#HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!! I GET ION ART!!!

[champion-ion]

[Game of Dice] December 2023: 2nd Week

YouTube: [X]

[~☆~]

This Week's Events

▪ 2023 Game of Dice Awards [Skills] (Facebook/Twitter/Naver Comment Event) ▫ Notice: [X] ▪ TEN TEN Mission ▪ Glass Bridge ▪ Genius Medal in My Selection ▪ GOD Pay - Refine/Craft (Saturday - Monday) ▪ Demon Kai & Witch Trainee Scarlett (Sunday - Tuesday) ▫ Requires purchase to obtain one of the 2 characters in a selector, if you do not already have one of them ▫ Cheaper to random refine during this event up to 6P. ▫ Upgrade star pieces require real money. ▪ Change Goods Transcend Buff (Monday - Wednesday) ▫ New event. ▪ 500 Limited Package (Tuesday - Wednesday) ▫ Resource package.

[~☆~]

New Skill: Rapid Fire

▪ Cheese (Edition): Give a random opponent [Curse 200%], then summon to your random city. (Not considered a debuff) Repeat above effect 1 time.

[everygame]

A Christmas Adventure (Apple II) Developed/Published by: Chartscan Data, Inc. Released: 12/1983 Completed: 11/12/2023 Completion: Couldn’t get Rudolph to drink his bloody milk.

Well, it’s been two years since I thought I’d “have a look at the earliest Christmas games” and I managed to play… one of them. And then last year I was sick for most of December so I didn’t really play anything other than tapping miserably at Marvel Snap. But I’m back, baby!

First up, I owe almost all understanding of this game to Joe Pranevich over at The Adventurer’s Guild who has written an insanely detailed post on it which I highly recommend reading, but I’ll summarise some of the findings here.

A Christmas Adventure is generally considered online to be the second Christmas-themed video game ever released commercially, following the somewhat bizarre Santa’s Sleigh Ride, but I’ve since discovered that there’s several ZX Spectrum games with a 1983 date (including one, potentially lost media, called A Christmas Adventure as well???) so there’s probably more out there for like… the Dragon 32 and shit. But let’s talk about this one anyway. What makes it more interesting than just potentially being the second Christmas-themed video game ever is that it isn’t just, as you might expect, a Christmas cash-in, but an attempt by a French Canadian fellow named Frank Winstan to make video games that acted as greeting cards. Mind how for a while personalised children’s books were all the rage, and you got this crappy book where a jpeg of your child’s face was awkwardly stuck on the main character? Like that basically, with the idea that they’d start with this Christmas “card” and then do… well probably Easter, and then branch out to like… “Happy 43rd Birthday: the adventure” or “Sorry Your Grandma is Dead: the adventure” I guess!

Unfortunately (or not) due to time pressures they never quite managed to get the company off the ground, with this selling poorly its first Christmas, although Winstan would continue to work on it through 1986(!) updating and improving it. As far as I know, I’m playing a version from the same era ion Pranevich did, which seems to be a later version than the one you can watch on Youtube.

Anyway. A Christmas Adventure is an early graphical text adventure; originally released in 1983, it would be contemporary with the very end of Sierra’s Hi-Res Adventure line before they’d go on to make the more sophisticated King’s Quest, and surprisingly, very few other examples, making this… sorta cutting edge?

What does feel cutting edge actually is the opening cinematic, which you have to flip the disk to see, which includes an animation where you fly to Santa’s Ice Palace. Sierra’s Hi-Res Adventures have insanely terrible art (well, apart from Dark Crystal I’d say, which has a near stained-glass window approach) so getting something that generally looks like it’s had a bit of effort put in is rather nice.

Telling that classic story, “Santa’s been kidnapped and only YOU can save him” after the intro you’re dropped in his house and have to wander about picking things up and using them to save him. I very quickly hit the issue that has stopped me bothering to play any of Sierra’s early output: the parser is terrible. Doing literally anything is a nightmare, and I will fully admit I had to use Pranevich’s article to walk me through the game, and he had to hex edit it just to understand how to solve it!

It’s confusing, because this is a commercial concept based on greetings cards. Now, I imagine nowadays you can probably get “escape room” greeting cards where you have to like, solve a fucking cypher or whatever to see something that says “We’re getting divorced” (and if there isn’t, I should get on that) but in general, if you’re giving someone a gift like that you want them to… enjoy it? I really assumed that this would be very simple. You know, for kids. I mean you’re saving SANTA. Not Santana (ft. Rob Thomas) which would of course be for cool adults only.

I suppose I’ve said it before, but maybe people in 1983 were made of sterner stuff; less likely to give up. I guess some puzzles in this are easy, like dressing up like Santa to fool his safe, or the disk that tells you the password right on it (Santa’s Jewish???) But then like… there’s a time machine. And there’s just so much wrestling with the parser to get anything done. Typing “HELP” gives you a list of words that the parser understands which is, 100%, a lie, because almost all the words don’t work.

Ultimately, it’s the reason I couldn’t finish this. In his article, Pranevich was able to feed Rudolph, but despite having stuck the “was’bask+mlk” in the fireplace I could not feed him. I went through every possible thing I could imagine, really tried to get Martin Luther King out of that was’bask, but I’m starting to believe the archive.org version of this is just bugged. It is what it is, and I watched the ending on youtube (and for good measure used the HELP to see the message as well.)

Feels a bit harsh to say this isn’t good despite the fact it it is, er… not good, just because it’s an interesting attempt at something that just seems to have come at the wrong time and with some rather wrong-headed ideas about how challenging it has to be. Also: it didn’t make me feel christmassy at all!

Will I ever play it again? I have a save. If anyone can tell me what to type to get Rudolph to eat I’m making that bastard eat.

Final Thought: It’s worth noting that you can really feel the developers–at least Frank Winstan?--cared about this project because it’s full of little touches. I love that Santa has a poster of Bob and Doug McKenzie’s backdrop up (as Canadian a reference as you’re going to get) and there’s non-sequiturs like Pac-Man showing up for a hot minute.

Support Every Game I’ve Finished on ko-fi! You can pick up a digital copy of exp. 2600, a zine featuring all-exclusive writing at my shop, or join as a supporter at just $1 a month and get articles like this a week early.

[tomatograter]

Do you have a list anywhere of your favorite hs fics?

I suppose it’s appropriate I make one now! will prolly come back to add on at some point, but as it stands

HERE’S THE FIC RECS: (it is quite long, click the readmore)

Last updated Sept 10 2021 !

Perpetuity => https://archiveofourown.org/works/12835047

Written pre-epilogues, largely about mending damaged bridges after the game. I always mention this fic as what settled me back into hs as a fandom and dirk/jake

A Palate Cleanser  =>  https://archiveofourown.org/works/21642637

The jake eulogy we missed on candy. it’s real good. (now with a podfic version on the second chapter!!!!)

It’s only a canvas sky

==> https://archiveofourown.org/works/28718544

Their guardians dead at the hands of the Condesce, growing up in the shadow of her slow takeover of the Skaian Federation, Dirk Strider and Jake English have spent their whole lives alone up until shortly before their twelfth birthdays.

Or: Dirk fixes a transmitter, makes a friend, builds a robot, and tries to communicate affection over distance to the barest possible minimum.

(A good mix of fluff/angst/yearning, captures early & friendship dirkjake REALLY well, a good analogue au to their canon upbringing!!)

Sburgatoria  => https://archiveofourown.org/works/20726822/chapters/49242167

What if we were four lesbians stuck in an uncanny valley real housewives purgatory-esque-suburbia and we bickered then kissed 😳

Prologos 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23961157

“Sadstuck for the discerning jakeliker”

Magnesium Ion, Porphyrin Ring  => https://archiveofourown.org/works/21787465/chapters/51988876

Jade + Jake exploration throughout their growing up years, the relationship they had to their guardians and to one another between split realities and time. 

I Know What You Think Of Me  =>  https://archiveofourown.org/works/21516589

You never knew you wanted vriska and jake to be friends but now…. you do! and they’re going to gut a mountain of salmon to get there. Hilariously masterful vrisrezi to boot.

What Happens In-Between =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24240424/chapters/58409713

i KNOW you aren’t done with jaded fisheries observer vriska just yet and for that i’m thankful to say, we have a sequel, and dirk is in it to her great annoyance

Drive it home with one headlight  => https://archiveofourown.org/works/19281412/chapters/45856705

The Hitchhikers Guide to Your Ex-Boyfriend ==>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25747519/chapters/62875855

EXTENSIVELY ILLUSTRATED!!!! Post-canon fanadventure focusing on jake, brain ghost dirk, and a very concerned third party inhabiting jake’s brain that isn’t all too happy with the current turn of dubiously canon events. Still updating, very fun and smart.

The Four Kings, the God Thief, and the Black Diamond Pirates =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17886581/chapters/42220607

DIRK AND VRISKA. PIRACY. SONG. HOES (JAKE)

Sea shanties for Thots (Four kings sequel) =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22210135/chapters/53028541

jake needs to adjust to his new life and occupation overseas, ft; more songs, more piracy, and schrodinger’s hoe. Extensively jake-introspective, told through his POV.

Song of the Pyre =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10875459/chapters/24161439

EPIC SCALE vrisrezi space opera ft. hardass legislacerator Terezi & outlaw Vriska being forced to work together after they sort-of-accidentally kill terezi’s shitty clown ex. Feelings are caught, trials are held, there’s a revolution coming. Delightfully written. Reads as pretty solid and complete despite the 19/21 chapters done - ACT 1 counts as a book of its own, ACT 2 is solid.

Pilot Light, Pale rapture (full series)  => https://archiveofourown.org/series/1403233

“They want you on Olympus, they want you on a faraway star watching the planet turn benignly. They want the original Gods in the four corners of the earth, protectors in an invisible palace. “And the Witch sat vigil in her southern eastmost realm, looking down upon her descendants,” they’d say, “and saw that it was good.

You do not have an Olympus. You have a house that smells like burnt toast, because Davepeta did just that only an hour ago.”

Prospit kids + Really Good and Fun earth C shenanigans ensue. Incredible insightful exploration on Jade, her childhood, and mostly what happens after the curtains close and she finally has time to be awake.

After Meat, Aftermath. (full series)  => https://archiveofourown.org/series/1420354

In one universe, college!au Rose lalonde takes barre classes. In another, arguably more relevant one, Rosebot peers into her life. this will lead to inevitable chaos. incredible rose + kanaya + vriska + jake + dirk focus and one of my fav AU’s.

*below are my favorite dirk-focused works:*

Detective Pony

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2427119/chapters/5371283

At first I didn’t include this one, having taken for granted that everyone had read it already, but I think as of ‘21 the fandom is a bit different and not many have. Facts being: this is the definitive solo Dirk Strider story; seamless with the detective pony book dirk edits in homestuck-proper, deeply indulgent, funny, and cathartic, one might even say. Also an audiobook and a webseries, if that’s more up to your speed!

A Eulogy for Laplace’s Demon  (After Meat, Aftermath spinoff)  =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20047735/chapters/47475769

A good jump-in point for AM,A but hugely more focused on dirk arguing with his own demons. Doesn’t pull any punches.

Dualshock Desertbloom =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18428552/chapters/43651733

Dirk wakes up in a scalding liminal space and splinters his beta self out of his body like an amoeba parting in two. It’s a Predicament. They have to learn how to cohabitate if they want to try to figure out what the fuck is going on, and Dirk can’t help but prod and poke around to learn more about his twisted-funhouse-mirror-self along the way. Really meaty character-study, some of my favorite dirkvoice (and brovoice) passages are definitely all over here.

House of Dirk => https://archiveofourown.org/works/19156126/cha pters/45530146

dirk and caliborn, in a sitcom, holding hands. nothing bad could ever possibly happen

Timaeus, Testified. => https://archiveofourown.org/works/19479223/chapters/46368625

“go crazy go stupid!!!!!!” - dirk strider, metamonster

*Fun / short / thoughtful stories:*

Two idiots at Homoville, N69, TX

==> https://archiveofourown.org/works/26130925

Dirk freaks out and goes on r/relationships to try and figure out how to mend the semi-relationship he has with his weird roommate. (hint: his name starts with J)

Light Without Effulgence

==> https://archiveofourown.org/works/25986289

Rose is having a writer’s block. Jake is bored in the middle of his family’s own vacation. They sit down to mercilessly pick at each other’s brains, and the results may surprise you (not clickbait)

Interrogating the text from the wrong perspective  => https://archiveofourown.org/works/615521

(Calliope and Rose have fandom wars. Its really funny)

Witching Hour  =>  https://archiveofourown.org/works/12620732

Eschewal  =>  https://archiveofourown.org/works/4284384

jake goes ham

Dreamscapers => https://archiveofourown.org/works/22455073/chapters/53653849

Stygian blue =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23946412/chapters/57588850

Terezi and brain ghost Vriska have a conversation. (illustrated!!!)

