#HES SO FUSSY

[niymue]

and if there's one thing that can wake the dead...

frederick: screaming nia: eugh

[0ffisially0ll0]

its time to drink water

[galedekarios]

😾

[megafaunatic]

silliest guy in ankh-morpork

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

No Homo. Just committed to the bit.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[tswwwit]

What do you think are Dippers and Bill's favorite ice cream flavor(s)?

Huh, good question. I'm not sure!

Dipper probably has some kinda plain taste like chocolate, but he might be adventurous enough that he prefers pistachio.

Bill, meanwhile - where to start? Eggplant? Liver? Caviar? Tiger Tail? It could be anything weird, but honestly it might be funnier if he's the one who just likes a good vanilla.

[sicklymadscientist]

Too many arms, not enough time to decide which one to cover with.

[saintshigaraki]

was just hit with a vision of naga nai making you suck some venom off one of his fangs

[mortysmith]

wait but guysssssssss rosemary and davekat fankids ??!

[mgu-h]

lando nostalgia 56/? • italian gp 2020 • language tutor carlos

[doobledabbadoo]

french tomato but 10% more bastard

[somegrumpynerd]

I am setting on a comfy chair ignoring CatMare while reading I won’t pay attention to him and he can’t make me.

How dare you not pay attention to him ignoring you!!

...also what are you reading he wants to read it too or perhaps sit on it

[wordstome]

VIENNA HAS A BALL SEASON???

the way I’d beg König to take me and he’d be like you don’t even know how to do a Viennese waltz (i think he would know how but he’s awful at it)

[necrotic-nephilim]

for the ask game

tim creates a clone of kon, but this is dicktim tim has to carry the fetus or breastfeed it, but dick suddenly gets a mommy kink and immediately falls in love

for the ask game!

DICKTIM MOMMY KINK. how did you know i have such a thing for just about any Batcest ship where the other person calls Tim mommy. i don't even know why i just think that shit is so fun.

it'd have to be Omegaverse for me, that's the only scenario i personally could write m-preg. i like the thought of no one knowing that Tim has gone on this crusade. and after 99 failures, Tim's so desperate and angry he tries in vitro fertilization. the first few times it doesn't work so he doesn't take it too seriously, at this point it's just a compulsion. he gets to a point he stops taking the pregnancy tests. so when about a month later, he's experiencing morning sickness and he's missed his heat, Tim has an 'oh, shit.' moment. and well. telling Dick first is his *natural* answer. (i think he'd also go to Steph, but in canon she'd be "dead" at this point) Tim doesn't know what to do, he didn't think he'd get this far. Dick is comforting and grounding, agreeing to help Tim hide this the best he can. Tim has to time it right, fake a bad injury so it makes sense he's benched and wearing baggy sweaters for a few months.

it's platonic at first. Dick is an alpha but his bond with Tim is more of a pack bond and he's just trying to help Tim through this awkward situation he got himself into. (and not laugh at him too much in the process bc well. only Tim. only Tim could manage this.) the pregnancy hormones have Tim all over the place. he's seeking comfort and Dick is trying to keep it platonic and professional, even when he's cuddling Tim or bringing him weird cravings at 2 am. the trust in Dick and Tim's bond makes Dick Tim's only real support system. (also just bc the Titans were a goddamn mess in this era) maybe at some point they tell Bruce the truth but Bruce is dealing with Jason so. bigger fish. it forces them closer as Dick is the only one who can help Tim with the awkward sides of pregnancy. Dick is basically living with Tim and because Tim can't satiate the itch to be in the field (he's tried sneaking out, it earned him a lecture from Dick and a warning that Dick would handcuff him to the radiator if Tim tried that again) so Tim runs comms. for anyone who asks, but mostly for Dick, to the point he's in Dick's ear even when Dick doesn't need the backup, just to keep each other company.

i think, as the pregnancy went on and Tim's chest started to fill out and his hips are bigger, that's when Dick's feeling shift. one second Tim is just his pack, the next Tim is suddenly a very pretty, very vulnerable omega that's Dick is protecting and his wires get all kinds of crossed about it. he starts dousing himself in scent blockers so Tim doesn't notice the change, can't smell how much Dick wants him. which makes Tim annoyed because Dick's scent has been a consistent calming factor keeping the worst of his hormones in check. it'd lead to an awkward fight where Dick is dancing around the truth and Tim just wants to bite him out of anger. finally, Dick admits it and. Tim kind of bluescreens bc sure he's had a crush on Dick for years, but it's sort of like your celebrity crush calling you up and asking for a date. it makes no sense and he can't wrap his head around it. he almost thinks Dick is making fun of him, because Tim is super self-conscious about the pregnancy and mortified he put himself in this situation. it takes a lot of reassurance and a long conversation, but. well, they do end up having sex.

