#Goat you’re a dumbass

[kr1s-png]

PB x Goat Shenanigans

I’m having way too much fun working with Cherry🍒and at the same time i’m nervous for what we are coming up with LOL👉👈

Anyway, you should check out her Tiktok, if you somehow don’t follow her yet!!

[allpromarlo]

idk if it’s just me but the southern german childhood experience is being violated by a witch at a faschingsumzug and having lifelong trauma because of it

[jks1uv]

𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑂𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝐸𝑥𝑐𝑒𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 ; mark grayson / invincible

summary: in every universe, mark grayson turns into his father and seals his destiny as a true viltrumite. what if things are different this time?

pairing: fem!reader x mark grayson.

trope: childhood best friends to lovers + fate gives love a chance.

genre: fluff + angst + slow-burn romance + hurt / comfort + some comedy.

warnings‼️: crude language + spoilers for s3 (mark’s variants) + amber & eve never get w mark but r goated wingwomen & friends for reader + william, rick & rex r goated wingmen for mark + 2 jealous!mark moments + the tiniest moment of tension + multiverse talk + a mention of the chicago incident feat. scott / powerplex + REX LIVES 🗣️‼️🔥🔥 + a short & sweet kiss scene.

word count: 9,966.

random disclaimerrr: when eve said “you don’t deserve this” 😞 like he always just out here suffering 💔 kate, immortal, cecil & scott pmo so bad like bruh can y’all just pls stfu pls 🙏🏽 I CANNOT BELIEVE MY GOAT REX IS DEAD LIKE BRUH HOW 😭😞💔 but the 2 ppl majority of the fandom hates get their happy ending… mkay… happy reading! ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ ♡ © 2025 @jks1uv

Mark Grayson has always liked you.

It was the first day of school, 2nd grade homeroom. The first day of school was always nerve wracking but this time was different.

His desk was next to you per the seating chart and you were the last kid to come in.

You were wearing a black t-shirt with some white bows on it and sky blue jeans with pink flowers embroidered on the pockets. White twinkle toes with pink and purple rhinestones.

Your hair was styled in 2 ponytails with cute bows on the bands.

Your eyes bright and a shy smile on your lips.

“Hi.” You bashfully said to him.

“Hi.” He said back in a daze.

His seven year old heart was fluttering and he was as red as a tomato when he realized it was you! You were the girl whose empty desk he was seated next to!

You always shared homeroom, if not, recess with him in elementary school.

Then came middle school, where you had at least 2 classes with him.

High school was a bit easier as you saw him 3-4 times a day, and that’s not including clubs or other extracurricular activities.

He spent 11 years like that. Seeing you in class, in the hallways, at lunch or after school.

Your relationship with him never wavered. Your character was still the same even after new chapters and opportunities for development.

He’s endured some insane shit, but he’s so happy the one constant in his life remained consistent.

“You still have a crush on her?!”

“Shut up, William. Or do you want the whole world to know.” Mark chides.

William snorts like it’s the most obvious thing in the world (it is). “The whole world already knows, it’s just your dumbass that’s somehow oblivious.”

“Give the lover boy a break.” Amber lightly teases.

Mark sighs and rubs his face with his hands, trying to hide the redness creeping up on him without his consent.

“Is that her?” Rick points towards Mark’s dream girl.

But what he forgot to mention was the living explosion (literally) walking alongside you.

“What’s he doing here?” Eve’s surprised Rex decided to step foot on college campus willingly.

William subtly side-eyes Mark and makes a desperate attempt to hold in his laughter by squeezing Rick’s hand.

Mark slowly stands, a confused look on his face.

“I’ll… go find out.” He says it like a question, like he’s unsure if that’s what he should do.

Amber and Eve share a knowing look.

“You’re funny.” You say as you catch your breath.

Rex shrugs nonchalantly and smirks. “Yeah, I get that a lot.”

You’re shaking your head and are about to say something when you see Mark in front of you.

“Mark.” Your eyes crinkle as you smile.

You go in for your usual hug and Mark accepts it.

Unbeknownst to you that he’s making wide eyes among other facial expressions in a desperate attempt to make contact with the other male.

The hug lasts for a second longer and you ignore the butterflies that swarm your belly, deducing that he probably just wanted to hug you a bit longer.

No big deal you think as you’re screaming inside the longer you feel Mark’s arms around your waist.

When you meet Mark’s face, he allows himself to give you a tight-lipped smile.

“Mark, this is-”

“Rex! Heyy, how’s it going?” He chuckles nervously and rubs the back of his neck.

Your eyebrows furrow and you tilt your head a bit. “Yeah… wait, you guys know each other?”

Rex is enthusiast with his reply. “Fuck yeah! This is my best bro.”

He slaps Mark’s back with a confident grin and the “bro” laughs awkwardly.

You know, one of those ‘ha ha ha’ type laughs.

“Okay. So, um, Mark?”

“Yeah?” Aaand his voice cracks.

You politely ignore it but Mark wants to die inside.

“I was wondering if you were still down to go to the mall?”

Mark knows you’re attentive and take your friendships seriously, which isn’t old news. But he can’t help feeling special that’s you remembered a thought from a couple days prior.

“Only if you’ll buy me boba.”

Mark never lets you buy him anything if he can help it, and that’s how it’s always been.

You insist, he’ll deny; but that doesn’t mean his sentiment isn’t nice.

You blink and softly smile at his bargain. “Deal.”

Rex hums thoughtfully, a hand at his chin and his gaze on the sky.

“Can I join? I don’t have anything going onnn~” He suggests in a sing-song manner.

“No, you can’t!” Mark suddenly yells.

You look at Mark with furrowed brows. “Mark, don’t be rude.”

“Yeah, Mark, don’t be rude.” Rex repeats with a sly expression.

Mark deeply exhales through his nose and puts on a fake smile. “Rex, can I talk to you? Alone.”

“Sure!”

He follows Mark about 15 steps away from you.

You decide to sit down on a bench nearby and watch some TikTok to pass the time.

“Hey, so, um- quick question: what the hell are you doing here?”

Rex scoffs. “What, I can’t come visit my bro?”

Mark quirks an eyebrow and crosses his arms, unimpressed.

Rex puts his hands up in surrender. “Fine, fine. I’ll be honest. I was here to talk to you about Cecil,” He looks over at you and sighs dramatically.

“But?” Mark presses when he sees Rex eyeing you.

“I see a hot girl and I can’t help myself, you know?” He smirks knowing he’ll rile Mark up and get the exact reaction he wants.

Mark immediately gets in his line of sight, making Rex back up a bit from the fast and unforgiving wind.

“Woah, man! A little warning next time before you almost blow me away?”

Mark ignores him. “Don’t call her that.”

The truth is, Rex came to campus with a purpose.

Mark never talks about you, but Eve may have let your name slip into conversation a few times.

Rex may be aloof and jerk-ish but he’ll be serious when it’s time.

He’s seen the way Mark’s face changed every time Eve mentioned you; his head would tilt slightly, he’d have a small, unnoticeable smile on his lips.

Rex suspected a crush and he was right! Of course he was, look at the way he’s being defensive of you.

There was just one problem, he didn’t know how you looked. He asked Eve and she was suspicious, but when he revealed his own suspicions, she indulged him.

So, the two of them made a plan with Amber, William and Rick; Operation: Get Mark To Man Up and Admit His Feelings Before You Slip Away.

- FLASHBACK -

“She’s wearing a PINK t-shirt with ripped blue jeans. Oh, and a black backpack.” William directs.

“Pink shirt, black backpack, ripped blue jeans. Got it.”

“PINK as in the brand, not the color.” Amber reminds.

“Wait, what? So what color is the shirt?”

“I’m pretty sure it’s dark green..? And the logo is an even darker shade. ” Eve remembers.

Rex is so unimpressed.

“So, let me get this straight; she’s wearing a shirt from the brand PINK, but it’s just dark green?”

“I’d say you’re on the right track.” Rick chimes.

“This shit is ridiculous. I mean, seriously. Why can’t you girls just wear stuff that warrant normal descriptions?”

“Shut up, Rex.” Amber and Eve say simultaneously.

- FLASH FORWARD -

“Alright, her unwanted, meddling knight in shining armor.”

Mark is about to defend himself against that true baseless allegation when William and Rick find him.

“What’re we gossiping about?”

There’s a glint in William’s eyes, the kind you don’t miss if you’re paying attention to the very specific lilt in his tone.

“Oh, I was just telling Marky boy here,”

Mark side-eyes Rex at the ridiculous nickname.

“How he’s Y/n’s unwanted, meddling knight in shining armor.”

William claps his hands together. “That’s actually an accurate assessment.”

Mark’s offended. “Whose side are you on, anyway?”

Rick clears his throat as a guise to hide the very subtle laugh itching his throat.

“Sassy.” William says impressed in his best friends comeback skills.

Rex gets a phone call and excuses himself, giving William a crisp high-five and Rick a chest bump.

“Go get your Juliet, Romeo!” He cheers.

William shakes his head as he guffaws at the man.

“Dude, he's hilarious. How come you've never introduced him to us before?”

“Do I really have to answer that?”

William rolls his eyes at him.

“Anyways. When are you gonna tell Y/n you love her, again?”

“William!” Mark whines.

Rick smiles and expands his thinking.

“He meant to say, you should tell her soon. Before she's with someone else and leaves you to collect the pieces of your broken heart.”

“Not gonna lie, that's exactly what he needs to hear right now.”

Mark can't lie either. “Yeah. You kinda ate with that.”

William cringes and Rick winces with embarrassment.

“Hey! So, uhh, never say that again. Hope this helps.” William makes a finger heart.

“Wha- but I used the phrase correctly! Oh, come on guys, seriously?”

- MEANWHILE, WITH AMBER & EVE -

Amber and Eve thought it’d be a good idea to have a quick chat with you while you were waiting on Mark.

They casually brought up relationships and basically implied that ‘men ain’t shit’, but you disagree with that attitude.

“I dunno... Mark’s a good guy.”

“Oh yeah, for sure! Mark’s one of the good ones.”

Eve nods along to Amber’s statement.

She reminisced on her fair share with toxic relationships. She deliberately left out how it was with Rex but that’s okay, you don’t need to know that…

“Are you and Mark..?”

You feel your cheeks warm at the thought but you’d be lying if you deny your feelings for him.

“No.” You state with your head down and hands in your lap, playing with a ripped thread on your jeans.

“Huh. That’s a shame.” Eve comments.

That gets your attention.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s just that you and Mark seem…”

“Ideal.” Amber completes smoothly.

Your wide eyes and mouth agape give you away.

“You've never thought about him like that?”

You have, but how do you admit this to Mark’s coworker and friend without it getting back to him?

You think Amber and Eve are cool, they’re nice to you; but they're more Mark’s friends.

To you, they're friends of a friend.

Amber senses your hesitation and sat down next to you.

“We won’t tell anyone, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

Eve locks her lips with an imaginary key and throws it away.

That elicits a small laugh out of you, making you feel a bit more confident to share your secret.

You look over and see Mark and Rex still talking, now joined by William and Rick.

You contemplate for a moment before admitting it.

“Yeah.” You breathe out.

Eve hums in thought. “Let me guess, you don’t want to say anything in case it’ll fuck up the friendship?”

You gasp lightly at her spot-on description. “How’d you know?!”

She just shrugs nonchalantly and Amber bites her tongue to point out how obvious the entire situation is.

“I do like him, a lot... but what if he doesn’t feel the same? I would've ruined something special for something selfish and it would stay with me forever.”

You rant to the 2 girls you’re closest with and somehow, it feels right. You dismiss the thought of them turning out like the average mean girls in a teenage rom-com.

“But what if he does like you back?” Eve proposes.

“Then he’ll have to make the first move.” You shrug obviously.

“I know that’s right.”

You feel giddy from Amber’s approval.

She’s always been the type to keep it short and sweet but once you get her talking? She’ll always keep it real.

“We gotta go but we’ll see you later?”

Eve's already planning on the next hangout because she likes you enough to wanna help. She doesn’t like a lot of people so consider yourself special!

“Oh! Uh- yeah! Sure, that works with me.”

“It’s settled then.”

“See ya, Y/n.”

Coincidentally, you see the boys leave, leaving Mark to come to you.

“Shall we?”

“We shall.”

“Just let me try it.” Mark whines.

You shook your head and stood your ground. “It'll be gone in under ten seconds.”

He gasps dramatically, a hand to the heart like a lady of the opera. “You don't have faith in me?! I am a superhero-”

“I'm sure that's what they say.”

Your sarcasm isn’t foreign but he grows quiet at the remark.

It just slipped out so easily, without care or regard. You immediately try to make it right.

“I’m sorry, Mark.”

“No, no. It’s okay. You didn’t mean it like that.”

Ever the sweetheart but you refuse.

“No, it isn’t.” You stop walking. “I was careless with what I said and it’s not right.”

He looks at you with appreciation and gives you a smile. “Thank you, Y/n. It feels nice to be seen as I am.”

That both warms and saddens your heart.

You know how much he’s been through and even though you’ll never truly understand, you know he can still count on you. You’ll be there for him and that’s gotta mean something.

“Of course.”

You and Mark spend the next hour chatting and idly checking out things in the stores.

You wander into the dress and gown section and are completely in awe of the collection. Every color you can think of in every style: silky, thigh cut, halter top, strapless.

Your hands run through the material and you’re reminded of the spring formal coming up soon.

Not everyone gets the chance of going but you have a friend who extended the courtesy of inviting you and a plus one.

You recall the last time you went to a dance: your senior year of high school's prom. It was memorable. You were a part of a small group that went together; consisting of your friends.

You took photos with Mark and danced with him for a bit but not like anything you wished. There's nothing romantic about screaming club anthem lyrics while getting twerked on but since it was Mark's ass, you didn’t complain.

That was the first and last time he accepted drinks from William, by the way.

You chuckle quietly to yourself in memory of that glorious night when Mark comes up behind you.

"You ready to go or do you wanna try some of them on?"

You take another look at the gorgeous dresses and think.

Mark's hoping you say yes.

He won't admit it anytime soon and despite him already thinking you're the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen, prom night solidified that for him.

You had him starstruck.

His hear stuttered, adrenaline rushed through his veins and conjured up a swarm of butterflies in his stomach.

SImply put, every feeling and action that describes a man in awe of a pretty lady was an accurate depiction of him.

“Nah, maybe some other time.” You decide.

Mark nods, looking forward to the future dress tryouts. “Okay.”

Later, you have dinner with Mark, Oliver and Debbie.

Mark flew out and brought home some authentic pasta and garlic bread from Italy.

You rolled your eyes playfully and claimed he was being “extra” but reevaluated your statement when you thought about it.

If you could move that fast, you'd go to another country to have their finest food as well.

“It's so good to have you, honey.”

Debbie was always so nice to you, it made you feel happy and proud of yourself knowing someone's mom wholeheartedly accepts your presence in their kids life.

“It's good to be here.”

“Are you gonna stay the night?!” The purple little boy asked full of hope.

You didn't want to let him down but you had no choice.

“I'm sorry, Oliver, but not tonight.” You ruffle his hair and give him an apologetic smile.

