#Gratuitous Descriptions of Clothing | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

toxicanonymity · 3 months ago

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Some Landlord ! Billy smut would be Perfect, if you have time. Thanks Tox 🥺

murderbait

BILLY LOOMIS x f!READER | 2k words | The Leak WARNINGS: 18+ AU where Billy lives and is acquitted of the murders. He's now your sleazy landlord. Gratuitous slutty descriptions. masturbation in public, detailed PIV fantasy, degradation, praise, banter and bickering, light enemies to lovers dynamic, manhandling, dom Billy vibes, sexual tension, pet names, "protective" Billy. NOTES: Sure, nonnie. I offer this sleaze with love. 🖤🖤

In the middle of the night, you wake up sweaty despite being completely naked and using no covers. Without putting on any clothes, you walk to your kitchen to get a cold cup of water, only to see a stack of filled ice trays next to the sink because you forgot to put them in the freezer. Ugh.

You get a glass of water and stand in front of the fridge with the door open. The air conditioner in your window feels weaker every day. It’s so stuffy in your trailer, you wonder if you’d be better off with the window open. Still naked, you go to the kitchen window and slide it open. No matter how hard you push upward, it won’t click and stay.

“Piece of shit,” you mutter. But the fresh air does feel good.

Standing in the window with your arms raised, tits blazing, skin glistening…. something moves in the corner of your eye. There’s a fake security camera mounted on the shed you’re looking at. At least you always assumed it was fake, since the owners are such deadbeats. You give it the middle finger just in case, then use a pitcher to hold the window up.

You go back to bed for a while longer, then get up and rifle through your unfolded laundry, looking for a swimsuit. You find a bikini that appears to have shrunk, but it has adjustable strings so you put it on anyway. Next door, there’s an extended stay hotel that has a pool. It has a cracked and faded slide, no longer in use, and half the rungs are dangling from the pool ladders. It won’t be the first time you’ve snuck in there. No one seems to care, and no one’s going to be out at this hour anyway.

The pool water is normally warm by sunset, but in the middle of the night, it’s cooled off enough. A weakly-inflated flamingo pool float sits atop the water, and a couple of pool noodles hug the wall. Half the pool lights are working. There’s no way this would pass an inspection, but sometimes it feels like barely anyone outside the area knows it exists.

You sit on the side of the pool, and as you lower yourself into the water, you look down to see your hard nipples barely contained by the shrunken, unlined triangle top, with some areola showing on one breast. The sight of your own slutty fit turns you on, and you don’t fix it.

Kicking your legs out in front of you, you imagine Billy joining you. Billy and his dirty wifebeaters and trucker hats and jeans that fit too well. Billy and his slutty fucking selfies that you can’t stop looking at every night. Billy, and that look in his eyes like he could eat you up, if only he were hungry.

He’d be hungry right now, you bet. You turn to your side and use both feet to grab a pool noodle, letting yourself off the wall as you mount it. Straddling the pool noodle, you turn toward the wall and rest your forearms on the side and squeeze your thighs together.

Closing your eyes and resting your head, you fantasize about him. He’s a low-life and a sleaze, and god he makes it hot. The way he moves, it shouldn’t be hot at all, but you’ve been watching him closer ever since he sent those selfies, and when scratches his lower belly, lifting up his tank top, exposing his happy trail, at this point it drives you fucking crazy. Like that’s where you need your forehead. You tilt your hips for more pressure from the foam between your legs.

There’s not a single thing about him that says he’s a better guy than you thought, but maybe he is. Or more likely, you don’t care. Or, perhaps most likely, you kinda like him bad.

He’s not the kind of man you’d want in your life, but in your bed?

It’s so easy to picture his silhouette at the foot of your bed, scratching himself, then lewdly grabbing the massive bulge in his jeans.

Your hips begin to move on their own, seeking friction with the foam noodle.

You can see him kneeling onto your mattress, prowling toward you, arms flexing, chains hanging down from his neck, dangling in the air–god if you could feel those hit your skin. You can feel him grabbing your wrists and pinning them above your head with one hand, while he unbuttons his jeans with the other.

You reach down and slide the pool noodle against your front, grinding your hips.

He’d probably lean in real close, say something cocky like, “you ready for this?” Ugh, his voice. With his dick in his hand. “Think ya can take it?” Yes, yes, please. He drops his thick meat heavily against your mound. Yes, please. God, please, you’d be squirming under him, wrists pinned by his hand, lifting your hips desperately. “Sure ya can handle this big cock?”

Fuck. It’s so clear, you can practically smell him. Your whole cunt throbs and you’re gushing in your bikini bottoms. “Mm,” you quietly hum as you get closer.

He’d shove himself into you, you’d arch your back and moan. He’d chuckle darkly, then his free hand would come to your jaw, dwarfing your face as he uses just two fingers and a thumb to squeeze your mouth open. The smell of cigarettes intensifies as his face hovers over yours, then he spits in your mouth. And he stays there, bottomed out, and you’ve never felt so full but you need the friction, you need him to move so bad, you need him to fuck you, you beg him to fuck you, really fuck you. “Yeah? Need me to fuck you?” God, yes.

“Mm,” your face screws up. You're so wet, and your clit twitches as you rub the front of your swimsuit with the foam cylinder you're straddling.

You can practically hear him say, “Poor baby.” He’s got half a smile, amused and in control. “Yeah I'll give it to ya,” he begins to slowly retreat, pauses with his cock half-withdrawn and lowers his pitch. “Who’s your daddy?”

The tension snaps and your lips part as you see stars.

Squeezing your thighs tight around the pool noodle, you ride it out, cumming to the thought of his girth stretching you with his gold chains dangling over you, hips beginning to move, jeans sitting loosely around his hips.

You weren’t planning on doing that, but, there you are, coming down off that high in the motel pool, in your shrunken bikini, skin buzzing, so tired and peaceful you could fall asleep.

And then metal scrapes against concrete, stirring you from your blissed out state.

A shadow moves.

His deep voice at a low volume, with that edge of condescension: "All done?”

Your stomach drops. You almost don’t want to look up, but you do. It’s his silhouette, manspreading in a worn-out chair, with a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other. The shadow of his stupid trucker hat hides his face. You let go of the pool noodle and try to subtly push it away, obviously too late. Frozen, heart racing, you’re standing with your chest above water.

“What are you doing here?” you demand.

“Don’t worry, I’m on my way out.” He stands up and stretches, revealing his happy trail. He twists in another stretch and god, his silhouette - his jeans bulging, clearly aroused. “An' so are you, c’mon.”

“I’m still cooling off,” you protest.

“I’ll bet.” He drops his cigarette into his can of beer and carries it with him as he approaches the pool with his face still in the shadow of his hat. Light reflects off his gold chains.

You make a fake effort to adjust your top and can’t take your eyes off his jeans. He adjusts himself and stands there giving you a moment.

Then he loses patience and says, “Alright, sugartits. Let’s go.”

He squats down and grabs you by the arm.

“Hey,” you protest as he starts to manhandle you toward the shallow stairs. “Alright, alright. Damn”

When you’re out of the pool, he looks you up and down. You feel like covering yourself up, but you defiantly stand with your hands on your hips.

“Tryin’ to turn tricks out here?” He slowly steps toward you and his eyes are glued to your chest. “Good place to do it….prolly make a few hooker friends too.”

“How many of’em have you fucked?” you retort.

He ignores the question and reaches for your chest.

Without blocking his hand, you look down and part of your nipple is showing again. He “fixes” your suit, tugging it over and thumbing your nipple while he’s at it. It covers your areola but leaves underboob.

“There ya go.”

He puts a toothpick in his mouth and motions for you to lead the way.

As you exit the pool area dripping wet, you mention, “If you’re gonna spy on me, you could bring me a towel next time.”

“Yeah, okay,” He mumbles with the toothpick at the corner of his mouth. “Just lookin’ out for ya’s all.”

“I don’t remember asking you to.”

He pulls the tab off his beer can and it replaces the cigarette that had been between his fingers. He throws the can into a bush.

As you reach the trailer park property line, he throws his toothpick into the shrubs and lowers his voice. “Listen sugar, there’s some shady fuckin’ characters over there.”

You scoff. “Apparently so.” you shoot him a look and can’t help but check him out while you’re at it. A harsh floodlight highlights the freckles on his big, tan shoulders.

He keeps on, “You tryin’ to get stabbed?”

“What?”

“Dumb as hell, sneakin’ over there, middle’a the night.”

Somehow, this makes you feel stupid. Like if he’s calling someone dumb... Damn.

You walk the rest of the way to your trailer in silence with him following slightly behind you.

“Lemme guess, ya left it unlocked, too,” he mutters, then opens your door himself. “Fuckin’ murderbait over here,” he grumbles.

He stands with his back to the open door and waits, making your body brush his as you walk in.

Full body goosebumps.

He stands there looking at you, and you eye his pants. Slowly, he steps into your personal space, and you back up almost to the nearest wall, but not against it. There, you stop. Letting him close. With his hand on the wall, he effectively traps you, blocking you from going any further into your trailer.

The smell of Newports fills your nostrils. He wets his lips and looks from your eyes to your chest, then your mouth.

He brings his nose to your neck and barely grazes you as he takes a long sniff. His nose brushes your cheek, and his lips follow. Just above a whisper, he warns, “Don’t do it again.”

When you don’t answer, he pulls back and his hand comes to your neck. He’s gentle, not applying any pressure, but the presence of his large, strong hand is enough to feel like a threat. One that makes you more turned on than scared. “Got it?” he asks, looking at your mouth. Can’t be sure if he’s talking about going over there alone or leaving your trailer unlocked, and it doesn’t really matter. His eyes are wild, and it’s like he’s inspecting you, marveling at your face.

You whisper, “Yes sir,” and await his next move.

He takes his hand from your neck and cups your cheek to whisper, “Good girl.”

You could actually melt.

He gives your chest another look and drops his hand, incidentally brushing his wrist against your breast before he pulls up his jeans. He bites the aluminum tab and turns to leave without another word. As he walks away, your eyes are drawn to a glock sticking out of the back of his pants.

He looks back at you and winks before shutting the door behind himself.

-----

------

Thank you for reading! I appreciate your interest and engagement with him so much.

Please take care of yourselves ♥️

#billy loomis x reader #landlord!billy loomis #billy loomis smut #toxicanonymity ☠️#scream fanfic #slasher x reader #sleazy!billy loomis #slasher smut #ghostface smut #state of fic emergency #dilf!billy loomis #x reader

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hier--soir · 1 year ago

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a lover's pinch | eight

joel miller x f!reader

pairing: professor!joel miller x f!reader rating: explicit, 18+ mdni summary: the one where they get caught. warnings/tags: au, university professor joel, age gap [20 something years diff], ethically dubious relationship due to inherent power imbalance, domestic bliss, gratuitous descriptions of joel reading, joni mitchell, explicit unprotected piv sex, delayed gratification, dirty talk, finger sucking, biting, academic praise kink, cream pie, who's in the pic on joel's desk??, angst, confrontation, an orpheus and eurydice metaphor uh oh, those blue panties from 3 come back to haunt us. word count: 6.9k nice series masterlist | main masterlist chapter moodboard a/n: i need someone to make me write [or not write] the way j miller phd does in this... also sorry and i hope you like it and sorry again follow @hier--soirupdates if you'd like to be notified when i share my writing this is part eight of ALP. you can read the previous parts here: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

Winter descends over Maine not with a bang, but with a whimper.

The days and weeks fold together in a blurring mess of sleep ins and papers and coffees, until suddenly a month has passed, and you hardly noticed it slipping through your fingers.

You spend less time at home, and more tucked on one side of Joel’s couch, your feet in his lap as he lounges down the other end. You dip pale toast in runny yolks at the table, listening to him on the phone to Sarah in the other room. Hear him say I’m good, baby girl… I’m really good when she asks how he is.

You ride shotgun in the truck between his place and the university, slipping out the passenger door a little early every time. Walk the final stretch lest someone notice his glasses, your hair through the windscreen.

On campus you watch him up there on his stage, a burn in your chest, and see how he seeks you out in the after. How he props you above him and returns your gaze finally. Curls his body around yours and repents for every time he had to look away.

It's warm and it’s kind and it’s trading books with scribbled notes in the margins.

It’s rain smacking against the windows as you read, his scruffy chin nesting in the slope where your neck meets your shoulder, two sets of eyes staring at the same words.

It’s nodding off in his bed where the sheets have started to smell like your perfume, eyelids heavy as you wait for him to get home. It’s wearing only his clothes and being woken up by his face between your thighs, pupils blown and lips slick.

It’s finding each other at the end of a long day and hearing him say, I thought about you all afternoon.

And this feeling of familiarity writhes between the slats of your ribs. A comfortable, quiet fondness that you see reflected in his eyes when he looks at you; that you hear when that tender mouth forms your name.

You gorge yourselves on it. Put lips to the crooks and thorns in each other’s bodies and suckle on that fondness, swallow, swallow, and watch the well never run dry.

The bleed is endless. Beneath the stain of time it floods and flurries, melting the two of you together until you start to feel certain it could never end.

Until, of course and at last, it does.

Sunday.

It’s late, you think. Somewhere in the mess where time blurs between sunset and midnight, Winter stealing hours that feel like minutes.

The curtains in his living room are drawn, low yellow light warming the room from a tall lamp in the corner. Blue spins in the on the record player, a gentle sway of sound that fills the room.

I like listening to Joni on Sundays, he’d confessed in the bathroom, bashful as he rubbed a towel over you, drying the wet ends of your hair and the slick skin of your shoulders.

He reads at the table now, strong chin cupped in his palm as his eyes flit across the pages of a textbook.

Something to do with conservation; a Minoan palace in Knossos, you think. He’d explained it earnestly, but his curls were soft and fluffy from the shower and his glasses were resting on the tip of his nose and so you’d found yourself zoning out, eyes going from round to heart shaped as you nodded along from the couch.

Every few minutes he grips his pen and jots down a note before glancing up to check on you. And whenever this happens you avert your eyes quickly, pretending to be enthralled by the half-finished essay on your screen. You have a feeling he catches you each time, because he keeps laughing softly, tutting under his breath as he goes back to reading, foot never stopping its tap-tap-tap in time with the music. The only time he gets up is to flip the record, and soon those little laughs and huffs start to mix with Joni’s bell-like voice, and the opening lyrics to California swell through the room as you type at a glacial pace.

She sings, I met a redneck on a Grecian isle, and you glance up again, eyes turning wide and doe-like when you find Joel already watching you. He gave me back my smile, Joni sings. But he kept my camera to sell.

“How’s the writing going?”

“Good.” Liar. “Great, even.” Bad liar.

Joel’s eyes narrow behind his glasses, lips twitching in a clear attempt to smother a laugh, but he just nods, looking back down at his book.

He’s wearing home clothes. That’s what he called them. Home clothes.

When he’d said it, still pulling them on, you’d wanted nothing more than to grip his hands and stop him in his tracks, but you’d sequestered yourself to the other side of the room instead, sorely committed to the study evening he’d suggested. But he’s in soft grey sweatpants and an even softer looking white t-shirt, and every time he sips his coffee he hums happily against the rim of his mug, and his bare foot goes tap-tap-tap and Joni sings Oh, will you take me as I am?, and—

“Come here.”

You blink. His eyebrows raise expectantly, lips split into a broad smile now.

“Unless you’d rather stay over there and keep starin’.”

You reach him as The Last Time I saw Richard, the final track on side two, begins to spin.

Joni sings, all romantics meet the same fate, and Joel’s knees fall apart, thighs splayed so handsomely across his chair, inviting you to take a seat. You ignore the woeful lyrics and focus instead on the knowing smirk on his face, taking a step forward, and another, until you’re stood between his open legs.

He doesn’t touch you. Just smiles, all saccharine and easy, leaning back in his chair.

“Much left to do?” He points at the laptop in your hands.

“Maybe another hundred words,” you grumble and put it down on the table. “Today, at least.”

Joel hums, eyes flicking down. His gaze skirts across the bare skin of your legs, the soft sleep shorts you’re wearing; ones he puts on you himself, and knows you don’t have anything beneath.

“Come here.” He pats his thigh; stops you with a soft tut when you try to straddle him. “Naw, baby, like this.”

Soft hands tilt your hips, turn you until your back is to his chest and he’s drawing you onto his lap.

“Oh.” You smile, leaning your head back onto his shoulder.

Nose turned into the side of his face, you brush a kiss to the edge of his jaw and sigh in relief as he wraps his arms around your middle and squeezes.

The space between his chest and the table is a little tight; small enough that if you were to lean forward a few inches your ribs would knock against the wood.

As if he’s thinking the same thing, Joel leans forward. Presses you against the table, one hand coming up to hold your face. His fingers are soft on your skin, offering small amounts of pressure as he grips your jaw and encourages you to look forward.

“Gonna tell me what’s on your mind?” he asks.

The hairs on the back of your neck stand up a little, skin prickling at the shift in his tone. Still soft, still quiet, yet with something… demanding, shifting just below the surface.

“You,” you say, cringing at the way your voice takes on a higher quality all of a sudden. Steeling yourself, you add, “You’re distracting me.”

“Wasn’t doing anythin’,” he responds simply. “Just sittin’ over here, minding my business while you burn holes in my head.”

“You know what you’re doing.”

“I cooked dinner.” He squeezes you again. “Fed you. We showered, and now I’m readin’.”

“You were humming.”

Joel kisses the shell of your ear.

“And tapping.”

He flutters his fingers against your hip.

“S’that such a crime?” he murmurs.

“No, but…” You sigh when his tongue snakes out, tracing the soft curve of your earlobe. “But it…”

“But but but,” Joel mocks, and you can feel his sick smirk against your neck, teeth teasing along your carotid now. “But all you can think about is my cock, ain’t that right?”

Your stomach falls away. Everything firm inside you turns to goo as he laughs, knowing he’s right.

“So needy,” he taunts you, holding your hip tighter as his length begins to thicken against your ass. “Had all day to ask for it.”

You don’t respond, tongue tied and more uninterested in your essay than ever.

“Just lookin’ for a distraction now,” he teases lightly. “The more you put it off, the harder it’ll be to get it done, baby.”

“I know.”

“If you know.” He hooks a finger over the waistband of your shorts. “Then finish it.”

“S’not that simple,” you whine, rolling your hips over his lap. A sharp puff of air warms the back of your neck, so you do it again. His hand tightens around your jaw.

“Just a hundred words, right?” he coaxes gruffly. “Come on now, I’ll make it worth your while.”

You feel his thick cock beneath his sweats, stiff and pressing between the crease of your thighs, melting what’s left of your resolve. You want to grind down against it. To pull your soft sleep shorts to the side and let him sink inside with no more pretence. But you put your hands on the desk, eyes on the screen, and Joel slides his warm palms beneath the hem of your t-shirt. Floats them over the curve of your stomach, the soft flesh around your ribs, waking thousands of tiny hairs that cover your skin until his fingers meet your chest, and he cups your breasts.

