#GONNA END THAT TRAIN OF THOUGHT BEFORE IT GETS NEGATIVE LMAO

[ilseofskadi]

damn i'm really feeling sick on international lesbian day of all days smh

[l0v3tast3]

ooh can i request a 141 witha reader that has bad abandonment issues and needs constant reassurance?

if it’s to much please then don’t do it, don’t wanna make you write something you don’t want to

but if you do mwah ily! ❤️❤️

as someone with severe abandonment issues. and also needs constant reassurance. thank you for this request lmao also mwah ily2 !!! (っ˘ω˘ς ) this was rlly cute to write lol also sorry this took like a month im finally trying to get caught up on requests lmaoo

✎ tags: gn!reader, young military reader, angst, mentions of violence, comfort, fluff

✎ word count: 900 words (not proofread)

masterlist | requests

✧ ˖ ° they all notice it when your eyes shift towards theirs for their approval when you do well during training, when you never say "no" to whatever they ask you to do for them. they think you're just eager to please. you're the shiny new recruit to the team, beaming bright and always ready to take on your next task, so they brush it off.

✧ ˖ ° simon is the first to really figure out how deep your servitude runs, what the real reason behind it is. it's during one of your missions together, him and johnny and you in a firefight. johnny gets separated from the two of you and he can nearly feel the panic radiating off of you at the thought of your teammate, your friend, being gone. you do a good job of concealing it, of pushing through it to clear the area before you bolt to go looking for him.

✧ ˖ ° it clicks for simon so quickly because he's been where you are before. he's felt that trepidation too many times, the dread dripping cold down his spine when the other end of the radio goes silent. he's felt that same dizzying relief when you both reunite with johnny and your shoulders visibly relax. so when you're all back at base and you're hanging back while you fiddle with your gear, he pats a heavy hand on your shoulder with a gruff "y'did good, kid," before he walks away.

✧ ˖ ° kyle doesn't quite figure it out in the same depth as simon, but he picks up on the way you get nearly giddy at any kind of praise or validation and how anxious you seem to get when you think you haven't done something as well as they want you to. as he gets to know you and grows more and more fond of you, he'll make it a point to encourage you and try his best to help you build your confidence in your abilities. it's subtle and obvious at the same time, a quick "nice shot!" over the radio during missions and a huffed "are you ever gonna let me win?" while you're sparring together.

✧ ˖ ° it's not something that's spoken between you two, but you know he'll always be there for you. being the closest in age (and social media knowledge) helps you both to bond quickly and strongly when you join the team, and eventually people start joking that the two of you are attached at the hip. and it's pretty much true; when you aren't together you're texting, sending memes back and forth and talking about how bored or entertained you were in the moment. during missions, you're checking in with each other every few minutes, to the point where simon starts getting annoyed.

✧ ˖ ° price can see it in you the same way he can see it in so many of the recruits that join the military seeking purpose and approval. you're looking for a reason that others will give you to keep going, and he wants to tell you that you need to find your own reason, that you will find your own reason, but it's not something for him to explain. instead, he'll show you a gentleness that he doesn't often show; it's not outright obvious, not enough that others besides probably the rest of the 141 will notice, but it's enough that you'll see it. encouragement and very slowly helping you build your confidence is the road price takes to help you. quiet affirmations after training sessions, positive feedback surrounding the negative, a heavy hand thumping against your back when you do well- price is quiet, but he notices.

✧ ˖ ° as for johnny, well... he's not oblivious, per say, but he'll be somewhere along the "realization scale" close to kyle. it's not something that he's personally worried about himself all that much. johnny knows his talents and capabilities, and the confidence he's built up after a decade in the military is unquestionable. but you haven't had as long as him, as any of them to climb to their level of self-assurance, and he's aware of that much at least.

✧ ˖ ° when he sees you struggling internally with your self-doubt, johnny always swoops in with something to lighten your mood. he brings up that you've mastered a particular move in training already or how impressed he was that you're already able to bring himself down while sparring. johnny sticks near you when he can; he'll eat meals with you and work out with you and just enjoy your company during your free time at the base. if he sees you struggling with something during training, you become certain that he'll always pull you aside after everyone leaves and help you until you've got it down.

✧ ˖ ° as a whole, the men of the 141 task force aren't great at outright reassurance and emotional help. they're hardened soldiers who've proven their worth time and time again, but they know you haven't had a chance to yet. so with their unknowingly combined forces, they'll do their best to make sure you do get that chance, to make sure that you know how much of an irreplaceable and valuable cog in their well-oiled machine you've become.

[altbite]

Child’s Play

Summary: You got injured because of Konig

Konig x GN!Reader - Enemies to ?? oneshot

Readers Callsign: Socks (I like this callsign so imma ause it for the foreseeable future)

Unrelated to my last oneshot “Silly Things” (or a potential sequel lmao. Because of the same callsign, you are allowed to link them if you want)

_

“Fuck you”

“Fuck you so much. God what is wrong with you? You seriously chose to kill that guy over saving my ass?”

“You lived, didn't you?”

You scoff, “By “lived” you mean barely got away alive? sure, yea no totally. Not like I ended up with two stab wounds and a bullet in my shoulder, but no yea I’m alive. No thanks to you”.

You and Konig had been yelling at each other for the last 10 minutes after you got released from med bay. You were pissed at him. It was bad enough you two didn’t get along on base, but on field? It was a new territory that he crossed. Rules are simple: you watch each others back, no matter what.

Price had walked in before more words were spoken. “Enough. Socks, Konig, Quit it”. You both turned to glare at the older man, who had bags under his eyes that could go on for days. “But Captain, He-”, you attempted to get a word in but Price raised his hand and cut you off.

“I said enough. Konig, your job was to watch their back, and NOT let them get shot. Socks, you were meant to make sure the room was clear in the first place. As far as I’m aware, you both suck at following instructions. You are both lucky to be alive”.

You and Konig both felt uneasy with Price now yelling at both of you. It wasn’t uncommon but you didn’t enjoy getting in trouble, much less getting yelled at.

“Now with that being said, you are both suspended until further notice. I suggest you get your shit together, both of you”

You glare back at Konig, who is refusing to acknowledge you. “Yes sir”, you say, walking off. You walk down to your room, your thoughts racing while really wanting to lay your head on pillow and hope its cold. You get into your room, stare around the room whilst standing in the door frame, sighing and closing the door behind you as you approach your bed. Plopping down, you can’t help all the negative feelings piling up. You heard a brief knock on your door, and saw Soap come in. He joined you on your bed, “Captain give you a hard time?”.

“Don’t even get me started Soap”, you rub your forehead with you palm. “How you doing?”, you asked him, hoping to get a distraction. “Better than you, Socks”. He moved your t-shirt up to examine the wounds you received and their stitching. “Some sexy scars your gonna have mate”, tracing his fingers around them. You chuckled. Soap knew how to lift your mood, even for a moment. “Thanks, I tried”. 

“At least you’re exempted from training for now”, Soap chuckled. A wave of uncomfortable silence filled the room, “Soap...I got suspended”

“Oh fuck”.

“Oh fuck my ass. It wasn’t just me though. Konig got suspended too, until further notice. The fuck am I gonna do now?”, you sighed in defeat but it was the truth. You hadn’t a clue of what to do now.

“I got one for you”, Soap commented as you looked at him for his answer.

“Recover”.

[karma-vvitch]

l'amour de ma vie

Thought I was depressed or losing my mind My stomach upset almost all of the time But after I left, it was obvious why (oh), mm Because for you, you I was the love of your life, mm But you were not mine (but you were not mine)

𝕲𝖊𝖓𝖗𝖊: Angst

𝕻𝖆𝖎𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌: Bucky Barnes x GN!Reader

𝖂𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘:  Hurt/No Comfort, Angst fest lmao, Bucky’s kinda a dick in this one (so for all the ppl who don’t like reading Bucky in a negative light, this isn’t for you babe. *I’m ppl), The reader is implied to be chubby/plus size, slight body insecurity, but I think reader girl bossed in this (maybe it’s just me), AGAIN THERE IS NO FLUFF HERE ABSOLUTELY NONE. 

“You ruined me” You glared at him “You ruined me, Bucky Barnes” It’s been 2 weeks and 3 days since Bucky broke up with me. The audacity of that man. I don’t know where it went wrong. Was it when he started coming home late? Or when he started sleeping on the couch? There were too many instances to count. I guess the straw that broke the camel’s back was when he left his phone on the counter, Sharon’s contact notification glowed brightly. “We should stop this” God I thought for once I wasn’t an idiot, but once again my ego was shattered. That fucker told me he loved me, all of me. From my smile, to my curves, to my thighs. And yet he still went for miss perfect. “Baby–” The asshole spoke. “Baby? Seriously Barnes? Trying to soften me up? We’re SO past that!” I laugh incredulously. Fighting the tears welling in my eyes. “You promised me! You dick! You promised me! You said you looked past this–” gesturing to my body “I thought you saw me for me, Bucky!” He looked embarrassed. Good. “Baby, can we please not do it here?” He looked around the common room we were standing in. The place occupied by the team who were in awe and disbelief on what’s going on. This bitch “Oh! You’re embarassed? Good, let them see your shame for the lying, cheating piece of shit that you are!” Gasps are echoed throughout the room. The woman in question as well, finally, looking away in shame. Bucky looked helpless. The severity of the situation finally hitting him like a freight train. “Please, it was a mistake. Yes, I’m a huge asshole for hurting you. You have all the right. I love you. What I did will haunt me for the rest of my life and I’m sorry–” tears flowing freely from his eyes at this point “I’m so so sorry” The sight before you could’ve made you fold easily. Bucky on his knees, grovelling. Your Bucky who held you when your friends abandoned you. Your Bucky who drove you to McDonald’s at 3am to get nuggets. Your Bucky who dropped everything just to go home and take care of you at your lowest. For a second you thought that everything happening at the moment was just a bad dream. He would never hurt you… But he did. His cries snapped you back to reality. “I broke up with you because I was a coward, I thought I could fix myself and come back to your life a better man– I should’ve told you sooner” All I could do is stare at him, emotionless and numb. What does one even do in this situation? The (once) love of your life, who has hurt you beyond any comprehension is grovelling at your feet. Should I say something? Should I lash out at him? Should I make him get up? It was all becoming too much In the end, I just turned my heel and left. The echoes of his increasing sobs and pleas following me. Good.

𝕹𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖘: This may or may not be based on real-life... Oops. The angst gods were coursing through me ngl. I haven't written in months so this is exciting. The depression is still there and thriving but I'm not gonna let it stop me from doing what I love :>. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this. Hopefully, I get to write more Bucky stuff (I promise there will be more fluff. God knows this man deserves it). Anyway, hope y'all have a great day/night! xoxo

𝕿𝖆𝖌𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙: None yet!

[kaownah]

finally finished kinnporshe, and tbh im sad bc i wanted so badly to absolutely love it but i have so many mixed feelings

just some thoughts:

bad stuff first

1. i really did like the show up until around ep 6-7, then things just slowly (then very quickly) started falling apart tbh

2. lots of pacing issues, some plot holes, predictability

3. was i supposed to care about kim/chay at all? like? chay’s obsession with kim was so goofy and their chemistry was nonexistent like what a horrendously pointless plotline tbh they should’ve just cut the couple all together it literally added nothing (give jeff something with substance please i beg)

4. speaking of chay... barcode’s acting.... um. chile anyways so

5. i loved kinnporsche’s dynamic but then after they got together they totally fell flat and were like every other mediocre 2d couple i’ve seen in less hyped bl’s like... where did that fun dynamic go

6. why was everyone so stupid for most of the second half? where was the common sense? tankhun of all people was really the one with the most common sense tbh he said “why are you all suddenly becoming stupid” and he meant that

7. there so much hype for vegaspete, i was SO excited for them going into this and? all we were given was torture, a sort of stockholm syndrome, then pete left. i have some qualms about bible’s acting too (it took him a while to find his footing but he wasn’t bad later on, i’d say the tail end of pete’s captivity onward he got substantially better). with the relationship, not enough happened to justify pete’s feelings for vegas. i can kind of see why vegas feels how he does for pete, although it feels very shallow and like he is far too dependent on pete, considering literally the only reason he didn’t shoot himself was bc pete came back. as for pete... i just don’t buy the whole starting to love vegas while being held captive/tortured, just bc he felt bad for him regarding his dad? idk

8. by the end watching it felt like a chore... idk i just wish the energy and spirit and quality of the first maybe 5-ish episodes stuck around bc everything after that was just. boring. flat. predictable. kinda cringe-y at a lot of points

9. character development was really there at first and then it’s like it was too much work for them bc they just seemed to drop it at a certain point and personalities just started completely being drained out of everyone

10. this is a small random thing but it kept bothering me... people would have their guns out and trained on someone, and then gave that person enough time to slowly, VERY visibly get their guns out so there could be a showdown? like what’s the point of having your gun trained on someone if you’re gonna allow them to point one back??? shit made no sense lmao

11. unrealistic fights... tbh this isn’t just kinnporsche, it’s a big theme in action genre in general, but like.. wym everyone has guns and aren’t shy in shooting until the mains get close, then suddenly they’re given enough time to take out massive groups one by one bc the enemies just... let them. plenty of instances of characters taking down a baddie and then just standing there before the next guy comes up, which would’ve been ample time to get shot, but the baddies are just like nah let’s fist fight :) i understand plot armor but at least make it make sense

honorable mention: i know subtitles aren’t production’s fault so i’m not going to fault them for this but. holy shit. who was subtitling this, they were absolutely godawful ie. changing curses into ‘fudge’, ‘frick’, etc (are we six? why can we see murder and violence but curse words are where lines are drawn), and grammar being butchered

okay i know i listed all these negative points, i will say that the show wasn’t a COMPLETE flop. some positives...

