#God the jokes write themselves | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

biscuit-munchies · 2 months ago

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looking up weapons for my monkey wrench oc and I can't believe that there's a holy weapon that has the spelling one would interpret as "Gay Bulge" ahhahfuuaHhhHuAHHAHah

#GOD the jokes write themselves #hahahuhba #monkey wrench #text post

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piyo13sdoodles · 8 months ago

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just a normal guy with a normal horse, nothing to see here

bonus:

#symbrock #eddie brock #venom symbiote #venom: the last dance #venom the last dance #venom 3 #can we call it that #anyways my god the riding jokes sure to write themselves huh

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fanfic-enthusiast · 18 days ago

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did you know that corn beer is a thing? People make beer with corn

Also there’s a fungus that grows on corn that’s considered a delicacy in Mexico. Consider Razzma staring at Cobigail like “hmmmm… huitlacoche”

XD Oh my GOD THATS SO GOOD!!

Razzmatazz getting pranked one too many times way back when and ranting to King about making the biggest glass of corn beer the Grove- no the World has ever seen.

I didn't know about the huitlacoche tho that's kinda cool there's a fungus that grows on corn like that. I feel like if some got on Cobigail it would sorta look like a fashion accessory? Kinda? Can't imagine it would feel nice for her tho lol

#according to google another name for huitlacoche is “corn smut”#I feel like the jokes there write themselves lmao #maybe if I write more cobigail stuff I can use that as a title #thx for the cool info anon :D #great god grove #cobigail #razzmatazz #ggg razzmatazz

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unproduciblesmackdown · 16 days ago

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winston my quant of billions

#''😒''#corned beef #winston billions #& green of all things; drew it in purpley pink & being like whoa hey is this too much deliberately breaking out this Rare Coloring #minty fresh....been funny to be rotating the villainy of; let's say; bsol & xmas & then thinking about billions' whole other world there #& its completely different take where of all things winston is like. treated as a villain in a way its sicko My God central men aren't #(who are also quite different from iconis villains but yknow with the very fundamental differences in general what else is a surprise)#axe? prince? alive & well & billions does mean to be commenting on that like yeah sure #but winston? gotta be humiliated & violated & attacked / killed (if figuratively + just by assumption Oh He's Fiiine)#as well as basically truly dead to everyone but in a Never Existed / Spontaneously Shunned way. nobody thinks about him ever again #including when non wretched central men characters are getting these silver linings Benefits from their sabotaging a central man #not winston though maybe; the writing has forgotten him / sees no worth in bringing him up unless At His Expense; not gain #didn't get background randos telling prince or the like to go fuck himself at any point. open contempt reserved for winston there #better to have Objective Entitlement to power over / access to people & then; hey what the; be an asshole about it???#than to not just Have that entitlement & not expect it & not try to use it & be friendly & minding your own business as much or more than #any other characters like good lord what a Loser. the queerness & disability of this inferiority? just some jokes (at winston's expense)#& we will be killing him like nobody even considers for central men takedowns. those are polite & we all have Some regret it came to this #better to abuse people than. be so unepic (different from Normal white cishet 50some men who love certain media)#& on that note you're never gonna guess what's Good to do to the unepic people who bring it upon themselves....yeah haha. abuse #you're never gonna guess but power difference is a given & also good if an epic person has that power. & on that note #what can they do with it but keep unepic people in their place? what other hope do we have? winston may try to say a pun. or speak at all :#anyway while there's the absolute joys of Any Good Bastard over in a wildly different oeuvre it's like well yknow #while winston is already Ruining Things as more a Wretched Sicko Evil Asshole for seeing himself as a person & others as people #instead of himself as an inferior who has to apologize for existing & initiating any interaction vs only ever doing as he's told #unlike the best heroes who know they're superior & will use others & mess with their lives however they feel is justified; you're welcome #like well if winston's such an exceptional dick(tm) around here that he has to be introduced w/discussion / explanation around this #great let him be even bitchier & more ''difficult''....& billions would never & that's why [sorry to all the characters trapped in there]#the slightest glimpses of like & The Quasirival Weirdo Duos Are Kinda Being Cunts b/w usual parallels riawin & taylip #what comes of that? oh nothing. but as ever these are at least glimpses of a little more liveliness & range for making room for this a sec #anyway imagine getting so niche that your other kinda just as niche thing is like. less niche. but not really. wheee yayyy fr lol My Whimsy

