#HE MADE ME WATCH MY DAUGHTER DIE IN MY ARMS. TWICE. DEAR GOD HE GOT ME TWICE WITH THE SAME TRICK

[bmpmp3]

is there an otome game equivalent to the watch-this-anime-girl-die-in-your-arms genre of galge. like not just any nakige im talking full out feather/wing motifs. echoing piano synth music all over. cgs of an anime boy with his hair flowing in the wind staring into the distance with a melancholic look. mildly incomprehensible fantasy elements. watch the anime boy die to the dulcet tones of singer-songwriter Lia singing a vocal version of a significant leitmotif from the soundtrack.

[may-fanfic]

A Debt 

summary: nat is the leader of one of the most deadly mobs in town but when she takes you to be her next victim, she has second thoughts.

warnings: kidnapping, mob, mentions of murder and death, mob!nat

pairing: mob!natasha x reader

rating: 18+

word count: 1,838

a/n : sorry im a whore for cliffhangers, hope you enjoy and please do tell me if you want a part 2 

((feel free to send in any request you may have))

masterlist

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all you could see was black when the cloth had been tugged over your face and it muffled your screams. you could hear as the deep voices talked but you couldn’t decipher where they had been coming from. you knew that the person behind you was strong enough to keep you in place but that didn’t stop you from trying your hardest to escape but of course to no avail and quickly you had been shoved into the car, heading god knows where.

all the questions you had glowing floating around in your head had been quickly answered when you were ushered into somewhere before someone had guided you to a chair and quickly shoved you down and in a second the cloth that was covering your eyes was ripped off.

“tie her hands.” and in seconds your hands had been zip-tied to the chair. before you could even adjust your eyes to the bright lights, a girl stood in your view. it had all happened so fast, you had just wanted to go home and sleep off the day but instead you had been in some random house and had no idea what you had done wrong.

your lip quivered lightly but you tried your hardest to straighten out your expressions. “she’s a pretty one, isn’t she?” a man’s voice spoke up from behind the woman and she was quick to roll her eyes.

your eyes wandered around the neat house, there had been nothing insight for you to break free, and honestly, you hadn’t even known how you could escape this so instead you met the woman’s gaze. “hello dear.” her voice was raspy and her accent deep, despite the circumstances, it sent spines down your spine. you couldn’t find your words as tears clouded your eyes, you tried your hardest to stop them but they rolled down your cheeks freely and the woman had pouted down at you.

“darling this is nothing personal, strictly business.” you sniffled lightly, your gaze snapping down to the ground. “does she not speak?” a man’s voice snapped causing you to jump lightly. the woman sucked her teeth before yelling at him in a different language.

“why me?” your voice had come out shaky and hoarse but they were just been glad that you were talking. the woman pulled out a chair so she could sit directly in front of you, her gaze never looking hers. “your father is one of that most wealthy men out there...” she paused for a moment, trying to word her reasoning properly. “and we figured, if we had his precious daughter, he would quickly cut us a nice check.” your eyebrows knitted together, feeling yourself begin to shake. “what happens if he doesn’t?” your question had sat in the air for a while before a man from behind the woman spoke up. “you die.”

the call to your father had been short as expected and it seemed to leave everyone in shock. you hadn’t expected much from the man, he had always been selfish and when they mentioned their price. he was quick to tell them that he didn’t have that kind of money to spare and hung up the call. so now Natasha had sat in silence, her gaze fixed on the phone that was in her hand.

“so how are you gonna kill me?” your voice had come off much colder this time and it left Natasha speechless for a moment. “he has 48 hours.” the woman uttered and you let out a gentle breath, already accepting your fate.

——- ——- Natasha was the one in charge of keeping an eye on you after all she was the leader and if she was honest, she never trusted her gang much especially when it came to looking after you. she watched as you shifted uncomfortably in the wooden chair, trying to lean your head back to get any form of rest but to no avail. Natasha had never really had to wait out an entire 48 hours with one of her victims, their families had always come through and the transaction would be over 5 hours tops but now she was forced to stare at you, feeling a sense of pain for you.

she had never been as heartless as she seemed, of course, she was trained well enough not to get her feelings involved but even her chest burned at the coldness of your father. how could anyone treat their child like that? “I don’t know how you expect me to sleep here all day.” your voice had come off much more confident than before and it made the woman perked up quickly.

she pushed herself up moving to stand directly in front of you, fishing a pocket knife, you could flinch away causing Natasha to suck her teeth. “relax.” she muttered, quickly cutting the zip tie and letting your hands go free. “don’t you dare try anything,” she uttered before gripping your forearms and tugging you through the large house with her before you were pushed into a room.

the bed looked neatly made and the pillows were fresh, the room was painted white and the room reeked of fresh paint. you wondered how many other times the woman did this exact thing with other people. Natasha gave you a gentle shove towards the bed and you didn’t hesitate to take a seat, feeling the soft mattress under you.

“Thanks,” you whispered, toying with your fingers as the girl took a seat on a chair in front of the bed. she nodded quickly, the woman had not taken a proper look at you since she had met you and she secretly wished she had met you under different conditions. “are you gonna kill me?” you asked the woman lightly causing her frown to deepen. “you’ll know when we cross that bridge.”

“I’m not afraid to die,” you uttered out to the woman causing her eyes to meet yours for a moment. “I just thought it’d end differently.” you rambled watching as she cocked her head to the side. “why are you so sure you’ll die?”

“you don’t know my father.” she hadn’t known how to reply to that. there had been some sort of awkwardness in the air and Natasha wished she could just run away from it cause it made her cringe so deeply.

“no one coming to help me.” her heart burned from your statement, she needed you to stop talking before she found herself comforting you. she felt choked up, she knew if anyone knew how was feeling, she’d lose all her respect but dear god did she pity you right now and it was all her fault that you had even been put in this situation. why couldn’t she had just targeted someone else?

you took her silence as a sign that she had enough of your talking so you kicked off your shoes and settled into the soft bed, wrapping yourself in the fresh blanket.

Natasha watched as you drifted off to sleep, her thoughts had been running miles per minute. if Natasha had to kill you because of your selfish father then she would never be able to live with herself. that had been the bottom line and Natasha knew she could never do that.

Natasha felt foolish, she had never thought twice about having to kill someone so why had it been so hard for her to even imagine having to hurt you? Natasha rose from the chair, leaving you to sleep. she had been quick to make a call, feeling her heart pounding with anticipation. she knew tony would know what to do, he had always been wise. “Natasha, hey,” he spoke softly causing the girl to let out a gentle sigh.

“I need your help, tony.”

fear settled at the bottom of your heart when men rushed into the room. you had jumped awake, trying your hardest to fight off the men that had been trying to grab you but everything had seemed to die down when the man stuck a needle into your arm and in seconds your eyes fluttered closed and your body had grown leap. “just take her home.” tony let out a soft sigh before nodding slowly. “I got you, kid.”

the next time your eyes had fluttered open, you had been in the safely of your own home and your bed. it had always felt like a fever dream, you had been confused but overall you were just be relieved that it was over.

—— as much as Natasha wanted to forget that you even existed, her mind had often  raced back to you. she had wondered what you had been up to if you were okay. she found herself outside your apartment almost every night making sure you got in alright. she wanted to run up to you each time she saw you but instead, she would grip her steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles would turn white.

it had taken her a couple of weeks to musks up the courage to let herself into your apartment, it had been unlocked much to her surprise and she took a seat on one of the love seats. she knew your schedule and she knew that you should be home any minute but she still felt her heart pounding when she heard the doorknob turn and when you entered, her breath had became caught in her throat.

you hadn’t seemed shocked that she was there, it was almost as if you had been expecting her. she watched carefully as you set down your purse and keys. “your door was unlocked.” Natasha finally spoke up, gripping at the seat arms. “I know.” you muttered with a gentle laugh. “why have you been watching me?” you asked softly, crossing your arms and staring down the woman.

she couldn’t help the warm blush that appeared on her cheeks before she grinned lightly. she hadn’t even known what she could say in this situation but she had quickly gotten up from the couch, inching her way over to you. “why was your door unlocked?” she questioned, tilting her head to the side. you hummed lightly, shaking your head “I asked you first.”

“I wanted to see you.” her boldness made your cheeks turn a bright pink and Natasha quickly took notice. “and I wanted to make sure you were okay,” a sweet smile formed on her plump lips before she continued.

“why was your door unlocked?” she asked again, feeling a sense of accomplishment when you stumbled over your words, leaning against the wall  as she stepped even closer to you. “I wanted to see you too.” she hummed lightly, bringing her hand up to your cheek, caressing your cheekbone softly. Natasha leaned down to meet your lips but you quickly turned your face.

“I need you to do something for me.”

[nauseateddrive]

4 POEMS by Jake Sheff

Elegy for Dog I: A Failed Acrostic

January was tired when it became king. Apples here love being red in the spring, Casting shadows against the stone architraves our Kapellmeister will never live down. You Stole Apollo’s cows, and let them graze to show me Heaven’s template. Where do failed heroes go? Eucalyptus cupolas and polar icecaps Frame the downtrodden gods. But you weren’t Freakishly wrong, as I so often am, on your

Joyride through nearly twice eight years, Á la someone far from beauty’s stepmom. Copper coin or grimacing sun? I’ve got 20,000 Kor of crushed grief on this threshing floor. Shark-sparks of sadness flood the impetiginous air… How, and why, do clouds cobblestone Entire days, and lakes, when you’re not here? Fixing every broken thing, poets go where Ferns and geraniums baptize the morning.

“Jur-any-oms,” is how you’d spell it; After all, a dog’s a dog, and wisdom knows futility. Cassations make a rusty brew, to drink the truth of truths, and Kill whatever ceases wanting to be new. Stewardship, the color of gravity’s silence, naturally Houses every “glur” (a glittery blur); go chase what plays Eternal games. I hear the swans by Rooster Rock. Your handsome Face, its happy handsomeness, in memory’s eye, goes in and out of Focus; in love’s better eye: your goodness neath its everblooming ficus.

Gravity and Grace on SW Murray Scholls Drive

“Impatience has ruined many excellent men who, rejecting the slow, sure way, court destruction by rising too quickly.” Tacitus, The Annals of Imperial Rome

The traffic lights control the people’s actions, but Not their feelings, as the limits of philosophy Collide head on with the nose of a Dalmatian.

