#HEAVING AND DYING AND
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im not your best friend yes you are we're close. we are a family arent we? sure we're not technically a family but we live together and have the same lawyer and it works for us, right guys? hey, dont say that, of course we know each other. you don't mean that, he doesnt mean that..
#KILLING MYSELF KILLING MYSELF KILLING MEYFISELF#im thinking too hard abt duck today and how clingy he is and how desperately he loves the other two guys and#GHHHGGGGHGHHGGHHH#THEY DONT LOVE HIM BACK THE SAME WAY THEY REALLY REALLY DONT#and god im sure he gets it but it literally never sets in stupid idiot motherfucker in his own littlr world#where they love me and we are SO close and we're such good friends and we consider each other family and they love being here with me!!#VOMITING BLOOD VOMITING BLOOD#HEAVING AND DYING AND#my dhmis postings
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"I'm happy it's only a princess and a princess here."
#pluto#pluto the series#pluto series#namtanfilm#oonmay#oon x may#namtan tipnaree#film rachanun#thai drama#gmmtv#my gifs#bypiningbisexuals#I'm literally dying over this#it's gonna be my whole personality for a while I'm OBSESSED#slightly masc namtan has me dry heaving & film looks adorable
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Koppenbergcross 2017 mathieu beautiful prey animal supercut + interview. ft. wout and separately christoph for 2 seconds
#1. the amount of time hes on the ground 2. the RELENETLESS photography 3. very beautiful prince haircut? 4. pink everywhere 5. including#unzipped jersey 6. the fact they get him in that interview chair when hes still dry heaving dying 7. all of them patting him at various#points... i would too 8. the fact of christoph's gesture that looks like an aborted touch but im rly not sure................. its fine#mvdp#AND NOT TO MENTION 9. THE WAY HE FLOPS LITERALLY A FOOT FROM THE LINE... Oh baby... truly one of theee greatest#also 10. wouts thighs. 11. matje wrists and ankles and very brief grug hand display in interview 12.i didnt even include this in the cut bu#also the way that they were next to each other at the start and seeing matje rainbow sleeves lined up w wout rainbows... ouuugu#no cross chain in this either. shall we start trying to date exactly when he took it off
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It’d be pretty fucked up if Endo had hanahaki and didn’t even hide it from Chika. Endo laughing it off after he’s choked on yet another yellow bud, leaving specks of red over it and thinking it bears such a resemblance to Chika’s hair is uncannily gorgeous
#mari says#it’d suck harder if you were in love with endo and you’re both choking on your feelings but separately#he’d never get it surgically removed and just suffers whereas reader’s probably not keen on DYING so they would get the surgury#once your feelings are gone can you even bring yourself to pity him when he’s heaving on the ground in a pool of thorns and blood? that’d b#kinda sick#yellow roses used to symbolize jealously and its be cool to see him have an attack every time he thought about chika’s feelings for ume#cw blood#ig
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P.E. funtimes
#edward nashton#riddlebat#doodles#fanart#au enseñanza media#i probably should write some about these guys huh#jon is exempt from pe because in this au his health is garbage#i gave joker a legal name lol#arthur napier bc i like the idea of him having a normalcore first name#he runs with converse shoes bc he never wears anything else and neither does bruce#ed sweats and heaves and feels like hes dying but he's actually decent at pe#the last doodle i did with like school sports events in mind#i only ever had one where i participated and it was kinda fun but mostly boring#it was wicked early and on a saturday#and we had to be in uniform even tho it was the weekend#idk why but being in uniform on a weekend feels all kinds of humilliating when youre a teen#anyways i pictured ed having to do the 3 leg race with bruce bc he's the only one who is not a head shorter that him#oh and in my head joker is stretchy but also very reckless so he breaks bones anyways#which is why i draw him with a cast on his arm#i think sometimes he'd break a leg too but i like the look of the arm cast#i imagine that bruce ed and jon look forward to drawing on his new casts everytime he comes back with a new one#and yeah the name arthur is a joker movie reference
