#GUESS WHO GETS ANGST LORE

[1agogo]

🎶 Harpy Hare where have you🎶

🎶Buried all your children 🎶

🎶Tell me so I say 🎶

[zuntoshere]

The yellow flower is Fit, fyi.

[montanamp3]

34?

what i find attractive in women:

[JESUS AIMS A SNIPER RIFLE AT THE BACK OF MY HEAD]

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐎𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫 | Attachment

There's something growing between the two of you- or are you simply growing closer?

Tags/Warnings: Aged up!Jungkook, Younger!Reader, Age Gap (9 years, JK is mentioned to be 34/35), Angst, Mature romance, Jungkook's ex wife, mentions of past physical abuse, mentions of alcohol abuse, fluff, flirty Jungkook, fluff!!, reader is a bit jumpy, some more lore, smut, slow sex, position changes, mentioned round two, some angy jungkook (but not at reader), some angst in the end but it's all resolved dw

Length: 7.2k words

There is no taglist for this fic.

-> Masterlist

A/N: I did not proofread this I'm sorry

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"Do you even know where we're going?" Jungkook worries, sitting next to you on the subway, but you just shrug.

"I know how to get back though, that's more important." You simply say, making him even more nervous.

Jungkook isn't used to giving up control like this. He's not used to being spontaneous and just doing things out of the blue because you feel like it. Things have to be structured, planned out and with a Plan B to go with it in case something goes wrong. He's an overthinker, and it shows, as he keeps looking around and asking.

"Just relax. There's a park nearby that I wanna go to. We can get some food close by and just eat it there." You say, and he sighs.

"I'm sorry." He admits, leaning back into the seat to try and relax more.

"Its alright. Most people panic whenever I talk about trips I take." You laugh.

"Do you travel a lot?" He asks, and you shrug.

"Used to. But.. he was more of a homebody. Didn't like staying at hotels." You explain, watching the scenery pass by next to you outside the window. "He kind of ruined it for me because he'd just.. continuously point out flaws in everything." You say, and Jungkook listens quietly. "Flaws that I'd.. overlook most of the time, because, nothing's ever perfect anyways, so why focus on that all the time?" You giggle, looking at him now.

"I'd disagree, but also agree." He chuckles. "There can be perfect things. It's just a matter of perspective, and how it's perceived by someone." He offers. "What's perfect to one might not be for another." Jungkook explains, and you nod.

"Thats the more.. complicated way of explaining it, I guess." You joke.

"I tend to overcomplicate things." He bashfully agrees, making you lean into him, resting your head against his shoulder.

"You'll.. tell me when I get too much, right?" You ask quietly, and he nods, arm wrapping around you as if to reassure.

"I will, don't worry." He reassures you, before he moves to pull your hand up to kiss the back for it-

A gesture that makes you blush, especially from the people around you fawning over it as well.

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He's caught off guard when you walk around in nothing but underwear, visibly unbothered by him seeing you like this.

"Do you.. want to join me?" You ask. "The tub is a bit small but..?" You question, looking over your shoulder at him, who looks oddly unsure. Considering you both have had sex twice now- or more so once, really, it's odd to think that he's like this now. Is it because the nature of your.. whatever it is, has changed?

You're no longer just strangers without any connection. There's something deeper now growing. And maybe that's what's putting him under pressure.

"If you'd like me to." He shrugs.

"Only if you want." You say. "I won't be upset if you say no. I'm a big girl, I can handle rejection." You giggle, and he chuckles as well, smile a bit less tense as before.

"I'm sure you can." He agrees. "Though I'd be stupid to reject." He jokes, getting up to walk closer to you.

"Or simply cautious." You shrug. "Nothing wrong with that." You remind him, but he simply nods, and follows you into the bathroom. The water is streaming in, hot, soap bubbling up. Jungkook watches how you easily shed your last items of clothing before you sink into the water, and he does the same now, revealing himself bare to join you in the barely big enough tub behind you.

You're comfortably leaning against his front, very obviously not shy about this at all- and in a way, oddly enough, it seems to rub off on him, as he feels himself relax with you so close. "I want to move into an apartment with a bathtub one day." You giggle randomly.

"Does yours not have one?" He asks, and you shake your head.

"No, it's too small for one." You deny. "Does yours?" You ask, and he hums his answer.

"It.. I have both. One guest bathroom with a shower. The main one has a tub." He explains to you. "Maybe.. you could come over someday. See it for yourself." Jungkook chuckles.

"Hm. Maybe. When you want me to." You say.

"I do want you to-" He starts, feeling like he needs to argue- though he's not sure what about.

"I know, but you also don't, and that's fine." You laugh. "I.. you know, I kind of get the vibe from you that.." you start, but drift off.

"..that?" He softly urges, hands now moving underneath the water to find yours to hold.

"..that you're not used to.. you know. People asking for permission. Or just.. I don't know." You shrug. "You're always so surprised whenever I do nothing but simply take your feelings into account. You seem so caught off guard whenever I ask you if you're okay with things." You tell him, and his eyes stare at the slowly disappearing soapy bubbles on the water surface as he begins to think.

It's true that it's not common. He's the man- always has been one, and with that always came the burden of decisions. Evelyn always took the things he did for granted- saw it as something natural. The fact that he provided her with a place to stay, money and security was just a given to her, and so was the fact that whenever she decided where to go for dinner, or what to do on his days off. He always drove her to her appointments, always had to please her, treat her right, because that's always been his role to play.

So, you're right. He's not used to being given a choice, asked for permission, or questioned whether or not he was okay with something. And it's become so normal for him, that he truly believed that that was how things had to be like-

and maybe that's also why he was so hesitant with you. Why he still hesitates.

What if he does something wrong? What if he decides something you don't like? What if he's not what you want him to be?

You want him to be himself. But he's not sure he even knows how to be himself anymore.

"You should.. be more selfish, you know?" You say, voice echoing off the walls a little as you move around in the water. "Then I won't feel so bad every time I want to ask you to do something for me." You laugh, joking- but he catches the hidden words.

"You can ask anything of me." He chuckles. "Trust me, I can make decisions just fine." He reassures you, placing his hands on your shoulders.

"I'm not doubting that!" You laugh. "But just- You're.. really nice, and I'm kind of scared I'll screw this up." You sigh, trying to sit up and lean away from him- but he holds you towards him, keeping you close.

"There's no 'screwing up' for either of us. We might not work out for reasons, but I doubt we'll really.. screw up like you say." He offers kindly. "I kind of.. just want to be with you for the next few days. Nothing more, nothing less."

"In what way?" You almost whisper, and he chuckles against your skin, pressing a kiss to your bare shoulder.

"In whatever way you'd like." He hums against your skin, hands traveling up and down the length of your arms.

"What way would you like?" You ask, and he leans his head a little to rest his face in the crook of your neck.

"Right now.. exactly this." He sighs out. "I'm enjoying this a lot." He reveals, and at that, you lean back into him, and you can feel the way his lips twist into a smile against your skin.

"Is.. what made you fall in love with uhm.. Evelyn was it, right?" You ask, and he nods.

"I'm not sure." He admits. "She was pretty. She liked me, or at least that's what she told me- asked me out one night, and I just said yes because why not?" He shrugs, water sloshing around a bit at that movement. "I didn't.. have much interest in her back then, but I felt like it could just.. grow down the line."

"I mean, she's still pretty from what I could tell." You giggle, though he shakes his head. "No?" You wonder, and again, he shakes.

"Not anymore." He denies. Maybe conventionally attractive. Physically." Jungkook sighs. "But inside, she's just.. ugly."

You nod at that. You understand what he means.

"What about Greg?" He wonders, since the situation seems as good as ever to gain some more information on the guy he's never even seen before.

"He was.. or, you know, isn't as tall as you. A bit shorter. Uhm.. harsher facial features." You remember. "He always looked a little intimidating to me. But I thought it was just appearance. He used to be really nice to me, you know?" You explain, before you sigh. "But.. I don't know. Over time, after we started living together, it just went downhill." You explain to the man currently holding you. "There were warning signs before, sure- but I thought he was just stressed."

Jungkook listens, and makes sure you know that he is doing it- though he also provides some slight physical comfort as well.

"I should've left when he started to yell at me. Insult me, you know? But I didn't. I thought, if I was nice enough.." You stare at the bubbles slowly dissolving. "..I thought it would be okay."

"You were in love." He reassures you. "And we do stupid things when we're in love." Jungkook admits, making you nod as you lift your head a little to look at him.

Finally realizing that while his situation might not have been the same-

he still understands. More than anyone else.

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The next day starts rather.. interesting to him.  

He's wondering how long it'll take for you to snap- because he's noticed that some of his habits and behaviours are clearly getting onto your nerves. But he's not hiding any of it away- you need to face the truth after all, that he's no angel, and no perfect man without any flaws. He's not sugarcoating things- but you are. And he's waiting for you to drop that façade.  

You're never truly relaxing. You act like you are- but he knows you're not.  

Meanwhile he's just himself, even exaggerates some of what he knows are his nasty habits- and you're just quietly stepping over his pants thrown in the middle of the floor in the hotel room, though he notices the way your eyes cling to them for a good second. And when you actually trip over them on your way out, it's when you finally decide to speak up. "Jungkook?" You ask, and he hums, lifting his head from his phone to look at you. "Can you.. could you maybe try and I don't know.. put your clothes in one place only?" You ask, meekly, and that's when he notices something important. When he realizes something. 

You seem awfully.. wary saying that. Almost fearful.  

Oh. 

"Of course." He nods, getting up to put them away- and your reaction to that, is that just instantly fall into apologizing for your words- as if what you said could've insulted him in some way.  

"It's just that you could lose something you know?" You hum, wringing your hands anxiously. "And maybe you trip too and-" 

"It's fine, really." Jungkook reassures you after dropping his pants and shirt that's been laying around in his still opened travel bag, now turning towards you. "Come here." He sighs, and you do, walking close to him until he pulls you in and hugs you. "I'm not mad." He offers, and from the way you tense up, he realizes he's hit the nail on the head. "I'll never be mad- never like that. I can promise you that much."  

"I'm sorry." You apologize. "I know you're not like that-"  

"But it's a habit, I get it." He offers, before he lets you go to look at you properly. "I can imagine why you feel like you have to apologize right now- but there's no need to pacify me." He tells you. “I’m not angry.” 

"I know. I'm sorry- I never thought you were like that either." You sigh.  

“Small steps.” He chuckles. “We’ve got time.” he reassures. “Let’s go out and see if we can find a restaurant we want to eat at, hm? Something casual.” He teases lightly, making you nod.  

Just like he said- it’s a habit.  

You’re so used to having to justify your actions, having to apologize for everything, having to just suck it up and get over it that it’ll be probably a long road until you’re truly free again. Does he want to deal with that? Maybe not, maybe he’s just too nice to say it right now because you’re..  well, stuck together in this hotel on this trip together for a few more days to come, since he ended up making an entire week out of the three day trip. Maybe he just doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable,  because he’s just a nice guy like that.  

“Hey.” He rips you out of your thoughts. “let’s order room service instead.” He offers, and you’re confused.  

“But you wanted to eat out?” You wonder. “and.. we’re wasting an entire day by staying inside-“  

“We’re not wasting anything.” He chuckles. “I went on this trip with you to spend time with you. Which is what I’m doing right now.” He offers you, pulling your hands to have you close as he sits on the edge of the bed you both share. “you’re getting stressed. Tell me how I can help you.” He asks gently, as you sit on his thighs, unsure.  

You don’t know why you’re so on edge today. You can’t turn it off.  

“it just feels like.. any second now, something might happen.” You sigh, playing with the buttons on his shirt. “I’m not used to things being so.. okay.”  

“I understand that.” He nods. “you’ll get used to it in the future, I promise.” Jungkook makes sure to tell you, before he takes your hands again. “can I.. ask you something? And please don’t.. I’m not going to say the things I’ll say because something is  wrong with you or anything.” He says, and you nod for him to go on. “have you considered.. talking to someone about your past experiences? Someone professional?” He wonders, but you shake your head.  

“I feel like.. it wasn’t bad enough to really go to therapy for it. Lots of people go through tough times like that, and they manage just fine.” You shrug. “I’m just being dramatic about it. Like you said, I’ll get used to it with time.” You defend yourself by instinct.  

“You’ve been through something traumatic. There’s no.. threshold of how bad something needs to be to be able to seek out help.” He explains with a gentle tone of voice. “I’m not going to force you, obviously. But just so you know, your pain isn’t invalid just because others had it worse.” He says. “Think about it, at some point. Doesn’t have to be right now.”  

“I’ll.. keep it in mind.” You nod. “thank you.” You offer him, and he nods as well.  

“Nothing to thank me for.” 

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Jungkook is agitated.  

He’s been silent for a bit now, desperately searching for a spot to charge the electric rental car at- but all he finds are either in use or out of order. It’s raining too, meaning there’s not really anything you both could do other than just drive back to the hotel- but this charging spot has to work now, or the car won’t make it back.  

Everything is just going wrong.  

From the restaurant reservation somehow getting mixed up, to his phone constantly ringing because people won’t let him have his days off- poor device slipping out his hand at some point as he’d wanted to take it out the pocket of his pants, clattering to the ground, screen cracked in several places. Then, he’s informed of something urgent at work- he’s needed back earlier than he wanted to take time off for, meaning you’ll have to pack your things tonight already to fly back home by tomorrow morning.  

And now, as he gets out wordlessly to take the charger from the station, he reaches his breaking point.  

“fucking hell!” He barks out as he’s back inside the car, hand hitting the steering wheel once as the car denies any further distance. And he’s got tunnel vision too- not noticing the way you instinctively flinch next to him.  

But it’s just a habit of your body. Your mind knows that Jungkook’s anger doesn’t work like you’re used to.  

He’s on the phone, talking to a coworker when you take the chance to undo your seatbelt, before you open the door. His hand reaches out, softly holding your coat to send you an confused glance- worried even that he might’ve caused you distress. But you  give him a smile in return, and get out to walk into the gas station, finding an employee.  

“Sorry- I was just wondering.. the charging station outside doesn’t seem to work?” You ask, and the man behind the counter nods.  

“Oh? Yeah it does it sometimes. Let me come check it, it’ll probably just need a restart.” The man shrugs, taking some keys with him before he walks back out with you trailing after him. “Ah yeah, stupid thing got a little crazy again. Go sit inside though, you’ll catch a cold!” He laughs, waving you towards the car standing in front of the little station. “let me know when it starts charging.”  

You instead walk to open the trunk however, fetching an umbrella instead to hold over the man’s head- something he laughs at but thanks you for either way as he taps around on the panel.  

Jungkook watches from inside, using this moment to calm down again.  

He didn’t think at all. Did he scare you? Probably, considering he can be quite scary to other people as well if he gets frustrated like this. He hates how things like these just bubble beneath his skin all day until it boils over- especially considering that he’s been so eager to make sure that you know he’s not one to get angry easily. And yet here he is, having just yelled at a car for not working.  

Maybe he’s not the right person for you after all. You need someone calm and collected, not someone like him.  

Suddenly, the car chimes up, telling him it’s finally starting to charge- and outside, you’re thanking the man with the thick grey beard with a grateful smile, one he returns just as warmly before he walks back into the gas station with you. And when you emerge back out, you’re holding two cups of coffee to go- rain soaking your hair as you hold the closed umbrella beneath your arm.  

Inside the car again, you offer one of the cups towards him as if nothing happened. “I didn’t know if.. you liked sugar or creamer with yours.” You say. “so I brought some of both.” You say, putting the little packages of sugar and creamer on the mid console- where his hand suddenly finds yours, silver rings catching your attention for a second.  

“I’m sorry for earlier.” He apologizes, fingers tracing your cooled down hand that holds your own cup of hot liquid. “I didn’t mean to get so riled up.”  

“You’re stressed.” You shrug. “Its understandable. Just.. maybe take a moment to calm down right now?” You offer, and he nods, a soft smile on his lips.  

“thank you.” He says, before you nod and reach for the sugar packages to dump some into what he realizes is tea.  

“The car is really quiet when it drives.” You say, and he nods, taking a sip from his coffee.  

“It makes no sound.” He confirms. “the most you hear.. are really just the wheels on the road. The engine isn’t  loud at all.” He explains.  

“so when we drive fast it’s not the engine getting louder?” You ask, and he shakes his head.  

“No. It’s all just friction, and the air passing over the car.” He tells you.  

“Its kind of funny how far we’ve come.” You say, slipping out of your shoes to get comfortable in your seat, rain falling onto the roof of the car. “like, we have cars that we can just.. charge like phones. It feels weird.” You giggle, resting your head against the seat, while your back leans against the door.  

“Do you have a driver’s license?” He asks, and you shake your head.  

“I’m too scared to drive.” You deny. “I couldn’t handle memorizing all the rules and keeping them in mind at all times. I rather.. like being the passenger.” You nod. “you drive really well. I’d sleep if we went on a road trip.” You say, and he smiles.  

“I take that as a compliment.” He tells you, and you nod.  

“It was meant to be one.” You affirm. “earlier.. it was funny.” You say, suddenly not looking at anything- and he knows what you mean by ‘earlier’. “it’s like.. my body still reacts the same, but my head knows there’s no danger.” You explain. “they’re.. detached, in a way.”  

“I’m really sorry I lashed out like that.” He apologizes again.  

“don’t be.” You shake your head. “I need to face those situations too. There’s..  no use in wrapping me in bubble wrap. After all, you wanted to see if I can handle you, right?” You ask, and he nods. “See? I think my mind can. My body might not to some degree.”  

“we can work on that.” He gently offers. “your.. body will learn too. I want you to heal with me.” He says, and you nod.  

“I want that too.” You say. “I want you to heal with me too, even if all I can offer is just.. well, nothing.” You laugh, but he shakes his head.  

“You offer me this.” He explains, eyes watching you as his hand reaches out to tuck some of your hair behind your ear. “you offer me a break. A.. moment to calm down, like you said.” He reminds you of your words.  

“if that’s what you need, I can be just that.” You say, and he nods.  

“I couldn’t ask for more.” 

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You’re late, but he can’t bring himself to care. 

He’d told himself to wait and not really indulge in any of this as long as you both don’t really know for sure where you want to take this- but you’re like a drug he can’t help but fall back on, a habit he can’t shake off. And it all happened so naturally, no words spoken as you both simply understood what the other was craving.  

Right now, everything is slow. You’re not even really undressed, him having kicked off his underwear beneath the covers, having had to somewhat get up and pull his travel bag closer to find a condom in there he had packed just in case, even though he did not plan for this.

It should have been his moment of realization. But he just couldn’t hold himself back after the lazy, but warm and almost comforting foreplay you two had indulged in after just having woken up, barely conscious.  

Your shirt is simply pushed up to reveal your naked skin beneath, and his hands are slow as they tug your underwear down your legs, sticky with your arousal from the earlier pleasure he’d brought you with nothing but his hand. You’re so warm from sleeping so close to him underneath the blanket you shared, eyes closed as you enjoy his offering of affection to you, kissing up your neck as he positions himself above you.  

There’s still no need for words. And he also fears that any sentence uttered by him could shatter this delicate moment between the two of you.  

Even though you should’ve woken up an hour ago, making you terribly late now, he just has to have this right now. It’s not just sex, and he hopes it’s not just that to you either- because this feels like a soft confession that’s not done in words, but actions instead. You really do offer him a feeling of weightlessness, as if time doesn’t exist, and no one expects anything of him. You just take him as he is, no questions asked.  

Maybe you’re this timeless because it doesn’t matter to you yet, considering the difference in age between you two. Should he feel bad about it then?  

Possibly. But then again, just like he’s using you to escape his own responsibilities and the pressure of his life, you’re using him just as much for a stable person to hold onto and rely on. And he’s fine with that. A good, healthy relationship should always have a balanced exchange. Give and take in equal amounts. Will this all become a problem in the future? Will you one day realize that he’s not able to offer you all the experiences you should have made in your twenties?  

Maybe. But even so, he realizes you’re right. It still wouldn’t be wasted time, if it’s spent with you.  

So what if he has to book and pay for another flight because you’ll surely miss the one he chose last night? He really couldn’t care less, because there’s no way he’s going to rush this. It’s the first chance at proper sex with you, finally a moment where he can give you actual attention as you deserve, not some quick fuck in the car or random blowjob on your couch. This isn’t just to satisfy your urges.  

This is a chance for him to show you love. 

And it’s clear that this is new to you- because you’re restless, as if you’re constantly expecting him to change pace, go faster, begin to rush towards his own pleasure. But he doesn’t, because that’s not his goal at all. His actual goal is to somewhat prove a point to you- that what he’s offering is not what you’re used to, in no way. He doesn’t see you as someone replaceable, someone who just has to be there, who has to listen to his every demand and do exactly as he says.  

No- he wants you to be yourself. He wants you to gain back that autonomy you rightfully deserve.  