Bitter =>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30871334

Jaw-dropping JadeRose comic oneshot; meta, jealousy, crushes, and girls being a little off.

*FANADVENTURE CORNER:*

CHOICELESS HOPE

==> https://archiveofourown.org/works/28100313/chapters/68850048#workskin

Your name is TEREZI PYROPE.

You have been searching the depths of the FURTHEST RING for CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND, PRETEENHOOD NEMESIS, TEEN SWEETDIAMOND, and POSSIBLE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE, VRISKA SERKET, for what may or may not have been THREE MONTHS.

-

Near the start of her search for Vriska, Terezi is offered a choice.

KITTYQUEST

==> https://mspfa.com/?s=32792&p=2

Centuries in the future, the daughter of jade harley and davepeta pierces together what it is like to grow up knowing your parents and much of your extended family are immortal beings. Incredible art, lots of really really fun cameos and incredible worldbuilding (Not epilogue compliant, barely credits compliant, remains one of my favorite extended pocket universes to this day.)

FAILURE TO LAUNCH

==> https://mspfa.com/?s=34750&p=1

It’s june egbert’s first night out! From the official TV programme summary; “Starring the one and only JUNE EGBERT! Who knows what shenanigans will ensue… Wild hootenannies? Late night pizza picnics? ROMANCE??? Tune in and find out on FAILURE TO LAUNCH!” this can only ever end well, right?

THERAPYSTUCK

==> https://mspfa.com/?s=36345&p=3

That’s right, buckos. The lot of you are going to therapy. Turns out after a member of the tight-knit god community (Sollux) decides to seek a little help, more shenanigans were sure to follow.

[nothingsolutions]

Mike Fortune /m ./

Hops on ft n instantly starts bouncing ideas about new clothing wit me

Talking about the technical aspects of waistbands 

(10 mins in no questions asked)

Best year on earth: 2011. 11 is my number. Crazy year. First year off probation. Could actually party. Gramps died. Lived life to fullest. Met first gf. Life changed this year. It’s 11 years later. 

I live off 11’s. mike fortune is 11 letters. born at 11:11. year I graduated.

Year I told myself ima b artist if people like it or not.

Dream planet 2 live on: earth. I’m already here but I’m not living yet. I’m tryin to concur this planet b4 the next.

How many chains: depending on how u style it at least 2. Choker necklace wit a chain, layers r the key. Simple is clean but I'm all bout being extra.

if in the case of fire: grab family first or anyone that is in need of being rescued cause fuck that ppl need saving

proceeds to tell me about this time he helped a lady out of a freeway accident. his take away is to act on instincts. 

don’t hesitate.

Most interesting color: green. resembles everything I want money, life, trees, land, wealth, good vibes everything good in life g

New motto: everything’s green

(Leveling up this year)

Very GQ of you. Suave.

1st Genre of music that comes 2 head: rap

Most influential genre: Pink Floyd (y) v inspired wanna play guitar like David Gilmore don’t care bout no1 else. his guitar hits the soul.

/Emotional factor of life

//Goes back 2 hippy vibe n reminds him of freedom and expression

Calls his dog, Baby, a little yorkie. nickname dababy

(5 min discussion on darting vs pleating)

R wings efficient? for the most part, life isn’t always fair shit happens

Splatt: its da spallllllttt (tiktok) dont worry it sweetheart 

Ur credit card #: splatt!

Oldest pair of shoes (that u still own): hi top canvas doc Martens. don’t ever wear em still brand new all blacked out everything black wanna paint the sole n put another type of laces. 6 years old.

what inanimate object is your muse? Guitar or industrial sewing machine or my chick. I cant pin it down to one oh wait or my 1969 VW bug 

Geopolitical: geometric symbols wait geometric patterns wait yeah no no no sacred geometry 

Most interesting word: flabbergasted (y) ion kno it’s English but it’s just funky but it makes sense. U kno what it means w/o knowing the definition. just sounds like something. 

Thoughts People eating pancakes: I love pancakes. I condone. Extra butter I want it sweet. I like French toast 2 but I like pancakes more

Do u sleep? Yea but I have a hard time sleeping by myself. My mind wanders. I stay up late researching and thinking of my next move. I look for inspo all night. 

Creative juices get flowing at night. Every1 minding own biz with no distractions. 

Damn it kinda late I gotta go 2 sleep

I shoulda done this during the day but here we are

How did u get the steeze: inspired by my uncle. Skating, tattoos and overall lifestyle. He was very punk and into raw edgy shit. Wore all black / punk patchwork grungy shit. Silver chains. Learned 2 sew from his mom. Dad is an airbrusher. His family taught him his way.  

Last meal on earth wut is it: I want 5 lobsters or so. Never ending lobster 

1 project at a time or all over? scatterbrained. I’m always juggling. I should b in a circus man. I stop sewing midway and start painting. I would b a fool to stop whatever I’m doing. 2 creative 2 stop.

Gonna b in this industry regardless. Or art. Something. 

Some1 u look up 2: Basquiat

You can define crazy in 2 diff ways how messy it is or how perfect it is.

Never liked 2 take order and direction 

Candy from ur childhood u miss: Twix. not a sweet tooth anymore. I like sour candy now. I miss loving chocolate.

When is it time 2 stop: when its becoming a problem

Achievement ur most proud of: having a sense of what he wanna do with his life. Regardless if it works out or not

Big project rt now: myself

Happy 16th birthday: 2 time felon on probation. halfway through my probation. nothing special spent it at home. Felonies at 15 getting outta sophomore year. Spent 2 1/2 yrs on probation.

Biggest impacts on his life.

Would rather risk chasing dreams than be on probation.

Rlly affected his time in high school 

I couldn't go 2 parties had 2 be home. Missed out on a lot.

Everything he missed out on was made up for after that next summer

Patience is a virtue but karma is a bitch

I don’t regret any of it. Learned a lot. Made me who I am.

Promo: this is the Truman show

I wake up with that lets get it attitude

or I needa brush my teeth

or like ugghhhhh

or Where’s my vape

Ima b here doing my thing

Real g’s move in silence like lasagna 

[dopcmine]

   ⋆     𝑰𝑵𝑻𝑹𝑶𝑫𝑼𝑪𝑰𝑵𝑮 —  * ⋆ ╰  hey , did you happen to see DAMON NAM on campus today ? you know , the JEON JUNGKOOK look-alike in our seven am class ? yeah , that SENIOR . ah , well they had their SILVER NECKLACE on their desk this morning and left without it . i wanted to return it … but i have to get to class in five minutes . wait , don’t you see them around at THE APARTMENTS ? oh , great ! can you bring it to HIM then ? ugh , thank you so much. you’re the best ! now i know they get the rep of being EGOCENTRIC but you don’t have to worry . they’re always MAGNETIC . and who knows , maybe you two’ll hit it off ! i know that they’re a INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS major too . well , i have to jet before i miss my exam but i’ll catch you at the frat party later , right ? oh , you should bring DAMON ! it’s always fun having the PLAYBOY around .

𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒔 :

fullname: damon nam

nicknames: none

age: twenty-three

d.o.b: april 15, 1996

zodiac: aries sun, leo moon, scorpio rising

gender: cismale

sexuality: bisexual

occupation: tattoo artist @ body electric tattoo and piercing 

𝒔𝒐𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍 𝒎𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒂 :

twt & insta handle: p7ayboy

insta followers: 1.3m

twt followers: 1m

tik tok: 750k

𝒂𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒄 :

cruisin’ around l.a with the windows down, drinking cold beers on a hot summer afternoon, old school music playing loudly from his apartment, late night kbbq dates with the gang, old childhood scars from fights and playing outside until late evening, silver jewelry around his neck and wrists, street racing, rolling blunts on the hood of his car, face smudge with oil and sweat working on his car, stumbling around the city on the lookout for his favorite food trucks, tattoos up to his neck and down his arms all the way to his back, a gold virgin mary necklace hanging from his rear view mirror, belting out to romantic spanish music drunk and slurring the words, always moving forward and never looking back, selfish tendencies, playing with people like a deck of cards, carrying a butterfly knife with him at all times

𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 :

born and raised in east los angeles, damon had to grow up a little faster than his peers. he comes from a working class family, his parents both public school teachers trying to get by like every other family. being one of the very little korean-american families in maravilla, damon used to get picked on and bullied to the point he refused to get out of bed in his early elementary days. but like any kid, he made friends with some of the neighborhood kids that went to the same school he did, and they stuck by his side. it gave damon the confidence to stand up for himself now that he had his little group to the point he repeated the bad words they taught him in spanish to the same little boys that would pick on him, not knowing what it meant but knowing it was something about their moms that caused one his many first fights to break out in the school yard. after that, damon and his little band of misfits became a little notorious for getting into scuffles with other students. 

he stayed in maravilla up until high school, venturing north to a new house due to his dad being offered the position of principal at a junior high. damon went on to attend lincoln high school but it wasn’t hard to fit in, nor was it difficult to fall into step with a new group of friends ( some of which he knew from his earlier days when he used to sneak out of his house with his friend and venture off ). high school was a ride, even if damon had found a place where he belonged people still loved to talk shit and damon loved nothing more than confrontation. he got into fights behind grocery stores, there was fights in empty parking lots where groups of people showed up before everyone scattered the moment they heard cop sirens down the street. damon did get caught once for a misdemeanor the summer before sophomore year and his parents had to get him out which was a hell of a ride home, both his parents almost losing their voices taking turns yelling at him. 

it was that moment that his parents made him attend mandatory after school classes, starting smack in the middle of summer. it’s safe to say he was very angry about it but found no outlet to get it out on when he was confined to the library. he started doodling instead of doing his homework while he was in there, soon off he started drawing more and he had talent. he could draw any picture you put in front of him just by looking at it, and soon he started to create his own. that very same summer, on one of the rare days his parents let him out to go to one his friend’s birthday party, he met their older brother, covered in tattoos from his legs to his arms. old english font and a portrait of a woman he later learned was his wife. he was entranced by the ink that decorated the man, asking him questions as the man grilled the carne asada, coughing every once in a while the smoke blew in his direction. 

too keep it short, damon wanted to do that. he wanted to draw permanent drawings on people and he wanted his own. he drew more, filling more sketchbooks with his own ideas and interpretations of others. he started working odd jobs after school, trying to save up for his own tattoo gun and ink, even venturing off to tattoo shops to observe them before he got told to scram. at the age of sixteen he had his own set and it wasnt long before his friends lined up to get their first tattoos done by damon. just little small things that didn’t require damon to worry too much about safety and health. the first tattoo he made on himself was a lucky eight ball and a match, now faded on the sides of his fingers. 

at seventeen his got his fake id not only for booze but to get a job at a parlor -- not tattooing -- but cleaning up after them, keeping the store tidy and clean. he had a car at the time, an old beat up chevy, and it took him thirty minutes to get to body electric. the owner new damon was underage but he let him work anyway. point is, he was taken under his wing and became an intern, an apprentice, and by the time damon hit eighteen and got his tattoo license, he was able to work a couple hours at first. from 18 to now, damon has been in the same place with a booming following on social media -- which is thanks to his good looks and talent. 

he’s been wanting to drop out of ucla because of how in-demand he is now. he’s tattooed celebrities, from socialites to rappers to all sorts of people. he hooks up his old friends from where he grew up for free, and his close friends at school too. but overall, damon makes hella bank now. which is why he finds school pointless, however, the owner of the parlor he works out told him that if he didn’t finish his bachelors he’ll fire him. the owner definitely grew to treat damon as a son, and wants him to venture out and travel with his talent, but he wants him to be smart about it and learn the ropes of the business industry. it’s why damon stays despite not being too happy about it, but it’s his last year and he’s going to make it one shot of patron at a time. 