You shiver, lids growing heavy as he squeezes and tickles at your skin. Your nipples harden to peaks against his rough palms, and he sighs at the feeling, face resting against the back of your neck as he plays.

“Fuck,” you sigh, voice a broken buzz in your throat as he pinches one of your nipples between his thumb and forefinger. “I thought you wanted me to write.”

“I do,” Joel murmurs unconvincingly. “A hundred words, go on.”

Hands like lead on the table, it feels like an impossible task. Even more than it did ten minutes ago. You force yourself to lift your fingers to the keyboard, vision sharpening as you look for where you left off. You try to shut him out, try to ignore the way his tongue warms the skin on your neck, the way the hairs on his thighs tickle against yours, and begin to write.

But he doesn’t make it easy.

The second you finish the first sentence one of his hands drifts down your stomach to cup your pussy over your shorts. You flinch, heart galloping in your chest when he sighs in your ear.

“Joel,” you whimper, pleading already. “I can’t if you…”

“You can,” he soothes. The warmth of his palm is suffocating, so hot against where you’re already wet and wanting. Thick fingers press against the fabric, nudging it between your slick folds until it goes damp. “Just ignore me, baby.”

“Easier said than done,” you reply. You type five more words, chest rattling with heavy breaths as he paws at you, thumbing at your clit through your shorts.

His breath is hot and heavy against your neck and his soft curls tickle your skin as you try to focus.

“Ignore me,” he repeats, and you squeak as he tilts you forward. A rush of breath spills from your mouth, chest flush to the desk, ass suspended above his lap as he shifts behind you. And when he pulls you back down, you sigh pathetically over the fact that he’s pushed his sweats down.

The full weight of his length presses against you, nestled between the rounded flesh of your ass, and you manage to mumble his name.

“Just—” You’re panting now; considering begging. “—I can do this later. I will finish it later, I swear, just—”

Joel nudges your shorts to the side and presses a finger between your folds. A ragged gasp stutters out of you, finger jammed against the keyboard. A steady stream of kkkkkkkkkkkkkkk fills a line of the document as he smears your wetness up to your clit.

“Fuck,” you mumble, hips tilting forward, trying to chase the feeling.

“None of that,” he tuts quickly, other hand slipping down and pinching the skin at the inside of your thigh. You’ve only backspaced half of the k’s when he slips two fingers inside you. “Come on, now.”

Thirty words fly as he crooks his fingers inside you. Slow and gentle, thumb rubbing messy circles against your clit as he works you open.

“That’s it,” he coos, pressing a third finger inside. Your cunt sucks desperately at his fingers, the skin of your face warming as you catch a glimpse of your reflection on the laptop screen. Jaw hanging low, a silent prayer for relief written across the open slant of your mouth. “My smart girl. Knew they didn’t give you that degree for nothin’.”

You gasp and swat at his wrist, but a satisfied little smile cracks your face for a moment when he laughs. Only for it to fall seconds later when he lays a sharp bite to the back of your shoulder. You moan, voice cracking around his name, rutting desperately against his hand.

“You can do it,” he flatters you, sickly sweet and entirely convincing as he strokes at your insides. Curling and stretching until you’re turning to a wet trembling mess in his lap, wobbling through half-assed sentences that you aren’t sure even match up with your essay outline anymore.

“Good,” Joel murmurs. “That’s good.”

“Don’t look,” you slur out, heart pounding at the idea of him reading anything you’ve written in this state. “It’s f-for your class, you can’t look.”

“Not lookin’.” He noses at the back of your ear. Presses an open-mouthed kiss to the hinge of your jaw. “Just lookin’ at you, m’always just lookin’ at you.”

“I’ll finish it.” You switch up your tactic now. Voice low and breathy, the back of your head resting heavy on his shoulder, eyes longing to close. “Tomorrow, I’ll write it—”

“Tomorrow?” His thumb drags harder on your clit.

“Yes,” you gasp, stomach tensing. You feel a bit floaty all of a sudden. Locked out of your own mind, all thoughts spilling from between your thighs as desire grips you, consumes you. “Please, just…”

“What, baby?” he prompts. “Say it.”

“Just let me sit on your cock,” you groan. “Please, I can’t think right now, I’ll finish it, I promise.”

“You fuckin’ promise—Christ,” he grumbles, fingers drifting from your tight clutch. “Just a little more, baby, for me.”

You don’t even really know how it happens after that. Ears roaring, skin tight, everything is a blur as you write and write and write and he presses his leaking tip between your folds works you down onto his length. Hands everywhere, so warm, so rough, holding your thighs, your waist, your breasts, your shorts to the side. Slower when your gasps spin higher, you think, always knowing when to ease up, when the burn gets too much too quick.

Joel grips your thighs, prying them apart until your calves are on the outside of his, and then he’s shifting his legs open wide, giving your own no choice but to follow. You feel the full weight of him in this position. The long, thick stretch of his cock inside you as your legs dangle listlessly over his lap, toes straining and failing to reach the floor. You can do nothing but rest heavily across his thighs, those hands still everywhere all at once, and whine pitifully as your walls spasm and clench around him, coil inside pulling tighter and tighter.

Vision waning, the text on your screen warbles as Joel slips the pad of his finger against your clit and begins to play with it. Soft little rubs that have you going tense and leaning forward on the table, braced on your elbows and grinding down into his lap, desperate for release, for movement, anything. It feels like your brain is splintering into a thousand tiny pieces inside your skull.

“You’re so wet,” Joel rasps, forehead heavy against your shoulder blade as he groans. “Pretty pussy’s drippin’ all over me, honey. You really need it that bad?”

You say something you think, mouth moving and eyes rolling as his hips shift up in a weak little thrust. Just one.

“Keep goin’.” He sounds pained, half-drunk as the words stumble out of him.

Your mind slips further from your grasp and you’re typing pure gibberish. Slurring messes of letters cloaked in perfect punctuation. Your fingers fly across the keys, painting commas and full stops and semi colons around complete and utter bullshit as your cunt flutters and your belly stirs.

His finger glides and his cock pulses and your vision darkens and you come. Shoulders hunched, table digging into your forearms, you fold forward and cry out as an agonisingly brief orgasm rips through you.

It’s over before it’s even begun, but Joel groans and offers a shallow thrust, your cry turning to a gasp as he grips your thigh for dear life.

“Oh good girl,” he murmurs, fingers slowing against your nerves, not wanting to overwhelm. “Fuckin’ squeezing me so tight, baby.”

“Joel.” There are tears in your eyes now. Liquid frustration that pools against your waterline and threatens to spill when he still doesn’t fuck you how you need him to.

“How much left?” he asks roughly, rocking his hips against yours in a steady pace now. Gentle, rolling movements that snag on the heels of your orgasm and hold it close.

“Huh?”

“How many words?”

“I don’t…” Your eyelids flutter. “I don’t know.”

“Shit, sweetheart,” he laughs a little then, rueful but not unkind. “That’s gonna be hell to edit.”

With a furious groan you slam the laptop closed, the sharp smack of metal on metal filling your ears as he grips your hips and really starts to fuck you.

It’s not fast though, not rough. Just deep, lingering strokes that grind against the end of you and nudge you stumbling toward the edge. He pinches your clit between the tips of his middle and ring fingers, rubbing slow drags up and down against the hood like that. Moaning and sweating, you slip your hand over his. Press lower and let your fingers glide around his girth, thick and vascular between your thighs, hot skin wetter every time he pulls out of you.

“Feel that?” Joel pants, teeth nipping at the top of your spine. “You’re creamin’ for me, baby. Fuck, I—I need to taste it.”

“Shit—oh god.”

He grips your wrist and drags it up, chin harsh against your shoulder as he sucks your fingers into his mouth.

The groan he lets out is filthy as his hot tongue snakes out to lick the webbing between your fingers, and you tip your head to watch his eyes roll back. His thighs tremble beneath you, but you can’t be sure it’s not just the vibrations of your own body tricking you.

But no, it’s him. His hips stutter against yours, deep plunges stilting into shallow movements, and he stalls deep inside your cunt for a second on the end of every thrust, as if his brain is short-circuiting.

You hook your fingers in his mouth, the tips digging into the gums behind his teeth, and tug him back to reality. He nips at your fingers and moans, hand falling heavy between your thighs again. And he doesn’t stop now; keeps pushing and pinching and fucking and grinding until your pussy is pulling tight and slick around his length and your fingers are fanned loose and shaky across his face, and you can hardly breathe except to say Joel or please or oh my god.

“Can feel it,” he grunts breathlessly, skin smacking against yours in a sharp staccato beat. “Deep breath, baby, c’mon, let me have it.”

“Your teeth,” you gasp feverishly. “Bite me again.”

“Fuck,” he snarls and then he’s grating the hard line of his incisors along your shoulder.

The sweet pinch of his canines digging into your back sets your cunt aflutter around him, mouth hung open in silent ecstasy as he fucks you full of his seed and you suck it in deep, tight with longing, still panting and high when it begins to drip from where you’re connected, spooling around his cock and smearing between your thighs and his.

His chest heaves against your back. Chest hair damp wet sweat, dripping through your thin shirt until it can’t decide whether to cling to his skin or yours. There’s an ache at the base of your spine, maybe a muscle pulled, and his thumb presses into the flesh there as if he can sense it.

Sounds come back slowly. Joni’s finished and the needle tracks around the runout groove on the record, a little crackle flaring every few seconds where the two channels join. Joel’s breathing too, rough against your shoulder, harmonising with the wet sound of his lips peeling from your skin.

You tilt your head to the side.

Wild eyed, cunt-struck, Joel knocks his nose against yours. Groans low when you flick your tongue out to graze across his bottom lip. He’s bitten it rough and ragged and red, and you want to soothe the sting. His glasses are on top of his head, smudged lenses tucked amidst wild fluffy curls.

You try to kiss him, hard and wet, but he stops you with a hand to your jaw. Cradles your face and strokes your cheekbone and wipes the spittle from your lips before kissing you lightly. Chaste and gentle, like the two of you are ten and have never kissed anyone before, have never been brave enough to use your tongues.

That invisible bleed in your chest drips heavier. You picture a thick spurt of red against your chest cavity as he kisses the corners of your mouth, the tip of your nose, your eyelids.

“You good?” he asks quietly.

You nod, smiling when his lips catch and drag across your skin with the movement of your head.

A moment passes like this. Searching kisses dotted over your smiling face. The swell of your cheeks, the ends of your eyebrows.

“Sometimes I feel like you aren’t real,” Joel confesses. A bare bones whisper that tickles the skin between your eyebrows, where his lips rest now. “Like you might just melt away if I don’t hold on tight enough. Disappear if I look away too long, and I’ll be stuck tryna convince myself that you were ever really here.”

Twisted up in his arms, you can feel the way his heart batters against his chest, thrashing through to vibrate against your back. He might as well be plucking the admission straight from your own mouth.

“I’m real,” you murmur against his neck. “I’m here, it’s real.”

“Me too,” he says. Something wet tickles your skin, but it’s gone in a second. Rubbed over by his thumb, soothed with another kiss.

I love you, you think, but when you speak it comes out as, “No melting.”

Joel laughs softly. Kisses you again. “No melting.”

Thursday.

“It was too much.”

“It was fine.”

“I said the word grateful three times.”

“Four, actually.” You chew the inside of your cheek and shrug apologetically. “I counted.”

“Jesus,” Joel sighs, reaching up to a drag a hand over his face.

He’s pulled his desk chair all the way across the office. Tie loosened and top buttons undone, he slumps in it a little. His thick knees almost brush against yours where you sit in his armchair.

“Hey, I liked it,” you smile, bumping his knee. “It was nice - shows you care.”

“Well, you ain’t all that hard to please,” Joel smarts, lip quirking up into a sly grin.

Mouth open in a scoff, you feign offence, dragging your laptop from your satchel and making a show of ignoring him.

“How the mighty fall,” he continues, sighing dramatically and tilting his head over the back of the chair. The light coming in through the window hits his face just right, and the grey hairs in his curls shine. “Grateful to have been your professor… asshole.”

“Don’t be precious,” you laugh softly. “You’re just embarrassed because you said you were going to miss us.”

“That was a lie,” Joel tuts, brushing you off with a hand in the air, biting back that grin. “I ain’t gon’ miss any of you assholes. And when those final papers come in—” He taps a finger against the top of your laptop “—I’ll be sayin’ my prayers that any of you can string a worthwhile sentence together.”

“If you’re lucky,” you drawl, batting his hand away. “You’ll teach some of us again next year. And when that semester finishes, you’ll say all of that shit again, because you’re a sap, Joel Miller.”

Joel stares at you for a moment, face softening, and then clicks his tongue on the roof of his mouth. “Smart ass.”

“And you love it,” you quip easily, only balking a moment later when the word hangs awkwardly in the air. Hands pausing on your keyboard, you glance up, neck hot, only to find Joel watching you still. Face suspended in a small smile; eyes light as he nods.

“I do,” he says after a moment. “But you’re on thin ice, wise guy.”

He plucks a book from his desk and spreads it open on his lap, either not noticing or simply not caring as you watch on, slack jawed. I do.

After a moment, Joel taps his foot against yours again. “Write.”

So, sucking in a breath, you do. Time passes and rain starts to drizzle against the window as you write, and Joel reads. Having forgotten to put a record on like normal, he hums lightly under his breath; some tune you can’t place but still nod along to. Every few minutes he turns his page, and the sound sends a shiver down your spine.

You hate the way he holds books. Hate the way he cradles the spines, thumb hooked around the footnotes to hold his page. Hate the way his fingers trace the stanzas as he reads, tender and patient, and always afraid to miss something. Hate most the way the tendons on the backs of his hands flex when he turns the page. How the veins around them go fat and blue the longer he does this, as if all the blood in his body is sprinting towards the words. It’s a dangerous sort of eroticism, watching him read. You hate how much you love it.

In need of reprieve, you focus on your own hands. Crack tired knuckles and stretch out cramps and aches, taking a moment to peer over at his desk. The picture frame you’d once been so curious about is propped on the edge of it once again.

You can see Joel behind the glass panel, sporting a shit-eating grin with Sarah, clad in a graduation gown, tucked proudly against his chest. Taken the day she finished high school, you know now. And you’d never noticed it that first time, months ago, but Ellie’s face rests in the corner of the picture. Pink tongue stuck out and eyes pinched shut; she’d snuck her head into the frame at the last second apparently.

You gaze fondly at it, and feel that familiar warmth in your chest over the fact that he’s put it back out. No more hiding.

“What’re you lookin’ at?” Joel glances over his shoulder, and then smiles.

“It’s a good photo,” you say. “You look so happy there.”

“I was. It’s one of my favourites,” he nods, adjusting his glasses on his nose. He seems to consider you for a moment, eyes flicking around your face, fingers fidgeting with the corner of his page. “Hey, I uh… Sarah actually called yesterday.”

He pauses. Takes an unusually deep breath and folds the book shut.

“Okay.” You blink, confused. “Is she alright?”

“Yeah.” He nods quickly. “Yeah, yeah, she was uh, she was askin’ about the holidays, and if—”

The office door creaks open, and Joel’s mouth seals shut as Rachel walks hastily inside, rushed words filling the small room.

“Joel, sorry, I need to grab—oh.”

There’s an odd pause after the words catch in her throat. A moment of uncomfortable stillness as the three of you inhale all at once, glancing around the room as if seeing it for the first time.

You and Joel aren’t touching, but your knees rest close, one of his feet in the space between yours on the carpet. Laptop propped on your knees, your final essay still lays open with a stream of edits pasted through the margins, cursor blinking at the end of the word nostos.

Joel, tie undone and sleeves rolled up, looks painfully casual in your presence.

“Sorry.” Rachel blinks, hovering awkwardly as the door clicks shut behind her. “I didn’t realise you had a… a meeting today?” The end of her sentence flares up, as if she’s confused, phrasing it like a dubious little question.

You offer a smile in her direction and hope it comes across as relaxed, a little encroaching even; as if you are the one who has interrupted; the one who should not be here.

“It’s fine,” Joel supplies easily, straightening in his chair to give her his full attention. His face gives nothing away. Stoic and calm, the way you’d imagine him to be if you weren’t here at all. “Everything alright?”

“Yes,” she says, frowning like she’s affronted by the question. Looks between the two of you again, listless fingers curling at her sides. “Just came to get that Livy copy back

You look back at your screen and will yourself to type something. To appear casual, studious, as if your heart isn’t lodged in the base of your throat.

“Sure,” he nods, gesturing vaguely toward his desk. “It’s in one of the drawers on the left.”

Rachel nods, walking over to the desk, and as her back turns you spare a glance at Joel. Find him already looking at you, eyebrows pulled down a little. Pink lips mouth It’s fine, married with a soft nod of his head, and for the second time in seconds you attempt a smile.

There’s the sound of wood sliding against wood, and then a soft, tired kind of silence. The lack of sound seems to swell, the air in the room thinning, your eyes focusing on Joel’s fingers on the armrest of his chair, tap tap tap, Rachel’s unruly curls somewhere past that, her face downturned, looking at something. Wary breaths held in unison, synced heart beats racing. It’s fine, it’s fine, no melting.

“Is this some kind of joke?”

Your head snaps up. Joel turns in his chair and begins to ask what’s wrong, but all that ends up coming from him is a sort of choked noise, rough around the edges, and breathless in the middle. Chest on fire, you let yourself look past him to where she stands.

Her gaze is hard as she stares Joel down from across the room. A slip of blue; soft material visible between her fingers, held up for a stunned chorus to see.

Your hearing deafens a little as you look on, motionless, a vague memory of birthday boy and got your cute little panties all soaked thinkin’ ‘bout my cock? playing in your mind. Of a damp patch on his shirt as he tucked blue into his desk drawer.

Joel says Rachel’s name, you think. Can see the way his jaw moves, the way her dark eyes sharpen, flitting back and forth between the two of you. And then, like a volcanic eruption or the swell beneath a wave, realisation crests the hill and It’s fine cracks and crumbles and turns to dust in your grasp. You don’t know what she knows, or how she knows, you just know that she does.

“You… what is this?” Rachel’s face shifts into something uncomfortable. A warped, grotesque shot at a smile. But as her lips curl upward, eyebrows down, it’s nothing but a contorted mess that blurs endlessly between confusion, surprise, and then horror. “This… her? She’s the reason you—”

“Rachel.” Joel’s entire body is wound tight. You can see the edge of his jaw from where you sit; the way his shoulders pull back, tight he watches her.

Your body seems to hold itself together for a moment. Breath caught on an inhale, lungs expanded, eyes frozen on the hard line of his nose, the arm of his glasses—places you feel safe to hover. But then she speaks again, and everything lurches back into focus. Like a needle scratching on a record, or tires squealing as a car pulls to an abrupt stop at a red—the words make you cringe, chest deflating and face crumpling.

“Jesus Christ, Joel,” she’s saying, and her voice raises, louder to match the disbelief in her tone. “You… she’s a fucking student.”

When the fear hits it doesn’t come slowly. It strikes hard and solid; an icy sheet of dread that sucks at your fingers and numbs your extremities. Cool and abrupt, it sinks to your bones and promises that you’ll never again feel anything but this. It laughs in the face of your warm kind month, pressing its chilled ice picks to the back of your eyes until they burn.

