#Gingerbread Humor Gifts
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
noisycowboyglitter · 5 months ago
Text
Oh Balls Snowflake: Perfect for Your Naughty Christmas Celebrations
"Oh Snap Gingerbread Christmas" is a playful and witty twist on traditional holiday themes, combining the classic gingerbread motif with a modern exclamation. This concept evokes images of a fun, slightly irreverent take on Christmas celebrations.
Tumblr media
Buy now:19.95$
The phrase "Oh Snap" adds a contemporary, humorous touch to the timeless gingerbread tradition. It could be interpreted in multiple ways:
As a reaction to a gingerbread house collapsing or a cookie breaking, turning a potential baking disaster into a moment of laughter.
A clever design on holiday merchandise, featuring a gingerbread man or house with the phrase "Oh Snap" incorporated.
The theme for a holiday party or event that combines gingerbread-making activities with modern games or entertainment.
This concept could inspire various products and activities, such as quirky Christmas sweaters, novelty baking aprons, or themed party games. It might also be used in social media campaigns or advertising to appeal to a younger or more humor-oriented audience.
Tumblr media
Buy now
"Oh Snap Gingerbread Christmas" represents a blend of traditional holiday elements with contemporary pop culture, creating a fresh and entertaining approach to seasonal festivities. It's perfect for those who enjoy their Christmas celebrations with a side of humor and whimsy.
A Christmas gift is a token of love, appreciation, and holiday cheer given during the festive season. These presents come in various forms, from carefully wrapped packages under the tree to thoughtful gestures and experiences shared with loved ones.
Christmas gifts can range from practical items to luxury indulgences, handmade crafts to store-bought treasures. They often reflect the giver's understanding of the recipient's tastes, needs, or desires. Popular choices include electronics, clothing, books, toys, jewelry, and gift cards.
Tumblr media
Buy now
The act of giving Christmas gifts is deeply rooted in tradition, symbolizing the generosity of St. Nicholas and the biblical Magi. It's a way to spread joy, strengthen bonds, and create lasting memories.
For many, the true value of a Christmas gift lies not in its monetary worth, but in the thought, effort, and sentiment behind it. The exchange of gifts is a cherished part of holiday celebrations worldwide.
Funny Secret Santa ideas add a dose of humor and creativity to the traditional gift exchange. These gifts aim to surprise and amuse recipients, often incorporating elements of playful mischief or gentle teasing. Popular options include quirky gadgets like a desktop zen garden for stressed colleagues, novelty items such as bacon-scented
Tumblr media
Buy now
candles or unicorn meat in a can, and humorous books or games. Personalized gag gifts tailored to the recipient's interests or inside jokes can be particularly entertaining. Some ideas push boundaries with silly adult-themed presents, while others focus on practical items with a funny twist, like animal-shaped oven mitts or punny mugs. The key is to choose gifts that provoke laughter without offense, ensuring a lighthearted and memorable Secret Santa experience for all participants.
0 notes
enlysia · 14 days ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
WINTER THINGS ❅.⊹₊ ⋆❆ ENHYPEN OT7
❛ my baby's in town and we're gonna do
some winter things ❜
enhypen and cute christmas drabbles / headcanons
genre — fluff pairing — bf!enha x gn!reader
warnings — cliché and tooth rotting fluff. comfort. skinship. lighthearted teasing. bad attempt at humor :/ lots of kisses :3
word count — 2.3k
this is a work of fiction, which does not accurately portray or represent the people included.
author note — this is my first literary attempt on here (i've wrote before though) so i hope you enjoy~♡ reblogs, likes and comments are so sooo appreciated >.< ALSO merry christmas lovies !
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⋆ ⠀˳. ⋆ ⠀˳. ⠀⋆ ⠀ 🤍 ⠀⋆ ⠀˳. ⠀⋆ ⠀˳. ⠀⋆
︶꒦︶꒷︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶꒷꒦︶
— LEE HEESEUNG (이희승)
a disco ball spins lazily overhead, casting scintillating light across the scene and highlighting your stunning features as you sing and dance with carefree abandon. the energy in the karaoke room is electric, pure ecstasy, filled with giggles and love as you and heeseung luxuriate in this festive experience together.
neon lights flicker, casting a fancy glow on the walls, while oversized snowflakes drift from the ceiling. tinsel wraps around the edges, and small christmas trees are scattered throughout, adding whimsy to the scene. the glossy ebony floor reflects the vibrance of the room, shifting in time with the music.
at center stage, side by side, you stand in matching festive sweaters, each one accentuated with cheeky designs, and santa hats perched jauntily atop your heads. the large screen ahead flashes the lyrics to holiday classics, like “last christmas,” inviting you to sing along. the microphone passes back and forth between you, laughter dissipating in the air as you alternate singing each line, teasing one another with exaggerated, dramatic performances. the energy is lighthearted, infectious—humor and charm woven into every note.
heeseung sings with effortless flair, his voice steady and angelic: “last christmas, i gave you my heart…”
you join in, your voice bubbly, slightly off-key: “but the very next day, you gave it away…”
heeseung grins, delivering the next line with dramatic finesse: “this year, to save me from tears…”
you slowly step closer, your motion calculated, a cheeky smile tugging at your lips, singing: “i’ll give it to someone special…”
crackles fill the atmosphere between you, the music fading as your eyes meet. the world around you seems to still, the tension palpable. without a word, you reach out, pulling him in for a soft, light kiss—brief, but sweet, leaving a flutter of butterflies in your chest. the moment feels unexpectedly intimate, a perfect harmony to the uplifting pandemonium surrounding you.
you pull away slowly, breathless, smiles blooming across your flushed faces. heeseung snickers, his eyes twinkling with affection. “guess i just gave you my heart.”
“best christmas gift ever,” you beam, your eyes sparkling with mischief, a playful contrast to his soft smile.
ㅤ──────────────────────────
— PARK JAY (박종성)
in the cozy warmth of the kitchen, you’re swept up in the joyful chaos of baking gingerbread cookies with jay. flour dusts the countertops and clings to your clothes, creating a soft, white duvet of mess around you—reminiscent of delicate snowflakes. laughter saturates the air as you take turns feeding each other pieces of raw dough, your fingers lightly dusted with flour as you gently press the sticky mixture to each other's mouths.
christmas songs echo through the culinary space, reverberating against the walls and in your chests as you both chant together, lost in the euphoria of the moment, exchanging loving glances that speak louder than words.
jay laughs, reaching forward to wipe a smudge of flour from your lips. “i don’t think we’re baking cookies anymore. i think we’re just making a mess.”
“we’re going to need a snowplow at this point,” you reply with a grin, flicking a bit of dough at him.
“it looks like we’ve been caught in a flour blizzard!” he exclaims, tossing a handful of flour at you like a snowball.
“you’re ridiculous,” you murmur, cracking up as you toss some back at him.
“didn’t know humans could create a snowstorm,” he teases, closing the distance between you, his flour-covered hands leaving fingerprints on your cheeks as he gently cups your face and sows a tender peck to your lips.
you lean in to return the sweet caress. the flour on your faces smears, only adding to the charm of the moment. your love fills the kitchen, blending with the warm, sweet scent of baking cookies and the gentle illumination of holiday lights dancing around you. it’s a perfect, simple moment of bliss, shared between you—lost in the miracle of the season and the alchemy of your connection.
ㅤ──────────────────────────
— SIM JAKE (심재윤)
the soothing notes of soft jazz sweep through the living room, blending harmoniously with the gentle sound of snowflakes tapping against the windows, creating a serene, wintery symphony.
you and jake stand close together beneath the christmas tree, its twinkling lights casting a comforting shine that waltzes across the homemade ornaments adorning its branches. the tree stands proudly in the corner, already surrounded by a growing pile of carefully bundled gifts.
laughter bubbles between you both as you wrap each other in sparkling tinsel. the lustrous silver and gold strands wind around you like a cozy winter cocoon, shimmering with each movement. playful bickering dominates the air as you both try to outdo each other, draping the tinsel in ever more extravagant loops, each determined to “mummify” the other in the most festive way possible. every touch unites you, a silent promise of love and connection woven into the twinkle of the tinsel.
the warmth of the moment engulfs the room and your hearts, as you revel in the sweet bond of togetherness and lighthearted disagreement.
“you’re wrapping it too tight! i can’t even move!” you object, attempting to wriggle free from the glossed restraints.
jake chuckles, clearly pleased with his work. “you look so festive... like the living version of the christmas spirit!”
“i look like i’m stuck in a tinsel straightjacket!” you groan, rolling your eyes dramatically.
jake’s grin widens, his eyes alive with mischief. “well, now you can’t escape all the kisses i plan to give you.” with that, he leans in, planting a series of soft, lingering kisses on your face, each one drawing a giggle from you despite your playful protests.
ㅤ──────────────────────────
— PARK SUNGHOON (박성훈)
beneath the soft glow of twinkling christmas lights, you stand at the edge of the ice, at the heart of a vintage ice-skating rink. the rink’s aged charm is alive with the laughter and warmth of friends and families gliding gracefully across the frozen sheet, their joy filling the frosty air. the atmosphere is an effortless blend of nostalgia and festive cheer, with colorful lights casting an echo on the rink’s frosty smooth, glistening surface.
you hesitate, your breath catching in the cool, crisp air. the crystal gleams before you, the facade stretching out in a perfect, inviting expanse, yet your feet feel rooted to the ground. a flicker of doubt crosses your mind as you shift your weight from one foot to the other, watching the skaters cruise fluently by. the thought of slipping, of losing your balance, twists your stomach into knots.
“yeah, i think we definitely need the skating penguin aid,” sunghoon teases, extending his hand with a grin, his eyes glinting with tomfoolery. he gestures toward the rink with mock grandeur. “unless you want me to wrap you in bubble wrap first.”
“shut up, i’m fine,” you murmur, though the panic is evident as you grab his hand like a lifeline. “i’m totally fine, i just... don’t want to die today.”
he laughs, the sound warm and reassuring. his gaze softens as he squeezes your hand, grounding you with his touch. “don’t worry,” he says with a playful smile. “you’re not going to die, i promise. i’ll protect you... unless i fall first, in which case, we’re both doomed.”
“you’re a pro. you won’t fall,” you mutter, throwing him a skeptical side-eye.
“exactly,” he replies nonchalantly. “now hold on tight. i’ll make you a skating pro in no time—or at least keep you from face-planting.” his grin widens as he pulls you close, his steady hands guiding you as he nuzzles in to plant a soft-spoken kiss to your forehead. the warmth of his embrace lingers, a gentle promise of both support and affection, keeping you centered as you take your first shaky steps onto the ice.
amidst the festive bustle of the holiday season—surrounded by laughter, christmas melodies, and the rhythmic sound of skates cutting through the ice—you share this moment together. it’s a sweet, tender embrace, where your hearts beat in perfect harmony, filled with love, coziness, and the magic of the season.
ㅤ──────────────────────────
— KIM SUNOO (김선우)
within the crisp winter air, you find yourself seated in a ferris wheel cabin, suspended high above a bustling winter wonderland. the gentle motion of the ride slows, as if time itself has paused to savor this fleeting moment. around you, the ferris wheel glows with festive decorations—twinkling fairy lights, ribbons, and garlands entwining a spell of seasonal enchantment.
below, the holiday fair stretches out like a canvas of shimmering christmas lights, their warm glow spilling over streets and rooftops. the distant hum of carols and laughter drifts upward, blending seamlessly with the stillness of the night. in this tranquil embrace, the world below blurs, leaving only the soft presence of sunoo beside you and the serene beauty of the season.
you gaze beneath, your voice barely a whisper. “this doesn't feel real. it’s like a snow globe.”
sunoo’s eyes remain on you, a small sneer playing at his lips. “it is.”
you turn to him, holding back a giggle as your eyes sparkle. “you’re not even looking at the fair.”
he shrugs, his voice laced with hazy charm. “why would i? i’ve already got the best view right here.”
“you’re so corny,” you tease, rolling your eyes as you nudge him playfully.
the ferris wheel creaks as it pauses at its peak, the view stretching endlessly around you. sunoo reaches for your gloved hand, his fingers interlocking with yours as he gazes into your eyes, his expression mellow.
“can i kiss you?” he asks, a slight hesitation in his voice.
you nod, your cheeks flushed from the cold—and maybe from something else. “you don’t need to ask.”
he inches closer, and your lips meet in a kiss that feels suspended in time. the world below fades into a blur of fluorescence, the cold long forgotten as you lose yourself in the moment. when you finally pull away, your cheeks are even redder, your breath coming in soft bursts as you let out a quiet laugh.
ㅤ──────────────────────────
— YANG JUNGWON (양정원)
the late winter breeze mingled with the deep midnight blues as you and jungwon stood side by side in the soft, falling snow in the park. hands wrapped in mittens and bundled up in scarves and coats, you rolled large snowballs together, giggling at the clumsy mishaps that unfolded with each playful turn. the cold air nipped at your faces, but the heat between you made the breeze feel almost comforting. you worked in harmony, shaping the snow into a snowman, your palms brushing against each other with every gentle adjustment, each stroke a silent exchange of affection in the quiet of the night.
when the snowman was finally complete, jungwon’s face lit up with a proud grin, his voice full of childlike excitement. “we’re finally done!” he exclaimed, as though you’d just achieved something monumental.
you beamed back at him, feeling the thrill of the instant. but before you could gather yourself, he pulled you close, spinning you in the soft, snowflakes cascading from above. you gasped in surprise, chuckles pouring out of your lips as you tumbled together, the snowman toppling over with a dramatic thud, burying itself in the white blanket below.
you both landed in the icy duvet, gasping with laughter. jungwon, eyes shining with impishness, smirked at the fallen frosty figure and then turned to you, his voice teasing. “guess it’s nap time!”
you shook your head in playful exasperation. “really? you had to do that?”
his cat-like eyes glinted with amusement as he shot you a wide, cheeky grin. “it wasn’t my fault! the snowman just wanted a nap.”
“a nap? it was standing perfectly!” you replied, letting out a dramatic sigh, your breath puffing in the crispy air.
“it had dreams, okay?” jungwon sniggered, his voice warm and teasing. then, with a sly gleam in his gaze, he leaned in. his lips brushed softly against yours, a delicate, lingering kiss that felt like the quiet flare of a secret shared between you. the blanket of stars above seemed to shimmer even brighter, as if the universe itself had held its breath, adding a touch of magic to the moment.