You know he's bummed out when he doesn't sound that infectious laugh and tell you you're messing up his hair.

“Oh.”

You feel Mark's gaze on you and when you look up, he offers a sympathetic smile.

“I can stay until it's time for you to sleep.”

You know you've got him, it's an offer he can't refuse.

He's all smiles now and hugs you by the waist, his head laying on your chest.

You smile and hug him back, your head laying on his.

Mark cleans the table and Oliver takes out the trash while you help Debbie with the dishes.

“It doesn't matter how many times I say “no”, does it?”

You hum and shake your head. “Nope.”

You make small talk while you dry after she scrubs and rinses. About college, your plans after college, Mark.

“What about him?” You wonder.

“I mean, how has be been since...”

You see a look of helplessness on her face.

Debbie may be his mother but even she is not immune to the conflict of secrecy in her son's life.

You instantly feel bad.

Mark always tells you everything but to have his own mom ask you things about her son makes the situation complex.

You turn your head over your shoulder and see Mark playing a video game with his baby brother.

When Mark told you about Nolan, what happened to them on Thraxa and the events that unfolded afterwards, you didn't know how to respond.

As if hearing Nolan reveal his plans for Earth and call Debbie a “pet” wasn't heartbreaking enough, you were there with Debbie when Mark was brutally assaulted by his own father.

Then you hear of Nolan's second family he while the first one was still trying to keep it together and deal with the devastating aftermath of the biggest betrayal.

You almost cried when Mark broke down about Angstrom Levy hurting Debbie and Oliver.

You were out of the country on a field trip with your classmates when that happened. Devastated was an understatement for how you felt to hear both Mark and Debbie in the hospital from William.

Mark shamefully admitted to killing Angstrom, thinking that would sever the bond between you two. He expected you to be afraid of him, no matter how awful he’d feel about doing that to you.

It was the total opposite, you embraced him and let him cry on your shoulder. You let him feel everything but you also let him feel your hand in his.

You looked him in the eyes and told him that he did what he had to do and if killing Angstrom was the solution, then so be it.

“Mark told me everything. From seeing Mr. Grayson—”

You see a flash of hurt in Debbie's eyes at the mention of his name and almost forget that before he was known as Omni-Man, he was Mr. Grayson. He was Mark's dad.

“—again and about Oliver. Up until Angstrom and how the last thing he did was hurt you and Oliver.”

Debbie drys her hands and looks out of the window above the sink.

You can tell she’s disassociating. Her eyes seem so far away and crestfallen.

You don’t know if she’s getting much sleep but you also can’t imagine getting any if you were her.

You put a hand on her shoulder and she’s visibly shaken out of her thoughts.

“He’s gonna be okay, and so are you.”

She looks at you like you’ve lit up a candle at the end of a very dark tunnel.

Debbie leans in for a hug, eliciting a small sigh when you strengthen the embrace a little.

You figured she should feel taken care of for once.

“Thank you.”

You hear her sincerity and make a mental note to talk about this with Mark later on.

Oliver is tired out from having a “good playdate” with you and his older brother.

You tuck him in for the night per his request and can't help but feel the warmth from taking care of him touch your heart.

He's a growing boy but despite the many changes one goes through due to that constant stage of life, his feelings for you don't change.

Mark loves how much Oliver loves you. He loves seeing 2 of the most important people in his life get along so well, secretly admiring the way you've grown a soft spot in his mother's heart, too.

“They grow up so fast.” Mark attempts to humor.

You hum and try your best not to cry dwell on the bittersweetness of that phrase.

“Yeah.”

You're sitting on Mark's bed, looking fondly at the one of many drawings the kid made for you.

You softly exhale and bring up the conversation you had earlier with Debbie.

“Mark, I have something I want to talk to you about.”

He looks at you knowingly. “I know.”

Your eyes widen a bit at that revelation. “You do?”

He nods, a pursed smile on his face. “I have super hearing, remember?”

How did you forget that?

You close your eyes and exhale sharply, feeling silly for forgetting that power of his. “Right, duh.”

You don’t want to push the conversation if he’s not feeling it but you want to know if you did the right thing.

“I... didn’t overstep… right?”

“Oh, no. No, you didn’t.”

He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “I… haven’t had the best time talking to her about the things I say to you.”

You nod in understanding.

“I felt bad when she asked you how I’m doing. She should be able to ask me that.”

He’s guilt-stricken and it makes you feel dejected.

“Mark.” You put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I know it’s hard talking to your mom about your inner turmoil but you’re all she has.”

Who does Debbie go to when she wants to discuss the matters of her heart? Who’ll listen when she wants someone to talk to?

“You give her the strength to carry on so let her give you some peace of mind, hm?”

Mark’s eyes shine with a strong fondness for you, his mind wiped clean of all things difficult and heart ten times lighter.

You’ve always understood him, whether he explains himself or not. You could always just know.

Your heart and emotional intelligence are perhaps his favorite things about you.

“You okay?” You ask, worried you’ve overstepped again.

“Never been better.” He promises.

A soft smile graces his lips as he leans in to hug you.

You accept it with an equal gentle expression and when you feel his arms wrap around your middle, you feel good.

Mark is invulnerable but not when it comes to the war between his mind and heart, that’s when you step in. And when you do, there’s always a resolution found in great clarity.

You feel his heartbeat above yours and unconsciously, they sync. His breathing evens out with yours.

It feels intimate, this hug.

You’ve hugged him a million times before but none of them have felt quite like this.

A heavy weight on his shoulders has evaporated and you can feel his gratitude.

“I don’t know how to thank you.” He murmurs.

You tilt your head back a bit so he can see you. “Then don’t.” You shrug, like it’s the most obvious answer.

He chuckles lightly and blinks at you, a tight-lipped smile on his face.

You’re suddenly hyper-aware of his arms loosening around you and replacing the warmth with his hands on your hips.

You subconsciously gulp and watch his eyes flicker towards your eyes, lips then back to your eyes.

You don’t know if it’s your mind playing tricks on you, but you swear he moves his head a little closer to you; just enough to barely touch noses.

Your stomach is in a frenzy and your hands feel clammy.

Is this really happening?

But then, like a switch being flipped off; he gingerly clears his throat and backs away.

You blink, catching yourself in a daze and he gets up to put on a movie.

He acts like he wasn’t just about to kiss you, as if that chemistry was just a figment of your imagination.

You don’t have the guts to say anything, to ask the obvious. So, you also pretend that you two weren’t just about to fulfill your biggest ‘what if?’ scenario.

“Oh, wow… that’s crazy.”

“I’m sorry, Y/n.”

It was nice to hear sympathies from the only people who you could afford to talk about this with. They’re also the only people who wouldn’t go and spread the telltale truth of the most embarrassing moment of your life.

“I can’t believe he fumbled this badly.” Amber facepalms herself in disbelief.

She sighs in exasperation and plops down on your bed with an arm covering her eyes.

Eve doesn’t move from her position; leaning on your wall with her arms crossed and her face in thought.

“What if he doesn’t like me like that?” You wonder aloud.

Amber peeks an eye out from under her elbow and Eve shakes her head.

“No, no, no. Trust me, that’s not it.”

“Don’t seem so sure.” You grumble as you pick at your nails to distract yourself from the heartache.

Eve sits down beside you and thinks about her words carefully. “Mark… well, I won’t defend him; he is kinda stupid.”

“Kinda?” Amber argues.

That makes you grin a bit.

“But he’s also your best friend, and you’re his. Maybe he doesn’t know how he feels but he does know that you’re not worth the risk of something he’s unsure will ever happen.”

Somehow, she put things into a perspective you’ve never thought about before.

“I never thought about it like that.”

You feel Amber sit up.

“That’s because it’s a confusing situation. Seeing both sides of the story might help you make some sense, give you consolation.”

You nod, already having potential answers to your unanswered questions. If not real answers, you’ll settle for theories. It’s still something.

“Thank you, guys.”

Amber winks at you. “Anytime.”

“Of course. We're rooting for you both.”

You shyly smile when Eve nudges your shoulder.

“So," She claps her hands together. “what should we do to commence our very first sleepover? Omegle?”

Amber is concerned for the first time at Eve’s expense.

“Umm...” You pout your lips to the side.

“I don't find the idea of accidentally getting flashed the most... thrilling.” Ambers grimaces.

“Yeah.” You nod.

Eve has a sly look on her face, one that says her proposition comes with an entertaining twist.

“Trust me, I have an idea.”

“Okay, that was pretty fun.” Amber concedes.

You laugh softly to yourself, remembering the events from the previous night.

The 3 of you decide to go out for lunch, finding the night an excellent moment for bonding.

“What was fun?”

Mark pulls a seat up at the table you're occupying.

“Mark? How'd you know we were here?” You query.

Mark looks just as confused as you but before he could answer, Eve does it for him.

“I invited him.”

“Oh. Okay.”

You don't have a problem, it's just that you thought this was gonna be “girl time” as you like to call these moments.

It would've been nice to know, at least.

Amber attempts to start up a conversation but little did you know; this conversation was a part of Eve's “idea” she mentioned the night prior.

“We went on Omegle last night.”

Mark's eyebrows raise in surprise. “Did anything happen?”

You understand the underlying message to be, “Were you victims to any unsolicited sexual advance?” and find it kind of sweet that Mark cares enough to have that be his first train of thought.

“Yeah, actually.” Eve notes as she takes a bite of her burger.

“Y/n's got herself a loverboy.”

You choke on your drink. Exploding into a fit of coughs, you hope it kills you.

Mark is quick to pat your back and try to aid in helping.

When you catch your breath, you look over at him awkwardly and thank him.

“Don't mention it.” He humbly said.

You make it a personal mission to never bring it up. Ever.

Amber continues to fuel the fire.

“Yeahhh.” She sighs. “He's Russian and was all, like, ‘Your eyes are like the ocean and I am a merman.’.” She puts on her best Russian accent and giggles when she nails it.

“Mm!” Eve makes a noise of enthusiasm, adding on to the punchline. “And then he said, ‘They are so deep, I can drown in them.’.”

“The fuck?” Mark grunts under his breath. “But mermen can swim.”

Honestly, he thought it was fucking stupid. Even if this guy was a “merman”, he'd be able to swim. Drowning is totally out of the question.

“Yeah, but it was the thought that counts.” Amber spoke before eating a fry.

“It was pretty corny.” Eve seemingly agrees with Mark.

“See?! I knew I wasn't the only one.” Mark nods to himself.

“But...”

His smile drops.

“I gotta admit, it was kind of romantic.”

Mark can't believe this.

Is romance really dead? Aren't punchlines supposed to make sense?

He knows it's only romantic because the guy's Russian. Okay, so he has an accent. So what? That should pardon his inadequacy of flirting?

“You guys only ate it up because he has an accent.”

Mark narrows his eyes as he takes a curly fry from your plate.

Amber and Eve side eye each other with mischief as they see you enter the ring.

“I thought it was kind of sweet, you know? At least he tried.” You counter.

Mark tilts his head, clearly bewildered. “You mean to say that you actually liked that?”

You don’t like his accusatory tone. “It wasn’t that bad, Mark.”

He rolls his eyes and begs to differ. “Wasn’t that bad- it made no sense! He definitely pulled that shit out of Google’s top thirty best flirty lines.” He puts air quotes around best.

“Oh, would you look at that? I actually have to go do that... thing.” Eve slowly rises from her seat.

“Yeah, me too.” Amber flashes a sweet smile.

They’re gone before you can impose.

“They really just left.” You say to no one.

Mark is still somehow going. “I just… I dunno.” He says, defeated.

“Mark, it wasn’t that deep. He liked my eyes and said some line that made me feel nice. That’s all.”

He nods like he understands but he really doesn’t.

“He’s no Mr. Darcy.” You settle as you take a sip of your milkshake.

Mark smiles at that and you’re confused.

“Why’re you smiling?”

“I knew it! I knew you couldn’t possible swoon over that ridiculous, nonsensical one-liner.”

You laugh incredulously. “Seriously, what’s your problem?”

He raises his hands in surrender. “I just knew he couldn’t be your type after that. Sure, you like them romantic but with genuine thought.”

He says that so confidently, with such attention, it makes you feel nicer than the Russian’s compliment. He makes you feel seen with that keen observation.

You nod to yourself, lowkey impressed.

“Mkay.” You simply say.

His gaze flickers towards you at the seemingly confusing, neutral response.

“What.”

“What, what?”

“You said that like you’re not convinced.”

You deeply exhale, not wanting to argue anymore. “Mkay.”

His eyes widen a bit and he snaps at you like he’s just discovered the phrase: ‘eureka!’.

“That, right there. That’s what I mean.”

You rub at your head as if you’ve got a headache but you doubt you won’t get one soon.

“Elaborate.”

You’re sticking with as little words as possible if it means to get to the point.

“Are you mad at me?” He asks with worry coating his tone.

You shake your head, unsure of what’s happening. “I just don’t know what’s gotten into you today. You’re in this strange mood to argue.”

He blinks.

You’re right.

Arguments are a rare occurrence in this relationship.

“We never argue.” He realizes regretfully.

Your eyes trail up his form and you see the uncomfortableness etched onto his outline.

“I’m sorry-”

“Sorry-”

There’s a pause, one that melts the lingering awkwardness into friendliness.

You see the hints of a smile creep up on him and instinctually, there’s one in yours.

“You first.”

Ever the gentleman.

“Sorry for making it awkward.” Your fingers interlock with each other and you give him an apologetic look.

Mark immediately shakes his head. “No, you didn’t make anything awkward… It was me. I got-”

He doesn’t speak for a few seconds, trying to find another way out of this as two thirds of his sentence has already been put out.

“You got..?”

He puts on a tight-lipped smile but it looks pained. “I just wanna say that I’m sorry for getting defensive for no reason.”

He thinks that was a good excuse for his detour but you’re smart.

“Jealous.” You say firmly.

“Huh?” He squeaks and immediately clears his throat.

“You got jealous.” You shrug your shoulders and move the whip cream in your milkshake around with the straw.

He scoffs with the intention of obscurity. “That- I- What? Pfft, jealous. Who, me?! Yeah, right.”

His stuttering erupts a snort from you, an “I told you so” fresh on the tip of your tongue.

He wanted to spout declarations of how incorrect you are but he couldn’t. The cat had his tongue.

“Whatever.” He bites with little heat.

He crosses his arms over his chest and appears to look unaffected by your ability to see through him.

“Mkay.” You hum to tease him.

Your best friend groans and you giggle at him slouching down in his seat, his hands covering his face and in turn; a sheepish grin.

You’re in your home when your TV bears awful news.

“Breaking news: intruders that look like multiple Invincibles are wreaking havoc across the globe.”

As soon as you hear that, a loud boom is heard from across the city and sends shockwaves to where you are.

“We urge you to stay in your homes and hide. Do not make contact, I repeat; don’t engage with them.”

You’re scared.

How the hell are you supposed to stay hidden in your home when there’s the start of destruction visible outside?

How can they tell you to stay inside when there’s a chance you can die in there?