Her words hang heavy in the air, thick weights that press down on three sets of shoulders, and you have never wanted anything the way you want to see Joel’s face right now. To look at him and believe that this isn’t as bad as you know it to be. See that mouth tell you it’s fine and remember how it tastes.

Instead, a fear-stricken Orpheus, you will yourself not to look at him. Despite that longing, the way your arms beg to stretch out, to hold and be held, you do not look. No, you don’t think you could suffer the double death of both knowing this is happening and seeing him know it too.

In his place, you let your eyes turn to Rachel, and find that she already stares at you, small mouth cracked ajar in incredulity.

Mind whirring, racing, stumbling; fumbling to pin back together the pieces of who you once were in her eyes and who you are now. This woman you admire so, whose career path you’ve dreamt of, whose wit and quirk has propelled you, invigorated you.

It’s agonising to watch—the way her face morphs into something so unfamiliar as she looks at you now. An expression that once held only admiration, kindness, marred here by an inexplicable sense of pity. Not hate, or contempt, which perhaps would be easier to handle. Easier than the way those dark orbs go round and solemn with worry as they fall upon your anguished frame. It’s a slap in the face; camaraderie washed down the drain like the dregs of a long overdue bath, as she grips your soiled underwear in her fist.

Joel says her name, you’ve lost count of how many times he’s said it now, and she spurns his attempt at placation like a snake. Fast and deadly, venom dribbling from her tongue.

“Someone else?” she says, and her voice is like never before. Mirthless and cold, fury laced through every word. With a sharp jerk of her elbow, she tosses the underwear across the room. They land against Joel’s chest, caught silently in his fist. “You’re fucking sick.”

“This isn’t what you think it is—” Joel starts, and you think you hear his voice shake.

“It isn’t?” She laughs cruelly at that. “You haven’t been sleeping with one of our students?”

The cursor blinks on your screen. Nostos, nostos, nostos, nostos.

“Listen, can we talk about this somewhere else?” he asks. “Not like this, I—”

“Oh, is this not a convenient time for you?” she scowls. “Jesus Christ.”

The urge to speak bubbles in your chest. You don’t even know what you’re going to say until the words are spilling from your lips, disjointed and warbled, a voice that doesn’t even sound like your own.

“I pursued him,” you say.

You can feel them looking at you. Can hear the way you must sound to her, like some kid and not a woman who’s almost thirty years old and just as much to blame. But you can’t stop it.

“We’re both adults. He never made me do anything I didn’t—”

Joel says your name sharply. His fist, in the periphery of your downturned gaze, grips your balled up underwear so tight that the blue is entirely invisible within the thick masts of his fingers.

You suck in a breath, and it feels like the last bit of air in the room disappears into your lungs, so you hold it there. Keep it safe inside and figure that if all three of you were to suffocate then at least the truth, and all the foul consequences that come with it, would die here with you.

“Can you give us a minute?”

Silence falls in the lull after those words, and it takes a moment for you to look up, finally. To realise that the double death wasn’t in looking at Joel, but in understanding that he’d spoken these words to you, not her.

Eyes locked with his, you feel the fear move to your side. Hang low until it ebbs and flows in the space beneath your ribs—a sharp ache with no end in sight. He looks tired; resigned. Mouth thin and downturned, cheeks splashed with red.

You think you must say something. Some fumbling, awkward acknowledgement, because Rachel is giving you that look again and you can’t bear it. Can’t stand those eyes, that misplaced pity.

You collect your things, hands numb as you pile them into your bag and head for the door, skin prickling in defence against the silence that follows your movements.

Outside his office, alone in the long corridor, you know you should go. Should follow the wall down the stairs, out to your car, and not look back. Can you give us a minute? But that sharp ache leaves you cowering against the wall, limbs heavy, ear to his door.

“Rach,” Joel says softly, and it’s so familiar that your stomach rolls, lids fluttering closed. “It isn’t what you think, just let me explain, alright? We met before the term began; before she was my student. Before.”

“And then?”

“What?”

“I said, and then?” Rachel’s voice is steely. “You met her before and, what, you saw her in class and decided it was fine to let it continue? You—”

“Everything was consensual. You know me, I would never—”

“It’s not as simple as that, and you know it. Did you not think about what would happen if you were found out? Her credibility will be destroyed, Joel.”

“I know—”

“I mean for fucksake, her first major presentation was given at a conference where you were the keynote speaker. How do you think this will look?”

“Fuck, I know. Can you keep your voice down, please.”

There’s a brief silence. You hear shuffling, feet against carpet, and a dull spike of fear flares in the back of your mind. The idea of getting caught a second time, eavesdropping from outside the door. Against better judgement, you don’t move, and Rachel speaks again.

“You’re wrong,” she says. “I don’t know you. I… you aren’t the man I thought you were.”

You don’t hear Joel’s response over the drumming in your ears. Hot blood thrashes and roars inside your body, veins pounding with terror. Hands shake damp and weary at your sides, thinking hard, hard, grasping for solution, for the chance to say I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, this is my fault.

But he must have said something because then you hear it. A low fragment of a human voice, words spoken clear as day. They slice through your ears and have you peeling away from the door, swallowed by a white-hot longing to disappear as you stumble down the hall, the stairs, until you’re sucking in cold air on the pavement outside.

It’s raining hard now. Thin spray that comes at you sideways, lashing at your face and blinding you. You curl your back to the downpour and search thoughtlessly for your car, hands outstretched, those words of hers ricocheting off the inside of your skull.

When you find it, you press your key into the door and slump inside, and you still can’t avoid it. She might as well be standing right by the door, peering in at you. Shock in the jut of her brow, disappointment in the slant of her mouth as she whispers those words over and over through the crack in your window.

"I don’t care if you love her, Joel. I have to report you.”

refs:

joni mitchell's 1971 Blue album. [life changer]

the hollow men by t. s. elliot [fat juicy banger of a poem]

orpheus and eurydice from metamorphoses by ovid, tr. by a. d. melville

thank you for reading x

#my writing #fic: a lover's pinch #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut

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buckys-arm-and-rios-dagger · 9 months ago

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Post-Mission TLC

Beefy!Bucky x GN!Reader

Description: Just you and Bucky, in the tub, and you taking care of him

Warnings: unapologetic fluff!, Nonsexual nudity, me-typical gratuitous use of pet-names, Everyone is alive, Bucky is an Avenger, cuddling,

A/N: I've been writing a lot of hurt/comfort as of late, so let's get some No Hurt Just Comfort.

((18+ only below the cut please and thank you!!))

Bucky stumbled through the door of your shared apartment of the Avengers Compound, exhausted

The mission had been grueling, and he wanted nothing more than to collapse in bed beside you

You broke into a huge smile when you saw your boyfriend, racing to him and wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Welcome home, Sweet Boy,” you kissed his lips, “how’re you doing?”

Bucky let out a little groan, and you noticed that he was leaning against you

He never slept well on missions, you knew that.

But what you didn’t know was that he hadn’t been able to sleep longer than about three hours collectively over the last two days

When taking the HYDRA base he, Steve, and Sam had ended in a long string of guerilla attacks from their goons, leaving all of them taken out.

You looked at him with concern when you looked him in the eyes, “Baby, are you okay?”

“Tired,” he hummed, fighting to keep his eyes open.

You took his face in both hands and stroked his cheekbones.

“Oh, Baby Boy…” you cooed, brushing his hair behind his ear, “c’mon, Buck. Why don’t I run you a bath, and after we can get all cozy in bed?”

He hummed, and you helped him kick off his boots before carefully removing the harnesses, belts, and holsters from his body.

“Come on, Baby. Follow me.” You took his hand and led him to the bathroom.

You sat him down on the toilet, turned on the water, and began to gently remove the layers of leather and Kevlar until he was bare chested in front of you.

As you worked you caught your boyfriend looking at you with sleepy, loving eyes, and pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose.

“My handsome soldier,” you stroked his cheek with your thumb, “I love you.”

Bucky gave you that dopey, lop-sided grin you couldn't get enough of, “l’ve’y’too.”

You smiled at his slurred words and helped him to his feet, helping him out of his socks, pants, and boxers.

“C'mon Baby Boy,” you said, gently helping him into the tub, “let's get you washed up.”

“Get’n’wi’me?” he asked, giving you the biggest puppy dog eyes you've ever seen.

You nodded and slipped off your clothes, “of course, Honey.”

Once you were fully bare, you sat down in the tub behind him, pulling him into your arms.

It was a little difficult, since Bucky was so much larger than you, but eventually you managed to get him nestled against you, his back pressed against your chest

You grabbed the plastic cup that you kept by the side of the tub for instances like this and smiled, “alright Sweet Boy, head back. I’m gonna wet your hair, okay?”

He did as instructed and you dipped the cup in the water, shielding his eyes and pouring it in his hair over and over.

Bucky’s eyes drifted shut and he melted at the feeling.

When his hair was sufficiently wet, you grabbed his shampoo and began to massage the soap into his scalp

He sunk down as you continued to scrub.

Bucky loved the way that your hands felt in his long locks, how your nails gently scratched against his headIt made him melt

“Alright, Baby Boy,” you cooed, “let me rinse, okay?”

Bucky nodded, and the warm water was poured on his head again, your hands working to rinse him, and your lips peppering little kisses along the scarred skin of his back.

Once his hair was free from bubbles, Bucky felt you running your hands through his dark locks, gently finger-combing the knots out

His hair had gotten so much longer since he’d joined the team, growing well past his shoulders and making it hard to keep it free from tangles on missions

(He was still too nervous about having scissors or clippers near his head to cut it short again, despite his wants)

You always made sure to take extra care with his hair when he returned, and it made him melt.

Always so gentle, so loving and tender with your touches

Bucky could cry, it felt so good.

He didn’t even realized he’d dozed off while you were working until you nudged him awake

You had a soft washcloth in your hand, you’d washed his back while he’d napped.

“I know you’re tired, Baby Boy,” you cooed, kissing his shoulder, “but you need to stay up just a little longer, okay? I gotta finish getting you washed up, you’ll sleep a lot better once you’re nice and clean.”

He nodded, blinking sleep out of his eyes as you helped him turn to face you

You gently washed the dirt and soot from his face, ending with a a little peck on his scruffy cheek

His eyes were getting heavy as you cleaned every inch of his body with the utmost care, so once you were done you took him in your arms and let him rest for a few minutes before helping him out of the tub.

You towel dried him off and guided him to sit on the closed lid of the toilet.

“Alright, Honey,” you smiled, “I’m gonna get you some clothes–”

“Nooooooo,” Bucky whined, looking at you with puppy dog eyes again, “wan’skin-on-skin…”

“Alright, Baby, whatever you want.” He made a happy little hum, “I’m gonna comb your hair and then we can lay down, okay?”

He stayed so still for you as you carefully worked the knots out of his long, dark locks, finishing by spraying some leave-in conditioner into his hair.

“C’mon, Bucky,” you took his hand and led him back into your bedroom, “come lay down with me.”

While you turned down your bed you handed him the water bottle he kept on his nightstand

“Can I get you to drink something for me, Sweetheart? We can lay down in a minute.”

Bucky took some long sips off of it as you got settled in bed. You smiled.

“C’mon Darling, come lay down with me.”

You took him in your arms the second he laid down, pulling his large, warm body to you.

Bucky laid down on top of you, and you let your one hand rub his broad back while the other stroked his hair

He was asleep within minutes, his peaceful little snores filling the room.

You smiled softly and kissed his forehead, cradling his head against your chest.

“Good night, Baby Boy. Sleep well, I love you.”

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fluff #buckybarnes #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #james barnes #bucky barnes x reader #beefy!bucky

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melancholic-minx · 2 months ago

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ᴿⁱᵇᵇᵘⁿ ᵂᵉᵉᵏ ᴰᵃʸ ⁰.² |ᶜᵒⁿˢᵗʳᵃⁱⁿᵗ

Content warning for ;; Bondage, Strangulation, Suggestive poses & expressions, drooling, NO NSFW

﹫𝐌𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐜♤ ₘᵢₙₓ

───────────────

♥︎ 𖤂 ⭟ ːː

﹫𝐌𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐜|♤ ₘᵢₙₓ

Hello...! Hi...! I posted this extremely late, I'm sorry (´TωT`) I had it finished by last night (six hours past my usual bedtime, might I add) but I was so tired I couldn't manage a proper description, forgive me.

Anyways! This post is a bit spicier than the last but not technically NSFW, so I think I'm in the clear? If not, please inform me so I could know to add 18+ to the description and/or the bio of my blog.

I honestly can't believe how many people have seen my last post! Like, a million I think! I'm still in shock at how my notes have skyrocketed, so please be patient if I sound less than gratuitous, the metaphorical brownie with metaphorical substances has not yet metaphorically hit. But yeah! Here's my favorite gross wet lovers! I hate them... I want to put them on a clothing line... stay tuned, because I have something special planned for day three of Ribbun Week, it'll really knock your socks off!

EDIT : I TITLED THIS WRONG, IM SO PEEVED-

#the amazing digital circus #tadc #digital art #fanart #tadc fanart #ribbunweek2024 #ribbun #tadc gangle #tadc jax #jax x gangle #gangle x jax #gangle #jax

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taintandviolent · 1 year ago

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feed my Frankenstein ; Frankenkyle x reader

summary: stripper!reader decides to dress up like a zombie for Halloween, and when the girls bring Kyle to the strip club…. He makes the decision for himself that he’s going to be with his kind. w a r n i n g s: 5k words! stripper!reader, female reader, cunnilingus, rough sex, violence, mentions of blood, biting, graphic descriptions. kyle being a big, horny zombie who doesn't understand his strength. a/n: [🎃 part of lizzie's halloween fics! 🎃] probably some errors, whoops. I didn't want to label this as dead dove don't eat, but Kyle literally tries to eat reader, so be warned, I guess??? also my ending is very... cliff-hangery. don't come for me, this fic took on a life of its own very quickly. thank you for reading if you did!!! full fic & taglist under cut!↓ / ao3 link here! / ♪ recommended playlist here! ♪

You dab a stippling sponge against your neck, hiding an edge with a speckle of grey makeup. You’d put a lot of effort into your silly little zombie look - but it was Halloween after all, and hardly any of the other girls had dressed up. Sure, they’d started out in low-effort costumes of Dorothy Gale and Snow White, but as soon as those came off, they were just their normal selves again. You… not so much. You went the extra mile. You’d spent hours applying prosthetics on your limbs, and painting your flesh to mimic the rotting corpses seen in cult classic horror films. Specks of blood around your perfectly lined lips, uneven skin, stitches from your neck down the front of your body.

It wouldn’t be everyone’s cup of tea, you knew. Some of them would lose their boners at the sight. It was time for your first shift. The club was rowdy, you heard it from behind the door. You lean against it, gulp down the last of your water, and fluff your hair before spinning on your red, patent leather heels and pulling open the door.

“I don’t know if this is such a good idea, Madison…” Zoe confesses, nervously. She holds onto Kyle’s arm tightly, guiding him around a booth like an elderly man. He was already entranced by the vibrant lights that swept back and forth in shades of orange and green. It reminded him of his show. Colours….

“Oh, please.” With a roll of her eyes, Madison flips her blonde hair over her shoulder. “This is the best place to put a braindead man… look, they’re everywhere.”

Men cluster around the stage, watching hungrily as women take their clothes off, gyrating their hips close enough to their faces that they could reach out and take bites out of their full asses. The bouncer in the corner makes sure that doesn’t happen, though.

Over the PA, a loud voice says: “Alright! Put your hands together for our resident nerdy girl, our very own reanimated sexpot…”

As though it was on hinges, Kyle’s head swings heavily to face the stage. H

“Look, he’s already fitting in.” Madison nips.

You prance forward, reaching for the pole in the centre of the stage. Men holler your name, the few regulars that came every night you were working. You’d earned yourself a reputation as the nerdy girl because of your penchant for dressing up on the themed nights. Your hips roll to the beat of the song, coming daringly close to the hands that hold dollar bills. When they don’t get the chance to slip them into your outfit, they flutter at your feet, decorating the stage. You undo the tie of your shirt, revealing white bikini with gratuitous blood spatter. You’d done that yourself.

You wrap one leg around the pole, latching onto it. As it spins, you reach behind your back, undoing the tie of your top. Your breasts fall free, nipples hardening in the air conditioning. You hold the bra out proudly, smiling as the hoots and cheers fill the room.

“C’mon,” she starts, taking hold of Kyle’s thick wrist. His skin is always slightly cooler than everyone else’s. She remembers how cold the inside of his mouth was when they first — She blinks away the thoughts, actually disgusted by the idea. After all, she’d never really wanted to fuck a dead guy…

“Hey!” “Watch it, sweetheart!” “Get outta’ the way, you’re blockin’ the view, toots!”

Madison ignores the heckling, and continues to the front, pressing her bony hips against the lip of the stage.

“Hey! Dead bitch!”

Her voice is loud enough that it carries over the music, and you furrow your brow. She wasn’t wrong, but the bitch part seemed unnecessary. Still, you make your way over to the cluster of them, and bend at the waist to hear her.

“Yeah - what?” You ask, still swaying to the song.

“This is our little zombie — ”

“His name is Kyle,” The other girl interrupts pointedly. Madison throws a look towards the other girl, who nods with a fake smile. Truly, she didn’t care what you called him. As long as she didn't have to deal with him, she was happy.

“Kyle — and he needs a babysitter. He’s a little…” she makes a face, stretching her mouth out in a sneer. You knit your brows together again, unsure what that means.

Kyle, you think to yourself. What a frat boy name. In fact, he looks like a frat boy with really really good makeup. Full head of curly blonde hair, dark eyes, strong but soft features… looks like he can absolutely devour a keg.

He’s wearing an open black shirt and jeans, and beneath the black shirt, you can see raised flesh, scars like he was put back together. Funny that you’d chosen to do a dance number to Feed my Frankenstein.

“Do your job and keep him entertained, okay?” She pulls the peeking string of your thong far enough out to freely press a one hundred dollar bill against your hip and lets go. It snaps back against your skin, hard enough to sting. You wince.

Before you have time to protest, the girls are walking back towards the entrance without their little zombie in tow. One of them casts a woeful glance over her shoulder, and you’re left wondering why if she cares so much, why was she still walking away? You fill your lungs with air, exhale and lower yourself down onto your haunches.

“Hey baby,” you coo, wrapping a single blonde curl around your index finger. It’s angel-soft, and bounces back as you let go, straightening up. He seems to melt towards your touch, starved for it. “I like your costume.”

He watches as your ample cleavage sways with the gentle motion of your body. He repeats the word back to you, laboriously. “Cos…tume….”

“That’s right,” you say, running your hands over your thighs as you stand upright. The long heels of the shoes elongate your legs, making you tower over the club’s patrons. “I like it, it’s cute.”

Kyle watches wordlessly as your hands glide over your body, carefully skipping over the stitches at your knees, along your stomach, and finally up to the long stitch around your neck, which to him is holding your head on. Kyle’s eyes blink repeatedly with recognition.