ㅤ──────────────────────────
— NISHIMURA RIKI (西村力)
you and riki are staying in a cozy, rustic cabin nestled deep in the woods, smothered by freshly fallen snow. the log exterior of the cabin is dusted with fragile snowflakes, while hazy, golden light spills from the windows, casting a warm, peaceful glow on the world outside. a wreath of pine branches adorned with bright red ribbons hangs cheerfully on the front door, adding a festive touch to the winter landscape.
inside, the neon lights of the christmas tree shimmer and sway, casting faint, colorful shadows on your faces while the comforting taste of hot chocolate lingers on your lips. the scent of pine and cinnamon hangs in the air, a perfect synchrony of winter fragrances that floods your senses. wrapped in the woolen blanket fort you built earlier, you huddle close by the stone fireplace, the only sounds being the hissing of the flames and the occasional bursts of laughter you share while watching your favorite holiday classics.
“this fort looks like it’s going to collapse any second,” you say, glancing up at the leaning blankets with a mischievous hint of worry.
riki’s laughter fills the space as the fort creaks ominously.
his eyes shine with playful schemes as he turns to you. “nah, this fort could rival the pyramids. a true wonder of the world.”
you snort, giving his arm a lighthearted shove. “if the pyramids were built with chairs and duct tape.”
he grins, feigning mock offense. “stop! this is engineering excellence at its finest.”
“as long as you’re happy,” you tease, your heartfelt smile full of compassion as your gaze meets his.
with a soft chuckle, riki delicately tugs you closer, gifting a tender kiss to your forehead. his fingers gently tuck a stray lock of hair behind your ear, his touch prolonged as the moment feels timeless—mute, safe, and filled with true love.
ㅤ──────────────────────────
© enlysia ᐸ/3² ― 2024 — all rights reserved. do not copy, plagiarize, translate my work, or post it on other sites.
ccto for the cute dividers
Tumblr media
220 notes · View notes
razorblade180-heated · 13 days ago
Text
A Naughty Gift
[Warning:Smut. It’s like 90% smut]
There’s no season like the Christmas season. Grimm missions were on the low and the only trouble to be found was lack of ham. That and traffic; man did Jaune have enough of traffic. Five hours of guiding civilians across roads may sound like an easy mission, but doing it in cold snow was a special layer of pain. Boy was he glad to be off.
As he walked into his shared apartment, the wonderful smell of gingerbread and hot chocolate warmed his soul. “Ah~ the smell of joy. Man, I love the holidays.”
He looked around the baker of such treats, but did not find the chef or her assistant. “Ruby? Weiss?” Not a single response. Maybe they stepped out.
Jaune moseyed his way into the kitchen to grab a cookie, but was halted by a note on the dish that said, “Focus on your gift.” A gift? Had they hidden one for him. It was Christmas Eve and Weiss had been super strict about touching absolutely nothing under the tree.
“I doubt it’s there.” He thought, fearing the consequences of unwrapping a present. He knew what they got him, but still had to play by holiday rules. Next likely place would be his room. But first, he wanted to see if anything was strange about theirs.
Jaune walked down the hall and went to Weiss’s room, the first door on the right. He carefully peeked inside to see a pristinely made bed and light blue mood lighting that put snowflakes on the wall. Nothing out of place here.
He then went deeper into the hall to the first room on the left; Ruby’s room. Jaune was way more comfortable opening up the door wider than Weiss’s. Once again, nobody was in there. The strange thing however was Ruby’s bed was also made!
“That’s slightly concerning.” He thought to himself. Now they were definitely planning something. Everything is only spick and span at the same time when thought of doing it later would be incredibly bothersome. Guess his room left. Unless they were both hiding in the bathroom, which he highly doubted.
There was still also the possibility they simply weren’t home. They had finished their missions ahead of him but they could’ve stepped out. Jaune twisted the knob to his room and opened the door. Immediately his face went red and his eyes became bigger than the cookies Ruby baked.
“Well hello. I guess you are home.”
On his bed with a proud grin and red cheeks was Ruby. She waved as best she could with hands bound together by a red ribbon that wrapped around her figure, covering only her chest and restraining her legs a little as well. The only thing stopping her from being completely naked was a Santa hat. Much like her partner, who was a thousand times more embarrassed.
Weiss laid right beside Ruby in blue ribbon that had her wrists tied behind her back. The girl looked a little pouty to be put in such a situation. It was clear who’s idea this was.
“How the heck did she talk you into this?” Jaune said, more intrigued than aroused.
“She insisted this was a Christmas idea she wanted to try at least once. I caved.”
Ruby giggled. “Oh don’t act like you weren’t interested at all.”
“Maybe one on one! This is a lot…” She looked at Jaune anxiously. “I hope you know this took a lot of effort! I can’t tell you how infuriating it was to get the Arma Gigas to tie us.”
“I didn’t even know that was possible.”
“Neither did I! My sister would kill me if she knew this is how I made use of my training.” Weiss lamented.
Ruby kissed her cheek and nudged the girl. “Cheer up! I’m very proud of you for humoring me, and I’m sure someone else is.”
It was true, although he didn’t need to tell them that. Both pairs of eyes watched a tent try to pitch itself under jeans in real time. Jaune couldn’t help but chuckle and sigh.
“Never a dull moment in this apartment.”
“Happy early Christmas!” Ruby cheered. “Though this is technically a gift to me, I’m sure we’ll all cherish it.”
Jaune began taking off his armor at a normal pace as much as possible. “I guess now is as good a time as any to give you both a present each.”
“Oh?” Weiss raised a brow. “An actual gift, or was that your way of being cheeky?”
“Haha, cut me some slack.” Jaune walked over to his nightstand and pulled out two small wrapped boxes. “I wasn’t going to put these under the tree considering it was pretty tongue and cheek. Not to mention sorta a joke. Since we’re here though…”
The girls watched him open the red gift that was clearly meant for Ruby. Her curiosity grew more and more until it turned into flustered shock as Jaune pulled out a red collar with her symbol on it. Words failed her. She tried her damndest not to look at Weiss, whose jaw was trying to hit the bed.
“So…that’s what you two get up to?”
“N-Not all the time! It’s just that…ever since I saw how assertive he was with you, I’ve asked him to try a few times on me.” Ruby muttered.
“Don’t pin your awakenings on me!” Weiss heard more wrapper tearing and looked at Jaune with immediate concern. “Hold on-”
“Relax, it’s not what you’re thinking.”
“Are you certain?” Weiss watched anxiously as Jaune opened the box and pulled out fuzzy light blue handcuffs. An immediate sigh of relief left her lungs and made Ruby squint.
“That’s an interesting reaction. What had you freaking out, hmmm?”
“Listen, some kinks don’t need to be shared.” Weiss blushed deeply. “Leave me with a shred of dignity.”
“We’re naked and wrapped right now but sure, keep your shred. It’s not like I’m in any position to judge right now.” Ruby said lovingly. Right as she finished, Jaune, who was now only in boxers, tilted her head up gently and put the collar on; her face matched the hat on her head immediately. “See? I’m going through it right now.”
“Wasn’t this your idea?” Jaune reminded
“Not the collar! At least not in this situation! I-” Her mind was utterly derailed as he tugged on her gift gently with his right middle finger, pulling her forward until she was on her knees. Ruby’s hands fell against Jaune’s waistband. His right hand moved from the collar to the side of her face. Ruby looked up into deep blue eyes that waited firmly, yet patiently.
“Well? Don’t you want your present?” He said in the voice she loved so dearly.
Ruby didn’t speak. There was nothing really to say honestly. Her fingers tugged the boxer down, freeing the girthy cock underneath. The scent was dizzying to her senses. She had forgotten Jaune had come from work, and yet that only served to lower her head impatiently. In one motion, Ruby swallowed Jaune, working her way to the base of his shaft as the hand on her left began gently rubbing it. Her ears were burning, waiting to hear what always came next when she listened.
“That’s my girl.”
Weiss’s own face became pink as she watched her girlfriend’s head bob up and down slowly. Her gaze turned to Jaune who’s attention was locked onto her. Weiss could feel her heart flutter. He didn’t even put the cuffs on. Although he really didn’t need to in this situation.
“Can you walk?” He asked.
“Y-Yes.” Why was she stuttering now of all times!? Weiss got up from the bed and slowly made her way over to his left side. Her curiosity got the better of her and she looked down at Ruby again. The redhead was trying her best to keep Jaune deep in her throat but clearly struggled, occasionally stopping before the base and attempting to compose herself before trying again. If it was her down there, Jaune would’ve bucked his hips the instant she stopped. Weiss bit her lip at the thought.
“Jealous?” Jaune said, teasing the snow angel mildly.
“As if.” Weiss turned her nose up at the accusation. Her act of pride all but melted through as she felt Jaune’s left hand run up her body. The weight of fingers around her throat made her sigh shakily in yearning as he continued a little further up. Weiss felt him take control of her lower jaw, coaxing her body to stand up on their toes and accept a kiss that robbed her tongue with no intention of returning it. Jaune’s arms moved around her lower back to keep her steady. Weiss appreciated that.
Just like that, the room became an echo chamber of deep yearning. Moans from the trio slipped out alongside the sound of lustful slurps and smacks. Jaune couldn’t help but squeeze Weiss’s soft, plump rear as he tried to control his pleasure. Ruby’s mouth was like a furnace that threatened to melt him as her tongue lathered his cock. In truth, Jaune wasn’t much for aggression in the bedroom often, but they really knew how to rile him up.
Ruby had to remove herself briefly to breathe, coughing as she gasped. Her rest was short lived however as Jaune’s hand ran through her hair and pressed her face against his dick. Not one to keep him waiting, she began sucking and licking along the shaft, causing him to flinch. If only her hands weren’t tied. Her own core was beginning to ache and it looked like she wasn’t alone. Despite her earlier behavior, Weiss was now drowning in a kiss that had her legs trembling.
“Can you please untie us?” Ruby cooed, trying to sway the man.
Jaune broke his kiss with Weiss and let the girl catch her breath. “Mmm I don’t know.” He said, looking down at the flushed reaper. “You both look really cute like this.”
His teasing only made Ruby lose more strength. Her lips continued to play along his shaft. “I…I can’t touch myself like this.”
“Aw, is that what you want?”
Ruby felt his hand slide to her nape. Jaune slowly leaned forward, dragging his fingers down her spine and causing Ruby to raise her hips further until she felt his middle and index slide into her. “Nnngh~” her entire body trembled. Ruby wrapped her lips back around Jaune’s cock as she felt him dig into her. Damn the ribbons. She couldn’t spread her legs wider. To make things worse, the relief turned to dismay as his fingers left her. Ruby tried to groan in frustration, but they merely turned to whimpering.
“I can take care of her.” Weiss said, still a little shaky. No way could she survive another kiss like that.
Jaune had other ideas however. “Or… you both could swap?” He could see the flicker in their eyes. It was surprising they lasted this long doing what the other preferred.
“That could work.” They said in unison.
Jaune removed his boxers completely and laid down in the middle of the bed. It didn't take long at all for to crawl up his right side and get pulled into a mouthwatering kiss that led to their tongues fighting for dominance. The battle wasn’t in her favor unfortunately. With her so close to him, his hand had no problem sliding down her finger and reaching her pussy again. She wasn’t spared this time. Two fingers returned to ruin her, curling their way inside as they pushed in.
“AAAAGHHN~” Her tongue submitted control; Ruby quickly lost so much strength as her hips quivered from assault. Jaune’s left hand returned to the back of her head, keeping her nice and close. She was not escaping this kiss.
On the left side of the bed, Weiss found herself in an equally favorable position. She always did her best work away from prying eyes no matter the circumstances. As deeply as she loved Ruby, there was a thrill in throwing away her inhibitions so while the redhead was none the wiser. Jaune was aware of this, which made seeing his cock pointing to the ceiling all the more exciting. Weiss laid right next to it, dragging her tongue all the way up to the tip before swallowing him whole without issue. She had lost track how many times she’s done this little trick. Each time, it got the results she wanted.
Weiss felt Jaune pulse in her throat, his hips immediately raising up to fill her mouth repeatedly. Her cheeks burned red. Gods, why was she like this? Weiss swirled her tongue around his uncompromising erection, getting a full taste of the precum leaking out while he slowly fucked her throat. Weiss was now torn by Ruby’s early request. She really didn’t need her hands, but it was impossible to ignore how quickly her thighs were getting damp. No one was touching her at all and yet she could feel her walls squeez down on what wasn’t there.
“Mmph~” she moaned, anticipating not only her future pleasure, but the load she’d soon taste. Weiss sucked harder.
Jaune groaned as he put up their best fight. “Thank goodness my mission wasn’t intense today!” He did his best to focus on Ruby but Weiss wasn’t making that easy. Thankfully he knew their weaknesses as well as they knew his.
Ruby felt like she was in a pure trance. Her body steadily found balance in their make out session and she tried her best to hold out. That was…until Jaune had to go and break her concentration. His left hand finally moved from her head but fell down towards chests. Ruby broke the kiss. “N-No! Wait!” She gasped, but her plea was ignored.
Nimble fingers slipped through the wrapping paper and captured her right nipple, latching onto it like a clamp.
“AAANGNH!!!” She cried out without restraint. Ruby’s breath became nothing more than ragged panting
“You always were sensitive here.” Jaune teased, pulling lightly while biting her earlobe. He will give her no room for escape. Jaune pumped his fingers harder until she was sopping wet.
Ruby’s vision blurred. “I…I’M….!” Everything went white. Her voice let out a dry, strained wail that made Weiss blush deeply. Ruby felt her orgasm flow down her trembling legs as Jaune continued to rub her walls. “MERCY!! JAUNE! I CAN’T…” She whined, tears welling up.
“Yes you can.” He whispered, reducing her to a puddle. “You’re doing so well cumming everywhere.”
Her orgasm felt never ending. Jaune had taken it and demanded more of her lust with each passing second, until another wave hit. “AAAGNH!”
“Gooood girl~” He finally slowed his pace. “I knew you could do it.” He let her tit go and rubbed her head again as he gradually brought her down from her high.
Ruby was in no state to respond. All she could manage was whimpering while her body flinched randomly. Jaune’s fingers finally left her as she remained faced down on the bed.
With Ruby needing a moment, Jaune finally locked eyes with his blushing blue eyed girlfriend who diligently played with his cock. Time her weakness.
Weiss watched as he sat up, gaining the leverage he needed to grind his hips in earnest against the back of her throat. His left hand rubbed the side of her face slowly as he got rough.
“Is this what you wanted?” He asked, knowing what was in her heart. A chill ran up his spine as Weiss stuck her tongue out more. He couldn’t hold it in any longer. “Don’t waste a drop.”
He came directly in the mouth. Weiss felt her eyes water as she put her face comfortably in his lap, allowing him cum to coat her throat. The taste flooded her senses and clenched her thighs together as she felt her body succumb to the shameful desire. Weiss slowly removed herself from the beastly appendage and began coughing as she took her first breath or real air. Before she could even say a word, Jaune gave her a quick, chaste kiss.
“Good job.” He smiled genuinely.
It was insane how quickly he switched gears from treating her like a hole to pampering her. To make matters worse, he brought his thumb up to wipe her mouth sense she was unable to. Weiss could only avert her gaze.