1. apo was great. i loved the little mannerisms he gave porsche, the physicality of him, just overall i really enjoyed his acting

2. build was also consistently good. for most of the series, he wasn’t given as much to do, but he really was a standout particularly at the end of the series (that tub scene was a shining light in a show that otherwise had dulled by this point) and pete’s journey was actually interesting but imo we just weren’t given enough time with it

3. i know vegaspete was a negative but i will say that there could be some positives there. they could have a very interesting dynamic if were given enough time with them and really got to the root of their motives with each other. i MIGHT be interested in having a story about them, but i’d be really wary about the story going in the same direction as kinnporsche (initially interesting before turning into something kinda boring)

4. the theme song. THE THEME SONG. A BOP. it’s such an earworm omg it’ll be stuck in my head for months

finally.. the final ep. this one really can’t go into the negatives or positives. on one hand, this episode finally marked a massive uptick in quality after so many boring eps. not only was it unpredictable as hell, but we finally got our characters finding their personalities again, common sense made a return, and we ACTUALLY got some mafia activity. i signed up for a show with gang/mob plotline, and it felt like we had lost virtually all of that for the second half of the series. why couldn’t we have had quality like this in pervious eps? i’m not saying there had to be a shootout in every episode, but something with psychological meat. with that being said, i think they kind of overdid the plot twists in the finale. it was one after another after another of shit going down and pasts being revealed and characters kind of going batshit, that it really started to get ridiculous by the time porsche’s mom and korn were revealed to still be alive. korn’s reasoning for everything that happened was so silly that it really made me pause the ep entirely just to be like... are you fr? really? goofy stuff. also, throwing in the casual mention of sexual violence against one of the show’s only women as a reason for angst for the male characters was so beyond lame and unnecessary. idk how i felt about the whole porsche being head of the minor family, it was fine ig. overall, the final ep really gave me whiplash

idk i’m just so sad bc at this point 99% of the super super hyped thai shows i go into at this point i wind up being disappointed in?? and i want so badly to bc the ones that hit REALLY hit. but they’re just so rare. idk like japan has completely taken over in terms of quality imo, i really don’t trust thai bls anymore atp which is sad bc even the ones that are finally taking a step away from the insanely overused tropes wind up boring or poorly written in the end 

anyway just my opinion let me wallow!!

[dirty-bear-rick-sanchez]

Fractal Dust

Time for more porn! Rickcest this time. I’ve been sitting on this one for a while trying to work up the courage to post it (it was actually the first RnM fic I wrote but I didn’t want to jump straight into posting my fic with smut lmao). I’m planning for it to be a part of a series of Rickcest oneshots (currently I also have a C-137/Doofus Rick fic I need to iron out, as well as another one that… didn’t end up having any actual sex in it so might end up not being part of this series lol).

Summary: Rick goes to the newly-built Citadel, where he meets another Rick in a bar and they hook up. ~2k words. As always with my explicit fic, minors please DNI! Warnings for drug/alcohol use and sex to cope with negative thoughts (i.e. Prime and what he did).

Details: fairly vanilla, just a blowjob. There are elements of things like hair-pulling, praise kink, sexual shaming, but they’re all very light. However, there is a little bit of hesitancy and brief discussion about whether or not Rickcest/selfcest is incest (it’s not), so if that squicks you out too much I would avoid this, but it is very brief and not heavy.

Rick walks through the newly-built Citadel, tuning out the ramblings of the Rick who has been assigned to be his guide. Rick doesn’t particularly care what the other Rick has to say, since he’s confident that the systems he designed and helped put into place will detect the guy he’s looking for if he ever comes near this place, which is the only thing he cares about. Despite all this, Rick knows this is an impossible task, that no one will be able to find this guy. Still, at least this way he has others looking as well, and his agreement to stop killing other Ricks means that other Ricks will no longer be trying to kill him. 

This train of thought depresses Rick, and he reaches for his flask to block it out, only to find barely a trickle of liquid left inside.

“Yeah, yeah, that’s great. Listen, is there anywhere a guy can get a drink ‘round here?” he interrupts the other Rick, expecting an equally surly response. Instead, the other Rick laughs.

“Dude, this is the Citadel of Ricks. You think there’s gonna be a shortage of bars?”

“Fine, let’s go.”

The other Rick makes some sort of snarky reply that Rick ignores, choosing instead to follow his guide to, presumably, a bar.

They arrive at an establishment advertising itself as ‘Rick’s Cafe’, which Rick’s brain vaguely registers as some sort of exceptionally uncreative movie reference, but this thought is pushed aside in favour of the much more important recognition that this ‘cafe’ serves alcohol. Rick orders and downs a whiskey, and is halfway through his second one before he hears a voice - not from the guide on his left, but from a stranger on his right.

“Rough day, huh?”

Rick keeps drinking, flicking his eyes to the side to see another Rick - obviously - albeit one slightly more muscular than average, wearing an oil-stained boiler suit. Rick pointedly ignores him and goes to order another drink before being interrupted.

“Hey, it’s on me.” the other Rick offers.

Rick shrugs. “Be my guest.”

He’s numb enough that he doesn’t realise what the other Rick ordered until it’s placed in front of him, a huge and sweet-smelling explosion of colour with what appears to be half a fruit salad as a garnish. He’s mildly surprised, but alcohol is alcohol.

“Uh, thanks, man.” he says awkwardly, finding the straw amongst the mass of fruit as quickly as he can.

“You look like you need it. And hey, consider it thanks for not trying to kill me.”

Panicked thoughts shoot through Rick’s mind before he realises that this Rick is just referring to the truce he’d made with the Council. He shrugs again.

“As long as you’re not the Rick who killed my family, you’re off the hook.”

Suddenly, he feels the touch of a hand on his and just barely manages to stop himself flinching. He turns to see the other Rick staring at him with something genuine in his eyes.

“I hope you find him.”

“Y-yeah, uh,” Rick pulls his hand back. “Me too.”

Rick continues drinking, pausing occasionally to stir the cocktail with his straw and watch the colours swirl and mix. As he’s staring, a hand comes across and steals a strawberry from the top of the glass. He follows the motion with his eyes to see the other Rick smirking.

“I paid for it, didn’t I?” the other Rick speaks teasingly, edging his tongue out slowly and much further than necessary to eat the fruit. Rick feels a strange but familiar glow in his stomach, and he can’t decide if it’s good or bad. The other Rick leans in closer and whispers.

“Hey, I’ve got a room upstairs and I just got some fractal dust if you wanna come with.” he leans back and drains his glass before walking off, pausing to glance back at Rick before he rounds the corner.

“Eh, fuck it.” Rick finishes his drink and follows. He knows the other Rick is flirting, but he could really do with something stronger to take his mind off things. Besides, this isn’t the worst thing he’s done for a high. 

The other Rick is waiting at the end of the hallway by a lift. The doors open, revealing it to be empty, and he pulls Rick inside by the front of his lab coat. As the doors slide shut, the other Rick presses his mouth to Rick’s, his tongue pressing against his lips, trying to find its way in. Rick guesses he’s committed now and opens his mouth, tasting the strawberry his other self had eaten a moment earlier, its sweetness quickly overpowered by the much stronger taste of alcohol. The other Rick’s mouth is warm and soft, and Rick finds it easy to look past the fact that this is another version of himself. 

The spell is broken by the ding indicating they’ve arrived at the correct floor, and Rick allows himself to be led to room 420.

“Heh, nice.” he mutters, just a beat off from the other Rick, and they both snicker.

The other Rick opens the door and Rick follows behind him.

“Make yourself comfortable.” 

Rick obeys, sinking down onto the bed as the other Rick rummages through drawers, before turning around with the promised drug in the crook of his hand. Rick takes the offered hand and snorts the fractal dust, feeling his mind finally start to cloud satisfactorily. The negative thoughts are vaguely present, but any complicated thought is difficult to access without concerted effort, so Rick is content to leave it alone. The other Rick snorts his own portion, and Rick sees his face relax into what must be the same expression as his own. He wonders whether he should carry on with the hook-up or not, but he’s cut off by the feeling of lips pressed against his. Any thoughts of hesitancy are quickly washed away by the wave of pleasure brought on by the combination of the kiss and the high.

As the other Rick pulls back, Rick feels a hot rush of blood to his crotch and is reminded of another pleasurable effect of fractal dust. The other Rick is practically sitting on his lap, so he notices too, and makes no attempt at hiding it, looking down at Rick’s groin and then back up to his face with a devilish grin.

“You want to do this, then?”

“Well, y-yeah, but is this… incest?” 

Even through the haze of the drug, Rick feels embarrassed to be asking this question, but he’s still conflicted on how he feels about fucking himself. The other Rick glances away and exhales a laugh. 

“Oh, wow, you really haven’t done this before, have you?”

“Well, I spent the past couple decades killing every Rick I saw, so what do you think?” Rick snaps defensively.

The other Rick raises his hands in surrender and gives another half-laugh, half-exhale. 

“Whoa, whoa, hey, it’s OK.” He leans forward, placing one hand on Rick’s thigh and resting the other on his cheek. “Just means I’ll be extra-gentle.”

He strokes his thumb over Rick’s face and tenderly, almost chastely, kisses his lips.

“And to answer your question, no. Just think of it like masturbating, with extra steps.”

He presses his lips to Rick’s again, harder this time, and runs a hand through his hair, tugging it ever so slightly in the way that Rick likes. He shifts position and Rick can feel that he’s hard too, his erection pressing into Rick’s thigh.

The other Rick pulls Rick’s hair again, harder this time, and Rick moans softly. Barely pulling back from the kiss, the other Rick mutters.

“Do you want me to go down on you?”

Rick nods in reply, and the other Rick smirks.

“What was that?”

“Yes.” Rick almost whimpers.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes. Please.” Rick begs, ashamed and horny and desperate.

“Good boy.” the other Rick whispers into his ear, then moves to kiss his neck as his hands work to undo Rick’s trousers. Rick moans again, louder this time, realising the benefits of fucking someone who knows from firsthand experience exactly what turns you on.

The other Rick moves his head down between Rick’s thighs and, for a moment, Rick is struck by the novelty of seeing his own head from an angle he’d never seen it from before. He thinks of prior encounters with Diane, Unity, Mr Nimbus, and many others, and realises that they’d seen him in this exact position before. He only has a split second to process how hot he finds this before the other Rick kisses and then gently bites his inner thigh, just hard enough to be felt, but nowhere near enough to hurt. An involuntary gasp tears itself from Rick’s throat and the other Rick looks up at him and grins.

“Jesus, Rick, I haven’t even touched your dick yet and you’re ready to blow.”

“Sh-shut up.”

“All this time, the Council have been desperate to stop C-137, but all they needed was to pull your hair and suck your dick and you’d have done whatever they wanted, wouldn’t you? You little slut.”

