#HAN MET HIM FOR 12 WHOLE SECONDS AND DID NOT ENJOY IT

[stealingpotatoes]

i'll never get over Leia naming her son Ben like imagine naming a child after your absentee uncle's fake ID

[twoidiotwriters1]

Home- Chapter 12 (Kylo Ren/ Ben Solo x F!Oc)

A/N:   I have tried to upload this chapter, since yesterday, but Tumblr did not cooperate, but now it does. come on!

Also, this is the end of The Last Jedi... enjoy

Words: 2,685

Masterlist:

Chapter 11 / Chapter 13

He has every right in the galaxy, this shouldn't affect me. We’re no longer children so that kiss didn’t matter. We’re adults...

But why did he treat me like this? First he wants to know about my past, then he kisses me and when I’m at the highest level of crisis, I realize that… in reality, that kiss didn’t matter to him, our moment did not change him.

No one can change, can they?

I'm a fool, I shouldn't have thought... No, wait, this was not my fault, he has also played with my mind! He kissed me, no one forced him, maybe he didn't care, but why did he do it? It makes no sense. I'm sick of this whole show, I can't do it anymore.

Among all that we have been through when we were children, adolescents, his change to the dark side, when I ran away… so many years running away from him, from his memory, from the Jedi, from the force, all this. For what? To be a prisoner on the wrong side, being threatened by a grotesque giant who proclaims himself master and lord of everything.

I'm sick of acting like a teenager, I'm sick of myself playing with my thoughts and feelings, I don't know what situation I might be in tomorrow, and all I've done is run away and play lovebirds with Kylo, while everyone else in the resistance is risking their lives to stop it, I think it's time.

I sit on the floor and cross my legs, close my eyes and let go, remembering all the past training.

The force unites with me, but this time is different, I no longer see just light and darkness, I hear the beating of hearts, the noises, the screams, the effort, the fear… pain.

Enough of games.

What are you doing?

My heart flutters uncontrollably as I recognize the voice. His voice.

What do you want? I answer.

Your barriers have fallen.

And what will you do about it?

What are you planning?

Finish this.

What do you mean?

I can't do it anymore, Ben. And I'm sure that you also-

I open my eyes to feel something’s changed.

The door to my room opens and Kylo enters. I get up and face him.

"Your barriers have also fallen,” I say in a whisper, we looked at each other in silence for a few seconds. I get a little closer to him. "I can feel the conflict in you.”

"You can't do anything to change me.”

"Maybe not, that's on you, Ben."

"Stop calling me that! No one understands it, everyone expects something more from me, but no- "

“You’re the one who doesn't understand! You had everything in your favor, you had a future! But you ignored all the warnings, you ignored me and your best idea was to get rid of me!” My breaths are shaky. "Stop throwing tantrums all the time and for once in your life do something. Stop listening to everyone else, listen to yourself, Ben, listen to what I told you, what the fuck do you want?”

"I know what you saw yesterday, I know what you felt," I look away.

"I don't think that matters now. You have every right to do what you want with whoever you want, but I must tell you something,” I am brave. "I won’t take part of your child games, I will not be part of your army or Snoke's, I don’t want to be part of any of this. A lot of people are trying to come up with a plan to destroy you and… and I'm not going to stop them.”

He abruptly looks away and talks.

“It's not a good time,” He says, I look at him confused. I see to where he’s looking at, but I don’t understand what’s going on. His expression changes and turns to me.

"It's Rey,” when I think he's going to leave, Kylo does the opposite, He sits on my bed and talks to her.

I sit next to him and listen only to his part.

"If this is a lie, it’s a good way to cut a serious topic.”

“It’s not a lie," He says, glaring at me. "She is with me," He replies to Rey, then I can see how his cheeks flush and he gets nervous. "It's not what it seems,” They keep talking, “Nothing happened with... with that woman."

I look at him surprised, but I shake my head, I don’t want distractions. Damn hormones.

Both continue talking and I try to connect what’s happening with the little information it gives me.

“You're not alone," He replies. His heart beats faster and I feel his body tense.

"Ben?" I touch his shoulder. He stirs in my bed and the connection seems to be cut, his gaze returning to me.

"I wish everything was easier. I wish I could tell you everything that's going on, but I can't do it, even I don't know. The only thing I’m sure of is that I’ve failed you and there’s nothing I can do to remedy it. You’re right to be angry, since I saw you... the night I thought I lost you is the only thing I could see every night. I may regret many things, but what I can never, truly forgive myself for, is what I did.”

I don’t know what to tell him.

"I tried to forget you- The woman… nothing happened.”

"You don't need to give me an explanation–“

"I need to, I must do it,” He gets up and paces around the room. "I don't know what you're doing to me, but just as, or maybe worse than when we were younger and I can't stop thinking about you and... I'm going crazy."

“You're not the only one…” I say in a whisper.

"What are we supposed to do now?"

"I don’t know.”

After a few seconds, he comes closer and I get up. My body is tired and I’m sure that his is too. His hand touches my cheek and I get closer to him, resting my head on his chest. Then we just hug. Since I came here, it’s the first time that I feel safe.

That night we both slept in the same bed, the first night without any nightmares.

——————————————————————

When we wake up, Ben shakes my shoulder lightly and tells me about Rey's possible arrival.

"I need you to stay here.”

"It's the only thing I've done since day one,” I roll my eyes as I get up.

“Kiara…"

"You know I'll be leaving as soon as I can and you won't be able to stop me,” He sighs and gives me the briefest of smiles.

“Rey’s arrival will cause chaos.”

"I'm used to it."

"Kiara, please–”

“No."

Ben growls, but he knows he can't do anything.

"Come with me” I say. He looks at me in surprise.

"Yesterday you just wanted to yell at me, now you want to take me with you?”

"I always want to yell at you, sometimes strangle you but... what you think of as the chaos, I see it as an opportunity.”

"You can't come with me, I must take her with Snoke.”

"Then go, but as soon as you can... come back to me,” I craddle his face in my hands. “You're not alone, Ben. You have a home and you know it, it is your duty to return.”

He lean further and kisses my forehead, takes my hand, puts something in it and then closes it.

"Stay safe," He then leaves the room. I open my hand and feel a terrible lump in my throat when I see the necklace Han gave me on my birthday.

I can’t wait anymore

I look for my lightsaber in Ben's room. And I prepare for the inevitable.

——————————————————————

I walk all over the ship with my saber in hand, ready to get rid of any droid or person, but it seems that all the troopers have been called somewhere else, I'm heading there too.

Upon arrival, there are several armed groups, I get closer and I hide behind some boxes. Without attracting attention I listen to what they say. Apparently Phasma and Hux are in front of two people in first order uniforms… Hold on…

"You're wrong,” I know that wonderful voice!

Finn and... another girl are forced to kneel.

“Take them out with a blaster is too good for them. Let them hurt,” Phasma orders.

Damn, now I understand what the other soldiers say about her, she’s not the boss for nothing. The only good thing about my confinement was not running into her. Although, it wouldn't be a bad idea to meet us now, would it?

I come out of my hiding place little by little and see how two troopers come out with weapons ready to obey Phasma.

"We don't have to get aggressive, guys,” Their focus is on me now.

"The prisoner,” says Phasma.

“I'm Kiara, pleasure,” I feel the eyes of Finn and the girl on me as well.

"Catch her,” Two troopers approach and with no effort, I turn on my laser and get rid of them.

"I wanted to chat, my dear. But it’s not going to be possible, free them and maybe I’ll have mercy.”

I don't wait for an answer and the two soldiers who trapped Finn and the girl met by my saber. Both get up and the other soldiers get into attack position.

"Was this your plan?" Finn whispers.

I grimace.

"Not the best, but at least I helped?”

“We're dead,” the girl complains and I look at her offended.

Before anyone could do something, a big bang explodes behind us. All I remember is my body crashing against the ground. It doesn't take long for my eyes to open and see everything on fire, some ships being destroyed.

With difficulty I get up and feel a great déja vu. I turn to my left and see the girl trying to drag Finn's body. I reach out to help her, but he manages to wake up.

"Finn!"

The boy gets up.

“There's a ship back there, we have to go!”

I stop.

Go, I could get out of here.

"Kiara?" Finn asks me worried. "We must run away…”

I start to run, but we didn't last long since Phasma and a group of Stormtroopers survived.

The fight begins and the shooting of the blasters do too. I light my saber again and use force as an ally to try to defend myself and help my friends.

"Finn!" The girl screams and I see how Phasma corners the boy. I try to go to him, but a group of soldiers stop me.

Phasma manages to hurt the boy and knocks him unconscious. I don't waste time and just when the soldier tries to kill Finn, I stop her with my saber, now the fight is between her and me.

"We wouldn’t have been friends," I say between gasps. I dodge her attacks and I can tell she is good, but she’s also weak.

I hurt her with my saber in the leg and she falls, I raise my gun, but before I can do anything. I feel a huge pain in my chest, so much that it destabilizes me and I recoil a little, I can hardly breathe.

Ben! I don't get a response. A great mistake, a great distraction.

Suddenly a sharp pain shakes my body. Phasma took advantage of the distraction and used her weapon to cut my arm.

I scream in pain and fall to the ground as I hold myself.

What happened next is a little fuzzy, I see Finn, then he reaches out and grabs my saber, pulls my left arm and helps me up, my weight on him.

"Come on, Kiara, don't leave me now," He whispers in my ear as we walk.

The girl along with BB-8 manage to help us and we all go to a ship to get out of there.

On the ship, Finn lays me down and the girl helps him cover my no-longer-right hand, but before we leave, I close my eyes and focus on the connection.

Ben

I wait a few seconds.

Sorry

You must come

I’m so sorry, my star

——————————————————————

Finn and Rose's ship arrives at the rebel base, being a ship of the first order, everyone begins to shoot, but the crew raise their hands and little little by little they come out to make it known that they’re not the bad guys.

“Finn! Rose! You’re not dead!” Poe yells as soon as he sees them. “Where's my droid?”

BB-8 runs towards its owner while Finn and Rose help with great difficulty  to Kiara, who’s about to fall unconscious.

Leia and Poe reach out to help. Kiara, seeing the woman can't help but shed pent-up tears.

"Sorry, I- I tried, He…” Says the girl between sobs.

"Shhh, honey, it's okay, I understand."

Poe takes Kiara in his arms and carries her away to the doctors while the others move from one side to the other with the new teams to continue fighting.

The fight is not over.

The doctors managed to stop the bleeding and were able to keep Kiara awake, but her body remains weak. She needs to go to a base where they have better teams.

"I'll be fine, you must help others…” She says with difficulty as she gets up. The doctors are not sure, but they obey.

Kiara stays in her place and tries to contact Ben, but all her efforts are in vain. Ben has put up his barriers again and her weakness doesn’t allow her to break through them.

"I see you followed my style…”

The girl looks to her left in disbelief.

“Luke…” The man points to her hand with a small smile. Kiara rolls her eyes and laughs a little. "It suits me better."

"I bet,” When Luke is in front of her, he touches her cheek. "I'm sorry for all the damage you've been through, Kiara.”

"I guess that’s what happens when you listen to a blond man impressed by your abbilities as a thief.” We both laughed.

"I come to confront him, Kiara. I can't save him,” The girl knows what he's talking about and looks away for a few seconds.

"I tried to help him, Luke."

"You did a better job than me,” He says with a half smile. "I don't know what happened, but I feel like I should apologize.”

“Luke," She tries to say something, but the man continues.

"I'm sorry I failed you and Ben, but now I'm here to try to fix things,” He sighs. "I must also confess…” She stares at him, expectant. "Of all my students, you will always be my favorite," Both laugh again.

The last thing Luke Skywalker gives to his former apprentice, his friend, is a kiss on her forehead, then he heads towards the main headquarters, where Leia is.

The confrontation continues between Kylo Ren and the resistance, only now, Luke Skywalker is the distraction. The problem now is to get out of the cave.

Poe finds the solution by being guided by the cave-dwelling creatures. Everyone follows him, Finn helps Kiara until they reach where the exit would be, but it’s covered by stacked rocks.

"I don't like this at all," says Kiara looking at Leia.

"There must be another way out," says Poe desperately, but the movement of the rocks interrupts him.

On the other side Rey is in charge of using force to leave the exit clear. Everyone leaves and Finn hugs his friend while Poe picks up Kiara again and helps her move on.

"Someone has leveled up in the 'lift rocks' lesson, right?" Kiara scoffs when she walks past Rey, who just laughs. Everyone follows the path up to the Milenium Falcon.

Kiara's body is connected to various machines and medical help. At this moment, finally, she closes her eyes and rests after a very hectic day.

Taglist:

 @oopsiedoopsie23

@blackheartedspider

@fandomshit6000

@thewinterschildren178​

[onwardintolight]

Han x Leia, ESB, Trip to Bespin, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff

Summary: ESB from Leia's POV. A journey from despair to hope, a blossoming, an opening to vulnerability and love.

Warnings: Deals with some heavy themes, incl. working through trauma, depression, self-harm, attempted sexual assault. Each chapter will be individually warned.

Note: I’m currently in the process of reposting the first nine chapters here in full, since when I first wrote this fic, I only shared links to the chapters on AO3 and FFN. I will try to post at least weekly. In the meantime, if you’d prefer to binge-read it, the entire fic is posted in full on AO3 and FFN.

Part: Masterlist | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | Epilogue

Soundtrack

~~~

Author’s note 11/2019: Major spoilers for Solo: A Star Wars Story

Warnings for chapter: none

~~~

It was a relief to relax again; to simply enjoy the feel of each other’s lips and hands on each other for a little while, there in the circuitry bay. Leia tried hard to quiet her worries, and for a moment, she almost succeeded.

That moment was soon interrupted, however. Chewie stuck his head in the door, braying something about it being time for food, with an addendum about how it would be great if they pursued their mating rituals somewhere outside of his sight and hearing.

«Besides,» he noted, «I’ve prepared something special.»

Duly chastised, they made their way to the dejarik table. Emotionally, Leia felt as though she’d just flown through some particularly rough in-air turbulence, and she wasn’t that hungry—at least, not until she caught the scent of whatever was in the bowl Chewie was carrying in. He deposited it on the table in front of them with a flourish.

