#Gon is also a kind hearted boy who wants to be good enough for his dad to pay attention to him

[pupperish]

I genuinely don't think this guy has watched HxH cause this wrong of an opinion is baffling

[staytinyville]

I.N

PLEASE REFER TO MASTERLIST TO GET FULL TAROT READING EXPERIENCE

↣ Summary: You were someone who knew that you had to put in hard work to reach the spot you needed to. You were finding out that you had admirers over it. 

↣ Characters/Pairing: Yang Jeongin x gn!reader

↣ Genre: fluff

↣ AU/Trope info: idol!au, 9th member!au

↣ Word Count: 873

↣ Warnings: None

↣ A/N: I love IN so much. He’s my Stray Kids Bias next to Seungmin. I also whole heartedly believe that man is a dom. There is no smut here but he gon pull a Jungkook lol.

THE CHARIOT

Control, Willpower, Success, Action, Determination

With the fact that you now know what it is you want, now all you need is the journey to get there. With your willpower and control over your own being you will be successful in reaching your goal.

The main point of this card is that you need to keep the focus while continuing on in your goal. Much like driving a car you have to be careful of everything around you.

You are someone who is courageous and brave so that means that the journey you are taking should be an easy one if you know that kind of person you are. Be bold in what you do and how you do it.

VII THE CHARIOT

You felt your heart beating rapidly as you tried to take in breaths. Your muscles were aching but you wanted to keep going. “Alright guys! We're done for the day.” The dance teacher called out to all of you. 

As the others were getting ready to leave the studio and enjoy some dinner, you stayed behind to drink a bit of water. While they had all made their way out, you were left in the room alone with one other. 

“(Y/N)?” Jeongin called out to you. “Do you wanna go out to eat?” He asked. 

You had gotten close to the youngest of the group because of the way he seemed to hold himself. He was a shy boy at first but once you got to know he was such a joy to be around. He might not be a sunshine like Felix was but I.N had his own light that brought everyone in. 

He called for your attention. He wanted it in the way he walked but once he had it he acted as though he didn’t need it. It made you laugh at how he made people think he was an innocent boy when really he knew how to get people to like him without trying. 

“I'll eat later, Innie.” You smiled at him. “Imma try to get some of the routine down better.”

“Don't push yourself.” You almost cooed at his frown. 

“I won't.” You got up, bounding over to him. “I know better.” 

When you turned to get to the stereo, you noticed he was putting down his things and stretching for a moment. “What are you doing?” You asked him. 

“I'm going to stay and help you.” His smile made your heart flutter. “Nothing wrong with a little bit of extra practice.”

“You don't have to.” You told him. 

“It's okay.” He shrugged. “Besides, I want to go out with you anyways.”

You laughed a little as you became flustered. “Okay.” You looked down to the floor with a smile. 

And so you and I.N danced for another hour laughing as you guys spent a good while just goofing off. It made the whole practice better–being able to laugh things off with him. You had always liked the way he sang. The classes you took with him for vocal lessons had you watching him in awe. And watching him dance honestly made you feel heated. But that’s how you felt about all of the boys. 

“That's enough for the day.” You grinned, leaning over the panting boy. “We can go to eat.”

After getting showered and meeting up in the lobby of JYP, you both made your way down to a small restaurant that was open. It was a nice thing and you were glad he had waited for you to finish. You like it better when you ate with other people. You were excited how dorm life would  be like. 

“You're really into this.” Jeongin began. “I like that about you. You have so much motivation for this whole thing it's hard to keep up with you.”

“I try not to go too hard.” You told him, taking some kimchi. “It sucks to burn yourself out.”

“There are a lot of people who do that.” I.N nodded to himself. “Chan Hyung said it when he was a trainee they did that a lot.”

“Yeah, I don't want to end up like those people.” You smiled softly. “But honestly doing this means I'm ready for what's to come. I know if I keep at it things will go my way in the end.” You looked up at him, grinning. “Gotta keep a positive mind over it.”

“Like me staying with you to go out to eat?” He asked with a teasing smile.

“You really wanted me to?” You raised a brow.

“You're pretty cool.” He shrugged. “Almost as cool as Hyunjin.”

Hwang Hyunjin the boy who made everyone swoon with his good looks. You wished you could reach his level of attractiveness. Most of you all had a crush on him the day you met. But I.N was pretty obvious with it–at least his admiration for him. 

“No one is as cool as he is.” You laughed. 

“He's kind of dramatic though.” I.N added. 

“But very handsome.” You pointed out. 

“He is.” He sighed deeply, nodding along with your statement. 

Hyunjin might have been a handsome boy, but your type were the ones who had braces and the youngest of the groups. 

You suddenly grinned, reaching over to poke his forehead lightly. “You are too!” You giggled. “I think you're very adorable.”

“I am not!” He whined, jokingly rubbing at the spot you poked. 

“Yes you are!” You continued. “You can call yourself whatever you want but to me you are super cute and adorable.” You sat back down in your seat, expression turning soft. 

“I like that about you.” You admitted. 

His cheeks turned bright red causing you to smile. You had a long road ahead of you but you were glad to have the boys along your side. And you couldn’t help but to have a crush on one of them. 

“I'll show you!” He whined.

“I'm excited for it!”

Tags : @cultofdionysusnet , @sandsofire , @k-vanity

[tennessoui]

I've been rereading bed warden, bed warmer and this is just top tier:

“Caluo is the love of her life. He’s going to give up everything for her. He—Alic couldn’t even leave behind his spice ring when she asked him to.”

“Alic needed the credits!” Obi-Wan argues back. “He was saving his credits for a life with her! Caluo abandoning his oath to serve the Jedi Order is nott exactly a ringing endorsement for his ability to commit!”

“Well, Caluo probably already has those credits saved up! And Caluo is a good man! He’s kind, he’s—he’s noble! Well-read! He saved her life and then went to all of her shows. They’ve got more in common—”

“Alic is the better choice,” Obi-Wan shakes his head. “He’s hardworking and earnest, and he has a good heart. He would have treated her right. Junyla started and ended the story dissatisfied with her life and her circumstances, but that’s not Alic’s fault. He’s—”

Anakin crosses his arms. “He’s nothing special. And Junyla even said Caluo was better in bed. That stuff’s important in a relationship.”

ahhh lmao i had so much fun writing bed warden, bed warmer because most of the fic and its entire premise is just a LIL ridiculous. it's based on an angsty prompt (obi-wan is hurt because of the actions of Anakin & Qui-Gon because the villain knows hurting himm will hurt them the most)

but december kit was feeling much more silly so most of bed warden, bed warmer can be boiled down to "obi-wan kenobi is probably a terrible patient and anakin skywalker loves him just enough that he can be convinced out of killing him for sport because of it but boy is it close at times"

i enjoyed the hell out of the idea that anakin downloaded all these boring history books to read to obi-wan, but then instead they form a bookclub to read jedi erotic and end up on different teams (Team Alic vs Team Caluo) when it's obvious they like their guy because he reminds them of the other and who wouldn't want to be with someone like anakin alic? someone like obi-wan caluo???

also just picturing virgin anakin stoically reading through awful smut while obi-wan lounges on the bed and asks questions/asks him to repeat a passage he thinks he didn't quite understand the metaphor there, thank you anakin. ah yes i understand what the author was referring to as his lightsaber now. bless.' like the asshole obi-wan is in this fic cracks me tf up

send me a blurb/bit of one of my fic and i'll talk about what i was thinking when i wrote it/behind the scenes information for it

(from this ask game)

[daisyachain]

HXH vol 1-3 notes

Every line is snapped to a curve. Every shape is filled to the brim with whatever hatching or ink it’s meant to have. The tightest manga you’ll ever see. And then the lizard is so beautifully watercoloured that you can feel the scales

The hand-drawn backgrounds make it apparent how much of backgrounds in current manga are 3D modelled/photo edits. This is not a bad thing for modern manga. I like to see a beautiful quotidian setting that a poor overworked assistant did not die to produce. It’s also so so cute to have the simple cartoony bushes

Gon is (: a treat to have for a main character. He’s so interesting! A little boy who is not all there

First time around HXH I loved it and it stuck in my brain but only Kurapika, and I was still so hung up on Yorknew that I didn’t really register or understand the rest of it. Downsides to HXH basically being 2 totally separate arcs quilted together (they did say it had a JJBA influence…)

Poor Aunt Mito. More evidence that Gon is a little…

I had 100% forgotten Kite got introduced here

Leorio is 19????? This makes sense…

Different stories exist on different planes of reality and disbelief. HxH exists on the single top plane of disbelief. The tone and content are impossible to reconcile so you just have to let go of any kind of expectation and be free!

The Hunter Exam arc lasts longer than expected

How on earrrtth can they run that far. That is 2 marathons. And then summer camp starts (see aforementioned disbelief)

Body count is Mad High (see aforementioned disbelief). People just keep dying!

This may be my chance to separate Hisoka entirely from anime/Heaven’s Arena ver. and see why he’s my sister’s favourite

The ♦️unique speech bubbles ♣️ are certainly ♠️ a charm point ♥️

Imagining voices to go with the characters is a challenge. They are all so big-eyed and squeaky in my head. At the same time I remember being 12 and what the 12-year-olds in my class sounded like

My youthful Kurapika obsession hasn’t faded. Sorry mutuals. He’s well-spoken.

Culinary challenge minigame is a bit weak

Midnight game is v fun. Bonding time.

HxH is the most video game a thing can get without being a video game. The blobby shapes. The simple backgrounds. The vivid green of a Pokémon or BotW. The levelling up. I don’t know enough about games to be sure but I want to say that it consciously steals Pokémon’s look

The hunt is on!! Great tension in Gon’s pursuit. I was waiting with bated breath

‘197’ <- I did chuckle

Leorio is the failed main character who never actually gets an arc, but the role he plays is to bring everyone else together. He can’t do it himself. We have to help him together. He needs to stick around or else they’d all shake hands and never again see each other. He is a babysitter not much older than a baby himself

Gon and Kurapika’s bond is so sweet! Underrated axis of character relations. Kurapika always has an answer to Gon’s questions (even if it’s wrong) while Gon opens a whole new world of problem-solving for a vengeance-fixated teen. They care about each other very much, even if it’s just because Gon cares about everyone and even if Kurapika isn’t going to let it go beyond casual cooperation

Hiss-o-ka. Feel sorry for the guy who was just trying to get his license (see aforementioned disbelief)

I don’t know what roles Illumi and Hisoka play with respect to one another and at this point I’m not going to ask. Drinking buddies.

Killua time! Eat your heart out, everyone else

Leorio almost solved his puzzle in a remarkably clever way. Rip.

HxH has a world you should never think about for more than 5 seconds

Off to be final…

Another remarkable blast of tonal dissonance. Yay! Hanzo broke his arm for the greater good (?). The creepiness of the situation does heighten Gon’s wrongness so it works

Killua and Gon’s relationship is the bedrock of the story. I do not remember it being so explicitly stated or so early

‘There has to be something you want in the world that is strong enough that you will break away from us’ well.

Zoldyk arc! A classic. Silva is despicable. I feel like this one went a little better in the animation with the dark colouring and the saturated hues.

Killua breaking out of the dungeon is the scene in so many ways. He can leave, he just needs a reason

Gon HxH and Oz PH have some similarities and Gon HxH and Alice PH have some similarities

Alluka already exists. Illumi- Milluki - Killua - [REDACTED] - Kalluto

Most of what I am feeling during the read is sad for Killua

There’s a bit of a balance of power between narrator characters and main/protagonist/active characters. Narrators are aware of the consequences of the protagonist’s actions as well as where they fit into an overarching narrative, narrators can rationalize and contextualize the seemingly random events around them. Because Gon doesn’t understand any of this, he needs a narrator (Kurapika or Killua). Killua is doomed to be aware of what Gon is doing to him and what is happening to Gon. He can’t tell him, he can’t escape it, he doesn’t want to, his role is to Observe and Know the way his entire self is being warped, and he legally can’t do anything about it because he is not the protagonist

Off to Heaven’s Arena…

[luvvewan]

promptsssssss!!!

13: “Just listen to the sound of my voice.” 🥺🙏❤️

Thank you for the prompt, @sanerontheinside ! I went full Obi-whump, so I hope you like it.

—

The healer crouched at the edge of the bunk and took Obi-Wan’s bare feet in his hands.

Obi-Wan cried out, trying to pull away from the touch, twisting in the blankets.

“Caht, nah.” The elderly man, Hagit, said softly. He glanced up at Qui-Gon. “Numo.”

Qui-Gon had garnered only a handful of words in the native tongue, but he didn’t need to know what the healer said; he could see it in his eyes. Pity. For Obi-Wan, yes. But also for him? Fear lodged in his throat.

“Evvi, eh. Uh…here. Boy…numo.” Hagit motioned to Obi-Wan’s foot.

“Keep him still, Master Jedi, please.” Evvi, their young interpreter and Hagit’s grand-niece, translated. “He sees the spine in the left heel.”

Qui-Gon suppressed a shudder and turned away, leaning over his insensate student. Obi-Wan’s face was covered in sweat, eyes half-lidded, lips cracked and quivering. His Learner’s braid had plastered itself to Obi-Wan’s pale neck and chest. Qui-Gon smoothed it carefully between his fingers. “You are doing very well, Padawan. Just stay still. I know it’s difficult but you must not move,” he used a gentle voice better suited for younglings, despite the fact Obi-Wan was twenty three years old and a newly senior apprentice.

He watched Obi-Wan try to look at him, but another wave of pain erupted through their connection in the Force, and his eyes rolled back. Qui-Gon absorbed what he could, wanting to take it all, though even the echoes of Obi-Wan’s agony were enough to make him briefly light-headed.

He noticed Hagit was speaking again, a distant noise. Evvi said something back to him, then Qui-Gon heard several small, hesitant steps. A hand touched his arm.

“I’m sorry, Master Jedi. Removal is very painful and delicate. He does not want the spine to break apart while still in the foot. It will release more poison.” Evvi explained. “Can you hold him down?”

Obi-Wan was more powerful than his small frame would suggest. The pain and delirium made him combative, and when Qui-Gon gripped his arms he thrashed and snarled. He had never seen Obi-Wan, obedient and self-possessed Obi-Wan, untethered this way. Fingernails raked down his forearm, tore at his robe sleeves.

Sedation was not possible. The medical supplies were limited anyway. They were lucky to have Hagit, who was old enough to remember when the stone-fish were plentiful, before a plague wiped them out. Now it was exceedingly rare to catch a stone-fish on the shore, due to both its near-extinction and impressive camouflage. Obi-Wan had accompanied some of the village’s children to the water, or really they had accompanied him, starry-eyed at the presence of an offworlder, a Jedi. He had been stepping along a path of craggy rocks leading to the ocean when his foot landed on a stone-fish, its spiny, algae-crusted body hidden amongst the rocks and sand.

The pain had been immediate. The children had run, screaming, for help. By the time Qui-Gon found him, Obi-Wan was screaming too.

Other villagers had come. Among them was Hagit, helped along by Evvi at his elbow, his grey eyes milky and grave. Obi-Wan was administered a general anti-venom there on the beach, already overwhelmed by the agony that radiated from his foot through his entire body.

Evvi had told Qui-Gon the poison was brutal and quick. It was not always fatal, but it triggered something nearly as cruel: most victims were gripped by an unbearable sense of dread, demanding to be killed before the poison could fully take them.

From his admittedly foggy calculations, it had been close to an hour since Obi-Wan was attacked. Qui-Gon’s stomach lurched. He did not look behind him, where he knew Hagit was hovering at the wound site, arthritic hands shaking, preparing to perform a task of great precision.

“Still, Master Jedi. He must be still.”

He brought the Force to bear down on his Padawan while using his own brute strength to pin Obi-Wan’s wrists back onto the bunk. Obi-Wan whimpered and moaned, whipping his head to the side. Tears streamed freely down his face, snot and sweat dripping from his nose.

“Help!” He kicked his legs, trying to free himself from the healer’s grasp.

Hagit made a sharp noise under his breath, likely a swear.

“Obi-Wan, listen to me! We’re trying to help you!” He barked hoarsely, wiping sweat from his own brow before straddling his Padawan and laying over top of him, using his weight to hold him down. Their heads were pressed together and Obi-Wan wept and keened in his ear.

Qui-Gon’s heart found new ways to break. The Force was overrun with panic and hopelessness. Obi-Wan twitched and fought under him, desperate to get freed. Qui-Gon tried to use a sleep suggestion but his Padawan’s aura was clouded, elusive.

And time was draining away. He imagined the spine lodged in Obi-Wan’s tender heel, the poison seeping into his blood and causing more damage. “Just…breathe with me, Padawan, alright? There is no pain, there is the Force.”

“I can’t.” Obi-Wan whimpered.

He turned his head and pressed a kiss to Obi-Wan’s temple. “Leave it to me, then. Trust in me, young one. Whatever else is happening…it doesn’t matter. Just listen to the sound of my voice.”

He knew it was a risk, to appeal to the dutiful instinct in Obi-Wan that very well might be overridden by poison-fueled anxiety. But what else could he do? Hold his delirious student down with every last bit of strength he possessed, and possibly break his bones in the process?

Obi-Wan bucked against him, sniffling and gasping. “It won’t stop it won’t stop oh gods…”

“Shhh,” Qui-Gon smoothed his damp hair. “You are so far away from that, aren’t you? Safe with me. Safe and very tired. Only you and only me, far away.”

Nerveless fingers clutched at him. “M-Make it stop make it stop I can’t—“

“Of course I will. Hold onto me and keep your legs very still. You can do that, I know you can. Put your arms around me and hold on, as tight as you can.” Qui-Gon blinked back the sweat pouring into his eyes, body vibrating with hope and dread as Obi-Wan slowly obeyed. “That’s it. Now I want you to keep the rest of your body very, very still, Padawan. Do you understand?”

Obi-Wan heaved an exhausted sob, but nodded. His arms gripped around Qui-Gon’s back while his legs gradually relaxed on the bunk.

Hagit murmured to himself. Evvi touched Qui-Gon’s leg.

In the stuffy little room, everyone tacitly understood what would happen next.

