#GOOD LORD ITS ALL GUILTY GEAR

[skidcd-megamix]

Compilation of the guilty gear doodles from requests on insta

[maxiwaxipads]

Tuxam Who Visits Bad Badtz-Maru Kingdom!

Badobarm - “Hahah!—When I read your letter, I couldn’t believe the contents and thought someone wrote in your name.” Badobarm - “‘Course. I had to see for myself.” “So, you’re having trouble and need my help?” Tuxam - “D—Don’t speak loudly! You’re the first person I thought could help me.” “I find you sensible, and those skills might have helped me!” Badobarm - “I see. I see.” “So you can’t relax at all?” Tuxam - “M…Mhm.” Badobarm - “Then spend time with me, Tuxam.” “Let’s find something to do.” Tuxam - “J…Just like that?” “No planning at all?” Badobarm - “First lesson, Tuxam.” “Sometimes the unexpected is equally good as the expected.” Badobarm - “Now, let’s go—shall we?” Tuxam - “Y…Yes!” [Extra 1] - “Heading out for the day, Badobarm?” Badobarm - “You bet I am.” [Extra 2] - “A friend of yours?—Please, have fun around the kingdom!” Badobarm - “Yes. We’ll do.” Tuxam - “(It’s almost impressive how happy everyone here is… I haven’t even seen a single frown.)” Badobarm - “Now… What should we start with today…?” “You hungry, Tuxam? To neglect food is to neglect yourself.” Tuxam - “No, I already ate—” (stomach rumbles) Badobarm - “Then that’s that. Let’s find somewhere to eat!” Badobarm - “Anything in mind? Want me to pick?” Tuxam - “I trust in your judgment, Badobarm—let’s go whichever seems best.” Badobarm - “Got it. Got it. Anything I have in mind—Ah! I got it.” “You’re going to love this place.” Badobarm - “Lesson number two. Good food is also good fun.” Tuxam - “…Good food is—good fun.” Badobarm - “Oi, Tuxam.” Tuxam - “Yes?” Badobarm - “Having fun means having fun in the moment, so you don’t always have to write what I’m saying down.” Badobarm - “But you’re earnest, Tuxam—And I find that admirable.” Tuxam - “W—Where is this coming from…!?” “You don’t need to compliment me.” Badobarm - “Then write this down as well—compliments are also something fun to receive.” Tuxam - “Badobarm… There’s something I’m confused about…” Badobarm - “?” Tuxam - “Isn’t this definition of fun… Too broad?” Badobarm - “Broad?” “That’s exactly what it means to have fun.” Tuxam - “Fun…” Badobarm - “Relax. Don’t think about it too much.” “Fun is anything that makes you smile.”

(Walking into a dark alleyway, where even the walls touch both shoulders)  (Graffiti covers the wall, but the trash is surprisingly tidy and organized minus a puddle of mud or glass bottles by the side) (A weak light blinks to reveal a door)

Badobarm - “We’re here now.” Tuxam - “…” Tuxam - “Doesn’t it look a little… Shady?” Badobarm - “Everything looks shady here in Bad Badtz-Maru Kingdom.” “But—Don’t just a book by it’s cover, right?” Tuxam - “Got it.” Badobarm - “Oh.” “Let me do the talking though. Keep your head down. Don’t make eye contact, and don’t look around until I say we’re there.” Tuxam - “…Is this really a restaurant?” Badobarm - “Eh. Sorta.” “…Partially?” Tuxam - “…Badobarm.” “Is it really safe?” Badobarm - “Of course it is.” “I wouldn’t take you somewhere dangerous, now—would I?”

(A plain white door smudged with a few scratches and unknown stains) (Somewhat elevated by two-stairs)  (The light blinks a few times)

Badobarm - “Could you stay right here? I’ll be back, it won’t take too long.”

(Badobarm enters, leaving the door partially closed) (Tuxam overhears racket and a few exchanged words) (A loud pang…!)

Tuxam - “Badobarm, are you—” Badobarm - “Don’t worry about it! I’m coming right now.” (Badobarm who arrives with a cartoonish head bump) Badobarm - “I’m back, Tuxam.” “Hold my hand. We’ll be climbing a fleet of stairs.” Tuxam - “…If you say so.”

(Entering a building, Tuxam looks down—a clean floor that’s kept tidy)

Badobarm - “I’ll walk slowly.”

(Climbing up a fleet of stairs)

Badobarm - “You’re free to look around.”

(Lightbulbs light the dim corners of the room, but morning from the outside overwhelmingly pours) (There are empty tables and chairs) (It’s clean but lacks decoration) (They sit by a table with a window view)

Tuxam - “…I have to ask, Badobarm. Am I allowed to know where we are?” Badobarm - “The 2nd floor of a barber shop.” “We entered through a staff-only exit.” Tuxam - “The view here—it’s quite nice.” (Blueness above—making a drab building glazed with opulence. Rooftops akin to stepping stones that helped in tracing the skies and followed the alignment of clouds.) (Nonchalance became a spectacle, as thousands swayed to the melodic chimes of everyday life.) (I couldn't indent...) Badobarm - “I know right?” “The owner is a little eccentric—but if you look past that, the food here is great.” […] - “Who are you calling eccentric?” […] - “Betrayer. Scoundrel. Fool. Arrogant.” “You came here out of your volition just to bother me. Wow~ What a bully.”

(It’s a person wearing a blue turtle shell on their head with a waiter’s outfit on.) (You can’t really see their face, but there’s a hole where you can kind of see an eye.)

[…] - “Should I even feed you in the first place? Perhaps even poison your food? Do you prefer opioids or stimulants?” Badobarm - “Thank you. But can we have a menu?” […] - “Sure. I was just thinking about that.” […] - “I’ll leave you to it.” Tuxam - “If my assumptions are correct, that’s the chef?” Badobarm - “Yup.” Tuxam - “I’m more curious… How did you find a place like this anyway?” Badobarm - “I was actually mugged.” Tuxam - “M…Mugged!?” Badobarm - “More or less.” “But the owner here offered food, so I thought to myself—hell, why not?” Tuxam - “I’m glad you fed yourself that moment, but you should be more careful than that next time…” Tuxam - “Wait—Did you even know what was in this food…!?” Badobarm - “M-More or less…” Tuxam - “B—Badobarm!” “Be more careful next time.” Badobarm - “…But they did also give me a menu—with all the listed ingredients like this one. Look—still the same as I first saw it.” […] - “You told him that story…” “It was so embarrassing…” […]- “…Eh.hhhhhh. You even scolded me on my posture…” Badobarm - “But it’s true—“ […] - “Nope! Nope!” “LaLaLa! I can’t hear you!” Tuxam - “I presume you’re here for our orders?” “I’ll take the [Food Item #1] and [Drink #1]” […] - “Ah… I almost forgot.” Badobarm - “Then I’ll take the [Food Item#2], and the same drink as him.” […] - “I’ll prepare it 30 minutes tops.”

(“[…]” leaves) (A little time skip because I’m not writing a 30-minute conversation) (Woah...!! It was so moving and uplifting that suddenly 30 minutes passed!!!)

Badobarm - “There are many people in Bad Badtz-Maru Kingdom who are like that—good or bad.” “So, Tuxam! Elevate your expectations to the highest level!” Badobarm - “You have nothing to expect here, only the greatest experience that I can give to you.” Badobarm - “And the food here will be great as well.” Tuxam - “I’m quite sure your statements contradicted each other—but please take care of me!” “I’ll trust you with my life for just today.” Badobarm - “Hahah! You’ve chosen greatly.” Badobarm - “Following me will bring the greatest of fortunes—never a disadvantage!”

(Badobarm receives a forehead fling from the turtle-head assailant.)

[…] - “Keep quiet, you.” […] - “If I can hear you in the kitchen, so will others.” “—(Sigh). The food is prepared.” Badobarm - “That reminds me.” “For a chef, you didn’t even introduce yourself.” […] - “Nnnhhhh…” “But I don’t want to?” Badobarm - “Don’t be lazy.” “Just say your name.” […] - “(Whispers)” Badobarm - “A bit louder.” […] - “(k…)” […] - “(…ae)” […] - “Badobarm… Do I have to?” “People… Y’know?” Badobarm - “Tuxam is a friend of mine.” “He’s a bit… Critical—but if you’re trying your hardest, no matter how bad, even he’ll praise you.” Tuxam - “Hm.” “If you’re too shy to introduce yourself, why not I introduce myself to you?” Tuxam - “I am Tuxam. I came all this way here from Tuxedo Sam Kingdom.” Tuxam - “If you follow my example, even conquering shyness will become easier.” Kae - “I am Kae.” “A chef.” Tuxam - “An excellent introduction.” “I give it a C-.” Kae - “…A grade!?” “Maybe I shouldn’t have introduced myself in the first place…” Badobarm - “But isn't a C- still passing? If you raised your voice, even that could be a B like in Badobarm.” Kae - “If that were the case, I wouldn’t want a B if it meant associating with you.” Badobarm - “Ouch.” Tuxam - “Ahem.” “It only means you have a long way to go. If you talked as you did earlier, and maybe a little more friendlier… I think it would be passing.” Tuxam - “If this were my hometown, it would have been admonished as a D until perfection.” Kae - “…Huh!?” “Are you a tyrant!?” Tuxam - “No!” “Even better—” Tuxam - “A gentleman!”

Badobarm - “That makes me think…” “What exactly is a gentleman to you, Tuxam?” Tuxam - “As his Lord Sam defines it, ‘someone who uplifts and inspires the people around them!’” Badobarm - “(So like an idol?)” Kae - “(An idol…?)” Kae - “I’ll… I’ll take my leave now.” “I don’t want the meal to get cold and mediocre.” Kae - “Please. Enjoy.” Badobarm - “Let’s dig in.”

Tuxam - “Yes!” Tuxam - “…!” Badobarm - “Any thoughts, Tuxam?” Tuxam - “I…It’s good!” “A single bite and I want more…!” Badobarm - “Great!” “Say more as if you’re a food critic—I want Kae to bear the overwhelming end of compliments and praise.” Tuxam - “Then how about this?” “I’ll make sure to write a letter with my full thoughts about the food I had the moment I return home.” Badobarm - “Sounds great.” Badobarm - “(But I get this overwhelming feeling it’ll be more than a single page…)”

Badobarm - “Ah. That’s right. Even the view here is only a glimpse of Bad Badtz-Maru Kingdom.” Badobarm - “There are more between the corners and alleyways.” “I’ll take you to places where no one even knows.” Badobarm - “Full already?” Tuxam - “Finished. The meal was superb.” Badobarm - “I’m glad.” Badobarm - “Take my hand, Tuxam.” “We’ll do the same procedure as we entered.”

Additional Information/Tangents -

Kae (Knight of Fragaria to Lord Kahme) -

An anti-social knight who dreams of opening his own restaurant and desires to cook for his lord every day for breakfast, lunch, brunch, and dinner.

Kae doesn’t appear to understand social and societal norms.

Kae - “I hate Badobarm but I tolerate strangers.” “There’s a difference. and it should be known.”

I wanted to insert this somehow but I couldn't.

I don't know if I'll be able to write the middle portion but it'll basically be Tuxam who asks Badobarm if he can shop clothes for him. Badobarm agrees. I might or might not write it? It depends on my mood, really.

(But I'll probably describe the "mood" of the outfit rather than intently describing the details) (I'm hesitant because I don't want to describe an entire outfit ; w ;)

(if i never finish this, ill probably post the ending portion without tagging)

(I'll likely keep the top half but not the part where badobarm and tuxam buy outfits for each other) (embarrassingly, i have a reason to not consider this...) That One Draft I Have #1 -

if you dont know what quotev is I'm happy for you i know its a silly reason but I can't get it out of mind and it haunts me?? or maybe im just tired?

(the images are related to the concept but are at different points in time) I Really Like This And I Kinda Want To Write a Hangyon-Tuxam Sleepover That Isn't Related To That One Thing I Wrote Draft #2 -

ichi is chip's knight of fragaria, he is dead

Hangyon - “Don’t you remember Tuxam?”

Hangyon - “The night we had together?”

(Tuxam who lightly whacks Hangyon’s head with his ice cream stick)

Tuxam - “Don’t say it in a way that misunderstands others.”

edit 1: sometimes you write something for a month and realize you forgot to detail the setting AND AT THE START OF THE STORY AS WELL so basically: tuxam meets badobarm at his office and then they go out (probably implied well as text but I needed to add necessary detail </3) i already submitted this and i will live with this pain… it’s like early in the morning and i am weak without willpower

[chaoticornot]

9-1-1 chaotic rambles

s08e08 I am a little nervous, but I am every episode so I don't know how much that says.

Oh, this is fake. It's out, omg. The watch party, so fun. Brad is such a baby. Looking at Bobby for help. Eddie, what have you done? Wait Chris mention. The way they are looking at him, help.

She is a shirker. This is not gonna go well. Thank you Athena for putting her in her place. He is funny.

Here we go. They have been talking? He wants to look cool, so badly. The heartbreak in his eyes. This has been going on too long.

Who is she? Hot is the right answer. Brad is a puppy. He is not gonna behave. Medic Eddie, aah. Told you. Chim, unbelievable. Brad fuck off. Oh no. Sassy bobby. Poor team. Thank you, Bobby. Its the truth

He lives, thank god. The poor kid. He knows his stuff.

Eddie trying to be nice for that autograph. He showered because his hair is slicked back again. Slick Eddie, very slick. His uncomfy smile. How do people know his full name? That sound advice, and a bullet to the chest.

The way they understood each other without words. Not the time. The shoulder pat and the cute little wave. Why does Buck look like a cutie patootie and Eddie looks like a cool relaxed guy? This is the make Eddie think guy. Eddie, not the crowd. Never mind, this is gonna be the Brad Torrence is useful call. Bobby's side-eye. This is so cringe, the dramatic ass music, I can't. Their faces, haha, so confused. If they don't keep Oliver's curls for the second half of the season, I will be so mad. Brad no. Haha.

Oh no, I hate this already. The way you can hear the door opening while Eddie is not even close to the door is my favourite bit. Eddie's panic, oh lord, what has he cooked up now? Relapse, my god. Their outfits, love. The way Buck is just going through his kitchen and the only thing Eddie is worried about is Buck seeing his tablet because clearly Buck is not gonna like what is on there. So domestic. He knows him. The smirk, the voice, the teasing, oh my god. This was "wanna go for the title all over again", but with self-control. Fuck no, fuck no, if you do this 9-1-1 ABC, I will murder, Fuck no. Buck's face combined with the dramatic ass music, combined with Eddie's guilty little voice, I can't. 'My son' is so loud. The tension. Omg. The way you can see the gears in Buck's head-turning is incredible. Wait, they are allowed to do this, but only if Buck is like, I am going with duh. We, aaaaaah. Eddie's hair with the purple silky shirt, shut up, slut. Husband core. The way the fear bled from his face, insanity. Oliver, you incredible fucking actor, omg. The blinking with slow realisation, insane. The way you can see him realise what he is doing and then the realisation. OMG, WE ARE GETTING BUDDIE CANON, AAAAAAAAAH!!! I am going insane, declare me unstable. And now I have to wait until March, excuse me.

I knew it was the old guy. Something is weird. Just the cart, never mind. Okay, I didn't expect that. That's a lot. Oh, that is sweet.

That is Eddie, right?? His voice. Wait, they are acting in hotshots aren't they, incredible. So good. I know that hurt him, haha. Chim is so dramatic, I love him. The blue and green nurse outfits. Bobby is like here we go again. Eddie stuffing his face. Bobby's fond smile and tap on Buck's shoulder, he loves them.

I did not expect this to be a very Brad and Athena-focused episode, but I think it was a good way to end the Brad/ Hotshots arc. I don't like Eddie going to Texas. Here is my thing, Chris is allowed to be angry, but Eddie should have never allowed him to leave. Because we don't know what is happening over there, and neither does Eddie. That worries me because I absolutely see the Diaz parents lying to Chris. Besides that, it is clearly not helping Chris or Eddie. I think that if they actually go through with this arc, they are ruining Eddie's character and the growth that he has been through in the past years and also months. I just think that's sad and unnecessary. Like, he fled Texas for a reason. Beyond that, Bobby was the perfect amount of nice and strict, like go, Captain, fantastic.

[rothmorin]

Got tagged by @roboticvenusian for a tag game! Thank you for the tag!

The game is to introduce yourself using one tv show, one movie, one album, and one game. I.. don't consume a lot of media regularly outside of video games so this is gonna be a little wonky, but I'm gonna give it a shot regardless. Will maybe throw in some extras or honorable mentions cause it is hard to narrow each category down to just one. Lessgo!

TV Show - Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood

It's kinda a basic pick, but I can't help that the show is just good. There's also maybe just a touch of nostalgia talking. One of my first anime ever and I love returning to it to rewatch every few years. Super solid story and characters and the themes and philosophy of the show are so compelling. There's a reason almost everyone recommended this as a "starter" anime for such a long time. Honorable mentions to Avatar: The Last Airbender, Lost (yes I know it's ass leave me alone), and The Witcher.