“What’s this?” she asked.

Instead of answering, he disappeared again to the corner of the hold, quickly returning with a large plate of ration sticks and reconstituted Bilbringi pies.

«A feast,» he announced. «I made a sauce to go with the rations. It will make us feel like our feet are rooted to the ground again.» He passed out bowls and utensils, and the three of them eagerly dug in.

Leia dipped a spoon into her sauce-covered Bilbringi pie and lifted it for a taste. Immediately, she closed her eyes, savoring the rich, spicy flavor. “How in the galaxy did you manage this, Chewie?” she asked.

Han cut in between bites. “Oh, he always keeps a bunch of spices and stuff around, just in case.”

«One never knows when they’ll be stuck onboard for three weeks,» explained Chewie. «It’s good to—» here he made a series of sounds Leia wasn’t familiar with, and she looked at Han inquisitively.

“He means it’s nice to have something special to break up the routine.”

“I’ll say,” she replied, taking another bite. It wasn’t just the weeks on the ship; it was the endless cold rations on Hoth, too. When had she last had a proper meal? Ord Mantell, maybe? “Honestly, Chewie,” she said, “this is as good as any royal feast I can remember.”

After their stomachs were suitably stuffed—Leia had only found two Wookiee hairs in her bowl, and the last bite was every bit as mouthwateringly delicious as the first—Han turned on some music and conjured up a sabacc deck and a handful of Corellian ales. Soon the hold rang with laughter. Leia had generally been too caught up in her duties to play the game much, but Han and Chewie, while fiercely competitive towards each other, were rather generous teachers. Soon she was holding her own—which for now, she surmised, meant not losing every hand. She suspected Han was going easy on them.

After a long time the music quieted, the album having played through twice already.

“And… Pure Sabacc.” Han layed out his hand triumphantly. Chewie bellowed, waving his arms in frustration. Leia laid out her cards in defeat—she’d had a good hand this round, but at twenty-one points, it wasn’t nearly enough. She briefly thanked the old gods that they weren’t playing for a sabacc pot; otherwise she might have just lost… a lot.

“You’re watching a master at work,” Han crowed, tipping back his second Corellian ale, and Leia and Chewie both rolled their eyes.

She took a small sip of her own drink. “Where did you learn to play sabacc, Han?”

“Oh… around.” He waved dismissively.

«Han was already a master of it when we met, and he was barely more than a cub in human years, then.»

“So… you learned it on Corellia?”

Han shrugged. “We may have been scrumrats, but we were still kids. It was one of the few ways we had fun.”

They sat in silence for a moment.

“Do you ever miss your home planet?” Leia asked.

“No,” Han said firmly. There was no hesitation in his voice.

Leia nodded. She leaned forward, resting her chin in her hand, and thought for a moment. She needed to tread this conversation carefully—considering the lightheartedness of the evening and the alcohol Han had consumed, she suspected he might be a little more open than usual to talking, but she still didn’t want to push too hard. “When you finally escaped… how did it feel? Did you feel free, or was it bittersweet?”

Han and Chewie exchanged a brief look. Then Han leaned back in the seat, raking his fingers through his hair. “Uh,” he muttered. “It’s… complicated.”

She nodded, giving him space to go on if he wanted to. After another mouthful of his ale, he did.

“So, uh, there was this girl.”

Leia stiffened a little, but she just as quickly relaxed again. Of course there was a girl, she told herself. There’d been multiple girls; she was already well aware of that. Don’t be silly; listen. She didn’t want to miss out on this part of his story just because of some childish sort of jealousy.

“We tried to escape together,” he continued. “But… I made it; she didn’t. They grabbed her right as we went through the gate at the spaceport, and I couldn’t do a damn thing.” He shrugged. “I spent the next three years in the Imperial Navy planning out how I was gonna buy my own ship and go back to Corellia. To find her. So yeah, as much as I hated Corellia, you wouldn’t’ve believed it back then.”

“Did you do it? Did you go back and find her?”

He took another sip. “Didn’t have to. Turns out, she was sold right after I left—to Crimson Dawn.”

Leia’s breath caught in her throat.

“She was owned by one of the syndicate’s head honchos,” Han continued, “and somehow she managed to work her way up to being his lieutenant. We ran into each other on my first job after the Empire. Chewie n’ I were with a crew doing a job for Crimson Dawn, and she came with us to Kessel.” He face lit up in a grin. “The trip where I made the run—”

“In less than twelve parsecs. We know,” Leia said, rolling her eyes. “So what happened to her? Did she ever get free?”

“She… no, she didn’t. At least I don’t think so. I, uh, thought, at the end, that we had won, and that she was gonna come away with me and Chewie. She killed the guy who owned her. But… I guess she had other ideas.”

Leia frowned, feeling the glimmer of deep pain in Han’s past. “She took his place,” she said, the realization coming as she said the words. She wondered if this girl was still alive… and if she was still at the head of the notorious cartel.

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “Eh, it was a long time ago. I was a kid, naïve. She’d always been like that; a survivor, a climber. In it for herself, no matter what—or who—was in her way.” His words, even after all these years, sounded bitter.

Leia raised an eyebrow. “Sounds like somebody I once thought I knew.”

Han ignored her comment. “It wouldn’t’ve worked out.”

«Hmm. It wouldn’t have,» Chewie agreed. «But Han was sad for a long time.»

“Thanks, fuzzball,” he retorted. “It’s not like nobody ever broke your heart.”

Chewie chuckled. «There was a young Wookiee before Malla,» he explained, turning to Leia. «I was also sad for a long time when we ended the hunt.» He paused. «These things are hard. But when you meet the right person, the sadness of the past seems very small next to the happiness you’ve found.»

With that, Chewbacca stretched and rose from the dejarik table. «I’m going to leave you two to continue your mating ritual. Just stay away from the number three hold.»

Leia blushed. “Chewie, it’s not—we’re not—”

The Wookiee only laughed, eyes twinkling. «Goodnight, cubs.»

The main hold was quiet for a little while in Chewie’s absence. Then, Han scooted closer to Leia on the bench, putting an arm around her and shifting his ale to his other hand. He massaged her shoulder, looking thoughtful.

“You know,” he said, “I’ve had a lot of disappointments. A lot of heartache.” He took another sip. “Everyone I’ve ever cared for has either abandoned or betrayed me, the whole lot of ‘em.” He made a scornful sound. “Usually both. And I never… I never took it easy.” He glanced at her. “I’ve had to learn to face the galaxy on my own. Well, not completely—I’ve got Chewie, but you know what I mean. I’ve had to learn not to trust people, not to commit to anything.” He swallowed, looking into her eyes. “I… Leia… I want that to be different, with you.”

Leia opened her mouth to respond, then she closed it again. She wasn’t sure what to say. His words had stirred something deep within her, and her mind was still working through what all it meant. He wants to commit, she thought. He wants a life together. How impossible that would have sounded, once. Still sounded, if she were honest. Was it? All she knew was that she desperately wanted it, too.

“I love you,” he murmured again, and bent down for a lingering kiss. They parted, and she laid her head on his shoulder, nestling into him, wishing she had more to give. Several minutes passed in silence.

And then, finally, she knew what to say, what to do.

She took a deep breath. “On Alderaan,” she began, “women’s hair is regarded as sacred, in a way. There’s all sorts of meaning behind how we wear it.” She paused. “And… there’s a lot of meaning behind who gets to take it down. It’s… incredibly intimate.” She sat up, trembling. Slowly, she drew a pin out of her hair and laid it in his hand. His eyes widened.

She hoped he would understand. It wasn’t a spoken “I love you,” nor was it a lustful consummation. But it was a sign, and, she hoped, a promise of things to come. A powerful act, words without words. Would he hear them? She rotated on the bench, presenting him with the coil of braids that were wrapped around the back of her head.

Slowly, he reached out and touched them. Then he kissed the nape of her neck, making the tiny hairs there stand on end. She let out a shaky breath. He began to search, his fingers wandering over the braids. He pulled out one pin, then another. Every time he removed one, he planted another kiss—this one on her shoulder, that one on her cheek, another one on her neck again.

Finally, the last pin was out and her hair was unraveled. She felt it spilling like a waterfall over her shoulders and back. From behind her, Han made a quiet, agonized sort of sound. She’d never worn her hair down around him before. With reverent care, he dug his fingers into her loose tresses, slowly running through them, gently smoothing out the tangles. “Leia,” he murmured, voice cracking. “It’s… kriff, you’re so beautiful.” He buried his head in it, kissed it.

Once again, Leia didn’t know what to say. A lump had formed in her throat; it seemed to come from a bubble of joy inside her that was growing larger and larger by the second. There were no words for this. She simply turned around to face him, drew his forehead to hers, and then kissed him again, long and deep, while his hands wove through her hair.

[rilldineth]

So a friend of mine told me that given that we are now in 2020, it will be fun if I did a top 20 ships of the past decade for me and boy, did I thought was a good idea and I have decided, why not right? I will be listing them here and...if followers decide to read it...well...

You will quickly notice that probably that most, if not all the ships fall on the following categories: a) rare-ships that are obv not canon; b) ships that are obviously crack; c) ships that had wasted potential, the ones hinted but never happened or briefly happened in canon and writers decided to fuck up. There’s also only one...one RL ship and I am ashamed yet not, but had to list it because I spent a long time hung up on it so don’t judge me.

So yes list...

Before the list, no list is complete without some honorable mentions, these are mostly ships I either got into the hype to recently (not being dedicated for years as the one I will list) or had my fancy then lost it.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Charlastor from Hazbin Hotel (recently got into it)

Clack from Final Fantasy VII

Cloud x Squall from Final Fantasy/KH series.

Hayffie from The Hunger Games.

TodoMomo from Boku Hero no Academia.

Gency from Overwatch series ( on and off )

RinMako from Free!

Terraqua from Kingdom Hearts series.

TOP 20 SHIPS OF THE PAST DECADE

20. Spuhura - Spock x Nyota Uhura (Star Trek original and reboot): Again this was another ship that I liked, since the original series, while everyone was Spirk this and that, I was like,’’yas, yas give me the sweet, sweet Spock and Uhura interactions’ and I was happy the reboot hooked them up, even if that ended dubiously but for a glorious moment, I had it.

19. Swarkles - Barney Stinson x Robin  Scherbatsky (HIMYM): This is one of those ships I am bitter, bitter and salty about, there are more in this list in fact next spot is another one. But I loved it and I did think they complimented each other better than the wet noodle they stuck Robin with, they took the time to know the other, grown separately and then together, the episode where Barney proposed to Robin gave me all the feels and it was so sweet, and then fuck the writers deciding to do what they did. It’s no wonder the finale of this show is so hated.

18. Lotura - Lotor x Allura (Voltron Legendary Defender): When they announced a new reboot to Voltron I didn’t think much of it. I had fancied Lotor x Allura in the original series, as dubious as that was, but then I started to watch this Netflix thing and there was something between them, something more tangible and I was happy. It was this strong woman with an equally strong man encouraging her strength and not putting her in the box of the exotic pretty princess, like a certain dude, and wanted to know her mind and interests, they discovered things together and for a brief moment knew peace and I was here so happy that we were getting something good and then fuck the writers again that decided ‘Nah bro, you’re not getting it’ and you know to fuck off again. I will always have fan fiction I guess.

17. VinTi - Vincent Valentine x Tifa Lockhart (Final Fantasy VII series): This is a ship that I think started to like during my second playthrough of the game, I always figured the both could work, both having loved people that for one reason or another couldn’t fully love them back (Lucrecia due to damn guilt and Cloud because of Aerith) and both were mature enough to fit together, I just like them okay.

16. Helsa - Hans x Elsa (Frozen): Truly, I have never made it a secret that I really dislike this movie, I truly do. The only good things were Hans (which I am still huh at the ‘turns out he is evil’ I still call trolls) and Elsa (because of her damn powers) and then the next step was shipping them and honestly, he should have gone for the older sister lmao, they make more sense and there have very nice fiction out there.

15. Yuzuvier - Javier Fernandez x Yuzuru Hanyu (Figure Skating): Ahh, we have reached my dreaded and dark secret only RPF fancy. Be it broship or more, I always liked the friendship and camaraderie these two skaters had with each other, they were rink mates and rivals but above all friends. I was kokoro break when Yuzuru was telling Javi that he couldn’t do it without him and stop it you two. I just like them, they are wholesome.

14. Victuuri - Viktor Nikiforov x Yuuri Katsuki (Yuri!!! On Ice): And here we have another precious figure skating duo when I started to watch this series it was only because it was a figure skating anime and I love figure skating, I never expected to see a wholesome and wonderful healthy relationship to explode in front of me. The relationship between Viktor and Yuuri is just so lovely, so mature, they both worked through issues, grew from them and accepted them even and I can’t I love it. (Special mention here to Yurio x Mila, as is another ship I love from this series and so underrepresented).

13. Jonerys - Jon Snow x Daenerys Targaryen (ASOIAF/GoT): Regardless of the stupidity committed in the series, I have shipped them since the books, because I can read in between the lines and there are too many parallels between them and their journeys, ones that at will some point collide and bring them together in a way that will be worth it, so better make it count George. 

12. Rhaegar Targaryen x Lyanna Stark (ASOIAF/GoT): Yes, mea culpa, I love tis ship and no one can shame me for liking it and boy has people tried to do so. Were these two smart of escaping like that and not saying a thing? Nope, they were so not. Was Brandon smart going to Kings Landing, knowing there was a crazy king with a penchant of burning people and demanding his heir's head? Nope, that was probably the stupidest move of all. Do I want to believe they loved each other? Why not? Martin has a penchant for tragic love stories, I know this ship is problematical for some, but I still love it and if you see spot 10 here, well I have varied tastes.

11. Soriku - Riku x Sora (Kingdom Hearts series): Come on, this is a given. Prior to Kairi appearing, it was clear Sora was Riku’s world and Riku’s was Sora, they were attached to the hip, the rivalry for Kairi more felt like Riku being jealous of Kairi and wanting Sora’s attention back. Then we have KH2 where Sora spent the whole damn game being all ‘Riku, Riku!’ and Riku doing his damn best to help him from the shadows, ashamed to be seen. DDD was more Riku protecting him and Sora leaning on him, even KH3 had Sora wanting to find and reach Riku, and then Riku going once again to find him by the end, so I am sorry but if there was a love story written here it was between these two. 