I tell you, the day is stress-testing itself, and these Sidewalks wish that it’d just gone straight. Geese Take this sky-hairing wind for granted, as they

Land on the lake like memorable speech on The sensitive soul. Time is never sharp, but it’s Cutting something in the credit union. Maybe

It’s dancing a back Corte for the woman in line Thinking about the taste of limes from Temecula As she waits for the teller. Air Alaska and that

Haunted pie in the sky are not the only reasons For all the volatility in the air today. Rushing And perfectionism both produce a loss; behind

The Safeway Pharmacy, you’ll see the small Smells of both, sloshing around to the ticking- Sound of the ocean’s tides. I must admit, I am

Frozen in place by the sight of steam from Joe’s Burgers; it is poetry’s pale tongue, rising in And arousing the air. This neighborhood’s street-

Lights are more serious than kokeshi dolls. Lights From its windows outshine poison dart frogs. Maybe to forget about life for awhile, the lamps

Are focused on The Population Bomb? ‘Easy Tiger,’ all these incidents whisper. Each day’s A sign twirler’s dais; each corner a promise

Of something more in a different direction: it isn’t A marriageable daughter or impoverishment, But inguinal ingenuity plays a part, and that isn’t

Bad at all. What oaths and paths went here Before Walmart? What voices were voided by The liquor store? What are vague’s values

When the library shares a parking lot with a 24- Hour gym and a cargo cult? Gas stations satirize                                                                           The Queen of Hearts; I tell you, it makes every

Question seem incidental. Treaty-breakers in Pajamas swing on the swing sets. Was August That full of angst? It feels like autumn went too

Far on accident. Desertification, in a sugar tong Splint, takes a shot of ouzo and talks shit About the death of Brutus, but my Bible-thumping

Memory – on a ski hill in Duluth – is also too busy Watching some ducks on the lake to notice; and Desertification makes a face at me like a Swedish

Film. Poets make for poorly picked men to Familiarity’s paymaster-general. The Calvinistic Rain is an ill-starred attempt to make mayonnaise-

Fries just for me, but I must admit, it all seems – You know – cybernetic. And step-motherly as all Get out, if you ask the trees. They prefer “You

Can’t Hurry Love,” by The Supremes, to any Changes that take effect in one to two pay periods. Pretext ricochets; a perfect reverse promenade.

At Summer Lake, When the Vegetables are Sleeping

Cruelty drinks all the wine, and never gets drunk On these shores. When Summer Lake speaks, In every word, an introduction to the world. I am

Easily duped. The greatest duper duplicates my pride, Which always lingers, in the hallways of my heart And beneath the surface of Summer Lake. The sky is

Supplicating, it’s literally shaking. An hour passes Faster here, the hour always held too dearly dear In paranoid and ivied walls. The ducks can do

An unwise thing correctly, and it sounds more like Dusty than Buffalo Springfield to the enokitake Sold in Springfield, Illinois, which is the opposite

Effect it has on the wild mushrooms on these shores. On cables capable of love, the geese convince The weather to taste like kvass today. Basically,

Another Cuban Missile Crisis drowned itself just Now. The clouds might ask themselves, ‘Is lowliness Allowed here?’ To which the crows might ask,

‘Does omertà sound like lightning?’ The answer’s Oubliette is ten times worse than impotence. Summer Lake isn’t smart, but it stays quiet, like

Someone too smart to say all they know. ‘Whoa, Sweet potato,’ the capital gains tax mutters To itself, knowing that what matters doesn’t mean

A thing. Some say the lake bottom’s sands receive Commands from Hearst Castle, others say Its hands are King City’s hands, and still others

Maintain more sins have been than grains of sand Times secondary gains, and that explains The beauty and industry that none can see but

All can feel on these shores. (Some possibilities Play possum, or get opsonized by hate; this one snores Like Rip Van Winkle.) This orb-weaver spider is

The Milton Friedman of Summer Lake, the wind On her web is Grenache from The Rocks District Of Milton-Freewater AVA for the eyes. The day is

Stereotypical, although it feels like three days In one…But for the lake’s good counterfactual Questions, I would forget that some die young,

But most die wrong. I’ve tried to pick up Summer Lake’s reflections in three lines or less, but The hardest truth is your own impotence. Oh,

It’s hard to hand your power over to a thing No one can see. Hopped up on distinctions – not The obvious distinctions – Summer Lake is pretty;

Cold, but pretty! In the distance, with so many Intercessory prayers, hot air balloons are rising; Shaped like teardrops, upside down and rising.

This lake re-something-or-anothered me. Are first Impressions wrong sometimes? I am a season’s Golden calf, according to the sunlight, doing

A prospector’s jig on the surface of Summer Lake. If not for the Weimar Republic’s wooden- Headedness, I’d set down my heart-song and

Listen to reason on these shores. I never trust An activist guitar, if the weather is socially clumsy. The future is reflected on the lake: it always

Laughs at us – between its math and gratitude Lessons – and never thinks of (or gives thanks to) Us enough. The presence in the lake juniors

My ears. The day is not too baffling, nor is it Jane Eyre. Space-themed and spiritual, some autumn Leaves are swimming in the rain. The ducks arrest

My attention in the mardy weather, even though they Must know my attention is dying. The barbed wire Around my stated goal is an outcome out of

Their control. Picnickers picnic with acorns and apricots, On blankets covering Holy Schnikey’s death mask. My unsandaled thoughts thrive and increase on these,

And no other shores. They are pets for the days less Important than love, when Summer Lake says it’s Humble, because it knows the right thing to say.

Summer Lake gives the comfort of commonly held And seriously absurd beliefs to the blue heron. Nothing is wrong with this lake or anything in it,

Not even the ghost of Amerigo Vespucci. It’s all so Simple to the stiff-necked molecules of water, made out Of frogs and snails and puppy-dog’s tails. These thoughts

Are fine manna in a fine ditch. Post-structuralist squirrels Can tell my heart’s in Italy, and I’m in the intellectual Laity. Chivalry’s technician sees my shovel, and they say,

‘You’ve got to hand it to him.’ Neurocysticercosis Sets the bar high; it looks at this park, and thinks The smartest monkey drew the perfect landscape.

That’s this maple tree’s previous disease, its precious One. It unfurls the ferns of my firm and foremost Beliefs, I’m told, to partialize insufferable vastidity.

We Install a Sump Pump on (What Used To Be) a Holiday (Take 2)

The oppressive heat was born a fully grown Man. I admire the result of its effort, but Despise the means of achieving it. My wife Asserts her individuality in the gunk; her Body’s allegations aren’t too soft or hard today. Her self-interest seems to have drowned in the vortex.

Our little garden knows flippancy with regards To privacy is unwise. The stepping stones can Only blather, as slugs draw nomograms on Their faces. My wife’s body speaks Proto-Indo- European in the vortex and denim overalls. Marc Chagall’s The Poet studies her. He calls her

‘Innocence: The opposite of life! A criminal with A badge!’ I hand her the tools of a crude and Rudimentary faith, and she says, ‘Jill, great books Make fine shackles.’ Her arms only have An administrative objective in the vortex, but They are where good things come from.

Jake Sheff is a pediatrician in Oregon and veteran of the US Air Force. He's married with a daughter and whole lot of pets. Poems of Jake’s are in Radius, The Ekphrastic Review, Crab Orchard Review, The Cossack Review and elsewhere. He won 1st place in the 2017 SFPA speculative poetry contest and a Laureate's Choice prize in the 2019 Maria W. Faust Sonnet Contest. Past poems and short stories have been nominated for the Best of the Net Anthology and the Pushcart Prize. His chapbook is “Looting Versailles” (Alabaster Leaves Publishing).

[meterokinesis]

Caged Birds Still Sing

Read it on AO3

Prompt: explosion, kidnapping, tearful smile

Summary: Tim's been kidnapped before. He doesn't know if he's getting out this time.

It had been three days since Tim had been kidnapped by the League of Assassins. This time was significantly less nice than the last, and then he’d been missing an organ.

He was in the same lavish rooms, with their silk sheets and gilded mirrors, but the lock on the door had been changed. Where Tim had once been allowed to come and go, he was now stuck here. The door locked from the outside, and the only other point of escape was the large balcony, where iron bars arched overhead. He was a Red Robin in a golden cage.

Meals came at regular times. A crossword puzzle came with his breakfast, and on his second day a copy of War and Peace came with lunch. He’d been stripped of all his trackers and gadgets when he got here, which had been replaced with the silks of the League.

Tim was well acquainted with kidnapping. Having been the only heir to the Drake fortune, he had been kidnapped twice as a child, once when he was three and once when he was eight. He didn’t remember much, other than the shrieks of police sirens when he’d finally been found. Once he started as Robin, the kidnappings began in earnest. He was never gone for longer than a night or two, and Bruce always saved him. He was Batman, that was what he did.

So Tim bided his time, sipping ginger tea and doing crossword puzzles and reading Tolstoy. Soon, Bruce would come.

On the fourth day, Tim received his first visitor. He was on the balcony, taking his breakfast under the bright desert sun. He looked up to see Ra’s al Ghul, the reflection of his jewelry practically blinding against the shadowy backdrop of Tim’s chambers. Tim took another bite of toast.

“Hello, Detective,” he drawled as Tim squinted up at him.

“Oh, hello,” Tim said quietly. “Have you made up your mind on whether or not you’re killing me yet?” Ra’s didn’t laugh, but Tim didn’t expect him to. He wasn’t known for his sense of humor.

“See, there’s only so many reasons you’d keep me here,” Tim continued. “You don’t need intel, because you already know everything about us. You don’t need money, because you’re richer than God. I’m either here because you want to trade me for something, you need me to code, or you still want that heir.”

A venomous smile spread on Ra’s face. “Clever boy.” The words stilled Tim, his toast abandoned on his plate. “Now, follow me.”

Ra’s swept out of the room and Tim followed, keeping sure to hold his head high. His mother would be proud. Even being led to his doom, he wouldn’t let the facade fall. As they walked through the Cradle, Tim refused to meet the eyes of the assassins that milled about. He could feel their gazes tear at him, but he let the wounds pile up.

Ra’s study was incredibly simple, but nice all the same. It looked like an older version of every board member’s home office. Tim despised it.

Ra’s gestured for him to sit in one of the stiff chairs, and Tim complied. The head assassin remained standing, his fingertips brushing over the manuscripts that lined the walls.

“I feel as if we know each other well enough by now, Detective. You spent quite a bit of time with us before you decided to defect. You know that I do not play, I win.” Tim stared ahead, trying his best to keep his face blank.

“So, here is what you will do. And you will do it, Detective. You will notify Batman that you are turning in your cape to work for me. You will tell him not to search for you.”

Tim cleared his throat. “And if I don’t?”

Ra’s smirked, as if he expected the question. “Then I will instruct the assassins following your civilian friends to put bullets in their skulls. I don’t believe Mr. Fox will appreciate losing two of his daughters in one day. I know Commissioner Gordon wouldn’t be a fan. Nor Ms. Ives.”

Tim nodded shallowly. “So it’s them or me?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “Why exactly do you want me so badly? Why not Damian or Bruce?”

Ra’s laughed darkly. “Because your spirit will be so much more fun to break.”

                                                ___________

That night, when he was safely back in his beautiful cage, Tim began his letter.

Dear Bruce (and Dick and Jason and Babs and Cass and Damian and Steph),

Since my return to Gotham, something has been missing in my life. I’ve decided to come back to the League of Assassins in an attempt to solve that emptiness. This is of my own volition. Do not come looking for me, I do not want to be found. I love you all.

Always yours,

Tim

He fell asleep watching the moon shine through iron bars, wondering if this is how every criminal he ever put away felt.

