#Good; actually. Buying things makes me happy. Having a place full of junk does not

[kennys-parka-jacket]

I have spent over 750 on c0mms including tips. Damn

[whentherewerebicycles]

time for another HOUSE UPDATE!!!

I love my house so much 😭 I am not a very tidy person by nature and was worried that doubling my square footage would mean way more space to produce mess & clutter. but it turns out that living in a place that feels more like a house really changes the way I feel about house upkeep. I’ve invested so much time/work/money into making it a beautiful livable space and I feel like that makes the act of taking care of the space feel more joyful. I’ve also been able to replace a lot of my old banged-up furniture and belongings with nicer things and that makes me want to take better care of my space too because it’s not just like full of stuff I’ve been lugging around since I graduated from college. like I’m not somebody who loves spending money on home furnishings lol I still find that quite painful but there’s a pretty big difference between the couch you can afford when you’re 22 and making $13k a year and the couch you can afford when you’re 33 and making a generous grownup salary. so it’s been nice to be able to move up a couple tiers and to invest in stuff that looks nicer and will hopefully last a long time if I take good care of it.

also from a tidying perspective it turns out that if there’s just one person living in a house there’s actually less concentrated mess/clutter. I think this is because you can spread the same stable amount of mess out across multiple rooms… and when there’s lower clutter per room that makes it seem easier and less overwhelming to quickly pick up a space while you’re waiting for water to boil or coming in from a walk or whatever. when I was living in a much smaller space I basically had my room, my small bathroom, and an open plan living area that had to function as a kitchen, dining room, office, living room, entry hall, library, and storage area. that was fine/totally workable! but it also meant that if I left a bunch of books on the kitchen table while working in my ‘office’ I didn’t have place to drop stuff or eat so I’d turn the couch into a temporary storage or dining area and then I wouldn’t have anywhere to sit so I’d have to go to my room and then if I wasn’t actively using the living room much I’d wind up piling more junk there to keep my bedroom clear and within like 24 hours a space could go from being relatively tidy to feeling overwhelmingly cluttered and disorganized and then it just felt like so much work to pick it up because like ALL my stuff was strewn around in there. anyway I LOVE having the extra space and I am working hard not just to take care of it but also to find some joy and satisfaction in doing so! so far so good.

as far as house projects go: I’m very happy with the living room and am so, so glad I spent the time finding the right color and repainting it even though the process was a bit maddening. I’m pleased with the gallery wall too and I could not love the couch area more. it’s such a cozy space and I love having people over to hang out in it. I still need to find homes for some of the plants that are currently camping out in there and I’d like to either finish scraping paint off the light switch plates or just buy cheap new ones to replace them. I still need to get a TV console but I feel so defeated by the failure of the last one that I’m just not emotionally strong enough yet lol. I think I will probably need to resign myself to dropping more money on that purchase than I want to if I want to get something of better quality than the shitty particleboard one that didn’t work out. I think I’m just gonna put that off until my old job pays out my unused vacation days.

kitchen is good too… I felt some initial uncertainty about the yellow but it’s grown on me and it really does make me so happy every morning to come down on a dark gray rainy day and make coffee in my cheerful yellow kitchen. I need to figure out what to put on that far wall still (I don’t like the decorative clock there) but I’m just browsing Pinterest and waiting to see if the answer comes to me in time.

the half bath is definitely going to be my next big project. here’s what it looks like now (shield your eyes it’s SO blah):

my priorities are:

cover the extremely lame existing half-tiled walls with peel and stick tile

get a good rug in there to cover up the blah floor tiles

replace the very blah Home Depot cheapo mirror with a more interesting mirror

potentially paint the walls for a pop of color (or find a white that doesn’t feel as dingy)

put a shelf with cute little potted cacti over the toilet

get some good art on the walls (might go with texas-themed photos tbd)

get cute towels to match the color scheme

I have a hazy vision for a color scheme and decor feel—I’m thinking a rich playful saturated teal + terracotta pink-oranges with a southwestern desert/austin-y vibe. I’m not one hundred percent sure on that yet but we’ll see. right now I’m considering these tile patterns:

^^ this last one is probably my fave and I love the blue of the walls too. the color I have in mind for my bathroom walls is a bit more saturated but not too far off:

it photographs quite green hmm but in the actual light it’s a very pretty blue-leaning teal with lots of green in it. (I would probably swatch one with a bit more blue in it too just to see it on the wall.)

the tile question is a slightly frustrating one because there are three diff types of tile in that bathroom (all of them ugly as sin) and for some reason the half tiled wall is only on two of the four walls (whyyyyyy would you do that! why tile it at all!). so I have to decide if I’m going to peel and stick tile the half wall or the floor. one option is to wallpaper the half wall with something a little more neutral then do the terracotta tiles on the floor… the other is to do the terracotta tiles on the half wall and leave the floor as is in hopes that a rug can cover a good portion of it. all options seem like a headache lol but thoughts would be appreciated if you have any.

[milkybonya]

senior - friend - lover

Warning: mentions of drinking, but reader in this fic does not want to drink and does not drink, food mentions

Pairing: college!Jinjin x (gender neutral reader who is shy, has a hard time saying no)

Word count: 3.5k

Note: This is my entry for the Valentine’s day collab hosted by @kpoppwriter ! It was inspired by prompt 12: “You don’t have to if you don’t want to”

what i listened to while writing: I Like You by DAY6

On your first day at university, you got lost a total of three times, were late to all of your classes because of that, and you almost missed an important, required meeting for all first-years of your program. Almost.

As you were rushing back to your dorm, tired of the long day that you had just endured, you felt a hand gently grab your arm and stop you from moving forward. You almost grabbed the hand and twisted it out of anger until you looked up and realized who it was.

“[y/n]... right? You’re a first-year, no?” the person asked. You couldn’t quite remember his name, but you knew that he was a well-beloved senior in your program. During Welcome Week, he had been leading most of the events.

“Yeah, that’s me!”

You didn’t dare to ask his name, not wanting him to know that you had forgotten.

“I’m Jinjin. I’m sure you’ve seen me around,” he said, giving you the answer to your question without you even needing to ask.

“Yeah!” you say again, not sure what to say. This was the first time a senior in your program was talking with you one-on-one, so you didn’t want to embarrass yourself.

“I see you’re heading towards the dorms. Have you forgotten about the mandatory meeting for first-years?”

You gasped, eyes shaking as you realized that you had, in fact, forgotten. Jinjin smiled, his soft eyes disappearing into pretty crescents.

“You know how to get to the building, right?” he asked.

Your heart was racing. There was just one simple answer to that question… no. But for some reason, you had such a hard time saying that word. You felt like that word burdened whoever you were uttering it to, and for that reason, you always obliged with whatever came your way.

“Yeah!” you said for the third time.

“Okay, get there soon! It’s starting in five minutes,”Jinjin said, walking off and waving goodbye.

You pretended to walk towards this building, having no clue which one it even was, until Jinjin told you that you were going the wrong way.

“It’s okay. I actually have some things to do near there, so I can walk with you,” he said, leading the way.

How embarrassing, you thought to yourself. Now Jinjin knows that you pretended to know where you were going…

“It’s hard to ask for directions, right?” Jinjin asked you, walking with his hands in his pockets.

“Yeah…” you said, again.

“It feels like you’re a tourist even though you’re just a student on campus. But don’t worry, everyone here understands. We’ve all had to ask for directions before. Once, I asked for directions and it turned out I was standing right in front of the building I needed to find!” Jinjin explained, laughing softly. The sound was contagious and you laughed along. Your shoulders, that had been tense this entire time, dropped, and you felt yourself relaxing for the first time that day.

-

After that day, you tried your best to avoid Jinjin because of how embarrassed you felt, but somehow, the two of you would always run into one another. It would never end at just ‘hello’.

You were at the campus bookstore the next day, picking up some textbooks that you needed when someone tapped your shoulder. When you turned around, there he was. The boy who you’d embarrassed yourself in front of the day before.

“Hello! Are you picking up some books?”

You nodded, awkwardly returning to the shelves to scan them. Again, you weren’t sure what to say to your senior, but also again, Jinjin had a strange way of making you feel comfortable around him.

“Oh, don’t buy those books, [y/n]. It’s not worth the cost…” Jinjin said, pointing to the heavy load in your hands. When you blinked up at him, waiting for an explanation, he sighed.

“I doubt you’ll read them… But if you really want them, do you want to borrow mine? I still have them and they’re as good as new!”

“That would be great… How much should I pay you?”

Jinjin laughed.

“I said borrow. You can borrow them - there’s no need to pay!”

“Really?” you asked.

Jinjin leaned against the shelves and smiled, nodding.

“Can I drop them off at your dorm later today?” he asked.

When you nodded, he excused himself and walked towards a different part of the store. Thanks to Jinjin, you left the store empty-handed. It sounds sad, but actually, you were saving a lot of money thanks to him!

Just as he promised, he met you on the main floor of your residence building with a lot of books in his hands. It looked heavy, so you offered to help, but he said he didn’t need any. 

He walked up three flights of stairs (the elevator was broken), so by the time you had reached your room, he was sweating a ton. His veins were showing and his muscles protruding. He was such a cutie… you hadn’t expected him to be fully built with muscles.

He collapsed on the floor of your room once he placed the books on your desk, leaning his head back against your bed frame.

“Are you okay? Let me get you some water!”

When you brought him some, he chugged it all in one go and gasped for air once he was done. For some reason, that made you laugh, and Jinjin frowned at you.

“Is my pain funny to you?”

You pressed your lips together, shaking your head ‘no’.

“Anyways, there’s going to be a party for our program so we can introduce the first-years. Do you want to come?”

Gosh.. there it was. Another instance where you wanted to say no but just couldn’t. Why was it so hard for you to say ‘no’ in the most crucial situations?

“Uh… sure!” you said quietly. You weren’t fond of parties. Being a shy person made it hard to interact with strangers. Even if the people at the party weren’t really strangers, since they were all in your program, talking to them and socializing would be hard.

Jinjin scanned your face with his eyes.

“You don’t look like you want to go, though.”

“What? No… that’s… not true.”

“You look like I’m forcing you to go somewhere…” he said, squinting at you.

“You don’t have to come, [y/n]. If anyone asks, I’ll just say… you were studying?”

“But it’s only the first week… there isn’t much studying to do!”

“Shhh, I’ll tell them you have a quiz you’re worried about,” Jinjin said, standing up and waving away your worries with his hands.

“But-”

“Don’t worry, [y/n]. I’ve got it covered.”

-

“[y/n], you said you’d treat me out to food as a thanks for borrowing my books, right? Can we go eat somewhere today?” Jinjin asked you over the phone.

“But I didn’t… say that…”

“Oh, right… you didn’t. I wasn’t trying to make use of your inability to say no or anything! I swear! I was honestly just trying to find an excuse to have a meal with you but… you don’t have to treat me if you don’t want to!”

“Jinjin, you don’t need to make any excuses for having a meal with me. I’m always down to share a meal.”

“Really?” he asked, his voice somehow sounding like a happy puppy.

In the evening, the two of you went to a pizza place just outside campus to indulge in junk food. Things were getting stressful with exams approaching, and there was nothing like pizza to make you feel better.

When Jinjin asked you if you liked a certain flavour of pizza, you couldn’t help but agree, even though you hated that flavour the most. You just didn’t want to upset him…

He noticed the way you nibbled and tried to hide the fact that you were almost gagging on the taste. There was a soft thud as he dropped his pizza onto his plate.

“[y/n]... you don’t like this flavour, do you?”

“It’s fine!” you said, trying to take a big bite but struggling.

“It’s clearly not…” Jinjin noted, taking the pizza from your hands, his warm hand brushing against yours as he put the pizza away.

“Tell me what kind of pizza you want right now and I’ll go get it,” he said, pushing back in his chair, the legs scraping against the floor.

“You don’t have to!” you said, also standing up nervously.

“No, [y/n]. You don’t have to. Please, when you’re with me, don’t ever worry about anything. Only do the things that you want to do.”

You could hear your heartbeat flooding your ears as he said this. How did he have the ability to make you feel so comfortable?

When he ordered the pizza that you wanted, he watched as you ate with heart.

“Why aren’t you eating?” you asked him.

“I’m full,” he said, continuing to watch you. You found it awkward to eat as he watched, so Jinjin continued to eat his own pizza despite saying that he was full just moments ago.

“Wait… so why did you want to eat today so badly?” you suddenly asked Jinjin.

“What do you mean? I thought you said I didn’t need a reason to want to eat with you?”

“I’m just curious now,” you said, slyly taking a bite of your pizza.

“I just wanted to see you…” Jinjin mumbled in-between mouthfuls of food.

“Hm?”

“Nothing… I’m just hungry,” Jinjin said, taking a big bite of his food.

-

Once the second semester began, more people had picked up on your struggles with saying ‘no’. In group projects, all of the workload was forced onto your shoulders. People dragged you to parties and events that you didn’t want to nor had the time to attend, and you were sick and tired of everyone. Everyone except for Jinjin, of course, whom you’d managed to grow extremely close to, despite him being your senior.

“Give me your phone,” Jinjin demanded, crossing his arms over the library desk.

“Jinjin, calm down-”

He snatched it from your hands before you could finish your sentence and sighed once he saw the messages on your screen. Then, he began furiously typing a response. You leaned forward and tried to reach for your phone, but Jinjin wouldn’t let you have it. He only gave it back once he was done typing.

“These rascals… [y/n], I’ve told you to say no when they make excuses for not being able to do the work.”

“It’s hard,” you whined, eyes widening once you read the nasty response Jinjin had written.

This is a group project and there will be no free riders. I know you’re all lying. Everyone will do their part as we decided, or else you’ll get a zero as I’ll be showing the professor these lies that you’ve all messaged me.

“Jinjin, this message is so scary.”

“You have to be scary for them to take you seriously!” Jinjin says, his loud voice earning him glares from a couple of students.

“I know it’s hard… Whenever you get these messages, tell me and I’ll reply for you, okay?” Jinjin tells you.

As the two of you returned to your studies, you noticed a part of Jinjin’s forearm glowing. The ceiling of the library was all glass, so the sunlight was able to shine down sometimes. Today, the sun had decided to bless Jinjin.

Acting on your sudden urge, you stretched out your arm to poke Jinjin’s forearm, right where the sun’s rays were shining on it. He looked up after your finger collided with his skin, confused.

“Look, the sun’s shining on you!” you pointed out, amused. Jinjin smiled seeing your reaction to something so simple.

“You used to be so scared of me… now you even poke my arm?” he asked.

“Oh… I’m sorry!” you said, retracting yourself away from him and returning to your notes. Jinjin watched you for a few moments as you tried to study, admiring your beautiful face from only an arm’s length away.

-

“Drink up drink up!”

Glasses clinked together inside the warm pub, the sound echoing in your ears. Once everyone’s glasses met their lips, the only sounds that could be heard were the murmuring of chatter that filled the slightly busy space and something sizzling in a pan far off towards the kitchen.

You took a sip of your glass of water, trying to hide it from all your college friends. They were quick to catch on, though.

“It seems like [y/n] isn’t drinking tonight,” the person next to you said, pushing your glass of water forward for all to see.

“Do you think we’re a joke, [y/n]? We came to this pub to drink!” another person said.

“Yeah, if you’re not going to drink, then pay for the bill.”

Your heart was racing. Once again, a moment where you wanted to say ‘no’. You needed to say no but just couldn’t.

“Okay, okay!” you gave in.

Everyone cheered.

“Someone, fill a glass for [y/n]!”

Jinjin, sitting across from you, started to pour the contents of a bottle into a shot glass. Of all people, you would not expect him to do this. But when he handed it to you, he gave you a wink while smiling from ear-to-ear. Though you’d only known him for a year now, you knew this meant you could trust him.

Taking a deep breath, you lifted the glass to your lips, tilted your head back and downed its contents.

Water.

It was water.

You laughed to yourself when you realized, but your friends just thought that the ‘alcohol’ was cheering you up.

“That’s right!” the person next to you said, nudging you.

Jinjin filled your glass two more times with water until everyone stopped paying so much attention to you. Then, the two of you stepped out for some air.

“I thought you were trying to help me learn how to say no,” you told Jinjin, who pulled the hood of his hoodie over his head.

He smiled. This boy seriously never stopped smiling at you.

“That was an emergency. I knew it would be hard to say no when everyone was staring at you like that, so I thought I’d give you a hand. Was that so wrong of me?” he asked you, pointing dramatically to himself.

You shook your head, pushing him slightly. He pretended to stumble, making you laugh.

“Just know that if you ever don’t want to do something, you don’t have to do it. Especially when I’m around,” Jinjin said. The hanging lights from the exterior of the pub were making his crescent eyes twinkle.

“I know. You tell me that everyday,” you said, feeling embarrassed. Sometimes Jinjin acted like he was your dad or something.

“And I should. Until you understand that, it’ll still be hard for you to say ‘no’.”

He gently patted the top of your head before heading back inside, leaving you there in the chilly air. But the air didn’t feel so cold anymore, especially after he patted your head like that.

-

“What if left… wuz right and right… wuz lefht?” Jinjin asked, waving his arms around wildly and almost falling over forwards.

“Jinjin please stop walking away from me and just hold onto my shoulder so I can get you home safely,” you whined, chasing after him for the seventh time. 

After getting angry at your friends for trying to slip alcohol into your glass since they realized you’d been drinking water, Jinjin yelled at everyone at the table and declared that anytime anyone made you drink, he’d down the drinks for you instead. Now, you were left with a very drunk Jinjin to carry home.

“If lefht iz right then am I wrong?” Jinjin asked, finally stopping and facing you. 

His knees were bent in a weird way and his small frame looked so adorable in the massive hoodie he was wearing. While he was distracted, you raised his arm and wrapped it around your shoulder, holding him by the waist so he wouldn’t escape.

“Nooooo!” he squealed, squirming and trying to run away again.

“What is your problem?! It’s me, [y/n]! Why do you want to run away so badly?”

“That’s the problem. You’re [y/n] and… when…. When you hold me like thissss… I… get….. Confused!” he suddenly yelled the last word, making you jump.

“Confused? Why?”

Then you realized that your hand was wrapped around his waist.

“What do you mean?” you quietly asked.

“[y/n] I like you! So stop… confuse… confusing me…”

“But Jinjin, I like you too…” you admitted, your heart swelling. 

This man was the only person who made you feel comfortable when you were around him. He had become such a close and dear friend, he was cute as heck and every time he’d pat your head, somehow that was enough to make your heart do a million cartwheels?

“No, no, [y/n]. It’s okay. You can sayyyyyy. No. You can. Ssssay it,” Jinjin grumbled, still continuing to walk along with you.

“But Jinjin, I mean it this time. I really do.”

Jinjin let out a strange gasping sound and then went quiet, leaving you alone with your thoughts while you dragged this man’s heavy body to his apartment.

What was the use in telling him in his drunken state that you liked him, anyway? It’s not like he would remember. Oh, well. At least you knew he liked you back! But how in the world would you bring this up tomorrow…

-

February 14th. The next day was Valentine’s day. You had to confront Jinjin about his drunk confession on Valentine’s day of all days?!?!

You woke up in a seated position, your head resting against a bed frame. Then, you remembered that you had walked Jinjin home last night and he didn’t let you leave, so you had been trapped in his room until you fell asleep.

Beside you, Jinjin was still softly snoring in his white t-shirt, so you got up and tried to make some breakfast. Just after a few minutes though, Jinjin immediately woke up.

“[y/n]? What are you doing here?” he asked in his raspy voice. His low tone made you shiver.

“Do you not remember last night?” you asked, trying to sound confident.

“No… we were out drinking! And those stupid friends of yours were forcing you to drink… Then I drank a lot…. And then?”

“And then?” you urged him.

He didn’t answer.

You sighed in relief. He’s forgotten!

You heard rustling and Jinjin got up and walked to the bathroom. Or at least, that’s what you thought he was doing, but he actually left the house.

When breakfast was ready and you couldn’t find him anywhere, you got concerned and began to call him. No answer.

You sat at the small table outside his kitchen, sighing at the food in front of you. Where had this man left in his pyjamas?

After a few minutes, you heard the doorknob turning and Jinjin walked in… with a whole bouquet of flowers in his hands. Your first reaction was to laugh, because his hair was a mess and his face was so puffy and tired, but this man was holding the prettiest flowers… it was irony in the flesh.

