#Great Lakes payment

[gremlingottoosilly]

Eat your Young (viking!Konig x fem!Reader)

You weren't afraid when the Vikings came. Your ruler pays them well, and they protect you from enemies far worse - there is nothing to worry about as you, an unmarried maiden, wander into the embrace of one of them. They are on your side. Right? Tags and CWs: Age gap, size difference, Konig is a bit obsessive and a huge perv, mentions of violence, Vikings Are Actually Kinda Nice No For Real, hand jobs, oral sex, naked man/clothed woman, slightly historically inaccurate, jokes about inbreeding Thanks to @angelbabysblog for the idea. I changed quite a lot because I was reading articled about how many of the Slavic cities were actually cool with Vikings and worked with them AO3

The Vikings are here. Your Father never allowed you to meet them before – as an unmarried girl, even if you’re already of age, it would be…scandalous. Not smart. Dumb, really – everyone knows that girls that are messing with the warrior from overseas often end up being taken away. And you couldn’t survive sea travel. The Vikings are here, but it’s not really a problem – you know that there are other countries over the sea, the countries that die and burn every time a ship is sailed in their harbors. You also know that you do not live in a country like that. That sound of Vikings approaching is a good one – that you’ll be protected from the other enemies your country has. You always stole glances, despite what your father has told you – you were a curious thing, always searching for trouble, always interested in everyone outside of your small village. You’re on the border – stuck between sea and great plains, open for any enemy if it weren’t for mercenaries who deemed this place as worthy of their camp. They live here, occupying the territory outside – even build themselves houses, despite every rumor calling them nothing more but overseas barbarians who would tear you down for a flick of a coin. 

Well, you always thought you’d have nothing to worry about – you are not made of coins, after all. The Vikings had a leader, the one that stayed in the long house just outskirts of the village – the one that would always visit the elders, discussing the payments and the spoils of war. Father always punished you if any nosy neighbor would see you sneaking out to look at the warriors – but you couldn’t care less. If you are going to end up in a marriage with a fool, you could at least steal a few looks at the real men. Not the ones from your village – they felt more like brothers than anything else. Some of them were – second, third, fourth, just diluted enough to make the babies a bit less disfigured. 

But, oh, nothing compared to the vikings. You see them when you run for the lake, far from the shore. They are clean – cleaner than sailors from Byzantine who sometimes stumbled upon the small village by the sea. You think you heard them talking about how cleanliness is a sin – and just how silly it sounded. You think you didn’t like people from this place very much – sailors were often drunk, always handsy and never spared a kind word without an insult…not that you knew their language – but you are smart enough to know that if a man is attempting to grasp your breasts while sneering something through his teeth, it won’t be a love poem. 

— What are you doing here? 

Ah. 

You were spotted. Like a fox in a hunter’s trap – you are standing in the tall water grass, looking at the man through the weeping willow branches. Maybe, if you are lucky enough, he’d think you were a mavka, trying to drown him – some men were foolish enough to fall for the act, sparing you the consequences of your curiosity. You aren’t sure if the Vikings have legends of mavkas – if they even have lakes back where they are from. All travelers are mixed in your head – desserts, great plains, barbarians who would steal your sisters if you’d been blessed with some. Sea beasts who will take you on your ship, away from your father and…ah, it doesn’t sound too bad. 

— Can’t you talk? 

His voice is rough, and accented. Younger than you thought he would be with a body like this – a seasoned warrior, ginger hair covering his muscular chest and a small trail falling down his…

Viking knows your language. Shouldn’t be surprising – they are working for the elders and your ruler, after all. They get gold from your village, they get food from your village. They get sons – you heard about at least some of the women falling pregnant to the guests overseas. No one dares to say anything against it – but the rumors are still falling. You wonder if it’s as bad as it sounds. — I can talk. 

This sounds dumb, but there is no use in hiding. Your intentions weren’t innocent – you are curious and curiosity is what leads to the devil. Or god of death. Or goddess – you are not well-versed in matters of spirit and while half of your village is still worshipping old gods while the other preaches about new, stronger ones, you wonder what kind of beliefs Vikings have. You heard their women can wield magic – and can count. And read. You would love to read, you think. — Gut. Thought I spotted a Margygr.

The word is weird. Rough. You don’t know what that is, but you certainly aren’t one. You take a step forward, not caring that your linen dress is getting drenched in water – not caring about what your father might say after. You would just tell him you wanted to go and drown since he was so adamant on marrying you off to some one-eyed half-wit quarter brother of yours. He wouldn’t be surprised – and you probably wouldn’t be missed. A whore to be, as some older women from your village would say. 

— What is that? 

He tilts his head to the side, his blue eyes looking at you. You notice a piece of cloth in his hands – something that must have been covering his face, you think. He is covered in scars and dirt, blood from some battle is getting washed away into the water of the lake. Gods, you say to yourself – you won’t even be drinking from it again. Although you promised it to yourself a few years ago already, when you spotted a dead deer lying in the water – and it’s not like you held to your promise. Better than seawater, after all. — A…drowned creature. Drowning creature. Your people are calling them… — Oh. Mavka. — Others call it mermaid. Selkie. Mermaid sounds harsh too. Rude. Other languages are rude – still, you would like to know more. Still, you would like to do anything to get out of your village. Learn to read. To write. Maybe hold a baby goat close to your chest and not have it ripped away for the nearest dinner. 

— I’m not…that. 

— I can see. 

He laughs and you steal a peak at his manhood. You should be ashamed, really – if your dear mother was alive, she’d beat you up for being so immodest. If your dear mother was alive, you wouldn’t be allowed to sneak out like that – but she isn’t, so you stare at the man who can crush your skull in one hand. You stare at the trail of ginger hair going down his waist. The muscles flexing and the scars on his hips, glossy from cold lake water. 

Hm. 

Is it supposed to be this big? 

He coughs and you peek to look at him again. Coughing isn’t good – he can be sick. Contangenous. There is a sickness coming around from sailor to sailor – you wonder if vikings have it too. You don’t want to get sick – but it would surely keep you out of marriage for a long while. Maybe, if you’re lucky enough, you could be buried like a pretty maiden. White dress and mourning relatives. That would teach them how to send you off to marry some dumb cousin you never knew before. Or knew too well. — You shouldn’t come here, Schatzen. 

— Why? 

— My men won’t be as nice as I am when they see a maiden in the lake. 

You smile, tilting your head to the side. There are rumors – you can’t invite foreign mercenaries into your country without them taking their toll on the locals. Some people like them, some people are scared of them. Some are going out of the ordeal pregnant and some are not returning at all. But, you can run. But, this is your lake. You like it here – the quiet, the tranquility. You think that if your father proceed with calling you an old bride who should be married as soon as possible, you could just run away and live here. Fish is nice and there are berries when it’s not too cold. — Where are your men? 

You never saw Vikings in battle. Never saw a group of them up close – you’d like to, of course. There are warriors in your village, but their best shot is wolves and deer. Not other men – you think you’d like to see war sometimes. Maybe, all the boys of age would die and you won’t have to worry about anything anymore. You would be nice as a local witch – or a local healer. Old hag sounds nice too. — Around. Waiting for the order. — What order? 

You ask so many questions, König thinks. Pretty thing – smart, too. You aren’t afraid of him, even though you have to be. Most women would be screaming and crying if they saw someone like him in the lake next to them. Not Viking women of course – but people from around here are soft. Cherished. Coddled. You also seem soft, too soft, too gentle – a woman living in a small village on the shore without a husband shouldn’t be this careless. König knows you’re just lucky that the ruler of your country is kind enough to pay the overseas mercenaries instead of suffering the pillaging. Not all of people are this lucky. 

If he won’t get a promised weight in gold this village won’t be lucky either. 

König looks at your sweet face, at the way your eyes constantly dart to his crotch. Curious little thing you are – he isn’t sure if he is that happy that the payments have been consistent up to this point. That he can’t just screw this all over and demand a payment in other ways. That pillaging this village and taking all of its women isn’t really an option while they get their gold from here. Your long linen dress clings to your skin - you’re shaking, he notices. From cold, probably, dumb lady who is too curious for her own good. Hm. He has furs not far from here. He can…

— We’re protecting the shore. The border, too. You smile, nodding. And here he thought the locals knew why the foreigners were here – but he can’t expect too much, he guesses. At least it seems like you haven’t heard of most of his accomplishments. The rivers of blood would be enough to fill this whole lake three times. Or, maybe, you heard – and didn’t care, brave and fearless little thing. König likes the sound of that. 

— Are you cold? 

You ask him, to his surprise. Your gaze is switching from his face – he is open, cheeks flushed from the cold and a maiden right next to him, and he can’t even find it in himself to cover his scarred mug – to his cock. It’s standing proudly, heavy, balls hanging low as if asking to be held in your soft palms. König isn’t embarrassed – but he is surprised that your body, showing only a little bit in that dress of yours, is already enough to make him this bothered. This ready to give up the supposed protection of this village and take what’s his. — You can warm me. 

You tilt your head to the side, mimicking his action from earlier. Curious bird – he could keep you at his ship. Tied up to the post, ready for anyone to use you. You’re strong, and resilient. Should survive the long way home – and he is getting quite ready to find someone at last. If the ruler of your little kingdom won’t be as stingy as the previous one, König can walk away with a sack of gold hanging on his shoulder. Enough for him and for him men. Surely enough to sway you. — How? 

— Do you have a husband? 

He knows, you probably don’t. A husband wouldn’t allow his wife to run around and flirt with other men – and if König was yours, he surely would keep you locked in like the treasure you are. There is too many men ready to take what doesn’t belong to them. 

— No. And I won’t.

— Why? — Soon I will be too old to be a bride anyway. Not that I want it. He laughs at that. Surely, little bird, it wouldn’t be your choice. If the luck is on his side, it wouldn’t even be the choice of your father. — Touch me, Schatzen. You want it, ja? 

He says this with more awkwardness than before. Swaying women by his side isn’t his strong suit – and even with his strength, not many of them would just throw themselves at him. Being a mercenary leader might bring him money but with the whole team consisting of equally strong and handsome men, the broody leader usually isn’t the first choice. He gets his fill eventually – but not the one that would make his heart flutter. With you, however… Your hands are traveling down his abs. Caressing every bit of skin you see – sending goosebumps down his navel and straight to his hard and leaking cock. He wonders if you’ve done this before – but your actions are the one of an explorer, not a professional. YOu grab his cock with both hands almost as if strangling him, and König lets go with a choked moan. 

You retrieve your hands, nervous. Good girl. Eager, pretty. Such a shame this village usually pays its tolls. — Are you hurt? 

— Nein, it’s…go on. You proceed to touch him, the softness of your touches is making him groan from pleasure. This is something else – you’re something else. Having the power to bring a seasoned warrior to his knees – god, how much he liked the way you looked at him. Eager and curious, always going down to touch his cock some more. You press your palm together, making s steady rhythm – using the pre-cum from his cockhead like a lube. 

König relishes in the feeling – he might be one of the strongest soldiers, but it was the first time he felt victorious. With your hand pumping his cock up and down, the pleasure settling in his stomach and threatening to burst, he felt like a king. No, the king. Gods, you were beautiful. Worthy of throwing this village into the fire for. Worthy risking the payment. Your mouth is warm on his manhood – he didn’t expect you to be this active, to wrap your lips around the bulging head and bop your head just a bit. Up and down. Tongue swirling, as if tasting him. Making him sweat that you will decide to take a bite out of it, just to satisfy your curiosity. To his peace, you didn’t. He came shortly after you decided to put your mouth on him – when your tongue started to swirl around and collect the bitter taste of his pre-cum. When your curiosity about foreign warriors bathing in your lake finally made you do something about it – and he would feel bad about pressing a hand in your hair and forcing you to choke on his length, your nails digging small red paths in his pale thighs. You choke and squirm and cry and this is the sweetest sound he ever heard – so when he finally drags you away from his cock, smiling as you wipe your mouth and whimper. Squirm again, some more. The light in your faded a little as he pushed one calloused finger into his mouth and pushed your lips apart. Poor thing, he thinks. — You did good, little bird. 

His seed tastes weird on the tongue. You wince, but swallow – it’s what good brides should do, you think. Somehow, looking at this warrior, you don’t feel so bad about being considered a bride. Maybe…no. You stalled here for long enough – you saw the Viking. You touched him. Tasted him. Father is probably looking for you. 

You don’t even bother to say goodbye as you come out of the water – but König stops you right on the edge of the lake, firm hand on your shoulder. Squeezing. Touching. Feeling. 

— I…I apologize, maiden. I lost control. 

His voice is hesitant. You don’t like how unsure he sounds. It made you feel unsure too. Weird. Uncertain and meek. 