                                                ___________

It took two days for Ra’s to start giving Tim tasks around the Cradle. Small ones, mostly filing. Some putting pieces together. It felt as if even with all of Ra’s power over life and death, he didn’t know much about order. Tim slogged through the work, waiting for time to tick down. He fixed small loopholes and backdoors and monitored agents in the field. It was easy work, at least when Tim forgot about the trained killer hovering just outside his door.

At night, he scratched out notes on the pages of Tolstoy. Short snippets, like “I’m sorry” and “Thank you” and “I always loved you.” They’d never see the light of day, but they made him feel better.

During his free time, he fixed the computer wiring and did odd electrical tasks around the Cradle. It was as if no one there knew how to use a soldering iron. As much as the menial tasks frustrated him, they kept his hands busy and kept Ra’s off his back.

                                                 ___________

Rescue came two weeks after Tim Drake was kidnapped. He was in the main hall when the alarms of the breach sounded. Assassins streamed around him, all headed to their respectful stations. Tim headed to the control room.

The control room was small and filled with screens. A skylight gave the tiniest bit of natural light twenty feet above. Tim busied himself with the controls, monitoring the cameras and putting the last minute details on his plan.

Rapping came from the skylight, and Tim looked up to see Steph waving at him. He hesitated for half a moment, then nodded. She shattered the glass and rappelled down, landing with a quiet thud.

“Tim, here,” she whispered and pressed a comms unit into his hand. He nodded and placed it in his ear.

“I need all of you to listen to me. You need to leave,” he began, his voice hoarse from disuse.

“We’re not leaving you-” Dick butted in, but Tim cut him off.

“You have to. If you don’t, civilians die. People we love die. I-I can’t let that happen.” Stephanie placed a hand on his arm, but he shrugged it off. “I have a plan, but I can’t pull it off if you’re here.”

“We’ll let you take point on this, Red Robin.” Bruce’s low voice calmed the nerves racing through Tim’s veins. If Batman said it would be okay, it would be okay.

“You have three minutes to evacuate,” Tim finished, then slipped the comm unit out of his ear.

“Tim…” Stephanie whispered, reaching out for him. This time, he let her hold his hand, running his thumb over the seams of her gloves.

“Hey Stephie,” he murmured, trying his best to muster a smile. “You have to go, okay? You have to be a hero. For me.” She shook her head, opened her mouth to say something, but he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Go,” he urged, and she nodded. With one last squeeze of her hand, she was grappling back through the skylight. He watched as she disappeared, and tried not to let his heart break too much.

He readied the plan, fingers flying faster than he could remember ever doing before. Hands trembling, he placed the comms unit back in his ear just as it crackled to life.

“We’re all out, Red Robin. We’re a kilometer away, in one of the nearby caves. What’s your ETA?”

Tim smiled shakily. “I’m afraid I won’t be joining you. The Cradle’s undergoing self-destruction. I set up the protocol while Ra’s thought I was doing busy work.”

“Tim, you can’t be serious.” For the first time in years, Tim thought he heard fear in Bruce’s voice. “We can still get you out.”

“Someone needs to make sure it goes through with no interference. If Ra’s wants me so bad, he can have me.” Tim suddenly became aware of the tears rolling down his cheeks. “Thank you for saving me. Thank you for loving me. Now it’s time to let me save you.”

Despite the layered protests in his ear, Tim pressed the figurative big red button. As tears stained his face, he smiled. At least he would go out saving people. That’s all he had ever wanted to do.

The numbers ticked down on the screen. 8… 7… 6…

“I love you,” Tim rasped.

3… 2… 1…

0.

The world went white, and then there was nothing.

[searchingforbucky]

FIC RECS (Part 5) :)

Okay we are going to try this again lol. I hope I got everyone I was intending to!This one is LONG so buckle up babes. 

The request was for Cop!Bucky fics, by anonymous. Now I am SO excited to share this list because Cop Bucky is my top 2 favorite AU’s and actually the first AU I ever read for Bucky. So its incredibly close to my heart, and so are these fics. I hope everyone enjoys! :) (I start with Series, then go to One-Shots) 💖💕💗💓

In the Arms of Justice by @avengerofyourheart

Okay, this was actually the first full Cop!Bucky fic I ever read and let me tell you, it was an amazing bridge into what is now an unhealthy obsession lol. This fic is so well done. I love the way Anika plays with details in her stories. Every word has you hanging on, no stone is left unturned, no detail forgotten. This one, especially if you go back and read it a second time, you see all of the tiny foreshadowing she does. Its such a good mysterious fic. Its absolutely amazing the Protective/Soft Bucky on top of that is the best ever. Please read it twice to be able to fully realize the beauty.

Heart & Soul by @all1e23

This one is an ABO fic, and oh man is it good. This fic is just so heartbreakingly beautiful. Allie is dedicated, in all of their stories, to being as truthful to true human experiences and this is just another example. The emotion is so real and painful and I can somehow picture to all of these experiences even though I’ve never had them myself, solely because of the way they write. This is a story about trauma, trust, loyalty, and personal strength. Theres murder mystery and fluff all in  a lovely package.  The relationships between her and every one of the characters is so well drawn out, its just such a heartwarming fic.

The Witness by @wkemeup

Words tend to evade me when I try to explain my love for this fic, but I need I need to make sure its recognized. Bucky is soft and just wants the reader to be safe, the reader is self sufficient and headstrong. My favorite pairing. This story is honestly something that changed the way I read Bucky fics. It was the first story of hers I have ever read, and never have I gotten more lost in a story than this. Before this, I would mainly focus on dialogue of a story, and other important bits. This was so beautifully done, and packed with detail and emotion in the smallest sentences I made sure I didn’t miss a single thing. Also, the way she writes the aftermath in her Drabble/epilogue are so truthful to life and recovery. Ugh, just an amazing read.

Deception by @revengingbarnes 

This story is unlike the others I’ve read before. I LOVE undercover fics, don’t get me wrong, but a lot of the time they are set in this perfect world with no repercussions. This fic is so damn raw and honest and real. It shows the pain and aftermath that is unavoidable from situations like these, the emotion from Bucky and the Reader seeps through every word making it impossible not to get invested into them and their love. Not everything in life is perfect, there isn’t always that one happy ending, and this fic shows that. There is bumps and bruises and you won’t know whats coming until it happens but thats what makes it beautiful. 

Seven Thirty by @nacho-bucky 

So this one is absolutely the cutest thing ever. Its technically a cop!bucky but its not like the main factor in the story, but Im including it anyways because its too amazing to not! This has UNCLE BUCKY, oh my god thats my favorite soft Bucky trope and its done again here so well. Bucky is needs help with a kid, she works with kids, what could go wrong??? Nothing! Because this is a story of two awkwardly adorable individuals being roped into the cutest relationship ever by a sneaky little girl. This story is Witten so well, every detail paints the best picture of utter domesticity and love and I cannot get over it. Especially the little drabbles accompanying it? Be still my heart. 

Ride With Me by @jurassicbarnes 

Now this one is a treat, we’ve got Cop!Bucky and Biker!Reader (whaaaat?? Biker reader??) Yes! So unique right? And its so well done too. This is about the cutest thing because you have no gender stereotypes whoop whoop! You have soft shy Bucky (who tries so hard to hide it, oh my love), and a badass reader! Its so unique and absolutely adorable. I feel like this needs to be made into a romance movie, I would watch the hell out of it. Its like perfect YA romance I'm telling you! Opposites attract and lead to a work of art in disguise as a Bucky Fanfic. Also, I want Natasha to be my Best Friend :( 

Sweet as Cinnamon by @propertyofpoeandbucky 

It wouldn’t be a proper Cop!Bucky list without some Chubby Bucky! In there! Now, wanna know who’s sweet as cinnamon? Bucky Barnes in this fic (more like a compilation of one-shots). We have a single dad, divorced, insecure, chubby Bucky, and we all know what that leads to? Me in an absolute puddle of love and fluff. The relationship he has with the reader and his daughter are the most pure things I’ve ever been lucky enough to read. I love sneaky kids man, and oh does he have one! All of Leilanis fics are so good, but something about this Universe really just sticks in my heart. Amazingly well written, 10/10 would read every single one again. 

Good Cop, Bad Cop by @cametobuyplums 

Okay, another thing that makes this list complete? A smutty fic (again more of a compilation of one shots). This fic is damn good. Its kinda like SAC in the way of Bucky is a single, insecure, divorced, chubby father. But plot twist! Reader is a young sexy police chief that just wants her man, Bucky. Let the fun ensue! No seriously though, besides the smut, this series is incredibly well done. You wouldn’t expect many heartfelt moments in a fic like tis, but thats the beauty of it. I love reading stories where Bucky just gets loved up and fights his insecurities. If you like reading smut, I guarantee you will love this fic!

Sunshine by @thottybarnes 

Let me squeal about this one real quick. I just recently read it and I LOVED it. Honestly any story that has beefy Bucky is always gonna be a good one for me, but beefy Bucky AND soft, baby fever having Bucky? Oh my heart cant take it. This fic is absolutely adorable. I love how fun and light hearted it is, and the details they put in the background are to die for. Such a good fic if you want fluff, and Cop!Bucky all in one fantastic package. The way she rights the reader also just makes me feel like a good person and who doesn’t love that? All in all, the story is amazing, and now I want a baby with beefy Bucky :(

Anyone Except You by @maid-of-mourne-shore  

Okay so this one is definitely different than the ones I’ve listed so far. This one is a little intense. Definitely needs a trigger warning especially with the current US gun situation. Anyways, if you can handle it, please read it. Its a beautifully raw story that portrays that trauma for an outsider so well. I was on the edge of my seat, heart hurting. Bucky Is so soft, the mutual pining is there, the protective Bucky is there, the flangst is there. Its really, really good.

Uniformed by @bucky-plums-barnes

Oh my dear Gen, another wonderful fic from her. This story is absolutely so unique in the way its set up. The sections being introduced like a hospital case had me hooked from word one. I love a hard to get fic, especially when it involves a cocky Bucky and a take no nonsense reader! This fic has its fun times, but it also gets some angsty moments of just raw emotion and understanding between two people in difficult career paths, its truly beautiful. Also, UNCLE BUCKY makes an appearance :)

And finally, last but not least 

Reassurance by @ofheroesandvillains

Obviously I’m a sucker for insecure chubby Bucky. He gets a little green here not gonna lie, makes him about 50x cuter. We get it Bucky, she’s your wife (so you say) and not his. This fic issuer cute, I love me a reassuring reader, because I know I would say the same in that situation. You feel the love between the characters, its not an overwhelming display of love, but its truthful to life and real feelings, and I love it so. 

If you read to the end of this long list, bless your heart and I love you so much. I’m not a writer, so my grammar is probably bad, and I basically just write in a stream of consciousness lol, so sorry for that! I hope you love the fics on here as much as I do! Till next time my loves. 

