#God is greater than ups and downs
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african-paradise-world · 8 months ago
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https://africanparadiseworld.com/2022/09/25/god-higher-than-the-highs-and-lows/
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particleseparationroom · 5 months ago
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on all levels except physical i am 50 years old
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dramarants · 2 years ago
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I've said this before but as much as I was screaming at my screen, this is an opportunity for ttj to raise roots somewhere that not only includes the love of his life but also relationships without ridonkulous power imbalances among a supportive community and a new way of life outside the expectations set upon him since birth. who knows, maybe he'll choose to embrace his devil god fate lord knows the tension would not only be palpable but sexy af or maybe he'll become the supreme ultimate botanical sword master but he finally gets to be an active agent of his own life, choosing people, values, and goals for his own future, and hopefully, his journey (and lss's own growth returning + learning her identity) will reunite them knowing they're stronger, happier, and simply uplift each other when together. ttj's enduring love surmounted death and five centuries of agony to bring him to her place in the immortal realm, now it's up to them to figure themselves out and truly make it their home.
#till the end of the moon#I can see ttj becoming a devil god who's more devoted to his space goddess heiress/overseeing mortal trials than wreaking havoc#or embracing the cang jiumin persona to continue to fight fate itself and defeat the devil god with lss#whatever it is I see a transformation which could foster healthier yet equally passionate love and fulfillment down the line#with room for classic ttj unhinged dramatics ofc hehe#just gotta wait for the fluffy mushy pursual scenes that should come in the meantime bc w/o them my nerves might kill me 🙃#or maybe lovelorn/yearning lyx visuals will get me through#LMAO either way cackling at my irritation w/ this devil business parting them in a drama about a girl conflicted about loving a devil god#and my weird faith that this show ends happy - for all I know lss ends up killing ttj for real & I'll live the rest of my life hollow??#like he loves her till his last breath thinking it was really unrequited & she lives on in guilt/grief for the greater good till her time?#or he regresses and rages against her denial and ends up destroying the immortal sects and they lose each other?#I don't see it but#how fucked up would that be??#omg what if he sacrifices himself protecting the immortal realm bc he's learned to love the world as she does 😭 like a bittersweet ending#okay I'm rambling and stressing myself out more - bottom line: ttj might have some growth and maybe lss too#ranting#edit: the way I was correct and incorrect in the worst ways
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daincrediblegg · 1 year ago
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I started reading The Terror… and I LIKE it?
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acourtofquestions · 28 days ago
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Kingdom of Ash Chapters 46-47
He didn't see Lysandra. Aelin made no appearances, either.
The queen had abandoned them, the soldiers muttered Aedion made sure to shut down the talk. Had snarled that the queen had her own mission to save their asses, and if she wanted Erawan to know about it, she would have announced it to them all, since they were so inclined to gossip. It eased the discontent-barely.
Aelin had not defended them with her fire, had left them to be butchered.
The Bane began striking their swords against their shields. A steady heartbeat to override the vibrations of the Morath soldiers marching toward them.
He had not prepared a speech to rally them. A speech would not keep these men from dying today.
So Aedion drew the Sword of Orynth, hefted his shield, and joined the Bane's steady beat. Conveying all the defiance and rage in his heart, he clashed the ancient sword against the dented, round metal. Rhoe's shield. Aedion had never told Aelin. Had wanted to wait until they returned to Orynth to reveal that the shield he'd carried, had never lost, had belonged to her father. And so many others before that. It had no name. Even Rhoe had not known its age. And when Aedion had spirited it away from Rhoe's room, the only thing he grabbed when the news came that his family had been butchered, he had let the others forget about it, too. Even Darrow had not recognized it. Worn and simple, the shield had gone unnoticed at Aedion's side, a reminder of what he'd lost. What he'd defend to his final breath.
Chaos reigned.
Aedion roared from somewhere, from the heart of hell, "Re-form the lines!" The order went ignored.
The Bane tried and failed to hold the line.
Ansel of Briarcliff bellowed to her fleeing men to get back to the front, Galan Ashryver echoing her commands to his own soldiers. Ren shouted to his archers to remain, but they too abandoned their posts.
Lysandra slashed through the shins of one Morath soldier, then ripped the throat from another. None of Terrasen's warriors remained a step behind her to decapitate the fallen bodies.
No one at all.
Over. It was over.
Useless, Aedion had called her.
Lysandra gazed toward the ilken feasting on the right flank and knew what she had to do.
The queen has come. The queen is at the front line.
For a foolish heartbeat, he scanned the sky for a blast of flame.
None came.
Dread settled into his heart, fear deeper than any he'd known.
The queen is at the front line—at the right flank.
Lysandra.
Lysandra had taken on Aelin's skin.
He whirled toward the nonexistent right flank.
Just as the golden-haired queen in borrowed armor faced two ilken, a sword and shield in her hands.
No.
The word was a punch through his body, greater than any blow he'd felt.
Aedion began running, shoving through his own men. Toward the too-distant right flank. Toward the shape-shifter facing those ilken, no claws or fangs or anything to defend her beyond that sword and shield.
No.
He pushed men out of the way, the snow and mud hindering each step as the two ilken pressed closer to the shifter-queen.
Savoring the kill.
But the soldiers slowed their fleeing. Some even re-formed the lines when the call went out again. The queen is here. The queen fights at the front line.
Exactly why she had done it. Why she had donned the defenseless, human form.
No.
The ilken towered over her, grinning with their horrible, mangled faces.
Too far. He was still too damn far to do anything—One of the ilken slashed with a long, clawed arm.
Her scream as poisoned talons ripped through her thigh sounded above the din of battle.
She went down, shield rising to cover herself.
He took it back.
He took back everything he had said to her, every moment of anger in his heart.
Aedion shoved through his own men, unable to breathe, to think.
He took it back; he hadn't meant a word of it, not really.
Lysandra tried to rise on her injured leg. The ilken laughed.
"Please," Aedion bellowed. The word was devoured by the screams of the dying. "Please!" He'd make any bargain, he'd sell his soul to the dark god, if they spared her.
He hadn't meant it. He took it back, all those words.
Useless. He'd called her useless. Had thrown her into the snow naked.
He took it back.
Aedion sobbed, flinging himself toward her as Lysandra tried again to rise, using her shield to balance her weight.
Men rallied behind her, waiting to see what the Fire-Bringer would do. How she'd burn the ilken. There was nothing to see, nothing to witness. Nothing at all, but her death.
Yet Lysandra rose, Aelin's golden hair falling in her face as she hefted her shield and pointed the sword between her and the ilken. The queen has come; the queen fights alone. Men ran back to the front line. Turned on their heels and raced for her.
Lysandra held her sword steady, kept it pointed at the ilken in defiance and rage. Ready for the death soon to come.
She had been willing to give it up from the start. Had agreed to Aelin's plans, knowing it might come to this. One shift, one change into a wyvern's form, and she'd destroy the ilken. But she remained in Aelin's body. Held that sword, her only weapon, upraised. Terrasen was her home. And Aelin her queen. She'd die to keep this army together. To keep the lines from breaking. To rally their soldiers one last time.
Her leg leaked blood onto the snow, and the two ilken sniffed, laughing again. They knew— what lurked under her skin. That it was not the queen they faced. She held her ground. Did not yield one inch to the ilken, who advanced another step.
For Terrasen, she would do this. For Aelin.
He took it back. He took it all back.
Aedion was barely a hundred feet away when the ilken struck. He screamed as the one on the left swept with its claws, the other on the right lunging for her, as if it would tackle her to the snow.
Lysandra deflected the blow to the left with her shield, sending the ilken sprawling, and with a roar, slashed upward with her sword on the right. Ripping open the lunging ilken from navel to sternum. Black blood gushed, and the ilken shrieked, loud enough to set Aedion's ears ringing. But it stumbled, falling into the snow, scrambling back as it clutched its opened belly. Aedion ran harder, now thirty feet away, the space between them clear. The ilken who'd gone sprawling on the left was not done. Lysandra's eye on the one retreating, it lashed for her legs again.
Aedion threw the Sword of Orynth with everything left in him as Lysandra twisted toward the attacking ilken. She began falling back, shield lifting in her only defense, still too slow to escape those reaching claws. The poison-slick tips brushed her legs just as his sword went through the beast's skull. Lysandra hit the snow, shouting in pain, and Aedion was there, heaving her up, yanking his sword from the ilken's head and bringing it down upon the sinewy neck. Once. Twice.