𝒇𝒖𝒏 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒔: 

damon is trilingual -- english, korean, and spanish ( considering he grew up in a heavily latinx/chincax neighborhood as a child, the language latched on to him ). 

he’s very appreciative of the chicanx culture because he grew up around it, and they took him in despite not being chicanx himself he was still treated as family by his close friends. ( and also because i’m biased to my own culture and east los is heavily mexican/latinx )

he almost joined a gang but it was around the time he was forced into after school study where he found his outlet through art. 

he knows how to dance pero like cumbias and shit, he’s hella good at it.

damon makes it his goal to be good at everything, it doesn’t even matter what it is. 

he has a bmw he fixed up and uses it for street racing -- races which he wins most of the times ( just ask dae lmao ). 

he can drive under the influence of weed but i do not condone this behavior !! but he can do it, but he’s beent doing it, don’t try this at home guys, or alone. 

damon was a little heartthrob in high school though, going out with the girls and hooking up with some guys. 

he was honestly one of the popular kids growing up, he was in THAT group that people longed to be a part of because they were always out mobbing, drinking, throwing parties and being out. they had fun, but they were also notorious trouble-makers. 

his tik tok thing started as a joke because damon looked like the eboys that began to trend and now he has dae help him film them just for the hell of it, because why not. he’s got nothing to lose, it’s a good laugh in the end. 

is a gym rat, he’s out there doing weights and bulking up and boxing because sometimes he just wants to procrastinate his homework and that’s valid, plus he’s gotta stay in shape with all that heavy drinking and weed intake. 

patron is his best friend -- after dae of course lmao.

damon’s actually never been in love??? like he’s had maybe three s/o’s but it was never that serious? except maybe for his first one? but he’s never experienced something where he feels genuine care for a person and love, it’s mostly just lust and like the need to experience what it’s like being with someone but it never rlly takes off

𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔:

gang shit: this one’s already taken up by whoever’s in the no homo chat but like, let me plot out dynamics with you all cause ion know how damon is gonna treat y’all characters if we don’t talk about it lmao

enemies: damon could always use some tbh, those are fun because damon grew up around people that have given him a hard time and he isn’t one to back down from a good altercation 

an ex: listen, damon isn’t that great of a person he probably cheated on them only because he didn’t know they were exclusive and frankly, he doesn’t really even remember agreeing to be something but they were and even if damon knew, he still went ahead and did it.

highschool sweetheart, THE ex: listen this one is...particular and super specific. must be a girl/nb but latinx because i picture this being the person who really really taught damon more than he already knew, from dancing to romantic spanish music, etc. perhaps they weren’t in love but they did care about each other, damon even still has a gift i picture she gave him ( a gold virgin mary necklace ) hanging from his rear view mirror. this is like...when we can take up more chars ig? idk just thought i’d write it down

flings: hookups ig? except not people involved with dae cause he isn’t about to fuck no sloppy seconds lmao, if not he venturing out to usc away from ucla lmaooo

idk what else to add im so tired and this is so late and i just want to post it, so if y’all got anything else just hmu tbh

[randomrichards]

THE BEST MOVIE MOMENTS OF 2018:

HONORABLE MENTION:

The Opening/Closing Credits from BUDDIES

I’m putting this as honorable mention because this is an older movie recently rereleased.

The first film about the AIDS Crisis, Buddies strikes at the heart with its opening credits with a typed list of AIDS victim up to 1985. Set to a mournful score by Jeffrey Olmstead, the never ending list of lives cut short puts you in tears.

Alex Honnold faces Boulder Problem in FREE SOLO

Most thrillers can only wish they could be as gripping as in the moment when Alex Honnold maneuver’s his way through the most challenging section of El Capitan Wall without rope in this Documentary.

Ray Offers Wisdom from Mid90s

“If you looked in anybody else’s closet, you wouldn’t trade your shit for their shit.”

Ray (Na-kel Smith) and his friends may not be the best role models for the impressionable Stevie (Sunny Suljic), but in this moment, Ray teaches him a lesson in perspective.

Glenn Close’s performance in THE WIFE

I’m not referring to any moment. Just Glenn Close’s acting. She speaks more volumes with her face than most actresses could with dialogue.

10)        The Beach Scene from ROMA

Cleo (Yalitza Aparicio) is an extraordinary woman. Sure, her life hanging towels and cleaning dog poo doesn’t seem like anything special. But like many lower working-class people, she endures. Boy does she endure a lot of shit in this movie. Not only does her deadbeat boyfriend ditch her to practice martial arts, but her baby is born dead. Despite all this, she not only continues her work, but she shares a close bond with the family. She showcases this bond and her strength when a fun day at the beach goes horribly wrong.

When Paco (Carlos Peralta) and Sofi (Daniela Demesa) swim too far out, Cleo walks into the ocean to save them despite not knowing how to swim. We watch in dread as she faces severe waves to find the kids, the camera always close to her.

This scene also contains a beautiful scene of the family hugging Cleo when she tears up over losing her baby. Seeing them all huddled together in front of a bright white sun captures the heart.

9)         “A Place Called Slaughter Race” from RALPH BREAKS THE INTERNET

Admit it, it’s fun to take pot shots at Disney Tropes. Hell, even Disney gets in on the fun. And boy do they seize on every moment to mock Princess tropes when Vanellope Von Shweetz (voiced by Sarah Silverman) encounters the Disney Princesses. Of course, it helps that Director Rich Moore and Head of Story Jim Reardon creates some of the best episodes of the Simpsons. Though there are many hilarious moments[1], none can hold the candle to Vanellope’s “I Want” song.

As she reflects over a puddle, Vanellope sings about her longing to be in the gritty game “Slaughter Race.” Seeing this little girl perform this lighthearted musical number over a background of riots and dumpster fires is comedy gold. Nearly every element of this number elevates the comedy, from singing shark (with cats and dogs in its mouth) to the creative lyrics (“Am I a baby pigeon spreading wings to soar?/ Is that a metaphor?/Hey, there’s a dollar store”). And the number still finds time to emphasize Vanellope’s fear of hurting Ralph (John. C Reilly).

Kudos to Alan Menken for mocking the trope he (and the late Howard Ashman) introduced to Disney. Just as deserving of Kudos is Silverman, who faced to task of singing in Vanellope’s high pitched voice.

8)         Charlie Loses Her Head from HEREDITARY

With her unusual hobbies, connection to her late grandmother and that clicking sound, you’d assume Annie’s (Toni Collette) daughter Charlie (Milly Shapiro) would be the centre of the whole film.[2] Boy, were we in for a surprise.

Spoilers!

When Charlie suffers a peanut allergy reaction, Peter (Alex Wolfe) races her home. On his drive, he sees a mysterious figure in the middle of the dark road. In his attempt to dodge it, he doesn’t see Charlie hanging out the window. Seeing her head slam right into a pole leaves us as traumatized as Peter is. To see them kill off a main character so early in the film is downright shocking. With this death, predictability goes right out the window and we are left uncertain of what direction this film will go.

7)         Neil Armstrong Soars in the X-15 Rocket Plane in FIRST MAN

It’s funny how the most exciting scene in this film isn’t the moon landing. Don’t get me wrong, the scene’s still breathtaking in its realism, but it’s surprising how thrilling the opening scene.

Damien Chazelle hits the ground running with Neil Armstrong (Ryan Gosling) soaring the atmosphere in an X-15 Rocket Plane. He soars higher and higher into the skies until he flies out of earth’s surface and gets stuck in space

Albeit, you know he will be back on earth in time for the moon landing. And yet, I found myself on the edge of my seat, wondering how he’s going to get back to earth. Most of it is thanks to the visual effects, which contains some of the most believable since 2001: A Space Odyssey. The effects leave CGI in the dust with practical effects that look so real, you’d think Gosling was actually flying into space.

6)         The Ferris Wheel Scene from LOVE, SIMON

High School Movies are home to many unforgettable romantic scenes. There’s Samantha (Molly Ringwald) and Jake (Michael Schoeffling) standing over a birthday cake in Sixteen Candles. There’s Patrick (Heath Ledger) singing to Katarina (Julia Stiles) on the bleachers in 10 Things I hate About You. And who can forget Lloyd Dobler (John Cusack) blaring Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes” outside Diane Court’s (Ione Skye) in Say Anything. Be ready to include the closing scene of Simon (Nick Robinson) waiting on the Ferris wheel for online pen pal Blue from Love, Simon.

After being outed by a student, infuriating his friends for deceiving them in his attempt to stay closeted and abandoned by Blue, Simon makes a plea to meet with Blue face to face on the Ferris Wheel at a carnival. As he rides on the Ferris Wheel, he, fellow classmates and the audience wait in anticipation for Simon’s happy ending.

5)         The Book Heist from AMERICAN ANIMALS

When Spencer Reinhard (Barry Keoghan) and Warren Lipka (Evan Peters) plotted to steal extremely valuable books from the Transylvania University library in Kentucky, they thought they had the perfect heist. With the help of their friends Erick Borsuk (Jared Abrahamson) and Chas Allen (Blake Jenner), they thought they pull off a heist as smooth as Oceans 11.[3]

But reality hits them like a sledge hammer when they try to pull off the heist. Unlike their dreams, Librarian Betty Jean Gooch (Ann Dowd) doesn’t get knocked out with one taser jolt. It also isn’t easy to lug a six-foot book down a flight of stairs. Then there’s the fact the basement has no exit. That’s just a few of many problems they never consider. From then on, we witness them pay a huge price for their hubris and lack of real-world understanding.

Only youths as smart as they are to come up with such a stupid plan.

4)         The Mutant Bear from ANNIHILATION

Biologist Lena (Natalie Portman) and her team find themselves in a quite a bind. After entering the Shimmer, physicist Josie Radek (Tessa Thompson) has barely survived an attack from a mutant alligator and Anthropologist Cassie Sheppard (Tuva Novotny) has been attacked by a bear. Now paramedic Anya Thorensen (Gina Rodriguez) has gone mad and has tied up Lena, Radek and Dr. Ventress (Jennifer Jason Leigh). But when they hear Sheppard’s cries for help, they will soon find Anya is the least of their worries.

Their journey delivers many grotesque, nightmare inducing visuals (especially the slithering intestines.) But the most memorable moment in this film was the image of the helpless crew trapped in a cabin with a mutant bear. Bears are scary enough on their own, but a faceless one is pants spitting meeting. And then you hear it imitate Sheppard’s screams and suddenly you need a new pair of pants.

3)         The Great Snap from AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR

The whole Marvel Cinematic Universe had been leading up to this moment. The fact that nearly every character had a moment to shine in this one movie demonstrates the astounding direction of the Russo Brothers. But despite all the epic fight scenes, everyone agrees that this film’s greatest scene is the heroes moment of defeat.

Despite every effort made to stop in, despite outnumbering Thanos and despite Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olsen) sacrificing Vision (Paul Bettany) to destroy the mind stone, Thanos still got all the infinity stones. And with a single snap, Thanos succeeds in wiping out half the universe’s population. One by one, we watch many of our heroes vanish into dust while others watch in helpless horror. But none are more heartbreaking that the moment when Spider-Man (Tom Holland) falls into Tony Stark’s (Robert Downey Jr.) arms, crying “I don’t want to go.” All because some characters couldn’t make the sacrifice needed

Yes, we knew he was going to succeed in the end.[4] And yes, you know most of the heroes won’t stay gone.[5] And yes, their return will likely involve the surviving heroes sacrificing themselves.[6] But the ending still feels powerful despite this knowledge.

It all concludes with Thanos sitting near a cottage, content in his triumph. If the MCU ended here, it would have been a perfect ending. But I’m still curious to see how this will go.

2)         The Closing Close-Up in CAPERNAUM

The closing image of Zain’s (Zain Al Rafeea) face will haunt you beyond the closing credits. Throughout the film, we’ve seen this kid struggle through hell on the streets of Lebanon, trying to protect his sister from their resentful parents and helping an Ethiopian Migrant Worker take care of her son. But when he’s sent to prison for assaulting a pimp who bought his sister, he decides to sue his parents for the crime of bringing him into this miserable world. Writer/director Nadine Labaki never looks away for a second to the brutality of Zain’s world and how it brings out the worst in Zain.