Movie - The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

I know this might be cheating a little but honestly you can't have one without the rest. If I absolutely had to pick one of the three, it'd be Two Towers. And maybe it's the nostalgia talking again, but it feels like they just don't make em like this anymore. Not flawless masterpieces by any means but just incredibly well constructed movies with a compelling plot and good characters. And the amount of artistry that went into the costume designs and the sets is so amazing. Marvel movies could never. It just helps make the trilogy timeless.

Album? - Uhhhh....

I used to listen to music more when I was younger but it was all like.. Christian rock. Then I stopped being religious and switched to almost exclusively listening to video game music. I am doing my best to get back into more contemporary and mainstream music, but I kinda consume it wrong lmao. I kinda just make playlists for my OCs and cherrypick individual songs I randomly find and don't really listen to songs in the context of a full album. As a result I don't really have a favorite album, so here's just two music recommendations I guess. First, the FTL soundtrack is just fantastically vibey and atmospheric and I return to it whenever I just need some ambient sound. And second, I've been getting into the band Good Kid. They have some solid covers and originals and I really like their stuff. It vaguely reminds me of some of the bands I listened to when I was younger but without all the religious stuff

Game - The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask

What can I say? It's peak. From the story, to the characters, to the dungeons, to the items, to the atmosphere, to the soundtrack. Absolute peak Zelda. OoT walked so MM could soar. The genius design of the three day cycle has yet to be recaptured by any game I have played since. The constant building pressure as you run out of time, the bountiful side quests, memorizing important item locations and everyone's routines to optimize your loop and subsequent playthroughs. Superb. It's just amazing that this game exists as it does, especially considering its troubled development. It really deserves more love and its a shame that the 3ds remake wasn't as faithful as it should've been. Honorable mentions to Guilty Gear: Strive for reigniting my current passion for fighting games and Pseudoregalia for being the best 3d platformer I have ever played oh my god please go play it.

Thanks for reading through! This was fun. Hopefully you know a bit more about me if you wanted to. And if you didn't want to... how'd you even make it this far?

I am tagging @wooferdill, @zelder-64, @pillcipher, and whomstever else sees this.

[soul-sparx]

basic idea of gameplay:

it's a tag fighter, choose two characters and swap between them any time, or call the character in the back for a quick assist move

Dark Force and Instinct are basically the same mechanic, so we can just move the Darkstalkers characters' Dark Forces up to the Instinct meter and have it just be a dedicated comeback mechanic. since we're merging them maybe we can call it, like, Dark Instinct or something, idk. Instinct Force. activated exclusively by pressing HP+HK, unlike VSav where it's any two buttons of the same strength

Killer Instinct only lets you hold 2 bars of super (unless you're Omen), and VSav lets you hold (checks notes) fucking 99, so lets find a good middle ground and say you can hold 5 bars in KIvDS.

I also think we should add Ultra Combos and Ultimates. for the uninitiated, Ultra Combos are basically long auto-combos you can do to finish off your opponnent, and Ultimates are extensions of Ultras that basically act as big cinematic supers. Imagine Mortal Kombat's Fatalities, only fun and mechanically satisfying. for fans of KI, saying I'm including Ultras and Ultimates is like saying you're including air dashing in a Guilty Gear game, but listen to me. Think of the ramifications. 13 Darkstalkers characters getting huge, bombastic, cinematic supers. Demitri could enter his demon form and rip you to shreds, Donovan could summon the spirits of Ice, Flame, and Lighting all at once, Lord Raptor could play a riff so hard that you explode, like literally it could be so fucking sick

as for more specific moment-to-moment mechanics, as much as I love VSav, i feel like KI's unique combo system is too deeply ingrained and complex to simply relegate to a selectable ISM or Groove. we can still sprinkle in things from Darkstalkers though-- we've already merged Dark Force and Instinct, but we could also have red health regenerate back if you go long enough without getting hit, and KI may already have its own take on the Alpha Counter, but VSav's Guard Cancels and Tech Hits are too iconic as defensive tools, so the KI side can keep its combo breakers, and maybe even counter breakers, but Darkstalkers is giving us more good options for when you're actually blocking. maybe give Guard Cancelling a new input tho, DP while in blockstun is a little much. i'd be satisfied with a Street Fighter Style 6MPMK

i dont know how graphic design so i'm gonna post my Darkstalkers vs. Killer Instinct fan roster in text and you're going to look at it and you're going to LIKE IT

DARKSTALKERS SIDE

Morrigan

Demitri

Donovan

Talbain

Felicia

Lord Raptor

Hsien-Ko

B.B. Hood

Q-Bee

Victor

Bishamon

Pyron (Subboss)

Jedah (Boss)

KILLER INSTINCT SIDE

Jago

Fulgore

Spinal

Hisako

Riptor

Sabrewulf

Orchid

Thunder

Aganos

Sadira

Glacius

Omen (Subboss)

Gargos (Boss)

[weeniebagel]

Wanna get into fighting games? Can't really afford 'em? No problem.

I've seen a recent increase in the genre's popularity on Tumblr thanks to Guilty Gear: Strive (namely Bridget's reveal), but I've seen folks show concern for the genre's cost. While Strive may be outside of folks price range, that doesn't mean there aren't free or cheap entry points to the genre. (Every game listed below is easy to run on low end PC's, so don't worry if you're playing on a potato. Just remember to use an ethernet cable for the best possible connection!)

Melty Blood: Actress Again Current Code (MBAACC) has a unique reputation for its underground scene and playerbase, as well as its dynamic roster of 31 characters (each with 3 distinct versions, producing an effective roster of 93 characters). It's fast paced and has a simple control scheme and plays fairly similarly to the latest entry in the series, Melty Blood: Type Lumina. The best part is that it's absolutely free with rollback netcode thanks to efforts of the fanbase in the making of community edition. It's also where Neco Arc was first made playable, so if you find posts about her amusing, you can play her for 15 minutes and then move onto a real character.

If you're not as interested in something less "anime" and want to try old arcade classics, then I can't recommend Fightcade more. Arcade emulator that lets you play online with anyone in the world with a solid connection thanks to rollback netcode. Classics such as Street Fighter III: Third Strike, King of Fighters '98, Vampire Savior: The Lord of Vampire (Darkstalkers 3, in the US), and many, many more are all available. Hell, you can even play non fighting games such as Metal Slug on it, too! Of course, it's just an emulator, so you'll have to acquire roms yourself somehow, but that's a legally gray area. Fightcade does not give you any roms, so it's legal. Sure would be convenient if there was some sort of extension that automatically grabbed game roms for you the instant you joined a fightcade lobby, though.

If you're willing to drop a few bucks, then Steam isn't devoid of any good deals. Guilty Gear XX Accent Core +R (colloquially known as +R) is often on sale for just $3, and is a beloved entry in the Gear franchise. It's the game where Strive favorites Bridget, Testament, and Anji were last playable in, and maintain their original toolkits and playstyles. Not only that, but the game has some absolutely fantastic rollback netcode now! While it may be daunting at first, you'll find that most characters simplest bread and butter combos are easy and consistent. Low floor, high ceiling type of game.

Another game often available for cheap on Steam with great netcode is The King of Fighters 2002 UM. KOF is a very popular series in Latin America and East Asia, but never really exploded in the US. Recent series entry KOFXV has made an impact, and it plays like many previous entries. '02 UM has a large roster of fantastic characters to build a team around. Pick 3 of your favorites and jump right in!

A game you may already have (and not even know you do) Is Skullgirls. The game's often dirt cheap during sales, and has been included in more Humble Bundle's than any other game in the genre. Flexible, easy to learn systems, combined with a lovable roster of distinct characters gives you one of the best indie games ever made (and, personally, the best American made fighting game). Plus, after nearly a decade, the game is getting new characters again! There's never been a better time to start playing Skullgirls.

Ultimately, the best game to play to get into the genre is the game you want to play in the first place. If you want to get into Strive, there's no better game to play than Strive. Same with any Street Fighter, Skullgirls, Melty Blood, etc. Don't let the high level players scare you, there's always going to be fellow new bloods to play against. Check your game's wiki to find relative socials such as a community Discord, many of which have focused beginner tournaments and play nights to meet new people around your skill level. Don't be afraid to ask questions! You'll get answers and feedback from more experienced and friendly players.

Also, small note, use whatever controller you're most comfortable with. Keyboard and gamepad are perfectly fine. You don't need to buy a $200+ fightstick. While they can be fun, they're an investment often not worth making. Many of high level players such as SonicFox use a gamepad exclusively for every game they play. Go do you.

[astaroth1357]

The Obey Me Cast on a Camping Trip (Part Two: The Undateables)

This post is split in two due to length (I had too much fun again…) For the Brothers, please click HERE!

Intro:

Another day, another team building activity between the demons and the exchange students. It was Diavolo’s idea to go on a camping trip to the human world (because of course it was), and there were very… mixed responses. That sentiment wasn’t helped when he refused Lucifer’s insistent pleas to just purchase cabins for everyone to stay in. Oh no, the Demon Lord wanted to rough it out in the wilderness, and now everyone else was getting dragged along with him…

Wonder how that turned out?

Diavolo

He was soooo excited to get to experience camping! He had been asking the MC about human camping trips for about a week before making the announcement and he was pumped!!

Barbatos chauffeured him to the campsite in his own car (of course) but he insisted on taking every roadside, touristy stop they came across which doubled the drive time considerably…

He wanted to help everybody set up the camp but Barbatos and Lucifer were having none of it… So he took pictures and offered moral support instead! Good work everyone! 😁

He had his own tent about the size of a small house (ngl it took Barbs and Lucifer about a half hour to set the whole thing up). Barbs even somehow managed to pack a collapsible desk in there for him so he could still work… greeeat…. 🙄

Diavolo wanted to try everything. Literally everything. The man even traded his uniform out for full on outdoors gear, right down to one of those floppy fishing hats with the tackle stuck to it.

Politely insistently asks that Lucifer does things with him. The MC could come along as well (and in many cases Luci begs them to do so) but he wants to get some bonding time in with his best friend!

Unfortunately for Lucifer, Diavolo would get sidetracked quite a lot… Which is how he ended up having to physically steer his Lord out of harm's way more than once…

At one point while hiking, Diavolo was so distracted by taking pictures that he nearly walked right into the path of a passing bear and her cubs. Lucifer had to tackle him down into some bushes until they went away... His brothers teased him mercilessly when they heard about...

Dia also loved the camping food quite a bit. He's never gotten the chance to cook his own food before, even if it's just marshmallows over a fire, so it was all a brand new experience for him! S'mores are now declared a human world delicacy.

Man had the time of his life! He'd love to do it again, hell, maybe even make it a yearly event! (Few of the brothers share his sentiment, but hey, it pays to be King 😏)

Barbatos

If his Lord orders it, then he follows. He'll just have to double check that everyone is prepared for the occasion…

Drove Diavolo there with the patience of a saint (while also, like, being the exact opposite of that). Had it been anyone else in the car, they might have told him, "No, we can't stop for pictures of every moose you see," but Barbs is as accommodating as he is loyal.

It was pretty much all on his shoulders to direct the others when setting up camp. Lucifer would claim it was his, but let’s be completely honest here, Lucifer can't order Barbs to do shit. 

Naturally, he had his own tent close to his Lord, more modest in comparison, but big enough to hold a majority of the belongings and gear Diavolo had requested.

He also managed to bring a almost fully functioning kitchen setup for him using magic, minus a working oven by Diavolo's instruction. If he wanted a heat source, he had to use the campfire and he found the challenge intriguing…

For once in his extended life, Barbs had to do some trial and error in the kitchen. As it would turn out, fireside cooking can be a little difficult to master, but by the end of the trip he could still somehow dish out four course meals without so much as a sweat (according to the MC the secret was tinfoil and cast-iron cookware… who knew?)

When he isn’t prepping their next meal (which let’s be honest, with Beel on the trip that’s a constant activity) he’s guarding the food from Beel and Solomon…

The sorcerer wanted to help, but Barbs has already learned the hard way that if he so much as pokes a dish its flavor is ruined… It’s enough to make him wonder if it was a curse laid on him at some point…

Watching Barbatos deny Solomon becomes a pretty funny routine in and of itself. He’s not above just smacking the man’s hand away with a wooden spoon if it gets too close. Barbs doesn’t play in his kitchen. Back off. 😠

Barbatos is happy with the trip so long as the young Lord enjoyed himself. If that’s the case, and it was, then he’d happily do it again if asked… not that he’d have much of a choice anyway.

Simeon

Simeon was familiar with the concept of camping, he’d written about it in his stories, but he’d never actually done it himself… He had hoped it'd be an interesting experience! And uh… it was that from the very start… 

Purgatory Hall got its own car and Solomon was put in charge of driving… But no one mentioned that he drives like a complete maniac. Speed limits, stoplights, even the ROAD ITSELF be damned. Solomon drives in a straight line from point A to point B and if there’s anything in the way he’ll just use magic to get around it…

It’s safe to say that by the time he and the others got to the campsite (which was significantly quicker than the rest) the angels weren’t in the emotional state to pitch tents… He and Luke just waited for the others to catch up while praying and praising the solid ground beneath their feet…

He shared his tent with Luke and didn’t mind at all. It was probably for the best anyway because the little angel was scared of human world predators like bears and wolves coming for him in the night… Poor boy…

Simeon took to hiking quite a bit. Going out and exploring the area around the campsite made him feel invigorated! The forests were beautiful and it gave him ideas for a bit of a guilty pleasure he's been debating on writing, "The Tale of the Lonely Prince." 🤭

It was on one of those trips that Simeon discovered human world creatures love him. Pretty much all of the wildlife gravitates towards him like he's a Disney Princess.

At one point he came back to camp riding on a moose with birds chirping on his new friend's antlers. He offered to take the MC out for a ride, but the brothers threw a fit about it…

He WAS able to get a couple more wrangled for Diavolo, who naturally dragged Lucifer along (though he clearly didn't want to touch the thing). 

The three ended up getting into a mooseback race because Diavolo wouldn't let Lucifer take the lead. He was glad to see Luci enjoy himself for a change! (It helped a lot that he won of course 🙄😏)

All and all, Simeon had a great time. Maybe he should ask the MC to show him more human places… But he's never getting in a car again. Pardon his language, but fuck those things!!!

Luke

He doesn't know what's worse… being out in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of demons or the absolute insanity that was the "drive" down… 😣

He spent the entirety of Solomon's Magical Ride of Nightmares clinging to Simeon or the armrests for dear life. He swore his entire life flashed before his eyes, can angels even have heart attacks???

Stayed right next to Simeon when they finally pulled themselves together enough to leave the car. He was so happy that Michael didn't see any of that… Who knew human transportation was so horrifying…???

His saving grace (literally) was getting to share his tent with Simeon… After Solomon told him that bears sometimes get curious and ransacked campsites, he clung onto the older angel like a protective charm.

...Whiiiich he wasn't too off about actually after he saw Simeon playing (yes PLAYING) with the human wildlife… Simeon had to introduce him to some of the nicer animals for him to eventually get over his fear and venture out past the campsite.

Luke loved to swim in the lake or river with MC and the others. The MC found a sturdy branch where they set up a rope swing and the little guy amused himself for hours!

Sometimes he'd watch Barbatos prep and cook using the campfire… He didn't even know you could make lasagna in a Dutch oven…

At one point the MC convinced him to go with them and the twins on a particularly long hike…

He got tired halfway through and Beel offered him a piggyback ride, but of course he'd NEVER let himself be that close to a demon!! (Just kidding, poor boy was so tired he climbed onto Beel's back and held on the a kola until they got back. Then he jumped off to save face)

He had a better time than he thought he would, but still doesn't want to go camping with demons ever again. (He and Simeon also begged Lucifer to drive them back instead of Solomon so the brothers' van was pretty much a clown car on the return trip).

Solomon

Solomon hasn't been camping (for enjoyment) in quite a while, so when the prospect came up to do it with the MC and the other students he was intrigued...

When Simeon asked he knew how to drive, he said yes. He knows how to start a car, put it into motion, steer, and then come to a stop. That's all driving is really. 🤷‍♀️ You can't blame him for not memorizing all the rules, he's been traveling by portal for decades!

Was pretty confused why his angel friends fled the car so quickly... He got them there in one piece, after all. 😕🤷‍♀️ He put up their tents himself since they were too busy thanking their father then made a magic barrier around the site for protection purposes.

He and the MC both have their own tents, of course his is enchanted to be a lot bigger on the inside than it is on the outside, but he's only let the MC in on that little secret in case they want to visit… 😏

When everyone else finally arrived, Solomon was happy to help the MC introduce the wonders of the human wilderness to their companions! Including the breathtaking vistas, beautiful flora, bitter temperatures, man-eating predators, waters filled with disease… Hm? Oh, Luke won't leave the tent now…? Whoopsie.

Solomon kept himself occupied on the trip the best way he knew how… relentless trolling (particularly of Asmo and Barbs because they're used to his shit).