You dip down, reaching for his hand. The crowd woooo’s as you hand him the string of your skirt. He grips it hard before looking at it deeply. You take one step back, flashing a coy expression to the men in the front row. Another step, and the tie begins to slip through the bow, unravelling. Another step and the skirt falls to your feet. A cacophony of approval fills your ears.

You’re in nothing but the blood-spattered bikini bottoms now, and you sink to your knees again, flashing Kyle a bright smile. He blinks, your skirt awkwardly hanging from his hand by the string.

On all fours, you crawl towards him, popping your ass to the beat of the song. Dollar bills shower the stage, and when you slide your knees out to the sides, allowing men a delicious view of your backside, someone tucks another $100 in your bikini.

Kyle is watching you, but his hands drop to his groin where he makes a fist, and rubs it awkwardly over his now-throbbing erection. You immediately notice this, and your eyes widen. That’s a sure fire way to get kicked out, and for whatever reason, you’ve clocked him as too innocent to let that happen. There’s either a) something wrong with him, or b) he’s really committed to acting like a clueless, braindead boy. Both options require action.

“Okay, okay,” you murmur, guiding him to the side of the stage. There’s an empty chair, and with a heel, you push him back into it. Sit. Stay. He does. Good boy.

He never takes his eyes off you though, and every time you’re looking at him, his jaw hangs slack, staring at you with half-lidded eyes. He keeps trying to get up, and you have to slowly shake your head at him, teasingly. He seems to understand that gesture, and stays put.

As you dance, you find yourself watching him, too. Inexplicably drawn to him, for whatever reason. You don’t usually take guys to the back, but $100 is a pretty good tip. Besides, you didn’t want to run into that girl again, and especially not angry.

As your routine comes to an end, Kyle gets up out of his chair, knocking into the edge of the stage. A few guys turn their heads, trying to figure out what this guy’s deal is. You’re too busy picking up your tips, and gathering your clothes to notice. With arms full, you race to the back, throw on a t-shirt and bolt back to the front, praying that Kyle is still where you left him.

He is. He may be trying to climb up on the stage, head craning in the direction of where you exited, but he's still there. You heave a relieved sigh, and saunter up to him, softening your expression.

“Hi, Kyle…” you murmur sweetly. You slip your arm underneath his, linking it with yours and softly pulling him down into a normal standing position again. There’s a small moment of processing and trust before he looks at you and smiles very weakly.

Destinee is next, and while she’s a nice girl, you absolutely loathe her taste in lighting. You enjoy a good rave, sure, but this is like the Electric Daisy Carnival in a much, much smaller space.

You learn very quickly that Kyle doesn’t like it either. At all. In fact, he might dislike it more than you. As soon as the beat is thumping and the bright red and orange lights are washing over the establishment, Kyle wrenches away from you, covering his ears. A low groan starts in his throat, bubbling up through his lips until he’s practically screaming.

“Shhh, shh it’s okay!” You try desperately to console him, but he can’t seem to hear you. Glancing nervously at the guests around you who are starting to take notice of him now, you smile apologetically. “Kyle, it’s okay!”

There’s only one solution - the private dance rooms. They’re quiet, secluded and a perfect spot to store a stressed out zombie boy for a few hours. You looked towards the spiral staircase that led upstairs, and hesitated. You were a dancer who rarely used the private rooms. You had been hard pressed to avoid being alone with any man, especially one that had paid you and felt entitled to whatever he wanted to take. Kyle, however, didn’t seem like the type to… well, do that. Or even articulate that he wanted to do that — did he even understand that you’d been paid to babysit him? Likely not.

You force his hand down as gently as possible, interlacing your fingers with his. “Kyle,” you say. “Kyle, look at me.”

His head moves sluggishly, and his eyes gradually follow. He looks at you with big, black eyes, the surrounding skin darkened and mottled. In the changing lights, he looks so lost, and your heart throbs desperately. Shucking the worries of whispers aside, you lead him through the club towards the wrought iron staircase.

“Hey Lance,” you say. “Private room open?”

“They sure are…” he replies with a large grin, his heavy accent coming through. Lance was one of the bouncers and rotated positions, so you had gotten semi-close with him. He enjoyed your presence and penchant for the strange. “Last door on da’ left.”

With Kyle in tow, you head down the long, red hallway. Each of the doors were painted black, with gold trim. Kyle’s gaze travels from each door, picking up on the various sounds that seeped from behind them.

“Okay…” You say, your voice a touch softer than before as you push open the last door, praying that it’s been cleaned adequately. You cock your head to the side, urging him inside. His concerned eyes swept from you to the door and back to you before he finally decided that it was safe enough for him to enter. “Look, no strobe lights. No loud music. Just you and me.”

“You… and me….” He grumbles. The door clicks shut behind you. His words are painfully slow and slurred, but you can’t help be charmed by the innocence of them. “You…. You’re…. l-like me.”

“That’s right, baby… I’m like you.” In a quiet, joking whisper, you say: “Raaaaauuuuggghhhhhh…. Brains.”

Kyle seems to like this. The tiniest of smiles forms on his mouth. His chest heaves, and without warning, he lunges for you. His strong arms wrap around you in a steely grip that at first terrifies you; your arms are pinned at your sides, locked into place. His tongue slips over your collarbone, wet and cool like he’s just finished eating ice cream. It slips over your neck, along your jawline, and up behind your ear. He’s licking you, devouring you with such pressure that he has to have eaten some of the makeup by this point. You wince as he nips at your ear lobe, his teeth grinding down on the flesh. With some inhuman gurgle, he descends, covering your chest in his saliva.

You were used to men being hungry for you, acting like rabid dogs the second that they caught a glimpse of your plump tits or your juicy ass. It was part of the gig, came with the territory. But not this. This guy was on something. Had to be. Without warning, he yanks your cropped shirt up, and his jaws clamp down on the meat of your exposed breast. You yelp, pushing him off. He looks hurt or confused, or maybe both. Immediately, you scramble, feeling like you’ve just taken candy from a child.

“Hey no.. it’s okay. You can bite me… I like being bit. But not too hard, honey… that hurt.”

He doesn’t understand. Or he doesn’t look like he understands. His brows knit together sadly, while the dark, ink pools he has for eyes glaze over.

“….biiiiiiiiiiiiiite….” He says.

“Softly,” you finished, with your cutest zombie voice. “Biiiiite soft…ly….”

He cranes forward, mouth finding your flesh again. His teeth continue to graze your skin, slightly softer than before though, so maybe he does understand. His tongue lolls out sloppily to taste every inch. He nears the jumbled up mess of liquid latex on your elbow, and you expect him to stop, or skip over it — but he doesn’t. He feels uneven, soft flesh and his front teeth clamp down on it with a guttural sound. He rears his head back far enough for the liquid latex to streeeetch, and snap.

This gorgeous, blonde boy has a chunk of faux flesh hanging from between his teeth. Fake blood dots his pale lips, and he’s looking at you with the most confused expression you’ve ever seen on a man. It’s a grisly sight, really, but it fits the theme of the night. He’s committed to the zombie act, you’ll give him that.

“Hey, hey, take it easy, spit that out…” You reach up, rubbing the fake blood off his bottom lip. flatten your slender fingers on his broad chest, skin smooth like stone except for the deep scars. These are really good prosthetics. You can’t even see the seam. Because there aren’t any…

Like a dog, he drops the wrinkly skin-toned mass from his mouth and frowns. He looks genuinely disappointed, like he expected blood and guts. “B-bad… th-that… didn’t taste….. gooood…” he stammers. "Hun..gry…..”

For a moment, you’re frozen. Your realization clicks into place painfully slowly, slower than his brain seems to move. He’s really too good at the whole zombie act, and a panicked thought writhes its way into your mind, penetrating it the way that a tissue absorbs blood. Just sucks it in, becomes a part of it. No, no way.

Heavily masking the nerves in your voice, you clear your throat and reach for his shoulder. You stroke the smooth roundness of it, raking your nails against his skin. “You want something that tastes good, baby?”

That ‘something good' is your cunt. You’ll let him eat you out so you can think. You assume he’ll eat you out like most men do — boringly — and you can process the realisation that this poor creature in front of you is actually really badly scarred, and possibly, a victim of head trauma, or something. Because there’s no way you’re meeting an actual zombie. Even on Halloween in New Orleans. That’s insane. So, you’re going to let him eat you out while you sort this out in your mind.

That was the plan, anyway.

Except the second you sink into the vinyl chair, he’s on his knees, looking at your pretty cunt with hungry eyes and the visual wipes your brain clean. It was like you put a plate of food in front of a starving man. His mouth opens. You untie both sides of your underwear, letting them fall to the floor. His eyes drop heavily, watching every move.

At first, his tongue juts out, curiously tasting what you’ve put in front of him. It presses between your folds, pauses, before wiggling around. Your eyelids flutter; you were ready to zone out, but Kyle’s inexperience, his curiosity feels so good.

“Good,” he growls, the word vibrating your cunt. His cool breath washes over your core, sending a chill up your spine. He delves deeper, tasting more of you.

His tongue flicks at your clit, flipping the swollen bundle of nerves mercilessly. Your whole body is trembling, and you feel the first of your orgasms rushing towards your centre. Carefully, not wanting to scare him, you grip his angel curls and ride his mouth slightly. Shit. Almost instantly, the throbbing starts and you make a mess of his poor boy’s face, squirting over his lips and chin.

“You like that?” You ask, through uneven pants. The first of the night always feels sooo good.

He nods heavily on your cunt, still lapping up the juices that leak from your slick hole. Your legs start to quiver and a fire burns deep within your cunt. You try to pat his shoulders, wordlessly telling him to stop. His tongue delves in, and he freezes.

“Kyle?” You ask nervously. Unconsciously, you clench around his tongue. He snaps to life, like someone flipped a switch in his brain. His strong arms wrap around the front of your thighs, tightly. Very tightly. He starts to pull you off the chair, lifting you up into his arms. Your ass cheeks are pressed against his chest and the back of your head is on the chair’s cushion now. He’s holding you tightly, upside down, still swallowing mouthfuls of your sopping wet cunt. He can’t seem to hear your desperate, pleading cries to stop.

You blink back tears, your vision throbs. You don’t know if it’s because the blood is very obviously rushing to your head, or because you’re coming again so quickly, but he’s drilling his tongue into your cunt like there’s a cream centre. If there is, he’s found it.

A scream fills your lungs and your body lunges upwards, trying to find leverage — something, anything to hold onto. She clenches again, pulsating around his cold, slippery tongue. Kyle’s practically drinking you with each clench. The overstimulation is crippling, and you can’t help but scream out.

“KYLE! STOP!”

At the shrill sound, he immediately drops you and your body hits the ground with a heavy thud. Your ass aches a little from the fall, but it’s nothing that’s going to ruin the night.

He’s frowning at you, his lips and chin glazed with your cum.

“S-sorry…” he grumbles. “Sorry. Bad.”

“No, no… not bad. Accident. Accident. Kyle?”

You call his name and he’s looking at you with those big, hopeful, dark eyes of his. You can tell — he isn’t sure if you’re going to scold him, or praise him and the uncertainty terrifies him. You get to your knees, crawling towards the sofa. Once you’re up on it, you pat the spot next to you three times.

“Can I see?” You gesture to your own body, tracing the remaining prosthetics with a single finger before pointing to him. He looks down, his bottom lip jutting out. He nods after a few seconds and lumbers over to you, sitting down heavily.

Your fingers dance over his skin. He was literally pieced back together. His head, his arms, his legs, the lower half of his torso… he was sewn back together like Frankenstein. Different parts connected as one. You’re sitting next to an actual zombie.

And then it dawns on you. Those girls. You’d seen them before. You knew their faces. They lived in the massive mansion on Jackson Avenue. They were witches. Witches were a dime a dozen in New Orleans — in fact, it was weirder if you didn’t practice some kind of craft. But zombies… you’d only ever heard stories. You’d never seen one, let alone be eaten out by one.

You stroke Kyle’s broad chest. For being a zombie, he’s surprisingly soft. You’d always imagined them as dried out, crusty creatures, but he only had a few patches of dry skin. In fact, he had more patches where you could see dark blue pooling underneath his skin, where blood had settled after death. He is cold however, and that’s the most jarring part.

You ease him back on the leather sofa, making sure his head goes down softly onto the arm rest.

“It’s okay, Kyle…. I like your body.”

“Costume….” He says. You shake your head.

“Body. Body.”

His hips give the tiniest little buck, and it slips between your ass cheeks. He whimpers, trying to get a visual of what he’s feeling. Gradually, his thrusts increase in pressure, and you adjust for your own pleasure.

When you adjust, forcing his cock to slide in between your cunt instead, he feels the slick warmth, and his feral nature returns, stronger than before. His thrusts pick up, and he seems to realise that you are a living thing, with pulsing blood and a throbbing heartbeat. Something else is throbbing again, too.

You whine and match his thrusts, letting your head loll back.

Kyle has a different idea, and before you can stop him, he has your forearm in his mouth, teeth clamped down on the soft, warm flesh. It only takes a few seconds for you to feel the stinging ache consuming your arm. It hurts… bad. The muscles in your fingers contract, twitching limply. He aggressively shakes his head, and your heart drops. The terror sets in, and you’re suddenly running cold.

“Kyle, no- OW! KYLE!”

He shakes his head again, biting down harder and digging his the ridges of his teeth deeper into your skin. You don’t necessarily feel the flesh tear, somewhere near the top, but you certainly feel the warm flow of blood that drips down your arm, dribbling onto his chest. Your pupils dilate. The blood keeps flowing, and you feel him start to rear his head back. Something pulls back with him. The ache is replaced by a searing burn, and you realise that if he pulls back any further, he’s going to pull off skin. You’re panicking now, and don’t know what else to do but try again. This time though, you roar at him, bringing back your zombie voice. It’s not so cute this time. “Raaaaaaaaauhhhhhh, KYLE. KYLE STOP. STOP!”

You try to rip your arm away from his mouth, while pushing his head. Thankfully, his powerful jaw goes slack and your arm slides out, strings of spit stretching from his lips. Your blood is smeared across his chin and bottom lip, and collects in the corners of his mouth.

With your vision bouncing thanks to Kyle’s furious thrusting, you look at your arm, watching the bright crimson well up in the indentations of the bite mark. Amidst the rest of your makeup, the bite doesn’t look out of place. You hold your arm out further, trying to come up with a story for this one. Maybe the makeup had stained in an absolutely mind-blowing way. And you had a reaction to it, hence the bizarre swelling and scabbing. That sounds good, sounds believable.

“Want… more…” He says, and your stomach drops, praying that he doesn’t mean more flesh. You’re not sure you can handle another one. Mid-thrust, Kyle’s thick, veiny cock angles just right and slips into your cunt. She swallows him easily, still wet from being eaten — a mixture of cum and Kyle’s viscid, slimy saliva. You plant both hands on his chest, letting out a breathy, melodic moan. He feels good enough to make you forget about the bite, and as you begin to ride him, it seems that he forgets too.

You’re taking control, grinding on top of him, using his cock like your own personal toy. It’s hitting every spot you want it to, pressing into your walls with its girth, and you can’t help but whine about it. Pausing to smear your blood across Kyle’s chest with your middle finger, you leave deep, red streaks across pale skin. You shouldn't find that hot, but you do.

Kyle wraps both hands around your waist, pulling you down onto his cock relentlessly, each thrust feeling harder than the last. You lean forward, pressing your tits against his almost bare chest, and allowing him to take control, thrusting his cock up into you. The slightly bent positioning of his cock, head grinding against your spongy insides is enough to make you cum right then. You don’t though, holding back, clenching your pussy as tight as you can.

“You like it, Kyle?” You ask, through shaky pants. “You like that?”

Kyle nods, heavily, his darkened eyes watching the way that your body quivers on top of him, wordlessly marvelling at the way your thigh muscles contract and shake on top of him every time he slips out, and buries himself inside your dripping pussy again. He loves how it feels, even if he can’t articulate it the way he wants to, the sensations are everything he wants. Everything.

He grips you harder, lifting you off his cock and slamming you back down, repeating this violent display of strength over and over again. Your cunt shudders, unable to hold back your orgasm any longer. Kyle feels it first, and the sudden tightness has him growling, snarling and pushing his length into you as deep as he can. Kyle digs his heels into the sofa, lifting his legs. You feel the pressure against your cervix as he bottoms out, and press against his cock, forcing his cock deeper into you, until you feel the ache. You ride out the waves of your own orgasm, feeling his as it comes in thick, sticky ropes.

There’s a gentle knock at the door, and you quickly get to your feet, pulling your shirt over your head. You scramble, trying to find the bikini bottoms and once they’re tied, you throw open the door. It’s Lance, who is looking very concerned. Your legs are pressed tightly together, in fear that Kyle’s load is going to start dripping down your thighs and onto the floor.

“Miss Y/N. The club is closing… are you alright in there?”

Closing? What? It was bareley eleven when you brought him into the room. The seedy, slick realisation that you’d been fucking this zombie for almost four hours made your cheeks blossom with heat. You immediately tuck your bitten arm behind the door, flashing Lance a charming smile.

“Yes! Fine! Just uh, finishing up a dance. Hey - Lance… did two girls ever come back, asking for this blonde guy in here?”

He pauses, thinking. After a few moments, he shakes his head and apologises.

Okay, guess he’s coming home with me, then. “Thank you, Lance. I’ll be down in just a second.”

You shut the door and lean against it, looking at the zombie on the sofa. He’s staring up at the ceiling, a small smile on his face. “Kyle, do you live on Jackson Street? Where do you live?”

He sits up abruptly, turning his head to face you. “Uhm…” He murmurs. “Big…… white.”

“Big white house?” You repeat, making a house shape with your hands. He nods.

“You wanna’ go home?”

After throwing on a pair of dolphin shorts, collecting your duffel bag and giving Lance a generous tip, you have Kyle in tow, fingers laced tightly with his. Jackson Street was maybe a twenty minute walk, something you both could handle.

Despite it going on 3 AM, the streets were still filled with partiers, people in masks, and drinks in their hands. You and Kyle blend in as you walk, heading down the busy roads. Once you arrived at the Mansion, the gates were open, a fine mist spilling into the sprawling yard.

The woman who answers the door is beautiful, graceful and composed. She wears all black, her honey blonde hair cascading graceful over her shoulders.

“Good Evening,” she says.

“Good Evening. Um.. this is going to sound strange, even for Halloween, but, um…” You want to continue. Desperately, but for some reason, you already know the answer. He does belong here. As though she’d said it to you, plain as day, he belonged here, this is where he stayed.

Zoe and Madison must’ve forgotten him.

Your brows furrow, indignantly. How could they?

Cordelia’s plump lips flatten into a knowing smile. You swallow, suddenly feeling uneasy. You scratch at the liquid latex on your neck, fiddling uncomfortably with one of the edges of the prosthetic.

“Well, Kyle… here you go. Go with…?”

“Cordelia.”

“Cordelia. Go with Cordelia, you’re home now.”

