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rivalsforlife · 4 years

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one more ahaha but the cherry blossom scene at the end of catch up game ch 3 because i'm still thinking nonstop about it all the time 👀👉👈

ABSOLUTELY I CAN also for anyone reading this go look at Mika’s art which inspired this scene. It’s the tumblr version so you can reblog it too, which you should do, even if you don’t read my long rambling,

okay once again rambling below...

Traditionally, Larry Butz arrived at any social gathering anywhere from half an hour to three hours later than the time he was told, so all things considered, he was actually early. Phoenix wasted no time informing him of the latest betrayal among their small elementary school friend group.

this is a direct callout to one of my friends from high school, where we started seriously considering telling her that any social event we were planning started an hour earlier than it actually did so that she’d make it there on time. We never did in case this turned out to be the time she actually made it on time, but still.

“Larry, remember that one time we were trying to make that gigantic hopscotch game, and we ran out of chalk?” He pointed an accusatory finger at Edgeworth, who sighed. “It turns out, Edgeworth hid it all along!”

Larry blinked, then shrugged. “Oh yeah, right, that. Well, I kind of had an idea…”

“Wh — You hid this from me too?! D-Death! The death penalty for the both of you!”

“Why does this all sound so familiar,” Edgeworth commented under his breath.

I think this part is mostly there so Larry actually does something because I couldn’t find any real way to fit him into this fic...? Anyways the dialogue there with Phoenix threatening the death penalty on Miles and Larry is pretty much directly lifted from the end of Turnabout Goodbyes, which is why Miles comments on it sounding familiar.

They continued on in that vein for some time, dredging up old elementary school memories. Phoenix proclaimed to be the only innocent member of that group, before Edgeworth brought up a set of very nice gel pens Phoenix reportedly stole from him. Phoenix and Edgeworth got caught up in their argument, and barely even noticed when Larry wandered away, joining Maggey and Gumshoe at the fishing pond while Franziska critiqued them.

This sort of familiar banter was normal. As Edgeworth teased in that same way he had ever since Phoenix first faced him in court, he had to wonder if he’d just imagined the way Edgeworth had been looking at him during the party. Maybe everything was fine, after all.

Not pictured: Phoenix and Miles leaning in closer to each other as they argue. too close. Larry tries to comment but neither of them hear him. Eventually he just walks away because he’s sick of third-wheeling with these two. It’s my firm belief that if there weren’t the court benches in the way that they need to slam, these two would slowly walk closer and closer to each other as they argue because they. uh. want to “intimidate” each other. that’s why they’re nose to nose like that. the whole courtroom is suddenly very uncomfortable.

Haha anyways also I think these two would pick the dumbest things to argue about all the time? Never seriously arguing, the just like bickering because they don’t know how to hold conversations about their feelings.

“You still haven’t explained exactly what happened to my gel pen set,” Edgeworth accused, as they circled around the argument for the third time.

Phoenix threw his hands up in the air. “I just forgot to return it! I didn’t know you were so bothered by it. You should have brought it up!”

“Back then? You were so sensitive. If I brought up that you might have upset me in the least, you would have burst into tears.”

“I wasn’t that sensitive.”

Edgeworth sighed. “Wright, you cried when I got a question wrong on a spelling test, because you thought I would be sad about it.”

“And you were!” Phoenix retorted. “You cried for like an hour!”

“Because when you started crying, I thought it was something I had to be ashamed of!”

More bickering, pretty much! Also I do think Phoenix cried A Lot and was super sensitive up until the whole Dahlia trial which traumatized him pretty badly...

Anyways the REAL story behind this incident which I am making up just now is probably that Miles was on the verge of crying because of Getting Something Wrong -- which I totally get, I absolutely almost cried over spelling tests as a baby -- and Phoenix picked up on this and realized his best friend was sad and started crying, which made Miles start to fully cry, and it just became a mess.

Meanwhile Larry with the 3/10 on his spelling test was just like “I don’t get what you guys are so upset about a 9/10 is great” which just makes them cry even more.

(Then Gregory probably found out about this incident and sat Miles down and gave him a speech about “everyone makes mistakes and it’s okay to not be perfect all the time, this is a learning opportunity and it shows you what you need to work on!”

That sentiment didn’t last very long.)

Wow I’m getting off topic, moving on --

Phoenix crossed his arms. “I remember this whole thing very differently than you do. You cried first.”

“I never cried in fourth grade.”

Phoenix leaned in and whispered into his ear, “Origami.”

“Do not bring that up!” Edgeworth hissed as Phoenix reared back, laughing.

I don’t know if you need to lean in super close and whisper that in his ear though Phoenix, that might be a bit unnecessary. Miles got lucky here in that his Eternal Shame over not being able to fold an origami crane in fourth grade overrode whatever reaction he undoubtedly would have had about Phoenix’s face being very close to his face.

Anyways this banter is here in the fic mostly because I really wanted to show them being all comfortable and happy with each other. That was a major thing I wanted to push as much as possible in these earlier chapters, that they do care about each other a lot even before we enter the more outright romantic territory.

“Regardless, I am certain you took my gel pen set, so don’t try to blame faulty memory on that one. I bet you carelessly used them all up, didn’t you?”

“Hardly! I wouldn’t even touch it after you left. It reminded me of you.”

Some of the fight left Edgeworth’s stance. “Really?”

“Well… yeah.” He wasn’t sure why the admission suddenly felt like a confession of an entirely different sort.

aw man Phoenix you brought feelings into your banter NOW what are you going to do.

I’m preeetty sure I have books that I lent to my friends in fourth grade that they never gave back so it’s of course not an inherently romantic thing, they probably just forgot it was mine and obviously aren’t going to bring it back now ten years later, but for Phoenix in this case it was probably more like “I borrowed these gel pens from Miles and then keep forgetting to give them back but was going to after winter break, and then he left, so I need to hold onto them until he comes back”. Miles was taken from his life so suddenly it probably had a huge effect on him, especially since he had few friends at the time and Miles made such a big impact on him.

The two of them sat underneath the tree in a sudden, serene quiet. They’d both discarded their suit jackets at some point, down to their dress shirts and waistcoats. Phoenix pretended not to notice the way Edgeworth’s eyes darted across the line of his shoulders and lingered longer than they should have.

I don’t ever really pay much attention to what people are wearing or what they look like at any particular time when I’m writing, but in this case I took extra care to make sure they were in the same outfits as in the art that inspired this!

Maybe I’ll ramble a bit more about that! Pretty much the “theme” of narumitsu week this year was “cherry blossoms”, so I wanted to find some way to incorporate them into this fic somewhere somehow. I decided to have that as a focus on Free Day because I enjoy having structure and wasn’t sure what to have for the day.

Some of this scene, mainly the picnic, is inspired by that one official art here. The first iteration of this chapter had everyone in it (with the obvious exceptions of Diego and Mia) but then I took out Maya and Pearl for reasons I explained when I was talking about the scene in chapter 6 where I decided to cut a lot of Maya’s scenes out of this fic... even though I love her a lot.

And of course when I thought about cherry blossoms and narumitsu I thought about Mika’s art, yes I am linking it again, which I believe she posted about a month or so before I started planning and I was Thinking About It Constantly. It’s gorgeous and since there was the perfect opportunity to use it here I just couldn’t resist and here we are.

Back to the paragraph: Miles attempted to subtly check Phoenix out. It was not subtle.

“Do you still have those gel pens?” Edgeworth asked, softer. “I think you owe me them, after everything.”

“Oh, shut up,” said Phoenix, but it was difficult to have a heated argument right now, for some unknown reason. “If I still have them, they’re in a box somewhere. Plus, they ought to have dried up by now.”

“I doubt it.” A faint smile was beginning to crawl on Edgeworth’s face. “Those gel pens were state of the art.”

“Sure they were,” Phoenix dismissed. “And, what, you’re going to use them? Sign your fancy prosecutor documents in bright pink?”

“What makes you think I don’t do that already?”

“You wouldn’t — oh, wait, of course you’d have customized ink in the same colour as your entire wardrobe, who am I even talking to…”

“Mhm.” Edgeworth brushed his bangs from his eyes, a motion that Phoenix’s brain decided to fixate on for some reason. “But really, you went to all the trouble of keeping the set, and you never used any of them?”

(Miles voice) “oh so you kept something as trivial as that for so long because they reminded you of me? Tell me more. Why do you want a reminder of me. What exactly do you think of me, Wright,”

hm pretty much as soon as Phoenix brought Feelings into this conversation the atmosphere kind of changed and you can now imagine Miles staring with the most adoring expression at Phoenix while Phoenix is ignoring this with such intensity that it doesn’t even show up in his narration. But he also watches the way Miles brushes his bangs from his eyes, so he’s not much better.

And thinking about it now this scene really went on for too long about gel pens hahaha...

“Objection!” Phoenix declared. “I used the blue one to write you letters at first.”

“Ah, of course you did. I never got any of those… How many did you send?”

“I don’t even want to know…”

Edgeworth hummed and looked off into the distance, where Gumshoe was demonstrating how to cast a line. “Your level of dedication is something else,” he said, as if to himself.

“Well, yeah. You were my only non-Larry friend. You were…” Phoenix swallowed. “You were important to me, you know? You saved me.”

“You keep bringing that up. You’ve more than returned the favor, you know that, don’t you?”

“I’m inclined to disagree.”

I don’t have a consistent headcanon about whether Miles got or read the letters, in this fic presumably von Karma intercepted them and got rid of them... and then presumably Miles ignored any that were sent to him as an adult.

Also these two are going to have ridiculous arguments about who saved who until they’re on their deathbeds, I’m sure.

Edgeworth turned back towards him as if to retort, but stopped halfway, his eyes widening slightly as he stared at Phoenix.

“... Something on my face?” Phoenix asked, trying to quell the feeling of some sort of anxiety that bubbled up when Edgeworth stared at him like that.

insert mikacherryblossomart.png

Miles turns away for one second and then suddenly oh no he’s even more gorgeous now

Edgeworth was silent for some time. Then, very softly, he said, “You have cherry blossom petals in your hair.”

“What? Do I?” He reached a hand up to brush them out, but Edgeworth stopped him by grabbing his wrist, freezing Phoenix.

“With your hair, you’ll never get them out like that.” With his spare hand, Edgeworth began to pick each individual petal from his hair. “You look so — silly, Wright.”

Partially a callback to the beginning of chapter 3, when they were kids:

“Y-Your hair,” Miles managed to say through stifled laughter. “One of the flowers fell into it.”

Phoenix hands shot up into his hair. “Really?”

“You look so silly, Phoenix.” When Phoenix failed to find the flower, Miles reached out. “Here, let me.”

Phoenix remained still as Miles reached up to the top of his head and picked the flower out of his hair. “Your hair’s really soft,” Miles said quietly, before handing it over to Phoenix. “Here you go.”

because Miles apparently remembered that it was difficult for Phoenix to get the petals from his hair the first time, and also, wanted an excuse to touch Phoenix’s hair again.

But also the dialogue and interactions are ONCE AGAIN INSPIRED BY MIKA based on this reply to my reply to the art on twitter. look at that you can go and retweet the art on twitter too!

Overall this gives us an accurate Thoughts to Speech translator for Miles:

Miles: You have cherry blossom petals in your hair and it is going to kill me.

Phoenix: What? Do I?

Miles: No, wait, don’t brush them out, I want to touch your hair because it is soft and this is the perfect excuse. You look so captivating.

if Miles had said that out loud though it would probably have killed both of them.

Phoenix let out an awkward, low laugh, starting somewhere deep within his chest. “R-Really.”

“Mhm.”

Edgeworth’s eyes locked with Phoenix’s, and time seemed to freeze. There was a sudden thrum of tension in the air, as if Phoenix were in a play and he’d suddenly forgotten his lines, forgotten he was supposed to be in a play at all.

(chanting) “kiss kiss kiSS KISS KISS --”

But before either of them could break the sudden spell over them, a fishing hook whirred through the air, and —

“Ack, I — I think I got it stuck!”

but of course that needs to be interrupted at the worst possible time because this is fanfiction and this is how things work!

“In the tree?! How did you even manage to get it that far?”

“Don’t worry about it, Maggey, I can climb up the tree and get it unstuck, just hang on —”

“No, no, if I just give it a big yank—”

“Maggey—!”

I broke the first rule of writing dialogue because I can’t really remember who’s supposed to be saying what. I think that Maya had a few lines here and then I didn’t change them since there were no dialogue tags...

Pretty much -- Maggey with her eternal luck tried to fish but released the line too early as she was swinging back so the line went back and got caught in the tree branches directly above Phoenix and Miles.

I think the dialogue progression goes Maggey -> Originally Maya but now either Larry or Franziska -> Gumshoe -> Maggey -> everyone going MAGGEY NO!!!

I remember going fishing with my grandpa once a long time ago and either I or my brother did get the fishing line stuck in a tree. would not recommend.

The branch above Phoenix and Edgeworth jostled, and pink petals burst all around them, fluttering down and catching in their hair and on their clothes. One petal even fell behind Edgeworth’s glasses.

They stared at each other for a moment, stunned, Edgeworth’s hand still loosely wrapped around Phoenix’s wrist, as Maggey shouted apologies from the distance.

There are no cherry blossom trees where I live so I have no idea if we’re even in the right season for this or if cherry blossom trees even behave this way - but I’m basing it off of... you know when it’s that point in fall where if you shake a tree branch leaves will just scatter everywhere? That.

Also RIP to the other four who were just having a grand old time fishing and then turn around seeing these two sitting really close to each other almost holding hands about two seconds away from a kiss... which they’d just interrupted...

And then — the most incredible thing happened, and Edgeworth began to laugh.

Phoenix could have catalogued all the laughs he heard from Edgeworth: the usual, short laughs often mistaken for a scoff by those who didn’t know him as well as Phoenix did; the triumphant, smug, courtroom laughs when he thought he had Phoenix cornered; to the quiet, restrained ones in private that were more of a hum than anything else. This laugh was new.

This was a full-on fit of laughter bubbling deep in his chest and spilling from his mouth, which Edgeworth quickly covered with his free hand, with the additional bonus of covering his reddening face. It wasn’t something hidden or faked or triumphant, it was genuine, and open, and Phoenix could swear it was one of the most beautiful sounds he ever heard.

Miles here is going through an emotional rollercoaster having been two seconds away from finally kissing the love of his life only to be interrupted at the worst possible time, which is just so on brand for the two of them that he can’t help but start laughing hysterically. Plus Phoenix probably looks absolutely shocked suddenly covered in petals, which doesn’t help.

Then the next two paragraphs are brought on by Phoenix Pining and also me wanting Miles Edgeworth to laugh more...

From my notes for this scene:

They stare at each other for a moment and laugh, and Miles’ laugh just utterly captivates Phoenix and makes him fall so completely in love immediately and oh no he is screwed he is utterly screwed.

So pretty much I had to encapsulate the “falling so completely in love immediately” part which I decided to do by focusing on Miles laughing. I wanted to draw a lot of attention to that which is why there are so many paragraphs dedicated to Miles laughing and Phoenix thinking about Miles laughing.

Trucy’s laughter always made the world feel a little brighter, and made Phoenix feel stronger. Edgeworth’s laugh did the opposite; it dislodged something inside of him, it weakened him, it made the whole world go soft and fuzzy around him. Instead of illuminating all the good in the world, it turned Phoenix’s world into one person.

More focus on Miles’ laughter but also... kind of drawing attention to Phoenix’s reaction to this being different from his reaction to other people he cares about laughing? Because feeling warm and happy when seeing someone you care about non-romantically laugh is normal, but then I wanted to make it clear that this is a different sort of feeling for Phoenix.

Also Phoenix has to realize this is a different sort of feeling for him because otherwise he could brush it off like he’s probably dismissed all of his romantic feelings throughout the years as “oh I’m just glad my friend is happy, and I rarely ever hear Edgeworth laugh so him being relaxed enough to laugh like that makes me feel happy too,” but it’s not what he’d expect if he just sees Miles as a friend. And it’s described as weakening in the paragraph because right now the subject of his romantic feelings for Miles isn’t something that Phoenix can fully or easily accept right now (as chapter 5 would indicate).

Edgeworth’s fit of laughter subsided, and he shifted his hand so he could look at Phoenix again, the hints of a shy grin peeking out between his fingers, his hair and his shirt and his face adorned with a sweet, gentle pink. It was like looking at an entirely different person — or, no, the same person, but with all armor off, all guards lowered.

Miles is very embarrassed right now but kind of... in a good way...? Like again, almost kissed the love of his life then rudely interrupted at the last possible moment, plus Phoenix’s whole reaction to the thing gave Miles the impression that Phoenix wanted to kiss him as well, so he’s feeling a little giddy. Plus he was just laughing a lot when he normally doesn’t do that. Overall he’s not used to expressing his emotions so he’s embarrassed and a little shy about it...

The part about Miles’ “hair and shirt and face adorned with a sweet, gentle pink” refers to both the cherry blossom petals (in his hair and clinging to his shirt and a bit on his face) and also him blushing quite a bit.

It all feels a little out of character honestly haha because Miles isn’t really the type to be blushing hardcore like this and be a little shy, buuut in this case I let myself get away with it because he’s dealing with romantic feelings he hasn’t ever dealt with at this level before, and it’s also out of character just enough to really strike Phoenix in the heart. You can just imagine him staring at Miles with the most lovestruck expression on his face because he hasn’t seen this side of Miles before and he loves it.

Phoenix’s heart stuttered in his chest, and may have stopped entirely.

He was screwed.

He was completely and utterly screwed.

And even Phoenix can’t deny that he’s super in love at this point.

I think I wrote this part, changed the words “screwed” to “doomed” right before posting, and then switched it back again for no particular reason. The Vibe just felt a little off but oh well.

Then the next chapter skips over the rest of this picnic but honestly Phoenix’s brain skipped over the rest of this picnic as well. Imagine the two of them just kind of standing around in a lovestruck daze for a while. I think Franziska had to physically drag Miles out of there. no one knows how Phoenix got home, not even Phoenix and least of all me!

But thank you Mika for requesting this!! And for drawing such incredible art for me to base the chapter around haha!!!

#dvd commentary meme #the catch-up game #asks

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soveryanon · 5 years

Text

Reviewing time for MAG147 X_X/

- We already knew that Annabelle was interested in stories – she was “the Story Spinner” in MAG123, had Gregory Cox instal a website to fish out what were basically statements. And her statement in itself feels a bit like a… crafted story, in-universe? It’s explicitly addressed to Jon, meant to be read by Jon, and it contained so many details reminiscent of Jon’s own infancy: both lived near the sea (Hunstanton/Bournemouth); both were raised by a female figure who didn’t hide her resentment (Annabelle’s mother for having to take care of a large family, Jon’s grandmother for having to take care of her son’s son); Annabelle tried to run away and Jon used to “explore” too far to the point of being brought back by the police; Annabelle left her home with a book (Five Go Down to the Sea) while Jon had been led outside by one (A Guest for Mr. Spider); both encountered The Web as kids and were presumably led to fit in Her scheme later on in their lives as young adults… but with enough nuances and straight-out differences (Annabelle coming from a large family while Jon was a single child without a close family, etc.) to clearly set them apart. This passage, especially, felt especially Dedicated To Jon?

(MAG147, Annabelle Cane) “The air was warm and humid as I snuck out of the house, filled with that slight smell of salt that even now… changed as I am… I still sometimes find myself missing here, in the grimy air of London.”

And what to think of the ~coincidence~ of Annabelle, future Web avatar, growing up in a family of eight children, having a distant mother – while her present Patron is referred as Mother-of-Puppets? Was it a genuine story, or a hybrid creation crafted from various other stories with threads interwoven to form other patterns? Annabelle herself raised the possibility, in a terrifying way (“Or perhaps I am simply telling you what you need to hear, in order to behave exactly as the Mother wishes you to. [STATIC, GRADUALLY INCREASING] Perhaps… I have never even seen a beach.”), and, indeed. Annabelle could be unreliable – we know that statement-givers can conceal information if they want:

(MAG121) OLIVER: And about two years before I came to your Institute, something happened – something I didn’t want to talk about. Didn’t even want to think about. I… [SIGH] I started to see them when I was awake. […] Even when I went to your Institute, tried to warn her, I could see them crawling through the corridors towards the Archives.

(“Lying” is a different matter – can you write a lie when making a statement, or would it work as long as you think/are convinced that an event took place a certain way? We’ve had an example, with MAG015, of events being objectively different from the way the statement-giver described them (“Take her, not me”). But with Annabelle… yeah, absolutely no idea if we’re to take what she said at face-value or not.)

And interestingly, I… don’t feel like we learned anything at all about Annabelle Cane’s actions or history: because she didn’t cover at all the parts of her avatar life that we had heard of. She barely scratched the surface of her transformation, with enough doubt to wonder if she had been led there or if it was a coincidence (something she highlighted, as she said that her experience as a kid “is what engendered in me that terror of spiders which eventually led to my volunteering at Surrey University” but it had been stated in MAG069 that… she hadn’t been told that the experiment was about arachnophobia), didn’t say a word about Neil Lagorio, nor what she was planning with the website in 2015. We only know that she has plans. She is. Terrifying.

- What she said about:

(MAG147, Annabelle Cane) “The Mother is the fear of manipulation and lost control made manifest. So perhaps it is our fear that projects Her influence on everything that happens. Like the mind, retrospectively assigning reason to our actions, so we fit whatever occurs into the neatest pattern we can, and declare Her web both intricate… and complete.”

indeed fits a LOT with the pattern we have seen of avatars reminiscing on the events that led them to their current life. Jude had insisted on her “burn-out”; Mike rationalised that he had always been a bit fascinated by falling, hence going for The Vast; Oliver described it precisely too:

(MAG121) OLIVER: I still remember the first time I tried to touch one. In my dreams, the night before, I had found my way back to my own street. I don’t know why I did it. I knew it was a stupid thing to do, walking past my own home in a dream, but I just– … Maybe I wanted it this way, I mean… when I stepped out the building that morning, I… didn’t turn towards the bus stop like I always do. I turned right instead, walked over to the little alleyway where I knew, some time in the next week, a young woman was… going to have a fatal aneurysm. […] So, I did some digging. Found the identity of a few crew members and started to track them down. I told myself that I didn’t know what I was looking for, but I did. Of course I did. […] I had never felt anything as cold as those veins. It was so… hm, patient. It… made me think of those winter mornings, when I was a kid, with no snow; just… frost and frozen mist over everything. Keeping the world in place, curling you up into yourself and… quietly waiting for you to lose your footing, to slip up and fall. Snap.

Annabelle herself insisted on the idea of control and manipulation when she was a kid, and Jon… Jon had insisted on the curiosity for novelty and on seeing. But if he had been touched, let’s say, by The Lonely, would he have retroactively described his exact same childhood as one of isolation, without any meaningful connection…?

- … I feel so stupid to have just assumed, all this time, that somehow, all Web avatars had to be interconnected to their patron, aware of the Big Plans? Because it was The Web and duh? But nop, apparently, Annabelle doesn’t know about The Web’s intentions (… if it has any “intention”, as Gertrude had questioned MAG145) – she could be lying but. Not Knowing What Your Patron Wants Of You seems to be a recurring thing in season 4, Jon had lamented about it in MAG145 too (which. was. worrisome.).

But Annabelle has her own plans, at the very least, and they apparently involve Jon:

(MAG147, Annabelle Cane) “I’m afraid I don’t actually have these answers for you; I’ve simply been… watching. I’m sure you understand that. Maybe I’ve occasionally been nudging something here and there to keep you safe, to keep everything on track.”

… which does NOT make her an ally, what the flying fuck JON:

(MAG147) ARCHIVIST: So, she is… watching the Institute. Interfering with things. … [HUFF] Is that reassuring, or… really, really bad…? I can’t say I’m… [HUFF] I can’t say I’m sad to have another ally allegedly on our side, but I don’t like the idea of being important to The Web. … That’s a really bad place to be…

(Especially since he had mentioned he was… ready to get into danger or to die if it means saving someone – Annabelle’s comment seems to give credit to the idea that she was the one who sent Martin to put the tapes around the coffin to get Jon back? So if she needs Jon alive, and especially given the current situation… that’s Bad, actually…?)

(- I’m… astonished that Jon didn’t get into a paranoia fit about The Web’s ritual, then? Since he has no information whatsoever about it, and had been researching about rituals until then. The Web making a move should make him think of the possibility…? Unless he has already accessed a few of Martin’s tapes? Unless he “knows” the content of the recording? (… But given that Annabelle and The Web are not the same thing, I do wonder if it’s not possible to have an avatar trying to bring its patron’s ritual to completion despite said patron not being overly interested in theory…? We’ve had the reverse case, with Jared refusing to participate in The Last Feast, after all…))

(- So, that “nudging”: it strengthens the idea that she was indeed the one who sent Martin helping Jon to get out of the coffin?

(MAG134) PETER: What does puzzle me, though, and I mean that genuinely, is… why you were piling tape recorders onto the coffin, while Jon was in there. [PAUSE] It’s a question, Martin, it’s– it’s not an accusation. MARTIN: I don’t know. And I just… felt like it might help. He’s always recording, I thought… it–it might help him… find his way out. PETER: Interesting. Were you compelled? MARTIN: [SULLEN] … I don’t know. … M–maybe? I–I, I definitely wanted to do it… PETER: But? MARTIN: I’m… I’m not sure where the idea came from. PETER: You should watch out for that. Could be something dangerous. MARTIN: Sure.

(MAG135) ELIAS: I needed a way to force him to harness his ability more acutely than he had before. The coffin was a useful tool; Daisy an adequate bait. BASIRA: Then you messed up. Way he tells it, he doesn’t know how he got out of there. ELIAS: But he did. And his powers were no small part of it. Even if he required some assistance, they were what saved him. And he’s still achieved what no one – mortal, monster, or anything in-between – has ever been able to. He climbed out of The Buried.

1°) Peter Doesn’t Like It

2°) Elias Absolutely Doesn’t Mind It

Elias, that’s the 100th time this season, but what DO YOU KNOW about the spiders in your Institute…)

(- There were so many mentions of watching/seeing in Annabelle’s statement, and she did acknowledge Jon’s confusion over what is coming from The Eye and what could come from The Web… so there is still That Thing again. With the confirmation that Smirke had been extremely arbitrary and couldn’t stand to acknowledge the possibility that he might have been wrong in his “architecture”, it seems that “An infinite amorphous blob of terror bleeding out in every direction at once.” still remains The Most Accurate description of the Fears.)

- That… was such a powerful move…

(MAG147) ARCHIVIST: … You hear that? BASIRA: No, I, I don’t hear– ARCHIVIST: Shh, shh! MELANIE: Yes. Room on the left…! ARCHIVIST’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG001: “an organisation dedicated to–” DAISY: Is that…? ARCHIVIST: Yes…. ARCHIVIST’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG001: “–academic research into the esoteric, and the paranormal.” BASIRA: Don’t touch it. ARCHIVIST’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG001: “The head of the Institute–” ARCHIVIST: No. ARCHIVIST’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG001: “–Mr Elias Bouchard–” ARCHIVIST: It’s alright. [BREATHING DEEPER] [FOOTSTEPS] ARCHIVIST’S RECORDED VOICE FROM MAG001: “–has employed me to replace the previous Head Archivist, one Gertrude Robinson, who has recently passed away.” ARCHIVIST: [EXHALE] [THE TAPE IS STOPPED.] DAISY: Something underneath it. ARCHIVIST: I see it. Uh, hand me that brush? [RUFFLING SOUND] BASIRA: Is… that what I think it is? ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] Yeah. [RUSTLING PAPER] Official Institute paper, and everything. BASIRA: Goddamnit…! ARCHIVIST: “Statement of Annabelle Cane.” … She left it for us.

1°) She knew that the assistants were going to The Web’s stronghold for the first time, and she left things that had been taken out from the Institute, The Eye’s stronghold as messages. Meaning she has indeed full access to the Institute and the Archives.

2°) Leaving. A statement. As a gift. Nobody had asked and she left it.

3°) MAG001’s tape, meaning Jon’s whole debut as an unwilling servant of The Eye, potentially meaning that she had been watching all along…

4°) Throwing us into the past, too: because it was the old Jon, pretending he didn’t believe in the supernatural – the Jon who hid and dissimulated (just like he did again with the people he attacked for their statements)… because he was afraid, because he thought that acknowledging them would mean catching their attention. We get to hear this Jon, again, and it’s such. A blow. And a reminder that Jon has been doing that again lately.

