#Gen 6 feels like it’s full of many legendaries where they just…didn’t need them

[pokemonfrommemory]

Doggie

[despazito]

Complete list of all problems known so far in Pokemon Sword and Shield with data and/or proof for each problem

[I am copying this post from the pokemon subreddit from u/Terotu]

Seeing as there's a lot of people that don't quite know the extent of the issues and that there's no real compilation of the problems, I feel like everyone needs a list with info and sources of each and every current problem with the games, it's a long list but I've tried to put it all together, it's not just dexit people. I will post everything that is 100% confirmed and known so far, there's potentially other problems, but this is made as a somewhat "quick" digest with info that has been 100% proven, for anyone out of the loop that wants to know exactly what's happening with these games.

1. The number of usable Pokemon has been cut, only less than half are now usable, known as Dexit, it means that you won't be able to use these pokemon in the new games, you won't be able to transfer them in, and you won't be able to do anything with them sans sticking them in home for the foreseeable future (Home will probably be a paid only subscription based service just like its predecessor), for all intents and purposes, these Pokemon are basically removed from the main games franchise and they will take probably years to come back, if ever. An image with the cut/not cut pokemon can be found here, pokemon in green are confirmed to be in, pokemon in purple have galar forms, pokemon in yellow are in the data, but there's nothing for them, they could be leftover data like the items and other things, could be giveaway/event only, could only come from other games, etc, there's no way to know what's the plans for them at the moment, if any, pokemon in red are cut. The excuse GF used for this culling was that it let's them work on delivering better animations and a more carefully crafted game, since they don't have to put more time and effort into redoing the models. This is complete BS as the game polish is worse than ever, and the models seem to just be somewhat edited XY models.

2. Just like the Pokemon cut, about 144 moves were removed, 99 moves excluding the let's go and other outlier moves, this includes extremely important and used mainstay moves like Hidden Power, return/frustration and Pursuit, on top of extremely old moves that have been there since gen 1, some of these moves were important for the viability of several Pokemon, which may cause them to be way less effective if not way worse when it comes to battles, on top of this, it also removed some SIGNATURE MOVES of certain Pokemon. The full list for deleted mainstay pokemon moves can be found here Attempts at transferring Pokemon with these moves will apparently get this message: "This move can’t be used. It’s recommended that this move is forgotten. Once forgotten, this move can’t be remembered."

3. Short game, the first streamer beat the champion at around the 14 hour mark, while he did this by skipping a fair amount of trainer battles, other streamers are clocking in about 16-20 hours, seems like the average will be about 18 hours to beat the game. Here's one of the many streamers, he's right before champion and clocking in at 14:34.

4. The graphics are extremely mediocre, it constantly looks worse and less polished than LGPE, the textures are often inexcusable. Examples of the bad graphics seen here 1 2 3 4 5 6 A comparison with LGPE can be seen here and here Here's a game recently released for switch, another picture found here, the difference is unreal.

5. There's constant graphical issues, not just low quality graphics, pop in is present at all points of the game due to bad coding, trainer models will also disappear mid battle when an attack with a high number of particles is used, this also happened in SM, however, SM moved the camera away to avoid people seeing it, they didn't even try this time. This means it's either a carry over from SM and they just copy pasted most of the code, or they somehow have to remove the trainers to avoid a switch from somehow getting fps drops. The pop-ins can be evidenced here and here. Trainers dissapearing mid battle can be evidenced here

6. Animations, one of the main reasons why GF cut pokemon, at least in the interviews, are as shoddy as ever. There's extremely lazy animation all over the game, from normal attacks to key moments in the game, such as the encounter with the box legendaries. Most of the animations are also completely copy pasted from older games, one example seen here with Hau(the entire character of hop is basically a copy paste of hau.) Most of the animations for the camp are also copy pasted from xy amie, evidenced here. Pokemon battle animations are just as bad as before, if not worse, pictured here is a pokemon headbutting with its feet. Another example found here, THE MAIN BOX ART POKEMON CINEMATIC, THIS IS THE GAME CLIMAX, another example on the other version found here In fact, it could be considered way worse if compared to the last gen, example of upscaled USUM cutscenes. (Notice the graphical change isn't that big, the only difference here is increasing the resolution)

7. Cutscenes and restrictions, like previous Pokemon games the cutscene and story forcing and restrictions are insane this time around, seems to be even more intrusive and in your face than before at times, while keeping the same level of cutscene intrusion than past gen. The video for this point was taken down, but if you wish to see this you should be able to find it by searching the gameplay clips/streams online

8. The difficulty, just like the cut scene problem, this carries over from earlier games and it's even worse.There were constant heals, to the point where in the first routes you're not able to go beyond 3 trainer fights without getting a full heal. The first streamer avoided fights and didn't train at all, it still was one shotting gym leader dynamaxed ace pokemon.This can be seen here.

9. Post-Game is almost non-existant, as usual since masuda-Ohmori started directing, there's no frontier, there's also no frontier like facility. The post game consists of battle tower and a very short sequence of missions where you beat some dynamax pokemon for your rival to catch the other legendary. Not only this, but the battle tower is also an inferior version of past towers, it doesn't have super single nor super double battles, it has no triple battles and there's no "tower bosses", it's just random trainer npcs after another.

10. Problems with game design and behavior, beyond difficulty and progression, there's other problems in the overall game design. Examples of this is not being able to catch Pokemon in the wild areas until you got a badge allowing you to do so, which usually covers your current level. Meaning if you find a level 31 shiny or a level 31 pokemon you really want, you won't be able to catch it until you go and beat the next gym. For shiny hunters, this one is gonna be really important, you cannot see if your Pokemon is gonna be shiny or not in the overworld, this means that on top of the badge limit, you also got this potential problem. Evidenced here.

11. Removed past features with virtually no new additions, seems like this is a mainstay in Pokemon, removing older features so they become one of a time gimmicks, but unlike earlier titles this new game doesn't adds anything new except dynamaxing, which is limited to gyms only. This particular gen removes Mega Evolutions and Z moves, mega evolutions in particular were a huge deal and seeing them suddenly removed means that there's little reason to get involved with any new addition, no matter how mainstay or how much GF forces it when it will very soon be gone. A list of these removed features can be found here.

12. No scaling whatsoever, models are the same sizes of XY (giving more plausibility to them not really redoing the models).Any argument against this is thrown out of the window when dynamaxing exists, since the models seem to be edited XY models then the problem remains. Here's the non scaled model in sword and shield. Here's an scaled model, released in a game that came out 15 years ago for a the Nintendo Gamecube, something way less powerful than the switch.

13. No GTS, retera thread on the discovery found here, the only strings that refer to the GTS are leftovers from Let's Go code, as seen here and here. This is most likely due to Home(this means that you will have to pay for switch online+home for services older games already included) Thanks to /u/c_will for pointing this one out and gathering the info.

14. A 20 dollar price increase for less content than earlier 3DS games, with subpar graphics and removal of features, an overall shoddy release for a higher price point.

15. Performance, game is locked to 30 fps, and while that's not a big issue by itself, this is coupled with slowdown at certain moments such as dynamaxing, it can drop fps to the floor and turn the game into a slideshow for a while. Evidenced here. Still gathering more info on this one, as it's a relatively new occurrence that hasn't happened to all users, take this one with a grain of salt

16. The overall lack of quality, polish and effort put into the game, this is all the minor/somewhat minor but still very telling problems with the game. This is apparent in many ways all throughout the game, things like the wrong backgrounds or just voids for pokemon battles. Two example of the wrong backgrounds seen here and [here] (https://clips.twitch.tv/FriendlyCleanOstrichArsonNoSexy) One example of the void background seen here (these happen on indoor fights and some non indoor but scripted battles)Examples of backgrounds on indoor and everywhere else in both LGPE and colosseum, seen here and here. Then there's complete lack of music in the game story most important moments, seen here. Starters are also shiny locked. The entire world freezes when using certain objects, as seen here. To this, you add up the emptiness of the wild area and the badly implemented weather changes that don't make much sense, both seen here No animation for flying, no elite 4, no victory road, etc, this is added to all the other problems that show the lack of effort put into them.

This franchise deserves better.

You deserve better.

These games are not only a huge step down from earlier titles, but it goes beyond what used to be already barely  tolerable standards to way below standards, keep in mind this is the biggest, most profitable franchise on earth.

This is the first time a pokemon main game is released on console, people were excited for game freak to finally do whatever they wanted and it's been done with the most minimal of  efforts, all the money you've spent on Pokemon didn't went on making this a better game, it went straight into the pockets of the people in charge, those that made sure this was made with the most minimum effort and those that cut  corners.

Companies that made games decades ago on hardware less powerful than the switch shouldn't be doing a better job than game freak, and companies doing work in the switch have completely obliterated game freak when it comes to developing a video game.

Keep in mind that your purchase of these games causes this:

Continue the yearly release cycle that makes the games rushed and forces the devs to insane crunch time, creating the low morale problem

Tells them that you're ok with these problems, and they will keep lowering the bar and cutting corners on development

Your money will continue going into the pockets of those responsible for these problems

I implore you to be a smart consumer, I've played Pokemon since I red, ever since I was a child, I can no longer support this franchise, I probably won't buy a Pokemon product ever again if this is gonna be how they're gonna treat the games and its fans.

[inikavulpixelreviews]

Let’s Talk About Pokemon - Gen 7 Retrospective

That's at least a little more sizable than the XY generation was. Granted we have some Alolan Forms to help inflate the numbers a bit. Sure, if you were to count Gen 6′s Mega Evolutions, Gen 7 would be the actual smallest Gen to date. But remember what I said last generation's recap with how Gamefreak seemed to be taking a “quality over quantity” approach for that generation? That mentality seems to be back in full force here. 'Cause we're looking at my second favorite Gen right behind Gen 5.

I did bring up that Gen 6 was my third favorite generation in terms of the new, numerical Pokemon introduced. What has Alola muscle over it is how it's crammed as much inventiveness into the designs as they could think. The starters, the Legendaries/Kinda-Legendary Ultra Beasts, even the common fodder Pokemon have a little more going on than their typical ilk. And even some of the more boring designs like Oranguru and Passimian have interesting battle mechanics by changing the way you can approach double battles entirely on their own.

That also seemed to be a focus this generation. Not all of course, but a lot of the new Pokemon seemed to be based on different gameplay interactions and having unique abilities or signature moves. Between Salandit's Corrosion to Minior's Shields Down to Mimikyu's Disguise to Toucannon's Beak Blast and to Toxipex's Baneful Bunker. They really tried taking a shot at making each Pokemon have something unique to bring to battles. They even essentially made a more tournament-rules friendly alternative to Arceus in Silvally.

