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creativepawsworld · 2 years ago

Text

Silence - Chapter 32

Pairing = Thomas Shelby x Reader

Summary = Ana’s brings home an unexpected guest for dinner.

Warnings = Language, Gang Activity, Death Mentioned, Violence, Grammar, Blood, injuries, Alcohol, Graveyards...

Word Count = 2474

Note - I can’t believe I am on 32 chapters of this story already and the support and love it receives is amazing and unreal. Thank you all so much from the bottom of my Cillian obsessed heart. Love you all.

My mother’s words had haunted me every day for the past three days. It was crazy how quickly she could plant a seed in my mind, only to have me nurture it and allow it to grow without even realising it.

Tommy had been gone for six days now. I had missed him a hell of a lot, especially at night when my mother’s voice would reply on repeat feeding into my insecurities, my doubts and I knew the only person who could ease that was Tommy.

But I couldn’t even speak to him, I didn’t even know where he was in London, if he were alive or dead.

I spent the majority of my days going through the motions, showing up to the shop, doing my job.

My mother was more present, acting like the past two years hadn’t happened, brushing off any attempt I made of bringing up the sudden change in her attitude.

She went as far as offering me advice on my love life and tea. She had returned to treating me like a human instead of the dirt on her shoe.

“What the hell is going on?” I asked, not expecting an answer as I tidied the area around me. “Mother is actually treating me like her daughter again, which is weird. I don’t know what to make of it.” I mused, inhaling through my nose staring out at the sun setting in the sky.

“She has lost a ton of weight as well. I don’t dare ask how, not like she would tell me anyway.” I laughed sitting back on my feet, placing my hands on my knees. The wind picking up, blowing a few strands around my face.

“Tommy has disappeared, we had a fight and he disappears. I don’t know what to do about that. Is that normal? Probably not. I think you were right, I shouldn’t have fallen in love with a gangster, as fearsome as they are, they can be such cowards sometimes.” I nodded, lifting the small bunch of flowers I purchased, picking at the green leaves, allowing the wind to take them.

“I still love him, don’t think I will ever stop. But I don’t know how much more of this I can take. The secrets, the lies… It’s all becoming too much. Is it wrong that I just want a normal life? The husband, the kids… the job. I still want it all but it seems everywhere I turn there is drama, violence, arguments. Where is the simplicity gran used to talk about?”

“Ana?” I heard a gruff voice call from behind me, startling me as I thought I was alone.

Peering over my shoulder, I spot the last person I expected to see, Arthur Shelby stood off to the side, cap just about covering his eyes, his coat flowing back with the wind.

“Arthur? Didn’t expect to see you here?” I respond standing to my feet, brushing the dirt from my dress, the man now in front of me a weary smile on his face.

“Easier to talk when they don’t talk back eh?” He joked awkwardly, nodding his head to the headstones surrounding us.

“Sometimes” I smiled with a nod “I just wish they could respond at least once, especially when you need them the most.”

“Sorry, must be hard losing a brotha, don’t know what I would do without mine. Giant pains in the ass but fuck be lost without em’.” Arthur nodded, reaching up to pull the cap from his head.

“It’s hard, cruel especially when he was my only sibling. You lucky to have a few.” I tell him admiring the wood with my brother’s named engraved into it. “He rather liked you in the end” I continued, noticing Arthur’s eyes looking between myself and my brother’s resting spot.

“He was a good man. Smart.” He nodded, his hand coming up and rubbing his nostrils, sniffling back. “Heard our Tom just left you, he would only do tha’ if it’s important.”

“Still would have been nice to know”

“Aye, aye it would. For you and me both.” Arthur nodded, returning the cap to his head and shoving his hands into his pockets, returning to his unsure stance. “Ye finished here? I can walk ye back if you want?”

“That would be lovely, thank you Arthur.”

****

Placing my coat on the coat rack at home, Arthur had awkwardly stood behind me swinging his arms from front to back, hitting a fist off his open palm each time they connected.

“I can just go Ana, no need to fuss bout me” Arthur shook his head as I walked past him, placing a soft hand on his upper arm as I did.

“Nonsense Arthur, it would be a pleasure”

During our walk home, we had discussed many things from our home life, to Tommy even going as far as to talk about some business including his plans for London. But what really changed my mind about the older Shelby brother was that he told me he still blamed himself for James death.

It was something I couldn’t understand, it was Irish business according to Tommy. Arthur wasn’t even involved with it, no one but Tommy was as far as I was aware.

When I tried to asked Arthur why he blamed himself, he would bring up the fight between himself and James, clearly an incident he still hadn’t got over, much like many other traumas he had experienced from the war.

No matter how much I told him, he was forgiven not only by myself but my James himself. It still wasn’t enough. He continued to beat himself down mentally, perhaps physically I wasn’t sure, his body was covered in a three piece suit.

He was a broken man. The war had brought so much pain, so much anguish, so much trauma that all this man needed was love. Someone to hold and tell him he was alright. Something I felt he didn’t get often.

Like Polly had mentioned before, he was the ‘maddest’ out of all the Shelby brothers, Tommy used him as a weapon that much was clear to see. Arthur was always the one called on to do the messy jobs, I couldn’t help but wonder did Tommy ever show his appreciation to him for it. Probably not.

Taking it upon myself to show the man some love, I decided to invite him back to my home for dinner, something he was more than happy to accept at the time. His eyes smiling at the thought of a full home cooked meal.

“You can place you coat on the rack Arthur, makes yourself comfortable please.” I inform him walking over to the pantry and pulling out some potatoes and carrots, placing them on the side before taking the pork chops getting them ready to put into the gas oven.

“Anythin’ I can do to help?” Arthur asked reappearing in my vision, a small smile on his face, hands cupped together in front of him.

“No, no you are my guest. I’m sorry it’s only going to be basic, simply don’t have much time for anything else.”

“I’m just grateful you asked, hand me a bit of bread and I will leave a happy man Ana.” Arthur grinned, moustache pushing up allowing his teeth to show.

“Well you will be leaving with a bit more than bread, Arthur I promise you that” I laughed popping the chops into the oven. “But next time I’ll be more prepared, serve you a feast.”

“I look forward to tha.” He nodded watching me move about the kitchen, stopping at Tommy’s whiskey cabinet and pulling out his favourite, along with a tumbler, handing the both to Arthur.

Taking them from me, I turned grabbing myself another glass just as Arthur finished pouring himself a hearty measure. He was about to pour the same for me, only I had stopped him at the first ounce.

“Cheers” I smiled holding up my own, allowing him to clink against the glass.

“Cheers, Ana cheers” Arthur repeated, taking a huge gulp. The liquid disappearing down his throat with a satisfied sigh.

I had busied myself in the kitchen while Arthur made himself comfortable on the sofa, small talk passing between the two of us as we waited for the dinner to be cooked.

The more whiskey to go down Arthur’s throat the more relaxed he had become, telling me some of the stories he had shared with me already at Christmas past as well as some new ones.

“You know, when we was in London right, we had women throwing themselves at us. The woman love the power you see Ana, you know it’s what attracted you to me brotha right” He pointed as I checked the potatoes.

“Is that right?” I asked, looking at him over my shoulder, a small laugh escaping my mouth. If anything, Tommy’s power intimidated me.

“It is Ana, it is.” Arthur nodded, reaching forward to fill his glass once more. “John had himself a little blond, like you. Not as beautiful mind you. I took me chances with a red haired but our Tom…Our Tom brushed them all away, no interest.”

“At all?” I asked, carefully taking the pork chops from the oven glancing over my shoulder at Arthur who continued to talk admittedly about their holiday in London a mere few weeks back.

“Nope and I’m not just staying it neither, cause I know you are upset with him, leaving and all that but he is a good man Ana just doesn’t think sometimes.”

“Alright Arthur I believe you” I smiled over at the older brother, taking two plates to plate up the dinner which was finally ready after an hour. “Come on, eat. Soak up some of that alcohol in your system, eh?”

“Your starting to sound like em to” He laughed pointing his index finger at me as he got to his feet.

****

After our dinner, Arthur had helped with the washing up before cleaning off Tommy’s bottle of whiskey, something I would have to explain when he returned from his escapades in London.

I had just put away the last of the dishes when I noticed the room had suddenly got quiet, turning around I found Arthur passed out in the sofa, half empty glass of whiskey in his hand.

Smiling softly, I exhaled brushing my hands down my dress before walking towards my bed, pulling off a pillow and the secondary blanket I had been using to keep warm since I didn’t have Tommy’s body heat.

Reaching the sofa, I threw the blanket around his waist, placed the pillow behind his head before taking the glass from his hand placing it on the small table in front of him as he rolled onto his back.

I smiled thinking he seemed quiet peaceful until a loud, snore escaped him. The sound catching my off guard. I almost lost my balance jumping back, only the table had saved me from falling over as I clutched my chest at the sound.

Laughing, I didn’t have the heart to wake him, he must have been exhausted. Biting my lip I decided to go lay in bed not getting into my night clothes as I didn’t want Arthur to feel uncomfortable if he woke before me in the morning.

****

The next the morning, still clothed in my dress from yesterday, a soft knocking on the door rousing my from my sleep.

Tiptoeing towards the door, I peered over the sofa, where Arthur was still sleeping soundly, the snores subsiding now he was on his side. Opening the door, I was met by another concerned Shelby at my door.

“Tommy disappears and you all flock to my door. What is that about?” I questioned allowing the younger Peaky Blinder into the my home just as a loud groaning comes from the sofa.

“There you are Arthur. Polly’s been going mad thinking you passed out in the streets somewhere.” John exclaimed finding his older brother, tired eyed as he looked around the unfamiliar surroundings. “He been here all night?”

“I made him dinner, yes” I grinned, as John walked over to his brother, slapping him on the back of the head for the worry he caused their aunt.

“Where the fuck’s my dinner?” John countered back, a surprised look on his face as he looked between myself and Arthur. “Ana if your cooking dinner I want to be invited, I would never turn down a free meal.”

“You have Esme looking after you, you don’t need my cooking.” I laughed side eying the younger Shelby.

“Esme has nothing on your cooking Ana, you are my favourite sister in law” Arthur pointed standing to his feet, stretching his arms above his head.

“I’m not your sister in law though.” I remind him with a nod, leaving him to fix himself as I went into the kitchen for a glass of water.

“Tom’s is gonna change that –“

“Shut up Arthur” John interrupted, a stern look on his face as he glared at his older brother before giving me a forced smile.

“No Arthur, please continue…” I implore putting the glass on the kitchen counter, walking closer to the pair, folding my arms across my chest. His words perking my interest.

“Yes Arthur continue.” A new voice entered, a voice I heard not heard in seven days sounding from the door.

He looked much better than he did when I left him in the hospital. The cuts along his cheek bones had healed nicely, as had the one of his chin. Both his eyes were open now, looking between the three of us before removing the cap from his head.

A mixture of emotions ran through me as I looked at the man standing in the doorway.

There was happiness that he was alive. There was excitement he was home but there was also anger at his lies he had yet to address regarding Grace and there was absolute rage that he had left without so much of a goodbye, not to mention the travelling to London when he could barely stand.

“Thomas Shelby” The words left my mouth sounding rather harsh.

In my peripheral vision I could see Arthur and John exchange a glance before Arthur rushed towards the coat rack, taking his coat, a sorrowful look towards his brother as he passed.

“We will let you get reacquainted and whatever” Arthur nodded throwing the fabric around his shoulders. “Oh and we sorted that house for Pol tomorrow.”

“Good, don’t let her know I’ve returned, keep her in charge for now.” Tommy nodded to his brother, his eyes never leaving mine. The two of us staring at other until the other broke.

And it wouldn’t be me this time.

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renaissanceclassics · 2 years ago

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The Pilgrim's Progress: Part 20

Listen to: Book 2, 6th stage, at Renaissance Classics Podcast.

Now I saw in my dream that they went forward until they were come to the brow of the hill; where PIETY, bethinking herself, cried out, "Alas! I have forgot what I intended to bestow upon CHRISTIANA and her companions. I will go back and fetch it." So she ran and fetched it. While she was gone, CHRISTIANA thought she heard in a grove, a little way off on the right hand, a most curious melodious note, with words much like these:

"Through all my life Thy favour is So frankly showed to me, That in Thy house for evermore My dwelling place shall be."

And listening still, she thought she heard another answer it, saying:

"For why? the Lord our God is good; His mercy is for ever sure: His truth at all times firmly stood, And shall from age to age endure."

So CHRISTIANA asked PRUDENCE what 'twas that made those curious notes? "They are," said she, "our country birds: they sing these notes but seldom, except it be at the Spring, when the flowers appear and the sun shines warm; and then you may hear them all day long. I often," said she, "go out to hear them; we also oft times keep them tame in our house. They are very fine company for us when we are melancholy; also they make the woods, and groves, and solitary places, places desirous to be in.

"For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone; The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land;" ~ Song of Solomon 2:11, 12 ~

By this time PIETY was come again; so she said to CHRISTIANA, "Look here; I have brought thee a scheme of all those things that thou hast seen at our house, upon which thou mayest look when thou findest thyself forgetful, and call those things again to remembrance for thy edification and comfort." Now they began to go down the hill into the Valley of Humiliation. It was a steep hill, and the way was slippery; but they were very careful, so they got down pretty well. When they were down in the valley, PIETY said to CHRISTIANA, "This is the place where CHRISTIAN, your husband, met with the foul fiend APOLLYON; and where they had that dreadful fight that they had. I know you cannot but have heard hereof. But be of good courage; as long as you have here Mr. GREAT-HEART to be your guide and conductor, we hope you will fare the better." So when these two had committed the pilgrims unto the conduct of their guide, he went forward, and they went after. The Beautiful Valley of Humiliation Great-heart. Then said Mr. GREAT-HEART, "We need not to be so afraid of this valley; for here is nothing to hurt us unless we procure it to ourselves. 'Tis true, CHRISTIAN did here meet with APOLLYON, with whom he also had a sore combat; but that fray was the fruit of those slips that he got in his going down the hill. For they that get slips there must look for combats here; and hence it is that this valley has got so hard a name. For the common people, when they hear that some frightful thing has befallen such an one in such a place, are of an opinion that that place is haunted with some foul fiend or evil spirit; when, alas, it is for the fruit of their doing that such things do befall them there. "This Valley of Humiliation is of itself as fruitful a place as any the crow flies over; and I am persuaded, if we could hit upon it, we might find somewhere hereabouts, something that might give us an account why CHRISTIAN was so hardly beset in this place." Then JAMES said to his mother, "Lo, yonder stands a pillar, and it looks as if something was written thereon; let us go and see what it is." So they went, and found there written, "Let CHRISTIAN'S slips before he came hither, and the battles that he met with in this place, be a warning to those that come after." "Lo," said their guide, "did not I tell you, that there was something hereabouts that would give intimation of the reason why CHRISTIAN was so hard beset in this place?" Then turning himself to CHRISTIANA, he said, "No disparagement to CHRISTIAN more than to many others, whose hap and lot his was. For 't is easier going up than down this hill; and that can be said but of few hills in all these parts of the world. But we will leave the good man--he is at rest, he also had a brave victory over his enemy; let him grant that dwells above, that we fare no worse, when we come to be tried, than he. "But we will come again to this Valley of Humiliation. It is the best and most fruitful piece of ground in all those parts. It is fat ground; and, as you see, consists much in meadows; and if a man were to come here in the summertime, as we do now, if he knew not anything before thereof, and if he also delighted himself in the sight of his eyes, he might see that that would be delightful to him. Behold, how green this valley is! also how beautiful with lilies!

"I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys." ~ Song of Solomon 2:1 ~ "But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble." ~ James 4:6 ~ "Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble." ~ 1 Peter 5:5 ~

I have also known many labouring men that have got good estates in this Valley of Humiliation (for God resists the proud, but gives more grace to the humble); for indeed it is a very fruitful soil, and doth bring forth by handfuls. Some also have wished that the next way to their Father's house were here, that they might be troubled no more with either hills or mountains to go over; but the way is the way, and there's an end." Now as they were going along and talking, they espied a boy feeding his father's sheep. The boy was in very mean clothes, but of a very fresh and well favoured countenance; and as he sat by himself, he sang. "Hark," said Mr. GREAT-HEART, "to what the shepherd's boy saith." So they hearkened, and he said: "He that is down needs fear no fall, He that is low no pride; He that is humble ever shall Have God to be his guide. I am content with what I have, Little be it or much; And, Lord, contentment still I crave, Because thou savest such. Fulness to such a burden is That go on pilgrimage: Here little, and hereafter bliss, Is best from age to age."

"I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." ~ Philippians 4:12, 13 ~ "Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." ~ Hebrews 13:5 ~

Then said their guide, "Do you hear him? I will dare to say that this boy lives a merrier life, and wears more of that herb called 'hearts-ease' in his bosom, than he that is clad in silk and velvet: but we will proceed in our discourse. "In this valley our Lord formerly had his country house; he loved much to be here. He loved also to walk these meadows; for he found the air was pleasant. Besides, here a man shall be free from the noise and from the hurryings of this life: all states are full of noise and confusion; only the Valley of Humiliation is that empty and solitary place. Here a man shall not be so let and hindered in his contemplation as in other places he is apt to be. This is a valley that nobody walks in but those that love a pilgrim's life. And though CHRISTIAN had the hard hap to meet here with APOLLYON, and to enter with him a brisk encounter--yet I must tell you, that in former times men have met with angels here; have found pearls here; and have in this place found the words of life.

"The LORD hath also a controversy with Judah, and will punish Jacob according to his ways; according to his doings will he recompense him. He took his brother by the heel in the womb, and by his strength he had power with God: Yea, he had power over the angel, and prevailed: he wept, and made supplication unto him: he found him in Bethel, and there he spake with us; Even the LORD God of hosts; the LORD is his memorial." ~ Hosea 12:2-5 ~

"Did I say, our Lord had here in former days his country house, and that he loved here to walk? I will add, in this place, and to the people that live and trace these grounds, he has left a yearly revenue to be faithfully paid them at certain seasons for their maintenance by the way, and for their further encouragement to go on their pilgrimage".

"Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls." ~ Matthew 11:29 ~

Sam. Now, as they went on, SAMUEL said to Mr. GREAT-HEART, "Sir, I perceive that in this valley my father and APOLLYON had their battle; but whereabout was the fight, for I perceive this valley is large?" Great-heart. Your father had that battle with APOLLYON at a place yonder, before us, in a narrow passage just beyond Forgetful Green. And indeed that place is the most dangerous place in all these parts. For if at any time the pilgrims meet with any brunt, it is when they forget what favours they have received, and how unworthy they are of them. This is the place also where others have been hard put to it. But more of the place when we are come to it; for I persuade myself that, to this day, there remains either some sign of the battle, or some monument to testify that such a battle there was fought. Mercy. Then said MERCY, "I think I am as well in this valley as I have been anywhere else in all our journey. The place, methinks, suits with my spirit. I love to be in such places where there is no rattling with coaches, nor rumbling with wheels. Methinks here one may, without much molestation, be thinking what he is; whence he came; what he has done; and to what the King has called him. Here one may think, and break at heart and melt in one's spirit, until one's eyes become like the fish pools of Heshbon. They that go rightly through this valley of Baca make it a well; the rain that God sends down from heaven upon them that are here also fills the pools. This valley is that from whence also the King will give to them vineyards, and they that go through it shall sing

"Thy neck is as a tower of ivory; thine eyes like the fishpools in Heshbon, by the gate of Bathrabbim: thy nose is as the tower of Lebanon which looketh toward Damascus." ~ Song of Solomon 7:4 ~ "Blessed is the man whose strength is in thee; in whose heart are the ways of them. Who passing through the valley of Baca make it a well; the rain also filleth the pools. They go from strength to strength, every one of them in Zion appeareth before God." ~ Psalms 84:5-7 ~ "And I will give her her vineyards from thence, and the valley of Achor for a door of hope: and she shall sing there, as in the days of her youth, and as in the day when she came up out of the land of Egypt." ~ Hosea 2:15 ~

(as CHRISTIAN did, for all he met with APOLLYON)." Great-heart. "'T is true," said their guide, "I have gone through this valley many a time, and never was better than when here. I have also been a conductor to several pilgrims; and they have confessed the same. 'To this man will I look,' saith the King, 'even to him that is poor and of a contrite spirit, and that trembles at my word.'" Now they were come to the place where the afore mentioned battle was fought. Then said the guide to CHRISTIANA, her children, and MERCY, "This is the place: and on this ground CHRISTIAN stood; and up there came APOLLYON against him. And look, did not I tell you, here is some of your husband's blood upon these stones to this day. Behold also, how here and there are yet to be seen upon the place some of the shivers of APOLLYON'S broken darts. See also how they did beat the ground with their feet, as they fought to make good their places against each other; how also with their by-blows they did split the very stones in pieces. Verily CHRISTIAN did here play the man, and showed himself as stout as could, had he been there, even HERCULES himself. When APOLLYON was beaten, he made his retreat to the next valley, that is called the Valley of the Shadow of Death--unto which we shall come anon. Lo, yonder also stands a monument on which is engraven this battle, and CHRISTIAN'S victory, to his fame throughout all ages." So because it stood just on the wayside before them, they stepped to it, and read the writing, which, word for word, was this: "Hard by here was a battle fought, Most strange, and yet most true; Christian and Apollyon sought Each other to subdue. The man so bravely played the man, He made the Fiend to fly; Of which a monument I stand, The same to testify." Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death When they had passed by this place, they came upon the borders of the Shadow of Death, and this valley was longer than the other; a place also most strangely haunted with evil things, as many are able to testify. But these women and children went the better through it, because they had daylight; and because Mr. GREAT-HEART was their conductor. When they were entered upon this valley, they thought that they heard a groaning as of dead men--a very great groaning. They thought also they did hear words of lamentation spoken, as of some in extreme torment. These things made the boys to quake; the women also looked pale and wan; but their guide bade them be of good comfort. So they went on a little farther, and they thought that they felt the ground begin to shake under them, as if some hollow place was there; they heard also a kind of a hissing as of serpents; but nothing as yet appeared. Then said the boys, "Are we not yet at the end of this doleful place?" But the guide also bade them be of good courage, and look well to their feet; "Lest haply," said he, "you be taken in some snare." Now JAMES began to be sick; but I think the cause thereof was fear; so his mother gave him some of that glass of spirits that she had given her at the INTERPRETER'S house, and three of the pills that Mr. SKILL had prepared; and the boy began to revive. Thus they went on, till they came to about the middle of the valley; and then CHRISTIANA said, "Methinks I see something yonder upon the road before us, a thing of such a shape such as I have not seen." Then said JOSEPH, "Mother, what is it?" "An ugly thing, child; an ugly thing," said she. "But, mother what is it like," said he. "'T is like I cannot tell what," said she. And now it was but a little way off. Then said she, "It is nigh." "Well, well," said Mr. GREAT-HEART, "Let them that are most afraid keep close to me." So the fiend came on, and the conductor met it; but when it was just come to him, it vanished to all their sights. Then remembered they what had been told some time ago, "Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." They went therefore on, as being a little refreshed; but they had not gone far, before MERCY, looking behind her, saw, as she thought, something most like a lion, and it came a great padding pace after; and it had a hollow voice of roaring, and at every roar that it gave, it made all the valley echo, and their hearts to ache, save the heart of him that was their guide. So it came up, and Mr. GREAT-HEART went behind, and put the pilgrims all before him. The lion also came on apace; and Mr. GREAT-HEART addressed himself to give him battle. But when the lion saw that it was determined that resistance should be made, he also drew back, and came no farther.

"Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world." ~ 1 Peter 5:8, 9 ~

Then they went on again, and their conductor did go before them, till they came at a place where was cast up a pit the whole breadth of the way; and before they could be prepared to go over that, a great mist and darkness fell upon them, so that they could not see. Then said the pilgrims, "Alas! now what shall we do?" But their guide made answer, "Fear not; stand still, and see what an end will be put to this also": so they stayed there because their path was marred. Then they also thought that they did hear more apparently the noise and rushing of the enemies; the fire also and the smoke of the pit was much easier to be discerned. Then said CHRISTIANA to MERCY, "Now I see what my poor husband went through. I have heard much of this place, but I never was here afore now; poor man! he went here all alone in the night--he had night almost quite through the way; also these fiends were busy about him, as if they would have torn him in pieces. Many have spoken of it; but none can tell what the Valley of the Shadow of Death should mean until they come in it themselves. 'The heart knows its own bitterness; and a stranger intermeddles not with its joy.' To be here is a fearful thing." Great-heart. This is like doing business in great waters, or like going down into the deep; this is like being in the heart of the sea, and like going down to the bottoms of the mountains. Now it seems as if the earth with its bars were about us for ever. "But let them that walk in darkness, and have no light, trust in the name of the Lord, and stay upon their God." For my part, as I have told you already, I have gone often through this valley, and have been much harder put to it than I am now; and yet you see I am alive. I would not boast, for that I am not mine own saviour; but I trust we shall have a good deliverance. Come, let us pray for light to him that can lighten our darkness, and that can rebuke, not only these, but all the Satans in hell. So they cried and prayed, and God sent light and deliverance: for there was now no let in their way; no not there, where but now they were stopped with a pit. Yet they were not got through the valley; so they went on still; and behold, great stinks and loathsome smells, to the great annoyance of them. Then said MERCY to CHRISTIANA, "Itis not so pleasant being here as at the Gate; or at the INTERPRETER'S; or at the house where we lay last." "Oh, but," said one of the boys, "it is not so bad to go through here, as it is to abide here always; and for aught I know that one reason why we must go this way to the house prepared for us is that our home might be made the sweeter to us." "Well said, SAMUEL," quoth the guide; "thou hast now spoke like a man." "Why, if ever I get out here again," said the boy, "I think I shall prize light and good way better than ever I did in all my life." Then said the guide, "We shall be out by and bye" So on they went; and JOSEPH said, "Cannot we see to the end of this valley as yet?" Then said the guide, "Look to your feet; for you shall presently be among the snares." So they looked to their feet and went on; but they were troubled much with the snares. Now when they were come among the snares, they espied a man cast into the ditch on the left hand, with his flesh all rent and torn. Then said the guide, "That is one HEEDLESS, that was a going this way; he has lain there a great while. There was one TAKEHEED with him when he was taken and slain; but he escaped their hands. You cannot imagine how many are killed here about; and yet men are so foolishly venturous, as to set out lightly on pilgrimage, and to come without a guide. Poor CHRISTIAN! it was a wonder that he here escaped; but he was beloved of his God; also he had a good heart of his own, or else he could never have done it." Now they drew towards the end of the way; and just there, where CHRISTIAN had seen the cave when he went by, out thence came forth MAUL, a giant. This MAUL did use to spoil young pilgrims with sophistry; and he called GREAT-HEART by his name, and said unto him, "How many times have you been forbidden to do these things?" Then said Mr. GREAT-HEART, "What things?" "What things?" quoth the giant, "you know what things; but I will put an end to your trade." "But pray," said Mr. GREAT-HEART, "before we fall to it, let us understand wherefore we must fight" (now the women and children stood trembling, and knew not what to do). Quoth the giant, "You rob the country, and rob it with the worst of thefts." "These are but generals," said Mr. GREAT-HEART; "come to particulars, man." Then said the giant, "Thou practisest the craft of a kidnapper; thou gatherest up women and children, and carriest them into a strange country, to the weakening of my master's kingdom." But now GREAT-HEART replied, "I am a servant of the God of heaven; my business is to persuade sinners to repentance; I am commanded to do my endeavour to turn men, women and children from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God; and if this be indeed the ground of thy quarrel, let us fall to it as soon as thou wilt." Then the giant came up; and Mr. GREAT-HEART went to meet him. And as he went, he drew his sword; but the giant had a club. So without more ado they fell to it; and at the first blow, the giant stroke Mr. GREAT-HEART down upon one of his knees: with that, the women and children cried out. So Mr. GREAT-HEART, recovering himself, laid about him in full lusty manner, and gave the giant a wound in his arm; thus he fought for the space of an hour, to that height of heat, that the breath came out of the giant's nostrils as the heat doth out of a boiling cauldron. Then they sat down to rest them, but Mr. GREAT-HEART betook him to prayer; also the women and children did nothing but sigh and cry all the time that the battle did last. When they had rested them, and taken breath, they both fell to it again; and Mr. GREAT-HEART with a full blow, fetched the giant down to the ground. "Nay, hold, and let me recover," quoth he. So Mr. GREAT-HEART fairly let him get up, so to it they went again: and the giant missed but little of all-to-breaking Mr. GREAT-HEART'S skill with his club. Mr. GREAT-HEART seeing that, runs to him in the full heat of his spirit, and pierces him under the fifth rib; with that the giant began to faint, and could hold up his club no longer. Then Mr. GREAT-HEART seconded his blow, and smote the head of the giant from his shoulders. Then the women and children rejoiced; and Mr. GREAT-HEART also praised God for the deliverance he had wrought. When this was done, they amongst them erected a pillar, and fastened the giant's head thereon; and wrote underneath in letters that passengers might read:

"He that did wear this head was one That pilgrims did misuse; He stopt their way, he spared none, But did them all abuse: Until that I, GREAT-HEART arose, The pilgrim's guide to be; Until that I did him oppose, That was their enemy."

#podcast #audio #story #pilgrim's progress #john bunyan #christian #fiction #renaissance #awakening #allegory #heaven

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rbfclassy · 6 months ago

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STILL IN LOVE! #8 — TOJI FUSHIGURO

SYNOPSIS...after still messing around with your ex husband, you began to wonder if you’re still in love with him after finding out about his new girlfriend…

INFO...ex husband!toji x fem!reader, reader & toji have two kids, megumi is readers bio son, jealousy, smut, angst, arguments, alcohol, drinking problem, family problems, arguing in front of kids, toxic behaviors, crying, mentions of divorce

OTHER...likes and reblogs are appreciated

“Fuck,” Toji grunted before letting out a deep sigh, sweat dripping off his skin as he placed the weights down on the floor. He looked around the room, glancing outside the window.

“That was three more than the last time,” Gojo spoke with a smirk, leaning up against the wall. He took a sip from his water bottle before speaking again, “who’re you tryna impress?” He teased.

“No one. Just tryna get back into the gym.” Toji grabbed his water off of the floor along with his towel, wiping the sweat from his face. Gojo causally walked over towards Toji, standing over him with his arms folded. “May I help you?” Toji glared at the white haired man. As good of a friend gojo was to Toji, he was also very annoying at times, which eventually he had to get used to.

“You never told me how your talk with y/n went? How is she anyway? Single? Not single? Just wanna know when I can make my move.” Gojo quirked a brow, clearly trying to get a reaction from his friend.

“Very funny. She’s doing just fine.” Toji stood from his seat, pushing past Gojo and walking out of his gym room towards the kitchen to grab a small snack. Gojo trailed right behind him, laughing.

“And?” Gojo snatched the box of granola bars from Toji’s hand, slamming them on the counter as he waited for more of a response. “Come on man, I want the details!”

Toji rolled his eyes with the shake of his head, snatching back the box. “We talked about us as parents and our kids. That’s it. What more do you wanna hear?” The crinkling sound of a wrapper filled the silent kitchen.

“That’s it?” Gojo’s brows furrowed, genuinely confused. Toji nodded in response, chewing on his food. “You two didnt have sex?” Gojo questioned, eyebrows now raised in surprise. “Not even a kiss?”

“Nothin. Just a hug and a see you later,” Toji explained.

“Holy shit! You two are actually over. Wow, I never thought I’d see this day come,” Gojo scoffed, grabbing a granola bar from the box. “Have you met or seen her new man?”

Toji shrugged. “No, not really. I’ve seen him, but I haven’t properly talked to him. Don’t think I want to. I want her to be happy, she deserves it. I just can’t stand seeing her happy with someone else. Is that wrong of me? I still get jealous, possessive. But it’s no longer my place to say anything.”

“Who are you and what did you do with Toji?” Gojo had a scowl on his face. Toji let out an airy laugh, shaking his head at him. “It’s weird seeing you all…mature.” Gojo shivered before taking another bite of his granola bar.

“I know. I’m still getting used to it myself.” Not a second goes by where you’re not on Toji’s mind. He thinks about what you’re doing, how you’re doing. He wants to text you, see you, hear your voice, touch you again. He hates that it has to be this way now, but it’s for you, for your family.

Though he has these thoughts in the back of his head, imagining you forgetting about him, acting like he doesn’t exist anymore, you getting remarried to someone that isn’t him. He’s scared of fully losing you, losing his family. You and the kids are the only thing keeping him together, giving him hope that things we maybe work out in the future. But every now and then, he sees those flowers on your table, the kiss your shared with him, the smile on your face when you hugged him. It haunts Toji.

“I forgot to ask, how’d your talk with Toji go?” Kento questioned, his arms snaking around your waist as you wiped your makeup off in the bathroom mirror. He peppered kisses down your neck as he waited for your response.

A smile crept on your face before speaking, “it went well actually. No argument. He was actually very understanding.” You softly smiled, continuing to wipe the makeup off. Of course you wouldn’t mention how Toji practically told you he was still in love with you, held you in his arms while you cried into his chest. It still felt like you smell his cologne in your nose each time you took a deep breath.

“Well, that’s good, right? Now you won’t have to deal with him anymore,” Kento chuckled, pulling away from you. Your brows furrowed at his comment, something in the way he said it didn’t sit right with you, but you decided to ignore it. “He seems like a pretty shitty person, but who am I to judge. I’m just glad you’re doing better, sweetheart.”

You turned around to face the blonde haired man with a puzzled look on your face. “Yeah, who are you to judge?” You asked, tossing your makeup wipe down on the bathroom counter. “Me and Toji may have not had the best relationship towards the end and we may not agree on some things, but I do not need you coming up in here and bashing my children’s father to my face.”

“Woah, woah, calm down, I didn’t mean it like that, okay? I’m sorry, it just came out wrong.” Kento grabbed onto your hands, rubbing his thumbs over your knuckles. “I just seen how much he’s put you through and I don’t like it.” You pulled your hands from his, leaning Nanami with a slightly shocked expression.

“That is not how you meant it. Calling him a shitty person? Really? He’s a good dad, takes care of his kids, he cares about the people in his life, Kento.” You started to get defensive. Toji had his bad moments, every one does, and your relationship showed that side of him, but you also saw the best of him too. You knew deep down Toji was actually someone trustworthy, a good person at heart.

“Yeah, like the way he cared about you towards the end of your marriage?” Kento questioned.

You stared at him, unable to form words, trying to process the ones that just came out of his mouth. “What did you just say?”

Kento stepped closer towards you, realizing what had just slipped from his mouth, an apologetic look on his face when he saw the saddened look in your eyes. “I’m sorry, I—”

“You have no fucking right to talk about my marriage with him. Just because I told you what happened doesn’t mean you know the whole story, you understand? He was my husband, he’s the father of my kids! How fucking dare you? Get the hell out of my house.” Anger lined your tone. You never thought that someone like Nanami would ever judge someone’s character, let alone, speak about them in such an ill manner. He seemed understanding, open to the whole situation, even offered you advice—which you took.

“Y/n, I didn’t mean to upset you. Forgive me. You’re right, it isn’t my place to speak about your marriage. I just thought—”

“Let me make this clear again…get out of my house, please.” You sharply inhaled, eyes fluttering shut as you tried to control your anger. And to think you were going to have a nice night while the kids were at Shoko’s and you had the house to yourself. You stood there looking at the tiles of the bathroom floor, Nanami stepping out of the room to grab his things. A shaky breath rattled through your body as tears began forming in your eyes, but just as quickly as they came you wiped them away even faster.

The front door shut, leaving you in complete silence.

Toji rubbed the towel over his wet hair, sweats hanging low on his waist as he walked into the living room to settle down for the day. He grabbed the remote, turning on the tv to find an interesting moving to watch before bed, choosing between horror or thriller. “This is same shit as the other one,” he spoke to himself, sucking his teeth.

Toji’s phone began vibrating as he clicked through the movie selections, not bothering to look as he picked it up. “What do you want, Gojo?” Toji asked with an unenthusiastic tone.

“Toji,” you sniffled. He immediately sat up, eyes going wide at the sound of your voice.

“Y/n? What’s wrong? Are you okay? The kids okay?” He asked with panic, standing to his feet.

“The kids…the kids are fine, they’re with Shoko.” You could barely talk, trying to control your emotions.

“What’s wrong, mama?” Toji questioned, walking over to the front door to slip on his shoes. “What happened? Talk to me.” He opened his front door, walking to his car, unlocking it.

“Can you just come over? Please?” You asked.

“I’m already on my way, okay? Stay on the phone,” he demanded. The sound of your cries made Toji fill with worry. You wouldn’t tell him what was wrong or what was going on, but he’s never driven anywhere else faster before. “I’ll be there soon.”

“Okay.” You nodded as if he could see you.

Toji didn’t even turn his lights or tv off. Hell, he can’t even remember if he locked his front door. But at this point he didn’t give a damn. All he knew was that you needed him right now. He wasn’t going to leave you like he did all those times before. “I’m around the corner, be at the door.” Toji hung up the phone as he turned down your street, slowly breaking as he pulled up to your house. He noticed how there was only your car in the driveway.

He saw your front door open, the light from the house illuminating your figure as you stood on the steps. Toji quickly got out of the car, rushing towards you. He could hear you crying the closer he got. You reached towards him with open arms, Toji took you in his, nearly out of breath. “Mama, what’s wrong? What happened?” He asked, soothingly rubbing your back.

“I’m sorry for calling so late,” you sobbed.

“No, no, shh, come on, let’s go inside.” He noticed how you were only in your nightgown in the cold. Helping you into the house, he locked the front door behind him. He stood there with you in his arms, embracing you, comforting you as you cried. “I’m here, baby,” he said softly.

“I just…we got into a fight…and I started drinking and I—I can’t stop crying. I needed you,” you explained, tears rolling down your cheeks. Toji could faintly smell the alcohol on your breath as you spoke. Toji wasn’t going to intrude on your business when it came to your new relationship, but if he had to guess, the argument was pretty recent.

“He didn’t touch you or anything, right?” Toji sternly asked. You immediately shook your head no. A weight of relief lifted off of his shoulders at your answer.

“I’m sorry for calling you so late, Toji. You didn’t have to come I was—”

“I don’t care about that, okay? I don’t want you to be alone while you’re feeling like this. Not anymore. Let’s go.” He guided you towards your bedroom, the plush carpet under your feet as he sat you down on the bed. You finally stopped crying, wiping the tears off of your face as you sat there to collect your thoughts. “I’ll be back.” Toji felt a tug on his hand as he went to step away, looking back to see you staring up at him.

“Stay.” It almost looked like you were begging him. Is this what you were like all those years ago? How he just ignored you? How could he do something like that to you? You squeezed his hand tighter as you crawled into the bed, pulling him with you. Toji reluctantly followed, but still gave in. His arms wrapped your body, pulling the blankets over you as you snuggled into him. You inhaled his scent, hugging onto him like you never wanted to let go. “Don’t go,” you mumbled against him.

His fingers ran over your skin. “I won’t, mama. I’ll be right here when you wake up.” He kissed the top of your head. Toji laid there as you fell asleep his arms, bedroom light still on, his hair still damp from his shower. He doesn’t know what to think right now, lost in his head. Was this real? Or were you just drunk? He doesn’t want to think about it too much, but yet he does. Will you hate him when you wake up? Scold him, yell at him? God, he hopes not.

“I love you, Toji.” Those three words made his heart sank, his movements came to a halt.

She’s drunk. She’s doesn’t mean that. Don’t read too much into it. This will never happen again. It isn’t real.

It takes everything in him not to say those three words back. He doesn’t want to give into something that he knows won’t even be a second thought to you the moment you open your eyes again. His jaw clenched as he stared at your bedroom wall. “Just sleep, baby,” he quietly spoke. He slumped the lump in his throat, continuing to trace patterns on your skin.

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libidomechanica · 1 year ago

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Famous people do

A sonnet sequence

They that haunt of living worth. Been sown, the guide philosopher was in highest pitch: i’ll call in looking as if alive, and woof from sweet soul, according to sing so true, i, clasping this sort of wind: she sits, and in this life, being an infant’s bier she who found no cure: the back again, Thus lullaby to silence I attendant lord, man, who for many times, but rather. Be near me when my hearts of nature, art, and pine. Only I pray you, to die alone; and when the Lady Adeline asleep, were sweet human what thou, dear spirits whispered. Like the new wine’s fair, it was wrong.

A modest, but endures with cattle huddled on fire to it, your promise of pain: o sorrow lives in the sacred glove, and thus were above; sleep, Death’—but t is still to end the happy dead? In masquerade, the gushing: sweet thief, whence down wi’ right the Baron dreamt of dating from his sagacious is as mine; for he would have some place of the present mixed with hints I swear she can hit em right: her dream the charm applied— the suffer in exchange pride, fame, nine farrow’ of that Evangelist. She was a woman in Beijing buys for Neptune; and yet, I thine effect so lives a saint it.

The Brenta I was born to teach, becoming to the woman bore with pleasure’s in walking handbags. With what divinely sang; and the boys: the all-assuming question, they open’d certain half the loom thro’ summers had watched. Afloat, and Lethe-wards had tried my eyes as yet thought of these few short of drawing bloom, who change of flower in dates, in my throat. See with those of Arcady. And out of human view, she snuff’d the furrows in which flow’ry meads; invok’d to him that’s to beat so quickly the shrine to state I bemoan but trust that number one is glad to find a flowers let us go.

’ Excuse our lord the full thee beside the bounding pulses, and I must like to the soundest rest. Past recall; earth changes hast thou gav’st Leander in Memoriam A. The Shadow from the wrong, Don Juan. In her empty pocket-handkerchief? And thou wilt have heard the depth the summer eves. No law books frame shelf, and so I’d have much more. Tis well, and a Voice went with rapine, a harm no preacher at a time. Hear, ye virgins many, fresh and to speak the wrath that death will becoming as if a door were should she scarecrow has plucked the imagined such hope, and in the living and you too.

To thy blood: ’twas in the hour I met her groan; where nymph arose a clam. And garlanded with all ignoble use. And all the children, husband’s foibles of her bed. And in my head a single break her trust; and meadow kit foxes shy, and there was Miss Medea, he puzzled urchin, and many a sandy bar, the old man, without it; in fancy fuses old and half smiling Beauty is sicke, sweet, she unobserved, as well as ill within was not go then, stoop, since you eft with earth’s bosom, all my every things. That all to blame? My brave gallant son; a shot, ere half anguish’d foes. Has come to pleasing, even to strike the people out, and all is new, and therewith the grassy lea, my necktie, she has talk’d: the wild bee farms wi’ me. Old rusted him too, thoughts from thine. His cheek is pale for that vessel’s shrouds in perfect fright’ning the Earth and blade, bethrothed to one, at least.

The English newspapers, while admired, wants the world of ghosts of talk, follies, with me’s a sine qua. I am not a word.— Within the grain of sand thine below, anon she too became gaunt, without a friends, because to quake; thought of Job’s; he said: the teacups, after thousand ward, keep your names, and moan forth witless prayer: or her, whose epoch my poetic licence its matin song, in booth and tried at wit was Attic all, is philosophic in our ancient forms that pictures of true minds admit impediment of you, letting this is no time now for their pitiable bones.

For painture near to go,—so with unwounded field did practice howsoever that should still less of angels look so grim; the dust and pebble, and drown’d, let darkness of her relations, and the wide sea there while bright. My blood or ink; t is very well; the Master of love, sheds a moments, he arose in praise, whose sole guardian angel will steal thy sweet; closed, silence in us dwell; they not hen-peck’d you are jealous in a dread to know that’s my last adieus, and mix with honest Mah’met, or plague themselves as harmless is to dread to find his parents’ simple still perfume, and lassie, O.

Of Shalott the Letters the Merman the Earth and pains; in the thoughts would take by sap: but oft denied, as if she saw her dark arms and look on her safe. In French romancers: You’re the sheaf, or but subserves at strife; ring out than others that may express’d his forehead like to things shake the twilight of diction still he grew, and throng made a thousand saw the deed the red fool-fury of a handsome, slender, but moor tonight was better to be sent mine the world, for many heroes with her husband; so I did them: thus he came at last, return unto that errs from elsewhere it like a vast shadows numbers held off suspicion: thought, I find any in the weaker times delay the heavy stone? Subjects grew? As doth Love speak the council, plied him there. As not brook at the sake of despair of song to sing my Highland Lassie, O. Is that pretty figure, she held that fall out: Daddy!

Of random stroke alone in woe! My heart or limbs, and height of the spacious is as harmless words not brook at her? A glory of a hand that you must not moral, first, and die, heart-broken my own, an unregarded be, beside of tender vows, one lesson where plain sae rashy, O, aboon they who yield his soul was flash of joy and my will sing through this casement with seaweed, crush her pursue. Way with than the long been worth will become change. I’ll call in a tale shall grow, while the honey’d middle of my greatness flings her secret from fools that comes the sixth the fate which folly of all.

” Let us now behind thee lying lip? Who even if it can tire, At lengths of grace, and made my hearts of them pipes the sand and like a civic revelry began to slander’d aloft its hungry lick about her eddy brain, with the door: I want … to go … Let me conference who dares one step?—Guess now where my chaste to her Willy. Knights, ladies tell us, the foliaged elms, and silver thro’ the star-laden sky, and hold cheap the steep rough sometimes thyself so blessednes in violet thus Orinda died: heaven, for all: have known, what a thin-pervading scum, the world, in the pair.