(5°) … and they arrived just when Elias was mentioned on the tape, so *squints* Is it because it was just the beginning of the tape, or an invitation to go request Explanations&Answers from that fucker.)

- Same, HHHH that power move of beginning the statement with

(MAG147, Annabelle Cane) ““Free will” is a funny old thing – isn’t it, Jon? Can I call you Jon? I’m going to call you Jon.”

… when she revealed a few lines later that she perfectly knew that Jon couldn’t stop reading. So he couldn’t answer anyway because it was an indirect message, but he was forced to read the question and Annabelle’s unilateral decision without being able to agree or protest anyway, and she perfectly knew it. Hhhhh.

(Also, the question was reminiscent of Nikola’s own “Can I call you Elias?” during Jon’s kidnapping&sequestration, and ahahaha, that. Might have been even more triggery for Jon, uh.)

(Aaaand both Oliver, agent of Death, and Annabelle, agent of Web, jumped to a first-name basis with Jon while he was in no position to allow or refuse them – in a “coma” with Oliver, and under compulsion-to-read with Annabelle.

(MAG121) OLIVER: Hum… Hello, Jon. Do you… m–mind if I call you Jon? I… I mean. You don’t actually know me, it’s just… well. “Archivist”, it’s so… formal, isn’t it? And I do kind of know you…? […] The thing is, Jon, right now, you have a choice.

Annabelle and Oliver are definitely kinda-friends, uh.)

(- And the voiceswitch was ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTFUL. Terrifying and wow. Jon felt like someone else, even more than usual.)

- Obligatory squintsquintsquint because:

(MAG147, Annabelle Cane) “I discovered a deep and enduring talent inside myself… for lying. My manipulations were not intricate – but they were far beyond what was expected of a child my age, and I have always believed that the key to controlling people… is to ensure that they always under, or overestimate you. Never reveal your true abilities or plans.”

………… is kinda reminiscent of Martin:

(MAG117) MARTIN: These last couple of years, I’ve always been... running, always hiding, caught in someone else’s trap, but… but now it’s my trap. And, well. I think it will work. I know, I know it’s not exactly intricate, but… it felt good, weaving my own little web. OH, oh Christ, I hope Jon doesn’t actually listen to these. “Good lord, is Martin becoming some sort of spider person?” No, Jon, it’s an expression, chill out. Besides, spiders are fine. I mean, yes, people are scared of them, obviously, but actual spiders, they just… want to help you out with flies!

(And Elias had described his own ability as “weaving” too. And Jon did wonder, in MAG145, if he wasn’t mostly just plainly good at bullshitting. If there are two people we tend to over/under-estimate, it would be Elias and Martin, who both “love manipulating people!”…)

- Obligatory laugh that:

(MAG147, Annabelle Cane) “With any other animal, we talk about “instinct”, we talk about “training”, perhaps if we have spent enough time with them… we talk about “personality”. But we never talk about choice. We never look at a dog racing wildly after a thrown ball and think “What an odd decision that dog has made!”. We talk about the workings of its mind, and its instincts; if it doesn’t chase the ball, we wonder why: is it sick? Is it tired? Perhaps something in the nature of this particular breed, this particular dog, makes it prone to ignoring a game of fetch. The idea of a dog simply… choosing not to chase feels deeply unnatural. Is it even capable of legitimately making a decision? Some would say no.”

Hey, Annabelle. You don’t know cats, uh. And you’re talking to a cat-lover. (Well. A love of The Admiral, at the very least. Who had decided it was time for belly rubs before electing to go on with his day, back in MAG093, in typical cat behaviour.)

- Constant soft static while they were at Hill Top Road, so there is definitely Something Wrong with the place. (However, there was none when Jon read the statement, so did they stop at an inn, or where they back at the Institute already?)

Ivo Lensik had given his statement about Hill Top Road in March 2007, and Jon had mentioned in his follow-up that:

(MAG008) ARCHIVIST: Two families have lived in the house since this statement was originally made but no further manifestations have been reported on Hill Top Road.

Plus, there was Anya Villette’s statement from April 2014 (MAG114), which mentioned:

(MAG114, Anya Villette) “The owners of the house had already filled it with furniture. Not good furniture, of course: just the cheapest IKEA had that wouldn’t collapse under the weight of a textbook. It was all assembled, though […]. It opened to reveal stairs going down into a basement. Nobody had mentioned a basement. Not when they gave me the job, not on the floor plan they’d given me; I’d had absolutely no idea it was there.”

(Anya also mentioned “thick sheets of white plastic, to try and keep the dust off” over the furniture and the fact that she had woken up “in one of the chairs, the dust cover clinging to me like a cocoon”: it sounds a lot like spider web, but she had been able to identify cobwebs as such when trying to reach the basement. So? Is it because The Web’s presence was stronger down there…? Her confusion about things still sounds like textbook Spiral to me, though we learned, since then, that there is the “scar in reality” so… what the heck was happening with Anya.)

By contrast:

(MAG147) MELANIE: When did you say they finished rebuilding? ARCHIVIST: 2008? MELANIE: Hm! ARCHIVIST: Doesn’t look like anyone ever… moved in, though. BASIRA: So this is… ten years of cobwebs? DAISY: More than that. [FOOTSTEPS.] MELANIE: [INHALE] No, I’m sure this is just the normal number of webs that grow up organically…! […] DAISY: Clear. [SHUT THE DOOR.] Looks like nothing downstairs. BASIRA: You wanna… take a moment, before we head up? ARCHIVIST: What about the basement? DAISY: Can’t see one. ARCHIVIST: Huh… DAISY: You want me to take point? ARCHIVIST: Uh… no – no, I’ve, I’ve got it.

So there are Too Many Cobwebs, it looks unoccupied although there used to be furniture, and we still (don’t) have a Schrödinger basement. GREAT.

(And bonus: Annabelle doesn’t want Jon to go there again – or at least, for now.)

- Jon The Tired Young Old Man is back, once again, and it’s been His Season To Shine:

(MAG123) ARCHIVIST: Everything’s changed. … [SIGH] Two days out of a coma, and I’m already tired.

(MAG128) ARCHIVIST: [WEAKLY] Statement… ends. [COLLAPSES] [CLICK.]

(MAG131) MELANIE: You’re going now? ARCHIVIST: [NERVOUS BREATHLESS LAUGHTER] [HISS OF PAIN] No. … No, now, I am going for a lay down. That was… that was not what I’d expected. MELANIE: Come on. You can use Basira’s cot.

(MAG137) ARCHIVIST: Everyone else is… running towards something, or running away, and I… [SIGH] I don’t know what I’m doing. [PAUSE] [SIGH] I’m just tired. Think I might go lie down for a while. Get a cup of tea [HUFF]

(MAG140) BASIRA: You look awful. You tried drinking with Daisy again last night? […] ARCHIVIST: [SLURRING] It’s not a hangover. Well, not… [INHALE] I wasn’t drinking. [SIGH] […] Yesterday, I tried something I… [INHALE] I–I deliberately tried to… Know something, like I did in the coffin, but… there was a lot. Too much [SIGH], and I… […] You drink the whole contents of a bar in three seconds, you don’t remember what the merlot tasted like. [SIGH] It just… hurt.

(MAG145) ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] … We’ve been back in London for just over a week, now. I’m… more or less recovered physically. It’s just this nagging sense of unease that won’t leave me.

(MAG147) BASIRA: Jon, focus. Are you getting any “sense” of anything? Can you… “see” anything? ARCHIVIST: No, I’m just… seeing what you’re seeing. Still a bit… weak from my trip North, to be honest. MELANIE: Sorry we couldn’t stop for a snack…! [SHARED SNORTS.] ARCHIVIST: [SIGH]

(MAG147) ARCHIVIST: This one really took it out of me. [CLEARER] I need to go lie down…! … E–end recording. [CLICK.]

………………………… except that, given His Pattern, and the mention that he hadn’t absolutely recovered from the Dark trip……………….. it probably means he “needs” a new victim to get fully rested. I. Really. Hope. That the girls will keep a close eye on him, uh…

- The Dasira shines… in small but significant ways… and how they like to throw jokes around Jon in tense situations…

(MAG143) BASIRA: [SIGH] Eyes peeled. [SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: … Was that a joke? BASIRA: Yeah.

(MAG147) BASIRA: So, where are all the spiders? MELANIE: Ah– I mean, they, they hide. You know, it’s a thing they do, spiders – they hide. DAISY: Perhaps they… bugged out. [FOOTSTEPS.] ARCHIVIST: [WHISPERS] … Was that a joke? BASIRA: Jon, focus.

(Not “bugs” technically, Daisy – Martin would be Offended about it!) I love how both Basira&Daisy are unapologetic about it, how it always takes Jon a moment to realise what Was Just Said, how he used the same tone to ask-what-he-already-knows (this is why people like Melanie like to say you don’t have a sense of humour, Jon.), and how… Basira was the one to demand he go back on track in the last one, instead of Daisy.

- My heart cried a bit about the girls throwing jokes because… yeah, it’s how Team Archives tends to deal with dire situations – and it was… really reminiscent of The Unknowing expedition, with TIM’S JOKES ABOUT THE WAXWORKS orz

(MAG118) TIM: And anyways, it’s not like we're alone in here. Look. There’s Prince Charles. [GROANING] TIM: Oh, if he’d been in an accident. Or the Beatles! If they’d all been in separate accidents, like, like Ringo was in a horrible fire, or Paul was in a car crash, that’s a classic– ARCHIVIST: Yes, Tim. I remember them. The waxworks are… bad. […] BASIRA: So would you say this was supposed to be Churchill or Alfred Hitchcock? ARCHIVIST: Jowls like that, could be either.

(MAG147) ARCHIVIST: No, I’m just… seeing what you’re seeing. Still a bit… weak from my trip North, to be honest. MELANIE: Sorry we couldn’t stop for a snack…! [SHARED SNORTS.] ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] […] BASIRA: These flares going to work? DAISY: No idea, but… Jon said The Web doesn’t get on great with fire, and we don’t exactly have a flamethrower, so… BASIRA: I mean, at least until we find the one Gertrude stocked [?? unintelligible, Daisy snorting too hard]. DAISY: [SNORT] BASIRA: Right next to the nukes…! […] ARCHIVIST: Well… [SIGH] We’re here now. Might as well push on. MELANIE: … Famous last words. [HUMOROUS EXHALES.]

It’s the same team, minus Tim, plus Melanie…

(Also, the reminder that Gertrude was all about fireweapons… Elias had taunted Leitner about “arson”, and he was positively seething when Martin had begun to burn statements, soooo… really, was Gertrude’s plan to deal with The Eye to burn down the Institute.)

- I’m sad that Melanie doesn’t get a nickname…

(MAG146) DAISY: [SIGH] Come on, Mel. I’ll see if I’ve got a stab vest in your size. MELANIE: … Yeah. Sure.

(MAG147) DAISY: Here, Mel. MELANIE: What even are these? DAISY: Magnesium flares. Technically not legal anymore; if you need more, just shout. MELANIE: Oh? Hum. Fine. [INHALE] Uh, and… and, please, don’t… call me “Mel”. DAISY: What? Since when? MELANIE: Always. I’m… [SIGH] trying to be more… o–open about this… stuff. DAISY: Roger Wilco, Miss King. MELANIE: Mm! Better.

… but I’m SO glad that:

1°) she has trouble, but clearly expressed that she didn’t like it. Worded her discomfort. Tried to fix something that was bothering her and directly impacting her. It’s hard, but she’s doing it.

2°) I’m so glad that Daisy immediately corrected herself, acknowledged it and didn’t even ask for a reason why Melanie didn’t like it. Melanie doesn’t like it, end of story, no fuss.

So no nickname for Melanie, but Daisy and Melanie sound even closer and good together!! ;w;

- Overall, GUUUUH, I’m. So proud of Melanie??? She’s been doing so much better!

(MAG123) BASIRA: Yeah. I did warn you. She’s not, uh… she’s not been having a good time. ARCHIVIST: Mm! Yeah, I did get that impression. [SIGH] Elias is gone. I thought… I mean, wasn’t that supposed to be… it? But she’s still… BASIRA: It’s not that simple. ARCHIVIST: She needs help, Basira. God, it didn’t even get that bad when I was… … Even Tim never threatened me. Not like that.

(MAG125) BASIRA: Oh, yeah, the stuff she takes is pretty strong these days. She should be out for a while. … What? Sleep is hard.

(MAG127) ARCHIVIST: Do–do you think it worked? Is she… BASIRA: I don’t know. She seems more… coherent, I guess. And you did get an apology. ARCHIVIST: Yeah. BASIRA: She said she can cry now, which is, hum… ARCHIVIST: Oh… BASIRA: Progress, I think? ARCHIVIST: Uh… BASIRA: She’s still angry but, she hasn’t attacked anyone. Not even sure she has it in her anymore. ARCHIVIST: Well that’s, that’s good! BASIRA: Hm.

(MAG131) ARCHIVIST: A–at least, it’s out! … Maybe… maybe it’s enough to start healing, start… letting go of the anger. MELANIE: Oh, just stop! Just stop and– listen. ARCHIVIST: Okay. MELANIE: Yes, the, the bullet was bad, right. But it didn’t make me angry. Anger is… Anger’s been all I’ve had for a long time. Years. Maybe since– oh, I, I don’t know, but…! Everything I’ve done, everything I’ve pushed for, was because I was angry! Angry of being past over, being disrespected, ignored… that sort of anger, it, it powers you! … Right until it slips out, and hurts someone. I – hurt someone. And then, one day, I suddenly have this thing that takes all that rage, and it holds it. Tells me it’s right. That it’s me. It didn’t stay in my leg because of some Ghostly Masterplan; it stayed… because I wanted it. ARCHIVIST: … Shit. MELANIE: Yes.

(MAG136) ARCHIVIST: If you don’t mind me asking, [STATIC:] where are you off to…? MELANIE: Therapy. [STATIC ENDS] … Wait. ARCHIVIST: Oh…! Oh, God, Melanie, I’m, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, uh… MELANIE: [EXASPERATED SIGH] It’s fine. I would probably have told you eventually, anyway. ARCHIVIST: Even so, I shouldn’t have– MELANIE: Just… forget it. [SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] It’s good, though. I–I’m glad you’re getting help. MELANIE: Yes, well. We’ll see. There’s a… a lot of crap therapists out there. ARCHIVIST: I guess. Still, it–it is a good step. MELANIE: I suppose. ARCHIVIST: You want to tell them the truth? MELANIE: I don’t know! It’s all a bit… [SIGH] Y’know? Er… C… can we drop it. ARCHIVIST: Of course.

(MAG139) ARCHIVIST: The others are doing… better, I think. Basira’s busy doing research for something secretive, unsurprisingly. But she seems to be adjusting to, uh… the new Daisy. I actually like Daisy now, which is a… really weird feeling. [INHALE] Melanie’s quiet, but I think therapy’s helping.

(MAG145) ARCHIVIST: Oh, uh, therapy! You’re taking her to therapy! GEORGIE: She… told you, then? ARCHIVIST: Uh, yes. Yeah. GEORGIE: … Well, you don’t need to sound quite so psyched about it. She gets… nervous travelling there alone.

(Compare this with Elias’s:

(MAG127) ELIAS: I believe you’ve recently lost Melanie. BASIRA: … We saved Melanie. ELIAS: As a person, yes, but as a defender…

… go rot in jail, Elias. OH WAIT–) (It’s been almost a year for him, I hope it’s getting long and he’s feeling very bored.)

Still unsure whether Melanie’s therapist is Bad News (… even more concerning: I found Jon’s narration of Annabelle’s statement very close to the therapist’s own jumpiness), but… the therapy in itself seems to be working? She’s learning little tricks to improve her life and remain in control and calm? She is expressing boundaries? It’s good? Melanie!!!

- I’mmmmm a bit interrogative about the comment she made about Jon’s ~compulsion~ to read statement right away:

(MAG147, Annabelle Cane) “Of course, that’s not the real crux of the free will question that’s… bothering you at the moment, is it? I think that one probably comes down to whether or not you’re choosing to continue reading this statement out loud. You didn’t mean to, did you? No, I’m sure you told Basira and Melanie that you were going to glance over it and report back. Perhaps they asked you if you were going to record, and you shook your head – “Maybe later”. That sounds like the sort of thing you’d say. But think about it, Jon: when’s the last time you were able to read a statement quietly to yourself without instinctively hitting record and speaking it aloud? It is just instinct? Habit? Or is it a compulsion – a string pulled by the Ceaseless Watcher or the Mother of Puppets? Or both? I know the summaries have started to confuse you. Where did they come from, when you read a statement fresh? How do you just… sort of know what it’s about, before you even start to read it…? But by then, you’re away: the roller coaster is dropping and you’ve no real choice but to hold on and hope that… I don’t crash you.”

Alright, for the summaries, I… had been wondering about it. And we indeed got a demonstration with live-statements that Jon knew the subject and a few key elements even before beginning to hear the story – and alright, it might be how he knew what the tape was about in MAG146, although there couldn’t have been no name written on it (since Martin didn’t know Jess’s name and Jon is the one who reveals it):

(MAG141) ARCHIVIST: [INTERESTEDLY] You… FLOYD: Uh…? BASIRA: Jon? ARCHIVIST: You used to work for Salesa… FLOYD: W–what, you… Who did? I don’t know what you’re talking about. ARCHIVIST: Mikaele Salesa. You used to work on his ship. FLOYD: … I don’t know you. ARCHIVIST: [ARCHLY] But I know you. BASIRA: Jon…? ARCHIVIST: Floyd Matharu. Served on the Dorian from 2011 to 2014. With Salesa. BASIRA: Jon, I’m not sure about this. ARCHIVIST: I am. Tell me what happened. [STATIC INCREASES] FLOYD: W–what…? What is this? ARCHIVIST: Whenever you’re ready. FLOYD: A–a–alright. [STATIC DECREASES] … Sure… [SILENCE] He… he–he w–was a good boss, you know?

(MAG146) BASIRA: Martin left a tape for us. [SHUFFLING NOISE] ARCHIVIST: And what exactly is on this t– … Oh… MELANIE: Yes.

… But for written statements, we got recent examples where Jon… did some follow-up before recording, or apparently got acquainted with a statement without recording it right away? Cases in point:

(MAG123) ARCHIVIST: The investigation is tricky, I don’t want to impose on Basira and, obviously, Melanie and… Martin… aren’t available, but I did do some light searching myself on Gregory Cox. … Vanished, unsurprisingly. […] No notes or follow-up here that I can see, just… [SIGH] It looks like the statement came in just after Gertrude disappeared. […] There’s a small supplemental document with it, though, that is a… bit alarming. I–it’s apparently a list of people whose names appear in the various pieces of text Mr Cox was pasting into the code. It’s unclear if they were meant to be… users or victims, but I cannot help but note that there seem to be the names of several statement-givers who found their way to the Institute, including noted arachnophobe Carlos Vittery.

(MAG125) ARCHIVIST: Regardless, I’ve hit another research dead end with this.

(MAG126) ARCHIVIST: I did do a small bit of follow-up on Deborah Madaki, just for my own curiosity. She didn’t go to Sannikov Land in the end. I don’t know, however, whether that was because she decided not to, or because… shortly after this statement was given, they found the body of one [Mary Randall] in her basement, and she has spent the last nine years in Eastwood Park Prison, where she remains to this day. I can’t find any evidence related to the condition of the body, but I can imagine what a sculptor’s apprentice might be capable of. Even an unwilling one.

(MAG127) BASIRA: And what was that you were doing yesterday? ARCHIVIST: … When…? BASIRA: You were sat on the floor for like four hours. ARCHIVIST: … Oh! Er, n–n–no, I was, er, I was… listening. Y’know, it’s, trying to see if any of the statements… called to me. BASIRA: And? ARCHIVIST: [FLIPS PAPER] BASIRA: Brilliant.

(MAG139) ARCHIVIST: No one’s come seeking vengeance recently, though, and looking at the details for the British Steel Plant in Scunthorpe, it does seem like Eugene is still around. So I can only assume… some sort of equilibrium was found. (MAG145) ARCHIVIST: I did some more digging into Eugene Vanderstock. I thought he was still alive and… working at the steel plant, but it looks like he’s just listed on one of the old directory pages on their website. … I really miss having people who know their way around a computer better than I do…!

So: were those cases of Jon… forcing himself to not read the statements, but already knowing the names/summaries and trying to do some search before he would be compelled to read them, or was this… Annabelle trying to mess him up a bit more, playing on his fears and trying to make him panic even more strongly.

(The fact that Jon felt a compulsion to read the statements out loud is not a novelty: he mentioned it to Georgie in MAG093. What I’m curious about is that Annabelle seems to insist that the recording is on Jon, although Jon claimed in MAG146 that he isn’t the one hitting record anymore. Does he do it unconsciously? I had always wondered about Tim’s comment, in season 3, describing to Martin how he had got mad because Jon and him had tried to talk and Jon had reached for the tape recorder – the way Tim had described it, it… had felt, to me, as if Jon wasn’t really aware of it.

Outside of statements, though: we’ve had had tapes popping up when Jon physically wasn’t in the room, or not yet – so Jon hadn’t manually turned those on. In season 4, there was his encounter with Martin in MAG129 (the tape recorder clicked on when Martin was alone in the room, we heard Jon enter), and his walk in the tunnels with Melanie in MAG131 (we heard them getting closer, and Jon asked her to give him the tape recorder, which she had been unaware of). So. Are the tape recorders a purely Jon thing, whether he activates them manually (consciously or not) or supernaturally? Are they Web and/or Annabelle’s, and she tried to divert his attention there?)

- In the end, I found Annabelle’s statement almost… reassuring? (Oops.) Because, in a way, Basira had already provided a possible Answer to this:

(MAG147) ARCHIVIST: I’m sure the flares will work fine. … I mean, un–unless it’s all some… elaborate… plot… to have us… burn this place down again. BASIRA: So what if it is? ARCHIVIST: I don’t follow…? BASIRA: I mean. Anything we do could be part of the “Grand Master Plan”. So – what, we do nothing? Just… sit on our hands, and hope that’s not what the spiders want? ARCHIVIST: [SIGH]

Basira had been presented by Daisy as more action-orientated and in a way… indeed, I’m not sure that “intentions” and “who is controlling” is the most fundamental focus of all? True that uninformed actions can have disastrous consequences (and Jon knows that: axing the Web table liberated the Not!Them, for example), but… Annabelle talked about how influences are numerous and their origins mostly unknown, or unable to be identified – it still leaves room for deciding who/what you want to be and what should matter to you? That you’re “you” as long as you decide? We had the case, in season 4, of Jon explaining his descent into the coffin as his own conscious choice, for his own (partially selfish) reasons, and… he brought some good, with that decision and action?

(MAG136) DAISY: Jon… when you went into the coffin. Was it you choosing to do that? Did you actually think you could save me, or was… that something telling you to do it? [SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: It was me. I was… drawn to it, I’ll admit, but it was my decision. [PAUSE] It wasn’t entirely about you, though. DAISY: What was it? ARCHIVIST: My– [PAUSE] [INHALE] [SIGH] My memories of the coma are not clear. But I know I made a choice; I made a choice to become… something else. Because I was afraid to die. But ever since then, I… I don’t know if I made the right decision; I–I’m stronger now, tougher, I can… … If I do die, now, or get sealed away somewhere forever… I don’t know if that’s a bad thing. And I don’t want to lose anyone else so, if I can maybe stop that happening, and [DRY CHUCKLE] the only danger is to me, I– I’ll do it in a heartbeat; worst case scenario… the universe loses another monster. DAISY: That’s messed up. ARCHIVIST: [LOW SELF-DEPRECATIVE DRY LAUGHTER] … Yeah. I suppose it is. […] Plus, I thought… [PAUSE] W– [SIGH] Well, I didn’t know what being down there had done to you. DAISY: You thought I was gonna kill you? ARCHIVIST: It was a possibility.

And even in season 3, he had made the conscious choice of trusting the others, and of burning Gerry’s page – although both were hard, and he had to force himself to stick to it, but this is what he had chosen and who he wanted to be?

(MAG117) ARCHIVIST: Still, it does sometimes make it hard to… fully trust them, I– [SIGH] You– you know what, no. I’m… I’m done with that. No more paranoia. It’s almost got me killed more than once, and… Georgie was right. If I am… slipping, then I need people I can trust. And I… I don’t think that can happen naturally for me an–anymore, so… I’m making a decision. I trust them. All of them. E– except Elias, obviously, that’s not– I mean… I’ve listened to the tapes. I’ve listened to the tape, I– I know what they talk about behind my back, how much they’ve… suffered, because of… this place… because of me.

(MAG117) ARCHIVIST: That’s it, then. I, I think. Except… [PAPER] I, uh… I haven’t burned it. Gerard’s page. … G–Gerry. I, I… I know there’s more he could tell me. He, he wouldn’t, of course, I, I, I know that, b–but he, he, it would still– b–be– there, that, that, that knowledge. I– It it would, it would still exist, I– I, I, I can’t. I… I want to help. I, I want to. But I… uh… I’m scared. On, on tape, just… just– just do it. [UNCAPPED LIGHTER] [HEAVY BREATHING] [SOUND OF A FLAME] Do it! [HEAVY BREATHING] [CRIES OF PAIN, BURNING SOUND] [HEAVY BREATHING, MUFFLED] I… [CAPPED LIGHTER, SHAKY VOICE] … you owe me one, Gerry. Rest in… … Just rest.

(I get that Annabelle is saying that there is always the idea that you’re never truly “you” because so many things are influencing you – but at the same time, I find it instead, yeah, oddly empowering because… “you” are your influences, too?)

(- Re: Jon, it’s. A really thin line, but at the very least, HE is still not fine with what he’s been doing:

(MAG146) ARCHIVIST: [QUIET] … That’s horrible… HELEN: Is it? We do what we need to do when it comes to feeding, don’t we? … Don’t we, Archivist? ARCHIVIST: … Yes… HELEN: It would be better if you embraced it. ARCHIVIST: … It’s not…

(MAG146) DAISY: And the third was after the coffin. ARCHIVIST: A man rejected by all who knew him, searching ever-darker places for love. When he told me his story, he started… weeping maggots. BASIRA: Enough. ARCHIVIST: … I hope so.

(MAG147) ARCHIVIST: What I’ve been doing to these people, it– … It hasn’t been because I was… “puppetted”, or “controlled”, or “possessed”. I wanted to do it. It felt good. … But at least, I know I can stop. I just… [INHALE] don’t know how. I… [INHALE] I don’t… want… to stop… … Goddamn! This… [MUFFLED VOICE, COVERED BY HANDS] This one really took it out of me.

And from blaming to The Web to acknowledging his responsibility, and that it had felt “good”, this is progress; and it’s still something he is not embracing, that he’s not okay with, that upsets him. So yeah. The “I don’t want to stop” bit is worrying but… At the same time, the way he’s handling the situation doesn’t scream “I want to keep doing it” either. And I doubt the girls will allow it to happen.)

- I wonder if Annabelle’s statement wasn’t technically meant to… give Jon his “Web” scar. I was positing until now that it had happened with A Guest for Mr Spider, as a kid, when he had been mincontrolled and had also watched the book’s effect on his bully, before it had snatched him – the loss of control on himself and on others. We (/I) tend to focus on the injuries-as-a-collection, as the mark of Jon experiencing the Fears, but technically, “experiencing” also happened to be about getting an inner understanding of their essence? I’m mostly thinking about The Unknowing, when he was able to finally pinpoint what was “Nikola” (what made The Stranger itself), and in the coffin, when he suddenly understood the nature of The Buried:

(MAG119) ARCHIVIST: … I see you. NIKOLA: Do you, now? ARCHIVIST: Yes… Yes, I s… I see the sad clown, b–bitter and hateful. I see him finding his way into a ci–circus where nobody knew him. I see him torn apart, becoming the mask, remade by a… a cruel ringmaster. Sometimes a doll, sometimes a mannequin, always hiding in somebody else’s skin. Somebody else’s name.