Rick knows he’s blushing furiously but all he can think about is how turned on he is and how badly he needs a release and his hand moves towards his dick without him even realising.

The other Rick grabs his hand away and guides it to his own hair.

“Hey, if I’m doing this for you, you could at least do something for me.” 

Rick’s fingers tangle into his other self’s hair obligingly, and he hears the strange sound of his own moan of pleasure coming from someone else’s throat. Before he has a chance to decide if it makes him feel turned on or self-conscious or both, the other Rick places his lips on the end of his dick and just holds them there, no sucking, no tongue. Even this sensation is almost enough to make him cum, and he blushes harder as he remembers the other Rick’s teasing from a minute ago. After what feels like eternity, he can’t take it anymore.

“Please.” he whines, barely able to speak.

“Please what?” taunts the other Rick, not moving his mouth from its current position, and the breathy vibrations against the head of his penis make Rick feel like he’s about to pass out with the need for more.

“Please… please suck my dick.” Rick manages, the words dragging themselves out of his lips through ragged breaths.

“Well, since you asked so nicely~” the other Rick simpers, Rick once again crying out pathetically from the feeling of his breath. His whimper turns into a yell he couldn’t stop if he wanted to once the other Rick actually follows through and starts sucking. 

In one moment, Rick is hyper-aware of every little sensation: the air on his skin, the soft cotton bedsheets on his bare ass, the tickle of the other Rick’s hair on his thighs; in the next, all he can feel is the hot pleasure pulsing through his dick, the other Rick’s mouth sucking and tongue swiping, and he forgets that there’s anything else in the whole universe other than the waves of pleasure coursing through him. 

All too soon, Rick loses control, feeling as if he might black out from the intensity of the orgasm surging through his entire body. He falls back onto the bed like a puppet whose strings have been cut, panting and gasping. The other Rick stands up, Rick’s cum dribbling from his mouth. He goes in for a final kiss, making Rick taste and swallow some of his own semen. The other Rick pulls back slightly but remains just a few inches away from Rick’s face, both of them still breathing heavily.

“Thank you.” Rick pants, and a small part of him cringes, but it’s quickly blocked by the drugs and the post-orgasmic bliss. Thankfully, the other Rick doesn’t seem to mind, simply chuckling and pressing a kiss to Rick’s head.

“Good boy.” he mumbles into Rick’s hair.

Rick knows he should reciprocate, but the heavy weight of the fractal dust and the deepest relaxation he’s felt in days drags him down into irresistible sleep. 

[hiddennerdworld]

MHA Couples Dynamics with art by @leecheedoodles| Too Cool for Skool x Keener (Reader x Iida)

Masterlist

Warnings: none, all fluff stuff

A/N: eeeee I’m so excited about this. I saw this art and immediately was inspired. I would really like to do a series based on these. This is all thanks to leechee doodles here on Tumblr. They are v talented so check them out! I’ve seen others use their art, but if they don’t want me to I can always take it down. Enjoy :)

You and Iida definitely got off on the wrong foot

You guys didn’t hate each other per say, but you annoyed each other for sure

Iida just wanted his fellow classmates to be successful and tried to encourage you as class rep. And you just wanted to only take part in the aspects of hero work that you actually enjoy

In your own ways, you both stressed each other out

Iida would give you lectures any time you ditched class, saying you needed to be responsible in order to be the best hero you can be

You just stood and rolled your eyes the entire time with your arms crossed over your chest

Eventually, one day Iida just said fuck it (he didn’t actually phrase it that way bc he doesn’t use the bad words) and picked you up and carried you to class.

The whole time with you kicking and screaming, which doesn’t affect him bc he’s a fucking tree

This became routine. Iida was with you almost 24/7, keeping you in line. This caused even more tension between you guys

“I don’t need a babysitter!”

“Well you wouldn’t if you stopped acting like a baby and attended to your duties!” *snickers* “You’re gonna tell me you’re not a baby when you can’t even not laugh at the word ‘duty’?!!!”

The bickering wouldn’t stop and it was driving EVERYONE crazy

So as Aizawa solves all problems, he paired up the duo with pent up frustration for their final exam

You guys were rolling your eyes when you saw you had to work together but weren’t surprised tbh

It seemed like you guys weren’t gonna make it, but at the last second you were able to distract Cementoss and give Iida an in to dash up and capture him

You guys cheered and high fived when you realized you’d passed, the negative feelings towards each other forgotten

Afterward you guys had a talk.

“Good job out there today, Iida. I’m impressed on how you came up with a strategy so quick. I guess studying so much does actually help, huh.”

“Thank you, L/N! I appreciate the kind words, especially coming from someone who has such good control over their quirk like yourself!”

The whole time both of you were staring at the ground, blushing to hard to look at the other person while complimenting them. Iida still did the hand waving tho lmao

Afterwards, Iida still kept an eye on you always bc he thinks you have a lot of potential and wants you to do well

And you don’t find him as annoying anymore, so don’t really try to avoid him

This ends up with you guys basically just hanging out rather than him chaperoning you.

Training, studying, making food, you guys are together a lot

You and Iida occupied a table in the dining area for your studies for the millionth night in a row. The other students know better than to disturb you at this point. Yes, you guys are friends now, but you still bicker like an old married couple.

“I could really go for some ice cream right now,” you said while leaning back in your chair.

“L/N! You know that stuff isn’t good for you! Why do you wish to consume such sugary content?! Why don’t you eat an apple instead?!”

“I don’t think that’s how cravings work. Besides we have training tomorrow and always so I will still be keeping myself in shape. It’s one treat.”

“L/N, we are studying to become the best heroes! We need to be responsi-“

“But that’s just it! We are always going to be working to be the best we can be. You need to be able to enjoy yourself. Life isn’t all about work, you know?” You said standing up and grabbing his arm, “We’re going out. Come on!”

“Absolutely not! It is after curfew! It would be dangerous and-“ Iida lectured on and on until you guys were basically in front of the ice cream place. He tried to get you to stay back, but you were surprisingly strong when you were determined. (Also, he probably wasn’t resisting as much as he could’ve).

You guys went in and ordered. You got cookie dough with some chocolate syrup on top, and Iida got a scoop of vanilla on a cone, only because you insisted he get something. After you got the ice cream you went to a nearby park and sat on a bench.

“Mmmmmm this is so good. Totally worth it.” You say as you take your first bite, eyes closed while enjoying the delicious dessert.

“I’m not sure if it was worth breaking the rules, but as long you are enjoying yourself I guess it’s alright.”

“That’s because you got the most boring flavor. Here try some of mine.” You said raising a spoonful up to him.

This caused his face to go red and he stared at you with wide eyes for a few seconds before speaking. “No, L/N! I appreciate the offer but it would be inappropriate. Mine is perfectly fine and-“

As he was rambling, you shoved the spoon in his mouth, making him blush even harder. “L/N! You could’ve choked me.”

“But was it good though?”

“Yes, I suppose so.” He said at almost a whisper.

A shit-eating grin grew on your face, “Told ya so. See, Iida look.” You gestured over to the sight in front of you. There were people scattered throughout the park enjoying their night, and you could even see the glowing city in the distance. “We are a part of what makes this all possible. There wouldn’t be people out here living their lives if we didn’t keep them safe. It may not be too often, but we still get to relish in the world we created too. It reminds us why we do what we do.”

Iida couldn’t help but just stare at you for a hot minute. You looked gorgeous under the moonlight while you looked around in awe. You were more wise than he ever gave you credit for. He had always thought you were carefree, but actually you just had cared about things differently than him and he failed to realize.

“You’re right, L/N. We should be able to enjoy this more often.”

“We?”

“Of course. Why would I do something fun without you?” Now you started to get all flustered. Feeling heat rush to your face, you covered it with your hands and looked toward the ground. “Are you alright? Sorry I didn’t mean to say anything that would upset you.”

“No, don’t worry. You didn’t upset me. I would love to spend some time with you.”

So you guys did. Well you already spent a lot of time together already but now you guys would go out and do something fun if you had free time

Like instead of training on the weekends, you guys sometimes walked around the park.

And every time you’d go, you guys would also visit the ice cream shop you guys went to that one night and try a new flavor

You also were participating more in class. You’re grades were getting better from the beginning of your guys’ relationship, but now you actually were invested.

After a test, you would show Iida your grade and thank him for all his help, and he would be so proud and excited for you

Of course, your classmates started to catch onto you guys being more and more friendly with each other

Hagakure snuck up on you guys one day while you were studying. “Alright, when did you two start dating? We all thought you hated each other but now we know it was all an act to throw us off, so spill the beans.”

“Oh, no we’re not dating.” You replied

“Well..” Iida started to talk and your eyes darted towards him

“I mean now that someone has said it, I wouldn’t be opposed to dating you, L/N. I really enjoy my time with you and think you’re a great person. Could I take you on an official date?”

“Y-yea I would really like that.”

“Awwww that was so adorable! I can’t believe I just help you guys get together!” She skipped out of the room, on her way to tell everyone her accomplishments

“Sorry, L/N, that probably wasn’t the best timing.”

“Call me Y/N”

“O-oh okay… Y/N. I’m looking forward to going out with you.”

“Me too, Tenya.” You said smiling and grabbing his hand.

Barely anything was said the rest of the time, but you guys couldn’t stop smiling and you didn’t let go of each other’s hands. Safe to say no information was retained from this study session

[cdroloisms]

I just had an idea plaguing me involving sensory deprivation, what if just Dream goes hard on jumping on lava too much, Warden just blockades that lava with obsidian, it goes on for months, and when they discovered that its far too long, Dream has long broken anything he can break despite the mining fatigue, there's no light, just a perfect square box of obsidian and one block of water, they find the one they trapped in soltitude either in the corner farthest from the water, or in the water, Dream being too deprived of anything other than the heat of the blocks or too used in the wetness of the pool that is often in near boiling temps.

(If its alright can I go for anon XP?)

XP

RIGHT,, the cell is such a terrible place i cant imagine that staying somewhere like that would be good for ANYONE for extended periods of time ,, on top of the already abysmal human interaction that place. is such a hellhole. (and sure thing XP!) 

i kinda took this in a completely different (and fluffier) direction, but yeah !! post-prison c!dream is gonna have a lot to work through LMAO 

tw: sensory overload, mentioned injuries (aftermath of torture), panic attacks, sensory deprivation and self-destruction in ask

“Shit!”

Techno watches quietly as Dream stumbles into the couch (again) and bursts into a flurry of curses (again). Ever since leaving the prison, Dream’s been improving substantially, had grown strong enough to start moving outside of his room a week or so back, and his injuries seem to be manageable enough today for the other man to actually walk around instead of staying in bed the entire day. By all means, it should be a decent day; Dream groans, again, flopping onto the couch and immediately burying his hands in his hair, which seems to be as good of a sign as any that it isn’t one.

“Hey, nerd,” Techno walks over, not missing the way Dream flinches at the sound of his voice, burying his head further into the cushions of the couch he’s lying on. “What’s up?”

“The sky,” Dream mutters, sounding murderous, and Techno reevaluates again. If his rival is feeling good enough to snark, then he’s probably not doing too bad.

“That’s the oldest reply in the book to that question, you know,” he drawls, deadpan, as he goes to get some breakfast for himself and a glass of water, at least, for his disgruntled guest, “I’m almost disappointed.”

“Sorry if I’m a bit rusty. It’s hardly like there was any way to practice socializing in the prison,” Dream huffs, annoyance coloring his words. “I’d hardly consider Quackity a good conversation partner.”

“Fair enough.” He reaches for the pitcher, filling the glass halfway with water and grabbing a straw from counter to place in the cup. Dream groans again, ignoring him as he puts the glass down on the table at the end of the couch. He makes no move towards it, and Techno watches him for a few seconds, trying to decide whether or not the concern is worth it. Babyrage, Chat states sagely, and Techno shakes his head. Probably not.

“You should probably drink some water,” Techno says before leaving to go train, because he’s a decent person and wants to help even if he has no idea how to handle the pile of person lying unresponsive on his couch at the minute, grumbling to himself and completely ignorant of everything outside of his own little bubble, “I’m going to go out and train for a bit.”