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sorry bitching again
Super annoyed that my tolerance to oxy has completely fucked with it being able to do shit for my cramps. I am now in a hot bath with a fan on me so I don’t pass out because it’s fucking 27 degrees outside & my body doesn’t regulate temp properly anymore, thank u anorexia
#I also love that I’m so tummy sensitive that a single yogurt tube had me dry heaving#actually thank you anorexia for completely and utterly ruining my immune system and body#I use to be so brave about this stuff#but I also hadn’t ruined my digestive or tummy lining when I could be brave#I’m so nauseous half passed out from the pain & heat I could be convinced I’m dying rn#if you don’t know what it’s like to burn from the inside out on your skin I’m honestly jealous
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I'm aware that the carnival wheel game is a scam, but this was worth the 500 gold, full stop, I was on the floor crying for like ten minutes
(Also peep my Durge Tav, Sorcerer)
#there's personal context about my tav that makes this infinitely funnier#i'm being serious this had me dry heaving on the floor#also here's the proof I'm doing this way out of order#i'm at the carnival after beating cazador and fighting shadowheart's church's leader#which everyone said that fight was worse than cazador but here's a secret if you get shadowheart to rally the others behind her#you only have to fight four people#there are benefits to doing a dark aligned shadowheart#i also stole the mother superior's dress and dyed it red so that's what my tav is wearing#i'm being such a gremlin bastard in this game#fishgills speaks#fishgills plays bg3#bg3#baldur's gate 3
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#looove having dreams about my dog dying like i love that i get to relive that over and over again forever#and then i’m always like doing that can’t breathe heaving crying bc i’m so distraught and then i wake up and i’m like oh thank god that’s#over and then i’m like oh wait but that really did happen already and then i’m like 😐 for the rest of the bc ptsd and trauma etc etc forever#*rest of the day#like fr. can’t i just have nice dreams about them and then cry when i wake up bc i miss them not because i was in the torture chamber
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The Alfonse plushie has harmed me once more
#i'm dying squirtle#it is. so severe.#profound suffering unimaginable agony#weeping wailing th e agonies. the agonies. the agonies#the entire world is my enemy#and alfonse plushie specifically. is my enemy#i've been. betrayed. doubled crossed. so severely#i'm covered in blood. i'm dry heaving on yhe ground. my wounds will get infected#i will punch a thousand doors. i will trhow rocks at windows. i eill blow yhis whole building up#i will eat choclates and cry. so sadly.#defeated.#devasted.
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thought about my old house for more than two seconds and almost cried so i did the smart thing and looked at the pictures of it on rightmove to see how the new owners (they have lived there since 2015) have completely ruined it (they redecorated) to the point it's unrecognisable (got an extension) and im literally ugly sobbing about it. they let my mother's garden die
#YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THERE USED TO BE CONIFERS THERE AND I REMEMBER CLIMBING SO FAR UP THEM#AND MY GRANDAD SEEING ME THROUGH THE BRANCHES AND SMILING AT ME AND SAYING 'HELLO' SO SOFTLY#BACK WHEN HE WAS NICE AND I REMEMBER THERE'S A BACK ALLEY BEHIND ALL THE GARDENS ON THE STREET#THAT YOU CANT SEE IN THE PHOTOS AND ME AND THE TWO BOYS NEAR ME USED TO SPEND HOURS AND HOURS#RUNNING ABOUT AND GETTING DIRTY AND BREAKING INTO THE NEIGHBOURS' GARDENS AND GETTING IN TROUBLE#AND NOW ONE IS IN A MILITARY SCHOOL BECAUSE HIS PARENTS GREW SCARED OF HIM#AND THE OTHER GOT INVOLVED IN GANGS AND GOT CAUGHT WITH A KNIFE IN SCHOOL BUT I SAW HIM AT THE LOCAL A FEW MONTHS AGO#AND HE'S STILL ONE OF THE SOFTEST BOYS IVE