#Golf Towels Funny

[gimmiegolfco]

Tee-rrific Laughs: Embrace the Fun with Funny Golf Towels

There’s no doubt funny golf towels are the way to go to add some humor to your time on the greens. Not content with just being a useful add-on, these towels inject a measure of fun and a j oi de vivre into the game, meaning that even people’s favorite dark horses no longer take the game as seriously as they used to.

Other than the practical function of making sure your clubs are clean and dry, one of the great things about funny golf towels is the variety of possible designs and sayings. From one-liners’ witty to cartoons, there are no limitations to humor when it comes to the design of a towel, and anyone can find a towel that fits with their sense of humor.

Furthermore, these towels are conversation starters. They’ll help your playing partners see the lighter side of life, promoting a more relaxed atmosphere.

Finally, let’s not forget that a personalized towel also makes a great gift, maybe for someone you know who enjoys a little humor.

In conclusion, Funny golf towels are the perfect way to turn even the dullest of moments on the course into unforgettable memories. Far from just being a practical towel, a funny golf towel is likely to put a smile on your face and that of your playing partners’ faces.

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

a really great (love?) story, m | kth

pairing(s): taehyung x reader

summary: Hot summer. South of France. On vacation with your younger brother's friends. Uh. Well, might as well make the most of it, despite Kim Taehyung making his weird comments every now and then. That damn French waiter put ideas in his head.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; Taehyung is obv trying to rizz up reader and reader is having none of it (but secretly likes it, keke); smut (fem reader, fingering, m-receiving oral); romantic and hella fluff; non-idol!AU; friends-to-lovers

I bought Tae's photobook and this is the result, what can I say, he's really pretty

--

“We’d make a really great love story.”

You grimaced and raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think so.”

He frowned. His tan skin sparkled in the sun while you stayed curled up under the shade of a white beach umbrella, extra bundled in a wide straw hat and a flowy white linen cover up over a black and red sporty bikini. Even in this heat, you kept a bright yellow beach towel over your legs, not taking any chances with the blaring fireball in the sky.

Kim Taehyung asked you a question.

“Would you date me?”

You answered honestly.

“Nope.”

“Why?”

“You're too good-looking and that'll only bring trouble.”

His crochet shirt was gone, leaving him in hip-hugging dark teal baggy shorts with white stripes down the sides. His dark brown hair was damp from the ocean, tangled over his forehead. When he smiled at your reply, he showed all his teeth in a boxy grin. Your indifferent expression didn’t change. You held onto your book. You continued to show your displeasure as he ran off, long legs and rippling back muscles, knowing full well you would soon be bothered again. Sigh. You turned the next page of your book, listening to the sounds of a rambunctious volleyball game, and wondered again why you had accepted your younger brother’s request.

Damn kid fractured his ankle right before his vacation. Non-refundable plane ticket to Europe. South of France, to be exact. Hot as fuck this time of year. He didn’t want to go because it would be a pain for his friends and he wouldn’t be able to have fun, he said. That and you knew he would rather your parents dote on him all day in prime air conditioning rather than sweat it out with fear-of-missing-out. You told him you had plenty of male friends that would be interested, but your brother insisted you needed to get that stick out of your ass and have a vacation.

So, here you were.

On vacation with your younger brother’s friends. On a beach, reading a book, and, oh, look, here comes Kim Taehyung with a bowl of frozen grapes, yelling your name.

Being annoyed.

The other guys were polite. They always asked if you wanted to join in any of the activities. Some days you stayed back at the rented beach property and puttered around, reading, resting, staring at the view. To be fair, you did try some of activities, such as spending all day on the golf course being really terrible at golf. When your head turned away, some of the boys would move your ball closer to the hole so you could maintain some dignity. Nice kids. You even accompanied them to a night beach club – and saw some things that you will never speak of, yikes – and danced with a couple European guys. At some places, you translated for them when you could. Thankfully, a lot of people in the touristy areas spoke some English. Studying English literature at university hadn’t been useless after all. Although, watching a bunch of Korean guys try to hand-gesture their way in conversations was pretty damn funny. In short, so far it was a surprisingly fun and nice vacation.

Until you went with Taehyung to a fancy café wanted to visit, you being his just-in-case English translator, and the waiter mistook you two as a couple.

That was awkward.

“Oh, no, sorry. Just friends.”

It was probably Taehyung feeding you his chocolate croissant. At first, you were going to refuse, but the pastries had been pretty expensive, and you had wanted to try a bite so he had held it out and let you chomp. Then things got weird once he lifted his hand with a laugh and wiped away from chocolate from the edge of your lip, licking it off his thumb.

You did get a free lemon macaron for being a cute couple once you immediately clarified that you weren’t.

The waiter had winked. Taehyung had just smiled because he didn’t understand.

Awesome.

Once you explained, the relentless teasing began. Well, maybe teasing was the wrong word. Taehyung would just say weird shit with a grin and those sparkly brown eyes of his. Because the other guys were not interested in cute pastries or pretty photo ops spots as seen on TikTok, Taehyung finally had a chance to see these places, using you as an excuse to drag you around at dawn or dusk when the main activities weren’t happening. You had probably taken about five hundred photos of Taehyung by now.

He was very photogenic, at least.

“I think you would look good in these,” he would say during one of the many shopping trips, holding up a pair of chocolate brown, slim sunglasses.

“I’m not as a dress-up doll,” you would grumble as you removed your current cat-eye-shaped dark lenses so he could delicately place the new ones on your nose and survey his handiwork. He would tilt your head this way and that and nod to himself solidly.

“I’m going to buy them, so you have to wear them.”

Thus, you now ticked your new sunglasses down and raised your eyebrow at him as he handed you the bowl of frozen grapes. You weren’t sure what he was playing at, but then he ran off to the guys playing volleyball and act like he hadn’t done anything strange. Hah. You would catch him looking back at you while you were sucking on said grapes and roll your eyes. Was that a smirk or a residual smile from the game?

“A hot summer romance sounds fun, right?”

“Go off, then,” you replied dryly, turning the page of your book.

It was nighttime now. The guys were getting ready to go bar-hopping. You heard some hushed whispers of coming back to jump into the sea at night while drunk. Idiots. You would possibly have to play lifeguard if they followed through on being idiots. Sigh. You elected to stay behind this time, to keep the lights on and all that. You had a few packs of ramyeon in your suitcase for such drunken nights. Nothing like spicy Buldak to finish off a spicy night.

Taehyung poked your shoulder. You knew it was him because of his low whisper and his inability to stop giggling at saying ridiculous shit. You waved a hand.

“Come with us.”

“I don’t need to see you boys twerking on table again. No thanks.”

You heard him suck on his teeth, disappointed. “Join in then.”

“That is a little too weird to be doing around my lil bro’s friends, even for me.”

You glanced at him. Despite his dark, strong features, Taehyung still held that boyish charm. Or maybe it was because you couldn’t see past him being your younger brother’s friend, so he always seemed like a kid to you. He was very popular among the locals. Every time you all stepped out, people would be flocking to speak to him even though Taehyung didn’t know any French (or English, for that matter). Didn’t seem to bother anyone though.

It must be his unquestionably handsome, expressive face.

Hm.

You looked up from your book about science, sex, and murder, to encounter Kim Taehyung’s pouty expression. He was wearing a linen white and sky-blue two-piece set. Short sleeve button up and shorts, complete with floppy brown sandals. He perked up at your acknowledgement. In contrast to his summer heartthrob vibe, you wore a low-waisted long black maxi skirt, a tight black tank, and a draping dark brown lace cardigan. The cardigan color matched his eyes and the slim sunglasses perched on your head that you soon wouldn’t need anymore. The sun was slipping down to bed.

One of the guys called out to you. “Noona, do you want anything while we’re out?”

“We can pick up a man for ya!” Another chimed in loudly with a snort.

Taehyung’s expression darkened.

“Just make sure to do a head count,” you shot back. “Everyone better stay safe or there’ll be hell to pay.”

“Ooookay!”

You caught Taehyung’s look. Didn’t say anything about it. He sighed and headed off to the kitchen with purpose as the other men began to pile out of the room. You figured he was pre-gaming or getting some water. You went back to the pages, only to start as you saw a glass and a chilled bottle of white wine slide in front of you.

Dark eyes looked down at you.

You gazed at him over the top of your book.

Reached up and untangled the sunglasses Kim Taehyung had gifted you. You placed them on the counter, next to the wine glass. He turned and left. The guys crowded by the door, gathering their things and laughing. One of them came back and handed you their gold watch – “I don’t want to break it by accident” “You mean, you don’t want to accidentally give it away because you get too happy when drunk?” – giggling with a silly grin and thanking you quickly before running out the door.

Before the door closed, you noticed Taehyung shooting you an enigmatic expression.

You ticked your head and looked back without much expression.

The wine was pretty good, but you didn’t have more than two glasses.

You remembered to put the watch on the appropriate nightstand before heading out to the back porch and reading as the sun went down. It was nice to read by the sunset waves in relative calm. You must have fallen asleep somehow, breathing in the sea and sounds of summer, only to be woken up by a gentle hand on your shoulder, calling your name from far away.

Hazy and deep.

“Hm?”

You shook your head and sat up, seeing Kim Taehyung looking back at you.

“Oh? What are you doing back so soon?” you yawned behind your hand, tucking your bookmark between the pages. “Or is it later than I thought?”

He shook his head of dark waves. He smelled a little like alcohol, but not too bad. “They’re still out. I told them my tummy didn’t feel too good.”

“Ah.” You chuckled. “Too much cheese this afternoon?”

There was a lantern on the back porch, along with a few lounge chairs and low lights that snapped away any pesky bugs. An orange glow dipped over you both. Taehyung had this look in his eyes that you had seen before, although not from him specifically. You were pretty sure every guy on this vacation had considered the same thing, although you had given them none of them a reason to fuck around and find out.

He gave you his puppy-like smile.

You gave him your usual cat-like expression that didn’t mean anything at all.

“You should go lie down,” you recommended.

“You’re my total opposite, I think,” Taehyung responded, which had nothing to do with anything. You didn’t respond to that, but you didn’t tell him he was wrong either. “I wonder what you’re like with your friends.”

You thought about the last time you were in a karaoke session with your few female friends. It had ended with one friend ragdolled on a stretcher and another girl dead asleep in your bathroom until noon of the next day. Stretcher girl was fine after some fluids and a nice, cute, hot male nurse making sure she was okay.

You had hooked up with him as a thanks. For yourself. And him, sorta.

“Girls are different than boys,” and you left it at that.

He raised his hand, spreading his fingers out.

You stared at it.

Taehyung reached over with his other hand and took yours, lifting it up and placing your palm to his.

You blinked slowly.

He was warm, as was the night air. Your hand was smaller, of course, but he wouldn’t be able to engulf it that easily. His palm was rough and worn from summer. From sun, from spiking a volleyball, from swimming in the salty sea. Yours was still soft from turning pages and sipping wine.

“I always thought you would want a very pretty, elegant girl who enjoys pink, parties, and flowers,” you commented, not yet removing your hand.

You did not go around perusing thoughts of your younger brother’s friends’ love lives, because that would be fucking weird. But it was a thought. Especially when you witnessed them get into or fall out of relationships. High school had been… yup. You had covered for lil bro and the boys a few too many times; you were a much better liar. With your parents usually gone for work, you were usually the one in charge, which meant you often played babysitter to way too many idiots. For some reason, over the years, they liked to ask for your opinion of their prospective girlfriends. You suspected it was because this course of action was safer than immediately introducing them to their mothers who were much scarier when it came to their sons. After all the question was always, what would my mom think of this person? You had tried to distance yourself as they all became older, but, alas.

Somehow you always got dragged back in to looking after them.

“There has to be a flower you like,” Taehyung insisted. “There are so many flowers in the world.”

You thought about it for a moment. “I like snowdrops.”

His face brightened. “Ah, yeah, that suits you. I see it.”

Your hands were still touching, palm-to-palm.

You tilted your head.

Taehyung didn’t move his hand away.

“I always thought you were a very pretty, elegant girl who enjoys black, quiet time, and snowdrops,” he said slowly, dreamily, his words turned into honey by his smooth, low voice.

