#HELP AAAAHH
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I AM IN AGONY
#i just want to see this one actor 😭😭😭#i only found one site that showed it had the movie and it started playing the wrong movie 😭😭#movies#HELP AAAAHH#wrong blog whoops#the movie is up there 2011 starring burn gorman just btw 😭#found another site that acknowledges ots existence but every server just says error or file unavailable 😭
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my gf & i rented a booth at a craft market; my side's kinda sparse rn lol, but i'm working on it 👍💫✨️
gf is so cool & multitalented!! painting, jewelry, drawing, resin... amazing!! 🥰
#help how do i sell shit#1st time selling my art#aaaahh!#craft market#crochet#freeform crochet#fiber art#stoner art#spiral
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did a thing :]
OOOOH MY GGOOOODDDDD 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I GIGGLED FOR A MINUTE STRAIGHT AT THIS HDBFBVGDJFGN I CAN'T WITH BE'S FACE ALL OF THIS IS LITERALLY SO THEM
AND I'M THERE TOO!!!!! THANK YOU I LOVE IT
#I was having dinner so I was staring at my phone and giggling while eating my fries help me 😭#no bc this is everythigg#inspirational to keep working on the au even#THANK YOU SM OP AAAAHH#ihnmaims#i have no mouth and i must scream#am ihnmaims#ihneaimc#i have no eyes and i must cry#be ihneaimc
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"Past or future, let them be."
#link click#aaaahh loving the manhua#shiguang#shiguang dailiren#manhua#tired boi's memes#tired boi is thinking too much (help me)
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yaayy finally started watching bsd again waaah i missed them all (kunikida) sm
#hsjshdhfhhdhdhahs#DAZAI TOOOOOOO#AND I WANNA SEE CHUUUUUUUUUUU#PSPSPPSSSS CHUUU COME TO ME CHUUUUU#i still put on the sub though#even though i said i'd go for the dub this time but#aaaahh#i love kunikida's n chuuya's va's so much i couldn't help it i literally did it for them lmao#mayor of loserville
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COMPLETE!!! CUTE TOGETHER!!!! LOVE!!!!
#AAAAHH FINALLY CUTE TOGETHER#someone also pointed out about of course the blue#of dako's kimono as the sky help ill puke and scream#yakudou kimono~~~#fgo
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Bro where did this wave of love even COME from I just queued a bunch of scout art for later and I wanna draw some nice sibling stuff and I'm thinking about how Engie calls him Jackrabbit and my partner calls me bunny rabbit waaahh 😭😭💖💖
#jane journals#self insert talk#platonic f/o#familial f/o#⚾️ strike out siblings ⚾️#<- a litfle smth im trying out. idk bonk brother never seemed satisfactory to me#so here we go!!#aaaahh i can feel a tf2 mini fixation coming on.#its weird that its so close to my rex anniversary tho like#im working on balance 😂😂 the queue helps tbh!! i post a wider variety of things#even tho i do curate it a little#ANYWAY!!!#IDK WHERE THIS LOVE CAME FROM!!!#i wanna draw us as kids and hanging out as adults and stuff#and i thought itd be kinda funny if i drew a little comic where miss pauling meets my s/i for the first time#like. scout is like 'hey wanna meet my sister?' and pauling is envisioning femscout and already rolling her eyes#but she sees junie instead who immediately compliments her and is all bubbly and sweet and paulings lesbian ass is all 😳💖💖💖💖#even just cause shes not around sweet genuine compliments from girls very often 👉👈#i may have a crush on miss pauling#damn scout sorry i stole ur girl 🤭🤭🤭#ougghh fuck i actually wanna think more about that
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I don’t care how many times I listen to it The Underworld always makes me cry
#IT GIVES ME SO MANY FEELS HELP#the part with anticlea tears my heart into tiny pieces AAAAHH#and the way Ody just belts out those lyrics#after seeing his men and Polites and Anticlea#and the music literally makes it sound like it’s all converging on him#all that pressure#just crushing him#and breaking his spirit#alsndkdndmdn#trin rambles
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guess who just completely embarrassed themselves by fangirling over a popular blog???? me, it’s me