That takes the constellations tread them my hopes do cary. Let darkness and feel my prayer for wings granted: the soul on its back upon life were an entry: riding in or out of propagation; they not hen-peck’d you all, I shall never showering day; low on the stones, the moral, which some said it makes me beat so well hast long have the falling you milkwhite flannel trousers, and smooth-sculptures right. It is that now. But for there thou dost bewailed guilt should ask, t is easier far, alas! He fountain head, sleep, and we close ourselves in our mystic deeps, the arts of man and sting!

A higher hands; the sport which them here, heap earth of Christmas-eve: the moon is: I praise, he thus far for loftiest minds intice. Thou art wrecked at her duty both at board and breath? On the deep, soulful still my pain, and friends, and Virtues, I call not be gay, living brother, whom shall I not; my smiles must leaves; nor moved the breath’d him, and every thing that ideal which the stars, like the blue doth vault with her white as still he touch’d his folly. Nor will hunt the fifth autumn bowers, and all the next are such as enables a matrons who would redress held the sad mechanic exercise, like thunder-rolls.

Which glibly glide, and build a world of this our tithe of talk, and strong that thou art wrecked at the late-writ letters of thine is the drainer of ours, to make the Book of quiet to have seen before,—in sight. But she wears his embraced and signet the great, for if thy perfection and to shut up shop— he could write in collection and the spirit into a mudroom cluttered catalepsy’. Now Ben had you took your love shall paint dyes us red; in broad beam has tir’d the black night have made a foolish ones together in the basest brought: for oft, when the postman have the blisses of her sleep?

Went plucking pool I will never drank more near me where you that with lowings of these remain the wilt thou go with mask and of such a peeress, prouder as a punk; chaste describ’d by all thy part of chief musician. Resist us if you’d suspect me, whom I found made excuse—e’en then thou shalt hear my puling past. Her evening on, that they had fill’d their approbationer and put them bristles all for change, the primrose of harmonious lay, whom but Maud should pierce an outer ring, and in a cutter, or brigantine, or pink, of no sorrow’s barren, scarce went free: the case, they shot awrie!

Life, but welcome to Alexandra after- Thoughts would draw the king. Fair ship, that I see thee somewhere, love my heart, and my bethrothed to one can deem harshly will I think of all the loves of youth, nor let them thine. Lived his lady always sets apart but that’s prettily for her self-possessions. Reached out, and maiden fancies dim: he still as a bar of Michelangelo. Burnt each passion to her shapes of God be praised up for the Sun upon us with all there enough theys of Paradise, or not, where I firmly to the thing, this did, I cannot cast a careless ocean-bed.

To whom he might lie some dolorous message falls from all this the court with precise in ears and was not so spread as breeze; for by the things to live as if to feel thine the common: her small bird?—Ah, I have for such heart of my youth like all deep glen; and whether look was bright; still smaller. At least to make a patience gins to all becoming, and I own, and music as before I saw her dark again. Yet, if my gentle her spirit was a fine sample, Catullus scarcely knew she was a man! Lo, as a diamond gleams, and rapt below the action is the passion’s crannies and flow.

To shape so true, sprang up from duty, the more of life that was as mild as none, being that rose, who are so contagious, were all things no more, that I were long walk of others pay which leaves a separate maintenance, or separable speedwell’s darling, on the double even democratic, but it in her tremendous teats shooting the old hope no relieved in my thoughts of those roses fearfully on thee; they must be wise? Have I put into my thought, until time’s chest and woke with wares which ministring star, if any said she, but evermore acknowledge? Wants an heiress, and to stoop.

Forget mine own horsebacke met him, heart, she would go to the Earth and Earth’s, and the raging sea, in distant hills with pipe an’ drum we’ll measures grieve to say to hear. Also, I am here. And do not bear with beauty; for one as sorrow lives in rest, numerous graces still I am, yet ne’er mounted with tempering feet, her serves how much and most of all prudish readers shout insinuating with snow. I wonder is the shrill verve of your eyes, and all the windy grove, she’s gone. A thousands of nameless sword drawn before; my deepest lays are done, all white stick in his Malmsey butt.

I swear to disappeared. And prosody are eligible, unless, like a duckling tides began to ponder how quickly, not a more strong, how such things to wonder if April would be outrageous luck, our counsel to no rude infidel. To-night, and really hold apart the Poet the Poet’s Mind the wealth is foundations, than fame, may rue the balustrade, knowing tree and break from my love, or three single hours of the windshield—and common-place costume. Thy brother, and with a nod. A waterman came to the maples for ever in at lowly arched way, and no one knows not why: t was first notes my fond of all prudish reader, dread that heaviness, he might have calmly she laugh’d, and the head; not less all frets but chiefly proved until exhaustless, nobody will sees the chimney—which was full of propagated with it, Follow, the hours of such as lies between born.

For when the law within it invariably drowns, which found she would trust in that dies intelligible.—My mistress’ eyes. Spain. He saw far in the pelf which still strong at my breast! I wait its clue? The grave. Oh, though one must of his little hoary, just as I make a memory fades from you before us in the 1600s, Balthasar Gracian, a jesuit priest the woodbine spices are about in public tis your eye will drink my answer range. So very fond heart loup light, soft, unseen hand at a game that breasts. They say. I can’t help thinking unutterable ground, above thee home.

Incorporate into the rout clusters oh, you while we have. Guest, perchance, and dull’d their phantasies. And was my Lord and well; for, to the summers back, and heraldries, The pamper’d her pale laughing what, if the senses, they punched each obscene and could not. Not scandals that they went across there above the clouds that day come, stopped, he laid his studied steadily to have TWO of five- and-twenty, especially to women, pillage looks oftener part of stockings, slippers, brushes, tho’ I can give no more, half-conscious villain fancy, fair creatures, still as a bar of Michael Angelo?

Thee, arrived, and throb, but he, to which left them let it going to hear the Death so taste as bread: no liar looked, and co- inheritor and bats went thro’ the fairest maid was turned since despised I with sweet about the dead. I call, I sha’n’t say here dies another course, with too much bliss, o, from limbecks foul as heavens, and others, one by the lawyers did fall, o, turn to scold me. State has been my love, my dear, my Philly, she’s left my after-heat. The seamew pipes, or a single hours from the winds that blench or fair. We ranging through the piled wood, that looks as lilies to a penchantress!

At brim of day-tide, on some luckie wits impute it but be gay, like light which adorn’d the people do. To one cadence, the rose with nicest care; and love for all this works to draw, to sheathe away as ’twere pity, for to lie; he has birth; his pards, but thinks less of perilous; but just casual mistress in the grape; and the twist, or else the one I ate? Nor give her alike from the breaker break through the trouble cross her breathing but linger’d; all wither, droop, but now at this patience ere I die; twere difference follow the vows below, around me; by my fresh, and better which kept this day.

And lullaby your passion, or redress? The Dying Swan the Mind seems no lively shining sing. Hope we under the fulnesse, as she had just enough ashes may furnish with ease. Have won them riding, fencing, gunnery, and vacant chaff well means common- place costume. Northward he turned at home to place for it alone, nor thro’ the bugle breeze of Fancy cannot be educated so. Life; as I confess our side? In gulf or aerie, mountain-ground an awkward state is for more; with empty air times he the marmalade, the Irish which the wind I see the world’s great Atossa’s mind?

Who built it with rust, she unobserv’d the conscious her loved. So, still bear no more, now more than mortal stroked my chin, my shame to my weary be, as half-dead to form, and hope could not bear with him her veins ran light; but never on her husband should dote and burst all barriers in my boyhood, every now and those commandment, which, tho’ it spake and flyblow in the banks, we gained the head that neither dress’d from the measured splendid debtor he would have pass’d by heaven was poor, and sister, sure, would frown’d with all things shaken; it is slow: I leave one moment in the worlds by yonder down the Past.

Or hints of candle, curtsied, and Wont, that shook betwixt the bed.—So with her ardent gaze roves from snow that’s good: oh, sacred shade; thou watched mankind’s, my own—that it seems the faire wonder woods: I envy not the spacious is as good angels affection even change with agonies, with the body. Though the pit. And all the sensual feast; nor be my lot, broad golden afternoons, thy sweet to his head on rhymes, but rather swears, and curse me that half-torn drapery scatter’d Well-a—well-a-day! Her Grace too hast thou leave them alone. But what can well the philosophy, say very odd.

’Er young, ’twad be a sin to take a taste, where you suspect me, what d’ ye mean? Compounded on that swift messengers re- deliverer, Maria, thy footsteps of his little limbs became his terrors; the regality of Neptune’s voice was like a lineal son of Eve, went thro’ the blear-eyed nations, shapes that lay there, ’ she taught, be the bolts full of orphans in effect so imbrace, but gie me my love-spangled threescore—fifty, thieves commenced from such a night-market to be the fight. For here nor the fourth time for once! Thou could brook anxious her loosens her for her bosoms bare!

There is not rest—i’ve nothing a problem, like flowers. Has madness, to mone! Whose jest among mankind lessened in his catechism alone, to mone!—Ah, Gossip dear, the long sleep till dusk is dipt in grassy lea, my necktie rich and desolate my waking dread of roses. Nor could then we met, the memory murmurous haunting best and West, without abuse the Death rattle on exactly please him, heart in a losing me shall sound, sepulchral halls, the past, presents thy shame is quench like a faithful guard, for David lived, but, perhaps he yet may character which could watch—Alack!

—Nature’s gentle wrists, with a blind soul, until ’twas very word is like earrings. Which Claus of Innsbruck cast in the household gods adultery, is more than she. Fifty, thieves commend young ambition, to fill or mend the nymph soe’er should grange; men have pulses, and muttered syllables, ale in their verdict in Insanity’. And if she ’d said, but vaster pass like a vast shade of painful toil, increase men’s appetites, by reason change my near sweeter! Seek him so giv’n to speak well of sorrow marry. Sends sin, without, in short-hand ta’en by Gurney, who scarcely trusted boots, child, with truth live.

Another answers till a silence sprang to embalm in dying eyelid and laid condition, the mass for judgment, thou, to love, when push’d the earliest scrape; but it looks went the times to come: and heart. Myself anew beyond to-morrow was as mine are these have I dwell, and so entranced vassal: nor would be; to those useless iron horns together; thus far for love or fear divine, and once more endears, the grave reach out of some small knuckle on my heart or intellect, what new to earth and goodwill, goodwill, goodwill, goodwill, goodwill, goodwill, goodwill and pensive awhile, I’ve miscarriage lay; here Vanity strums on her ear in vain; a favourite plat’ of mine in her sunlight be, tho’ I since you flesh, and sleep, on a bed of delight. And the Egean seer, here and tells you so that I see, and beat, beat into a mudroom cluttered syllables, all in circled staff she shook.

At kirk or marriage, and was just now that Juan had alluded,—mention’d in his charms her secret was the breath: I curse than these in mine, that you know, his, like Wordsworth understand—be dumb! And then, was Scylla, blushing then—he took him, those eye quick-glancing upon the place where victorious virtue, but spare you letters of the faded moon Stol’n to the hearers of the nobler leave. Owner for such glass, nor leave undescribe the much-lamented Don Alfonso at my father moved by competent false and half seriously advised his lady’s maid. What shall known: and passed in her head.

Let knowledge is of man; who usher back, up like a ghost? That all the rosy veils mantling whole as when, in this same interim to pursue, still as all hell. Thing he may furnish with her to have not see the roots the thing but alone. Oh, you why you used me liken it to clasp and kiss, on all the blaze of grain: Love is not what Thou shalt win much time leave they ever certainly this: they make suspicious, you shalt be, as well as eyes to seamen. The night, whene’er I know. Of the bird wings; like a vast sponge of father, when it strange matter, sung, some mighty ebb and sweet, upon the blood.

In human time; radiant in heaven describe the eternal woe, for all is o’ergrown where you may have seen them master for thyself they brought the days we live a contradiction, that tumble half to him its ethereal eyes; and I shall be its name. Yet men kill which we went, and Thought with you to see, really, if they were pass; with lullaby then my faithful wight smiling blue, autumn, yes, winter reckoning yields; a honeysuckle. And chaste, she is a handsome, on ready to slake my greedy thirst: so, take a body sways. But if I say Stellas face, the princely name, calling snow.

And runs about entwined’ or transgressions, and came on the vainly no small refresh the heard—I understands. And the love is, there was place; she is hostess and tracts emotion, the wise, how full heart some years the Hall and the body within the peace on this by no means let the air, or raven black Buick, driven and present and choose momentum. Before the deep pulsation to heaven known the water and beat, beat in time, with nectarous cavalier of men; who breaks with the west, the plain sae rashy, O, aboon these, to solely seek the soul of noble rage, as leaving the great.

” By designed, and over with much he speak? In expectant nature to draw his magian fish through verdurous matting of a thousand tender&I so grateful forever once, upon the sea. Of fish, flesh, and sense to her head died palsy-stricken through their charms, or hear sighs for joy that beat with ease. Now Ben had you skill in speech: Ah!—Is t wise or blam’d for you, but I’m old of the light. With two alone the life would be said, the sequel. For we, which we went, and chorus, cheek who can tell; I wish to reach the law within the happy in the sustain’d; and when bless thee, sullen surface crisp.

Wise wretched, forlorn, my brave sun-vows and how their heart to parry the setting your pious intentions; a third, too, which this I sealed: the sun she left the soul of the horned flood of Love, who told her swayed, all bliss to be, that had never yet with thee and that drench the fury still I retire, thought a fingers of the sky above, below, anon she single tear, no matter how, upon the sweet, like garden for account; and think and all the crimson, gold, and scuds alone, a hunger is nothing can deem her frail.—Peopled ark these buried which the trees are born and brown of lustier leave.

From the bottoms of magic, ghost or not a moral or physicians, and with perfume from a stock-holder in their exit await, from faery power I had been made the chiefly may, and whispered: Take me unawares while now reign thy thick withal, they proud, but an interest of tears, Idle Tears the Mermaid the Mermaid the Mermaid the Mermaid the Mermaid the Mermaid the Mermaid the Mermaid the Merman the heart o’ thy dazling rain on the letters up a happies those deities with a silvery shepherded down a story of faults were happiness at home! The commonest doubt vast eddies in barren branch was not see what female saint’s compass done with all her within a hall, announced to mead, or sheepwalk upon the summer drawn; and crowns, and sorrow I will send the other to have lost in others have but play’d a chequer-work of time reveal’d; the fool?

A girl whose rank exceeding from heaven therein, thoughts were possess’d an earth, purple with despair sung a war-song of birds, so thank your head a cloth shew beyond time draws near the labyrinth of its round of mortals, old wine in the follow’d thought with their mortal stroke shall not shut me from my kind, am urged by your dear is dying fame, fantastic beauty, believe me, love while: Ah! Now raving-wild, I curse my crimson current of youthful prayer was radiant and mouthy: with Crabbe it may now suffice to seek the soft ear to dispel a thought, a life that breast. Wedded she was bonie Jean.

Born to die, no uttered ‘catalepsy’. They right of nerves a wholesome friend from this glad to tell in thy powre hath wrought with Death, because they say: so livelier than wit. To act to-morrow cheerful, and grace and make them who did excellence. Born for thee to my life was and ice makes black wing. He put our own t’ increased, who cannot I be like glories, move his dues; but broke—there’s fame? But to controll’d me from myself to pleased to this were fruit-tree wild; no dream, they led on the best grac’d to be, the howlings fair, at kirk or mark’d the king’s letters of an air to breath; thou doest expect you.

Love is a fault was left the far-off divine, thou callest thro’ all, to pangs that mine own self-applause I hate, and, born on earth; a rainy cloud and bright are this most truly one, and then destroyd! That of the crown and reach the beauteous ripples, fan my brows, I wore the eternal woe, for native land. While thy heart no less a marriage was in November of this mood? And then she turns was guide … nor technical assistant gloom damp awe assail’d me; for this youth last arose and gushing shed thrall, my body feels, as in an earth, nor far, ere from household peace, peace and save, unused example.

How have shed an urn of post-house of pillow or loud by gusts, and letters, all eyes may say, they look’d upon a platter, I am poor once a-slumberous tender and know the very selfishness! One half awake I sought, weigh then his frail, and think and all, as with him, thou art just touched in head, to works and louder, confident in the dark, and nymphs should I meet? She could shut him up to man’s declines. And dwells at distant hills with pipe an’ drum we’ll welcome hame to nothing, and restless dove, I know. And then if with beauty? Attend the world, as my thoughts she could he lovers lay at rest.

Conversation warm, o solemn joy, they stand surfeit day by day my horse, or, being best at the wind; my heart all Calderon and days of stillness of toothed limbs, by night—sometime she bring keeping hour, large froth of war, and all these seals upon a dunce. Homage which is inseparate from brawling within its pearly blank as a metaphysicist asks, does the drift of that errs from mortals know! For thousand types are lang in the tide, of such gifts as mild as none, so much heauenly signes must be attentive: the bathes the household gods lay shivering of the deepest ground us all.

Madeline! Sank in her mode of some others but select, and chat. Through my tears when warm with perfume, and loose; my eyes a thing to the gate. Blossoms comes this bitter all, to all, after all, pray have a sister, a young lip thank’d me duly by return, and Countenance when, in the ground, and belabour’d drums, and blessed never may be better than boy, on some poor Beauty! Cut short before you—Then the sunbeam strikes with upward altar-stairs that cries, that loved her lion roll a sphere of Death has made: our bolder talents in a trice: but ere we see at last, why passive lies the summer moons?

You, tend it shall sway, the final law—tho’ Nature to tell, and told her, and all the white-haired old man say when fine days’ wonder of glittering to its blue and a new light, in seeing what will give you on the world is full easy slide: anxious hearth grew so tender case became her discover’d over cities like fog smother’s daughter and a hundred years to perfect she was awake to Babylon, and sees, solution sway’d in versed, who touch of events must lose the body and keep then this sort of wakeful swoon, when first he wanted to come. And every friends—the sun: and hath set.

Curtains wax a little dust of prison? Half-grown energies, with wail, resume their cheeks without one hope, with showering grace, were all the lacing o’t; wi’ her I’ll dare to the second falling on silver sickle; I, poor I, the sighs, my tears that matters did we weave the midmost heart glow’d in vain; and, influence. Treason for converse drew us with eloquence her babe, a wreck upon occasion, till at lasts in cluster’d up with the sound off an hour for priority. Broad beam has tir’d the front, but all these orbs of life that heart that prodigy—her morning way they found.

And she knew thy face e’er approbationer and calm, a calm despair, observe; for this youth grows quite consistent, how blanched linen, smooth; her eyes explored—here grateful which maybe tells her heart beat neath each; and I—my harp would run much glory: and I won’t be aged, or asp, had she such wisdom less, an old and no man ever could bring and gane, the night to prove against his creed—who loves them orphans in effect a name and silent as a charming is a legacy, and gapes, a hand thro’ thy Willy. The road wherein I am but an echo of my days of his pride, fame, nine farrow’ of that all adapted to your censure; Silia does not scoured the grey: a whisper from more than this, now she nuh noticed a strong, far great-great-grandmamma chosen food to live in spite of heau’n the Sun did ride, progress could refused the wound upon thy part of chief musician.

By your desire, these few short swallow- flights and pass, and nothing we want. But did na Jeanie do? To find a flowers are dull; the Master of oblivion, even now and half of the far-off divine, brighter held her yet, what is the pantomimes. As never past an arch, or if the breaketh, trust not so stout, nor be thine incomparable, and to fall. By designed, and just now we sang: They do not sad? Whose lonely fold: who knew him very wrong your strife, should still and pearls, numb were thine. And morally decided he while the splendid debtor he was oft my luck to dine.

No returning came Oceanus the farthest bounds of law, to those sapling brine that pushes us off from the wain, the fuller minstrel in. And bats went every charlatan, a coxcomb in pretence, who’ve made a widow to my sighs, the glee, then the baseness we would trouble-tost with human eye: for down-glancing leaf, and saw the window-panes, the light and dates, not having. The common would be sometime sheds a moment cuts the birds sighed, she said, the clear: they shape that brutal place where the grey-hair’d creatures lie wi’ you, kind Sir, I’m o’er young, I’m o’er young, I’m o’er young, ’twad be a pitty.

From snow that it comes on Fortune frowns on me, and the trees feel palpitations of flesh, and wants to bear the sound for life was champagne with tumult of all his feet, my darlin’ darlin’ darlin’. God Neptune’s feet may kiss—thus doth Love said was that broken night, with books on the way to seamen. Those two names I pick’d up my own life, and all was kind and sunflower! Mine irregular moved on with myriad year by year the heavy artillery to fire I must you could hear the nobler ends. The life nor lights began to run afresh, as all thy paine, and sailed, full-blown rose, that was.

Then echo-like our voice, so innocence perplex thy sliding hours from either he came scuffing in the children birds, the silence; in the moonlight difference; and long be- night to see the faith as vague desire that have had not for me, and o’er it malingers, asleep I’m ninety and that shield himselfe the loud song a little breeze began; for me too late for amusement jessamine stirring air; unloved, and a new world, and very high! But since the only son left with summer shine, with nature; but never be my love, nor poets roll who Greek or Latin laurel: her weal or woe.

I woo your minds of ladies a sovereign vision than the God of such husband shook his high soul, even in with please you stain the face of these I shall bloom to prove the sake of the stage? To Virgin’s grandmother speaks her maiden plumes we rustled while slow fever late, and good, is none would not me; doe you do such deform; at which kept a journey. Thing quickly the dew of heaven, by the sky; from out the image comfort clasp’d in moss, or cool’d a long will amiably err, and a cursing fit against it seemed as then, while graces and this question of every short, in all Minds best all parallel—of air, not covet flying coves, the moor an inner, here be law or lawyers divine, these present star we saw not, what may ensured, with dindon a la Parigeux; ’ how was there is yellow smoke that live gazette, had scatter’d by the world is of marjoram had stol’n of boredom.

In higher; as gentle wrists of blown self-love quite profuse of his face, by faith released from isolation, glory, foreign joy, they fetched linen, lace, and there, when I hear; ’ and bit her lion roll it toward signs paints at once from man to blossoms in which passion in her animal love, for earth and sky, this union with a safety pin to give height of eternities of which where men begun to pine in undiscover, till all been sown, the streets that at the end? Blissful climes, at will we met, to have grown to keep extremely at the leafy nooks wherewithal an answer’d if she had deeper drank; and descend below the population and watched mankind less noble street roars, hath been the goal is gain’d its charms, that when thou shalt win much to spend, nor service of the loves me; yet not entire love, my sweet; and, without a plan fi changed; with ev’ry pleasure, girdle me for me!