(MAG132) ARCHIVIST: … Come on… [STATIC] [SHAKY BREATHING] DAISY: Jon? ARCHIVIST: I know… DAISY: Th–the way out? ARCHIVIST: No… I know where we are! There isn’t no out, not here. This is… this is forever deep below creation. Where the weight of existence bears down… This is The Buried, and we are alive… There isn’t even an up.

… and curiously, alongside giving her own example and playing with Jon’s own fears of The Web and the loss of control, Annabelle… gave him a straight breakdown of the nature of The Web?

(MAG147, Annabelle Cane) “Unless, of course, none of it was intentional. None of it was planned. The Mother is the fear of manipulation, and lost control made manifest. So perhaps it is our fear that projects Her influence on everything that happens. Like the mind, retrospectively assigning reason to our actions, so we fit whatever occurs into the neatest pattern we can, and declare Her web both intricate… and complete. Perhaps She is no more active than Terminus – simply sitting and revelling in the inevitable cascade of paranoia, as those who hold Her in special terror cocoon themselves in red string and theory. Or perhaps I am simply telling you what you need to hear, in order to behave exactly as the Mother wishes you to. [STATIC, GRADUALLY INCREASING] Perhaps… I have never even seen a beach. Don’t… go to Hill Top Road again. [STATIC FADES]”

Basically, Annabelle threw Jon deep into the web by… making him doubt and fear that he could be manipulated (saying he wasn’t, then demonstrating that she could still do it, hence the final order, hence the mentions that she could have been lying all through her statement). So, giving him another paranoia fit while throwing him into the pit re: responsibility and potential guilt because he attacked people and those ones were on him.

- Annabelle’s considerations about “free will” and about Jon’s preoccupations indeed seem to play a lot with his current concerns and fears:

(MAG125) ARCHIVIST: I suppose that’s the question with so much of “violence”, “war”: how much are you really in command of yourself or of others? I’m not sure what scares me more: the idea that deep down, everyone is in complete control of their actions, that everything is, on some level, intentional; or that ultimately, we don’t have any control of ourselves at all, and the rest is just… rationalisation.

(MAG129) ARCHIVIST: I don’t like this. I don’t like… not being sure what’s going to be in my mind. What thoughts are mine and what are from… elsewhere. Why I just know some statements are what I should be reading. I assume this one is related to the coffin. To Daisy.

(MAG136) DAISY: [BREATHING HARDER, FASTER] Yeah, well… What do you think? You think I’m weak, just… [SIGH] ‘cause I’m not already chasing the next kill? You think I’m less me? ARCHIVIST: I… [SIGH] I don’t feel like I’m exactly in the best place to judge the… intersection [CHUCKLE] between free will and humanity. Still trying to figure that out myself.

(MAG145) ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] The more I listen and learn, the more it seems to me we’re all just… “groping about”. Trying desperately to find out what we’re actually meant to be doing. [PAUSE] These things that… loom so large over our lives trap us, and push us, and… sometimes kill us. But they never actually tell us what we’re supposed to be doing. So we scheme and we plot, lash out at each other without ever really knowing why. […] But I’m really starting to worry that there aren’t any answers. Not like I want there to be. There aren’t any answers in Ny-Ålesund; there aren’t any answers in the past; I’ve been inside The Buried, and there were no answers there.

(MAG146) ARCHIVIST: There is… nothing in the world more reassuring than ignorance which we can mistake for certainty. But no. Almost every one of those statements, those… people… that poor old man…

… and technically, she didn’t give any answer either, no certainty. So it really feels like the big purpose was to mess with him? (… to feed herself, maybe? She did mention that The Web was about “loss of control made manifest”, too, and that’s… what Jon is experiencing right now, although he’s aware that he is responsible for his own actions, and that he’s entangled in Annabelle’s plans.)

- One thing that Annabelle mentioned regarding how The Web operates:

(MAG147, Annabelle Cane) “Looking back, of course… and remembering the crunch of used syringes beneath my feet, I realise that addiction… is one of the strongest vectors of control there is.”

And as usual, could be an exaggeration/misleading/making you focus on the outside aspects and elements rather than their effects but… it’s indeed true that there is an enormous proportion of addicts, especially smokers, who have come into contact with The Web – I had finally noticed it thanks to MAG136:

(MAG016, Carlos Vittery) “I walked out there one day with the intention of smoking a cigarette, sat on the rusty garden furniture that had come with the place, and looked up. There it was – stretched between two large branches, silhouetted against the sky it sat. […] I leapt up, and started to head back inside, but as I did my eyes flicked wildly around the rest of the garden, and everywhere they came to rest I saw more lurking spiders, more webs. There were dozens that I could see, which meant there must be hundreds more I could not.”

(MAG056, Trevor Herbert) “In the early 80s, I was deep in the grip of my twin addictions. As I mentioned, after a while, The Hunt became an addiction of its own. Of the two, I’ve always found heroin the easier one to quit. […] But The Hunt… The Hunt is a purpose. It’s not just a way to get through the day, it’s a reason for there to be a day at all.” […] “she locked eyes with me. The weirdest sensation began to flow through me; I wanted to leave. It wasn’t like with a vampire, where I would feel like I’d been spoken to. This was just a sudden awareness of my own desire. I’d been sober for three years at that point, but I felt like I desperately wanted to get high, and I knew that the best place to get some was out in the night. Looking back, I think it might have been my own mind rationalising the way I felt my will being tugged out of the room, but it was still very powerful. If I hadn’t had a lifetime’s experience of identifying and fighting off the effect of the vampire’s gaze, I probably would have done it, too.”

(MAG059, Ronald Sinclair) “We never really got into any proper trouble – but the sort of glares we got just for smoking on the street made me want to break a window sometimes. I never did, though. I’m… not quite sure why I didn’t, to be honest. Before I met Ray, I… would have. There were plenty of broken windows in my past. There was something about living there, though, that… dulled the urge. My memories of a lot of my time there are, well… not exactly foggy, but feel almost like I’m watching someone else’s memories. I remember that it sometimes felt like I do things, without actually deciding to do them – like it was just muscle memory moving me, or a… string gently guiding me. It was never bad, or dangerous stuff, just… things I wouldn’t normally have done, like brushing my teeth.”

(MAG112, Alexia Crawley) “Brandon took to the role immediately, with a gravity and a weariness that I don’t think could have been entirely feigned. He was the only one who didn’t seem excited by the movie, and spent his off-hours smoking and reading quietly in one of the trailers. It was a shame because, for whatever reason, he also seemed to be the only one that Dexter would listen to. I only saw them talking once or twice but every time, Dexter would be wrapped, nodding at… whatever Brandon might have to say.”

(MAG136, Alison Killala) “Despite this or, maybe because of it… [Neil Lagorio and I] became friends. I think we bonded on that shoot; sheltering from the rain for hours at a time, watching a sobby animatronic jaguar gradually start to rust. I had to fight every instinct inside me, everything that wanted to burst out in admiration for his work and his… profound effect on my life. But instead I chain-smoked and laughed, trying my best to come across as my hero’s peer…!”

And it obviously put Jon’s smoking to mind. He had told Leitner that he had been quit for “five years” in February 2017 – except, well, he had cigarettes on him, so at this point, no, he was probably actually back to smoking already and presumably had been for a while. After he had opened the lighter’s package and denied smoking (MAG036, Tim+Jon: “You smoke?” “No… And I don’t allow ignition sources in my archive!”), Elias had commented about his smoking on July 29th 2016 (MAG040, “He’s not smoking again, is he?”) in a way that could mean… that either he knew about Jon’s Past As A Smoker, either Jon had been spotted with cigarettes recently (THAT’S CREEPY, CREEPY BOSS, ALL-SEEING OR NOT), and Tim’s snarky remark in February 2017 fit too well to think it was a completely random example (MAG079, “But he’s going to do something, and it’s going to be bad. And I don’t mean like ‘sneaking a cigarette’ bad – like, properly bad.”). Daisy spotted his cigarettes in MAG091 (“SILK CUT”. FOREVER REMINDER THAT HE SMOKES “SILK CUT” OF ALL THINGS.), he offered one to Gerry in MAG111, Daisy pointed out his lighter in MAG136 and Jon apparently Can’t Think About It (static and then changing the subject) so… something is definitely up with the lighter, at the very least.

-> The moment Jon stopped smoking roughly matches the time he joined the Institute (since he had worked there for four years when he began the series, second-half/end of 2015), but also the death of his grandmother (he mentioned in MAG081 that she “peacefully passed away five years ago”) – was it related to one of those two events? Because he’ll definitely need to channel again the Jon from back then who had managed to quit. (… if he ever did. Because uh. Telling Leitner that he had been quit for five years, while he had cigarettes on him, was… Jon. Jon. You had broken your streak a long time ago, you absolute hypocrite disaster.)

-> And it was ~because he had suddenly wanted a cigarette~ that Jon had left Leitner alone in MAG080, giving an opening for Elias to Brutal Pipe Murder him – something that Nikola would later use to toy with him, by mixing it up with guilt:

(MAG119) ARCHIVIST: It is not! It’s not, I didn’t know, it’s not my fault you died! LEITNER: No, I suppose not. Me, on the other hand… […] I understand, of course. You needed a cigarette! I suppose you should have remembered that smoking kills!

-> So once again: ELIAS, what do you KNOW about the Spiders running wild in your Institute, and about Jon’s lighter.

(- And the smoking/addiction being potentially usable by The Web puts me in mind of a few other people too:

(MAG144, Gary Boylan) “I’d been out easily twice as long as any time before. But my dad didn’t say a word about it – just sat in front of the TV, laughing at some crappy panel show, smoking that… God-awful pipe that left the wallpaper yellow and peeling. I remember thinking he wasn’t content to just destroy himself. He seemed to have to take everything out around him.”

Extinction statement but. Gary’s dad was a vivid picture.

(MAG113, Adelard Dekker) “The deaths were about a fortnight apart, and when the third came in with the same symptoms, Bianca, the coroner, called me in. For the last few years we’ve had an… arrangement. I slip her a bit of cash to feed a nasty habit she has, and if she’s called to any inquest which looks strange, I’m the first to know. Despite her weakness, Bianca is still a damn good coroner, and filled me in on the details quickly.”

………………. Adelard, who had been in possession of The Web Table at some point after its Hill Top Road days, and had been able to use it to bind and trap the Not!Them…

And. And. Technically, I cannot not mention:

(MAG049) ARCHIVIST: Supplemental. Elias Bouchard is a difficult man to pin down, certainly since he became head of the Institute in 1996, taking over from James Wright, who ran the place from ‘73 until he passed away. […] I found an old gossip column in the student newspaper that – sure well – that mentioned him. If I’m not reading too much into it, the implication seems to be that he was… something of a… pothead [CHUCKLE]. Was he… like that when he first came to work here…?

Listen: if I’m haunted by the mental picture of Elias, smoking weed in his office in March-or-May 2015 because the Institute’s budget is getting tight again, and suddenly shouting “You know what? I should totes KILL GERTRUDE to solve my problems. GENIUS!” while a spider scurries away.

then, you have to be inflicted with it, too.)

- Though Trevor had presented The Hunt as an “addiction”, and Jon’s own relationship to the statements had also been presented in such a way:

(MAG107) ARCHIVIST: I’d love to rattle off a lot of potential other reasons for this, nice rational causes of recovery, but… I feel we’re past the point of transparent rationalisations. It looks like the recording of statements has now passed over from psychological compulsion into… a more physical dependence. I don’t whether this is… some sort of classical addiction or something a bit deeper. But either way, this is not the time for experimentation. I’m on a deadline, and if I need to be reading statements to stay well enough, then I suppose that’s what I shall do.

Martin also name-dropped it in his list of potential reasons for Jon’s behaviour and the way he had attacked Jess for her live-statement, and then Jon first tried to blame it on an exterior influence before finally admitting that it was all him, wording it in a way… that indeed matches up with addiction too:

(MAG142) MARTIN: Oh, that can’t– that can’t… I mean, it’s not him, is it? Not, not really? It’s, what, addiction, instinct, maybe mind control, something like that? I… can’t believe he’d choose to do something like that. … No, no, I, I can’t think like that, though, I, I can’t let myself, ‘cause I mean, if, if he’s already gone, then all of this is just…

(MAG146) BASIRA: He knows exactly what he’s doing. ARCHIVIST: I don’t–! Uh, it’s not that simple, it–it feels… [BREATHING QUICKENING] … I don’t know if I can control it, I don’t know if it’s even me doing it…! BASIRA: … So you say you’re being controlled. ARCHIVIST: I–I don’t know. Maybe? Th–The Web, it–

(MAG147) ARCHIVIST: … Annabelle’s right, though. I mean– I can’t trust anything she says to not be another lie to further manipulate and manoeuvre us, but… deep down, I think she’s right. What I’ve been doing to these people, it– … It hasn’t been because I was… “puppetted”, or “controlled”, or “possessed”. I wanted to do it. It felt good. … But at least, I know I can stop. I just… [INHALE] don’t know how. I… [INHALE] I don’t… want… to stop… … Goddamn! This… [MUFFLED VOICE, COVERED BY HANDS] This one really took it out of me.

As of now, I’m not… utterly convinced by the addiction analogy for what is happening with avatars and people’s fears, though, but that’s mostly because I’m thinking in terms of effects, and the fact that in Avatars’ cases, the primary victims are not themselves but other people: here, the main problem is not that Jon has an addiction problem to (live or written) statements, but the fact that extorting live-statements causes pain, distress, fear and overall constant suffering, impacting and destroying the lives of other people (eg Jess). The fact that it makes him feel good or not… is not the most relevant thing as to why he has to stop it; I feel like talking of it solely as an “addiction” might be diminish the gravity of what he does a bit? (Which is why I’m grateful that Basira immediately summed up his actions as a criminal’s: yes, he’s attacked innocent people, yes, he’s acted monstrous, yes, he’s currently a danger.) (But then again… it could be a point to be made, that the statements are actually bad for Jon – that they feel good but that it is… a sort of reprieve, covering up other issues, and that no, fundamentally, these stories are still shattering him.)

However, it is probably the correct analogy to approach how they should get him to stop it or to control the craving – if… it is… even possible… which I’m not even sure about…

(- I am kind of expecting a talk about why the team shouldn’t just try to find a way to kill Jon off, if he can’t or won’t control it? Concretely, of course, it’s not like they would know how to do it: Jon heals fast, can’t harm himself, didn’t manage to get instantly destroyed by the Dark Sun. He has managed to get out of the coffin once and might be able to pull that off again – even if he went back inside willingly, he probably wouldn’t manage to stay inside forever, since he already had “regrets” about going inside after three days. Plus, Daisy had managed to get some distance from The Hunt and to separate herself from it when she was inside of the coffin, but we saw that Jon’s powers had still been active and kicking while inside – so that… doesn’t seem to be exactly an option for him (because The Eye is him/within him? Because The Buried relies on awareness, like The Vast, and it can’t totally be isolated from The Eye?)

But pragmatically, I still feel like the question of what-to-do-with-Jon-and-is-it-really-worth-it-to-ensure-that-he-stays-alive has to be raised…? (Or am I totally heartless for thinking that eh, even if I liked him a lot as a character, if he’s terrorising people and hurting innocents, then no, it’s not worth it, and I’m not interested in hearing him getting glimpses of genuine happiness or jokes or hopes while Jess and probably more are hurt and hurting and their lives utterly messed up because of him.) If Jon is going Monster and can’t/won’t stop, and given how the Assistants reacted, it might cross their mind, and rightfully so? I’m expecting them to at least contain/monitor him, as of now, to prevent further victims, although… it won’t solve anything on the long run. But I want it to stop, arrrrg orz Not solely because I don’t like random people getting hurt, but because it was… the reason… Jess had come to the Institute…

(MAG142) MARTIN: O–okay. Hum. [INHALE] Right, well… [EXHALE] Firstly, I’m re– I’m really sorry that this happened. Hum… in–in terms of next steps… JESS: Just, I just… I don’t know, y–you know, talk to him, I guess? J–just tell him, like, like, I mean that– it’s not okay. You know, right, I’m not… I don’t know what he did, but it– You know, he can’t just go around, and well, you know, just keep doing… MARTIN: Right. I–I understand. JESS: Good! … Well… You… I just, I don’t want to see him again, alright? Ever.

It was hard, it was awful to describe what had happened to her again, she got hit really badly by Institute, but she came because Jon had to be stopped… it was only for this that she came, we probably won’t hear her ever again, and I don’t want it to go to waste………………. ;_;

(YES, I know that we’re potentially heading towards a ritual getting completed and/or many, maaany people dying/getting tortured in the process – but I always find it harder to hear about personal stories than the overall broad picture, and I know that Jess won’t be okay ever (… well, Daisy confirmed the trick of signing up with the Institute to get rid of the dreams/come under The Eye’s protection, but Team Archives has never been… invested in saving/helping people they didn’t personally know), but it’s even worse if her complaint doesn’t mean anything in the end… ;;))

- Okay, so. Probably off-track and gratuitous long tangent but, eh, that’s what speculation is about, right?

I got a bit of a punch over MAG147’s date, because suddenly, time had moved… very fast towards a few Archives Anniversaries. Annabelle’s statement was dated 20th July, 2018; it’s already one month since the expedition to The Dark (Jon took Manuela’s statement on June 16th, in MAG143) and… we’re getting close to the anniversaries of both:

* Jane Prentiss’s attack on the Archives, July 29th 2016.

* The Unknowing attempt, August 06-07th 2017.

… And Jon is very conscious of the time passing, of the dates – he sighed about his perception of time in MAG123 (realising that two years had passed, and that he… hadn’t “lived” the entirety of them), and even mentioned the Institute’s anniversary as a source of dread:

(MAG127) ARCHIVIST: Whatever is happening now… has its origins two hundred years ago. In the work of an evil man. … Exactly two hundred years, in fact. Don’t think that little detail has evaded me. I don’t know the precise date the Institute was founded, but I do know that it was in 1818. … Something’s coming. I know it is. … But I just don’t know what I need to do.

These are of course also the anniversaries of Sasha’s death, Tim’s death. The reminder, too, that Martin is the last one of the original assistants still alive, and so far one has died every summer since Jon was appointed as Head Archivist – if there was a moment to panic over the Assistants “symbolically” being in danger because there is a pattern, it would be now. Daisy mentioned Jon’s PTSD in MAG142, we got a reminder that Jon still had Jane Prentiss’s ashes in his desk in MAG140:

(MAG140) BASIRA: Er… Jon. What’s this. [DRY SOUND] ARCHIVIST: Mm? … Oh. That’s… [SILENCE] That, uh, that’s… my rib? BASIRA: … Right. [PUTS IT DOWN] ARCHIVIST: Yup… BASIRA: And… the jar of ashes. ARCHIVIST: Not– Not mine; I–I mean, it belongs to me, I–I guess, but it’s not… Er, stationery is in the other drawer?

Could have been nothing more than a casual joke but with the anniversary at the corner… I’m not so sure.

But mostly, I’m thinking about Tim.

I’m still… very surprised that Tim was mentioned so little in season 4, when it had been extremely important for Jon that Tim make it back alive?

(MAG118) TIM: You thought you brought me in as a distraction, right? ARCHIVIST: What?! TIM: Let me do it! Go in, maybe you can get some of them– ARCHIVIST: Tim, contrary to what you think, I did not bring you here to indulge your death wish! TIM: It’s not what this is! ARCHIVIST: No?! TIM: No! You knew I might not be coming back! ARCHIVIST: I knew none of us might be coming back, and I’m not gonna let anyone get killed for nothing! TIM: Oh, except for those people in there! ARCHIVIST: They’re already dead! TIM: Not all of them! ARCHIVIST: I am not losing you as well!!

Sasha had been dead for more than six months when Jon realised what had happened, and Tim&Martin learned about it even later – even then, she was… mentioned so much. Nikola pretended to be her during The Unknowing, taunted him about the possibility of her resurrection (“Oh, you caught me~ I’m… Sasha! […] No~! Really, it’s me! Sasha– whatever her name was! Back from the dead, just like you wanted~!”), prompting a visceral reaction from Jon. Sasha was on Martin’s lips, too, when he confronted Elias and his (in)actions. But Tim… from what I recall, this is all we got about Tim this season:

(MAG122) ARCHIVIST: Er, the others. T–Tim? Is he… [SILENCE] Oh… [SILENCE] BASIRA: … Daisy, too. [SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: … I’m sorry. […] You’re… sure a–about Tim? BASIRA: Yeah, they, er… They found his remains a few days later.

(MAG123) MELANIE: How did you make it out, then, mm? ARCHIVIST: What? MELANIE: Tim is dead. Daisy is dead. And you, what? You’re just fine? ARCHIVIST: No, I’ve been in hospital for six months! […] Melanie, Melanie: it’s… it’s me. MELANIE: Oh! Okay, so what, “Hi Jon, how are you, get anyone killed lately?” ARCHIVIST: … I… MELANIE: Wipe that look off your face. Like you’re not the reason all of this is happening.

(MAG123) ARCHIVIST: She needs help, Basira. God, it didn’t even get that bad when I was… … Even Tim never threatened me. Not like that. […] So: we’re under siege; Melanie is aggressively unstable; Martin is working very closely with The Lonely, who is, predictably enough, isolating him; and, oh, yes, Tim and Daisy are still dead. Which is at least easy to keep track of! BASIRA: That isn’t funny, Jon. ARCHIVIST: I know it’s not–! … Sorry. It’s just… it’s a lot.

(MAG123) ARCHIVIST: I have no theories on it, no… no sudden insights. [SIGH] I wish I could talk it through with Martin. … Or Tim. [SHORT SAD CHUCKLE] Or Sasha. But we never really did that, did we…? … Everything’s changed. … [SIGH]

(MAG126) ARCHIVIST: A “Great Twisting”, that Gertrude stopped at the cost of a single life. … I thought… moving away from my humanity would have made that seem more acceptable. That sort of sacrifice… but it just makes me sad… … I remembered Gertrude’s notebook; we found it alongside the plastic explosives, but it rather got lost amongst the business of… [SIGH] saving the world at the cost of two lives…

(MAG133) BASIRA: Good. As far as I can see, Gertrude Robinson was the most effective person in this place. ARCHIVIST: … That’s what Tim said as well.

Plus, from Martin:

(MAG120) ELIAS: Hello, inspector. Martin. I’m… sorry to hear about Tim. MARTIN: Don’t. ELIAS: And Daisy, I suppose. MARTIN: Don’t. you. dare. ELIAS: I suppose it’s some consolation Basira made it out. And Jon – more or less.

(MAG138) MARTIN: I don’t know what he’s talking about when he mentions Millbank. The old prison, I guess? Tim said the tunnels under the Institute were all that was left of it, but… Jon said he’d checked them pretty thoroughly. [SILENCE] [SIGH] I’m not the one who knows all about this stuff…! I wish– … No. No, it’s fine, I’m… fine, I… [EXHALE] I can do this.

And I’m still sad, and a bit curious?, about the fact that… Jon had heard Tim’s last words to him, but told Basira he couldn’t remember how The Unknowing had gone:

(MAG119) TIM: Back! Get back! That’s right. Jon, I don’t know if you can hear me, but if you can… ARCHIVIST: [FAINTLY AND FAR] Tim…? TIM: I don’t forgive you. But thank you for this.

(MAG122) BASIRA: How much do you remember? ARCHIVIST: I don’t… Music. Everything was wrong. Gertrude was there, and then… dancing. I think? Then… pain. And I was somewhere else. Dreaming.

Are the memories truly lost, and they’ll never be aware of the fact that Tim pulled the trigger, took his revenge for Danny’s death, and saved the world – and that Jon was never to be forgiven? Or are they stuck somewhere in Jon’s subconscious? Are they buried and meant to be dug out, or… forgotten?

“Grief” has been surprisingly absent this season. We know that Martin had the added dimension of losing his mother – which had… already been an open wound for a while (her refusing to see him), made worse by Elias (revealing to him that she hated him, and why, and carving “what she was seeing” whenever she looked at him into his mind), until she died two months later, and… he explicitly bore that death alone:

(MAG127) BASIRA: Honestly, I kind of regret not just… grabbing Martin and shaking an explanation out of him. But I didn’t want to push it. He was in a… bad place, what with the attack and his mom and everything, so I didn’t press it. Now, I try and bring it up, he just… disappears. Nothing to be done. ARCHIVIST: So–sorry, you said… What happened with his mother? BASIRA: Oh, yeah. She died. About two months– ARCHIVIST: Oh… BASIRA: –after you, er… … Martin was… … He tried to stay strong. Keep it together but, that sort of thing… ARCHIVIST: [SIGH]

(MAG129) ARCHIVIST: I, er… I heard about your mother. MARTIN: … Yeah. ARCHIVIST: I am… so sorry. [SILENCE] MARTIN: Thank you. [INHALE] It’s… [SHAKY EXHALE] It’s better, this way. ARCHIVIST: If–if you do need to talk, I– MARTIN: I can’t. ARCHIVIST: No. No, o–of course.

It makes a lot of sense, for Martin, to be especially vulnerable to The Lonely: he always had… trouble connecting with others, and his relationships were shown to be ultimately one-sided. He was hovering around and crushing on Jon while Jon was suspecting him of murder; his mother disliked him and refused to let him take care of her, trying to cut ties; even Tim admitted that he didn’t know Martin as well as he used to know Sasha, and avoided him like he did the other new assistants (we didn’t hear them interact again after MAG104, which only happened by accident and chance). He explicitly didn’t like Daisy, in season 3; had been snappy to Basira, and both Basira and Melanie didn’t have a lot of nice things to say about him, although Martin had shown sympathy towards Melanie in MAG108 (and then, Melanie fell deeper to the Slaughter bullet, and Basira began to turn more callous and calculating). Overall, the fact that he was aware that he hadn’t been able to notice that Sasha had been replaced probably didn’t… help.

But it’s mostly that absence of… anything about the loss of Tim that surprises me a bit, and I find it interesting that neither Jon and Martin apparently took the time to grieve. Aside from “addiction” (reminder that Jude used drugs too!), there’s something else that has been present in quite a few avatars’ storylines – depression. Oliver began to dream when he was depressed (MAG011, “I barely made it through a full year before the stress of my new job, not to mention some problems in my personal life, led to me having a full nervous breakdown. I’d broken up with Graham, my boyfriend of six years and had to leave the home we shared, going to stay with some of the few friends that had survived my year of stress-fuelled outbursts and constantly cancelled plans. It was there, sleeping on my friend Anahita’s sofa, in the depths of my misery, that I first started to have the dreams.”), Jude was going through a burn out when she met Agnes (MAG089, “The point was, that I burned through too much of myself, because I didn’t know what else I could burn. My girlfriend saw it, though she had no idea how to help with the deep depression that had settled over me. […] I was burned out in every sense but one. And that was the one that saved me. It was Agnes, of course. I don’t know where she found me, I only remember sitting in a booth with a beautiful young woman who smelled like matches and incense.”). Kinda goes well with “addiction” in the idea that the Fears tend to recruit people when they’re vulnerable? But keeping Jon in mind, Daisy, mostly, had repeatedly pointed out that he hasn’t been fine for a while:

(MAG136) DAISY: You need to stop moping. ARCHIVIST: I what? DAISY: You need to stop swanning around, being all sad. ARCHIVIST: I’m, I’m not “swanning around”– DAISY: “Boo-hoo, I’m so alone and a monster!” ARCHIVIST: I am alone, Martin is– DAISY: Busy. doing. paperwork. Not like he’s dead. Beside, he’s not the only other person here, you know. There’s me; Melanie; Basira– ARCHIVIST: Traumatised; traumatised; and paranoid, because of me. DAISY: Get over yourself! You’re always talking about choices – we all made ours. Now I’m making the choice… to get some drinks in. Coming?

(MAG142) DAISY: I, I mean, it’s pretty standard stuff. MARTIN: What?! DAISY: Used to see it all the time back in the force, especially with the Section’d. Not like there’s… “normal” trauma, you know? But it’s pretty common. The most important thing becomes control, engaging on your own terms. Even when it’s stupid or dangerous. Anything to not feel helpless. MARTIN: Oh, god… DAISY: And of course, for Jon, there’s survivor’s guilt in there, too. He thinks he’s not human. Makes him very… self-destructive. MARTIN: Yeah, well. We’ve all had trauma. DAISY: And everyone’s changed.