— Are you going to leave soon? 

He stops mumbling, looking into your eyes. This is settled – he is not leaving you here. You must return to your family, say your goodbyes. Maybe enjoy a few weeks of peace before his troupe finally gets a clearing on killing whatever enemies grouped at the border – and he will take you no matter the payment your ruler can give him. Nothing will be worth more than you. 

— Yes. Yes, I will. You turn away, almost running. He didn’t stop you this time – you need to get as much freedom in your lungs as you can. He will take you eventually and, well…you best enjoy freedom as much as you could before this. 

When your village will burn along with all the cousins, half-triple brothers, and elders, you’ll find out why most countries fear the Vikings. When you will be hauled to the wooden ship over a giant’s shoulder, with his hand sitting firmly on your ass and his other palm preventing you from screaming, you’d know why taking the attention of overseas mercenaries is a bad idea. When your ruler would refuse to pay the warriors for their service and force them to just take everything by force, you’d know why making payments on time is so important. 

When König would finally make you his wife, you’d understand why you should have drowned in that lake instead. 

[louloulemons-posts]

Jealousy

Eddie Munson X Fem!Reader

Summary : Eddie likes you, but you’re with Harrington, right?

Word Count : 1.9k

Warnings : Not Proofread, fluff, stoners, use of weed and alcohol, the stranger things teens actually acting like teens lol, swears, cuteness, ft Nancy, Robin, Jonathan and Steve, jealous eds this was wrote a 3am so the spelling is probably atrocious.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

“Every time I tell you to bring a jacket and every time you’re like, ‘No Steve I won’t get cold’,” he spoke, mocking you as he did.

“I’m not cold, you’re the one freaking out!”

“You have goosebumps, you’re gonna catch a cold,” he said, throwing his blue jacket at your head. Smacking you straight in the face. “I honestly question why we’re still friends sometimes.”

“Guys let’s go,” Robin moaned, stood waiting for you. “We’re coming,” you said, jogging up to her, linking arms. “It’s fine just abandon me. Don’t worry about it,” Steve shouted.

“Okay,” you said in sync, laughing to yourselves. “Hey guys!” a familiar voice spoke. Eddie walked over to you, dressed in his normal attire of denim vest, jeans and leather jacket. Cute.

“Munson, you made it,” Steve said happily, “Now I won’t have to spend the night being bullied by these two demons.” You linked your free arm through Eddies, “You’re right! You can be bullied by the three of us.”

“I hate you all,” Steve groaned.

“You know you love us,” Robin said, grabbing Steve’s arm. “So are Wheeler and Byers meeting us there?” Eddie asked.

You nodded, “Yeah, Nance had work so they’re coming a little later.” He hummed in acknowledgement. You began chatting with Robin as you walked, the four of you still linked together.

You didn’t notice the curly haired boys eyes on you, well actually what you were wearing to be specific. Harringtons jacket. Just like a few days ago, you stole his yellow jumper, untying it from his waist.

It broke his heart, he’d always liked you, never got round to telling you. He couldn’t. He was Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson. You were everything. Your friendship was enough for him, but seeing you, watching you and Steve.

“You good?” you asked him.

“Oh yeah I’m fine, you?”

“Peachy!” you smiled up at him, making his heart flutter. “How’s your uncle Wayne?”

“He’s doing well. He told me to tell you he’s willing to pay you to make him more of that banana loaf.”

You laughed at that, “I’ll make sure too, no payment necessary though. He’s a nice man.” Humming again in agreement.

Robin spoke up, “This looks like a good spot, clear enough to see the fireworks.”

There was some huge celebration for Hawkins happening tonight. Fireworks, a party, the whole big sha-bang. You guys decided to have your own little party, some food, snacks, pot, and good company.

Steve threw a blanket down on the floor, “Nance said she’s bringing another with her,” he explained. You were sat by Lovers lake, it was so peaceful this time of year.

The orange skies reflecting off the still water. “Y/N.”

“Hm?” you asked turning towards Robin.

“Smile!” She said, pointing her camera towards you. You did as she said smiling and posing.

“Perfect!” She grabbed the photo and began shaking it so it would develop. Eddie smiled at you as you mimicked her shaking, the pair of you ended up dancing as she did.

Finally the picture was clear enough to see, “It looks great, you look pretty.”

“Aw thanks Robs,” you smiled, kissing her cheek.

“Anyone want a drink?” Steve asked, pulling out a few beers. “Throw one,” Eddie spoke, catching the can in one hand with ease. He sat down one the blanket, stretching out his long legs.

“Hey you, leave some room for the rest of us,” you spoke, plopping down next to him.

“You’ve got plenty of room, I’m a big guy, let me be comfy.”

“Okay big boy you take all the room you need.” You looked to your can, pulling the tab to open it, not realising how Eddies face flushed.

“Hey Eddie did you bring the good stuff?” Robin asked. “Obviously, I’m not gonna bring gross shit. I’m smoking too.”

“Oh so if you weren’t you’d give us weed that tastes like ass?” Steve asked.

“You know what ass tastes like Harrington?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” the boy smirked.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

“Hey guys!” Nancys voice came from behind you. You scrambled up to hug her, “Hi!” she smiled to you.

“Hey Nance, Jonathan how are you?” you smiled at him.

The pair of you began quiet conversation, you’d always liked him. Just like Will, they were sweet kids, not surprising with a mom like Joyce. That woman had a heart of gold.

But later on you stood by the waters edge, watching it ripple as the breeze blew. You rubbed your arms, it was a bit cool, and getting colder as the sun disappeared.

“If you say ‘I told you so’ I’ll throw you in the fucking lake,” you said aloud.

“How’d you know it was me?”

“Could smell the hairspray.”

“You’re horrible.”

“But you love me.”

You wrapped your arms around Steve’s middle, his going around your shoulders. “You good?”

“Mhm, stealing your warm.”

“Great so you’ve stole my jacket and warm,” he sighed, but didn’t let go.

“You guys ready to smoke?” Eddie asked, making you look up from Steve’s neck. He almost sounded annoyed? “Yeah!” You smiled at him, walking over to re-join the group.

Plonking yourself down between Robin and Eddie, you hummed in contentment. Eddie pulled out 2 pre-rolled blunts, handing one to Jonathan and keeping one himself.

The pair lit them and took the first inhales, smoke coming out of their noses. “Steves definitely gonna pull a whitey, he’s already drunk!” Robin laughed.

“Why am I friends with any of you?”

“Cause you love us,” you said in a sing-song voice.

The metal head offered you the blunt, not meeting your eyes as you thanked him. Taking a drag you, feeling the tickle of the smoke against your lungs.

The blunts were passed between the six of you and soon enough the first pop and boom was heard in the sky. Red and blue danced against the darkness, leaving you all in awe.

More and more fireworks began to appear, in the starry sky. They were so beautiful. You sighed, resting your head on someone’s shoulder, too stoned to really care who.

He cared though, knowing he’d need something a lot stronger to not care about you. To not feel like his heart would burst out of his chest as you laid there, smiling at the sky.

He couldn’t do this. Couldn’t keep falling for you. Keep loving you. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair on him. Or Steve. God you had a boyfriend and you were here with him like this.

Nudging your head with his shoulder slightly, he stood up, brushing down his jeans. Excusing himself and walking away from the five of you.

Cocking you head your eyes followed after the dark haired boy. Wondering what was wrong. After a few minutes you decided to follow after him.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

“Eddie~” you called out for him. “You okay? Why’d you go away?” You giggled at your rhyme. Soon enough you found him, his back to you.

“Hi,” you spoke, walking closer to him. He was stood at the waters edge. “You okay? You wandered off.”

“Yeah I’m good.”

“Thought you were just taking a leak, but you were gone agesss. Got worried.”

“Why?” he asked genuinely, eyebrows furrowed as he looked at you. “Uh cause you’re my friend, and I like you duh.” He hummed at you, and you bumped his shoulder.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Go for it Munson, I’m an open book right now, so this may be your only chance.”

“How long have you and Harrington been a thing?”

Your eyes widened, your jaw slack, you were stunned. “You don’t have to tell me, just curious. You suit each ot-” You put your hand on his mouth, “Edward Munson you finish that sentence and I will projectile vomit.”

He looked concerned, worried you were about to pull a whitey. “Shit we should get you home.”

“No! I’m fine it’s just,” you laughed, “Eddie, Steve’s my cousin.”

He was now the stunned one, “What?”

“He’s my cousin.”

“But your … your last names.”

“Our moms are sisters,” you explained.

“But I thought, he’s so protective of you, and you’re always wearing your clothes.”

“He nags me like a big brother. He’s only a few months older than me, but god he’s annoying.”

Eddie couldn’t believe it. You were cousins. Which made so much sense. So much fucking sense.

You were laughing, “Have I lost you?”

“W-what no! I’m right here.”

“Can I ask you a question now?”

“Shoot.”

“Why did you ask me if I’m dating him?”

“Oh I um … you know. Curious friend.”

“Mhm, sure. Well,” you began to walk back towards the others, “Just in case your curiosity gets the better of you, I should probably just tell you,

“I like you too. I think we should go on a date.” Eddie looked at you in awe.

“How did you know?”

“Kinda obvious. I was waiting for you to ask me out, been dropping hints all the time. It really went over your head.”

You smiled at him. “You dropped hints?”

“All the time. Always asking to hang out, linking arms, laughing so loud at all your jokes, calling you, baking for you, coming to see your band. The list goes on. I like you Eddie.”

“I like you too.”

“I know,” you laughed.

“Take off the jacket.”

“What?”

“The jacket. Take it off.”

You did as he said, pulling off the blue material. Goosebumps instantly covering your skin. It was soon disturbed as Eddie put his leather jacket over your shoulders.

“Suits you,” he smiled, you matched it.

“It’s cosy.” It smelt like him, weed and his woody aftershave. “I’m glad you like it.”

“I hope you know you’re not having it back.”

“That’s fine by me. You look pretty in it.” You cheeks flushed at that, “Thanks Eds. So umm we should get back to the others.”

“Sure, but first, I need to do something.”

Before you had time to ask what he had cupped your cheeks in his ring decorated hands. Connecting your lips to his own. They were soft against yours, you couldn’t stop the grin forming on your face.

Kissing him back you deepened it, pulling him closer by his curls, making his groan slightly. Tongues dancing and bodies on one another, you didn’t hear the twig crack behind you.

“My eyes! Oh my god my fucking eyes!” You heard a shout, breaking away from Eddie. Steve was rubbing his face, doubled over. “Here I was thinking you were in danger but no you’re sucking face!”

“Oh my god Steve shut up,” dropping your face into Eddies chest in embarrassment, he hugged you and chuckled into your hair. “No! I’ve just seen my baby cousin, BABY cousin with a tongue down her throat. Gross!”

“Sorry Harrington, we’ll keep it PG around you.”

“You better Munson,” he said walking away from the pair of you. Breaking into laughter, Eddie brushed hair out of your face.

“Well he’s gone now so,” he leaned back down to kiss you. “Nope! Nope nope nope,” Steve ran back, grabbing your wrist and pulling you away from Eddie, taking his jacket back too.

The curly haired boy cackled as he heard your whining as Steve dragged you, and his own complaints at how gross you were. Following behind, grin on his face, this may have been one of the best nights of his life.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Thank you so much for reading! Please leave any requests 🤍

[hyuuukais]

⋆.˚𖦹°‧✮‧°𖦹˚.⋆ ERROR 404

pairing ~ yang jeongin x fem reader

synopsis ~ y/n starts getting messages from an unknown number after buying a used phone for cheap. as she finds out more about the boy she's talking to, it turns out there's much more to this than a wrong number --- he died, and she's talking to his spirit, yet he has no idea what happened to him. will y/n have what it takes to solve the mystery of his death? or will the boy's spirit remained trapped in his phone?

warnings ~ gen, blood/injuries

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CH 3 ~ LAKE HAVEN (2.1k)

The bell by the door rings, signaling somebody entering the store and you put your phone down. An elderly lady is walking around looking at the different displays you have out to buy, most of which were created out of boredom between client orders. She's looking at a bouquet of pink and purple roses wrapped tightly in a white lace. You made that two days ago for a baby shower but made one too many, putting the extra out this morning after the order was picked up. The woman picks up the bouquet and smiles wide, looking up at you from where she's standing away from the counter.

"These are beautiful," she says, her voice frail.

"Thank you," you say, standing up straight. Compliments always give you a boost of confidence. "Are you looking for anything in particular?"

"Flowers for my daughter's wedding, it's tomorrow and her florist fell through," she shakes her head, bringing the flowers to the front. "Oh, she's been waiting for this day ever since she was a little girl. I'm glad I get to see her married before... well, she's my last grandchild to be wed, you see."

