#Giraffes Can't Dance

[mattapparentlystumbltourneys]

Giraffe Girumble - Round 1 - H

Propaganda below (May contain spoilers!)

Gerald Propaganda:

Gerald invents his own style of dance after lots of soul searching and stuff. He's a dancing giraffe, just go with it ;)

Kirin/ The Giraffe Propaganda:

Voiced by Kenjiro Tsuda, he oversees the lesbian drama student tournament arc that makes up the plot of the anime.

Probably one of the Giraffes in fiction Ever

Wakarimasu...

[thelovetheystole]

Convince me that this isn't a book about Robert Jacob Sugden! 😁 There's even a little 🐒 on there...

(From Danny's insta story)

[thatwritererinoriordan]

[sesamenom-misc]

[deathofacupid]

satoru gojo, the man who could bend reality with a flick of his wrist, had a secret weakness: lazy sunday mornings. sure, saturdays were for blindingly bright parties, a necessary evil after a week of dealing with, let's be honest, lesser beings.

but sundays? ah, sundays were a sacred ritual, a holy day dedicated entirely to you.

imagine: a tangled mess of limbs under a duvet fortress, where soft kisses were the only currency and the air hummed with the quiet joy of simply being. satoru, the human equivalent of a sunbeam in pajama pants, would drape himself over you like a particularly clingy (but undeniably adorable) koala.

his whispers were a mix of sweet nothings and hilariously bad impressions of household appliances, his humming a chaotic symphony of half-remembered pop songs and made-up jingles.

"we should just hibernate here," he'd mumble into the crook of your neck, his breath warm and ticklish. "forever. or at least until tuesday."

you’d giggle, a sound that always made his heart do a little happy dance. "'toru, we can't. remember? the grocery store run? the existential dread of sorting laundry?

he'd whine, a sound that could rival a litter of disgruntled puppies auditioning for a sad commercial. it was ridiculously endearing, like a giant, fluffy cat demanding belly rubs. "the laundry can wait. it's probably just plotting to steal all our socks anyway."

"oh, is it now?" you'd tease, pinching his cheek. "'toru, there's always next week for this."

"next week is a myth invented by people who hate fun," he'd declare, his voice dramatic. he'd then attempt to burrow further into you, which, given his height, was like trying to fit a giraffe into a shoebox. "five more minutes. pleeease?"

you snorted. "your 'five' minutes always morph into ten, then twenty, then a full-blown nap that lasts until monday morning."

"then let's just skip the preamble and go straight to the monday morning nap," he'd suggest, peeking up at you with those ridiculously mesmerizing cerulean eyes. they were practically sparkling with mischief and pure, unadulterated adoration. how could anyone, especially you, say no to a face that screamed, "love me and let's nap?"

and so, the errands would wait, the socks would remain unconquered, and the world would just have to deal with the fact that satoru gojo, the strongest sorcerer alive, was currently busy being a professional clinger. after all, is that not what sunday morning are for?

[neontiger]

body heat

♡ MDNI 18+

♡ Jason Todd x fem!reader

♡ Your boyfriend gets a little too excited when you decide to join him at the gym. Jason Todd: vigilante by night, very personal trainer by day.

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

A bead of sweat rolls down his neck to settle in his collarbone. The weight sitting on your shoulders is forgotten as your gaze follows Jason as he sinks down into a low squat. His abdomen tightens, the muscles in his thighs flex and bulge...and then the worst thing happens.

He grunts.

The temperature in the gym is boiling. Fuck, you feel like a pervert, getting flustered over the little noises he makes, desperate to lick the sweat from the back of his neck. You force your eyes away and stare at yourself in the mirror. Cheeks and chest flushed, thighs pressed together in an attempt to silence your arousal. Focus, you tell yourself, gripping the bar. The weights are meager but the distractions make them impossible to lift.

Jason moves behind you. You sink down, fighting the urge to look at him in the mirror, resisting even when he lifts his tank to wipe the sweat from his upper lip with the hem. The flash of skin - the planes of his abdomen, painted with scars - damn it.

Metal clangs against metal as your legs give out. Jason's quick to grab the bar as it smacks onto the safeties and you drop onto your knees. "You okay?" He asks.

"Mhmm." You try to stand, but your legs have been replaced with those of a baby giraffe's and you can't find the strength. Jason grabs you by the elbow and helps you balance.

"You can't be done already." He laughs. "Couple more sets?"

You can't. Physically cannot, not with the fever ravaging your body. "I'm done. I'm going to get changed." You start towards your bag near the mirror. "How much longer are you going to be? I think I'll go across the street and get a coffee."

Jason reracks the bar you dropped, making the weight look like nothing. "Nah, if you're done, I'm done. But hold on. Should stretch before we leave."

Your heart sinks into your core. Fuck.

You try to help pick up the weights, empty your head of all lecherous thoughts before the inevitable. Jason glances around at the other gym-goers. There's a small look of concern on his face.

