#HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. IT FUCKING TURNED OFF AGAIN WHEN I PICKED IT UP

[kittlyns]

It would genuinely be funny how many times I’ve come up with an idea or plan that by all accounts SHOULD fix most of my problems, at least eventually, only to have it inevitably thwarted.

[deafeninggardenerpanda]

The Kirby series as a whole for the fandom ask?

this is a good one! i was hoping someone would ask me it >///>

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Favorite character:

tough one, i like a lot of characters for different reasons. if you really force me to choose though it's dedede and meta. this makes me look biased towards metadede however LOL so if you really really make me choose between those two it's dedede

Least Favorite character:

i don't have any least favorites, mostly it's just people i know nothing about. in which case its all of the animal friends and actually, just generally everyone from the dreamland games and 64. pyribbit is an exception to this however fuck that dude

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon):

- metadede >_> andd that's the only thing i really brainrot over but other stuff i like: - morphogala 🥺 - magoranza :) - chilly/burning leo. listen i blame my server and the starlight theatre novel for making me feel this way - meta knight/sir arthur from the anime. this is my crackship that i never talk about and never will talk about LOL. also ive seen more than several people hc arthur as meta's dad so im just gonna. hide in this corner by myself. its okay i dont mind - this is 6 but also on the topic of the anime, meta/knuckle joes dad is also good. mmmmmmmm angst who doesnt love angst

Character I find most attractive:

hahahahahahaha that’s classified

Character I would marry:

BUT. dedede. i would also take zan, those two are tied

Character I would be best friends with:

kinda hard to answer this. maybe also dedede? honestly anyone who i could just walk into their house and crash and dump stupid questions and convos on

a random thought:

i think kirby would feel like raw bread dough after the first prove. very specific, but its always what crosses my mind when i make bread 🤔

An unpopular opinion:

in this fandom... uh, i like the anime. fun to watch to take up time and if you’re not coming in expecting what you get from the games, lore and character development wise. it has its own charm

My Canon OTP:

no ones together in this series djkfdhg. rick and pick i guess? i think theyre cute

My Non-canon OTP:

this was already covered in the 5 favorite ships section so boom this is a metadede free space now. dedede likes to call meta pet names that are the names of pastries and desserts, but they get so ridiculous and specific that neither of them can take it seriously anymore. in fact, now its a challenge to make them as ridiculous as possible

Most Badass Character:

exact same answer as the favorite character question for this one. different characters are badass in their own ways for different reasons. but also meta and dedede again 🤦‍♂️ 

Most Epic Villain:

STAR DREAM. i went into robobot already knowing about the game and the plot twist for star dream but the reveal and the lead up is still so damn good.

Pairing I am not a fan of:

i dont super like saying, so turning this into another unpopular opinion question. i just remembered i had one that might actually be a hot take now. sometimes seeing all character dynamics reduced to traditional family relationships is tiring. like no i genuinely like it still but ah everyone being turned into straight parent/child relationships feels very strange to me. i dont really get it myself

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another):

taranza. i went into triple deluxe from already being in the fandom for a bit, so only going off his fanon interpretation, and i was surprised at how little taranza really did anything and that he didnt even have much dialogue. underwhelming, though thats prob my own fault, but i still feel like they couldve done more with him in that game. also in general hal, hal please let him move on oh my gosh

Favourite Friendship:

say it with me guys. fifth time. its meta and dedede. i am so sorry i am brainrotting over them so hard lmao BUT. despite my shipping bias i like their base friendship more than anything else. frankly, their relationship in general just feels more satisfying to me cause you know they had to go through so much bullshit and hating each others guts to get to that point. having to work to get to know someone you hate and get along with them cause the universe keeps putting you in situations that force you into it, then finding out you have more in common than you think >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> MMMMMMMMM

Character I most identify with:

prob my interp of dark meta. chill but likes to mess with people and be a minor asshole cause its funny. not saying that i try to be an ass but also i would be the type of person to say hey. come here. lean in a bit. bitch. and then laugh myself to tears over it

Character I wish I could be:

........zan. for reasons stated in the last zan ask. i care her 🥺

[drarry-with-a-side-of-harry]

THAT WAS ONE OF THE GAYEST EPISODES IN A HOT MINUTE LMAOOOO WTF

so i’ve just watched series 4 episode 10 ‘A Herald of the New Age’ uhhhhhh

wait wait wait so gwen’s gone for two (2) seconds and Arthur and Merlin are flirting like they’re in a school playground all over again lmaoooo i’m so done

so first of all they get back to Camelot and Merlin’s falls back into his concerned boyfriend routine 🥺🥺🥺🥺 SIDE NOTE THE KNIGHTS ARE JUST FULLY AWARE OF THESE TWO AT THIS POINT THEY ALWAYS FLIRT AND ARE REALLY TENDER IN FRONT OF THEM I CANNOT BE ARSED anyway Merlin asks Arthur if he’s alright and Arthur’s all sad and brooding 🥺🥺🥺 so Merlin says he was being quiet and Arthur just answers him with a snide remark but with none of the laughter and ARTHUR, KING, SWEETIE WHY WON’T YOU JUST LET THIS BOY HELP YOU???? 🥺🥺🥺🥺

SO THEN WE SKIP AHEAD A BIT AND OMFG LET ME TELL YOU I WAS CACKLING WITH LAUGHTER AND KEPT HAVING TO PAUSE IT. THIS SHIT IS GOLDEN

so Merlin walks in on Arthur asleep at his desk. if you’ve watched the show you will remember this scene because it’s too iconic but am i gonna run through it anyway?? you’re damn right i am because i am obsessed lmaoooooo

SO MERLIN JUST STRAIGHT UP BANGS ON THE DESK REALLY FUCKING LOUDLY TO GET HIM TO WAKE UP HAHAHAHAHHAA AND ARTHUR HAS FOOD ALL OVER HIS FACE I-

who fucking wrote this shit it’s too good man

Arthur jumps out of his mind and Merlin the little shit has the audacity to say “oh i’m sorry i didn’t mean to scare you” HAHAHAHAHAHA YOU ABSOLUTE DICKHEAD MERLIN 😭😭😭😭😭😭 and he barely even cracks a smile how this man holds it together i will never know. honestly how Colin Morgan managed to deliver that just once without cracking up is beyond me.

OH BUT WE’RE FAR FROM FINISHED

so Arthur responds “you didn’t scare me, i was asleep” LMAOOOOO YEAH BITCH WE KNOW HAHAHAHAHAHA IM STILL SCREAMING ABOUT THIS

so now Merlin starts to laugh a bit but he’s holding it together. you know when you’re in school and something funny happens with your mates and you shouldn’t laugh because you’re meant to be working but you can’t not laugh and you’re all just snorting to stop yourselves from laughing??? yeah same energy

Arthur: “why’ve you got that stupid smile on your face?” baby i don’t know what to tell you anymore

Merlin: “it’s nothing. why were you sleeping with your head on the table?” and his face just drops to confusion HOW DOES HE NOT KEEP LAUGHING

Arthur: “i fell asleep while i was reading” uh huh okay sure thing

Merlin: “what were you reading?” this is turning into the most mundane conversation you’ve ever heard but it’s priceless because Arthur’s still half asleep and Merlin’s just fucking with him i’m so done

Arthur looks around trying think of something and realises be can’t lie anymore so this bitch just has to say “i am the King of Camelot i do not have to answer to the likes of you” LMAOOOOOOOO KING JUST ADMIT YOURE AN IDIOT AND LEAVE and Arthur’s almost cracking a smile at this point too we get it you love him

Merlin: “oh you’re in a good mood, you obviously got out of the wrong side of the table” AND THIS MAN JUST STARTS PISSING HIMSELF AT HIS OWN JOKE I-

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AND ARTHUR’S DEADPAN STARE IS PRICELESS

and Merlin explains the joke while he’s still laughing and Arthur replies “that’s extremely clever and funny Merlin there really are no limits to your wit now will you please just get me some breakfast” HAHAHAHAHHAA MATE WHEN I SAY IM HOWLING WRITING THIS POST

‘there really are no limits to your wit’ sent me

so Merlin goes to get breakfast and Arthur (who has loads of food on his face remember) uses the plate as a mirror OH BOY

THIS SCENE COULD NOT BE ANY FUNNIER I SWEAR

he lowers the plate with another deadpan stare aimed at the door. boy is FUMING LMAOOOOOOOO

he shouts Merlin and i will suck my own big toe if there is anyone in the castle Camelot that didn’t hear him MY GOD THAT WAS PRICELESS

me current state: deceased

OH AND IT DOESN’T STOP THERE OH NO NO NO

so the very next scene we’re at training Arthur tells the lads to pair up and Gwaine asks what’s in his hair. Arthur’s face is just a picture. Merlin helpfully answers that it’s stew. Leon asks him why he’s got stew in his hair. Merlin quickly responds “because he was reading” in that tone when Merlin’s being a right snarky little shit oh you know

the lads just turn to look at Arthur like “wtf man??”

Arthur takes a minute and says “change of plan. i think we’ll try something different” lmaoooo you just know what’s coming next

so Merlin’s used for sword practise

Arthur has first go and the lads are smirking at them and each other like “oh these two had another domestic” “about the stew this time ahhh right” lmaooooo

JUST GOLD

there was a whole two (2) minutes of just solid flirting, taking the piss and just generally annoying the shit out of each other i-

OH AND THERE’S MORE

it’s nighttime now and this cheeky bastard asks “would you like me to make up the bed Sire, or will you be sleeping on the table again?” with a little smile on his face HAHAHAHAHAHAHA it just keeps getting better this episode really is a gift

Arthur doesn’t respond because he’s all moody again and Merlin all but roles his eyes all he wants to do is cheer up his boyfriend 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 so he sighs “is this about Gwen” and Merlin looks kinda irritated and sad and Arthur won’t even look at him and Merlin says “we all miss her. you more than anyone” and Arthur cuts him off with “you can go now” maaaaate the feels

Merlin: “Arthur”

Arthur: “get out” oh so now you look at him

omfg you were happy earlier can you please just let him help you ffs you’re just making each other really fucking sad and it’s not helping anything

and Merlin leaves and Arthur kind of looks over his shoulder and almost shakes his head like he doesn’t actually want him to go 🥺🥺 and every damn time something like this happens i expect him to say “no, wait” 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

and now Arthur looks even more sad. well baby i don’t know what to tell you but you did just do that to yourself a little bit. just leT MERLIN HELP YOU ffs

SO Merlin storms in and dad Gaius is at the table reading and Merlin’s just ranting that he’s done being nice to Arthur and he doesn’t get any thanks and he’s saved his life so many times and all he ever does is shout at him. yeah boy we know aND SO DOES GAIUS because this man does not look up at him!!!!!! tell me that’s not Merlin ranting to his dad about his crush i swear-

Gaius tells him there’s more important things to worry about like the plot of this episode perhaps??? lmaoooo this is getting out of hand now. dad’s so done with Merlin’s lovesick bullshit lmaoo

so we move on a bit and Arthur tells his uncle that Merlin thinks Elyan’s possessed oh so now dad’s dead you value Merlin’s counsel huh king?? we love to see it

we love that Merlin can speak up a bit more now ehehehe

so uncle says that Merlin’s just tryna protect his friend and Arthur just looks at Merlin like “i believe you don’t worry but we need evidence man”

oh my christ we’re only half way through true episode i’ll try and speed things up a bit i think the main Merthur action’s done anyway

Merlin breaks Elyan out. arrives back at Camelot and walks into the throne room. Arthur’s drinking and reading something and just looks up when Merlin enters with the most glorious look on his face like “oh this bitch is back finally” and carefully considers what he’s gonna say to him 😂😂😭😭😭

Arthur: “Merlin! good of you to join me. perhaps i should fill you in on all that’s been happening while you’ve been... that’s a good question. what the hell have you been doing??” LMAOOOOO these two i can’t

Merlin: “i was...”

Arthur (cutting him off): “choose your next words carefully. they may be you last” pahahahahahaha alright king pipe down

Merlin: “i was searching.. in the woods.... for some herbs for Gaius” boy’s just rambling about herbs and says he got lost

Arthur: “you mean to tell me that you’ve been wandering around in the woods all night???”

and the look on this man’s face. WONDERFUL

Merlin says yes and Arthur asks what happened to his head because it’s bruised and i just knew it was coming ffs “i tripped over a root and hit my head on a tree and knocked myself out” this fucking moron. this fool i despair

Arthur just toys with him and offers him some food with him at the table is it a joke though Arthur if you actually just want to have a lunch date with him and Merlin realises he’s joking and we get another golden deadpan stare from Arthur and it’s the funniest shit damn this episode is blessed and Arthur just stares him down as he fucks off out of the room lmaooooooo 😭😭😭😭😭😭 and then to finish it off dramatically picks up his paper again so we all know he’s back to ‘important reading’ uh huh Arthur sure you’re not just thinking about that interaction?? like the rest of us clowns

fast forward and Arthur let’s Elyan go and somehow Merlin’s there again???

anyway Arthur talks to his uncle and when he’s gone Arthur confides in Merlin and Gaius i’m sorry but we have to stan some A+ development (also i really hope Arthur’s starting to lose trust in his uncle because i was sort of getting that vibe from this scene idk we can only hope)

Merlin’s in Arthur’s chambers that night clearing up and Arthur says “that’ll be all Merlin” anD MERLIN REPLIES “are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” UMMMMMMM FOR WHAT????? I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT ARTHUR WAS GOING TO SLEEP UHHHHHHHHHHHHH IDK MAN SEEMS KINDA SUS TO ME WHAT’RE YOU GONNA DO MERLIN JUST SLEEP IN HIS BED WITH HIM??? HMMMMMMMMM THE PLOT MAJORLY THICKENS BECAUSE ARTHUR DOESN’T EVEN FIND THIS AN ODD SUGGESTION BECAUSE HIS RESPONSE IS JUST “think i’m gonna get an early night” OKAY SO FIRST OF ALL THAT IMPLIES THAT HIM AND MERLIN WOULD BE- *BIG COUGH COUGH*

AND SECONDLY THAT IMPLIES THAT THIS IS SOMETHING THEY’VE DONE BEFORE I REALLY DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THIS INFORMATION THE EVIDENCE SEEMS PRETTY CONCLUSIVE TO ME YOUR HONOUR

then they have a nice little joke about Merlin not getting an early night lmaooo we do love to see the bants

so later on Merlin follows Arthur into the woods lmao of course he does would you really expect anything less at this point?? and they have this whole why are you here?! no why are you here?! moment lmao

Arthur tells him he’s free to go back to Camelot at any time sweetie you really think that’s gonna happen?? you fool Arthur Pendrgaaon because obviously Merlin’s not going anywhere AND THEN ARTHUR’S BACK TO BEING A SELF SACRIFICIAL LITTLE SHIT AGAIN BABY YOU’RE KING NOW YOU CAN’T BE SO WILLING TO DIE AT EVERY FUCKING PROBLEM WTF we find out that this whole thing’s Arthur’s fault but this whole scene is honestly so nice and lovely and warm and he knows what he did was wrong and that he was a stupid young man 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and the druid boy forgives him 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and he’s CRYING omg recently Merlin’s constantly on the verge of tears but when Arthur cries you know some bad shit’s going down and the music omgggg 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 “from this day forth the druid people will be treated with the respect they deserve, i give you my word” 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i love him your honour

so then we’re back in Arthur’s chambers and Merlin says “you know that was incredibly moving what you said at the shrine” Arthur says “it served it’s purpose” because Elyan’s alright ARTHUR STOP PRETENDING YOU DON’T CARE TO LOOK COOL FOR YOU BOYFRIEND MERLIN KNOWS YOU’RE 10X THE MAN YOUR FATHER EVER WAS

Merlin says “you meant it” and then Arthur gets a bit snappy because he’s embarrassed 🥺🥺🥺 and Merlin says “i don’t ever think i’ve seen you cry before. well not like that. you had tears running down your cheeks it’s nice to see this new sensitive emotional side to you, it suits you” doesn’t it just baby???? 🥺🥺🥺🥺 then we get a classic shut up Merlin and this is the first time Arthur dares to look at him throughout this conversation 😭😭😭 and then Merlin mocks him *gasp* “i really thought you’d changed” lmaoooo “then you’re as stupid as you are ugly” lmaooooooo Arthur just tell him he’s pretty and leave

and just to finish things off

Arthur’s walking to the door

Merlin: “so there’s no chance that we could have a hug?” and he’s half 🥺 and half smiling/laughing ready to play it off

Arthur turns back to him and starts play running towards him and Merlin runs away and Arthur tackles him off screen aND YOU CANNOT TELL ME ARTHUR DID NOT GIVE THAT MAN THE BIGGEST HUG WHEN THEY WERE BOTH DOWN ON THE GROUND AHHHHHHHHAHAHAHA THEH ARE SO PURE I LOVE IT 🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 can you not just imagine these two giggling and chasing each other round the room i-

[mc-slowwalker]

shipping to australia is a nightmare. anytime I go to do any online shopping I’m instantly stopped by the thought of shipping. hahahahahahaha at least that’d be a funny way to go out tho

yeah true!! every time I’m watching a vod I’ll get so startled cause they always pop up when you’re least expecting them too. I’ve only got my prime sub and I haven’t tested it but I have a feeling that twitch would still give you ads. they seem like the type

so true I’m not paying hundreds of dollars for textbooks I’m barely gonna use for half a year. oof that sucks. if I didn’t google my way through those exams I guarantee I would have failed though😅😅 then one subject that was ungoogleable, I did fail. god now I feel bad about how terrible a student I am

it’s so nice to see dream being on streams and having fun and interacting with other people !! it sucks cause I would absolutely LOVE to see dream on ppsat but I hate the idea of toxic people that would find reasons to shit on them :// like with gartic phone the other day. I felt like so toxic when the twitter updates account tweeted that dream was there cause I knew the “twitter stans” were coming. and I don’t even have a terribly negative view of stans as a whole. and then turns out it was justified and then I felt even worse. the gumi stuff pissed me off too. feeling a bit bad for dream tho. mans can’t even play with his friends without them getting attacked. I clicked on the links in your subtitle/heading/whatever it’s called when I first followed you like 6 or so months ago. was pretty funny

damnnn you’re doing all of those?? that’s tough. I dropped language (french) in yr 10 and decided to never touch maths again after I finished highschool and I loweky like maths too. oh I will 100% be telling people to touch grass that is so funny. I also can’t say anything about the nerd thing cause I just fully had the thought “what if I write an essay on the internet and it’s effect on language development”

Yes!! please tales!! where is it!! my weekly dose of happiness. I remember the last tales stream I watched like it was yesterday😪 I miss the ____ my beloved gifs that would be everywhere everytime a new character was introduced. I may have very little clue about any of the in between/the other side lore but damn were the builds insanely good. I was watching tubbo’s stream too and he said there wasn’t anything to do on the dream smp and like true ig but🥲🥲 he also said he’s been thinking about lore on twitter tho!!! so there is that !! hmm yeah I do wonder what they’re waiting for actually cause it’s been genuinely so long that c!dream’s been in the prison for. I wanna why it’s so important cause cc!dream and cc!sam put a lot of emphasis on it. and I just really really want to see what c!dream will be like out of the prison. for so many reasons

oh nooo ripppp. that’s kinda funny tho. the video was so short that was funny too. sapnap and george 2000iq moment nice. it was a nice vid tho, chill and enjoyable. so much dream content recently I feel like he’s about to drop off the face of the earth or miraculously stream something (highly unlikely but I can hope)

When streamers runs ads you gey a warning! But when vods do it it’s just a hey haha fuck you! You’re 100% right about twitch jeff bezo wouldn’t let any thing go to waste. He’s not the ceo right now but I hate him anyways. I’ve never actually used prime sub because I don’t have amazon prime, but I’ve been gifted subs a couple of times which was neat!