“Last time I checked, you were supposed to unwrap your gifts before playing with them.” She huffed.
“Technically it’s not mine to unwrap.” He quipped. “Even if I did, in your case, I’m putting the cuffs on you.”
Weiss tried to hold a definite stare but not even she could believe her own false anger. Not when she still felt her core aching. Her eyes looked down at his lap to find his erection persisting.
“Do as you please then. Just…keep touching me a little longer.” She confessed, looking into his eyes again. “I want to feel like Ruby did.”
“Even if that means-”
“Yes.” She said immediately, embarrassing both of them. “I…prepared beforehand.”
Finally lucid, Ruby turned her body over to see her two lovers near the foot of the bed. “You two having fun without me?” She teased.
Weiss playfully rolled her eyes. “Oh hey, you’re alive.”
“That’s my line. You sounded like you were drowning.”
“You were screaming bloody murder.”
“Hehe, yeah...” Ruby sunk into the bed. “I might be down for the count still.”
“Nope.” Jaune said, getting up and walking over to Ruby to loosen some of the ribbon around her legs. Before pulling her more to the center of the bed. “Show Weiss just how good you felt.”
There goes that voice again, playing tricks on Ruby’s heart. The girl blushed again as she followed the order. Slowly, her legs parted to reveal strands of her arousal clingy to her thighs over pink convulsing lips. Seeing Weiss stare directly at it was more dangerous to Ruby’s mental fortitude than she realized.
Jaune looked at Weiss. “Still want your ribbons undone?”
“I’m alright.” Weiss said softly. Her legs weren’t inhibited much to begin with, and it’s not like her hands weren’t going to immediately be taken away again. She instead focused on the young woman presented in front of her. Weiss lowered her body between Ruby’s legs and trailed her tongue right up her slit.
“Please be gentle.”
“I can try, but I like your screams.” Weiss continued lapping up the mess, feeling Ruby flinch with every tongue flick.
Jaune rested Ruby’s head back onto a pillow. “Stay right here and relax. Try not to cum too soon.”
Easier said than done! Even with slow movements, Weiss’s tongue ran down every groove and remembered to show Ruby’s clit some personal attention. The reaper’s bound hands reached for Weiss’s hair and held it firmly. She needed anything to latch onto if she was going to survive.
Jaune made his way back behind Weiss after grabbing a bit of lube “Hips.” She raised them instantly, arching her back and giving him a wonderful view. Man he loved the holidays.
Weiss could feel his tip rub against her entrance repeatedly. Not as if either of them needed more preparations. That being said, Weiss had given him free reign to make a mess out of her, and with Ruby occupied, she knew he’d take advantage of it. Weiss felt her face burn up as cool lube was applied around her ass. A thumb gently rubbed it in, circling around the entrance before pressing in.
“Nngh.” Weiss focused harder on Ruby, trying to act normal as Jaune played with her butt.
Thank goodness his present was cuffs and not a plug. Weiss was still working up the nerve to express this particular interest to Ruby. She didn’t even express it to Jaune. Damn dolt messed around and stumbled upon it! Honestly it was for the best. She doubts she would’ve come clean about it otherwise. His thumb left and was replaced with the same two fingers that brought Ruby to tears.
“Uungh!” Weiss felt her hips float.
Ruby didn’t know what Weiss was going through, but it made her damn good at her job. Her tongue finally slipped in and began eating her out in earnest. “Yes! Just like that!” She could feel herself close around the girl’s tongue.
Weiss didn’t know if she had the best job or the worst. Either way, leaving was the last thing in her mind. Her body grew more impatient as Jaune continued his teasing. She was practically dripping down his cock. She had to speak for a second.
“Jaune, please!” She begged, not caring at all how she sounded. “I want it!”
“How do you want it?” He watched her ears turn red.
“Y-You know how.” She whined, her hips moving on their own. Ruby’s hands pulled her back into her warmth while Jaune’s fingers slid out. Weiss felt her body shudder when his tip slowly pressed halfway into her pussy before leaving it neglected. A firm hand gripped her ass and spread it apart, carefully opening it up with Jaune’s slick cock. Weiss could only clench her hands together as the man finally fucked her. Weiss let her thoughts fade away, focusing on devouring Ruby as her ass was used. She could feel him take it down to the base, bottoming her out like it was made to take him. Even now, her pussy squeezed for something that wasn’t there, and she couldn’t get enough.
Jaune brought both his hands to her waist. The way her ass clung to him made it impossible to keep his cool. To think she prepared herself for this only drove him wilder. If this was the gift she wanted, he was gonna give it to her. Jaune couldn’t help himself from fucking her with deep strokes that drove him crazy.
“You two are so perfect.” He gasped, getting lost in the bliss with them.
Ruby was dire straits, trapped in her own bliss thanks to Weiss’s hungry slurping. Ruby couldn’t help but feel a little jealous of how good Weiss was at oral. Just like with Jaune, she was completely at Weiss’s mercy.
Not another word was shared between the three. Only a need to satisfy their urges and express their fulfillment through countless moans. There wasn’t a stroke that didn’t make Weiss squeal, or an instant Jaune wasn’t breathlessly trying to keep himself together. Ruby could feel her toes curling the sheets in a desperate attempt to hold on just a little longer. This moment felt too brief and yet like eternity itself. Despite her best attempt, Ruby couldn’t stave off the inevitable any longer. One more trail around her clit broke her down. Ruby’s hips lifted off the bed and pushed against Weiss’s lips, giving a good taste of her handy work as another strong orgasm hit like a crashing wave.
Ruby felt her body turn rigid as stone before becoming as feeble as puddy once her body hit the mattress. Her strength was absolutely spent. Her eyes flickered rapidly as she tried to calm herself. Jaune must’ve noticed her orgasm. She could feel Weiss’s tongue pull away and hear muffled cries of delight. Blurred figures slowly became clear again and brought new speechless clarity to Ruby’s eyes.
Weiss was in utter disarray, completely lost in pleasure. Jaune had torn away the ribbons, along the girl to reach up and lock her hands behind his neck as his arms wrapped around her body. A stern hand had once again returned to her neck while the other wrapped around her torso to keep the girl on her knees as he fucked her without restraint.
“Oh wow…” Ruby couldn’t help but blush. She could see exactly how Jaune made such a mess out of their prideful Ice Queen. She was in another world, falling endlessly into euphoria as her body writhed. Ruby watched as Jaune filled her up, his cock pulsing rope after rope until it leaked down his shaft from the overflow. “Maybe I’m the vanilla in this relationship?”
Unable to stand any longer, Weiss fell forward. Ruby found it in herself to move quickly enough to lean forward and catch the girl, slowly leaning back and allowing Weiss to lay on her. Out of breath didn’t describe the state she was in. Weiss simply wasn’t here right now. Just a woman doing her best to breathe as her eyes grew heavy before shutting altogether. Ruby glanced up to see the man responsible utterly exhausted. Their gaze finally met again and she could tell by the slow internal panic in his eyes that his wits had returned.
“Ummm.” He had absolutely nothing to say. Not really much to say to get out of this situation.
Ruby pinched two fingers together and ran them over her lips like a zipper before flicking an imaginary key away.
Jaune chuckled in relief. “Merry Christmas.”
“Yeah I’m pretty sure we’re on the naughty list.” Ruby raised her hands up. “Please release me.”
Jaune looked at a dangling end and tugged it, effortlessly undoing the knot before looking at Ruby in slight judgment.
“Hey, not everyone gets post-nut clarity. I’m too tired to think.”
“I didn’t say anything.” He finally allowed himself to fall onto the bed beside them.
“You didn’t have to.” Ruby followed his lead and laid back.
“Rubes, please tell me you're too tired for sex.”
“I’m too tired for everything. Don’t worry, I am beyond satisfied.” Ruby aimlessly reached at his nightstand before finally grabbing a pack of wipes. “I see why you have these in your room now.” She tossed them his way.”
“Thank you.” He groaned.
“And she had the nerve to look at me crazily for wanting to gift wrap ourselves? You two are freakier than me.”
“Hehe, so is this new information going on the list of things you want to try?”
Ruby blushed. She didn’t know if she was ready for all that. “At least let me get used to the color first.” She covered her face. “I’ve really opened Pandora’s box, haven’t I?”
“Not really. Weiss didn’t notice you watching and I’m not about to start randomly messing your butt. I’m still doing what I always do, matching the tone.”
Ruby turned to him. “Okay, but if you were the one to set it?” She watched his face slowly turn a little pink as he pondered the question.
“Well…if you ever did get a little curious, I wouldn’t mind seeing a tail with the collar one day. You know, just every now and then.”
Even the most polite people have their fantasies. Ruby couldn’t tell if she had turned these into freaks or if it was the other way around. Regardless of the answer, she was the one who wanted assertiveness and the collar. The girl sighed at her own disappointment, feeling the same bashfulness and shame her dear girlfriend displayed in the beginning.
“Give me till Valentine’s Day.”
96 notes · View notes
rose24207 · 11 days ago
Note
Heyyy! Could i please request Lando x reader who’s drunk (i’m totally not). Just smth like she’s at home on Christmas drinking and he has to take care of her. Love your fics
Tumblr media
Mistletoe and mayhem
Summary: Lando comes home to find you tipsy on Christmas Eve, takes care of your chaotic but endearing antics, and tucks you in with a smile.
Genre: fluff, Humor
TW: wine drunk
A/N: thank you for the request! Sorry it took so long. English is not my first language. I hope you enjoy it though! Requests are open and welcome!
Masterlist
Tumblr media
The faint sound of Christmas music played in the background as Lando stepped into your shared flat. He was balancing a few bags in his hands, filled with last-minute Christmas snacks and the cheeky gift he’d picked up for you—a stuffed reindeer holding a heart-shaped candy cane.
“Babe, I’m home!” he called out, toeing off his sneakers at the door. The flat smelled faintly of cinnamon, like the candle you always burned during the holidays.
A clink of glass followed by your giggle caught his attention, and his brow furrowed as he headed toward the living room. The sight that greeted him was nothing short of chaotic Christmas cheer.
You were sprawled on the couch, wearing his oversized McLaren hoodie and festive socks with tiny bells that jingled every time you moved your feet. On the coffee table were an assortment of half-eaten gingerbread cookies and an empty bottle of red wine.
“Oh, hey, Lando!” you slurred, raising a hand like you’d just noticed him, even though he was standing a few feet away. Your eyes were glassy, and your cheeks were flushed—a telltale sign of too much wine. “Merry Chrisssstmas!”
“It’s not even Christmas yet,” he said with a chuckle, setting the bags down and walking over to you.
“Technicality,” you said, waving him off dramatically. “It’s Christmas season, and I’m celebrating!”
“You’ve been celebrating alone?” he teased, sitting beside you.
You pointed a finger at him, your expression suddenly serious. “Don’t judge me. You were gone,” you said with exaggerated sadness. “So I decided to have a lil’ party with…with…” You glanced at the empty bottle. “Cabernet Sauvignon.”
Lando stifled a laugh. “Looks like you and Cabernet got pretty cozy.”
You nodded, leaning against him. “You smell like outside,” you muttered. “It’s cold outside.”
“It is cold. But you’re warm,” he said, wrapping an arm around you. “How much have you had to drink, babe?”
“Uhh…” You squinted, holding up your hand and wiggling your fingers like you were trying to count but gave up midway. “Enough.”
Shaking his head fondly, Lando kissed the top of your head. “Alright, come on. Let’s get some water in you before you pass out on me.”
You pouted. “I’m fine. You’re ruining my vibe.”
“I’m ruining your vibe?” he repeated, laughing.
“Yes! I was having a moment. It was like…me, the wine, the twinkly lights…” You gestured at the Christmas tree, which was slightly lopsided because you insisted on decorating it without him. “It was magical.”
“Well, let’s keep the magic alive,” he said, gently guiding you to sit up. “Drink some water for me, okay?”
You grumbled but accepted the glass he handed you. “You’re bossy when you’re sober.”
“And you’re extra sassy when you’re drunk,” he shot back, his lips quirking into a grin.
As you sipped the water, you tilted your head to look at him, your expression softening. “You’re cute, though. Did you know that? Like, stupid cute. It’s annoying.”
Lando laughed, his cheeks reddening slightly. “Thanks, I guess?”
“You’re welcome.” You leaned closer, your breath warm against his neck. “You smell good, too. Like…pine trees. And…cookies?”
“I might’ve had a cookie in the car,” he admitted, chuckling.
“Rude. Didn’t save me one.”
“Babe, there’s literally an entire plate of them in front of you,” he said, gesturing to the coffee table.
“Oh, yeah.” You picked up a gingerbread man and bit its head off with dramatic flair. “He’s tasty.”
“Poor guy didn’t stand a chance,” Lando joked, shaking his head.
As the night went on, he managed to coax you into drinking more water and eating something other than cookies. By the time you started to doze off on his shoulder, your festive socks still jingling faintly, Lando couldn’t help but smile.
“Merry almost-Christmas, love,” he whispered, pulling a blanket over you.
You stirred slightly, mumbling, “Merry…whatever,” before falling back into a peaceful, wine-induced sleep.
Tumblr media
Thank you for reading!
115 notes · View notes
sweetcomicval · 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
A collection of Christmas tales featuring holiday adventures and cherished traditions shared with your husband, Jaehyun, and your four-year-old son, Teo.
Tumblr media
PAIRING: Jeong Jaehyun x fem!reader
GENRE: fluff, humor, slice of life
every part will be posted at 2 pm UTC 🫶🏼 spotify playlist 🤎
Tumblr media
🧸 COMING HOME | Dec. 1st
You and Teo start December while Jaehyun is away on tour and you both miss him more than ever.
🧸 TIS THE SEASON | Dec. 3rd
Jaehyun is finally back home, and the family begins decorating the house and tree, with a few funny mishaps along the way.
🧸 LETTERS TO SANTA | Dec. 5th
Teo’s curiosity about writing to Santa led to a trip for paper and stickers. Afterward, Teo, Jaehyun, and you all wrote heartfelt letters to Santa.
🧸 BY GOSH, BY GOLLY! | Dec. 7th
On the seventh day of Christmas, Jaehyun bought his loving dad a swiss watch, and two matching bracelets for him and his wife.
🧸 O LITTLE STAR! | Dec. 11th
You and Jaehyun help Teo prepare for his talent show, where he charms the audience with his performance, and the both of you feel incredibly proud of him.
🧸 SLEIGH RIDE | Dec. 13th
The family is excited to spend the weekend at a ski resort, enjoying the beauty of the snow and the fun of the mountain slopes.
🧸 MERRY AND BRIGHT | Dec. 15th
After the ski trip, Teo catches a cold. To cheer him up, you and Jaehyun plan a movie night featuring The Polar Express.
🧸 ARE YOU DOWN TO RIDE? | Dec. 17th
Uncle Johnny comes over for a holiday photoshoot with your family, capturing lovely moments with Teo to create cards for your relatives and friends.