"Exciting! You must be a pretty great grandmother coming here to get her new flowers," you smile. "Normally we don't do this, but I can make a personal arrangement if you'd like and have it done to be picked up by tonight-"

"No, no, dear," she declines. "These will be just perfect."

They're a bit wilted at the edges, but you don't argue with her. Instead, you ring up the price and let her pay. When her card payment doesn't go through for the third time, you offer to pay for her.

"I don't know why it's not working," she sighs. "Can you read the date for me? It shouldn't expire for another month..."

"Of course," you take the card from her and your face pales. "U-um, ma'am, this has been expired for four years."

"Four years?" The woman shakes her head. "That's... that's..."

When you look up from the card, you barely hold in a gasp at the change in the woman's appearance. The entire right side of her face is skeletal, and the flesh still on her bones is rotted and sunken in. She reaches out with a shaky hand and takes her card back from you, your fingers brushing and you're temporarily blinded. You find yourself looking up at her from behind the counter, your vision blurry. When did you hit the floor?

"Oh, dear," the woman joins you behind the counter, a hand snaking up your neck and jaw. "I-I never saw my granddaughter's wedding. What a shame..."

A wave of dizziness hits you, your sight blurring as her other hand comes up onto the other side of your face. Her hands travel up and into your hair, smoothing it down and away from your face. The way she's touching you is gentle, but dangerous. You can feel your heartbeat slowing and your breaths getting lighter and lighter the longer her skin is making contact with yours. Eyelids fluttering shut, you let the woman take your head into her lap, shushing you, reassuring you maybe, but you can't make out her words any longer. Her ghostly touch feels more solid by the second.

Right as you're about to let sleep take you, she's being ripped off of you and your head hits the ground, but it doesn't register. You hear shouting, open your eyes to see two shapes arguing, one keeping the other away from your body. Slowly, you can feel yourself regaining enough strength to sit up against the wall. Placing your head in your hands, you groan at the sharp pain radiating from your temples to the back of your skull.

"Are you okay?" You recognize Jeongin's voice. "Y/n, answer me."

"S-sure," you exhale, rubbing your eyes. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay. What the fuck was that?"

"Like I said, other spirits are catching on, even ones who dont know they're dead yet," Jeongin begins to explain. "Now that they know you can communicate with us, they're not going to stop trying to get to you."

"But why?" You shake your head.

"Energy- they want it, crave it," he sits with his back against the counter across from you. "Didn't you feel it?"

"Is that what that was?" He nods. "Oh... what about you?"

"Some of us are less desperate. Some just want to finish what they're here for, whatever that may be." He shrugs. "Enough about that. Have you learned anything else?" When you don't answer, he sighs. "You literally have one job."

Your head jumps up at this and you're about to tell him your one job is the flower shop, not helping him, but you see he's looking away from you trying not to laugh. Unable to hold back, a small giggle leaves your lips and his eyes find yours. Soon, you're both laughing and you don't even notice the way your headache has disappeared. All you can focus on is the sound of him, the way his eyes turn into crescent moons as his smile grows wider and wider. If he weren't dead, you'd take this opportunity to ask him out. What?

"I'll have you know I did try contacting a private investigator, but he hasn't been much help," you admit and show him the texts.

"He seems enthusiastic about this," Jeongin teases and you roll your eyes. "I might have something, not sure if it's helpful yet though. There's this lake outside of the city-"

"Lake Haven?" You ask and he nods, opening his mouth. "I used to go there all the time as a kid! I haven't been back in years."

"Eager to go back at all?" He asks. "Cause I think there's something out there, but like everything else, it's blank. It might be similar to the playground. Going there might unlock something?"

"It's worth a shot," you say with a shrug.

An hour goes by and you're pulling into a narrow dirt road leading to a slew of private cottages. Jeongin points to one that looks as dead as him, and you turn into the driveway. It's an older house with a sign on the door indicating it's closed for upcoming renovations, but there don't seem to be any workers at the moment. Hesitantly, you open your car door and make your way to the front of the house.

It's small and simple compared to the rest of the cottages, dust greeting you as you open the creaky door. Jeongin moves past you and takes in your surroundings, taking a deep breath and you watch his shoulders untense. If he's remembering anything already, he's not sharing, but watching him tells you enough. There's a direct pathway to glass double doors on the other side and he stops, fingers trailing over the kitchen island next to him. When his hand stops, you notice a chunk of faux marble missing from the edge. Jeongin's smile falters slightly, removing his hand and examining the broken island.

"I remember this- this is from a party Hyunjin threw here without his dad knowing," Jeongin places a hand on each side of the marble and closes his eyes, hanging his head between his arms. "Stupid."

"Is that why we're here?" You ask, hand hovering above his shoulder. Before you can touch him, he moves away.

"No," Jeongin opens the back door. "No, it's not. Out here, ladies first."

You roll your eyes and suppress a smile as you walk through the exit. The doors open up to a small yard with a path leading down to the shore, a wooden dock waiting at the end with a dirty boat for fishing. Two rods are sitting on the seat with a tackle box by the nose, a splash of what looks like red paint on the top handle. There are a few chairs folded up and leaning against the porch you just walked off of, Jeongin grabbing two of them for you to sit on.

Quiet; it's quiet out here at the lake. You don't recognize this part and assume you must have stayed on the other side. This area is more secluded, trees and bushes lining the edges of the water with only small rocky shores peaking out for people to park their boats and get in the water. A bird sings somewhere to your far left, and as you turn your head you catch a glimpse of a boy standing on the bottom step of the porch, causing you to jump. Fists clenching with anxiety, you recognize the blonde boy- Hyunjin. He's got orange swim shorts on and a loose white tank top, dark roots starting to show on his scalp. His expression is hard to read, somehow blank and full of emotion, but it quickly changes as another boy comes bounding down the steps and down the dock, a smile that reaches his eyes forming.

Hyunjin is jogging down the sandy path between wooden structures, grabbing the wrist of the other boy who you see is Jeongin. Time has passed since the last memory; they're almost fully grown here, probably older teenagers. Jeongin is pulling his wrist away, but he's laughing, and so is Hyunjin as he forces the boy closer to him. He's locked his arms around Jeongin tightly, swaying them side to side as the younger one tries to escape his grip. You catch a glimpse of the mischievous look on Jeongin's face right before he throws them both over the edge of the dock and into the water, successfully breaking away from his captor.

"This is the day I got my first car," present-day Jeongin leans over to whisper in your ear, a small shiver going down your spine. "I wasn't supposed to drive this far, but Hyunjin suggested coming out here to celebrate since it would be empty this time of year. The water-"

"Jeongin!" Hyunjin screams, jumping back onto the dock. "It's freezing!"

"-was very cold." You laugh as Jeongin finishes his sentence with a breathy laugh to match yours.

"Come back or I'll pull you back in!" Younger Jeongin shouts, moving to float on his back.

"You wouldn't dare."

"I wouldn't sound so sure about that," Jeongin floats closer to the dock, hand outstretched to wrap slender fingers around Hyunjin's ankle. "Test me."

Hyunjin replies by kicking water at him, which turns out to be a huge mistake. No hesitation, he's not so gently yanked into the lake, coming up with a gasp. After a moment of silence and a look of pure betrayal on Hyunjin's face, Jeongin splashes him again. This time, Hyunjin is prepared and swims out of the way. They continue to splash and fight and swim, laughter bubbling up through the air, and you find yourself unable to keep the smile off your face as you watch this moment of happiness between friends.

Looking over at Jeongin, you see a sad smile on his face. His eyes are focused on the two of them, and you can't help but wonder what's going on in his head. He must miss Hyunjin like crazy, and Hyunjin must miss him as well.

"We could tell him," you say softly, Jeongin's attention turning to you.

Up close, you notice details you haven't before; the sharpness of his cheekbones, his plump lips. He's very beautiful, he would have killed it in the world of acting.

"Tell him what? That you're talking to his dead best friend?" Jeongin shakes his head. "No way. You're out of your mind."

"Yeah but-" you cut yourself off.

Back out in the water, the boys are gone, but there's someone out there. It's hard to see from this distance, but you think you can see a man standing upright in a boat holding something sharp in his hand. You can feel Jeongin tense beside you, and you're not feeling any more comfortable. The man holds the object up to his throat, making eye contact with you the whole time as he slides it across his skin, red washing down under his shirt. You can't tear your eyes away as he collapses over the edge, disappearing under the water. The boat floats eerily by itself, a weird feeling washing over you.

"Who was that?" You ask, finally pulling your eyes back to Jeongin. "He seemed... like he knew us."

"I don't know," Jeongin replies.

You open your mouth, but nothing comes out, no ideas of who it could be. All you knew is that he was a ghost too, showing you how he died. There's a buzz in your pocket-

notes ~ who was that man 👀

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@dollschan @defnotfertilizedtoesw @thisisnotjacinta @kayleigh-28 @kayleefriedchicken

@lailac13 @linocvp1d @ilov3jeong1n @mooseung

reply or send an ask to be added (18+)^^^ green means i can't tag you

[melancholysway]

Serendipity (2007!Raphael x Fem!Reader) 10

Chapter X: Home

I can cry yall I'm so sad this is ending LMAO

--------

"Jesus Mikey, in my ear?!" The red-banded turtle scolds his little brother for yelling (once again) about the road trip to Casey's grandmother's farmhouse.

This was a sacred trip, filled with family bonding and alone time together. It was a trip of serenity and calmness that was unmatched by living in the city. Upstate New York was indeed an experience to remember. Northampton was a quiet place, with the population barely reaching 2,500 citizens. So, yeah, the turtles (and Splinter) loved going up there. There were no sewers, Purple Dragons, or Foot Ninjas. They were able to…exist. 

You were lucky enough to be tagging along; you were on spring break, and you needed this well-deserved week-long vacation. You weren't sure what the guys usually did when they went upstate, but it had to be relaxing. 

"What are we doing first, dud- ow!" Mikey asks from the backseat, earning another glare and smack from his older brother.

"I mean," Leo begins, "Get settled in, the usual. Relax, swim-" "Train." Master Splinter interrupts, earning a groan from Mikey.

"Sensei! It's vacation!" 

"Very true; however, the Foot will not take what you kids call a 'vacay,' correct?" 

Okay, so train. How…exciting. How fun to train…on your whole free week of no ninja-ing.  

"Woo-hoo." Donnie cheers flatly.

"Yay." Raph follows suit.

Leo can hear his younger brothers' fake enthusiasm, and he can't help but chuckle.

"Can't wait ta train on my week off, Masta Splintah," Raph says, earning a snicker from Donnie.

The drive was a good one. It was your first time in the ShellRaiser, and Donnie spent half an hour giving you a tour and showing you all the remarkable modifications and weapons he attached to it. You were driving around in a military-grade vehicle. 

Let's move on to more exciting matters, like your relationship. 

It was great. What more could you ask for? You got the turtle (who you didn't know was a turtle in the beginning) that you wanted. 

So it's no surprise that Raph asked if you wanted to come on this trip. Besides, he knew you needed a break. It also wasn't a surprise that his brothers, especially Mikey, were excited for you to join. 

---

"Dudette! We can finally hang out outdoors in the daylight! I can, like…get a tan!" Mikey almost jumped out of his shell when he heard the news. After a quick thought, you were in. You'd already planned on Jade checking up on Stella that week and leaving her a few 20s for the deed (though she strongly disagreed with you paying her, seeing Stella was enough payment.) 

So it was settled: You would be going for an entire week. Unsure of what to pack, you jumped off what April told you she usually brings on the trip: the basics: clothes, toiletries, a first-aid kit just in case, and herself (obviously).

Mikey was going to be attempting to get a tan. So, you had something to look forward to seeing the result of. 

---

Due to the long trip, you utilized Raph's shoulder and slept for the last part of the ride. It wasn't until you felt a flick on your nose that awoke you that you had made it to the farmhouse. 

"Ya still snore like a grown-ass man." Raph jokes, only for you to protest that you don't snore again. But you may never know for sure. 

Looking through the window on your right, you can see the beautiful ivory house with at least eight rooms and three floors. It seems incredibly well-kept, with no visible signs of wear or tear. Casey's relatives enjoyed this house and spent much time ensuring it was in excellent condition. 

You can see the excitement in all of the turtle's eyes and Master Splinter's. This must be their most anticipated event during the springtime. As you get closer to the driveway of the house, you can see a large lake in the distance, along with a dense forest surrounding the property that seems miles deep. Don't tell Casey to freak him out, but this would be a great Fallout location. 