"Let's go to the yoga room," he says, pointing vaguely with his thumb.

It keeps getting worse.

Duffle bag slung over your shoulder, you follow Jason to the room. It's quiet, empty, the lights soft. A mirror lines one wall. Jason grabs a pair of mats and unrolls them.

"We should do this later," you blurt out.

Jason cocks an eyebrow. "Why? What's wrong?" He narrows his eyes, looks you up and down. "Did you hurt yourself?"

How can he be so oblivious? Standing there in those gym shorts and that tank, tight in all the right places, exposed skin shiny with sweat and hair messed up like he just ran a marathon...or when you run your fingers through it when he's going down on you.

"Wanna go home," you squeak. You swallow. "Just...sore. We can...stretch at home."

He appears mostly convinced, a small smirk on his lips. "It won't take long. Get on your hands and knees."

Oh, so he does know. Bastard.

Your glare stays on the mat between your splayed fingers as you get into position. He moves behind you. "Straighten your legs and lift your butt," he says. "Downward dog. Do it for me."

He knows exactly what he's doing when he runs his hand down your spine. You lift your butt and stretch your arms, hyper aware of how soaked you are, how he's standing right behind you. "You're arching," he says softly. "Straighten your back for me, baby."

"Shouldn't you be stretching?" You snap, fighting instinct to straighten your spine.

"I will." Both his hand run over your lower back, fingers dancing along the ridges of your spine. Goosebumps prickle across your skin in the wake of his touch as he continues down your ass and to the backs of your thighs. A moan nearly escapes your tightly pinched lips as he massages your thighs, fingertips expertly pressing the soreness out of your muscles and soothing them. "That feel good? Just relax for me. Stop being so tense and let me take care of you."

"Jay," you whine through gritted teeth.

He chuckles. "On your back."

You comply, nearly succumbing by parting your legs for him - quickly you reroute and squeeze them together and wait instructions. His hands work the front of your thighs now, pulling a sigh from deep, your eyes fluttering shut.

He lifts one of your and straddles the other to press your knee to your chest. The stretch is spectacular, earning another sigh of relief. Something hard nudges your hip when he leans over you - you know exactly what, and a rush of heat floods your core.

He gives a short laugh. "Shit. Maybe I should've listened to you. Other leg."

He repeats the stretch again, the tip of his semi-erect cock grinding against you now without shame. You open one eye to peek at him above you, but his gaze is focused on your breasts trapped enticingly in your sports bra, the top of them flushed pink with arousal. His throat bobs as he swallows.

There's nobody here. You glance around but can't spot a single camera in the room. What's a little fun? You're both ready to explode - just a quickie.

You grab the lower band of your sports bra and pull it up. Jason's mouth drops open as your breasts pop out, nipples already pert little buds aching for his lips wrapped around them. His gaze jumps up to meet yours.

"You sore there?" He asks.

"Yeah," you reply, breathless.

He cups your breasts and squeezes, shifting again on your leg in a desperate move for friction. Fingertips tweak your nipples, teasing and light.

Jason curses under his breath, mesmerized. He collects spit in his mouth and lets it drip between your breasts before moving to straddle your body, careful to not put his weight on you.

You bite your lip. You know what this is.

He presses your breasts together. "Can I fuck them?"

Your hands are already on the waistband of his shorts, tugging them out of the way to free his cock. It springs loose, thick and throbbing, precum dripping from the tip onto your tits. "Yeah, Jay, I want that." You wet your lips, looking up at him with a blown-out look in your eyes. Any touch is going to break you.

He spits again, wetting his cock. You fix your sports bra to hold your tits together and make a perfect, tight passage for him to play with. Your fingers grip his thighs as he eases his cock in with a groan. The head bumps your neck at full thrust.

Jason sucks air through his teeth as he pumps slowly, fighting to not lose control immediately. He pinches your nipples, pulling and twisting in a way that has your clit throbbing. "Cum on these tits," he whispers. "You're so fucking good. You like it when I fuck your tits?"

You nod, hungry, aching. But your cunt clenches around nothing, your clit throbbing for stimulation, as he ruts faster. "Jason," you whisper, his name wet with neediness.

He stills, groaning, eyes closed and fingers pinching your nipples almost painfully. Precum pools on your throat. He's fighting back his release and remains like that for a moment, ensconsed in your warmth. You rub your thighs together and whine.

"I know." He pulls his cock free, a string of precum trailing from the tip to your breasts, and moves down again. This time he grabs both your legs and presses your knees to your chest before tugging your leggings down your thighs, exposing your cunt to the cool air. The waistband squeezed around your thighs and keeps them tight together for him.

He slicks his fingers through your arousal, brushing over your clit. Your body jerks at the slight touch, so pent up that you're already on the verge of orgasm. Something he doesn't miss. He clicks his tongue. "You should have told me earlier...I would've taken care of you. So wet, I don't even need to prepare you, do I?"

