#Gordon got yoinked

[scribbiesan]

*smooch*

(Click on image for better quality)

This shit is done and I am so glad for it. Had fun messing around with the posing and shit, but that damn shadow… it gave me SUCH a hassle.

Anyway, here’s a Giant!Benrey snagging a Tiny!Gordon Feetman. Benrey wants smoochies. Gordon wants to go home. Hope y’all enjoy!

Toodles~!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

A Cat in the Kitchen

Part 1 (ft. Riddle and Silver) I Part 2 (ft. Trey and Kalim) I Part 3 (ft. Jade and Lilia) I Part 4 (ft. Deuce and Jamil) I Part 5 (ft. Malleus and Ruggie) | Part 6 (ft. Cater and Rook) | Part 7 (ft. Sebek and Floyd) | Part 8 (ft. Ace and Idia) | Part 9 (ft. Leona and Epel) | Part 10 (ft. Jack and Vil)

In which Gordon Ramsay-kun is isekai’d into Twisted Wonderland. Part Food Wars, part Hell’s Kitchen, all Master Chef—Night Raven College isn’t ready to take on this Michelin Star celebrity!!

Ready for a short supplementary cooking class?🌟 A day in the life of Prefect Gordon and his familiar Grim, told in three parts: breakfast, lunch, and dinner. After all, food is tastier when it's shared with friends and family~

Imagine this…

Gordon Ramsay stirred before the rats and the ghosts of Ramshackle dorm did. He was up by 5 am most days, first exercising and then rustling around in the kitchen fighting the gas stove to light (and stay that way!) and taking inventory of the dwindling ingredients in the pantry. At 7 am, the delicious smells would start up, rousing his housemates from their slumber.

This was the magic of a human incapable of spellcasting or sorcery.

"Mm... You're up super early again," Grim muttered from the doorway as he rubbed at his eyes. He yawned, still struggling to shake off the last remnants of sleep that clung to him. "I dunno how you do it."

"Not so hard once you've got the hang of it," he grunted in response. Gordon wiped his hands off on a dish towel before sliding a plate toward Grim. "Eat up now, we don't have much time before classes start."

"I dunno, I'm not too hungry."

"You? Not hungry?" Gordon's brows raised. "That's new. You feeling under the weather?"

Grim leapt, looking as though he had been caught with his entire body stuffed into a cookie jar. "N-No, I'm not! Yup, there's my hunger comin' back to me!"

He hurriedly yoinked a tuna sandwich and chowed down.

"See?! Ah'm jus' fine," Grim insisted, cheeks stuffed.

"Hmm, alright." Gordon tucked into a small bowl of oatmeal--prepared with baked bananas, almond milk, and dried cranberries.

"You got class today too or what?"

"Yup. Ashengrotto and the smaller Shroud this time."

“Think they’ll drive ya mad like the rest of them did?”

“I’ll hold my tongue until I’ve seen how they are in the kitchen for myself.”

“Keh, you’re no fun.”

The beast’s ears flattened. The blue fire that burned so brightly seemed to dim. Something weighed on his mind—of that, Gordon was certain.

“That means you'll abandon me before lunchtime again..." Between chews, Grim complained, "How come I gotta be just a student and you get to be a teacher too? The great Grim-sama oughta be showin' these newbies a thing or two!"

"I only teach what I know. I'm still a student in some ways, learning new things about food every day." Gordon shrugged, giving his friend a rough ruffle on the head. "You can be a teacher when you've mastered everything there is to master--neither of us is quite there yet."

"Why can't it be? I wanna fast forward to the part where I become an archmage already!!"

"Don't be impatient about making progress. I’ve made hundreds of dumplings in a day and still came nowhere near the level of perfection of a dim sum master.“

“Tsk, that sucks. Didja at least get to eat the bad dumplings?”

“It was all I had that day. They weren’t fit to serve to customers.” Gordon shook his head. “My point is, you’ll get there one day. Nose to the grindstone, Grim. You've got to work hard to earn it."

He spooned up the remainder of his oatmeal, then deposited his dirty bowl and spoon in the sink. Gordon plucked up Grim, who still had a mouth full of tuna, and tucked him under one arm.

“M-Myah?!“

“Right then, let’s head out. Brisk morning jog to wake up the senses—it’s a brand new day!”

“Lemme finish my breakfast first, sheesh!!”

Three classes before lunch, and they all went about as well as Gordon had expected them to. (That was to say, not well at all.)

During first period Alchemy, Grim had earned the ire of Crewel by disregarding the potion recipe. In spite of Gordon's reminders and warnings, Grim had taken one too many missteps. The wrong ingredient, the incorrect amount, the temperature too low or too high, the stirring too much or not enough.

He was then caught catnapping during Magic History and extensively told off by both Trein and Lucius. (The meowing had gotten very intense.) Gordon had apologized profusely in Grim's place.

Flying had not fared any better--Grim struggled to concentrate, his unsteady magic causing his broom to wildly buck, attempting to chuck him off. Gordon had to stop his rep of 100 push-ups to fetch his friend out from a shrub. Twigs poked at him, leaves caught in his fur.

By the time they were dismissed back to the locker rooms, Grim had melted into a furry puddle on Gordon's shoulder. "Maaan, I'm beat!! That was rough!"

"Rougher than usual." Gordon crunched on an apple. He had taken to the habit of eating small platters or snacks throughout the day over whole meals—it was more efficient for his lifestyle. “Something you want to tell me, or…?”

“N-Nothing’s up!” Grim snapped. "Quit worryin' about me. It's the boss's job to do that for their minion."

The chef rolled his eyes as he set Grim down on the floor beside him. He handed off a boxed lunch wrapped in a checkered cloth. "I'm off to teach. You'll be fine on your own, right? Find Trappola and Spade, settle down with your food, and don't cause trouble."

"I got it already!" Grim huffed. "Catch ya after...?"

"Always." His smile was strained, a bit tired but true. "Maybe I'll bring back some disastrous stories to share with you over dinner."

One last pat on the head, and then he was gone. Hustling down the hall, the white of his pristine chef’s jacket vanishing behind a corner.

Grim managed the rest of the hike to the cafeteria, balancing his lunch in his paws. He squeezed past the legs of various mob students, emerging safely on the other side. They rushed to line up for trays of food.

Suckers, Grim thought, paying in cash for food. Luckily for me, I’ve got something way better than whatever they’re serving.

“Oiiii, Grim! Over here!!” someone called to him. He looked—and there they were, the duo of troublemakers, marked by a heart and a spade upon their faces.

“Ace! Deuce!”

He scampered over to the two Heartslabyul freshmen. They had already secured their lunches, as well as an open seat for him.

“Hard night? Looks like you didn't get much sleep," Deuce commented. A fluffy omelet wobbled atop a mountain of ketchup fried rice on his plate.

“He's right, you really do look awful," Ace added cheerily--blunt as ever. He had opted for a slice of some savory pie, vegetables and meat oozing out from a buttery crust.

"Sh-Shuddap! The great Grim-sama was up all night cookin' up something big!" He slammed a paw down on the table. "Just look at your sorry lunches. They can't compare to what I have!"

"Did Prefect make your meal again? You should try to not trouble him too much.”

"’S not like I tell’m to! He does it on his own!” Grim snickered to himself. "He takes all these cheap ingredients and throws'm together to make these tasty dishes."

"Well, don't keep us waiting in suspense," Ace groaned. "Show us what you have already."

“Let’s see, let’s see!”

Grim undid the fabric knot that held his lunch in a swathe. The checkered pattern peeled back and the lid, once removed, yielded a creamy, cheesy bed of tuna bake.

Gordon had taken his beloved canned tuna and fried it down into flakes. It was then combined with a special mixture of seasonings, pasta shells, melted cheeses, onions and broccoli, and topped with bread crumbs. After a generous bake in their ancient oven, the dish had come out golden brown and bubbling.

“Whoooa, smells delish!!” all three of them drooled.

“Lucky bastard,” Ace muttered. He quickly put on a cheeky grin, his spoon prepared. “Ne, ne~ Lemme try some, Grim!“

“D-Don’t be cheeky, Ace! You can’t demand to mooch off of someone else’s lunch,” Deuce scolded his peer. “… Even if it does look really good.”

“Paws off!!” Grim shielded the box with his body. “My minion made this for me and me only!”

“Tch.” Ace’s expression dropped. “You get to eat like a king for free while the rest of us have to shell out and make do with whatever’s on the school’s menu.”

“It’s not that bad,” Deuce pointed out. “It’d be nice to be able to eat for free but I’m happy with the quality of food we get for the price.”

“This comin’ from the guy who was running low on pocket money for a snack the other day?” he smirked.

“H-Hey, I need to budget, okay?!”

While the duo bickered, Grim had started to shove his face into the box (silverware was too difficult to maneuver) and wolf down his meal. Cheese sauce painted his fur, bits of broccoli and tuna dotting his jaw.

It was heaven—or as close to heaven as he could get on the earth.

He licked his lips appreciatively, mopping up what was left on his face. Not even a little could go to waste. Grim was determined.

As he went back in for another mouthful, he felt a phantom hand cascade across his head, his back. Advice from that morning filled his mind.

“You’ll get there one day. Nose to the grindstone, Grim. You've got to work hard to earn it."

He shut his eyes, making a silent vow.

I’ll definitely… definitely pay ya back for all the hard work you’ve been puttin’ in too, partner.

Gordon bid farewell to the ghost chefs on his way out of the kitchen. The day’s leftovers and unused ingredients overflowed from his arms—a perk of the teaching gig, which helped to feed him and his feline roommate. He mentally parsed through what was available, dreaming up new dishes for the days to come.

There was a nice chunk of fresh tuna (Grim would love it) in his brown paper bag. Perhaps he’d sear it with a sesame crust, then drizzle the seafood in a yuzu-lime dressing to brighten it. He’s plate it with a microgreens salad. Chives, arugula, celery, radish, and ruby sorrel to encourage Grim to eat a variety of vegetables.

He made his way out of the school building and down the long, winding path to Ramshackle dorm. The sun was still out, warming the worn Prefect.

On the front porch, he rustled around in his pants for the keys. When he finally fished it out and inserted the teeth into the lock, Gordon swore he heard a series of suppressed giggles from beyond the door.

Odd.

The door swung open, and he was immediately accosted.

"Welcome baaack," the Ramshackle Ghosts chirped. One ushered him in from behind, another too his groceries off of his hands, and a third tugged him along by the arm.

"Come this way! Grimmy's got a treat for ya!"

"He's been working hard on it the second he got back from his last class."

"Oooh, you're gonna LOVE it!"

"What about dinner?" Gordon protested, watching his beloved ingredients sail off.

He was thrusted into their dingy kitchen--which doubled as the dining room, thanks to the table and chairs set up in one cobwebbed corner. The same old Ramshackle he woke up to every day. Rusty knobs and hinges, chipped cupboards, electricity and running water that blinked in and out.

But there, set on a table with uneven legs and splintered wood, was something extraordinary.

It was a stout cake, iced in light blue with a layer of dripping white and several lit candles stuck into the top. Black frosting formed the vague shape of a fish, TUNA piped over it in white. A single lollipop--pale blue, and in the shape of a paw--casually rested against the cake, as if it had been tossed on top for an extra flair.

A furry mass tackled and hugged Gordon's leg.

"Grim?!"

He was suited up in his own little chef's uniform. It was deep gray, verging on black, his apron tied with a striped-purple ribbon. A tiny toque--a chef's hat-- sat between his ears, a bandage over the bridge of his nose. A smear of white icing decorated his left cheek, and he carried with him a telltale piping bag squeezed thin.

Gordon blinked. "You did this?"

"Nyahahah! Were you surprised?"

"You told me you couldn't cook to save your life."

