#HE TURNS INTO A DINOSAUR my god

[thresholdbb]

I can draw a straight line from "Dinosaurs, Dinosaurs, Dinosaurs" to "Threshold"

In this essay, I will...

[smokbeast]

poe thoughts and scribbles for my aching soul

[torchickentacos]

If your average MTG game does not include a twenty minute intermission where your (step)father and sister pull out google and debate a really weird technicality, then you're probably playing it wrong

[milf-harrington]

*staring at the ceiling* i was a weird kid

[lord-radish]

Whenever I'm upset about something and I have to like rant about it to myself to come to terms with how it makes me feel, I have a go-to sentence I use to really hone in on it. Like if something is so irritating or nonsensical or generally anger-inducing that I just have to get it out.

Like I have a coworker who's always talking about what would make the laundry better, talking about these multi-million dollar renovations and things that are *never going to happen* and entirely fail to fix the immediate surface-level issues we're experiencing right now, in the moment, that I'm usually trying to fix while he's talking to me. It really does come off as him going "oh you know what would be so much better for efficiency? if cars ran on rainbows and grass clippings and the tears of happy kittens :)" - he means well, but it fixes NOTHING, it's wishful thinking at BEST

And I swear to god, at least once a week - at LEAST

I have to conjure up the mental fortitude to bite my tongue and keep it to myself

but mentally? I'm winding it up like a punch, before I let out the loudest, angriest call of:

"Coworker, what in the everLOVING NAME OF FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?!?!?!?!?!??????!!!!??"

[weaselle]

i want to talk about real life villains

Not someone who mugs you, or kills someone while driving drunk, those are just criminals. I mean VILLAINS.

Not like trump or musk, who are... cartoonishly evil. And not sexy villains, not grandiose villains, not even satisfyingly two dimensional villains it is easy to hate unconditionally. The real villains.

I had a client who was a retired executive for one of the big oil companies, i think it was Shell or Chevron. Had a home just outside of San Francisco that was wall to wall floor to ceiling full of expensive art. Literally. I once accidentally knocked a painting off the wall because it was hanging at knee height at the corner of the stairs, and it had a little brass plaque on it, and i looked up the name of the artist and it was Monet's apprentice and son-in-law, who was apparently also a famous painter. He had an original Andy Warhol, which should have been a prize piece for anyone to showcase -- it was hanging in the bathroom. I swear to god this guy was using a Chihuly (famous glass sculptor) as a fruit bowl. And he was like, "idk my wife was the one who liked art"

I was intrigued by this guy, because in the circles i run this dude is The Enemy. right? Wealthy oil executive? But as my client, he was... like a sweet grandpa. A poor widower, a nice old man, anyone who knew him would have called him a sweetheart. He had a slightly bewildered air, a sort of gentle bumbling nature.

And the fact that he was both of these things, a Sweet Little Old Man and The Enemy, at the same time, seemed important and fascinating to me.

He reminded me of some antagonist from fiction, but i couldn't put my finger on who. And when i did it all made sense.

John Hammond.

probably one of the most realistic bad guys ever written.

If you've only ever seen the movie, this will need some explaining.

Michael Crichton wrote Jurassic Park in 1990, and i read it shortly thereafter. In the movie, the dinosaurs are the antagonists, which imo erases 50% of the point of the story.

book spoilers below.

In the book, John Hammond is the villain but it takes the reader like half the book to figure that out. Just like my client, John is a sweet old man who wants lovely things for people. He's a very sympathetic character. But as the book progresses, you start to see something about him.

He has an idea, and he's sure it's a good one. When someone else dies in pursuit of his dream, he doesn't think anything of it. When other people turn out to care about that, he brings in experts to evaluate the safety of his idea, and when they quickly tell him his idea is dangerous and needs to be put on hold, he ignores his own experts that he himself hired, because they are telling him that he is wrong, and he is sure he is right.

In his mind, he's a visionary, and nobody understands his vision. He is surrounded by naysayers. Several things have proven too difficult to do the best and safest way, so he has cut corners and taken shortcuts so he can keep moving forward with his plans, but he's sure it's fine. He refuses to hear any word of caution, because he believes he is being cautious enough, and he knows best, even though he has no background in any of the sciences or professions involved. He sends his own grandchildren out into a life-threatening situation because he is willfully ignorant of the danger he is creating.

THIS is like the real villains of the world. He doesn't want anyone to die. Far from it, he only wants good things for people! He's a sweet old man who loves his grandchildren. But he has money and power and refuses to hear that what he is doing is dangerous for everyone, even his own family.

I think he's possibly one of the most important villains ever written in popular fiction.

In the book, he is killed by a pack of the smallest, cutest, "least dangerous" dinosaurs, because a big part of why we read fiction is to see the villains face thematic justice. But like a cigarette CEO dying of lung cancer, his death does not stop his creation from spreading out into the world to continue to endanger everyone else.

I think it is really important to see and understand this kind of villainy in fiction, so you can recognize it in real life.

Sweetheart of a grandfather. Wanted the best for everyone. Right up until what was best for everyone inconvenienced the pursuit of his own interests.

And my client was like that too. His wife had died, and his dog was now the love of his life, and she was this little old dog with silky hair in a hair cut that left long wispy bits on her lower legs. Certain plant materials were easily entangled in this hair and impossible to get out without pulling her hair which clearly hurt her. When i suggested he ask his groomer to trim her lower leg hair short to avoid this, he refused, saying he really liked her usual hair cut.

I emphasized that she was in pain after every walk due to the plant debris getting caught in her leg hair, and a simple trim could put an end to her daily painful removal of it, and he just frowned like i'd recommended he take a bath in pig shit and said "But she'll be ugly" and refused to talk about it anymore.

Sweet old man though. Everyone loved him.