10. Hannigram - Hannibal Lecter x Will Graham (Hannibal): Quite honestly, from all the things I ship, they are probably what one will consider the most toxic one I guess, which fair considering one part of the ship is a charismatic yet cannibalistic serial killer. But there was something in the way this relationship was developed by Fuller and brilliantly brought out by Mads and Hughs that just hooked me, their soft moments, their violent ones, it just somehow worked for me. I guess this is also one of the few canon ships that I have, funny enough.

09. Rivetra - Levi Ackerman x Petra Ral (Shingeki no Kyojin): Who will have thought that a series about human eating titans was going to give me one of my most everlasting and also shortlived OTP’s. Years can pass by and I will still love this ship, my heart will still believe there was something more between them, something that was realized or something that wasn’t, I don’t know, but I will forever love it and even though years have passed since she died, I always enjoy the hints here and there that he still remembers her or hints where we are supposed to do so.

08. Squinoa - Squall Leonhart x Rinoa Heartilly (Final Fantasy VIII): People can say whatever the fuck they want ‘the love story was rushed’ ‘we hate Rinoa’ (fuck you btw) but it doesn’t change the fact that Squall fell in love with her and that Rinoa helped him to open up, to not take things for granted and Squall taught her to be even stronger and conquer her fears, they helped each other grow and it’s what matters in the end.

07. Feanor x Nerdanel (Tolkien): This is probably, from all the romantic relationships that Tolkien has gifted us, which I have loved the most and held my attention the longest. They have the happy times, the ones that were full of joy when they met and fell in love and had their children, then we have the tumultuous times when he became too obsessed with this craft, the separation when he left with their kids leaving her behind in her pain and then their possible reencounter when he leaves the Halls of Mandos and how they might deal with it.

06. ItaHina - Itachi Uchiha x Hinata Hyuuga (Naruto): Both the heads of two of the most important clans of their villages, both with heavy expectations upon their shoulders that nearly broke them, only one was talented from the start and the other had to learn, yet they are also similar. Both love their siblings to a fault, sacrificing so much for them and their happiness, both seem to hate conflict yet know is necessary and both are devoted and loyal to a fault, they would have suited each other wonderfully, in an AU probably they would have gotten engaged, who knows, but it would have been wonderful.

05. SessKik - Sesshoumaru x Kikyou (Inuyasha): A ship that could have been but that we didn’t have. This is a ship that has been with me for years and I don’t plan to let it go, they were the best players (in a sense) in that game against Naraku, also probably the strongest, both level headed and smart, not easily intimidated and calculating, together they would have been quite a formidable force and it’s a shame we didn’t get to see that.

04. Bethyl - Daryl Dixon x Beth Greene (The Walking Dead): Another wasted potential and gone so soon, not to mention forever salty at the waste. The way they were being developed promised so much, in the few time he was with her, well, she taught him to have faith and it’s something that apparently still shows from times to times (I am not sure as I stopped with this show) and imagine how it will have gone if they had more time. Just a waste.

03. Romanogers - Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanov (Marvel/MCU): I have been shipping them for years, like honestly, and when the MCU was showing me the seeds of potentiality I was happy, not even that stupidity with Bruce killed my hope, as they still had this steady relationship, he trusted her and she trusted him, something that she couldn’t say of many, they had each others back and took care of the other...but again another wasted potential right there.

02. Huddy - Gregory House x Lisa Cuddy (House MD): I spent years, kind of, season after season watching the delicious and lovely UST between these two characters, watching them snark and then help each other, watching the ‘won’t they will they’ dance, waiting for the moment when these two will finally collide and my lord was it glorious when they finally did, and I was eager to see where it went, as they both seemed to be in relatively good places, but no once again forbid the writers to stop House from being self-destructive and another ship I had waited years was ruined.

01. Terrence "Terry" Graham Grandchester x  Candice "Candy" White Adley (Candy Candy): And this is still my most important ship of the decade, I was forever bitter they never ended together and that their authors decided to make them suffer so much, but then Final Story came and all clues were pointing that aha they did found the other again and ended together as they were supposed to be, and before anyone says shizz, I did manage to read the novel and I do believe all hints were there to let us all know the identity of her husband was Terry and I am so happy.

And there it is, all the ships of the decade for me lol. Next stop, I should maybe make a list of mythos ships I like lmao.

[eleanor-writes-stuff]

a language of its own - Day 10

“And the heart is hard to translate, it has a language of its own.”

All the ways Rey and Ben say “I love you”.

Guys, it’s already Day 10!! Only two more ficlets left in my 12-day Valentine’s collection, which means things are finally happening! Today’s prompt is a hold me until my panic attack passes kind of love, and I think some of you will be quite pleased with recent developments. This one’s been a long time coming, so I hope I did it justice. Happy reading!

12 Days of Valentine’s Also available on AO3 Psst, you can also find me on Twitter and Ko-fi!

Ben ❤️❤️❤️: Can you come home please

It’s the middle of the day – just a little after three – and the timing alone trips her up so much it takes Rey a while to notice the missing question mark. Ben never skips proper punctuation. Never.

Rey: is everything okay??

She pushes around a few sheets of paper while she waits for his reply, reaches for her unfinished soda from lunch as she keeps her eyes glued to her phone. Two minutes later, Rey nearly chokes on her drink.

Ben ❤️❤️❤️: I quit.

Rey calls him immediately, her blood thundering in her ears as she tries to make sense of this development. Did he just do it? Why now? Was it Snoke? Of course it was Snoke, the old creep–

“Please come home,” Ben begs her the second he picks up, sounding smaller than she’s ever heard him. There’s an urgency to his words, a breathlessness in his voice that makes her realize–

Panic attack.

“I’m on my way, baby. Just hang in there, okay? I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

She tells Han a half-truth, something about Ben needing her but not why, not until he’s ready to share it himself, and coughs up the cash for a ride back to the apartment instead of waiting for her usual bus. Twenty minutes later Rey stumbles into their home with no small amount of panic in her own system, unable to so much as properly breathe until she makes her way into their room and finds Ben sprawled out across the bed, suit and tie and all. He’s even got his shoes on, his feet dangling just over the edge of the bed, and Rey’s first instinct is to pull them off and kick off her own shoes before she climbs into bed and settles in next to him.

“Hey.” She rolls over on her side and props her head up with a hand on her cheek, studies the blank look in his eyes as he takes exaggerated breaths. In, out, in, out…

Rey watches his throat work, watches the way he opens his mouth only to be met by silence. It takes a while before he turns to her with a quiet hey of his own, but as soon as he does he’s rolling over to meet her and burying his face in her neck while he throws a leg and an arm around her.

“I fucked up,” Ben gasps as she runs one hand through his hair and the other up and down his back. “I fucked up so bad, I wasn’t thinking – fuck, Rey, what have I done?”

It takes all her strength to push against him and nudge him onto his back so that she can straddle him and hold his face in her hands. “Hey, look at me. Look at me,” Rey instructs, tightening her grip on his jaw for a split second. “You didn’t fuck up anything, okay? You did the right thing, baby.”

Ben squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head. “I fucked up. I fucked up so bad, just like everyone always knew I would.” When he opens his eyes, there’s a renewed glint of panic and fear in them. “Rey, I’ve spent my whole adult life working towards this. I went to school for this. There’s nothing– I have nothing without–”

She shuts him up the only way she can right now, sliding her fingers into his hair and scratching lightly at his scalp as she leans down to kiss his breath away. “That’s not true and you know it,” Rey tells him between kisses. “You have everything you need to start again. You have family and friends who’ll support you. And,” she brushes her nose against his, nudging him until he opens his eyes and looks at her. “And you have me, no matter what. Okay, Ben? You’ll always have me, I promise. We’ll handle this together.”

He stares at her for the longest time as a dozen emotions play out on his face, from awe to terror to insecurity to hope to terror again. By the time his hands reach for her waist he’s settled on insecurity, and no matter how hard she tries she can’t kiss the lost look in his eyes away.

“I had a plan, Rey. A five-year plan, a ten-year plan, a fucking twenty-year plan. I thought I had my whole life planned out, and now… Now it’s all gone because I couldn’t stand to hear that twisted sick little fuck say another word about you and my family.”

Her skin crawls at the thought of Snoke talking about her and Leia and Han, at the thought of him trying to fill Ben’s head with god knows what, but they can talk about that later. For now Rey adjusts herself and pulls him along with her so that she’s propped up against the headboard and Ben has his head on her shoulder.

“It’s going to be okay, Ben,” she soothes him, holding him to the best of her abilities given how much bigger he is. “Plans are… plans are overrated, baby. I thought I had a plan, and now I’m working with your father. And honestly, I’m happier here than I would have been at any of those fancy car companies, doing grunt work and paying my dues, so I’d say it worked out. And it’ll work out for you too, Ben. I know there’s something out there waiting for you, something worthy of you.”

Ben nuzzles the curve of her shoulder. “I just… I don’t know if I can handle starting all over again. I thought I had it all figured out, and now for the first time since I was seventeen I have no fucking idea what I’m doing with my life.”

She lets his words hang in the silence that follows, lets him process his new reality for a while. And then she leans down to press a kiss to his forehead and rest her cheek against his crown. “You’re going to take a break, just for a little while. And then when you’re ready, we’ll figure it out together, okay?”

Outside, it’s starting to rain. Rey can hear the light drizzle hitting the dry leaves just outside their window, hear how Ben’s breathing is slowly going back to normal, hear the way he whispers together into the hollow of her neck.

“Together,” Rey promises, and holds him until the sun goes down.

He finally did it, you guys! Ben finally got sick of Snoke’s shit - and all it took was Snoke trash-talking the two most important women in his life. Imagine thinking your crusty old manipulative ass can turn Ben against Rey. Just imagine. What a fucking idiot.

Only two days left now, and only one more Big Development left now that Ben’s finally quit his job. I’ll save the long and rambling thank-you note for the end, but I just wanted to say a quick thanks for coming along on this not-so-fluffy-after-all ride with me. It’s been great watching this collection take shape and unfold with you guys, and I hope you’ve enjoyed reading it as much as I’ve enjoyed writing.

As always, thank you for reading and please don’t hesitate to like/reblog/comment. See you guys tomorrow for the final two pieces!

[crystalelemental]

FE Fates Replay - Part 6

Okay...okay, I think I’m over Peri being here.  Kinda.  Not really, but enough to move on with our lives.  God I hate her...  Her levels have been better than some of my units with Aptitude!  You couldn’t even just make her a bad unit?!

Ugh, whatever, chapter 12.  The map itself is actually really cool.  The idea is that there are a ton of jars lining the field, and they’re filled with poison or medicine.  You can tell which is which when you hover over them.  Attacking a medicine jar heals you or increases stats or something, for all units within a few spaces.  Poison harms you, brings you down to half HP, or lowers stats, again, for all units with a few spaces.  The concept of the map is to navigate through the maze by breaking the medicine pots strategically to make your way forward.  I actually really like the concept of the map.  I’m just...not entirely clear why this place, the most advanced medicinal center of the world, has a bunch of jars of poison laying out.  Or the medicine, for that matter.  You’d think they’d have a storage space for that shit, instead of leaving it lying around.  Kinda strange, when you think about it.

Anyway, Ryoma is here, but you don’t have to fight him.  You can either beat him, or escape within 16 turns.  Failure to do so probably means Elise dies, since you can’t use her this chapter because of the illness.  Saizo and Kagero are the mini-bosses, in a sense.  They hover right near that nice dragon vein that shatters all the jars, and are paired up so they’re more defensive.  Frankly, they seem kinda scary.  High speed, high evasion, able to hit close or distant foes, and having an attack on them just negated if you miss too often?  Pretty brutal.  Or, well, it would’ve been, if Dragon Corrin wasn’t huge.  She basically one-shot Saizo right away, and then massacred Kagero.  It was not even fair, frankly.  They didn’t deserve that hard an ass-whupping.

Now here’s where I want to note again: I am playing Casual.  So at this point, I made a save, and did two different approaches.  One was breaking all the jars instantly and seeing how that played out, and the other was leaving them.  Leaving them lets you be a bit more precise in your movements, but I honestly found breaking them all immediately to be way more effective.  A lot of enemies get hit with the poison, and since you’re causing the break, you can set up your units out of harm’s way.  That said, this does immediately open up the path for like 10 ranged enemy units to swarm you, and most are ninjas so your defenses drop really fast.  It’s surprisingly dangerous.  I’m sure there’s a better way to handle this map, but we’re on a timer here so instead, Dragon Corrin is just going to bait all your fuckers out and take like no damage, then have everyone else run in and smash them to death.  With that, all the remains is Ryoma.  Who is also no match for Dragon Corrin’s hugeness.  I paired her up with Nyx, and she deal something outrageous like 25 damage to Ryoma in that single hit, and took like 6.  Being a dragon is kickass.  Her dialogue with Ryoma is about the same as usual, but I did have Azura land the final blow, getting her unique dialogue with Ryoma as well.  Honestly, it’s more of the “Ah, so you’ve betrayed us Azura!” stuff, and how I guess nobody from Nohr can be trusted.

Look...I get it.  Nohr is the instigator in a war here.  They are, by all accounts, the bad guys here.  But my god if I’m not tired of having every single conversation with the Hoshidans turn into then yelling about all Nohrians being scum, and how being treacherous is just in their blood, yadda yadda.  I know I shouldn’t conceptualize it this way, but my god do the Hoshidans come off as way more belligerent.  Sure, we have the inside perspective of what the Nohrians in general are like, being inside the kingdom, but like...okay, imagine in Heroes, if everyone who met Laegjarn and Laevatein just kept shouting about how they’re horrible awful people and their whole kingdom is a bunch of back-stabbing sub-humans.  That’s basically how Hoshido approaches Nohr, solely because the king is insane and evil.  I get that they’re angry, and they’re right to be so, but their approach to people legitimately trying to act with a sense of decorum and decency is still to constantly call them scum and dismiss the whole kingdom.  Seriously, fuck you guys.