You could go into great detail about everything you guys did together, but that would take forever. 

To make the long story short, it was indeed an unforgettable time. While you already felt close with the rest of the Hamato brothers, you were one big family by the end. 

Now, Master Splinter doesn't use the word "family" lightly. Family has such a deep meaning for him. It took April and Casey a while to be considered family. However, they were so in debt to the turtles from all the times they saved them that they owed them nothing but trust and loyalty. When Splinter recognized this, he accepted them into their home and family. 

From watching you interact with his sons and having a caring attitude toward them, Splinter accepted you into the family. You were a Hamato. Err, figuratively, not literally. His number one reason is the way Raphael was when he came around you. He watched how his most temperamental son became caring and loving toward someone in a romantic way. He had told you over a cup of tea that you gave him hope for Raph's brothers. That in this unbelievable world, there was a chance there would be someone for each of them. 

Speaking of Raph, a week-long getaway was just what the two of you needed to get closer to each other. When you all began the road trip, Raphael went to work, mentally planning things for you both to do outside (ooh, romantic~).

When you weren't with the entire crew, you were with your boyfriend- just how you and Raph liked it. Don't get me wrong- Raphael loves his alone time, but this trip allowed him to do things he usually wouldn't get to do with you in the city. The biggest one is going outside in the daylight. 

And, of course, there were plenty of times you two were intimate. And boy were those moments especially unforgettable. Raphael had this unspoken sexiness to himself and the way he presented that caused your brain to produce the nastiest thoughts- and when you let him know what you were thinking, he would give you that lustful smirk he always does before picking you up to set you down on the bed- effortlessly managing to close the door and lock it behind you two in the process. 

~

The whole trip had been a wonderful experience. If you were being honest, you didn't want it to end. But sadly, it had to. The city needed protecting, and you had to go back to work. It was no surprise that saying goodbye to the home you'd become accustomed to for the past 7 days was hard; it was a haven. Before leaving, you silently waved at each piece of rustic vintage furniture.

~

Moving on to the present time, you couldn't be happier now. After the week at the farmhouse, you were ready for the best part about Spring: The fiery Aries zodiac season. It is also known as Raph's birthday season.

Since so much time has passed since Leo's return, and since Raphael put away his Nightwatcher persona, things have returned to normal. 

The question was: would it last?

You wouldn't be in college forever, and your parents wouldn't be renting that apartment you lived in forever. College was quickly coming to a close, and you would be finishing up your undergraduate degree soon.

You also had it made. You had your own space and cat—you get the idea. You felt ready to spread your wings and leave the nest your parents crafted for you, unbothered by what may come soon. The present was just so beautiful and full of wonderful experiences that the future's problems were minuscule. You'll find a career and stable income with time.

As melancholy as it may sound, you couldn't return to your life before Raphael. You couldn't imagine what it would be like after graduation; would you stay or return home? Your parents would only pay your rent for a while, mainly because you would finish your undergraduate degree. 

After much time and consideration, you and your parents came to one conclusion. One that you all could agree on. 

Once this agreement was settled, you thought of ways to tell the turtle in red. You knew that Raphael also thought about you leaving. He had this small doubt in the back of his head that you would go back home, never to be seen again. However, you did not intend to leave him or the relationship you two had built.

As Raphael's birthday came closer and closer, you got all your ducks in a row. Everything was finalized, and there wasn't any turning back. But you didn't want to turn back. You weren't going to turn back. Ever.

By the time his birthday rolled around, you were ready.

~

"Hellooo~!" You sing as you enter the turtle's home. You're first greeted by Mikey, who is cooking in the kitchen. Mikey turns to face you with a "kiss the chef" apron on. You can't help but giggle.

"Hey, dudette!" Mikey greets. "Whatcha got there?" 

"It's Raph's surprise birthday cake." You grin. You make yourself comfortable, lowering the white box to take off your black vest. Then, placing it along with your purse on the coat hanger adjacent to the kitchen, you turn the cake around to show Mikey.

"Red velvet?" he muses. You nod. You had the baker write "Happy Birthday Raph" in red icing, and the rim and top of the cake were also decorated with red icing. You knew Raph would enjoy a simple cake.

"With cream cheese frosting?" A new voice enters the conversation. You turn around, nervous to see if your surprise has been ruined. Luckily, it was only Leonardo.

"Don't worry, Raph's not here right now. He's with Casey at their apartment; he should return in an hour." Leo reassures you, noticing the anxious look on your face. Feeling relieved, you put your guard down for now. 

"Yes, and shell yes! I took a trip down to Times Square at this popular bakery to get it. I told them not to make it too sweet. It's the best bakery around!" You say. Mikey makes some room in the fridge for you to place it inside. 

"He's gonna love it," Leo smiles, acknowledging your efforts. The trip to Times Square is not for the weak. Especially during the spring. "Might not say it, but it'll show when he cuts himself a piece." 

"Dudette, I saved a lot from my Cowabunga Carl business! I got him a new punching bag!" Raphael always complained that the punching bag in the dojo was getting weaker, and you would always tell him to go easy on the poor thing. 

"Eh, they're meant ta be punched." He would say, "But still, I mean, who the shell would make something so…" and he would complain about the fabric being cheap, etcetera, etcetera. You get the idea. 

"What about you, Leo?" You ask. The brown-eyed turtle grins before pulling out an elongated brown case. Opening it up, you see six silver shurikens propped up by a felt. Engraved on top of the inside was the phrase, "Para mi familia." It looked carved by hand.

"I was able to get these during my time in South America. I brought back a ton of trinkets and items, but I made sure to keep these safe. I wanted to give them to Raph, and now is a great time to do that, don't you think?" Leo says. He also says he added the wording on the inside; rather than being in Japanese, he thought it would be nice to write it in Spanish- a language he had always been interested in learning.

"Leo…these are beautiful." You comment. Leo places the box on the dining table while you take a walk to see what the new punching bag looks like. 

Peering into the dojo, you see Splinter meditating. Across the dojo are the weights and an obvious new addition to the equipment. It's a large black bag hanging from a holster. It appears to be nailed to the floorboard. It's clearly bigger than the last bag Raphael was using, and this one also had a big red bow wrapped around it. 

Not wanting to interrupt Splinter's meditation, you quietly step away and walk toward Donnie's lab (or nerd cave, as Raph has named it).

"Knock knock." You say to the purple-banded turtle hunched over something. From what you can see, it appears to be Raph's bike. Donnie stands up and stretches, "Hey, Y/n! Wanna see what I got Raph?" You nod, and Donnie steps away from his current project.

"Ta-da!" He reveals Raph's baby, his prized possession: Roxanne.

"Aw, Donnie…" You say as you walk toward Roxy. Only this time, Roxanne had some new upgrades. Her ruby red paint was beautiful and scratch-free, the coating adding shine. Her tires looked brand spanking new, as well. Her tires had some more grooves, probably for when Raphael goes a little crazy on the streets with Casey or you.

"I hope he likes it. I think this bike needed some TLC." Donnie says.

"He'll love it," you say. You loved how all the brothers went out of their way for Raphael's birthday. Seeing how they all chipped in to get him gifts was adorable. 

It might put yours to shame.

"What'd you get him, Y/n?" Donny asks, grabbing a towel from the table to wipe his sweat.

“Compared to you guys…it’s not much…” You say. Donnie sighs, and he puts a supportive hand on your shoulder. He looks down at you and smiles.

"Comparison is the thief of joy, you know."

"Thank you, human fortune cookie." You joke.

"Donatello is right, Y/n." A new voice emerges from the doorway. Turning around, you see Master Splinter. His short figure was wrapped up in his red robe. 

"I'm sure my son will appreciate anything you get him. Although he might not say it, he will show it." Splinter's words help you feel better about your gift. As you bow, you gather Mikey and Leo to share the gift you got for the red terrapin.

"Are you kidding?" Leonardo blurts out, and your facial expression turns into shock. Is it that bad?

"He's going to wanna marry you after you give it to him." The rest of the family shares a laugh together, and you now have a newfound confidence in your surprise gift for Raphael. 

With the validation from Raph's brothers and sensei, you couldn't wait to give it to him.

~

"Are you one? Are you two? Are you-" "That ain't part of the song, Mikey." Raph grumbles as he cuts himself a hefty piece of red velvet cake, his favorite. He didn't have a sweet tooth, and after taking his first bite, he thought it was perfect. It wasn't too sweet, just the way he liked it.

He deserved this after enduring "Happy Birthday" surrounded by family, friends, and his girlfriend. He felt so awkward when people sang Happy Birthday to him that he kind of just sat there waiting to blow out the candles. He wasn't about to sit here and wait until Mikey counted from one all the way to his new age.

You watched as the gift-giving commenced.

Master Splinter had given Raphael a new pair of practice sai for when he sparred. He needed another pair since his old one had a few hundred miles on it, and the wear and tear was obvious. 

April got Raph a brand-new hammock for his room. She remembered him saying he wondered if they had bigger ones that held two people because he wanted to share them with you.

Casey gave Raph a brown bag. Jones said it was some sparkling cider. However, the way his hand gripped the head of the bottle and handed it to Raph with a wink while April rolled her eyes, you knew it had to be Casamigos or Hennesy—both being Raph's favorites. 

Master Splinter decides to let it slide and save the "drink responsibly" lecture for after the celebration.

Mikey went next and told Raph to look in the dojo. He raised an eyebrow at him suspiciously. After a trip to the dojo, he returns and gives his baby brother a noogie. 

"...appreciate it, lil bro."

Next went Leo, and once Raph opened the box, his amber eyes looked admirably at the shurikens inside.

"What's it say?" He asks as he inspects the engraving inside of the box.

"For my family."

"Ey, thanks, Fearless." Leonardo and Raphael give each other a "bro hug," as they would call it. Master Splinter smiles; seeing his two eldest sons get along and embrace each other warms his heart.

Next was Donnie, and everyone went to the garage. Raph's bike was covered with a cloth, waiting to be unveiled. 

"I thought your bike needed some shine." The tech wiz smirks. Donatello quickly takes the cloth off to reveal Roxy. She's as beautiful as you remember her being an hour ago.

Raphael's eyes went wide as he walked around his motorcycle to examine its new appearance. 

"Don, ya amaze me- ya know dat?" Raphael's hands grip the handlebars, and then he uses his fingers to feel the ridges on the new tires. He couldn't wait to feel how she drove.

"I know," the turtle in purple says matter of factly.

You walk toward Raph and grip his bicep, "I didn't forget about yours; it's at my place," You wink and kiss his cheek only to hear an "aww!" from Mikey, followed by a "Can it!" from Raph. 

Once you all made your way back to the living room, you began putting everything away. April and Casey said their goodbyes and headed back to the surface to return home, and you were preparing to leave with Raphael.

"I won't keep him long, guys. I'll see you all soon, okay?" You give warm hugs to Raphael's brothers and sensei (you loved how his fuzz tickled your skin.)

"Good luck and congratulations, Miss Y/n." Raphael's eyes narrow at his father's comment, wondering what you had up your sleeve. Splinter retreats to the kitchen to fix himself and Leo some tea, and Donnie goes into his lab, taking Mikey with him since he needs a lab assistant.

~

"Ya ain't gonna kidnap me are ya?" Raphael jokes, opening up your bedroom window. He steps in first, then takes your hand and helps you inside. 

"If I could, I would." You muse, "I'd put you in my pocket and take you out whenever I needed a bear hug, Big Red." 

"I ain't fittin' in that tiny pocket o' yers, princess." Raph smirks.

You roll your eyes playfully as you take Raph's left hand and lead him into your living room. His mind runs through all his ideas of what else you've gotten him. If he was being honest, the cake was enough- you got it made just the way he likes it- which, by the way- he wasn't sure how you did that until he thought back to a year or two back when Mikey was bringing cake slices home from birthday parties.

Mikey would always try to get a piece of red velvet cake, and Raphael would always scrape away the extra frosting because it was just too sweet for him. You must've asked his brothers about his semi-sweet tooth for cake. That alone was a thoughtful gift in itself.

As you walk toward the couch, you two are greeted by Stella as she brushes against your legs as a greeting. She mews in excitement that you're back and the familiar mutant is too. She couldn't wait to perch on his shoulder and get her chin scratched. 

Sitting on the couch together, Raphael notices the red folder on the coffee table in front of him. He snakes his arm around your shoulders to pull you close. Resting your head on his shoulder, you also look at the folder you placed there strategically to catch the turtle's attention.

For Raphael

"Go ahead, open it, " you say as you notice Raph's attention on the file, his mind wandering to what it could be.

He grabs the red folder, opening it with one hand while the other stays wrapped around your frame. Soon, it reveals two pockets: the left one empty and the right one containing a single sheet of paper that appears to be some sort of contract.