You know I may not be the best student but as someone who has cried a lot because of school I think it’s morally correct to be a bad student Cheat!! You’re paying then money they owe your ass so fucking much!! Abuse their resources stick it to the man. No time in life for guilt especially considering that universities are just corporations anyways they made hide behind the guise of learning but I’m calling them out no way knowledge gotta cost this much

I also love seeing dream stream with his other friends! To badly quote scott smajor, the dream team is made up of anti social sweaty fucks (affectionate). He’s always so awkward at first and ngl? Huge confidence booster /j/j. Logically I understand that twitter update accounts are useful, but I think they should all collectively take a break for a minute. Would it change anything? No. But it would make a lot of people very unhappy. I don’t even know what to do about toxic twitter stans because like, content creators and us can call them out and not at all condone their actions but we can’f actually do anything about it? It’s super frustrating. And I feel like a hypocrite too because if dream does stuff with a cc I hate I bitch about it too I just don’t have as far a reach. Like I for sure threw a whole fit when dream went on to kaceytron’s stream. Actually I tend to get upset when he goes onto streams with people who actively hate him. So I struggle with that because despite feeling like I’m justified in doing that, twitter stans feel justified in their stuff too. You could argue that it’s different because the chance that the ccs will see it is near 0 but it’s still the same behavior isn’t it? For sure not saying twitter stans are right, they piss me off how dare they say shit about gumi, but also I worry that I act similar you know?

I’m glad is was amusing I haven’t gotten any angry anons so I can never tell if the links are working or not

Listen listen it’s less that I chose this and more that they’re requirements. Spanish is a req, but I’ve always really liked spanish? I’ve found with learning languages I have to be interested in the lanrguage’s history/culture. So french makes me mad but spanish makes me feel cozy and I like it! I pick up spanish pretty fast too and I’d like to be actually fluent in it some day. Language as a whole is super interesting. Also the internet has made language even more interesting with widespread similarities and what not

Listen I would agree more with tubbo but instead Imm going to lighheartedly call him a coward who’s afraid of surprise lore! He said he would be there more often if other people logged on more often but I know for a fact other people feel the same and by him not regularly logging on he’s adding to it! I think foolish, ponk, puffy, and bbh have really upped my standards for lore. They log on at least once a week and make their own plot. Like bro if you’re bored start some shit tommy style! Personally I would make enemies with all the beets people. Tubbo has such cool lore I just wish he was willing to be a little more spontaneous. He was tired last night though so I can see his boredom beinf effected by that. I really really enjoyed bear smp those guys were so fucking funny and I will be watching more of them. Need to catch up on hermitcraft too

Who’s to say he can’t drop off the face of the planet and stream? He can multitask. Also hems been big on reddit recently so we’ll see where that leads ajddj

[charredbrie]

Kurobas Valentine’s Day Event 2020 Day 3: MidoTaka

Special thanks again to @vanilla-daydreams and @theuglycrybaby <3 

Day 3: MidoTaka - Flowers/You’re beautiful, you know that?

Summary: Shin-chan is being very difficult these past few days and Takao is getting frustrated.

Title: Valentines’ Language

Rating: T for cursing

Also on Ao3

“Shin-chaaaaan~”

Kazunari calls on the tall boy walking way ahead in front of him as he tries his best to catch up with his steps in comparison to Shin-chan’s long strides. Most of the time, it is a curse for being shorter than Shin-chan especially when he looks down on him. It is alright if it’s a normal stare. However, most of the time, Shin-chan will just stare down at him as if saying if looks can kill, he’d be six feet underground by now. He shudders at the thought. No, he doesn’t want to die yet. There’s no way in hell he’ll die before he can do all his wildest fantasies to Shin-chan.

He'd been wracking his brain real hard on how to get Shin-chan’s sweet yet dangerous yes for a date without him really knowing that it is actually a date. But as you can see, the boy is just ignoring him. This has been going on for a few days now. He dashes towards him and settles on walking beside the tall boy and says, “Shin-chan, are you getting deaf now? I’ve been calling you for a while now. Maybe Oha Asa will think of giving Cancers a hearing aid as a lucky item.”

He heard his companion just sighs heavily before speaking, “What do you need, Takao?”

He grins happily, already feeling like winning as he can see that Shin-chan’s guarded walls are disappearing little by little. “I just wanna hang out with you this Friday! We don’t have any basketball practice because the third years are using the gym for their grade meeting.”

Shin-chan pushes his glasses with his left fingers before he halts his steps and looks at him.

“Don’t you have something to do on Friday, in fact?”

Now he’s confused. Why is Shin-chan saying that?

“Why would you think that?”

Shin-chan just brushes him off as he continues walking but not before saying, “I’m going to practice.” Now, he is so confused. What the fuck is wrong with this tsundere and why is he acting cold? He snaps out of his thoughts as he chases after the guy and holds his arm to stop him further from walking.

“What the hell is your problem, Shin-chan?! Why are you being so cold?”

The taller guy just hisses dangerously. “Let go of my arm, Takao.”

“No. Not until you tell me what the fuck is going on to that green head of yours.”

“Shut up, fool.”

Instead of letting him go, Takao just pulls the taller boy in an empty room that happens to be the music room. However, the taller guy is resisting so strongly that Kazunari feels like his strength is slipping away so fast. He looks at Shin-chan with a pouting face and says, “Just stop resisting and tell me what is your problem. Is it because I didn’t give you a ride on the rickshaw this morning?”

Shin-chan avoids meeting his gaze for a while until he speaks, “No, something as shallow as that is not my cup of tea, in fact. I am very well capable of going to school by myself.”

Kazunari is getting frustrated by each moment. Why can’t this guy just be honest with his feelings? He then hears Shin-chan sighs as he walks towards the grand piano and starts playing. At first, Kazunari becomes bewildered why the sudden urge to play the piano but as he is listening to the melody, a thought has hit him.

Shin-chan is playing the Love Theme for Romeo and Juliet - A Time for Us. He knows that piece, their class just recently watch a play of Romeo and Juliet in the audiovisual room. Suddenly, he gets pulled into the melody and moves closer by the grand piano. What he doesn’t notice is the fact that Shin-chan is looking at him all the while. Being himself, he just doesn’t turn down a challenge and has decided to meet his eyes as well. However, in Kazunari’s case, he’s being pulled into Shin-chan’s wholeness as a person plus add the fact that he’s playing this really beautiful and emotional melody. On the spur of a moment, he feels like he opens the magnificent door of shoujo manga and Shin-chan is waiting for him in the middle of the room as he is playing the piano. He doesn’t know whether to cringe or to be happy with his thoughts because, in the first place, he is a guy. The only hitch is that he chooses to fall in love with an enigma called Midorima Shintarou.

He gazes lovingly on his face especially his eyes that are surrounded with long lashes but are always covered by his thick-rimmed glasses. Beautiful, he thinks.

They stay like that until Shin-chan finishes the piece. And him being the loudmouth as he is, he unintentionally mutters.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?”

He wakes up from his shoujo blither fantasy when he hears the creaking of the chair as Shin-chan abruptly stands up and his face is so red. Kazunari panics a bit, afraid that the taller boy might brush him off again because of his comment.

He looks down on the ground, afraid of meeting the taller boy’s eyes. “S-Shin-chan…”

He hears him groans painfully as if he is really having a hard time speaking to him. In the end, he hears him takes a deep breath and says,

“You have a girlfriend now, right?”

Kazunari shots his head up as fast as lightning to look at Shin-chan. And at that moment, he finally gets what seems to be Shin-chan’s problem. He can’t help but laugh out loud as the taller boy becomes beet red as he puts his left hand on his face, attempting to cover the redness but he can see that even his ears are getting red so it is a very futile attempt. He clutches his stomach to laugh some more until Shin-chan can’t take it anymore.

“Y-You imbecile! Stop laughing.”

“Hahahahaha….hah…Sh-Shin-chan…HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

He can already feel his eyes getting wet because of laughing too much but he urges himself to stop. When his laughter has died down, he faces the guy.

“Shin-chan…sometimes you can be stupid you know?”

“W-what?!”

“Is the one you’re getting jealous-“

“I’m not jealous!!!”

“…of, is our classmate, Ichinose-san?” He waits for Shin-chan to say anything but it feels that he is just rooted there, unable to retort. He will accept any response even if it’s a first-rate sarcasm. Anything…as long as it comes from him. They stay there for a whole minute without saying anything and he is already accepting the fact that he won’t even get any response as he lumps his shoulders, his face full of bitterness. But he gets the shock of his life when he hears Shin-chan’s silent murmurs of, “Y-Yeah…in fact.”

The moment he hears that he glomps on him much to the dismay of the taller boy but nonetheless, awkwardly returns the hug. He looks up at Shin-chan, still not letting him go and slyly says, “You know, it’s not bad to be honest sometimes, Shin-chan. Also, with regards to Ichinose-san, her brother is working at a company that is making the games that I’m currently playing so I am just asking her some stuff.”

“S-Shut up, Takao. I didn’t ask for any explanation. This is all your fault.”

“Don’t worry, Shin-chan, you can execute all your hidden fantasies with me as much as you want, I won’t mind, really.” He chirps happily as the taller boy smacks him playfully on his head.

“You are getting deranged, in fact.”

He smugly says, “No, you just silently admitted that you like me when you conceded being jealous.”

Shin-chan just emits a long, sufferable sigh. “You haven’t even asked me ou-“

They are suddenly interrupted when the music room door suddenly opens to reveal Miyaji, Kimura, and Otsubo. Both of them haven’t had the time to move out of each other’s embrace as they are rooted in their position in shock as their senpais enter the room.

“Oi, first years! Stop flirting and get to practice!” Miyaji-senpai yells at them and that is the only time that they jerk away from each other, both of them red on the face.

Kimura-senpai just looks at them with confusion while Otsubo-senpai just groans in frustration while nursing his head for a coming headache.

“Fucking first years.” - Miyaji Kiyoshi

Omake

Valentine’s Day comes and Kazunari is frustrated as fuck because of the fact he and Shin-chan haven’t finished their conversation yet with regards to their status. No thanks to their senpais, of course. And now, he is walking on the way to Shin-chan’s house to pick him up. Yes, he is walking because he doesn’t feel like pulling the rickshaw today. He doesn’t want Shin-chan to see him all sweaty this early morning, duh,  just because today is v-day. His thoughts are interrupted as he sees an elderly lady about to cross the street and she is carrying a big picnic basket. Deciding to help her, he trudges closer and approaches the elderly and it earns him a smile and a pat on his head. Together, they cross the street with him supporting her and as thanks, the lady takes out something from the basket and gives him a handful of white little flowers that he doesn’t know the name. Smiling at the gesture, he continues on his way until he reaches the Midorima’s residence. Upon arriving there, Shin-chan is already outside, leaning by the wall and when the taller boy sees approaching him, his eyes widen not entirely on him but on what he is holding.

“Morning, Shin-chan!”

“Takao….those flowers. How did you get them?”

“Huh? Oh, this?”

“Did you know that Baby’s Breath is Cancer’s lucky item for today?”

He shakes his head as he looks at the flowers that he’s holding then to Shin-chan. He holds out the flowers for him to take but he sees that the other boy is quite hesitant. He scratches his head on confusion, “Just take it, Shin-chan.”

The taller boy blushes but he is still not getting the flowers from his hand.

“Do you even know what Baby’s Breath flowers mean?”

“No. I’m not into floral language.”

A small smile appears on Shin-chan’s face as he takes the flowers from his hand and starts walking ahead of him then halts when he is a few steps away, his back still facing him while he is still rooted in his place.

“It means pureness, innocence and….everlasting love. You just confessed to me through this flower, Takao.”

Kazunari just blinks as his brain processed what Shin-chan has said. When his brain has finally registered it, he goes after the boy in pure bliss as he pulls the taller boy’s head down to him and gives him a quick peck on the lips. “Shin-chaaaan~ I love you~”

Too startled by his sudden vulgar action in Shin-chan’s vocabulary to even move, the taller boy just can’t do anything but blush.

NOTE: I tried doing MidoTaka. Not really my cup of tea but I feel that this prompt is perfect for them. Also, please excuse my poor attempt of cheesy situations and humor.

Thanks for reading <3

[tcswritings]

TEXT MESSAGES, pt. 4.

Family matters are serious matters. Just a little thing, because my favourite Elsa in the world prompted it.

***

Sarah has created the group “ChaCha 70 years″.

Sarah has added you to the group.

Sarah has added Orla to the group.

Sarah has added Sean to the group.

Sarah has added Kieran to the group.

Sarah has added Declan to the group.

6:31 - Sarah: Does this work

6:31 - Sarah: HELLO

6:32 - Orla: HOLY FUCK MA YOU MADE A GROUP ALL BY YOURSELF 😱 😱 😱 

6:33 - Orla: I’M SO PROUD?????

6:34 - Declan: YES MA IT WORKS. NO NEED TO SHOUT

6:34 - Declan: Wait what NO. Nooooo is it time again???? NO FUCK NO NO NO NO.

6:35 - Orla: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA IT’S CHACHA TIME

6:35 - Declan: 😫 😫 😫

6:35 - Charlie: What is a “ChaCha”?

6:35 - Declan: I’M NOT GOING I WENT LAST YEAR 😫

6:36 - Orla: You did NOT, I went last year. 😶 😶

6:36 - Declan: Are you BRAINDEAD?! I went last year and I’m NOT GOING AGAIN

Kieran has left the group.

6:37 - Sarah: At least one of you will be going, I am not having this discussion

6:37 - Declan: NO KIERAN COME BACK YOU CAN’T JUST LEAVE AS YOU PLEASE

6:38 - Sarah: //Charlie: What is a “ChaCha”? // Our DEAR family friend Helen hosts her annual gathering and my kids are always being little shits about it

6:38 - Charlie: ??? Who is Helen? 😂 

6:39 - Orla: // Charlie: ??? Who is Helen? 😂 // Helen calls herself ChaCha. Don’t bother asking, no one knows why. Tell Kieran to come back, he doesn’t get to just LEAVE, we’re all in this together. NO ONE GETS OUT

6:40 - Sarah: Helen is going to be 70 years old, this is a special one. The gathering is on November 14th

Sarah has added Kieran to the group.

6:41 - Sarah: Not all of us have to go but I am taking at least one of you with me and we’re gonna discuss this like adults

6:42 - Charlie: November 15th is my due date. 😅 I’m afraid I won’t be able to go but thanks for the invitation. Probably means I’m a full family member now.

6:43 - Kieran: oh no my wifes due date, how unfortunate

Kieran has left the group.

6:43 - Declan: //Charlie: The 15th is my due date. 😅 I’m afraid...// That’s NO EXCUSE AT ALL!? Let him pop out at the party WHATEVER people will have something to talk then

6:45 - Sarah: //Charlie: The 15th is my due date. 😅 I’m afraid...// I obsiously didn’t think of that my dear. Of course you won’t be going then

6:46 - Declan: WHAT

6:46 - Declan: 😶

6:46 - Declan: THIS IS UNFAIR!?

6:47 - Charlie: 😂 

6:47 - Sarah: You can leave the group if you want dear

6:47 - Declan: STUPID PREGNANCY BONUS FUCK THIS

6:48 - Charlie: There’s no way I’m missing this. 😂

6:48 - Declan: full family member MY ARSE CHARLOTTE. you gotta suffer like ALL of us, you don’t get to pick the fun shit only?!?!

6:48 - Charlie: How is the long and painful process of giving birth to a new heir FUN?!

6:49 - Declan: BETTER THAN CHACHA

6:49 - Orla: OMG we can dress up Sam and Rory as us?! Like Declan and me???? Sam’s tall enough at this point 😂 

6:49 - Declan: AAAH THAT IS GENIUS?!!?

6:49 - Orla: We gotta stuff Rory out a bit and say I got a haircut 😂

6:49 - Declan: LOL as if Chacha will notice 😂

6:49 - Declan: She’s gonna be 70, her eyesight has probably gone to shit anyway

6:50 - Sarah: 😡 

6:50 - Orla: Ooooooh 👀

6:50 - Declan: oh OOOOOH 👀 ma is MAD 👀

6:50 - Orla: SO MAD SHE USED AN EMOJI 👀 

6:51 - Declan: SHIT IS SERIOUS 👀 

6:51 - Sarah: Listen you two if you don’t stop this I’m taking you BOTH with me

6:52 - Orla: TAKE KIERAN WITH YOU he never goes

6:52 - Declan: yeah he always gets to bail

6:53 - Charlie: I want him to be around when I could give birth any day???? Like, sorry, but he’s kind of involved in the baby thing. 😅 😂

6:53 - Declan: you don’t get your damn kid bonus CHARLOTTE. I have kid too

6:55 - Sarah: // Declan: you don’t get your damn kid bonus...// You would be excused if your 6 year old sons due date was ChaChas gathering oh poor tormented son of mine. Don’t you imply that I treat you all differently

6:55 - Declan: I’M BUSY

6:56 - Orla: What could you possibly be busy with 😒 😒 

6:56 - Declan: I’m out of town. Joined a travelling circus

6:56 - Orla: When 😒 And as WHAT 😂

6:57 - Sean: // Orla: When 😒 And as WHAT 😂 // An overgrown monkey I assume

6:57 - Declan: OH SO FUCKING FUNNY DAD

6:57 - Sean: Thanks son, I think so too. 😂 

6:58 - Sarah: I don’t understand why we can’t just discuss this like a normal family this is ridiculous. You all act like I want to lead you right like pigs to slaughter

6:58 - Orla: ChaChas gatherings ARE slaughter??? Did you forget about that one time when her silly other friend say that I gained so much weight since last year??? YEAH THANK YOU OLD BITCH I DIDN’T NOTICE AT ALL

6:59 - Orla: OH or that OTHER other silly friend who always asks me when I plan to get married already because TICK TOCK TICK TOCK?!?!? YEAH RUB IT IN ARSEHOLE

7:00 - Declan: Yeah, and then I go off and DO make that damn kid they all wanted so bad and THAT WASN’T GOOD EITHER 🙄

7:00 - Orla: WHATEVER WE DO, WE DO IT WroNg MA. THOSE GATHERINGS ARE WAR.

