#Goat you’re a dumbass

[kr1s-png]

PB x Goat Shenanigans

I’m having way too much fun working with Cherry🍒and at the same time i’m nervous for what we are coming up with LOL👉👈

Anyway, you should check out her Tiktok, if you somehow don’t follow her yet!!

[allpromarlo]

idk if it’s just me but the southern german childhood experience is being violated by a witch at a faschingsumzug and having lifelong trauma because of it

[whimsyprinx]

idk what I’m gonna do if/when I move out of the south and hear a gunshot cause like it’s so common here to hear a series of shots and like tune it out because ppl here hunt a lot and just like to fuck around with guns whereas in other places a shot ringing out Is Not A Common Everyday Occurrence

[my-name-is-apollo]

Branchus: I’m proud to identify as morosexual.

Branchus: I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively.

Apollo: *accidentally milks a male goat in his attempt to seduce Branchus*

Branchus: *already taking off his clothes* Apollo, you’re so fucking stupid.

[kissitbttr]

So like what’s frat!miguel and the rest of the boys’ reactions to the Kendrick and Drake beef. Cause fuck Drake ofc.

FUCK DRAKE INDEEEEDDD🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

“oh god here we go” gloria sighs exasperatedly, throwing her head back while groaning as muñeca giggles,

“drake is fucking. cooked! yall seeing this shit right?!” carlos points his phone with a finger as he all but wide eyed,

“man i know! certified lover boy certified pedophile?? jesus he’s out for blood!”

“can’t disagree with the man. drake’s been weird since 2015. icky bro”

“remember when he tried to make a move on my girl riri?” carlos asks as if it truly what happened. “ticked him off the box”

“they did date, idiot” chang corrects, “and weren’t you the one who had his album needed to be played for every weekly party we have on?”

“i’m a changed man!” carlos exclaims. “he is sooo lucky he’s not making a move on my babe though—or imma need to beat his ass”

“who?”

“sza, chang! damn it bro, keep up!”

the boys all gathered in the living room, muttering bunch of ‘drake is a piece of shit’ and how ‘kendrick is the goat’ to each other,

“motherfucker really has another kid?? a daughter?! bro what the fuck!”

“man really took the cum and dump too literally”

“i don’t think anyone says that, mayback”

“didn’t he try to flirt with the kid from stranger things?”

a collective of ‘ews’ and gasps filling in the room as they all beginning to get intrigued. carlos even props himself on the stomach and legs kicking up in the air as he watches his frat brother explains the timeline,

it’s like watching girls gossiping at a sleepover

“i don’t see your man joining in” gloria nudges your side who’s munching away on your banana bread. “sucks because i’d love to see him act like a childish. grown up!” gloria speaks the two last words a bit louder so beck could hear,

yet the man only spares a quick glance at his girlfriend and sends a wink,

“jesus” her head shaking in disbelief. “I’m surprised o’hara is the one with a brain”

you disagree by putting a hand on hers, “don’t speak too soon. he’ll be here any second—“

“HAVE YOU ALL. HEARD. MEET THE GRAHAMS?”

a familiar booming voice coming from upstairs, and both of your eyes are quick to look up. seeing it’s miguel with a towel wrapped around his hips and hair wet with a large smile across his face.

you’ve never seen him look so cute.

“now” finishing off your previous sentence as your eyes refuse to leave his while giggling when he nearly trips down the stairs,

“children. all of them” gloria rolls her eyes, sipping on her drink as she glares at beck,

“oh come onnn, they’re happy” you try to change her mind but she simply just glares you too,

the boys cheer at miguel and wave at him to come huddle, wanting him to join all the hip hop gossip that’s been taking a toll on internet.

but not before he runs towards you first,

miguel basically sprints to you, grinning from ear to ear “hiiii mi amor” he squeals before stealing a kiss off your lips, hand gripping on the towel to secure his lower body,

a frown painted across your features. “are you not wearing an underwear or something?”

“i am” he says. “what, does it not look like i am?”

“kind of. i could see the print”

“shit my bad—guess it’s too big” he shrugs, saying it too casually that earns him a look of disapproval from you. one that says ‘i hope you’re not saying that shit in front of girls’ “kidding baby, kidding—hi gloria”

“put some clothes on dumbass”

“damn, i’m doing well, thanks for asking.”

“yeah yeah” she waves him off, not paying anymore attention to your man,

“you seem happy” a comment you drop soon as the grin on his face isn’t washing off,

“of course! drake is getting his ass dragged. who’s not happy?”

“just that?”

“just that” he confirms, grabbing an apple from the counter. “me and the boys were talking about it during class. apparently they all agreed with what i had in mind”

“oh? and that is?” you find this so amusing, you have to indulge,

“drake is a piece of shit!” he yells with a mouthful of an apple, earning another cheer from his brothers. “had his song on repeat during class, practice, work—kendrick’s insane”

“tell your man that he’s exaggerating. why is he participating on this damn beef” gloria mentions, “idiot”

“your man is in it too!” miguel defends,

“then you’re both idiots! he hasn’t shut up ever since euphoria dropped! can’t even suck his dick without him mumbling the lyrics non-stop”

miguel furrows, glancing at beck for a second before moving back to look at gloria. “okay that’s weird—you’re staying tonight, muñeca?”

head shaking, you almost feel bad at the deflated look on his face. “can’t baby—i’ll sleep over on a thursday, okay?”

“but whyyy” he whines, unbeknownst to gloria wincing in disgust before she moves away from the two of you. “you never say no”

“finals week, handsome” you move a piece of dampen hair that clings against his forehead. “i have to study and i’m tutoring too now, remember?”

“why can’t you study here then?” he moves closer to you. “in my room—together”

“miguel it’s for my english lit class, not sex ed” you roll your eyes. “you have me any other day, aren’t you bored?”

“blasphemy—again” he disagrees. “i get bored without you” a pout form on his lips in which you admit looking awfully cute that you almost cave in. “plus what am i supposed to hump? my pillow? i need sex! with you!”

you grimace. “you need a therapy, miggy”

[fatherless-behavior-prompts]

What We Do In the Shadows Prompts

"Stab this man."

"Last night there were all these people down there shouting and screaming half drunk."

"Please finish a whole victim before moving on to the next one."

"It's a lovely service, but I'm on fire."

"I'm not going to do this if he's pissing on the wall."

"Would say he's blessedly unburdened with the complications of a university education, but give him an ax and he's second to none."

"I am going to sprinkle it on my face and on my body. Like Twilight."

"And now I am a wizard!"

"This fucking guy."

"Sir, you can’t be throwing ancient coins at me."

"No, I am pillaging everyone, you included."

"She speaks the bullshit."

"Actually, I live in my own basement, dumbass."

"Why are you married to these boiled potatoes?"

"You’re supposed to support me when I want to murder someone!"

"The witches have been toying with our rugs again!"

"No nuns. None."

“Tonight is a good night for the other guy, not me, to die.”

"It’s very official. It came in an envelope."

"I hate this goat."

"I think you just need a little updog…"

"I have the power of 1000 cowboys running through my veins."

[onetoomanyfandomfixations]

Yuki, Kyo, Kagura, Momiji, Tohru with a reader from zodiac

FRUBA CHARACTERS W ZODIAC!READER

((reader’s zodiac is based off of western/greek zodiac signs; will be capricorn!reader))

YUKI

Is so shocked to find out there is a second zodiac curse

So grateful that there are more people like him

^^feels really bad about this

Bc y’all aren’t from the same zodiac - physical touch is even more dangerous

I mean,, imagine seeing not only a rat surrounded by clothes, but a weird goat-fish hybrid???

Regardless, tries to have physical contact with you whenever possible

Linking pinkies, resting his head on your shoulder, being shockingly close at all times,,

Is worried about ur scales dehydrating when you transform - tries to keep water on him for you

Makes sure you never feel insecure about your zodiac form like he does

Has a really lovely feeling of solidarity w you

Would do anything to protect your secret

Because he knows you would do the same

KYO

Straight up thinks you’re lying at first

“There’s no fuckin way”

You tackle him to prove it

“wtf that’s not even a real animal????”

Gets v flustered when u transform back

Mans is fine being naked, but seeing other naked ppl?

Hell nah

Eventually just kinda takes you under his wing w an annoyed sigh

So so touch adverse; is so scared of you seeing his true form

Like with the rest of his zodiac - wishes he was like you

So envious, but in a way that carries a deep sadness

Shows his affection through banter and friendly violence

((Mans will not hold your hand; however will kick you behind the knees - gentle enough as to not hurt, but hard enough to make you lose balance))

Scolds you for anything that could put your secret at risk

“How did you even survive before you met me, dumbass?”

KAGURA

So so excited to learn there is another curse

“We’re the same!!”

Is jealous of your animal form

You’re a cool, cute, mythical animal; and she’s just a pig?? Unfair!!

Constantly lets you know how unfair this is

Pretty upset that she can’t cling to you all the time

She just wants to show you how much she loves you, y’know?

Ironically, tries to do alot of mud and clay treatments to your skin and scales

Loves loves self care nights together

Isn’t opposed to cuddling when no one else is around, despite animals and then nudity

Doesn’t care if you see her naked

But anyone else???

Instantly branded a pervert.

Tries to keep you all to herself; “to keep the curse a secret, of course!!”

MOMIJI

Another one that is genuinely Thrilled to find out there are more like him

But is also instantly worried

“Who’s your god? What are they like?”

When you assure him that you’re safe, is So relieved

Even after this, is nosy as all hell lmao

Wants to know Everything about Everyone

“So you are Capricorn, ja? Who is Pisces? Because I am a pisces too!!”

Thinks your zodiac form is adorable!

