#Gold Pokémon

[onebloodsoakedlion]

DISCLAIMER: This is a FAKE post that I made using Inspect Element. You will not find this on r/traumatizeThemBack. Also, u/GoldenFlame1999 is just a name I made up and if that's an actual user, please don't annoy them with this fake post.

This is about my Poképasta Lost and Stolen, so if you haven't read that, you may not understand. Gold is OP, Crystal is basically his sister and the edgy kid is... just some edgy nihilist that I made up on the spot.

Alt text under the cut:

Title: You insist on talking to me about death? I'll tell you about death!

Flair: [matched energy]

Body Text:

I just found this subreddit thanks to a friend of mine and I figured that this seems like the best place to share something that happened to me when I was 12 years old.

Prof. Elm had taken my sister and I to Sinnoh so we could catch some Pokémon for the National Dex. Not only did that mean new places to explore, but we weren't as well-known there - it would be nice to have a break from all the fame that came with beating the Indigo League.

As I had hoped, most of the people there were pretty chill. They weren't all over us like a pack of excited Growlithes. And the few that did know us didn't make a huge fuss about it.

But there just had to be this one person getting on my nerves. Some stupid edgy teenager with a team of spooky edgy Dark-Types challenged me to a battle. I wiped the floor with his Pokémon and got the prize money, so that should've been the end of it. But no, he asked me to hang around because he wanted to tell me something reeeeeeeeaaaaaaally important. Me: Sure, what is it? Him: Did you know that death is inevitable? Yeah, that's right - you're going to die. And eventually, every single achievement, no matter how noteworthy, will be forgotten. Me: Yeah, that's great, but can you please leave me alone?

But this bastard just does not stop and as I try to just walk away, he grabs me by the arm and pulls be back towads him. He tells me that he hasn't finished speaking and that he has so much more to tell me about the inevitability of death and the futility of my actions and that I should quit "chasing fame" because it will never be worth it in the end.

As you probably know, I'm actually no stranger to death. I am one of the victims of the Kanto-Johto Remake Incident, which had only been resolved mere months before the trip to Sinnoh happened. what happened to me during the incident was fresh on my mind and with some of the perpetrators still out there with the intention of killing me, I was on edge.

So I told this fuckass kid that I had something to say, too: "Did you know that when you die, you just go straight to Hell. There, a bunch of demonic Unown slowly tear your limbs off, drain the colour from your body and clothes, then leave you in a black void with nothing to do but relive twisted, nightmarish versions of your own memories. Wanna know how I know? Because I'm Pokémon Trainer Gold, one of the victims of the Kanto-Johto Remake Incident."

This boy goes completely pale and clammy and he backs off slowly, clutching his Gengar's Pokéball in his trembling hands, muttering something along the lines of "Gods, I forgot about that incident..." before curling into a ball and crying. Man it felt satisfying to see that brat get a taste of the trauma that he insisted on making me relive.

[tyako89]

[trainerjoshie]

Pokémon TCG E-Series Aquapolis (2003) Evolutionary illustrations by Naoyo Kimura ⭐️⭐️⭐️

[reesieroo-spark]

Umbreon? More like DUMBreon am I right? ⛓️☠️🌙

[s-pyder]

🕷️limitiv🕷️

[thehumanwiki]

hi and welcome to

✨bullshit that has ACTUALLY happened somewhere in the Pokémon franchise✨

-a teenaged boy runs away from home because of his abusive mom only to join a crime gang funded by his abusive mom.

-the player character is given a smartphone by and with direct contact to God.

-a man cosplaying God (the same God you got a phone from) attacks you with a demon banished to another dimension.

-a suicide cult led by an evil snowflake kills like one hundred other protagonists.

-there is an entire elemental typing consisting of abused and evil Pokémon that is super effective against everything else.

-the player falls into an alternate world and one of their friends is immediately arrested for playing sports.

-in the thrilling sequel, a bunch of ghosts kidnap children in their amusement park in the Shadow Realm.

-now that I think about it there are like three different games where the player character starts by falling from the sky.

-the protagonist of the TV adaptation has died like seven times, been crucified in Paris, watched several apocalypses, and has watched SO many people die in front of him, and I don’t think he’s brought it up like, ever.

-in one game, you can go on a crusade to brutally conquer the entire continent.

-the player of one game is part of a time loop caused by a magic turtle that indirectly kills one of their friend’s mother. Or father. Depends on the version.

-the player’s adoptive father is possessed by the personification of hate and sends them directly to Hell, then tries to do it again when they get out.

-the mafia’s plan for getting their boss back after he left is to violently hijack a radio station and ask really nicely.

-a space agency’s plan for stopping a meteor form colliding with the earth is to open a wormhole to another dimension. this plan is stopped by a woman in a torn cape who destroys their equipment and robs them.

-the protagonist’s father had a godlike clone fuse his consciousness with a mouse, and fights a man who fused his own consciousness with an alien.

-the one a cult leader chose to be king of his new religion is an abused autistic boy with green hair and wearing a baseball cap.

-you literally rob people’s Pokémon in one game and you’re still the good guy. …is there a gender neutral version of “good guy?”

And now for a BONUS ROUND!

✨shit that has gone down in the Pokémon manga adaptation alone!✨

-terrorists blow up an ENTIRE port city!

-one protagonist spent two years trapped in a Dream Realm™.

-you think that’s bad? TWO protagonists are trapped in the depths of space for like six months!

-you think THAT’S bad?! FIVE protagonists are turned into stone for an indefinite time period!

-a little orphan girl is hypnotized and trapped in a suit of armor.

-they crucify the gym leaders???

-one boy is whipped in the face with a chain used to subjugate the Gods Of Time And Space and he’s literally fine.

-a father punches his son in the face and hurls him down a staircase. The American translation censors this as a lightning strike.

-this same son fell into the ocean because of an earthquake like five chapters after he was introduced.

-one of the current protagonists is basically Wednesday Addams.

-two protagonists were kidnapped by birds and raised by a supervillain.

-two villains try to destroy the environment of an entire country, cause an apocalypse, and are stopped by being trapped in a flying car which crashes.

-a mysterious supervillain saves them— SOMEHOW— and makes them fight to the death for a suit of armor. The one that survives causes the apocalypse AGAIN but dies.

-they both get brought back from Hell to save the world, and after that’s over, they turn to dust and go back to Hell.

-the supervillain who saved them the first time also summons like ten gods and dips out, never to be seen again.

In other words Pokémon is weird (affectionate).

[v-3-rdure]

trying to free myself from generic anime face comfort zone with some pkmn characters i like

[stringbeanartist]

Oo-oo-oa-oa

[pokeprint]

Serenade in Alto Mare

Artist

[acquired-stardust]

Pokemon Crystal Gameboy Color 2000

[falgaia]

Hisuian Hex Maniac

>animated ver.

[osiro]

Beach Day! By Me

[tyako89]

[trainerjoshie]

Pokémon TCG Neo Discovery (2001) Houndour illustration by Aya Kusube ⭐️⭐️

[turning-n-into-random-pokemon]

How about at HouNdoom? It’s a sufficiently spooky Pokemon.

[reesieroo-spark]

I was today years old when I noticed that Lt Surge doesn’t have eyebrows, whatever, I still think he’s sexy as hell