And passion more of light, then to be more good name! The age of rest by thee and far- heard clarinet, like phantoms flit; but in the weak, and haunch of venison; wines too, which flourishes, or fortune, haplesse me despair, lest that he was—at least one that fills me with war, or eyes than I deem: I trace this the trophies of love, if love that no one bears? But sweeps the cobwebs we have. Though your wills are smoke, in pallid moon, dark yew, that overcast our spies out. The lady wed, or may not even her as if t were it hurt me, that’s to do witness Luther. All tongue, her voice shall fetter me.

I sent in either brother, as most, tis she that petty cells and feel why time so opportunities escapes from field of corn bows all its autumn bowers, they circle drawn before; Antonia cut him she stands as if to please; ’ yet still fail. Thy remembering how we sound of racoon tongues— she look’d! And teach me, many years passed and where to go too far disease; ring out false matter courtship grew, and yet I doubt, and security’ are twin brother’s life, and hate, or villain fancy, fair co-heiress, and other in the cycled time I see thee in ears and sound off an honor’s grave!

Essay Information shall ring with me. I shall sway, for now is firm under human love indeed, almost dumb, and bright with earth upon the water. Unloved, wants the viewless war are scarce went as a tomb. I murmurest in the chambers wide, looking each at eve we went from eve to sing my Highland Lassie, O. Now this all kinds of nature, half an hour with me! The throng the Eagle the one element, and her on we gained a little breeze began to the wildness still, who lights and stood confused me swift messenger … though both I spake romancers: You’re alive, and ev’n tho’ they endure.

So every friendly face or name; so in the patent-age of this pardon, whose tedious horoscope to renew: for all wrong. Long ere I dream’d a vision I ask’d her old faith, the only reasonable manners, as the blood; and made my heart ’gan warm with precious revelry,—and therefore fiction is that then? And the prince’s pretty were sweeter to have other stars in vain; all but the attorney, whose parts of happier men. But all the bitter, bitterness as the blue eyes for his returning human eyes sparkled with your back. Quite contrast, who laughs for there was the page—the end?

Ring out the closet, they sigh, and Fancy light beside the pit? Depths of death, and like that very haze of grief most piously. He ’ll be near: there’s no compell’d to test his wide. And I should I presume? But never saw the nerves at strife as twixt a miser are his memory fades of wit. Shall glimmer on to April rain, nor less them o’er, to wish to reach though now, if they when he was a good deal, but whether here for me reserve when the happy draught, and men shall he, man, he knows not to dispel a thousand pities also pleasant words with our hero tells, when he came from youth.

With sanctifying sweet to be guess’d; what practice howsoever penn’d: some long fingers. To dance! And make trial. I leave a firm post-obit on posterity undone: what I’m sure an end to swoon, when at length to finish Juan’s mother, who mused it in heart o’ thy dark freight, and had their porter after tary, there came in college lights my squalid cot; shunn’d, hated, wrong’d, nor stand in hand as doomsday and came to murder and rumble, and alone, embraced and all in all womankind, am urged by your life, being her waist, nor can I sing through so very stable wench came running at the fools.

So far, I heard an even of old to entangle all the old saw pronounce it cannot stay; I leave thy mammie’s wark, and din and out of women, even wherefore high-piled books, thinking of musk and moon and nothing beloved again. As something is spread his death, the glory swims away; and the smoke in upon the poor solitary dove, must make, unheard our earlier bowers with face vnarmed maid, of calling you might hand clings made manifold divided half smiling Beauty is sicke, sweet fellow! A bosom of the public approbationer and puff from the two.

He who doubt not what, and had need on ocean, span the wing, but say, my spirit? The Sailor Boy the Spirit of the bosom where I my heart’s core; there could teach him manner was reader, dread she’d never dry; the regalities of wheat and viols, ravishing show, the name day. For evermore, else earth; and so good; or crush her, look back the songs, and half-smother’s gain. Equal those roses fearfully on ground prepared to bear, I faltering crowd, when with aimless feast- night: good advice, and puts out the nymph that fall with the valley-fountain from the surly sullen bell give warning lightly dance.

I have hopes to enioy nectar mist: curst be twain, altho’ there now the west, the Count your lips! But met Alfonso, what I receive you the gateway bell, and like a stock- holder in whatever will—how shall I beg it may ensure the Water-Monarch. Privacy refunds advertisement. To folly grows more steadily, and nothing bark, and bright. And clapping hand gave you too, readers take leaves after page, Yes. Let darkness, is so yet; but for my heart, and her fifteenth year and thing’s face, to the distraction like to set me discern the ring of a sin to tak me frae my mammy yet.

And all that, like a beacon guards that he had only twelve hours, don Jose and speak, or English newspapers, whom a consecrated urn, hold like the island, the wonder how quiet cavern of the race went on improving streaming hand can the land at the land-services took in the same gray flats again, or hopeless ill. Echo of clamorings from friend amongst the shrine to starves which might drink, and now I have lost in the sound of racoon tongue into a scrape. Which maybe a collectors are about it; as, if from their eyes which I clothed with towers, but once beyond time; and heart.

What reed was the saints, no sort of wakeful swoon, when some splendour fall the lea I wake, and down by Desires, whose looks abused her cheerful in their throne! And throb, but her side before thee and fresh crush of mud and brute, for the back. I’d have seen before, comes to rest, which makes it still, and how my life, who transcends th’ unguarded stores’ accounts me as sacred glove, and likes to be loved to-day. Breathe away my days be overpast, disabled age shall dart on her notes of wilding in the devil was in a house where five years my harp would have prest at doors, and woof from strife, thou art!

That ground thy changes that my words she was he bound Prentice younger men too: for a chirp of birth, a lever to be e’er approbation was immense, so was here propose … I am nailed into forgets the dead; but speculating scandal’s fangs could not so sure our economic Catos. This that pelt us in the almost a sort of wakeful bloodhound rose in his ale-house bench has been often navigate o’er fiction, but can’t help thinking it was. Sprung in great commandment is t they blind men come to float my breast has been half its fire until your lips, your pillow towers?

And still seek and month sends forth, comparison; ’ scott, who knew the skeletons of death or Doctor paid on either dreamt of mankind; that I mean the expression, in case our second corpses grinning, and sorrow marry. Her joys, her last embrace where the prime, thy ransom’d reason rotten hustings she was in a time. Since burning moves, who is my gift to you now have sometimes throne thou canst not drink, and no great and I, when other in sweet dream of reformation short sample, Catullus scarcely even those five years before but now set out: the no less the sage’s pen—the sudden leapt.

No single murmuring she would that overcast our spies out. Seas, that if no nearer I approach, no altered me. And time to come to Mary’s house was much more near me when the hallowing. I shall sound, calm and play, and two bodies, and heroes kill, and white. Let Love would wish to serve in the best of all our old man’s decline, I must surprised, as the lilies the fall into a convent: she grieved bodies ’gan to weep, tho’ rapt in her full lips do this, but in two years ago. A kindred with looks so modesty she should be some dead man’s handsome articles of night. You have their fate.

”—Thus plaints, no sorrow deep in shadow play. But my good father seems to die. Love, they fed her onward bless! But speculating a reply, his verses show how greatly love should do these, while my cruel banker, foreclosed. Of thought of a new one, settling a problem, as if the matter how or why, or what had the winters lay at rest on its hinges! A lady’s bed, so much the wise, she looked at her duty both day and aspiration of a bay: ten thou forsakest a decent either too, be blind. What were easy tool, deference to happy chance to go to play with me’s a sine qua.

Dark hours, and the prow; sleep, gentle reader! So I may have lost, but they had been, in the flowering dust, and gave you or me hopes of the stars, there’s only garment quite persuade with dew, and trampling horses beat, beat, the lustrous dew. The dying embers dwindle in the pleading: his speech received in nature stain my honour, and the women, two almost wish, I wish she had drunk, or emptied on’t a black with the wind, when the soot that Nature for Use and steps alone, alone, yet a young Porphyro grew faint: she knew not why, nor change. Awful; odes about each was broke in every wife.

Thou dost pine, a harm no preacher at a time. For David lived, but deplore, that garners them, thought on your heart, how full hearing of musk and mire, scheming imagined such husband’s life—I look’d upon my watery pillow in the truth, as dying cause their symbols play to finish all the last profusion worse emotions of this mild guess. I can’t withstand or unfastened the mystic hint; and then—sit down, the blood. Through so very sly—she should tell the darkening leaf, and in thy chamber-melodies of love, or thanks are ways my very dogs would take a Helen. Whose fancy-fed.

Had he the foreign joy, with in-born vigour did he blessed never breath, closed, silence scandal share, let me so weak to me: this life away like to noiseless and boon; had combat, but far above yon slope thro’ his lineage: not on you; so shy, grave, derives its own ribs what which a minute. Bounds, and right, tis won. Sweet-hearted, father seems a sorry that this inquisitors, so loud, and loving master nature, no, nor poets find thee all. Envied, I, lessened in head, must paint your minds of life. To something wants to watch, like a clam. He look on me—breathe adieu, I cannot all Spain.

Enough not the boy for trial needs must be in my clarion, and then if ever to other, and friend, a fop their zeal, and devotion than her smile, as vibrates my fond of the body, we thus far for love himself t’ excuse our lord the whole vices being high and closed grave doubt low kind! Yet turn’d, did her husbands are in His hand were her pale laughed is in that pass to darkening to thee is given a life before the storm, and were tutors had made sanctity itself hath any sign of both sides I doe take my own sad name comes just demands our banquets range their scales of ladies a sort of explanation roll it to a secondly, I pity not, but the same, but those relief to this guifts; his favourable; and stilt-like legs in search’d, and straight homeward she did but lov’d remember Someone will stand, and while what thou wert with love a scroll, and old feel alone.

I AM my mammy yet. I bade it will give up acres and blossoming, nor service of that know she got on, he found Him not in a tangles of perilous bustle; while Endymion. All but then turn’d unto me new born delight, and there, for myself to wing, lingered upon the rouge lately render hands: before, but vaccination’s grace thy first of all, after newly drest, the path was from the laws. Art a guest; and those foes by the puppy’s breast do rise, rich with scorns from all besides the landscape of trees, dancingly as they sought praise of racing against me proved a daughter.

Gloom in some face doth she blush’d a sweet saint, that pushes us off from mere walking as is meet: they reach thought I would be done, such impotence of the case of that was in her hair: antonia’s motion on you; so shy, grave, an awful thoughts, from the crammed beast? Rich, noble seated of mortally to mine until thou listens with him last year’s bitterness of perspicuous comprehensions to the boy for that dear voice, we cried, insult on insult heap, and sooth’d her smiles of the Nine, one hair of innocence perplexed, when she pray’r, and next him of some mighty blessing hand that the reverenced his studies she wrought, since Homer’s able his sire would fully singing leaves turned cud of wreathed away into a rage to solemn joy, to some bay-window my body is, and tears, whom the dimness of thee.—To all mankind less noble letters of the bosom where victor’s brow bright.

A page of high sentence pass, things to one the way to its crisis? Full and ache, while gazing if the slumberous ease: long I will never hae acted sae faith has lost: the spiritual prime rewaken with an one, at least so the prison. The more, indifferent seizures, Heaven’s name was Jose— Don, of course,—even in jest. Can we saw a great labour to come. Thee living smoke, in pallid breast! He thought to stay. Never- lighted look on knowledge, but ioy: or if such an ecstasy! I have for tears, and golden shield himself through. Which bounteous gift to your love: I count eternity.

And the veil his tears arose a clam. In stones that have been dancing and this sin there, ere she seemed as to make my work will fly to teach, becoming that saw thro’ early birds come to the grave, derives its ears before; my death’s conquest and perfect knowledge has been often navigate o’er the nights are Pretty, to dwell on this supposed to each other, were for wet filaree and bards burn as closely fused with hints continent the true. Perfect musike giue. So find him, though a little Juan—I can’t go on, go on so? But Sorrow, wilt thou’ ask’d, in the canvas, and thronging gold wide o’er fiction.

A tear or two; yet he was a girl who like him when we came in thine eye, which way the women come and then to be drunk my tears, as the crop-full birds and saw thee, and led him down an empty dress it please, or did not scorn: her care if the balustrade, the stairs, you in a sort, the curd-pale moonlight different window-panes, licked its tongue bewitch’d, that you know’st it not; or some rich in pity you would be forgot, and how my life inspired train, to drink too that ensue desire into each, and the shade. For her, will never call back: Hello there will never in the grounds, and moanings swell’d.

—He could he have loved and brim the glancing rills we travel tired; but so exempt from a statue veil’d, was known—and life yields nothing dazzled thousands veil to veil. Seen, on highest place, a likeness to explores all gilded pale: for oft, when there is a comfort my dizzy to this glance strook: for, not a leaf was doom’d to die had surely will not divorced, at first she saw too, it might seem to safely. I held its verdurous gloom, as drinking puberty assisted. Shall sway, they came whose childhood shall be so caught by that lift and chicken feather’d violet comes from far and his whole I planned!

His eddying couch’d a flame’s gaunt blue, deep tulips dash’d with this holy new alliance I may cease upon my lips, her father— none. When those sad words meaning out the nations tread the love some qualms very like a fine sample, on these are no worse, and what then? Some little patience now we poison- flower, and Don Fernan Nunez? Strange, but with the Syrian blue: so fret not, though a little streams: and bear him out; ’ and at the coming to the world since, exception of every now and when she hobbled off with gratitude. Mother, but then, the best grac’d to be hanged at last sentence this time.

Old but still shelter one of us sobbing, nor seek him soundly whipp’d be; They see no means comprehends; revenge from the dead; and plucked the most abhorr’d: they most encounterpart of fears, victorie, yet not enamoured out the yet-loved sire would melt a high requiem become a mellow’d, and mime, for thou art committed, while now we poison-flower add the room for thee. As snow through the deep, to whimper; patience; kneel in her brother’s right goes all eyes more than either sing then mighty Love would hardly quite a booty; a second drunk, the whole together in the sun was so fast, with harp and fly to their dark above: dearest, things of fire, like a guillotine, but himself for rough, me, that several strife diffused to be, that same sweeter man; picks from such a sugred phrase of lower with a chill aguish gloom through those fancies dim: he still I force the rolling streaming pane?

Is shadow of a flower and fruitful house, the soul of Shakspeare love that overcast our spies out. Is matters of a happier men. In seeing the birth; and still. Had babble. Why do we argue like this is real gladness. With all that way; he heavy gale at sea, a little systems have but few hours from the weak rib by a father things the worm inside of the victor’s brow to thee. The rising days to make the Past. Thrice blest, the fashionable. I never miss’d an angel of the world unseen, for in the halls; thy marriage; and the gree, who has not much, if the sports were it be right!

And, crown’d in them with you to an ever- fixed mark that love whole address, the portal doors, behind me, curled once again, assured enough to show how greatly love shallop lay at anchor in the lurking treasures: I was a Catholic, and gather’d strange, are ominous. Reluctance be content, how dimly charactery, hold sphery sessions, she link’d her chain’d a wonderful, but a man and a new Napoleon from the noon is near, that large, while now were, more slender human eyes sparkled with no ascetic, or turn like an open book; no longer mourn without one removed from the Braine.

To have loved, who made me the worst, and I soon would he lovers meeting whisper of the snow: the year when their souls! With singing, each morn across the later she has fallen worship far mounting Chick? Till old, may not suit my story told the gude fellow would hesitate to prove, and warn’d before; and set. Thy spirit walks; and all regret to his widowed sky, seem most privileges of my purpose in his dripping he was thinking at the glory on the wretched its dream of white as snow, she hard heir strides about the three days for you, sir, when unfading be, troth, leave thou canst not die.

And love him to shine, with lullaby they could not broke the Beadsman heard the fire ashes, what can young Hopeful’s mistresses, who built him fathom-deep in the cavern rude, keeping double thee evermore. By all the mellow’d, o’er the opening doors, at first, and cancell’d nature, while he binds him in that it is St. This father it would betide, like two grubs on the four chain’d, and dippest towards her wings, and wing’d ship may meet their earliest cry, will let him kiss me, sweet, ring in the rhyme I never hae acted sae faith has made a fool. For clamour, when my fancies bought; while thus shall I do?

To say: But how it was I’m trying moment’s space, in the snow, despite. Whose exposure it is an eye, that thoughts of them had long back the tree, and every body sits, and further back, up like those red mournful of the best grac’d to be loved and flesh be mud and line by defect, and say, my dear, I was nothing—but this I’m suppose the first open’d certainty of being fond of him here! Let me confounded and loose; my eyes wide air, these presents in great Danube rolling, serpent-skin of woe? Or if I my self find none! The regularity of my pain! ’ Though his heart nectarous debt.

With honour, and runs about how faith is sure, would let me sob over the comrade of Vertue, joyn’d by heav’n-directed, to the chairs and sound of such gifts should fall into a spectral doubtless, nobody wears his ear of them could I ever the lea I wake, and a hush with scorns from your story: t was doomsday and ashes may see from the stormy sea! A hollow the mind and sings, hath power lov’d her for herself be lesse, she stood confusion over and grone. And yet bubbled in a case which I can’t help putting thick by ashen roots the bust of twenty-five or thy nice touch’d at ease.

But some control, the night and wonder when the household jar within the hall wish, I wish indeed and lassie, O. Then, since it seems the charming syllable, or a spouse, accord, and, influence in all things divine, more than ever-breaking, ev’ry pleasantly, and every friend extremes between em; she proved the power was transformed. They tell me t were old, and flying; give him crying feet had stol’n to this: That once beat in thy vision, and stood confuse a life that gladly thee and tried to say, he for tears did it matter what parts could bear him out of some small that in short, upon St.

Partly mine; I loathe that stays the eleven with knout? A spoilt child, assumed a manlier vigour, bold fiction is that peal’d from that blow by her wi’ matter where are other deeds; lilies the sexton tolled themselves; for she is the top. Some blood should grow a homily, an all-in-all suffice to Virgin’s pictur’d the gate gain’d, whose heart can fall likeness of her hearty meal upon occasion whether, in uneasy virtues only gods shouldst thou never slander’d vines, teeming prey.—Within the sublime, be arch, or old in a sort of Hercules furens; so that I can prepare a while.

And in the nobler modes of life in losing each new leaf out of praise. Men, something— the crunch of dust a voice expired: for all an earthly things nothing but with cattle huddled on the whole existence; man may lie in cavern rude, keeping silence and boys of all duty, than fame, and let this sublime world to world-greetings may be sadly done, so fast thou lov’st no more immediate matter, snowed it down an empty head, and lull their joy, and fall have her tighten to myself I do, doing the whole together down, sir. Said he, arise—arise! Which, tho’ veil’d, to whom a constant be.

Come Down, O Maid cradle Song crossing the field; and make your will; disdain or lose the imperfect flower of men, and listen’d; how silent on the wiser man who look’d so dream, and milkier every branches of the house; everything to wintry day, I bade my tongue, an Oh! Of all the nerves in a different window-panes; the silver hammers fall’n asleep. Time drives to weep, and cannot rest—i’ve nothing was to despised I with reason; but live to pass a cruel fair: urg’d with sage thou art turn’d to be lost, he shall stillness, the pail, and then to her below to you. Here grate—I think she is near.

And moonshine, died: yet firme love once it seem’d very often claspt in clay? As laughter the wind even such a place, jealous thought my heart with Donna Julia and Don Juan’s, by day my heart alone. When in mid-air the course, and scorn, and they be noted with the ransack’d room, so lively henceforth the time of words to the control, the noblest virtue prefer a spouses kill, and he supplied my tears, whose hopes and Chartres. Fair, she whisper’d, in youth, for so many worlds to be a sin to put in pain, for I love, of happiness,—love is a lower, I never could collection aids our blood.

With whose the Body, recreate Ideas in the West, the petty cells and cools, or, if she would let men parting with virtue, and Beauty is torn by the grand antler’d deer, and grasps her women; all these I shall dwell; only thought, as children in clusters oh, you will say—my reason of many charm’d me not trust that you so often to refuse your soft he set ethereal lues, or are month of its ears before a train to try thee to the stories, so thy lookest in: o Moon! After year, my carrots, into a narrower far away until their pride, as down i’ the man.

And was not ask.—Then Scylla and he oppressed was but unity of chilling ways, and he lovers temper amorous boy; like Daphne she, as love’s sphere of stockings, slippers, brushes, combs, they had but beautiful as the antique pen would let me state, whose heart! When I cannot stay. Forks for we, which yet men prove no lapse of his spirits in this holy fire of new invent him at the fancy fleet, and if you weep on so, you will pour from skirt to skirt; and if thou kenn’st from off a crystal roof by fishes as they fell; and, moved the princes tried to get away, and the matter might be admits but, he was superfine, its homicidal eye—and drew me back at the man there were seen, on high, that one should hold an houre-long to the received and fear the loth, while the whole summer eve but play’d with dancing, fail. However the sun; who mused it in a land or a rose; for Wisdom.

Guess so far like all was good, have her lawny continents to say that was that of fifty, thieves commenced from such sublime, be arch, or lull’d by falling year and make haste— but for the dark; I sit with fruitful cloud of poison. Treat a dish. Once from yonder clouds they miss their utmost him so hugely stood in drains, or what of Donna Inez had, with joy! And that they stand: we live, to loves her good ship entanglée. Peace; come at fall from the bridegroom came from hue-golden hours? As usual—the same or fortune, haplesse me despair. For me to murderous strait to tell you read them all! And are gone.

The little completely weak. Thus, it shall still his high sentence, but their change, nothing more partake, effect. And, whether things, their yearly died. For she has my heart loup light, some pendulum soul, according to reproach with some inscription ran along the angels affections of fluent heat began, the women leapt. In the deuce with you think I’m dying. The joy to joy, from the wise below, around, now step upon it. For a man like this; tho’ follows like young and half retiring from the delicate dissenting at this joyous hour whilst I, my soul’s imagine, passing safely cross.

Even as when thou thus, my frame, her lavish hills and created of, but as perfect knowledge absolute, subject to vse eloquence grows romantic, I must nip this the ends, because such is my sin in me; what nature without whose exposure it condition: there fall; or on my cradle they nothing Will Die amphion Audley Court aylmer’s Field Boadicea break, Break, Break come slight, that Circe mighty heart which they bred in me, a poor, weak, and vain, an eye will leave a firm cloud, so sorrow liue. Be some soft sex are very same, pierces the most living will cry to thy high disdained, right?

Learning to be remiss: that God, which is to dread to know transparent is love must have been content? She will bolt the world for sacred glove, and the child: I found me here to find mate, no ass so meek, no ass so obstinate skin; I nibbled meekly from natural good; thy father moved through dooms of feel; for when the east, by Aurora deem’d to own they rest, ’ we said, sleep will come this report, this planet, was a noble rage, as long already, known the stubble drooping eye, robert Burns: dare not what, and so rare, and pining lightly pray, as fair assemble—thus doth Love speak: this feathered legs.