Loves sitting in-between your horns when you’re both transformed

Unsurprisingly; will be exceedingly touchy-feely regardless of transformations

Mans does not give a single flying Fuck

Even when ur in public and have to be careful of transforming - is never Not touching you

Holding hands galore!!

Shows you off to the rest of the zodiac

But doesn’t let you anywhere near Akito

You’re too precious

TOHRU

Feels so blessed to be meeting more special and unique people

Is very vocal about this

Is also V nosy; but not in a malicious way

Plays guessing games as she meets everyone

((Usually gets it wrong))

Doesn’t know as much about the Western zodiacs, but is very excited to learn!

Very very cautious to make sure you don’t transform

Thinks you’re beautiful and fascinating when you do though!!

But wants to keep you safe

However, its a well known fact that she’s one clumsy mf

Me too, Tohru, me too

Will tell the most Wack cover stories for you

Wants you to be besties with her zodiac

[lynn-vdg]

HALLO!!! Im Reading the jjk manga right now so just checking in because it has invaded my brain and rraaaaaaaah jjk jjk jjk… 😭 I BLAME U FOR THIS (I love jjk)

First of all, I LOVE THAT LAWYER SORCERER, he seems genuinely cool and he just reminds me of ace attorney tbh, Edgeworth if he was a jjk character FOR REAL

And this panel is also SO CUTE ONG.. YOU WERE RIGHT YES I AGREE WITH THE FACT THAT CHOSO IS THE BEST. Yuji deserves his brothers for realsies, THEY ARE BOTH AWESOME. And I keep seeing stuff saying how Todo VS Choso would go down, but I kinda think Todo would respect Choso (and ask for his workout routine MAHAHAH)

I’m even starting to get MY FRIENDS to watch it. DeterminedFanartist, aka my pookie 4evahs, IS ALSO WATCHING IT RIGHT NOW!!! My irl bruh called Choso “Cheese” and they ALL SIMP OVER GOJO. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY IRLS SIMP OVER GOJO IT IS CRAAZZZYY…

Maki’s power up WAS DESERVED and oh mah lord… I’m on chapter 202 AND KENJAKU WAS MANIPULATING MAH AMERICAN GOVERNMENT IS KENJAKU 2024 REAL?!?!! 🤩🤩🤩🤩 He’d be my president 🫡🫡🫡🇺🇸🇺🇸🏈🏈🏈🌎🌎🔫🔫🔫💪💪💪

About to read chapter 203 and… no… wtf like IT IS ALREADY STARTING OFF LIKE THIS. A “you will die” IN ANY MANGA THAT ISN’T STATED TO THE MAIN CHARACTER IS NOT GOOD NEWS…

Praying… praying right now I know EVERYONE is dying in this series but pllleaaseee GEGE LET ME HAVE THIS ONE THING PLEASE PLEASE DON’T TAKE HIIIMMMM PLEASE NO NO NO PPPLLEAASEEE 💔💔💔😭😭😭😭😭💔🥺🥺🥺😢😔😔😱😱😢😢😔😔😔😔

Anyways you weren’t lying when you said you were in your inactive arc, hoping you join me back soon DON’T LEAVE ME HERE MICHAEL MICHAEEEEEEELLLL 🔥🔥🔥🔥

I AM ALWAYS RIGHT! MY TASTE IN MEN IS IMPECCABLE! 😈 And yeah you”re SO RIGHT I fucking LOVE Higuruma (Miles edgeworth looking ass.) I don’t know how Gege always cooks so hard when it comes to characters 😩, Yuji’s and Choso’s relationship especially, HE’S THE COOK WHO COOKED UP OTHER COOKS 🙏 And i’m glad my jjk brainrot virus is spreading throughout the utmv/utc or whatever the flippio you call it at this point-

Also my fucking GOAT Maki out here destroying those dumbass sexists is absolute GIRL. BOSS. BEHAVIOR.

Ya better read up, cause in 3 weeks JJK ENDS. actually crazy but it’s true 😭 I miss it already….

Also, another suggestion, if you haven’t watched or read it is Jojo’s bizarre adventure 🤑, outside of part 1 which I dislike and part 3 which was boooooring, part 4 onwards is absolute peak, ESPECIALLY part 7 and 8 (sadly no anime for those yet 😔)

As for my inactive arc, i’ll try to revive more often, because i’ve actually just straight up been DEAD outside of looking at some random notifications I got, ALSO WHAT RLLY PISSES ME OFF IS WHEN I GET A NOTIFICATION ABOUT A SPECIFIC POST AND I CLICK ON IT AND IT JUST TAKES ME TO MY FEED, Like bitch I came to look at a specific post not search up that specific account and go through their posts 😭

As for why i’ve been dead eeehhh it’s mostly just I forgot a bit about Tumblr and started using Discord a whole lot more, not to mention i’m working on utc games 🤑 (Oh fuck, i’m in the money! I love money 🤑)

Now, my final question before I dump my doodles on you…

“Are you brainrotted because you’re 3dogbones, or are you 3dogbones because you’re brainrotted.”

I would post more doodles but there’s a 10 image limit 😭

[whatdoidosatoru]

Sweet Nothings

PART 4 of The Only Exception

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - ao3 wc: 4938 pairing: Baji x OC (reader insert bc oc is very vaguely described) tags: smut, oral sex (f and m receiving), face-sitting, fingering, thigh-fucking, dirty talk, penetrative sex, he's so nice!!!!!

tag list: @bontensbabygirl @mrsryuguji - thank you so much for expressing interest for this fic I genuinely feel like crying when I think about it!

summary: post-exam stress turns into a fun night meeting Baji's friends :)

music:

Sweet Nothings - Neck Deep

Just The Girl - The Click Five

She’s a God - Neck Deep

Last of the Real Ones - Fall Out Boy

You and I - Anarbor

Feeling This - blink-182

Closer - Nine Inch Nails

MINORS DNI!!!! 18+

Baji

The following week went by incredibly slowly. Yuna and I had classes and work so we couldn’t see each other, but we kept messaging throughout most of our days, apart from when we were working.

Every time I felt my phone vibrating I felt giddy, like a teenager in love. The feeling was explosive, overwhelming. That girl will be the death of me. Even Chifuyu couldn’t help but notice and take the piss out of me for it.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you smile this much since you stopped beating people up for shits and giggles.”

“Piss off, Chifuyu, I’m the embodiment of sunshine. I’m always smiling.”

Chifuyu laughed, “Sure, that’s why that old lady ran away when she saw you in front of our building today. Because you’re too cheerful.”

I flipped him off, still grinning at my phone and the latest selfie from Yuna while Chifuyu was setting up a show for us to watch.

Yuna🖤💙, 21:36

if my future werent on the line id just sleep in tomorrow tbh my eyes cannot stay open anymore midterms will be the death of me fuck this shit wanna move in with me in a cottage in the middle of nowhere and own some goats off the grid well get some cats as well ill take my dog back from my parents just us and animals and sometimes mai you can invite matsuno to visit tell him to bring us books when he visits

Boyfriend Material🧛🏻, 21:40

You’ve definitely got a good plan there But please go to sleep, you need rest before your exam <3 I’ll be home by the time you’ve finished and you can come over for lunch if you’d like

Yuna🖤💙, 21:42

thats kinda making me wet ngl

Boyfriend Material🧛🏻, 21:43

Lunch is making you wet? Have I told you how weird you are?

Yuna🖤💙, 21:43

you making me food and also coming to your place is, dumbass but anyway! off to sleep i go, tell matsuno im taking him up on that challenge to beat his ass in uno when i meet him good night hot stuff <3

Boyfriend Material🧛🏻, 21:44

Go to sleep, woman! And have the best dreams, preferably of me c; And good luck!!!! For tomorrow!! I know you’ll smash it!!! <33333

“Yuna’s coming over tomorrow after her exam to wipe the floor with you in uno.”

Chifuyu threw his head back and let out a villainous laugh.

“Does she know she’s talking to a master strategist and an uno master?"

“Listen, I know you’re my best friend an-”

“Brother, but continue.”

“....and all that. But if I’m not in her corner I don’t have sex. So if I have to make team Yuna t-shirts don’t be surprised.”

To that, he launched a piece of popcorn at me.

~

When I got back from work I jumped into the shower, counting down the minutes until Yuna came. When I finished making noodles, she rang the bell to be let upstairs. I all but sprinted to the door to let her in, standing with the apartment door open, just in my towel, waiting to see her face.

“I hope that food I smell is for me because if I don’t have something in my mouth in a minute I’ll riot.”

She was grumpy and tired, it was obvious from the way she dragged her feet on the stairs.

“I’ve got something you can put in your mouth.”

“Baji-kun I’m gonna bite it off.”

“Ooooh ‘Baji-kun’? I didn't think you were this serious. The food is ready, there will be no need for biting off my dick, you hater.”

Yuna reached up to grab my face and kissed it before making her way inside. She’d never been inside my apartment before, but the kitchen was right next to the front door, so she didn’t have to wander before lunch. I served her the food, sitting down next to her to eat and hear about her day.

“...and I knew he was going to put that ridiculous text in the exam and I almost screamed when I saw it. Unfortunately, Hana said she didn’t even get to that part with her revision so I didn’t have anyone to check the answers with.”

She practically inhaled the noodles and vegetables, doing a little dance as she ate.

“But anyway, I’m getting the results in a week, which is shit because if I failed it’s gonna ruin the whole night out! These are amazing by the way. I haven’t eaten all day until now so sorry if I was hangry.”

She was tripping her own sentences, trying to say everything at once. All I wanted to do was grab her face and smother her in affection, but I was trying to give her space to relax and reach out when she wanted to.

When I told her about my day, we moved to my bedroom. As she was taking it all in, lingering on the vinyl collection, I towel-dried my hair and started to look for some clothes to put on, but she stopped me, dragging me toward the bed and pushing me down.

