#GoatDaddy

[bil-daddy]

That looks nothing like me!

(Okay fine. It does look a little like me.)

(Alright. A lot like me.)

@bil-daddy @uziraphale All we were doing was trying to help her. Maybe next time we help her not in our goat forms??

[29pageshomestuckeveryday]

Homestuck, page 2,221

Equius: Talk to friend/enemy.

Author commentary:

One funny thing about this conversation, judging by the ease and familiarity with which Equius slides right into his pattern of vicious rebuke toward this dumb clown, is that it kind of reads as a form of erotic roleplay both are willingly participating in, but neither of them realize that's what's going on. There's some irony that Equius engages in a sort of daily roleplay routine with Gamzee while admonishing Nepeta for her attempts to get him to roleplay with her in a more "frivolous" way. She probably doesn't have the slightest idea he does this every day.

Equius thrashes between ordering people what to do, and then when they do it, becoming dissatisfied and realizing that he really wants them to be doing what he wants them to do under their own volition, and also for them to tell HIM what to do, whether they're of a higher or lower caste. This is a mess, and is probably why these two talk so much. It's an endlessly circular fetish, and it never resolves itself. Timeline-wise, this conversation locates them after Gamzee has entered the game. The red team has a good jump on the blue team, already three players deep while the first blue (Equius) hasn't entered yet. Not a super important detail, but it's worth tracking this stuff in the background somewhat, because the order of entry tells us certain things, like who had to work with (or put up with) whom as a server player. Karkat deals with Terezi (we saw how that went), Terezi deals with Gamzee (notable when you know their long-range arc), Gamzee deals with Tavros (thank god for offscreen conversations, let's just leave it at that), Tavros deals with Vriska (Oh No), and Vriska deals with Kanaya (mom to the rescue).

Maybe this is the first conversation they've ever had where they openly acknowledge that what they're doing is roleplaying? Let's call it a breakthrough. It's also telling that in Gamzee's honest attempt to RP, he goes straight for the goatdaddy issues. A bit sad really. Is this conversation over yet? Oh, there's one more page.

Equius has a quirk with a fair amount to consider. As the Sagittarius, and therefore centaur-themed troll, the "cent" part of centaur makes 100 his magic number and percent signs his favored symbol. He replaces the phoneme "loo" in words with "100," even when the original word isn't spelled that way, like "b100." And he swaps in % signs for x's, but more confusingly, also for x phonemes, so "bricks" becomes "bri%." He does this even for sounds that are just close to x, like "distinction" becoming "distin%ion." And sometimes he replaces an entire word semantically related to the % symbol, like "cross." I ended up really milking this quirk, mostly because I knew that only swapping instances of x would not yield a lot of changes and so would feel kind of insubstantial.

[tigerlyla-of-metinna]

More tastefully censored yet spicy Eskel photoshoot! All edits are done by me in photoshop. Pic taken by @alphagravy. Mod used:  D*cks out for Temeria by Bububull. Link: https://witcherscreenshotsdump.tumblr.com/post/665661317897699328/dcks-out

[imarriedyourwifegoatman]

The Main 6 Drinking HCs

Had some fun scribbling these out.

Enjoy!

-Mod Pita

(Please send requests!!)