Qui-Gon felt Obi-Wan begin to tense. “Far away,” he continued, as if there had been no interruption. “We can go anywhere, can’t we? We’ve been to so many places together.”

“Nuh, Evvi.”

“Uncle says now, Master Jedi.”

Qui-Gon closed his eyes and released his fear to the Force. “Where do you want to go, Obi-Wan? I remember you enjoying Alderaan, with all the beautiful trees. The people there were so kind, weren’t they?” He did his best not to think of the fragile procedure happening inches away. His muscles shook, ready to react if necessary. He knew once Hagit began removing the spine it could not be halted. “I can’t remember…did we visit in the summer or winter?”

Obi-Wan was holding onto him for dear life, strangled moans catching in his throat.

My brave boy, Qui-Gon thought to himself. The pain was unreal. He couldn’t begin to comprehend what it felt like for Obi-Wan.

“Kill me Master Master oh Force I can’t…”

Qui-Gon squeezed him close. He thought of what Evvi had said--the poor victims who begged for death. He had not thought Obi-Wan would reach that point. But even the Force could not insulate the young man from such all-encompassing agony.

Obi-Wan wept openly against Qui-Gon’s neck. “Master, Qui-Gon...it’s moving..what….what is it doing..?”

“Don’t move,” Qui-Gon warned. “Do you want to go to Alderaan? Or someplace else? Someplace warm?”

They had just finished an extended mission on a frigid planet, yet Obi-Wan shook his head. “N-No deserts.”

Qui-Gon chuckled. Obi-Wan sunburned easily, returning from desert assignments with pink cheeks and ears. “Of course not. No, someplace cool enough to sleep out under the stars. Kodasta, perhaps? Remember how the stars seemed so close, as if we could nearly touch them?”

Obi-Wan clutched at the robe on Qui-Gon’s back. “Y-Yes…ahhh…”

“What was the constellation you saw? I can’t remember. It was quite rare, wasn’t it? I’m never any good at that but you spotted it right away. What was it called?”

“…Th-The El…usive Mage.”

“Oh yes. That was it.”

Obi-Wan moaned into Qui-Gon’s shoulder.

Qui-Gon held him steady. The pain was beyond excruciating and Qui-Gon could only feel the edge of it; Obi-Wan had long since given up any attempts at shielding from him. It was a testament to Obi-Wan’s endurance that he had not passed out.

“Nearly done,” Evvi said.

Thank the Force. “You’re doing so well, Padawan,” Qui-Gon praised him quietly. “Keep right here with me, can you see the Mage? Close your eyes and see if it’s there.”

“M-Master…”

“I know. But we are so far away from that, aren’t we? Among the stars on Kodasta. I see them when I close my eyes. Close your eyes and you’ll see them too. No, no, you can’t twitch like that. Squeeze me instead. That’s better. Now look for the Mage with me. Help me see it.”

“Ugh…” Obi-Wan groaned and panted. “Mmmmph…”

Qui-Gon could not let their progress unravel, not now. “Is it there, towards the left?”

For several strained seconds, Obi-Wan made harsh, pained sounds and struggled for breath. Then, finally: “Y-Yes. You have to…un…ah…unfocus your eyes to see. Look for the hat f-first.”

Qui-Gon smiled, blinking back the tears gathering in his eyes. “Ah, of course.”

“It’s out, Master Jedi.”

“I see it now, Obi-Wan. It’s beautiful.”

His Padawan sagged under him, unconscious.

—

Qui-Gon went to the shore and walked along the rock paths, fingers hooked in his belt. The stone-fish had been immediately killed, its remaining spines safely collected and the rest of it burned by a few of the villagers. Evvi told him some of the men searched the beach until dawn, out of caution.

They had not come across a single other stone-fish. Obi-Wan’s foot had apparently found the only specimen on the entire beach.

But then, Obi-Wan had always been blessed with a particular sort of luck.

He came to the place where Obi-Wan was stung. Specks of blood stained the rocks there. His instinct was to throw them into the ocean.

Instead, Qui-Gon left everything as it was, sea spray misting his cheeks as he turned back towards the village.

—

When he returned to the little cottage, Hagit was sitting at a sun-bleached wooden table in the kitchen. The red-tinged spine, still full of venom, was sealed in a plastibag and held loosely in his liver-spotted hands.

Hagit looked up at Qui-Gon. He was quite old, skin sagging and eyes permanently wet.

“Boy…yes.” Hagit nodded firmly at him.

Qui-Gon found it difficult to swallow. He bowed before the healer. “Graz-ta,” he said. Thank you.

—

Obi-Wan was curled up on the bunk. A heavy blanket was wrapped around him, his bandaged foot sticking out from the bottom. Though he had improved since the day before, his face still looked drained of its color.

Qui-Gon glanced around the quiet, dark room. He noticed Obi-Wan’s clothes and boots tucked under a chair. Evvi had done it, probably, but it was still a familiar sight, reminding him of how Obi-Wan tended to neatly fold his tunics, no matter where they found themselves. His heart tightened; he let it pass. He knew he would feel this way after such a close call. Small, tender things about Obi-Wan were going to strike him at odd times—he knew that, unfortunately, from experience.

Like the way he would hold his braid between his fingers when he slept. Qui-Gon could not recall Feemor or Xanatos ever doing that.

He sat on the bunk beside Obi-Wan and listened to the quaint sounds of life beyond the door. He appreciated the borrowed sense of domesticity that came with staying in family houses: home cooking, careworn sheets, a calmness and mildness in the Force. He wished they could stay here until Obi-Wan fully recovered from his ordeal, but the Council had already sent them their next assignment.

Qui-Gon brushed his fingers against Obi-Wan’s forehead. Glassy grey eyes fluttered open.

“Only a slight fever now,” Qui-Gon told him.

Obi-Wan kept his braid laced between his fingers. He looked swallowed up by the thick weave of the blanket and the night shirt that was several sizes too big. Or was it simply the absence of Jedi trappings that made it more obvious that he was young, human and fragile? “Well,” he croaked, voice ruined from prolonged screaming followed by prolonged silence, “I didn’t die.”

Qui-Gon tried to laugh, but it came out as an awkward huff. He touched Obi-Wan’s cheek. “No. You seem very much alive to me.”

Obi-Wan smiled, his eyes already drifting closed. “I didn’t sense it. The…ah…thing.”

“Neither did I,” Qui-Gon admitted, gazing out the window above Obi-Wan’s head. The villagers had searched the beach, but who could search all of the sea? He began to think of other dangers on other worlds, the unnamed masses of threats that awaited Obi-Wan in his life, on their next mission, even tomorrow. “If we could sense everything, our lives would be much easier.”

“Mmmhmmm. Less interesting?”

“I’m slipping. You’re guessing my lessons before I can give them.”

“Mm, but I can…always sense you, Master.” Obi-Wan mumbled. He would be asleep soon.

Qui-Gon leaned forward until their foreheads touched. “May the Force be with you, my Padawan.”

—

They rarely dreamed together, but that night they did, climbing through constellations in the dark sky, safely above the sea.

[babyyweebbitch]

Heyaa ! I hope you’re doing well :) may I request a comfort one shot with Lester Sinclair and an s/o who’s worried that his brothers won’t like them?

I’m doing well, And sure! This seems like a very cute idea honestly

Y/N and You used for reader

“Example” - Lester speaking

“Example” - reader speaking

Word count: 645

It has been a few weeks since you and Lester called it official with your relationship. You wanted to meet the Twins Lesters older brothers but you were scared for many reasons…. What if they don’t like you? What if they hurt you? What if they don’t want Lester dating you? So many what if’s came through your head and you sat thinking for weeks about this. Lester eventually noticed how you’ve been obsessing over these thoughts

“Darlin’? Wha’s the matter?” Said Lester from the doorway of your shared bedroom, his accent was very thick but oddly soothing to you. You can hear the sound of his heavy footsteps coming closer to you and placing his hand on your back, you sat on the bed staring at the floor hands clasped together. Lester could sense something wrong when he saw how you were sitting and didn’t even get up when he entered the room.

“Hey Lester….?” You began as you felt the side Of the bed dip down a bit and the hand of your boyfriend rubbed your shoulder “do you think your brothers will like me?” You ask in a soft tone, your voice was so gentle asking this question It reminded Lester of how his mother spoke to him and Vincent at times, sometimes to Bo but it was rare since Bo was kind of a disruptive kid and got in trouble a lot

“Oh hun…. Ya don’t gotta worry ‘bout that ‘t all! They’ll love ya!” Lester reassured you, you still had some doubts in your mind “listen, darlin’ everythin’s gon’ be fine! My brothers will love ya, I promise” his hand gently gripping ontop your forearm and you gave a small chuckle. Lester didn’t know it at times but he had a weird way of comforting you whenever you thought bad or something. Lester was naturally comforting even towards his older brothers, out of all three of the boys he was the most comforting and gentle always dealing with his brothers either arguing or helping Bo after he got in trouble by their parents

“You sure? What if they —“ Lester was quick to sush you and pull you into his chest, rubbing the back of you head with one hand and the other on your back. You wrapped your arms around Lesters abdomen area and the feeling of being close to the person you love most felt so calming to you, his warmth, the steady beating of his heart in his chest, his slow breathing….. everything just felt so perfect. You started to calm down a bit with your thoughts

“If they didn’t like ya, they wouldn’ wanna meet ‘cha… Those two ‘specially Vincent would love ta meet ya and all that good stuff! Everythin’ will be ‘right” Lester spoke falling back onto the bed with you snug up against him “c’mon sweetpea, lighten up a lil’ bit! Tomorrow we’re gonna go huntin’! Ya always ask t’ go with me so we’re goin’” he said with a grin on his face, your (eye colour) eyes lit up like you’ve just walked into a candy store or a dog adoption place. You looked up at him with the face asking if he was serious, “mmhmm! So, get some beauty sleep, y’er gonna need it” you can feel Lesters lower half moving a bit then hear the sound of his boots hitting the floor before feeling him pull the covers over both of your bodies

“I love you….” You spoke softly as you snuggled closer to him, then you heard his snoring. Lester was always able to fall asleep very quickly it took some getting used to after the first week of sleeping with him but eventually you got used to it and thought it was adorable, you reached your hand over and turned off the lamp then kissed his cheek “goofball”

I really hope that this is good enough for you! :) also this is way under 1k words 🥲 I was aiming or that but I also had no idea what else to write for this — nova

[novelmonger]

Thoughts on Jedi Apprentice 1: The Rising Force

Star Wars was my first fandom. I was introduced to the original trilogy when I was 8, and immediately fell head-over-heels in love with the story - particularly because Episode I came out shortly after. I'm one of that rare breed of Star Wars fans whose favorite movie is Episode I (it's neck-and-neck with Rogue One, but overall I think The Phantom Menace still pulls ahead). The only Star Wars poster I have in my room is from The Phantom Menace, I was overjoyed when I got a Jar-Jar Binks cake for my ninth birthday, my favorite lightsaber battle by far is Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan vs. Darth Maul, I love the Duel of the Fates and Trade Federation theme music....

So it should come as no surprise that, when I discovered the Jedi Apprentice series that covers Obi-Wan's apprenticeship with Qui-Gon, I snapped it right up. From the very first scene of TPM, I fell in love with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan's relationship, and I was devastated when Qui-Gon died and I realized we'd never get to see any more of it. Thankfully, there's a whole 18-book series targeted at young adolescent readers featuring that exact relationship! I was smack-dab in the target demographic, and for years (basically, until I discovered LotR and HP when I was 11), that was the only thing I wanted to read, think about, or talk about. When I wasn't doing school, playing Pokemon Yellow, or watching a Star Wars movie for the 10000000000000th time, I was reading these books.

Watching the Obi-Wan Kenobi miniseries has awakened so many feels, old and new, for my favorite character in the saga ;A; While I wait for the last couple episodes to come out (and for my heart to repair itself after Ewan McGregor has trampled all over it in the best possible way), I've decided to reread these old favorites. I haven't read them since my teenage years, but I still have so many fond memories of them. I'm really excited to see what new thoughts I may have, some 20-odd years after that rainy day I wandered into the back corner of the library to see what kind of Star Wars books they might have....

Jedi Apprentice #1: The Rising Force by Dave Wolverton

This is long and rambly, so I'm going to break it up into chapters, so as not to just leave a giant wall of unbroken text - or less so, anyway. (And...for if you want to read along, I guess, though I can't imagine anyone's going to do that.) I don't think I'll necessarily have thoughts for every chapter, but I guess we'll see....

Chapter 1

The book opens with Obi-Wan sparring with another youngling...whose lightsaber is red??? Who missed the memo that only bad guys can use red lightsabers? XD

"Because he was tall and strong for a twelve-year-old..." - Let's...just keep this in mind for later, shall we?

Obi-Wan's opponent in the training exercise is a boy named Bruck Chun. Poor kid. With a name like that, you're going to be relegated to being a bully forever, aren't you?

"Bruck also held grudges. A year ago, Obi-Wan had stumbled in a Temple corridor, tripping Bruck, who had fallen. ... He'd called Obi-Wan an oaf then--Oafy-Wan. The name had stuck." - Okay, that's actually a pretty clever insult for an eleven-year-old *clap clap*

Wolverton's writing of Yoda's speech quirks is...inconsistent. Take this as an example: "To defeat an enemy, you do not have to kill. Defeat the rage that burns in him, and he is your enemy no longer. Rage the true enemy is." Odd. I don't think I really noticed that before.

Chapter 2

"Obi-Wan threw himself back on his sleep-couch. He had let Master Yoda down. He had thrown away his one last chance by letting anger cloud his mind. Now his worst fear had come true. After all his years of training, he was not good enough to be a Jedi Knight." - This hits different, reading it as an adult. Obi-Wan is a month away from his thirteenth birthday, and because no one has chosen him as a Padawan, and because Bruck made it look like Obi-Wan beat him up in anger, unprovoked, he's getting kicked out of the Temple and sent off to a planet in the Outer Rim to be a farmer. Like...I get why they want Padawans to start off early; they need to be teachable, moldable. This is also the age at which children would be sent off to apprenticeships in times past. But...Obi-Wan is twelve. And, when the Temple has a child on their hands who can't make the cut, instead of sending them back to their families (and I happen to remember that he's not an orphan, even in this not-exactly-canon-anymore series written 23 years before the miniseries), they ship him off on his own to become a farmer in the far reaches of space. Beyond being extremely cold-hearted behavior towards a literal child, it's just...irresponsible??? They're sending a Force-sensitive kid to the Outer Rim without supervision because he couldn't control his anger. Uh...Jedi Council, do you want him to turn to the Dark Side????

Bant! I've always loved Bant, though we don't get much of her in this book. She's Obi-Wan's Mon Calamarian best friend in the Temple, and even though I've never found Calamarians particularly attractive to look at, I've always imagined her being...pretty. I think it's because her gentle soul shines through her fishy appearance :3 And she cries when hugging Obi-Wan goodbye :'c

Chapter 4

Okay, so let me get this straight.... At the tail end of Chapter 3, Yoda and Mace Windu are arguing about whether they should give Obi-Wan another chance at being a Padawan. Not a guarantee, just a chance for potential Masters to see him fight and pick him. What decides the argument is a referee droid telling them that Bruck was the one who started the fight that got Obi-Wan in trouble. So...they had a droid watching the entire time...and they took Bruck's story at his word, arranged a job and a transport for Obi-Wan overnight, crushed his hopes and dreams, potentially set him on the path to the Dark Side out of bitterness and anger...before they even checked the evidence?! I mean, what if Bruck had just burned and bruised himself and then went limping to cry wolf, and there had never even been a fight at all? Guys...this is why Palpatine was able to exterminate you. Because you're all as incompetent as a bunch of beetles >:(

"As a child, Obi-Wan had learned by fighting older students to avoid flashy attacks that wasted energy. Instead, he'd been trained to fight defensively, to block blows with small movements, or to avoid them." - Getting "It's over, Anakin! I have the high ground!" vibes here :P

"[Qui-Gon Jinn] was a rebel and a loner, and Obi-Wan wanted to be seen as a rebel, too." - Awww, babbie.... ( ∩ˇωˇ∩)♡

"Qui-Gon shook his head sadly. 'It is better not to train a boy to become a Knight if he has so much anger. There is the risk he will turn to the dark side.'" - Oooh, foreshadowing! Foreshadowing of when Qui-Gon will ask Obi-Wan to train a boy with a lot of anger who will turn to the dark side!

Chapter 5

"'But why send the boy to Bandomeer?' Qui-Gon asked. 'It's a brutal world. If the weather doesn't kill him, the predators will. He'll need all of his skill just to stay alive--never mind the Agri-Corps!'" - THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING!!!!

And in response to that, Yoda just laughs and says that he has faith in Obi-Wan's abilities and that it's a good situation for a young Jedi to grow. Okay, okay, so Yoda has a premonition that Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are destined for each other, and this isn't the end of Obi-Wan's Jedi career...but come on. Sending a twelve-year-old boy to Bandomeer all on his own is child endangerment, Force or no Force!

Chapter 6

The main event of this chapter is Obi-Wan wandering around the ship taking him to Bandomeer, and he runs into a Hutt who unceremoniously throws him against a wall, chokes him, and then punches his lights out. And his cronies wonder aloud if Obi-Wan is carrying bombs in his luggage. OBI-WAN IS TWELVE HE PROBABLY STILL HAS BABY FAT AND WE FIND OUT LATER THAT HIS VOICE STILL CRACKS WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM ;A;

Also...oh my goodness. You have to understand, as much as I love Star Wars, I got into it at a time before I had ready access to much of the EU, and I'm not sure I really had an understanding of what the internet was or what one can do with it. (Besides, I was reading these books several years before Wookiepedia even existed.) So with a few exceptions of species named in the movies like Wookies or immediately-recognizable ones like Twi'leks, I had no idea what any of the species named in these books actually looked like, beyond the brief descriptions that might be provided in the text. This time through, I've been looking up any alien species I'm not familiar with...and this chapter mentions Arconans. This is one of the species that gets a close-up in the cantina scene, but I had no idea what they were called, so I didn't know that. The book describes them as "tall ... with triangular heads and glittering eyes." And...yup, that's what that one dude looks like in the cantina. But because I didn't know that was an Arconan, my nine-year-old brain had to come up with my own visual to latch onto - particularly because a character featured pretty prominently in this book is an Arconan. And I can still vividly remember what my brain cooked up - tall, spindly bodies supporting a huge flat triangle with a face on it! Real Arconans' faces are sort of vaguely shaped like a downward-pointing triangle, but I imagined them as upward-pointing triangles. And their eyes had irises and pupils, unlike real Arconans; they were just...super shiny, like anime eyes. Aww, now I have to shift my mental image....