“I could hardly focus on what you were saying earlier.”

“Something on your mind, sweetheart?”

“The food was amazing, but I want to taste you.”

Oh. I see. She unwrapped the towel from around my hips with a pleading look in her eyes. I pulled her hair up and used her own hair tie from my wrist to tie it back. With a soft smile, she took my cock into her mouth, not breaking eye contact.

My eyes rolled back and I struggled to keep myself sitting up to look at her. All I wanted was to lie down and process the sensation, but the intensity in her gaze was somehow holding me in place, the only thing moving was my mouth to let out a moan.

“Fuck it’s so warm,” I managed to squeeze out as she nodded, hummed in affirmation, and licked along my slit, teasing with her soft tongue. I wanted to burn this into the insides of my eyelids - Yuna on her knees between my legs, one hand on my balls, the other on my shaft, and her beautiful mouth enveloping my cock, hollowed-out cheeks as she sucked in air around it, her head bobbing up and down slightly, and most importantly, her eyes gazing into mine like she was memorising every detail of my face that was twisting into expressions of pure pleasure.

“Your mouth is so pretty-ah-when you do this. Fuck you’re so hot like this.”

My words just kept coming. She needed to know how she made me feel and it seemed to make her hollow out her cheeks even more and suck with more intensity - I felt my orgasm coming rapidly.

“I’m so close sweets, can you take it?”

In reply her hand found mine and placed it on her ponytail so I gripped it tight, leading her into the pace I needed to finally exhale and spurt cum into her throat. She carefully removed her mouth from my cock and opened it to show me milky white cum on her tongue, promptly swallowing it and showing me her empty mouth.

I groaned and pulled her into my lap for a deep kiss, her hands flew to the back of my head to grip my hair and she was straddling my lap. My hands were holding her hips tightly squeezing her skin and I could feel the heat radiating from her pussy.

She started rubbing myself on my thigh, but only slightly. I held her tighter and moved her hips back and forth, intensifying the friction between her core and my leg. She started moaning into my mouth and keeping the pace on her own, clearly getting more and more pleasure than just with her own small movements.

“Keisuke I need you,” her moans were so cute, barely pronouncing my name through whines.

I pulled her off my lap to unbutton her jeans and take them off along with her underwear.

“How do you want me?” She moaned into my mouth as I swiped my fingers through her wet folds.

“All to myself, sweetness, but I’ll make do with your pussy on my face for now.”

I could feel her arousal leaking, soon to be smeared on my face. I lay on my back, waiting for her to position herself over me, she gripped the bed frame and hovered above me.

“I’m gonna need you to get lower, can’t reach you like this.” I grabbed her thighs to try and lower her.

“I’m scared I’ll crush you!”

How cute.

“What a way to die, feasting on your sweetness, suffocated by sweet,” I lightly slapped her thigh where it met her ass, “soft thighs of a gorgeous woman. Now sit.”

With that, I pulled her all the way onto my face and, as soon as she was met with my eager tongue, she let out a scrumptious moan. I licked a long strip from her entrance all the way to her clit and started circling the soft sensitive bud and spelling out my name on it. Every time the tip of my tongue finished an S, I could feel her thighs twitch, making me dig my fingers into her.

Her moans turned to whimpers, whimpers to cries, and with a breathy cry of my name she tightened…and let go. I drank her release slowly, gently, to not overwhelm her, and let go of her thighs. She collapsed on the bed next to me, breathing heavily.

“I’ve…fuck I’ve never done that before.” With a quick roll, I was above her, pinning her to the bed and kissing her deeply, making her taste herself on my lips.

“Stick around and this won’t be the last time.” I winked at her and helped her up to put her clothes on.

I rummaged around my wardrobe looking for a minute and pulled out a dark grey band hoodie. Yuna’s eyes widened when I handed it to her.

“I told you I’d give you a hoodie you can sniff like a weirdo.”

“Kei…The Black Parade? If I had any energy left I’d cry. Thank you."

She launched herself at me with arms wide open. I embraced her tightly and kissed the top of her head. If I’d known this would make her so happy I would’ve done it right away. She got her book bag and I went to put the plates away before we went to her flat to get her things.

I couldn’t believe my absolute luck that I got to flaunt her in front of my friends and she agreed to sleep over tonight. I was practically skipping on the way to hers. We were holding hands again and I swear I could feel her smile burning into the side of my head every time I stopped looking at her.

~

She packed up a pyjama top, toothbrush, some skincare stuff, and makeup while I was looking through her bookshelf, picking up some books to see what she read.

“Why doesn’t it say what they’re about on the back? Who is the Guardian and why am I supposed to care that they think this book is ‘moving and engaging by turns, with an ending to blow down walls’? Just tell me the plot dammit!”

Yuna laughed softly, “Unfortunately, it’s all too common these days. That’s why I rely on the internet.”

Placing the book back, my gaze went over a nail polish basket. Out of curiosity I picked up a few bottles to look at them more closely and was met with a light chuckle from the door.

“You want me to paint your nails, Kei?”

“I wouldn’t mind that. Do you have black?”

“Do I have….Baji Keisuke look at me and ask me that again.” She couldn’t keep a serious face on, immediately grinning at me.

“Fair point, so will you do it?”

She walked over to me, all of her stuff packed into a rucksack, and placed a kiss on my fingers.

“Of course. You’ll look even hotter with black nail polish on while you’re fingering me.”

Immediate hard-on. It wasn’t fair.

~

On our way back to mine, we stopped by a shop to get some snacks and drinks for tonight, I could feel Yuna growing more anxious by the minute. Having arrived at the apartment, I got to dusting and cleaning up while Yuna excused herself to my bedroom to put on some makeup - something about feeling more put together to help with her nerves. Chifuyu was on his way home from work so he should be the first one out of the group to meet her. 

Twisted Firestarter, 14:26 She’s really nervous rn Please be nice to her Or I’ll burn your pillows c:

ChiFOOLyu, 14:27 I’M ALWAYS NICE I get it man don’t touch my stuff if you don’t want to be strangled in your sleep :D I’m home in 20 mins 

Twisted Firestarter, 14:28 Just saying, the gang might be too much to handle so it’s be nice if she had another person apart from me to talk to

ChiFOOLyu, 14:29 👌

~

There was a knock on the door and a faint voice coming in, “I hope both of you are dressed because I don’t need any more jump scares today!”

With that, Chifuyu unlocked the front door and walked in, tossed his keys on the shelf in the hallway, and took his boots off before walking over to us sitting on the couch. Yuna took a deep breath and grinned at him, immediately turning to banter to mask her nervousness.

“Matsuno-kun, I heard you think you could hold a candle to my absolute domination at card games?”

Chifuyu all but threw himself onto the couch next to her, acting like they’d known each other for years.

“My deepest apologies, Yuna-sensei. All I want is a chance to play against a world-renowned master such as yourself. And you can call me Chifuyu, no need to be so formal.”

“Okay Fufu, but chumminess is not going to make me go easy on you.” She said with a wink. I liked seeing her growing more and more relaxed with Chifuyu, even though she was nervous as all hell earlier.

“Fufu? Aight…are you painting your nails, Keisuke?” He clocked one of my hands spread across Yuna’s lap, the other in the air trying not to smudge the freshly applied coat of black nail polish.

“I’m pretty sure you have eyes, Chi, Yuna is painting them, not me. And what of it?” I knew he didn’t mean anything negative by it, but it wouldn’t be us if we didn’t tease each other for no reason.

“Fuck off trying to insinuate shit. Yuna, could you paint mine as well? Might make me seem more badass since I’m not fighting anym-” A silent, but intense look in my eyes made him stop talking and smile at Yuna instead.

Yuna lifted her head to look at him when she finished painting my other hand and reached for Chifuyu after instructing me to be careful not to smudge anything.

“Wow your cuticles are so neat,” she inspected his hands before taking the nail polish and started applying, “what happened to your face anyway? That scratch looks fresh.”

They started chatting about all the cats we get at work and how some are absolute bastards to take care of, sometimes we get scratched up. Just looking at the energy between the two of them was soothing.

I no longer had to worry about there being any awkwardness in Yuna meeting my friends. I was still waiting for her answer to being my girlfriend, hopefully, tonight might make her see she is wanted and I wouldn’t hide her away.

~

A few hours later, after we dried our nails and joked around with Yuna, my phone rang. When I picked up, I could hear two sets of voices, one clearly not talking to me, the other trying to be loud enough for me to hear, but unfortunately loud enough that I had to move the phone away from my ear.

“MIKEY FORGOT WHICH BUTTON HE NEEDS TO PRESS CAN YOU BUZZ US IN,” I could hear Mitsuya shouting over Mikey and Draken arguing in the background.

I hung up and pressed the button next to the porta phone, waiting for them to make their way to my door. They were still arguing over who knew which button to press when they walked in and I took the pizza boxes from Mitsuya’s hands.

“Yeah well, it’s Baji’s fault for not having us over anymore.”

“It’s not like we ever needed an invitation?”

“Yeah well, Mr.Big Shot over here is too busy for his best friends because he’s going to be a very important vet someday.”

“I live here, too! You can come and visit me!” Chifuyu shouted at them from the couch where he was keeping Yuna company.

Mikey’s gaze stopped on Yuna’s face as she shyly waved and smiled at them.

“Oh hey, new best friend. I’m Mikey, you’re Yuna, right?” He flashed her an angelic smile, earning a smack to the back of his head from Draken.

“Behave, Mikey.” Draken shook his head, reaching to shake Yuna’s hand, and walking back to the kitchen with me, handing me the watermelon he brought with him.

