#GOOFY. GOOFY ANALYSIS GOOFY BEHAVIOUR.

[happyendingsong]

someone in the tags of prev took it as a launching point to compare shiki w beat ( :) 👍! ) but fairly firmly lands on it being shiki's fault she and beat aren't close in neo because shiki's such a selfish bitch ( :( 👎! )

trying to pass off beat not knowing who in universe hello kitty is as shiki's fault for 'prioritising herself' is so funny please. i think if one of your multiple soul bonded besties invented in universe hello kitty, it is YOUR moral obligation to know who in universe hello kitty is. that's on beat.

[vanmarkus]

Do you have any idea where the 'oliver hates lou' thing came from? Cause all I've seen is them praising each other and oliver saying how fun and goofy lou is. The only 'reason' I've seen from big blogs is that oliver doesn't follow him but he only follows the main cast now, not even anirudh or john who he's friends with so ? I doubt that means he hates him?

no idea who said it first, but as most vile things, it came from twitter.

people are grasping for straws because they aren't happy with the bucktommy storyline. Lou came in and did his job and said yes to a storyline that gave us bi Buck and these people are trying to bully him on twitter, trying to get a gotcha out of him, the cast and other fans on the regular.

the man cannot move an inch without them being up his ass about it, which, as I said before has me a little concerned for various reasons, some of them being Lou leaving the show prematurely due to the behaviour, the fandom en masse getting a bad reputation similar to other large toxic fandoms in the past (spn, stranger things, voltron, etc.) and just in general it grinds my gears that people can't fucking separate the actor from the character.

hate Tommy all you want, make up reasons, ignore his backstory and growth all you want, but Lou is a real human being who we don't know.

for what we see from him and what he lets us see is nice, but even if he's somehow this evil, terrible person... we just don't know. we're not working with him, we aren't his friends or family so it's just completely deranged to think that any of us can make an accurate analysis of his behaviour.

the cast and Tim only ever said that he's goofy, he's sweet, he's kind and great to work with — which, believe them or not, but it is what was said. he loves the character, Oliver loves the storyline and just because they barely know each other, it doesn't mean they hate each other.

and even if they did — it wouldn't matter. the actors' relationship doesn't affect the show as long as everyone is being professional and I'd be surprised if they weren't.

all this to say; this whole thing is made up and normal people have no reason to believe it and also should not have interest in if the cast likes Lou or not; but for all intents and purposes, by the cast's own admission, they like him.

[machineheraldandy]

Miguel’s story is one of SA

Miguel O’Hara: story analysis

General trigger warning for SA/Grooming/childhood SA/drugging, if it’s too triggering please have a good day and keep yourself safe instead of reading :)

This piece comes from a grooming victim, so I have a bit of insight of certain topics, everything is written with care. (I hope)

Rambling a lot!!!

There is a general story told in Miguel O’Hara’s spiderman series, one of him being spiderman of course, the new one, but also one of how his life isn’t his, how his story is one of SA. This was more recently ignored and changed by PAD in order to make him more like Peter Parker, treating his deep adult issues as more goofy “haha spiderman!” Things instead of what they are. That will be addressed. Like always this is a part ramble, part think piece.

Miguel from the start does not have his own life, from the day Conchata is pregnant with him, his life was planned out, he wouldn’t be her son, or George’s, he wouldn’t be a person, he would be the toy of Tyler Stone, the moment he was born was the moment he was groomed, he never had a choice, never had a way out, never got a chance to even try to run. Tyler planned to groom him into what he was. It’s made clear.

Miguel from the start became smart, not so much by his own will but because he was expected to, by George, an abusive alcoholic. He got into the Alchemax school for gifted children, not because he wanted to but because George set it up, but Tyler/Conchata had it planned. (Most likely)

From how Miguel is written it could be assumed that he would have rather been beaten while protecting Gabriel then having to go to that school, but had the fear or being nothing, and being beaten worse if he didn’t, he’s scared of his family, scared of failure, scared of George, and Tyler. Scared of not following orders.

In his Childhood, Tyler was distant but groomed him from the side, by all means it was known early on that Kron had a Personality disorder which made him Anti-social, what disorder? Unknown and will not be guessed upon as that would villainise people with the disorder. From my personal point of view, Kron was the child meant to be Tyler’s best but Tyler moved onto Miguel quickly due to Tyler seeing it as a waste to try with Kron anymore. It could be shown that Kron sense of the world changed due to Tyler, and Krons later behaviours were that of a Groomer, and of course SA’er in the future.

Tyler while knowing Kron had a personality disorder or just ignoring it, taught him the behaviour of going after women, Tyler had been divorced many times, he had many women, Tyler taught him to have power over people and to use that against them. By all means Kron became what he was due to Tyler. HENSE why Tyler is even worse in this. Tyler on accident created an abuser, that would do exactly what Tyler did, but more publicly.

Going into this is to not explain Krons actions or defend him but to say that the general theme of SA, has so many roots linking back to each other. Kron goes on to SA Miguel’s first girlfriend (at the time best friend) miguel walks in on this, stops it, gets nearly killed, There is no doubt what happened to Xina was indeed SA, it was just the only form of SA they may have been allowed to show, Xina is naked and Kron holding a knife is forcing her to take her towel off, it’s implied that so much worse would have happened to Xina if Miguel didn’t arrive.

I won’t go much into this though as from my point of view PAD wrote a SA story in this to make a man a savour of a woman, (or boy saving girl) the way it was handled wasn’t well. Even if it’s important to how Miguel’s story has SA, and seems to be a story about SA.

The next time he is assaulted in a way that brings into the question of SA and hidden meanings is Raptor, Tyler is Miguel’s groomer, Tyler admits as much verbally, Tyler drugs Miguel to keep control of him, he does something an abusive groomer would do, he makes Miguel believe miguel is reliant on him even-though he isn’t and never was. Miguel didn’t take enough of the drugs for it to affect him, but Tyler convinces him otherwise, an abuse tactic similar to real abuse tactics. “You can’t leave, you need me! Due to a lie!”

Some see this as an allegory for SA, I do too, specially when the rest of his story is the way it is.

The next time which isn’t SA but it’s important to the SA, and how his life isn’t his own, is him becoming spiderman, Aaron mad at him forcefully tried to kill him in a way that forces him to become spiderman against his will, he attempts to escape his groomer Tyler, and as a result becomes what he sees as a monster not worth living, in his attempt to escape he falls deeper into himself, deeper into an emotional pit he can’t escape, his life isn’t his, when he tries to make it his own, it fails, it always fail, he will never escape, what is the point?

He then as spiderman gets SA’ed, a villain forcefully kisses him, he doesn’t want it, he needs to get her off and he does so in a way that only him, spiderman could do. Paralysing her with his fangs, this moment sucked as it was less treated like SA and just as a 1990s comic thing, but it also…was amazing, Miguel’s escape from himself that he believed failed in a way helped him, that’s good accidental story telling. You also have the thing of how a victim might go “it worked but it only happened due to!” As Miguel only got SA’ed due to being spiderman, but he got saved due to being spiderman, meaning there is a major conflict, yes his attempt to save himself failed then failed again but it helped? But it only helped due to another failure? Keeping him trapped.

The next time we see SA/Grooming in the comics, is to do with Dana, everyone doesn’t like her specially for this, but there is one thing to note, Dana was a 23 year old fiancé to a grooming victim, that grooming victims, groomer wanted sex out of her, when being 50+, not only is there an age gap so big it can call into questions on if it okay, but he is a extremely rich business man (power inbalance) and someone that actively was still grooming Miguel, you could see Tyler doing this as a way to try and trap and hurt Miguel more + grooming Dana, and that’s what it should be treated as! Even if Tyler “fell in love” with Dana, it came from a bad place. And there was NOT proper consent.

The next time SA is an issue is when Kron comes back as Venom, he kidnaps Dana and Xina, making nasty remarks, some remarks which can be taken as even sexual jokes, Xina was SA’ed by him as a child, and now he becomes nasty again, he reopens wounds, and in the process hurts Dana/Xina/Miguel.

The story ends soon after for the 1992 run, but continues within the 2015 run, Miguel’s girlfriend tempest once again is a victim of SA, I don’t know much about it so I won’t go into it, but then Miguel is a victim of SA AGAIN, getting forcefully kissed and forced into a position he never wanted to be in as a lady forces him to be in it otherwise he risks being exposed for who he is (a future spiderman)

Miguel’s story runs heavy with SA themes, grooming themes, and is overall a sad story about a victim, a victim who later gets treated like a joke and treated like he should never have existed by the people that created him. What is worse is…the new comics

Miguel teaming up with Kron: we all know it, we all hate it, PAD ruined Miguel, he made it known Miguel still had his own mind when befriending Kron, and Kron only maybe a week prior had canonly killed Dana, and…once again Miguel saw Kron SA Xina, he then for a bit treated Kron like a better brother than Gabriel.

This could have been written so much better, victims attach to their abusers, you could logically in character find a way to get Miguel to work with Kron, as Miguel is a victim his whole life, Miguel was groomed by Krons father, Kron got his behaviour from his father.

PAD could have written an abuse victim getting an unhealthy attachment to an abuser after tragically losing Dana, and going through all the abuse, as victims do that. But he chose to be disgusting. And to write Miguel poorly. Like always.

So like always, Miguel can’t have it his way, he can’t even have his personality without the writers changing it to make him less him. He has never been in control, and never will, his story is sad, and it’s one of so much tragedy.

If anything I said was written in a bad way please let me know so I can fix it! 💖

[thatgirl4815]

One thing that strikes me about Ray/Sand vs Ray/Mew is that for the life of me I just can't picture the Ray who jumps on Sand and sticks his smelly pits in his face, the Ray who is cheeky and playful and a bit goofy, doing those things or acting that way with Mew. And I don't even mean within the context of any romantic relationship - I find it really hard to imagine their friendship having any such similar moments, where they're just two boys being a bit daft. With Sand Ray can be flirty, sensual, fierce, but he can also be silly, petulant, carefree (whilst sober). I just can't see him exhibiting that duality in his relationship with Mew. In their scenes previous to The Dance of Doom, he's usually been quite serious, heavy, earnest - weighed down, whether by Mew's expectations or his own feelings I don't know (likely both). He just seems so much lighter when he's with Sand (and they're apart from everyone else). I'm not saying it's Mew's fault - maybe it's a result of the pedestal he occupies in Ray's mind, but I just thought it was interesting. Ray often seems like an entirely different person when he's with Sand. And I think that's why those of us rooting for a (healthy) endgame are so invested, because in those interactions we see the person Ray COULD be, and it's pretty clear it's Sand that brings out that potential. Again, not saying he doesn't also require a shitload of soul-searching and professional help, but how could you NOT want him to reach that potential? And I'm almost certain the showrunners would agree. Now that doesn't necessarily mean the only way to get there is a Sand/Ray happy ending or that Sand owes it to Ray to put up with his bullshit in the meantime, but I think Sand wants that for Ray too and I don't think that makes him pathetic. I think Sand is pretty good at spotting when Ray's behaviour is that of someone in crisis vs being a brat/careless. It's probably why he requires an apology for Ray dropping him at the end of ep 3 but not for the insults at the end of ep 6 (well that and the whole near death experience!). No, Sand is under no obligation to keep loving/caring for Ray at his worst, but if he CHOOSES to do so because he's seen him at his best and because he knows the pain that lies beneath it all, well then actually that's something quite remarkable. Not romantic, mind you - remarkable. I'm not romanticising anything. But to me that shows a strength of character and a depth of compassion that's worthy of respect.

Great observations! I also can't really see a teasing, light-hearted RayMew relationship (at least, not when they're both sober), mostly because we haven't seen that dynamic much at all between them as friends. The thing that makes friends-to-lovers plots so successful is the chemistry between friends conjoined with romantic chemistry. And I don't get much of either of those between them (possibly because the vast majority of scenes between Ray and Mew only are about Ray's alcohol/drug problems).

A lot of this goes back to what you said about Ray putting Mew on a pedestal. It's always felt like Mew is in a superior position while Ray is only pining after him. With Ray and Sand, we see Sand acknowledge the dangers of Ray's behavior, but it never comes across as domineering or self-righteous (reminds me of @bird-inacage's analysis here about how Sand and Mew react differently to Ray's addictions).

I definitely think Ray is a better version of himself with Sand. He's noticeably less drunk around him, he opens up about his past, he apologizes and speaks relatively openly about his feelings, he makes an effort to invest in Sand's interests...the list goes on. Those are all signs of a healthy relationship built on mutual interests. For Ray and Mew, I think it's fair to say there are other motivations beyond romantic feelings.

I also admire Sand's depth of compassion. As you said, he is under no obligation to keep coming back to Ray and caring for him the way he does, but the fact that he is doing that despite knowing that he deserves better says a lot about his values. When he cares for someone, he cares for them deeply, despite the pain they might inflict upon him. For someone like Sand who seems so headstrong in other areas of his life, there's something endearing about how soft he is for Ray.

[kabbalicgay]

Kinda wish "leftists" would invest more time into actual feminist theory instead of the tired, old "wanting women to have equal rights doesn't mean women have to stop doing traditional woman-ly things" type of rhetoric that's popping up incessantly. Like maybe you should be examining why those "traditional woman-ly things" are associated with women and what the implications of that association are, and furthermore, why, perhaps, the idea of women choosing to participate in misogynist behaviour and patriarchy is something we should interrogate and critique lmao.

I'm editing this to add on: ra/d.fe.minism has never, at any point, given a good analysis of material conditions and does, in fact, completely reinforce gendered stereotypes, misogynist violence, anti-Blackness, colonial gender roles and binaries, and overall is a poor lense through which to examine the world. You mfs are goofy.

[illustrationcharacterdigital]

The Square characters:

The characters I believe fit in this category are as follows:

Finn the Human from 'Adventure Time' Spongebob from 'Spongebob Squarepants' and Richard Watterson from 'The Amazing World of Gumball'

In animation character design a square structure is the go-to form for a character with a strong/ dependable spirit.

Finn the Human: is the lead protagonist in the show 'Adventure Time' alongside his animal sidekick Jake the dog. Throughout the show Finn constantly finds himself in various life threatening and odd and dangerous scenarios. Out of the pair (Finn and Jake), Finn is consistently the what described as the dependable and strong friend. His title 'Finn the human' specifies that Finn is indeed the only one of his kind in the 'Adventure Time' universe, making him the odd one out in a way. This character trait could perhaps be a reflection of his more rectangular structure, you see a rectangle is basically a stretched square and could be seen as symbolism to him being the odd one out in his society. Finn's colours also align nicely with his persona especially the blue for his clothes. Blue symbolises serenity, stability, inspiration and wisdom. It is also noted for its calming aura and connotations of reliability. The green on his backpack is also associated with concepts of hope, renewal, inventing, analysis and perfectionism.

Spongebob Squarepants: a square with pants, is most commonly remembered for his intense child-like behaviour, naivety and obnoxiousness. However, a more overlooked aspect to his personality is his undeniable loyalty, determination and dependability. Throughout Spongebob's time on the screen he has been faced with many quests and tasks with which he is always adamant to complete. Another example of his dependable character is his great dedication to his job. The constant underlying subplot of the series is Spongebob's passion for his work, which is reflected in is square shape. Spongebob's signature colour is ofcourse yellow! The perfect colour to identify him as it exemplifies optimism, energy, joy, happiness and friendship (literally all the components of Spongebob's personality!) His little sharp red tie signifies his compassion and quick wittedness. The brown pants he wears can also be seen as a way to show his resilience and dependable spirit!

Richard Watterson: is known as the incredibly goofy father of Gumball. He is the complete opposite of what one would consider to be an ideal father figure. He is very much like a child in a grown-up's body, and yet he is the most loveliest of fathers and is deeply caring for his children despite being a what some would regard as a complete idiot. The rule of shapes in character design was definitely considered for Richard, the square fits perfectly with his strong nature. As although he is intended as the most pathetic character on the show he is always there for the family when they need it and is oddly heroic in his own way as the dependable dad! Richard's colours are pink and brown. Pink associates itself with themes of love and kindness and enhances is warm and friendly mannerisms. And ofcourse he also sports a pair of brown pants (*more information on brown pants in the Spongebob paragraph above). Overall Richard Watterson's design is that of someone who is dependable and strong in his own way.

[l-in-the-light]

I'm super glad you enjoyed the posts! It's always such a nice feeling to share an analysis (something I really enjoy to do) and see that it was fun for others as well to discover things alongside me. And I'm so glad you joined my camp about Katakuri and Brulee's special bond :3

You made a lot of good points to extend and deepen the interpretation! Especially pointing out that his thoughts on being defeated the first time were about Brulee in particular. Yosh, I will take this opportunity to share my own extra thoughts as well, because ever since I have written the posts I had a few new insights on both Katakuri and Brulee.

One thought I had only after some time passed, was about Brulee roleplaying an evil witch. She's doing exactly the same thing Katakuri is doing, when you think about it. She tries to look scary and act menacing, just like Katakuri's strategy is to make people fear him. I will venture slightly into my headcanon territory for this paragraph. I assume that even after Katakuri put some sort of distance between himself and his favourite sister, Brulee kept on observing him and wondered why Katakuri changed so much and if that was somehow related to what happened to her (she might have blamed herself). Even after she got her devil fruit she kept on observing him, this time using her sneaky mirror abilities, which were perfect for that and made it easier for her to observe him, and that's how she discovered the truth. She realized that Katakuri is still the same Katakuri deep down inside, enjoying his donuts and sweets, and that must have made her feel so relieved! And then she started to understand that everything he did was just an act. Instead of confronting him about this she decided to show support in different way than before, after all she didn't want it to backfire like the first time! So she started to act menacingly as well, and that scar on her face probably helped quite a lot with that (her nose as well, I imagine). This time her choice was to show silent solidarity with her brother. And that's how she became a witch, to protect their family together with him. They're both good actors imo :D

Something that Oda revealed only in the Vivre Card in the end about Katakuri, is the reason why his mouth is ripped apart like that. He mentioned in the SBS that his mouth wasn't ripped from ear to ear since his birth, but even in his flashback he already has his scar.

This info above collected and translated from Vivre Cards is thanks to Library of Ohara. This is interesting, because originally I thought Katakuri might have gotten his scar by protecting someone (it would come full circle if it was Brulee) or because Big Mom's children got bullied for things she did (kinda Ace-Roger scenario). But no, this reason, as goofy as it sounds, is actually yet another similarity between Katakuri and Luffy! They both overeat, after all. And I have my suspicion that the reason for their eating habits is also the same in both cases. Luffy was basically abandoned in his childhood, Garp was too busy to take care of him regularly, Dragon was absent, we have no idea who or where Luffy's mom was, but we know for sure Luffy didn't even know her. When Luffy meets Ace he says he doesn't mind if Ace beats him up, as long as he doesn't leave him alone, because Luffy hates that the most in the whole world.

Being abandoned can be considered a traumatic experience and one example of a maladaptive behaviour as the result of trauma is eating when feeling anxious, stressed out or experiencing a trigger. In other words, child eats away their negative emotions, because a full stomach makes them feel momentarily happy and safe, which is a feeling they're lacking when parents are absent or neglectful. The downside of it is, one gets addicted to eating to deal with any stressful situations in life, and soon it escalates to the point when they're eating simply all the time, unable to stop, because that's the only way they know how to deal with their emotions. Luffy certainly shows those symptoms and in Whole Cake Island it's really exposed, because Luffy even declares stuff like this:

Since Luffy and Katakuri mirror each other, and act like each other's reflections (they even meet each other when both are facing a similar crisis, Katakuri has to re-experience the same fear from his childhood when he was unable to protect Brulee, Luffy has to face the fear of people dear to him sacrificing themselves for him. If you think about that, isn't it exactly the same fear, just reversed?), I suppose we can assume Katakuri is exactly the same when it comes to food. We know already Big Mom didn't really take care of her children (tbh many of her kids do not seem that fond of her, most of them are kinda scared, and they have pretty good reasons for it), that's why the siblings bonds in her family are so strong: they basically HAD TO take care of each other. Katakuri definitely also felt neglected as a child and he dealt with that by overeating. It's even more visible in his case than in Luffy's, because he really focuses on sugar that is famous for being a mood booster. I can relate to a certain degree, my brain runs solely on sugar. At some point I might write a seperate post about Luffy and his overeating issues and I will for sure mention at least one paragaph about Katakuri there as well.