He'd alternate between poking fun at Asmo for the almost ritual length routines he was going through to try and save his looks to genuinely trying to encourage him and downplay the severity of the downgrade...

Meanwhile he was bound and determined to serve at least one of his own dishes during the trip (but Barbatos had banned him from the "kitchen," the food tent, and even the spoons...)

Diavolo, nice guy that he is, eventually made Barbs relent and let Solomon cook for ONE night… It went as well as to be expected. (They sent Solomon to grab more supplies then everybody took turns washing their mouths out with lake water... Diavolo apologized profusely, he had no idea...).

Solomon was confused why the angels would rather squeeze themselves in with the brothers than ride with him back but he wasn’t upset about it. That meant he could make a few extra stops without anyone complaining! He knows a guy in New Orleans he’s been meaning to see again… Luke and Simeon can wait a little for their stuff, right?

Click HERE for Part One. Check out my Masterlist for more!

[teruthecreator]

sweet surprises

lord forgive me for the cringe i’m about to post. i fully blame this post and this post for planting the seeds of berdley having a crush on kris in my brain. also shouts out to izel for listening to me go insane at 3 AM about this. 

anyways, here’s a thing. 

______________________________________________________________

Excitement is in the air.

Unlike the usual calm monotony of life at school, things recently have been quite...electric. Not because of the portal to the Dark World hidden behind the door of the closet, or the adventures had by a select group of students through the portal in the Librarby a few days ago. No, this isn’t about that.

This is about the Sadie Hawkman’s Dance. The once-a-year phenomenon where the school puts on its best interpretation of a formal dance for the incredibly small number of students who attend class. Students buzz in excitement for the event, preparing their most formal outfits and getting ready to dazzle their friends and fellow classmates with their dramatic entrances into the auditorium.

And, of course, there’s the all important ritual of asking someone to the dance.

There’s already been a few proposals made this week. Jockington rolled into class like a hula hoop and asked Catti to be his “best bro” for the dance, to which she happily agreed. (And by that, I mean she looked up from her phone, smiled, said not a single word, and went back to typing.) Temmie loudly announced to the class that she would be taking her egg, which was somehow...embarrassed that she mentioned it. And, of course, Noelle finally managed to work up enough courage to ask Susie to the dance. It was done in an incredible display of candy canes that spelled out the phrase: “CAN(E) YOU BE MY DATE TO THE DANCE?” Unfortunately, Susie was about halfway through scarfing the display down before she realized what it said. She then began choking on one of the candy canes out of disbelief, which wound her in the nurse for the rest of the day. But, when she could speak again, she very quietly agreed to Noelle’s proposal (and, if you happened to be a fly on the wall in that room, you could hear a tail thump rhythmically against the doctor’s bench as she did so).

Kris was pleased with everything. They were happy to see their friends so happy together. A long time coming, if you asked them. And they’d be just as happy attending the dance solo, since they’ll undoubtedly be dragged along by Susie. They’d never gone to the dance before--never had a reason to, truth be told. But with their newfound friends, they may just enjoy being a wingman for the night.

...Speaking of wingmen, Berdly will probably be going solo as well. Unsurprising, but Kris makes a mental note to ensure the bird will be in attendance. As much as he is kind of a lot sometimes, he’s their friend. And Kris is going to make sure all of their friends are having fun at that dance!

They walk into class thinking of this (surprisingly early, for a change), which is why they almost miss the massive display sitting boldly atop their desk. They freeze the instant it catches their eye and, for a second, they almost believe it isn’t real. Like some leftover thoughts of the Dark World lingering in their vision. But, after wiping their eyes and seeing that it’s still there, they decide to approach and...investigate.

The display is expertly crafted by someone who clearly knows their way around a glue gun. It is a heart-shaped arch that is decorated with a myriad of printed illustrations of Super Smashing Fighters Melee characters, all having cut-outs to hold different bars of chocolate. There are also numerous origami hearts glued around the characters on the arch, in colors spanning across the rainbow. The arch is painted in swirls of blues, pinks, and reds and covered with a border of glitter that sprinkles onto the desk when Kris reaches out to pluck a chocolate bar from its perch. On the desk itself is a big origami heart that says “TO KRIS” in gold calligraphy. It is by far one of the coolest, nicest, cheesiest things Kris has ever seen.

They look up from the display to see if anyone else is seeing this shit, and that’s when it all clicks.

Because sitting at the front of the classroom, fidgeting way more than normal, is Berdly. He keeps interlocking his ankles underneath his desk before unlocking them and kicking the air, turning around every half-second or so to try and catch Kris’s reaction. From the brief moments Kris can see the front of him, they notice he’s not in his usual white collared shirt and black khaki shorts. Instead, his shirt is buttoned all the way up, with a nice blue bowtie tied around his neck. He also traded out his khaki shorts for a pair of dress pants that look to be a tad too long for his legs. He keeps reaching up to smooth out the feathers on his head, which immediately stick back up from stress.

Now, Kris may be a straight B student, but they’re not stupid. Context clues are a very good thing, and all signs point to Berdly as the culprit of this public display of...affection?

Beyond Berdly is Ms. Alphys at her desk, who shoots Kris a look of deep understanding and maybe...guilt? She looks at Berdly for a split second and shrugs her shoulders, indicating he was probably in here long before she was and so she had no way of stopping him from leaving it there.

Kris looks back down at the display and picks up the large origami heart. As they begin to unfold it, they see a sprawling letter written in the same flashy calligraphy. Kris squints at the letters--they’re dyslexic, so everything kind of just looks like spaghetti on paper. Still, they’re able to make out the largely printed question of “WILL YOU GO TO THE DANCE WITH ME?” with no issue.

Huh, guess they won’t be going to the dance alone after all…? It’s a little confusing as to why Berdly would want to go with them, though. Like, they’ve hung out a little bit--usually whenever Berdly wanted a “worthy rival” to play video games with, he would come over and Kris would whoop his ass for a few hours. And, of course, there were the recent events in the Cyber World; but Kris is pretty sure them and Susie had thoroughly convinced Noelle and Berdley that that was all a dream. So, why them?

They’re lost in this train of thought for so long that they don’t even notice the other kids enter the room until they suddenly hear:

“Yo, Kris???????? What the heck is this thing????” Susie’s voice doesn’t startle them, but it is loud enough to get them to look up. Susie is standing next to their desk, looking at the display with genuine amazement thinly masked by disgust. She’s also loud enough to basically stop the whole class (who were all muttering amongst themselves about it anyway), which gives Kris only a second to gaze around the room before--

SLAM!

The door to the classroom slams shut, leaving one seat unoccupied.

Berdley’s.

“This thing’s got chocolate on it????” Susie continues to marvel at the display while Kris looks at the door, frowning. They feel...bad. It isn’t Berdley’s fault for trying to fit in with the other kids' proposals; he admitted to feeling like he needs to do more just to stand out enough for people to acknowledge him back in the Dark World. And this thing is really...thoughtful! The characters are all ones Kris typically mains, or ones they know Berdley mains, which means he remembers things about Kris. And the chocolate is a given, but it is nice to be able to stock their personal snack stash with some fancy stuff. Ultimately, it’s very sweet, and Kris can’t help but feel a little guilty for not saying anything immediately.

They turn and lock eyes with Ms. Alphys, who looks extremely out-of-depth with this situation. She makes a number of gestures from them to the door in a flustered way of saying I have absolutely no idea what the hell is going on please help me Kris I know I’m asking a lot of you but I don’t know how to deal with teenage angst I’m like thirty-five. They sigh, standing up and walking past Susie (but not before giving her a stare that warns her if a single chocolate bar is gone that they will be holding that over her until the day she dies) and following Berdly out the door.

It doesn’t take Kris very long to follow the trail of labored breathing to where Berdley is--in the abandoned classroom, hyperventilating as he teeters on a breakdown. Luckily, when Kris opens the door, it seems to put a halt to his spiralling because he just kind of...freezes. Like a deer caught in headlights. Or a Berdley caught in Kris-lights. Kris takes this moment to let the door shut behind them, trapping the two in here. Together.

“U-Uhhhhh, hi--he--Um. H-Hello, K-Kris…” Berdly attempts to put on his usual bravado, but his voice betrays him brutally by squeaking and cracking on every syllable. Kris can’t help the smile that comes to their face.

“Uh, hey,” they reply with a wave. Berdley continues to stand there and stare (almost like he wasn’t expecting Kris to care enough to follow him) before the present circumstances return to his mind and he begins breathing hard again.

“I-I-I-I, uh...I was. Um. J-Just, uh. G-Getting some fresh air! Y-Yes! The classroom can be s-so stuffy sometimes, I’m sure y-you--you, uh...you agree?” Berdley makes a valiant attempt at hiding his panic, which Kris almost takes pity on. But they don’t think the monster will feel any better if they just pretend what happened back there never happened.

“Yeah. I liked the display.” Kris says simply. Berdley stands stock-straight at that, looking even worse for wear in the “being normal and completely cool” department.

“O-Oh??????? That ol’ thing????? I, um--well I just--y-you see, I--uh. Um,” You can really hear the gears in his head turning as he attempts to come up with an excuse. “I-I-I just thought you w-would appreciate the craftsmanship of!!! A t-true artisan, such as myself!!! So, I!!! M-Made it!!! COMPLETELY PLATONICALLY, OF COURSE!!!! I-I would never imply that my intentions w-were anything other than for bro-sies, i--You didn’t read that whole card, did you?”

“I can’t read,” They mean this as a joke, but they can see Berdley seriously consider this for a second too long. “Dude, I’m dsylexic. I can’t really read cursive…” Berdley freezes up once more, which makes Kris realize they haven’t really projected that as loudly as they might’ve thought.

“Oh! Right! How could I forget! That you’re! Dsylexic!” Berdley’s smile is stapled to his face as he begins to rhythmically knock on his head. “And I! Wrote! That! Entire! Note! In! Cursive! Which! You! Can’t! Read!!!” Kris steps forward in an attempt to keep Berdley from bashing his own skull in, but that only makes Berdley more tense, so they take a step back. “I-I just--The note isn’t important! None of it’s important actually can we forget this interaction ever happened okay? Okay yes that’s great have a wonderful day Kris I will be returning home to sitinmyroomandneverreturntothecorporealrealmalrightgoodbyeforeverKris--” He attempts to sidestep around Kris and out the door, but is very easily intercepted.

“Stop.” Kris grabs him by the shoulders, which seems to shut him up for a second. “Can you just tell me what’s wrong?” Berdley gapes at them as his face steadily grows redder, which makes Kris feel as if there’s something on their face. But he quickly shakes it off, going from completely neurotic to...dejected.

“I just…” He starts, trailing off immediately. “You deserve to have a big proposal, same as everyone else. I-I see you in the back of the class, just...watching. And I, uh, felt it was time to...give you the spotlight! But that was silly of me, wasn’t it?” He looks off to the side at the floor, smiling sadly. “After all, who’d want to go to the dance with me…? I-I’m alone every year, standing in the background. Just kind of...taking it all in...and th-thinking about how it’d be...nice to be a part of it. But that’s...not probable. It was just nice to think about taking you to the dance because you’re--well, you’re nice to me, and you’re funny, and you actually listen to me when I’m talking, an-and you’re a good person and an incredible gaming legend...but I shouldn’t have put it all on you in front of everyone...I’m. I’m sorry, Kris.” He won’t make eye contact with the human, but Kris can still see the tears collecting in his eyes.

“Berdley, that’s stupid.” Kris says, which Berdley cringes at, “Why wouldn’t I wanna go with you?” That part is...not what Berdley was expecting. He looks up at Kris, unsure of where to go from here.

“U-Um…? Because of all the previously stated things? Like me being a complete loser who nobody likes?”

“I like you,” Kris replies immediately, leaving Berdley’s feathers sticking straight up as he flusters. “And I like your display. It’s...really sweet.”

“E-Even if you can’t read the note?” Berdley’s voice cracks.

“I mean, I could read the: WILL YOU GO WITH ME TO THE DANCE part, so, like. Yeah.” Kris shrugs. “Plus, you got me chocolate. Nice chocolate. Nobody...gets me things like that.” They smile, a light dusting of blush across their face. “I’ll go with you.” Berdley’s entire body seizes up for the third time, eyes wide and mouth agape.

“W-W-w-W-w-w-w-w-W-W-W-w-w-w-Wh-Wha-wh-w-w-wha-wha-w-wh-Wh-Wha-wh-Wha-wha-w-w-W-W-W--” Berdley continues to struggle with the word “what” for a solid minute and a half before he’s finally about to manage a: “What?!” Kris can’t help but laugh.

“I said that, Berdley,” at this, they move their grip from his shoulders to his hands, “I will go to the Sadie Hawkman’s dance with you.”

The circuits in Berdley’s brain struggle with this frequency for an extended moment before his face erupts in the giddiest smile Kris has ever seen the bird monster sport. He even begins to jump up and down, taking Kris along with him, as he cackles. It is a surprisingly cute display that Kris finds themselves blushing a bit at. It’s nice to be this...cared about.

“I-I--We have to start thinking of outfits immediately!” Berdley blurts out, returning to their usual demeanor. “I was thinking of some complimentary color schemes on the way to school today which I will be happy to show you at lunchtime. I’m also a master with a sewing machine, so if you are unable to procure an outfit that meets the color requirements, I would be delighted to take your measurements and--w-wait, don’t read into that phrasing, I just m-meant that I could make an outfit for you! B-But I’d need your measurements, and--Oh, goodness, hasn’t class started already, Kris?! We should head back, but--” He looks from the door to Kris and back again a few times before finally settling on something.

“I’lltalktoyouaboutthislaterseeyouinclassKris!!!!!” He says this right before he gives Kris a solitary peck on the cheek before bolting out of the abandoned classroom, leaving Kris blinking at the Berdley-shaped cloud he left behind. Their hand gently grazes the spot on their cheek--luckily not actually pecked by his beak, but more of a quick-kiss kind of peck--and feel their heart skip a beat.

Huh.

That’s...different.

They elect to not dwell on that feeling any longer and head back to class. They have to make sure Susie hasn’t eaten all of the chocolate on that display.

They wouldn’t want to make Berdley go through the trouble of re-proposing  just so they could rightfully claim their other sweet surprise.

[20rubixcubes]

enhypen as baristas

maknae line x gn!reader (comedy, fluff, mild angst)

~1.2k words ea (headcanons)

warnings: cursing

a/n: i just wrote this for funsies, please be mindful that there is heavy swearing in these headcanons (particularly in ni-ki’s part), so if that isn’t your taste, perhaps skip this one! other than that, the rest of this is pretty chill, so i hope you enjoy my shitposting. oh, and lmk if you like this enough to want part two with the hyung line 👀 just maybe i’ll do it

sunoo

was only recently employed as an afternoon shift employee and was both shocked and distressed after discovering the cafe didnt have an instagram

“what do you MEAN you dont have instagram??? how do we post selfies???” “sunoo we sell coffee” “NO ONE WANTS COFFEE JUNGWON THEY WANT CUTE BARISTAS”

starts an instagram for the cafe and takes aesthetic pictures of his latte art

his selfies get way more likes though

speaking of his latte art, he masters the skill like a week in and everyone else is incredibly jealous

their jealousy wears off when jungwon tells him that he has to start training the new apprentices

pretends he forgot how to do it for like a week but it hurts his pride so he begrudgingly agrees to train the apprentices instead

in his free time he can be found snapping pictures around the shop, eventually expanding to taking pictures of the others too

“sunghoon stop moving you look cute and i need to take a photo” “sunoo im holding hot milk” “does it look like i care beauty is pain sweetie”

other than that, he sometimes sits in the booths to snack on muffins and do his homework since he only comes in to the shop for about an hour during his school lunch break and on the weekends

you meet sunoo after applying for an apprenticeship, wanting to get a job before you finish high school and start college

seen as though jungwon looks like the boss, you approach him, nervous for your first shift

“i’m here for the apprenticeship program?” “oh yeah! one second!”

he trots off to the back room, leaving you standing awkwardly in the middle of the cafe

“SUNOO GET OFF JAY YOU HAVE AN APPRENTICE TO TRAIN” “*gasp* YOU MADE ME SMUDGE HIS LIPSTICK I'M QUITTING” “NO YOURE NOT GET OUT THERE RIGHT NOW”

the yelling pauses before who you presume is sunoo stomps through the back room door, a scowl on his face

he spots you, groaning loudly “are you the apprentice?”