Chapter 7

"He had to accept the pain, respect it, not fight it. Then he'd have to ask his body to begin to heal." - You know...I think these books went a long way towards preparing me for a life of physical pain. I've been told I have a high pain tolerance, and while I'm sure part of that is just the way my body is and what I'm used to, part of it is also mental. I used to pretend I was a Jedi when I hurt in some way, and I would try to do what's described over and over again in these books: Thank your body for letting you know something's wrong so you can fix it.

Okay, I could almost buy it if the Hutts and Whiphids on board weren't surprised by a twelve-year-old joining a mining operation, because maybe they just find it hard to gauge a Human's age on sight. But now there's a Human woman, Clat'Ha, who's like, "Oh, you must have stumbled on board looking for a job, yep, that's the most believable reason I'm sitting here looking at an actual child...." I guess there were no child labor laws a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

My assessment of Obi-Wan as a Gryffindor Primary is looking pretty solid: "But he still struggled against Clat'Ha's acceptance of the injustice. He didn't understand it. He had grown up in a world where disputes were mediated and resolved. No obvious injustice was allowed to stand."

Chapter 8

Obi-Wan wakes up all weak and feverish, with Qui-Gon by his bedside, feeling his forehead. "'Is it really you?' Obi-Wan asked, struggling to clear his clouded brain. Qui-Gon smiled. It was the first time Obi-Wan had seen him smile, and he realized that Qui-Gon was not all coolness and judgment. 'Yes, it's really me,' he said." - <3 Exactly the kind of fluff I'm here for :')

And in walks Si Treemba! This is the Arconan character I was talking about, and I love him, even if my initial imagination of his face was...well, pretty cartoony, if we're honest, and now I have to picture him like the guy in the cantina. But Si Treemba is great. Rather timid, but a good friend when Obi-Wan has none, and fun to read because of the Arconans' habit of speaking only in the first-person plural because they have very little sense of individuality. Also, this introduction scene is doubly fun because Si Treemba hero-worships Obi-Wan for standing up to a Hutt, and Qui-Gon is laughing up his sleeve at Obi-Wan's discomfiture ^_^

Confirmation that Obi-Wan is fluent in Huttese. Not surprising; Huttese is a pretty widely spoken language, but still. Good to know.

"No doubt Qui-Gon thought him unworthy of the task ahead. But Qui-Gon's hesitations paled next to the Jedi principles. Justice must be sought out." - GRYFFINDOR!

Chapter 11

Okay, so Obi-Wan and Si Treemba go to investigate some sabotaged mining equipment that's making tensions rise between the two mining companies on board the transport. Si Treemba gets caught trespassing, and Obi-Wan turns back to rescue him from the Hutts. And in the middle of the night, Qui-Gon wakes up with the sense that Obi-Wan is in danger! Even though he's not his Padawan yet! I forgot that happened. It's ~destiny~ <3

"Sorry to break up your game." - I'm seeing the beginnings of Obi-Wan's dry wit. It's not super witty yet, but then, he's just a kid. The sarcastic zingers will come in time. (And granted, "Hello there" isn't exactly Shakespeare either....)

Chapter 12

Qui-Gon and Clat'Ha are at the bar drinking "juice." There's consumption of alcohol in the movies, so I don't see why the books need to be squeamish about it. I mean, I could maybe see a Jedi not wanting to get intoxicated, but Clat'Ha? I'm going to keep my eyes open to see if this is a trend in the series.

Aaaaaagh, Qui-Gon's upset with Obi-Wan meddling, fighting a Hutt, and making the tensions worse. "He had hoped to win the Jedi's respect. Instead, he was looked at as a pest, not even worthy of great anger." TAT But before things can get too tense between them...pirates attack! 8D

Chapter 13

Hee hee. Transparisteel. I love sci-fi technological terms :B

"Qui-Gon watched as Obi-Wan sprinted toward the bridge with Si Treemba behind him. Suddenly, the boy looked so young...." - Oh, NOW he looks young, does he?!

"The last of the pirates blasted off into hyperspace, never guessing that they'd been bested by a twelve-year-old boy." - WOOHOO!!!! YEAH!!! GO, OBI-WAN!!!!! ✽-(^▽^)/✽

Chapter 14

Hmm. There's some head-hopping in this book, which seems to get worse the closer to the end it gets. It's a pet peeve of mine, but I'll let it slide. Better authors than Dave Wolverton have been guilty of it.

Before starting this project, I took a stab at Sorting Qui-Gon. My best guess was that he's a Slytherin Primary (jury's still out on both of their Secondaries at this point), and his thoughts in this chapter seem in keeping with that. He thinks broodingly of his angsty backstory with his previous Padawan, whom he lost to the Dark Side. That hinders his ability to trust Obi-Wan or connect with him, because what if he opens his heart to an apprentice who will only break it all over again? So he holds back from Obi-Wan, who's confused and hurt and would really like even just a single word of praise from the Jedi Knight he looks up to. This seems like a Petrified Slytherin to me - his old Padawan was one of the few people he let into his inner circle, and such a pain-filled loss makes it so hard for him to let anyone in again. Can't wait for the un-Petrifying we all know he has to go through :3

Chapter 15

"Jemba shook in amusement like a giant gray worm." - Jemba is a Hutt. He is a giant gray worm.

"Sometimes, the force of friendship could work where the Force could not." - Oooh, I like that.

You know, I really like how the Arconans play into the plot of the story. Jemba swindles the lot of them into working for him by stealing their food source, and because their culture is a strongly communal one (to the point where they don't even use the word "I"), they go along with it because it's what seems to be for the greater good, because it means their people will survive, even if they end up losing their freedom to a cruel master. But then, because Obi-Wan has befriended and helped Si Treemba, he basically can call all of them his friends. Their loyalty to each other extends to him now. And I really like that, as young as Obi-Wan is, he's doing his best to understand where they're coming from and how their culture and life on their planet affects the way they interact with others. He doesn't judge them for being different from him, he just tries to understand. That's the makings of a good ambassador, I think.

Chapter 16

I really like this chapter. It's a quiet moment, a chance for the characters to process and discuss the showdown that just happened. Obi-Wan makes sure Qui-Gon (who was gravely wounded in the battle with the pirates) makes it back to his quarters, and they discuss what they should do next. Obi-Wan is ready to go kill Jemba right then and there, but Qui-Gon cautions him, giving him some good advice and helping him put things in perspective. There's something deep inside him that can't help advising and training Obi-Wan, even though he's trying with everything he has to slam on the brakes and not entertain the thought that maybe this could be his Padawan.

"His heart cried out that Jemba was evil, and that evil had spread to enslave innocent victims. If anyone deserved to meet a bitter fate, it was the Hutt. But he would listen to Qui-Gon." - Further proof that Obi-Wan's a Gryffindor! Also that he learns from his mistakes. He got in trouble before when he went off on his own against Qui-Gon's advice. Now, even though he's itching to do something to solve the problem immediately, he knows better than to disobey Qui-Gon's direct orders again.

"You can't force people to be just and decent. Such qualities must arise from within--they cannot be forced from without. ... I have [killed before] when there was no other choice. But when I kill, I only win a fight. It's a small, small victory. There are greater battles to be won--battles of the heart. Sometimes, with patience and reason and by setting a good example, I have won more than a fight--I have turned my adversary into a friend." - This is why I love Qui-Gon.

"Qui-Gon could see no glistening sign of tears. Instead, he saw the worst kind of defeat. It stung him. After all his noble talk of winning the hearts of enemies, he realized that he had just crushed the heart of a boy who only hoped to become his ally." - ༼☯﹏☯༽

Chapter 17

"It's as if a burden has been lifted from me. Perhaps I could be a good farmer. And to be good...to be a good person is more important than being a Jedi." - This chapter is basically just about Obi-Wan articulating this realization. And what an important, mature realization for such a young boy to come to....

Chapter 23

The climax of this book is so exciting, it's impossible to put it down to write down any thoughts! After an emergency landing on an unknown planet to repair the damage the pirates did to the ship, they take to the hills for fear the rising tide will engulf the ship. Instead, they end up putting themselves in greater danger from these pterodactyl-like creatures roosting on the island. To make matters worse, the Hutts have stolen all of the Arconans' special mineral they need to eat to survive. So Qui-Gon sets out to get it back, climbing a cliff face even though his shoulder is still seriously injured, getting shot at by Hutts and Whiphids and then attacked by the flying creatures, escaping only by jumping onto the back of one. Meanwhile, Obi-Wan is almost single-handedly defending the mouth of the cave where everyone is holed up, fighting scores upon scores of the ferocious creatures.

I still vividly remember the first time I read this book. I remember sitting on the couch in the living room, devouring the whole thing in one sitting. By the time I got to that epic battle in the cave mouth, I was shaking with excitement, oblivious to everything around me. I could see it all so vividly, it's like I was there. I could feel the rain on my skin, I could hear the creatures' cries, I could feel my muscles burning every time Obi-Wan raised his lightsaber. And when I finally put the book down, I was really disappointed that I hadn't checked out any of the other books, and I'd have to wait till the next time we went to the library! Few books can affect me that strongly anymore. I miss that reckless abandon, that ultimate trust in a story to carry me through, to the point that I'm hardly even myself anymore....

The other thing I love about this climax is that Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan reach out to each other with the Force and forge a connection, even though they've both accepted at this point that they're not going to be master and apprentice. It's a connection born of desperate necessity, but also a soul-deep understanding that goes deeper than conscious thought.

"Together, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn fought side by side. The Force pulsed between them. They knew without speaking where the other would move, when the other would strike. When Qui-Gon moved forward, Obi-Wan sprang back to protect his flank. When Obi-Wan leaped to the right, Qui-Gon made sure he was covered to the left." - \ TToTT /

Chapter 24

And here we are at the end. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan have been through a crazy adventure together, but Qui-Gon is still reluctant to ask Obi-Wan to be his Padawan. They have a quiet moment together, talking about Obi-Wan's first experience of letting the Force guide him so completely in such a critical moment, the first time he's been in a life-or-death situation like this. But as Qui-Gon thinks to himself, "The boy would have to be strong to dispel the shadow of the one who had come before."

And I'll close it out with this lovely foreshadowing of things to come: "It was not a simple thing for one Jedi to touch the mind of another. It was an intimate thing, the kind of thing usually done between closest friends. Or between a Knight and his Padawan."

[thehomothings]

Analysis of Kite's conflicting moralities, relationship with death, and the toll reincarnation may take on one's psyche

So, today I decided to compile all the thoughts I have had about Kite's interesting worldview since the first time I saw him into one post, mostly for my own sake, really. If you're familiar with the few posts I've made, you know it's gonna be a mess, but hopefully a comprehensible mess.

A heads up, this is going to be spoiler-heavy, and very much deal with subjects of death and dying as a whole. Also, some of these conclusions are drawn from my own experiences and close brushes with death, I'm not going to go into much detail but it might get personal and definitely dark. I'm not even sure if I can call this a meta-analysis, and I'm obviously no expert, so mayhaps take all of this with a grain of salt.

Been getting into drawing lately, and during the more simple and mindless part of the painstaking process of dotting every single star in this, I let my thoughts wander through the latest part of the fic I'm writing, and I got a better grasp on what exactly made Kite such an elusive character to me.

I'm not quite sure why I got so attached to Kite. Perhaps it was the air of tragedy surrounding him, how despite his sordid past he remained still open and gentle even if outlined by a healthy dose of cynicism.

But sometimes, I think it's the fact that he is so paradoxical. He's brave, yet fears death to such a degree that creates a whole Nen ability around it, is a pacifist yet will not hesitate to spill blood for his own sake or someone else's. Despite the many ultimatums and warnings of 'I will not protect you', he gave his arm and then his life to save Gon and Killua. He approaches each hunt and battle with a clear plan of action in mind, but his Hatsu takes the form of a roulette that gives him random weapons which are never what he wants, but what he seems to need for that exact situation, which he cannot dispel without using. When he draws a weapon, the decision is locked in and his or his opponent's fate is sealed. That's why each time he dubbs his weapon a bad roll. Every time he has to gamble, he sees himself as having run out of luck. When it comes to having to choose between himself and somebody else...well, there had never been a choice. In fact his aversion to using it may feed into its sheer power that we, unfortunately, saw too little of.

Let's go over his very first appearance when he saves Gon from the mother Foxbear.

It's not hard to see the strain searching for Ging has put on him; he's rash, prone to anger and punching a child for daring to get into trouble. In his mind, he's failing at his most important task, has not yet earned the right to call himself a hunter despite being in possession of his very own hunter license.

After killing the mother Foxbear and raging about having done so, he says this interesting line:

So yes, he finds killing for any reason rather irksome as most would do, yet I think something deeper caused him to absolutely lose it in this scene:

He had not been aware of Gon's identity, and despite being an animal lover and a naturalist, he made a choice to save the human instead of allowing nature to run its course. In fact, he says: 'No beast that harms a human must be allowed to live.'

How does one weight one life against another? How is the worth of it determined? The value of life... an impossible choice he's faced with and a choice which he seems to regret to some degree.

The Foxbear cub.

Here, he's speaking from experience, a tangible loss he has felt himself, and a hard and bitter life he does not want to impose on the cub.

His backstory is exclusive to the 2011 anime adaptation but there are hints alluding to it in the manga, for example, the fact that he does not seem to know his birthplace, or:

The choice of words is chilling.

Reading between the lines, one could draw the conclusion that he is an orphan. Something supporting this hypothesis is how he visibly deflates after Gon tells him his parents have (presumably) died.

So we see he is willing to go against his own moral code of not killing as to not doom another living being to the life he led, a lonely, hopeless existence that could barely be called one. He saw it best to put down the cub rather than leave it to die a painful, slow death.

The reason Kite himself isn't as cynical and cold-hearted as one would be after witnessing cruelty in its rawest form is those small crumbs of human kindness which he may have found in Ging.

It was not only a chance at an honorable life being Ging's apprentice gave him, but it also 'saved' him from being broken and twisted into what he hated and worst of all, death.

If we take that one minute of backstory as canon to his character-which I find myself inclined to do- these quirks of his make much more sense. He lived on the run. He lived on the knife's edge between giving up or pushing forwards. He lived as so a wrong move could be the difference between survival and the end.

Between rock and a hard place creates a mentality of black and white, absolute good or extreme evil, this or that. Except in reality, it's much harder than that. Deciding who to save and who to strike down is a heavy burden to bear.

It's almost easy to see how struggling to keep surviving could lend itself to a crippling fear of death and subsequently developing a Nen ability which once more goes against his own moral code in order to give himself a second chance...yet something about it strikes me as unlikely when I look at it this way.

Living life knowing it could end at any moment has the opposite effect, at least for me it did. One comes to accept that it is fleeting and while not eager to let it go, when death eventually and inevitably does come, there is no fighting it.

Especially when there is no hope that tomorrow will be a better day than this one.

Frequent near-death experiences numb one's fear in a way, even if it drives them to take precautions that render it unlikely to happen again and results in c-PTSD, but still, it does. It sparks a certain nihilistic view of 'if it all can end so easily, then what's the point of it all?'

Unless there are things to live for, a sure promise of a better future, and Ging gave Kite that. When he faced the threat of losing his second chance at life:

Really, what else could lead someone to develop the ability of 'the hell I'm going to die like this'?

I think a separate event, an even more brutal near-death experience that almost cost him his life as the hunter he so strived to be set him off to develop the secret roll of Crazy Slots, what I call Roll No.0, Ars moriendi. Unlike other weapons, it cannot come up in random and is directly summoned by him, or better said, summon by his overwhelming will to keep going and hopelessness of fighting a losing battle. I don't believe roll No.3 was the weapon that allowed him to reincarnate. I've named that one Wand of Fortune, a sort of armor instead of an offensive weapon since I find it hard to believe Kite, a Conjurer, would not focus on defences as well, and I will go into both mechanisms of these weapons hopefully in his backstory.

Despite knowing this battle to be a pointless one and being acutely aware of his soon to be demise, he did not immediately draw Ars moriendi, no, he stayed back and fought for the sake of the boys, kept Neferpitou occupied until they could reach safety. We can see evidence of this in the aftermath of the battle that seemed to have gone on until dawn, a torn apart landscape only signaling a fraction of the devastation that was Kite's power unleashed. It still wasn't enough.

In the anime sub I watched, when Gon apologizes to Ging about Kite's death, Ging said a sentence that infuriated me, because it belittled the utter suffering of the NGL trio.

"He would not die in your place." (No screenshot, sorry)

And I remember practically shouting at the screen, screaming 'how could you possibly say that? Of course he did. He absolutely did die in their place. How could you not know your own apprentice? Why-'

It was only last night that it hit me why Ging would say that.

Once upon a time, maybe Kite would not have given his life for anybody under any circumstances, even if he had a way out of it all. He would still need to die to come back to life.

His Thanatophobia could be attributed to the (possibly untreated) PTSD of the near-death experience in his later life, being so certain of dying that finding himself alive afterwards drove him to never want to go through that again. He quieted his fear by creating a sort of a loophole, that even if he lost the battle he would remain. Ging remembered that, but as evidence shows, something changed. Maybe he healed a bit, perhaps growing up dulled his fear to a certain degree, but eventually when it came down to his life or another's, he didn't choose himself.

Now, I can hear you saying 'but he didn't die, so what are you going on about??' And so I reply: Yes, he is alive, but he did die. He experienced that painful, horrible moment of staring death in the eyes and thinking 'This is it, this is the end', went through the actual process of having his soul removed from his body. And that moment stretches into infinity, ten lifetimes condensed into the mere seconds before oblivion.