🧸 LUMPS OF COAL | Dec. 19th
You and Jaehyun join Teo at his Secret Santa party at daycare. The day is filled with holiday cheer, laughter, and there’s surprise encounter with a little admirer.
🧸 JINGLE BELLS, TOFU SMELLS | Dec. 21st
You suggest a vegan Christmas to Jaehyun, who is hesitant about it. He eventually agrees and the three of you go grocery shopping.
🧸 NEO CHRISTMAS TIME | Dec. 23rd
The family goes to Taeyong’s pajama party. The three of you show up in cute matching pajamas and spend a lovely evening with your friends and their families.
🧸 GINGERBREAD | Dec. 24th
On the day before Christmas Eve, the family prepares to visit Jaehyun’s parents for a special holiday gathering.
🧸 MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS | Dec. 25th
It’s finally Christmas day and the three of you spend the day preparing dinner for Jaehyun’s special guests. However, much to Teo’s dismay, Jaehyun makes him wait until dinner to open his gifts.
Tumblr media
60 notes · View notes
ursuburbanmother · 9 months ago
Text
I’m On Fire, But I’m Trying Not to Show It || Chapter Three
Tumblr media
Pairing: Angus Tully x fem!reader
a/n: Mothers and daughters?? Fathers and sons?!?
Word Count: ~4k
Find: Part 1 Part 2 Part 4
Enjoy!
Tumblr media
December 23, 1970
You’ve been stuck in your own mind all day. It's decided to shut down like a panic room and you can see Angus try to crack it open with his attempts at small talk. Mary and Mr. Hunham share uncomfortable glances at each other, slightly humored about the quiet lunch they are having that would usually be filled by chatter from you two.
Angus leans in close to your ear, “You said we would talk today.”
“After this,” you murmur, sinking into the wooden chair.
“If this is about yesterday, it was just a weird moment, it didn’t mean anything.”
“Stop talking,” you say as nicely as you can when you see Mary's eyebrow quirk up at Angus’s comment.
“I have a surprise,” Mr. Hunham suddenly announces. Your eyes snap to him, embracing the distraction. He brings out a platter full of Christmas cookies and places them on the table. “These were a gift to me, and I would like to share them with both of you.”
Angus is unimpressed and by the way he is scowling, he's upset too. “Look at them. Look at all the festive shapes. Snowflakes and gingerbread men. A tree. A little mitten,” Mr. Hunham picks up the red and white frosted cookie and takes a bite. “Mmm,” he looks pleasantly surprised.
“Thank you, Mister. This is really nice,” You reach for the snowflake. You’re not sure how well sloppy joe and sugar will settle in your stomach but you're willing to gamble on it. Mr. Hunham gives you a thin smile.
“May I go to the bathroom, sir?” Angus asks, already pushing away his dish and getting up from his chair.
“You may,” he sighs, watching the boy walk away.
“Well, I’m trying,” he says to the group, defeated.
You give him a weak grin, “These are good cookies though. If that means anything to you.”
Mary chuckles at your exchange. Mr. Hunham gets up and goes the same direction Angus had exited. Your eyes follow him until it is impossible for you to see him without breaking your neck. You turn to Mary who is close to finishing her cigarette. She blows the smoke away from your direction and pushes the packet towards you.
“Want one?”
“Oh. No thanks. That's Angus’s thing.”
“Alright. But don’t go asking for one later.”
“I won’t,” you laugh quietly. You hear voices in the hallway get louder. Angus shouts something you can’t make out and Mr. Hunham's response follows shortly after. Their noise fades away and you rub your tired eyes to snap you awake. You never could get enough sleep. You swear you could sleep for twenty-four hours and still feel groggy.
“What's going on with you two?” Mary asks.
“Angus and I?”
“No. You and the ghost that haunts the infirmary,” she took a sip of her coffee while shaking her head in amusement.
“My mother says I'm a bit of a blabbermouth. I don’t know if you want to hear the details,” you warn.
“Give me the reader's digest,” she pats the seat next to her. Bringing your coca-cola with you, you go cross over to her side of the table. “Okay. Tell me if you think I’m crazy-”
“I will.”
“-But Angus has been acting so weird. One second, he's all moody, a regular Holden Claufield, and the next he’s nice and being the Angus I’ve known all my life. I don’t know… Maybe he’s at the stage where his feelings swing around like a pendulum.”
“That's all-teenagers sweethearts. Even at adulthood, that pendulum never stops swinging. At some point it may slow down only for a gust of wind to return it into motion.”
“I mean he’s always been a little short-tempered, just never towards me. Yesterday,” you wonder if you are getting too personal now, “he called me selfish.”
“Selfish? The girl that just scarfed down a cookie to make an old man feel better.”
You shrug. You never knew how to take compliments. “I know I should just ask him what's really going on, but I don’t want him to blow up on me again.”
“If he does come to me. I’ll whip him into shape for you.”
“Thank you,” you giggle. “What do you think happened out there?” You tilt you heard towards the doors.
“Their usual bickering. That boy is probably paying the price for cursing Hunham out right now.”
“How long have you known Mr. Hunham?”
She paused before answering, “A while now.”
“Has he always been this… strong-willed?”
“Stubborn as a mule you mean? Yes, he has. Although the years have certainly hardened him more.”
“Why’s that?"
“Not sure. He’s a private man. I haven’t been able to pry anything out of him.”
“Not even when he’s,” you make your hand into a fist, extending the pink and thumb. You move it back and forth to mimic drinking from a bottle.
Mary cackles. “Not even then.”
The stupidest thing Angus had done was what he had done to you yesterday. He doesn’t know why he said it, why he had called you selfish. It just tumbled out. It was like he was a man possessed. But launching off a springboard in the gym in an act of rebellion was a close second.
He numbed the pain thinking of you. Granted if you were here, you would be lecturing him non-stop and telling him how he should have known better. But at least you would have been here, and he wouldn’t have to watch Mr. Hunham marinate in his misery. At least you would have been there to hold his hand as they popped his arm back into its socket.
Although his mouth had gotten him in trouble the last few days, it had been helpful in getting them out of the hospital insurance issue. And it was about to get him a free burger now too.
They had arrived at the local watering hole. It was jam packed with people getting tipsy with beer. He could hear the clink of billiards and the white noise on the TV.
“I think I’ll start with a beer. How about you?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Mr. Tully. Get your cheeseburger.”
“They’ve got Miller High Life. The Champagne of Beers.”
“Oh?” Mr. Hunham said, but Angus could tell he was just trying to amuse him.
Angus shut the menu as their waitress came up the stairs to their little booth. “Okay, you ready to order? Oh!” she gasped as she turned to his teacher.
“Miss Crane,” Hunham touched his chest, “As I live and breathe. What-, what are you doing here?”
“Oh hi guys! Yeah, I always pick up a little extra work over Thanksgiving and Christmas,” Miss Crane explained.
It looked as if Mr. Hunham had been snapped awake, “Well, um, this is Mr. Tully,” he motioned his hand towards him.”
“Sure, I know you and your little girlfriend. You two are always glued together like gum on a pole,” Miss Crane said teasingly.
“Y/n L/n," he beamed, "she goes to the girl's school and we’re just friends. But um, we met outside Dr. Woodrup’s office. I was wrongly accused of blowing up a toilet,” he smiled as innocently as he could.
“I didn’t know about the wrongly part,” she shares a laugh with Hunham.
“He’ll have a cheeseburger,” he orders for Angus.
“And a Miller High Life please,” Angus adds quickly.
“Uh. No you will not,” Hunham says sternly.
“Where do you stand on Miller High Life, Miss Crane?”
“Well, like they say, it’s the Champagne of Beers.”
Angus turns to Hunham, “And she’s a professional.”
“Okay, one cheeseburger,” Miss Crane waits for him to fill the blank.
He relents and orders reluctantly, “And a Coke.”
“I’ll have a cheeseburger as well,” Hunham smiled.
“Two cheeseburgers,” she jots down the order on her notepad
“And a Jim Beam. On the rocks. Please.”
“Okay, you got it guys,” She smiles at them before exiting. Paul watches her go and Angus grins at the scene.
“Ouch. You two have chemistry,” he shakes his hand like he had touched a hot plate.
“Okay. That’s the Percodan talking,” Hunham dismisses.
“I don’t know. Seeing her like this, I think she’s pretty attractive,” he hopes his teacher will take the bait.
“Listen, you hormonal vulgarian, that woman deserves your respect, not your erotic speculation.”
Angus resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Well, may I at least go to the bathroom? Sir?”
“You mean the payphone?”
They have a stare off before he runs off to the back of the restaurant. Angus scours any leftover change in his back pocket of his jeans. He finds enough to make a call. He scans the room, making sure that Mr. Hunham isn’t hunting him down like last time. He dials the number to the Barton infirmary and hopes you are lounging in your room.
“Pick up, pick up, pick up,” he chants under his breath. Instead he gets the dial tone. He curses and slams the phone back to its original place.
You haven’t seen Angus since the morning. You've been spending all afternoon with Mary instead. You helped with the lunch dishes and are preparing the potatoes for supper later. Mary had a radio in the kitchen which you happily hummed to. Christmas music flooded your ears and reminded you of the holiday. In the halls of Barton there were no decorations, and one could probably convince a kid that the Grinch had stolen them in the dead of night.
“Mary, I'm done,” you proudly show her the bowl of potatoes. In your house most of the cooking was done by private chefs who came in and out so irregularly that you could never learn their names. Understandably, they didn’t have time to entertain a ten-year-olds insistent questions about what it meant to julienne a vegetable.
“Great. Why don’t you start boiling them and get started on chopping those mushrooms.”
“Okay,” you add water to a pot before adding the chomped potato. You find the mushrooms and cut them as thinly as you can. After you place them on the counter next to Mary who has already prepared everything else.
You admire as she adds them to a pan of melted butter. She drops salt, pepper, Italian dressing and other spices you can’t name, without even having to use measuring tools. “You’re Julia Child!” You praise.
“Just years of practice.”
“Hey, when do I get to sauté and mix things?” You get on your tiptoes to get a better look at the mushrooms turning a dark brown.
“When I know you won’t hurt yourself doing it,” she gave a pointed look at the bandaids on your fingers. You may have cut yourself in your first attempts at handling a knife. You hide the hand behind your back. “Sorry.”
You go to sit in a stool by the oven. You open a borrowed copy of a Kerouac book that Angus had in his suitcase. The Subterraneans, written in three days apparently and no offense to Jack but it shows. Mary notices your squinting as you go try to make sense of the writing, inching your face closer and closer to the paper.
“Are you planning to do something with that? The books.” Mary stops her stirring and lowers the heat of the stove. She walks over to you and glances at pages.
“What? Like with writing?” You ask, “I’m not sure. I know I should have figured it out by now but I just never got one of those woosh moments,” you sway your hands in the air.
“Woosh moment?”
“It's like what we talked about with the pendulum. I feel like I've been hanging still and waiting for the wind to send me on my way. I wait for it to push me with the strength of a tornado. Woosh. Almost to flood me with a feeling of knowing? I’m not the best at words…” you trail off.
“You're telling me nothing interests you?” She raised her eyebrow.
“No, a lot of things do. I want to do everything. Right now, for example, I feel like becoming a renowned chef,” you pick up a random bowl and start stirring it slowly.
“Try learning how to handle a knife right first,” she tuts.
“Practice makes perfect Mary,” you smile and look down into the chocolate substance you were messing with. “Cake or brownies?”
“Neither actually. It's more doughy than liquid honey,” she lectures you kindly.
“Right,” you say sheepishly, “I swear I’m smarter when it comes to other things. You should see me in civics class.”
“I believe you,” she winks, “Now get to preheating the oven, Betty Crocker.”
Angus goes off to play a game on the Pinball machine and to take his mind off you. It certainly helps him. Avoiding the prospect of getting beat up by locals and injuring another part of his body allows him to momentarily forget the stress he feels when he remembers how pissed you are at him.
Mr. Hunham and Angus eat their burgers quickly. To repay Mr. Hunham for saving his ass, Angus keeps his mouth shut every time he orders a Jim Beam. They leave after Hunham drops a rather generous tip for Miss Crane.
They're walking towards Hunhams car and Angus can’t resist the urge to ask, “Why’d you buy those guys beer? They’re assholes.”
“That’s one way to look at it. Hey. Catch,” he tosses his keys at Angus, who catches them on instinct.
“How many boys do you know who have had their hands blown off? Barton boys don’t go to Vietnam. No, they go to Yale or Dartmouth or Cornell, whether they deserve to or not."
“Except for Curtis Lamb.”
“Except for Curtis Lamb.”
“Were you ever in the military?” Angus’s curiosity peaked.
“I tried to enlist in ‘41, but was rejected,” Mr. Hunham pointed at his eye, as if to say obviously. He tries to unlock the door of the driver's side to no avail. He points towards Angus,“I have to get in through there. Anyways, they made me an air raid warden. Gave me a whistle and everything. Helmet. Arm band.”
Angus opens the door, handing the keys off as Mr. Hunham slides in. He catches a whiff of Mr. Hunham unmentioned scent.
“Before we get going, can I be candid with you?”
“Mm-hmm,”
“You smell,” he states bluntly and Mr. Hunham deflates. Angus joins him inside the Nova, “Like fish. And it’s really noticeable toward the end of the day. I even smell it on your coat. Mind if I crack the window?”
“Trimethylaminuria.”
“Huh?” Angus frowns.
“Trimethylaminuria. Means my body can’t break down trimethylamine. That’s the smell. And, uh, yes, more toward the end of the day.
“Wow. Your whole life? No wonder you’re afraid of women,” he concludes.
“I am not afraid of women,” Hunham says, clearly offended. “Jesus H. Christ.”
“I shouldn’t have said anything. Dr. Gertler says I don’t always give consideration to my audience,” Angus exhales.
“Who’s Dr. Gertler?’’
“My shrink,” Angus wants to disappear.
“Has Dr. Gertler ever tried a swift kick in the ass?”
Angus figures he ought to level the playing field. “Okay, all right, now your turn. Go ahead, tell me something about me. Something negative.”
“Something negative about you?”
“Sure. Just one thing.
“Just one?”
Angus nods and he probably should be offended that he is taking an awful long time to say anything.
“You’re obtuse about your social relationship.”
“What the hell is that supposed mean?��
“You didn’t say I had to elaborate Mr. Tully.”
“Okay well now I want you to. Spit it out.”
“No,” he backs out of his parking spot and hits the road.
“Come on! Explain,” Angus tugs on Hunhams jacket.
“I hope you don’t plan to pester me all the way to Barton. It'll be an awfully long ride.”
He presses down harder on the gas pedal.