"Oh my god, Jason!" You whine, bouncing your head back on the mat. "Hurry up and fuck me before somebody comes in."

He snorts, rubbing his length against your slit a few times, teasing your clit with the tip. Then finally, finally, he starts to sink inside. You tighten immediately, pussy desperate to suck him in, to not let go. He hugs your legs to his chest, watching as his cock stretches you open until his hips are flush against your ass.

"Fuck." He exhales. "So perfect. What got you so hot anyway?"

You squirm, trying to move enough to stimulate and bring that orgasm you so desperately need. "You, stupid," you say. "You and your...your noises. All sweaty. Jerk."

Jason grins. He presses his thumb on your clit and your entire body reacts, jerking and tensing in pleasured shock. "Yeah? Me too. I couldn't stop watching you. Kept thinking about fucking you out there."

"Fuck me now. Please," you add. "Please, please, Jason."

His hips pull back and snap forward. It sends an earthquake through your system as the head of his cock slams into your cervix. At the same time, his thumb begins working soft, small circles on your clit. Your head empties completely, all thoughts replaced with his cock and his touch, fucking you into a thousand pieces.

His free hand grabs your chin and turns your head towards the mirror. "Look," he pants. "Look at me fucking you. Like that?"

The mirror. There you are, bent in half under him, tits bouncing with the rhythm of his thrusts. You watch the pull and push of his cock as he fucks into you and clench around him. It's loud, the squelch of your pussy, arousal soaking his cock and the front of his shorts, your inner thighs.

His thumb works faster, thrusts quickening. "Need you to cum for me, baby," Jason says, almost completely out of breath. "I'm close. Want to feel you cum on my cock, baby, come on."

Harder, faster, slamming into you as you hold back screams. They escape as harsh breaths and whimpers as the fire in your core reaches a boiling point. "Jason - don't stop, so good - Jay, ohmygodfuck -"

His release hits him first as you tighten at your peak. His pace stutters as the orgasm shudders through his body, cock twitching as he pumps you full - and it's enough, exactly what you need to bring your end. Like a frail rope snapping, your body tenses and your walls clamp down on him, pulsing in orgasm around his throbbing cock. Cum trickles from your slit down your ass, onto his shorts, the mat underneath you.

Jason leans against your legs for support as he searches for air. "Fuck. We...fuck."

You don't know what he's trying to say. You don't care. Exhaustion has completely taken over your body now that you've found satisfaction. An itch sits at the back of your mind - the mess - but you ignore it for the moment.

Jason pulls out of your sensitive cunt, more cum trickling down. He inhales sharply at the sight. "We made a mess."

You groan. "I told you we should've done this at home."

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

a/n: 125 FOLLOWERS. I am stunned. Speechless. Thank you all so much!! ♡♡♡

[sturniowhore]

Shut up!

Warnings: Fluff, slightly suggestive, make out sesh, Barely proof read

In which... Chris finds the perfect way to make you shut up

Chris has been staring at you for the last 30 minutes. Usually, not being able to get a word in the conversation would frustrate him, but right now, it's different. The way your lips move, the way you perfectly enunciate each and every word, he's hypnotized. Each thing you say goes into one ear and out the other.

You start talking with your hands, each gesture adding new elements to the topic. You talk fast, you don't notice, but he does. He notices everything. You talk fast when you're passionate about something, which is what you're doing at this very minute. The only thing he can't focus on is what you're talking about. Hes been staring at your lips for so long, imagining them on his that he completely zoned out.

At first you started talking about a weird Giraffe fact you found out about while scrolling on your phone, then transitioned into how Giraffes are youre celebrity crushes favorite animal, and then it moved on to what new projects said celebrity is working on. After that, he couldn't keep up.

He couldn't help it. You were just too pretty.

Chriss eyes kept moving from your lips to your eyes and then to your lips again. On occasion, his eyes would move lower to your cleavage that was peaking out of your shirt.

Chris was slowly starting to get impaitent. He so badly wanted to kiss you. It was killing him. He didn't want to interrupt you, but he didn't know what else to do.

His paitence was growing thinner and thinner to the point where he snapped.

"So then i -" You pause mid sentence. Eyes wide as Chriss lips abruptly crashed into yours. The taste of your sweet chap stick sticking to his taste buds. Your lips were so soft they were like clouds in the sky. He was in heaven.

Eventually you realized what was going on and closed your eyes. Slowly savoring the moment.

What first was a sweet kiss, turned into a heated make out session. Both of your tongues dance with each other. Your arms wrap around his neck, trying to keep yourself grounded. Chris groaned into your mouth at your actions.

Unfortunately, at some point, the two of you had to come up for air.

Your forehead rested on his. Heat was radiating from both of your bodies.