When the film freezes to the image of Zain smiling for a Passport photo, your heart breaks for him as Khaled Mouzanar’s haunting score plays out.

1)         Tish and Fonny’s Walk Through the Park in IF BEALE STREET COULD TALK

No other opening scene has done a better job of putting its audience under its spell than when loving couple Tish (Kiki Layne) and Alfonzo “Fonny” Hunt (Stephan James) stroll through a park holding hands.

There’s beauty in every element of this scene, from Nicholas Britell’s romantic score to the warm looks in the character’s eyes. But what really sells it is James Laxton’s lush cinematography. The colours pop through the yellows and blues on the couple’s clothes and the green of the grass. You are as in love with this couple as they are for each other.

Then the film cuts to Tish visiting Fonny in prison, this time the yellow is the prison, the blue is Fonny’s jumpsuit and the green is on Tish’ outfit. From then one, we know why their love is worth fighting for.

[1] Mostly at the expense of Ariel (Jodi Benson)

[2] Especially when she appears so prominently in the advertisements.

[3] As indicated by a fantasy sequence.

[4] Since we know this was going to be a two parter.

[5] Especially when there are already planned sequels to Black Panther, Spider-Man and Guardians of the Galaxy. After all the money Marvel’s got from Black Panther? They’re not going to give up that meal ticket.

[6] What with Robert Downey Jr. and Chris Evans retiring their characters.

[peinde]

((yeah

- What is your Full name? Include any maiden names, aliases, or nicknames. 3B| My name is Feferi Peixes-Pyrope. Nicknames include Fef...T)(e Princess of Fas)(ion...and...Feffy-Weffy... - When is your birthday? Do you know where you were born and at what time? June 26t)(! I was )(atc)(ed on Alternia, but I don’t know w)(en. - What is your star sign? Do you know your Chinese Zodiac too? I am a Cancer! I’m year of t)(e Rooster. - What is your earliest memory that you can remember? I don’t like t)(inking about my memories, t)(anks. - Where was your childhood home? Was it more urban or rural? I guess you cod say it was rural? Nobody else lived near me, and t)(e only friend t)(at ever came to visit )(ad to fly over. - How was your childhood in general? Did your parents treat you well? Did you have a lot of friends? My lusus treated me reel well! I didn’t really )(ave lots of friends at all. - How was/is school? What is your favorite and least favorite subjects? What were your grades on average? Sc)(ool sucked. - Did you have a best friend growing up? What was their name? Are you still in touch? Vriska 38)! We’re still best fronds and we always will be. - Were you in any cliques? I guess? I )(ave a circle of friends w)(o are pretty stubborn and won’t leave me alone. - Best childhood memory you can recall? ??? - Worst childhood memory you can recall? All of it? - Name an event in your childhood that has shaped you into the person you are today ...I glubbing died. - What is the dumbest thing you have ever done to impress someone? Were they impressed or was it all for naught? I do dumb stuff to impress people all t)(e tide! T)(ere’s a long list, really. - Did you ever have any sweethearts or lovers? Do you have a boy/girlfriend? I’m married and )(ave t)(ree mates. I also )(ave two lovers. - Are you a virgin?

)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A!

- Do you ever plan on getting married in your life? Do you want kids? I am married, but I will N-EV-ER )(ave c)(ildren. - Would you rather have your own kids or adopt? How many kids would you want? Wtf? I said no kids??? - Do you think you'd be a protective parent or a relaxed parent? I’d be a “reverse my c)(ildren’s aging so t)(ey Benjamin Button t)(e fuck out of existence” kind of parent. - How would you prefer to pass away? Surrounded by loved ones and at peace, or while doing something heroic? Just obliterate me. - Generally, how healthy are you? Do you get sick or injured easily or are you fit? Due to my powers, I’m in perfect )(ealt)(! - Have you ever been badly injured before? W)(o )(asn’t? - What is the worst injury you have ever gotten? What was it and how did it happen? Were you ever close to death? I mean I’ve died before, does t)(at count? - How many times have you been to the hospital/doctor's? Never? - Have you ever had a concussion or brain injury? Have you ever had amnesia? Of course! amnesia’s a coin flip on t)(e fun scale. Sometimes you spend t)(e entire day finding cute fins you leave lying around, Ot)(er times you wind up in t)(e desert wit)( no p)(one service. - What was the worst illness you ever contacted? Do you know what it was? How long were you sick? I’ve never been sick in my life. - Ever had any extended hospital stays? What for? Nope! - Have you ever had to give yourself or someone else emergency first aid? What happened? O)( yes! It was awful. Vriska was bleeding from 3 big wounds! It only took a bit of )(ealing, but t)(e clean-up took FOR-EV-ER! Plus, it got on my s)(oes. T)(ose were SATIN, Vriska!!! - Are you employed? Where do you work and who do you work for? What do you do? I’m a model. - Are you happy with your current job? O)( yes! - Did you have any previous jobs? What were they and what did you do? ... - Most dangerous thing you have ever done? Anyfin I do is dangerous. - Do you consider yourself a more active person or a more relaxed person? Active. Relaxing’s for squares. - What is your dream come true? How about your worst nightmare? My dream come true is Zi-Zi. My worst nig)(tmare is losing Zi-Zi. - What is the biggest and most important goal you have set for yourself? To make my wife )(appy, no matter t)(e cost. - How persistent would you say you are? How much does it take to get you to give up on a task? I’ll never give up. You could kill me, and I’d still come back! - Would you surrender yourself to your enemies or fight to the very end? Fig)(t until t)(e end. --Enemies only kill you anyway. T)(ere’s no point in begging for mercy. - When do you usually do your shopping? What is currently on your shopping list? I s)(op w)(enever I want! I don’t )(ave a specific list, but I always )(ave a general idea of w)(at to get. - Top three things on your wishlist? I don’t )(ave a wis)(list. - Currently, what is something you want but do not need? Most of t)(e t)(ings I own. - Do you like shopping? What is your favorite thing to shop for? Y-ES I DO! I like s)(opping for clot)(es! - What is the most expensive thing you have purchased? Was it worth it? T)(at’s a toug)( one, but it usually is wort)( it. - What would you do if you were suddenly given one billion dollars out of the blue? Give it back. W)(y t)(e fuck would I need someone else’s money w)(en I )(ave my own? - What would you describe your style of clothing as? Simple, conservative, minimalist. - Do you have any hobbies? Name all of them if you can. Cooking, baking and gardening! - Do you like and appreciate art? What is your favorite piece of artwork? Art is cool, but it’s just not my t)(ing. I do )(ave an original Dali in my guest wing t)(oug)(. - Do you like music? What is your favorite style of music? )(eavy metal is pretty good, but I also really like dance and pop music! - Have you ever seen any musicals? What is your favorite? I t)(ink Roxy took me to sea Cats once. I wasn’t paying attention. - What are your top three favorite animals? What would you say your "Patronus" or "Spirit Animal" is? All of t)(e ones in t)(e sea. - What are your top three favorite colors? Blus)(, lilac, baby blue - What is your favorite season? Do you prefer hotter or colder weather? Do you like snow at all? Summer, )(ot, and s)(ell no. - What kind of flavors do you prefer: Sweet, Sour, Bitter, Spicy, Dry, or Umami (savory meat taste)? Umami, or moby spicy. - Can you cook at all? Yup! - What is your favorite dish? Can you prepare it? Do you have the recipe handy? )(and-blowtorc)(-seared sliced blowfis)(. I can prepare it, and I’ve t)(e recipe memorized. - What is your favorite fruit and vegetable? I really like lettuce. - What is your favorite dessert? What is your favorite type of candy/treat? I don’t like sweet t)(ings. - What is the best thing you have ever had the opportunity to eat? What is the worst? I once managed to eat an entire )(otdog. It was plain and bunless, but very eye-opening. T)(e worst fin I’ve ever eaten was a c)(ocolate bar. - Do you like to drink tea or coffee? Any favorite flavors? Tea! I prefer green, but I’m pretty partial to orange pekoe and pink tea. - Describe your sense of humor. Spongebob Squarepants and dicks. - What is one thing you are justly proud of? My career. I’ve worked )(ard on it. - Do you have any religious beliefs? If not, have you ever been to a church service? ---Ew, no. - What would you say is the worst thing someone has done to you? What is the meanest thing someone has ever said to you? ... - What is the worst thing you have done to someone? What is the meanest thing you have said to anyone? ... - Share the latest entry in your diary/journal. I don’t )(ave one. - What is the most precious thing you own? Is it valuable at all? Somefin given to me by my wife. It’s more valuable t)(an anyone could ever know. - Talk about someone you know. It can be someone you either like or dislike. My wife! S)(e’s beautiful, smart, articulate, cunning, considerate, compassionate, funny, talented and t)(e most perfect person you could ever meet! S)(e’s got t)(e most beautiful body, all squis)(y and curvy wit)( lovely folds. A smile t)(at bot)( terrifies and delig)(ts. ---Eyes t)(at burn wit)( joie de vivre and dept)(. A devilis)( cackle t)(at rings t)(roug)( my ears like music. S)(e’s got t)(e sensibility and wisdom of a monk, wit)( t)(e revenge streak of an assassin gone rogue. S)(e’s stuck wit)( me t)(roug)( all my bulls)(it, and is t)(e only reason I’m alive. I love )(er so very muc)(. - FREE QUESTION ???

[jeroldlockettus]

Freakonomics Radio Live: “We Thought of a Way to Manipulate Your Perception of Time.”

A.J. Jacobs, Manoush Zomorodi, and Stephen Dubner play Tell Me Something I Don’t Know. (Photo: Lucy Sutton)

We learn how to be less impatient, how to tell fake news from real, and the simple trick that nurses used to make better predictions than doctors. Journalist Manoush Zomorodi co-hosts; our real-time fact-checker is the author and humorist A.J. Jacobs.

Listen and subscribe to our podcast at Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or elsewhere. Below is an edited transcript of the episode. 

*      *      *

This is a bonus episode of Freakonomics Radio Live. It’s the non-fiction game show we call Tell Me Something I Don’t Know. This was recently recorded in New York. If you’d like to attend a future show or be on a future show, visit freakonomics.com/live. We’ll be back in New York on March 8th and 9th, at City Winery; and in May, we’re coming to California: in San Francisco on May 16, at the Nourse Theater, in partnership with KQED; and in Los Angeles on May 18th, at the Ace Hotel Theater, in partnership with KCRW. And now, on with our show.

Stephen DUBNER: Good evening, this is Freakonomics Radio Live! Tonight we’re at Joe’s Pub in New York City and joining me as co-host is Manoush Zomorodi. Manoush is the host and creator of the podcasts ZigZag and Note To Self. She’s the author of the book Bored and Brilliant: How Spacing Out Can Unlock Your Most Productive and Creative Self. Manoush, we know you grew up in Princeton, N.J., the child of not one but two psychiatrists.

Manoush ZOMORODI: Indeed. Everybody went like this: “Aww.”

DUBNER: Well, afterwards they’ll come to you with their problems, presumably. We know that, before getting into the cutting edge world of podcasting, that you reported for legacy media companies including Thomson Reuters and the BBC. So tell us something we don’t yet know about you, Manoush.

ZOMORODI: My big break was I was a breaking news producer for the BBC and I was sent with a correspondent, a real grownup reporter person to report from Mount Etna, which was erupting. The volcano is going off, that was pretty cool. We’re on TV. And then he’s like, “Right, see you later. I’m going back to Rome for my child’s birthday party.” And I was like, “All right, bye.” I couldn’t get a flight out until the next day.

DUBNER: Was that a Roman accent?

ZOMORODI: That was Brian Barron actually. So I went to sleep in my lovely hotel. So they wake me up at four in the morning, and they are like, “The volcano is erupting again.” And I was like, “Yeah, but Brian left.” And they were like, “You, go to the volcano and report.” So I was on the morning news reporting from an erupting volcano and never looked back. 2001, been a reporter ever since.

DUBNER: Congratulations. We are so excited that there was danger happening and Manoush got to be there —

ZOMORODI: Have you ever seen lava flow, really? It goes like this.

DUBNER: Just so you know, this is radio. I’d like to describe what Manoush was doing. She was holding up her hand and moving it very slowly. Did it change your life in any way other than career-wise?