You pointed out the obvious. “I only just told you I like snowdrops.” You scoffed lightheartedly. “And I enjoy quiet time because you all are so damn noisy.”

The sparkle in Taehyung’s eyes dulled a bit.

“Have you ever thought about it?”

You recalled him saying he told the others his stomach hurt. He must have picked up a thing or two from you over the years.

“About candlelit dinners? About going on night walks, buying convenience store snacks, and eating it at the kids’ playground when no one is around?” Taehyung asked one question after another. “About standing in the rain? Sharing an umbrella? Holding hands? About that leather jacket I have, borrowing it when you’re a bit cold, standing beside each other, waiting for the midnight train?”

He interlocked his fingers with yours.

You didn’t react much, other than saying, “You do look like the male lead in a romance drama, Kim Taehyung.”

The obvious was being avoided.

After a long moment, Taehyung let go of your hand, stood up, and went to his room.

You tried to put it out of your mind.

The night was warm enough that you napped a little more. Woke up a few hours later to make ramyeon and hydrate the group, earning many drunken handshakes of enthusiastic thanks. You stayed up a bit with them, learning of the night’s exploits despite the incoherent mess of their speech, and then sent them off to bed, one by one. Cleaned up, stared at the moon for a long time, and then headed to your room. Unlike the others, you weren’t sharing a room. It was small and cozy, as expected. You placed your book by your nightstand and sat in the dark.

You weren’t quite sleepy yet, but you got ready for bed anyway.

A few years ago, you and Taehyung had a… moment.

A very fleeting moment.

It had happened at bar. You had been turning the corner in the hallway to the bathrooms, and a hand grabbed your arm, yanking hard. Your body twisted, instantly on alert, but one look at the other person, and the shock had stopped you from pulling away, thereby allowing a drunken Kim Taehyung kiss you.

The contact had been in less than a second.

He had smelled like warm leather and musky embers.

Taehyung had immediately pulled away, sputtering your name, surprised that you both found yourselves at the same bar, the inopportune fate causing this fateful accident.

“I’m sorry, I thought you were someone else – how… when…?”

You had shaken your head quickly, turning, your passing whisper by his ear.

“Forget about it.”

You entered the bathroom as a girl rounded the corner and fell into Taehyung’s arms.

At that time, you had chalked it up to weird timing. A random encounter. You had been hooking up with a different guy in Daegu. Taehyung was from there, so it wasn’t totally improbable that you could cross paths. Bold move by him. Wasn’t unheard of, though. Guys could be like that. Girls liked that stuff. When you left the bathroom, the couple was gone, which was a relief. You had gone about your night and it ended as expected. That guy had a great ass. It had ended on good terms, but ended all the same.

You wondered what made him bring it up again.

After all, he was the type of man he was, always surrounded by people vying for his attention.

He knew the type of woman you were.

Well, you had started getting a reputation among Daegu men.

After a moment of reminiscing, you stood up to pull back the curtain at your window. Your room was on the lower floor, next to the back porch, and, like a dream, there he was, Kim Taehyung against the rail, leaning over it to look towards the ocean.

You blinked slowly.

He wasn’t exactly looking inside the house, but he must have noticed your movement, because his head turned, and now you were entangled in eye contact broken by a thin pane of glass.

The shadows danced across his face. The lantern light was off but the lower lights along the ground path were still on. For safety, likely. He was only wearing a pair of white, tie-front linen pants. You wondered if Taehyung had been waiting for you or if he was simply admiring the summer night. Hard to tell. A soft breeze ruffled through his dark hair. You stood in your room, one hand on the floral curtain, the other on the button placket of your black silk pajamas. Short sleeved and shorts, breezy and slinky, perfect for the summer weather.

Moonlight shimmered off his bare chest.

After a moment, Taehyung backed away from the rail. You watched him step down the porch and walk over to stand under your window.

He tapped the glass.

You opened it.

Those dark eyes stared at you, blocking the light with his frame.

The window opened inward, a vintage latch at the center to split the two panes. You leaned out a bit, bending slightly, and now you and him were at eye level, surrounded by the salted scent of the sea instead of the dark hallway of a bar next to the bathrooms.

“You stomach didn’t actually hurt, did it?” you asked.

Taehyung smiled, but didn’t reply.

Instead, he too leaned forward a bit, inhaling softly. You had a tendency to spray your perfume in your hair. It lasted longer that way. He could probably smell it off your hair right now.

“I thought I would be fine,” he said, looking into your eyes.

You didn’t say anything.

“I thought I could forget about it,” he breathed in that deep honey voice of his.

Your eyes shifted past his, then back.

You placed your elbows on the windowsill and leaned out. You inside. Him outside. Taehyung seemed like he was searching for something in your expression. You didn’t give him anything. You wondered what he would do. The alcohol must have worn off by now. You weren’t feeling the glasses of excellent white wine anymore, at least. You remembered how the French women at the night beach club had held his arms and leaned against him, complimenting his smile and cooing over his perfect skin and beautiful dark hair. He hadn’t stopped them.

But, also, Taehyung was closing the distance right now, his warm cologne entering your private space.

“Why couldn’t you forget?” you asked, his lips centimeters from yours, viewing him through lashes.

His head was already tilted. His eyes flickered up, having lowered by instinct.

“Couldn’t help but think that you would make a wonderful female lead in a romance novel.”

You smiled, noting the detail between your words and his.

His lips pressed against yours.

You held it for a moment. Soft, deep, breathing in the scent of each other. You drew apart, hearing him suck in a breath hastily. Half-smiled, amused by his nervousness. He raised his head. You shared a questioning look. The night ocean sang, soft waves lapping at the shore.

You tilted your head towards the inside of your room.

Taehyung hesitated for a second, but only for a second.

Less than a minute later, he slipped into your room. Opened and closed the door as quietly as the old wood would allow. You paused, wondering if he had a whole script memorized, being the romantic and all, but Taehyung lifted his eyes and it seemed like he forgot everything. It seemed you had to be the one to make a move. You still stood by the open window, in your black silk pajamas. Night bathed in moonlight.

Well, you did have a reputation among Daegu men. One more couldn’t hurt.

You lifted your hand, palm towards Taehyung.

He closed the distance, almost soundless, and lifted his hand too. Palm to palm. You looked down at your touching hands, then back up at him. He was quite tall, but he wasn’t imposing his presence over you.

“You think we would make a really great love story?”

The moon caught a hint of his blush.

“You don’t think so?” he replied, unsure in the wake of you teasing back for once.

You were honest with him.

“I really don’t know.”

You angled your hand slightly so your fingers and his no longer overlapped.

“You have to be sure that you’re okay with that.”

You let your eyes linger on his chest on purpose before raising your head to make eye contact. The memory of his lips lingered. It was just like how you remembered it, even from that rushed, barely a second, frozen-in-time moment.

His kiss, however brief, had a lasting, forever type of feeling.

“You asked me if I had ever thought about it.”

His eyes widened a little bit as you mentioned the previous conversation. Like a movie, the instances played back in your head. The accidental kiss. The awkward silences when you both found yourselves alone in the smallest of moments before brushing past each other. You noticed Taehyung dating on and off, yet not committing to anyone. The times when he would notice you with other guys and quickly look away, as if he witnessed something dirty or wrong. His behavior wasn’t intrusive. He didn’t push you towards anyone, but he didn’t pull you away either.

“Not really,” you admitted. “Mostly because I didn’t think you would want the challenge.”

Taehyung stared into your eyes, slipping his fingers in between yours, holding your hand tightly.

“I think I needed to grow up a little.”

You raised your eyebrows. Looked him up and down. “Seems like you grew a lot.”

He laughed, then toned it down despite the house currently snores abode. You knew what he meant and he knew the double meaning you implied. You lifted your other hand. His chuckling died down, watching. He tensed as the pads of your fingers made contact with his forearm, walking up his muscle.

“You had a plan, hm?���

Your whisper melted into the moonlight.

“I was…” His breath stilled when you stopped. You glanced up, your fingertips poised at the bend of his elbow. “I was… going to ask you what kind of lover you are.”

You ticked your head, not yet moving your hand. “What about you?”

Taehyung’s dark eyes were barely visible under his hair fallen over his forehead.

“Yours.”

You paused.

His shoulder lifted in the lightest of shrugs.

“I heard you’re really good. Sometimes rough.”

Word got around then.

“I’m really good. Sometimes soft. So, we will balance out,” he said with a smile.

You removed your hand from his skin.

Your whisper so low it was nearly a growl.

“Is that what you think?”

The fingers of your raised hand spread. Curved. Danced over his neck. Taehyung started slightly at the contact of your middle finger sliding over his throat, your eyes locked with his, and you traced up, into the pocket of his jaw, closing your fingers around the back of his head and pulling his face down to yours.

And you kissed him.

Slow. Soft and intense at the same time, drawing in your breath. For a moment, Taehyung was suspended in surprise before leaning in, gasping against your lips, tangled in your tongue before he knew it. His own hand came up to cup your cheek, more to stabilize himself than for the passion, but then it all meshed together, kiss after kiss. One hand tangled in his hair and the other resting in the dip of his warm chest. He had one hand on your face and the other skimming along your elbow.

Surrounded by salt air and shadows.

You broke the kiss, pulling back with a sigh.

You half-expected him to retreat. Taehyung was one to flirt and not back it up. You were one to not flirt; instead, the first to move. He must have known that. For once, you played the role of the gentlemen this time, waiting for his choice. Toying with a half-smile on your lips, the erratic rise and fall of his built chest under your fingertips. Racing heart. Lingering taste. His dark eyes surveyed you under the messiness of his beach-loved hair.

In silence, you stared into his eyes, daring him to sin.

There must have been something in the French night air.

Taehyung tilted his head, feathering air-light kisses over your jaw. Your neck. You tilted your head back, to the side, letting out a sensual exhale at the tingling of your pulse. Your fingers touched the button placket of your pajamas, leisurely unbuttoning one by one. You felt his fingers ghost over one shoulder, pushing it down, exposing skin to air.

He spun you around, pressing your back to his chest.

You leaned your head back against his collarbone, silk draping down your arms.

Felt him whisper your name into your ear, low and tainted with lust.

His hands covered your chest, fingers spread, large palms hovering, statuesque in pose. Demure for half a second. Moonlight streaming over your torso. You arched your back, and Taehyung sucked in a breath, feeling your naked breasts fill his hands. His lips brushed against your neck, shuddering, and you rubbed your hard nipples into his rough palms, grazing your ass over his crotch.

“Fuck…”

You turned your head, viewing him from your periphery, melting into his touch without a word.

Your hands migrated to his sides, sliding down, adorning his hips with your curved fingers.

Taehyung moaned softly, his eyes closing. Hands all over your chest, igniting desire. Hungry but deliberate, no sense in rushing, moving to the sound of the sea. His erection pressed into the dip of your ass, linen and silk separating the skin to skin but not enough to hide the hardness to softness. Exhale. His arms crossed over your chest, soft lips on the base of your neck, and you felt him ghost his fingers down, down, past your bellybutton, dancing over the waistband of your shorts.

With one swift movement, you turned your wrist and covered the back of his hand with yours, dragging him in between the layers.

He gasped as he felt your slick wetness coat his fingertips.

Your other hand slid into his pants, grabbing his ass, pinning Taehyung to you while you pressed his fingers into the outer lips, rocking your hips into it, grinding on his growing arousal, grinning when you heard him swear under his breath again.

He shoved a finger into you.

You both moaned at the same time, the sound drowned by the crashing tide outside.

You pressed another in, and he got the hint. Middle and ring finger, his palm pressed to your throbbing clit, and you rode his hand before he moved, blossoming the pleasure all on your own. His moan rumbled in his chest, biting his lip to avoid any obvious noise. The wet sucking sound was conspicuous enough, and you tightened your core, your pussy clenching around his fingers, prompting Taehyung to lean his chin onto your shoulder, his dark hair brushing against your cheekbone, one hand teasing your nipples, the other between your legs, delicious sparks flying through your body knowing he was actively watching.

“The sounds you make… are insane…”

You weren’t aware until he said it. Soft, breathless gasps drifted out of your own lips, inaudible to anyone except for the inescapable closeness of Taehyung pinning you to his tense body. You could feel the shake creep down to your legs, your silk shorts slipping down your thighs, the fullness of each thrust making your lightheaded. And then, you felt Taehyung slightly curve his fingers.