The ilken's head tumbled into the snow and mud, the other beast instantly swallowed by the Morath soldiers who had paused to watch. Who now looked upon the queen and her general and charged.
Only to be met by a surge of Terrasen soldiers racing past Aedion and Lysandra, battle cries shattering from their throats.
Aedion half-dragged the shifter deeper behind the re-formed lines, through the soldiers who had rallied to their queen. He had to get the poison out, had to find a healer who could extract it immediately. Only a few minutes remained until it reached her heart. Perhaps the gods had listened. Perhaps it was their idea of mercy: that the ilken's poison had worn off on other victims before it'd gotten to her.
Aedion scanned the regrouping army for any hint of the healers' white banners over their helmets. None. He whirled toward the front lines. Perhaps there was a Fae warrior skilled enough at healing, with enough magic left—Aedion halted. Beheld what broke over the horizon.
Ironteeth witches.
A witch tower.
Oh gods.
"Fall back!" Aedion screamed, even while his men continued to rally. "FALL BACK." Aedion whirled and began running, carrying the shifter with him. "FALL BACK!"
The army beheld what approached. Whether they realized it was no siege tower, they understood his order clearly enough. Saw him sprinting, Aelin over his shoulder.
There was nowhere to hide on the field. No dips in the earth where he might throw himself and Lysandra, praying the blast went over them. Nothing but open snow and frantic soldiers.
"RETREAT!" Aedion's throat strained.
The Yielding.
The world shuddered.
Aedion threw Lysandra into the mud and snow and hurled himself over her, as if it would somehow spare her from the roaring force that erupted from the tower, right at their army.
One heartbeat, their left flank was fighting as they retreated once more.
The next, a wave of black-tinted light slammed into four thousand soldiers.
When it receded, there was only ash and dented metal.
#Chapter 46#Chapter 47#Lysandra Ennar#Aedion Ashryver#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#first read along with me NO SPOILERS PLEASE#spoilers in post and tags with more quotes notes reacts sorry tried google doc shorthand lol#Ineed you2stay sane&safe-this would make a great adaptation-this was war-the ghost leopard better get her title-no speech 2 save-he knew#shield4her-shed Bfire-shell burn the world-from the heart of hell-Hope ran-mayBthis fear-he gonna realize it when hes losing her dam-LYSDON#where has our queen gone-she knew what she had 2 do-their both remembering the same words-she became defenseless so they would Bbrave-2late#living Hope she rose like a queen-Shed been willing from the start-she would die 4 it1last time yes the witches-NO NO NO NOT OUR WITCHES RU#DO NOT FUCKING YIELDING-holy fuck this better not B4eshadowing shit-no2WERS-Nox returned W a few hundred even-less-trained warriors-No magi#wielders Im just happy every time its Nox-tearing their uprising should they learn the true Heir2Perranth had been held captive in the high#tower of the castle-puppet lordThe queen had abandoned them the soldiers mutteredAedion made sure2shut down the talk-Aedion had said#similiar thoughHell hedve wept2C Dorian Havilliard&his considerable power at that momentTHINGS ARE REALLY BAD-Lys remembered the girl but#their advantage lay in the frozen river not in letting themselves Bcornered 2 endure a slow deathCome ON SOMEONEThe Bane beganAspeech would#keep these men from dying 2dayRhoes shield never had a chance2tell Aelinthe beat2hide the fear Worn&simpleshield had gone unnoticed@Aedions#side a reminder of what hed lostWhat hed defend 2 his final breathChaos reignedAedion roared from somewhere from the heart of hellRe4m the#linesThey never s2pped fightingthe right the leftNo one at alluvrIt was overUseless Aedion had called herLysandra gazed 2ward the ilken&kne#what2doAedion imagined theyd all Bkilled where they s2od battling 2gether until the endNot picked off1by1as they fled-disgrace unworthyThe#The queen has comeThe queen is at the front line4a foolish heartbeat he scanned the sky 4 a blast of flameDread settled in2 his heart-fear#deeper than any hed knownThe queen is at the front line at the right flankLysandraNoThe word was a punch through his body greater than any#blow hed feltNoExactly why shed done4the front lineHe 2ok it back she went down shield rising2cover herselfHe 2ok back everything hed said2#her every moment of anger in his heartPleaseHed make any bargain hed sell his soul2the dark god if they spared herHe hadnt meant itThere wa#2wnothing2CnothingitnessNothing at all but her death. Yet Lysandra roseShed been willing2give it up from the startHad agreed2Aelins plans#knowing it might come2thisBut she remained in Aelins bodyHeld that sword her only weapon upraisedTerrasen was her home&Aelin herQueen shed#die 2keep the army 2getherThat it was not the queen they facedShe held her groundDid not yield1inch4Terrasen she would do this4AelinHe 2ok#it back Perhaps the gods had listenedPerhaps it was their idea of mercyAedion whirled&began running carrying the shifter W him-FALL BACK!TH#TOWER RETREAT-Yielding-TheWorld shuddered-Aedion hurled himself over her-as if 2 somehow spare her-nothing but ash
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mothercain · 1 month ago
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The Consequence of Audience
As I went there through the long, long wood, I felt no-thing and I was no-thing and I was at ease. The grey ash trees and their mottled plumage were as one with each other, curving and branching to form a ceiling overhead. There was wide separation between trunks, creating vast corridors stretching off in all directions before me, behind me, all around me. O, what praise I could sing of that never-ending dusk fall I spent between those oaks! None came with me, none came upon me, for I was alone and I was at ease. Yet came the day the trees broke, the corridor ended, and I was thrust upon the rocky expanse that was the Great Dark. There I saw first face and heard footstep, few and far between, but I was no longer alone. It was a shameful deed to carry these two naked hands as they clenched hotly, now in full display for all to see. I had never noticed them in the wood, for I was at ease. Here, the taut skin seemed to stretch and sweat, almost glowing, as if exasperated of their own grip. For as I wandered the Great Dark, there was not but grey, barren rock as far as any eye could see. It did make a passerby out of an observer. I saw them trudge by, fingers dipped into their open mouths desperate for wetness, the lolled tongue. There, in the wood, I was the watcher, but here I am nothing but displacing air. Yet, within the smothering toil of my apathy, I had heard the bell. Murmur of God between their slick, bent fingers ruffled the hair on the back of my neck. My muscles groaned against the weight of the skin around them, aching to be set loose. All at once, I saw, from where I stood, there rose a great dome atop a hill on the horizon before me. Yes, I saw it there with mine own two eyes! The white exterior peered at me with flat orifices obscured through the mist, barely distinguishable from the dark sky behind it, as though all the world beyond the dome was cut from the same slab, only slightly effaced. The convex roof sat atop a disk, held up by great ionic pillars circling the temple. Steps radiated out and down the slope, like ripples in a pond escaping a dropped stone. It was greater than life, greater than the wood, greater than all else which filled this dark, and my gullible delight was that it was all mine. Yes, all mine! One could follow me to it but they could not follow me in. My hands stretched outwards with an audible cracking in the bone as I crept forward there. I could not tell you the rest. I would not even attempt, for it would change no-thing. To know if I did go completely naked into the theater of the divine. If I did need for no-thing, want for no-thing. If I was then full to the brim, cylindrical pull slid through my gaping jaw into my endless throat. If I saw it there, shimmering through the veil like pearlescent oil over crystal water. If it heard me singing with every atom that formed me, through every orifice and wound I had, polytonal in my begging for it to complete me with the fifth. If it looked into me, saw how I needed to know what God knows and to be with him. If it spoke back to me in flat dissonance, “how couldn’t ye?” It would be of no good to speak these things to you. In what way I was still returned to the ground, even if beneath it, intact with my puerile need to repeat my-self and my mistakes. Who would not climb the wall for a peer over the edge? The cautionary tale is the fool’s errand, and I am no fool. I am as my hands are; twisting in on themselves and bursting at the seams. I can-not contain the ache for sensation, just as I could not contain the grief as I fell, nor the agony as I crawled my way back to this rocky countryside, and lo! I am on my way there again now. I am, I am, I am! But I will not tell you the visceral details, as you already know them. You all do.