[freespiritdani]

"But I didn't mean for this to happen..." Part 2 of 2

NOTE: I teach AP English at a high school in the USA. When I began this class this semester, I gave my class an assignment to write a fan fiction essay based on their favorite story, movie, show, or game. All but one of my students are Choices fans and wrote accordingly, Two of them (my daughter and my daughter-in-law) decided to team up and write one 2-part story. They gave me permission to share it here. You've already read Part 1 (I hope), now...submitted for your approval, here is Part 2.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kaitlyn stepped off the Gulfstream at a little tiny airport just outside Northbridge. Ryan Summers, actor and fellow Hartfeld alum, had let Kaitlyn borrow his jet and pilot when Zack called her and told her about finding Alex dead.

She had slept fitfully during the cross-country flight. Alexandra Day and Kaitlyn Liao had been best of friends from the moment they met on their first day at Hartfeld. They were also lovers for a short time during freshman year. The memories of all the good times they had together was all that was helping Kaitlyn keep it together right at the moment.

Zack was waiting on Kaitlyn when she entered the terminal building. He ran up to her and gave her a bear hug, then he began to cry.

"I'm sorry I called you last night, but I didn't know who else to call," Zack said. "I went over to check on her like you or I have always done ever since she started drinking....and....and...she was lying on the couch, eyes open....not...not breathing...and..." Zack started sobbing.

Kaitlyn had started crying by now. She patted Zack on the back and said, "Don't apologize, Zack. Somebody had to let me know."

"And, Bec--" Zack started, but stopped abruptly when Kaitlyn's phone went off. She pulled it out of her hip pocket and checked it. A puzzled look came across her face.

"What the.....an email from Alex???" Kaitlyn asked, confused. She clicked on it and read it. "Ohhhhhhh myyyyyy god..." she said under her breath. "Alex, you little fool..." She bowed her head and slumped down into a seat in the lobby.

"Are you all right?" Zack asked.

Kaitlyn reached her phone to Zack. "She sent this at seven last night and queued it so I wouldn't get it until this morning after it was too late to do anything about it."

Zack read the email, then plopped down in the chair beside Kaitlyn and sighed. "Well, dear Alexandra," he said with a tone of resignation in his voice, "you're in good company, girlfriend."

"Zack Zilberg, the is the most inconsiderate thing I have ever heard you...." Kaitlyn paused, then it dawned on her that Alex's suicide wasn't the only bad news. "Is there something else you need to tell me?" she asked slowly.

Zack bowed his head. "Yeah," Zack said quietly, "there is. It's what I started to tell you when Alex's suicide note email came in. Becca committed suicide last night, too. Jumped off the eighteenth floor of the Hyatt here last night."

Kaitlyn's mouth dropped open. "Why? Did she leave a note?" she asked.

"No need. Madison was with her when it happened," Zack answered, then he proceeded to tell Kaitlyn what Madison had told him about the events of the night before.

Kaitlyn looked toward the ceiling, then began to cry. Zack silently reached over and held her to comfort her, as much for his own benefit as it was for hers. After a few minutes of this, Kaitlyn composed herself and stood up.

"Zack," Kaitlyn whispered, "I need to see them. Will you take me to them?" Zack opened his mouth to object, but Kaitlyn quickly continued, "Please, I beg you....I have to see them...I gotta do this for my own peace of mind."

Zack rose from his seat. "Okay," he said, trying to smile at his friend, "let's go."

An hour later, Zack and Kaitlyn were standing in the mortuary lobby, looking at the board listing all the bodies there. Kaitlyn found what she was looking for:

ROOM 2: DAY, ALEXANDRA J.

And a little farther down:

ROOM 8: DAVENPORT, REBECCA L.

They walked down to Room 2 and looked in. Near the coffin containing Alex's body, Kaitlyn spied a blonde woman standing and looking somberly in the coffin. No, it can't be! she thought. It's not possible! Then she remembered the girl in psychology class that went to Braidwood Manor and what she found. Or is it possible?

"Zack....would you mind waiting in the lobby? I need to be alone right now..."

Zack replied shakily, "Frankly, I want to get out of here, period. After finding her last night, right now I...I...I can't...can't see her...her..."

Kaitlyn put her hand on his shoulder. "If you want to leave me here and go, that's okay," she told Zack. "I understand. I'll be okay, and once I'm done here, I'll go get some rest and meet you back at your house at four. Okay?"

Zack put his hand on Kaitlyn's and smiled weakly. "Okay. Thank you."

Kaitlyn watched Zack leave, then she turned and walked to where Alex's body lay. She gently stroked Alex's cheek. "She's so beautiful," Kaitlyn whispered, then said in a normal voice, "Why'd you do it?"

The blonde said plaintively, "I didn't mean to! I didn't mean for this to happen.... I didn't want her to die...I just wanted to make things right between us..."

Kaitlyn turned and faced the blonde. "I know you didn't want her to die," she said gently. "I want to know why you wanted you to die, Becca. Why did you take that dive off the balcony?"

"Because my...." Becca paused. "Wait a second... You know I'm here? You can hear me? Because you're the first person who's even acknowledged my presence since...since...I landed on the street...."

"Kinda surprised me to see and hear you too," Kaitlyn replied, chuckling. "Then I remembered Hannah and her girlfriend and took the chance I wasn't hallucinating. So, I still wanna know: why did you jump?"

"Because..." Becca hesitated, looked in Alex's coffin, then said, "Because she's now dead and I caused it. She drank herself to death because of me...I know it. She drank herself to death because I was a selfish bitch that let my pride get the better of me."

Kaitlyn asked, confused, "How do you figure that?"

"You remember the blowup and breakup after I got accepted to transfer to Hawg," Becca replied. "Well, after it all went down, I knew the way I went about it hurt her....I'd made her cry....I was afraid to chase after her because I didn't want to make her cry again....so I threw myself into my studies, got my J.D., worked my way up to become the youngest District Attorney in California history....there's even talk -- scratch that, there WAS talk -- of me running for Attorney General next year....but...Kaitlyn....all that success, all that that glory...was hollow. It didn't fill the void that Alex left in me when we split up. All that I have -- had -- achieved...meant and means nothing without her... As each day went by...that empty feeling kept getting bigger, kept gnawing at me....It got worse every time I saw her on TV being interviewed after each best-seller she wrote, because she looked so happy without me....Finally, I'd had enough. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to talk with her and try to make things right...you know the rest....so, yeah, I killed her. I didn't mean for her to die .."

Kaitlyn sighed. "You didn't kill her, Becca. She killed herself. She sent me a suicide note by email," she said.

Becca was puzzled. "If I wasn't what caused her to take her own life, what was?" she asked.

"Well, technically, you were," Kaitlyn answered, "but not in the way you think. It wasn't anything you'd done, but something she'd done. According to her note."

"But...she never did anything to me! She was nothing but good to me!"

A voice came from behind them. "Yes I did, Becs. I did something bad to you. Three times."

Kaitlyn and Becca spun around. "ALEX!!!" Becca cried out.

"The first time was when I acted like a spoiled brat and walked out on you during the law school blowup," Alex continued. "The second time was last night when I gave you hell and walked out on you a second time without giving you a chance to talk....I screwed us both over with that one...had I taken the time to talk and listen, we probably wouldn't be in this situation..."

Kaitlyn looked at Becca. "She got you there, Davenport," Kaitlyn said, then looked at Alex and continued, "but you said three times. That's only twice."

Alex chuckled slightly and said, "Considering that my corpse is in this room, and that Becca's is three doors down because I made the one in here a corpse, number three is kinda obvious, don't you think?"

Becca looked at Kaitlyn and said, "She got you there, Liao."

"Oh, shut up!" Kaitlyn shot back.

Alex walked over and looked at her own body lying in the coffin. "I wish I could take it back, Becca," she said, regret and remorse showing in her voice. "The woman I loved, the woman I longed for, the woman I wanted to hold in my arms again, the woman I wanted to come back to me and take me and make me her wife...came back to me wanting to make things right between us....and I fucked it all up, ruining any chance of that happening...I couldn't take it. My life was over because I couldn't go on another day without her...so I sent Kaitlyn a suicide note via email, grabbed two bottles of tequila, guzzled both down in two minutes flat and...next thing I know... I'm standing up, sober as I can be, looking down at my dead body....".

Alex looked at Becca. "I died needlessly by my own hand. And because I did, you took your own life, also needlessly," she said ruefully. "I killed us...I'm ultimately responsible for both our deaths. Our blood is on my hands...and I can't do anything to make up for it and make it right...and...." She looked at Becca with sorrow and regret in her eyes. "...I have to deal with that for all eternity....I can't take back what I've done...I've condemned us to...to this....and...now...I have to face the fact that..that I caused us to never be together, ever...I'm so sorry, Becca...I never meant for it to be like this...."

"Are....Are you saying you don't love me anymore? You don't want to be with me anymore?" Becca asked dejectedly.

"I love you very much, Becca! I never stopped!" Alex replied. "But... we're dead. All we are now is a pair of ghosts. That sorta puts a stop to being with each other, doesn't it?"

Kaitlyn interrupted. "Umm, Alex... If Eleanor being a ghost didn't stop her and Hanna from being in love and being together, why would it stop you two?"

Alex thought, then looked at Becca. "After all I've done, after all the damage I've caused,":Alex asked nervously, "can you ever find it in you to forgine me?"

"I forgave you a long time ago, my love," Becca said gently. "Can you forgive me?"

Alex put her arms around Becca and kissed her tenderly. "I already have."

Becca put her arms around Alex and returned the kiss passionately. "Will you stay with me and be my woman?"

Alex smiled and looked Becca in the eyes, a deep love replacing the pain and regret that had been there earlier. "I'm yours for all eternity, my love! For all eternity!"

Kaitlyn smiled. It wasn't the way she wished it was, but her friends were back together at last.

[hoffkk]

Ta-Da!

A Deception Drabble

(Kaymeron + the team)

Requested by: @castledisneyfan and Anonymous

Requests:

1. Would you be willing to right angst-y fluff for Kaymeron with the prompt, "Don't die on me. Please." And please don't kill one of them off!

2. Would you be willing to write a Kaymeron one-shot where Kay almost dies giving birth to the twins? (Also, I don't know about you but I see the twins as being a boy and a girl set)

Summary: Kay goes into labor and takes a turn for the worse.  Cameron must rely on the magic of family and love to get through it and stay strong.

***************

“Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!” Kay yelled in pain as she lay in the hospital bed squeezing Cameron’s hand. She had been having contractions for hours, and it showed. Her hair was in a messy bun that was falling out in random places, making it messy in a non-cute way. Not to mention her bangs were stuck to her forehead in a layer of sweat. Kay’s eyes were also tired and puffy from all the emotions coursing through her. She was happy to be becoming a mother, sad that her pregnancy was coming to a close, annoyed at how much pain she was in, and both glad and angry that Cameron Black did this to her.

“Ow, ow, ow!” Cameron winced. “My hand!” Kay cut him a wicked glance that said ‘Are you kidding me?’ and he quickly shut up after adding, “Right. Nevermind.” With that, another contraction came along with more yelling and grunts of pain from both.