7:02 - Sarah: Oh come on you are sure above a bit of silly gossip

7:02 - Orla: NO I’M NOT. Not when mean old hags are involved

7:03 - Declan: take Mick, he’s good at that shit

7:03 - Declan: sometimes I think you love him more than us anyway

7:03 - Sarah: Right now I kind of do.

7:04 - Orla: 😨 😨 😨 LOW BLOW MOTHER

7:04 - Declan: I KNEW IT. I was just joking but OMG I KNEW IT.

7:05 - Orla: I QUIT

7:06 - Sarah: // Orla: I QUIT // You quit being my kid? 😂 

7:06 - Orla: YES

7:06 - Declan: ME TOO. go and claim your stupid gorgeous angel faced blonde substitute son

7:07 - Orla: HE’S GONNA LOVE IT

7:07 - Sarah: You know. As you can’t act like the adults you are I’m gonna act childish too

7:08 - Sarah: Taking Michael would be nice for me but he’s married and has his life in order so he doesn’t provide a whole lot of gossip ground

7:08 - Orla: ANOTHER LOW BLOW, PERSON-WHO-USED-TO-BE-MY-MOTHER  😨

7:08 - Declan: 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂  ���Mick” and “life in order” in one sentence I CANNOT

7:09 - Sean: Just settle this already, you’re always making this so much harder than it has to be.

7:09 - Orla: I am not going.

7:09 - Declan: ME NEITHER I WENT LAST YEAR

7:10 - Orla: I WENT LAST YEAR. You had crazy shit going on last year at the time, I went FOR YOU. I took one for the twin team FOR YOU.

7:10 - Declan: then you certainly don’t mind going again I assume 😂

7:11 - Sean: Orla Deirdre and Declan Cathal O’Connell, you are going to figure this out in the next five minutes.

7:11 - Orla: Our full names are so much less intimidating as texts dad 😂 😂 😂

7:12 - Orla: // Declan: then you certainly don’t mind going again...// YES I DO. It’s your turn!!

7:12 - Orla: they’re gonna have MERCY with you

7:12 - Orla: I’m still unmarried and childless, would be the same shit all over again

7:12 - Orla: It would be the FAIR thing to do DECLAN.

7:13 - Sean: She has a point. It’s your turn. You know Orla went last year.

7:13 - Declan: NO 😣 I REFUSE

7:13 - Declan: travelling circus

7:14 - Sean: They can give you a day off, I’m sure.

7:14 - Declan: NO 😣

7:15 - Sean: Declan!!

7:15 - Declan: OKAY 😣 

7:15 - Declan: FUCK THIS FUCK CHACHA FUCK MY LIFE

7:16 - Sarah: Attaboy.

7:16 - Sean: I’m glad this wasn’t incredibly dramatic at all again.

7:18 - Sarah: We’re gonna discuss the details later. Make sure you get a suit that fits my dear son.

7:18 - Declan: 🖕  🖕

7:20 - Sarah: I saw that

7:20 - Declan: AS YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO

... I’m sorry, they’re a mess. xD

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Spider-Man: Life Story #4 Thoughts Part 3: Pathetic Parker

Aaaaaaand finally....let us discuss you know Peter Parker.

Or the stand in for him in this mess of a mini-series.

Positives should be gotten out of the way first. I like the new Spider-Suit’s look. I’ve liked all the suits’ looks so far.

Okay cool we’re done now with positives.

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo...Peter is dating Jessica Drew huh.

Hahahahahahaha....fuck off.

Jessica Drew technically speaking existed in the 1960s but only because Bendis picked a random girl from a Ditko issue and decided he would make her his new original character (who was a rewritten Jessica Drew stand in...) Jessica Jones...which happened in the 2000s.

Remember how I said the Stark thing was remixing stuff from the 2000s and how this probably references the Ultimate Clone Saga?

Well between that stuff, the inclusion of Parker Industries, a obvious reference to Slott’s ‘No One Dies’ buzz word, and now Jessica Jones Zdarsky has entirely collapsed the ONE consistent thing about his writing in this series.

You can read my past posts on this series for more detail, but in a nutshell, this series is utterly convoluted in it’s premise and confused in what it wants to be.

However the ONE utterly consistent thing about it was the fact that it remixes elements from Spidey stories that happened in the decade each issue was covering.

Until now.

Now in fairness Parker Industries was a 2010s thing that debuted in the 1980s. I let that one slide a bit because I guess the idea was if Peter age 30 had money and time he could have a company by age 37 which would be in the 80s. Okay I guess.

But with all that other stuff...this issue isn’t remixing 90s stuff it’s remixing 90s and post-90s stuff so what the fuck is the conceit of the story again?

It’s anything Zdarsky wants whilst mostly remixing stuff from every decade per issue oh and Spider-Man ages in real time I guess and mentions various wars.

I (and others) have talked about how this series is fanficion. A time honoured tradition of fanfiction is the wacky indulgent ships that occur.

In professional works though these are best avoided, see MockingSpider.

That’s what Jessica Jones and Spider-Man being a couple is. Yeah she had a crush on him in high school.

Now tell me anything else that’d serve as a basis for their relationship instead of her being with Luke?

How the fuck did this even happen? At least with Peter and MJ you have canon as a roadmap. In this series...nothing. Peter and Jessica just hooked up somehow in the last 11 years!

What’s so insultingly asinine about this ship is that it emphasis another person who is conspicuous via her absence.

So...where the fuck is Felicia!

I know that the important life events of Spider-Man can be debated up to a point.

That point doesn’t cover though whether Black Cat is relevant of a mention or not across his ‘life story’.

No shit of course she is!

But she wasn’t mentioned in the 1970s when she debuted. She wasn’t mentioned in the 1980s when she became a regular. She wasn’t mentioned in the 1990s.

Surely in a world where Spider-Man’s marriage to MJ falls apart and he’s dating a private eye that should be fucking Black Cat not a character who wasn’t even invented until 10 years later! I mean c’mon Black Cat BECAME a private eye in the 1990s!

And wouldn’t that have been way more dramatic too?

In the 1980s instead of Peter being allegedly addicted to a costume or neglecting his family to clean up radiation or asking his wife to kill him if he turned into a brain munching alien the root of their break up involved his affection for Felicia?

I mean c’mon the symbiote was framed as a response to a mid-life crisis, a sexy platinum blonde who actually wants to hook up with Spidey not Peter isn’t prime real estate for a story about a superhero’s mid life crisis? Even the Incredibles did that!

And wouldn’t that have been more worthy of drama in this issue than literally 2 panels of Jessica Jones establishing they’re shagging but also he’s neglectful and she dumped him. I mean at that point you might as well have just had her be a private eye he hired and dropped the romance completely it served no purpose at all.

One aspect of the story that I will praise Zdarsky for even if I think he got it right by accident is that without his family Peter couldn’t keep on going as Spider-Man.

MJ, May, etc, they keep him together, he needs people, he’d fall apart without them.

Running out of gas as he did in this story could be seen as a reflection of that depending on future issues. Or it could just be he’s old and tired and don’t you know all superheroes would feel that way at age 48.

Too bad that seems rather at odds with issue #3 where he was a neglectful jerk.

Another problem inherited from issue #3 was the issue of Peter’s diminished prowess in his old age.

Remember how he wanted the symbiote to stay ‘relevant’ because he was slowing down.

Okay so it’s been 11 years later, he’s held onto Parker Industries and...he’s just accepted he’s gotten slower and weaker.

Remember how issue #3 implied he had a nano-weld suit.

Okay so he’s had 11 years to improve on that tech and...he hasn’t.

In fact his current outfit looks less high tech even.

Now brace yourselves because I’m about to do something nuts and call upon Dan Slott continuity as reference material.

In Slott’s run Peter with HORIZON labs and Parker Industries tech was able to whip up a variety of costumes for himself. These included nanotech.

In fact his MAIN suit in ASM volume 4 was nanotech armour that came complete with all sorts of gadgets.

Are you telling me that a Peter Parker with even greater years of scientific knowledge and experience, with even more time and resources, across 11+ years NEVER made technology like that?

He NEVER invented tech that could offset his diminished powers?

Seriously?

IRON MAN had strength enhancing armour in the 1960s and that technology got illegally distributed to countless people, hence we got Armor Wars. Even that aside there is countless inferior technology that could increase strength, speed, agility, etc, let alone protect from knock out gas.

But Peter in LF is such a jackass he...never employed this. He never considered this. He just let himself grow weaker and more vulnerable?

Either he’s stupid or he’s a sellout on Ben and May’s morals of responsibility because he had a death wish hence he never upgraded.

I mean Jesus Christ the Hobgoblin found a way to make the Goblin serum SAFE. Peter couldn’t investigate that avenue as a way to spike his power levels? Friggin Norman Osborn was in his 40s when he got the formula and it made him almost on par with Spider-Man.

It gets even stupider when you consider Peter hands over his mantle to Ben Reilly.

Ben is physically the same goddam age as Peter. In fact considering he clearly doesn’t crime fight as much as Peter does or else ‘Red Mask’ would be more famous, Peter if anything would be in better shape. So Peter is giving the mantle of Spidey to a less experienced, weaker 48 year old man who’s ALSO got diminished strength and speed.

But it gets worse.

He doesn’t just hand the mantle of Spidey to Ben. He hands Parker Industries over to him. You’d think this is a case of him passing it on to his relative Ben Reilly right?

Nope.

He wants Ben to...literally become him.

Peter wants Ben to literally pose as him forevermore and run his company.

This is the most gamebreakingly stupid thing in the entire issue.

Ben having Peter’s notes doesn’t mean he’ll be able to pose as Peter.

He doesn’t know the in jokes Peter has with people. He has 0 experience of running a big company.

He has less scientific knowledge and experience.

He will be way worse in business negotiations because he hasn’t got the measure of people.

And he’ll be seriously stressed out because unlike Peter who just knows this stuff Ben will have to study for a lifelong performance as Peter Parker every moment of every day.

Not to mention is no one going to notice the sudden disappearance of Ben Reilly?

Didn’t he have friends or colleagues of his own like Lori from the start of the issue?

Peter starts the comic determined to not allow Parker Industries to fall into the hands of the war profiteer Tony Stark but by unloading his entire company onto Ben Reilly he’s placed it in a hugely vulnerable position that makes it MORE likely that it will be absorbed into Stark International.

Oh and of course there the teeny tiny problem of PETER AND BEN NOT LOOKING ALIKE!

Now realistically Peter and Ben Reilly, having lived such different lives, would look similar yet different, like identical twins. Identical twins might look the same at age 1 but they really wouldn’t at age 30 if one of them was a desk jockey and the other was a soldier.

But you know artistic licence and suspension of disbelief can bypass that.

What cannot be bypassed is when Mark Bagley is drawing both characters on the same page in the same panel and you can tell that they clearly look different to one another. Their faces, hair colour and hair styles are not the same.

Did Peter’s notes include the correct shade to dye his hair too?

But the biggest aspect of this which is betrayal pornoigraphy for Peter’s character is between handing over the reigns of Spidey and P.I. to Ben...how...the...Hell...is...that...at.all...responsible?

He claims that he can’t give up his responsibility but he can ‘shift it to where it matters’.

What a crock of shit. That’s some lame ass lawyer talk for giving up and letting someone else do your job for you.

In the 90s Clone Saga Peter’s retirement was justified. He had impending parenthood as a responsibility and he and his wife had nearly broken in recent months. In Spider-Girl he got his leg blown off and had a 2 year old child to care for.

In this? His ex-wife and children are doing just fine without him as far as we know but the city still needs Spidey and P.I. still needs Peter Parker.

So no, retirement under these circumstances is irresponsible and utterly unjustified.

Not to mention wouldn’t BOTH Peter and Ben being heroes be more responsible? Or at least have Ben take over hero work and Peter runs P.I., possibly training Ben up.

There is also this bullshit that because Peter is so loud and public Ben could never live up to his potential.

I’m sorry but what is it with the Spider-Man fandom’s obsession with the idea that success = owning your own business.

As if that is the one and only way Peter or Ben could fulfil their scientific potential. Why not work for Reed?

Why not work with a Think Tank?

Why not start up a company in a different country and establish that Ben is indeed Peter’s relative. He already had his last name in issue #2!

Hell the argument that if they both started up companies and 2 Spider Heroes showed up it’d raise questions doesn’t consider the ideas that:

a)      Ben could WORK for Parker Industries, thereby allowing Peter to be in the lab as he wants or Ben handle the lab work

b)      They could SHARE the Spider-Man identity, which if anything would help maintain their secrecy

 Finally this issue (and the last one) on the recap page and at the end of the story pushes some toxic, dated, bullshit narratives regarding MJ:

a)      That it was grief alone that hooked up Peter and MJ

b)      MJ is Peter’s Plan B

c)       Peter cannot be married/have kids and be Spidey

d)      MJ wouldn’t stay with him if he’s Spider-Man, hence he only regains his family by retiring from Spidey

 I’ve seen an assessment of this story that argues that issue #3 as the halfway point was the low point from which the character will gradually fight back.

In a sense issue #4 goes along with this idea. Peter is at his lowest in issue #3 and his happier by the end of issue #4.

But the narrative structure of this series, wherein each issue is a snap shot of his life in each decade leads me to think that we’re unlikely to have 2 more issues of ending on gradually happier and happier notes.

Rather I think this issue is giving a pretence of happiness before it comes crashing down next issue and then in issue #6 we will get our happy ending or a bittersweet exit.

Regardless writing these long ass posts has actually soured me even more on the issue.

It’s another shit show I’m afraid.

P.S. The solicit read:

“THE REAL-TIME LIFE STORY OF SPIDER-MAN CONTINUES! Spider-Man’s life enters the 1990s! The COLD WAR is no longer cold as PETER PARKER returns to a world gone MAD! But will he let that madness infect HIM and his family?”

Where the fuck was any of that in this story?

Peter didn’t have a family, Peter didn’t return from anything, and the only madness to be found was in Ben and Otto.

[vinjaryou]

so the last day and a half has been... well, a thing. it’s been trying my patience and anxiety, that’s for sure. so let’s start with last night:

last night was the courthouse holiday party; we went to tsukasa of tokyo, which was super nice, and everyone was able to make it. we had two tables, and two chefs for our group, and after the insanity of the day itself (we had four municipalities in the morning, two in the afternoon, and our 9 AM call was 350 cases by itself), it was a nice way to just chill out with the group and not have to talk work all the time.

but while dayna - the backup clerk and p much my work bff - was discussing some of the more colorful cases and defendants of the day, i was talking with amanda when i overheard dayna refer to a pair of female defendants as “a couple of dykes,” go on to describe them, and chuckle about it.

...that was a thing that made me feel like shit, and oh so glad that no one at the courthouse knows i’m not straight, because hahahahahahaha.

so that was a thing, and it put me in a crappy mood for the rest of the night, which is why i just sorta lurked around the internets before passing out on my couch and going to bed at 2 AM.

then there’s today. i decide “hey, i know cookie baking is supposed to be at some point today, maybe i’ll get some christmas shopping done before i’m told to head over.” 

proceed to get breakfast (no biggie), then walk the mall for a bit, where it’s already too crowded to do anything - mind you, it’s only 10 AM - proceed to nearly have one anxiety attack at a small store and walk outside a bit for fresh air and to get my bearings back, and then head inside again.

decide “oh let’s hit up the B3 here, since it’s an okay one for me, and i can get my aunt heather something since i got her in the grab bag.” go inside, pick up both items i wanted to get for her, and get in line.

i’m next in line, and there’s a holdup because the guy before me is trying to use a visa gift card. cashier has to call a manager over.

said manager is one of the managers who harassed me at the B3 i worked at; specifically, the one who thought it would be HILARIOUS to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder, and refuse to put me down until i threatened to scream - all during store hours.

proceed to total panic/anxiety attack levels; my heart’s pounding, i’m flushed and nervous while muttering “no no no no, get the fuck out of here,” tearing up, and looking all over the place for an open door or exit of some sort, praying the whole time he doesn’t see me. if he had, i was gone. just putting my stuff on a shelf and booking it; i hate doing that to workers (not putting stuff back in the right place), but at that moment, I was in full GTFO mode.

he didn’t see me. just did the key turn, got the card working, and walked off.

wiped my eyes after the transaction was done, got mine done and over with, and walked out as fast as i could. no way in hell was i sticking around in case he turned a corner and did see me.

and thank fuck i hadn’t gotten lunch beforehand, because i probably would’ve thrown up.

came home to drop some things off and check FB, since i hadn’t heard from the aunt whose house baking was being done at... and see that they’re already in full swing.

...thanks for not telling me.

mom called then, so i talked to her for a bit, as she’s in north carolina for work. hung up, cried a bit because the day’s been a shitfest already and it’s not even 2:30 yet, and go back out to do more shopping, because WHY THE FUCK NOT, MIGHT AS WELL GET AS MUCH DONE AS I CAN.

get a text from valery (baking house) at 5 telling me to come over tomorrow anytime after 10 AM for more baking stuff.

...okay then.

so now i am home. with about half of my shopping done, shocked my hair doesn’t have a white streak in it from anxiety overload, and hoping that i can get some semblance of sleep at some point tonight.

gonna wrap what i have done. try to write something. maybe game a bit. and then idk.

[let-them-eat-rakes]

RED REALITY (part 2)

…

…

[Dr. Scranton's voice is noticeably distorted now. Hypothesized to a combination of both him and the control panel finally showing signs of reality breakdown.]

Robert… cold. I can't… I can't feel my legs anymore. I think… I'm beginning to… Hitting that point I… talked about… Low Hume Field… Diffusion… Equilibrium… bunch of… stupid… garbage…

I don't know what's real in here any more. Hell, I'm not sure I'm real. Or… something… something close to it… If… If I really am going out like this, I… I… I don't want to die yet. I don't want to die yet. Oh, god I don't wanna die yet…

I ran up in one straight diagonal line, for six months. I went down in one… no I just went down again… for… eight. There's still no bottom, red, there's still no bottom.

What have you been up to, Red? Have you been listening for me all this time? You're a stubborn little guy, Red…

Lucy.

Huh, Red? Sorry, I must have fell asleep. What did you want? Oh… sorry, I-I'll try to remember…

Lucy. That's what we wanted to call our kid if we had one. Lucy Scranton, Lucy Lang, Anna and I both thought it would have a nice ring. I-I- No, Red, I… I don't remember picking out a boy's name…

"Good morning… good morni-i-ing. We've talked… the whole… through…"

Man, I really suck at tap-dancing. Can't feel my feet at all. Okay, you try then, Red.