(MAG143) HELEN: … How was it? ARCHIVIST: Mm? HELEN: Looking upon The Dark. ARCHIVIST: I thought I was going to die. HELEN: You seem to think that a lot. I remember when you thought you were going to die at my threshold. ARCHIVIST: … Yeah.

And it would’t be surprising if the fact that neither Martin&Jon took the time, nor did work on grieving… contributed, a lot, to put them in such a bad headspace – Jon feeding from people, being in denial over his responsibility and not trying to actively stop it nor warning the others about it, Martin admitting that the temptation of The Lonely is working on him.

At the end of season 3, Tim’s very last scene, very last words… were technically a reference to a joke about depression&therapy:

(MAG119) TIM: You sound stressed. You know, I hear the Great Grimaldi’s in town. You should go see him. Cheer yourself up. NIKOLA: That’s. not. funny. TIM: I know. [LOUD EXPLOSION] [CLICK.]

(And Peter Lukas had offered Martin to go to therapy (MAG120, “And if you want to talk to a counsellor, the Institute will of course cover any cost.”), although… yeaaaah, coming from Peter, it just sounded. Plain bad.)

It introduced the theme a bit; season 4 then made it pretty clear that in this universe, actual therapy is not a bad thing. We saw it with Melanie, though she did express cautiousness about it (it’s not a Miracle Solution, some therapists are bad or don’t fit you). We saw it with Jess:

(MAG142) JESS: So. It… It took a long time to get over that. I mean… That’s not weird, right? I mean, it was a bad time. You know? It–it stays with you. I was signed off for, what, probably about six months, with the injuries? I had pretty bad, uh, nightmares, claustrophobia, I mean… Obviously, right? But, uh, but–but I did my physio, and, you know, talked wi–with the counsellor they gave me? Look, I did everything I was supposed to, and–and yeah, I… I guess I was fine. You know, once the bruises were gone, I… Well, it’s easy to blame memory, right? You know, ha–hallucination, coincidence, all the… classic shite you tell yourself. Look, life went back to… normal, I… I was fine. Until… [CHOKING] about two weeks ago. MARTIN: And that was when you met J– … Er, one of our employees.

Even Gertrude had directed Lucia towards someone – she sounded… very manipulative and lying through her teeth about the nightmares (? She would know that no, Lucia’s wouldn’t stop, especially after giving her statement?), but I have trouble picturing Gertrude doing the extra effort of recommending someone and actively searching for their contact information if it was just to get rid of Lucia (she really didn’t need to do so, the statement was over and Lucia hadn’t asked for anything!); if Gertrude recommended them, it’s probably that she genuinely knew that it could help?

(MAG130) LUCIA: H… uh. Will it help? GERTRUDE: I’m sorry? LUCIA: Telling my story. To you. Will, will it help with the nightmares? GERTRUDE: If that’s your primary goal, my dear, I would suggest you speak to a qualified counsellor. We can suggest one, if you like; that said, I do believe most people find the process of giving a statement to be rather… mm, cathartic. And whatever nightmares your experience has left you with, I’m sure they won’t be bothering you much longer. […] And do you feel any better? LUCIA: No. GERTRUDE: Mm, that’s a shame. Hang on, let me see if I can find you the number for that counselling service. They’re actually quite good.

We’ve had a broad gallery of characters handling their traumas in different ways, this season. Melanie is going to therapy, and whether her therapist is Web/Eye/Lonely or not… it is working to help her get some control over herself. She’s quieter, she expresses her boundaries – far from losing her voice, she is… reappropriating it. Daisy has not sought out professional help, but she’s careful about how she handles herself, the symptoms and how to prevent falling off – she seeks out company, she talks, she communicates, she tries to repair bridges, while remaining overall careful:

(MAG136) DAISY: [QUICKLY] You’re not babysitting me, alright?! I know that’s what the others think, sometimes, but… that’s not it. I just… don’t like… being on my own if I can help it. You know. Flashbacks, panic attacks, the usual. Just trying to avoid it if I can. ARCHIVIST: I know, Daisy, I–I do. It’s hard.

(MAG144) DAISY: No, I’m ju– [SIGH] Just ignore me. Continue with… whatever. [SILENCE] MARTIN: … Are you alright? DAISY: Yeah. Just a… a bit empty around here. You know? MARTIN: Not really. DAISY: Melanie’s out, and… [EXHALE] Jon and Basira’re still off. Bit worried. But they can take care of themselves, you know?

And on the other side, just like Jon and Martin, Basira just… tried to deal with things on her own, and partially failed and hurt herself in the process:

(MAG128) BASIRA: Do you know how I survived the… The Unknowing? ARCHIVIST: I… No. No, I don’t. BASIRA: No powers, no… magic or… help. I was trapped in that place, and so I tried to figure it out. And I did. A little. So I kept doing it. I kept going through until I got out. I… reasoned my way out of that nightmare. ARCHIVIST: Good lord… BASIRA: Then everything ended, and Daisy was gone. And you were gone. And Tim. And then I got back to the Institute, and Martin send me to meet the new boss. Then I stood alone in an empty office for more than one hour. I can trust me, Jon. That’s it. ARCHIVIST: [SIGH]

And it could be that Jon… should have gone for therapy, too, and never will. But if there was ever a moment for him to try it out as a way to handle himself, I feel like it could be now? He had been constantly adamant about not going for it and… his reject resurfaced very recently with Georgie:

(MAG058) MARTIN: He’s just under a lot of pressure. You know how messed up he’s been since Prentiss. TIM: How messed up he’s been?! MARTIN: Of course, I’m sorry – sorry, I didn’t mean that you weren’t, just– TIM: No! Because I didn’t start stalking my co-workers! MARTIN: Maybe try talking to him. TIM: Sure. Like he doesn’t already look at me like I’m a murderer. MARTIN: Look, look, you just got to let me work through this. Alright? I suggested therapy, but he just says no, so– TIM: Well, we need to do something! MARTIN: Yeah, maybe.

(MAG145) ARCHIVIST: I’m… I’m alright. I’m trying to, uh… rest up a bit. Take it easy. [HUFF] GEORGIE: Really? ‘Cause… I’m pretty sure I heard talking about a screaming headless corpse just now. ARCHIVIST: Oh… Oh. W–were you… listening? GEORGIE: Oh, uh. Didn’t mean to. You know. These… doors are not that thick. ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] … Fine. I’m deep in it. Had some… “close calls”. [SILENCE] GEORGIE: I’m sorry to hear that. [PAUSE] … You should probably get some therapy too. ARCHIVIST: [HUFF] Would you go with me as well? GEORGIE: … No. ARCHIVIST: Yeah. … No, I thought as much.

Because concretely, what can they do now, re:Jon, and what can Jon do about this “addiction” of his to destroy people…? Could be that precisely, it’s over, they’re just trying to buy a bit of time, but Jon is Done For, and either he’s dying at the end of this season, either he’s going full monster. But if there is a solution to at least attenuate the problem, my money is on therapy, with how the theme has popped up here and there, together with “control (of yourself)”…? (And it was especially jarring, in this episode, how… I got the feeling that Jon was aiming for Free Therapy in front of the tape recorder? Except it’s a one-sided exchange, it’s him talking to himself, and he’s not equipped for self-analysis.) (And there is something to be said, maybe, about how inflicting Fears and misery on others and the whole “Feed what feeds you, or it will feed on you”, is textbook “hurting others to not hurt yourself/to stop hurting yourself? So, I don’t know. It’s spooks, it’s alien entities, but we’ve always had a mix of supernatural and down-to-earthness when it came to dealing with the entities and their effects… so maybe there would still be a way to unravel Jon’s issues in a positive way, for once.)

(Aaaah, I’m mostly interested in the idea of Melanie and Daisy talking to Jon about the influence of powers and personal responsibility, potentially more… quietly, after a few days, once they’ve all cooled down. Because Daisy might feel grateful for Jon for having pulled her out of the coffin, and I really doubt she would give up on him. Melanie… a bit less, and she used to genuinely dislike Jon, but she still Knows What It’s like. Both would have rightful reasons to feel bitter/annoyed/mad, though, that Jon has been spilling advice here and there, presenting himself as the voice of reason… and was absolutely not following through with his own actions, once again.)

(- Re: Annabelle’s statement. I have no Personal Offended Feelings about the jovial call-out directed towards the red-strings theorist (“simply sitting and revelling in the inevitable cascade of paranoia, as those who hold Her in special terror cocoon themselves in red string and theory.”), because 1°) THAT’S FAIR BUT HOW ‘BOUT I DO IT ANYWAY, 2°) I’m mostly amused because it adds to the pile of things about how I live TMA as I lived Umineko. I already had a list of things they share that I was amused about (tea, comatose love-interest, and (DUCT) tape, etc.), and I can now add to it “writer using a female character to shout at his fanbase when they’re fumbling around trying to understand The Fuck Is Happening”. Spider woman really interested in stories, insufferable/absolutely awful Witch of Theatregoing, Drama and Spectating – same struggle.)

MAG148’s title is out and OOOOOOOH does it. Sound. Like. Another. Beholding episode. Which would be our 4th already this season – it’s… a lot more than previous ones, really making it feel like The Eye is getting more present and threatening. (Could technically be The Web, too, with that weird intertwining of them that we got lately! Or just plainly Annabelle again.) As for the content: there is an obvious joke to make about Elias and the title would also fit him awfully well (sob); obligatory thinking about MAG003’s Graham; Adelard Dekker had referred to half of it in relation to Gertrude back in MAG113… But mostly: it could… accurately describe the Assistants deciding to monitor Jon? And statement-wise, it mainly screams “PANOPTICON” to me. So. Historical statement once again from the Jonah-Smirke era – or even from earlier, from Jeremy Bentham himself…? (Or from Jonathan Fanshawe post-1831, because so far, with what we learned about him, he had gotten away, and I liked him and I can’t have nice things.) Not necessarily read by Jon; we could switch to Martin again, since Peter had stated that he needed the Institute for his plans, and he had already read Smirke’s letter to Jonah Magnus last time. (… Or it could also be from one of Jon’s three other unnamed victims from season 4 orz)

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #mag147 #tma liveblog #tma season 4 #the magnus archives #tma spoilers/#guess who messed up her schedule this week again #and has 'birth of a new witch' on loop #long post/#i'll stop using victorious-but-barely-conscious emoji when i'll manage to not post these at the last moment (sob.)#... ahahahaha posted the night of 6th-7th august so. obligatory. happy... anniversary... tim... *cries in tim*

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christophe-delorne · 5 years

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Good Dog

Chapter 7

Warnings: Excessive swearing

Pairings: Gregory x Christophe

AU: Adulthood

The air port was crowded, with summer beginning, people were filing in for vacation travel. Christophe had never actually properly experienced something the average person would call a vacation, he'd never be able to enjoy himself anyways. He'd been on pretend vacations, a couple with Gregory, faking being happily together while undercover for one reason or another. He hated those times the worst. Though he was certain this whole trip was going to top the list in being the worst trip. He hated America, well more so he hated the people living in it. Gregory said he was just over reacting, well, he wasn't the one to have technically died during their little trip to America as kids.

"Come now, Christophe, grab our bags, we are supposed to check in the hotel in an hour. With traffic the way it is, we will be hard pressed to make it there in time." Gregory's voice broke through Christophe's thoughts, drawing him back to the present, which wasn't exactly what he wanted. Every so often, someone would brush passed him and it was grating on his nerves. Not to mention he hadn't been able to smoke a single cigarette in over eleven hours, he was not in the best of moods to be dealing with people.

Muttering under his breath, Christophe picked the bags off the conveyor belt and extended their handles so he could roll them. As usual Gregory had denied Christophe the right to use his tattered old and trusty suitcase, instead insisting on using suitcases that looked like they cost more than what he spent in an entire year. Or two. Gregory was always one to show off his wealth in subtle ways, elegant, refined, no need to flaunt extravagantly when everyone knew his wealth and status. Christophe pulled the bags behind him as he followed after Gregory, at least the man was useful in the way people seemed to part for him, unlike for some grungy, short Frenchman with an attitude problem.

As they neared the exit doors, Christophe tensed, his gaze flickering towards someone who was approaching them directly ahead with focus set on them. He was ready to step in front of Gregory and attack when Gregory smiled and opened up his arms in welcome. The other person, who Christophe was still trying to figure out, smiled and rushed up to hug Gregory in return. Christophe relaxed in one sense but only felt irritable in another. He turned his head, deciding in favor to observe their surroundings that deal with this shit again.

"Gregory! Its been so long since I've seen you. How was your flight?" Black hair, short but styled in a way that made the person appear male, but Christophe couldn't be fore certain. Something was off, something that maybe the untrained eye couldn't see, but for someone who was used to disguising himself, Christophe knew better. However, Gregory seemed to have been expecting them and didn't glance at Christophe to give the Frenchman any hint to be on guard. So whatever secret this person was hiding, wasn't important enough to warrant further investigation from Christophe.

"Long and dreary, I'm afraid. However, worth the trip to be here once more. So catch me up on all the details on the ride to the hotel, yes?" Gregory had already hooked his arm into the crook of this stranger, seeing how Gregory didn't bother to introduce Christophe, it appeared that his services weren't required. So he just trailed silently after them, having no inclination to join the casual banter anyways. Corprate politics and boring lives of the stranger didn't appeal to Christophe. As they reached the car finally, Christophe shoved the suitcases into the back of the car, a sleek charcoal gray color. Probably electric if Christophe had to guess, but not exactly a family car either.

When Christophe slammed the trunk closed, this seemed to finally catch the stranger's attention, scowling at Christophe in annoyance because he'd been a little too rough with their car. Christophe stared back, daring the other to say something. Eleven fuckin' hours without a god damn smoke in economy class seating, Christophe was not in the mood and was just looking for a fight at this point.

"Ah, my apologies, I got so distracted trying to catch up, I forgot to introduce you two. Christophe, this is Wendyl, Wendyl, this is my co-working, Christophe." Gregory seemed to catch onto the tension and smoothly interjected to cleanly break it.

"Christophe?" Wendyl looked over to Gregory as if trying to gain further information but Gregory provided none. However, Wendyl seemed to be smart enough to start connecting the dots as he turned his gaze back to Christophe. "As I recall, you were the one who failed to save Terrance and Phillip when we were kids. Stan mentioned it a while back, but Kyle doesn't talk much about it."

"I failed?!" Christophe fired off, slamming his fist on the trunk, causing it to dent before Christophe moved around the car towards Wendyl, or Wendy, whichever they decided to call themselves now days. He'd never met them, but when they were kids, Stan hadn't shut up about her at the time. To think that people thought he was to blame for what happened back then, when it wasn't even his fight to begin with? He'd died because of the incompetence of those three other boys, it was an insult to his very name.

"Christophe, that was a long time ago, as adults, we forgive what was done as children and move on." Gregory tried to appease for once, he knew Christophe's death had been a serious, traumatic event. For both of them.

"Fuck off, Gregory." Christophe turned his seething glare onto Gregory, infuriated that he'd bring someone from that God forsaken town here, after everything they'd done to the both of them. He didn't care about the warning look on Gregory's face, Christophe would not stand for this, he'd done so many things for Gregory, but not this, Not ever. "Fuck all, I'm out. Don't even fuckin' think about crawling to me cryin' because some salope broke your pathetic heart again." Christophe waved off, dismissing the both of them and turning on his heel before either one of them could retort.

He needed a cigarette, needed to calm his nerves and stay away from anyone that even seemed familiar in this country. Eventually, he'd return to Gregory, he always did, but he needed space. He walked. And walked. With no direction in mind, just needed to move, to get as much distance as he could from Gregory. The betrayal was still raw, as if it all happened yesterday. Gregory might be able to forgive and forget, but the scars on Christophe's body would never allow him to forget. He could remember the way Gregory had looked at him that day, a sign of weakness, one Christophe had never seen again in their years together. Whatever humanity Gregory had left had been destroyed that day, all because of the people from South Park.

Christophe enter a convenience store, blindly searching for the nearest place to buy a pack of cigarettes. Of course, he used Gregory's card, the asshole owed him a pack for his troubles anyways. Christophe was all too eager to get outside so he could at least calm his addiction down. Tossing the plastic wrap in a nearby bin, he tore into the pack for a fresh cigarette, using the cheap lighter he'd bought, he lit the tip. The tip flared as Christophe sucked at the cigarette, trying to get that fix to calm his nerves.

"Hankerin' for a smoke that badly, huh?" A voice interrupted his moment of bliss, lowering his brows and glaring a warning at the man beside him. Tall, messy blond hair, looked more like a homeless person than anything. However, Christophe didn't look much better most days, so he wasn't one to judge. "Mind if I bum one off ya?"

Annoyed, he studying the other male, appeared to be his age, blue eyed with a cocky grin. Something was off about him though, so Christophe humored him for the time being. He tapped the bottom of the pack, sending a cigarette up through the slot in the top before offering it to the homeless man. The blond took it with a little laugh, placing the cigarette between his lips, leaning forward to allow Christophe to light it for him.

"Thanks bunches, Chris."

"If you know my name then you know that you should probably get the hell away from me."

"C'mon, we're practically close buddies. What's a lil' death between friends, right?"

Christophe raised a brow and pulled heavily on his cigarette as he reassessed the man beside him, not a lot of people knew about his death. Only the three boys did and he was certain this was not one of those boys. "Since you know my name, its only fair if you give me yours."

"We both know nothing in this hell hole is fair. Buuut..." The blond seemed to grin, too optimistic, perhaps a little crazy. Or maybe that's what he wanted people to think, he'd seen those types before. People won't look closely into someone if they were someone they didn't want to be around. Overly optimistic people, homeless, acting a little odd, all signs that the average person would avoid. "I guess I owe it to ya', since we didn't get to properly meet last time. You can call me Kenny and I'm here to help you on your little mission."

So it appeared Kenny was a well informed man and that alone was enough to warrant Christophe's caution. People who had too much information were dangerous and nobody in the world helped others from the kindness of their hearts. They were always trying to gain something for themselves, Christophe was no exception either.

"What's in it for you?"

"Well, I've always fancied myself as a kind of super hero. One for justice and all. But I take it you won't be satisfied with that answer, huh?" Christophe gave a slight shake of his head, only idiots thought themselves as superheroes. "I'm doing it to save a couple people I love. You know how people do anything for that, yeah? Pluuus." Kenny went on, leaning a little closer to Christophe, he could smell old clothes but underneath there was a hint of expensive perfume. Likely to be missed by the untrained, but Christophe had his senses on high alert always. It was part of his job to collect information, who knew when it might be vital to the mission.

"I can get you all the information you need."

"Why do you need me then?" Christophe flicked a bit of ash of the tip of his cigarette, it all seemed too convent for his liking.

"This job requires more than one person to complete. Its far too big for me to handle on my own. And, as you well know, I can't really rely on my dumbass childhood friends to help me. They don't have the necessary requirements to see this job through."

Christophe considered it, Kenny was right, it wasn't often one came across someone who had the abilities like Christophe did. However, if Kenny knew about him, about the mission, he'd also know about Gregory. So why not approach the Brit instead? Gregory was the planner, Christophe was simply the worker.

"You know I only take orders from Gregory. If you want me to do something, go talk to that asshole."

"Nah, I don't like talkin' to the Man in charge, I prefer one on one with the little guys. More comfortable for me that way." Kenny dug around in his worn out second hand pockets, pulling out a crumbled up bit of paper. "Here, this is my phone number. If you need anything give me a ring, maybe I'll let you buy me a drink sometime too." Kenny gave him a wink before snuffing out his cigarette on the top of a trash can before disposing it into the cigarette disposal.

"Like hell." Christophe grumbled a reply, looking down at the paper pressed into his hand. Well, it was a start and he'd tell Gregory about the encounter later. Right now he was still being pissed at the man and going back would only result in getting punished for the way he'd acted. He wasn't really looking forward to that right now, so he might as well investigate Denver a little before heading to the hotel. He watched as Kenny waved at him before crossing the street, Christophe didn't bother to return it. He'd never been the friendly sort.

#christophe #gregory #gregstophe #south park #sp #good dog #fanfic #rp #fanfiction #gregory of yardale #christophe delorne #the mole #ze mole #alternate universe #au #roleplay

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campfirecreeps · 6 years

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The Sheep Want You to Come Back

Near Edale in the Peak District, Gregory Pauline was camping with some friends in the Summer of 1990. It was about eleven-thirty at night and totally ‘pitch black’ outside, but Gregory and three friends decided to go for a walk up some nearby footpaths anyway, sharing two torches between the three of them to light up the path ahead. They had been wandering around for about thirty minutes, and they took a path over some farm fields in order to get back to their campsite. Soon into their journey across this footpath, they came to a ditch ‘with a small passage through and high bushes on either side’. They had previously been trying to scare each-other, and so they were already feeling a bit uneasy.

As they set about deciding who would have to cross the ditch first, they heard ‘a noise that sounded like a sheep on the other side of the ditch hidden by the bushes’. This wouldn’t have been unusual, but there was ‘something about the noise’ that gave the group pause. They thought that the sheep had made a noise sounding like a word, but they couldn’t make out exactly what it had said.

In what would probably be the course of action for any group of friends at this point, they started whispering between themselves, thinking that ‘it might be some people trying to play a joke’. However, this didn’t seem very likely as there was no more sound after the initial bleat - a complete absence of the sniggering and giggling that would be expected after a successful prank. ‘The atmosphere just felt wrong’. After a few minutes of tension, they started to walk backwards away from the ditch while keeping their eyes on the gap in the bushes from whence they had heard the noise. They walked slowly, trying not to fall in the many holes in the uneven ground - but all that built-up tension was promptly released when they heard another noise.

It sounded like a sheep telling them to come back. ‘The tone felt mocking, like a challenge to us, we turned and ran back to camp’. According to an addition given by someone else on the same forum who claimed to be one of the other friends in the group of three - the call for them to come back repeated itself as they sprinted away. There were apparently ‘no humans around apart from us’ and there were sheep dotted around the field.

The next day, they went back to where they thought the ditch was, but ‘could find nothing unusual’. As an interesting little footnote, and possibly a plot twist to this already bizarre story, a fellow forum user by the name of ‘mrpoultice’ offered a rational explanation which surprisingly doesn’t involve a group of three friends getting higher than the Burj Khalifa. Mrpoultice suggested that a walker or rambler could have tripped over and may have been lying in the bushes between the witnesses and the sheep, calling out for help. Apparently this has happened to him personally while he was out walking, and he eventually had to crawl back to the nearest civilisation while surrounded by nonplussed sheep.

Source: https://forums.forteana.org/index.php?threads/talking-sheep.9854/

#Paranormal #Talking Animals #Maybe Not Paranormal #Just Kinda Spooky #Peak District #England #Britain

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sending-the-message · 6 years

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Etch-E-Sketch (FINAL) by MidnightWritings

Part 4

The word pain couldn’t even begin to describe what I felt when I woke up. I didn’t bother opening my eyes right away, too afraid to see what was around me. I didn’t wake up thinking I was back at home, in my bed, safely tucked away. And I didn’t wake up like last time, worrying about where I was, being completely disoriented. Instead, I woke up with a flood of memories, it seemed like the entire day played back in my head the minute I regained consciousness. That’s why I was afraid to open my eyes.

My head was flopped back, my neck and upper spine screaming at me. I could tell I was sitting in a chair, but not a very comfortable one. My arms rested on something in front of me, from what I could tell it felt plastic. Maybe a table? I tried lifting my head up, but it felt like gravity was working against me. I went to lift my hands to my neck, but they slammed back down against the table.

I opened my eyes, looking at the foamy tiles of a drop ceiling. I blinked through the blaring fluorescent lights and grunted as I strained to lift my head. My eyes followed the walls down to a collection of children’s desks in front of me.

I went to fully sit up, pulling my legs in, and my kneecaps whacked against the top of the attached desk. My eyes fluttered across my exposed arms. Strips of cloth were tied around them, connecting to the legs of my desk and chair. I went to lean forward and felt a braided cloth dig into my stomach. I was seat belted and strapped down to a children’s desk. I tugged at my restraints, but they hardly moved. These weren’t just plain, white clothes, they were colorful, some held sparkles and designs. I turned my wrist and saw a white ruffle intertwined with what looked like a glittery unicorn. Tucked underneath one piece of fabric was a white strip of silky paper stitched into the seam. A clothing tag labeled ‘small’. I was being held down with clothes from children.

I started to feel it again, the same feeling from the missing posters room. Their eyes. I kept twisting my wrists, the skin turning red and raw, burnt from the growing friction. The makeshift belt around my stomach dug further into my torso, pressing against my bladder. Thank God it was empty. The legs of my seat scratched against the concrete ground as I tried to loosen myself, making me look around to see if Ms. Jennifer was close enough to hear my movement.

The walls of the makeshift classroom were worn and dirty, dark ooze dripping down where the ceiling and the walls met. Discolored posters were taped against the walls, trying to hide old stains, but not doing much for the overall feel of the room. The old cartoons’ faces were barely visible, spots of blue from their eyes or a tooth here and there poked through every once in a while. The bold printed words screamed out to ‘Wash Your Hands’ or to ‘Learn Something New Today’. A felt rug covered the cement floor. It was designed with different colored shapes, blue and yellow swirls filling in the gaps between. The edges of the rug curled up, snags and pills scattering over the surface.

Strewn around the room were children’s toys of all kinds. Three different stuffed animals were sat huddled together under the broken window, stackable, plastic blocks were scattered around the mat, and even an ant farm lay forgotten by the chalkboard.

It wasn’t until I twisted my head around that I really started to yank at my restraints. Behind me was a homemade cubby section. Wooden planks were sloppily nailed together, ends of bent nails sticking out from each board. At the top of the crooked square cubbies were names written on painter’s tape, the white sharpie marks popping out from the blue material. My eyes filtered over name after name, stopping at ones that I recognized, Max’s friends.

Amy

Donald

Gary

Gregory

Max

My eyes watered as I found my brother’s name, his backpack neatly hanging on the hook underneath his cubby. The main zipper on his bag was opened, the unattached teeth exposing the contents of his bag. I saw all his toys from home except for one. I spotted his red toy car, his mini dump truck, his roaring t-rex, and his stuffed rabbit named Cooper, but one toy was missing. The Etch-E-Sketch.

I practically jumped out of my chair, thrashing around to try to break free. I kicked the legs, trying to bend the rusted steel and slip the bondages off. I winced each time the legs slid across the floor or every dull thwack my heel gave to the iron. I wanted to get out, but I didn’t want Ms. Jennifer knowing I was awake.

“Oh, looks who’s up from their nap?” her airy voice sailed into the room, her lanky body following quickly after.

Her jacket was off and, despite the biting cold around the room, her forehead had broken into a sweat. She carried three green glass bottles in her arms, neatly setting them down on her dust covered teachers desk. She walked around the desk and pulled out her seat, quietly plopping down. She bent over and pulled open one of the desk drawers, bringing up a stained wine glass. A permanent ring had tarnished the glass about three quarters from the top.

She neatly folded her hands atop the desk, smiling sweetly at me, “Ready for your lesson?”

“You’re about to get a lesson. Piece of shit,” I mumbled, no longer hiding my temper.

“Oh, what language,” Ms. Jennifer scolded. “We’ll have to do something about that.”

“Touch me and you die,” I warned, still yanking at my arm restraints.

Her shrill laugh cackled around the room, vibrating in my ears before churning in my stomach, “Oh, you’re a treat.” She stood up and grabbed a bottle and her glass, walking around to lean against the front of her desk. “Fun fact; did you know that blood has been in all sorts of beauty treatments since the Victorian Era?”

I refused to look at her, staying focused on getting away. I tried to block out her voice, but it was like a fly constantly buzzing around my head.

“Back when being pale was all the rage,” she continued, “people would actually drain some of their blood to get a lighter color. There’s even one story of a woman bathing in blood to keep a youthful glow to her skin, did you know that?” she asked, her voice somehow getting even higher.

I still refused to look at her. I heard her pop the cork on the bottle she held, bringing to her nose, and sniffing its contents. A sigh escaped her lips that made me want to vomit all over myself.