EVER MET AND HE SMILED AND SAID HE WAS GLAD I WAS DOING WELL#AND I REMEMBER RUNNING UP THE STAIRS WHEN MY MUM WAS ANGRY AND I REMEMBER RUNNING DOWN THE DRIVE#WHEN MY DAD CAME HOME AND I REMEMBER MY OLD DOG AND HOW MY MUM EXPLAINED THE NAMES BEHIND EVERY ROSE#I REMEMBER BEING SCARED OF THE CELLAR AND I REMEMBER LEARNING TO PLAIT MY OWN HAIR ON THE STAIRS#BECAUSE MY SISTER REFUSED TO TEACH ME AND I REMEMBER HOW COLD THE ATTIC WAS#I REMEMBER SLEEPING IN MY MUM'S BED AND I REMEMBER THE CAT DYING#I REMEMBER CLOSING MY EYES SO TIGHTLY BECAUSE I THOUGHT ID SEE SANTA AND THAT MEANT HE WOULDNT COME#I REMEMBER CRYING IN THE BATHROOM WHEN MY SISTER TOLD ME THE EASTER BUNNY WASNT REAL#I REMEMBER MY MUM BRUSHING MY HAIR IN THE KITCHEN BEFORE SCHOOL AND I REMEMBER HOW WE PAINTED THE WALLS#THAT'S MY HOUSE IT'S BUILT FROM ME AND NOW I CANT EVEN RECOGNISE IT#THAT WAS THE LAST PLACE I WAS TRULY HAPPY NOTHING BAD HAD EVER HAPPENED TO ME#AND NOW IT'S FOREIGN TO ME#im about to start dry-heaving this is evil and sick and twisted childhood homes come with their own ache i think#hella goes home#<- not quite but v much fits that tag
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IM UNWELL
ok so currently watching episode 15 and going through so many fucking emotions right now oh my god. i am going to send the entirety of this speech because this interaction is so good. no i totally didnt actually shed tears over a d&d show wdym nah totally not
Gillion: “They told me humans were greedy... self-indulgent... destructive creatures. Who live their lives recklessly at the expense of others.“ Chip: “...Yeah sounds about right“ Gillion: “But when I came here... I chose not to listen. When I boarded your vessel, when I was invited by you and Jay... You took me aboard, and I felt as if I could trust you. But sometimes one but admit their hubris. When you told me, in that moment... that a steel ball could’ve smashed down and swiftly ended both fo our lives, what you did. At first I did not understand...“ Chip: “Hang on, hang on, back up- What did I say? Just refresh, quick refresh.“ Gillion: “Chip... You told me, for once... the truth.” Chip: “...Ohhh“ Gillion: “And though something like this may easily slip your mind, I know not... you admitted your deceptions for one second and I began to think about the possibility that there have been others... and though I do not know, though I may not ever know, what they were... I know that the elders spoke the truth and what YOU did.. was reckless and self-indulgent at the expense of my honor and my pride.” Chip: “Gill it wasn’t- It was never-“ Gillion: “And for what?“ Chip: “I-I mean I never would’ve hurt y-“ Gillion: “What did you gain? What do you gain when you ask someone like Julien to lead first into the abyss?“ Chip: “Well that was different! I was lying at that point, it was just- I mean if anything that was to protect you! Look I’m-“ Gillion: “You, as far as I have seen, I have never seen you in a position you have put yourself in to protect anyone... but I have seen you put yourself in front of others, not to protect... But to use even for something as small as your own enjoyment. And I am telling you this, not to hurt you... but to let you know that you have damaged my honor and my pride, and I need it restored Chip...”
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living up to my blog title today gang!
#i have an upper respiratory infection that is causing me to pass out + vomit and dry heave from coughing + causing me to randomly get fevers#i think i am dying#ihave never felt this sick in my fucking life holy shit
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#tmi#but ohgjh yeah if course I feel like dogshit it's not just the pms#it's THAT time of year back when I was slowly dying#I was cleaning the apartment today and got a whiff of a scent that violently sent me three years back#then I spent the next five minutes gagging and heaving trying not to throw up#as if that isn't enough it's gonna be the first anniversary of grandma's death this saturday#I still feel like throwing up. I feel sick.
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soo many fics where daud starts apologizing for folding billie into his gang of assassins when she was 12ish.......girl in what world !!!!!!