ZOMORODI: Yeah, because I thought of my own capabilities completely differently. So that changed everything.

DUBNER: Okay, Manoush, very, very happy to have you here tonight.

ZOMORODI: Thank you.

DUBNER: Thank you for coming to play Tell Me Something I Don’t Know with us. Here’s how it works: Guests will come onstage to tell us some interesting fact, or idea, or story, maybe a historical wrinkle we don’t know. You and I can then ask them anything we want. And at the end of the show our live audience will pick a winner. They will vote on three simple criteria: No. 1, did the guest tell us something we truly did not know? No. 2, was it worth knowing? And No. 3, was it demonstrably true? And to help with that demonstrably-true part, would you please welcome our real-time fact-checker, the author of four New York Times best-sellers and counting, including The Year of Living Biblically, A.J. Jacobs.

A.J. JACOBS: Thank you Stephen.

DUBNER: So A.J., it’s been a while since we did one of these shows together. I assume you’ve just been sitting at home waiting for us to call. Have you been working on anything at all?

JACOBS: Well that and I was able to squeeze in— I have a new book. It’s called Thanks A Thousand, and the idea is I went around the world and thanked a thousand people who had even the smallest role in making my morning cup of coffee possible. So I thanked the farmer who grew the coffee beans, and the trucker, and the logo designer, and the man who made the zarf.

DUBNER: What’s a zarf?

ZOMORODI: Bless you.

JACOBS: Well, thank you. A zarf is, I learned, the official name for that little cardboard sleeve that goes around a coffee cup.

ZOMORODI: No way. Come on, that’s not the word for it. Zarf?

JACOBS: Zarf. Yes. And, just so you know, it has a long and glorious history. There were zarfs in ancient China made of gold and tortoise shell so—

ZOMORODI: Wait, A.J. wins. I’m sorry. That fact was amazing. That’s so cool.

DUBNER: Do we know where the word comes— Is it the sound the first person made when they grabbed a cup of hot coffee without a zarf?

JACOBS: That is that is a good question. If you give me 30 seconds, I can give you an answer.

DUBNER: We’ll get back to it, by the end of the show you can tell us the etymology of zarf. A.J., delighted that you are joining us as well. It’s time now to play Tell Me Something I Don’t Know. Would you please welcome our first guest, Julie Arslanoglu. Julie, welcome. I understand you are a research scientist at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I’m guessing that’s pretty fascinating work and very promising for our purposes tonight. So, I’m ready, as are Manoush Zomorodi and A.J. Jacobs. What do you know that’s worth knowing that you think we don’t know?

Julie ARSLANOGLU: I have a simple question: What do antibodies have to do with art and art conservation?

DUBNER: Antibodies being the protein in blood that attacks the bad guys?

ARSLANOGLU: It’s the protein that your body produces to recognize an other. So every living organism has these.

ZOMORODI: Is it something that you apply?

ARSLANOGLU: We apply antibodies to art. Yes.

ZOMORODI: Okay.

DUBNER: Oh, you apply antibodies. You’re not looking for antibodies in the art.

ARSLANOGLU: No we’re not.

DUBNER: Let’s ask about you. Is your background purely art, and/or art conservation, or do you have some kind of bio-chem background?

ARSLANOGLU: I have an organic chemistry graduate degree.

DUBNER: Oh.

ZOMORODI: So are you potentially part of the preservations staff at the Met?

ARSLANOGLU: I’m a research scientist within the conservation department.

DUBNER: Does the Met have a lot of you, or are you flying solo?

ARSLANOGLU: No, there’s 12 of us.

DUBNER: Really?

ZOMORODI: There’s 12 of you?

ARSLANOGLU: Yeah.

ZOMORODI: Okay.

DUBNER: Where do the antibodies come from that you apply?

ARSLANOGLU: We purchase them from commercial sources.

DUBNER: What do they belong to? Where do they come from?

ARSLANOGLU: Well. The way an antibody is created is, you take something that you want to study, some protein from an organism. It can even be a small molecule. You inject it into an animal that’s called the host. The host creates antibodies against the ‘other.’ You harvest those, and then you inject those into a second animal and create antibodies to that first antibody and use that as your reporting system. So the whole idea is that when you have one thing that you want to recognize, you create an antibody to that.

DUBNER: That is super fascinating. So this is some version of antibody dating or— I don’t mean like smooching, dating. I mean like carbon dating, dating.

ARSLANOGLU: It could be timed theoretically, but it’s really complex, because you have a couple of problems. One is that normally antibodies are made against what are called native proteins. So these are the proteins that come off freshly from an organism. So let’s talk about collagen. If you extract collagen from let’s say bovine skin, you can create an antibody for collagen, and you can create an antibody specifically for bovine skin. But these are going to be in their native state, meaning it’s the way the protein is extracted from the tissue or the organism.

My issue is that the proteins that are extracted, are extracted to be prepared to use for artwork. So if it’s going to be a glue or if it’s going to be a binder for a paint, meaning a paint is usually ground-up minerals and you have some sort of adhesive that holds the whole thing together. So, if you prepare this material, you are going to heat it to extract it. You’re going to do something to it to prepare it for an artistic way of using it. Then you’re going to mix it with these inorganic mineral pigments which have cations that react with proteins.

DUBNER: Cat-ions?

ARSLANOGLU: Cations—

DUBNER: Ions from cats?

ARSLANOGLU: Cations means positive charged.

DUBNER: Okay.

ARSLANOGLU: And then you’re going to let this stuff dry. So a protein normally lives in an aqueous environment. Now you are going to remove the water and then you’re going to let it age for 500 years, a thousand years. So stuff happens to those proteins. Art is made up of materials, materials continue to react. The way they react is really complex because we don’t have a really clear knowledge of the conditions that art was exposed to. And art continues to be treated over time. So if it enters a museum, for example, it might be consolidated with additional animal products, like sturgeon glue, or animal glue. It might have a synthetic polymer added to it to create a more cohesive surface. So you have all these things mixed together, they continue to react.

DUBNER: So you’re doing this kind of proactive-ish, historical-ish, detective work for what purpose? For restoration, for proving the provenance or history of something? What?

ARSLANOGLU: So, at the most basic level what we’re trying to identify is: what materials are used to create the artwork. And why this is important is a few things. One is, you have a sort of a lexicon of how art was created. So for example, egg tempera being used in the Italian Renaissance. Well, was every painting in the Italian Renaissance made with egg tempera, or did they use other protein based binders? So you can inform that lexicon, you can create a timeline that informs the art historians about what the materials actually were being used.

But more than that, when you look at a piece of artwork, it’s a combination of all the chemistry that’s going on. So when you mix a binder like a protein with a mineral pigment, as the light passes through it, you’re going to get a certain amount of saturation of colour. You can get some— An amount of gloss, and it all depends on that combination of which pigment in which binder. And if you add an oil to it, it changes everything. So looking at an artwork, understanding what you see, why does it look the way it does right now? And did it look that way originally, or has it changed? So that’s one of the most basic reasons for doing that.

ZOMORODI: Oh my God. If you had been around in high school, I would have actually liked biochemistry. I was the artsy kid who was like, “I don’t understand.” And I got a C- in chemistry you guys, it was my worst grade. But if you had —

DUBNER: You got no sympathy for that, I think what that means is that most of them got worse than C-.

ZOMORODI: Maybe. I found it really difficult, but also because there was no applicable usage. Like what you just described just lit up my brain and explained to me why I like certain paintings and others, and that’s amazing! That’s so cool.

ARSLANOGLU: There is a really strong connection between art and science. So the way it looks, why it changes, the mechanics of the film. As it changes and gets older, it actually increases in stiffness and you get cracking. And you can explain all this with chemistry and engineering. This is a really strong connection with STEM and STEAM, there are universities that really pull us into their chemistry classes to teach folks who aren’t quite so keen on chemistry.

DUBNER: Are there any applications of this method or something similar beyond artwork? Is it used in archaeology, etc., etc.?

ARSLANOGLU: Absolutely. One of the earliest uses of antibodies was actually paleontology. They used it to identify the collagen in dinosaur bones.

DUBNER: This was how long ago?

ARSLANOGLU: This is like late 70’s, early 80’s.

ZOMORODI: Is this process used in order to, not only understand the ingredients that have been used to make the art, but potentially to preserve it in some way? Or clean it, I guess.

ARSLANOGLU: Well, we’re trying to use a combination of the antibodies and something called mass spectrometry to look at the molecular structure of the protein. So what we found out is that when you mix different protein binders — like collagen, or whole egg, or milk products — casein — with different pigments, you actually will change the conformation of the protein. These combinations change the conformation of the protein. So you’re getting some sort of structural change in the protein, and we’re trying to look to see how that affects the longevity of the paint.

DUBNER: A.J. Jacobs, Julie Arslanoglu from the Metropolitan Museum of Art has been telling us about antibodies and the use thereof in restoration and learning more about art for many applications. I’m sure you know an awful lot about this.

JACOBS: Of course. Even before I came. Yeah. Well, it all checks out. Julie gets an A+ for accuracy, not a C+. No offense.

ZOMORODI: C-.

JACOBS: Cheap shot. But actually it led me to this list of the strangest ingredients contained in paint. There was Indian yellow, apologies to those eating right now, but according to legend this was made from cow urine. And not just regular cow urine. This was cows who were fed only mango leaves which makes for a gorgeous pee, apparently. And Scheele’s Green, which was also lovely, but poisonous. It was made from arsenic, and according to legend it’s what killed Napoleon Bonaparte. He had green walls in his room. So there you go. Cow urine and arsenic. \That’s art.

DUBNER: Well A.J., thank you and Julie thanks so much for coming to play Tell Me Something I Don’t Know. Would you please welcome our next guest David Reitter. So, David Reitter it says here you’re a professor of Information Sciences and Technology at Penn State and that your research has been particularly focused on what makes us intelligent — those of us who may or may not be — and why we make mistakes. So that sounds great turf for us. David, tell us something we don’t know please.

David REITTER: So I live in this college town, and I guess it’s a bit divided, which you see when you drive around there. There’s the people that lived there all their lives, and these townies have all the time in the world. And then there’s people like me who are a little impatient, and we’d like to drive our fast cars to where we need to go, right? How can you make me a little more patient?

DUBNER: We could start by not calling them townies, because I don’t think they like that. But that’s just a hunch. You’re saying that you and your uber-educated class of people, you got a lot to do. You’re rushing to do research and to give aid to floundering students like Manoush who are getting C-‘s.

ZOMORODI: So are you doing research into ways to get people to not be like you?

REITTER: Yeah. I think there’s a lot of work that’s been done in behavioral economics that has found out that we’re all a little impatient, right? So I’ll give you an example: Do you like chocolate?

ZOMORODI: I love chocolate. Can you please just tell me what you’re going to — I’m sorry, just kidding. That was my demonstrating my impatience.

REITTER: I’ll run a little experiment to you, okay? Would you like two pieces of chocolate or one?

ZOMORODI: Of course two.

REITTER: All right. Now I’ll attach a little bit of time to that. Would you like two pieces of chocolate in a week from now—

ZOMORODI: Oh are you doing the marshmallow test on me? It’s that what you are doing on me?

REITTER: That’s exactly right.

ZOMORODI: I’m a tech reporter, so I know about this stuff, let me tell you, alright? We can’t wait for anything any more, because we have instant gratification.

REITTER: So in a way we all know that we’re impatient. Right? The question is, can you do something about it?

DUBNER: So I have to say, even though the way you presented your dilemma you sounded a little — I don’t want to say arrogant, but like, “I have a problem with the slow people.” Right? That’s what you said. But it’s interesting that now when you’re searching for a solution, your solution is not to make the slow people faster, you do want to ameliorate your impatience.

ZOMORODI: That’s a good point.

DUBNER: You are identifying that. So you want to know how you could become more patient while driving. Have you tried listening to a fine podcast?

ZOMORODI: I think that’s a really good idea. Or smoking weed. Have you ever been behind someone who is like, “Whoa, we’re going so fast, dude.” And it’s like 20 miles an hour. That was also high school, could explain the C-. Just going there.

REITTER: All of these would work.

ZOMORODI: Okay. But you’re trying to look at it more of a cognitive behavioral, sort of talk yourself into being more patient thing? Because that’s what you do?