It’s happening to every-body.
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luvgam3 · 3 months ago
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Older boyfriend Nanami pt 2!! nsfw headcanons
Part 1 <- pure fluff
Cw: nb!reader, mdni, horny nanami stuff <3
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- the most selfless lover ever. Takes greater pleasure in getting you off than getting off himself. Isn’t above begging. Actually… make him beg. He hates when you force him to drop down to his knees and plead :(( he loves it god he LOVES it
- isn’t the biggest fan of quickies, he likes taking his time with you. He will insist on kissing every inch of your body before touching where you need him most. Neck? Kissed. Chest? Kissed. Thighs? Kissed. Ankles? He kisses them when your legs are thrown over his shoulders. Not an inch of you will go unkissed!!!
- takes the greatest satisfaction in knowing he’s the best you’ve ever had. When he has you pressed into the mattress, back arched, legs trembling, face buried into the plush of a pillow that smells so strongly of him— he’ll bite your ear, his gentle kisses soothing the slight and sudden sting before he asks you if he’s the best cock you’ve ever had. If another man has ever had you cumming the way he did— shuddering underneath him, begging him to stop as he overstimulates you only for you to seemingly pull him impossibly closer.
- back pain for days so he loves when you ride him. On the couch, in the car, in bed— he doesn’t care! Ride that man till his soul leaves his body and he will thank you in the process.
- usually works late so when he gets home he’s exhausted, don’t count on him coming home energized and horny. The most ‘active’ time for him is early in the morning before the two of you start your day. Lazy and passionate morning sex with you is basically his coffee. All he needs is to wake up to you next to him and he’s wired and ready to go, peppering your face with kisses till you wake up with a yawn and a soft smile pretending you don’t feel his knee already between your thighs.
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princessbellecerise · 3 months ago
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Unlikely Places
Summary ✩ The unusual place your hotd lover likes to fuck you
Warnings ✩ Smut, straight up blasphemy (Aegon), semi-public sex
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Jacaerys Velaryon
As the King, it’s not exactly wrong for the two of you to do it, but it does feel taboo every time you ride him on the Iron Throne
Every time you climbed on his lap, mindful of all the sharp points and swords, you couldn’t help but think that you’re breaking some kind of rule that doesn’t exist. After all, Jacaerys is the King and technically it is his seat. As the most powerful man in the realm, there’s no one for you to answer to after doing such an act but it certainly feels like you should
The first time that he asked you to do it, you thought that he was crazy. It was so unlike Jacaerys to do something so…risky, that you genuinely thought it was a prank at first
Only when realized you that your husband was completely serious did you really start to consider it
And you had to admit, the rush of power that you got as you bounced on your husband’s cock, riding the most powerful man in the most powerful seat in the realm was nothing like you’d ever experienced before
It quickly became your guilty pleasure to do so, never minding when Jacaerys summoned you to the throne room at such late hours
For you knew what awaited you when you climbed those steps, and each time you were filled with delicious anticipation to do it all over again
Aemond Targaryen
Ever since he was a child, Aemond had been absolutely fascinated by dragons
His obsession with those beasts was almost unnatural as his mother used to say, and you were quite inclined to agree as one day, Aemond tried to convince you to let him fuck you on top of Vhagar
Of course, the request had been so ridiculous that you genuinely thought your husband to be ill at first, maybe having contracted some disease during his many travels
Only when you saw Aemond’s confident smirk did you realize that it was indeed not a jest, and your husband really did want you to ride him on top of a fucking dragon
So there you were, thousands of feet in the air and praying that you didn’t fall as you straddled Aemond’s lap
You held onto him tight as your cunt sank down, your hips moving with his in the large saddle
Every kiss, every touch was concealed within the clouds, Vhagar flying steady while you rode your husband. The sound of her wings masked the pathetic way you cried for Aemond, filthy praises and words of encouragement being whispered in your ears as you soared across the skies
Aegon Targaryen
Aegon figures that if he’s going to hell anyways, he may as well have a little fun in his mortal life
What’s life without a little risk anyways, he figures. This is why he has no problem fucking you in the Sept of Seven, having you on your knees, naked in front of the statue of the Mother
Instead of praying to her though, you worship him. You praise his cock and the way it makes you feel so good—better than praying, really
The absolute trill of someone coming in and getting caught is like no other. Sometimes, Aegon even hopes that you’ll be discovered—preferably by his mother or that cunt of Septa that’s always preaching about sin and virtue
He imagines their faces as he fucks you from behind, taunting you and making you look directly at the statue when you cum around him
Aegon’s never really believed in the Gods much, but the way your cunt feels wrapped around him is heavenly
And to him, there’s truly no greater tasting sin
Daemon Targaryen
Otto Hightower had once called Daemon brazen, irresponsible, violent, arrogant, reckless and a second Maegor
He supposed that it was true, but still, Otto Hightower was a cunt in Daemon’s mind, and the Prince would do anything to get back at him
…Including fucking in his bed
In Daemon’s very weak defense, he hasn’t meant to, really
When he pulled you in a for a kiss, intending to take you quickly before he had to attend a meeting later in the day, he hadn’t been paying attention to where he pulled you
He just wanted to feel you, to touch you before he had to leave for the day
And what do you know—the place that he ends up brining you to fufill your hurried tryst was the fucking Tower of the Hand
Neither of you realize it at first, too caught up in each other to notice the amount of green, grey and white around you
It isn’t until you stumble onto the actual bed, Daemon fumbling to get your clothing off do you finally look up and you’re greeted by a portrait of Otto fucking Hightower on the walls
Alarmed, you immediately tell Daemon and it takes only a second to realize where you’ve accidentally stumbled
Of course, Daemon thinks it’s hilarious and even if you want to leave, a little creeped out at the thought of being fucked on the same sheets the Hand of the King sleeps on, Daemon is entirely too thrilled to leave
Once the idea is in his brain, it won’t be going any time soon
A mischievous grin grows on your lover’s face, and somehow, Dameon convinces you to let him take on Otto’s clean, perfectly folded sheets, loving the way you mess them up with your messy fucking
Of course, he’ll just blame the servants for all the mess, but now every time he faces Otto there’s always a knowing smirk on Daemon’s face, smug that the Hand will never know the dirty things said and done on the very mattress he sleeps on
Cregan Stark
Cregan was the Lord of Winterfell, and because of that he was allowed to eat where he pleased, train where he pleased…and fuck where he pleased
It was this that he reminded you of as he took you in one of the hot springs the castle had to offer, water splashing as your husband’s hips thrust into yours
He had you on his lap, your tits pressed against his warm wet chest as you bounced on his cock
The both of you were well aware that this was a public place and that anyone could stumble upon you, but that only spurred you on more
Honestly, seeing your honorable and kind husband act so reckless was a turn on in itself, loving the way Cregan grunted and didn’t care who heard him
He was lost in the feel of your cunt and the warm water which only added to the sensations
Add that to the trill of getting caught, and neither of you really lasted long when you fucked in the springs
Still panting and filled with your husband’s seed, you grinned as you ran a hand through his tangled hair
“Another day without being caught,” You said, slightly disappointed
Cregan shrugged. “Well, maybe we’ll succeed next time.”
Benjicot Blackwood
“Ben, not here! Someone could see us!”
“Then let them see. Let those Bracken cunts see how a real man pleases his Lady wife,” Benji whispered, and you couldn’t even deny that fucking right on the Blackwood-Bracken boundary line didn’t bring a kind of fire to your veins that you craved
Your lover had always been more shy and sweet than anything else, but you knew just how deep his hatred for the Brackens ran when he threw all of that away and fucked you so close to their territory
Deep, satisfactory moans left his lips as he rutted into you, the thrill of getting caught edging you both on like no other
You pressed against Benji, panting as his cock drove in out of you and hit your sweet spots over and over
All you could think about, all you craved was cumming around your husband’s cock while his enemies watched; and you did
Benji was beyond proud of himself as you moaned and let the entirety of House Bracken know what was happening. Let them know how good he was making you feel
He felt bad for the wives of those smug cunts as surely they’d never know such pleasure, but at least Benji knew that you couldn’t relate
The Brackens could say whatever they wanted about his family, but at least the Blackwoods knew how to fuck
And who knows, if they were watching, then maybe they’d even learn a thing or two from Benji
tags 🏷️
@alyssa-dayne
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ruins-posts · 1 year ago
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Making You Cry [JJK Men]
Request: How would Gojo, Nanami, Toji and Sukuna react if they make their lover cry? Maybe they say something super mean to them during an argument (you don't have to write what they say, just how they react to seeing her cry because of them)
Characters: Gojo, Geto, Nanami, Toji and Sukuna
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── Gojo freezes as soon as that tear falls from your eye. God no, what has he done? He shuffles closer to you immediately, hands reaching to cup your face, his thumbs wiping the tears that roll down your cheeks.