Brulee accepting Katakuri's eating habits and supporting his pride in himself and self-acceptance of how he looks, feels even more special now. It doesn't matter whether she knows it's a maladaptive behaviour on his part, an unhealthy habit, she accepts it because it's his source of strength to carry on and thinks it's very admirable. Many characters in One Piece turn their suffering and traumas into their source of strength, which is a positive message, even if it doesn't agree with our usual understanding of healing from traumas (which is: hide it, get rid of all the symptoms, anything that hurts your health or doesn't adapt to the norms to acceptable degree needs to be cut off and discarded, even if it helped you survive for decades. Basically erase the trauma like it never existed, like a cold or flu). And yet... Traumas don't truly ever go away, and even tho it's important to develop healthy ways of dealing with it (healthy means ones that don't result in hurting yourself or others), it's also important not to blame a traumatized person for their behaviour. Trauma or maladaptive behaviours that come as a result of it, are never the fault of the person who is traumatized!

Do I enjoy destroying goofiness in One Piece in favour of revealing the darker truths? I guess I do, heh. I feel guilty laughing when Law was actually having his trigger episode, I feel bad laughing at Luffy (and calling him an idiot) for not recognizing Strawhats in Sabaody, while actually they all have valid reasons for their behaviours that aren't their fault. Now you all need to suffer together with me!

Also fun trivia about Brulee's favourite food, also from Vivre cards:

Brulee also loves donuts and I bet you anything it's because they're Katakuri's favourites :D

Prettiness is an important theme indeed in Whole Cake Island. But it's just another take on acceptance, imo. Katakuri fought with people who made fun of him, because despite believing himself that he is fine just the way he is, it's a different matter altogether when others accept you for that as well. After he heard Brulee tell him he is fine the way he is, that was probably more than enough for him, that's why he had no problem hiding his face from now on. Deep down he knows he doesn't need to beat up people to prove his worth anymore, he has someone who accepts him just the way he is, and for that person he will do just about anything.

But how was it for Brulee? We never hear her side of the story. Maybe when Katakuri changed and started to hide his face she thought she isn't accepted for her scar and looks as well? Maybe there was a time when she hated it because it pushed Katakuri away from her and also made him hide his own face as well? And yet she couldn't hate her looks completely, because she knew that scar means a lot to her, it's her proof of love towards her brother. It probably took some time for her to realize the reason behind Katakuri's behaviour and it probably freed her in some way, but it can't exactly erase the self-depreciating thoughts she had before. That takes some time to heal. Also let's not forget that even before she got her scar, she had quite an outstanding nose. She might have felt connected in a way to Katakuri, who also had a feature on his face that is considered "ugly", but he instead wore it like it's his pride. Maybe she wanted to be the same way and that's why she looked up to him. Maybe Katakuri at some point in their childhood told her she is good the way she is as well, which sounds to me exactly like a thing Katakuri could say as a child.

Self-acceptance can have many shades, but it always comes down to finding people who say you're just fine and they become your source of inner strength in a way. So Brulee wearing her scar in the open can be also be seen as her way of returning the favour too; look at me, I wear my scar in the open, you can do it as well. Or even it might be her way of taking the baton, like she is trying to be the source of strength for her brother by not hiding her face. Now she is the rolemodel Katakuri was once for her! Who knows, maybe she passed it down to other members of their family as well. But it doesn't mean she can't still feel unconfident about her appearance, because it's not that easy to overcome her own deeply rooted fear. So she might have meant it when she said she will make Nami ugly by ripping her face too and I don't think it's a contradiction, one doesn't exclude the other, she can still think Katakuri is amazing while being afraid she herself is ugly (appearance is always more important for females than guys). Sanji telling Brulee that compliment in OP Red is again him casually saving female hearts, little bit by little bit.

I might want to delve into Whole Cake Island analysis in the future, so I kept your request in my inbox. I don't know when the post will happen, but I will be sure to tag you when it does. It might take a long, long while though, I have a lot of ideas for posts and I'm currently working on a few already haha.

As for the future development of Whole Cake Island and Katakuri… in Wano they commented a bit on it:

It seems Katakuri is still holding a big esteem in the family, so even if Flampe did what she wanted, it didn't affect him as much as she would want to, heh. Which is great news actually :D or perhaps Brulee caught that little shit and made sure she wouldn't do anything to hurt her dearest brother. She can hear and see everything that happens in the mirror world, so it is likely she took care of her herself.

What I'm most intrigued by is Pudding's situation. There's no way Katakuri would leave her to her own fate. And yet he's still sitting on Whole Cake Island. We know he's a strategist, so maybe he's plotting a come back of some kind? We know how dedicated he is to protecting his siblings, I'm sure he will not just abandon Pudding, Brulee would be sad over it after all. I wonder when will we see development on that!

Through the Looking Glass, and What Luffy&Katakuri Found There (2/2)

Part 2 of my analysis of Luffy and Katakuri's similarities, done on request from @mewiyev. Part one is here, in case you're interested: https://www.tumblr.com/l-in-the-light/763628387804856320 (you can read it in any order you want, but part 1 is meant to be the first chronologically).

To continue from where we left off, to understand Katakuri and his vow and what kind of a person he actually is, we need to do things in reverse. By starting with analyzing his talk with Brulee and his flashback.

Brulee removes the hat from Katakuri's face like it's not a big deal, despite what she just said. And of course she does, because she prefers him when he isn't hiding how he looks.

She seems genuinely more curious than disappointed. Also she came back here because she was worried about him, brought first aid with her as well.

Katakuri on the other hand finally says something he has been keeping a secret from everyone.

Seeing from his reaction, he also kept it a secret from Brulee as well. This is the first time he realizes she already knew. She's also so happy that he's sharing it with her, that *she* doesn't have to pretend not to know as well.

Brulee thinks Katakuri did it for all of them and she's very touched by that. We learn that Katakuri, long time ago, didn't care to make friends, he wouldn't put on appearances or get along with people who make fun of him. He just wanted to be himself, inside and outside, completely transparent. He would always beat up people who made fun of him too.

And then he learned actions come with consequences. "It was my fault it happened to Brulee".

And this is his resolve as the result of it. "I was too soft, too naive!". He decided to be perfect from now on, show no weakness. But let's stop here for a moment. Because how exactly "showing no weakness" or "being perfect" is gonna help prevent similar situations from happening? We can't really reach any conclusion here, unless we go back and ask the question Katakuri himself asked as well: "Why did they go after his sister?"

The answer to that is, surprisingly enough, revealed if we compare Katakuri's flashback to Luffy's. After all, just like accident with Brulee shaped Katakuri, the same way accident with Shanks losing his arm shaped Luffy. There's a clear parallel here so let's look deeper into it.

How did it happen in Luffy's case? Oh, right. Luffy was the one who started the fight with the bandits, because they were talking bad stuff about his friend (Shanks) and he stood up for him. Mountain bandits were just drinking, minding their own business and talking trash about the thing with Shanks that happened the other day. Luffy, who looked up to Shanks, but also just really loved him, couldn't just sit and ignore what he heard.

We're led to believe that the bullies "got revenge" on Brulee, but Katakuri is taken aback. That clearly never happened before. Let's look at what Brulee said after that "Don't worry, it doesn't hurt. If you ask me, you're fine the way you are". No one asked anything about that, why did she say that? We should ask this question and draw a parallel to Luffy. What actually happened was probably Brulee overhearing the kids trashtalking her brother, she told them to take it back, said that Katakuri is fine the way he is and demanded that they apologize to him. Which the kids wouldn't do and some struggle happened, Brulee probably tried to force them to follow her, the situation escalated fast and someone took out a weapon and she got hurt.

She doesn't want Katakuri to know that she got hurt while defending her beloved brother. She didn't want him to worry or blame himself, because she knew Katakuri is actually a gentle kid. So she instead blamed it on the kids, Katakuri can get his revenge and everything will be fine, was probably her reasoning here. But she didn't realize Katakuri figured out the truth. He realized that his attitude of "I don't care what others say about me, I will just beat them up" was naive. That's because he thought it only concerns him. He didn't think it could also affect people he actually cares about. Not only because of the potential revenge, but them trying to defend him as well.

In world of One Piece (but often in our world as well), when you love someone you don't want to hear others say trash about them, you know you need to defend them, take their side. By doing that, you can often endanger yourself to violent situations like this. The only way to prevent this from happening is to reduce reasons for others to try picking fights with you, so people are too scared to badmouth you, and also eliminate all possible reasons why they would make fun of you (in Katakuri's case: covering his face serves that purpose. If they can't see his mouth or witness him eating, they can't laugh. And as the consequence no one needs to defend him and get hurt in the process!).

The same can be said for Luffy, btw. Luffy understands why Katakuri hides his face and what he's trying to protect by doing that. And he approves. Because Luffy is the same. When Shanks saved Luffy, Luffy also blamed himself, just like Katakuri did. Katakuri decided to hide his true nature as the result, from everyone. Never showing his weaknesses, vulnerability, not even his own emotions (enjoyment of eating, for example). Luffy also vowed to himself that he won't show weakness again, won't ask anyone for help, basically won't make the same mistake he did before.

Except it happened again and that wound is still quite fresh in Luffy's mind. In Dressrosa Law, Luffy's dear friend, almost lost an arm because of Luffy's actions. The result wasn't that drastic, because they could still restore Law's arm, but it defnitely gave Luffy quite a scare. Who knows what answer would Luffy reach if he didn't meet Katakuri? What kind of vow would he make to himself to make sure nothing like that ever happens again?

Maybe the very same vow Katakuri once made. "Show no weakness. Make them fear my perfection!" so that no one has to risk their wellbeing for Luffy ever again. Seems Luffy reached a different conclusion in the end and even convinced Katakuri that This Is Not The Way. Do what you have to do to make sure things don't become like that again, but don't close yourself up to the people who are actually dear to you. Everyone deserves a safe haven. First thing Katakuri did after the fight was to tell Brulee the truth (and probably only to her).

You can’t change the past, but you might learn something from it, says Alice from Through the Looking Glass.

The only way to achieve the impossible is to believe it is possible. Is another lesson Luffy relearned in WCI.

And Luffy rediscovered the old truth: there are some things he can't do (like cooking, navigation, fighting with swords etc.), but there is one thing he can do: beating up the biggest threats and fighting seriously. Luffy started the arc and went through it trying to do things in different ways than usually, but only realized that he still sucks at them and can't do them no matter how he tries. (I wrote more about that in this post: https://www.tumblr.com/l-in-the-light/762470814037819392, you don't have to read other posts in the series to read that one).

By the end of the arc Luffy accepts again that he has to rely on others. It feels like nothing really changed after Whole Cake Island, Luffy is still the old Luffy. But sometimes reaffirming who we are is as important as making big changes and decisions. Luffy faces a lot of anxieties about growing up in this arc, just like Alice from Through the Looking Glass does. Both of them start to understand the rules of the "adult" world, are confused by them and proceed blindly through as they learn by making mistakes. And both of them walk out of this experience without dramatically changing themselves. The change will come inevitably either way, no one can avoid growing up, all they can do is to watch it do it's thing in due time, while trying to stay themselves.

Nothing happened, but at the same time, so much happened. Not many are strong enough to keep on being themselves despite hitting the magical adulthood's treshold, right? We try to adjust ourselves to fit other people, like Katakuri did his whole life. He became a people pleaser, thinking that keeping appearances is more important than who he actually is. But he actually doesn't have to be perfect, he can allow himself to fall flat on his back, and it won't mean he broke his vow to protect his siblings. He will still hide his face though to prevent people who care for him from getting hurt for his sake. But he realized that he can prevent it without hiding himself from everyone. He will for sure no longer try to hide from Brulee. She's his new safe haven, where he can act openly like himself, he doesn't need to be perfect for her. I wonder if Luffy will eventually find his safe haven too? Because we all know not all Luffy's smiles are genuine, often he smiles just to make others stop worrying.

Let's go back to Brulee for a moment. She is kinda coded to be Katakuri's most important person, according to my own theory of pirates and their treasures. They both have matching marks on their faces, Katakuri has his mouth ripped from ear to ear, Brulee's scar literally rips her face in half. He hides his mark, Brulee wears hers proudly without trying to hide it, like she is fond of it. And of course she would be, if she earned it defending her most favourite brother in the world, right? One Piece Red shows us beautifully who is her most beloved person, when Nami lures her out of the mirror by saying "you will be stuck here forever if you won't help us, and you will never see your family again!" and Brulee appears, crying "Even my older brother Katakuri??" and upon getting affirmation Brulee decides to help them.

Actually, seeing Whole Cake Island through the lens of this theory significantly changes motivations of Brulee and Katakuri, so let's take a closer look, shall we?

The very moment it's revealed that Brulee was made into unwilling accomplice, Katakuri declares that "there's no way to stop things" anymore. He won't let it slide, after all. He can't let it slide, even. He's the perfect brother meant to protect everyone.

"I'm the victim here, brother!". Big Mom wouldn't care for that excuse. Many times through the arc other characters and Brulee herself mentioned that if Big Mom finds out, Brulee will end up dead. That's why Opera lied (which ended up working in Luffy's advantage too), to save himself from punishment. The said punishment is clearly hinted to be most likely death.

This puts Katakuri in a tough spot. He should punish Brulee or allow others to do it. What he does instead though, is keeping her close to himself at all times.

He takes her to the Sunny with him, he fights Luffy in the mirror world, and I think it's all because he wants to keep an eye so that no one tries to execute punishment on her. He's also making sure it looks like she's making amends for her blunder, which might or might not help. The bottom line here is: he's protecting her by bringing her with him everywhere.

Also that motivation he shares here? "Strawhat Luffy needs to be snuffed out now"? A big fat lie. You can see that Katakuri's eyes are shaded (in One Piece that often means that a character isn't completely honest!). His true motivation is getting revenge on Luffy for manhandling his sister. That's why he waits on Sunny for Luffy to arrive, that's why he tells others to retreat. This fight is personal for Katakuri, it's payback. Would he do the same for any other sibling? Maybe yes, maybe not, but I think Brulee is Katakuri's most beloved person in the world and he would do just about anything for her.

But, you might say, Katakuri cares for all the siblings, he's the perfect brother! Yes, he does. But that doesn't mean he can't have one special sibling he cares about the most, right?

Both Katakuri and Brulee care for their family a lot. Their care is reflected in each other like a mirror image.

And just look how fond he is of her. He's teasing her that she's just gonna sleep all day (is that something that actually happens often, because it sure sounds this way). She's kinda out of the loop here, but he doesn't even acknowledge this because he doesn't have to. He knows Brulee is one tough cookie. We also know that thanks to the flashback. And of course the person who would defend Katakuri like that would become His Most Favourite Person in the world.

Brulee is also always observing Katakuri in this fight. She's worried, but she won't assist him, she knows better than to interefere in his fights. And it's not because she is afraid of punishment or Katakuri disliking her. Oh, if his life was truly in danger, she would easily have done that, she has the guts. She doesn't act just because she doesn't want her brother to suffer the consequences. Let's look at things from her perspective. Once upon a time she defended her brother and got hurt as the result. That was the last time Katakuri showed his face, despite the fact that Brulee loved his face and told him as much. She probably reached conclusion that the change in him is Brulee's fault, she wanted well but caused him pain instead that he doesn't want to experience again. She doesn't want a repeat of that so she doesn't try to interfere anymore.

They both act this way. One is protecting the other by withholding and pretending. Brulee knows Katakuri didn't truly change, thanks to her devil fruit's ability she can peek at him anytime she wants, but she won't call him out on his lie and will play along. They both play the pretend game, which reminds me of polish novella "The Waistcoat", in which wife and husband keep on lying to each other to spare their beloved one pain and ligthen the burden.

"I will pretend to believe your lie and will play along with it, to help you and to keep your spirit up!", is what Brulee is truly doing here.

Also Brulee isn't so weak, and yet she fails to fight Luffy and his crew properly, mostly just trying to sabotage him indirectly. Why? Because he probably reminds her of Katakuri. In One Piece it's a reccuring theme, when one of the characters can't fight someone that reminds them of a dear person or some impostor pretending to be them. Brulee in that frame above almost sounds *worried* for Luffy or unusually interested in him (though she also just wanted to lure him out, not gonna deny that).

Katakuri changed his attitude in that fight after Luffy's return. He realized probably that Luffy would never harm Brulee and he might be grateful for that, and his initial anger for them misusing her kinda dissipated.

On the contrary, suddenly Katakuri seems like he's trying to teach Luffy how to fight, getting disappointed in him when he doesn't deliver. At first he wanted to defeat Luffy in fastest way possible:

It's clear Katakuri's motivation changed in the middle of this battle.

Till it finally reaches this point. What is actually going on inside Katakuri's head? At first, he wants to make up for the blunder of Brulee. He's monitoring the situation outside the mirror world closely. He knows that if they get the Strawhats, Brulee's blunder will get forgotten and he will deliver his revenge at the same time, just like he wanted.

After he realized that Luffy won't hurt Brulee, he decided for another way out of this situation. If they all lose to the Strawhats, Big Mom would have to punish all her children, which she won't do. So if Katakuri loses to Luffy, he will save his face and protect Brulee from punishment at the same time (her blunder wouldn't stand out anymore if they all lose!). That's why he takes the loss against Luffy despite being stronger than him. All of Luffy's last punches miss him while every single one of Katakuri's is landing. Katakuri easily accepts the limit of Luffy's current strength. That's also why he asks him to come again (once he's stronger, too), so they can have a rematch, without the "losing face" shanenigans coming in the way. He allows himself to voice his wish to fight someone strong, just because he wants to fight him in an even fight, not doing it for his family or for keeping appearances.

Just look at this. He's anticipating Luffy "doing the unthinkable". It's like he wants to see it, despite claiming he should probably eliminate him before that happens. In the middle of the fight, with his resentment gone, he started to kinda root for Luffy, he wants to see how far he can take his observation haki in such a short amount of time.

And Katakuri is actually a strategist, we can see that when he tries to manage the situation at the tea party/wedding. Trying to prevent the biggest disaster scenarios, telling his other brothers to assemble two squads to go after Bege and Strawhats while he himself goes to the final goal and waits, so their targets get surrounded from all sides. Even standing guard at the entrance to the tea party proves that he chose the most strategic position to avoid any bad things and twists happening:

He sales it as his haki's premonition, but he truly doesn't need that to know what this guy is planning. He knows Big Mom and her usual modus operandi (and we know it too thanks to explanation from Pekoms), anyone who refuses to attend the tea party (no matter the reasons) will receive a special "gift" - a severed head of someone close to them. Katakuri claims it's his haki at play here just to instill fear and so no one questions him. He strategizes his strong points for maximum impact, and it works fantastically well.

Brulee claims she won't forgive Luffy for hurting Katakuri, even though she knows already that Katakuri is very fond of him. Katakuri doesn't even answer, because what could he say? He did everything there for her and he's still not gonna admit that openly. Brulee doesn't need to see the future to guess Katakuri's reaction either, she knows him so well she doesn't even need that ability. That alone proves she's his favourite sister, imo.

Also, here's a thought. Katakuri might have also realized that Brulee was unusually fond of Strawhat Luffy through this arc, definitely going easy on him. Heh, indeed.

Fun food for thought: Luffy probably wanted to master observation haki just so nothing bad ever happens to someone dear to him on his watch, without him knowing. I bet you anything that's why Katakuri ended up mastering his observation haki too, so the tragedy never repeats again and so he would have a chance to prevent it if it ever does anyway.

This marks the end of my meta on Katakuri :) This one is sooo long. Whoever lasted to the end of it, I hope you enjoyed!