Unfortunately, when he comes back, the water is still full and Dream’s still lying on the couch, though he’s moved slightly from the morning. Where he’d been relatively splayed out earlier, legs straight and arms in front of him much like a stretching cat, he’s all hunched up into a ball now, arms crossed over the back of his head and knees tucked under his chest. Techno’s half convinced that the other is sleeping, but the sound of the door closing has him curling even more into himself with a full-body flinch that has him hesitating in the middle of hanging his cloak up. Chat yells at him, not making his life any easier

babyrage?

Dream crying?

is he okay?

E E E E

“Dream?” Dream jerks back, again at his words, arms pressing tighter over his head, and Techno frowns at the clear negative reaction. Yeah, Dream has times where he’d be panicking too hard to realize that the person calling for him is an ally and not an enemy, but this doesn’t look exactly like a panic attack, or anything he’s seen from the other man before. He looks more - frustrated, almost, but not exactly, something more desperate clinging to the ways he moves and the curl of his spine as he huddles into himself on the couch. Chat, as it usually does when he’s faced with any problem that can’t be immediately solved with a sword, goes to its only other option.

call phil

Phil !!

dadza

philza Pog

“Quiet, Chat,” he mutters to himself, frowning when Dream seizes, again, at the sound. “Fine. We’ll call Phil.”

---

Phil enters the house with a relatively bemused expression, one of his crows perched, self-satisfied, on the top of his hat, and Techno winces around Chat’s usual overenthusiastic greeting as Phil and his crows ease themselves into the hallway. His eyes flick to Dream, who has yet to move from his ball on the couch, and Phil’s gaze follows his own.

“He alright, mate?” Phil frowns, and Techno’s hand raises to the back of his neck sheepishly.

“He seems fine, physically, but he’s been on the couch all day,” he shrugs. “It’s pretty normal for the nerd, but he seems a little- more out of it, than normal, and Chat recommended calling you, and-” he falters, flailing his arms in a helpless attempt to explain. “Yeah.”

Phil, being Phil (and by that, he means being the best person on this entire hell of a server), takes his explanation with little questioning and moves towards the unmoving lump on the couch, leaving Techno to trail awkwardly behind, surrounded on all sides by a flurry of black feathers. Dream hardly moves on the couch, making some sort of strangled noise that could be a “Hi Phil” and could just be a low groan. Phil watches him with a quizzical look for a few seconds before looking up at Techno.

“Techno, can you close the blinds for a second? I want to try something.”

“Uh,” Techno shrugs, going to the windows. Anything for Phil, Chat chants, and well, he’s not exactly going to disagree. “Sure.”

A few minutes later, the windows are all closed, the smallest slivers of light shining through the closed curtains and into the otherwise dark room. On the couch, Dream visibly loosens, just a little, and Phil smiles.

“That’s what I thought.” Phil turns back to Dream, pitching his voice low. “That better, mate?”

Dream makes another incomprehensible sound, but this one sounds much more agreeable and less like the other man is on the verge of murdering someone, and Techno’s kind of floundering, but who’s to judge? Phil! Chat chants again, philza Pog and here, at least, their sentiments match his own. Phil is just magic, sometimes. It happens.

Phil laughs, low and soft, looking over at him from the corner of his eye.

“I think it was just too loud for him, mate,” he says, guiding them out of the room into the hallway, and Techno’s confusion must show on his face because Phil’s hands move in front of him, gesturing vaguely as he explains. “I doubt the cell had a lot of- sights, or sounds, and he was stuck in there for a while. Everything out here is so different- his brain must’ve just shorted out. Overloaded.”

Overload- sensory overload- oh. That makes…a lot more sense.

Chat immediately starts screaming, and Techno grumbles, feeling a headache of his own creeping up from the back of his skull. “Quiet, Chat, you guys weren’t all that helpful either,” Phil laughs again, used to his tirades against Chat, and fondness swells in his chest even as he focuses on the crowds spamming E and not pog in his head again. “And to be fair, sensory overload looks way different from the outside compared to when you’re the one going through it.”

Even through the usual annoyance at Chat, Techno feels for Dream - overload is annoyingly common phenomenon for him, between the mess that makes up Chat and his usual mess of a brain, and he sympathizes with the days where his skull feels too small for his brain and everything is edging on the side of too loud and too bright. He feels a little dumb for not realizing it earlier, and Chat’s repeated calls of L are hardly making him feel better, but oh well. As long as there isn’t anything seriously wrong with the nerd.

He’ll have to look into some ear muffs or something in the meantime.

[ash-mcj]

hi!!! question - do u think Dylan is gonna surprise us and make an appearance in the teen wolf movie? it just feels insane to me that they’d make it without him??? and also dying to know your thoughts and opinions that they announced a character as “Derek’s son” ?? It’s all very wild to me and idk how to feel I need you to tell me how to feel

[I'm going to state some of my opinions because they were directly asked of me. I'm not interested in arguing with people, so if you don't agree with things that I say in this post, just keep scrolling.]

Heyy!! Hopefully my feelings on these things will help you figure out your own lmao ♥

First things first, I don't think DOB will be in the movie. As much as he has said in interviews that he loves the show, he's also expressed a lot of negatives about how it was run. I don't really think he wants to return - regardless of his excuse of liking where the show ended. He's mentioned that the show "has his heart", but I think he means that he has a nostalgic feeling about it because it was where he started as an actor, more so than his love of Teen Wolf as a series. And since he was likely being pressured to do it by fans, I'm glad that he's not forcing himself into a situation he's not excited about.

That being said, I don't think the movie would be stupid enough to pretend he doesn't exist. I'm sure there will be mentions of him - along with maybe an email, text, or phone call where the audience can't hear the other side, so they just pretend Stiles is on the phone.

Eli Hale!! Let me tell you, I am ecstatic.

Looking at the timeline and his appearance, I think the most believable mother would be Paige. He definitely looks like her and that would be a very interesting twist. Maybe a Peter situation, where Talia took memories of a baby? But I would also be very bothered, if they reused the same storyline twice in the show, so... Also, I like this idea because I've had a WIP in the works for months about teenage Paige having a baby and Sterek raising it, so this would play into my worldbuilding quite a bit haha.

The other option would be Kate, which also intrigues me. A hunter-trained werewolf, breaking free of his deranged mother's lifetime of brainwashing when he finds his father's old 'pack'? Give me that!! I would love a storyline like that and it would actually be something that would make sense for why Derek wouldn't know. He would've left to New York before Kate started showing. This could also open up the possibility for getting more information on the Argents. Maybe Eli was raised primarily by Kate's mom or some other relative, with Kate in and out of his life? I think there would be a lot of room to play around with this idea and I'm here for it. Shit, if Eli isn't Kate's, then I might need to start a new WIP.

I know people are all upset about the idea of Eli and who his mom might be, but I really don't see why. Derek is not a real person - he's a character - and it literally doesn't matter how often his past comes back to haunt him. If he's Kate's kid, then there's a lot Jeff Davis can play around with - and fanfic writers, too!

As far as I'm concerned, this movie will do three things:

revive old fandom members, along with bringing in new ones

provide and inspire new content to play around with for edits, moodboards, art, fanfic, etc.

build the Teen Wolf universe

There are no downsides to this movie. We gained a new Hale character to play with! We're getting inspiration for our content creators! We're getting to step back into Beacon Hills! And if it's horrible? Who cares?? Just pretend it didn't happen, like most of this fandom pretends seasons 4-6 didn't exist.

Why stress about a fictional movie, when you could be excited for this new Teen Wolf content?? I'm so ready for it. I'm ready to need to rewrite the whole thing and probably double my WIPs while trying to fix the dumpster fire that the movie will undoubtedly be. You bet your ass I'm getting Paramount+ as soon as the movie comes out.

[criticalrolo]

👻🙊🏊💡 for remus thalia aaaaaand one more of your choosing?

OOo these are good ones

👻 GHOST - do they believe in ghosts? what are their “ghostly experiences”, if any?

Remus: Honestly I think Remus feels more like a ghost than a person half the time, since he's become Unstuck from the timeline and can see "echoes" of the future/alternate Realities in the present. So basically -- if ghosts are real he's one of them by his own estimation!

Thalia: She's been possessed several times so she's definitely down on the Ghost are Real and Trying to Kill Me front LOL

Sigrun: Oh for sure, she's a "follower" of the Old Gods in a world that is VERY antagonistic towards people who walk the Old Paths, and she for SURE knows all about the ghosts and echoes of the past that people in this world refuse to talk about. She's also actually met Osvald as a ghost but doesn't know it was him since he was cloaked as One Of The Gods at the time!! That's gonna be fun for her to find out in game.

🙊 SPEAK-NO-EVIL - what is something your oc will refuse to stay quiet about?

Remus: Remus is ALWAYS jumping to push people to safety when he gets a vision of their impending doom. He hasn't thought about it super philosophically, but in his heart he really feels like it's his moral imperative to Help if he has the means and the knowledge to do so.

Thalia: Thalia would NOT keep her thoughts to herself when her morally questionable/straight up evil stepfather and halfbrother were being. well. themselves. so she is ALWAYS ready to argue with family when theyre being EVIL

Sigrun: She has a negative wisdom score. She's absolutely going to mention casually that she's met an emissary of the Old Gods to the wrong person right away

🏊 SWIMMING - can they swim? or are they afraid of water? how well do they swim? how do they feel about swimming in the ocean?

Remus: Actually I don't know if he's ever had the occasion to go swimming! He's lived in relatively rocky/mountainous regions his whole life so like. Maybe he's waded in a creek or spent some time learning how to float but I don't think he's a good swimmer by any stretch of the imagination. Now I really want to see how he'd react to seeing the ocean for the first time though...

Thalia: Thalia was born and raised on an island and then later lived by a seaside village, so she LOVES the water and likes how it reminds her of flying. She's a great swimmer and probably misses the ocean a lot.

Sigrun: I don't think she's afraid of swimming per se, but the last time she was in a river she was absolutely Mostly Dead and just barely managed to float towards some kind of safety so swimming is definitely going to bring up some bad memories for her. I think she CAN swim but she's NOT going to be enthusiastic about it. She'd rather have her feet on solid ground.

💡 LIGHTBULB - is your oc a planner? do they write down every small detail or just wing it?

Remus: Not a planner. Barely can keep his head screwed on straight. Has been swept up in the River of Time and is barely keeping his head above water. Has NO mental wherewithal to try to make detailed plans beyond Making It Through The Next Week

Thalia: MUCH more of a planner than some of my other characters. She wants to think things through and try to settle on something Actionable before diving into the belly of the beast. She ends up getting swept up in the moment a lot of the time, though, and has DEFINITELY been known to make some rash decisions before. Still, she's trying her best to make a plan and stick to it before life intervenes and ruins her train tracks

Sigrun: Her plan is: ahaha what if I press this big red button just to see what it does. Lol if something bad happens we'll just kill our way out and go about our day. what's the worst that could happen lmao!!

[prismartist]

predictions time babey

karl mentioned the next tales is around the same time period as mizu, and i admit that may not mean much, as the wild west and the masquerade were also set around the same time, and all we got out of that was that ranbutler was a kidnapped orphan from the western town.

but then again, mizu did have heavy references to current lore, and seeing as the upcoming episode is going to be similar in tone, i assume that will probably be the case as well. besides, this new location also exists in a period long after the dream smp, so who’s to say it doesn’t have connections too?

here’s a few things i’ve noticed in the images that karl posted on his private acc

there’s some greco-roman inspiration seen in the colosseum and what seems to be a platform in a plaza, plus the braziers

there are blue flags hung around the town, indicating a celebration or festival of sorts

the prominence of the colosseum indicates something along the lines of gladiator fights or even olympic-esque challenges, like in mcc

there’s a bit of nether material in the background of the picture of the image with the brazier; i spotted a potential nether wart farm, which is relatively normal, and a crimson root, which is definitely not. 

note that i’m going to refer to the next episode’s location as a polis, aka a city-state in greece

so, imagine some possible scenarios with me:

the slight ancient greco-roman inspiration of the next episode’s city-state contrast to mizu’s slick modern look

mizu’s oversimplification of some members, the exaggeration of others, as well as straight-up getting facts twisted, contrast to a city less isolated and surrounded by more resources, letting them learn more about them and not getting as many stories wrong

mizu praising and idolizing the characters, contrast to a polis that celebrated their eventual downfall.

a polis that knew too much about the server’s never-ending wars, the cycle of pain and abuse that its inhabitants went through, or perhaps just how cruel everyone in it was, and villainized them

or a polis that glorified those violent actions, and commemorated them through bloody fights to the death

perhaps, if we tread a bit off the train of thought here, a city that celebrates the overtaking of the dream smp through sports that act as blood sacrifices, commemorating the acts of a specific empire, similar the one it gets its architectural cues from.

an eggpire, if you will. 

one of its goals when it started out was, after all, to restore unity and peace in a way; if the polis is ruled by the eggpire it would make sense for it to view the past dream smp in a negative light

(a fun fact: gladiator battles may have descended from blood rites at funerals of aristocrats, wherein slaves or criminals would fight to spill blood, so that the deceased’s soul would be purified by it; in a way they served as human sacrifice. now i wonder where we’ve heard that before.)

mizu being inhabited by a follower of dream, and the polis being inhabited by followers of the egg.

but on the opposite end of the spectrum, there is the chance that while mizu cares so much about history, the polis cares so little

i am a little more hesitant this time to conclude the egg has anything to do with this; last time we did that with the haunted house we got jebaited lmao. though there might be a higher chance since it’s more lore-heavy this time around? but i’m not gonna get my hopes too high up. nonetheless, im excited :>>

[introverted-scribblings]

Thanks for answering my question :) I’m Jas! I was wanting to see if i could get a creepypasta matchup. This is probably gonna be pretty long since i’m awful at being consice ahhhh i’m so sorry in advance

Here are the key points, and I go into more detail about each one below!