“[y/n],” he said, kicking off his shoes and cutely hobbling over towards you.

“What is it?” you asked, still trying not to laugh.

“I’m sorry that it turned out this way, but… I like you.”

Hearing that just made you laugh even harder - why were you laughing so much today? Just the fact that this man had already confessed yesterday without knowing and was doing it today too… for some reason that was funny.

“You’re laughing?” Jinjin asked, starting to also laugh himself.

“Okay, yes, I know. It’s Valentine’s day and I should have done something better, but when I woke up and you were next to me, there wasn’t much I could do! I had different plans… I was going to confess to you right when I saw you, and I was planning to look nicer than I do now, but-”

“You look great,” you said, your laughter having ceased now. 

“Are you being sarcastic?”

“No, I swear. These flowers are so pretty, too.”

“Did you hear anything I said?”

“Yes, Jinjin. And I heard you yesterday too, when you drunkenly said that you like me.”

“I… said that yesterday?” Jinjin asked, his legs giving out as he fell onto the chair across from you.

“Yes, you did. And… you were really cute,” you said, mumbling the last part.

“Well, what did you say?” Jinjin asked, awaiting your response.

“I…” You froze. It was easier to tell him how you felt last night when he was drunk and out of it, but now you were afraid. 

What was there to be afraid of when Jinjin already liked you?!

You took a deep breath before speaking.

“I said I like you too?”

“Really?” Jinjin asked, standing up and excitedly running around his tiny dorm.

You laughed, watching your senior and now boyfriend yell while the food in front of you continued to get cold. Weirdly enough, even the flowers looked like they were smiling at you.

[commentaryvorg]

Digimon Data Squad Dub Comparison Episode 2 - Marcus’ Inner Strength!

This is a companion to my commentary on the original Japanese Digimon Savers! Reading my commentary on the original version of this episode (which you can find here) is recommended before reading this dub comparison.

Original name ~ Dubbed name

Masaru Daimon ~ Marcus Damon

Yoshino Fujieda ~ Yoshino “Yoshi” Fujieda

Tohma H. Norstein ~ Thomas H. Norstein

Sayuri Daimon ~ Sarah Damon

Chika Daimon ~ Kristy Damon

Captain Rentarou Satsuma ~ Commander Richard Sampson

[Since several characters share the same name between the original and the dub, quotes from the dub will always be in italics, while quotes from the original will not, in order to distinguish them.]

Kudamon:  “Satsuma, what must be done with Raptor-1?”

~~~~~

Kudamon:  “Tell them what will happen to Raptor-1, Commander Sampson.”

Originally, Kudamon was asking, making it somewhat more sensible to think that Satsuma is not actually planning on sending Agumon back, despite the way he awkwardly implies as such by going on to demonstrate it with the Cockatrimon egg. In the dub, it sounds a lot more like Sampson and Kudamon have already firmly decided that Agumon is going to be sent back, which should not actually be the case.

(Granted, I found this whole aspect rather awkward in the original, but the dub is not helping.)

Satsuma:  “Digimon who cause problems in the human world…”

~~~~~

Sampson: “Any Digimon who break the real-world law…”

While I didn’t appreciate the original calling it a “crime” for a Digimon to be in the human world, at least this line got to the actual point – that a Digimon being in the human world is simply a problem that they need to clean up. The dub leans even more into this “crime” idea by claiming that there’s some sort of explicit law about this, even though Digimon from the Digital World should have no way of knowing about such a law.

Also, do you notice another key difference here? The original calls it the “human world”. The dub calls it the “real world”. The latter is a term that Savers never uses to refer to the human world, which I appreciate a lot. Calling the human world the “real” world implies that the Digital World is somehow less real and less important than the human world, and by extension so are Digimon. That is extremely the wrong attitude to have about it, especially for this series in particular, and I appreciate that the people in DATS, and the writers of Savers, understand this. To be fair, the dub almost always gets this right, too! But apparently someone was sleeping on the job this time.

Satsuma:  “We simply sent it back to the Digital World, where Digimon live.”

~~~~~

Sampson: “What you’ve just seen was the Digimon you defeated being sent back to the Digital World.”

The dub’s version of this line sounds a lot more unnecessarily expositiony, as if they think viewers couldn’t have picked up which Digimon this was from the flashback to the egg appearing after the fight.

Agumon: “Boss, please do something, I don’t wanna go back!”

What does he mean, go “back”? Agumon doesn’t remember ever being in the Digital World in the first place.

Sampson: “It’s a Digivice.”

Kudamon: “Marcus dropped it when he fled.”

The dub fills a silence to establish another obvious fact that definitely nobody could ever have picked up through implication.

Satsuma:  “I see. That man must’ve…”

~~~~~

Sampson: “That kid. Full of surprises.”

Since the actual word Satsuma used in Japanese was “person” and not “man”, apparently it completely went over the dubbers’ heads that Satsuma was meant to be referring to the old man who gave Masaru his Digivice, not Masaru himself. Way to miss the point there and lose out on the implication that he knows the guy.

Agumon: “Good idea, Boss. No-one will think there’s aaanything suspicious about a walking cardboard box!”

Pfft. The thing is, I don’t think Agumon’s being sarcastic. That’s kind of a trait that dub-Agumon has that’s a not quite there in the original – a tendency to unironically say dumb things that most people would only mean as snark. I kinda like it; it’s cute and amusing and fitting for his character.

Agumon:  “If this is junk food, then I’m happy to be a garbage dump!”

And here’s that other dub-added trait of Agumon’s that I don’t appreciate as much: somehow knowing about human concepts he really should not know about yet. Though calling this one a “trait” is debatable when it’s more like the dubbers not thinking things through.

Sayuri:  “Really, where were you last night? I thought you got in trouble with the police again! I was so worried!”

~~~~~

Sarah: “Well… you’re busted, that’s what’s going on. Fess up! While you were out getting into trouble, I was up all night worried sick! Now where were you?”

Sarah’s line here has a bit of a difference from Sayuri’s, which you can also hear in her voice – she was still worried, but she’s focusing this a lot more on being stern and angry at her son for misbehaving. I liked that Sayuri wasn’t really that angry at Masaru despite having plenty of reason to be, and I’m a little sad to lose that.

Sarah also doesn’t imply any prior trouble with the police, but the dub of episode 1 did add in a few little things that already implied that, so I don’t mind.

Marcus: “Hahaha! What trouble? I don’t even know the meaning of the word! You really oughta buy me a dictionary!”

I enjoy this line. It is appropriately dorky and ridiculous and obviously-trying-to-distract-from-the-truth.

[Agumon tumbles out of the closet he was hiding in]

Agumon: “Why d’ya keep shoving me into small places?”

Aww, of course Agumon wouldn’t like being kept in small places after his time being held at DATS! The original implied something like this with the animal cage, but it didn’t bring it up for the closet (and implicitly also the box), too.

Sayuri:  “Masaru, remember our promise?”

~~~~~

Sarah:  “I hope you’re not forgetting the promise we made.”

Sarah, again, sounds sterner than Sayuri here. It’s like she thinks Marcus would potentially just forget all about the promise because he never really cared about it that much. Like she had to nag him into even agreeing to keep it in the first place. That’s absolutely not the point of their promise to tell each other everything until his dad comes back, not in the original; it’s a way to help keep the family together in his absence that Masaru would have been 1000% on board with wanting to keep, in principle.

Kristy: “You don’t mistake a thing like seeing a giant lizard, *Mom*!”

Kristy has a lot more attitude here than Chika did.

The Japanese kushikatsu that Yoshino compliments Sayuri on gets called a corn dog in the dub, which is fair enough localisation; they do look similar.

Yoshino:  “So that’s why I’ll be freeloading off you here for a while.”

~~~~~

Yoshi:  “So I guess we’ll be seeing a lot of each other, since I now have to keep an eye on you two guys.”

Sadly, Yoshi does not make a point of the free food she’ll be getting out of this.

Marcus:  “No way! You’re not taggin’ along with me, toots!”

Can we not? I thought this stopped after the first episode; I guess I was wrong. Sigh. It does still stop soon, I’m pretty sure.

Marcus: “Just great. He even eats in his sleep.”

This makes it seem a lot more like Marcus is only disgruntled because of Agumon’s loud sleep-eating, and not because Yoshi is sleeping in his bed and he gets the floor.

Agumon: “And what is school again?”

Marcus:  “…A place where there are tons of people to fight.”

It’s basically the same line as the original, but Marcus’s tone sounds a lot more bitter, less like he’s actually trying to make Agumon think this, and more like he’s just grumpily thinking “I wish it were but actually it sucks”.

Yoshi: “And safety rule number one says: Keep your Digimon stored!”

I doubt this is an actual written rule anywhere at DATS. And if it is, surely it should be a secrecy rule, not safety? It’s not like a well-behaved Digimon, like all partners of DATS members should be, is inherently unsafe just by being out and about.

Marcus’s squawks as he rushes out the door because he’s going to be late, again, sound a lot more bitter and grumpy, like he just hates going to school. There was none of this impression given with Masaru! Sure, I don’t think school is particularly Masaru’s favourite thing either, but it doesn’t come across like he’s upset about having to go there. Apparently the dubbers have just decided that, because Marcus is A Jock™, he’s obviously meant to be the kind of teenager who hates school, right.

Marcus:  “If you’re gonna follow me, you could at least give me a lift in your car!”

You know, he has a point here. Masaru didn’t think to ask that.

This car conversation is the first point at which Yoshino starts calling him Agumon, but meanwhile Yoshi is still calling him Raptor-1. I guess sharing a meal with him as if he’s actually a person or something didn’t do anything for her.

Yoshino:  “I won’t have to look after you guys either… but I guess that’ll never happen.”

~~~~~

Yoshi: “And, the best part of all is that I wouldn’t have to babysit you guys any more.”

Despite having the same snarky look on her face for this line, Yoshi is not actually snarking at them here. I am disappoint.

Kristy: “When he came in to feed the chickens and rabbits this morning, they were all gone. Nobody knows where they went.”

So the dub is going for the insistence that the animals definitely just disappeared mysteriously. No Animals Were Harmed, guys. I guess the Kunemon just… kidnapped them?

Which… is fairly understandable. It does mean we lose out on that cute line where Masaru commented that it was terrible.

Agumon:  “I couldn’t get used to being inside that cramped Digivice!”

~~~~~

Agumon: “Please, Boss! All these cramped places are making me claustrophobic.”

The dub makes more of a point of connecting together all of Agumon’s experiences in being put in cramped spaces, which is some extra nuance that I appreciate!

Yoshi: “You know, Agumon, there should be a rule about leaving your Digivice without permission.”

…I thought there literally was? Safety rule number one, wasn’t it? This should count as part of that. Yeah, I figured that dub “addition” wasn’t going to be an actual thing that mattered.

Lalamon: “Frankly I don’t know how you slept with all his snoring, but…”

Lalamon has some added sass here, wow.

Marcus & Agumon: “The ultimate team! It’s fightin’ time again!”

“The ultimate team” is a cute thing for these two to start calling themselves, but I find it a little bit of a stretch that they’re doing so this soon.

Marcus: “Kristy! Don’t! Worry! We’ll! Get! Whoever! Did! This!”

Marcus somehow manages to be even more embarrassingly dorky than Masaru was here. Maybe it’s the lip-flap’s fault that he’s yelling it so awkwardly like this?

Agumon: “What is it with you and these cramped spaces, Boss?”

This is as Agumon is locked inside the animal cage. I still appreciate how they’re connecting all these together.

…Though at this point, since Agumon has expressed his dislike for these so many times, it becomes more of a dick move deliberately ignoring Agumon’s wishes for Marcus to still be doing this anyway.

Agumon:  “I hate being cooped up. Locked up like a criminal.”

Connecting it even more to Agumon’s experiences at DATS! Without actually explicitly saying that this is why!

You know how I brought up in my commentary of the original episode that Agumon not liking this is probably to do with that? It’s actually only because the dub made more of a point of this that I picked up on it. Though I still believe that was probably meant to be the point in the original, it was perhaps a little bit too subtle about it. The dub being actually good at subtlety in ways that weren’t there in the original is very decidedly not going to be a common theme here, so let’s appreciate it while we have it.

Masaru:  “What are you doing out here so late? Did you come to check on the cages?” [The kid doesn’t respond.] “Hey, say something!”

~~~~~

Marcus: “You come to check on the cages or somethin’? Well, thanks, but you shouldn’t be here. Now go home.” [The kid doesn’t respond.] “Hey, did you hear me? Get outta here!”

Marcus is a little harsher to this kid than Masaru was; it’s there in his tone of voice, too. It does make sense to tell him to go home, because Digimon secrecy etc, but I do like how Masaru didn’t actually care about that and was just curious as to what was up with this kid. Masaru is good with kids. It comes across like Marcus is significantly less so.

Takashi:  “I wished they would just disappear! And then, this guy…”

~~~~~

Takashi:  “I wished they’d all just disappear, and then they did! Thanks to him…”

(Takashi’s name is not actually mentioned in the dub, so whatever, let’s assume he’s still called Takashi.)

Something about the way dub-Takashi expresses this reads a little differently to me. It feels slightly less like he’s conscious of the fact that the Kunemon came and got rid of the animals because of his wishes, and more like it was just a happy coincidence. The fact that he actually admits that the animals disappeared and says it’s “thanks” to the Kunemon also suggests more like he’s actually happy about that happening.

…Though, him admitting “and then they did [disappear]” might be part of the dub scrambling to reassure viewers that No Animals Were Harmed. And since that is apparently literally what happened and they really weren’t killed, I guess Takashi would be less traumatised and more just satisfied that he got his wish.

If he is less traumatised, there’s less explanation for why he passes out, but, eh.

Yoshi: “Stay back.”

Marcus:  “Do *what*?!”

I love the incredulity in Marcus’s response. What do you mean, don’t fight a thing?!

Masaru:  “Don’t be stupid! There’s no way I’ll turn my back on the enemy and run like a coward! No matter how difficult it gets, I’ll stand firm without taking a step back! That’s… how a man should live!”

~~~~~

Marcus: “No, I’ll never run away! An ultimate fighter never shows cowardice! No matter how difficult the fight might be, I stand my ground. That’s what a winner does! Fightin’ time agaaain!”

I’m going to be doing a lot of complaining about the dub messing up most of Masaru’s manly speeches that I adore. This one, though, is okay – it’s pretty simply don’t-give-up stuff that there isn’t much to mess up about.

However, what is very different, you might notice, is the lack of this being about what a man does. I pointed out a couple of bits in episode 1 where the dub basically kept the mentions of manliness or even added one in where it wasn’t there before, but I also mentioned that this is very rare for them. Because this here is usually what they do – remove the references to manliness altogether.

They probably mean well with this? They probably think Masaru’s manliness thing is some kind of toxic masculinity that they don’t want their kids’ show protagonist to be espousing. But here’s the thing: it isn’t toxic masculinity. If the dubbers assume that’s what it is just because they heard the word “man” being used a lot, without even bothering to, you know, listen to what Masaru is actually saying when he talks about this, I am very disappointed in them.

Masaru’s concept of manliness is one of the most interesting and distinctive things about his character, and I’m sad to see the dub water it down. Even while removing the references to manliness, some of the general principle of it can still be kept (though the dub will often be losing even that, as we’ll see), but without one central word that he always connects these ideas to, the whole thing seems a lot less pointed and cohesive, and it’s a lot harder to realise that it’s A Thing about him in the first place.

(And we also lose the delightful connection that it has to the thing with his dad, which I could already pick up on the implication of at this point on my very first watch. Without the specific mention of manliness here, I wouldn’t have figured out what makes Masaru tick nearly so soon, and I wouldn’t have enjoyed my first viewing of this series quite as much.)

Marcus: “Ready to fight, Agumon?”

Agumon: “Yeah!”

Marcus: “All right, then!”

Marcus’s tone of voice with the “all right, then!” sounds weirdly sinister and not at all like an excited dork ready to go win a fight alongside his new best friend. What on earth were the voice directors doing here.

(I’m tentatively not going to blame this on Marcus’s voice actor, because he’s generally really good at his job.)

Old man:  “This human world must be too small for you to swing around these fiery fists of yours. How about it? In the Digimon’s world, you’ll find plenty of formidable opponents to fight to your heart’s content.”

~~~~~

Old man:  “If you want to become the ultimate fighter who fights the ultimate battles, then you’re not going to find it in this world. But in the Digital World, there’s an unlimited number of opponents who will test your fighting skills, and make you the best fighter on *two* worlds!”

Um. He was not originally supposed to be literally talking about the Digital World here. This is supposed to be, at least on an in-universe level, just the old guy saying something that’ll help Masaru realise he wants to join DATS. The Digital World has nothing to do with that, because DATS isn’t supposed to involve him necessarily ever going there.

Marcus: “Then I’ll be… the ultimate…!”

Credit to the dub, they are actually remembering that change they made in episode 1 where Marcus just wants to be an ultimate fighter and doesn’t feel like he is one yet. This is still consistent… for now.

Masaru:  “Please! Let us join DATS!”

~~~~~

Marcus: “Well… Guess what. We’re gonna do you a favour and join DATS.”

I liked how sincere Masaru was about really wanting to join, knowing that they have every reason to refuse him. But Marcus? Is just being an arrogant prick about it. Apparently he doesn’t know how to swallow his pride. And this is despite him having the same humble, pleading body language as in the original, which this attitude does not remotely match with.

Satsuma:  “Daimon Masaru, I figured you would come to us one day.”

~~~~~

Sampson:  “I knew it would happen. Frankly, I’m surprised that it took you this long to ask, Marcus.”

With Sampson’s phrasing about Marcus asking, this is specifically just about him expecting Marcus to want to join since he met Agumon. The implication the original had that he’d already been expecting to Masaru to end up here before Agumon even showed up is completely missing. Another implication that apparently went right over the dubbers’ heads.

Masaru:  “Now we can fight against as many strong guys as we want!”

~~~~~

Marcus: “And just think of all the bad guys we’re gonna get to beat up!”

Marcus specifies that their opponents will be bad guys, which is not the point in the original. Masaru isn’t particularly doing this to feel like a hero; he’s just doing this because he wants to challenge himself.

I imagine the dub made this change because they want to emphasise that, hey, our kids’ show protagonist who fights people a lot is definitely not a bad person, really, see, because it’s only bad guys he fights!!! But that isn’t necessary. Masaru’s fighting thing is already perfectly honourable, because he only fights people who want to fight him.