There's more Katakuri and less Luffy here, mostly because I already did the full analysis on Luffy in Whole Cake Island here: https://www.tumblr.com/l-in-the-light/762470814037819392

[kestrel-of-herran]

twenty five twenty one: all my thoughts on episode eight

HELLO AND WELCOME TO LILLY ANALYSIS CENTRAL! please take a seat, grab your favourite drink of choice, and enjoy the mayhem that’s about to ensue!

                                  ~ the balancing act ~

the first thing that strikes you as you enter episode eight is the sharp swerve in conflicts, pacing, and focus. while the previous episode brought us the high stakes emotions of fencing drama, the current installment recalls the series’ milder start by returning to everyday character relationships and the impact of the financial crisis. this much needed lull in the action is practically textbook plotting right after the mid-climax, and glides the story forward masterfully by tying loose threads from the beginning (the “happiness” promise) and opening completely new conflicts for our protagonist, na hee do.

                            ~ the protagonist in love ~

i love love love the way this show is treating hee do and letting her shine just as she deserves. instead of being relegated to the love interest niche, hee do is introduced to us as a person, a growing teen with a dream and the guts to achieve it. at eighteen, she was goofy, reckless, inventive, warm, and wise beyond her years in a way that made it easy to not only relate to her, but look up to her and wish her success as naturally as a heartbeat. at nineteen, we get to see her achieve her biggest dream and feel the world’s unfairness crash on her shoulders. we see her rage and her catharsis, and we see her move on with her daily life after the storm, bruised but still herself.

but the achievement of a dream only opens up the pursuit of a new one. now that hee do has climbed this staircase, she’s found herself at the threshold of a new step: coming of age.

the beginning of hee do’s self-conscious romantic arc is so satisfying because we already know her so well. we have already followed her through so many ups and downs, quietly wondering in the back of our minds, i wonder who she’ll be when she falls in love. and what wonderfully down-to-earth answer we got – as relatable and inspirational as she’s always been. when she attacks the yearbook in an academic-study-level hunt for yi jin’s ex girlfriend, when she begins to examine every minuscule moment between her an yi jin, when she struggles to be seen by him for who she is becoming, we laugh for her, we feel for her, and we cheer her on.

her monologue when she compares her life path to yi jin’s once again showcases her incredible emotional intelligence, and the conflict the show brings between her and yi jin by showing the helpless disparity of their worldviews on the edge of adulthood is heartbreaking in such a beautifully familiar way.

                                   ~ redemption arcs ~

the only thing i want to touch upon in this section can be summed by a bulgarian proverb: “whatever calls, the same will answer.”

forgiveness requires sincerity. it requires a genuine desire and effort to make amends at the cost of one’s pride. it comes after the realization that your relationship with the other is more important than your thoughts and feelings at the point in time when you hurt them.

yu rim’s financial difficulties are heartbreaking, her methods of coping are mildly horrifying, but her attitude towards hee do remains unexplainable and irredeemable unless she willingly changes how she treats hee do. no amount of dramatic crying in the pool can soften the audience towards the refusal of a simple kindness like handing over a pair of scissors, and i think the show knows this very well. if anyone is moving our hearts with her behaviour towards a nemesis/online bestie, it’s hee do again, reacting with genuine sympathy when she witness yu rim breaking down. at the same time, yu rim relays the distress she caused hee do to yi jin with calmness and a vague “it’s not my fault so you can’t blame me but i don’t want you to hate me so i’ll demonstrate some critical thought” angle.

and for the record, i don’t hate yu rim, but i can’t like her either. all my initial interest towards her character has fizzled into vague distaste, like the metallic aftertaste of cheap ice cream that probably contained something that could kill you with enough build-up in fifty years. i can’t feel a single thing towards her, because she isn’t giving me anything to build a connection upon that isn’t directed towards her personal catastrophe, while characters who struggle no less than her in their own battles, like yi jin and hee do, constantly put their self pity aside and go out of their way to help and comfort others. hee do would comfort yu rim when she’s crying; would yu rim do the same for hee do? only when this answer becomes “yes” can i begin to care for her character; until then, she is as isolated in this series as an ice statue in the middle of a protest march.

                          ~ endings and beginnings ~

has anyone else watched “you’ve got mail”? it’s a lovely 90s american romcom about two sworn rivals, the owner of an indie bookstore and the ceo of a bookstore chain threatening to put the indie bookstore out of business. oh, and they���re online pen pal best friends who hate each other’s guts in public, then rant about the other in their emails. as you’ve already guessed, this is a love story.

the ending of today’s episode finally explained why the show teased its audience with the false hint that yi jin is hee do’s online pen pal – because he eventually gets entangled in the complicated relationship between hee do and yu rim.

i’m head over heels in love with the choices of the show-makers here: making hee do’s pen pal her fencing rival, which becomes the prerequisite for a pivotal shift in their relationship, based on their true hearts rather than the tough faces they show the world; yu rim’s genuine reaction of fear and disbelief when she realizes the truth, followed by her inability to process her emotions when she understands that the rivalry she fueled for months and months was a war she led against the same person she also cherished all this time; placing yi jin at the crossroads between hee do’s honest feelings for him and for her pen pal, thus inspiring her to believe in her ability to be seen as his equal not only in pranks, but in love.

the contrast between yu rim and hee do is once again in sharp focus: when the irl they’re having a rough patch with turns out to be their online best friend, yu rim spits on her heels. but not hee do. hee do takes a deep breath, straightens her shoulders that have endured fall after fall, and becomes bold enough to fill the shoes she desperately wants to be big enough for.

in this moment, she isn’t walking towards yi jin in a sunlit street: she’s advancing towards him on the piste. in this moment, the yellow rose she grips might as well be a sword aimed for his heart.

and the best part is that he sees her. he sees her just as she wanted him to see her: as a worthy opponent willing to stop at nothing to win. and, my god, that girl was born to win.

[tape clicks. in the background, muffled as if the speaker is screaming through a pillow:]

“i have to have you”??? “I HAVE TO HAVE YOU”????? if i was baek yi jin i’d get on my knees then and there my gOD–

[freedomseeker91]

Behind Frenemy Lines....

Summary: Aubrey Posen is the head of an elite team of agents in the FBI’s BAU department. When the threat of a domestic attack on the capital emerges, Beca Mitchell and Chicago Walp, two of her best agents and former Special Ops soldiers, are dispatched as part of an FBI Special Task Force. But what Aubrey commits to out of a sense of duty, could result in her losing her long standing friendship with fellow agent and best friend Chloe Beale, aka, Beca Mitchell’s wife. 

Rating: T for Angst

Warnings: None

FBI Headquarters – Quantico, Virginia

Headquarters was a hive of activity that morning as news of a potential domestic terrorist attack in Washington filtered in from the Pentagon, putting the FBI on high alert. Agents were frantically pooling resources to try gain more intel on the situation as the heads of department tried to organise teams on the ground.

Chloe manoeuvred her way down the corridor, a coffee cup in one hand, an open file in the other. She skipped around some people who rushed past her, spinning around and bellowing an irritated ‘easy’ after them and spun back around only to collide with another body.

This one, had the decency to steady her on her feet as hands came up to settle on her hips, squeezing playfully.

“Somebody didn’t get their morning coffee early enough,” came a playful, teasing voice and Chloe cocked her head to the side and grinned back.

“That’s because someone kept me up half the night with their smartass mouth,” Chloe sassed back whacking them with the file she was holding, the victim of her attack giving her hips another firm squeeze.

“You seemed to find my smartass mouth pretty magical last night.”

At this Chloe grinned and leaned in, one arm coming up to wrap around a pale slender neck, file dangling from her hand as lips began to eagerly seeking more and as tongues began to dual, Chloe hummed in response.

“Ah yes. Now I remember,” she mumbled, as a hand worked its way down her back to gently grope at her bottom in a playful yet suggestive manner.

“MITCHELL! Please stop molesting my team members in public,” a voice hollered from the walkway over the bull pen.

The hand that had been resting on the curve of Chloe’s ass cheek suddenly snapped back and raised itself in the air along with its partner in a show of surrender, Agent Beca Mitchell turning to face Senior Agent Aubrey Posen who was glaring down at her.

“Yes your honour!” She saluted, earning an eye roll and a shake of the head from her superior as she walked away.

Chloe chuckled behind her as she took another sip of her coffee. Once Aubrey was out of sight Beca turned back around rolling her eyes.

“She does know I’m on her team too right?” Beca said and Chloe nodded her head.

“Oh she’s very aware. You also hold the distinction of being the biggest pain in her ass,” Chloe replied as Beca gazed off into the distance a goofy grin on her face as she thought of the all time she had spent winding Aubrey up purely for her own amusement.

“Yeah,” she sighed, “sure made it fun watching her try to say nice things about me during the speeches at our wedding though,” Beca chuckled and Chloe rolled her eyes, shoving her wife out of the way so she could continue her trek back to her desk.

Heading down the steps into the bullpen, Chloe took up residence at her desk which was right next to her wife, positioned so that they were facing one another.

Across the way was Stacie and Jessica, next to them, Bumper and Callie, or Calamity as she went by. Next to Beca and Chloe sat Jesse and Benji and completing their little group was Theo and Chicago.

Their team was rounded out by Emily, who acted as the team liaison officer with Patricia Hobart, or Fat Amy as she called herself, who was the chief tech expert and hacker.

The unit was comprised of a mix of FBI graduates who specialised in behavioural analysis, and former military personnel who came equipped with combat experience creating a balance of brain and brawn.

The agents with a military background helped to train their team and other agents in combat, while the graduates used their expertise to further educate their military equivalent in criminal psychology.

Through this development and training strategy, the FBI graduates were as competent in combat as any soldier, while the former soldiers were all qualified in the field of psychology, making them just as adept at reading and understanding the criminal mind.

It was a fast track process the FBI had created and implemented to create elite teams within their agencies, and so far, the success rate had made the strategy worth it.

Chloe, Stacie, Jessica, Bumper and Benji had all graduated from the FBI academy, climbing the ranks through the system. While Beca, Calamity, Chicago, Jesse and Theo had found their way to the FBI after seeing combat on the frontlines.

Beca and Chicago specifically had been members of an elite Special Ops Force and were both heavily recognised as war heroes within military and law enforcement ranks. Their skills usually saw them spearheading operations out in the field and on numerous occasions, they had been deployed as part of a special task team within the FBI.

Aubrey Posen acted as overall team leader. Ranking among the top students in the academy, she excelled as an agent, quickly solidifying her place as the leader of her team under the mentorship and guidance of the head of operations, Gail Abernathy, or as Beca liked to call her Mother Superior.

Chloe and Stacie were the most skilled in behavioural analysis and often worked closely with Aubrey on most missions. They were usually the ones getting local law enforcement on the ground up to speed on cases, whilst also compiling and analysing evidence and information so their team could create an accurate profile.

As for Beca and Chloe’s relationship, let’s just say their partnership proved beneficial on more than just a personal level. Out in the field they made a formidable pairing and their interrogation tactics were often the most fruitful in sealing confessions, or at the very least, digging for information.

Chloe was an empath by nature and had a remarkable ability to gauge the feeling and vibe within a room. This ability helped her not only to understand the victims, but allowed her to find the human side within even the most heinous criminals, allowing her to navigate beyond their well-structured walls and gain valuable insight inside their twisted minds.

Beca meanwhile was the opposite. Much like the criminals she encountered, she too understood the mentality of shielding ones self behind such walls, of being able to separate human emotion from the actions they felt compelled to carry out. Being in the Special Ops, she herself had been forced to look beyond the human to get the job done.

However, the difference between Beca and the criminals she encountered, was that for Beca, that ability was born out of necessity in order to survive in environments that were designed to take her out, to defend those in need of defending and to ensure that the most dangerous criminal masterminds on the planet, never had the chance to carry out their destructive plans.

But this insight into dealing with deranged sociopaths in high intensity situations, gave her the tools to be able to engage with psychotic killers’ head on. Where Chloe used her empathy and intuition to see what was going on underneath, Beca was an impenetrable wall, one that often times shielded Chloe from getting too lost within the intensity of the situations they faced. Keeping her anchored to the surface so she didn’t get lost to the murky water underneath.

Beca had arrived in Quantico with Chicago just before Aubrey had been promoted to team leader and had been paired up with Chloe to fill the vacant spot Aubrey had left behind. Chicago has been paired up with Theo who had just finished service in the military himself.

While the team worked as an overall unit, they were paired off to make designating work that much easier. Agents were often paired with a fellow agent whose skills helped to improve the overall effectiveness of their work rate.

Though Beca and Chloe seemed like total opposites on a surface level, there was something about their personal characters which seemed to blend together perfectly, and while they initially tried to keep their partnership strictly professional, feelings developed and love found a way to blossom, and with the blessing of their superiors, they gave in and had been happily married for just over a year.

While office romances weren’t encouraged, they also weren’t forbidden, as long as they didn’t interfere with an agents’ ability to do their job and carry out their duties. Case in point, romance had also blossomed between Aubrey and Stacie, while Emily and Benji had been engaged in the early buddings of another office romance as well. Bumper and Fat Amy weren’t a couple, but they did bump uglies every now and again to blow off steam in the words of Fat Amy.

This was something the rest of the agents were happy not to acknowledge as the mental images alone were often times more than any of them could handle. As the group began conversing on the information they had gathered in relation to the potential terrorist attacks, Aubrey appeared at the handrail of the walkway and called out to gain their attention.

“Conference room in 10 minutes. Gail wants to go over everything we know so far,” she said before turning on her heel and heading back to her own office, effectively killing the conversation as Beca turned in her seat to face Chloe.

“I do love a family get together. It’s like Thanksgiving with your folks but instead of your bigoted aunt I’ve got Aubrey shooting death daggers at me,” she sighed and Chloe tossed a stress ball that had been sitting on her desk right at her wife’s head, missing by mere inches as the brunette caught it and held it up in her hand while pointing her finger at her with the other.

“We really need to have a discussion about your physically abusive nature.”

Just then a pencil bounced off of her head and Beca dropped both her hands down on the desk and shook her head.

“You wound me Beale,” she sighed dramatically as Chloe gathered up her files and stood up from her desk.

“Yeah well if you don’t get a move on you’ll be the walking wounded if Aubrey gets her hands on you,” Chloe sassed back, as she began making her way across the pen and up the steps.

Beca leaned back in her chair, head cocked to the side and watched her leave, noticing the way Chloe added a little sashay in her stride that really made her ass sway, the redhead shooting her a knowing wink over her shoulder just as she reached the top step and disappeared into the meeting room.

As Bumper passed by her desk he stopped and swivelled on the spot.

“Damn, Beales really been working on those glutes,” he said and Beca straightened her head, though her eyes remained focused on the meeting room Chloe had disappeared into.

“I know four different ways to snap your neck and none of them involve breaking a sweat,” she replied and Bumper quickly turned on his heel and headed for his desk.

“Got it.”

Turning back around toward her desk, Beca gathered up her own files of intel and stood up, grabbing her coffee mug and the now empty one off of Chloe’s desk and headed to the canteen for refills before making her way through the bull pen and up to the meeting room as everyone began filtering in for the briefing.

Waking around the desk, she took the vacant seat next to her wife and placed one of the coffee cups down in front of her, Chloe beaming at the gesture and pressing a kiss to her cheek, earning herself whipping sounds from Jesse from across the desk.

Beca gave him a two fingered salute as she flipped open her files just in time for Aubrey and Gail to make their entrance.

“Alright we’ve got a lot to get through and not a lot of time to get to the bottom of it. Posen you’re up,” Gail said as she took her seat at the front of the room as Aubrey flicked on the screen to show the details of some of their suspects.

“Okay, so far we have six ID’s on potential suspects. Get a good look because these are the faces of the domestic threat to the US.”

 ****Behind Frenemy Lines****

“Ugh, I’m starving. I can’t do anything else until I eat. You want Taco’s from that new place?” Chloe asked as she dumped the files on her desk, gazing up at her wife who was staring at something on her phone.

“Hey, everything okay?” She asked, brow furrowed and Beca’s head shot up and she gave it a quick nod.

“What? Oh yeah, fine. Just flicking through some news alerts to see if there’s been any other info released we need to keep tabs on,” Beca grinned, slipping her phone onto her desk, “tacos sound great.”

Chloe tipped her head, not quite believing her wife but chose to leave it for later when they had some alone time and weren’t dealing with a potential domestic terrorist attack on their own doorstep. Beca opened up some files and sat down.

“I’ll get a head start on getting background on our new suspects. Can you get some extra chips and guac, think this is gonna be a long one,” Beca groaned and Chloe nodded her head as she slipped on her blazer and collected her wallet from her desk. Stepping around it she leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of Beca’s head as she passed.

“I’ll be as quick as I can. Text me if you want anything else while I’m out,” she called out, already half way across the bull pen and heading up the steps towards the corridor that would lead to the exit.

Beca watched her go and once she was out of sight, she turned her head to face Chicago, noticing he too was reading something on his phone. When he glanced up he caught Beca’s eye and she tipped her head at him, before she stood up and crossed the room, both of them heading up the steps towards Aubrey’s office.

Knocking on the door, they stepped inside Aubrey’s office and the blonde looked up from her paperwork and acknowledged them.

“Good you’re here,” she said as she stood up, making her way around her desk, past her agents and closing the door behind them.

“Have a seat, we need to talk. It’s time sensitive,” Aubrey said, Beca and Chicago exchanging knowing looks before taking up residence in the leather chairs in front of the blondes desk, Aubrey returning to her own seat.

“The Pentagon have issued a call out. This threat has been elevated to a red status alert. They want the best of the best on the ground. We need you to link up with the agencies Special Task Force,” Aubrey stated and Beca and Chicago simply exchanged looks before focusing back on Aubrey who they could tell was stressed beneath her composed façade.

“I know I don’t need to tell you how serious this is, or how dangerous it is, but please, exercise due care. You’re to report straight to special task command, the chopper is leaving asap. Don’t engage with the rest of our team,” she said.

Beca and Aubrey gazed directly at one another, the brunette reading the meaning behind her words, ‘Don’t tell Chloe, and I’m sorry I have to be the one to do this’. Beca knew Aubrey was caught between a rock and a hard place, but her job as leader was to carry out the orders given to her, she was just doing her job. It wasn’t her fault Beca and Chicago were so damn good at what they did.

With that the agents tipped their heads and stood up, exiting the room. They stopped briefly outside the office Chicago looking at his fellow agent.

“How ugly do you think this thing is going to get?” He asked and Beca huffed out a breath.

“We’re fighting against our own countrymen, it’s about as ugly as it can get. At least overseas the enemy wasn’t someone who should’ve been fighting with you instead of against you,” Beca replied and Chicago’s jaw clenched at her words.

“We better get going,” he said as he made to leave and Beca placed a hand on his arm to guide him in that direction.

“You go ahead I’ll be right there. I just need to grab something from my desk,” she said. Chicago wanted to argue against her delaying, knowing she was going to do something she probably shouldn’t, but he relented and carried on his way.

Beca jogged down the steps into the bull pen and returned to her desk. She grabbed a piece of paper, scribbled something on it and then folded it in half. Raising up her left hand, she gazed at the wedding ring that sat on her finger, twisting it for a moment, before freeing it from her finger and placing it down in between the fold of the piece of paper.

 Once she was done, she raced back out of the bull pen, up the steps and down the corridor. As she ran she brushed past Jesse who just about managed to avoid spilling his coffee as he dodged her advance.

“Hey what’s the hurry?” he shouted after her and Beca simply kept moving.

“Can’t talk, gotta go,” was her only response.

Jesse’s brow furrowed as he watched her leave, taking a bite out of his doughnut as he shook his head and continued on his way back to his desk.

 ****Behind Frenemy Lines****

Dropping the large brown take out bag of food on her desk, Chloe released a heaving sigh as she scrambled out of her blazer and rolled up her sleeves. Her appetite long since forgotten. She had only placed her order and been waiting in the queue at the take out place when a barrage of news alerts popped up on her phone that bombs were going off at several locations near the White House.