"He can't," a ghost piped up as he deposited the groceries onto a counter. "He's worse than I was when I was alive!"

"That's why Grimmy's been getting up in the dead of night lately. Been, what? Gotta be a few weeks now."

"He's been practicing his baking and then cleaning up the traces of his crime before you get up."

"What..."

"I wanted to pay ya back, yanno! For all the cookin' and cleanin' and whatever," Grim mumbled shyly, kicking at the ground. "So I figured I'd treat ya for once! I was thinking of a sticky toffee pudding at first since that's your favorite, but... it gets so sticky, it was hard to work with!"

He patted his stomach. "I couldn't put my stuff in the trash can or else you'd notice, so I had to eat up all my mistakes too! It was a lotta effort and way harder than it looked, so you'd better be grateful!!”

Grim looked away, rubbing at his bandage.

“… It helped me better understand and appreciate all the things you do on the daily.”

It clicked.

Everything suddenly made sense. Grim's tiredness, lack of focus, decreased appetite, defensiveness—it was all for this very moment.

"... I see." Gordon bent down, a smile taking shape on his mouth. A steady kindling in his chest. “This is your way of saying ‘thank you’.”

“M-Maybe! An archmage has gotta take good care of his minion,” Grim muttered.

The prefect laughed softly. “And you’re doing a great job at it. Hang tight, I'll get the stove going and whip us up some seared tuna to go with the cake."

“Myah?! Y-You’ve got tuna? Like, the real stuff?!” Grim’s eyes were wide and sparkling. A line of drool ran down his chin. "Fancy tuna...!!"

"Yeah. We can plate some for the ghosts too--so they can join us for a meal in spirit." Gordon nodded at their other roommates. Their pale faces brightened with excitement.

"Can we really?"

"It's been so long since I was last invited to a celebration like this!!"

"Oh, but we can't eat... Ghosts don't have digestive systems. The tune would pass right through us."

"... Grim, you have eat their shares. More importantly, it's being together for the occasion that matters, right?"

"Whoo-hoo!! You're the best minion an archmage could ask for!!" Grim cheered, leaping into the air, furry fist pumping.

“Let's get this dinner party started…!”

[yetanothergreyjedi]

Left and Returned: Definitely Nothing Wrong

Danny Phantom x Supernatural Crossover

Part 2 Part 3

Ao3 (includes additional notes)

Chapter 4

"I'm sorry I didn't believe you guys about time travel." Dean announces at breakfast. 

"Almost wrote yourself out of existence, didn't you?" Danny guesses. 

"Not exactly… but how? How could you possibly guess that ?"

"You have the look. It's awful. Arguably worse than fighting a potential future evil version of yourself."

Dean thinks about that. He compares this experience to the demon him from the dreamroot thing. "...yeah this was definitely weirder."

Danny shrugs.

"So... how did you end up in a time travel adventure last night? I think if the Trickster came back we'd see some more signs." Sam asks.

"Castiel dropped in, confirmed the apocalypse stuff."

"Then dropped you back in time?"

"Yeah... apparently Mom made a demon deal for Dad's life. It's why..." Dean stopped himself, he barely knew Danny, what was he thinking! 

"I know?" Danny offers, looking between Sam and him.

"Right..." Dean continues. He doesn't think Danny will go all Gordon Walker on them, but if he had all the details... Dean isn't giving all the details. "Castiel also said it was Lillith who broke the seal." 

"He's sure?" Sam asks at the same time Danny asks,

"Lilith is a demon right?"

"Yeah, she's a demon, and I don't think Castiel would tell us if he wasn't sure."

"Any problem if I kill her?" Danny asks. And the quick reaction makes Dean glad he didn't elaborate on Sammy's thing.

"We've been trying." Sam tells him. "If you get the chance, please."

Danny gives a thumbs up. And Dean feels sorry that he has to drop the mood even further. "They're trying to release Lucifer."

"What's a Lucifer?"

"Ha ha." Dean says, it would probably be funny if they had any plan for beating 'a Lucifer'. But Danny... he doesn't look like he's joking. Then Sammy's phone goes off and he leaves Dean to deal with this conversation himself. Traitor.

"Lucifer like, The Devil, Lucifer."

"Oh, a name, got it! You have beef with this guy or something? "

"He's going to try to end the world."

"Think he'll be better, or worse at it than The Pariah?"

"Who's the Pariah?"

"... guy who yoinked a small town off the face of the earth for a week? Has a skeleton army?"

"What?! Kid, are you sure you're not talking about a cartoon or something?!"

"It'd be hard to forget, was around the time Vortex did his thing. Actually a lot of stuff happened then, that year was wild."

"Lucifer will have an army of Demons." Dean said, because if he didn't stay focused he was going to end up following Danny’s rabbit trails till the world ended.

"Yeah, that's not ideal. Freeing a lot of possessed people is a lot harder than wack-a-mole skeleton edition."

"I'm not going to ask." Sam returns to the table. He probably came to the same conclusion about Danny's stories a few months ago. "That was Travis, he wants us to look into something."

"Now?" Danny asks.

"Yeah, there's this guy, Jack Montgomery, has something going on with him."

"Okay, 1 problem." Danny continues.

"What kind of problem?"

"Oh, not a problem for you, Dean. But I have a sister, who has this friend, see. And she spent all of yesterday warding off marked spirits, and he hasn't called her back after playing phone tag all day.

Sam swore. Fumbling to get his phone back out of his pocket. His brother had been a mess yesterday. He'd leave a voicemail, but be in a situation while she called back. He'd gotten a voicemail after the witnesses were released, he'd left a voice-mail then too. Apparently, the loverbirds hadn't actually spoken yet.

"Oooh, Sammy's in the doghouse, huh?"

"Not yet, I'm supposed to drag him home first."

Dean grinned, "Do I get to meet the lovely Lady?" 

"I think you'll have too, though seriously, she'll understand it if this is time sensitive. Mind if I tag along?"

"Not at all, Sammy's a trouble magnet. He could use all the help he could get."

---

"Don't you love when this stuff mean spying on a man in his own home." Danny deadpans. He's not using the binoculars, holding them like they're personally offensive. 

"There are worse parts of the job." Dean reminds him, Jack Montgomery is rummaging through his fridge. "This guy? I mean this guy's boring"

"I don't know, Dean. Travis seemed pretty sure."

"Did he give any indication of what we're supposed to be— oh."

Oh was correct. Dean watched Montgomery  just abandon the leftovers and start in on a pack of ground beef. Raw ground beef.

"I'd say that qualifies as weird." Sam notes. Like that needed to be said.

---

"Thanks for helping out an old man. I'm a little, uh, shorthanded." Travis lifts his cast covered atm and They laugh politely at the bad joke. Then he gets straight to the point, and Dean's glad they're done pretending to catch up. It's awkward with Danny lurking behind them. "You track down Montgomery?"

"Yeah, we found him at his home." Sam tells him.

"And?"

"Well, he had a hell of a case of the munchies, topped off with a burger he forgot to cook."

"That's him alright."

"What's him?"

"Boys, we got a rougarou on our hands."

"A rougarou?" Dean looks to Sam for a convenient monster summary(or movie title, that would work too.). Sam gives him nothing. "Is that made up? That sounds made up."

"They're mean, nasty little suckers. Rotted teeth, wormy skin, the works." Travis tells them.

"Well, that ain't this guy. I mean, he was wearing a cellphone on his belt."

"He'll turn ugly soon enough. They start out human, for all intents and purposes."

"So, what?" Sam asks, "They go through some kind of metamorphosis?"

"Yep, like a maggot turning into a bull fly."

"No need to be cruel." Danny chides. Travis pauses, looks at Danny with an expression thats not quite a sneer. Dean really hopes that's not gonna become a problem.

"They're hungry things.” Trevor continues, ignoring the kid's glare. “First for everything, until they get a taste for human flesh. Once they get a taste they transform. One bite's all it takes. Eyes, teeth, skin; all turns. No going back either. They feed once, they're a monster forever. And our man Jack's headed there on a bullet train."

"Well, how'd you find this guy if he's a walking, talking human?" Dean demands.

"Lets just say it runs in his family."

"You mean, uh..." Sam trails off.

"Killed his daddy back in '78. Son of a bitch mangled 8 bodies before I put him down. Guy used to be a dentist. Cadillac, trophy wife... Little did I know, pregnant trophy wife. She put the boy up for adoption. By the time I found out, he was long gone, lost in the system."

The air in the room changes, this time in a way that's familiar. The unspoken threat looms... 

"You mean to tell me you couldn't find someone?" Sam asks, undeterred. Sam doesn't feel it.

Travis sighs. "I'm not sure I wanted to. The idea of hunting down some poor kid... I don't think I'd have the heart. No. I wanted to wait, make damn sure I had the right man. Apparently, I do."

The air itself has teeth, and breathing takes effort. Travis doesn't notice either. He takes a swig of his beer.

---

Travis might not notice that Danny is friggen weird, but after the comment earlier he does notice that the kid is incredibly uncomfortable. He singles the kid out to prep the flame throwers, not letting him escape with Sam. 

Dean took a chance and elbowed the kid in his side, hard enough to hurt but not hard enough to bruise. Made a face at him and the kid had quit messing with the room's... well, the room's vibes . 

Travis seemed under the impression that Danny was just new to this life, and Dean would prefer to keep it that way.

"So fire, huh?" They'd been subjected to a few stories of past hunts, and the kid had withdrawn more with each of them. Dean wants to change the subject but can't find a natural way to do so.  Better they stay focused on this.

"The only way I found to kill these bastards; deep-fry 'em."

"Well, that's gonna be..." He glanced at the kid. "horrible. Is that what you did to Jack's dad?"

"Uh-huh," Travis starts, and Dean realizes he's  being an idiot. That's just gonna get a more on topic gruesome story, but Sam, best baby brother in the world, saves them. 

He walks through the door with an accusation. "Not wasting any time, are you?" 

"None to waste." Travis informs them. "The guy hulks out, we won't be finding bodies, just remains."

Sam sits down next to the table in a controlled movement. He's forcing himself to act calm. "What if he doesn't hulk out? I did a little homework. Uh, I've been checking out the lore on rougarous."

Danny's head shoots up. It reminds Dean of caged animal seeing possible freedom.

"What? My 30 years of experience not good enough for you?" Travis demands.

"What? No. No, I-I- I just wanted to be prepared. I mean, not that you didn't..."

"Sam loves research. He does. He keeps it under his mattress right next to his KY. It's a sickness." He looks over at Sam, hiding the rescue with some teasing. "It is."

"Look, everything you said checked out, of course, but uh. I found a couple of interesting stories about people who have this rougarou gene or whatever. See, they start to turn, but they never take the final step."

"Really?"

"See, if they never eat human flesh, they don't fully transform." Well, no wonder their monster-adjacent friend is freaked. Maybe he's something similar,  hanging onto his humanity with everything he can? 

"So what? Go vegan, stay human?"

"Basically. Or in this case, eat a lot of raw meat, just not..."

"Right."

"Good on you for the due diligence, Sam." Travis gets up to pace the room. Its unnecessarily dramatic. "But those are fairy tales. Fact is, every rougarou I ever saw or heard of... took that bite."

"Okay, well, that doesn't mean that Jack will." Sam stands too. 

"So what do we do? Sit and hope and wait for a body count?"

"No, we talk to him. Explain what's happening. That way he can fight it."

"Fight it?" Travis laughs. "Are you kidding me? You ever been really hungry? I mean, haven't-eaten-in-days hungry?"

"Yeah." Dean answers, Danny nods too. 

"Yeah. Right then. So somebody slaps a big, juicy sirloin in front of you, you walking away?"

"No," Dean mutters, because he wouldn't.