You had burned the cookies. Not that you could tell when you took a bite of it. The cocoa had disguised it and you had just finished patting your back when you had to spit the whole thing out into the sink. Mary relishes your misery and apologizes through her laughs, wiping the tears in the corner of her eyes.
So your two-course meal had been reduced to just an entree. After thirty minutes of searching and waiting on Angus and Mr. Hunham, you ladies decided to leave the capacious mess hall and have a TV dinner. If your mother could see you now you were sure she would have you arrested by the etiquette police.
Mary was flipping through the channels to tune in to her daily rewatch of the Newlywed Game. You stopped her suddenly, your hand on top of hers to stop her from operating the remote.
“Cactus Flower! I love this movie. Please can we watch it?” You beg, clasping and shaking your hands together.
“What’s it about?” She asks hesitantly, clearly wary about abandoning her favorite program.
“You’ll love it! Ingrid Berman has to pretend to be her boss's wife because he lied to his lover about being married and having kids and shit-,”
“Language.”
“-Sorry. And so now he has to pull off this big con, so she won’t leave his lying as-, butt,” you correct yourself. “Goldie Hawn is sooo good in this. She won an Oscar I think.”
“I supposed I could give it a try. If it bores me we are switching right back though.”
“Deal,” you giggle and scoot the plate balancing on your lap closer so you can dig in.
For the next hour, Mary seems content in watching the characters in the movie ignore and miscommunicate their feelings. Even shaking her head when they do something she finds ridiculous. Your eyes get heavy as the ending nears, your stomach warm and content with the meal you had and the glare of the television tiring your vision. You lean your head back into the couch cushion and close your eyelids. Distantly you hear Ingrid Berman and Walter Matthau confess their love before your world goes dark.
Slumped against Mary, you wake up for the second time that week by the same hands. Angus is shaking your shoulder gently. Your gaze falls immediately to the sling his arm is in.
“Angus! What the hell?” You whisper- shout, fixing your posture and wiping the potential drool off your face. You check to make sure you didn’t wake up Mary.
“It's okay, it's okay,” he reassures. “It’s not broken, or anything just dislocated.”
“What happened?’’ Your arm trails down from where the sling starts to where his hand hangs lazily out. "Is this why you weren’t at dinner tonight? Hunham too?”
“Uh yeah. I jumped off a springboard in the new gym,” he answers bashfully.
“Wow… you are so stupid sometimes.”
“I prefer spontaneous thank you,” he sits down next to you on the couch and lets out a sigh. Using his good arm, he lifts a plastic bag. “We went out to eat and I got you something.”
“Ooh,” You snatch the bag and open it as quietly as you can without crinkling the plastic. Inside the Styrofoam box there's a half-eaten burger with some cold fries. You snack on it anyway offering some to Angus who shakes his head.
“Mr. Hunham thought buying another would be wasteful. He assumed you and Mary would have probably eaten by then so I saved what I could.”
“We did and,” you motion to the plates, “I helped cook it!”
“Really?” Angus's eyes widened, “I’m sorry I missed it.”
“I saved you some cookies,” You pick up the dish of the burnt dessert. You have brought them over believing you had been exaggerating the taste.
You hadn't.
He takes one, clueless, and bites almost half the cookie off. You see him wince but still he continues to chew. He chokes it down and nods, “Not bad?”
“You’re such a liar,” you shove his head lightly. “I forgot to turn on the timer.”
“Yeah I can tell,” he takes your confession as his cue to spit the rest out into a nearby napkin.
“Thanks for this though,” you take a bite of the burger, “I had forgotten what fast food tasted like.”
“Don’t tell him I let you have it. Or that you saw me in fact. The whole arm thing is supposed to be secret.”
“Got it,” you extended your pinky for him to intertwine. He takes it but doesn’t remove his pinky after, instead he lets your connected hands fall between the both of you.
The TV is still on, except the volume is lower and an old black-and-white movie is on. You finish the burger and put the trash aside to throw away in the morning.
“Where is Mr. Hunham now?”
“Crashed as soon as his head hit the pillow.”
“So you want to talk now?” You look up at him.
“Umm, somewhere private though. Incase Mary wakes up,” he gets up, still connected to you by your fingers and pulls you alongside him. You pick up a discarded blanket along with you
“Okay. Where do you want to go?”
He walks you two out of the staff common room and you let him take the lead. Barton is cold even without all the large windows closed. It’s like walking through a haunted mansion, passing by old dusty trophy cases and pictures of past alumni. When you enter what you recognize to be the auditorium, thanks to the plaque next to the door, Angus strolls you two over to the stage. You sit on the piano bench and when he joins you, you cover him with your blanket.
You hear Angus let out a shaky breath and then see the winter air turn it into a small cloud of smoke.
Angus starts to speak, a tremble in his voice, “You’re the only person who thinks of me first know? Even when we were little, and we had a free pass to be totally self-centered you still never-. Like in middle school when you’d give me biology answers, or just now with the blanket! I have a jacket! I should be giving you the entire blanket. In fact, let me give you -, your just-.”
“It’s alright Angus,” you stop his rapid rambling, holding his face between your hands. “I already forgave you a long time ago.”
“Didn’t feel like it,” he chuckles, trying to divert his gaze but the soft hold you have on him keeps him still.
“I forgave you the second you walked in looking like a kicked puppy.”
He laughs at your words.
“Although I just want to ask what has been going on with you? I know you hate school and you're not incredibly fond of Stanely marrying your mom, but I feel like something has been bothering you. Something big.”
“I need to go to Boston Y/n,” he admits, hitting some random piano keys. The notes echo around the room.
“Okay,” you bite the inside of your cheek, “why?”
“It's snowing outside but it doesn’t feel like Christmas. But my dad, he would make it feel that way. So I need to see him and my mom had promised but you see how that turned out.”
“Oh Angus. This is why you kept bringing it up,” you gasp. “Jesus. And I had called you stupid, I’m the dense one for not connecting the dots.”
“No no. You’re not. I was being evasive. I guess I didn’t want you to worry.”
“I would have stolen Jason Smith's car keys had I known! We could be there by now, eating Clam Chowder by the bay. ”
“Nuh-uh. You’re way too of a goody-two shoe for that.”
“Well I would have followed you. Given an hour's notice, of course, to build my confidence.”
“I don't know,” Angus hits a few more keys, “Maybe this was fate like you said. It definitely didn’t deal me a cruel hand having me holdover here with you.”
“Yeah, the universe was certainly on our side for this one,” you move closer to him and put your head on his shoulder. “Hey, you think you can still play even with only one working hand?”
“I’m willing to try it,” he stretches his fingers, “What shall I serenade you with?”
“Something Beach Boys. In My Room?”
“You got it L/n.”
He plays much slower and his jaw is sharp, fully determined to get through the song for your enjoyment. He plays so gracefully you don’t even notice when he slips on occasion. You don’t mind it. It’s almost as sweet as a lullaby.
Tumblr media
148 notes · View notes
otherone12 · 14 days ago
Text
Merry Christmas, Guys!
MCR x Reader
-> Masterlist
Tumblr media
A/N: Hey! Merry christmas, everyone! I suppoused to post this december 24th... but there was a blackout in my neighborhood and I didn't have internet… so, here it is! Hope u like it!
Summary: Some of my head cannons of Christmas stuff...
- Warnings: Really cliché
- Ps: I'll not use y/n…
- Ps2: I'm brazilian, so english is not my first language... sorry if i wrote something wrong.
___________________________________________
-> Gerard
- You both decide to make gingerbread houses, but despite your best efforts to make them look Pinterest-perfect, they end up being a bit more "creative" than expected. There’s icing everywhere, and the candy decorations seem to defy any sense of order, but you both end up laughing at the masterpiece you’ve created;
- Of course you will cuddle and watch "Nightmare Before Christmas", You cozy up on the couch with a blanket and steal kisses in between your favorite songs, laughing when you both get the lyrics wrong;
- If you’re hosting the Christmas dinner at your house, he’ll help set the table, making sure everything’s in place, and then pitch in to cook something simple yet delicious—maybe even letting you take the lead, but staying close to help whenever you need it;
- You both sit together, painting Christmas balls before placing them on the tree. Each ornament is covered in little snowflakes, reindeer, gifts, and all sorts of whimsical designs. You have fun being creative, and it’s the perfect way to make the tree even more you.
- You will make garlands and have long debates about where to place each element of it;
- You both can’t wait until Christmas Eve to exchange gifts. The excitement is too much, so you agree to open your presents early. You both give each other thoughtful, sometimes funny gifts;
- On Christmas Eve, he’ll convince you to stay in bed until midday. Wrapped up in blankets and holding each other close, he’ll tell you you’re his “Christmas gift,” making you smile at how sweet and cheesy he’s being. But you don’t mind one bit, especially when you're together;
- He’ll look at you with a teasing grin, saying, “You look pretty even in this awful sweater,” as you both wear your ridiculous holiday-themed outfits;
- After the Christmas dinner, he sets up a cozy spot by the fireplace where you both just talk and enjoy the warmth;
- He’ll take you ice skating even though neither of you are great at it, and you end up holding hands to avoid falling over.
___________________________________________
-> Frank
-He'll casually walk around with mistletoe in his pocket, waiting for the perfect moment. When he holds it between you, he'll smirk and say, “Hey… I didn’t make the rules,” before stealing a kiss, acting like it’s the most natural thing in the world;
- He will probablly prank you with a fake terrible gift before give you the real one;
- You’ll settle in with hot chocolate, blankets, and maybe a couple of cookies as you watch "Home Alone". He’ll quote the lines with you, laughing at the same jokes every time, and getting cozy as you both enjoy the movie.
- He won’t be able to wait until Christmas Eve to open gifts. If you even try to hold out, he’ll beg and plead, giving you puppy-dog eyes until you finally cave and let him open them early. He’ll be so excited, it’s impossible to resist;
- You’ll decide to bake something together, but it’ll end up going hilariously wrong (maybe the cookies burn or the cake falls apart). Despite the mess, he’ll laugh it off, saying it’s part of the fun, and you’ll both end up eating your imperfect creations anyway.
- Get ready for some cheesy holiday humor! He’ll tell the corniest Christmas jokes like, “What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph,” and you’ll roll your eyes, but secretly, you’ll be laughing because his bad jokes are part of his charm;
- He’ll spend way too long messing with the Christmas lights—maybe they won’t work, or they’ll keep short-circuiting. But when they finally light up perfectly, he’ll stand back with a proud grin, like he just won an Olympic gold medal, and say, “Told you I could do it.”;
- He’ll surprise you with a last-minute Christmas date, where you both drive around to see Christmas lights, eating candy canes and hot chocolate, talking and laughing;
___________________________________________
-> Ray
- You’ll spend the day watching a marathon of cheesy Christmas movies, laughing at all the overly dramatic scenes and predictable plot twists. You both make fun of the corny moments, quoting lines and sharing playful jabs, but secretly, you both enjoy every second of it;
- Ray takes charge of cooking the Christmas dinner, but you insist on helping. Despite your best intentions, he’s the one doing most of the work, guiding you through each step. He laughs and reassures you that you're the “taste tester” for his creations, giving you playful kisses whenever you offer a critique;
- You will dance together to old Christmas Songs, not like serious dance, but having fun while he spin you around the living room and stole kisses;
- He’s the type to get you a really thoughtful, sentimental gift that might be something that reminds you of a memory you shared together, like a framed photo of your first holiday together.
- Ray creates a personalized Advent calendar for you, giving you small, meaningful gifts every day throughout December. It could be a necklace, a book you’ve been eyeing, or even a tube of your favorite lipstick. Each gift is carefully chosen, with a note attached, making you feel loved every single day;
- Ray is the type of person who insists on giving you a “Christmas morning breakfast,” which usually consists of pancakes, waffles, bacon, and eggs—and he’ll serve it in bed while you both relax.
___________________________________________
-> Mikey
- Mikey surprises you with a Christmas card, and as you read the message, you can’t help but laugh. It’s a perfect blend of humor and sentimentality, somehow making you feel incredibly loved while still getting a good chuckle;
- You and Mikey head to the ice rink for a fun day of skating. But what starts as a casual activity quickly turns into a competition to see who can fall the least. Mikey, with his trademark coolness, insists that slipping isn’t a big deal, even when he takes a small tumble, and you both end up laughing so hard you can hardly keep your balance;
- Mikey takes over the kitchen to bake you a batch of gingerbread cookies. They might not win any baking awards (some are a little too crispy or misshapen) but Mikey’s proud, and he looks at you with a grin, saying, “Hey, they’re homemade, that’s what counts.” The thought and effort make them taste all the sweeter;
- He’ll sneak up on you during Christmas morning, offering you a cup of hot cocoa and a sweet smile before you even open your presents.
- He will make you a personalized Christmas playlist filled with songs that remind him of you, including some rare tracks he thinks you’d love;
- He will probably get sentimental about Christmas, often recalling funny stories about past holidays, making you both laugh and get lost in the warm memories.
- You both will end up having snowball wars during the Christmas season. It starts out lighthearted, but soon, you’re both throwing snowballs with serious determination, laughing and dodging as the snow piles up around you;
___________________________________________
- So, that's it! Hope u liked! <3
- Tag List: @bossiestbitch @mimilovesnumetal
39 notes · View notes
damiannasworld · 1 year ago
Text
Seiska strikes again. 🤣
Käärijä's Onlyfans calendar makes you stunned - BDSM content, humiliation and licking
Käärijä calendar is clearly made with a sense of humor.
Käärijä has, among other things, rolled gingerbread dough on the bare buttocks of Häärijä wearing a thong, touched his nipples with a tongue and given Häärijä a whip on the butt with a rope. Some of the videos resemble soft BDSM content, i.e. the spectrum of sadomasochistic sex.
The two have also shown off their biceps in publications and performed gymnastic moves. In one of the Christmas calendars Santa brought big packages to Käärijä while Häärijä only got one small gift.
85 notes · View notes
lilacliquors · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
pairing: billy butcher x reader
word count: 1166
notes: on the twelfth day of ficmas, lilacliquors gave to me ... billy butcher learning the true meaning of christmas!
and this is the final day of ficmas!! i said it the other day, but thank you so much for participating in our very successful 12 days of ficmas, and for enjoying the little one shots.
the full masterlist will be queued up for christmas day as a little gift to you, and then i'll go back to posting the stuff in my inbox / some other things in the coming days! have a happy holiday if you celebrate, and a very happy new year <3
Tumblr media
if anyone was a pre-roast beast carving grinch, it was billy butcher. he was never one to get into the holiday spirit, claiming he had nothing to celebrate. nothing you did could help change his mind, he was so set in his ways. you, on the other hand, loved the holidays. they filled you with a kind of joy that only came around once a year. it had always been a big holiday with your family, and you carried on a lot of the traditions you all had. 
you had your three types of cookies to bake: almond crescent, peppermint pinwheels, and gingerbread men. you started playing christmas music on black friday, queueing up your favorites right away and changing the radio station on the weekends to the one you knew would be playing nonstop holiday tunes. you had your whole apartment decorated just days after thanksgiving, and it looked perfect every time. so perfect, in fact, that billy couldn’t help but be in awe when he came by to visit you.
he knew you loved the holidays, he just couldn’t understand why. to him, it was just any other time of year, just much colder and far more annoying when you had random people ringing bells and collecting for sham charities. it was a load of bullshit to him, but rather than dim your light, he kept his mouth shut when he was with you. today was going to be a little harder, though, because he was joining you on a little shopping trip.