But there's a little subject more contentious about Gen 7 than the Pokemon, of course. That being the games themselves, which feel like they got the fandom split. I like Sun and Moon, but even I'll admit Gamefreak's gotta try a little harder for Gen 8. All the inventive things they've tried from a gameplay perspective ultimately don't change much. The game still had an 8-mini-act structure just like the Gym games. HMs getting replaced with Ride Pokemon is nice, but is still the same mechanic with different dressing. The biggest changes in the usual story structure don't even matter that much, the biggest change feeling like you get to know the region's Legendary Pokemon from the very start in the form of Nebby. Otherwise, it's just A Little Bit Better Written Than Usual. Y'know, not that Pokemon games tend to be master classes in writing anyway, its only real competition there being Black and White's story. (And even then, Sun and Moon's in desperate need of a Skip Cutscene button.)

Then there’s the Let’s Go games, which I suppose are technically Gen 7 games. Those got even more divisive. Some love it, others hate it. I personally just find it boring as a rather dumbed down remake of the Kanto games, only really playing because it was an excuse to use Melmetal. There’s some neat things in there that I wouldn’t mind seeing implemented in the main series (namely overworld-wandering Pokemon and AVs replacing EVs.) Just please keep the very poorly implemented Go-imitating catch mechanics as far away from the main series as possible.

Pokemon’s also starting to get more competition recently as well. Other than Digimon of course. Ni No Kuni, eventually Tem Tem, of course, the rise of the mighty Yokai Watch, which to my understanding, has been wrecking Pokemon in terms of sale numbers in their home region. Each of them implementing monster-catching RPG mechanics in their own unique way. I can’t speak for Yokai Watch, but Ni No Kuni is a lot more like a traditional JRPG, with the monsters being familiars that still fight in battle, but the trainers themselves also participate in the battle as well! And Tem Tem, while very much like Pokemon, is giving it more of an MMO angle. While I’m not one to shout about how much Pokemon just NEEDS to make an MMO with ALL THE REGIONS already, I am interested in seeing where TemTem winds up. It IS a Kickstarter game that made way more than it asked for, but as we know from a certain Strong Numerical Value That Is One Less Than Ten, that’s no guarantee it’ll be amazing. But worth keeping an eye on. It still has the potential to be something Gamefreak’s gonna have to watch out for.

Whether I like these other games or not, I appreciate that they exist, because they mean that sooner or later Gamefreak's gonna have to get their ass in gear and do something about it. I'm really getting burnt out on a new Pokemon game coming out literally every year. What I've wanted more than ever is for Gamefreak to at least take a hiatus from the yearly releases to have the game that comes after said break to really kick it out of the park. I get that the Ultra games probably didn't take up much development time and from my understanding Let's Go was made by a whole different team, so those games coming out in the years between Sun and Moon and Sword and Shield might not have much bearing on the latter's quality, but still. Pokemon's not had a major mechanical update since they introduced Abilities in Gen 3. I just hope Gen 8 does something interesting or has some form of major mechanical overhaul. Not asking Pokemon battles to be in real time or anything. Just some new Super Forms and powerful one-off moves aren’t gonna cut it for me. After over 20 years of Pokemoning and on, what, year 8 of a new Pokemon game coming out every year? I'm a little bit fatigued.

...Okay, let's end this on a better note than that.

I AM still exciting to see what Gen 8 has to offer, and I hope they mean it when they say they're trying something different. And of course, I'm ALWAYS gonna be excited to see some more new Pokemon. Gens 5, 6, and 7 are proving they're nowhere close to being out of steam yet, and I can't wait to see more Gen 8 Pokemon come our way in the coming months.

Top 10 Favorites of Gen 7:

Dangit this is hard. So many to love! So many new super-duper-tippity-top favorites!! Shout outs to Palossand, Silvally, Salandit, Xurkitree, and Buzzwole. There's just too many good'ens!!!!

Bottom 10 Least Favorite of Gen 7:

Amazingly, the only Pokemon here I really “dislike” is Zeraora. The rest are just that cherry-picked handful of Alolan Pokemon I don't really care that much about. Hurray!

Bottom 10 Least Favorite Overall:

Almost got through with no new additions. Almost.

The Cutest:

God this Generation was good for Pokemon I just want to pick up and hug. Or in Mimikyu's case, get horrendously murdered by because I got a little too close to taking its rag off. And I'd still say “Thanks.”

The Coolest:

The Prettiest:

The Spookiest:

This gen was really good to scratch a Halloweeny itch. A BUNCH of cool new ghosts, complete with the eerie head leech Pokemon I never would’ve suspected would make it into Pokemon!

Most Creative:

Weirdest/Most Unique:

This section here could've been filled with Ultra Beasts alone if I really wanted to, haha.

Most Forgettable:

Magearna is here not necessarily because I think the design is forgettable, but gee wizz I keep thinking it's not a Gen 7 Pokemon.

Most Personality:

Here's a new section! Gen 7 had a lot of personality-based designs, so there was actually a fair bit of competition for a slot like this. Buzzwole and Bewear are just hilarious, and I'm still thoroughly impressed with Meltan. They managed to cram so much adorable personality into such a simple design. And I’ll eat my hat the day we get a Pokemon more smug than Salandit.

Most Under-Appreciated:

Poor Stakataka keeps getting dismissed because of its bad typing... not that I can blame anyone because Rock/Steel is easily the most boring of all the UB typings, especially when we had room to have a Ghostly duo between it and Blacephalon to have us our first Rock/Ghost type!

Most Long Overdue Concepts:

Seriously, how'd it take 7 generations to get a wolf and a mosquito? Let alone 6 generations to finally get a second MANTIS and traditional horse Pokemon?! As far as spooky Pokemon go, you'd think a shipwreck would be one of the easier and more obvious concepts to go after, even if the one we finally got didn't take the form I expected it to. And Araquanid's just here because a fully evolved BUG/WATER was a long time frickin coming.

Best Regional Variants:

At least I'm naming the category that way because Regional Variants better be a series mainstay from now on!! These are the Alolan Forms with the most fun alternate take on their original forms. And Vulpix and Ninetales are there because fox solidarity.

Best Ultra Beasts:

Again, I really hope Ultra Beasts won't be an Alola-Only thing. I want to avoid talking about Gen 8 spoilers to be considerate of anyone that wants to avoid those, but a certain image carved into the ground in a particular scene has me hoping Ultra Beasts might be returning. And that Xurkitree could have a big brother in the near future. There's hardly much basis because said carving could literally be anything, but. Please.

Anyway, I love the Ultra Beasts as a concept of extra-dimensional alien beings. Some sell the look of freaky aliens better, especially ones like Nihilego, Xurkitree, Kartana, and Celesteela. But nonetheless, these 6 are my favorites out of our roster. HOPEFULLY so far.

Pokemon That Should’ve Gotten Alolan Forms:

I tend to agree that limiting Alolan Forms to Gen 1 Pokemon only was a silly thing to do, but even minding that, I feel like there was crazy amounts of missed potential here. Seel and Dewgong just desperately need some fresh attention to stop being Pokemon’s more forgettable critters. While I suppose Lapras and Tentacruel are excusable given they’re sea dwellers regardless, I totally wouldn’t mind electric jellyfish versions of the Tentas, or even a Kracken-based form for the former. This was also MORE than an opportunity to redeem Dragonite with a more Dragonair-like variant. And some tropical jungle variations of Paras and Venonat would be neat. I’m just saying, a Venomoth turned into more of a Tropical Hawkmoth would’ve been killer.

And Parasect hurts the most. You’re telling you’re gonna have Parasect inhabit this jungle area along with another, brand new mushroom Pokemon. AND you’re gonna introduce the concept of Gen 1 Pokemon taking on new forms based on the new and radically different habitats in Alola. And you’re just NOT gonna place some glowing mushrooms on their backs, turn them pale white, and call them Bug/Fairy types?!?!?! Hello?!?!!??!?

...Oh, am I forgetting something?

Top 50 Favorites Overall:

...Surprise! Yeah, just sorta decided “why not?” This is our last Gen for the rest of the year, so let's end it on a “Look At All My Favorites!” type of a bang. Also because it pained me to see all these not make it to some sort of Top Favorites highlight. And of course, they might not be 100% consistent with scores or previous Top 10 favorites. I'm only a human with a finicky brain that is constantly changing how absolutely precisely I feel about every single one of these. 

And... that's it... that's every single Pokemon reviewed. Every single Gen Recapped. We've had lots of ups and downs and plenty of getting a little too excited about cartoon animals. Gen 8 is still a ways away, and even when it comes out, I'd like to wait a few months to let the new designs settle into my mind before I go writing opinion pieces on all of them. And of course, for official artwork to be out for everybody.

BUT I do have a handful of ways to pass the time until Gen 8 does come out... What's up next exactly? Well, we won't have to wait too long, thankfully...

[Archive]

[princeyadon]

alright got home

thoughts on the trailer:

1.) new mons i actually love p much all of em, even if it’s just like, 4 new ones shown

2.) im wondering if that train seen goes all over the region?? but the region still looks full of life, at least in the cities

3.) i see they’re still removing HMs or the need for them as field moves, since that new bird mon serves as Fly. but it doesn’t look like it’ll be the same way gen 7 did it [which is good, it makes ride mons a gen 7 thing which helps w identity if u get what i mean]

4.) controllable cAMERA??? even if it’s just for a certain space, still, this is like, “holy shit we can move diagonally now” kind of shit. this might get this a lot tho but it feels very “open world” for pokemon, i guess id refer to this as the botw effect as its success wouldn’t make other games moving towards that open world experience a surprise. i do like this feature, even if it’s just for the “wild area”, that’s good! it means im actually hopeful for a full or mostly open world pokemon game.

this is a crazy step away from how linear gen 7′s map was [or was made to be w story progression]. im hoping it doesn’t get limited w hand holding!

5.) first impression for dynamax?? uhh, i feel like pokemon doesn’t need to keep adding all these weird “woah super powerful now!!” features. 

Pros: 

i think it’s funny, not in a bad way either, like it gives the game a lot of personality 

It can really be shocking or surprising in a battle, like the opportunity to make someone go “what!?” or rethink their battle strategy is interesting to me!

3 turns and only once in a battle is really good, i think it balances out way more and i initially thought it’d be like the mega case where it stays big till end of battle, or swapped out.