"What was that about?" The words fall out of your mouth as you laugh. "I just needed a way to shut you up," Chris grinned as your head flew back in laughter.

"You couldn't think of a better way? A tap on the shoulder? or you could've told me to be quiet or.." Your rambles began again, and Chris knew exactly what he needed to do to stop them.

[americasfavoritelesbian]

short n sweet s.b

pairs : sabby x fem!reader

in which : preferences

sabrina carpenter x taller fem!reader 💌 her preferences — fluff & nsfw (you’re way taller than her. she loves it.)

fluff 🍓

– calls you "giraffe" or “stretch” with a teasing smile, especially when you reach something off a high shelf for her – but also: "don't go getting a big head about it, just 'cause i can't reach the cereal" – absolutely loves cuddling with you and laying on top of you like you're her personal mattress – her favorite place is tucked under your chin, arms around your waist, legs tangled with yours – she wears your hoodie and it swallows her — you melt every time she rolls up the sleeves – she loves when you stand behind her and rest your chin on her head — she’ll pretend to be annoyed, but she leans into itevery time – takes pictures of your height difference when you're not looking and captions them “me and my skyscraper🗽” – constantly looks up at you with soft, admiring eyes like: “how’d i get you, huh?” – she has to go up on her tiptoes to kiss you and it makes her giggle every single time – her favorite thing? standing on your feet while dancing slow in the kitchen – she’s so clingy it’s insane — wraps around you like a koala and refuses to let go

nsfw 🧸 .

( NONSENSE TOLD US ) – loves being overpowered — loves how easily you can pick her up, press her against walls, lift her to the counter – obsessed with how your hands look compared to hers — especially when they’re on her thighs, hips, throat, everywhere – will literally say “you’re so tall it’s stupid. you’re stupid hot. do you know what you do to me?” – wears your clothes to bed just to have them peeled off slowly – wants to ride your thigh while whining in your ear about how good you feel – when you're hovering over her, she’ll grin and go, “god, you’re like a dream. like a really tall, hot dream.” – 100% lets you take control — loves being tossed around, manhandled gently, guided – but sometimes? tiny dom sabby comes out and she pushes you back just to say, “sit. tall girls listen too, y’know.” – gets flustered when you carry her to bed after she falls asleep on the couch. wakes up like, “…you’re ridiculous. i love you.”

love yall alienators

☆ ~ talula

🤍dts :: @nuggetchicken8 , @sabrinaicons , @xxdemitrakalogerasx , @itsstavy13 , @urgirlshay

[azzifudd10]

Somewhere To Land

Chapter Two: The Ache We Can't Shake

Azzi – 7:28 a.m.

Eli was up before the sun.

Teething made him restless—he gnawed on everything, including Azzi’s sleeve, her fingers, the corner of a baby book, and once, her ponytail. She’d spent most of the night bouncing him on her hip, whispering lullabies through dry lips, too tired to cry and too wired to sleep.

By morning, she looked in the mirror and barely recognized herself.

Dark circles. Cracked lips. Shoulders slumped like someone twice her age. The girl who used to dance in the vet clinic hallways between appointments was gone. In her place stood someone who had forgotten how to laugh.

Eli finally settled in his playpen around 7:00, chewing furiously on a silicone giraffe.

And now Azzi just… waited.

She wasn’t sure why she expected Paige to show up again. People always said things in moments that felt good—comforting, impulsive. Rarely did they follow through.

But when her phone buzzed at 7:31, it was a text from an unfamiliar number.

Paige B: “What’s Eli’s favorite color? Asking for Target reasons.”

Azzi blinked. Then typed: Azzi: “He mostly drools on things. So… soft blue?”

A minute later: Paige B: “Perfect. Blue it is. See you soon.”

Azzi stared at the message. She hadn’t smiled yet today. But now, her lips twitched.

Damn her.

Paige – 8:45 a.m.

She held the giant Target bag in one hand and knocked with the other, bouncing on her toes. She didn’t want to look too eager, but truthfully? She was. Something about Azzi—gritty, beautiful, closed-off Azzi—was pulling at her like gravity.

The door opened slowly.

Azzi stood there in sweats and a headwrap, looking equal parts exhausted and annoyed. But she let Paige in without a word.

“Morning,” Paige offered, holding up the bag like a peace offering. “No loud plastic crinkles. Baby-safe packaging, per Google.”

Azzi looked inside and blinked. Teething rings, soft washcloths, pacifiers shaped like dinosaurs, and a small blue stuffed octopus.

“I didn’t ask for any of this.”

“You didn’t have to.”

Azzi sighed, but her voice softened. “Thank you.”

Eli, propped on a blanket, gurgled happily when he saw Paige. She bent down, gently ruffled his soft curls, and whispered, “Hey, little dude.”

Azzi watched the exchange, arms folded. “You know you don’t have to keep showing up.”

“I know,” Paige said. “But I want to.”

Azzi swallowed. That was the problem.