[taasgirl]

i like me better - franco colapinto

summary: franco and driver!reader seem to be getting closer, through their shared social media interaction. once y/n gets her first fp1 drive, everything falls into place.

a/n: everything is fictional, and there is no face claim! enjoy :)

liked by landonorris, alex_albon, and 563, 982 others ynusername trading four wheels for two this weekend 😉

mercedesamgf1 Please get off the bike y/n

lilymhe IS THAT A BABY Y/N PIC I SEE

ynusername hehe maybe

landonorris I know toto died seeing you post this liked by ynusername

motogp Fancy a weekend with us?

ynusername OH MY GOD I THOUGH YOU'D NEVER ASK team_toto_wolff No Y/n.

lewishamilton 🩷

ynusername hey dad!

liked by francolapinto, oscarpiastri, and 3, 872, 440 others landonorris Summer break you will be missed

danielricciardo Mate you're so ugly

landonorris Smd old man

mclaren Pls tell us that you didn't actually go dirt biking

landonorris Don't worry I was with y/n mclaren That makes it worse

ynusername I'm on a mission to take the whole grid on a dirt biking adventure, who's next bitchessss

francolapinto Me me me I volunteer landonorris Someone's eager 😏

view ynusername's story...

caption: track limits at turn 7 stewards go get their asses

liked by francolapinto, lewishamilton, and 711, 923 others ynusername excited to take lewis' car out for a spin in fp1 #justiceforreservedrivers

lewishamilton Don't pull a Kimi

kimi.antonelli What the hell Lewis

landonorris awww baby y/n

landonorris Still hasn't achieved her goals of racing in f1 hehe ynusername just for that i'm running u off track tomorrow xx

francolapinto Congratulations Y/N! I'm excited to see you out there

ynusername thanks franco!!

patriciooward I agree #justiceforreservedrivers liked by ynusername

liked by ynusername, lewishamilton, and 5, 720, 816 others mercedesamgf1 Celebratory hugs between Y/N and Lewis following Y/N's superb FP1 drive!

tagged: ynusername & lewishamilton

ynusername Maybe like I can replace the dinosaur or something aha...

francolapinto My favourite driver as a child and my favourite driver as an adult together 🤗

ynusername wow thank you franco! landonorris Boy you are NOT slick

lewishamilton The 🐐

lewishamilton And Y/n.

liked by lewishamilton, landonorris, and 142, 674 others ynusername some funny photos from a very fun weekend

francolapinto Come on you post my teammate but not me?

ynusername maybe you should visit me often then 🤷‍♀️

georgerussell63 Is that Toto...

ynusername affirmative

landonorris Trust in y/n to expose the grid hmmm

alex_albon Wow @/georgerussell63 looking sexy

lilymhe Stop hitting on GEORGE

lewishamilton ⭐ liked by ynusername

francolapinto Penalty for eating ice cream during race week

ynusername booooo someone throw tomatoes on him

user53 DOUBLE FRANCO COMMENTS

liked by alex_albon, ynusername, and 1, 448, 925 others francolapinto Good weekend 😁

tagged: williamsracing & alex_albon

alex_albon Mate does not live up to the hype sorry Franco

ynusername what the actual hell are you doing to that car in the second photo

francolapinto I can show you later if you'd like This comment was deleted

ynusername also you expect me to post you but you don't even post me smh

francolapinto You go first then

landonorris holy shit I saw that comment franco

williamsracing We're pretending that we didn't!

view ynusername's story...

caption: fine I'll go first @/francolapinto

view francolapinto's story...

caption: She clearly doesn't like paparazzi

liked by oscarpiastri, paularon, and 2, 630, 727 others francolapinto I might fall off but at least a pretty girl can give me CPR

tagged: ynusername

landonoriss FUCKING FINALY

lewishamilton I'm keeping my eye on you Franco

francolapinto 😅

ynusername awww you think I'm pretty?

francolapinto I'm happy to repeat myself francolapinto You are the prettiest girl I've ever met

williamsracing Please do not fall off

view ynusername's story...

caption: how is he a formula one driver and still so uncoordinated

how did we like this guys? ALSO why the hell are there no new photos of franco on pinterest like damn. Let me know if you like this and as always reqs are open!

[ddejavvu]

Hi Mei!! ♡ How about Reid dating a sunshine!reader who tells obviously wrong facts when he is in earsight, just to mess with him? Bc I think it would be so funny 😭😭 Anyway, have a nice day, and thank you so much for all your quality content, you're saving lives <333

"Oh my god Emily, you're never gonna believe this," You lean in towards the brunette grinning at you, but your voice stays loud enough for Spencer to hear across the desk, "I just found out that bowling is more dangerous than dinosaurs are."

Her brow dips but her lips quirk up, "Alright, you've hooked me. What's the punchline?"

"No punchline," You shake your head, feeling Reid's curious stare on the back of it, "In 2019 someone died at a bowling alley after slipping on the floor and splitting his head open. But in that same year, there wasn't a single death by dinosaur. Isn't that insane?"

Spencer is already piping up before Emily can properly laugh, but you can still hear her beneath his frantic, "Uh, honey, that's not- that's not exactly right. I mean, dinosaurs would be incredibly dangerous, if any of them were still alive. Which, in 2019- uh, they were not."

"Statistically speaking, Spence," You use his favorite phrase against him, but you're not sure he picks up on the teasing grin set on your face beyond the concern he's stewing in, "You can't argue with the numbers."

"Well- you can't, but in 2019, the number of dinosaurs alive was zero, so that's- that's the only number that really matters, baby, but if you wanted to read more about the risks associated with communal sports venues, I'd be happy to share some articles I've looked into on-"

"Ah, leave it to Reid to turn a sick-ass discussion about dinosaurs about the dangers of fun," Morgan scoffs. He wasn't in on your plan from the beginning, but he's happy to jump on the bandwagon, "Besides, the last Jurassic Park movie was made in 2022, so there were dinosaurs alive, duh."

[kingdomvel]

Steddie | 2.3k | first part

“Okay, what was that?” Gareth asks the moment they are inside the room they are using as a dressing room for tonight.

“What was what,” Eddie answers.

“You know damn well what I mean.”

Eddie doesn’t answer, putting his best poker face on.

“That weird mating ritual you have been performing with the boy in the front row the whole night, maybe?” Jeff adds.

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” Eddie says, his voice flat as he tries to avoid the other’s gazes. He takes a towel to dab at his forehead.

“Come on, man,” Freak butts in, “you told him to stay after the concert, you have told Chrissy to get them here. We said we were not going to be that kind of band, that we were going to be like My Chemical Romance: no groupies and after concert dnd sessions.”

“Yeah, if you go with that guy what happens to our dnd session.”

“We can play dnd any other day, okay?” Eddie snaps, his hands stretched in front of him. A part of him thinks he looks like that meme of Chris Pratt in front of the dinosaurs, the other part of him detests that he thought of him. “I will make it up to you.”

“Who are you and what have you done to our DM?” Freak asks, his voice serious.

“Yeah, what is this talk about postponing dnd for some boy?” Gareth adds, there is something in his tone Eddie doesn’t like.

“Some boy? Some boy? Am I the only one with eyes in this fucking band? He is the hottest person that has laid eyes on me and I’m not letting you fuckers take that opportunity from me for one session of dnd or I swear to God I am killing every one of your characters.”

The boys don’t answer, they look at him with wide eyes and raised eyebrows.

“Wow” a voice says from behind Eddie.

He doesn’t recognize the voice but the expressions on the rest of the band in front of him make him freeze. They go from slightly annoyed to wary and to bemused. Mainly a mix of all at the same time.

The sounds of steps approaching them break the silence that had fallen in the room, before a voice finishes breaking it.

