#Grug Boomer

[wojakgallery]

Title/Name: Grug Boomer wakes up Grug Zoomer Wojak Series:  Grug (Variants), Boomer (Variant), Zoomer (Variant) Image by: 'Bizonacci' on YouTube Main Tag: Grug Wojaks

[infectiouspiss]

"gen alpha is so cooked they don't use cds" is the new "gen z don't know what a vhs is" which is the new "millennials don't know what a rotary phone is" which is the new "gen x don't listen to the radio enough fuck television" which is the new "boomers listen to the radio too much read a book" which is the new "generation ???? read too much go work in the factories" which is the new "generation ???????? work in the factories too much go work in the fields" which is the new "kids should stop working in the fields and start hunting their food" which is the new "grug baby stupid. grug baby eat rocks. grug throw baby away"

[clanes]

Boomers be like "Nobody wants to work" And then make you solve their riddles-three to be considered for an interview. If I have a giant boulder blocking my pathway, and I need help, and fucking Grug from Cave 7 says "Me can smash rock open" I'm not gonna care if he writes it in the paleolithic equivalent of Comic Sans. If Grug can crush boulder, let Grug crush the fucking boulder.

I saw a Tik Tok about dos-and-donts of making resumes and like

Ooooooo, I wanna bully employers so fucking badly. Talking about shit like "Yeah, your name is important, but don't make the font super big" or like, "Don't put a photo of yourself", "don't put your year of graduation" Pretty much like "Don't stylize it"

Like, it's okay! The big scary words and pictures can't hurt you! They aren't gonna pop out of the paper and shit on company time.

If I was faced with a "bunny-ear lawyer" situation, I dunno. Maybe I just wouldn't care about the fucking bunny-ears and let them do their fucking job.

[fapangel]

Boomers on social media are a powerful force. The sheer amount of energy, information and memes that flow through a Whatsapp group is staggering. And Trump speaks their language.

As one anon so succinctly put it; “Trump is fluent in Grug.” 

[gloom-and-doom-in-my-room]

Random Stuff that was said/did during school

First Period

(We were watching My Octopus Teacher. It's test week, and we just finished our reading test so we were watching movies)

Me: I swear, if he says 'incredible creature' one more time! Use synonyms dude, spice it up! Dandy Critter! Fantastic Beast! Geez!

Me: I get that you want to respect the environment, but like... that's your best friend. An octopus you spent a third of your year on. AND YOU'RE GOING TO LET THEM GET EATEN?! If a shark was about to eat [Redacted] you bet I would jump in to save her, oml.

Me: Why is he getting attached to an entity he knows only lives for a year?

Bathroom Break

Me: I don't get sleep. Why can't we just replace it? It's my solitary time.

Random girl who also has no need to use the bathroom: It's our brain's resting time. You need rest.

Me: I need to sneak downstairs at 3 am to get three cans of caffeinated soda while wearing a blanket.

Second Period

(Computer class. Me and two other kids, referred to as [Redacted1] and [Redacted2] are doing a Minecraft group project where we beat the Wither. It started a few weeks ago and we have two days a week to do it. We have three sessions left. Our team is a fucking mess.)

[Redacted1]: My skin is an old man

Me: Why is your skin an old man again?

[Redacted1]: I didn't like the other skins so I went, why the heck not

Me: We don't Really need a house

[Redacted1]: Yes we do.

[Redacted1]: *Dies and loses half our stuff, setting us back by a lot* *Constantly on one heart and one health*

[Redacted2]: I'M ON FIRE AHH

Me: Where are you guys?! I'M LOST AGAIN!

Me: *Spams the chat with finger guns*

(The world's name is teamwork)

Me: What's gonna work?

[Redacted1]: Teamwork

Me: *Finger guns*

Everyone: Lost, dying, hungry, has no idea what we're doing

Me: I am so proud of this team

Also me: We're all idiots.

Me: All the Skeletons are now named Arlo. Arlo must not be harmed.

Kid from other, separate group trying to beat the Ender dragon: Have you guys found a stronghold yet?

Me: Wut

Teacher: This is very amusing. I enjoy watching you three.

Me: Well, now I know how my favorite youtubers feel.

Me: Ever feel like screaming? And cussing? As you run through the halls?

[Redacted1]: Screaming, yes. Cussing, no.

Period 3

(Back in the classroom I was in this morning. Test week is weird.)