"Depends.” Danny challenges.” You know what happens if you eat that big hearty meal? If you haven't eaten in days ?"

"Uh, no." Dean was never been allowed to eat what he wants after the few times he'd been starving. 

"You get sick." Sam answers. Ok, that was probably explained to him, he just remembers being hungry and grouchy about it. 

Danny nods, "If you haven't eaten in days, and you have the right information, you eat something small and light that seems unsatisfying until you've gotten it all down.  You don't risk tearing open your stomach lining. And besides! How would you know about rougarou's who don't turn?! People aren't going to announce their fantasies of eating people! They're could be generations who resist and they'd look just like everyone else!"

"And you don't know that they're are." He looks between the two of them. "I'm sorry. I'm sure he's a stand-up guy, but it's pure, base instinct. Everything in nature's gotta eat. You think he can stop himself 'cause he's nice?"

"Coconut milk." Danny declares, and Dean almost laughs. He lets the absurd statement sink in for a moment before he continues. "Coconut milk can be used as a substitute for blood. There are vampires who live off it. They get night jobs, and exist exactly like everyone else. You've had what, twenty years? You've just been waiting for this guy to crack, did you bother to look? Did you ask why a rougarou might crave human flesh? 

“Because when we crave salt, or red meat or whatever, it's usually because the body is lacking in the nutrients it needs! This all might get solved by giving him a vitamin supplement!"

"We try to help him." Sam declares. "And we're not gonna kill him unless he does something to get killed for." 

---

Danny didn't make jokes when talking to Jack Montgomery. The seriousness was almost as jarring as the conversation.

See Dean's plan had gone something like this: 

1.)Tell the guy what he is. 

2.)Convince him they aren't insane.

3.)Tell him not to eat people or they'd be back.

Repeat step 2 as needed.

Danny started similarly, steps 1 and 2 are the same, but step 3...

"You're not alone. There are people I can put you in contact if you want. They might not be the same species, but they'll have similar experiences. They might have other suggestions that will help."

Danny has a list of substitutes, advice, a food journal to track what works better or worse. That conversation leads into another and another of things that might alleviate that hunger. Then how they leave…

"I don't need to tell you why you shouldn't eat human flesh. You obviously already know. But I will warn you about the change. 'A taste' is what the stories say, and I don't know if that means a bite, or mearly a drop of blood, But if the change happens, it cannot be undone."

And Jack nods, solemn. He makes his promise, and he thanks them.

---

It's Mrs. Montgomery who finds them hours later. She finds them by asking the diner's patrons "Who owns that awful van?!"

And Danny, the only one in town with a van that awful, raises his hand. 

She's confused and frantic, but she knows her husband thought they could help with... it's unclear what Jack told her, whether half truth or blatant lie, but now everything has fallen apart. 

---

Travis' car is in the driveway.

They don't have to break into the house. Even if they hadn't had the keys, the back door is already broken in.  

It's not a surprise when they find a body.  It's a carved up corpse not a charcoaled one. 

"What happened?" Danny isn't asking them. 

---

"He's not a hunter, is he?" Dean asks his brother. They watch from a room away as Jack Montgomery and Danny Fenton speak in hushed urgent tones. When Jack had turned into the livingroom, Sam had flinched and Dean had curled his lip in disgust. Danny hadn't reactioned and Jack had noticed. So, now Danny was the only one worthy of whatever this conversation was.

"He calls himself an electrician that knows too much." Sam answers. 

"How much do you know about how he works?"

"...enough.”

"Sam... I don’t think he's human."

Sam looks at him, watches his face as he asks, "and if he's not?"

"I don't know, Sammy. I wouldn't say he's hurting anybody."

"Dean, I think there's some things we need to talk about..."

"What?"

"Not here, not now. " Sam gestured to the bloody mess on the ground and the still blood covered man in the kitchen. "When this is sorted, we need to talk about what happened while you were dead."

---

"He's going to clean himself up and pack." Danny tells them. "Then we're going to pick up his wife, see what she wants to do, then we’re going. I'll meet you at Jazz's."

"You're taking him to the Coconut Vampires." Dean predicted. 

"Yeah." Danny didn't elaborate further. 

"How does that work? What if one of 'em falls off the rails or something?"

"They deal with their own."

"Right... Sam, you still have Lenore's number?"

"Yeah,"

Dean nods to him, and steps back out of earshot. Lenore, the leader of the Cattle-Blood-Instead-of-Human-Blood Vampires, probably needed to be in touch with the Coconut Vampires. Dean never asked Sam where they went, didn't need to know. Dean knew then if he'd known where, he'd be compelled to check in person, and they didn't need him poking through all their business. Sam kept track of the missing persons numbers where they stayed, and they hadn't needed to follow up.

He doesn't have high hopes for Jack, not really, but those two do, and others do. Castiel was right, he doesn't have much faith, and the least he can do to avoid spreading his doubt all over the place. Maybe they'll prove him wrong.

He hopes they prove him wrong.

[weirdowithaquill]

What are Sir Topham Hatt’s (and the engines) opinion on how privatization was handled? When I read about it, I always think how absurd it was to keep the track nationalized, but let other companies run the goods trains, then different run the passenger trains. It is a spaghetti mess. Sodor had the right idea to yoink the old Furness mainline.

Thank you for your ask! (and I'm really sorry for the long wait). This is actually going to be really fun to potentially answer, so let's see...

Officially, the NWR regards privatisation as: "an important milestone in Britain's railway history and the beginning of cooperation between the NWR and our partner railways throughout Great Britain." It's a very prim and proper way of saying "the only thing that changed was the name of the idiot company that keeps delaying our trains." In private however, reactions were very, very different.

For a few engines, it meant very little: Thomas in particular barely cared at all. "What'll change? Not my branchline, that's for sure!" he once snapped at Duck when the Western engine tried to goad him into ranting with him about privatisation. Duncan said something very similar to a visiting diesel, only his version was far too inappropriate to be put in writing. Ever.

In stark contrast, a lot of the engines had very loud opinions about the entire thing. Duck spent most of one night trying to tell anyone who would listen that it was "disgraceful, disgusting and despicable" that the GWR hadn't been reformed after privatisation. (Henry, James and Gordon had to be physically restrained by BoCo and Bear before they tore Duck a new funnel for stealing their catchphrases). Donald and Douglas both tried to convince the Fat Controller to send them to London to 'politely make a case for a fully independent Scottish network'... multiple times. They also managed to say such inappropriate things that Oliver had to double-head all of Douglas' trains for a month to act as a censor for his language!

Gordon decided to offer the press his own solution to the privatisation issue, which went something like this: "What we need, is four companies to look after trains in different parts of the country - like we used to." "Like the Big 4?" "Indeed!" "We can't do that, such a system is considered to be a monopoly, and the government won't allow it." "Alright then, how about this: we have one railway that runs in the North and the East... and down to London perhaps. Then we can also have one railway that runs in the Midlands, and in Scotland... and also down to London perhaps, so you have your competition. Then we could have a railway that is in the West, and one in the South-" "Like the Big 4?" "No! These companies would be completely different!" "Look, Gordon, the government has made it very clear that the Big 4 will not return." "Well then FUCK JOHN MAJOR AND ALL THE TORY PARTY! [...] There would be competition anyway, with the roads, don't those blithering idiots understand?! [...] If any of them took a train for once, they'd realise just how bloody stupid the whole thing is, the bunch of------" (About twenty minutes worth of ranting has been omitted, due to various constraints...)

It was no surprise to anyone that Gordon personally campaigned for the Labour Party in 1997.

Meanwhile, behind the scenes, Sir Stephen Hatt and his sister Bridget were frantically pouring over the old charters of the NWR, hoping to be able to keep the new companies off Sodor - and indeed they found they could, as a 1925 Government deal originally intended to keep the NWR independent of the LMS also (entirely by accident) meant that no private, standard-gauge railway company other than the NWR could operate on the Isle of Sodor. Sir Stephen happily shoved that document in parliament's face when they tried to privatise the NWR's various assets, and then got his deal for the Furness Line from a different parliament committee before anyone could cross-reference him. By the time anyone managed to question why exactly they were selling an entirely railway line to a man who had very loudly told them to 'shove off and leave my railway alone', Sir Stephen had already taken control.

Their opinion: "Why treat a railway like its an airline? Honestly, it'll just wind up causing more problems in the end. A railway is a public good - yes, it makes us a lot of money, but we still run it for the people of Sodor, not for - no, we don't know why they divided British Rail like that, it makes no sense to us either - please stop asking more questions before we can finish our thoughts."

Also, a small rather large side note - Britain's railway privatisation is a complex and very unique affair that really showcases how exactly not to privatise a railway network. For example: for around seven years, the railway infrastructure was owned by a private company called RailTrack... which was terrible at doing its job and caused a number of major railway accidents (See Hatfield, 2000; Southall, 1997; Ladbroke Grove, 1999) and then panicked after the Hatfield crash and basically shut the network down, leading to questions over its competence and the finally its re-nationalisation because - surprise surprise - a private company trying to produce profits really shouldn't be in charge of the safety of millions of people with almost no proper accountability. Worse yet, the monopolies that the Tories wanted to avoid by breaking up the system happened anyway - see EWS, which bought up almost all the freight franchises and created a monopoly, only to be bought by Deutsche Bahn, which created an even bigger monopoly as it also owned (at the time) Arriva (they sold Arriva in 2024). To worsen the spaghetti, the system was divided into three basic sections: the infrastructure (RailTrack), Train Operating Companies (who owned the trains) and Franchises (who ran the trains and hired staff). In other words: a ticket in the UK is so expensive because you are paying for: the train crew, renting the train, renting the track, renting the platforms and producing profits for shareholders.

Oh, and suddenly freight and passenger trains owned by different companies are all competing to have priority at every. single. signalbox. in the country.

Now, I am not an expert in fixing extremely broken railway systems, but even still, I feel like I could probably do better than this mess!

Thank you for reading!

[ratmannn]

Curious about your wizard oc(s)! Is there anywhere I could read about them? If not, I'd be so eager to get an infodump of some kind!

Thank you so much for opening Pandora's box

I have a full cast of them because I have uh

An addiction to oc making

So I'm gonna put it under read more!

:readmore:

A lot of my W101 ocs incorporate headcanons I still have to write my big infodump for but I'll do my best to summarize here before I start and elaborate as I go. The jist of it is I think that where a wizard spends the most of their formative time in the Spiral influences their appearance in ways that can be very obvious or pretty subtle, and if they originate from the Spiral it can complicate things further. For this reason, none of my OCs are supposed to really be "The Young Wizard" and are instead just accompaniments to other people's YWs during story quests.

And now I will do my explanations in order of level I have them at!

Zachary Wyrmtail (Lvl 76)

Zachary is my thaumaturge and the first character I made when I remade my account

Zachary is originally from Earth, but was kinda yoinked to the spiral so young that he doesn't remember it at all. He was raised in Marleybone, hence why he has dog ears and a tail (he also has a very good sense of smell)

Growing up in Marleybone was about as stifling as you can imagine, especially because he presented heavy magical talent from a young age that his folks had him repress for the sake of their reputation. At this early point in his wizardry career/study he was very reserved and shy, especially since there was a lot of cognitive dissonance from the tone of his childhood. Post-Elsa Arc though, he's a very upbeat and outwardly cheerful guy, while still doing his best to maintain the appearance of an upstanding gentleman. Being and icy boy though, he of course has a self sacrificing streak. Tank and all that. He used to want to be a police officer in Marleybone, but then he worked with (or for) the police in Marleybone and now just makes his living as a private investigation across worlds. The guy helped kill Malistaire the first time around, he's got good reviews.