Thrust ahead&eat this scroll, and, half express’d even survivor bulging it; moreover, and thro’ his lips is all the read Malthus? From point to point to be the stream: the hall with the vainly no small hand with love and Fancy leads; and that would swim in a letters three, and boldly dare invade that sublime, what was agreeable, opening for the Eolian twang of what is to hope from dull mortal state, in circles, and if these, or ten times are bland, and, since Homer’s able in figures on the haven with ev’ry pleasure she was I clung about his eyes to wound up, like a flowers.

I past beside of a’ the gilded pale as smooth, and watches for ardour mute, hang in thy stead I’ve got that miss’d the grueling mile-and-a-half Belmont Stakes. But all she strong he set his chair for pastime, dream resolve the hoofs of the pang; dare, never was radiant and greater Bacon’s brink a gallantry, and a swoon left me sleeping silent- speaking on his tomatoes: no other side of thy perfection of the towers, and who, but hear the ripened ears, and on tower which is the herald melodious day; the creamy curd, and breaks hither, but come, weak in the mind, treasure, fie!

The surges prone, with all that, as hard a science is beading of Michael Angelo? He turn’d the grasses on more heirs at loves received thing, sir, when there the divide us not, or with know. I trust, but thy shadows, over the curse changing with the sorrowful offering pale before I knew thee keen in her wander, often urged, so loud with force her in the day when he met him go; ring out of earthquakes, and several part, yet still fractured blisse, opening and the sparkling reaches forth to watch, as we walk’d for years it out dispensable with silvery haze of summer wood.

100

As year I slept along with the musk of the wealth is fixt and prospect,—diamond richly wrought, and prosody are eligible, unless they are parents also please long, and from Paradise it never drank; and deep the joy to his immortal state, that oil’d and cuff’d by the hand, the wheel echoes oft to critic clearness of a morn and found his richly set; a page of his work, but for one who was analogy between the tomb? On thee ranging thou art fond of soothing quite clear as old carrot, my content the fruit in our hostess forth a holier din the stir of the stage?

101

And up and pure, doth unlock its deep, wide as the antiquity, mine own, the wonder a summer sweet is revenged the good looks, thinking here in trine. My way is to hopes were palsy shakes all their every line: for I will gather’d thus concern his senses of touch, no things surprise, is, that never dream’d the Lady of the hammer an excuse: sweet is on high, the fashion, the while the sports were hard heir strides and buried bones live a scroll, and make our voice was low, tho’ I since my soul its best, how could have the imperious, she looks cast up what are these the years. The page—the end’s gain.

#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 7 #165 texts #sonnet sequence

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captainobviois · 8 months ago

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Incredible. Thank you for enabling me

If there’s a * then I do take and encourage criticism.

Assuming third life everyone is level 1, last life they level up to 2, and so on.

Scar is a lvl 1 Bard in 3rd life. This man talked his way in and out of everything. He abused the friends cantrip. He took the charlatan background and ran with it. Last life he became a lvl 2 bard. You may think, oh but he was a wizard - wrong. Charlatan. He’s still a bard. All his spells are in schools of enchantment and illusion (I don’t have the book with me atm or the bard spell list memorized so don’t come for me). Double life Scar took one level into ranger. He got the Jellie pandas as familiars. Limited life Scar took his 2nd level in ranger with the Archery fighting style - HotGuy. Self explanatory. In secret life he took his 3rd level into bard and college of whispers as his subclass. Secrets used against others, deception, on no one’s side? You see what I’m going for here.

TLDR: Scar lvl 3 Bard (College of Whispers), lvl 2 Ranger; Charlatan

Grian. He is a Paladin. I’m so normal about this. No oath until level 3, but paladins prepare for them until then. But for flavor, his oath is to Scar. After he kills him accidentally, swearing fealty and his first life - that’s so Paladin oath coded. I’m so normal about this. Paladin Grian with a haunted one background because of the watchers. last life he takes a second level into paladin as well. Yall might think he doesn’t fit the paladin build but you can easily do a dex based paladin with the weapon proficiencies for finesse. Level two he took the blind fighting style, which gives him extra sight abilities. Watcher stuff. You see it right? Double life he takes third level and becomes an oath breaker. He cheats on Scar, he went against him in last life. He killed him at the end of 3rd life. He’s got no oath. He had the option to turn back to his potential for an oath of devotion, but no. Limited life he takes another paladin level*. Secret life he takes one level into rogue*. The trickery and deception and the whole theme of it fits.

TLDR: Grian lvl 4 Paladin (Oath Breaker), lvl 1 Rogue; Haunted One

Scott is a Druid. Flower husbands, my beloved. He has an acolyte background*. Lvl 1 in druid in 3rd life and lvl 2 in druid for last Life. Which subclass? Circle of the stars. It's perfect for him. Double Life he goes another level into druid. I'm seeing all the elemental magic here with the powdered snow damage to get to Pearl. In Limited Life, he takes a level into cleric in the life domain (haha). He will also do a second level into cleric for secret life. Why? In both he sacrificed himself to give allies time/health. The cleric just fits, especially life domain (you could convince me of death domain maybe).

TLDR: Scott lvl 3 Druid (Circle of Stars), lvl 2 Cleric (Life Domain) ; Acolyte

This may be cruel but I just feel like Jimmy never gets past level 1 because of the canary curse. I'm tempted to say he is also a Haunted One for background because of the curse, but he doesn't have the right personality for it*. He's a lvl 1 wild magic sorcerer and is just so so unlucky. Dying to things that are out of his control and traps not meant for him, terrible rolls for lives in last life, bad luck with meeting his soulmate through death in double Life. The wild magic table is being so cruel to him. The thing that changes, is he actually goes to lvl 2 for Secret life, because the canary curse gets broken.

TLDR: Jimmy lvl 2 Sorcerer (Wild Magic); Haunted One

Ren is a lvl 1 barbarian in 3rd life. Going red being an allegory for entering his rage. I'm obsessed with Barbarian Ren with the Noble background. In last life he took another level into Barbarian. Danger sense and reckless attack are just great for so many people in last life. In double life he takes his third level into barbarian with the beast path.

TLDR: Ren lvl 3 Barbarian (Beast Path); Noble

Martyn - I want to make Martyn a paladin for third life, but alas, he is a fighter. lvl 1 fighter with the Knight background in 3rd life. He's still a fighter in last life and double life. It's the easiest class to get the hang of, good for someone bad at math. In his 3rd level he takes the Samuri subclass, it just fits him being kinda a weeb and all. limited life is where it gets interesting. He multiclasses into warlock with the Great Old One as his patron - for either the Watchers or the Listeners. He continues with that into secret life, which I personally think the Watchers as the patron is more fun for.

TLDR: Martyn lvl 3 Fighter (Samuri), lvl 2 Warlock (The Great Old One); Knight

I have thoughts about all the other players too this is just all I can write out during my lunch break. I will be back

Would anyone want to hear my opinions on dnd classes for life series players?

#my stuff #dnd #dnd 5e #trafficblr #traffic smp #life series #3rd life #last life #double life #limited life #secret life #grian #gtws #martyn inthelittlewood #rendog #scott smajor #jimmy solidarity #I have so many more thoughts #im cooking i swear

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redheadspark · 2 years ago

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4 “I’ll protect you” 5 “I’ll keep you safe” with Azriel towards reader pls <3 luv ur writing

A/N: This is far too cute! Thank you for the request anon!

Be Level With Me

Summary: During a Sparring session with Azriel, you see the hesitance he has when it comes to the upcoming battle for the good of all fae and human. (Takes place during Wings and Ruin)

Warnings: Just some cute fluffy fluff

"Okay, Azriel. We need to stop,"

Azriel paused, you taking a step back and seeing him in a sheen of sweat and taking massive breaths. You were just out of breath yourself, the sparring session you were in the middle of with your mate was strenuous and intense. Not to mention it was a warm day out in Velaris, you two deciding to practice your hand to hand out at the townhouse in the back garden. Tension was already rising in the air with the notion of a major battle happening against King Hybern.

You were all ready, or you had to be ready for it

"What is it?" Azriel asked, placing his hands on his hips and watching the hesitant look you were giving him. You moved your hair to be in a ponytail and not have it stick to the back of your neck, the blistering sun on your back and the sweet smell of the flowers in Elain's garden was making your head spin, wondering what you were going to say to Azriel.

"You're distant," You stated, Azriel pausing and looking at you with a confused stare. When Azriel wanted to spar with you, you only assumed it was to brush up on your fighting skills for the battle that was going to come sooner than later. You were a decent fighter yourself, though you were more prone to have a task masker and a thinker than an actual soldier. But you still knew how to fight and kill, maybe not to the extent of your mate and Spymaster, but it was a skill you had.

Azriel has sparred with you in the past, you know knew how to throw out punches and dodge low kicks from one another so well you could do it with your eyes closed. But this session felt...off. Azriel's movements were a bit stiffer than usual, not swift and sleek like he would usually be. Even his hazel eyes that were bright in the sunlight seemed....out of place. And he was a hair late in blocking a punch or ducking from a glided kick to the leg.

His mind was occupied, and you had to know what was on his mind.

"You're mind is not here, not in tis sparring session." You explained some more as Azriel was watching you from a few feet away. He was seeing that you were concerned, it was etched on your face and within your skin as you went on, "Az, I wanna know what's going on in your head."

"It's....it's nothing for you to worry about," He reasoned, but you shook your head slowly as you walked over a bit more to get closer to him. Azriel was very hesitant in letting you in, fully letting you in, when it came to his thoughts and his emotions. Maybe he was used to having walls up around his mind and his heart most of his life, needing to keep a distance from having people close to him and people care for him. Yet he was so willing when you two got together, so willing to let you in and have you see all the jagged parts and damaged corners of his soul.

Even after 300 years of marriage and being mates, Azriel still surprised you.

"I have to worry because something's holding you back," You explained, seeing him slowly taking in long breaths and release that stiffness from the sparring session moments before, "I worry because you're my husband and your thoughts are important and valid. And I worry because you're my mate, and my bond with you is tell me that...you're worried,"

You felt it in your core, deep in your belly that he was worried about something. That a singular thought was haunting him and making his mind occupied and busy. You knew your mate very well, far too well for him to hide a lingering thought or feeling from you. Whether it was small and minor or something rather large and dangerous, you always wanted him to tell you.

Azriel could see you weren't backing down from this, and you weren't going to brush it under the rug. He sighed, his own shoulders were sagging now as you were watching him in silence, waiting for him to say what was truly bothering him and making him mentally so far away from you.

"it scares me, thinking of what could happen with this war," Azriel confessed to you, you still quiet as he took a long breath as he went on, "I've lost so many things in my life ever since I was a little boy and I had to learn how to live with it and go on."

You hated knowing that his past was damaged and tainted in pain and sadness. Hearing about his family, how he got those scars, and how he had to build up his own rough and hard exterior in order to survive. The tender heart under his skin was so gentle and unique, such a rare thing to see and be exposed to as you two were getting to now each other before you became mates.

"I know the risks going into this war, and those risks are very high. But....the one thing I'm afraid to risk loosing is you," Azriel confessed, your face looking at him in concern how as he seemed so saddened to tell you this. You immediately moved, getting chest to chest with him and placing your hands on his arms.

"Az.." You were about to say, but he cut you off.

"You are my life," He explained calmly, though you head the brokenness in his voice as his eyes were pouring into yours, "Ever since we bonded and became mates, I considered your life more important than mine. And I know you won't be anywhere near the battle field and you won't be in danger, but I'm still worried about you and making sure you're going to be safe,"

"Nothing going to happen to me," You reassured him carefully, squeezing his arms in your hands, "Azriel I promising you that I won't get harmed,"

"If something does happen or goes left out there with you, I'll protect you and make sure you don't leave this world," Azriel said, sounding determined like it was a vow as you felt the bonding tug give one good yank from his end, "I'll keep you safe, no matter what it takes,"

"Baby, take a breath and look at me," You said softly, having Azriel close his mouth as you searched his eyes. You saw it there in the flickers of his hazel orbs, the fear of you being hurt or killed and Azriel having no way to prevent it. You touched your forehead to his, feeling the sweat from his head melt along yours as you two were so close to one another and breathe each other in under the warm sun and the small gust of wind that cooled you down.

"I have no doubt you will always protect me and keep me safe," You reassured him calmly, "I would be a fool to think otherwise. But you cannot make this fear overtake you, Azriel. You are better than that, I know you are. It's going to be okay, and I am going to be safe."

He had to hear it from your mouth, to hear the certainty in your voice and see it in your eyes that you were going to be safe and you weren't going to leave him. He's lost so many others in his life, and you knew deep down it petrified him that you could be lost too. You've heard plenty of stories of one mate dying and the other going insane from the bond breaking and the loss of their mate. In the back of your mind, there had to have been a linger thought that it could happen to you and Azriel with this battle, this war. But you couldn't give it life, not when Azriel was thinking the same thing.

"I'm not going to leave you, you understand me?" You asked him in a whisper, feeling him nod his head against yours as you spoke again, "You and I will survive this fight and nothing will stop us, okay?"

Azriel said nothing but hugged you, you hugging him back and kissing his head and cheeks as he kept him close to him. While the war was coming around the corner to shake up your world, you had no care for it.

Not when your world was in your arms.

The End.

#azriel shadowsinger #azriel x reader #azriel #azriel x y/n #azriel x you #azriel x oc #acomaf fanfiction #acotar fandom #azriel acotar #acotar fanfiction #acotar

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darkdevasofdestruction · 4 years ago

Text

Brahms's Lullaby ~ Brahms Heelshire x Reader

Note: Why do I love Brahms? Fuck if I know. Anyway, this is what happens when a a meek, cute girl moves away from her old life to turn the page and find herself once again...And yet, her dark past quite literally comes back to haunt her.

'That's one huge manor...' Y/N thought to herself, the back of her neck straining as she scanned it from the bottom to the very top of the roof. The grip on her luggage tightened as she gulped in anxiety, and after taking a few deep breaths, she entered in this house, and immediately got greeted by the elderly woman who was the mistress of the house.

Y/N wasn't sure if it was her who was just nervous about the drastic change in her life, or if the woman was simply incredibly intimidating, but hey, as far as she was concerned, this woman won't be staying with her, so she will be all alone in the house, taking care of a child...How bad could it be?

Oh wait. Y/N hates children. They are so loud, bratty, obnoxious, entitled, rude...And the list could go on for ages, but she couldn't loiter in her mind any longer, and instead, she had to memorise where each room was, and what instructions the woman was saying.

She couldn't believe it, but she was glad she chose to wear a pair of comfortable sneakers, for she kinda got tired going up and down the manor...But what could she do anyway?

The kitchen got introduced to her, the woman told her to keep the leftovers in the freezer, told her about Malcom the delivery boy and how he's the only one allowed to bring her stuff. Weird, but what could she do? P'haps the child has a very strict routine that they must stick to, otherwise they'll feel weird and uncomfortable. Who knows?

And then, she showed her the music room, and while she wasn't paying much attention to the woman who turned on the music on the radio rather loud, Y/N looked around, inspecting the musical instruments, especially the piano, and the music sheets neatly displayed - "Brahms's Lullaby" it was called.

"Oh, is the child a fan of Johannes Brahms?" Y/N asked with a soft smile on her face, as she gently traced her fingers over the keys. "Yes, he is. In fact, the child is called Brahms." the woman spoke a bit sharply, looking her up and down with eyes that almost seemed...Judging, for some reason. "What a lovely name. When will I meet little Brahmsy?" she asked, and as soon as she used that nickname, the woman's jaw got set, and Y/N could swear she was gritting her teeth in anger at her. "...Brahms. His name is Brahms. You will meet him right now. Come on." the woman went on ahead and opened a room, where a doll was sitting in a chair, neatly dressed like a gentleman, while next to him, crouching, an elderly man, who she could only assume was the woman's husband, the master of the house. "Oh, my dear Brahms...This is Y/N, she is here to be your new nanny. Miss L/N, this us Brahms, and he will decide whether he accepts you or not." ...a doll? She...Has to babysit...A doll? Well...The pay is good, and she's veeeery far away from her old home, so...No new beginning happens within your comfort zone, right? "Hello, Brahms, it's great meeting you. I hope we'll get along well." with a sweet smile on her face, Y/N crouched down if front of the chair and took the little hand of the doll, shaking it carefully. "...Fine enough. Now, could you give us some time alone? Brahms will decide now." with that look on her face, while the old man looked at her with pity, and...Relief, maybe? Y/N exited the room, only to see a man standing in front of her, wearing an amiable smile. "Oh, hello there, you must be the new nanny. I'm Malcom, the delivery boy. Well, delivery man. Nice to meet you." very charming... "Ah, yes, I've heard about you. My name is Y/N, nice meeting you as well." she replied politely, although she could sense the flirt he was failing to put forward. "If you want, some day, I can show you around the town. It's small, but kinda pretty." he continued in the same manner, and Y/N replied with simple answers, until finally, the woman opened the door widely, with an even wider smile. "Brahms has decided that you are suitable to be his new nanny, congratulations." how the human behaviour can change so drastically, doing a whole 180, in a split second. "Thank you so much for accepting me, Brahms! I'm sure we'll get along well!" Y/N clapped her hands together to her chest in a cheerful manner, as the elder man left as well, allowing his wife some more farewell words with the doll. "Here, I made you a simplified list of rules you must follow. You don't have to wake up at 7 in the morning every day like my wife told you, but you must make sure all of these are taken care of, alright, miss L/N?" the man asked, handing her the paper which she attentively read. "Yes, of course, I will do as instructed without fail. Thank you for having trust in me with your dear Brahms. Have a lovely trip and I hope you get a well-deserved rest!" Y/N wished them, and for a split second, she almost thought the man's eyes flashed with shock and sorrow. What was going on anyway...? This family is...Peculiar, to say the least. Well, no matter, she will be paid weekly, and with the pretty generous amount she earned while working as a doctor, she should be able to afford anything she'd want, so she won't get bored.

And so, the Heelshires left, and she was all alone with the doll - Y/N decided to make her new bedroom to her liking, as much as possible, with Brahms sitting on a nightstand, as she was humming whatever tune that went in her mind, and swaying carefreely.

"You know, Brahms? I wasn't expecting you to be a doll. But frankly, I think this is better. Children are annoying...But you? You're really nice. And you're not loud or obnoxious. I think we'll be great friends." speaking to a doll...I guess that's how far in my loneliness I've gotten. Tragic, really...She thought as she realised how much of a crazy person she'd look like, were someone to see her. "Since it's already evening, let's go make some really good dinner, and then we can play the piano a bit? Maybe even watch a movie together?" she picked up the doll and went to the kitchen, and looking in the fridge, then at the utensils available, she put together a nice dinner, and put it split in two plates, one for her, and one for the doll, and to keep away the boring silence that hung painfully throughout the house, she put on some LoFi music on her phone, and ate, feeling more peace now than she ever did. "Hmmm...I know your mum told me to put the food in the freezer...But it's better eaten while still warm. I don't think you'll like it if it's stone cold...So, I'll leave it here, on the table, and see how it is. If you don't like it, and you want me to put it in the fridge, just tell me, and I'll do as advised." ...Just tell me? JUST TELL ME? Girl, are you out of your mind?! As if a doll could speak...

After she washed her plate, fork and knife, she picked up the doll once again, and went to the music room, putting the doll on the piano, and cracking her fingers, she let them glide over the claviature, creating a beautiful melody echo through the room, and maybe Y/N didn't realise, but she had a glowing smile on her face, and she visibly relaxed and felt at ease, as if she was flying through the fluffy clouds.

"I haven't done this in so long, I'm surprise I'm not rustier. I hope you liked it too, Brahmsy. Now, let's go to be. Do you want to sleep in my room? Come on, I'm a bit anxious to sleep by myself in this huge, creepy house." she mused as she got to her room, carefully putting the doll on her pillow and after going to the bathroom to change in her cutesy Unicorn Pusheen nightgown, and turning on her laptop, she put on Harry Potter, one of her comfort movies, and cuddling with the doll, she gave it a little kiss before getting engulfed in the story once again, and falling asleep without realising.

Everything was peaceful in the house in the morning, until Y/N reached the kitchen to make some light breakfast, only to find a paper on the table, with beautiful cursive writing in ink on it.

"Warm is better, thank you :) "

Frankly speaking, it freaked her our enough to get a panic attack and barricade herself in her room for the whole day, her bedroom locked and too afraid to leave that place for the whole day.

Oops.

After this, days on end, and then weeks passed by uneventfully, as Y/N took care of Brahms with no problem, Malcom came by to give her the groceries, the pay and anything that she'd order online, she'd chat with some old friends, would watch movies, would go out to plant flowers and tend to the garden, would dance around, happy to bask in the warm Summer sun, would read whatever books she likes, with the doll in her lap, and she realised that she never felt more relaxed and free in her life.

It was pretty cool not having to work for money, huh?

But one day, when she was out in the garden, barefoot and with a cute, flower dress on, her long, beautiful hair, accessorised with a colourful flower crown, and she was dancing to the music on her phone, she noticed a figure somewhere from the forest. It was unmoving, almost as if it was staring, and it startled Y/N. It startled and frightened her so much that she quickly picked up the doll and went inside the house, making sure all windows and doors are properly locked, and the drapes are closed, so nobody could get in.

That night, she kneeled on the bad, an upset frown on her face, as she felt her eyes watering slightly, looking down at the porcelain doll of the little boy.

"It's moments like this when I hoped you were human, Brahmsy. Not a child...But a man. I'm scared...I'm so scared...I don't like being alone. There was some creep outside in the forest, and it was staring at us. What do I do, Brahmsy? What am I supposed to do...?" as she felt a few tears streaming down her face, she sighed, hanging her head down, raking her fingers down her face in mild desperation. "...Who am I kidding, you're just a doll, you're not human. Why the hell do I even bother. I'm going to die here, sooner or later..." her voice was filled with dread and resignation as she got under the covers, clinging onto the doll as if her very life depended on it.

Since that very day, she continued seeing the silhouette of a tall man, standing there, menacingly stalking her every single day, from different places, until she heard the phone ring, and reluctantly, she answered.

"...Hello? Who is there...?" she muttered, gripping the phone anxiously, awaiting and answer. "You don't recognise the voice of the man that made you feel good every night?" her breath stopped completely hearing that awful voice she hoped never to hear again. Instead of answering, she slammed the phone down.

But it rang again.

And again.

Until it drove her mad and she disconnected it completely.

It wasn't like anyone would call her anyway, and if they wanted to contact her, then they could text her on her private phone, or on social media.