Because one of the biggest things he noticed is how you constantly seem to live in a state of trying to pacify him at all times. As if you have to make sure he’s always happy and content with decisions made and words said, and he wonders just how bad your past relationship must’ve been to cause you to develop such behavior. So right now, he’s attempting to show you that he’s quite honestly the most calm around you anyways, even if you don’t do anything at all but exist alongside him.  

That’s enough already. He doesn’t need anything special from you, but yourself.  

Do you feel it? The way he’s pushing himself inside you isn’t an act of pure lust, but an attempt to connect with you, oddly enough. Jungkook has never seen sex as just that- but he has to admit that with Evelyn, the act had lost it’s appeal to him over time, mostly because he both knew that she was seeking out other people’s company aside from his own, and also because it just felt empty and unfulfilling to him. There was nothing to be gained from it, not for him at least- it only made him feel dirty and used, and towards the end of his relationship with her, he couldn’t bare to really let her touch him any longer. 

No matter what intention she had.  

But right now, with you, he’s feeling something- an urge he’s not felt in a long time, an excitement for possibilities and an eagerness to explore. And right now, he wants to take his time, watch you squirm beneath him, maybe even push you towards the limit of your patience. Will you beg?  

Why does that sound so arousing to him?  

He’s curious to know what you enjoy, what you want to explore, what you think about when you feel that specific need. He wants to ask what it was like before, has so many questions- but he also doesn’t want to speak right now, feels like this is neither the place nor perfect time to have a conversation like this. So instead, he just does what feels right- 

And judging by the way you sigh and reach out to touch him as well, it appears to be exactly what you like as well.  

Though he can also spot that impatience of yours growing, his smile not possible to be hidden as he rests his forehead in the crook of your neck, simply enjoying the closeness of it all as his hands run up and down over your body, exploring what he’s already seen before by now. But it doesn’t get old, doesn’t get boring- it never will be, most likely. He doesn’t know how long this will last, how long you’ll stay with him, or how long he’ll stay with you- but he wouldn’t mind to have you at his side long term, he knows that much.  

Or at least, he wants to try and make this permanent. 

Your legs wrap around his waist, clearly a sign of your dissatisfaction with the way he only occasionally actually moves, if anything, this all could count more as cockwarming than anything else. And now’s the time he has to break his silence, as he chuckles against your skin, placing faint barely felt kisses against the side of your neck. “What’s wrong, darling?” He purrs almost, while your hands move to rest on his shoulders.  

“Move.!” You complain, and he loves the demand so much. Not because he wants to go faster, but because you demand anything at all- something you should do more often. Maybe this is his way to go, moving forward. Maybe he could fuck some confidence into you.  

He surely wouldn’t mind doing it that way.  

“I am moving.” He teases, his low tone still raspy from lack of use during sleep causing your core to clench around him.  

“Our flight..” You mumble, fingers running over the back of his neck, causing him to involuntarily shiver.  

“I’ll book a different one later.” He denies, adjusting his position a little, pressing himelf as deep as he can inside you, leaning back to have his hands on your thighs, fingers running over the warm skin.  

“But that’s wasted money..” You say, unable to really resist his touch however, your arguing weak in nature and delivery. “And you’re needed back at work..”  

“I’m needed here, right now.” He instead teases, using your legs to pull you closer, slowly starting to thrust, your chest swaying alongside the pace he sets. “By someone I find way more important than work.”  

“But-” You start, but he decides to play dirty now, delivering a particularly hard thrust to shut you up or at least give him the chance to speak before you can finish your sentence.  

“You’re important.” He simply chuckles. “Right now, and afterwards, too.” He makes sure to tell you, before he leans over again, faces close. “Can I kiss you?” He wonders, eyes falling to your lips for just a second. “You can say no. I won’t be upset at it.”  

But you nod. “I want you to.” You say, for a second questioning if your words might’ve been too demanding- but it doesn’t appear to be the case, as he leans in to catch your lips, first kiss between you both passionate and warm- not hot, nowhere near burning. It’s like a promise, a silent gesture of devotion from him, an offering of his to show that he’s actually taking this seriously. 

He’s in it now. This is no longer just playing around.  

He’s not going to tell you he loves you- because he’s not there yet, and he knows neither are you. But he truly believes that these feelings can grow if he nurtures them well, and if you accept them and let him plant them in your heart. He wants the vines of what might grow to connect you both, because that’s what you both deserve.  

He knows his own worth. And he wants you to know yours, too.  

His lip piercings are a little foreign, but in a way, they make it a unique experience to you. Or maybe it’s the sincerity he has in his actions, the way he treats you, the fact that he pays so much attention to you as well during this whole thing. You’re not used to this. He doesn’t seem to expect anything of you, and it makes you a bit anxious.  

But even that, he notices.  

“Let go, darling.” He chuckles against your lips, barely apart from you. “I’ll take care of you.” 

“But shouldn’t you be taken care of too?” You worry, and he just smiles.  

“This is more than enough for me, trust me.” Jungkook responds, moving a bit faster now. “I just want you.” He tells you, and you're sure he doesn’t know the weight of that statement. 

Or how long you’ve waited for someone to say it like that. 

Because even though it’s said right now, during the act, but it’s not actually sexually charged. It’s not said in the context of ‘I want you right now’- but it’s more generalized. He wants you.. In general. Not just in this moment, or for this specific action.  

So when you simply trust yourself in the heat of the moment, turning the tables or more so positions, you feel a strange sense of confidence as you now ride him, his hands on your hips taken by yours, fingers intertwining while he watches you for a moment, clearly fighting the urge to just relax and close his eyes, sight of you too pretty to miss. But he can’t help it, leans his head back into the pillows with a lazy smirk on his lips, pulling you closer to wrap his arms around you, slow pace all you both need as you push each other over the edge, coming undone at different times- but still, that doesn’t make the moment any less meaningful.  

He keeps you in this position for a moment while he spills into the condom inside of you, not utterly exhausted, but entirely satisfied nonetheless. He feels nice, like his mind and body have been reset, truly giving him a fresh start to the day as he finally opens his eyes after bathing in his own afterglow.  

A glance to the side offers him the time. Your flight has left almost half an hour ago by now. 

“We missed it.” You mumble sleepily, and he nods, before he playfully manhandles you around to lay on your back on the bed again, pulling your shirt over your head. “Jungkook!” You laugh, and he chuckles along, attacking your shoulder and neck with kisses and even bites, visibly energized now.  

“Good.” He purrs against your skin. “Up for a round two?” 

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──💜── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ 

You feel a bit embarrassed. 

You’ve been home for two days now, and you miss him. Terribly so. Even though you try and occupy yourself with work, your mind keeps going back to the time spent with him, and you’re conflicted. Should you reach out? Text him? He told you he wouldn’t mind, but he also seemed a little stressed about work, so you probably shouldn’t bother him.  

Maybe you could ask Tae? 

But he doesn’t really give you an answer, somehow sounding oddly reluctant even to just talk about his friend in any way, and it makes you suspicious. So today, you finally jump over your shadow, and text him- just to get no reply for hours. It’s not until later that day that you receive a phone call instead- his voice sounding tired. “I’m sorry I’ve been silent.” He simply says, and you’re immediately alarmed.  

“What’s that noise in the background?” You want to know, because it sounds very much like something you’re very much familiar with. And with the way he dodges an answer by sighing first, you just know what’s going on. “Which hospital are you in? Do you need anything?” You rant. “What even happened?” 

“Nothing happened-” He quietly argues, sounding awfully like a scolded child almost, but you cut him off.  

“Well something clearly happened for you to be in hospital!” You argue, before you calm down. “I’m sorry, I just-” 

But Jungkook reassures you as always, giving you the name of the hospital he’s staying at, as well as the room he’s in, so you can visit him. And the moment you walk in with some snacks approved by the doctors, you feel like you’re the one in need of medical attention.  

“What happened?” You weakly ask, carefully sitting down next to his bed where he’s in, a hand running over his face, careful not to twist the delicate tubes connected to the needle in his arm.  

“Just an accident.” He says, though he’s not looking at you- and it makes you anxious.  

“What accident?” You ask, and when he doesn’t answer, you press on, unable to keep your emotions in check properly. “Jungkook please. You said we should be honest-” You softly say, and he sighs, licking his lips.  

“I.. Fell asleep.” He mumbles quietly. “While driving to a meeting. I was late, and it was.. Just for a split second- and suddenly it all went to shit.” He explains. “I was- the road was empty. And it was so fucking late, I- don't know what I was thinking.”  

It’s quiet after that, apart from staff and visitors moving outside in the hall, barely heard through the closed door, but the machine that’s keeping close measurement of his vitals occasionally makes a sound.

Jungkook barely manages to look at you, and when he does, he’s not sure what that expression on your face means. You’re looking at a nasty bruise on his wrist, face unreadable, before you eventually speak again.  

“Jungkook.” You say his name, and your voice is bone chillingly serious, demanding his full attention.  

“Don’t you ever do that again.” 

Your words are heavy, full of emotion and yet delivered in a monotone anger that makes him realize the gravity of the situation. He’s lucky he didn’t hit anyone in that tiny second, should be forever grateful nothing major happened at all except for his car getting crashed beyond repair.  

“I’m sorry-” He begins, but you shake your head, speaking after you take a deep breath as if to collect yourself.  

“No, I don’t want an apology.” You deny. “You can’t do this.” You say, and he’s a bit unsure what you mean, when you turn to look at him with glossy eyes. “You can’t make me get attached just to... pull something like this.” You say. “That’s cruel, Jungkook. You could’ve killed someone.” You tell him, and he nods, quietly. “Get a cab next time, or have someone drive you, fuck I don’t care!” You become a bit louder now. “But you can’t do this. You can’t be this selfish.” Is your response, as you finally properly look at him, close to tears. “I’m starting to need you, Jungkook.” You confess.  

“You can’t leave me alone like that.”  

And at the first tear falling, he chooses to ignore his physical pain, to move over a little and have you sit on the side of his bed, clinging to him as the full force of it all hits you, arms reaching out for him, grabbing hard at the hospital gown he’s in, desperate to hold him.  

As if you need to know he’s still there, that he’ll be fine.  

“I’ll make sure to rest properly from now on.” He promises, hand that’s not hooked up to anything running over your back as you cry into his chest. “I’ll take better care of myself. I promise.” He tells you, and you nod, though you stay close.  

It takes a good moment for you to calm down again, and when you are, he uses that energy you both have now to dig a little deeper.  

“I’m sorry I didn’t reach out, by the way.” He tells you, and you shrug. “No, I mean it. There’s no excuse for it.”  

“You were busy.” You mumble, but he shakes his head.  

“Doesn’t matter.” He denies. “I’ll make more time for you. I need to rest anyways, and even after I’m healed, I should take a step back in general. Like I said-” He offers, wincing a bit when a movement causes him pain. “-I have to take better care of myself. For you.”  

“I’m sorry.” You mumble, detaching yourself a little from him again as you sit up, feet dangling off the edge of the bed. “I’m getting clingy already-”  

“No, please.” He encourages, giving you a soft smile. “Be clingy. I promise you, I’m just.. It's just a bit odd to me at the moment.” Jungkook reveals. “I’ve not had someone care for me in such a way in.. A while.” Or ever, he wants to actually say- but he doesn’t want to put so much pressure on you.  

He can leave those big confessions to a later date.  

“Should I.. do you need help at home once you get out of here?” You wonder. “I could help you? Or, maybe you can.. I don’t know-”  

“I’d really appreciate your company.” He smiles. “And your help too. But mostly your company.” Jungkook teases, making you laugh in relief.  

Not just because he clearly looks worse than it actually is- 

But also because his smile looks oddly youthful- and most of all, truly genuine. 

[misshugs]

The elevator game || Colby Brock x Reader

[req by anon] You knew you were sensitive to the other side, but you didn't expect a silly little game from the internet to give you this much of an impact.

warnings: cursing, paranormal activity, reader getting (slightly) attacked by ghosts, sensitive/medium!reader, degrading, angst? still not sure what the meaning of it is tbh

a/n: this is my first request ever, i hope i didn't let you down dear anon. Concept based on this video

word count: 2.5k (not proofread)

[u n e d i t e d]

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"What's up guys, it's Sam and Colby!" Colby screamed towards the camera, as always.

"Today we are here at the Driskill Hotel, also known as the most haunted hotel here in Texas." Sam continues.

"We're here to figure out why this place is so haunted and what message the ghosts here wanna tell the people. And for this video guys, we have a very special someone!" Colby says, moving to the side so that you're visible to the camera.

Waving at it and smiling, you were greeted by Colby's hands wrapped around your shoulders. "Thank you, thank you. Hello, dear people. It is I." They laugh.

"How are you feeling about this? Are you excited?" Sam asks, putting the camera on the both of you.

"I am! The place is HUGE and honestly, just looks so good!"

"Right?? When we got in it was just like a burst of shock at how gorgeous this place is." Sam said and Colby nodded.

"If it weren't haunted I'd probably come here more often, but I can already feel all of these... energies walking around, I wouldn't last too long."

"Oh, right. For anybody that doesn't know, Y/n is actually a bit of medium?" Colby asks while looking at you, making you nod. "Yeah, so she's sensitive to like the energy of shadow figures and things like that, so maybe we'll get to experience something interesting tonight!"

"I'd say hopefully not but that wouldn't make it fun I guess." You laugh and so do they while you explain it is a pain in the ass to feel those things constantly. "It is almost as if you're constantly paranoid about someone looking at you, y'know what I mean?"

"Oh yeah, for sure." Colby noded.

"Yeah so that, but those stares are more physical than anything, there are times where I can feel people walking behind me and when I look back, there's no one."

"I can just imagine how creepy that must feel." Sam said and you chuckled.

"Oh yeah. You have no idea." You smiled.

"Well then, shall we begin the investigation?" Colby asked you, smiling. You quickly smiled back.

"Of course." You kissed him softly before Sam could even turn off the camera.

"Oh, gross man. I'll have to edit that out." He said jokingly and you laughed, rolling your eyes.

"But seriously though, let's keep it moving." You said and they agreed.

Walking around, there were a few pieces of lore they had to explain to you beforehand. About the one and only Driskill who created the hotel, about the little girl that broke her neck, so on and so forth.

There were times when you had this eerie feeling of constantly being followed, so you kept your arms interlocked with Colby's.

"You're doing okay so far?" He asked, cautiously caressing your hand. You nodded.

"Yeah, just feel like we're being followed." You replied, looking back where there was no one there.

"Really??" Sam asked, looking back as well but seeing nothing. "Do you think we caught a ghost's interest?"

"I mean, probably. There is a difference in between someone that's coming just for the hotel part and us, that are investigating and directly needing their intervention. We're making them curious."

"Well, for whatever spirit that might be following us, you're welcome to answer our questions later on tonight." Colby said loud enough for anything around to listen to it.

Honestly, even those small gestures made you so madly in love with him. The way he touches you softly just for you to make sure you're not alone and he's here for you is such a warming feeling.

Wilst looking around the current room, Colby walked up to a random closed door and tried to walk through.

"She said no closed doors!" Sam exclaimed, probably talking about the tour guide's rules of the place.

"Unless it's... unlocked." Colby responded, making Sam roll his eyes.

"Oop, it's Jim Hogg's room." You said, looking up.

"Who's that?" Sam asked.

"I dunno, it says its name on the top." You point up and they just laughed at the comment. I mean, what were they expecting? You had no idea about whatever story roams around these halls asides from the two main ones they've explained.

"Also I don't think you should be trying even more, like if it's hard to go in it's probably because you're not supposed to."

"We have a bad reputation of breaking into places." Sam admitted and you smiled.

"Yeah, I know. I remember that." You chuckle and hold Colby's hand to pull away from the door.

As they kept on chatting and making interesting comments here and there, you found the elevator and pointed it out. "Oh, is this the one?" Colby asked Sam and he just gave him a stare.

"This is the one what?" You ask and they look at eachother.

Sam sighed. "We were going to keep it until the time came, but we may have a little challenge for tonight that has to do with the elevator."

"Ooooh sounds fun. I wanna do it." You smile.

"You sure?? You have to be by yourself." Colby asked, worried but amused.

"Do you think I can't do this, Mr. Brock? That's offensive." You spat, crossing your hands around your chest.

"No! I meant-" He tried to explain, but you quickly interrupted.

"Cancelled, I tell you. Cancelled!" You look away with your eyes closed, trying not to laugh at the stupid situation unfolding.

"Great." You heard him sigh in defeat as Sam started laughing at the both of you. Looking back with a smile on your face, you hugged him.

"Alright, let's get going already." You giggled, gaining a kiss on the top of your head from your boyfriend.

Walking inside the elevator, it almost felt as if it quickly went down in an unnatural way.

"Did you guys feel like... the elevator dropping three inches?"

"Yeah, kinda of." Sam said.

"Three inches is a lot." Colby replied.

"Three inches is huge." Sam continued.

"I can vouch." You said.

"Mass..." Colby began talking but couldn't hold in the laugh after you said that.

Going back to the main lobby, you all reached out to a girl that was apparently the tourguide. She quickly explained the story of the place, how it ended up being the renouned hotel it came to be.

When she explained that the smell of cigar was one of the main ways Driskill manifested, your eyes went wide. "You're kidding."

"No, did you smell it before?" She asked.

"I did! But it was like, close to the entrance so I thought that maybe someone was smoking. I did find it rare because it was just a glimpse of it for like a solid second and then gone." You explained, making the girl smile.

"Well, that was him."

"No way." Colby said, smiling at you.

"Yup." She nodded, continuing to explain as you all started walking back to the elevator. Going inside, the door closed only to be opened again. "Oh?"

"Did we just pressed five and went to one? It's haunted!" Sam exclaimed.

"That was weird." Colby said, looking at the door.

"It was, that was so weird." The guide said, trying to close the door once again, only for it to open again.

"Does it do that often?" You asked and she shook her head.

"No! It doesn't." She walked back out and talked to someone from out side. "Are you fucking with us?"

"That's so strange- oh, I hit it." You whispered. The guide came back in.

"But you see it, right? I'm pressing five and it like start to go up but then it stops." The door closes once again, only for them to open.

"Oh my god." Sam said, whispering.

"And we're doing a challenge here?" You asked confused, making them laugh.

"Not here exactly." Colby smiled.

"Lemme- I'll go out." You said, walking out of the elevator, watching as the doors began to close, only for them to open once again. "Oh no, that's- that's a malfunction alright."

"And you said it, these malfuction all the time." Colby said to the guide as they walked out of the elevator.

When Sam did it by himself, it started working all over again.

"What the fuck??" Colby yelled.

"Are we like fat? Is it fat shaming us?" You whined, making everyone laugh.

And so, even though your night barely started, you were already having some activity to say the least.

And it kept being that way all night. Constant responses from spirits, intelligent ones at that. The little girl, the woman from the vortex room... all the way down to the challenge you've been anticipating the whole night round.

The elevator challenge.

"I think it might be just me but every single time we pass through this side of the hotel I feel like actually throwing up."

"Wait, really?" Colby asked, worried.

"Like an eerie feeling more than anything, almost like I'm kinda feeling a bit dizzy whenever we pass through here."

"Are you sure you want to do this? You can still back out, or I could go in with you." Colby tried to make you change your mind, but you were settled in it.

"No, I have to do it alone. What if it doesn't work because we're together? You're not gonna let me do this right?"

"I do! I'm just worried." Colby admitted, making you smile.

"You cutie. I love you so much." You said, smiling at him and cupping his face before giving him a quick peck on the lips.

"Y'all are gonna make me puke, another part I'm gonna have to cut out." Sam joked, making you giggle.

"Alright, alright. So, how does this work?" You ask, hugging yourself as you wait for instructions.

It was a simple game. Supposedly, you had to hit the buttons of the elevator in a specific order. In the last one, you had to invite in a lady. If the ritual worked, you were supposed to start going up into another world. If it didn't, well, nothing happened and it failed.

"So... I'm about to get isekai'd? We're going to an anime, brothers." You laughed at your own joke while they handed you your camera.

"I send you the order, just in case." Sam continued, and you nodded.

"Thank you, 'cause I already forgot." You turned on your phone as well as the camera and walked in.

"Any last words?" Colby asked cheekishly, making you smile.

"See you in the other side." You answered, before the door closed. You sighed, putting the camera up to your face. "Alright, so... I'm supposed to hit this one first." Switching the camera back to the buttons, you hit the number four.

It began moving. "Oh, good. It would've been a mess if it already fucked up. Alright..." You sighed. "I didn't told them this, but I do find the thought of getting stuck in an elevator horrifying. I just agreed because maybe it might help me out, but it doesn't work the fact that I can feel so many spirits around this area specifically every time we walk past it." You explain before getting on the next floor, touching the next button.

Back down on the lobby, Sam and Colby were talking.

"I didn't want her to do it, honestly. I was gonna do it myself." Sam said.

"Right? She's our guest too, what if something happens to her? That would be the death of me."

"Don't jinx it, brother. She'll be alright."

Boy they were wrong.