“How does dnd work with you nerds anyway, are you all bards or what?”

The boys drop their mouths open. Eddie still doesn’t recognize the voice, but there is only one person it can belong to. He sounds just as good as he had imagined. Eddie is honestly afraid of turning around after what the boy- Steve- has surely heard.

“Don’t pay attention to him,” a woman’s voice says. There’s the sound of a hit and a quiet ‘ow’ from Steve under it. “He is just trying to sound all confident after whining-“

“Robin.”

“Telling me to not get my hopes up because he probably wasn’t anyone important and you just did this every concert-“

“Robin.”

“But of course he is the luckiest bitch in this planet and has his instant crush reciprocated and-“

“Enough!”

There are some muffled noises that Eddie can only guess are the girl trying to continue speaking. He wishes she wouldn’t stop. His knight in shining armour may be embarrassed, but the rant has put a smile on Eddie’s face, has given him confidence again. He crosses his legs and turns around slowly, his hands coming up beside him.

“By all means, let her continue.”

The adonis, the hottest man that has laid eyes on him, his knight in shining armour, Steve takes his hand away from the girl’s mouth and rubs it on his jeans. Eddie can only guess the girl has licked it. God he wants to be her so bad right now.

“Hey,” Steve says, his hand coming up for a small wave. “Sorry about Robin.”

“No need for that. I’m Eddie.”

“I know,” Steve answers with a cocky smile as he crosses his arms.

“Oh and now you are acting all full of yourself as if you didn’t ask for the name of the band like 20 times 2 hours ago.” Robin says.

“Will you please just shut the fuck up?” Steve asks with the confidence only a best friend can have.  

“Not a fan then?” Eddie asks amused.

“Not really my scene,” Steve answers. There is a scoff behind Eddie, and if he wasn’t so lost in Steve’s brown eyes, he may have moved to swat whoever it was. “But I sure am a fan now.”

There is now a groan behind Eddie, but he can only focus on the way his heart jumps at the words, the way Steve’s mouth lifts in one side in a smirk, how his eyes spark.  

“I can get you front row tickets to all the gigs, baby.”

There’s a gagging noise being Eddie, and this time he does turn around to swat at Gareth. The little shit just laughs at him.

When he turns back towards Steve he is looking between them with a smile on his lips and he looks- damn- he’s been looking beautiful since he saw him at the beginning of the concert that night, but now his hair is a mess from the almost two hours of sweating and moving around and Eddie’s on stage confidence is slowly being replaced by his fast beating heart.

“Look man I-“ Steve starts, “I don’t want to be a problem,” he adds, glancing behind Eddie as he bites his lip. The girl next to him- Robin- turns to him with an incredulous look on her eyes that Eddie is sure mirrors his own. “But you are hot, I want to take you on a date, and the others wanted to meet you.”

Robin rolls her eyes and looks at Eddie with an eyebrow up.

“The others?” Eddie manages to say, just before he remembers the teenagers around Steve all night.

“Yeah, they are with Chrissy, I asked them to give us five minutes before coming.”

Eddie is about to say something, maybe ask about the date Steve mentioned, but in a second the door is filled with said teenagers, the one with the curly hair in the middle of it.

“YOU GUYS ARE LEGENDS!” he exclaims. It makes Eddie less annoyed about being interrupted. No one has really called them legends before, they have just surpassed 150k listeners in Spotify.

It feels good hearing it.

The dressing room fills with chatter fast, the boys and the teenagers getting along without problem. They take photos, talk about music, about their instruments, about their dnd tradition. The bad part of it all is that Eddie gets separated from Steve. He catches his eye at some point and Steve sends a little wave his way that he answers. He is talking with Robin and Chrissy and, by what Eddie can hear, Chrissy is getting every video Robin has managed to get of Eddie’s and Steve’s interactions through the concert, even a closer video of the kiss than the one Chrissy managed to get. From what he can hear, she wants to post everything on their social media before ‘someone else does and steals the chance at going viral from them’.

Eddie doesn’t know how he feels about posting Steve like that, Eddie should have probably thought, about that before making out with the guy in front of all their audience. But he seems completely comfortable with all of it. Eddie guesses that comes with being as hot as Steve is and knowing it.

It’s some time later, enough that Eddie knows they won’t be able to stay much longer in the venue, that he finally has a chance to slip away. It’s perfect, he has just seen Steve leave the dressing room, probably in search of the toilet, and Gareth and the curly hair boy he has learned is called Dustin are so deep in conversation they don’t notice him stepping away from them and leaving too.

He catches Steve just as he is leaving the toilet. Eddie doesn’t stop to answer Steve’s surprised ‘oh, hey’ that turns into a more surprised ‘woah’ as Eddie pushes him back into the toilet and closes the door behind him.

“Hey” Eddie finally greets. Steve only looks at the closed door behind Eddie and then at him again with what Eddie hopes is amusement. God, he really hopes it’s amusement, he is just not realising how creepy this looks. “So, about that date.”

“Couldn’t wait until I came back?”

“No. I mean, yes.” Why is it so difficult to talk with a pretty boy? Eddie takes a deep breath, composes himself. Theatrics, he is good with those, they make him confident. “I was suffering, being deprived from your company by your companions, and didn’t have another option.”

Steve squints his eyes, “so you decided to have the date in the toilet?”

“What? No.”

Steve takes a step closer to Eddie so now their chests are almost touching. It hadn’t downed on Eddie before how they are almost the same height. It feels very important now when he has Steve’s face right in front of him, when he can look directly at his eyes, at how they drift down to Eddie’s lips. When his inevitably drift to Steve’s lips, the boy is biting his lower lip. “Eager.”

Eddie’s breath hitches in his throat, he may have miscalculated this. There’s something he wanted to say. “No, I-“

Steve chuckles, takes a step back. “Relax dude. I know you haven’t really agreed to the date yet, we got interrupted and all that.” Eddie is about to speak, to agree a thousand times to the date, but Steve keeps talking. “You just offered to buy me a couple of drinks and called me hot,” he smiles when he says that.

“I want the date.” Eddie says before Steve can keep talking, “as soon as possible.”

Steve steps back closer. “Eager.”

“We are leaving on tour, won’t be back for three months.” Eddie explains before all his brain functions completely shut down.

“I can wait three months.”

“I can’t.”

The next second Steve’s lips are on his, his hands are on his hair, and it only takes a second for Eddie’s to do the same. Steve is even a better kisser than he was in front of the audience. Steve pushes him against the door, brings a hand to his hip, pushes one of his legs between Eddie’s. Eddie just groans and lets himself be pushed and moved. Kissed. “Fuck,” he whispers when Steve pulls away for breath. Steve smiles, takes one of Eddie’s hands in his, and kisses him again. It’s so sweet and filthy at the same time Eddie might cry, but he just moves his hips forward, and Steve answers in kind, grinding against him and getting a groan out of both of them. Maybe the rockstars that hook up with people after concerts are onto something. Though Eddie doubts he would want to do this with someone that is not Steve.