I also sent an equally as fangirl-y ask they luckily didn’t post…. but they messaged me instead and aaaahhh
#the message was just saying ‘aren’t you more popular than me??’#like confused as to why I was freaking out lol#which idk but I still can help fangirling and aaaaahhhh#I need to stop sending asks as my unnamed hellsite blog#also#like they’re on anon but I sign them lol#its dumb and embarrassing and aaaahh#grace is dramatic#unnamed hellsite blog#tumblr ™
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some dumb Vampire Lestat sketches
#art#vampire lestat#vampire chronicles#i've only finished the second book and oh man#im in love#louis is my spirit animal#i'm not prepared to read queen of the damned in any way#dionysus in san francisco#aaaahh#i need prof help
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oh oh hello sel, dear 😌🩷✨️ i saw your moots emoji request and i was wondering if i could this liddol plant ?? 🌱 if that's okay ! 🥺
willow 🥺💓 hello!!! of course you may use that liddol plant!! it is so cute!! so fitting for you!! 🥹 i am excited to use it in your tags now hihi 🤭 -> willow.🌱
thank you so much for helping me sort out your tag by sending me your emoji!! 🥹
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TO MY MOOTS! currently fixing my moots tag to [name].[emoji] (ex: sel.☁️)!
if it’s okay, can you please send me which emoji you’d like me to use for you? (either thru replies or ask!! any is fine, and repeats are okay too!!)
so sorry, i wanted to message you all individually but don’t have the time (and i want to fix the tags alr! so they’re cute 🥹) thank you so much❣️
#willow.🌱#AAAAHH it feels like a debut!!! SO CUTE 🥹🥹#thank you for helping out willow 💖#sorry everyone i rlly wanted to message u individually but akdnkxjd time is a bit tricky lately !!#ask#rep
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How about beloved Ryder!
Oh, I'm always ready to talk about my black sheep of the family <3 Since I saw no number, I'll just do all of them, so this is probably going to be super long. I'll set a cut somewhere.
01. Full name:
Ryder's full name is Gilbert von Scharfenberg. He hates his real name for a good reason: his family – wealthy pure German Corpo blood. Basically no one knows that he's a Scharfenberg either – except for Vijay, because he was the one who deleted all of Ryder's data soon after he left his old life behind. So, basically if you scan him it would only show 'Ryder' and nothing else (I still write it out here on tblr completely bc it sounds so damn good <3). As soon as the family moved to the NUSA, Ry started calling himself 'Ryder' using it as his nickname from now on. It comes from the German surname 'Reiter' (rider, horseman), which was his first love's surname (who sadly died, getting shot by a Cyberpsycho during a rave in a club in Berlin).
02. Best friend:
Ryder's bestie is Vijay Steyr. They know each other since 2071. Vijay is the guy who helped Ryder out of his old life (mentioned above). They didn't met in person back then but their paths crossed a while later again: they ran into each other at a Depeche Mode party, talked, became buddies, then also lovers shortly after. The relationship lasted about a year and they parted for reasons everyone understood and accepted. Ryder rarely saw V the following year, because he needed a bit time and was busy with his own life/job, but Vijay eventually began to contact him again in 2074 when he got into buisness with Jackie doing merc jobs. They needed someone on the front and Ryder was the best guy Vijay could think of since he has mantis blades and a good know how about Militech and Corpo things as well. After Jackie died on a secret job neither V nor Ry knew about, the bond between the two got stronger again and today (2077/78) they are best friends. If you listen to their talking you could also say they sound like an old married couple. Ryder would protect V with his own life and it's vice versa. Vijay was there for him in his worst times, helped him to settle into his new 'street kid' life and most of all: pep talked Ry all the time tearing that wall down he had built up for years. Vijay is defnitely the reason why Ryder feels content with himself and smiles so often now.