Azzi – 10:19 a.m.

Paige was perched on the floor, legs folded, letting Eli stack blocks on her knee like it was the world’s weirdest construction site.

Azzi sat on the couch, sipping lukewarm tea, trying to ignore how easily Paige fit into the space. How her laugh wasn’t intrusive. How Eli already liked her.

This was dangerous. Familiarity led to feelings. And feelings led to loss.

“You don’t have to play the hero,” Azzi said suddenly, sharper than intended.

Paige looked up. “What?”

“This isn’t some rescue mission, Paige. You’re not obligated to fix anything.”

“I know that.”

“Do you?”

Paige’s brow furrowed, but her voice stayed even. “I’m not here to fix anything. I’m here because I like you. And I like him. And you both deserve not to feel so alone.”

Azzi looked away. Her hands trembled slightly in her lap.

“I’m scared,” she admitted, voice barely a whisper.

Paige didn’t say anything. Just sat there, letting the silence stretch. Then quietly, “Me too.”

Paige – 11:12 a.m.

She stayed until Eli fell asleep in her arms, his tiny fingers curled in her jersey.

Azzi had disappeared into the bedroom for a bit, and Paige didn’t push. She just rocked gently, letting the silence fill the room.

When Azzi returned, her eyes were red, but her shoulders looked looser. She sat beside Paige, not saying a word. Just... sat.

“Do you ever feel like you’re failing?” she asked finally.

“All the time,” Paige said. “But I think that means you’re trying.”

Azzi nodded, staring at the baby. “She named him Elias after the prophet. Said he was going to change the world.”

Paige looked at her, the rawness in her voice cutting through her like a blade.

“Can I ask you something?” Paige said gently.

Azzi nodded.

“Do you want to talk about her? Tasha?”

Azzi flinched, but then… something softened in her eyes.

“Yeah,” she whispered. “Yeah, I do.”

Azzi – 12:36 p.m.

It was the middle of summer when she met Tasha.

They’d both been nineteen. Tasha had transferred into Azzi’s biology lecture and sat beside her unprompted. Five minutes in, she whispered, “You’re the only one who looks more bored than me.”

They’d been inseparable after that. Not romantically—just soul-deep close. The kind of friendship that felt like a second heartbeat. Tasha laughed like thunder and cooked like her grandmother taught her—loud music, lots of butter, and no measuring cups. She’d been six months into a situationship when she found out she was pregnant.

“He’s mine,” she told Azzi, hand on her belly. “Even if it’s just me, I’ve got this.”

And she did.

Until the night she didn’t come home.

Azzi shook the memory away. Paige was still sitting quietly across from her, hands in her lap, gaze gentle.

“I miss her so bad it makes my bones ache.”

“I know,” Paige said. “I can’t imagine. But I’m here.”

Azzi nodded, eyes stinging.

Paige didn’t try to hold her. She didn’t move closer. She just stayed.

Azzi didn’t want comfort that came too easily. She wanted presence.

And Paige—God help her—was giving it.

[buddierecs]

jealous!evan buckley buddie fics

all explicit rating - 18+ only!!!!!! make sure to kudos/comment on these amazing works :)

if i need to rearrange my particles - i will for you by: dylaesthetics "buck joins a support app for first responders and matches with a firefighter who has ptsd and a kid who likes giraffes, apparently" word count: 45k important tags: secret identity, anonymous messaging, angst, mental health, ptsd, anxiety, panic attacks, sexuality crisis, mutual pining, fluff and smut, masturbation meet me in the middle (underneath a little bit of mistletoe) by: princessfbi "buck and eddie agree to fake date each other to get through dinner with their parents during the holidays!" word count: 40k important tags: fake dating, idiots to lovers, mutual pining, angst, fluff, smut, protective!eddie diaz, getting together, slow burn