Joshua Inkweaver (Lvl 56)

Joshua is my conjurer and is actually a pretty recent addition but we love him

Joshua was born and raised in Wizard City, living on Cyclops Lane his whole life before school started. It's not very visible in the first image but he actually has freckles on his face that are lighter than his skin. I call this stardusting and its a result of living in Wizard City for so long. He basically just has hlitter freckles. On the surface, Joshua is a mostly academically minded guy. His favored fashion is mostly in blue and black and he works as an archival assistant at the Wizard City Library, but being a conjurer, he obviously has a bardic streak. He's an aspiring fiction author and dreams of one day writing a work so prolific that there come to be myth spells based on it. He's got a sorta Gordon Ramsay streak of verbally eviscerating people who insist they know better than him only to prove they don't, but is very sweet and patient with everyone younger than him asking for help, even if just asking him for help is a test of courage for his juniors. He and his family go to the Then-Faire whenever it runs and he usually volunteers for the equivalent of Vegetable Justice where a guy heckles you while you pay to throw tomatoes at him. You can also tell hes gay as a fruitbasket because he spends a lot of time maintaining blue hair that no one ever sees because he wears a hood.

Eurydice Dragonglade (Lvl 23)

Eurydice is my resident Pyromancer by birth, Theurgist by choice

Eurydice is actually from Dragonspyre but was raised in Mooshu after being adopted out of her homeworld for obvious reasons. Most humans growing up in Mooshu gain the features of whatever farm animal people they're raised around, but the draconid in her instead turned her into more of a lung dragon. She had a very average upbringing really, but a strain of draconic blood in her gives her a really nasty hot-headedn streak, and considering she can literally breathe fire, this fact scares her really badly. She is the most severe bundle of nerves in the Spiral, apologizing for every percieved inconvenience regardless of fault. She's usually very overly gentle with everything and is really fond of gardening and training pets, either of her own or of other people. I may be called cringe for this next bit but she's coded very culturally Japanese and usually tacks -san only people's names because she just feels rude and icky if she doesn't.

Shannon Shadowheart (Lvl 17)

My beloved necromancer... She was my first character on my old account and I recently remade her for nostalgia reasons.

(Ignore the second one being a sketch, I'm running out of art I've done of them)

Shannon was also raised in Wizard City but her heritage lies in Dragonspyre and she's named after her grandmother, who lost her life fighting in the draconic siege of the world. She has a very cool and cold outward persona to cover for the fact that she is an irreparable failgirl. The CEO of fake idgafers. Her black cat in universe is her favorite thing ever and he's like 14 years old, has one tooth, and is occasionally dead but still walking. Old Chompers is literally only alive through necromancy but that's okay because he's a sweetheart. Places with a lot of death give Shannon a headache because her sensitivity to spirits is strong enough that they start trying to communicate all at once. She puts a lot of effort into her appearance and is bad at hiding when she's flattered by any compliments she gets. She's intimidating in the "mall goth that looks so cool" way but is a huge loser and heavily abiding to new people as long as they behave, being very fond of people who will chatter at her and accept an occasional "mhm" or "cool" from her.

Vincent Seabound (Lvl 12)

My resident diviner who makes it very obvious I'm used to playing Ice. I didn't clarify the queerness for a lot of the above chars but it's very important to me that it's known Vincent is a butch transgirl, he uses he/him and has very masc presentation but his actual gender is flat up and down girl.

Vincent is my resident mad scientist but he's very high intelligence low wisdom. He's also terrible with people and will occasionally just accidentally say the most insulting shit to your face. If you point this out though, he apologizes and asks for details on what made it insulting, so he can make notes about it and avoid the blunder in the future. He doesn't particularly care for people, but manners build trust and trust means people to help him test his various gadgets and doohickeys. He's also adopted to Wizard City, but he's not sure from where. He appears human at first glance, but around the beginning of his schooling, he started having his mermaid arc. The tail he gets is based on the Black Dragonfish. He's a very funny little gal I think and I like him as a character but I'm. So bad at Storm. It's not even funny.

Sasha Draketouch (Lvl 9)

I'm gonna be honest I don't have any art of him that I'm satisfied with. He's my pyromancer and he's very new so I haven't gotten very far with him beyond him being an absolute little shit. Cocky, annoying on purpose, mocking, the whole nine yards. I hate him, he's my wonderful son. I haven't played him much because he's a character I stream on discord for my friends who can't pay for memberships but still want to be insane about W101 with me

[lilicannotfly]

Mkay so I’m stupid and very tired but idea/explanation lols

this whole thing is set in Twisted Wonderland btw. Any world building past halfway through book 6 isn’t real. Most doesn’t exist really. I’m just bored lols.

also I think I’m at like s1 e22 of spy x family and book 6 chap 67 of twst so be be warned or something. Oh and spoilers for everything else ig

Dipper is still looking through the journals but they lead to King Andrias and his whole deal with the core, and over the course of the story Dipper and Mabel befriend Azul (he gets dragged in unwittingly it’s really silly.) Big Bunny Dean is there ’cause I thought it’d be funny if he bought partial ownership of the Mostro Lounge (I suppose he made an offer that Azul (and Jade because they seem to have joint ownership of it) couldn’t resist use your imagination I’m not that creative✨✨)

And then after the core is defeated, it’s discovered that Dipper and Mabel belong on Earth and not in twst (Oop) and someone up their family line acidentally got yoinked there and just…stayed. So maybe they’re born with a bit of magic? I forget how(if it’s even explained) magic manifests in twst but they might have it I dunno man I don’t make the rules. Maybe they decide to go to earth and that’s how Crowley gets dragged in to ‘trying’ to get them home to earth. Anyhow.

Okay okay okay so even stupider but every time I saw the fire for the culinary crucible I thought of Gordon Ramsey so what if Eden College students (with Prinviple Bump as a co-headmage at NRC because why tf not lols they definitely need ’im) visit NRC for the culinary crucible ‘cause it’s good to learn cooking when you’re young, and who better to teach ya than Ina Garten, Gorden Ramsey, and Martha Stewart(with Snoop Dogg thrown in as a treat?)? (And then watch it be the nastiest food you’ve ever tried LOLS) And stella stars/Demetrius bolts are given out based on your end score. (Scores work the same way as in the game it’s not even that deep)

idk I think it’d be silly I think it’d be goofy and fun :3

[puppetmaster13u]

I've been asked to share more lol.

@internet-m0m @fandomwandererer (Apologies if I misspelled and @ the wrong people)

SO. The full colony list. Is uh, pretty long (still working on things because people keep helping me find more obscure batfam members (which please continue doing I love that shit)) I'll probably reblog with the colony x list(s) if yall are also interested in that lol. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alfred Pennyworth: Agent A

Kate Kane: Batwoman

Bruce Wayne: Batman

Barbara Gordon: Batgirl / Oracle

Dick Grayson-Wayne: Robin / Nightwing

Cassandra Cain-Wayne: Batgril / Black Bat

Jason Todd-Wayne: Robin / Redhood 

Stephanie Brown-Drake-Wayne: Robin / Spoiler

Tim Drake-Wayne: Robin / Red Raptor (or Seeker)

Duke Thomas-Wayne: Signal 

Damian Head-Wayne: Robin 

Jarrod “Jarro” Starr-Wayne: Sparrow 

In most cases these are the usual Batfam members, now we get to the additions for Colony+ lol:

Thomas Wayne: Camazotz *Flashpoint Thomas who fell through 

Thomas Wayne Jr: Owlman *Crime Syndicate ish timeline where Bruce & Martha died

Minkhoa Khan: Ghostmaker

Selina Kyle: Catwoman

Mimon “Mim” Wayne: Batzarro “Zarro”

Harleen "Harley Quinzel: Harley Quinn

Pamela Isley: Poison Ivy

Dick “Rex” Grayson: Shrike *Vampire Dick Grayson altered to fit whatever the AU is

Damian “Dami” Wayne: Strix *A Damian half-raised by Dick who is sometimes also a vampire

Jayson “Jace” Todd: Talon I *The semi-adopted son of Owlman who nearly died at the hands of the Jokester

Richard “Ricky” Grayson: Talon II *The second son of Owlman after the death of the Graysons 

Jean-Paul Valley: Azrael *Got yoinked from the Dumas cult by the batfam a few years earlier than when he left in canon usually

Bruce “Bruno” Wayne: ??? *Battinson Bruce from a timeline where the explosion killed his Alfred 

Harper Row: Bluebird

Carrie Kelley: Robin

Troy Walker: Beacon / Kinglet 

Andre Cipriani: Glimmer / Grackle

Daxton Chill: Balefire / Wren

Riko Sheridan: Pharos / Thrush

Isabella “Izzy” Ortiz: Ouzel

Darcy Thomas: 12 yrs old | Weaver *Part of Duke’s classmates who usually acts as the daytime shift's girl-in-the-chair

Helena Kyle-Wayne: Huntress *The daughter of Selina & Bruce from another timeline usually

Cullen Row: Nightjar

Athanasia Head-Wayne: Robin *Damian's sister / twin in some timelines

Hequiq “Heretic” Head-Wayne: Robin *One of many clones, let them keep their clone siblings

Tallant Head-Wayne: Robin

Daee Head-Wayne: Robin

Dilhan Head-Wayne: Robin

Dyab Head-Wayne: Robin

Dana Head-Wayne: Robin

Colin Wilkes: Osprey *Canon name is Abuse, the kid who Scarecrow experimented on & can hulk out

Terry Mcginnis-Wayne: Batknight

Lucas Fox: Batwing

Mia “Maps” Mizoguchi: Robin or Itsumade

Nell Little: Hawkmoth

Matt McGinnis-Wayne: Cardinal 

Tiffany Fox: Batgirl

Hudde Grayson-Wayne:  Hush *A cadmus clone of Dick who tried to kill Batman (in these timelines they managed to restrain & help him with the whole brainwashing)

Bruce Wayne Jr: Kiwi

Alina Shelley-Wayne: Dove

Kiki Wayne:  1 yr old | Sunbird *A child conjured into being by the 5th dimensional imp Batmite in the animated series

Lance Bruner: ?? *Son of one of the original Thomas’ Dr friends whom became Bruce’s ward after his father’s murder

Mary Elizabeth Kane: Hawkfire

Sasha: Scarlett 

“Sage” Wilson-Head: Respawn *In some cases they stole him, in some cases Talia kind of dropped him off- or sometimes Slades' other kids do so

Bao Pham: Clownhunter

Rory Regan: Ragman *Yall need to check him out, genuinely

Charlie Gage-Radcliffe: Misfit

*In AUs where they're in the family Shazamily usuallystill live in Fawcett, but Bruce paid for a proper home for them alongside setting up several Zeta-Tubes for them to use whenever they need to get to other places, including Gotham & Bludhaven

Mary Batson: 12 yrs old | Ms Marvel / Condor

Billy Batson: 10 yrs old | Cap. Marvel / Chaffinch

Freddy Freeman: 10 yrs old | Blue / Jay

Pedro Pascal: 10 yrs old | Jade / Pipit

Eugene Choi: 10 yrs old | Silver / Falcon

Darla Dudley: 6 yrs old | Violet / Starling 

(If you think the bats wouldn't give them codenames to talk about their usual child selves I'm sorry to tell you you're wrong. They would all have codenames to safely talk about each other without revealing identities.) (Yes this also includes the batkids who are too young or have no interest in vigilante work like Alina or Kiki or whoever else in the timeline the AU(s) take place in lol)

*ALSO sometimes included are Talons (Some might be familiar from some of my prompts) though that depends on the AU and timeline and if I'm including Court of the Owls stuff or not lol. (Most are they/them until they figure out their own identities because no one wants to just call them it.)

River Talon: 25 yrs old?

Stone “Coal” Talon: 19 yrs old?

Blade Talon: 23 yrs old?

Buddy Talon: 15 yrs old?

Sky Talon: 20 yrs old?