"sssh, I'm so sorry, baby.." he says softly, brushing strands of your hair away from your face. "Please don't cry."
"Meanie," you sniffle as he hugs you, pulling you to his chest. He kisses the top of your head before letting out a soft chuckle.
"I know, so sorry, sweetheart."
── The last thing Geto wanted was to see you cry. He hated how the tears spilled past your eyes, how the poorly muffled sobs escapes your lips. He hated it with every fibre of his being.
"I..." he's unable to speak, fists clenching in anger. He's angry at himself. He was supposed to make you happy, not upset.
His hands grasp your face, thumbs wiping off your tears.
"S-Suguru..." the pained tone of your voice makes his gut wrench. How could he even do this to you?
"I'm sorry, my love." He pulls you into a gentle embrace, large hand supporting the back of your head as he comforts you. "Don't cry...I'm sorry."
── Had Nanami known his words would've caused you to cry, he would've done everything in his power to refrain himself from saying so. Now you're in pain. And it's because of him. He can't bear it.
"Please don't cry, love," he mumbles, guilt tugging at his heart. He sighs, taking your hands in his. "Please..."
"K-Kento.." he swears your trembling voice breaks his heart into two. He pulls you into a warm embrace, shushing you softly.
"So sorry, darling. I'm so sorry."
── Your crying would not follow and immediate apology from Toji. He's bad at apologising, but the sight of your tears, and the fact that his words were the reason for it, ate him up inside. He sighs, sitting you on his lap, brushing your tears away.
"Look at me, baby."
His expression softens as he sees your puffy eyes, eyes and ears red from crying. How could he possibly live with the fact knowing that he's the reason for it?
"I'm sorry," he grumbles, a hint of guilt evident in his tone. Pulling you closer to his chest, he holds you for a while to help ease you up. He'll never hurt you again.
── You must be an idiot if you believe Sukuna, the king of curses, would ever apologise. Sukuna's pride is much greater than his guilt- that is, if he felt any. He would never say sorry.
However, his apology lies in his actions. That night, he climbs into your bed and shuffles close to you as you sleep, studying your face. Then, he kisses your reddened nose (thanks to all the crying) and pulls you closer to him.
"Brat," he mutters to himself. But he never wants to see his brat cry again.
That's it. That's his apology. If you ever speak of how you ended up in his arms the next morning- he'll kill you.
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wherethatoldtraingoes2 · 5 days ago
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i’m here speaking on behalf of mahmoud. (@ma7moudgaza2)
i talk to mahmoud every day, and honestly? the situation he’s in terrifies me. i could not imagine what he’s going through, and the fact that he has no escape haunts me.
to those of you reading this who need to hear it;
i understand that activism burns a lot of people out. it’s stressful to fight. it’s terrifying to be in palestine, in congo, in sudan right now. it’s exhausting to help fight, day after day after day. but you need to keep helping. sit down for a second of you need it, and then stand up, dust off your clothes, and keep on walking.
the world will not be rebuilt in a day. but we keep fighting nonetheless.
back to the post:
i had to edit a lot of what mahmoud said, for both conciseness and clarity. but here is the exact copy.
“Oh Lord...” was the last word I said before going to sleep, and it came out of me with a flame of burning and fear. I prayed and sat in my tent, looked up at the sky through the cracks of the tent, and recalled what had happened during the year. My tears flowed, my head began to hurt, and suffocation was killing my chest.   I usually turn on the internet after dinner, but tonight I didn't want to. I wanted to go out, but where should I go? for whom?
Imagine yourself in my place. Around 20 members of my family, I remembered my beautiful memories and the news of my friends’ death. My body shook and I sat on the floor, and the screams of my mother and sisters filled the place. I wanted to sleep and didn't want to wake up.  I remembered how I walked with 10 children from north to south. The responsibilities I carry are greater than I can handle. I remembered searching for a home for my family, standing in line to get food, and how upset the people closest to us were.
I woke up to my mother’s voice asking me: “What’s wrong with you, Mahmoud?” I went out, but I felt strange and I came back and sat at the tent door feeling suffocated.  I reassured myself of returning, but I remembered that our house had been bombed, and there was nothing left. I put the pillow on my head and said, “Lord, you are hers.”  I woke up today and we were afraid, but thank God, nothing happened. I wasn't going to work, but I was encouraged.  I'm really suffocated and I have nothing. The only thing left is the money from the fundraising campaign you launched. I was hesitant to ask for help, but now I have no choice.
I ask you for help. $10 could save me and my family. If you can't, participate in the campaign. You are the only hope.
if mahmoud’s story doesn’t speak to you, i don’t know what i can say that can.
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teaboot · 5 months ago
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I seriously hope you can job hop to something else cause you're not chaotic neutral man.
You're still a white Canadian whose actions and job help more the megacorps keep the status quo.
I really looked up to you but that's on me.
And yeah, I know security, cop shit and military pay good money but at the cost of my people? Fuck no.
Listen. I feel you. But there's a lot of cold, power-tripping bastards in this line of work and if I stick where I am then they don't get to have that.
I'm not a cop. I am not beholden to the justice system. Sometimes I get contracted out to people who say shit like "addicts should be put down, if you see any crackheads drag them out" and I nod and say "yes sir", and then I take their money and use it to buy those people coffee and a sandwich and tell 'em when free lunch days are at the church.
Boss sees me walking with someone and thinks I'm kicking them out, gives my boss great reviews. I'm having a great conversation with Connie, who used to by a stylist and wound up on the street after an accident that left her with chronic pain and a heroin addiction. Connie learns that there's a gap between two property lines nearby where technically nobody can call to have her removed.
There's a really sweet guy in town who's normally very nice, but sometimes flies into paranoid rage and yells slurs at people. Sometimes he forgets he's been banned from places and wanders in looking for a wife he hasn't had for nine years. Owner sends me to kick him out, and I ask "hey Mike, how are you?" And see where we are today.
One time there was a guy whose abusive ex kept following him to work, and I got to walk him to his car at the end of every day to make sure she couldn't get him alone.
Another person had a stalker who kept asking receptionists when she was gonna be there, when she was supposed to leave, if she was in today. I'd keep record of every time he came in, every time someone saw him, every time he violated his restraining order or damaged her things.
And when I wonder if I'm actually helping or not, or if I'm part of the greater problem, I remember that other people who work with me call homeless people wildlife and talk about how bad they wanna get an excuse to fight someone and I remember that I'm the one who knows where the blind spots on the cameras are, and thank God it's not him.
My position is fundamentally different from that of the military or law enforcement. I don't *need* to be buddy-buddy with most of these dickheads- I don't *need* to send people into the justice system.
I do single-person foot patrol. Nobody cares how I get the job done. They say, "Hey, faceless goon number three- make that bastard disappear" and I say "on it, boss" and give him tickets to disney world.
I once asked another guard if he knew that one of our regulars used to be an airplane technician. He said, "No, I don't talk to them". Blanket "Them". "Them" as in street people. "Them" as in addicts, or shoplifters, or ex-cons, or sex workers.
I asked why, and he told me, "it's easier if you don't think of them as people."