It’s not like the variants aren’t gonna come inside. Who’d stop them from hurling your place of residence like a football?

Despite all of those thoughts, you stay inside.

You hide in your living room. You sigh to yourself as you hide inside a spare closet, leaving a sliver of space open to breathe.

You turn your phone’s ringer off but feel the vibrations in your pocket. You look to see who it could be and feel so much relief flood your stomach when it’s Mark.

“Mark?” You say shakily.

“Y/n? Oh, thank god. Where are you?”

Your eyes water but you keep them at bay. No point in crying over spilled milk.

“I’m in the spare closet of the living room, what’s going on?”

He starts to explain when the call abruptly cuts.

So fucking cliche you think as you the see the dead battery sign.

The sound of a window opening makes you heave out a sigh of relief.

You get out and are about to hug him but the first thing you notice when you open the door is his face. Er, the lack thereof.

“Is… this a new costume?” You ask wearily.

You didn’t know Mark had a black mask installed. It covered his whole head and the lens was turquoise blue instead of white.

He just stares at you, unflinching and scarily still.

You gulp as the realization sets in your stomach.

This isn’t the Mark of your world. This isn’t the Invincible you recognize.

The masked stranger can sense your irregular heartbeat and hear the small panicked breaths that well up in your chest.

He slowly stalks towards you; like a predator to their prey, except there’s nothing dangerous about his stance. He doesn’t radiate harm or anger and he puts his hands up, as if to show you he won’t harm you.

For your own sake, you don’t believe that. You can’t believe that’s what he wants.

You’re frozen, wide eyes filled to the brim with fear and shock.

You grip your phone tight in your hands, ready to turn it into a weapon if you must.

He’s interrupted when another one shows up.

This one has a black and yellow suit with a yellow cape.

Your eyes dart to his figure and you’re sure this one’s gonna do the honors.

“You’re alive.” He says to himself.

His eyes are covered with white lenses but you know he’s looking at you.

His hands ball up into fists and he walks to you with an urgency in his stride.

You instinctually back up and hit a wall when the masked variant gets in between you both.

“She’s scared.”

The tone in his voice almost makes you think he cares. Almost.

“Get out of my way.” The bright-caped intruder basically spat his face.

“And let youuu have all the fun? I don’t think so!”

What the fuck?

You see what looks like Mark… in a mohawk.

His lips spread into a smirk, a cocky tone in his words.

Your nails press into your arm to prevent you from sputtering out a giggle.

How are you supposed to take him seriously when he’s willingly sporting a mohawk? Right.

If you knew there was going to come a time where your home is used as some sort of Invincible convention, you would’ve moved out a long time ago.

“You’re here.”

This one scares you a little.

His demeanor may be softer but his eyes, they’re wild with a fire furling around his pupils.

What makes the fear prick at your heart is the fact that he’s wearing the Viltrumite uniform.

Wherever he came from, he became his father.

That fact chills your bones and you think, how could that happen? Why did that happen?

His wild eyes are wide with surprise and there’s the ghost of a relieved smile on his face.

Very quickly have you gone from 0 to 100.

There are 2 seemingly decent Invincibles and 2 Invincibles that give off evil vibes.

What’s better news is that they all have some sort of fascination with you.

Awesome! Fantastic, even!

Your adrenaline has taken a back seat but you’re still unnerved by the destruction just outside your neighborhood.

You’ve never wished for a quicker death as this cat and mouse game is becoming all too much. The anticipation will kill you if they don’t.

“Alright,” Mohawk Mark yawns. “Enough dickin’ around.”

The 4 variants surround you, encasing you in an otherwise unbreakable square.

“You’re coming with us.” Decides the caped crusader.

He puts his hand out to grab you but is thrown through a wall by an unstoppable force.

It feels a bit blurry after that.

You feel yourself being lifted and moving at an alarming speed, your body lurching forward and side to side by the breeze taking you.

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” He murmurs.

He hugs you close to his chest, a hand cradling the back of your head and the other clutching your back protectively.

“M-Mark?”

You find your voice amongst the dizziness clouding your head.

He holds your head and tilts it towards him, kissing the crown and meeting your eyes.

“Yeah, it’s me. You’re okay, you’ll be fine. Just stay here.”

You hold his wrists and blink, looking around you to find yourself with Debbie and her boyfriend, Paul.

“Please.”

Mark’s desperation appeals to you. His voice cracks with an urgency for your life. One that is begging you to listen, and you do.

“Okay.” You agree.

He nods and kisses you once again, a sweet promise pressed against your forehead.

You may have had the wind knocked out of you but that doesn’t mean you’re unaware.

Oh yeah, that kiss sobers you up real quick.

Your eyes are wide and cheeks are warm; you’re flushed and hope he doesn’t detect the jump in your heart rate because of his tenderness for you.

“Be careful.” You blurt out.

Mark looks back at you with a smirk on his face.

“I will.”

He kept his promise for the most part.

“Ow.”

“Maybe don’t move around a lot?”

“…Sorry.”

He winces as you treat his facial wounds.

Mark got pretty banged up; his left eye was swollen and purple from Conquests fists. He has similar shades of bruising on his face and a nasty cut on the bridge of his nose, another on the corner of his lip.

His arms and leg are almost fully healed.

It’s been a grueling 2 weeks.

Oliver helps out as much as he can.

Eve and the rest of the heroes are helping piece the cities back together but no matter how much they help rebuild, the atrocities committed won’t be forgotten.

Conquest was here on a personal mission and almost leveled the state because of it and roughed up Oliver pretty badly.

“I don’t know what to do.”

You hear him, you hear the things he wants to say and the things he doesn’t say out loud.

You feel so bad, so awful for him. He’s still a kid trying his hardest, doing his best.

Why can’t that be enough?

“It isn’t fair.” You respond.

His gaze turns to you.

“You do your best and when you think it’s over, the worst is still yet to come.”

Your fingers lightly touch the one of many bruises on his cheek, his eyes close at the contact.

“I can’t imagine how many times you’ve had pieces of you broken for us but it’s a sacrifice that unfortunately comes with the job.”

It hurt your heart, saying the second part.

Hard truths are a pill you’ll always find difficult to give.

He sharply inhales and the tears he tried so hard holding, come pouring down. Soft sobs and wails plague his throat.

His head falls atop your chest and his hands wrap around your middle, clinging to your shirt.

Your arms wrap around his shoulders and you do your best to ground him, to be his anchor.

His mental state is unimaginable, the thought of him slipping away has been a reoccurring nightmare for you but you push through. You have to.

“So many people died.”

The death toll worldwide was into the hundreds of thousands. That was the doing of the variants but Mark was inadvertently responsible, too.

It breaks your heart at how unfair this all is.

A Viltrumite’s personal vendetta against Mark resulted in such catastrophe.

Scott -also known as Powerplex- fried his only family left and somehow thinks that is also Mark’s fault.

As if the Chicago Incident wasn’t enough, there was almost a Chicago Incident Part 2 had it not been for Eve.

“You can’t blame yourself Angstrom’s doing.” You try to reason.

Mark shakes his head and gets up.

“I thought I killed him, but I should’ve been sure. I should’ve finished the job.”

Mark palms at his wet eyes, sniffling lightly as he calms down.

You don’t know what to do, you don’t know what to say.

You don’t want him to wallow in this pain by himself but you also don’t want to say something wrong.

“You should leave.” His cold tone and neutral face really sells it.

You’re confused. “What? I’m sorry, was it something I said? Or did?”

You’ve never seen him like this and are worried the wretched day you’ve been imagining is finally here.

“No. I just want you to go.”

You watch his fists bunch up the material of his joggers on his knees and the veins protruding from his hands.

“I…”

You want to say something, you want to stay for him but you can’t. You know it’d only make things worse.

So you just nod and whisper a meek, “Okay.”.

Mark still isn’t looking at you when you make your way to the door. His face still expressionless, calculated, distant.

Your fingers reach for the handle when you hear him.

“Y/n?”

It’s embarrassing how quick hope flashes in your eyes at the sound of him saying your name.

You try to suppress the obvious reaction as much as possible.

“Yeah?”

It still seeps through your voice but you’re human.

Your emotions are a part of you, even if they end up being a helping hand to your disappointment.

You don’t see the pool of guilt swirl around in his almost annoyed eyes but maybe it’s for the better.

He stares at you and feels bad but after everything that’s happened, is it worth keeping you in his life?

He wants to tell you so badly what’s making him push you away.

Sure, William is his best friend but you’re so much more. You’re a part of him, you’re his soulmate.

Mark wants nothing more than to see you happy but he ultimately decides that it’s nothing compared to seeing you alive.

“Can you close my door all the way?” He begrudgingly says.

The average person would blame him for pushing you away, him getting your hopes up only to crush them so inadvertently cruelly.

But you only chastise yourself.

You want him to know that despite people like Scott or Angstrom; who put the blame on wrong people for their circumstantial demise, there's people like you and Debbie.

He has a support system ready to recharge him but maybe you were overcharging him?

You go to sleep in tears, crying silently to yourself over how fucked life is.

Mark doesn't sleep the whole night, knowing he can hear your heart break.

It's been a slow week.

You don't talk to anyone or do things you used to; only getting up to go to class and eat, do some occasional grocery shopping.

You make an excuse for Amber and Eve when they text you to meet up and watch their caller ID's flash across your phone before it rings all the way through.

Mark hasn't spoken to you at all. No call, no text.

Despite him quitting school, you used to see him all the time on campus. Whether it be for you or William or Rick.

Now, you don't meet with anyone.

“She doesn't wanna talk to me or Amber anymore.” Eve voiced one day.

"Nor us." Rick pointed towards him and William.

“Something’s wrong. I'm worried about her.” Amber adds as she comes across the last message you sent in the group chat with her and Eve.

hey guys, just going through the flu rn. i’m fine tho! no worries :)

But of course they worried. They're your friends and that's what friends do.

Which is exactly what they said when they arrived at your doorstep, so you can't afford another excuse.

Your duo sits on your bed, trying to come up with a solution to best help you out.

“He’s closed off and maybe that was expected, but it's been a week.” Amber says.

“Yeah, you'd think he'd open up by now.”

You sigh pitifully and look out your window and down the street.

You’re a 10 minute drive and he’s a 1 minute flight away, yet nobody is willing to close that distance.

“It should be him, though.” Eve says.

“Hm?” You hum absentmindedly.

“Mark should be the one to come talk to you, not the other way around.”

Eve gauges for a reaction from you, one that will oppose her idea.

“Maybe you should go.” She switches up.

You look at Eve hesitantly, like it's a flop idea.

“You tried, Y/n. You did your part and he let you know but this isn’t the way things between you should end. Should he want it to end.”

It's like Amber knew what you were thinking and tried to dismiss the thought for you.

You weren't gonna lie and say that you haven't thought about blowing up his phone, driving to his house and banging on his door to open up to you.

But would he even want to? Would he even listen?

“It's not about what he wants, it's about what he needs.”

“And what he needs right now, is you.”

- MEANWHILE, WITH WILLIAM, RICK & REX -

“Come on, man. Don't be like this.” William tries.

Rick can see how much Mark is beating himself up over everything that’s happened.

With the fight against Liu’s dragon and Powerplex. And now recently, Conquest.

Mark never complained, it was the job. But you made getting back out on the field a bit easier.

“It's not worth losing her.” Rick gently reminds.

Mark's trio of lending hands have come to his service but it's unwanted, and Mark lets them know.

“Look, I don't need this. Especially not right now.”

This makes Rex mad.

“Oh you don’t need this? Well, excuseee me! We don’t need you to be so goddamn stupid, especially not right now.”

Mark narrows his eyes, visibly agitated. “Stupid? I’m being stupid?”

Rex widens his eyes, his pitch growing higher. “Yeah! That’s what I said.”

“Okay, I think we’re elevating the situation so let’s all just calm down.” William suggests nervously.

Mark has other thoughts as he rises from the bed. “And how exactly am I being stupid?”

Rex knows he shouldn’t be egging him on, he shouldn’t be encouraging his anger; but if this was the way to make his friend see his foolishness then so be it.

“By distancing yourself from the one woman who’s nice enough to let you, instead of manning up and telling her how you really feel.”

That stung.

“You don’t get to tell me how to handle my love life.”

Rex smirks lazily, a hardball on the tip of his tongue. “You don’t even have the balls to have one.”

“Rex.” William warns.

The cheeky bastard ignores him and continues on, a bit excited to see where this would all lead.

“I think she’d want a man who sees her, who doesn’t hurt her by ignoring her entire existence.”

Rick facepalms himself and wonders where the line between bravery and stupid was drawn.

Mark’s knuckles are white from how hard his fingers are curling in on themselves, his fists ready to pound into the explosive asshole.

Rex steps closer, now toe-to-toe with Mark and ignorantly unafraid. “I wouldn’t make her wait.”

Mark punches him right in the mouth, hard.

“Mark!” The yell of his friends fall on deaf ears.

Rex grunts as he stumbles back a bit, expecting this outcome.

“You don’t know her. You don’t know what’s good for her.” Mark spits bitterly.

Rex spits some blood out, sighing heavily. “You do.”

That makes Mark soften up.

He blinks like he’s snapped out of a trance. His fist wavers and is set down beside his thigh, a deep sigh exiting his nose. He looks at his friend and witnesses the ugly truth; his jealousy won.

“What am I doing?” He whispers.

Rex coughs lightly, the cut on his lip stinging.

“Talk to her, Mark. Don’t let her live with the regret of not knowing.”

Rick puts a sympathetic hand on his shoulder, hoping this will finally tip him over the edge.

Rex comes off the wall, slapping Mark’s back with a warm pat.

“I’m sorry, Rex. I shouldn’t have-”

He dismisses him with a wave. “Nah, I was being an asshole. An asshole on purpose, but still an asshole.”

Deep breath in, deep breath out.

You’re gathering the courage to mull over the most impactful relationship in your life.

Is there even a correct way to do that?

You don’t know, but what you do know is that you have to try.

You look yourself in the mirror and feel the weight of your younger self.

She’d be devastated. you think. If she were here in the flesh to see this, you don’t think she could withstand it.

A sharp knock to your door pulls you out of your head.

You’re not expecting anyone, and you’re unsure about the one person you did want to hear from.

Regardless, you walk over and open the door and your heart drops out of your ass. Not in fear, but in surprise.

“Mark.” You breathe.

Here he is; in the flesh and without the scowl you picture. In fact, he looks guilty.

His once glee-filled eyes are now empty of it, making you reminisce the time before last week.

“Can I come in?”

His voice resounding of forlorn hope. He expects you to deny him, to make him walk away with his hands held in a helpless prayer.

Instead, you show him mercy and welcome him inside your place of refuge.

Tentatively, he makes his way inside and awkwardly stands beside your desk.

You’re quiet, still trying to process his presence after an entire week of radio silence.

You don’t know how to feel. Should you be happy? Ecstatic? If anything, frustrated and hurt are also a great couple of options.

“Y/n?”

You look up at him and see his concerned face. “Hm?”

“I asked if we can talk.”

“Now you want to talk?” It came out before you could even think about it.