A knock on the door startles them both, Robin’s voice coming from the other side.

“Steve?” Steve and Eddie stop kissing to look at each other in silence, their eyes wide. “Chrissy said we need to leave already and you’ve been in there so long I started to worry you were kidnapped. Wait, you are in there, right? Also, have you seen Eddie? He disappeared.” Steve moves, an innocent thing that has his groin brushing against Eddie’s. And he is only a man. He moans. “WAIT! Are you both in there? GROSS.”

Steve snorts, making Eddie smile. They can hear a couple of steps moving away from the door before they come back and there is a bang on the door.

“Steve! Come out you dingus, have you forgotten about your pack of kids?”

Steve lets out a whispered ‘fuck’ before he looks at Eddie with an apology in his eyes. Eddie lets himself be moved away from the door so Steve can open it to talk to his friend outside.

“Hey.”

Eddie opens the door more so he can also fit in the gap, Steve sends him a look, smiles at his appearance, and then looks at Robin again.

“Hey” Eddie greets too. Robin is looking at them and there is no hiding what they have been doing. She can surely see their bruised lips, their wild hair. Eddie just prays she doesn’t look down and sees the bulge in his pants.

“You two are gross, was making me see that once tonight not enough?”

“You have not really seen it this time,” Steve points.

“Still.”

“You are the one that came to interrupt.”

“And for a good reason! Your kids.”

“What about the kids,” Eddie asks.

“He promised to take them home.” Robin says.

“I promised to take them home.” Steve says at the same time, a resigned tone in his voice. He turns to Eddie, his brown eyes sad, and pinches his nose.

“Can’t she take them home?” Eddie points to Robin, and they both turn towards her again.

Robin takes a breath, stops, looks at them, looks at them, sees the tent in Eddie’s pants. Grimaces.

“FINE,” she agrees, and Eddie grins. “But you owe me. Big time.” She adds pointing at Steve.

“I’ll give you ice cream for life.” Steve says. It must be an inside joke because it makes Robin roll her eyes.

“Give me your car keys at least. Rockstar here can drive you home, can’t he?”

“I’ll have him home before eleven.” Eddie swears with a hand on his chest. The other two stare at him in silence. “A.m.” he adds.

“You heard him.” Steve says while handing Robin his keys.

“Okay,” Robin answers. She takes a step back. “Have fun.” She takes a couple of steps away before she turns around. “Use protection, he is a rockstar, we don’t know where his thing has been.”

“Hey,” Eddie protests, but Robin is already running away.

“She is kinda right.” Steve says with a shrug. Eddie purses his lips. “But I have an idea on where it can be in the near future.”

“Lead the way.”

Steve slips his hand into Eddie’s.

[hannieehaee]

Hehe hi luna! 🥺🫶 may i request birthday sex w chan except its his fake childrens day birthday and he finds it hilarious that you're taking it so seriously when actually you just want an excuse to spoil him for (another) day? 💕💕

18+ / mdi

content: birthday!chan, established relationship implied, lots of banter, (it's not actually his birthday!!) afab reader, smut, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, etc.

wc: 1538

a/n: im convinced this would actually happen in real life lol

masterlist

"god, you too?", chan laughed incredulously as soon as he stepped foot into your shared apartment, surprised at the sight but not really.

he should've known that the joke would make its way to you eventually.

"what? can't celebrate my boyfriend's birthday?", you pouted mockingly as you held out the small birthday cake out to him.

behind you stood a few birthday decorations you'd bought behind chan's back a few days back – dinosaur themed, of course.

looking at all the decorations clearly marketed towards children, chan chuckled again, walking up to you and staring you down as he attempted not to smile. unfortunately, the situation was too ridiculous for him to put his acting skills to use.

"you're the bane of my existence," he said once he was in front of you as you lifted up the cake in a silent gesture for him to blow out the singular candle.

"make a wish?", you ignored him.

sighing, he leaned down to follow your instruction, closing his eyes and taking a second to hum as he thought of a wish. blowing out the candle, he then straightened his back and gave you a forced smile (which barely hid the very real smile on his lips).

"happy?"

"very," you grinned, "what was your wish?", you asked as you put the cake down on the table nearby, now heading to wrap your arms around his shoulders.

instinctively, his hands glued themselves around your waist, pulling you in close, "for my girlfriend to stop bullying me."

"dude, that was a trick question! you're not supposed to tell me. everyone knows that. now your wish won't come true!", you gaped at him, mocking him with every word.

groaning, he buried his face in your neck, defiantly giving the empty skin of your shoulder a tiny bite.

you yelped, complaining at the sudden attack, "ah! i prepare you a birthday party and this is how you repay me?"

"what good do i get out of your mockery, baby?"

nudging him away from your shoulder, you gave him a suggestive look, "well, you know what comes with every birthday, right?"

"hmm", he pondered, "what might that be?"

you leaned up close, lips by his ear, "birthday sex?"

"oh ...", he breathed out, hands tightening on your waist, "is that so?"

with a bite to your lip, you nodded, separating yourself from him and walking yourself back to your bedroom, eyes glued to his own, "wanna come unwrap your present?", you asked before turning around and charging into the room.

nodding, he followed after you, catching up to you as he held you in his arms, practically tackling you. the act was followed by a heavy kiss as his hands wrapped around you once more, feeling you up through your clothes. your hands were equally needy as they ran through his hair, softly pulling in the way you knew he liked.

"you bully me a lot for someone who wants me this badly," he bantered into your lips.

"'bully'? is that how you thank your girlfriend for caring about your birthday?", you just were not letting go of the joke.

despite how silly the whole situation was, chan couldn't find it in himself to feel any type of real frustration. your dedication made him too fond (and surprisingly, a little horny), causing him to simply chuckle against your lips while his hands attempted to rid you of your clothes.

your newfound almost-nudity proved to be a bigger challenge than dealing with your teasing, as you now stood in front of chan with one of the prettiest sets of lingerie he'd ever seen.

"like your gift, baby?" you grinned at him, disconnecting from him and walking yourself back to the bed, sitting down as you presented your body to him.

any thoughts of a stupid birthday joke left his mind as he zeroed in on your body, breath now heavy at the sight.

"yeah," he went along with it, "best birthday gift ever," his words did not meet his eyes, as they showed lust that could not be portrayed through speech.

he threw off his clothing as he made his way to you, stumbling as he removed his shoes but determined nonetheless. finally reaching you, he pushed you back on the bed, crawling over you as his hands got their fill of your body.