Anyhow, now I get calls to "watch that sketchy lady who just came in" and I say, "yes, sir" and leave her the fuck alone, 'cause that's Jolene, and people always think she's on drugs and aggressive but she's just deaf in one ear and slurs cause she has brain damage, you dickhead
so yeah, don't worry, I've spent a lot of time weighing the pros and cons of my vocation, and I still think I'd rather be in charge of my locations than someone like Darryl, who dreams of "cuffing a perp" and drives a car with Punisher decals on the hood
Also it's minimum wage but that's kinda tangential
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sunniepoo · 4 months ago
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your roommate never knew when to keep his hands off, even when you were asleep
cw: dubcon, somno, dark!jj
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jj knew what he was doing was disgusting, he knew that it was pervy and creepy and gross and every name under the sun for just straight up wrong. it’s not that he didn’t feel bad but the pleasure and satisfaction he gained every night, jerking off into his hand with the image of you naked, with the pellets of water trickling down you wore greater than his conscious
when you’d moved in,a couple months ago, there was a silent reminder in his head to not scare you away or push any boundaries but he couldn’t help but have a slight inkling that you wanted him to prey, you wanted him to push and play to his limit. the way you would leave your panties laying out on the floor, it was like you wanted him to pick them up and fist them around his dick, inevitably cumming into them
or how you’d shower with the door open just enough so he could see the outline of your tits through the foggy shower door. he knew he sounded like a perv when ranting on about it to the brunette boy, hands flailing about, mumbling about how ‘she’s gotta be doing it on purpose…i mean - wh-why else” earning a questionable stare from john b who scoffs out about him being a full on classic creep
it was so so conflicting, he knew he shouldn’t - you were probably just being naive, your usual sweet mindset blurring the sultryness within your actions but he couldn’t help but use your actions as justification for what he was doing. you would’ve said something by now id it bothered you, right?
but it wasn’t always weird,there were quiet domestic moments aswell, like tonight.
the loud rumble of thunder was enough to make you squeal eliciting a soft laugh from the blonde in front of you, who continued to stuff food in his mouth “jayyy” the slight tease in your whine was impossible to miss as the word left your mouth “lets sleep together tonight” you ask, eyes opened wide and focused on him, leaving him to struggle to understand the meaning behind the question
“what” the blonde in front deadpans, ears in disbelief of what he’s hearing - mind already rushing to the stickiest of ickys
“just hate storms and m’gonna not be able to sleep” you respond and as the words fall from your mouth, his figure visibly relaxes as soon as he hears the nonchalance in your voice in your words - god he has to get his head out of the gutter!
“right-right…uhh yeah- i mean i don’t mind” he rambles, struggling to hide the rising pink in his cheek aswell as the rising boner in his pants. it was going to be so so so hard to behave well when you’d be right next to him, your pretty pussy just a couple inches away, how was he supposed to resist himself
“thanks jay’ make sure not to kick” you giggle before pressing a light kiss to the side of his cheek, continuing to walk off towards the bathroom. he couldn’t describe the feeling in his stomach as he watched you, excitement? guilt? shame? whatever it was, it had to be pushed down until the late night dawned upon the both of you - when he’ll find out how bad he can really be
the sight of you softly snoring in his bed, arms tucked beneath your head as you curled away from the wall, would have been cute if it wasn’t for the raging boner that poked through his boxers. you’d hit the sack quite early leaving jj and his twisted mind alone, jerking off in the shower of all the lewd fantasies stored in his head.
he wouldn’t. he couldn’t. that’s what the blonde repeated in his head as he rest beside you, keeping some distance between the two of you, trying to close his eyes and sleep - hoping his mind could clear before the morning. his large figure slowly relaxed, slowly drifting to sleep. and that’s when he felt it your leg carelessly shifting underneath the covers, grazing against his dick, making it jump.
he was convinced. you were doing it on purpose, you had to be. but when he saw your limp body, pressed against the bed, dead to the world around you, he couldn’t help but groan. what if you were truly so naive that all your actions were done out of pure thoughtlessness, he’d be disgusting- you’d probably never want to speak to him again
but it was getting impossibly hard to ignore your foot dancing around his already hard cock leading a soft groan from him. the call of your name from him falls on deaf ears as you continue to sleep, not aware of the turmoil you’re causing him. ‘god m’going to hell” he whispers to himself as he shifts closer, forehead hovering over yours
he wished he could blame it on something like he’d drunk to much or that he was high out of his mind, but he wasn’t - the only drug that consumed him was the presence of you, clouding his every thought and action. the long strand of blonde that kissed his forehead now grazed against yours as his fingers traced down the length of your body, dipping between your legs, rubbing against your clothed mound.
the heat between your legs was enough to warm him on the unseasonably cold night, thumb stroking against your clit causing you to shift. he panicked for a second, taking your stirring as a sign of you waking up but he was wrong. you were moving because you liked it - he watched as your mouth parted softly, a soft whimper filling the air as you continued to squirm beneath him
it didn’t take long before he slipped your panties off, throwing them to some corner of the room - careful not to wake you. he watched as you writhed at the feel of the cool air breezing against your bare pussy, fingers having a mind of their own as they pushed into you. god you were so tight, he could feel the ache in his pants as he continued to thrust his finger into you. he couldn’t help but watch your eyebrows raise, mouth opening to let out an inaudible moan “m’sorry so so sorry” he heaved out, before adding another finger, watching you hiss at the intrusion.
you were making a mess on his hand and between your legs with each thrust of his and all he could think was how good you were taking it, wondering what noises you’d be making if you were awake - would you grab at his wrist and make him slow down if he went too fast? would you reach down and rub your aching clit?would you whine at him to stop?
he felt a sudden urge, he wanted to kiss you. he wanted to feel your lips against his as he curled his fingers that were wedged deep inside you. he moved even closer, dipping his head down, pressing a sloppy kiss against your lips as he thrust his fingers harshly in you making you all putty in his arms
it was rough the way he pulled out, fingers resting against your thighs but he was desperate, his cock had been painfully poking against the fabric of his shorts waiting for some sort of stimulation. it was bad, it was so so bad but what was worse was that he stopped caring,it was a need to feel your gummy walls sucking you in, to watch your face contort into a mixture of pain and pleasure as he slams into you
you’d understand right? i mean you had to with the way you’d tortured him for so long, how you’d walk around wearing next to nothing or how you’d rub up against him. he remembers wanting nothing more than to bend you over the nearest surface and dick you down like the good little whore you were but how could he, you weren’t a whore - far from it actually, you were his sweet little angel that he wanted to corrupt, the little lamb that the big bad wolf wanted to bite into
he spent every minute trying to savour this moment, slowly pulling of his boxers throwing them next to your panties - making a mental note to take them later. he wished he could’ve been gentle and soft and sweet but he didn’t have it in him that night, he wanted you to feel the ache he’s been feeling.
the whine that left your mouth was loud as the blonde slammed into you, stilling with his movement - soaking in the feel of your velvety walls wrapped around him that left him wanting to paint your insides with his cum.shocked at your still state, deep sleeper he thought- who knows maybe he can have more fun
for a minute he stayed stilled feeling every pulse or clench of your little pussy, he was disgusting! but he didn’t care, what he cared about was how your face would look like when you cum? how you’d look like when you wake and see the pool of white between your legs? that was enough for him to begin drilling his cock into you, the once silent room being filled with his low groans and the sound of skin slapping
“so good f’me… huh?” he breathed out “wanna cum so-fuck so-deep inside you….fill you with all my babies” his pace didn’t falter as you’d tossed against him, body shocked by the harsh and sudden intrusion. his right hand travelled down from the side of your hips to your bright red clit, pinching it softly causing your brows to furrow
“sorry baby…. just needed to do that” he laughed out, head falling down to the dip in your neck, breathing against the skin “fuck-” the blonde could feel his high coming close, he fastens his face getting ready to empty himself inside of you “fuck fuck fuck m’coming” the blonde curses, eyes screwed tightly as he spurts out a fat load inside you, moaning with every slight movement. he watched as you spasmed around him, your own high being provoked by his - he couldn’t miss the way your back slightly arched, he’d bet you were in heaven right now - well atleast he was
following a few sloppy thrusts, he flops against your sleeping body, looking up to see your face, god you looked so innocent! you hadn’t even known the way he’d violated you yet and something in him ached for you to find out, for you to wake up to the feel of his morning wood, throbbing inside of you and feel the sticky pool of cum that formed beneath you. and he couldn’t help but thrust deeper inside of you, chin resting against your head - slowly feeling his eyes close, he’ll deal with the aftermath in the morning but for now he wanted to sleep wedged inside you, sweaty bodies pressed together
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When my mother told me she wished she had gotten a divorce before I was born, I could tell from her tone that this was different from all the times she’d look at me and ask God, like I was God, why he had punished her with me. It wasn’t about trying to make me wish I was a better child, just that I was not a child anymore and she felt she had to warn me not to repeat her life but continue it and perhaps by continuing it, set it right. Once she made me kneel facing the wall and stretch my arms as high as they would go, and watched my little back tremble until I could hold my arms no longer. When she asked me what I’d learned I remember I wanted to scream I hate you but knew somehow it would hurt her more if I screamed I hate myself, I hate myself, so I did, over and over, I knew when you watch a person you love collapse into themselves you want nothing more than to run into the boxing ring, the battleground of them, take all the blows they deal, all the shots they fire into the enemy of their own being. If I could I would without a second thought unravel the knot of my mother’s heart into something like sense, and if it’s true what they say about how when you have a child your heart begins to live outside your body I would undo my life and throw it to her like a rope, like I were a climber at the top of the mountain and she’d left something up there before making her way down and needed to go back for it one more time. If I saw my own heart, helpless and unknowing creature, living outside me, I would also want to tell it to kneel against the wall and raise its arms until it could account for what it had made of my life. In a note she left in my bag when I went to sleepaway camp she said to be my mother was the greatest joy of her life and I knew, even at ten, there were greater joys she had wanted, they lived in her dreams and disappeared when she woke to make my breakfast each morning, and I wanted so badly then to be those dreams, to disappear.