Wolf Talon: 18 yrs old?

Onyx Talon: 21 yrs old?

Data Talon: 27 yrs old?

*They got their nicknames/chose names based off of things they like. And yes there's question marks on their ages because no one really knows, what with the whole forced hibernation undead thing

Tell me about the Colony+ AU

So colony+ is technically a series of AUs for my existing AUs. And the other name for it is pretty self explanatory: Full Colony.

It's a, what if *insert AU* but it was all the batfam from every series included.

So for an example I'm going to put forth my main Cryptid Batfam AU. In it the bats included are Bruce, Alfred, Kate, Barbara, Dick, Cass, Jason, Stephanie, Tim, Duke, Damian & Jarro. 12 people.

In a full colony AU, it'd be at least 60, with Bruce having almost 40 kids alone without including things like unnamed clones. There's also the ColonyX AUs of the Colony+ which is the same, just also includes crossovers like Danny Phantom, Marvel, or whatever else.

Does that make sense?

[pileoftrashsstuff]

do the sausage engine move like seals on land or like inchworms this is plaguing my mind

Unfortunately for you, I can not choose between the two.

[nerdepic]

more hlvratla.......... forzen time!! {blood tw}

[ first part ] 

edit the link is fixed now and no longer goes to a tweet about bread 

[scribbiesan]

…… Seems I’m in a HLVRAI mood. Took inspo from other artists who draw HLVRAI Gordon, with my own little spin. I need to finish some minor detailing, as well as the BG, and it should be done tomorrow? Maybe?? Kinda had fun with a new brush for outlining, as well as his hair. It’s so loopy!

Anywho, hope y’all enjoy. I gotta take a nap bc i got woke up at ass-o’clock this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep.

Toodles~!

[thatsastepladder]

A little more nuance on that I couldn't fit into my tags: my feelings toward Dick/Babs are very multifaceted. In a vacuum - and in alternate continuities like Young Justice and the DCAU (never mind Bruce Timm's Bruce/Babs fixation) - it isn't a bad pairing. It's just the very messy context surrounding how it got to be a pairing in the first place and the ensuing fandom opinions on the pairing that I'm not fond of.

I'm not going to say that pre-Crisis Barbara Gordon was a good character necessarily - I haven't read enough of her comics to say so. But she was definitely interesting from a high-level view, having a career outside of Gotham as a politician (which implies that she was at least 25 compared to Dick just starting college around the same time). DC obviously didn't feel the same way, and eagerly threw her on the discard pile of characters that didn't make sense any more in the grimmer, grittier post-Crisis Batman landscape.

(God bless John Ostrander for rescuing her and reinventing her into Oracle.)

Meanwhile, Dick and Kory were going strong over in New Teen Titans, which eventually dropped the "Teen" from its name and along with it artist/co-plotter George Perez. After Perez's departure the book began a long spiral into mediocrity, with writer/editor Marv Wolfman staying on the title far too long and causing the sales to absolutely crater.

Which, in turn, led to Dick getting yoinked away back to the Batbooks after his and Kory's wedding didn't go as planned. Dick and Kory's relationship was recast as far more surface-level than it actually was, in order to promote the newfangled idea that Barbara - now closer to Dick's age - was his one true love, although they never actually got together until very recently.

And firmly within the talons of the Batman editorial office Dick has stayed ever since - which means that, until Taylor brought the Titans in, he's been restricted to fairly street-level stories in his solo titles because god forbid he interact with people who have actual superpowers and can wipe the floor with KGBeast without batting an eye.

(Which, in turn, has led to the fandom argument against Dick/Kory that they can't date because Kory would trivialize Dick's stories. I find this argument absurd, because it makes the assumption that if Dick and Kory were to date, she'd automatically be fighting drug lords in Bludhaven with him. It's like people haven't ever heard of partners having different day jobs or something - there's no reason Kory can't go fight Kanjar Ro while Dick is beating up a bunch of ninjas.)

But yeah anyway, I don't dislike Dick/Babs, I just dislike all the real-world circumstances that led to it becoming a thing, and how Dick's become more or less stuck in Batman's orbit ever since Dixon.

My ideal Nightwing is as follows: he's got the connections of Batman and the charisma of Superman. He's the guy people follow because they want to (while Bruce is the guy they follow because they're afraid to say no). Dick should be out here having globetrotting adventures to the far-flung corners of DC Earth, drawing upon his wealth of connections to get whatever help he needs and having one hell of a fun time while doing so.

You know what, Dick should be the anchor character in the Brave and the Bold. Let him be the one teaming up with a different hero every month for once - it'd be good enrichment for him.

[blursed-ninjago-ideas]

It ‘‘twas I who came up with the Garmadon who ran the Eric Andre equivalent show in ninjago au. I say this fully unmasked now because I have no shame. (Also I may have binged some of Andre’s material earlier today) But uh anyways I got some more ideas for this

Garmadon has run out of fucks and he needs a hobby. Also he doesn’t want to just follow in the family business of being some sagely master.

So Garmadon decides to say fuck and it be a late night show host with heavy focus on absurd humor.

The public broadcast station has no standards and hey it’ll raise awareness and potential funding. They may also be intimidated by Garmadon’s reputation.

Listen Garmadon does have some funny one liner’s and dad jokes in the earlier seasons of ninjago.

Lloyd supports Garmadon’s insane show and helps write some of it too.

Misako was hesitant but eh if Garmadon wants to be a himbo and it helps him recover. Then why not and it’s funny.

Garmadon also yoinked Dareth as a cohost because he feels bad about burning the dojo and hey Dareth’s funny enough.

There’s this one prank Eric pulls on the subway where he didn’t get the job at Froot loops.

Said prank https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9UlXcoVHnog

Ok but just replace Froot Loops with master Chen’s noodles.

Garmadon is petty and Chen’s noodle house becomes a running gag on the show

Imagine you’re just an average citizen who just got off from your shitty retail job and you’re on the subway. Suddenly this immortal demigod just walks in a fucking black morph suit covered in like fucking instant noodles glued to it and a cone of shame.

Said demigod dramatically fucking announces that he didn’t get the job at a fast food chain. And decides to lay himself out as a human sacrifice to be consumed with warm noodles included.

There’s also a bit where Eric shows up to a McDonald’s as Ronald McDonald and pretends to fire people.

So just Garmadon showing up as Chen and doing the sketch.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ih7TTjlywbQ

Skylor loves the Chen’s noodle house jokes just because it pisses off her dad and it’s good press.

Skylor inevitably gets interviewed by Garmadon too.

Because Garmadon dying in this au would be sad.

Sorry this took awhile, I needed time to look up the clips you linked.

Skylor gets handed a (cooked) noodle crown during the interview. (since she is....the noodle princess) which she doesn't even hesitate to put on.

Garmadon keeps saying that he's sponsored by Chen's Noodle House. He's gotten sued over it twice, but he just keeps paying the suit and doing it more.

Cliff Gordon is interviewed. Garmadon spends the entire time talking over him. It starts as plausible interruptions or not realizing that he was talking, but gets more and more aggressive as it goes on. Cliff didn't actually managed to get out one single complete sentence.

Lloyd gets interviewed, and they just trash the set for the whole time. Making some small talk, but otherwise not talking.

Each of the ninja have done an interview actually. (Theirs were scripted, unlike the other guest stars.)

Zane's was just silence for the rest for the episode after he was introduced. Him and Garmadon nod a few times, and Zane shakes his head once. Neither move from their seats.

Cole and Garmadon take turns eating the crazier and crazier things while conducting an otherwise normal interview. Starting with Cole bringing a sandwich and Garmadon eating his mug. Ending with Garmadon eating Dareth.

Kai's is 95% a normal interview, but it ramps up very quickly at the end to them talking themselves into "joint suicide" with a stupid amount of fake blood.

Nya lights the set on fire after being ask to demonstrate her elemental water powers.

There are increasingly large and intrusive animals being released through out Jay's. Starting with a bee, ending with a dragon.

Pixal didn't show. She didn't warn Garmadon that she wasn't going to show. It was a real live reaction to him realizing she stood him up. (And him admitting she really understood the chaotic nature of the show.)

The ninja had to be called in to deal with the "live bear".

-Ivy

[angels-heap]

Is it bad that i find Freemance (Gordon and Alyx) kind of squicky? I don't know, I really used to like it and the possible romantic relationship between them is super cute! But the fact that Alyx was a child when she knew him, and that Eli makes the weird comments about them when he has known Gordon for so long and that his DAUGHTER. It just really doesn't sit right with me anymore. I wouldn't want any of my friends to date my daughter if i had one! But i don't know anymore :-(

I’ve answered this question a few times before (sometimes more politely than others), but I’ll bite one more time, since your message sounds genuine and I hate to see people stressing out over this. 

In short, no, it’s not “bad” to find something squicky. That’s the beauty of the term; sometimes you just don’t vibe with something and “squick” is a great way to express that without needing to justify why you don’t like the thing. There are HL pairings I find squicky that aren’t necessarily objectively bad. Nobody’s saying you have to love freemance to be a HL fan.

That said, though, I can tell you’re feeling conflicted about this and I’m hoping I can help by clearing up some common misconceptions about the ship:

1. There’s nothing in canon that says Gordon knew Alyx when she was a child. What little information we do have actually suggests he didn’t. We know he worked with her father in some capacity, but given how dangerous and secure Black Mesa was, I highly doubt Eli was bringing his 4 year old to work regularly. Also, Alyx canonically doesn’t know much about Gordon in either HL2 or HLA, which strongly implies that if they ever did meet pre-canon, it was brief and not at all memorable. Anyone who claims that Gordon and Alyx were close pre-canon or had some sort of uncle/niece relationship is either confused or lying because nothing in the games supports that conclusion. 

2. Yeah, Eli’s jokes are a little cringey at times (and it appears Alyx would agree with that assessment, which is clearly intended to be humorous on Valve’s part), but I don’t think that’s an argument to sink the ship. Eli was probably at least a decade older than Gordon when they worked together at Black Mesa. Presumably, they didn’t work together for terribly long, considering how young Gordon is; HL1 was originally meant to take place on Gordon’s first day of work, but that was retconned to an unspecified earlier date to explain why he knows these people in HL2. Regardless, now Eli’s 20 years older than that with a daughter who’s around Gordon’s age. It’s not like Eli’s trying to set Alyx up with a same-age colleague; actually, Gordon arguably has more in common with Alyx than he does with Eli at this point. Also, it’s not unheard of in the real world for parents to try to set their kids up with respectable acquaintances and yes, even co-workers. Valve wouldn’t have written that in if it was socially unacceptable. 

3. We know Eli knows about the G-man and his relationship to Gordon and he also comments on the fact that Gordon doesn’t seem to have aged. He definitely knows (or at least strongly suspects) that Gordon’s still 27, which makes him a perfectly acceptable potential partner for his 24 year old daughter. Regardless of when Gordon was technically born, he’s still physically and developmentally in his 20s. He and Alyx have a similar amount of lived experience and complementary skillsets.

4. Eli, Barney, and other random NPCs don’t start teasing Alyx and Gordon about possibly being interested in each other until they’ve been working together for a while. Regardless of whether or not Gordon/you (as the player) reciprocates, it’s quite clear in the games that Alyx is developing a thing for Gordon as the story progresses, so it’s not like this is a case of creepy meddling friends/relatives (or game developers) trying to force a weird relationship on unwilling participants. 

5. This is a dynamic that could never happen in real life that neither party had control over, which means there’s nothing predatory going on here. Time travel/stasis is also a very common trope in sci-fi media. Everyone in HL2 has been through a lot and seen some shit. Alyx getting together with a 20-something year old dude who got yoinked out of time for two decades probably doesn’t even crack the top 10 for “unexpected shit that’s happened since Black Mesa” at this point. The characters clearly love and respect each other and we have every reason to believe everyone’s intentions in encouraging this relationship are pure. 