We cut it together and moved the pizzas to the coffee table while Mikey and Mitsuya were trying to be normal around Yuna. Chifuyu seemed to be fending off Mikey’s overbearing closeness pretty well so Draken and I could bring all the drinks and cups to the gathering spot. 

I sat next to Yuna, sharing the couch with Chifuyu, while Draken was spread out on the other one, Mikey sitting on the floor with Mitsuya. I had plugged my phone into the big speaker under the TV and played some music as background noise to our conversations.

Yuna seemed to be enjoying the company, often being asked about her studies and hobbies. When she wasn’t talking I could hear her humming along to the music and tapping her fingers on my leg in the rhythm of whatever was on. I passed her some pizza and fruit to eat, which she accepted with a massive smile on her face.

Mikey ended up falling asleep curled up on the floor while Chifuyu was arguing with Draken about who bought pizza the last time we had a gathering like this one.

~

“DID YOU JUST BLUE SHELL ME YUNA I SWEAR TO EVERYTHING HOLY-” Chifuyu was getting frustrated at nearly winning at Mario Kart - again.

Yuna just playfully chuckled and continued playing, Draken taking the opportunity to speed past him and win the race, sharing a conspiratorial smirk with Yuna.

“That’ll teach you not to knock me into the mud next time.” She replied, smacking him on the arm.

I took the controller from his hands and started a new race, ready to obliterate everyone involved.

~

It was late by the time the guys left, but I wasn’t tired in the slightest. Yuna’s face was blushed from everyone complimenting her and being really nice and genuine with her, as they should’ve been. She helped Chifuyu clean up the plates and glasses and I accompanied her to the bathroom to brush our teeth and for her to remove her makeup.

“I’ve been thinking…” She started.

“Oh no, what about?”

“Kei I’m serious. I’ve had a really good time tonight. Everyone seemed so genuine and friendly.”

“They can be, yeah. That’s why I’ve been friends with them for the past, uhhh, I want to say around ten years, give or take.”

“I want to be your girlfriend, Kei.”

I stood there, completely shocked, with the toothbrush forgotten in my mouth, staring at her reflection in the mirror. Her lips were stretched into a smile, toothbrush still in her mouth, and all I could think about was how I wanted this moment to last forever in its glorious bliss. I quickly spat the toothpaste out and rinsed my mouth, grabbed her hips and spun her around to face me

“You’re sure? I don’t want you to rush your decision just for my sake.”

“I wasn’t planning on rushing it, dumbass, it just feels right.”

I let my hands roam up and down her hips while she finished brushing her teeth and immediately pulled her in for a deep kiss. For the first time as a couple. I picked her up, causing her to break out into a fit of giggles and wrap her legs around my waist, and carried her into my bedroom, walking past Chifuyu, who was still sitting on the couch scrolling on his phone.

“Hey Yuna, maybe we-”

I cut him off before he could stop us, “Not now, pal, my girlfriend and I are a bit busy at the moment.”

“Girlfriend?! Congrats bro!” He returned to his phone, grinning, no doubt alerting the group chat.

As soon as I shut the bedroom door and dropped her on my bed I began undressing, Yuna giggled trying to take her t-shirt off,

“‘My girlfriend and I are a bit busy’ I love the sound of that, mister boyfriend Baji Keisuke.”

I put my hair up into a ponytail and hungrily began kissing up her legs to where her panties started.

“Shhh I’m busy kissing my girlfriend,” I murmured between the kisses, “my beautiful girlfriend,” I nipped at her panties and rolled them down to her ankles, “my gorgeous girlfriend that I’ve somehow managed to pull,” with one hand I held her hips down while the other went to her clit to softly rub it, “my perfect girlfriend who’s going to be so good for me right now and tell me how she wants to cum, hm?”

I looked up at her and, holy shit, her face was already scrunched up in pleasure, her mouth slightly open, her breaths coming out in sharp puffs. One of my fingers was sucked into her needy hole, curling upwards to press on her sensitive spot. She whined at the sensation, squirming under my hand.

“I asked you something, Yuna. How do you want to cum?”

She half-opened her eyes and with a strained voice slurred, “On your fingers, please, Kei.”

How could I not oblige when she asked so nicely?

I inserted another finger into her, attaching my lips to her clit and slowly swirling my tongue around it, drawing sinful moans out of her mouth. She grabbed my hair to bring me even closer to her and I could feel her soft walls tightening around my fingers.

Yuna let out a cry and her juices coated my fingers, I just couldn’t help but lick them clean, before squeezing her thighs and pressing kisses along them, biting to leave marks behind. Making my way up to her, she ran her hands all over my body, admiring me with glassy eyes and hair all over my pillow and her face.

I hoped she wouldn’t mind a little bit of roughness, seeing her spayed out on the bed like that, with her eyes closed, hair sticking to her forehead, made me feel like a wild animal. Like I could bite her flesh forever, leave little reminders of myself on her thighs and hips, which is exactly what I did. She mewled in pleasure whenever I started biting a new bruise into her soft skin.

“Kei it’s s’good,” she was already slurring.

I pulled away and pressed her legs together in the air in front of me, placing my painfully hard erection between her thighs.

“Hope you don’t mind waiting a little more before I fuck you.”

She whined in response as I started pumping my cock through her thighs. Her soft, plush skin felt heavenly on my wanting erection, it grazed her pussy with each thrust, and soon enough I was keeping a steady pace. Her face was flush in frustration, her hips lifting to get more friction on her puffy clit, little whines falling from her lips as she couldn’t get what she was after.

When I was close to finishing I dropped her legs, knees falling towards her chest, and leaned down to grip her lips into a deep kiss. She smelled like freshly squeezed oranges, refreshing my mind as I breathed in her scent. Yuna’s hands roamed across my back and settled in my hair, scratching my scalp, in turn making me shiver with the sensation.

I aligned my cock with her dripping core and dragged it along her soft, puffy folds to make her sigh in frustration one more time before I sunk into her warm, spongy walls.

The noise that came out when I fully sheathed my length into her was something I would be chasing for the rest of my life. A long, sinful moan of anticipated reward that was finally here after all the teasing.

“She’s sucking me in so well, so obsessed with me,” I couldn’t help but tease as her pussy clenched around my dick with every thrust.

Yuna looked up at me, glaring, and managed to bite out,

“Maybe she was feeling ignored while you were playing with my thighs instead!”

So cute while she was angry.

“Don’t be a hater, Yuna, or next time I’ll only fuck your thighs and make you beg for attention to your cunt.”

That shut her up and made her roll her eyes, her attitude was immediately cut short when I slammed my hips into hers and made her gasp louder than before. I chuckled and pressed a kiss onto her lips, licking her bottom lip, before pushing myself up and pressing her legs as far to her chest as she could handle, getting a better angle to thrust into her deeper than before.

She cried out in pleasure when I picked up the pace, my mouth couldn’t contain grunts as her warm walls drew me in and clenched around me - with my name on her lips she came and a ring of white formed around my base. Her orgasm only made me more feral, slamming into her drenched pussy with a ferocity I hadn’t used before, as her moans turned more and more desperate, borderline pornographic.

“Kei please slow-fuck-down ‘s ah too much!” She was half-slurring her words, eyes shut, mouth open in ecstasy. I slowed down for a few thrusts to oblige.

“Overwhelmed?” I asked her, to which she only nodded lightly.

With a grin I slammed into her harder, still not speeding up, but she didn’t say anything about roughness. I grabbed her legs and hugged them tightly, resting her calves on my shoulders. I lazily dragged my cock in and out of her, barely putting in any effort, waiting for her to beg me to speed up again.

I didn’t have to wait long, but this pace made me feel so needy, I wanted to pound into her like it was my last night on earth, I wanted to make her scream my name so loudly that there would be no doubt in anyone’s mind about who was making her see stars.

When she finally spoke again my cock twitched inside of her with excitement.

“Kei baby faster please,” She whined and I had half a mind to jump on the request, but the other part of me wanted to make her beg.

“You sure you can take it, sweetheart?”

“I want it, please.”

“How much?”

“Mmm-what?”

“How much do you want it?” I wanted to watch her squirm with want.

“I need it. I need you, Keisuke. I need your cock deep and fast,” her eyes were glistening, “please.”

With that I doubled my thrusts, her moans immediately rising in pitch. Her fucked-out face scrunching up while her mouth hung open, lewd moans slipping past her soft lips. I wanted to kiss them, but this position was just too good to stop. I grunted with my quick movements while her toes curled on each side of my neck. The next best thing to do was to kiss her ankles, making her chuckle mid-moan.

“Kei ‘m sooooo close don’t-fuck-don’t stop!” Yuna was gasping for air at this point and I was almost at my tipping point, desperate to spill inside of her.

I reached down to smack her ass and draw out another whine from her mouth, she was trying to say my name again, but all that came out was a long moan as her walls contracted around my dick once more, releasing another orgasm and making her spasm in front of me.

That was enough to milk my cock of everything I had in me, long ropes of cum spurted on her walls and I slowed down to ride it out with her. I slowly pulled out, some of our cum very lazily leaking out of her abused hole. With a kiss to her swollen clit, I gently pushed her up to the pillows and went to the bathroom to get her a warm towel while trying to ignore Chifuyu’s protesting about my walking out of my bedroom naked.

After cleaning her up (gently, trying to shush her overstimulated whines), I lay in bed next to her and drew her closer into my chest. She released a happy humming sound and almost immediately started snoring. I could definitely get used to this, I whispered into the back of her head,

“You’ll be the death of me, sweetheart, I feel like I’m falling in love.”

[paipie0]

Today I went on an unhinged rant about a moment in the Chinese Novel Reverend Insanity.