Kyle seems somewhat hesitant, but when Cordelia holds out a hand, he obeys and lumbers inside, looking over his shoulder at you one last time.

“Thank you for bringing him home,” she says, softly. “Would you like to come inside?”

You consider that for a second. Deep within the wetness of your bones, and the warmth of your blood, you feel like you should. There’s something extremely comforting about this place, but… “No, no thank you. I should be getting home. It’s Halloween. Weird things happen on Halloween.”

She smiles again. “That’s quite a bite you have on your arm… did Kyle do that?”

“Oh, uh… yeah. He got a little excited earlier, I’m a dancer, and uh, y’know. Men.”

“I have something for that.”

You look down at your bite again, it looks nastier than before. You clear your throat, ready to reject and explain that your older sister is a nurse and she’ll help, but instead, and you’re not quite sure how that happened, you’re walking through the doors. Kyle is delighted to see you again, pausing on the grand staircase to look at you.

Cordelia’s hands end up being very, very soft.

t a g l i s t : @kaismanwich / @redwoodghost / @elsamars / @silverzoomies / @kaissweetlamb / @thewolveswithin / @80strashbag / @twinkiemaximoff / @spill-the-t / @stucktothetwo / @evansb1tch / @enchanting-evan / @petersevans / @yesdevineruler / @enchanting-evan / @anonymous0316 / @eventually27 / @violetharmonscupcake/ @my-own-walker / @kai-slut / @evanpetersfansblog / @fuckedbykai / @iluwmycats / @nova-kayne67 / @dewberryobssesed / @the-goblin1 / @dirtyfairy97 / @jellyluvr / @strangerthings420 / @kai-anderson-whore / @piecesofcain / @lilthbunny / @quickandsilvers / @tatelangdonsweater / @ifeeltoofuckingmuch / @howtobesasha / @randodummy / @throwinginmythai / @hyperharlz

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ladamedusoif · 1 year ago

Text

Tempered in the Fire - Part Three

See the Series Masterlist for complete content warnings, historical event information, and series notes.

Cross-posted to AO3. Follow my writing blog @ladameecrit and turn on notifications for updates.

Pairing: Blacksmith!Din Djarin x F! Reader

Summary: Ireland, almost a decade after the rebellion of 1798. You are an unusual woman: married, but alone; a widow, with no certainty her husband is dead. When your local blacksmith is badly injured in an accident and unable to work, you have no choice but to travel to the next forge, run by a man of few words whose uncertain origins and dark complexion make him stand out among the locals. You are immediately intrigued by this mysterious, taciturn figure - and the striking little boy he’s taken as his apprentice.

Word Count: 7.1k

Rating: Explicit; 18+ MDNI (chapter; series)

Content (chapter specific): Blacksmith!Din AU; historical setting; references to violence; references to infertility; references to spousal abandonment; strong language; period-typical misogyny; references to and non-explicit descriptions of past experiences of psychological abuse, sexual assault and non-consensual sex, and of domestic violence; abusive and derogatory language; smut; PiV sex; fingering; technical infidelity; angst.

Use of the Irish language with translations as needed.

Important A/N: In one section of this chapter, Reader recalls exactly how badly treated she was by her husband before he left. This means brief discussion of psychological, physical, and sexual abuse. I have tried to handle these issues as sensitively as possible and without gratuitous detail or description. (I am writing as a survivor of emotional abuse, and I want to express my gratitude for the vital advice and support of other incredible survivors, including of other forms of abuse experienced by Reader in this story).

Further A/N at the end of this chapter.

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Réaltín snickers as you tie her up hastily outside your little cottage, adrenaline coursing through your body. It doesn’t take long to throw a few things in your leather saddle bags: some clothes, your sewing kit and a supply of fabric, the money tucked under your mattress. It’s not much, but it might be enough to get you out of here before he comes looking.

You wrap your best shawl around your shoulders and go outside to check on your little milk cow, safe in her stall. She blinks her big brown eyes at you, kind and trusting, and you rub her muzzle affectionately.

Cáit, your nearest neighbour, peers through the window when she hears Réaltín trotting up the lane. She’s waiting at the door before you’ve pulled up, sensing all is not well. You spill out your excuses.

“It’s family matters. All happened very suddenly. I can’t say more, but I’ll be back as soon as I can - will you look in on my cow, make sure she’s fed? You can have whatever milk she’ll give you, of course.”

Cáit nods, though she seems a little sceptical. “You’re sure you’re alright, a stór [sweetheart/treasure]?”

You bring the shawl around your head and mount Réaltín again. “I am. Thanks, Cáit. I’ll see you soon.”

It’s only when you’re halfway to your parents’ smallholding that you realise you can’t stay there, either. In your panic and haste you hadn’t thought it through. If Searlas wanted to find you, it would be the first place he came looking.

Dusk closes in, and slate grey clouds gather overhead. The heavens open and your tears start to fall as you bring Réaltín to a halt on a quiet lane.

Gró stirs his little bowl of vegetable and barley stew, lifting out pieces of carrot on his wooden spoon before dropping them back in the bowl and giggling at the satisfying plop they make.

His father shakes his head. “Ná bí ag súgradh le do bhéile.” [Don’t play with your meal.]

The little boy is the first to spot the horse arriving out of the darkness, pointing to the window. Din looks out cautiously, dark eyes surveying the small area outside the cottage illuminated by the candlelight coming from within.

Nothing.

The knock on the door is hesitant, and Din silently gestures to his son to stay put as he answers.

She’s soaked to the skin, red woollen shawl weighed down with rain, eyes reddened and fear written all over her face.

It is all Din can do to stop himself reaching out and pulling her close to him, to comfort and reassure her, to make sure she is alright. Instead, he simply stands back and beckons her inside.

She babbles her explanation: the errant husband returned, in the army, her worry that he would seek her out.

“I’m so sorry, Din, I… I just didn’t know where else to go.”

She’s shaking, and he doesn’t know if it’s the cold rain or her panic that’s doing it.

Before Din can speak, Gró has materialised at her side, and reaches up for her hand. His big eyes look up at her with the kind of affection Din has only ever seen the boy show to him, and at times to Peigí.

She looks from Gró to his father and back again. And then she breaks down.

“There isn’t much left, I’m afraid. But you’re welcome to it.”

Din looks from the cooking pot to you, sitting in a chair by the hearth with a blanket wrapped around your shoulders as your shawl and outer bodice dry out.

“If you’re sure?”

He nods and ladles the stew into a bowl. You accept it gratefully, realising that it had been many hours since you last ate. It is a simple meal and all the better for it, the steaming broth warming your bones and the vegetables and barley filling your empty stomach.

Din sits in the other chair and scoops Gró up into his lap. The little boy smiles in your direction as you eat, and you notice he’s wearing the little shirt you made for him. You summon up the words, speaking hesitantly.

“An mhaith leat do léine, Gró?” [Do you like your shirt, Gró?]

His enormous eyes light up and he nods enthusiastically, turning round to look up at his father and laughing delightedly at hearing you speak his language. Din ruffles his son’s fair hair and smiles at you.

“Thank you for mine, too. You didn’t have to. I’ll make sure you’re properly paid.”

You nod towards the bowl of stew. “This is payment enough. Once my things are dry I’ll get going. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to put you out. I panicked, and -“

Gró sighs and nestles in against Din’s broad chest, trying to keep his eyes open but losing the battle against sleep. Din stands, carefully shifting the little boy in his arms and gesturing with a tilt of his head towards the loft.

“Stay.”

“I’ve already outstayed my welcome, Din, I don’t know what I was -“

“Stay.” He repeats the word, half-order, half-plea, as he stands at the foot of the makeshift wooden ladder leading up into the loft.

You nod, watching as the blacksmith expertly ascends with his son in his strong arms, a lantern in one hand. Din is wearing a sort of woollen jumper over his old shirt, and you can’t help but notice the stretch of the knitted fabric across his broad back and shoulders, the way it draws the eye to the muscles of his chest.

An unexpected wave of pleasure ripples through you. You shake your head, as if trying to rid your body of the feeling.

While Din tucks Gró in, quietly humming to him, you rinse the bowls from dinner and tidy up the main room of the cottage. There’s what looks like a settle bed against one wall, and what you presume is Din’s bed against the other, near the back window: a basic frame, simple bedclothes, a trunk at the foot of the bed.

“So you’ll stay?”

You turn to face Din, speaking in hushed tones as he descends the ladder. “I will stay for tonight.”

He looks at you, dark eyes hooded and serious. “You should stay as long as you need to. You are afraid of him, and I presume with good reason.”

“He might not even come looking for me. He’s gone so long, after all. But -“ You pause as the traumatic memories of the past swirl in your mind. “But him reappearing like this, and in uniform… He is not a good man.”

Din tilts his head and looks at you. You are grateful that he doesn’t pry further. “I can keep you safe here. He’ll never know.”

Before you can protest, he’s crossing the room and pulling out the rectangular, boxy bed frame from underneath the settle and rummaging in a small cupboard for blankets and pillows. “You can sleep here, if you’d like. Or in my bed, over there. Either way, I’ll sleep in the back store, or the forge.”

“Absolutely not. That back little room is too cold, too small. And the forge is no fit place for someone to sleep.” You help him arrange the bedding for the settle bed. “I grew up sharing a one-roomed cottage with my entire family, Din. This is no hardship at all, nothing irregular, as long as you don’t mind.”

He shakes his head and retrieves a half-burned candle from the mantle above the hearth, lighting it from the small lantern before handing you the lamp. Din leaves you to get ready for bed, taking the candle and going to change in the back store so that you have privacy. He calls out to you, checking that he can come back into the main room.

“Come ahead, Din.”

Tucked into the settle bed, you can barely make out his silhouette as he comes into the room. His solitary candle illuminates his strong profile as he gets into his own, wooden-framed bed across the room.

“Are you comfortable? Warm enough?” His voice, soft and low, carries in the quiet.

“I am. Thank you for this. I am so grateful.”

“Sleep well.”

Lights extinguished, you can hear Din shift in his bed and his breathing enter a slower, steady rhythm as sleep descends.

You lie awake in the dark, thoughts racing. So Searlas had fought for something - for his king’s shilling, no doubt, and they were only too desperate for men to fight in the wars against France. Searlas had spat bile and vitriol in ‘98 about the United Irishmen and the Defenders, the groups that had led the rebellion, blaming dangerous French ideas of liberty, equality and fraternity for poisoning people’s minds.

It made sense, now, that he’d have abandoned you to take up arms against those ideas. But you knew Searlas too well for it to be a moral crusade, or a stand taken on principle. Most likely, he’d spent the intervening five years doing as little as possible for as much reward, and probably whoring his way around Europe.

You try to push him out of your mind as you seek sleep, your brain seeking comforting thoughts and images until it settles on the recent memory of a pair of sparkling brown eyes, looking at you in the firelight.

Searlas’s hand is rough around your arm, and you know you’ll have a bruise there tomorrow. He drags you away from the fair and along the back road from the village, muttering abuse as you jog along trying to keep up with him.

“I saw you talking to him. The way you looked at him, the way you whored yourself around him. Filthy slut that you are.”

“Searlas, he’s my second cousin, I haven’t seen him in years…he’s family, I was talking to family!”

He pulls you harder to him before knocking you, deliberately, into the thorny hedgerow that runs along the dirt road.

“Watch yourself. You should be more careful of your footing. Stupid bitch.” He hauls you up and pushes you roughly along the road.

“When we get home, I’ll show you what happens when you act like a common whore in front of the whole place.”

“Searlas, please, please don’t, not again…”

“You’re a fat, useless, barren slut.” He spits the word at you. “And you’ll take your punishment from your husband.”

You have learned since the first time he “punished” you this way that crying out, or crying at all, only prolongs the agony. So you try to will your mind out of your body as your husband pulls your legs apart and pins down your arms, spitting insults as he forces himself on you.

You are not really here. You are in the back field, in springtime, with wildflowers in bloom. You are looking at the slate-grey sea, wind whipping at your face and hair. You are not really here, not really at the mercy of this cruel and violent man.

Sometimes, you try to focus on the words of the songs of liberty you know, the poems that sing of a dream of freedom.

You are not really here. You are free.

You wake with a start and for an instant you can’t remember where you are. A sickening panic thrums through your body and the sides of the settle bed feel like they’re closing in on you.

You sit up and turn your head only to be greeted by a pair of big dark eyes, staring intently at you over the edge of the bed. Gró smiles widely and begins chattering away, unaware that your addled brain is unable to keep up.

Din’s broad figure emerges from the back room, carrying a pot that he places on the metal crane over the fire, to warm its contents. He tuts when he realises that Gró is by your bed.

“Ná bac léi,” he says, somewhat sternly. “Tá sí an-tuirseach.” [Don’t disturb her, she’s very tired.]

Gró turns and reveals your head and shoulders, visible over the edge of the settle bed.

“You’re awake. I’m sorry, I hope he didn’t wake you. He’s young, he is curious.”

You shake your head and reach for your shawl, wrapping it about you. “Not at all. I… I woke by myself.”

Din beckons to his son and leads him by the hand in the direction of the door that opens onto the forge. “We’ll leave you for a bit. There’s some warm water in that pot over the hearth, if you want to wash. And a basin and rags, on the table.”

“Thank you, Din. I’ll be glad to make some breakfast once I’m dressed.”

He inclines his head towards you and carries the little boy into the forge.

While Din works and Gró helps out around the forge, you busy yourself with cleaning, mending, and preparing meals for your hosts, by way of a thank you for their kindness. The cottage is well-kept and tidy - an indicator of Din’s meticulous nature, you muse - and doesn’t require more than a little dusting and sweeping to get it ship-shape again once you’ve pushed the settle bed back under the seat.

The midday meal is simple - floury potatoes, piled high in a bowl, and served with butter, milk, and a little salt for Din. Gró eyes up the fresh pot of jam you had brought in your saddle bags, but his father’s wagging finger dissuades him as he eats his own little bowl of potatoes. Sitting at the wooden table, sharing the meal with them and listening to the chatter between father and son, you feel that familiar pang of loss, of yearning for what might have been.

You distract yourself by thinking about the evening meal.

“I can stay and make something for the supper, later,” you announce, as Din lifts his head and meets your gaze with those penetrating dark eyes. “And then I’ll leave you. I can’t abuse your hospitality any more than I already have.”

The blacksmith shakes his head as he peels another potato and dips it in the golden-white liquid in his bowl. “At least wait until you know it’s safe to return.”

You know, deep down, that it’s still too soon to know. But you also know that the smith and his son are already just about able to feed two people, let alone three.

Din turns to his son and ruffles his hair as Gró closes his eyes in delight. He whispers to him and the little boy grins before hopping off his chair and racing out to the back field, whooping and laughing to himself.

His father stands up and begins to help you clear away the empty dishes.

“You - you were unsettled in your sleep, last night.”

You keep wiping down the table. “Was I?”

You can feel Din looking at you. “You were. And this morning. You sounded upset.”

“Probably just a bad dream.”

Din sighs and hesitates before asking the obvious question. “Was it about him?”

“It was.”

Tension crackles in the turf-scented air of the cottage. For an instant you think about telling him everything: every fist, every bruise, every torn garment, every time your husband used and violated you in spite of your protests.

The image of Din wrapping you up in his strong, protective embrace floats into your mind, unbidden.

He breathes deeply. “He hurt you.”

“He did.” You finally look at the blacksmith, whose soft, compassionate expression comes as a surprise. “I felt more of his fist than his lips, I suppose you might say. But that was better than -”

You inhale sharply, summoning as much courage as you can bear. It is difficult to know how Din will react. But there’s something in your gut that tells you he can be trusted, unquestioningly.

“It was better than the alternative. When he…forced himself. On…on me.”

You stare down at the floor and feel heat rising in your cheeks. You have never told another soul about this, and are unsure why you’ve unexpectedly chosen this stoic man to be the first to know.

The silence hangs heavy between you, broken only by the sounds of your breathing and the crackle of the hearth.

When he eventually speaks, Din chooses his words carefully. “You have to stay out of reach of a man like that. If you could even call him a man.”

He picks up his leather apron and the grey fabric he uses to cover his nose and mouth while he works, and opens the door into the forge, pausing for a moment as he looks back at you.

“Stay. Please. Until you know you’re safe from harm.”

You wake before him the next morning, stealing out of the settle bed to dress in the back room, before quietly putting on water to boil for breakfast and freshening up. There is still some milk in its heavy, lidded container and you pour it into an earthenware jug before setting it on the table.

You hear a stirring from the other side of the room as Din lifts his head from the pillow and yawns, somewhat startled at the sight of you. You bite back a giggle at his skew-whiff bed head, the wavy brown strands sticking up this way and that as his eyes adjust to the light.

He smiles and shakes his head when he realises you’ve prepared breakfast.

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“I was awake, and I wanted to. I have to find some way to return your hospitality, after all.”

Din discreetly reaches for the pair of breeches folded neatly near the end of the bed, and you instinctively turn away as he slips them on before getting out of bed and climbing the ladder to the room above, where Gró is already happily babbling away to himself.

The blacksmith and his son head to the forge after eating, after you refused their offers of help with clearing up after the meal. As you wash the dishes in a stoneware basin, using some of the leftover hot water, you find yourself slipping, once again, into a fantasy of this being your life: this happy, safe domesticity, away from harm and mistreatment.

The memory of the soft smile that had appeared on Din’s face that morning, when he saw you preparing their meal, enters your mind. You close your eyes, a rush of warmth and something like desire coursing through you.

“No.”

His eyes, now, warm and kind and so inviting as they looked at you. The glimpse of tanned skin under his nightshirt.

“No. It cannot be. No.”

You open your eyes and delve deeper into the tepid water, scrubbing the plates and mugs clean and resolving to leave today - just as soon as you could be certain no danger awaited you at home.

At mid-morning, the sudden sound of a woman’s voice inside the cottage is almost enough to make you drop the bundle of clothes you’re carrying inside from the washing line.

She’s small, with an unruly mop of wild auburn curls, and a demeanour that indicates her wiles and toughness.

Peigí. It seems strange to see her here, away from her yard full of half-mended carts and spares.

She doesn’t spot you at first, too busy hauling in a milk can and a couple of baskets filled with random packages wrapped in brown paper. Food, you guessed.

“Only me, lads! Came by with milk and a few bits and pieces I have going spare after calling into the village, I know a growing little chap who’ll eat them right up, so he will. D’you know they changed the coterie of redcoat bastards at the barracks, Din? And one of them’s a local lad, fecked off and left his wife there a few years ago and now he’s back and he’s going mad looking for her and -"

The woman finally looks up and sees you standing near the hearth.

“Oh. Oh, lord bless us and save us!”

“Hello, Peigí. I’m sorry, did I give you a fright?”

She rounds the table to get a closer look at you. “God almighty, girleen, it is you!” She pauses and takes a step back, concern written on her expressive face. “Did… did you know about, er, him? Reappearing, that is?”

You nod. “That’s why I’m here. And by the sounds of it, that was the right thing to do.”