Kejel's Law states that Hume Fields diffuse, Kejel's Law states that my balls will eventually fall off if this keeps up.

"Anna… Anna bo banna…" Heh, she hated that song, and I loved to tease her with it. "Anna… Anna bo banna banana… banana, banana canna…" It actually became a joke between us, did you know? We made it the words that turn you on. [Pause.] Come on, red, act your age, don't be immature. [Sighs.] Fine, guess you have a sense of humor after all, maybe!

Heheheh, we're gonna have to fuck with so much science when we get out, this place breaks apart rules like my hand is breaking right now.

Spiderwebs. My left hands. Spiderwebs.

There was a reality-bending spider at Site-120 once. I should crush it. Red, would you crush it for me when we get out?

Average ten, fifteen kilometers a day, plus a few breaks. Thirty, two, thirty, ten, no, eleven, no, no ten, I think. At least, three hundred left, and… and… shit no, was faster going down… Fuck it, I'm saying about six hundred kilometers down. Took a hell of a lot longer coming up.

Far down. Bottomless? Infinite? And beyond. Shut up, Robert, you're not funny.

Hume Field, boom field… breaking down at a rate of… shit, what's the constant of Modified Prommel Relations? Ten to the fourth? No, no… fifth… fifth, I think…

One year. Maybe add a few more months.

Red, how does David sound? David. You know, you asked about… yeah, yeah, that. Sorry I woke you…

My… my hands. I… my hands are going through each other… Red. Red! RED! Red, help, help, please, my hands, I can't feel my hands, they're going through each other like… like… they're like ice water, Red, I can't, oh god, oh god…

Huh… huh… huh… Red… You know… you know that… that stupid magic trick your uncle would show you where he'd pull his thumb off, but it was really just his other one tucked under?

I just did that. With my real thumb. It didn't even hurt, it just came off. I think… Oh, god I'm gonna be sick. I-I- [Sounds of retching.] I think… I think it's just floating right now, and I can't even pick it up, my hand just passes through it, oh god, oh god, I-I-

My left pinky feels like… an onion.

Yeah, it's separated.

NICE TRY HELL, ring's on the RIGHT hand, nice try left.

I can… go… right through myself… I can… feel inside me.

It feels… warm.

But also cold.

When I sleep… my hands go in my head. I'm sleeping on my back now.

Static. I'm like static on a TV.

Chhhk. Chhhhk. Chhhk.

Ha. Hahahaha. Hahahahahahaha. Well, I-I-I only need one kidney, right? RIGHT? RED, RED LOOK AT THIS! Haha. Hahahahahaha…

Let me keep my heart, just my heart, that's all I want.

Lucy. David. Are you there? I want to see you.

Lucy. David. That's not fair. Come on, hey, quit messing around, I was joking when I said that, I was joking. COME ON, THAT'S FUCKED UP, I WAS JOKING.

I'm a man, be a man, Robert, you're a man, WHAT THE FUCK.

Anna… Annaaaa…

Four years, six months, eighteen days.

I'm not… I'm not even doing it myself anymore. I can… feel it happening on its own… Finally. Finally, I can… I still can't say it… I'm… I'm still scared…

I… definitely won't eat anymore now…

Still really hungry.

That is fucking disgusting, Robert, and you know it. NO. SEE, RED THINKS SO TOO. NO.

This little piggie went to market.

This little piggie went… somewhere.

This little… foot. Foot… RED?!

Five years, 13 days.

Haha.

Hahahahahahaha

Hahahahahahahahahaha.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Five years, 14 days.

Five years, 15 days.

Five years, 15 days.

Five years, 15 days.

Five years, 15 days.

Five years, 15 days.

Five years, 15 days.

Five years, 15 days.

Stop it, you're hurting me.

Five years, 19 days.

I'm feeling better now, red, sorry.

How do you do it, red? Keep it together? Spill it out, I need some help here… I need some help…

Red. Come on. Don't do that. Don't go. I know it's hard. I know it's dark. But-but- it's dark and we're together still. Come on. Red. No. No. You-you can't. RED! Come on, buddy, stay with me, Red! Come on! I can still touch you! I CAN STILL TOUCH YOU LOOK AT ME RED YOU ARE NOT DYING YET NO RED NO!

[No audio is recorded for the next 9 months.]

Five years, nine months, two days.

…

Red?

Five years, nine months, three days.

Five years, nine months, three days.

Five years, nine months, three days.

Five years, nine months, three days.

Five years, nine months, three days.

Five years, nine months, three days.

Five years, nine months, three days.

Five years, nine months, three days.

[Automated message repeats 97 more times.]

You little shit, I thought you left me… [Dr. Scranton's voice is barely audible/coherent, as if through a heavily distorted, muted radio.]

…

Sorry to say, red, but… there's not much left here… I… it's been hard. I've… 184. I've tried to kill myself 184 times. It didn't work. …None of them worked. I'm… I don't even know how much there is of me anymore. At least one foot, because I can move. Probably a few leg muscles too, but I'm wobbly. Insides are… insides are shit. Still a heart, maybe a lung. This place… really won't let me stop… Tired…

I… did die, red. Come on red, don't look at me like, I don't want your pity and I don't want shock, or anger, or fear, or, or… I can't… When… 224, I miscounted…

One, two, three, four… [Dr. Scranton counts from one to 220-245 several times over for the next 13 hours.]

I died. I died, a lot. I tried to suffocate, I tried to snap my neck, I tried to bite myself apart. And… and… This place. It's not real. I left, I saw myself, on the ground and I couldn't— I couldn't— I couldn't go anywhere. I couldn't leave. There's no way to leave, I just floated back down, and each, damn, time, there was less and less of me. I-I- oh, god, how much more can I take away and still live?

So why are… why are you back now? What do you want to tell me?

Five years, nine months, twelve days.

Heh…

This place is getting smaller. Red, did you somehow do this? I… there's an end here for sure now. It's gone from… god knows how long to… There's like a veil further out and when I touched it hurt like hell. Red, what's going on?

It's… it's not dark. That border or whatever is getting brighter and, I mean, it's still fucking dark but… oh god, I can actually see something now. I…I… oh, god, what the fuck is this? I… oh, god, I didn't know I was this bad. Oh, god, oh god, oh god, there's so much gone—

Five years, ten months, ten days.

Red, you're solid. Like, no, you're really fucking solid. You're… you're real. And… and… I'm real too when… only when I touch you. But… Red, it… it really hurts when I do. I… I think that if I touch you I might fall apart…

You — really fucking hurt, Red, Jesus Christ, you hurt, what the fuck is going on?

About three kilometer in radius, and closing. Is this… is this something like Kejel's Fourth Law? But… but… what the hell is taking it? Hey! HEY! I'm in here still stop! You're causing a collapse! HEY! HEY!

Two kilometers. Oh god, what's gonna happen when it closes? DAMMIT, RED YOU HURT!

Not collapsing. Waves. They're… waves… What?

Robert, you are a goddamn genius. Not walls, windows. Open windows.

Five years, ten months, twenty-eight days.

Anna, Anna can you hear me? These waves… this place… Okay, imagine, two realities as two pieces of paper stuck together. This place is the space squished between. There should be only two realities, parallel, but this place is a tiny, but infinite third… third… in-between, like what would happen if you fell into a hole crossing a bridge from Point A to Point B! Remember Class-C Wormholes? Those theories about a wormhole that was full of goddamn holes. I think… I think this is where one of those holes leads. It doesn't lead to a different universe, it leads to nothing. A dead end. This place is a dead end. Class-C "Broken Entry".

These waves. Wherever they're coming from, they're from some parallel reality interacting with this place, displacing this in-between place every so slightly. And they're all… pushing on me and red, because since we still have some level of reality, they're pushing, or… or sucking us towards them, gradually creating a new wormhole towards… towards… home.

…

What's going to happen to me when I go back? When the window closes?

Think, dammit, Robert, think. You've got to think! Think harder! THINK HARDER!

Red, I'm gonna, ah, I'm gonna have to, Jesus- gah, I'm gonna have to move away from you, you, I don't know, you're sick or something, you're really messed up right now. Call me when you're feeling better.

…I can't… I can't think… right… Blood. Blood. There's… way… too much… ha…

Drip, drip, drip, where does it allllllll…. gooooooooooooo… [Retching noises.]

I haven't… [Retching noises.] tasted barf in forever. Not even when I threw up after my… my… you're a man, Robert.

Oh, god. Oh god not again, not again, not again— [Retching.]

…

[Voice breaks.] How…? How…? How can I be throwing up this much, red, tell me… I don't… [Retching.] I don't even have a stomach to hold it in anymore… And the bleeding never… stops… [Dr. Scranton breaks down into crying for the next two hours.]

Be- [Retching.] better… now. Thinking.. straight…

Red, I… I don't know if I'm ready to go back anywhere yet…

Five years, eleven months, three days.

No, red, I'm not being selfish, it wasn't you, it was these goddamn waves coming in. I can't be near them. Red, look, look at me. See this? Red, look at me. LOOK. I can't be near them, they'll kill me. I passed the three years quite a while back, remember?

Because, even… even after all this time… I don't want to die, red. I'm still scared. [Voice breaks.] Red, I am scared, okay? You wouldn't understand, you're not… you're not human, red.

Oh I'm sorry for offending you, red. No, red, come on, I didn't mean it like that. Red, look at me. You're my friend, do you get that? You are, my best friend. But… let's face it, you've got a much better chance of getting out of here a—…. Just leave me alone, please, red? Just for a bit… I'm sorry, okay? I really am…

Can you… hear the waves coming in, red? That little hum and shake as it hits your ears? I can. And it's getting louder every time, and it hurts so bad. [Begins to sob quietly.] It hurts so bad.(4)

No… No, no, no, no, no… NO. NO. NO. Why? Why?! Just let me go, let me go… LET ME GO DAMMIT, oh god… [Sobbing.]

[Sobbing groan.] Another five years. Five more years. If this keeps up, I'm getting re-stabilized for another FIVE FUCKING GODDAMN YEARS, RED WHAT DO I DO?!

[Over the next five days, the control panel does begin to pick up a low frequency hum that comes in pulses. The volume increases steadily, and as it does, Dr. Scranton can be heard screaming, crying, and speaking incoherently in the background.]

[Voice is noticeably shaky.] Red.

[At this point the background humming noise is picked up at a rate of 20 pulses/min.]

Five years, eleven months, nine days.

Help. [Loud splattering noise heard as something strikes what is assumed to be the control panel.]

[Complete silence for five days. Pulses increase in volume, as well as frequency to 30 per minute.]

[Loud splattering noise.]

Red. [Dr. Scranton's voice is extremely slurred, almost incomprehensible.]

Red.

Red, give me your leg, I need support.

Red, give me your lever, arm. HAND!

Red, I need to see better, give me your light, no sorry, no, no light needed, got it, sorry, something else.

Anna.

I want pretty eyes. Anna, Anna, give me your eye, I only have one.

Anna, Anna, give me your lips, I want to kiss you again.

[frankensteindotpdf]

All of them

FUCK I KNEW YOU WERE GONNA DO THIS CRAP AHHH

Who’s your crush/squish?

I......tend to have a couple at a time (go unreciprocation whoop whoop) anyhoo the main one is this girl who is SUPER CUTE AND HAS THE CUTEST LAUGH AND IS LOWKEY EMO AND JUST BRILLIANT TBH and fun fact she’s the one who made me realise I’m bi! annnnd there’s a guy....who I just realised I have a crush on....like yesterday....and I’m dying a little

Who’s your fictional crush/squish?

Hahahahahahaha that talks like there’s one.....Remus obviously...Tonks....Dean Winchester...Jughead .....Rapunzel.....Duke Crocker from Haven (holy crap bro).....I used to have a crush on Klaus Baudelaire and also Yo-Yoji (shut up Carina)..... massive squish on Sherlock Holmes....and more I’m forgetting

Worst joke you’ve ever told?

Crap bro my life is full of stupid jokes I can’t choose one

Worst insult you’ve ever given?

Just really dumb ones, nothing specific

Got any weird kinks?

not any weird ones

How did you find out about sex?

No idea, probably like parents or sex ed classes? I don’t remember

Trashiest thing in your wardrobe?

Literally none? I mean I have trash like a billion HP t shirts but nothing revealing or anything

Worst Phobia?

Needles. I literally cry everytime. 

Hentai or the real thing?

Ew neither thanks

Ever been arrested?

lol i never go outside no

What are you most selfish about?

This question is worded weird....uh my..sketchbooks? maybe? like I don’t really get the q but I never let anyone draw in my sketchbooks so ig that counts?

Who would you let die if given the chance to save them?

Myself

Who would you sacrifice yourself for?

Anyone

Something silly you believed as a kid?

Well I didn’t think “washcloth” was a real term, for some reason (I have literally no idea why) I thought it was just a word my family used but they were really called something else. I mean washcloth is so... on the nose

Weirdest/most embarassing thing you’ve drawn?

I once.....drew a picture....of my crush.....with a stupid nickname above it....and little hearts....and little pics of the stuff he liked.... UGH I CRINGE JUST THINKING ABOUT IT I WAS IN GRADE 2 DONT JUDGE ME

Controversial role models?

I can’t think of any? 

Cringiest fandom you’ve been in?

for like A MONTH I was into... Justin Bieber.

Cringiest thing you’ve shipped?

Trans Gilderoy Lockhart and Snape

Ever had “an accident” in public?

I mean when I was real little I did once after school but like no one was there besides my family so it wasn’t a big deal

What helps you fall asleep?

Honestly watching Bob Ross. He’s just so soothing

What childish things do you still do?

I dunno man...Lots I just can’t think of anything specific

What’s your age?

A HEATHERS SONG AND THE YEAR A WIZARD COMES OF AGE

Grossest thing you’ve eaten?

Some people would say crickets (they tasted great though) I would personally say (not eating but) gargling salt water. I literally threw up. Thanks, father.

Honest opinion on religion?

I definitely like the idea and totally respect other’s beliefs, but I’m still working it out. I mean I know mine pretty darn well but the more I learn the more it just sounds really convienient idk

What does your laugh sound like?

From being told to shut up so much it’s changed a lot....It’s kinda squeaky but mostly silent? I’m a bit self concious about it tbh

How would you describe your smile?

stupid. it scrunches up my face all wrong and makes me look even fatter than I already do

Did you go through any regrettable phases?

“Liking” music everyone else liked to fit in

Ever dropped plans/projects and not said a word?

Not one-on-one stuff (though social anxiety makes me want to every time) but like I guess? nothing noteworthy

Intovert/Extrovert?

INTROVERT

Personality Type?

INFP

Ugliest thing in your wardrobe?

I have this nightgown that I never wear that looks like something out of an 1800s movie...floral pattern and all

Would you wear pajama’s in public?

If I was with friends who were 

Weirdest thing that turned you on?

uhhhh I have no idea 

Pineapples on pizza????

hecc yes

Do you use the XD emoticon?

Only in an ironic way

Do you have a dark sense of humour?

yup

Worst thing you ship?

Ms. Frizzle and Brendon Urie

Top or bottom?

Oh I cant believe I’m answering this on the internet gosh well from my personality I’d say...bottom 

Top or bottom bunk?

Also bottom because I feel like I’ll fall off or break the top bunk

Pettiest thing you’ve cried over?

Dude I cry over everything...My sister said she’d rip one of my books

Pettiest thing you’ve gotten mad over?

Bro again like I usually get upset at myself rather than mad at other people but like at my family basically everything?

Longest time you’ve cried?

lol well multiple times I’ve cried for a few hours straight, I cried through an entire movie once (I’m not evenexaggerating I had to pause it because I was sobbing too hard literally 5 times)

Do you touch the art in museums?

NO THAT CAN WRECK IT AND I COULD GET IN TROUBLE

Do you have a fandom OC?

Kinda? I mean just self-inserts tbh

How much do you believe in astrology?

not at all

Have you ever used a base for drawing?

I mean I’ve copied them down but not traced

Have you ever used MSPaint for drawing non-ironically?

yup. there was a time when I had a laptop and sucked at drawing so when I got bored I’d draw on MSPaint

Controversial opinion?

I’m a feminist and I think everyone should be

Ass or chest?

I hate answering this I’m just gonna do it quickly and get it over with female ass, male chest

Chest or genitals?

chest

Genitals or ass?

I HATE THESE I HAVE NO IDEA OK

Any scars?

Yup. I have one on my arm from burning myself while baking in grade 8, and two others on the inside (of the same arm haha) that are from somehow managing to hit my arm off a staple sticking out of an old recliner

Do you pirate anything?

Only music for animatics, but even then only songs I’ve already bought but cant transfer. I don’t see the point. The artists I like I don’t just like for their music (or movies or whatever), I like them as people too. I want to thank them for making such awesome stuff, so a little donation is totally reasonable to me

url for an old cringy social media account?

I mean this one? I wasnt allowed to have social media when I was younger so yay none of that

Any post’s you’ve deleted and why?

Only ones I accidentally reblogged onto my art blog, but I always reblog them onto my main first

How long does it take you to get up in the morning?

depends. if I have nothing to do, hours. If I have school, anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour (I set my alarm real early)

What will instantly turn you on?

idk man nothing really...someone being good with kids is always sweet tho

Fave eye+hair colour combination?

Nothing specific, I like basically all colours?

Have you already named your future children?

If I have any they will be named after someone in one of my billions of fandoms (probably someone from hp)

Do you do drugs?

Just Ibuprofen amirite lol even then I am in pain way more than I take it I hate swallowing pills

How tall are you?

about 5′5 or 5′6

Did you go through a “RANDOM XD” phase?

yup

Dumbest thing you believed?

No idea, probably something from when I was little but idk

Dildo of choice? (besides an actual dildo)

boi i’m not even coming near this question (get it?)

Daddy kink?

I mean I find it hot when some people say it? but not really

Who could change your sexuality just by looking at you?

I’m...bi....so like.....no one? I’m confused mate there’s no way to answer this question

Bara/Yaoi/Shota?

none tbh i dont even know what 2/3 of those mean

What area’s of your body are most sensitive?

besides the obvious my knees, stomach, back, neck....okay everything I just hate people touching me thanks oh and my feet oh gosh I got a pedicure once and it was the worst experience of my life

Weirdest dream you’ve had?