Halfway through, your vision started to get blurry, your legs were shaky and you couldn't brush off the feeling of pressure on your chest. It was starting to make you nervous, even more so the fact you were alone.

You started thinking to yourself. What if something really did happen? What if you summon something your body couldn't handle? What if it really did send you to another world?

It happened so quickly, that you have already reached the last floor before you knew it. Gulping down your dry throat, you began to speak. "Alright, if there's something... out... oh fuck." Your vision got blurry and you could feel an inmense ammout of power flushing through the elevator doors even before it opened up.

You couldn't hold it together, it was too much for you to handle as you were suspecting before. Although you tried to stay up, your legs couldn't hold your weight up anymore and you passed out, falling down to the floor, hitting your head strongly onto the hard floor of the elevator.

Luckily, the ritual didn't work. It began going down and the guys, mainly Colby, were anxiously waiting for the doors to open. When they did, their faces fell.

Colby screamed out your name, quickly rushing in and holding your head. "Love?? Sweetheart, what happened? Wake up, please. Oh God." He began shaking, carrying you outside of the elevator so that it was slightly more comfortable.

"What happened? Oh my fucking God." Sam whispered, grabbing your camera from the elevator's floor and walking out.

"She's not responding, Sam." Colby nervously said, making sure you were at least still alive.

You were.

"Should I call an ambulance or something?" Sam asked. "Oh, no. I have the keys with me."

"Let's take her to the hospital, quickly." He lifted you up from the floor and hurriedly got out of the building and to the hospital.

You were alright, luckily. It seemes you have just fainted, but you falling down to the floor and hitting your head so hard made it a bit more complicated than what it had to be.

Colby felt bad, horrible even to think that this could've happened to you.

He should've been more careful, he should've known you were too sensitive to all of these energies so that you would go alone and out to make something so nerve racking. He should've been more insisting, rather than going with the flow merely because of a video.

He let his love have that type of experience because of a mere video.

It devastared him. Made him feel absolutely awful about it. While waiting for you to wake up, he kept on downgrading himself thinking about how he's the worst possible boyfriend.

It all stops when you finally wake up. Looking around the white room, confused.

"What happened?"

"It looks like you fainted... I'm so sorry for letting you do that all by yourself, I should've stopped you, I should've at least gone with you, I'm so sorry that you had to go through that because-"

"Love. Love!" You held his cheeks softly, making him quietly stop ranting, you smiled. "You know I wanted to do it, I was the stupid one for forgetting that big energy rafts can affect me a lot, I'm so sorry baby." You kissed his nose, reassuring him everything was alright.

And honestly, he needed to hear it. From you, specifically. Sam was trying to make him calm down but it didn't really work. It had to be you, your voice, your smile.

The one thing that made him whole all over again.

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I MAY HAVE DONE TOO MUCH FILLER FOR NO GODDAMN REASON- also hoping that dear anon liked it-

thank you for reading, loves~! likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated <3

~nikkõ

[yaksha-lover]

Thus Always to Tyrants

Summary: Lilia has always been an enigma to you; slipping through your fingers at every attempt to get close - follows fae!reader’s relationship with lilia from childhood to the war to present day in briar valley

Lilia Vanrouge x Fae!Reader, small background Meleanor x reader hehe

wc: 3.8k

cw: i’m too into medieval fantasy so i created unnecessary lore (clown noises), also i haven’t read book 7 so prob butchered canon, (but spoilers), angst, grief, unrequited (?) love, pining, mild description of war events/tragedy

Even then, he hadn’t seen you. Before the wars and before the bloodshed, when there’d only been long grass to tickle your ankles and azure skies allowing you to guess at clouds, Lilia had never seen you.

There’d always been something, someone, to distract him.

At least, that’s what you tell yourself. It’s easier this way, to imagine that there’s something other than disinterest and disgust keeping you apart.

The forests of Briar Valley are filled with pine trees, their scent so potent you wished you could bottle the air and take it home.

That was where you and Meleanor had met Lilia. You’d grown up in the royal castle, the two of you spending afternoons giggling about the latest court gossip and eating all the sweets you could before the queen could scold her daughter.

That day is one of your fondest memories, and not entirely because of him. The trunk of the giant oak tree was hard against your back, but you hadn’t been able to think about anything but the feel of your princess’ head in your lap. She’d simply closed her eyes and demanded you read to her, dark hair spilling around your legs.

“As you wish, Mel,” you’d agreed, gathering up one of her favourite books.

She’d only popped an eye open to tease you. “Mel, is it? Not princess? Perhaps I should have you punished for such transgressions~” She giggled.

“If I am to be placed in the dungeon, then who will feed you ice cream and read to you, dear princess?” you countered, ruffling her hair.

“Hmm, I suppose your insubordination will have to forgiven…but only if you allow me to remain on your lap for an adequate amount of time. Any sooner, and I’ll have to punish you myself~”

She was temperamental yet whimsical, delighting you as much as she terrified you. Mostly, Meleanor was your best friend. Your only friend, truly. There weren’t many children your age around the castle; you were only there because your father sat on the high council as the master of coin.

After you’d been reading aloud to her for some time, a sudden rustle in the trees caught the both of you off guard. The princess had jumped up quickly, all the combat lessons she’d taken with the head of the Queen’s guard finally paying off.

Out from the vegetation, a short, dark-haired fae who looked to be around your age emerged. He was fitted in what could only be described as rags; torn and stained all over. Despite his disheveled look, you thought he had a certain charm about him.

Meleanor, who’d grown taller than you ages ago, towered over him. It was almost a pitiful sight.

The princess had narrowed her eyes and asked: “Where have you come from?”

“Nowhere,” he’d answered simply, looking down at his feet. “I’m no one.”

That was the meekest you’d ever seen him, no indication of his true vibrant personality.

From that day in the forest, Lilia had been with you. Meleanor had begged the queen to let him stay in the castle, to grow up with you and her as another companion. The princess’ tears worked especially well on her mother, so of course she’d gotten her way.

As she grew up, the princess only became more and more beautiful. You weren’t the only one who noticed, either. The three of you were still young at the time, but Lilia seemed fond and more than fond of Meleanor. The princess returned his affections, but perhaps not with the same intent; she almost smote him when he’d jokingly proposed to her with a ring of grass. It made you angry, for a while. She was your friend first, and now Lilia had come to hog all her time and attention.

It was hard to see your only friend pulled in a new direction, especially one that seemed so far away from you. That was back when you were small; things settled quickly after that, with the three of you falling easily into friendship. There would still be times, occasionally, when you were envious of the friendship shared by Meleanor and Lilia, but it was on both ends. You simply wished to be included, not to have the princess or Lilia all to yourself. That was never a possibility, after all.

As you grew, it wasn’t long before Meleanor fell in love with Levan. You’d been…annoyed, at first, at how fast your friend had seemed to leave you behind yet again.

“You promised to take me flying today, dear princess,” you’d said, trying and failing to keep the gloom out of your voice. “Don’t you remember?”

Meleanor looked up from brushing her hair, making eye contact with you through the mirror. “Forgive me, I cannot turn away Levan…my heart will not let me.”

“But it will let you turn me away?”

She turned now, facing you directly, some of her signature anger evident in her expression. Her violent temper only seemed her grow with her adolescence. “Stop this foolishness! You are my friend, but Levan is my beloved. If you find issue with that, you will leave my castle at once.”

As though you couldn’t feel more humiliated, she’d moved, stopping in front of you and tilting your chin to meet her gaze. “Do you understand?”

“Yes,” you’d whispered, wondering when things had changed.

And then she’d pulled you into her arms, and suddenly she’d felt all too familiar again, hugging you and telling you she loved you, asking you to always stay by her side. As her dearest friend.

Being cold to Levan only pushed you further from Meleanor, so you were forced to accept his presence. Once the initial hostility dissipated, you found that Levan was quite pleasant.

If Meleanor was always destined to be with another, then you were happy it was someone as great as Levan, at the very least. With your princess’ time now being taken up by her lover, you and Lilia spent much more time alone together than before.

The first time you had the courage to broach the subject of marriages and pairings had done nothing but splash the cold water of Lilia’s indirect rejection on to you. With how cold and empty you felt, it was as though the shivers went bone deep.

Your father had insisted on looking for a match for you. A political marriage to improve your family’s standing, surely. You had protested and held it off as long as you could, but now his asks were becoming unavoidable.

You’d thought - hoped - that Lilia might be interested. He wouldn’t be your father’s number one choice, but he would still accept it; Lilia may not have been of noble birth, but his status as a respected general amongst the court bought him points. Marrying him would certainly be better than any stuffy old fae you’d be forced to settle down with.

It wasn’t just avoiding others, either. You wanted Lilia, as loathe as you were to admit. He was your friend, a close companion, and perhaps you’d even desired more.

It was difficult to voice to yourself that your affections went beyond platonic when you were not so delusional as to imagine that he felt the same in any way.

No, you felt like an afterthought to Lilia. As though you were merely Meleanor’s friend, and not his own. He wasn’t so kind to you as he was the princess, and the affection he held for her, although now platonic, went beyond anything you could imagine receiving from him. Even Levan seemed to bond with him easier than you had after knowing him for years. It was like he tolerated you more than anything; when Meleanor was off with Levan, you were the only option left.

It shouldn’t have hurt so much when he said he didn’t wish to marry. The ‘you’ part seemed unspoken, even though he claimed reasons of freedom and lifestyle instead of saying anything about you.

Regardless, he’d made the decision for you. Your father would ship you away from the castle, to be married to a stranger, leaving behind your beloved…friends.

At least he would have, had the war not begun so suddenly.

-

If you believed Lilia had hardened his heart to you before, then becoming a war general had hardened his heart to the world. Although it was the last thing on anyone’s minds, had you tried to bridge the gap between the two of you, not only would you have failed, but you might’ve gained a nice scar along with it.

To the untrained eye, Lilia seemed to thrive on the battlefield; swift with strength that went unmatched by any. But you knew better. There was a sense in which Lilia lost himself in action, where he seemed so distant from the boy you’d grown up with; perhaps it was his own way of coping with the horrors he’d been forced to experience, fae he fought alongside being slaughtered. In the end, it hadn’t mattered who they were before the battlefield; nobles and common folk alike fought and fell.

It was torturous to wait out the war in the castle. Every letter that came made your heart race, fear taking ahold as you read through the list of your fallen companions. It almost seemed inevitable that one day Lilia or Levan might appear on the list and send you into despair. Your only saving grace was Meleanor, the two of you keeping quiet company during this time, both not allowed to join the conflict and feeling useless for it.

You begged your father to let you join Lilia; you weren’t the most skilled fighter, but your healing magic excelled beyond any other, and you could hold your own for the most part. He’d denied you until so many had been lost that the queen asked for your service. None of you had known just how close tragedy was, how your departure for Lilia’s camp would mean leaving behind your beloved princess to die.

-

“Go back,” Lilia had growled at you. It was the very first thing he’d said since you’d come to his camp.

“I’m here to help, instead of rotting away in the castle while my people suffer!” You’d followed after him as he strutted between tents, giving orders to the other soldiers.

He’d shook his head, glaring at you. “You’re a spoiled little noble, you know nothing of the battlefield. Go back home. It’s not safe here.”

“I know I’m sheltered, but I’d like to try and help where I can! I don’t care what happens to me.”

Lilia stopped in his tracks, not facing you as he spoke.

“You don’t care? You’re selfish, you know that? What would Meleanor do without you? What would I-” He shook his head. “I don’t have time for this. Go back. Don’t make me make you.”

“Perhaps I am selfish, but what about me, Lilia? Shouldn’t it matter that I can’t possibly imagine a life where we’re not together, fighting side by side?” Your voice goes quiet. “I had a dream, an awful dream. One where you were dead…I’m afraid. I don’t want that dream to become real.”

You’d thought, for a moment, that his hardened gaze had wavered, but the next second, he’d ordered one of his subordinates to take you back to the castle. Perhaps the softness you believed you saw within him was only a trick of the light.

-

You’d been a fool. A fool in grief and despair, but a fool nonetheless.

Meleanor’s death had pulled you away from yourself, made you into some automaton which possessed none of your good qualities, for which you had to wonder if there were any to begin with. She’d been your friend, your only family. You should’ve been with her; you should’ve died with her. You should’ve done anything you could, and you’d failed.

It was only by a day that you’d left the castle and missed the fight that occurred.

Meleanor fought bravely, a knight had told you. And Meleanor died.

You waited for Lilia to come back. To come home to you. Your heart sang, a brief reprieve from all the aching when you found out he was alive; he was all you had left.

He never came, at least not to see you.

You fled the castle. There’d been no goodbyes to your father and no concern for Meleanor’s child.

If she’d been around, she surely would have killed you for your selfishness, but your head swam with grief and so you left everything behind.

-

It had been…surprising, to hear from Malleus. You’d heard amidst your travels that your father still sat on the small council, so perhaps he’d heard of you from him, considering they were together in Briar Valley. Who else would have known about you and your relationship with his mother?

There was General Vanrouge, but he…why would he even mention you at this point?

You’d taken to calling him that in your mind, if only to distance yourself a little more from your past. You heard he’d returned to Briar Valley years after you’d departed, but other than acting as a guardian for the prince and a curious human boy, you had no idea what he was up to.

It was a wonder the world was as big as it was, meaning you’d never run into the general during your travels.

And here, on the desk of your hostel, sat a letter from the crown prince. Your Meleanor’s son. The one you’d left behind.

With the distance of time, a new feeling stirs in your chest. One of unease and shame, yet another failure to the Draconia’s. You hoped the boy was doing well. Would it even be possible to accept if he wasn’t?

Well, he was asking, along with Meleanor’s mother, that you pay them a visit once again. The Queen…you’d abandoned her too, in a way. You dared not hope that she thought of you as another one of her children, but in a way, you’d loved her as a mother.

Heat burned at your cheeks. With your focus on Meleanor, Lilia, and Levan, you’d forgotten there were more people you considered your family. More people that you’d left behind in Briar Valley.

After all this time, you owed them an explanation, no, an apology. You owed them your return home.

-

Malleus greets you at the gates.

You’re stunned, for a moment. Dark locks of long hair sprawled elegantly across his shoulders, two curved horns peaking out from his head. Piercing green eyes that look into your soul.

He’s the spitting imagine of your best friend.

You try to move forward, but a green-haired fae stops you in your tracks, moving between you and Malleus.

“Keep your distance! Have some respect for your Prince!”

Malleus is quick to shake his head. “Leave them be, Sebek. This is Lord Tyrell’s child. My mother’s childhood friend.”

Sebek is quick to step-aside, bowing before you in apology, allowing you to step forward and hug Malleus. He’s motionless for a moment, and you’re worried you’ve crossed his boundaries, before he slowly slides his arms around your back, returning the hug.

“The resemblance between you and your mother…it is truly incredible. Pardon me for getting emotional, but I wasn’t expecting you to look so grown up…last I saw, you were merely an egg.”

He looks at you, smiling gently. “It’s nice to meet a friend of my mother’s. I feel I hardly know anything about her. Even Lilia refuses to speak of her.”

Your heart stirs at the mention of your former friend’s name. “I hope I can provide some memories of her.” You look away from him. “I only wish I could’ve done so sooner…I apologize, Malleus. I should have been here for you, just as Lilia was. I should have taken care of you, not left you behind when you were only a child…”

He shakes his head once again. “You are here now. That is all that matters.”

“Thank you, I hardly deserve your kindness.”

He returns your smile. “It is what my mother would have wished for, is it not?”

-

He leads you through the halls of the castle, but you wouldn’t have needed his help to get around. Every wall in the castle is burned into your brain, engrained with a variety of memories.

The halls are vastly the same as you remember; the same silver trim, the velveteen carpets, and the Draconia sigil hung on banners.

Only one thing stands out as different to you: there’s one more portrait than before.

Normally the Draconia family portraits were done about every century, so it made sense that one had been added semi-recently. This one is just of Malleus and Maleficia, occupying a rather empty-looking frame. Even if you didn’t know about Meleanor and Levan, you would know something was missing from it.

Your train of thought is interrupted by the appearance of a Silver-haired boy. He pauses to stare at you for a moment before smiling.

“You must be MC. Father has told me so much about you.” He bows lightly.

“You’re Silver? Lilia’s boy?” You take his hands in yours. “It’s very nice to meet you.”

“And you as well. We’ve promised to help some of the younger knights with their training, so Sebek and I won’t be able to stay for dinner, but I hope you’ll stick around. It would be nice to hear about you from more than the stories my father shares.”

“I’ve been gone so long, I certainly intend to stay for a while. Maybe I’ll be able to tell you some stories of your father when he was younger.”

With a nod, Silver is off.

Malleus leads you into the dining room and you catch your first glimpse of Lilia Vanrouge in over a century.

-

He’s different and the same, all at once. He’s maintained his youthful looks, but his hair has radically changed; cropped and pink, where it once flowed in its red glory.

You turn to greet Maleficia first, bowing in front of her. “It is an honour to dine with you, your grace.”

“Stop that nonsense. Come to me, my dear. It’s been ages since I’ve seen you.”

The queen embraces you gently in her frail frame.

“I am truly sorry,” you whisper.

“It’s already forgotten,” she whispers back. “The past is the past, and we are here now. Please, take a seat, so we may dine together once again.”

Maleficia and Malleus sit at the head of the table on each side, so you take your place across from Lilia.

“It’s nice to see you again,” you offer.

“You as well,” Lilia replies, seemingly at a loss.

The dinner proceeds, Maleficia and Malleus asking questions about your travels. Lilia chimes in occasionally, but he’s uncharacteristically silent. Or perhaps characteristically? You hardly know him anymore, after all.

Once the final course comes and goes, Maleficia stands from the table. “Malleus, let us take our tea in the garden today. I believe these two have a lifetime of catching up to do.”

With that, the two of them are off.

-

“I missed you.” You don’t intend the words to come, but they spill out of your heart anyway.

“As did I.”

You fidget with the cutlery in front of you. “You’re still so formal with me after all this time. Have we truly become strangers?”

“You could never be a stranger to me. Not a day has gone by without you being in my thoughts.”

“And yet you never went looking for me. You returned to the castle only after I left, starting a family, raising Silver and Malleus…”

“They needed me. You know that.”

“You left me. You were all I had left after…I would have done anything, followed you anywhere. I would have helped you take care of Silver, Malleus. But you left without saying a thing.”

“I never knew…”

“Of course you did. Everyone did.”

“Nothing good would have come from us being together.”

“At least you’re finally being honest about your feelings. If you hated me as I feared, you should have sent me away the moment I came.”

“Hate? No, it was never like that. The distance between us…it seemed quite impossible to traverse.”

“Distance? We grew up in the same castle for hundreds of years…”

“That’s not what I was referring to.”

“Then to what?”

“You know how they all thought of me. The senate, your father, all believed I never deserved to be so close to you and Mel-” Lilia takes a moment to breathe. “To you and the princess.”

The mention of her name has you squeezing your eyes closed. Even after hundreds of years, it hurts to remember your beloved friend, her sweet memory tainted with the despair of her death. “Why does it matter what they thought?”

“They never would have allowed it. You know that.”

“No, that’s not true. My father said…”

“He lied. He was the first to send me away after her death.”

“He what? I- I was told you left, torn apart by grief.”

“I was in pain, but I always planned to return home…return to you. But the senate, they declared that there was no place at court for me anymore. That I failed- I failed at protecting Meleanor.”

A short silence rings between you. It’s perhaps the first time either of you have heard her name said aloud in centuries.

“I’m sorry,” you say. “I never knew.”

“I never wanted you to. I’d rather you hate me than your family.”

“I understand. But you were my family, too. Perhaps the only one who truly had my best interests in mind and not some political scheming or such. And now look at you: Silver, Sebek, Malleus. Against all odds, you’ve found yourself a new family.” While I’ve ended up alone, you don’t say.

“You know I’ve always said, families are better the bigger they are. Perhaps it’s far too late, but-”

“Later’s better than never.”

A moment of understanding passes between you two, perhaps for the first time.

“Your hair…you look quite different from when I last saw you.”

“Hmm, Red was going out of style, I suppose. Although I’m sure you wish I hadn’t changed it. You always did prefer red.”

You shake your head softly. “Perhaps in the past, but we’ve both changed, haven’t we? No, I was going to say that it becomes you.”

The silence that settles between you is filled by an exchange of gentle smiles and a skimming of one hand over the other, until the two finally link together.