After Ryoma gets fucking bodied, Elise is given the medicine and is back to full strength!  From here we are given our next assignment.  There’s another rebellion in Cheve, and we’re to put it down.  Boy Garon, you’re sure doing a great job leading, what with the constant rebellions going on.  So, off to Cheve it is, where we meet...oh god yes.  It’s Takumi again.  Oh man, I am going to kick his ass into the fucking dirt.  He yells more stuff about Nohr being traitors and shoots Elise with an arrow, securing his death.  The rebellion is all mad and shit, and Corrin gives another order to not kill anyone.  Early on, we get two new characters, Benny and Charlotte.  Benny doesn’t stand out much at all, so not much to report.  Charlotte...is the only character whose outfit might be worse than Camilla’s.  The win still goes to Camilla, because...my god, lady.  But Charlotte is a front-line warrior, who’s barely wearing clothes.  I think I’d be less pissed if her defense growth wasn’t so high.  Look, this is a series with units in heavy armor and units in cloth armor.  There’s meant to be a distinction in which stats are good.  Her having great defense is not following the damned rules!  Also I think the armor part above the cleavage pisses me off too.  Like, if you’re going for the whole seductive appearance, go all out.  That stupid little bit of armor ain’t doin’ shit anyway.  That said though, her introduction is threatening to kill everyone for being too noisy at night, so like...I can relate.  Might be another situation of “solid character, shitty costume.”  But she sucks up to Corrin really hard, so she’s kind of all about the attention from others, and is a bit of a gold-digger in general.  So we’ll see if that goes anywhere in supports.

Map itself isn’t that interesting, so once you win, Hans, of course, does his thing and starts killing everyone.  “Uh, um...the king!  Yeah, the king totally told me to do it, so you gotta follow my lead on this one!”  Camilla apparently agrees and insists that there’s nothing we can do here.  Listen...I’m pretty sure there’s a solid argument for not listening to the current commanding officer being a punishable offense.  I get the king’s decree and all, but you know how Leo and the others constantly think around the problem and look like they’re obeying but don’t actually obey?  Yeah.  This is like...the easiest time to do that.  Evacuate the townsfolk and sticking Camilla’s axe in the back of Hans’ skull, and call it a day.  The village is gone, as far as the king knows, and Hans’ death was in battle.  They don’t know the difference.  “Oh, but Iago might be spying on them.”  Bullshit.  Iago could be doing a lot of things, but he only shows up to be slightly annoying.  Besides, if he were really so vigilant, then Leo wouldn’t be able to pull of anything he’s pulled off in the game.  We can’t throw out “Iago is watching” as a convenient catch-all for everyone, except for Leo because the plot needs to make us think that he’s the clever one so no one else is allowed to think around problems.

Chapter 14, the group arrives for some more rest in Cyrkensia, which mostly seems to be about a big theater.  It’s a neutral territory, which I wasn’t aware existed in this conflict.  Leo finally joins us and is around, I guess.  Corrin attempts to confront Garon about the situation in Cheve, and he’s just like “Good job on killing all those innocents.  I hear you even seemed to enjoy the work.  That’s the kind of thing I expect of you.”  Like, buddy.  Guy.  Are you an idiot?  You know full damn well Hans was full of shit on that report, and by now you know that Corrin wasn’t going to go along with it either.  Honestly, this is the biggest problem with Garon, he’s inconsistent.  For such a merciless guy, he sure keeps giving Corrin a ton of second chances after she constantly and consistently defies him.  Almost like...everyone’s kinda full of shit?  And that Corrin can do whatever she wants because plot armor?  Weird.

Azur-uh, the totally mysterious performer on stage, gosh-golly who could it be, attempts to sing this magic song that is too lit for the king to handle, so he has a combined orgasm/heart attack and nearly bites it.  Iago, ever the clever advisor, is like “HOLY SHIT, THAT PERFORMER CAST A CURSE ON THE KING!”  I...don’t think that’s particularly likely, guy.  But no, everyone just goes along with that, as if it’s the obvious answer.  So yeah, I guess that’s what we’re doing now.  Catch the mysterious singer.  Oh, wait, the Hoshidans are here.  Better fight them first.

Keaton shows up, mostly because he has no sense of direction and kinda just bumblefucked his way here.  He seems cool.  Wolf man that collects bugs and shit.  He’s alright.  The map itself was pretty uninteresting.  Mostly it’s just a lot of flying and ranged units on very narrow paths, so it’s kinda hard to defend everyone effectively when the enemy is so much less hindered by the terrain.  Also there’s a cleric who uses the Freeze staff, and my god am I already getting tired of that one.

After the map, Garon commands you to kill all the performers in this neutral territory, because that’ll go over well on the global stage.  Sure doubt that’ll set the neutral territories in motion against you.  Corrin is mortified and does that arguing thing, and Leo gets to be the only smart one and takes her aside, and tells her that they’re going to follow orders by looking in really unlikely places so everyone can escape.  See, this is what I’m talking about!  Iago’s literally in this general area, and yet the plan is spelled out and carried out without a hitch!  Why couldn’t anyone have figured this out back in Cheve?!

Chapter 15, this is another fun map.  Corrin is still upset about all the needless killing lately, and sees Azura taking a walk as well.  Thinking about how similar their situations are, she follows, and finds Azura sinking into a lake!  Fearful that she’s drowning, Corrin chases Azura, and falls through the lake herself, into this mystery world full of weird soldiers that are apparently not able to feel any emotion at all and just seek to kill.  Gunter shows up and is apparently alive and well here, so that’s cool.  Really, there’s a lot I can recall that pisses me off about this hidden world, but that’s for a much later time when they try to explain shit.  For now, just know that I hate this place.

The map itself is neat.  The dragon vein splits your party into two copies, one in the north and one in the south.  A unit and their copy share damage and stat changes, so anything that hurts one hurts the other.  Also only the real Azura in the north can do the singing thing.  It’s a neat concept, and having only three units to do it is an interesting limitation, but...one of them is Azura, who is very weak, and her copy can’t even provide multiple turns.  And the other is Gunter, whose stats are not terrible but who comes with no preparation and the worst growths in the entire game for some reason.  At least you get a bunch of stat upgrading items if you can clear it fully.

Now...this is where things get dumb.  Azura informs you that you must jump off this cliff, and you’ll arrive at the bottomless pit that Gunter got kicked into.  Why?  Dunno, that’s just how they’re connected.  Corrin asks why they can’t just go back through the water, and Azura informs her that only Azura and Corrin are able to do that, so Gunter would get left behind.  Corrin asks the logical follow up of “Why the hell would that be the case?” but this question is ignored so that there’s more shit they can explain in the true route.  I’d call this foreshadowing, but I think foreshadowing comes with a degree of subtlety.  Azura jumps, and Corrin follows, with Gunter going last.  Oh, I forgot something.  Azura informs them that “time flows differently in this hidden world,” which is bullshit code for “we needed a way to get Corrin and Azura alone for this next scene, so Gunter not showing up immediately with them is because the flow of time is convoluted.”  So begins the true contrivance train.  Azura uses a magic crystal from the hidden world that can show you the truth of things.  She uses this to show Corrin the truth of King Garon, that he is a weird goo monster!  Literally, he’s made of goo.  Callie didn’t believe me when I called him a goo monster, but she has since acknowledged this is the only explanation for him.  What does this mean?  No idea.  Initially, I would’ve said he was killed and replaced by the thing, but Azura further explains that her performance in Cyrkensia (*gasp* It was her the whole time?!), was to restore Garon to his senses, implying that he’s still the same human, just corrupted into...whatever this is.  Somehow.  God, I hope they can explain how the fuck this happened, but I doubt they can.  Azura explains that this song was the only way to restore him, and that it failing means there’s only one option - regicide.  About time someone on this fucking team started talking any sense.

CONTRIVANCE TWO!  Corrin says no one else would go along with this, and that they can’t tell the other siblings about this because, as Azura explained earlier, if you talk about the other world, you’re cursed and get drawn back in, never to leave.  Because if you could just talk about the problem, then this entire plot, from start to fucking finish, would be resolved in the span of like 5 minutes.  We needed a contrivance to say why they can’t just do that.  But hey, you know, Awakening’s story just wasn’t that good, and we’re here to do a better job.  They remember the Hoshidan throne, and that sitting upon it would restore someone’s true memories and shit, so their new plan is to gain Garon’s trust and have him sit atop that throne and be revealed as a good monster.  So let’s just run with that.

Chapter 16, Xander finally joins us!  He has a nice introduction with Corrin and Azura in particular, mentioning that when Azura came to Nohr, it was with Garon’s second wife, Arete.  Now...I’m confused.  So, diving into things from my last playthrough, Mikoto and Arete are siblings, from Valla.  Arete had Azura before marrying Garon, so I’m assuming that Garon must’ve already had his four kids by the time she shows up, since none of the Nohrian siblings are apparently related.  But Xander only mentions Camilla and “later, Leo” in his explanation of the other siblings liking her despite the masses not liking her.  So...when were the kids born?  Because in addition to this, apparently Elise has no memories of her father ever being a good person, which I believe happened shortly after Arete, who must’ve come in after Leo was born but maybe not before Elise?  It’s so fucking confusing.

Anyway, we’re on the direct war-path with Hoshido.  We’re told to go by sea, since they’d never expect a sea-based attack!  Garon makes some comment about outsmarting them at every turn, and it’s like...guy, listen.  I know you think this is super clever, but unless the Hoshidans are full-on dumbasses, they thought about the fact that the navy can get to them too.  Iago also attempts to be a shit, by asking where Corrin and Azura went last night.  Corrin, in the span of like two seconds, seems to have learned how to lie really well, and gives the story that they went out for a stroll, encountered some unknown soldiers, and killed them all.  She even parrots Garon’s thing about rebellion and seeds and all that.  Our girl is learning...

No sooner do you leave port than you are besieged by pirates.  Yes, pirates have snuck aboard, and are taking all the gold you set off with!  ...a few questions.  (1) Why is this gold not in your pockets?  (2) When you win, why is some of the money gone forever?  You’re at sea, and there are no pirate vessels nearby.  They all snuck aboard ahead of time, and have no exit point.  So where the hell did the money go?  This mechanic makes no sense.  I will admit though, I do like the idea of balancing keeping your characters alive, and saving as much money as you can in this kind of route where funds are limited.  It’s a cool idea, it just doesn’t make sense.  You’ll also note that the goal is “beat the boss,” but the boss isn’t present.  Part of your goal is to identify which Nohrian soldier is in disguise, and out them as the leader.  Again, really cool idea, for a fairly nonsense map.

There isn’t a ton going on with the map outside of this, but you unmake the boss, Shura, and probably kick his ass really hard now that you have Xander.  Shura talks a lot, but the only thing of value he says is that he’s the one who had kidnapped Azura as a baby, under orders from Yukimura, the tactician for Hoshido.  Shura explains that he doesn’t really have allegiance to either nation, but wants to avenge the death of his clan.  You are given the option to kill him or spare his life.  I sincerely thought about killing him, just to know what happens, but I did let him live.  Corrin thinks he deserves a break after all the shit that’s happened to him, so that’s fair I guess.  With this, we press on toward Hoshido.

UGH.  God, I knew the plot would take a downturn, and here we are.  EVERYTHING about that hidden world, Valla, is just stupid beyond words.  I hate its existence.  Even just smaller things at this point bother me.  There’s no reason Leo has to be the only one with an ounce of sense.  Hell, he even states that all the siblings have become masters of seeming to obey while making judgment calls for the greater good, yet no one else is allowed to demonstrate this ability because then Leo loses his only characteristic so far, being clever.  Honestly, the characters have been doing okay, but the plot’s holding them back.  So next time, instead of plot, I’m going to be doing the supports.  All of them.  We gotta figure out who’s getting paired up with who, after all.  So stay tuned for me going insane, because now I have to deal with Peri talking.  God...if you’re listening...please...look down upon the development team for Three Houses.  If they’re making another fucking character like Peri, where she’s just infantile and murder-happy, give them a sign that they need to knock that shit off.

[xsister-serpent]

All the Beautiful Boys

It had been a few years since Natalia left the Solo triplets. Now with her unexpected homecoming, the triplets are more excited than ever. There’s something about Natalia however that they can't ignore. Something that’s not human about her.  As her secret unfolds so do the dangers she thought she had left behind.

PART I  

It had been a while since I had seen the boys. Boy, I scoffed, They aren’t boys anymore. My footsteps echoed as my boots hit the wet pavement. How long was it when I stalked these back alleys? A cold chilled ran over my skin as the soft glow from the moonlight reflected from the street. These houses were all to familiar to me now, but there was one I knew from years ago. It was a white house secluded on it’s own on the very end of the street. I smiled as I remembered seeing the triplet boys running around the yard.

“I’m telling you Matt, our neighbor is a vampire," young ben spoke as he peered into the window, “Kylo knows about it too!”

Kylo rolled his eyes,  “Are you seriously going to believe that? Just because she’s walks at night?”

“Well, there’s no coffin,” Matt explained as they looked inside the house.

“Boys!,” called a rough voice belonging their father Han, “Get away from the neighbors yard!”

I strolled up to the front of the house seeing a glowing coming from inside. Another with a baritone voice talking to someone. Only a Jeep and motorcycle was parked outside, the falcon their father owned was no where to be found. I pulled my suitcases along with me, hoping that one of them at least would be home. As I reached the stairs I took a breath hoping my sudden arrival wouldn’t cause such a scene.

I walked to the front of the doorway knocking slightly on the wooden door. I could hear a rustle and footsteps coming closer. The door opened and there was a man. His was muscular and his hair was softly combed away from his face framing his broad features. He stood puzzled for a moment. He was a man now, his black short hair neatly combed and styled. He even had a small facial hair growing in.

“Hey Ben,” I greeted with a small smile.

“Natalia??” He asked opening the screen door, “Holy shit!”

He smiled as he recognized me and wrapped me in his arms for a hug.

“Easy Ben!” I chuckled as he placed me down.

“How have you been??” He asked letting me go.