“Good job, Kayby. You got this. The babies are almost here.”  He smiled as he always did when he said the word baby in the plural form. Cameron still couldn’t believe they were having twins. He remembered the day the nurse told them the news. They went in to find the gender but came out with so much more. It was crazy. He hadn’t known whether to laugh or cry, so naturally he did both. At the end of the day though, something about having twins just felt right and oddly perfect.  And now it was finally happening. The contractions were minutes apart, so Cameron knew it wouldn’t be long now.

Kay stared at her husband for a long moment then finally whispered, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He replied, kissing her once on the forehead then on the lips.

Too soon the sweet moment was interrupted by yet another contraction. As this one came to an end, the doctor entered the room.

“Sounds like we are getting close.” Dr. Singh said with a smile as she put on her gloves. “Let’s have a look.”  Sitting on the stool at the end of the bed, the doctor began to examine Kay. “Ten centimeters.” She noted. “It’s pushing time.”

After a couple nurses came into help, they did just that. “All right... push!” Dr. Singh commanded.

With a loud grunt, Kay squeezed Cameron’s hand until it turned purple and pushed with all she had. Once. Twice. Thee times.

“Hold on. Stop pushing.” The doctor said calmly yet forcefully.

It was quiet a moment. Not too long but long enough for Cameron and Kay to exchange a worried look and for Cam to ask, “Is everything okay.”

“Everything is fine.” The doctor assured. “However, baby number one is in breech position.  Now, normally I could go in and try to rotate the baby by hand, but with another baby in there, I think it would be safer for everyone involved if we did a c-section.”

Standing up, the doctor rattled off some directions for the nurses as she made her way out of the room. Kay rubbed her stomach and looked to Cameron who was doing his own version of Lamaze breathing.

“Hey, look at me. ” She said softly, catching his attention. As his eyes bore into hers, she told him confidently, “A c-section is a common method of delivery. Everything is going to be fine.”

Cameron nodded and kissed their intertwined hands, wanting to believe her. However, he had a pit in his stomach that was convincing him otherwise.

********

Fifteen minutes later, they were in a new  room with more doctors and nurses and machines. Cameron was dressed in scrubs this time with a matching cap. Kay was in her hospital gown but also wore a special cap to keep her hair out of the way as she was attached to several machines given that this was a surgical procedure. In the same positions as before, they held hands tightly and let the doc do her thing.

A few moments later, Dr. Singh’s voice rang out, “Here is baby number one... It’s a girl!”

“A girl! We have a daughter!” Cam beamed then kissed his wife in excitement.

“She’s beautiful.” Kay added as she watched the nurse take her baby girl across the room to clean her up.

“Just like her mama.” Cam nodded.

Exactly three minutes later, the doctor cheered, “Baby number two has arrived! Mr. and Mrs. Black... say hello to your son.”

“A son!” Cameron exclaimed.

“Our son.” Kay grinned tiredly as her eyelids grew heavy.

“We have a daughter AND a son, Kay!” He smiled proudly as he watched the nurse take his baby boy from the doctor then turned to his wife. Her eyes were closed like she was sleeping and her head rolled slightly to the side. Immediately feeling like something was off he queries, “Kay?” Unfortunately the only response was the sudden chaotic beeping of the machines she was attached to. “KAY!” He found himself shouting. “Wake up, Kay!”

Cameron waited for a response as he shook her lightly by the shoulder. Still nothing. At least not from her. The doctor and nurses were pretty chatty though, sharing information about the patient’s current state and how to treat her. They used terms he wasn’t too familiar with, so he wasn’t 100% sure about what was going on. All he knew was that she was bleeding too much, which obviously wasn’t a good thing.

“Come on, Kay.” Cameron begged. “Don’t die on me. Please.” Cupping her face with his hands he cooed softly. “Our kids need you. I need you.”

He wanted to say or do more but the nurse was ordered to remove him from the room so the doctor could focus and have more room to work and breathe. Cameron understood, but he didn’t like it. He hated being helpless. He couldn’t stand sitting in the hall and doing nothing while his wife was potentially dying in the next room. So, instead, he paced and prayed to any and every higher power he could think of. After a few minutes, his mind wandered to why. Why was this happening? Why couldn’t he have a happy life with a happy family.... just this once? Becoming enraged at his thoughts as well as the helplessness, Cameron balled up his blue cap that was now in his hands and threw it violently down the hall before swinging a fist in the other direction and punching the wall. He made a sizable dent in the drywall but didn’t care in the least.

“Whoa! Cam! What’s going on?” A familiar voice called out.

Turning to his left, Cameron saw his twin brother, Jonathan, coming toward him with a nurse in tow.  The elderly woman was chastising him. Something about how he wasn’t permitted to be back here. She must have gone to the waiting room to give the gang an update and worried him. Or maybe his twin sense had kicked in and alerted him that something was wrong. Either way, Cameron was grateful to see him.

Now standing in front of his brother, Jonathan placed a hand on each of Cam’s shoulders and repeated, “Cam! Are the twins okay?”

“The babies are fine.” He managed to get out clearly, but Cameron’s voice began to waiver as he tried to explain about his wife. “It’s Kay... sh-she’s bleeding too much. The machines were g-going crazy. I’m so scared Johnny.”  Cam finished in a whisper as tears streaked down his face.

Jonathan immediately pulled his brother in for a hug, squeezing him tightly with everything he had.

That’s when Cameron Black officially broke. Holding on to his big brother for dear life and sobbing uncontrollably into his shoulder, he felt himself grow weak with sorrow. After a long moment, he finally whispered, “She can’t die, Johnny. I need her.”

At that, Jonathan quickly pulled his brother back to look him in the eyes and said adamantly, “Hey, don’t talk like that!  Everything is going to be all right, you hear me?”

“You don’t know that.” Cam tossed back dejectedly.

“Actually, I do.” Johnny assured. “In case you haven’t noticed, your wife is kind of a badass. She is literally the strongest person I know, putting criminals away for a living, growing two little humans inside of her, not to mention putting up with you on a daily basis.” At that, Cameron offered the smallest of smiles. His brother took that as a positive sign and kept going. “What I’m saying is, Kay has never given up on anything or anyone before, and I doubt she’s about to start now. So, believe in her.... just like she’s always believed in you.”

Cameron nodded, “Yeah, okay.” Then added with a sniff. “Thanks, Johnny.”

He nodded in return, then after a moment, he replied, “C’mon.” and walked his brother to a nearby chair so he could sit down.

Leaning coolly against the wall beside his brother, Johnny asked, “So do I have nieces or nephews?”

“Both.” Cam grinned, revealing his right dimple.

Jonathan proceeded to probe more about the babies, including what their names and who their god parents were. He was genuinely curious and wanted to distract his brother from thinking the worst. So, really it was a win-win. However, Cameron refused to divulge any information, saying he had to wait and see.

After that, they proceeded to chat aimlessly to pass the time. They sat in the hall talking for what seemed like forever until Dr. Singh came out of the room with an unreadable expression. Cameron shot out of his chair, more than ready to hear an update on his wife.

Sighing, she said, “Obviously, there were some complications with the delivery. The placenta wasn’t delivered properly with the babies, causing a hemorrhage. However, we were able to act fast and stop the bleeding. Kay is going to need a lot of rest, but she’ll be just fine.” Dr. Singh finished with a smile.

Jonathan sighed in relief as Cam flung his arms around the doctor and said, “Thank you, Doc.”

“Would you like to go see her?” She offered.

“Yes!” Cameron answered hurriedly then looked to Johnny.

“I’ll give the guys an update. Go be with your family.” Jonathan smiled as he briefly clasped his brother on the shoulder.

Cam clasped him back, giving him a small smile before following behind the doctor and returning to Kay. As he did, a million things ran through his mind.

One of them being that he hoped his twins would one day be as close as he and Jonathan were.

*******

It’s amazing how quickly things can change. One minute, you’re having the worst day of your life, and the next, you’re on cloud nine. That’s how Kay felt today. Going through labor and almost dying was terrifying, but now, sitting in the hospital bed and holding her new born son, she felt euphoric, like nothing could ever top this feeling or this moment. Ever.

Cam stood to her right, gently rocking their baby girl back and forth in his arms. He smiled as he hummed a soft tune and adjusted the pink blanket tightly around her. Not too tight though... of that he was careful. He did just as the nurse showed him earlier.

The twins were born early this morning. It was now a quarter after six. After a good day’s rest, Kay was... well honestly she was still exhausted. However, when the nurse checked in a moment ago and asked if she was up for visitors, she couldn’t say no. No doubt the gang was waiting excitedly and definitely impatiently to meet their newest members. Kay could only imagine what kind of scene they were making out there in the waiting room. She didn’t have to imagine long though.

“Gunter, what the hell!?” Jordan spat as he stumbled through the door.

“You were taking too long. I was helping.” Gunter smirked. “And watch your mouth. There’s tiny ears present!”

“Both of you hush or you’ll wake the... babies!” Dina squeeled in delight as her eyes danced between the twins in front of her. Quickly, she darted to Kay’s side to coo at the infant in her arms.

Mike chuckled as he followed behind her.  Jonathan did the same, nodding for Jordan and Gunter to come with him toward Cam.

“Congrats, you guys.” Announced Johnny.

“Mom ‘n’ pop in the hizhouse!” Jordan cheered dorkily.

Gunter responded with a slap to the back of the head, saying “Don’t ever do that again.”

“Seriously, guys.” Mike interrupted. “We’re all really happy for you.”

“Thanks.” The couple replied in unison.

“And were glad everyone is healthily.” Dina noted pointedly at Kay. “You gave us quite the scare, young lady.”

“Well, I think I have a way to make it up to you.” Kay smiled, holding her son out to her friend. As Dina eagerly scooped him up, Kay continued, “Meet Destan Asher Black. Your godson, if you and Mike accept.”

“What!? Of course we do! Oh, my precious boy!” Dina blurted in excitement.

More calmly, Mike chimed in with a grin, “We’d be honored.”

“And Johnny,” Cameron interjected. “We have decided that we want you to be the godfather of our first born, Miss Tessa Adalyn Black.  Meet your uncle, Tess.” Cameron whispered the latter softly to his daughter as he handed her over to his brother.

Johnny was a little stiff at first, causing her to fuss and Cam to laugh.

“Just relax.” Cameron told him.

“Yeah,” Jordan agreed. “They can smell fear.”

Jonathan ignored his friend’s teasing and took a deep breath. As he began to relax, so did Tessa... Tess? Tessie. He decided. She was definitely a Tessie.

“Hey there,Tessie. Listen, I’m not exactly the greatest role model, but I promise I will be the best uncle ever... and apparently godfather. You okay with me being your godfather?” Johnny spoke softly as he doted over his niece.

Tessie let out a teeny weeny burp then smiled, causing all the adults to erupt in quiet laughter.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” He grinned.

“So will I.” Cam nodded then looked to Dina. “D, we were hopping you wouldn’t mind pulling double duty in the godmother department.”