After taking the paper, Raphael skims it, rereading the phrase in bold at the top of the page:

RESIDENTIAL LEASE AGREEMENT

He begins to reread it, only this time word for word. Are his eyes deceiving him? Is he really reading what he thinks he's reading? 

Were you…

Were you really…

"I saved enough to put the apartment in my name—my parents agreed to be cosigners."

"So that means…" Raphael reads over the lease again, only this time, he sees your name signed at the bottom. 

"It means I'm staying here. For good. Remember when I said you can't get rid of me easil- mmph!" Raphael shuts you up with a kiss. You drop what's in your hand and feel as time seems to stretch during this moment. 

Raphael deepens the kiss by leaning into you, his calloused hand sliding down from your hair to the back of your neck. Your free hands cup his cheeks, tilting your head and commencing a French kiss. Your tongues dance to the familiar song they always did when you shared a romantic and steamy kiss. 

You snap back to reality when you realize you have one last surprise for the red-clad turtle. 

"Hey," you pull away, gasping softly for air. I still have one more thing to give you."

"One more? Babe, ya didn't have to." Kissing your forehead as his hands rest on your hips, you can't help but look up at your boyfriend with a grin, your laugh lines around your lips growing heavier. 

"Ya stayin fa good, that's all I need" You lightly push Raphael's plastron away from you to grab the other part of his gift. He watches your figure move around your apartment living room, going toward the kitchen table and returning with your hands behind you.

You give your lover a mischievous look, and as you return to him, you reveal what you're hiding 

behind your back.

"Open it," You say, placing a small black box in his large hands. Raphael opens it slowly, unsure what tricks you might have up your sleeve. 

Well, he wasn't sure if this was a trick at all. As his golden eyes scan the shiny object inside, he isn't sure what it's for, although he has a few ideas. 

Not wanting to get ahead of himself, he asks for some clarification. "What's it for?" He asks, cocking a brow at you. 

"Let me show you," taking the small gift from his hands, you stand up from the couch and walk toward your front door to exit. Locking the door behind you, you wait a few seconds before unlocking the door and re-entering your apartment. When you come back in, Raphael is still where you left him. Only now, he has a smirk on his face. 

"Now I know what you're about to say," 

Before he can object, you telepathically read his mind. 

"And don't worry, it works for the window, too." You return the gift to the amber-eyed turtle, who quickly catches it.

He decides to inspect it again before putting it back in its spot. He brushes his green thumb over the metal, feeling all its rough edges. His calloused hands take turns fiddling with it, almost as if Raph is trying to see if he is dreaming.

"You have a home on the surface, too." Raphael's flat lips curl into a small smile. However, you were shocked by what you were seeing. 

Raphael was grinning.

Smiling right back at him with your toothy grin, he stands up, embracing you in a tight hug. You both stand like this in silence. Neither of you said a word for what felt like forever. It isn't until Raphael breaks this silence between the two of you. He brushes a finger across your cheek and then puts it under your chin. Soon enough, your eyes met- and his amber ones seemed to twinkle as he spoke.

"Thanks… fa this. Fa everythin’." 

The hoarseness in his voice indicated that he was almost at a loss for words. Raphael was new to this. He wasn't used to someone other than his brothers or Splinter doing nice things for him. He wasn't used to anyone caring as much as you did. 

Unlike Leo when he went to South America for training, you took much time and thought into how you could continue to include him in your day-to-day life. And unlike Sabrina, you weren't going to just up and leave. You wouldn't go away and lose all contact with him, either. You wanted to include him as much as possible.

You were so much different than Sabrina. In fact, you were nothing like her. Raphael knew that.

This small act of selflessness not only reflected how much you cared about him but also how much you wanted to be with him. He knew that you didn't care about his appearance, where he lived, or who—or what—he was living with. You loved and embraced all the baggage he came with. 

Raphael isn't good with saying "thank you" or verbally expressing his gratitude, and this was one of the rare times he did so.  

Words didn't need to describe the way Raphael felt about you. He had no issue with showing it.  

It might've been just a key, but this meant more to him than you could imagine. It meant you were here to stay. You weren't going anywhere, and that thought caused Raphael's stomach to churn with significant anxiousness for what was to come in the future. Not in a million years did he expect to be where he is right now. So as he places his lips on yours to share yet another romantic kiss, he can’t help but smile into it. His kisses were always good, but this one was different. This one had a lot of emotions behind it. He deepens the kiss, picking you up and letting you wrap your legs around his waist. As you giggle into the kiss, he leans into it some more, exerting all of the passion and love he has for you.

While Raphael had a place to call home in the sewers, he now had someone he could call home as well. 

For the first time in all his years of living, he loved being a turtle. 

--------------------------FIN-------------------------------------------

PREVIOUS CHAPTER: HERE

CHAPTER LIST: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 9.5 10 (current) // Taglist: @bee-1n-space @ducky-died-inside @xnorthstar3x @miss-andromeda Masterlist D I S C O R D

Listen to the Serendipity playlist linked below!

[scotianostra]

On August 15th 1771 Sir Walter Scott the poet and novelist was born in Edinburgh.

Walter survived polio as a toddler which left him with a limp and he used a cane the rest of his life. He was the first author to have international fame in his lifetime and is credited with inventing the historical novel.

Scott used the great storytelling tradition of the Highlands to help bring back the Scottish identity that had been cruelly crushed by the British. His Waverly novels were very popular in Europe and America starting Romanticism and influencing American writers such as Thoreau and Twain.

As well as popularising the historical novel, his books more or less invented tourism in Scotland. A family holiday to Loch Katrine inspired Scott to write the epic narrative poem The Lady of the Lake; a romantic, stirring tale of secret identity, love and loss. It was a publishing phenomenon and readers flocked to see the landscape Scott had described. Thus when travel entrepreneurs such as Thomas Cook began selling packaged railroad tours in the 1840s, Scotland was one of the most popular destinations. Victorians who had grown up on Scott’s Waverley novels, and now technology made it possible to reach these areas

Scott was a prolific writer, publishing two novels a year. Readers around the globe devoured his tales of historic Scotland and its noble, heroic people.

Composers in particular found inspiration in his work, among them Gaetano Donizetti who was inspired to write the tragic opera Lucia del Lammermoor based on Scott’s novel The Bride of Lammermoor.  Franz Schubert was similarly moved, setting text from The Lady of the Lake to music to create his much-loved work Ave Maria.

When King George IIII visited Edinburgh in 1822 Scott was put in charge of the festivities. This was the first time a reigning monarch had made it north of the border in over 200 years and Scott masterminded a spectacular Scottish show in his honour.

He created a romantic - and, some argued, and still do argue, an unrealistic - vision of the Highlands on the streets of the capital with parades, gatherings of clans and swathes of tartan on display. King George himself lapped up this romantic symbolism, dressing in a kilt for the occasion and, like a 19th century influencer, prompting others to wear it too. It marked a turning point in the way the world saw Scotland, and the return of tartan to fashionable society following a ban enforced by the government in the aftermath of the Jacobite rebellion.

Scott’s influence in society allowed him to lobby on causes he held dear.Sir Walter Scott got involved in a number of political issues. Particularly, his interested in issues where the government was trying to impose things on Scotland. For example, the Bank of England wanted to withdraw the right of Scottish banks to print bank notes, it's testement to the man that he features on bank notes not just today, but going back to the days of smaller nbanks, like the Linen Bank in Scotland, The Bank of Scotland range of notes still carry his portrait. Scott He stirred up such a furore that the government backed down, so you have him to thank that your not carrying English bank notes around with you, imagine a life where we Scots couldn't have a good old moan about businesses in England refusing to take our money as payment!

Scott’s popularity as a poet was cemented in 1813 when he was given the opportunity to become Poet Laureate. However, he declined and Robert Southey accepted the position instead.

Having suffered a stroke in 1831, which resulted in apoplectic paralysis, his health continued to fail and Scott died on 21st September 1832 at Abbotsford, I hope to read and post more about Sir Walter Scott in just over a months time.

[lostlegendaerie]

Fuck it! US Private Student Loans Guide!

DISCLAIMER: while I have worked in private loans specifically for five+ years, this isn't ‘financial’ advice and is just a heavily summarized guide on how to navigate them. Yes, these loans suck, but complain to your legislators not me. I’m just trying to help you know what you’re doing. Additional info for each section is under the cut!

1) Who are you and who are all the companies constantly running around with my money?

I work in loan SERVICING, which is basically the billing department. If you’ve got a new company asking you for money, it's probably a new servicer and your debt is still owned by the bank. We enforce the terms in the promissory note, the document you sign telling the bank “yeah I'll play by your rules if you give me the money.” If your loan defaults, you’ll get contacted by a third (fourth?) party, but how that works is beyond my wheelhouse. The bank or your servicer should be able to confirm what happens in case of default.

2) What am I looking for in a ‘good’ loan?

Generally, you’re going to want SIMPLE instead of compound interest, a FIXED RATE opposed to a variable one, and you’ll want to go for FULL DEFERMENT while in school and make manual payments when you can. Also ask up front about stuff like if disability forgiveness or co-signer release (getting your parents off it) is offered.

3) This loan sucks! How do I make it better?

Student loans are NOTORIOUSLY hard to get out of, unfortunately. If the interest rate/payment relief options suck, you can try to REFINANCE where you take out a new loan to pay off the old one. This gives you a new promissory note, interest rate, and terms/conditions. If you’re trying to erase the debt entirely, ask for the promissory note (if they can't provide a copy, we have to forgive the debt. I've only seen this happen ONCE.) or try to go through social security disability.

DO NOT USE FREEDOM DEBT RELIEF OR OTHER SERVICES. DO NOT. THEY ARE SCAMS.

More in depth information for each point!

1) Lenders and Servicers

The lender is the person who provides the funds in the debt - the bank who pays the school or the hospital or the home contractor fixing your sink. The servicer is the company that is your point of contact when you need to make payments, ask for payment relief, or otherwise manage the loan that exists. Think of us as the mechanic (we keep the car running) where the bank is the manufacturer (they make the car). Some different servicers are SoFi, Zuntafi, Great Lakes, Nelnet and Firstmark Services; their names will be on the billing statements. Some different banks are Citizens, US Bank, NorthStar; their names will be on the promissory note and the disclosures.

Sometimes banks do sell the debt, however! A couple years ago Wells Fargo sold an enormous chunk of their loans off somewhere (an investment group, maybe?) but! The promissory note will still be the EXACT same if your debt gets sold. You’ll only get a new promissory note if you refinance the loan yourself.

2a) Interest Accrual and Rates

Interest is how banks profit off the loans they give out and/or ‘ensure they don't end up with a loss if the loan defaults’. (It's profit.) Most, but not all, loans calculate interest with the simple daily interest formula, shown below:

[(Current loan balance) x (interest rate)] divided by 365

If your loan’s balance is $10,000 and your interest rate is 6% you’ll be charged $1.64 each day. SIMPLE INTEREST means that this interest just kind of floats around on the account until a payment comes in and pays it off, where COMPOUND adds that interest to the balance at the end of the month/day/whatever. Compound charges you more over the life of the loan.

FIXED INTEREST is a set percent that doesn't change, where VARIABLE will change usually based on whatever the economy is doing. There’s a minimum and maximum value to the variable interest rates, so if you’re doing a variable ASK WHAT THE MINS AND MAXES ARE. A fixed rate might be 8% and a variable might be 3.25% the day you take it out, but that variable could have a maximum interest rate of 25% so be VERY, VERY CAREFUL. If you get stuck in a real bad variable interest rate, your best solution is probably a refinance.

2b) Deferment and Payment Allocation

So interest is gonna be accruing on your loan from the day the money leaves the bank. Sucks. And you may not be able to make payments while you're in school, so opting to DEFER your payments will stop them from billing you so you can skip a month or whatever without penalty. At the END of that deferment, though, whatever interest that accrued will be added to your current balance. If we use the example from above (10k loan with 1.64 daily interest) four years of school will add $2,400 to your balance and then your daily interest will jump up to $2.03 a day.

Solution? Make payments of what you can while you’re in school to chip away at that floating interest. Usually when you make a payment, it’s gonna go towards the interest first and then the rest drops the balance. (E.g. if you make a $20.00 payment ten days after your loan is disbursed, $16.40 will go towards interest and $3.60 towards your 10k balance). There is NO PENALTY for making extra payments or making early payments, but it might make your bills look a little weird if you’re being billed each month for just the interest.

3) Why are these loans so horrible? Can’t I find anything to help me?

Blame Reagan and the republicans who enabled him.