Cons: 

i just feel like each game is going to get some new over the top mechanic and eventually it’ll be a case of “how can we outdo the last one to keep interest!” and will spiral out of control.

it’s a lot to keep up with, really. im not an insanely hardcore fan or anything but even as someone who has managed to keep up w every gen [except i still havent played bw2 idk why] i find each new installment makes me struggle to keep keeping up... esp if you can use megas *and* z moves *and* dynamax in a battle...

i didn’t see any mention of needing an item held by the mon, but i did see the z-ring like device so im hoping it doesn’t actually make u hold an item for it;;;

6.) MAX RAID BATTLES???? IM ALWAYS DOWN FOR NEW MULTIPLAYER FEATURES AAAAAA

only problem is that uh... i don’t have many people on my switch, or esp not on at the same time as me //looks at splatoon

i also really like that the mons u encounter are [based on how much they mention it] really affected by weather/overworld. it means i have more replayability or motive to come back often to check the weather and mons i haven’t caught yet. esp as someone who tends to end up memorizing how many mons are on a route and which ones are rare

7.) leon looks like dad friend energy. im fucking crying tho his cape is full of stickers so he reminds me of those racing cars w ads all over em, and im betting that’s what his cape basically is

HIS NAME IS HOP???

finally another female professor 

8.) it looks like u get dynamaxing early..?? based on the gym footage, but it could be that they’re limited to showing certain mons..? i really hope u don’t get it so soon;;;

9.) :///// the.. l.. egendaries....

ok im.. im not a big fan of the designs like.. at all. they feel.. generic?? in a sort of, novice furry artist makes an oc, kind of way. yall literally couldn’t do better than putting a sword in a wolf’s mouth?????? idk, i feel like it leaves a lot to be desired. they’re also a little too similar? a lot of mons that match as legendaries were created w themes/matching visuals but still had enough differing features you can recognize em right off the bat [like the lake trio or eon siblings]. if u took away the sword and the shield, i can’t recognize who is who without looking closely. hell, i had a hard time adjusting when they showed their profiles.

otherwise they’re big gay and im down w that. unless they’re related

10.) shit i forgot to mention really quick: gym battles--or, gyms specifically, seem to be gone more or less. the puzzle aspect of the gym itself hasn’t been shown so im under the impression it’ll work a lot more like the anime in that you go in and fight the leader in a stadium, OR you have to make yer way to the stadium through the puzzle. either way can’t say. 

Also, im worried abt the new mons roster. i don’t mind that every few games doesn’t give us a full 100+ set of new mons, but judging by the amount of older gens i saw in the trailer, im going to be under the impression that the roster is looking a lot like gen 6 and we’re gonn get abt ~50 new mons. as a result;

i won’t be viewing anymore spoilers to make sure i have a better experience! bls don’t show me any new mons past this trailer thank you!

[ghostmartyr]

Pokémon White Randomized Nuzlocke Run [Part 6]

Five badges down, three to go!

Hail the victorious living:

Frogger (Seismitoad)

Ptera (Archeops)

Palm (Breloom)

Batman (Escavalier)

Gelding (Tornadus)

Fido (Entei)

Clay invited our ten-year-old self off to see a cave in the middle of the wilderness, so that’s first on the agenda today.

Or is it?

Yeah, fight time.

Bianca has learned the way of the Hyper Potion. I would mind this less if she used it on something that didn’t know Hypnosis. And Defense Curl. And Lucky Chant.

Bianca’s Musharna is much like Bianca’s Patrat. It has murder in its heart.

STOP FEEDING IT HYPER POTIONS BIANCA. JUST LET IT DIE.

Sigh. Well. It’s BRNed now. So Fido doesn’t have to be awake for the rest of this fight. Aw, but it wakes up anyway, because Fido loves me.

All of my fucking yes.

I’m going to let Gelding tackle the Pansear, because I don’t think he can get too hurt from it. I’d very much like to not be wrong about that, and ta-da, all is well.

The final Watchdog is before us.

How fitting that Gelding knows the move Revenge.

Confuse Ray is nothing before it.

.

Confuse Ray, Super Fang, and Hypnosis.

Hey so Batman’s in now and I don’t like this at all.

Lemonade for Batman. And now a Hyper Potion.

Super Fang can’t be its only attack.

HA, BATMAN WOKE UP!

She fought through the Confuse Ray and killed the bloodthirsty Watchdog!

Hell. I hate those things.

Bianca gives us Fly, so yay. When’s Surf coming around?

This route is great for Palm, so I’m going to give in, let him lead the party, and throw the Exp. Share on anything that can’t do jack against the current set of wilds. I guess it’s nice that everyone’s getting a turn up front.

Time to open up our new area. Hopefully it’ll be full of things Batman can grind against. ...Gosh, that’s a sentence.

LOOK AT THE COOL CAVE.

Also N is there.

Fight time?

Oh hey, I forgot you things existed!

I guess they’re people. I probably should not call them things. Hey N, why do you get a ninja squad with your knight motif? What kind of Mary Sue nonsense is leaking out of your green hair and if you give me your hat will I stop commenting on it?

Also, fight time is apparently not until the end of this cave. If then.

Which means now is the time for finding pokemon.

...Not you. No repeats.

Chargestone Cave’s true power is bringing all of the characters with names together. Hi Professor Juniper. Are you going to give me free stuff again? You are!

It’s a Lucky Egg!

That is an incredibly useful item to have. Thank you, Professor. I am so glad you do something besides telling people where they can ride their bikes.

Actually I don’t know if she does that. I haven’t tried to ride my bike anywhere I can’t. I’m too used to being yelled at over that.

‘Ello, score. I don’t know how I feel about how many of these things I recognize from elsewhere, and let me tell you about how much I wish this Yanmega did not have SonicBoom, but Yanmega’s cool.

The trick is not going on autopilot. This thing can murder any number of my team.

(Yes, I forgot the Quick Ball again.)

Net Ball?

...Nope.

This has the feel of not going well. Frogger, you have the most HP, go soak up some hits.

If I have to knock it out just to avoid a wipe I’m going to be sad.

I need to buy some stuff at the next town. I have eight Great Balls left. They aren’t even earning a shake. Hey, wait, that one did. Yay?

Yay!

Dang, name. Name.

I don’t think enough people are reading these to judge me if I name it Fluttershy. That’s his name now. See you another time, Fluttershy. Hopefully never. I like the current squad.

The game’s now decided it’s Summer.

This matters because now the random Deerling we come across will be adorable and green and I can never have one.

I’m gonna give Gelding the Lucky Egg and toss him out in front.

There’s Chansey in here. This one knows Minimize. Another move I don’t care for, but yay for Revenge killing it in one hit. Plus, you know, actually hitting it. This cave is going to be gold for exp.

A wild trainer appeared!

I can’t remember if Archen has a Rock typing. This thing is conceivably very dangerous. Not while it uses Agility, but... Yeah, okay, Acrobatics brought Gelding down to 25, Fido, operating under the theory that it doesn’t have a Rock move, go murder it.

Murder achieved. Good dog.

Frogger’s going to be in front for a bit while I see about healing.

Frogger does not do enough damage to harm the Chansey with Softboiled.

Batman, get in there and try to fix something.

Future plans include never letting Gelding take damage. This is all a massive inconvenience of switching and walking around and switching and yay exp.

I think the next time I can buy stuff I just need to make a concentrated effort to pick up some Potions. Walking back to whatever Center equivalent is nearest to save items is very time-consuming. I should give up and buy all the health I will never need.

Look at my super special awesome ninja escort. Because I might fall off the bridge if I’m left to my own devices or something, idk.

Gelding wants to learn Agility. I do not want him to learn Agility. Guess which one of us has an opinion that matters.

Now a Maractus has appeared. Is this cave just the land of repeats?

One level below, Shiftry, Chatot, and Xatu wander the halls. So only the first level is the land of repeats.

These guys both just gave me a Nugget for no reason. Score.

Oh great, a few steps away is someone who heals stuff. That is so much better than free Nuggets. Naturally the healing’s only there because Team Plasma and plot stuff needs to happen elsewhere in the cave, but we can’t have everything.

Another pokemon I love is Scraggy. Team Plasma likes using it. How dare they. Same with the Sandile set.

This gen has so many good pokemon what even.

Like, yes, Watchdog.

But everything else.

Heyo, Batman’s learned Iron Head. Ptera’s going to get the Exp. Share now. I think the leveling is going to be a little absurd for a while, but I want it to be absurd with everything on the same page. We do not play favorites on this team.

Because the favorite is dead.

Gelding’s turning out to be surprisingly useful just because his moveset has so much variety. He has a Fighting, Psychic, Flying, and Dark move, and a focus on both Attack stats. It just walks on things. Floats.

Hahaha except for Watchdogs with Hypnosis. Why does that not ever miss. Hypnosis, Super Fang, and terror. These are the tools of the devil.

!!!!!!!!

!

I can’t catch it, but ! ! !

I’ve never seen any of these in any of the games! This is truly the cave of wonders!

Also our new way of dealing with Watchdog is sending out Palm and having Palm Mach Punch it into oblivion. Because we shall not suffer a Watchdog to live.

Another level down, and there’s Grimer, Electrike...

I need a legendary bingo card and I need it yesterday. The heck. The actual heck.

...

Am. I playing with a shiny clause?

...

Okay, here’s how shinies will be dealt with: I am allowed to catch them outside the realms of the standard challenge. They will not receive nicknames, so will not be used. But I can try to catch them.

“Them” meaning this Grimer, because I don’t think shiny odds are affected by the Randomizer. This is just some cool natural luck.

...Luck that I think I am going to use my one Quick Ball on. I haven’t yet figured out which move is least likely to kill this critter, but all of my pokemon have ten levels on it, and are fully evolved. If I can dodge hurting it, I should.

Hella!

I don’t usually dig the green shinies, but it is super appropriate for Grimer, and I am very happy to have it.

This floor has Zubat. My heart has a feeling. You have not been missed, you fucking bat, but no Pokemon run would be complete without you. It just wouldn’t be the same.

You know, I think I might have gone down the wrong stairs for plot progression. There were just normal trainers and items down there, and there are stairs that go up to the right of those stairs.

...I’m gonna heal before I address that.

Up the stairs, and we’re back to Entei.

As well as plot.

I was about to ask if there’s any other gen that cares as much about its color names, but then I remembered that yes, pretty much all of them are linked well to some kind of something.

I keep disagreeing with N. I can’t remember/do not know if that changes anything in the slightest, it’s just what’s going on.

Hey so I forget. How does N rationalize his use of pokemon for battles? Was that in one of the dialogue bubbles I didn’t read? Or just much earlier in the game? I don’t particularly care, I’m just curious.

Then there’s Professor Juniper and all the other adults who listen to this kid and go all, “Oh sweetie, we all go through the phase of thinking we’re the only ones with good thoughts. Lots of love, keep having fun!”

I’m paraphrasing.

Look, Flying Gym place.

If there is some other way of thinking of it, I do not have it on my memory record. Oh, Move Deleter’s in the house next to the Center. That would be maybe useful if I still had a legendary that knew Cut.

I don’t, if you recall.

Hey, we meet Professor Juniper’s dad. He updates our pokedex, so maybe we won’t end up with question marks where most of our team’s numbers should be.