A bunch man, once I had a dream where Peeta was transformed by the Capitol or smth to look like one of my friends and he was also heavily drugged and at my school for some reason and I was trying to help him get to safety....I had a dream where my family and I lived in a trailer park and our neighbour had a big dog that attacked my little brother, first by biting and then picking up a stick with its paws and beating him with it....one where my friend tried to touch my stomach and i panicked, punched him in the face, and then had a panic attack because I felt so bad

THANK GOSH THAT’S OVER

[superdeanlover]

How to Sope In 3 Dates or Less

Authors: Superdeanlover, Impalasfortreanchcoats

Chapter: 1/4

Summary: When Hoseok met Yoonji and lost all common sense... or actually, all sense of self preservation.

Or, how to ensnare the sun, the epic quest of a young heroine.

It all depends on your perspective.

Ships: Namjin, Sope/Yoonseok

Category: High School AU, Courtship, First Dates

Ao3 Link: here

“Jin can I ask you a question?”

Jin looked up from his physics book to see Hoseok lodged upside down on their couch. His legs were flung carelessly and his shirt had slipped down showing a little bit of his tanned belly.

“Sure,” Jin smiled at his roommate.

“When am I going to find love? When is someone going to write songs about my beauty, charm and wit,” Hoseok pointed at a frame holding the latest poem Jin’s girlfriend had written for him.  

 “I can put that away if you want,” Jin set his pen down and got ready to talk Hoseok back from the edge. Hoseok had been in a mood lately which meant he didn’t have his usual sunny demeanor.  

 “No don’t hide your love,” Hoseok sat upright on the couch clutching a hand to his chest dramatically. “You don’t have to stop your perfect romance with the woman of your dreams, because I am a loser that can’t find love.”

 “So things with Hera didn’t work out?”

 “Define work out,” Hoseok melted off of the couch onto the floor and absently pushed at his English notebook.

 “Ahmi and I are going to the movies on Friday. We’re going to watch Deadpool. Why don’t you come along?”

 “Thanks man. But as much as I support you guys in your love, I’d rather not spend the whole time awkwardly watching you guys play kissy face.”

 “First,” Jin put on the best indignant face he could muster, “I would like to say we don’t play kissy face, but I don’t like to lie.” Hoseok laughed as Jin hoped he would, “and second, why don’t I ask Ahmi to bring a friend along it will be a group date. You down?”

Hoseok set his English notebook down and considered the offer. Had his life really come to group blind dates? Yes, his brain answered instantly. Yes, it had. But in reality, what did he have to lose? It wasn’t like you could find love if you didn’t look for it, right?

 “Alright, I am down.”

 “Great,” Jin picked up his phone and sent his girlfriend a quick message.

 Jin:

My love

 Monie:

Yes?... You gorgeous piece of man. Miss me already? ;)

 Jin:

How was your day? And of course, I miss you.

 Monie:

It was great. I got to have lunch with this hottie who is totally obsessed with me. He’s so obsessed he cooked me lunch AND…. I got the highest score in the exam I took last week! HOORAY for me! Who is your DADDY?

 Jin:

Our children are going to be beautiful and smart!!! CONGRATS!!! And you were worried! See I told you, you would do amazing. You should listen to me, but you don’t. (Also my dad is Mr. Kim why?)

 Monie:

Thanks and yes I should listen to you. (Remind me, I said that next time I freak out)

 Jin:

I took a screen shot of this already. Hey so you know our movie date on Friday?

 Monie:

Yes…. Don’t you dare cancel OR CHANGE THE MOVIE! If I have to watch another RomCom, I am going to be upset.

 Jin:

RomCom’s are life. They will make a movie about our love one day. Besides I WANT to see Deadpool. So Hoseok has been a little down lately and I was thinking he could come along.

 Monie:

Ahhh so things didn’t work out with Hera?

 Jin:

He said “define work out” when I asked him about it.

 Monie:

Ouch. Hoseok is great though. I wonder what happened.

 Jin:

I have no details. I just know he was inverted and lodged on our couch. I was just thinking he could come along… maybe… if it was ok… if you don’t mind.

 Monie:

Yes of course he can come along. I love him. He’s great.

 Jin:

Great. Actually…. I was thinking…. Have I told you I love you by the way? You looked really pretty today with that new hair clip.  

 Monie:

?.... ok?

 Jin:

Maybe you could invite a friend for him…

 Monie:

Dude are you serious?

 Jin:

He’s sad! It’s like the sun has been eclipsed. ECLIPSED I TELL YOU

 Monie:

Dude…. You’re lucky I love you, you know that?

 Jin:

Is that a yes?

 Monie:

Have I ever said no to you?

Jin:

Yes, I distinctly remember one time in specific you said no.

 Monie:

I AM IN ADVANCED PLACEMENT BIOLOGY AND WHAT YOU SUGGESTED WAS NOT HYGENIC. I DON’T CARE WHERE YOU SAW IT.

 Jin:

Hahahahahahaha. I wasn’t even thinking about that 😉

 Monie:

Sure you sexual deviant, my answer is still no in case you’re trying to get the topic back on the table… but ANYWAY who did you have in mind? Yerin is seeing someone. Mina just broke up with N (again) and Yura is going out with Jonghyung, totally cute by the way. I have gossip on this later.

 Jin:

Hmmmmmmm there’s Y

 Monie:

Yeah, I don’t love you that much.

 Jin:

Yoonji is nice.

 Monie:

Define nice…

 Jin:

I think she’ll like him.

 Monie:

Define like…

 Jin:

Nice: possessing, marked by, or demanding great or excessive precision and delicacy. Like (1) to be suitable or agreeable to. (2) To feel attraction towards or take pleasure in; to feel towards.

 Monie:

How can you be so beautiful and such a dumbass?

 Jin:

Divine intervention: obviously. How could you not believe in intelligent design after seeing me?

 Monie:

I’ll email the Pope. But alright, I’ll make this work somehow. I am going to need 30 bucks.

 Jin:

I believe in you!!

 Jin:

Wait what?

 Monie:

There is only one way to get Y go do anything..

 Jin:

Of course (epic eye roll). Who would have known that all it would take to get Y out of bed in the morning was 7 dancing men.

 Monie:

Oh shush or I’ll tell her what you said.

 Monie:

AND they sing and are super talented.

 Jin:

I am kidding. I am kidding. I’ll send you the money right now. Also love you.

 Monie:

Love you too. Wish me luck! Fighting.

 **

“No.”

 Ahmi stood stock still, her mouth still opened and her unasked question stuck in her throat. She closed her mouth and gave her friend a perturbed stare, “Dude, I didn’t even as you anything yet.”

 Yoonji just squinted up at her from where she lay, splayed out, starfish style in the grassy shade of the tree. They were both out behind the school, a good ways away from where the other students were having lunch. Ahmi decided to forgo food so she could focus on the mission at hand, while Yoonji probably snuck her lunch in during class and already had her fill to maximize her napping schedule.

 Ahmi sighed, unceremoniously plopped herself down besides Yoonji, and said, “So, yeah, I do actually have a tiny favor.”

 At some point between Ahmi’s two sentences, Yoonji had closed her eyes.

 She didn’t deem it worth opening them again to respond, “Whatever it is, the answer is still no.”

 “Come on, Yoonji, you haven’t even heard what it is!”

 “Alright, tell me this, then.”

 Ahmi perked up, “Yeah?”

 “Does it have anything to do with that hare-brained boyfriend of yours?”

 Ahmi glanced to the side and pouted a bit, “Maybe?”

 “Then the answer is no.”

 “Oh, are you serious,” Ahmi finally exploded, kicking her legs out in anger, “it’s not like I ask you favors all the time!”

 “I give you glorious, unsolicited advice at all the time. You can consider those favors.”

 “Yeah? Like what?”

 “Who was it that told you not to feed your boyfriend your shit baking for his birthday?”

 “You dumped my cake in the trash and threw a match on it.”

 “And Jin was perfectly happy with the store bought cake, and you were not down one boyfriend. I saved his life, you know. You’re welcome.”

 Before Ahmi could come up with a decent response, Yoonji continued, “And who was it that helped you not look ridiculous on your first date?”

 “I though the red dress was sexy.”

 “It was, but you looked stupid in it. It was like watching baby’s first, very awkward strip tease. You needed to be yourself, and weren’t you more comfortable in the longer skirt?”

 “Ok, you got a point there. Whatever happened to that dress, though?”

 “I took it.”

 “Oh, my god, Yoonji.”

 “It wasn’t your size, anyway. Waste not, want not.”

 “Ugh! Damn it, Yoonji.”

 Ahmi gripped her hair in frustration. Jin owed her so much for this, so, so much. She took a deep breath to calm herself, before going at this from another angle.

 “Okay, you know what, let’s negotiate this. Listen, you come through for me this time, and we can work out some kind of… payment,” she said and quickly added, “within reason!”

 Silence stretched between them for a moment, before Yoonji finally opened one eye to look at Ahmi. “I am listening.”

 “Alright, so Jin and I are going to the movies this Friday, right? And he has this friend who’s a really great guy, but he’s going through some rough times right now, so we wanted to cheer him up and bring him along, but who wants to third wheel us, you know? And since you’re not doing anything anyway, I was thinking –“

 “Jin is making me lunch for a week, weekends included, 50 dollars flat rate, but if the guy is extra annoying, I want an extra fee for pain and suffering.”

 “A week? That’s insane! Lunch for three days, extra fee is negotiable.”

 “One week and 50 bucks. Take it or leave it.”

 “But Jin has to make our lunch, too! And he’s busy enough as it is!”

 “Well, he’s not too busy not to go poking his nose into other people’s business, otherwise we wouldn’t have this problem, would we? That’s my final offer.”

 Ahmi heaved a sigh, but she had an extra card up her sleeve just for dealing with Yoonji, “How about this? One week, no weekends, because what the fuck, and a bomb.”

 Yoonji was just about to tell Ahmi to go shove her offer ‘where the sun don’t shine’ when she computed what was said. She opened both her eyes to stare at Ahmi, “Bitch, you better not be playing with me.”

 “Your very own ARMY bomb.”

 “Version 2.”

 “Of course. WIFI connection for concerts, color adaptable… vibration.”

 “I want it before Friday.”

 “You can have it tomorrow if you say yes.”

 “And I still get the lunches.”

 “Fine,”

 “Okay.”

 “Is that a yes?”

 “Yes, don’t gloat, you just look dumb.”

 “Hell, yeah!” Ahmi cheered and bounced where she sat, before pausing and giving Yoonji a long look, “Just so you know, it only vibrates when you turn it on and off.”

 “It just depends on how fast I can turn it on and off, then.”

 “You’re joking, right?”

 “Maybe.”

 **

“So tell me about my date,” Hoseok did his best not to fidget even as he shifted his weight from one foot to another.

 “Well her name is Yoonji, and she’s Ahmi’s friend of course. They have music and art together.”

 “Oh so she’s artsy?”

 “Hmmmmm… yes definitely. Ahmi and her met in detention last year.”

 “What? Miss Top 1% got into trouble?”

Jin punched Hoseok on the shoulder lightly. “Yes, last year she kept on getting uniform violations remember? Yoonji spotted Ahmi’s BTS patch and they became friends.”

 “Wait a minute… my date is ARMY?”

 Jin arched an eyebrow. “You swear like it’s that bad,” Jin checked his watch. The love of his life was running late.

 “Jin… Look we’re great friends and Ahmi is perfect for you, but you’re wiped. She drags you to all the fan meetings, concerts, and anything else BTS related. In your relationship there are three people: you, Ahmi and BTS. How is that not considered that bad?” Hoseok ended the sentence with air quotes.

 “She really likes BTS. It’s something we can do together, and I like it when she’s happy,” Jin said simply.

 “So it’s not weird that she has a bias in the group and spends all the time she’s away from you and part of the time with you thinking about another guy…. No, no, a set of guys, seven to be exact,” Hoseok squinted up at Jin.

 “Oh Hoseok,” Jin wrapped an arm around his friend’s shoulder. “I am worldwide handsome. I don’t worry about such petty things.” Jin let go of Hoseok and scanned the lobby again, “also that’s why I go with her,” he added with a wink.

 “Ok,” Hoseok lifted his hands in defeat. “If you say it’s not that bad I’ll believe you. Shit it’s not like I would know anyway.”

 “They’re here,” Jin nodded towards Ahmi and the girl still in her school uniform trailing behind.

 “Hey guys sorry we’re late. We missed the bus,” Ahmi smiled at Hoseok then turned her attention to Jin.

 Hoseok saw what passed between them and it made his heart ache. They loved each other so much. Ahmi’s eyes turned from bright to radiant by just looking into Jin’s face while Jin’s cool and unscathed demeanor melted at the sight of her. Hoseok looked away feeling like an intruder in the intimate moment they shared when he noticed her.  

 He noticed her first because she too was an intruder in the love their friends shared, and second because she was lovely. She was a pretty thing, he thought, and assumed many guys at their school thought the same thing when they looked at her. Her hair was dark, rich and smooth. Her skin was clear and unmarred by the ache marks that he struggled with occasionally. He wondered if she also obsessively applied creams, serums, and treatments as his sister and mother did. She was tiny next to Ahmi with her trim uniform jacket and unbound shoulder length hair. Her big eyes scanned the lobby of the movie theater completely uninterested as if everything was beneath her genuine consideration. Hoseok knew the moment she noticed him because her posture changed. She squared her shoulders, and squinted at him a deliberate move that amused him.  

 “This is my friend Yoonji. She’s a second year,” Ahmi stood next to Jin creating a circle. “This is Hoseok Jin’s friend.”

 “Nice to meet you,” Hoseok bowed slightly and smiled enjoying the cross between a scowl and smirk that played along the edge of her lips. When Yoonji didn’t answer, Ahmi coughed and elbowed her friend.

 “Nice to meet you,” Yoonji bowed and then attempted what might be called a smile. Hoseok’s first reaction was vague irritation at the sight of her lips set in a thin line. Still, it was a pretty set of lips if you looked at them. When the moved towards the concession stand Ahmi and Jin already making epic nacho and snack plans, Hoseok had to adjust his stride to keep up with his date. For such a small girl, she had a long and purposeful stride.

 “Do you want to get some snacks,” Hoseok asked as Yoonji strode pasts him and ordered. She smiled at the cashier and flipped her short crop of hair over her shoulder. It gave him a little jerk in the belly to watch how her hair cupped the side of her face. Stupid, he thought as he moved to stand next to her still with the image of her exposed neck in his mind.

 “I’ll have some nachos, a large coke, and some gummy worms please,” that’s when Hoseok saw it. A petal pink flush of color stained her cheeks and she turned the smile of delight from nachos, large coke and gummy worms on him. Hoseok would challenge any man to put of a defense against such unfiltered joy. Distracted he simply handed over his card to the cashier without ordering.

 “No, I am good,” she said pulling her own card from a BTS wallet.

 “No really its fine, I got it.” Hoseok pushed his card forward almost landing right in front of the cashier’s face. Yoonji made a quick sound of annoyance.

 “Don’t look at him,” she said to the girl in a commanding voice,” look at me and TAKE MY CARD.” The cashier quickly complied unable to do anything else and threw Hoseok an apologetic smile.

 Yoonji got her receipt stuffed it into her wallet and moved to the side to wait for her food with a smile on her face like nothing had happened.

 “I’ll have a hot dog, small popcorn, and a coke,” Hoseok told the casher as she turned to take his order. “I could have paid for you,” Hoseok said as he stood next to Yoonji to wait for his order.

 “Nah, I am good,” she said simply.

 “No really, it’s not a big deal,” Hoseok tried again.

 “Yes, it is,” Yoonji responded without turning to look at him. “If you pay for me then social convention dictates that I have to act a certain way blah blah. If you were trying to be nice then thanks, but I am good. If you had something else in mind with the gesture,” now she turned her gaze on him. “Try anything and I’ll kick your ass so thoroughly not even Ahmi will be able to put you back together.”

 When Hoseok, tried to help Yoongji carry her tray, she planted herself in a stance that signaled a fight. “I am just trying to help,” Hoseok held both hands up.

 She relaxed a bit but she still squinted her eyes at him. “Do you want ketchup for the hot dog?” She asked in a quick change of mood.

 “Sure.”

 “Ok I’ll go get some ketchup and napkins be right back,” she tossed her head, and sent her halo of hair flying. Hoseok followed to soft sway of her uniform skirt which he noted was short.

 His date was prickly Hoseok concluded, but temper suited her. She had long slim legs and right when his thoughts turned to more interesting road Yoonji caught him looking. Her brow lifted under her neatly styled bangs and her mouth thinned. Her eyes turned dark and dangerous sending sparks as she walked back towards him. Hoseok swallowed the urge to apologize and smiled sheepishly. She was fascinating. Why did he find her so interesting?

 Yoonji pushed napkins his way diving up their food. “Don’t make me punch you,” her words were clipped but rolled off of her tongue as if she’d uttered the threat so often it was common.

 Hoseok coughed and covered the smile playing on his lips. “You guys ready,” Jin asked as he and Ahmi walked up with an inappropriate amount of food between the both of them.

 Hoseok led Yoonji into the movie theater and they followed Jin and Ahmi to find seats. Once at the middle of the hallway, Hoseok caught himself because the damn woman put her foot out to trip him. “Hey! What are you doing?”

 “Follow me,” Yoonji took a sip from her soda and walked in the opposite direction.

 “Shouldn’t we sit together,” Hoseok asked looking towards Jin and Ahmi.

 “Absolutely fucken not,” Yoonji climbed up some steps and selected a seat before melting into it. “They talk during the previews and make plans of what movies to see so hard pass.”

 She had a point so Hoseok shrug his shoulders and sat down. He took his drink from her and handed her the nachos and gummy worms. She shifted slightly in her seat and the edge of her skirt brushed lightly against those amazing legs. Hoseok pretended to arrange his things putting his card back into his wallet and turning his cell phone off. He stole another glance towards her legs and watched as she attacked the nachos out of the corner of his eyes. Before Hoseok could take the first bite of his hotdog she put down the arm rest between them with squinted eyes, “if you try anything, I’ll break your fingers.”

 The movie started under a cloak of darkness and Hoseok’s muffled laughed. He couldn’t remember ever having so much fun on a date. She’d threatened to punch him and break his fingers. How could he not like her?

 During the movie, she laughed with abandon and often. Even in the dim lights of the movie theater, Hoseok enjoyed her gummy smile. On first dates, in his experience anyway, there was always tension and people didn’t always act like themselves. There were always pretenses and appearances to keep up, but not with her. She was enjoying herself and the movie. When Hoseok offered her some of his popcorn she squinted at him again and then took a small handful with a curt, thank you.

 She wasn’t a dainty flower, but she was herself, and he just had to like that about her.

 **

“The movie was great,” Ahmi had her hand linked in Jin’s and was gesturing wildly. “I laughed, I cried, and I laughed again.”

 “It was hilarious, but I could have used a few more dick jokes,” Yoonji grinned winking at Ahmi. “The more meta the better.”