No, but really. The problem with these loans is that those promissory notes are VERY legally binding and have lots of fine print in there designed to make it as hard as possible for someone to skimp out on their debt without having their credit score decimated. Some lenders might even dip into your paychecks if you're crazy behind or default; again, that's not my wheelhouse and I've only maybe seen that once. Your best bet is just to pay it off as fast as possible (again, no penalty for paying the loan off early) or refinance into better terms.

And I get it. I really do. I hate how we’ve made so many incredibly important things in our society locked behind a paywall that charges poor people more to climb than the rich. But if you’ve made it this far, please don't turn your anger at me for not giving you the answers you want. The best I can do is vote for people who are willing to crack down on predatory lending, keep fighting for student loan forgiveness… and at my own job, make sure that my coworkers aren't making mistakes.

If you have a more specific question, I can try to answer as best I can without breaking any information privacy laws. And take care, okay? You are never fighting alone.

[froody]

Where I’m from the real estate is completely, suspiciously cheap. You can get a cute move in ready (but dated) 2 bed 1 bath starter home on a .6 acre lot for $34k That’s a monthly payment around $300. If you’re renting, your option is usually a trailer but then again, a 3 bed 2 bath trailer with a lovely view rarely has rent that rarely exceeds $300 a month. The county that I’m from is beautiful. I mean, it’s flat, there are a lot of cotton fields but there are a lot of old growth pine forests and many great fishing spots, beautiful and clean rivers and lakes. There are also many historical sites. About 16,000 people live here and we’ve been hemorrhaging residents since our population peaked in 1950 with almost 30,000 residents. It’s a large county. Sparsely populated now.

You’re thinking “wow, why is the real estate so cheap? why doesn’t anyone want to live there?” I can tell you why. Around 11% of people live under the poverty line in the US. In my county, around 30% live under the poverty line. There are no resources. There is no hospital in my county and depending on what side of the county to reside in, the nearest one is usually over an hour away. The school system sucks. There are no jobs. Industry died, that drove away many people. As the population wanes, the need for jobs in human facing jobs like retail and teaching also dies. Every bright and beautiful soul born here desperately wants to escape. You have to leave home if you want an education, if you want a living wage, if you want access to quality healthcare, hell, you have to drive to a city if you want to buy clothes.

This is a Black majority county and it has been historically. So many of the ways it’s been squeezed dry are the result of racism. The people here are great. We’re neighborly but not overly so, keep to our own business but we’ll make small talk at the grocery store. We’ll help you if your car breaks down. We’ll invite you in for dinner. This place is beautiful. It’s lovely. And you can’t stay. And that’s the saddest part.

[emcant]

Three generations ago, my great grandparents on one side immigrated from 1-2 Nordic countries to the Detroit border in search of jobs. I have seen newspaper ads from the era: they literally said that the Great Lakes look "just like home".

Two generations ago, my first-gen grandparents joined the Catholic church and had about a million children.

One generation ago, my grandpa's GI Bill payment came through. He worked in architecture when he was deployed, and LA was up and coming in the 1950s, so he moved his million children cross country.

My generation is all beach kids, and our parents are extremely sentimental for the snow, pines, mountains, etc, that we've never seen before. "Camping", to me, is synonymous with "forest". There's a yearning for the fjords that I've never known firsthand.

My cousins' kids, I think, are exclusively Hawaiian so it's only gotten worse, but my point is: going from suburban SoCal even to a local mountaintop kind of feels like going to Mars, and it's equally surreal to see your folks lean right in like it's the most normal place in the world.

So one time when I was about 8, my mom and a few of her million siblings and my million cousins all got together to camp in the Santa Cruz area. Again, total culture shock for my cousins and I. By chance, a group of us stumbled across a little grove with about 50 butterfly cocoons... And as we were taking in the alien life forms, they started to move, and we actually saw a few monarch butterflies emerge right there!

Keep in mind we were three little girls under 10 and their baby brother, ~5, but I'd say this remains one of the coolest things I've ever seen. So we're standing there, totally hypnotized, and a random little girl we don't know runs by and shouts that she's going to go see a banana slug if we want to join her.

We are still hypnotized by the butterflies and say no thanks, but come check this out? But she runs off, too excited for words.

A little bit later she runs back from the other direction, hands fully extended in front of her, shouting "DO NOT TOUCH THEM" as a warning. We didn't; I don't recall seeing any that trip... But I think about that a lot now that I'm in their neighborhood.

[sealmonger]

Revelation 21 ESV

The New Heaven and the New Earth

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. 2 And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place[a] of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people,[b] and God himself will be with them as their God.[c] 4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

5 And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” 6 And he said to me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment. 7 The one who conquers will have this heritage, and I will be his God and he will be my son. 8 But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.”

The New Jerusalem

9 Then came one of the seven angels who had the seven bowls full of the seven last plagues and spoke to me, saying, “Come, I will show you the Bride, the wife of the Lamb.” 10 And he carried me away in the Spirit to a great, high mountain, and showed me the holy city Jerusalem coming down out of heaven from God, 11 having the glory of God, its radiance like a most rare jewel, like a jasper, clear as crystal. 12 It had a great, high wall, with twelve gates, and at the gates twelve angels, and on the gates the names of the twelve tribes of the sons of Israel were inscribed— 13 on the east three gates, on the north three gates, on the south three gates, and on the west three gates. 14 And the wall of the city had twelve foundations, and on them were the twelve names of the twelve apostles of the Lamb.

15 And the one who spoke with me had a measuring rod of gold to measure the city and its gates and walls. 16 The city lies foursquare, its length the same as its width. And he measured the city with his rod, 12,000 stadia.[d] Its length and width and height are equal. 17 He also measured its wall, 144 cubits[e] by human measurement, which is also an angel's measurement. 18 The wall was built of jasper, while the city was pure gold, like clear glass. 19 The foundations of the wall of the city were adorned with every kind of jewel. The first was jasper, the second sapphire, the third agate, the fourth emerald, 20 the fifth onyx, the sixth carnelian, the seventh chrysolite, the eighth beryl, the ninth topaz, the tenth chrysoprase, the eleventh jacinth, the twelfth amethyst. 21 And the twelve gates were twelve pearls, each of the gates made of a single pearl, and the street of the city was pure gold, like transparent glass.

22 And I saw no temple in the city, for its temple is the Lord God the Almighty and the Lamb. 23 And the city has no need of sun or moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and its lamp is the Lamb. 24 By its light will the nations walk, and the kings of the earth will bring their glory into it, 25 and its gates will never be shut by day—and there will be no night there. 26 They will bring into it the glory and the honor of the nations. 27 But nothing unclean will ever enter it, nor anyone who does what is detestable or false, but only those who are written in the Lamb's book of life.

Footnotes

a. Revelation 21:3 Or tabernacle

b. Revelation 21:3 Some manuscripts peoples

c. Revelation 21:3 Some manuscripts omit as their God

d. Revelation 21:16 About 1,380 miles; a stadion was about 607 feet or 185 meters

e. Revelation 21:17 A cubit was about 18 inches or 45 centimeters

[gay-sin]

Severance, flip phones, far from home: the impossibility of opting out 

I finished Severance by Ling Ma about a week ago. I loved it so much. I am not in school anymore and I am having a hard time trying to fulfill my desire for intellectual conversation. It’s not like I’m not learning anymore. I’m learning so much. These days, I am filling in the gaps of my learning in the sections of life that I chose to put off while prioritizing academia. I’m learning to take care of myself, complete tasks, hold myself accountable, and generally survive. It is hard and I miss the conversations I would have in school that felt like they truly challenged and deepened my worldview. Reading has been a great solace to me in that way but it often feels lonely to read something and not get to discuss it with others. I can never simply read or watch something without wanting to dig in and discuss the implications. I like to use fiction to interrogate real things. I have so many thoughts about Severance and what it had me thinking about in my own life as I read it. I decided to write it down to at least converse with myself as I did so. I'm posting it online to see if anyone would want to engage in conversation with me as well. It is not in MLA or whatever. I’m not in school. I can write how I want. 

I think that the title of Severance is very layered. On the surface, it references the phenomenon of severance checks (payments given to terminated employees that are fired due to layoffs or retirement). The payments are based on the amount of time that an employee has worked for the company. Effectively, it aims to take care of the people that have taken care of the company until they can find new work. Severance describes how companies have cut long-term employees and these checks in order to maximize profits at the cost of minimizing quality. This seems to echo a larger trend that the novel revolves around: a cutting off (or severance) from our interconnectivity under our current systems of hetero-patriarchal white supremacist colonial capitalism. What a mouthful. But basically… Society is severing us from the things that make living meaningful, and for many, possible. 

The characters of the book all seem to be struggling with the desire to opt out of this system (who wouldn't want that?) The narrator, Candace, immigrated to Salt Lake City from Fuzhou as a child. This severance from her ancestry, culture, and family was done in aims of giving her a better life in the United States. In many ways, it was an action done by her parents in order to attempt to opt out of the struggles of life in Fuzhou, made increasingly difficult under global capitalism. Even so, the choice was really just opting into a new set of struggles. The book describes the complex effects of this immigration on Candace and her family. In addition, it describes the guilt of leaving and the burden of feeling as if you are in a country that despises you while you must constantly prove yourself to it.

Candace’s ex-boyfriend felt dehumanized by the working in corporate America and therefore lives on the fringes of the system, skimping by. He believes himself to be opting out of the system. In this quote, Candace interrogates his lifestyle.

“I know you too well. You live your life idealistically. You think it’s possible to opt out of the system. No regular income, no health insurance. You quit jobs on a dime. You think this is freedom but I still see the bare, painstakingly cheap way you live, the scrimping and saving, and that is not freedom either. You move in circumscribed circles. You move peripherally, on the margins of everything, pirating movies and eating dollar slices. I used to admire this about you, how fervently you clung to your beliefs—I called it integrity—but five years of watching you live this way has changed me. In this world, money is freedom. Opting out is not a real choice” (205).

The illusion of opting out is a privilege. Jonathan, unlike Candance, is American. This gives him the ability to exist in America without questioning or proving his belonging. He does not carry the weight of supporting his family or really anyone but himself. Even so, he barely manages that. Candace, not afforded many of Jonathan's privileges, works for in a corporate office. Jonathan, idealistic and blind to his own advantages, is consistently criticizing this choice.

I have always had dreams of opting out. I've spent much of my life dreaming of this. I think that part of why I went to college was to opt out of joining the workforce for four more years. I studied art because it seemed like that would be opting out of the monotony of having a Real Job. I bought a flip phone to opt out of smartphone addiction. I moved across the country to opt out of my family. 

Severance depicts a world-ending incurable pandemic. The illness is called Shen Fever and it is somewhat akin to a zombie apocalypse without the eating of humans. The sickness comes for everyone, even if it does demolish the areas with the least privileges first. In the end, everyone is susceptible. You cannot opt out. You cannot buy your way out of an incurable disease. 

You cannot buy your way out of climate change, even if you can avoid its consequences for longer. Sure, you may be privileged enough to be given the illusion of opting out but this planet is deeply, densely interconnected. You are not opting out. You are delaying the inevitable. 

Over the summer, I went to an anarchist bookstore in Philadelphia and bought a book called Meaningful Flesh: Reflections on Religion and Nature for a Queer Planet. I would read the essays on my breaks from work, trying to see if I could be someone that reads academic theory in my free time. It ended up being very dense and difficult to get through but it was incredibly interesting to me. I was reminded of the second essay of the text when reading Severance. It is called, “Irreverent Theology: On the Queer Ecology of Creation” by Jacob J. Erikson. The essay aims to queer our ideas of nature and matter with a theological lens. That is a massive oversimplification of the text but I don’t want to stray too much from my original point here. I just wanted to include a quote from the essay to gesture to how these concepts in Severance have resonances in so many areas of life.

 “For this particular nature-cultural moment, we must be irreverent of old stories and ideas in our constructive creativity. Ideas of pristine nature, untouched wilderness, essential selves, essential genders, and uncomplicated assumptions of desire and sexuality, deaden and violate the messy and embodied realities of creativity, embodied ecology, and enfleshed divinity” (74).

Collectively, we have attempted to sever ourselves from the environment that we are interwoven with, dependent on, and constantly in conversation with. The consequences are far-reaching and the effort is inevitably futile. You cannot sever yourself from the environment that sustains you. You are the environment.