You sucked in a breath, your eyes shutting, seeing stars, pleasure and want increasing tenfold.

“A-Ah, yes… Taehyung…”

His name polluted by sensuality. Foreign but not unwelcome. A sudden arousing surge of lovely wrongness – after all, you should not be fucking one of your younger brother’s closest friends – but you could tell it had an effect on him too. He squeezed your nipple, making you hiss, and then you felt his tongue flat against the side of your neck, sliding up, his breath hot, his impossibly deep voice husky, his command pleading.

“Cum for me.”

You raised yourself to tiptoes, the curve of your ass against his twitching bulge, and sank your nails into his hip as you came, spilling onto his palm in vibrating shivers, delicately moaning to the ceiling. The intense high rushed up your center, through your limbs, all over your nerves, and you let it take over, shuddering, growing limp in Taehyung’s flexed arms.

As expected, he did not drop you.

You stayed in the heady fog of orgasm, slowly waking as if in a lucid dream. Turned your head and found his lips, or perhaps his lips found yours. It was hard to tell. You drew his tongue into your mouth, sucking on it, sensing a growing desperation in the shallowness of his breath.

You pried your fingernails from his hip, rueful. “I got carried away. My bad.”

A hint of a mischievous smirk on Taehyung’s lips. “I never said I didn’t like it.”

You questioned him with half-moon eyes.

“Someone might see.”

The smirk morphed into more of a roguish smile. There he was. “I can say I got scratched up while roughhousing. They’re not gonna think twice about it,” he teased.

“Tch. Tricky, tricky, aren’t you, Kim Taehyung?”

You twisted like a dancer, breaking from his embrace. He let you go, somewhat reluctantly. His right hand was still glistening, covered in your orgasm. He glanced at it, mesmerized, before realizing you were kicking away your shorts and panties, tossing your unbuttoned top onto the bed. His eyes widened when your hand came into contact with his chest. You slid down. In one swift movement, you lowered to a squat, right in front of the massive tent in his pants.

Taehyung had but a second to intake a breath.

You grazed your palm down his stomach, his bellybutton, to the tie of his pants. Tugged on it, unlacing it, and then you hooked your thumbs onto the sides of the waistband and pushed them down.

Part of you was mildly shocked Taehyung was going commando.

The other part of you thought that was pretty on brand for him.

You weren’t too surprised by what you saw. He was well-kept, clean, and not fully hard yet. The latter was mostly a guess from experience. It wasn’t polite to stereotype Daegu men, but, well. If the shoe fit and all that. You raised your eyes, amused at his stunned expression, and then leaned forward to lick along the thickening length.

“Oh, shit…”

He must have expected you to simply put his cock in your mouth or wrap your hand around it. Instead, you pressed your lips to the hot, velvety skin, decorating him with kisses before flickering out your tongue and wrapping it over the head, rubbing your lips against the underside. Back and forth, curling your tongue around the swelling tip, licking off the leaking pre-cum.

He tasted strong. More enjoyable than most.

You looked up as you worked his shaft. Taehyung gasped and his cock twitched as if to affirm his attraction.

“F-Fuck, what…?”

“You should taste my cum while I suck you off,” you murmured against his balls, licking them all over as you spoke.

He wasn’t used to the multiple sensations. You could tell by his heavy pants and the tension rippling all over his torso. How unfortunate, but you would make up for that right now.

“O-Okay… fuck…”

You watched Taehyung slide his fingers into his open lips and his eyes rolled back, groaning deeply as your essence hit his tongue. In one fluid flick of your head, you swallowed his cock, relaxing as your lips pressed to the base, feeling his girth stretch out your throat. You lowered your tongue, bringing him deeper, and perhaps it was a good idea to have Taehyung lick his fingers off. His shocked whine was stifled by his own hand. You paid it no mind, slowly pulling back and diving forward, his scent filling your nose every time you inhaled, catching glimpses of him sliding his fingers in out of his mouth with each ascent.

Somehow Taehyung made the depraved act look almost dreamy.

Your fingertips balanced on the floorboards, lowering your knees to better support yourself. Not using your hands out of pride. You even leaned your head back, both to gain more air and to take him deeper with less resistance. You saw Taehyung pull his fingers out of his mouth, strings of saliva beading on his lower lip, balancing his fingers by his shivering exhales as he watched you, entranced.

You let the pleasure reflect in your eyes.

“How… wow… fuck, your tits and thighs look so good at this angle…”

The strain was prickling through your limbs. You were far too engrossed in your task to care, feeling your pussy dampen from the intoxicating adrenaline, closing your eyes to focus on the pace. Steady, intense, listening to the deepening sound of his groan, his cock throbbing in your throat, signaling he was close, and then his voice ceased, suspended, lost in the warm, encompassing reverie.

His hips tensed, snapping forward, and Taehyung gasped your name.

His hot orgasm gushed onto the back of your tongue, filling your mouth with the viscous, heady flavor, making you as lightheaded as he sounded. Through his jerking length you could feel the flinches ravage his body, and all of a sudden his large hand pressed against the back of your head, holding you down to the brink of danger.

You swallowed, trying to grasp for a sliver of oxygen.

Taehyung almost doubled over, his erotic cry muffled by his other hand slapping over his mouth, and he half-pulled out of your closed lips, only to slide back in again, slowly, groaning above your head. He was trying to keep quiet and contain his sound within the walls of this room. Everyone else in the house was probably too drunk to string a sentence together, let alone figure out sex was happening under the same roof, but it was best not to take any chances.

His expansive girth was trembling, softening as his sensitivity increased. None of that stopped him from continuing to thrust in post-orgasmic bliss, lengthening his pleasure. You swirled your tongue around him and Taehyung trembled, whispering sweet nothings like smoke, his words melding with the melodic sound of ocean waves.

After a few more thrusts, his grip lessened, backing off.

You drew back, licking your lips, throwing your head back, breathing in a long, greedy gulp of fresh salty air. There was something ethereal about the whole scene. If it wasn’t for the ache in your knees, you might have been deceived into thinking it never happened. His memorable taste was still on your tongue. You swallowed again, and then felt a hand on your elbow.

Wordlessly, you opened your eyes and let Taehyung lift you to your feet.

He stared at you, his hair over his eyes, breathing hard. His chest glistened in the moonlight. The rest of him was shadowed by your naked body.

“I…”

You waited.

“I… I should have asked if you…” He trailed off, grasping your arm tightly.

You half-smiled. “You thought I wouldn’t want to?”

There seemed to be a pink flush on his cheeks. His ears were certainly turning red. “I first wanted to ask you… No, Invite you on a proper date. Not on this vacation but… sometime soon?”

You couldn’t help but tease him. “Why so nervous when we’re naked in front of each other?”

Taehyung spared a glance down and then blushed deeper, clearing his throat. “I don’t know. I’m not usually nervous.” His dark eyes drifted back to your face. “I always thought you were beautiful. But too good for me.”

That almost made you laugh. “Too good? You know my reputation, Taehyung, and ‘good’ does not describe it.”

He shook his head.

Tugged on your arm, pulling you towards him.

“Yin and yang.”

He brought his forehead down, touching yours.

“You need both to have a really great love story.”

You breathed in his rich, warm scent, and leaned in to kiss him again. The sea, the salt air, the heat between you and him, burning, and the next day you were sitting under the beach umbrella again, laying on a teak lounger, book in hand, chocolate brown sunglasses perched on the end of your nose, secretly observing sun-kissed Kim Taehyung diving into the foamy waves as he snuck glances back at you, admiring your watchful form.

You smiled in shade as Taehyung dazzled in the sun.

--

masterpost

[stormblessed95]

Watching Are You Sure?! EP 5

A reminder of how I do these reaction posts as I watch things. I just write my reactions and thoughts down literally they happen. Think more of a bullet point format. I'll include links when I can to videos, thanks to the people who twt who upload clips. And at the end, I'll do a better wrap up of all my opinions. I hope everyone enjoyed the show so far!!

Chef JK! Salt bae JK! Absolutely smitten and endeared Jimin!

Jimin absolutely indulging and encouraging JKs cooking enjoyment by asking him questions about his process was so cute. Tae giving such earnest compliments

The way Jikook chugged their Soju lmao damn guys

Jimin making ssam to feed the staff and JK saying no perilla leaves was Hysterical only because of the whole perilla leaf history he has 😂🤣

JK popping open the Soju in increasingly silly ways while Jimin watched absolutely endeared and smitten once again. Until Tae accused him of teaching JK that and he had to defend himself lol

Jimin calling JK very handsome 🥰

Only 2 months until their service 🥺

Them talking about how they don't think they will fight at all when enlisted together..only help each other. And JK saying he hopes they even sleep right next to each other. No one can say they both didn't desperately want to do this together!

Jimin never letting JK elbowing him in his sleep go!

Jimin so demurely petting and loving on the cat while JK runs, jumps, playing and acts crazy while loving on the puppy is so them and so funny 😂

Vminkook car karaoke 😍😍😍

Jimin sneaking out of the pool to go spray JK who was still inside on his phone lol

Vmin teaming up on JK as soon as he gets in. Lol pretty sure Jimin probably pinches his butt behind that wall 😂 and his nipples at one point too lol

Taking turns sleeping on the bottom of the pool 😂

Poor Jimin got water up his nose lmao!

JK pulling Jimin to the top of the pool by his hair was a CHOICE lol he pulled it knowledgeably at least 😅😭😂🤣 I know too much about them at this point. Honestly

Too many fun under water games 😂🥰💜

JK playing a prank on Jimin and locking him out of the house lmao and him signing that he is annoying and to open at him 😂🤣

JK saying he is cold and Jimin starting to open his arms like he is going to hug him 💜

Not them having a towel fight 😂🤣🤣

Tae fully just claimed Jimin's bed and made Jikook choose the other two. Lmfao and the way they fought over who had to take the lower bed, but in a "no no, I'll do it's way 😍

Jimin waking up and first thing going to snuggle JK 😭🥰😭🥰

And then we cut and somehow Jimin lost his shirt and is waking JK up very obnoxiously lmao

Tae leaving early in the morning to go golfing with the Wooga squad! Look at him splitting his time so effectively and probably taking a break from the jikookery lol

JK photosynthesizing 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Jimin taking forever to get ready and JK trying to hustle him along was peak domestic behavior lmfao

Jimin wearing the perfume because JK said he likes it 🥰 cuteeee

Tae getting dropped off for their next meal all together and the Vmin hug 💜

Jikook telling Tae they were up till 4am and Jimin fell asleep phone scrolling?! Lol what were y'all doing all night?? You need more sleep! I say, typing this at midnight my time lol

I need my babies to stop counting calories 😭

Tae ruffling JKs hair and him trying on Tae's glasses is soooo cute! Jimin trying them on too! They all look so good in everything.

Not them arguing over if it's ham or pink sausage. Lmfao JK getting so upset about it that he asked the waitress and his "hah" back at Jimin over it! Lmfao Jimin being like whooo hey. It's just food. And their "apologies" to each other. Lol! They are so extra over everything lol How come Tae started this argument and it ended up mostly between Jikook 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Jimin basically telling JK he is happy if JK is happy 🥰 he loves him ❤️

"JK drinking soda means round 3 has just begun" lol Jimin showing off his JK knowledge 😂

Tae spent most of this episode when not actively playing with Jikook on his phone. Part of me wishes we got to see more of him with his other friends too, but I'm glad he made time to hang out with Jikook before they all enlisted too 🥰

Tae baby was so sleepy! He slept through the whole car ride basically and then came back to nap fully too. Jimin woke him up so softly 🥰

JK at a restaurant in NY while doing Golden promo alone with staff and immediately thinking about how he wants to make it for Jimin because "Jimin would love it" is so freaking cute and precious and sweet

JK didn't just cook stew for Jimin or Vmin, but for the entire staff. And I love him so much for that. The sweetest human he is

Jimin napping while JK cooks too 🥰

Jimin somehow lost his shirt at some point while everyone was coming to get food. Lol who knows why, maybe it's just titties out as appreciation for the cook? 😂😂

Both Jikook expressing that they loved having V there and that he helped make it so fun and that a maknae line trip made them feel really young again. And you could tell too. They were so silly! I love these 3 so much!!