“yes” you say meekly, guilty for seeming to ruin his shift

he gestures you to follow him behind the counter, pulling an apron out from under the sink and shoving it to your chest

its clear that hes pissed, yanking his tools out from the cupboards as you tie your apron behind your back quietly

“have you made coffee before?” “only instant coffee” “oh fantastic”

he seems to be getting more irritated by the minute before he takes a deep breath and starts directing you around the machines

“to do the art, you angle the mug like this and draw with the milk, but it wont show until it reaches the top so dont go crazy”

as if its nothing, he demonstrates by drawing a perfect swan in the milk, setting the latte down and dusting his hands off

“wow… thats amazing” “i know right? no one here appreciates me enough” “they should! this is the best i’ve ever seen”

he grins at your compliment, nodding with satisfaction and sending a wave of relief over you as you notice he looks less angry with you now

“um… im sorry if i interrupted whatever you were doing before” “oh, that? i was just doing jay’s makeup” “you like makeup? me too! i’ve never seen a boy interested in it though, thats really cool” you smile genuinely at him as he blinks in surprise

“really? you think its cool?” “definitely!”

you watch the gears turn in his head before he smiles widely, seeming to have come to some kind of revelation as he nods

“i like you.”

your cheeks heat up immediately, but before you can say anything in return, he starts calling out for jungwon, leaning over the counter

“JUNGWOOON, CAN WE HAVE THIS ONE?”

“well thats up to them” he looks up from the table hes wiping down, adjusting his apron as he walks over to the counter

“so youre all finished with the course? i hope sunoo wasnt too much for you”

“i wasnt! anyways, youre employed, okay?” “sunoo stop theyre just an apprentice”

he groans loudly, irritated once more as he whips his head to you

“you have to work here, ok? i said so, so come back and apply or i’ll be mad!”

you laugh at his antics and smile “i’ll see what i can do”

after jungwon pries sunoo off of your arm, you return your apron and leave the shop with a wave

“YOU BETTER COME BACK!” is the last thing you hear as you step out onto the street, the bell ringing to signal your exit

a week later, you return to the shop, slightly anxious that your new friend(?) might have forgotten about you

but this is quickly washed away when you hear a high pitched squeal from the counter

“JUNGWON! HURRY THE FUCK UP AND GET THE FORMS THEYRE HERE”

you laugh as you approach the counter, a teasing tone on your voice

“are you supposed to be talking to your boss like that?” “whats he gonna do? fire me? im the only one who can make coffee in this place” “true”

soon enough, jungwon comes out of his hiding place, his hands clasped together

“im really sorry to ask this but please, you have to work here, sunoo hasnt shut up about you all week and i dont know if i can stand him anymore, i’ll even pay you extra please dear god”

you give sunoo a look, only receiving an innocent smile and puppy eyes back

“sure, i’ll take the job!”

jungwon sighs in relief as sunoo begins jumping up and down, yelling something about having his own little baby to take care around the shop as you groan, covering your blushing face

once you have your hours established (sunoo made you take the same as all of his, but you did the nights instead of the afternoons on the weekends, to his displeasure), you get straight to working

… well, sort of

it was hard to get work done with sunoo pestering you around the clock

“you think im cute right?” “yes sunoo” “even though i have bags under my eyes? “yes sunoo” “you promise?” “yes sunoo” “good”

admittedly he is slightly of help when it comes to the more fiddly parts of making coffee, but every other second of the day he seems to be flirting nonstop

“can i kiss you?” “no” “why not” “sunoo we’ve been over this” “BEING AT WORK ISNT A VALID EXCUSE”

worn down after his incessant yelling all day, you find yourself snapping faster than usual

“we’re not even dating, sunoo! why would i kiss you!? just stop playing with my feelings already!”

for the first time since you’ve known him, sunoo goes quiet

“why not?”

“what are you talking about now sunoo?” “why arent we dating”

now its your turn to go quiet

“do you not like me?” “what? no, sunoo-” before you can reason with him, you watch him quickly rush away from you around the counter, slamming the break room door behind him with tears in his eyes

cursing to yourself, you ensure there are no customers to serve before quickly darting after him

after looking around a bit, you hear sniffling from the supply closet and knock on the door quietly

“sunoo?” “leave me alone!”

you sigh, taking a step back and turning on your heel to face the opposite direction, running a hand through your hair as you think

you spot a dog bed at your feet, suddenly remembering that jake usually keeps his dog supplies covered in dog hair in the closet

“sunoo arent you allergic to dogs?”

“... *sniffle* y-yeah”

after you persuade him to come out by mentioning that his face is going to get all puffy, he steps out, eyes glued to the floor as he looks away from you in shame

placing a hand on his shoulder, you speak to him softly

“sunoo, look at me”

he does, hesitantly, his eyes red and watery and, as you said, puffy and inflamed

despite this, you smile

“i do like you back”

his eyes start watering again, your heart skipping a beat in fear that you had said something wrong

“e-even if my face is all puffy and gross?” his voice wobbles, the tears filling his eyes giving him a sense of vulnerability as you sigh

“yes, even if your face is all puffy and gross”

he smiles at that, shutting his eyes cutely as you press a kiss to his cheek

“and theres your kiss”

he whines “i was supposed to do that!”

“you can do it after we finish work, okay?” “WORK STILL ISNT A VALID EXCUSE…. but maybe today just because i need to ice my face” “yeah you really should, can you even see?” “no not at all” “great”

jungwon

the previous manager left suddenly and jungwon was given a semi-forced promotion as he was the only employee with at least half of a brain cell

poor boy is stressed 24/7

doesnt get paid enough for this

“hey jungwon we ran out out of coffee bea-” “I ORDERED NEW ONES FOUR HOURS AGO NOW SHUT UP IM TRYING TO MAKE SURE THE BOSS DOESNT FIND JAKE’S DOG SHELTER IN THE SUPPLY CLOSET”

goes through hell every day just to make sure the others dont burn the cafe down

is supposed to be on the morning shift but he stays until the afternoon

in his rare moments of downtime, he likes to go around and water the hanging plants around the shop

is that one vine where the mom listens to nicki minaj for the first time and screams “no” over and over whenever ni-ki gets control of the cafe music

“RIKI NISHIMURA WHAT IS THAT ON THE SPEAKERS” “ITS OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR ARIANA GRANDE” “TURN IT OFF THIS IS NOT PG13” “SHUT THE FUCK UP GRANDPA”

is only 16 but acts like a 32-year-old father going through a midlife crisis

lifts boxes of supplies all day yet his joints are famously brittle

“hey jungwon did you hear glass shattering too?” “sorry jay that was my back” “you need to invest in physical therapy” “maybe if i wasnt paying for property damage every other week 😊”

you meet jungwon when you drop into the cafe for a croissant and a coffee before your class starts

usually you come at night maybe an hour before closing so you had never seen him before, but here you were watching this cute but clearly stressed boy scramble around the shop carrying boxes of supplies to the back

trying not to be creepy, you sigh, turning back to your phone after watching him for a solid five minutes straight

as you do, you hear a crash coming from what you assume is the supply closet followed by a disgruntled groan

pausing, looking around at the other customers typing away at their laptops and waiting for another staff member to go check on the boy, you stand up as you discern that he must be the only one working and hesitantly go to see if he’s okay

“hello? are you okay?” you peer through the door, your eyes widening at the sight of him rubbing his head with a wince on his features, supplies strewn around him at his feet and a box knocked over beside him

“ah… um, yes, i’m okay, sorry if i disturbed you with that noise…” he smiles bashfully, pulling himself back onto his feet

“do you need help with all of that stuff?”

he opens his mouth to protest, not wanting to have to ask for help from a customer, but after seeing the amount of crap off of the shelves, he realises that there is no way in hell he’s going to be able to clean all of it up alone before his shift ends

“um… is that okay?” his cheeks flush with embarrassment as you smile

“sure!”

over the next couple of hours you two establish a little system of bagging the spilt supplies and passes them to eachother to put in boxes, chatting never ceasing as you discover that you actually have a lot of things in common

“since you work here, what’s your favourite kind of coffee?” “i like lattes… i cant stand bitter things” “me too! my friend drinks espressos though” “ditch them”

you also find out that he started being homeschooled after becoming the manager as he doesnt have time to attend normal school

the both of you find yourselves laughing nonstop, having fun in eachother’s company

so much so that you end up late for school

“oh shit! i completely missed my first class”

guilty for making you late, he offers to take you

“i can take you?” “you drive?” “well….. not exactly”

once sunoo and ni-ki arrive to care for the shop, he takes you out to the car park, pulling a spare helmet out of his backpack and securing it on your head before giving your head a pat as he gets onto his scooter

“you look cute” “i look like a bug” “a cute bug”

once you get to school, face red after having to hold onto him the entire time, you hop off and pass him the helmet with a shy smile

“thanks for driving me” you mutter, brushing off imaginary dirt from your shirt as you do your best to avoid eye contact, your face still flushed and heart racing

is it possible to develop a crush on someone this quickly???

jungwon is so cute that he makes it possible, you surmise

“of course” he mirrors your nervous smile, a blush finding its way to his own cheeks

as you bow and spin on your heel to start walking inside, he stops you

“wait!”

“what is it?” you turn to him, your heart still thundering against your ribcage at the fond expression he has plastered on his features

“actually… can i pick you up? after school?”

when you pause, your face growing hotter and hotter, he begins to sputter

“i-i’m really sorry, its fine if not! that was way too forward, i just really like you and- oh god that was even more forward- um-” “okay” “yeah i’m sorry that was a stupid questio- wait, what?”

before he can say anything else, your smile widens

“i’ll see you later, okay? don’t be late!” you wave, skipping into the building with a fluffy feeling in your chest

with an awkward wave, jungwon watches you leave, his mouth wide open in shock before a grin replaces his expression

getting back into his seat, the lovestruck smile never leaving his face as he drives off, he begins to count down the minutes until he gets to see you again

ni-ki

works the afternoon shift

technically an apprentice but he gets paid and has been there forever so basically an employee at this point

or he would be if he ever actually made coffee

he sits with the work phone all morning and chooses the music

perpetually dancing to 7 rings by ariana grande (look up his cover. youre welcome in advance)

jungwon and jay scream at him to at least do the mopping to which he complies, but not without performing a whole ass concert with it

once they saw him twirl and dip the mop

eventually they just told him to go back to curating the music because he was scaring customers away and they were losing business

he was horrible at cleaning anyway

“hey jungwon i think i got window cleaner in your plant” “im firing you” “i dont even go here” “STOP QUOTING MEAN GIRLS AND FIX THE DAMAGE YOUVE CAUSED”

you meet ni-ki while youre drinking your coffee at a booth and he plays your favourite obscure indie song so you have to compliment his taste and get to talking

he plays your favourite songs whenever youre in the shop and audibly hisses at anyone who tries to change it

makes choreography to said songs at home and tries to impress you by casually belting it out by your booth

when you compliment his dancing and ask how long hes been practicing that choreography hes all like “oh hahaha it was just casual freestyle super easy peasy”

(hes been practicing for two weeks)

thought he was being super obvious by doing these things but apparently nOT because you have not caught the hint at all and hes getting impatient

asks for advice from the others begrudgingly

“give them flowers” “jay thats so boring” “do you want to use one of my dogs? everyone loves dogs” “wtf jake since when have you had more than one dog” “make them latte art with a heart on it” “sunoo ive literally never made a coffee in my life” “why dont you just ask them out like a normal perso-” “shut the fuck up grandpa thats so weird no one does that”

eventually he settles on sunoo’s idea of making you latte art and he embarks on his journey to make his first coffee

rather than focusing on the actual taste, sunoo tells him to just do whatever so that he can show him how to do the art

“why is it green ni-ki” “you said to do whatever” “and your first idea was to make poison? idk if this is the best idea if youre trying to ask this person out” “shut up and pass me the milk”

burns his hands on the steaming milk jug at least fifteen times and ends up with so many bandaids on his fingers

despite how stiff the bandages are on his hands, he eventually manages to make a sort-of legible heart

“it looks like africa” “have you ever had steamed milk poured on your eyes sunoo?”

poor ni-ki waits for you all day, his heart leaping every time the bell on the door rings only to roll his eyes when it isnt you

he even stays past his shift so youd better let him take you on a date or hes quitting

when you finally arrive he trips over the bucket at his feet he was using to clean and spills dirty water all over his pants

“omg ni-ki are you okay what happened” *five octaves higher* “NOTHING I'M COMPLETELY FINE WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT”

by the time he’s finished cleaning himself up (and by that i mean fixing his hair in the mirror for twenty minutes) he takes a deep breath and walks over to you, somewhat cold latte in hand

“um,” he clears his throat, his face growing red as he slides the mug towards you “i made this for you”

“aw thanks ni-ki! why is it green” “........its matcha?”

youre slightly suspicious but you look back to the mug and slowly realise that the “drawing” slightly resembles a heart, smiling a little bit to yourself

when you look back to him, youre a little confused as to why hes just standing there

“is something wrong?” you press the mug to your lips, taking a sip

“o-uh uh actually, i wanted to ask if… if you would uh maybe sort of go on a date with me”

you can only smile

“yes, but…”

his heart starts beating faster, watching you anxiously

you stand up, taking the notepad and pen from his apron pocket and scribbling your phone number

“only if you promise to learn how to make actual coffee” you wink, handing him the notepad and sauntering out of the shop

hes stood there dumbstruck, stars in his eyes at the slip of paper in his hand

but then he realises: he has a new mission

rushing to the back room, he slams the door open

“grandpa, i need you to teach me how to make coffee right now” “literally why do i pay you”

with your promise in mind, the others see him work more diligently at the counter than they ever have before

“wow youre actually working today?” “shut up i need to figure out how to do this butterfly before i pry my eyes out with a fork” “haha funny joke ni-” “did i stutter”

at the end of the week, he forces heeseung (the cafe’s best coffee maker) and sunoo (the cafe’s best latte artist) to judge his latte

“this is… surprisingly good” heeseung peers into the mug, smiling at the swan ni-ki created with the latte foam as sunoo grumbles “dont tell me im gonna have to start competing with this kid, it probably tastes gross” “it tastes amazing too” “im quitting”

with his coworkers’ notes in mind, he finally works up the nerve to send you a quick message telling you to come into the shop

when you arrive the next day, ni-ki greets you and immediately gets to work, making sure to stand as close as humanly possible to your booth so he can show off his newly acquired coffee making skills

with you only inches away, he does make a mistake and spill milk on his shirt after looking at you and not his hands for a second too long, but you decide to give him the benefit of the doubt when he sets the mug in front of you

“wow! this heart is perfect!”

you smile, looking up to him “did you seriously learn how to do latte art just so you could take me on a date?” “… y-yeah, and?”

you can only chuckle as you press the mug to your lips, readying yourself to drink liquid dirt…

“this is… really good!” you grin, taking another sip and putting the mug down on its saucer

“i think you’ve definitely earned yourself a date… or two”

at this news, ni-ki’s face lights up, shoving the urge to scream down his throat before nodding stiffly to try and contain his excitement with a strained “cool” escaping his lips

“are you okay ni-ki?” “yes just give me one second”

he quickly scrambles to the break room, a moment of silence wafting through the store before a shrill scream fills the air

eyes wide, you turn to jay, who had been manning the till, after hearing him burst into laughter

“what is he doing?”

“we told him the freezer was sound proof”

[diaryofabeautyfiend]

Warnings: unprotected sex (m/f), adultery, divorce, a little fluff, a little angst

Plain Gold Ring Part III

For All We Know

“For all we know

We may never meet again

Before we go

Make this moment live again

We won't say goodbye

Until the last minute

I'll hold out my hand

And my heart will be in it” -Nina Simone

———————————————————

One month. One month before you moved to Chicago. One month until you start your new life. One month for Andy Barber to convince you that you belong together.

The night you retuned was a whirlwind of emotions. In the four days you were gone Andy had moved out and filed for divorce. You didn’t know what happened in that house and you didn’t dare ask. All Andy offered was, “She doesn’t know about you.” That gave you little solace. Made you feel no less guilty. And yet, here he was in your apartment.

He knew her routine and promised they wouldn’t cross paths. Though, it wouldn’t be unheard of if he was at your place considering the mountain of work you had to clear. He could explain it away.

You said no physical contact but you couldn’t help stroking the dented skin on his left ring finger. The little void of lighter skin a spectral reminder of his former life. That was the only conscious touching you did that night.

You kept the conversation light. You spoke about the new firm with an excitement in your voice that even shocked you. He agreed your offer was far too good to pass up. He had been to Chicago a couple of times. It was bitterly cold there for far too long. Though, if all of this worked out, he would just have to get used to it.

It was getting late. Neither of you wanted to say goodbye. “Can I stay the night?” he whispered.

He had no malicious intent whatsoever. He just wanted to be next to you. Your stupid brain was now deferring all decision making to your heart. That bitch was more easily swayed than your pussy. Of course you said yes.

He wanted so badly to hold you against his body and drown in your warmth but he promised. He stayed as far away from you on the bed as possible. In the night, out of habit, your body had made its way to the middle of your California king. And, purely out of habit, Andy draped an arm over your side.

——————————————————————

You let Andy sleep in the next morning. You went to the gym, showered and made breakfast. When he found you in the kitchen he was freshly showered and wearing some well loved pajama pants. The no touching rule did not apply to morning in the kitchen.

He padded in on bare feet unintentionally sneaking up on you. When he kissed the back of your neck you jumped.

“Did I scare you?” he chuckled.

“I’m not used to having someone here.”