~ Non-binary, Masc leaning

~ Pansexual, Male preference

~ 5’2”, 95 lbs (i’m scrawny)

~ Scorpio Sun and Moon, Pisces Rising

~ black hair, pink bangs, overgrown bowl cut

~ anything artsy, video games, going outdoors, collecting beer bottles and cans, child psychology, true crime, and bumblebees

~ ADHD, Autism, and Tics

~ Best Friends first, datemates second.

~ I’m super affectionate and giving. I struggle with jealousy a bit though since I can get protective but i’m working on it.

~ My family and dogs are a priority

Me and my Clothes >>

Im Nonbinary, and pansexual (male preference). Im a scorpio sun and moon with pisces rising. I’m around 5’2” and about 95 lbs. I’m pretty gangly (not tall, just gangly) and thin. I’ve got golden brown eyes that are round. My hairs naturally brown, but atm it’s black with baby pink strips in the bangs. My clothing style fluctuates from goth bimbo to cowboy to 2003 emo kid. One day i’m in a whole eboy outfit and the next ive got my boots on with blue jeans, at shirt, and a flannel. Chances are I’m gonna steal my partners clothes so uhhhh hope they have extra lmao

Mental Illness Bingo >>

I’ve got pretty bad Autism and even worse ADHD (if you haven’t noticed already lmao). I’m pretty forgetful and im also awful at picking up serious tones. if you say something that sounds slightly mean, chances are good i’m gonna get defensive. or cry. or both. Blunt communications important. I tend to stim a lot when I feel any strong emotions (negative or otherwise). when i get tired and/or cold my tics act up, and I pick up tics from other people pretty easy. My main stims are chewing on things (usually food), shaking my hands, whistling, and hitting my knuckles/wrists together. My main tics are shivers, whistling, meowing (don’t ask), and hitting my chest.

Relationship >>

In a relationship, i need it be best friends first, dating second. Having a strong emotional connection is important to me. They need to understand my boundaries as a friend before we go beyond something more. I need someone who acknowledges and understands that i’m not stupid— i just struggle with expressing myself verbally. It’s not that i forget the words (in fact i probably have the sentence I wanna say in my head) it’s just most of the time, it won’t come out of my mouth. Normally i end up trying to get my point across with agressive stutters and hand motions. That’s why *calm* communication is important to me. I need to be able to just take a minute by myself and collect my thoughts and calm down before i have a meltdown because nothing i wanna say is coming out. I’m fine if they are more touch repulsed than i am, however, i would like to at least be able to hold their hand.

Goals, Family, and Dogs >>

I’m very protective of my siblings. I’m the oldest to four, work in a kindergarten classroom, and I’m also student teaching in preschool. Protecting kids is both an instinct and a job that I don’t take lightly. My dogs are equally as important to me. I have 2 dogs that are my own, and we have 2 family dogs. My dogs are Legion, who is a 9 year old chocolate lab, and Gambit, who’s a 8mo GSP. Gambits in training to be my psychiatric service dog so he’s always with me when i go places. Plus, at the very least, Legion will sleep with me every night. Gambit normally wanders in at some point too. Both of them are massive cuddle bugs. I need someone who not only likes dogs, but is cool with them being with us. I won’t have them all of the time, but they’re still a very vital part of my day-to-day routine. My goal in life is to own a farm and my own preschool! I grew up in a really shitty place so I want to open an affordable preschool so kids can get a good education and it will provide job opportunities. I want cows and chickens and sheep and pigs and goats on my farm- the whole shbang. Having someone who is good with a huge farm and a million dogs is super important.

Thank you so so so much! I’m sorry this was so long :,))

OMG I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!!! T^T

I've been going through such bad burnout lately, I'm so so so sorry! I'm a little rusty with match ups so my apologies if this isn't up to par with my usual work. I tried to include everything and used my best judgment when matching you! Again, I'm so sorry this took so long... I hope you enjoy this anyway!

I match you with...

~Hoodie/Brian~

Okay hear me out-

Brian is a very laid-back and patient man. He’s a bit of a goofball and is there for a good time usually.

You said you need to be friends first? Not an issue! Brian is perfectly fine with taking things slow.

After catching his eye, he would want to get to know you better! He would want to be close to you!

His goal is to be someone you can trust and rely on.

He doesn’t view you as stupid in the slightest! He knows what stupid is and you certainly aren’t that.

He would also be the first to jump to your defense should anyone, and I mean anyone, refer to you in that manner.

When you’re struggling to speak or frustrated with your thoughts, he would hold your hand and wait. Reminding you that it’s okay and he’s still listening.

Like I said, he’s a patient man.

When you’re ready to take your relationship to the next level, he’d be so happy! Happy because you trust and love him enough to let him into that part of your life.

Now, he didn’t say you could steal his clothes… but is that really going to stop you?

Brian is like 6 foot something so you would be swimming in his shirts and hoodies.

Any time he sees you wearing his clothes tho, he fucking melts. 100%

When it comes to your varying styles, he’s supportive of whatever you put on. Which is great for self-confidence, but difficult when you’re trying to pick an outfit.

He thinks you look good all the time! Cut him some slack.

When it comes to mental illness, he’s more understanding than you’d think. I mean… he works with Tim/Masky and Toby so…

And while he doesn’t know all the details, he’d be willing to learn more about it for you.

He’ll ask questions. And you’ll have to explain some things to him.

But he’s a fast learner, so you’ll only have to explain things once and he’ll get it.

Work together and you’ll get through that just fine.

I think he’d find some of your stims and tics kinda cute (but that might be because he finds you cute). And unless you’re hurting yourself, I don’t see him having a problem with it.

If someone brings it up in a negative way tho-

Scratch that.

If anyone makes you upset in any way, shape, or form… he will slaughter them on sight.

He would be very protective of you, no doubt. You’re his precious S/O after all.

When you tell him that your family is important to you and that it’s a top priority, he’d want to meet them.

If they’re important to you, they’re important to him.

And while you are his top priority, he wouldn’t hesitate to protect your siblings if that’s what you wanted.

He loves your dogs btw. He is such a dog person.

Would 100% be okay with having one or seven dogs at any given time.

Overall, he’s a very supportive boyfriend. His goal and priority is making you happy and keeping you safe.

He’ll go at your pace, he’ll have the patience of a saint, he’ll be as understanding as you need him to be.

The only thing he’ll ask is that you’re the same with him, as he’s not perfect and he’s fully aware of that fact.

But he loves you, and he reminds you of that every day.

The song I pick for you two is:

“Fool” by Cavetown

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Sin In The City***

Nalani x Lewis x Lynix Mini Series

Warning: Cursing, Plot Heavy, NSFW AT ALL, SMUUUUT, FILTH, PLENTY OF WORDS

Words: 3k {8.7k, LMAO for thinking it would be anything else} 🤣🤣

Summary: Nalani and Lynix have been friends since they first grew hips and tits. They do everything together. When Lewis tells Nalani that he’s in Vegas for the weekend and invites her to come out, she jumps at the chance, especially when Lewis says the more, the merrier to bringing Nix along. The long weekend goes from a fun time to putting the “sin” in Sin City thanks to a secret plot Nalani concocts.

Note: As you know @munteanhorewrites​ and I are HUUUUGE Lewis Tan fans. The man is just absolute deliciousness and the whole entire package. So, Ru and I got to talking about him currently being in Vegas for the long weekend, and we thought, why not treat you guys while indulging ourselves. This is going to be a four-shot miniseries where Ru and I will each write two chapters for the four-day weekend of sheer debauchery. Thank you @munteanhorewrites​ for suggesting we combine our evil powers. Mwhahahaha! 😈😈

We hope you enjoy this. As always, thank you guys so much for reading. ❤️❤️

If you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 

Chapter Legend:

-Chapter One: @royallyprincesslilly​

-Chapter Two: @munteanhorewrites​

Chapter Three: @royallyprincesslilly​

Chapter Four: @munteanhorewrites​

***Loosely Edited/Proofread***

Chapter One: Set The Stage

-Nalani-

 “My God, everybody is gonna be in town this weekend, especially since it’s a long one,” Lynix said as she plopped onto the oversized bean bag that was in the corner of my room.

 I remembered the day we’d walked into Z Gallerie just to look around. Neither of us expected something like that to be in the high-end store. It didn’t take long to instantly fall in love with it, and thankfully the store had two left in stock. They were both the same color but completely different fabrics. Lynix preferred the fur one, but I needed the leather one in my life. That’s how it always was with us, we liked different finishes, but we had the same luxurious tastes.

 “I know. I was trying to come up with a plan. Beach, and shopping tomorrow, then spa Saturday?”

 Lynix scrunched her face. I knew she loved both, but right now, I needed her to make a damn choice. She’d always been the indecisive one, especially when it came to two things she enjoyed equally. When Nix shrugged, you knew she’d come to a decision.  

 “Eh—doesn’t matter, although I think we should shop first. I’ve wanted to get a few new suits.”

 The amount of excitement that surged through me was too much for me to contain. When I screeched, Nix’s head snapped to me. As I clapped my hands excitedly, a huge smile plastered across my face. “Yeees, then I can pick up that new brow kit that Jackie just dropped. Uugh, I am so ready for it. I have so many ideas for content.”

 By looking at Nix’s face, I could tell she was also looking forward to the day’s activities. What girl didn’t like shopping for new things such as clothes and makeup. Usually, when we went shopping, we would go early and not leave the mall until it was closing, and both of us would have so many bags that were filled with things neither of us needed.

 “So, it’s a plan, I confirmed.

 Nix nodded and continued to scroll through her phone for a few moments before she stood and walked out to get ready. Living in Miami, there were tons of pros. The weather was a major one. For the majority of the year, the weather remained calm, beautiful, and sunny. That meant that I could dress however the hell I wanted. After rummaging through my closet for the perfect thing to wear, I decided on a pair of dark denim jeans, a white scoop neck tee with two slits at the sides that carried all the way up my ribcage.

 When I sat down to beat my face, I had Saweetie blasting.

 “Can’t stop, won’t stop get guap. Ten white toes in them Troy flip flops. Manicures and pedicures I’m tip-top. When they say I’m not hot, all these lies need to stop. Cause I’m icy, wifey, haters wanna fight me.”

 Feeling the music, I stood and did my best hot gyal Meg moves. Within a few seconds, I heard Nix’s telltale “ayyyyyy.” Turning, I saw her standing in the doorway, using the doorjamb behind her as a twerk partner.

 “Get it!”

 She stood and rapped the next verse. “My team is trying to eat, so we grinding til’ out mental bleed. You tryna get a bag of weed? I’m tryna get a bag a week. Put it in my savings and invest in the right companies. My dream is like a child, and I’m taking all the custody.”

 That was when I joined in too. We were rapping, twerking, and acting a fool for the next minute or two. I watched Nix drop to the floor and pop her ass from left to right. Not being the one to be outdone, I bent forward and made mine clap. When I felt her drop a heavy-handed slap to my ass, I dropped and brought her with me. We laid on the floor, laughing together for a full minute.