Wrap up Thoughts:

So Jikook knew by the end of September that they would enlist together. And the palpable relief they both clearly felt over that was so so clear. This 100% made the experience way more tolerable for them. I'm so glad that they have each other. The difference in the way they talk about military service, especially JK, in the US and in Jeju is striking. In the US, JK started playfully smacking Jimin when he would bring it up, it caused him tension and anxiety and he clearly didn't want to talk about it, especially on camera. While here in Jeju, they know they will be together and they are relaxed, making jokes, expressing their happiness about getting to go together. Expressing their surety about how nice and helpful it will be to have the other there and their faith and trust in each other. How they want to wake up to each other. It's beautiful

I don't like calling any of the members 3rd wheels unless it's stupidly obvious it's a joke, but this episode Tae was third wheeling a bit at times. Jikook seem to have a tendency to hyper focus on each other at times during conversation. When they were all playing and being silly, I never once got 3rd wheel vibes. Only during times of heavy conversation while they were eating. Tae also kept pulling out his phone. He was clearly in touch with amother group of friends during that time as well who were also in Jeju, and him trying to split so much of his attention also probably fed a bit of those third wheel vibes a bit too. I'm so glad he was there with them though. Jikook also were as well. They all had such a good time together and seeing them and sharing in the love they all share is so healing for me personally. I hope Tae had the best time on Jeju with them and his Wooga Squad too! 💜💜💜

And that's all I've really got for this episode. It was a lot of mostly just sleeping and eating and playing this episode! Lol I can't wait to see what Sapporo brings!

[blckbarbiedoll]

I beg you, don't embarrass me, motherfucker (Patrick Zweig x f!black!reader)

Based on this post by @luvmoonie

(Let's pretend that Patrick and Art didn't know Tashi yet and that Patrick actually went to college😭This takes place in the college era. I'm so sorry if this is ooc or badly written btw I literally went through 4 drafts for this.)

I know I have good judgement I know I have good taste It's funny and it's ironic That only I feel that way Let's face it, you didn't exactly have the best track record for good boyfriends. Although you'd never admit to it. It just seemed like each guy you saw was worse than the last. You had decided to stop focusing on guys and start focusing on school and gymnastics. Until you met him. Patrick Zweig.

Against your better judgment, you and your roommate, Tashi, had decided to take a well deserved study break and go to a party being held at frat house. Everything was going fine until she left you to make out with some random guy. You walked over to the drink table and poured an unknown alcohol into a red cup. You quickly turned around and collided with someone.

"Shit!" You cursed, spilling the drink on your dress. "Watch where you're going!"

"You bumped into me, sweetheart." The tall brunette man replied. He took a puff of his cigarette before blowing the smoke to the side.

"Asshole." You scoffed before going into a bathroom to clean yourself up.

"Let me help." He followed you into the bathroom and grabbed a hand towel before wetting it.

"I can do it." You took the towel and patted it on your dress.

"Sorry about your dress." He took another puff and blew the smoke forward.

"Can you not?" You waved the smoke away.

"Sorry." He put it out on the sink and tossed it into the toilet.

You rolled your eyes and groaned with disgust. "You're fucking gross."

"I'm Patrick."

"Good for you."

He chuckled and smirked down at you. "Ya know, this is the part where you tell me your name."

"And why would I do that?"

"I told you mine."

"Which I didn't ask for."

"Oh, you're that kinda girl?"

"What?"

"The girl who acts like she's too good for everyone."

"Not everyone. Just you."

"Is that so?"

"Yep."

"Tell me your name."

"Why?"

"Because, when I meet a beautiful girl, I wanna put a name to the pretty face."

He was annoying as shit, but he was good with his words. And so fucking hot.

"How many girls have you said that to tonight?"

"Just one."

"Should I be flattered?"

"Oh, I'm sure you're flattered all the time."

He leaned one arm against the doorframe, trapping you in between him and the door. His towering figure was scaring you and turning you on at the same time. He took the towel from your hand and set it on the sink.

"y/n." You softy spoke.

You looked down, trying to hide your grin. He placed his hand under your chin and lifted your head to meet his gaze. You melted at his touch.

"See? Was that so hard?"

"If you kiss me, I swear to god I'll kick you in the balls."

"Sure you will." He smirked, slowly leaning in to press his lips to yours.

❤︎

A few weeks later, Tashi came into you room and sat on your bed. Her grin was a mile wide as she waited for you to say something.

"Can I help you?"

"You know that guy I've been seeing?"

"The blonde?"

"Mhm."

"What about him?"

"We're going out Friday night, and he suggested a double date."

"Oh, god."

"He asked if I had a friend for his friend."

"No."

"Please?" Tashi begged you.

"No! I don't even know the guy!"

"It's just mini golf. You'll barely have to talk to him."

You sighed and thought about it for a second. How bad could it be? "Fine. But you're buying me lunch for a week."

"Deal."

Whatever devil's inside you, don't let him out tonight

You pulled up to the mini golf place and waited outside for your dates.

"You excited?" She asked you.

"Oh, yeah. I can't wait."

She rolled her eyes and smiled when she saw the guys.

"That's them!" She led you over to the two men. The blonde who you saw her with at the party, and a familiar brunette. "Art, this is y/n."

"Nice to meet you."

"Yeah, you too."

"This is my friend, Patrick."

"We've met." You both said in unison.

"See?" She smiled. "And you were worried about not knowing the guy."

"So, should we head over there?" Art asked.

"Yeah." Patrick smirked. "Let's head over there."

You all got the clubs and balls before heading to the course. Art and Tashi were caught up with each other, leaving you and Patrick alone. Hit pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it before taking a puff.

"You can't smoke in here."

"In where? We're outside."

"We're on a golf course."

"It's mini golf."

"You're gonna get in trouble."

"Who's gonna say something? The plastic hippopotamus over there?"

"Whatever."

You rolled your eyes and got ready to hit the ball.

"You're doing it wrong." He smirked.

"No I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"Shut up." You swung the club and hit the ball into the small pond across the course. "Shit."

"Nice job. You should go pro." He chucked.

"Fuck you."

"What'd I do to you?"

"What?"

"I thought we were getting along really well at the party. But two weeks later, you act like I killed your fucking puppy."

You rolled your eyes at his analogy. "I was drunk that night. We weren't getting along, I was just horny."

"Yeah right. You telling me you haven't thought about me at all?"

"That's exactly what I'm telling you."

"I don't believe that."

"You're such an arrogant little shit."

"Wow. I can't believe I let you kiss me with that mouth." You raised the golf club and whacked it against his shin. "Ah! Motherfucker!" He groaned.

After completing the course and getting dinner, Art and Tashi went in her car back to campus, while you were stuck with Patrick.

"We'll meet you there!" She smiled as she drove away.

You sighed and got into the passenger seat. Patrick hit the gas and drove down the road.

"Why didn't you call me?" He asked.

"I didn't have your number, dumbass."

"If you did, would you have called."

"Probably not."

He sighed and pulled into an empty lot before putting the car in park. He took his seatbelt off and turned to you. "Can we start over?"

"What're you doing?"

"We're probably gonna be spening a lot of time together, and I don't wanna feel like you hate me."

"I don't hate you, I just don't like you."

"Why not?"

"You're annoying, presumtuous, skeezy, and you think everyone wants to fuck you, which they don't."

"You did."

"I was drunk."

"You're not drunk now."

"Well, I don't wanna fuck you now."

"Yes, you do." He leaned over the center console and kissed you softly. You had every oppritunity to push him away. But you didn't. Instead, you encouraged it.

All I'm asking, baby Please, please, please don't prove 'em right Please, please, please don't bring me to tears when I just did my makeup so nice

It had been a month since that night in the parking lot. Tashi and Art were happy together, and you and Patrick were...keeping each other company. The two of you had been getting pretty close, literally and figuratively. After actually getting to know him, you started to really like him.

"Are you and Patrick dating?" Tashi asked as you walked in from the gym.

"Uh..." You thought for a second. It was never something that you had actually discussed. "I don't know."

"You don't know."

"No."

"No, you don't know? Or, no, you're not dating?"

"We're not dating." I think.

"Good."

"Good?"

"Yeah." She slipped her shoes on. "It was fine for a few double dates, but not for anything more. He just isn't your vibe."

"So, you think we'd be a bad couple?"

"Not necessarily. I just think you'd regret it. He'll probably just end up embarrassing you."

"Embarrass me how?"

"Let's just say, if I was gonna go pro and try to go to the olympics, Patrick Zweig is not the guy I'd want my name being attached to."

She gave you a smile before heading out the door. You sat on your bed and processed what she had just told you. Would Patrick really embarrass you?

Heartbreak is one thing, my ego's another I beg you, don't embarrass me, motherfucker, oh Please, please, please Over the past few weeks, you had been thinking about what you really wanted. Patrick was rough around the edges, sure. But he was sweet, funny, and a really good lay. Plus, you really, really liked him. Then you thought about what Tashi said. Was Patrick Zweig really the guy you wanted to be seen with while trying to be taken seriously?

"Did you hear what I said?" He asked, putting the car in park.

"Huh? Oh, sorry. I zoned out."

"I said we should do dinner after this."

"Yeah, sure. Where?"

"That new Italian place down the street?"

"That's pretty fancy for Patrick Zweig." You chuckled. "What's the special occasion?"

"y/n, I wanna take things seriously with you."

"Wow. I never expected that from you."

"Why not?"

"You just don't seem like the kind of guy to want something serious."

"I wasn't. But I am now."

"So, are we dating now?"

"Depends."

"On what?"

"You. What do you want?"

That was the question you had been asking yourself. What did you want?

"I..." You hesitated. "I want you, Patrick."

He smirked and grabbed your hand before softly kissing it.

"I want you too."

"But you have to promise me something."

"Yeah. Anything."

"Please, please, please, don't embarrass me."

"Embarrass you?"

"I know what kinda guy you are. Or at least the kinda guy you used to be. I'm getting a lot of attention and the last thing I need is some news story saying that my boyfriend is a sleazy douchebag."

"Sleazy and a douchebag? Wow." He chucked.

"I'm serious. I beg you, don't embarrass me, motherfucker."

"Hey, I'm not like that anymore. I really think you could make an honest man outta me."

"Woah. Let's slow down." You giggled. "I like you just as my boyfriend for right now."

"I like that too."

Well, I have a fun idea, babe Maybe just stay inside I know you're craving some fresh air But the ceiling fan is so nice (It's so nice, right) And we could live so happily If no one knows that you're with me I'm just kidding, but really (Kinda), really, really You were packing up your gym bag when your coach came up behind you.

"y/n! Great job today!"

"Thanks!"

"Listen, you've been getting a lot more publicity since your meet last week."

"That's a good thing, right?"

"It's a great thing. But, you need to be careful. With the U.S. Classic coming up, you're being watched more than ever now. I would hate for you to get some bad press and ruin your career so soon."

"Yeah. I totally agree."

"Just steer clear of doing anything or hanging out with anyone negative. Publicly, at least."

She gave you a smile before walking out of the gym. You sat on the bench and held your head in your hands. How was this gonna work?

❤︎

You laid with your head on Patrick's chest as he stroked your hair. His other hand was on your bare hip while his thumb rubbed slow circles on your skin.

"What time is Tashi coming back?"

"Five. We've got a few hours."

"You wanna grab lunch?"

"Yeah." You slowly sat up. "I'll run down to the cafeteria."

"Or, we could go out to lunch."

"Maybe another time. My coach said I should steer clear of negative publicity right now."

"I thought I was doing a pretty good job of not embarrassing you." He said, clearly irritated.

"I just don't wanna give anyone a reason to say something."

"Yeah." He nodded. You could tell he was slightly hurt despite his soft smile. "Whatever you want."

You gave him a sympathetic kiss on the cheek before sitting up to grab your clothes.

"I'll bring up some food."

Please, please, please don't prove 'em right Please, please, please don't bring me to tears when I just did my makeup so nice

Since Tashi started dating him, you and Art actually became pretty good friends. The two of you were eating dinner in the cafeteria while your partners were each finishing up some work.

"Can I ask you a question?" He asked, picking up some broccoli with his fork.

"Yeah. Shoot."

"What do you see in Patrick?"