Dick doesn't *mean* to call Tim mommy the first time. he knows Tim hates being emasculated as an omega, and knows Tim is vulnerable about being pregnant. their sex is gentle, no matter how much Tim insists he can take it because Dick doesn't want to hurt the baby, or Tim. it's when Tim finally huffs with annoyance and flips them over -reminding Dick that Tim is still trained and deadly, even like this- to take control and actually get the rough sex he needs right now, when it slips out. there's something just very pretty about Tim taking control and taking what he needs from Dick, but still being whiny and squirmy on top of him. so the first time Dick calls him mommy is an accident and they're *both* startled by just how much they like it. their sex life goes from soft and caring to *very* interesting overnight, where Dick doesn't hide how much he likes Tim's chest. and well. breastfeeding kink. for completely scientific reasons, of course. just to help the milk flow and make sure Tim's body is adjusting well. definitely not bc of the noises Tim makes when Dick does it no sir.

when Tim finally has the clone baby, they're both smitten with this tiny clone. i think they'd end up mating and either say it's Dick's baby or they adopted it. (the lie only works short term bc well, sooner or later that baby's going to start lifting trucks. not to mention Kon does come back to life and is perturbed by how much Tim's kid looks like him.) it's a very cute, fluffy happily ever after sort of deal, with plenty of mommy kink. i think Tim would be huffy and annoyed at how long he'd have to wait for sex bc in my mind, Tim uses sex as a stress relief and is very annoyed when he's deprived of it so, they'd find creative ways around it.

[sukibenders]

The Bridgertons definitely give me the vibe of the type of family to be competitive when it comes to spoiling children, but this becomes especially prevalent when Kate and Anthony reveal they are expecting and baby Eddy is finally born. There's a score sheet for who brought the most items, who receives the most smiles and laughs (when Colin is in the lead, Eloise proclaims that baby Edmund is just suffering from gas because she's totally not a sore loser) and so on so forth. Benedict lets him play with his paint sets, much to his parents and Violet's dismay. One time he commented, jokingly, that he saw baby Edmund being a great painter and a vein nearly burst from Anthony's forehead.

When Daphne catches word of this competition, she quickly drags Simon into it, spending more time carrying her nephew than his own father (who is totally not jealous and seeks every opportunity he can to steal him away). Imagine the family's surprise when a crate arrives from Prussia thanks to aunt Edwina, filled with an arrangement of toys and fine clothing from different parts of the world, supplying baby Edmund (more so his parents) with an endless selection than what he knows what to do with.

(Kate and Anthony quickly put forth boundaries, attempting to halt any further attempts of their family's splurging and excessive spoiling. The rest of the Bridgertons, however, add another opponent to their list. Baby Edmund is just happy for the ride.)

[bitterseaproduction]

I’ve been seeing lots of posts about Thorin & Bilbo being into each other since Day 1, and that had me contemplating a scenario where they weren’t at such odds with each other at their first meeting (i.e. cranky at a bunch of invasive dwarves + wizard vs expecting the burglar to die within .2 seconds and cause problems in the process).

It could be something very mundane or AU-y, but for something closer to canon, what if Thorin was dragged into accepting he has to work with/trade with/fight along some elves? And even if the intent is there, both sides just keep making a mess of it? And Gandalf’s suggestion when he hears of it is to hire a mediator. Say, perhaps, a person of neither race, but one well acquainted with elves and likely open to dwarves? Someone of good standing, educated, and who is naturally diplomatic?

Seems iffy, but still Thorin allows himself to be guided escorted by Balin and Dwalin and his nephews right into the heart of the Shire and to the door of some gently-bred halfling Gandalf recommended, who will likely prove to be just as standoffish and finicky and soft as the rest of the people Thorin’s encountered—

Then the round green door opens, and his mind goes blank as equally round green eyes stare back at him. Then the halfling bearer of those eyes stumbles back while stumbling over his words, and Thorin should logically be doubting the stranger’s appropriateness for this mission, but he’s too distracted by something to consider the matter.

And his cousins and nephews are initially just baffled by the pair of them, but by the time they close negotiations and leave the Shire, Dwalin is asking his brother what happens if the elves think their king is ‘fraternizing’ with their negotiator before they’ve even held a meeting. The boys think it’s hilarious, but Balin doesn’t find the question droll in the slightest.

Fast forward, and by the time they reach Rivendell they are ALL sweating a little when they suspect the ‘fraternizing’ isn’t a joke at all.

Long story short, the biggest challenge the alliance of dwarves and elves faces is not the question of Thranduil’s betrayal, nor the gems he covets, nor any age old point of spite between the two races. No, it is the exiled dwarf king accusing Lord Elrond of trying to tempt HIS hobbit into staying in Rivendell when Thorin has made it PERFECTLY CLEAR to any dwarf he intends to install Bilbo in Erebor as soon as it is reclaimed.

No one is more taken aback by this claim than Bilbo Baggins himself, but that isn’t to say he is, ahem, ‘unamenable’ to the idea.

(Some would later, however, accuse Bilbo of playing up his reluctance to abandon Bag End at all, as the effort to coax the hobbit into relocation and outright, openly proclaimed consortship quite soundly and conveniently distracted the king away from accusations that might have caused a complete and utter dissolution of the alliance. But truly, if it were true? Well. The hobbit was quite the diplomat.)