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uservalentine · 3 months ago

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dutch commentators going all “oh yeah so this is why max respects charles so much cause he races the same!!!” only for max to complain on radio LMAOOOO

#some jokes write themselves #word heeeeelemaal gek van ze my god #max verstappen #viaplay #f1 #formula 1 #brazil gp 2024 #interlagos gp 2024

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puppppppppy · 1 year ago

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i feel shy talking here when i dont have anything worth sharing but i cant help feeling like ive said things in the tags that could be brought up in court

#im joking #i think i just get embarrassed saying smth that most ppl can see out in the open. its like when prey animals are grazing in a pasture #and then they hear a twig snap yk. im like that. but talking in the tags is more comfortable because it just feels more.. hidden?? quiet???#its kind of like how i prefer responding thru asks than DMs.. idk if it has something to do with space or less pressure #i also use these as an excuse to ramble a little abt recent events so. ive worked a little bit on shuffle and prestos backstories ^_^#i was thinking abt giving them a shared past where they knew each other as kids and forgot but i also though hmm.. idk if it would drive th #story i want bc i think itd be better if they bonded over similar experiences instead of the fact that they knew each other before. i get #that reconnecting and reconciling your idea of someone now and then is a good concept but id have to think abt it.. i dont want it to feel #like they owe each other to be friends again just bc they were as kids. ive experienced that a lot and all it did was make me feel guilty #so i think id want to write it as u can be friends with someone who had similar experiences and make u wish you knew each other then #i also know theyd hate each other but idk HOW. i suck at writing conflict so idk if theyd try to make each other eat glass and why #idk if itll ever come up but id also like to see if theres a way i could rationalize why they have animal ears.. normally i say aliens #but ive had an idea for a species and background for that too. although its very abstract and it probably has a lot of holes #smth abt peoples souls attaching themselves to smth they identify with.. although i dont know to what extent like if it can #be called a sona or if it can even be smth mythical like a unicorn or god itself.. its very weird rn #yapping #oc talk

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welcometoteyvat · 2 years ago

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need xiao and kujou sara to meet asap btw.

- golden winged peng vs winged tengu (whose wings, incidentally, were damaged when she received her vision...)

- both dedicate their lives to their archons

- separated from the society (mortals, Inazuman troops/Tengou Commission) they were brought up in because of certain factors (karma, status as adopted child and tengu)

perhaps they’d understand each other. maybe they’d know what it’s like—an existence as a god’s right hand, and everything it entails. their eyes meet, gold on gold; they know: this person might only understand half of me but that's half more than anyone else. what’s it like to serve a god so deeply—what do you sacrifice and how does it remake you? sara believes that her vision was granted by the raiden shogun, saving her, and thus dedicates herself to carrying out the will of thunder across the land. xiao receives his new name from morax, and in return, agrees to protect liyue for however long it will need. sara’s wings, injured, as she falls off the mountain—alatus, lacking his golden wings, the bloodhound of that unknown god.

#theyre also really attached to rex lapis/raiden shogun merch btw xiao definitely has enough dragon plushies to match sara's collection of St #Statues of Her Excellency，the Almighty Narukami Ogosho， God of Thunder #anyways what i'm saying is that they should talk and maybe sort out their traumas bc they can see themselves in the other person #btw theyre also both cold/indifferent on the outside but gentle/passionate on the inside. i love characters who are mirrors #also the diff between x and ks is that liyue didn't have shitty archon q writing am i right or am i right #that was a half joke but god... unsure how i feel about sara's characterization wrt agency and what went down in inazuma in general rip #xiao #kujou sara #genshin impact #teyvat thoughts #genshin xiao #sara is one of the three 4* i still don't have so i didn't know she got fucking scolded for just playing w the soldiers as a kid until i sea #searched it up and #bro what the fuck. what the fuck. kujou takayuki im going to kill you

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blowflyfag · 10 months ago

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Huh. Wonder what Tumblr’s trying to tell me.

#gods most predictable man #what’s my tumblr tryin to say huh #??#Eris speaks #divine comedy I guess idk #the jokes write themselves

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alioshakaramazov · 1 year ago

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nothing will ever be more real to me than 19th century literature. just pack your bags and leave boys, you're just not going to measure up to that. a human that knows about cryptocurrency won't ever be able to conjure up the level of emotion those cocaine and laudanum infused brains were delivering consistently on weekly deadlines

#something is changed in your brain when you're 14 and reading 200 year old books you can't even grasp the full meaning of yet #im not saying this in a snob way im saying that if your book doesn't say 'this is an universal truth' unironically #what are you even doing as an author #be brave! be stupid also. but god i can't stand self conscious writing that needs to make itself a 4th wall joke #so that the author never really puts themselves at risk #what was i talking about #anyway

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thegetdownrebooter · 2 years ago

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t*yl*r sw*ft getting dragged every 5 business days... i used to pray for times like these.

