or relatives had stopped by. I wished my grandmother was still alive. I'm sure she would’ve visited me.

I walked down the hall and took the elevator down to the fifth floor. The doors were locked so only doctors, nurses, or whoever had a master keycard could use them, good thing I had this keycard. I walked to the storage room where they kept patients' belongings that we brought here from home and didn't have to “keep us safe." Really, what are we gonna do? Stab ourselves with our plush animals? or become blinded by the colors that aren't white we apparently weren't allowed to see? Seriously?

Since most of the doctors weren't working, the halls weren't crowded. And it was pretty easy getting in. The storage room was as big as a school cafeteria. Shelves lined the walls and everyone's stuff was in large Tupperware. It took me a while to find mine before I realized it was organized by floor number, so I looked for floor six and found it. I took my Tupperware box down from one of the shelves and took a look.

I got here when I was eight… so almost none of my clothing fit except the ones I had brought for this occasion; a baby blue blazer, a black and white striped long-sleeved shirt, black jeans, and black boots. All of which are stolen. haha. I always think ahead. I'm a genius. Besides, they’d never think to look for stolen goods in a mental hospital.

There also was a backpack and a water bottle. I forgot I packed that.

I quickly put the clothes on, they looked great on me. I'm a genius.

I put my old uniform clothes in the bin and put them back on the shelf. I felt my heart rate getting a bit faster but I assumed it was from the excitement of finally leaving.

I got back in the elevator and go down to the first floor. The main room on the first floor is the front desk which is right by the elevator. I held my breath and leaned back onto the back elevator wall, but the receptionist doesn't look at me. I relaxed and crawled my way to the desk so if she got up, she wouldn't see me. What I didn't tell you is what I have in my pockets; pebbles from outside. Just small rocks, but great for distractions. I threw the rock across the room. The lady didn't seem to notice. I threw a slightly larger one. That got her attention. She looked in my direction and didn't see me. And started to walk towards the small rock. I threw a rock across the room in my direction, so it would make her think it came from her side of the room, good thing there's a hallway on the side she's on. She starts down the hallway yelling for Smith to stop hitting on her when they're at work. I stifle a laugh. Only in California, folks…

I start to feel a little nauseous. But I assume its the adrenaline, I needed to go. Especially because there's a voice on the PA system alerting others that I have escaped. Oh boy. 

So I ran as fast as possible. Becoming more and more aware of my nausea. I'm starting to think that the medicine was poison, but I don't stop. I will not go back there. Ever.

When I stopped, I was deep in the woods, I don't know if any of the employees from the hospital were following me, but if they were, I'm sure I lost them.

I felt awful, my mouth full of saliva from my nausea, and my body ached.

I tried breathing through my nose and out my mouth as my grandmother taught me when I got sick from eating bad food, it's supposed to make nausea better.

My grandmother was the only relative I felt actually loved me. On my wrist is a blue ribbon, the same color as my jacket, perhaps a little lighter. I wouldn't let the doctors take it away, I fought them before they gave up (you don't want to see me in fight mode). My grandmother gave it to me after I broke her vase. She had called it the ‘ribbon of forgiveness.’ She gave me tons of ribbons, one at a time, for each lesson and talk we would have. But I cherished this one the most. It showed she cared about me. Why did she leave me? Why did she have to die? My heart is racing. My stomach hurts. The medicine is kicking in. I sit down at the root of a large tree. My vision is blurry. The corners of my vision is darkening. Tears form in my eyes; I don't want to die like this. I wish I could just talk to Ashton again. Perhaps give Dione a hug, I should've been nicer to her, it's not her fault she's weird. I stand up and start pacing, hoping it would help.  I see my vision getting darker.

I feel myself lose my lunch. And I fall over before losing consciousness.

[ayangamelia]

Halfway Through 2024

It's the end of July. There are a lot of different emotions and life changes throughout this very short time. It almost feels like every layer of my life shakes and back to zero point. Almost every day I asked myself where I wanted to go in this life, whether it would be worth it to try a different job, whether I could get a different job, and will I finally be satisfied and content after I decided to get a different job? I am trying to find an answer to those questions but I never find one. It is like I am trying to make a new melody, a new song, but I have not yet found the right tune. If there is such a right tune, because I don't know exactly what kind of song I want to make. I have broken up badly with someone, who less than a month later apparently found another one. A very brief relationship. As I understand that we were not a match and his life trajectory has nothing to do with me from the very beginning (past and present), it just sucks to see his life moving forward greatly. It sucks more to even know that his state of life now also has nothing to do with me, it is purely his effort that has been built from ages ago.

I was financially insecure in early 2024. When I was finally able to bounce back after a couple months, I was sick and had to go to two specialists, three tests, and a bunch of medicines that cost me a fortune. Even now, it is not clear yet. I have to go back to the hospital around November to get another test. So I am back to square one.

I think my relationship with my family is getting better. I don't feel that much anxiety when I go home. Even if they start to argue and crack, I have some boundaries set so I hope it won't affect me too much every time it happens. I also prepare mentally before planning to go home. Three days is the duration that I allow myself to be at home, and it has to be planned way prior so I can prepare. I don't think it is normal to feel anxious to come home to your own family. But I guess that is my current state now.