He poured himself a cup of coffee and refilled your cup. “I’ll make more noise next time.”

“Did you sleep ok?”

“Very well. Thank you.” Neither of you mentioned that you wound up tangled around each other.

You got out your laptop and set yourself up on the dining table. You tapped away while Andy read the paper. He eyed you suspiciously over a folded corner. “What are you doing over there?

“Working. Between you and Stan I have about 500 emails in my inbox.”

“It’s Saturday.” he said in disbelief. “Who works on a Saturday?”

“A single girl who lives alone and doesn’t participate in home improvement couples projects. Be honest. How many Saturdays have you and Lori spent in Home Depot?”

He really though about it and laughed to himself, “Too many.”

“Fucking suburban breeders.”

“Suburban breeders. Wow.” He continued to read the paper feigning outrage. “We don’t have to go to Home Depot but I would like to do something nice with you today. Although, I did see a few lightbulbs that needed to be changed.”

“That’s what the super is for. I don’t even own a ladder and I’m not about to buy one. Why don’t you find us a movie? It’ll be like a date.”

Andy’s heart fluttered. He hadn’t been on a date in sixteen years. He wanted to get it just right. While you toiled away he planned your evening.

First, he would make you dinner. Keep it simple and light to make way for popcorn and candy. An art house cinema was playing “Anatomy of a Murder” on actual film. It’s arguably one of the best written courtroom dramas ever. After the movie there was a little coffee shop within walking distance. Then, he hoped, it would be back to his new place. He thought if you were at his place and not in your building that it would take your mind off of Lori and Jacob.

It actually warmed his heart that you cared so much for their feelings. He couldn’t help but think you would make a great stepmom for Jacob. He was getting ahead of himself. But it didn’t hurt to daydream.

Andy tried his hardest to be lazy for the day but he was crap at it. He had to occupy himself. He offered you a hand which you readily accepted. It was such a shame you were leaving the firm. The two of you worked so well together. Given your circumstances he would have encouraged you to tender your resignation immediately after being passed over.

While Andy was getting dinner together you popped off to get changed. So far he had only seen you in workout gear and work attire. It would be nice to be a little bit more casual.

When you appeared in the kitchen he let out a sharp whistle in appreciation. “You look beautiful. Since we are on a date is the touching ban still in effect?”

You kissed him tenderly on the lips, “I think we can make an exception.”

“Well in that case…” He placed his hands on either side of your face and gave you a deep panty ruining kiss. “I’ve been wanting to do that for days now.”

You gripped the edge of the counter to catch your breath. “Something smells good.”

His whole face lit up when he told you about the salmon he made. He dipped the tip of his finger in the glaze and held it to your lips. You slowly sucked at the very tip of his finger. “Yum” you said looking up at him through your lashes.

“If you keep that up, baby, we won’t leave this apartment.”

You gave him your most innocent smile, “Sorry, boss. I’ll be a good girl.”

“Fuck. Save that for later. Speaking of later, I thought we could go to my condo tonight. It’s closer to the theater and I’d like to show it to you.”

“Big ol’ thumbs up for me. I’m famished.”

Your date went incredibly well. How could it not? You two were already idiots for each other. You talked for hours and about everything that night. No topic was off limits. You really had a lot in common. You both got into law for similar reasons. Though, you had more altruistic intentions like joining the ACLU as part of their legal team. Now you work for a firm who represents massive corporations. You weren’t proud of the turn you took. That was another reason the Chicago firm was such a great fit for you. They did a little bit of everything but, you would be going after these big corporations instead. He loved your unbridled enthusiasm for your work.

After all the wine was gone and the conversation died the two of you were cuddled on the couch. He rubbed his hands up your arms and massaged your shoulders, “Are you falling asleep on me?” he asked against your ear.

“No. Just relaxed.” He deepened his touch bringing his hands to your décolleté skimming the top swell of your breasts. His hand dipped into the v of your tshirt to make contact with your skin.

“Is this ok?” Lord he’s perfect.

“I declare the no touching ban officially lifted.”

He waisted no time taking full advantage. He massaged your breast under your shirt teasing you over your bra. His other hand held your face to his while he kissed you. You let out a soft moan to which he responded in kind. You turned around to straddle him. He ground his cock into your denim covered cunt to relieve the ache. You went slow savoring the weight of his body. The scruff of his beard. The rough callused fingers that seemed to be everywhere. With Andy, kissing was your favorite thing. The act made your insides liquid and warm.

He broke away to lift your shirt over your head. He sucked your nipple through the thin material of your bra. Your breath hitched in your throat. You ran your fingers through his hair grasping it hard. He undid the fly of your jeans and slipped his hand in. Your juices ran over his fingers while he fucked into you. You met your peak and cried out when you tumbled over the edge.

When he released you, you stood up and undressed. You pulled his shirt over his head. He kissed your belly while you shimmied out of your panties. He kicked off his pants and lowered you onto his dick. The stretch nearly toppled you over but you held on. You pressed your clit into his pelvic bone and he fucked into you hard. He could feel you were close. Your pussy fluttered around him bringing him close to his end. “You ready, baby?” You answered with a whimper. “Cum with me.” With a few final thrusts you both exploded.

There was an imperceptible shift in you that night. You were ready to meet Andy where he was. For the next few weeks, you were going to be his. Entirely and completely his in every conceivable way.

——————————————————————

You didn’t say no when he asked you to spend the night. You spent a lot of nights there. So many that he gently suggested moving in with him until it was time to ship out. His reasons were entirely practical. You were over staying your lease which meant you were paying more a month in rent. Your big stuff and winter clothes were packed and in storage. You were basically down to your bed and a few other essentials. At least you could put everything in storage to make it easier for the moving company. So you guessed now you were living together.

You wished it bothered you more but honestly he was a delightful roommate. He was clean. He cooked. You both had an annoying habit of bringing work home with you. At least you were doing it together. And, it goes without saying, you fucked like horny teenagers. You were adventurous and that thrilled him to his very core.

He had a large terrace looking over the city. That was officially your favorite spot. You were sure your neighbors heard you.

——————————————————————

You only had a week left. You successfully handed off your entire case load. Andy took a few days off to help you get settled in Chicago. You tendered your resignation the week prior.

Stan tried and failed to hold onto you. You let him know your mind was set. The only thing left on your work calendar was the charity event the firm held annually. You were on the board this year. Problem was, no one could know about you and Andy. You had to go alone. Andy was bringing Lori.

Your heart gave up her post as she was no longer emotionally equipped to handle decision making. Your brain was petty as fuck. You gave Andy the silent treatment for a whole day. He had no idea you weren’t speaking until he asked you a third time what you wanted for dinner.

“Y/n, I’m speaking to you. Do you want Thai tonight?” Nothing. You sulked around the kitchen never making eye contact. “I’m sorry are you mad at me?” He grabbed your wrist and forced you to face him. “Being a brat isn’t going to fix this. Look at me and use your words like a big girl.”

“Don’t treat me like a child.” Your voice was low and emotionless. You planted your feet and stared him down.

“Then don’t act like a child. Talk to me.” He smoothed the hair out of your face and rested his hands on your shoulders. “Please. We only have a few more days together. I don’t want to spend them fighting.”

You took a deep breath and blew it out. You didn’t trust yourself not to cry so you just let loose. “If I quit already, why can’t we go together? Further more, if you filed for divorce, why are you taking Lori? Also, you didn’t talk to me. You told me. End of story.”

“I still work there. I don’t want anyone to think you quit because of me. I didn’t tell anyone that Lori and I have split. She agreed to go while you were still in Chicago. I apologize for not talking to you about all of this. I honestly didn’t know how you would react. I wanted our last week together to be happy. I won’t see you for a while. It’s just one night. You can have me forever if you want.”

You softened a little, “But we’ll be all dressed up and dancing and stuff. I know this seems ridiculous but I don’t want to watch you dance with someone else even if, technically, she is your wife.” You pouted a little. He kissed your bottom lip and pulled you into his arms.

“You wanna dance with me, baby? Let’s dance. Alexa…play my Y/N playlist.” The speaker sprang to life filling the air with a sweeping piano and Nina Simone’s velvety voice. You swayed to the music while Andy sang softly in your ear “…..So baby love me, love me tonight……”

You stared up at him, tears shimmering in your eyes, “I’m sorry I was a bitch. I guess I’m a little on edge.”

“Don’t apologize. I’d be offended if you weren’t a little jealous. I’m on edge too. Every time I think about being here alone I can’t breathe.”

“So come with me.” It’s not that the thought hasn’t crossed his mind. He didn’t want to be that far away from Jacob. He just started this job. You both knew it was a ridiculous request.

“Give me some time.” You spent the rest of the night swaying in each other’s arms. Fucking hell. You fell in love.

[how-masterful]

Remastered

Dhawan!master x reader

Chapter 3: New Earth

Summary: New earth, new adventures, but the return of a dreaded old face. You’d been acting strange all day, and despite the distracting wonder of the mysterious cures the sisters of plenitude were concocting, the Master had most definitely noticed. But when all is revealed in the hospital, things go from curious to complicated- especially when the sick break free, and the root of all the days problems decides she wants to try the masters body on for size.

Notes: At last! Another remaster! This time not a Matt but a David episode: loathed by some, but a guilty pleasure of mine! I mentioned wanting to write this fic  while ago, and i finally got around to it on the eve of Doctor Who day! I hope you all enjoy!

As usual, this fic is dedicated to my dearly beloved queen @plethora-of-imagines​. My watchalong companion, fellow soft dom lover, most trusted confident, and the most hat obsessed girl i’ve ever met. I hope it lives up to the hype!

They were surrounding you in droves. 

The sick. The diseased. The nearly dead. 

The filthy pipe covered walls of the hospital basement flying past your field of vision as you desperately raced towards salvation.

Or at least, the woman who was currently controlling your body raced.

Cassandra's presence in your head was agony- not just for the fact the woman was compressing you to death, but because she was so damn judgemental. In all of your adventures in time and space you’d never met someone so cruel, so self absorbed. And you travelled with the Master of all people, for crying out loud. You suspected the only reason you were being saved was because she was too self preserving to let herself, and by extension your body, go to waste. At least she had the common sense to keep up her speed, the Masters pace just in front of you as you bypassed the closing passageways of the intensive care unit and headed towards the room where she'd been hiding all this time.

“You’d better know where we’re going!”

The Master, for lack of a better term, was fucking pissed to say the least. The revelation that you weren't truly yourself was far more shocking than the revelation of the human farm the Sisters of Plenitude were hiding in their basement. He’d first accused the matron, who denied having any part in the ‘fuckery with your brain’, but it soon became clear who exactly had decided to hitch a ride inside your delicate human brain. The, as the Doctor's pet had once referred to her as, bitchy trampoline. You supposed he was also furious that she’d kissed him. You yourself were certainly boiling with anger at that fact. At least it was still your mouth, you reasoned.

“Keep a lid on it, handsome! This has been my terf much longer than its been yours!”

She knew the way well, the distance between yourself and the following lab grown humans strengthening as your feet lead you towards the dingy basement where your mind had been overtaken. Her assistant chip was long gone now, the boy probably dead from the swarming humans. All that was left was you, Cassandra, and the furious Master. 

The pair of you skidded around a plethora of corners, the basement of the hospital built not unlike the elaborate mazes the Master would construct within the walls of the TARDIS. You very much wished to be safe in your home instead of running from manic nuns and the almost living dead, but you knew that travelling through time and space meant a girl couldn’t be picky. If only Cassandra also shared the sentiment

"THROUGH HERE!"

You still weren't used to the ridiculously posh accent coming from your mouth, her shrill yell guiding the timelord to the small door that lead to her chambers.

The Master huffed, following your guide as you crawled through the square metal hatch. You heard the door slam and latch shut soon after, the chambers flying past as the far entrance arrived into view. With a heave the hinges opened, Cassandra letting out another scream as the diseased loomed large in the doorway. The door slammed shut as she pressed your back against the rusting metal and pulled down the lock, her eyes meeting the deadly glare of the Master in the middle of the room.

"My god, we're trapped in here! What are we going to do?!"

The Master narrowed his eyes, leering at the woman with a cast iron gaze that made you even shiver.

"Get out. I want her back. Now."

Cassandra rolled your eyes, the woman matching the Masters stance. He let out a low growl, the Master stepping forward with gritted teeth.

"I know you've met the doctor, but you've never dealt with someone like me. So let me be quite plain: I'm not going to play your stupid little human games, Cassandra. I want Y/N back, and I want her back now."

"God, you timelords are all the same, so demanding! You do know it's just a title, don't you darling?"

The Master scoffed, pure fury evident in his sneering grin. Cassandra took a step back, arms dropping from their fold as he took a step closer. His presence was intimidating to say the least.

"This plan of yours, it had potential. A psychograft- I must admit, rudimentary but creative."

It was Cassandra's turn to scoff now. The pair of them practically circling each other, the Master watching her turn her back as the last human stepped towards the ruined remains of her rusted frame. The Master stood besides the psychograft, the TCE now in his grip as he gestured with the small device squarely at the machine.

"Banned on every civilised planet, I can relate. But you know why they were banned, Cassandra? They were sloppy, completely unstable."

"Another thing you can relate to?"

"You're compressing my Y/N to death!"

Cassandra sighed, venom on her tongue as she kissed your teeth, scrunching her nose in disdain. Your fingers carefully traced over the metalwork of her frame, the jarred brain she once used now beginning to wither as the suspension fluid leaked and pooled out onto the rank basement floor. 

"And where do you suppose I go, hmm? My skin is long dead." Cassandra snapped, head whipping around to glare at the man in the purple coat. She smirked cockilly, tilting your head.

"You ought to play softer with your toys, time boy. This very sore little human of yours is my one ticket out of this shit hole"

"I'm afraid you'll have to deboard your vessel, Cassandra. You can float in the air- like dust, or a disgustingly persistent mosquito. Quite on brand, for you-"

"Very funny-"

"But your self preservation, Cassandra, is nothing but a big, fat you problem. That body you're in is precious to me and I'm not letting you get even a scratch on her."

Cassandra glowered, clenching her teeth as the Master gripped the TCE tight in his palm. She stared at him, lips quivering as she planned her next rebuttal. The Master held his nerve, unable to help the tightening of his chest as he thought of you, stuck inside your own body. He knew the feeling of being kept from your own being all too well from his little stint in utopia. Cassandra finally relented as the Master slowly raised the TCE to aim at her head.

"Give. Y/N. Back."

Cassandra carefully stood, slowly stepping towards the Master as he brandished his weapon in his hand. She teasingly began to twist the charm on the necklace around your throat, holding the pendant between her fingers. The Masters glare strengthened, eyes focused on the jewellery in her grasp. 

"You know, once you were dead and this place far behind me, I was planning on dumping the meat and pawning the bling as soon as I could. But you, Master, are too stubborn for your own good."

The Masters expression reeked of confusion, his head tilting to the side as Cassandra squared off her shoulders. The time lord took this as a threat, tightening his hold on the TCE as he watched her every move. You could see it in his eyes- Thousands of possibilities processing at once, the gears of his mind shrieking as they grinded through his manic yet methodical systems of thought.

"You want her back? You asked for it."

The tremendous pressure on your head suddenly lifted in a whirlwind of overstimulation. Every sound screamed in your ears, the basement around you caught in a surge of darkness as your hazed vision was stolen from you. A loud ringing persisted, if only for a few moments, the muted and muffled existence you'd sat within ripped from under your feet. Your knees weakly buckled, shoulders slumping as you felt the ground connect between your feet. You let out a gasp for air, eyes scrunching shut as you shook your head. The basement slowly came back into vision, your head recovering from the imprisonment with a low groan from your throat and a palm to the side of your skull.

"Ow, jesus christ, my fucking head. Where did she go?"

You focused your vision on the man in front of you. The Masters back was turned towards you, the timelord almost bent in half. He didn't respond, body oddly still as you dared to take a step forward. You had a dreadful suspicion about where she'd run off to after leaving your head.

"Master?..."

"Dear lord, I'm a bad boy now!"

No way. No fucking way.

Cassandra turned around with a flourish, hands upon the Masters chest as she let out an excitable giggle. His eyes sat wide, a half smile upon his face as she familiarised herself with her new body. She stumbled on her feet like a newborn deer, inspecting her fingers and rocking on her toes as she rubbed at her chin. The presence of a beard under her fingertips seemingly blowing the woman's mind. You didn't know whether to laugh at her antics or cry at the problem that just emerged before you.

"I've never been a bad boy before! Bad girl, for sure, but this?! Isn't he just delicious!"

His usual northern tone was long gone, a fact that hurt much more than it should. Cassandra couldn't stop giggling to herself, her hands playing over his cheeks as he hurriedly raced towards the cracked mirror placed upon the wall. She gasped loudly, rippling with excitement as her hands roamed over the Masters body: Fluffing his hair, synching his waist, popping the top button on his shirt. Seemingly doing everything she could to fill you with jealous rage.

"Are you about done?"