"Uh, well.." You leaned back in your chair and thought for a moment. "He's handsome, funny, really sweet-"

"Patrick Zweig is not sweet. He's an asshole."

"Yeah, but he's a sweet asshole." You chuckled. "Why're you asking anyway?"

"Just wondering."

"Art."

"What?"

"Why're you asking about Patrick?"

"Nothing. I was just curious why you'd choose someone like him."

"Someone like him?"

"y/n, you're kind, smart, motivated, I could go on and on. Patrick is crude, uncommitted, and unserious. I love the guy, but he's a hot mess."

"He's my mess, Art."

"You need someone more put together. Someone more like you."

"Right. More like me."

"I'm serious. He'd only embarrass you."

You huffed and leaned back in your chair. He was right. You hated to admit it, but he was right. Patrick was a mess. But did you like him enough to stay with him?

Heartbreak is one thing, my ego's another (Heartbreak is one thing, my ego's another) I beg you don't embarrass me, motherfucker, oh Please, please, please The past three and a half months had felt like a fever dream. Between getting together with Patrick, the end of the semester, and the U.S. Classic, you felt like you were on top of the world. Patrick had flown out to Michigan with you to support you. Once the meet was over, and you had won gold, he insisted on taking you out to dinner.

"You really didn't have to." You told him as the two of you stood outside the restaurant. "I would've been fine sitting in the hotel room eating room service."

"I know you would've. But you deserve a five star meal."

"And who's paying?"

"My dad."

"What?"

"I told him I needed money for next year's books."

You laughed and kissed him softly. He pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it.

"Can you not?"

"I'll blow it away from you."

"Smoking is a bad habit that I don't want you being caught doing." You took it from in between his lips and stomped on it.

"What the fuck?"

"You already got in trouble for racket abuse, twice might I add. All these little things are gonna add up."

"What, are you grading me on being an upstanding citizen?"

"Yes, actually. You should be lucky there's no cameras here like there was at the hotel."

"You care way too much about publicity. As long as you're good at your sport, who gives a shit what you do in your personal life?"

"You don't get it. When you do something unsavory, it's always, 'Wow. Patrick Zweig is a mess. What's wrong with y/n l/n? Why did she choose him?' It affects me too."

"Hey." He grabbed your hands. "Relax. Let's just go inside and we'll talk about this later."

"Excuse me?" A young girl came up to you. "Sorry to bother you. I saw your meet earlier, and I just wanted to say that you were amazing."

"Thank you." You gave her a smile.

"Could I get your autograph?" She handed you a pen and paper.

"Sure." You signed the paper and waved as she walked away. "I'm going back to the hotel."

"What about dinner? I made reservations."

"You stay. I'll catch up with you later."

If you wanna go and be stupid, don't Do it in front of me

The sound of squeaking bars and feet hitting the mats filled your ears. You were standing in front of the mat, taking deep breaths before you went into a roundoff on the springboard. As you were going into a back handspring, you slipped and fell on the mat. Again.

"What's going on, y/n?" Your coached asked. "You've been out of it all week."

"I'm just distracted. I'm sorry."

"You still thinking about that boy?"

"He's my boyfriend."

"He's a distraction. If you wanna get to the olympics next year, you can't afford any distractions."

"I know. I just-"

"I don't tell you what to do when you're off the mats, but don't let a guy ruin your chance at success. At happiness."

You sighed and got up to take a sip of your water.

❤︎

'Knock, knock.'

"Hey." Art said as he opened the door. "Pat's not here."

"Yes, he is. I can hear his music."

He sighed before letting you in. "I'm gonna give you guys some space." He gave you an awkward smile before leaving the room.

"Hey." You smiled.

"Hey."

"Can we talk?"

"If you're gonna give me another lecture about not embarrassing you, you can save it."

You sat on the foot of the bed.

"Pat-" You huffed. "I am so sorry."

"You are?"

"I was wrong. I should never have asked you to not be yourself. I spent so much time caring about what other people thought of me, and I didn't even think about the most important opinion. Yours."

"It's okay."

"My coach said I shouldn't let you get in the way of my happiness, but I'm happiest when I'm with you. Even when I'm out on the mat, I miss you." You grabbed his hands. "You make me happy, Patrick."

"You make me so fucking happy." He grinned. "I never thought a girl like you would give me a chance. I know I can be a little rough sometimes."

"I love you exactly the way you are." You moved closer to him and placed your hand on his cheek. "And you shouldn't change for anyone. Including me."

"You love me?"

"I..." You thought for a second. "I do. I love you, Patrick."

He smirked before leaning in to press your lips together.

"I love you too."

Please, please, please (Please) Please, please, please (Please) Please, please, please (Please) Please, please, please (Please, please)

@swetearss

[bluesmason]

ok but imagine you’ve joined mason in dubai because you weren’t able to make it to qatar due bc of work so he asked you to spend his few days off with him and some of his mates 🥺 so the alarm you set last night bc of your plans with the others later wakes you up and you look over to see mason still sleeping peacefully in the expensive white sheets along with the the most beautiful view of dubai right outside the hotel window… his chest on full show and him breathing softly so you cuddle up to him and slowly trace your fingers over his face while whispering his name to tell him to wake up but all he does is pull you even closer to his body, naked chests touching bc the two of you only managed to put some underwear to sleep in after a looong night filled with lots of sex, burrying his head into your neck while groaning and saying something about sleeping for a little longer 🥺 so you’d cuddle him for a few more minutes with his hands running up and down your back and your head on his chest before escaping his grabby hands and getting up to shower and get ready for the day 🥺

so after you finished up in the bathroom you walk out in just a towel and see him propped up with his back leaning against the headboard, his hair a mess and his face looking all sleepy with his eyes fixated on you as if you’re the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen which makes you blush and tell him to get into the shower so you’re not late to your plans with the others. so while he’s in the bathroom you get dressed into some clothes that the two of you went shopping for yesterday, mason having insisted on getting them for you which you obviously declined at first but he made sure to tell you that he just wants to treat you to it bc you’ve been so busy with work. so as he walks out of the bathroom in just his boxers he gets dressed in black pants and black shirt, looking as sexy as he always does he comes up to you, resting his head on your shoulder while putting his hands on your hips, softly playing with the hem of your new shirt asking something like “oh is this new, baby?” which makes you rest your head back against his shoulder humming in confirmation so him being his cheeky self puts his hands underneath your shirt, slowly running up your stomach to your boobs… fingers playing with the lace of your new lingerie asking “this too?” while pressing kisses against your neck 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️but you pull his hands away, telling him “no funny business, mount. we’ve got breakfast to go to” knowing full well that if he goes any further you won’t leave the hotel room at all today. so you grab your purse and head for the door, knowing he’s right behind you bc all he had left to do was grab his phone and wallet. and then when you’re both in the lift going down to the lobby he would lean against the wall and pull you into his chest, making you rest your head against it bc he knows you’re sleepy from a long night and he’d just hold you like this the whole way down, occasionally (the word hehe) kissing your head 🥺

and when you’re down at the lobby you meet rashy, benny, luke and their girlfriends and go for breakfast which would be so nice bc you really like their comapny and you love watching mason interact with his friends and you love how even when he talks to them he still shows that you’re all he really pays attention to with his hand on your thigh, his thumb running up and down in a soothing motion 🥺 and then after breakfast you’d walk to maybe some mini golf place with mason holding your hand the whole way there, talking with you and the others about anything and everything 🥺 then during mini golf he’d be his usual competitive self, being all pouty when you manage to get the ball in with less tries than him and pretending to me mad at you, when you know half of it is jokes and half of it is him actually being annoyed bc he’s not the best at something for once but you’d later wrap your arms around his waist as you’re all waiting for the winner to be announced to tell him to stop being a pouty baby which he’d acknowledge by kissing you softly 🥺 then later in the day after walking around dubai for a little longer you’d all go to dinner and a fancy bar afterwards with both you and mase drinking a few drinks which would lead to both of you being tipsy and turning into touchy messes, with his arm around you, taking any chance between conversations to kiss you and whisper sweet nothings into your ear and your hand on his thighs with your body leaning into his… both of you knowing that as soon as you two go back to the hotel you’ll spend another night having lots and lots of sex

[possum-quesadilla]

Chapter two of Lonely Remnants, “I wish I'd find all the lonely remnants, Of you that left when your head cracked open”, is here! Short but wild. Surprisingly, no trigger warnings this time!

Here are the extras!

- The lyrics for this chapter’s title are from “Coma Baby” by Nicole Dollanganger, and is also the origin of the fic’s title! I won’t go in depth as to how this song relates to the story, as that would be spoilers!

- “Painstakingly, she babysat the demon as it rinsed off the worst of what was left, then she used a pile of different washcloths and hand towels to wipe when she could off his face.” - If I had a nickel for every time a scene like this happened in my Beetlejuice fics, I’d have at least two.

- “My real physical form before I took this body was a bucket full of black goo. I could show ya, but I’d have to be qui-” - It was going to say it would have to be quick, because it wouldn’t have much time to return to the body.

- “It certainly hated the noise and the heat, growling and reminding her over and over that it needed to stay cool. She just rolled her eyes and kept doing her best to get the rotten little beast dry.” - IF I HAD A NICKEL-

- “A photo taken mid-snowball fight, Lawrence with an impish grin as he wound up to throw a rather large ball of snow at an unsuspecting Lydia. Lawrence, apparently having not grown up with snowy winters, sat bundled up in blankets on the couch, a cup of hot cocoa in hand. He was red-faced and obviously still freezing, but he was still smiling so brightly as Adam leaned down to kiss the top of his snowflake-covered head.” - Lawrence got absolutely decimated by Lydia for sneaking up on her like that. His ass got pelted with so many snowballs that Emily, Barbara, and Adam had to drag him inside so his southern-born ass wouldn’t get frostbite.

- “(Lydia’s passion for the arts seemed to have died with her mother, she thought. Just the idea of picking up a camera now made her sick to her stomach.)” - GUYS DON’T WORRY SHE WILL REGAIN HER PASSION FOR PHOTOGRAPHY!!!

- “ “That’s me and my dad, Charles. He used to take you golfing every summer to bond with you, but you sucked at it.” The Shoggoth gave her a funny sort of look as she continued.” - It was not prepared for her to refer to it as Lawrence.

- “ “Emily…” the Shoggoth echoed, some strange pained look flickering through it’s eyes.” - Hmm. Interesting!

- “There was a pair of photos of a family escape room trip. All of them, photographed by the employees, standing with bright grins and excited thumbs up. Then, in the same setting, with all of them staring angrily at an anxiously grimacing Lawrence, who held a sign that read “We did not escape”.” - It was Lawrence’s fault they did not escape.

- “Clusters of photos of nature, of them all in camping gear, of Charles teaching Lawrence, Adam, and Lydia how to fish. Lawrence diving in to the lake and then coming back up with a large bass in his hands, to the slack-jawed Charles’ astonishment, and cheers from Lydia.” - A little bit of foreshadowing to Lawrence’s country roots! My boy used to wade through the Everglades barefoot and grab pythons and such without batting an eye.

- “Lawrence hunched over a campfire, arms outstretched and face twisted and shadowed in a ghoulish grin as he recounted some ghastly horror story that seemed to especially petrify his partners.” - He has always been very talented at scaring people :)

- “Pridefest in a nearby town, Lawrence having Lydia sat on his shoulders as she flew a transgender flag high and proud for him. Adam, Barbara, and Emily smiling and flocking to their sides, touting their own flags. (Charles had taken the picture, it was amateurish and shaky.)” - Lydia is mad, hence why the narration/she is calling him ‘amateurish’ and not mentioning him as much. Also, ha ha, Charles is the only cishet one! Loser /lh

- “Fourth of July, where Charles, Adam, and Barbara followed Lawrence extremely closely each year, but somehow still never caught him before he could set off the disastrous “Fat Dragon” fountain firework that was captured in a bright, blurry photo of all of them running and screaming from it after it had tipped over and shot in their direction.” - Based on true events from my own life. Also “Fat Dragon” is a reference to “The Babysitter”, a movie I have a love-hate relationship with.

- “He looked… very different. It was almost startling. His face was clean-shaven, his cheeks were sunken, his hair was long and unmanaged. His features were almost… softer. Certainly younger. Very different from the bold, loud, scruffy thirty-something she knew.” - It’s because he went on testosterone after this!