Your annoyance seeps through and he shuffles the weight on his feet a bit uncomfortably.

“I know-”

“No, you don’t.”

He looks at you like you just told him to kill himself.

“Y/n, please. Just hear me out.”

Your arms are crossed over your chest in a defensive position, he clocks that. He also notices the way you make eye contact with him throughout your sentences.

You were really hurt, he gathers.

He takes your silence as a sign to continue talking.

“After I left you at Paul’s, I went back out there and fought off the rest of those�� variants. While I was fighting them, they told me about you.”

Your interest is absolutely peaked now.

“What do you mean?”

“They... they said that you existed in their world but-” He cuts himself off with a vexed sigh.

“But what, Mark.”

You want, need to know what was worth hurting you for days on end.

Mark looks at you and it's the most disheartened he's looked since that night he told you to leave.

“You died, Y/n.”

It all makes sense now. You grapple with the stomach-churning epiphany of the century.

The different Invincibles that wanted to take you was simply because you ceased to exist in their worlds.

“I... I died in every single universe.”

He takes some steps in your direction, not wanting to overwhelm you.

“You either died on accident by being murdered among civilians or you killed yourself.”

“Why would I commit suicide?”

He deeply inhales. “Because you'd rather die than join the other me.”

That sounds on brand.

“I couldn't live with myself knowing I'd lose you in this world, too.” He admits raspily.

That touches your heart.

You want to hug him, to comfort him but you're still kind of confused. You needed more answers.

“I was so scared, I had never felt fear like I did when I saw them with you.” He whispers.

“Why'd you tell me to leave?” You ask gently.

“Because I love you.”

His confession is so light, said with such helplessness, that you tear up.

Mark maintains eye contact with you, tired of hiding his true self. He wants you to see him.

“So many people have died because of me, it may not be directly my fault, but it still had to do with me.”

He comes a little closer, just a couple of steps away from touching you.

“What if I was too late that day? What if they managed to take you away?” He mutters in a hushed tone.

Mark shakes his head as if to get rid of those thoughts.

“If anything happens to you, it will be because of me.”

“So, you thought it was best to create such a large gap between us, that there'd be a sinking hole inside of me. Is that it?”

Your eyes well up against your will but you can't bring yourself to care. Not when he can finally see just how much you've been suffering.

“You think I wanted to do that?” He asks defensively.

You scoff indignantly. “I think you could've told me from the jump. That's what I think.”

You know it's a little unfair given how vulnerable he's being right now but he was unfair when you were vulnerable, too.

He shakes his head, eyes closing in on themselves as his tears threaten to fall. “I can't risk your life, Y/n! Why don't you understand that?”

You messily wipe your tears, your lashes wet and nose tinged with the lightest of reds.

“All this time, you didn't have a problem with how close we were. Now that you saw how close I was to something dangerous, it got too real for you?!”

He's in your space now, his chin set down and eyes on yours.

Contrary to how mad he looks, he relays his message in an low tone. “Yeah. It did.”

Your eyes widen a bit at the length he's cut between your bodies and you're back in time. You go back to the moment he almost kissed you.

“Don't push me away, Mark.”

You beg him and you don't care if you look pathetic. You love him and don't want to lose him like this.

Mark just presses his forehead against yours and shuts his eyes, he concentrates on you. Your smell, your hushed breaths, your heartbeat.

You feel his hands slide up and down your arms, grounding you.

Even when he's opening up to you, Mark still chooses to comfort you. He still wants to calm you down, to make you feel better. He still chooses to have your best interests at heart.

“I came here to tell you the truth, that you deserve better.”

You wordlessly deny his idea, shaking your head once.

He grabs ahold of your head, making you look at him.

You see it all, you see all of his pain, grief, anger.

“I love you but you're not safe with me.”

“You don't get to make my decision for me.” You stubbornly point out.

“Y/n-”

“I love you.” A shaky whisper snuck into the air between your lips.

His wide eyes stare back at yours in surprise.

“I've loved you for a long time and I don't wanna be in love with another.” You wrap your hands around his, feeling the warmth bloom onto your cold ones.

“Please. Please don't ask me to stay away from you.” You cry.

He kisses your head and brings you close, your head on his shoulder and slotting between his bicep and forearm. He curls his other arm around your waist and lays his head on yours.

“Okay, fine.” He fondly agrees. “You win so stop crying.”

“Fuck you.” You jab.

He airily laughs and brings your face close to his, pressing an equally feathery kiss to your lips.

You timidly kiss him, shying away a little to breathe but Mark wants you to take his breath if you must. He pulls you in, hands gripping your hips and pulling you flush against him, wanting to shape a new mold from your figures.

Your fingers nervously brush his hair and he groans at the contact.

You chuckle at the sound and he pulls away leaving a soft peck.

He's in a daze and has hearts in his eyes but he ultimately decides; he wouldn't want it any other way.

[pukefactory]

Salesperson ena x klutz reader who runs into the face of danger whenever they’re on a job! Ena becoming a pro of keeping reader out trouble because of it too develops a sixth sense of when readers about to do something insane. Hit or miss if she can stop it all the time though.

•☽────✧˖°˖ SUBAQUATIC ERROR ˖°˖✧────☾•

★ Summary: A Compilation of Headcannons Featuring Salesperson Ena X Klutz Reader

★ Character(s): Salesperson Ena (Ena: Dream BBQ)

★ Genre: Headcanons, SFW

★ Warning(s): None - Completely Safe!

★ Image Credits: @JoelG

☆ At first, Salesperson Ena didn’t intend to add “Klutz Liability Coordinator” to her job title—but after the third incident involving you, a frog costume, a combustion grate, and four missing chairs, she started scheduling your catastrophes like calendar events. “Ah yes,” she mutters, flipping through an invisible planner while running. “Tuesday: [ASSISTANT EXPLODES THE BUFFET LINE]—yep, we’re right on schedule.”

☆ Her sixth sense has a sound. It’s not a gut feeling. It’s a horrifyingly specific click in her left temple, like a mechanical pencil snapping underwater. That’s when her body tenses and her clawed hand shoots out like a grappling hook, intercepting you mid-fall or redirecting you from swallowing suspicious purple smoke. “Excuse me,” she chirps with alarming calm, hoisting you upside down by the ankles. “That gas is not food. Nor soup. Nor a decision you should make.”

☆ Meanie is absolutely losing her mind. Every time you almost die, she’s in the back screaming like a broken vacuum. “YOU WALKED INTO A VOLCANO. FOR A COUPON. A COUPON!!!” She’s tried making laminated “STOP” signs, hazard maps, a whistle, and even a musical number. You tripped over all of it. You thought the warning jingle was a bop.

☆ She’s made contingency plans for every scenario and you still outpace them. Ena once drew up a full incident flowchart with “If they fall into a drainpipe during reconnaissance” branching into 13 colored outcomes. One of them ends with a goat revolution. “Don’t worry,” she tells a client mid-meeting, already sprinting toward an explosion. “This is covered under Clause: Dumbass in Proximity.”

☆ You treat danger like a scavenger hunt. You don’t seek danger, you just stumble into it like it’s hiding a clue. “Ooh, what’s this? A glowing box marked ‘DO NOT TOUCH’? Must be important!” You poke it. It howls. Ena tackles you out of the blast radius and smiles through gritted teeth. “Please, darling. For the quarterly forecast. For the future. For GØD. Don’t poke the cosmic horrors.”

☆ She literally made a wearable danger alarm. It’s a glitchy, singing megaphone hat that wails when you’re within ten feet of “anything that would get someone sued.” You wore it once. It went off for six hours straight. You thought it was beatboxing. Ena hasn’t stopped twitching since.

☆ Sometimes she just gives up mid-rescue. She’s leapt across rooftops to catch you mid-air, thrown herself in front of giant fish, and once argued with a sentient knife vending machine to spit you back out. But sometimes? Sometimes she just stares as you charge directly toward an electric void like it’s a selfie booth. “You know what? Fine. Let natural selection send me an invoice.”

☆ She has nicknames for each flavor of chaos you bring. “Oh no, they’ve gone full Confident Mole Rat Mode,” she’ll mutter, watching you dive beneath the casino tiles for “spatial leverage.” If you start climbing furniture: “That’s Vertical Disaster Initiative.” Running toward loud noises? “Classic Business Risk Manic Maneuver™.” You say you’re following your “intuition.” She says you’re following lead paint.

☆ She’s surprisingly tender about it in private. Once you fell through a mirror and re-emerged five minutes later in a fountain with a fish on your head and no memory of how you got there. You looked like you might cry. Ena didn’t say much—just quietly handed you her cap, dried your hair with a conveniently placed towel, and sat beside you as the fountain rained. “…I’m glad you came back through,” she mumbled, voice flickering to her serious side. “I would’ve…missed the chaos. And you.”

☆ No matter what, she always finds you. You once got sucked into a haunted storage closet with no doors. The security cameras caught her snapping her fingers, pulling out a megaphone, and yelling, “HEY. MISPLACED EMPLOYEE. REPORT TO FRONT DESK BEFORE I FILE YOU UNDER MISSING TAX DEDUCTIONS.” You stumbled out, covered in cobwebs, blinking. She dusted you off like this happens every Tuesday. (It does.) She never says it out loud, but she knows where you’ll end up. Always. Somehow. She’s tuned into your brand of nonsense like a second heartbeat. And she’ll be there—with a clipboard, a sigh, and a clawed hand reaching to catch you—every time.

[my-name-is-apollo]

Branchus: I’m proud to identify as morosexual.

Branchus: I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively.

Apollo: *accidentally milks a male goat in his attempt to seduce Branchus*

Branchus: *already taking off his clothes* Apollo, you’re so fucking stupid.

[lisa-grdjc]

NegaPosi Angler ep12 ramblings 🎣

(ofc it’s about takaaki again..what can i say. i love him so much.) i had always assumed that his little brother’s passing was due to his illness (hence why he was so adamant about hiro having to go to the hospital asap and stuff) but it’s so much worse and heartbreaking than i thought…

no wonder he hadn’t gone to visit his grave even once during those three years holy shit. i myself have a kid brother i care about a lot i can’t even fathom the immense guilt that must’ve been crushing him since… rewatching that scene from episode 10 right after hits different now i love inflicting pain upon myself

im placing takaaki breaking down in my top3 of things that caused me the most emotional anguish this year, and never before in my life have i been that desperate to reach out through my screen to hug and comfort a fictional character idc if i sound crazy i was literally whispering/yelling and begging for hiro to do something, anything. like, your friend is crying and looking like that right in front of you and you’re just. standing there, how. (tho i understand it now, this is hiro we’re talking abt, dude was a blubbering mess over a simple ‘thank you’ earlier and how he wasn’t used to saying alot of things and mayhaps it would’ve been ooc for him to physically comfort takaaki there. also he was pbly feeling awkward enough as it is and wanted to give him space but STILL. I WANTED THAT HUG. (fyi i am so writing a fic abt this later i could alr see it creating itself in my head while watching the scene like—)

i swear these VAs are so goated i can’t stress this enough—legit felt my heart twisting itself inside out hearing him sob im not strong enough for this

almost forgot to mention how frigging wholesome and funny the first half of the episode was; takaaki sulking and trying to give hiro the cold shoulder and failing miserably every time had me in stitches, like, c’mon. just admit it, dude you can’t even stay genuinely mad at him for more than two minutes straight you love him too much for that

this dumbass lmaooo (they are So cute)

even hiro finds it funny…

overall that first half was awesome as hell and the whole sequence of hiro catching his first big fish with takaaki’s help got me soooo happy and emotional i was so proud of him… he did it ;-;

also loooook it’s the lil girl and her mom from episode one,, she grew up🥹

and fuck, that ending… it got me crying real tears of joy,, i had a feeling we might get a timeskip and they absolutely delivered with it… ngl to me hiro started off as a okay-ish, almost annoying mc whom i didn’t think i’d even end up liking at the beginning, but here i am two months later weeping bc of his big, genuine grin as he reunites with his friends after years of medical treatment…

look at him!!! 2 years later and he’s all better now!! he gets to hang out with takaaki and the everymart gang and go fishing with them again!! this is everything i needed rly i couldn’t have asked for a more perfect and satisfying ending.. im gonna miss them all ofc but im so so happy rn

[kissitbttr]

So like what’s frat!miguel and the rest of the boys’ reactions to the Kendrick and Drake beef. Cause fuck Drake ofc.

FUCK DRAKE INDEEEEDDD🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

“oh god here we go” gloria sighs exasperatedly, throwing her head back while groaning as muñeca giggles,

“drake is fucking. cooked! yall seeing this shit right?!” carlos points his phone with a finger as he all but wide eyed,

“man i know! certified lover boy certified pedophile?? jesus he’s out for blood!”

“can’t disagree with the man. drake’s been weird since 2015. icky bro”

“remember when he tried to make a move on my girl riri?” carlos asks as if it truly what happened. “ticked him off the box”

“they did date, idiot” chang corrects, “and weren’t you the one who had his album needed to be played for every weekly party we have on?”

“i’m a changed man!” carlos exclaims. “he is sooo lucky he’s not making a move on my babe though—or imma need to beat his ass”

“who?”

“sza, chang! damn it bro, keep up!”

the boys all gathered in the living room, muttering bunch of ‘drake is a piece of shit’ and how ‘kendrick is the goat’ to each other,

“motherfucker really has another kid?? a daughter?! bro what the fuck!”

“man really took the cum and dump too literally”

“i don’t think anyone says that, mayback”

“didn’t he try to flirt with the kid from stranger things?”

a collective of ‘ews’ and gasps filling in the room as they all beginning to get intrigued. carlos even props himself on the stomach and legs kicking up in the air as he watches his frat brother explains the timeline,

it’s like watching girls gossiping at a sleepover

“i don’t see your man joining in” gloria nudges your side who’s munching away on your banana bread. “sucks because i’d love to see him act like a childish. grown up!” gloria speaks the two last words a bit louder so beck could hear,

yet the man only spares a quick glance at his girlfriend and sends a wink,

“jesus” her head shaking in disbelief. “I’m surprised o’hara is the one with a brain”

you disagree by putting a hand on hers, “don’t speak too soon. he’ll be here any second—“

“HAVE YOU ALL. HEARD. MEET THE GRAHAMS?”

a familiar booming voice coming from upstairs, and both of your eyes are quick to look up. seeing it’s miguel with a towel wrapped around his hips and hair wet with a large smile across his face.

you’ve never seen him look so cute.

“now” finishing off your previous sentence as your eyes refuse to leave his while giggling when he nearly trips down the stairs,

“children. all of them” gloria rolls her eyes, sipping on her drink as she glares at beck,

“oh come onnn, they’re happy” you try to change her mind but she simply just glares you too,

the boys cheer at miguel and wave at him to come huddle, wanting him to join all the hip hop gossip that’s been taking a toll on internet.

but not before he runs towards you first,

miguel basically sprints to you, grinning from ear to ear “hiiii mi amor” he squeals before stealing a kiss off your lips, hand gripping on the towel to secure his lower body,

a frown painted across your features. “are you not wearing an underwear or something?”