"do i get to fuck you, baby? or are you gonna do it since it's my day?", he murmured into your neck, drinking in any pretty sigh you let out at his kisses.

"the birthday boy gets to decide," you breathed when his lips made their way to your tits, suckling at your nipples through the thin bralette you were wearing.

"mind if i rip my present, pretty?" his hands were itching to get you as naked as he was.

"you didn't like it?", you pouted mockingly, knowing that was absolutely not the case.

"i'll fuck you with it on, i don't care," he was serious too.

opting to hastily remove it instead, he went to reach for a condom from the bedside table, only to be halted by you.

"doesn't the birthday boy want to fuck me raw?", you looked up at him expectantly.

huh?

"baby?", he gulped.

"happy birthday?", you smiled at him, pulling him down for another kiss.

he practically growled against your lips, "happy birthday to me," he sighed before beginning to sloppily align himself to your cunt, refusing to disconnect your lips.

a groan vibrated into your open mouth when he finally entered you, breathing out praise as you sucked at his tongue.

he grew desperate quite quickly, falling in love with the feeling of your bare cunt within seconds. chan was sure this was the most unfiltered pleasure he had ever felt. your walls were too warm for him to process, making him entirely too lightheaded to even comprehend how good he was feeling.

the thought of your first time giving it to him raw being part of a lamely orchestrated joke crossed his mind for a mere second, but it didnt distract him from pounding into you with every ounce of desire imbedded in his body. he couldnt comprehend how good you were to him – how pretty and funny and perfect and just tailored to him you were.

making up an entire ruse of his fake birthday just to mess with him, luring him back into your room and then presenting your bare cunt to him ... yeah, he needed to marry you asap.

rocking his hips into your own, his hands held onto the back of your thighs for dear life, holding them up to get the optimal angle that allowed him to hit that spongy spot inside of you that he knew drove you crazy. the pretty whines of his name were just another reason as to why chan felt the sudden need to head to the nearest jewelry store and ransack them of the largest ring they had to offer.

"feel so fucking good ... fuck, i- pretty cunt keeps sucking me in," he moaned out into your lips.

the kiss wasn't even a kiss anymore. it was a disgusting mess of tongues sucking at each other while teeth clanked every once in a while. but it was a nastiness that chan lived for.

"channie ... fuck, need you to cum. need my pretty birthday boy to cum," you murmured as he sucked at your tongue, making it all the harder for you to let out a single sentence.

you knew his body too well. it was far too easy for you to spot his orgasm coming. luckily for him, he knew you even better, aware that yours was likely around the corner.

not wanting to risk cumming before you (which was very likely considering the gorgeous cunt warming up his cock at the moment), his hand slipped between you to flick at your clit, swallowing every pretty moan breathed out against his lips.

"where? where can i cum, pretty? hmm? need- need you to tell me where," he knew he was being obvious about his unspoken desire to cum in you, but he wanted a full-pledged confirmation that you wanted him to finish inside you – that and also a depraved need to hear you beg to be filled up.

"inside, channie ... you know- you know i want it inside. need you to fill me up," you whined, nails scratching at his back.

"gonna film you up ..." he promised, "gonna have you dripping for me, okay?"

only moments later and he found himself emptying all of him inside you as he gasped into your mouth, only to begin crying out against you when your cunt suddenly tightened with your own orgasm.

humping against you, he lost himself in the pleasure while his orgasm subsided along with yours. pretty sighs of his name filled his ears, making him murmur praise against your own.

finally falling limp against you, he lazily flipped you over so half your body would lay atop his own whilst he ran his hands softly up and down your back.

"did you like your birthday present?" you asked. he could feel your dumb smile against his chest.

chuckling, he gave up, "fucking love my birthday."

[sexlapis]

yn and toji filming a buzzfeed puppies interview together then getting a question about if they would adopt a dog together 🎀🎀🎀

TOJI FUSHIGURO & Y/N + PUPPIES

⤷ cw: fluff, short fic, cute puppies, toji & yn haven’t exactly gone public but everyone basically knows they’re together 💀

a/n: needed to make this a whole thing bc i love this idea sm 🤭

INTRO

“oh my god!” you squeal as the crew members release six fluffy, tiny golden retriever puppies to where you and toji sit. the puppies immediately run over to both of you, and begin licking all over you knees and hands.

“hey, little guy..” toji coos and gently lifts the dog in his hands, practically dwarfing the small animal in the size of them. “such a little squirt, huh?”

you on the other hand, now have three bundles of pale yellow fluff bundled up in your arms, cradling them like they’re your children. “oh my god, oh my god. they’re all coming home with me, i’ll make it happen somehow.”

IF YOU WERE AN ANIMAL, WHAT ANIMAL WOULD YOU BE?

“easy.” toji begins, smirking. “i’d be a wolf. i-”

in the midst of rubbing the belly of one of the puppies, you snort harshly at his answer, pulling you lips together.

toji drops the smirk and looks at you while he rocks two puppies in crook of his big arms. “what’s funny?”

“toji…you? a wolf? i don’t think so..”

toji scoffs. “what’d you think i’d be then?”

“hmm.. i think.. i think you’d be a chipmunk.”

“chipmunk?!” toji exclaims. “no way!”

you hold one of the puppies up to your face, speaking in a baby voice. “toji would be a chipmunk, wouldn’t he? yes he would! yes he would!”

“i would- you know what you would be?” he starts and you know he’s probably going to say something crazy. “you’d be a pterodactyl.”

“a what!” you cackle, dropping your head onto the floor and laying on your stomach. some of the puppies start climbing on your back. “what the hell would i be a dinosaur?”

he puts one of the puppies on the ground and it rests on his shoe. “pterodactyls ain’t dinosaur actually-”

“ok, toji the palaeontologist, why the hell would be a pterodactyl?”

toji shrug, nuzzling the puppy in his arm. “y’know.. they’re loud..and they got big mouths.”

you gasp. “that is-” you puff your cheeks and start throwing the squeaky toys at him aggressively.

“hey! stop!”

IF YOU COULD ACT WITH ANY ACTOR, WHO WOULD IT BE?

“oh, definitely mikasa ackerman.” you answer. “she’s so talented and sweet.” you bounce the puppy in your arms, one who seems to especially love you and toji. “she’s so sweet! yes she is!”

“yeah i’ve heard good things about her..” toji said. “‘think my choice would be..nanami kento. he’s done good work..seems respectable.”

“wow, really? you’d both hate each other.”

“_____, why are you so negative?” toji asks, faking seriousness. “we would get along. don’t be jealous.”

“jealous?!”

“yeah, jealous,” toji picks up the smallest puppy and it to his chest, stroking its head, “ain’t that right? she’s jealous, right?” he shakes his head at you while shaking the head of the puppy with his hand. “she’s so- oh, that one’s taking a shit on the floor.”

you turn and there it was, a tiny puppy, in toji’s words, taking a shit.