 “You play too much. You can’t let me be great! You and your knees like Meg head ass,” I teased. She snorted loudly.

 “I got Meg’s knees, and you got her ass!”

 “Okuuuur!

 Nix stood and straightened the ruffles of her off the shoulder white crop top at the same time my phone rang. When I picked it up off of the wireless charging port, I screeched out.

 “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

 I showed her the phone so she could see who was calling. Her smile was broad but not as wide as yours. After three rings, you picked up the facetime call. Lewis’ gorgeous face filled the screen, and your belly fluttered. His groomed mustache chin beard decorated his face in a way that was just so pleasing to the eye. It complimented his facial structure so well. The man was too damn fine for his own good, and the worst part—he knew it.

 “Hey, handsome,” I answered in my sugary seductive voice.

 “There she is Lani, Lani. How are you, beautiful?” Lewis’s smile was soft, but it still gave way to his dimples to take center stage.

 “I’m good.”

 “That’s good. Wooo, you look good as hell,” Lewis complimented in his smooth voice. It was the voice he used when he wanted something, and the voice always got him anything he wanted. I bit my bottom lip and plopped onto my bed.

 “Did you just wake up? You look like you’re in bed still.”

 “I kind of did. I caught an early flight, and once I got in and did some training, I crashed.”

 My eyes dropped to his bare chest, and I found myself wondering if he was naked. Usually, that is how he slept. The memories flooded me, and like the wind, I was gone, lost in my lascivious thoughts.

 “Lani!”

 “Sorry, babe, what’d you say?”

 “What’re you up to?”

 “Nothing much. Was just kicking it about to do some shopping.”

 From the corner of my eyes, I saw Nix trying to get a look at him. I slanted the screen so she could see without him knowing she was there. She gave me a look to say, “excuse me.” Pressing my lips together, I tried to stifle the laugh that wanted freedom.

 “I had an idea. I’m in Vegas for the weekend. You should come through.”

 Nix’s eyes bugged.

 “Vegas?”

 “Yeah. This is one of my last weekends of freedom before press, and all that starts. So, I thought, why not have some fun. You down?”

 I looked to Nix, who was now standing behind my phone with her back to my balcony's sliding door. She nodded her head excitedly while motioning for me to say something.

 “Uh—well, I don’t know, babe. This weekend? Lew, that’s like—tomorrow.”

 Nix gave you a look asking if you were crazy. I had every intention of accepting the offer, but there was no way in hell that I was going to make him think he had it like that. A girl had to have some mystery about her no matter how fine the man or how good his stroke game was.

 “I know it’s short notice but come on Lani, it’s Vegas!”

 Lewis began moving, and it gave you the answer you needed; he wasn’t naked. His black boxer briefs clung to his hips, making my fingers itch to hook in the waistband. The visual swirled, almost giving you motion sickness before his face came back into focus with all the sights of Vegas behind him. I made out a few landmarks, mainly their replica of the Eiffel Tower and the strip's blinding lights. A smile spread across your face before you rolled your eyes.

 “Okay.”

 “Yeah?”

 He was so damn adorable. He actually looked surprised as if he really was surprised you’d accepted.

 “Yeah. Why not? I’m sure you can find some way to entertain me.”

 Lewis smiled, but this was no regular smile. It was one that spoke of so much. We’d been dealing with each other on and off for the last two months or so after meeting at a music event. I’d gone to cut loose and ended up catching the eye of some rapper who had a really grandiose ideal of himself. He thought I’d leave with him and turn into another notch on his bedpost, but once Lewis and I got to talking, there was no way. He was categorically more interesting.  After two or three dates, the inevitable happened, and he dispelled all negative stereotypes about Asian men.

 “I have a favor, though, babe,” I began with a sweet as honey smile.

 “Name it.”

 “I want to bring my friend.”

 Nix’s eyes again bugged; she wasn’t expecting that. As she flailed her hands around telling me to cease and desist, I ignored her.

 “A friend you say?”

 “Yep, my bestie, Lynix.”

 “Oh, thee Lynix? Say no more. The more, the merrier,” Lewis answered.

 “Really?”

 “Yeah. I’m looking forward to finally meeting her. I’ll make the arrangements and text you the info.”

 “Okay, babe. I’ll see you soon.”

 I puckered up and blew him a kiss. Before I ended the call, I watched him lick his lips, and even more excitement filled you.

 “What the hell was that? Who said I wanted to go to Vegas and be the third wheel to your sexcation?”

 “Nix, come on. What would you do? Stay here? Call dickhead and fall back into a situation with the only benefit being mediocre dick?”

 Nix’s jaw dropped. “Wow, the call out wasn’t necessary, Lani.”

 “I don’t’ sugar coat. You’ll have more fun with me in Vegas. Plus, it’s not a sexcation.”

 They were words I didn’t even fully believe. It was just a matter of time. Nix paced the floor as she contemplated the offer. “I don’t want to be a third wheel,” she protested.

 “You won’t be. Lew is cool. It’ll be fun.”

 She didn’t look convinced, but she looked more inclined to being easy about it than continuing her protest. The moment I saw her acceptance, I sprang to my feet and hugged her.

 “It’s going to be a great weekend.”

 After a few moments of embracing, Nix was the one to speak first. “Come on! Hurry that ass up. I’m hungry!”

 She always got hangry quicker than anyone I’d ever known. After another fifteen minutes or so of primping, we left determined to catch our favorite restaurant for lunch. In Miami, everywhere anyone turned, they were met with skin, suntan lotion, muscles, and food. To some, that meant that they had to remain on point or else someone would catch them slipping, and no one wanted that. In Miami, if someone caught you slipping, you lost your man, job, or even worse your lifestyle.

 Nix and I didn’t have to worry about that. We were secure in our careers. Lynix was able to make surprisingly good money as a top food and luxury goods blogger, while I’d found my place in the fashion and makeup influencer world. Where every influencer was a copy and paste option, I worked hard to set myself apart from them. My ideas were fresh, and my content always showed that I thought outside the box. Since our bags were secured, our lifestyle was safe.

 However, when it came to men, both Nix and I liked to keep our options open. Life was meant for living. These days, a lot of men acted like they wanted to live but truly only brought headaches. Who could be bothered? That didn’t mean we were in no man’s land. Whenever the need arose to be wined and dined, we went out and entertained whoever we chose. A girl might not want headaches, but she does want to be spoiled and made to feel pretty. Lewis brought no headaches, he treated me well, and the handful of times we’d gotten it in, it showed that he had far superior bedroom manners than anyone she’s dealt with.

 At lunch, we ironed out the plan for the day now that the weekend plan had significantly changed. Bathing suits and makeup were not the only things we planned on picking up at the mall now. There was a whole new list.

 “Nix, I thought I heard you up on the phone last night. Was it Caesar?”

 Lynix rolled her eyes as she took up her burger and took a hearty bite. As she chewed, she moaned and motioned to her plate. The burger was nearly bigger than her mouth, but she made it work.

 “This is so good, Lani.”

 I leaned over the table toward the burger. She knew what I wanted and held out the burger for me to take a bite. Moaning, I relished the flavors that burst over my tastebuds. It was rare for restaurants to season their food with more than a pinch of salt and a dash of pepper, but I could taste much more than the two.  

 “You’re right. The avocado is a great addition.”

 Nix took another bite as I stirred my pasta dish before I began eating.

 “Is he bugging you to get back together again?”

 Nix rolled her eyes again, but she nodded, “You know it. I don’t get it. It’s like he thinks the third time will be the charm.”

 I loudly kissed my teeth. Men like that were annoying as hell. For starters, I didn’t think the second round was a good idea, and I sure as hell didn’t think third time was going to be the charm, but I kept that to myself this time. “What do you think?”

 “Hell no!”

 We busted out laughing at the same time, not caring how loud we were. I noticed the eyes that slid to us from nearby tables. It was clear they were curious about what was so funny.

 “I told you, you need to try something new,” I said while wiggling my eyebrows. “It’s a good thing we’re doing Vegas this weekend. I think you’ll find that something new.”

 She rolled her eyes. “Don’t make no plans for me, Lani. You always wanna play matchmaker.”

 “I didn’t have matchmaking in mind—well not in the way you think,” I gibed.

 Her jaw dropped, and I couldn’t help but laugh. Yeah, Vegas would be a damn good time all right, I thought, as we finished our meal.

 By the time we got to the mall, Lewis had texted the info for the first-class flight he’d booked for the two of us. He made sure to add the message, “Making sure two queens travel the way they deserve.” When I showed Nix, she rolled her eyes, but I could tell she was just as in awe as I was from the smile on her face.

 Take-off was eight in the morning, which meant the rest of the day would be jamb packed to ensure everything got done. We flitted from store to store and spent money like we meant it. What was supposed to be a two maybe three store stop turned into four hours of complete indulgence. With the intent to pick up something nice for Lewis, we found ourselves in Agent Provocateur.

 After trying on a few pieces, I suckered Nix into trying some things on too. She didn’t protest with this. She liked lingerie, no matter the reason.  She thought it would be just for her pleasure, but I was beginning to formulate an alternate plan, one she had no idea about, but she would—in time.

 When we were both dressed in our final selections, Nix snapped a picture of me in a yellow number and sent it to Lewis.

 MSG: Decisions, Decisions.

 In less than a minute, his response came through.

 MSG Lew: Sold! Matter fact, get it in every color.