She had just made a mad dash back to headquarters to find the place bustling with activity as tv screens all around the office focused in on the news, watching the events unfold. It was only a matter of time before her team were dispatched to try and locate the suspects. Or so she thought.

“What the hell happened? I’ve been gone half an hour and it looks like a warzone in Washington,” she said as she made her way over and stood by Stacie, both of them staring up at the screen. The brunette shrugged her shoulders as Jesse raised the volume on the tv from his position leaning against one of the desks the far side of Stacie.

“Apparently the timeline they gave us for a potential attack was a little off, and by a little, like, a lot,” Stacie said shaking her head at the mess that was now playing out right before their eyes.

Chloe scanned the room to locate her wife but couldn’t see her anywhere.

“Where’s Beca?” she asked as she crossed her arms over her chest, Jesse gesturing with the remote over his shoulder.

“She bolted out of here about a half hour ago. Didn’t say where,” he said and Chloe frowned at this, her instincts beginning to tingle that something was off.

As she watched the screen, she could see the intensity of the gun fire and the smokey orange haze of areas that had been bombed, the images on screen sending shivers down her spine. This wasn’t just a domestic terrorist attack, it was an insurrection. This wasn’t some attack that had been planned over a manner of days or weeks, this was something that had been years in the making.

Images scrolled by of military trucks flying through the streets, tanks being rolled out around the parameter of the White House to create an exclusion zone, the banner across the bottom of the screen reeling past information of the many wounded and dead from the attack so far with the violence escalating in rapid time.

It had been planned, the bombings, it was all to throw them off so that by the time they had gathered the intel, the insurrectionists would already be on the ground before security could be put in place. Chloe watched as the news reporter gestured to something in the background.

“As you can hear from the gun fire and the blasts behind me, this is a high alert situation, the city is being evacuated. And I’m just being told that the government are deploying military and Special Ops forces into the city to try and push back against the insurgents.”

Chloe’s face paled as the words she had just heard began to sink in. Special Ops. Beca’s absence. The phone scrolling.

She whipped her head around just in time to see Aubrey standing by the walkway overlooking the bull pen, chest heaving as she took in the blondes stoic expression. Stacie turned and caught the glances between both women, putting two and two together in her own head. As Chloe made to move Stacie tried to hold her back with a hand on her arm.

“Chloe, don’t” Stacie started to say but the redhead was already heading for the steps, as Aubrey stepped inside her office.

The redhead bounded down the walk way and burst into Aubrey’s office slamming the door behind her. The blonde placed her hands on her hips and straightened her back as the redhead approached her.

“How could you?” Chloe seethed and Aubrey swallowed thickly.

She couldn’t be Chloe’s best friend in this moment, she had to wear her agency hat, the one that placed her in a position of authority.

“We had orders from higher up to deploy our best agents to the special task team. Beca and Chicago are part of that rank. You know that Chloe. I had to give them their orders to report to the field of duty,” Aubrey explained in a matter-of-fact tone and Chloe gestured with her finger behind her to the are outside the door.

“That’s not some regular case Bree that’s a fucking suicide mission!” Chloe shouted, “they have no idea what they’re walking into.”

Aubrey blanched at this because Chloe was right. This was way beyond the scope they thought they had been working with. But she had a job to do, Beca understood that, Chicago understood it. It had to be done. Aubrey was the team leader it was her job to make the tough calls, she had to put personal feelings aside.

“Chloe, I need you to understand, it’s my job to follow orders,” Aubrey began to say but Chloe wasn’t having it.

“Fuck you Bree!” she bellowed, face red from the anger she was trying and failing to restrain, “would you be this sentimental about your job if it was Stacie?” she queried and the words felt like a sucker punch to Aubrey who held her pointer finger up towards Chloe.

“That’s not fair,” she said and Chloe brushed her off.

“No Bree what’s not fair is you picking and choosing when to shut off your emotions and when to switch them back on. But that’s always been your MO right? Ever since college. Doesn’t matter who gets hurt as long as you get your way and you get to control everything.”

Aubrey’s jaw clenched at this. She knew Chloe was scared and reacting out of fear, but that didn’t make her words hurt any less. This was her best friend. Aubrey had been caught between a rock and a hard place and had made a decision based on what she thought was in the best interest of keeping people alive. That’s why they were in the job they were in. To serve and protect.

“If you’re done, you can leave,” Aubrey said, arms crossed over her chest, and Chloe just shook her head, lips curled in disgust.

“Oh believe me, I’m more than done.”

With that she turned on her heel, ripped open the door and slammed it shut, Aubrey’s emotional dam breaking now that her best friend wasn’t standing right in front of her.

As Chloe stormed down the steps through the bull pen everyone watched on as she jogged down the corridor and out of the office, needing to get some air before she passed out.

Having heard the ruckus, Stacie retreated to Aubrey’s office, knowing her girlfriend needed her and suggesting that the others leave Chloe be so that she could collect herself.

She didn’t know the full details, but she knew they were in for a rough ride.

 ****Behind Frenemy Lines****

“I get that she’s mad but it’s not like I had a choice. Beca and Chicago know that, hell Chloe even knows it. This is what the Special Task Force is for,” Aubrey offloaded as Stacie stood leaned up against the far wall by the door, listening to her girlfriend vent as she paced the floor.

“Would you have though?” Stacie asked, stopping Aubrey in her tracks as the blonde rubbed her brow, feeling the beginnings of a headache coming on.

“Would I what?” Aubrey asked as she perched herself on the back rest of one of the leather chairs in front of her desk so she was facing the brunette.

“Would you have made the same call if it had been me and not Beca?” Stacie asked, and the blonde faltered at this.

“That’s not a fair question, I have superiors too, I have orders and directives to carry out,” Aubrey said and Stacie stood up from the wall and eradicated the distance between them, placing her hands on Aubrey’s upper arms.

“Babe I get that, and I’m not asking you this to be a bitch, I’m just asking you as your girlfriend. If it had been me would you have made the same call?” Stacie asked again staring her straight in the eye, daring her to try talk her way around it.

But Aubrey couldn’t. As she sat there, mouth bobbing up and down trying to find words, she couldn’t bring herself to say yes. Because truth be told, as she gazed deep into Stacie’s eyes, she couldn’t imagine ever having to make that choice.

“No,” she finally whispered, resigning herself to the fact Chloe had been partially right, and Aubrey had in fact shut off her emotions when she had passed on the orders to Beca and Chicago, she had to.

Even though she would never openly admit it out loud, Beca was her friend too. She may have been a pain in her ass but she cared about her. But they still had jobs to do. As she sat there with a wave of guilt washing over her, Stacie rubbed her hands up and down Aubrey’s arms.

“Now see it from Chloe’s point of view. She’s scared as hell. The truth is we don’t know how dangerous this could get and it’s escalating so fast. Everybody is flying blind on this thing and her wife, is caught up in the middle of it.”

Aubrey dropped her head against Stacie’s chest, breathing deeply. It wasn’t often Aubrey hated her job, but in this very moment she despised it.

“What am I gonna do Stace? If anything happens to Beca, Chloe…..,” Aubrey couldn’t finish her sentence. She couldn’t bear to think of all the potential outcomes. Couldn’t bear the thought of potentially losing her best friend. Stacie sighed as she stroked blonde hair.

“We hope like hell that everything works out. That’s all we can do.”

 ****Behind Frenemy Lines****

Half an hour later, Chloe returned inside to find that the tv screens had been split. While some were still streaming constant news feeds, the two largest screens in the room were showing a live stream feed of body cams that were being worn by members of the agencies special task force.

As she slowly made her way towards her desk, Chloe’s heart stopped cold when through the crackling noise of gun fire, she heard a familiar voice speaking over radio to another agent.

 Beca.

She found herself stopping at her wife’s desk, it being the one that was facing towards the tv’s and she sat down, blue eyes focused on the screen. They were in some sort of multi storey parking garage which looked like it had already been damaged from explosions. From somewhere in the room she could hear other agents talking about what they had seen.

“Damn I heard they already cleared the first two floors, took out 15 guys already. Mitchell is a machine.”

Chloe laid a hand down on the desk and she bristled when she felt something odd pressing against her palm. She glanced down and found a folded sheet of white paper sitting on her wife’s desk. Lifting her hand, she picked it up and as she did, she heard the thud of something metal hitting the surface of the desk.

She looked down, and staring back at her, was a ring. Beca’s wedding band. She picked it up and held it between her thumb and pointer finger as she regarded it for a moment, before focusing her attention back on the note as she flipped it open. There, in her wife’s messy scrawl, a message penned to her.

‘Not gonna make lunch. But can you do me a favour and hold this till I get back? Love you, B x’

It was Beca’s innocuous way of downplaying the gravity of the situation. Letting Chloe know that no matter what happened, her intention was to make it home. Just as she had finished reading the note, the sound of an explosion cut through the feed as the screens went blank.

There was an audible gasp in the room, and Chloe’s eyes stared blankly at the black screen, the only contrast being the text across the middle of it that simply read ‘signal lost’

Standing up, she braced herself against Beca’s desk as she felt her knees wobble. She glanced across the room and at the top of the steps near the bull pen, she spotted Gail, Stacie and Aubrey, the blonde standing with one arm across her midsection, the other pressed against her chest.

A tear slipped down Chloe’s cheek as she pointed to the screen, eyes glaring back and forth between Aubrey and Gail.

“If anything has happened to her, I will never forgive you for this!” Chloe bellowed as she stormed out of the room.

Down in the bull pen, the rest of her team glanced around, not knowing what to do. Two of their team members were out in the field and there was no way of communicating with them. One was in complete and utter turmoil at the situation that was unfolding.

Unable to take the tension, Jesse stood up and bolted out of the office after Chloe. He felt like there was nothing he could do in there, but at the very least, he could be a friend to a friend in need. Running around the office, he eventually found the redhead, isolating alone in an otherwise unoccupied meeting room, sat on the floor, knees pulled tight to her chest and he slipped inside.

Walking over, he took a seat next to her and Chloe wiped at her falling tears.

“I can’t lose her Jesse, I can’t,” She cried as she gazed up at him and his heart broke for her as he wrapped a strong arm around her shoulders and pulled her in tight.

“You’re not gonna lose her. She’s too stubborn to go anywhere. She didn’t come all this way to find the love of her life to give up that easily,” he mumbled, his cheek resting against the top of her head, and Chloe snuggled in tight. Needing to feel the weight of arms around her to ground her.

 ****Behind Frenemy Lines****

“Somebody get a damn signal up on that screen now! I need a location Amy!”

Aubrey shouted out orders all around the office, her brain going into overdrive as the blonde hacker began tapping away at her laptop trying to figure out if she could pull up a signal. Aubrey needed to pinpoint where here agents were. They needed help and damn it if she lost her job doing it than so be it.

Just then, the crackling sound of a radio coming to life brought a silence over the room.

“Base, we’ve got a confirmed kill on the target. Mission complete,” came Chicago’s voice.

As if a black cloud had been lifted over Washington, news reports began to filter in that the insurrectionists had been put on the back-foot and were retreating. Cameras showed Military troops making arrests while out on the street other suspects lay dead.

A cheer erupted around the office at the news, agents high fiving and hugging, Aubrey emitting a sigh of relief, hands clasped over her mouth as she drew in a deep breath when the voice of the biggest pain in her ass came through the radio and she had never been more happy to hear it in her life.

“Bout damn time,” Beca said, though Aubrey could tell from her tone that she was in pain.

“I’ve got a location, I’m dropping a pin,” Amy said as she shot off the co-ordinates to her teams cellphones.

At that moment Aubrey glanced up to see Chloe and Jesse just at the edge of the office having overheard everything, and she watched as they high tailed it out of there, set on getting to Beca and Chicago.

 ****Behind Frenemy Lines****

 “Ughhhh,” Beca groaned as Chicago applied pressure to her lower abdomen, trying to stem the flow of blood pouring from Beca’s open wound, a lump of metal from an explosion having embedded its way past her vest with the sheer force and speed of the projectile. This was not how she foreshadowed her day going.

 “Dude I should’ve been at my desk eating taco’s,” Beca whimpered and Chicago cocked his head and looked at her.

 “Really? You’re literally bleeding from you gut and all you can think about is food?” he said, exasperated by Beca’s train of thought. And Beca looked at him through gritted teeth, nostrils flared as she tried breathing through her nose.

 “Hey! Tacos are life…. and I missed lunch,” she cried as another wave of pain shot through her.

 As if sensing her immediate distress, a team of military paramedics arrived on scene, instantly relieving Chicago of his duties. He watched as they assessed the situation, wrapping bandaging around the embedded metal rather than attempting to pull it out and dosing his colleague with pain relief as she was situated on a stretcher and carried out of the building.

Once outside, Chicago was handed Beca’s rifle and he instantly offloaded their equipment to his special task unit, making his way towards one of the waiting choppers. Taking one last look around the city limits he shook his head at the damage and then climbed inside, signalling for the pilot to take off and take him back to Quantico.

****Behind Frenemy Lines****

By the time Beca was seen to at the hospital, Chloe and Jesse had managed to navigate their way through the chaos in the city and speak with a doctor. Chloe was instantly overwhelmed with relief to find out her wife was, for the most part, okay.

“Luckily there was no internal bleeding, but she’s gonna be pretty sore for a while,” the doctor explained as he walked Chloe down to her wife’s room and gestured inside for her to go ahead once they arrived.

She immediately stepped into the room and burst into tears when she saw Beca sitting up propped up against the pillows, awake and alive, hand resting over her heavily bandaged abdomen where she had been wounded. The brunette grimaced as her eyes finally landed on Chloe’s presence.

“Please don’t be made at me. I was just doing my job,” Beca pleaded and Chloe shook her head as she took a seat on the edge of the bed and gripped Beca by the hand, shaking her head.

“I’m not mad. But….God you scared the hell out of me,” Chloe cried, wiping at the tears that were falling again as she looked at her bed ridden wife. Beca squeezed her hand and tried to sit up, but she was instantly reminded that moving wasn’t much fun at that moment.

 “Chlo, hey, I’m okay,” Beca whispered, reaching up her other hand to cup Chloe’s cheek, “besides I couldn’t leave without my ring, it cost me a fortune,” she stated eyes wide. Chloe scoffed.

 “You’re such an ass,” she laughed through her tears, but after the day they’d had, she would take Beca’s smart comments over nothing at all any day and Beca grinned at her.

 “I know, but I’m your ass remember? You put it in your vows,” Beca recalled fondly.

At this Chloe reached into her pocket and pulled out the ring Beca had left on her desk. Taking a hold of her wife’s hand she began sliding it back into its rightful place.

“For better or worse, in sickness and in health, all the days of my life,” Chloe whispered, pressing a kiss to it once it was back where it belonged. Beca squeezed her hand and smiled at her.

“I love you,” Beca said and Chloe leaned in and kissed her, nuzzling their noses together.

“I love you too.”

****Behind Frenemy Line****

Two days later, Chloe returned to the Bureau offices, the place void of the frantic energy that had consumed it the last time she had stepped foot in the place.

As she walked into the bull pen, she noticed a bouquet of flowers perched on Beca’s desk, a teddy bear that had been wrapped in bandages sitting next to them with an envelope containing Beca’s name scrawled across the front.

“Hey,” Theo called out a half grin on his face, gaining the attention of the others in the room, “how’s the patient?” He asked, as everyone downed tools to give her their full attention. Chloe smiled as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

“She’s good. Sore but, nothing permanent thank God. Thanks for all of this,” she said gesturing to the gifts on her wife’s desk, “she’ll love them.”

Before they could ask any further questions, Aubrey stepped out of her office and made her way towards the steps, stopping in her stride when she noticed the redhead.

“Chloe,” Aubrey said and a wave of silence fell over the room as Chloe gazed at her. The blonde gestured with her thumb back towards her office, “can we talk?” she asked, her tone hopeful.

Chloe simply nodded her head and began making the trek across the bull pen and up the steps, following Aubrey into her office.

Everyone watched as the two women disappeared behind the door, eyes darting all around the room as they all pondered the potential fallout of what was to come.

****Behind Frenemy Lines****

As Aubrey closed the door she stepped around Chloe and went to stand behind her desk. She gestured for Chloe to take a seat but the redhead simply shook her head, arms crossed over her chest.

But it wasn’t in a manner of defiance or authority, it was more done to create a barrier of protection and comfort. Aubrey could read that much and it saddened her to think Chloe felt she needed to do that around her. She cleared her throat to rid of the emotional wave that was lingering there and finally spoke.

“How’s Beca?” She asked, hands fidgeting with the edge of her desk, “I tried calling but you didn’t answer.” Chloe nodded her head and gazed down at her feet.

“She’s fine, for the most past. They’re gonna keep her in one more night. She’ll be released tomorrow but she’ll be out of action for a couple weeks till she heals.”

Chloe’s tone dared Aubrey to ask when she would be back at work but it was the furthest thing from the blondes mind. She was just so relieved that Beca was okay.

“Chlo I’m so sorry. I was given orders and I…” before she could finish Chloe jumped in.

“You know I’m not even mad about the orders, or the sense of duty or whatever you wanna call it,” she said shifting the weight of her stance from one hip to the other “it’s the fact that you stood in this office and admitted that you wouldn’t have followed orders if it was Stacie.”

Aubrey nodded at this and looked down at her desk, trying to hold back the tears that were building behind her eyes trying to force their way to the surface.

“That her life would be worth protecting but Beca? She was a means for you to complete your mission. Her and Chicago,” Chloe said.

“I don’t understand how you can lead a team knowing that when it comes down to it, there are certain people you will protect at all costs while others are merely a means to an end.”

Aubrey gazed up at Chloe, her eyes now red and swimming in tears.

“That’s not fair. You know I care about Beca, she’s my friend. You are my best friend,” Aubrey whimpered and Chloe shook her head gazing up at the ceiling to stem her own tears.

“And maybe that’s the problem. Maybe the personal relationships in this team are too close to be objective,” Chloe theorised and Aubrey’s brow furrowed at this.

“What are you saying?” Aubrey asked and Chloe bit down on her bottom lip as she thought about her words before speaking.

“I can’t be your best friend and Beca’s wife and a member of this team. I can’t force myself to switch my feelings on and off like you can.”

Looking down, Chloe swallowed thickly before unclipping her agency badge from her belt and her gun from her hip.

“Consider this my notice. Effective immediately. I’m stepping down from the team,” Chloe said as she stepped forward, placing her credentials and her weapon on Aubrey’s desk. The blonde shaking her head.

“Chloe no, you love this job,” Aubrey said gazing into her friends eyes, pleading with her to change her mind. Chloe just nodded.

“I do, I do love it, but I love Beca more and after everything that’s happened I realised that I can’t just switch that off for a job. I can’t pretend not to care or push my emotions down out of a sense of duty when her life’s in danger. I can’t do it.”

Chloe wiped away a tear that had slipped down her cheek.

“It’s not fair to Beca and it’s not fair to the team. It was easier to compartmentalise before because I didn’t have anything I cared about that much to interfere with my work but now….” Chloe trailed off searching for the words.

“If the choice is between Beca and my job? Then to me there is no choice cause she’s my life. I could lose everything, but I can’t lose her.”

Aubrey tipped her head at this, though she couldn’t help feeling like her friendship has being sidelined. Was she part of the everything Chloe could bear losing? But she knew now wasn’t the time to ask such questions.

“What are you gonna do?” Aubrey asked, her own arms now crossing over her chest trying to self comfort. Chloe continued wiping at the tears under her eyes.

“I talked to Gail. I’m not quitting the Bureau completely. She’s lined up a job for me training new agents in behavioural analysis with an emphasis on recruiting for the department. But, my time as a field agent is done.”

With that Chloe turned and made her way to the door, opening it and taking a step outside.

“Chlo,” Aubrey called out, stopping her in her tracks, “I really am sorry.”

Chloe nodded, gazing back over her shoulder.

“I know.”