[alwaysmoncheri]

𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐈𝐈 | 𝐣𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫

summary: during your time at hogwarts, you and james dated months before he dated lily. but now, after graduation, you find yourself looking for him in every place and you have no idea he’s doing the same.

cw: fem!reader, mentions of alcohol, angst(lots of it), mentions of break-ups, james and reader lore, remus being a sweetheart as always, lightly proofread, 1.8k

a/n: i don’t have much of a plan for this series, so it’s sort of just going where it’s going. if you want to suggest anything i’m open to that! but anyways, i hope you enjoy! :)

<3

james is miserable. the moment he heard your voice through the phone, something within him stirred. all the built-up emotions connected to you are suddenly back in the forefront of his mind. his day was going fine, it was like any normal day hanging out at remus’s apartment, having a few drinks, and discussing their jobs. just moments ago, laughs were shared, drinks were spilled, and remus and sirius went to the kitchen to clean up and grab a few replacement drinks. nothing was out of the ordinary, that is until the phone rang and james mindlessly decided to pick up.

remus has always been a little wary of other people answering the phone when visiting him, but james hadn’t known why, until now. remus didn’t want james to know that you and him were still close and remus surely didn’t want to ruin any peace you had made with the brutal ending of your and james’s relationship with one single phonecall. unfortununatly, due to james’ stupidity and obliviousness, he messed it all up.

“finally! I thought you weren’t going to pick up,” your voice echos through the phone, progressively getting louder as you adjust the phone within your grip. james’s eyebrows furrow together as he recognizes your voice, and disbelief flows through him, “you won’t believe who I just spoke to, she–”

“y/n?” james interrupts and you stop midsentence. there’s nothing but silence on your end of the phone for a few seconds and james thinks that you’ve hung up, but you’re only momentarily frozen with shock and a rush of memories, “hello?”

“...james?” you whisper delicately as if you’re testing his name on your lips after not speaking it for the past couple of years, “why— what are you doing?” you finally ask, a slight stammer in your sentence, after another few seconds of silence. your urgent question makes him grimace, knowing that you don’t want to speak to him.

“i’m with remus and sirius.” james replies, and he mentally facepalms himself because of course he’s with his two best friends, why else would he be answering one of their apartment phones?

“oh.” you mumble, your response barely reaching james’s ear through the phone.

“so, how are you?” james finds himself asking, not wanting you to hang up just yet, but also not knowing what else to say.

“how am I? seriously?” you repeat, an incredulous laugh falling from your lips while you shake your head in bewilderment. james hasn’t changed a bit, still avoiding the conversation that you should be having, “i’m hanging up, james.”

“hold on—” james starts, his words urgent and desperate, practically pleading you to stay on the phone with him.

“do you need something from me?” you snap and james’s eyes widen with shock at your bitter tone.

“I just wanted to hear your voice again, lovely.” james admits, the term of endearment falling from his lips before he can stop it. he grimaces again, waiting to hear your presumably just as bitter response to his comment.

“still a charmer, i see.” you say and james can picture you rolling your eyes through the phone, there might even be a small smile threatening to curve at the corners of your lips.

“some things never change, I guess.” james responds with a hopeful smile on his face. he turns around and leans against the apartment wall, getting comfortable.

“yeah, I guess they don’t.” you agree. there’s a small pause before james hears you take a deep breath, “i’m good. i’ve been pretty good.” you say, finally answering his question from earlier.

“yeah?” james asks, his smile growing wider while crossing one heel over the other.

“look, can you tell remus I called?” you ask, hoping to end the conversation without too much damage left on your heart. james’s smile drops and you quickly backtrack, changing your mind about telling remus, “or maybe don’t even mention this at all. that’s probably better.”

“okay, yeah, I can do that.” james nods through the phone, no traces of the smile from earlier left upon his face because of your abrupt end to the conversation.

“goodbye james.” you say, and james hears a hint of sadness in your tone before the click of a button, indicating that you’ve hung up.

“bye.” james whispers to himself, placing the phone back on the wall, feeling defeated and confused.

now, james is stiffly seated on the couch, a frown and a look of contemplation upon his face. he’s trying hard to forget the way the two of you broke up. he’s trying to forget the way you liked it when he loosely hugged your waist from behind, the way only he could smell your sweet perfume when he kissed along your neck, and how he only knew that you hated your laugh, but whenever you did, he would tell you how beautiful it was—you would never believe him, but he kept doing it anyway. he’s trying to forget every little detail about you, but that took years, and somehow, a single conversation was enough to bring it all back.

“what’s with the face, prongs?” sirius notices first, after he and remus come back from the kitchen, a couple more drinks in their hands.

“what?” nothing.” james says, snapping his gaze up to meet his two friends who come to sit beside him, eye watching him intently. sirius and remus share a glance, one of suspicion and one of concern and confusion.

“oh c’mon.” sirius prys, leaning forward to rest his elbow on his knee and his chin on his hand, a playful smile upon his lips, “we know you better than that.” james sends sirius a glare, causing sirius to lean back mouth agape in reaction to james’s bitter expression.

“I don’t think he wants to tell us.” remus says softly, hoping to avoid receiving the same treatment that james gave sirius. but sirius is undeterred, he crosses his arms and leans back against the couch, frustrated with james’s sudden attitude.

“no, no, tell us what’s wrong.” sirius urges, eyebrows raised, awaiting james’s next response.

“nothing is wrong,” james replies, not wanting to argue, but not wanting to share his previous encounter with you on the phone, “i’m fine.” he assures, and he watches out of the corner of his eye as remus shifts uncomfortably.

“oh ok.” sirius rolls his eyes before leaning forward to glance at remus on the other side of james, “he’s fine, did you hear, remus? he’s fine.” sirius repeats mockingly before scoffing quietly.

“would you just drop it?” james asks, raising his voice ever so slightly and turning to face his whole body toward sirius.

“I don’t think I will—”

“stop it, you are both incredibly stubborn.” remus interrupts, suddenly standing up, causing james and sirius to watch with shock at their friend’s actions, “I don’t know what happened in the two minutes that we were gone, but clearly something is wrong, james. but sirius you also need to know when to take a hint.”

“sorry.” james apologizes, hanging his head low with disappointment in himself.

“I appreciate that, but I think you should go home.” remus suggests, gathering a few empty beer cans off the floor and placing them on the coffee table, “we can do this another time.” james sighs deeply before standing, walking towards the front door and grabbing his coat on his way out. when the door closes, remus turns to sirius a concerned expression resting on his face.

“is he okay?” remus asks, and sirius scoffs, clearly offended that remus didn’t ask if he was okay first.

“how should I know, remus?” sirius asks bitterly, shrugging nonchalantly, as if the whole previous conversation didn’t happen, “we’re in the same boat here.” sirius adds, referring to what little they both know about james’s mood shift and how they were both together when it suddenly occurred.

“don’t do that.” remus pleads, feeling a pang of hurt in his chest as sirius refuses to meet his gaze, “if you want to be that way, then get out.”

sirius scoffs angrily, grabs his leather jacket and stomps out of the door. from outside the apartment james watches as he hops into his car, slams the door shut, and drives away in a flash. the feeling of guilt rushes through james’s chest knowing that he’s the reason for the ruined night and the upset feelings of his two best friends. james feels like his head is all messed up, not thinking straight about anything anymore. when he gets into his own car, he just sits there for a moment, thinking about all your car-involving fantasies you talked about when the two of you were together. you always said you wanted to be kissed in a car, but james never had the chance to make that wish come true. he wonders if it has now. james rests his head on the steering wheel for a split second before starting the engine and driving back to his own apartment.

when james arrives, he shrugs off his jacket and heads straight towards his bedroom. he instantly flips on the light and strides over to his dresser taking a quick glance at the framed picture of you and him neatly placed on the top. james sighs sadly before opening his drawers, digging through the miscellaneous items within, eventually finding a small stack of letters, each one addressed to him, from you. that’s how the two of you met. he wrote a letter with the intention of giving it to lily and left it underneath a log by black lake. james planned on luring lily to his favorite spot, knowing that if he gave her the letter outright, she would find it silly, but before he could, someone else found the letter, the person being you. and you didn’t find it silly at all. you found it quite endearing, the sweet words finding home within your heart. then, you wrote a letter back, left it in the same place and somehow, james found it. that tree by the lake became your spot as the two of you continued to write to each other. but eventually you started leaving your letters elsewhere, communicating these places with each letter sent. this went on for a few months in your sixth year. you and james weren’t good friends but you were closer in your earlier years at hogwarts, so when you finally revealed yourselves to each other at the very end of the year, he instantly asked you out on a date and you said yes.

james could’ve gotten rid of these letters because they only hold memories that hurt him, but it might hurt him even more if he did get rid of them. so, he keeps choosing to hold onto them, just like he keeps holding onto you. james takes a seat on the edge of his bed and reads through each of the letters, reminding himself of the locked up memories from years ago. as he reads yours, he doesn’t know that not too far from him, you’re lying in bed, doing the exact same.

<3

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thank you for reading, my darling! remember to like! reblog! and comment! i’ll give you a smooch if you do, ily! send requests to my inbox!

tags: @annoyingmidgetwhowrites, @googie-jeon, @dreamsygirl, @vixparker, @enamoredwithbella

alwaysmoncheri © ─ all rights reserved. please do not repost/translate/copy any of my work.

[rwrbficrecs]

A combined rec list for July & August ❤️

Before This, After That by @orchidscript (book-verse)

@dot524: Henry has a serious horse-riding injury and is in a downward spiral with his recovery until Therapist Alex pulls him out of it. I liked the sharp-edges interaction between them as they fall for each other. I actually read this one a while ago and it was just as good as a reread!

The darkest part of the forest by @everwitch-magiks (book-verse)

@suseagull04: I've loved this entire series, but this was my favorite by far so far! The way the author does world building in her fics is incomparable, even in a fic this short! I would love if she decided to make this a multichapter someday!

Count The Stars and Constellations by @everwitch-magiks (book-verse)

@suseagull04: I've said it once already this month, but it bears repeating: the way the author does world building in her fics is absolutely phenomenal! This one's an outer space saga for the ages, plus it's a multichapter, so we get to see Alex and Henry fall in love over the span of several years, and it's a bit angsty, but absolutely worth it!

An Exquisite Temptation by @tinyarmedtrex (book-verse)

@na-dineee: Henry became a Catholic priest to escape his homophobic family. Never did he expect to meet a stunningly attractive and equally charming, mouthy Texan who would seriously challenge his devout faith. Y'all can guess where this is headed, right? Delicious in so many ways: emotional, full of ‘80s vibes, angsty, smutty—an absolute masterpiece! Chef’s kiss!

How to get over Henry Fox: A list by dazedandconfused (book-verse)

@na-dineee: This AU is set in 2002, and Alex breaks up with the love of his life Henry. Even though it's clear they’d only be apart for a year, the story is still so gut-wrenching. The hurt and angst really got to me—reading that fic is a challenge, but it's absolutely worth it.

late night devil (put your hands on me) by @nine-butterflies (book-verse)

@suseagull04: The way this author took a 4 chapter fic and gave the world so much history and lore is absolutely incredible! Plus there are so many moments of Alex and Henry's relationship that're reminiscent of the book. Everything about this fic is amazing- and it's also definitely a good fic if you're looking for something for Halloween when it arrives soon!

right there beside him (all summer long) by @theprinceandagcd (book-verse)

@daisymae-12: The winter in Australia had me craving a story with summer vibes and this fic was perfect for that. Loved everything about this fic!!

Interrupted (series) by RadioFriday (book-verse)

@dot524: Henry is diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, just like his dad was. This story follows him and Alex through their painful journey, including the end of it and beyond. Read this if you’re in the mood to have your heart broken, over and over.

the very essence of love by dollarstoreannabethchase (book-verse)

@suseagull04: It's RWRB, but from Henry's POV. The angst of the original is heightened in this (believe it or not, it can be done), but that makes the ending that much sweeter, and I loved the insight into Henry's thoughts!

somewhere in your world by @callmevenji (book-verse)

@na-dineee: Prince Henry, student at Oxford, tries to reach a hook-up gone wrong – and ends up texting someone else entirely: Alex. A deep chat friendship unfolds, while simultaneously Henry begins to fall for the charismatic FSOTUS. Whether it’s the universe at work, coincidence, or fate, the pleasure of reading this heartfelt fic is indescribably beautiful !!

In the Grand Scheme of Things by @itsmaybitheway (book/movie-verse)

@suseagull04: Meet cute at a wedding, instant attraction, intellectual banter- this fic has it all! Plus this is the best AU characterization of firstprince I've seen in a while, it's fantastic!

marked by rizcriz (book/movie-verse)

@zwiazdziarka: a soulmate AU with some extra drama - Henry learns that the reason he hasn't met his soulmate was his grandmother's plotting. Extremely well executed - my heart was breaking and then singing when it all turned out well.

Someday Soon I’ll See You (But Now You’re Out of Sight) by MaryaDmitrievnaLikesSundays (book-verse)

@dot524: In the mood for some intense angst? I needed like two business days to recover from reading this one. The story is a devastating view of complex grief as different characters deal with Alex’s death. I thought that the odd and asynchronous ways the grief manifests for different people was raw, real, and well done.

peace by @raysletters (book-verse)

@suseagull04: This is the Sky High AU I didn't know I needed! I love how this isn't a carbon copy of the movie but uses each character's strengths and weaknesses- and it's also just a very cute magic high school AU, which is just the cherry on top!

Son of a Gun by foux_dogue (book-verse)

@na-dineee: I hope you’ve all read 'It's not a secret' by now? I wasn't aware until it was published, but I needed that follow-up so badly! In this fic, which can be read as a standalone, Alex cuts down his work as a tattoo artist to take care of the kids (good thing Henry is loaded) and inevitably has to deal with the Milton-Saylor Academy Mom Squad. Absolutely wholesome, full of domesticity—just like, excellent!

You Set The Tone by @iboatedhere (book-verse)

@na-dineee: Alex is an emergency room doctor and Henry a pediatrician in the same hospital, and their animosity (read: infatuation) with each other began just as unfortunate as in canon. Their gradual coming together, intertwined with the medical emergencies, is wonderfully crafted. The tension is effortlessly maintained over 70k words, never feeling contrived. I was so moved while reading, it hurt phenomenally good, and I cried more than I have in a long time.

pick your poison babe (im poison either way) by sheWritesToLiveVicariously (book-verse)

@na-dineee: Co-workers to lovers with lots of emotion and a touch of angst—it never gets old, right? This 5+1 story is part of the "little moments that pass us by" series, and like all the stories in it, it's rather short, but full of feeling, very soft, and so touching. I'm already looking forward to hopefully many more fics in this series.

Down In The Valley by @aforgottennymph (book-verse)

@daisymae-12: This Stardew Valley AU was such a lovely read and as an avid stardew valley player, I thoroughly enjoyed all the little easter eggs and references to the game. Even if you’ve never played Stardew, this is still such a sweet and delightful read!!

[amimuu]

“Had I been given the choice…”

[COMICCCCCCCC!!!! Under the cut]

Bing. Bong. HITS YOU WITH EMOTIONAL ANGST BUS!!!!!

Goooodnight everyone guess who decided to randomly make another short comic just because—but this time like. It actually is a canon scene from VTA au. What? Which one? Idk Pushes notes under the imaginary rug have you checked behind the sofa?—Thats right—me.

So I locked in, and drew this in a day. Cuz it was a free day!!! Right as I thought oh shit here comes another art block BOOM this idea comes. And I’m actually so glad I finally drew it (it’s been sitting on my mind for a while TEEHEE).

So lamb lore dump?? They had a SISTER??? Who’s this Callum guy? What’s that little bell thing?

Well, I believe that at least 2 of this questions can be answered with a little speculation and connecting the dots. Picture me giving you little pats in the back. Go, go, it isn’t that hard I think. And as always you can always come scream at me in my inbox. I shall answer sjjdjdjd

Welp. Thats all for me folks. Rn it’s pretty late, so I’m getting some sleep. Until next time!

Ps: I was in fact listening to Radiohead while drawing this comic. Is that a bad thing? A good thing? Boy do I know. Do yall like the band?

[phyrestartr]

Prisoner of the Coast | Sukuna x M!Reader (WIP)

#SFW wip, reader is a water dragon, sukuna is a ronin, lore, mythology, there's plot, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, probably sad ending?, AU note: I JUST WANTED TO POST SOMETHING IDK

tags: @kamote-kuneho @prettorett @memedealer-exe @tr4nniez @better-imagination-9 @flowersatwork @memedealer-exe @silvern1006

Fear was not what he felt. Ryoumen Sukuna did not fear you who he faced; he was not a weak man. He was not a faint-hearted warrior. He was not a coward. But gleaming, ghastly eyes reminded him of mortality. Of the very human blood embedded in his veins. 

And the longer those round, moonlit eyes stared, the longer they sliced through the endless, empty blankness of the forgotten seaside palace, the louder that sound of drumming shook Sukuna's skull, against his ribs. But he was not afraid; he did not fear the gods. He would not fear one of their ilk in the flesh. 

The sound of water shifting echoed in the infinite void, dancing off distant walls as shards of light managed to catch on gentle, lapping wakes. Yet your head never moved an inch. Sukuna had seen other snakes do the same in his travels, keeping their heads still while their bodies squeezed and slithered–but their eyes were bound to fall closed. Yours stayed awake. Staring like the head of a Lion Dance puppet. Abnormal. Unaware of such abnormality. 

Sukuna gripped one of his swords tightly, ready to quick-draw if you'd chosen to strike. Gods were like that–hateful, horrible, honourless–and he expected nothing less from a beast like you; however, you'd been meandering towards him his entire stay, he realized too late. Slow. Quiet. Patient. The way one might approach a scared animal. 

I'm not getting paid enough for this shit. Sukuna found a smile, though. Maybe I’m getting paid too fuckin’ much. Who the hell does this thing need protecting from, huh? 

The question gnawed on his mind as your grandeur size became near-tangible–then, your eyes closed. Right when Sukuna started to make out the glint of scales against the moonlight of your eyes, the shimmering glow vanished, leaving only dappling sunlight streaming in from time-worn holes in the towering ceiling. 

“What do you want?” A man’s voice, your voice, asked from the shadows. The source was lower than before, ringing from a height so oddly human it gave Sukuna whiplash. 

“Ho? A shapeshifter?” Sukuna wondered, grinning. “You think you can take me on like that?”

“I don’t intend to ‘take you on’ at all, samurai.” You sighed and paced. Sukuna followed the sound of bare feet stepping on stones, coupled with the stiff drag of something scratching against the floor. Perhaps a tail? Perhaps fins? He didn’t know. The sunlight protecting him proved too stark against the shadows you dwelled within. 

“Someone has sent you here,” you decided. Sukuna felt your stare on him, though he could not see the twin lights. “My parents.” 

The grip on his blade lessened. “More or less. Said there was a godling that needed babysitting.” 

“Babysitting–?! The fucking audacity. Well, I promise you, this isn’t babysitting.” You snapped, bitter. 

Sukuna smirked. Never did he imagine a god-like thing would be so rough around the edges. “Then what would you call it?”

“Imprisonment.” You stepped toward the light when you said it, coming from an angle Sukuna didn’t expect, making him whirl in place and face the shadowed silhouette standing too close yet too far away. “And you’re my own, personal jailer.” Then, after a moment, you added, “Well. I guess it is glorified babysitting afterall. Expensive babysitting, at that. Congratulations on the easy money.” 

“That mean you’re gonna make this simple for me?” Sukuna asked. He tucked his arms into his sleeves as he waited for you to say something, but you only stepped back into the empty blackness filling your glorious cage. 

“Might as well,” your voice echoed, wilting, “I don’t care to leave this place anyway.” 

“‘N why the hell not?” He asked. 

But there was no answer; there was only the quiet splash of water, and twin ghost lights disappearing into the depths.

[woozisguitar]

GLITCH - lee jihoon x reader (f)

“I think there’s been a glitch”

Being in love with your favourite K-pop idol and pretending to be his girlfriend on stan twitter is all fun and games until you accidentally get yourself involved in a dating scandal with him. Let’s hope this glitch in the matrix ends well for both of you…

Pairing: idol!Lee Jihoon x afab fangirl!reader 

Genre: smau, fluff, humour, maybe angst?, idol!au

Warnings: swearing, some mature themes like bullying, death threats, etc. so 18+ (MDNI), will be adding chapter related warnings!

Status: ongoing

divider by @cafekitsune (which btw I loved! she has so many amazing dividers I think I spent almost an hour going through her blog to pick one 😭)

Masterlist!

0.1 - gang bang pew pew

0.2 - say the fuckin' name

1.0 - guess who's going to south korea!

2.0 - HOW COULD YOU????????

3.0 - a good plan

4.0 - DINO DONT TALK TO YOUR DAD LIKE THAT

5.0 - ...please use Pinterest!

6.0 - petnames

7.0 - the lore runs deep

A/N: hi hi this is my first smau and i'm super excited to put this out. hope you all like it! you can be added to the taglist by filling this form. incase, you cannot access it, feel free to send me an ask!

[arjwrites]

Back On the Beach- Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Reader and the Winchesters find themselves at the beach for a rare day off after a long string of difficult hunts. Something about the special day changes things forever. Warnings: Some language and angst but nothing crazy. A/N: Nothing heals my heart more than a happy Dean Winchester. Hope you enjoy <3 Another hunt was in the books. That was the third one this week- you'd lost track beyond that. You and the Winchesters had definitely been “cranking and ganking,” as Dean had been calling it, but you all were exhausted to say the least. No rest for the wicked, though. When you arrived back at the motel after taking out the vamp nest, it seemed like Sam had already found another hunt, and all of you prepped to ship out in the morning.  