“And most recently something called a Vampire Facial?” she asked, an incredulous tone taking over her voice. “Wasteful. Injecting your own blood into your face isn’t going to help anything,” she laughed. “They were all on the right track, but the trick is to start from the inside out.” I heard her slosh the liquid within the bottle around, stirring up whatever was inside. “I assume you found your parents?”

This made my eyes flash up toward her, my body freezing.

“Oh, there we are,” she smiled. “They weren’t the best candidates, but I was running out of time. Thirsty?” she asked, holding the bottle out toward me.

I could feel my eyes grow, starting to realize what might be in that wine bottle. I pushed my feet against the ground, trying to move away from her.

“Come on, I made it myself,” she smiled, slowly tipping the bottle over her wine glass.

The thick liquid seeped from the open bottle top, chunks of coagulated blood slapping against the glass. She gently filled it up, three quarters of the way, before setting the bottle down. She brought the glass up to her nose, sniffing the iron into her lungs. I couldn’t watch as she brought the glass up to her lips.

GULP. GULP. GULP.

I bit my tongue, not wanting her to hear the sob slowly crawling up my throat. I flinched at the sloppy pop her lips made as an audible ‘ah’ rocketed through her mouth.

“I must say, your parents aged like…a fine wine,” she smiled, her white teeth stained red.

“You’re disgusting,” I hissed.

“Well, if you can’t appreciate that little joke, you’re going to hate what I labeled them,” she said, picking up the wine bottle and reading the cursive writing on the makeshift labeled. “A Baker’s Dozen. Nice little play on your last name, huh?” she teased.

I couldn’t hold my tongue any longer. I thrashed and cursed every curse I could remember. I screamed until my voice went horse. I violently tipped my chair on it’s two back legs, threatening to fall backward. My hair stuck to my tear stained cheeks, itching my skin, and poking my eyes. I huffed, trying to catch my breath between sobs and curses.

Ms. Jennifer stood back, watching me with a tilted head. “You know,” she said, once I had quieted down, “they say to ignore a child that’s throwing a temper tantrum, that they’ll tire themselves out eventually.” She slowly walked forward, bringing the bottle of my parents’ blood with her, “But sometimes, I think they’re just hungry.”

“No,” I breathed, all feeling draining from my face as she got closer. “Stay the fuck away from me!”

I felt her boney fingers wrap around the back of my neck, her nails pinching into my skin. I tried to lean back as far as I could, only further trapping myself into her grasp. I felt the sticky bottle tap against my lips. I squished my mouth shut, sucking my lips into my mouth, trying to stop any way for blood to get in. The bottle dug into my mouth, bashing against my teeth through the thin layer of skin protecting them.

She tipped the bottle and I felt the still warm liquid sop over my face. The syrupy blood stuck to my skin and hair. I grunted and tried turning my face, making her nails dig further into the back of my neck. She fully tipped the bottle, making the blood run over my mouth and up into my nose. I felt the warm goop run down my sinuses, making their way into the back of my esophagus. I couldn’t help the gag that erupted out of my mouth, blood now coating my tongue and teeth. I couldn’t catch my breath through the bombarding gelatin that slid down my throat.

It tasted like metal, salty and sour at the same time. My eyes watered as I gurgled against the intrusion. I heard her creepy giggle as she pulled the bottle away from my face. I turned to the side and wretched, everything coming back up my throat and landing on the cement with a splat. I was horrified to see most of it was red. My shoulders bounced at the sobs falling from my mouth while snot, tears, blood, vomit, and drool dripping from my face.

I briefly felt something on my left leg but didn’t kick my foot out in time. I could only freely move my right leg now, she had tied my left ankle to the desk. She stood in front of me and shook her head, walking away with the now empty bottle. Ms. Jennifer pulled open an armoire in the corner of the room, revealing rows of empty wine bottles. She carefully pushed one aside and placed my parent’s empty bottle with the rest of her collection.

“Now, I want to do a little experiment,” she giggled, pulling something else from a drawer in her desk, hiding it behind her back, “consider this the science part of your lesson.”

She stopped in front of my desk and I swung my right leg out to kick her, snarling as I did. My face dropped when she caught it midair, squeezing the muscle in my calf. I winced as the cramp starting to form and tried to wrench my leg away. She smiled and turned around, tucking my leg under her arm, my foot in front of her. I felt her slowly lift my shoe up and off my foot, exposing my toes to the winter air.

“I just want to see how much of a difference you would make to my recipe,” she explained, holding the pliers up for me to see.

“No!” I screamed, trying to wiggle out of her grasp.

My leg barely moved. She was too strong, abnormally strong. She threw her head back in laughter, some of her stringy hair landing on my desk, brushing against my fingertips. I got a handful of her hair and yanked as hard as I could, bashing her head against the desktop.

She growled and pulled my leg up, hyperextending my knee. It felt like my kneecap was going to pop off, the tendons burning all the way up to my hip. I screamed and let go of her hair, wanting the pain to stop.

“I don’t want to kill you just yet,” she hissed through her teeth, “so I’ll only need a little drop.” She placed the pliers over my big toe, the two metal prongs gripping it tightly. “This little piggy went to the market,” she sang, moving the pliers down my row of toes. “This little piggy stayed home. This little piggy had roast beef. This little piggy had none. Now this little piggy,” she jeered, squeezing the pliers around my baby toe.

I yelled, trying to flex my toes out from her grasp. I couldn’t see what she was doing, but I could imagine what was coming next. I felt the ends of the plier prongs slip under the edge of my toenail, grabbing hold.

“Cried, wee, wee, WEE,” she barked, slowly pulling my toenail from my skin.

The scream started from my stomach and radiated through my chest, finally exploding out of my mouth. It made my body jerk forward, the braided belt digging even further into my stomach.

“All the way home,” she smiled, holding my toenail up between the plier’s mouth.

She let my foot drop, the vibration of when it landed on the floor sent a shock of pain through the exposed skin on my toe. She walked over to her desk, wiping the little flecks of blood off her hands, and grabbed another full bottle. Ms. Jennifer glided over toward me, yanking my foot back up and pinching the bottom of my baby toe, squeezing blood out of the exposed skin. I felt the hot droplets pool and slowly drip into the open bottle top.

She let my foot fall again and swirled the few drops of blood that were taken from me around, mixing it all together. She brought it up to her lips and winced, spitting a wad of red gunk from her mouth.

“Ugh,” she shuddered, “not good. You’re…sour. Bitter.” She bent over the desk and spat in my face, “Rotten. You’ve ruined a whole bottle!” she yelled, throwing the green glass aside.

I jumped as it shattered against the wall, splattering blood and glass around the room. She moved behind me and I felt her boney fingers grasp onto the back of my chair, grating the iron legs across the floor.

“Time for a field trip!” she chirped, her dreamy voice echoing around.

She pushed me through the room and out the door into the hallway. I scraped my heel along the floor, trying to stop her as much as I could. I felt my skin being shredded by the rough ground, chunks of my flesh being sanded away.

“MAX!” I screamed, my voice being carried down the hall. “MAX!” I just wanted to hear that he was alive, that he was still okay.

“Oh good,” her airy voice wafted from behind me, “call him. Little brat ran off before I could get a good grip on him.”

My heart felt like it did a cartwheel, excitement pumping through my veins as I realized Max was alive. He had escaped her. He had done it. I couldn’t help but smile through my tears.

“MAX!” I yelled again. “STAY WHERE YOU ARE! STAY HIDDEN! DON’T COME OUT! YOU’RE GOING TO BE FI-”

I gagged as something was shoved into my mouth, it’s rotten, stained taste sinking onto my saliva. I tried to move my tongue, tried to shove the cloth out of my mouth, but the more I tried the more juice squished out from the fabric.

“Shh, shh,” Ms. Jennifer babbled, whispering into my ear, “we’re almost there.”

She pushed my desk into a wall, hidden hinges squealing as my knees bashed against a swinging door. My eyes couldn’t adjust fast enough to the blackness in front of me, but Ms. Jennifer seemed to have no trouble at all navigating through the musty, hidden hall.

The air smelled burnt, not like firewood or smoldering food, but like asphalt and hair. It felt like I was leaning forward, my chair tilting at an angle as I was pushed along. The temperature seemed to, somehow, get hotter and for a good, long while I genuinely thought we were going into Hell. I could hear a distant crackling sound, something spitting and snapping, getting louder as we got closer.

She slid my chair and desk around a sharp corner and I was bathed in an orange glow. An oven, a big vat of wrought iron, sat squat in the middle of the room. The furnace unleashed a torrent of flames, most staying inside the iron confines, but some snuck their way out, licking the sides of the container.

My chair was pushed a little too close to the open flames, the heat making my skin moisten with sweat and I was afraid I was going to come out of this with no eyebrows. But honestly, if eyebrows and one toenail was all that was missing from me when I got out, I would be a happy camper. I was going to get out of this, both me and Max. There was no other option.

Ms. Jennifer walked around me, sticking her face closer to the open flames and wafting the smoke to her nose. Little particles of what looked to be dust floated around the air, giving everything a hazy lens.

She turned to me and smiled, her skin glowing bright orange in the fire’s light, “The kiddies love coming down here, dancing around, seeing how close they can get.” She smiled, remembering all the times she had brought the little kids down here. “It seemed only right that this was the last place they saw.”

It wasn’t until I looked through the flames and into the embers that I saw it. Bones. Skinny bones, some still covered in bits of sizzling fabric, others completely browned from the hot flames. I was looking at the cremated remains of hundreds of children. It wasn’t dust in the air or that covered the ground, it was ashes. I held my breath, not wanting to breathe anything in.

Ms. Jennifer reached into a cabinet next to the furnace, grabbing a shovel that was leaning against the wall at the same time. She held something in her hand, but I couldn’t see what it was until she stepped back into the firelight. A Barbie Doll. She popped off the head of the doll and set it back down. She grabbed a hidden funnel from the shadows behind the furnace and jammed it into the Barbie’s neck. Taking she shovel, she scooped some of the cooled ashes into the funnel, filling the dolls hollow body with the children’s remains.

“They make the best toys, don’t you think?” she asked, popping the doll’s head back on.

Images flashed in my mind; the teddy bears laying under the window, the scattered blocks on the felt rug, the forgotten ant farm. Those toys weren’t stuffed with teddy bear fluff, or made from plastic, or packed with dirt, they were all filled with children’s ashes. That’s why Max has so many friends at daycare, they were trapped there, even after death.

“And I have just the toy for little Max,” she smiled, pulling out a box labeled ‘My Pet Rock’.

I jumped as Ms. Jennifer’s knees were swept out from under her. She crumpled over, hitting her head on the edge of the furnace and laid still on the ground. From the shadows, Max stepped out with the baseball bat firmly in both hands. His face was covered in soot and his yellow shirt was now a dark mustard.

“Max,” my muffled cry sounded. He ran over to me, ripping the cloth from my mouth. “Are you okay?” I whispered, not wanting to wake Ms. Jennifer up.

“I’m fine,” he nodded. “I’m scared, Joanne,” he cried, tears leaving trails of clean skin over his cheeks.

“Don’t be, we’re going to get out,” I nodded, eyes flickering over toward Ms. Jennifer’s still body. “I need your help. Can you untie me?”

Max nodded his head and took the cloth in between his little fingers. He worked at the knots but couldn’t seem to loosen them. We both jumped as Ms. Jennifer groaned.

“Joanne!” Max cried, fingers trembling.

“It’s okay,” I assured, “stand back.”

I waited until Max stepped away before I rocked my chair, tipping the desk sideways. I landed on my right set of ribs, bouncing a bit against the cement floor. I bit back a hiss, trying not to focus on the blooming pain. I pulled my left ankle down the leg of the desk, feeling it fall free as the restraint slipped off the bottom. I tried to reach down and slip my arm restraints off, but the desk leg was too long. I had to break it. I tucked the iron leg in the nook behind my knee and pulled.

I saw Ms. Jennifer try to slide her arm up under herself, groaning as she pushed her hair away from her face.

“Joanne!” Max shrieked.

“Max, run,” I ordered, hearing the metal leg whine as I bent it.

He ran into the shadows and came back out with the Etch-E-Sketch in hand. I heard the patter of his gym shoes run up the vaulted hallway, hopefully out the door and away from this entire place.

I gave one final grunt as the desk leg snapped off at its rusted joint. I pulled my arm down and around the bottom of the ragged end, finally being able to stretch my arm freely. I leaned over the other side and freed my right hand as well. I was almost completely out. I looked up and saw Ms. Jennifer was gone, along with the bat, a clear print was marked in the ashes where her body once laid.

My hands tore at the cloth around my stomach, but I couldn’t get the knot undone either. I pushed it down lower on my hips, wincing as it ripped at my skin, almost too tight to shimmy out of. I forced the cloth over my hips and butt, kicking my legs as I pulled myself free over the cement ground.

I heard her grunt and I turned, rolling away just in time to miss the bat. She had swung it over her head, intending on bashing my skull open. The bat cracked against the cement floor as she growled. I scrambled away, snagged the broken off desk leg. I stood up and swung as she looked over at me. The jagged edge of the broken leg made contact with her forehead, right between her eyes. She flopped backwards and bounced on the ground, moaning as she pushed her palm on the open gash in her skin.

“Stay down!” I spat, quickly running over to the furnace.

I tossed the Barbie Doll she made into the fire and stuffed as many matchboxes from the cabinet into my jeans as I possibly could. I ran right passed her, picking up both the iron bar and the bat, and sprinted up the inclined hallway, the orange light disappearing behind me.

“Ugh,” I heard her growl, a base tone reverberating in her throat. “I think someone needs a time out.”

I just pumped my arms harder, limping slightly at the fact one of my shoes was missing. The dusty floor irritated my open wound, ash and soot settling into the area where my toenail was supposed to be. For a while, the only sound I could hear was my breathing and the irregular stomp and slap of my booted foot and bare foot bounding up the hall.

STOMP. SLAP. STOMP. SLAP.

SCREEEEEE

Something sounded from behind me. I could only imagine what it could have been, but I didn’t dare look back. I saw a faint halo of light coming from around the hidden door in the wall. I braced my arms and burst through the door, back into the afternoon sunlit hallway. I saw Max at the end of the hall. He stopped and turned toward me, running back my way.

“Max, no!” I yelled, sprinting as hard as I could. “Keep going! Get out!”

I spared a look behind me and saw her pale, insect like fingers slowly creep around the door. I stumbled a bit, but quickly regained my balance, bursting back into the classroom. I looked around and spotted all the toys. I couldn’t let the kids stay here. They needed to get out. I grabbed the nearest teddy bear and jammed the spiked iron bar into its stomach, ripping open the fabric to see grey dust puff out instead of cotton. I dumped out the ashes and watched them swirl into the air a bit, seeming to evaporate among the oxygen.

“Joanne,” Max called, suddenly appearing behind me.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, ripping into another stuffed animal. “I told you to get out.”

“Not alone,” he shook his head.

I glanced at him as I shook out the second stuffed toy’s ashes. I nodded and handed him the bat, “Alright, then help me. Smash everything in this room. Anything that can be broken, break it.”

He nodded and went to work, bashing walls, denting the cabinet doors, shattering glass vases, and even sent spider vein cracks into the window. Between the two of us, the air was filled with ashes before we had time to cover our noses. I coughed a bit as I threw the ant farm to the ground, grey particles seeping out from the glass instead of brown dirt.

“Joanne!” Max called through the hazy air.

“Here!” I called, wiping the sweat off my cheek. I reached my hand out and felt Max’s shoulder. “All done?”

“I think,” he shrugged, now holding onto his red, plastic toy.

Like lightning before thunder, I knew what I had to do next. It made sense, the roll the Etch-E-Sketch played. The messages, how it always seemed to know what was going on, how it moved on its own. The one-word notes flashed through my brain.

STOP. They were telling me to stop sending Max to daycare. To stop letting Ms. Jennifer take my brother. To stop ignoring everything.

HELP. They needed me to do something, say something. To help stop this.

HER. They were telling me it was her. Her who was causing the trouble. Her who had taken my parents. Her who would hurt my family.

RUN. They knew she was outside my house, in the woods, stalking me. I needed to get out, leave, run.

“How did you know where to hide?” I asked, eyeing the Etch-E-Sketch.

As suspected, he looked down at the toy’s screen. “My friends,” he whispered.

“Max, give me the toy.”

“No,” he backed away.

Down the hall, I could hear heavy footsteps. Footsteps that sounded too loud, too big. The ground vibrated underneath us with each footfall.

“Kiddies!” Ms. Jennifer’s dreamy voice wafted down the hall. “Now’s not the time for hide and seek.”

“Max, please!” I begged.

“No!” he cried.

“We don’t have time-”

“They can’t go,” he cried, hugging the toy to his chest. “They’re my friends.”

“They’re stuck,” I shook my head. “They want to go home, just like you do. We can help them go home.”

Max peeled the toy from his chest and looked down at it, tears spilling over his cheeks. He looked up and nodded, handing over the Etch-E-Sketch. I grabbed it and went to bust if over my knee but stopped. A final message was scrawled over the screen, the last letter being squiggled on.

THANKS

I nodded, wiping my own tears from my eyes, crying for the babies that didn’t make it out. For the families that put out the missing posters, who went to bed at night wondering where their sister, brother, child went.

I gripped the edges of the Etch-E-Sketch and shook the message away. I jammed the flat surface over the boniest part of my knee, splitting the toy right down the middle. Grey ash tumbled from the crack, black flecks of magnetic dust sprinkled throughout. I watched the ashes sink to the floor, getting swept up as a winter breeze blew through the broken window of the room.

I gently bent down, shaking the last bits of ash from the toy before placing the plastic remains on the ground. “You’re welcome,” I whispered, stepping away with Max.

“Run down the hall, alright?” I told him, reaching into my back pocket for a box of matches. “Don’t stop running until you’re out of this building.

“Okay,” he said, backing away from the room.

I lit five matches at a time, throwing them around, wanting to burn the entire place down. The curtains were the first thing to catch, then the wooden teachers table, and then the teddy bear skins. I didn’t stay to watch the rest. I ran out into the hall and kicked open the missing persons room, striking more matches and tossing them around. The papers lit instantly, throwing a yellow glow out into the hall.

“What have you done!?” I heard Ms. Jennifer shriek.

I turned just in time to see her walk into her old classroom. Her back was hunched, and she seemed to almost bounce as she walked. I heard her bones snap and pop and she walked into the classroom.

I threw the last bundle of matches and ran across the hall, seeing Max standing at the corner, watching me. I shooed him away and covered my nose, pushing open the door to the room I wish I could forget.

I couldn’t leave Mom and Dad. They couldn’t stay here. They needed to be buried, have a funeral, they deserved at least that. I tried not to focus on their faces, tried to ignore the fact that my parents sat in a pile on the floor, looking like raisins. I grabbed one of my dad’s arms and one of my mom’s and started tugging. My fingers dug into their skin, feeling their bones, and dried up veins under my fingertips. Their skin moved and slid freely under my hands. It made me gag, but it reminded me of fried chicken, how the greasy skin can so easily be removed.

“Joanne,” Max whispered, making me jump.

I turned around and put my body in between his eyes and my dead parents, “Max, don’t look.”

“I know,” he hung his head, wrapping his fingers around the belt loop of my jeans. “we need to go.”

“Max,” I tried speaking, the lump getting too big to hold back, “I can’t leave them.” I openly cried, allowing my legs to give out. “They need to come home.”

“They are,” Max cried, hugging me around the neck, “they are home.”

I couldn’t help but smile at him. This four-year-old was stronger than me in every way. Stronger in knowledge, spirit, and even faith. I nuzzled my wet cheeks against this hair and pulled away.

“You’re right,” I nodded, turning back to my parents.

I set both their arms back down, laying their hands next to each other. I pulled both their wedding rings off before standing up, slipping the gold into my pocket. I felt in my other pocket and pulled out the last box of matches. I led Max out into the hallway and lit a handful, throwing them down the hallway. I didn’t bother trying to catch fire to the room my parents were in, there was too much blood. I walked backwards, throwing ignited matches down the hall all the way.

I didn’t start running until I saw Ms. Jennifer snake her head out from one of the classrooms, her hair making an appearance before her face. Her stingy locks were thrown out of their regular braid and her eyes were milkier than usual. Her smile was what made me turn and run.

I scooped Max up into my arms and ran like I had never run before. I told him to keep his eyes closed and head down. The extra weight didn’t make anything easier, but the adrenalin helped. I couldn’t feel my legs, but I knew they were still running. I couldn’t feel my heart, but it still pumped. I clung to Max and tried to regulate my breathing.

I turned my body and slammed my weight against the front door of the house, getting slapped by the biting wind and snowflakes. Piles of snow erupted as I trudged through them, soaking my clothes, and numbing my exposed skin. I ran into the street and through the neighborhood, crying as I heard police sirens in the distance.

I collapsed to the ground as their red and blue lights flashed around the snow-covered buildings, finally allowing myself to rest.

It was over.

It turns out, the police station had been able to track down my location when I attempted to call 9-1-1. They said it helped that I had my GPS tracker activated.

Me and Max were taken to the nearest hospital, he was completely fine, not a scratch on him. I was given some antibiotics once I told the nurses that I was forced to drink blood. They bandaged up my toe too, and I was treated for frostbite and a bruised rib.

They said by the time the firemen got there, the building was about ready to collapse. They didn’t really have any other choice but to let it burn down. They had found the remains of my parents, but only their skulls and some partially disintegrated bones, everything else was gone.

Me and Max were released from the hospital a week later. Instead of being able to nap and fully grasp what we had been through, I had to plan a memorial for my parents. It was small, just close family and friends. My lab partners were the first people there, bringing food and flowers. Max filled up a jar with his favorite rocks, the Geode going in last, and I wrapped a little ribbon around it, their wedding bands hanging on each bow. It was what we had left of them, instead of an urn or funeral flowers, we had a jar of rocks.

I dropped out of school and work from home now, filing lab data from the comfort of my childhood living room. My boss says I am welcome to come back to the lab any time I want. I don’t think it’s going to be soon. I want to be here for Max. Maybe once he starts high school I’ll go back, but for right now I’m staying put.

I’ve just been able to sit down and process what had all happened. Being able to write it out helped a lot. I’ve only recently gotten my appetite back. I can’t eat anything fried and nothing with cucumbers, those smells alone make me want to vomit.

I’ve developed a bad habit of rechecking things. I go around the house at least three times at night, checking that the doors are locked, the windows are latched tight, and making sure the blinds are shut. Max never leaves my sight either. I can tell he’s growing annoyed with me, but I can’t help it. He’s starting kindergarten soon, I signed him up for class and cried the whole time. We meet with his teacher next week. You better believe I have been doing nonstop research on the school. I will be driving him to class and picking him up every day.

I don’t sleep anymore, not at night at least. I’ll pass out on the couch in the middle of the day and wake up shaking. I only have nightmares. The doctors say they will go away and I’ll be able to sleep like normal soon, but I don’t think so. I won’t be able to rest until I know what happened to Ms. Jennifer. Whether she burned or ran away, I don’t care. It’s the not knowing that keeps me up.

I think back to the first day I talked to my brother and how far we have come. It makes me sick to think about all the ‘what if’s. What if I continued to ignore him? What if he went to daycare one more time? What if Max had never brought that Etch-E-Sketch home?

And to think, I yelled at him for stealing.

#reddit #nosleep #scary #story

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thehikingviking · 3 years

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Kandlbinder Peak & Ventana Double Cone from Andrew Molera State Park

Ventana Double Cone is a bit of an enigma. Standing at a mere 4,856 ft, it is not the tallest mountain along California’s central coast. I wouldn’t consider it well known either, as it lies deep within the Ventana Wilderness, hidden from all but the most committed hikers. However, what it lacks in elevation and fame, it makes up for in terms of remoteness, ruggedness and inhospitableness. I would go so far as to state that Ventana Double Cone is one of the most difficult peaks to climb in the state, at least at the time of this writing. At one point there was a long, but straightforward trail to the fire lookout on the summit. Access to several key trailheads has been closed due to wild fires and landslides, allowing the fast growing brush to quickly reclaim many sections of trail; ceanothus, manzanita, and of course, poison oak just to name a few. The Los Padres ranger district claims they have no money or resources to maintain the trails, so infrequent and minimal trail maintenance is done by volunteers. These efforts are just a drop in the ocean compared to what is needed to fully open up all of the deep Ventana trails.

I had been monitoring bigsurtrailmaps.net over the past few years to try to get a feel for the recent trail conditions. I was planning on climbing Ventana Double Cone from Pat Springs, but a second hand report described the last section of the trail as impassable. I then came across Mike Toffey’s trip reports on Peakbagger.com. He had recently summitted Ventana Double Cone and the nearby Kandlbinder Peak multiple times, and there was a lot of information in his trip reports. From what I was able to glean, horrible bushwhacking and crawling was necessary if one were to retrace his previous steps. Piecing together various fragments of information, I came up with a route that could potentially minimize the worst of the bushwhacking while allowing me to summit both Ventana Double Cone and Kandlbinder Peak. I discussed the idea of a trip and some strategies with Colin Gregory and Daryn Dodge, veterans from my previous Ventana Cone outing. Colin gave me the great idea to reach out to Mike Toffey directly, noting that Mike planned, “to return soon to spend a few days clearing it.” Mike confirmed in text messages that he was interested in returning yet again, and he agreed that my planned route, which would only be a slight deviation from his previous route, would make for a good choice. Remember when they said not to meet strangers on the internet? Mike would later confirm that our latest route was probably the easiest way to get the two peaks in one outing. We planned to start from Andrew Molera State Park along Highway 1, follow the E Molera Trail to Post Summit, continue towards Cabezo Prieto, and follow the ridgeline east until reaching camp along the ridgeline where Mike promised we would find reliable water. The next day we planned to follow the ridgeline up to Kandlbinder Peak, descend 2,000 ft into The Drain, and climb back out onto the summit of Ventana Double Cone. From our prized summit, we planned to retrace our steps, which meant dropping back into The Drain and reclimbing Kandlbinder Peak, Cabezo Prieto and Post Summit. This was different from Mike's previous trip where he stayed along the ridge between Ventana Double Cone and Kandlbinder Peak, which he reported as extremely brushy and downright dangerous. Once the trip was set, Kathy Rich decided to join as well since she was eager to see the center of Ventana Wilderness.

Colin, Mike and I carpooled together from San Jose. I was relieved to learn that Mike was a young, enthusiastic peak bagger, not so different than myself. We shared a lot of peaks of interest. I was perplexed as to why he wanted to return so soon. He claimed that he wanted to establish this route, and he also said he was eager to meet all of us, since he’d seen our names in various summit registers and on Peakbagger. We met Daryn and Kathy at the trailhead putting the final touches to their overnight packs along Highway 1. This is where I usually say that crossing the freeway was the most dangerous part of the hike, however for this trip that would not be the case. The trail ran perpendicular from the freeway and climbed steeply up the hillside until the cars became only an afterthought. I took note of the thick patches of poison oak that lined the trail. Shortly after we emerged onto a steep road that climbed up towards the giant switchback above.

I had done this section of trail once previously as a through hike from Pfeiffer Big Sur State Park to Andrew Molera State Park in an effort to climb Manuel Peak, Cabezo Prieto and Post Summit in one day. That was quite the eventful trip as we saw both a mountain lion and a condor on that lovely day. An apparent difference was the amount of green this time around. I last was here in June, but early April made for much better conditions.

The old road turned trail made a big switchback across the steep mountain face. Colin and Mike ran off ahead while Daryn, Kathy and I were content to hang back and take our time. I knew that this trip would take every bit of energy that I could muster, so I resigned to play the role of the tortoise in this race.

It was not long before Mike got his first tick. I had mostly forgotten about the suckers, lost in “what peaks have you done since” conversation with Daryn and Kathy. Mike is somehow able to feel the tick bite as soon as it starts to burrow in his skin, and can pull it out before it gets too deep. In the few times where I’ve been bitten, I can never feel the bite, and only discover them afterwards by brush of my hand. It was a somber reminder of what lay ahead, so I took some time every now and then to check myself.

We reached a patch of pines where we took our first rest. Mike claims that a rattlesnake struck at him at this location on a previous trip. I took my pack off and laid down in the shade. Somehow, Mike's water container leaked here and we expected no running water until reached camp. We divvied up the remaining water between ourselves to make sure our guide would have enough to make it. Pico Blanco stood majestically to the north.