#i'm sorry but i hate her so fucking bad #i must speak my truth #god her music is so mediocre and her performative activism actually fooling a generation of young girls is so pitiful #like... you have a bunch of sw*ft*es actually thinking she is some closeted lesbian... bffr #mind you she only started spewing her fake woke “gay rights” shit after she got cancelled in 2016 #like why are you shocked by her dating that awful man? surely her lame rebranding after reputation didn't fool you fr?#god... i miss 2016 #back when people realized she was a performative white feminist that only used feminism for her benefit #lmfaoo i remeber swifties trying to defend her about the private jet shit #i wonder if they will claim “misogyny” in response to her dating an edgelord neo nazi #at the end of the day she doesn't actually practice what she preaches like it's all part of her brand #and also she isn't secretaly dating karlie kloss or whatever #in fact karlie is married to a trump in-law like... the jokes write themselves #anyways if you wanna stand a white pop girl so bad ariana is right there #sabrina is also right there #britney is still standing #in fact britney's blackout album is better than anything she has ever released i can tell you that much #i know i will most likely get jumped by her racist cult fanbase but i must speak my truth #maybe i won't have to hear that stupid anti-hero song at the grocery store anymore

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new-haven-psych-ward · 2 years ago

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Kamen Rider Geats episode 31 poorly summarized via memes with as little context as possible:

#kamen rider geats #kamen rider geats poorly summarized #kamen rider geats ep 31 #hello hello im back on my bs #and can i just say i have ZERO clue how theyre resolving this arc #really no damn idea #also tho the catholic jokes write themselves this episode #heaven? hell? a god who judges on arbitrary will unknown to us?#sorry did i miss geats and somehow end up back in sunday school?#also a man sacrifices his flesh for his son too #“this is my body eat of it and you shall live”#anyways #also surprised how they revealed info vital to both ace and keiwa this ep #wasnt expecting there to be such a clinical reason behind the death of his parents tbh #also poor keiwa #he was relevant to the plot but at what cost AT WHAT COST #still have no idea what they plan on doing w buffa #we gonna bring up that turning into a jyamato thing or...?

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o-wyrmlight · 2 years ago

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Cookie your tags are so good ssjkfdkfhskdjh

Thanks I grew them myself in my garden

#was going to go in a long ramble about how i often wish that like #tumblr replies let you like replies and other social medias let you leave tags #because when you're on twitter or smth you just want to casually say like #'i like x part of this thing :)' or 'oh my god they're gay' but like #you don't want to tweet it. if that makes sense. 'cause the tweet is treated like a whole-ass post #and is it worth saying 'nice' just for that?#where people have to find the context in the post you're replying to? where it might get lost in translation?#but no. tags themselves they are already on the post that i intend them to be by default #i am already reblogging the post #and the tags are always going to be at the bottom of the post #and if i am able to put across the rampant thoughts of my brain i may as well do it #especially because i--as a fellow artist--do genuinely love when people go wild in their tags on my stuff :)#plus tumblr is a site that enables going A Little Wild With It so my filters are very much loosened #and that doesn't hurt matters either because adhd #tags are funny i like them. more people should use them i think #it's like you're whispering something secret to the op that only you the op your followers and anyone who happens to find you in the notes #will ever really read. it's so Optional it's great #anyways. i love that tumblr decided it'd be a fun practical joke to just #log me out while i was writing those tags. that is so funny. april 1st came early

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lorddeathofmurdermountain · 5 months ago

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Tumblr users will inevitably bust out the most fire prose the moment they talk about something they like.

I mean who the fuck just casually says that first paragraph. That's insane. I should read their posts more often. This is the sort of thing I fucking wish I could consistently write. Instead I can only write stuff like this once or twice a year when I get struck by inspiration like a lightning bolt that fills me with some unknown energy, as if bringing life to long-dead dreams now gloriously shining like a reflection of the sun within my mind once more; a distortion of those dreams I once held, incomplete and formless yet no less beautiful.