[Redacted]: Oh, hey gloom-and-doom-in-my-room! Long time, no see, how are you?

Me: Horrible.

[Redacted]: Really? Why?

Me: I thought I had accepted the fact that I'm going to die, but apparently not! Also, I'm probably going to fail my computer class project.

([Redacted] is on the other side of the classroom in the same computer class elective as I am, so he knows about our garbage fire of a group.)

[Redacted]: I can tell.

Me: Sorry we're so loud. We are a fricking mess.

Teacher: *Puts on Croods: New Age*

Everyone: *Cheers because that documentary was boring*

Me: Omg you two get a room! Eep and Guy: *Continue to greet each other in a weird tone while in danger.*

Me: I want to punch the Bettermans in the face.

Grug: *Mocks Guy's slang*

Me: Boomer.

Lunch

(My friend and I were in separate classrooms all day despite usually having all our classes together. However, we are lunch buddies, meaning we sit next to each other at lunch every day to prevent contact with too many people.)

[Redacted]: Oh, hey you!

Me: Wazzup, dude

[Redacted]: Mom only packed one carrot. It's a big carrot though.

Me: What movie are you guys watching.

[Redacted]: Some boring documentary. I don't remember what it's called, something like 'Hidden lines' (It was Hidden Figures)

Period 4

Teacher: Time for the math test

Kid next to me: Can we not and say we did?

Me: I second, that sounds like fun

Kid: It's called lying

Me: Lying sounds fun

(After the test, back to Croods)

Me: *Draws picture that describes my day*

-----------------------------------------------------

This has been my day. I don' have the picture I drew with me so I can't show you, but it's me giving two thumbs up while grinning on a skateboard. Both myself and the skateboard are engulfed in flames. What makes this 10x better is the fact that I have no clue how to ride a skateboard.

[podcastpalace]

Why Millennials Are The New Greatest Generation by The Cracked Podcast ....

The script is different but the wording is always roughly the same. Every few months some retiring journalist, former tech-mogul or aspiring Tomi Lahren-type goes viral because they've had it up to *here* with these gosh darn millennials. Between their clamoring for single-payer healthcare and their complaining about unpaid internships, it's like they hate America or something. Why can't they appreciate what they've got and be exactly what the generation before wants them to be?

We've heard it a million times and, frankly, it's all bullshit. You know how we know? Because every generation has been lodging the same 4 complaints about their successors since the beginning of the written language (and probably before that too). Grug and all the other teens don't care about hunting mammoths like their fathers, they just sit around playing with those newfangled *wheels* all day. As long as we keep having kids, this will happen until the end of time.

On this week's podcast, resident Gen-X'er-in-chief Jack O'Brien welcomes young upstarts Katie Goldin, Brett Rader and Josh Sargent onto the show to discuss why this never-ending argument is bullshit. They discuss some flaws in logic behind popular anti-millennial rants and call out some shady statistics that news outlets circulate to prop-up these arguments.

And make sure to get tickets to our next LIVE Cracked Podcast, coming up on Saturday, May 13th at 7pm at the UCB Sunset Theatre in Los Angeles. Jack O'Brien is joined by Cracked's Carmen Angelica, Alex Schmidt and Michael Swaim, and comedian Blake Wexler to combine the podcast's two favorite topics: great moments in history and binge drinking. 

They'll discuss the drafting of the US Constitution, the Russian Revolution and other famous moments in history where everyone was completely sh*tfaced. Tickets are only $7 and available here: https://goo.gl/PWmm2y

Footnotes:

Article: Cracked: This Millennial Rant Deserves A Trophy For Being Most Wrong: https://goo.gl/7xeex8

Article: The Society Pages: Adventures in Garbage-Millennial Confirmation Bias: https://goo.gl/cri4JA

Article: Cracked: 5 Lies Millennials And Baby Boomers Believe About Each Other: https://goo.gl/lFWuCt

Article: Cracked: 4 Terrible Parts of Pop Culture (With Weird Bright Sides): https://goo.gl/fIEPXj

Article: The New Yorker: The Big Uneasy: https://goo.gl/RyCzrx

Article: The New Yorker: The "Founder" Generation's Creation Myth: https://goo.gl/Fn73e8

Book: Morley Winograd: Millennial Momentum: https://goo.gl/PfxdRb

This episode is brought to you by Audible (http://ift.tt/2qHBnO2) and Adam and Eve (www.adamandeve.com code: CRACKED).