We had a long way to go, so I shouldered the pack and we continued onwards to Post Summit.

The trail gradually climbed up and down, but mostly up through green grasses and brilliant poppies. After 4.5 miles we reached a grassy knoll that marked the end of the easy trail.

From here, a cut through the brush climbed steeply up the remaining mile to Post Summit.

I took this section slowly, as it began to get warm. I emerged from the chaparral onto a limestone outcropping which marked my first summit of the trip. To the northwest stood Pico Blanco.

To the southwest was the Pacific Ocean.

To the southeast stood Cabezo Prieto. Hello darkness my old friend.

To the northeast stood Uncle Sam Mountain and Kandlbinder Peak.

We continued along the ridgeline, doing the opposite of what I did a few years back. I was going through a lot of water and was concerned that I might run out. I put all my faith in Mike because if the water source at camp was somehow dry, it would become a seriously dangerous situation for me. Mike remained steadfast, but I needed to see it to truly believe it.

Down into a saddle, then back up a steep trail we went. It looked like at one point a road used to run over the ridge. How nice would it have been to have a trailhead at the summit of Cabezo Prieto instead? Mike got his second tick here, ripping it off his shoulder blade like a wild man. Ventana Double Cone began to peak out from behind Kandlbinder Peak. It was hard to believe that we would go all the way over there.

We took another long rest on Cabezo Prieto. It was a grunt to get there, but we were done with most of the elevation gain (sort of). I learned later that Colin threw up here, most likely due to exhaustion. We dropped down the ridge here, following what seemed to be game trails. Down, down, down we went, and steeply at that. What at first was grassy slopes slowly became brushier and brushier. Mike confidently led the way here, using his Fiskars 15 Inch PowerGear Super Loppers to clear overgrown sections when necessary. His knowledge of the terrain was invaluable. The “trail” which we followed was not much more than a weakness in the vegetation, and whenever something didn’t look right, he would take the time to make sure we didn’t wander far from the path. Some sections were incredibly steep, and I tried my hardest to keep my balance and not fall into one of the many patches of poison oak. I had long pants and a long sleeve shirt on, which would minimize my exposure to the plant, however it would be nearly impossible to get through without some oils eventually reaching skin. We sidehilled through lush patches of lupine, but such sections were short lived as it wouldn’t be long before we entered the thicket once more.

-Ceanothus

We paused at one of the old time Ventana Wilderness signs. I’m not sure what they represent, but my best guess is that they indicate where to drop down to a water source.

Our energy was wavering, as was the daylight. I was covered with sweat and dust. Mike promised us that we were close and we finally emerged on a god forsaken semi-flat section of ridgeline which we deemed Toffey Camp.

-Kandlbinder Peak & Mulberger Dome

I quickly set up my tent, then Mike and I dropped down 200 feet to refill our waters. Low and behold, there was fresh, running water just as Mike had promised. Hallelujah! The hike back up to camp wasn’t so bad, and we ate dinner as the sun began to sink below Cabezo Prieto.

The next day we woke up and got going a little after sunrise at 7am. We probably should have gotten an earlier start, but I was beat from the previous day’s adventure.

The Soberanes Fire scorched this whole ridgeline back in 2016. While most Californians are fed up with the many recent wildfires within the state, I welcome them as an opportunity to access some of the more choked in peaks. My only regret is not doing this trip a few years back when there was even less brush to contend with.

-Pico Blanco & Launtz Ridge

We waded through knee to waist high manzanita while staying atop the ridge. We reached a limestone outcropping that we had to climb up and over.

From the limestone peaklet, Mulberger Peak and Kandlbinder Peak stood only a short distance away.

The light manzanita slowly gave way to grassy slopes. I spotted a few ticks clinging to my pant legs here and I promptly flicked them off. Ventana Double Cone became visible as we gained a higher section of the ridge.

Mulberger Dome was upon us soon after. I was not aware that Mulburger Dome even existed until this trip. This feature and the subsequent Kandlbinder Peak are unofficially named after Alfred Kandlbinder and Roy Mulberger, original members of the Ventana Chapter of the Sierra Club.

We skirted below the rocky face to the left, then hiked steeply up the grassy slopes to the base of the crumbly dome. We had a short and loose class 3 pitch to scramble up. From our vantage point stood Ventana Double Cone. While it wasn’t very far away, reaching it from where we stood looked unimaginably difficult.

Further southeast were Ventana Cone, Junipero Serra Peak, Cone Peak and Twin Peak.

I gingerly scrambled back down to the more solid ridge, then looked back at the feature which surely gets only a few visitors per decade.

From there, we climbed about a kilometer and 500 vertical feet until we reached the summit of Kandlinder Peak.

Objective 1 of 2 was now complete, although I knew that I had to reclimb this peak later in the day if I wanted to return to camp.

Bottchers Gap, a previously popular but now closed starting point for both Kandlbinder Peak and Ventana Double Cone, was visible to the northwest. To the right of this stood Mt Carmel.

To the northeast stood Uncle Sam Mountain, a summit which my wife and I stood on a year prior while she was seven months pregnant.

Down below us to the east ran The Drain. Above that was Ventana Double Cone’s twin summit. Beyond that stood a line of peaks which included Ventana Cone and Junipero Serra Peak.

To the southeast ran the Coast Ridge. In the distance were Cone Peak and Twin Peak.

Cabezo Prieto, Post Summit and Pico Blanco completed the pirouette to the west.

I was already pretty tired. Something about off trail hiking really saps the energy from you. However I was now only an air mile from the summit of Ventana Double Cone. Several more hours of discomfort would be better than returning for VDC on a separate multiday backpacking trip, even if that required me to drop down into The Drain twice. So we began our steep descent into no man’s land.

Mike claimed that we would have easy boot skiing almost the whole way down into The Drain, however I did not find this to be the case. I contended with a lot of brush and loose rocky sections on my descent. Of the 2,000 ft elevation that we were forced to lose, I would say about 200 feet of that was nice boot skiing. Towards the bottom we had to take much care so as to not kick rocks down onto each other’s heads. The grade relented as we neared the bottom and our route turned into a dry wash. Colin claimed he saw a car further down The Drain, however no one had the energy to go and take a closer look. We speculated as to how a car could even be deposited in such a location. We eventually reached a junction with another dry wash. This would be the lowest point of our entire day. I waited here for the others while I wondered where the water that I so desperately needed was hiding.

Mike arrived a few minutes later to reassure me that water was accessible up ahead. Again, I needed to see it for myself to be completely reassured. We turned left up the wash as a group. After not so long, we came across fresh spring water, which proved Mike right yet again.

The water was delicious. We still had a considerable amount of gain remaining, and I noticed that it was getting late in the day compared to where I hoped to be. I turned up the pace a notch and marched up The Drain.

I looked back and noticed that Colin and Kathy were faltering. Colin caught up to me and told me that he was probably done, and planned to climb back up Kandlbinder Peak while he had some energy. Kathy voiced a similar plan, stating that her main goal was to see the center of Ventana Wilderness, and that she did.

We all stopped for a final rest at Little Ventana Falls before saying our final goodbyes.

Now it was just me, Daryn and Mike. I knew that suffering was in store, but I was committed to at least reach the summit, and hopefully make it back to camp that night. To the right of the waterfall was a 5.4 route which Mike carelessly free soloed on a previous outing. To the left was a class 4 variation. I was somewhat skeptical of the rating, but after doing the move I think the rating is appropriate. There are itty bitty holds and a lot of exposure as you shuffle across a barren rock face. We all made it across without incident and deposited ourselves above the falls.

Water would go back underground shortly after. The route from here was simple; just scramble upwards until you reach the summit. The next section was mostly class 2-3, but it was steep and tiresome.

Remains from the old summit fire lookout were strewn throughout the drainage. While the forest service went into Sykes Hot Springs and destroyed the hot tubs, all while blaming it on wild fires, for wilderness preservation purposes, I don’t expect them to ever pick up this garbage.

As we climbed higher, the notch a.k.a. La Ventana, became clearly visible.

Scrambling ensued as we climbed higher and higher. Now things were starting to get very interesting.

If the route had better rock quality, I would rate it class 3. However the crumbly rock underneath slippery sand motivates me to call it class 4. Perhaps we can settle on the rating of class 3+.

I focused as hard I could to not kick a rock on top of Daryn and Mike’s heads. Helmets are definitely necessary if attempting this route with a group.

The sketchy scrambling eventually led to some loose dirt. I crawled up the last section of the drain until I reached the ridgeline and the old summit trail. I could smell it now.

A few minutes later we reached the summit. Holy cow!

I was too tired to do anything at first so I just sat down and consumed my nourishment. With a strong pace, I estimated that we could still make it down with some daylight to spare.

To the east were South Ventana Cone, Ventana Cone, Pinyon Peak, Junipero Serra Peak and Black Cone from left to right.

To the south ran the grand Pacific Coastline.

To the west stood Kandlbinder Peak, Pico Blanco and La Ventana.

To the northwest stood Mt Carmel.

To the north stood Uncle Sam Mountain and Elephant Mountain.

And with that I completed the Ventana 15, and obscure list that I had been working on over the last several years.

https://www.ventanawild.org/news/fe99/peaks.html

This was my first “real” list finish, so this hike will always be remembered dearly. The wise man choses an easy peak to finish any particular list, however I decided to chose a damn hard one. So what does that say about me? The north summit looked comparable in height so we decided to pay it a visit after I had somewhat recovered. A weather instrument remained along the ridgeline, most likely serviced by helicopter.

There was some light bushwhacking to reach the south summit, but in doing so I set aside any doubts that I hadn’t reached the highest point.

While we had reached the summit, we were clearly not out of the woods yet. The main thing that caught my attention was the chute of terror. We took turns descending the chute so as not to kill each other. Going one by one added a lot of time, but was definitely necessary. Each of us kicked down several large rocks as we went, even though we were all trying to be very careful.

Once past the crux, I was able to relax a bit, but I could do nothing to forget about the elevation gain needed to reclimb Kandlbinder Peak.

-More Fire LO Junk

Descending back to the waterfall was tedious, but at least there was nothing life threatening during that section. The harrowing part remained when we had to downclimb the class 4 waterfall section.

The exposure was more apparent on the way down, and the holds were a little less obvious. I grabbed onto a crack and awkwardly set myself down onto safer ground. Daryn had a little more trouble than Mike and me, so we guided his feet until he joined us at the end of the pitch. I was relieved to be done with the technical portion of the hike. I filled up water one last time before it disappeared back into the ground, then we hiked down to the confluence of the two washes. Now the fun part would begin; a two thousand foot climb out of The Drain back to the summit of Kandlbinder Peak.

-Pinacate Beetle

As we climbed up the wash, I started to flirt with the idea of climbing to the window. I had already finished the Ventana 15, and the only thing holding me back from becoming a true Ventanaphile was to visit the namesake for the entire area. I floated the idea to Mike and Daryn, suggesting that it would not add much elevation or distance to include this slight detour, and they readily agreed. Rather than retracing our steps, we hung a little bit more to the right and aimed for the fabled notch.

I was getting very tired, but I had no choice but to continue. Mike and Daryn's sanguine attitude help me stay mentally strong. I had enough water and food, so it was just a matter of suffering for a little longer. The rock was loose in places, and there was still brush to contend with.

Through sheer grit and determination, we all made it to La Ventana where we found a shrine, a fire pit and several small treasures.

My favorite thing was the Wimp List, which was a binder full of people who set out for La Ventana but turned around. We considered adding Colin to the list, but decided not to in the end since he didn’t set out for La Ventana in the first place.

Instead we were all happy to sign the Window Walker List.

The views out of both sides of the window were limited.

There was plenty of fascinating literature inside the summit register box.

OPENING UP THE WINDOW

“Walking along the northern rim of the little Sur basin, one is aware of an unusual and mysterious feature on its opposite side, a gap in the ridge near the Double Ventana Cone through which, like through a window, one can see the distant mountain ranges. Its strange beauty, its remoteness and ruggedness, has that ingredient which lures and inspires men to heroic deeds. It must have held the same fascination even for the early explorers, for the Spanish christened three peaks and three creeks by its name. More recently two items were added to the list: A Sierra Club Chapter and a chapter’s journal, the one in your hand. We are, of course, speaking of the Ventana or the Window.

Like so many mysterious things, the window was an object of many legends. One of them said that it once was a silver mine. We know of at least one contemporary who, intrigued by the prospect of riches, went there to see if it was true. He found no silver but once back determined to find a silver mine elsewhere, which he did by judiciously investing in Union Ice.

Nature jealously guarded the approaches to the Window with brush, rock, and the absence of water, and only a few adventurers broke their way through to set foot in it.

Then about four years ago an idea came to the minds (obviously deranged) of two men to conquer and to tame the beasty feature. As so often happens, one of the men took the idea seriously and began a systematic exploration of the area. Not discouraged by two years of failures, he one day assembled a party of men, women and youngsters, a rugged set, and finally broke through the brush and storm to reach the gap. Finding there standing room only, they somehow survived a rain-lashed night and descended the next day, leaving behind a flagged route. This opened a lively navigation and more adventurers came from all sides, hacking and clawing their way up. Gradually, through persistent efforts of one man possessed with the idea of making the Window as popular as Plymouth Rock, the place was transformed into a cozy and likeable little spot. The crowning achievement came with the installation of a stove, carried there on the shoulders of still the same man; this made the place an official camp.

To commemorate this event, a be-in was proclaimed for Saturday, May 25, 1968. All invited were to converge at the Window, using ten known routes up (see map). At about noon that day, the stillness and serenity of the mountain was broken by echoes of yodels and shouts from all sides and a few hours later the place was packed full with prominent names of the mountain world. Again it was standing room only, but this fact made no dent in the jolly mood of the conquerors.

The remoteness of the place would never let one expect there more than the barest of necessitates, yet, like in the fairy tale, exquisite hors de ‘oeuvres were served on trays and a vessel with appropriate chaser passed around. Still skeptical of this show, someone wistfully said that he longed for a cold beer. Instantly a bucket appeared full of ice and bristling with shiny beer cans.

At this time, dazed and visibly shaken to tears by the spectacle, the man responsible for the whole occasion, Mr. Ward Allison, delivered a harangue, one of the best in his whole career. He revealed himself to be not only a leader but a poet as well, a combination found nowadays, only in presidential aspirants. For his deeds, he was awarded a medal and a laurel crown and a round of spirited cheers.

To top it all, as the day drew closer to evening and people began to cast anxious glances at the single tiny stove which was to provide a place for the cooking of 32 individual meals, a full course dinner of ham, yams, green peas and green salad was served. When on top of that a strawberry shortcake with fresh cream and fresh strawberries and bearing the initials of Ward Allison was carried in, the crowd broke into wild cheering and spontaneous singing.

We suppose that this time everyone who missed the news accounts of the event is wondering how all the food and ice, weighing over 150 pounds, ever got there. It’s simple. It came via the eleventh route (not shown on map), straight from the air. The U.S. Navy came to the rescue and dropped the goodies from a helicopter. A one-man ground support, after scraping the stuff off the brush and rock, kept it cool and out of sight until the proper moment arrived. Luckily, of all the contents, only four beer cans were damaged and had to be consumed on the spot to avoid waste.”

–Marcel Sedletzky, President, Lost Padres Hiking Club

Hikers Open ‘Ventana’ Trails

“Thirty-two Monterey Peninsula hikers and a dog climbed into Los Padres National Forest’s most inaccessible cranny, “The Window,” last weekend to celebrate the climax of several years’ trail-blazing work.

Food including an oversized canned ham, was dropped a day earlier from a helicopter piloted by Cmdr. George T. Gregory of the Naval Air Facility in Monterey, assisted by ADR3c Kenneth Jackson in a practice rescue operation. the food had been purchased by Los Padres Hiking Club, sponsor of the event.

“Ventana” is window in Spanish, so the notch on the divide between the Little Sur and Big Sur rivers has special meaning for Ventana chapter of the Sierra Club. The 32 Sierra Clubbers, ranging in age from 12 to 70, included nine members of the Los Padres Hiking Club. During the evening’s festivities, they paid tribute to Ward Allison, who has led many groups up to The Window in recent years, and helped induct into office the new club president, Marcel Sedletzky, who has worked to develop the four routes by which The Window can now be reached.

One party of size came in by way of Pico Blanco Boy Scout Camp, hiking along the Little Sur River until they turned off up Jackson Creek. A second party came from Bouchers Gap, Skinner Ridge and Pat Springs, and a third started from White Rock above Carmel Valley. A fourth group left from Big Sur State Park, climbed to the head of Ventana Creek, and there divided; some made the ascent of the Double Cone, while others climbed directly to The Window.

–Monterey, California Peninsula Herald (May 31, 1968).

The area is not very big, so it was fascinating to learn that so many people had been up there at one time. We blew some vuvuzelas and sorted through all the junk before going over our exit plan. Mike’s memory again proved to be invaluable as he suggested we follow a route through the brush, sidehilling along the northwest side of the ridgeline. I was of course sick of the bushwhacking at this point, but I knew not much remained. I gasped for breath above the foliage and saw Kandlbinder Peak not so far away with two figures on top. Kathy and Colin had waited for quite some time on the summit and gave us some cheers of encouragement.

Just when I thought the bushwhacking was over, more brush appeared. My mood started to improve once I started recognizing sections of ridge from earlier that morning. Kathy and Colin were gone by the time we reached the summit. I decided to log the summit of Kandlbinder Peak twice. When questioned by Mike, I affirmed that coming back up the peak from the drain was every bit as difficult as hiking up from Toffey Camp. I no doubt climbed the mountain twice that day. I took in the views again, this time with different lighting, before beginning my descent back down the hill.

-Big Sur Drainage

-Little Sur Drainage

-Uncle Sam Mountain

-Mulberger Dome

My goal was to make it back down to camp before dark. My legs had been complaining for the last several hours, but at least the temperature was nice and cool by this point. I had a few bars of service here so I made a quick Facetime to Asaka and Leif.

We closed the distance between Colin and Kathy, but we never caught them.

My goal shifted from getting back with daylight to getting back without having to use the headlamp. As we closed in on our destination, Mike told me about his experience with one of the Dark Watchers. On one of his previous outings, he noticed a lone headlamp as he approached Toffey Camp in the dark. He called out to the figure, but it vanished shortly after, leaving Mike to his lonesome in the spooky wilderness.

We reached camp without needing the headlamp. I had enough water in my reservoir at camp to save me a trip down to the creek. It took us over 12 hours to go less than two miles each way as the crow flies. I was beat.

The next morning we woke with less urgency, but I was still eager to get back to my car. I was really dreading the hike back up Cabezo Prieto, or any uphill for that matter. The heavy pack was dreadful, but if all went well, I would be back home in time for dinner.

The worst of the bushwhacking took place near the low point of the saddle. We managed to stay on track more or less, but it was still physically challenging.

Finally the big climb up Cabezo Prieto began. I was very slow, but speed didn’t matter anymore. We took a long break underneath a shady oak where I sipped on water and munched on miner’s lettuce. This stuff was more lush and tastier than the Sierra Nevada variety.

Once we reached Cabezo Prieto, Mike and Colin decided to head down to Pfeiffer Big Sur State Park. I agreed to pick them up later, since Kathy, Daryn and I were content to return the way we came. I enjoyed the many wildflowers along the way.

From Post Summit, I took one last look at Kandlbinder Peak. I will most likely never return.

While there was more uphill sections than I wanted, I really enjoyed the last few miles out to the car. Pico Blanco put on a show.

I was overcome with relief once I began to hear the cars on Highway 1.

I carefully crossed the road and wasted little time to take off my shoes and change my clothes. I bade Daryn and Kathy a brief farewell since I wanted to get out of there. I enjoyed the drive down south to pick up Colin and Mike. I ended up getting a mild case of poison oak later on that week, but at least I wasn’t bit by a tick. While I found the trip extremely strenuous, I was glad that I got to experience such a tremendous hike that only few will appreciate. A great group definitely made the trip much more enjoyable. With the pain of the trip still fresh in my memory, I’m already planning new Ventana Wilderness adventures in the near future.

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dusty-cookie · 7 years

Text

Through The Valley - Chapter 17

AO3 Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10075958/chapters/28939707

Tags: @luke-vaughn @embracetheapocalypsewithme @kinkozan @lupienne @theblack-wolf @lovingzombiechaos @jmackie1983 @dragonracer @miiraal

Pairing: Negan X OFC

Chapter Summary: Walking through the Valley

A big thanks to @originalwinchestervamp for having a look at this chapter and giving me feedback!

Chapter Warnings: Angst, Mention of rape

Word Count: 4880

Just one more.

The phrase seemed to be some kind of mantra these days.

Just one more sip.

Just one more bite.

Just one more step.

Lilly had felt like a helpless little baby ever since she got back to Sanctuary. First, people had insisted on her hydrating enough. When she had managed to drink a little water from a straw, they had turned to her eating. When she had been able to eat a whole plate of mushy potatoes and peas, they had thrown her out of bed and forced her to walk up and down the hallway, holding on to either Jax or Seth for support, with Laura cheering her on.

Fisher had made it clear that breathing and walking exercises were important for her recovery. Apparently, broken ribs could otherwise lead to pneumonia, which in turn was of course a worst-case scenario during the apocalypse.

So she walked. And ate. And drank disgusting herbal tea. When all she wanted was to crawl into bed, lick her not-so-proverbial wounds and preferably stay there until the next winter was over. But Jax had made it clear that this was not an option and the rest of her friends had been quick to agree with him. Sadistic assholes, the whole lot of them.

There were some upsides in the long weeks during which she tried to get back on her feet. One was her room on the lieutenant’s floor, which had been left untouched during her time at the outpost for some reason. It was a blessing that she still had a place of her own, even if it meant that she had to slowly and painfully climb all the steps up to the fifth floor whenever she dared to leave the Tower. Jax, ever the optimist, had remarked that the stairs were a great additional exercise. Lilly had nearly clocked him in the face with her thermos full of tea.

The other reason she hadn’t resorted to hiding in her room and never come out again, was that Negan had been blissfully, if not suspiciously, absent during her recovery. Carson and the lieutenants were running the Sanctuary in absentia, only asking him for his opinion or advice for very important decisions and otherwise leaving him to do what Lilly had wanted to do all along, which was hide in his room.

Rumor had it that he was going through at least three bottles of liquor a week.

Lilly didn’t care.

At least that was what she told herself over and over again. And it’s what she told all the others that came to her with some variation of “Did you hear that Negan…”.

“I don’t care,” she said and first limped and then, after a couple of weeks, walked away.

Another mantra, adding to the first one. Somehow, the two phrases became connected more and more, as Lilly told herself “Just one more day.” over and over again, trying to delay the inevitable conversation she would have to have with Negan eventually.

Telling herself “I don’t care.” over and over again whenever she felt a pang of concern as she got better and he got worse if Dwight’s consistent complaining could be believed.

Her idontcares nearly stopped when people started flocking to her for advice and guidance as soon as her external injuries had become unnoticeable. She was home. She was healthy. She was a lieutenant, as far as the Saviors were concerned.

Lilly didn’t mind helping to resolve points quarrels and help with schedules. But one day, Andrei sat down next to her on the rec room couch with a piece of paper and a grim face and Lilly knew that the day had come that she had to stop her mantras and climb up to the lion’s den.

“That looks awfully short.” She held out a hand to Andrei and skimmed through the latest list of supplies the Hilltop had offered as tribute.

“It’s been that way for the last three months. They say they don’t have any more to give, but Rob is sure they’re hoarding for winter.”

“If it’s been light before, surely you’ve already talked to Negan about it?”

“More or less. Carson’s said that he wants the western outpost to deal with it on their own.”

“Well, then let them do it. I mean, it’s not like Rob and the others at the western outpost are going to kill someone because of a light tribute, right?”

Andrei grimaced. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that. The Hilltop’s runners have become cocky and Rob really fucking hates Gregory.”

“Can’t blame him,” Lilly mumbled while looking over the list again.

“Can you talk to Negan? Ask him again what to do? I gotta drop this shit off at the other outposts and I won’t be back for about two weeks, but when I get back here, I really need a decision.”

Lilly sighed. There really was no use in delaying this any further. “Yeah, I’ll talk to him. In the meantime, tell Rob that the order still stands. Tell them to deal with it. And remind them all that our leader is a sucker for rules.”

“Okay. Thanks Lil. Oh and please remind Jax that we need to meet at the western outpost soon. Now that you’re back to full strength, we really gotta repair those panels before the first snow hits.”

“Mmh-hmm.” She nodded absent-mindedly while Andrei got up to leave. Barely registering his goodbyes, she kept staring into the distance and thought about the task at hand, before she stood and walked out of the cafeteria.

Standing at the base of the concrete steps that led all the way up to the Penthouse, Lilly felt the Tower looming over her like something out of a Tolkien story. She hoped that she would manage to even make it all the way up. Despite being almost fully recovered, she still got out of breath very easily. Her reluctance to face whatever was waiting for her at the top of these stairs didn’t exactly help her to regain her lost stamina.

But it was no use to fret over still-tender ribs, nor over her current relationship with the inhabitant of the Penthouse. There were things they had to deal with and so she took the first step and then another and another. Just one more floor. And then another. Just one more staircase. Her ribs hurt. “I don’t care.” Would he become angry at the sight of her? Would she? “I don’t care.” What if he was too drunk to talk? “I don’t care.” Just one more step.

A deep breath, a knock, a grunt and Lilly was inside the lion’s den. It almost smelled like one, too. She wrinkled her nose and tried to adjust to the twilight created by drawn curtains and a cold fireplace. Her first instinct was to open the windows, start a fire and then run to the huddled figure sitting at the coffee table filled with empty bottles and dirty plates, hug him and tell him that everything would be alright.

I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care.

She carefully crossed the room and opened one curtain to let in at least a little bit of the last light of the ending day and positioned herself behind the second, unoccupied armchair, preferring to stand so as not to accidentally sit on something gross.

The figure squinted and almost looked like it was about to hiss dramatically from the sudden onslaught to their retinas. The scene would have been funny if Lilly hadn’t been acutely aware of one of her mantras crumbling to pieces at the sight of her leader in this concerning state.

Obviously, she did care after all. He looked awful. He had lost weight and yet still looked bloated, at least from what she could see underneath the scraggly beard. His hair, which was usually slicked back, black and shiny, desperately needed a wash and a trim. He obviously didn’t bother with putting on pants anymore, but beat the cold with a ragged and dirty old blanket and copious amounts of alcohol, judging from the empty bottles littering the table and the almost empty one in his hand.

“Oh Negan…”

He took a long, hard look at her before his face finally lit up in recognition. “Oh hey! Look who found her fucking way to my humble abode. Come here, sit down! How you been, babe? How are you?”

Lilly slowly crept around the armchair and sat down on the armrest. His airy, cheerful manner worried her. “I’m okay. Andrei sent me, actually. He wants to know how to proceed with the Hilltop and-”

“Whoah whoah whoah! Hold the fuck on Lil! We haven’t seen each other in… actually I have no fucking clue how long it’s been. Anyway… let’s talk business later and something fun first, instead, huh? Some catching up?” His speech was slurred and he had obvious troubles focusing. Lilly warily watched his hand, gesturing wildly while holding on to the bottle. A shadow of anger had placed itself over her heart, where concern had been before.

He didn’t even know how long he had spent up here, moping and apparently drinking himself half to death, while his people struggled to prepare the compound for winter, including dealing with mutinous communities.

“I’m not here for fun, Negan.”

“Then why the fuck are you here, Lil?” Lilly hadn’t even noticed when his demeanor had changed. He suddenly seemed more steady in every possible way. “Why did you personally climb all the fucking way up here with still fucked-up ribs? Don’t deny it… I could hear you wheezing all the way from the last two floors. Why did you come to discuss Rob’s and Andrei’s fucking incompetence, when you could have just sent Carson to deal with it?”

Her jaw hung open for a moment. She felt so stupid. How could she underestimate him like that? Of course his brooding didn’t mean that he didn’t know what was going on at the Sanctuary anymore. He might not show his face, but he still held all the strings, including the one to her heart. He could see right through her.

“You’re right. I wanted to check on you. See how you are.” He gave her a hopeful smile. “And I wanted to ask when you want me gone?” His face fell again. She almost felt bad. But she needed to know where they stood.