Helplessness’ Child by Kaylee Young-Eun Jeong
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lnfours · 5 months ago
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i could imagine how soft lando is after a fight and maybe you could write something about lando and reader had a lowkey big fight, and lando decided to join her to the shower (GWSJZHHAHZ) and apologize under the shower before finally creating a steamy scene with the reader
ooooh my god. oh my god.
smut (18+ please!)
send in your lando thoughts
the argument was something stupid. a result of exhaustion and frustration on his end. he hasn’t meant to upset you, or yell at you for that matter, but he had. and he felt guilty when you turned on your heels, walking away and leaving him in the kitchen.
you two hadn’t seen much of each other the past week and a half. between his traveling, his training schedule and your own calendar, it felt like you were always just missing each other. it felt like you didn’t get to spend so much time with the other recently, which was a big deal to you beings he’s hardly home to begin with.
you knew he hadn’t really meant to go off, maybe you had caught him at the wrong time. you knew he was tired, wanting nothing more than a simple break. but you couldn’t help it. you missed your boyfriend. plain and simple.
he walked into the bedroom, hoping to find you, but instead heard the sound of the shower running in the bathroom. he cracked open the door, stripping off his shirt.
“lando?”
“hmm?”
“what’re you doing?” you asked, but you knew what he was doing. he wasn’t being very subtle about it.
the shower door opened and he step foot inside with you, curls sticking to his forehead as the water fell onto the two of you, “joining you, is that alright?”
you nodded, letting his hands find your hips.
“i’m sorry,” he mumbled, letting your back hit his chest, lips brushing against the skin of your shoulder, “for yelling and getting short with you. i shouldn’t have yelled.”
you hummed softly, “‘s okay,”
“let me make it up to you.”
his words lost into the skin of your neck and the sound of the shower water pouring down around you. his hands rested on your tummy, holding you against him as you felt his teeth gently nibble at the skin where your neck meets your collarbone.
“how do you plan on making it up to me?”
his hands moved down, fingers dipping between your folds as he teased you. you gasped, head falling back against his shoulder as he smiled down at you, “‘ve got a few ideas.”
“lando,” his name on your tongue sounded heavenly to him.
“yeah, baby,” he said, “tell me what you want. i’m yours.”
you moaned, his teeth gently pulling at your earlobe.
“fuck,” you swallowed, grasping at his forearm. wet from the warm water and his muscles and veins peeking through his perfectly tan skin, “i need you. please,”
he was quick to move his hands to your hips, the two of you finding yourselves situated with your hands on the glass, his one hand on your hip as the other teased himself up and down your slit.
“this what you want, pretty girl? want me to fuck you up against this shower wall?”
“please,” you said. and he would’ve been lying if he said he could deny you like this. spread out and vulnerable, waiting for him to take care of the aching between your thighs that was simply his fault.
“c’mere,” he mumbled, hand wrapping around the base of your throat to pull your head back, your mouth opening in a gasp as he pushed in. no matter how many times he’d have you like this, the stretch and feeling of tightening around him was never not delicious.
“fuck,” he mumbled, slowly moving his hips once you had fully adjusted, “missed you.”
“i missed you too.” you managed to choke out. his hand was still around your throat and as he picked up his movements, the pressure against the points in your neck became greater and greater. your eyes rolled back as he moaned into your ear.
“i love you,” he mumbled, pressing a kiss to the skin below your ear, “so much.”
“i love you too,” you could barely speak, too drunk off of the way his dick was slamming in and out of you. how good it felt to let him have his way with you.
“so good for me,” his free hand traveled, finding your clit with ease as he began running tight circles against it, “come for me, baby. you deserve it.”
you moaned his name, making him pick up the pace just a little more as his hips met yours in a consistent pace. the pace that drove you crazy.
soon the coil in your lower belly was threatening to snap, “‘m so close, lan.”
“me too, baby,” he said, “gonna come for me? come all over my dick, hmm?”
nothing could compete with his dirty talk and he knew it. watching the way your body convulsed against him, your moans and the way you tightened around him sending him over the edge.
he came with you, moaning into your ear as you tried catching your breath. chest rising and falling as he pulled you back from the shower wall. he carefully slipped out of you, letting you turn around before he placed a kiss on your lips.
between kisses he mumbled against your lips, “how about we get cleaned up and take this to the bed, hm?”
you nodded, hands finding his curls, “please.”
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pellucid-constellations · 7 months ago
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Hi so I have a couple ideas for your drabble! Reader and Cassian trying to hide the black eye Cass accidentally gave her during training from Azriel or Azriel being jealous of the readers book boyfriend(s)
Pairing: Azriel x Reader
Word count: ~700
Warnings: Injury
a/n: Yayy this was so cute and fun to write :) I did your first idea!
____________________________________________
“Holy shit, I’m dead,” Cassian cursed, his hand resting on your back as you hunched over in the training ring. “Shit, shit, shit.” 
You groaned, holding your hand up to your eye in a futile attempt to relieve some of the pain. “I’m fine by the way,” you grumbled, slowly rising to catch the panicked gaze of your friend. “It’s fine, Cass. It’ll be nothing in a day or so.” 
“Y/n, you’ve been mated for a month.” 
His elbow to your head must have made you delirious. You furrowed your brows and immediately regretted the action. “Yes?” 
“Y/n,” Cassian repeated. “A month. 30 days. Azriel is going to pummel me into the ground when he sees you. You already have a bruise forming.” 
“He won't!” you brushed him off, rising on shaking legs. “He was the one to suggest that I train with you. Getting black eyes comes with the territory. It’s like a battle scar. Very impressive.” 
The General bent down to inspect your eye further, his expression pinched in worry. “Gods, I did a number on you. I’m sorry. Azriel is going to kill me.” 
You sighed, the pity within you growing greater than the pain. “Well, then Azriel won’t find out, will he?” 
~~
Your plan was not going well. 
You’d ignored every call down the bond and spent most of the day in the library. But then you realized the library had many dark crevices where shadows could linger and give away your secrets, so then you spent the rest of the day in a park. In direct sunlight. 
The longer you spent away from Azriel, the faster your eye could heal. You’d just glamour it, but that would most certainly be worse. Azriel could scent a glamour from a mile away, and then he’d be more angry at the lie. 
If you rode out the rest of the day, alone and dismissing every call from your mate, things would go more smoothly. At least that’s what you told yourself as you slammed a sturdy wall down in response to your mate’s gentle tug at the bond. 
Poor Cassian, with his rough and tumble face all sad and worried. 
You had to hide this for him. 
“So you’ve been avoiding me in favor of sunbathing?” 
A screech left your lips involuntarily at the sound of the Shadowsinger materialzing at your side. You quickly rolled over on the blanket you’d called home for the past few hours, burying your face in your arm. 
That was a completely normal response. 
“Um, hi,” you greeted, words muffled in your elbow. “I was just taking the day.” 
“Taking the day?” he asked. 
“Yeah.” 