REITTER: It’s not talk therapy.

DUBNER: Is it a technological intervention of some sort?

REITTER: It is.

DUBNER: Oh, I once learned that the best way to make people on a train feel that the trip is shorter is just by putting in really good fast WiFi. So if you do that in your car then you can watch Netflix while driving.

ZOMORODI: Okay. What if it’s autonomous vehicles and therefore no one’s driving.

REITTER: How boring.

ZOMORODI: I mean the vehicles are all just driving themselves and they’re all at the same speed.

DUBNER: Then you can smoke dope and watch Netflix and it’s not a problem.

ZOMORODI: Exactly, amazing.

DUBNER: Why don’t you tell us what you did? And I’m curious to know, is this an experiment that you did in the field or in a lab? Because we care about those distinctions.

REITTER: Neither. We run experiments on thousands of people that are somewhere in the world. So our research is not based on American undergraduate psychology students but people from all over the planet of different ages that like to do our experiments.

ZOMORODI: Who live in towns where there are half the people who are really snooty and think that they’re really busy and have to go somewhere really fast and the rest of the people are like, “F— you, we just are trying to get to the grocery store.” Like that?

REITTER: Exactly. We thought of a way to manipulate your perception of time by giving you something that you might already know. A countdown. Like the countdown you see on old time movies before the movie actually starts. Or a progress bar when something is really really slow on a computer. So we show people a countdown and then we give people a test of their impatience. Now we manipulate the countdown. We were interested in what happens when that countdown is fast versus when that count down is really slow. The countdowns always take the same amount of time, 15 seconds. But I count down “15, 14, 13, 12,” or I can countdown like this, “5, 4, 3—” Are you impatient yet?

DUBNER: Yes, very. So you’re saying that if the numbers are going faster, even if the duration of time is identical, we experience it faster.

REITTER: That is correct. We’re happier with the whole game. But most importantly we make better decisions during the impatience test that follows.

DUBNER: What is the decision-making tests that you use in this experiment?

REITTER: Well so, this is kind of fun. My collaborator Moojan Ghafurian came up with this beautiful experiment, where we bring in Cookie Monster. Now Cookie Monster is probably the most impatient guy we know.

ZOMORODI: Now you have my attention.

REITTER: And your job is to host your friend, the Cookie Monster. And you’ve got a jar of cookies sitting in your living room and Cookie Monster. Now the question is, for you, how often do you check on Cookie Monster to make sure he hasn’t started eating cookies yet, or you catch him the right moment when he starts eating cookies. So if you do it right, you only check once, right after he starts eating cookies. And that’s really really hard. And we found that the people that saw the slow countdown, checked earlier and more often. The people that were more impatient made worse decisions. And that was in the time that followed watching the countdown, not during the countdown.

DUBNER: So let me just see if I understand. If you were to make a prescription would you say that, for instance, traffic lights should have attached to them a countdown clock from, whatever it is, 30, going fast? Is that the idea?

REITTER: They should be going fast, and they should even be speeding up. We found that—.

DUBNER: But you’re talking about literally mounting a countdown clock where it’s visible at a traffic light or an intersection or whatnot, is that the idea?

REITTER: And for pedestrians that’s already being done.

DUBNER: Well we have that in New York, fairly recently. Is your research connected in any way to that? Our walk and don’t walk signs they used to be the hand.

ZOMORODI: Right.

DUBNER: Now you get a countdown clock and I think it starts with like 30 and goes really fast. And I see old people running. Which to me seems potentially counterproductive. I don’t know. But do you know anything about that and whether it’s working, safer, etc?

REITTER: My guess it will be safer. I don’t think it’s meant to manage people’s impatience in that sense. It manages people’s timing. So they don’t block the intersection, anything like that.

DUBNER: Is impatience necessarily, however, a trait to be lessened or dampened? Because I would consider myself a fairly impatient person, which I know has its downsides in some cases, but I think there are also upsides. You quit things faster when they’re not working out, which that may not suit everyone, but there are those who argue that that can be a good thing. And I’m curious whether impatience is actually the thing that you’re fighting or was that just a viable mechanism to try to figure out how to manipulate people’s perception of the events?

REITTER: When Etna is breaking out, do you really want to be patient?

DUBNER: He played the volcano card.

REITTER: We’re truly interested in how we can change people’s perception of time and how we can affect people’s decision making. And you can use these countdowns in both directions. You can make somebody more patient or you can make them more impatient.

DUBNER: Oh, that could be handy.

ZOMORODI: So, when you’re doing this research, you couched it in the fact that this is happening in your town. But are there better use-case scenarios were you are trying to fix that problem in particular? Or were there other problems that you were actually trying to sort out?

REITTER: So our experiment that we designed is meant to be very much like many decisions that we take in real life. And these are decisions such as how often do I inspect a crumbling bridge? Or when do I decide to renovate it? Because every week I don’t renovate the bridge, I get more use out of it. Right? Or similarly, a police precinct deciding how often to patrol an area. Or simply, again, you’re driving and you have to make quick decisions on how to gather information about the things around you. Has that cyclist moved, or is he still in my blind spot?

So making all of these decisions is really something that’s very, very commonplace. Timing decisions are very, very important to managing risk, managing our safety. So of course this is applicable in the context of driving as well. And if you can’t put up countdowns on your traffic lights, perhaps you could listen to some fast music before you get in the car, you’d listen to some slow music while you’re going. Or a slow podcast.

DUBNER: There are no slow podcasts, only slow podcast listeners. A.J. Jacobs, David Reitter has been telling us about how to essentially manipulate away our impatience, which is fascinating. What more can you tell us on that?

JACOBS: Well, I’ll just get right to it. It does check out. Actually I was losing the train of thought a little, so I—

DUBNER: Smoked some dope.

JACOBS: No, my kids are in the audience. But I did research what is the longest traffic light in America, according to The New York Times. It’s in New Jersey, an impressive five minutes and 28 seconds.

ZOMORODI: Where? Where in New Jersey?

JACOBS: West Milford, New Jersey.

DUBNER: Is anyone surprised the longest traffic light is in New Jersey? Let’s be honest. But wait a minute, that can’t be right.

JACOBS: That’s what it says. This is the paper of record. You can listen to the Gettysburg Address almost three times in five minutes. So that’s a good use of your time.

ZOMORODI: So what I want to do is, I want to apply what you’re saying to Twitter. Instead of people reflexively retweeting or responding with outrage, what if they were like, “Countdown, here we go. I need 15 seconds before I can respond.” Do you think that would work to make people stop tweeting stupid s— basically?

JACOBS: I love that.

REITTER: I love that.

DUBNER: Hey David Reitter, thank you so much for coming to play Tell Me Something I Don’t Know. And would you please welcome our next guest, Jeff Nosanov. Jeff is a consultant for NASA. He formerly worked at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Lab, the coolest spot in the NASA universe. He’s also got a law degree. Yeah, no clapping for that. But check this out. He’s also got a very rare master’s degree in space and telecommunications law.

Jeff NOSANOV: That’s right.

DUBNER: Which is odd and nifty.

NOSANOV: It is. It is. It’s been a strange journey.

DUBNER: So Jeff, welcome to our stage. Thank you so much for coming. What do you have for us tonight?

NOSANOV: Well my question to you is what is the most useful mission that NASA has done?

DUBNER: Well I would say, if the moon landing had not been faked, that would have been it.

NOSANOV: You got us, you got us.

ZOMORODI: Okay. Are there humans involved in this mission?

NOSANOV: No. Great way to narrow it down. So there’s a human side and the robotic side. So I’m asking about the robotic side.

DUBNER: The most useful mission?

NOSANOV: Yes.

DUBNER: It’s going to be something about gathering information with a big telescope.

NOSANOV: Yes.

DUBNER: Is it a flyby? Is it — you fly by Mars?

NOSANOV: No it’s not. It’s an Earth orbit.

ZOMORODI: So it’s not the cute Mars lander? That guy?

NOSANOV: No. No.

DUBNER: Does it have to do with the location of space minerals?

NOSANOV: In a sense.

ZOMORODI: Gases?

NOSANOV: Sort of.

DUBNER: Minerals and gases. Antibodies?

NOSANOV: No. No. That would be — if that had ever happened that would be the answer, but we’re not there yet.

ZOMORODI: Is the mission ongoing?

NOSANOV: Sort of.

JACOBS: This is going to be very hard to fact-check.

DUBNER: Have you ever said either yes or no in your life?

NOSANOV: Yes, yes I have.

DUBNER: Why don’t you tell us?

NOSANOV: Sure. So, the mission that I think is the most important and most useful is the Kepler space telescope. Do you have a penny up here by any chance? A penny in your pocket?

DUBNER: I don’t have a penny in my pocket.

NOSANOV: Okay, so hold up your finger and look at— Look at the ceiling kind of, in the shape of a penny. If you make a telescope that looks through that—

DUBNER: If I had a penny I couldn’t see the ceiling, so why did you want us to use a penny?

NOSANOV: If you imagine a cone that goes from your eye through that penny, and out in space, and you look through that telescope you will find thousands and thousands of planets that are similar in a lot of ways to the ones we have here in the solar system. And that’s just in a penny-sized slice or section of the sky. And that’s not even looking that far. That’s just staying within our own galaxy.

So, since we were all kids the number of planets has gone from 9 to 8 to about 3,000. And to me that I think is the most important and useful mission because it truly places into an unimaginable perspective everything else that NASA does and that, really, humans do. And every other field of science including minerals and gases—

DUBNER: Now, I believe Kepler was recently retired, but it was a massive success, wasn’t it? It was up there something like three times as long as originally planned?

NOSANOV: This is a really very much accomplished mission, which is showing us that the galaxy at least, and the universe by extension, is full of planets, more than there are stars. And that to me, the philosophical conclusion there, is that it’s almost impossible that the conditions that make Earth unique are unique.

DUBNER: So that is fascinating. It resonates and I think it’s an interesting answer, that Kepler is the most useful mission. Do you have a larger point about NASA and usefulness though? Because it’s a big point of contention.

NOSANOV: Well what initially drew me to the podcast was the idea of hidden economies, and the idea that for every mission that you read about in the paper or that you see photos from, there’s hundreds of other missions that are designed, evaluated, and rejected.

DUBNER: What is the actual rejection ratio, would you say?

NOSANOV: Oh, a hundred to one. If not more.

DUBNER: Wow.

NOSANOV: And that’s because it’s that much harder to actually build and fly something to another planet.

DUBNER: Are the rejections primarily for a lack of technical or engineering ability?

NOSANOV: That’s where the hidden economies come in. There’s really four factors that really matter. There’s risk, cost, science return, and technology development. And that has changed over time, the weighting of those has changed over time. So in Apollo, everything was off the charts but they did it anyway. Now there’s a larger focus on minimizing risk and maximizing science return, which makes sense. But if you tell them you’re going to discover life somewhere and your technology needs another 10 years, you’re going to get rejected for multiple reasons. Science — we’re not ready to make that conclusion yet — too risky, and too much technology work.

DUBNER: When you said the four dimensions on which a proposal is assessed, and you talked about risk. What is meant in that context?

NOSANOV: Well, there’s a number of components. There’s actual technical risk, like can we look for life somewhere? Does the scientific evidence support a look for life, a search for life? And I believe that there is sort of a larger philosophical debate that goes around in the top floor of NASA headquarters about do we really want to support a mission that, if it’s successful, we have to declare for all time that we have discovered life somewhere else?

DUBNER: Why would that be a burden?

NOSANOV: Announcing you’ve discovered life somewhere else will permanently change human history. It will throw, in my opinion, countless ideologies into internal conflict. I hope I see it, but I can see that it will be hard for someone to sign off on.

DUBNER: Overall what share of the collective missions would you say are driven by scientific concerns, and not political or economic concerns?

NOSANOV: Well, formally the answer is about 10 percent, which is the Science Mission Directorate of NASA that sends out these robotic spacecraft. If a human spaceflight expert were here, they would probably point out the tremendous advancements that come sending humans into space, and those are all true. But the human side of NASA has from the beginning been associated with political gamesmanship. And that doesn’t take away anything from it, but the pure science, the “What are the rocks on Mars made of,” that’s only about 10 percent.