“Are you kidding? I’d be delighted!” She beamed. “These two already have a special place in my heart. My precious Destan Asher and sweet Tessa Adalyn.” She cooed to the twins.

Just then, something clicked inside Johnny’s head. “Wait... you said Tessie was born first right?”

“Yep, by a good three minutes.” Cam answered.

“So, it’s actually Tessa Adalyn and Destan Asher.” Jonathan corrected Dina’s former statement.

“Yeah, I suppose so.” Kay replied skeptically, wondering where this line of questioning was going.

“What’s your point?” Dina queried.

Johnny smirked, “You named your kids Tessa Adalyn and Destan Asher... as in T.A. and D.A. ...as in...”

“Ta-da!” Cameron finished with a flourish.

The room was instantly filled with an assortment of smiles, giggles, eye rolls, and head shakes as this little revelation sank in.

Kay was the first to speak as she fell back against her pillow and said, “You gotta be kidding me. How did I miss that one?!”

“Pregnancy brain?” Jordan tossed out. When he was met with a bunch of curious looks, he went on. “What? It’s a thing. Scientifically speaking, women tend to forget things and loose focus when their preggers.”

“Actually,” Gunter challenged. “Some women are known to get sharper instincts when pregnant in preparation for taking care of their young.”

“I don’t know about Kay’s mental state,” Dina responded. “But her body has been quiet distracting lately, growing two little humans and all.  I’d say that’s a valid excuse.”

“Don’t forget, Cameron is a master of deception.” Mike added, slightly geeking out over the ‘trick’ his friend had just revealed.

“Not to mention, conception.” Jordan quipped, pointing between the newborns. “Am I right?”

“Jordan, sweetie...” Dina began sweetly. “It wasn’t funny the first time when we found out about the pregnancy, and it’s not funny now. K? Okay.”

“Ooh, wait, what’s that, Tessie?” Johnny asked the small child in his arms. “Yes, you are right. Uncle Jordan did just get burned! High five!” He teased, picking up his niece’s tiny hand and tapping it to his own and then to Gunter’s.

“Well, if Tessa is gonna be mean, then I’m gonna go over here and hold Destan instead.” Jordan tossed back, slightly embarrassed but not at all mad.

After that, the gang chatted aimlessly as they played pass the babies. By the time  they all got a chance to hold each one, a nurse came in to check things out.The same elderly woman from the hallway that chastised Jonathan was now checking on Kay’s chart and IV. As she finished, she gave a practiced smile and told them, “Visiting hours are over. Time to give the happy family some rest.”

Minutes later, all the goodbyes had been said and everyone was cleared out.  Cameron, who was now holding their son, crawled into the bed with Kay, who was cradling their daughter. As they rocked their children to sleep, Cam whispered, “Thank you.”

“For what?” Kay questioned as she turned to look him in the eyes.

“For giving me all of this.” He replied, gesturing around them. “I never thought any of this was possible, that I could be married or have kids or be this happy... until I met you.”

Kay smiled and responded, “You know, I never thought romance or a family was in the cards for me... until you came a long and shuffled the deck. So, thank you for not giving up on me... and for not letting me give up on myself.  I love you, Cameron Black.”

“I love you too, Mrs. Daniels-Black.” He retorted sweetly, then, after exchanging the dopiest, love struck looks, they exchanged a quick, soft, yet very passionate kiss.

After the kiss, they lingered a moment with their foreheads pressed together and then Kay adjusted herself so her head rested on her husband’s shoulder like a pillow. Still embracing their children, they sat together in the peace and quiet and enjoyed the rest of their evening together as a family.

Family.

Cam had heard that word several times today and couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his face each time.

It was there again now.

As of today, he officially had a family of his own, and he couldn’t wait to love and cherish it and be the best dad he could be.

The Amazing Cameron Black: Man. Magician. Brother. Husband.

And now, father.

[tricksters-captain]

Negan imagines - The Blame Part 17

AN: I love this chapter. I hope you do too. 

Catch up here: (Part 1)(Part 2)(Part 3)(Part 4)(Part 5)(Part 6)(Part 7)(Part 8)(Part 9)(Part 10)(Part 11)(Part 12)(Part 13)(Part 14)(Part 15)(Part 16)

Overall Summary: You’re the one who accidentally led the Saviours to the group cause Negan has an interest in you. Rick’s daughter.

In this chapter: You’re stuck with Negan and Gabe, will the truth come out?

Pairing: Negan x reader, Father!Rick x Daughter!Reader

Word count: 3,990

Warnings: Strong language and violence, smut, shower-sex. 

You were wrapping your arm with ripped t-shirt when you heard the door open and close again, emerging you in darkness. 

“I hope you got your shittin’ pants on.” Negan smiled as he had saw who entered. 

“What?” His voice was instantly recognisable to you and you stopped wrapping your arm to look over at the figure. 

“Your shittin’ pants, I hope you’re wearing them right now ‘cause you are about to shit your pants.” Negan rose and walked towards Gabriel. 

You could sense what was about to happen and as soon as Negan lunged towards Gabriel, tackling him to the ground to strip him of his weapons, you jumped to your feet. 

“Well, that's handy.” You heard Negan say as he examined a gun that you couldn’t see from where you were stood. “This one still has a full clip.”

“There wasn't any point in firing it. I didn't have enough.” Gabriel explained, glowering past Negan’s head. 

“Yeah, but you could've gone down fighting, you big baby.” You watched Negan aim the gun at Gabriel’s head before chuckling wickedly. “I'm just pulling your dick, breakin' your balls a little bit. You done good. Smart play.” Negan stood, with a struggle, and held out his hand. “Let's get you properly on your ass.”

Gabriel took it with hesitation and Negan helped him sit up before Negan took a seat on the floor on the opposite wall. You joined him on the floor, avoiding Gabriel’s eyes. 

“Shhhh.” Negan hushed the whole room, bringing his leather clad finger to his smirk. 

And so you sat in silence. 

You had been in the caravan long enough to doze off with your head on Negan’s lap but you started to stir when you heard voices.

“Your friend Rick is an asshole.” Negan told Gabriel, his hand slowly stroking through your hair as he thought you were asleep. 

“You're an asshole.” Gabriel responded, looking over at the older man. 

“Yeah. I am.” Negan laughed at that, “But he's gonna get people killed.” 

“By you.” Gabriel retaliated, defending Rick as you couldn’t. 

“See, I killed the widow's husband and the ginger. But I didn't get them killed. That was your boy Rick. Big difference.” Negan argued with the priest, “You know, I saw you stop for that Gregory idiot. You were there. You saw the whole thing. You heard his little speech. Why would you stop for that bearded prick?” 

“What I fear is a fruitless death.” Gabriel admitted, turning his face away from Negan’s look of amusement. 

“Jesus Christ. You got to be kiddin' me. He split on your creepy little ass. The point of your life would be saving that dickhead? That wouldn't be it.” Negan held the smile on his face which he could tell was agitating the priest. 

“There had to be some reason I did what I did.” Gabriel sighed, “Maybe this is the reason.”

“What?” Negan frowned, 

 “I think I'm here to take your confession.” Gabriel admitted. The words sent a coolness down your spine and you tried not to move under Negan’s now still hand. 

“We can wait it out a little bit, see if my people can figure something out. One thing that is sure as ass if my people think I'm dead a lot of folks are gonna die in there.” Negan chose to ignore Gabriel’s remark and focus on something else. 

“Why?” Gabriel asked, 

“Listen to me. I don't have shit to confess.” Negan paused for a moment. “Let me ask you something. Why'd you become a priest?” 

“I love God, and I love people. I wanted to bring them together. To help people through their difficult times. To help them through their weaknesses.” Gabriel said very honestly, 

“Well, look at that. That's my thing. I like to help people through their weaknesses, too. Been doing it one way or another my whole life.” Negan pointed his index finger at the man and Gabriel just furrowed his eyebrows, immediately questioning him back. 

“How do you help people?”

“You want to know why people are gonna start dying in there? Because I'm not there to stop it.” Negan spoke over the man, looking towards the door and dropping his hand. 

There was a brief silence where all you could hear was the scratching and groaning from outside and you were pretty sure your heartbeat was loud enough to hear also, before Negan started to whistle his saviours signal. 

“So right now, let's deal with the other part. Someone in here made everything out there happen. We're having our little crisis-management meeting about the rebellion in Alexandria, us three outpost heads, and that's when they pile this crap on us? That's when they cut us off? Come on. They knows all and sees all. Sometimes it doesn't take a gun. The right kind of rat can kill plenty of people with just some talk.” Gavin spoke up, bringing the real issue to the table that there was in fact a rat in their midst. 

“But it's not gonna be us, and it doesn't have to be the workers.” Dwight argued, 

“You’re right, it’s not us because it’s Negan’s new bitch that obviously ratted us out. She is Rick’s daughter after all.” Regina leant forward, not holding herself back at all. 

“It wasn’t (y/n). Negan’s had eyes on her at all times since she first arrived here and you know that.” Dwight challenged Regina with his glare. 

“Dwight, you got to face reality here.” Simon called out. 

“No, Simon, (Y/n) had nothing to do with it and all of you know that deep down. Now I say we keep what's ours, and we don't give up a damn thing. We get out. And I don't want to hear backbiting or pissing or moaning from you two. You got a problem with that, come at me.  Hmm? You can't lead the Saviors out of here, I will.” Dwight fought back, taking control of the situation.

“Yes, my boy. Yes! And we're gonna find that subhuman coward that did this to us, and we're gonna kill him very slowly in front of everyone here over the course of a few very long days. “ Simon sighed, hovering over Dwight. “Good meeting, people. Now let's make today the best today it can be.” 

“You helped the weak before this?” Gabriel questions, hanging onto what Negan had said a few moments earlier.

“Kids.You don't show them the way, well, they turn out like garbage. Little assholes become great big ones, so you show them the way.” Negan began to explain, “Adults, they need it, too. The government, laws, religion, guilt. People are weak.” 

“Everyone?” Gabriel seemed surprised that Negan was telling him all of this but he figured it was one step closer to confession. 

“Everyone.” Negan confirmed. 

“You're weak. Killing the innocent.” Gabriel brought his hands into his lap, lifting his head to Negan with a newfound confidence. 

“Right and goddamn wrong. I'm weak, but me ‘killing the innocent’? That ain't why, Gabey.” Negan stopped as the groaning and growling grew louder, “We'll wait a little bit longer, see if my people can pull it together.” Negan stood to move away from the growling and gently lifted your head before placing it down so you remained asleep. You fidgeted in your ‘sleep’ so that your back was to the men so that you didn’t have to try so hard to keep your eyes closed. 

“Why are you weak?” Gabriel questioned, 

“That's the wrong question. It is how I am weak.” Negan leant against the opposite wall, watching your peaceful sleeping form. “You see, the thing is, I am also strong. Everyone is a mix. You can use your weaknesses to drive your strength, and obviously, I am strong as shit. I took this place, and it was a damn free-for-all –– a loose confederation of assholes, an army made up of gangs of animals, and I brought it all together. The last guy that was in charge, he wasn't in charge of shit. He allowed people to be weak. I don't. I make them strong, which makes this world strong. You're gonna see, Gabey. See, I'm gonna make you my new special project.” Negan drew his eyes from you to face the priest with a cunning smile on his lips. The next question that left Gabriel’s mouth took Negan back for a split-second. 