finally found what i've been looking for by: fleetinghearts "buck's good at basketball, eddie's trying really hard not to commit an act of public indecency about it, and maybe, just maybe, a slightly bloody beachside pick-up game can be the start of something new" word count: 5k important tags: 7x04 spec, friends to lovers, fluff, unsafe sex, dry humping, hand jobs, praise kink 'till storm breaks loose by: markofalover "how an elbow to the face changes everything." word count: 6k important tags: 7x04, mutual pining, accidental injury, love confessions, getting together, possessive behaviour, sharing clothes, blow jobs, come eating, praise kink my home is your body by: coldbam "buck and eddie have vastly different nights at pride. then very similar summers" word count: 16k important tags: friends to lovers, friends with benefits, getting together, bottom!eddie diaz, top!evan buckley stay here, honey (i don't want to share) by: stockholm_syndrom "six months after eddie comes out to the team, and three months after eddie confesses his feelings for buck (and buck rejects him), eddie starts dating men. and buck is totally fine with that. really." word count: 9.6k important tags: mutual pining, oblivious!evan buckley, anal sex, oral sex, service top!evan buckley, bottom!eddie diaz, praise kink hot and heavy by: 42hrb "five times eddie had casual sex with someone who wasn't buck and the time they finally got their shit together" word count: 9.4k important tags: 5+1 things, slutty!eddie diaz, mutual pining, idiots to lovers, casual sex, porn with feelings, oral sex seen by: snailboat64 "hen lets it slip that she knows eddie is a great dancer, and buck is determined to see him in action. when he does, it's a revelation" word count: 14k important tags: eddie can dance, insecure!evan buckley, smut what a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you by: prettyboybuckley "the au where they're both strippers and buck goes from "i hate this guy" to "oh fuck, i think i'm in love with him" word count: 21k important tags: stripper/exotic dancer au, college student!evan buckley, eventual smut, grinding, anal sex, praise kink i only ever want you by: bucksclipboard "there’s jealousy, there’s fighting, there’s delicious makeup sex" word count: 2.7k important tags: pre-relationship, getting together, team as family, porn with plot, grinding, blow jobs, make up sex possessive behaviour by: whiskis "buck gets really possessive when he’s jealous and just wants eddie to remember that he’s his." word count: 2.8k important tags: possessive behaviour, established relationship, fluff and smut, blow jobs, teasing no one's touched me there in a damn hot minute! by: bisexualbuckley "buck is a little shit during their lunch date and eddie puts him in his place. but he can't help giving buck everything he wants either, not when he's that pretty." word count: 4.8k important tags: established relationship, brat!evan buckley, possessive behaviour, boys in love, praise kink, prostate massage, orgasm control, anal fingering, aftercare

[yutagfr]

Can you do one where bakugo is a first time dad? 😭 and he doesn't know what to do please!

A/n: uh It was kinda difficult at first but I hope you enjoy, it's also really short.

"The monster gone, he's on the run and your daddy's here"

The dim glow of the nightlight cast an eerie light on the bedroom, illuminating the exhausted faces of Bakugo and You as you lay in bed. The air was thick with the scent of sleep, and the only sound was the gentle hum of the city outside their window.

As you both lay in bed, Bakugou's snores were interrupted by a loud wail. He fluttered his eyes open, his gaze snapping into focus as he noticed you were awake. "What's wrong?" he growled, his voice rough from sleep.

Your expression was tired, but a hint of amusement danced in your eyes. "The baby needs feeding," You whispered.

Bakugo groaned, throwing back his head against the pillow. "Great. Just what I needed. A middle-of-the-night wake-up call."

You sat up, rubbing your temples. "You're on duty tonight, Kacchan."

Bakugo's eyes narrowed as he fixed his eyes on you. "I thought we had a system. I'm not exactly a morning person."

You handed him a diaper bag slung over your shoulder. "We did have a system, but you forgot, didn't you?"

His jaw clenched in frustration. "I'm not exactly known for my memory, okay? But that's not the point."

You raised an eyebrow and rolled your eyes. "What's your point?"

"My point is that I'm not exactly thrilled about being woken up in the middle of the night to deal with a screaming brat," Bakugo snarled, flinging off the covers.

You sighed, getting out of bed as well "I know it's not ideal, but someone has to do it."

The baby's wails grew louder, and your patience wore thinner. "Fine," Bakugou muttered, throwing off the covers and stumbling out of bed. "I'll go take care of him."

Bakugou followed you to the nursery, still grumbling under his breath. As you reached the crib, he peered down at the tiny human wailing in front of him.

"What do I do now?" he demanded, the diaper bag hanging off his shoulders.

You handed him a bottle and a pacifier. "Just...try to calm him down and feed him."

Bakugou scowled at the unfamiliar equipment. "This is ridiculous. Can't we just use...I don't know...magic or something?"

You flicked on the lights to the babies room. "It doesn't work that way, Kacchan."

Bakugou huffed and tried to take the bottle from your hand, but ended up dropping it instead.

"Great," he muttered under his breath. "Just perfect."

You patted him on the back, feeling bad but you knew he had to learn today or never.

Bakugou glared after you before turning back to the baby. He took a deep breath and tried to focus on calming down the tiny human in front of him.

He stood there, feeling like a complete failure, as he stared at the wailing baby. He let out a deep breath and tried to compose himself. This wasn't exactly the first time he'd been in this situation, but it still didn't make it any easier.

He picked up the baby and tried to rock him gently, but his awkwardness was evident. The baby's wails only grew louder, and Bakugou's scowl deepened. "Come on, kid, calm down already!"

You had given him a pacifier, which he held out to the baby with a scowl. "Here, shut it up already," he muttered.

To his surprise, the baby quieted down slightly, and Bakugou felt a glimmer of hope. Maybe this parenting thing wasn't going to be a total disaster after all.

The baby's tiny fists waved in the air, and Bakugou winced as one of them accidentally poked him in the chest.