“i am” he says. “what, does it not look like i am?”

“kind of. i could see the print”

“shit my bad—guess it’s too big” he shrugs, saying it too casually that earns him a look of disapproval from you. one that says ‘i hope you’re not saying that shit in front of girls’ “kidding baby, kidding—hi gloria”

“put some clothes on dumbass”

“damn, i’m doing well, thanks for asking.”

“yeah yeah” she waves him off, not paying anymore attention to your man,

“you seem happy” a comment you drop soon as the grin on his face isn’t washing off,

“of course! drake is getting his ass dragged. who’s not happy?”

“just that?”

“just that” he confirms, grabbing an apple from the counter. “me and the boys were talking about it during class. apparently they all agreed with what i had in mind”

“oh? and that is?” you find this so amusing, you have to indulge,

“drake is a piece of shit!” he yells with a mouthful of an apple, earning another cheer from his brothers. “had his song on repeat during class, practice, work—kendrick’s insane”

“tell your man that he’s exaggerating. why is he participating on this damn beef” gloria mentions, “idiot”

“your man is in it too!” miguel defends,

“then you’re both idiots! he hasn’t shut up ever since euphoria dropped! can’t even suck his dick without him mumbling the lyrics non-stop”

miguel furrows, glancing at beck for a second before moving back to look at gloria. “okay that’s weird—you’re staying tonight, muñeca?”

head shaking, you almost feel bad at the deflated look on his face. “can’t baby—i’ll sleep over on a thursday, okay?”

“but whyyy” he whines, unbeknownst to gloria wincing in disgust before she moves away from the two of you. “you never say no”

“finals week, handsome” you move a piece of dampen hair that clings against his forehead. “i have to study and i’m tutoring too now, remember?”

“why can’t you study here then?” he moves closer to you. “in my room—together”

“miguel it’s for my english lit class, not sex ed” you roll your eyes. “you have me any other day, aren’t you bored?”

“blasphemy—again” he disagrees. “i get bored without you” a pout form on his lips in which you admit looking awfully cute that you almost cave in. “plus what am i supposed to hump? my pillow? i need sex! with you!”

you grimace. “you need a therapy, miggy”

[justabigassnerd]

In Another Life pt. 6

Pairing - Jackson Genrette x reader (Kook!JJ AU)

Word Count - 3,310

Series Warnings - swearing, smoking, angst, fluff, violence, weapons, blood, injuries, death, canon divergence (it's an AU innit?), drugs, alcohol, verbal & physical abuse

Summary - In another life, JJ Maybank was known by the name Jackson Genrette. The son of Larissa Genrette and grandson of Wes Genrette, making him the sole heir of Goat Island. Instead of being associated with surfing and smoking. Jackson was associated with the country club and yachts. Yet despite his unending wealth and Kook status, Jackson found himself intrigued by the adventures of the Pogues and found himself dragged along on an adventure he never could’ve anticipated.

In Another Life masterlist

In Another Life playlist

A/N - another week another part. not much to say about this other than that lol. as per y'all, please send in requests, feedback, and enjoy!!!

“What’s the ‘oh my god’ for? What did you find?” You question quickly, moving closer to the small hole and peeking through as if you could see what Kiara found.

Wordlessly, Kiara hands the envelope through the hole to John B, both you and Pope watching as it’s handed over before you move to help Kiara climb out of the mausoleum.

“That’s not gold.” Pope points out, with a slight disappointment in his voice.

“Holy shit. This is from my dad.” John B says, showing you how it had ‘for Bird’ written across the front of the envelope boldly for everyone to see. As you all process the discovery, you hear the rumble of an engine and you all turn to see a pair of headlights approaching you all.

“We gotta move. Those are the guys who robbed your house.” You say quickly to John B, all of you scrambling to hide behind the stone monument, desperately trying to turn your flashlights off.

“y/n, are you sure it’s them?” Kiara asks as you stick your head out from behind the mausoleum, squinting against the light to figure out if it’s really the same men or not.

“Whoever they are, they have guns and they don’t look friendly.” You say quickly, tucking yourself back against the monument.

“Screw it.” Kiara then whispers, turning her flashlight back on and making a break for the gate with you and the others following hot on her heels, all of you desperately trying to clamber over the large metal gate before diving into the Twinkie to drive away.

“Holy shit that was insane!” You exclaim as John B drives away from the cemetery, all of you recovering from the adrenaline rush you just experienced.

“How did those guys even find us?” Kiara questions, turning back to look at you as you shrug.

“These guys must be serious about this shit to be tracking us down.” You reply, leaning your head back against the wall, sighing heavily as your heartbeat begins to slow down. John B drives you all back to the Chateau, all of you heading into the house immediately to watch John B find out the contents of the envelope. You all watch as John B opens the envelope, extracting a piece of paper and unfolding it, revealing a map.

“Holy shit.” John B mutters, all of you studying the map intently.

“X marks the spot,” Pope says, pointing out the clearly marked cross on the map.

“There’s something else in here.” John B says, clearly feeling something else in the envelope while tracing his finger across the map. He pulls the envelope out from underneath the map and extracts a small machine.

“What is that?” You mumble aloud, eyebrows furrowing as you inspect the item.

“It’s a tape recorder, dumbass,” Kiara says, making you lightly flip her off in response as John B presses play on the recorder.

“Dear Bird.”

“Bird?” You question.

“It’s what my dad used to call me.” John B replies.

“I hate to say, ‘I told you so,’ but I told you so. And you doubted your old man. I suspect that as of this moment you’re filled with guilt and self-loathing over our last fight, but don’t kill yourself just yet, kid. I didn’t expect to find the Merchant either. You were probably right to call me out. I wasn’t exactly Father of the Decade. What could I say, kid? I could smell the barn. And hopefully, we’re listenin’ to this in our brand new sugar shack down in Costa Rica, livin’ off passive investments and pulling on permits. If not, and you find this for less than optimal reasons, well, that’s what the map is for. There she is, the wreck of the Merchant. If somethin’ happens to me, finish what I started. Go for the gold, kid. I love you, Bird, even if I didn’t always act like it. I’ll see you on the other side.”

You all listen to the tape in absolute silence, taking in every word Big John said. You were shocked at some of the things he said. Without warning, John B gets up from where he was sitting, stumbling over to the doorframe and clinging to it as sobs rack his body. You and Pope watched as Kiara went over to comfort John B, hugging him from behind as he sobbed.

“He found the Merchant.” You say in a quiet whisper, your eyes fixed on the map and the ‘x’ that marked where the wreck was located. You had heard bits and pieces about Big John’s search for the Royal Merchant and its gold, but you never believed he could’ve found it. Once John B’s sobs had slowed, you crossed to him tentatively, resting a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey man, let’s go sit out on the docks. Get some fresh air and have some beers. If you’re lucky I might even let you have a blunt.” You offer quietly, squeezing his shoulder as he nods, lifting a hand to wipe his tears. You and the others head out into the cool night air, making your way down to the dock. The four of you sit under the stars for a few minutes, listening to Kiara plucking at her ukulele while sipping beers.

“So how much gold sank in the Merchant?” You question, glancing over at Pope.

“About four hundred mill,” Pope responds as you let out a low whistle at the total.

“Wow. So, we’re splitting this evenly, right?” You say, glancing around at the others as you get nods of approval from them all.

“What are you going to do with your one hundred mill, Pope?” Kiara asks, all eyes falling onto Pope as he thinks quietly.

“Pay for college in advance. And, also textbooks, they’re expensive.” Pope says, satisfied with his own answer.

“What about you, Kie?” You then ask, glancing across at Kiara.

“Yeah, what does a socialist do when she’s rich?” Pope teases, making Kiara scoff lightly.

“I just wanna make a double album. About OBX, the Pogues. The way ‘Catch a Fire’ is about Kingston. Record it at Marley Studio, Peter Tosh producing.”

“Peter Tosh is-”

“Peter Tosh is dead. I know. The spirit of Peter Tosh will never die.” Kiara explains, a shy smile on her face as she confesses what she’d do with her share of the gold money.

“I think I know what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna get one of those big ass houses over on Figure Eight and go full Kook.” You say, lifting your beer to your lips and taking a sip.

“You’re gonna go full Kook?” Pope asks incredulously, looking at you as you shrug.

“Yeah, why not? I’m gonna have a shit ton of cash that I need to do something with.” You say, proud of your answer. While part of you wanted to use your share of the money on a nice house for yourself, part of you also wanted to buy a house on Figure Eight to earn respect from the rest of the island. To prove to yourself and others that you were more than just a Pogue.

“What about you, JB?” Pope then asks, all of you turning to look over at John B who remains silent for a moment and then smiling over at you.

“To going full Kook.” John B says, holding up his drink up in cheers.

“To going full Kook.” You all respond, cheersing your cans as you all grin. The four of you continue to chat for a while before you notice the time.

“I’m gonna head home. Don’t want my folks getting pissed that I’ve been gone too long.” You say, hopping off the wooden railing and bidding your friends goodbye with a salute as you make your way back across the dock and walk home.

Once again, you were unsurprised to find the house empty and void of life. You trudge upstairs to your room, changing into pyjamas and lying on your bed. You take some time rolling new blunts and lounging in your room. You never had much to do without your friends around. It was like your entire life was on standby when you didn’t have your friends with you. You lived your life for your friends and if it were up to you, you’d live in a big house with your friends for the rest of your life. Eventually, it grows late and you decide to go to bed, wanting the next day to begin so you can focus on finding the gold.

You wake up the next morning to the sound of someone knocking on your door. You sit up quickly, your heart pounding as you listen for who could be on the other side of the door.

“Yo, y/n. You in there?” You let out a small sigh of relief at the sound of John B’s voice, relaxing when you realised it wasn’t your parents on the other side of the door.

“What are you doing here?” You ask, watching as John B sticks his head in the door, grinning.

“We still don’t have any power, but we need to look at where the Merchant sunk.” John B says as you rub at your eyes.

“Okay? What do you need me for?” You question, stretching and standing up from your bed as John B leans against the doorframe.

“One, you’re my best friend and we’re in this together. Two, you work at the country club and they have computers.” John B explains, making you scoff lightly as you shake your head.

“You want to get into the country club… to use the computers?” You question skeptically.

“Yes. Figure Eight has power and they have all those fancy computers at the country club. You can get us in, right?” John B asks as you sigh softly, contemplating your next move.

“I guess I can…” you mumble, folding your arms across your chest.

“Yes! Thank you! You’re awesome!” John B says excitedly, pulling you into a hug as you reciprocate the embrace.

“Tell me something I don’t know.” You smirk, patting John B on the back before pulling away.

“Now get out, I need to get ready.” You say with a laugh, gently shoving John B out of the door.

“Okay, okay. I’ll be outside in the Twinkie with the others.” John B says with a nod, rushing off as you shut the door behind him so you could get changed.

Once you’re ready for the day, you grab your blunts and your cheap lighter, still clueless as to where your other lighter is before grabbing your work pass to make sure you can get into where you need to. As you go to leave, your hand resting on the door handle, you let out a sigh, glancing over your shoulder. You silently debate what you should do for a moment before crossing to your bed, crouching down and grabbing the gun from where you had squirrelled it away, shoving it into the waistband of your shorts before heading down to join the others.

“Did y’all miss me?” You say enthusiastically, climbing into the passenger seat of the Twinkie, and greeting your friends.

“Took your time, girl,” Kiara says with a laugh, exchanging a fistbump with you before settling in the back of the Twinkie. You and the other chat about the plan as John B drives to the country club, making sure everyone is on the same page. When you arrive at the country club, you instruct John B on where to park, knowing the best way to get in.

“We’ll go in through the kitchens, I know the best way to get to the computers.” You say, grabbing your pass and putting it around your neck just in case you get stopped.

“Good, we’ll follow your lead.” John B says with a nod.

“And, I’m prepared this time.” You gloat, pulling your gun out of your waistband and checking it over.

“Are you serious?” Pope exclaims, leaning over your shoulder, his eyes wide as he stares at the gun.

“y/n, you cannot bring that into the country club. I will actually throw it into the ocean if you do.” Kiara says, making you roll your eyes.

“So you get mad at me for not having the gun yesterday and you’re mad at me today for having the gun? Damn, tough crowd.” You mutter, tucking the gun under the seat with a grumble.

“Let’s just go.” John B urges, opening the door and climbing out of the Twinkie with you and the others following suit.

“This way. We’ll cut through the kitchens.” You say, directing your friends towards the back door to the kitchens, leading them through the bustling kitchens you were familiar with.

“Hey guys!” You greet the other employees enthusiastically, snatching some fries off a plate as someone tries to swat your hand away.

“Come on y/n.” You’re scolded lightly by one of the cooks who couldn’t help but laugh, familiar with your antics.

“This way.” You then say, returning your attention to your friends, exiting the kitchens and sneaking your way to where you knew the computers were, quickly ushering them in while people’s backs were turned.

“Hurry, hurry.” John B urges, pushing Pope towards the computer and digging in his pocket for the map before placing it on the table alongside the keyboard so Pope could enter the coordinates into the computer.

“Boom, continental shelf right there.” John B says, studying the pin on the map and its surrounding area closely.

“If it’s off the deep end it’s not going to be much of a treasure hunt, is it?” Pope says, zooming in on the map as you all lean in closer.

“Come on.” You whisper, willing the site to move faster as you hear people walking around outside the room.

“Shit, it’s on the high side. It’s only nine hundred feet.” John B says.

“That’s not too deep.” You say.

“Is that doable?” Kiara asks, looking at you.

“It’s totally doable.” You reply with a confident nod.

“Have you got a personal submarine or something we don’t know about?” Pope questions.

“Yeah, how do you know this will work?” John B asks.

“The salvage yard. They have a drone that can drop up to a thousand feet and it’s got a three-sixty camera. They use it for deep dives which is what we need.” You explain, looking at each of your friends.

“Can your dad even get hold of that?” John B questions, looking at you sceptically.

“Well, he got his ass fired. My dad’s not exactly a star employee in any job. But the drone’s there, and I know it’s in the impound yard out the back.” You say confidently.

“How much did you say was on the Royal Merchant again?” Kiara asks, looking over at John B.

“Four hundred million.” John B replies.

“Four hundred million dollars?” Kiara replies, echoing John B’s words as Pope shoots up from his seat to blockade the door with his body.

“Absolutely not,” Pope says defiantly.

“Pope. Move.” Kiara says, easily pushing him aside and opening the door as the rest of you follow behind her.

“Can’t we do anything legal for money?” You hear Pope ask as you all head out to the Twinkie, climbing into the vehicle and driving in the direction of the salvage yard as Pope continues to fret about the legality of it all.

“Look, Pope, we’re not stealing it. We’re just borrowing it.” John B says, trying to keep Pope calm enough to go through with the plan while you take one of the blunts you had made from your pockets, preparing to light it before Pope snatches it from your mouth.

“Keep the signal clear.” He says, flicking the blunt to the other side of the Twinkie as you roll your eyes.

“Pope, come on, it’s just one blunt I’m not that much of a lightweight.” You say, vaguely aware of the Twinkie slowing to a stop so Kiara could get out to act as the distraction.