03. Sexuality:
Ryder is openly gay. He doesn't look a lot like one in the first place, but he is. He's always been gay because he never had any sexual interest in women since he can think. Only the opposite gender doesn't seem to notice and he had to refuse a lot of times giving him a hard time to express it in words. He also feels kinda awkward when a woman shows a bit more affection towards him than the usual (he's better with friends after a while), so forgive him for behaving like a douchebag. Sadly he couldn't live out his sexuality for many years because of his family. But since he got away he was finally free to do what he wanted. He's no go-getter though. It's the contrary – he's too shy to make the first move. And that's probably why he's been single a long while as well after the relationship with V (who's the go-getter ofc).
04. Favorite color:
Ryder loves black. He knows there are people who don't accept black as a color. For that phrase he's got another answer: purple and green. Besides black, it's these colors he loves (he just won't wear anything purple nor green). Purple like amethysts he collects and (dark) green like the mysterious German forests he misses a lot.
The rest is under the cut for those who are interested in reading more about him. Beware, it really has gotten long!
05. Relationship status:
Ryder is off the single market. After I created him back in Sep 2022, I already had Vijay flirting with @nervouswizardcycle's Arki (<3), so my original idea of V and Ry together couldn't last and was made into a backstory part instead since I still like that ship that formed in my head when Ryder was only an idea. However, I couldn't imagine him with any official npc and looking for some possible other oc over here didn't bring me much further, and also with no one making a real move either (I waited for it like Ryder would do), I decided just a few weeks back that my boy shouldn't be lonely for so long. It made me sad having to look at him knowing his profile still said 'single', so I sat down and created another oc for him: So, yes! His love interest is Thyjs De Wit.
06. Ideal mate:
Ryder's ideal mate is @nervouswizardcycle's Arki. Arki turns out to be his best gay buddy. There's just ideas existing right now but I'm loving it! The two literally don't like each other at first — well it's more Ryder who has a grudge against Arki, but he will find out soon enough that the two are much alike in many things I don't wanna name now bc it could be possible spoilers for some future fanfiction. However, Arki will be a good mate for Ryder: giving tips in training for battle, trying to control his anger, but also the guy to go shopping with (bc Arki is fashionista, baby!). And the two may have many evenings where they get drunk, laughing over stupid anti-jokes (where V just shakes his head and Thyjs also doesn't find it laughable) and watching a shit ton of anime if they don't do stupid stuff in the city. They are both Scorpios and this is a certain vibe you can't turn off easily once they come together.
07. Turn-ons:
Bottom lip biting. It seriously turns Ryder on when you go from casual busses to biting down onto his bottom lip. He sees that as an invitation to get more passionated. Hard lollipops. The meaty kind. He likes a man's best piece a lot. Especially when they have a beautiful shape and tint. Loud, hard rave beats. Eespecially when it has some naughty lyrics it kind of turns him on. If the right person is with him, this may be a chance for making out on the dancefloor, vanishing into a darkroom or just go somewhere else to get dirty.
08. Favorite food:
Pistachio ice cream. In generall he loves pistachios: salted or not, in combination with chocolate, ice cream – everything pistachio – give it to him. You'll make him be a happy pistachio.
09. Crushes:
Thjys De Wit. He's going to crush on him the first time he meets that Dutch pale soldier boy — Thyjs literally zapped him. There's a lot of pining from Ryder's side. Vijay, however will notice and tries to encourage him to make the first move since Thyjs is not a go-getter either (and has to cope with his own feelings for Ry as well at first). It's gonna be interesting. Don't wanna tell too much, though.
10. Favorite music:
Ryder is a true Raver. <3 He lives for hard and dark techno beats. There's nothing better than that ever enduring repeating bass under his feat. It keeps him going, helps him to vent off his never ending anger for a while, keeps the beast within at bay, while he moves to those amazing loud eletronic beats combined with unreal but also beautiful accompaning melodies. Ryder also listens to Industrial and New (German) Wave.