“I’ve been fine, roaming place to place with work,” I answered, “Are your brothers home?”

“Yea, come on in,” he said leading me inside, “Man, they’re going to flip when they see you!”

I bit my lip as we entered in I hope so.

Ben grabbed my suitcases and dragged them into the house setting them in the corner. He causally took my hand and led me inside. It had been a while since I touched warmth of anyone.

“Christ you’re freezing!” He said as I entered in the home, “Do you want anything to drink?”

I chuckled, If only.

“No, I’m fine,” I sat on the love seat as he went to the other side of the room. I could smell their separate scents lingering in the house. Each one as floral and unique as the next.

“MATT! KY! GET DOWN HERE!!,” Ben called up the stairs.

“You sound just like your dad you know,” I spoke as I took off my coat.

Ben laughed, “If you think I sound like my dad, Kylo is spot on with our moms temper.”

“Sounds terrifying,” I laughed.

A pair of footsteps came down the stairs along with a sigh of annoyance.

“This had better be good Ben,” said a voice from above.

I turned and saw the last triplet stopping in his tracks. He had bleached his hair now and wore the same glasses as far as I could remember. He still had his baby face.

“Matt!” I greeted getting up from the couch and holding him.

He was stiff but seconds in he was molded into my hug.

“Oh, Natalia,” he chuckled as he gave me a warm hug, “When did you get here??”

“My plane landed a couple of hours ago. Still wearing the same glasses?” I hinted at him.

“Y-yea,” he said as he broke from my hug and clearing his throat. He immediately tucked his hands in his pockets while his face turned in a slight pink, “So uh?? Where-where are you staying at??”

“At the Redwood Inn. I was around for business and I’d thought I’d drop by for old times sake.”

“You can stay here ya know,” Matt suggested, “For old times sake.”

I glanced at him as he looked down at his feet then back up at me. He was always the sweetest one of them.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to be a burden to you guys.”

“Please, you’re the most interesting thing that’s ever happened to us,” Ben complimented as he inched closer to me, “you haven’t aged at all.”

“That what happens when you have a good skin routine,” I joked patted his knee.

Immediately I could hear his heartbeat quicken under my fingers. Ben had grew stiff, a small mischievous smile played on his lips. I turned to Matt who too was watching me. I was playing a dangerous game now. One slip and I could loose it all or worse loose them.

“What have you too been up too?” I asked moving my hand away from Ben.

“Ben works at a local bar in the city,” Matt answered clearing his throat, “I’m an I.T guy at my mothers business.”

“Sounds interesting, I’m surprised Ben, you found a job that suited your lifestyle.”

Ben paused for a moment and quickly gathered himself, “Oh..yea, it pays well too. And you can never go wrong with free drinks.”

“I’d like to go there sometime. See how much the city has changed.”

“That sounds like a plan,” Ben smiled.

“That’s if your brothers go to of course,” I asked.

Matt eyes perked up, “Yea that would be cool.”

I felt another presence there making his way to us. The boys eyes shifted behind me.

“Hey kylo guess who arrived,” Matt spoke with a smile.

I turned around and Kylo stood still. He seemed in disbelief as our eyes met. He was the oldest of the triplets. It showed in his ember glowing eyes. His hair was darker than and longer than Ben’s framing his face. Kylo had darker facial hair than ben, making him look more older than his brothers. He was more built than Matt and had the arms to show it. He abruptly dropped his mug to the floor causing it to shatter into pieces.

“Jesus Kylo!” Matt spoke as he rushed past his older brother, “That’s the second mug you broke this month!”

He held my gaze his eyes searching mine in disbelief. He was hesitant to speak.

“Kylo. It’s me, Natalia,” I paused searching for some reaction.

“I know.” he jaw set.

Kylo turned to his shattered mug and Matt who was hustling to cleaning it up. He stared back at me almost envious.

“I’d thought you’d be happy to see me.”

“I am, it’s just...odd,” he answered eyeing me from head to toe, “Showing up in the middle of the night unexpected.”

I stood quiet as his eyes furrowed at me. There was something unusual about him. Did he know?? No, how could he?? He’d been here is whole life.

“Hey clutz,” Ben spoke breaking Kylo's gaze at me, “Nat is going to stay here for a while.”

Kylo rose an eyebrow at me.

“Just for a week,” I added, “I have some business here.”

“What kind of business?” Kylo asked as he helped Matt pick up the shattered pieces.

“An art gallery,” I answered, “They’re previewing some pieces I’ve been meaning to buy.”

Kylo nodded as he and Matt cleaned, “And that’s all?”

Although his voice sound pleasant it was the venomous look in his eyes when he looked up at me. Matt must have sense it too.

“If that’s not too much trouble for me to be here. I have a reservation at the redwood inn.”

“No,” he answered with a hint of urgency as he handed Matt the dustpan, “You can stay.”

“Thanks,” I replied.

He nodded and went into the kitchen quietly. I looked at Ben and Matt who both shrugged. They too were at a lost for words. He’ll come around, I thought, hopefully. A high pitch ring echoed from Matt’s wrist.

“Wow it’s 12 already?,” he said pinching the sides of his watch.

“Sorry, I probably cutted into your sleeping schedules,” I stifled a laugh.

“Who sleeps?” Ben joked, “If you want I can help you get settled it.”

“That would perfect,” I smiled grabbing my bags, “Well, goodnight Matt. Goodnight Kylo.”

Matt waved while Kylo nodded at me. As I followed Ben up the stairs I could feel Kylo’s eyes surveying me.

“I hope the flight from Berlin was nice,” he spoke from below.

I stopped midway, glancing back at him. He stood proudly as he crossed his arms defiantly.

I know you, I could hear his thoughts say, Oh I know you.

Matt shot Kylo a look of confusion.

“It wasn’t,” I answered causally, “The flight was a drag.”

“Nat,’’ called Ben from the hall, “Here’s your room.”

I walked towards Ben as he held the door open for me, “Guest restroom is connected to this room.”

“Thanks Ben, I really appreciate it,” I said slipping off my shoes.

“Yell if you need anything, and don’t be afraid to swing by my room incase you get bored,” he added with a wink.

I rolled my eyes with a chuckle, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

 Ben had shut the door behind him and I heard his footsteps drift down the hall. I sighed as I laid flat on the bed curling into a ball. A million questions rang through my head as I heard Kylo thoughts ringing my ears. I felt a wave of guilt in my chest as I remember the venom in his stare. I needed to make this right with him. I clenched my jaw releasing my fangs. This wasn’t going to be easy, but then again nothing with Kylo ever was.

***WELL hope you all enjoyed the read! I’m going to make this as multiple chapters so keep an eye out if you want to more about Natalia and the boys! <3 a special thanks to @floral-and-fine for helping me out with this!** tagging - @floral-and-fine

[cienie-isengardu]

Shmi Skywalker’s journal [Tatooine Ghost] - part I

Anyone who read Tatooine Ghost by Troy Denning probably remember that Leia got from Beru’s relatives journal that once belonged to Shmi Skywalker. Shmi recorded things about her (and Anakin’s childhood friends) life through the years, in hopes to give it to her son, once he come back to Tatooine, so he would know that Shmi was always thinking about him, believe in him and loved him no matter what. The recording also helped her to stay mentally strong after Anakin’s departure, while she was left in slavery.

I think this journal is pretty interesting source to know, especially since it helped Leia a lot to learn about her family she never knew - or in case of Darth Vader - never wanted to know. This is really touching to see Shmi Skywalker through Leia’s eyes, especially since women from Skywalker family have so rarely a chance to interact. The journal gave Leia an unique chance to "meet” her grandmother, to learn of Shmi's quiet dignity and unconditional love for son. To learn how Shmi met Cliegg Lars, more about Watto and their relationship and Jinn’s part in freeing Shmi from slavery. For all interested, I copied and pasted below entries from Shmi’s journal (and Leia’s reaction / commentary). This part is focused at the first years after Anakin’s departure:

The question ENTRY? appeared on the display. Leia asked for the first one, and a time stamp appeared in the lower corner. There was a place for a date stamp opposite, but a message read "Calendar file corrupted." A moment later, a dark-eyed woman appeared on the screen. She had a small upturned nose and brown hair pulled back, and she looked a little tired, her face lined by worry and weather. Despite her fatigue, she was still attractive in that hard Tatooine way, with a quiet dignity and serene composure that Leia perceived despite the small display.

No... not perceived, Leia realized. Recognized. It would be difficult to discern such traits in two seconds of viewing a tiny electronic image, yet Leia did know they were qualities possessed by this woman. She felt them much as she had felt Mos Espa growing more familiar, much as she had known when she entered the slave hut where her father might have lived.

The Force again, carrying her into the Skywalkers' past. "All right. Who are you?" Leia leaned forward, studying the image more closely. "Luke's Aunt Beru?"

The mystery woman remained in the display, her brow furrowing as she concentrated on something. Her lips began to move, but no sound came. Leia adjusted the volume to maximum... then nearly dropped the journal when a warm female voice suddenly blared from the little speaker.

08:31:01

... this thing still is not recording.

A gravelly voice, not as loud, said, "What are you doing, woman? told you to clean my shop. Memory chips, you clean at home."

The woman's image was replaced by a bald blue head with large selfish eyes, a hoselike proboscis of a nose, and a huge mouth containing a handful of chunky tusks. In the background fluttered a pair of wings, moving so fast they were a blur.

"Where did you get this?" the being demanded. "Is it yours?"

"I bought it with my memory-chip earnings," the woman said. "I thought-"

"Maybe I should sell it for disobeying me, eh?" The image in the display whirled as the being turned the journal over. "But it's not worth much, I think. Back to work, or I will."

The display went blank-the end of the first entry.[....] Leia looked down to find the journal flashing ENTRY TWO? She told it to continue, and the woman's face appeared in the display, smiling.

19:47:02

You might enjoy something to remember Watto by, so I left that as entry one. He's not so bad, as masters go, and I do believe there are times when he truly misses your mischief.

Annie, this diary is for you. I know you'll be gone a long time, and that you'll be very lonely at times. So will I. This diary is so that when you come home someday, you'll know you were always in my heart. But your destiny lies in the stars. You will achieve great things in the galaxy, Anakin. I have known that from the moment you were born. So you must never believe you were mistaken to leave Tatooine. Wherever you go, you carry my love with you. Always remember that.

The journal nearly slipped from Leia's hands. "Annie" and "Anakin" had to be Anakin Skywalker, who had once been Watto's slave. The woman was his mother... and Leia's grandmother.

Leia paused, taking a breath, then asked for the next entry. Her grandmother's face appeared in the display and began to speak to her.

19:12:03

Watto came back from a trip to Mos Eisley today with bad news. He told me that Qui-Gon Jinn had been killed in a battle on a world called Naboo. No one knows whether he had a boy with him, but I'm terrified, Annie. Do I still have a reason to keep this diary?

Watto keeps saying that I should never have let you go, that you would have been better off staying his slave on Tatooine. I can't allow myself to believe that... Qui-Gon promised me he would take care of you, that he would train you as a Jedi, so I must trust that you are still all right. But who is watching after you? Who will train you now?

Annie, I'm so worried.

The entries for the next few months ran in much the same vein-though many had been destroyed by the data skips Silya had mentioned. Anakin's mother put up a brave front, recounting day-to-day events as a matter of faith that her son had survived and would one day hear them. But she also continued to search for news of his fate. One spacer reported hearing that there had been a boy at the battle, another a wild tale about the boy actually striking the critical blow.

Anakin's mother even spent what remained of her meager savings on a HoloNet news search, which yielded only the unsettling news that a boy had been seen shortly before the battle in the presence of the "slain Jedi Knight. " Few other details were available, for the Jedi Council was remaining even more reticent than usual about the incident.

As Leia watched, she found herself reeling with emotion. She understood her grandmother's fear and frustration all the more keenly because of her own concerns over Han. Every rumble of dry thunder, every flash of sand lightning, made her worry more acute. Han would have run out of water at least twelve hours ago. No human could survive a full day without water in Tatooine's furnace-like atmosphere. Leia kept counting the minutes, the hours, wondering when this storm would let up-and she kept thinking of her grandmother, wondering how she had endured a wait that was so much longer.

Leia would not have wanted to be the one who told the gentle woman the awful truth about what had become of her son.

17:30:04

Today you're eleven years old, Anakin, and some of your friends have come over to say hello. They don't know what happened at Naboo, so don't be hurt if they... what am I saying? You're fine. Wouldn't I feel it if you weren't?

Here comes your friend Wald. I gave him some of your tools - but not the droid you were building. I'll keep him, just like I promised.

The green-scaled face of a Rodian child appeared in the display, his bulbous black eyes shining with delight and his tapered snout squirming in excitement.

"How are things at Jedi school? Study hard, so you can come back and free us. By the way, I'm building that rocket swoop you dreamed up. Kitster's helping me. I hope you don't mind."

Wald's face was replaced by that of a black-haired boy with a dark complexion and huge brown eyes. He smiled, then held up a flimsiplast pamphlet with a familiar tide: Par Ontham's Guide to Etiquette.

"Look what I bought with the credits you gave me. Rarta Dal said she'll hire me to be her steward-but first I have to memorize the whole thing."

Banai's face was replaced by that of Anakin's mother, this time in profile as she told the pair to have a seat at the table-she just happened to have a fresh pallie tart in the oven. Once they had gone, she spoke into the journal again.

They are so proud of you, Annie-and so am I. You have given them the courage to dream of things they could not imagine. And honestly, I don't know what I will do when they stop coming around. I see your reflection every time they smile.

Perhaps that's why I bake so many pies.

Leia asked the journal to mark the current entry, then lowered it and stared out into the howling sands. She had finished Silya's flatbread and hubba tea more than two hours ago, and still the storm was in full blow. She clicked her comlink for the ten thou-sandth time and, when she heard nothing but white noise in reply, refused to despair. Until the storm ended, she could do nothing but assume the best and carry on.

She had learned that from her grandmother

Leia took a chair and asked the journal to play the next entry.

Immediately, the image of her grandmother filled the display and began to speak - the dark, tan woman whose name Leia did not even know.