You felt a shadow overtaking your body, the Illyrian closing in on you. “Odd, considering you told me the list of things you had planned today just this morning. None of which included sunbathing in a park. Or avoiding me.” 
“I’m not avoiding you!” you stressed. 
This looked ridiculous, you were sure. 
The sound of leather bending met your ears, and scarred hands lingered on your arm. “Are you okay?” 
To quote a close friend—shit. 
You couldn’t continue to hide when he sounded like that—all sweet and concerned. 
You needed to get your emotions in check. 
“I’m okay,” you mumbled, but speaking the words into your blanket felt so insincere. 
You had to stay strong. 
“Are you angry with me?” 
Your resolve didn’t just crack. It was decimated and then ground into dust on the ground. Azriel ran a hand from your arm up to the back of your head and you were a goner. 
“You have to promise not to get mad, okay?” you almost whined, guilt eating away at you. 
“Why would I be mad, angel?” Azriel posed, clear confusion lacing his tone. 
“Just—promise.” 
A beat of silence. The hand on your head tucked your hair behind your ear, but you refused to move until his confirmation came. 
“Okay, I promise.” 
You slid your face out from the crook of your elbow, wincing in anticipation as your eyes adjusted to the light and Azriel’s expression went from one of confusion, to panic, to rage. 
“Who—” he began, but you sat up quickly and rushed your own explanation.
“It was an accident!” 
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occamstfs · 18 days ago
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What You Really Want
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Milo mouths off about a man dating his long time crush before immediately learning the lesson that he should be less trusting of strange voices promising to fulfill his desires
Pretty standard straight to gay himbo/jockification! It will also be my final story for some time I believe, so I do hope you enjoy! -Occam
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“It’s no fair that they literally have it all.” Like many a ‘nice guy’ Milo has spent an inordinate amount of time skulking social media and disparaging more physically gifted men as he stumbles across them. The root of his despair is not difficult to ascertain, his eyes burning with envy make quite clear the inner monologue of ‘girls always date assholes.’ He sneers as he comes across the most recent post of his friend and crush, Juliet. The jealous man of course knows next to nothing about the character of James, the jock-type now dating her, but judging by the gleaming smirk and the bulky arms of a killer hanging from his shoulders, the judgemental dweeb has more than enough evidence to speculate.
Delving into his memories, Milo’s face burns with embarrassment as he recalls mentioning his crush to Juliet, ‘Oh!’ her bright eyes shift uncomfortably and her cheeks begin to blush enough to match the pink tint she threw on this morning. Milo’s fist clenches as she almost giggles in her discomfort, ‘sorry Milo I guess- Well, I guess I just thought you were gay?’ After this Milo played it cool, he thinks. Hand scratching the back of his head as he asserts his straight identity and the two go on to have a meal far more quiet and awkward than usual. When new-boyfriend James comes to pick up Juliet, Milo forces a smile before staring daggers at his back as the pair walk away. 
This brings us to the present hate scrolling session in which Milo is more than absorbed. Lips curl into a sneer as he traces the impossible to ignore curves of this must-be dullard’s defined body. Milo scoffs as he sees the litany of women that must make up the man’s dating history. “Bet they won’t even last a week, ha! I mean judging by how much the douche spends in the gym I bet he’s just using her as a beard anyway.”
With this final rather homophobic assertion, the nerd’s phone flashes before going dark, “What the-” before he has to determine whatever caused this, he goes stiff as a strange voice resounds through his head. ‘Tired of all the big boys getting what they want, hmm?’ Immediately concerned he’s lost his mind, Milo gets to powering back on his phone to call for help. ‘Now now, Milo. Do not worry your little head. I am here to help. Would you not like the chance to be just like them?’ Just like them. Envy burns through his veins greater than anything. Sensing this immediately, whatever this voice is seizes upon his clearly fragile psyche, its laughter steely and alien, ‘Ah ha ha. I thought so.’
Dropping his phone once more, Milo tries to drill the voice, “Wh- what are you exactly. Are you a dem- hm, an angel?” The voice answers almost before he even finishes the thought, ‘It matters not what I am. All that matters are your desires. Now. Do you wish to be all you desire, all this James embodies? All that he is in your head.” Miles gulps and almost starts drooling at the idea, just like James. Women at his fingertips whenever he wants, a body sculpted by the gods while keeping a far better mind than that oaf could ever afford. With next to no hesitation or forethought, Milo nods and the world goes dark.
When he awakens the poorly mannered man finds it’s the next day. His phone rests in his hand and when opened he finds it zoomed in on a picture of James’ meaty bicep. Milo rolls his eyes and tosses his phone aside before going to stand. Making it halfway up he grunts in pain as he only then discovers morning wood more pressing and turgid than he’s ever encountered. Falling back down he clutches at the pain in his crotch from his cock being forcibly yanked by his underwear. Hands now grasping it he gasps as he finds it filling them far more than it has any right to. 
Well now, while they’re already down there he might as well have some fun right? After briefly struggling to get his waistband over his swollen package his mouth falls open in shock as he’s finally able to appraise the almost unrecognizable cock hanging from his crotch. It’s like none he’s seen before, not that he generally observes dicks of course. Far more impressive than he imagined a dick could be. His fingertips can scarcely meet his palm when he tries to grasp it, and as he begins rubbing it it feels leagues more sensitive than it has before now, as if nerve endings are multiplying. Looking to his awaiting phone he sees the photo of James and what’s her name as he begins masturbating outright.
Seeing a bulge in James’ strained pants he grunts as he returns to stare at his own suddenly substantial cock. More like him. The already thicker rod strains as he reflexively humps into his hand, forcing his grip wider as it expands to simply need more room. The new veins painting the length of his nascent ten inch dick surge higher up its length as he swears he can see them pulse and bulge with each racing heartbeat. Beneath his thrusting hands, bouncing as his hips continue to forcefully thrust with more strength than he has, his balls similarly grow heavier, larger as they send hormones flowing through him enough to metamorphosize and, more immediately, cause pre to stream and coat his fingers. 
Milo leans his head back as he is bursting with a need for release greater than he can understand. He shifts his jaw as it twinges with the pleasure of growth, widening and strengthening into one fit for titan. Below his newly defined chin, his neck thickens and moans grow deeper as an Adam's apple bulges out of his throat. Hearing his voice echo deeper throughout his bedroom, his heady pleasure comes to a head as he is struck with the bizarre urge to lick the pre off his fingers. Before he’s able to acquire or express shock and disgust, his eyes blast open and he is again staring at the image of James, more like- and he blows his load.
The moment of release may as well have shut him down once more, pleasure overloads him like a flashbang as every inch of his body feels at once. Drool drips from his plumper lips as his mind is fried and his hips continue to thrust without any input or awareness, sending stains across his wall and splattering into his darker hair as it begins to pull shorter and tint darker. Eyebrows thicken and cover more of his forehead as his brow hangs lower over his eyes staining brown and growing duller.
His whole form tenses as he finally achieves release, staring at the image of his, uh, competition. Arms flex as his hands crack wider, fingers stretch longer, skin grows rougher. For the first time in his life definition appears on his arms, biceps and triceps compete for which can increase faster, which can catch more eyes, which can rival those alluring arms of James. Beneath shoulders packing on weight are pits that darken with curls now thicker, a deeper brown nearing black as the forest strives to prevent any light from breaking the canopy. Similarly they moisten with the masculine heady musk that they are perfectly designed to disseminate, powerful enough to allure any twink towards his dick, or uh, huh.
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Milo moans as this seemingly intrusive thought makes itself at home in his morphing psyche. Barely returning to sentience enough to realize the stray gay thought, he arches his back and stretches as if he were waking up. Mindlessly he wipes the cum staining his larger hands on the new dark treasure trail as it itches and slowly inches up from pubes unshaved. Feeling the hint of an Adonis belt he sits up with a shock, the feeling of something he has long envied bringing back his awareness.
Despite the obvious differences it takes far too long for him to be aware of, to truly notice what has become of him. He struggles to make sense of the effort it takes to move his new larger limbs. He grabs at his new hair and sucks drool through his teeth as he tries to understand how it’s changed texture and color so totally, did he dye it and forget or what? The gears in his mind slowly turn as his fingers move to scratch an itch under his arms, struggling through the dank jungle of curls. Thoughtlessly he brings his sweat-wet fingers to his nose and grimaces. “Fuck man, I smell like an, uh, like a, unnh-” he moans quietly as he’s unable to even finish the sentence, instead an image of James forces its way to the front of his mind and two now-malnourished brain cells spark together and strain to form a thought.