“ew.. i forgot they just did that…”

when the puppy finishes it’s…business, the other puppies run over and start sniffing it.

“oh fuck, they’re about to eat his fucking shit.” toji wheezes, shoulders bouncing m. “their faces just make you forget how fucking disgusting they are..”

“eugh, they’re so nastyy.” you cringe at them, cooing at the puppy in your lap. “but you’re not like they are you?”

WOULD YOU ADOPT A PUPPY TOGETHER?

“yes! yes we would!” you rest the female puppy in your arms. “wouldn’t we, toji?”

toji looks at you, admiring how adorable you look with the adorable, little puppy in your arms. he looks back to the puppies in his arms and lap. “‘couldn’t hurt..”

you shout happily. “toji, we’re taking this one home.” you lift the puppy in your hands to the sky like she’s simba. you look off camera. “can we take this one home? please?”

at the end of the video, you’re hugging toji along with the other puppies. “you’re all coming home with me!”

toji looks to the camera for help

(and that’s how you both end up with 6 golden retriever puppies for pets :))

[rizsu]

the cat accident or incident ? gojo satoru.

sum. what happens when you mindlessly pick up things without reading when shopping // short drabble, satoru turns ur cat into a minion ( ref image at the end )

"would you love me if i was a worm?"

"no."

"what about if i was a dinosaur?"

"you'd be dead."

"okay, what if i was a skunk?"

"satoru, what do you want?"

he fakes a laugh, scratching the back of his neck. "whatever do you mean, my dear?"

you sighed, reverting your attention from your laptop to him. in this house, online shopping is near impossible when satoru's around. it's painfully obvious he's up to something mischievous — or, he will be up to something.

a long stare in silence doesn't take long to break him. plopping himself on the bed, he raises both hands in a defensive gesture before speaking, "okay, don't get mad at me but i think i accidentally dyed our cat purple."

"you WHAT?!" you sit up, shoving your laptop off your thighs. out of everything he could've done, accidentally dying the cat purple was not in your list. you give satoru a simple task and trust he will find a way to make it difficult.

he waves his hands side-to-side, standing up to justify himself, "i didn't mean to i swear—" he cuts himself off, taking your hand to lead you to his disaster. "actually, just come see for yourself."

entering the bathroom, a shocked gasp escapes you. the scene is just chaotic: a bathtub coloured purple, a cat that's busy with his tail, discarded gloves, and a bottle of purple shampoo. you tiptoe around the wet floor, bending over to carefully retrieve your beloved cat from the disaster.

"babyyy, look what you did! he's purple now!" you complained, giving gojo a 360 view of the cat.

"oh my god, it's almost as if i didn't know that," he replies sarcastically, forcefully grabbing the damned bottle that started everything. this marks the beginning of him explaining the previous matter.

"i bought this a while ago thinking it was one of those colour correction shampoos, right? lo and fucking behold it turned the thing purple," he wiggles the shampoo in his hand, screwing his face at it.

you're not looking at him, too busy pouting at your now-purple cat, "hey, he's not 'the thing', his name is toots!"

"babe, that's not any better."

"yeah, yeah. unpurple my cat before tomorrow, satoru," you changed your voice's tone, replicating one that warns him of what's to come if he doesn't restore your toots back to his colour.

gojo does nothing but rolls his eyes, squinting at the cat. he's not even worried about it, he thinks, observing the way toots calmly enjoys being in your arms. the privilege he has is tremendous. he's all purple staining your clothes but had gojo been the one he would've been sent to the next year.

"stupid cat."

"did you say something, satoru?"

"yeah, i said i'll book an appointment at the pet's shop thing."

"'kay," you gave him a quick smile before it turned into a pout again. the sight of your toots saddens you. he now looks like the purple, crazy minions.

the purple minion:

[fallstaticexit]

Prev / Next / Beginning / Pillowfort

AN: Just so no one is confused, I turned Summer Holiday into an official Landgraab. I needed another legendary blonde to play as Nancy’s yapping bougie cousin (her father’s niece) and she was casted immediately.

Transcript under the cut

Malcolm: [wails]

Geoffrey: [grumbles] I got ‘em.

Nancy: [yawns] I’ll get him. Need to feed him.

Geoffrey: [murmurs] Won’t fight you for it, dear.

Nancy: [snorts] Oh, I bet.

Nancy Narrates: [Malcolm was the polar opposite of Jonathan in every way. He cried relentlessly through the night. He could never keep anything down. His tiny body always wound so tightly]

Nancy: Ok, Malcolm. What would it take to for you to allow me one full night of sleep? That’s all I ask.

Malcolm: [grunts, hiccups]

Nancy: [softly] Oh, come on. What could possibly be so bad that you must cry like this?

Nancy Narrates: [Most nights, I cried with him, fearing he inherited my melancholy]

Malcolm: [whimpers softly]

Nancy: [sniffs] There. See? Calm. Easy. I know that’s asking alot, coming from me. We’ll get through this, together-

Jonathan: Mommy wahhh!

Malcolm: [cries]

Nancy: [sighs]

Nancy Narrates: [There was no time for tears, when they needed me to be stronger than that]

-

Malcolm: [babbles]

Nancy: [gasps] Are you happy? Are you smiling at me?

Malcolm: [coos]

Nancy Narrates: [As I learned more about Malcolm, I began to notice just how alike we were. The same curious and thoughtful nature that was in his eyes was in mine too ]

Nancy: You’re so beautiful. Geoffrey, look! Malcolm is smiling!

Geoffrey: Of course he is! He loves looking at you. See, Nance? Things just take time. You’re doing great.

-

Nancy Narrates: [And as I learned more about my sons, I was beginning to feel like I could be a mother they deserved]

Malcolm: [coos]

Jonathan: Hi Mommy!

-

Summer: It’s so good to see you, cousin! You’ve been such a shut-in lately! And wow, you look amazing for having had two kids. Although... If you ever want a referral to my guy down in Del Sol Valley, he does wonders. You’d never believe I had a cesarean.

Nancy: Thank you, but I want to avoid going under the knife. I know that’s all the rave now.

Summer: Good for you, hon! Wow, he sure has a set of lungs on him!

Nancy: [sheepishly] He prefers me to hold him, it’s why I haven’t hired a nanny for the boys yet.

Summer: Not many women in your position take such attentive care of their children as you do, cuz. It’s admirable. I think you’re doing a wonderful job.

Nancy: You really think so?

Summer: Oh, of course! Look at me, for example. I’m the definition of a great mother. I raise my boys to be model citizens while my husband runs his own law firm.

Summer: If there was anyone that understands the sacrifices of being a mother, it’s me, Nancy. Landgraab women are built for it, believe it or not.