You woke after a near restless night, your entire body weighed down by a lack of sleep. Getting up and into the shower felt like moving through Jell-O, so you couldn’t even imagine how Sam and Dean felt. Even more so Dean, who had blamed himself for one of the casualties of last night’s hunt. Before climbing into your bed the night before, you had given him a tight hug. “We can’t save everyone,” you reminded him with a gentle whisper. But you still heard him pacing the whole night- he didn’t so much as sit, let alone lay down and close his eyes. So you were up all night, partially from worry and partially because of the noise he was making. And if you had been kept up, you knew Sam had been too. That’s why you were surprised to hear some particularly chipper laughter and discussion between the two boys as you emerged from the shower. 

“Y/N! Bobby took over that case I found last night. He was in the area, so I guess we have a day off. I was thinking we could just take the time to get some rest, but Jimmy Buffet over here wants to hit the beach,” laughed Sam, hucking a packed bag into Dean’s chest. Dean caught it with a huff before holding it out to one side in order to show off his ensemble. 

“Hey, when in Margaritaville, right? How often do we get a case somewhere like this, huh? Let’s live a little.” 

Dean was decked out in Hawaiian patterned swim trunks clearly purchased from the tourist shop down the street, complete with a towel around his neck and a pair of gas station sunglasses. He was right, how often were you taking cases in Florida (seriously, enough freaky shit goes on there, yet somehow none of it is supernatural)? Your first instinct was to laugh, because he looked ridiculous, but simultaneously, your heart soared. To see Dean getting excited about something so mundane as a little beach trip was a small miracle. Things hadn’t been easy on the road recently, and it seemed like Dean had taken the brunt of it- the guilt, the sleepless nights, the long, long hours. It always hurt you to see the way he took it all, never giving himself any kindness or time to relax. So for you, it was an easy choice to humor him a little. And after a bit of convincing Sam (okay, maybe you and Dean begging and annoying the crap out of him), you got him on board too. 

 After remedial stops at the tourist shop for swimsuits for you and Sam, and the gas station for beer, sunglasses, and the sunscreen you insisted on (“Dean Winchester I have seen you take on some scary shit, so help me God, skin cancer will not be the thing that takes you out”), your crew finally found their way down to the water. And from the moment you stepped foot in the sand, the gentle crash of the waves washed the worries from your minds. It was rare day when you three could be normal. Normal people at the beach, with no monsters to kill, no world to save, no burdens weighing you down. 

It had been a picture perfect beach day. Seriously, Dean made sure you all got the full experience. He had picked up beach chairs and towels and a football for him and Sam to toss back and forth. You sat reclined in one of the chairs, reading a book (a non-lore book, you couldn’t remember the last time you read for pleasure) and watching over the boys, laughing at their interactions. After zoning into your story for a while, you lost track of the boys. Figuring they had gone exploring down the beach, you let yourself fall entirely engrossed in the cheesy romance you were reading. They didn’t call them beach reads for nothing! The protagonist was finally alone with the love interest, who was about to lean in for a kiss, until- the book went flying out of your hand, and you went flying over Dean’s shoulder. 

“HEY! Put me down!” Your words seemed frustrated, but your tone was anything but.

Dean raced down to the ocean as you bounced rhythmically off of his strong back. You playfully whacked at him in protest, but it was no use. Finally deep enough into the water, Dean gracefully slid you into his arms and tossed you under. After catching your bearings and emerging from the surf, you surveyed the scene. There was Sam, laughing his ass off. Dean held a smug look, arms crossed and a teasing smile. And you, now soaking wet, caught completely by surprise.

“I will KILL you Dean Winchester!” You ran after him, laughing and splashing. While you had chased down plenty of adversaries recently, there was something about this enemy that was compelling- pretty cute, even. 

That was the rest of your afternoon. Playing in the surf, munching on soggy gas station sandwiches, sharing a few beers, and your constant nagging at the boys to reapply sunscreen. Though none of you ever spoke it aloud, there was a shared agreeance that this was so nice. That it was a luxury to feel normal and that in that moment, you three were the luckiest in the world. And it was so fulfilling to sneak a glance at Dean and see him smiling, really smiling. You let your gaze linger, snapping a mental image and filing it away to remember for when things got tough again. You wished you could give him this peace more often.

The sun was setting on your perfect day, but the three of you remained on the beach, stalling the oncoming nightfall and thus, the return to your reality. After a serene while, Sam rose from his chair, wrapping a towel around himself and throwing you and Dean a knowing look.

“Alright, I’m going to head back to the motel and start packing our stuff. You guys stay down here a little longer.”

So there the two of you sat, side by side, leaned back in the chairs, toes dipping into the still-warm sand. You weren’t sure if the subtle pink of Dean’s cheeks was the beginnings of a sunburn or the effects of the day’s alcohol drawing the blood to his face. Warm, tipsy, sunkissed, happy. This was a Dean you wish you could get used to. 

“Thanks for taking us here today, Dean. It was a really great idea.” A soft smile graced your face as you reached your hand out, resting it on top of his own. 

Your voice drew Dean’s gaze over to you, and the look on his face triggered a pang of hurt in your chest. Though his lips were drawn in a tight smile, his eyes slightly watered and held in them all of the angst of the last few years. It was as if you could see each harrowing memory in their glassy reflection.

“What if we just stayed?” Dean asked, already knowing the answer. His question hung in the air for a moment without a repsonse. You couldn’t stay, you both knew that. There were always going to be people to save and things to hunt. Still, you deserved some peace every now and then. And that was all you wanted to give Dean in this moment- some peace. You wove your fingers into his and pulled him to his feet, meeting him with an embrace. He wrapped his arms around you and continued.

“Obviously we can’t. But, what if we did. You, me, Sammy. We could do this every day. I mean, we’d have to get jobs, but even that would feel like a day at the beach compared to… everything else. We’d be so happy,” he sighed.

“We’re hunters, Dean. We’ve gotta make our own happy.” 

“You make me happy.”

That was all you ever asked for. Dean Winchester, in your arms, happy- and because of you, no less. In that moment, you decided that this would be your own personal slice of heaven. A moment you could return to as often as you wanted- something that could never be taken from you. A perfect instance that could remain untouched by the horrors of your world. Everything in this difficult life had lead up to this moment, and every day from here on out you would exist in a world in which you made Dean happy. 

With the kind of sweetness that brought tears to your eyes, Dean brought his hand to your cheek, cupped it gently as if it were the most precious thing in the world, and joined his lips with yours. They fit in the way you always knew they would, and the touch sparked the feeling you had always imagined it would. It wasn’t nerves or butterflies. It was so incredibly tranquil. Kissing Dean, finally kissing Dean, felt like bathing your troubles away in the ocean. The hurt, blood, sweat, and tears pooled off of you, and you felt clean, new, at peace. You knew that this wouldn’t fix everything, for either of you. Both of you had your demons, and you’d both be facing plenty more. But from this point on, you could return to this moment- return to each other, and feel your worries wash away. You could come back to the beach for a short while, and things would be okay. You could make your own happy, together.

[nattikay]

wooooo they have proper refsheets

massive lore dump under the cut

Might as well start with Neynari. Probably the most striking thing about her visually is that she has a condition called leucism, which causes an underproduction of pigment. In Neynari's case, her leucism is a random mutation that resulted in the malfunction of her pigment-producing cells, rather than a genetic trait inherited from her family. Needless to say the clan was quite surprised when she was born hrh

Speaking of which, Neynari was born in the Aranahe clan to a couple by the names of Seylana and Vontxu. She was an only child and has an especially close relationship with her mother. Her father, Vontxu, was very quiet and reserved; he rarely spoke and was difficult to get to know. Seylana found his soft demeanor charming, but while Neynari loves her father and knows he loves her too, his personality made it harder for her to bond with him, so she was never quite as close to him as she was to her mother.

Her pale skin makes her a poor hunter--prey can see her coming from a mile away--but she more than makes up for her lack of hunting ability with excellent craftsmanship. Growing up in the Aranahe clan she is of course well versed in weaving and dyeing, but her true passion is beading. She absolutely loves making beads of all varieties and incorporating them into her weaving projects. Vontxu is actually the one who first taught her how to make them, and it was one of the few activities she felt she and her father could bond over. She used to sit for hours in the weaver's den with him, not speaking, just carving beads to their hearts' content.

One day a group of Aranahe artisans, Neynari among them, set off on a trading route to visit the Anurai clan. Neynari knew the Anurai clan also had a reputation as skilled artisans and was keen to compare their crafts. It was on this trip that she met Se'txelu...

(rewinds tape recorder) alright let's talk about Se'txelu now hrh. I mentioned how Neynari has a condition called leucism. Well, Se'txelu has the opposite: melanism (or I guess for a Na'vi it would be called cyanism). So while Neynari's body underproduces pigment, Se'txelu's overproduces it. Unlike Neynari whose condition was a random mutation, Se'txelu's is one that I headcanon as a rare but established recessive trait among his clan, the Anurai (actually google tells me that irl melanism is dominant but shhhhhh this is imaginary alien version I can do what I want with it lol). This Pandoran version of the condition, in my headcanon, requires just the right combo of genes to show up in the phenotype, so while several of the Anurai are carriers of the gene(s), it's very rare to have more than two or three indivduals who actually display it living in the clan at the same time, and sometimes there are none at all. At the time of this "story" there are only two: Se'txelu himself, and the current tsahìk, Awlun (who happens to be his great-aunt.) Before them, the most recent person to have it was Se'txelu's great-grandfather. 

The Anurai don't use human terms like melanism or cyanism of course; they refer to this condition as txonleng (shortened from txonä ta'leng, meaning "skin of night"), and because the dark color resembles the hide of the mighty palulukan which the Anurai canonically revere, it is generally believed that individuals born with txonleng are blessed by Eywa and destined to be legendary hunters, especially nocturnal hunters...which there may be a sliver of truth to, since they are naturally better at blending into the shadows.

In Se'txelu's case, though....well, he is good at camouflage, but alas, he's also kinda clumsy, which kinda cancels out any stealth bonus granted by his condition 😅 Despite his clumsiness, he is still a decent hunter at least, albeit a long ways off from "legendary" status (uh oh, potential source of angst for this usually happy-go-lucky dork).

When the Aranahe artisans visited his clan to trade, Neynari immediately caught Se'txelu's attention. He'd never seen anyone who looked like her before, and on top of that, she was quite beautiful. He was infatuated immediately. Lucky for him, she took notice of him too (they both kinda stand out in a crowd lol). Now, while Se'txelu had never seen anyone with leucism like Neynari, he had met two other people with his own condition, txonleng—his great-grandfather (although his memories of him are hazy since he was quite young when he died (of old age)), and Awlun (who of course is still alive and kicking)—so though his condition was rare he had never really felt alone because of it. Neynari, on the other hand, had never seen another Na'vi who wasn't standard blue, so meeting someone else who stood out like that was shocking and intriguing. 

The Aranahe trading party stayed with the Anurai for about a week. Se'txelu tried to work up the nerve to actually talk to Neynari. One day, she noticed him up in a tree and waved at him. Remember when I said Se'txelu was clumsy? Well, he tried to wave back...but in doing so let go of the branch he was gripping and fell out of the tree. Onto his face. And lost a tooth in the process. 

Neynari felt awful because she felt like the accident was her fault, and she came to check on Se'txelu once his bloody mouth had been cleaned up. But despite the initial awkward guilt, with that incident the ice, much like Se'txelu's face, was broken lol. They ended up talking for a long time after that, and clicked pretty hard. Neynari even gave him the joking nickname Sre'tìkelu ("tooth-lack") in reference to the now permanent gap in his smile. They continued to bond over the next few days, and when it came time for the Aranahe party to return home, Neynari found herself not wanting to join them...

Neynari's closest friend back home had always been her mother, Seylana. But tragically, Seylana had passed away of sickness about two years prior to Neynari's trip to the Anurai. With the loss of her mother back home, but the promise of a potential future with Se'txelu here, Neynari was wondering if she should stay and ask to join the Anurai clan...but would that be fair to her ancestors, and to the clan who had raised and loved her?

The night before the Aranahe were meant to leave, Neynari asked Se'txelu to take her to the nearest spirit tree. She connected to Eywa and spoke with Seylana's spirit, pouring her heart out to the memory of her mother and explaining her dilemma. Seylana comforted her daughter and encouraged her to stay with the Anurai. She wanted her daughter to have a bright and happy future and if she found that in another clan, so be it. 

Now with her mother's blessing, Neynari spoke with Awlun, the Anurai tsahìk, as well as with the leader of the Aranahe trading party, and explained the whole situation. She was allowed to join the Anurai, and she and Se'txelu began courting officially, and became mates not long after.

But wait! All these words and we haven't even mentioned Rolukx yet! Rolukx is Se'txelu's older brother, by roughly five or six years. When the boys were young, their father, Tanu, was involved in a hunting accident and almost died. He survived and is fine now, save a few scars, but there was a period of time where his condition was critical and his survival unclear. Se'txelu doesn't really remember this incident because he was too young, but Rolukx does, and it really affected him. Up until that point, he, like many young children, thought of his dad as invincible...this brush with death shattered that innocent belief for poor Rolukx; he became a lot more nervous and paranoid about safety and, well, mortality. One way he dealt with this trauma was becoming very protective of his little brother, even after they became adults (and to be fair, his worries over Se'txelu's safety aren't entirely unfounded because, again, clumsy dork lol). 

Though he spends a lot of his time keeping an eye on his brother, Rolukx is actually a musician and instrument maker by trade, and he's very good at it. The knife he carries is not (usually) used for hunting or cooking, but rather for whittling bone (and other materials, but Anurai clan so mostly bone lol) into intricate flutes and whistles. He plays them beautifully as well, but unfortunately suffers from stage fright and dislikes playing in front of others. The only person he'll consistently play for is his mother Lunaya, who was always very encouraging of his talents (he's a bit of a mama's boy).

Rolukx was a little wary of Neynari at first, as he felt like Se'txelu was rushing into this relationship with some random girl from another clan way too fast. But Se'txelu seemed happy, and when Neynari showed genuine interest in Rolukx's whittling skills, offering to teach him some Aranahe beading and weaving tips in exchange for some whittling and music ones, he warmed up to her and they wound up being pretty good friends, so Rolukx approves of his brother's relationship. 

Lunaya, the boys' mother, happens to also love beaded accessories and hit it off with Neynari right away. Neynari appreciates having her around because she reminds her of her own mother, even if Lunaya is much more extroverted and eccentric than Seylana was. 

(deep breath) sooooooooooo.....I think that covers most of it. those are my dumb dumbs, enjoy

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

the babbit masterpost

HELLO welcome to the Babbit's Blog masterpost!!! On this post you'll find some fun facts about yours allegedly (me <33), some ref's for my different 'sona's, and a couple links to my fics and whatnot! Are you ready? No?? Excellent neither am i let's do this

Meet the Babbits!: the self-inserts/personas

the first ref is for my general/most commonly used persona, Babbit! They aren't really an anthro/furry as much as they are a humanoid with the head of a rabbit. I like to think of this one as the 'me' that's in my head- the purest form of my thoughts and feelings, but not the solid real-life me. The second ref is my self-insert persona, Rabbit, the one i picture using most often when i'm reading a fic or imagining a self-insert scenario lol. This one is like the me that people see and meet and speak to in real actual life, if that makes sense. It's the way I come across to people and all of the things I wish I could iron out of my crumpled up real-self <3 The third is a much more specific 'sona, Hazel, who started off as a FNaF:SB animatronic self-insert. She does have a backstory and lore now, which i think makes her more of an OC than a self-insert, but a lot of her is still me and a lot of what she experiences in her backstory is from my life/instills the same feelings that were taken away from things that happened to me, so I think she kinda counts enough to put a ref for her here sdkjfsdhfj (Why the different names?: makes things a little easier, and they hold meaning to me symbolically, I guess!)

Content!: Here's a short list of my various fics that will get updated as I create more! (it was, in reality, not fine.): FNaF Sun/Moon x Reader fanfic, gender neutral, for general audiences, fluff-fest, idiots to lovers "You're the new tech/repairman at the Fazbear Mega Pizzaplex, unfortunately. Your first task? To make the Daycare Attendant into two separate animatronics. It's an amazing opportunity, really, and there is nothing you love more than getting a chance to really work with such tech! The only bad part is that you don't know how to tell anyone that you just might be in over your head. (You are extremely in over your head.)" After Everything Was Fixed (but you were still broken): AU FNaF Sun/Moon x (Animatronic) Reader, gender neutral, read with caution, angst, harm to sentient robots, traumatized main character, hurt/comfort slow burn, romance slow burn "The virus was gone. Everyone was fixed. You had been put back together. It's a time for a new beginning, to do things right this time, to wash away the past and paint a better future. Their memories of the infection had- mercifully- been taken away from them. Yours had not. He doesn't understand why you try to avoid him. Even if you could tell him, you're not sure you would. You want to be his friend, but it's difficult; every time you see him, you remember the hundreds of times he killed you." A fic where you are a repairman-themed STAFFbot, taking place post-virus. In the past, Moon, infected by the virus, took delight in attacking and dismantling the reader during the night. Now, in the present, you find yourself burdened by the memories of the past while everyone around you has no recollection of the events. It gets more complicated as Sun and Moon, both now cleared of the virus, grow curious of you. This fic will follow a series of arcs, presently on arc one. For anyone curious, feel free to send an ask about the arcs in 'After Everything Was Fixed'! The Sun, the Moon, and the Blazing Comet (title subject to change): AU FNaF Sun/Moon/Eclipse x Reader, gender neutral, teen and up audiences, travel/journey, betrayal, hurt/comfort slowburn, reconciling, themes of breaking the mold, found family (TBA) Hold My Broken Hands (title subject to change): AU FNaF Sun/Moon x Reader, gender neutral, mature audiences, dark romance, dark comedy, severe bodily harm, mutilation, murder, obsessive behavior, possessive behavior, lovesick (TBA)

My AU's!: i'm going to make a Babbit-AUs-Masterpost and then put the link here i swear, i just have so many im sorry jdfhsjdfhs (like more than twenty)

Fandoms!: I enjoy, have been in, made or make content for: Pokemon Undertale FNaF Creepypasta (YEAH I KNOW LET ME LIVE OKAY) My Little Pony (I KNOW OKAY LEAVE ME ALONE) Steven Universe Star Trek Warrior Cats i'm sure theres more but i just forgot everything i have ever liked wheeeeeze

Whomst the hell?: HI I'm Rabbit! Or Bones! Or Babbit! Or Avarice/Ava, if you want to go for a more legitimate-sounding name. I'm 24 years old, prefer to use they/them pronouns, and so, so incredibly ace. I've been drawing as long as I've had the ability to hold a pen, writing since I was in grade school, and being a plague to the ones around me since the beginning of time! If you've seen my art, its probably from the absolute mountain of fluffy-wuffy love-dovey (y/n) x Sundrop/Moondrop/Eclipse doodles I've been sharing for several years now sdfjhsdj. If you've heard of my fics, it was probably the one I made just for fun that's now turned into an actual fanfiction that I enjoy writing, the silly-lovey-fluff incarnate (it was, in reality, not fine.) !

Likes n Dislikes!: I'm a sucker for sap, fluff, and lots and lots of love-dovey bullshit! I also like stories about finding oneself and monsters being befriended or loved. I like space, aliens, robots, the odd and strange, injecting humanity into things not human, monsters, creatures, animals, the fae, concepts of spirits and karma and the afterlife, and more! I dislike 'fanservice', most anime tbh LOL it's not personal I just don't enjoy it im srry, FLY BABIES i know they have an actual name but i hate that word too pls just dont i will scream, sexually aggressive/forceful content/characters, being made to feel small, dumb, or trapped,

Other!: I have a pretty high gross-out tolerance! I also have a pretty high 'wow that's messed up huh' tolerance, in that sometimes I will just say stuff that's super grim or dark or messed up and not realize it lmao. I am full of random facts and anecdotes, especially weird or gross ones! sometimes i get on tangents that can go for actual hours so pls forgive that lol

WARNINGS: THIS BLOG MAY FEATURE CONTENT BASED ON/RELATED TO THEMES OF GUILT, CHILDHOOD LOSS, GRIEF, SELF HATRED, DISCONNECTION FROM REALITY/SELF, TRAUMA, AND SEVERE DEPRESSION/ANXIETY. YES I AM GETTING HELP. YES I AM OKAY. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND UNDERSTANDING.

bonus persona: crybaby

[anzulvr]

karma x reader — fluff, angst? (Kinda) if they had a relationship like Hanako and yashiro,, SPOILERS FOR TBHK guys I’m supposed to be doing one of the thirty requests but I thought of this and I couldn’t help it I’m sorry

Karma and you are the epitome of the scene in TBHK where Hanako goes “And guess who gets to be my little helper!” and Yashiro replies “it’s me… I’m the helper…” in the most disappointing voice as she gets her cheeks squished by him.