It was in the comment section of a meme about how Dong Fan Chang Fan convinced his clan that killing them and his son to create a new body to revive in was ok… by mentioning how Ren Zu killed his daughter in the Legends of Ren Zu. (Ren Zu didn’t even kill his daughter, he just left her behind in the ordinary abyss and spent a long time regretting it and tried super hard to meet her again)

In reaction to that meme, I started ranting about a scene in volume 2 which I’ve read almost a year ago but somehow didn’t forget it:

Bro remember how some senior in the Tie clan tried to encourage Tie Rou Nan after she saw her clan mates get wiped out by FY? He said she should cheer up because those Gu Masters died gloriously in battle, and since Verdant Great Sun in the Legends of Ren Zu died by bathing in too much glory of the light from the immemorial era, this shows that glory is worth dying for.

The whole moral of that story is to don’t get too far ahead of yourself like Verdant Great Sun did, he ignored all the warnings about the light of glory and paid the price with his life. It’s inspired by the story of Icarus who literally flew too close to the Sun. Verdant Great Sun is an example of what not to do. How the fuck did that senile old fuck completely miss the point and see a circle.

The Righteous faction have negative reading comprehension. Someone with 0 reading comprehension would at least take it literally and think that the story is telling everyone that flying in the light of glory will get you killed if you’re not careful. Righteous cultivators manage to delve into the negatives by thinking that the story is telling you to bathe in the light of glory and die.

No wonder they have to cultivate Heaven Path, these dumbasses can’t even get ordinary attainment in the Human path. (And that’s why Spectral Soul is my goat)

[vivid-dreamscapes]

~♡~ Love’s captive duel ~♡~

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

“You two remember when we made Nomu’s out of corpses?” The two of you nodded wearily and Dabi smirked. “Well we’re trying to do the same thing—with living, breathing people.”

You and Bakugou’s eyes widened as Dabi spoke. No. They weren’t actually going to do that, were they? There’s no way they would actually even consider that.

The blind shit was the first to speak, his red eyes flashing with shocked rage. “What? Why?!”

“Why else? They’re strong, tough, ruthless, deadly.”

“You’re insane!”

Dabi smirked simply, running his tongue along his teeth as Kai gave the two of you a matching, toothy smirk. “And you two are the perfect test subjects! You’re both powerful. Technically, Y/n was the only one we were gonna test on, but you a bonus!”

Bakugou was furious. He didn’t even have words for how angry he was right now. They were going to turn you, and him, into some lifeless killing machine?! “No! Like hell I’m letting you turn me into some goddamn zombie!”

“You have no choice in this matter, Hothead.” Dabi said as Kai walked into the cell. He kneeled down, removing the cuffs from your ankle and grabbing the crook of your elbow.

With a rough tug, he pulled you out of the cell, shutting the door as you shouted profanities at the goat boy.

The other UA student watched as Kai pulled you out of the cell against your will and the door slammed shut in front of him. He was stunned, just standing there in shock, before realization set in.

“Wait- no!” Bakugou ran forwards and grabbed at the cell door, shaking the bars as he shouted at you and the villains. “Get back here damnit! Let her go!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a week. A well of tests daily on the both of you, only to be thrown right back into you cell.

Bakugou let out a groan as he slumped down on the wall. He was completely exhausted, and it showed. The past week was hell, being hauled out of the cell every day and going through the tests. It took a lot out of him. “When are these assholes gonna call it quits?”

You sighed from your own cot, staring up at the ceiling. The bags under your eyes were bigger than you’d like to admit, and you were covered in cuts. “When we’ve finally become brainless Nomus.”

The blonde let out a huff as he rolled his eyes at your words. It was a sad, but true, sentence. They were going to keep testing them and testing them until they finally got what they wanted. “We can’t sit here and do nothing.”

He said, pulling himself into a sitting position. His body ached in response to the movement, but he ignored it. He needed to get out of here. He wouldn’t allow himself to become a mindless killing machine. Ever.

“We’ve been trying to escape for days. We haven’t found a way yet.” You said with a raised eyebrow.

He didn’t deny your statement. You had a point. It was almost fruitless to try and escape when you didn’t have an actual plan to do so. But that didn’t stop him. He wasn’t done trying yet.

“We have to keep trying. We can’t give up hope yet.” He replied, standing on shaky legs and trying to push the exhaustion from his mind. He needed to stay awake. They had to try and find a way out sooner or later.

You looked over at him and immediately sat up, seeing how unsteady he looked. “Whoa, dude, your gonna-“

“I’m fine. I’m fine. Just give me a sec.” Bakugou cut you off, waving his hand as he tried to steady himself. He didn’t need you concerned for him. It would just slow the two of them down.

He mumbled a curse under his breath, trying to steady his footing. He was dizzy, that was a given, but he tried to hide it. He didn’t have time to be weak, especially not in this situation.

You began to get up, ready to help him. “No, your not dumbass. Let me help!“

The blonde rolled his eyes once again, trying to push your help away. He didn’t need your help. He was fine, damnit! He was just a little dizzy.

“Don’t. I can do it.” He retorted, wobbling and trying to take a step forwards.

He didn’t even get three steps in before he tripped and collapsed, heading for the ground.

“Katsuki!” You shouted, running over and catching him quickly. You fell on your ass from his weight but kept him held against you in a panic, his head on your chest. He barely even heard you shout his first name before falling into a darkness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bakugou opened his eyes and groaned, rubbing his head as he tried to get his bearings back. How long had he been out? The cell was dark, indicating night time…

He hadn’t realized how out of it he was, and it was kind of embarrassing how he collapsed against you.

Dammit. He was supposed to be strong and now here he was being all weak in some cell in the league of villains’ hideout.

“Sorry.” He said wearily, trying to pull himself off of you.

Immediately, he was met with your hand over his mouth as you held him in place, his back against you. When he looked up at you in confusion, you placed a finger to your lips.

After a moment, he heard it. Kai was arguing with someone at the condoned prison’s entrance, sounding quite pissed. And talking back to him in a stoic, almost tired tone was…

Aizawa?!

Bakugou’s eyes widened as he heard the familiar sound of his own homeroom teacher. It sure as hell sounded like him. But was that really him? Why was he here?

He froze In his position against you, going completely still and trying not to make a sound. He didn’t want to alert the goat bastard that two of his experiments were conscious and listening in. That would not be ideal.

After a moment, it was for sure. It really, honestly was Aizawa, wasn’t it? God what was he doing here? Wait, was he here for him and you?

Bakugou looked up at you for a moment through the darkness. You seemed to put the pieces together fairly quickly as well. Both of you remained quiet, just listening to Aizawa and Kai speak.

“Listen here, I don’t know how many time I have to tell you, but get out! This is trespassing!” The goat villain snarked, followed by the sounds of chair legs screeching across the floor.

Then came the ever so wonderful eraser head’s voice. “Kid, you’re wasting my time. If I could just grab two of my many problem children and go, that’d be great.”

Bakugou held his breath as he listened to the conversation. Was Aizawa really trying to break into a goddamn villain base and get them out? Damn. That was Aizawa for you.

He tensed slightly as Kai spoke. “You aren’t getting in this building, pro hero or not.”

“Look. I just need to get those two brats and get the hell out of here. Grab and go with you in jail. Problem solved, no?”

“Why are those two brats so goddamn important?”

“Because they’re my brats. I’m not leaving them here with you villains.” 

After a moment, Aizawa paused. What was happening? A stare down? Then there was a static sound. Did he have an earpiece?

“Nevermind. Kirishima’s got this.”

Not even two seconds later, the wall of your cell that was facing the outside was shattered, a familiar boy having kicked right through the damn thing. Standing there, in the now ruined doorway, was Red-Haired Kirishima.

He was panting, probably from the amount of force it had taken to kick through the wall, but he got it done. His eyes widened and he smiled as he saw the two of you sitting against the back wall. “Bakugou! You guys’ okay?”

You looked up at the boy in shock before nodding. How the shit….?

Bakugou just stared. “H-how did you get in here?” He asked wearily. That was a fair question. He was impressed, honestly.

Kirishima grinned as he responded to both of you. “Aizawa and Midoriya gave us the location, and we made a game plan.”

The explosive boy nodded, not surprised Midoriya was on this. Of course he was. The nerd always managed to get involved. And Aizawa being a part was a damn given.

“Damn. You guys actually put together a plan?” He asked, finally getting off you and standing to approach his friend, still a little wobbly.

Within a millisecond you had grabbed the boy and plopped him down on a cot with a disapproving look. “Nope, no walking. You’re too light headed.”

Bakugou had opened his mouth to object and get up, but you cut him off, pushing him back down on the cot and forcing him to sit. Damn it, you had a point. He was dizzy as hell and would probably fall over if he tried to stand again.

He grumbled, pouting and throwing his head back against the wall in annoyance. This was just embarrassing. He’s supposed to be a hero in training, and here he was sitting in some shitty cot cuz he was too dizzy to stand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Soon, you two had been sent off to the hospital to be checked for vital damage from then testing.

Bakugou sat in the hospital bed, a displeased look on his face.

The doctors had checked and poked every inch of him and you, making sure neither of you had any life threatening marks or broken bones. He was irritated. He was going to be fine damn it! He was fine.

He looked over to the bed next to his, where you were sitting as well, probably having the same thoughts he was.

“…I honestly never should have gone on that date with Kai in the first place.” You said, recalling the way you had been lured into this whole trap.

Your hospital roommate glanced over at you when you spoke. He remembered that date and how he had been irritated when you had gone. “Why did you go with that creep bastard anyway?” He asked, keeping his voice to a quiet volume. It was just the two of you in the room to he didn’t have to keep it too down.

“Honestly?” You paused before looking over at him, a sudden feeling of vulnerability washing over you. Like you could tell him anything. “To make you jealous.”