Flying Gym Leader’s name is Skyla. Pretty sure she is one of the Gym Leaders I am continually searching out femslash fic for. Results make me sad, but then again, it’s been a while. Maybe that’s what I’ll do after beating her.

“Hey kid, wanna see a graveyard?”

Aha.

That is much more depressing in a Nuzlocke run.

This is a really tiny city. There’s the airport, a few buildings, and then BAM, back to nature. After being immediately outside a cave. This town just popped into place because the airport showed up, didn’t it?

But more importantly...

It’s a new route!

What will we get?

I’m walking around the grass because I can’t remember if there are other kinds of grass in this route and I want the illusion of choice in my completely random options. This has led to fighting a triple battle with a trainer who has a Watchdog.

At least it can only make one thing fall asleep per turn. It doesn’t bother trying, because this monster knows Hyper Fang, which is maybe even more stressful when its only chance at attacking is a critical hit, but the important thing is that it’s over now and another Watchdog is dead.

We faint the pokemon we attack. My team can be killed, but not their opponents.

Watchdogs still die.

#Canon

Hello, I accidentally took a step into the grass, and here we have our new friend!

...How not to kill it. I think the usual route is just Biting it with something, but everything except Fido and Batman has ten levels on it, and Fido and Batman are Fido and Batman.

Grass/Water, right? Hm.

Frogger, let’s see if Mud Shot can keep the little guy alive.

Heyo! Not even to the orange. Good boy, Frogger.

And oh geez, I have been very negligent in buying stuff. Poke Balls are still in good shape, but none of the other Balls are.

Oh, nice. That was pretty much painless. He needs a name, though.

You remind me of a ninja turtle.

Leotello. Bam. I hope I don’t need you, because I know I didn’t choose the Water Stone to have, and I can’t recall if I’ve picked one up.

I really need to switch Gelding out of the first slot. Fido needs some leveling, and Gelding really does not anymore. He’s 40 in a field of high 30s. ...Okay, the actual field is high 20s, but the field known as my team is high 30s, and that’s what I care about.

Anyway, Fido. Witness the power of the Lucky Egg.

...After I go and buy some stuff before I forget.

(That didn’t happen, I fought the next trainer instead.)

I FORGOT ABOUT AXEW.

Aw, you adorable dinosaur creature you. I am so sorry I’m gonna murder you, yes I am. Such a perfect, flawless critter. Best Dragon line is best, no question. Haxorus even has an amazing shiny form. -pats Axew on its perfect head-

Okay, purchases. Potions. Balls. Need them.

Have them.

Okay, yeah. Journey free to continue.

Male Nidoran is a thing in this route. So is Girafarig. So are trainers.

?

Mother?

Why are you caring about your ten-year-old at this point in the story?

...Huh. And that’s literally all she calls to do. Neat.

There’s darker grass over the ways. Let’s see what I could have had if I had been slightly more smart about where I put my feet.

Hullo, it is a Staraptor.

That is such a damn badass bird.

Like, look at it.

Look at its soulless eyes.

Terrifying.

V cool.

Purrloin is also in the darker grass. And more Buizel. Back in the normal grass there is Ariados. I always had some degree of affection for that thing. No idea why. Never once used it, and I don’t like spiders. I guess it doesn’t have the right number of legs, so that makes it okay? Huh, there’s also a Durant.

...Did I enter a different area? I didn’t see anything to indicate that. There’s a Girafarig back again. Maybe it was just a percentage thing.

Ha. Yeah.

I don’t wanna go in.

A place I obviously should have come to long before.

I’m just going to run upstairs and dance around the graves until I find my next pokemon and trigger whatever’s necessary to let me battle the Gym Leader. Armed with the comforting knowledge that if any of my team dies, they will have a good, immediate resting spot.

I know I’m like the millionth person to point this out, but really. There are really trainer fights in a graveyard? Wherefore art thou respectless maggots.

Oh my gosh! You! You are a favorite thing! Hello!

...How the heck do I not kill you?

I think. I’m going to give Gelding a shot. Air Cutter isn’t too

.

..

...

No?

Gelding no. No no no no no no no.

Damn it. No.

To finish the thought above, Trapinch is Ground, so I was willing to chance Gelding’s high Attack against Air Cutter being kind of wimpy, and the type resistance killing STAB, and there was a risk regardless because of the levels and stats, but I thought Flying vs Ground wasn’t such a terrible thing to bet on, given the options, and.

Hell, now I’m sad.

Less meaningful things hanging out in the graveyard are Anorith Anorith and Anorith. Is it one species per level or am I just unlucky and growing sadder?

I picked up a Revive off the ground in a pokemon grave site.

That’s a yes on sadder.

Hey, so I’ve been seeing a lot of Swoobat lately that I haven’t screencapped, and that reminded me of something: I never went back to that cave, and I think there was more to it. It has one of the legendaries from this gen in its depths, I think, and I guess there isn’t much for me to do in it, but it’s weird to think there’s a place I didn’t really explore.

...Meanwhile.

Where is my bingo chart.

I don’t even know this thing’s typing. I think it’s from this gen, but it’s one of those that I maybe got from a GameStop event and never really looked at or used, and even that is foggy. My assumption would be Psychic just based on me shrugging and assigning Psychic to any legendary I’m not sure on.

Green could mean Grass, though. Wait, no it couldn’t. I used Flamethrower and it lived.

Fido’s setting a record for number of times it can hurt itself in confusion. Being put to SLP is practically a blessing, and I seriously need to switch before we see some legendary on legendary death action in the wrong direction.

Yeah, definitely Psychic. Batman is super effective against it.

So that was needlessly scary, and then on our way down the stairs to see the friendly nurse (this gen is so kind about healing stations and I love it), we run into a Dragonair.

I don’t think I could play a randomized version without Nuzlocke rules or something similar. I would go nuts training every single thing I loved to be a viable option. I’d be a hundred hours in and have four badges.

Plot?

To soothe the souls of our fallen friends.

Huh. This is kind of an empty detour. Skyla’s only up here to heal a pokemon off-screen, and then we ring a very pretty bell that gives me feelings that wouldn’t happen without the death clauses. It’s nice enough, but I could have sworn something a little more monumental went on. No?

Am I thinking of another memorial site? I think I might be... I think Golett is somewhere later in the map?

Maybe that’s what I’m thinking of.

I won’t complain about the free exp, this just felt like a bit of a non sequitor delay. Usually places like this turn out to be optional.

What are you doing on top of this tower. You are lunch for Palm and I appreciate that, but this is the opposite of your natural environment.

Palpitoad’s up here too. Palm is a lucky mushroom kangaroo this eve. His Attack stat will always make me sad, but his existence makes me happy.

The floor below the top has Muk in addition to the legendary song thing. So that’s neat. Actually wait, Frogger’s the only one not 40. Maybe I’ll let him beat up on the Muk.

Oh. He was closer than I thought. Anorith works too, I guess.

Every time I see a Trapinch I am going to feel just so sad.

So sad.

I don’t even know what I would have named her. But we would have been amazing together.

For now, though, it is Gym time.

It might not have aesthetic, but Skyla’s Gym is all about firing yourself through cannons repeatedly to find new opponents. Yes.

Ptera is going to be in the first spot. With Crunch in the place of Rock Throw (why did I do that again?), he only has Ancient Power for STAB + Super Effective, but he’s still overpowered as heck, and has a partial Rock typing, so he should be okay against other birds. I think most of my team can probably handle anything she throws out, though there will, of course, be the odd “wait it learns that?” moment. Hopefully nothing too catastrophic, but I do expect it.

It’s a bird. It’s a plane.

It’s a me.

Without the necessary syllables to make that reference fly home.

So, the cannon fodder seems to have early 30s for their squads. Ptera’s not having a problem with that, despite me using Acrobatics even though he has a Lucky Egg on him. Items and Acrobatics do not play well together. I’ll try to remember that before Skyla. It hasn’t mattered so far, but if it does matter, it’ll be against her.

Oki doki. Lucky Egg off, Ptera prepped. I was lazy and used a Potion for 12hp to top Ptera off instead of going back to the Center. It isn’t like I’ll have much use for standard Potions. It’s practically free healing.

Now then.

Let’s gooooo.

I can’t remember if I’ve commented on it yet, but the sprite for our protagonist just looks so serious this gen. It isn’t quite so noticeable when he’s on his own, but put him next to someone like Skyla and he brings Red to mind.

He is a little happier in the video chat things.

Maybe he just takes Gym fights seriously.

What a weirdo.

First up is a level 33 Swoobat, looking adorable. Yay for Crunch, and it is gone. Following that is a level 35 Swanna. I’m going to use Ancient Power and cross my fingers for that one. I was about to be happy with Crunch over Rock throw, but I really miss having a physical Rock attack.

One and done, last one up is a level 33 Unfezant. Ancient Power again?

Yes!

Another painless victory, another badge! Sweetness!

Skyla lets us go with a warning about seeing Team Plasma in the next city, but that is a thing for another day. Now is the time for basking in the glory of success and Pokemon Centers.

[crystalelemental]

I have gone on record as disliking Gen 6 overall, with XY being my least favorite games until USUM showed up and ruined a perfectly good story.  While most complaints against XY are due to the story being meh, and the ally characters being obnoxious, some of that dislike is in the dex.  There were very few new Pokemon, and a ton of returning Pokemon, which skews things.  Prior to this, most regions had repetition of older Pokemon, but there were enough new Pokemon around that the region felt distinct and unique.  Here, it...kinda doesn't, to me.  It really feels like there need to be more new Pokemon for it to feel entirely distinct.  Which is a shame, because overall it's a really solid dex.

TOP 15: 15) Carbink - Before Diancie, this was a really interesting Pokemon to me. A Rock/Fairy type that had obscene defenses, and had a carbuncle-like appearance?  I'm on board.  Unfortunately, it really doesn't have many tools to help it stand out at all, especially when Diancie arrived and out-performed it in virtually every task.  But it's still a precious child that I adore.

14) Espurr - Espurr is a lot cooler than its evolutions.  While the female form looks pretty nice, the male form isn't my favorite.  The evolutions also have the problem of, once again, the male gets the tools to be good while the female form is not.  Espurr itself, though, is an oddball that I adore. It's an unusual design, but plenty cute in its own right.  I just wish its evolution offered a bit more.

13) Spritzee - This was a Pokemon whose first appearance had me excited.  I really wanted to run a Spritzee, and I couldn't wait to catch one.  A little plague-doctor bird?  That's the coolest!  Unfortunately, its evolution sort of changed the focus to being heavily about perfume and fashion-based.  Aromatisse doesn't stand out to me nearly as much as Spritzee does, and it's kind of a shame.