“I don’t care. I’m not risking it when you’re the one telling us how to find this thing.” Pope retorts as the rest of you get out of the Twinkie, walking the rest of the short distance to the salvage yard to watch Kiara from a distance. Kiara knew just what to do to distract the guard and you couldn’t help but smile pridefully.

“So, how’s it going with Kie?” You question quietly, glancing over at John B.

“Yeah, she totally rejected me the other night.” John B replies.

“Damn, I could’ve sworn she was into you.” You reply with a shake of the head, wondering how you had misinterpreted everything.

“Maybe she’s into someone else?” Pope asks, all of you watching Kiara carefully. The moment the security guard turned around, you all bolted, using the parked cars for coverage as you ran for the gate that was slowly closing. You make it to the locked door that you knew had the drone inside and instantly grab the lock, trying your best to remember the combination.

“Have you got the right numbers?” John B questions as you rattle the lock, clearly not getting the combination right.

“I might not have the right numbers. Shit, I’m sorry.” You say apologetically, frantically racking your brain for any other combinations before you hear barking, turning around to see a guard dog barking at you.

“That’s a cougar.” John B says, both you and him bolting in separate directions while Pope remains rooted in place.

“Pope!” You call out to your friend, noticing that he hasn’t moved. Knowing you couldn’t just leave Pope alone, you notice an old handkerchief sitting on the nearby workbench and grab it quickly, waving it around.

“Look, I got a toy, this way boy!” You call over to the dog, immediately regretting your action when the dog decides to chase you. You bolt away with the dog hot on your heels as he barks. Spotting a boat, you hurriedly climb up the ladder and duck down, hiding and hoping the dog will grow bored and leave you alone.

“Whoever’s up there you better come out! I’m not messing around.” You hear the security guard warn, and you squeeze your eyes shut knowing there’s no way out of this situation you’ve found yourself in.

“Bobby, hey don’t shoot, it’s me, y/n. You know, Ben’s kid?” You say, sticking your hands up and showing yourself to the familiar guard who lowered his gun quickly, shushing his dog.

“y/n, what are you doing here? Your old man doesn’t work here anymore.” Bobby asks, tucking his gun away as you nod, preparing yourself to put your acting skills to good use.

“I know. I know. My dad told me he thought someone stole his blowtorch, he can’t find it at home. He told me I had to find it or… he’d hurt me again. I’m so sorry.” You explain, forcing tears to your eyes as you lie to Bobby, sniffling to make your lie more convincing.

“Okay, well I’ll keep an eye out for it, but you have to leave now. Come down.” Bobby gestures for you to come down and you obey, continuing to cry as you make your way down the ladder.

“I know. I’m sorry. I’ll tell him I couldn’t find it or something.” You mutter apologetically.

“Get home safe, kid,” Bobby says softly, sending you on your way. As you walk away, your back now facing Bobby, you wipe at your eyes as a grin covers your face.

“Sucker.” You mutter to yourself as you walk away, satisfied that you got away with it before going in search of your friends in the hopes someone got the drone.

taglist (comment or ask to be added)

@imsiriuslyreal @marleymarleymarleymarley @sarahmaybank @bee-43 @aceofspades190

[fatherless-behavior-prompts]

What We Do In the Shadows Prompts

"Stab this man."

"Last night there were all these people down there shouting and screaming half drunk."

"Please finish a whole victim before moving on to the next one."

"It's a lovely service, but I'm on fire."

"I'm not going to do this if he's pissing on the wall."

"Would say he's blessedly unburdened with the complications of a university education, but give him an ax and he's second to none."

"I am going to sprinkle it on my face and on my body. Like Twilight."

"And now I am a wizard!"

"This fucking guy."

"Sir, you can’t be throwing ancient coins at me."

"No, I am pillaging everyone, you included."

"She speaks the bullshit."

"Actually, I live in my own basement, dumbass."

"Why are you married to these boiled potatoes?"

"You’re supposed to support me when I want to murder someone!"

"The witches have been toying with our rugs again!"

"No nuns. None."

“Tonight is a good night for the other guy, not me, to die.”

"It’s very official. It came in an envelope."

"I hate this goat."

"I think you just need a little updog…"

"I have the power of 1000 cowboys running through my veins."

[onetoomanyfandomfixations]

Yuki, Kyo, Kagura, Momiji, Tohru with a reader from zodiac

FRUBA CHARACTERS W ZODIAC!READER

((reader’s zodiac is based off of western/greek zodiac signs; will be capricorn!reader))

YUKI

Is so shocked to find out there is a second zodiac curse

So grateful that there are more people like him

^^feels really bad about this

Bc y’all aren’t from the same zodiac - physical touch is even more dangerous

I mean,, imagine seeing not only a rat surrounded by clothes, but a weird goat-fish hybrid???

Regardless, tries to have physical contact with you whenever possible

Linking pinkies, resting his head on your shoulder, being shockingly close at all times,,

Is worried about ur scales dehydrating when you transform - tries to keep water on him for you

Makes sure you never feel insecure about your zodiac form like he does

Has a really lovely feeling of solidarity w you

Would do anything to protect your secret

Because he knows you would do the same

KYO

Straight up thinks you’re lying at first

“There’s no fuckin way”

You tackle him to prove it

“wtf that’s not even a real animal????”

Gets v flustered when u transform back

Mans is fine being naked, but seeing other naked ppl?

Hell nah

Eventually just kinda takes you under his wing w an annoyed sigh

So so touch adverse; is so scared of you seeing his true form

Like with the rest of his zodiac - wishes he was like you

So envious, but in a way that carries a deep sadness

Shows his affection through banter and friendly violence

((Mans will not hold your hand; however will kick you behind the knees - gentle enough as to not hurt, but hard enough to make you lose balance))

Scolds you for anything that could put your secret at risk

“How did you even survive before you met me, dumbass?”

KAGURA

So so excited to learn there is another curse

“We’re the same!!”

Is jealous of your animal form

You’re a cool, cute, mythical animal; and she’s just a pig?? Unfair!!

Constantly lets you know how unfair this is

Pretty upset that she can’t cling to you all the time

She just wants to show you how much she loves you, y’know?

Ironically, tries to do alot of mud and clay treatments to your skin and scales

Loves loves self care nights together

Isn’t opposed to cuddling when no one else is around, despite animals and then nudity

Doesn’t care if you see her naked

But anyone else???

Instantly branded a pervert.

Tries to keep you all to herself; “to keep the curse a secret, of course!!”

MOMIJI

Another one that is genuinely Thrilled to find out there are more like him

But is also instantly worried

“Who’s your god? What are they like?”

When you assure him that you’re safe, is So relieved

Even after this, is nosy as all hell lmao

Wants to know Everything about Everyone

“So you are Capricorn, ja? Who is Pisces? Because I am a pisces too!!”

Thinks your zodiac form is adorable!

Loves sitting in-between your horns when you’re both transformed

Unsurprisingly; will be exceedingly touchy-feely regardless of transformations

Mans does not give a single flying Fuck

Even when ur in public and have to be careful of transforming - is never Not touching you

Holding hands galore!!

Shows you off to the rest of the zodiac

But doesn’t let you anywhere near Akito

You’re too precious

TOHRU

Feels so blessed to be meeting more special and unique people

Is very vocal about this

Is also V nosy; but not in a malicious way

Plays guessing games as she meets everyone

((Usually gets it wrong))

Doesn’t know as much about the Western zodiacs, but is very excited to learn!

Very very cautious to make sure you don’t transform

Thinks you’re beautiful and fascinating when you do though!!

But wants to keep you safe

However, its a well known fact that she’s one clumsy mf

Me too, Tohru, me too

Will tell the most Wack cover stories for you

Wants you to be besties with her zodiac

[berrypass-de-murdler]

S-5 Death on the Quad

I smell a plot brewing

What's brewing in the plot

DON'T READ THE EPISODES WITHOUT READING THE BOOKS!!

This kid’s heart is beating out of his chest as he takes heavy breaths and tries to settle himself.

KID: The future depends on it. The future depends on it. It depends on YOU! YOU, YOU FOOL! You’ll never do this. YOU’LL NEVER DO THIS!

Abalone hears the yelling coming from a shut dorm and gets nervous. 

The kid throws himself on the ground and sobs. Then he sucks the tears back in, and rises. It’s go time.

Slowly, he wanders the quad. He scans the students walking in and out of the buildings. None of them look right. There’s a girl with horns, ramming against a tree and yelling. She’s obviously not it. That kid spinning around with a frisbee and never actually throwing it DEFINITELY isn’t. He rolls his eyes. Why does everyone have to be so… dumb? Little does he know the world’s most beautiful sound is about to lace his ears.

LOGICO: EW!! THE FUCK! A DEAD CHESSBOXING COACH! WHY ARE THERE SO MANY DEAD PEOPLE?!

The kid turns toward the tiny gremlin, seeing a grumpy cyclops pout and rage. His face falls limp with awe, and his eyes sparkle like an entire galaxy. Could this be it? 

LOGICO: [point] YOU! 

The kid’s heart stops. He wasn’t expecting to be noticed so quickly.

LOGICO: AND YOU, AND YOU! GET OVER HERE! 

The others walk over too. It’s time for Logico to investigate yet another murder. Why does everyone have to rely on him? Why can’t someone call the police or something?

Logico first gets to the girl with the horns. She’s a cow, but an angry one, and bigger than a lot of the other students. The current president, Pine.

PINE: You better bet I’m gonna protect my position. NO ONE’s gonna take this spot from me! No kids, no coach, no NOTHIN’!

That’s already a big red flag, but unfortunately Logico has to examine the others for a fair trial. The frisbee kid is an unknown animal with a big orange hat called Tangerine. 

TANGERINE: I am going to be the first nonbinary person to graduate from this place.  KID: You’re not alone... My friend is also- TANGERINE: I SAID. I am going to be the first. And if I’m not? There will be hell to pay.

Logico doesn’t know the gender identity of the coach, so this is equally suspicious. The final suspect is the kid. He’s wearing a crop tank that says “BEST BOI”, a bright blue jacket, shorts, one earring, and socks with sandals. 

LOGICO: If you’re going to dress that hideous, why do you even bother?

Then he finally realizes how dirty that sounded. He notices that he’s wearing a specific ruby pin. He knows he’s seen someone else wearing it, but he doesn’t remember who. Is it a fraternity? 

LOGICO: Speak up, dumbass.

The kid can’t bring himself to muster a word. But he writes something down and shoves it in his face. It’s a collection of Roman numerals.

LOGICO: OH, SPEAK WORDS, YOU ABSOLUTE BUFFOON!

The kid has disappeared. Logico clutches his head. And then after feeling a creepy touch, he finds another note in his pocket.

“I = 1

II = 2

1 = A

2 = B

2”

An uncomfortable presence, but Logico decides to at least try following its words. And miraculously, it translates what that kid gave him. With this new knowledge, he figures out that the killer was Pine!

PINE: THAT FUCKER AIN’T GONNA STOP MY REIGN! I SWEAR TO GOD!

She runs away, and Logico looks up at the incredible statue in the center of the quad. Lord Graystone, the griffon who founded the school. Maybe one day he’ll be able to solve his murder, the greatest of them all.

The end! 

Well-dressed mystery boy? Lmao, no.

And cool fact - Cartoon Tangerine is s h o r t.

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[paipie0]

Today I went on an unhinged rant about a moment in the Chinese Novel Reverend Insanity.

It was in the comment section of a meme about how Dong Fan Chang Fan convinced his clan that killing them and his son to create a new body to revive in was ok… by mentioning how Ren Zu killed his daughter in the Legends of Ren Zu. (Ren Zu didn’t even kill his daughter, he just left her behind in the ordinary abyss and spent a long time regretting it and tried super hard to meet her again)

In reaction to that meme, I started ranting about a scene in volume 2 which I’ve read almost a year ago but somehow didn’t forget it:

Bro remember how some senior in the Tie clan tried to encourage Tie Rou Nan after she saw her clan mates get wiped out by FY? He said she should cheer up because those Gu Masters died gloriously in battle, and since Verdant Great Sun in the Legends of Ren Zu died by bathing in too much glory of the light from the immemorial era, this shows that glory is worth dying for.

The whole moral of that story is to don’t get too far ahead of yourself like Verdant Great Sun did, he ignored all the warnings about the light of glory and paid the price with his life. It’s inspired by the story of Icarus who literally flew too close to the Sun. Verdant Great Sun is an example of what not to do. How the fuck did that senile old fuck completely miss the point and see a circle.

The Righteous faction have negative reading comprehension. Someone with 0 reading comprehension would at least take it literally and think that the story is telling everyone that flying in the light of glory will get you killed if you’re not careful. Righteous cultivators manage to delve into the negatives by thinking that the story is telling you to bathe in the light of glory and die.

No wonder they have to cultivate Heaven Path, these dumbasses can’t even get ordinary attainment in the Human path. (And that’s why Spectral Soul is my goat)

[vivid-dreamscapes]

~♡~ Love’s captive duel ~♡~

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

“You two remember when we made Nomu’s out of corpses?” The two of you nodded wearily and Dabi smirked. “Well we’re trying to do the same thing—with living, breathing people.”

You and Bakugou’s eyes widened as Dabi spoke. No. They weren’t actually going to do that, were they? There’s no way they would actually even consider that.

The blind shit was the first to speak, his red eyes flashing with shocked rage. “What? Why?!”

“Why else? They’re strong, tough, ruthless, deadly.”

“You’re insane!”

Dabi smirked simply, running his tongue along his teeth as Kai gave the two of you a matching, toothy smirk. “And you two are the perfect test subjects! You’re both powerful. Technically, Y/n was the only one we were gonna test on, but you a bonus!”

Bakugou was furious. He didn’t even have words for how angry he was right now. They were going to turn you, and him, into some lifeless killing machine?! “No! Like hell I’m letting you turn me into some goddamn zombie!”

“You have no choice in this matter, Hothead.” Dabi said as Kai walked into the cell. He kneeled down, removing the cuffs from your ankle and grabbing the crook of your elbow.

With a rough tug, he pulled you out of the cell, shutting the door as you shouted profanities at the goat boy.

The other UA student watched as Kai pulled you out of the cell against your will and the door slammed shut in front of him. He was stunned, just standing there in shock, before realization set in.

“Wait- no!” Bakugou ran forwards and grabbed at the cell door, shaking the bars as he shouted at you and the villains. “Get back here damnit! Let her go!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a week. A well of tests daily on the both of you, only to be thrown right back into you cell.

Bakugou let out a groan as he slumped down on the wall. He was completely exhausted, and it showed. The past week was hell, being hauled out of the cell every day and going through the tests. It took a lot out of him. “When are these assholes gonna call it quits?”

You sighed from your own cot, staring up at the ceiling. The bags under your eyes were bigger than you’d like to admit, and you were covered in cuts. “When we’ve finally become brainless Nomus.”

The blonde let out a huff as he rolled his eyes at your words. It was a sad, but true, sentence. They were going to keep testing them and testing them until they finally got what they wanted. “We can’t sit here and do nothing.”