Dying isn't so hard if one stays dead.

It's not so easy to open one's eyes and find oneself alive again after that, no matter how much that is the heart's desire. It's difficult, nigh-impossible to reconcile with life and walk amongst the living when everything had been so final, when death had been accepted to its fullest.

So Kite awakens, the twin of Meruem and back from the dead, his mind and identity both intact and fractured. In that he is Kite is no mistaking, yet he is not the same gentle pacifist whose first reaction upon sensing a monster's aura was to shield two kids from it at the cost of his arm.

I don't think many of you are familiar with Zoroastrian ideology, but Togashi is known for loving his religious imagery, and it's not only Christianism he derives inspiration from (evidence of which can be seen all over Kite's character and resurrection).

In Zurvanism-a branch of Zoroastrianism- there is talk of the twin spirits: Ahura Mazda -epitome of all that is good- and Ahriman -epitome of all that is evil-, the parent god Zurvin decides that the firstborn may rule in order to bring "heaven, hell, and everything in between."

Upon becoming aware of this fact, Ahriman forcibly tears through the womb to emerge first. Sounding familiar yet?

Zurvan relents to this turn of events only on one condition: Ahriman is given kingship for 9000 years, and then Ahura Mazda may rule for eternity.

Meruem ruled for 40 days, his death leaving the throne vacant for ant Kite, wearing a dead girl's face and seeming to be brewing some nefarious plan. No more is there any sign of that unrelenting pacifism and the sanctity of life he held so high, losing his own may have only served to show him how meaningless the pain and suffering he went through had been, dying only to be reborn as a member of the species that killed him. It may be that he has no desire to rule over the remaining Chimera ants or create an army of his own-

Yet I dread to think what a broken mind possessing limitless power might do to the world.

And that's it. If you made it this far, thank you for reading! If you found it interesting, stay tuned, as I think a lot and I will make it your problem.

[izukult]

haiykuu boys react to a long distance partner surprising them

characters: hinata, kageyama, oikawa, sugawara, nishinoya, tsukishima

established relationship | warnings: swearing, my fan behavior, why are my head canons so long in this gd it’s like a tiny story without structure

hinata shōyō

-SUNSHINE BOY (i went crazy for this one i’m so sorry)

-you were sugawara’s old middle school penpal which turned online friend

-so obviously you’d heard about his volleyball team and the new first year star players

-and one thing led to another where he introduced you to hinata

-actually you were facetiming suga and you saw hinata and told your old friend you thought the tangerine boy was cute and then koushi “accidentally” put you in a gc together

-you and hinata have been dating for about four months

-you’ve heard everything to a t, including small little remarks from tsukishima to every toss, kill, and miss your boyfriend and kageyama managed

-side note but it’s so cute this boy is so whipped for you if you don’t respond for a certain amount of time he’ll find some dumb excuse to talk to suga just so he can shift the convo to making sure you’re safe

-anyway

-so you’re going to meet suga finally

-like FINALLY you’re so excited

-but you’re also boutta see your boyfriend!!!!!!

-buuuuuuuuuut your boyfriend didn’t know

-so it’s safe to say you were a little nervous about it

-you made suga swear up and down that he wouldn’t tell any of his teammates that you specifically were coming, but he did ask to make sure it was okay to have a semi open practice

-so you’re standing outside the volleyball gym with sugawara, backpack with hinatas favorite snacks over your shoulder. practice had already started so suga was late, but he still stood outside with you and let you prepare yourself

-you felt like you were about to throw up even though that’s shoyo’s thing

-suga walks in before you and you follow shortly after, holding in a sharp breath.

-there he was. standing on the other side of the gym, talking to who you knew as kageyama

-he hadn’t seen you yet, but other member of karasuno had

-”yoo who’s this hottie” bald, flirtatious, you had to assume its tanaka

-hinata was in the middle of jumping for a spike when he saw you, and he froze and fell to the ground, stumbling to keep his balance

-the gym got quiet at the tangerines reaction, but he was just staring at you.

-and then he was doing that “woosh” run he always told you about and before you knew it his arms were around your waist and his head was buried in your shoulder.

-everyone (literally EVERYONE) was looking at you two but you just laughed and placed a hand in his hair (which, holy fuck, is soft)

-you mouthed an apology to suga and he shrugged you off, and focused your attention back on the boy in front of you

he pulled back just enough to look at you, leaving his hands to rest on your back. his eyes were filled with tears (cute) and he offered you a smile.

“you’re here” his voice was quiet, for once, but it didn’t have any lag this time. and it was so fucking beautiful.

“i’m here.” you nodded, eyes scanning the features of his face. he chuckled lightly, a tear falling to his cheek as he shook his head.

“you’re so pretty.” his voice was watery and he moved his head back in your shoulder before you could utter a compliment back.

-he stayed attached to you for like minutes okay and this man completely ignored the teasing of his classmates.

-eventually you tried to pull him off you so he could get on with practice (and so you could watch him practice) but he refused to get off

-”bubs. babe. honey. you gotta get up”

-”hey hey hey, what about showing me a cool spike?”

-”i am literally asking you to do your favorite thing in the world sho,”

-”new favorite thing is holding you.”

-YOUR HEART

-eventually you did get him off of you and he practiced the HARDEST he had

-after practice he introduced you to everyone as his girlfriend even though you’d literally been introduced to them like an hour before

-his eyes stay on you and he constantly tells you how pretty you are face to face and how you smell good and how soft your hands are

-it would sound stalkerish if you werent whipped

-its ok hes whipped too

kageyama tobio

-no idea how youd meet this mf online

-maybe some volleyball forum or like arguing over which setter was betting in youtube comments

-or if you know nothing about volleyball,,,,

-i have no fucking clue BUT

-he doesnt mind long distance honestly

-he doesnt have to get worried about completely embarrassing himself and he never has to make like physical moves

-but he does wish he could hold your hand sometimes.

-but he ignores it🙄

-so you are like obsessed w this bitch u r in love w him🤢🤢

-and ur a good 90% sure he luv u too

-so you plan a trip to him

-you do it all out. you talk to his mom, you find the cheapest hotel that’s perfect distance between his house and his school bc ur just that cool

-and you even make up an excuse to kageyama for why you won’t be on your phone during the flight

-you know he’s gonna be at practice bc you know his schedule cos gf things

-you stocked up on banana milk (aka you brought like four)

-you hit him up yknow yknow

- “hey bubs i’m back<3 how’s practice going?” you’re literally standing outside the gym but you want to make sure you’re not coming in at a bad time

-after like three minutes he texted u “good:). just got done with a practice set.”

-so now you’re going and you’re excited and you’re Nervous

-you open the door and you’re met with a rly tall guy with a headband on

-“hi, can i help you?”

-“uh, is kageyama here?” and he turns his head, and you follow his eyes, and there he is

-and he’s already staring at you

-a ball is lightly held in his hands

-if anyone who didn’t know him saw him they would genuinely think he’s angry

-but it was kinda the same look he’d give you when you talked about things you cared about on facetime

-so maybe that’s love? 😳😳😳

you give him a little wave

-“sup kags”

-he’s just staring

-blankly staring

-which you should’ve expected

-“sorry, are you mad? i should’ve told you i was coming, that’s my bad i just thought i could surprise you and it would be really nice and then you wouldn’t be stressed out sorry-“

-literally why are you saying all this all of his teammates just like “wtf”

-he shook his head quickly and opened his mouth to say no but just continued to stare

-“i- uh- you want to watch me set?”

-you LAUGH. and i mean LAUGH girly and he just turns all kinds of red and you know his team is gonna be on him for that

-“yea! if that’s like, allowed?” daichi doesn’t care so you are literally balling

-you watch him play and like at first he’s REALLY awful like rly bad but then he kind of tunes everything out (i.e. you) and gets back in his groove

-afterwards he comes over to you and asks you what you think and he’s looking at you like this is normal but you can tell he’s shaking and he kisses your forehead REALLY REALLY FAST and mumbles a quiet “i’m glad you’re here”

-he opens up w affection more along the trip

-he appreciates the banana milk. sm.

-from then on out he constantly brags ab having a gf to the team

oikawa tooru

-he suspects smth is up to be honest

-he’s like “ohhh shawty gon do sum😫”

-(he doesn’t fucking call you shawty)

-but to be fair he figured more like you were gonna send him smth rather than send yourself

-surprise again he’s AT PRACTICE who would’ve guessed

-but this time you come at the end of practice because seijoh has like set schedules and oikawa tells you everything so

-you’re just standing by the door waiting for him to come out, ignoring the literal group of girls forming at the end of the hall knowing dAmn well they are your bf’s fangirls

-oh well

-you hear his voice before you actually see him

-he’s giving someone tips on their serves and you hear someone make a snide remark at him and you only assume its iwa

-he’s in the middle of a sentence and he just stops.

-there’s a good couple of seconds where he completely loses composure

-which is not tooru like

-you took a step closer and smiled

-”is this the oikawa tooru fanclub?”

-”nah it’s actually the oilykawa hate club” it’s the same voice from earlier and it’s definitely iwa

-you laugh a little and keep looking at your boyfriend

-”that’s even better”

-he just walks up to you and gives you a real, genuine smile

-pushes a piece of hair behind your ear

-and KISSES u

-EPIC MOMENT GAMERS

-”what are you doing here, pretty? come to see me play? if so, i hate to break it to you, but you’re late”

-you just roll your eyes and kiss him again

-once you two are alone he literally cries

-LMAO

sugawara koushi

-literally the only one who can keep his cool out of all these mfs (aside from tsukishima)

-however, when you show up to his practice wearing the hoodie he sent you like two months earlier, he lost his shit

-you set it up with daichi and everything beforehand.

-(and daichi literally made sure suga would look like a setting genius the day you showed up)

-he had just made a really good set when you walked in and you clapped

-”nice one, koushi”

-he looks at you like 😦 & is just like “you- what- you’re- how- why?”

-lol and then he goes on “not why like i’m not happy you’re here just how”

-and all the third years think it’s so funny to be honest, because typically suga can keep his cool

-he eventually gains his cool and shines you one his signature amazing smiles (which, is somehow better face to face)

-omg he goes over to you and once he gets there he turns to his teammates and like

-”this is my s/o!!!”

-mf is BEAMING

-he’s so happy

-you find out right after he gives literally the best hugs ever i live by that and i will die by that

-he doesn’t kiss you til you two are alone

-and its so fucking sweet and personal he puts his forehead on yours and tells you you’re the most beautiful person hes ever seen

-he is literally so in love w you

-ew

-i love him.

nishinoya yü

-ok he’s so loud

-literally the second he gets a gf everyone knows

-he shows the team pictures of you literally anytime one of them will look

-he luvs u

-he is your BIGGEST fan no doubt

-you make a nice meal? he wants to post about it

-you have a nice outfit? he will put it on his story

-you breathe? expect an “omg baby im so proud of u”

-so when you show up, he reacts the way you expect him to

-so like obviously this man isnt checking his phone during practice

-but he puts his phone on dnd and has you as his only favorite contact

-so you can text him if its an emergency during practice

-you know that, he knows it, the team knows it

-he gets the little ping!

-and he’s out the game

-no one is recovering the ball #peaceout

-he jogs over to check because you never text his number during practice bc you respect his passion for volleyball

-the text just says “come outside:))”

-he’s like wtf?? but bitch gonna do what u say😐

-he sees you and he just yells “holy shit” so loud dude

-daichi goes to call him on his language but steps outside and sees the short libero hugging the person they’d all seen in the photos, he just goes quiet

-nishinoya will not shut up as he hugs you

-he’s literally just hyping you up and asking you literally every single detail about how you’re there, where you’re staying, when you’re leaving, how your flight was, everything

-you just kiss his forehead :)

-literally only good vibes

-you guys have such a good trip bruh

-after you leave he literally just cries while looking at pics of you two together

-^ he took so many pics and vids of you pls

tsukishima kei

-unlike the others, you wouldn’t meet him at practice

-you don’t really know his team, nor does he tell you about them outside of mostly complaining

-you do know tadashi, but like you’ve only talked to him in a gc all three of you are in and never like alone

-you did not tell him you were coming because you’re 100% convinced he would’ve accidentally told tsuki even though he can keep his own shit secret lol

-you just show up at his door when you know he’s home

-and he’s texting you as you’re there and he had actually had a moderately rough day so you told him you were gonna order him food from his favorite restaurant

-which, technically wasn’t a lie you just had to make an extra stop

-you knock on his door (once you’ve prepared yourself because you honestly have no idea how he’s going to react)

-and he opens it ready to give a half hearted thank you to some delivery guy

-but instead his s/o

-he just stares at you

-he looks like a fish

-after like fifteen seconds you decide to try to break the ice bc you are nervous

-”delivery here for uh one…” you pretend to look at the paper, you’re doin a whole skit here “one dumb bitch. are you dumb bitch?”

-he just rolls his eyes and shoves your head

-he walks back but he leaves the door open

-”take your shoes off”

-he’s not even looking at you smh but you smile so fucking wide bc that’s the kind of reaction you were honestly hoping for

-(what you don’t know is he will literally break his whole hard exterior act if he looks at you right now and he is not ready for that)

-you put the food on the table and move to stand next to him

-and after a bit he finally looks at you

-and you look at him

-and you smile

-and he does too,, kind of

-(which is so fucking cute,)

-and you just keep starin at him and bite your lip to keep from grinning

-and after a couple minutes you clear your throat

-”can i hug you?”

-bro he’s so fucking whipped he doesnt even answer he just wraps his arms around you and puts his head on top of yours

-and he mumbles a thank you and its so fucking SWEET

-he does open up more the longer you’re there and u have a very good trip mwah in luv

[misamccn]

linked - killua zoldyck. 

pairing: killua zoldyck x female reader

chapter word count: 2182

content warnings: violence, blood, child abuse, trauma, anxiety, death, abusive parents. 

summary: soulmate au - seventeen year-old (y/n) has never been free. after 9 years of being locked away with her father who uses her for her nen ability, (y/n) escapes and is on the run. she has big plans to become a hunter and see the world...until she meets her soulmate killua and his friends after discovering that her father is after her and wants to take her back. will she escape her father with the help of killua, gon, and alluka? will she bond with killua, or will they sever their link? 

:: prologue - running to the starting line

You craved control.

For all of your life, you never got to experience any kind of control, except when you were a little girl. Your mom would let you choose things for yourself. Like when you wanted to train, what you wanted to eat, and who you wanted to play with. But one day, she dropped you off to your father's house and she was gone. Murdered in cold blood that same night. Your light, happiness, and control died with her that day too. Gone in an instant. You would never choose another thing for yourself from that moment forward.

Until now.

Your feet, clad in thick black leather combat shoes worn with dirt and time, slapped against the wet pavement as you ran to the bus station. You roughly rubbed your hands against your tear-stained eyes. How could I be so stupid, you thought to yourself as your heart pounded in agony against your chest.

He really fooled you good, didn't he? For a second there, you felt safe. Like someone actually cared and didn't want you for your power.

Giichi...you bastard.

You clenched your fists angrily as you wiped the tears from your eyes. No more tears, I have to keep going or else dad will find me and I'll end up back in that cell.

After your mom died, your dad took you in and decided to make you use your gift as a payment for him taking you in. He took you underground in his base. There were no windows, no light, no color. It was dull and empty. The only things in your cell were a mat with a blanket, a toilet, and chains on the wall that were used to restrain you when you failed him and needed to be punished. You spent nine painful years down there. You spent your time healing your father's gang members and guards when they came back from a fight. The worst nights were the nights where a lot of them got hurt. Healing that many of them at once would almost kill you at some times, but your father never let you stop. He never let you have a break. The pain of it all left you breathless.

You were his tool and your purpose was to fix the people that were destroyed for him and his money.

The most painful part of it all though was probably the loneliness of it all. You didn't get to have any friends, and the only person your age that you knew was this boy that you met on an island a long time ago.

There was also your soulmate, of course.

He was always there, never fully in focus, but lingering in your thoughts. His emotions and feelings often filled your mind when they were strong. You didn't know his name, or what he looked like, but you knew him. Even if it was just a little bit.

You first felt him there the night your mom died.

The thunder and rain pattering against your window drowned out the sound of your sobs as you lay in bed awake that night. You had never felt so alone before. Not only was your mother gone, but her whole clan was gone. The people that she loved so much, and the people that you were just getting to know. Your small hand grasped your pillow tightly as a sob ripped its way through your throat when all of a sudden, you felt it. It was small, but nonetheless present. A soft, unfamiliar warmth lingered in the corner of your mind, almost like it was a little bit timid. It soothed her, suddenly she didn't feel so alone.

"I'm sorry," it seemed to say.

With tears still streaming down your cheeks and your eyes wide open, you whispered back, "Thank you."

There were multiple other occasions that you felt him there.

After your father smacked you around a few times for not healing fast enough, or not giving the results he wanted, you'd feel that same warmth.

When you were on the brink of death after healing too many terrible wounds at once, you felt his panic in the corner of your mind.

Sometimes, you could feel a deep loneliness in his mind. Sometimes you could feel he was in physical pain, just like you.

Was it possible that he was going through something similar?

You often wondered if he felt the lack of control that you did.

You knew that you would be destined to meet one day. When and where you didn't really know. You haven't found him yet because his first words to you were still written across your collarbone and you had yet to hear them out loud.

You were in no rush to find your soulmate though, you still had plenty of things you wanted to do. So many places to explore. So much life to live and take back. You were in no rush to settle down with a partner that you had no control over choosing, especially since you just freed yourself.

You ran away from your father's house about 3 months ago. There was a big raid. Enemies of your father had never broken into his base before, and you knew it was likely that it wouldn't happen again soon. So when the locks on your cell were unlocked due to the damage that was happening to the base, you took the opportunity and ran. You took your katana from your father's storage unit on the way out and bolted.

After running for a while, you found a small city. It was called Junipo City. The population was small and the poverty level was high. You were homeless for a while. You slept in an ally way behind the city's supermarket, and that's where he found you. Giichi.

When you first saw Giichi, you thought that he was very handsome. Just looking at his slick back black hair and green eyes made your heart do a little jump in your chest. However, it was his smile that pulled you in. There was something so friendly, so inviting about it. How naive you were then...