With that, she exited the office, closing the door behind her. Aubrey collapsed into her chair, Chloe’s gun and badge staring up at her from the desk and Aubrey dropped her head into her hands. Realising it was the closing of a chapter Aubrey wasn’t ready to close.

Down in the bull pen, Chloe walked over to Beca’s desk and collected the items that had been left there for her, gathering them up in her arms.

“Thanks guys, I’ll see you later,” Chloe said, her voice wavering as she spoke and she waved before making her way out of the bull pen.

Her colleagues bid her goodbye but the vibe around the office changed. There was something in the air. Something that told them there was more to Chloe’s goodbye than simply ‘see ye later.’

It felt very much like the end of an era, and they didn’t realise how close to the truth that really was.

****The End****

[beauty-and-passion]

A (not so) brief post about my favourite Sanders Sides ships

It all started with this ask:

I just wanted to write a short answer, I swear. Just a short answer with a tiny little explanation about why I like these ships in particular.

But then I got a bit carried away, my explanations became longer and so here I am, writing a full post.

One small clarification before starting: ships don’t have a place in my analyses. If I talk about connections between Sides, these connections are always in terms of friendships, cooperation or familial relationships. The romantic aspect is something different and I may joke about it sometimes, but it’s just a joke.

There is a time and space for romantic relationships - and it looks like that time has come. 

______________________________

Janus and Patton

I've always liked the canonical ship, in (almost) every fandom. So of course I like the canonical ship of this fandom as well :P

Jokes aside, this ship is incredibly mature, very interesting and terribly hard to talk about. The nature of these two characters, their roles and the episodes that had them involved proved how these two speak the same language, work in the same field and, ultimately, need each other.

* More similar that we think

If we look at them on a superficial level, Janus and Patton are completely opposites: one is cynical and cold, the other is a ball of sunshine. One is dark and suave, the other is goofy and bright. Janus' moral is "step on others and only care about yourself", Patton's moral is "help others because they are more important than you".

These differences became clearer over time, the more we learned about Janus and compared him with Patton. However, along these differences, some similarities started to emerge. Some qualities.

Janus and Patton want what's good for Thomas. They are humble enough to recognize their mistakes (the latest example was POF). They have a strong empathy. They’re kind. They’re mature adults (even if Patton doesn’t show it too often). And they both love and use puns.

But that’s not all. Along with these qualities, we found out that these two have similar flaws: they are both liars. They are incredibly persuasive to the point of manipulation. They have a huge influence over the mind (and the other Sides). They both deal with denial.

And this isn't just important, but it's a fundamental point for their character growth. Why? Because if they have similar flaws, if they are both liars and manipulators, then they cannot deceive each other.

And this is HUGE, especially for Patton! By his own admission, Patton lied multiple times, especially about his feelings (the Nostalgia episodes) and his thoughts (the most recent wedding/callback saga).

He always got away with it, because he was lying to other Sides and Thomas. But what would the point be, to lie to the literal embodiment of lies? Janus already knows what of his words are lies and what not, so it would be absolutely useless to do it.

Therefore, if Patton cannot lie to Janus, he cannot pretend everything is alright when it's not or hide his thoughts on a certain topic. He cannot shift the attention somewhere else or let a conversation drop. That means Patton cannot avoid confrontation about his thoughts/feelings and oh boy if he really needs to talk about them - especially with someone mature like Janus.

And yes, having someone who is able to see past your lies means being a lot vulnerable... but also a lot freerer. With Janus, Patton won’t have to pretend to be the strongest one: he can allow himself to be weak and confused, because if he doesn’t have an answer or if the weight of decisions is too much to carry, he has Janus with whom he can share it.

* A foundation of mutual respect

This point has never been fully addressed, but it was very well implied by their words/behaviours since Janus’ first appearance.

The first proof we have is CLBG: after Deceit revealed himself and disappeared, all the Sides and Thomas went through various degrees of shock, frustration and anger. Patton, on the other hand, was the only one who showed a pretty calm demeanor.

He should've been the angriest, considering that Janus took HIS place and pretended to be HIM the whole time. And yet, not only Patton didn't show any resentment, but he didn't talk bad about Janus (even if he had all the reasons to) and he even justified the other Side’s actions to Thomas:

[Patton]: Kiddo, simply put, Deceit is an inner coach that acts with the one intention of self-preservation.

Patton could’ve said anything, to make Janus appear as the worst. And his words could've had a lot of influence on Thomas, considering they were coming from his heart.

However, Patton didn't say anything too bad about Janus - not even in the following episodes.

Then we reach POF: Patton's monologue about his morals went so dramatically bad, he turned into a giant frog with abs and Janus had to sweep in to save Thomas.

In that moment, he could've said ANYTHING to make Patton appear as the worst Side ever. He had his chance on a silver plate: Patton was wrong, he had been wrong the whole time, he was literally ready to fight Thomas.

And yet, Janus took Patton's defense:

[Deceit]: He didn't mislead you on purpose, Thomas. I don't think the little guy... or... the big frog is capable of that sort of thing.

In addition to that, let’s consider Janus' whole attitude towards Patton in SvS: he basically spent an entire episode trying to make Patton understand his point.

[Deceit]: You can defend him all you like... But you can't change the facts. Is Thomas an innocent little lamb? Let's let them be the judge of that.

Why did he insist so much on this? Why not tricking Patton like he did with Roman or ignoring him like he did with Logan?

Because Janus knows how important Patton's role is and his whole behaviour shows respect towards the other Side. Unlike the others, who tend to diminish/forget Patton’s importance, Janus never did and always tried to reach him in the most honest, difficult way: through dialogue and confrontation.

And when he failed, instead of disregarding Patton’s importance, he just kept trying again, until his message finally reached the other Side.

* The perfect working partner

POF proved Patton can't bear the weight of the decision-making process all by himself. He needs another Side who can help him and Janus perfectly fills this role.

But why Janus? Why not Logan? Logan is a very mature Side, he can deal with a lot of stress, he's extremely organized and knows a lot. Surely he can help Patton with the decision-making process, right?

Not exactly. For his own admission, morals and ethics are not Logan's area of expertise (as it should be: logic can’t be influenced by what’s considered “good” or “bad”: logic is neutral). Secondly, Logic isn't an emotional-driven Side: logic is way less affected by emotions than other Sides - especially compared to Patton, who is the embodiment of emotions.

What Patton needs is a mature Side with a grey mentality, humble enough to respect him/not diminish his role, from his same area of expertise and enough emotional-driven to connect with him on an emotional/empathetic level.

And Janus is the only one who fills all those points. Even the latter, as we saw in the last part of POF:

[Patton]: Janus... Do you think there's a limit... on how many times someone can say sorry... before you have to admit... that they're just bad for you? [Janus]: Oh, definitely not. I'd love for someone to ruin Thomas' entire life one apology at a time. [Patton]: Okay. [Janus]: (After seeing Patton's reaction)The reality is that... it depends.

Janus' answer changed, the moment he realized Patton didn't get his sarcasm, by switching from ironic to honest. This is the kind of emotional connection Patton needs, something that doesn’t require words, but a small gesture that says more than a thousand words (yes, I’m also talking about that gaze and the small nod in the end card).

If we add to all of that the detail that Janus can nullify Patton's excuses and see past his lies, we have the perfect partner to help him grow up.

But this cooperation isn’t just one-sided: Janus needs Patton just as much as Patton needs him.

Why? First of all, to have a seat at the table. After years hiding, Janus can finally talk to Thomas, introduce his cynical mentality, make Thomas a little more selfish and help him grow up.

Secondly, by cooperating with Patton, Janus will become a better Side: he will learn to compromise, to work together and, most importantly, to trust Patton. And this is a particularly important point because, as I said in my analysis of POF, Janus isn’t used to trust others and he doesn’t want them to see past his barriers. Working with Patton might be exactly what he needs to trust the other Sides and lower these barriers, even a tiny bit.

* The romantic possibility

Considering all of the above points, the idea that their cooperation could evolve into something romantic-driven isn't so strange. The elements are all here, there's nothing weird to add nor need to bend canon, in order to make the ship happen. Their mutual acceptance can easily become need, learning more about each other can easily evolve into desiring each other and friendship could grow into passion.

And, of course, let's not forget marriage. These two can only end up in marriage. I mean, one is a dad, the other is a mom witch, so they are a perfect match XD

My point is: this ship isn't just a “cute couple being cute”. It's about dialogues. Conversations about themselves, their different points of view, their morals, their cooperation, how to help Thomas and the other Sides. It's based on listening to each other, on knowing each other a little more every day. On being silly together, working and failing together, going down and getting up, because there is someone by your side to lend a helping hand.

This is what makes Janus and Patton the most realistic, mature couple. And that's probably why it's so hard to perfectly nail it.

______________________________

Logan and Remus

Here it is, the couple that blew up after one episode and was confirmed in the most recent Aside.

But seriously, these two have a huge potential - first as friends/working partners, then as romantic partners. Logan and Remus need each other and the reasons are pretty clear:

- Having an interlocutor

Remus is Unleashed Creativity, a volcano of ideas in constant need of new stimuli, no matter if they are considered good or bad. After all "good and bad are all made up nonsense", as he said.

Logan is a walking encyclopedia in search of someone who wants to listen to him. He's pure, undiluted knowledge because that's what logic should be. No morals about what's good and what's bad, no emotions, nothing but neutral knowledge.

Considering that, it’s pretty clear these two have to come into contact. But what would they gain?

Well, Remus would have the stimuli he desperately craves. And Logan?

Logan would gain an incredibly smart interlocutor. And I’m not saying it because I am biased towards Remus, but because the canonical episodes showed us how smart he is. In both DWIT and WTIT Remus proved to be a quick thinker, with a sharp intellect and an even sharper eye. He's silly and over the top, but he's not an idiot and he uses everything he has for his own creative needs, no matter how small it is.

Just imagine this cleverness applied to everything Logan might say to him. Remus wouldn’t be the only one to benefit from it, but the whole creative process and, ultimately, Thomas himself, who will have better, richer ideas.

- Gaining a place

At this moment in time (just after WTIT) Remus has not been fully accepted yet. He is tolerated and his presence is a nuisance, but he’s neither wanted, nor banished. He’s just here and he has no voice on any matter.

Also because no one wants to give him a chance to prove how useful and worthy he can be. Thomas barely tolerates him, Patton does his best to ignore him, Roman doesn’t even want to see him and Virgil would rather not have any of the Others present.

The only Core Side who accepts Remus’ presence and is willing to give him a chance is Logan. He spent the entire DWIT to explain why Remus is useful for Thomas and shouldn’t be ignored, while in WTIT, he said: "There will be a time and place for you" - thus implying that, one day, Remus will finally be able to show how worthy he can be.

This is exactly what Remus needs: a Core Side who doesn’t see him as a nuisance or a villain, but as a fundamental part of Thomas that can be helpful, in his own way. Someone willing to give him a seat at the table (at least in the future). And, most importantly, someone who is powerful enough to control him.

Remus is and will always be a force of nature. He will never rest or stop being chaotic. This is why he needs someone strong by his side, someone who can’t be overcomed by his dark thoughts and that can put him back on track if necessary. And Logan proved to be perfect for this role not once, but twice.

- Understanding on a deeper level

However this cooperation won’t be beneficial just for Remus. As I said before, Remus could be a clever interlocutor for Logan. And this cleverness isn’t just related to creativity, but also to emotional understanding.

The Core Sides have known Logan for almost thirty years and yet, they have no idea of the inner turmoil raging inside him. They keep ignoring and dismissing him, clearly thinking everything is fine.

It took Remus one single day to realize what Logan’s problem is, how deeply frustrated he is and how much he’s actually angry at Thomas. Less than 24 hours and Remus knows Logan better than his long time friends.

That’s exactly what Logan needs. Someone sharp enough to notice his behaviour, find out the root of the problem and make Logan face it, instead of dismissing it because who cares (yes, Roman, I am talking about you and your “You'll be fine, Rome didn't fall in a day.”)

- The romantic possibility

I think almost all the fandom agrees that these two would have a great sex life. After all, Remus is the embodiment of Thomas' sexual urges, so he would definitely go for a very physical relationship.

But having a good sex life implies a lot of other great things: good chemistry, no comunication issues, great stability and greater trust. And, even more important, the desire to try new things together. Logan and Remus are both very curious Sides, they both want to know new things and experience them: so their relationship would probably be based on discussing new ideas, testing them and finding out together if they are good or not.

And this doesn't apply to just the sexual aspect: even just the romantic aspect or the working aspect of their relationship could have these characteristics. Logan and Remus can motivate each other, learn from one another and find new things together. They are clever enough to stimulate each other's mind, curious enough to do stuff together to learn something new and honest enough to not withdraw their opinions on any matter.

______________________________

Roman and Virgil

I am just recently starting to warm up to this couple, so I will keep this part short.

Just as it was for the previous two couples, these two can work together because canon made them work. The first part of their whole relationship is already all canonically established: at first Roman saw Virgil as a villain, then he slowly realized he could be a friend. Now moving from friends to lovers isn’t so difficult.

^ No need to demonstrate

Roman needs someone like Virgil, because Virgil is on his same level. Sure, Virgil’s mentality is way more gray-ish, but he still has a lot to learn, just like Roman.

Having someone on his side, who is on his same level is a huge relief: with Virgil, Roman doesn't have to pretend, nor to show off, nor to be dashing and perfect all the time. He knows Virgil won't care less, so he can relax. And for someone who is used to working all the time, having a moment of quiet with someone who has zero espectations is exactly what Roman needs.

Same goes for Virgil: he knows Roman won't care if he's gloomy and dark, because Roman already saw that side of him and appreciates him anyway. So no need to pretend to be different. He can relax too. And, because of his anxious nature, relaxing is exactly what he also needs.

So if they both need to relax, that implies they also need time to do it. And without expectations, without feeling like the other “is better than me and I’m slowing him down”, they can really take all the time they need, to grow at their own pace.

^ Growing together

Virgil and Roman’s is not a one-sided relationship, in which one knows more than the other and helps the other reach his level: since they are on the same level, if one of them learns something new, then it’s a victory for them both, because the other will be motivated to do more/learn more as well.

This isn’t just something I think, but something we saw in canon. During AA-part 2, Roman clearly stated that Virgil “make us... better”, thus implying that Virgil acted as a motivator for him.

Then we had FWSA and here we saw this sentence applied the other way around: Roman was the motivator and, thanks to him, Virgil overcame his own anxiety to push Thomas towards Nico. The final result was a victory for them both: Roman got the romance he’s desperately craving, Virgil found out a new aspect of himself: his bravery.

^ The romantic possibility

These two are a walking “enemies to friends to lovers” trope, so I don’t think there’s anything else to add XD

Only that they would both be quite passionate. One is Thomas’ romantic side, the other is heavily influenced by emotions: if the good one takes Virgil, he would probably be a very passionate partner.

______________________________

Two couples I understand

Janus and Remus -> I understand the appeal of this one and it would kinda make sense, especially from Remus’ point of view. Remus has (probably) sexual fantasies about anything, so I wouldn't be too surprised if he has a whole collection of sexual fantasies about the Side who is closest to him.

But also, I see them too much like father and son/bestest friends to imagine them having a romantic relationship.

So my take is more like that: Remus has sexual fantasies about Janus, just like he has sexual fantasies about anyone. They are his way to show his affection, how much he cares about Janus and wants to protect him.

But Remus is Remus and he's prone to lose control. That's why, since he reached adolescence and started to develop the sexual aspect, Janus put clear limits that give Remus enough space to express his fantasies, but never past a certain point.

So Remus can be very touchy (because, well, he's Remus) and extremely physical in showing his affections, but never go below a certain point. He can talk in full details about all his sexual fantasies to Janus, but never try to sexually force him. He can try to seduce him or propose sexual things, but never pretend he will accept.

And so, over time, it became a sort of internal joke between them: Remus tells his fantasies at the breakfast table, while Janus rolls his eyes with a "very interesting", they have a laugh, they keep going with their day. Remus wants to cuddle, Janus will cuddle. Remus proposes sex, Janus will just laugh and give him a forehead kiss.

In other words, they are the kind of friends who you can find sprawled on a couch, one on top of the other and imagine they're a couple, while that's just how they read a book together.

Logan and Roman -> This couple isn’t bad at all and I really like the idea of these two having a sorta-romantic crush on each other. It can lead to a lot of poetic/romantic possibilities.

The only problem is: Logan is logic, therefore he would destroy all the romance with one sentence XD and the romantic, poetic scene evoked would turn into these two arguing like madmen.

So, well, maybe the hate-sex would be great, but they would definitely spend too much time arguing. Still, I am very curious about it, so I will keep searching for stuff about them.

[spacedikut]

starstruck ; spencer reid

pairing: spencer reid (criminal minds) x f!reader

summary:  “Can I request some age gap Spencer x reader. Maybe he’s nervous about approaching her for a relationship bc she’s younger, but he’s so goofy for her it’s he’s in love obvious. Pretty pls 🥺💕” 5222 words

a/n: i didn’t specify ages cause i wasn’t sure what people would be comfortable with so i just mentioned an age gap and leave the rest up to you!! i would happily date someone twice my age but i also have daddy issues so :)

masterlist

The day has finally arrived.

Mollie can call you a nerd all she wants, but you know the second she lays eyes on Derek Morgan or Emily Prentiss she’ll change her tune.

This event has been in the university’s calendar since the beginning of the semester. At least two members of the FBI Behavioural Analysis Unit were promised to give a talk about their department, even taking you through a solved case like an interactive documentary, to encourage students to consider joining the academy post-graduation. There was whispers they’d even stick around after to answer some questions.

Your other friend, Jen, the one that understands your excitement, wrote your names down for tickets immediately. You’ve had a countdown on your phone ever since.

“They’ve announced a last-minute guest,” She beams, just as giddy as you. You’re wasting time at the coffee house near the auditorium, waiting for Mollie to arrive.

“Oh, really? Who?”

“Doctor Spencer Reid.”

You almost drop your cookie in shock and stare at her, pupils blown.

“You’re a big fan?” She smirks.

As nonchalantly as you can, you lean back in your chair, “I’m a fan of his work, yes.”

“Oh, his work?”

“Don’t start.”

“I bet you love his work.”

“He’s well-versed and his papers are super interesting-“

“His papers are super interesting-“

“You are a child.”

Just then, Mollie appears, checking her watch. You wish you could kiss her in thanks for saving you from the teasing that would likely never end. “We’re gonna be late for your morbid seminar if you two don’t stop bickering.”

Jen downs the rest of her drink, you shove the last of the cookie in your mouth. Mollie watches your excitement in amusement – your heart starts pumping, whole body buzzing, the same nervousness you felt when you were a preteen right before your first ever One Direction concert. It’s the kind of nervousness that makes your palms sweaty.

Is it evolution or devolution to go from sweating over One Direction to sweating over FBI profilers?

+++

The seminar goes on for an hour, including the questions people ask throughout. It’s everything you could’ve asked for, entertaining and so, so informative and although you weren’t considering joining the FBI before, suddenly it’s all you can think about. Guest speakers have that affect, don’t they? They make you wonder if you should drastically change everything you’ve been planning.

Even Mollie, who you had to threaten to tag along, ended up enjoying herself. “Maybe I learnt a thing or two,” She’d said, rolling her eyes playfully.

You and your friends are some of the last to leave. There’s quite the bustling outside, which you assume is just post-seminar chatter, but you and Jen falter in your steps when you see the exact profilers that had been onstage several minutes ago in front of you, happily interacting and talking to fellow students.

“Oh, man,” Jen whispers, her and Mollie making eye contact across you. “I have to see if I can talk to Emily.”

Mollie encourages her with a frantic, “Go! Go!” while you’re rooted in place. Mollie jabs you with a pointed nail, “You in there, Y/N? I’m sure you have loads of questions for them-“

You stutter and shake your head, “N-no. I’m good. You can try and hit on Derek, if you want.”