His jaw almost dropped in disbelief. He hadn’t been expecting those words to come out of your mouth, to be completely honest.

He had expected a different answer, such as boredom, curiosity, or maybe just a plain old “I don’t know”

But, no. You went to go make him jealous? And you just said it like it was just a simple, unimportant fact.

“You…what?”

“I know, it sounds stupid. But I thought maybe….”

Bakugou blinked at you, processing your words. “Wait, hold up. You were trying to make me jealous?” He asked for clarification. He would admit, he had been irritated when you went with Kai to the movies. He hadn’t been able to pin point why he had been so angry. “Why?”

“Because I like you, dumbfuck.” You mumbled, looking up at him slightly.

His eyes widened even more at your blunt confession. That was…not was he was expecting. He was expecting some big reveal and reason, maybe a backstory to explain why. But no, you just outright said you liked him.

He sputtered for a moment, trying to think of something. Anything! to say in response. “W-well you don’t have to go make me jealous to make me notice you!”

“Well nothing else was working!” You said in a voice that matched his volume, getting equally flustered.

He looked at you for a moment and then at himself, running a hand through his messy hair. You actually liked him? Like, genuinely? “So you’re meaning to tell me…that you went out with a villain to make me jealous?” His tone was completely disbelieving. He couldn’t really grasp the fact that the person he secretly crushed on crushed on him.

“Well I didn’t know he was a villain at the time dumbass.”

Bakugou rolled his eyes. You had a point there. You hadn’t known the guy was a villain. “Yeah I know that.” He responded before he frowned. “How long have you liked me, dumbass?”

“…since halfway through first year.”

He couldn’t help but be floored by the response. Halfway through the first year? “Are you shitting me? You’ve been secretly crushing on me since then?”

“Be quiet I was in denial!”

The blonde smirked slightly. You were in denial of liking him. For a whole damn year too. “For a year, huh? Damn I feel kinda special now. That’s quite the secret you’ve been keeping, dipshit.”

“If you’re gonna reject me then just do it.” You mumbled, crossing you’re arms and looking away with a small pout.

Bakugou raised an eyebrow at your words. You immediately assumed he would reject you? You actually believed that he would say no.

He shifted so he was facing you before he grabbed your wrist and pulled you off your cot, pulling you over to his bedside and making you sit on his bed next to him.

Once you were sat down next to him, he wrapped an arm around your waist. You were looking away from him, a pout on your lips, and he couldn’t have that.

“What makes you think I’d say no?”

He asked, tilting his head as you sat there, all rational thoughts disintegrating. “Because I’m not going to. Quite the opposite in fact.”

He rolled his eyes again before pulling you even closer to him, making you sit in his lap. He had fully given up on trying to keep his cool, he was much too focused on the fact you liked him.

“Now look at me, dumbass.” He said, grabbing your chin and pulling your face towards him gently.

He smirked again, pulling you closer to him. You were so close that he could feel the heat emanating from your body. It was making it harder and harder to not just grab you and kiss you senseless.

“-!”

Bakugou couldn’t help but chuckle at the startled expression on your face as he pulled you onto his lap, making you straddle his waist.

The fact you got so flustered by him doing something so small sent some sort of rush through him. He was having a hard time keeping himself from just grabbing you and pinning you down on the bed and going to town on you. “You gonna look at me, or are you gonna keep averting your goddamned eyes, huh?”

“Are you gonna kiss me or are you gonna avoid it by teasing me?” You finally shot back.

He froze for a second, not expecting such a bold response from you. The way you looked was enough to make his brain melt. You were sitting on his lap, right next to him, as you looked at him with flushed cheeks, a pout on your lips.

“You sure about that? You sure you want me to kiss you?” He asked, his eyes darting to your lips. They looked so goddamn kissable, he was wondering how they’d feel against his.

“Only if I’m allowed to kiss back.”

He chuckled, his grip on your chin tightening slightly, tilting your head up so he could look deeply into your eyes. “You can’t kiss back? What kind of deal is that? Of course you can kiss back, dumbass.” He said before finally leaning forward to capture your lips.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I FINALLY DID IT. THIS ONLY TOOK ME, LIKE, ALMOST ALL JUNE UP UNTIL TODAY (this was technically finished being written in the Fourth of July). It got kinda weird and confusing I think, so it definitely wasn’t my best writing, and I unfortunately rushed this chapter. I just wanted to be DONE WITH IT. Series in the future will be better!

[wh0refornikolailantsov]

Prompt: "You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

For Nina x Reader please!!

Couldn't Love Anybody Else - Nina Zenik

Content Warnings: Insecurity And Doubt. No Beta/Proof Reading.

"I think it's best that I go," Nina tells Kaz, "we know I can be very persuasive." You smile, knowing exactly how persuasive Nina is capable of being.

"No," Kaz says plainly before looking to you, "you will go."

"Why?" You ask, and bite your tongue at the snapping rate of the question.

"Because you have the expertise to get you in," Kaz says, "and you're exactly his type."

"I resent the way you said that Brekker," Nina says. "Besides I am everyone's type."

"Nina, I need your skills elsewhere," Kaz says, "now go home, get sleep, tomorrow we have a job to do."

You know better than to argue with Kaz Brekker, but that doesn't stop Nina from trying. Once she finally exhausts herself from arguing with him, you hold the door open for her and start the short walk back.

Jesper stops you on the way, asking if either of you have recently set eyes on Wylan, Nina is uncharacteristically quiet, clearly thinking something over and over. "What dumb thing have you done now?" You ask. Jesper tilts his head side to side.

"I didn't do anything dumb," he says, and then upon some contemplation, "but I did say something dumb."

"What could you possibly say that is dumber than things you've come out with before?" You ask, trying not to let your gaze linger on Nina's blank expression too long.

"I was talking about missing Milo," Jesper explained. You nod.

"The goat," you say. Jesper rubs his neck all sheepish.

"Yeah, I am glad you recognised that, turns out that might not have been so obvious to everyone," Jesper says. You sigh.

"You didn't prefix it with, by the way I am talking about a goat?" you ask. Jesper takes his head.

"I would clip you one if I didn't think you were faster than me," you warn him.

"It's stupid, I know, and now I can't find him to explain," he says.

"I'd check the night market," you tell him. Jesper frowns.

"We have a night market?" he looks deeply unnerved.

"In the nice side of Ketterdam, he sometimes goes there when he is stressed, they make good snacks, and they sometimes import good powders," you explain. Jesper scans you up and down in a glance. "Yes, I listen to your boyfriend, now go and apologise while he is still your boyfriend."

"Received," Jesper says before dashing off into the dark.

"Dumbass," you whisper, you look to Nina, hoping for a smile, but she is scrunching up her nose in discontent. You don't try asking until you make it back into your kitchen, and offer Nina some hot chocolate. She shakes her head, not even really registering the question and that's more than enough to have you worried.

"What is it?" You ask.

"Hmm?" Nina says, looking startled out of her thoughts as she looks across the room to you.

"You don't think I can do this job?" you ask her.

"I know you can do this job," she assures you. "I don't like it any though."

"Why spend so much time arguing with Kaz, Nina, you knew it was pointless," you say, leaning against the counter.

"Had to try," she says.

"Why though?" You ask. She presses her hands together and then looks up at the ceiling, she is searching for a reason, a reason that isn't the truth, a reason that sounds more reasonable than the truth, but she fails to find one. "You're jealous, aren't you?"

You had meant about the job, about Kaz putting you in the centre, and asking Nina to pull some background tricks to keep them moving, but the second the words reach her the look of guilt on her face reveals a whole other kind of jealousy, a type you hadn't dared consider. She's jealous that you have to seduce someone as part of the job.

"No," Nina's voice is sturdy but her conviction is lacking. She won't meet your eye as she says it.

"Nina," you sound out her name soft and slow, and she quickly mistakes your empathy or pity and throws you a look. Her arms crossed across her chest and doing her best not to pout.

"Look, you don't have to look at me like that," she says, "I know it's part of the job."

"Nina, I am not looking at you like anything," you defend. She eyes you, not yet convinced. She has flirted her way through jobs before, she has flirted herself out of trouble more times than she can count. But with you it's different, because you didn't flirt for fun, or for the sake of it, you weren't like Nina and Jesper, you'd never got your kicks from watching someone else blush and buckle under the weight of your attention. Flirting was something you'd grown to do, a response to Nina and her charm, a charm that flourished your own. So the idea of Nina watching you work that same charm on someone else, it made her jealous, jealous in a way she hasn't ever really known before. But also protective.

"With your eyes like that," she waves a hand at you before returning it to her side. You've never seen Nina Zenik, Queen of Smiles and Charisma, so... unsure.

"I am looking at you the way I always look at you Nina," you tell her.

"You always look at me with such pity?" she asks. She huffs slightly, moving to cross her arms. "I had always thought it was awe in those pretty eyes of yours, but thank you for correcting me."

"Nina," you tell her, closing the space between the two of you to place your hands gently on her arms. "I never look at you with anything less than utter admiration, and complete reverence."

"Really?" she asks, smile creeping into her pout.

"Nina for a while now, I have been nothing short of ridiculously, and rather desperately, irrevocably in love with you," you say, "have I not made that abundantly clear?"

"Well," she shrugs a shoulder gently, "maybe not abundantly."

"That is on me then treasure, and all I can do is beg your forgiveness for such an egregious duplicity."

"You're just trying to distract me with words now," she teases, "keep going it's working for you."

You laugh, her arms move from being crossed to wrapping around your waist, holding you close to her, as she smiles at you, all forgiven, all argument disarmed. "You know this is just a job to me Nina," you tell her, "this will always just be a job, Ketterdam is not my home, and admittedly neither is Ravka, you are my home, and I will always return to you, you are my only loyalty."