“why are we doing this again?” he asked, watching as you wrapped your scarf around your neck.
“because i picked a few names from an angel tree, and we’re going to give those kids a merry christmas. come on, this is the fun part,” you said.
“angel tree? the fuck is that?” he held the door open for you, and you both ventured out into the cold.
“okay, so, it’s a tree that has the names, ages, and christmas wishes of children from families that might not have the means to celebrate christmas. so, you pick a name, or a few, from the tree, and you fulfill their christmas wish! i think it’s a really great cause, i do it every year,” you explained, walking beside him down the sidewalk. billy said nothing, but just simply shrugged his shoulders. sounded like a load of shit to him, but you were excited for it, so what was the harm in humoring you?
you made it to the department store, and once inside, you pulled out the tags of the children whose names you picked. to billy’s surprise, you had around five tags in your hands, and he guided you to the side as you read them out.
“okay, i picked ones who asked for clothes, but not as many toys. they’ve got the sizes listed, so this will be a piece of cake. come on!” you tucked the tags away, took billy’s hand, and started making your way to the children’s section of the floor. 
“i thought kids wanted all them fuckin’ noisy pieces of junk. why’d you pick clothes?” he asked, watching as you thumbed through the wracks of clothes.
“clothes tend to be more expensive, and not as many people feel inclined to pick them. they think toys are easier, and that all kids want toys, no matter what. but sometimes, all these boys and girls want is a new winter coat, since theirs is two sizes two small. or warm pajamas, or new sneakers because their feet are too big. they don’t ask for much, they know they can’t. so why deny them this in favor of some plastic?”
billy fell silent as he watched you hold up a coat. it was purple with a soft lavender lining, a hood on the back, and pockets that zipped shut. it looked warm, cozy, perfect for a little girl. you set it over your arm and went back to looking, and billy held out his hand.
“here, let me hold the tags. i’ll read them out to you,” he said, and you smiled.
“thanks. here you go.” you handed him the tags, and he read them over himself. just like you had described, four out of the five asked for winter jackets. one asked for a sweater, another for new winter boots. he glanced up at you, and you now had a few more coats in your arms, and you looked over to confirm you had the right sizes.
“all right, you think these will do?” you asked, holding up your haul.
“i think they’re perfect. let’s go find that sweater, and those boots.”
you walked along together, and with him beside you this time, you looked through the children’s sweaters. this one was for a little girl, age six, and nothing was really speaking to you. but then, to your surprise, billy held up a light blue sweater with beautifully knitted snowflakes on it.
“what do you think of this one?” he asked, angling it so you could see better.
“i think it’s perfect, but check the size.”
“already did. it’ll fit her, promise.”
you smiled, then gave him a thumbs up. he smiled a bit, then draped it over his arm before you went on to find the rest of the items on the tags. soon, both his and your arms were full of other clothes, the coats, and one teddy bear that billy picked out for a little boy. you made it to the register, and together, you split the cost of everything. once it was bagged and you were on your way, billy wrapped his arm around your shoulders and tucked you close to his side.
“you’re a good one, you know that?” he asked as you walked.
“so are you,” you replied.
“nah, not me. always been a heartless bastard.”
“a heartless bastard wouldn’t have found that teddy bear. or that sweater. give yourself some credit here, butcher. you’re gonna help make this christmas the best one some of these kids have ever had. it’s the most wonderful time of the year, after all. season of giving and all that,” you said, nudging him gently. he glanced down at the bags between you, then shrugged again and offered a small smile.
“yeah, maybe it is. but that one woman in the toy aisle was a right cunt. did you see the look she was givin’ me?” he asked, and you laughed.
“oh my god, of course i did! it was like she’d never seen a grown man with a teddy bear before. he was a cutie, by the way.”
“mh, cute little fucker. guess that’s what this is all about, eh? making other people happy?” 
“that’s how i’ve always seen it.”
“then … as long as i get to make you happy, i can give this holiday shit a try. starting next year.”
a whole 365 days away? you smiled. after all, it was a start.
Tumblr media
64 notes · View notes
jumpywhumpywriter · 15 days ago
Text
Christmas with the snarky, morally gray anti-hero notoriously known as Shadow!
Warnings: none
I know a LOT of people take the days near Christmas off from writing or doing anything, but I literally have zero friends in real life to hang out with for the holiday or do fun stuff with so I just decided to write instead 😭 (wallowing in self-pity because I'm such a dislikable weirdo I guess LOL-- on the sorta bright side at least I'm making new friends on Tumblr?? Even though most of them are anons at least I kind of feel appreciated I suppose--)
This is a short story about Shadow learning about the human holiday called "Christmas" -- and getting an unexpected surprise in the process.
Shadow glided down and elegantly landed in front of the lab's front doors, shaking snow from her wings. She’d originally wanted to go on a short flight around the city to stretch her wings, but it was snowing so hard it was hard to see anything, and she didn’t want to accidentally crash. There had to be at least four inches of it already piled up on the ground.
Shadow walked into the main room of the lab and was hit with a blast of bright colors. She halted and stared dumbly, trying to process all the colorful lights draped around and a... literal tree in the corner? Who cuts down a whole tree just to stuff it indoors?!?
And in front of the tree was Thomas, hanging little round balls on the evergreen branches.
Shadow quietly approached from behind, head tilted to the side in confusion as she watched the human work, tying strings to decorations to the branches. She curiously reached out and flicked an ornament experimentally with a finger, making a quiet clink sound.
"What in the entire universe are you up to, Thomas?" She asked warily. It looked like a unicorn had puked random decorations all over the place in a general theme of red and greens.
"ACK!" Thomas jumped in surprise, instantly dropping the ornament he'd been fiddling with as he startled.
Shadow snatched it in a hand before it could hit the floor, raising a questioning eyebrow at it. "Why are you putting these things everywhere?"
Thomas's face turned red with embarrassment. "Can you NOT sneak up on me like that?!?" He squeaked. "You're like a literal ghost -- you're everywhere!"
"I'm not sure whether to be offended or complimented by that statement." Shadow wrinkled her nose, carelessly tossing the ornament in the box with the others Thomas had been taking out. "Mind explaining why it looks like a hurricane of colors tore through this place?"
"It's uh, a human holiday." Thomas rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "You decorate trees and houses and cookies and eat a ton of sugar and stuff. And some people host large gatherings and prepare giant feasts. There's also making gingerbread houses."
"And why must you bring a tree indoors to decorate it?"
"Not everyone does it, in fact a lot more people go and put lights on the trees in their yard -- but it's a human tradition to cut down an evergreen to light up a room. And then we put these cool things on it--" Thomas bent down and grabbed an ornament from his box, shoving it eagerly into Shadow's hands. "Go ahead and try it! It's fun."
"I think your definition of 'fun' is vastly different from my own," Shadow grumbled. But she humored him and hesitantly hung the ornament's string on the tree, adding to the dazzling sparkle. It was kind of pretty, she had to admit. But she'd never say it out loud.
"Oh! And there's one more part of the tradition, it's the most important one--" Thomas darted off and returned holding a small yet colorful box with a fancy bow on top. "Humans buy awesome gifts to give to each other! So here's to your first human Christmas!" He held it out, and Shadow cautiously took it with a puzzled frown.
"I don't know whether to be relieved or disappointed that it's so small," she said gruffly.
Thomas rolled his eyes with a chipper laugh. "Lighten up, Shadow. Just open it!"
Shadow raised a skeptical eyebrow at the gift. "If this is one of those pop-up-scare things I've heard so much about, I'm going to seriously kill someone," she growled.
Thomas paled, reaching to take it back. "Sheesh, I didn’t realize you were so sensitive! Fine, I'll keep it!"
"Ah-ah!" Shadow raised the box above Thomas's head where he couldn't grab it, holding it just out of reach. "No taking it back. You gave me something, and you'll live with the consequences of your choices like a responsible kid."
"I'm 19 years old," Thomas scowled pointedly.
"And I'm 312 years old. Your point?" Shadow rolled her eyes dramatically, bringing the box back down so she could open it.
Thomas made another determined grab for it, but Shadow spun and swatted him like a fly with one of her white feathered wings, using it as a shield to block and keep him from snatching it.
"Shadow, come on, cut it out!" Thomas snapped, trying to reach over her wing instead -- with no luck.
"You first," Shadow growled back. She found it amusing how fast the human was trying to backpedal his gift after her threat -- which meant it was definitely one of those pop-up-scare things. Her threat had been a bluff, of course -- she wasn't actually going to kill anyone over a Christmas gift -- but Thomas wouldn't assume that, considering how morally-gray she was in general. He fully believed it to be a real possibility, which was perfectly in line with her past actions.
And Shadow couldn't help having some harmless fun with him, watching him sputter and panic uselessly in terror, believing her every word like the idiot he was. Well, mostly harmless fun -- the human might suffer an actual heart attack with how much adrenaline was rushing through him right now.
"Hmm, interesting," Shadow chuckled as she shook the box lightly, listening to the contents rattling around. She barely bit back a cruelly delighted laugh as she watched Thomas turn a few shades paler. The human was right, Christmas was fun.
"Whatever did you get me, human?" She purred teasingly. It was all a game to her -- but not for poor Thomas, whose heart was practically jack-knifing out of his chest. After all, Shadow was known to be violent and aggressive at times -- he had no way of telling she was in a relatively good mood today.
Shadow slowly untied the bow, taking her sweet time and using her wing to keep Thomas at bay. She held the lid on tight to keep it from springing open on her as she let the ribbon fall to the floor.
A mischievous smirk twisted her lips, and in a swift movement she aimed the top of the box at Thomas and let go of the lid.
Her intuition was right: it was one of those pop-up-scare-things. A coiled up plastic snake came shooting out of the box and smacked the human straight in the face, startling him.
Thomas yelped in surprise and flinched backward hard enough to trip and end up sprawled on the floor, a cartoonishly shocked expression on his face.
Shadow burst out laughing. She rarely ever laughed, unless it was sarcastic. But this was a genuine laugh for once, at his expense. Her wings shook with the force of it as she cackled evilly, clutching her ribs. "Oh, I think I DO like your gift!" She laughed between breaths. "That was priceless.”
"That was mean," Thomas sputtered indignantly, face flushing red with embarrassment.
"No meaner than trying to jump-scare the most lethal person in existence!" Shadow retorted, still laughing her head off. "You humans have the weirdest holidays!”
Thomas smiled sheepishly as he got back to his feet. “It’s a time of happiness and family gatherings. There’s nothing weird about that.”
“It's probably not weird to you because you live in the ‘world of weird’ on a daily basis – this stuff is normal for you,” Shadow chuckled. “I’ll admit though, you’ve piqued my curiosity. What else do you humans do to celebrate Christmas?”
“Oooooh you’re really going to like this one!” Thomas chirped. “Let's go outside!”
Shadow raised an eyebrow, but followed him to the front of the lab, watching as he bundled up in warm jackets and donned a hat and gloves. She didn’t bother copying him; she was naturally extra hot-blooded due to being a Falkry. The cold didn’t get to her as bad.
Soon the two of them were walking down the street to the local park, snow crunching underfoot. It was cold enough that their breath came out in foggy puffs.
“Okay, so have you ever heard of making snow angels?” Thomas turned to his white-winged Falkry friend excitedly.
“Ah, the age-old tradition of getting frostbite. I’m familiar,” Shadow answered sarcastically. “But I think I’ll sit this one out. Don’t want to damage my feathers.”
“Pfft, buzzkill,” Thomas snickered. “Then try this instead–” He bent down and suddenl;y scoffed up a handful of snow, flinging it at Shadow.
“Hey!” Shadow nimbly sprung out of range. “Oh, you will pay for that!”
Thomas blinked, and she was gone. “What the–Oomph!" His voice choked off when he was suddenly flattened beneath a massive wave of freezing snow that crashed down on him from above. He quickly scrambled out of the aftermath and shook the frozen flakes from his hair, dancing a little as he tried to reach the stuff that had fallen down the back of his shirt. "Ack! Cold! Very cold!"
Once he had finally rid himself from the last of it, he looked up in confusion to see where it had come from, and spotted Shadow perched on a bobbing tree limb directly above him, laughing hysterically. The limb was devoid of any snow, and it was clear that she had intentionally jumped on the branch to knock the snow down on him.
"Seriously?" Thomas huffed, scowling up at her. "Was that really necessary?"
Shadow raised her hands innocently, still laughing. "Sorry, sorry, I just had to. You make yourself such an easy target. I couldn't resist. You should've seen your face!"
Thomas wordlessly bent down and scooped up a large handful of snow, packing it tightly together.
"Wait, what are you—?!" Shadow’s voice cut off sharply as he chucked the newly made snowball up at her with all his strength, and she yelped in surprise as it clocked her in the face with a pfff sound, knocking her out of the tree. Her wings flailed wildly for a moment until they caught the air, halting her descent.
"What was that?!" She shouted from above with a shocked expression on her face, hovering in the air and sputtering from the snow that had gotten in her mouth.
"It's called a snowball. We humans use it to start snowball fights," Thomas called back.
"Snowball fights? So it's like... a non-lethal war with packed snow?" Shadow asked.
"Basically. But emphasis on non-lethal!!" Thomas leaned down and scooped up two more handfuls of snow and launched another round at her, which narrowly missed her face again as she smartly dodged to the side.
"Oh, it is so on human! Prepare to be destroyed!" Shadow let out a war cry and swooped down towards him, sharply pulling up at the last second so that her wings flung up a powerful gust of snow that covered Thomas head to toe. But he was not so easily beaten, and he revealed a hidden snowball he was hiding behind his back. Shadow was close enough that there was no way he could miss.
Her eyes widened for a moment in realization before the snowball hit her square in the chest, making her stumble back. It was all the opening Thomas needed to launch a barrage of snowballs at her, his arms becoming a blur as he threw one after the other, madly scooping handfuls from the ground, not allowing a moment's reprieve. Shadow used one of her wings as a shield against the attack, ducking her head behind it as she scooped up a snowball of her own.
Then, she moved her wing aside and threw her handful at Thomas as hard as she could with Falkry strength. It hit him in the stomach hard enough to knock him back into another pile of fluffy snow. She wound up for a second throw as he scrambled to his feet, and let it fly, this time smacking him square in the face in an explosion of white fluff.