On Saturday, I took an Uber home from my friend’s house and chatted with the driver. We talked about daylight savings and how stupid it is. Why make the sun go down sooner? I wish I could opt out of it, but then I’d be an hour early to every event from now until spring. I told him that I thought that the government was supposed to get rid of this system but apparently they were too busy committing genocides. We talked about Palestine and how clear it is that what is happening is devastating but how some people still blindly support Israel. We agreed that people have lost a fundamental part of their humanity: a severance from the part of themselves that sees innocent people dying and is devastated and outraged. In America, we have the choice to participate in these colonial ideologies,  push against them, or to not have an opinion (to “opt out"). It is an American privilege, the illusion of opting out of mass murder. None of us are separate from this conflict. Our tax dollars are being spent on the weapons that do the killing.

I am a white American. I have a large array of privileges that give me the illusions of choice. But at the end of the day, none of my choices have truly opted me out. At the end of the day, these severances have only handicapped me in other ways. I have gotten lost and missed appointments that I could have simply typed into Google Maps on a smartphone. I walked to urgent care by myself when I could have called my mom to pick me up if I didn’t move so far away. I carry the debt of my art degree and I will be making monthly payments from now until forever. I don’t have enough money to get out of an unhealthy living situation.  How free am I? How much have I opted out? You can opt out and be crushed by the weight of what it means to be alone, still dependent and existent within the system you’ve supposedly broken out of. But if you opt in, do you get sucked in? What choice is there?

“To live in a city is to take part in and to propagate its impossible systems. To wake up. To go to work in the morning. It is also to take pleasure in those systems because, otherwise, who could repeat the same routines, year in, year out?” (290).

In Severance, the fevered mindlessly repeat patterns. Their condition is an identifiable sickness. Yet, at the same time, Ma also gestures to the fact that it is not too different from the condition that we all share. Our daily repetition, often mindless, trying to find pleasure. The condition one must adopt to survive in this world. The sickness is not individual, it is collective. The cure is not individual, it is collective.

My coworker is moving home across the country after moving away from his family many years ago. He told me about how stressful the process has been for him. I could relate a lot to what he had said. The unsustainability of not having family closeby. The feeling of - what am I proving? The unsustainable nature of being alone and the sometimes equally unsustainable nature of family. Every choice seems to be a choice to sever yourself from one thing or sever yourself from another. Either way, the choice is rarely to come together. The deeper we just get into becoming a mess of severed pieces. 

I got a flip phone back in 2021 when I took a year off from college. At the time, I had fallen headfirst into a lot of the crushing realities that I had never really wanted to face. I was back home living with my family. I was coming to terms with my health, my sexuality, my lack of funds, my place in the world. I was cut off from my illusions of Making it Big and was faced with what Making it Small would entail. I was trying to shoulder the weight of the world that seemed to slowly be collapsing. I got a flip phone as an experiment, to see if I could do it, to see what it would feel like.  I wanted to know what it would be like to have to figure things out on my own, to be in silence, to be present in the moment that I was in. I wanted to stop opting out of being alive. 

About a month ago, I switched back to my smartphone on a whim. To see if I could, to see what it would feel like. It hasn’t solved anything. It hasn’t cured me. It has made my life easier in a lot of ways but harder in others. I miss the way I could walk around with a built-in excuse as to why I had not seen your email. I liked not having the pressure of every piece of knowledge at my constant disposal. I miss the way I felt I could walk around the world without trying to sever myself from it. I would walk in silence instead of trying to impose some soundtrack onto my reality, the soundtrack of the life I’d rather live.

[neopronouns-in-action]

079: The Theft of the Synphirim

Neopronouns: rhi/rhim/rhir/rhimself which follow the same rules as he/him/his/himself

Replace he with rhi

Replace him with rhim

Replace his with rhir

Replace himself with rhimself

EX:

"He is going to adopt a new puppy soon, as soon as he gets a fence set up around his yard so the puppy can go outside without him having to walk it. His uncle is going to help set up the fence, since he has a set of power tools he’s letting him use, since he lost his. He's going to buy toys and train the puppy himself.”

Becomes:

"Rhi is going to adopt a new puppy soon, as soon as rhi gets a fence set up around rhir yard so the puppy can go outside without rhim having to walk it. Rhir uncle is going to help set up the fence, since he has a set of power tools he’s letting rhim use, since rhi lost rhir. Rhi's going to buy toys and train the puppy rhimself.”

_____

“So, do you all want to meet up here again in three hours for pasta? I’ve got the receipt right here.” The rick waved the small piece of paper they’d just printed out of their sky blue wristcomp through the air, letting the large and clear print at the top be clearly read as “Receipt of Payment for Scheduled Delivery of 4x Bowl of Bergir’s Best Pasta”, with a string of coordinates that rhi knew matched their present location at the south-western curve of Lorefish Lake.

It was very, very tempting for rhim to say yes to the free food without hesitation, but rhi forced rhimself to visibly hesitate, and mentally take a few seconds to actually think about the offer.

This rick had come out of nowhere, quite literally dropped out of the sky into the little hideaway where they’d been fishing, thrown brand new clothes at them, and money, and a large pizza, and now they were offering more food if they came back in three hours? Or rather, since rhi and rhir friends had been planning to spend the whole day here anyways, if they stayed here and waited for the rick to come back.

Rhi looked over at Kamiica and Niiyaz to see what they were thinking.

Kamiica sent privately to their group, [Do you think it could be a trap?]

Niiyaz sent, [If they wanted to call the guards, why wouldn’t they just do it now? Why give us all this free stuff just to hand us over later? It’s not like we’re especially hidden right now anyways. Tons of people saw us walk over here. I mean, I guess it could be an elaborate set up...]

[I vote yes.] Rhi sent, [I want that pasta.]

There was a moment or two of pause, then Niiyaz and Kamiica both sent, [Me too.] Apparently all three of them were trying to be cautious against their own wills.

Rhi would have liked to say that when they all three turned to the rick to say, at exactly the same time, “Sounds good to me”, that it was on purpose, but it was really just a side-effect of being mirrim-bonded for so long.

The rick grinned, and stood, holding out the receipt to rhim, since rhi was sitting closest. Rhi took it, and shoved it into rhir pocket where the pouch of pennies they’d given rhim earlier had also gone. Rhi would look at it once they were gone. Somehow it felt embarassing to double-check the receipt while the rick was still standing there watching.

“Great!” The rick said cheerfully, like they were all best friends, “You hold onto that one, I’ll make my own copy for the delivery drone. I’ll see you all in three hours – right now, I gotta go figure out how to give a Synphirim a bath!”

That had to be some kind of weird turn of phrase for rich people for when they were busy doing rich people stuff.

Rhi watched as the rick turned to the short wall of dirt that hid this fishing spot from the road, and high-jumped to the top without even getting a running start, then turned to wave cheerfully back down at rhim and rhir friends. Absolutely showing off their high athletics skill, which had been locked behind a paywall for over a decade now once the ricks took over all the training centers and starting charging an absurd toll for even just wanting to look around.

Then, as the three watched in suddenly dumbfounded shock, the rick turned around, pulled a golden summoning crystal out of their pocket, held it up, said something that the universe itself kept them all from hearing, and out of the air shimmered a massive white and gold beast the likeness of which they’d only ever seen on the royal crest.

But this wasn’t a simple, stylized heraldic symbol – this was the real thing, in the flesh, standing less than ten squares’ distance. This was a synphirim, no – The Synphirim, it was the only one of its kind -- the largest beast ever discovered on land, the only beast that was truly classed as a dragon. The rarest and most endangered beast in all the world.

It stood two heads taller than the rick even on all fours, and was so big the only parts of it rhi could see were its front legs and shoulders – the rest of its body was blocked by the trees and bushes, and probably blocked half the road up there. Its shimmering hide was white traced with rainbow veins like a microchip, with gold bands on its legs and long, rabbit-like ears.

Its face was long and pointed like a wolf’s, with two pitch black eyes that regarded the three beggars staring up at it with a calm regard, seeming almost amused by their amazement.

It seemed like the rick was giving them all time to properly stare and be amazed, before they waved again, and with an ease that was just purely showing off, they leapt up, and did a front flip in midair to land perfectly seated in the saddle strapped to the dragon’s back.

“Meet me here again in three hours for dinner!” They called, and then gave a silent signal to the shimmering synthetic beast so that it all of a sudden leapt forward and into the air, and the downdraft from its ragged-edged wings actually knocked the three beggars back onto their butts.

A few moments later, the pair were nothing more than a quickly diminishing dot in the sky, headed out over the town.

There were a few moments of stunned silence, and then Rhi sent, [Oh. My. Gods.]

[Oh my farbly gods] Niiyaz sent with emphasis.

[Do you realize what this means?] Kamiica sent.

Oh yes. Rhi knew what it meant.

There was only one Synphirim in existance, because the first person to hatch one, the now infamous Kreig Scandon, had bought and trashed all the other eggs before anyone knew what he was doing, and then refused to allow his, the only survivor, to be cloned or bred. He was the richest person in the kingdom, and kept The Synphirim’s summoning crystal locked up inside his mansion under lock and key, with all his other beasts and half a dozen soulmates guarding it.

And just two days ago, someone had broken into his mansion and stolen The Synphirim’s crystal, along with almost all of Scandon’s fortune in gold, and who knew how many other collectible items so rare they were practically priceless.

Which meant that rick hadn’t actually been a random slummer.

And that meant…

Not even bothering to get up off the ground, rhi felt rhir pocket for the pouch of coins the – not the rick, they had to have been the Master Thief themselves – had thrown rhim. It had felt so light rhi had assumed it was just pennies, barely worth the weight they took up. With the economy the way it had been for the past few years, they couldn’t be used for anything. But ricks liked to throw them around as a ‘favor’ to pitiful little beggars like rhim.

But if that had been the Master Thief…

Hardly daring to breathe, rhi pulled the pouch of coins out of rhir pocket, and loosened the drawstring to look inside.

And it wasn’t pennies that filled the bag.

It wasn’t even gold coins.

It was diamond.

Hundreds of them, at least. Enough to buy all the houses on the market, enough to buy more clothes than any of them could ever wear to rags. Enough to buy them probably all the scavenging, pillaging, and farming beasts they could ever want, combined, three times over, on top of all of those houses and clothes. They could probably even buy a whole castle with just this bag and still have some left over.

Rhi could probably even buy a knockout cure if rhi felt like throwing all the money away at once, just for the value of knowing that someone, somewhere, would be having a complete catastrophic nuclear meltdown over the fact that someone had actually bought their knockout cure on the open market. It would probably be the only thing in the news for at least two weeks, if the news wasn’t currently flooded with the theft of The Synphirim.

Rhi put rhir head in rhir hands, completely speechless. Like someone had cast a silencing spell on rhim.

Niiyaz had no such trouble, and once she saw what was in the coin purses, he started shouting and swearing up a storm loud enough for all of them, which was definitely going to scare all the fish away.

But who needed to eat minnows when you had all the money in the world? And in just three hours the Master Thief would come back, probably with more money and gifts and food…

...It was a good day to be a dirty beggar.

[opanchu]

ADRIIIIII HAAAIII :3 :3 :3 is watership down good well im guessing yas bc u missed it but like idk much of it exvept rabbits and emotional turmoils... sending this ask from a forest im camping w my besties!!! a little mad tho bc my mom suggested we bring my cereal and my bestie said Its o kwe have cereal! AND ITS HIGH SUGAR STUFF!!!! <- neither me nor my guts r a fan. other than that ots been so nice to chill w my besties bc for my boy fred its been so long since we saw eachother irl and a lot of shit has happened since >_< they brought cool fiction novels i brought a live sound nonfiction booklet LOL. anyways hope ur work goes well and u mysterioudly get a solid amnt of money soon ^_^ MEOW

HELLOOOO VIRIDINE yes oh my gosh it's my favorite book in the world 🐰 the 1978 movie adaptation is incredible too, i highly recommend both reading and watching it! my favorite parts are the detail gone into writing the language and mythology of the rabbits but ofc i'd love that im predictable lol

ALSO OMG hope you have fun!! that sounds great i cant remember the last time I went camping, usually to hang out with friends we just go out to town or to like a pool or smth, closest is we go to a lake which is always fun ^_^

and thank you!! I'm currently working community service cause here in hungary you need at least 50 hours of community service done before graduation, i already have 30 and next week i'll have 20 so i'll be done! i can go back to work in august earliest so im gonna see if i can ask to work for payment >_☆

[erwin0859]

hello erwin, i hope you're well! may i please request reader (with a personality like hu tao/ei) who's dreadful at cooking trying to make something with whichever three characters you think would be funniest?

i've been thinking of this for a while and thought it would be really funny- i feel like cooking with a short tempered character or another character who's bad at cooking would be hilarious, but i'm curious to hear what you think! hope you have a good day :)

-🐈‍⬛

I am, thanks; I hope you're well too, and have a good day as well 😊 Considering the nature of this request, I shall try a different layout... although, I wasn't inspired in the same way for each of them, I hope you will like it still 🤔

Cooking headcanons with a GN reader who can't cook & whose personality is a mixture of Hu Tao and Ei, with...