- “He wore tattered clothes and had fake blood smeared all over his face. A zombie. How ironic. She held up the photo, eliciting a strange, grating chuckle from the Shoggoth.” - The Shoggoth also sees the irony. It finds it very funny.

- “Lydia pushed the album aside to ensure a sudden deluge of tears didn’t ruin it’s pages. The Shoggoth flinched, brows furrowed in a sort of pained expression. “… y-… you alright, kiddo?” ” - Oh? What’s this? The freaky creature already showing signs of caring??

- “Lydia raised an eyebrow and tilted her head hard to one side. She could swear she saw Barbara flinch at the movement, but the pained expression was gone in a moment.” - That particular gesture reminded Barbara of Lawrence.

- “ “… is that why they never came to…. Visit?” She got the implication in an instant, it seemed, as Barbara solemnly nodded her head.” - By “visit” she means come pay for a gravesite.

- “It isn’t our story to tell, sweetheart. Especially not..” - She was going to say ‘while you’re so young’, as they had an agreement with Lawrence to have him tell Lydia what happened before he came to their town when she was older.

- “ “Oh my god, that explains the weird accent!” Her second mom nodded fervently, leaving the rag where it was as she went to make her way around the counter to Lydia. “He tried his best to hide it, but it always slipped out!” She lowered her voice in her best approximation of her brother’s own cadence as she mockingly drawled out, “now, pardon me, ma’am, but I do believe he did a right shit job of hidin’ it!” ” - Partially based on my own experience of being clocked immediately for my own stupid yeehaw accent, although mine is not from Louisiana. Lawrence hid it very well, but it came out on certain words like ‘pardon’, and he let it slip more in front of his loved ones.

- “All the while the Shoggoth hissed and shied away, but Barbara pursued it and demanded it get out of their home as she continued to hit it.” - Hehe, she wants it to leave but she’s not letting it leave

- “Lydia called, surging forward and going to grip the woman’s arm, but she was stoped by Adam suddenly returning to his senses and lifting her up under her armpits and trying to carry her away.” - Adam dad reflexes!!!

[fair-itself]

My mom got a swimming pool last year and spent all day every day in it. When she had to close it for the year in October (we live in Kentucky and the planet is melting), she got like, genuinely depressed for a bit because she'd been having such a great time. I thought it would be kind of cute and funny to make her a little swimming pool to look at while she waited for warm weather. Originally, I was shooting for Christmas, but it turns out tiny pool furniture takes a long time to ship, so it was just ready for her birthday on January 23rd.

She absolutely loved it! I knew she'd appreciate it because she just likes anything homemade, but she pointed out all the little details like the tiny Diet Coke can I made out of a toothpick and their cat Eddie the Lifeguard sleeping on a towel.

And so I've become completely obsessed with miniatures and dioramas. I joined subreddits. I'm following a dozen crafters on youtube. I've scoured all my local art supply stores for supplies. Next, I'm making a golf course scene with my stepdad and his dog. I already have xps foam and a backdrop stand coming in the mail.

I'm gonna waste so much money on this, but at least I'm having a good time!

[fartquen12]

Father Bear from The Berenstein Bears

Gn reader

Go to town I don't have any ideas

YESS I LOVE THIS IDEA SM <33

IM BACK BITCHES

THE BEARENSTEIN- DOOKIES

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Dookie, No mini kyles allowed, no mini ravis allowed, toilets, segsy time, lots of poop.

You said you never liked parties... but here you were sitting on a couch with intoxicated people everywhere. You decided to get up and walk around. You saw a tray with takis so you took a huge handful and golfed it down. Thats when the finest man walked up to you. Father bear.

"Hey Y/n" He said winking

"Hi... HI...."

"What are you doing this weekend?"

"N-nothing."

"Wanna go out?"

"sure.."

"Ok bet see you at the calico bar at 3 am." he winked again

He walked away and you ran your ass to the bathroom. Shoving multiple drunks out of the bathroom you ran in and took a fat shit everywhere. Your dookie was flying out of your hairy cheeks so much you shat and went almost went flying. You didnt because you grabbed onto the toilet seat for dear life.

*Next day at 3 am*

You arrived at the bar and sat down quietly. You looked around when you saw father bear come and sit down at the table.

"Hey sorry i was late had to tuck my kids in and pretend to sleep with my wife."

"um okay." You said not knowing he was married.

The waiter came by and took your orders then left.

"So what do you do for work?" you said

"Im a plumber" He said

"oh,thats nice."

"what about you?"

"Oh me.. I work in an old peoples home and wipe their stinky butts." You began laughing

"umm. thats not really funny." He said.

"Im not joking.."

Okay."

The rest of teh night was pretty awkward. An occasional question would pop up but nothing really.

The date was over and ass you walked over to your car papa bear threw a towel with sleeping gas over your nose and you passed out. When you woke up you saw papa bear hovering over you while humping

"AHH WTF!!" You yell and began shitting your pants

"SHH BBG" he yells

you began beating this litttle fuckers ass and whooping it nice and hard

"HAALLP!" He yelled

"Daddy?" You heard a small voice cay coming down the stairs.

"Shit.. SIster bear go back to bed daddy is just- JUSt go back to bed."

"RAPPEEEE!" Yoy yelled

"OH HELL NAH!" Sister bear yelled kicking her dad in the nuts so hard he went flying. The wife showed up and tried to whopp your ass

"DONT PLAY WITH ME!" You yelled garbbing a fist full of her hair and swinging her around

"YOU WANNA FIGHT HO!" Yo yelled

"NOOO!" SHe yelles

you let go of her hair and said

"THAS WHAT I THOUGHT HOMIE!" you got in your car and drove off into the sunset blasting "Never gonna give you up" And you twerked.

THE END

[helperduck]

Magic Item Masterlist

Writing a demigod character for a PJO RP? Do they have a signature weapon that turns into something else? Stuck on what it should be? Below is a list of 100+ small items that would be perfect to disguise a weapon as. Some of these are meant to be funny and are great to have your character fret over (They got a cool sword that turns into a ring and I got stuck with a knife that turns into a SPAGHETTI NOODLE. How am I supposed to keep that in my pocket?) Apple Ball (Golf, Football, Ping-Pong, etc) Bandana Barbie Barrette Baseball Mitt Beanbag Bell Belt Bib Binder Clip Board Game Piece Bookmark Bottlecap Bow (Hairbow or bowtie) Box of Matches Box of Raisins Burrito Button Candle CD (and/or Case) Chapstick Chess Piece Clothespin Coin Comb Cotton Ball Counting Bears Cowboy Hat Credit Card Dice Domino Doorknob Drink Coaster Dustpan Earbuds Egg cup Eraser Fake Flower Flashlight Flip Phone (non-functional) Fridge Magnet Gift Card Glasses/Sunglasses Golf Club Gumball Hair Tie Hand Sanitizer Handkerchief Hardware (Nail, screw, hinge, etc.) Hat Headband Jacob’s Ladder Toy Jar of Peanut Butter Jewelry (Bracelet [charm bracelet], necklace, rings, earrings) Ketchup Packet Key Keychain (tie it in to their weapon/godly parent/abilities) Lanyard Leaf Library Card Macaroni Magnifying Glass Mask Mittens Musical Instrument Napkin Newspaper Notebook Oven Mitt Oyster Paperclip Pearl Pen, Pencil, Marker, Colored Pencil, etc. Pin or Brooch Pinecone Pinwheel Plastic Animals Plastic Succulent Pocket Pack of Tissues Pom-Pom Potato Puzzle Piece Q-Tip Rock or Gemstone Rubber Chicken Rubber Duck Rubik’s Cube Scarf Scissors Sewing Kit Shoe Slinky Snow Globe Soap Sock Spaghetti Noodle Spoon Squish Toy Stapler Stress Ball Stuffed Animal Tea Bag Tie Thimble Thumbtack Timer Toilet Paper Roll Toolbelt Toothbrush Towel Valentine Wallet Washcloth/Rag Watch (wrist or pocket) Water Bottle Whistle Wii Remote Wooden Shape Worm on a String

If you’re looking for something a bit more unique, trying something that isn’t usually small... like a miniature version of larger items. Try looking up “tiny things that actually work” on Amazon or Google. Examples: Baking Items (Colander, Rolling pin, etc.) Blender Game Console Lava Lamp Leaf blower Microphone Vacuum

[readygolfs]

Embrace Style and Comfort with Funny Golf Outfits for Women

When it comes to golf, there's no reason your wardrobe can’t be as fun as the game itself. Funny golf outfits for women are a fantastic way to show off your personality while maintaining comfort and performance on the course.

From quirky designs to playful patterns, fun women’s golf clothes are all about combining fashion and function for the modern lady golfer. Whether you're hitting the greens with friends or competing in a tournament, there are endless options to express your unique sense of style. Here's how you can incorporate fun golf outfits for ladies into your game without sacrificing comfort.

1. Colorful Patterns for a Bold Statement

Why settle for boring when you can wear bright, bold colors and fun patterns? Funny golf outfits for women are perfect for those who love to stand out. Vibrant hues like neon greens, pinks, and oranges are trending, as are playful designs such as polka dots, stripes, and floral prints. These patterns bring an element of fun and energy to your game, helping you feel confident and stylish while you swing.

Pairing a brightly colored top with coordinating bottoms or a patterned skirt is a great way to mix fun with functionality. The key is to keep the outfit balanced—too many bold patterns can overwhelm your look. A single standout piece with neutral accents can make all the difference.

2. Comfort Meets Humor

Who says fun women’s golf clothes can’t be comfortable? Choose materials that are breathable, moisture-wicking, and flexible. Whether you prefer a stretchy skort or a loose, flowing dress, comfort is just as important as the style. Many golf brands now offer performance fabrics that allow for maximum movement, ensuring you’re not only looking good but also playing your best.

Adding humorous elements to your outfit, such as socks with quirky prints or a cap with a funny slogan, can also enhance your look. A witty tee that reads, "This is my tee time" or a cap that says "Fore!" adds a touch of personality while staying golf-appropriate.

3. Accessories That Pop

Accessories are a fun way to elevate your golf outfit without going overboard. Choose fun accessories like patterned visors, colorful golf gloves, or even funky golf shoes. These pieces of flair allow you to express your personal style in a way that’s both playful and functional. A fun, themed golf bag or towel can also add a little humor to your setup.

If you're attending a golf event with friends, consider coordinating your outfits. You could all wear matching fun golf outfits for ladies, complete with custom embroidery or fun sayings on your apparel, creating a cohesive look that stands out while still looking polished.

Conclusion: Make Your Next Round of Golf a Stylish One

Looking great on the golf course should never feel like a chore. With fun golf outfits for ladies, you can mix comfort, performance, and personality into one stylish look. Whether you prefer a bold print, humorous accessories, or a mix of both, there's something for every woman who loves to golf with flair. For the ultimate in stylish and functional golf attire, be sure to check out ReadyGOLF. With their wide range of options, you’ll find the perfect combination of fun and fashion for your next round.

[noisycowboyglitter]

Any Hole Is My Goal: Embrace American Spirit with Funny Golf Gear

The phrase "Any Hole Is My Goal – Patriotic – America" combines humor, golf terminology, and patriotic sentiment in a way that may appeal to a certain audience, though it's important to note that some might find it crude or offensive.

Buy now:19.95$

This slogan likely appears on novelty items aimed at golfers who enjoy edgy humor and want to display their patriotism. It plays on the double entendre of "hole," referring both to golf holes and to a crude sexual innuendo. The patriotic aspect suggests it's meant to be a lighthearted celebration of American values like freedom of expression, including the freedom to make risqué jokes.

Such items might feature red, white, and blue color schemes, along with golf-related imagery like tees, clubs, or balls. The American flag or other national symbols could be incorporated into the design to emphasize the patriotic angle.

Buy now

These products could include t-shirts, hats, golf towels, or novelty golf balls. They're likely marketed towards adults who appreciate bold humor and don't mind pushing boundaries with their apparel or accessories on the golf course.

It's worth noting that this type of humor isn't universally appreciated. While some may find it amusing, others might view it as inappropriate or disrespectful, especially in the context of patriotic themes.