 “Right,” Ahmi responded enthusiastically. “Also can I send a personal thanks to Ryan Reynolds oppa. He must have skipped out on a lot of tasty snacks to get that banging body.”

 “Yes very nice,” Yoonji nodded in agreement. “Not my style, but nice booty.”

 “Not your style,” Ahmi smacked Jin in her shock. “He’s everyone’s style right babe?”

 “What I don’t get,” Jin turned to face both girls, “is how the both of you can be so perverted.”

 “How are we perverted?” Ahmi’s smile wavered as she pulled away from Jin. “Did Ryan Renolds oppa not look amazing?”

 “How Jin?” Yoonji asked.

 Hoseok stood by Jin’s side in solidarity, but his friend was about to get it. “I just meant the comments …,” but Jin trailed off.

 “Maybe he’s trying to say we’re objectifying Ryan Reynolds oppa,” Yoonji suggested.

 “Sure,” Ahmi crossed her arms over her chest, “if with objectification he means not seeing Ryan Reynolds oppa as a breathing living, human being but as a thing that can be claimed and owned.”

 “Yeah,” Yoonji put a hand to her chin. “But Ryan Reynold’s oppa’s worth is not defined by how beautiful or sexually desirable he is or by how much attention he receives or how many women want to fuck him.” Hoseok winced a bit. “He doesn’t satisfy our female gaze… for Men it doesn’t work out like this. Socially, men’s worth is defined by other factors Sure as an actor we can say that his looks and sexual appeal do have a sway there; however…”

 “He, if people are interested I his work, will continue to have a long and successful career regardless of how he ages unlike his wife who is also an actress and under different expectations in Hollywood,” Ahmi finished as Jin started blinking quickly a sure sign that he was nervous.

 “Jin if we can’t live in a world where Ahmi and I can’t appreciate a dick joke as much as the next person then why even try,” Yoonji took Ahmi by the arm and the two girls walked away towards the arcade.

 “Man what were you thinking,” Hoseok asked.

 “I wasn’t obviously,” Jin turned and followed the girls.

 **

“You think they’ll be ok? They’re not going to fight the rest of the night are they? I was hoping to nit the arcade,” Hoseok tilted his head over to where Jin was standing in front of Ahmi gesturing wildly and blinking like there was no tomorrow.

 Yoonji sank deeper into the chair and crossed her ankles together. “Is the hare-brained beauty blinking like his eyes are going to fall out?”

 Hoseok sat down and looked over at their friends. “Yes, definitely and they’re watery too.”

 “Does she look like she couldn’t be more bored and her lips are thin and tight?”

 Hoseok shifted in his seat go get a better look at Ahmi. “Yup absolutely.”

 “They’ll be fine then just give them a few more moments,” Yoonji settled back in her chair and went shockingly still like someone had taken the battery out of her.

 “They shouldn’t fight it really isn’t a big deal.”

 “It isn’t?” Yoonji opened one eye to look at him.

 “Well its important of course,” Hoseok responded, “that gender things be discussed.”

 “Gender things,” Yoonji gave Hoseok a sideways glance. “Well you’re not wrong… Take them for example.” She nodded towards their two friends.

 “Do you think that they would have had this disagreement if they were both male or female?”

 “Hmmmm that’s a weird solution, but maybe?”

 “Good answer because regardless of gender Ryan Reynolds oppa or hyung is hot as fuck,” Yoonji answered simply. “Gender is performative and a construction… look at them if Ahmi was a guy how would you interpret what’s going on between them right now?”

 Hoseok looked over back at their friends. Jin was still blinking like crazy touching the sides of Ahmi’s arms to get her attention. His face was incredibly close to her keeping the conversation between them despite the obvious signs that they were having a disagreement. Ahmi turned to look at Jin and again Hoseok was struck with how much she loved his friend. It was all there in her eyes despite the sheen of annoyance. “Well that they’re good friends.”

 Yoonji burst out laughing. “Really? Friends? Those two?”

 “Well Jin isn’t gay.”

 Yoonji shook her head and squinted at him. “It’s not about that, that’s not what I asked you. If nothing was different they’re still making kissy face eyes at each other, and standing just as close, and looking at each other like that does something change? Do the way they love each other change because they’re both men?”

 Hoseok watched as Ahmi’s dimples flashed at Jin. “No, they’d still love each other.”

 “Exactly,” Yoonji said with a gummy smile.

 **

“Race cars,” Yoonji said shaking a handful of coins in in Hoseok’s direction as she walked past him. Hoseok followed leaving Ahmi and Jin in the middle of an intense game of basketball.

 Hoseok followed as Yoonji selected a Fast and the Furious version of the game and quickly put coins in. “I’ll get the next game,” he smiled at her. She snorted at him. She was a mule of a woman and he couldn’t help but like it.

 Hoseok was happily flipping through the different card options when he spotted her: Hera.

 She was with a group of her friends and the guy she had passed him for, Leo. She spotted him and Hoseok sunk into his seat. Please don’t come over, please don’t come over, he chanted in his head and gripped the steering wheel tightly.

 Yoonji watched out of the corner of her eye as Hera walked over to talk to Hoseok. From Hera’s position either she couldn’t see her or just opted for ignoring her. Hera’s voice dripped with pity and Yoonji recognized the look of scraped male pride in Hoseok’s eyes. Yoonji wouldn’t have intervened, but the tension in Hoseok’s frame made her act. Yoonji put a light hand over Hoseok’s shoulders and leaned in completely ignoring Hera. “Oppa, if you pick this car we can do the drift course. I reeeeally want to do that one.”

 Yoonji fixed a polite smile on her face but kept her hand on Hoseok’s shoulder. “Hi Hera,” Yoonji flipped her short crop of hair back from her face. Hera was pretty for sure, but Yoonji could take her if need be. “Are you here alone,” Yoonji tilted her head to the side.

 “Of course not,” Hera answered. “I am here with a group of friends and Leo.”

 “Great then you should go back to them,” Yoonji turned her full attention to Hoseok. Yoonji winced internally when she saw Hoseok’s eyes cloud a bit. She had turned on the charm a little too much, but surely he’d understand why later. “Oppa, what color are you going to pick? I think I’ll go classic with the all black when it’s my turn.”

 Yoonji watched the look of confusion in Hera’s face and wondered if the three brain cells the girl had in her head had finished computing the scene. A few minutes later, the girl quietly excused herself and left.

 “Sorry,” Hoseok mumbled for only her to hear. Yoonji nodded and prepared herself to kick his ass at every game in the arcade.

 **

Yoonji kept leaning onto Hoseok until she was sure Hera was gone, the entire time wholly aware of the waves of confusion coming from Hoseok’s tense frame, despite his apology.

 So, when she sure the girl was gone, Yoonji felt obligated to punch his arm for good measure. Rather than backing off, she leaned in, prompting Hoseok’s eyes to widen as he was forced to stare into her semi-irate face. It was funny how such a small girl could cut such an intimidating figure.

 Once she was positive she had his undivided attention, Yoonji spoke, jabbing his chest for emphasis, “I don't like people who are full of themselves with nothing to back it up. I don't like stupid people even more. And, I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here, but I'm assuming you're a nice guy, or at worst, you're leagues above Hera, since you actually seem to have a personality. So, let's be clear here, Hera committed the cardinal sin of annoying me. You, thus far, have not. Keep that up, and I won't regret saving your face, right there. Are we good?”

 Hoseok could only nod.

 “I'm even willing to consider that dumb face she made funny enough that you won't owe me for that. Don't say I’m not generous.”

 “Thanks?”

 “You’re welcome.”

 There was a moment of awkward silence as Hoseok tried to figure out what happened, because he kind of lied when he nodded, but considering he honestly felt his life depended on satisfying the girl looming over him, he could be forgiven for his dishonesty. He took a moment to observe the tiny figure of Yoonji, and couldn't help but mentally compare her to the warrior heroes of old folklores.

 Wait. Did that make him the damsel?

 He shook his head and tried to get a better hold on reality.

 “So, you want to?” He pointed at the game.

 “I said I'd get the next game. That shit was just for show.”

 “Oh, okay.”

 “Just hurry up, I want my turn some time this year.”

 Strangely, he couldn't help but flash a smile at her in response to the griping.

 He went about choosing the car and specs, and then he was off. Hoseok wasn't terrible at racing games, but even he had to admit having a gorgeous dictator of a girl leaning over the headrest of his seat while he played wasn't exactly conducive to skillful maneuvering.

 It got worst when she started talking again.

 “So,” she drawled, her voice unnerving as it was coming from over his head, but he couldn't turn to look at her, much like speaking to a judgmental god, “I was just thinking, your terrible taste in girls aside, you do seem like a decent dude.”

 “Thanks, I guess?”

 “Don't question my judgment. Anyway, you're single, then, and obviously not of your own volition.”

 “No, I guess not.”

 “So, give it to me straight. What kind of weird shit are you into?”

 Hoseok proceeded to drive straight off a cliff.

 “What?” He whirled around, while the game readjusted the car.

 She didn't even really look at him. Instead, pointing at the screen and said, “you kind of suck at this game, don't you?”

 “Yeah, no, wait, what? No! What did you mean by weird shit?”

 “Your car is about to go off the cliff again.”

 Hoseok was forced to turn back, and once again, Yoonji became a disembodied voice floating from above him.

 “And I meant exactly what I said,” she continued, “you must be into some weird ass shit to suck that bad with girls. I mean that was Hera. She's the very definition of ‘easy,’ but somehow you obviously managed to screw that up.”

 “How did you know I screwed up?”

 “I said ‘easy,’ didn't I?”

 “I'm not into anything… weird.”

 “Oh, don't give me that. You can tell me. No judgment here, promise. I just want to know what made her run.”

 “I'm really not -”

 “Not buying it. You into fisting?”

 Fortunately, there was no cliff to for Hoseok to swan dive from, but he did crash into the barrier. There was some flailing with the wheel to get back on the road, but he managed it and very calmly said, “no, Yoonji, I'm not into fisting.”

 “Yeah, I didn't think so. I'm pretty sure someone could talk Hera into that. Hmm, watersports?”

 Hoseok was white-knuckling the wheel when he answered, “no.”

 “Really? I would have put money on that. I was going to say pegging, but it's Hera. She would totally be down. BDSM?”

 Before, he could respond, Yoonji plowed right on, “actually, I think she wouldn't turn that down either. Besides, I don't think you could afford decent enough toys for that. Wait, you think you would be dom or sub?”

 Hoseok was choking on air. Who knew it was possible?

 Completely unaware of his plight, Yoonji’s word vomit continued to pour over Hoseok’s increasingly sweaty head, “actually, why am I even asking. Sub. Definitely sub. Although, I see potential for power bottom in you. You should give it a go someday. Let's see… I don't see Hera being thrown off by you having a voyeurism kink, though. Maybe actual threesome, might be if-y. You like orgies?”

 Hoseok had no idea what to say, so he just shook his head. Why wasn't this round over? Oh, look, an oncoming train, maybe third time’s the charm and he could get out of this hell seat.

 Yoonji made a scoffing noise as his car was obliterated by the train. He happily gave up his seat to her, and while Yoonji was occupied with inserting the coins, he planned a hasty retreat to the oasis of sanity that was Jin and Ahmi. He was debating the moral quandary of it, when she ended it for him with a sharp, “Now watch and learn. This is how the pros drive!”

 Hoseok found himself watching over the headrest as Yoonji destroyed his score. He found himself smiling, despite the sweat still beading his forehead. He almost forgot the whole ordeal, but then Yoonji happened again.

 “So no orgies, huh,” she said, still going full speed in the game.

 He felt his shoulders slump in defeat and just hummed his agreement.

 “This is harder than I thought it would be. Okay, I'm going to list some shit, you just say yes or no.”

 Hoseok sighed. This girl…

 “So, cum play, yes or no?”

 Choking on spit was indeed possible without even swallowing.

 “No? Okay. Bukkake?”

 “No…” he whimpered, not really sure what that actually was, and debating the wisdom of looking that up when he got home.

 “Hm,” Yoongi hummed as she blasted past the other vehicles inside the game, “I had this cousin who said her boyfriend couldn't fuck without porn playing in the background. Like they tried, and he couldn't. Not wouldn't. Couldn't. You got some hiccup like that?”

 “Yoonji, I haven't…”

 “Haven't what?”

 “You know. I just haven't… with anyone.”

 “Oh, fuck yes!”

 “What?”

 “No, not you, I just knocked this guy off the road,” she said, not taking her eyes off the screen, “so you're a virgin? No shame in that.”

 “Uh… thanks?”

 “It's not like you need someone else to have fun, anyway,” she casually added.

 So this is what a heart attack feels like; Hoseok had always wondered.

 He meant to ask what she was talking about, but all that came out was an incomprehensible garbling noise.

 She huffed a short laugh, “what? Like your hand doesn't count?”

 Hoseok wondered where the high-pitched kettle sound was coming from, until he realized he was the one squealing. Oh, god, how embarrassing.

 Surprisingly, although she still hadn't looked away from the game, Yoonji laughed. And from his angle, Hoseok was able to see enough of the smile to be stunned by the contrast it was from the usual look of displeasure. Oh, god, she's adorable.

 “Wait,” she said, “so did you understand what I was talking about?”

 “You do realize there's the internet,” he said, ignoring the fact that there were maybe a few items he might have to research later.

 “So you're doing the homework, but not pulling in the grades, got it!”

 He just heaved a sigh and accepted his lot in life.

 “Alright, quickie then. Are you a furry?”

 “Why are we still on this?”

 “I'm curious. It's pretty obvious Hera moved on to more experienced pastures. This is just for funsies.”

 “No, not a furry.”

 “Vore?”

 “No,” he said, mentally writing down another item on his growing list.

 “That's probably good thing.”

 Or maybe he shouldn't look it up after all.

 “Well, this sucks.”

 “Sorry?”

 “No, not you, I barely made top ten. Who the hell thinks ABCD is a decent player name?”

 “I think yours is cool. Suga?”

 “Damn straight it's cool. I came up with it,” she stretched and took a swig from the soda she'd all but forgotten since she started the game. Then stopped with a frown.

 “What's wrong?” Hoseok was worried about the abrupt change in mood.

 “I'm low. Gotta refill.” She shook her empty soda at him and wandered off, calling over her shoulder, “You go find the dastardly duo. I’ll meet up with you guys in a sec.”

 Once again, Hoseok was left staring after Yoonji, both in fear and admiration.

 **

Hoseok was surprised he didn’t swallow his tongue. Who was she? Did she just say everything that popped into her head? Although that wasn’t quite accurate, he thought as she walked away to get a refill of her soda. She waited until the most shocking and inappropriate things came into her mind then she decided to say them out loud.

 “Hey, are you guys interested in playing a two on two epic arcade smackdown,” Jin clapped a hand over Hoseok’s shoulders.

 “Sure, sounds like fun,” Hoseok said halfheartedly as his date walked back looking as innocent as a nun.

 They played in pairs: Jin and Ahmi against Hoseok and Yoonji. What had started as a friendly competition had turned into a marathon for frozen yogurt tickets. They played four rounds of Dance Revolution, basketball, air hockey and fruit ninja.

 They all sucked at DDR which was sad.

 They all looked like idiots trying to play, but luckily Hoseok pulled ahead by just a few points giving them the win in that round. They would have won at basketball but Ahmi had miraculously slayed the game after a technical do-over. Hockey by far had turned out to be the most competitive with Jin almost losing a testicle in an aggressive and probably illegal air hockey move by Yoonji.

 “Oh, oh babe are you ok?” Ahmi asked as she walked over to stand next to Jin. Yoonji had burst out laughing and Hoseok hadn’t been able to help himself. When Jin whispered a deflated, “I am ok,” Hoseok had only laughed more.

 Although the race had been tight, Hoseok and Yoonji had emerged victorious thanks to her ruthless accuracy in air hockey and fruit ninja.

 “Yogurt passes please,” Yoonji put her hand out. Ahmi pouted slightly but handed over the two yogurt passes her mom had given her. “Let’s go, bye suckers,” Yoonji turned and waved Hoseok over.

 “We’re not waiting for them,” Hoseok asked as he caught up with her.

 “Hell, no they lost. They don’t get frozen yogurt that’s the rules.”

 **

She liked strawberry short cake.

 Hoseok would have never guessed that Yoonji liked strawberry short cake in a million years. Hoseok took a spoonful from his hodgepodge of frozen yogurt and toppings. It had been fascination to watch Yoonji deliberate, contemplate and carefully select her ingredients until she’d settled on a simple combination of vanilla and strawberry base, with cake pieces and fresh strawberries.

 “I’ve never been here,” Hoseok looked around the small shop.

 “Oh, I come where with Ahmi. We usually get a table in a corner somewhere and study for a bit.”

 “Oh that’s cool, usually Jin and I just study in the dorm or library.”

 “Of course you guys do,” Yoonji took a sip form her raspberry infused water. “Color me not surprised that Jin doesn’t actually have a life outside of Kim Ahmi.”

 “He has hobbies,” Hoseok defended.

 “Sure name three,” Yoonji challenged as she pushed the empty container out of her way and leaned closer to him.

 “Well he likes Mario Bros, and he enjoys playing the game-“

 “Nope that’s one thing,” Yoonji interrupted.

 “No, gaming and collecting are separate activities,” Hoseok argued.

 “Hmmmm ok so Ahmi and I like BTS. We collect their stuff, buy the albums, and go to concerts are all of those separate activities or part of a whole?”

 She had him there, “fine Mario Bro’s related things are one. He also likes the color pink.”

 “Liking a color isn’t a hobby,” Yoonji sat back looking smug already.

 “It is if its his life aesthetic,” Hoseok said with a cheerful smile.

 “Fine I’ll give you that one, but you’re reaching.”

 “And third,” Hoseok said triumphantly, “he likes… he likes,” Hseok trailed off trying to figure out what else to say. Everything else that Jin did was for Ahmi so those things didn’t really count as hobbies. Jin had started to cook because Ahmi had made him a box lunch and he’d gotten food poisoning. After the third time it happened, the guy did it for survival. “He likes…,” Hosoek trailed off again unable to come up with a third thing.

 Yoonji raised an eyebrow and watched Hoseok closely. “He wants to be an actor,” Yoonji filled in after a few minutes. “He’s harebrained and all, but he’s actually pretty good.”

 Hoseok just stared at her.

 “You should close your mouth. You look like a horse,” Hoseok just watched as she walked away to throw her empty yogurt cup in the trash.

 **

The bus ride was uneventful and silent. Hoseok walked with Yoonji towards the dorms.

 “Alright so see ya,” Yoonji turned around and started to make her way towards the girls dorms.

 “Wait, wait I’ll walk you,” Hoseok said as he awkwardly followed along.

 “Suit yourself,” she said as she put her hand sin the pockets of her coat.