She turns her head quickly towards the door that leads to the forge, as if half-considering whether to summon Din to find out what, exactly, the wife of the prodigal soldier is doing lying low in his house.

“You’re not… ye aren’t… you and himself, are you…”

It’s pretty clear what Peigí is thinking, and you can’t exactly blame her. An anxious wave crashes through you, as you realise that your choice of hideout may well lead the community at large to suspect impropriety - on your part, of course.

“No. And if anyone else suggests that, kindly correct them on my behalf.” You put the bundle of clothes on the table and fold your arms. “I had nowhere else to go that he wouldn’t suspect. I came here in a panic. Din and Gró took me in and fed me.”

Peigí lifts the baskets onto the table, a sympathetic expression on her face. “Well, your instincts were right. Your husband - not that he should really claim the title, given how long he’s been gone - has been out to your smallholding looking for you, and to your parents’ place, and he’s been asking around for you.”

She takes a few of the packages out and arranges them into little piles. “Look, I don’t know your business but I’m guessing you have a good reason not to want to see him again, for being so frightened that you’d flee your own home. So you can trust me, I won’t say a word.” The earnestness of her expression and the kindness in her eyes tells you that she means it.

“Thank you, Peigí. I’d intended to go home later today, I can’t outstay my welcome, but…”

“But I’d give it another little while,” she finishes. “Until he decides you’re not worth the bother.”

The door from the forge opens and Din’s broad silhouette appears, face still covered with the grey cloth. “Peigí?”

“The one and same, Din. Brought you and that lovely little lad some bits and pieces. Now, where’s my darling boy?”

On cue, Gró tears in from the forge, little bare feet racing across the flagstone floor to greet Peigí with a tight hug as she sweeps him up into her arms. He immediately starts chattering away to her, pointing from his shirt to you excitedly.

“Well, aren’t you a lucky little chap, having new friends to make you clothes and everything!” She swivels around to face Din, his son playing with Peigí’s curls. “You don’t need to explain why she’s here, the poor girl. And she should stay put, in my opinion. Provided that’s alright with her hosts, of course.”

“What have you heard?” Din’s voice is cautious.

“Only that he’s been sniffing around the place and asking questions. Nobody knows she’s out here, though.” She ruffles Gró’s mop of fair hair. “You know me, Din, I know everyone and I hear everything. And I’ll be out here quick as anything, the minute I know it’s alright for her to go home. That alright with you, girleen?”

“If it’s alright with Din.”

His dark eyes meet yours. “It’s fine with us. We will keep you safe.”

Peigí looks from you to Din and back again, eyes narrowed and one eyebrow arched, before setting Gró back down on the ground.

“Right so, I’ll be off. See you next week, Din - if not before.”

You keep telling yourself that you’ll soon be able to go home. But, with every day that passes over the course of the next week without a visit from Peigí, a new, more uncomfortable feeling grows inside you.

I don’t want to leave here.

You settle into a comforting, reassuring routine: a little housekeeping and cooking, mending and sewing, playing with Gró, occasionally helping Din with checking the list of items left for repair. Gró alerts you if anyone comes down the lane to the forge, giving you time to scramble up the ladder to the attic and hide. It’s not that you expect Searlas himself - more that you fear he’ll find out if anyone from the locality spots you in the cottage.

You notice Din smiling more, these last few days. Sometimes, you catch him looking at you, eyes kind and warm. And he, in turn, has caught you looking at him.

By night, you sit by the fire together for a little while: you with your mending or knitting, talking, sometimes - and more you than him - but sometimes simply being in a companionable silence that doesn’t demand interruption.

This evening, he descends the ladder from Gró’s sleeping attic, candlestick in hand, and sets the light back on the mantel. The flickering flame throws shadows here and there, the brighter light of the fire illuminating Din’s profile against the whitewashed walls.

He joins you, sitting in one of the sugán chairs in front of the fire. He silently watches you, taking in your nimble fingers as you darn a pair of socks by firelight.

“You have a nice voice,” you say quietly, not even looking up from your work.

“I…” He seems a little taken aback. “Are you making fun of me?”

You look up, surprised and a little hurt that he’d think that of you. “Of course not! I heard you singing to the little lad and it was nice. It’s a compliment, Din.”

He looks sullenly into the fire. You reach over to pat his arm, to offer a little more reassurance and kindness, but he pulls away suddenly as if your fingertips were aflame. You jerk back your hand just as quickly. Had you broken some sort of rule?

“I’m sorry, Din, I didn’t mean to - I meant no harm.” You cast your eyes down again towards the stockings.

“It’s only that I’m not used to it.”

You look up quizzically. “Not used to compliments?”

He meets your eyes and huffs a laugh. “Well, that’s true too. But I mean I am not used to being touched. At least, not by anyone other than my boy.” He looks away again. “I’m the one who should be sorry.”

“Let’s call it evens, then, will we?” You yawn softly and let the darning rest in your lap. “I think it might be time for bed.”

You go through the evening routine established with quiet ease over the past few days: packing away your darning while Din smothers the fire and pulls out the box-like bed frame of the settle bed for you, setting out the few meagre cups and plates for breakfast on the sturdy wooden table while he retrieves pillow and blankets for your bed.

“There might just be enough jam for Gró to have for breakfast,” you tell him, peering into the bottom of the last jar you’d given them. Din stands beside you at the table and smiles.

“He makes light work of it, I’m afraid.”

You shrug and place the jar on the table, resting your hands lightly on the edge. “I’m glad. It’s nice to make a child so happy in this world.”

For a moment, there’s no sound except the occasional crackle of the candles and the rain beating its steady rhythm against the walls and windows of the little cottage.

Din rests his own broad, calloused hands on the table. With trembling fingers, he places his right hand gently on the back of your left.

He doesn’t look directly at you, instead stealing the odd glance as he tries to gauge your reaction. You turn your hand over so that your palm is touching his, letting your fingers intertwine with his long, thick digits as you softly squeeze his hand and turn to look at him.

His hands are still shaking a little, but his impossibly dark eyes are warm and wanting as they look intently into yours.

He moves a step closer. He brings the back of your hand to his lips. You exhale a little, a breath tinged with pleasure and surprise, and your fingers seek out the rough stubble on his jaw. He lets go of your hand, gently, and traces his fingertips across your cheek with surprising delicateness.

His kiss is a little awkward, at first, as if he’s afraid you might disappear entirely as soon as your lips meet. When you lean in and reciprocate, though, he responds in kind: strong arms pulling you close as he kisses you hungrily, moaning into your mouth as you wrap your arms around him.

And then it’s over.

He breaks away, breathing shaky, body almost trembling, face turned away from you.

“No. We can’t. You’re… you’re married, it’s not the way to - I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have laid a finger on you.”

You walk quickly to the settle bed, keeping your back turned to Din. “I’ll go in the morning. I’ve exploited your kindness for far too long as it is.”

His own bed creaks a little as Din sits on it and sighs. “You won’t be safe. I can protect you, here.”

“I’m a married woman, Din, remember?” You fling a pillow down onto the straw-filled mattress in frustration. “So I shouldn’t need you to protect me. And I’d obviously only be a temptation. A harlot.”

You pick up your nightshirt and shawl and cross to the door that leads to the tiny back room, so that you can change for bed. You keep your face turned away and your eyes trained on the flagstone floor. That way, at least, he won’t see your tears.

“The thing is, Din,” you say quietly, as you pause in front of the simple wooden door, “over the last few days - in all the time I’ve known you, indeed - you’ve been more husband to me than he ever was, in the ways that really mattered.”

“Mo chuisle.” [My darling]

His voice, soft but pleading, cuts through the stillness like a prayer. When you turn to face him, he’s standing by the side of his bed, big dark eyes threatening tears of his own, beautiful hands twisting and rubbing nervously together. You’ve never seen him like this.

“Say it again.” You move towards him, shawl wrapped around your upper body.

“Mo chuisle.” He takes your hand and you instinctively move closer, leaning in to feel the warmth of his broad chest. Slowly, cautiously, Din’s strong arms reach around your body to hold you to him.

You stay like that for a few moments, listening to his heart beating, learning the notes of his scent: fire and metal. His large hand caresses the back of your head, his lips find your cheek with soft, lingering kisses.

“Let me keep you safe, mo chuisle. Here, with us.”

You look into his dark eyes, mapping the laughter lines around them and the contours of his nose, his mouth, his strong jaw.

When you first met Din, you weren’t sure if he was a handsome man or a striking one. You were wrong on both counts.

He was a beautiful one.

He holds your gaze for a few seconds, before your lips meet his again. Slow caresses give way to more urgent, hungry kisses, your hands holding Din’s face as he holds you tight, feeling the softness and contours of your body under the layers of wool and cotton in your garments.

You stay like that for a little while, lips and tongues blissfully moving together and hands roaming over each other’s body, exploring these strange and enticing new territories.

Din trembles under your gentle touches, the feeling of someone else’s tender caresses almost overwhelming after so long alone. For the first time in your life, you know what it is to be held and cherished with care as he holds you, seeks out your softness and your warmth, presses his lips experimentally to the fragile skin of your neck and décolletage, and sighs with pleasure.

His mouth moves gradually lower, and you loosen the neck of your blouse and undo your light wool bodice to grant him greater access. Those long, thick fingers, marked and calloused by his trade, trace the line of your breasts under your short linen stays.

“Oh.” He exhales the word, closing his eyes as his fingertips press lightly into the soft flesh.

“Din…”

Din’s dark eyes flick open and meet yours, his sadness palpable. “I’m sorry, mo chuisle, I’ll stop.”

You murmur a silent prayer that he won’t think less of you for what you say next.

“Din…don’t stop. I - I want to. I want you. I want you to have me. Please.”

He flushes and looks away, still holding you close.

You speak softly but firmly. “I know that’s very forward of me, Din, but…” You run your fingers idly through his hair and he leans into your touch. “Why did you turn away?”

“Because I’ll be a disappointment to you.” His eyes meet yours again, dark and sad.

“It has been a…long time.” He looks embarrassed, colour flushing his cheeks. “I…I’ve lain with, well…once or twice…but I…It wasn’t like this. It wasn’t -”

“If you don’t want to, you know that’s perfectly fine.”

“I want to. I want you.” He pulls you tight to him once more, and brings his hand to your breasts, gently kneading the flesh and slipping a fingertip here and there under your light stays as he sucks your neck and pulls your bodice open all the more.

“I won’t hurt you, my darling,” he murmurs.

“Oh, Din, I know. You never could. Let me undress for you, a stór, hmmm?”

Din looks on as you discard your bodice and your skirts, followed by your woollen stockings. You undo your short stays, leaving you as naked as you’ve ever been in front of another human being for a very long time: just your pale, light shift, undone over the décolletage and stopping just at mid-calf, the outline of your body entirely evident in the simple, thin undergarment.

His dark eyes appraise you, mouth slightly open. The width and curve of your hips. The thickness of your thighs. The little protruding pooch of your belly. The line of your shoulders. The gorgeous weight of your heavy bosom.

“Oh, mo Dhia.” [My god]

Din hastily takes off his knitted pullover and undoes his breeches and stockings, and soon he, like you, is standing barefoot on the flagstone floor, dressed in just the creamy-coloured linen of his undershirt. He closes the short distance between you, caresses your cheek with one hand and reaches for the other, holding it gently.

“Please take me to bed, Din.”

It’s strange, at first, to nestle beside him in his bed, to smile at each other and giggle quietly as you map each other’s bodies with roving fingers, curious lips, and wandering eyes.

You are no virgin. But this has some of the sweetness and curiosity of a first time, or at least how you had once hoped a first time would be. On your wedding night, Searlas took your virginity and shattered your romantic delusions, adding insult to injury by checking the sheets to see if you’d bled.

It’s different tonight, here in the blacksmith’s bed. You are both a little awkward, a bit hesitant from your years alone, the time spent seeking a kind of release in your own hands, the years that passed without as much as a loving touch from someone else.

The feel of another now, at last, sets you trembling. Din’s breath hitches when you caress him through the thin linen of his undershirt, and when you reach under his shirt and wrap your fingers around his cock he moans so loudly that you have to put a hand over his mouth, for fear of waking the little boy soundly asleep on the floor above.

You stroke him for a little while, hand still gently pressed over his lips to stem the flow of grunts and moans that threaten to spill out.

“I’ll stay quiet if I’m kissing you, mo chuisle,” he whispers against your hand.

You smile and move your palm away, and Din swiftly finds your mouth again as his hands grope your breasts. It’s exquisite torment - the sheer pleasure of his strong, broad hands being on you, his soft, warm mouth meeting yours, while the ache between your legs grows more and more insistent.

You take his hand and gently guide it under your chemise and between your folds. Din’s eyes widen.

“Ever touched a woman here?”

He shakes his head.

“Would you like me to teach you?”

A slow, entranced nod of agreement.

You bring his long, thick pointer and middle fingers to the sensitive little nub you’ve learned to massage when you needed release in your years alone, guiding Din’s motions as you teach him what you like. What you need.

He’s a quick learner, enraptured by the little whines his fingers start to pull out of you and the way your hips buck in response to the careful touch of his hand. He reaches for your breasts with his free hand, fondling them with endearingly clumsy enthusiasm while he continues to finger you.

“You’re wet,” he grunts into the side of your neck, fingers now tracing around your entrance as he explores you for the first time.

“For you,” you whisper, close to coming. “Because I want you to have me.”

Din’s kiss tips you over the edge and you whine against his broad chest as pleasure courses through your body. He looks astonished.

“Good?”

“So good, Din,” and you return his kiss, still stroking his cock. “You learn fast, a stór.”

His eyes are dark with desire and want as he plays with the hem of your chemise, hitching it up over your thighs.

“Can I have you, mo chuisle?” His voice is hushed, reverent, almost; his face open and genuine as he gazes into your eyes.

You nod and sit up, casting off your shift before helping him out of his shirt. Your fingers trace over the marks and scars on his body, lips pressing lightly to them, to the strong, beautiful muscles of his arms and torso, to the side of his neck.

With his pointer finger, Din draws soft lines and circles down your breasts and around your nipples, before gently bringing his warm, plush lips to each one in turn. Strong arms wrap around you and ease you down onto your back as his mouth continues to explore your body. He strokes his cock and moans softly as your hips buck up towards him, marvelling at the way you are responding to his touch.

He is a beautiful sight, nestled between your legs: broad body above yours, hands and lips exploring you, eyes blown completely dark with desire, and hard cock pressing against your core. You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down for a long, deep kiss.

There is no moment of doubt in your mind, no worry about how this lovemaking is “wrong”, by virtue of the legal status that still binds you to a man who never held up his end of the bargain, nor had any intention of doing so.

Nothing in your life, you realise as you reach down to help guide Din inside you, has ever felt so right.

He takes you slowly, gently, biting his lip as he sinks into you and bottoms out with a groan he desperately tries to suppress as he adjusts to the feel of your wet, warm pussy.

He opens his eyes and caresses your cheek, smiling softly. “Mo cailín álainn. [My lovely girl.] Is this - do you like this?”

The feeling of his heavy cock pressing, filling, stretching you so beautifully is a revelation, a far cry from the pain and abuse that characterised your previous experiences. Suddenly, you understand why other young couples you’d known had been so desperate to go to bed together.

“It’s just perfect, a stór. And for you, is this - does it feel good for you?”

Din breathes your name and closes his eyes for a moment. “So very, very good, mo chuisle.” With a gentle kiss, he begins to move his hips as you whine softly at the gorgeous sensation. He moves slowly, at first, his sheer pleasure as he drags his cock in and out of you written all over his face and in every pant and whispered gasp of your name that issues from his soft lips.

Your knees hitch instinctively, your body acting on your innate need to take him even deeper inside of you. Din’s broad, calloused right hand finds its way to your hip, making you cry out as his fingers sink into the soft flesh, while his left eagerly gropes and massages your tits.

“That’s it, darling,” you purr into his ear, urging him on as he starts to fuck you harder and faster. “Yes - yes, Din, there - that’s…oh, god…” His eyes widen as he watches your head rolling back in ecstasy. He buries his face against the velvet skin of your neck, kissing and licking and nipping you until you’re stifling your moans against his dark, wavy locks.

“My good, good girl,” he whispers, moving his lips to your tits and muffling his grunts and groans against your body as his rhythm starts to stutter and falter. He’s close. “Where, love?”

“Inside me,” you hiss, “finish inside me.”

He comes hard, moaning into his pillow as he spills his release deep within you. You trail your fingers through Din’s damp, mussed-up hair and kiss the side of his head, over and over, until he pulls out and flops back beside you.

You turn to face him, chuckling softly at how wrecked he looks. “You’re very good at that, you know. Not bad for a man who thought he was going to disappoint me.”

Din grins, wraps an arm around you, and pulls you in for a long, slow kiss.

Dawn reaches its gentle rays into the little cottage and finds two lovers still tangled together, naked beneath the blankets.

Din wakes you with kisses: to your lips, your forehead, your cheeks, your neck. You nuzzle against him, still basking in the warm glow created the night before.

There’s a certain sadness in his kind eyes. Regret?

“What is it, Din?”

He looks at you, reluctant. “I just wish you were mine, mo chuisle.”

In that instant the warm glow is gone, replaced by stark cold. He’s right. You’re not really his. You can’t be.

But, says a little voice inside you, you are. What else are you, if not his?

You kiss his cheek and reach for his hand. “I am yours, Din. Don’t you remember what I said last night? I’m yours - and you are mine - in all the ways that truly matter.”

Further A/N: With thanks to @agentjackdaniels for her astute observation a long time back about the similarity between mo chuisle and mesh'la!

A settle bed was a common piece of furniture in eighteenth and nineteenth-century Ireland. Essentially, it was a kind of high-backed bench with a deep base that could be pulled out to act as a spare bed. A sugán chair is a traditional Irish form of domestic chair with a woven straw seat and wooden frame.

#tempered in the fire fic #din djarin au #blacksmith!din djarin #blacksmith!din djarin x f!reader #din djarin fanfiction #historical AU #the mandalorian AU #the mandalorian fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedrostories

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sugar-petals · 6 months ago

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Hi caro hope you're doing well ! I was wondering what Billy magnusen body type was ? His features are like soft and rounded ,even his muscles, I thought maybe a romantic or a natural type ? Anyway thanks and have a great day 💜

Billy's a Pure Natural Kibbe body type imo! 💕

Torso + face + hands sport width, blunt shoulders, rather tall at 1,80cm, slim hips, strong thighs, arms & face more compact than elongated, neither petite nor balanced, frame dominant. All pure soft yang indicators. Like all Ns, he easily gains a muscular physique with the shoulder area most prominent.

Face: Neither slim/long like D nor full like R, nor contrasting in features like a G. SC could be possible and would be my second guess (he's often dressed as a C), tells me he's in the middle of the spectrum, but the body is too T-shaped + muscle-prone to be balanced. Kibbe's N face description:

"Facial bones are broad or prominent (nose, cheeks, jawline - blunt, not sharp). Eyes may be very straight and small. Lips are straight and slightly thin. Cheeks are taut." That's Billy! (i.e. very goodlooking)

Naturals are close to men's cultural beauty `ideal´ (FN), but less imposing, lanky, nor as asymmetric. They radiate "friendly, sporty, fit, handsome" instead. They're not thinly modelesque like otherworldly intimidating Ds, not flawlessly dandy-like Cs, not petitely youthful like G, nor softly rounded like Rs. They are effortlessly, likeably masculine with athletic blunt frames.