Yeah, maybe Shadow was enjoying this whole ‘Christmas’ thing after all.
Main Masterlist
Masterlist featuring Shadow and Thomas-related stories
@scoundrelwithboba @lumpofsand @isikedmyself878 @iamheretohurt @fleur-a-whump
@ay5ksal @otterfrost @sausages-things @togzy
@whump-till-ya-jump @cravesunconditionallove @whumpwritinglover222
9 notes · View notes
yes-i-write-fanfiction · 7 months ago
Note
How do the TFP Human Daemons celebrate Christmas?
-Optimus' daemon decides that the holiday is a perfect opportunity to do some team bonding and for the team to relax. Sure, it's an alien holiday that doesn't really have any meaning to them but she's heard the kids talk about it, how it brings people together. The war weighs heavy on everyone and she wants them to forget it, even if just for a short moment.
Asking the kids, June and agent Fowler for help, she decorates the base. Some string lights, an inflatable Santa, a plastic Christmas tree. Optimus helps her prepare everything, agreeing that their team deserves something nice. More focused on creating a comfortable, cheery atmosphere than anything.
-Ratchet's daemon has no interest in celebrating Christmas. It means nothing to them, there are no fond memories or traditions they feel compelled to follow. The truth is that the holiday only serves to remind both her and Ratchet that they are so far away from home. But if Optimus' daemon wants to throw them a party (because that's basically what it is) then she will play along. Just don't expect this holiday to take priority over her work. Ends up getting really drunk after the kids go home and watching shitty Christmas movies with Ratchet.
-Bumblebee's daemon is so excited for Christmas. She's heard so much about it and Raf have told them so many stories that they can't wait to experience it for themselves. Helps Optimus' daemon prepare while also proclaiming herself the base's Santa. Meaning she's got to get everyone a gift! They... might have bitten off more than they can chew there. Ends up high key stressed out about what to get for everyone and Bumblebee has to drive them around Jasper to get everything. Sucks at wrapping presents but is so proud of their work that no one has the heart to say anything.
-Bulkhead's daemon is down to celebrate the holiday. It's good for people to relax and remember to be, well, people again. Blares Christmas songs on Bulkhead's radio and hums them while she goes about her day. Makes a gingerbread house together with Arcee's daemon and the kids. The house ends up looking more like a heavily fortified fortress rather than a cute cottage but it looks rad as fuck so no one is complaining. Buys alcohol that she'll share with the rest of the team once the children have gone home.
-Arcee's daemon thinks it's a nice change of pace and decides to humor everyone by wearing the ugliest Christmas sweater known to man. Makes gingerbread men to go together with the gingerbread house and makes it look like they are fighting a war. One of the gingerbread men is having its leg amputated by a gingerbread medic. Can be seen munching on candy canes at any given moment.
24 notes · View notes
noisycowboyglitter · 5 months ago
Text
"Everything Fine" Funny Christmas Gingerbread: A Unique Holiday Tradition
Everything's Fine: A Gingerbread Crisis
Who says gingerbread men are always cheerful? Our "Everything's Fine" gingerbread collection flips the script on the classic holiday treat. With a mischievous grin and a hint of panic, our gingerbread characters perfectly capture the chaotic spirit of the holiday season.
Tumblr media
Buy now:19.95$
Imagine a gingerbread man clutching his head in despair, surrounded by a crumbling gingerbread house. Or perhaps a gingerbread woman with a "Keep Calm and Eat Gingerbread" apron, trying to maintain composure amidst the sugar-induced frenzy. These designs are the perfect blend of humor and holiday charm.
Whether you're a fan of dark humor or simply looking for a unique and quirky Christmas gift, our "Everything's Fine" gingerbread collection is sure to delight. Share the laughter with friends and family as you embrace the absurdity of the holidays.
Tumblr media
Buy now
So, the next time you're feeling overwhelmed by the holiday hustle and bustle, remember our gingerbread friends and know that you're not alone. After all, "everything's fine" is just a matter of perspective!
Cute Christmas Gifts: Spread Joy and Warmth
Looking to spread some extra cheer this Christmas? Cute gifts are the perfect way to brighten someone’s day. Whether you're shopping for a friend, family member, or a special someone, there's a delightful option out there.  
Tumblr media
Buy now
From adorable plush toys and cuddly blankets to charming home decor and whimsical accessories, the possibilities are endless. Consider personalized gifts like custom mugs, jewelry, or photo albums to add a touch of heartfelt sentiment. For the sweet tooth, indulge in chocolates, candies, or baked goods adorned with festive designs.
Don't forget about the power of small gestures. Cute stocking stuffers can be just as meaningful as larger presents. Think about mini-sized skincare products, fun stationery, or quirky gadgets.
Tumblr media
Buy now
Remember, the key to a perfect cute gift is to choose something that reflects the recipient’s personality and brings a smile to their face. Let your imagination run wild and create lasting memories with your adorable gift choices.
Spread the joy with cute and cuddly Christmas gifts!
0 notes
baronessblixen · 1 year ago
Text
O Holy No (1/10)
Using the last ten prompts from the 24 Days of the X-Mas Files Challenge to write a multi-chapter fic with angst, humor, and fluff in an alternate season 7.
Today's prompt is: sexy santa costume
Summary: It's Christmas time and Mulder and Scully are getting closer - or are they? And as a special gift for the season, Diana is around to wreak havoc, too. Only one thing is certain: it's going to be a Christmas to remember.
(Chapter one, wc: 1,103)
Tagging @today-in-fic
Four days til Christmas Eve and Scully feels giddy with excitement from head to toe. They closed their latest case, neither of them got injured or sick, and there’s nothing else to do until after the holidays. A rare moment in time and one she appreciates.
Mulder promised her that this year, he’d not even check any internet forums, and wouldn’t pick up the phone if anyone were to call him with a lead. She hasn’t asked him what he’s doing for Christmas yet this year and knows that if she invited him to her family Christmas, he’d decline. It's the same every year.
And this Christmas, she wouldn't just invite him to her mother's house. This time, they're celebrating in San Diego. If he were to come with her, it would mean more. And she’s not sure they’re ready for that particular more yet. As much as she wants to be. She’s caught herself daydreaming about catching Mulder under the mistletoe and fulfilling a fantasy she’s had for years.
Kissing him.
They’re getting closer. It’s as much in the air as the scent of fresh pine and gingerbread. Her heart pitter-pattered when Mulder asked her if she was busy after they got home. Said he wanted to exchange Christmas presents before she left for San Diego. She said yes. They’re not even pretending they didn't get each other anything for Christmas this time like they did last year. This year they’re unabashedly honest. At least about the fact that they got each other gifts. She’s been carrying one of his gifts with her for a while. It’s nothing special, just something she thought funny, and that she hopes he’ll appreciate.
“After exchanging gifts,” Mulder says, fetching his keys from his coat pocket and glancing at her. “Would you like to stay and watch a movie?” The way he blushes makes her smile. They’ve known each other for seven years, and they’ve spent countless hours together, and yet, he blushes asking her this.
“I’d like that,” she replies with a soft smile. Mulder unlocks his door with his eyes still fixated on her face. He’s grinning from ear to ear and Scully has to stop herself from not just skipping a few steps and jumping his bones. She’s the rational one here, after all.
“I think I know what- what the fuck.”
Scully doesn’t register right away what made Mulder stop dead in his tracks as she’s about to take off her coat. She stops with her arms mid-air when she sees what Mulder is seeing too. There, in front of his desk, surrounded by soft glowing Christmas lights, stands Diana. Wearing a tiny Santa costume, a smile, and not much else.
“There you are,” she says sounding chipper. There’s not a hint of discomfort on her face or in her behavior. She glances at Scully and blinks, but then her attention is back on Mulder. “You should have called and said you’d be late.” She throws herself at him and he catches her – much to Scully’s chagrin.
“Did you drive Fox home?” Diana asks Scully with raised eyebrows. Up close, she can get a good look at the other woman. Who isn’t at all shy, despite Scully’s presence. As if, as Mulder’s partner, she was of no consequence to Diana. The other woman is waiting for her to say something. But what? Scully’s mouth is dry. She fears that if she does open her mouth, she will be sick.
What she knows for sure is that this sight will haunt her for years to come. Diana’s dress clings to her, revealing every curve the woman has. Except where the dress ends mid-thigh. Scully wishes she could close her eyes, cover her ears, and run out of here. Her heart tightens, and so does her throat, when she realizes what this means.
The way Diana is acting, the way she’s not as all taken aback, she knew when Mulder was coming home. Meaning he must have told her. Which also means he knew she would be here. Diana is still hanging from his neck, and while Mulder looks pale and surprised, Scully doesn’t think it’s because of Diana. It’s because he forgot she was here and he invited her in. She was never supposed to see this, or know about this.
Her fantasy crumbles like a dry piece of cake. There’s not going to be a kiss under the mistletoe for her and Mulder. There’s not going to be a shift in their relationship. All these little moments she’s accumulated over the months amount to nothing. His touches weren’t lingering, his smiles weren’t brighter. Or if they were, it was because of Diana. Knowing she was waiting for him at home. Knowing he had someone to come home to. Who knew Mulder would get out of the car before she did – and with someone else, too.
“I’m just- I’m gonna go,” she says, falling over her words as much as her feet.
“Good idea,” Diana says sweetly. There’s bloody red lipstick on her teeth when she gives Scully a devilish smile. All the fight has gone out of Scully and she finds herself walking backward towards the door.
“Scully, wait,” Mulder says, shaking a clingy Diana off, who pouts at him. For a moment, though, his full attention is on Scully. There’s a haunted look in his eyes and he’s pleading with his words, and his gestures, but Scully barely hears him. She backs away, needing the distance between them.
“This is not what it looks like,” he says.
“Don’t lie to her, Fox.”
“I’m not lying.” His voice is menacing when he turns back around, addressing Diana. “I don’t even know how you got in here.”
“You gave me your key last time, remember?” It’s that last blow. Her words feel like a slap and Scully gasps. Tears sting her eyes, and she knows that if she doesn’t leave right away, she will break down in front of Diana, and she refuses to give the other woman that satisfaction.
“I’m leaving,” she says so quietly she’s not sure either Diana or Mulder hear. And if she’s honest, she doesn’t even care. She needs to get away and lick her wounds. Alone.
“Scully, please.” But she just keeps going, the clack of her heels her only companion because Mulder isn’t running after her. She keeps the tears at bay until she’s in a cab on her way back home.
How could she have read these last few months so wrong?
And when, she can’t help but wonder, did Mulder and Diana start dating?
61 notes · View notes
mariacallous · 1 month ago
Text
To celebrate Hanukkah and Christmas, Max and Sophie, siblings in an interfaith family, bake up a batch of gingerbread dreidels.
That’s the plot of a new children’s book out this year, but it could be a real-life occurrence this month, when the first night of Hanukkah falls on Christmas Day. Among the children’s books released ahead of the holidays are several that nod to the unusual calendar convergence and the increasing share of families that include both Jews and people who are not Jewish.
Other notable new Hanukkah children’s books include one about a unique menorah used at the White House; a compendium of stories and essays for older kids; and picture books featuring a bear, a puppy and a dragon.
Here’s a rundown of the new books on the Hanukkah market in 2024.
“Gingerbread Dreidels” Jane Breskin Zalben; illustrated by Thai My PhuongCharlesbridge; ages 4-7
In Jane Zalben’s new book, Max and Sophie are excited for the start of Hanukkah and Christmas Eve, which both begin the next day. The siblings are growing up in an interfaith family and celebrate both holidays with all their grandparents. They bake up a batch of gingerbread dreidels – a blend of each holiday’s traditions. When their grandparents arrive the next morning, they welcome Hanukkah and Christmas with latkes, pudding and holiday stories. My Phuong’s illustrations capture the kids’ joy and the book includes a recipe and instructions for readers to make their own gingerbread dreidels.
“Oy, Santa!: Or, There’s a Latke to Learn about Hanukkah” Joyce Schriebman; illustrated by Gila von MeissnerIntergalactic Afikoman; ages 4-9
In Joyce Schriebman’s humorous story, Oliver Overstreet hits send on an email to Santa to let the jolly North Pole gift-giver know that he is Jewish and that Santa and his reindeer can skip his chimney. As the pages unfold, Oliver sets Santa straight, to make sure he knows the difference between Hanukkah and Christmas and that Santa should never eat potato latkes with ketchup.
“Let It Glow” Marissa Meyer and Joanne LevyFeiwel and Friends; ages 8-12
When two 12-year-old girls, each adopted at birth, meet by chance, they discover that they are identical twins. Aviva Davis, a vivacious Broadway hopeful, is growing up in an interfaith, interracial family and loves to hang out with her Jewish Bubbe. Holly Martin, who is Christian and lives with her mother and grandfather, is a more reserved book nerd. In this coming-of-age story, told in the twins’ alternating voices, the sisters secretly switch places at home just in time for Hanukkah and Christmas. When their mischievous scheme goes too far, Aviva and Holly argue. A family health scare draws the two unsuspecting families together in this Chrismukkah “Parent Trap” mashup, and Aviva and Holly realize the resilience of family bonds and gain a deeper meaning of their faiths.
“My Dreidel” Ann Diament KoffskyApples & Honey Press; ages birth to 1
Young ones will relate to the child-like pup in Ann Koffsky’s cheerful board book when she tries to spin the Hanukkah dreidel with her paws. Her older brother helps out as they spin and dance till they plop like the dreidel.
“Don’t Invite a Bear Inside for Hanukkah” Karen Rostoker-Gruber; illustrated by Carles ArbatApples & Honey Press; ages 3-6
There’s mayhem in this laugh-out-loud story when a young boy invites a Jewish bear into his house for his family’s Hanukkah celebration. But when the fun turns messy, the boy asks his new friend to leave, a decision he instantly regrets after he realizes the bear is sad. All ends well when the thoughtful boy invites the bear back to celebrate together — outside.
“Uri and the King of Darkness: A Hanukkah Story” Nati Bait; illustrated by Carmel Ben Ami; translated by Ilan KurshanKalaniot Books; ages 4-9
As Hanukkah is about to begin, Uri and his sister Shir worry about their father when he is late coming home from work. Uri is frightened by a dark evening shadow cast from outside his window. He musters his courage, and with Shir, they fend off the imagined monster, waving his toy shield and Shir’s child umbrella. When their father arrives home bearing a boxful of sufganiyot, the fried jelly donuts enjoyed at Hanukkah, the family lights the menorah, with a more confident Uri, knowing he can draw on Hanukkah’s power of light to vanquish his fears.
“A Dragon For Hanukkah” Sarah Mlynowski; illustrated by Ariel Landy Orchard Press; ages 3-8
Hannah gets a dragon on the first night of Hanukkah, kicking off a holiday full of imagination, surprise and whimsy. This lavishly illustrated picture book is meant for both experienced celebrators of Hanukkah and people who are just learning about the holiday.