You give a half-attempt at a smile, barely lifting the corners of your lips. Mollie recognises that look. She wants to stay with you, check you’re not too overwhelmed, but you shoo her away and send her towards Derek. You breathe a sigh of relief – you’ve been friends with her long enough that she knows when you need space.

There’s something about seeing people you admire so abruptly that totally throws you for a loop. All you had prepared for was seeing them from afar and subsequently talking about it forever, but nothing beyond that. In some circumstances, it’d be a pleasant surprise, but for someone that struggles around strangers and especially around people as admirable as profilers, you are not mentally prepared for this and have therefore shut down.

But then you see him.

He’s shuffling in place in the corner of the room, close to a large potted plant like it’s his only friend. He’s nibbling his lip as his eyes flutter around, never staying somewhere for longer than a second, looking increasingly uncomfortable.

Why is no one talking to him? He’s Spencer Reid.

There’s a couple of people surrounding Emily, fully entranced by whatever story she’s relaying, another few people around Derek, chortling at a joke he just made. Spencer glances between them and their audiences, and you can’t help but wonder why he isn’t right next to them, chatting away, too.

Does he not want to talk to anyone?

You should talk to him.

No. He probably wants to be alone.

Or what if he doesn’t and no one else is talking to him which means you can have a one-on-one conversation? What about that?

Are you insane?

…

You have to talk to him.

Before you can change your mind, you’re approaching him with a tight grip on the handle of your bag, pushing it higher up your shoulder. He spots you and makes eye contact just as you stop in front of him, and you notice he momentarily tightens his grip on his satchel.

Was this a bad idea?

“Hi,” You breathe, “I’m Y/N. A big fan.”

His eyes widen a fraction, which you don’t understand because why else would you be here, but he smiles nonetheless, “Hi, I’m, uh, Spencer Reid.”

“I know.”

“Yes, you know. That makes sense, because you were in the seminar. I saw you.”

Now you’re shocked. For as long as you can remember you never sit in the centre of a room, where most attention seems to go, so how did he-

“I-I always scan the room I’m in its.. it’s not a creepy thing, I swear. I’m not creepy.”

A laugh escapes you at that, making him visibly relax. “I don’t think you’re creepy. There was just.. a lot of people in there, so I’m surprised you remember my face.” You shrug.

I couldn’t forget such a beautiful face.

You don’t know what happens, but Spencer suddenly tenses up. His back straightens and he looks alarm, stiff.

Did he just think that? What.. why did he think that?

You wonder if you’ve said something wrong, so you try to change the topic.

“I-I have a question, if you don’t mind answering.”

Spencer nods with an of course, and when the question rolls off your tongue, his mind is still reeling from subconsciously calling you beautiful in his head. It’s not untrue, but it feels.. inappropriate. He doesn’t know why. But you are beautiful.

As he scans your face, now much closer than in the auditorium, he realises yeah, you are incredibly beautiful.

You wave a hand in front of his face, “Doctor Reid?”

“Sorry, yes, sorry. What are you studying?”

There’s a light in your eyes that Spencer recognises when you say, “Psychology.”

“Thought so.”

“You probably talk to a lot of psychology students. I-um. I almost went to Caltech,” Spencer raises an eyebrow, "After I read your dissertation, it really inspired me to look into it – your dissertation is incredible, by the way.”

Spencer smiles bashfully, a futile attempt to not allow the grin to overtake his face, and thanks you, “I appreciate it. Actually, I was sixteen when I wrote it.”

“Are you kidding me?!” Your eyes widen, “You’re insane! You’re amazing!”

The praise bursts from you, and his blushing face makes you oddly proud. On the other hand, Spencer feels like you’ve set him alight, his blood pumping loudly in his ears, as he’s unable to tear his eyes away from your smile.

He desperately needs to change the topic.

“To answer your question…”

Derek notices you two interacting across the room. Mollie sees him looking and hums, “Oh, that’s Y/N, my best friend. She really likes Spencer.”

Derek raises an eyebrow, “Looks like he really likes her.”

“Don’t tell her that. She’ll collapse.”

They both watch you for a second, Spencer flailing his arms as he explains, you eagerly adding to his rambling, asking a question here and exclaiming some kind of encouragement there. It’s sweet, Derek thinks.

“Hey..” Mollie begins, a scheming look in her eye, “We’re planning to hang out in the campus bar later. It’s open to all and the drinks are cheap. If you and Emily happen to find yourselves looking for something to do and you drag Spencer along.. I’m sure Y/N would like it.”

“I like the way you think,” Derek says, “I’ll see what I can do.”

+++

“She’s getting hit on. Again.” You giggle, gesturing for Jen to turn around and witness Mollie get your drinks paid for by a random guy.

She’s always been a people person – it’s saved you hundreds on nights out.

All Jen does is glance over her shoulder, scoff, then turn her sceptical eyes to you.

“I saw you and Spencer Reid.” She says, twinkling eyes. She’s trying not to look smug.

“I almost proposed to him.” You joke, taking your drink from Mollie with a mumbled thanks.

“Oh, I bet you did,” She laughs, “You two looked sooo good together.”

“Alright,” You slide a shot to each girl, “I know you’re making fun of me, but I’m taking that compliment and cherishing it. Spencer Reid is cute, what of it?!”

You clink the shot glasses with your friends and down them, all wincing at the taste and giggling at Jen when she takes a gulp of her cocktail to wash away the taste of straight vodka.

“How did talking to Derek and Emily go?”

And then Jen starts chattering away.

You miss the bar door opening behind you, But Mollie notices. She’s been watching the door since they got here, conveniently choosing the table with the best view, just in case some profilers decided to stop by.

Derek catches Mollie’s eye and winks.

“Well I never,” Mollie fakes shock, “Look who just walked through the doors.”

You turn and choke on your drink. Emily and Derek look relax, like they’re home, but Spencer?

He looks just like he did earlier: like there’s a million places he’d rather be.

He’s lost the blazer he was wearing earlier, leaving him in a fitted purple shirt with a matching tie. With the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, you can see his firm hands and the silver watch that rests on his wrist – is it possible for a watch to be sexy? Or maybe it’s just cause he’s sexy?

That shot must be getting to you.

“What the hell are they doing here?” You hiss, a sharp whisper piercing the air as you turn and (terribly) try to hide your face.

But Spencer’s seen you. He spotted you the moment they came in – he recognised your clothes and your hair – and the second he did he turned right back around to exit the bar. Derek’s arm stopped him at his chest, like he does to unsubs, forcefully turning him around and laughing when Spencer tensed up.

“What, Reid? Scared of a pretty girl?” Derek teases, much like he’d been doing since he spoke to you earlier.

“I am scared of college girls, yes. Last time I was in a college bar I was twelve and downed shots of apple juice.”

“What?!” Both Emily and Derek stop short, looks of disbelief at the revelation. “You’ve never mentioned that.”

“It’s embarrassing.”

“We,” Derek places his hands on Spencer’s shoulders, directing him to your table, “Are just gonna have a few drinks and talk to a few people, and then you’re gonna explain that apple juice story in explicit detail- hey ladies!”

Jen and Mollie look overjoyed at the new company, while you stare rigidly with distinctive what the fuck eyes.

“Would you mind if we joined you?” Emily asks, with a sparkling grin that no one could say no to.

“Of course not,” Jen grins, like it’s the most obvious answer.

The empty seat next to you is taken by Spencer (Derek discreetly shoves him) but right before he’s firmly placed on the stool, Emily calls out, “Spence, why don’t you get us some drinks? You still owe us after you lost that game of gin..”

“I didn’t lose.” Spencer huffs indignantly, “You cheated.”

Despite his grunts, he stands to make his way to the bar, but not before-

“Y/N!” Mollie beams, “It’s your turn to get the round, if you’d be so kind.”

You know that look on her face. You hate her, you realise, but you also love her because being alone with Spencer sends a thrill through you.

Alone with Spencer. What the hell are you supposed to say to him?

You follow him to the bar. He leans against it with an awkward smile.

“Hey, Y/N.”

“Hey.”

“It’s uh.. it’s been a long time since we’ve seen eachother.” It’s a half attempt at a joke, followed by instant regret. But then you giggle and everything feels right in the world, even Spencer’s sucky joke.

“It has been a while, Doctor Reid.” You say. The bartender approaches, takes your orders, then you turn to Spencer, “What brings you to a college bar, of all places?”

“Well,” Spencer glances over your shoulder to your table. He makes eye contact with every single person there, all watching you two interact, and they all sharply turn and try to play it off like they’ve been talking casually. Spencer’s brows furrow a little. “Derek said the drinks are cheap and our hotel is only a couple blocks away. I don’t know, maybe Derek likes college girls.”

You laugh again, and Spencer has to take a second to realise you’re not laughing at him but at what he said about Derek. “Yeah, Derek seems like a real ladies man.”

“Oh, you don’t know the half of it.” Spencer grins, “We once timed him to see how long it would take to get a girls number and he did it in five minutes. And he said he was having a bad day.”

The drinks are placed in front of you. Neither of you notice.

You unconsciously lean closer, saying, “Have you timed it to see how long it takes for a girl to approach him? That’s gotta be, like, maybe ten minutes?”

“Eight minutes and twenty-three seconds.”

“Well damn. Has he always been so…” A hand gestures in the air, looking for the word.

“Promiscuous?”

“I was gonna say free.”

“Free?” Spencer giggles, “That’s very nice of you.”

You shrug, “I don’t judge.” Spencer agrees, and it slips out, “What about you?”

You wish you could shove the words back in your mouth. Even more so when his expression changes. You can’t entirely make out what it is, but even in the dimly lit bar you can see the flush of heat that spreads through his cheeks to his ears.

“Are you asking me if I’m free with the ladies?” He murmurs, suppressing a grin.

You give an awkward laugh, wondering if you’ve overstepped a boundary, “Yeah. But that’s kinda weird to ask, so-“

“I’m so popular with the ladies it puts Derek to shame.”

You can’t hide your surprise. “What? Really?”

Spencer caves. “No. Is it that hard to believe I’m a ladies man?”

“Compared to Derek? Yes.”

Spencer scoffs.

+++

“As adorable as they are, it’s been thirty minutes.” Emily sighs. “I want my drink.”

“They’re bonding,” Jen sends a wistful look, “I’m so proud.”

“I’m guessing Y/N isn’t the most social either?” Derek asks, proudly watching you interact.

“She’s the best, just a little shy sometimes.” She smiles at you, even though you can’t see, “She’s an idiot, but our idiot, you know?”

Both Emily and Derek laugh airily, nodding with a, “Yeah, we know.”

At once, three phones vibrate throughout the bar – Emily, Derek and Spencer. They’re instantly filled with disappointment; Derek can’t watch Spencer attempt to flirt with a girl he’s obviously interested in, Emily still hasn’t got a drink, and Spencer has to leave you and he can’t think of anything worse.

He’s clearly hesitant when he looks at his phone. How does he say goodbye? Does he ask for your number? Would that be weird? That would be weird.

“Uhh…”

You channel every ounce of liquid courage you have in your body and offer, “Would it be weird if I gave you my number? Just.. for anything. Anything at all.”

Spencer nods, a gentle look in his eyes and a smile on his face, “Yeah, I’d like that.”

You mumble an alright, accepting Spencer’s phone and creating a new contact for yourself.

Please text me. You think. Please text me.

+++

He doesn’t text.

It’s been a week. A week. You know how cases are, some take longer than others and some are solved in literal hours, but it’s been a week, Spencer goddamn Reid, so why haven’t you texted me.

That’s when the doubt creeps in. Your friends keep telling you he’ll text, that he’s just busy (“He’s an FBI agent, Y/N. If you start dating you’re gonna have to get used to lapses in contact.” To which you’re too distracted choking at the mention of you two dating), but you can’t help but wonder if he took your number simply so he could leave quicker. He had a case to get to, after all. He had people to save.

Now you feel guilty. You forced your number on him, didn’t you? Oh God, he hates you. He hates you and you forced your number on him and he hasn’t texted you because he’s filing a restraining order against you because he hates you.

Mollie tells you you need a nap.

+++

Spencer spends the time on the jet back from the case staring at your number. He has it memorised, of course, and has had it memorised from the first time he read it, of course, but he can’t bring himself to do anything with it.

All he’s done is change your contact picture from the standard first letter of your name to a cute picture of a frog Garcia sent him. It reminds him of you.

Derek lowers his headphones, “You texted her yet, Pretty Boy?”

“Huh? Uh, no. I don’t think I will.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know,” Spencer shrugs, locking his phone and placing it face down. “I don’t think anything would come from it.”

“Kid,” Derek leans forward, eyebrows furrowed, “You two talked for well over thirty minutes in the middle of a college bar about God knows what. Maybe I’m easy to impress, but that seemed pretty special to me.”

“How is talking in a college bar worth anything?”

“Because you’re Reid, who, most of the time, has to be physically dragged into a bar. You hate talking to strangers about anything other than work. Y/N? A stranger. What did you two talk about?”

“We talked about you a little.”

“Uhuh. About how good I am at my job?”

“God, no,” Spencer scrunches his nose, “We talked about your charm with the ladies.”

Derek falls back in his chair and scoffs, “I’m flattered, but that doesn’t sound like work-talk to me. So you’re comfortable with her. I saw you laughing, so she makes you laugh, too. Sounds pretty great to me.”

Spencer stares. Derek’s right, but..

“So what is it, Reid?”

Spencer licks his lips. “Do you think she’s too young for me?”

Derek rarely looks taken aback, but he does now, “Too young?”

“She’s in college. I’m-I’m-“

“A legal adult. As is she.”

Spencer slumps. “A 2014 Current Population Survey found the average difference for a heterosexual couple is two-point-three years, with the man older than the woman. Even if you double that, that’s still less than me and Y/N-“

“Four years isn’t a lot, Spence,”

“You just.. you don’t think it’s weird?”

“No. Do you?”

“No. Yes. I don’t know.”

Derek’s conviction gives Spencer some reassurance, but he can’t help himself when he thinks that.. maybe.. you’ll find him boring. Most people seem to, with all his statistics and figures and facts, but with the added element of you living it up at college.. how could he compete?

“I think you’re worrying over nothing, Reid. You haven’t even texted her, and you’re already worrying about stuff like age gaps?” Derek crosses his hands and looks at Spencer with determination, “She gave you her number. She initiated it. She knows who you are, so she knows how old you are and it doesn’t seem to make her uncomfortable. So, why should it make you?”

Spencer just grunts.

“Are you worried people will say things?”

“I guess.”

“People always say things. You know that better than anyone. So screw ‘em.”

Spencer feels a smile creep onto his face.

And Derek relaxes. He’s planted the seeds, that Spencer is fretting over nothing, now all he’s got to do is wait for Spencer to let it sink in and allow the flowers to bloom and, next thing you know, Spencer’s gonna have himself the perfect girlfriend.

And Derek will take too much credit for it.

+++

“Heeeeeeeeey my precious Doctor…”

Garcia looks like her hand was caught in the cookie jar.

Spencer’s back straightens. “What did you do?”

She looks embarrassed, fiddling with the fluffy pen in her hand. She smiles awkwardly. “Derek may have told me about a pretty little college student that captured your heart, and then he told me you also haven’t texted her yet, so I did a little digging and…”

“You cyber-stalked Y/N?” Emily asks, casually. JJ seems unphased at the discussion. Does everyone in the office know about you?

“I did. I’m guilty. I’m sorry. I couldn’t resist.” She’s speaking a mile a minute.

Emily spares Spencer a glance, “Did you find anything?”

“Well…”

Concern fills Spencer. “Did something happen?”

“I just found some stuff she’d probably only tell a close friend and I feel really bad about it.” Her shoulders are by her ears as she tries to fold in on herself out of guilt, “But other than that she’s a genuinely sweet girl who volunteers at pet shelters and the college library in her free time and we have really similar music tastes so I think we’d make great friends.”

They all look to Spencer, waiting for his reaction. What? Is he supposed to be surprised that you’re the epitome of perfect? He’s not. He studied you the entire time you spoke.

“She’s also written several incredible papers on child development that I think are revolutionary and I totally emailed them to you because I think you should read them. She’s also a genius.”

Spencer’s hand twitches. He ignores the sudden need to check his email.

It’s silent as they just stare at him. He doesn’t say anything and tries not to react, but he does. They notice how his eyes flicker to his phone, how his leg fidgets, the longing in his eyes.

Emily brushes her hair back calmly and asks, “Hey, Pen, when does Y/N work at the college library?”

Penelope doesn’t catch on at first, casually replying, “Oh, basically every day from five pm onwards. They’re a twenty-four hour library and she combines working and studying.” When she sees Emily pointedly look at Spencer, she goes ohhh.

“Good to know,” Emily nods, “Good to know.”

+++

Spencer finds himself at the college library that night.

He wants to say it was an accident, or that he just happens to know there’s a special edition of a specific book here, but he’d be lying. He read your papers between reports, and found himself having a deep appreciation for the way you write – he wants to ready everything you’ve ever written. Every essay, every note, every formal and informal piece of work you’ve ever done.

He’s already fallen in love with the way you write. He doesn’t think he’s far from falling in love with you.

He wanders around the lower floor of the library. It’s impressive, he must admit, and he’s disappointed in himself for not visiting earlier. There’s students everywhere, but he notices some other people mixed in too – professors, businesspeople, as well as parents with their children.

He feels a little less weird for creeping around now.

Not that’s he’s creeping. He’s just.. there. To see a certain someone under the guise of looking for a book.

He moseys for a while, from the fiction section to the non-fiction to comics to autobiographies. You’re nowhere to be found – not between the rows of books, not working on any of the desks, not at the centre reception desk.

Until you’re suddenly behind him.

“Spencer?”

He jumps, looking up from the book he’s reading. Your voice is as calming and smooth as always.

“Y/N. Hi.”

“Hi,” Your brows are furrowed, but you’re not disappointed by the unexpected visitor. “What are you doing here?”

He lifts the book he’s holding, an Arthur Conan Doyle, giving a light lipped smile. “I’m just looking. I didn’t realise the college library was so plentiful – did you know the oldest library in the world dates from the seventh century BC?”

“I do, actually.” You point to a poster behind him, which displays that exact fact, “I thought dotting facts around the library would be interesting for the kids. They seem to like them.”

“Learning in young children is socially mediated, so good quality learning environments outside of their schools is crucial for children’s development. So, in a way, you’re enriching their lives beyond understanding.”

You’re flattered at his somewhat far-fetched attempt at complimenting you. It makes your heart flutter.

Why didn’t you contact me, you dimwit?

You open your mouth to ask another question, ask if there’s something he needs help finding, when he beats you to it.

With a firm grip, he slams the book he’s reading shut and says, “I’m lying.”

“Oh?”

“I didn’t come here to.. look around. I came here to see you.”

“Oh.”

Spencer doesn’t know what to make of that. You haven’t awkwardly looked away, or stepped back to increase the distance between you. That means something good, right?

“You didn’t text me, so I assumed you weren’t interested.” Your brows twitch, and you back-pedal, “Unless you purposely didn’t text me because you actually weren’t interested and you might be here to see me but for something book-related rather than me-related and I’ve totally humiliated myself.”

“No, no. You’re right. You’re right.” He fiddles with the book in shame, “I should’ve texted you. I just didn’t know what to say and.. Well, it’s stupid.”

Your head jerks a little to the side, something he’s noticed you do a lot, looking patient and too pretty for him to handle. “I’m sure it’s not stupid.”

Spencer thinks back to his conversation with Derek, specifically the reminder that you gave him your number which means you initiated this so yes, you are interested in him.

It’s just.. when he looks at you, he struggles to believe it a little. You’re breath-taking.  

“I’m worried I’ll bore you.” He starts light, easing you into what’s been troubling him. He’s emboldened by the fact you’re clearly frustrated he didn’t text you.

You give him a look of horror, “The first time we met I told you I loved your dissertation on geographic regression. I definitely do not think you’re anything anywhere near boring.”

“Okay,” He nods, “What about our ages?”

You’re confused. “What about it?”