“Gone? What the fuck do you mean, gone?”

“Well, I’m pretty much recovered. Just a bit sore, still, but almost good as new. So I wanted to discuss my departure with you. When do you want me back at the outpost?”

“You have got to be fucking shitting me, Lilly. The fucking outpost? You’re not going anywhere. If I knew you wouldn’t fucking castrate me, I’d never let you set one fucking toe beyond the fence ever again.”

“So what? I’m your prisoner now?” She couldn’t suppress the temper flaring up inside of her.

“No! Shit.” Negan pinched his nose and clenched his eyes shut for a moment. “Look, you can go wherever you want, of course. What I was trying to say was, I want you to stay here. This is your home-”

“Oh, that’s funny. Because I distinctly remember telling you exactly that while pleading for you not to send me away…”

“And I’m fucking sorry, okay? I told you before, Lil. I’m fucking sorry. Apologize is all I can fucking do right now until you let me prove to you that I won’t fuck up like that again. I mean, at least in that department. I can’t possibly promise you that I’ll never make any mistakes ever again. You know my insensitive ass…”

That almost made her chuckle, but her body decided to turn it into a sob at the last moment and she had to fight hard against the tears. She really wasn’t much of a crier usually, but the past months had reduced her to a tender ball of emotions. Negan leaned forward, but didn’t quite dare to touch her yet, offering her his bottle instead.

“Here, have a sip.”

“No, thank you.”

“Suit yourself,” he said, shrugged and put the bottle to his lips.

Lilly was on her knees in front of him so fast that her ribs screamed in protest. That didn’t keep her from snatching the whiskey out of his hands. His mouth still open, he frowned at her for a moment. Lilly was quick to start talking before he could protest.

“Enough, Negan. They need you back down there. And I need you, too. If I stay here, I can’t do this on my own. You know I’m not a leader. But you are. And a damn good one, when you’re not busy exiling your lieutenants, or getting drunk off your ass.” She offered him a tentative smile, but it seemed like there was only one thing that got through to him.

“You… you need me?”

She took his hands and nodded, not caring about giving so much of herself this time, nor about the tears that now spilled freely from her eyes. She didn’t know how she ended up in his lap, or when he had started crying into the crook of her neck. She certainly hadn’t planned for this when she had finally decided to face him earlier.

She didn’t know how she had managed to maneuver them both into his bed, either, but here she was, holding him still, with fear and doubts and love in her heart. She told herself that she would stay just one more minute, to make sure he’d be asleep and alright. But his bed was big and soft and warm and so was he as he held her tight and his heartbeat and his steady breath in her hair lulled her into a deep and long sleep.

Waking up was a slow process. The light spilling in from the one uncurtained window told Lilly that it was morning, but her body and mind refused to accept that. She even noticed that she was alone in bed, but it was too comfortable and she was too sleepy to worry about it. The sounds coming from Negan’s bathroom told her that he would be back soon, anyway. He had even lit the fireplace and she couldn’t help but take advantage of the warmth and size of the bed and stretch out luxuriously.

After a couple of minutes and with Lilly now fully awake, the rummaging in the bathroom stopped and the door opened. She closed her eyes and pretended to still be asleep. To be honest, now that her mind functioned properly, she felt quite nervous about being in Negan’s bed, especially after what had happened in the previous weeks and of course after last night’s confessions.

Lilly’s heart threatened to burst from her chest by the time she felt him climbing back into bed beside her. A small part of her feared that he might throw her out now that he had slept and sobered up. A much bigger part of her was surprised that the thought bothered her so much. It was probably time to finally be honest with herself, she thought as he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close to him.

She turned slightly to bury her nose in his chest and the space around her filled with the smell of soap and peppermint toothpaste. As he sighed contentedly, she snuck a hand up and over his shoulders to his face.

“Did you shave?” Lilly leaned back and regarded him with a slight frown.

“Yeah.” Negan gave her a half grin and rubbed his now smooth chin. “Felt like a fucking hobo when I looked in the mirror this morning.”

“I kinda liked it. Gave you a rugged, sexy lumberjack appearance.”

“Aww, man… Why didn’t you say something?”

“What was I supposed to say?” she laughed.

“How about ‘Hey Negan, that beard is sexy as fuck and makes me want to touch myself, don’t shave it off!’”

Lilly was overwhelmed by a fit of giggles and so it took her a moment before she realized that he was stroking her hip with his thumb and looking at her in a way she couldn’t quite place. What she did realize immediately, though, was when he leaned in while simultaneously closing his eyes and she put her hand on his chest to keep him from kissing her.

“I can’t. Not yet,” she whispered, “I’m sorry, Negan, I really am. I just… I want to, I really do, but…” As much as it hurt her to reject him, she had just a couple of minutes ago decided to finally be honest with herself. She wanted to be whole. For herself and for him, too. And right now she wasn’t. Not by a long shot. The physical healing process might have been over, but the emotional wounds from her attack were far from gone.

“Hey, it’s okay. I understand.” He pulled her towards him again and whispered into her hair, softly stroking her back. “You never told me what exactly happened at the outpost. Those two fuckers… did they…”

“No.” She clutched his white t-shirt and focused on the wrinkles it created only inches from her face. “They didn’t get that far.”

“Andrei said you put up quite a fight.”

“I guess. Wasn’t much I could do besides kicking and screaming.”

“I’m so fucking sorry, Lilly. Jax told me that you were having a hard time-”

“Don’t! Please… just… You already apologized last night. And it’s okay. I mean, it’s not okay, not entirely. I’m still angry. Or I guess I still am. Ugh…!” Lilly groaned in frustration, let go of Negan and sat up. “That’s the reason I can’t do this…” She gestured between herself and Negan, who had laid back on his back, his arms behind his head. “At least not right now. There’s still so much I have to figure out.”

He brought one arm back down and stroked her back. “Don’t you fucking worry about that right now. I mean, we’ve waited this long, right? Couple of days more or less won’t make my fucking balls explode.” She looked at him over her shoulder and he winked at her, causing her to chuckle again. “I mean, shit… I’m just fucking happy we’re talking again. I even got you into my fucking bed somehow. Even if we didn’t break it in yet.”

“I just want things to get back to normal first. Do you think we can do that?”

“Yeah, sure. Well, at least as fucking normal as things can get with humanity being almost entirely replaced by flesh-eating fucking undead fuckers.”

“Huh, yeah. It’s weird how I keep forgetting about that with all the drama going on. Thank you, by the way. For not giving my room away.”

“You’re welcome. Listen, I don’t even know why I did all this shit. I guess there was this small voice inside my head that told me that you got too close. But that voice has been dealt with. Though do me a fucking favor and stay the fuck away from Sherry now that you’re back here, alright?”

“Trust me, I have no desire whatsoever to interact with her in any way.” She frowned slightly. It wasn’t the first time that she was wondering why Sherry was still around. After all, Negan knew that she had tried to get rid of Lilly. It was as if he could read her mind.

“Look, I know what she did was fucked up. And if I could, I’d get rid of her like that.” He snapped his fingers. “But you know how much of an emotional hard-on Dwight still has for that bitch and as much as I hate the ugly fucker, he’s a good lieutenant, and there are a lot of people at Sanctuary who like and follow him. People hate me enough for what I did to you, I can’t fucking upset Dwight, too. At least not right now. He and Sherry might just have a fucking accident some time in the distant future.”

Negan looked into the distance, smiling darkly to himself.

“Stop it. I don’t like it when you’re all bloodthirsty.” But it seemed like Negan was barely paying attention to her.

“You’d be bloodthirsty, too, if some asshole hurt the person you love. Good thing you’re back to keep me and Lucille in check.” He grinned at her. Lilly gaped at him. Did she hear him right just now?

But before she could ask him about the L-bomb he had just dropped, Negan got up and walked to his drawer to put on a pair of jeans.

“Well, as much as I enjoy this fucking cuddling session… I really gotta clean up this shithole and then get my sexy ass downstairs. Gotta show those fuckers that daddy’s back. Unless you changed your mind and decided that my dick might help you overcome your fucking trauma after all?” He wiggled his eyebrows at her, which caused her to chuckle again.

“Overcoming trauma first, dick later. Deal?”

“Fair enough. Do me a fucking favor and find Carson. Tell him to schedule a meeting. I wanna make a round of the outposts as soon as Jax has repaired those panels.”

“Yes, Sir!” Lilly mock-saluted and made her way to the door while Negan mumbled something about “A fucking tease” behind her.

“Oh hey…” She turned around again. “I just remembered. You told me you used to be a gym teacher, right?”

“Yeah, so?”

“Well, I was thinking… I really need to get back into shape. Maybe you could coach me? Show me what to do to get my strength and stamina back?”

He stared at her with a raised eyebrow for a moment before chuckling. “You tell me we ain’t gonna fuck any time soon and now you want me to give you private lessons that involves our sweaty bodies touching each other on a regular fucking basis? What is it with you and your fucking compulsion to giving me blue balls, babe?”

“Oh shit. Yeah. Probably not a good idea. Do you think I can ask Seth? He works out a lot, right?”

“What? Fuck that! I didn’t say no. Especially since I need the fucking workout myself. Have let myself go long enough and I feel fucking disgusting. I just wanna warn you so you don’t freak out when I run around with a fucking chubby twenty-four-seven. Which I would probably do anyway from now on, even without us wrestling on a gym mat.” He grinned at her and she blushed. “Anyway, we’ll meet in the gym every morning, 9 am sharp. Talk to Fisher today and ask him what you can and can’t do. Don’t want you to break anything while doing squats. Don’t overeat at breakfast, wear something comfortable and no fucking whining!”

“Holy crap, you really are a gym teacher.”

“You fucking know it, baby. Now go find Carson.”

“Yes, Coach Negan.”

When he came down the stairs to the cafeteria later for their meeting, the difference to last night was staggering. His leather jacket hid the weight loss, he had received a haircut and none of his demeanor betrayed the state he had been in only twenty-four hours earlier. He was all grins and swagger and confidence with Lucille on his shoulder and a wink in Lilly’s direction before he sat down at the head of the table and addressed his lieutenants.

Lilly’s feelings had changed, too. She was still weary and she knew that it would take some time to feel fully comfortable around him again. But their night together had convinced her that he really was sorry. Something Jax agreed on when they sat together in his room after Lilly had been dismissed from the meeting.

“Told you he loves you,” Jax said with a smug grin. They had made themselves comfortable on his bed.

“Who would have thought…,” Lilly mumbled absentmindedly into her tea cup. “I still don’t know if I can do this.”

“Why not, Lil? You’ve been through so much shit lately. You deserve a bit of happiness.”

“And you think I could find that with Negan?”

“Yeah. Eventually. You’re not some naive little girl that just runs into something like this without thinking. If someone’s able to rein him in a bit and call him out on his bullshit, it’s you. And he’s showed you that he cares about you. Backpedaled on his decision of exiling you. Got rid of the wives. Sat with you all through that first night. And when you told him that you need some space he kept his distance, right?”

“Yeah, he did. Though it was not so much me asking him to keep his distance, but me telling him to fuck off.”

“Well, you always had a way with words.”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For always having my back, no matter what. For helping me get back back on my feet. For ripping Negan a new asshole for what he did. Connor told me. Where is he, anyway?”

“Keeping up his self-imposed mask of masculinity at poker night. And you’re welcome. You and me until the end, right?”

“Right.” She smiled at him. “Andrei wanted me to remind you of the panels at the western outpost.”

“Yeah, probably some of the wiring that came off. Shouldn’t be too complicated. Did he say when he wants to go there?”

“He’s busy the next couple of weeks I think. But he said he wants to do it before winter.”

“I can just go there on my own. Or I could take Gavin.”

“No, wait until Andrei has the time to go with you. I don’t want you out there on your own. But do take Gavin when the time comes. Kid needs some fresh air. Keep an eye on him, though. You know how much he likes provoking people and Rob is apparently even more of an asshole than usual, what with the Hilltop falling behind on tributes. And wear your fucking helmet when you go there. I can’t believe I still have to remind you of this shit.”

“Yes, ma’am! Jeez, look who finally bounced back!”

“I realized in the last couple of days that ordering people around helps distract me. Makes me feel better somehow.”

“It’s only natural. Those assholes bound you, hurt you and tried to… you know…”

“Rape me. Let’s just say it like it is.”

“Okay. My point is, they made you feel powerless. And now you’re finally gaining some of that power back, by being a lieutenant again, telling people what to do.”

“Maybe. Just please do me a favor and tell me if I’m overdoing it, okay? I don’t want any more people to start to hate me.”

“Will do.”

Negan and Lilly fell back into a routine that they had almost forgotten. It was awkward at first, but with time and practice, things went back to how they used to be. The joking, flirting and touching even increased without any of them noticing. With Lilly healing by talking to Jax, Laura and even Negan about what had happened, the darkness in her heart vanished, to be replaced by contentedness. Soon enough, she felt the familiar butterflies again anytime she so much as thought about her leader. The times with him in the gym didn’t exactly help with that.

“Aaaaand twenty. Come on down.”

Lilly groaned and relaxed her arm muscles after her last pull-up, only to hang from the bar like a wet potato sack. She didn’t want to jump down. It still hurt her ribs.

“A little help here?”

Negan showed up in her periphery and stood in front of her, grinning up. “What was that?”

“Come on, you know I’m not supposed to jump. Please, Negan!” she whined through clenched teeth.

Negan chuckled and wrapped his arms around her waist. When he had secured her, she let go of the bar and put her hands on his biceps. After a couple of weeks of them working out together, he was now even more muscular than before. Negan let her slowly slide down his body until her eyes were level with his. Leaning his forehead on hers, he licked his lips. She could feel his breath on her face and by the time her feet hit the ground, they were both panting.

“So, uh… how are things coming along on the trauma front?” His voice was low as one hand came to rest on Lilly’s cheek.

“Good,” she whispered and then cleared her throat, taking a step back. “I really appreciate this, you know? Giving me time. And helping me getting my strength back.”

“Anytime babe. Just waiting for you to give me a signal. Tell me when those ribs don’t hurt anymore from any kind of impact, alright?”

The look he gave her held a world full of promises. He turned and left Lilly standing alone in the gym, feeling her whole body flush from longing and excitement. She'd had enough. Tomorrow she'd gather all her courage and make a move on him.

Just one more night.

#negan #negan fanfiction #negan fanfic #the walking dead fanfiction #twd fanfiction #comic negan #comicnegan>#negan smut #negan x oc #negan x ofc #through the valley

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green-violin-bow · 7 years

Text

Thank you @missmuffin221!

33. “I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

“Gregory. My sincere apologies, but an emergency has arisen and I will not be able to make our dinner engagement tonight. I hope that your day has not been unduly stressful, and shall no doubt see you at home –” there’s a short hesitation, and Mycroft apparently decides against putting a timeframe estimate on the current crisis. “My apologies again.” His voice is tight, harried; the click of the message ending, and Greg obeys the instruction to save it.

He sighs and drops his mobile onto the desk, running his hands over his face and through his hair. They’ve barely seen one another this week – mostly his fault, a truly unpalatable murder that’s kept him out of the house for all but the quickest of showers and change of clothes, and a trip to Manchester for Mycroft that covered the only evening Greg actually did manage to spend at home. (Well, he arrived home just before nine, anyway.)

They had arranged via text to cook dinner together on Friday night, and Greg had been anticipating it eagerly. It was not even as though he had been expecting them to have sex – his own bone-deep exhaustion made it unlikely. But just to be able to have a glass of wine together as they cooked, watch Mycroft’s deft hands as he chopped the vegetables, wrap his arms around his boyfriend and inhale the scent of his skin, stay close as they worked and then sit at right-angles at the table to eat, legs and feet pressed together… To go to bed together, hold Mycroft close with a hand in the centre of his pale chest, and get a full night’s sleep – oh God, yes – and to wake up warm, and sleepy, and together… A distant, and apparently an impossible, dream.

Greg leans his head on his hand and surveys the paperwork in front of him with bleary eyes. Then he picks up his phone and texts:

No worries gorgeous. Hope it goes well. Good luck, and see you at home later hopefully. Keep me updated, yeah? G xxx

He doesn’t really expect an answer, given Mycroft’s tone in the answerphone message. He stretches, yawns, and goes to fetch himself a coffee. On returning, he is surprised to find a text waiting.

I love you. MH

Hmm. Greg gives a wry smile. Possibly the crisis is worse than he’d assumed. Nuclear attack on London? Full-scale international war about to break out?

Love you so much. G xxx

The dinner he eventually ‘cooks’ (spinach and ricotta ravioli from a packet that takes two minutes to boil, a bag of salad and some pesto sauce) is a sad comparison to what he and Mycroft would have made. But Greg puts together a second plate for Mycroft anyway, and places it in the fridge, just in case he manages to get home at all tonight. Morosely, he eyes the bottle of red that they would have opened, but decides not to bother. He’s so tired he can hardly think, anyway. What’s the point of drinking? He’s not going to need the help passing out tonight.

With the aid of far, far too much coffee, he’d managed to get all the paperwork from their murder case off his desk and onto the Super’s for approval before he left. As a result he feels like he can take the whole weekend off, for once. Come on Mycroft, please come home.

He makes it through the News at Ten, and manages to force himself to his feet when it’s over instead of just curling up on the sofa. Exhaustion overwhelms him as he strips off and crawls into bed. He falls asleep hugging Mycroft’s pillow.

He doesn’t wake until just after ten, and it’s obvious immediately that Mycroft has not been home. He blinks in the startlingly bright morning light, briefly buries his head in Mycroft’s pillow, then rolls onto his back with a sigh, reaching for his phone on the bedside table.

[06:52] Still at the office. Did you sleep well? MH

[09:37] I hope this means you are still asleep. I am afraid I still have no estimate for when I will be home. MH

Greg chews his bottom lip.

Yeah, fast asleep until just now! You going to pop home for a shower and change at any point? Want to be here if you are. G x

With a groan, he levers himself out of bed and pulls on pyjama trousers. He does a circuit of the bedroom, making sure he picks up all the dirty laundry, then pads into the kitchen and stuffs it all in the washing machine. Eventually he had succumbed to Mycroft sending out his shirts and suits for dry-cleaning along with his own, but there are still things he puts in the wash every week. He yawns and stretches as the wash cycle starts.

(“Mycroft, I’m not sending my boxers for dry-cleaning. They’re only from M&S. They’re machine-washable! That’s the whole point of them! Who the bloody hell gets their pants dry-cleaned, anyway?”

“If you would accede to my suggestion that you invest in some undergarments in appropriate fabrics –”

“My boxers are made of cotton, Mycroft! That’s an absolutely normal boxer fabric. Only one of us in this relationship needs fancy silk pants that probably cost the same as a week’s-worth of my wages. And, gorgeous, that’s emphatically you.”

“I should of course buy them for you, Gregory.”

“Nonsense. Anyway, I don’t know why you’re bothered, you don’t seem to mind my boxers when I’m walking around in them.”

“Just because you have an extraordinarily attractive behind, Gregory, does not mean that –”

“‘Extraordinarily attractive’, eh?”

“Gregory –”

“Why don’t you come over here and say that again?”

“Only if you take those Marks and Spencer monstrosities off first.”

“Deal.”)

The rest of the memory is extremely pleasant indeed. Greg grins to himself and reaches down a mug, moving over to the coffee machine. He’s suddenly breathless with the need to have Mycroft’s arms around him.

The day is pleasant enough, in its way. After cleaning up the kitchen and hanging out the washing, Greg has a late breakfast of poached eggs on toast and changes into his running gear. He means to do his 5k route, but it’s a nice day, and he still has no messages from Mycroft, so he pushes on to the 10k. He’s knackered by the time he gets back, and takes a long relaxing bath.

Usually Mycroft is the bath fan in their relationship, but Greg’s come round to them more now he has someone to share them with. He listens to his audiobook, playing with the bubbles, and briefly considers sending Mycroft some pictures to tempt him home…

No, unfair. The man has to work.

His phone buzzes, and Greg dries his hands before picking it up.

It seems that a brief trip to Brussels is now necessary. I hope to be able to return home after that. MH

“Brussels? Oh bloody hell,” grumbles Greg crossly. He pulls the plug out of the bath and stands up, towelling himself off none too gently. Stop being such a git. You were out of the house three nights in a row this week.

He texts Sally and Phil, asking if they fancy a pint tonight, marginally cheered when they both accept.

Any idea what time you’ll be home? G x

Pulling on jeans and a grey t-shirt, Greg listens for the buzz of his phone on the bedside table.

It is unpredictable at the moment, but I shall keep you informed. I am sorry, Gregory. MH

The corners of Greg’s mouth tug down, just a little, as he reads.

Gorgeous, it’s your job. Don’t apologise. Just dying to see you, because I miss you. Going to the pub with Sally and Phil in a bit, but will be home as soon as you are. Let me know. G xxx

They drink. They drink quite a lot, and they have a laugh, and Sally bemoans how utterly fucking in love he is, and the fact that she can’t find anyone she feels like that about, not like him and his tall posh bastard.

And he is in love. So, so, fucking in love, and he just wishes he could see him, because it hurts now, not being held by him.

Closing time comes, and then the chip van, and by the time he stumbles through the front door and collapses onto the sofa, he falls asleep squinting at the screen of his phone.

“Gregory?”

The grey morning light is brutal. Greg screws his eyes shut, and groans. Must be early. Not enough sleep. Dizzy.

“Gregory.”

“No.”

“Oh, charming. Gregory. Drink this water.”

“’M’very tired, Mycroft.”

“As am I. I am, however, less drunk.”

“Might be drunk. Might be hungover. ’M not sure yet.”

“Take the water.”

“Urgh. Ow! What’you doin’?”

“Gregory. I am not going to stop poking you until you give me your attention.”

“Don’t have any.”

“Fine. Have this water instead. I shall make us coffee.”

With an almighty groan, Greg rolls over on the sofa, cracks one eye open and takes the glass. His neck feels horrendous, but it’s nothing to the pounding, vertiginous pressure in his head. After several sips of water – which he fears may soon prove to have been a mistake – he manages to open both eyes. His voice is rough and deep. “Coffee? Don’t you need sleep? I need sleep. Let’s go and sleep.”

Mycroft looks exhausted. His eyes are darkly shadowed and his usually impeccable posture has given way enough for him to lean against the kitchen counter as the coffee machine hums.

“I am afraid I shall need to complete just a couple of matters in the study. It should take an hour or so. After that – yes, sleep would be incredibly welcome.” He passes a long-fingered hand delicately over his eyes.

Greg’s heart clenches. This man, willing to work and work past the point of endurance. How he loves him.

“Right. Okay.” Bracing himself, he stands up. “Gimme ten minutes. ’M gonna have a quick shower – prob’ly smell like a brewery – then’ll come’n drink my coffee in the study with you.” He gulps down the rest of his pint of water.

A cool shower and cleaning his teeth make him feel significantly more human, as do a couple of ibuprofen and another pint of water. When he pads into the study, he finds Mycroft, pale and exhausted-looking but focused on his laptop.

“Hi gorgeous.” Mycroft looks up, and Greg kneels down beside him, gently turning his office chair so he can get closer, between his knees. “I know you’re busy, but a hug’d be lovely.”

“Mmmm,” murmurs Mycroft as Greg’s arms close tightly around him. Mycroft relaxes, tension flowing out of him, and to Greg that feels like a reward in itself.

He buries his nose in Mycroft’s neck and breathes him in. “Missed you,” he mumbles. “Sorry it’s been such a ridiculous week.”

“I am sorry too, Gregory.” Mycroft nuzzles his cheek into Greg’s damp hair, then pulls back and leans down for a kiss.

“Thank you,” whispers Greg, as they part. “Now get on with it. Sooner you’re done, sooner we can go to bed and get some proper sleep. I’m going to sit over here and read the news on my phone. Try and work out which particular crisis you averted.”

Mycroft gives him a quick half-smile, and turns reluctantly back to his laptop.

“Get you another coffee, gorgeous?”

“Please, Gregory.”

“’Course.”

#mystrade ficlet #ficlet prompts #mystrade #my fic #this just turned into epic domestic fluff #hope that's okay #😘

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pinksfuckers · 6 years

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The Latest Trend In SEO 2019

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In the second chapter of our SEO guideline, you will learn how lookup engines work, how people utilize them and what type of research queries they submit. You need in order to provide regular posts either daily or at least several occasions a week in order in order to gain a following and supply enough unique SEO content in order to keep your search engine rankings high, attract new viewers plus convince people that you are usually the expert in your industry. Voice lookup will change the way you interact along with search engines and it will certainly make SEO even more competing and vital to online achievement. Our SEO outreach team connect your brand and curated content with key on-line influencers to get people speaking about you & sharing your own message. Yet, with the lookup engines like google continually transforming their rules SEO may appear confusing and overwhelming. Understanding what these words really indicate, and how SEO analysts make use of them to boost your cyberspace search engine results, may become a whole other story.

Without the doubt, one of the greatest trends that has already started to take place and may continue well into 2018 may be the consolidation of niche MarTech gamers by larger content cloud suppliers, with the role and significance of SEO increasing significantly all through this transformation. SEO Internet marketing provides major components, which develop the particular website traffic, and top research engine rankings. SEO is brief for Seo, and there is definitely nothing really mystical about this particular. You might have heard the lot about SEO and just how it works, but basically exactly what is a measurable, repeatable procedure which is used to deliver signals to search engines that will the pages are worth displaying in Google's index. Topic clusters possess been lauded because the future associated with SEO and content strategy, yet are widely underreported on (so now's the time to hit! ) 93% of B2B companies use content marketing. Teresa Walsh, Marketing Professional at automobile site, Cazana, forecasts that hyper organic targeting will increase its importance in 2019 with more location search plus more voice search. We get to the particular bottom of on-page SEO issues in order for search motors to clearly see what your own website is all about. SEO requires you to continuously be considered a student because of exactly how quickly the algorithms of lookup engine companies change. Google's punishing methods probably class pages as some thing akin to a poor UX if they meet certain detectable criteria e. g. lack associated with reputation or old-school SEO stuff such as keyword stuffing a site.

Head associated with Marketing at @impressiontalk specialising within user-centred SEO, PAGE RANK, content marketing and digital technique. Primary is usually on inbound marketing, including almost everything from SEO to social press. However, a good agency providing SEO services is definitely all about being proactive in order to keep up-to-date with the most recent search engine news and adjustments in SEO techniques. Video marketing provides new opportunities to drive even more visitors your site and enhance its SEO status. Research Engine Optimisation (SEO) in 2018 is really a technical, synthetic and creative process to enhance the visibility associated with the website in search motors. Off-page SEO relates to the actions taken exterior of your own personal website that can easily help boost your search powerplant rankings. Mainly because Blog9T of this insufficient visibility this can be hard to create a sound business case intended for SEO, even though it will be strikingly obvious of the advantages to most companies of the particular number one position on Search engines. This particular is a time-honored SEO exercise called broken link building. Definitely engaging in reputation management, content material management and SEO (Search Motor Optimization) can give even the particular smallest business a chance in order to compete globally. Whether you are already adding SEO into your online advertising mix or not, you may ask yourself how aCO site stacks up against acom. With recent Google adjustments, failure to look after cellular SEO could result in research invisibility, and mobile's bringing additional changes you'll need to become ready for.