He said, pulling himself into a sitting position. His body ached in response to the movement, but he ignored it. He needed to get out of here. He wouldn’t allow himself to become a mindless killing machine. Ever.

“We’ve been trying to escape for days. We haven’t found a way yet.” You said with a raised eyebrow.

He didn’t deny your statement. You had a point. It was almost fruitless to try and escape when you didn’t have an actual plan to do so. But that didn’t stop him. He wasn’t done trying yet.

“We have to keep trying. We can’t give up hope yet.” He replied, standing on shaky legs and trying to push the exhaustion from his mind. He needed to stay awake. They had to try and find a way out sooner or later.

You looked over at him and immediately sat up, seeing how unsteady he looked. “Whoa, dude, your gonna-“

“I’m fine. I’m fine. Just give me a sec.” Bakugou cut you off, waving his hand as he tried to steady himself. He didn’t need you concerned for him. It would just slow the two of them down.

He mumbled a curse under his breath, trying to steady his footing. He was dizzy, that was a given, but he tried to hide it. He didn’t have time to be weak, especially not in this situation.

You began to get up, ready to help him. “No, your not dumbass. Let me help!“

The blonde rolled his eyes once again, trying to push your help away. He didn’t need your help. He was fine, damnit! He was just a little dizzy.

“Don’t. I can do it.” He retorted, wobbling and trying to take a step forwards.

He didn’t even get three steps in before he tripped and collapsed, heading for the ground.

“Katsuki!” You shouted, running over and catching him quickly. You fell on your ass from his weight but kept him held against you in a panic, his head on your chest. He barely even heard you shout his first name before falling into a darkness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bakugou opened his eyes and groaned, rubbing his head as he tried to get his bearings back. How long had he been out? The cell was dark, indicating night time…

He hadn’t realized how out of it he was, and it was kind of embarrassing how he collapsed against you.

Dammit. He was supposed to be strong and now here he was being all weak in some cell in the league of villains’ hideout.

“Sorry.” He said wearily, trying to pull himself off of you.

Immediately, he was met with your hand over his mouth as you held him in place, his back against you. When he looked up at you in confusion, you placed a finger to your lips.

After a moment, he heard it. Kai was arguing with someone at the condoned prison’s entrance, sounding quite pissed. And talking back to him in a stoic, almost tired tone was…

Aizawa?!

Bakugou’s eyes widened as he heard the familiar sound of his own homeroom teacher. It sure as hell sounded like him. But was that really him? Why was he here?

He froze In his position against you, going completely still and trying not to make a sound. He didn’t want to alert the goat bastard that two of his experiments were conscious and listening in. That would not be ideal.

After a moment, it was for sure. It really, honestly was Aizawa, wasn’t it? God what was he doing here? Wait, was he here for him and you?

Bakugou looked up at you for a moment through the darkness. You seemed to put the pieces together fairly quickly as well. Both of you remained quiet, just listening to Aizawa and Kai speak.

“Listen here, I don’t know how many time I have to tell you, but get out! This is trespassing!” The goat villain snarked, followed by the sounds of chair legs screeching across the floor.

Then came the ever so wonderful eraser head’s voice. “Kid, you’re wasting my time. If I could just grab two of my many problem children and go, that’d be great.”

Bakugou held his breath as he listened to the conversation. Was Aizawa really trying to break into a goddamn villain base and get them out? Damn. That was Aizawa for you.

He tensed slightly as Kai spoke. “You aren’t getting in this building, pro hero or not.”

“Look. I just need to get those two brats and get the hell out of here. Grab and go with you in jail. Problem solved, no?”

“Why are those two brats so goddamn important?”

“Because they’re my brats. I’m not leaving them here with you villains.” 

After a moment, Aizawa paused. What was happening? A stare down? Then there was a static sound. Did he have an earpiece?

“Nevermind. Kirishima’s got this.”

Not even two seconds later, the wall of your cell that was facing the outside was shattered, a familiar boy having kicked right through the damn thing. Standing there, in the now ruined doorway, was Red-Haired Kirishima.

He was panting, probably from the amount of force it had taken to kick through the wall, but he got it done. His eyes widened and he smiled as he saw the two of you sitting against the back wall. “Bakugou! You guys’ okay?”

You looked up at the boy in shock before nodding. How the shit….?

Bakugou just stared. “H-how did you get in here?” He asked wearily. That was a fair question. He was impressed, honestly.

Kirishima grinned as he responded to both of you. “Aizawa and Midoriya gave us the location, and we made a game plan.”

The explosive boy nodded, not surprised Midoriya was on this. Of course he was. The nerd always managed to get involved. And Aizawa being a part was a damn given.

“Damn. You guys actually put together a plan?” He asked, finally getting off you and standing to approach his friend, still a little wobbly.

Within a millisecond you had grabbed the boy and plopped him down on a cot with a disapproving look. “Nope, no walking. You’re too light headed.”

Bakugou had opened his mouth to object and get up, but you cut him off, pushing him back down on the cot and forcing him to sit. Damn it, you had a point. He was dizzy as hell and would probably fall over if he tried to stand again.

He grumbled, pouting and throwing his head back against the wall in annoyance. This was just embarrassing. He’s supposed to be a hero in training, and here he was sitting in some shitty cot cuz he was too dizzy to stand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Soon, you two had been sent off to the hospital to be checked for vital damage from then testing.

Bakugou sat in the hospital bed, a displeased look on his face.

The doctors had checked and poked every inch of him and you, making sure neither of you had any life threatening marks or broken bones. He was irritated. He was going to be fine damn it! He was fine.

He looked over to the bed next to his, where you were sitting as well, probably having the same thoughts he was.

“…I honestly never should have gone on that date with Kai in the first place.” You said, recalling the way you had been lured into this whole trap.

Your hospital roommate glanced over at you when you spoke. He remembered that date and how he had been irritated when you had gone. “Why did you go with that creep bastard anyway?” He asked, keeping his voice to a quiet volume. It was just the two of you in the room to he didn’t have to keep it too down.

“Honestly?” You paused before looking over at him, a sudden feeling of vulnerability washing over you. Like you could tell him anything. “To make you jealous.”

His jaw almost dropped in disbelief. He hadn’t been expecting those words to come out of your mouth, to be completely honest.

He had expected a different answer, such as boredom, curiosity, or maybe just a plain old “I don’t know”

But, no. You went to go make him jealous? And you just said it like it was just a simple, unimportant fact.

“You…what?”

“I know, it sounds stupid. But I thought maybe….”

Bakugou blinked at you, processing your words. “Wait, hold up. You were trying to make me jealous?” He asked for clarification. He would admit, he had been irritated when you went with Kai to the movies. He hadn’t been able to pin point why he had been so angry. “Why?”

“Because I like you, dumbfuck.” You mumbled, looking up at him slightly.

His eyes widened even more at your blunt confession. That was…not was he was expecting. He was expecting some big reveal and reason, maybe a backstory to explain why. But no, you just outright said you liked him.

He sputtered for a moment, trying to think of something. Anything! to say in response. “W-well you don’t have to go make me jealous to make me notice you!”

“Well nothing else was working!” You said in a voice that matched his volume, getting equally flustered.

He looked at you for a moment and then at himself, running a hand through his messy hair. You actually liked him? Like, genuinely? “So you’re meaning to tell me…that you went out with a villain to make me jealous?” His tone was completely disbelieving. He couldn’t really grasp the fact that the person he secretly crushed on crushed on him.

“Well I didn’t know he was a villain at the time dumbass.”

Bakugou rolled his eyes. You had a point there. You hadn’t known the guy was a villain. “Yeah I know that.” He responded before he frowned. “How long have you liked me, dumbass?”

“…since halfway through first year.”

He couldn’t help but be floored by the response. Halfway through the first year? “Are you shitting me? You’ve been secretly crushing on me since then?”

“Be quiet I was in denial!”

The blonde smirked slightly. You were in denial of liking him. For a whole damn year too. “For a year, huh? Damn I feel kinda special now. That’s quite the secret you’ve been keeping, dipshit.”

“If you’re gonna reject me then just do it.” You mumbled, crossing you’re arms and looking away with a small pout.

Bakugou raised an eyebrow at your words. You immediately assumed he would reject you? You actually believed that he would say no.

He shifted so he was facing you before he grabbed your wrist and pulled you off your cot, pulling you over to his bedside and making you sit on his bed next to him.

Once you were sat down next to him, he wrapped an arm around your waist. You were looking away from him, a pout on your lips, and he couldn’t have that.

“What makes you think I’d say no?”

He asked, tilting his head as you sat there, all rational thoughts disintegrating. “Because I’m not going to. Quite the opposite in fact.”

He rolled his eyes again before pulling you even closer to him, making you sit in his lap. He had fully given up on trying to keep his cool, he was much too focused on the fact you liked him.

“Now look at me, dumbass.” He said, grabbing your chin and pulling your face towards him gently.

He smirked again, pulling you closer to him. You were so close that he could feel the heat emanating from your body. It was making it harder and harder to not just grab you and kiss you senseless.

“-!”

Bakugou couldn’t help but chuckle at the startled expression on your face as he pulled you onto his lap, making you straddle his waist.

The fact you got so flustered by him doing something so small sent some sort of rush through him. He was having a hard time keeping himself from just grabbing you and pinning you down on the bed and going to town on you. “You gonna look at me, or are you gonna keep averting your goddamned eyes, huh?”

“Are you gonna kiss me or are you gonna avoid it by teasing me?” You finally shot back.

He froze for a second, not expecting such a bold response from you. The way you looked was enough to make his brain melt. You were sitting on his lap, right next to him, as you looked at him with flushed cheeks, a pout on your lips.

“You sure about that? You sure you want me to kiss you?” He asked, his eyes darting to your lips. They looked so goddamn kissable, he was wondering how they’d feel against his.

“Only if I’m allowed to kiss back.”

He chuckled, his grip on your chin tightening slightly, tilting your head up so he could look deeply into your eyes. “You can’t kiss back? What kind of deal is that? Of course you can kiss back, dumbass.” He said before finally leaning forward to capture your lips.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I FINALLY DID IT. THIS ONLY TOOK ME, LIKE, ALMOST ALL JUNE UP UNTIL TODAY (this was technically finished being written in the Fourth of July). It got kinda weird and confusing I think, so it definitely wasn’t my best writing, and I unfortunately rushed this chapter. I just wanted to be DONE WITH IT. Series in the future will be better!

[wh0refornikolailantsov]

Prompt: "You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

For Nina x Reader please!!

Couldn't Love Anybody Else - Nina Zenik

Content Warnings: Insecurity And Doubt. No Beta/Proof Reading.

"I think it's best that I go," Nina tells Kaz, "we know I can be very persuasive." You smile, knowing exactly how persuasive Nina is capable of being.

"No," Kaz says plainly before looking to you, "you will go."

"Why?" You ask, and bite your tongue at the snapping rate of the question.

"Because you have the expertise to get you in," Kaz says, "and you're exactly his type."

"I resent the way you said that Brekker," Nina says. "Besides I am everyone's type."

"Nina, I need your skills elsewhere," Kaz says, "now go home, get sleep, tomorrow we have a job to do."

You know better than to argue with Kaz Brekker, but that doesn't stop Nina from trying. Once she finally exhausts herself from arguing with him, you hold the door open for her and start the short walk back.

Jesper stops you on the way, asking if either of you have recently set eyes on Wylan, Nina is uncharacteristically quiet, clearly thinking something over and over. "What dumb thing have you done now?" You ask. Jesper tilts his head side to side.

"I didn't do anything dumb," he says, and then upon some contemplation, "but I did say something dumb."

"What could you possibly say that is dumber than things you've come out with before?" You ask, trying not to let your gaze linger on Nina's blank expression too long.

"I was talking about missing Milo," Jesper explained. You nod.

"The goat," you say. Jesper rubs his neck all sheepish.

"Yeah, I am glad you recognised that, turns out that might not have been so obvious to everyone," Jesper says. You sigh.

"You didn't prefix it with, by the way I am talking about a goat?" you ask. Jesper takes his head.

"I would clip you one if I didn't think you were faster than me," you warn him.

"It's stupid, I know, and now I can't find him to explain," he says.

"I'd check the night market," you tell him. Jesper frowns.

"We have a night market?" he looks deeply unnerved.

"In the nice side of Ketterdam, he sometimes goes there when he is stressed, they make good snacks, and they sometimes import good powders," you explain. Jesper scans you up and down in a glance. "Yes, I listen to your boyfriend, now go and apologise while he is still your boyfriend."

"Received," Jesper says before dashing off into the dark.

"Dumbass," you whisper, you look to Nina, hoping for a smile, but she is scrunching up her nose in discontent. You don't try asking until you make it back into your kitchen, and offer Nina some hot chocolate. She shakes her head, not even really registering the question and that's more than enough to have you worried.

"What is it?" You ask.

"Hmm?" Nina says, looking startled out of her thoughts as she looks across the room to you.

"You don't think I can do this job?" you ask her.

"I know you can do this job," she assures you. "I don't like it any though."

"Why spend so much time arguing with Kaz, Nina, you knew it was pointless," you say, leaning against the counter.

"Had to try," she says.

"Why though?" You ask. She presses her hands together and then looks up at the ceiling, she is searching for a reason, a reason that isn't the truth, a reason that sounds more reasonable than the truth, but she fails to find one. "You're jealous, aren't you?"

You had meant about the job, about Kaz putting you in the centre, and asking Nina to pull some background tricks to keep them moving, but the second the words reach her the look of guilt on her face reveals a whole other kind of jealousy, a type you hadn't dared consider. She's jealous that you have to seduce someone as part of the job.

"No," Nina's voice is sturdy but her conviction is lacking. She won't meet your eye as she says it.

"Nina," you sound out her name soft and slow, and she quickly mistakes your empathy or pity and throws you a look. Her arms crossed across her chest and doing her best not to pout.

"Look, you don't have to look at me like that," she says, "I know it's part of the job."

"Nina, I am not looking at you like anything," you defend. She eyes you, not yet convinced. She has flirted her way through jobs before, she has flirted herself out of trouble more times than she can count. But with you it's different, because you didn't flirt for fun, or for the sake of it, you weren't like Nina and Jesper, you'd never got your kicks from watching someone else blush and buckle under the weight of your attention. Flirting was something you'd grown to do, a response to Nina and her charm, a charm that flourished your own. So the idea of Nina watching you work that same charm on someone else, it made her jealous, jealous in a way she hasn't ever really known before. But also protective.

"With your eyes like that," she waves a hand at you before returning it to her side. You've never seen Nina Zenik, Queen of Smiles and Charisma, so... unsure.

"I am looking at you the way I always look at you Nina," you tell her.

"You always look at me with such pity?" she asks. She huffs slightly, moving to cross her arms. "I had always thought it was awe in those pretty eyes of yours, but thank you for correcting me."

"Nina," you tell her, closing the space between the two of you to place your hands gently on her arms. "I never look at you with anything less than utter admiration, and complete reverence."

"Really?" she asks, smile creeping into her pout.