Tohma:  “It’s been a while since I’ve last seen it… Mom’s homeland, Japan.”

~~~~~

Thomas: “After so long… I’m coming home… at last.”

Tohma’s words implied that he didn’t quite think of Japan as his own home, but apparently Thomas is completely fine in seeing it that way.

We also lose the mention of his mom being from Japan, which is a little nugget of information that I think we otherwise wouldn’t have for quite a few more episodes. Though I suppose simply the fact that he thinks of Japan as home implies that part of his family must be local despite his more prominent Austrian heritage that we’re going to learn about soon enough.

Overall differences

This episode isn’t that significantly different overall; most of the differences are just the usual lost nuance or less sense-making or Marcus being less interesting, and also people generally being a bit sassier.

I genuinely like the added focus on Agumon not liking cramped spaces, implicitly because they remind him of his time imprisoned at DATS. An actually good addition, and decent subtlety!

Marcus is vaguely more of a jerk in some bits, and also I guess he hates school because he’s A Jock™ or whatever.

The mention of being a man is removed from his speech. I’m specifically noting it here because this is the first time we’re seeing it happen, but this is also going to be a regular thing that I’ll probably stop mentioning in these summaries before long.

I suppose technically the biggest change in what actually happens is that No Animals Were Harmed. Which is something I understand them doing, but it also does mean Takashi loses a bit of interesting nuance because he’s not accidentally a murderer.

[mellometal]

Hey, everyone.

I've tried to compose myself before making this post. This is a subject that I've touched on a little bit in posts, but I've never done a deep dive into JUST this topic. I was going to make a post solely about this subject sooner, but this one in particular is really hard for me to talk about without getting emotional...and yet Dhar Mann has talked about this on quite a few occasions in the most insincere, toxic ways. I'll do my best to discuss this topic without getting too emotional.

It's about a serious subject that people still are ignorant about and don't take seriously. Even to this day, with the body positivity and body neutrality movements. (I don't know of a better way to describe just being neutral about your body. Sorry if it sounds weird.)

For anyone who doesn't know what I'm referring to (honestly, I don't blame you, as this is a subject that's often seen as normal and is encouraged in society for the most part), I'm talking about fatphobia. Hating on people for being fat. Discriminating people because of their weight in the workplace, at the doctor's office, just in general. Not many stores having inclusive sizes. People being treated like they're subhuman because they're fat.

I want to say this first, before I bash on Dhar Mann again: I'm a plus-size young woman. This is something that I have personal experience with. Your weight has no significance to your worth as a person. If you do happen to be overweight, obese, whatever, you're not subhuman. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You're worthy of being loved, listened to, treated with kindness, and respected, just like anyone else who isn't fat.

If you treat people like utter shit for their weight, get some help. Why do you care about somebody else's weight? Obviously there's an exception to this, like if they're so big they can't move or they're so skinny their organs are showing....because those are causes for concern, but other than that, mind your own business. Even if they are in those extremities, unless you're their doctor and/or their family, STILL mind your own business. How the fuck does a fat person simply breathing and existing affect you in any way? News flash: there will always be fat people.

Before I get to the weekly ritual of tearing TWO of Dhar Mann's videos apart (the next one will be in another post or I'll reblog this post and continue on there), here's an obligatory trigger warning for the video analysis itself and my response: The following post contains fatphobia, fat shaming, a man being super fucking misogynistic and treating women like they're objects, and there's even a touch of some racial aggression. How shocking. Because Dhar Mann really seems to get a kick out of writing about racism to make it all cute. Oh yeah, you're totally solving racism, Dhar Mann. /s

My response contains my experience with fatphobia, relationships with food, mentioned/implied thoughts of s3lf h@rm, feeling like I'm unworthy of being treated like an actual person because of my weight, and absolute rage. Like usual. My responses are very heated. This one especially. It's LONG. Buckle up.

With all this out of the way, let's get to the first video that I want to tear apart. This one is about the auditions for a record deal. I will get to the video about a kid wanting to be a host of a radio show later.

To sum up the first video, a plus-size white woman (Krissy Elliot) is singing for an agent (Isaac) and his assistant (Evette) so she can follow her dream to become a singer. Isaac cuts Krissy off to viciously bash her for being a plus-size woman. Evette stands up for this woman, and says she sounded fine and to let her finish. Isaac doesn't listen to Evette, let alone take what she said into consideration. He continues to ridicule Krissy for her appearance, that she'll "never make it in the music industry" (WRONG, do you know how many plus-size people are in the fucking music industry? There are A LOT more now than when I was growing up and it honestly makes me so happy. There were more plus-size people in the entertainment industry than in the music industry back then.), suggested that she "become a chef or a food critic" because she apparently loves being around food (being a chef or a food critic are noble professions, but NEVER fucking assume ANYONE'S relationships with food), to the point where Krissy left the room in tears.

Here are a few screenshots for context:

When this skinny, conventionally attractive woman (Jesse) comes in, Isaac's mood does a COMPLETE 180° and he's all sunshine and rainbows. Then right as soon as Jesse did her audition, Isaac is over the fucking moon, complimenting her physical appearance, treating her like an object, and signs her up for a record deal RIGHT AWAY. Pay attention to Isaac's facial expressions in one of these screenshots.

Evette suggests that they sign Krissy for a record deal instead. Because she was "the best singer they've had all day". Isaac, still all hot and bothered by a skinny, conventionally attractive woman that he's treating like an object, tells Evette that people like Krissy don't make it in the music industry because they're "overweight and unattractive", and is verbally aggressive towards her when she does nothing but explain her stance. Isaac sees this as Evette "talking back" (remember how I mentioned that there's racial aggression? He says that Evette is "talking back" because she happens to be a black woman) and fires her. He signs Jesse a record deal and has a blast with her.

The award ceremony comes around, and they're picking a winner for Best New Artist. They pick the winner, and it's....guess what? You'll never get it! It's Krissy Elliot! Why? Because Evette became her agent after Isaac fired her. Krissy goes into her whole story about how she was laughed out of every single agency and that she worked hard. Good for her. Jesse is obviously very happy for Krissy. We gotta love women supporting women.

This video was again another dumpster fire. As usual. Like I said, with this video in particular, I couldn't get through the first thirty seconds the first time around. Because I've dealt with shit like this. Obviously not with the music industry because I don't even think I'd be good enough to step into an agency...but I mean in my personal life.

Being told by my own dad that he was "tired of buying bigger clothes for me" when I was a young teenager, despite him buying almost nothing but "junk food".

Having my abuser make comments about my weight and talking about diets while I'm trying to eat my food, despite her being overweight.

Having someone I know (not anyone I'm friends with) make a comment about me eating a few things (ONE small piece of broccoli, two baby carrots, a small handful of chips, and ONE small piece of pineapple) and said to "save some for everyone else", even though I was saving food for everyone else, which is why I took so little. She tried to justify it with the fact nobody was there yet (why do you think I took very little food?), and she "was saying that to everyone" (why did she look at ME when she said that instead of making it clear that she was talking to everyone [saying "Hey, everyone" before the comment about saving some for everyone else IS NOT HARD]?), even though I know it was just to save her own ass. I knew she said that to me because I'm plus-size. She didn't say anything to anyone else, nor did she make it clear that she was talking to everyone.

Another person I know (not a person I'm friends with) saying that I overreacted (I did not overreact; SOMEONE TRIGGERED ME and you did NOTHING about it) even though they all KNEW my relationship with food is complicated. They KNEW that I don't really like eating in front of other people. I was upset that someone MADE A FUCKING DISGUSTING, TRIGGERING COMMENT ABOUT ME EATING VERY FEW FOOD ITEMS, ALMOST ALL WERE HEALTHY, DESPITE OTHER PEOPLE EATING A LOT MORE THAN I DID AND PICKING AT EVERYTHING. That day, I was begging one of my friends (one of the people I trust to eat around) to PLEASE take me home because I didn't want to be there (never wanted to be there in the first place), I was tired (I worked all night the night before and was forced to go to a meeting before all this happened), I didn't feel comfortable there anymore, there were way too many people (four individuals plus all their staff from another house were in the house I work in), I couldn't breathe (I was either about to pass out, have a panic attack, or just start crying), but nobody listened to me. I ended up getting a bus to go home.

(Sorry about all that. I was trying not to get emotional in this post. I just needed to share how this can affect people.)

Onto my response, which is all in the screenshots below.

ETA: I know the screenshots for my response are very jumbled right now and it’s difficult to read. I apologize to anyone who’s unable to fully read it! Because this is part one of this whole subject of fatphobia (I’m making a post about the boy wanting to become a radio host very soon), my response here will tie into that post. My response to that video is vastly the same, despite not making a comment on that video as of right now (the radio host one). 

I’ll be typing out my full response here. I apologize for weird formatting. Instagram wouldn’t let me break up my response into paragraphs. I’ll break them up into paragraphs here instead.

CC (Combination of the first, second, and third screenshots, aka, the first part of my response):

 I have a few questions before I get into my thoughts on this video. One, how the hell does your weight have any significance on your worth as a person, and if you do think this way, why would you think that? Two, do you know that fatphobia is a lot more than just judging a person for being fat? Three, why do you feel like you can speak for fat people like myself with this piss poor excuse for a video that I could barely get through the first thirty seconds of the first time? 

You can’t speak for any of us. I can’t speak for every fat person because not everyone has the same experiences as me. 

I’ve been bullied for my weight in real life as well as online. People have called me ugly just because of my weight. By the way, your weight doesn’t equal beauty, and that’s what I’m still learning. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. 

On quite a few occasions, I have actually thought about doing dangerous things to my body that I don’t feel comfortable going into here. All because I had people try to boil me down to my weight, call me ugly, and destroy whatever self-esteem I had left. You don’t know what fat people go through, so don’t act like you do. 

There are many factors that go into why a person may be fat, including medical conditions, mental illness, trauma, genetics, etc. All of those things are none of your business unless those people decide to be open about it. 

No, it’s not always healthy to be fat (obviously there are extremities on both sides of the spectrum of weight that are extremely unhealthy), but it doesn’t make a person any less of a human being. Fat people are human too. Quit treating us like we’re not. We deserve to be treated like everyone else who isn’t fat. I’m not saying put all fat people on a pedestal. I’m saying treat us like human beings.

CC (Combination of the fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh screenshots, aka, the second part of my response):

Remember how I said that fatphobia isn’t just about judging people for being fat? Well, there’s the “fat tax” on plus-size clothing (even though it maybe only costs a little bit more in fabric, if there’s any difference in making clothes for people who aren’t fat), limited styles for fat people in stores (making a lot of us have to buy fast fashion or have to spend a fortune on clothes that actually flatter us), not very many stores have inclusive sizes still (if you don’t at least carry max 5XL or a size 38/40 in pants size, you cannot call yourself inclusive), and a lot of other things.

Many fat people, myself included, are afraid to seek medical attention for anything (even checkups) because of doctors who only focus on our weight and not on what we came in to see them for. They write it off as if our weight is the sole cause of our problems, which isn’t always the case.

How about we talk about how expensive it is to eat healthy in a lot of places? Not everyone can afford to make fresh meals every day, let alone once a week. Maybe they were never taught how to due to their upbringing. You don’t know.

I’ve had people comment on my weight, what I’m eating (even if I’m eating something healthy like fruits and veggies), talk about my weight or diets EVEN WHILE I’M TRYING TO EAT, and it’s caused me to wait until I’m alone or around someone I trust to eat anything. As a result, I have a complicated relationship with food now.

Telling someone they’re fat doesn’t help them. They know that. They see themselves every day. People may want to change, but they either are afraid to ask for help, or they don’t know where to start. Some may not want to change. It’s up to them, honestly. If you want to help them lose weight, maybe suggest any physical activity they’d have fun doing and do them with them? I dance for fun. Also, you could help set up meal plans with them. 

If you’re not going to at least try to help them lose weight if you’re so concerned about them (this is all if they actually want to change things and don’t know where to start), I cannot say this in a sweeter way: shut your mouth and mind your own business. Because you’re just being a cunt at that point.

CC (eighth screenshot, aka, the third and final part to my response):

There are quite a few plus-size people in the entertainment industry as a whole who are/were very successful. Remember the late Chris Farley and Aretha Franklin? Chris Farley was big, but that didn’t change how great of an actor he was, how funny he was, or how much of an impact he made in the entertainment industry. Aretha Franklin was a plus-size black woman in the music industry, but she’s inspired SO MANY artists we have today! There are many plus-size men, women, and I believe even nonbinary people in the public eye in general. Like I’ve said, beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. That’s why the body positivity and body neutrality movements are a thing.

(I know I implied that I thought about sh here in my response, but please don't worry about me as far as that goes. I'm fine now. I would never go through with anything like that.)

In the last part of my response where I mentioned some plus-size people in the entertainment industry as well as the music industry (the late Chris Farley and the late Aretha Franklin), I was going to name more people, but my comments were getting too long. I'll name some more here off the top of my head:

Lizzo (rapper), the Piggy Dolls (the first K-Pop girl group made up of actual plus-size women), K*v*n Sp*c*y (I don't feel comfortable saying his name because he's a disgusting person, but he's another plus-size man...he was in King of Queens and in A LOT of movies), PSY, Greyson Gritt (a genderqueer person in the music industry), Elle King, Produce Pandas (the first music group in China full of plus-size men), Martha Wash, Chubby Checker, Fats Domino, Big Angel (a J-Pop group of all plus-size women), Chubbiness (another J-Pop group of all plus-size women), Pottya (another J-Pop group of all plus-size women)...there are so many that I found, but if you want to add more plus-size artists, plus-size actors, plus-size comedians/comediennes, feel free to add them in the comments!

Dhar Mann, you'll never know what plus-size people go through. You don't know what we go through. You have NO IDEA what we go through on a daily basis. Stop acting like you do. Because you don't, and you never will.

By the way, Dhar Mann, this will NOT be the last post I'll make about you or your videos. The more you make fucking deplorable, poorly written bullshit, the more posts I'll make! Teehee!

If you got this far, thank you so much. The next part of this is coming very soon. I'm sorry for not posting too many screenshots from the video. I wanted to fit in my response because it's important for people to see.

Have a good day/afternoon/night, y'all. Love you!

[purplesurveys]

1269

Last thing you bought online? Did you like it? OMG OMG so I got Angela an Army Bomb!!!!!! for her birthday!!!! It was HELLLL looking for sealed ones that were already onhand, but fortunately I was able to find one from this really nice seller a few days ago and the shipping was quick as well. I’m just a little worried because the outbox has a little dent on it :( but it was the best onhand offer I could find so I got it before anybody could call dibs. I still hope she likes it! I got her batteries too so that she can try lighting it up as soon as she has it. :D

Could you date someone who didn’t drive (and didn’t show an interest in ever getting their license, either)?  I feel like this is such a petty thing to make a big deal about...if they knew how to commute or any other way to get to their destination, I don’t think this should be a problem. It would only be an issue to me if they refused to get a license in a very I-generally-lack-ambition kind of way.

How would you react if your artwork became famous?  I don’t have any to show off to begin with. I love appreciating art, but creating it was never a forte of mine.

Would you get your nipples pierced?  No, I don’t plan on getting any piercings. How many people know your birthday?  Outside of my family, my best friends. I think everyone else relies on Facebook to be reminded, which is fine with me.

Has anyone ever tried to ruin a relationship you were in?  No. Quite the contrary, really...I was sometimes informed about red flags taking place, which of course my stubborn ass ignored.

Have you ever watched a whole hour long infomercial?  Probably, as a kid. The channel from which I used to watch WWE aired these really long infomercials so I would watch those while waiting for like Raw or whatever show was going on after.

What is your current MySpace song?  I never hung out on Myspace. I had an account, but I was too young for it so it wasn’t long before I got bored.

What is your favorite kind of meat to put on your sandwich?  Pulled pork or fried chicken.

Which one of your exes do you feel like you have the most chemistry with?  I only have one ex.

How do you feel about people who make Facebook profiles for their pets? I find it really cute. But I personally wouldn’t put in as much effort lol.

Have you ever personally known a pair of conjoined twins?  Hmmmmmmmm I don’t think so.

What was the most disturbing thing you have ever heard your mother say? She threatened suicide in front of me and my dad in a very calm way when I was around 11, I think? Maybe 12, idk. I haven’t actually thought about that moment in an extremely long time until this question. I’ll move on now and shove the memory at the very very back of my head before I get sad.

Is there something in particular you like to look at photos of? What is it?  Aside from members of BTS (lol), interior design inspirations.

Chewy chocolate-chip cookies: like or dislike?  Ooh, love. When I bite into a cookie it hassssss to ooze chocolate, otherwise I would be underwhelmed.

If your boyfriend/girlfriend wanted to dress only in the opposite sex’s clothing, would you support that? If not, would you leave them?  Support.

Do you think your grandmother is/was beautiful?  They both are.

Which of your fields of interest are you a total expert on?  Anything that has to do with writing (except poems), I guess? I like being able to give people advice and tips when it comes to that.

When was the last time you got all dolled up?  Last July when we had a big PR media launch thingy and I couldn’t afford to look like shit on Zoom.

Do you ever name objects? (i.e. mp3 players, guitars, cars, etc.)  Never.

Do you have a criminal record?  Not criminal but it’s possibleeeee that I have some kind of record on my license from the time I got stopped by an officer in Alabang, lmao. It was a minor offense from a tiny part of the town so I don’t actually know if they filed it, but it’s possible.

Last person you took a nap with?  I don’t really nap with other people. I hate falling asleep in front of others to begin with.

Does seeing your mother cry automatically make you feel sad as well?  No.

Do you think someone likes the same person you like?  I don’t like anybody.

Do you want your life to stay the way it is right now forever?  No, I do not want to stay in a pandemic and not get to maximize my life the way it’s supposed to be enjoyed forever.

Have you ever been to craigslist.com?  I’ve never checked it out; idk if we have that here?

What about eBay?  I also dunno if they operate here so no, I’ve never bothered.

Have you ever used Nair?  Not Nair, but I’ve used Veet before.

Are you medicated?  Nope.

Do you shape/fill in your eyebrows?  I never do stuff to my eyebrows except shave them.

Have you ever stolen/borrowed clothes from an ex?  Several articles of clothing were left behind here, yeah. I never had the chance to give them back because I stupidly thought we were going to get back together eventually. By the time I moved on the timing was already off, so the clothes stayed with me untillll...just a few days ago, actually – when I finally cleaned up my room and got rid of a bunch of knickknacks that accumulated here over the years, including all her shirts and sweaters and stuff.

Could you make a statement about anything political?  The 2022 presidential election landscape looks like complete shit and I’m nearly at that point where I want to stop giving a fuck about this country’s future.

Do you think you’ve already met your soulmate?  No.

Do you get the feeling something good will happen in your life soon?  I think I’m already living in it, haha.

Do you enjoy romantic movies, even when they’re cliche?  Sure, but cliché is also hit and miss for me. I love Titanic and Love Actually, but I cannot stand movies like Me Before You and The Notebook. I guess it depends on certain executions, like the acting, screenplay, casting, etc.

Have you been to McDonald’s in the past month?  No, not inside. We did drive-thru within the last month, though.

Have you ever slept over at your best friend’s house?  Not at Andi’s, but I have at Angela’s.

How often do you go bowling?  Extremely rarely. I can’t tell you the last time I went bowling.

Last time you were in an apartment?  Like 2007 when I visited my aunt back when she still lived in one. None of my friends have their own apartments.

Have you ever seen a live seahorse?  I don’t think so.