Spencer mirrors your expression. “It doesn’t.. bother you?”

“Does it.. bother you?”

Usually, answering a question with a question is a sign of deflection, a sign of hiding something. However he doesn’t know why, but Spencer trusts you with his life. Maybe not his life. Maybe his heart.

“Does that silence mean yes?”

He shakes his head, “No. It doesn’t bother me. I just worry that, you know, college years are the so-called best years of your life and I don’t want you to regret being with me, someone older than you, and resent me for it, or something-“

“I think you’re getting way in your head, Spence.” You laugh a little, “We haven’t gone on a single date and you’ve convinced yourself of so much already. For the record, no, your age doesn’t bother me in the slightest. It never has and I doubt it ever will. I think you’re the most fascinating and interesting person on this planet, and if anyone is getting bored with anyone I’m pretty confident it’ll be you getting sick of me. And,” You take a breath, “I think I’m old enough to know what I want, who I want, and what I want is you. If you want me, too.”

Spencer shoves the book back into the bookshelf with a satisfying sound, then turns and quickly places a kiss onto your cheek. It’s completely unexpected and, quite frankly, not something you’d expect from Doctor Reid, but you blush and there’s a definite red colour to Spencer’s cheeks, too.

“I will never, ever, get sick of you.” He says, voice small but firm. “But I don’t want you to regret being with me. Promise me you won’t.”

You give him a look that tells him you think he’s ridiculous. “I promise that I won’t regret being with you. I’d like us to last as long as possible, if I can be picky.”

“I’d like that, too.” He murmurs. The thought of you wanting him for as long as possible almost sends him into a frenzy. He wants to kiss you all over.

You stand close and talk quietly for a while, a little more discussion on a possible date that weekend and a constant stream of compliments from you to Spencer and vice versa, before you realise the time.

“I should probably go. I have a paper to finish.” You smile sadly, a tiny pout forming.

“I understand. Do you think I could read it? When you’re done?”

Your eyebrows shoot up, “Do you know how terrifying the idea of the Spencer Reid reading my work is? But yes, anything for you.”

Anything for you. Are you trying to kill him?

You turn to leave, refusing to admit how sad leaving Spencer makes you feel, when you stop, “One more thing.”

Spencer hums. He’s not fully paying attention, praying to whatever Gods exist that killers take a break on the weekend so he can take you out on the sweetest date.

“If age is a sore area for you,” There’s mirth in your eyes and Spencer prepares himself, “Does that mean the nickname old man is off the table?”

His lips purse and move towards his nose as he narrows his eyes, giving you a look of faux annoyance, “I am not an old man.”

“Sounds like you’re sensitive, old man.”

As you walk away, you jokingly blow him a kiss to add insult to injury. His pretend glare lasts until your back is turned and he feels his gaze softening to something akin to love.

Spencer thins if the rest of his life is this, you teasing him with that twinkle in your eye and smile on your face, then life is truly the most beautiful thing.

[greatteachergojou]

The burden of being the strongest

-> on why Gojo won’t be settling down and why he’s such a child

I’ve been seeing ppl commenting on Gojo being a player and all (based on the character infomations from the fanbook) and it prompted me to write a little brief character analysis on Gojo regarding this matter and also kinda trailed off to a topic that I’ve been meaning to talk about because I get the impression that Gojo is often only perceived as the goofy op madlad who is above everyone and everything - which is also true but there’s also more behind those prominent character traits of his.

!!! Beware of SPOILERS if you’re not caught up to the manga!!! (nothing too specific tho)

------------------------------

So... Gojo Satoru is a player. Gege Akutami has stated that he wears sunglasses when he meets up with them ladies (I think it was in some Q&A if I remember correctly) and in the fanbook he said he can’t picture Gojo being faithful to any specific woman. - Not too surprising if you look at his surface level behaviour/personality. That said, there’s more to it than him being a player just for the sake of it.

Remember that being a jujutsu sorcerer is a high risk job - except for Gojo... since he’s the strongest even the chances of him getting injured is basically zero. But he has seen too many friends and colleagues hurt/loose their lives. You might just die on any random easy mission if you’re not Gojo. It’s not a coincidence that seemingly most sorcerers are not married or anything like that. This job is shit (Nanamin, you’re absolutely right). Choosing this job basically means giving up a normal orderly life in exchange for a life full of uncertainties and dangers. If you’re the type to care for your family it’s probably best not to start one in the first place to spare them from tragedy. As harsh as it sounds, it’s easier to put your life on the line when you don’t have to worry about your other half waiting for you to return home. I think the only ones that would really care to get married and have kids are those from the big sorcerer families because they need to continue their bloodline. And I feel tempted to assume that they don’t care in particular about how their family members feel...

Now, the Gojo clan is one of the big three. It’d normally mean Satoru has the duty to continue his bloodline. He could leave this to other clan members though (assuming he’s not the only member of the Gojo family left). But since he is the holder of the Six Eyes and Limitless and he’s the head of his family, there’d be no way around him getting a wife at some point and have some babies. But we know he’s not about those traditions and very much disdains the inner workings of the clans. And since he’s the head of his family and the strongest, I guess no one can force him to anything anyways.

Gojo is a massive troll and most folks just find him super annoying and  too aloof. But that’s just the side of him that he chooses to display in  most situations. It’s not like a goofy character doesn’t have a  serious side. It’s not like the strongest character never hurts. Because  of his immense power and his nonchalant behaviour one tend to forget  that in the end of the day he’s still just a human. I don’t mean that  he might be a depressed character deep down though.  Rather, I think he’s an innately optimistic person.  It’s just that he surely has some sadness in him that he hides away. I  think he is just the typ of character who, while he’s  indeed  a joyful person, also conveniently uses this side of his to mask the more heavier  things that are on his mind. And he deliberately chooses not to let  people get too close to him because that will prevent him from getting hurt -  which btw perfectly fits his infinity cursed technique...

He understands that being the  strongest is far from meaning that he can protect everyone. God knows  how many friends he’s already lost and while people around him are dying  left and right, he’ll surely remain the last man standing. That’s really  sad if you think about it. While he himself might be untouchable, you  can get to him through threatening others that he cares about like for  example his students. And that is a potential weak point for someone  who’s supposed to be invincible. The strongest sorcerer being  vulnerable? How outrageous, that can’t be allowed, right? Imagine he’d let himself get attached and have a family to care for. He just can’t protect them all the time and he has many enemies on top of that.

Also, right now his ultimate goal is to fundamentally change this world they live in. It’s a huuuge task to tackle (and probably something only he can do). His mind is occupied by this goal which requires him to train as many future talents as possible. When he says he’s busy he always says it in a joking manner but he really is super busy with his general duties of being the strongest and with his ambitious vision (the fanbook also states that he doesn’t sleep much. my poor manchild. how come he still looks like he’s only 18? that’s not fair. i mean, have you seen nanami and ijichi?) Long story short, he also just doesn’t seem too interested in anything else atm. And honestly, who knows if he’ll survive until the very end of the story...

So on first glance it  seems like being the strongest comes with benefits only. But actually,  it’s lonely up there at the very top. And with great power comes great  responsibility. I think he really started to understand that after the  whole deal with Riko.  It’s when he suffered  a devastating  defeat that he started to  understand what it means to be the strongest and it’s when Getou  fundamentally changed that he started to form a clear vision of what he  wants to do and what he can do with his power.  

We don’t know much of Gojo‘s upbringing yet. But  I think it’s save to assume that born as the absolute strongest already had a lot  of burden placed on him basically from the moment he was born. So since  his earliest childhood he needed to deal with the immensely high  expectations from his family and the sorcerer world in general as well  as dealing with the many folks who’d maybe try to get rid of the kid while he’s still just a child. I don’t think it  makes for a happy childhood. From the top of my head I can recall two panels of child Gojo and in both he looked like a distanced child (kinda had the same vibe as Megumi when he was a child).

The circumstances just place a lot of burden for a child. And I guess when puberty hits all those pent-up emotions made him despise authority and made him a rebellious teen who was all cocky and found that those responsibilities as the strongest sorcerer and the whole deal with protecting the weak was the biggest nuisance ever. - That also explaines why he said he won’t allow anyone to steal the best years of the youth (and why he stopped the elders from taking away the students decision on whether or not they should continue the Goodwill event and then proceeded to opt for a fun baseball game) and why he is usually acting like a child himself. Because he didn’t get to live out his childhood and youth himself he cherishes every opportunity he can get to just be easygoing and carefree.

[destinyc1020]

Yeah I think everyone is a little bit right tbh. Its probably a mix of reasons. I think another thing people might not realise is social media presence can very much effect your "look" which effects how hollywood views you. This of course depends on the actors reach because Florence is a big goof on ig (love her) but she doesnt have that much of a sm presence so it doesn't effect people's perception of her. Basically not that many people see it for it to influence her look to the majority of people. She's seen as a great actress whereas with actors like z and tom who have a massive engagement and go viral over the smallest things need to be more careful because a big part of their following are people who don't even follow them for their work, their social media is a whole different beast in itself that a video or post could be seen by more people than their own projects. So what they post and how they portray themselves very much has an influence on their career as a certain role would. It sounds ridiculous but if tom posted as much much weird and goofy stuff as he used to then thats how his audience but also hollywood (directors, studios etc) will view him. Kinda like how people just view him as Peter parker and some people don't take him seriously because of it. I dont have the link but I read a discussion about it before and it was super interesting. Many younger actors are now encouraged to keep their social media very mysterious (like timmys) because another effect it can have is people now more than ever actually know what a celebrity is like (to a degree) we build up our own image and that can be seen as a negative as casting directors want the audience to associate them with the character and not the actor and obvious thats becoming more difficult. Its even worse for tom because he's already accociated with a young, goofy iconic character but then ontop of that to be associated with cute goofy tom could have him not as desirable for serious roles and studios look at him more for action/comedy movies that cater to his young audience. Toms spoken about moving to the next chapter of his life and wanting to do more serious roles and maybe (just a theory) hes trying to keep his social media a bit more serious. I definitely think that's a big reason zendayas behaviour on sm changed. Her page is a lot more grown up and less personal. It's very professional and I really do think that was strategic to shake the teen image and I do think it helped

Thanks Anon for this in-depth analysis. I totally agree with you. I don't think fans realize just how much your social media "presence" will sometimes have to change, especially the more followers you get, and the more variety of roles you start wanting to go for. Keep in mind, even regular employers sometimes look at someone's social media posting habits and decide whether to hire you based on THAT alone. So yea, Tom and Z go viral just for breathing these days lol, so they have definitely scaled back somewhat on what they post...which is SMART actually imo. I've always felt that it's a little better to be mysterious anyway as opposed to posting everything. If I had to choose an extreme, I'd much prefer the opposite, because posting every single thing can get you in trouble. The less you post the better honestly. Like you said, a lot of actors don't post too much because they want audiences to see them as the character that they are. The more people feel like they know you, the harder it is for people to see you disappear into a character.

Yea, I miss the days when Z was posting her everyday life every two seconds lol... But now that she's 25 and is trying to get more serious roles as a respected actress in Hollywood, I can't even imagine her posting HALF of the stuff she would post like even just 3 or 4 years ago lol! 😅🤣

Same with Tom. If Tom is looking to do more adult roles, and to shake the Peter Parker image, he's probably not going to be posting 24/7 or posting fluff stuff all the time. Like you said, casting directors see a celebrity's postings as well.

[seventeenlovesthree]

How the creators of Digimon Adventure 01 and 02 “scattered the children’s personality traits all over the place (...) to throw you off the usual, conventional track” and caused one of their male characters to defy male stereotypes.

Just a little response to the creators of Digimon Adventure 01 and 02 talking about how many male and female characters they wanted to include in their story.

Disclaimer: This theory is to be taken not only with a grain, but a whole cave full of salt. At first glance, there is nothing that suggests that any of the following points lead to anything other than Koushirou Izumi being just a very nuanced, multidimensional, cleverly written male character in a show that refuses to give in to character stereotypes. So this is just a little thought experiment. In general, despite his shortness, Koushirou is depicted as very boyish throughout all seasons. However, there are still some minor things that are not only “atypical for male characters”, but could potentially also be read as "typically female character framing/coding", especially if you take into consideration that Digimon was created in the 1990s:

He's the ONLY male character who (almost*) NEVER got a male voice actor in the Japanese original. (*The only exception was for the one line he had in the epilogue. But throughout Adventure 01, 02, Tri and Kizuna, he always had voice actresses.)

He is often placed “on the girls' side” (and depicted as a mirror to Sora, who, in return, also broke through female character stereotypes throughout the course of 01). This is especially apparent in the final episodes of Adventure 01, the Dark Masters’ arc. Due to the imbalance of male and female characters (another analysis post about this can be found here), you might think that “somebody HAD to go over to the other side, right?” But then again, you may also ask yourself: “Why exactly was there a reason to mirror boys and girls in the first place?”

His general “softness”. Admittedly, this can always be assigned to the fact that he is a child at the age of ten. Plus, throughout the course of 01 and 02, he gets developed into some kind of “middle ground character”. But let’s start at the beginning: Koushirou starts the series as a very polite person, who is having a hard time connecting to other people, thus hiding behind the polite demeanour and losing himself in solving riddles. However, despite that, he is still a very nuanced, hands-on and emotional character, who is allowed to show feelings and cry on a regular basis (the cry count in Adventure is at 3 or 4, if I’m not mistaken), he can be kind, silly, goofy or flustered, etc.

(Also, obviously, all children are seen to have an affinity for physical affection towards their partners, but since he’s one of the shortest characters, he appears to be especially squishy when he hugs Tentomon/Motimon.) He becomes more open in 02, more direct and forward in expressing his anger and frustration - but throughout 01 and 02, he isn’t seen showing signs of “stereotypical male (prideful alpha) behaviour”. Taichi and Yamato, for comparison’s sake, very clearly fall into the category of “Let’s settle this with loud, angry words or even fists if necessary”. Thankfully, as the headline suggests, there is nuance in each and every of these characters - and Taichi and Yamato are just as often, if not more regularly, seen being thoughtful, considerate and crying. However, the two of them and Jyou show (different kinds of) leadership and authority throughout 01, which may also lead to somewhat toxic tendencies when it comes to acting out of obligation only, not taking other people’s feelings into consideration or trying to claim leadership by force. (On a different note, Taichi can very clearly be “Girls, am I right?”, which is something Koushirou kiiiiiinda also shows symptoms of on several occasions, but mainly in a “I really don’t know how to deal with people” manner, whether it’s about Mimi or when he says “this is easier for girls” or “women can be scary when angry.”) All of the things stated above aren’t that much outside the norm without context - since Koushirou does take on a “leadership role” in 02. However, he does so in a different way than you’d expect:

The family angle and his role as a parental figure. Or in other words: His dadness/momness. Granted, there are certainly a lot of male mentor figures in fiction (even though the majority often falls into the Gennai category of "wise old man"). However, as we have pointed out before, Koushirou is generally a very emotional character and several of his attributes, his kindness and overly worried nature towards the 02 kids are easily traits you would usually assign to a character like Sora. The big sister/mom friend. Who was chosen not be around that much - as amazing and revolutionary as Miyako was as a tech genius, the way the girls were treated was still somewhat debatable, but I digress. Not only are Sora and Koushirou shown to be parallels at the end of 01, but they’re also depicted to be complete mirrors during the second episode of 02, being the mentor figures who are meant to “awaken” their successors. And, interestingly enough, it's almost like Sora gave the "mom friend baton" to Koushirou when saying “I hope they can be good replacements for us”, to which Koushirou immediately replied "No, we have to do our best too!". He takes on the role of the team mom mentor very seriously, is one of the most visible original characters throughout the whole season, provides information, shelter, support - and even scolds the kids if necessary (which leads to a very hilarious scene in which he and Taichi basically act like a bickering couple - generally, they’re being very proud parental figures for the youngsters). 

Before that, during the Dark Masters’ arc in 01, he had already taken on the role of the emotional support for Taichi and Hikari: “Koushirou’s family issues getting resolved leads to him being the one who tries to help the one person he is emotionally closest to (besides Tentomon of course) with his own family related issues. Koushirou, who decided early on that he had to “do something” in order not to let the “feeling of unity” among them get shattered. Koushirou, who was seen not only developing a subtle interest in Taichi’s sister and reassuring her on two occasions, but also got to hear their entire backstory. Even if he doesn’t consciously understand the family angle to its full extent, it is becoming much more clear why he’s getting so frustrated with not being able to “help” in the “way he wants to”. Whereas Taichi obviously considers his “help” in protecting Hikari as important enough." So his role as parental figure throughout 02 isn’t that unlikely to begin with, as he was basically acting the way Sora had throughout the course of 01, trying to keep the team together, caring for them, supporting them. 

Not to mention that he, in general, has always been by Taichi’s side, driving the plot and figuring out solutions to problems throughout 01, while simultaneously ending up to be the only one who sees Taichi at his most vulnerable, lowest point(s) in the series, telling him to take care of himself. In contrast, Koushirou also had some of his most emotional moments, breaking through his polite demeanour, in response to Taichi. So the final question that remains and that will probably never be answered is: “If Digimon had decided to even out the cast, including 4 male and 4 female characters, would Koushirou have been chosen to be a girl - and would he have been seen as a potential love interest for Taichi, thus having Taishirou be considered/perceived as ‘canon’ (or at least experience a big rise in popularity) due to the way Taichi’s and Koushirou’s relationship was handled?” Who knows...

The “momness” angle is also interesting when you think about the theory that the Digimon partners are reflections/(hidden) parts of their human partners’ souls. Even if Tri plays the following aspect for laughs, Tentomon is STILL depicted as “motherly” (which was also the way Koushrou’s and Tentomon’s voice actors described him in an interview around the third Tri movie):

If Tentomon is a reflection of Koushirou’s soul, this is something that IS somewhere inside of him to at least come capacity (even if Tri in general does not show off his parental traits like 02 did, quite the opposite, actually - Tentomon and the others have to take care of him). And since Tentomon directs this quote towards Koromon...

Tldr: In sum, it may just mean that Digimon has been pretty groundbreaking for its time by refusing to turn their characters into tropy stereotypes and give them a lot of nuance instead. I wasn’t trying to assign any kind of differentiating gender (or gender-fluidity for that matter) to any character in Digimon, I was just trying to summarize things I had noticed when reading through other Digimon related theories - and in the end, regardless of how you read Koushirou’s “coding”, headcanons are always allowed. I also found the idea interesting that him wearing mainly loose clothes or formal shirts was an indicator of him hiding certain attributes. From that angle, it would also have made his whole “struggling to find clothes” arc in Tri a lot more interesting, because it could have implied he was trying to figure out his own identity there...

[whenyouknowyouknow]

GOLDEN music video analysis

First of all, DISCLAIMER: These are merely the things that I noticed and what I think they could mean. I do not claim that these are H’s brain childs.

Second of all I might have written some stuff double, but I really wanted to publish this before TPWK drops. So YAY to that.

Third of all. Sorry this is really long ^^* Now lets start.