“Is she one of your projects?” Gabriel asked, gesturing to you with a nod. 

“Nah, that sweet piece of ass is strong as shit! But unfortunately she’s weak because of dear ol’daddy Rick. Hell, she’s the first person I’ve met since this whole goddamn mess started that’s damn near perfection.” Negan said all this without even thinking twice, he truly adored you. “But don’t you worry, Gabey. We’re gonna make you nice and strong, too. We're gonna find your special purpose. Hell yes, we are.” 

“I'm strong. I've killed. I was at the Satellite Station. I was a part of that.” Gabriel tried to defend himself. 

“Oh. Then you killed my people while they were sleeping. Well, look at you, swinging your dick. Sure, Gabe. That's strong. But that's not what I'm talking about.” Negan slowly approached Gabriel, lingering over him. 

“Tell me how you're weak. We might be dead soon. You may be dead. Wouldn't you want to confess before all that happens? Wouldn't you want absolution before that? Forgiveness? Costs you nothing more than saying the truth aloud. You don't think you have anything to confess? People you've killed?” Gabriel could see through the darkness that Negan was being affected at the thought of his sins. Or, his one true sin. 

“I haven't killed anyone that didn't need it.” Negan defended himself. 

“The workers you treat like slaves?” Gabriel rose his eyebrows, suggesting another. 

“It's an economy. Some people win, some people lose, but no one's a slave, no one's going hungry, and you couldn't say that before all this.” Negan argued, defending himself once again with his excuses. 

“Carl told us about your wives. The women you pressure into marrying you?” Gabriel brought up a touchy subject on both of yours and Negan’s front. 

“Every one of those ladies made a choice.” Negan said through tight teeth, 

“(Y/n) was pressured into marrying you. However, I can admit the way she looks at you is beyond a curiosity, you’re her entire world, she’d do anything for you even if it meant betraying her father.” Gabriel stated, and it pained your chest to think that it was true. “ Was there a first? One before all of this? A wife you promised to have and to hold, forsaking all others? One you told that lie to?” 

“Lucille, give me strength.” Negan whispers just before he felt Gabriel’s hand grasp hold of the gun that Negan had tucked in his pants. Negan shoved Gabriel far away from him and Gabriel retreated behind another door, taking cover in another room. 

You lurched upwards due to the behaviour and tucked yourself in a corner to scramble away from the claws of the dead that had managed to break through the wood of the caravan. 

“All right, Gabe! No one's coming for us. You took your shot –– shots. It's time to go.” Negan yelled through the closed door. You rose to your feet and neared the door, yourself, directly opposite the man. “We have Lucille to help us get to the Sanctuary. We have that gun. We should use it. Most importantly, Gabriel, we have each other. People are a resource. We make it inside, we live. We can take a chance, we can ‘gut up’, play dead ones across the courtyard. Or... Or I can just kill you, but that is not what I want. What I want is for you to work with me. That is all I ever want.” Negan began to spill as he dragged a dead walker across the room; you watched him do so with your ear close to the door so that you could hear Gabe’s heavy breaths. 

“I've killed before, but that's not my greatest sin.” Gabriel splutters out. “I locked my congregation out of my church when this all just started. I listened to them die as I cowered. I failed them. I failed God. And every day, I work to lessen that failure, to be of service and purpose. Now I offer you the assurance of a pardon, penance, and absolution. I will go with you. I will show you that working together as equals is the only true way to grace, to a future. I will do this if you confess.” Gabriel offered a deal. 

”Negan.” You gave him the ‘we don’t need him’ look but in reality you knew that you needed Gabriel’s gun and Negan would want all the extra protection for you as possible even if you could handle yourself. 

“Jesus, Gabe. What you did, that is some horrible, cowardly, spineless shit. But I guess that's what a confession's supposed to be, right?” Negan averted his eyes from your own but you held your eyes on his face with such intent as he carefully opened his mouth to speak again, “My first wife was a real wife. Till death did us part. It was before this. I lied to her, I screwed around on her. And she was sick. And when she went...When she went, it was during this. I couldn't put her down. That is how I was weak. That is what I will confess.” Negan finally looked at you and you could see the glassiness of tears. “Because, yeah, maybe we do bite the big one here.”

You leaned forward, pushing up onto your tiptoes and gently kissed the older man. His scuff scratching your face whilst you held onto his neck.

The door opened and you pulled away. “You're forgiven.” Gabriel informed Negan. 

Negan greeted Gabriel with his fist before thanking him rather insincerely. 

“Thanks. You can keep your gun.” Negan opened up the dead and you knew immediately what you were going to have to do to get out of there. “Sucks but it looks like we got to risk eating it by eating it.” 

“I don't understand.” Gabriel openly said, 

“You ever done this trick with the guts before?” Negan’s question was directed to the both of you. 

“Too many times to count.” You liked to think you were immune to the smell of walking dead but when it was all up over you, it really made you feel nauseous.  

“These are putrid, decaying organs, dead blood, piss, and shit that have been cooking all day in the Virginian sun. None of your people ever gotten sick from this?” Negan asked, 

“We're from Georgia.” Gabriel answered that. 

“Look at you lucky shits.” Negan chuckled, starting to cover himself in the guts. 

You did the same. 

“You ready?” Negan placed his hand on the side of your neck, looking down at you. You nodded, unable to open your mouth due to the vile smell. 

“Let’s make some noise.” Negan started hitting the metal door, Gabriel starting yelling and you kicked the wooden floor beneath you. 

The noise attracted most of the walkers inside as you opened the door and tried slipping out past them.

“Hold onto me.” Negan said lowly, gripping hold of your hand as you trailed behind him. 

You only had a piece of broken metal as a weapon whilst Negan wielded Lucille and Gabriel had his gun so you felt more than underprepared for this trek. 

You had almost made it when Gabriel tripped and attracted the attention of the walkers, and that’s when you had to fight your way through instead of using stealth.

With a couple close calls, you managed to get inside but inside the lower floor was abandoned and the whole area was eerily quiet. 

Everyone seemed to have retreated upstairs, a place that even you knew the workers weren’t authorised to be. 

As you neared where the noise seemed to be coming from, you could hear yells and then several gun shots which didn’t phase you. 

Negan still had hold of your hand, he had let go during the chaos outside to fight off the walkers but as soon as you made it into the building, he took it and hadn’t let go since. 

His whistle rang through the halls as you rounded the corner and all of the saviours fell to their knees. 

“Oh, Regina. Now, why'd you have to go and do that?” Negan referred to the dead man on the floor to which Regina had killed a few minutes earlier. “I am guessing that a lot of you fine folks thought I was dead, chewed up, never to be crapped out again. Well, here's a little refresher on who the hell I am. I wear a leather jacket, I have Lucille, and my nutsack is made of steel. I am not dying until I am damn good and ready. Now, if you'll all excuse me, I am in deep need of a sandwich, a shower, and some of that, uh, wilting lion orchid deep-tissue shit that Frankie learned in San Francisco. Hell, I might do it all at once. But after that, we have some serious business to attend to. Like talking to my right-hand man.” Negan aimed the end of Lucille directly at Simon.  “You see, we got to figure out how all this could've happened like it happened. And then Well, and then we're gonna get back doing what we have always done. We will save people.” 

“Thank you, Negan. Thank God for you!” A woman cried out and you had to resist shaking your head when Negan looked back at Gabriel and smirked widely. 

“And that is why I am here. Gentlemen, gently take him to number 2. Gently.” Negan commanded before ushering you towards your bedroom.

You stood underneath the shower head, letting the water cascade over you. Your arms wrapped around yourself and your eyes squeezed shut. 

You had only been in there a few minutes before you felt Negan’s large presence behind you. 

He ran his hands over your shoulders and down your arms, releasing them from their fold as you leant back into his touch. 

Negan kissed your head and you turned around to face him. 

“Negan?” You asked, your voice sounding much smaller than you thought. 

“Yes, baby?” Negan rested his hands on your hips but you didn’t react. 

“About what you said earlier. About your wife.” You saw Negan visibly tense as he inhaled deeply, awaiting your next words. “I want to be real. I want to be real for you.” You admitted, 

Negan waited a short moment before answering. He studied your face and then gently brushed the water droplets from your eyelashes. 

“God, I love you.” Negan said it softly almost like a sigh, but as soon as he said it, you felt your heart stop. Your lungs pause and your whole self froze. 

You snapped out of the trance quickly and wrapped your arms around Negan, kissing him hungrily. 

Negan backed you up against the tiled wall and his hand greedily grasped hold of one of your breasts. You gasped into his mouth as his other hand cupped between your legs and you let your head loll back against the wall. 

Negan grew hard at the sight and pressed his large body against yours, picking you up and hitching your legs upon his waist. 

One of your hands reached up and held onto the metal pole that held up the shower curtain whilst your other dug into Negan’s shoulder. 

Negan’s lips attacked along your collar bones and the scruff on his face and neck caused goosebumps along your skin and your nipples to erect. 

“Negan.” You breathed out, but you refused to beg at this early stage. 

However, for once, Negan didn’t want you to beg. 

He filled you and you squeezed your eyes shut as he gave you barely any time to adjust to his size. 

Your hand switched from his shoulder to pull on the back of his back which rose a chuckle from within the man. 

He started to rock his hips as the water fell on the both of you, picking up the pace when he felt you trying to do just that. 

You were just out from under the water so your skin started to cool but Negan’s breath and body burned against you. 

As his thrusts made him wobble on the slippy surface of the shower, Negan pulled you tight against him and stepped out of the shower. Placing you on the counter top where the sink sat and resumed his fucking. 

You held onto him with a fierce grip and he chuckled at that, only tempting him to hit you harder and faster to bring you to a climax. 

You nipped on his collarbone as you felt yourself edge closer and closer. Your soaked hair covered your face as you squeezed your eyes shut in bliss. 

Your white knuckles and throbbing core brought Negan to his own orgasm and you two stood there, panting as you rested against each other. 

You laughed quietly against the bare man and he leant back, using his fingers to move your hair from your face. Your smile as you bit down on your lower lip made him feel less shitty about revealing his past to you in the way he did and then he helped you down and slapped your ass as you reached for a towel. 

Negan had to attend a meeting now that you all were trapped in the sanctuary surrounded by the dead and you no longer wanted to sit around moping like a child. You weren’t going to be the damsel stuck in a tower. 

To your surprise, after the steamy shower, Negan didn’t force you into your dress. You were allowed some skinny jeans and one of his shirts and you were suddenly feeling more like yourself. 

“I gotta admit, you may have looked Mr and Mrs. Smith kinda hot with a little black dress and your guns but damn does this take me back.”  Negan was referring to the first time he met you, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel better in this get up. 