Would you like to have your own yacht? I mean I wouldn't say no if you offered it to me for free, but I'm not exactly interested in one. < Same.

Winnie the Pooh or Tigger?  Tigger always made me laugh as a kid.

What’s the unhealthiest thing you’ve eaten today?  Luncheon meat, I think? I didn’t go overboard with the junk food today.

Has a stranger ever offered to buy you a drink?  Hm, not that I can recall.

What is something you’d be happy to receive as a gift, that doesn’t cost a lot?  A bag of the salted egg chips that I really like costs like 30 bucks, or roughly 60 US cents.

What kind of music does your significant other/crush like to listen to?  I don’t have any irl crushes, can I use a celebrity crush instead? HAHA he’s heavily into jazz and whenever he gets asked for music recos he always gives jazz artists from like the 50s and 60s.

Who did you have your first kiss with? Do you remember what colour his/her eyes were?  Gab. Dark brown.

Are there any themes from TV shows that you like to sing along to? The Big Bang Theory and Friends; and then I also liked humming to the themes of Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, and BoJack Horseman. The Phineas & Ferb theme was also a lot of fun to sing along to.

Do you eat dessert after dinner? No, I never do that. I’m usually already full after dinner, and we don’t always have sweets at home anyway.

Have you ever had too much to drink and felt embarrassed about your behavior the next day?  Sure.

When you go out drinking, what do you prefer to drink?  Cocktails. I very rarely go for hard drinks/shots, especially if I brought my own car.

What was the last animal that you saw?  Dog.

What was the last thing that you said to one of your siblings?  I just told my sister I was done using her laptop so she can have it back. My Memories of 2020 DVD turned out to be region-locked so I have to use her laptop every time I want to watch it :(

What is the most expensive thing that you’ve purchased that you paid for:  My Map of the Soul photobook cost me around 5k in total.

What is your favorite messaging program?  Messenger.

Do you eat fast food more than 5 times a week?  Wow no. Aside from being extremely unhealthy, that’s also a LOT of spending??

Have you ever almost drowned?  Yes.

Have you ever learned something shocking about someone through Facebook?  I mean I’ve had to learn about more than one family death through my Facebook feed, which sucks but is nothing I have control over. Otherwise the most shocking thing I’ve seen is probably classmates from high school having their own kids, but at this point I’m used to it already.

What’s the scariest living animal that you’ve petted?  I’m not really afraid of carrying/petting animals especially if there’s a guide or expert nearby, but the most daring one was probably the crocodile I volunteered to hold in Palawan.

Do you remember the first conversation you ever had with the person you currently have feelings for?  Not at all.

Do you dread certain days of the week? If yes, what day/s and why?  I hate Mondays for obvious reasons lol. I don’t know anyone who is actively cheery about reporting back to work.

If you eat oatmeal, do you have it plain or do you have certain toppings that you like to add to it?  I never eat oatmeal. I had that every single day for breakfast from like kindergarten to 4th grade and I vowed never to take a spoonful of it again.

What is the funniest or strangest thing you’ve ever heard somebody say in their sleep?  I dunno. I used to keep a log of the things my ex used to say in her sleep and a great deal of them were hilarious, but obviously I deleted that note a long time ago.

Choose one - Butterfinger, Milky Way, Snickers:  Butterfinger.

Do you use Mozilla Firefox? Nopes.

Who is your favorite person to hug? Angela and Laurice.

Have you ever had to have a mug shot?  Nope.

What was the last thing you carried to your room?  Kimi.

When was the last time you had a late night phone call?  WELL over a year ago.

[nexttrickanvils]

Beware of Karen Ch. 2

Sorry this took so long, had other priorities but here is the long awaited chapter 2 of Beware of Karen.

Summary: After Guybrush and Stan fail to deal with the latter’s ex-wife, Elaine decides to throw her hat into the ring. It goes about as well as you expect. ---------

Elaine hummed to herself as she set the table. While Guybrush was admittedly the better cook of the two, she still wanted to surprise her Pikaroni with a nice romantic dinner. Preferably without a certain plaid wearing charlatan joining them.

While Elaine had nothing against Stan… well okay maybe she had a lot against Stan… but that wasn’t the point, she’d prefer if he hadn’t attempted to drag her and Guybrush in an ex-lover’s quarrel of all things.

But she trusted Guybrush’s wit and uncanny ability to find absurd but simple solutions to absurd problems.

Before long, she could hear footsteps on the deck, she quickly lit the candles and plated the food.

“Welcome back, sugarboots! I hope you’re...”

The door opened and in came Guybrush… and Stan.

“Hey honey! Ooh are those potstickers I smell?”

“...Guybrush… I thought you were going to help Stan with his ex-wife and thus he would not bother us.” Elaine said, gritting her teeth

Guybrush, to his credit, looked apologetic.

“Well I did try, I honestly did but well… let’s just say Stan wasn’t exaggerating about how awful Karen is. So I guess Stan will be staying with us until Karen leaves.”

Elaine groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose. Guybrush sighed and placed his hands on her shoulders.

“I know, I was really excited for all the quality time too but Elaine, you have no idea just how evil this woman is. I couldn’t just leave Stan to fend for himself against her, I’m a pirate not a monster!”

“...Really? And please do tell me, what makes her so terrible that Stan has to go in hiding with us?” Elaine asked, clearly unconvinced

“Well first: I could barely breathe around her stall, the perfume she was selling was that thick! She was also really pushy with the sales pitch like waaaaay worse than Stan. She also kept making all these mean comments about me being a terrible husband and how our marriage would fall apart if I didn’t buy her stuff. And she threatened to call the island authorities on Stan if he even thought of setting up shop near her! And he didn’t even do anything!”

Elaine raised an eyebrow, “Hm, I admit she does actually sound awful. But being pushy and rude are hardly the crimes of the century, sweetie.”

“Oh it goes beyond “pushy and rude.”” remarked Stan, mouth full of potstickers

“Karen thrives on “the hunt.” All she cares about is her next sale!"

"...Sounds like you." Elaine and Guybrush both remarked

"Oh no no no, my friends. I admit that Ol' Stan here may have exaggerated or cut some corners here and there. But hey sometimes that's what you gotta do when your clientele are a buncha rowdy swashbucklers!"

Stan continued, while grabbing another pot sticker, "Karen on the other hand… she has no respect for the art of sales, it's all a means to an end for her. And if anyone gets in the way of that precious end sale even if it’s only in her mind, she will destroy you! By the way, these are amazing, you could make a killing selling these.”

Once again, Elaine found herself not entirely convinced.  Stan stuffing himself with the food she made for herself and Guybrush didn’t help his case. But he also couldn’t really be considered a reliable narrator. And Guybrush, her dear Threepy, the love of her life… well he was quite prone to exaggeration.

Elaine sighed, well she wouldn’t be where she was now if she just sat and complained about a bad situation.

“Perhaps… I should speak to her…”

“NO!” Shouted both Guybrush and Stan

She just gave them a confident smile, “Oh don’t worry about me. I’m sure if I went without Stan, she won’t be as volatile. And besides, all my years as governor has given me quite the experience of negotiating with stubborn egotistic business owners. You remember that incident at the O'Malley's Galley last year, don’t you dear?”

Guybrush let out a small laugh and a blush, obviously remembering how Elaine dealt with the restaurant's owner after the man refused Guybrush's request to not serve the food on porcelain plates.

Elaine kissed Guybrush on the cheek, "I'll be fine dear. You just relax and I'll come back with the good news."

Then she looked over at Stan, "...And I suppose you just do what you can to entertain yourself."

And with that, Elaine made her way off the boat and into town. As she made her way, she kept rehearsing in her head how she'd calmly confront Karen.

However when Elaine arrived and started asking the other merchants about Karen, a feeling of dread began to form.

They were all smiles and sales until Elaine explained who she was looking for. They all suddenly dropped their grins and immediately apologized to Elaine for "wasting her time."

The most concerning interaction was from one merchant who told Elaine where Karen was then immediately begged her to not tell Karen that the two of them spoke.

Before long, Elaine found the woman of the hour making a sale.

"Trust me, dearie, this color and this scent are perfect for you! You'll be catching everyone's eye in no time!"

The female pirate grinned as she paid for her goods.

"Just remember, no refunds on used products."

"Yeah yeah yeah. Look out, Single's Night, Mama's coming!"

Elaine stepped aside to let the lady walk by then she took a deep breath and steeled herself.

"Excuse me? Are you Karen?"

"Hm?"

Elaine felt a shiver down her spine when Karen smiled at her.

“Well hello there, my dear! Whatever you need, I’ve got it.”

“Actually I’m not here to shop. You met my husband earlier? Guybrush Threepwood?”

“Ohhh! So he gave you the free sample? I knew you couldn’t resist! A woman of your taste would know fine class when you see it.”

Karen chuckled as she immediately looked through her inventory while Elaine was already finding her patience tested.

“Please just listen to me. I understand that your relationship with your ex-husband is… strained but it’s gotten to the point where he’s hiding on my and my husband’s ship trying to get away from you.”

“Hmph, Stan, being an absolute freeloader? You don’t say. Anyway…!”

To Elaine’s surprise, Karen grabbed her face.

“H-hey!”

“Hm, you look like a spring or autumn to me.”

Elaine quickly pushed her off though if that bothered Karen, she didn’t show it and went straight back to her sales pitch.

“Now your face is rather pale, you look like a ghost, dearie! Oh and you need to ditch that bandana, it clashes with your hair."

"Would you just LISTEN to me! I am not here to buy anything! Or to get make-up advice. Or whatever you think I'm here for! I need for you and Stan to reconcile whatever is going on with you two so my husband and I can be alone!"

With that, Karen just laughed.

"Oh you poor innocent sucker. There is no reconciling with that selfish mess of a man. But that's marriage for you, the minute the wifey has a problem, she's suddenly a nagging witch, am I right?"

Elaine's patience was growing thinner and thinner as she crossed her arms and glared at Karen.

"Fine. You two just can't get along, just fine. But at the very least just let Stan be. My husband and I have been looking forward to a nice romantic vacation and we can't exactly do that with Stan around.

Karen smirked and Elaine once again felt an icy chill.

"Oh really? And what do you think your "dear" husband and Stan are doing while they sent you to do their dirty work?"

"I volunteered…"

Karen continued, ignoring Elaine's correction, "They're probably just lazing about on the deck, pigging out on junk and guzzling grog. I was one of the lucky ones. I realized what a scam the whole marriage thing is and got out of there. I've still got my divorce lawyer's card, you know, when you realize that you don't need to settle with that blonde idiot."

Karen pulled out a card and placed it into Elaine's pocket. Without hesitation, Elaine grabbed Karen's wrist with an iron grip.

"HEY!!!"

“Now listen here, you can insult me all you want but my husband is a good man. He may have his moments but that goes for anyone. Do you know what we've faced off against together? Some of the fiercest pirates on the Seven Seas including the undead monster LeChuck. A real estate developer with delusions of grandeur who had the power to make mice out of men. A mad scientist obsessed with eternal life! Guybrush even conquered DEATH! And through all that, Guybrush has always been respectful, caring, and loving!”

Elaine let go of Karen's wrist but kept her steely glare on her.

"My husband may not be perfect but I cannot see myself with anyone else. Now I believe our business is done here."

Karen rubbed her wrist as she gave Elaine her own glare.

"Hmph, I suppose it is. But I am a forgiving sort. I'd be happy to help you once you figure things out."

Refusing to dignify Karen's response, Elaine simply turned around and walked away.

As Elaine stepped out of the marketplace, a shrill scream filled the air.

She looked toward the noise and saw the female pirate from earlier desperately trying to shake off two monkeys climbing all over her.

Elaine quickly came to the woman's rescue, shooing the monkeys away from her, giving the other pirate enough time… to dunk her head in the nearby fountain.

Whatever that did, it seemed to cause the monkeys to lose interest and run off.

"Oh thank Blackbeard's frilly underthings."

"Are… you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah I will be."

"What in the world even happened?"

"Oh I'll tell ye what happened! I went to the bar to get ready for Single's Night and put on somea that goop that fast-talking she-devil sold me. Next thing I knew, the bar's monkey mascots were all over me."

"...And you're certain that it was the make-up that caused this?"

"DO I LOOK LIKE SOMEONE A MONKEY'D BE ATTRACTED TO TO YA!? They left me alone just fine then I put on that damn perfume and other stuff and they went crazy! "You'll be catching everyone's eyes in no time" apparently that includes mangy beasts!"

The other pirate stood up and emptied her bag of Karen's products. She then walked away, grumbling about her wasted money and time.

Maybe it was Guybrush's influence but Elaine couldn't help but pick up a couple of the fallen cosmetics.

Eventually Elaine made her way back to the Screaming Narwhal. Guybrush and Stan were on the deck though unlike Karen's prediction, Guybrush was practicing his banjo playing while Stan just read a book.

Guybrush immediately noticed Elaine walking onto the deck and smiled. At least Elaine had that.

"Plunderbunny! So um… how did it go?"

"...I apologize, you were both right. She's the absolute worst, how do we get rid of her?"

[littlemissvincentvega]

Um hi!!💌It’s my birthday in a couple of days so uhhh could you do some hc about dogs and like their gifts/how do you spend that day/and some shit like that

omg happy birthday baby!!! (it’s probably already passed KLSDJDKLASJ so im sorry about that but still i hope you had a wonderful day💕)

i hope you like this anyway!!! this was so fun to write and imagine omg, and for once the mr orange segment is my favourite. it’s weird i’m usually really insecure about writing for him but his section was so fun to doooooo

enjoy! 💖💖

mr. brown:

he’ll take you to a little restaurant, probably a family-owned one. it’s small but very charming

PAYS!!!! FOR YOUR!!!!!!!!! MEAL

beforehand, though, he drives to your place to pick you up, and when you open the front door to greet him he has a pretty bouquet of flowers for u :’)

maybe you go to an arcade????? maybe

after the meal, he takes you to a drive-in movie theatre and probably whips out a blanket for you to cuddle under

you guys share popcorn & other snacks and have a super duper lovely time there under the stars 🥺

his gifts to you; a pretty little necklace, a graphic tee with your favourite movie’s poster on the front, a record he thinks you might enjoy, a card full of his dumb ramblings on how much he likes you (+ ’i hope you have an amazing birthday!’)

mr. blonde:

he strikes me as the kind to like really spoil you on your birthday in the sense that he’ll take you to a really fancy/expensive restaurant

but he doesn’t tell you which one it is, he just tells you to get real dolled up (not that u need to be told twice)

even though it’s a fancy restaurant you two definitely go overboard on the champagne and catch a serious case of the giggles, earning disapproving looks from the regulars

you probably get politely asked to leave

vic gets the cheque and you two stumble back to his chevy, laughing at every little stupid thing. you know like when you’re drunk and everything is funny

anyways you sit in his car, roof down, cuddling under the stars, just talking about any old shit. he’s trying to sober up for the drive home (don’t drink and drive ok!!!!) and, after a few minutes of comfortable silence, he steps out of the car to go fetch your gifts from the trunk. i imagine he presents them to you pretty suavely but that goes w/o saying

his gifts to you; a promise ring(?), a card with something meaningful scrawled in it along w/ a fair number of twenty dollar bills, a bottle of wine he knows you like

mr. white:

i know it’s kind of expected that he’d take you to a fancy restaurant and blah blah but i actually think he’d pull a few strings with joe and have a local movie theatre show your absolute favourite film. only you & him are allowed in, and the drinks/snacks are on the house (joe knows the folks who run it)

so it’s super special, and he’s organised it all for you :)

you don’t fill up on too many snacks, though, as he mentioned going to get pie afterwards (if you know you know), which sounded perfect!!

so you do just that. he drives you both there, a short but romantic journey. it’s pretty late, so the stars are out and the air is cool but not cold. just right

you share a pie which is cute but once you’re stuffed, he presents you with your gifts!! he’s brought them into the pie shop in a bag so he can watch you unwrap them and see your face light up

his gifts to you; an elegant, rather expensive necklace (he carefully puts it on for you), a card with lots of reminiscent & kind words in (he basically rambles about the times you’ve spent together and how much he thinks of you), a framed photo of the two of you, a bottle of your favourite alcohol

mr. orange:

i feel like orange would take you on a ride along the coast, the whole california/wind blowing through your hair/sunglasses on/music blaring/stealing kisses at stop lights vibes

you make pit stops for food (fries, burgers, ice cream, just junk food basically) and park where you can see the ocean and people-watch

at some point you’ll go to the beach together, maybe on a walk but you’ll definitely at least have a paddle in the sea. he’ll want to have a swim though

he 100% makes a joke about you two skinny-dipping

running along the shore, shoving each other and laughing, him giving you piggybacks, drawing things in the sand with your toes/fingers

you crash at his place, all sandy and happy. you want to take a shower as soon as you get there, but he makes you wait on the couch first and brings you your gifts :)

his gifts to you; a really ugly Hawaiian shirt (he has the same one, it’s an inside joke between you two how much you hate it), some of your favourite snacks, a beaded surfer-esque bracelet from one of those shitty coastal gift shops, a card with a polaroid selfie of you two on your first date in it along w/ some sweet but sarcastic words in (he likes to annoy you he’s That Kind Of Boyf)

mr. pink:

honestly this guy isn’t the most openly romantic one of the group i think we all know that, so he probably invites you over to his for takeout. charming i know

but he lets you decide what you want, where from, and when you want it without complaining!!! i mean maybe he complains at least once but that’s good for him. (”indian? it’s your birthday and you wanna order fuckin’ indian food? i mean, you decide, but i’m tellin’ ya i don’t wanna go to bed with fuckin’ curry breath”)

it’s a pretty chill evening really. after you finish your food, he tells you to sort out what video you wanna watch on the tv. so while you’re scouring through his (shitty) collection, he slopes off to the kitchen to light the candles on your cake, probably burning his finger in the process (you just hear a ‘FUCK!’ but that’s not uncommon for him to say, as we’re all aware of)

he absolutely does not sing happy birthday but he’s gone to the trouble to buy you a cake, candles, and the other gifts so you better be fuckin grateful (his thoughts not mine)

so he presents you the cake-- “right, don’t tell me your fuckin’ wish, or it won’t come true” before you can even open your mouth. but his features are soft when he says this so you know he’s just being semi-douchey

i feel like he wouldn’t be one to go overboard with gifts but he does actually put thought into them

his gifts to you; a bouquet of your favourite flowers, a watch you saw in a jewellery shop window you said was very beautiful, a card with few words but a sweet front cover

[ivedonestranger]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Teen Titans (Animated Series) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Jinx/Raven (DCU) Characters: Raven (DCU), Jinx (DCU), Gizmo (DCU), Baran Flinders Additional Tags: Fluff, Light Bondage, I Will Go Down With This Ship Summary:

Raven's plan to grab some coffee goes awry when she winds up kidnapped and a certain someone has questions!

---

Raven stared in disbelief and the predicament that she was in and how easily she had fallen for it. All she wanted to do was grab a coffee at the Queen Coffee in downtown Jump City, then wound up being snuck up on, grabbed with a bag over her head and carted off to parts unknown. Worse part was these...stupid...cuffs!

The mystic Titan growled to herself as she heaved all her strength against the delicate cuffs emblazoned with runes that were fastened around her wrists. Of course, there was no breaking demon bracelets, but it felt good to release the anger.

Having only dressed in baggy pants and a gray hoodie, most people would not have recognized her except maybe for her violet hair cut in a short bob. She tried to reach for her pocket on one side to get her communicator but realized they had lifted that from her too.

'This is humiliating,' she groused to herself as she looked about the room again.

It was some sort of basement with stuff stacked all about covered with dusts from years of abandonment. It actually looked familiar. It was at that moment the light bulb came on. She knew exactly where she was.

As if there was some sort of cue, the metal door banged open peeling it's metal sound through the room and in strode one confident, pink haired troublemaker.

"Jinx."

The grin of the Pinkette's face grew wider as her cat like-eyes focused on her prey in the middle of the room. She wore her usual black dress, choker, and trademark leggings. The purple and black stripes climbing up some rather gorgeous legs before disappearing underneath the skirt.

"Seriously, I can't believe you let me capture you so easily. I mean, I really didn't have to cast any power to obscure myself. You were so focused on that coffee...or was it that absolutely stunning brunette that was serving it to you."

Raven's gray cheeks flushed ever so slightly and Jinx giggled. "You were! I can't believe you. Raven of the Teen Titans, checking out the ladies!"

"I can't believe you're doing this now," Raven said, turning her body to keep the pernicious witch in view.

"Surprise." The words came with a giggle.

Raven held up her bound wrists. "So now what? Are you going to demand the true identities of my friends? The access codes to the towers?"

"Oh," Jinx said with another giggle. "I have some more important questions for you. Sit."

The word was simple and Raven wanted to ignore it, she felt the uncontrollable pressure to obey as the cuffs forced her to obey their owners. Raven went to her knees before she could even try to will herself to stay standing.

"Didn't think you were one for torture," Raven said dryly.

"You know me. Full of surprises. As you can see, I got some little demon bracelets from the black market and was desperate to try them. Aren't they nifty?"

"They're swell," Raven intoned with little interest.