#he thinks he did right by her but missed showing her the value of regret. btw. and then he meets her after all those years#and sees said regret and heaves a sigh of pained relief. dont kid yrself#even in canon where hes dying. DYING. and sees his wanted poster up on her wall hes like billieeee. youre not sentimental now?!! are you???#dishonored#working for the knife
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most of the schools i went to were catholic to its rlly surprising that i never had any type of religion class. it didnt actually affect anything other than us being made to stand in line and pray before class (and also sing the national anthem) but like you could just, Not do that and be chill
#i did go to catechism classes as a kid but that only lasted for a few months#i was 9 i think or 10#kinda diff subject but i have a lot of memories of being 10-11 and figuring out religion#a lot of my memories for that time period are Gone I Am Memory Issues Man but not those for some reason#babies first independent thought <3#i remember first doubting what i knew about god when i was like 7? but i shelved that until 5th/6th grade#as ive repeatedly brought up in this blog my sister died when i was in 5th grade which caused my parents to double down on the catholicism#at the same time i had found Atheist Progressive Facebook Pages and doubting everything#they made a routine of every day before bed reading me a passage from the bible and i had to sit there like yas queen so true#but me and this friend from school were heaving deep philosophical talks about religion dailyyyyyyyy#she reached the conclusion of god not being real a bit before me and i remember mentioning to my parents how i dont think thatd mean she#was gonna go to hell in one of the Nightly Bible Sessions#before i reached that conclusion i actually adopted the line of thinking thay god Was real#he just sucked ass and was a terrible being. and also fuck christianity#tho a few months later i went full atheist#one time me and that friend were on a fucking amusement park ride discusding religion. thats still funny to me#also a while later my mom started dipping her toe in other religions mostly as she tried to figure out how to deal w my sister dying#she got into spiritism and took me to like a. idk. lecture???? sermon??? i did not care so i daydreamed lesbian ever after highxmonster high#fanfiction during it. 👍#my dad also gave me a very long talk about how my mom was being tempted by the devil at that time which like. ok#also at age 11 the last time i went to church happened. it was on the 1 year anniversary of my grandpa dying (which also happened in 5th#grade) and his name was gonna be mentioned. i was already atheist then and i felt Very out of place. also intried convincing my younger#cousin the tooth fairy was real doing it#oh and i can never forget how i posted on facebook telling my extended family that i was an atheist and then my aunt held a prayer session#at her house while me n the other kids were playing and Loudly talked about how parents who let their children be atheists are doing the#devils work or whatever. or the family friend that told my mom the reason my sister died was bc my mom didnt go to church regularly#my mom didn't go to church regularly bc my sister was dying and she was busy trying to prevent that. lmao.#my sister dying actually had nothing to do w me questioning religion but literally everyone seemed to think so at the time. theyd be like#i know you might be angry at god because of your sister.... and i was like? no bitch theres just no scientific proof that guy exists what#oh there are so many typos and mistakes in these tags im not editing that. good luck
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shoutout to the not one not two but three bus drivers this afternoon who watched me full on run after them. and then get on without paying.
#so heres how i happened#i left work early for a dr appointment. my bus was five min late but whatever#it finally comes and then fucken drives right past me#I curse and this random lady is like what is wrong w that driver! but u cld probably catch it#so i run but it turns a corner. tragic.#the next bus for that route wld make me late for appt#i will never take an uber but i also dont wannabe late#so i check and see i can take a different bus. its stop is 7 min walk away but the bus is coming in a min#buses are usually late i think. so in my work clothes and backpack i fucking sprint#i am so out of shape. this is not an elegant sprint.#i see the bus at the corner but im too far away and my body hurts. theres no way#but i have a sudden burst of confidence and run across the street into the bus#i do not pay bc i forget in the moment and also i kinda always get on buses without paying oops#i am dying. my chest is heaving. the doctor probably thought i wasin death throes when i got there#anyway on my way back the bus stops at a different corner than im standing so i gotta run again.#and i forget to pay again#anyway my chest still hurts soooo thats definitely not normal👍🏻
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