 “It’s pretty tonight,” Hoseok looked up at the evening sky. The moon was full and round so which was great because he didn’t have to worry about tripping over a rock and faceplanting like he had on his date with Choa. That had been beyond embarrassing so much so Hoseok still avoided her.

 “Sure,” Yoonji looked up to admire the moon.

 Hoseok noticed her skin was almost the same color as the glow the moon gave off. In the dim lights, her skin seemed to shimmer.

 “You’re staring,” Yoonji turned to face him and crossed her arms over her chest.

 “I am sorry, I didn’t’ mean to stare… Its just your skin… its super white like the moon,” Hoseok fully expected to be punched or torn to pieces as she had previously threatened. Much to his surprise, she smiled and looked down at her hands.

 “Yeah, my skin does that,” Yoonji pulled her sleeve up to reveal a silky and white wrist. “My skin is pretty pale naturally, but since BTS just had a comeback and we were streaming the video Ahmi and I are extra pale.”

 Hoseok said nothing as he followed her along the buildings. “This is far enough,” Yoonji announced in the courtyard.

 “Oh, I can walk you the rest of the way,” Hoseok offered.

 “Not necessary, I can walk myself.”

 “Ok well…,” Hoseok didn’t know what to do with his hands. Why did humans have hands anyway? What were you supposed to do with your hands on a date? “Thanks for helping me win the frozen yogurt it was great.”

 “Sure,” Yoonji said calmly.

 “Oh yeah thanks. I had a… Oh there’s a- “Hoseok’s hands reached for Yoonji before he could stop himself. She had giving him all of the signs that she did not appreciate being touched or approached without proper warning. Why Hoseok had no sense of self-preservation would intrigue professionals for years because there was murder in Yoonji’s beautiful eyes when his hands circled her shoulders.

 In Hoseok’s defense, he was trying to protect her from a huge bug that was on her shoulder, but perhaps reaching for her the way he did was not the best option. It looked like he was trying to struggle cuddle her akin to hugging a cat who was not in the mood for your shenanigans.

 One second he was reaching for her and the next he was on his face in the dirt with a very sharp knee digging into his back and a hand pulling viciously at his hair.

 “Are you fucken kidding me,” Hoseok felt his head snap back harder as she put more force into the hold. “Asshole,” she muttered as she pushed his head into the dirt and Hoseok just lay there as he heard her walk away.

 **

“Hoseok, I hope you don’t think I am being nosey but why are you bleeding and covered in dirt,” Jin walked towards Hoseok and lead him into the kitchen.

 “If I told you, you wouldn’t believe me,” Hoseok said dishearten as he let Jin sit him down and hand him an ice pack.

 “Last time I saw you, you were with Min Yoonji so I’ll believe just about anything,” Jin said as he held Hoseok’s hand and waited for the story.

 Five minutes later, Jin sat in the kitchen doing his best to hold the laughter bubbling inside of him. “I think that, that is the most accurate description of Yoonji and physical contact. She is like a cat you struggle cuddle. I am so sorry,” Jin threw Hoseok a comforting look. “I should have given you more warning. You can’t make sudden moves towards Yoonji, but I didn’t think you’d try to make a move on her on the first date.”

 “I didn’t make a move there was a huge bug,” Hoseok pouted, “she didn’t even give me a chance to explain either. I know it looked bad but my intentions were noble and the next thing I knew I was eating dirty Jin.”

 “I believe you,” Jin nodded,” but Yoonji isn’t very trusting. She gets hit on a lot like a lot. She might not be your usual type, but a lot of guys at school think she’s very beautiful. She’s made it pretty clear she doesn’t date, since BTS is her one true love, but when she transferred here she caused a huge commotion even the class president was trying to charm her.”

 “Class President Park? How did I miss this,” Hoseok asked.

 “I think you were mooning over Seolhyung at the time.”

 “So, she’s really popular?” Yup Hoseok thought he definitely didn’t have a chance with her. What the hell was his mind thinking? He didn’t have a chance with her? Of course, he didn’t want a chance with a girl who had beat him up or did he?

 “Yes, and no. Yes, she still is because a lot of guys and girls admire her,” Jin laughed lightly. “She jokes with Ahmi that she’s everyone’s type and has the best legs in the world, but because she’s turned down so many guys no one is brave enough to ask her out anymore. She’s just admired from afar.”

 “So, she’s not seeing anyone,” Hoseok couldn’t help but think back on their date. She had laughed, joked, and talked to him. Sure, he ended up eating dirt in the end, but that was by far one of the best dates he’d ever been on.

 “Dude didn’t you hear me? She destroys hearts faster than Ahmi breaks things,” Jin said so intensely that Hoseok kept all his questions about the mysterious Min Yoonji to himself.

 **

They had both come to an interesting conclusion earlier that evening when the two couples went their separate ways. And despite their lack of yogurt, as Ahmi and Jin watched the unlikely pair wander off, she couldn't help but feel an odd sense of anticipation with a hint of trepidation. When she took a look at Jin, her boyfriend had his head tilted to the side and a thoughtful look on his face.

 “What do you think,” she had to ask.

 Without changing his stance, he answered her question with another question, “what is the likelihood of that turning into something?”

 “On one hand, not very high. Yoonji is… Yoonji,” Ahmi said while turning to look at the backs of the figures in the distance.

 Jin nodded sagely, eyes also still on the two, “on the other hand, this might not be impossible. I mean, Hoseok is, well, Hoseok.”

 “You have a point there, sweet macchiato of my heart.”

 “Oh, do I? Well, if my darling genius queen says so, then it must be true. This might be the start of a beautiful love story.”

 “Or a glorious trainwreck.”

 “Either way -”

 “We can always watch the firework together.”

 “Have I told you I love the way your mind works?”

 “Not as often as you should, but I'll forgive you if you get me a nice milkshake.”

 “As you wish. Nothing but the best for my beautiful lady.” He hooked his arm in hers and gently led her away.

 “You're such a sap, Jinnie,” she laughed while slapping his arm.

 “Only for you, pikachu!”

 “Oh, shut up!”

 “We really should keep an eye on this whole thing though.”

 “We should. I feel responsible.”

 “I'll keep up with Hoseok. You fill me in on the Yoonji side of things.”

 “Sounds like a plan. Now, milkshake!”

 And with that decided, Ahmi tried not to look too conspicuous in their dorm common room waiting for Yoonji’s return. The longer it took, the antsier she became. Was it possible that Yoonji had actually hit it off with a guy? Or did she kill him and was in the process of getting rid of the evidence?

 Ahmi shook her head and went about cleaning the third cup she'd accidentally destroyed with her fidgeting. She was in the process of dumping the shards into the trash bin when the sound of the front door opening broke the silence.

 Dropping everything she was doing and kicking the bin aside, she ignored the crack that was probably the demise of said bin and ran toward the sofa, diving into it at the same time the door opened.

 Fuck it, Ahmi had never been subtle, and the giant smile she was shooting at Yoonji was probably horrifying. Had it been anyone else but Yoonji, they would have turned right around and left for the sake of self-preservation.

 Given that it was Yoonji, however, she just rolled her eyes and went about getting herself a some water.

 “Ahmi, what happened to all the cups?”

 “Just use the ones from the drying rack.”

 “We’re kind of close to maxing your destruction budget this month.”

 “Shush. You can't prove shit.”

 Ahmi listened to Yoonji puttering around in the kitchen for a bit before coming in after her. She stood behind her, resting her chin in her hands and beamed expectantly at the other girl’s back.

 “Stop whatever you're doing, Ahmi. I don't even have to look to know you're doing something stupid.”

 “What? I'm just curious.”

 “About what?”

 “You're back awfully late,” Ahmi sung the last word a bit, maybe having too much fun playing with fire.

 “The yogurt place was far.”

“Yeah? And?”

“And what?”

Ahmi gave up and waved her arms in the air a bit when she finally exploded, “how did the date go?”

Yoonji turned around, face blank as ever, and said, “okay, first thing, it wasn't a date. Second…”

“Yes?”

“You owe me extra compensation.”

Ahmi froze. “Wait, what?”

“I am willing to accept it in kimbap. Good night.” 

With that she stomped off into her room, leaving behind a gaping Ahmi. 

It took a few seconds for the taller girl to collect herself and when she did, all that she could think was a simple, ‘oh, dear…’

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz/dbo 25.05.17 lb

plain text version here.

i miss the purana waala punditji who used to show up for all the poojas. 😕😕😕

lol what's with this weird 90s indipop type music for the maha-aarti? 🤔🤔🤔

also, does every aarti done by this family have to be a MAHAAAAA aarti? do they not have normal low key aartis like the rest of us plebs? 😗😗😗

what other occasion did they wear this floral set of outfits for? i'm fairly sure i've seen it before. 🤔🤔🤔

has to be one of shivaay's wedding functions with tia, i guess. 😕😕😕

GOD WHY WON'T THIS AARTI GET OVER, DO WE HAVE TO REALLY WATCH THE WHOLE THING? ITNA DEKHNA THA, TOH SACH KI POOJA MEIN CHALI JAATI. USKA PUNYA TOH MIL JAATA. 😑😑😑

aur prasad bhi. #prasadKeLiyeKuchBhiKarega 🙃🙃🙃

wait what? when did anika see that pinky was behind the whole thing? is this an editing glitch???? or did i miss the scene???? 😟😟😟

amazing. she's hiding behind the most translucent fucking curtain in the fucking universe. goddddddddd anika. 🙄🙄🙄

yep. audio editing glitch. she hasn't discovered that it's pinky yet. 😶😶😶

OH MY GOD, THIS AARTI WON'T GET OVER. LIKE *MY* ARMS ARE GETTING TIRED JUST WATCHING IT. 😣😣😣

ouff WALK FASTER, ANIKAAAAAA!!!! 😩😩😩

ugh. prinku's here to ruin things as usual. 😒😒😒

... ok the oBros better get a direct access pass to heaven for this aarti, honestly. 😐😐😐

FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!! 😫😫😫

ouff, abhi dus ghante is reaction ko kheenchenge. 😒😒😒

like, i don't get why anika is SOOOOOOOO shocked. of ALL the people in the fam, pinky is the LEAST SURPRISING answer to ‘who could be behind this?’ 😕😕😕

oufffffff, this episode is going to really test my patience. and im just 7.5 fucking minutes in. 😣😣😣

... and the aarti is STILL on. STILL. matlab yeh toh aarti nahi, TAPASYA ho gayi. lord shiva himself will be coming down and granting the oBros boons for their penance and dedication by the end of the episode. 🙄🙄🙄

finally, the aarti is picking up pace, at least. 😐😐😐

anguished glances exchanged. shivaay notices, but decides to play it cool. 😶😶😶

this mahasangam has been mostly hit and miss, but i'd like to thank it for giving me my shivaay/gauri brOTP. 😌😌😌

what was that look that shivaay and om exchanged??? 🙁🙁🙁

SWARNNNNNN AKSHAR. #vadeLogVadiVadiBaatein 😏😏😏

lmao anika, really? afterrrr everything she's said to you, you're like this is a "galat fehmi"?? girl, you're 7 different types of stupid, honestly. 🙄🙄🙄

LMAO THIS JANKYASS "KUL PATRI". they didn't even erase the "guides" properly. 😂😂😂

if it was me in this situation, watch me fuck up my otherwise good handwriting while writing in the kul patri. 🙈🙈🙈

i just noticed that they seem to have recycled sumo's mangalsutra and given it to gauri? or maybe it's not the same one, but the design is pretty similar. 😐😐😐

awww, jhanvi's happy sigh. 😊😊😊

ouff, just write it. or don't. make up your mind. 😒😒😒

LMAOOOOOO OM, GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELF. 🙄🙄🙄

gauri be like BITCH, PLAY ALONG. 😟😟😟

hahahahahahaha, check and mate. shivaay totally fucked you over. 😆😆😆 

HAAAAAAAA. I LOVE IT. HE WRITES IT IN HIMSELF. I FUCKING LOVE IT. 😈😈😈😈😈😈

also, amaaazing how anika and om have the exact same handwriting in devanagari calligraphy. 😇😇😇

now you can't blame her. she did the best she could. your bitch ass couldn't commit to the act. 🙄😒😒😒

finally. anika's seen the light. 😐😐😐

haaaaaye. pretty pretty babies. 😍😍😍😍😍😍

ugh, i like this song, but why THIS version, instead of the male one? that version is better! 😫😫😫

god om, you're the worstttttttttt. 😑😑😑

lmao honestly pinky. do you think this is endearing you to jethani ji? she likes her bahu, you know... like ONE SHOULD. 🙄🙄🙄

god pinkyyyyyyyyy, you're honestly so fucking terrible. like, ok, you're allowed to have opinions on anika, however wrong they are, coz your son is married to her. but where the fuck do you get off spewing such bs about GAURI, when jhanvi just told you that she loves her and thinks she's perfect? 😠😠😠

THAAAAAAAANKKKKKKK YOUUUUUU JHAAAANVIIIIII. YOU'RE HONESTLY THE FUCKING BEST. 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

god, why did they dispatch her off to DBO, when her sanity is sooooo desperately needed in IB????? 😩😩😩

ohhhhhhhhh boy. oh boy oh boy oh boy. looks like anika won't have to do khulaasa after all. mummeh is hellbent on phodofying her own bhaanda. 😶😶😶

lord give me patience, i am about to cut a bitch. 😡😡😡

what's he gonna do? what? WHAT? 😧😧😧

of all the phones that have met their demise at shivaay's hands, this one had the most noble death. #salute #trueMartyr 😌😌😌

how was he certain that the kalam would break? what was his plan if it didn't???? 🤔🤔🤔

lollllllllll shivaay, you're making it SO FUCKING obvious. 🙄🙄🙄

also haaaaaa! fuck you pinky. 🙃🙃🙃

why is the room decorated for suhaag raat???? 😶😶😶

oh boy she has a glass of milk also. yikes. 😬😬😬

why's he asking HER, as if SHE did it? she was with him the whole time. 🙄🙄🙄

"hum din mein mombatti kyun jalayenge???" #askingTheRealQuestions 😂😂😂

IS HE FUCKING MAD?????????????? 😫😫😫😫😫😫

LMAOOOOOOOOO. and that's that. happy now, om? 😂😂😂

wait what???? WHY IS BUAMAA TRYING TO DRUG OMKARA???? OH GOD, IS SHE EVIL????? 😫😫😫😫😫

oh thankkkkk god. some distraction from the crappiness. 😥😥😥 

loooooking goooood, rudy boyy! 😘😘😘

oh no, back to this. for once i don't want to see a shivika scene. TAKE ME BACK TO RUDRA IN MEERUT!!!!!!!! 😩😩😩

girl, you're the worst at hiding shit . just tell him. 😶😶😶

yay, back to rudra! 😊😊😊

matlab kuch bhi????? aise kaise kisi bhi ladki ka haath awaiiii pakad liya???  😟😟😟

LMAO THE MUSIC. SO CHEESY. 🙄🙄🙄

... ok she looks A LOT like amrapali (kamini)??? 😯😯😯

down to the mole around the mouth/chin area! they could really play sisters! 

oh my god, why is she crying?!?!!?!? 😟😟😟😟😟😟

cry baby meets bigger cry baby. 😂😂😂

yikes, i don't like her already. 😬😬😬

i have the same face and reaction as rudra right now, honestly. 😒😒😒

ok what is this garbage? is this what i had to give sumo up for? FUCK THAT! 😤😤😤

fwding this cheesy ass BS coz i honestly can't. 

what does he mean that the bride isn't marrying the guy???? isn't this a shaadi ka ghar???? the bride's house??? WHAT EVEN IS HAPPENING????THIS IS SO FUCKING STUPID. GOD. 😡😡😡

lmaooooooooooo gauri is highhhhhh. 😂😂😂

and om is the established charasi of the relationship, lol. 😇😇😇

omg her laugh is adoraaaaaable. why is she soooo damn cute? it defies the laws of science! 😍😍😍

lol nandi is gonna be her cow, isn't it? 😐😐😐

*angrily yelling* “ARE YOU SAYING I'M ALWAYS ANGRY?????”

idiot. 😒😒😒

"ab shankarji ka naam pe aapka naam rakha hai, toh aap kya teesri aankh khol ke hamesha humare peeche lage rahenge???" 

OMFG YAAAAS GIRL, ASK HIM. 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

seriously, it's like the ghost of old shivaay is possessing him. 😐😐😐

getting this girl highhh is the best thing that has ever happened. 😌😌😌

oh my heart. this angel. i love her so much. she deserves sooooo much better. 😥😥😥😥😥😥😥

run away, girl. just run away and find yo'self a better man. 😣😣😣

"KADOOO PATA THA!" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

YESSSSSSSS! DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCHHHHHH HER!!!!!! 😠😠😠

oh gauri, bade bhaiyya ko dekh dekh ke hi toh yeh aisa ban gaya hai. ab bade bhaiyya ne u-turn mar diya toh yeh akela pad gaya apne is kameenepan mein. 😕😕😕

"one for all, all for one" my ass. 🙄🙄🙄

lol "baarish". this adorable munchkinnnn. 😚😚😚

wow. that was some super quick sobering up. 😐😐😐

girl, just LEAVEEEEEEEEEEE. honestly, leave his fucking assssss. 😒😒😒

god, from the frying pan to the fire. 😩😩😩

ok, so he knows that it's someone from the inner circle. just... hit him with the truth, anika. just rip off the bandaid. 😬😬😬

lmao ok, doesn't look like SHIVAAAAY SINGH OBEROIIIIII is handling it very well after all. 😂😂😂

GIRL WHY DID YOU COME BACK???????? 😣😣😣

is buamaa evil or not? or did she just try and drug him to get him to MELLOW THE FUCK DOWN, coz he needs it. 😒😒😒

but seriously, could people stop trying to drug omkara? he has drug issues for godssakes. 😐😐😐

lmao ok, i'm #teamBuaMaa again. 😊😊😊

yaaaaaaass girl, stand up to him. #teamGauri4eva 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

yeah, your hair flick isn't remotely as cool as shivaay's hair flick. stop trying so hard. 🙄🙄🙄

ohhhhhh boyy. shivaay is not handlingggggg it well. 😬😬😬

GREAT. JUST GREAAAAAAAAAAT. MUMMEH KA KOI NAYA DRAMA SHURU HO GAYA. 😑😑😑

OH LORD WHAT EVEN... ugh, do i haaaaaave to watch tomorrow? it’s my day offff, i just want to be happyyyyy. 😩😩😩😩😩

[turnabouttoothbrush]

Metal Gear High, Chapter Two

Hi everyone.

I realized I’d be remiss - and slightly hypocritical - if I failed to mention that I, myself, have totally kicked around the idea of an MGS high school AU before. And at this point I really can’t promise that I won’t eventually write it.