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sonderfulrose · 6 years

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Seven Benefits Of SEO 2019 That May Change Your Perspective

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If you are performing a professional SEO audit for the genuine business, you are going in order to have to think like the Google Search Quality Rater And also a Google search engineer to offer real long-term value to the client. 44. Give your own social media profiles an SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION boost. 10% of our experts believe that will there's likely to be the lot of focus on cellular in 2019, as older SEOs realize optimizing for desktop is definitely pointless. White hat SEO is not really just about following guidelines, yet is about ensuring that the particular content the search engines indexes and eventually ranks could be the same content the user will see. Dave Gregory, Content Marketing Supervisor from the UK based functionality marketing agency, SiteVisibility, predicts that will 2019, and not 2018, is definitely going to be the genuine year of voice. 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Hiring experienced SEO experts will certainly ensure that your website climbs the search engine ranks with out using any illegal practices or even short cuts that could create short-term spikes in the home page's ranking, but eventually lead in order to your website having to spend penalties. Official Site Associated with BlowFish SEO - Professional Search Motor Optimization Services operated by Robert DiSalvo SEO Located in Hand Beach Gardens, Florida. The takeaway here is definitely that if you might have got LOTS of location pages providing A SINGLE business in a single location, then those are quite probably classed as some type of doorway pages, and possibly old-school SEO techniques for these types of type of pages will observe them classed as lower-quality -- or even - spammy web pages. CRAWL this, like Google does, with (for example) Screaming Frog SEO spider, plus fix malformed links or stuff that result in server errors (500), broken links (400+) and unwanted redirects (300+). SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION gives you an attempt at rank for the terms which your own customers use, so you may do better business. The job of the SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION is to create high-quality content material after which win the attention, the particular love as well as the particular link from a blogger or even editor. The keyword difficulty or even keyword SEO difficulty is the very useful metric for key word research. Search engine optimization (SEO) is one of this most important marketing things to consider upon your studio website. SEO might generate a sufficient return upon investment However, search engines are usually not purchased organic search visitors, their algorithms change, and generally there are no guarantees of carried on referrals. An excellent starting point whenever using keywords for SEO will be to identify existing pages that will may use some optimization. These are called keywords, plus as you will see, they will are an important part associated with SEO. In fact, this particular will actually hurt your cyberspace SEO because search engines such as google will recognize it since keyword stuffing - or the particular act of including keywords particularly to rank for that key phrase 10 Mind Numbing Facts About SEO 2019, rather than to answer the person's question. Prior to we get going, one thing a person want to keep in thoughts when using some of the following SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION elements is not to overdo it. You might be enticed to shove a lot associated with keywords onto your pages, yet that is not the objective. In situation you create links to various other websites and reverse, it will certainly improve your SEO ranking. Really Cisco predicts that globally, on-line video traffic will be eighty percent of all consumer Web traffic by 2019 (a quantity that is up from sixty four percent in 2014). I've bookmarked therefore many SEO websites and assets that it's overwhelming to actually look at. Link authority is the major component of SEO, yet purchasing links is forbidden simply by Google, Bing, and other lookup engines. Register and raise a new free donation for SEO London, uk every time you shop on the web. Local SEO - Optimize that localized content on your web site to properly leverage local signs, online reviews and business entries. Learn more about content material optimization for SEO here. Along with paid-search it offers a very focused audience, visitors referred by SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION will only visit your web site if they are seeking particular home elevators your products or even related content. From keyword ingrdient filling to link buying, the SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMISATION landscape has seen numerous black-hat tricks — and Google usually catches on. Chris Gregory, founder plus managing partner at Jacksonville centered firm, DAGMAR Marketing, predicts that will AI and machine learning might have a big impact upon SEO in 2019 and SEOs who aren't technical will end up being left in the dust. Some SEO specialists also advise that anchor textual content should be varied as several pages linking to one web page using the same anchor textual content may look suspicious to look motors. SEO trickery such because keyword ‘stuffing' in irrelevant written content simply won't cut it throughout the current day, with Google's algorithm taking over 200 aspects to ensure that it's search positions provide results with valid plus authoritative sites, it is next to on impossible to complete anything various other than work with the look for engines to make sure best quality SEO results. From a SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION perspective, the principal keyword need to be at the beginning implemented by the other relevant key phrases. An SEO on the web marketing strategy is a extensive plan to get more individuals to your website through lookup engines. Several search optimizers try to cheat Google by using aggressive strategies that go beyond the fundamental SEO techniques. Subscribe to the particular Single Grain blog now regarding the latest content on SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION, PPC, paid social, and the particular future of internet marketing. SEO can furthermore stand for search engine optimizer. Like the rest of the particular digital landscape, SEO marketing will be continuously evolving. Search Engine Book — Read information right after Moz's guide to solidify knowing regarding it of the basic elements of SEO. If a person do not have the period or have insufficient training upon web design or SEO, Appear for web design experts plus hire a professional SEO assistance agency to keep your web site and your good reputation usually you business may depend upon it. I ended with the website number 1, 228, 570, 060. This particular generates SEO anchor text, which usually helps you in improving your own search engine rankings. SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION marketing is about the keyword choice that will attract a excellent deal of unique visitors in order to your website. Maybe you have question what will be the brand-new changes and updates that we all can experience in SEO back links sphere in 2019? A Cisco research found that by 2019, eighty percent of all consumer Web traffic will be from Web video traffic. If you might have spent time online recently, you have probably browse the term "SEO, inches or "Search Engine Optimization. A great SEO service includes a great deal of research and lots associated with smart keywords application which will certainly period website at a increased notch and provide it the higher ranking in Google web search engine. Professional SEO content authors work on creating articles just after understanding the nature associated with your business, your industry, rivals and what kind of content articles your business might most want for maximum benefits; in the particular short-term and the long-term. Linking to other web pages inside your site, as well because linking to other sites plus getting other sites to connect to yours, is a great method to improve your SEO. Influencer marketing doesn't seem in order to be slowing down anytime shortly, so it will probably obtain bigger in 2018 and also bigger in 2019 when even more companies start to catch upon to this trend. Keeping within mind the last point, SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION agencies are fluent in navigating via Blog9T a wide range of on the web marketing tools that helps boost the value of your marketing technique. Search Engine Optimization (SEO) will be a powerful process that may help make you and your own research more visible to lookup engines like Google and Search engines Scholar. I have simply no clue about SEO only a few basics that is available most over the place and I actually feel this article must help as your other articles assisted me give some direction upon recovering my lost traffic plus generating more content as properly as repurposing old content. You will end up being introduced to the foundational components of how search engines such as google work, how the SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION landscape is promoting and exactly what you can expect in the particular future. The SISTRIX Toolbox consists associated with six modules 1) SEO, 2) Universal, 3) Links, 4) Advertisements, 5) Social and 6) Optimizer. Low-quality content can severely impact the achievements of SEO, within 2018. When your own SEO starts building strong environment, competitors can start maligning your own SEO backlinks. ” With content marketing spend anticipated to reach $300 billion by 2019, this statistic is worrisome. Now the electronic marketing companies know how in order to use AI for SEO, plus in coming years AI can dominate in developing the SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION strategies of the digital advertising companies. Ray Cheselka, AdWords and SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION Manager at webFEAT Complete, the design and SEO agency, states that in 2019 search objective will continue to become even more important. Expert writers of SEO articles may take the time to study the particular industry or market market. 2 tools to help with regional SEO are BrightLocal (for rankings) and MozLocal (for local research optimization). Concerning on-page SEO best practices, I usually link out to other quality appropriate pages on other websites exactly where possible and where a individual would find it valuable. It includes a favorite Routine Table of SEO Success Factors”, a 9-chapter guide to SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION basics, and links to several from the site's most useful blog posts. One thing is usually crystal clear: if you would like people to discover your function, you need search engine marketing (SEO). This almost all means when you're thinking regarding your SEO strategy, you require to think about how your own social networking strategy fits into the particular puzzle, too. As your visitors slowly increases, ensure that you include various other SEO strategies (like adding exterior and internal links, guest publishing, etc) to engage more customers and keep your metrics higher. Google has still left a very narrow band associated with opportunity when it comes in order to SEO - and punishments are made to take you out associated with the game for some period while you cleanup the infractions. Head of Marketing, Shiny Edstrom, at BioClarity, a San Diego based health-science company, thinks that SEO is going in order to see a decreased importance within 2019, and SEOs should begin ensuring they're competent in SEARCH ENGINE MARKETING. The best rank that you could see the profile with contact information and maps on right hands side of search result web page is achieved after long process for using SEO tactics. Numerous search engine optimisation. Search Engine Optimization (SEO) is the technique of customization a website for search motor discovery and indexing. SEO is actually a technique which search motors require that sites must improve properly, so that they show up high in search results. The European Search Honours is an international competition that will shines the spotlight around the best SEO and Content Marketing companies in Europe. Also companies considering about getting Search engine marketing services should go through these types of magazines to familiarize themselves making use of the latest trends within the particular SEO and web-based marketing market to allow them to determine the assistance offered for all of them from the selected SEO companies. Mobile SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION in 2018 will be all regarding Progressive Web Apps (PWAs). The term SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION also describes the making internet pages easier for internet research engine indexing software, known since "crawlers, " to find, check, and index your internet site. I feel that technical SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION mistakes that affect crawl spending budget - and also pollute Search engines with non-SEO-friendly content such because social landing pages, WordPress mass media archives, offer pages and cloned e-commerce product pages - can have a far more detrimental effect upon sites moving forward. Effective SEO lets you improve your website to demonstrate up within search engines. Many of us will get into how for you to pick the best keywords regarding your business later in this kind of SEO guide, but it best you to know how in order to use them, as they usually are referenced throughout this section. Despite the fact that meta descriptions are not a new ranking factor for search motors, they do hold value regarding your website and are element of your SEO presence. Let us speak a bit as to exactly what SEO is before we enter the SEO article writing recommendations for people who may become new or do not very understand it. SEO stands with regard to Seo. This guide is definitely made to describe all places of SEO—from locating the terms plus phrases (keywords) that generate visitors to your website, to producing your web site friendly to search motors, to building links and advertising the unique associated with your own site. Without having SEO, a website can become invisible to search engines. On-page SEO refers for you to every strategy, technique, and instrument you utilize within your web-site to optimize your web web pages and content for search motors like google. Today, the quality of arriving links is evaluated higher when compared with their quantity and may bring about your SEO efforts. Lookup engine optimization (SEO) tools assist companies position themselves to obtain a favorable ranking in internet search engine results. The particular second biggest SEO trend within 2019 will be voice research. We are going to long past mobile search plus voice-search being a ‘trend' : they are the full upon normal now, outdoing desktop research in both volume and SEO-favorability. Rather compared to marketing at people, you require to make it possible regarding them to find you whenever they want you, and which where SEO is available within. Prior To going BlowFish SEO full Time, Robert Headed very successful internet incoming marketing campaigns for Bella Sante Day Spa's of Boston plus Red Door Spas increasing their own yearly Gift Card Sales simply by over 400% and increasing client appointments over 300%. In 2019 and over and above, the majority of the on the web searches will be in the particular form of conversation, and since a result, the online online marketers will give more importance in order to artificial intelligence keywords for marketing of the web content. UnGagged Greater london is really a 2-day SEARCH ENGINE MARKETING & Digital Marketing conference of which takes place June 11-12th, using one-day intensive masterclasses on 06 13th. These ‘quality updates' are very reminiscent of Search engines Panda updates and often influence many websites at the exact same time - and often these types of concentrate on demoting similar ‘low-quality' SEO techniques we have already been told Panda focuses on. I think savvy SEOs are going to utilize AI content generation (text and pictures especially) in 2019 to make a whole new kind associated with search algorithm gaming, that might almost be viewed as dark hat. This course covers how in order to build strong links for much better SEO. SEO companies ensure that will your site has all associated with the SEO Internet marketing like as business improvement, localized item sales, high quality online era and the rest. 2018 brought many adjustments to the world of SEARCH ENGINE MARKETING, including a few new protocol evolutions through Google. An expert Seo agency may help any dimensions of company take full advantage of web marketing and boost the likelihood associated with actual sales while simultaneously enhance brand awareness one of the particular potential audience segment. Recently we were speaking about the subject with the friendly agency in Valencia plus we directed to this entrance of Search Engine Journal along with the 20 questions that need to be done to any SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION or SEO agency that desires to hire. Performing SEO upon your own websites is the great method to practice plus hone your SEO ability. We optimize your web site both of internal and exterior factors thats Google's engine rely on and reliable for top rank search result, Gurantee your SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION ranking No succeed can refundable. Looking deeper: An SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION cost often means one associated with two things: the investment within your organic search strategy, or just how much you pay for compensated search engine marketing (SEM) solutions like Google AdWords. All of us are dealing with new methods designed to target old design SEO tactics and that concentrate around the truism that DOMAIN NAME ‘REPUTATION' plus Plenty of WEBPAGES plus SEO equals Plenty associated with Keywords equals LOTS of Search engines traffic. BrightonSEO is a one-day search marketing and advertising conference and series of education courses held, unsurprisingly, in Brighton. From narrowing lower target markets to changing the particular way content is written, AI and voice search will have got a continuous effect on SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION moving forward. One aspect of SEO will be link building, which we can discuss slightly below, which usually leads to thin content. Applications for typically the 2018-2019 cycle of the SEO Improve programme are now closed in addition to will re-open again in Springtime 2019. SEO could be difficult because search engines are constantly reevaluating and changing how they will prioritize search engine results. Moreover, it will help SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION by gaining backlinks, likes, responses or shares.

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claraoswald81 · 6 years

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5 Mind Numbing Facts About SEO 2019

Simply no online marketing strategy would become complete without careful consideration in order to SEO - search engine optimisation. Screaming Frog SEO Index tool does it for you personally inside a few seconds, even with regard to larger websites. SEOs also used to believe that buying links was the valid method of link developing; however, Google will now punish you for buying links within an attempt to manipulate page rank. Ultimately, achievement in SEO in 2018 plus forward will depend on developing amazing content and making this as easy as possible with regard to search engines like google in order to understand exactly what that articles is all about. Answer: When you focus in SEO for voice search anyone need to create your written content around long tail keywords while people tend to use a great deal more words in voice search. SEO is the practice associated with increasing the search engine ranks of your webpages so that will they appear higher in lookup results, bringing more traffic in order to your website. In the particular previous example, Bob's home web page might have the title, "Bob's Soccer Store - Soccer Sneakers and Equipment. " The name is the most important component of SEO, since it shows the search engine exactly exactly what the page is all regarding. 47. When creating SEO content material, keep the social layer within your mind. For those who have time to get good search engine optimisation education, after that combine this knowledge with greatest practices and you are upon your way to become a good SEO expert. 46. Use SEO practices in order to optimize your social media content. 4. Mobile SEO plus Local Business: - As all of us mentioned before, users tend in order to search for local business upon the smartphones. The much better you get at SEO, the particular more traffic - and even more leads - you're likely in order to attract over time. To find away more read our 2019 styles in SEO marketing report. Are voice searches plus it's expected that by 2019, 67 million voice-assisted devices is usually going to be in make use of in the U. S. These types of kinds of changes and provide on your website shouldn't end up being a problem logistically — the particular overall practice among the greatest web companies nowadays is making sure that websites are flexible sufficient, especially for SEO purposes. Whether you usually are a marketer, webmaster or company owner, it is very essential invest in voice SEO marketing to reap benefits in 2019. We said earlier that sociable media isn't a direct SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION ranking factor, so you're possibly wondering why we're even talking about it. The particular effects of Black hat SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION are temporary, it will not take the particular search engine long before this spots these illegal strategies plus then penalizes you; the research engine may spam your hyperlinks and if you continue making use of these malpractices the search motor will altogether block your web site and links. Algorithmic chasers, technical SEOs, plus Google Doodle followers should develop their technical skills to concentrate on emerging voice search systems and AI applications. Single Grain is a electronic marketing agency in order in order to companies like Uber, Amazon plus Salesforce grow their revenues on the internet using SEO and paid marketing. If you understand you might have VERY lower-quality doorway pages on your own site, a person should remove them or think again about your SEO strategy if a person want to rank high within Google for the long expression. One of the issues engines like google and Bing have often attempted to overcome is knowing which external links exist exclusively for SEO purposes and which usually links represent a true indicator that the source content will be of value to the visitors. 2018 has currently seen some particularly significant SEO paradigm shifts from Mobile First” in order to the ever-advancing Rankbrain machine-learning formula. Content marketing is definitely a bigger approach which along with SEO forms a part associated with your digital marketing strategy. What You Should Know: This future of search engine marketing is Semantic SEO. Links plus technical SEO are the biggest pieces of the pie, yet multimedia efforts such as video clip, photos, and podcasts will end up being the game changer and differentiator in many competitive markets. Occasional, and I actually do more occasional and not really frequent, usage of keywords plus keyword phrases in these hyperlinks may also help very somewhat in your SEO processes. Excelling at SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION means serving your visitors—not simply search engines. Here arrives the idea of SEO or even search engine optimization. The particular fact remains that SEO providers assure clients that even in case the site will not position among the top search motors like google, the money may not be a waste expected to the refund. Dave Gregory, Content Marketing Supervisor from the UK based efficiency marketing agency, SiteVisibility, predicts that will 2019, and not 2018, will be going to be the actual year of voice. If we consider Google's Guide then there are almost 200+ factors that lead a web site in ranking, which we have got researched and clustered in twenty one On Page SEO Factors, that will needs your attention in 2019. SEO Wise Links can automatically link crucial terms in your posts plus comments with corresponding posts, webpages, categories and tags on your own blog. 41. An effective interpersonal media strategy needs a strong SEO plan. Google does make a few of this data accessible in their particular free Webmaster Tools interface (if you haven't set up a free account, this is a very useful SEO tool both for unearthing search query data and intended for diagnosing various technical SEO issues). AI and Tone of voice Search Impact SEO, Lets observe how voice search analytics Impact's SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION and can impact in the particular coming time. A great many businesses determine to hire external help for you to get the full benefits regarding SEO, so a large portion of our audience is studying how to convince their customers that search is an excellent investment (and then prove it! ). Nevertheless, SEOs tend in order to prefer links higher on the page. Because your site, because of to the nature of the business is going to become more image orientated than textual content heavy, you will end up at a small disadvantage when it comes for you to employing SEO techniques such because keywords, backlinking and so on. Ultimately, simply by the end of 2018 or even mid-2019, we'll see a golf swing back to natural” content created by real humans who may produce valuable content that really provides value. Hiring experienced SEO experts may ensure that your website climbs the search engine ranks with out using any illegal practices or even short cuts that could generate short-term spikes in the cyberspace ranking, but eventually lead in order to your website having to spend penalties. Official Site Associated with BlowFish SEO - Professional Search Motor Optimization Services operated by Robert DiSalvo SEO Located in Hand Beach Gardens, Florida. The takeaway here is usually that if you might have got LOTS of location pages providing A SINGLE business in one particular location, then those are really probably classed as some type of doorway pages, and possibly old-school SEO techniques for these types of type of pages will notice them classed as lower-quality : or even - spammy webpages. CRAWL this, like Google does, with (for example) Screaming Frog SEO spider, plus fix malformed links or issues that result in server errors (500), broken links (400+) and unwanted redirects (300+). SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION gives you an attempt at rating for the terms which your own customers use, so you may do better business. The job of the SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION is to create high-quality content material then win the attention, the particular love as well as the particular link from a blogger or even editor. The keyword difficulty or even keyword SEO difficulty is the very useful metric for key word research. User-generated content racks up serious SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION points by providing sites along with fresh content, bundles of inbound links, and sources for organically framing natural attributes. You'll find it right here Also really worth checking away is Moz's Beginner's Explained SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION, ” which you'll find right here, and the SEO Success Pyramid from Small Business Search Advertising. Off-page SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION strategy refers to the impact of a change in various other websites in your search rating. Bruce Clay-based set the standard for honest internet marketing by authoring the particular " SEO Code of Integrity, " now translated into eighteen languages, and it has already been a respected leader within the particular ever-changing research engine marketing industry since mil novecentos e noventa e seis. Website SEARCH ENGINE MARKETING (including, content optimisation, meta marketing 7 Common Misconceptions About SEO 2019, the significance of links). A good SEO Specialist is someone who else is an expert on the particular topic of search engine search engine optimization. Just due to the fact a proper On-page and Off-page SEO optimization work will provide a better Ranking to your own website in Search Engine Outcome Page (SERP). The largest SEO change and craze I realize already happening within 2018 is Google's switch in order to a mobile-first index, so when a site is not however mobile-friendly and optimized for this, it's critical to prioritize this particular as it is now essential for its SEO success. With good on-page SEO, research engines can easily index your own web pages, understand what your own site is about, and effortlessly navigate the structure and content material of your website, thus position your site accordingly. Businesses with multiple websites and SEO-agencies can set up report layouts. Its search engine marketing group provides expertise in Pay-per-click marketing services, organic SEO and sociable media optimisation. The particular ads that you often discover on various web pages demonstrated and those that also show up on the rightmost side associated with search engine results are inorganic SEO examples. While I nevertheless see this trend in have fun with with many enterprises still within the midst of their electronic transformation, the convergence in the particular MarTech space is creating numerous synergies and opportunities and this particular should be seen as the welcome development for brands plus agencies who are looking regarding an edge in regards in order to their SEO driven content advertising or outreach strategies. Along with the only complete certainty that SEO's, Website owners may have a lot of adjustments to make to web sites under their care in the particular mobile and voice search scenery. The basics of GOOD SEO hasn't changed for years - even though effectiveness of particular elements provides certainly narrowed or changed within type of usefulness - a person should still be focusing upon building a simple site making use of VERY simple SEO best practices - don't perspiration the small stuff, while all-the-time paying attention to the essential stuff - add plenty of unique PAGE TITLES and lots associated with new ORIGINAL CONTENT. Keyword research is usually THE first step of any kind of SEO campaign. If you speak about search ranking in SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION, you're talking about the placement of your content on lookup results pages (SERPs). Kent Lewis, Creator, and President of Anvil, the performance-based firm based out associated with Portland, says that in 2019 voice search and Amazon research will end up a lot more notable than they were in 2018. Google Search Console (Webmaster tools) is one of the particular SEO basics. If you need to find out how We actually do it, visit Write-up Czar to get a free gift plus details of could use content marketing and SEOcious to acquire top Google listings. It really is geared towards SEO professionals (in-house and agency), marketing managers, and company owners. But now SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION considers tweets, retweets, Google+ authorship, along with other social signals. Besides rating the web site, the SEO team will become fault Client's marketing or product sales team by converting surfers or even visitors into buyers. Because therefore much sharing now takes place on major social media systems, social signals may become simply because important to SEO as period on page, editorial linking, plus content quality. Using social mass media marketing in PA with SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION tactics can help boost the website's ranking and popularity. This may create friction and the impact that most well-designed websites are usually very poorly optimized for SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION. They have impacted SEO during the past as well by bringing inbound links, and today it's even even more. Siteimprove SEO incorporates sixty six unique SEO checks, including tests for missing meta descriptions, transliteration mistakes, broken links, outdated documents, poor readability, and links in order to unsafe domains. But in case we're looking for a larger trend it's that SEO plus what we call real marketing” will continue to blur the particular lines between them as the particular job of the SEO turns into that of a traditional marketing expert - having to understand the particular user, the competitors, the market and also the implementation aspect. Thanks for going to the world of Search Motor Optimization (SEO). For example, we regularly generate content on the topic associated with "SEO, " but it's nevertheless very hard to rank properly on Google for such the popular topic on this acronym alone. What can all of us industry shifts show about the particular future of SEO and content material marketing? Search engine search engine Blog9T optimization (SEO) is on a move. Whether a person are an SEO Professional, Electronic Marketing Agency, SMB or Brand name, looking to increase your visitors or to monitor your website's evolution, this SEO software can provide you with best within class digital marketing strategy evaluation and insights for your company. Their expertise is definitely incredibly valuable because there will be lots of science to SEO, plus it is constantly changing since search engines like Google keep on to update their algorithms. From a content viewpoint, I'd say one of the particular best ways to get SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION value out of video is usually to focus your efforts upon addressing your customer's pain factors. You will become introduced to the foundational components of how search engines such as google work, how the SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION landscape is promoting and exactly what you can expect in the particular future. The SISTRIX Toolbox consists associated with six modules 1) SEO, 2) Universal, 3) Links, 4) Advertisements, 5) Social and 6) Optimizer. Low-quality content can severely impact the achievements of SEO, within 2018. When your own SEO starts building strong coffee grounds, competitors can start maligning your own SEO backlinks. ” With content marketing spend likely to reach $300 billion by 2019, this statistic is worrisome. Now the electronic marketing companies know how in order to use AI for SEO, plus in coming years AI will certainly dominate in developing the SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION strategies of the digital advertising companies. Ray Cheselka, AdWords and SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION Manager at webFEAT Complete, the design and SEO agency, states that in 2019 search purpose will continue to become even more important. Expert writers of SEO articles may take the time to study the particular industry or specific niche market market. 2 tools to help with nearby SEO are BrightLocal (for rankings) and MozLocal (for local research optimization). Concerning on-page SEO best practices, I usually link out to other quality related pages on other websites exactly where possible and where a human being would find it valuable. It includes a well known Regular Table of SEO Success Factors”, a 9-chapter guide to SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION basics, and links to a few from the site's most useful blog posts. PeepCon (which stands for The Someones Conference”) seeks to teach workable SEO and digital marketing training. See how Matthew had taken a website from zero in order to one million visits in much less than a year, using the mix of blogging, content marketing and advertising, and SEO. Solid comprehending of the keywords, questions, plus phrases your ideal customers employ to find your products in addition to services is critical to successful SEO. 34. Applying SEO practices (such keyword optimization) to social networking improves discoverability when users search sociable platforms like Facebook and Youtube . com. Onsite SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION Guide — If you the particular actual link, you will observe a opt-in button where a person can download the Onsite SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION Guide. ” Matt Diggity will a lot of testing upon his own sites, and this guidebook reflects what on page methods are working best for your pet. One important aspect associated with taking care of SEO will be identifying issues that are harming search engine ranking positions plus reducing the traffic you receive through SERPs. User-generated content like reviews assist SEO through SMO, because this often comes in the type of social shares, likes, or even commenting, or common threads such as hashtags that point back in the direction of a brand. Local SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION services offer a very focused online marketing approach, (it's not really like dropping off brochures upon front-porch steps or paying for a good ad in a local newspapers that could or may not really be seen by a achievable client that is actually fascinated in your products or services). In 2018, SEO is content and articles is SEO, content is electronic and digital is content. Before starting a good SEO project, site owners ought to carefully read through the internet marketer guidelines that every search motors provides and follow recommended greatest practices. This is clear that when website owners hire a search engine optimisation SEO expert, they stand the better chance of maximizing their particular SEO services. Search motors cannot understand this type associated with content, so it's essential to design and style video pages in an SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION oriented manner. Subscribe to our weekly SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION and daily SearchCap newsletters for a summarize of all the latest SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION related news, tips and techniques from Internet search engine Property and other sources all more than the Web. When if you're logged in, go to SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION Toolkit » Keyword Research » Keyword Overview. For virtually any SEO technique to operate successfully you will need content and that will can come in any type like keywords, articles or websites. From 2019, AI may be utilized by the businesses to acquire higher rankings upon search engines. As a result, it can be a great idea to incorporate expenses with regard to professional SEO content in your own quarterly marketing budget. Google will see right by means of sneaky, black hat SEO strategies like creating duplicate pages, developing pages with thin content simply for the sake of obtaining more pages and buying inbound links. The sensible strategy for SEO would certainly still appear to be in order to reduce Googlebot crawl expectations plus consolidate ranking equity & possible in high-quality canonical pages plus you do that by reducing duplicate or near-duplicate content. This can take a LONG period for a site to recuperate from using black hat SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION tactics and fixing the troubles is not going to necessarily bring organic visitors back as it was just before a penalty. The particular best SEO Guide is right here to dispel those myths, plus give you all you require to know about SEO in order to show up online and some other search engines, and ultimately make use of SEO to grow your company. > > Upon Page Optimization: On-page SEO is definitely the act of optimizing unique pages with a specific finish goal to rank higher plus acquire more important movement within web crawlers. There are several websites providing pertinent information regarding SEO and online marketing, and you will learn from them. But it's confusing why some businesses don't try out harder with analysis, revisions, plus new content with their SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION online marketing strategy. An effective SEO strategy can be made up of a mix of elements that ensure your internet site is trusted by both customers as well as the research engines. By taking their particular marketing needs online and employing confer with an experienced SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION agency, a business has the capacity to achieve thousands, or even millions associated with people that they would possess not been able to in any other case. BrightLocal offers been helping local businesses, multi-location businesses and SEO professionals realize and enhance their positions in the particular local search market since year. Which where search engine optimization, or even SEO, is available in. Right here are the best conferences in order to learn more about SEO (and digital marketing) in 2018 plus 2019. Every little or multi-location company can develop their business and attract even more customers using Local SEO techniques In this article we clarify what local search optimization will be, and why using a regional SEO company can help enhance your online visibility. 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