He acquainted himself with you and started dropping off food to you for about two weeks. After those two weeks, he convinced you to stay with him in a shelter that he lived in and worked in. He gave you your first set of new clothes in nine years, a place to sleep and food to eat. He took care of you, and for the first time since you escaped, you felt like maybe you didn't have to do things alone.

For the next two months, things were perfect. Giichi showed you all over town during the day. At night, he would bring you hot chocolate before you went to bed. You loved watching him play with all of the other kids and talk with the elderly at the shelter. Sometimes, late at night, you found the courage to confide in him. You told him about your past and all of your fears. Your heart began to flutter madly in your chest whenever he walked into the room. You thought that maybe, everything would be okay, maybe he even liked you too...

But after everything that happened tonight, you found yourself back in square one, alone again.

He had asked you if you had any career plans for the future.

"Hmm," you thought as your feet swung back and forth over the side of your cot, "I was thinking that maybe I could become a Hunter. I'm hoping to take the next exam. I think that my experience with nen and my katana gives me a good chance of passing the exam," you replied sheepishly.

"The next exam?" Giichi asked sorrowfully.

"Yeah," you smiled, "is there something wrong?"

Giichi smiled and shook his head, taking his seat on his cot across from yours.

"There's nothing wrong with that, of course. I'm really happy for you. It's just that...I'm really sad to see you go so soon. The Hunter exam is next week after all."

He looked back up at you. His sorrowful sage meeting your (y/e/c) ones. There was something in his look that made your heart soar...

"Giichi, I-"

He leaned in closer to you from his cot and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. Almost immediately you felt heat rise to your cheeks. He's so close...

"(Y/N)...I was going to wait to tell you this, but since you're leaving I have no choice but to tell you now," a mischievous smile found its way onto his face, "I really like you, (y/n). I have since the moment I met you. You're beautiful and strong. It really makes me sad that you're leaving before we had the chance to become something more than friends..."

Something more than friends? You had never thought about being more than friends with someone other than your soulmate...and even when you did think about that you figured that would be happening way down the line. Right now, you're free and you're allowed to finally make choices for yourself.

The first words of your soulmate burned angrily against the skin of your collarbone.

Could you pursue this, soulmate aside? No...no you couldn't. You were going to become a Hunter. You were going to make money and explore the world. Maybe along the way, you'd meet people and you'd get to finally use your power safely for people you care about...For now, though, you didn't have room for a relationship, despite what you felt for Giichi.

"Giich-"

Before you could tell him how you felt, he placed his hands on your cheeks and pressed his lips to yours.

You were completely frozen. Your eyes wide open in shock and your heart pounding against your chest. This was your first kiss. Before you could even process that thought it was over, and your soulmate mark was on fire.

He was there, lingering dejectedly in the corner of your mind. Feelings of jealousy, betrayal, and finally something passive washed over him in your head. And then he was gone. He shut himself out almost faster than your kiss.

Giichi pulled away from you, "After you get your Hunter license, will you come here and show me?"

You nodded your head slowly, your fingers playing with your tingling lips, "S-Sure."

He smirked and patted your head before walking away, "Get some sleep, (y/n). Goodnight."

Sleeping was the last thing you did. You laid awake in your cot, your soulmate mark throbbing against your collarbone. After about an hour of tossing and turning, you decided to get up and get some water, walking on your tiptoes to avoid waking the other sleeping children in the cots around you.

You were almost to the kitchen when you heard Giichi talking on the phone in his office.

"...uh-huh, yeah...She should be back from her Hunter Exam in two weeks, I'm guessing... Yeah...You can pay me and take her at the same time I guess, no need to make two trips... trust me, she'll definitely be back..."

You rocked on your feet outside of his office, almost losing your balance at the same time. He tried to trick you...he tried to gain your trust and sell you...To who though? Your father? A third party that knew about your power? That didn't matter, right now you had to get away and lay low.

You ran back to your cot and took the few things that you owned. You pulled on your black hoodie and pulled the strap of your Katana case over your chest and let your katana rest on your back. From there, you crept out of the back doors and ran into the night.

Your feet slowed to a stop as you reached the bus stop. A bus was there loading passengers so you immersed yourself into the line, pulling your hoodie over your face.

You took a seat alone at the back of the bus, the rain pattering angrily against the window and the wind rattling the bus.

You can do this alone, (y/n). Don't be afraid, you have to lay low for a little while.

You took a deep breath and shut your eyes. Regret weighed heavily on your heart and you tried to push these thoughts to your soulmate but you were met with silence.

The intercom on the bus buzzed to life, "Next stop: Yorknew City."

[leorizanzel]

Alright, in the interest of getting this off my chest because I will literally never write this, here's my rough outline for an "everyone lives, no one dies or Falls" AU for Star Wars but make it The Godfather and also sickeningly sweet. And you know it's going to be DinLuke, so why even bother asking?

Most of this is copy-pasta'ed from our group chat with some edits, but here we go!

What if Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi never found Anakin Skywalker on Tatooine, and therefore never becomes a Jedi? What if he attracts the attention of Jabba the Hutt, gets pulled into Jabba's Palace as a Force-sensitive kid that can just Do Things and Make Things Happen, and then eventually grows strong enough and earns enough clout to kick Jabba out of his seat? Anakin Skywalker: Crime Lord of Tatooine.

He'd save his mother from slavery, make sure she was comfortable, and dismantle the slave trade on Tatooine. Possibly even the entire Outer Rim with time. There will be crimes! But y'know, cool crimes.

He could still meet Padmé at some sort of function and they could still get married - he needs a legitimate face to his new empire, and she clearly has a penchant for bad boys - and things can happen apace. He would be neither Light nor Dark, just out here trying to get rich and run his crime empire, nbd.

You’d have Luke and Leia being raised in very different lifestyles - Padmé raising Leia as a stateswoman and Luke being groomed to take over dear old dad’s Extremely Legitimate and Totally Not a Crime Empire business. You could even have a more direct Michael Corleone parallel and have Padmé and Anakin send Luke off to pursue a career path that has nothing to do with crime, but well, who else is going to take over when it's time to retire?

You’d still have interactions with some of our favorites scoundrels like Han, Lando, and Boba that wander through from time to time. Perhaps we have some interactions from Obi-Wan Kenobi, who begs Anakin to at least get some training to handle his Force sensitivity. Once the twins are born, he asks to take the twins to the Temple (to which Anakin threatens to chase him right out of the palace). There's a lot of fun to be had with Luke and Leia in their early twenties, still getting their feet underneath them while contending with the fact that their father is the most feared crime boss in the Outer Rim.

Skipping forward a few years, Anakin's decided it's time to retire and well, it's now on Luke to take over the Family Business. Leia would crush the job, but she has to be as legitimate as possible; it's the best way to keep the business going.

The first major task Anakin gives Luke is to hire a bounty hunter and snatch some dude up that has it coming. No spending limit; only the best for his boy. Of course, Luke reaches out to the Guild and gets Din to take the puck. Not even a couple days pass and Din arrives on Tatooine at the palace with the asshole in tow. It's love at first sight for Luke, but it's another job for Din. Luke Pines with All of His Heart, but it's just not meant to be. He still remains in Luke's patronage throughout the years as he finally takes over for Anakin, and Luke starts considering Din a part of his inner circle. Luke ensures that Din never comes to harm and has safe passage pretty much anywhere he can reach; everyone knows that's Lord Skywalker's bounty hunter.

Anyway, stuff happens and now Din's got a green child and a magic sword and a destiny he doesn't want. Oh, running away from your problems? Need a place to hide?? A place not even the Empire or other Mandalorians would think to find you, much less touch you??? Why don't you come live in my bed palace and settle down here?

Din’s always had a soft spot for Luke - he’s his benefactor, after all. Din’s also oblivious and has no idea Luke’s been holding a flame for him all these years. He’s heard gossip about how strange it was that Lord Skywalker never seemed interested in anyone despite his father marrying Senator Amidala at a very young age, but he figured that was none of his business.

When he arrives at the only place he can think to go, Din’s suddenly swept up in Luke’s loving, caring nature - the child immediately has a crib and a room, Din has some of the best chambers in the palace made up for him, Luke insists upon taking care of the child while Din rests from his ordeal - and he’s like. Wait.

Italicized oh.

Suddenly the fearsome Lord Skywalker, Terror of the Outer Rim, is cuddling Din’s child in his arms and oh no this all makes sense now.

Eventually Bo-Katan and the No Fun Crew show up, and Luke’s about to blow them out of the sky before Din asks him to hear them out. Luke does because Din literally has the man wrapped around his finger, it's so stupid. They show up and demand that their Mand’alor come home; they can’t be without a king. Din’s straight up like nope nope nope and of course Luke wants whatever Din wants, so he tells them to get out. They won’t be denied, so Luke threatens to marry Din right there so they’d have to deal with their MaNd'AlOr being married to the most powerful crime lord in the galaxy.

Meanwhile, Anakin and Padmé, comfortably retired on Naboo, hear about all of this and they’re so proud. Anakin thought his son was just treating the Old Firm like a business - successful, but boring. Now he hears that his baby boy’s starting interplanetary wars because he’s taken in the Mand’alor and protecting him from both Mandalore and the remnants of the Empire? Oh, Anakin's practically glowing.

Din, meanwhile, is adjusting to being a Kept Man. One part of him longs for the stars and adventure again, but another's also like, this bed is comfortable and the food is good and hunting is annoying. Luke doesn't pressure him at all - he knows that he never actually made his feelings plain before and he doesn't want a relationship if it means Din feels obligated to be with him. Ruins the whole point! He gave Din his protection because they've been good friends for years and Luke is nothing if not fiercely loyal, regardless of his emotional connections.

But Din comes around because oh, he's so good with the baby and wow, I never noticed that Lord Skywalker, Terror of the Outer Rim, is actually a very beautiful man and jeez, he's so kind and gracious and loving. So y'know, they decide to get married about it or whatever.

And so ends the tale of Crime Lord Luke Skywalker and Bounty Hunter turned Sugar Baby Din Djarin; I'm never going to write this because I have too many ideas and not enough time, but please have my trash anyway.

[the-last-kenobi]

I... I wrote a thing... goddamnit...

Based on this post

All credit and love to @latenightsomewhere and @americankimchi for the idea!

(keep in mind this is not canon compliant. I have aged Obi-Wan down to ten, for one thing. I wanted smolbi-wan💕 and dammit, that’s what I wrote.)

___

It was supposed to be a simple mission.

Then again, that was something that could be said after all missions. “It was supposed to be simple,” Jedi would say, shaking their heads ruefully. “Simple.”

They had known they were walking into unpleasant territory.

The Outer Rim was safe for no one — least of all Force-sensitives.

Least of all, Qui-Gon reflected, gripping the hilt of his lightsaber so tightly that he could feel the ridges carving lines into his palms, least of all young Jedi Padawans. Who had training. Who had skills. Who carried kyber in their sabers.

Like Obi-Wan.

Qui-Gon hadn’t quite realized what had happened— not at first — not with his head ringing with the force of the blunt instrument someone had slammed against his head during the scuffle. He had dragged himself to his knees, first, heaving for breath, then slowly rose to his feet, breathing deeply to chase away the nausea.

And then he had discovered he was alone.

Completely alone.

The slavers were gone, and so was his ten-year-old apprentice—

They took him, he thought, stunned. They took him right from under me, where he should have been safest. I didn’t leave him alone on the ship for a reason, but they took him—

As he reeled, flashes of memory started to filter back through the confusion.

Obi-Wan had been behind him, shielded — and then they were unexpectedly surrounded, outnumbered by what was clearly more than a roving pack of criminals — Obi-Wan had ignited his saber and fought back — Qui-Gon had dropped with a blow to the head, and he heard — shouting —

— a startled cry, a thin and high-pitched voice — a muffled scream, a child’s scared voice —

“Master!”

And a powerful fury rose up inside Qui-Gon, both focused and wild, and he did not feel inclined to subdue it.

•

“It’s not natural, is it,” complained one of the group, a young nautolan with grey skin. “Look at him.”

“Shut up,” one of the others said, shooting a slightly wary look in the direction the first was gesturing.

“He’s a kid,” a third said dismissively. This was easily the most eye-catching of the group, an enormous burly Besalisk that was even taller than Master Krell. “And he’s drugged. He can’t do anything. Forget him.”

“He’s a fucking menace is what he is,” the first muttered.

Obi-Wan grinned at them, a slightly manic expression. This was not helped by the blood streaked through his ginger-blonde hair, or the gag they had tied tightly around his mouth.

He said something to them, muffled by the cloth.

“What?” the Besalisk suddenly turned from dismissive to angry.

“Leave him, he’s just being—” one of the others began, but the enormous reptilian humanoid shook his head violently, stalking towards their captive.

“I asked what you said,” he repeated.

Obi-Wan actually rolled his eyes, gesturing towards the gag with his bound hands. The nautolan looked gobsmacked at his nerve.

The Besalisk rumbled low in his throat and jerked the cloth roughly out of the boy’s mouth, catching painfully on his lower lip as he did.

Obi-Wan winced and blinked rapidly, shaking his head as if to clear it.

“What did you say?” his antagonist repeated.

“I said,” Obi-Wan answered, staring plaintively up at the much taller creature, “you’re going to be very sorry when my Master catches up with you.”

The Besalisk laughed, but it was not a happy sound. One by one the others all joined in, although some more hesitantly than others.

“Your Master didn’t put up much of a fight,” the kidnapper goaded him. “And even if he could, he’d have to put in a lot of work to find you. I don’t think he’ll bother, do you?” He leered. “He’s a Jedi. He’s got a job on his hands, and you come second.”

Obi-Wan’s eyes flickered.

Then he smiled. “I was wondering something earlier, but you just answered my question for me.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” Obi-Wan said, mocking the elder’s drawling accent. “You made it obvious that yes, you are exactly as stupid as you look.”

Several of the slavers gaped.

“Or even stupider,” Obi-Wan added.

There was a bellow of rage, and an enormous fist collided with the boy’s face, leaving grooves up his cheek and forehead that were none too shallow. The gag was forced back into his mouth.

Obi-Wan went back to smiling manically at anyone who looked his way.

•

It took Qui-Gon three and a half standard days to find who had taken his apprentice and where they had gone.

Every minute of those three and half days were spent utterly focused; healthy amounts of sleep were sacrificed in exchange for tracking down information and planning his rescue.

And every minute was also spent with quiet thoughts murmuring in the back of his mind, where not even Jedi calm could quiet them.

They could have moved him again.

They could have had a buyer waiting for the next Force-sensitive they managed to catch.

They’re hurting him. They’re hurting him right now and you’re nowhere near enough to help.

And, perhaps the most quiet, most desperate truth in his heart — If I lose this one, there will be no coming back for me.

•

Obi-Wan bit the hand in front of his face.

The slaver yelped, somehow not expecting the attack despite what Obi-Wan considered fair warning in the form of a venomous glare before the gag had been removed.

“Little brat!” the slaver hissed, shaking his damaged hand that the apprentice was a little pleased to see was bleeding.

“Get him up,” one of the others snapped. “We’re taking him to the deep market tonight, and he needs his attitude fixed first.”

“Not likely,” the ten-year-old said cheerfully. “I was an incorrigible child and my mentor is not exactly—”

He was struck again.

“That’s getting kind of repetitive,” complained Obi-Wan, kicking his bound feet a bit where they hung a foot off the floor, trying to get the blood flowing. “And the same side every time, too. I’m going to get permanent damage and then how much will I be worth?”

“He’s gotta point,” said the newcomer unhelpfully.

The one who had been bitten scowled mightily, then sneered down at his captive, a mean little gleam in his eyes that the boy did not like the look of.

A moment later, a hand closed tight around the boy’s throat, right above the thin collar that had been set there, rigged to blow if he managed to flee.

Obi-Wan choked and began to struggle.

The hand squeezed tighter. “The punishment should fit the crime,” the male mused aloud. “And it’s your back talk that’s going to get you in trouble with your new master, and lower your value on the auction block. Seems fair to get rid of your voice, then.”

The other slaver watched appraisingly. “Just don’t kill ‘im, Frid.”

“Course not,” said the man who was evidently Frid, watching with vindictive pleasure as Obi-Wan writhed weakly, his face turning white and then blue.

Obi-Wan was dropped.

He gasped, his breath rattling in his constricted throat, and kept his head down this time.

This is why Master always says I need to redirect that urge to talk back, he reflected, feeling a little queasy. He’s not going to be happy about my injuries at this rate.

•

Qui-Gon was no stranger to bypassing the local authorities on the planets he visited. He was notorious for it, in fact.

This time, he had chosen to work with the authorities — and then ditched them at the last minute.

Now everything was as legal and tidy as he cared to make it, and the government would be able to arrest and shut down the entire operation, over the course of mere weeks if they were focused about it.

...After Qui-Gon had gone in after his apprentice.

He was quiet and careful about his approach, stealing his way into the underground warehouse that was the gateway to the infamous black market of the planet, a place where spice and banned items were passed from hand to hand — and sentient beings, too.

He could sense his Padawan, albeit barely.

Drugged, most likely.

Sustained exposure to Force suppressants could kill him.

Shaking off the intrusive thoughts, Jinn followed his instincts down several flights of stairs and down a hallway, listening intently.

Bang.

A door flew open to his left, and he melted into the shadows as two figures emerged, one a hulking Besalisk with a permanent scowl and the other a gangly human male with very scruffy hair.

“—not my responsibility,” the human was complaining. “I didn’t sign up for dealing with him. I didn’t even catch him.”

“I did,” the Besalisk grunted. “Little whelp. Squirmed around like a worm on a hook and wouldn’t stop fucking screaming. He would’ve alerted the whole neighborhood just moving him from where we picked him up to the truck.”

“Why didn’t you just gag him?” the human laughed.

“Didn’t have anything to do it with,” the other shrugged. “Tried using my hand and the brat damn near snapped his own neck trying to scream anyways.”

They chuckled a bit.

Qui-Gon held his breath, both wanting and not at all wanting them to be discussing who he thought they were—

“What do the bosses expect us to do, work miracles?” the human went back to complaining. “I hear he’s a spitfire. And they want him ready for sale, in what, three hours?”