Charlie Hunnam, Frenkie De Jong (!), Robert Redford, Jensen Ackles, Alexander Ludwig, all from the N family, they resemble him.

Billy's roles have been a mixed styling bag (D and C clothes are too formal/boxy and sleek on him, R is cartoonishly ornate, G is too much), but the Instyle photoshoot... The lumberjack/rugged leisure look with minimal tailoring slash detail + strong fabrics is his forte. Pure Natural is THE casual archetype. To dress N up, you dress them down. All else is artificial.

Beard, looser longer hair, earth colors, the Kibbe recommendations really transform him. He becomes so much more intense, and even more handsome. Relaxing the lines, voila:

I first thought SN for him, too! But compare Kit Connor, Soft Natural incarnate: Billy's less yin. Kit is mega buff, but with notable lushness and an hourglass on top like a Romantic. The softness adds to his bevelled/wide/athletic N bone structure, around his cheeks, legs, chest, jaw, lips. He's both N and R.

Kit's not R, he towers over petite Joe Locke (FG)'s yin height. But even at his most muscular, Kit is still full and rounded in flesh instead of tautly ripped and T-shaped like Billy. Gratuitous pics incoming:

Typecasting them, Kit is the cute n sexy sports guy next door (N + R), Billy is the fun jacked athlete going on an outdoors adventure (N). SN is more androgynous, small, like Tom Hardy, Jungkook. Rs and TRs are below Billy's height range (e.g. Jimin); have curly yin hair, sloped shoulders, full lips, rounder eyes, think Nick Jonas, Kit Harrington.

Natural is less petite, and their arm/shoulder/rib area is always the most powerful part of their body. They're a wall, have more vertical. I can see some softness in the arms and thighs but the face isn't as luscious/sweet like yin. Just naturally (pun) athletic.

Hope you enjoyed the analysis and found it helpful! <3

#billy magnussen #kit connor #cub mail 🐅#kibbe #kibbe body types #kibbe types

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syd-djarin · 11 months ago

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FRANKIE SAYS RELAX (Frankie Morales x fem!massage therapist!reader) ***teaser***

18+ explicit content - with peace and luv, MDNI*

A/N(s): Title is a mashup of the song title Relax by Frankie Goes to Hollywood (a fitting 80’s song about getting your nut!) this won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, if you don’t like it respectfully move along ok? Ok.

Warnings: BUTT STUFF GALORE (Frankie receiving!!!!!), sub!Frankie, inappropriate / unprofessional massage therapist behavior but they already know each other and are friends prior so it’s kinda less bad? IT’S CONSENSUAL and this is a work of fiction!!!!, dirty talk, praise KINK, pet names used in excess, mutual sexual tension, dirty thots (reader & Frankie!), gratuitous descriptions of frankie’s body ody ody, this is just super horned up, author regrets nothing

Frankie sheds his clothes, boxers and all, and slips under the thin sheet. He doesn’t dwell too long about his nude state, knowing himself well enough that he’d chicken out and never show his face around you ever again.

You knock softly on the door and wait a beat until you hear a response from the other side. You call out to him too, “you good, Frankie?”

“I’m uh—ready,” he responds.

You practically melt into a puddle when you are presented with an unobstructed view of his broad back and shoulders. He’s fucking gorgeous.

You wonder if anyone’s ever told him how beautiful he is. Your eyes follow each line of definition, particularly intrigued by the prominent lines that trail up and out from his lower back.

Your self-indulgent gaze lands on his ass. It’s cute, adorable even. The thin material covering his lower half leaves little to the imagination, the perky and plush flesh of his butt calls out your name.

You’ve had plenty of attractive clients before, but never any you actually wanted to touch outside of the massage, and none of them were Frankie fucking Morales. Your moral compass and professionalism are fighting tooth and nail to keep you grounded.

“Okay, I’ll start with a gentle touch and once you get used to it, I can do it harder,” you say, and immediately cringe at your word usage. You half-ass salvage it by adding “you know, increase the pressure as I go.” You hope he can’t hear the shaky exhale you release.

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blackjackkent · 1 month ago

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Shadowheart leads them down from the House of Grief into the Sharran catacombs below.

Upstairs was warm, welcoming, as part of its facade as a place of healing and comfort. The cloister offers no such illusion. It is cold, the walls lined with shadows, the only light from flickering torches set every few feet.

(A/N: Fun fact - the scene is lit to appear as if light is coming from barred windows above the player, but I had a look around with freecam and there's nothing there, just solid wood. XD )

A few locked doors provide little resistance to the blade of Lae'zel's greatsword. Shadowheart explores the secured rooms with a strange combination of nostalgia and pain.

In one room, they find a vast array of disguises, clothing of a hundred different colors and styles.

Documents are strewn in a corner of this room, records of Sharran activities. Some of them speak of the mission Shadowheart herself was sent on - the quest for the artifact now in Rakha's pack, the githyanki power it holds, and its unexpected illithid occupant.

Rakha is far more interested, though, in another report she finds crumpled on a desk:

This is the first description she has seen of her activities as Gortash's ally from anyone other than Gortash himself. It sends a cold chill down her spine - but also rouses a flicker of curiosity.

"You know this place?" she asks Wyll. "The Devil's Fee?"

"I was a little young to be consorting with diabolists when I was still in the city," Wyll says dryly. "Perhaps Karlach would know?"

"Perhaps." Rakha squints at the piece of paper, then pockets it restlessly.

-----

The other room smells of blood.

Rakha looks at the broken, gore-streaked body on the table for several minutes, searching herself for any trace of the beast's eager hunger at the sight. But there's nothing, just a sort of weary familiarity with Shadowheart's words.

She too learned to kill people in a place very much like this. She remembers the noblestalk memory, Sceleritas passing her a scalpel, the blood pouring over her hands.

The Sharrans are not like the Bhaalists, not precisely. They are colder, more methodical, less gratuitously sadistic.

And yet their victims are just as dead, all the same.

-----

Finally, just before the final door, she finds a notebook labeled "The Unburdening."

She remembers, now, the strange mental prodding that went along with Viconia's questions, so subtle as to be beyond notice at the time. The Mother Superior was searching her thoughts, her memories, for anything Shar might desire.

Rakha takes a certain savage pleasure in this idea. She has very little memory to harvest; Viconia would have found nothing of use, surely.

She does wonder, though... had she gone through with it all, what this mirror might have chosen to take from her.

-----

"I remember this now," Shadowheart says bitterly as they descend the final steps towards the cloister's inner sanctum. "A whole stolen childhood spent in these halls. The Mother Superior must be close. Soon this will all be over."

Rakha does not answer, but thinks it will be no more over for Shadowheart than it is for herself. Viconia did not "map" Shadowheart - but the answer would no doubt be the same as the one Rakha found.

The scars will linger, though their cause is gone.

#bjk plays bg3 durge #rakha the dark urge #rakha is having such a massive bummer of character growth today XD #this whole place sucks tbh #fuck you viconia

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crusherthedoctor · 2 months ago

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I think you're a pretty cool dude, with lots more passion and A LOT more resiliance that I think I'll ever have, maybe even more than you think you have :P

I regret to say it, but it might be partly cause of the spite I've accumulated over the years alongside my passion.

Frontiers being Grass Simulator? Time to work even harder on my gratuitous location descriptions.

Decades of Tails getting fuck all of substance in fanworks aside from existing as a means to make Sonic/Shadow look good? Fine, I'll use him then.

Decades of soft Eggman and upstaged Eggman in fanworks? Fine, I'll write him then.

Decades of folk (and arguably certain official material) failing to portray Sonamy and other contractually obligated canon/canon ships in a way that feels believable or equal? Nothing to lose by writing an OC/canon ship, cause at least I'm attempting to make it work for both sides.

Being told over and over that your character has to be a douche in order to be multi-faceted? Nah, what if I make Trudy one of the friendliest and most polite members of the cast instead, because there's more than one universal way to provide character depth.

Critics hammering down that all clothing choices must be realistic and practical for every character? That's nice, anyway here's Trudy wearing a cape now because it's cute and suits her personality.

"All you care about is Eggman" Nope, but just for you, I'll write a Mario fic where the villain is still him.

#Crusher's Asks

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steddieunderdogfics · 10 months ago

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Paint the Devil on the Wall by MuseumGiftShopEraser

@museumgiftshoperaser

Rating: Explicit

64,609 words, 6/6 chapters

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Tags: Minor Robin Buckley/Nancy Wheeler, Past Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington, artist!eddie, Eddie POV, Enemies to Lovers, Forced Proximity, and they were ROOMMATES, unstoppable force (mommy issues), meets immovable object (daddy issues), past abusive relationship, mentioned childhood physical abuse, Alcohol, Weed, Drugs, Addiction, Period-Typical Homophobia, mentioned homophobic parents, Mentioned Death of a Parent, Autistic Robin Buckley, Explicit Sexual Content, Light Dom/sub, Praise Kink, but they're like really intense about it, Masochism, Begging, Under-negotiated Kink, Safeword Use(Yellow), writer takes liberties with the amount of security at art galleries, gratuitous descriptions of the painting process, Steve and Robin are platonic soulmates in every universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, 80s New York art scene AU, Alternate Universe - No Upside Down (Stranger Things), Gay Steve Harrington, Queer Eddie Munson, tattoos as plot devices, Art, Art History, Painting, pottery

Summary:

If Eddie had known that sharing his New York City art studio with Robin would include her buddy Steve, he never would’ve offered it in the first place. There. He said it. If that makes him a bad friend, so be it. Because Steve is around all the time. Pastel and prissy. Sculpted from marble, yet dressed like a Macy’s mannequin. Always hovering. They got Robin’s potters wheel up the stairs last week, a three man effort he can still feel in his lower back, and now she’s fucking teaching him. Full on, arms wrapped around his waist, hands guiding hands. Someone grab him a bucket, ‘cause Eddie’s about to throw up. He’s not even good at it. Steve can barely get the hump of clay centered on the wheel and he refuses to get stains on his clothes. It’s fucking clay. It comes out in the wash. Steve’s shirtless approach to pottery is borderline offensive to the arts.

Thanks for the rec! This recommendation is apart of our Writer's Wednesday! All of the recs today are written by @museumgiftshoperaser. Want to nominate an author? Fill out this form!

You can submit fic recs to our asks or the submission box!

#writer's spotlight #steddie #steddie fic recs #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #stranger things #Artist Au #enemies to lovers #angst with a happy ending

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grayskies2525 · 12 days ago

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A Year of Falling | Ben & Arlo | M/M | Chapter 8

I decided to play around more with Ben's allergies. I used to only be into illness sneezes, but that seems to be changing with time so I'm having fun exploring this new part of myself lol. That being said, the rest of this fic will almost definitely be illness sneezes. Except for Chapter 9. Chapter 9 will continue on from where this leaves off.

Content Warning: Mess (kind of). Nothing egregious, but there's a few descriptive mentions of Ben's runny nose.

Word Count: around 5,300

Link to all parts: A Year of Falling

Chapter Eight: July — “Just” Allergies

Ben stares down at the kitchen sink, coffee cup in hand, while he frowns.

“Arlo, I think we need to rename your cat,” Ben says, looking over his shoulder at Arlo who’s rubbing his eyes with one hand and stifling a yawn with the other.

“Mhm and why is that?” Arlo mumbles, shuffling forward to have a look at the object of Ben’s focused gaze.

When Arlo finally notices the issue, a laugh escapes him.

“Arlo, this is not a humorous situation. It’s unhygienic,” Ben says even as the corner of his own mouth threatens to quirk upward.

But Arlo’s still laughing. He reaches a hand out toward the orange, fur covered obstruction in the sink that’s been preventing Ben from washing out his coffee cup. Arlo runs his fingers through Classy’s slightly dampened fur. The cat looks up at Arlo, blinks slowly, then begins to purr like her belly is full of a thousand bumblebees.

“Don’t listen to Ben,” Arlo says into the cat’s fur after picking her up and bringing her to his face. “You are highly sophisticated and deserving of your name.”

Ben rolls his eyes. “She threw up all over your pillow last night. Then laid in it. I hardly call that classy behavior.”

Arlo now has the cat cradled in his arms as he rocks her back and forth like an actual baby. “Hush, now. She’s a perfect little lady, ” Arlo coos at the cat, his gaze full of adoration and warmth that Ben feels oddly envious of. Has Arlo ever looked at him like that? Ben shakes his head at the outrageously absurd thought and moves closer toward Arlo.

“Good morning,” Ben says, smiling as he finally gets a thorough look at the very rumpled looking Arlo.

Arlo is wearing his oversized school sweatshirt. Ben is pleased to see he’s also wearing a pair of Ben’s pajama bottoms. The two are similar enough in size that they can easily wear each other's clothing. Ben is less inclined to borrow items from Arlo’s wardrobe, but it stirs something inside Ben when he sees Arlo wearing his clothing — especially when it’s something so incongruent with Arlo’s personality. Ben loves seeing Arlo wear his old AC/DC tees, or better yet — his Terrifier t-shirt Felix got him for his last birthday. Arlo would never watch something with such grotesque and gratuitous body horror, so seeing him wear a shirt based on the horror movie franchise never fails to bring a smile to Ben’s face. It’s knowing that Arlo would never choose the shirt on own — that he’d lazily picked up the shirt from wherever Ben had carelessly left it and deemed it good enough because it was Ben’s. It’s the sole reason Ben constantly “forgets” some of his clothing at Arlo’s.

“‘Morning,” Arlo says, his face breaking out into the fullest of smiles that lets Ben see the way his front teeth overlap each other.

Arlo mentioned having braces as a child, but it’s clear they weren’t a permanent solution. Ben’s sure many dentists would love to trap Arlo’s beautiful teeth back behind braces, and if one even so much as suggests such a thing, Ben will march straight to the dentist’s office to give them a piece of his mind — not that Ben imagine this being a realistic scenario since Arlo would surely refuse to be someone in their thirties with braces. The attention that would bring would be unacceptable to someone like Arlo. Ben spends a moment mentally expressing his gratitude that things like Invasalign are wildly expensive, or Arlo would probably actually consider it.

“Have I ever told you how much I love your smile?” Ben asks as he moves closer toward Arlo before wrapping his arms around his waist.

Arlo snorts. “Only every day.”

Ben buries his head against Arlo’s neck, simply taking in his scent. There’s nothing exceptional about the scent on its own — just faint traces of the cheap bar soap and laundry detergent he uses. But it’s Arlo’s scent and that fact alone makes it exceptional.

“Hmm, not nearly enough then,” Ben responds, face still settled against Arlo’s neck.

Arlo laughs. “You know, when we first met, I never imagined you to be so… I don’t know? Romantic, I guess?”

“I’m literally sniffling your neck right now. So, are you sure you didn’t mean to say ‘creepy’?” Ben teases, his voice muffled against Arlo’s skin.

“It’s sweet. You’re sweet.”

At this, Ben draws back, putting some distance between them, and scoffs. “Definitely not true.”

Arlo rolls his eyes, but rewards Ben with another beaming smile. “Don’t criticize my judgement making skills because I will take it as a personal offense. It’s literally my job to analyze stories and to….” He pauses, seeming thoughtful. “To uncover truths that may not be so obvious at first glance. And your story, Ben, is less inconspicuous than you seem to think.”

Ben narrows his eyes. “Take that back. I’m enigmatic as hell and I will not hear otherwise.”

Arlo laughs again. “You drove to three different stores last night after working both your jobs just to find my favorite brand of vegan chicken nuggets. Without me even asking. Face it, Ben, you’re a sweetheart.”

Ben feels his features contort in what he’s sure to be a comical degree of disgust. Then, to further the effect, he shudders. “I am not a ‘sweetheart.’ Jesus, Arlo, you’re going to make me throw up. I had to drive to three different stores because you needed to eat something besides your weird almond, butternut squash kale whatever-the-fuck salad you were eating because no matter what you say, there’s no possible way you’re getting enough protein in your diet. And you love those ‘chicken’ nuggets so somebody had to go and get them and you certainly weren’t going to so —”

Ben’s words are interrupted by Arlo gently cupping Ben’s cheeks, the expression in his eyes going past fondness, making Ben’s stomach churn in both excitement and unease.

“Can I kiss you?” Arlo asks, softly.

Ben freezes for just a moment as he feels his heart thump, but manages a simple nod and an “Mhm hmm.”

“You sure?” Arlo asks, voice almost a whisper.

“I’m sure,” Ben says, trying to keep his voice steady. In reality, he’s less sure than he’s letting on, but he finds comfort in the knowledge that Arlo will pull away the moment Ben expresses the slightest amount of uncertainty.

Arlo smiles, then leans in closer. Arlo’s breath is warm against Ben’s skin. Ben ignores the sudden thundering in his chest as he moves his hands tentatively to rest on Arlo’s shoulders. Ben’s experience in kissing is limited due to the basic fact that he simply finds no pleasure in it. He’s done it with previous partners because it was expected, but all it succeeded in doing for him was causing him to feel like an alien; he doesn’t have the instincts other people seem to have when it comes to this kind of thing, so the whole act feels mostly mechanical. But when he and Arlo discussed Ben’s boundaries on all things intimacy — a conversation that had been surprisingly easy to have with Arlo — Ben had expressed that he was okay with kissing, as long as Arlo asked first and didn’t expect Ben to be any good at it.

This is the first time Arlo’s asked, and Ben can’t possibly say no when he’s said yes to several other people in the past who were much less important to him than Arlo. It’s not that Ben’s especially uncomfortable or feels any actual repulsion at the prospect of kissing Arlo. It’s more that he doesn’t want to give him a shitty experience when he deserves only the best.

But Arlo shuts off all Ben’s thoughts of self-reproach when he presses his lips softly against Ben’s. Arlo’s hands wrap around Ben’s waist, pulling him in closer. Ben relishes in finally not having to take the lead in a situation because he’s utterly out of his comfort zone and has absolutely nothing to offer. It’s clear, though, that Arlo doesn’t need guidance. His movements are slow and careful. He cards one hand through Ben’s hair, running his fingers through the strands while they kiss. Ben loves having his hair played with and Arlo knows this. So Ben focuses on this while Arlo guides them through the kiss.

Arlo’s lips are chapped and Ben is sure he’s coming across as awkward as hell — what the fuck is he supposed to do with his hands? — but still he finds it to be a … well, not a passionate experience, but a pleasant one. He knows by now that kisses are never going to elicit “sparks” or “fireworks” for him, so he’s not disappointed or surprised when they don’t come. He instead relishes in Arlo being close — in being able to fully take in his scent and feel the warmth from how close their bodies are.