"Awww, you don't like them? I bet you'll like them. They can compel you to do whatever I want and to tell me whatever I want."

"Sure. Whatever."

Deep inside Raven was not happy that she had been placed in such a position but honestly, she knew it could be much worse.

"Oh? Okay. Let's try them out. Is the Titans Tower undergoing upgrades next week?"

"Yes." The words escaped before she could even stop herself.

"Gizmo will be happy to hear that. He's been wanting to try some new firmware that he's written."

Raven narrowed her eyes.

"I don't like this, Jinx."

"Good point," Jinx said with a nod. "You're not a fan of talking about others. Let's talk about you then."

'Oh, no.'

"Have you read any of those erotica books I sent you?"

Raven squirmed trying to keep the words in but her body refused to obey.

"Yes."

"Oh ho! So you do like them."

"Yes." Damn it!

"What did you think of that scene in the book Hallowed Ground when the young groundskeeper sneaks the preacher's daughter away? Hot, wasn't it?"

"Fine. Yes. It was a rather...interesting scene."

The pressure let up since she wasn't resisting. Raven had already admitted it so why keep fighting?

"So….what else can I ask you? Hmmmm." Jinx stood again and began to pace.

"What do you think of my outfit?" Jinx asked, giving a small spin.

"It is very cute," Raven said letting her mouth talk. It was a safe question but they kept coming. "It accents your figure nicely."

"Awww, you say the nicest things, Rae Rae!"

"Don't call me that! I hate it when Beast Boy does."

The pinkette's eyes glimmered and she giggled.

"Then what is your favorite nickname?"

Oh, azar did Raven squirm trying to keep the words from escaping but no matter how hard she tried they came out in a gasp. "Lollipop."

Jinx plopped down in front of her with a squeal of triumph.

"Well, what do you know. You do have a favorite pet name."

Raven glared at her.

"Do you think I'm hot?"

"Yes."

"You like sex?"

"Yes."

"What's your favorite position?"

"Missionary."

"Aww. Really? I would have thought you were more adventurous. You like my legs?"

Raven's voice faltered slightly but the words still came out.

"Yes."

"Do you...like...wanna know if I'm wearing panties?"

"Y...ye..yes."

Jinx leaned very closely and the smell of her blueberry perfume filled her nostrils. Raven felt her breath starting to catch in her throat and her eyes focused on the kissable lips in front of her. The pinkette's voice was low, sultry and only for her to hear.

"I'm not wearing any."

Raven tried to swallow but found that task somehow difficult. Jinx ran her fingers up Raven's arm leaving a trail of tingles the entire way.

"Come on, Jinx," Raven allowed a whine to escape.

"Kiss me."

The order vibrated through her cuffs and Raven found herself leaning in and planting her own mouth against the one who had kept her prisoner. Oh, god she tasted too good and there was nothing the mystic Titan could do to stop herself.

Jinx leaned forward pushing Raven over on to her back without any resistance, her dress bunching up around her waist. Raven felt the desperate urge to try and get her hands free but Jinx had them pinned to her chest.

"Oh, I have plans for you, Lollipop."

A pitiful whimper was all that escape from Raven as she was again smothered by Jinx's lips. It was at that moment that the metal door clanged open and both snapped their heads to look.

Gizmo strode in with Mammoth right behind with the dwarf studying his computer.

"Jinx, I'm gonna need to head into town and get some more computer parts. If we're going to get the connection working we're going to-"

He stopped as she looked up seeing the two tangled on the floor.

"What are you-Oh, god, cover yourself, Jinx."

Jinx sat up quickly pulling her dress back down with a big grin on her face and touch of red in her cheeks. Raven still lay on her back trying to breath and looking confused, angry, and horny all at the same time.

"Really?" Gizmo griped, throwing his hands up in the air. "Is that why you had Mumbo buy them? Can't you like mess around with your girlfriend at the tower? I really hate when you do these roleplays. Poor Mammoth and I always have to stumble in on them."

"I don't mind." Mammoth grinned.

"Pervert," Jinx shot back with a laugh.

Gizmo rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. I'm gonna leave if you're gonna be using the storeroom. For crying out loud, that's what bedrooms are for."

Gizmo turned to leave and then back to Raven.

"You need me to call Robin and let him know you're here? I'd hate for him to start worrying like last time."

"If you don't mind," Raven said with a bemused expression trying to ignore the fact that she was still on her back and Jinx was half on top of her.

"Fine. Mammoth, go find something to do. Maybe Beast Boy wants to do some training. If I'm gonna help Cyborg upgrade the tower, I need to not have you two fucking in random places in the base. Got it?"

"No promises," Jinx said.

With an exasperated noise, Gizmo left with both Mammoth and Jinx exchanging a wink and thumbs up.

When the door clanged closed, Jinx turned back to her girlfriend who was smiling.

"Well, that was kind of embarrassing?"

"Kind of?" Raven asked sitting up. "I'm not the one that had my ass on display."

"Pfft," Jinx said. "They've caught me doing worse."

Jinx broke into one of her grins again. "So, you do like the nickname I gave you?"

"I'm not going to dignify that with an answer."

"I can make you."

Jinx reached down to grab the bracelets but to her surprise, they were not on Raven's wrists. They were actually on her own. Shock reverberated through the pinkette at the sudden reversal.

"How did-"

"They aren't demon bracelets," Raven said with a grin. "I realized it when you came closer and I didn't have the connection with you they normally would have. Easy to override after that."

"Shit, Mumbo sold me junk?"

"Nope. They're compulsion bracelets. Meaning they don't just work on me…"

Jinx's eyes went wide. "Oh, no."

"Oh, yes. You have some penance to perform. I mean, I got my nickname for a reason."

Jinx giggled.

----

if you like the story, consider leaving a review on your favorite fanfic site? 

AO3: https://www.archiveofourown.org/works/27664540

FF.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13751657/1/Just-a-Few-Questions

[pastelninjaimagines]

hi hi!!! how do you feel about road trip with sasuke headcanons or imagine? feel free to add anyone you'd like ofc!! i just absolutely love your take on sasuke, one of the few that actually feel right to me haha. have a nice day!!!!! ♡

Road trip HCs

Since you were cool with me picking some other characters to do such a cute ask for, I picked some faves that i thought would be 10/10 for a road trip…also i’m glad you like my sasuke hot takes lmao…also also these were so fun and enjoyable to write that if y'all want actual imagines with these (or other characters) pls hmu - mod tina

Sasuke

It’s either his way or the highway..so be prepared. Has a map with pre picked locations circled on there for you guys to hit, but he’ll leave the route that you take a little looser. He wants structure, but’ll go with the flow to an extent. Not every single second has to be planned, but he wants direction for the trip. 

The car is pretty lightly packed, he doesn’t wanna fuss with carrying too much unnecessary junk. If either of you need anything along the way, he’d rather just buy things as needed. For him, carrying too many things is constricting, and he’d rather feel uninhibited by baggage. He’s also weird about the music. He prefers the radio, but hates commercials so he’ll channel surf until he finds something he likes. Why he doesn’t just make a cd (or aux his phone) you don’t know but he refuses to do so. He’ll say “trying to get the local flavor” and yet settle on the station that’s playing whatever’s popular at the time bc he can’t find anything else with a clear signal

Would definitely rather stick to seeing cities and landmarks for your stops along the way. He really doesn’t wanna get sidetracked with seeing smaller tourist trap attractions or going somewhere that’s way off the beaten path. Reason being is he’s made a sort of imaginary time table for you trip and even though he’s not stated that aloud, he wants to stick to his schedule 

Deidara

He’d be a literal blast to go on a road trip with (pun slightly intended). Deidara is full of energy and excitement and is super enthusiastic about having a good time. He’s a little bit all over the place, one minute wanting to drive all day, but then pulling off to see something either on the roadside, or off on an exit bc he saw a sign that piqued his interest. 

Definitely wants to hit more of the trendy/artsy spots on the road trip, picking a lot of big cities to get inspiration for his art, and just a genuine interest in seeing the sights. Though, he doesn’t wanna rush to get anywhere, he wants to take his time and go with the flow. Spontaneity is his middle name. so whatever you wanna do on the trip is cool with him too. 

80’s rock will be blasting the entire time. So I hope you like his collection of cds bc he’s not listening to the radio. He might let you play a few of your cds if he’s feeling generous. The car’s a mess with things. He wasn’t too organized with packing so he has to buy a lot of things on the way, and what he brought he slowly realizes he didn’t even need. Why he brought snow boots and ski pants for a summer road trip he doesn’t know. Can’t recall what he’d been thinking when he made that call. Also his art supplies literally take up the entire trunk so you better compartmentalize your belongings. Occasionally he’ll get in moods where he’s gotta clear out all the junk (aka all the food wrappers and take out bags) but that impulse is as sporadic as all his other ones. Deidara’s a lot of fun on a road trip but he’s pretty messy and very sporadic so if you’re cool with those things then he’s the partner for you. (Plus he goes on art rants - you’ve been warned) 

Dabi

Dabi just wants to get lost. You pick a direction, he drives. Literally doesn’t care where you guys go. You wanna hit all 50 states? Go coast to coast? Never come back? Aight he’s got you fam. Though he insists that you pick where you guys go, he’s got amazing intuition. If you don’t prompt him, he’ll find the most amazing spots. Absolutely down to go off-road and end up in some beautiful and breathtaking part of nature. And he’s down to get out of the car and go exploring. 

Likes to pull off to the side of the road at night, get on the roof of the car with you (if the night’s warm and clear) and just gaze up at the stars. Being in the middle of nowhere means you’ve got an amazing view of them. 

Dabi, like Sasuke, barely packs anything for the trip. He’s already very spartan with his belongings, so this isn’t a surprise to you that he says if he needs anything he’ll pick it up along the way. You guys happen to go thrifting and antiquing a lot on your various spots so this is where he gets most of his extra clothes and things. Sometimes, he’ll even get kitschy nicknacks from small town souvenir stores that give you both a good laugh. 

On the road, he’s quiet most of the time, he’ll leave the talking up to you while he’s driving. He’ll occasionally sing to the music he plays which is a combination of rap and classic rock. He’s not a radio hog and let’s you play your favorites as long as you both know to take turns. On a few occasions you’ve caught him singing along to your more pop-y selections. Dabi’s much more talkative when you guys pull off (either at one of your talked about destination spots or some random spontaneous stops) and loves cracking his famed dry sarcastic comments at everything. At night you guys’ll sometimes talk about deeper things, but the only time he’ll really open up is if you guys stop and drink (or grab a bottle and bring it back to the car/the room if you’re staying at a motel). Other than that, he’s pretty quiet, only speaking when he deems necessary 

Mista

Mista is the perfect combination of fun and chill for a road trip. Anywhere you wanna go, he’ll take you, as long as you’re good with the stops he picks out too. You’re the navigator though, you gotta tell him where to go otherwise he might end up getting you guys lost, but if he does, you’ll have an amazing time in a place you’d never thought you’d be because he knows how to make anything a good time. He’ll be talking your ear off with his random facts, commentary and constant cracking of jokes that happen to pop in his head. If he’s not blabbering his mouth, you’re both singing to the music that’s on blast and shaking the car. Mista made the world’s longest mixtape that combined both his faves and your faves so everyone’s happy and singing along (peeping Mista sing his head off to Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac while speeding down the empty highway - it’s a real image) 

Loves the idea of taking polaroid pictures at each place you stop at. The glove compartment is littered with the polaroids you take. If it’s not one of “official stop pictures” it’s a bunch of candids, the ridiculous faces you guys make or of pretty scenery. Mista’s actually got quite a photographer’s finesse in him so the pictures he takes are actually really good and you’d almost consider them artsy. Like Dabi, this boy be buying all the small town souvenirs and be decked out in t-shirts, wrist bands, caps from all the little towns that no one’s ever heard of. He be reping that merch like the tackily fashionable mf he is and still makes it all look good

He’s a creature of comfort so he prefers pulling up to a motel to rest at night instead of sleeping in the cramped car, but sometimes, if you guys are just dead tired he’ll throw everything in the trunk so you can both make a nice comfortable nest with the back seats down and curl up. 

[spidercakes]

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

Warnings: Peter is underaged (17), mentions of abuse/ abusive relationships, feminization (Peter).

*

Peter looks adorable in flannel pajama pants and a baggy shirt that says ‘I survived New York.’ His hair is messy and he looks younger than he is but it’s a good look or maybe Tony’s just a little in love. Its way too soon for that kind of thing but he’s never really been known for doing anything small so its not like he’s surprised at all by his feelings, even if he’s not about to admit them.

“So um. May confiscated all the lingerie she didn’t know I had,” he says, curling his knees up to his chest.

A mental image Tony didn’t need at the moment if he wants to concentrate on the subject at hand but he does his best regardless. “Well that’s disappointing,” he says and Peter laughs, shaking his head.

“You should see your face. You look like someone slapped your mother with a wet kitten,” he says and Tony snorts.

“Where do you even come up with this stuff?” he asks.

Peter shrugs, “no clue, it just comes to me. But um, I’m grounded until further notice so that sucks,” he says, pouting.

“If you’re grounded how the hell are you on the computer talking to Tony?” Rhodey asks from behind Tony and he jumps.

“God damn Rhodes, make a noise!” Rhodey rolls his eyes at him and Tony chooses to ignore that rudeness.

“I need the computer for school so I bartered to keep it,” Peter says.

Rhodey snorts, “man I wish I had white parents,” he mumbles, walking away. Peter frowns a little but Tony gets the feeling May isn’t terribly strict more because Peter doesn’t give her a reason to be than letting her kid run wild the way his parents did. Well, alright, Howard didn’t care if he ran wild but if Tony broke some kind of expectation of his he didget his ass beat about it so its not like things were peachy.

“In May’s defense,” Peter says as his door opens. Tony tries his best to convey to close the damn window with his face or something but Peter doesn’t get the hint, “I don’t think she’s very good at grounding me.”

In the background May looks damnunimpressed. “Well apparently I’m going to have to get better at it,” she says and Peter’s eyes go wide as he whips around to face her.

“May!” he says, surprised. May stalks forward, eyes on Peter’s computer and he whirls back around, “okay love you Tony, bye!” he says and closes the computer, effectively ending the video call.

Tony stares at the screen for a few moments in shock when Rhodey walks back in. “Wait, aren’t his parents dead? How the hell did you manage to offend them? What’d you do, pull out a Ouiji board?” he asks.

It takes a second to get through Tony’s clouded brain to think for a moment. “Um, no. I pissed off his aunt. Got caught with my hand in the metaphorical cookie jar,” he says and Rhodey lets out a long sigh.

“What did I tell you about locking doors, man? It will save your ass from a crazy ass priest with a shotgun one of these days,” he says like that’s not a highly specific to him kind of experience. Well okay, highly specific to him and Carol but they were being chased off for wildly different reasons.

Tony rolls his eyes at him, “you remember that when you’ve got your arms full of hot omega and get back to me,” Tony tells him.

“Oh my god, no wonder omegas think we don’t know how to think past our junk. Stop giving us a bad name,” Rhodey tells him.

“In his defense I’ve been there. Not fun, but good for you man,” Carol says, giving him a thumbs up from the doorway. “Next time risk sexiling Rhodey again, probably less consequences that way.”

Rhodey frowns at her, “whose side are you on here? I would never get my damn room back if I allowed Tony to just have his way with it.”

“Don’t be ridiculous Rhodes, I have class,” Tony points out. And so does Peter, plus travel time. He’s got plenty of time in here all things considered.

Rhodey squints at him, “I have class withyou asshole. Don’t listen to Carol I willfind a way to make your sexiling not worth it.”

“No he won’t,” Carol says, dodging a sock Rhodey throws at her head and laughing.

*

Peter sits awkwardly as May paces back and forth. He knows she’s worried but she shouldn’t be, he knows what he’s doing. Kind of. Well okay maybe he doesn’t know what he’s doing at all but does anyone?

“Peter,” she says softly. “What is going on with you?”

“Nothing May, I’m fine.” He tries to put on an air of more fine for her sake because he doesn’t want her to worry about him, not when the one shitty thing that was in his life still is gone.

May doesn’t look like she believes him though. “Are you sure? Because you haven’t been acting like you lately and I’m getting worried here. Is this some sort of… I don’t know, latent reaction to Ben because you know you can talk to me, right?” she asks.

Peter clenches his jaw and looks away because he didn’t really need a reminder of that. He misses his uncle and if he’s honest he hasn’t totally made peace with his death but that’s not influencing his actions. “No, its not that,” he murmurs.

May sighs and sits beside him, wrapping an arm around him. He leans into it, pressing his face to her shoulder because it feels like its been a long time since they’ve done this and he kind of misses it. They used to do movie nights, but Ben was always the one who chose the movie and when they realized too late they kind of fell out of the habit. He thinks that neither of them really wanted to take his place. “Peter,” May murmurs. “In the last couple months you have broken up with a guy who by all accounts did not seem to treat you right and I suspect I don’t know the half of it, then you pretty much immediately moved on to someone new and I don’t want to consider what the two of you have been doing together, I found a bunchof lingerie in your room and I don’t even know when or even howyou got it, and you’ve been doing an awful lot of sneaking around lately. I’m sure you can see why I’m worried.”

Okay, from her point of view he gets why things might seem so off. “Its not like… I mean yeah Quentin pretty much sucked and yeah I know I moved on a little fast but Tony’s really great, you should give him a chance. He’s smart, and funny, and he’s really supportive and sweet and I really like him. And also you can buy things online,” he says in way of explaining the lingerie. Liz’s dad still has a PO box in the city so they all send their goods there and Liz picks it all up before anyone else can and distributes it all. Peter has no idea why Ned thinks his Star Wars collectibles count as contraband, he was a little surprised to discover that MJ mostly got her cousin to mail edibles from California, and he and Liz share a love of all things lacy. Their system works pretty well or at least it did until May busted him. Not that she knows about the PPO box thing and he’s not about to rat everyone out. No one is even sure anyone knows about Liz’s dad’s PO box in light of him going to jail and they aren’t about to say anything either.

“Peter,” May says softly, squeezing him a little. “Are you… sureabout this guy you’re seeing? Because I did find you two in a pretty compromising position,” she points out.

They’ve been in more compromising positions than that but Peter doesn’t mention it. He figures he will spare his aunt and also himself from spreading that knowledge around. “Yeah, I am. Like I said, he’s really sweet and supportive and stuff. You’d like him.” Probably better than Quentin, no one had liked him but both Ben and May let him come to his own conclusions even if their facial expressions told him all he needed to know about what they thought.

“I sure hope so because you told him you loved him before you closed your computer,” she says and Peter’s eyes probably triple in size.

“Please tell me you’ve told me that as some sort of cruel and unusual punishment,” he says, horrified. They haven’t even been together that long, definitely not long enough to go professing his love even if its true he’s going to die.

May frowns, “no, you said that.”

Maybe if he feels enough shame he can use it to power himself back in time and undo this mess.

*

Peter is distant but Tony figures that’s mostly because he’s been banned from most of technology on account of his aunt is trying to actually ground him. Tony has decided he should bridge the gap because he missesPeter and MJ is a good conspirer if he bribes her with driving time in her choice of car so he has it on good authority that Peter will be brought right to him. He looks at his phone, considering pulling a fire alarm to speed this process up when students start pouring out of the school. Yeah, he doesn’t really miss high school not that he went for long. Genius brain and all that, he got to skip out early.

Peter is walking with MJ, Ned, and Liz predictably and when he sees Tony he looks panicked. He’d be worried, but MJ has already informed him that his accidental declaration of love has freaked him out and Tony suspects MJ hasn’t told Peter he feels the same way because she likes the drama of it all. She will deny it, he’s sure, if he confronted her about it, but she doeslike the drama. So she and Liz shove him forward and Ned quickly takes his place in the line so he can’t try and slip behind them.

Tony grins and reaches out for him and that seems to be enough encourage Peter to come to him. He all but runs over, launching himself at Tony and he catches him easily, happily kissing him as he holds him up. “I love you too,” he murmurs when Peter pulls away. Its so worth it to see the look on Peter’s face because he glowswith happiness.

“I love you,” Peter says back, pressing in to kiss him again and Tony could do this for the rest of his life, hold Peter in his arms like this.

Someone lets out a soft ‘aw’ and Tony pulls away, noting the small crowd around them. Ugh, okay. He wrinkles his nose a little and lowers Peter back to the ground not that he pulls away much. He pretty much stays glued to Tony’s side, arms around his neck beaming at him. A slow clap to his left catches his attention and he looks over to find, presumably anyway, Peter’s ex standing there looking superimpressed about this whole thing.

“Great, Peter. You’ve made your point, now get rid of this guy,” he says and Tony squints.

“Its been months buddy, take a fucking hint.” He knows he texts Peter a whole bunch too not that Peter complains much. He suspects he doesn’t want to trouble anyone with it and Tony thinks that’s a bit of a mistake but he’ll mention that to Peter if he ever choses to say something about it.