The Besalisk grinned. “Three hours is plenty of time. Frid told me that smacking the kid around doesn’t do much good, but he half-strangled him earlier and that shut him up. Jedi whelp.”

And there it was.

It was all the evidence Qui-Gon needed.

The two slavers turned around in alarm when they heard the distinctive hiss-snap of a lightsaber igniting.

All they caught a glimpse of was a towering figure seemingly appearing out of thin air, his expression serene but his eyes blazing, an emerald blade glowing in his hands, and then they were down for the count.

•

Obi-Wan decided that lying facedown on the floor was the better part of valor for the moment.

He was sore and bruised and scratched, and his throat was swollen while his neck chafed against the collar, and he could no longer tell if the nausea was caused by the drugs in his system or from being mistreated.

They had forgone the cloth gag in favor of sealing his lips shut with tape, which Obi-Wan considered a compliment to his ability to annoy them, but it also hindered his ability to breathe.

The slaver standing over him was dusting his hands off rather gleefully.

Obi-Wan squeezed his eyes shut and wished very very hard, knowing that even without being able to touch it, the Force was with him—

And like a miracle, the door swung open, and there was his wish.

The slaver didn’t stand a chance. He only had time to let out an undignified squawk of surprise before he was flying into the ceiling, smacking into a rafter with undue force and then dropping neatly onto a nearby cot that rattled under his weight.

Obi-Wan sighed and let his eyes drift closed.

The man in the doorway was at his side in an instant.

A warm hand touched his shoulder, then slid upwards to touch his neck, looking for signs of life, examining his damaged throat.

Then, very carefully, the tape was peeled away from his mouth.

Obi-Wan smiled into the cold flooring and forced himself to open his eyes again.

“Hullo, Master,” he murmured.

•

Qui-Gon had thought, for one heart-stopping moment, when he had reached Obi-Wan just in time to watch him close his eyes and go limp—

But he was awake, now, those enormous bright blue eyes twinkling up at him out of a battered face.

“Hullo, Master,” said a very small, hoarse voice.

“Hello, Padawan,” Qui-Gon said softly, running his hand up and down the boy’s back, unnerved by how chilled he was to the touch. “How does a warm shower and some proper sleep sound?”

Obi-Wan pretended to think about it, and Qui-Gon had to fight down a laugh at his antics, even now. “Do I have to see healers first?”

“Yes,” answered the Master. “But I believe I can manage to have them release you quickly. We’re leaving for Coruscant tonight; we can sleep on the ship.”

“Oh, all right,” said Obi-Wan, but he didn’t move.

“Can you stand?” Qui-Gon asked.

“Possibly.”

There was another pause, then: “...not really.”

Without another word, Qui-Gon stood, scooping the boy into his arms as he did, cradling his head against one shoulder. Obi-Wan murmured something that he didn’t quite catch.

They moved out of the room and into the hallway, then began to make their way back out of the warehouse. Qui-Gon was stepping over bodies as he went... most of them merely unconscious.

He spotted the scruffy-haired man who had been laughing about the screaming Jedi whelp, and didn’t begrudge himself for trodding accidentally on the man’s outstretched fingers as he passed.

“I... am sorry, Padawan,” Qui-Gon said heavily. “I should have protected you better.”

The ginger head shifted; the boy murmured something vague into his tunics again and then said softly, “It wasn’t your fault, Master. Besides...” he winced as they crossed beneath a bright light that threw the injuries on his face into glaring relief that made Qui-Gon’s stomach clench with self-recrimination. “...I knew you would come for me.”

And those seven little words did a great deal to ease the rage and guilt still swirling inside the tired Jedi Master.

“Always, Padawan,” he said quietly. “Always.”

Obi-Wan was asleep in his arms by the time they emerged into the twilight, surrounded by the movement of law enforcement as they swarmed upon the compound, and therefore he didn’t know it when Qui-Gon, near-shaking as the adrenaline of the past several, stressful days began to fade, murmured: “Thank the Force for you, little one.” And pressed a soft kiss to the sleeping head.

[kiame-sama]

How would the main four react to meeting Killua’s real mother?

Apparently I have no self control and this evolved from just headcannons into a full fic.

I regret nothing.

~~~~~~~~

Killua stood with his hands in his pockets as he looked over at the rag-tag group of people he had come to know. He felt a kind of warmth in his chest that he had only ever felt around his mother.

They came to help him.

Friends were an unusual thing for an assassin to have, but Killua couldn't be happier to see them again, especially Gon. He was thrilled to have a friend his age and even though Gon wasn't as strong as him, he looked forward to traveling with his new companion.

He was about to join the group and leave when the sound of heels on the floor made him frown deeply. He knew exactly who it was and he wanted nothing to do with her, especially given the fact she would likely hurt Gon and the others. He turned to glare at the door where the sound was coming from, tensing and ready to fight the imposter.

When the door opened he was already tempted to leap at her and rip her throat out, feeling hate bubble up in his chest. His youngest sibling stood by her side and he wanted to scoff, knowing that the imposter was only a cheap stand-in for the real thing.

Kurapika, Leorio, and Gon were surprised to see the woman arrive, curious about who she was and what she wanted. Kurapika faintly remembered Illumi talking with Killua during the final part of the hunter exam. He had said that Killua had attacked his 'mother' before he fled from his home.

Leorio figured that the woman was pretty and she wasn't dressed as one of the butlers, so she must have been Killua's mother. Gon stood and stared at the woman, unlike the others he remembered that conversation with Killua about his mom. That his real mother was locked away and being held captive by his father, so this woman must have been the imposter who pretended to be Killua's mother.

"Kill, there you are. I wondered where you had gone off to after you spoke with Silva. You still have more torture training to go through."

"No."

"Excuse you?"

"I said 'no'. I'm leaving here with Gon and not coming back!"

"Do NOT speak to your mother that way!"

"You aren't my mother! You will never be my mother! Mom is kind and gentle and better than an imposter like you!"

Surprise swept through the room to hear Killua snap in such a way at Kikyo, since he usually played along with the lie. Kikyo didn't expect such words from Killua as it was a rather big secret of the identity of his true mother. A good portion of the butlers didn't even know the truth and usually Silva's five children fiercely kept the secret safe due to their love for their real mother.

"How dare you-?"

"No! How dare you! Stop saying you're my mother and pretending to care about me. You're just a liar pretending to be her!"

"Tch, Kalluto, do you hear this nonsense?"

Kikyo glanced down at the black-haired boy at her side, surprised to see that even Kalluto refused to look at her. It was true, she wasn't their mother and she never would be, but that didn't mean she didn't care for them. She did her job to train them and raise them in her dear friend's place, but the life of an assassin was a brutal one and she had to be firm with them.

It was clear there was a mounting tension between everyone in the room. Killua was prepared to leap at the imposter if she made the slightest movement to retaliate. The tense moment was shattered by Gotoh, who had been whispered information by one of the other butlers.

"Enough. Master Silva says that Master Killua and his friends should wait here."

"Why would we wait, Gotoh??"

"Because Lady (y/n) wants to see you before you leave."

~~~~~~~~

You sat on the floor, staring outside with a forlorn look as you usually did. Even if you had accepted your place by Silva's side, you still longed for the outdoors. To stand in the rays of the setting sun and to feel the gentle wind play with your hair.

The sound of the door opening made you look over your shoulder at Silva as he entered the room. You were curious to see a small cut on his thumb as it was hard to injure him in the slightest.

"Welcome back..."

"Killua is leaving."

"W-what..? When?"

"Now."

"Wait! But I- I didn't get to say goodbye..."

You looked down at your hands in your lap, feeling sorrow wash over you. You knew that Killua wished to leave and travel the world with his friends and you encouraged him to do so, knowing how it felt to be locked up in the estate. But you still had wanted to talk to him one last time before he left. He was your son after all. The news cut deeply in your soft heart, trying to fight back tears knowing that Silva would be jealous.

To your surprise, Silva kneeled in front of you, gently gripping your chin and making you look up at him. He knew how much your children meant to you and how much pain you felt to be away from them. He didn't want to share you with anyone, even his sons, but he knew the sorrowful state you would enter at the knowledge of Killua's departure.

He wanted you to be nowhere near the white-haired child any more than you had to be, but this was different. Killua was departing for an undetermined amount of time, and when he had run away prior, you had fallen into a deep depression. Silva didn't want you to be in that much pain, even if it meant he had you all to himself.

"Get up."

"... Why?"

"Because we're going to go see Killua before he leaves."

~~~~~~~~

"Wait, mom's coming here?? But what about them? Father is gonna kill them if they see mom!"

"Master Silva said he would not harm your friends and that Lady (y/n) quite desperately wanted to be able to say farewell before you left."

"He's gonna let outsiders see mom?"

"Yes, but you know how Master Silva is, especially with Lady (y/n). Perhaps you should warn your friends before they arive."

Killua was stunned. He had no idea that his father would let his mother come and say goodbye to him, let alone with strangers nearby. But Gotoh was right, Killua needed to warn them as much as he could before his parents arrived, knowing his father would slaughter them if he became jealous.

Gotoh dismissed the other butlers from the room, being one of the few to know just how serious of a topic it was. He also knew that Silva would slaughter the other butlers if he found out any information on (y/n) had been divulged to those of such a low rank. As soon as they left and closed the doors he glanced at Kikyo who was equally stunned.

"My Lady, it would be wise if you left as well."

Kikyo didn't say a word or put up any fuss, quickly leaving with Kalluto.

"Wait, you're mom's coming here? I thought you said she was always locked up?"

"She is. I can't remember a time father ever let her leave her room unless he absolutely needed to."

Kurapika and Leorio shared a glance, wondering just what was going on. Killua made it clear to them that his father was dangerous and his arrival meant they should be as prepared as possible to not anger him.

"Killua, can you tell us what's going on so we know what to do?"

"Father... He has kept my mom imprisoned here for 28 years."

Leorio recoiled in shock, eyes wide and frightened at the idea of keeping someone imprisoned for so long. He couldn't help but blurt out his protests at the mere concept.

"Wait, if she's a prisoner, why aren't we helping her leave!?"

"Don't ever say that again or you'll be killed."

"But-"

"Father is obsessed with mom. He doesn't like anyone looking at her or talking to her other than himself. He barely even lets my siblings and I visit her. If he hears you even implied trying to set her free, he will torture you to death."

Leorio swallowed nervously, staring wide-eyed at Killua, wondering just what kind of monster Killua's father was. Kurapika was similarly worried about meeting Killua's father, having heard of the Zoldycks and their terrifying strength everywhere he went.

"Don't stare at my mom, father will be upset. Don't talk to her unless she directly speaks to you. Don't approach her at all, not even one step. Let me do the talking and don't try to argue with me or father. Stay where you are and don't move more than you have to, or father will think you're threatening her. If father asks you a question, immediately respond and keep your answer as short as possible. If you do talk to my mom, keep it short and be as respectful as you can or father will kill you."

Leorio was almost shaking at this point, wondering what the hell he and the others had gotten themselves into. It seemed like anything other than breathing would result in death. It was clear to all three that being able to even see Killua's mother was nothing short of a once-in-a-lifetime thing.

Gon had desperately wanted to meet Killua's mom ever since Killua told him about her during the Hunter Exam. She was the reason Killua wanted to be strong. She was the reason Killua had even wanted to be a Hunter in the first place. Some part of him wanted to experience how kind she was, as Killua had only spoken positive things about her.

He was shaking in fear and excitement, wondering just what kind of a person she was.

~~~~~~~~

You relaxed in Silva's arms as he carried you through the maze of hallways, not bothering to try and remember any of them. He was actually letting you speak to Killua before he left. He didn't even demand payment for allowing this to happen.

"Killua's friends are there too, right?"

"Yes."

"... Are you going to hurt them?"

"I will if they go near you."

"But... Isn't his one friend, Gon, the same age as him?"

"So he says."

"Silva... I need you to promise me you won't hurt the boy."

You saw Silva's eyes narrow as he continued to walk, refusing to agree to your plea. If it was true that this 'Gon' as the same age as Killua, then he was only a child. Your heart still held fast to your maternal instincts and that meant you wanted no harm to befall Killua or his young friend. He had spoken so highly of the other boy that you knew they were already close and they would forge an amazing friendship.

"Silva?"

"..."

"Silva."

"..."

"Stop!"

He paused in the hallway, clearly still wanting to ignore you by not looking you in the eyes, but still showing he was listening. His grip on you was a gentle one especially given the fact that your spine was still tender. You knew he wouldn't respond to you unless you did something to gain his complete attention.

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you were able to move to a sitting position in his arms. With one hand against his cheek you turned his head towards you, his eyes locking with your own. Before he could inquire what you were doing you quickly pressed your lips to his, giving him no room to argue. It didn't take long for him to melt into the kiss, closing his eyes and reciprocating the gentle affection he craved.

When you broke the kiss, you held yourself as close to him as you possibly could, looking into his deep blue eyes. He almost growled in pleasure as you gently threaded your fingers through his hair.

"Please... Please promise me you won't hurt him. He's not a threat to anyone here, he's only a child."

"..."

"Silva, you know I'm your's. No one is going to take me away from you, especially not a child. Please, just let me have this one thing."

"Fine."

"Not good enough. I need you to swear to me that you won't hurt him."

"... I swear I won't hurt the boy."

"Thank you."

You settled back down in his arms, still staying pressed against him as he began walking once more. You knew Killua's friend would be safe as Silva never broke a promise or something he has sworn to. It was something that held true for the entire family; never break an oath, a promise, or swear to something you don't intend to abide by.

Silva had said they were in the smaller building that was separate from the main estate down in the valley. It was where most of the staff and butlers slept and it was the only place 'visitors' were allowed. You were excited because getting to the outter building required going outside and you looked forward to feeling the sunshine on your skin.

You wondered what Killua's friends were like, only hearing about them through his stories of the Hunter Exam. It was exciting to you, seeing as you don't really meet new people due to Silva's jealousy.

The moment Silva carried you out into the sun you closed your eyes and relaxed, soaking in the warmth. How long had it been? The only sunlight you got was the bit that came in your small window, and even then it wasn't very much.