The kiss would be considered brief by most people’s standards, but for Ben, it’s the longest one he’s managed without wanting to squirm in discomfort. When they break apart in a way that feels relaxed and natural and he sees Arlo still looking at him with a gentle smile, Ben releases a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

“You okay?” Arlo asks, brows knitted

“Yeah. That was… nice,” Ben says. “I like having you close,” Ben says, his cheeks warming at the admittance.

“That’s good because I feel the same,” Arlo says, his warm gaze still fixed on Ben.

Ben stares for a moment before frowning. “I’m — I’m sorry I can’t give you more,” he says, looking down at the floor for a moment before fixing his gaze back to Arlo. “You deserve more, and it’s not fair for you to have to make that kind of sacrifice. I mean, I can barely even kiss you. And I know I brought this up when we first had the conversation about me being … um… the way I am, and I know you said you were okay with it, but I’m telling you again that if you don’t want to be with someone heh heh — et’shieew! Et’shieew! ET’shiEW!” Ben managed to bring an arm quickly up to cover the unexpected sneezes. He scrunches his nose and blinks at Arlo. “Okay, those were really sudden, whoa. Sorry.”

Arlo rolls his eyes and snorts. “Bless you, and I’m glad your sneezes interrupted you because you were speaking complete nonsense.”

Ben furrows his brows, but then his breath hitches, and he’s back to burying his face in his arm. “Et’ShhHH! Et’SHHH! ET’SHIEW!” He sniffles and looks up, groaning. “Fuck, I hate allergies,” he says, sniffling thickly again, but then remembers what they were talking about. “Anyway, I was not speaking nonsense,” he continues, ignoring how his voice now sounds thick with congestion. “It’s important to me that you’re well-informed about what you’re signing up for.”

Arlo sighs and pulls out a chair to sit down in. “Ben, you talk like I’m signing up for a medical procedure. You’re a person. You don’t need to list out your personality traits like their nasty side-effects.”

Ben joins Arlo at the table, taking a seat across from him. “I know that. And I think I’m past feeling any kind of shame toward my… sexuality, I guess. But, it’d be wrong to ignore it. You have the right to want sex and it’s a simple fact that I can’t really give that to you. So you shouldn’t feel like you’re stuck — heh — like you’re st-huh-uck with — fuck I’m going to —” He brings his arm back up to his face. “Et’shiew! Et’shieeew! T’shiieew!” Ben sighs and rubs his annoying nose vigorously with the back of his hand. “Anyway, I don’t want you to feel stuck with me.”

“I don’t feel like I’m stuck with you, Ben,” Arlo says, giving his own sigh as he gets up from his seat to walk over to the kitchen counter. He comes back quickly with a box of tissues that he hands Ben before sitting back down. Ben pulls out several of the tissues and reluctantly performs a very necessary nose blow as Arlo resumes speaking. “You’re saying words like sacrifice and….” He breaks off, sighing, seeming to carefully consider his words. “Okay, for some people, sex is a key component to their relationship. And that’s fine. If that’s something a person feels like they need in their relationship, then yes, they should find a person that can meet that need. But I’ve told you that I don’t need that. I mean, I’ve had a relationship where I’ve made sacrifices. Jeremy and I had plenty of sex, but Ben….” Arlo shakes his head and gives a wry laugh. “That kiss we just had? That meant more to me than any of the intimate moments I had with Jeremy in the six years we’d dated.”

Arlo pauses for a moment as Ben blows his nose again. Ben keeps his gaze locked on Arlo’s, wanting to show he’s attentive — that he’s listening to these very important words, but his nose is also uncomfortably full, so he has no choice but to empty it. “Sorry,” Ben says with a sniff, pleased with how his voice sounds less riddled with congestion. “I promise I’m listening. It’s just that my allergies are wreaking havoc today.”

Arlo frowns. “I’m not surprised. I got a high pollen alert on my phone. It’s supposed to be a record breaking amount or something. You sure you want to go to the cookout thing later?”

Ben narrows his eyes. “Yes, I want to go. Me and Felix always celebrate the 4th together and I never let my allergies get in the way. And besides,” Ben says, shooting Arlo a knowing look. “Don’t think you’re going to get out of socializing that easily. You’re hanging out with us tonight and you’re gonna have a great time and that’s just all there is to it,” Ben says, definitively.

Arlo winces at being called out, so Ben smiles. “Anyway, stay on track. You were saying very pleasant things before. About how Jeremy sucked at sex so bad that an awkward kiss with an asexual was better than anything he could provide” Ben says, motioning Arlo to continue.

Arlo can’t hide the amusement from his features that always appear when Ben criticizes his ex. “It wasn’t awkward. You are just… just ridiculously wrong about so many things sometimes, Ben,” Arlo says before his expression sobers. “Anyway, my entire point was that you need to quit thinking I’m making some kind of sacrifice by dating you. A sacrifice would be… It would be dating someone who wouldn’t buy me a stuffed animal just to make me feel a little better when I’m sick. It would be dating someone who wouldn’t drive to three different stores for my chicken nuggets,” Arlo says before letting out a wry laugh. “God, Ben, do you know how many times Jeremy tried getting me to eat meat? When we’d first started dating, he said it was ‘cute’ that I was vegetarian, but eventually he started going on about how it was a ‘hassle’ having to cater to my diet — that it was annoying having to look up a restaurant’s menu to make sure there was something I could eat before going out. And, yes, I’m sure it was annoying —”

“What a giant asshat,” Ben interjects. “Please let me abduct him and send him to Australia so he can get eaten by a spider,” Ben interrupts, not able to help himself. “Or kicked in the face by a kangaroo at the very least. Oh my god, Arlo you can’t tell me you wouldn’t love that.”

Ben doesn’t miss the soft, fond expression Arlo wears or the way his mouth twitches. “Shh, stop interrupting me. As I was saying —”

“Restaurants suck, anyway,” Ben continues as he becomes fixated on the idea that Arlo’s ex cared about something so trivial. “I mean, maybe I just think that because I work at one. But seriously, as long as you eat, I couldn’t possibly care what it is you’re eating.” Ben pauses for a moment before continuing. “Though I really do think you need more protein. I know you say broccoli is packed with protein, but surely you need more and —”

Arlo reaches across the table to take Ben’s hands in his, a smile playing across his face. “Ben, hush for just a moment, I am begging you.”

“Sorry,” Ben says with a wince.

Arlo shakes his head, still smiling. “And you think the sacrifice I’m making in this relationship comes from you being asexual, when really it’s putting up with your inability to let me finish a sentence.”

“Not even true. I let you finish that one just fine,” Ben says, smiling sheepishly.

Arlo snorts, then sighs heavily. “Ben, I need you to understand I wouldn’t be in a relationship with you if I weren’t okay with your boundaries. I promise you I am. And… well, if that ever changes, though I don’t think it will, but if it does, I promise to be open with you about it, okay? But for right now, I really, really need you to understand that what you have to offer is more than enough to make up for the fact that sometimes I… uh…” Arlo looks down, biting his lip, a blush spreading across his cheeks. “That I have to take care of certain things by myself.”

“That’s just it, though,” Ben says, forcing himself to ignore how cute Arlo looks trying to avoid mentioning anything explicitly sexual. “There’s no possible way I’m worth that, Arlo. Buying you vegetarian chicken nuggets and stuffed kangaroos — an animal you hate by the way — is not enough to justify having to give up—”

“Ben,” Arlo says, interrupting Ben this time. “If you go on any more about things I’m ‘giving up’ I’m literally going to spontaneously combust from frustration. I accept and am happy with what you’re able to give me and you need to understand that. And, besides, you still do… uh, some things… I mean, it’d be okay if you didn’t, but I do like when you, uh.…”

Arlo’s cheeks are so red that Ben has to interrupt him this time or Arlo will surely melt into a puddle right here in the kitchen. “Yes, well, I do get some enjoyment from pleasing you a little even if I don’t personally enjoy being the object of any kind of sexual act,” Ben says, then smiles as Arlo’s blush deepens. Ben wonders, not for the first time, how it’s that he’s the one who can easily talk about all things sex-related when he’s supposed to be the asexual one of the two. “Anyway, I’ll trust your word for now. That you’re okay with everything. But, you have to tell me if that ever changes, okay?”

Arlo rolls his eyes, but smiles. “Of course I will. And you have to tell me if you ever get tired of dealing with someone who has a chronic illness.”

Ben stares, his mouth open. “Arlo, that is not the same thing.”

“Ben,” Arlo states firmly, staring at Ben with an uncharacteristically severe expression.

Ben stares for a long moment before sighing. “Yeah, fine. If I ever get tired of you and your weird forks and spoons, I’ll let you know.”

“It’s more than just weird forks and spoons, Ben, and you know it.”

Ben sighs again. “I do. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to… to minimize it, I guess. I just…” Ben sighs again. “Listen, let’s just eat breakfast. You get some coffee in you and I’ll get some more coffee in me and we can have a nice little morning together. Then there’s still a lot — a lot heh hh hIT-chiiieeww!” Ben rubs his increasingly itchy nose with the back of his hand that he just sneezed all over. “Ugh. There’s still a lot I need to do before heading over to Felix’s later.”

“And you’re sure you even feel like going?” Arlo asks, genuine concern etched along his features. “You already sound pretty stuffy and we will probably be outside for a while. You know… in the place where all the pollen is?”

Ben snorts, which just succeeds in making him sneeze again. When he recovers, he looks back to Arlo. “Yes, I’ll be fine. It’s just allergies. I’ve dealt with them my whole life,” he says, sniffling thickly.

He is feeling pretty itchy already and it’s early in the day. It will be fine, though. He’s excited to spend time with all his favorite people in one place, so he’s not going to let something as mundane as allergies get in the way of that.

____________

Ben wonders how his cause of death will appear on his death certificate. How exactly does one professionally word the phrase “drowned in his own snot”?

“Hiih IHDTz’SHiieewww!”

Ben grabs the handkerchief from its spot on the couch and uses it to scrub violently at his nose. No matter how many times he rubs it, blows it, or uses it to sneeze, his nose remains at hellish levels of itchiness.

Ben glances up through bleary eyes at Arlo as he walks into the living room. “Arlo, my face is made of ants,” he declares as he rubs even more vigorously at his nose and eyes.

Arlo blinks, then furrows his brows. “Um… what?”

Ben uses one hand to scratch his left ear, which does absolutely nothing to alleviate the deeply rooted itch, and uses his other to rub the bridge of his nose. “Ants, Arlo. Fucking ants. My face is composed of a-ah-ants-chuuuh! AHts’huuuhh!” He sniffs thickly from behind his handkerchief covered face and groans. “They’re crawling all inside my face and my ears and my whole head and god,” Ben whines, lowering his hankie and resting his head in his hands.

He hears Arlo’s footsteps come toward him, so while his eyes are closed, he’s not surprised to feel a soothing hand on his back. “You don’t sound like you’re feeling very good,” Arlo says, his soft voice managing to break Ben away somewhat from his pity party.

Ben wants to respond with an eloquent explanation of how he’s not feeling good because of the aforementioned army of ants setting up occupation in his sinuses, but instead he offers only a weak “ugh,” before doubling over to sneeze down at his lap.

“Bless you,” Arlo says, still rubbing Ben’s back. “I really think you should stay in and rest.”

Ben sits up straighter and looks at Arlo. “It’s only allergies,” he says, using the back of his hand to wipe his streaming nose. He grimaces at the wetness. “I don’t need to ‘rest.’”

Arlo’s brows knit together. “I don’t know…. Your body really seems to be putting up quite the fight against something. I feel exhausted just looking at you,” he says, then offers a sheepish smile as if to soften the words.

Ben stares at Arlo, his mouth parted since breathing through his nose has become impossible. While air doesn’t seem to be able to travel through his nose, snot certainly does because Ben feels moisture dripping past his nostrils. He quickly sniffs it up, but the dampness is still present, so he once again recruits the back of his hand in his efforts to not become a mucus-soaked blob of a person.

Arlo laughs softly, then quickly brings a hand up to cover his mouth. “Sorry. I don’t mean to laugh. You just do truly seem miserable and, honestly, I think going out is only going to exacerbate the, uh… ant issue.”

“I’m goi-heeehhh — I’m going out. I’m goi — heehhh hehh hh? I’m going to see some fireworks if it ki-hih-kills me-heehhhh.” Ben stares up at the ceiling light as he feels his nostrils flaring. “Oh god, I need my ha-hahhh-handkerchief fuck!” Ben grabs the already soaked piece of cloth from his lap and shakily brings it up to his face, clutching it firmly against his face. His shoulders tremble and tears slip from his eyes, running down his cheeks.

Arlo shifts closer to Ben and rubs soothing circles on his trembling back. “Oh, Ben…. Can I maybe do something for you? Get you something?” Ben hears Arlo say, but it’s as though the voice is coming from a far distance and not just mere inches away.

“I’m ab-about to have a very, ver-heh-ry bad ti-haahh-time. Maybe just leave so you don’t have to — HEH! — So you don’t have to s-s-s-hiiihh-see it,” Ben manages to say through his shaky, hitching breaths, his voice still muffled from the handkerchief.

He can tell there’s dozens upon dozens of sneezes itching to break free and as sweet and understanding of a soul as Arlo is, Ben can only handle so much embarrassment. It’s one thing to sneeze a few times here and throughout the day. But what Ben’s getting ready to have is decidedly not that. He wonders distantly if Arlo’s ever seen an allergy attack from Ben. He’s seen Ben sneeze — sure. Everyone who’s spent more than ten minutes with Ben has probably seen him sneeze more than a few times.

But has Arlo ever seen one of his attacks before?

Ben doesn’t have long to ponder this or to make the wise decision to head to the bathroom because his body is done stalling. It’s officially declared war and is ready to use all reinforcements to dispel the invading irritants.

He takes one deep breath — filling up his lungs to their full capacity — before the first sneeze is out.

“HHHHH HHHHH HED’ZCHHIIEEEWWWW!”

He hears Arlo say something, though Ben’s well and truly past the point of conversation and can’t even begin to decipher the words.

“HHH HHHH HHIIIHHHH! HIH IDZ’CHIEWW! IDzz’CHIiieeew! IDts’CHIIIEEEWWW! AHHHHH! HHHH HHHH F-fuuhh-uhhhh-fuuccckkk! ADtz’CHIIEEWW! Adt’zchiieewww! ADt’chiieewww! Heh heh heh HET’chiieeww! HH Chiew! CHIEW! CHIEW! CHIEW! HHHH! CHIEEWW! Heh-chhhh! Heh-chhhh! HEH! HEH-chhh! HEH-CHHHHH!”

Ben weakly attempts to blow his nose, but even that tiniest passage of air triggers another sneeze. “AHHdtz’CHIEW! CHIEW! CHIEW! CHiew! ET’shhh! Et’shhhh! Etsshhhh t’shhhhhh t’shhh e’tshhh e’tshhh HHHHHHHHHHHH! Hidz’chiew!

Ben manages to raise his head from his soaked handkerchief. He feels more sneezes burrowed inside him, scratching to get out, but he takes a moment to breathe.

“Ben? Hey, are you okay?” Arlo’s voice is so impossibly gentle and laced with such genuine concern that Ben’s heart aches to hear it. He wants to take Arlo’s hand in his and reassure him, but there’s no chance of that happening because —

“Adzt’CHIIEEEEWWW! At’CHieewww! Adt’chiiieeeeww! Adt’chiiieeeeww!Adt’chiiieew! Adt’chiieeww! Adt’chiiieeeeww! Adt’chiiieeeeww! HH! HHH! HEHEdt’CHIIEEWWW!”

Ben takes another deep breath before he’s stuck in the same cycle.

He knows several minutes must pass before he finally can finally get in multiple sneeze-free breaths. When he does, he leans back into the couch, his eyes closed, as he focuses on getting slow breaths in and out.

At some point, he feels something cool touch his hand and he opens his eyes to see it’s a water bottle. Ben takes the water bottle with a trembling hand from Arlo and takes a few sips. Then he puts the cap back on and presses the cool bottle against different parts of his face, relishing in the small amount of relief it provides to his swollen eyes and nose.

“Here, these might help,” Arlo says, as he passes a tissue box to Ben. Ben pulls out several — his handkerchief long past being of any use — and uses them to blow his aching nose.

He lets the tissues fall to his lap, then he curls up on the couch and rests his head on Arlo’s lap. This isn’t at all a common occurrence for the two, but Arlo doesn’t miss a beat and immediately begins threading his fingers through Ben’s hair.

Ben knows he should be embarrassed by the whimpering sounds emanating from him, but he can’t help it. He should also be embarrassed by the whole scene he just threw, but how can he when he’d just had the most brutal allergy attack he’s had in years? All the energy reserved for useless emotions like embarrassment left him — along with what feels like his entire soul — during the attack.

“That sounded so bad, Ben,” Arlos says finally, breaking the silence that had fallen between them. “Are you sure you’re okay? I mean, that was… that was an event. I’ve never seen you like that.”

“I’m okay. Miserable, but okay,” Ben says, sighing. “They’re getting worse — my allergies, I mean. Every year they seem to just get worse.”

Arlo hums before using his fingers to massage Ben’s scalp. Ben groans in pleasure. “Does that feel good?” Arlo asks and Ben can hear the smile in his voice.

“God, yes,” he moans. “Let’s just stay here forever, okay?”

“Stay here with you forever? I’ve never wanted anything more.”

At this moment, Ben feels like he should say something. Three words that have been gnawing at him for months. But he can’t. Every time he utters so much as “I,” his heart pounds and his stomach feels sick, and surely that can’t be a good sign. If he really… if he really loved Arlo, then surely it should be easier to say.

So instead he says “We need to get ready to leave.”

To Ben’s immense disappointment, Arlo’s fingers stop moving.

“I — Uh… Ben, I don’t think we do need to get ready to leave. You’re not feeling well enough to go anywhere and —”

“It’s just allergies,” Ben repeats for surely the five-thousandth time today.

There’s a long pause.

“Um, all that happened while you were inside. I don’t think an outdoor gathering is the best place for you right now,” Arlo says softly, resuming playing with Ben’s hair.

“Don’t care. I’m going anyway,” Ben mutters stubbornly into Arlo’s lap. He then rolls over, so he’s staring up at Arlo. “All I ever do is work. When I’m not working, I’m either too sick or too tired or…” Ben trails off, not wanting to talk too much about the main reason he usually chooses not to go out. “Or in too bad of a mood to even enjoy my time off,” he settles on saying. “So Irefuse to miss out on something I do every year for something as… something as stupid as allergies.”

Arlo lets out a long sigh. “I get it, okay? I know what it’s like to feel trapped by your body’s limitations. So, if this is something you really want to do… Then, fine, I guess?” Arlo says, sounding more than a little dubious. “But you have to take care of yourself, okay? I know you can’t take medication, but if you start feeling bad, go inside the house at least.”

Ben smiles up at Arlo. “I will. Promise,” Ben says lazily.

He slowly straightens up on the couch, ignoring the heaviness of his eyes and the all-encompassing fatigue now deeply settled into his body. He’s going to have a good time tonight even if he has to force it to happen.

#snz #snz fic #snzblr #snz kink

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