(If you haven’t seen it look it up on YouTube or tiktok!)

You’d be like Yashiro and Karma would be more like Hanako because of how often he gets you wrapped up in his crazy plans, most days he does something stupid and needs you to be apart of it.

Karmas personality is very bold and he definitely takes jokes too far sometimes which is why I think a confession from him could be kind of messy and in parallel to the scene where Hanako accidentally makes Yashiro cry by fake-confessing to her as apart of his plan. (Look the scene up, he stages a confession, Yashiro is disappointed and he teases her about it not realizing it upset her) — Karmas version of this would be an assassination plan on Korosensei where he lores Korosensei to whatever place planned by faking a confession to you (cause Korosensei is super nosy and would definitely snoop around given the chance no matter how sketchy things seem), Karma forgets to fill you in and now you’re hurt when you realize the confession was all apart of a stupid assassination attempt.

“Haha can you believe he fell for that, still couldn’t kill him that sucks, hey- [Name]? Dont tell me you’re disappointed the confession was staged.” He laughs but that comes to a quick stop when he realizes that was exactly the reason why you looked so sad.

He reacts differently depending on your reaction, if you’re mad at him he’ll let you tell him off, for the first time he doesn’t argue back because he realizes he seriously messed up. He asks Nagisa and to help him figure out how to win back your trust, when Nagisa’s answer is “you should just be honest about your feelings.” Karma decides to get advice from Ms.Jelavitch instead, because he’s not up to being mushy just yet. (He ends up being mushy regardless he will swallow his pride after seeing you all frowny)

If you’re more sensitive and you start crying (real) he’ll be even more lost on how to react. He’ll apologize frantically and doesn’t realize when he’s starting to say things that he’d consider cheesy in any other moment. He tells you it’s not that the confession was fake, and how he meant every word, “I didn’t think you reciprocated, I thought I could make my feelings useful for some assassination attempt without realizing you felt that way…”

pretty short sorry :) but have this 🩷!

[thegreymarveljedi]

Reunited At Last

(Rebels! Rex x Reader)

Okay! So this is my first time posting a fanfic here and I’m so nervous that something is going to go wrong so please be patient with me!

This is a Rebels! Rex x Reader story with a flashback to the Clone Wars Era. Bear with me for some non lore accurate stuff because it’s fanfic, it doesn’t have to be completely accurate.

The reader and Ahsoka are go friends in this and the reader also knows The Bad Batch as well. She went through Order 66 and stuff so please be kind to me with how I’ve written it.

This fanfic also heavily relies on dialogue directly from Star Wars Rebels Season 2, Episode 3, The Lost Commanders. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED FOR LUCAS FILMS.

Warnings: 18+, Minor DNI, Angst, anxiety attack, allusions to PTSD, hurt/comfort, talk of force visions, SMUTTTTT, unprotected p in v sex, creampie, oral F-receiving, teasing, pet names, order 66 scene, canon-typical violence, pregnancy, force bond and connections work how I need them too, swearing, happy ending.

Words: 13.0k

—————

Mando’a Translations

Ner ad - My son

Buir - Mother (in this context)

Oh ner ad. Udesiir. Haalur ti ni ad’ika - oh my son. Relax. Breathe with me little one

Cyar’ika - Darling

Cyare - beloved

Dala - Woman

Ori’vod - older brother

Di’kuts - idiots

Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum - I love you

Ner Alor’ad - my captain

Su cuy’gar - you’re still alive!

Sha’jika al’verde - Cease fire commander!

Udes verde - Rest soldiers

Su cuy’gar ner alor’ad - you’re alive my captain

—————

I opened my eyes to the feeling of a weight on my chest, the blankets on my cot being rustled before they settled back down. I felt an arm wrapped around my stomach and squeezing gently. I smiled softly and pulled my little, not so little anymore, boy into my arms, scratching his head as he breathed a sighed.

“Did I wake you mom?” He asked and I smiled and shook my head.

“It’s okay ner ad. What’s on your mind?” I asked and my son Cody, peeked up from where he lay in my arms.

“I-I-“ he stuttered, words failing to come out. I pulled him into my arms a little tighter, just holding him and stroking his hair. He calmed down as the minutes ticked by, not saying a word yet but I didn’t mind, I was here for him.

“I had a vision ma..” he said quietly and I tensed briefly before relaxing again, holding my son a little tighter. I took a deep breath before sitting up with Cody in my arms. I manoeuvred him so that he was sat beside me, my arms still around him.

“What was it about honey?” I asked quietly, still in shock that my 14 year old was having visions.

“ I -I think it was about…dad..” he said hesitantly. I flinched a little harder at that and pulled Cody into me even more, trying to hold back the tears that were beginning to form.

“W-what about your father?” I asked quietly and sniffed, trying not to think about the man I love. Or loved I guess.

“I think he’s alive buir,” Cody whispered and I finally let go of him, standing up abruptly only to collapse to the floor.

“Mom!” Cody yelped and came to my side, trying to help me. I was shaking now, having flashbacks to the last time I saw my beloved husband. My breathing became faster and my hands began to clam up.

“Kanan!” Cody yelled as he came in front of me, holding my face in his hands.

“Mom! Mom look at me,” He said and my eyes shifted rapidly to his before darting around the room more, trying to ground myself. Just then the door to our quarters swung open and Kanan appeared, the rest of the Ghost crew in the door way.

“(Y/N)!” Kanan said and came to Cody’s side in front of me, holding my shoulders gently yet firmly. He turned back to look at Hera who knew exactly what that meant. She ushered Zeb and Sabine to the kitchenette to get some water and rations as Ezra came into the room and sat next to Kanan.

“(Y/N), can you hear me?” He said and I felt myself nod, my eyes still darting around. Cody sat there frozen, knowing that mentioning his dad was a difficult subject but not wanting to lie to me.

“What happened Cody?” Ezra asked quietly as Kanan continued trying to pull me out of my panic attack. He held my hands now, trying to let me know that I was safe.

Cody moved over to be closer to Ezra, trying not to trigger me with his words. He leaned over and whispered to Ezra what happened, Ezra looking at him with wide eyes once he finished the explanation.

“(Y/N), you’re okay. Do you know where you are?” Kanan asked and I nodded.

“T-the Gho-ost-“ I stuttered out, my hand blindly reaching for Cody’s hand. He grabbed mine immediately, holding it in his.

“Okay, that’s a start. Do you remember who I am?” He asked next, hands back on my shoulders. I nodded again.

“K-Kanan Jarrus, knight of the Jedi - Jedi order.,” I said, blinking rapidly trying to focus my eyes on Kanan.

“And who are you?” He asked quietly and I closed my eyes, focusing on my surroundings. I held Cody’s hand in mine, my other hand finding purchase on Kanans shoulder and my head finding a place on Ezra’s shoulder. I slowly exhaled before my eyes opened again, lifting my head and looking at Kanan then Ezra and finally looking to my son.

“(Y/N) (L/N), Jedi Master and mother to a beautiful son,” I said and a small smile graced my lips. Cody smiled and launched himself at me as the door to our quarters opened up again, Hera, Sabine and Zeb standing there with some water and rations.

“You okay (Y/N)?” Hera asked and I nodded, my arms wrapped tightly around my Cody, his around me.

“What happened?” Sabine asked and Ezra stood up and took the rations and water from her and Zeb, handing them to Kanan who placed them on the floor next to me. Ezra led Zeb and Sabine to the common room to explain the situation, Hera staying back to make sure I was okay.

“I’m okay Hera. Thanks to you guys,” I said and Cody began to let go.

“I’m sorry mom,” He whispered and hung his head, sniffling.

“Oh ner ad. Udesiir. Haalur ti ni ad’ika,” I said. Cody took a deep breath, following my breathing until his tears stopped forming. Kanan sat there with us, just his presence in the force enough to calm me down. Kanan had become like a brother to me in these last few years, helping me to raise Cody to be a kindhearted boy. Hera was like a sister to me, always making sure that the Ghost was a safe space for me to be. Zeb, Ezra, and Sabine I saw as my kids too. I always wanted to be strong for them.

“You okay now (Y/N)?” Kanan asked, placing a hand on my shoulder. I looked to him and nodded, slowly letting go of Cody and standing up with Kanan’s help.

“I’m okay now. Thank you for your help,” I said and Kanan smiled, pulling me in to a hug.

“Anytime. You would do the same for me,” He replied and Hera walked into the room and pulled me in for a hug too.

“Get some rest (Y/N), we’ll be meeting up with the fleet soon. And I think Ahsoka will be there,” Hera said and Cody lit up at the mention of his Aunt.

“We’re meeting up with Auntie Ahsoka?” He asked, beaming from ear to ear. Kanan and Hera smiled and brought Cody in for a hug, enjoying the child like innocence that Cody displayed.

“We will be soon enough,” Hera replied and Cody jumped coming over to me and giving me a hug. I smiled at my son, happy to see him excited. I then looked to Kanan and Hera who shared a happy look, Kanan wrapping his arm around her.

“Come on kiddo, let’s let your mom get some sleep okay?” Kanan said and Cody nodded but didn’t let go right away. I smiled down at my boy and kissed his forehead, scratching his head a little.

“I’ll be okay Cody, you go hang out with the crew. I’m just going to lay down for a little longer,” I said and Cody nodded, pulling away from our hug slowly. I smiled at him as he left the room with Kanan, Hera staying behind for another minute. She turned to me, giving me a look I know all to well.

“I know Hera. But I can’t help it. He was my first love and it’s still painful,” I said and Hera nodded, pulling me into a hug.

“I know it is but you’ll have to tell him eventually,” She said and I sighed, nodding because I knew she was right. I just didn’t want to think back to that day. Hera pulled away from the hug and placed her hand on my shoulder.

“Get some rest. Someone will come get you when we rendezvous with the fleet,” Hera said and I nodded, watching as she walked out and the door slid closed behind her.

I sighed and moved back towards my cot, sitting on the edge and wrapping a blanket around myself. I sat there, deep in thought. Thinking about my beloved while trying not to think about the last time we saw one another. My eyes began to water as I recalled the day we were forced to part.

~Flashback~

“Cyar’ika~” Rex said in a quiet, sing song voice as my eyes squinted, the sun light coming through the curtains of my room and illuminating the room. I smiled and kept my eyes closed, not wanting this moment to end. Rex wrapped his arms around me and pulled me back towards him, kissing my neck and shoulders. I giggled a little and stretched, taking a deep breath before turning to face my love.

Rex smiled at me as I turned around, loosening his hold to let me flip over and face him. Once I was facing him, he took the opportunity to kiss my lips. I smiled into the kiss and held his face, not wanting the moment to end.

“Good morning Rex~” I said quietly, smiling as we pulled away from the kiss. Rex kissed my forehead before pulling back to look at me.

“Good morning Cyar’ika,” He said and held me a little tighter. We stayed like that for a little longer, talking quietly with one another and laughing about whatever we found on the holonet. Our joyful atmosphere was shattered by the beeping of Rex’s comlink. Rex groaned and tried to bury his face into my neck, not wanting to leave this moment.

After a minute of the com going off it stopped and we both breathed a sigh. Before it started going off again cause us both to groan. Rex finally picked it, his arm still wrapped around me as he answered the person in the other end.

“Captain Rex here,” He said and there was a chuckle on the other end. Rex rolled his eyes with a smile before repeating himself, just for appearance sake.

“Rex, my man. We’ve got a new mission,” Anakin voice came over the com, playful yet serious as always. Rex groaned and buried his face in my neck, hearing Anakin laugh from the comlink.

“Do we have to?” Rex said like a child cause me to burst out laughing. Anakin was historically laughing as well, not being able to keep his composure.

“Yes we do Captain. You’ve got one more hour until we leave,” Anakin said and Rex nodded to himself.

“Of course General,” He replied, wanting to savour the next hour.

“Hey (Y/N)!” Anakin added with a chuckle.

“Hi Anakin,” I replied, still trying to catch my breath.

“I hope you’re taking good care of my captain,” He said and Rex groaned while I laughed again.

“He’s in good hands Skywalker, no need to worry,” Anakin laughed again and shook his head.

“Alright, I believe. We’ll see you when we get back from our mission,” Anakin said. I nodded and gave Rex a kiss on the cheek as he sat there in embarrassment.

“Alrighty Skywalker. Be safe and tell Obi-wan I say hello,” I replied and Anakin responded with a “will do!” Before the line cut out. Once I was sure the com was off I burst into giggles again, holding my stomach as Rex pouted with a small smile.

Anakin knew of our relationship and besides Padme, and my commander, no one knew. Though I’m pretty sure my captain and ARC Trooper do. If so, they haven’t said anything to my other men which I’m thankful for. We wanted to keep it that way but because Anakin and I were such close friends it was obvious that we would tell him when our relationship started. He always teased Rex but he knew how to keep quiet around his other men, not wanting any of them to accidentally say anything to anyone else.

“You’re so cute Rex.” I said and his cheeks turned pink, still not used to being complimented even after being together for two years. He sat up and stretched, scratching the back of his head. I sat up as well and crawled over to him, draping my arms over his shoulders. He smiled and held my arms as I kissed his neck. He groaned quietly and tilted his head to the side, giving me a little more room. I smirked against his neck as I bit down softly, drawing a moan from him.

“Cyar’ika~” he growled and I smirked before pulling away, dodging his attempt to grab me. I laughed and stood up as he reached for me again, smirking a little.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish Cyare~” he growling, managing to grab my arm and pull me back to the bed, maneuvering us so he was on top with me pinned beneath him.

I sighed as he leaned down and kissed me, his tongue finding its way into my mouth. I groaned as he kissed down to my neck, returning the bite I gave to him. My back arched as he left a few more marks on my chest.

“R-Rex~” I stuttered out as he let go of my arms, moving down and holding my hips as he stared at me. I looked down at him and watched as he smirked, pulling my panties to the side and licking a strip up my pussy. My head fell back against the pillows and my hand found its way to his buzzed head.

“Fuck~” I whimpered as he did it again, and again and again. I was putty in his hands. I tugged on his arm, hoping to get him back up to me. He understood what I wanted and sat up, removing my panties as I removed my shirt. He quickly stripped himself of his blacks, wanting the same thing I did.

I helped him with his shirt and once it was over his head and on the floor, I pulled him down for heated kiss. He reciprocated immediately, fumbling slightly before he positioned his cock at my cunt. He pushed in quickly, breaking the kiss as we both moaned at the amazing feeling.

He began thrusting fast, gripping my hips as he went, pounding me into the bed. I moaned his name over and over, relishing in the feeling of him inside me.

“Fuckkk you feel so good around me cyar’ika~” he groaned and lifted my legs over his shoulders, his cock reaching even deeper. I threw my head back and screamed, thankful I had a soundproof apartment away from the temple. My hands gripped the sheets, feeling myself squirt and cum before the blissful feeling set in. Rex groaned and kept thrusting, even with his bottom half soaked in my juices.

“Re-Rex!” I cried out as he managed to get me to cum again. Or was it just a continuation of my first orgasm? I couldn’t tell as I felt Rex empty himself inside me, his cock pulsing for a minute more before it finally began to get soft.

We panted, our heart beating fast but together, our breathing syncing up the exact same way. He gently let my legs go, easing them down to the bed and leaning over me to give me a keldabe kiss. I smiled and wrapped my arms around him as he withdrew his cock from inside me.

“That felt amazing cyare~” he whispered and I nodded, leaning in and giving him a proper kiss, he returned it just as sweetly, smiling into it as I gave him a squeeze. We both pulled away, content in the moment before we were interrupted once again, this time by my commlink going off.

Rex groaned as I giggled, reaching over and answering the com.

“(L/N) here?” I answered and there was snickering from the other side before a stern voice shushed it.

“General. We have a briefing in an hour before we ship out,” My Clone commander Chomp said and there was more snickering. I laughed and shook my head, bringing my hand up to scratch Rex’s head. He went limp in my arms, practically purring into my neck while still trying to keep quiet.

“Alright Chomp. I’ll be there soon. And Manik and Spike know I can hear them laughing right?” I asked him, listening as my captain and Arc trooper burst out into even louder laughter. I could feel Chomp rolling his eyes as he scolded his younger brothers.

“That’s enough you too. Or I increase your daily work out,” He barked and the other two calmed down, managing to stand at attention while still smiling.

“Fine by me sir. Maybe that means we can find a beautiful dala like our Ori’vod has,” Spike said. I could sense their smiles as they thought about it, causing me to laugh.

“Alright you di’kuts. Enough. What our general does in her personal time is none of our business. Now if you two want to enjoy your shore leave after our mission I suggest you zip it,” Chomp said sternly and Manik and Spike finally shut up. I was laughing hysterically and I could feel Rex trying to hold his laughter as well.

“I’ll see you guys soon,” I said quickly and cut the comms. Rex and I sat there for a moment before we busted out laughing, both of us not being able to hold it in. Finally after another ten minutes of laying down, we both got up and got dressed, making sure that the marks we gave one another were not visible.

I helped Rex adjust his armour, making sure nothing was pinching his skin. He in turn helped me straighten out my robes, laying them in place expertly as if they had not been haphazardly thrown on the floor the night before. We smiled at each other and gave one final kiss before Rex had to leave.

“Hopefully this war will be over soon and we can escape to another planet,” I said and Rex nodded in agreement.

“Soon cyar’ika. Hopefully soon. And then we can start a family,” He evened and I blushed, knowing exactly what Rex was thinking. He smirked and pulled me in for another heated kiss before I had to push him away, not wanting to get caught up in the moment and carried away.

“Oh don’t worry ner alor’ad. You will have all the time in the world to see me pregnant. I promise you that,” I said and Rex buried his face in my neck and groaned.

“Speak like that and you’ll give me a hard on again,” He said and I could feel the smallest amount of pressure from his codpiece. I laughed and hugged him, not wanting the moment to end.

We pulled away from one another before Rex reached into one of the pouches on his belt and pulled out a necklace. My eyes went wide as I stared at it, the piece of jewelry simple yet gorgeous. Rex smiled sheepishly at me and he held it up, looking between the necklace and me. It was a silver chain with a small pendant, a sapphire gem in the middle with smaller diamond as around it.

“Rex…” I breathed out and he smiled.

“I wanted to get you something nice. I had a little help because we clones don’t make money but I want you to have something to remind you of me,” He said and I slowly reached for the necklace, Rex letting it rest in my hands. It had more weight on it than it looked and I wondered what it was made of. I ran my thumb over the gem before turning the pendant over, a gasp leaving lips as I stared at the jaig eyes engraved on the back.

“Oh Rex…” I whispered and he smiled an innocent smile at me.

“I-it’s made of beskar so you can wear it in the field and not worry about it falling off,” Rex said and I was still at a loss for words. He slowly took the necklace from my hands and walked around me, situating himself behind me.

I stood still ask Rex placed the necklace around my neck fastening the clip and adjusting it so that it was comfortable. I reached my hand up to feel the necklace, the slight weight on my neck comforting. I smiled as I turned to face him, wrapping my arms around his neck and hiding my face in his neck. His arms wrapped around me, giving me a gentle squeeze as we stayed there for what felt like an eternity. Finally we pulled away from one another and giggled together.

“Thank you Rex. It’s absolutely beautiful,” I breathed and Rex smiled.

“You’re worth it to me my love. It wasn’t easy but I called in a few favours.” He said and I smiled as I went in for another hug. “Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum Cyar’ika,” Rex said and I smiled as he gave me a Keldabe kiss.

“Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum ner Alor’ad. Be safe please,” I replied and Rex smiled, letting go and making his way to the door and out first, trying not to raise suspicion. He turned back to give me one more smile and a tiny salute before he disappeared out the door. I sighed as I was left to my own devices for a short time before I made my way out, taking my fighter and flying to the temple.

~Time Skip~

“General! We’ve just received word from general Kenobi! He has engaged General Gervious on Utapau,” Commander Chomp informed me as we wrapped up our own battle on the surface of Vassek.

“Very good commander. Let’s clean up here and get back to Coruscant. I want a celebratory drink for the end of the war!” I said and Chomp laughed, Manik and Spike joining in as they came up to us.

Just then my com went off and I excused myself to take the call.

“(L/N) here?” I said and I heard a small sigh of relief from the other end, a smiling gracing my face as I felt Rex’s relief.

“Just checking in on you. I heard about your battle and wanted to make sure you were okay,” he said and I smiled at his concern.

“No need to worry about me Rex. Takes a lot more than a few droids to take me down. How about you? How is everything in your campaign?” I asked and heard Rex take in a deep breathe before exhaling.

“U-um well, everything on Anaxes has been dealt with...” Rex said, a little hesitation in his voice. That concerned me because Rex was never this hesitant to talk about his missions before.

“What’s wrong Rex?” I ask softly and I heard another sigh.

“We found something on Anaxes that led us to Skako Minor and we…” before I could finish, I gasped.