The Master flapped his hand in your direction, shushing you as she childishly jumped up and down on the spot. You folded your arms, biting your tongue as she preened and primped in the mirror, pushing his face within her hands and posing with narcissistic delight. You'd seen the Master do this himself, on occasion. But this was a completely different beast- especially since you didn't enjoy where her hands were seemingly wandering to

"Oh hush, darling. I'm just having a little fun with all these new… graciously extensive parts- these have definitely been well worn in, the saucy little thing. I'm quite the handsome devil now, aren't I?"

You growled, nose scrunching as she hummed to herself, smoothing down his purple tweed collar as she began to prance and strut around the room. She lept over various apparatus and rubble, spinning and watching the purple material of his coat fly like a skirt behind her. Cassandra let out a satisfied cackle, sighing with up most content. Your rage was furiously simmering within your chest.

"He's quite the riot, isn't he? He's so feisty, I love it. So edgy, so... Naughty! He has lots of filthy thoughts about you in here, oh the pictures i could paint for you."

"Get out of my- the Master now!"

Cassandra cackled, leering in towards you with a torturous grin. You'd feel rather flustered if it weren't for the fact this wasn't the Masters doing. Cassandra held her hands to his chest, stalking forward as you desperately clung to your stoicism. You wouldn't give her the satisfaction of watching you crack.

"THE Master? Or were you about to say MY Master? You forget darling- i've been inside your head. You want this samba in his chest to only beat for you."

You rolled your eyes, leaning away as the Master giggled and leant in closer towards your face. If Cassandra weren't within the Masters body you most definitely would've punched her. But your growing level of rage meant that was a fact you would possibly be able to overlook.

"It's a shame, really. If it weren't for the fact he'd kill me on the spot, I think i'd like to keep him. He seems like a seasoned professional in showing a lady a good time, after all!"

You let out a scandalised squeak as Cassandra grabbed at your hips, causing herself to dissolve into stitches of laughter as you shoved at the Masters chest. A blush of embarrassment flooded your cheeks, your fists bunching together in furious resentment. 

You sighed loudly, narrowing your eyes as you glared at the woman currently possessing your time lord. She was well and truly pushing your limits at this point and you weren't sure how much of her shenanigans you could handle.

"It's so easy to tease you, darling! You know at first, i just thought it was a personal interest of yours. But he actually calls HIMSELF the Master!-"

"Cassandra-"

"How fabulously kinky! Lucky girl, you did find an exciting bedfellow. How you kept hold of him i'll eternally have no idea."

"ENOUGH!"

The timelord paused from playing with his hair, turning to look you up and down with widened eyes. Cassandra took in your heaving chest, the tightening of your jaw as you glared daggers into her forehead. She raised his eyebrows, raising his hands in mock surrender. You could feel the sarcasm dripping from her actions, which served to infuriate you even more so than before.

"Struck a nerve, did I?"

"We're stuck in the basement of a hospital in QUARANTINE, chased by INFECTED LAB GROWN HUMANS! All of which, by the way, is ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT! And you think the best use of ALL OUR TIME is to play a game of musical bodies and piss off the only person able to help you out?!"

Cassandra pouted childishly at your words. You let out a frustrated huff, causing her to almost recoil in shock.

"We're short on time and big on problems. The last thing I need is you making this situation any worse than it already is!"

A thick silence sat between the pair of you. It was almost a dare to see who would attempt to move first, Cassandra's lips pursed and quivering as if the sarcastic retort was planning itself behind the Master's teeth and upon the timelords tongue. Your determined stoicism was completely abandoned in favour of indulging in the buttons Cassandra had been desperate to push. At this point all you wanted was the Master- not the stuck up snob currently cursing you internally in several languages.

You wanted to be out of this hospital and back in the TARDIS, to lay together and laugh at how a crazy old human who didn't know when to die decided to prance around inside the pair of you for an hour or so. But you couldn't. Because that crazy old human was ridiculously persistent. You thought her and the Master could possibly get on if it weren't for the current predicament you'd found yourselves in.

It seemed Cassandra had finally found her argument. The Master stepped towards you, hands on his hips as he sneered up and down your body. You opened your mouth to speak, ready to smack down any argument she could possibly have against common sense and decency, until a loud crash suddenly broke the pair of you from your standoff.

"Please… Help us!"

The far door to the basement slammed open, the sound of metal ricocheting against the aging stone wall. The diseased clawed and clamoured, spilling into the dingy room with a surge of newfound freedom.

The Master let out a petrified scream, hands flinging to your shoulders as he yanked you forwards to act as his human shield. Cassandra cowered behind you, peeking over your shoulder in terror. You could most definitely slap that woman, you decided. Guilt be damned. He let out a shrill yowl of panic, jutting you forward towards the oncoming hoard.

"TAKE HER, SHE'S LESS VALUABLE THAN I AM!"

Yep. Guilt be most definitely damned.

"Cassandra we have to work together!" You pleaded, turning over your shoulder to face the terrified Master cowering behind you. 

"The Master would know what to do but since you won't leave his head you have to trust I know what he'd say!"

Cassandra whined, roughly pulling you backwards as she stepped away from humans that were slowly beginning to close in.

"And what would he say?!"

You assessed your options. The sick were surrounding you from most angles, your entrance still sealed from your previous escape. However, a possibility caught your eye.

A slender black ladder. Your way out.

You turned once more to the woman, confidence finding itself back in your stride.

"UP THERE!"

The Master screamed once more, heaving you forwards with a weak shove as he scrambled up the stone steps that just emerged behind him. You yelped, gathering your footing with haste as you saw the purple of his coat flail behind him.

“Out of my way! Pretty people don’t die first!”

You followed Cassandra's path, clambering through the remaining metalwork of her skin frame and heading towards the metal ladder that sat flush against the wall. The basement supposedly lead towards all manor of places within the hospital, this upward ascent leading you towards the hollow insides of an abandoned elevator shaft. You watched the timelord hesitantly grasp hold of the flaking and rusting rungs of the ladder, disgust evident on his features as he retched at every climb. You couldn't be dealing with any more of her antics today.

“WHAT’S THE PROBLEM!?”

“THIS LADDER IS FILTHY!”

“SO!?”

“I HOPE YOUR MASTER HAS HIS TETANUS SHOT!”

You shrieked in frustration as you shoved Cassandra further up the ladder, your wafer thin patience having been tested today by that woman more times than you ever thought you could possibly muster. Your time was very much running out, and getting a disease from a ladder was of more concern to the woman than obtaining every single disease on new earth. The audacity of that woman astounded you to a completely new degree.

“IT'S EITHER THAT OR PLAGUE!”

“STOP YELLING AT ME, I CANT COPE WITH ALL THIS PRESSURE!”

“FUCKING CLIMB, CASSANDRA!”

A metallic thunk erupted from the bottom of the ladder, the blistered fist of one of the lab grown humans clinging tight to the first rung of your escape. The flustered cry of Cassandra floated further up the length of the ladder, your stomach filling with pity as you watched the pained glances and heard the pleading cries of the sick. You only hoped you could get the Master back and figure out a way to help them.

“Please… help us!”

“I’m sorry! I’ll try, I promise!” you called in return, before turning to face the panicked clambering of the Cassandra possessed Master up to safety.

You could do this. If you were lucky, you reasoned. It was possible.

If you were truly lucky you could get your Master back, lift the quarantine, save the sick, and escape this dreaded hospital. Only four things. You could do this.

But first, you had to deal with Cassandra:

And judging by the fact she was still screaming, several rungs up the ladder, you needed all the luck you could possibly get.

[ask-iamnotanalicorn]

Previous: The Tirek Timeline

The Discorded Timeline

The new Element bearers had not appeared. With nothing to fall back on, Celestia went to face the return of her sister armed only with her determination and desperation. With the knowledge that anything other than subduing her sister would result in Luna’s death or her ponies’ enslavement, Celestia fought with all her heart. 

A thousand years hadn’t tempered Nightmare Moon’s madness, but it had grown Celestia’s magical skill. The clash of the last remaining alicorns filled the sky with light and darkness that could be seen across the entire country... including from the gardens of the castle in Canterlot, where a long-dormant statue waited.

If Celestia had known the danger... if she had known that the Tree of Harmony had grown weaker over a thousand years... if she had known that the Element magic used to imprison Discord was weakened with it, and he only needed one significant bit of discord to break the last lock on his prison... she might have preferred allowing Nightmare Moon to take the throne. 

Because two alicorn sisters displaying their ground-shattering discord across the skies was more than enough. 

Discord caught them mid-battle...and was honestly kinda irritated to find them more focused on fighting each other than challenging him. He couldn’t even set up a good game for them to lose at before he took over! He’d just have to fix that with a bit of chaos magic. A quick boop to the heads, and... well, things didn’t turn out quite like he expected. Celestia became haughty, snide, and violent, but Luna changed out of her (decidedly tacky, but what could you expect from pony fashion) goth look and turned all nice and weirdly remorseful. Luna tried to appeal to her sister, Celestia (who now had an interesting tinge of fire in her mane) unleashed some demeaning verbal attacks, and pretty soon it looked like they were gearing up for another fight, and...

Well, this was stupid. They were so focused on each other, they weren’t even paying attention to him! He’d fix that with another boop on Celestia’s noggin - really annoying, having to un-chaos someone, but at least it put the two ponies on the same side so they could get their priorities straight and focus on...

Ah, yes, there it was! Just what he’d waited for these past thousand years: two alicorn sisters, both staring at him with horror and worry and that oh-so-precious pony determination. Too bad they had already worn themselves out with their fight over who-knew-what. They were almost pathetically easy to overpower, especially with not an Element in sight.

The princesses were his playthings. Equestria would be shifted and reformed under his chaotic whim. And none stood able to challenge him.

The Reign of Discord had begun.

----

Meanwhile, Salespitch was visiting Canterlot at just the wrong time, and... 

Well, what do you think happens when a lord of chaos notices a pony standing in the middle of the road, trying its hardest to not show how petrified it is, and it has a horn and wings but clearly no alicorn magic? And then said lord of chaos investigates said pony out of curiosity, mocks him about playing princess, and is amazed when said pony actually gets annoyed enough to scold Discord that no, he is NOT an alicorn, he’s never WANTED to be an alicorn, and he would really prefer it if people didn’t mistake him for royalty when he’s just a stallion with a genetic mutation trying to live a normal life!!!

Discord thought that was the funniest thing he’d ever heard. 

Long story short, instead of Discording Sales’ personality, Discord just... made his biggest annoyance a reality. Obviously he didn’t give Sales FULL alicorn powers, and what powers he did give him are pretty wonky - the ability to turn random objects into suitcases, and fly upside down, and speak in a dramatic Royal Canterlot Voice at random and totally inconvenient times, etc. The royal regalia was a stroke of genius inspired by one of this new era’s “cartoon characters,” a perky little alicorn called Prince Smiley. (The fact that Sales had once dressed as said character for Nightmare Night was sheer coincidence, although Discord would have found that even more perfect.) 

Obviously Sales was horrified, which is really the wrong reaction, because it just made the whole thing funnier to Discord and thus made the draconequus that much less likely to forget about Sales and go pester other ponies. Anonymity is your friend in Discord’s kingdom.

Now, Discord being Discord, he gets bored of things easily - including mocking and tormenting the powerless alicorn princesses. There’s a whole nation to twist and remodel into a true chaotic kingdom! Plenty of other ponies to give him some variety. Turning them to stone would be so gauche and ruin his single moral high ground over the ponies, so when Discord tires of his princess fun, he turns the alicorn sisters into fillies and leaves them with his newly-appointed Prince of Babysitting. After all, shouldn’t an "alicorn” be in charge of baby alicorns? Discord even made him a lovely glass castle with stone windows - more of a cage, really, since Sales can’t leave it, but he has a throne and everything! Discord doesn’t even have to worry about manipulating somecreatures into worshipping the new “prince”; Sales has already got his own cult that fawns over him outside the see-through castle like a fanclub, to Sales’ eternal embarrassment. Yes, this is clearly the best setup Discord could have come up with all around, takes-hand-off-and-pats-self-on-the-back.

Time passes with no end in sight for the madness that has turned Equestria into a kaleidoscope’d chaos playground. Sales kind of falls into a perpetually annoyed resignation. He tries to be grateful - at least he still possesses full control of his mind, unlike so many ponies outside his weird castle. He has the honor of safeguarding the princesses - although he feels guilty that he can’t actually protect them from Discord’s whims. But he can keep them happy, and the few times he gets to talk with them before or after they’ve been in their baby states, Celestia manages to give him a word of encouragement or gratitude. (Plus, well, they ARE pretty adorable as fillies... even if he is NOT the world’s best babysitter and has to figure things out on the fly. He really wishes his mom were here.)

There is one actual advantage to all this. Ironically, Sales has a closer connection with Discord than most; since Discord made Sales the caretaker of the princesses, he actually talks to Sales sometimes. Granted, he mostly treats Sales as a captive audience to whine at when Discord starts getting bored of whatever recent chaotic plan he’s enacted. After all, when EVERYTHING is chaos... well, chaos almost becomes normal, so Discord keeps having to up himself. Sales actually manages to have conversations with him sometimes, and he’s gotten a glimpse of the truth even Discord can’t or won’t recognize: that he’s lonely, dissatisfied, and lacks a real sense of purpose or fulfillment.

Sales has to treat carefully, since annoying or upsetting Discord too much results in chaotic ‘punishments’ that are usually more disorienting and frustrating than actually harmful. But Sales has started picking his ear a little bit with hints that maybe Discord is bored because most creatures subject to his chaos don’t enjoy it like he does? Maybe sharing fun WITH people is better than just having fun for yourself at others’ expense? I mean, look at you, Discord, the only pony you really talk to is a nobody you made into an alicorn just to embarrass him.  That’s a pretty lonely way to live, isn’t it?

Sometimes Discord listens while making snarky comments. Other times Discord gets irritated and turns Sales into a tiny alicorn who has to ride around on baby Celestia’s back and try not to get stepped on (or something of that nature). But Sales keeps trying and hoping and praying he’ll get through, because if they ever hope to stop Discord’s reign of chaos... well, it might just take teaching the Lord of Chaos what friendship is.

Even if the only pony currently able to make the effort finds him super annoying.

-----

Fun Facts About The Discorded Timeline:

- Yes, Luna’s popsicle is her cutie mark. I suppose once she digests it it will reappear back on her flank. XD

- Cadence hasn’t become an alicorn yet in this timeline. The chaos events do lead to her meeting Shining Armor, though, because TRUE LOVE and such :D

- Sales’ cult ABSOLUTELY LOVES THIS SITUATION. I mean, a lot of them hope/expect that Sales will eventually break free and defeat Discord now that he is showing his true alicorn might. Sales yells at them through the walls sometimes, but they have a hard time hearing him, so naturally they make up all sorts of “godly” nonsense he’s supposedly sharing.

- Discord did in fact accidentally cure Luna of the bad magic that was fueling and feeding off her old rage and paranoia. She and Celestia have pretty well made up through these weird events. And as Discord grows bored of their initial humiliation, his torments get less frightening and more, well, just weird, so life is KINDA bearable. Plus they really like Sales now (they don’t remember their adult selves while they are babies, but Discord makes sure they can remember every embarrassing toddler thing they did when they get aged back to normal.)

- Sales doesn’t know what’s going on with his family, they were back home when this happened. He’s hopeful they didn’t get affected too badly. In fact, Featherhorn (his hometown) got turned into a cardboard village and a few ponies had their heads swapped around, but Discord hasn’t made any connection between them and Sales, so he doesn’t think anything special of the place. Mostly just chocolate rain, flying rhinobunnies, and corncob trees. Everypony agrees it could be worse (but not out loud, that’s just ASKING for trouble!) Also Per talks backwards now, but everyone can still understand her (somehow) so it evens out.

- Black DOES run into Discord at one point while trying to sneak into Sales’s castle. Discord thinks he’s just another of Sales’ fanclub, so he turned him blue and forgot about him. Black finds this super annoying, especially when he can’t change his color no matter what magical disguise he makes.

- Don’t even worry about Sombra, he’s not touching a Discorded Equestria with a ten foot pole. Honestly Discord probably went after him as soon as he showed up, adding the Crystal Empire to his chaos kingdom. 

- The Changelings are staying the HECK away in their nice little magic-negating castle, the only safe haven from Discord. Pony refugees actually try and go there, although it is tricky to get around the thick forest of living candy Discord erected all the way around their territory. Those who do get in exchange servitude and donations of love for safety. It keeps the changelings fed and the ponies feel safer working for bug-ponies in a place of order than out in the madness of Discord’s land.

- So as you might imagine, Sales can’t break through the glass of his glass castle. If he were to try and smash through the stone windows, though... let’s just say he feels really smart AND really dumb while making his escape attempt. It doesn’t go over well with Discord, especially when he manages to successfully pawn the baby princesses off to some of his cult members (one of whom is Black, don’t worry), who hide them away. This leads to a rather heated conversation when Discord catches up with him... and perhaps a moment of truth where Discord might realize he actually does maybe kinda sorta consider this silly brown pony a friend who he possibly doesn’t want to severely punish as a warning to other ponies who might defy him. Maybe.