Quentin, if Tony’s remembering the guy’s name right, doesn’t even bother to look at him and that kind of pisses Tony off. Especially since he’s decided to look at Peter like he’sthe authority on the situation as if he doesn’t want Peter to just do what he wants. “I’ve told you like a milliontimes that we’re done and we have been for months can’t you just give it up?” Peter asks, sounding exhausted.

Quentin takes a step forward and Peter is pulled from his grasp by Liz, who’s giving Quentin suspicious looks and ohTony so does not want to get in a fight with this guy. First of all he’s like a foot taller than him, which isn’t hard because he’s so short, but still. Peter mentioned football and Tony doesn’t like the idea of constant training to keep in shape. Not, he supposes, that he’s lacking his own. Lab equipment isn’t exactly light but that isn’t the same thing and he’s not much of a fighter. He prefers to keep things a battle of the brains, no risk of him losing that way.

“Why don’t you just admit that you don’t even know how to deal with Peter and go away,” Quentin tells him.

Tony rolls his eyes, “seem to know how to handle him much better than you given that he was in myarms like four seconds ago,” he points out.

God, this is why Rhodey tells him to keep his mouth shut but he can’t help it if its true. If the truth pisses this dude off so much maybe he should have grown the fuck up and pulled his head out of his ass. Its not Tony’s fault he didn’t. “Yeah, you don’t know shitif you let him walk around dressed like that,” Quentin says and Tony knows he’s making some type of face because people start laughing. Mostly omegas, he notices, not that he’s surprised by that. Alphas would be more likely to sympathize with Quentin for some stupid ass reason.

“I don’t give a fuck what Peter wears, its hisbody. Besides, unlike you apparently I figure when Peter wakes up in the morning and goes to look at his clothes he thinks to himself ‘I like this piece of clothing and it looks cute on me, I’ll wear it’ rather than ‘every alpha in the immediate vicinity will assume I’m sexually available and simultaneously try and get up my skirt while also degrading me and treating me like shit. I will wear this because I love being verbally abused and treated as a sex object! Its my favorite past time!’ Use what little brain cells playing football hasn’t knocked out of your head and consider how fucking dumb you sound,” Tony tells him.

Its not the right thing to say because he ends up crowded against his car and oh this is sonot an ideal position to be in but true to his personality he can’t just keep his mouth shut. “What the fuck kind of intimidation tactic is this? Feels more homoerotic than intimidating,” he says, leaning further into Quentin’s space and reaching up to touch his face. “I wish I could quit you,” he says in a bad southern accent that gets him shoved away for it and Quentin lurches forward but Tony panicsand he doesn’t mean to, really, but its like his hand moves on its on accord and the heel of it slams into Quentin’s face.

The results are crunchy and immediate as he falls back, clutching his face. “What the fuck?” he yells, blood falling from his hands. Tony looks at his uninjured hand because that was a fluke of some epic proportions and he already knows it was mostly Quentin’s own momentum that resulted in a broken nose. The fact that Tony managed to get the angle right and not injure himself is pure luck.

“No!” someone yells off to the side and Tony turns to find MJ throwing her book at the ground. “His throat was rightthere! Fucking throat punchhim! Is no one ever going to do it!” she yells, throwing her hands into the air.

*

They’re all driving back to Peter’s house silently and Tony’s real worried he over stepped his bounds because that seems like the kind of macho shit Peter has shown a distaste for and its not like he meantfor any of it to happen but-

“‘I wish I could quit you?’” Liz asks, leaning forward from the back seat of the car with questions all over her face.

Tony shrugs, “because he looks like that guy from Brokeback Mountain. The one that wasn’t Heath Ledger. You know the guy. Seemed like a good idea at the time,” he says, wincing. He gives a small glance to Peter, who isn’t looking at him at the moment. Shit.

“That’s… hilarious,” Ned says and they all start laughing, including Peter a little bit so Tony feels a little better.

“His face!” MJ wheezes out. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look so pissed.”

“That whole bit about being sexually harassed being Peter’s favorite pastime,” Liz says. “Great way to put that.”

“The look on Tony’sface when Quentin implied he should control what Peter wears,” Ned says.

“Yeah, that was funny but leads to some worrying questions about Quentin’s relationship with Peter,” Liz says, effectively ruining the mood.

They go back to being silent for a few moments before Tony speaks, “yeah, I don’t care what you wear. Its not my business and unlike that ignorant ebola virus I think your skirts look greatso I would be real fucking happy if you continued to wear them. But if you do or not is your choice,” he says. “If you do though those long socks look really nice with them,” he adds.

Peter frowns, “thigh highs?” he asks and Tony shrugs.

“If that’s what they’re called,” Tony says.

“Who doesn’t know what a thigh high is?” Ned asks.

“You’re only jealous because you can’t find a pair that fits,” Peter tells him, laughing a little.

Ned lets out an offended noise, “it is not my fault that the beauty industry discriminates against thighs as bountiful and beautiful as mine, okay?”

*

Peter figures he should maybe do some thinking about whyTony punching his ex is so attractive to him but for the moment he works on keeping it to himself on account of it’d be pretty embarrassing for everyone to get a whiff of that. Tony’s polite and walks him to the door of his building though so Peter figures he’ll let go of the pretenses and drag Tony into a kiss. He makes a surprised noise as he wraps his arms around Peter’s waist and lets Peter pull him in. He lets out a soft moan as Peter moves a hand to his thigh and Tony pulls it up to his hip.

“Fuck, who cares what your shitty ex thinks you’re sofucking hot like this,” he murmurs into Peter’s mouth. He moans, curling his fingers into Tony’s hair as Tony’s hand flexes on his thigh a little.

Tony lets out a soft noise as he pulls away, “okay, okay. I um. Maybe should go before I get arrested for public indecency,” he says, giving Peter a lusty once over.

Peter glances into the building to see if anyone is there and winces when he notices May standing in the lobby and she doesn’t even look angry or disappointed, she just looks worried and that’s worse. “Um. Yeah maybe for the best,” he says. Tony looks over, sensing the mood change, and winces hard. Yeah, this isn’t looking very good for him. He goes to pull away but Peter pulls him back into a kiss for a moment, “I’ll try and sneak out to see you soon, I have plans,” he murmurs against Tony’s lips. His face brightens significantly so Peter feels better about leaving him like this.

“Great!” he says enthusiastically.

*

May paces back and forth, clearly worried and Peter wilts under her gaze. “Do I need to have the talk with you?” she asks and Peter swears to godhe almost gags.

“No, I’m good thanks. We got plenty of that in school,” he says. Also Ben had awkwardly explained a few things a few years ago and he’s pretty sure they both would have liked to have been spared from that.

“Are you sure? Because it really seems like I should have the talk with you,” she says.

Peter is going to die of embarrassment. “Its fine May, I know what’s going on and it’s a little late anyway,” he says accidentally and May’s eyes basically double in size before she presses her hand to her forehead. “Can we please act like I never said that?” he asks fast.

“No, we can’t. We really can’t pleasetell me you’ve been using protection,” she says, looking horrified to be having this discussion.

She isn’t really alone there. “Yeah May I know what a condom is and how to use them can we drop this now?”

He can see her consider it and he really hopes she stops considering it because this is awfuland he hates it. “Okay, for now fine. What were you doing with your boyfriend? You’re grounded, remember?”

Shit, right. “Can you call the school and do something about Quentin because he won’t leave me alone and its been monthsand he keeps sending all these texts and he almost got into it with Tony and it would be really nice if he just backed off,” he says, tears springing to his eyes fast.

May frowns, sitting down beside him, “Peter whatdoes that have to do with anything? And how come this is the first time I’ve heard about any of this?”

Peter throws his arms around her instead of answering, letting her comforting hug back calm him a little before he explains some things.

[imaginingsoftly]

It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time Pt 4 - Morgan Rielly

Type: roommates to lovers, Y/N insert shorts

Requested: No

Warnings: none

(Y/N = Your name, no POV change this chapter. It’s all in Morgan’s POV)

A/N: this is mostly just fluff, but very happy stuff, a lot lighter than the last chapter.

More than anything, Morgan regretted falling asleep on the ride home. That first week living with Y/N had left him with more questions than answers about his new roommate, and the guys were never any help. It was a constant stream of “that’s just Y/N” or “yeah she does that sometimes”, without any real explanation as to why. She was always working, even when she was at home. The three bags that she lugged to and from the school with her every day had appeared to weigh her down significantly, but now he was wondering if it was just the stress of worrying about the kids. 

He was ashamed to admit that he had never really thought of teaching as a stressful profession; going to school 5 days a week from 7-3 didn’t seem that hard until he saw just how much Y/N was doing when she wasn’t at the school. Every night she sat on the floor of the living room for hours, baseball turned on in the background as she created things for her classroom or weeded through forms and papers he didn’t think could understand even if she tried to explain them. He had asked once what she was doing, but she’d used so many acronyms in the span of one sentence that he was afraid to ask her to explain what they meant. 

Those few hours on the beach really gave him an opportunity to understand where Y/N was coming from, and why it looked like she held the weight of the world on her shoulders. In some ways, he guessed that she kind of did. So yeah, he regretted falling asleep and not getting the chance to ask her for more information. 

It was almost noon by the time he managed to get himself out of bed, and he’d only moved because he heard voices from outside, one of which potentially belonged to Hamilton. “It’s been good, Doug,” Y/N was saying as he walked to his bedroom door, “he’s a sweet guy.” He couldn’t hear Hamilton’s quiet response, but he heard Y/N’s next sentence clearly. “I’ve actually been thinking about telling him he could stay for the season if he wants. That way he doesn’t have to worry about moving once you guys really get into the season.” Morgan stopped short of the door. Did she really mean that? It would make his life so much easier, and he hadn’t really been looking very hard for a place either. Hamilton and Y/N turned as Morgan came out of his room, and the first thing that he noticed was how Y/N’s Y/E/C eyes brightened when she saw him. She really did have beautiful eyes. 

“Heya, sleepyhead,” she joked with a laugh. “We were just taking bets on if you were gonna sleep all day.” Y/N was sitting on the counter, a large mug of coffee in her hands and her hair loose around her. Doug was leaning on the opposite counter, holding one of the muffins Y/N had made a few days prior in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. “Sup, Mo. I was just telling Y/N that we’re having a little cookout tonight at Svechy’s place as a ‘happy hockey season’ party. You’re both coming, attendance mandatory.” Y/N looked like she was about to protest, but Hamilton held up a hand to stop her. “Kat said you’re coming, no excuses. She also said to make your chili.” Hamilton looked back at Morgan and smiled. “Y/N here apparently makes phenomenal chili, and Kat’s decided that we all need to experience it.” 

Y/N jumped off the counter with a sigh. “Well if I’m making chili I need to go grocery shopping. It needs to sit as long as possible, since that asshole didn’t give me enough warning to make it last night.” She stomped into her bedroom, throwing the door shut a little bit dramatically. Both Morgan and Hamilton looked at the door and then each other before bursting into laughter. Hamilton stepped forward, clapping Morgan on the shoulder. “Alright man, I’ll leave you with that mess. See you tonight. 6 o’clock. Y/N knows where to go.” Morgan nodded and fist-bumped his captain. Hamilton let himself out of the apartment, and Morgan went back into his room to get dressed. 

By the time he came back out, Y/N was gathering reusable bags and still muttering under her breath. “Can I come with you?” Morgan asked, stepping back into the living room. Y/N turned, and Morgan was pretty sure his jaw dropped. She was wearing a simple little navy dress and her Red Sox hat, a pair of white Converse on her feet, and she looked absolutely incredible. He had never realized how tan she really was, probably from all of her time at the beach, but the tank of the dress really showed it off. “Yeah, sure.” Y/N’s answer snapped him back into reality, and he shook his head as he threw on a pair of sneakers. 

Their walk to the farmers market was full of a pointless argument about the best junk food, and Morgan had a feeling he was never going to win this argument. “Chips are nowhere near the best kind of junk food, Morgan, what the fuck?” Y/N looked at him incredulously as they reached a crosswalk, and Morgan stared back at her stubbornly. “Oh, and shitty Dominos pizza is?” he threw back sarcastically. “Yes! Yes shitty pizza is better than chips. Nothing tastes better than shitty pizza when you’ve been eating really healthy.” Y/N gestured with her hands as she spoke, something Morgan was beginning to notice she did a lot. They turned onto the street the farmers market was on, and Morgan forgot his response. The street was bustling, filled with people selling everything from produce to breads to candles and flowers. Y/N headed straight for a vegetable truck with purpose, and Morgan followed close behind her. 

“Ms. Y/N!” The owner shouted as they walked up, “How are you, honey?” The man was old, his hands tan and spotted from years in the sun, and his accent was thick. Morgan liked him immediately. “Hello, Mr. Mason. I’m good, how are you today?” Mason grinned at Y/N and grabbed her hands, squeezing them gently. “I’m great now that my favorite customer is back. What can I get for you today?” Y/N reached into her bag and pulled out a mesh produce bag. “I need a whole bunch of peppers today. What have you got for me?” Morgan followed behind the pair as they began surveying his produce, smiling back at the older man when he looked back at Morgan. “I have some bell peppers, jalapenos, anaheims, and poblanos. Would those work?” Y/N nodded enthusiastically. “Those are perfect, actually! I’m making chili, and those are all the peppers I would normally use.” She gathered up a few of each pepper, and walked with Mason to check out. Morgan continued to follow, and jumped when Mason addressed him suddenly. 

“I hope you’re treating my girl right, son. She’s a good one.” Y/N’s face was priceless when she registered what the older man had said, and she jumped in before Morgan could respond. “Oh, no, Morgan and I are just friends. He’s a teammate of Kat’s boyfriend. Do you remember Kat? My old roommate?” Mason nodded, clearly remembering the feisty girl that used to be by Y/N’s side every weekend. “Yes, I remember her. Tell her I’m upset she hasn’t come by for my strawberries lately, will you honey?” Y/N grinned at the man, and Morgan caught himself staring at her again. It was becoming a problem, but he couldn’t help it. When she smiled, it seemed like the whole world brightened for a little while. It was one of those smiles that was totally infectious. He was brought back to earth when Mason was waving at him, telling the pair to come again soon. Morgan managed some kind of goodbye, and then they were walking again. 

They didn’t turn back in the direction of the apartment, and they didn’t speak again until Y/N stopped outside Raleigh Provisions. “So I need to run inside the grocery store and buy some crushed tomatoes and other ingredients I couldn’t get at the market. Would you mind waiting outside with the peppers while I run in?” Morgan nodded, and Y/N was heading inside the store before his next breath. She was back outside quickly, carrying another one of her reusable bags. “Thanks,” she said, taking her peppers back, “I wouldn’t normally stop in there, because it’s a lot more expensive than going to Target or even Harris Teeter, but I needed to get this stuff quickly. Part of the tastiness of chili is having it sit for a long time, and 4 hours is not nearly enough time.” They began walking in the direction of the apartment again, and Morgan took a second to appreciate the pleasantness of the day. 

“So what should I expect of the cookout tonight?” he asked Y/N. She shrugged. “They’re pretty chill, generally. The guys with kids will usually bring them, and babies will be passed around until they get fussy. Svechy will get the younger kids really riled up, and someone will inevitably get pranked by him and his small army of hellions. Kat will probably get the fire pit in the backyard going, so we’ll have a fire to roast marshmallows in and stuff, someone will probably break out a guitar when everyone gets drunk enough, one of the guys will throw somebody into the pool and then everyone will be jumping in. The usual kind of stuff.” Morgan had to admit that it sounded really nice. Family-like even. “Yeah, it is kinda a family type of atmosphere.” Oops. “Did I say that out loud?” Y/N laughed. “Yeah, you did.” She touched his arm gently. “It’ll be nice. I’m sure it’s been stressful to start with a new team so close to the season, but these guys are great. Don’t be a dickhead, and you’ll fit in fine.” Morgan barked out a laugh at the last sentence, and Y/N joined him pretty quickly. 

He threw an arm around her shoulders as they continued walking, squeezing lightly. “Thanks for being an impromptu hype man, Red Sox.” Y/N elbowed his side gently. “Red Sox?” He nodded. “I haven’t seen you without that hat for more than like 5 minutes since we met. It’s a fitting nickname.” She laughed, nodding. “I’m not questioning the nickname, I was just curious about where it came from.”  

They reached their building as she spoke, and even Morgan’s athletic legs had trouble keeping up with Y/N’s shorter ones as she practically sprinted up the seven flights of stairs to the apartment. He was practically doubled over as she unlocked the door, and he almost collapsed onto the couch as she made her way into the kitchen almost unbothered. “How?” he wheezed at her. “I skate and exercise for a living and I’m dying.” Y/N turned to face him, and he noticed that she was indeed breathing a little heavier than usual. “I’m just wicked out of shape. I’m used to being out of breath. It doesn’t really bother me that much anymore.” Morgan groaned, laying his head back on the cushions. Y/N’s cat Bogey hopped onto his chest, purring loudly and nuzzling his chest. 

“So I have to ask, Red Sox, why Bogey? It’s a strange name for a cat.” Y/N laughed as she continued to pull out everything she needed to cook. “His name is actually Bogaerts. He’s named after Xander Bogaerts, the Red Sox’ shortstop.” She began washing the peppers, throwing them all into a colander before pulling out a knife and cutting board. “He’s one of my favorite Red Sox players. Just a good dude. Also,” she gestured with her knife, “it’s a great name for a cat.” Morgan stared at Y/N as she cooked. She had turned on some music, some kind of old shit his grandparents would probably listen to, and she was dancing around the kitchen as she prepped. Bogey settled onto his chest, shoving his head into the crook of Morgan’s neck with another round of purrs. 

Morgan woke up to Y/N shaking his shoulder. “Hey bud, you might wanna wake up and get ready to go. We’ve gotta leave in ten.” Bogey was no longer settled on his chest, and the chili Y/N had apparently finished while he was sleeping made the entire apartment smell fantastic. “Sorry I passed out on you. I don’t know what happened.” Y/N backed away when she noticed that he was awake, smiling gently. “It probably has something to do with me keeping you up all night, dude. Most people aren’t built to stay up all night.” Morgan stood with a groan, and felt his joints pop as he stretched. That was gonna feel awesome tomorrow. He took a second to look at Y/N, and realized that she had already changed, though it appeared all she had done was put on a bathing suit underneath her dress and exchanged her sneakers for flip flops. “Wear a bathing suit. You’ll regret it if you don’t.” With that Y/N turned, heading into the kitchen presumably to prepare the chili for transport.

Once Morgan was changed and Y/N deemed the chili ready for the drive they headed down to Y/N’s car. Morgan was put in charge of holding the chili, a responsibility he didn’t take lightly. Y/N would probably kill him if he spilled any of it. The trip to Svech and Kat’s house took almost  half an hour. They lived outside the city, in a neighborhood full of very cookie-cutter houses. Y/N noticed Morgan looking, and spoke up before he could ask. “Most neighborhoods down here are like this. I don’t know why, but the whole same-house-different-colors aesthetic is very popular for neighborhoods down here. I grew up in one.” So that answered that question, then. “I prefer the older neighborhoods. Most of the houses are fixer-uppers now, but I’d rather fix up an old house than live in one of these. They aren’t built very well.” 

They pulled up to Svech and Kat’s house as Y/N spoke, and it unsurprisingly looked just like the others. It was slate gray, with white trimming and a lawn that was way too well-manicured for them to be the ones taking care of it. There was a lot of noise coming from the backyard, and Y/N made a beeline for a door in the fence on the side of the house. She had taken the chili from Morgan, so he hurried forward to open the door for her. They were met with kids yelling and adults calling hello, and several very wet noses being shoved into his thighs. Morgan looked down to see three dogs staring up at him, two labs and a german shepard. Their tails were smacking into each other and the fence, and Y/N laughed as she shoved past them. “Jax! Kip! Mel! No!” A small blonde came hurrying over, yanking them back to help Y/N get the chili clear of death by puppies. Kat smiled up at Morgan, nodding her head in the direction of the guys. “They’ve been waiting for you. I think Doug has a beer with your name on it.” Morgan thanked her, heading over the where Hamilton and Svech were arguing about something. 

“No, you idiot, dodgeball was definitely our best.” Hamilton snorted at the younger boy as he spoke, shaking his head vehemently. “The basketball one was the best for sure. I mean seriously buddy, we’re in the college basketball capital of America. Nowhere loves college basketball like Raleigh.” The other guys were shaking their heads at the two, though some were definitely egging them on with other suggestions. Morgan was sucked into the conversation effortlessly, giving his own input without another thought. “I’m gonna have to side with the kid here, captain. The dodgeball one was pretty ingenious.” Hamilton groaned, punching him on the shoulder good-naturedly. “I thought D-partners were supposed to stick together, Mo?” He clutched his chest jokingly. “I’m gonna have to ask Rod to separate us if I can’t trust you.” The other guys laughed, and it felt good to be sucked into the ebb and flow of the conversation so easily. He didn’t feel new; it honestly felt like he was sitting around with Brownie and Fred and the other guys that he’d known for years. 

