#HE RUINED ME

[cherryblessing]

📎— if only i've said it, suguru.

The room is eerily silent, save for the soft scrape of paper against paper as you sift through the last remnants of his life. Faded ink smears the edges of the notes, the words trailing off mid-thought as if they, too, lost their will to continue.

You sit cross-legged on the floor, surrounded by fragments of Suguru's mind. The air feels thick with his presence, but he isn’t here—not anymore. You haven’t touched these papers in years, the weight of their meaning too much to bear back then. But now, you think, maybe you’re finally ready to face him, or at least the pieces he left behind.

"あのね、私実は気付いてるの ほら、君がいったこと"

You remember the last conversation you had with him, his voice as soft as the dying breeze. He said something that didn’t make sense at the time, something about how the world only made sense if you looked at it from a certain angle. You dismissed it as his usual philosophical musings, laughing lightly in a futile attempt to ease the tension in his shoulders.

Now, the weight of those words presses against your chest. You realize what he meant—or maybe you think you do. It’s too late to ask. It’s too late to hear his voice again.

"盲目的に盲動的に妄想的に生きて"

You think of the moments when he began slipping away, the fire in his eyes replaced by something colder, sharper. The nights when he’d stare at the sky, his silence louder than any words he could have spoken. You tried to pull him back, to keep him tethered to the person he used to be, but the distance between you only grew. He was reckless, you thought, but maybe you were the blind one—unable to see how much pain he was carrying.

"もっと、もっと、もっと もっと、ちゃんと言って"

You wanted him to speak. You begged him to tell you what was wrong, to let you shoulder some of the weight that was crushing him. But he never did. He gave you half-truths and broken smiles, as if sparing you from his reality was the kindest thing he could do. You wonder now if he thought you wouldn’t understand, or if he was afraid you’d leave too.

The anger you once felt has dulled into an ache, a question that will never have an answer. If he’d just said something, would things have been different?

"あのね、空が青いのってどうやって伝えればいいんだろうね？"

You tried everything to make him see it—the simplicity, the brightness, the beauty of life that still existed even as his world collapsed. You remember pointing at the sky one day, its vast blue expanse unbroken, your words catching in your throat as you searched for something—anything—to make him pause, to make him feel.

But how do you describe something so simple, so universally understood, to someone who’s already spiraling into the void? You saw it in his eyes that day—the detachment, the quiet resignation. You wanted to shake him, to shout that the sky was still blue, that there were still things worth living for, worth holding on to.

You couldn’t find the words, though, and the moment slipped away. You wonder now if it would have mattered, if he was already too far gone. But you wish you’d tried harder.

"あぁ、いつか人生最後の日、君がいないことを"

You close your eyes and imagine a world where he’s still here, where he’s standing by the window with that unreadable expression of his. You wonder if he knew how much you needed him, how much the world felt emptier without his presence. You’ll carry that emptiness with you until the end, you think.

Even now, you catch yourself glancing toward the door, half-expecting him to walk in with some offhand comment that only you would understand. But the door doesn’t open, and you are alone.

"牡丹は散っても花だ 夏が去っても追慕は切だ"

The person he was before he left still exists in your memories—the gentle smile, the quiet strength, the way he could make you feel like the most important person in the room without saying a word. That Suguru is gone, scattered like petals in the wind, but he was beautiful all the same.

Even now, with everything that happened, you can’t bring yourself to hate him. You wish you could. It would be easier to let go if you could just hate him.

"きっと、人生最後の日も愛をうたうのだろう"

If you could see him again, you’d tell him all the things you never said. You’d tell him how much he mattered to you, how much you wanted to save him, even if you didn’t know how. You’d tell him that even now, you carry him with you, in the spaces he left behind.

But you can’t say any of that to him now. So you whisper it to the empty room, hoping somehow, some way, he can hear you.

Geto Suguru is gone, and the world keeps turning. But for you, it turns just a little slower, the edges a little blurrier, the colors a little dimmer. You wonder if he ever knew how much he meant to you—if he could feel it, even when you didn’t have the words to say it.

You hope, wherever he is, that he finally understands.

the song ``言って`` belongs to yorushika.

©cherryblessing.2024

[kyojurismo]

nsfw !!

now look at tengen’s hands for a moment…

now, imagine him grabbing your chin while he’s pounding into you. he wants to look right into your eyes while you’re gushing around his dick, before muttering something like “take it like a good girl… i know you can give me another one.” 😮‍💨

[ssaraexposs]

The things I would let this man do to me...

[vanillevs]

I got into F1 because I decided to watch DTS and when I saw his face on the screen I knew I’d be hooked on him for life like I am not joking it was a life changing experience

[1nv1s1bl3-r41ndr0p5]

now do you see why I've begged you for comfort? I'm trying to get him out of my head. I need you.

[annikamaja8-blog]

"where you can't seem to hold me, can't seem to let me go,

So I can't find surrender and I can't keep control"

-Big Thief vampire empire

[mcgilm]

[prozacbarbiee]

how is it that every girl i know is traumatised by a some guy from 2019

[adorablehyunjae]

Can he just settle down for one moment I'm loosing my collective shit.

[id0ntexistyoud0ntexist]

my biggest fear rn is that i’ll never feel anything for anyone again

[purpleisacolor]

I JUST WANNA DATE SOMEONE I CANNOT TAKEN LIVING IN THIS LIMBO ANYMORE

[twinliches]

sometimes it's not even enemies to lovers. sometimes you get handed the leash of a snarling, barking dog against your will and realize with dawning horror that you are now responsible for teaching it not to bite

[hansoeii]

surprisingly, viktor is quite the hugger. Only jayce knows this, of course.

[memoryisthemonster]

The rumors are true. He (the one that broke my heart which must not be named) ruined Evanescence and Phil Collins for me for life. Banned from my playlists. Don't wanna listen to them, let alone mentioning Call Me When Your Sober song/video or the Tarzan soundtrack. Never again.

I hate to relate people with music I like. It's annoying. That's why I will NEVER dedicate a song from my favorite bands and artists.

[cowboylikedean]

why is the smell of someone you're in love with so INTOXICATING

[pidgydraws]

✨ together ✨

continuation from part 2...