If freemance still doesn’t appeal to you, that’s totally fine! I’m not expecting to convince you to love it and that’s not a prerequisite to participate in the fandom, but I hope this helped counter some of the misinformation you may have heard elsewhere. As always, I’m happy to discuss this further in other asks or DMs if you still have questions! 

[seiyasabi]

Baby 2

(Here’s part two of my story ‘Baby’! I really hope this lives up to your expectations lol, bc I rewrote this, like, five times （；^ω^）anyways, TW; mommy kink, Enji is lowkey a little??? (Sorry if I got that wrong, I’m not in that community), breast sucking (oof), unhealthy behaviour, mentioned kidnapping, etc.. This is kinda short, so I’m sorry about that. Besides that, I hope this isn’t too awful to read.)

You’re making Miso Soup, per Enji’s request. It wasn’t that hard, all you needed to do was boil water and add the soup mix. Yet, the feeling of the intimidating man’s gaze on your back made you feel like Gordon Ramsey himself wasn’t judging you. Swallowing harshly, you continued to stir as nonchalantly as possible. 

“Is there anything else you want, Enji? It’s not too late for me to make meat-“ bulky arms wrapped around your waist, and a heavy head laid on the top of your spine. If an outsider saw this, they’d think his embrace was sweet. He was massive compared to you, completely covering your form, yet the childish whine that left his lips was anything but manly. 

“I don’t want meat, can’t I just eat rice and soup?” His whiny child voice was disturbing, and you’ll never be able to not cringe at it. 

“You-you can’t just have soup and rice, you need protein too. That way, you’ll stay healthy.” The night Enji brought you home, he made it clear that he wants you to treat him like a child, so you do your best to do so. So far, you haven’t slipped up, but you knew that he’d punish you if you made him unhappy. His arms tightened around you, signaling that he wanted you to scold him some more, “I-If you don’t stay healthy, then you’ll start to lose muscle. You can’t protect me if you're scrawny, can you?” He let out a bratty ‘humph,’ before letting you go. 

“Can you make steak?” You turned to look up at him, an eyebrow raised. 

“Hmm, I don’t know, can I?” He huffed again, and yoinked you into his buff arms. He hugs you securely, his head resting on your chest. You slightly hesitated, before placing a hand in his hair. 

“Can you pleaseeeee make steak?” You let out an awkward laugh. Whenever he elongates his words, he buries his face further into your chest. 

“Of course, now, can you please set the table for me? I’d appreciate your help.” Without missing a beat, you pat his head, and gently nudge him off of you. Once Enji stands at his full height, you wave him towards the dining room, “Go ahead, buddy. I know you can do it.” A happy look crosses his face, and he sets off to do his task. 

Once he’s gone, you breathe a sigh of relief. His presence is suffocating, even when he’s playing the part of a child. 

-

After a somewhat tense dinner, it was time for bed. But, that called for bath time beforehand. Which, just so happened to be your least favourite time of the day. 

“Come on, Enji, it’s time for a bath.” He shook his head, eyes still glued to the television in the living room. 

“No, I don’t wanna.” You frown in annoyance. 

“Please? I don’t want to punish you-” Enji quickly stood up, and grabbed your hand, allowing you to lead him to your ensuite bathroom. Once inside the spacious room, you help him strip. 

You start to run the water, and once it’s nice and warm, you help the large man into the tub. From another person’s perspective, the scene would be quite comedic, but to you, it was dreadful. He’s a grown man, not a child! He shouldn’t need your help to bathe, eat, sleep, etc., yet, here you are. 

Enji claimed to need your help washing every part of him, even his… unsavoury places. So, you swallowed your pride each night, and touched him more than you wanted to. 

Using the unattached shower head, you sprayed off the soapy suds, and hummed a random song (more to comfort yourself, than him). After he was completely clean, you dried him off, and helped him brush his teeth. Enji seemed quite content with his cleanliness, so he allowed you to tuck him into your shared bed. You place a chaste kiss on his forehead, but before you can move away, he grabs you, and holds you to his built chest. 

“Wha-what are you doing-?”

“Stay with me! I don’t want to be alone.” This wasn’t the first time he pulled something like this, but it still didn’t fail to make you uncomfortable. 

“Enji, darling, I need to clean the kitchen and prepare for bed. I promise I’ll come back-”

“No!” You try to move off of him, but he holds you tighter. Your ribs clack together, making a yelp of pain leave your lips. 

“Ow, you’re hurting me! Please let go!” He shakes his head rapidly, his large hand pulling your head back, giving him access to your neck. 

“You haven’t been a good mommy, (Y/n).” Your breathing becomes rapid, eyes widening in fear. Placing your hands on his chest, you start to apologise profusely. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! What can I do to make it up to you?” Enji never accepts apologies outright. You must offer something to him to ‘show’ that you’re truly remorseful, or else he’d teach you a lesson. Most times, that ended with you being burned, but sometimes, it’d escalate to full on beatings. His hand on your chest forced you out of your stupor, effectively scaring you. 

“Relax. If you let me do what I want, I’ll forgive you.” Tears pricked your eyes, but you nodded. It’s easier to give in, afterall. Without missing a beat, the collar of your frock was forced underneath your (size) breasts, his eyes flashing with excitement. 

Enji’s thin lips wrapped around your right nipple, his head cradled lightly in your right elbow. He sucked softly, a wanton moan vibrating in his throat. For some reason, this seemed to calm him,  because his eyes closed in content. The red haired man completely relaxed against you, making you bare the brunt of his weight. 

This went on until he grew tired of your right breast, and switched to your left. The process continued until he fell asleep. 

Once you were sure that he was out for the count, you unattach yourself from the large man. You settle him down on the mattress, and tuck him in again. After that, you fix your shirt, and set off to clean the kitchen. 

While washing the dishes, you break down into tears. The stress and humiliation finally hit you like a ton of bricks, and you sobbed into the soapy water. 

This was going to be your life, and there was nothing you could do about it. 

[f4nd0m-fun]

Oh I love that.

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Actually my initial idea was never that the infinite realms was the monster dimension but rather that it was maybe 2° separate from it, there's a similarity there but if you document it well enough you can find the differences. I do enjoy this idea tho, and it could be combined sorta. Essentially, you've got the living monsters that no one is entirely sure where they come from, and then the much stronger monsters that used to be blocked by the gates being closed. The regular monsters can be tamed, at least some, and, occasionally, if they die in battle they'll keep fighting for their tamer. To the people of this world, this isn't considered a face of death, not for a while, they just assume it's some form of evolution. They are, of course, wrong.

Also this was thrown in by @radiance1

(Poor Danny, he just wants a break, and Constantine still isn't sure how this happened)

So Bruce's liminal ability would be Shadow, and Dick's would probably be wind. And he's a contortionist, he's just gonna get worse about it over time.

Jason, I wanna get all Shakespeare dramatic with him. Joker is a Ghost who goes drum host to host if he's ever killed, and absorbing the soul of the original host makes him stronger, but traps him until the body dies, hence why it's not smart to kill him. He still killed Jason in this but, at usual, Jason managed to possess his own corpse. Talia stole him away because he was gonna rot and the League is full of liminal. Anyway, Jason's head was hidden by the joker instead of being found by his family but Talia located it an used it to find him. Because of how long he was separated from his head, if he's feeling the pit rage he can just yoink off his head and annoy it with Hamlet or something until it calms down (I dunno, I just woke up a bit ago). This also fits with the duffel head bag, except probably not a duffel this time. Jason probably has some form of pain immunity or maybe some minor psychic abilities entirely linked to piloting his body when detached. (I imagine the family tries not to have a heart attack the first time they see this). And Jason? He misses when the shadows called him home, when he could grasp them nearly as well as Bruce, but it seems sacrifices have been made and now he can barely feel them.

Also, the way I write things, Meta Powers are just Oddly Specific Magic essentially. They're not necessarily as strong as some spells but they're stronger than the basic ones but they're also usually fairly specific and you don't get much of a choice.

I just had the sad idea that the League essentially 'breeds' for stealth abilities in liminals and Bruce, with his natural affinity for shadows, was an important piece of the puzzle that got away, and thus Damien was created, grown in an ecto womb, born quite liminal, and more likely to become a Halfa than a Ghost for his first death.

Also, I toyed with the idea that DP is pretty much DC flipped on its head. Danny is Damien, Jazz might be Barbera with Jack as Gordon, Maddie as Talia and Vlad as Bruce, Sam is Cass and Tucker is Duke, or you could have Val and Tuck as the Hawk pair. And it'd be funny if Wes was the Flash as Barry.

I am also running with Prince Danny, and I like the idea that redeemed!Vlad is his regent or something, and that's half of why Vlad thinks Danny has accepted being his son (he hasn't but oh well).

And if we want to make the chaos even worse, throw in another AU of mine, in which Alfred is Clockwork, Thomas was Pariah and went crazy after his death (Alfred sent him back in time to try and fix things but it didn't work), and Martha refused to leave her family so she was sent back as a guardian for them and starts collecting curses (they seem bad now but they'd be worse on the mortals) and then Parish gets let out, whole thing happens, and then Clockwork takes him for some community service or something. Or he's still King but Vlad is like supposed to make decisions with/for Danny if Pariah isn't there. This works well with Bruce's shadows because a lot of people HC Pariah as the ancient of Darkness. It's also hilarious because, in the world where this powerful king sired a prince, that Prince stayed mostly mortal but, in the world where he allowed a mortal to host the soul, they became a halfa.

Anyway, I guess in this case, succession is Bruce-Vlad-Danny? Or maybe Danny goes first because of the fight?

Ooooo what if the JL's world is still stuck in the past of Pariah, Alfred thought he was sealed but instead there's a minor time loop going on, and, because he awakened in the other world, that's why the gates were getting so close, because he's no longer asleep for most of the year?

Cue Clockwork sending Danny to fix things and beat this version of Pariah, but also sending the whole family along because this was Pariah in his glory days.

Imagine the horror Bruce might feel upon learning about his father's fate, at least the fact that he'd been the one warring on the world, pretty much entirely because his death caused the ring and crown to take over since he no longer had a human half, and Danny's Win wrestling the ring and crown away from him, allowing his mind to be free again. Imagine Loop!Pariah and Redeem!Pariah meeting each other.

The thing is, if Thomas had Survived, Pariah wouldn't have been Born, but, as seen in that Flaspoint(?) movie with Martha as Joker, without her being Lady Gotham, the curses are free to latch on, and who is a bigger curse but the one that always got away - Joker? And Thomas may not have lost his humanity, but he did lose his hope.

Alfred only rarely uses his abilities, he was meant to be a watcher, until he fell in love with his king and his mortal partner, until Thomas and Martha had a son, had two, against odds.

And, in a world in which abilities are more common and liminals are not rare, these traits from Thomas, and even a little bit from Alfred, prove themselves more visibly. Thomas and Martha may have given the DNA but ectoplasm tends to seep off of entities, especially stronger ones, and Alfred raised Bruce from 10. I wouldn't be surprised if Bruce is slightly faster than the average human or if, like a post I recently saw, he has so many contingencies because he can randomly see the future without controlling the view. When Alfred finds out, he brings Bruce a mirror, Bruce isn't at why until he realizes he's not having visions anymore except the really dire ones, and soon realizes that the mirror is acting as... something, he isn't sure what. (It doesn't stop his ingrained paranoia, and sometimes he'll stare at the mirror for hours, when that happens Alfred intervenes).