They talked for hours, and everything that Y/N had said would happen did. People began filtering out around ten, especially those with younger kids or kids who were at home with sitters. By the time the night ended, him and Y/N were the only ones left besides Kat and Svech. Y/N was sitting on Morgan’s shoulders while they battled with Kat and Svech in a game of chicken in the pool, a game in which him and Y/N were dominating. “You know,” Y/N said as she climbed onto his shoulders for another round, “if you pull something holding my ass up I’m not taking the fall for you when Rod goes postal.” Morgan pinched her calf. “Sweetheart you aren’t heavy enough for me to pull anything.” He jumped a few times for proof, and she threw her hands onto his chest in a panic. “Don’t do that!” Morgan laughed, throwing his head back to rest against her stomach. “Told you you weren’t too heavy.”

“Are you two gonna keep flirting all night, or are we gonna play?” Kat was smirking from her perch on Svech’s shoulders, and Morgan wasn’t sure who started stumbling through their words faster, him or Y/N. Kat just lifted an eyebrow and gestured Morgan forward wordlessly. Him and Y/N won that round, and the round after that, and then the last one as well before Kat finally announced that the boys had to travel the next day and they should all really get to sleep. She refused Y/N’s multiple offers to help clean up, and him and Y/N were quickly in her car to drive home, the now-empty pot of chili sitting on the floor at Morgan’s feet. Y/N turned on some kind of musical, blasting the sound way too loud as they began to drive. It took Morgan a second, but then the music sounded familiar. “Is this that Disney movie?” he yelled over the music. “The one with the troll or whatever?” Y/N turned down the song to look at him incredulously. “This is the Hunchback of Notre Dame! He is most definitely not a troll.” She gave Morgan another look before turning her eyes back to the road. 

“They made this album when they wanted to take it to broadway. They had the cast recording done and everything, when Disney told them they weren’t going to give them enough of a budget to have a full choir. You can’t have music with Catholic choir influences like Hunchback does and not have a full choir, so they nixed the plans, but we still have the cast recording. It’s incredible.”

Morgan had to admit that it really was beautiful music, especially with the car stereo Y/N had. They listened to several of the songs as they drove, and Y/N pointed out the different parts that she particularly enjoyed. She sang along badly to every song, and nightly unforgettable car rides were quickly becoming a staple of Morgan’s life in Raleigh.

If the entire season was like this, then maybe everything would be okay. 

[ninjasmart]

Ninja, how do I know if I'm meant to be with someone? I like someone from afar. He ofcourse doesn't know my existence. On one hand I don't have any expectations and I tell myself it's just a stupid crush. But sometimes I feel a such a strong pull, almost like our destinies are about to get intertwined soon. I don't know what's happening, I keep on getting minor hints that keep on reminding me of him. How do I know if this is just a stupid crush or can I expect something more from the Universe?

I hit the post before I could answer so here it is. 

First, thank you for asking about this. It’s a cardinal rule in this Universe to not interfere unless you’re asked for help.

Second, even if you have mad compatibility aspects with someone it still does not mean that you are meant to be with that someone. Esoterically speaking and even astrologically, for connection can be counted the first time you lay eyes on each other. Preferably in person, but zoom is also an option these days. 

From that moment on whatever aspects you two have could potentially play out. If you don’t meet for real it’s really not it. A further relationship cornerstone is when you exchange sexual energy. It is not my place to give advice to others about how often with how many and how quickly to have a sex with a guy. Everyone has a life and personal responsibility for it. 

What I would mention is two things. Every man you sleep with, you exchange life energy and karma with him. The woman gives the man receives. If the guy has a bad karma you take it onto yourself. This is what we women do - we transform the bad karma of the man and give him life force, creative energy so that he can conquer the world. 

I personally go to great lengths - I mean, past life regressions, akashic records, astrology, tarot before I sleep with a guy. Two things I want to figure out about him - does he have the type of karma I don’t want to deal with (I once had the mistake of sleeping with a guy who turned out to be into financial fraud and 365 days after I cut it with him I finally stopped having people from all over the place stealing money from me) and the second thing is - what’s in it for me. If a guy can significantly uplevel his life just buy having me in his life, why should I give him my energy. It’s not a given. What does he have to offer in return? Will he be kind, dependable, protective, will he be a user. I wanna know what’s in the water before I jump with both feet ;)

The second thing about sleeping with a guy is that he connects with you and for 7 years he draws from your life force. That’s why it’s a good thing for a weak man to sleep with a lot of women and not a good thing for a woman to sleep with a lot of guys. She’ll be depleted of feminine energy and there’s even some women who turn into strong male energy where they find weak men and suck their life force. 

The next key date for a relationship is betrothal - could be with a ring but even a promise to be together or to “never forget you and always be in your heart” is a betrothal that should not be taken lightly. This is the time when each of the partners brings their ancestral karma in the mix. The final stage of a young relationship is marriage. This is the time when the two people form their own energetic nucleus which has some mix of past relationships, family karma, personal karma and past lives of both partners but also has its own energy. Then there’s changes with each child that comes to the mix but that’s another story.

With all that - if you have not seen someone in person it is more important to find out what that hope / dream / obsession / fantasy is giving you than to drill more into when what and how to meet the guy or girl. So here’s my advice for you:

1. Leave it to God. Some things are not in your hands. Allow the Higher Power to be on your side and to bring you the best life conditions for the expansion of your soul and the best life lessons you might have.

2. If you really want to do something about it and you are a woman - do not act like a man about it. There’s so many women today that have forgotten how to be a woman. A woman does not go out into the world to meet her destiny. A woman harnesses her feminine energy at home. She dances, she cooks, she cleans, she makes handmade stuff. That’s how a woman becomes energetically powerful and attracts what she wants in life.  

3. You can do a Parvati offering, if you’re a woman. For 16 Mondays wear all white, cook all white food (rice, milk, cheese) and ask for Goddess Parvati to help you meet your soulmate. Just remember to not name names. You might thing someone is your soulmate but you might be b*shi**ing yourself. So ask for the man you’re connected with the red string of fate to come find you, to come closer to you. 

And believe that it can happen. A man can literally travel 17 hours just to meet you for afternoon tea. Because he wants to and because he can.

4. What’s the payoff of holding on to this dream? Be very specific about it. I’ll give a few examples:

- You’re lonely and dreaming and fantasizing about a man is filling up the loneliness void in your life, plus it’s cheaper than drinking till you blackout. 

 - It’s an addiction that looks harmless at first glance but it really isn’t. It seems that you’re not hurting anybody, just lusting about a person you have never met. It’s innocent, no harm done. Right? Wrong. You’re sending him your life force, you’re gifting it to him with zero return to you, you’re also closing yourself vibrationally to an available guy who can actually find you, you give off the “I’m taken” vibe and that’s a strong repellent to men who are ready for relationship and commitment

- It’s a way to avoid reality because reality is sh***ty and in your dream reality you can be as glam and victorious as can be. 

Well I have some news for you. Life is a mess. Most likely your life will be a disappointment, will not happen how you wanted it to happen, things will go sideways and you won’t be able to do anything about it, you’ll ask yourself more than once in your life - what’s the point, what do I do now, this is a dead end, why are others happy, in love, with money, with career, with kids, without a care in the world and I am not like them, I’m back at square one, I can’t do this any more. And let me tell you - it doesn’t matter where you’re born, what color your skin is, how well you were raised, how much you have or don’t have - you will go through this. Everyone does. 

And finally, what I really wanted to tell you. It is a choice to obsess about someone. It’s a choice to not live in the reality of your life. Many people do it. Many people escape reality with food, mindless sex, spending on stuff, holidaying all year long, watching netflix or porn or news all day long. But that’s all that is - an escapism, a choice to not face reality but live in a fantasy world (I do it too. I’m not above it all. I watch c-drama to practice my mandarin but really, to have that fairy tale ending where the good girl gets the guy). Same with drinking and using drugs or smoking or junk food/dolce foods. Just that with the vices that can kill you faster it’s more obvious that it’s not good for you. With escapism not so much. It’s the same as consumerism. You think you need stuff but then covid comes and you realize that people who care for you are more precious than the next thing you can buy. 

I’ll leave you with two things you can think of. 

1. Ask yourself: Why do you really want this person? What’s the benefit for you?

2. If you knew that holding onto “I want That” is going to push That away from you (you may think that you focus on “I want that” but you actually focus on “I don’t have that” and you push it away) and if you knew that with this dream you’re keeping the space for the most amazing man or woman to come into your life and thus are missing out on opportunities to actually meet your happiness (even if you have a soul contract with someone if you do not meet during the time to meet a soulmate and a husband / wife, it’s not going to work, speaking from experience), would you still subject yourself to a future of single woman / man with cats and dogs? Or would you take full responsibility for the missed life while high on escapism and look at your reality exactly as it is and maybe go from wherever you are in life. 

[purplesurveys]

1062

survey by chrissylee22dc

A

Achievements: I guess I’m being asked to list some of mine...some of the ones I’m proudest of, at least, are graduating university with honors, landing a job (liking it is a big bonus), and taking up leadership positions.

Age: I am 22, but never felt quite like it.

Are you planning something right now? Kind of. I’m eyeing a long road trip to Tanay with just myself and go to one of their coffee shops, but idk when I’ll be able to do that. My wallet and bank account are still beat from Christmas lol (and until now I’m still buying gifts for friends), so it might have to wait until sometime next month.

Arizona or Alaska: I think Arizona weather is already quite like ours here, so I might enjoy Alaska a bit (if not a lot) more. There’s generally a lot more factors I find interesting with Alaska, like their food.

B

Birthdate: April 21st.

Build: I’m quite thin and underweight, but I actually recently made plans to start working out - both to make an effort to be healthy with myself, and also to feel good post-breakup. I’m hoping to see some changes in my body and build in the coming months.

Babies, do you have any? None of those, not sure if that’s still the plan for me.

Blonde or Brunette: Brunette.

C

Childhood sweetheart: Erm, does Gab count? We technically weren’t kids anymore when we first got together. I wasn’t attracted to anyone as a kid and was more concerned with growing my Pokemon pogs collection.

Current mood: I’m hungry and can go for savory breakfast foods right now, like shakshuka or huevos rancheros. Also a little anxious because I really don’t want to think about work, but tasks continue to pile up for a certain client.

Children, are there more in your future? There aren’t even any to begin with.

Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi just because it reminds me of Punk and my chaotic wrestling fangirl years.

D

Dad's name: Edgardo, but no one calls him by that full name. He has two nicknames; one of which he hates and only family and friends use, and the other is the name he has permanently introduced himself as in his workplace.

Dating anyone: Not anymore.

Do you plan on having lots of money? Don’t most people?

Dogs or cats: Dogs.

E

Elementary School: I’m not sharing that.

Eye color: Dark brown/black.

Ever going to China? Probably not right now considering the present situation. I’d love to go to the rural cities and have a peek into their country life.

Early or Late: EARLY. Lateness is a big pet peeve, unless the excuse is super reasonable like Manila traffic or a car accident.

F

First Crush: The first person I felt remotely attractive to was Andi, from 6th grade. Then she moved to New Zealand and the crush quickly faded out.

Fears: For concrete things, I hate cockroaches and fair rides. For bigger concepts, I fear getting left behind, failing, and not getting approval, and the idea of never being satisfied or happy with who I am, what I’ve done, or where I’ve gone.

Future goals: Have a place of my own, be able to sustain myself, and keep myself alive.

Funny or Serious: I think everyone has to have both sides. I wouldn’t want to hang out long with people who can’t be sat down to just shoot the shit with conversations that go a little deeper. At the same time, I’d be quickly bored with someone who talks about existential or philosophical topics 24/7 and takes everything seriously.

G

Grandparent's names: On my dad’s side, Dolores and Federico; on my mom’s side, Agnes and Jun. My maternal grandpa is the third in multiple generations of Abelardos in the family, but his nickname is simply ‘Jun,’ because Philippines.

GPA: We don’t measure our grades with that, but we do have a GWA; I’m just not sure how that can be converted to GPA. Mine was in the 1.47 range, which was good enough for cum laude honors. I barely missed out on a magna cum laude honor (which required a 1.45 GWA), so that’s something I’ve always been pressed about and I know I could have clinched it if the pandemic didn’t cancel my final semester, which would’ve given me the chance to pull up my grades.

Going anywhere this weekend? I don’t think so. I want to spend the remaining 5 days of my break completely unproductively.

Giver or Taker: Giver. I like pleasing people.

H

High School: I attended one school from kindergarten to high school.

Hair color: Black.

Hate anyone for life? I don’t think so. I dislike some people, but I can’t tell if I’ll feel that way for the rest of my life.

Hairspray or Gel: When I’m going somewhere or attending something fancy, I use hair gel to hold my hair down.

I

In 8th grade, who was your best friend? Eighth grade is freshman year of high school, right? In that case, my best friend was Gabie.

Is ignorance bliss? Sometimes it is. I like no longer being updated about Gabie’s life. Back when I still tried to push my way in, I was miserable. I stopped doing so over the holidays and I just stopped reaching out, stopped trying to communicate, everything. I’ve been a lot happier that way.

Is there anything you wanna share? That’s kinda the goal with every survey I take.

Ice Cream or Cake: Right now, maybe ice cream. I’m very picky about cake, and I don’t like the spongy ones aka most cakes I know.

J

Jumped rope for fun: That’s exactly what I use jump ropes for. I don’t think I ever used it for fitness or working out except for maybe PE.

Junk around you right now? I mean, not really. I have my embroidery stuff in a pile beside me, but I don’t consider them junk.

Joining anything anytime soon? Not planning on it. I briefly considered joining a gym as a new thing to do for 2021, but in the end I figured working out at home would be enough. Angela recommended the latter as well, so that’s how I abandoned my gym plans quickly haha.

January or July: I guess July? January always feels just a teeny bit stranger than other months, considering it’s the beginning of a new year.

K

Killed anyone: ...This serious?

Keeping a secret? I keep different secrets from different people.

Kicking someone off your top friends today? I don’t think that’s a thing anymore. Hasn’t been for a while.

Kiwi or Apple: Apple, just because I’ve never had the chance to taste kiwi.

L

Lost anyone close to you: I’ve lived 22 years, of course I have. I’d be very surprised if someone has lived that long but has never experienced losing people, whether from a fallout, from death, etc. Just this year alone I lost a great-aunt on my maternal grandpa’s side, and a ton of relatives from my maternal grandma’s side.

Last kiss, when and who: Gabie, three months ago.

List 3 people that you'll love forever: I can only think of Angela. And of course, Gab.

Lover or Fighter: Fighter, I suppose. I can be relentless. Right now with my breakup has been the only time I allowed myself to take a step back and not forcibly take things under my control for once.

M

Middle School: We don’t follow the concept of middle school here. The levels in middle school fall under elementary school as well.

Marital Status: Single.

Mom's name: Abigail.

Music or TV: TV.

N

Northernmost state you've been to: Batanes, which is as northernmost as northernmost gets in the Philippines.

Nickname: A lot of family members call me Byn, but for the most part Robyn has always been my main nickname.

Name your future boy and girl: I have yet to make up my mind about this.

Naughty or Nice: Nice. I never particularly feel ~naughty, and since the breakup I especially haven’t felt the need to be sexual.

O

Opened a piece of mail that wasn't yours? Sometimes I’ll open the electricity or water bill addressed to my parents out of curiosity just to find out how much we consumed in the last month. But nothing more than that.

Occupation: I’m an associate at a PR agency.

Owe anyone money: Nope.

Outgoing or Shy: Shy at first but I can get outgoing once I’ve warmed up to a person/situation.

P

Place you most want to be? Right now? I’d love to be at a coffee shop or bar at a higher altitude, with a view of the city. I used to go to a lot of these before the pandemic hit, but now I’m thinking of doing it again.

Purposely destroyed someone’s life? No.

Planning a major trip? Not really. Most tourist spots require swab tests and I am not having anything go up my nose.

Pink or Black? Love both, but I like pink ever so slightly more.

Q

Quit a class: I’ve never dropped a class. I’ve wanted to, but there was so much paperwork to fill out to do so and I also didn’t want to be behind on my overall schedule.

Quickly...the first word to come to mind: Whistle, because the pink/black question reminded me of Blackpink.

Quitting your job soon? No lol I’m barely two months in.

Quiet or Loud: I can be both, but these days I’ve been quieter.

R

Riding in an airplane: I have no idea what this is asking.

Ride, tell me about yours: ^ Same.

Running for any political office in the future? No plans to.

Rain or Snow: I guess rain, since it’s the only one I’ve experienced.

S

Siblings names and ages: Nina is 20, my brother is 17.

Shoe size: I fit anywhere between a size 6 to 7.

Shave daily? It used to be daily, but I haven’t had the need to since the quarantine began.

Shower or Bath: Shower.

T

Turning 21 was (will be): It’s been a year since then.

Texas, ever been? No but I have relatives who live there, so it’s one of my choice states to visit and stay at if I ever plan to go to the US.

Think you'll live to be 100? I doubt it. I don’t have any relatives who lived until that age.

Tame or Wild: Idk, tame I guess?? I don’t know what this is asking.

U

Unique quality about you: I feel like this is a question best answered by other people who see and interact with me more than I do myself.

Underwear on? Yeah.

Under your bed lies: Large containers with all the magazines I collected from childhood that I can’t bring myself to throw out.

Under or Over: Idk, you have to be more specific.

V

Virgin? No.

Vacation time left? I have five days left, including today :( I plan to be the most unproductive or bum-y I’ve ever been, because I have no clue when I’ll have a break this long again.

Voting in the next Presidential election? Of course.

Volleyball or Swimming: I like swimming more, but I like watching volleyball.

W

Went white water rafting? I don’t think so, but I would give it a shot.

Wearing right now: A hoodie that’s around two sizes bigger for me.

Write a sentence about you: About anything? I’m a little upset with myself for having been a bit lousy with survey-taking during the holiday break. I planned on taking a lot to catch up on the ones I’ve missed out on, but so far I mostly take just one a day lol.

West Coast or East Coast: East.

X

X-Rays in the past month: 0.

X-Mas plans: Had a get-together with my mom’s side of the family on the 24th; we hosted our own Christmas party on the 25th; and we visited my dad’s side of the family on the 26th.

X, does it mark the spot? Idk.

X-Tina or Britney? Britney.

Y

You lost "it" when? I mean, I’ve had more than one moment where I freaked out...

Your favorite song:  I’m really in love with Saw You In A Dream by The Japanese House. My favorite songs come and go, but this one has been a constant.

Your favorite place on Earth: Sagada.

Yes or No: Idk. I’m not enjoying these vague ass questions.

Z

Zodiac Sign: Taurus.

Zodiac Sign: Idk, I’m still a Taurus.

Zippos are neat, agree? I don’t have an opinion.

Zoo or Circus: Neither.

[timedriving]

Timeblazer [For the ship meme Because why not? XD]

send me a ship and i’ll tell you… ( accepting )

who hogs the duvet JOHN!!!!! HOGS IT!!!!!! and it’s not even a “something that gradually happens at night” thing, it’s a “john realises eventually that rip doesn’t actually care about not having it, and so when they’re about to go to bed he wraps himself up in it without asking if rip doesn’t want to share and rip is totally cool with this”

who texts/rings to check how their day is going to check how their day is going? rip. for whatever random reason because he’s feeling bored? john. and sometimes the boredom isn’t JUST staved off by the messaging, but because he’s thought of some new stupid nickname to give rip in his contact list, which he always has a nice chuckle over. anyway rip’s texts are always fairly standard and john will text him like “look at what we found in arkansas mate” and it’ll be a picture of a mountain of rat skulls and rip’s just. thank you. for sharing this with me

who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts JOHN... LMFAO... i like to think that rip gets john a birthday gift, right, and it’s something fairly useful, like the helm of hades or something, and john’s like “oh yeah, thanks for the cosplay item, love” and rip’s like “it makes you invisible, john.......” and so john’s like. well shit! and though rip has no actual birthday (he doesn’t know when his nameday is, john!!! it didn’t matter in the future!!!), john suggests they make it the sixth of september (6/9) and rip is like. he sighs about it. but you know what. okay. and on rip’s birthday he gets a plastic bag full of junk (e.g. a stick of gum, an opened pack of cigarettes, an unopened toothbrush), and it doesn’t matter to him, so rip’s fine... except when he gets up to leave and go back on his adventures, he finds a new book in his bag about the history of cereal or something, and he ends up unable to leave because he wants to nail john in his living room