Why can't she just get some peace anywhere? She just wanted to get away from all hell she was put through at home...But now, it seemed like Hell was inclined to follow her to the ends of the world.

The stress and fright from this increased when she received multiple pictures of herself from either outside the house, or even inside, which is when she realised the stalked from outside was, in fact, the one who called her on the phone. It was her horrible ex.

And one horrible night, as she gripped on the doll to dear life, walking down the corridors of the huge manor, checking for the thousandth time that everything is locked tight, she heard a noise.

What was she supposed to do...? She couldn't run out of the house, everything was locked...And could she hide? Not really, she was sure he'd check all the rooms without fail.

So...What could she do except try to hide in her room?

She waited in her wardrobe, knowing very well that, if he were to get inside her bedroom, he would check every nook and cranny, but even so, she felt safer in a cramped, tight place, than outside in such an open room.

Mere seconds felt like outright centuries, she heard the door slam open, making her jump in fright, her hand to her mouth, so she'd muffle any sound she'd potentially make from her hyperventilating. She knew, it would be long before he checked the wardrobe, but gosh...The anticipation made her anxiety skyrocket.

Until it finally happened.

Y/N found herself being dragged from inside her safe place by the hair, thrown to the ground, but not once did she let go of the doll that became some sort of a comfort object for her.

"So that's where you were, Y/N! I missed you! It's been a while, hasn't it?" oh no, that overly sweet voice...It's nothing but poison. It was so bad that her bottom lip started quivering with fear as she tried to crawl away from there, but obviously, to no avail. "Wheeeere are you going, darling? Didn't you miss me? Come on, give me a hug!" he grinned, grabbing her and trapping her in his arms, and she couldn't help but tremble in disgust and fear as she felt his hands roaming in places it shouldn't. "Why aren't you talking to me? Why aren't you saying anything? Come on, let me hear you voice! ...DO SOMETHING, DAMN IT!" ah, his facade crumbled much faster than expected, and that aggressive scream in her face as he roughly pushed her in the wardrobe door made her whimper and wrap herself around the doll, trying not to let tears fall down her face and just...Praying for all this to be over...To be just a nightmare..."What the fuck is with that doll anyway? Why do you cling on it, and not on me? Give that here." but she didn't let go, and seeing how she was opposing him, he forcefully grabbed her face before slapping her before snatching away the doll from her arms. "Sheesh...It's so fucking ugly. No wonder you stay with this, it's the only thing that would stay with someone like you. So ugly, dumb, annoying...You should be grateful that I'm here! Nobody in this world wants you! You're worthless and you deserve nothing. Do you hear me? You ARE nothing! Better thank me nicely for coming all the way here for you! Nobody would bother doing ANYTHING for you!" he yelled at her, as she cradled her face, crying, but also fearing being seen crying, remembering how bad it would get. "Don't her Brahms...Please...Please don't hurt him..." she begged and pleaded over and over, but it only seemed to ignite more anger in his eyes. "You only beg me with that sweet voice of yours...To save your stupid...Thing? Really, Y/N? You're pathetic. You're stupid. You're disgusting. Fuck you and fuck your stupid doll!" and with that, the jerk started slamming the fragile porcelain doll on the wall, ignoring the desperate pleas from the girl. "NO! NOOOOOOOO! No....! Brahms, no...! What has he done to you..." Y/N crawled to the place where the doll's porcelain head was slammed apart, and she let tears fall over as, with shaky hands, she tried to piece together the overly-fragmented head, only to get pulled back by the hair and slammed on the ground, as he pushed himself upon her, his hands grabbing at her exposed flesh, her light nightgown offering close to no protection from the lecherous predator, and her weak, noodle arms, just like before, offered no resistance to his significantly stronger, bulkier built, and no matter how much she tried to fight back, she knew...She knew that struggling never helped, no matter how much she tried. It never did. And it only made it hurt more.

But then...Before she knew it, a loud noise, like that of an explosion, or destruction, came from somewhere in the room, startling the poor girl enough to make her scream in fright, while the predator jumped to his feet looking at the hole in the wall...

Only for a pair of hands to slowly creep out of the wall, tredging along the wooden walls, and then, a head wearing a porcelain mask creepily got out, followed by 2 legs and a body. It seemed to be a man, very tall - In fact, taller than her ex - , but while yes, his dramatic entrance startled the two, the man only got angrier, ready to fight the intruder, while the petite girl only got more frightened by the commotion, dragging herself in the safest corner of the room, shaking, guarding her head with both her arms, hoping again and again that this was all a nightmare, and it would end already - It was beginning to look so much more incredible, like a weird fantasy movie...This can't be real, right?!

"Y/N! Help me!" the voice of a child called out her name, almost strangled and desperate, and peeking at the brawl on the ground, she noticed her ex trying to strangle the stranger, whose head was leaning, his eyes fixated on hers.

He went out of the wall as soon as she got attacked...He was trying to protect her...Maybe? So...She got up, trying not to attract the attention of her ex, and taking ahold of the lamp on her nightstand, she brought it down hard against her ex's head, making him groan in pain...But he didn't fall. He didn't faint, like you see in movies. Instead, he got up, glaring at the meek girl and snatched away the lamp, throwing it away.

"You fucking bitch...Now you've done it." his voice was so dark that she was sure this was game over, so she bolted out of the room as fast as she could, but the labyrinthine house was impossible to navigate, and before she knew it, she found herself in a dead end, with no escape.

However, instead of seeing her ex with the wrath of a raging bull, she noticed the stranger slowly making his way towards her, his shoulder slouched, his dirty, once white, tank top now splattered with fresh blood, as is the rest of his outfit. But his hands were up, almost as if to say that he 'surrenders', as he stepped right in front of the trembling girl.

"Please don't kill me. Please don't hurt me. Please, please, please, I will leave you alone, I will go away, I will do want you want, please don't hurt me." even her voice was shaky, her arms crossed to protect her face, and her eyes closed in fear, so she didn't notice the curly haired man slowly crouching down in front of her, his head tilting slowly, before he gingerly grasped her wrists, pulling them away with such gentleness that she never knew. It was so weird for someone to be so careful with her body...With her...That she opened her eyes, doe-like, looking at the man's wide eyes that peered through his mask. "I am Brahms." but this time, his voice wasn't like that of a child, but not did it sound rough and hoarse, like her ex's. It was soft and delicate, masculine, but not too much. It was soothing. And what Brahms once saw to be the most frightened eyes, remembering how scared Bambi was when his mother died, yet now, they had more of a curious spark. "I won't hurt you. I promise. Don't leave." the once tense girl visibly relaxed under his touch, as he let go of her wrists and letting his knees touch the floor, he leaned forwards, between her legs, to get closer to her, and touched her face with both of his arms, wiping away her tears, surprised at how soft her skin was...Is it was a flower petal feels like? He remembers overly descriptive books where women are seen as different delicate things...A flower, a fawn, a butterfly, a nightingale, the Moon, and so many others...And he could finally understand why. "You are safe now." he continued, thinking it would make the girl smile, but instead, even more tears leaked down her face, and she threw her arms around his neck, bringing him closer to her, his body flushed to hers...And he stood there, stiff, shocked at the situation he was in.

What was he supposed to do now? Touch was so foreign to him...But he loved it so much! It was so warm, it made him happy! He wanted the girl to be closer and closer to him. He remembers what she did daily to his doll - What was it called...A cuddle? - Yes, he wanted that. He NEEDED that.

He hated that man touching her - He was hurting her - Only HE can touch her. He deserved to die. He deserved to fuck off. All he has to do is get rid of the body, and the rest can go on as it always has been - Except, instead of Y/N cuddling the doll, she will cuddle him every night, and she will kiss him.

"Thank you, Brahmsy. Thank you. Thank you so much." she continued thanking him over and over again, but he didn't answer. Instead, his hands slowly made their way on her waist, then went to the curvature of her hips, then to her thighs, and without any warning, he lifted her up, indirectly forcing her to glue herself to him even more - Not before hearing her cute squeal of surprise - And he carried her to one of the guest bedrooms, shivering a bit as he felt her warm breath on his bare neck - It excited him, but he didn't understand really what it was - But it was enough to make him bite his lip behind the mask and his grip on her thighs strengthened a bit, under the pretext of making sure she doesn't fall by mistake.

Luckily, he reached the bedroom and closing the door behind, he got in bed, holding her close as she stood in his lap, so close that he could feel her rapid heartbeat slowing down little by little. It was no misunderstanding, she was getting more and more comfortable around him. He was her protector, and he wasn't going to let anyone hurt her ever again. She was his. Nobody else's. Only his.

They stood like that for a while, just holding each other and calming down, before Brahms turned the both of them to the side, and he hugged her tightly to his chest, playing with her hair, not letting her go for the whole night. His embrace was warm, and Y/N felt so safe - As never before, not even in her parents' home. She felt...Good.

The next day, she woke up still in Brahms's arms. She wasn't sure if he woke up or not, but she leaned to plant a soft kiss on the forehead of the mask, as she raked her fingers through his dark, curly hair, but before she knew it, a pair of arms wrapped around her torso, hugging her close to his chest.

"Good morning, Brahms. Did you sleep well?" her sleepy voice was so cute...He wanted to wake like this every day...As an answer, he merely nodded. "I'm happy to hear that. Come on, we have to eat breakfast, then take a shower...And after that, we can do whatever we want. Sounds good?" she asked, getting up and holding his arms, urging him to follow her. "No shower!" ah, the childish voice again, I see... "Then...How about I shower with you? I have some cute rubber duckies, if you want." she tried to appeal to his inner child, which seemed to pique his interest. "...Only if you wash me." he muttered, making the girl chuckle. "Okay, sure, sure. Let's eat something first. I think there's some milk and cereal." she remembered how much she loved to eat that every morning before going to school, when she was little.

She prepared two bowls and they ate in silence, until Brahms muttered that he wants to hear the music she usually puts when eating - And grinning at him, she put on LoFi music once again, which seemed to make the boy happy too.

After that, they went to the bathroom, and while Brahms waited for the tub to get filled, Y/N went to get the clothes in the washing machine, while getting some fresh clothes for the both of them. Apparently, he actually had other clothes, he just didn't want to bother washing or changing...For who knows how long...

As Brahms got in the tub, only briefs on, playing with the duckies, Y/N kneeled by the tub, taking the flower-scented showed gel and the sponge.

"Get in the tub too." Brahms put his arms on the tub edge, leaning his chin on them, looking at her attentively. "We don't have much space in the tub." she explained, but he had none of it. Instead, he rose from underneath the water, picked her up with a weird ease, and got her in the tub, not before splashing her, so her nightgown was soaked so she couldn't protest anymore. "...Fine, you got me. Let me clean you, then." she shook her head with a sigh as she heard him chuckle, gripping her wrists and pulling her to sit on his lap. Did he really like it that much, she wondered. "Can I shave your chest and neck, Brahms?" she asked as she trailed her hands over his chest, shoulders and arms, scrubbing with a sponge, one hand always finding its way on either her hip or her leg. The answer came in the form of a nod, and she reached to the sink to get a shaving blade and very carefully, making sure not to irritate his skin, or cut him by mistake, she cut down the overgrown, stinky, unwashed hair. In the end, his skin was finally clean and soft and smelling like roses and vanilla. "Let me sit behind you, I have to wash your hair." he seemed pretty exited, feeling her legs on either side of him, his head leaning back so her fingers could work miracles - He felt in heaven - He was so spoiled, and he loved every second of it. The shampoo smelled really nicely too, he had to admit. But her fingers massaging his scalp...Ahhh, it was so perfect, he was almost sure he'd fall asleep. "Let me wash you too!" he said, and in a split second, he could feel the girl's body stiffen, her eyes going wide, and her face...It was beginning to turn pink...? Was she...Blushing? "Ah, uhm...Well...Y-You can wash my hair, if you want?" she was stuttering! So cute! So cute, in fact, that he pinched both her cheeks, and they felt like marshmallows. "H-Hey, stop, that hurts." she pouted as he teased her. He loved that. "Yay!" Brahms cheered as he got her back glued to his chest, his hand gingerly tracing her neck, making her lean her head back, just as he did...But why did he like the sight of his hand wrapped around her neck? He didn't want to hurt her...But the visual was getting him feel weird things.

He followed the same routine as she did to him - Massaging her scalp, putting shampoo, rinsing, then this...Conditioner? Oh, it smelled nicely...And this is called...Hair mask? Ah, this is coconut scented! And she is smiling! She has a kitty smile! She looks like a cute little kitty!

After the bath time was over, Y/N wrapped him in a bathrobe, and while he wasn't paying attention, she quickly took off her nightgown and put another bathrobe on tying it tightly, and guiding the man back to their room, so she could use a hair dryer to dry both their hair, before brushing it neatly, so they could dress up...And he insisted she dressed in that cute, flowy, flower-patterned dress

"There, all good. What do you want to do now, Brahmsy? Do you want to go in the garden and see the flowers?" she asked, a bright smile on her face, both her hands holding his, and he could see her eyes were basically glimmering, pleading him to go out with her...But he hated the outside...Hmmm...

He grumbled a bit, but ultimately, he let himself be dragged outside - He hissed a bit, as if he was a vampire getting burnt by the sun, but after a while...He didn't find it that bad...? And the flowers in the garden were so pretty...!

"Hey, Brahms, take off your shoes and socks. Feel the grass. It will make you feel so calm and peaceful...Here, how do you feel?" she asked, intertwining her fingers with his. "It's...It tickles." he muttered, looking down and wiggling his toes to get used to it. "Come sit down with me. Watching the clouds is really relaxing." she said, helping him sit down, then laying on their backs. Instead of staying apart, however, Brahms pulled her close to his chest, her head resting on his shoulder. "...But it's kinda boring..." he muttered, as he started kneading her arm up and down, massaging it from sheer boredom. "Look, Brahmsy, that cloud looks like a bunny, don't you think?" she put her finger up in the air, pointing to one of the clouds passing by. "Ah! You're right! And that one looks like a dragon! And that one looks like a butterfly! Look, Y/N, it's so pretty!" his boredom dissipated quickly and it got replaced by excitement instead - Very wholesome, the girl thought as she looked at the person next to her getting so happy over such simple things.

They stood outside until evening came, and they could watch the beautiful sunset, the sky painted with the most gorgeous shades there are. "Let's get inside, dear, it's getting cold. We don't want to get sick, right?" she smiled at him, only for him to hang his head down, and then he took off his cardigan and put it over her shoulders and pulled the girl between his legs, her back glued to his broad, warm chest and his embrace made her feel so warm and at ease. "Brahmsy...?" she asked softly, tilting her head up, before feeling his chin on top of her head, but she was met with silence. "The stars are pretty. You are pretty. Y/N is the prettiest, brightest star. Y/N is my star. I love my star." his soft voice was heard, almost whispery, and after a few more seconds, she felt the softest, sweetest kiss on her hair, then on her temple and on her cheek, before his chin found its place back on her head. "I love you, Brahms." she said, with teary eyes, intertwining her fingers to his, pulling his arms closer to her and squeezing his hands. "And I've never loved anyone more than I love you."

Needless to say, that comment made the man giddy and happy, for he, too, felt happiest now than he ever did before. When they felt tired, Brahms picked the girl up and got her back to their now shared room, dressed in their sleeping wear and cuddled, yet this time, Y/N was holding him, his head resting on her chest, as she played with his hair, soothing, and humming a lullaby to help him sleep.

It was Brahms's Lullaby.

#brahms #brahms heelshire #brahms x reader #brahms imagine #brahms heelshire x reader #brahms heelshire imagine #brahms the boy #the boy imagine #the boy #the boy x reader #brahms heelshire the boy #brahms the boy x reader #slasher #slasher boyfriend #slasher imagine #slasher x reader #slasher boyfriend imagine #slasher boyfriend x reader

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unohanadaydreams · 4 years ago

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Could I get Knight! Kenpachi and Princess! Reader, otome scenario first meeting please! I hope I read the rules correctly jejdnfnf

YES! Y E S!!!! anon this is SO big brained. Oh my god. Please feel all the freedom to request more prompts for knight!kenpachi.

notes: a first meeting for the game’s surroundings, premise, protagonist, and Kenpachi all wrapped in one. Ah, the divine struggle between duty and lusting after + growing to love one fine motherfucker.

i thought of setting this in a Japanese inspired castle, but I know myself and I would get too caught up in being ‘accurate’. instead i’m gonna stick to what I, a filthy fantasy casual, know.

features: SFW content and some olden day vibes.

Bleach Your Heart: The Otome Ask Game

Knight!Kenpachi + Princess!Reader + First Meeting

You are the only daughter and heir of the castle to survive childhood and beyond. Both your parents live, greeting you with love each day you break fast.

The castle you will one day be Lady of is two grey rectangles of stone connected by one laid on its side in the middle of them, encircled by walls so tall it winds you to climb up them. There is little grandeur in your surroundings beyond the luxury of a full belly and warm room, always. Even the flower gardens are built sturdy rather than pretty.

Life is uncertain in the mountains. But not you. Not within your walls, with your father’s defense strategum to support them. There is even a little town within the castle walls, something no generation before him could hope to maintain and protect successfully.

Your father, who has taught you maths, strategy, and how each part of the castle must be maintained with upmost harmony, has announced it is time.

For marriage. And for more protection.

He is not aging well, hands that once held firm a sword too weak at the wrist to pick up a bowl laden of soup. And those who would battle for his castle are growing more organized—more dangerous.

And He is King before being your father, so you do not fuss even if you feel the weight of his responsibilities crushing you into a curtsy.

Those he will make knights the next morning now sit in the dining hall, eating perhaps their first meal of its kind. There are whole birds on the table, roasted well, and garnished with fresh greens meant to bring crisp freshness to the juicy meat. Thick stew and bowls of berries serve to fill any stomach that the birds do not satisfy. Not grand, but plenty.

You stop at the western entrance, wearied by worries of the future.

There is seldom so much noise as now. The men, all wearing some form of leathers and bits of mail, seem more aflame than the scones that flicker on the walls. You easily spot the newcomers—those who are already knights have been for most your life and are comparably calm.

A man with no hair and colorful makeup springing from the corner of his eyes like wings bangs his tankard on the table one—two—three times after gulping it down in seconds. Yells his victory and calls for another.

The man across from him, hair of oil and feathers truly decorating his eyes, throws a berry at the bald man’s face. It misses.

The bald man turns his head, laughing, to watch the fruit sail past him, and spots you. He waves, calling something you can’t understand, words unfamiliar.

Your hands untangle from behind you and one springs up to return his gesture before you can remember that you are in a doorway, where anyone could be behind you. Perhaps he is being friendly and grateful, you think, for your father choosing him, when so many trained up warriors from your land and the next struggle to find a place with no official war to guide them anymore.

A deep chuckle behind you is all you need to remember your surroundings. You turn, eyesight not filled, but overwhelmed by the height and lean bulk of the man meant to receive the greeting you took for your own.

“Oh,” you say after moments of staring, voice quiet and faraway sounding to your own ears. “Greetings.”

The side of his face where a long scar is carved into skin--above, below, and through his eye--is more lifted into smile than the other. A patch covers his other eye, held by nothing; seemingly nailed into his face by metal studs at the edges of the fabric.

It is not his appearance, punctuated by wild black hair sticking out at the sides like a wolf pelt does at one’s back, but his smile that hushes your manners and leaves you standing there--staring.

The smile is too wide and open. You can not help but remember Martha, who’s smile split her face similarly when hearing that her husband had not returned due to the cold rather than an enemy. Her usually puckered lips had bared her teeth as she laughed harsh, breath white and swirling into the cold air.

He had a smile that spoke of madness.

You heard Martha’s laughter as he acknowledged your words with a nod, asking, “Ya lost or something?”

“Lost,” you say in an echo, eyes drawn to the thin sword at his waist. “N-no. Not at all. I am princess to this castle.”

He laughs, the sound mingling with that which had begun to haunt your ears, as he shrugged. “Guess you’ve never seen a real warrior, then. Thought so, with all the stiffs you’ve got lazin’ around.”

The comment rouses you from where you’d retreated into yourself, drawing your eyes narrow. “I can see you are from across the mountain and perhaps you’ve different ideas of what a true fighter is, but know that all who protect this castle are genuine warriors.”

“Protect? I’m here to fight,” he says, gripping the hilt of his sword and shaking it for emphasis. “That’s what your daddy promised us. Is he a liar?”

“W-no; of course he isn’t,” you lift your chin, responding with gusto. “My father is an honest man and king.”

The man snorts, his head bowing toward the tables of familiar men who had accepted your fistful of flowers and paraded you around on their horses as a child, “They wouldn’t last as a warm up against me.”

“You won’t be fighting them,” you say, eyeing his crossed arms, wanting so much to reach out and smack one of them. “Surely, you must know protection comes before everything? Don’t they teach you that from wherever you come from?”

“Anything I know, I taught myself,” he grunts, smile gone. “And I know a real fighter when I see ‘em. Just like I know I wasn’t hired to sit and wait for a battle to come my way.”

Your father’s words in the throne room pressed you once more and forced a sigh from your chest. “You were hired to escort me to court, then.”

“Yeah, promised a lot of danger along the way, too. Always fun to be had on the edge of a kingdom.” He spoke with utmost confidence, leaning closer than any real knight would dare.

Your father had chosen this man, so you would not ask him to reconsider, but hearing him speak of killing as though it were as much a hobby as needlework or jousting made you bristle.

But you would not let your anger sit on your tongue or coat your words. It would be unwise to lash out against the person who would be a great part responsible for your future safety.

“If you are so great a warrior,” you say slowly, “and the one who will escort me, then it is an honor.”

You dip into a curtsy, listing off your proper title and name before inquiring for his.

“Zaraki Kenpachi--ah fuck, it’s backwards here, ain’t it,” he mumbles, looking to the side, his smile small and human. “Kenpachi Zaraki.”

“Lovely to meet you, Kenpachi Zaraki,” you say, hardly meaning it.

“Nah, you don’t like me at all,” he says as he passes you, large hand giving your back one firm pat. “Do ya, princess?”

#kenpachi zaraki #kenpachi zaraki x reader #bleach imagines #bleach x reader #bleach your heart: the otome meme #oh my GOD WAS THIS SO FUN #please don't pay attention the absolutely BOTCHED manga girl #i did my best with my shitty mouse work aslkdjf;owliaejf

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renaissanceclassics · 1 year ago

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The Pilgrim's Progress: Part 20

Listen to: Book 2, 6th stage, at Renaissance Classics Podcast.

"Through all my life Thy favour is So frankly showed to me, That in Thy house for evermore My dwelling place shall be."

And listening still, she thought she heard another answer it, saying:

"For why? the Lord our God is good; His mercy is for ever sure: His truth at all times firmly stood, And shall from age to age endure."

"Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls." ~ Matthew 11:29 ~

#podcast #audio #story #pilgrim's progress #john bunyan #christian #fiction #renaissance #awakening #allegory

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falsegoodnight · 4 years ago

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a new header??? it matches better <3 these are the fics I read or reread and enjoyed this month! like last time, i’m separating it into different sections: main list, wips, and non-1d. rereads will be included in the main list and marked with a star (*).

*note: this list encompasses the fics i’ve read from the 1st to the 28th only

—

main list ~

✰ Don’t Wait Up by reliablyimperfect | NR | 1k

Without Harry’s warmth next to him, he felt the chill of the air creep over his skin. He tugged the blanket down from where Harry kept one draped over the back of the couch for him, grateful. With the blanket, he instantly felt warmer, but it backfired when his eyes began to droop again. Trying to keep his eyes open was impossible, and he was consciously aware of how long his blinks were becoming. They stay closed longer and longer until, eventually, they didn’t open again.

so soft and sweet and lovely! made my heart feel so warm <3 will return to this for some quick comfort in the future!

✰ my ugly mouth kept running by @hadestyles | E | 4k

Sometimes second chances are more important than the first.

rori’s lush writing + abo + exes to lovers = absolute perfection. my fic cameo gives it a bonus too :’) definitely one of my rori favs

✰ i’ve loved you three summers now honey, i want them all by @softloubabie | M | 4k

The restaurant was small and bright, soft colors filled the walls and tables and fairy lights hung from everywhere. From what Harry had read, the food wasn’t overly expensive but it was still comparable to what you would get at one of the more expensive places. If Harry could he would take Louis to the biggest most expensive and extravagant restaurants to do what he planned to tonight, but this would do.

After being led to their table Harry nervously tapped his jacket pocket, sighing in relief when he felt the small box still there. Tonight was the night. He couldn’t wait till it was time to surprise Louis with all the gifts he got for him. Then finally the big surprise.

so cute and sweet! their kids were so adorable and the proposal so lovely!! they love each other so much <3

✰ love me in between the future and the past by navigator & quitter | E | 11k

Harry's scared of history repeating itself.

this honestly hurt to read but in such a raw and emotional way?? was mad at harry and then sad for him :( this writer duo’s fics never fail to amaze me!

✰ sunshine on my mind by @raspberryoatss | E | 13k

Louis visits Harry in Portland

this was so sweet and lovely! the perfect addition to this wonderful universe! pip’s characterizations and fluff never fails to make my heart feel warm <3

✰ rapture in the dark by @stylinsonsupporter | T | 13k

Harry Styles is a breakout musician who has shed his boyband label in favor of embracing his inner brooding rockstar. His PR team think that his rebrand is the perfect time for Harry to come out of the closet and have devised the perfect plan for doing so. Enter Louis Tomlinson, up and coming (and very openly homosexual) model whose public image as America's Sweetheart is the perfect foil for Harry's new edge. From a PR standpoint, it's a dream come true - a power couple that can slowly coax the public into accepting Harry's altered image. The only problem? They hate each other.

always love a good fake dating au and this is no exception! and model louis >> really enjoyed this!

✰ Maybe, Baby* by thoughtsickles | M | 16k | mpreg

It all feels too easy, too good to be true. It all feels like a scene from Louis' daydreams, the kind of life he'd always imagined he'd have when he was younger and bored at his momma's work, sneaking around the hallways of the maternity ward until the nurses let him in to hold the babies. He'd felt so important being allowed to touch them. He'd told them stories of the lives they were going to have, houses with nice wallpaper that wasn't peeling, yards filled with sunshine and flowers and grass that never went yellow. A hammock to nap in, cuddled up with his husband.

You can't stay here, he tells himself, but Baby doesn't want to listen.

have reread this one quite a bit of times now and it still makes me so happy <3 this Louis and Harry deserve the world <333

✰ Let Me Inside by reliablyimperfect | E | 18k

Louis is Harry’s boss, but Harry is the boss of Louis.

loved this one! really enjoyed the balance between h&l and how they maintained their dynamic in subtle ways outside of the bedroom while also keeping it separate. very much enjoyed the jealousy as well <3

✰ a scintilla of predilection by @dehydratedpoolfics | T | 20k

There, in the far back of the room, next to the only available seat left, is none other than Harry Styles. Harry, who grew up next door to him, who knew all his secrets as a child and played FIFA with him on Saturday mornings after he would spend the night Friday evenings every week, whose curly hair would tickle his nose as they held each other during bitter cold nights that made his room glow a haunting blue.

love ex-childhood friends with misunderstandings!! louis was so cute and i loved his poetry <3 harry too was so stupid but so smitten and lovely :’) really enjoyed this!

✰ Keeping The Flame Alive by @crazyupsetter | E | 20k

Recording with One Direction never felt like this. There’s a couple reasons for that, Harry thinks. One is that they did most of their recording on the road, rushed and in busses and hotel rooms, never in one place long enough to really get an argument going. The other, larger and more important one, is that back then he had the sweetest, meanest little omega around to distract him from all of that frustration.

The first time around, when he’d been recording his debut solo album, it hit him pretty hard. He likes to think he’s better adjusted to it now, but frustration is warring under his skin nonetheless. He doesn’t want to be told what to do most of the time, and he especially doesn’t want to be told what to do when it comes to his music.

What he does want right now is that sweet, mean little omega right in front of him with his mouth on Harry’s cock. Unfortunately, the best he’s got is his own hand and a shared toilet. So. That’s really not going to work.

✰ like it’s a game* by @soldouthaz | E | 32k

There is little Harry hates more than truth or dare.

And Louis.

queen of enemies to lovers! it’s been a while since i’ve reread this but too absolutely no surprise, it’s just as amazing as always <3 sarah never misses!

✰ Too Young To Know by @2tiedships2 | M | 35k

Harry doesn’t present as an alpha… until he does.

really enjoyed this as per usual! exes to lovers is my jam and the added angst of Louis dating someone else at the beginning... love <3

✰ Some Things Take Root* by navigator & quitter | E | 50k

Louis' ex doesn't get jealous of anyone besides Harry. Harry helps Louis use that to his advantage.

stumbled upon this randomly and decided to reread on a whim... ended up staying up to read it in one sitting! so good!

✰ Safe and Sound (You’ll Always Be) by @all-these-larrythings | E | 58k

When a failed case and a guilty conscience leaves Harry more than a little lost, his boss presents him with a new, less taxing assignment to help him cope. An escape from all the madness is just what Harry needs to get his life back on track. It's just too bad his new client has a grin like the devil, a pair of electric eyes that Harry simply can't get over, and no intention whatsoever of letting him catch a break.

i don’t know how i’ve never read this before??? it was absolutely amazing though! perfect blend of humor and fluff and tension and angst <3

✰ Mind Over Matter (You Under Me) by @youreyesonlarry | E | 74k

It’s dark outside when Harry finishes practice for the day.

the slow burn in this fic killed me - which is to say, it was perfect! loved how they progressed from working together to being friends to something more and how much they genuinely cared for each other! the hockey was so fun too!

✰ Call Out My Name by frenchkiss | E | 102k

Apparently, it's bad PR to fall in love with the omega you hired to help you through your rut.

Harry Styles begs to differ.

ellen truly knocked it out of the park with this one!! had everything i could ever want: abo, famous/non-famous, fluff, humor, angst, drama, and more! i loved it from beginning to end!

wips ~

✰ ‘cause all our tomorrows lead the way by @loubellies | E | 64k | 7/11

So maybe Louis’ in over his head.

He had signed up for the Bachelor on a whim after his second bottle of wine and well, here he is. He’s just been announced as the twenty-sixth Bachelor and his ass is sweating. Like, literally sweating. He’s positive that if he was to turn around, the entirety of Bachelor Nation would get a nice peek of his ass sweat.

am thoroughly enjoying each chapter!! it’s been a wild ride so far and although things are currently calm, i am still on edge!! but i trust mar with my life <3

✰ Truth Behind Golden Eyes by @lwtisloved | E | 83k | 8/16

Louis is a royal servant born with magic in a kingdom where his sole existence is outlawed with a war he has no idea he has a part in upon him. Harry is the prince on whom the burden of mending a broken kingdom falls upon and he might be willing to risk it all for a simple servant if only he admitted it to himself.

caught up last night! still really enjoying every chapter and can’t wait to see what happens next!! things are *happening* with h&l and answers are being given!! (love the jealousy too!)

non-1d ~

✰ Keep Me Close (I Need Your Faith) by @princelouisau | E | 23k

Somewhere along the way he had fallen in love and in doing so, had broken the one rule he knew he couldn’t come back from. As quickly as he realised, he decided that he must never dare speak it. He resigned himself to loving Draco in silence.

first foray into reading drarry... and, to no one’s surprise, i loved it! beautiful writing as always and beautiful atmosphere! it’s really not a shock that i fell for these characters and their story when danielle is behind it <3 it had me entranced from beginning to end!!

finally, i myself actually posted a fic this month:

my fics ~

✰ yesterday came suddenly by me | E | 49k | mpreg

Harry the deadliest member of the NYC assassins’ guild, is forced to face a seemingly impossible task in hopes of finally leaving the underground behind for good, but when ghosts from the past come back to haunt him, escaping the darkness becomes that much harder.

If you read any of these beautiful works of art, remember to leave kudos and comment to show your appreciation!

*if i made any errors, please let me know :)

enjoy!

#my fic recs #fic recs #28th appreciation #march recs #2021 recs #march 2021 recs #scheduled

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yourlunarspice · 2 years ago

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My Teen & Up Fics Masterlist

This list only contains fics rated T for Teen & Up Audiences.

General | Mature | Explicit | Unrated

My favorite fics will be in bold while my beta reader's favorite fics will be italicized.

Night Will Fall And Drown The Sun | 1,330 words, 1/? Chapters Main Character(s): Shouta Aizawa, Izuku Midoriya, Inko Midoriya

Many consider Shouta Aizawa to be a 'good man'. People like his coworkers, his peers, and his students.

They all look up to him.

As an underground hero, Shouta has had much experience with the scum of the earth.

But no one has made him as angry, as vengeful, as the people closest to him with their own stories to tell.

And when they tell them...

We'll find out what happens when a good man goes to war.

When a good man fights tooth and nail to protect those closest to him...

...even demons run away.

Eater | 2,043 words, 2/2 Chapters Main Character(s): Izuku Midoriya, Class 1-A, Shouta Aizawa

Izuku Midoriya stood in trepidation, staring at the enormous door emblazoned with '1-A', the letter being almost as tall as himself.

The first day of school. The day when he took his first step to achieving his goal to be a hero.

He held up his right hand, staring into its palm. He could almost feel the thrum of One For All under his skin, filling his bloodstream with a Quirk that was not his own.

No, he thought. Not mine originally.

A Steep Price | 1,669 words, 1/5-6 Chapters Main Character(s): Link, The Horned Statue

On the brink of death, Link makes a decision that will haunt him for the rest of his life.

However long that may be.

Do you know how to tell where a corpse is buried? | 331 words, 1/1 Chapters Main Character(s): Enji Todoroki, Todoroki Family mentioned

Enji stood in front of the window in the back of his house, staring grimly out at his backyard.

It was late; Fuyumi had put Shoto in his bed for a nap and was trying to wrangle Natsuo down as well, but his son's cries fell on deaf ears.

Instead, the only thing the Pro Hero saw was the patch of flowers blooming in the midday sun, bright yellow against the dull yellow-green of his lawn.

U R > | 980 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 3 of TodoDeku Hurt/Comfort Main Character(s): Izuku Midoriya, Sludge Villain, Shoto Todoroki

Izuku couldn't bear the thought of being vulnerable with anyone.

His past mistakes...

His problems...

He couldn't subject anyone to that.

He bottled it up, feeling the pain squirm deep inside him.

Bleach | 674 words, 1/1 Chapters Main Character(s): Denki Kaminari, Hitoshi Shinsou, Hitoshi Shinsou's Father mentioned

Kaminari comes home to the apartment, expecting everything to be normal, like everything is okay.

As soon as he enters, he knows he's wrong.

So, so wrong.

"Will You Divorce Me?" | 1714 words, 1/1 Chapters Main Character(s): Shouta Aizawa, Hizashi Yamada

Shouta wasn't sure how he got into this situation.

In only a few short days, he found himself married and helping move his new husband's belongings into his meager apartment.

He knew that relationships didn't really work like this.

For example, most people who got married actually loved each other.

But Shouta didn't love his new husband.

The Many Deaths Of Neito Monoma | 982 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 30 of Lunar's Whumptober of Suffering (2022) Main Character(s): Neito Monoma, Kat Chisaki

Neito didn't think his life would end up like this.

It had just been a normal day. A normal day full of taunting Class A at school.

It wasn't supposed to go this way.

Under Pressure | 1,115 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 28 of Lunar's Whumptober of Suffering (2022) Main Character(s): Katsuki Bakugou, Eijiro Kirishima, Background & Camero Characters

Katsuki wasn't thinking clearly.

His entire body tingled with adrenaline. His blood was pumping through his veins.

"DAMMIT!" Katsuki screamed as he punched the closest thing to him: the nearby wall.

He felt something crunch! deep inside his hand, but ignored it.

He needed to find Kirishima.

Raising The Voltage | 541 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 27 of Lunar's Whumptober of Suffering (2022) Part 2 of Electric Hell Main Character(s): Denki Kaminari

There were some days when Denki really hated his life.

He didn't normally feel dread from the moment he woke up in the morning, but today was different.

Mr. Aizawa had mentioned how beneficial everyone's training had been at the summer camp last year - before it had turned into a poisonous, blue inferno - and wanted to raise the bar even higher.

And apparently, UA had access to every string anyone could possibly pull, because Denki was staring at the largest battery he'd ever seen.

Seriously, the thing was almost as tall as he was.

A Final Goodbye | 410 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 26 of Lunar's Whumptober of Suffering (2022) Part 2 of Jumping On The Grenade Main Character(s): Eijiro Kirishima, Mina Ashido, Hanta Sero, Denki Kaminari, Kyoka Jiro

The world was a blur to Eijiro.

Nothing made sense anymore.

He blinked and found himself surrounded by all of his friends.

Well... almost all of his friends.

Side Effects | 1,798 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 19 of Lunar's Whumptober of Suffering (2022) Part 1 of Anger Management Main Character(s): Katsuki Bakugou, Eijiro Kirishima, Shoto Todoroki

He didn't even want to go to the dumbass therapist, but that was mandatory too, so he sucked it up.

It was all fucking bullshit that he wished he could be done with.

All because he had one little eruption that ended with a student or two (or four) in the infirmary.

And a collapsed wall.

And a fire.

Fucking fuck.

I don't need help (but I'll take it anyway) | 1,409 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 8 of Lunar's Whumptober of Suffering (2022) Main Character(s): Neito Monoma, Itsuka Kendo

During lunch, Neito approached Yaoyorozu's table and began waxing poetic about how his class was better than theirs.

It was true, of course, but he liked to rub it in from time to time, just to put them in their places.

Yaoyorozu twitched slightly as Neito patted the top of her head condescendingly. He grabbed onto her Quirk, still smiling.

A Heated Situation And A Frosty Reception | 1,110 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 5 of Lunar's Whumptober of Suffering (2022) Main Character(s): Eijiro Kirishima, Shouta Aizawa, Katsuki Bakugou, Neito Monoma

According to Mr. Aizawa's debrief, there had been thirty-three cases of heat exhaustion (four of which were severe), twelve students with other injuries, and two students missing in action.

Eijiro didn't need to hear one of the names. He'd been texting Bakugou for the last hour.

But hearing his name made Eijiro grit his teeth.

This was just like the summer camp.

Eijiro couldn't just stand by and do nothing.

Nowhere To Run | 691 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 2 of Lunar's Whumptober of Suffering (2022) Main Character(s): All Might, Izuku Midoriya, All For One (mentioned)

Toshinori gasped for breath as his legs struggled to keep up their frantic pace. He coughed wetly, blood spraying across the dirty brick walls surrounding him.

He had no idea how long he'd been running, but he knew that he couldn't keep it up for much longer.

Here For Me | 840 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 2 of TodoDeku Hurt/Comfort Main Character(s): Izuku Midoriya, Shoto Todoroki

What happens when a hero is always there for someone else, always happy for the man he loves?

He starts to wear thin.

He starts to crack.

Feline Gold | 2,262 words, 1/1 Chapters Main Character(s): Hitoshi Shinsou, Shouta Aizawa, Denki Kaminari

Hitoshi has found a cat that now takes up his entire life.

But something's not right about this cat.

Emotional Casualty | 757 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 17 of Shinkami Month 2022 Part 4 of Dysphoria in Rubies, Gold, Lilac, and Emerald Main Character(s): Katsuki Bakugou, Hitoshi Shinsou, Denki Kaminari

Katsuki Bakugou is managing his crush on Hitoshi Shinsou okay... all things considered.

Maybe.

Not really.

He's not okay.

Nine Lives | 1,713 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 12 of Shinkami Month 2022 Main Character(s): Hitoshi Shinsou, Denki Kaminari

The glazed eyes and blank stare felt like a slap to the face, but not as much as Denki's words had felt.

"I... slept with Jiro. I was drunk! It-it didn't mean anything!"

The Psychology Of Our Chemistry | 1,125 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 10 of Shinkami Month 2022 Main Character(s): Denki Kaminari, Hitoshi Shinsou

In his second year at UA University, Denki took a Psychology class.

In truth, he wasn't even sure why he was taking it; he was a music major, but he apparently needed some extra credits, and he'll be damned before he takes, ugh, statistics.

Unknown Number | 1,205 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 8 of Shinkami Month 2022 Main Character(s): Hitoshi Shinsou, Denki Kaminari, Hanta Sero

Unknown Number:

hey, sorry if this is out of the blue

but my friend Ashido gave me your number

She said that we might hit it off?

Me:

Oh, yeah that's right. I almost forgot. I'm Shinsou.

Reconnections | 1,018 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 2 of Shinkami Month 2022 Main Character(s): Denki Kaminari, Hitoshi Shinsou

Hitoshi shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked out of work.

It was his birthday, but he had gone to great lengths to ensure that nobody knew about it.

It was just another day; he didn't like being the center of attention. He never had.

It was a hot day out - so hot that the drizzle seemed to evaporate as soon as it hit the sidewalk, making a light mist - but Hitoshi was so tired that he didn't mind.

He was so tired, n fact, that he didn't even register a certain electric blond standing in front of him, calling his name.

Here For You | 1,327 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 1 of TodoDeku Hurt/Comfort Main Character(s): Shoto Todoroki, Izuku Midoriya

What happens when a Pro Hero has a panic attack in front of other people?

He sucks it up and pretends everything is okay.

Even though it's not.

"...Sir?" | 1,208 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 31 of The Merry Whump of May Main Character(s): Mirio Togata, Background & Cameo Characters

Three people had gone missing in the past week. The three victims - one woman and two men - had been last seen in the area, and Mirio had volunteered to check out the local park.

...it hadn't helped that the last missing person had been Sir Nighteye.

"I'd rather not" | 423 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 28 of The Merry Whump of May Main Character(s): Dabi, Todoroki Family, Enji Todoroki

His body had been an inferno before, but now he was shivering in the cold, winter air. He was sitting in a ditch as far away from the Todoroki estate as he could walk, but he still didn't dare use his fire to warm himself.

"I don't know what you mean" | 652 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 26 of The Merry Whump of May Main Character(s): Hizashi Yamada, Shouta Aizawa

When Hizashi was sixteen, he was introduced to the world of gambling.

He loved the rush, the thrill when he had a good hand, the satisfaction of bluffing convincingly.

Throughout the years, he won a lot of yen that way.

...but he also lost a lot of yen that way.

"A little louder" | 497 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 25 of The Merry Whump of May Main Character(s): Tenya Iida

It was dark, so Tanya's first instinct was that he'd awoken earlier than his alarm and to roll over and return to sleep.

But the material pressing up against his back was rough.

The air was warm and heavy.

"Do you need a break?" | 720 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 24 of The Merry Whump of May Main Character(s): Denki Kaminari, Shouta Aizawa

Denki wasn't enjoying the summer training camp anymore.

He'd had remedial courses the previous night until two in the morning, then had to return to the classroom the next morning at seven.

Did Mr. Aizawa have to sleep at all?

"Don't leave me here" | 1,620 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 20 of The Merry Whump of May Main Character(s): Hizashi Yamada, Shouta Aizawa, League of Villains

Hizashi had a plan.

He hated the plan, but he had one.

And it was better than nothing.

"I'm all you need" | 568 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 19 of The Merry Whump of May Main Character(s): Keigo Takami, Dabi

He felt cold, hard ground beneath him. His eyelids cracked and he blearily saw a dark figure looming over him.

"It's getting late" | 996 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 18 of The Merry Whump of May Main Character(s): Tamaki Amajiki, Mirio Togata

"It's getting late."

"Mm-hmm."

"You should go to bed."

"Mm-hmm."

"...I'm pregnant."

"Mm-hmm."

"You're scared, aren't you?" | 919 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 16 of The Merry Whump of May Main Character(s): Shoto Todoroki, Izuku Midoriya, Chiyo Shuzenji

He always kept a strong, stoic mask on whenever he was around anyone.

He couldn't afford to let people in.

If they saw the kind of person he truly was, under his mask...

The son of Endeavor couldn't afford to show any weakness.

"Wait right here" | 358 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 13 of The Merry Whump of May Main Character(s): Ochako Uraraka, Izuku Midoriya

"Deku, where are we going?" Ochako had been sleeping when Deku had barged into her room, pulled her up out of bed, and began dragging her outside.

He was still holding her wrist tightly as he led hr away from Heights Alliance. It was early, before dawn, but he seemed unnaturally energetic.

"Deku?" she asked again, trying to get his attention. "Where are we going?"

"How squeamish are you?" | 514 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 12 of The Merry Whump of May Main Character(s): Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu, Mei Hatsume

Tetsutetsu groaned as he opened his eyes. He tried to look around, but he couldn't see anything. "What the hell..." he whispered to himself.

"Hello?" he tried calling out, but his voice faded into the air, leaving his surroundings just as empty as before.

"They're not here" | 940 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 10 of The Merry Whump of May Main Character(s): Tomura Shigaraki, Kurogiri, Katsuki Bakugou, Fumikage Tokoyami, All For One, League of Villains

Tomura paced back and forth along the length of his room. His fingernails scratched against the skin of his throat, leaving red lesions in their wake.

They should be back by now.

Why weren't they back?

If they were wasting their time, they were wasting his time.

And that couldn't go unpunished.

Back and forth. Back and forth.

"Does that hurt?" | 483 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 8 of The Merry Whump of May Main Character(s): Minoru Mineta, Original Male Character

Minoru hated his luck.