[narutocharacterpolls]

I just saw that you were done talking about these two... buuuut I had already been enlisted to draw a comic so I really hope you don't mind! I'm still a bit out of practice so apologies for the quality.

In all honesty as much as we (and Naruto, lol) consider Sasuke an all-time fave and are bummed out he's not moving along, he probably would not give a single shit. He already knows he's the GOAT and has other things to be doing like, you know, moving the entire plot along and getting justice for his family.

In this case, though, I'd like to think he also takes some time to talk about swords with his go-to weapons expert friend, Tenten. Just for fun.

Hope you enjoy and it at least brings a smile to you. It looks like things unfortunately got a little heated.

[ID: Four fanarts of Sasuke, Suigetsu, and Tenten sitting at a counter with the executioners blade sitting on it.

Image one: Tenten comments in a tiny bubble, “Ooh awesome blade” Sasuke asks Tenten, “So you’re a weapons expert and Suigetsu here is a dumbass, I was wondering if…” Sasuke gets cut off by a loud spiked speech bubble coming from off screen, an unseen Naruto yells, “Sasuke!”

Image two: Sasuke, Suigetsu, and Tenten now pause, silent, looking up in shock inferably towards Naruto.

Image three: a panel of just Naruto, clutching his chest and crying as he holds his phone and says, “Oh my god you lost the best character poll, Sasuke! I can’t believe it!”

Image four: Sasuke, Suigetsu, and Tenten return their focus back to themselves and Sasuke says, “Anyways…” Suigetsu notes “Lol” and Tenten sweats with a nervous smile. END ID]

WOW!! YOU DID AN AMAZING JOB! They all look wonderful, and it’s so so awesome you made a whole comicccc this is so funny I’M SO ASTOUNDED AND IMPRESSED YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING!

I absolutely don’t mind sharing any creative pieces you guys have made, I love spreading your talent! As always if I did miss one of your artworks or writings please let me know! That poll was crazy and my notifications were never ending, so it’d have been easy to miss one if I was tagged during that!

[berrypass-de-murdler]

83. Parking is Murder

[me happy stimming and acting like an actual puppy]

PARKING IS MURDER

LOOK AT MY BBGS AWWWW (definitely don't have enough pictures of them already)

DON'T READ THE EPISODES UNTIL YOU'VE FINISHED THE FIRST BOOK!!

Logico hates cars. Everyone knows that. They’re just so… UGH. Logic has to do something he never wanted to do… PARK A CAR. He almost barfs, but holds it in.

LOGICO: I’ve solved hundreds of murders… many of which were fake but STILL, I can park… my dumb car… 

A valet dies! Logico immediately jumps out, leaving his car right smack in the driveway

LOGICO: OH WELL DUTY CALLS!!

Lavender is still following him.

LOGICO: Why? LAVENDER: I’m looking for Obsidian, duh!! LOGICO: At the movie studio.

Emerald and Copper have come to join.

COPPER: Nice movie, dumbass! Heard you’re not even playing YOURSELF. LOGICO: Wonderful.

Copper enjoys smacking cars with her club and damaging them for no reason, because she’s a cop. Emerald is flying around like a lunatic! And Pearl, late to a meeting, is stuck in her car.

PEARL: SPO’I TERRA-BULL! OI CAN’ EVEN GE’ OU’ MY CAHR!

Logico heads to security and meets up with the dog.

LOGICO: You ARE an officer. Are you EVER going to help me?

Copper licks her baton.

COPPER: Not my place, kiddo. You go on and have fun. LOGICO: I’M PROBABLY OLDER THAN YOU!! PEARL: OI, DON’ TRUST ‘AH. I SEEM TO HEV NOTICED TA’ SHE WANNA ROBBA GRAVE. LOGICO: I guess that made slightly more sense than every other sentence.

Logi then stops Emerald.

LOGICO: The fuck are you doing? EMERALD: NO TIME!!!!!! LOGICO: You’re not even going anywhere, you’re just flailing around in circles! EMERALD: DON’T ASK ME! ASK LAVENDER! HE DRIVES GOLF CARTS EVERYWHERE LIKE AN IDIOT! [parrot screech]

Bored Logi gets a text. 

‘This isn’t esoteric knowledge, Logico. I just saw on a studio webcam that Lord Lavender was hanging around next to a fountain. I hope you’re doing well out there. <3’

LOGICO: He needs to stop sending little hearts!!

He realizes something! He runs over to the waltzing llama.

LOGICO: Do you know how to drive a golf cart? LAVENDER: MY GOD, NO! You mistake me for some kind of rough-and-tumble guard tower militant? UGH. ‘Golf cart.’ 

He spits greenish goo into Logi’s face and struts away. But it doesn’t matter! Emerald is the answer.

EMERALD: Sure! I ran over somebody with a golf cart! But, in my defense, I was in a hurry! I was late to a meeting! And circumstances like that must be considered! LOGICO: You can’t fucking compare a murder and a…

Flashback!!

IRRATINO: You can never compare two things, ever! EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT… EVEN YOUR TWO EYES… LOGICO: My what? IRRATINO: [goat scream] I AM SO SORRY THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT-

Logi snaps himself out of it. It’s time to go to the studio. He catches a glimpse of Copper digging up (human) bones.

LOGICO: I saw you… COPPER: DON’T WANNA BE LATE FOR A MEETING, EH DEDUCTIVE?

Pearl remains trapped in her car.

PEARL: IS ANYBODY GO’A GIMME A NEW SATE???

The end!

I have ultimately decided that Murdle Jr. is still going to be turned into a non-canon MiniMurdle spinoff featuring baby Logico, Irratino, Umber, and Antoduardo

Irratino appears to be the only one who's not a penguin atm

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[canyouhearthelight]

Nihilus Rex, Ch. 6: A Complication

So, Lash and Nils agree on everything, right? Right????

Except when Nils is being a complete dumbass and doesn't realize it.

This is the chapter where we start seeing actual existing 2017 classism, racism, and even just disparate treatment come into play.

Nils' perspective and beta-reading provided by @baelpenrose. Additional beta-reading by @writing-with-olive and @fandomized-insanity. Perspective from people of the global majority (read: non-white) provided by entirely too many people to name, but definitely look up 'decolonization' if you are curious.

Sometimes love is all that can save us

Sometimes love can kill a man

Yeah, sometimes love is a soft touch

Or a pistol in your hand

American Young, “Love Is War”

Lash

It had been a couple weeks since I last met with Nils in person.  A nice chunk of money had been deposited in my account from something that looked reasonably authentic and was completely unrelated to Brayden in any way shape or form.  Not the entire five grand, I noticed.  Figured that he realized I was adding punitive damages and took his own cut.  I could live with two fifty being taken if it got back my four grand and then some.

At the moment, I was sitting in my favorite spot on the bridge, thinking through my next commissions.  Anime girls were doing me pretty solid at the moment, but eventually I’d have to tackle all the lean brunettes that were waiting in email-hell.  The charity work was drying up a bit after Brayden screwed me over, so I needed to get all that sorted out, too…

My quiet moment was interrupted by a phone alert fed through my headphones.  Then another.  Gritting my teeth, I pulled out the offending device and braced myself to see messages from my parents about some vastly unimportant emergency.  Instead, it was an unknown number messaging me. “Sorry. I didn’t want to startle you and make you fall.”

“It’s Nils, btw.  Left side.”

I whipped my head around to see him standing on the embankment to my left, waving at me with his phone. I gestured for him to come closer so we could talk without shouting over the river.  To my surprise, he came out onto the pylon and sat next to me without a trace of awkwardness.

“New phone?”

Nils blinked. “Right, no. Uh. Work phone. At a guess you know the drill.” He tilted his head at my phone and made a vague gesture. “By the way, you could have told me you wanted punitive damages instead of overstating what he took. I’d have understood.” 

I shrugged. “Seemed pretty obvious. I mean, you figured it out and took your cut, looks like.” With my free hand, I waved at his leather ensemble. “Not like you need the money, clearly, Darth Lord Pizza Cutter.”

He made a coughing sound. “Dark Lord Pizza Cutter, or Darth Pizza Cutter, pick a metaphor. That’s great though, I’ll have to remember that one. And no, I don’t. I do this more for fun, the cut I took went to a charity I’m fond of.” 

“Funding leather pants for dramatic bitches in second-world countries,” I nodded in mock-wisdom. “I see.”

“Medical debt relief, actually.” He looked like he was stopping himself from the reflexive correction about what a second-world country was after he realized I was saying it to fuck with him.

“That’s actually admirable,” I confessed, giving up the bit. “I don’t know how much two-fifty is going to do for it, but judging by what a busy bee you seem to be online, you’re probably nickel and diming them with donations at a solid pace.”  After a pause, I nodded. “Yeah, I can see it.  So what brings you to my bridge, Billy Goat Gruff?”

He shrugged. “Two fifty looks like nothing unless you know where to send it, but there’s a charity who buys up medical debt for pennies on the dollar. Anywhere from 80 to 100:1 ratios, then forgives it. Financial expert. Information is the best way to make an impact, knowing who to go to for the best effect, and network them all together.” 

“Rolling Jubilee. I like it.”

“Sorry, though, you had an actual question. Uh. I wanted to talk to you again. You left me with a good question last time. How to make the world better. You’d want to eliminate poverty, but you’d also want to eliminate power structures that make it possible to consolidate power, and therefore money and monopolized resources, into one place, to prevent that cycle from starting over again. You’d need to start with fair access to food and housing, education. The same principle would keep people from just poisoning the world and getting away with it. I think you’d have to start by something to level the playing field for a revolution, maybe power grid or bank comms, not sure exactly how to do that, but thinking about it. Still workshopping it. What’s your idea of the ideal world, Lash?” 