Word Count: 615

~~~~~~

Asra:

A pretty average drinking, tbh

He doesn’t drink often, bars not being his crowd, but can hold his alcohol well

He likes to hear you drunkenly rant to him about your day, cheeks flushed, only to kiss you halfway through, making you even redder than before

Makes sure you get home safe

He thinks it’s really funny and cute when you challenge him to a drinking contest, like okay, but I’m not carrying you home after.

Prefers fruity drinks over beer and wine

Nadia:

Tipsy Lady

She likes the champagne, and finds popping the cork very amusing

You honestly wouldn’t know she’s drunk if she wasn’t so openly honest.

“You wanna know what I think?” “What is it, Nadi?” “Valerius is a little bitch baby.” *snerk*

And a smooch smooch here and a smooch smooch there

If you two are at a bar, she won’t let you leave her side

Will 100% defend your honor if some douchebag tries to hit on you

Soft, drunken cuddles when you guys get back to the palace

The best a disguising hangovers

Julian:

Flamboyant lightweight

You’re gonna wanna record him

Can and has went from acting out an entire Shakespeare play standing on a table to crying in the corner booth in 15 seconds flat

Once tried to serenade you with a song he wrote himself (key word, tried)

Gets so cute. Doesn’t believe the two of you are together because you’re just so beautiful and amazing how could we be together oh man I’m so lucky

His face gets beet red, seeing him is honestly a religious experience

Muriel:

Does alcohol even affect him?

Apparently not

Doesn’t exactly like bars

Says he’s only there to make sure you get home safe, only that, nothing else.

Okay fine, maybe he likes the attention you give him after you’ve had a few drinks, and seeing your cheeks so red and cute isn’t such a bad thing either

When you’ve calmed down and had some of the water he brings you, you thank him for coming out with you, and lay your head on his shoulder, starting to snooze off

It’s his turn to turn red now

Okay, maybe going to bars isn’t such a bad thing as long as you’re there too

Portia:

Fucking Tank

Will challenge you to a drinking contest purely because she knows she will win

Honestly will drink anyone and everyone under the table, including you. No mercy.

Gets all sassy when she drinks, the Mazelinka in her coming out

Says “Beer me” too. Many. Fucking. Times.

But you gladly tolerate it because you love her

On those cozy nights where the two of you decide to just stay at home, get a few beers, and cuddle, you swear there is no better place in the world to be.

Smooches

You guys wake up in the morning with killer headaches, but Portia always says it’s worth it if she gets to spend a lovely night with you.

Lucio:

Will brag to you about how well he can hold his liquor, but is hammered by his fourth drink

He and Julian should make a lightweights club

Clingy, jealous drunk

Doesn’t leave your side the whole time, giving the stink eye to any man who dares look at you

Tries to impress you by doing stupid stuff

“Hey! Hey -hic- (Y/N)! Look at me!” cue disaster

At his drunkest, he gets all subby and sexual, it’s hilarious

Is out like a light the second you get home, you have to make sure he doesn’t suffocate with his he lands face down into his pillow

The next day is spent in bed, not wanting to get up and deal with the hangovers

~~~~~~

[togblogs]

Happy day late fathers day! <3

I drew this on the day but I didn't post it anywhere-

Tbh it looked waaay better on my PC XP

[bax16]

Assgore Dreemboat

[moondrunkart]

Eskel comes back from his hunt with a dripping monster head in hand, covered completely in blood. It takes him less than two minutes to notice that there is only a stale smell of goat to go with his horse. Also,  that there are no happy little beats of excited goat trying to greet him. The lead Li'l Bleater is usually kept on when he's off on a hunt is ripped. His kid is gone. Eskel drops the monster head.

The search he starts for Li'l Bleater is maybe a little frantic, but this is his goat. There aren't even words possible to describe her. The barely there scent trail of her leads through two towns and then to an abrupt stop outside some shitty village where it tapers off near the butchers. That-that is-The witcher tries to process this and ends up yelling, terrifying half the people around him.

Li'l Bleater is gone and the witcher has no idea what to do about that.

---Rest on ao3

[axgaskarths]

goatdaddy: megan! so great hanging out today. always a fun time 

[jckbarakat]

whiteclawdaddy: “ALEX TAKE THESE.” 📸: goatdaddy

[krmpus]

i should be at work today but i’m not because sciatica. so keep me entertained? here, and on w/ire (goatdaddy) is always up for sexting

[samael-bellamorte]

👀 ever indulged goatdaddy’s furry ASSthetic

The Ask Meme - Accepting

Samael sighed, rubbing a hand over his face and refused to look up again.

“No, absolutely not. I respect that he has his… interests, but there are some I just.... don’t partake in.”

The magician rolled his eyes then,  “And don’t call him daddy, he hasn’t worked hard enough for that title.”

[sera-the-apprentice]

100/10 gimme goatdaddy

Since the devs aren’t gonna give me Lucio content I had to make my own  (`-´ )

New Lucio outfit!