12) Gogoat line - A lot of this has to do with my Nuzlock run of Y, where Gogoat was a sort of MVP.  For a mono-Grass, having Ground coverage is divine, and it brings a lot of that.  In-game, its stats are also pretty well-rounded, allowing for a lot of damage and recovery via Horn Leech, but also allows it to tank hits really well and retain an acceptable speed tier.  Gogoat is a ton of fun, and I kinda wish it had more tools for competitive play.

11) Dragalge - What an interesting design choice.  A dragon that's made to look like seaweed, hidden within the ocean.  I really love the idea behind that.   Dragon/Poison is also very unique, allowing it to be one of the few Dragons that not only resists Fairy, but hits it back for super-effective damage.  It's a Pokemon that shines in concept of design, and I appreciate that kind of uniqueness.

10) Heliolisk line - Helioptile was a certainty to me when I first played these games.  I knew full well I'd be running one, there was no question.  While Heliolisk is a bit more fierce than its adorable pre-evolution, it still presents as a sleek design that got a surprisingly wide amount of coverage, including Surf of all things.   It's also the weather master, benefiting from Sun, Rain, or Sandstorm depending on what condition you want to abuse.  It's a great Pokemon that I love to run.

9) Aurorus line - Beautiful.  This evolution line is absolutely beautiful, and I adore the aesthetic they offer.  They're a surprisingly downplayed fossil Pokemon as well.  While most tend to be a bit more intimidating, Aurorus is fairly passive-looking.  Its typing leaves a lot to be desired, as do its stats, but its design and presence more than make up for its lack of competitive viability.

8) Trevenant line - Trevenant, while not nearly as cool as Gourgeist, is still a very interesting Pokemon.  Phantump are the spirits of children who were lost in the woods, and Trevenant are the evolved forms that try to snatch children away when they wander in.  It's an interesting cycle of spirits.  Grass/Ghost is also a fun typing we hadn't seen before, and the moves it has access to allow for a fantastic support combo of Will-o-Wisp and Leech Seed.  It even gets Horn Leech and Harvest for even further healing potential.  Trevenant is a fantastic Pokemon that's a ton of fun to use.

7) Sylveon - Another eevee evolution, this time as the new Fairy type.  Sylveon is fun not just because of the usual eevee evolution reasons, but because of its bizarre ribbon feelers.  It's adorable and lovely, but like many fairies we'd get to know, has a bit of a creepy factor to it as well.  If there's anything it did wrong, it's steal everything that Umbreon did, barring Foul Play.  Which...I dunno, is Foul Play even still useful anymore?

6) Vivillon - Much like Staraptor in Gen 4, Vivillon is the best of the regional early-game bugs.  Its design is gorgeous, including a mechanic where its wings will take on an appearance based on location, and its stats, while still terrible, aren't bad for what it is.  Quiver Dance with Compoundeyes and Hurricane allow it to actually deal some real damage, and in-game, having access to Draining Kiss is very valuable, especially early game.  It's a fun Pokemon, and it's nice to have one entry to the early-game bug brigade that's standing out.

5) Florges - What a wonderful creature.  Florges is literally only held back by its lack of any good ability at all.  If it had any decent ability, and mild utility beyond the awful abilities it currently has, it would be unstoppable.   Its speed tier is in a good place for a supportive wall, special defense is so massive you don't even need to really invest in it, and special attack is in a good place for a Fairy that has such good natural coverage with STAB alone.  Plus it's just an elegant and beautiful Pokemon.  Fused with the flower it carried, its body effectively is the stalk of the flower, with a gathering of flowers around its neck.  I love its design, and I love its battle role, and if only they would give it a good ability it would truly be unstoppable.

4) Goodra line - I've talked before about how a lot of Dragon evolution lines are intense and intimidating.  Well, Goodra was something more like Flygon.  A little goofy, sure, but a good friend who is still powerful and a Dragon.  This also kinda began a trend, where a lot of dragons now are designed to be goofy, or at least losing the huge imposing figure or regal look that most before it had.  I, for one, love this adjustment into goofy nonsense being called a dragon.  Please continue to do this forever.

3) Delphox line - I love them all, but Braixen is a clear-cut winner.  I know this probably means I'm a furry, but it's the cutest thing, and the sass it exudes in this form is legendary.  Fennekin itself is just an adorable little fox, and Delphox is what Ninetales should've been: a Fire/Psychic fox.   It even gets to effectively be a witch!  The only downside is that Delphox loses a lot of personality when it evolves from Braixen, going from a sassy fox creature to a more downplayed and serious one.  This change is the only thing holding it back from being at the top.  But on the whole, it's an excellent evolutionary line.

2) Diancie - When its base form was revealed, I already loved it.  A mutation of Carbink that's pink and adorable?  What's not to love?  Then we got wind of stats.  Effectively the same as Carbink, but with way higher offensive presence. Maybe it could have more of a use in Trick room now!  But then, against all odds, we get the unprecedented: a mega evolution.  It suddenly becomes ridiculously fast and strong, and more gorgeous than ever.  Diancie is beautiful and wonderful and I adore everything about this wonderful creature.  It's even got a unique physical rock move that has a real accuracy stat, and a secondary effect that's to die for.  I love how, at the outset, Diancie was set to be the worst of the three mythic legends of gen 6, only to end up with a mega that ranked it easily the best.

1) Gourgeist - What an awesome Pokemon, in every regard.  Beautiful shiny, fantastic design, and a chilling concept.  It wraps prey in its hair arms and sings to them as it drains their life force.  That's terrifying and incredible.  It's also got four forms, including a really small baby child and a giant form as tall as a person.  Each form also has different stat allocations, with bigger forms gaining defense and attack but losing speed.  If there is any singular flaw, it's that it would really love to be specially offensive and make use of Giga Drain, Shadow Ball, and Flamethrower instead of relying on Seed Bomb and Phantom Force as the only real options it has.

BOTTOM 10: 10) Volcanion - I disliked it because it was so optimized, and had bar-none the best unique attack of the three mythical legends.  "Steve, it's the only who who didn't get an extra form and is ranked UU by usage, hasn't it suffered enough?" No.  It has not.

9) Dedenne - I'm generally not that big a fan of the regional rodents, and Dedenne is unfortunately a low-ranked one.  I can't explain it, I just don't really care for it.  Nothing about it stands out all that much aside from its Fairy typing, but after a while, a generation has to do more than rely on adding its newly introduced typing to things already in a formula to feel unique.

8) Pyroar - Something about it just doesn't grab me.  I can't even explain what it is, I just don't really care for the look of it.  Fire/Normal, while interesting, is far from good.  And it's another cat-based Pokemon that just does terribly in competitive. 

7) Hoopa-Unbound - Hoopa is cute.  I like it a lot, and Ghost/Psychic, while odd, is a fun typing that's pretty solid offensively.   Hoopa-Unbound, though... Psychic/Dark, while also good, doesn't feel as great, considering it has no resistances at all.  The change in design does work for it, in that you definitely get the feeling that Hoopa's true form is a monster of a genie that's been sealed away, but the loss of cuteness in favor of what I'm pretty sure is a JoJo Stand isn't as interesting to me.

6) Pangoro line - It's not bad, but it's just...definitely not my aesthetic, you know? I don't care for the punk-type.

5) Doublade - You remember Golbat?  How I disliked it strongly because it made no sense as the middle stage between two interesting end-points?   Same thing here.  From one sword, to two swords, to a sword and shield. How?  How did you do this?  That doesn't make any sense at all.  Get back here and make your full evolution line make sense!

4) Malamar - You'd think Dark/Psychic would be cool.  You'd also think Contrary Superpower would be cool.  Instead, Malamar is basically just a disappointment, with no resistances to anything at all, and no real presence.  Its design is sufficiently interesting, as a borderline eldritch horror, but doesn't quite pass into the territory where it's really creepy.  It's just...middle-of-the-road, in everything it does. 

3) Barbaracle - Its design does nothing for me, and its concept even less.  I really don't understand why it looks like that, and as another Water/Rock type, it faces a lot of competition from things that are more effective than it, and stronger than it.

2) Diggersby - Listen.  I know I've relied on disliking aesthetics to rank things in the bottom 10 for several other lists.  But you need to understand.  This is, quite possibly, the worst design I can think of.   ...second worst.  It's so bad.  It looks so, so bad.  Everything about this is bad.  Why did they make it like this? Between Diggersby being a drunken construction worker or some kind, and Lopunny being a pin-up bunny, I'm starting to wonder if there will ever be just a normal bunny Pokemon.  Maybe that's why I was so excited for the fake fire-starter rabbit...

1) Greninja - I have never felt such unfettered anger about one of the starters getting preferential treatment before.  Let's be honest, every gen does it. Charizard is the favorite of Gen 1, Feraligatr the favorite of gen 2, etc.  But it never hit as hard as it did this time, and if you ask me.  Maybe because nothing has ever been so blatant, or occurred at a time in which a started I loved more than any other was shafted.  Delphox has gotten nothing in its entire life, Chesnaught got a few nice tools but had to work hard for the position it has in life, and Greninja was handed optimized stats, a busted hidden ability that could easily be nerfed in a way that does nothing to Kecleon but stops Greninja from being stupid, and a ridiculous special snowflake extra ability that lets it be even more super fast and strong, and also we changed its priority multi-hit move, a statement which is already obscene, into a special move so it gets to benefit from its main offensive stat instead of having to choose its tools like the rest of the working class.  Fuck this bougie frog asshole, you've never earned anything in your entire damned life. I'm glad Alan won.