18:15:05

Still no word from the Jedi Council about what happened at the Battle of Naboo. Watto is beside himself with fury, complaining that if I can spend a hundred credits to send a message, then the Jedi can spend a hundred credits to answer. It worries me that it's taking them so long. Three days should be long enough to figure out whether you at Naboo, and whether you're still alive.

Leia asked Chewbacca to deal with the Squibs, then checked on Han. Finding him sound asleep, she returned to the sitting room and replayed the previous entry. An administrator on Coruscant had finally replied to Shmi's 'Net message: Anakin was well, but the Jedi did not discuss the activities of their Padawans even with parents.

Even that was enough to elate Shmi. Leia asked for the next entry.

20:45:06

Kitster is coming over tomorrow with a vidrecording he has of the Boonta. I'm not sure I want to see it again, Annie. Watching it the first time was hard enough, and now I know that when you win... that I must give you to your destiny.

I remember when Watto bought his first Podracer and told you to fix it for him. You were barely nine, but you were so clever, getting it running all by yourself. Before I knew it, Watto had you test-driving it. I was so angry I threatened to plastiment his wings together and drop him in a solvent vat. And I would have, too, had anything happened to you.

12:18:07

Kitster is running late. Rarta Dal is keeping him very busy over at the Three Moons, so that holodisk he bought must be serving him well. He says he's earning enough to buy his freedom by the time he is grown. Wald is not so patient. When he finishes building his swoop, he says he's going to race his way to freedom. I hope he doesn't hurt himself-but it's wonderful to see them dreaming of such things. I think your example gives them courage.

Even your friend Amee has a plan, though she won't say what it is. I think she is still upset that I didn't keep her secret when she said she was going to marry you, so she would be part of the family when you won our freedom. But how could I have? That was the first I had heard of Watto's plans to have you race his Podracer.

Toydarians!

And you weren't much better. When I told you the Hutts were taking bets on which lap you would crash in, that no one believed you would finish, do you remember what you said?

"Then everybody's going to lose their money."

Leia checked the time. She knew she should arrange watches with Chewbacca and try to rest. But she also knew she was too agitated to sleep. With Han recuperating and stormtroopers scouring the desert, she was afraid the Imperials would find Banai and Killik Twilight first. Then there was the risk of being discovered themselves. Less populated than a single floor of their residence tower back on Coruscant, Anchorhead would make a pretty quick and easy search.

But most of all, Leia was frightened of how the journal entries were changing her perceptions, of how she was coming to view her father through Shmi's eyes as well as her own. He had been Darth Vader, cruel, brutal, and ruthless. He had stood for all Leia hated about the Empire, had been one of the things she hated about the Empire. And he had been Anakin Skywalker, the nine-year-old slave boy who was the center of his mother's world, who won a Podrace and inspired others to dream of freedom.

Leia was reminded of the old diplomat's paradox, that the facts often concealed the truth. She was entering into a new realm, driving out into that land of mirage and intuition where reality was never what it seemed, and the nature of an object depended on how one looked at it.

Sighing, she requested the next entry, and young Kitster Banai's smiling face appeared on the display and began to speak.

13:20:08

Hi Annie! I hope you get to see this someday. Wald and I tried to record your race off your mom's viewscreen at the arena, but all we got were the voices of your mom and a few others. Then a couple of days ago, Rarta Dal gave me a vidrecording of the whole Boonta. I thought you might like it if I patched them together and saved it for you.

"With my voice?" Shmi asked. "Oh, Kitster, I don't think that's a very good-"

The display flickered, then shifted to a view of the Mos Espa Arena in its glory days, with a hundred thousand spectators sitting in the stands and a dozen and a half Podracers waiting on the track, engines roaring.

An odd voice said, "Mesa, no watch. Dissen gonna be messy!" The starting light flashed green, and all but two of the Podracers roared off down the track.

The reverberating voice of an announcer called, "Wait, little Skywalker stalled!" A moment later he added, "Looks like Quadi-naros is having engine trouble also."

Then Anakin's Podracer came to life and began to shoot orange flames from its engines.

"Bloah!" The curse was in Shmi's voice. "It started." Anakin shot after the others. After that, the image switched to a view of the front of the field, where the brutal nature of the sport became immediately apparent as the leader-identified by the announcer as Sebulba-pushed a competitor into a gorge wall. Another crash followed moments later, and by then Anakin was coming up fast.

By the end of the first lap, he was leading the rear pack and moving up on the leaders. He dodged through the flying debris of a wreck caused when a wrench flew out of Sebulba's Pod into the engines of a competitor. Another Podracer crashed at Dune Turn after a band of Tusken Raiders shot out an engine.

Anakin came up behind Sebulba, and the third lap became a race only between them. Sebulba made his move in one of the canyons, repeatedly bumping Anakin's Podracer.

"Oh, that Dug!" Shmi sounded more worried than angry.

Anakin was forced onto a service ramp and launched what appeared to be hundreds of meters into the air, and it seemed certain he would crash. Instead, he did a quick control thrust and returned to the track-in the lead.

But the race was far from over. Sebulba came up hard on Anakin's tail. Then something fell off one of Anakin's engines. The engine started to smoke, Anakin lost power, and Sebulba took the lead.

"Skywalker's in trouble!" the announcer reported.

"Annie, be careful!" Shmi cried. "Shut it down!"

Anakin put out the fire and came up again. Sebulba resorted to old tactics and slammed into Anakin once... twice... three times...

"That little human being is out of his mind!" the announcer called.

The crowd gasped.

"They're side by side!"

The crowd groaned.

Anakin and Sebulba remained neck and neck, hooked together at the Pods.

The crowd returned to silence.

"They've pulled apart... they're coming apart... no, wait, Sky-walker's regaining control... Sebulba's the one coming-"

Anakin crossed the finish line, leaving Sebulba spinning in the dust behind him, and the crowd broke into a tremendous, thundering cheer.

The image shifted scales and showed Anakin's Podracer coming to a skidding stop in the center of the track. He shut down his engines, climbed out of his cockpit, and was immediately greeted by Kitster and Wald. With the crowd converging around them, they took turns hugging him and slapping him on the back.

Leia paused the image and spent a long time looking at the young boy with the sparkling blue eyes, thinking how happy he looked... and how innocent. Had she known him then, had she never met Darth Vader, she might have agreed with Wald: She might have believed they could not be the same person.

Leia resumed viewing.

The crowd converged, and the three boys were lost in a swirling mass of humanity. The display flickered; then Shmi's face took the place of the arena, her eyes shimmering and wet.

I was so proud of you, Annie-I am so proud of you. And I am also happy that now you are safe at the Jedi Temple... where I hope you aren't doing such dangerous things!

Han's groggy voice sounded through the door, calling for Leia. She stopped the diary and rushed into the bedroom.

15:36:09

I hope you will forgive some of the things I said on Kitster's recording. I truly wanted you to win-but even more, I wanted you to survive. You know how those races always frightened me.

I can't tell you how I struggled with the decision to let you race for Qui-Gon that day. When you noticed his lightsaber, you were so convinced he had come to free the slaves... it crushed me to hear him tell you the truth. But as Qui-Gon himself said, you give without thinking of yourself. How could I say no when you hatched your plan to win the parts they needed to repair their ship?

A slave boy helping a Jedi. To me, it seemed matters should have keen the other way around. I would have said no, and I know you would have forgiven me. But you wouldn't have forgotten, either. For the rest of your life, you would have remembered the Boonta Eve and how your mother wouldn't let you help a Jedi. And that wouldn't have been fair to you. I couldn't deny you the chance to be the hero you dreamed of.

Leia continued to play the journal, listening to Shmi recount how well Kitster and Anakin's other friends were doing, and what kind of mood her master Watto was in that day. At times, she seemed genuinely concerned about the Toydarian, for he had begun to suffer bouts of melancholy. Shmi seemed to believe that Watto genuinely missed the boy. Leia had trouble accepting this, but was forced to at least allow for the possibility when Shmi reported that Watto had actually made a gift to her of the ten credits she had borrowed to help pay for her message to the Jedi Council.

19:17:10

Today I came home to find a Falleen waiting on our steps. She was a very rough-looking lady, Annie, and not only because of those narrow eyes and sharp teeth. She was even taller and more beautiful than most females of her species, but her hair had been singed off, and she had a fresh burn across her nose. And there were holes in her jumpsuit that showed scarred scales and swollen bulges along her spinal ridge.

She had a plasteel box sitting beside her, so I thought she had brought some memory chips for me to clean. I told her she would have to pay in advance-I've been cheated by spacers before, even if they're usually Corellians-but she told me the box was from Coruscant. She apologized for taking so long to get it here and explained that it had been a gift from Qui-Gon Jinn.

Annie, I was so excited I forgot all about the box. Here was someone from Coruscant, who knew Qui-Gon. That meant she had to know you. But she claimed to be only an errand girl from the Jedi hangars and said she didn't know anything about Temple business. I didn't believe her. I told her I wanted to know who was taking care of my son. Finally, she said you were in good hands, and I shouldn't worry.

I don't think she was really an errand girl, though. I didn't see a lightsaber, but she could have been a Jedi-she seemed so certain of things. I so hope she told you about her visit, because then you will know how happy I am that you are following your dreams.

As the entry ended, Shmi's eyes grew glassy with tears, and Leia was surprised to find her own eyes tearing. It seemed wrong to condemn Anakin for following his dreams-yet those dreams had become a nightmare for the rest of the galaxy. If only Shmi had known what his destiny would be... would she have had the strength to deny her son's help to the Jedi, to make Anakin live out the rest of his life in bondage?

It was not a decision Leia felt certain she could have made.

19:19:11

Oh, yes-the box! Inside there was a message from Qui-Gon explaining that while he and his Padawan waited for the Jedi Council to test you, he had asked someone to start a galaxywide HoloNet search to...

The display clouded with static, and Shmi's voice faded to an inaudible scratch. Leia replayed the entry several times, and managed to make out a few more lines:

"Imagine, a Jedi like Qui-Gon taking... when there must have been so many... his attention. The galaxy is going to... fortunate he came into our lives."

Leia gave up trying to make sense of the entry [...].

18:20:12

Watto behaved very strangely today. When he sent me out to buy his nectarot, he gave me five extra truguts to buy some pallie wine for us to share-and he insisted I get it from Naduarr because "I should taste the good stuff." I hardly knew what to make of it!

It turns out he had heard about the Falleen's visit, and that she had come on a ship from Coruscant. All he wanted was to hear how you're doing- well, what he asked was "how many Podraces has the boy won." I told him the Jedi don't allow their students to enter Podraces, but that you're doing well with your training.

I'm sure I wasn't stretching the truth, Annie, and the news seemed to calm Watto. Sometimes, I think he really misses you... though of course he won't admit it. He just grumbles that if he hadn't let "that Jedi" cheat him out of you, he'd be richer than a Hutt by now.

The entry ended, leaving Leia a little perplexed about Shmi's patience with her Toydarian owner. But many relationships were complicated, and she had learned in her work that few beings could be painted without shades of gray.

As Leia continued to view entries, it quickly grew apparent that losing Anakin had indeed affected Watto profoundly. The Toydarian continued to blame others for his "bad luck." But, according to Shmi, he no longer cursed at her, and he trusted her to run the shop while he went to bid on wrecks. He even continued to give her a few truguts every week to buy Naduarr's pallie wine, though he did not always insist on having their drinks together. And while Shmi never acknowledged Watto's right to own her, she seemed to feel for the Toydarian as well, sometimes defending him to customers who insulted him behind his back.

Then, after four years of routine entries, Shmi appeared in the display smiling as she had not smiled since the box had arrived from Qui-Gon.

<the next part will be about how Shmi met Cliegg Owen, how she was freed from slavery and her new life at moisure farm>

[disneymoviethoughts]

Thoughts I had while watching Frozen

Sorry this has taken me longer than normal, it's been a combination of not having any time and the fact that I was trying to avoid watching this as much as possible. Beware, this is my least favorite Disney movie. Don't @ me.

1. This opening song is not good. They're singing about ice. 2. Where are Kristoff's parents? Or at least someone who was watching him? Who let him just run away to live with rock trolls? 3. I will say that little Anna is pretty cute when trying to wake little Elsa up. 4. This is the only part of the movie besides Olaf that I enjoyed. Because there's  nothing more adorable than Disney kids. 5. There's no way their parents heard Elsa calling from that room. 6. That's pretty powerful magic to be able to alter memories like that. 7. I've said this before but I do love the irony in Disney movies that leads to the ending, such as Elsa being told she will be dangerous so she grows up to be dangerous. 8. "Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" is a pretty good song, and I did tear up when I first saw it. BUT. Surely there are plenty of other people in the castle. Guards, the parents until they died, etc. Anna could've him out with anyone but just chose to sit around and wait for Elsa to come out of her room. 

9. Kristoff not only talks for Sven in that weird voice, he also eats the carrots after Sven does. I can see the drool. That's not okay. Kristoff is kind of gross. 10. Anna waking up like that is definitely relatable. 11. "For the First Time in Forever" was catchy but it lost me when Anna said "gassy". Unnecessary. 12. The other best part of this movie is seeing Rapunzel and Flynn walk by. 13. Now I'm suspicious that Hans ran into Anna on purpose. I'M ONTO YOU HANS. 14. I'm awkward, too, Anna. I think most of us are. 15. Though if having an evil dude run into me on his horse is the only way to get me a man, I'd take it. 16. I never noticed Anna had freckles on her shoulders that is some grade A animation I won't lie. 

17. I love Alan Tudyk as much as the next person but I really don't like the Duke of Weselton. 18. I'm sorry, but "Love is an Open Door" is one of the worst Disney songs in existence and that is what happens to love songs when Alan Menken doesn't write them. 19. Fun fact: Anna is the only princess to ever sing a duet with a villain. 

20. "You can't marry a man you just met" Disney bashed itself in its own movie and I am here for it. 21. Even though I do love the original tale of the Snow Queen, I do appreciate Elsa and her struggle with her powers and trying to keep everyone protected even if it means being alone. 22. Alternatively, I also like that Anna didn't care about this side of Elsa that she didn't remember and went after her and understood that she was scared. 23. Can Anna even put Hans in charge? Shouldn't there be someone else to take charge in case something ever happened to both Elsa and Anna? 24. Despite the amount of times "Let It Go" was overplayed, it is a wonderful song and Idina Menzel's voice is just pure magic. 25. Also this is one of the most visually appealing scenes in Disney history. Second only to the lantern sequence in Tangled. 