- Art note: I didn’t draw a background for this one initially, and then I got around to coloring them and knew it needed SOMETHING. Came up with the glass castle with stone windows because that seems Discord-like. Also baby bottle trees. The idea for breaking the stone windows was literally last minute as I wrote this, so bonus!

Next Week: Industrial Devolution (Flim Flim Universe)

[zargsnake]

Knightkiller: Anakin and Obi-Wan’s First Adventure

Chapter 9: Crix Spartak

Word Count: 2309 Links: Chapter 1, Table of Contents

*   *   *

Two Years Ago

Shmi sits at a desk by the windowsill in Watto’s shop, composing fake documentation for a shipment to a more legitimate planet. She used to do this kind of thing all the time for Gardulla on Nal Hutta, and she's very good at it. Forging and faking are probably her best skills. She knows legal-speak and formatting; she has a knack for coming up with random numbers and convincing names. When she has a sample of handwriting or writing style from a real person, she can imitate it flawlessly, which she has done for business leaders, crime lords, and even Senators. When she doesn't have anything from anyone real, she invents someone. She has no honest idea what the closest Senator's name really is, but she's invented a self-serious personality and a squiggly autograph that has tricked docking-receivers as far away as Rodia.

Watto has little use of this power of hers for his day-to-day needs, but he sometimes comes up with plots to trick his neighbors using Shmi’s forgeries. And, sometimes, like now, he needs her tricks to get rid of stuff, like these ten tons of toxic waste he ended up with from a bad bet, and that he now wants to pass off as fertilizer and sell to a gullible offworld farmer who won't be able to trace it back to him.

Writing isn't bad work. It’s challenging, and, malicious as it is, she knows she could enjoy it, if she let herself: getting into people's heads, living other lives, for just a short while. It is like solving a puzzle, to figure out how to make other people believe something that isn’t true. The cruel intention of the trickery is not her own, it never is, so she doesn't let that aspect of her work bother her, not anymore.

The only bad part, from her point of view, is the knowledge that her words get to go somewhere that she does not.

And the only good part, really, is that she gets to look at her little boy as she writes. He sits on the desk, next to her cobbled-together, whirring word-processor. He is carefully cleaning a fragile hyper-carburetor with a rag, putrid green gear-soap, and a very serious expression.

Suddenly Crix Spartak pokes head through the window: “Skywalkers!”

“Crix!!” Anakin nearly drops the carb, but of course his reflexes are too fast. He spins around on the desk and grins at the gladiator.

Crix leans on the windowsill -- then lifts his arm quickly from the heated clay, and leans just one calloused elbow on the sill. “Good morning, Ani.” He reaches across and tussles his hair. The boy nearly glows with happiness.

Shmi raises her eyebrows at the man her son admires so much. “Good morning, Crix. Can we help you?”

“D’you wanna go for a spin on the old speeder?”

“YES,” answers Anakin.

“We have a lot of work to do. Not all of us have 6 free days out of 7,” answers Shmi.

“I don't have any work, Mom!”

“I can think of one or two things for you,” she tells him.

“Just a loop round the block, Shmi? You'll be back in a minute.” Crix rests his head on his hand and smiles at her, looking just like a puppy.

She looks at him with a very deliberate expression. “I can't.”

“Take me!” says Anakin, heedlessly.

“Ani! You need to stay with me while I work. I don't want you zooming around, testing the limit on your tracker-bomb.”

“I've calculated for that,” says Crix. “Your tracker-bombs are the same as mine. The loop I planned wouldn't go anywhere near the limit.”

“Please, Mom? I'll work twice as hard.”

“No need for that.”

“I'll bring him back in ten minutes.” Shmi does not look convinced. “Five minutes.”

“Please?” Anakin begs again.

“Ten minutes,” she concedes.

Anakin sets the half-cleaned carb down, crawls off the desk, moves the carb onto a shelf, and climbs back onto the desk and over the word-processor into Crix’s arms.

“I'll bring him right back to you,” says Crix.

“If you don't, I will kill you,” says Shmi.

“I'm more afraid of you than any gladiator alive!” he tells her, laughing.

“Good! You should be!”

“Is that YOUR speeder?!” Anakin interrupts them.

“Yup! -- Well. Not really. But I won it, anyway.”

“It's BEAUTIFUL!”

“Ani!” Her son looks at her. “Keep it down.”

“Sorry!”

“Have fun.”

“I will!”

Crix grins at her, drops a big yellow flower on her desk, and points at it. She rolls her eyes and he blushes and carries Anakin to the speeder to drive him around. Shmi can't compose at all without her little muse at her side. She sits there, worrying, as they drive somewhere out of sight. A minute passes, and she picks up the flower. She doesn't recognize it. It must be an import. He must have won this, too.

They return in just eight minutes.

   *   *   *

One Year Ago

Anakin is not supposed to be in the audience of the death match. No one wants him here, not his master, not his mother, not even Crix himself.

But he just had to come. Everyone is talking about it. He’s never known anyone so talked-about, so famous. He feels so proud. Crix is like family. And everyone, all over town, is raving about him, how unstoppable he is, what a bloody, powerful killer he is. And now Crix’s master has rounded up a spectacular squad from faraway worlds, incredible people who are paying huge amounts for the chance to fight him, to fight Crix, to fight his mom’s cool boyfriend.

They say there’s monster-men, like Wookiees, and there’s even a Mando, whatever that means. Everyone is saying they’re crazy. Everyone is saying all his opponents are gonna die, shot by Crix’s bespoke mega-blaster or crushed in Crix’s bare fists. Anakin can picture it, but he can’t really believe it; he has only ever seen those hands used for good. It'll be Crix’s grandest fight yet, maybe even the grandest fight that's ever happened in the universe. No one can keep Anakin away from such a prospect!

He has an average amount of chores, but he sets his droids on them. His newest and, by far, most ambitious droid, C-3PO, isn't much for cleaning or repairing, yet, but he can speak, a little, and write, a little more. His mom bought Anakin a fairy-tale book and assigned him to copy out the letters to improve his handwriting. Anakin sets Threepio on the task instead, and hopes that his mom won't be able to tell.

He does feel guilty, but he's too excited to feel that guilty. He sneaks out without telling her. There was a sandstorm this morning; fortunately it has passed, but the leftover wind keeps kicking sand into the air.

The arena is in a different neighborhood than the slave houses. Anakin lifts up the tarp of a delivery truck and hides in there to hitch a ride. To his surprise, the truck is full of gross little creatures called gizka. They crowd around him and rub their big faces on his legs. He pulls one onto his lap and pets its soft horns and noses.

“I wonder why they're taking you to the arena? ... Oh, I bet the gladiators are gonna slaughter you.”

He finds it kind of funny, in a sad way, that these little animals are so cheerful; that their doom is close, and they have no idea. He pretends his hand is a sword and chops it on their heads, making them coo and squawk. He laughs.

Once he hears a crowd outside, he sneaks out of the truck and hides among the people. He is far from the only urchin running around, but he does not pick pockets. His mom forbids it, and they wouldn't be allowed to keep the money, anyway.

He follows the other children and soon finds the hole in the arena’s wall which they use to sneak in and out. He fits inside the thin crack without too much difficulty, and flits around the dirty, dark area behind the stadium seating. He finds a spot with a good view, between the legs of some pink-skinned person. He leans on the bench and rests his head on his arms, and watches the battles with wide eyes.

He almost doesn't recognize Crix, in a ridiculous helmet with a big feather, but the nasty red scar across his shirtless torso gives his identity away. He's touched that scar; it feels rough and scratchy.

Crix is more than just a killer; he is a performer. He yells and growls and taunts; he makes obscene gestures and even takes bites out of his opponents, both animals and people. Anakin feels shocked and uncomfortable to see him this way, but it does not lessen his affection for him. It only increases his amazement, that one person could contain two such different personalities.

Just as the pilots and farmers had predicted, Crix wins every battle with ease. His main strategy involves shooting to stun, weaken, and disarm his opponents, and then taking them down with glamorous, bloodthirsty wrestling moves. Anakin has never seen such gratuitous and extended violence before, though he has seen plenty of people die, from podrace explosions to mechanical accidents. Until today, the bloodiest thing he ever saw was someone's tracker-bomb explode their head, but some of these deaths far surpass that one. When he starts to feel dizzy, he looks away and takes deep breaths, but he is too invested to look away for long.

Something about all this murder makes him feel cold. But it isn't a real cold. And it isn't nearly as bothersome as this heat or this wind. He rests his sweaty forehead on his arms and swallows his own spit, but it is a weak comfort. The bench shakes under his arms as the audience bangs their feet on it. Anakin marvels at their energy. He wishes he was having as much fun as they are. He really is trying to enjoy himself, and he sort of is. The thrill of it all is similar to podracing, and the triumphs are satisfying. He supposes he will grow into liking it.

After forty minutes of this action, the host announces the next opponent -- the Mando, Chahlee Tiango. Anakin watches the helmeted warrior posture and pose as the audience frantically cheers and boos.

The little boy is starting to feel bored. This would be much more exciting if they were flying around on fast ships, not shooting and punching each other. The only real difference anymore is the color of the blood. But Chahlee looks like a human, meaning he'll just bleed red, which isn't anything new.

Anakin looks at Crix, whose helmet cracked in half in the last battle. Now that his face is visible, Anakin can enjoy his confident smile. He wishes his mom were here to see her boyfriend winning so much. He supposes she would hate it.

As Anakin's thoughts wander, the audience jumps to its feet and screams uproariously. Anakin fastens his eyes back on the battle.

Crix was shot right in the chest. He crumples. A wave of sand lifts from the ground and nearly covers him, like a blanket, hiding him, as if he were never there. Tiango takes a gleeful lap around the arena.

The audience is screaming far too loudly to hear anything from the announcer. The bench is shaking too much to remain a suitable armrest. Anakin stands up straight and stares ahead.

The pink legs that had framed Anakin's view now jump and move around with everyone else, obscuring the arena with cloaks and pants and boots. The other children in this hideaway start moving around, their own views also disrupted, trying to find better spots. Some of them move in front of Anakin. He lets them. He backs off further into the shade.

“Crix…” His initial shock starts to wear away, and he feels tears cross his parched face. “You were supposed to win! They all said you would!”

He had to lose eventually. No one can win every time. Mom told me he would lose, sooner or later. Everyone dies. It's okay.

It really doesn't feel okay. But this feels like podracing, too. Failing. Losing the game. He has been close to death himself a few times, especially when Sebulba is in the match.

He wipes his eyes and holds his fingers in his ears, which are popping from the terrifying decibel level of this audience. He squints his eyes and waits for the volume to settle and the people to sit back down.

What am I waiting for, though? They'll just continue with Tiango as the new champion. I don't want to watch that.

He makes a half-hearted attempt to get another good view, but one of the other children accidentally brushes up against him, and the feeling of being touched makes him deeply angry. He doesn’t trust these other kids. He doesn’t like them. They can’t understand. That wasn’t their friend who just died. It’s too loud here. And it isn’t going to get quiet. Not for a long time.

He worms out the crack in the arena wall and sees a truck that looks similar to the one he used to get here. He hides under the tarp again -- it is now empty inside. The truck jostles along, though it doesn't take exactly the same route back. It takes Anakin a little closer to home, but then it makes a turn he did not expect. He wonders if the truck will eventually come back around to the slave houses. He has no way of knowing. He fears it will wander out of range of his tracker-bomb. He jumps off the cart and walks the rest of the way home.

Chapter 10: Gafia Chumpi

[a-libra-writes]

SFW Alphabet - Sansa Stark

Let’s play a game called “which sansa is this??” good question dude its just a lot of headcanons and my own fucky timeline. this was requested at some point??? probably

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Some days Sansa had nothing to look forward to but spending time with you and holding you close, and even on her brighter days, she generally likes how comfortable and forward you are with your touches. It makes her feel very loved, especially with how much you two can get away with in public. She often has her arm around your’s when you walk, and she likes to lean on you when you sit. In private, Sansa generally likes being close, physical affection is just very reassuring and grounding to her. She likes resting against your chest and holding your hand the best.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Sansa loves to spend time with you and do all sorts of things while you talk about just as much. It’s so easy to talk to you, and not only does she feel like she can tell you anything, she knows you’d never use it against her, and that sort of relief and safety helps her more than you know. It’s funny that your friendship started simply enough - you met at the court of the Red Keep, you were the same age and of similar stations. That was it. You didn’t tell Sansa that your parents pushed you to socialize with a Stark; the friendship came easily and at that point you didn’t need to be forced to talk with her at all.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Cuddles are always on the table for her. They’re comforting and sometimes, the only way she can fall into a mostly easy sleep. She likes to rest on your chest, listening to your breath and heartbeat, but being the big spoon is nice, too - she can nuzzle into your hair and take comfort from that. You think it’s cute how clingy she can be, but you’d never call her that out loud.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Even if her idealism has been stepped and spat on time and again, Sansa still wants that cozy, romantic, domestic life… Although at this point, she just wants the simplicity and predictability of it - she misses the days that passed by easily and without any heartbreak. Since she’s a lady, she has no knowledge of cooking, nor does she have much of an interest in it. She’s a naturally neat person though, so she keeps her things and room tidy even if there are maids to clean it up. After a while she starts to keep the room clean herself, rightly assuming that the maids are somebody’s eyes and ears.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

She’s the type who can hold on for far too long, often making excuses for her partner and waiting until they set her aside… Or she coldly distances herself and makes it clear she has no interest in them anymore. It goes back and forth, but Sansa will clearly emotionally cut herself off before officially ending a relationship.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

There’s no doubt she takes commitment and fidelity seriously. She was raised by Ned Stark and Catlyn Tully, for goodness’ sake, and her own ideas of romantic love - dulled as they might now be - are still strong in her heart. She’d never rush into anything, but she’s sure of her feelings as she gets closer to you. Being two ladies, there’s no way you can officially be united together, and she tries not to let that grievance gnaw at her heart.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

She’s very much both, but especially emotionally. Sansa has a way with her words, and she doesn’t like to intentionally hurt to begin with, especially those close to her. When she speaks to you about a concern she has, or even when she’s angry, she’s collected and explains herself, although she can’t always keep the emotion out. If she worries you’re making the wrong move somewhere, she’ll tell you so. As far as physical touch, the hardest Sansa gives is when she’s hugging you tightly. She’s just not the kind of person to treat a loved one roughly, even in passion. 

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

She adores hugs - the warmth of your body, the sweet smell of your hair, listening to your heart beat against your chest … When you’re alone, she’s content to sit like that as long as you let her, but in public she knows she has to be brief. If you’re the one who needs to be comforted, she’s more than glad to hold you as long as you need, petting your hair and speaking softly all the while. 

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

She’d find herself feeling that way for you quickly, but that would almost worry her. She’d second guess herself, second guess your intentions, wondering if she was just lonely and projecting her feelings onto you. Honestly, you could just watch the gears turn in her head. It would save the poor girl a lot of grief if you’d just say it first, but if Sansa was sure of her feelings and feeling anxious, she’d quickly tell you in case she lost the chance.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Oh, she can get very jealous. Sansa tries to hide it, but … it’s fairly obvious to you. She understands it’s foolish and will honestly speak with you about it, since it embarrasses her, but she still frowns pointedly at any lady who seems a little too close and flirty. It’s worse when Sansa knows they’re interested in you, because then she has to politely yet pointedly tell the lady that you’re taken, which is just layers of double talking and innuendo because your relationship is secret in the first place… Or Sansa just tells the lady to mind her business. You know better than to tease her, but it’s cute how she glares after the lady long after she’s scared her off. You can’t help but feel like you have a grumpy wolf circling around you.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Sansa’s kisses are almost always sweet, and she’s the type who wants to linger in your embrace before finally parting. When you’re alone and the mood is more romantic, she loves to deepen the kiss and just hold you there while she takes in your warmth. The lips are the best place for kisses, in her opinion, but it’s cute when you want to kiss her brow or the top of your head (especially if you’re shorter - if you’re taller, it makes her blush), and she trembles whenever you nip and kiss at her collarbone. Besides your lips, she enjoys kissing your hands while she holds them.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

She’s patient enough with children, especially the sweet ones, but after awhile they begin to tire her. The more unruly a child is, the less patience she has. She feels a little guilty for this, but then she hears a screeching baby and she thinks “nope”. You’d think coming from a large family would endear her to the idea, but all she can think of is being a womb for some lord, and it just puts her off the idea. She’s better with older children, at least.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

There’s been a few rare moments where she could sneak you in her room, but that’s few and far between, so you settle for immediately visiting her after breakfast. Since you’re two ladies of equal standing, no one thinks twice about you being together. You do all sorts of things, go on walks, go riding, explore the city, draw or paint, read, it really doesn’t matter. Sansa is happy to spend time with you, but she rather enjoys the quiet peace outside, even if the sunny, humid weather is a far cry from Winterfell. If Sansa had her way, she’d want to be lazy for once, sleeping in while curled in your arms.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

She starts to get tired of all the socializing of the day and wants to retreat to her room, although she usually ends up in your chambers and stays as long as she can. She likes quiet evenings where she can read or sew and listen to you talk, or just enjoy a comfortable silence (and cuddles). When you both feel like you need to just get out, you go out and walk under the stars. Before bed, she makes sure her hair is brushed and she’ll want to do the same for you. Sharing a bath together is a luxury you can’t always get away with, but one she loves.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

While earlier in her life she would’ve chattered away about anything you asked, now she’s far more guarded. When you were just friends and she wasn’t sure about her feelings, sometimes she found herself lying or hedging around the truth. She didn’t want to lie to you, but her anxiety and paranoia would win. She’d feel better if you talked about yourself and showed your vulnerabilities first. Once she can finally, really trust you, it’s such a weight off her shoulders. You don’t mock her feelings and you listen to her fond memories, you let her cry and don’t shame her for it. For that you have Sansa’s absolute loyalty. 