 Two hours later, with take-out in hand, we made it home. It was late, but instead of packing and getting some rest, we decided to binge-watch the newest season of The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina on Netflix. As you ate, you gossiped, laughed, and enjoyed the time together as you always did. There was a reason you’d moved in together; you genuinely liked each other and enjoyed hanging out together.

 ~~~~~~~~~~

 -Friday-

 The next day after two hours of chaos with last-minute packing, dancing, an impromptu fashion show, and taking turns doing each other’s makeup and hair, we finally were seated in first-class enjoying a glass of rosé.

 “Man, he sure knows how to charm a girl,” Nix joked.

 “You have no idea.”

 “Uh—I kinda do. You’ve literally told me everything about him,” she added.

 She was right. I had told her quite a bit about him. I’d also tried to get them to meet a few times, but each time one or both of them had other things they had to do. I wasn’t worried they wouldn’t like each other; I was sure once they spoke, they’d hit it off. I was counting on it for my plan to work.

 “So—Nix,” I began, again in my sweet as honey voice.”

 “Don’t try to use your charms on me, Lani. I know all your tricks,” she countered.

 Rolling my eyes, I pouted and decided to forge on. “What do you think of Lew?”

 “I told you, he’s cute.”

 “Yeah, but what else?”

 Nix looked at me as if she were trying to figure out my angle.

 “I don’t know him, Lani. From what I’ve seen, he seems like a cool guy, end of story.”

 It wasn’t a raving review, but I had to take it. Maybe her tune would be different after she got to see what he was about.

 “Just—know that you’re the only person I don’t mind sharing with,” I dropped before I popped my AirPods in. I could feel her eyes on me, but I pretended not to notice. I’d give her the flight to marinate on what I meant.

 After a three hour nonstop flight, we made it to baggage claim and got our belongings, then went in search of the driver that was supposed to be waiting for us as per Lewis’s text message from this morning. It didn’t take long to find him because he held up a sign with both your names on it.

 “That’s us.”

 “Great. Welcome to Vegas, I’m Drew. I’ll be your driver. Is this everything?”

 He nodded toward mine and Nix’s six total pieces of luggage. I nodded and allowed him to gather them before he walked ahead, leading us out of the busy airport. Once we made it outside, Drew ushered us into the waiting luminous pearl white Mercedes Maybach.

 “I don’t think that yellow number from Provocateur is gonna be enough,” Nix teased, making me giggle way too loudly.

 She was right though, mans was putting in all the stops. This wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, though. Lewis liked to enjoy life. He liked the finer things and didn’t see a reason not to indulge in moderation.

 The drive wasn’t obscenely long, but it was filled with quite a bit of traffic, especially considering it was just past eleven in the morning. Google said it was supposed to be a twenty-minute ride from the airport, but it turned out to be nearly thirty fives. Neither of us minded. We chatted, recorded a series of lives, and took several pictures to post to our respective socials.

 Once the car pulled up to the hotel, we walked inside, taking in every detail while I pulled out my phone. It was a beautiful hotel.

 MSG: Should I just give your name to the reception or something else?

 “No need. I gotchu.”

 I spun around, coming face to face with a dimpled and smiling Lewis.

 “Aah, babe!” Lewis came in for a hug, and once he wrapped his arms around me, I moaned. His arms felt so damn strong. He was not gimping on his workouts.  

 “How’d you know we were here?”

 “I got the alert from the driver and the company,” he responded as he kissed my cheek. He smelled so fucking good.

 “How are you, babe?”

 “Better now that you guys are here,” Lewis answered with a wide smile.

 I shook my head; the charm would be the death of me. Lewis’s eyes had already drifted to Lynix, who was standing back a few feet.

 “Finally, you two can meet. Lew, this is Lynix, my best friend in the entire world,” I declared with one hand holding Lewis’s and reaching out for Nix’s hand with my other.

 They both just stared at each other for a few moments without speaking.

 “Lynix,” Lewis began.

 “Nix,” she corrected. “The only people who call me Lynix are my parents and acquaintances.”

 Lewis smiled and nodded. “Glad to know I’m not an acquaintance.”

 Nix smirked and shrugged. “You’re a minuscule notch above it. I’d be careful, though.”

 Lewis’s laugh was loud as it echoed throughout the lobby. “Wow. Of course, she’d be just as witty as you,” he said, glancing across to me. I shrugged. I had told him we were pretty similar.

 “It’s nice to meet you,” Lewis added before I slipped his hand to hers, letting them both go.

 Both of them looked at me with a question in their eyes, but it quickly faded before they looked back to each other and shook hands.

 “Same here.”

 A few more seconds elapsed with both of them holding hands before Nix dropped his. I pinched my lips, sensing that everything was falling into place. From the look on Nix’s face, I could tell she thought he was more than cute.

 “Okay, let’s head up to the penthouse and get you two settled,” Lewis announced.

 The three of you, the bellhop, and a few other hotel guests, rode the elevator. Lewis asked questions about the flight and if everything was good with the drive over. I happily thanked him for everything he’d done thus far and took the chase to tease him with touches. The thing I loved about Lewis was he was equally as flirtatious as I was. He liked to tease as much as I did and did it with ease. Every touch I placed on his arm, chest, and cheek, he returned with his lips to my ear as he whispered to me, or his hand on my hip as he held me close, or even his words. He knew his appeal and always used it as a weapon.

 Once you made it to the penthouse level and walked inside, Lewis handled the bellhop and directed him to where the bags went while I dragged Nix to the balcony to marvel at the beauty that was Las Vegas. I looked over to Nix and bounced my hip against her.

 “See. I told you this was a good idea.”

 “Fine, this is gorgeous,” she finally admitted.

 I pulled my phone out, ready for another picture. As we posed and blew kisses to the camera, neither of us noticed Lewis approach the balcony doors. When I looked over, he wore a soft smile as he watched.

 “Babe, get in these pictures!”

 He held his hands up. “I don’t wanna barge in where I’m not wanted.”

 “Oh, you’re more than wanted, right, Nix.”

 She licked her lips and shrugged. “The more, the merrier.”

 Lewis scoffed and nodded as he came over to stand to the other side of me, leaving me in the middle. After two or three pictures, I moved him to the middle, so it was a proper sandwich.

 “That’s better. It’s more aesthetically pleasing,” I remarked. Both Nix and Lewis simply nodded.

 “Everyone say, Sin City!”

 We all shouted it as my phone did snap after snap. I liked to do the burst shots because I preferred natural-looking pictures, and out of the twenty in the burst, there was bound to be at least four that were gold. After about five minutes of posing for pictures with Lewis in the frame, he took over as the cameraman. It was over then. When you put us in front of a camera together with someone else taking the snaps, we turned into a whole different monster. It was like when the power rangers morphed together into that one super ranger.

 I turned my back to Lewis and looked over my shoulder. Nix leaned close, touching her cheek to mine while resting her hand on top of my ass. I peeped the way Lewis lowered the camera for a few seconds before he brought it back up to take the picture. When we changed poses for me to lift Nix’s leg to show off the skin of her thigh, Lewis again lowered the phone, this time I saw him lick his lips before he sucked his bottom one for a few moments. This was going swimmingly, I thought to myself.

 Lewis let us settle in while he took care of a little business, and that was when I saw he’d had my bags placed in his room. It felt good to know he was on the same page as you were about this Vegas trip. Sometimes it was hard to decipher what someone’s true thoughts and feelings were. With Lewis, sometimes it was plain as day.

 The knock at the door had me turning to see Nix leaning on the door looking around.

 “So, what’s the plan? I’m starving.”

 “You’re always hungry.”

 “Listen, don’t try to hunger shame me, just feed me,” she countered as she walked inside the room to plop down beside me.

 “Look.”

 Handing her my phone so she could see the comment under one of the pictures I’d posted from the balcony shoot. I watched her face closely, and when I saw her jaw drop, I snorted.

 “Your followers are freaks.”

 The two of you laughed together before Nix stretched out on the bed. As if not liking the position, she brought her legs under her to sit on her shins. The shorts she wore had ridden up her thigh.

 “I mean, he said it, not me,” I defended as I got more comfortable. Not realizing how close my phone was, I accidentally pushed it off the bed.

 “I’ll get it,” Nix offered, crawling to the right side of the bed to bend over the edge to get my phone.

 With Nix’s ass high in the air, that was the moment Lewis walked in. Almost instantly, his eyebrow shot up with his eyes glued to her ass. It couldn’t have gone better even if I had planned it. He liked what he saw.

 “I got it.” She handed me the phone.

 “Hey, babe.”

 In shock, Nix yelped and turned, looking at Lewis.

 “You guys look super comfortable in here,” Lewis answered. I laid down, placing my head in Nix’s lap.

 “It’s a nice bed, hard not to be comfortable.”

 Lewis loudly cleared his throat before he spoke. “So, what do you guys want to do?”

 “This one is begging to be fed,” I said, tapping Nix’s knee.

 “Okay, let’s go. I know the perfect restaurant.”

 “Great,” Nix replied, instantly moving off the bed. “I’ll meet you guys downstairs.” With that, she was gone.

 Lewis’s eyes roamed over my body before he crossed the room to stand at the foot of the bed, looking down at me.

 “How long’s it been?”

 “You tell me,” I countered. His smile was again one of the flirt.

 “A few weeks?”

 “Just about.”

 Lewis lowered his body on top of mine, but he didn’t touch me. I opened my legs, pressing them back to the mattress, reminding him just who he was fucking with. I watched him look down my body to my pressed back legs. He scoffed before he looked back to my eyes.

 “Ready for me, huh?”

 Bringing my foot to his crotch, I felt his hardening patch. “Maybe about as ready as you are for me.”

 Quickly Lewis dropped his lips to mine and kissed me. Wasting no time, he delved his tongue into my mouth, swirling his with mine. I moaned on his lips and wrapped my legs around his back. Finally, he pressed his muscled body to mine, teasing me with every hardened plane of his frame. He was absolute perfection.

 Lewis moaned once more before he pulled away. “Didn’t you want to eat?”

 “I could definitely eat,” I said, reaching for the buttons of his pants. He groaned and took a few steps back.

 “Good things come to those who wait, beautiful.”

 Lewis nudged his head, signaling for us to go. He was going to be the death of me, I thought.

 Twenty minutes later, the three of us found ourselves at a restaurant that served a mix of breakfast and lunch options. When we sat, Nix moved to sit on my right while keeping Lewis on my left, but after a subtle rearrangement, Lewis was in the middle with both of us on either side of him.  I could tell she had questions, but she kept them to herself. I knew I’d have to clue her in soon.

 “So Nix, anything in particular you want to do while here?”

 She looked at Lewis as she finished chewing. “Not really. I’m pretty easy.”

 “Oh, really?”

 She smirked and shook her head, “When it comes to fun,” Nix clarified. Lewis smiled and nodded.

 “Lani’s told me so much about you.”

 “Oh yeah? All bad, I’m sure. Don’t believe anything she’s told you.”

 I kissed my teeth and rolled my eyes.

 “Oh, so don’t believe that you’re funny as hell, really sweet, talented, a damn good cook, and that you’re a great person?”

 Nix looked at me and melted. She was easy.

 “Awww, Lani,” she began.

 “Shut up, don’t make it weird.”

 The three of us chuckled before Nix continued. “Those you can believe, but I’m not as sweet as she says.”

 “You look pretty sweet to me,” Lewis slid in.

 The way Nix looked at him said she was speechless. When she looked at me, I smiled and gave her a look to say, “told you.” The man was walking charm.

 “Looks can be deceiving.”

 “You’re sweeter than you look,” I added, leaning to Lewis’s cheek to place a soft kiss to it. “Trust me,” I whispered into his ear.

 A few moments later, my phone went off.

 MSG Nix: What are you doing?

MSG: Nothing. What do you mean?

MSG Nix: You’re being weird.

MSG: I’m not. I promise.

MSG Nix: What are you up to?

MSG: Nothing.

 The look she gave me was one that said she didn’t believe shit out my mouth. I didn’t blame her. I was utterly up to no good.

 After some lunch, Lewis took us around to show us the sights along the strip. The three of us quickly roamed through Vegas’s version of Ripley’s Believe or Not before making it to do a little retail therapy. I roamed around the store with my arm laced through Lewis’s picking up different things. That was when I got one of my best ideas. With my arms filled with clothes, I whispered to Lewis for him to sit back and enjoy the show.

 When I came out dressed in a skin-tight dress, Lewis’s eyes roamed my body, examining the way it hugged my curves.

 “Do you like it?”

 Lewis signaled me to spin, so I did. When I looked at him again, he looked pleased.

 “The color’s nice on you. Looks good.”

 “Your turn Nix. Come on.”

 “I don’t have to come out. I’m good.”

 Rolling my eyes, I went to the door of her dressing room, opened it, and pulled her out.

 “Lani!”

 “Wow, that looks incredible on you.”

 She traced her hands over her body before she turned to look in the mirror, turning her back to Lewis.

 “Yeah?”

 “Definitely, get it. Right, babe?”

 Nix didn’t turn, but I saw her looking at him through the mirror.

 “Yeah, get it,” Lewis answered before his eyes dropped back to his phone.

 That was not acceptable, I thought.

 On the second reveal, I wore a low cut white top and a pair of leather pants. Lewis had me come closer to touch on the pants. While he appreciated visuals, he appreciated the touch more.  When Nix came out, she had on a figure-hugging leather dress with a plunging neckline.

 “Wow,” Lewis exclaimed.

 Bingo, I thought. Nix turned to face him, but she looked at me. Nodding my encouragement, she looked at him.

 “Yeah? Is that a good wow?”

 “Uh—it’s, you look great,” Lewis added.

 “You can do better than that, babe,” I coaxed.

 Lewis licked his lips and slid his phone back into his pocket. “It looks good on you.”

 As I walked back into my dressing room, I heard him correct himself. “Really good.”

 I considered that a win.

 After trying on a few more items, we cashed out. Lewis being the gentleman he was offered to pay for the entire thing. Nix protested, but when she did, he insisted even more, so she conceded and accepted defeat.