26. I love how sassy Elsa got as soon as she forgot about everyone else. 27. I wish I had ice powers to make me an ice castle like that. 28. It's really a miracle Anna didn't get hypothermia. 29. Convenient that Oaken had only one winter outfit and it was just perfect for Anna. 30. It is a crime that they got Jonathan Groff to be the voice of Kristoff and didn't let him sing something other than this nonsense reindeer song. 31. How did Kristoff already know about Elsa when it just happened a few hours ago? 32. They snuck in a joke about foot size. I see you, Disney. 

33. Sorry, Frozen, I saw this scene with wolves in Beauty and the Beast. 34. This was really beautifully animated I will say. 35. Josh Gad is phenomenal and I love him as Olaf. His one liners are so on point. 36. I like the Mary Poppins reference in "In Summer", it was very cute. 37. I'm glad Disney didn't do the obvious thing and make the Duke the villain, have Hans with Anna, and Kristoff with Elsa (because of the whole ice thing). 38. How does the Duke even know that killing Elsa would make the ice go away? 39. "Oh look at that. I've been impaled" is the best line in this movie. 

40. Sven is cute and everything but he's kind of like a discount Maximus. 41. Again, I do like that Anna maintained Elsa's innocence and loved her anyway and never thought she was a monster and that she still tries so hard no matter how many times Elsa pushed her away. 42. I always love when they do nods to the original story, and the Snow Queen's thing in the Hans Christian Anderson tale was freezing children's hearts. 43. I want a Marshmallow to keep people away from me. 44. Kristoff was so adamant that you can't fall in love with someone in a day and now here he is in love with Anna. 45. It REALLY makes me angry that Kristoff remembers that he's seen the trolls fix someone before but he can't remember it was Anna. 46. Why wouldn't the trolls wake up as soon as Kristoff walked up to them? 47. "Fixer Upper" is another song on this soundtrack that I can't stand and will be skipping over. 48. I want to believe that the trip from the castle to the ice palace would take way longer for everyone to be getting back and forth so quickly but at this point I'm not sure if I care. 49. Why does everyone want to be a straight up murderer in a Disney movie? 50. Marshmallow fell into the cavern and I am not okay with that. 51. This scene is pretty intense I mean everyone's just trying to kill each other and this is like such a pivotal moment for Elsa it's crazy. 

52. Why would Hans save Elsa just to want to kill her later? He could've saved himself a lot of trouble. 53. Olaf bodysurfing down the mountain is something I really want to do I'm not gonna lie. 54. All I want is a man to give me his beanie in the winter, LBH. 55. Kristoff brought back the princess, you'd think they'd at least let him in the building. 56. I don't like this movie, but my god was I shocked about Hans. I loved that twist so much. 

57. This is one of the more clever and better villain's plans there's been. 58. No one finds it odd that Hans just left Anna's "dead" body in the room? 59. Olaf's pep talk is beautiful and I want Josh Gad as my bff. 60. Is there anything that hurts your heart more than when an animal is potentially injured? 61. I mean didn't everyone see Hans trying to kill Elsa? They have a clear view. 62. There is no ending in Disney history that makes less sense than this. 

63. I will say this as many times as I have to: you cannot act of true love yourself. If Elsa had sacrificed herself to save Anna, or Olaf, or literally anything else, fine. But the act of true love has to be done to you or for you. 64. Regardless this whole "love makes everything better" thing is a good message. 65. I want a personal flurry. I can't wait for your short, Olaf. 66. I would love to punch this movie in the face but I guess I'll settle for Hans. 67. Fun fact: the characters make up Hans Christian Anderson's name- Hans, Kristoff, Anna, Sven. 68. At least Anna replaced his sled.

[13thfloornz]

Hans Zimmer is not what I expected.  I thought he’d be a controlled man, perhaps dour, even distant producer/ businessman/ and money-making-possibly-soulless-gouged-by-years-at-the-top-in-Hollywood machine! He’s anything BUT that. .

“I’ve basically lived in the studio for the last 30 years” he warmly intones after his third piece, the title music of the movie Gladiator.  “This whole thing is just about playing music to you. I just wanted to hang out with people I’ve been playing with all my life…some of the greatest musicians in the world and some of the greatest friends a man could ever have”.

I’m already beguiled by the simmering Zimmer charm. It’s disarming to hear a powerful, successful, musical heavyweight, and one of the most prolific composers of the late twentieth and early twenty-first century,  so humble and real. If Kanye West is at one end of the ego spectrum of what success looks like, Hans is at the opposite- and far more endearing – end of that spectrum.

“ So let’s pretend” he continues in a nod to the substantial Auckland audience in a three-quarters full Spark ( yes, new name ) Arena, “ let’s pretend this is a dinner party and we are just having a bit of a chat”. It’s partly true. His chat is wonderful. But you have to like your dinner parties with music so loud that you can digest a vortex of spinning whirling thundering pulsating and, at times, overwhelming volume! Hans’ dinner party music makes heavy metal look like disco. At times I wondered if Hans is secretly a frustrated heavy metaller who somehow effortlessly fell in to his role as Hollywood’s heavyweight for musical scores.

His chat to us about Hollywood is light and ego-free. He mentions names with ease and grace- and zero sense of any big-noting. They are all- including the best of Hollywood’s directors such as his “friend Chris” ( the uniquely talented Christopher Nolan)  just people. Like him. Like his band . Like us. Just people with whom he enjoys making links. Before Angels and Demons,  as he causally tells us, “ I was in Paris at the Louvre with Ron Howard looking to shoot the Da Vinci Code. I love the way the Louvre’s classicism and the modern, in the glass pyramid created by I. M. Pei,  complement each other”. He says it as I might mention to someone that I wandered down to the local dairy.  Who gets to wander the Louvre after hours?  Dinner party chat. Casual. Informative. Warm and endearing.

And honest too. “ Now the classicist is going to play the violin while the rest of us make a lot of noise in the background. Wish us luck. We might get through this.”

And it is. At some points at least. A LOT of noise.

The audience loves the movie stories.  I wish he had given us more before each piece. An interesting angle on the workings of Hollywood through the frame of the composer whose music is so seminal to a movie’s success. “ I got a phone call at 9 am from Ridley Scott ( Gladiator director) . I am never awake at 9 am. But I took Ridley’s call. “What’s the movie about?”  I asked. “ Men in skirts” he said. But the more he told me, the more I could SEE his vision”.  He continues the story with a charming nod to his wife, one of whose comments  helped him and Ridley realise the movie was just too much about “ you boys”. They then added The Female influence. So here’s a man admitting to picking up the nuance from his wife’s words. And listening to her.  Can Zimmer get any better?!

A special nod, from the Gladiator theme, to the stunning operatic and longing-laden vocals of Australia’s Lisa Gerrard, who floated on stage in a halo of golden attire. Back in 2000, she won a Golden Globe for her title-song rendition. And Auckland was lucky to have her perform it again live.

The highlight for me in the first half, musically , was the theme music for Sherlock Holmes, which has the same charm as the quizzical lead in that film, Robert Downey Junior. With its banjo and accordion backdrop, the music evokes the humour and light touches of that much-loved film.

The Lion King opener also had the audience roaring approval, with the serengeti- call of Lebo M from Soweto. As he sings, he moves in a stealth- cat-like low dance of the African plains,  the genesis of all hip- hop moves. Wonderful to watch. There is a delightful brotherhood between him and Hans after the song: “ From Soweto to Auckland” announces Hans as he wraps his arm around his soloist’s shoulders. “ When I first met this man he was a political refugee in LA working in a car wash- and not doing a very good job! …..  The Lion King changed a lot of things…It’s currently playing in theatres round the world, but tonight YOU get the real thing.” And then he acknowledged Refi,  the other vocalist , who is Lebo M’s daughter.

Hans likes to acknowledge those who work with and for him. He mentions all of the musicians in his band throughout the show – from Nile Marr- son of the Smiths’ Johnny Marr and a prodigiously strong guitarist in his own right with a  powerful inner energy on stage- to Gary Kettel ( “Way- hey” is their code) on percussion whom he credits with helping him in his early nervous days in film scoring, to his drummer – “ My Brother” – Satnam Singh Ramgotra, to Tina Guo on cello whose 8 hours a day of practice from 3 years old has clearly paid dividends for her, and Guthrie Govan whose electric guitar solo in the second piece of the second half – Rain Man – was mesmerisingly beautiful. Perhaps his most heartfelt thanks go to his Musical Director and keyboard and accordion player Nick Glennie- Smith who hovers ever near Hans and with whom it’s clear he shares a deep and abiding lifelong friendship.

At the centre of this band and at the heart of the swirling waves of notes and tones and beats and rhythm and – above all, for much of the concert- volume, is Hans Zimmer himself . He is at the core of every whirlwind he creates, with head bobbing, smile playing at the corner of his lips, neck leaning to and fro, and feeling,  and present to, each note as if it were the first time he was meeting the music. As if every note matters to him, each time he plays. There is a quote from him in the programme notes “ If I play you a piece of music, that’s when you can truly look inside me”. Indeed. This is man of Big Passion and Total Commitment.

This largely works for him. Sometimes not. Some of the pieces felt so overdressed that I wanted to strip them back to the musical truth which bled through Hans in to the score. I felt that with Pirates of the Caribbean. Like a women with every piece of jewellery on-  and then some extra frills and bows. Overkill. Just too much. A chaotic wall of sound and flickering lights. A total sensory overload. Pounding inside the chest cavity of possibly every audience member. This might work once or twice over two hours but after a whole night of it, the senses get dulled, drunk on overload, with the neurology of the brain numbed in to staggering stillness by the sheer wall of vibration and layer upon layer of sound in each of the frequency levels.

Given the power of his elemental themes, and the beauty of his piano riffs, I wonder why Hans has felt the need to overdress his music in live concerts? Why so ear-shatteringly loud? Why even any need for flashing lights, another way to exhaust the neurology? Why not let the beauty of his musical writing sing the loudest in these live shows? And his personable nature ? And his engrossing stories?

The nadir of this overblown tendency came with the music from The Dark Knight. Why have subtlety when you can double-down on sound? Huge sound. Huge visuals. Flashes and lightning strikes. Everything thrown at the audience. That brooding,  menacing bass .Threatening. Throbbing drums. Thumping. No reprieve. Getting louder still. I felt my mind receding in to an aching stillness away from the cacophony of sound. I focus in on Hans, who strikes me now as a mad genius in a huge laboratory of sound waves pushed to their outermost limit.

After the fury and foreboding of this piece, Hans told a deeply moving story of hearing of the death of the movie’s star, while they were in post-production: “ Let’s go a little darker now” he signals. “ When we did Batman Begins, we didn’t know we would do three movies and 12 years of our lives” And then he talks of Heath in that  final instalment “ Daring, fearless acting…Just before we finished, we got the shocking phone call that Heath , our beautiful Heath, had died” .

And then, the show’s highlight for me- or one of them, along with Inception. The backdrop shows building outlines against a star-covered sky as the organ music of the opener signals the other-worldly beauty of Interstellar. This music has a particular and very sacred memory for me, forever linked in my mind with a deeply happy moment.  As I watch Hans at the piano, I say a quiet gratitude to him for creating such exquisite musical beauty, even as I am recovering from his earlier volume assaults .

I love the piano solo, the build up,  the slow guitar , the rumbling drums . As with his pattern , this too builds up to the Giant Wall of Sound. I wish those blue flashing lights would stop their distraction as I tumble in to the soundscape. Like Interstellar’s storyline, I am floating beyond, in an alternative space. I pull out towards the end and study Hans conducting the whole enormous enterprise from the front of the stage. The first time he has done this. Nothing glib or rehearsed. He is totally absorbed in his music.  And at the end, he thanks them all: “ The most astonishing musicians and the best friends I have” .

A huge standing ovation. The crowd stamping for more. And I don’t think it was only I who was asking myself “What did I just witness here?” . It was not so much a concert as a Happening – a full immersion in the driving musical passion and joy- and at times overload –  of one man.

The encore could not have ended the night more perfectly. Inception. Zimmer striking those opening notes with a tenderness and beauty and musical sensibility that was exquisite.

He is a transporting musician to watch in action. His love for music infuses his audience. When the last notes of Inception float away, he raises both hands in symbolic High Five to the audience, and most respond in kind.

The audience came and saw. They were conquered – some by the beauty of the music, some by Zimmer’s charm some by the enormity of the musical talent on stage.  None of the main musicians of his band even used musical scores, so immersed were they, like Zimmer, in what they created for us with all their passion and commitment. I passed a few Aucklanders on my way out who looked dazed by the sensory overload. The volume button needs to be turned down, no doubt in my mind.   But no one in that Auckland audience could refute that Hans Zimmer and  his band  had given us all of themselves, musically.

Zimmer’s warmth and humour were somehow captured in the taped Monty Python song that played as we left : “ Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life” . A nod, I suspect , to the Zimmer philosophy .

Liz Gunn

  Click on any image to view a photo gallery by David Watson:

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  Setlist

Driving Miss Daisy. Sherlock Holmes. Madagascar.

 Crimson Tide. Angels and Demons.

 Gladiator.

 The Da Vinci Code.

 The Lion King.

 The Pirates of the Caribbean.

Interval

 True Romance.

 Rain Man. Thelma and Louise.

 Man of Steel.

10.The Thin Red Line.

The Amazing Spider-Man.

The Dark Knight.

Interstellar.

Encore

16.  Inception.

  Hans Zimmer – Spark Arena April 29 2017. Hans Zimmer is not what I expected.  I thought he’d be a controlled man, perhaps dour, even distant producer/ businessman/ and money-making-possibly-soulless-gouged-by-years-at-the-top-in-Hollywood machine!