[bigklingy]

Pokemon Generation Thoughts

Since a blog I follow did this, I thought I’d do mine. Gen 1:

Pros: -The one that started it all. -How crazily into it kids at school were. -Gym Leaders were pretty memorable. -For the time, a good twist for the final battle. -Glitches are fun to mess with. -The crit formula based on base speed was actually kind of interesting. Cons: -Incredibly glitchy, to the point where speedrunners keep finding more and more insane ways to break the game. Spawning item balls that are also trainers that are actually wild Pokemon?! Making a sign give you an Eevee?! Beating the game in 0:00?!?! I know these are glitches you’re unlikely to find without intentionally trying, but there are MANY game-breaking ones you’re very likely to encounter by accident. -Very unbalanced battle system. Psychic types are broken, some moves were coded badly and worse than useless (Focus Energy QUARTERED your crit rate), X Accuracy + OHKOs destroys the game, Wrap/Fire Spin etc were extremely annoying. -Most of the Pokemon haven’t aged well stat-wise. Gen 2: Pros: -I liked the Johto region. -Greatly fixed a lot of Gen 1′s gameplay, far less glitches. -Split Special into Special Attack and Special Defense. -Introduced breeding. -Had another entire region for the postgame, with 8 more badges. -Normal trainers have names now! Phone numbers gave them a bit of personality. -You can actually delete HMs now! -You can catch both mascot legendaries regardless of your game. Cons: -Most of the new Pokemon are extremely mediocre or outright terrible, with very few good ones (stat-wise). -IMO, second worst starters in the series. Typhlosion’s stats are directly copied from Charizard, why?? -The “split path” after the 4th badge, where you could get the 5th, 6th and 7th badges in any order, was a good idea in theory but not well implemented. Whichever path you take last ends up horribly underleveled. -Low levels overall, leading to a fairly easy main story. -Kanto is horribly balanced, almost everything is a joke for the point you have access to it. -Until Crystal, phone calls were generic and boring. In all versions though, phone calls get very annoying. -Cross-gen trading is clunky and awkward, you had to manually delete any move that didn’t exist in Gen 1. -Introduced roaming legendaries. Gen 3: Pros: -Nice graphical upgrade. -Abilities, Natures and the revamped EV system add more strategy to battling. -Introduced a new way to play in Double Battles. -The Hoenn region is pretty nice if you ignore the water areas. Some cool new area concepts we haven’t seen before, like deserts and volcanoes. -Significant plot differences between versions now. -Emerald’s Battle Frontier is very fun. Cons: -Loss of compatibility with older versions, meaning that a huge number of old Pokemon weren’t available until Kanto remakes. -Hoenn in general went really crazy with required HM usage. WHY DID THEY MAKE ROCK SMASH AN HM! -Vanilla Ruby/Sapphire have the worst postgame in the entire series by far. (Just a Battle Tower and one roaming legend) Fixed in Emerald and slightly fixed in the remakes. -Team Magma and Aqua were lame and unmemorable. Fixed in the remakes. -Introduction of version-exclusive legendaries. -Champions excluded, Hoenn probably has the worst Elite Four in the series, with incredibly boring, repetitive teams. -Completing the national dex was insanely convoluted, as Pokemon were split up across multiple games and spinoffs. You needed at bare minimum 4 games, a Gamecube and a Gamecube to GBA cable to do it. Gen 4: Pros: -Physical/Special split, increasing the viability of a lot of Pokemon. -Introduced WiFi, making trading MUCH easier. -Expanded the TM list, allowing for more options. -Most of the new Pokemon introduced had good stats and movepools. My favourite new batch of Pokemon. -Gave much-needed evolutions to many mediocre old Pokemon. -The “route split” where you can choose whether to fight Maylene or Wake 3rd, was kind of well-done. -Best starters in the series imo. Cons: -Diamond and Pearl are PAINFULLY SLOW. Both on the field and in battle. Saving takes forever. Surfing is horrendous. Platinum fixed some of this though. -Diamond and Pearl’s regional dex is horrible. Only one Fire type besides the starters, some of the newly-introduced Pokemon aren’t even in the dex! -And they made some very questionable choices to go with it. Protip: if your regional dex only has two Fire type lines, you PROBABLY shouldn’t have a Fire type Elite Four member. -Team Galactic and Cyrus are my least favourite villains by far. Their plot is a giant mess and it’s not paced well. I could go into more detail, of all their encounters before the halfway point, only one has any bearing on their main goal. The rest are just random acts of villainy for no reason. The Grunts don’t even know what the bosses are planning. -Main story is badly paced, HUGE drought between badges 2 and 3 (fixed in Platinum), and the massive level jump between Gym 8 and the Elite 4 forces a ton of grinding right at the very end (also fixed in Platinum) -No random online battling. -GTS is a mess, only trade via online forums or chatrooms. -Worst Safari Zone in the series by far. -The snow routes are awful. Good music though. Gen 5: Pros: -The fresh start the series desperately needed. -A regional dex of all new Pokemon. -Most new Pokemon have VERY good stats. -Main adventure is very balanced overall. Pokemon are available at just the right times, for the most part (Larvesta and Deino are exceptions) -Introduction of exp scaling, making it hard to get too overleveled during the main story and letting you more easily train low-level Pokemon to Lv 50 in the postgame. -HMs, besides one forced use of Cut, are entirely optional. Thank Arceus. -Gym Leaders are decently challenging, and actually do things in the story. -Some of the best storylines and characters in a Pokemon game. -Awesome twist on the formula at the end. -BW2 are full sequels instead of 3rd versions. Add new areas.. -BW2 has the best balance of old vs new in a regional dex, with an almost exactly 50/50 split. Some old Pokemon are given fresh new spins, like Riolu and Eevee being catchable early in the game. -BW2 has probably the best postgame in the series. -PWT is an awesome callback and a pretty fun battle facility. -Battle Facilities in general stopped cheating as much as they used to. -Added Shiny Charm, giving a non-cosmetic reward for completing the Dex. Cons: -Competitive metagame was kind of a mess, Smogon had to make several complex bans to try and keep everything under control. Mostly only applies to Singles though. -Introduced random online battles, but Ragequitting was rampant. -Introduced Triple and Rotation Battles, but were very under-used and barely anyone plays them competitively. -Worst starters in the series imo. -The Unova region is very linear and, at least in BW1, a quarter of it is postgame-only. -BW2′s plot was far more standard for a Pokemon game. -Some of the new Pokemon evolve at painfully high levels, which got bad when they showed up earlier in later games. Gen 6:

Pros: -First full 3D main series game. -I kind of like Kalos as a region. -Added Fairy type, helping nerf Dragons. (Though they might have gone overboard, Fairy is now kind of overpowered) -The starters are pretty good. -Ruby/Sapphire remakes were nice. -Added tons of nice Quality-Of-Life features, especially making breeding and EV training WAY easier and more accessible. -WiFi is amazing, especially the PSS. -A lot of Pokemon available in the dex. -Sycamore is a cool professor. Shame he wasn’t the Champion. -You won’t know it if you use the Exp Share, but basic trainers are actually very challenging, often having smart movesets and strategies, even egg moves. Try a no-exp share run sometime. These are actually among the hardest Pokemon games if you do. -The postgame Looker quest actually has a better story than the main game.

Cons: -Game Freak did a total 180 on their stance with Gen 5, and decided Pokemon would now be all about the old rather than the new. The games began a trend of GF extensively pandering to Genwunners at the expense of actual new stuff. Very few new Pokemon, all of them almost intentionally made rare. It almost felt like GF was ASHAMED of them, and had to hide them from the wrath of the Genwunners. Other pandering included a direct rehash of Viridian Forest, Snorlax, and a forced first encounter with a Pidgey. Not a new Pokemon, a Pidgey. -Worst tutorials in the series. It’s possible to catch a full team of 6... AND THEN BE GIVEN THE CAPTURE TUTORIAL. -Way too many rivals. Tierno and Trevor are barely there, and Calem/Serena feels undeveloped. -Team Flare are my second least-favourite evil team. They shouldn’t have bothered trying to hide Lysandre as the villain, it was so obvious. -Early pacing issues. Big gap between Gyms 1 and 2 (could’ve easily been solved by making Clemont Leader 2), Team Flare plot doesn’t start until pretty late in. -Worst Champion in the entire series. -Most Gym Leaders and all the E4 not named Seibold are jokes. (XY are weird in that on a challenge run, you’ll be steamrolling the bosses but getting destroyed by basic trainers) -THE EXP SHARE IS HORRIFICALLY BROKEN. Have it on all game, and you’ll be overleveling everyone by 20-30. It ruins what would otherwise be a pretty challenging game. -Kalos Route 13 is the worst route in Pokemon history. -THEY BROUGHT BACK SINNOH’S STICKING MUD, WHY?! -Sky Battles and Inverse Battles are really underused for something they spent a lot of effort marketing. Neither can be done in multiplayer. Sky Battles limited to a bunch of one-time trainers, Inverse Battles limited to only one. Neither can be done in multiplayer. -Controversial opinion, but I actually really hate Super Training. The EVs/Time ratio is way too small to be worth it, horde battles are far better. I only use it to finish off the last couple of EVs on a spread. -Mega Evolution is a mixed bag. It makes some weaker Pokemon useful (Beedrill, Kangaskhan, Charizard), but also makes some already good Pokemon even better (Scizor, Metagross, Gengar, Lucario, SALAMENCE). This means a lot of the more interesting Mega options go unused because you can only have one Mega slot. Evidence of not just popularity power, but more Genwunner pandering is on display. I like Charizard and Mewtwo, but I don’t think they needed two Megas. And NO Gen 5 Megas at all, and even after ORAS only one? (And it’s terrible?) -No new non-Uber legendaries, instead re-using, you guessed it, the Gen 1 legendaries. Gen 7:

Pros: -NO MORE HMs, FINALLY! -More new Pokemon than Gen 6. Each new Pokemon is given at least one unique gameplay trait, which is cool. -Alola is a pretty nice region. -Story and characters are great. Not as good as BW but a big step up from XY. -Team Skull are hilarious, playing all the unintentionally funny things about past evil teams for intentional comedy, almost acting as a bit of self-aware parody. -Genwunner pandering is less evident. Yeah only Gen 1 Pokes got Alolan Forms, but most of them needed upgrades anyway. NPCs from all gens get cameos, not just Gen 1 NPCs. -The Big Bad of vanilla Sun/Moon is a great villain. -The Exp Share is actually kind of balanced now, oddly enough. -Some of the trials are great boss fights, even better than most Gyms. -Poke Pelago’s “EV Bake Oven” allows for easy EV training. Cons: -Went back on a lot of Gen 6′s good multiplayer features. Festival Plaza is confusing and terrible. -Removed horde battles, replacing them with the extremely annoying SOS Battles. This also means EV training is a lot harder. Poke Pelago is good, but it’s non-interactive. -The first island is very hand-holdy and takes a while. -Island 3 feels oddly small for how big it’s supposed to be. -Still not THAT many new Pokemon. -Crabrawler and Charjabug’s evolution methods are DUMB, making them useless for the main story despite being catchable early. -USUM ruined Sun/Moon’s Big Bad’s characterization. Overall favourite to least-favourite: Gen 5 Gen 2 Gen 7 Gen 3 Gen 1 Gen 6 Gen 4 (But my favourite for competitive battling)

[drdiandralp]

The Car of Tomorrow was not a Failure

Many NASCAR fans see the NextGen racecar as wiping away the last vestiges of the much-reviled Car of Tomorrow. But the CoT was far from a failure. You can bet your life -- or your favorite drivers's life -- on that.

B. C.(oT)

In the early 2000's, NASCAR was facing the same Big Three problems that face all of motorsports.

While they still face these challenges today, the situation was much more dire back then. They'd lost four drivers (Adam Petty, Kenny Irwin, Jr., Tony Roper and Dale Earnhardt) within a space of a year.A number of marquee drivers had retiredThey had a new broadcasting partnerThe series changed from lots of one- and two-car teams to fewer teams, each with four (or more) cars.Rules (e.g. a common roof line, a penalty for changing engines) were implements to keep teams from spending themselves out of existence. The series lost their sponsor of 33 years.Teams spent thousands of dollars in aerodynamics wars. They made make tiny tweaks to a car body to get a tiny edge. Remember the Twisted Sister? The car that prompted some to say it looked like it had been in an accident before it'd even gotten on the track?

