#GRANT MY KING YOU REALLY DON'T GOTTA PROVE IT THEY KNOW YOU LOVE THEM

[holocene-sims]

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august 7, 2021 4:30 a.m. goat soap palace

[theirondragonrants]

8 Thoughts on GOT 8X03 THE BATTLE OF HELMS DEEP THRONES STYLE

I have no God darned clue what the episode name is so I'm gonna call it Helm's Deep, no I will not accept criticism. That being said here we go.

1. The most Heroic thing

Can we give it up for the true heroes of this shit. Lyanna Mormont going out like a champ. She told men they were idiots and proved it in the end by taking out a fucking GIANT. Arya knew Sansa had no chance out there and if they were going to fight to the last man, Sansa would be what the survivors would need so she sent her to the crypts. (it also gave me flashbacks to Jon saying if he didn't Keep Sansa safe Eddard Stark would climb out of his grave to kill him). Melisandre fucking giving fire left and right like a boss, and GIVING THOSE WAR ENDING TIPS. Brienne holding the line with Jamie, Pod and everyone else fighting under her. Beric and the Hound hauling ass to save Arya. Greyworm protecting the retreat with the unsullied and then wrecking face inside the gates. So many great moments and people.

2. Everything that happened led you where you belong

It was definitely a line for Theon, and by the drowned God did he deliver, but it was also for everyone else. Everything they've been through, everyone they've lost, all they've endured led them to this battle, and every one of them was crucial for every moment whether we saw it or not.

And now to the man it was spoken to. Theon Greyjoy who betrayed the Stark family, drove Bran and Rickon from their home, saved Sansa and brought Daenerys to Westeros died protecting his little brother and I love that. Good men are forged in fire and like Bran said, Theon is a good man.

3. You were the best of them

For obvious reasons we couldn't let a lot of out the no combatants. Tyrion, Sansa, Varys, Missandei, they're all better at games that don't involve swords and fighting. That being said, I loved the little tidbits we did get. I really think that, if Daenerys didn't exist, Tyrion would probably give a thought to Sansa ruling the seven kingdoms. She's got the right name, she's stronger than Robert but gentler than Stannis, and she's been ruling despite everyone's doubts and doing a kickass job out of it.

Tyrion really was the best of her husband's and while I don't ship it, I think they would be a pair to be reckoned with. Sansa and Tyrion also knowing that they'd be useless in a fight but when the fight comes to you you've gotta get it together.

4. And now their watch is ended

I'm surprised we didn't get as many deaths? Granted I know there's piles of corpses that are a few stories tall, but main cast deaths were few and far in between. That being said let's have a few moments of silence for the good people we lost.

Edd, homie died doing what he had been doing for a long time, taking care of Sam who keeps freezing at the worst moments.

Jorah, he did just take Jamie's wish to die in the arms of the woman he loves. Fucking Jorah hauled ass out of Winterfell to save Daenerys, who had already done her fair share of fighting, and went out like a champ.

Beric, god dammit so I have a LOT to say about his death, but he went out doing the literal Lord's work and I appreciate him so.

Lyanna, she decided that the women wouldn't be left behind and she did her duty. She manned the gate, and held the line, and went out buying them precious time and instead of dealing with all those dead AND a giant, they just had to fight all the dead.

Melisandre, her fire went out but she fucking saved them. Like Beric I've got a lot of stuff to say about her, so catch that in number 8.

5. DRAGONS

No fancy title for this one because DRAGONS.

Daenerys and Drogon buying everyone time and doing the best they fucking could to make everything easier. But only Daenerys and Drogon. Jon on the other hand is a useless schmuck and I feel vindicated in how much I don't like him.

Even Viserion fucking wrecking face with his blue fire, and dog-fighting with Drogon in mid-air and still continuing to wreck face even after the Night King fell off? Amazing.

6. Jon Snow, not the prince that was promised

BITCH AM I HAPPY ABOUT THIS.

Jon Snow has repeatedly made stupid ass decisions, and been irredeemably useless on more than one occasion. Letting him be the prince that was promised would've been some utter bullshit, and honestly I'm so happy it wasn't him at the end.

He sat on his ass, on the walls of Winterfell, with full visibility of the trenches while the archers were desperately trying to light them and did nothing. He screamed at a dragon while Arya wrecked the Night King's face.

I am however very curious about why he got brought back? If he wasn't the prince that was promised then what's his mission?

7. Jaime and Brienne, a power couple

This is more my own fan service than nothing else, but God damn everytime the camera went back to then I felt my heart drop. Brienne saving Jaime and Jaime saving her right back? Amazing, iconic, I love them. And even in the thick of it they were still watching each other's 6s, protecting Pod, doing what they do and looking fabulous while doing it. Honestly I'm so happy to see they'll live another day.

8. Arya Stark, she-wolf of Winterfell, protector of the realm and slayer of ice zombies

HONESTLY I DIDNT SEE THIS COMING!?

What do we say to the God of death??? NOT TODAY BITCHES. Much like everyone else, everything they've lived has led to this moment. Every moment of training, all the names on the list, even that little training montage with Brienne when she did that dagger drop, everything led up to this iconic fucking moment. Beric being brought back to save her. Melisandre coming back from Volantis to save their assess. The Hound snapping out of his panic for her. Everything came down to that moment.

I'm really going to have to go back and see every clue that said Arya was supposed to do this, but God damn!

AND IN THIS MOMENT THE NIGHT KING KNEW, HE FUCKED UP

Final thoughts:

I know to a lot of casual viewers who came in for the fantasy, the show has led up to this fight and it's a question of now what? But really, the show is going to do a full circle. This all started with the Dragons, the Stags, the Wolves and the Lions going at eachother, and that's exactly how it's going to end. Be it as it may, this show is about the Game of Thrones, and it's time to play.

Episode Score: 9/10