Buy now

This phrase encapsulates a particular brand of American humor that blends national pride with audacious wordplay, appealing to those who enjoy mixing their patriotism with a dash of irreverence.

The Beer Pong Tank Top is the ultimate apparel for party enthusiasts and competitive players alike. Made from high-quality, breathable fabric, this tank top ensures comfort during those intense games and lively gatherings. Featuring bold graphics and catchy slogans, it showcases your love for the classic drinking game while making a stylish statement. Perfect for summer barbecues, beach trips, or college parties, this tank top is designed for both men and women,

Buy now

providing a relaxed fit that allows for easy movement. Whether you're practicing your aim or celebrating a victory with friends, the Beer Pong Tank Top is a must-have addition to your wardrobe. Get ready to serve up some fun and show off your playful side with this eye-catching piece that captures the spirit of camaraderie and competition. Cheers to good times and great memories!

[grannyandgrandpascreations]

Let's Sink 'Em and Drink 'Em Golf Towel and Thermal Sock

Let’s Sink ‘Em and Drink ‘Em designed Golf Towel with Corner Grommet and Thermal Socks. Funny, humorous and unique gift for any Golfer!

Our Golf Towels make great gifts for that Golfer in your life. Golfers use dry towels for absorbing moisture and drying objects such as their golf balls, clubs, and hands. Our Golf Towels serves as a way to remove the swear from hands and face before taking a shot, and also to wipe down the grip of the blub.

Hunter Green 100% Cotton, sheared velour terry. Dobby border hem. Corner grommet. Hook included. 16x26

Care instructions: Machine wash cold, no bleach, no softener. Do not dry clean. Do not iron. Tumble dry low.

Thermal socks are specifically designed to protect your feet during the coldest time of year.

Shoe size 6-12. Material is cotton, polyester and spandex. The Material breakdown is 50% Cotton, 49% Polyester and 1% Spandex. The width is 4 inches and the height is 22.125 inches.

Perfect for outdoor sports, going to the office, and curling up on the couch in the winter months.

Machine wash cold with like colors. Use ONLY non-chlorine bleach when needed, tumble dry low, do NOT iron.

Let’s Sink ‘Em and Drink ‘Em Golf Towel

Our Golf Towels make great gifts for that Golfer in your life. Golfers use dry towels for absorbing moisture and drying objects such as their golf balls, clubs, and hands. Our Golf Towels serves as a way to remove the swear from hands and face before taking a shot, and also to wipe down the grip of the blub.

Hunter Green 100% Cotton, sheared velour terry. Dobby border hem. Corner grommet. Hook included. 16x26

Care instructions: Machine wash cold, no bleach, no softener. Do not dry clean. Do not iron. Tumble dry low.

Thermal socks are specifically designed to protect your feet during the coldest time of year.

Shoe size 6-12. Material is cotton, polyester and spandex. The Material breakdown is 50% Cotton, 49% Polyester and 1% Spandex. The width is 4 inches and the height is 22.125 inches.

Perfect for outdoor sports, going to the office, and curling up on the couch in the winter months.

Machine wash cold with like colors. Use ONLY non-chlorine bleach when needed, tumble dry low, do NOT iron.

[hyliasblade]

thejestertwins

Liiiiink

I wonder how this magic works because I would use it to give you a proper night's sleep for a week.

The only body of water we have is in Monty's golf course and that's cold. The amount of times security has come into the daycare hoping for blankets and towels after the faulty barriers let them fall in is both funny and absurd.

We also have the chemical showers but those are also cold.

Don't worry I Sleep enough

Oh cold water Isn't fun Have you tried putting a Fire under the tub

@hyliasblade

for a moment I thought you were another one of those bots! The lack of numbers saved you. Hi friend!

[jimmydemaret]

WinCraft Duke Blue Devils Face Club Jacquard Towel with Small Carabiner Clip, 16 x 24 inches

WinCraft Duke Blue Devils Face Club Jacquard Towel with Small Carabiner Clip, 16 x 24 inches

Check out Golf Towel 16×24. WinCraft Duke Blue Devils Face Club Jacquard Towel with Small Carabiner Clip, 16 x 24 inches.

Golf Towel 16×24 – Today’s Promo Price [price_with_discount]

Pick your Colours Golf Towel 16×24, WinCraft Duke Blue Devils Face Club Jacquard Towel with Small Carabiner Clip, 16 x 24 inches.

USD$24.88

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WinCraft Duke Blue Devils Face Club Jacquard Towel with Small…

[vampzzi]

can you pleaseee write emma mountebank x female reader, as a lesbian i never see my quarry girls get enough love 😭

REALIST RISK ﹒ ☆ Emma x Female reader.

cw; anon did not say if they wanted the story, to be smut,angst,fluff so by default story is an angsty story for jacob but suggestive and romantic for emma and reader, heated kissing and thats it, not beta-read I'm tired, reader is 19-21 (take your pick)

author's note ; As a lesbian I agree, there's not enough for these gals as I have a love / hate relationship with Emma but she's so hot it's just ughhh. So, I decided to write a fic about Emma leaving Jacob for reader because Lesbian Emma 4 the win!!

<3; 2.1K words

You were in the golf cart, the sun shined bright in the sky – headphones in your both ears as you rode through the rocky dirt path while your favorite song blasted in your ears, driving around the area lost in your thoughts. You had been a camp counselor for 2 years now and you were well found with Chris Hackett and Ryan and Jacob. You had nothing against Jacob, sweet guy..sweet…insecure guy. He was super possessive around Emma even around women, he felt as if anyone could take Emma away from him and all this insecurity and shit is what drove her off. Well not entirely, they’re still together and it angers you. 

You loved Emma first, you’d been friends with her in middle school for fucks sake! Her platform shoes clicked against the marble floor as her hair was down with a pretty hair clip, earthy colors and a pretty design attached to it. She had come over to you while you were sitting in the corner on your school chromebook playing some kind of game as she sat next to you and smiled “why are you sitting alone? She’d twirl in circles and do some pretty cool tricks but back to her question she’d ask you, the kids at this school were weirdos, like they made you uncomfy so you sat it out by being a loner.

You two talked from that point on as the school year went by, you sat at lunch together, walked to class together. Hung out after school, sneaking out of your house and running to her house in the cold rain as she laughed at you as you fell onto her floor with a wet plop “Aaaa! It’s a wet monster in my room” she’d fake yell out and chuckle as you’d grumble and laugh – she’d help you get up and get you a towel and wrap it around your body as you’d both exchange jokes about the situation. 

Her voice ringed through your head as her hands were on top of yours “You know.. We’ve been friends for a while and I want you to add this to your collection, to remember me when yk I’m worldstar famous streamer!” you chuckled at her and looked down at the same clip you’d seen her the first time you met her. You sighed out as you almost crashed, making a quick turn and thinking it’s best to go back to longue with the others. 

Jacob,jacob,jacob. You’d met him the first year of highschool posing as the cool kid with inhuman strength and funny humor, you’d crack at a few of his jokes as you saw him through the hall arm wrapped around Emma, this caused you two to be distant when he came into the picture they did a lot of things we use to do. It felt out of place almost like being played like a violin, my heart strings being played as it responded with awful tunes. You’d been supporting her from the start, helping her build her channel up the first video on her channel “emmanation” had 22K views and she couldn't thank you enough from that blast of a start. You loved Emma, you just wished things played out differently. It seems like she’d show no interest in women as everytime you mentioned her dating a girl, she’d respond no and giggle about it.

I can say my proper breakdown and I’m not afraid to share it is when you came to the prom before the summer as a third wheel and you had to the bathroom, to fix up your hair and give your mind some words of encouragement as you were drowning in your insecurity, anger and guilt. As you left to return to the booth you could scream, you should have. As Jacob’s lips were on Emma’s soft plump lips, their bodys shuffling back and forth, this was the beginning of their “summer fling” as you wanted to stomp off and cry. You didn't deserve this and you and everyone else knew it, as you fumed about it for days before she sent you a text “We should hang out at Summer camp, miss seeing your energy x” you smiled at the text as you put your phone down and started packing 2 weeks early before it was even time to go. 

But as time went on summer was over with, you’d waste all that time watching them being lovey dovey that you didnt even attempt to get with Emma, how stupid. Your bags were the first into the car as you were forgetful and didnt wanna go on a golf cart ride and forget them while riding, Mr.Hackett seemed pissed off as he slammed the hood of the car down and screamed “We can just stay here one more night until the morning.” 

Jacob suggested and Hackett growled “No!” grabbing his keys and grumbling a bunch of instructions to Ryan – Ryan responding with a quick “Yes sir” as Hackett smiled got into the car and said “be good, and keep the noise down for fuck sakes!” as he drove off until he couldn’t be seen. Jacob suggested a Party while everyone was in it but Ryan as he wanted to follow the rules and you wanted to understand the dude, Chris seemed shaken up and you guys could be in danger and they wanted to party? To hell with that.

Jacob gives Emma the instruction to sit still and be gorgeous and she rolls her eyes and laughs as your blood boils. He wants Emma to join him on his mission and she kindly declines as she says she needs the women's room and he dismisses her.

 You sneak off to see where she’s going as she goes to the doc and where the water moves back and forth, she sits on the dock and breaths slowly as you sit next to her and she looks up at you with a bright smile “Hey (name!!)” “Hey Emma, what’s up?” She tilts her head back and thinks “the usual, jacob. He won’t let me go, it was a summer fling. it's over now.” You listen to her rant about him as you let your feet dip into the cool water while she talks. “I just you know don’t want this energy on my shoulders, I wanna be able to carry my positive attitude around to everyone” “I understand you Emma.” 

She smiles and wraps her arms around you as you hug her back, she feels warm – nice to hug as you didn’t even notice you’d lay your head on your chest as you brought it up to her face and apologized “sorry, got in the moment’ she let out a small “it's alright” as you two looked at each other deep in the eyes, the moment felt way too serious, too into depth – too real.

Her lips laid on yours as you finally realized what was going on. You kissed her back as you two fought in the kiss as Emma slid her tongue into your mouth, swirling it around as you let her dominate your mouth holding onto her hips with a firm squeeze before pulling away. “I - I thought you weren’t into girls?” staying so quickly it’s slurred together as Emma runs her fingers over your lips. 

“That was in our Freshman year of Highschool Name, it’s different now.” You only nodded and planted another kiss to her lips as she accepted the kiss and kissed you back but loud footsteps interrupted the kiss as Jacob went down the stairs with a loud shout “WHAT THE FUCK DUDE?! Are you serious?” The rest of your friends came to see about the loud noises and you looked back at them, puffy lips, struggling to breath as it was enough evidence to see what had happened. 

 “That’s my fucking girlfriend you’re tonguing (name.)” “Jacob, I’m not your girlfriend, I belong to nobody — it was a summer fling that you need to get over” emma snapped at him as he looked breathless, tears running down his cheeks as he ran up the stairs past Dylan, shoving Nicks shoulder in the process and pushing him into Abi and she almost falls and he catches her “Sorry about that”. 

“It’s fine Nick” Abi regains her footing and looks at the both of you guys “Sooo, whats going on here” Ryan cuts off Abi before she can speak. “Whatever your imagination can come up with is what happens” Emma says with a smile as she looks back at you as you’re incredibly embarrassed “i - it just kinda happened, y’know?”  “Guess I can understand” Ryan said with a sly sink, oh how you wanted to slap the smirk off his face but you’d rather not. From that point on Jacob started being different around you, he was meaner, snickering at you and saying sly stuff under his breath until the sun and moon decided to switch places.

The fire roared bright and warm as the cool air chilled your skin – taking small sips from your drink as the members asked each other simple truth or dare questions, watching Ryan and Dylan kiss as you clapped them on and Dylan’s face was bright and warm. The game pretty much went to shit when it was Kaityln’s turn and Kat chose Emma and asked the truth or dare question and she immediately answered dare as Kaityln straightened her posture “Kiss me or Kiss (Name)” She said bluntly as her eyes shifted between her and you “This one’s super easy, I chose (name).” 