The Car of Tomorrow, Yesterday

NASCAR wanted the Car of Tomorrow to satisfy all three issues: cost, safety and competition. Like most experiments, some results were better than expected, some were as expected and some were disappointing. NASCAR fans' dislike of change is legendary. When the CoT arrived on March 25th, 2007, people were predisposed to dislike it.

The most visible changes were a wing instead of a spoiler and a splitter instead of an air dam. The body shape was standardized, with minor modifications in the noses. The only way a casual fan could tell which manufacturer's car was which was to read the decal. Kyle Busch won the first CoT race, but he wasn't big on it, either. I’m still not a big fan of these things. I can’t stand to drive them, they suck.”Kyle Busch, after winning the first COT race.

Aerodynamics and Handling

The CoT was designed to help drivers maneuver better in traffic and to enable cars to pass each other -- a problem NASCAR is still dealing with in the NextGen car). The Body With limited skew allowed in the body, the CoT looked more like a production car than the twisted sister did; however, it didn't look like one of the sexier, sportier cars that has always been the model for racing. Manufacturers, unhappy with the lack of differentiation between makes, convinced NASCAR to specialize the Gen 6 car. Tony Stewart called it 'The Flying Brick' because it was big and boxy. Ideally, a team wouldn't need different cars for different tracks. However, teams quickly found areas they could exploit for different tracks, so they didn't end up making many fewer cars. The CoT was the first move toward having all teams adhere to a universal standard. The grey area decreased, but all teams understood the expectations. The Center of Gravity The CoT's center of gravity was much higher. That means more load transfer, poorer handling and more force on the right-side tires. The Wing There were concerns about the wing giving cars the propensity to go airborne at high speeds and high yaw angles. After trying different side-plate sizes and positions, NASCAR went back to a spoiler. The Splitter The splitter is a versatile, easily adjustable aerodynamic piece that provides front downforce. This piece enables NASCAR to do things like quickly develop a new short-track package. The initial design had braces that required a pit crew member to stick their hand between when cleaning the grille. A badly-timed pit exit could rip off someone's hand. I was glad when they changed the design. Tegris When NASCAR decided to use a splitter for the Car of Tomorrow, they had to decide what to make it out of. They needed something strong, durable, not super-expensive, and that wouldn't make a mess on track in an accident. They started with wood (not strong enough), looked at carbon fiber (too splintery and way too expensive), and ended up testing hundreds of materials. The winner was Tegris, a lightweight, stiff, durable polymer composite from Milliken & Company. They weave a polymer fiber into sheets (like carbon fiber) and then heat it under pressure to form a composite. The photo on the left, below, shows the material before and after consolidation. The finished composite has a woven pattern because it starts out as fabric. You can buy Tegris with plain, twill or herringbone weaves now. It's paintable, and you can get it in four colors: silver, coyote, tan and natural.

Tegris is almost as strong as carbon fiber, but at a significantly reduced price. The splitter has evolved over the years, but it is still made of Tegris.

Safety

It's sometimes hard to appreciate how innovative and successful the CoT was. Much like with social distancing, when something works perfectly, nothing happens. That there have been no deaths in NASCAR's top three series since 2001 is a direct result of the CoT. It's also a testament to the ingenuity and dedication of the people in the NASCAR R&D Center. The Chassis The CoT marked the first time NASCAR sent an AutoCad file to every team and said 'this is how you will build your chassis'. The design incorporated everything NASCAR had learned about safety from how welds should be made to where the driver sits.

Some of the under-appreciated elements of the CoT: The driver's seat moved away from the door, toward the center of the car.The drive shaft (a long, heavy piece of metal) was enclosed in a protective sleeve. This keeps it from becoming a projectile in an accidentThe greenhouse (the top area of the cockpit) became larger. The drivers had more room and easier egress in case of emergency.A reinforced greenhouse protected the driver in case of a rollover. Five bars on the driver's side door provided extra protection against T-bone hits. NASCAR's engineers made some modifications in response to specific accidents, like Kyle Busch breaking his leg at Daytona and Brad Keselowski fracturing his ankle during testing at Watkins Glen. But the CoT chassis remains remarkably robust, which is why it is the basis of the Gen-6 and the NextGen racecar. Impaxx Foam The CoT added even more protection against driver-door impacts by adding a foam made by Dow called IMPAXX. That's the blue stuff you see when a crash peels sheet metal off the door.

While IMPAXX is a foam, it's not squishy like, say, a foam pillow. It's rigid, like Styrofoam, but it's much stronger, while remaining lightweight. Styrofoam has to stand up to your USPS, UPS and FedEx delivery people. IMPAXX has to stand up to a 190-mph race car. Impaxx squishes when impacted. That squishing (which is really just the breaking of atomic-bonds) requires energy -- lots of energy. The basis of safety is that energy dissipated in the car doesn't reach the driver.

IMPAXX comes in different densities for different applications. It's now also used as roll-bar padding. In passenger vehicles, it's found in the headliner and also protects against side and lower-leg impacts. It's easy to shape and can be fabricated in panels that, like the door application, fit right into place on the chassis. Tegris (Again) The word 'Tegris' comes from the Latin 'You are Protected'. While Tegris came into NASCAR as the ideal splitter material, this material has many uses. Milliken promotes Tegris for any application requiring impact resistance, stiffness and light weight, which includes bullet-resistant materials, kayaks and suitcases. NASCAR put a slab of Tegris in the driver's side door to prevent cockpit intrusions. So in addition to giving the driver front downforce, this super material also gives him peace of mind.

A Completely Successful Experiment is a Bad Experiment

People like to compare anything new to 'putting a man on the moon', but there's a difference: We knew how to put men on the moon. The steps were hard, but we knew what they were. No motorsports sanctioning body has solved the passing problem or achieved the perfect balance of safety, competition and cost. The CoT was a bold step forward. Not everything worked, but you can't make incremental changes when you only design a new car every five or ten years. Part of drivers' hostility toward the car may have reflected how NASCAR operated, rather than the car itself. NASCAR is now more of a partner with teams, rather than a dictatorial body that demands everyone toe the line (or be fined). Very few things in the world are all good or all bad. I'm not sure why people feel they must take sides: You love something (or someone) or you absolutely despise it. That's not realistic, nor is it healthy. It'll be the same when we finally see the NextGen car on track. It would be great if it was perfect, but it probably won't be. Some elements will work better than expected, and some elements will disappoint. But it will be a step ahead, and that's all you can ask. I don't care how ugly someone might say a race car is. They all look pretty standing in Victory Lane.David Reutimann, via Ryan McGee Read the full article

[quality-chaos-and-other-qcs]

Just finished Shield

Aaaand now we have the news about the DLC stuff.  So, that’s a thing.

Some thoughts:

Positives

* Marnie is definitely the best of the ‘rival’ characters in this generation, both in terms of design and in terms of character.

* Sadly, that’s not because she’s a really excellent character- she’s alright, don’t get me wrong.  Just.... Bede is an arrogant jerk and.... that’s it.  Hop is an enthusiastic fool and.... that’s it.  There’s really not much character there.

* I like the variety in the gym leaders and other character designs.  It’s especially noteworthy that they’re definitely actual different ethnicities/phenotypes from one another- Kabu is clearly intended to be Japanese (Kantonian?  Whatever the equivalent in-universe is), Milo’s a big triangular goof, and off the top of my head I can’t recall seeing any characters in the Pokemon games ever who’re soft chubchub like Melony is.  The closest you get is the ‘middle-aged mom’ trainers from some of the earlier-gen games.

* THE WILD AREA OMFG

* Wow this game is British.  I don’t know if it’s just the translation or what, but it feels a lot more British than, for instance, the Unova region felt American or the Kalos region felt French.  Some of the pokemon really helped with this too.

* Corsola/Cursola.  Corsola has always been just a tad on the weak side to use reliably when you get to the late-game, so having an evolution for it is nice (even if it’s restricted to the Galrian version), and the relation to coral loss in the ocean works really well.

* Most of the Galarian variants in general, really.  Not only are there some really neat references but there are type-mix coverages and evolutions to things that needed them badly (cough farfetch’d cough) and so on.

* The ability to modify Natures and to Vitamin past 100 EP in a given stat.  The ability to play mostly casually but still be able to squeeze out some extra strength for battling with friends or overcome an unfortunate Nature or save a little time training Effort Values is great.

* HMs didn’t return.  I hope they never come back.  They never really bothered me too much- Surf, Strength, Fly, and to a lesser extent Rock Smash are all perfectly usable, Cut is alright as a backup move, though I have no use whatsoever for Flash, Defog, or Whirlpool- but it feels a lot better to have overworld use of PKMN moves be completely optional.

* Some of the visual design for the various areas is really great.  I loved the neon mushroom areas, for instance.

* Paid DLC rather than a third game or second set of games is a much, MUCH better way to go.  I think the only generation where it was really worth it was B/W, because it was a whole later storyline and you could do things like have the stuff you did in B/W affect B2/W2.  If you can’t do that level of development on the latter part of the generation, there’s no sense bothering with a whole extra game, nevermind two (looking at you, Ultra Sun/Ultra Moon).

* Camping and making curry is fun.  I’d really like to also have the ability to interact one-on-one like in the Sun/Moon generation, but it’s fun nevertheless.

* All the Max stuff- from the Gigantamaxes on down- is generally pretty great, with one major and one minor exception.  I even like most of the derpy forms because of the references (Long Meowth is long, gen1 sprite Pikachu....).

* A lot of the stuff for the DLC looks great.  Galarian Zapdos may become the third Legendary ever that I like the design enough to actually use (the first two being Articuno and Terrakion.)

* TMs and TRs.  I love this.  This is really good.  So many moves that can be taught via them.  Keep this forever please.

* Team Yell is not trying to take over the region/world/universe/etc., nor working with the Head Villain.  They just really really like Marnie.  I like this.  Maybe we can start adding more Teams, both non-villainous and villainous, maybe even make it a mechanic or something, I don’t know.  Team Yell aren’t as fun as Team Skull, but I don’t think there’s an organization in the PKMN world at all that is more fun than Team Skull... nobody else will ever be your boy Guzma.

Negatives

* You can’t turn off the EXP Share effect.  I get it, you don’t want people to have to grind, but this doesn’t feel really like it was thought through- I finished the game and some of my team members who’d been on team for the whole game had only fought in maybe twenty or twenty-five battles outside the E4/Champion battles.  I really, really hate the permanent EXP Share and I want the ability to turn it off.  Having it is fine, I don’t care if anyone else uses it or not, but I want to be able to not.  Please can I turn it off?