I hummed a bit, wobbling my head side to side and kicking my feet a couple times. “Prove it can be done without money. Barter economy, punishment for hoarding more than you need. Homelessness has to go, for sure - there are so many vampire and zombie properties, even commercial ones, that could be used better just keeping people housed. Take over an empty strip mall, start there.  Comms are easier than we think, we’re just really spoiled with speed and access - did you know there are already communities in this country who built their own local wireless networks from the ground up and just include the maintenance in local taxes?  We could do that, teach everyone how to maintain it so they are part of their own community.  That’s a start.  Then educate people - mandatory education.  That would be the hard part.  Not just math or grammar, but teaching ideas and critical thinking.”  I chewed on my lip for a moment. “Critical thinking is definitely being outlawed, it feels.”

            Nils wavered a hand. “In not-expensive schools, yeah. Which are increasingly being restricted on purpose. Mandatory equal education, especially. Right now there’s a real effort to make a two-tier system. One of defunded, shit-tier schools for poor kids and kids of color to turn them into obedient little drones, and one for rich white kids like yours truly to turn them into future statesmen, CEOs, generals, doctors, lawyers. No real respect for where we’re gonna get all the stuff in the middle that society collapses without, ironically, but then the people who design capitalism never seem to think long term. Your thought is probably the right one, but you’d need to ensure that it isn’t based in purely local resources, or if you did, ensure that those resources were distributed more equitably before the localized systems started.” 

“As one of said brown children, can confirm,” I sighed. “My parents worked like hell to get me into a ‘good’ school, and trust me, it isn’t much better. Critical thinking in terms of thinking critically of people who are different. At least when I went to a ‘shit-tier’ school, you learned that almost everyone is one paycheck or generation from being poor, and everyone’s brown when you’re dirty.” I winced at how bitter I sounded.  “Sorry.  It’s a sore spot. So, add first aid to basic medical training as part of education.  No offense, but fuck CEOs and statesmen.  If we never had another one in the history of the world, or had never had one to begin with, I think we would be in a better place.”

“You and I find ourselves entirely in agreement.” There was a smile on his face like he was laughing at a private joke. “I do think people should also learn basic cooking, basic home repair. As part of education.” He glanced over the city. “It’s nice, being able to talk to a friend like this.” 

“Oh, so we’re friends now?” I clutched a hand to my chest in pretend astonishment. “Sir, you move far too quickly.”

Nils gave a little smile. “Oh, apologies for being so forward, my dear,” his affect abruptly matched my own. “But I so rarely find conversation so stimulating, and if you do I would ask you to tell me where on earth you spend your time.” 

I laughed at how ridiculous he was being. It was charming, but in a way that showed he clearly wasn’t being too serious about it. “Online, mostly. Physically, I’m here or at home, or at this awful coffee shop about six blocks that way…” I gestured in the direction toward where we had met last time. “Beyond that? Trying desperately not to cook, since you said something about reinstituting mandatory Home Ec.  My cooking would kill you.”

“Because I’m white and you’re…okay forgive me, is your family Indian or Pakistani?”

“Because my cooking is just that bad. Seriously. I am the bane of every well meaning mother and auntie in the world. They collectively meet and despair of how horrible a wife I will be one day.” After a deep breath, I gave in. “And I’m both. Baba is Goan - that’s Indian - Mama is Pakistani.  Dishonor on their houses, their cows, all that.”

“Doesn’t that depend on whether you get married and have kids? Like in general.”  Then he cycled back. “Also, apologies if it was a rude question. If I ever met your family I wanted to look up stuff and be respectful.” 

I snorted. “That’s because you are white. Daughters of immigrants are expected to marry and have children. We are either terrible wives because we did and were horrible at it, or terrible wives because we couldn’t even get a husband. And god willing, you will never meet my family. Not because of you, because I am such a disgrace and you will either be expected to marry me and save me from myself or be considered a disgrace by proxy.  If you ever run into me when I am with them, I hope you are very good at telling people you are gay.”

“Half time, friend. Half-time gay already. Also, everyone already thinks I’m a disgrace. No need to use it to make your life worse.” He seemed willing to change the subject.  “Oh, I promised to tell you about my project. Did a bit of homework you assigned me. So, you know those QAnon assholes who kicked the shit out of me the first day we met?”

“The brother-uncle-cousins with more muscles than brains and signs?”

“Yes, the ones that think the world is ruled by Jewish space lizards, those charmers. The ones who think you immigrants are coming to literally fuck white people out of existence and bring all of us backwards evolution-wise on orders of a blood drinking Jewish cabal. Those people. Anyway. I’ve been taking advantage of a very specific flaw of conspiracist thinking, which is the desperate need to think you understand the next mystery. Tell them it’s even bigger than they think even more complicated than they thought, and wrap that into what they already thought - there’s not ONE complicated evil cabal that rules the world, there’s like FOUR, and they all fight each other, all our politics is a complicated proxy war between all of these secret shadow governments. Muhahahah. They eat that shit up. Especially if you imply that two of those groups are loosely on the side of the common people and have formed a temporary alliance, and might be looking for recruits among their crowd.”

I blinked while I processed all of the absolute crazy that had just come out of his mouth. “You are… giving them more targets, or fewer?”

“Both. Focusing their insanity in a direction that is actually useful to their fellow human beings for once. If I can’t get them to be less crazy - and unfortunately that seems inoperable given that subculture - I can direct the inevitable stochastic terrorism towards, say, attacking banks and burning debt records. In the name of preventing the evil shadow government from controlling innocent people through debt. Written off as an attack by insane conspiracy theorist, innocent people get relief, it is left untraceable to us. And corporate eats the loss.” 

“And you are stopping them from taking pot shots at the minorities who are theoretically a part of these cabals how, exactly?” I waved a hand to cut him off from answering too quickly. “I get that you are redirecting them, but when you redirect something, you have to also cut it off from its original goal. How are you doing that part?”

“The ones who work for the banks, the cops, or in public office? Nah. Fuck ‘em. But the white people in those offices are fucked too, the way I’m working it. Cutting shit off is…complicated. Multi step. So, right now they’re under the impression that the one group of bad guys they initially believed in rules the government, right? They also believe, or are starting to - that the average activist is a proxy for a different thing entirely, which do not like the bad guys who run the government for one set of reasons. I have them believing that their “hero” Q, is part of a different, third group, who ALSO does not like the bad guys who run the government, who are all rich and powerful people, and that the reason people do not like the guys who run the government tends to vary. The important thing is its a shadow government and most people don’t know anything about it.”

“So, you’re playing three dimensional chess with people who believe whatever they are told that makes them feel important. Got it. And you’ve already set this into motion?”

“Haven’t started implying orders yet. But started just kinda. Movin’ em towards “there’s three groups, stop hate criming people, most people aren’t even part of this.” 

I felt a solid mass form in the pit of my stomach, and my heart sank. “So yes, you’ve already put this into motion, intentionally or not, with no checks or any way to keep the next  idiot on a power trip from turning them another direction.”  I stood up and dusted off my clothes, holding my hand out. “Come on. Time to buy you some actual coffee, because this is going to be a very long conversation.”

Nils winced and stood up. 

“Marry a white boy, she keeps saying,” I muttered. “Trying to save my ass from well meaning white people and she wants me to marry one.  PAH!”

[roguelov]

Ok but your tags on that Longlegs post 😂

I said what said and I’m a proud owner of a dumbass brain 😂 I even said it was jfk with my full chest then my sister (who saw it with me) was like ‘… dude that was Bill Clinton’ and I was like ‘😶 … you’re right’

I’ll put some rambling thoughts below so no spoilers

Like to be fair the movie was good but I thought it was going to lean more towards mystery serial killer thriller not spooks and shit (although once I did see it was satan I did play the game of trying to find that goat man in the background)

I can do thrillers and killers but demons/ghosts I don’t mix well (I blame paranormal activity given that was my first big horror movie after swearing to not touch a single horror movie ever cuz like I said I’m a baby but I’m slowly getting into horror like some of Mike flangans stuff)

I will be fighting the head of fbi in a parking lot because why the fuck was his daughter’s birthday never brought up???? MY GUY THE BRIGHT WARNING SIGNS ARE FLASHING AND YOU WENT ‘couldn’t be for me’ (it probably was like oh satan already has him so that why he didn’t say anything and blah blah blah bullshit)

Him: why did you tell me your birthday was on the 14th?

Me: ok so like your daughter apparently doesn’t matter 🤨

Also was everyone uninvited to the party or was there no party to begin with? I like the former for shits and giggles like ‘yeah sorry Bethany the party has been canceled due to satan yeah you’re going to have to return your gift you bought’

And like Harker just not stopping the dad from killing his wife was bonkers. Yeah yeah I know the mom was like ‘she’s already dead’ while frankly I don’t give a fuck how about you stop that man cuz I sat there like ‘… we’re just letting this happen?? Not even going to try??? Not even a lil bit????’

I did not watch homie bash his brains in cuz he hit his head once and I went ‘you know what … I’m actually good on seeing this’

I did love the cool upside shot of her on the bed and just the whole aesthetic and cinematography of the movie it was stunning

Also for some reason when they first showed Harker’s cabin I swore her home as a child was in the background so I thought we lived near it for motivation and what not but alas it was just a random ass white house that held no importance

WAIT ALSO I REMEMBERED WHY THE FUCK DID HARKER NOT CALL IN FOR THE SHOOTER IN THE FIRST 10 MINUTES I WAS LIKE ‘GIRL CALL FOR BACK UP YOUR PARTNER JUST GOT SHOT’ SHE HAD ME PANICKING AS SHE SEARCHED THAT HOUSE