The two main parts that I noticed about the MV:

there is a shit ton of cuts

there are 7 different characters

Let’s have a look at the later first

THE CHARACTERS

In order of appearance

1. The Runner

1.1. clothes

white oversized shirt

half unbuttoned

shorts in soft sand and red colours, one of a kind feedsack shorts (hybrid seeds)

white (but dirty) canvas shoes with soft pink and white laces

gold cross necklace

1.2. symbolism

lots of skin visible through shorts, half-open shirt and shirt being half see-through = openness

canvas shoes are well worn and dirty = steadiness/consistency and loyalty/devotion

shorts: genuine hybrid seeds (Hybrid seeds are bred for higher yield and better resistance against pests and disease. Their seeds will not produce the same plant as the parent)

colours:

white - associated with light, goodness, innocence, purity, virginity, perfection

beige - neutral, calm, relaxing

pale pink - soothing

1.3. behaviour

main protagonist

runs after the camera

looks at the camera nearly all the time

Smiles/sings along/runs hard

chases camera, sometimes under strain but most often running with it

He is the thread that leads through the MV (appears a lot in the beginning, gets strewn in until the end, is the first and the last)

only one not wearing pearls

1.4. special moments

“I know you were way too (camera changes from full-frontal to frog perspective to show the bright sky) bright for me”

“loving you’s the antidote, golden” (greets away from camera)

2:35 not running (during the 28 goldens) ruffling hair and looking around as if uncertain how to proceed, “Because I’m so golden” turns and runs away from the camera, “You’re so golden” camera switches back to frontal

Gonna put the rest under the break because this thing got massive and long

2. Suited Up

2.1. clothes

light blue/turquoise blazer

shirt striped white and soft blue

tartan flares

white lace gloves (not always)

white (but dirty) canvas shoes with soft pink and white laces

gold cross necklace, light blue&white bead necklace (Millefiori+Freshwater pearls)

2.2. symbolism

patterned trousers - giving balance to the monochrome jacket, the pattern is very small, you have to look close to see it properly

striped shirt - two contrasting colours, stripes were historically used for outcasts and people that needed to be contained (servants, jesters, prostitutes, ...) in this case the contrast is low (white and light blue) and not always right away visible

non-formal suit, no tie, top buttons are open to reveal jewelry, sometimes with lace gloves - hides most of himself but not in an uptied way. There is a playfulness about it with the top buttons undone and the lace gloves that do cover his hands but also not. He plays peek-a-boo with how much he reveals

canvas shoes are well worn and dirty = steadiness/consistency and loyalty/devotion

Colours:

light blue - serenity, stability, inspiration, wisdom, calming, reliability but also sadness

white - associated with light, goodness, innocence, purity, virginity, perfection

brown - reliability, elegance, security, healing, home, grounding, foundations, stability, warmth, honesty

2.3. behaviour

goofy and expressive

lots of dad dancing and acting out musical parts

very flirty

   2.4. special moments

gloves: in the beginning and the gesturing along with the chimes

no gloves: dorky dancing and car hood flirting

“Of who I am and all I’ve ever known” dorky dancing

hides his hands when he flirts with the camera while singing “I don’t want to be alone” 

grinning dancing, camera twirls around him, he twirls and lands on a car hood, flirting with both people inside (they are not distinguishable), his foot is raised up coquettishly, pan around to his face, he smiles broadly

3. Car Driver

3.1. clothes

shirt striped white and light blue

lace gloves

light blue&white bead necklace (Millefiori+Freshwater pearls)

3.2. symbolism

the jacket is gone, leaving the striped shirt in full view

shirt not buttoned up

lace gloves - protection vs being open, purity vs debauchery

separated from camera through windshield - distancing himself from the onlooker

Colours:

light blue - serenity, stability, inspiration, wisdom, calming, reliability but also sadness

white - associated with light, goodness, innocence, purity, virginity, perfection

3.3. behaviour

does not smile

sings and seems mostly neutral and concentrated on driving

3.4. special moments

“take me back to the light” in tunnel, hard cut to outside tunnel, hard cut to inside tunnel emerging from tunnel

last line: “I don’t want to be alone”

4. Waterboy

4.1. clothes

swim shorts striped blue/off-white

gold cross necklace, blue beads necklace (Millefiori necklace+Freshwater pearls)

4.2. symbolism

lots of skin, open hands stretched out towards camera - very open

barefoot - innocence/childhood, freedom from real-life requirements

switch from light blue to a stronger blue (necklace and shorts) - emphasize on that colour

Colours:

blue - serenity, stability, inspiration, wisdom, calming, reliability but also sadness

white - associated with light, goodness, innocence, purity, virginity, perfection

4.3. behaviour

only one depicted in 3 different ways (1. outside of water filmed from inside water, 2. inside water filmed from inside the water, 3. inside water filmed from outside the water)

outside of water: squatting, facing the camera, strong gestures and mimic, slightly crazy

inside the water: diving, sinking, floating, often with eyes shut

Water is used as something to either hide in (camera) or be surrounded with (H)

4.4. special moments

first appearance: “I don’t want to be alone” reaches for and sings to the camera (which is under water and peaking out) “I don’t want to be alone” dives into the water

“I can feel it take a hold” under water, only eyes above waterline and out of view from the camera

“out of my head” starts shaking his head crazily “and I know that you’re scared because hearts get broken” camera sinks deeper under water, when it’s under, H hits the water

“I know that you’re scared because I’m so OPEN” hits the water

5. Fishermans Hat

5.1. clothes

yellow fisherman’s hat

Cross necklace, white bead necklace (Millefiori+Freshwater pearls)

long flared trousers beige with blue flower print

brown belt

white (but dirty) canvas shoes with soft pink and white laces

5.2. symbolism

first appearance of yellow, only hints of blue in the fine flower print

upper body naked, lower body completely covered - ambivalence between showing and not showing but very clearly divided. Covered parts are not guessable bc even the form is hidden

Colours:

yellow - most luminous colour, stands for happiness, optimism, enlightenment, creativity, sunshine but also betrayal and cowardice

blue - serenity, stability, inspiration, wisdom, calming, reliability but also sadness

5.3. behaviour

either pressing his lips together or mouthing along to the instrumentals

swaying to the music

stands on various places on the shore rocks in different distances

lots of cuts

5.4. special moments

only appears during the 28 goldens and the following “Because I’m so open”

only once turned away from the camera 2:38 (extremely short cut, only visible if slowed down to the max)

6. Crystal ball

6.1. clothes

nail polish gold/silver

white beret with black bow/trim

Cross necklace, white bead necklace (Millefiori+Freshwater pearls)

6.2. symbolism

only clothing is the hat, crystal ball is center - technically very open but what you see is upside down and distorted

he holds the crystal ball himself - the distortion and turning upside down of what we see is in his hands

Colours:

white - associated with light, goodness, innocence, purity, virginity, perfection

6.3. behaviour

being upside down

sings along

only fast cuts to him

6.4. special moments

first appearance after “Because hearts get broken”

last appearance “I know that you’re scared because I’m so open” (analysis of that part in the extras)

7. Reflection

7.1. clothes

swim shorts

7.2. symbolism

the person itself is only seen in contour and upside down - no real information and lots of distortion and distraction (upside down, reflection on the water, tinted red and yellow, clouds and stones mix into the picture)

Colours:

yellow - most luminous colour, stands for happiness, optimism, enlightenment, creativity, sunshine but also betrayal and cowardice

blue - serenity, stability, inspiration, wisdom, calming, reliability but also sadness

red - love, lust, sexuality, sensitivity, romance, joy, strength, leadership, courage, anger, danger, malice, wrath, determination

7.3. behaviour

this could be the 4th version of the Water Boy but as there are so many differences I put him extra

we only ever see the dark reflection of him

always upside down

dances in swaying motions

7.4. special moments

the whole composition looks a bit like an eye

appears 3 times during the 28 goldens

Constants in all roles are:

silver and golden nail polish

Both stand for wealth

silver additionally stands for kindness, psychic abilities and is believed to be the mirror to the soul, helping us to see ourselves as others see us

gold associated with illumination, love, compassion, courage, magic and wisdom but also sparkle and glamour

golden cross necklace

pearls (and Millefiori beads in light blue or blue)

only the Runner doesn’t wear them (it’s not clear for the Reflection but based on the shorts I’d say the styling is the same as for the Waterboy)we all know how H is wearing pearls now basically everywhere so him wearing them in the MV is no surprise

Pearls are said to attract wealth and luck, offer protection, balance karma, strengthen relationships, symbolize purity, generosity, integrity, loyalty, used for purifying wate

The millefioriare glas beads that depict flowers. Flowers symbolize fertility, health, flourishing

these necklaces are pretty and colour coordinated to the outfits but they also seem to be a blessing

when there are shoes it’s white (but dirty) canvas shoes with soft pink and white laces

which can stand for steadiness/consistency and loyalty/devotion

Main themes

a journey that starts in a tunnel and ends on a open road, both (beginning and ending) are unprovoked

conflict between openness and secrecy, how much is shown and how much of that is the reality?

Now to the cuts

The editing of the video is brilliant and hides so many little tidbits that I fear that I have seen only half of them (I meantioned the most noticable ones in the Roles), so here goes nothing

There are 156 cuts

The highest concentration of cuts is during the 28 goldens until “Because I’m so open.”

The biggest cluster of cuts is at 2:43 (7 cuts) and 2:44 (6 cuts) “Because I’m so open”

All cuts visualized

Runner - skin tone

Suited Up - royal blue

Car Driver: Tunnel - dark red, Outside - sky blue

Waterboy: Outside - pale green, Under Water - dark green, In Water - bluish green

Crystal Ball - brown

Fishermans Hat - yellow

Reflection - purple

The last dark red cut should be morphing into a sky blue (just couldn’t figure out how to do that)

The lead up to the climax starts shortly after the first appearence of the crystal ball (5th row from the bottom)

the 28 Goldens start with the Suited Up blue in the same row

All appearences of the Fichermans Hat are only during the 28 Goldens and in the climax

Now let’s talk about the climax

the 28 Goldens end with the last appearence of the Reflection (purple)

The following 5 seconds are the climax

Cristal ball “I know” Suited up (full body, looking to the right, lips pressed together, steps forward)

“That you’re scared” Runner (stands,looks at camera, hands on hips)

“Be” Suited Up (portrait, looks at camera, slightly upwards)

“cause” Suited Up (portrait, looks at camera, slightly downward)

“I” Crystal ball

“‘m”

Suited Up (portrait, looks at camera slightly downwards)

Waterboy (in water, head above, hands strechted out to a V)

Fishermans Hat (half body, raising arms, head tilted to the right)

“so” Crystal ball (lowering the Crystal ball)

“o”

Waterboy (in water, head above, hands slowly sinking, moving head backwards as if cheering)

Crystal ball (without Crystal ball, comes into focus)

Waterboy (in water, head above, moving head backwards as if cheering, wave rolls into the focus, Waterboy not visible)

Crystal ball (without Crystal ball)

Crystal ball (super short flicker, with Crystal ball again)

“pen” Waterboy (outside water, hits the water)

Runner (turnes away from camera and runs away)

So what is the story? At first it might look as if all the different characters are random and the MV only being about a nice summer day, singing about a love and not having an underlying story but when we look deeper there is a lot to unpack.

When we look at the distribution of how much time each character got and when which character was the focus it becomes clear that the Runner is the main protagonist. He is the one that starts us off, carries us through and brings it to the end. He quite literally runs us through the MV. He is the red thread tying it all together. He is also the only one not wearing pearls, which sets him apart from all the characters but also from H himself.

Looking at the other characters he is one of only two that actually smile. But while the Suited up character is, well... suited up, literally hiding most parts of himself from the viewer, even going as far as wearing gloves, the Runner is wearing loose clothes, short or see through and not buttoned up. He is showing quite a lot of himself and he is not self conscious about it or coquettish or anything really because he is focusing on running. Pulling us through the music video by running towards us(?), the camera, really. He is also not chasing. There are parts where he pushes himself to run faster but it’s never a chase. Always running with the camera.

The only time he breaks the pattern is during the instrumental part, the 28 Goldens, where he stops running, looking around as if questioning where to go. He picks back up running directly after the climax “I know that you’re scared because I’m so open” but this time he runs away from the camera as if choosing a different path. Because maybe he doesn’t want the other to be scared and choses to go back or maybe he wasn’t actually open and wants to change that by retracing his steps. But with the next cut to him he is again running towards the camera. It’s not clear if anything changed and then he just stops running. The camera getting further away from him. He looks on, there are no sad feelings.

Of all the other characters only one shows no signs of hiding anything.

Suited up is dorky, expressive and flirty while also playing with the contrasts of a full suit but a not fully buttoned shirt, with lace gloves that hide him but also give peeks of him, with hiding his hands behind his back while flashing his dimpled smile. He looks genuine, he probably is ... to some extent. There are parts of himself that he doesn’t show but he is charming about it. Playing with it.

The Driver hides behind his windshield, also wearing the lace gloves but he is not charming or even smiling. He drives. Somewhere. He definitely drives from the dark tunnel into the light while singing “take me back to the light” and he ends his appearances with the words “I don’t want to be alone”. He shows us his vulnerable side by telling us his hopes but there is no deep connection, he keeps a distance.

The Fishermans hat seems open and for a certain part he is, a bare chest with all his history etched into his skin is quite clearly open. But his lower body is so effectively covered, we can’t even see the exact shape of his legs due to the trousers cut, or if he is even wearing any shoes. that it feels like a statement of “yes you can see part of me but the other part I keep absolutely hidden.” He keeps his lips well pressed together. Jumping closer and further back again with each cut. Making it hard to place him or foresee what to expect next.

The Crystal ball is a study in hiding. Yes the part of the body we see is naked and seems very open, but it’s also upside down and distorted by the ball that he holds himself. And even the part of the climax where he lowers the ball to reveal himself ends in a short flicker of the ball being back, distortion in place. That is the last appearance of this character.

The Reflection is by far the most mysterious. We don’t see anything of him except for his outline. He is a reflection in a pond, distorted and tinted by the other reflections and the stones under water as well as the whole scene being tinted by red and orange. There is no way to get any real information from that one.

And then there is the Waterboy. The one in just swim shorts. The one pulling faces at something, someone, in the water. The one talking directly to the camera “and I know that you’re scared because hearts get broken” while the camera sinks lower. The one jumping into the water “I don’t want to be alone” and “I can feel it take a hold” while being under water. There is no clarification who he is talking too/about but it is clear that he wants to be close and closer. Wants to surround himself with it. This openness is especially stark as every other side character is a version of hiding in some way or the other.

The clash of all those characters hiding, distorting, playing peek-a-boo with how much they reveal and how much of their personality is reality and that one honest open character that wants someone so much that he is diving for them. Disregarding all the other characters because he is the one that scares the other by being open.

And still the last side character making an appearance is the one suited up, he smiles and is charming, flirting with people that can’t be seen, we can see them waving and really they could be anyone that wants his attention. He twirls, drapes himself over the hood of their car, letting his dimples pop, delicately placing his chin in his hand and raising his foot. It’s the longest continuous scene in the music video and is followed only by the Runner stopping to run, ending his part of escorting us through the story.

[mk-wizard]

G1 Tracks: Analysis of a Scarlet Faced Pretty Boy

Hello, Transformers fans. At the request of @rudyknight​ I am doing a character analysis of one the semi-iconic Transformers being Autobot Tracks from the G1. I will go over his history, his influence and legacy, and my own personal opinion.

Autobot Tracks was first introduced in the Marvel comics, like most of the Transformers. He was one of the many passengers on the Ark and he had a vain side back then too as he was always self conscious about how good he looked and hated getting his hands dirty, but he would still do so if it meant helping his friends. He also seemed to be hard to get along with because he was whiny and lazy when it came to doing work. However, Tracks seemed to overcome these character flaws little by little until the beginning of Rodimus Prime’s reign when he sadly died a pretty horrible death which involved getting doused in acid and was killed later most likely by an ally out of mercy.

He was one of the few Transformers who got re-introduced in the G1 cartoon with a much tamer setting though like in the comics, his laid back and vain pretty boy personality was retained. Before the war, he was a resident of the planet Dancitron which is in the Cybertronian solar system and it is hinted to be a recreational planet where the wealthy and high class reside meaning that it is most likely that Tracks came from a rich family and had a comfortable life which explains why he is fixated on image, nice things and is not used to hands on work. He was once again, one of the passengers on the Ark and fought under Optimus Prime against Megatron’s army in the war. His alt mode was that of a luxury blue sports car which at the time, was the kind only the rich and famous on Earth would own.

Unlike in the comics, the cartoon version of Tracks was not as vain or bratty. He was still difficult and whiny when it came to doing his job and still fussed about ruining his paint job, but he was not actually a narcissist and actually did like people. He was also not a big snob who looked down on those who weren’t part of his social class hence why he genuinely grateful to a poor teenager named Raoul and even struck up a friendship with him. He has also displayed gratitude to others as well when they helped him, and he seems to actually like Earth and appreciate its culture namely the arts, music and dance. It is also worth noting that as time went on, Tracks’ spoiled rich kid personality matured and this showed a lot by the end of the series during the reign of Rodimus Prime where at this point, he was a very ruthless fighter who took protecting his comrades and the innocent to spark. Unlike in Marvel, the cartoon rewarded Tracks for growing up and allowed him throughout the series’ run.

Since then, Tracks became a popular icon in the Transformers community specifically in the LGBT+ section because people often believed that he was most likely to one of the few Transformers who was gay due to his demeanor and behaviour. However, Hasbro has clarified this as a misunderstanding in that the way acts is merely and indicator of how he was brought up not which way he swings and I have to agree as the evidence does indeed hint that Tracks had it a little too good. Moreover, back in the day, being gay was a still a very new and very sensitive topic, so he along with most of the cast was by default straight. The one Autobot who was confirmed to be gay was Sunstreaker though that an analysis for another day.

Throughout the decades, Tracks would make several cameos and appearances as a side character usually as a tertiary one or a one off type. In Transformers Animated, he made some on screen appearances and had one iconic moment where he was terrified of Captain Fanzone for being an organic being as Tracks was one of the few Autobots who believed Sentinel’s inaccurate propaganda of organics. According the Allspark Almanac works, this version of Tracks is a lot like the G1 version, but he remained on Cybertron and never had the humbling experience of fighting in the war, so he underwent the opposite character development. Animated Tracks is  rude, a snob, has very few friends, has almost no appreciation for what he has, and a notorious gossip. Despite that, Tracks is still a top of the line hand-to-hand fighter as he tries to keep in shape and remain the best at what he does. He also undergoes cosmetic upgrades a little too frequently to the point where one could consider it as full body cosmetic surgery. He looks almost identical to his G1 version especially with the iconic red face, but he is thinner, he sports a tiny goatee and wears glasses. Whether these are just fashion sunglasses or prescription ones has never been confirmed though. Beyond that notable moment, Tracks had a much more prominent role in the IDW comics where he is a lot more like his G1 counterpart including in character development meaning he is back to being the more likeable pretty boy. As far as what is written, he still alive and well while looking as stylish as ever.

As for his influence on the lore, it has become a widely accepted fact that the sports car alt mode is more like a cosmetic form rather than a practical one because it is not discreet and most bots who choose it, tend to be laid back or all about having fun. This is seen in Rescue Bots Blurr and Prime Smokescreen. It also noted that these two versions of the characters underwent the same character development as Tracks. They started off as immature and goofy, but matured into responsible heroes. As time went on, several storyboard and discarded takes of Tracks that never came to be have surfaced. Most curiously, similarly to Queen Elsa from Disney’s Frozen, Tracks was originally slated to be a villain and was even going to be a Decepticon. It is not known why Hasbro decided to change his faction and moral alignment though.

As for my own personal opinion of Tracks, I agree that he is indeed your typical spoiled vain rich boy who was thrown out of his comfort zone, but he is not nearly as bad as some people including Hasbro depict him as. Tracks is not actually narcissistic, unkind or without compassion. He is more like a guy who doesn’t know any better, but would never be mean on purpose. When presented with the misfortune and suffering of others, he does feel compassion and he always appreciates the kindness of strangers regardless of their social class. Moreover, he does want to inspire others to be the best of themselves too hence why he influenced Raoul into going back on the right Track and kept in touch with him. And when he faced with doing right or wrong, he will always choose right. In short, Tracks is not a bad guy or a bad Autobot. He was just young and inexperienced at responsibility, but when he got thrown into the water, he did learn to swim and became better for it.

Anyway, this is my analysis of Tracks with both the facts and my own personal opinion. I would like to know what you all think. A big thanks to @rudyknight​ for requesting to do an analysis of Tracks. He turned out to be more than just a pretty red face.

If you have a Transformers theory or character analysis you want explored, please let me know in my ask box. And please, support me through Patreon or Ko-fi if you want me to make Transformers merch and videos. Or if you want a commission of your favourite bot, let me know in my shop. All links are on my profile page.

Thanks for reading and as always, stay safe.