“Beam of Light: The Story of the First White House Menorah” Elisa Boxer; illustrated by Sofia MooreRocky Pond Books; ages 4-8
In 1948, the interior of the White House had to be completely renovated, requiring the “People’s House” to be closed. Some of the original wood was salvaged and put in storage. In this picture book, families discover the little known White House history of how, some 70 years later, a master woodworker transformed one of the pieces of rescued wood into a stunning Hanukkah menorah. In 2022, President Joe Biden kindled the menorah during the White House Hanukkah celebration.
“Eight Sweet Nights, A Festival of Lights: A Hanukkah Story” Charlotte Offsay; illustrated by Menahem HalberstadtDoubleday Books for Young Readers; ages 4-7
A multi-generational, racially diverse family gathers in the home of a young girl to celebrate Hanukkah with old and new traditions. They fry up batches of potato latkes, light the menorah and sing and dance.
“Hanukkah (Celebrations & Festivals)” Lesléa Newman; illustrated by Rotem TeplowQuarto Books; ages 5-7
Meet Lior, a young Israeli who’s the perfect, kid-friendly explainer-in-chief for all things Hanukkah. As Lior’s multicultural family gathers to celebrate, he shares the joy of the holiday and gently guides young readers through the hows and whys of the holiday. This engaging read-aloud includes blessings, crafts and Hanukkah greetings from around the world.
“The Festival of Lights: 16 Hanukkah Stories” Edited by Henry HerzAlbert Whitman & Company; ages 9-12
This Hanukkah collection — which includes stories, poetry and a comic — is geared toward older children and independent readers. In Herz’s humorous entry, “Der Verzauberte Löffel,” Caleb, a Jewish seventh-grader, impulsively bets that he’ll win his school’s holiday bake-off against Tyler, the classmate who bullies him. In an unexpected finish, Caleb — and Tyler — learn about forgiveness and second chances. Other works include “A Light in Darkness,”  Kimberly Brubaker Bradley’s story set in London during World War II, and Erica Perl’s “The Most Jewish Christmas Song Ever” that will strike a chord with theater lovers.
“The Day I Became A Potato Pancake” Arie Kaplan; illustrated by Beilin XuApples & Honey Press; ages 7-9
In this action-packed, comic-style chapter book, Naomi and Ben use their sleuthing skills to get into Naomi’s mother’s garage-turned-science lab. When the overly-enthusiastic kids set off an unexpected escapade, Ben is transformed into a potato latke. In a race against time, Naomi’s mother tries to reverse the experiment. It’s a page-turning whodunit that takes the friends into outer space and back.
“Rachel Friedman and Eight Not-Perfect Nights of Hanukkah” Sarah Kapit; illustrated by Genevieve KoteHenry Holt and Co.; ages 5-9
In the first chapter book featuring Rachel Friedman, a plucky grade-schooler who has ADHD and a strong Jewish identity, Rachel learned important lessons about when to follow rules — and when to break them. In the second, Rachel returns with high hopes for a festive Hanukkah. Instead, she has to overcome her brother Aaron’s bah-humbug holiday grumpiness.
“The Light From My Menorah: Celebrating Holidays around the World” Robin Heald; illustrated by Andrea BlinickPajama Press; ages 4-7
In this lavishly illustrated picture book, a young boy celebrates Hanukkah with his family. He follows the light of the flickering flames as it travels across the world, where he sees families celebrating Diwali, Kwanzaa and Christmas, winter holidays with their own candle-lighting rituals that shine with the universal hope of light against darkness.
5 notes · View notes
kits-ships · 1 year ago
Text
random christmas ramble/gush with azi/crow/sera
i just know aziraphaIe loves christmas so so much...... he decorates his bookstore. he decorates sera's apartment/nursery. and you BET he would decorate crowIey's apartment if he'd just let him in there!!
still, they love to humor him...... they go out and get festive drinks, sera watches christmas movies with azi, and crowIey goes digging through antique stores for old decorations to fit aziraphaIes aesthetic <3
also? the amount of hot cocoa they drink is ungodly and sera's house reeks of gingerbread and chocolate chip cookies... plus everyone has to be on watch to make sure crowIey isn't making their hot cocoa with a bit of baileys added
on christmas eve, they plop into bed (even if crowIey and azi dont really need to sleep) and they just rest for a few hours until azi is like !!! ok!! christmas morning!! get up!!! and they then plop onto the couch to eat breakfast, listen to christmas records, then PRESENTS... sera loves everything she gets (even if she doesnt exactly know what youre gifting her), crowIey makes a snarky comment about their choice of present but secretly adores it, and aziraphaIe is near tears every time he unwraps something. even if you just got him fuzzy socks he becomes a sniffling little wet beast....
i dont know what else they do bc i dont really do much for christmas but they definitely open christmas crackers, maybe miracle up a lil snow, and azi convinces them to go skating with him! sera falls. aziraphaIe falls. crowIey is surprising good at it??
2 notes · View notes
clarktooncrossing · 1 year ago
Text
Giraffe's Eye View: Christmas Specials Special (2023) | Barbie in Nutcracker
Chestnuts are roasting on an open fire. Jack Frost is nipping at your nose. Mom and dad can hardly wait for school to start again. All the dogs in the neighborhood somehow learned to bark Jingle Bells in sync. Yet retail workers are still more annoyed with Mariah Carey. Snow is getting shoveled, tossed, and formed into sentient beings leading parades without permits. It makes for an excellent distraction as the Krampus abducts children for bad behavior. Fruitcake is exchanged only to find its permanent home in the garbage. Terrorists have hijacked the Holiday office party right before your boss can give you a Jelly of the Month Club membership as your bonus. And of course, the Turducken has returned to wreak its fiery vengeance upon an unsuspecting world! If all this doesn’t put you in the Christmas spirit, perhaps these following Holiday specials will!
Greetings people of today and robots of tomorrow! It is I, Santa Clark, your geeky giraffe friend with a deep love of Christmas! My obsession for the yuletide is rivaled only by Maleficent’s hatred for it, which is saying a lot considering she once teamed up with Mad Madam Mim to kidnap the literal Spirit of Christmas. Yes, that really happened. I know this due to my annual pilgrimage to the Island of Misfit Specials, home to obscure or nerdy festive media ranging from movies, TV episodes, and comics. It’s no easy journey. Constantly I find myself confronted by sinister snowmen, genocidal gingerbread men, and worst of all, crappy commercials. Getting stabbed in the foot by a candy-cane wielding cookie is one thing, but I swear I’ve seen that ad for Wilbur’s White Elephant Gift Emporium more times than I’ve seen Miracle on 34th Street! Sometimes at night I catch myself reciting that jingle. Wilbur’s White Elephant Gift Emporium: Where Christmas meets Convenience! Huh, maybe Maleficent had a point.
Nah, my deep-rooted appreciation for this time of year can weather even the most moronic marketing! It helps that most of the merry media I’ve seen have put me in the perfect Holiday mood! Examples include the time a Ninja Turtle found himself trapped in a truck full of stollen toys, a drunk department store Santa stumbling onto a wish-granting magic bag, Big Bird nearly becoming a popsicle, Gwenpool waking up in a world where Galactus took the place of jolly ol’ Saint Nicholas, a terrifying tree stump trying to slaughter some saps over a stupid ship war, and the year when Death gave the Little Match Girl the greatest gift of all. Needless to say, I thought I had seen it all. That is, until I took my friends on a trip to the Island, tasking them to find me new, strange, seasonal specials to review! Some of them were fair, finding me festive favorites as comforting as coco in front of the fireplace. Others were fiendish, wanting to feed off my misery like Gremlins after midnight. Regardless of how naughty or nice my companions were, I’ve compiled all of their suggestions into a makeshift advent calendar! So stay tuned everyday until Christmas to see how badly my buddies can shred what little sanity I have left.
On the first day of Christmas, my buddies gave to me...
Tumblr media
Hoo boy, what a way to start. Now you’d think my friend Molly (molly420) would’ve made her choice due to the magnificent Margot Robbie vehicle that came out earlier this year. Honestly, Harley Quinn’s humorous turn as the iconic blonde bimbo had nothing to do with this. I’ve been trying to get this special written for a while now and Molly missed her chance to partake the first time around. Knowing I’d offer myself up to being tormented again, she set an alarm on her phone to remind herself to suggest Barbie in Nutcracker when the opportunity presented itself the following year. That kind of disturbing dedication I can oddly respect. Still doesn’t stop me from feeling annoyed. Jolly as I may be, Nutcracker turns me into a Scrooge! My love of Christmas only goes so far when I’m bored out of my mind in an auditorium, watching confused toddlers prance around on stage, the titular toy soldier clashing against a dude in a bargain bin rat costume. How can a show be so tedious yet so trippy? No wonder I made a comic comparing my going to see it to the five stages of grief. My love of Barbie isn’t much higher, her only being interesting whenever she’s in a Pixar picture. Say what you will, but Barbie and Ken’s relationship in Toy Story 3 gave us Ariel and Batman flirting. Any argument you have is invalid. Still, perhaps I’m being too harsh. I’ve praised an adaptation featuring Mickey and Minnie before, so there is precedent for decent retellings of this tale. Will Barbie manage to pull off something similar?
Certainly not in the art department she won’t! Admittedly this is a direct-to-video movie from 2001, a time when computer animation was still finding its footing. Not to mention, this movie was one of the first to use motion capture, employing the world famous New York City Ballet to provide the dancing seen on screen. In a time when Gollum wasn’t even a fully realized character yet, that’s actually impressive! Really, I have to tip my hat there. Everything else looks like a sugar plum fever dream. This is one of those movies you never want to pause ever! The lighting is lackluster, the textures are terrible, and any movement outside of the dancing is stiffer than a board. This animation has aged like eggnog! Still, it’s not the worst cartoon content I’m critiquing this Christmas. At least it succeeds in making Barbie look as plastic as ever.
Speaking of our pink protagonist, our story starts with Barbie (Kelly Sheridan) in the middle of instructing her ballet class. A class that consists of one brat failing to master a basic move. Business is booming! Seeing her sole source of income struggling, our blonde ballet instructor halts class in order to tell a self-insert fanfiction where she takes on the role of Clara. She is visited by her adventurous Aunt Drosselmayer (Kathleen Barr) on Christmas Eve, bringing with her a horribly rendered Nutcracker. Her niece is smitten by the doll cuz some peeps have kooky kinks. She even goes so far as to bandage up its arm when her brother breaks it. Great, now he can’t come with Clara to Cowboy Camp! Despite the busted limb, the wooden warrior is able to ward off an army of malicious mice that invade the house later that night. Leading these vile vermin is their king, voiced by the GOAT, Tim Curry. Oh Tim, you’re the gift that keeps on giving! He is the savory pinch of salt that can turn any drab slab of beef into a five-star steak. He is the shiny red ribbon tied up on that piece of coal you found in your stocking. He is the guy who has it out bad for Christmas if this and Belle’s Enchanted Christmas are any indication. As per usual he adds sinister charisma to an otherwise forgettable fiend.
A shame he’s not in the movie for long. Upon waking up, Barbie takes a page out of Clark Griswold’s guide to exterminating pests by covering the critter in a coat before bashing its brains out with a hammer. Or at least that’s what should’ve happened. Rather she stands still long enough for the Mouse King to use his magical scepter to shrink her down like Ant-Man. Only after does she repel the rodent via meekly kicking her slipper at him. Brilliant strategy Barbie, G.I. Joe’s got nothin’ on you! Especially since now you’re the same size. Left wondering how to return to normal, the suddenly sentient owl perched atop her grandfather clock swoops in to exposit. Oh sure, she could’ve prevented this from happening by simply eating the mice, but that’d be too logical. Jee, thanks ya' feathery fool. Instead she tasks the two with finding the Sugar Plum Princess, a magical maiden from the Kingdom of Parthenia who went missing years ago. Only she can help Barbie regain her tall status as well as dethrone the mousey monarch.
Thus off they’re sent to this magical realm, encountering freakish fairies, rampaging rock giants, multicolored mares, and the always bickering Captain Candy (Ian James Corlett) and Major Mint (Christopher Gaze). Whenever these two aren’t repressing their obvious sexual tension they’re blaming the missing Prince Eric for their troubles. He's the reason for their many woes! A sentiment shared by the few survivors still living here. Dang, you folks have a nasty habit of misplacing your monarchs. Maybe you ott’a start tagging them.
Whatever happened to Prince Eric? According to Mint his friend was next in line to rule before finding himself smitten by a red-headed fish girl who saved him from a sinking ship. Shirking off more of his responsibilities led to the Mouse King eventually seizing power, the tiny tyrant transforming the prince into the very same Nutcracker (Kirby Morrow) escorting Barbie in the present. A plot twist so obvious even our heroine saw it coming a mile away. Props to this picture for subverting expectations but that just makes Barbie’s inability to figure out the bigger reveal all the more moronic. Cuz yeah, no freak’n duh she's the Sugar Plum Princess! No doubt all of you figured that out as soon as the name was dropped. By the end Barbie finally figures it out herself, using her powers to grow back to full size, squish the Mouse King under her hot-pink heel, then dance an annoyingly long amount of time with her now human boi toy. Hey, might as well get your money’s worth out of those New York Ballerinas.
My snark should’ve made it clear by now how this adaptation isn’t for me. That’s not to say there aren’t things I liked. For starters, I appreciated the writers’ attempt to turn what’s normally a string of random sequences into a coherent narrative. Granted, they never explain how Aunty Drosslemeyer came into possession of the Nutcracker, why the Sugar Plum Princess went missing in the first place, or how Barbie suddenly learns how to use her magic, but still the effort is there. Overall the script wasn’t as brain dead as I feared it’d be. Then again, perhaps it didn’t seem as stupid due to the talented voice cast reading it. Aside from Curry, the ensemble is stuffed with My Little Pony alumni, Starlight Glimmer delivering a decent performance for our main star. Clearly she struck a chord with audiences considering how many times she’d reprise this role afterwards. Out of all the cast though, Kirby Morrow as the Prince was the weakest link, his voice never matching the character design. Not to mention, they had the audacity to cast Curry and never give him ONE stink’n song number? Screw this movie not being a musical, you don't cast a Sweet Transvestite without letting them sing! It’s a crime punishable by death! Atop of that, the pacing is peculiar in places, the plot twists are obnoxiously obvious, and the animation is just adequate. By no means is this a masterpiece.
It is, however, a great excuse to spend time with my cousin. Being a fan of Barbie for as long as she’s been alive meant she was the perfect person to call to borrow a copy from. We got together and had a laugh at the movie’s expense, my cousin unable to ignore the apparent flaws either. Fun times were had, and what more could I possibly ask for? At least now I don’t have to review any more versions of Nutcracker… right?
Tumblr media
INDEX | NEXT REVIEW >
2 notes · View notes