The gentle warmth of the sun had you completely calm, a small smile set on your lips. You could practically feel Silva's stare as he observed you in the sunlight, seeing the way the rays filtered through your hair and made a gentle shine around you. Perhaps he would take you outside more often once all of this was over... Only with him, of course.

~~~~~~~~

Killua was practically a mess with stress, though he seemed relaxed and calm on the outside. He knew that there was a large danger that came with interacting with his mother, but he also wanted to see her again before he left. She was kind and soft and everything his father was not.

He immediately looked at the door on the far side of the room as it began to open, his entire body tensed. Gon, Leorio, and Kurapika stood equally tense, seeing a beyond intimidating man slowly enter the room. It was like seeing a true predator for the first time. That rush of ice-cold fear as they stared in amazement and worry at the intimidating man.

He was obviously strong and clearly would be able to kill them in moments if he felt like it. His eyes were cold and almost hateful as he looked at the three in turn. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that this was a man who feared nothing and knew everything feared him. He was completely silent and made no noise when he walked into the room.

They were so busy staring in fear at the frightening male that they didn't even realize he was holding someone. She was cradled gently in his arms as she peaked over her shoulder at them, warm (e/c) eyes gleaming back at their stares. There was a moment of silence before the giant man moved to gently set down the woman, clearly taking great care to not hurt or jostle her in any way.

Now they could see her in her entirety, they were at a loss for words. She had a sweet smile and an equally soft demeanour. Her (h/c) locks framed her beautiful face as she looked over them, her gaze resting on each of them for just a moment before landing on Killua.

"So pretty..."

Gon murmured half to himself and half to no one in particular, completely entranced by the lovely woman before him. Not even a moment later Killua was staring at Gon in despair, knowing how his father would react even to tuose soft words. As the dangerous man prepared to end the little rat, a soft hand rest on his arm, compelling him to look down at you.

"You swore..."

He wanted to snap and growl and just kill the intruder that dare look at you, but instead he angrily stood-down. If looks could kill, Gon would be dust at that point. Only then did the three realize just how dangerous the situation they were in truly was. One movement, one word, one false step, and they would be dead before they could even realize they messed up.

"Mom..."

You smiled at the soft sound of your son's voice, opening your arms in invitation. He cautiously approached, glancing at his father occasionally before sinking into your warm embrace. It didn't take even a minute before he was relaxing in your arms as you gently ran your fingers through his hair.

"Are these your friends, Kill?"

"Yeah. They came to see me and see if I was okay."

"Why wouldn't you be?"

"Illumi made me fail the Hunter Exam and they were worried about me."

"They sound like wonderful friends."

You smiled down at your son, always aware of the constant weight of Silva's warm hand on your shoulder. Glancing up at the other men in the room, you easily picked out which one was Gon. He was a scrappy looking kid with spiky black hair and sweet brown eyes. It almost looked like he was jealous or even longing for the warm hug you were giving Killua.

You locked eyes with the young boy and held out your hand in a friendly gesture to him. If you were the one inviting him over, perhaps Silva would be less angered by it.

"You can come over here..."

You could almost hear Silva's protest as he let out a low noise that was close to a growl. It seemed Killua was on edge as well as he looked up at you, lovely blue eyes filled with worry.

"Mom... I don't think that's a good idea..."

"Why? I want to meet him. You talk so highly of him and your other friends that it seems silly to not let them say anything."

"Mom, I know father doesn't like strangers near-"

"Nonsense. They aren't strangers if they're your friends. Besides, I know he won't hurt me. He seems like too sweet of a boy to do something like that. And, I know you and your father won't let anyone hurt me."

You glanced at your husband with a small frown, seeing his eyes filled with anger and hate at the young boy that stood across from you. He glanced at you for a moment as you returned the stare, not at all frightened of him since he not only swore to leave Gon alone, but he would never intentionally hurt you.

"Right, Silva? You'll always keep me safe."

"... Always."

"See? It's fine."

You looked back at the black-haired boy and smiled, gesturing once more for him to walk over to you. He hesitantly moved closer, glancing at Killua and then at Silva nervously as if waiting for either one to stop him. When he finally stood in front of you, you slightly crouched, looking at him.

"Hello, I'm (y/n), Killua's mom. He spoke very highly of you when he came home."

"Nice to meet you, I'm Gon."

"He's never brought home a friend before, so I'm sure you two are already fairly close. Please be nice to him, okay? And tell him to call his worrying mother every once in a while."

"I will."

You smiled, noticing a curious gleam in the young boy's eyes. It wasn't hard to tell that Killua would get along wonderfully with Gon and they would likely be inseparable friends.

Kurapika was still standing rigidly next to Leorio, knowing that he was being watched by the dangerous man Killua introduced as his father. Gon was right, (y/n) was a beautiful woman and it was clear how much she cared for Killua. It was also clear that death awaited anyone who dare approach without permission.

Leorio would admit, (y/n) was gorgeous. If she weren't married and being guarded by a giant murderous monster of a man, he would try his luck. But there was no way in hell Leorio was gonna even move so much as a hair's width closer than he was. It took all of his energy to stand there under the assassin's gaze and not turn tail to run.

"Killua, keep your friends safe, and keep yourself safe, okay?"

"I will, I've already promised father I would."

"Oh?"

You glanced at Silva in surprise, feeling a bubbling warmth in your chest. You didn't know the circumstances that had lead up to it, but it all made sense to you now as to why Silva had a cut on his thumb. He must have made a blood oath with Killua to remain loyal to his friends and family.

"I'll miss you, Killua..."

"I'll miss you too, mom."

After one final hug, that you never wanted to end, Killua pulled away before he and Gon walked to the other two. They all cautiously began to leave, Killua pausing to glance back at you.

"Bye, mom."

"Bye..."

You tried not to cry as you watched him go, hearing a sudden voice call out to you. It was Gon, he was smiling back at you and waving, making your gentle heart squeeze.

"Bye! I'll make sure Killua calls! It was nice meeting you!"

You couldn't help but wave back at the young boy, watching your son depart with friends at his side. When you could no longer see them, you turned back to Silva, returning to his side. It seemed he wanted to say something, perhaps chastise you for allowing someone new so close to you, but the words died in his throat as you wrapped your arms around him. You pressed close to him and gently nuzzled his chest, feeling him relax under your gentle touch.

"Thank you, Silva. Thank you for letting me say goodbye... I love you."

He let out a low rumbling hum of content at your affectionate behavior towards him, content to drown in your soft embrace. He slowly gripped your sides, gently lifting you back up into his arms. Your legs on either side of him and your arms resting gently over his shoulders, you let your forehead rest in the crook of his neck as you lazily ran your fingers through his hair. He let out a soft noise that was akin to a whine as you continued to cling to him and be affectionate towards him.

He was your captor, but it wasn't just your body that was captivated by him. Your heart, your mind, your affections, finally they were all his. He had all of you.

"Silva?"

"Hm?"

"Can we adopt Gon?"

[daiseukiis]

: ̗̀➛𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆

𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙞 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙮 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙘𝙝𝙞 ?

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

─꒱ in which we peak into how jujutsu kaisen characters handle their child on a daily basis。

─꒱ feat. gojo satoru, fushiguro megumi, kugisaki nobara & itadori yuji

─꒱ warnings ; none

─꒱ notes ; suddenly i’m having jjk as parents brain rot after a night of reading megumi smut

─꒱ JJK AS PARENTS PART TWO

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

─── ➴ GOJO SATORU

꒰꒰ he’s a great dad trust me, spoils his child like no one’s business. you want the entire set of the haikyuu manga and crunchyroll premium? give him five minutes to purchase them. want front row tickets to see nct in korea? yeah, he’ll get it for them and thats plane tickets on first class

꒰꒰ but don’t get me wrong,,, he’s a doting father but sometimes it might be just too much.

꒰꒰ for starters, mans gotta know where their kid's heading on a daily basis. gotta shot him a text that heading to shibuya with your friends or taking a flight to okinawa or hokkaido. he just wants them to be safe !!

꒰꒰ expect him to text his kid almost every time he’s out buying anything. he’d be all the way in osaka, they're in class they will randomly get a text from him if they want uncle rikuro cheese cake or kuidaore taro pudding.

꒰꒰ not to mention !!! he will text you it’s an emergency and they have to call him, a matter of life or death situation. knowing he’s a shaman, he could die but there’s like a percentage of a chance that could happen, it's percentage rivals how fast he can activate his expansion domain. which isn’t much. but when they pick up the phone, he’s just gonna ask the. which top would look better or say there’s a hot deal for these sweets across the street and if they wanna go

꒰꒰ his favourite thing to do it probably embarrass his kid in front of their friends. maybe. yeah. baby pictures and all

꒰꒰ if he has a daughter his father radar is SO high. a boy gives even a glance her way, he will probably threathen them. spoils her with so much it even HURTS to look at his bank account but he's rich so ;;; takes her out shopping and half his camera roll is photos of her or selfies of them

꒰꒰ if it's a guy, he will cheer him on every time a girl confesses his love for his son. probably even gives him condoms and tips but you didn't hear that from me. with no doubt gloat to his students how amazing and manly his son is, takes him out on missions when he wants and goes sweet store hopping with him

꒰꒰ if his child returns home crying for whatever reason, a boy broke her heart or someone beat their kid up for doing the right thing;; bitch gojo is gon beat the shit outta them no cap

꒰꒰ he's the dad every teacher flirts with at parent teacher conferences, and the dad every girl in the friend with has a crush on

─── ➴ FUSHIGURO MEGUMI

꒰꒰ amazaing dad, but probably should work more on the expressing it to his kid area

꒰꒰ he won't spoil them rotten like gojo, but if he sees its something that they truly want and sees that it's of use or valuable, he will get it for them because he wants to see his kid smile

꒰꒰ he's not big on affection, probably a hug time to time and an appreciation pat on the head. if his kid falls he would just crouch down and ask if they need a hand, or is their baby girl starts crying he'll pick her up into his arms and pat his head

꒰꒰ if he has a daughter he would be reluctant to go shopping with her, but he does like the fact that his kid is smiling and showing him her outfits. he better have a say as well if there's an attire that shows to much skin, he just wants the best for his girl. if a boy looks her way with a look, he will emit an aura enough for the boy to piss his pants

꒰꒰ if his kid is a boy, you bet hes gonna teach his son to beat up half the delinquents up the area too ‼ he has so much trust in his son, they would spar sometimes and he would take him on to missions. he sucks at giving advice, probably around the words of 'just be yourself?' he won't show it but he's cheering for you

꒰꒰ he's a chill dad, if their kid ever forgets anything at home and he's off to drop it off at school, he would be a bit reluctant cuz why did they forget it to begun with, but he's gonna do it anyways <3 the one parent that everyone calls pretty

꒰꒰ he'll text his kid basic and short messages, a how's your day or do you want anything from here kinda texts when he's out on missions. he wants to be sure that you're given enough space to be yourself within his reach

꒰꒰ fushiguro screams like the type of dad that would have a family photo in his wallet. i just find that cute and UGGH yes <3

꒰꒰ if his kid comes home crying, he's going to immediately comfort them. bad test or shitty day, he's gonna be slightly awkward but he'll take them out for their favourite food or arcade

꒰꒰ he's also the typa dad that will check up on you before he goes to bed or when he comes back from a mission, when you're all asleep just to make sure you're safe

─── ➴ KUGISAKI NOBARA

꒰꒰ listen,,, listen, kugisaki is a bad bitch mother and it radiates that energy

꒰꒰ if she has a kid, she's gonna raise them to be the baddest bitch in all of tokyo, in all of japan if all i care. she gives her kids credit for even trying to beat gojo up, but if they can't she's still gonna be happy if they tell her they kicked a guy's kneecaps in for taking their lunch money

꒰꒰ a little reckless, her parenting methods are a bit questionable but like its kugisaki here, she does whatever the hell she wants. her kid falls to the ground? don't cry pussy, get up you're better than this

꒰꒰ kugisaki's that mother who probably buys take out food every friday, or takes her kids out to a mf buffet only to tell them to pay for her because she gave birth to their ungrateful asses

꒰꒰ she's the most chill mother out there, all her kids' friends probably want to be adopted by her because she's fun and knows how to kick ass

꒰꒰ if she has a daughter, definitely wants them to be famous instead of a shaman. she wants to see her kid rocking those magazines or fuckin it up in movies or j-dramas, so she got rights to stroll through the red carpet as the most beautiful mother

꒰꒰ if she has a son, definitely will end up making him into a loyal, bad boy who knows how to drink his respect women juice on a daily basis. the son who also get absolutely wrecked by his own mother in smash bros. doesn't matter how old kugisaki is, she would still be able to beat her son even if he's a first grade shaman

꒰꒰ if her kids come home crying, i bet you she'll only scold them. she'll ask why the hell you crying over this guy/girl, they're way low of the standards and are not even it. she would convince them that they're so much better (?) to make them feel good about themselves. and then she'll probably head lock the kid to crush on a better person

꒰꒰ she's the type of mother who wouldn't sit down to talk to her kid often, sometimes she also socks at communicate like fushiguro but at least she knows it. she would be the type that would comfort her kid by bring food ( typical asian parent shit tsk iykyk )

꒰꒰ she's also that type of mother when they tell her that someone makes fun of something to the point that their kid is broken by it, she will get out that car and pick at fight with the kids, and then wipe their ass on the floor, and the mop the deck with their parents

─── ➴ ITADORI YUJI

꒰꒰ this man is the personification of a fun, chill and laid-back father

꒰꒰ he would be the dad that would wake their kid up in the morning so they're not late, pack their food or bring food to their school if they forgot to bring any

꒰꒰ he doesn't really spoil his kid, but you bet he'll take them to fun places like arcades, escape rooms and even go street food binging. definitely would have a movie marathon too

꒰꒰ if he's back from a mission early and near the school his kid goes too, you bet he's going to catch them by the end of school just to walk home with them and take about his mission

꒰꒰ he's the kind of dad that wouldn't mind if they're swearing around the house, but they gotta watch their mouth still, he doesn't want them to be as bad as sailor nor does he want them picking up nasty habits

꒰꒰ if his kid is a girl, he will give her space and room for anything, be it needing some time alone after a bad test or constantly wanting to go out with her friends to get her mind off things that he might not be able to fix. he doesn't mind going shopping, definitely would give an opinion to any outfits with a thumbs up. takes pictures with his daughter on any shenanigans they do together and send them to his group chat with kugisaki and fushiguro

꒰꒰ having a boy, he would want to play sports with them and go on missions. sometimes they would go to the arcade to try the punching game to see who has the highest and then bet the lower pays for food after. he likes giving advice, even though it won't be helpful or will be, he's gonna say it either in hopes that it'll be brought up in their head in any moment they're in

꒰꒰ he's the type of dad that has a selfie of him and his kid as a lockscreen i jUST KNOW IT

꒰꒰ if his kid comes home crying he will be so worried. like whats wrong, what happened, who hurt you, does he have to punch someone?! he's going to pull them into his arms and take them out for food, maybe even a walk. he's they type to want to cheer them up no matter the situation, and probably when they're all good and dandy, he will personally talk to solve the root of the problem behind their back

꒰꒰ when there's something to be settled, i bet you that they settle it with a game of rock-paper-scissors out five ‼‼

─── ➴ SUKUNA ( BONUS )

꒰꒰ what makes you think this man wanted a child, if he did have one ; probably either got it killed during the heian era or he killed it for his superiority complex </3

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

DO NOT REPOST 、 MODIFY 、 CLAIM WORK OR LAYOUT AS YOURS.

© MGUQIIS 、 2020

[val-aquenta]

I’m on fire posting these fics. They have mostly been languishing in my drafts, so I really just have to spruce them up a tad to post them ahahah. 

Here on ao3

 Qui-Gon is the first to call him Ben. Obi-Wan is a name that is too long for him to yell, so he is nicknamed Ben. At least, that’s what he said. Obi-Wan thinks otherwise, obviously. 

“Why Ben? What’s wrong with Obi-Wan?” He wonders, not noticing he’s said it out loud until he hears Qui-Gon chuckle. “What?” He flushes, affronted by the cheeky grin on his Master’s face. It is a look that screams trouble.

“A little long, Obi-Wan, huh?” Qui-Gon pauses for a moment from where he is preparing for flight. “Not exactly perfect for yelling when I need your attention.”

Obi-Wan puffs up a bit, not dissimilar to a loth cat Qui-Gon notes with amusement. “Obi-Wan is a good name.” The boy defiantly tries not to pout while saying this. “It’s not like I call you… John.” He mutters softly, voice sounding put off.

“John?” The older man’s wrinkles crease around his eyes as he smiles. He shrugs. “Ben is a good name regardless.” He defends.

“Obi-Wan’s better.” He opposes tetchily, eyebrows furrowing. “What’s so special about Ben anyways?” He asks with curiosity, always eager for new information.

“Well, Ben technically means son of my right hand, a phrase from my homeworld’s main religion.” Qui-Gon murmurs, willing to try and satisfy Obi-Wan’s need for answers. “The religion is… complex. I don’t even understand it completely, but I do understand the meaning of the phrase.” He pauses.

“Well… what’s the meaning of the phrase?” Obi-Wan fiddles with his hands, eyes alight with interest. He flushes self-consciously when Qui-Gon lifts his eyebrows as though proving a point. He ducks his head, a hint of red on his cheeks. 

“Well, in the religion, there is an entity called God. And the phrase to be at the right hand refers to being in a space of special honour, the right hand, of God.” He explains, enjoying the way Obi-Wan seems to brighten with the new information. “Being the son of the right hand should mean that you will grow into this space of importance. Rather fitting, don’t you think?”

“Oh…” Obi-Wan flushes, freckles disappearing into the deep red colour. Qui-Gon swears the tips of the boy’s ears are red. “That is kind of you to say, Master.”

“It is the truth, my Padawan.” Qui-Gon smiles, clapping a large hand on his shoulder and tugging the boy in for a hug. Obi-Wan startles, tensing for a couple of seconds until he relaxes, shorter arms just barely managing to reach around Qui-Gon. 

::::

Satine was the next to call him Ben. You see, Bant never truly latched onto the name that Qui-Gon christened him with, preferring to stick to her shortened form, Obi. Therefore, Satine is the next. She hears it once when they’re getting shot at and Qui-Gon has a plan that has an 80% chance of ending up with all three of them dead, but it’s better than their current odds. Qui-Gon yells it at him to get the boy to pay attention. 

At first, Satine is startled, thinking a new ally has joined them but is surprised that it’s just a nickname for Obi-Wan. Granted, she doesn’t call him Ben for that long because she, like Bant, prefers to call him Obi.

She does call him Ben when they’re parting ways, and Obi-Wan’s chest aches something fierce. Qui-Gon watches, eyes somewhat sympathetic as they follow Obi-Wan. He pretends not to notice as they share one small, sweet, innocent kiss. It’s everything Obi-Wan wants, but he hesitates and glances back at his Master, and then pulls away from the embrace, head bowed. It is almost everything he wants, and that makes all the difference. If he stayed, he would abandon his Master and his family in the Temple. More than that, he would abandon his path as a Jedi. Even Satine, for all he cares about her, is not enough to sway him from his path. The Force whispers in his mind, sorrow and apologetic, thankful for his sacrifice. The choice cements and he lets go of Satine.

“Ben…” Satine whispers, the word almost lost in the wind. “I… good luck.” Her blonde hair, carefully arranged on her head, moves as she bows. “Thank you, Master Jedi, for your protection.” Obi-Wan bows back, though his head remains tilted down, not willing to look at the woman.