who gets up first in the morning it’s impossible to wake up earlier than a man who only needs like 4 hours of sleep every two weeks, so it’s definitely rip. but i think on the nights that rip does sleep, sometimes john will wake up earlier just to be like “well someone’s certainly slept in” and rip will find himself unable to resist laughing about it-- he’s softer when he’s just woken up, a bit more open with his emotions, and john knows it

who suggests new things in bed john. absolutely. it’s got to be john. though i think if he’d suggest something on the bdsm side of things where there’s proper technique and protocol and stuff involved, rip’s highly likely to get into it enough that he’ll research things himself and be able to make his own suggestions. but stupid shit like “oi, you ever shagged a man in your office before? all those glass windows--” will definitely come from john and rip’s definitely going to be like “i hate you, but also bend over”

who cries at movies i can’t imagine them particularly inclined to watch a lot of movies? and when they do it’s shit like the blob or jurassic park or whatever, not movies that are supposed to be emotional tearjerkers. probably john is more likely to laugh so hard he cries if they ever watch something like that, but i think they’re more or less set in this area

who gives unprompted massages see, rip has discovered that massaging john when he’s feeling tense makes him a bit noisy. and he quite likes when john is noisy. and that means... you know, he’ll do it after a hard case or something, just to make john’s toes curl

who fusses over the other when they’re sick rip’s more visible about his concern, and john likes to go “YEAH, MUM, ALL RIGHT” about it, but, like, you know. i think they’re both really weird about it, in that rip doesn’t really take care of people like this and john’s not used to having someone around when he has a nasty case of the flu?? and john will give him shit for it, of course, because rip fussing is hilarious in its own way, but... he’ll listen. mostly. but he’s still going to smoke. and they’re going to have to have this game where rip hides his cigarettes places and john has to find them and it’s terrible

who gets jealous easiest rip is the jealous type! it’s unfortunate! and it’s not like he gets irritated every time john flirts with someone because... let’s be real, that’s kind of in john’s programming to do it by default, but you know. he can’t help but feel a bit insecure in the case of exes or something. it’s not something that visibly sours his mood or makes him more of a douchebag but like. it’ll be there in the back of his mind like a splinter

who has the most embarrassing taste in music rip finds it... so cute... that john’s taste in music has stayed the same throughout the years. john finds it hilarious that rip’s discs and vinyls range from the beatles to guns n roses to the barenaked ladies to taylor swift, but only taylor’s “speak now” album “taylor swift? really?” “mate, you need to listen to ‘long live’, that song is-- something” “.......hm”

who collects something unusual THEY’RE BOTH WEIRD HOARDERS OF WEIRD THINGS... though i guess rip’s collection is bigger, considering he likes to bring home souvenirs from different points in time. but then, considering that ‘weird’ is their normal, maybe it’s not super unusual? probably the real unusual thing is the fact that since dating rip hunter, john’s home has never lacked cereal, which is... something

who takes the longest to get ready they both wear the exact same clothes everyday and don’t really change out of the norm. it’s easy to get ready. at most there’s only ever a competition when it’s like “last one to be out has to do the laundry”

who is the most tidy and organised rip wins this one, but rip’s always been about efficiency and order and making sure everything is under control. john’s stuff is a bit more haphazard, and sometimes he’ll leave shit that was for work lying about, but it’s not like he’s the type to make a pigsty. rip doesn’t move any of it elsewhere on the virtue that he doesn’t want to deal with anything freaky happening if he touches it on accident... at most he’ll just empty john’s ashtray or do his dishes or something

who gets most excited about the holidays i don’t think they’ll celebrate holidays much, but john probably’s got something about halloween, even if it’s simple? rip probably likes the december holiday season, meanwhile, but only because it’s one of those traditions that’s celebrated even in his future... even if he never celebrated it before. i think he’ll have fun decorating a tree

who is the big spoon/little spoon rip’s the big spoon. no contest. john won’t ever admit to wanting a bit of affection in such a simple way and rip won’t ever admit to really enjoying giving it to him, but it’s like. they’ll be in bed, and john’s going to roll onto his side, mumble a quiet ‘good night’, and rip’s going to say it back, and then the quiet’s going to continue. john has the blankets all to himself and rip is staring at the ceiling, and when some time’s passed he’s going to turn onto his own side and wrap an arm around john’s middle. and john pretends he’s fallen asleep, but he hasn’t yet-- he relaxes just a bit, and rip knows this, and nobody’s going to say anything as rip’s mouth brushes quietly over john’s shoulder

who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports there’s no competition when john’s lungs give out so easily i think they’re pretty equally competitive in cards or dice games or something though

who starts the most arguments i think john’s most likely to start arguments with like... a stranger at a pub or something, but not necessarily an argument between them? they have a kind of weird way of being able to relate to each other, which i think makes it easy for them to be agreeable with things and opinions. or at least makes it easy for them to talk instead of going all aggressive and angry with each other

who suggests that they buy a pet GOD... i don’t think either of them are pet types? at most they’re going to be talking to the owner of a pet store or something for a case, and whilst waiting for them to be available to speak with, john’s going to point at a big-eyed cat like “looks a bit like you, mate” and then rip’s going to buy it out of spite like “in case you ever miss me whilst i’m gone” and then they have a cat. i can’t even think of a name they’d give it. rip’s going to be simple and say “steve” and john’s going to be a shit like “the bringer of judgement” and so her name is steve the bringer of judgement, “brij” for short

what couple traditions they have god, drinking and karaoke. but also i like to think that rip and john are eventually going to be able to jam together, and it’s? the chillest thing? rip knows all the songs that john likes, so that’s easy, and maybe here and there john will write lyrics and rip will compose for them, and it’s... easy, and they don’t have to think much, and it’s nice also rip will sit with john every time he waits for his hair dye to set and that’s that. i like to think one time they’d ended up making out and john had to swat rip’s hands away from grabbing his hair like NO... DON’T

what tv shows they watch together cooking shows. i don’t know why i can see them watching cooking shows, but somehow it’s so easy to picture?? like just a sort of lazy television watching thing where they’re not even really paying ALL their attention to the tv, but it’s certainly going...

what other couple they hang out with at some point in their lives they’re going to double date with sara and ava, and ava truly cannot believe that this is rip’s steady partner, that this is the man he is dating, that her former boss is now sleeping with... with this blond rat... except rip seems genuinely happy, so... she’ll be nice... otherwise as chas and renee rebuild their marriage they’ll totally go on double dates. and john will be less of a bitch to renee and renee will be less of a bitch to john and. it’ll be good actually triple date with chas/renee + jim/zed + rip/john would be really cute?? there are two normal couples and then there’s the third one who quietly go ‘i didn’t know there’d only be chicken on the menu’ ‘this is a chicken restaurant’

how they spend time together as a couple rip has a weird penchant for just going on drives or walks, like he can’t get enough looking around the place, which john doesn’t necessarily get but is cool to indulge in. even cooler is when rip decides to portal them to different places, and he’ll get to show john different historical places and tell him true eyewitness accounts of them. i think the day he finds out john actually has some interest in history is the day that his eyes get weirdly bright and he is just... filled with this excitement to show him everything that he knows, and share with him everything that he knows?? drinking and talking is a good staple for them though. they do like to drink, and they do like to talk, and it’s not a half-bad thing to get handsy in the middle of it. besides that i figure they’re easy enough to just stay in the same space doing whatever. rip’s not even bothered by john’s bizarre spell-learning rituals any more!

who made the first move can you believe rip hunter, young time apprentice, saw the frontman for this shitty english punk band and thought he was so captivating on stage that he HAD to have him? and he bought a drink, and he did start speaking with him, and he was so fucking awkward when he spoke to him but still somehow got a kiss? several kisses? TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH HIM????? anyway the short answer is rip made the first move. the fucking idiot. though i imagine in their reunion it was john who was more openly flirtatious, even if it was in a teasing way, and rip just fell for it like the sucker that he is

who brings flowers home john, in his misguided attempts at proper romance, brings home some daisies. rip, surprised by this, takes them, and then teases him about how much he does like him, and john tells him not to get used to it! christ! it was just ONE nice thing-- a nice thing that rip does appreciate, he says as he kisses him, because he doesn’t think he’s ever gotten flowers from anybody before

who is the best cook rip is better. just, in general, objectively better. john even prefers rip’s eggs and eggs are supposed to be his speciality. rip likes to cook for him, though, and even goes to the effort of filling tupperwares with food for john to have in his fridge whenever rip’s not around, just so john doesn’t have any excuses not to eat anything any more even when he nukes it and it turns out the middle of the food is cold, john’s the type to keep eating it anyway. and even when it’s cold, it’s like... damn, rip hunter really can cook, huh

[anistarrose]

If The Sky Comes Falling Down (GF One-Shot)

Summary: Stan’s (and Ford’s) birthdays throughout the years.

Word Count: ~2300

Warnings: none

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19226707

Happy June 15th! (Title is from Hey Brother by Avicii!)

***

Stan and Ford are ten years old, and every one of their birthdays has been shared.

Every year, from the second the final school bell rings and onwards, the twins’ number one priority is planning the best birthday ever — what type of cake they want, which comic issues each of them should beg their parents for in order to maximize their combined yield, how they want to spend the day in order to make it the best day of the whole year.

Other kids at school seem to feel sorry for them, like having to share your birthday ruins all the fun of it, but to Stan and Ford, sharing has always been the whole point. With a twin, you’ve always got someone just as dedicated as you are to making your birthday perfect.

They’d never want it any other way.

Stan and Ford are seventeen years old, ready for their final year of high school, and as always they spend their birthday together. Today, they’re using the morning to work on the boat.

Freedom is tantalizingly close — just one more year of school, one more year of putting up with Dad. It feels just barely out of reach, just barely over the horizon.

If they time this thing right, and put in enough work, they might be able to complete the repairs just in time to sail out of town on the very day they turn eighteen. It’ll be a poetic and dramatic exit, as they journey onwards to clearer waters and grander adventures.

Just the two of them, going wherever they want to go. Stan can’t wait.

Stan (and Ford) are eighteen years old, and they aren’t spending their birthday together this year.

Ford is probably with his family — or maybe he’s already headed out to college and made new friends replacements there, for all Stan knows…

No, don’t waste time thinking about that, it won’t end well. The only thing Stan knows is that for the first time in his life, he’s spending his birthday alone, and he doesn’t have any idea what to do. Birthdays without Ford are a foreign concept to him, like an entirely new holiday that he’s never celebrated before, and he just feels empty.

Eventually, he settles on going to the nearest comic store and blowing his dwindling supplies of cash on the installments he’s missed over the past few months. He ends up not even having enough money to both get fully caught up and eat tomorrow, so he only buys a few issues — but it’s still enough to put a smile on his face that evening, even if that smile is only brought about by indulging in denial, by pretending he’s back home and everything with Ford is just as it’s always been.

Stan (and Ford) are twenty, twenty-five, thirty years old, and Stan still treats himself for his birthday however he can most years — if not the fifteenth, then the eighteenth, or even the twenty-eighth if it takes him that long to get ahold of a few spare dollars. And many years, he enjoys himself, but on others it just isn’t worth the painful memories that always tend to surface.

He’s realizing that sharing your date of birth with someone isn’t so fun after all, if you’re not sharing the celebration too.

Stan is thirty-one years old, and he doesn’t know if Ford is too because he doesn’t know if Ford’s even alive.

Summer is peak tourist season, so he has plenty of cash to spare, but he doesn’t do anything to celebrate when his birthday rolls around. He briefly has the notion that he should buy a cake and bring it downstairs to the portal room, but he discards the idea just as quickly. It just hurts to much to acknowledge.

Stan is fifty-two years old, and has been for nearly a month now as he gives Soos a reassuring pat on the back. The kid’s tears slow down a little, but not enough.

“Hey now, what’s the matter? Do you need to go home, ‘cause… well, it pains me to say this, but you haven’t missed a day of work since I’ve hired you, and I guess I could give you one day off with full pay…”

Soos shakes his head. “Nuh-uh. I — I don’t wanna be at home today.”

“Uh…” That surprises Stan, because as far as he knows Soos has a pretty idyllic home life with a grandmother who does nothing but dote on him — but if Stan has to curse out an old lady for reducing Soos to a bawling wreck, then he’ll do it, damn it. He’s cursed out stranger characters before.

There’s a sharp rap on the door — specifically the door to the private side of the Mystery Shack, not the side that’s open to tourists.

“Shoot, I gotta get this. Be right back,” Stan tells Soos, tossing him a box of tissues on the way out. Soos makes no effort to catch them, and the box bounces off his shoulder with a thwack as Stan cringes internally and hurries to the back porch.

And speak of the devil, it’s Soos’s Abuelita who’s waiting for him there, anxiously fidgeting with the straps of her apron.

“Has Soos come into work today?” she asks. “He said he would take the day off for his birthday party this afternoon, but he is not at home!”

Oh. So it’s a birthday thing.

“Yeah, I think I saw him swing by today,” Stan answers slowly. “I’ll go find him for you.”

“Thank you! I was so worried…”

Stan heads back inside, and sits down on the ground next to Soos even though his back protests against him with a burst of pain.

“Hey, kid. Your Abuelita’s looking for you.”

Soos buries his head in his hands, and mumbles something incomprehensible.

“Not a fan of birthday parties, huh? It’s okay… I’m not either.”

Soos looks up. “Really?”

Stan looks away. “Yeah, they’re just… not my thing.”

“My dad always promises he’d come visit on my birthday,” Soos mumbles. “But then he never does…”

“Oh, kid. I’m so sorry about that.” Stan pauses, and then throws an arm over Soos’s shoulder.

“I get it,” he whispers. “When it’s supposed to be the greatest day of the year for you, but then the people you care about — or the people you want to care about you — aren’t there, year after year, then it… it really wears you down.”

“Does your family never visit you on your birthday, Mr. Pines?”

“Uh… yeah. Yeah, something like that.”

Soos wraps his arms around Stan’s chest, trapping him in a surprisingly tight hug.

“I thought I was the only one who hated my birthday,” he whispers. “I’m sorry your family’s like that, Mr. Pines, but… I’m glad I’m not the only one.”

Stan is sixty-one years old, and he’s perfected the art of doing nice things for himself in early June and then lying to himself about it.

The party’s just a moneymaking scheme, nothing more. Getting to dance all night and eat marshmallows and other junk food? Those are just bonuses, and the timing? Falling exactly on the fifteenth of June? Well, that’s definitely just a coincidence.

Mabel is a whirlwind of energy and excitement on the dance floor, having apparently made some new friends, and Dipper is who-knows-where, probably off shirking his responsibilities and making trouble. They’re both good kids — their weirdness and stubbornness and just general twin-ness is a comforting kind of familiar on some days, and a worrying kind of familiar on others, but that’s not their fault. They don’t know.

Something about the presence of the younger twins tells Stan that it’s this summer that everything will finally change, though. That this is the last birthday that he’ll spend alone, unable to share.

Stan and Ford are both sixty-one, and all of those years have only led up to this. To the sky being ripped apart, and a demon burning the town to the ground.

“We used to be like Dipper and Mabel,” Ford says. “The world's about to end and they still work together. How do they do it?”

“Easy, they’re kids,” Stan tells him. “They don’t know any better.”

Ford stands up, a determined but wistful look in his eyes.

“Whoa, where you going?”

“I'm going to play the only card we have left — let Bill into my mind,” Ford explains. “He'll be able to take over the galaxy, and maybe even worse… but at least he might let the kids free.”

“What? Are you kidding me?! Are you honestly telling me there's nothing else we can do?!”

“Bill's only weak in the mindspace. If I didn't have this darn plate in my head —” Ford makes a fist and hits the side of his skull for emphasis, producing a metallic clang. “— we could just erase him with the memory gun when he steps inside my mind.”

“What if he goes into my mind? My brain isn’t good for anything.”

Ford chuckles sadly. “There's nothing in your mind he wants. It has to be me. We need to take his deal, it's the only way he'll agree to save you and the kids.”

“Do you really think he’s gonna make good on that deal?”

Ford sighs. “What other choice do we have?”

“You could… holy shit, Ford, quick! Put on my clothes!”

“Excuse me?!”

Stan takes off his fez and slaps it on Ford’s head. “If we switch places, Bill can go in my mind and then you can erase him! If it fooled all our teachers, why can’t it fool a demon?”

Ford throws the fez to the ground and grabs him by the shoulders, and Stan braces himself for a reply of you idiot, that’ll never work, don’t you think I would have thought of that myself if it would? — but he’s left completely unprepared for the words that actually come out of Ford’s mouth, quiet and slow and afraid in a way Stan hasn’t heard in decades:

“Stanley, that won’t just erase Bill. It’ll erase you.”

“But will it work?” Stan doesn’t even need to ask — Ford has a certain gleam in his eyes, a certain look of awe upon his face that only appears when he’s truly blown away by a revelation that never occurred to him, but makes all the sense in the world. It’s a look that’s partially obscured behind an expression of fear, of guilt, of desperation — but it’s definitely there.

“It will work,” Ford whispers, “but I don’t want to lose you.”

“It’s either erasing one idiot’s memories or letting a lot of people die, Ford! We’re — we’re running out of time, damn it!”

Ford stares at the ground as he begins to pull off his trenchcoat. “I’m so sorry, Stan.”

“I am too, Ford.”

A man wakes up in a clearing and remembers nothing, least of all his age.

Strangers approach him, cry over him, call him a hero and hug him uncomfortably tight, and he doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know what to say.

Ford, the older man, tells him that his name is Stanley, and that the two of them are brothers, that they’re twins, but something about the realization rings hollow. Any connection Stan might’ve once had with this man has since been severed, leaving them to share a face, a birthday, and nothing more.

…Or at least, that’s what one would think, because surely a disoriented and confused shell of a man with ill-fitting clothes and no memories can’t be a brother to anyone, not in any of the ways that truly matter — but when Stan looks at Ford and sees him staring off into the distance with a defeated frown on his face, looks at any of these strangers and sees them in anguish… his heart feels like it’s about to be torn in two. So maybe, just maybe, some fragment of a connection has persisted.

He tries to lighten the mood, to no avail, and tries to remember the scenes in the scrapbook the girl shows him — and when words start spilling out of his mouth on instinct, he’s relieved not for himself, but for the others. (For his family.)

He’s relieved when he sees them start to smile, to hope, and finally thinks Yeah, these faces look familiar.

Stan and Ford are sixty-two years old, and they blow out the candles on their birthday cake together as Dipper takes pictures and Mabel showers both of them in confetti.

“Mabel, sweetie, that’s kind of a fire hazard,” Stan warns her. “You know, with the candles and all —”

“Oh, it’s fine,” Ford cuts in. “We all know where the fire extinguisher is, don’t we?”

“Yeah, because you’ve already come seconds away from blowing us into the stratosphere twice this summer!”

They laugh, and then Stan and Ford argue over who gets to cut the cake, but there’s no malice behind the words. It’s just the usual sibling banter — one of the many little things that Stan and Ford have found themselves appreciating more than ever this past year, after having gone so long without it.

Everyone is stuffed except for Stan, who’s cleaning out the last few spoonfuls from a tub of ice cream, when Ford pours one last glass of milk and raises it towards Stan like one would for a toast.

“Here’s to more birthdays together,” he says, and Stan hastily picks up his own cups to clink it against Ford’s. It’s not a very satisfying clink, since both cups are plastic, but it’s good enough. It’s the sentiment that really makes the toast, after all.

“To more birthdays together,” Stan echoes.

***

Endnotes:

Thanks for reading, feedback and reblogs are appreciated as always! I realize Stan acted in Blendin’s Game like he didn’t know what caused Soos to hate his birthday, but I feel like it’s plausible he wouldn’t have wanted to share something so personal with the others if Soos clearly didn’t want to talk about it (and also I wrote that scene before realizing this potential continuity issue and just really wanted to keep that dialogue).

Anyways, I could go on and on about how much these two stubborn old men mean to me, but to keep it brief, thinking and writing about them has helped me through a bunch of rough patches, so I felt like it was about time to write something for their birthday (which I’d hoped to do last year, but writer’s block was a bitch). I’m so proud of this whole dumb fictional family, and I had the biggest smile imaginable on my face while I was writing that scene of pure fluff at the end :’)