11. Biggest fear:
His biggest is facing his superior again. He fears nothing more than is father: Wilhelm von Scharfenberg — now CEO of Militech HQ in Night City. There is another one: He's afraid of losing control over the beast within him completely, hurting those close to him. He doesn't know where it came from, it was there one day, accompanying him ever since. It lusts for blood mostly so the chance it takes over in a heavy fight during a job is pretty high. Once he's in a killstreak for too long, he's unable to stop and literally goes berserk. Therfore he has asked his best friend Vijay to take control and stop him if the situation gets tricky. He's got a special mod installed that allows Vijay to hack into Ryder's Berserk Operating System making him able to reset it since the beast seems to feed heavily from this system. Ryder's Mantis Blades will receive an order to retract and he gets unconscious for a short amount of time to make sure he's gonna be stopped. If that case happens and the situation is tricky, someone must be right there to protect Ryder for that time since he will be unable to defend himself. Before every job V double checks the mod and renews the codes to make sure everything works. Ryder isn't exactly proud to always leave a mess of blood puddles, organs and dead bodies behind. It scares him as well since it has gotten worser over time. It's his greatest wish that the beast within vanishes one day the same way like it showed up.
12. Biggest fantasy:
To fly to the moon. Ryder loves space and the universe since he was a small boy. He dreamed to be a space pilot one day, flying people or cargo to the moon. He would love to walk on it as well, feel the lack of gravitiy when he jumps. The moon is very fascinating to him. He's amazed by the surface, all the pattern the craters made, the grey tones. And he very much would love to see how earth looks seen from up there. If you suspected something sexual instead: To have hot, dirty, greasy sex in a tank. Specifially in a retro WWII model.
13. Bad habits:
Ryder has a obsessive-compulsive disorder. He sees himself forced to align everything neatly and symmetrically. He will do it all the time: at home, during shopping, sitting at the table in the Afterlife, aligning billard balls in the Coyjote Cojo, staple Vijay's vinyls in his apartment (he even tidies up V's apartment at times bc Vijay is a bit chaotic). His own apartment is clean and simple, every bottle in the shelf faces with the ettiket, books are placed ordely and even pillows on his bed sit how they should and so on. Besides that Ry is still super fidgety. He can't sit still. It mainly has to do with background music everywhere, so he's bobbing e.g. his leg all the time. But he also constantly needs to play around with something in his hands. He can't sit still longer than five minutes and then repositions. The only times he's not fidgety is when he's sleepy or in fact sleeping. Once he falls asleep he likely won't turn around much and stay in the position he feell asleep in.
14. Biggest regret:
The missed oportunity to run away earlier. His decicion to leave his Corpo life happend when he was already 21. If he had left earlier, he would probably live in Italy now together with Tommy Reiter, his first love, who would probably still be alive as well. Tommy wanted to go away with him, but Ryder was too scared to do it back then, still being a teen.
15. Best kept secrets:
That he's Corpo – a von Scharfenberg. As already mentioned, only Vijay knows about that. Ryder did literally everything for not looking like a Corpo anymore: changed visually completely with adding cyberware, new eyes, getting tattoos including scarifications (to cover own scars), changed his hairstlye, grew a messy beard, trained like a mad-man to gain some muscles for not having to watch the thin useless Corpo boy in the mirror he once was. Starting the life of a so called street kid. His Corpo attitude sadly comes trough at times (and can be extremely helpful for some missions as well). In some cases he sees himself on the high horse thinking he's better than anyone else (but Vijay reminds him of that).
16. Last thought:
Maybe 'Bitte ein Bit'? Idk man, but I have the feeling that Ryder's last thought ever will definitely have something to do with beer.
17. Worst romantic experience:
When he decided to try out bottoming for once in his life. It was a good experience at first but it ended with something unexpected: receiving an exceptionally good fuck that caused him to feel like a supernova seeing stars all over brought some negative connotaion with it: he entirely lost control over his body making him have his mantis blades spring out ready for action. Nobody died though, but it was Vijay who topped him and V has a huge trauma concerning blades … So once both finally relized what actually happened, Vijay got off and fell into a shock he was unable to explain to him. And Ryder ofc was shocked by the thought that he can lose control that hard by just getting railed (the beast within was just evolving and a minor problem btw). The situation could have turned out much worse that night. And this situation is also the cause for their break-up in the end, with both really feeling bad about it: Vijay because he wasn't able to tell him why and Ryder for losing control that hard in such a situation. Since then Ryder never bottomed again, because he can't allow himself to let it happen again.