[care-for-a-cup-of-tea-blog]

// Me: *asks boyfriend for an username for Asgore’s undernet*

BF: mn

BF: goatdaddy

BF: Goaddy

BF: daddy

BF: Goatiest Goat

BF: Big Daddy

BF: Big Goaty

Me: no.  

[imarriedyourwifegoatman]

The Main 6 with an S/O who’s Embarrassed of their Acne Scars

Got the idea for this while working on a short, Portia drabble. Enjoy!

-Mod Pita

(Please send requests!!!)

~~~~~~

Asra:

So Asra has known you the longest out of all our lovely loves, so he knows about your scars and how you feel about them

Has reassured you many times that they’re beautiful

Comforts you when you’re feeling ashamed of them

It’s honestly hard to feel embarrassed about them when he’s around

If he catches you looking sadly at them in the mirror, he picks you up, and hurls you onto the bed

Congratulations it’s cuddly comfort time

Kisses each and every scar as you lie down together

We love our magic boy and his loving reassurance

Nadia:

She was at first confused when you confided in her your insecurities, but quickly switched to a more understanding mode

Let’s be honest, our girl Nadi has had clear skin since she was a child so she doesn’t really understand the struggle

Like Asra, she comforts you whenever noticing that you’re feeling down about it, but in a more elegant way

Makes offhandedly comments about how beautiful you are while not so subtly smiling your way

You know what she’s doing, she’s very obvious about it, but you like the assurance so you’re not about to tell her to stop

Will buy you all the best make up and concealer if that’s what you want

Making sure her s/o feels loved? In her palace? It’s more likely than you think

Julian:

Our boy Julian is a Doctor Man ™, so he knows acne scars are completely natural

He tells you this all the time

But he understands when you have trouble believing him

Honestly is the sweetest when it comes to comforting

Holds you face in his hands as he stares intensely at you

He’s quiet as he scans your face before nodding

“Yup just as I thought. You’re perfect.”

Will massage your back where other scars are

Let this boy shower you with affection and you’ll never feel self conscious again

Muriel:

Lovely Mountain Man Muriel has plenty scars of his own, so he gets your insecurities

Unless you have known each other for a long time, it’s unlikely he’ll show you comfort in a physical way

He’s not very talkative, but that just makes the times he says something sweet that much sweeter

We all know Muriel would never judge you for something you can, and you now that too, but it doesn’t stop the worry that spreads through you every time you’re close to his face

If you guys have known each other for a while, and he’s comfortable with contact between you two, you bet he’ll give random touches to your scars

Let me paint you a picture; it’s nighttime, and you guys are getting ready to go to bed. You’re laying in his chest and he lifts your head towards him. Softly, he brings a hand up and lightly caresses your cheeks, a look of adoration across his face

He’s the best at wordless reassurance

Portia:

Like Muriel, has plenty of her own flaws, so that paired with her fluffy personality makes her the bets at comforting you

She probably finds out about your embarrassment of them the first time y’all are getting heated.

She already knows about the scars you have on your face, and has assured you she thinks they’re beautiful, but she still feels you tense up when she goes to take off your shirt.

That’s when you confide in her how you feel it’s unnatural and not pretty how you have acne and scars on your back and chest

Portia made sure that’s every touch she gave you that night was infused with all the love she could muster up

Multiple nights are spent worshiping each other’s bodies, because Portia does have her share of stretch marks she feels self conscious about.

Just mutual love and appreciation all around

Lucio:

Straight up didn’t even notice them until you pointed them out

Like Nadia, he will take you out and get you all the best make up money can buy

Will crack a few jokes about it in attempt to make you feel better

He’s trying, but he really doesn’t get it

He adores you, and he tells you this ever day in hopes you’ll feel better

Can’t have your self doubt jacking his style

Jk jk

But during baths and shower together, he makes sure to worship your body and scars

He will always think you’re beautiful, regardless of what you might consider flaws

~~~~~~

*self projects like a b o s s*

[baphomet-art]

In light of recent comments, I’ve moved all my nsfw over to @goatdaddy-art 

[thesoundofnat]

I have reached a dark phase called goatdaddy so maybe I should stop

occupation: stalking @insane-sociopath’s blog with no shame 🖖🏻