[howwelldoyouknowyourmoon]

During his sentence Moon was out of Heungnam labor camp for over a month

Moon was at an open prison five miles away. Mrs Oak saw him pushing a rickshaw down the street! One of the guards gave her permission to have a long talk with him. She cooked him a meal. The Unification Church / FFWPU stories of him being in a “concentration camp” are propaganda. Mrs Se-hyun Oak (or Ok) was a member for 55 years. She first met Moon in Pyongyang on November 6, 1946. She died aged 102. Moon gave her the special name of Sung Mo Nim. ‘Sung Mo’ means early mother. 

Mrs Oak gave the following testimony in September 1977. Introduction In 1946 … Moon met Mrs Se-hyun Oak. She goes by “Mother Oak” in that she was a sort of “mother” to the church in its struggling early days. During his prison years and persecution, she chose to walk alongside him on the thorny path. She is 80 years old… Mrs. Oak was born in Pyongyang, North Korea. A deacon in her Christian church, she and her husband [Mr Woo, an] elder in the same church, had two sons and four daughters. This interview, with her cooperation, explores the early struggling days of the Unification Church.

Q. First of all, please tell me how you met Reverend Moon. A. … in November, 1946, someone took me to meet with Reverend Moon for the first time.

Q. What happened after you met him? A. I was the wife of an elder in an established Christian church and a deacon myself in the same church. But a few of us deacons gathered around Rev. Moon for worship and prayer. The whole thing was unbelievable. At our meetings we were really high, spiritually; that is, we cried, prayed, cried in joy again. Once we understood God’s heart, we truly repented. Soon the established churches got wind of our meetings, and started persecuting us. Police stations were alerted and some of us were apprehended. We experienced the same Holy Spirit that had descended in the upper room of Mark two thousand years earlier. My own family, too, objected and others soon persecuted me. ...

Q. How did established churches regard all this? A. They all raised up their arms in protest. They were like a swarm of angry bees. In 1947 our group had about 30 members, most of whom were regular members of established churches. They were all persecuted; they were made to suffer hardships by In Joo Kim’s family. [In-joo Kim was the aunt of Won-pil Kim who had introduced Won-pil Kim to Moon. Breen page 74.] I could not stand the cruelty involved in this persecution and hostility…

Q. I understand that soon afterwards he was again imprisoned and tortured. Why? A. In 1948, Mrs. Sung Do Jee [Chi] came to our Church to make preparation for a Heavenly feast on March 1 (lunar calendar). [It was to be the Marriage Supper of the Lamb. Moon planned to marry Chong-hwa Kim in a special ceremony. She was already married with three children. Her husband reported the bigamous ‘marriage’ to the police. See notes below.]  The rumor spread fast and the established churches as well as the police got wind of it. One day a woman came and told us that she was a believer and so were her parents. Later it turned out that she had come to spy on us. The next day I felt confused and oppressed, so I went to Church. There had already come a detective from the police, who arrested Rev. Moon and Won Pil Kim, and two other female family members. [Chong-hwa Kim was one of those arrested – Michael Breen’s book page 81.] Mr. Won Pil Kim was released after four days, and the two sisters after two days. We did not have our feast as scheduled, of course. And five or six of us were apprehended and imprisoned. When I stayed in a cell for two days, Rev. Moon was released. Five days after his incarceration, he was charged with (1) being Syngman Rhee’s spy, (2) squeezing money out of rich women, and (3) disorderly conduct. Anyone charged with espionage was sure to be executed by the firing squad without a trial.

I was utterly confused and frustrated. All of a sudden, the spirit seized hold of me and I was literally rolling on the floor within the indoctrination center. Instructors at the center got scared and ran like jack rabbits. When it was all over, they came back and asked me why I was in such a frenzied state. They insinuatingly asked me one question after another when I became a follower of Rev. Moon, etc. I was then confined in a cell, and one of my nephews came to negotiate my release. All totaled, I was in jail for nine days.

Q. How did the trial go? A. I felt a gross injustice was being done to us, so I availed myself of a lawyer as defense counsel. The whole thing was blown up in the papers, so that many established church members came to the court. They jeered at us and asked: What did Jesus have on his head? They screamed that Rev. Moon ought to be butchered. The judge sentenced Rev. Moon to imprisonment of five years. I accompanied Rev. Moon to the middle of the courtyard and offered him the food I had brought with me. When I walked behind him, seeing him handcuffed like a common criminal, my heart was torn to shreds. I appealed to the higher court but his sentence was not reduced. He was soon transferred from the police head quarters to Pyongyang prison. At that time, over thirty family members drifted away, and I was the only one to visit him in the jail.

Q. Did you see him often when he was later transferred to Heungnam prison? A. Well, for some time I received no news, but one day a letter arrived from Heungnam. The letter said I should come to see him there. At once I made preparations for the journey and set out, taking a late train. I rode all night. From Pyongyang it’s about 1,000 ri (400 km.). I was just a housewife, not used to going out, so to go on a long journey through the night was not easy for me. But I knew that Rev. Moon was suffering all kinds of hardship, so I summoned up all my courage to undertake this journey, and I finally arrived at Heungnam the following morning. I took a room in a nearby hotel, unpacked my belongings, and went to visit him. Prisoners were coming out of the cells, 40 in a group, all chained. I spotted Rev. Moon among them. My heart almost stopped. I waited all day for him until he returned from hard labor all day. I was glad when I saw him, but my heart was bleeding too.

Q. What did you talk about? A. He asked how the family members were. I wanted to make him feel good, so I said they were doing fine. I gave him rice powder. The next day I saw him once again and took the night train back to Pyongyang. I cried all the way, tears cascading down my cheeks, which blurred my own vision. I couldn’t help it.

Q. And then? A. After some time I went back to see him but was told he was no longer at that prison. This worried me to no end, so I asked one of the jailers and he told me that Rev. Moon was at a place called Bon Gung. The place was about eight km. away from Heungnam prison. I hired someone to carry my baggage and went there and took a room in a small lodging house. My eyes were in the meantime riveted on the prison and I heard the squeaking noise of a rickshaw. And then, lo, Rev. Moon was pulling it! I rushed to him and talked with him. I bought some apples, glutinous rice and eggs, and whipped up a meal for him. Then I came back to my lodging, worried sick. I tried to sleep to no avail, and the next morning I looked in the direction of the prison and saw Rev. Moon sweeping the prison yard. I went to him and asked if he had received the meal. He said he had enjoyed it. He had to leave me, so I returned to my place. When I looked back he was sweeping the backyard. I went to one of the guards and told him I had come all the way from Pyongyang to speak with my nephew. He gave me permission to do so. We talked a long time. Rev. Moon told me he was going back to Heungnam in a month. I waited for him to come out again but he never did, so I had no choice but to return to Pyongyang. http://www.tparents.org/Library/Unification/Talks1/Oak/Oak-770900.htm

Los Angeles Times September 3, 2012 “Moon … problems with the North Korean government, which jailed him [in 1948] on charges of bigamy … He was freed in 1950. Moon’s first marriage, to Choe Sung-kil, ended in divorce in 1957. He had a son with her and another with Kim Myung-hee, who lived with Moon during the 1950s. In 1960 he married Han, then a young disciple.” Hagiwara Ryo: “Sun Myung Moon was first arrested by the security police on August 11, 1946. He was detained for three months at the Daedong police station [in Pyongyang]. The charge was for causing social disorder, for alleged sexual immorality. On February 22, 1948 Sun Myung Moon was arrested for a second time by the 内務省 Ministry of the Interior [not 内務署 the Interior Department] for his coerced marriage with a housewife, Mrs Kim Chong-hwa. On April 27 he was sentenced to five years in Heungnam prison.” The Life of Sun Myung Moon – the Messiah of a Perverted Sex Religion (1991) page 70   Professor Kim In-Soo: “Sun Myung Moon performed a forced wedding ceremony with X X Kim, who was already married. Kim’s husband reported this to the police.” History of Christianity in Korea (2011) page 499 Moon’s own words: “…they decided to report me to the authorities. This is how I came to be jailed for a third time in my life. This occurred at 10:00 AM on February 22, 1948.” Sun Myung Moon’s Life In His Own Words, part 12

Moon explains some more: (Chong-hwa Kim is the only person who fits this description): “There was a woman who was an important figure in the providence [in Pyongyang]. I visited her house for a year and a half and witnessed to her husband and all the other members of her family. The husband might have wanted to kill me, but he couldn’t do anything.” Today’s World, September 2008 page 11

Michael Breen: “In January, 1947, he [Moon] moved to the house of Kim Chong-hwa and her husband, Chong Myong-sun, who had become the leading members of his small group.” Sun Myung Moon, the early years page 80

35.- 教団では社会紊乱罪だと教えているが、姦淫容疑で逮捕された、または実業家の人妻、金鍾和（キム・ジョンファ）と怪しげな儀式をしているところを警官に踏み込まれ、強制結婚の現行犯で逮捕され、夫の告訴による公判で懲役 5年の実刑。 相手の人妻も10ヶ月の実刑となり共に収監されたなどとも言われる。 http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/世界基督教統一神霊協会の年表

35. While the Unification Church claims he was charged for “disturbing the social order” Moon was actually arrested [on February 22, 1948] for adultery/fornication. Other reports say he was caught by the police while performing a suspicious ritual with Kim Chong-hwa, the wife of a businessman. The husband took Moon to court and Moon was sentenced to five years in prison [at Heungnam]. It is said that the wife was also found guilty and the two [Moon and Mrs. Kim] were both imprisoned.

“Mr Kim Kyong-rae 金景来 interviewed this Mrs Kim in person and collected this information, and then wrote this report. [On February 22, 1948] the police of the North Korean puppet regime arrested Sun Myung Moon [in Pyongyang] on the charge of bigamy/sexual immorality. The reason was the husband of a certain Mrs Kim [金鍾和 Kim Chong-hwa] made an accusation to the police. The husband now lives in Seoul. At that time [in February 1948] Moon said that he and Mrs Kim should marry because he had a revelation from God, although Moon still had a legal wife [Seon-gil Choi in Seoul]. When the police stepped in, Moon was in the middle of doing this coerced marriage with the woman follower, Mrs Kim. The police arrested them. Mrs Kim was sentenced to ten months in prison. Moon was given a sentence of five years and six months.”

The Real Face of the Principle Movement [the Unification Church] by Yamaguchi Hiroshi 山口 浩   Published August 1975  Pages 163-164

Moon “was strongly and deeply attached to Mrs. Kim Chong-hwa”

Mrs Chong-hwa Kim: “I hate him so much I want to kill him.”

The tears and anger of Mrs. Chong-hwa Kim

Moon: “The husband might have wanted to kill me, but he couldn’t do anything.”

Moon took food from others in the Heungnam labor camp

Moon said they did not allow visitors at Heungnam labor camp. Moon lied.

[batu-yang-hidup]

Missing Gopro In The Jungle

This whole tale starts with my friend Han Lay telling me he had been up Bukit Tabur west two or three days before, and that when he was up there his Gopro Session had fallen off and gone over the edge. As Bukit Tabur is a steep sided ridge and a pretty long one at that, not to mention with dense jungle on both sides. I thought there was a very small chance to find it. I asked did he remember the place where it fell down and he said yes. Then he asked if I’d follow him to go look for it. If I’m being honest I didn’t expect to find it as it was such a difficult place to find it. But as I love the place and he’s a good friend I said why not. Han Lay suggested we invited a mutual friend named John. So we all met up chilled for a while at John’s place.

Then we headed to LRT one of Kuala Lumpur’s metro train lines over to near Bukit Tabur. We then grabbed an Uber from the train station. Actually funny story about that, Han Lay had poor data signal there so ended up ordering a whole bunch of cars to the LRT station by accident and taking the first one that arrived. At the base of Tabur we met an uncle asking for a permit. I’ve read you need a permit but the times I’ve been I’ve never seen anyone checking. Anyway the guy was a legend just got us to sign the book at the start and off we went. Made it to the part Han Lay remembered as the place he dropped it. I got my climbing rope out that I brought along to abseil down to look for the Gopro. At the spot just a short distance down from the top was a tree on a slope. So I got the rope out and thought to myself, instead of struggling down to this tree with the rope in my hands I’d throw it to the bottom of these couple of small tree trunks next to each other and it would get stuck. It did for a few seconds but then it slipped around the side and continued down the slope and off the sheer edge at the bottom of this soil slope. I was dumbfounded at my stupidity and quite annoyed I’ve barely used this rope and it’s disappeared down off the cliff into the jungle. I was thinking that’s an expensive mistake just like Han Lay dropping his Gopro in almost the exact same place.

So to cut the story shorter, we headed back the way we came but Han Lay was convinced it wasn’t so steep all the way back to the start. I wasn’t so sure, so Han Lay kept looking for a way down into the jungle that wouldn’t kill us by falling off a steep bit of rock. Fair play he found it and it saved us a tonne of time. We were now at the bottom of Bukit Tabur. Next thing we had to do was head along the bottom of the ridge looking for a blue climbing rope as we went. Miraculously we found it after not too long. And as a result knew the rough area that Han Lay’s Gopro must have fallen down. It seemed it was quite a popular place to drop things from above. We found a couple of iPhones, some other hand phones, as well as a few other things like water bottles etc.

Eventually Han Lay with his eagle eyes spotted his Gopro caught up in some jungle plants on the rock about 12 feet or so up. We both tried climbing to it but it was a bit sketchy. So I got a long stick climbed as close as I could safely and used the stick to knock it down. The relief all around after, was a good feeling. I think Han Lay and I enjoyed the whole adventure a whole lot more, because we were returning home without a hole burning in our pockets. On the way down we had enough time for a quick mess around in a small waterfall then back home via Uber and LRT. It was a good day out for sure.

[celinamarniss]

#IT MADE SENSE FOR LUKE IN LEGENDS. IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE FOR LEIA & HAN #LEIA KNEW HIM AS A WAR HERO (kenobi show had NOT come out it is NOT valid evidence) BUT NOT AS HIS FAKE NAME #HAN MET HIM FOR 12 WHOLE SECONDS AND DID NOT ENJOY IT# ALSO BEN SOLO MY ASS. SHE WOULD NOT LET THE ORGANA NAME DIE WITH HER

i'll never get over Leia naming her son Ben like imagine naming a child after your absentee uncle's fake ID