18. Biggest insecurity:
Ryder has had a lot of insecurities — still has. His biggest besides him not being able to live up to his father's Corpo ideals is probably that he (still) feels he is/was not good enough for anything or anybody. This situation started early in his childhood and reached the worst high as soon as he had to start working at Militech unable to do anything right (he hated this work and it wasn't what he wanted to do), nonetheless he tried hard to make his superior satisfied, but it was quite the contrary in the end. He was treated by his family like ballast they had to carry through, got bullied by co-workers and therefore fell into a huge hole of depression. It took him a long time (and quiet a lot of Vijay's patience) to accept that he's good enough in what he does. Vijay told Ryder more than once, that he is valued, that he is thankfull for Ry's support, and that people appreciate him and that he is a good person. He still does and it is impotant to reward Ryder constantly with nice and cheering words otherwise he's prone to worry about it again. Ryder still has a lot of trust issues towards new people to this day.
19. Weapon of choice:
answered here.
20. Role Model:
Vijay of course. Ryder looks up a lot to his best friend. He wishes he could be more like him. Capable of leading, always having an answer to everything, understand the realm of netrunning, his entire positive character and warm personality, looking forward and not back, the ability to stay friendly towards literally everyone (Vijay is good in hiding his disgust for someone if he want's to, but most of the time he lets people know when he doesn't like them).
#ask meme#oc asks#thank you @breezypunk <3#hahahahaha soooo loooonng#long post#about: ryder von scharfenberg#I just can't stop talking about him ever sicne I build out his story and character sorry not sorry aaaahh#also helped me to finally started writing out more#of the next part (2070s backstory)
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Just finished Horizon Zero Dawn and AGHHHEHAHWB. Why was the HADES fight lowkey easier than I thought it would be??
I mean it was hard and I beat him when I got down to 2 minutes and some seconds left. Wasn’t my best BUT it was a lot easier than I thought. I didn’t even notice the time until it started blinking red at 10 minutes at the top lol.
And I did die once because I didn’t stop attacking it when it was attacking me like a dummy djwjsb. BUT ANYWAYS!!! IT WAS SO GOOOD!!!
I’ve started Horizon Forbidden West and IM SO EXCITED!
BUT ALSO! SYLENS?!?! WHY YOU DOING THIS??? Like I understand wanting to know how we came to be, but you’re going too far. This is all concerning especially with that creepy spider machine at the end! LIKE?!?!? I’m thrilled. I’m also going to replay the beginning of HZD, and May finish it again.
I just love seeing Rost at the beginning of Forbidden West and it’s just….so sweet to see him holding baby Aloy….and the smile (I think he smiled, it was hard to see)….I’m emotional guys-
#me playing horizon zero dawn#me playing games#ANYWAYS I LOVED IT. THIS WAS SO GREAT. I ALSO CRIED WHEN SHE FOUND ELISABET’S BODY LIKE#BRO ELISABET WANTED A DAUGHTER TO BE CURIOUS TO HELP HEAL THE WORLD AND ALOY BECAME THAT#AAAAHH#horizon zero dawn#Rost was best dad and best supportive figure for Aloy if I remember correctly like YES. HE ALSO DIDNT DESERVE HIS FATE😭😭.#but I think he’s mentioned in the new one and that’s gonna make me all emotional again guys-
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managed to wake up after mayyybe 2 hours of """sleep""" in the worst fucking coughing fit of my LIFE.... a half hour sitting at the table and 3 puffs later and im able to inhale a few minutes at a time without fully hacking up a lung jesus christ when I say my asthma is trying to kill me I sorta forgot that it very much could and does kill people all the time!!
#genuinely if i didnt have an allergist appointment in exactly 5 hours... this is the point where i would drag myself to urgent care#i need expectorant some warm broth a fresh box of tissues and a good backscratcher#perhaps a bottle brush but for my lungs??? help itch????#aaaahh
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my god i gotta make a perfworld animatic so bad. or at least a lyric comic. or something. there are SO many songs i could choose from thatd work SO WELL
#AAAAHH#the perfectworldshipping brainworms are brainworming whilst im trying to work again help#mine
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being the only person to ship something SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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