* The major Max exception- the assortment of NPC assistants for Max Raids is awful.  It’s kind of hilarious to see a Magikarp actually use Hydro Pump, but the NPCs who team up with you are generally just awful.  They never Dynamax even if you don’t Dynamax at all, their move pools are really crummy, a lot of them get wiped out in one shot by Gigantamax ‘mon, making it incredibly difficult to capture Gigantamaxes without several friends in the room with you, when they don’t get oneshot it’s often because they were carrying Focus Sash and for no other reason, you’ll often get horrible random selections (every time I fight a Dynamax ghost I get that guy with the Throh and he literally can’t do anything at all).... the Dynamax Raid battle ally selection just wasn’t sufficiently refined.  You can do better than this, come on.

* The minor Max exception- Gigantamax Charizard.  FFS, why?  I get it, Charizard is kinda popular because dragon and because way back when the TCG started it was a heavy bomb in any Fire deck, but.... it just really rubs me wrong.  It’s the only starter from any gen to get a Gigantamax, and the work being done on Gigantamaxing the Sword/Shield starters for DLC barely makes up for it.  I’m tired of Pikachu- especially the voice clip it uses for a cry- but I’ll live with it because Pikachu’s the mascot.  But I’m SO FUKKIN TIRED of Charizard and only Charizard getting extra bennies.  I think I’m starting to actually hate Charizard.

* There’s only one Wild Area, it only connects three actual locations (two hub cities and a train station), and most of the routes are virtually just straight lines.  Next time, just make the entire region Wild Area please.

* Some weather types (and therefore some ‘mon, both Galarian and not) are not available until completing the storyline.  I don’t like this, and it doesn’t make sense to do it.  Cut that out.  I’m fine with locking the time of day to the storyline outside of the Wild Area until the storyline is complete, but the weather locking is dumb and bad.  Don’t do that again.

* The story is..... uh..... How to put this.  If the stories of all the Pokemon games were breakfast, the story of this game would be a scrambled egg sandwich with soggy limp bacon and burnt eggs on white bread that wasn’t even toasted.  It’s not completely bland, but it’s really, really limp and hasn’t been made the right way.  Honestly, I found most of it outright annoying.  Hop’s alright, but he doesn’t do anything- doesn’t even have a vague attempt at a character arc- a lot of what should have been exciting events either took place offscreen, were horribly bland, or came so far out of left field with so little explanation that I mostly just went ‘oh okay I guess I’m doing this now until I can get back to trying to become champion.’

* Player trainer is customizable, but no moreso than in Sun/Moon (I think maybe even less so?)  Where are the body types, Game Freak?  Where are the long skirts?  The kilts? Long hair for boys? Varied hairstyles? Why are there only three bangs options?  Only three eyelashes options?  The selection here is pitiful.

* OH YEAH THE LIE ABOUT REDOING THE MODELS AND THAT BEING WHY POKEMON WERE BEING CUT

Overall.... eh.  I’d give it a 6, maybe 6.5 out of 10?  If anyone likes Pokemon and hasn’t got Sword or Shield yet, I’d say wait until it’s on sale.  It’s not a full-price Pokemon title right now, and with the pass for the DLC set at $30 American, the overall pricing is... not okay.

They really should have taken the extra time on it, instead of shoving it out this winter.

[hey-its-kay-streams]

Hey its Kay reviews Pokémon Shield

Hey, its Kay. Welcome to my unsolicited review of Pokémon Shield. Sword will be my upcoming LP. First, some background about me as a gamer and then, the set up for the review. 

I'm a casual gamer. I do this for fun and as stress relief. I've played Pokémon since Gen 1; Yellow was my first game. I've played every generation to come out since. Dexit was upsetting, but not a major game changer, I've actually expected it for years. The fact that they claimed we'd always be able to have all our Pokémon and now it seemed to no longer be true, was a little upsetting. I play for the story and being able to do cute things with my mons. Sometimes shinys, and I've never really been interested in competitive. 

The review will be in parts, including; Characters, plot, Pokémon, graphics, postgame, featurettes. Each section will get a score out of 10 and a (hopefully) short commentary. Full disclosure, haven't finished the game yet. 

Plot.

6.5/10. Shallower in some regards than expected, nothing revolutionary.

I have to say upfront, it feels like there was an attempt made. As a long time player, it feels weird to go through the region and… let the adults handle the side plot. Goodness, it was actually refreshing in a way, to know that there are capable people handling things for once. 

Would it be cool to see? Heck yeah. 

Would it be cool to experience the aftermath? Absolutely. 

Did any of that happen? No. Pokémon has hard primed me to expect incompetent authority figures and reluctantly be pulled into local shenanigans that I have to stop and/or clean up. Champion Leon handled the thing? Awesome. Go to the next gym? But, things are happening, right there!

If the League Challenge is the A plot, Local Shenanigans (usually evil team) are the B plot. Together, they have built an interesting story in past gens. This time, the B plot happens concurrently, as usual, but doesn't become a concern for MC until the very end, where it intersects the A plot. 

We essentially have half the content we got in previous gens, plot wise. It doesn't feel great. 

Characters. 

7/10. Promising start, weak follow through.

Again, I can clearly tell there was an attempt made. Because so many of the side characters are on the Protection Squad. (My children 🥺). Again, the execution was shallow but there was potential there.

Hop. FFS, someone put that child in counseling. There are very concerning signs literally all over his house. The house is practically a shrine to Leon. Hop has a worrying inferiority complex, but his character growth, while inadequate, is a start. 

Sonia. 1st off, where are her parents? Why does no one support her? I wanted to smack Magnolia. I still want to smack her. I want to smack an old lady for the way she treats her granddaughter. Another bleeping inferiority complex, not nearly as bad as Hop, thank goodness. She's intelligent and capable and I wish that since our B plot got washed, we got to experience her research in more depth. Research assistant assistant instead of preteen vigilante? I'm here for it.

Bede. (I'll pronounce it Beed, until further notice.) He's an annoying little punk who doesn't have a humble bone in his body and just… disappears part way through the story. I found battling him lackluster, but it could have just been a type advantage that left me feeling like he wasn't much challenge. Hop was more interesting to battle. Personality wise, he was desperate to prove himself in a way that felt different than Hop, his motivations were his own. It just promises a payoff we never get.

Marnie. I like her, in general. The only character I didn't feel the urge to wrap in blankets, give a mug of cocoa and sign up for therapy immediately. She's got moxie, determination and an admirable goal she's working toward. Even if Team Yell is more an annoyance than a challenge, their connection to her builds depth instead of taking it away. Marnie is reluctant of their presence, chastises them when they cause trouble but comes off as pretty fond of them. As a rival, Marnie tops the list in terms of challenge. Her Morpeko was more trouble than I expected of a pikaclone, tbh.

And, if her accent isn't straight up, level 2 cockney, I'll riot.

Leon. Eat, sleeps, breathes Pokémon battling. Has no sense of direction, which, relatable tbh. 100% would be babysat by my Pokémon, too. Competent, confident, other c words. Cares about Hop, surprisingly. I was surprised at not only his awareness of Hop's depression but also his concern. They are not portrayed as particularly close, for all that Hop idolizes Leon. Otherwise, Leon isn't much of a person; he's an image. A pretty one, especially in his postgame outfit, but not a lot of substance. 

Professor Magnolia. As of right now, she's on 'Can Catch These Hands' list. Not a good look.

Gym Leaders. An interesting bunch. Milo is too good for this world. Opal is a riot who has the worst taste, but I guess we all have flaws, she was on the more challenging side unexpectedly. Allister is smol, must protect. Raihan and Piers were also on the tough side. In fact, to date, I have not yet won against Raihan. Sent my Pokémon to work instead. 

Rose and Oleana. Rose is... not exactly wrong. He’s hyper focused on the big picture, missing the details that build it. He complains of others not understanding his vision but, when did he share it? He bears the burden of knowledge, the weight of his task but spurns the everyday person and their ignorance. He's power mad.

Oleana and her triangle mouth set back Women's Rights by at least 10 years, single handedly. 

Pokémon. 

7/10. Blurb.

A mixed bag. 1000000000% cannot pay me to revive any of the fossils, screw that. Will do tradebacks for my LP, do not want. I like the Galarian forms overall, except meowth. New Pokémon weren't exceptional overall but I was pleased to discover and learn about them. 

Graphics. 

6/10. Great for Pokémon, lackluster for Switch.

Self-contained within the Pokéverse, this is a beautiful game. 8.5/10. Doesn't surpass SuMo but no worse. The Wild Area is a glimpse of what could be, what trainers around the world hope to get one day soon. Very soon. What we hoped for this game, lbr. For a Switch game, it doesn't meet first party  standard. 5/10.

Character graphics, not impressed. Individuals get like maybe 3 poses/idles. Hop glaringly recycles Hau's animations. Mon animations lack life. Move and battle animations also desperately need some TLC. 

Cities are another letdown. Beautiful but shallow. Nothing to do, nothing to see. You get maybe 2 interactions with NPCs, if you're lucky.

Postgame. 

X/10. To be determined.

Still ain't beat the game yet but from what I know of it from friends and PokéTubers, it's like, the Battle Tower and a bit of intrigue about the Hero of Galar. From a casual perspective, I guess shiny hunting, once you earn the charm. I am hearing good things about the Battle Tower so I will give it a shot as is my norm. Hopefully it'll keep my interest this gen.

Featurettes. 

3/10. Lacking in substance.

Past gens have had a concurrent side gig since they introduced contests in gen 3. The Pokeathlon was my favorite, with PokeStar Studios coming second. I did as much of contests and battle royals that was required to move forward in the story. In Galar, they seem to have combined the pomp and in game popularity of side games with the gym challenge. While it does make sense, it thins the depth of the universe. Where are the activities for people who like training Pokémon but don't want to battle? The league cup is a big thing, sure, but the only thing? Lame. We don't even get much about the Minor League, other than its existence. 

When I first learned about Max Raid Battles, I, like many others, immediately thought of Pokémon Go. I actually play fairly regularly. What I don’t do regularly are raids above level 2. Those require people. I ain’t about that life. SwSh solves that by providing NPCs if you can’t get other players but… they are Pokémon NPCs. 

No catch contests, no puzzles, no secrets, nowhere to walk with your mons, no legendaries. No arbitrary (re)quests from NPCs. I like the Rotom Rally, if only as a GPS because the wild area can be hard to navigate, and I have no sense of direction.

The currydex is more complicated than it needed to be. In consideration with the rest of the game, I think of all the content and plot we could have had, but we got curry. That requires way too many berries, I never want to shake another bleeping berry tree again. 

If you stuck around this long, thanks. This is the end. Overall, I enjoyed the game and look forward to my Sword LP, coming soonish.