... a character who can't cook (Raiden Shogun)

Oh boy...

Upon hearing about this kind of event, Yae Miko asked to assist you two

Officially, to be the judge who will taste the results (her sacrifice shall be remembered) but officiously, it's just to enjoy the show

Ei will be glad to have some social time with someone like her

The two of you decided to attempt preparing some Tricolor Dango Balls, hoping that a favourite snack would be more motivating, thus with higher chances of success

The result was... anything but that, not just because of the potato shapes, but also due to the, somehow, identical color for each of them

... and the lack of noticeable taste

At least, it doesn't look nor smell too much like poison

In any case, judge Yae Miko could still ask a certain Gorou to taste-try instead, as a gesture of "apology" for all the past teasing he got from her

... characters who cook suspiciously (Hu Tao, Kamisato Ayato)

When it comes to Hu Tao, you will naturally go along very well with her too, like with Ei

As for Ayato, it will be an original type of break from work

He's used to playing Genius Invokation TCG with Itto anyway, so he won't mind another form of curious... "originality"

They will both help you, even using your lack of knowledge as inspiration to try something new

Then will come the time to have a taste of the result... well, more like finding a guinea pig

It would be more fun interesting to receive exterior feedback, after all

Ayato naturally thought about Thoma (it wouldn't be the first nor last time)

As for Hu Tao, well... how about going for a stroll through Liyue Harbor? Surely there's a merchant out there in need of some mood boost, after losing a commercial contract to a competitor

... characters who are great cooks (Noelle, Navia...)

They won't question how it's possible, they will instead selflessly teach you, all the while cooking the food at the same time, with patience and words of encouragement

Your bubbly reactions will be payment enough for them, making them feel pleased to have helped you

In the end, you'll enjoy the food together and they will invite you for another time

... cooking with Xiangling

If never you believed that being dreadful at cooking was unusual, wait until you witness in person the ingredients used by Xiangling

It will help you put things into perspective

If she can cook something tasty without following the commonly-accepted culinary norms, then it means that you, too, can do it!

After seeing the non-negligible room for improvement you possess though... she suggested you to be her assistant instead, for this time

This way, she could show you now, and next time you'd do some practice (... with her help still)

... cooking with Bennett

You know, straight from the start, that it won't happen with ideal conditions

Not that he wouldn't help you, quite the contrary, the mood will be cheerful and optimistic despite all odds

It's just that the labels on the recipients he brought are gone... after he found himself dripping wet from falling in a lake... startled by one of Timmie's pigeons... trying to survive one more extra day

At some point, you wondered if this recipient was full of salt or baking soda

And later on, if that one was filled with cinnamon powder or black pepper

What's the worst that could happen anyway?

Barbara is used to regularly check on him, so one more or one less check up will not make much of a difference to her, at this point

... cooking with Qiqi

"What... was the next step again? I... I forgot."

One good thing though: she doesn't mistake your bubbly behavior for being the one and only Hu Tao

Thankfully, Dr. Baizhu showed up to save the day... and also to prevent you from starving tonight

... cooking with Arataki Itto

"What do you mean, you can't cook?"

"Now, compadre, lemme tell you: this is a sentence from the past! 'cause Arataki "Numero Uno Cheffo Supremo" Itto, here in the flesh, will teach you all there is to know!"

"Uh-huh, that's right! And after I show you how the pros do it, you'll make even the Raiden Shogun herself show up, to come taste your cooking! I'm talking from experience here, you know?

And if the smell isn't enough... well, I'll just throw papers into Tenshukaku again, it's no big deal."

Needless to say, Shinobu's 6th sense for incoming troubles triggered after hearing all that... and it didn't take long for the stove itself to be on fire

"Holy moly pepperoni, who summoned the Pyro Archon in here?! We don't even have any offerings ready! Shinobu, do something! Help!"

... cooking with Fischl

Your stomach will be full for the day... but your mind will have reached its monthly limit of speech-processing

If it wasn't for Oz translating everything she says into a less grand, more common (and understandable) form of language, then communication would have been more difficult

At least, she appreciates your efforts to converse with her, despite the... difference of style between you both

"I, Fischl, Prinzessin der Verurteilung, shall assist thou in thy divine mission of fulfilling thy satiety by thyself"

"Thine ancient and forgotten recipes, from thy secret realms within thy depths of thy Immernachtreich, shall be revealed to thou on thy blessed day"

"Where thine clouds from thy evil forces of darkness, thine despicable enemies of light, will become disintegrated, as thou shall spread wide thine wings of culinary knowledge"

"Thus, beginning a new era in which thou shall be able to course thy own path, becoming a sovereign of eating preparation"

"A path where thy kitchen shall no longer be regarded as a place of everlasting, insurmountable hardship"

"What mein Fräulein means to say is, she will gladly teach you how to cook"

Thank you for reading! Link to main post

[30-before-30-but-im-27]

2023 End of the year thoughts...

Here are some of my favourite photos taken in each of the places I visited last year. It's still unbelievable to me that I pulled off visiting 14 countries in one year: Italy (Rome, Venice, Verona, and Lake Garda), Vatican City, Germany (Berlin), Portugal (Lisbon), Luxembourg, Greece (Athens, Santorini, Chania, and Heraklion), Cyprus (Paphos), Jordan (Amman, Petra, and Wadi Rum), Wales, Norway (Oslo), Austria (Vienna), France (Marseille), Northern Ireland (Belfast) and ending the year visiting Czechia (Prague) for my 28th birthday.

My favourite places I visited were Jordan (nothing will beat seeing one of the Seven Wonders of the World, Petra, and the stunning red sands of Wadi Rum), Italy (especially Lake Garda and the gondola ride in Venice was a dream come true), Wales because climbing Snowdon is a great achievement for me, and finally Prague. I dreamt of visiting it ever since reading the description of the city in one of my favourite childhood books.

I did go into debt which I am currently paying off till March (two more payments, freedom tastes so sweet) which I regret. I definitely got the travel bug ripped out of me and I will never do this again. I am taking things a lot easier this year. I am also thankful to have been to so many beautiful places, for being able to share these memories with my friends and family and to be able to take my mum with me to a lot of these, making her dreams of traveling come true as well.

[thepastisalreadywritten]

Toronto in the 1900s was a different city from the one we know today.

The center of business had moved west of the historical Town of York site and the skyline was undeveloped.

The tallest structures were the Temple Building at 10 stories and the Trader’s Bank Building at 15 stories.

A new downtown to the west of Yonge and King Streets was built. The City of Toronto moved into a new City Hall, built at the head of Bay Street at Queen Street.

Much of this new downtown was destroyed in the Great Toronto Fire of 1904, but it was quickly rebuilt, with new taller buildings.

South of downtown, the railways dominated most of the lands. A new viaduct was built to carry the main lines and eliminate the many at-level crossings.

A single Union Station was built to replace the several railway stations of the rail lines. It sat empty for a while over disagreements between the government and the rail companies.

In the late nineteenth century, Toronto welcomed the rise of Victorian architecture, as well as many of its revival styles.

This style of architecture was thought to be more modern, unique and creative than its successor, characterized by steep gabled roofs, round angles, towers, turrets and dormers, shapely bay windows, stained glass, centric carved woodwork, and bright colored paneling.

This style lent itself well to narrower lots, and thus, Victorian-style housing was most abundant in the city’s traditionally middle-class neighborhoods where individual properties were smaller, most notably Cabbagetown, Trinity-Bellwoods, Parkdale, and The Annex.

These neighborhoods held some of the largest collections of Victorian houses in North America.

Specifically, houses constructed in the Annex developed an individual iteration of the Victorian style, called the “Annex Style House.”

This style contained a variety of diverse and eclectic elements borrowed from many different styles.

Most distinctively, these houses were built of a mix of brick and sandstone, turrets, domes, and decorative ornamentation.

The city received new European immigrant groups beginning in the late 19th century into the early 20th century, particularly Germans, French, Italians, and Jews.

They were soon followed by Russians, Poles, and other Eastern European nations, in addition to the Chinese entering from the West.

As the Irish before them, many of these migrants lived in overcrowded shanty-type slums, such as “the Ward,” which was centered on Bay Street, now the heart of the country’s Financial District.

As new migrants began to prosper, they moved to better housing in other areas, in what is now understood to be succession waves of settlement.

Despite its fast-paced growth by the 1920s, Toronto’s population and economic importance in Canada remained second to the much longer-established Montreal, Quebec.

The Great Depression of the 1930s reversed the employment trend, with approximately one-fourth of the Toronto population unemployed and caused severe financial problems for suburban Toronto.

Capital debt payments could not be met and expenditure on public services—sewage and piped water supply in places remote from the lake, for example—had to be postponed.

However, World War II’s demands for war supplies and soldiers soon changed the employment picture.

Following the war, and into the 1960s, times were prosperous throughout North America.

Toronto’s economy diversified and boomed, greatly altering the cultural and spatial pattern of the city.

Other factors after the war included the baby boom, demand for single-family dwellings, and the proliferation of the automobile.

Suburban sprawl was assisted by the increase in road networks and freeways, thereby consuming some of the best agricultural land in the region.

By 1953, a reorganization of local government had been created, along with the Corporation of Metropolitan Toronto, in an attempt to control development in the surrounding regions.

Suburban growth continued. In 1966, new City of Toronto boundaries were drawn, amalgamating 13 communities, with the Metropolitan government still in place.

By the 1976 census, Toronto passed Montreal to become the largest city in Canada, and the gap between these two cities continued to grow.

(Photo credit: City of Toronto Archives / BlogTO / Wikimedia Commons / Britannica / Flickr).

Updated on: February 6, 2023

[dumb-of-ass-pure-of-heart]

Not to make a threat on a public official's life but whoever is responsible for making decisions around federal student loan servicers transferring loans to other servicers should have a philosophical bounty on their head.

My credit score has been top Fucking notch since sophomore year because as someone who grew up poor/lower income whatever, I was dedicated as shit to maintaining that one single chance. My credit card and my student loans are my only accounts. The credit card is maxed out as fuck rn and I'm considering my options so I went looking for some personal loans while I wait for this payment to hit my account next week. Why the fuck did my credit score come back as 425? Good question! Let's investigate!

Discover got rid of their credit monitoring last year and my life was just enough of a mess that it wasn't a priority until the student loans became an issue again. Slip #1. I checked my credit score on a different site and found that it had slipped from 768 to 648 in January. And why was that? Well, according to them, my student loans were gone. Vanished. Didn't exist. Poof.

Signed into the Great Lakes portal and low and behold my loans had been sold (or so I thought) to NelNet. Great. This is not the first time I have heard of this happening so while I'm not surprised I'm pissed off and now I have to deal with this shit. I called NelNet and thankfully the customer service person was really nice so I got down to the nitty gritty of the situation pretty fast and she was helpful too.

So basically, without notifying me or even trying to contact me, my loans were transferred to NelNet. Not sold, transferred at the demand of the Department of Education. Why? Because they have complete control over where my loans are held. True and morally reprehensible.

Let's list the ways in which this transfer has messed with my life:

As a very kind gift one of my parents made a payment on my interest before I graduated and before the moratorium went into place. NelNet does not have record of this payment. I have had to ask said parent to dig through their records and try to find it because it wasn't a regular transaction it was something specific like an education account or something.

When I changed my name, and then again when I got married, I had to submit a bunch of information to Great Lakes to get that all changed over. I never got a confirmation for either of these but they assured me it had been done. They do have record of my name change but not my marriage.

This is what could be potentially fucking over my credit score, but it is also possible that the credit bureaus can legally penalize my score for this. A big part of my score is the longevity of this account. The customer service person could not answer if this account would be considered an entirely new one or if it would carry over. If that's the case (and my loans aren't forgiven with Biden's shit), I'm legitimately going to start looking for people to file a class action lawsuit.

MY CREDIT SCORE DROPPED OVER 100 POINTS THAT'S INSANE

I didn't know about this!!! My previous servicer didn't call me they didn't try to get in contact with me!!!!!!!!! This could have completely fucked my whole life if I didn't look at loans!!! NelNet did try to contact me about this probably about two weeks ago but I disregarded it because I knew NelNet was a loan servicer and I get spam calls from people pretending to be with financial institutions all the time.

Anyways I'm gonna come after someone's pussylips for this shit and it's not gonna be pretty. I'm not a capitalist by any means and my credit score ~doesn't define me~ obviously but like hell am I gonna let the Department of fucking Education be the reaper of my immediate financial future. I'm coming for their asses.