Negan lead you to the usual meeting room and you ignored the eyes burning into your back from 

Negan had you on his lap and he sure as hell weren’t letting go. 

“Good news is, I figured out where that asshole's gun came from.” Laura, one o the saviour women, tossed the bag down on the table in front of Negan. 

“And the bad news?” Negan asked, 

“They're ours.” Gary informed Negan. “Stolen from the armoury. A worker couldn't have gotten this many guns without us knowing about it.” 

“They couldn't have got one.” Laura argued. 

“No, one of our own did this –– is doing this, right now.” Simon looked as pissed off as Negan felt. 

“Tell me how we find him, Simon.” Negan asked. 

"We find when the munitions went missing. Through that, we get an idea of the how, which hopefully leads us right to who. But we start with when.” Simon explained. Negan smirked just ever so slightly and sat up, squeezing you with his arm as he did. 

“Well, you better get on it then.” Negan nudged you a little, silently asking you to stand so Negan could and then the rest of the room followed. Exiting when asked. 

“Yo. Dr. Smartypants.” Negan called back Eugene, and you contemplated staying but instead squeezed Negan’s hand and left Negan to it. 

You were going to have to cooperate from now on. Times are gonna be tough. You were gonna have to be tougher. 

Part 18

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[theodoredimas]

The Stars Above - 2/2

Honestly guys, just send help. This ship has ruined me. *laughter turns to sobs*

Tagging you at your request dear @whovianlunatic

Kara shook her head repeatedly, running her fingers through Mon-El’s hair, as she willed for him to breath again. To come back to her. Her fingers tightened in his hair as another sob was ripped from her chest. She had lost so much already. Too much. She couldn’t lose him. She just couldn’t. She felt her sister’s hand squeeze her shoulder twice before whispering, “Kara.”

Shaking her head again, Kara grasped for a solution. “We can save him. We can. He didn’t know he would…he didn’t know. It’s not fair. We have to save him.”

Alex felt her own tears threaten to fall. Seeing her sister in so much pain and seeing Mon-El sacrifice his life for Kara, it was overwhelming. Taking in a shuddering breath, Alex told Kara heartbrokenly, “He knew.”

Kara looked at her sister then, her cheeks wet with her tears as another half sob of pain left her. “What?”

Alex ran her hand through her sister’s hair as she said, “He knew about the bullets. It’s how we found out they were made with kryptonite. He knew.”

Kara’s eyes became unfocused as she tried to comprehend what Alex was telling her. “No. That’s not true. If he knew, why would he…Why?”

Alex wiped at Kara’s tears as she finally saw understanding cross her face and with it the soul crushing reality of what it meant. “Kara.”

Shaking her head, Kara covered her mouth with a hand as she looked at her sister. He died for her. In place of her. His words finally making sense. The world needed her, it didn’t need him. He knew that he would die and he still did it because he didn’t think his life meant enough. That her life was more important. “Alex.”

Drawing her into a hug, Alex held her tightly as she tried to soothe her. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Kara sobbed heartbrokenly into her sister’s shoulder as everything came crashing down. Mon-El had finally done everything right, everything she taught him and it ended with his death. He had finally become the hero she knew he was and he died for it. For her. He saw that with his death he could save Kara which in turn would save the greater good. He thought his death was a sacrifice worth taking. She didn’t know how she could live with that knowledge.

J’onn knelt down next to the two sisters as he spoke softly in Kryptonian, “He has not left you, even in the face of death.” Looking toward the ceiling and where he knew the stars shined brilliantly above them, he spoke for the first time in many years the Daxamite language, reciting a Daxamite prayer. “A prince…a king among mortal man, willing to give his life for his people. There is no greater honor. His sacrifice will not be forgotten, nor the valor he has shown this day. May the stars above guide him on his journey home, the gods welcoming him in a warm embrace as he awaits the night when we too shall join him.”

Kara grasped his hand as another sob wracked her body. She had understood everything he said, the Kryptonian and Daxamite language being very similar. J’onn leaned into her touch, his own forehead resting against the back of her head. The three of them, mourning together the loss of a a true hero.

The moment was broken at the sound of commotion at the door of the room. Two DEO agents came in, dragging a man as he shouted for them to let him go. Alex felt her chest tighten even more when her eyes landed on her father. “Dad?”

Jeremiah looked up at his daughter’s voice, his own eyes filling with tears at the sight of her. “Sweetheart.” Moving forward, the agents let him go at J’onn’s nod, Jeremiah came down to his knees and hugged Alex and Kara tightly. Pulling away, he cupped Alex’s cheek. “It’s so good to see you. Both of you.” As he turned to look at Kara, he saw Mon-El behind her. His heart stuttered in his chest. He remembered when Cadmus had held the young alien captive for days before Kara showed up. How they had experimented with him to find his weaknesses. He knew only one thing could do this to the man. “What happened?”

Kara swallowed thickly as her eyes slid shut. “He sacrificed himself to save me.”

Jeremiah looked down at his adopted daughter and saw the anguish plain on her face. Cupping her cheek he told her, “I can save him.”

Kara’s eyes shot open, hope swelling in her heart until it overflowed. “You can?”

Nodding, he said, “I can.” Looking toward J’onn, Jeremiah asked, “Can you help me?” J’onn nodded once before Jeremiah instructed him to help him bring Mon-El into another room. Kara followed closely behind with Alex right next to her as the entered a room much like the one Kara was in when Cadmus took her blood. They watched as Jeremiah with J’onn’s helped strap Mon-El to the table before Jeremiah grabbed a long pair of forceps and started to dig out each bullet one by one. Kara grimaced in pain as each bullet was revealed, the kryptonite even in those small amounts affecting her.

Alex grabbed Kara’s arm, telling her she should wait outside where the kryptonite couldn’t affect her. Shaking her head, Kara spoke softly, “No, I’m not leaving him.” Alex nodded once before she intertwined their fingers, a show of support in Kara’s greatest time of need. Alex didn’t know what would happen if her father failed at bringing Mon-El back.

Jeremiah instructed J’onn to step back as he attached what looked like jumper cords to the metal table. He then went over to a console, turning it on with a whirring sound. Kara could the static in the air around her shift as Jeremiah turned a dial a sent of large electrical current through the cords, directly into Mon-El. Kara shouted in horror as she watched Mon-El’s body jerked with the force of electricity running through him. “Stop!”

Jeremiah looked toward Kara as he turned down the amperage. “Kara, do you trust me?” At her nod, he explained, “When Cadmus captured Mon-El, they tested him to see what his weaknesses were. That’s how they found out about the lead allergy. They also found out though that his body synthesizes electrical energy to make him stronger. Just like your body uses the radiation from our sun, his body needs this to heal itself. It’s the only way.” Kara nodded once in understanding before Jeremiah turned up the amperage again, sending a shock wave into Mon-El. He turned to dial all the way until the entire circuit border shorted out, causing the building to be shrouded in darkness. The back up generator kicked in as Jeremiah moved forward to check for a pulse.

Kara rushed to Mon-El’s other side as she asked him, “Did it work?”

Kara had her eyes closed as she drifted in the night sky. Two months. It had been two months since that fateful night. Since she had heard his voice, seen his blue-grey eyes shine with love for her. Two long months of trying to act like everything was normal, when in her heart she felt as if he had taken a piece of her with him. Her fingers grazed the slight mist of a cloud as she opened her eyes to see the stars above her twinkle brilliantly. Just as she was about to close them again, she saw it. Far in the distance, not something a mere human could see. However, with her sight she was able to telescope and see it. A comet. Radiant as it streaked through the night sky, a vivid shade of blue shining in it’s wake. His voice echoed in her ears as if he was right next to her. Comets.

Tears gathered in her eyes just as Alex’s voice spoke softly into Kara’s comm. “Kara, you should get back here.”

Happy for the distraction, Kara flew to the headquarters with a sonic boom following in her wake. She landed gracefully on her feet as she looked around for her sister or J’onn. When she couldn’t even find Winn, she went to the only place she knew all three of them would be at. Her heartbeat increased as tears filled her eyes. She couldn’t let her heart fill with hope. Not again. She couldn’t take it being broken again.

However, when she came into the medical bay, there they were, smiles on all their faces. Alex was the first one to see her, a watery smile letting Kara know she wasn’t seeing things. His back was facing her, his strong muscles visible even beneath the shirt he wore. She must have made a noise because, suddenly, all eyes were on her. Everything slowed down as she watched him turn his head, his eyes locking with hers as his smile spread across his face. It was his smile that propelled her forward, her arms wrapping around him as her fingers tangled with his hair. She held him close, fearing he would leave her again if she let go. Kara didn’t realize she started to cry until his soothing voice washed over her as he repeatedly told her, “I’ve got you, it’s okay.”

Alex motioned for everyone to give them a moment as J’onn ushered the rest of the team out of the room. Pulling back, Kara looked at Mon-El as he wiped her tears from her face. She spoke softly, a quiver in her voice. “Don’t ever do that to me again.” She had wanted to sound stern, but Kara knew she failed miserably as her voice cracked when she said, “Promise me.”

Mon-El brushed her hair behind her ears, letting his hands run down her long hair before coming back up to cup her face. “I can’t.”

Kara felt like she had been stabbed in the heart. She couldn’t go through this again. This pain. “Mon-El.”

He shook his head though as he wiped at her tears again. “Kara, if it’s between you and me, I will always choose you. Over and over and over again, without a doubt in my mind, without a pause in my step, and within a heartbeat of time. I will keep choosing you. I will never be a hero like you. I’m too selfish to be. While you watch after this entire city, this world, all I can think of is who is looking after you? Kara, don’t you see. I’m a selfish man that will not live in a world without you in it. You, Kara Zor-El, have taken my heart and I will willingly give of myself so you can live. Each and every time.”

Kara leaned her forehead against his, tears trailing down her cheeks at his admission. Her nose nuzzled his as she slowly came to terms with his words. She took in a shuddering breath before saying, “These last two months have been the hardest I’ve had to live. I finally felt again what it was like to not have you with me. You make me smile and laugh more than anyone I know. You bring a lightness to my world I never knew I was missing. I also saw that we had missed so much time together because I was scared. I was scared of losing you and in the end, I still did. I lost you, Mon-El, and it broke my heart. I thought I would never get another chance. If it was for Eliza finding a serum for your lead allergy, you may never have come back to me. So I’m not taking for granted another moment. I see now, that you don’t hold me back. You make me stronger. You challenge me in ways no one else can and force me to see things in a new light. I know I can’t stop you from protecting me, but maybe together, as a team, we can protect each other and this world.”

With those final words, Kara closed the small space separating their lips. The moment their lips touched it felt like coming home. The sun finally broke through the clouds and the warm rays of sun brushed her skin, filling her body with energy. Pulling away, she continued to nuzzle his nose. “I’ve thought of your name as well.”

Her heart leapt in her chest as he smiled at her. “Yeah, what is it?”

Mon-El watched as her eyes shined a vibrant blue, twin stars welcoming him home. Love swelled in his chest as she brushed his hair from his forehead. “Valor.”