“Skako minor?? Like home of the Techno Union Skako Minor??” I questioned, my heart pounding, wondering what could be so important that they had to go to the heart of the Techno Union.

“Yeah that one,” Rex said let out a small huffed laugh. I rolled my eyes and moved a little further away from my men.

“Rex it’s not funny. You could have been captured or at worse killed! Who okayed this mission? The council surely wouldn’t so I’m assuming Anakin didn’t have offi-” my rambling was cut off my Rex telling me something that I knew I couldn’t be mad at him for.

“Cyar’ika, Echo’s alive,” He breathed and my eyes widened, shock riddling my body. I had no words. I knew how much Echo’s death had affected my Captain and Fives when he was still here but to hear that he was alive was a shock and a relief.

“H-he is?” I whispered and I could feel Rex’s smile.

“He’s alive. Altered both physically and mentally but he is back with us,” Rex said then went on to explain what happened in full detail. He ended off by telling me that Echo had chosen to go with Clone Force 99 or The Bad Batch.

“That’s good. He is in good hands with Hunter and the others. Though I’m sure it will take Crosshair a while to warm up to him,” I chuckled and Rex laughed.

“Yeah, he’s a tough one to crack. But I’m sure Echo will be okay,” Rex said and I nodded, trying my best to reach Rex through the force and surround him with comfort.

“Thank you Cyar’ika,” He whispered and I smiled, knowing that I had reached him.

“Where are you now?” I asked and I heard a short intake of breath.

“I-I’m on Mandalore with half the 501st and the 332nd,” he said and once again I was dumbfounded before Rex went on to explain why. He explained how Ahsoka was back as well and how she was helping Bo Katan Kryze reclaim her home from Darth Maul. All of this information was overwhelming but I was just happy Ahsoka was alive and well.

“Tell her I say hello and to protect my captain,” I said and smiled, Rex letting out a short chuckle in return.

“I will. She is very happy for us and has promised not to let it slip,” Rex said and I gasped.

“You told her already?” I said and I could feel Rex’s embarrassment.

“Well, not really. She was my second in command for 2 years and she can read me like a book so it was pretty obvious to her,” Rex defended himself and I thought for a moment before nodding.

“I don’t know why I’m surprised, she was always a very perceptive Jedi,” I said and I couldn’t feel Rex nodding.

“Anyway, I have to go. We’re transporting Maul to Coruscant now,” Rex said quickly, I guess making sure no one knew who he was speaking to.

“Will do alor’ad. We just finished up here so we will also be making our way back to Coruscant. The next time I see you the war will be over,” I said with a big smile, happy that I could finally leave the order with Rex so that we could start a life together.

“Definitely cyare. Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum and I will see you back on Coruscant,” Rex said and I smiled even more.

“Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum Alor’ad,” I said and the transmission cut. I smiled and pocketed my com before making my way back over to my men, who were all loaded up in the gun ship and ready to head out.

~Time Skip~

We had been in hyper space for about an hour now when I felt an immense pain in my chest, like my heart had been grabbed and squeezed. I collapsed on the bridge, Chomp moving over to my side.

“General! Are you alright?” He asked and my head began to throb. I couldn’t answer him. I didn’t hear what else was said. The words being said sounded like they were being run through a blender. I felt our cruiser leave hyperspace but everything was still a blur.

“General can you hear me?” Chomps voice finally became a little clearer, though I could feel something terrible coming.

“Ready my ship and release my hyperspace ring. Disable tracking and divert power to the engines,” I practically whispered but my commander didn’t question it and order for a few troops to do as I asked.

“What’s happening (Y/N)?” Chomp whispered as he helped me up, Manik and Spike coming to my side as well.

“Something terrible is coming. And I need to be far away from here when it does,” I said and took a deep breath, trying to regain my strength.

“What’s coming general?” Spike said, a small note of fear in his voice. I looked at my three most trusted men, thinking about everything we had been through together.

“Come with me, the three of you. We haven’t much time,” I said and quickly began walking off the bridge and to the medbay. Chomp, Manik and Spike quickly followed, concerned for me but also curious as to what was happening.

When we made it to the medbay I ordered all personnel out, not giving anyone a chance to argue before they were ushered out by my men and the door sealed.

“(Y/N) please. What is going on?” Manik said and before I could answer, another wave of pain shot through me causing me to faulter, my head was pounded and I could hear screaming that was not my owe. I could hear master Windu, master Fisto and other masters being slaughtered. I shook my head and turned on the MRI scanner, making quick work.

“Take off your helmets and jam all transmissions to your commlinks and the cruiser. Someone is trying to turn you against me,” I said quickly as the machine powered on.

“General what is happening? Please talk to us!” Spike said and I turned to look at my men as they did what I instructed.

“I don’t know exactly what is happening Spike but I know something is wrong. I can feel it in the force and I need you three to trust me please,” I pleaded with them, going up and holding Spikes face in my hands. All three exchanged looks before nodding, Chomp stepping up first and laying on the scanner.

I started the machine and after a few minutes I found something that I had feared. A chip that shouldn’t be there. I remember Rex telling me about something like this around the time that five was killed but I didn’t take him seriously. Now I regret it.

“What is it (Y/N)?” Spike said as he an Manik came up to my side. The machine produced the chip, encased in glass to avoid contamination.

“A ‘behavioural chip’. I put that in quotes because it is something far worse than that. What it is I do not know but I need to remove yours as well. Quickly,” I said as the scanner released Chomp. He didn’t wake right away but I hauled him up and sat him against the adjacent wall, ushering Manik to the scanner.

There was no protest from as he went under. The same thing happened and once again I laid him up against the wall next to Chomp. Spike was the last to go, still a little hesitant even after seeming his brothers go through it.

“Are you sure about this general?” Spike asked and I nodded before feeling another wave of pain. The voices were much louder and I could hear Anakin screaming, I could feel Master Windu in pain and I could feel a sinister presence rising. My ears were ringing and my head pounding as I collapsed, screaming in pain myself, Spike got off the table to be by my side but I shook my head, trying to convey to him that he had to go through the procedure quickly.

Before I could really process what was happening, Spikes helmet was activated and a hologram of a dark figure appeared. I could feel dread take over my body as I watched the cloaked figure speak.

“Arc Trooper Spike. It is time-”

Execute Order 66

The words rang out through the Medbay, Spike going rigid before his shoulders squared. My eyes were wide, my ears not being able to process what was being said.

“It will be done my lord,” Spike replied before moving away from me and scooped up his bucket, placing it on his head before raising his blaster at me.

“Jedi. You are in direct violation of Order 66. You are to be terminated immediately for treason against the galactic republic,” Spike said and my heart dropped, looking over to my Commander and Captain who were still unconscious.

“I don’t want to hurt you Spike,” I whispered as I knelt there, still in disbelief. A shot went off but my lightsaber was in my hand before I could register what was happening, the bolt being deflected and hitting the wall near by.

“SPIKE!” I screamed as a firefight ensued, Spike firing at me and me deflecting what I could. “Spike please! It’s (Y/N)! Your friend!” I continued, trying but failing to get through to my trooper.

“I am not friends with Jedi traitors!” He screamed back and drew his pistols, firing at me twice as fast. I tried to dodge all his shots but one got me in the shoulder causing me to drop my saber.

I screamed in pain as I went down, clutching my injured shoulder with my good hand. Spike walked up to me and aimed his pistol right between my eyes, the look on his face one of no emotion or remorse. I closed my eyes and bowed my head, reaching out to Rex through the force with one final I love you before breaking our bond.

When Rex and I had begun dating, I had created a force bond with him. Even if he was not a force sensitive being, it was possible. And I melded our signatures together, giving him a piece on myself and he did the same to me. Breaking the bond was like shattering my heart, ripping it in half and throwing it aside.

I screamed as I did it, my sorrow creating a ripple effect that sent Spike flying across the room. He landed with a thud before dropping his pistols, laying unconscious on the ground. I could feel how the ripple had affected the ship as a whole, everyone on board being faced with an ear-piercing scream.

I knelt there sobbing as I finally felt the weight of what I did, holding onto my chest as the pain became too much. I could feel an emptiness in my chest, like a hole from a blaster. I didn’t even register that someone was trying to talk to me. The next thing I remember in being carried in someone’s arms, feeling cold before feeling warm again. I blacked out after that.

~Time Skip~

I woke to a gentle humming, feeling the weight of something on top of me and my eyes began to open. I felt a soft blanket on top of me and a pillow under my head, my body lying on a firm surface. I looked to my right, being met with a wall before looking to my left and seeing the inside of a ship. Across the small hull of the shuttle, I could see Spike laying there, a bandage on the right side of his head with his hair cut to accommodate it. I sighed a small sigh of relief, knowing that my Arc trooper was okay. I slowly sat up, clutching my chest as I did. The pain was still there, feeling even deeper than before. I cried out, finally processing what I had done. I had done it to protect Rex. I did not want him to feel my death. I did not want him to feel the pain of that loss.

Little did I know, he felt it ten-fold.

My cries reached the cockpit and Manik came running to me, checking me over to make sure I wasn’t physically hurt.

“General! Are you alright?” He asked quietly. I shook my head and broke down even more, not wanting to believe that I had really severed my connection with Rex.

“It hurts Manik. It hurts so much,” I whispered and clung my battalion captain, not wanting this to be real but knowing all to well that it was.

“What hurts?” He asked and I clutched my chest.

“My heart. My head. I feel like a part of me is missing,” I continued in a hushed voice, not knowing if I could speak any louder.

“Oh general,” Manik said and held me, knowing that something happened but not wanting to pry. We both heard a groan from the other side of the hull, looking over to see Spike waking up. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, before they went wide and he whipped his head around to take in his surroundings. When his eyes landed on me, he leapt up, making the short walk over to where I was and pulling me into a strong hug.

“Su cuy’gar,” He whispered to me and I nodded. I could feel his tears on my shoulder as I hugged him back.

“Yeah,” Was all I said before Chomp came from the cockpit.

“Thank god you two are awake,” he said and came over to the three of us, pulling us all into a group hug. I smiled a little, still feeling the emptiness in my heart. I sniffled and Chomp held onto us tightly, the weighted of the last few hours finally registering for us all.

“What happened?” I asked quietly as the four of us pulled away from the hug. Chomp sighed as he helped me stand, Manik and Spike following suit and we all made our way to the cockpit. Chomp sat in the pilot’s chair, Manik taking copilot and Spike and I sitting in the passenger seats.

“I woke up first, finding you and Spike unconscious on the floor. I figured something must have happened because Spike had his bucket on. I pulled up the security footage and watched everything. I almost didn’t believe what I was watching. But you saved us,” he said and Manik nodded.

“After that I got Spike into the table and finished the procedure. That’s when Manik woke up and I filled him in. He put you on the other one and scanned to make sure you weren’t hurt,” Chomp continued and Manik nodded again, looking a me with a small smile. I was grateful to my men for helping one another but also helping me.

“After I got Spike’s chip out, I helped him while Manik carried you. We were questioned by so many troopers but we played it as cool as we could. Once we made it to the hanger it was too late for them to figure out what we had done and we hijacked a shuttle and booked it,” Chomp said. I was so grateful to them for getting us out of there, still trying to process everything that went on.

“Thank you for saving me,” I said and looked at my men with adoration and gratitude. The Manik and Chomp beamed at me but Spike bowed his head in shame. I turned to him and pulled him into a hug. He tensed a little before returning the hug, looking to his brother who only showed him soft smiles.

“I don’t blame you Spike. It could have happened to anyone,” I said and spoke sighed before pulling away from the hug.

“I know. But I could have killed you,” Spoke said and Chomp placed a hand on Spike’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze.

“But you didn’t Vod’ika. We saved her and the baby,” Chomp said and I froze. I slowly turned to look at Chomp before looking to Manik to confirm. Both of them tensed a little before Manik let out a forced chuckle.

“I…guess you didn’t know. Congrats general. You’re pregnant,” Manik said. My ears began ringing again as I pulled away from Spike and looked down at my stomach. My hands instinctively went to my stomach where, true to their word, I could sense the life growing inside me. How I hadn’t before was beyond me but I guess I never really paid much attention to it. I knew it was Rex’s baby, and that thought made my eyes water all over again.

Chomp stood up and pulled me into a hug, letting me cry on his shoulder. “It’s okay general. I’m sure Rex is okay. He’s to tough to let some chip get the best of him. What we need to do now is find a safe place to lay low and help you get ready for this baby,” Chomp said and the others agreed. I nodded and sat back down in my seat, letting Chomp, Manik and Spike take the lead.

From there everything changed. The war had ended and the Jedi were deemed traitors. They were hunted and killed; any clones who went against the order were taken to an unknown place. Chomp, Spike, Manik and I had found refuge on an independent world, the three of them helping me through the Woah’s of pregnancy the best they could. It took a long time to adjust but soon enough I had my baby. And I named him Cody after commander Cody.

Sooner or later, I came into contact with Ahsoka again. She had told me that she and Rex had survived but after a few months together she lost contact with him. I was devastated that I would not get to see him again but at least I knew he was alive for the moment. Ahsoka came and met my son, falling in love at the first sight of him. I smiled as she told me more about what happened to her during the order.

It was a difficult conversation but one that needed to be had. As the days passed, my men began going on missions of their own to find and free their brothers, moving from planet to planet trying to make a difference. I stayed at our “home” with my son, trying to raise him as best I could. As he grew, I saw more and more of Rex in him. His eyes, his smile, his hair. He was a little copy of Rex and he loved his uncles very much. I came across Kanan a few years later, welcoming him with open arms.

~End Flashback~

From there the rest is history. Spike, Chomp and Manik checked in often but they were doing their own thing now.

I always think back; the last time I spoke to Rex it was telling him how I love him and how we would run away together and have a big family. I do have a family but it still feels incomplete with him. I’m just happy I told him I love him one last time.

My eyes watered even more as I thought about it, my heart hurting and my head pulsating. I took some more deep breaths before I laid back down, shutting my eyes and trying to get a little more sleep.

~ A few Hours Later ~

I felt someone gently shaking me awake, their presence calming and warm. I smiled and I help the hand of whoever came to get me, knowing instantly that it was Ahsoka.

“Rise and shine (Y/N). There is work to be done,” she said softly and I groaned, not wanting to get up. Ahsoka laughed before I felt a weight on my chest, snuggling into me. I smiled a little more as my arms wrapped around Cody, holding him tightly to me.

“You doing okay mom? I could hear you mumbling and sniffling in your sleep,” Cody asked and I opened my eyes to look at him, seeing Rex reflected in his eyes. I nodded as I scratched his head, giving him a kiss on the forehead.

“I’m okay ner ad,” I said and slowly sat up white Cody’s help, bringing my hand up to my chest. I could feel a dull pain in my heart, the same one I always got when I thought of my Rex. Ahsoka noticed and placed a hand on my shoulder before giving it a gentle squeeze. I looked up at her with a small smile, noting just how much she had grown up.

“Come on. Everyone is on the bridge of the command ship. We’ve got a new mission for you,” Ahsoka said with a hesitate smile. I paid no mind to it as we both had a lot on our minds and plates. I stood up, my arms staying wrapped around Cody as the three of us made our way to Phoenix home.

~Small Time Skip~

“The destruction of our command ship has severely limited our ability to fight the empire in this sector,” Commander Sato said as Ezra and Kanan came into the bridge of Phoenix home.

I stood next to Ahsoka against one of the adjacent walls, holding onto Cody as Commander Sato spoke.

“So maybe we don’t fight,” Ezra said sheepishly when commander Sato gave him a stern look. “Uhhh... commander Sato sir. W-when things got tough for me on Lothal, I’d go find some place to hide,” He continued, using hand gestures to convey his point and I giggled a little, remembering how Rex used to do the same thing.

“You are never shy with your opinions, Ezra Bridger,” Sato shot back, not really amused by Ezra’s words. “But establishing a base is a good idea,” Sato said and Ahsoka smiled, as if to agree but also there was something more in her eyes. I didn’t question it, just holding onto Cody and keeping quiet.

“Problem is, none of the potential bases we know of have the tactical advantage we need to protect what’s left of our fleet,” Hera said with her hands on her hips, concern evident in her voice.

“Or, aid the nearby systems suffering from imperial oppression,” Kansan said as he made his way behind Hera, the Twi’lek turning around to give him a look.

“We can’t help others if we can’t help ourselves Kanan,” Hera said, her voice conveying that it should be an obvious thought. “If only we had more allies,” Hera finished, turning back to the console.

“I know someone, who might be able to help us,” Ahsoka spoke up, hands on her hips and her tone of voice indicated to me that she was hiding something. I looked at her quizzically, but she didn’t not look at me, though she seemed to know I was staring at her. Cody looked up at me and held my hand, trying to send a wave of reassurance through the force.

“A great military commander with vast knowledge of the Outer Rim,” she said and my eyes went slightly wide. My mind went to Rex but I knew that could be possible. Ahsoka wouldn’t keep that from me. Would she?

Cody felt me tense and I couldn’t feel Kanan give me a look as my signature changed slightly, turning from calm to anxious before turning back. Cody turned around and hugged me, whispering to ask me what was wrong. I reassured my son that everything was okay, trying not to let him see my inner turmoil.

“He could assist us in finding a base, and his experienced leadership would make him a powerful ally,” Ahsoka said, moving away from the wall she stood by, making her way over to the holotable. Everyone’s eyes followed her, intrigued by her words. I stayed silent, trying not to let my intrusive thoughts overwhelm me.

“How do we recruit this…leader?” Sato asked, sounding just as much intrigued as he was cautious.

“That’s the problem. I lost track of him a long time ago, and all my transmissions have gone unanswered,” she said and stood there, arms crossed and one holding her chin in thought.

“We can find him. Let us try,” Ezra said optimistically, wanting to do what he could to help the cause.

“Well, there is one option I’ve not yet attempted,” Ahsoka said and smirked, giving Ezra a look before exiting the bridge.

~Small Time Skip~

The Ghost crew was back on board the ship, everyone making their way to the bridge for Ahsoka’s ‘test’. I sent Cody with Ezra and Sabine, making my way to my room to meditate. I had a feeling I knew what Ahsoka was planning but I didn’t want to believe it.

He’s gone. Even if he is alive, you severed your bond. You lost the right to call him yours.

My thoughts swirled as I sat on the floor of mine and Cody’s cabin, trying desperately to get my emotions under control.

~On the bridge~

Chopper beeped out that he had a bad feeling about this, moving away from one of the consoles as the rest of the crew came on. Hera was preparing the Ghost to receive the information when Ahsoka made her way into the cockpit. She was carrying a droid head, smiling softly at Cody’s small exclamation of wonder.

“Is that…the head of an old tactical droid?” Kanan asked, amazed and sceptical.

“These droids were great at finding things, calculating,” Ahsoka said as she handed the head off to Sabine. She scoffed slightly as she thought back to the Clone Wars. “Found my master and I a few times when we didn’t want to be found,” She finished, looking at Kanan before looking to Sabine and Ezra.

“How in all the galaxy is that droid gonna find your friend?” Ezra asked, leaning over towards Sabine to get a better look at the droid head. After Ezra’s question, he, Hera and Sabine all looked to Ahsoka, all wondering the same thing.

Chopper beeped and looked over at Ezra sassily, putting his mechanical arms on his “hips”.

“Well,” Ahsoka started, looking at Ezra to answer his question. “I heard he was last seen in the Seelos system.” She said and turned back towards the door to the cockpit. “You can start there.” She finished.

“You’re not coming with us?” Cody asked and stood up, reaching for Ahsoka.

Ahsoka smiled at the young boy and ruffled his hair before pulling him into a hug. “Not on this mission Cody,” she said and Cody pouted a little, not wanting to let go of his aunt just yet. After another minute he let Ahsoka go.

“I have something else to attend to,” She replied and looked at Ezra over her shoulder.

“The Sith Lord,” Kanan said, no question needed as to what Ahsoka was looking for. This conversation was one that needed to be had with (Y/N) present so Kanan turned to Cody.

“Cody where’s your mom?” Kanan asked softly, placing a hand on the young boy’s shoulder. Cody looked at Kanan before looking to the door leading out of the cockpit.

“She went to our room. I don’t think she’s feeling very well,” Cody said and looked to Kanan then Ahsoka. Both gave each other a look that Cody noticed.

“What’s wrong?” Cody said and Ahsoka sighed before giving Cody a small smile.

“It’s nothing ad’ika. Your mom will be okay.” Ahsoka said. Cody looked at her sceptically for a moment before dropping it. Kanan took his hand off Cody’s shoulder, giving the young boy a smile.

“I’m going to check on her,” Cody said and before anyone could protest, he made his way out of the cockpit and to the cabin he shared with his mother.

~The Ghost Crew~

“There are questions, questions that need answering,” Ahsoka said and looked at Kanan over her other shoulder.

“I wish we could go with you,” Ezra expressed, feeling a little disappointed that he, Kanan and (Y/N) couldn’t go with her to get answers about the Sith Lord.

