#God I love Columbo

[nnaeus]

Cop-Schlop sucks, Columbo is super fucking based though, if not all cops are bastards (dumb statement) he's the one shining non bastard.. loves his wife, his dog, his life, and busts rich guys rather than the homeless 💪

[columboscreens]

[skiploom]

[crispy-mushroom]

I've been watching Columbo

[toonbly]

im gonna rip apart the mystery genre with my teeth (said so so lovingly)

[camelspit]

I don’t know who the little detective guy u keep putting on my dash is but he seems cool. may the wings of fandom lift u like icarus 👍

losing my mind.. it is columbo from the 70s-90s hit show columbo played by peter falk.. he is everything to me

[fingertipsmp3]

Like, moving to a big city in September 2020 only to be locked in a house with 4 strangers and basically never see the light of day for nine months was 1) a terrible experience overall and 2) not a bad setup for a horror series of some sort, but also I am nostalgic for a few things from that time

[nonamehorse]

It should be though, I love weird little autistic man that just go and solve crimes with their gay little "sidekick"

I want to meat one in real life and suck their.... no I shan't say

my favorite thing about the mystery genre is that we all accept the concept of "world famous detective" without hesitation even though that is absolutely not a real category of celebrity

[yeti-zeus]

See, the thing about the Barbie movie is it didn't show us the part after she becomes human where she immediately gets hit in the head with a suit of armor, buys an ugly ass jacket, and is given her first cigarette by Columbo within hours of being born and therefore it simply pales in comparison to Wings of Desire

[mfalsomni]

as much as I love my friend and GM, I am TERRIFIED of what he will do in our next session

[columboscreens]

[cozylittleartblog]

do it

hey wait a minute, i've seen this one before

[skiploom]

[hotvintagepoll]

getting ads for Tubi on tumblr now. Do they not know they can pay me to advertise for them. Tubi I want to talk about your free streaming collection so badly. Tubi let me mention your constantly rotating selection of classics beautifully curated to show off a range of film styles, legacies, and cinematic brilliance. Tubi do they know they can watch The Adventures of Robin Hood on you. Do they know that? Do they love you like I do? Let me advertise send me that sweet influencer money oh my god get me a Tubi hat and I’ll wear it while I unbox my free, instantly accessible easily streamed vintage classic movies (also Columbo). Tubi please return my calls I am so affordable and Criterion hasn’t bought me yet Tubi please—

[hogoflight]

HOUGH I NEED a fic with TOA Apollo (god of truth, prophecy, medicine, hunting) having a stint as a Private Investigator in a very overdramatic, eccentrically “him” way with Meg McCaffery as his partner (and muscle. And person with connections to the Triumvirate’s whole crime deal) being assigned stuff by the police being rude and nasty who clearly just want him to incriminate someone specific / close the case / cover up their shady stuff, so he goofs around, casually breaks reality and mocks old detective shows and Film Noir stuff to mess with them and generally waste their time and money BUT comes to the actual conclusion with incredible detail and accuracy so that they can’t COMPLAIN or argue against him AND THEN is very purposefully empathetic, gentle and efficient with cases for other people who are looking for and need help (in a very Columbo way. ACTUALLY OML INSTEAD OF REFERENCING HIS WIFE APOLLO CONSTANTLY REFERS TO HIS HUSBAND HYACINTHUS AND IT’S VERY UNCLEAR WHETHER HE’S ALIVE OR NOT (TOA paradox of Hyacinthus tuxedo)!)

it works really well! He would:

have good knowledge of analysing a crime scene bc medicine,

find people and put himself in suspects’ shoes bc hunting,

interrogate very very easily bc truth (again mostly he just messes with the actual culprit),

have hunches about where they might be bc prophecy,

be dramatic enough to loudly announce twists,

knows plenty of interesting people to “know a guy” (other gods, his children old and young, exes),

be beautiful enough and slutty enough (with love) to sustain a romantic subplot / inevitable tension (divorced) with “guys he knows” that he must dramatically call in despite their “complicated past” because he has “no other choice”. I could go on.

and Meg constantly resisting his dramatics and as the plot convenient way to resolve any emotional drama with Apollo (“but Meg, what if he hates me!” “Shut up. Do it.” “Okay! 😊”) and stop him going off on tangents if he drifts TOO far. It’s great!

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

req'd by @gods-no-longer-tread-here

look i rewatch those two movies at least once a month

text: I love Gay Southern Columbo