Nancy: I suppose that’s hard to believe at times considering my mother-

Summer: Oh. Well, Aunt Queenie isn’t a true Landgraab now, is she? She probably wishes she were you, Nancy.

Nancy: What?

Summer: You can’t compare a common woman who married into wealth to born royalty, cuz. Just saying.

Collin: Mom! Taylor pushed me in the mud!!

Taylor: I did not! He FELL!

Collin: No, you pushed me, dickhead!

Taylor: You’re the dickhead, loser!

Collin: SHUT THE HELL UP!

Summer: Ugh! The both of you, zip it! Maria! Maria!! The twins, por favor!

Summer: Summer: My god, I have to do everything! Nance, trust me, motherhood is a thankless job. It really is. My boys would be lost without me, you hear me? Yours are so lucky to have you. Nancy?

Nancy: [inhales sharply]

Nancy Narrates: [Don’t. Please don’t. I’ve worked so hard-]

Summer: [snaps fingers] Hello? Please clean this filthy child, Maria! Rápido! Anyway, what were we talking about?

-

[giggling]

Geoffrey: Then, the big dinosaur came and gobbled up all the little dinosaurs with his big, nasty dinosaurs teeth! Chomp chomp chomp!

Malcolm: [squeals]

Jonathan: He eat all of them, daddy?!

Geoffrey: Every. Single. Last. One!

Geoffrey: But then, the even bigger dinosaur came and ate him!

Malcolm: [gasps]

Jonathan: And then I eat him, Malcolm!

Malcolm: [giggles] Me too!

Geoffrey: Hey, save some dinosaurs for daddy!

Malcolm: Mama! Mama!

Jonathan: Hi Mommy! [whispers] Mommy can eat dinosaurs too, right? Even though she’s a girl?

Geoffrey: Everyone can eat them, especially mommies. [laughs] Hey, Nance. Rough night, huh? Come to bed. I’ll read another story.

Jonathan & Malcolm: YAY!

Nancy: What will you read us?

Geoffrey: How about I tell the story of the handsome king and his beautiful queen and their two silly, little princes?

Nancy: Does this story have a happy ending?

Geoffrey: [grins] It sure does.

[sturniolos-blog]

Can you write a Dad!Chris fic that starts out with smut?

So it begins with Y/N and Chris having sex but Y/N has a daddy kink so the next morning Y/N wakes up and gets ready.

After she wakes up she goes downstairs to make breakfast and when chris comes downstairs with lacey he tells Y/N that Mason's mad at him and when she goes upstairs to check on him he says,"I heard you screaming last night and you kept screaming 'daddy' and 'chris' so I thought dad was hurting you. "

! In the fic Lacey and Mason are 4 years old ¡

Mommy’s okay V2 - Chris Sturniolo x reader

warnings: smut, swearing

smut summary: P in v (unprotected w bc) daddy kink, doggy style, degrading

disclaimer: changed it up slightly! first person POV

—————————

11:04pm

Chris thrusts into me from the back, his hands gripping my waist as he pulls my ass into his waist.

“F-fuck! Chris, g-god!” I moan out, my hands gripping my pillow as i bury my face in it.

“What’s my name?” He growls, grabbing my hair and pulling me up so he can bite my ear.

“D-daddy! G-god! Daddy! I’m gonna cum! Please! Please!” I beg, tears streaming down my cheeks as he moves his hand to put it on my throat, squeezing slightly.

“Good girl, you can cum, baby. Let go..” Chris agrees, kissing the back of my neck.

My body shakes as i feel my orgasm, “Fuck! daddy! I’m cumming!” I yell out.

Chris doesn’t stop, instead he speeds up. I let out a whine as i begin to feel overstimulated, “I can’t, daddy! I-it hurts!” I moan, more tears streaming down my cheeks.

“Y-you can, mama. I’m cumming- g-god, fuck.” Chris stutters before unloading his cum into me.

—————————

8:34am

I had my hair up in a bun as I put the last pancake I had made onto a plate, along side came with bacon and orange juice.

I grabbed the other plate I had set and brought it over to the kids. Kissing both of their heads before grabbing the glasses of orange juice and giving it to them.

“Thanks, mama.” Lacey smiles, grabbing her fork and starting to eat.

Mason notices Lacey said thank you so he does too, “Thank you, mommy.” He says, starting to eat.

“You’re welcome, guys.” I smiles as I start to clean everything up, Chris then comes downstairs.

“Hey, guys!” Chris says, kissing Lacey and Masons head.

“Daddy!” Lacey calls out, hugging Chris around the waist.

“Hey, babygirl.” He says, ruffling her hair.

Chris notices Mason hasn’t said anything, “You good, mase?” Chris says as Lacey goes back to eating.

Mason lets out a groan before running upstairs, more like stomping.

I give Chris a confused look, Chris shrugs.

“Lacey, que pasa a tu hermano?” I sigh, putting the orange juice back in the fridge.

que pasa a tu hermano?: What’s wrong with your brother?

Lacey shrugs as she bites a piece of bacon, “No sé, mommy!”

No sé: I don’t know

Chris comes over to me, kissing my cheek, “I’ll figure it out, ma.” Chris says before starting to walk upstairs.

—————————

8:40am

Chris sighs and comes back downstairs as im washing the dishes.

“He talk to you?” I ask Chris, scrubbing a dish before putting it in the drying rack

“He said he’s mad at me, but he told me to go away when I asked why.” Chris shrugs, putting his hand on my lower back and coming to stand next to me.

I sigh, turning the sink off and drying my hands, “I’ll talk to him.”

I walk upstairs to see through the crack of Masons door, Mason playing with a toy dinosaur, i knock twice before slowly opening the door.

He quickly drops the dinosaur and crosses his arms like he’s mad, letting out a huff.

“Hey, mijo. Que pasa, mi amor?” I ask him, coming and sitting on the floor, criss cross apple sauce in front of him.

Hey, mijo. que pasa, mi amor?: Hey, son. whats wrong, my love?

“Nada, mommy.” Mason looks down.

nada: nothing.

“You can talk to me, baby. I know you’re mad at daddy. Why?” I ask, stroking his hair out of his face.

Mason groans and crosses his arms, “He was being mean to you, mommy!” Mason says.

“What? When?” I let out a laugh.

“I heard you screaming last night and you kept saying daddy and chris and i thought he was hurting you!” Mason lets out a soft sob, hugging my torso and burying his face in my chest.

I hear a muffled laugh come from the door, looking over to see Chris. I scoff and shake my head, “He wasn’t hurting me, baby, we were just talking and i just said his name a little louder. That’s all, my love.” I lie, kissing Masons forehead.

Chris comes in the room, “I would never hurt mommy, Mase..” Chris says, making Mason look up and sniffle.