Imagine if Clark isn't just an alien but is also from another dimension. The idea that the phantom zone is part of the realms, and the fact that Kara rode through them, why couldn't Kal? And that's how he ended up on this world. Most of the time he wouldn't have to worry, but this world is soaked in magic, even if most people can't use more than a tiny spark of it, or have very specific abilities about it. Or, maybe, by growing up around it, he became more resistant to it, but also weaker. He's still a heavy hitter, he's still weak to magic, but it's not as bad as it could be.

Diana is still clay-born and god-blessed of course, tho I wonder how she'd react to Bruce sorta being her uncle through Chronos. Or imagine when she first meets Alfred, at least the first time she recognizes the power flowing through him, and remembers the stories of him and his children.

Anyway, Bruce vs Vlad, Vlad is probably winning but if he gets distracted Bruce might be able to sneak off win the help of the shadows.

I do find it funny that Vlad has a Plasma/Sun core, essentially light and warmth, but Bruce is gonna be shadows, they're the same soul at core, but went through such different things.

Maybe Jason as a fire core and, if you look closely enough, his head and neck are attached by a thin stream of smoke.

I do wonder though if any of the army members might recognize Bruce's soul, if not though Thomas' past than perhaps though Vlad's existence. Maybe Constantine notices as well.

I dunno, there's so many ways to take this.

So in a lot of these monster hunting fantasy webcomics, you have these things called monster cores. Imagine, if you will, an AU where the Justice League has always been in a world like this. Maybe an alternate earth, maybe the aliens are from different planes instead of planets, maybe you've got magic as the primary force and yet there's some who still manage to stick almost entirely to tech/magitech (like Bruce). These cores are essentially batteries, and the more powerful the monster the more energy you can draw. Also, I love the idea that, if you put it together right, you can technically recharge it.

Enter, the Phamily. Either they are from this world and the Fentons are monster hunters trying to find the origin place of the monsters, or this isn't their original world and they're trying to open a portal home.

Danny, Ellie, Dan, and Vlad if he's there, have cores. These can be considered batteries just looking at the way ectoplasm is used (imagine how much more potent the cores would be than the globs). Jazz, the parents, and Danny's friends if they're there too are liminal. This could mean that magic considers them part monster despite no cores, or maybe they're considered akin to warlocks or sorcerers, looked down upon but not actively hunted or something. Although the presence of the half monster kids and what seems to be a half monster dad... (yes this is probably a family breakfast ship, sue me if you dare) well, Vlad is gonna be determined to fight off the rumors with whatever he's got, there's no need for his darling Maddie to get worked up about idiots, aside from him and Jack of course. (I also love Vlad x Connie so this could either be Vlad is just an uncle or we get Connie in and call it Family Party or something - Party cause alcohol?)

Also not entirely sure on how I'm writing Bruce and Dick here, I want them to be able to access magic in some way, but sensing magic might be more of an Oracle/Barbara thing, I'm not sure, but also they can't do anything big or flashy with it, it's more tiny stuff which is why they rely on magitech. Also the idea that even if people can sense magic, usually they ignore changes aside from moving away from it if necessary cause usually it means a bunch of monsters are coming through a breach. Honestly, not sure how to run this but, eh.

The below segment is written with Native!JL and Isekai!DP in mind.

=====||=====||=====||======||=====||=====||=====

Bruce had been tinkering with his latest animaga, a monster core whose energy had been threaded through one if his favorite inventions, intended to allow him and his ward flight with the use of monster wings.

"B!"

He tensed but refuses to startle as his ward all but jumped on top of him. "Yes Dick?"

"The magic feels weird!"

Bruce paused, setting his tools down. He knew as a half elf, Richard was sensitive to magic, but wasn't nearly as strong with it as most full elves.

Of course, Bruce had always been considered... disabled in that regard, a full elf who could only feel the energy close to him, though it wasn't public knowledge that he knew of. "That's good to know, Chum, why don't you meditate on it and I'll investigate tonight?"

His ward seemed to understand the intent to leave him behind and started to protest.

"Chum, I was going out alone before you showed up, if the magic really has changed, it'll be safer for me to go out and use the radar."

Dick whined but didn't protest again.

Bruce hoped he wouldn't sneak out this time.

As night began to fall, a family of 9 was gutting a strange metallic ship. Well, the three elder ones were, while the younger ones worked together to scout out the area.

Bruce had just arrived to the location, but chose not to interfere just yet. Batman was the embodiment of night to many, a fearsome predator to others, and some even thought he was a monster himself. Reconnaissance was his strength, as was stealth.

"I don't know, Jazz, the energy here is weird. Muggy almost." His form gave off a soft glow, not unlike that of the whisps, though much larger in body.

The girl with red hair, Jazz he presumed, did not appear impressed. "Like you're the expert on energy. Maybe you should ask Sam when we get back to Mom and dad."

"And Vlad."

"Don't remind me."

The glowing one shuddered. "I know him and our parents have been buddy buddy again but why did he take you find along?"

"Because you're still in training, Daniel."

Both children shrieked.

"I see your core has accepted me into your Fraid."

Bruce froze a bit. Core? Thier energy was certainly strange but not entirely monstrous, hence his inactivity, but the presence of a core presented issues.

"Whatever, Fruitloop. Go back to camp."

"I don't think I will, you're being watched and I can't have my son or daughter being in harm's way."

"Give it a rest, Frootloop, we're not your kids." Despite their attitude, something about their reaction and stance suggested they were worried about being watched as well.

Bruce wondered how they knew about him, perhaps he should have asked Lucius for help with a dampening field to hide the energy of the animaga?

"Don't bother flying away, you'll be surrounded before you can think." Vlad placed a hand on Danny's shoulder.

Before Bruce could react, there was a flash of light that all but burned onto his retinas, but the light was all wrong, a deep black instead of a glowing hue. By the time he was back to his senses, Vlad was gone, and in his place was another strange Whisp. Batman didn't have to turn around to find there were identical ones behind him. Clearly, this was an opponent not to be underestimated.

[selene-tempest]

It’s our Kayo’s birthday, and to celebrate I dragged her up to Five to participate in another Live From Five.

Selene: Aahhh, we're back! Look at this! John, look, look how long it's been since we last broadcast. 

John: Why break the streak now, I'm sure we can go another few months… 

S: Hush your mouth, we've got a job to do. The world is still chaotic, Gordon still hasn't found the source of that smell in the hangars that he swears wasn't to do with him but is starting to permeate the house, and it's just nice to get away from it all for a bit. Go on, admit it. 

J: I admit nothing, we could have just hung out up here, watched some movies, eaten some snacks, took some time to properly relax, all alone…think about it. 

S: That…is very tempting, do we still have that bottle of mass-

Kayo: *loudly clears her throat* 

S: Oh, sorry, forgot you were here for a second, you're like a ninja cat that had its bell taken away. 

K: I'm not sure how to respond to that. 

J: She means you're quiet and that she's sorry that she started to bring up the Knotty But Nice blackcurrant-

S: I think that's enough explanation, babe. 

K: *grins evilly settling herself more comfortably in her chair* I don't know, I think I need to know more about this. 

S: No, you really don't. 

K: But I might be wanting to purchase some for myself. 

J: I think I still have the link somewhere…*pulls out his phone*

S: *covers his screen with her hand* Can we just get on with this, please? 

J: *smiles innocently* What's the rush? Normally you like to chat for hours and tell me off for trying to hurry things along. 

S: Because your idea of hurrying things along is to skip the questions entirely. 

J: A foolproof method, I've found. 

S: *gives him a squinty eyed warning look and turns back to the camera lense of EOS and its slowly blinking light* Hello, and welcome back to Live From Five, the monthly-

J: Sometimes. 

S:- the sometimes monthly, but more at random times, podcast where I force my darling husband to sit down with me and talk to you all about the goings on of International Rescue and the other organisations that help keep the world safe. 

J: When the world hasn't slowed down because of a pandemic that is. 

S: Ordinarily, yes. But now is the time when we should all do our bit to make life a little more bearable and so we have another of the team ready and willing to answer your most burning questions. 

K: I wouldn't say willing exactly. 

J: You'll soon learn that resistance is futile, she's like a steamroller-

S: Excuse me, sir! 

J: A pretty steamroller. 

S: That's better. 

K: I love how she didn't even try to deny it. 

S: *shrugs*

J: She can't argue the truth and we made vows never to lie to each other. 

K: So you finally told her that you don't like those new tie-dye leggings of hers? The ones you said made her butt look like a Rorschach test? 

S: EXCUSE ME, SIR!! You said they looked good with that black shirt I stole off Scott! 

J: The shirt hides your butt. 

S: First my beloved T-shirt, now my leggings? Is there anything in my wardrobe that you actually like? Or should I throw it all away and just go about naked? Would that please you? *throws hands up in frustration*

J: *quirks an eyebrow*

S: *scowls at him* We’re done with this conversation.

J: *scowls at Kayo* You just had to go there. 

K: What? You said you never lie to her. I was only asking. 

J: What's the first question the viewers sent in? *scrolls frantically on his tablet* Paul asks if your name is short for Knockout. 

K: Yes, it is. 

S: *still scowling, has now advanced to sulkily crossed arms too*

J: Care to elaborate a bit so she doesn't smack me? 

K: Elaborate how? 

J: Maybe how you got the name?

K: *sighs* I was ten years old, so was Gordon, there was a sparring match, his face got in the way of my fist. 

J: You aimed at it. 

K: He was supposed to duck and deflect it, that was the point of training and sparring. 

S: Is that why he can only breathe out of one nostril? 

K: Yes. 

J: Kath asks, how does it feel to be a strong female role model? 

K: I don't really see myself that way, at least I never intended to be one. But, I suppose that if young people want someone to look up to I'm glad that I can show them the truth about a few things and hopefully inspire them to try things for themselves. 

J: Such as? 

K: I'm proof that you don't have to be the biggest or the strongest on the team to make a difference. I might not be as actively involved in rescues like the rest of you are but I have my area of expertise and that's just as good. People shouldn't try to be someone they aren't or to match up to others, being yourself is just as good. You can be strong and successful without compromising who you really are. You don't have to compete with the rest of the world, as long as you can honestly say you're doing your best. We all have different skills and different weaknesses, none are more important than the other. Life shouldn't be a competition, it should be about being the best person you can be. Sure you're going to mess up sometimes but that's how you learn and grow. Oh, and that girls are just as good as boys. 

*S & J just staring at her*

K: What? I can be deep. I do have some insightful things to say now and then, you know. 

S: Oh, we know, we never doubted that. 

J: We just doubted you'd ever actually say them. 

S: *swats at him with the back of her hand*

J: Hey! No hitting. 

K: Are there any more questions or can I make a break for it in the space elevator? 

S: Of course there are more. *steals his tablet off his lap* Yoink. Next question. Isabelle asks if your training includes other sports or activities other than martial arts?

K: Yes.

S: *gives her a look that says she’s trying her patience*

K: *rolls her eyes* I was not told that this interview process would be so intrusive, I’m head of security and this is not very secretive.

S: It’s a question about your training, how can that be a bad thing?

K: Is that another question on the list?

S: Don’t get cute, just answer the training one.

K: I used to be on a Parkour team at university, I found that I had a natural affinity for it and I still practice it now and then, just basic wall and rooftop runs, that sort of thing. I also do some weight and strength training, like pull-ups and planks on objects, you never know what you might run into in the field and we should always be prepared. 

J: Natural affinity for it. I think you’re forgetting one thing you used to do that you haven’t mentioned…

K: *narrows her eyes dangerously at him* Don’t you dare.

S: What? What am I missing? Share with the class.

K: *huffs, admitting defeat* I used to do gymnastics when I was younger, lots of tumbling and balance work mostly, which yes *glares a pointed look at John* did contribute to my affinity to Parkour.

J: *smiles evilly* There were ribbons involved-

K: *lunges for him*

J: *drags wife onto his lap to use as a human shield* and twirling!