“You have your own mission, Ezra,” she said and turned back to fully look at him and the rest of the crew before turning and addressing Kanan.

“And Kanan, if you find my friend, you must trust him,” Ahsoka said sternly which caused Ezra to look at her with concern.

“If he’s all the things you say, we can’t afford not to,” Kanan said with a hint of sarcasm, smirking at Ahsoka before it vanished. He could tell she was being serious.

“Trust him, and listen to (Y/N),” Ahsoka repeated again, emphasizing her point as the cockpit doors closed.

“What was that about?” Ezra asked Kanan

“I have no idea,” Kanan said exasperatedly.

~Reader~

Cody opened the door to the cabin, the sight that greeted him was one that hurt his heart. His mother sat there on her cot, tears slowly trailing down her face as she turned something over in her hand.

“Buir?” Cody asked and I looked up at him, startled by his sudden appearance.

“Cody,” I said as I wiped my tears, trying to compose myself for my son. “What’s up kiddo? I thought you were in the cockpit with the rest of the crew,” I asked and Cody walked in, making sure to close the door and lock it behind him as he came and sat on my cot.

“Talk to me mom. Please? There is obviously something on your mind and I want to help in anyway I can,” Cody said quietly and leaned his head on my shoulder. I tensed for a moment before letting out a shaky sigh, taking Cody’s hand in mine.

“I was thinking about your father,” I said softly, lifting my head and tilting it back, trying not to tear up again, Cody looked at me with wide eyes, knowing that this was a topic that I had only talked about a handful of times.

“What about dad?” He asked and I let a ghost of a smile grace my face.

“He was my world. He was everything to me,” I started and Cody turned his full attention to listen, knowing this might be the only time he gets to hear about his father in depth.

“We met at the start of the war. I was the general of a different battalion but we worked closely with the 501st legion. That’s how I met your father, Rex. I knew Anakin, the 501st legions general, because he and I were best friends. I was one of the first people to welcome him when he came to the temple. Anakin was always confident and cocky. He was an amazing friend and when he introduced me to Rex, it was love at first sight. It was against the Jedi code for Jedi to form attachments and it was against regulations for clones to fall in love, much less with a Jedi. We couldn’t be together but we didn’t care. We started our relationship around the one year mark of the war and we had remained in contact ever since. I got my own apartment outside of the temple so that Rex and I could spend time together, away from prying eyes. We made it work very well. We had our ups and downs as all couples do but we remained united,” I said and uncurled my hand, revealing the necklace Rex had given me.

“This was a gift to me from your father. He gave it to me the last time we saw each other face to face before the end of the war. It wasn’t easy for him to get but he told me I was worth it,” Cody’s mouth formed oh shape, finally knowing the meaning and value of the necklace he had seen many times.

“It’s the last piece of your father I have, besides you,” I finished and looked at the necklace in my hand, running my thumb over the sapphire gem just as I did all those years ago. Cody took my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“What happened to him?” Cody asked tentatively and I sighed, knowing that this time would come.

“I don’t know. I lost contact with him when the war ended. I severed our bond,” I said and Cody gasped. He knew what that meant, having been taught about force bonds by Ahsoka, Kanan and myself. He let go of my hand and instead gave me a hug, hiding his face in my neck to comfort me. I sighed as I hugged my son close, tears falling once again as I thought more about Rex.

“Is that why you get random chest pains whenever you think about dad?” Cody asked quietly and I nodded, feeling him hold me a little tighter.

“I broke our bond because I thought I was going to die. When order 66 was given, I thought I was dead. And I didn’t want Rex to feel that pain so I thought it would be easier to sever our connection. But I didn’t die. Uncle Chomp and Uncle Manik saved me and Uncle Spike. They made sure I was taken care of until you came and they stuck around to help me raise you. I always thought your father died. I always assumed he did because it made it easier to move on. It sounds cruel I know, but I needed to be strong for you ner ad,” I said and Cody pulled away from the hug to look at me.

“I’m sure he’s out there somewhere mom. We’ll find him. I promise,” Cody said with a fierce determination, making me smile with watery eyes. “Remember my vision from earlier?” Cody asked and I nodded.

“That’s how I know he’s alive and I’m sure he’s waiting for you to find him. He’s waiting to reunite with you. I can feel it,” Cody said passionately and I looked down at my lap, thinking about Cody’s words.

“You remind me so much of your father and I couldn’t be prouder of you, ner ad,” I said and Cody smiled, giving me another hug. When we pulled away, he took the necklace from my hand and crawled on my bed behind me, placing the necklace back in its rightful place. I smiled and wiped my tears as Cody came back around in front of me.

“We’ll find him mom. Don’t worry. If what you told me is true, he’s a fighter and he wouldn’t go down that easy,” Cody said and I nodded, a soft ‘okay’ leaving my lips. Cody gave me a kiss on the cheek before grabbing his lightsaber from one of the storage drawers, and taking my hand. He pulled me up and began leading us to the cockpit. I hadn’t realized how much time had passed since the briefing but it had been a little while because we were in hyperspace.

The door whooshed opened and all eyes turned to me and Cody, Kanan standing up and coming over to give me a hug.

“You feel better?” He asked and I nodded, placing my hand on Cody’s head and fluffing his hair.

“Mommmm,” Cody whined and I laughed, the others laughing as well.

“Where are we headed?” I asked and looked to Hera for an answer.

“The Seelos system. That’s where Ahsoka said to start,” Hera responded and I nodded, watching as hyperspace flew right by us.

~Time skip~

Chopper beeped out an ‘uhoh’ as the alarm started going off, one of the control panels sparking and catching fire.

“We get all the way to Seelos and now you tell me the hyperdrive wasn’t completely fixed?!” Hera growled at her droid.

Chopper beeped out sarcastically and Hera threw her arms up as I covered my mouth, trying not to laugh. Hera glared at me which made me laugh even louder.

“You finished the important repairs? How did you define “important”?!” Hera yelled as she turned back to Chopper. Kanan heard the commotion and came up from the common space on the ghost.

“What’s going on?” He asked, wondering why Hera was so mad the alarms were blaring. I laughed and got up, making my way over to Kanan.

“Chopper didn’t fix the hyperdrive properly,” I said and Kanan rolled his eyes, mumbling and ‘of course not’.

“Chopper and I are staying here,” Hera said and grunted as another fuse blew. “To clean up his mess,” She finished and Chopper chirped in protest that it wasn’t his fault.

“Take the phantom!” Hera said as she tried to get the situation under control. “Hopefully we’ll be ready to go by the time you get back,” she said sarcastically, pushing a few buttons on the control panel.

Kanan looked at her and rolled his eyes before looking at me, nodding as he slid down the ladder. I followed soon after, giving Hera a small wave as I went. I got down the ladder as everyone was making their way to the phantom, getting ready for our departure.

“You going to bring Cody?” Kanan asked and I nodded, turning towards mine and Cody’s cabin.

The door opened to reveal my son, lying on the upper cot, a smile on his sleeping face. I smiled as I climbed up the ladder and shook his shoulder gently, coxing him from his sleep.

“Cody? Time to get up sweetheart,” I said and Cody stirred, yawning as he looked at me.

“Hi mom,” he said and sat up, wrapping his arms around me. He buried his face in my neck, holding me a little tighter than usual.

“What’s wrong Cody?” I asked and stroked his hair. He sighed and pulled away before giving me a smile.

“I had another dream about dad. It was a good one.” He said and my eyes began to water.

“I’m sure it was honey. Your father was a great man. and I’m sure if he were here, he would’ve been an amazing father,” I said and Cody wiped my eyes for me.

“We’ll find him mom. He’s out there. I can feel it,” Cody said and I nodded at his optimism. I could sense it too. But I didn’t want to get my hopes up in case I was wrong for believing we were close to Rex.

“Let’s get going. We’re taking the phantom cause Chopper didn’t properly fix the hyperdrive.” I said and Cody rolled his eyes.

“Of course he didn’t,” he said and moved towards the ladder. I hopped down first before Cody followed, both of us making our way to the ladder of the Phantom and climbing up.

The phantom detached from the ghost smoothly, Kanan piloting her like a pro. I smiled as I sat with Cody across from Zeb, the Lasot making faces as Cody laughed like a young child. Zeb was like an older brother to Cody and they always had fun together, getting into trouble and teasing Ezra. It was always amusing to watch, seeing as they all grew to be like family.

Sabine held the tactical droid head in her hands and made her way over to Kanan as we flew through the atmosphere towards the surface of Seelos. I watched from where I sat, the blue sky and cracked ground making the planet seem beautiful in a deserted type of way.

Cody looked at me and I nodded before he got up and made his way over to Ezra and Kanan, Sabine plugging in the head to the computer of the phantom. It whirled for a moment as Sabine said to no one in particular, “Well, let’s fire this thing up,” She placed it on the control panel and the head began to warble. Cody was fascinated with the droid, not really having seen one as important or deadly as this one.

“I think it’s scanning for a signal of some kind,” Sabine said as she held onto the pilot’s seats, Kanan’s brows scrunching together.

“Good luck. You could really get lost out here,” Ezra said, glaring out the cockpit window towards the drab looking grounds bellow.

“Maybe that was the idea,” Zeb started, kind of throwing his arms up in the air. “What if this great commander were looking for doesn’t want to be found?” He speculated and to me, that made a lot of sense. Ezra must have thought the same thing because his face shifted from confused to cautious to understanding to curiosity as he looked out the window again.

I could sense a very familiar presence, almost like it was dancing with me. I looked down and closed my eyes, trying not to reach out but desperately wanting to.

I had closed parts of myself off from the force for years because of the grief of loosing everything I knew. It was only recently, when Cody turned 10, that I opened myself up, making my sense of the force still very wonky.

Zeb placed one of his hands on my knee, knowing that when I did this, I could feel something. Cody came over to me to and wrapped his arms around me, also feeling that something was off with me.

“What’s wrong mom?” He said and I didn’t respond, not wanting to throw myself into another panic attack. I just kept my eyes closed, taking deep breathes, tuning out everything I could, even when the tactical droid began beeping and chiming a number I had heard many times before.

“7567…7567…7,”

“It’s homing in on something,” Sabine said and she and Ezra leaned in a little more, Kanan’s brows still furrowed. Cody gave me one more gentle squeeze and went back over to Ezra, also wanting to see what was being found.

“7567,”

“7567…7567…7567,”

Zeb got up from where he sat, making his way over to the pilot’s seat and looking out the window. I stayed putting, trying my best to meditate and work through my thoughts and feelings. I could sense them. There were three life forms on the surface. Two very familiar and one I had only met a handful of times. I didn’t let myself hope though even when all the evidence was there

“There! Up ahead!” Zeb said eagerly, pushing Ezra, Sabine and Kanan a little too forcefully to get his point across. There was an old republic AT-TE walker, moving slowly across the ground. I stayed unmoving, not wanting to open my eyes.

“Whoa….” Ezra and Cody said together, both admiring the monster of a vehicle the tank was. Sabine gasped at the colourful makeshift patio that rested on top, admiring the craftsmanship of it.

“Now, that is a work of art,” she said and that made me smile a little, still in my own world.

“Looks like an old republic tank,” Kanan said cautiously, not wanting to believe who could be riding in that tank, “used during the Clone wars,” Kanan snarled as he finished his whispered words. My eyes squeezed shut even more, not wanting Kanan’s negativity to influence my thoughts.

“7567...”

The tank came to a hault as the Phantom landed towards the rear, everyone moving to exit the ship. Cody came over to me and placed a hand on my shoulder, giving it a small squeeze.

“We’re here mom,” he said quietly and I nodded, acknowledging that we had landed.

“You coming (Y/N)?” Kanan asked and I shook my head, my mind still piecing everything together. Zeb opened the hatch and led Sabine and Ezra out.

“Let’s go Cody, leave your mom to meditate. She’s going through a lot. And be on guard,” Kanan said as he ushered Cody out. He looked back at me but I kept me head down, the things I was feeling becoming overwhelming.

The hatch remained opened behind Cody and Kanan as Kanan also warned Ezra to be on guard. I could feel the force pulling me towards my past, wanting me to reflect, wanting me to open back up fully. I was afraid because I knew now what awaited me outside the door. I could feel his life force, just as strong as the day we met, still slightly fractured from the day I severed our bond.

I slowly opened my eyes as I felt a weight being lifted, the force surging through me like an old friend not forgotten. I smiled as I felt it but that smile was quickly wiped away as I heard blaster fire. I unclipped my saber from its place on my hip and opened the hatch of the phantom, ready to defend my friends on both sides.

~Outside~

The group walked up toward the tank, the makeshift windchimes ringing as the group waited. Cody made his way to the front of the group with Ezra, even against Kanan’s silent protests. The back door to the AT-TE opened to reveal three older looking men, all looking the same but also different.

Cody felt a serge in the force, one so strong it took his breath away. He held a hand to his chest as he started at the man in the front of the group. This man was familiar and Cody knew it had to be someone special. He knew this man. Zeb broke him out of his internal battle with the force by scoffing and rolling his eyes.

“It’s just a bunch of old geezers,” he said and crossed his arms.

“Well armed old geezers,” Sabine added, admiring the weaponry the men were sporting.

“What do you want?” The first man called to the group and Cody took hold of Zeb’s arm, trying to balance himself as another serge from the force took his breath again and made his heart race.

“We’re looking for someone,” Kanan said sceptically, calling back to the men.

“Well, that’s too bad, ‘cause there’s nobody out here,” The man said, leaning against the railing of the tank. Ezra stepped up, Cody moving to stand with him but still staying back. He needed to know if he was right.

“Hey, uh, does the number 7567 mean anything to you?” Ezra asked carefully, holding his hand up a little, holding Cody back from being up front.

“What did you just say?” The first man snarled, the ones flanking him raising their weapons defensively.

“Uh, I said 7567,” Ezra repeated cautiously, Cody moving from behind his hand to step up in front of the group.

“I haven’t heard those digits in…well that’s my birth number!” The man said and Cody finally took a stand as Ezra thought to himself what ‘birth number’ could mean.

“Buir?” Cody said and stared at the man in front, all three visibly tensing at the use of Mando’a and the term used. Before anything else could be said, Kanan snarled.

“They’re clones!” He said and pushed Ezra and Cody back, Cody falling with the force of it as Kanan ignited his lightsaber to defend the group.

The three men were snapped out of their shock of a child speaking Mando’a, instead turning fully defensive at the Jedi.

“Kanan, wait. Stop!” Cody yelled but Kanan didn’t listen.

“Jedi! They’ve come for revenge,” The clone with the scar over his left eye yelped and immediately began firing at Kanan.

“Drop the blaster old man,” Zeb yelled back as he and Sabine took out their weapons.

“Don’t try it boyo! I’ll gun you down,” The man in the blue shirt said in response, taking aim at the group.

“Stand down troopers. Now! That’s an order Soldier,” The front man said, pushing the others blasters towards the ground.

“Sha’kaji al’verde!” A voice boomed and everyone turned to see (Y/N), holding her (L/C) lightsaber in her hand. Cody stood up quickly and ran to his mother, wrapping his arms around her. She placed her free hand around her son but her eyes never left those of the captain.

All three men were just as shocked, their weapons dropping immediately. The rest of the Ghost crew looked at me, their weapons still slightly raised and Kanan’s saber still ignited.

“Stow your weapons,” I said to Zeb and Sabine, moving up towards the tank slowly.

“But...” Zeb began but I gave him a sharp look. Zeb backed off, knowing that when I had that look, I wasn’t playing. Sabine did the same, not wanting to be on the receiving end.

“Stow. Your. Weapons. That’s an order,” I said sternly and once they did, I turned my eyes on Kanan.

“Lower your weapon Kanan. Now,” I said in the same tone. Kanan didn’t and he turned to glare at me but my glare was just as hard, if not harder.

“You forget your place Kanan. Lower your saber now or I will have no choice but to take it,” I said, my voice dripping with venom. Zeb, Ezra and Sabine all stared in shock at my tone, knowing that I meant business.

Kanan stopped for another moment before he finally retracted his saber, placing it on his belt and backing away to give me some space. I did the same, retracting my saber and placing it back on my hip, my arm never leaving Cody as we made our way to the tank. I looked up and stared at the three fine men, Commander Wolffe, Commander Gregor and my love, Captain Rex.

All three stood there, shocked and unmoving, Rex’s eyes never leaving mine. My eyes were beginning to water and I could tell by Cody’s hold on me that he knew who this man was. I watched as Rex’s eyes flicked down from mine, noticing the necklace that I wore. The same necklace her gave to me that night in my apartment so many years ago. He then met my eyes again, still at a loss for words.

“Udes verde,” I said quietly. All three of them stood at attention before standing at ease, Rex’s mouth opening and closing like a fish. I smiled as I watched his lost for word expression, tears beginning to stream down my cheeks. Cody looked up at me and then to Rex, putting the pieces of the puzzle in the right place.

“Mom?” He asked and I saw Rex’s eyes widen even further, Wolffe and Gregor looking to the captain and then back at us.

“Su cuy’gar ner alor’ad,” I said and Rex finally took a breath, tears leaving his eyes as well.

“Ner cyar’ika,” He whispered and I nodded, giving Cody a kiss on the forehead before I let go of him, taking a step and jumping up to the platform of the tank, landing right in front of Rex as he backed up to give me room. It didn’t take a second before he was on me, holding me close and kissing me like there was not tomorrow.

I reciprocated just as quickly, holding his face in my hands and caressing his beard, smiling into the kiss. Rex smiled with me as we pulled away, leaning his forehead against mine.

“I thought I lost you, ner cyare,” Rex said tearfully and I nodded, my eyes watering just as much.

“I’ll explain it all Rex I promise,” I said and kissed him again, pulling him impossibly closer. It was as if the rest of the world didn’t exist besides the two of us at the moment, rebuilding the bond that was broken and making up for lost time. We pulled away panting, both of us laughing and crying at finally being reunited.

I turned and looked down at the rest of the crew, Sabine, Zeb and Ezra were smiling softly, giving me thumbs up and claps. Kanan stood to the back of the group, looking at Rex and then me apprehensively, but not saying anything. Cody had a huge smile on his face, finally getting to see his father.

“Come up here ner ad,” And Cody nodded, doing as I did and jumping on to the platform. Wolffe and Gregor made room as Cody hopped up, the rest of the ghost crew loading into the Phantom and lifting off, landing the ship gently on top of the AT-TE.

“Rex, my love,” I started holding Rex’s hand as Cody came up to us. Rex looked at me and then back at Cody, staring at him with wide eyes.

“He’s ours?” Rex whispered and I nodded, my eyes watering again as Rex broke out into sobs, pulling Cody in for a big hug. Cody smiled as he reciprocated the hug, holding on to his long-lost father. They stayed like that for a little longer which gave me a chance to turn around and pull Wolffe into a hug, the commander dropping his second gun and immediately returning it. Gregor came over to us and did the same, giving me a hug as Cody and Rex pulled away.

“It’s so good to see you all alive,” I said tearfully and Woffle wiped his own tears, Gregor giving a huge smile.

“You too general,” Woffle said and Gregor laughed in agreement.

“What’s your name Son?” Rex said as he knelt down so that he was a little more level with Cody. I walked over a placed a hand on Cody’s shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze and he smiled at me. He turned back to look at Rex and with a childlike smile her told him.

“My name is Cody (L/N),” He said proudly and Rex’s eyes went wide again as the Ghost crew dismounted from the phantom, coming to a stop around our group. Rex turned and looked at me as I smiled with teary eyes before he turned back to Cody.

“Do you know who you got your name from son?” He asked quietly and Cody nodded again.

“Commander Cody of the 212th clone battalion. A great soldier, a born leader and a great friend of my dad,” Cody said, echoing something I had told him many years ago. Rex nodded and pulled Cody into another hug, lifting him up and pulling me into a hug as well. We were a family reunited after so many years apart and I couldn’t be happier.

“Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum ner cyar’ika,” Rex said and I smiled and kissed his cheek.

“Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum ner alor’ad,” I replied and Cody smiled before he patted Rex’s shoulder to let him down. Rex did so immediately, instead latching on to me and holding me tightly as if I would disappear at any moment.

“Dad?” Cody asked and Rex responded with ‘yes Cody?’

“I want you to meet my friends,” he said and walked over to the ghost crew who at this point had been watching our reunion with smiles. Kanan still had a sour look on his face but I don’t think he could deny that I was happy. As Cody introduced Rex, Wolffe, and Gregor to the crew I couldn’t help but smile. Rex had only found out he was a father ten minutes ago and he had already taken to the role like it was natural for him.

I smiled at my family, finally reunited after so long apart. I’d have to have a word with Ahsoka about this but for now, I wanted to enjoy the moment.

—————

Thank you so much for reading! Please drop a like if you enjoyed this story and let me know if there’s anything else you’d like for me to write about!

I will try to update every week around noon on Wednesdays or Thursdays! But please be patient with me, I’m going through some health stuff as well as working so I will write and update when I can!