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

She never thought much of her patience before, but now she’s more or less been forced to bide her time and bite her tongue. You know when her temper is burning because her eyes are flaring, but she keeps her lips shut, unless she knows she can get away with a verbal lashing - and Sansa certainly knows how to give them. When you’re alone she’ll even vent irritably, sometimes staying in her anger for several hours before you can calm her down. You’ve always been amazed at her tolerance for the bullshit of the court, but even she has her limits.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

If asked directly, Sansa might forget things you like or what you’ve told her, but when she’s by herself she often sees things that remind her of something you’ve done or told her. Out of nowhere she’ll recall a story you told about your family, or she’ll remember how much you like a certain food. She remembers your stories and sorrows more readily than materialistic things, anyway, as she feels they’re more important. Her memory is still better than most.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Your friendship almost seemed too good to be true, and so was the time after you both confessed your feelings. That sort of newness and happiness made Sansa anxious, so she wasn’t truly happy and comfortable until well into the relationship. She has a distinct, fond memory of you two sneaking out of the Red Keep and just enjoying an entire day to yourselves. You hid under your cloaks and held hands and arms, there were no worries, no guards, no obligations. She couldn’t remember ever feeling so free, it was like a dream she was sure she’d wake up from. When you snuck back in and she laid in bed, she still thought she’d wake up any minute. That outing kept her happy for many weeks, and she still thinks of it when she’s feeling lonely and down.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Sansa feels like she can’t do much to protect anyone, but you know better.  You’ve seen her twist words and play dumb to protect others, and you’ve seen her do it for you. There’s no point in telling her to look after herself first, her compassion won’t let her, so you make a point to protect her just as much, whether it be verbally or physically. Sansa is always grateful for your protection, and she swoons a little if you keep her safe physically.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Oh, she’s excellent with gift-giving and arranging pleasant things for you. She’s humble about it, but to this day you have yet to receive a gift from her that’s both charming and practical. She just pays so much attention to what you like, it’s very flattering. Oftentimes she’ll make you something just because she felt like it, and you find yourself wanting to keep it safe and not use it. 

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

It drives you up a wall how Sansa will downplay her abilities and intelligence, and while you get why she has to do that in front of the Queen and the Council, you hate it when she begins to confess those things to you. You have to reassure her often that she’s capable, she’s lovely and she doesn’t deserve what they do to her. On a lesser note, she often makes quick, biting judgement of others. This is part of her wariness, she observes people closely and classifies them by how threatening they are to her, often before she even speaks to them. When her eyes scan a room full of new people, you can just see her mind turning over, deciding who is an immediate threat and who isn’t. 

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

She’s been raised to be admired and beautiful, as any proper lady should, and Sansa finds her propriety as important as armor. She has to look perfect, so they can’t complain about her looks, even if the court finds fault in everything else she does. It’s also a way for her to have control over her rapidly unraveling life. She used to enjoy being called pretty, but now it’s a compliment that she glosses over. She just cares about looking presentable.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Oh, absolutely, to the point where Sansa doesn’t even want to think about something happening to you - although her own anxious thoughts and nightmares often betray her. She’s already lost so much, she can’t imagine losing you, and yet… she can easily, vividly imagine someone else so important being taken away. In her worst moments, she wonders if it’s only a matter of time. When you’re with her and she’s at her happiest, she swears the gods would never be so cruel as to give her so much happiness only to take it. Your relationship has to be the answer to the prayers she gave.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Sansa equally likes very feminine types of girls and very masculine types. The latter would shock her, but once she saw your shiny armor, how you’d defend others, your skill with a sword… Well, she’d be swooning just as much from a lady who wears beautiful things, moves with grace and uses her words like a weapon. Now, if you were the type to do both? Her heart probably couldn’t take it. Sansa is the type to look up to a strong, honorable sort of woman, and the kinder you are, the more she’ll start catching feelings.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

It’s fairly obvious that Sansa has no patience for those who are cruel, even if they’re kind to her, she can’t stomach it. Even people who are more cynical and pessimistic are not held high in her regard. She’s had too much of that, she doesn’t want more, and of course… She can’t look past a lack of honor. Maybe she’s just being a silly girl, but she can only think of how good and kind her father was, and his sense of honor. If he could do it, then why can’t others? 

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Putting it simply, she doesn’t sleep well. She struggles to fall asleep as anxious thoughts and frightening memories come to the surface, then she’s plagued by nightmares, and all that tossing and turning … It’s rare when Sansa can get a full, restful sleep, and you can tell when she’s had a particularly bad, restless week. When you notice her lightly doze off during the day, you get her a blanket and make sure no one disturbs her. She’s a little more comforted when you share a bed with her, but you’ll still hear her move around until she finally drifts off. If she were in the North, she’d sleep a good deal better; as the weight and warmth of the furs brings her as much comfort as having you close by. In the South, her room gets too warm and she has to toss all her blankets off.

[chiclet-go-boom]

FFXIV: mid expansion check-in

Random things about my current obsession to help my day go by a little faster:

Did the Qitana Ravel last night. Turned out to be a little easier than the video walk through made it seem although once again, I absolutely suck at seeing the paralyze mechanic happening right in front of me. Its so weird, its not like its a tiny icon on a bar somewhere that yes, I also miss seeing most of the time (hello, Doom! how I have missed thee). It’s a big ass Sauron Eye glaring at you from dead center of the boss for fuck’s sake - yet every time I’m blasted with the damn thing and only afterwards do I go... oh, right. Eyeball of Terrible Hurt. my bad.

I peeked at the MSQ list and Qitana is somewhere in the middle of the expansion so I’m about halfway through Shadowbringers now.

I am not sure I like this, actually. I have been inhaling this story in large, sporadic chunks (too busy during the weekdays to sit down and immerse, so doing 6-10-12 hours chunks on the weekend) and now that I can technically see an end in sight, I... don’t want it to end. I really don’t. I want this to keep going forever.

I dinged 80 on my one and only Disciple class some hours back and had a quick crisis of faith before deciding that no, I am not going to stop to level another job up to 75 in order to keep reeling in the XP without wasting it into the aether. As much as I don’t want to finish the story, I also desperately need to know what’s going to happen more than I need the five levels of xp that I am going to consign to oblivion. I feel terrible about this. I’m also still throwing that xp into the void every time I complete a story quest, like a handful of salt over my shoulder. Forgive me my sins, O Brother, for my heart is weak even if my intentions pure.

Spent the last part of my play session last night carefully comparing best prices for level 510 gear across my data center services, and got my initial possible investment from 2.2 million (if I bought every slot on my server) down to just over a half million by comparison shopping. So feeling relatively good about that.

The jump from 405 iLevel gear to 510 is noticeable and amazing. I threw all the Crit materia I could into the slots that would take them, and Determination into the rest and now my crits pack a decent punch in comparison and they definitely come up way more often. Go, me! 

Apparently Tomestones of Allegory (and side acquisition of Tomes of Revelation that will happen in tandem) are the next thing to scrape together to get the 510′s up to 520′s where I will call it a day since Savage what? Thank you Yoshi-P for making a gearing system that a casual scrub like me can actually tackle as a reasonable project. I am a veteran of so many games where BiS isn’t a real thing at all, its just an acronym I know how to type.

For the record, I picked Archer/Bard way back at the beginning of my adventure and I love it just as much now as I did back then. I tell myself to try Dancer or Mechanic sometime and... I just want to shoot arrows, apparently. 

When I dinged 80 I got Apex Arrow which, okay, where do I fit this into the rotation again? and something else. What was it? Uh. Soul Gauge. Which tells me when Apex Arrow will be a blinding flash of deep hurt I guess. Another thing to pay attention to in the heat of battle (no wonder I miss Doom and Paralyze mechanics all the time).

Emet-Selch is growing on me like a particularly annoying fungus that some of me actually doesn’t want to scrub off. Please nobody spoil anything but man, that terrible part of me that sympathizes with the best villains hopes that when we get to the end of this, the guy survives. I want him to lean over my shoulder in Endwalker somewhere, offering completely unsolicited advice some more. I hated him at the start of this and now I still kind of hate him but I also want to chain him to a bed somewhere so he can make it up to me by using his tongue to convince me in much more clever ways.

I still miss my Lord of Winter. I came across his portrait in somebody’s house last night and I just... yeah. Stood there and felt my feels. Not even gonna feel guilty for having them, I just flat out miss him sometimes. Kudos to his actor, because I can still hear his voice.

Side note: I wish there were targeted quests afterwards that let you interact with the main characters of other expansions again in more than a passing their-character-model-is-in-this-scene-with-me way. Ser Aymeric. Lord Hi’en. Even being able to go back and clout some bandits with Raubahn would be amazing. I need filler episodes in this crime drama, damn it. 

That is it for now? I managed to waste like, an hour plinking this out between doing technical work so go, me for that!

[thebibliomancer]

Shadows of the Dark Crystal liveblog pt 2

Shadows of the Dark Crystal by J. M. Lee

Because I crave more Dark Crystal content and also more this content.

Last time in this book: Naia dreams of something More than staying in the swamp and training to succeed her momdra. Then Tavra of the Vapra shows up and makes a fool of herself multiple times. And also, Naia accidentally dreamfasts with her and learns that Tavra is looking for Gurjin and Rian.

Dun dun dun.

Chapter 3

Okay, the Drenchen have a great way to do the dishes.

They just leave them out to be washed in the rain. A for lack of effort. Guess they don't serve anything that really sticks. And no utensils.

The cool Drenchen live inside a giant tree.

Dream-etching! You know, for a pretty cool concept it didn't get a lot of play in the show. Still, I appreciate it.

Maudra Laesid calls Tavra in and gives her a 'i'm not mad, I'm just disappointed' stare. She's being a very bad guest, having all kinds of ulterior motives.

Laesid is basically 'we know you're up to something and it involves Gurjin and these chapters are like 8 pages long so you might as well admit it'

Tavra: "Your son and another castle guard, Rian of Stone-in-the-Wood, have been accused of treason by the Skeksis Lords. Their crime is spreading lies against the Castle of the Crystal and Ha'rar. When called to trial, instead of facing justice, they fled. Neither have been seen since."

Naia in this whole scene wants to shout 'BS' at everything Tavra is saying but she's actually really disciplined at not doing that.

Tavra is here not just to see if Gurjin and Rian are hiding out with the Drenchen but also to bring Gurjin's closest kin to stand trial on his behalf. Which, uhhhhhhhhhhh.

And if Gurjin and Rian don't appear in Ha'rar within one unum (month) then they'll be sentenced to death in absentia. This is a really tight timetable in a world where sending a messenger is the fastest way communications works.

Gelfling need to get to teaching fire skype to the masses.

And the closest kin thing is basically holding them hostage to try to force Gurjin and Rian to show themselves.

Except Gurjin can't because the Skeksis have him locked up and I guess didn't tell anyone. I don't remember this early part of the show very well.

Dad's reason why Gurjin can't be guilty is "Gurjin's interests are in hunting game and courting girls, not politics"

Bellanji: "How I'd love to see those rosy-red cheeks on Her Silverness when she finds he's not planning treason but climbed up a tree with a lassywings somewhere."

'Your honor, I can't possibly be guilty of treason, I was making out the whole time' - Gurjin's Dad's idea of how things will go down.

I think of Gurjin as Rian's dependable friend and forgot that he had this side to him.

Naia actually starts wondering if maybe Gurjin did get involved in something because she's imagining the Castle as a magical place that can really change you.

"Had she been in his place, she would hope to have changed -- grown, at least a little. Her mother had always said assignment at the castle might grow some wings on the boy, a saying that had consistently invited contest from her only son."

So, wait. This is a matriarchal society so is grow some wings a good thing? Gurjin didn't like being told that. What does it mean for a guyfling to be told to grow some wings?

Tavra: "If you're so sure your son is innocent, then I invite you to send his closest kin back to Ha'rar with me" -significantly glances at Naia-

Bellanji: -refusing to read the gesture- 'YEAH MAYBE I WILL COME TO HA'RAR WITH YOU'

Tavra: 'oh sweet mother aughra, no'

Tavra is trying to talk Bellanji into staying and he's not having any of it and Laesid goes 'cool, Tavra and Bellanji roadtrip. Naia, go with them. It'll do you some good to see the world.'

Laesid: "There's a thorny nettle growing. Between the castle and the Skeksis, tangling with the All-Maudra and the Gelfling race. As it grows thicker, we in the outreaches of the Skarith Land will need to be more familiar with those that rule us."

And then Laesid tells Tavra to gtfo!

"I don't need your guarantee of anything, Tavra of Ha'rar, except one: that you'll get out of my swamp as soon as there's light enough to show you the way."

Now that's a bridge burned!

In fairness, don't send a paladin to do diplomacy, I guess?

Chapter 4

So the next morning Naia goes to pack for her finally getting to leave the swamp.

Apparently the first time Gurjin returned home from the castle, he brought Naia a souvenier. A small dagger made out of real metal. A real rarity in the swamp!

Unfortunately it just intensified Naia's ENVY because Gurjin also talked at length about all the cool metal stuff in the castle. And a metal dagger isn't so much use in the swamp which mostly relies on long-distance hunting. So it mostly exists as a symbol of the life she couldn't have.

Doesn't help that its the only thing gift he ever brought her from the castle.

But since she IS leaving the Sog now and who knows whats going to be out there, she does bring the dagger. And tries to squish down her bitterness since Gurjin's fate is up in the air at the moment.

She's pretty excited about what she might see on this journey.

"Would she see the wide, endless ocean?"

I hope she does.

Tavra apparently slept for crap, or isn't used to getting up so early for travel. She's got bags under her eyes and her ears are drooping.

But she learned a thing from her journey in so she's gotten rid of most of what she was wearing to travel light.

Drenchen ranging gear: Nebrie leather and apeknot bark armor, hunting spear.

Tavra also learned another thing, right now, by watching Naia and Bellanji travel through the apeknot canopy.

"To her surprise, Tavra kept up. Without the weight of her cloak, free of the quagmire that had sucked at her boots for miles, the Silverling was as fleet as a bog flier. Naia could only imagine how quick she might be in an open field, or maybe atop a long-legged Landstrider. Tavra's wings stayed folded tightly at her back until just the right moment - then whissssh! Out they'd stretch, catching the atmosphere and launching her into the air, where she'd glide, darting upward to land on another branch and resuming her pace on foot."

"As the trees began to thin nearer the swamp threshhold, Tavra made one particularly impressive leap, swooping high into the air and flying for some distance without landing. The clearing in the canopy let the sunlight through, and the rays caught the Silverling's wings, lighting them with a flash and sparkle of silver. Distracted by the sight, Naia swelled with envy, nearly missing her step as the earth suddenly shook."

Was it just envy though?

And suddenly to distract Naia away from the probably envy, a random encounter. A giant darkened Nebrie attacks.

Naia reasonably responds by repeatedly throwing bolas at the thing's eyes and then wondering 'hey why are its eyes all messed up?'

Which, to be fair, is separate from throwing things at the eyes. Bolas don't cause evil, purple lightning.

"Naia stared into the creature's deep orbs, sensing pain and seeing only black and flashes of violet, as if the Nebrie had looked upon something so bright and terrible that the image had burned all else from its mind."

This Nebrie has seen the lie at the center of EVERYTHING.

The Nebrie has also gotten irritated by Naia throwing stuff at its eyes so knocks over the tree she's in and she plunks right into the Sog-y drink.

Its fine, Drenchen have gills. They do??

Gelfling adaptation of their environments is wonderful. Swamp gelfling lose their wings and grow gills, because of course. Underground gelfling - no I mean really underground, like the center of Thra underground - evolved to be constantly on fire.

Naia actually hit the water so hard that she just disassociates at the bottom of the swam for a while until her dad falls bleeding into the water too.

Tavra helps her pull her dad out of the water but they're cornered by the Gigamax Nebrie.

Out of any other options, Naia just tries asking really nicely that the Nebrie doesn't kill them.

Which works! Because the nebrie just drops dead!

Quite odd!