Jacob looked widen eyed in shock and horror at what his ears deceived him, he watched in silence as Emma made her way over to you – towering over you as her lips took yours for the second time that day, the kiss was long and eager as your eyes were widen and Jacob yelled for Emma to stop as she pulled away and sat down, you placed a hand over your lips. As Jacob knew he couldn't swing at a woman it’s unprofessional, not manly. But was crying over a girl who said it was over multiple times manly? He ended up running off again into the woods as Dylan said he’d go look for him and cheer him up.

“I hope this doesn't make me a bitch” and everyone looks at you even Emma, Kaityln responds “it doesn’t make you bitch, Jacob just needs to let go and move on. Emma’s not interested anymore and that's final” Everyone could agree on that and the game felt dead and odd without Dylan or Jacob so everyone called it a night and went back to the lounge, everyone sat down and talked about plans for tomorrow, discussing food, showering and cell phone life and everyone had a job to be done. The small meeting was dismissed and You and Emma were on cell phone duty and figuring out how to charge the phones as Dylan was taken off the job because he was too distracted on his phone that he ran it dead.

You were fine with it and the meeting was dismissed as you and Emma got up and Dylan raised an eyebrow “Where are you two going? Sneaking off to start a forest fire?” “No Dylan, we’re gonna sleep somewhere else for the night because I snore weird and I don’t need anyone hearing that” that was a straight light everyone fell for except Ryan and Kaityln as Ryan added on “But you’ve slept in my room and you never snored.” “It’s been colder lately Ryan, you know how my allergies are.” Now, that one was true. “Ah, you’re right. Goodnight then.” He put his headphones in and laid down snuggling to the blankets as you and Emma waved and wished everyone goodnight. You both quietly made your way through the halls searching through the closets and drawers to find a blanket and two pillows making a nice comfortable place to sleep far from them.

As you laid the covers and comforter down and tossed the pillows down, Emma took off her shirt and you side eyed her before looking away “What are you doing?!” “Getting comfortable” Yeah. Comfortable. Emma’s and your lips on each other again except this time, you were alone and comfortable. Back against the comforter and head on the pillow as Emma was on top of you – using your hands to plant your hands on her hips and draw patterns on them while she kissed you, she was shirtless this time, everything was a lot more intimate but you two decided to not go as far today. Maybe tomorrow when everyone would be out doing things like getting firewood,getting their bags back out the car and ect.

 Then you two would take it up a few more levels, until then just kissing and small neck kisses which she planted some kisses to your collarbone and neck, running her finger down your neck as she whispered “I love you” into your ear. Yep, Emma Mountebank was the one. The one you absolutely needed.

[dreamcatcherrs]

Hey! I just had a random idea I think would work good; a first date preference seems really cool :) (I hope you haven't done this already and I've just missed it) I love your writing <3

+ it seems very very cool indeed :)) hope you like it! <3

++ if you squint, a couple of nsfw references

first dates; mcyt x reader

dream:

restaurant

when it’s your first date, he won't go all out with a very fancy place

but generally likes spoiling you

a lot

but he’ll save that for later

as long as you feel comfortable, he’s happy

maybe you’d go to his place afterwards👀

to play video games of course🙄

he’s not shy at all on your frst date

and is pretty confident in himself that the date’s gonna go great

smooth pick-up lines

maybe a couple of touches here and there

compliments you the whole night

and really just wants a laugh with you

overall, he’s great at first dates

georgenotfound:

ice skating, his place

he likes for a first date to be pretty simple

just chilling

enjoying each other’s company like you usually would

but with some romantic undertones of course ;)

so going to an ice rink or hanging out at his place;

it would be perfect

I feel like george is definitely more nervous on a first date

just because the whole “first date” concept is very intimidating in his head

even though it isn't a lot different from when you hang out usually

… it’s just with a bit more feelings involved

he’d probably ask dream for advice before going on the date with you

he eases up once he gets comfortable with your presence

realising that it’s just you and he can always be comfortable with you :)

cute first date

sapnap:

concert

nick would definitely want to go to a concert with you

I’m sure anyone can vibe with his music taste

and even then, I don't think he cares which concert you go to

the experience is what matters to him

he’d slip in some pickup-lines every now and then

but his cheeks would be so red after every line he spoke

the whole night he just wants to kiss you

but resists, just because he is a little scared of rejection

puts his jacket around your shoulders when it gets colder

and maybe wraps an arm around your waist

as you just vibe to the songs

would kiss you when he walked you home if the date was good

and then text you the second he left

very nice first date

badboyhalo:

park

would bring rat along :D

you’d find a bench or similar to rest by after walking around for a while

and just sit there together

and eat some fresh foods you’d made before going there

and just chat for hours on end

playing around with rat every now and then

and also trying out the swing set nearby

where you’d push each other

you wouldn't have noticed how much time had passed before you both realised it was super dark

it’s a really comfortable and fun date

cause he’s just so easy to talk to

he’d definitely go for some hand-holding

and aim for a little peck on the cheek

technoblade:

escape room

this would literally be the perfect opportunity to get to know each other

and to see if you were worthy of the blood god

you’d help each other find the clues

he’d definitely tease you if he managed to find the key before you did

but then would gently pat your head

cause he couldn’t deny how cute you looked when you were all pouty

a great date

with lots and lots of fun

he’s very nervous to start off with

but manages to hide it behind his monotone voice

though he likes teasing you, he’s also very sweet

sometimes let’s you find the clues “first” even though he’d already spotted them

just to see the smile on your face

wilbur soot:

museum, café

of course wilbur would take you to one of these places

or even both

the museum first, then the café

why not get a learning experience out of the date?

and then get to know each other afterwards

on a more romantic level than usual

he would be really smooth with his movements

even if he was nervous

sneakily puts a hand on your waist

or goes to grab your hand

with no hesitation or shakiness

he’d sooo be the type to say “you’ve got something right here” pointing to your lip

and when you’d searched for the whipped cream on your lip to no avail, he’d lean over and wipe the non-existing cream away

very slowly

and then have a smirk on his face when he pulled away again

honestly, a big tease even for a first date

corpse husband:

dinner and movie

pretty classy, but very nice

he’d want a first date to not be too much

but still be enough to impress

he’d be pretty anxious of what you thought of him tbh

but those were mostly just the nerves talking

would spend a long time putting effort into making the dinner

after asking you what your favourite dish was

you’d eat it together, a candle lit in the middle of the table with some wine (all on my white tee)

and you’d just start up a conversation very naturally

getting to know each other on another level

and when you’d get to watching the movie, he’d definitely attempt to get closer to you

like by throwing an arm around your shoulders

pulling you closer to him

maybe a hand on your thigh

and a small make-out session

a very successful date to say the least

skeppy:

theme park

would want to do something really fun for a first date

so I feel like a theme park would be perfect for that

like, you’d just spend the whole say together

having the time of your life in the craziest rides

or the more chill ones

whatever you like

and in between you’d just take a break

and buy some waffles or churros to eat together

zak is veeery talkative

like, there would not be any worry about awkward silences

cause he would always have something to talk about with you

as for affection

he would probably go for holding your hand

and that’s probably his farthest goal for the day

he likes taking things slow

and just having a fun time with you

karl jacobs:

arcade

like skeppy, he would also wanna go someplace fun

yet not as crazy you know?

like, just hanging out and playing a range of different games with you

you bet he’d just be like “oh, I just wanna get this one prize.”

and when he finally won it, he’d hand it over to you

because he’d planned to give it to you from the start :]

he’s mostly just himself on your first date

giggly, cute, funny

he’s a little more nervous around you than ususal

but that's only natural

would leave a lot of affection on you

like, a supporting hand on your back when you're trying to win at a game

or hugging you tightly whenever either of you won

really just finds any excuse to give you affection

maybe you’ll end off the day with a little smooch😙

or spending the rest of the night playing video games at his or your place

fundy:

sight-seeing

he’d take you to so many buildings, statues, viewpoints etc.

he wants to explore the city with you

even if you both know it very well already

he’d want the memories of the sights to be with you

you’d take cute pre-couple photos by the sights

and grab some delicious lunch while sat right by one of the nicest sights

he’d be subtle with showing affection

like grabbing your hand when you’re about to go the wrong way

and then not let go of it for a while

or he’d let you borrow his sunglasses

to block out the sun in your face

he wouldn't lay heavy on showing affection on the first date

he’ll leave that for the second one ;)

quackity:

cooking together

chaotic but cute combo

I feel like he would really want to impress you

yet still be able to make you laugh

and this is just the perfect way to do just that

he’s surprisingly good at cooking when he tries

and remains his usual quackity alex funny self

he’d show you how to do different stuff

especially if you didn't know how to already

and would overall be very playful with you

throwing flour at you, splashing with water etc.

and then afterwards you would just chill on the couch and eat the dinner you’d just made

talking about the most random shit

and without realising it, the two of you would be cuddling

and you’d wake up in the morning to find you’d fallen asleep on each other🥺

punz:

laser tag

mans loves competition

and would definitely want to be a show-off to you

you'd have an room just for yourself

hiding behind walls and obstacles until you stumbled into each other

and he wouldn't hesitate to raise his laser gun at you

and shoot you right in the chest with a menacing laugh

after a while it’d just be a battle between two

tackling each other all the time

and at some point he’d have you up against the wall

and as you were about to kiss

you’d lift you gun at him and shoot him right in the chest

which won you the game

afterwards, he’d follow you home

and maybe give you that kiss he tried to give you before

he’d be very down to stay with you for the night if you wanted him to

awesamdude:

the beach

you’d bring a bunch of fun activities with you

like card games, a beach volley game, etc.

and maybe even join in on a game of mini golf near you

you could also just be chilling on your towels

under the sun or under the shade

whatever your preference is

and then go into the water eventually

playing around together and just having fun

splashing water at each other

he’d sneak his way over to you

and just lift you up from under the water and onto his shoudlers

just laughing at the way you were screaming for him to let you down

when you got on the shore again, it felt easier to be affectionate with each other

you’d definitely go for ice cream on the way home

holding hands👉👈

eret:

karaoke bar

it would literally be the funniest time with him

you’d gotten one of those private rooms

so it would just be the two of you in the room

and you’d have so much fun choosing your favourite songs

and sometimes you'd just sit there and chat

while karaoke music played in the background with none of you singing

he’d want to duet with you at some point

bringing you close to him just to see you get all flustered

I could definitely imagine a first kiss right then

if it had all gone right throughout the night

when you were on your way back home

he’d lend you his jacket

and just tell you to keep it

“I’ll just pick it up tomorrow.”

tommy:

the zoo

tommy would be walking around commenting on literally every animal

“y/n look. hey, y/n. look at this ones’ face.”

takes a lot of pictures of the animals

and of you with the animals

and when you suspiciously asked if he was taking pictures of you after you’d spotted him

he’d just brush it off, immediately hiding his phone away

“of you? obviously, it was of the giraffe behind you.”

“tommy, there is no giraffe behind me.”

doesn't show any affection

he’s super nervous about the whole “touch” thing

so he just stays away from it

but if you were to grab his hand

he wouldn't pull away

he’d just stand there with red ass fucking cheeks

and would be praying for the animals to save him from any awkward situations

tubbo:

picnic

you’d be picking flowers together

flowers for the flower boy :)

and even make flower crowns if you felt really creative

enjoying the delicious foods you'd brought with you

he’d also be quite intimidated by affection, like tommy

but would very very subtly show it

only a little bit though

like, it would be pretty obvious whenever he got caught up staring at you

just looking at you as you picked at the grass outside of the blanket you were sat on

and sometimes he’d place a hand on you without really realising that that was something more unusual than you were used to

you’d bring a bracelet kit

and make cute little matching bracelets for each other

a really enjoyable date overall

with lots of laughter and chatter

ranboo:

an aquarium

even though c!ranboo is clearly not the biggest fan of water

this ranboo finds it quite fascinating

a pretty chill and easy-going first date

exactly what he wants

you’d walk around the whole aquarium

and make fun of the fishes with funny-looking faces

and then proceed to take pictures of each other by the fishes with the funny-looking faces

he would find it so adorable whenever you would point at one of the sea-creatures

and just look so amazed by it

he would literally almost melt right beside you

the closest thing to affection he would do, is putting a hand on your waist

it doesn't really progress further than that unless you initiate it

a proud moment of his was when he almost fell into the penguin inclosure

and you couldn’t stop laughing at it

a successful date to his eyes

___________________________________

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