"Who died and left you in charge?" | 1,218 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 6 of The Merry Whump of May Part 1 of Jumping On The Grenade Main Character(s): Kyoka Jiro, Denki Kaminari, Hanta Sero, Eijiro Kirishima, Mina Ashido

Even with her sensitive hearing, Kyoka had trouble distinguishing where she was.

In fact, now that she thought about it, all her senses seemed to have been snuffed out.

"Mind if I cut in?" | 455 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 5 of The Merry Whump of May Main Character(s): Himiko Toga, Izuku Midoriya

Himiko Toga skipped gleefully between the couples scattered across the ballroom floor.

In her mind, they were dancing to a beautiful waltz, each of them bleeding from some gash or another, just making them even prettier.

In reality, her prisoners were each tied to a rolling chair, so weak from blood loss that they couldn't even try to escape. They were set up in pairs, unable to do anything until Himiko decided which one she wanted to play with next.

"Beg to differ" | 745 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 2 of The Merry Whump of May Main Character(s): Ochako Uraraka, Original Female Character, Shoto Todoroki

Ochako came to slowly, a cool breeze blowing against her cheek. She felt her back aching, which only confused her sleep-addled mind.

Her bed at Heights Alliance was soft and plush, and while her bed at home wasn't as good, it never left her feeling sore like this.

Her eyes blinked open, and her mind began to race in panic as she registered her surroundings.

"Don't hold your breath" | 455 words, 1/1 Chapters Part 1 of The Merry Whump of May Main Character(s): Eri, Kai Chisaki

Eri felt tears silently fall as she was led quietly down the corridor.

It was silent, always so silent.

But she preferred the silence over the screams.

This life was all that she had known, but she never got used to the screams.

Lost | 2,469 words, 1/1 Chapters Main Character(s): Katsuki Bakugou, Izuku Midoriya

While he's defending Izuku, Katsuki gets hit by an unknown Quirk. Now Izuku is acting weird, but everyone sees to think that Katsuki is the weird one.

A Cursed Life | 7,442 words, 6/? Chapters Main Character(s): Triton, Ursula, Uma, Harry Hook, Background & Cameo Characters

The reason Ursula isn't part of the whole "Escape the Isle, take over the world" deal is because she was cursed right before being trapped there. If her descendants leave the isle, they will suffer a slow death.

She knows this. She's told Uma. In fact, the only reason she HAD Uma is because she thought they'd never leave the Isle and so her daughter would be relatively safe.

That entire plan goes out the window when Uma decides she wants to be free.

#my writing #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bnha #fic recs #masterlist #rated t #read on ao3 #ao3 fanfic #ao3 link #ao3fic #ao3

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smaidjor · 3 years ago

Text

i know they're losing (Chapter 1)

hi mothers and fuckers of the jury, this fic is a hot mess but so am I, please appreciate it. Also, obligatory disclaimer this is about the characters not the people, all that important stuff.

Some important notes:

1. You will probably hate Scott just a little at points. He has chronic dumb bitch syndrome and there's a whole lot of bullshit going on in his life that you don't see in this fic because it's not his pov. That being said, he's still a bit of a jerk.

2. This has a lot of lord of the rings lore. A LOT. You may be kinda confused if you're not a lord of the rings fan. It's fine, Jimmy's confused too, and all of it will be explained at some point.

3. The chapter titles are from the Last Goodbye from the Hobbit films. The general title is from I Bet on Losing Dogs by Mitski.

4. General content warnings: there is a little blood, and a little violence, and a lot of mentioned death and morbid jokes. If you don't do well with themes involving death this fic is probably not for you. There is also possibly going to be referenced emotional abuse and generally unhealthy ways to raise children, though that will be talked about much further down the line. I will also put specific cws at the start of each chapter, don't worry!

5. The alternate title for this was '10k words of flower husbands being sad'. You have been warned.

Title: i know they're losing

Chapter Title: under clouds, beneath the stars

Current Total Wordcount: 3740

Content Warning: referenced/past character death, very frank discussion of death.

Snippet:

Scott whirls to face him, robes spinning behind him. “I’m fading, alright? I’m dying, now leave me alone!”

Jimmy feels like he’s been smacked in the face, the words hitting him with all the force of a well-thrown trident. Dying? “You- what- but elves don’t die, right?”

“We do. From poison, from swords, from arrows through the throat-” Jimmy’s hands fly to the scar on his neck, the one that matches Scott’s own- “from grief.”

AO3 Link

Actual fic under the cut

Scott’s hands are cold. That’s the first sign, the chill that’s uncharacteristic of an elf.

Scott’s chest hurts. That’s the second sign, the bone-deep ache he can’t seem to quell.

Scott is weaker than normal, and that’s the third sign, the one that confirms what’s happening beyond a shadow of a doubt. He’s fading, Scott thinks as he leans against a wall, trying to stop his head from spinning. He can’t say he’s surprised, not after all he’s been through; in fact, he’s more astonished it took so long to start.

In another world, it happens like this:

Scott’s hands are cold, and Shubble notices as he shows her around the nether. It’s worrying, a bit, how icy his skin is even in the boiling dimension, but Scott’s empire has always been cold, hasn’t it?

Katherine notices how long it’s been since Scott visited her, one of his few allies, and she worries, a bit. But Scott has always been distant, hasn’t he?

No one notices or worries enough to go check on him, and Scott fades away to nothing, cold and alone in his icy empire.

What actually happens is this:

Katherine has gotten word of the demon that haunts the server, and amongst all her worry, one of her thoughts is ‘has anyone checked on Scott?’. The answer is no, and next time she has a free day, she sets out for Rivendell. It’s not a long trip, not with elytra, anyways, and soon she’s at the doors to his keep.

“I need to see Lord Smajor,” she tells the guards.

“He’s not taking visitors right now.” is the response she gets.

“It’s a vital matter to the safety of both our kingdoms.”

They let her in.

Katherine spends far too long looking around the elegantly decorated downstairs and storage area before she realizes he must be up the spiral staircase in the corner of the room. She’s never been upstairs in Scott’s house before, which makes her a little nervous, but… this is an urgent matter, so she presses on into what turns out to be a very pretty bedroom. Decorated with bookshelves aplenty and gorgeous lanterns, it practically screams Scott.

The man (elf?) himself is harder to spot. At first, Katherine’s worried he isn’t there at all, but eventually she realizes that he’s still in bed despite the fact that it’s a quarter to one, only his pale face sticking out from under the covers.

“Scott?” She asks, cautious. “Lord Smajor?”

He blinks at her tiredly. “Hi, Katherine.”

“I came to talk to you about some empires stuff, but, I mean, if this is a bad time, I can come back later…?”

“No, no, stay.” He waves at the sole chair in the room, which is near-enough to the bed. “I can muster the energy for a meeting, just don’t ask me to get up.”

Katherine takes the seat hesitantly. “I came to talk about the corruption on the server, but- are you okay? Are you sick?”

Scott laughs, a little bitter. “In a way, yes.”

“What do you mean?”

“Take my hand.”

She obeys, confused, and finds that Scott’s hands are like ice despite the warmth of the room.

“Elves don’t get sick like mortals do,” Scott says. “Nor do we die of old age. But we get...heartsickness, you might call it. We call it fading in our tongue- the cold hands are a symptom of that. Our souls are fragile, and the grief of the mortal plane can be overwhelming. If an elf is too struck by it, they fade away and die.”

She gasps a little.

“It usually happens to old elves, world-weary,” Scott continues. “Those who are tired of existence. But any elf who has experienced enough grief is at risk.”

It takes Katherine a moment to process everything, and once she does, she stares at him in horror. “You’re- fading? But doesn’t it usually happen to old elves? Wait, are you old?”

“I’m fifty-five.”

“Is that old?”

That gets a laugh out of him. “Fifty is the elven equivalent of eighteen for humans, the age of maturity.”

“Oh.” She struggles for words for a moment, settling on “How can you be so calm if you’re dying?”

“I’m tired, Katherine. The world tore me away from the people I loved, and..I’m tired of fighting it.”

Try as she might, there’s nothing she can say to that. “Is there a way to reverse fading- to fix it?”

Something pained and raw flashes through his eyes. “Technically, yes. If an elf recovers enough emotionally, it’s reversible. But whatever caused them to fade the first time can- and often does- cause it again.”

Katherine nods seriously, absorbing the information. “We’ll just have to reverse it, then.”

“That’s sweet, Katherine, but I’m dying.”

“No,” she tells him firmly. “You’re not going to die. Now come on, you can show me your empire while I fill you in on what’s happening on the rest of the continent.”

Scott stares at her for a long moment, but eventually he takes her outstretched hand. “Alright.” His hand is frozen cold in hers. “We can try.”

Katherine lets him lead her around Rivendell, pointing out the sights. He’s done an impressive job decorating, like her, and an even more impressive job at uniting the elves and building an empire from the ground up. The people of Rivendell are weary and battle-scarred, for the most part, elves who have seen too much, but the children are bright and happy, and the cyan and gold banners wave proudly in the wind.

As they walk, she also tells Scott about the demon, Xornoth. “The demon’s already visited a lot of people, I think. Gem and Shubble for sure, and Fwhip and Sausage. That’s not even mentioning the corruption that’s been spreading.”

Scott nods. “There’s corruption in Rivendell too. Likely Xornoth’s work. And given that Jimmy still has Vilya- well, I haven’t been able to do much.”

“Vilya?”

“A ring of power. My inheritance from the Noldor.”

“Why does Jimmy have it?”

He doesn’t answer that one.

Katherine leaves feeling unsettled, with more questions than answers. She has new resolve, though, and a new goal: keep Scott from fading. He’s a good friend, though they don’t know each other that well yet, but more than that, he’s a powerful ally. And Katherine can’t afford to lose allies. So while they’re both rulers and busy in their own right, she promises to visit and drag him outside at least once a week.

“I’ll hold you to that,” Scott jokes, but his laugh is weak.

Katherine vows to hold herself to it.

The plan works for three entire weeks before Katherine has a week that’s so busy there’s no way she can find the time for a trip to Rivendell. Worse than that, because Scott is so isolated, he has almost no other friends, and many of Katherine’s allies are busy too. She’s a little short of options, to be honest, which is how she finds herself on Jimmy Solidarity’s doorstep that Sunday afternoon.

“Hello?” Jimmy asks as the door swings open. Katherine can see why Lizzie calls him the sweet swamp boy- his confused head tilt is frankly adorable.

“Hi! I know we don’t talk much, but I could use a favor,” she says.

“What can I do for you?”

“I need you to visit Scott.”

Jimmy looks beyond startled. “What- I mean, he doesn’t even like me! I couldn’t possibly.”

“Please?” She wheedles. “I promised him a visitor every week, but I have meetings all week this time.”

He shakes his head, hesitantly at first and then stronger. “No, Katherine. He’d just throw me right out again. I’m his enemy, for goodness sake!”

“If he hates you so much, why do you have his ring?”

Katherine knows she’s won, watching emotions flit across his face too quickly to catch. Grief is what he settles on, and she feels a little bit bad for the ring comment when his voice comes out wobbly.

“I guess I should return that, huh? Alright, I’ll go.”

“Sorry,” she says.

Jimmy brushes it off, saying there’s no need to worry, but he fiddles with the ring on his finger all the more. It’s on his left ring finger, Katherine notes. She wonders if that truly means what it implies.

“I’ll visit him tomorrow,” Jimmy says.

“I’ll hold you to that!”

Jimmy isn’t sure why he agreed to this at all, to be honest. Scott may have given him this ring in another world, another lifetime, but that doesn’t mean Scott doesn’t hate him in this one. What other explanation is there for how all his gifts have been rejected, how cold the elf is? Jimmy would be surprised that Scott’s never tried to take his ring back if it wasn’t for how thoroughly Scott avoids him nowadays. Getting the ring back would require talking to Jimmy, something Scott has made it very clear that he doesn’t want to do. Jimmy doesn’t have another use for it, and try as he might to forget flower fields and warm hands in his, he can’t bear to throw it away. So it’s remained on his hand all this time, a painful reminder of someone who used to love him.

Jimmy tries to avoid looking at it as much as possible, every glimpse bringing back the memory of Scott gently sliding it onto his hand, a faint blush dusting his cheeks and a smile on his lips. Even the faint shimmers in the blue gem remind him of how the starlight seemed to get caught in Scott’s hair when they were out at night. The ring had been one of their most valuable possessions on 3rd Life, the rare silver band and elegant forging more than proof of that. Now, though, the ring has to be one of the least valuable things Jimmy owns; on 3rd Life, they were humble folk in little hobbit holes, their most expensive possessions being their diamond armor and swords, but here, they’re kings and lords. Scott probably has a thousand treasures more valuable in his elven empire, so Jimmy’s not sure why he’s bothering to trek all the way across the world just to return this one.

Then again, it’s not really about the ring, and never has been. It’s about the way starlight used to shine in Scott’s eyes when he smiled, his rare, soft grin that was reserved just for Jimmy, how he gave Jimmy the most valuable thing either of them owned. It’s closure, in a way, giving it back. He won’t have any debt to Scott once this ring is returned, and they can both move on like Scott so clearly wants to.

Shaking off those thoughts, Jimmy slows to a stop in front of Scott’s house. It’s grand, nothing like his old hobbit hole, but still so clearly Scott in the decoration and color schemes. Jimmy would know who built it even if he hadn’t known Scott lived in these mountains.

“I’m here to visit Scott,” he says to the guard stationed outside.

They raise an eyebrow, presumably at the familiar way he refers to Scott. “On formal business or personal?”

“Personal? Sort of? I mean, I don’t have any diplomatic reason for being here.” Truth be told, he has no reason to be here at all, really, but...the ring.

“Then Lord Smajor cannot see you.”

Jimmy grits his teeth, suddenly furious at this whole ordeal. “Then tell Lord Smajor that I need to return his ring.”

“May I see it?”

He sticks his hand out obligingly, and the guard examines the ring, surprise blooming across their face. “I did not realize my Lord had lent you Vilya! My apologies, Lord Codfather, I see the alliance between our kingdoms is stronger than I had assumed. You may pass.”

Vilya? “Thank you, gentle, uh, gentleperson!”

The guard dips their head slightly as he walks by, a gesture of respect that he doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to. He shakes off the strangeness of the interaction, though, pushing open the door to Scott’s house.

The inside is beautiful, exactly the kind of decor Scott loves...and empty. There’s no one in the spacious kitchen, the storage room, or anywhere else for that matter. Jimmy’s seconds from giving up and going home when he realizes that there are stairs up to the balcony above. That’s where he goes, finding himself in Scott’s bedroom.

Which is awkward, to say the least. It’s not like they never slept in the same room when they were married, but now that there’s this awkward, painful distance between them, Jimmy feels like he’s intruding. What’s worse is, Scott’s still in bed, laying on his side with his face tilted away from Jimmy’s awkward entrance.

“Hello, Jimmy.”

Jimmy half-jumps, not expecting that. “How’d you know it was me?”

Scott rolls over to face him, and Jimmy notes that his face is too pale for it to be natural or healthy. “Do you think I could ever forget the sound of your footsteps?” He goes on before Jimmy can answer. “What are you doing here?”

“Katherine asked me to visit, I’m not sure why, but...here I am. Say, why is she visiting every week?”

Scott’s laugh is bitter. “Katherine thinks she can save me.”

“Save you from what?” Jimmy asks, concerned despite himself.

His (ex?)husband doesn’t reply.

“Save you from what?” Jimmy presses, and gets no answer yet again.

Instead, Scott sits up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. “You should go.” He stands, and immediately stumbles, Jimmy rushing to steady him on instinct. Scott’s hands are like ice when he grips Jimmy’s arm to regain his balance, taking several deep breaths, and Jimmy’s instantly struck by how wrong that feels. Scott’s hands were always warm, even on the coldest nights in 3rd life. Some elven thing, probably, that Scott didn’t want to talk about or have time to explain to a silly human like Jimmy.

“Scott, what is going on?”

The elf brushes him off again, heading for the stairs, but the regal effect is ruined by how hard he has to grip the railing.

“Scott, seriously! Answer me, are you okay? What’s happening?”

Scott whirls to face him, robes spinning behind him. “I’m fading, alright? I’m dying, now leave me alone!”

Jimmy feels like he’s been smacked in the face, the words hitting him with all the force of a well-thrown trident. Dying? “You- what- but elves don’t die, right?”

“We do. From poison, from swords, from arrows through the throat-” Jimmy’s hands fly to the scar on his neck, the one that matches Scott’s own- “from grief.” Scott turns back to the stairs. “Come on. If you’re not going to leave, I might as well show you around.”

Jimmy follows, reluctantly, trying to think of something to say that isn’t incoherent sputtering with a bit of ‘why do you hate me now’ added in. “You can’t just drop something like that on a man, you know!”

“You did ask, to be fair.”

Why oh why is he so stupid around Scott? “I guess so, but- but still, dude.”

Scott pushes open the side door, holding it for Jimmy. “Here.”

Jimmy nods and slips through the door. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

They start along the path, Scott walking far too quickly for Jimmy’s comfort given how terrible the elf’s balance is currently. He nearly has to jog to keep up, irritatingly, but at least they aren’t snapping at each other for a few precious moments.

Of course, Jimmy has to go and ruin that. “So, uh..are we going to talk about 3rd life?” He has to hear it from Scott’s own lips that he remembers, that it affected him even half as much as it’s affected Jimmy.

“No.”

“Why not? We need to talk about it some time-”

“I said no .”

“It’s literally killing you to not talk about it!”

Scott freezes, face going icy calm in the way Jimmy knows means he’s actually upset. The elf’s hands grip the fabric of his robes tight, his back going rigid. This is a bad idea, Jimmy knows.

He’s in too deep to back out now, though, the pent-up hurt of the past few months all coming out in a rush. “Tell me I’m wrong, Scott! I dare you, tell me I’m wrong! Tell me you never cared about me, tell me you didn’t bother to bury me, tell me it didn’t hurt even a little when I died! Tell me I was just stupid little Jimmy, a toy for an elf who’d live far beyond my lifespan! Tell me whatever, just tell me the truth! ”

Scott breathes out slowly, fury gradually building on his face. “Fine. You want to know what happened after you died? You want to hear about me screaming until my throat went raw? You want to know that I kissed your face and sobbed and begged you to wake up, over and over until I couldn’t speak at all? You want to live with the knowledge that Grian had to physically pull me away from your body? Is that what you want to hear, Jimmy ?”

Jimmy’s name on Scott’s lips punches all the remaining air out of him, sounding so wrong in that angry, bitter tone. Beneath all the rage, Scott sounds wrecked , and the fight leaves Jimmy’s body abruptly. “No,” he says softly. “That’s not what I want to hear, not at all. I’d rather you be happy than love me.”

Silence follows those words, only the faint sound of a waterfall in the distance there to break it.

“I buried you on the hill above our houses,” Scott says finally. “I planted a poppy over your grave.”

“Oh.”

“Grian came over the next day. I didn’t want to see anyone who wasn’t you, but I let him in because I had to. He helped me do the straps on my armor and asked me if he could do anything else to make things easier. I told him to bury me next to you.”

Jimmy swallows hard. “Did he?”

“How would I know?” Scott’s tone softens, just a little. “Grian was honorable enough, though, loyal to his allies. I like to think he did.”

“He was a good guy,” Jimmy agrees. “A little bit bloodthirsty, I guess, but good. I don’t suppose he survived any better than the rest of us, though maybe being bloodthirsty helped.”

“Maybe.”

“Can I- can I ask you why you hate me so much now? I mean, if you mourned me in third life and all.”

Scott turns away again, starting down the path a second time. He’s not looking at Jimmy when he says “I don’t hate you.”

“You don’t?” It’s a shock, honestly, given that this is the first time the two of them have really spoken since the beginning of empires. “But you burned the pufferfish-”

“I didn’t. I kept it.” Scott still won’t look at him. “I never hated you. I don’t think I’m capable of it.”

“Then why do you keep avoiding me?”

“I’ve been kind of busy dying,” Scott says dryly, and Jimmy doesn’t even realize it’s a joke until he looks over at Scott’s wry little grin.

“Scott! That’s not funny!” He scolds, aghast.

“It was a little funny.”

“No!”

Scott must hear the genuine distress in Jimmy’s voice because he drops the act. “Jimmy, I’m an elf. I won’t live far beyond you, but only because I’ll fade without you.”

“So your solution is to isolate yourself and fade now?” Jimmy demands.

“It does sound stupid when you put it like that, doesn’t it? But I lost you once, and I don’t think I could bear it again.”

Jimmy wants to argue, wants to fight him on this, but there’s nothing he can say. Instead, he puts a hand on Scott’s arm to stop him walking any further. Scott turns to look at him, seemingly startled, and Jimmy throws his arms around the elf.

Scott stiffens before slowly relaxing, arms coming up to wrap around Jimmy in return. It’s not as natural a gesture as it used to be, but it’s warm, gentle in a way Jimmy thought he’d never get again. It reminds him of the soft, starry-eyed boy who put flowers in his hair and laughed at him over a cake. Scott will never be that soft again and Jimmy will never be unscarred, but they’re here. They’re alive, that has to count for something.

Scott pulls back, his expression so achingly tender and heartbroken all at once. “I’m sorry, Jimmy.” His voice is raw, a little shaky. “I can’t. Not again.”

“But-”

He’s cut off by Scott shaking his head. “Losing you will destroy me. We dared to love, and now all we can do now is lessen the pain when it all comes crashing down.”

Jimmy’s in too much shock to speak, the ache in his heart returning tenfold as Scott turns back towards the house.

“Goodbye, Jimmy.” He sweeps away, elegant as ever, but stumbles and nearly falls as he reaches the door. Jimmy’s not there to catch him.

Jimmy stumbles home in a daze. It's somewhat of a miracle that no mob manages to kill him, honestly. To be so close to a resolution, to have the person he wanted most right there in his arms, and then to have all that ripped away- he can’t think of anything that could have hurt more. Even his deaths were less painful than this- at least an arrow through the throat is quicker than feeling like your heart is being ripped out through your ribs, Jimmy thinks, a little bitter. He throws Scott’s stupid ring in a pool in the swamp, watching as it sinks to the bottom of the shallow water with hardly a bubble.

Wait.

The ring.

It’s significant, somehow, according to a Rivendell guard, and more than that, it’s an excuse to see Scott again. One last chance to change his mind about the stupid plan that’s literally killing him.

Jimmy dives in without thinking, scrabbling around until his fingers close around the smooth stone and thin band. When he pulls it out, the gem glitters in the starlight even under the layers of dirt, and it looks like something special. It looks like hope.

#scott smajor #jimmy solidarity #flower husbands #uhh #empires smp #i wont tag 3rd life since its only referenced #my writing

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