“It was our pleasure,” Qui-Gon responds, sending a little pang of comfort down the growing bond with his Padawan.

“Do be careful.” She says, deviating from her formal script. “Farewell, Master Jinn, Padawan Kenobi.” The names fall easily onto her tongue as though she hadn’t spent almost a year calling them something else with much more familiarity. 

“May the force be with you, Duchess Kryze,” Obi-Wan murmurs, and he walks away from Satine, from the comfort of that life, and into the Jedi transport, his Master, a steady and strong pillar in the Force, ahead of him.

“… Ben?”

“Yes, Master.” Qui-Gon looks as though he wants to say something, wants to spill some secret, but he thinks better of it, instead closing his mouth and opening his arms, catching Obi-Wan as he falls into them. 

“I’m sorry.” He murmurs into the pale ear, his hand stroking circles into Obi-Wan’s shoulders. The boy, because that’s what he is, does not respond, only tightening his grip and inhaling the comforting scent of his Master.

::::

Mace is the third Jedi off the transport ship. He is also the third to call Obi-Wan Ben, though that happened a while back on a joint undercover mission with Qui-Gon. He reverted to calling him Obi-Wan, but then he reverts once more. He’s older and wiser, and, has been a friend ever since Obi-Wan was a small young child of the creche. 

“Obi-Wa… Ben.” Obi-Wan’s heart cracks just a bit more. Never again will he hear that familiar voice whispering that name to him. The deep baritone voice rumbling it. It hurts worse than leaving Satine, Cerasi, or Siri, or losing Reeft had. “Sit down with me and let’s talk.”

“Yes, Master Windu.” The response is immediate, drilled into him with years of training.

“Tell me how you feel, Ben.” Mace rumbles, voice not as deep as Qui-Gon’s, but very close. Obi-Wan is certain that if he were to press his ear to the bald Jedi’s chest, he would feel the voice vibrating.

“Fine…” That response is nailed into him out of fear. Fear of not being good enough. 

“Really?” Mace murmurs disbelievingly, leaning forwards and taking in the red-tinged eyes. A hand reaches out and takes one of Obi-Wan’s hands, feeling the slight chill that seems to emanate from him. “You don’t look fine to me.” He says in a frank manner that only he can pull off without sounding overly rude. 

“Well, what do you want me to say?” Obi-Wan responds, more exasperated than he thought it was going to sound. 

“Ben… you’re not wrong to be sad. It isn’t wrong to feel loss or to grieve.” Mace says, voice closer to whispering than to speaking. The man scoots closer to Obi-Wan who, in the eyes of the Republic is also a man but, in reality, still feels like the thirteen-year-old being sent to Bandomeer, or the sixteen-year-old who left Satine, or the- “You’ve just lost a man who has been by your side for twelve years. It will hurt.” Obi-Wan laughs, but it is more cracked and painful than any laugh Mace has heard. He desperately scrubbing at his eyes as though he wishes to scour them away.

“I know it hurts, Master. Force, my chest feels as though I was the one who was run through with a lightsaber, not Qu-” His voice breaks around the name, and he devolves into small sobs. Mace observes the boy being thrust into Knighthood with something close to helplessness. He had lost Cyslin in a less brutal manner and yet it had hurt all the same. All Mace can do is offer some comfort to the man. “There’s a hole where he was and I can’t-” Obi-Wan's voice cuts off as he cradles his head in his hands. 

“Ben,” Mace says it curtly, as though fully taking advantage of how short it is. Qui-Gon dragged it out a bit, seemingly relishing the way the name made his mouth shape. Satine’s lips always made the name sound sweet. Short and filled with emotions. “Observe and release your emotions.”

“I can’t,” Obi-Wan admits. He tries to look at his emotions. He can understand, but he can’t release and make them go away. There’s just too much. He says as much to Mace. 

“Let me help, Ben.” And it is as though Obi-Wan is a youngling once more, trailing behind Padawan Windu in cream coloured corridors. As though they’ve been transported to a time when Mace’s forehead did not have the stressed wrinkles it does now. As though Obi-Wan hasn’t just had a piece of his heart carved out with a sith lightsaber. Together they sink into meditation, aware of each other, and acknowledging one another. With a little flick from Mace, Obi-Wan begins to reveal his mind warped by guilt and self-loathing and anger and pain and… it’s too much, Mace admits to himself. So, he starts small. A small statement, I was too slow, is given to him, and they watch it together, understand it together, and accept it together. Then, he moves to another, unwanted. And to the dozens that remain. Mace does not judge, and his heart aches at the knowledge of the burdens Obi-Wan is thrusting upon himself, but he says nothing about it, only reaching for the boy… man after their meditation and bringing him into a hug that lasts a full minute.  

::::

Cody is a really good researcher. Sure, he’s great with a blaster, and hand to hand combat, and anything to do with the military really. He was trained under Jango Fett and the Kaminoans. But, one of his greatest strengths is his efficient diving into the Holonet. He can splice information from different databases, even the Jedi Temple’s database. Technically, he could just go to the Archives and find the information, but he could be seen there, so he doesn’t. Instead, he sits at the main console of his barracks and begins to get information regarding his new General. The Jedi, Kenobi, seems nice enough, but looks can be deceiving. In this case, however, it seems that they’re not. The little ginger seems to have a kind streak about the size of Ryloth. 

“What in the world…” He mutters as browsers pop up. Multiple mission reports that he skims through to reveal another thing. Apparently, the General has a penchant for injuries. A really bad one if the reports are not a joke. He digs through one that was co-written by one Qui-Gon Jinn, and he spots some errors. At least, he’s sure they are errors because he’s pretty sure the General’s called Obi-Wan… not Ben. However, he doubts that the General would let that slide.

“Ben.” He forms the name under breath, making some multi-syllable word from it. “Ben.” He says it curtly. It is more efficient than to say General Kenobi or, Force forbid, Obi-Wan. The Jedi have the oddest names.

“Commander…” He jumps, turning to look at the man in question as he walks into the barracks completely unannounced. “I was, ah, wondering if you would like-” He squints at the console’s screen. Cody flushes deeper than before, the crimson stain spreading around his neck and up to his ears. Caught researching his General by the General in question. Rex will never let it go. 

“General Kenobi, sir.” He plants his feet and straightens his back. Obi-Wan looks at the report and then at Cody and then back to the report. 

“Did you… hack into the Temple?” He questions curiously. 

“Well… I do have the access codes…” He trails off. 

“Is this… the mission to Joonta?” The General strokes his beard, leaning forwards to read his report. “Force, my diction was horrible back then. So was Qui-Gon’s.” He scrolls down.

“Sir…”

“Yes, Cody.” He seems oddly enthralled by the report, scrolling rather quickly through the pages. 

“Is your name Ben?”

“Sometimes.” Obi-Wan… Ben? Hums. Reading through the report absently. Noticing the silent prompting from Cody, the General shakes himself a bit. “Oh. It’s a nickname given by my Master. Almost no one uses it.” 

“Ah.”

“Cody… you can call me Ben if you’d like. I don’t mind.” He stops the frantic scrolling to look at Cody.

“The vod will better understand if I call you General Kenobi, sir,” Cody says while ticking the name onto the General’s name. General Obi-Wan ‘Ben’ Kenobi. Jedi and their names. 

“If that is your wish.” Obi-Wan smiles. “Now, I came here to offer you tea in my quarters. Would you like to come?” 

::::

Ahsoka’s always heard of the famous Master Kenobi or Padawan Kenobi or Knight Kenobi in pairs. Padawan Kenobi was always paired with Master Jinn, Knight Kenobi was paired with Padawan Skywalker, and Master Kenobi is paired with Knight Skywalker. Knight Skywalker is now obviously paired with Padawan Tano, so they're all connected. Contrary to what Anakin would think, Padawan Kenobi is the term she’s much more familiar with, and therefore is more familiar with the pairing of Master Jinn and Padawan Kenobi. Even though she knows so much about Anakin and Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are within all the stories that the Crechemasters say. She knows of the most interesting missions that the duo took and is somewhat embarrassed to admit the amount of hero-worship she has for the two.

“Master Obi-Wan, is it true that you had to drink pirates under the table to rescue Master Jinn?” She asks out of the blue one day, noticing the way Anakin’s hand tightens ever-so-slightly, blue eyes dashing to Obi-Wan’s pinched expression. She’s new to her apprenticeship and she still feels overwhelmed if she thinks too hard about the fact that she’s the Padawan of The Anakin Skywalker, and is part of the famous lineage. 

“… Yes. Where did you hear that, Ahsoka?” He frowns while stroking his beard, a habit he can’t seem to break. He doesn’t look too annoyed by the question. Instead, he looks amused and rather curious.

“Ages ago, Master, in the creche.” Obi-Wan shrugs and continues, waving off Anakin’s worried words. The smile on his face is nice to see. Ahsoka thinks it looks bad when the Frown is in place, and that is all that has been in place since the invasion of Ryloth began. She’s happy that she could coax a smile out of the typically austere looking man.

A few months later while they’re travelling through hyperspace on Obi-Wan’s ship, Ahsoka blurts another question. Obi-Wan had offered to teach Ahsoka some jar’kai during the hyperspace travel, and Anakin had assented, remaining on his ship while Ahsoka trained with her other Master. “Master Obi-Wan, is it true that you once were eaten by a large squid and then spat out?” She asks at the mess hall. Cody, who was rather peacefully eating his meal thank you very much, chokes on the ration’s he was chowing on. Stitches, the medic, appears to have swallowed water down the wrong pipe and is sending a concerned look at Obi-Wan. The man in question deflates, shrugs, and answers quietly. 

“Yes, Ahsoka. On Fuleya. Master Jinn thought I was dead for two minutes. Nearly screamed his throat raw trying to cut me from the beast's stomach.” He shrugs and then proceeds to tap on his datapad as though the clones in the immediate vicinity aren’t looking as though they’re having heart attacks. They’re very… protective of their General sometimes. Ahsoka shrugs as well, turning back to her meal. “Was this also heard in the creche?” He asks with the very amused glint in his eyes. The smile also seems to brighten his face. 

Ahsoka feels a warmth in her stomach at having brought another smile to the man’s face, especially considering the stress he seems to be under with the war. “Yes. I heard lots about you.” He shakes his head fondly. She thinks that the smile on his face is worth the possibility that the clones might wrap him in blankets and lock him on the ship. Not that that would be a bad idea thinking about it… 

“Master Obi-Wan,” She starts, her head tilted in wonder. This time, they’re alone. They are at the Temple, in Obi-Wan’s living room, sharing some tea. Anakin, ever the disliker of tea, had opted out, likely going off to see Padmè. “Is it true that your second name is Ben?” At this, Obi-Wan chokes on his tea, spraying the liquid around the room as he coughs.

Ahsoka startles, putting her own cup down and scooting closer to offer some assistance. “What?” He asks weakly, bringing a hand to his chest. This has been the most intense reaction so far. She rubs her hand softly on his back. Humans are ever so slightly warmer than togruta, and she delights in feeling the warmth through his Jedi robes.

“Barriss told me that Master Unduli told her that Master Windu told her that your second name is Ben.” Ahsoka chatters, looking curiously at the man who lies on the couch.

“Technically, Ben is not my second name. I don’t have one.” Obi-Wan runs a weary hand down his face. “Ben is a nickname given to me by my Master.” 

Ahsoka perks up. “Oh, really? Like I’m ‘Snips’ to Anakin?” She questions, excited to learn more of the rather mysterious Master. 

“Well, I suppose? Ben probably has more thought put into it than Snips.” He smirks playfully. 

“How so?” At this Obi-Wan flinches. Ahsoka casts him another worried look but he waves it off.

“It’s a name meaning that I‘ll be special, essentially. It’s native to Qui-Gon’s homeworld.” He smiles softly at Ahsoka. “Much better than ‘Don’t get snippy with me.’” She laughs, happy to once more bring another smile to his face.

“Maybe.” She concedes. “I like Snips though.” Obi-Wan lifts an amused brow.

“I like Ben too.” They smile at each other.

::::

Luke never knows Obi-Wan as Obi-Wan. The thing is, Obi-Wan is dead before Luke is even born. In his place, Ben Kenobi is there. He knows the rough and weathered hand of Ben, not the smooth hand of Obi-Wan. He listens to the voice of Ben, not Obi-Wan. Because of that, there is no need for Luke to call Ben anything but Ben. 

“Ben… why are you called Ben?” He asks one day. Owen is feeling in a more forgiving mood and Beru probably took pity on the sad old man, and they have allowed Ben to visit for a bit.

“The same reason you’re called Luke. I was named Ben.” He responds with a slight smile. 

“Your Mom named you Ben?” Luke asks head tilted in curiosity much like another youngling tilted her head while asking about the name Ben. He wonders where the young togruta is, or even whether she’s still alive.

“No. My… father named me Ben." He swears that there is the gentle hum of laughter in the deep rumbling voice of his Master floating through the air. He looks around, but just the typical homestead surrounds him.

“Oh. That’s cool.” And that’s that. The boy runs away to the deeper parts of the house, a smile on his face. In his hands, a soft blue blanket flies in the wind.

::::

Vader knows who Obi-Wan Kenobi is. He is the man who took everything from him. He took his unborn child, his wife, his limbs, and his potential. Vader is sure that most of his problems stem from this Obi-Wan. Vader, however, does not know who Ben Kenobi is. You see, Anakin never knew Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan together long enough to know of the nickname. He wasn’t there as Qui-Gon whispered the name softly before his death. He never listened to Master Windu sigh his name as the two were chatting as they walked the halls. He never listened to the now-dead Duchess whispering nicknames into the ear of his former Master. He never listened to Cody jokingly calling the ginger, Ben. He never noticed how Ahsoka would whisper to Master Ben sometimes. Because of this, he misses the Jedi Master in his hiding spot. 

“Darth Vader. Have you found your former Master as I asked?” Sidious sits on his throne of lies and steeples his fingers, wretched features obscured by his long, dark robe.

“No, my Lord.” The man bows stiffly at the waist, metal limbs not allowing anything truly graceful. “Kenobi is elusive, but he is old. Soon, he will be dead.” 

Unknown to the two, Ben Kenobi, not Obi-Wan because that man died alongside the thousands of Jedi in the Purge, watches as a boy, the son of his fallen brother, plays in the sand, a toy spaceship in hand. Ben sits on the tip of a dune, smiling at the happiness the boy unknowingly projects as he wooshes the ship around above him. Ben’s hands are busy, carving a new ship for the child. He plans to make a Nubian for the boy. 

“Ben!” The boy shouts across the desert, waving his hand. “Hello!” Ben smiles, and waves his hand in a silent greeting before he stands, joints creaking as he does, and turns back to his hut. Another day and the boy is safe. Cocooned in the silence of Tatooine, Ben takes comfort in the setting suns.

“Ben.” He hears the wind whisper, joining the deep baritone of Qui-Gon, the dulcet tones of Satine, the curt voice of Mace, the kind voice of Cody, and the young voice of Ahsoka. Luke’s toddler voice adds itself to the litany of voices, and Ben grins, watching the ever-changing dunes. Today was a good day. Seeing Luke usually makes his day, and this is one of those instances. A visit from his Master would do him good, he thinks. Soon, he will be too old for the lessons that the man has planned, but he plans to enjoy them while they last. Ben walks into the dunes, towards his hut. He might only have the ghost of one of the people who called him Ben, but he carries the other four close to his heart, carefully adding one more to that collection. The newest addition has a clear voice that is destined to deepen as he ages.  

“How was your day, Padawan?” Qui-Gon is standing in front of the hut, serene as he was in life. Perhaps even more so. 

Obi-Wan smiles wryly, feeling at peace for one of the first times in a while, “Quite nice, Master.”

Qui-Gon smiles indulgently, pleased that Obi-Wan still finds some joy in his life, “That is comforting to hear, Ben.”

[thewriterowl]

how about some headcanons about Obi Wan raising Luke alone?

I have always found this idea very sweet but also very sad, because obviously Obi Wan loves Luke but at the same time he feels guilty for what happened to Anakin and sees a lot of him in Luke and this is like a reminder of his failure.

And besides, he feels guilty for Luke because now Luke is forced to grow up in a hideous place and he lost his parents.

I think Obi Wan feels partly guilty for Padme's death too, if he had been able to help Anakin, Padme would probably have been saved too.

p.s a little touch of angst.

One day Luke called him dad.

Imagine Obi Wan's reaction.

I. LOVE. DADI-WAN. Obi-Wan raising Luke is greatness. I think Obi-Wan should've raised him (nothing against Beru or Owen). They both needed each other and would help the other heal (especially Luke to Obi-Wan as Luke just has that ability). Luke sometimes challenges Obi-Wan and his old beliefs, Obi-Wan ensures Luke is raised with kindness and love, and the boy just make the other better and stronger.

They don't stay on Tatooine all the time. They do travel at times and Luke is trained as a strong Jedi but is still this good smol bean of Light. Obi-Wan is panicked because Luke is so much like Anakin in how strong he is...but as the years go by, Obi-Wan begins to become comfortable and see Luke as his own person. This good, darling combination of both Anakin and Padme.

Obi-Wan will begin to really understand his mistakes with Anakin and, perhaps, realize that it wasn't all him...Anakin also made his own decisions. He'll start understanding that the prophecy failed not necessarily because of Obi-Wan but because Qui-Gon. Anakin needed a father, not a big brother, to be raised with. That was the biggest "failure" and it wasn't Obi-wan's fault. Letting the guilt and fault go is probably his biggest struggle. He has to come to an understanding that Anakin was an amalgamation of different choices and mistakes from different people. (the spirit of his former Master helps him with this).

Obi-wan is different for Luke because of his age and experience. He can be a father, like what Anakin needed, this time.

They communicate amazingly (if little Luke has a tantrum, Obi-Wan, quelling his own fear of Luke turning Dark, sits and talks with him about what he is dealing with--it helps with the Skywalker temper and gets Luke to become a bit self-aware of his emotions). They are a bit too mature at first (back to Obi-Wan's own fear) but it starts to become more comfortable after a while.

Especially when Luke, probably around 6 or 8, calls Obi-Wan dad. It makes the man cry. He almost pulls away at first but sees Qui-Gon, maybe even a somehow redeemed Dooku, glittering in the distances and nodding to help him with this path. So, from that point on he's dad.

Luke still doesn't know about Vader for some time, but he is aware that Obi-Wan isn't his blood-father and is aware there are things being hidden from him. He trusts Obi-Wan so much that he doesn't push until he knows they are both ready.

Luke is made aware of different things about Obi-Wan, one big thing being Cody (cause Codywan is a yes for me). He learns a lot about the Jedi and the Clone Wars. He knows of Anakin Skywalker being dead and who his mother was, and how Obi-Wan is the one who is looking after him for them. He learns of Ashoka and Rex, topics that make Obi-Wan the happiest without much bitterness...but Cody is what makes Obi-Wan the happiest and saddest at the same time.

Obi-Wan can only talk about him on occasion though.

Luke learns a lot about Jango Fett, the clones, Duchess Satine, and Mandalore...and needless to say he gets his dad's taste in them. After Luke meets his first Mandalorian he is doomed and talks about the attractive armor with Obi-Wan for days (Obi-Wan is in so much agreement). On the happier occasions as they gossip about how attractive Mandalorians are, Obi-Wan finds a holo picture of the clones in their prime

Luke may drool over Rex...by a lot.

Yes, Rex is Luke's first crush. Don't come at me. Beefcake Mandalorian who is very competent, strong, but has a great personality and makes for a wonderful big brother (coughDADcough) in a hot armor-uniform? Yeah, tween Luke has heart-eyes.

Luke also like Wolffe, all of the Bad Batch, and is always happy to swoon about Cody when Obi-Wan was able to too.

Luke really helps Obi-Wan start to move on and find happiness in his memories and not just sadness of the people he loved and lost.

They talk about attachment a lot and come to understand what it means under the Jedi way. Luke learns a lot from Kenobi who has suffered more than most but has been able to love without possessiveness and let people go.

Luke pulls an Anakin often when he is allowed to pilot. He's all about going as fast as possible.

Because of the strong Force connection, Luke also learns a lot from Qui-Gon and even Dooku. He learns of balance and temptation and forgiveness and choosing what is right over what is expected. Qui-Gon feeds into Luke's troublesome side and ensures he has a childish side and can be innocent and bright and happy.

Obi-Wan doesn't bring Luke into the rebellion. He is a little protective over Luke and doesn't want to bring him into a war when he's a child, there had been enough children soldiers, but he eventually has no choice.

Luke is hella powerful and strong but it still hurts him when he discovers who Vader is. But he still trusts and looks after Obi-Wan as his father, and he forgives and saves Vader like before as well.