"Nina for a while now, I have been nothing short of ridiculously, and rather desperately, irrevocably in love with you," you say, "have I not made that abundantly clear?"

"Well," she shrugs a shoulder gently, "maybe not abundantly."

"That is on me then treasure, and all I can do is beg your forgiveness for such an egregious duplicity."

"You're just trying to distract me with words now," she teases, "keep going it's working for you."

You laugh, her arms move from being crossed to wrapping around your waist, holding you close to her, as she smiles at you, all forgiven, all argument disarmed. "You know this is just a job to me Nina," you tell her, "this will always just be a job, Ketterdam is not my home, and admittedly neither is Ravka, you are my home, and I will always return to you, you are my only loyalty."

[narutocharacterpolls]

I just saw that you were done talking about these two... buuuut I had already been enlisted to draw a comic so I really hope you don't mind! I'm still a bit out of practice so apologies for the quality.

In all honesty as much as we (and Naruto, lol) consider Sasuke an all-time fave and are bummed out he's not moving along, he probably would not give a single shit. He already knows he's the GOAT and has other things to be doing like, you know, moving the entire plot along and getting justice for his family.

In this case, though, I'd like to think he also takes some time to talk about swords with his go-to weapons expert friend, Tenten. Just for fun.

Hope you enjoy and it at least brings a smile to you. It looks like things unfortunately got a little heated.

[ID: Four fanarts of Sasuke, Suigetsu, and Tenten sitting at a counter with the executioners blade sitting on it.

Image one: Tenten comments in a tiny bubble, “Ooh awesome blade” Sasuke asks Tenten, “So you’re a weapons expert and Suigetsu here is a dumbass, I was wondering if…” Sasuke gets cut off by a loud spiked speech bubble coming from off screen, an unseen Naruto yells, “Sasuke!”

Image two: Sasuke, Suigetsu, and Tenten now pause, silent, looking up in shock inferably towards Naruto.

Image three: a panel of just Naruto, clutching his chest and crying as he holds his phone and says, “Oh my god you lost the best character poll, Sasuke! I can’t believe it!”

Image four: Sasuke, Suigetsu, and Tenten return their focus back to themselves and Sasuke says, “Anyways…” Suigetsu notes “Lol” and Tenten sweats with a nervous smile. END ID]

WOW!! YOU DID AN AMAZING JOB! They all look wonderful, and it’s so so awesome you made a whole comicccc this is so funny I’M SO ASTOUNDED AND IMPRESSED YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING!

I absolutely don’t mind sharing any creative pieces you guys have made, I love spreading your talent! As always if I did miss one of your artworks or writings please let me know! That poll was crazy and my notifications were never ending, so it’d have been easy to miss one if I was tagged during that!

[demonhanabi]

The Fae Contract Complication - Treat

Queen Penelope watched in wry amusement at the figures 'fighting' in front of her. She was fully leaned back in her throne, one of her elbows rested on the armrest as she leaned her head into her hand, showing obvious boredom and contempt to anyone that dared glance her way. The crown of Spring sat nicely on her head and despite the position of her head, she knew it would never fall, not unless she removed it herself.

The ‘fighters’ -she scoffed in her head- in the ring were just dancing around each other and it bored her to death. Where was the fun in a choreographed fight? Where was the blood? Where was the goddamn danger?

She purposefully used her free hand to rub at one of her long ears and yawned widely. Enjoying the way it made the danc…fighters flinch. It was a little wicked payback for forcing her to sit through this farce.

Not that the men in the ring were to blame, no. Well…not fully. Her own mother was the one that had set these stupid rules. “Whoever wishes to marry my daughter needs to impress her greatly, so much that she asks to bear your children.”

And that was the start of these dull performances. Fae from all realms coming to see her to try and woo her while she only wanted to be left alone.

Her mom was thrilled though. She loved getting gifts and all these dumbasses loved giving gifts. In fact, the man that organized this whole thing for today that was ‘fighting’ in the ring right now. Lemmy or something, he had gifted her mother with a whole crate of goblin grapes. Who knows how he got his hands on that without getting eviscerated by a mob of goblin farmers.

The dance-fighting was so dull that her eyes were closing on their own.

“My lady. Pssst.” A mousey voice startled her awake.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m paying attention.” She grumbled, her eyes still closed.

“No my lady, there is a…situation.” Her lady-in-waiting sounded annoyed more than anything.

Penelope sat up, interested. “Oh?”

“A human man infiltrated the castle and requested an audience with you.”

“An assassin?!” Penelope asked in an excited whisper.

“No. He’s waiting at the gardens.” The response was immediate and deadpanned.

“Aw…”

“But I thought it would make for a good excuse to leave this ‘exhibition’.”

“You’ve earned a bottle of my personal mead.” Penelope beamed at Bernhardette.

“I already took it.” Bernhardette said with a straight face.

“...sometimes I have a hard time telling when you’re joking.”

“Joking?” Her lady-in-waiting tilted her head innocently.

“Shut up.”

Penelope stood up suddenly and regally, startling everyone present. “Everyone, I thank you for this…interesting showing, however, urgent matters that require my attention have come up. I must take my leave.” Before anyone could utter a word, she quickly left the throne room and walked briskly towards her garden.

As soon as the sun kissed her skin she felt ten times better. While she loved wearing the crown of Spring, it did make sitting in the shadow a bit of a pain.

Penelope hummed a song as she skipped towards her garden, enjoying the fair weather. From time to time she glanced down at her feet, loving the way flowers and grass sprung to life beneath each of her steps.

She wondered about this human man that had dared trespass her home. In her experience that was either someone very brave or someone very stupid. Maybe she should make it so thorny vines grew out of him? Turn him into a statue for her garden? Or maybe even turn him into a goat and watch as his own oblivious people roasted and ate him? So many options!

Arriving at her garden she found a table set with tea and biscuits right at the edge of the main garden. She frowned in confusion until she recognized the man calmly sipping at a cup.

“Sheldor?” She asked for good measure.

Sheldor stood up stiffly, he wasn’t wearing his regular armor and looked uncomfortable in the peasant robes he was currently wearing. “Queen Penelope.” He nodded respectfully at her and waited until she was sitting down to sit back down himself.

“What are you doing here? I was told someone had sneaked in…Oh! You’re here to try and assassinate me?!” Penelope started in a confused tone of voice before her voice turned to excitement.

“No.” Sheldor deadpanned.

“Aw…” She pouted. She had half hoped that he would say yes so they could fight it out. Penelope had often wondered how good he truly was. He had a fearsome reputation as the King’s personal knight but her kind and them had lived at peace for the past two generations so she had never been able to witness him fighting.

Penelope allowed the silence to drag out.

She carefully served herself a cup of tea and smiled at the aroma of peach that emanated from the cup. Sipping at her cup she allowed her eyes to roam Sheldor’s form inquisitively. He had forgo his regular heavy armor and claymore for light blue peasant clothes and no weapon.

They were allies, yes. But going unarmed was insanity.

Sheldor seemed happy to let the silence grow, so after a long sip of tea she cleared her throat before speaking. “Allow me to repeat my question. What are you doing here? If your king wanted an audience he would have sent a regular messenger.”

Sheldor grimaced and nodded. “I…I am here not as part of the kingdom, nor representing my king, nor as a knight. I am here as me, Sheldor.”

Penelope brought a hand up to rub at one of her ears. A bad habit of hers when she needed to think. “I’m listening.”

“My Meemaw…she’s ill.” Sheldor admitted and she could see the deep pain those words brought him.

“Ah!” Penelope nodded to herself, starting to understand. “The healer is unable to find a cure?”

Sheldor nodded and for some reason there was a deep shame on his face.

“Are you sure about this? We’re allies, true. But when the kingdom finds out you made a deal with my court…” She trailed off, not sure why she was so concerned about his fate. Taking a deep breath she shook her head, it didn’t matter. “Very we-”

Penelope was interrupted by her mother’s voice. “STOP!” She and Sheldor looked around, not knowing where the voice had come from, at least until her mother’s head popped up from underneath a hedge. “Stop, stop, stop.” Her mother shook a finger at her and walked briskly towards them, she was covered in leaves and she left a trail of leaves in her wake.

“Mom?” Penelope asked, confused.

“Sheldor, would you mind giving us a moment alone please?” Her mother asked politely and Sheldor nodded before moving towards the fountain sitting in the middle of the garden, the sound of water would mask any conversation. He was being too polite.

Her mother waited until Sheldor was sitting at the fountain before turning green furious eyes at her. “You were about to agree to a deal without requesting payment, weren’t you?”

Penelope turned her face away and scratched at her cheek with a finger. That was true. “Mom, Sheldor is already-” She wanted to tell her mom about how Sheldor would be banished from his court, how that seemed like payment enough. But her mom shushed her, her face a mask of anger and disappointment.

“It seems that at times you forget how heavy the Spring crown truly is. You can’t agree to a deal without payment.”

Penelope threw her hands up. “Fine! Fine! I’ll ask for a prize. Happy now?”

“No. You need to ask for something of equal value. You can’t trick me Penelope. I know you would be asking for something like an ornament or jewelry.”

Damn. Her mom knew her too well.

“No. You know the law. A life for a life.” Her mom nodded gravely after saying that.

“Mom…” Penelope had a hard time keeping the disgust off her voice. Her mom had never been purposefully cruel before, Penelope had admired that. As such, the woman in front of her was a stranger, with her cold voice and sour face.

“You know the law.” Her mom pointed a finger at her face before carefully plucking stray leaves off her dress. “You still have so much to learn. I will be the one to tell Sheldor what prize is needed so your weak little heart doesn’t falter.” With her dress now clean, her mom walked with all the regal poise of a cruel queen towards Sheldor.

Penelope grimaced and rubbed at her face. “Sometimes I hate being the queen.” She muttered low enough that no one would have been able to hear her.

With a feeling of dread she watched as her mom approached Sheldor, sat next to him on the fountain and began talking.

Penelope liked Sheldor, yes, their first meeting was far from ideal. She didn’t know he was a knight and he didn’t know she was the queen-to-be. But she found it refreshing, he didn’t care who she was, he still treated the same after finding out her lineage.

During official ceremonies Sheldor was the one to always protect his king and herself. Of course she had her own knights but she knew for a fact that Sheldor would be ready to jump in to destroy anything that tried to attack her. The eight corpses of the goblin assassins sent to kill her that he laid at her feet were more than proof enough of that. That had been a fun dinner party.

Sheldor didn’t treat her like a delicate flower or like a demon in disguise. For him she was just Penelope.

He had always looked so arrogant, so untouchable. So glorious. And to see him now so defeated in front of her, it twinged at her heart. She wanted to help him, if only a little.

Instead she was watching as her mom spoke to him and his face grew panicked and agitated. Sheldor stood up with a shocked face at something her mother said and then pointed towards Penelope.

Penelope lowered her face, too ashamed to face him, but after a moment she looked back up to see Sheldor with his mouth opened wide as he stared at her mother’s smug and pleased face. Sheldor’s face quickly reddened in obvious anger and he stood in place, shaking in frustration.

Penelope took several quick breaths to get into her role of queen. The die were cast and she could do nothing but continue playing her part.

Soon, a subdued Sheldor followed behind her mother as they both approached the table once more. Penelope’s face was now a mask of calmness that betrayed nothing of her real feelings.

“I’ve spoken to Sheldor and he’s ready to hear what you want as a prize. I will act as overseer of this deal to ensure all requirements are fulfilled to the letter of law.” Her mother seemed to savor the words immensely.

“Is that correct Sheldor?” Penelope asked in a calm voice.

Sheldor’s face was still red, especially around his cheeks. He glanced at her mother and her mother nodded encouragingly at him while keeping her smug look. Sheldor faced her and she expected to see loathing or fear on his face but instead he looked confused, lost and hopeful? “I’m ready.”

“To heal your Meemaw We request a prize of equal value. A life for a life. You must give us-” Her mother cleared her throat loudly.

“Sweetie, not We. Say ‘Me, I, etc.’” Her mother said that in a tone of voice that made it clear this was not optional.

Sighing with annoyance Penelope started over. “To heal your Meemaw I request a prize of equal value. A life for a life. You must hand over to me a first-” Her mother once again cleared her throat loudly.

“No, no. Not ‘a’ but ‘your’. Also, not ‘hand over’ but ‘give’.” That damn tone of voice again.

“To heal your Meemaw ‘I’ request a prize of equal value. A life for a life. You must GIVE me a firstborn” What had started as a rather somber speech had turned into Penelope giving now a very obnoxious speech that fit her mother’s standards.

Her mother harrumphed. “It’ll do. Now Sheldor, just repeat what I told you a moment ago.”

Sheldor still looked confused and he opened his mouth several times but no words came out.

“Get on with it boy.” Her mother used that voice again and made him jump. What a picture they must make, a queen and a royal knight getting scolded.

“Right. I…” Sheldor once again glanced at her mother before focusing on Penelope. He took a deep breath and his face reddened again. “I accept your proposal.”

“Proposa-” Penelope started, she wanted to ask why he answered like that but her mother jumped in before she could get her question out.

“The requirements have been fulfilled! We will have a wedding! Bernhardette!” Her mother announced loudly.

Bernhardette’s head popped out from the same hedge her mother had appeared on, leaves littered her blonde head. “Yes?”

“Wine! Honeycakes! No, first, we must announce the wedding! Come, we have work to do! Ring the bell!” And just as suddenly as her mother had appeared, she disappeared, Bernhardette close on her heels.

Penelope stood there, like a fool. She felt as if she was watching the whole thing from out of her own body. It took her an embarrassingly long moment to catch up with what had just happened. “Wedding?” She asked no one in a breathless voice.

Sheldor suddenly knelt in front of her and took her hand in his. “I will do my best to ensure you have a firstborn in your hands within our first year of marriage.” He had a look of determination on his face.

Penelope still stood there, not fully understanding what was happening. She had so many things running through her mind, she wanted to say many things, ask many things.

“Okay.” She managed to squeak out instead. A thrill of excitement that she refused to acknowledge made its home in her stomach.

***

A tiny beautiful green and blue bird landed on the windowsill of her open window and Connie watched it from her bed.

The bird thrilled a song before the thrill became a woman’s victorious laughter. “I told you it would work.” The bird hopped a happy dance.

Connie easily stood up from the bed and grabbed her pipe before lighting it up. “Your daughter is going to get back at you.” Connie said after a moment, but the smile on her face was one of true happiness.

“Bah! Who cares? Not me. Not while we have grandchildren bouncing on our knees.” The bird made a rude gesture with one of its wings, still hopping around.

“I was getting tired of pretending to be sick. Do you understand how much it sucks not being able to smoke?” Connie grumbled.

“A small price to pay. Now, get off your old butt and start working on the wedding preparations.” The bird didn’t wait for an answer before flying off.

“Yeah, yeah.” Connie grumbled again. She wasn’t too happy with the method but if it got her stupid grandson to admit his feelings then she would stomach it.

Speaking of stomach, time to get real food in her and not that gruel that Mary tried to pass off as edible. She also needed to prepare the briskets to put in the smokehouse.

After all, what kind of wedding would it be if there was no brisket?

fin.