You chuckled from behind him. "Maybe try rocking him?"

As he stumbled around the room, trying to find a comfortable spot to rock the baby, Bakugou's clumsiness only seemed to get worse. He stumbled over his own feet.

You burst out laughing at the sight of him stumbling around like a newborn giraffe. "Kats, maybe you should try sitting down?" You suggested.

Bakugou glared at you. "I don't need your help! I'm a professional...or at least, I will be once I figure out how to hold this brat with without dropping him."

You chuckled and handed him a pillow from the couch. "Try sitting down with him on your lap.

Bakugou grudgingly nodded and sat down in the rocking chair beside the crib. He awkwardly began to rock the baby back and forth, trying to find a rhythm that would soothe him.

The baby immediately quieted down, gazing up at him with big, round eyes.

Bakugou struggled to find a comfortable position. His arms ached from holding the baby upright, and his back hurt from trying to sit up straight. But he refused to give up.

As he rocked the baby, Bakugou couldn't help but think about how tiny and fragile this little human was. He was used to dealing with explosions and Quirks, not delicate babies.

But as he continued to rock, something strange happened. The baby's wails began to slow down, and eventually he quieted down altogether. Bakugou's eyes widened in surprise as he looked down at the sleeping baby in his arms.

Whoa, did I actually do it?

He felt a sense of pride and accomplishment wash over him, and for a moment, he forgot all about his grumpiness. He gently swayed back and forth in the rocking chair, feeling the baby's soft breath on his chest.

As he sat there, something unexpected happened. He started to relax. His tense muscles eased up, and his breathing slowed. For the first time in his life, he felt...calm.

And before he knew it, his own eyelids grew heavy. The last thing he remembered was feeling the baby's soft head against his shoulder before everything went dark.

"Maybe this whole thing isn't shitty after all."

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy.

[mattapparentlystumbltourneys]

Giraffe Girumble - Loser's Bracket 1 - C

Propaganda below (May contain spoilers!)

Durpleton Propaganda:

He is so dumb and loves his son.

He's a child. He's a dilf. He's comedic relief. He has a tragic backstory. He has a song about farts.

Gerald Propaganda:

Gerald invents his own style of dance after lots of soul searching and stuff. He's a dancing giraffe, just go with it ;)

[suguwu]

the first time your daughter calls him daddy, sae has to get up and leave the room for a little bit. she doesn't notice, still playing with her toys (new and noisy from rin, the bastard), but you do.

"sae?" you call softly, padding down the hallway.

"in here."

you nudge open the door to your daughter's room, where the flickering nightlight is making sae's shadow dance against the wall.

he's tracing a long, elegant finger over the ridge of her favorite present from rin, a ratty giraffe she's had since the cradle. the set of his mouth is strange; you can't see his eyes.

"are you okay?"

"i'm fine."

"you don't have to pretend."

he glances back at you. his long lashes flutter against the curve of his cheek; his teal eyes shine, the tropical sea beneath the sun.

"i'm not pretending."

"then what is it?"

"would you have kept her from me forever?"

cold curls up your spine, frost creeping from bone to bone. "i don't know," you say, a little bit helpless.

he watches you for a moment. his handsome face is impassive; he could be carved from stone. then he's brushing past you, heading back to the living room.

"sae—"

he doesn't look back.

[lamardeuse]

Friday fanfic fragments

tagged by @eddiestightywhities <3

This is one I've posted before, a start on a 911 AU where Buck is an LFB firefighter and Eddie is the new pro on Strictly Come Dancing, which seems like something fun to throw out there in the current moment. I'm tempted to pick it up again - I dropped it because reckoning with Grenfell made it hard to find the right tone.

The first thing Eddie thinks is: goddamn, he is huge.

Not just ripped as hell, but tall, topping Eddie by half a head, which means he’s probably going to have to be the lead. And doesn’t that throw a monkey wrench into all of Eddie’s plans.

Plastering on a TV (sorry, telly) ready smile, he puts his best foot forward and extends a hand. “I’m Eddie,” he says. “And you must be Evan.”

“Buck, actually,” the guy says, returning the smile and making a small tingling feeling two-step along Eddie's nerve endings. “Everyone calls me Buck.”

“Your name is Buck Buckley?” Eddie asks, just as the guy’s warm, strong hand wraps around his and that tiny little tingle Eddie was feeling spikes to twenty thousand volts.

“Yeah, erm,” Buck begins, “it’s sort of a crap play on Evan Evans, because for a while there I was always traveling, and – you’ve never heard of them, have you?”

“Nope,” Eddie says. Evan’s – Buck’s eyes are a stunning, clear blue and his mouth has a sensual fullness to it that makes Eddie want to bite it.