S: *attempts a very crap version of defensive karate hands* I can wax on and wax off, don’t make me use it. *demonstrates, protecting her man even though he is an ass who is laughing behind the safety of her back*

K: You have to sleep some time, Tracy.

J: I’m protected then too. *peeks over her shoulder to look at Kayo, very tempted to stick out his tongue* What’s the next question, love?

K: I don’t think I want to answer anymore. *crosses her arms defiantly*

S: *continues regardless* Emma asks what is it like living with Five Tracy brothers and who is the biggest pain in the butt?

K: John.

J: Hey!

S: Come on, you don’t mean that. No way is he more annoying and hard to live with than Gordon or Scott. No way in hell.

J: Thanks for the support.

S: You all have your moments, I’m not gonna lie. *pats his hand* Come on, Kay, just give me a decent answer, please. Show these boys how it’s really done, they have just been complete nightmares and we might have Brains next.

J: Wait, we what?

S: Have Brains next, by popular demand. It’ll be fine.

J: Have you met Brains?

S: *deadpans* On a number of occasions, yes. 

J: So you know that he likes the spotlight even less than I do, preferring to hide away in his lab and never see the light of day?

S: You make him sound like Victor Frankenstein. Which would definitely make the place more interesting.

K: *sits quietly looking smug, they have once again forgotten her*

J: I’m not even going to dignify that with an answer. Kayo, what’s it like living with us all?

K: Well, that peace lasted a long time. *straightens from her slouch* It’s noisy, chaotic, and sometimes a little overwhelming.

J: *nods along, and they wonder why he spends so much time in space*

K: You can’t keep anything to yourself. Food, drinks, snacks, magazines, toiletries, everything is up for grabs as far as they are concerned. 

S: Truth. But they do have some good points. 

K: Yes, while it’s sometimes annoying, it’s not all that bad. When you’re having a bad day there is always someone there to talk to if you’re so inclined. You’re never alone and while that’s not always a positive thing, it means that there is always someone there for you when you need them most, you never feel lonely. I know that, whatever happens, there is someone there that has my back.

S: And who is the most annoying?

K: Scott, closely followed by Gordon.

J: Why Scott?

K: Because he’s too up in my business. He always wants to know where I am and what I’m doing.

S: That’s because he cares.

J: I always know where you are too.

K: But you don’t ask me about it and I don’t tell you, we’ve got an understanding. Scott also knows almost all of my snack hiding places and raids them when he’s annoyed with me, which is often. I have nothing left but a couple of Japanese kit-kat bars left, and only because he doesn't like Lychee flavour.

S: Sounds reasonable. He does that to me too, I think he’s just looking for any excuse to eat our snacks.

J: Why do you think I keep all mine up here?

S: Because you’re a genius?

J: Yes.

S: Ready for another question?

K: Do I have a choice?

S: Well, yeah, I mean, you can always say no or refuse to answer one.

J: We’ll let you have one veto.

K: That’s appreciated. Fine, continue.

J: *eyes scan the list* Let's keep it simple, Lauren asks where your dad is?

K: He’s at home *shrugs* He said he was fed up with constantly being on guard and suspicious all the time and that it wasn’t doing his blood pressure any good. So, he retired, moving permanently to his childhood family home so that he could concentrate on his first loves of gardening and cooking. The boys despaired the day he left and they realised they only had Grandma’s cooking to come home to.

S: That brings us nicely to one of Rebecca’s questions. She says, and I quote ‘Spill the beans, is Grandma’s cooking really that bad’?

J & K together: Yes.

S: Elaborate please.

J: * Looks nervously at the camera, he knew from experience (so did Scott) that Grandma had ears like a bat when her culinary skills were being disparaged* 

K: *cares not if she gets caught, continues confidently* She is easily distracted, so loses track of her timings and often tries to compensate. Like if she forgets to put the food in she’ll turn up the heat as far as it will go and cook it for a shorter time. Which leads to it being burnt on the outside and raw on the inside. But sometimes she does it the other way around, where she puts it in too soon and it starts to burn so she turns it off and it goes cold, so it's burnt and cold. 

J: *watches impasively as one would a stupid person about to make a very big mistake, like touch a hot plate without oven mitts* 

K: She loves spices too, hates bland food and thinks that everything needs to be full of flavour. But she’s not too concerned by the amounts the recipe, if she even uses one, calls for. Much like with heat, she thinks more is preferable. Recipes are not something she’s good at following, she tends to just scan it and trust she’ll remember it when she really won’t. 

J: Overconfidence is a family trait.

S: At least she tries, it’s how she shows her love.

K: I’d prefer she showed it with take out, but OK.

S: Sounding a little ungrateful there, Kay.

K: You haven’t lived with it for as long as we have.

S: Next question, before we accidentally start an Island kitchen revolution. Robyn asks ‘ before you got your own ship, who gave you the most rides or how did you get about’?

K: Probably Alan, I tended to have to go along to babysit him a lot at first and I’d make him drop me off on the way home. That or Scott, I couldn’t handle too much of Virgil’s flying.

S: She also asks who was the best pilot from a passenger's perspective.

K: For skill level, probably Alan, but in general, Scott. Alan is technically brilliant, as is Scott, but Alan was under far more restrictions, whereas Scott had less and is more to my tastes.

J: You mean he’s as reckless a pilot as you are and you kept complaining that Virgil was too slow and was boring to ride with.

K: He was and still is. His craft is far too slow, nowhere near as slow as Four, which feels like it’s crawling, but still slow, and he drives like an old lady. Actually, scratch that, Grandma drives faster.

S: Well then, I mean, I’d actually prefer to ride with Virg but...

K: Is that all?

S: *shakes her head and nudges John*

J: *checks the list* Rebecca also asked how you unwind after a tough mission.

K: How does any woman unwind? I quite enjoy a hot bath and a magazine, maybe watching a few shows in bed after. I also like to listen to some soothing music and eat some ice cream.

*S & J look blankly at her*

K: What?

J: *clears his throat* Nothing.

K: *glares at them* 

S: *shifts uncomfortably* We just...we just thought that you would do something a little less…

K: Girly? I am a woman you know.

S: I was going to go with depressed dumpee in a Rom Com, but OK.

J: *snorts out a laugh, then immediately stops when Kayo shoots a warning glare at him*

K: I didn’t have to come here, you know, especially not to be insulted.

S: You’re right, I’m sorry.

J: That was totally my bad *holds his hands up in surrender*

K: *eyes flick to the tablet and she waves a hand to indicate for them to continue*

S: Isabelle wants to know if there is anything you wish you had more time to do or something you want to learn?

K: *thinks about it for a moment or two* That’s actually not a bad question. I wish I had more time to travel.

S: You go all over the world.

K: I know, but that’s for business, not for pleasure. I never get to sight see or experience any of the culture. I’d like to visit some of the places that are significant to my family history, the land of my ancestors, just like Father did when he was younger. I’d like to know more about my roots. As for something I want to learn *pauses to think some more* cooking. *Nods firmly*

S: Cooking?

K: Yes, cooking. Father is a good cook and I’d like to have the time to spend with him and learn some of his favourite traditional dishes, like he used to make when I was a little girl. Family recipes always have little tweaks that you don’t find online or in recipe books, every family is different and they often aren’t written down, I’d like to learn some of them.

J: I’m sure we’d all love for you to learn too, so we could eat them, just to test them for you, obviously.

K: Obviously.

J: You know, to be helpful.

K: Of course.

S: *side whispers* She doesn’t sound like she believes you, babe.

J: *side whispers back* She never does.

K: I can hear you, you know.

S: Two questions left! 

K: Good.

J: Does that mean you won’t be allowing a quick fire round?

K: Whose questions are they?

S: Mine, one minute on the clock, one word answers, you say the first thing that comes into your head.

K: I’ll think about it. 

S: OK then. *checks the list* Steeve asks who spends the longest in the bathroom getting rescue ready?

K: Virgil.

*S & J stay silent* 

K: He’ll say it’s not him, he’ll point the finger at Scott, but we all know the truth.

S: *nods sagely*

K: Scott likes his hair super shiny, but Virgil likes his super high. So he will be there blow drying for up to an hour. 

J: *nods* I watched him once. Brush it out, product, lift it up, blow dry, more product, blow dry, more product, blow dry again, smooth the outside, more product, final blow dry then pat it into place. I got bored just watching him.

K: Says the man who’s got hair like that. *points at John’s front curl*

J: Hey! This is mostly natural. All I use is a little gravity paste to hold it in place so it doesn’t flop about everywhere. I’m enhancing the style, not creating a whole new one.

K: *grins triumphantly that she managed to get him to defend his hair*

S: Your hair is perfect, my love.

J: *self consciously smooths his hair, realises what he’s doing and stops, looking annoyed at himself* What’s the last question? *yanks the tablet closer, scans the list, then freezes* 

K: Well, get on with it.

J: *swallows* I really don’t think we need to do any more, do we? *turns the screen off*

S: What do you mean? We can’t just not read out a question that someone took the time to send in…* takes the tablet* oh.

K: *rolls her eyes* Just read it out.

S: *slides a side eye glance at John who shrugs back, then nudges her to continue* Steven asks who do you secretly have a crush on?

K: *one eyebrow lifts* 

J: You can use your veto for this.

K: No, I can answer. There might be someone that doesn’t annoy me as much as everyone else in the world does. He’s good at his job, he’s handsome and we get on very well, we have things in common and we are comfortable enough to tease each other and enjoy a friendship that has the potential to be more but that we’re happy with either way. *shrugs* That’s all I’m going to say.

S: That could literally be anyone.

K: Yep *buffs her nails on her top and stretches a hand out to examine them*

S: Well, that was somewhat enlightening. I think the listeners have definitely gotten to know you a little better.

K: Then I have to kill them.

S: Ya wha?

K: I’m joking.

S: I knew that.

J: Did you really, though? 

S: I had high hopes she was joking, OK?

K: Is that it? Can I go now?

J: Unless you’ve decided if you want to answer her quick fire questions.

K: *sighs* She’s going to pout at me if I don’t, isn’t she? 

J: Highly likely, but I didn’t think that sort of thing affected you.

K: I can get annoyed as much as the next person.

S: *mutters under her breath* Sometimes more.

K: Fine, ask your silly questions.

S: *grins and sits up straighter* OK, remember the rules, say the first thing that pops into your head, one word answers, feel free to say skip. Babe, time me.

J: *sets a timer* And...go.

S: Favourite colour?

K: Black. 

S: On a scale of one to ten how good are you at keeping secrets?

K: Eleven. 

S: Do you snore?

K: No. 

J: *snorts out a laugh* Forty seconds

S: Texting or Talking?

K: Texting. 

S: Nickname your parents used to call you? 

K: Tin-Tin. 

J: Twenty seconds.

S: If you could travel back in time, what time period would you go to?

K: World War Two. 

J: Ten seconds.

S: If you were an ice cream flavour what would you be?

K: Chilli Chocolate.

S: Are rats cu-

J:Time

S: I was going to ask if rats are cute.

J: We are not getting another rat, Alan already has Fuzz Aldrin. Besides, I already said no to the hamster.

S: But if Kayo got one I could help look after him and cuddle him and stuff.

J: No.

K: Yes.

J: Pardon?

K: Rats are cute.

S: Yessssss!

K: *smirks*

J: I think we’re done here.

K: Finally.

S: You’re both as bad as each other, I swear.

J: Yet you continue to force this ordeal upon me.

S: Yep. *turns back to the camera* That’s it from us here on Five. Thanks for tuning in. Next time we’ll have the little seen in the wild creature known only as the Brains. 

K: *sniggers* He’ll love that.

J: EOS, cut feed. 

If you want to read the rest you can find them here on A03.