“Okay.” Mason says.

—————————

so i wanted this out cs i feel guilty but like anyway enjoy this is ass

taglist: @sturniolosmind @novasturniolo03 @hearts4chriss @vinniehackerslefttoe @christhopersturniolo @mattybswife @streamermattsgf @sturnolio-luvs @sturnioloslurps @marlenafortuna @lovergirl4387 @sturniololovesss

[honoriotsusuki]

🎨𝙎𝙏𝙊𝙋 𝙃𝙄𝙏𝙏𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙊𝙉 𝙈𝙔 𝙈𝙊𝙈-🎨

Fyodor x reader

Hard crack and fluff

DESC: Dazai had always hoped his mother would find someone again after his father left her when he was young. However he was not all to pleased to find out she found a FUCKING TERRORIST

WARNINGS: Mentions of terrorism. Everybody begrudgingly tolerates each other as opposed to outright killing each other. Probably ooc Fyodor. Suggestive but it's played for laughs. Kinda spoiler for Fyodors ability if you squint.

Dazai never knew his father. And he never wanted to. He had walked out on his mother when he was less than a year old. And yet his mother did it all for him. She tried her best to help him in any way she could despite her struggles and lack of child support. So as Dazai got older he had hoped his mother would find someone worth her time. A guy that treated her well and made sure she was well taken care of. This is not what he meant by that.

[NAME] stood there happily. Elated to finally introduce the two. Dazai had to fight back the urge to gag, scream, and strike the rat all at once. His eye slightly twitching. Fyodor. His mom was dating a fucking terrorist and she hadnt the smallest clue. His sweet, loving, passionate mother. This was ridiculous. His mother was young, she had him in her late teens so she was in her mid to late thirties, early forties. DAZAI HAD NO FUCKING CLUE HOW OLD THIS RAT BITCH WAS. I mean really- for all he knew he predated the fuckinf dinosaurs. He could've had a drinking contest with Christopher godamn Columbus and he would be none the wiser.

Fyodor- wasnt taking this all too well either. I mean, really - how the hell was this your son!? When Fyodor first met you, he saw you as yet another good person who had to live in a world of tainted ability users. However, he began to see you more frequently. Whether that be by coincidence or subconsciously going to places he had seen you before, he didn't know. But it all led in him, eventually asking you out. Fyodor never considered himself a romantic. He had plans - big ones! He couldn't risk distracting himself. But it was something about the way you spoke, your gentle demeanor and sweet mannerisms. How your coat was slightly stained with bright paint. So, of course, he wasn't risking losing you. When you stated dating, you had laid out immediately that if your son didn't like him, it couldn't happen. You valued his opinion over all else. And Fyodor admired it. You were a loving mother. But if he knew your son was the living embodiment of the "'hang' in there!" cat posters, he would have hired an assasin to take him out. (Not that it would've worked anyway. Dazai never seems to stay dead.)

So now here they both sat, at a cute brunch spot eating together. Anytime you looked their way, their smiles would be back. But the moment you left for the bathroom, they both began openly debating.

"Stop fucking my Mom." Dazai grit his teeth, his fork slightly scratching against his face. Fyodor rolled his eyes, "we haven't performed coitus as of yet you imbecile." He scoffed. Dazai visibly recoiled, relieved and yet disgusted. "Who the hell calls it that?" He gagged. "I would rather adress it as such than with vulgar language-" Fyodor argued. "Oh my god. You sound like a fucking Victorian man. What do the sight of her ankles get your rocks hard my guy?" Dazai groaned. "If you keep this up I will make love with her to spite you." Fyodor glared. Dazai paused. Turning to him in disbelief.

"You wouldnt-

"Watch me, cretin."

@HONORIOTSUSUKI

[giuseppe-yuki]

I HAVE A THOUGHT oh btw it's the original wolf!reader anon who's also the anon that sent in the ask about the groupchat hehe ANYWAY BACK TO MY THOUGHT

Ollie's gf is a bear. But not just any bear - a bear CUB. Like she's just a little cub and everyone is like: OLLIE WHY DO U HAVE A CUTIE PIE WJFNEJFJEJJFJD

Paul Aron's gf is a bird that likes to nest in his hair because it's so fluffy

Going down the Prema pipeline now but like - Dino's gf is obsessed with dinosaurs and wishes with all her heart that she can turn into one... And then she finds out that she can turn into a komodo dragon. She goes: welp, that's the closest I'll get!!

I have so much more omg 😭 but yeah too shy to go off anon for now

helloooo wolf!reader anon! i'm always down to chat :)

my thoughts under the cut!

pictures credits from pinterest :)

that would be perfect for ollie's gf to be a bear cub. i imagine she's clingy like a bear cub too, and it would be common for her to just scamper towards ollie when she needs some love, and to crawl up his long legs. unfortunately, more often than not, ollie would end up with the legs of his sparco racesuits and sleeves of his alpinestars fireproofs accidentally ripped up from her long claws. not that he minded, though. he would just pick her up both of his hands and give her a big smooch on her nose. at first, the prema manager in charge of racesuit distribution would be pissed the constant ruined clothing, but like everyone else, she would fall into the loveable bear cub spell and then spoil ollie's gf rotten. ollie has not only protective boyfriend instincts, but also fierce momma bear-like traits too. god forbid someone tries to harm his girlfriend- they always seemed to have their balaclava's ripped up and radio headphones cords cut before a big race!

i like the idea that paul aron has a songbird!gf. many of the f2 drivers joke that paul is like a princess with a feathery friend, just like george russell and his deer. nevertheless, he takes pride when his gf flutters around his head, singing the most beautiful tunes, or when she nests in the fluffy blonde ringlets on his head. when the jokes go to far, he knows that she doesn't hesitate to dive bomb the offending person and attempt to peck at their eyeballs.

it's not a secret that dino's gf loved dinosaurs. her phone case and background are pics of dinosaurs (she makes sure that a polaroid of her boyfriend is visible from her phone case at all times, though), she takes great care in putting up dinosaur string lights around the driver's room, and she knows every line from jurassic park. hell, even her boyfriend's name is dino. when she found out her special ability, she was over the moon. komodo dragons were basically mini dinosaurs! when she went out in the paddock, some people might have found her scaly, amphibious outer layer scary, but dino loved every bit. when he had bit of spare time from racing, he made sure to research every page on google and read every book on komodo dragons from cover to cover to make sure he could best take care of of his gf when she shifted. in return, she used her scary nature (and toxic/venomous spit) to piss off irritating reporters or touchy fans.

not to worry! thanks for the thoughts :) i've seen other blogs do emoji anons, so if you feel comfortable, you can pick out an emoji to use as your signature so you don't have to repeat yourself every time you send in an ask! 💕