Down, boy. Eddie has heard all about the Strictly curse from Karen, who has so many salacious stories about Blackpool after-parties and heated assignations outside of London clubs. She loves dishing the gossip while never being the subject of it herself; Eddie can only imagine what she’d have to say if he fucked a smoking hot firefighter who danced in a same-sex pairing on the show. He’d be on a plane back to LA before he could say Daily Mail.

Not that Buck Buckley – dios mio – is necessarily available, or interested in a fling that will doubtless get him paparazzi parked outside his door. But then, neither is Eddie. At the end of the day, he has a kid at home who comes first, and he’s not going to risk disrupting Christopher’s life for an affair.

Not that he'd be up for a relationship, either. That's not what he's here for; he can't afford to get too attached to anyone when he's not planning to be here any longer than he has to be.

Eddie belatedly realizes their hands are still entwined and pulls away, his fingertips gliding over Buck’s palm as they let go.

“I’m afraid you’ve got your work cut out,” Buck says, clearing his throat. “My mates say I have all the grace of a day-old giraffe on ice.”

“Any of your ‘mates’ professional dancers?” Eddie asks.

Buck shakes his head. “Not a one.”

“Then they don’t know shit,” Eddie tells him. He looks Buck up and down. “How much do you deadlift?”

“Erm,” Buck thinks about it. “Last week it was eighty.”

“Pounds?”

Buck snorts. “Kilos, bruv.”

“Uh,” Eddie says, “holy shit.”

They can do lifts. Buck could lift him.

And then Buck ducks his head and smiles, and Eddie thinks, this is going to be fun.

tagging anyone who wants to play!

[caffienated-kiddo]

Childhood book series - Giraffes Can't Dance!

DNI IF NSFW

[gyustarzzi]

ateez reacts to accidentally hurting you

☆ hongjoong

accidentally hits you with the door

you were in your room on your phone and saw something interesting that you wanted to show hongjoong

just as you were at the door you dropped your phone

you bend over to pick it up and the minute you lifted your head hongjoong opened the door and bumped it into your head

instantly worries about you

rubs your head and watches the video you wanted to show him

would give you a hug

" Omg! Star I'm so sorry!! "

★ seonghwa

drops something on your head

you and seonghwa were making pancakes

seonghwa was behind you while your were trying to reach for the pancake powder

seonghwa reached up to grab the pancake powder and suddenly drops it on your head

you would cry out in pain

he spins you around checking your scalp for any bruises

kisses your forehead and apologizes

in the end you guys make some amazing pancakes shaped as hearts

" I'm so sorry, I lost my grip "

☆ yunho

punches you in the face

you and yunho were trying to see who would flinch first and whoever lost would have to do a dare

yunho was trying to make you flinch by almost punching you but getting closer to your face each time -  suddenly punches you in the face

would check you nose to make sure it's not bleeding

apologies 45478 times

would let you finger flick him on the forehead

" Are you bleeding? Let me see "

★ yeosang

bumps into you (HARD)

you and the guys were playing tag at the beach

yeosang was being chasing by wooyoung who was it

suddenly runs into you and sends you flying in the air LITERALLY

the members would be so worried since you were crying

you probably had like two bruises and a sore ass

would not stop apolozing and would take you to get a bunch of snacks

" Omg Angel!! Are you okay?! "

☆ san

he dropped you while carrying you bridal style

you guys were at the amusement park and san had the brilliant idea to carry you in front of everyone

you were struggling to break free and from all the moving you were doing he lost his grip

you hit the ground pretty hard on your back

people would be looking at you worriedly since your literally laughing/crying and san's rubbing your back worried

would get you a stuffed animal to make up for hurting you

you got a cute giraffe and named it Jeff

" Jeff? That sounds fine with me "

★ mingi

falls on you

you and mingi got hoverboards for christmas and what wouldn't be christmas without trying out your gifts

mingi was trying to impress you by doing spins and lifting up one leg on it

tries to do it again and ends up collasping into you making you both hit the ground

you were nearly crushed by his weight and was struggling to breathe

you guys couldn't stop laughing when you found out wooyoung got the whole thing on video

" I'm so sorry…I was just trying to impress you"

☆ wooyoung

trips you

you guys were trying to see who was the fastest by running up and down your hallway

it was your turn to run and wooyoung was watching you when suddenly a thought came to his mind

while you were running wooyoung threw a slipper in the hallway while you weren't looking

you instantly tripped, the shoe flying mid-air and hitting you on the head while you hit the ground hard

laughs so hard that he can't breathe

don't worry you got him back when you poured water on him while he was sleeping on a hammock at the beach

" I don't regret anything "

★ jongho

accidentally runs over you -  the members were riding kid's tricycle around the dance studio

jongho was riding his while singing some song's and had his eye closed half the time

while he was doing that you were laying on the ground watching youtube

right when he was about to hit the high note in  wonderland he ran over you, crushing you under his tricycle

took him a second to realize what was going on and would get off of you

checks to make sure your okay and laughs about it once your fine

" I'm sorry that I ran you over but that was so funny "