ZOMORODI: So but does that change now that it may not be up to you to decide? Because Elon Musk might do it for you?

NOSANOV: Elon Musk is actually doing a great service for those of us who try to get missions off the ground because he’s building the delivery truck. And we haven’t had a really good delivery truck at a cost that’s sustainable for a while.

DUBNER: If you talk about risk being a barrier, is working with a private firm like SpaceX, is that essentially a way of kind of offshoring some of the risk for NASA?

NOSANOV: So, and this is this is worth noting in its own right, so space launch is no longer really considered a risk, it’s a cost. You don’t really have to say, “Well they might blow up.” And I think it’s worth noting, as a species we’ve reached a point where we can say, “Yeah putting stuff into space is no longer the hard part.” So it’s not really a risk. It can help with the cost though. The SpaceX rockets are still a little— They have a slightly shorter history of success than some others, but we certainly propose to use them whenever we can because they save us money on other stuff

DUBNER: So I hate to ask you to reduce an extraordinarily complex and fascinating set of ideas into essentially a headline, but I am curious to know what’s your problem? What is the thing that you want to happen? Do you want NASA to take more of a different kind of risk?

NOSANOV: So I have a naive answer and a realistic one. The naive one is that I would like people to march on Washington demanding more funding for space science missions. More realistically I would like —

DUBNER: Did you hear those deafening cheers from people that were ready to go march?

NOSANOV: Thank you. You can send them this recording. More realistically I think I would like to see the re-emergence of a scientifically, confident, literate, encouraging society across the board.

ZOMORODI: Wait which one is naive, did you say?

DUBNER: Can I ask you one last thing before we turn it over to A.J.? The Kepler observatory I believe was built by Ball Aerospace, which is a subsidy is a subsidiary of Ball Corporation, which until 1993 I believe used to make Ball mason jars. So I’m curious if that’s the root of the NASA problem, somehow.

NOSANOV: Ball did build part of it. And that’s part of what we did to reduce cost.

DUBNER: They built the jams and jellies for the mission?

NOSANOV: I think they built the main spacecraft part and the telescope came from somewhere else. So NASA doesn’t build all of those spacecraft anymore. When possible, we use contractors and vendors.

DUBNER: A.J. Jacobs, Jeff Nosanov, a NASA consultant, has been telling us a lot of interesting things about what he feels are the slightly wrong headed philosophies behind NASA. Keeping in mind he has a little bit of a horse in the race as a consultant who wants to get his projects going. How much of what he said was totally false, A.J.?

JACOBS: About 40 percent.

ZOMORODI: What?

JACOBS: No. In my extensive research it did check out. And I’m a big fan of the Kepler telescope. It found over a thousand planets, and I actually looked up what the planets were called. They’ve got some wonderful names. There’s Kepler 560-B and Kepler 438-B. There’s a crowd favorite of Kepler 841-B.

NOSANOV: Yeah.

JACOBS: So you guys need some creativity, I think.

NOSANOV: Once we know a little bit more about them, other than there’s one there, it will be easier to name them. I think.

JACOBS: There are a lot of Roman gods and goddess left.

NOSANOV: Yeah that’s true.

JACOBS: And I also looked up the original Kepler, that it’s named for. He’s Johannes Kepler, 17th century astronomer, and it turns out, appropriately enough, he had money problems. So NASA, he had money problems. And he had to supplement his astronomy work with astrology. He was the astrologer to the Holy Roman Emperor. Which I think is just super sad because it’s like Stephen Hawking reading tarot cards. I mean it’s the great scientist of the period.

NOSANOV: So I did not know that.

DUBNER: Jeff, thank you so much for playing Tell Me Something I Don’t Know.

*      *      *

DUBNER: Before we get back to the game we have got some FREAK-quently asked questions written just for you, Manoush. Are you ready for it?

ZOMORODI: Okay. Yeah.

DUBNER: Manoush we know that your latest podcast, ZigZag, spends a lot of time talking about the blockchain. So for those who still don’t get it, can you explain the blockchain in 30 seconds or less, please?

ZOMORODI: 30 seconds. Okay. Think of it as Google Docs, right? If you have a document in Google Docs, if you change it, everyone sees the change right? And when you go back in, if somebody else changed it, you see it as well. Think of that, but with no Google being in charge. Pretty cool, right?

DUBNER: That was phenomenal, and it was 17 seconds.

ZOMORODI: I could keep— Do you want me to keep going?

DUBNER: Give me 13 seconds more on it.

ZOMORODI: Okay, great. So also, blockchain, it really truly is like a necklace of computers across the world all linked together. When the change gets made, it goes across the entire necklace. You can have private ones, like a bank can have its own blockchain, or you can have more public ones, like Ethereum, which anyone can join the Ethereum blockchain, as it were. And you can layer— Keep going?

DUBNER: You’re way over your 13 seconds. Well, let me ask you one more question on blockchain. Most people who know a little bit about blockchain are alternately kind of enamored and petrified, especially when it’s attached to a currency, which tends to be very volatile. Tell us your one very-favorite totally non-currency potential application of blockchain.

ZOMORODI: Saving journalism. That’s the weirdo experiment that I’ve been part of. Anybody heard of Civil here? [Silence] Great. Okay, so Civil is the blockchain startup that my former executive producer at WNYC, we quit our jobs to join this weirdo startup and we are documenting the entire process of trying to get our heads around what blockchain is, how it could potentially save journalism. The idea with Civil is that there would be a network of trusted, verified, little media publications and people would be able to sort of pay for them as they go, or tip, or vote if somebody is putting nonsense on there, fake news could get voted off by staking their tokens. Spoiler, the token sale failed this week. All documented on our podcast, ZigZag.

DUBNER: So that sounds like a great project. Let me ask you this, since you have an interesting relationship with technology. Sometimes very pro, sometimes much less pro. What is your personal strategy for creating and managing computer passwords?

ZOMORODI: Okay, I’ve never told anyone this.

DUBNER: It’s just me here.

ZOMORODI: I write messages to the tech platforms about how I really feel about them. You’re supposed to be like random strings of words is a better way to write a password? So I will write like, “F.U. Facebook” and then like —

DUBNER: So your whole string of passwords it’s just a litany of your feelings towards the tech companies that you engage with?

ZOMORODI: Yes, correct. Or if I like the tech company, it’s a message to myself reminding me of why I like it.

DUBNER: Give me a for instance. In other words, just tell us your Amazon password.

ZOMORODI: I’ll give you another one. One is like a running app and it was like words of encouragement to myself.

DUBNER: Oh that’s so cute.

ZOMORODI: Kind of sweet right? Anyway I also use a password manager, which you all should do so that that you’re not keeping your passwords in places that are not—

DUBNER: Does it run on blockchain?

ZOMORODI: No, it does not run on blockchain.

DUBNER: And finally, Manoush Zomorodi, you’ve worked in many media forms, radio, TV, books. Why in your view is podcasting superior to all of them?

ZOMORODI: Because of the listeners, right? No, I’m serious. It’s the truth. I’ve been a journalist for a long time now and only when I started doing podcasts would people write me the most personal incredible emails. Hug me when I met them at events. It’s a relationship that I have never had before with people I don’t know based on sharing of stories and information.

DUBNER: And you’re comfortable with this level of forced intimacy?

ZOMORODI: Have you listened to my shows, Stephen? I’m pretty comfortable with a lot of things. Yes.

DUBNER: Ladies and gentlemen, Manoush Zomorodi. Alrighty then. Let’s get back to our game. Would you please welcome our next guest Scott Highhouse. Hi Scott, it says here that you are a professor of psychology at Bowling Green State University in Ohio. And I understand you have a riddle for us of some sort. Yes?

Scott HIGHHOUSE: There was a study in 1959 that showed that psychiatric nurses in a mental hospital were just as good at predicting patient readmission as were the expert psychiatrists. So what were the nurses doing?

ZOMORODI: Listening to the patients? Oh, I feel bad. My mom and dad are going to listen to this. Were they actually — because there’s new technology out there that is analyzing voice and can predict when someone is going to have a psychotic break. Were they actually listening to the way that they spoke?

HIGHHOUSE: No.

DUBNER: You just loved to stomp on her enthusiasm, didn’t you? Why don’t you tell us because I have a feeling that the story behind the answer is interesting.

HIGHHOUSE: They took each patient’s folder and placed it on a kitchen scale and the heavier folders predicted readmission more than the lighter folders.

DUBNER: So is this what people talk about when they talk about Occam’s Razor? The simplest theory is more likely to be correct? Or is it something different than that?

HIGHHOUSE: I don’t disagree with that. I think the general principle is that expert intuition is not very good when it comes to making predictions, particularly about people’s behaviors and their performance.

ZOMORODI: So are you also saying that this could not be replicated in this day and age due to digital files?

HIGHHOUSE: Right. You’d have to be more creative. I think maybe the length of the file or something.

ZOMORODI: Gigabytes.

DUBNER: So let me ask you this. You’re a psychology researcher.

HIGHHOUSE: Yeah.

DUBNER: Is this story that you just told us related particularly to the work you do? Or does this expert intuition idea travel across domains?

HIGHHOUSE: Yes, my area is industrial organizational psychology and I’m interested specifically in hiring and interviewing. We know that intuition is a derailer. We knew way back that admissions officers for universities who knew the G.P.A. and the S.A.T. score, screwed things up when they added their holistic judgment about the students. And we find the same thing with job interviews. Expert interviewers, experienced interviewers in H.R. are actually worse than a layperson who uses structured questions that are job related and behavioral in nature.

DUBNER: So, can you give an example of a good interview question and a poor one that’s more fishing for intuition?

HIGHHOUSE: Yes. A traditional interview question would be, “Why do you want to work here?” “Tell me about yourself.”

DUBNER: And those are boring sounding, but you’re saying they work.

HIGHHOUSE: No, those are more intuitive. “What is that drives you,” and things like that. A more structured question would be job related and behavioral. So, “Tell me about a time when you encountered conflict at work and what did you do about it.” Or, “What would you do in a situation where someone tried to undermine you at work?” So those very behavioral questions, are very specific and they ask about what would you do or what did you do.

DUBNER: Of all the domains in which all of us engage all the time — so workplace, dating and mating, an example like you gave in the medical field where you’re trying to assess someone’s prospects or assessing anyone’s prospects — where do you find intuition is most heavily relied on, and therefore most damaging?

HIGHHOUSE: Oh, goodness. I do know that — maybe it doesn’t answer your question directly — but intuition is good in some areas like wine tasting and art appreciation.

DUBNER: But when you say it’s good—

HIGHHOUSE: Well those are studies based on an agreement with experts. So—

DUBNER: But the experts you just told us are full of —

HIGHHOUSE: My area is prediction, remember. We are trying to predict future performance on the job. So in areas where they look at agreement with experts on aesthetic judgments, intuition seems to work well, and the more you think about, “Is this de Kooning a good painting?” the farther away you get from expert judgment.

DUBNER: I find really interesting the idea that in a job interview, but I’m guessing in any context, if we asked for specific behavioral response, whether it’s theoretical or real from history, I mean that makes a lot of sense. A.J., Scott’s telling us that intuition is to be leery of, at least in some cases and that experts tend to have a lot of it and make some bad decisions. What more can you tell us about that?

JACOBS: Well, yeah, both my intuition and the data support that intuition is terrible. It’s a terrible predictor of future. I actually kind of got sidetracked because I’m a fan of the old fashioned ways of predicting the future. And maybe you can tell me how successful they are. There’s Bontroscopy, which is predicting the future by the sound of thunder; Haruspex, which is predicting the future from the livers of sacrificed sheep; and Myomancy, predicting the future by the movement of rats and mice.

DUBNER: Do you use a lot of sheep livers at Bowling Green?

HIGHHOUSE: No, but there are areas of employee-hiring where they look at handwriting or, many years ago, bumps on the head. And none of those were very useful.

DUBNER: But if you got your bump in a very dramatic way, it could tell you something about the person.

JACOBS: And, just so you know, Zarf, the coffee cup sleeve, and I know you’ve been waiting — from the Arabic, Zarf for vessel.

ZOMORODI: Thank you.