Of course, readers, the difference between this fic and that (hypothetical) one is that my AU is totally tongue-in-cheek while this one is being played straight for some dumb reason. Also mine still has bipedal tanks. So fuck you.

Anyway let’s get started.

Lunch came after the first two math classes and Adam could feel his brain starting to slowly fry. It wasn’t that the courses were hard, they were actually about a semester behind what he had been studying back in New York, but the substitute, Ms. Silverburgh,

I literally do not understand the rationale behind making Meryl a teacher while Snake and fucking Ocelot and Big Boss are students.

On the plus side, at least we don’t get some Meryl-bashing on the side along with our Solicon on the side?

was just so annoying. She had called Adam up to the white board no more than four times to demonstrate the required steps in solving a problem she should have been able to herself. The fact that she was just a few years older than him, and Hal seemed to be spending more time starring at her ass, also annoyed him.

Why should he care that Otacon is staring at someone’s butt?

Hey, author, you know throwing a rarepair in here would make it marginally more interesting, or at least unique...

Adam was just happy to find the cafeteria and maybe find some food that wasn’t too toxic.

>hot lunches at a public school >fit for human consumption

lol

Hal led the way, quietly moving past the growing hoard of starving students and led him into the cafeteria and the line.

French fries, hot dogs, burgers, and some bags of chips. If it wasn’t deep friend, then it wasn’t on the menu.

What happened to Michelle Obama??

Adam sighed and paid for a coffee and a small container of French fries. He could tell he would need to start bringing his own lunches.

“Are you going to have anything else?” Hal asked, leading Adam to a table in the corner, away from the crowd that seemed to be gathering in the middle of the cafeteria.

Is there a fight going on?

“No,” Adam said. The cafeteria exploded in cheers.

Oh.

So, yes.

“What’s happening over there?” He asked.

“That would be the Snakes having lunch.” Hal hummed, pouring ketchup on his hotdog.

“You mentioned them this morning, who are they?” Adam picked at his fries.

“John and Adam Milton.

Whuh?

They’re in our homeroom together. John is the older one, has the ragged bandanna? Dave is his younger brother.

Did you just fucking typo “Dave” as “Adam”?

Also, the author has a “tee hee, see if you can guess the reasoning behind the Snakes’ last name!” A/N at the end of the chapter (don’t worry, I only skipped to the end for the author’s note. You can do that on AO3.) The fact that it’s a Paradise Lost (John Milton) reference is extremely bleedin’ obvious.

(By the way, where the hell are Liquid and Solidus? I can excuse not having Venom, but...)

They’re the Metal Snakes most prestigious sports players.” Hal said.

Adam frowned. “What sport?”

“CQC. Close quarter combat. Think of it sort of like wrestling and karate.

And speaking of the author, they have a shitload of Omegaverse fics.

John is an absolute power house; he can drop a guy flat in three seconds and holds the current unbroken record and is first in nationals and last year was the top contender for the international ranking. Dave is about four, maybe five, seconds and is second in the national standing.” Hal explained.

“I know what it is,” Adam said, distracted as a loud cheer filled the cafeteria followed by chanting of ‘John’. “But why are they cheering?”

Dave is lighting John the fuck up with an aerosol can and a lighter.

Hal paused, and then smiled. “Their appetites are insane. John especially, and well, he’ll eat everything and anything placed in front of him.

Dave too, although John usually eats more than Dave.”

“Don’t they eat at home?” Adam asked, finishing off his fries.

Actually, with regard to that video, I find it kind of hilarious that this fic apparently has an eating contest between BB and Solid when BB canonically had an eating contest... with Kaz.

He didn’t wait to listen to Hal’s response when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out and saw a text from Joy.

‘Are you okay?’

‘I’m fine.’ He responded.

‘Eat more than coffee.’ Joy responded.

Adam’s lips quirked and he pocketed his phone, turning to watch the crowd as Hal quietly ate his hotdog.

“And the guy in military clothing?” Adam asked, catching a glimpse of the slicked back blond hair as he stood on a cheer, encouraging the students to continue to cheer.

If Kaz is a cheerleader then WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU PUT HIM IN A CHEERLEADER UNIFORM

“You mean Kaz Miller?” Hal asked. “He knows everything about everyone. He knows the gossip, the black mail, and every dirty trick in the book. He manages the cheer leading squad, which his sister, Eve,

Wait what

is the captain of.

Hey, I’ve had as many run-ins with bitchy cheerleaders as the next guy, and yeah maybe the whole “bitchy popular bully cheerleader” trope is based in some truth, but... c’mon, it’s just bad writing. When you use clichés, you gotta use ‘em carefully - use ‘em with some meaning behind them - and that’s not what’s going on here.

If you get in bad with him, I can tell you that your social life will be dead within the week and I’ve known a few people who had to leave the school district because of his actions.” Hal said.

“Has he come after you?” Adam inquired.

Hal hesitated and placed his half-eaten hot dog on his plate. “Um, well, he did, sort of, a long time ago when I transferred here, but my Dad is one of the science teachers here and he failed Kaz so the bullying stopped.”

Hahahahahahaha author you idiot that would just make him bully him more for having his dad step in.

Also fuck Huey. :)

“And… what’s her name?” Adam scrunched up his nose.   “Eve? She’s with John since forever and she’s actually beaten up some girls who were interested in John. With Kaz at her back, she’s a deadly force.” Hal whispered.

I LITERALLY CANNOT COMPREHEND WHY YOU WOULD WRITE AN EVA-BASHING FIC

THE ONLY ONE GETTING IN THE WAY OF BIG BOSS AND OCELOT’S RELATIONSHIP WAS BIG BOSS

ALSO KAZ AND A CARDBOARD BOX ON THE BEACH

Adam turned back to the crowd, sipping his coffee slowly as he watched the crowd.

*glasses pull*

Paging the department of etc. etc.

At last, the final class of the day and Adam couldn’t be more thrilled. He thought he had seen Kaz in the geography course with Eve but he tried to hide from them.

As he stepped into the second language classroom he was startled to see John and Dave sitting next to each other in the back of the class, the only empty seat next to John.

of course it was

“Welcome Adam.” The curled tone of his voice

and Adam paused, surprised at the teacher who stood in front of the white board. He gestured to the empty seat.

“I am Mr. Furian,

Why can’t we have a teacher just straight-up called the Fury? C’mon, author, what’s stopping you? Besides your own cowardice, that is.

please take a seat,” he said in perfect Russian.

Adam’s lips curled.

“Thank you.” He responded, taking the empty seat.

Mr. Furian turned his back to the class, starting to write in Cyrillic on the white board.

QQ: Why does this small-ass high school have a Russian class when mine, the largest in the state, only had French, Spanish, German, and Latin?

I mean, Ocelot in canon basically has a “yes” in his languages box, so the author could have easily gone with something much more likely, like Spanish or... Spanish. And we’ve seen BB speaking Spanish (well, Spanglish, anyway) in-game before, so...

Adam dug into his backpack, pulling out his binder when a crumpled piece of paper landed on the floor next to him. Adam glanced at John who nodded at the paper. Frowning, but keeping an eye on Mr. Furian, he picked up the note and uncurled it.

‘I like your scarf.’

Adam scowled, his lips turning down as he hurled the note back at John and proceeded to tune him out for the rest of the class even as John threw a few more notes at Adam’s feet.

Adam did spare John a few glances and noticed him starting to nod off then jerking awake. David next to him was sprawled across his desk, his mouth parted, quietly snoring.

I really hope the Fury whips out his flamethrower for inattentive students, because otherwise what’s the point.

When the bell rang, Adam left the class before the others and escaped the school, breathing in the cool autumn air

So it’s still towards the beginning of the first semester? Lmao geez he really needs to chill out about being the new kid, then.

Or is this just a small high school thing? Hate to bring up my old high school again, but literally no one noticed or cared if someone suddenly appeared, disappeared, died, enrolled, dropped out, or transferred at literally any point in the schoolyear. I suppose it could have just simply been because there were so dang many students...

and letting that calm his thoughts.

He shoulders his backpack and started walking home, following the map app on his phone.

And getting hit by a car.

Adam was checking on the mac and cheese in the oven when he heard the Ford mustang pull up outside. With some hot mitts, he pulled it out of the oven and placed it on an empty spot on the table before closing the oven door with his hip. He turned around and dug out the paper plates and plastic forks from the grocery bag and set the table as he listened to the front door open. They hadn’t managed to unpack much of everything. That would be the weekend goal.

Joy entered the room and she smiled, tiredly, when she saw the mac and cheese.

“That rough, huh?”

“Couldn’t be bothered to make anything even marginally more complex?”

Mac and Cheese. It was his favourite ever since he was a kid and…

He hesitated.

I realize this was probably supposed to go in a ‘dead dad’ direction, but I still want to believe Ocelot is a werecat.

“It smells delicious.” Joy said, gripping his shoulder.

Adam tried to smile, really, but it was more of a grimace.

“How was your day?” He asked.

“Oh you know, low budgets, kids with emotional problems, a few gifted students, and a few trouble makers. The usual.” Joy said. “How about you?”

Adam hesitated before he told her about his day, about everything. Dave, Hal, John, Eve,

It’s still not spelled like that.

and Kaz.

It was their promise to be honest to each other, especially in light of the circumstances of recent months.

They were sitting at the table now, eating.

“So why do you think he threw that note?” Joy asked.

Because the author had a bingo cliché board they reeeeeeeally wanted to get as many spaces on as possible before abandoning the fic.

“I don’t know? Maybe he was bored or something. He kept falling asleep too.” Adam sighed.

“Just take baby steps, alright, Adam?” Joy said after a few moments.

“Yes, Boss.”

He calls his mom “Boss”

Joy smiled.

To Be Continued...

Kahahahaha no it won’t. This fic hasn’t been updated in like a year. In fact, glancing through their profile, the author has a marked tendency of starting multichaptered fics that they never finish. (Incidentally, one of their Omegaverse fics is 21 fucking chapters. I don’t want to know.)

All you fanfic authors out there... I really encourage you to get all your shit written out before you start uploading. It might slow down your fic update schedule - potentially by a lot - but it’ll make your chapter update schedules shorter & more consistent, plus it’ll ensure that you don’t just abandon fics. I mean, as dumb as this fic is, it still had a couple people who liked it, and the author did get some comments from people wanting updates!

There’s no accounting for taste, I guess...

Well, that’s the end of that, then. I think I’ll do a leetle more in-depth poke into the author’s profile for something good to spork, but other than that we’re done here. I’ve got other things to do.

See y’all! Hopefully I can update again tomorrow!

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 03.03.17 lb

ouff, is raat ki subaah nahi. if there are any time lags where DBO is behind IB, i’m sure they’ll have caught up to this timeline/universe by now. 😒😒😒

still no idea what’s happening in that show or where it is. will find out when i watch this weekend. 😐😐😐

oh tia, don’t make promises you can’t keep. just take dobin and go be happy with your baby, somewhere far, far away. 😕😕😕

girrrrrrrrrl loveeeeeee. my girlsssssssssss! i need them to be besties now. 👯🏽👯🏽👯🏽

is tia/navina leaving the show for good? 😟😟😟

but i love her sooooo muchhhhh. she’s been here since the start. i can’t imagine the show without her! aw man, i’m sad now. 😥😥😥

ok google says “just a few days’ break”. thank god. 😌😌😌

lmaooooo ok now that’s 2 ex gfs of shivaay telling him to get his head out of his ass and tell anika he loves her already. 😆😆😆

ok worst consolation ever, rudra. be a little more compassionate to your choti maa. 😗😗😗

yeah yeah yeah dadi. praise be. now shush. 🙄🙄🙄

i hope you go to haridwar/tirupati/kashi/wherever to offer thanks to all the gods. and don’t bother coming back soon, thanks. 😐😐😐

sorry i’m being such a bitch. i just can’t stand dadi anymore. bleargh. 😔😔😔

damn that swagger towards wife. *fanning self* 😍😍😍

“pati parmeshwar”!!!!!!!!!! 

my kids. my children. my babies. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

oh ho it’s gonna be a dil bole oberoi moment. pass. fwding. 😒😒😒

poor pinky is still gobsmacked in the bg. someone console her better. jhanvi, please! do something! 😫😫😫

sigh. svetlana. why can’t you just forget the damn mission? fuck the mission, and just be happily married to om. like… you’re getting the best oberoi boy, and you’re throwing it all away for some half-assed cause. 😑😑😑

om’s face. MY OLD BOY IS BACK!!! (at least in this show. and that’s all i really care about rn.) 😚😚😚

eeeeeeeeeeee. i missed these two idiots and their #shivika shipping ways. 😇😇😇

imagine being a guest at this wedding. how do you even begin to describe what went down? 😐😐😐

“so shivaay singh oberoi throws the wedding planner out. maybe she messed up the arrangements? and then there was a moment where he snatched his brother’s phone… yeah, the one that’s an artist… and he threw it in the fire! i guess he was in a real bad mood. and then the wedding planner came back with the bride’s brother! yeah and then it turns out the bride was pregnant by him. YES, THE BROTHER’S CHILD. well no, not her real brother, but the guy who we thought for all this while was her brother. he was actually her husband. and the bride’s mother and shivaay singh oberoi were fighting over some chip. like, they’re rich? how much do SD cards even cost, why couldn’t they each buy their own chips? oh but turns out the kapoors have no money, after all. don’t know how and why they’re on the board of so many companies then. also mr. kapoor apparently died years ago, so who’s the man we’ve been meeting all this while at those board meetings? oh and shivaay singh oberoi is married to the wedding planner. who had amnesia. but not really. apparently they were faking it. rich people and their weirdass kinks, i tell you. they started eye-fucking in front of everyone right after the bride left. and after standing there and witnessing all this for hours, THEY DIDN’T EVEN GIVE US DINNER. I’M NEVER ACCEPTING ANOTHER INVITE TO SHIVAAY SINGH OBEROI’S WEDDING AGAIN. OF WHICH I’M SURE THERE WILL BE ONE MORE IN A MONTH OR TWO. 😒😒😒” 

lol, after a long, lonnnnnnnnng time, finally a GOOD MORNING for shivaay. he can drink his kaali coffee in peace without worrying that there’s acid in it. 😅😅😅

ew, what’s anika wearing??? 😒😒😒

who has the time to kaatofy apple every time? pfffft. 🙄🙄🙄

ooooh, pati parmeshwar sexily biting the same apple. (without kaatofying!) 😏😏😏

pffffft, you don’t even drink tea, shivaay. 🙄🙄🙄

lol “2 rs. naatak”. i love how surbhi’s “2 rs.” is seeping into anika’s vocabulary. 😆😆😆

“SAB naatak tha?” 

aw man, his face. what a bechaara billu. 😘😘😘

the real “faraq games” start now. without the amnesia and role play to hide behind. 😏😏😏

okaaaaaaay? that was very weird, abrupt editing? 🤔🤔🤔

okay shivaay, put the damn knife down. you know, you need to discuss your kinks with your partner and get their consent before you introduce knife play in the bedroom. 😐😐😐

also, you could have just sexed the confession outta her (by blowing on her face. apparently she’s into that. 😕😕😕) would have been so much more effective than the knife, which she doesn’t give a fuck about. 

the weirdass editing is really ruining any impact this scene can have, both comedic/sexy & romantic. it’s really pissing me off. 😒😒😒

THE VFX JESUS CHRIST. THE WORST. THE ABSOLUTE WORST. 😬😬😬

hahahahahaha, she just gender reversed the famous zorro scene on him. amazinggggggg. you go, girl. 😂😂😂

lmaooo his face. and him trying to bachaofy his izzat. 😂😂😂😂😂

hahahahahahaha, look at him hiding from jhanvi. 😂😂😂

OMG YES, LOOK AT MY PRAYERS BEING ANSWERED. DADI’S GONE TO AMRITSAR. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

lollllllll anikaaaaa, trying to goad him. 😆😆😆

him trying to shush her. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

lmao she’s sooooo cheeeky. i love herrrrrr. 😍😍😍

whuttttttttttttttt? shivaaaaay, do you not remember what an asshole randhawa is???? you hated him!!!!!!!! 😯😯😯

i mean… i hate to be team tej here, but ugh, god, i don’t like that acp. 😖😖😖

SHIVAAY!!!!!! STOP DEFENDINGGGGG HIM. oufff oh. 😑😑😑

when pinky and shakti make sense, you know this show is going pear shaped. shivaaaay, samajh jao! 😬😬😬

… thought pinky would have sudharofied and switched to #teamAnika, but apparently not ALL my prayers are being answered. 😕😕😕

PRINKU SAY NO. SAY NOOOOOOOOOOO. 😩😩😩

oh my god. this fucking idiot girl. 😤😤😤

ugh shivaaaaaaaaay. tu apni shaadi par concentrate kar na, baaki ka woh khud dekh lenge. har baat mein manmaani aur taang adaana. 🙄🙄🙄

ok i like anika’s sari, but the blouse. ughhhh, another one from the ‘white girl at coachella’ pile. 😟😟😟

oh my god, why is prinku vomiting? is it just anxiety nausea or an indication that sanskaaaari prinku has been up to some ~~~non-sanskaari activities without protection???? 😱😱😱😱😱😱

anika, it’s pointless. this idiot girl hasn’t stood up for a single thing she’s wanted in her damn life. 😒😒😒

seriously, i’m on #teamPinky. this is all gonna blow up in his face and shivaay’s gonna get blamed for this. oufffff. 🤦🏽🤦🏽🤦🏽

shakti, for fuck’s sake. pick a side and stick to it. must you be waffling like this all the fucking time???? 😒😒😒

lolllllllllll, tej’s face @ shakti’s reaction. 😂😂😂

lo, aaa gayi! billu ko takkar dene waali billo rani!!! 😼😼😼

wonder how many generations she’s gonna stick around for in this show now? shivaay and anika should take out life insurance and hire protection. not just for themselves, but also for their kids and grandkids, if we’ve learnt anything from qubool hai. 😶😶😶

also, HOWWWWW FUCKING RIDICULOUS, THAT SHE’S BEEN CAST TO PLAY PRIYANKA’S SAAS???? amrapali is 28. TWENTY FUCKING EIGHT. ONE YEAR OLDER THAN SURBHI C. THE SAME AGE AS SURBHI J. SIX YEARS YOUNGER THAN NAKUUL. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? THIS IS EVEN WORSE THAN WHEN MANSI SALVI HAD TO PLAY NAKUUL’S MOM. 😡😡😡

OMG BITCH YOU DIDN’T JUST! no one talks about my baby sahil this way!!!!!!! 😠😠😠

shivaay, i hope to god you’re going to take this as an indication and make this rishta go away! (i know it’s not gonna but COME ON!!!!!! SHIVAAY, YOU BETTER SAY SOMETHING, SO HELP ME GOD!) 😩😩😩