“Oh fuck I’m turning into a imbe-, an uh imbekle? Ugh, an uh- a dumb jock.” Milo bites his lips and flexes an arm to try and assuage his nerves, to get his attention focused on anything but his anxieties. Fortunately to this end, seeing his bulging biceps he feels his larger cock begin to stir. Some semblance of rationality knows ceding to his wanting package is probably what led to this encroaching fog over his mind. His skin begins to prickle as all-around it grows more sensitive. Beyond these skin deep sensations it also seems as if darker hairs are beginning to spread out wherever his follicles will allow.
Seeing hair beginning to prickle his chest and blanket his legs his mind produces images of hairy men he has leered at through the years. His neck twitches as whatever dregs of the pathetic skirtchaser he once was rise up and try to combat his new predilections. He’s straight, he’s always been straight. Right? His mouth goes dry as he tries to remember ever having dated a woman in the past. Barring that, only just able to recall that something is happening to him, only just able to remember that he is transforming into some alien self, Milo tries to produce an image of what he used to look like. And he cannot.
His mouth falls open as it often does whenever he struggles to produce a thought, making it almost his default state. Mouth-breathing mouth ajar he fully experiences the thick air of his bedroom as it fills with his new musk. The room around him begins to dissolve and reform into surroundings that reinforce who he is now, that prove this is who he has always been. Clean pressed laundry dirty and shift into unwashed gym clothes that help cloud the room with his stink. Posters of whatever movies and video games he enjoys corrupt into images celebrating the impressive male form, all distinctly stained from the years of hanging on Milo’s bedroom walls. He hears clanking outside of his bedroom as bookshelves collapse and reform into weights heavier than he would be able to lift.
Milo stumbles to his larger feet and ignores the hefty weight of his balls and cock bobbing in the air as he drags himself out of his bedroom to find a mirror. He leaves sweaty footprints larger than any shoes he owns on the tile of the bathroom as he bumbles in. Leaning over the sink his lips quiver as he sees a razor clogged with hair darker than he feels he should have. Sooner than the doubts arrive they vacate as a thick, stubbled beard rapidly bursts onto his face. Looking up he smirks as he sees a thick mustache surges over his upper lip, looking just like the ones he appreciates,  just like he has always been into. His eye twitches and he grunts as his hair retracts once more into something far more intentional and stylish. At the same time pecs suddenly bulge larger and hang lower as Milo leans heavier over the bathroom sink. 
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His eyes glaze over as complex thoughts once more become too elusive in the face of his rising lusts. Muscles bulge larger as his back and legs creak, stretching him taller as thighs and shoulders widen and continue putting on mass. Feet spread like fins on the floor as his hands widen and sweatily slide on the ceramic sink. His mouth continues to water as he inspects all these increasingly masculine changes and his cock continues to throb. Milo bites his lip as new sensations arise from his cock once more, this time the change is apparent as his foreskin regrows, making his cock look even thicker as its head grows hooded and he struggles not to immediately break into masturbation at the powerful image of his own seductive form.
Milo’s barely functioning mind struggles to argue for any reason to not just return to the immeasurable delights of gratifying his all-encompassing urges. He stays his hands for a moment before the greatest horror yet rears its head. A monologue begins in his mind that is not his own, that cannot be his own. Dull laughter echoes through his increasingly vacant mind as a voice even slower and deeper than that which sounds from his new vocal chords, “Yooo broo come onnnnn. Give up, give in. This is what you wanted, ‘s what we wanted huhuhuh.”
He feels a pressure in his balls as they almost churn with the otherworldly need that seemingly always flows through him. He can’t help but imagine the men he’s going to bed with his new endowment, how many cocks he’s going to take in his new powerful ass. Drool trickles from his lips through the dense black stubble that coats his face denser with each second, with each breath. Spit continues down the length of his more defined face before dripping onto weighty, similarly furred pecs. His heavier hands slowly creep towards the hardening cock standing tall and long from the jungle of pubes. Before he’s able to assist his thrusting hips however, his lusty haze is interrupted by his phone chiming. His mind immediately thinks it must be James which fills him with conflicting emotions of rage and giddiness. “Ohh bro maybe he’s inviting us over. It’s been toooo long since we fucked huhuh-”
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Milo pointedly tries to ignore his hairier, bulkier reflection as he stumbles out of the bathroom to check his phone. Unfortunately he catches a glimpse which makes it all the more difficult to ignore the throbbing weight dripping, almost pouring, pre onto the floor. Despite it all he stands strong, quieting this other voice as it urgently tries to convince him to give in before he’s able to pick up his phone. In a final act of resistance, or perhaps impotence, he has the lofty idea of calling for help before his mind goes completely blank and, seeing the notification, he instinctually goes to his messages to find who texted him. It’s Juliet! 
First his heart flutters before he’s absolutely confused at the sensation. She’s just his bestie? Weird. He shakes off whatever that was and gets on to reading the message, “heyy girlie- which of these do you want me to post? Oh ya and lmao, are you and james cool if I do the last one?” At the mention of James his pulse again races and there are butterflies in his stomach far more powerful than whatever bizarre feelings he had but moments ago. No time to dwell, Milo starts swiping through the images sent. They’re a photoset of their little group outing to a halloween party last week, the trio, Milo, James and Jules dressed up as a group, as X-men! Respectively dressed as Wolverine, Cyclops and Jean Grey.
He smirks as he starts chubbing up again thinking of how easily he was able to pass as the hairy beast. His eyes then return to see James’ bubble butt in trademark spandex, which only makes it harder to not lose control then and there, moaning as he imagines playing with that ass. Holding to whatever well of willpower remains within him Milo holds strong and keeps his hands above waist level. Finally he gets to the specific image Juliet mentioned, one of him and James messily making out on the dance floor. James yanks at the hairy Milo’s hair, visor half hanging off as Milo reciprocates by shoving his hand into James’ pants. Fuck that’s hot.
Without even touching his needy cock, without any pleading from the new voice in his head, without a single chance to hold back. Simply from seeing the steamy image of him and James, Milo’s mind is overrun with memories and desires of the new man he is. The man he ever was and always will be. And for the second time today, but not the last, he loses control. Cum splatters against his phone as his mind goes blank anew with rushing pleasure. Painting himself once more with his most-used utensil he laughs dumbly as he realizes how swiftly he just came. Almost with pathetic haste, though now he’s quite unfamiliar with any sense of shame. The voice that only just wormed its way into his head spills from his mouth as it fully and forevermore wrests control as the true Milo.
“Huhuhuh guess I should work on my hair trigger,” He grunts as he looks at his phone and texts back some variation of ‘girl that’s porn you can’t post that!!!’ he turns his mind where it goes more often than anywhere in his new life. He wonders what James is doing and immediately texts him. Waiting for a reply Milo heads off to the gym to get a pump in before presumably going to meet him, not worrying about cleaning up or covering his scent. The gym’s for smelling like a man right? He certainly wouldn’t mind if everyone else followed his lead huhuh. Milo bites his lip trying to ignore his hardening cock as he makes his way out of the apartment clad in too-tight, stained gym clothes. 
Before he even makes it out the complex he gets a text from James and promptly changes course. Immediately Milo’s racing down the street to his lover’s apartment. Cock already snaking down his shorts and creating a stain at its nadir, Milo hopes he can keep his needy cock at bay until he makes it. Thinking of the alternative work out he’s to enjoy in bed with James, Milo struggles to not moan obscenely as he waddles as quickly as he can into the lobby of James’ building. Heart racing with excitement he can’t wait to see James in person. Jittery with nerves, it feels like he’s going to meet the man for the first time. Hah! Milo promptly ignores the idea and starts to get some stretching in before their session. Trying to practice mindfulness with a mind thicker than mud he quickly finds himself possessed with memories of their countless times fucking in the past. Easy enough as the pair have been doing so for years. Still nerves assail him as his cock continues to strain his shorts. As the elevator doors click open he smirks as he was able to make it this far without blowing his third load of the day. His cock throbs with anticipation for its release soon to come, and impatiently awaits each and every similar session to follow.
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