DUBNER: A.J. Jacobs as always going way above and beyond the call duty. A.J. thank you and Scott Highhouse, thank you so much for playing. It’s time for our final guest of the evening. So would you please welcome her, Rada Mihalcea. Rada is the director of the Artificial Intelligence Lab at the University of Michigan. Rada, the floor is yours.

MIHALCEA: I have a timely topic. How can you increase your odds of finding out if a news article is true or fake?

ZOMORODI: Does it involve A.J.?

JACOBS: I am available.

DUBNER: I wonder if what we just heard from Scott Highhouse should weigh into it in some way, which is distrusting intuition. Does that have anything to do with it or no?

MIHALCEA: To some extent.

DUBNER: Cagey answer. Let’s say, more than just discounting intuition, seeking out firm behavioral or structural elements like punctuation or typography.

MIHALCEA: Getting closer.

ZOMORODI: Okay, so the second season of ZigZag is trust and information, is our theme. And we just did something with the Knight Foundation looking at how misinformation and fake news essentially spread on Twitter before the 2016 election and post. And actually the crazy surprising finding was that all that fake information, the millions of tweets went back to just a few dozen sites. So it was far more centralized than people thought before.

The other fact that was really interesting was that 95 to 97 percent of the information coming from those news sites was true. It was a very small amount — it was that 3 to 5 percent that was nonsense that really got pumped out across Twitter. So, counterintuitively one might say is the genesis with somewhat reputable sites or sites that are well established?

MIHALCEA: And I think that would add to the challenge in fact, because you cannot really rely on the source.

DUBNER: You work in language and I.T. So your answer has something to do with technology computing. Yes?

MIHALCEA: That’s true.

DUBNER: Okay so are you in possession of a pretty good method or algorithm to determine fake news? Is that what you’re saying? You have in your pocket something useful?

MIHALCEA: Right. So your best bet would be to bring along a computer. It turns out that computers are better than people at detecting deception. What we found with our algorithms for instance in courtrooms, we can spot witnesses who are lying about 75 percent of the time. Which is quite a bit better than what people would do at the same task. So people do a little bit better than random at 55 percent. In fake news people are better. They get fake news about 70 percent of the time.

DUBNER: And computers do what?

MIHALCEA: And computers were 76. So people are still behind the computers at detecting fake news.

DUBNER: Okay so what are the computers actually doing though. Is it a text analysis, is it finding inconsistency in mood or language? What’s happening?

MIHALCEA: So computers are basically learning from data. They are learning from collections of lies and truths what are the attributes of those. So basically we program the system to look for certain features or attributes like sequences of words, or relations between words or the semantic type of the word.

DUBNER: Can you give me an example of a phrase or a sentence or even a word that would indicate fakeness?

MIHALCEA: So one of the aspects of language that computers would pick on is the use of personal pronouns. Liars would tend to use less often first person pronouns like I, me, myself, we, and instead would use more often he, she, they. Psychologists would explain that by saying that liars would want to detach themselves from the lie. Another one which I think it’s somehow counterintuitive is the use of words that reflect certainty. Liars will tend to more often use words such as always, absolutely, or using exaggeration.

ZOMORODI: The best!

MIHALCEA: The best, there we go. Unlike the truth tellers. Truth tellers would more often use hedging, like “maybe, perhaps, probably,” something like that.

DUBNER: Interesting. So, cynical question, by publicly discussing this research both in general and specifically, aren’t you just making it easier for the purveyors of fake news to get better?

MIHALCEA: Not necessarily. I think the clues that computers tend to pick on are not intuitive for humans. So if I were to ask you how many times I said “I,” you probably have no idea, because you don’t look for those little words that actually make a difference in deception detection. So it is still hard. Even if you want to prevent others or a computer to detect deception, it’s actually hard.

ZOMORODI: Are you using deep learning I’m assuming with processing all this information?

MIHALCEA: We do use deep learning in other projects but not in this particular one.

ZOMORODI: What are you using?

MIHALCEA: We are using machine learning. The reason being that deep learning works very well when it has a lot of data. So you need a lot of lies, a lot of truths.

ZOMORODI: We know some places.

DUBNER: Can I just ask: how surprised should we be that this is the kind of task that computers are better at? I mean isn’t the list of things that humans are better at computers than getting really short? I don’t mean to degrade the value of this kind of identification, but I guess it’s just not so surprising that a computer, an algorithm would be better than an intuitive, emotional, impatient human being, because we know that we’re bad at those things right?

MIHALCEA: Well, yes and no. I think there are certain tasks where we are still better. Like for instance, writing. If you were to write a novel, people are still much better. So there is still a fair number of applications or ways in which we are much better.

ZOMORODI: So, I think the question is, could you use the technology to parse Brett Kavanaugh’s testimony?

MIHALCEA: We could and we are planning to. So we are working on—

ZOMORODI: Oh! You heard it here first! And Dr. Ford, of course. I mean, right?

MIHALCEA: Of course, the whole dialogue.

DUBNER: A.J. Jacobs, Rada Mihalcea from the University of Michigan is telling us that computers are getting pretty good at detecting deception. What more to add?

JACOBS: It is looking good. These are early days for this technology. But I mean we desperately need it. And I looked into a little of the history of truth detection devices. Because the polygraph tests that measure your pulse, and your skin, they are not that reliable. The American Psychological Association says to be very skeptical. Though, in their defense, polygraphs do have a very cool backstory. Because one of the inventors of the polygraph was William Marston, the man who created Wonder Woman, the superhero. And Wonder Woman’s lasso of truth, that is 100 percent scientific and reliable. So that’s the secret.

DUBNER: A.J., thank you. And Rada Mihalcea. Thank you so much for playing. Can we give one more hand to all our guests tonight? It is time now for our live audience to pick a winner. So who’s it going to be?

Julie Arslanoglu, with using antibodies to answer art questions?

David Reitter, with how to manipulate away our impatience?

Jeff Nosanov, with rethinking risk in NASA and space?

Scott Highhouse, with how intuition is often wrong?

Or Rada Mihalcea, with detecting deception with computers?

DUBNER: Okay, the audience vote is in. Once again thanks so much to all our guests presenters. And our grand-prize winner tonight, you could chalk this up to a little recency bias, but I don’t think so, for telling us about detecting deception with computers, Rada Mihalcea, congratulations. And Rada, to commemorate your victory we’d like to present you with this Certificate of Impressive Knowledge. It reads, in full, “I, Stephen Dubner, in consultation with Manoush Zomorodi and A.J. Jacobs, do hereby vow that Rada Mihalcea, told us something we did not know for which we are eternally grateful.” That’s our show for tonight. I hope we told you something you didn’t know. Huge thanks to Manoush and A.J., to our guests, and thanks especially to you for coming to play “Tell Me Something …

AUDIENCE: I Don’t Know!”

Tell Me Something I Don’t Know and Freakonomics Radio are produced by Stitcher and Dubner Productions. This episode was produced by Alison Craiglow, Harry Huggins, Zack Lapinski, Morgan Levey, Emma Morgenstern, Dan Dzula, and David Herman, who also composed our theme music. The Freakonomics Radio staff also includes Greg Rippin and Alvin Melathe. Thanks to our good friends at Qualtrics, whose online survey software is so helpful in putting on this show, and to Joe’s Pub at the Public Theater for hosting us.

The post Freakonomics Radio Live: “We Thought of a Way to Manipulate Your Perception of Time.” appeared first on Freakonomics.

from Dental Care Tips http://freakonomics.com/podcast/tmsidk-zomorodi-2018/

[hellogreenergrass]

Signy Island - Week Eight

29th January

Im out on the veranda enjoying some brief sunshine. Seeing those lenticulated clouds again. Another storm coming? I got out the lab today, just a few Km of hiking around to put out ion- exchange membranes for some soil chemistry. They were all disparately spaced at the edges of my main field site, which with my ankle in this state wasn’t helpful. But it did OK. I went slow, Iain helped.

Im watching seals. Some furries are twirling about in the water like they do. They slowly turn and spin in the sea in a gently exhalant way. I wonder if it is cleaning? There is a very young elephant seal eyeing up a much much larger one from behind a rock. It’s very cute. Big black orb eyes peering out from above the water line. The bigger one is a beautiful colour, a fawny-silver into deep grey with a velveteen texture. I’d like to hug it if it weren’t liable to crush me…

31st January

Another lab day. I swear I feel physically worse after a day at a computer or microscope than I ever have after a day in the hills. Worse still, I had the realisation yesterday that better science will come from creating even more work for myself in the lab, dissecting up midge egg sacs. They are as tiny as you think, and the task is laborious and mind numbing, but will provide good data. On the plus side, it dosent require I think too much so I can just plough through audio books: I’ve listened to Bill Bryson reading “Short History of Everything” today. All of it. I’ve had him with me for a few days now and find his voice just lovely. First I went to the US to be amongst some very missed trees for “A Walk in the Woods”, and then to Oz for some heat in “From a Sunburned Country”. Its nice to be whisked away somewhere whilst staring down a microscope for hours, nay days on end. Even when you are in Antarctica! But then, I do have the perennial affliction of always looking for greener grass…

Kristian and I had a disagreement about his new placement of the sofa back home. A trifling matter really that makes perfect sense, but I took against the idea of coming home to a house changed. And besides, there are asthetic considerations! He mentioned something about banishing throw cushions as well. I thought I could trust him in my absence not to abandon the soft furnishings to logic…

1st February

An Antarctic birthday! Quite something. And the sun is shining too, properly too. No-coat weather! I woke up to a gift from Kristian that had been stowed away by Iain, and my own personal gift to myself that had been stowed away at the back of my mouth, waiting for that special moment to come and show itself. My final remaining wisdom tooth has broken ground, and bestowed me with toothache on my 34th birthday. Evidence of one year older, another wiser perhaps. My present from K was about as good a present as I could want. A party pack: Balloons, bunting, a make your own birthday badge, a very sweet letter and also another hidden video message on my laptop. It’s perfect! We hung the decorations and embellished the balloons with pictures and messages. It was lovely. So much colour everywhere! Iain and Stacey had written a big happy birthday sign for me and made me a card, and then later after a special birthday dinner of spinach and ricotta cannelloni (to please the vegetarian in me that’s currently having to be on sabbatical), I got birthday cake too! With a massive emergency use candle in it to blow out! I have been spoilt. Im so pleased I can barely form sentences.

We spent the evening together playing several increasingly hysterical rounds of The Resistance and I cracked open the last of my St Austell brews, Korev. Went down a treat and helped ease the toothache, which meant I could eat more cake :-D

2nd Feb

Hid inside all day today. Post-cake lull. The wind arrived last night. All of it. And has shown no signs of relenting, in fact has invited its friends rain and sleet along for the day too. I think they must have been mad that they missed the party yesterday and have banished Sun for bothering to show up and make me happy.

Managed to get through 2 plots worth of soil samples over 5 hours of work this afternoon, which is ridiculous. I have dozens and dozens of plots. Im very glad I have a permit to take the soil off the island so I can finish this back in the UK. David Attenborough, “Life on Air” as company today.

On lates tonight so I took advantage of people in bed by reading news online. This is what the world appears to be talking about: MP’s voted in favour of Brexit, unsurprisingly seeing as that’s how the country also voted; Trump is still a colossal nightmare – but he is doing what he said he would do, which was be a colossal nightmare; Beyonce is having twins and announced it in her typical understated way: with her as a semi naked art installation.

New word: “Perminion” – a permanent helper, such as I need.

4th Feb

Search and rescue training today. Matt was the casualty up on Observation Bluff, with a ‘head injury and possible broken leg’. Megumu and Alex co-ordinated everything from base whilst Iain and Stacey went out in the first search for him, Aqlima and I following later with stretchers and splints. Was a good run up the hill! Vacuum mattress was a bitch to get underneath our casualty, and I fear we worsened any potential neck injury as we rolled him back and forth across rocks. I was at his head the whole time checking vitals and keeping spirits up and that, and trying to remember what it was that I learnt on that first aid course beyond how to inject oranges and that entonox is good fun. We carried him just a few meters before deciding that he was too heavy and needed to make a miraculous recovery so he could walk back down himself. Well, it was only training afterall!

I was on cook the rest of the day, did a Chinese take-out kind of meal. Rowed later on, struggling to hit my PB of 910 strokes, but not failing. If I want to reach that goal of 1000 in the next 6 weeks I need to significantly up my game!