When we made it to one of Vegas’s most popular attractions—the sky jump from the top of the STRAT hotel, Lewis went first and made it look like a breeze. He was so carefree about it too that it made me want to go next. Nix didn’t protest; she looked terrified.

 Once I jumped off the edge, it was the most exhilarating and terrifying feeling I’d ever felt. Everything zipped past my eyes. For a few seconds, I felt like I wasn’t attached to the rope and that I was plummeting to my death, but the minute the rope snagged and bounced me up, and down I relaxed. It was incredible. Vegas was beautiful.

 When it was Nix’s turn, she damn near freaked out. She tried several times to back out, but I wouldn’t let her. After several minutes of talking her into it and assuring her it would be the best thing ever, she approached the operator only to back away. That was when Lewis stepped in.

 “Look at me, if you really don’t want to do it, that’s cool but listen to my voice for a minute. Are you looking at me?”

 She nodded. Lewis placed his hands on his waist and held her in place.

 “The worst part is right here. Don’t think about it. You’re safe. This will be one of the things you’ll remember for the rest of your life. This is all we have in life, memories of experiences, and times we truly lived. After everything Lani’s told me about you, I’m sure you can do this.”

 Though she still looked as if she were half a heartbeat from passing out, she looked more confident. Nix nodded and turned back around. She stood there for almost a full minute before she shook her head no.

 “Would it be better if Lew did it with you?”

 Both sets of eyes landed on me. It was obvious they hadn’t thought about it.

 “He can go with her, right?”

 The three of us looked back to the operator who nodded.

 “See,” I added.

 “I don’t wanna make you. It would be weird,” Nix protested.

 “No, it wouldn’t be weird. It’s fine. Are you okay with it?”

 “Absolutely,” I assured.

 Lewis suited up again, and in less than a minute, he was ready to take another dive. As I watched the operator secure them both the harness, I had to hold the glee in to yet another situation I hadn’t planned that was working in my favor. I knew Nix, and in order for her to be at all receptive to what I was going to suggest, she had to be comfortable. When they were secured, Nix and Lewis were harnessed together fastened together at the chest. They looked like conjoined twins.

 Nix looked to me, and I gave her two thumbs up and a smile.

 “You got this bestie!” She rolled her eyes and looked like she wanted to kill me for getting her into this.

 “Ready?”

 “No.”

 Lewis chuckled before he nodded to the operator, and just like that, he jumped, taking them both over the edge. I could hear Nix’s scream the entire time. It was too funny not to laugh. There were a few moments of silence, but they didn’t last long. From the video attached to the contraption's overhead hood, I could see that her legs were now wrapped around his waist, and Lewis was securely holding her to him. His laugh was loud, as was her chastising him for laughing at her. They were already bantering like old friends. By the time the operator began pulling them back up, they were now staring at each other like not quite just friends. Maybe this would be easier than I thought, I theorized.

 We took in a few more sights before we stopped at the famous Bellagio fountains to take in the show. It was beautiful. I could tell why Vegas always mystified everyone. It was easy to become another person and get lost in the lights. Coming here, lines always became blurred. When we got back to the penthouse, the plan was to freshen up and get ready for dinner, then a club.

 After a shower, I stood in front of the window, trying to decide which dress to wear. That was when Lewis crept up behind him, wrapping his arms around my midsection.

 “There you are. Where’ve you been?”

 “I had a little meeting with my team. I’m sorry,” he whispered while kissing a trail from my shoulder up my neck until he got to my ear lobe. Moaning, I sank back onto him.

 “You smell incredible.”

 “I know.”

 Lewis’s hand slowly slid down my body until it dipped into my underwear. When I felt the soft brush of his fingers against my sex, I sharply gasped, dropping my head back onto his chest.

 “Mmm.”

 “Yeah, you’ve been craving this, haven’t you?”

 I nodded; there was no point in frontin’. He began slowly, lazily circling around my clit. His touch was so damn soft. It felt as If it was barely there. Within seconds I began wriggling, hoping he got the hint to pick up the pace. Lewis chuckled, clearly enjoying how he had you.

 “What do you want, babe?”

 “You know what I want, Lew.”

 “Use your words, princess.”

 I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction, but I also wanted my happy ending.

 “Make me come, daddy.”

 Lewis groaned loudly, sending the vibrations through my body. That was all it took for my body to blaze. Lewis pinched my clit then slapped it.

 “Fuck, babe.”

 “Are you wet for me, princess?”

 “So fucking wet.”

 He circled my clit again, this time giving you the amount of pressure and speed you needed. Sighing, you focused on the sensations that were coursing through you. His hands were a major turn-on for me. He looked like he used them often. Just as I was getting used to the way my body hummed from his fingers, he switched it up. When you felt him dip his middle finger inside of me, my knees buckled.

 Lewis’s strong arms held me steady as he backed us to the bed. He sat and placed me on his lap, leaving my legs wide for him. He retreated his finger only to add another digit to slip inside of me.

 “Mmm, fuck daddy.”

 “You are wet for me. You feel so fucking hot.”

 The slow way he sank and retreated his fingers inside of me only inched me closer and closer to madness. My pants echoed in the room and mingled with his deep, sultry moans. When he pulled them out to show you what a mess you’d made, he brought them to your lips.

 “Clean them off.”

 Not needing to be told twice, I lowered my lips over his fingers and sucked them clean, all the while showcasing just how deep my throat went. His moan became louder, but before you could take control of the moment, he pulled his fingers free and dipped three digits inside of you, stretching you—prepping you for his thickness.

 “Fuck!”

 His movements were no longer slow. He plunged in and out of me with a speed that had your back arching and your hand wrapping around the back of his neck where your nails sunk in.

 “You sure you wanna come?”

 “Yes.”

 “Yes, who?”

 “Yes, daddy. Please make me come.”

 Lewis added a twisting and rotating motion. It felt as if there was some sort of spiraling toy inside of me, and that was when I lost my shit.

 “Yes, yes, fuck! I’m coming!”

 It must have been music to his ears because, with his other hand, he pinched my nipple, sending me over the threshold and into a soft cloud pillow of ecstasy.

 “Such a good girl!”

 Lewis pulled his fingers free, and they were absolutely soaked. He gently tossed me onto the bed, then stood before me. I watched as he licked and sucked his fingers clean before he added a sly wink before he turned and walked into the bathroom.

 Dropping my head to the bed, I groaned out, “The fuck!”

  Dinner was delicious. Lewis picked one of the five-star restaurants that had given him an open invitation to come and see what they had to offer. When he walked in, all eyes were on the three of you. No doubt every woman wondering the same thing—how could they get a piece of him. all through dinner, the three of you laughed and told stories.

 Lewis told Nix and several stories from his set life and even dropped some fun facts about some of his costars or scenes we’d seen in some of his shows. When he asked about some of the shenanigans we got into, I didn’t hesitate telling him several stories that showcased Nix and my insanity. Every story had him laughing, and Nix cringing from all the tea I was dropping.

 “I can’t believe we did half of that,” Nix remarked.

 “Oh stop, don’t act like it was some other person. Your ass is just as crazy as me. It’s one of the reasons we get along so well. Plus, I know you always have my back,” I added.

 Lewis raised his glass. “To best friends then.”

 Nix and I raised our glasses, but before anyone took a drink, I spoke up. “To best friends and new friends.”

 The two of them looked at me, shrugged, then tapped glasses.

As the liquor burned its way down my throat, I shivered and flailed my hands. “Wooo, let’s get out of here. I’m ready to dance!”

  Within five minutes, the three of us were in the back of another chauffeured car on our way to one of the hottest clubs in Vegas.

 “So, is there a Mr. Vix?”

 “If there were, I wouldn’t be here.”

 “I doubt you’re the kind of woman who would allow a man to dictate what she could or couldn’t do,” Lewis countered.

 She has a soft smile on her lips, a sign of her conceding.

 “No, there’s no Mr. Nix.”

 “Is that by choice or circumstance?”

 “I choose my circumstances so--.”

 If there was one thing, Lewis liked it was mental sparring. I could tell he was intrigued by her. It made my plan easier.

 When we walked into the club, the music's loudness and the bright neon colors set the tone for the night. It was going to be a crazy, fun few hours. After situating in one of the VIP areas and downing a few drinks, I was up dancing with Nix while Lewis watched on and bopped to the music. As the alcohol began to take effect, we got into dancing and having a good time. Soon it became who could dance the most despite the number of drinks they’d had.

 After an hour or so, I pulled Lewis up to dance with us. I was in the middle with Lewis behind me and Nix in front. She twerked her ass onto me, while I did the same to Lewis. He held his own, but I wasn’t surprised. He looked like he knew how to dance. It was yet another turn-on. Lewis nipped my neck before he playfully rammed my ass with his crotch. Turning to him, I whispered I was going to get another drink.

 “Dance with Nix.” He met my eyes with a question in his.  Before he could open his mouth, I kissed him and walked off.

 It wasn’t a complete lie. I did want to get another drink, but I also wanted him to dance with Nix. After a few moments, Lewis approached her. She was at the railing, holding on with one hand while waving the other in the air. She was lost in her own world. I knew it was partly because of the alcohol. She turned and came face to face with him. both of them awkwardly laughed before Nix cheered along with everyone around when the DJ changed the song to Despacito.

 As she sang along, they both swayed to the beat. Every so often, Lewis leaned in and whispered something to her that had her giggling. Once the chorus started, she’d spun around and began winding her hips, adding in that Latin flare that Miami was known for, and that was also embedded in her DNA.

 Lewis dropped his eyes to her ass for so long. I didn’t think he’d make a move to dance with her, but when he stepped closer and placed his hand on Nix’s waist, I jumped as if I’d seen my own child score a touchdown. Soon their bodies synced, and they were dancing to the music but at a respectful distance. Lewis grabbed her hand and spun her back around, and the two did a mix of a salsa and bachata.

 From afar, they looked like they were having a good time. They sure as hell danced well together. Toward the middle of the song, he spun Nix back around. This time her back was pressed to his chest. That was when Nix rolled her body to dip to the floor. While bringing herself back up, she poked her ass out but not far enough that she touched him. Getting closer, I thought to myself before I made my way back over.

 By the end of the night, the three of you were tripping over your feet. Once we pushed through the penthouse's doors, it was Nix who had the idea to get into the pool. She wasted no time stripping down to her underwear and jumping in. Lewis and I were not far behind her. We swam and joked around with each other like drunken fools who had no cares in the world. After about an hour of swimming and acting like children with water games like Marco Polo and catch, we were leaned against the pool's wall enjoying another drink.

 “The two of you are a lot of fun,” Lewis sighed out before he knocked back another rum shot.

 “I tried to tell you. We know how to have a good time,” I reiterated.

 “As you can see by the one who has on no bra, she’s the one who has the most fun,” Nix teased.

 “You’re welcome to join the no bra club to take part in the fun,” I countered.

 There was no missing my meaning, and from the way she looked at me, I knew she got it. Nix looked like she was thinking about it, then her eyes shifted to Lewis who was watching the exchange. She made a move as if to unhook the front of her strapless bra, but as her hands made it to the front of her body, she lowered them and cleared her throat.

 “Ehm, I’m exhausted, probably jet-lagged. I think I’m gonna go pass out.”

 “Really?”

 “Yep.” She turned and swam to the steps of the pool before she climbed out of the water. “But by all means—you two enjoy the rest of the night.”

 Nix scooped up her dress off the floor and walked toward the sliding doors. “Oh, Lewis, thank you for the invitation this weekend.”

 “Don’t mention it.” Nix nodded, then disappeared inside.

 “Is she okay?”

 “Probably just drank too much.”

 I swam to him, took his glass, and finished it before placing it behind him. “What would you say if I didn’t trust myself to walk?”

 “Then, I’d carry you to bed.”

 Crashing my lips to his, my mouth stole his moan and made it my own. In seconds I was more than ready to be carried to bed and fucked to sleep. As if hearing my thoughts, Lewis pulled me to him and swam toward the steps. Forgetting our clothes, he walked inside, never taking his lips from mine. At the top of the steps in the hall, he pressed me to the wall giving me an idea of how much he wanted me. Scraping his back, I moaned loudly.

 “Fuck I’m so hard for you.”

 “I want you, Lew.”

 When be busted into the bedroom, he quickly dropped me back onto the bed and peeled off his boxer-briefs as I pulled off my underwear. When he pressed between your legs, you whispered to him to fuck you. Your self-control was gone, and you didn’t care if there was no foreplay. This entire day was foreplay enough.

 When Lewis thrust forward, connecting our bodies, I shrieked out and arched backward. Lewis pressed his hand to the center of my body as he rotated his hips, making my thighs hit the bed, giving him complete access to ruin you any way he saw fit.

 “Fuck, Lani!”

 His thrusts sped up and turned bruising. Each connection had your breasts swinging and your body shaking. Just when you were getting used to the pace, he set he changed the name of the game and slowed it down, making goosebumps prickle my skin. His lips found yours, and he took control of that too, the same way he was showing me owned my pussy tonight.

 “Whose pussy is this, Lani?”

 “Yours.”

 “Damn right, it’s mine!”

 As if shedding the gentleness, he kicked it up a notch with the way he plowed into me. With every dip, your body hugged him, making it next to impossible for him to retreat. With every snug squeeze, Lewis grunted loudly.

 “Fuck, right there, daddy.”

 When he pulled out and flipped me onto my belly, I knew what was coming. Within seconds, he slammed back inside of me, sending his dick so deep I saw stars. It was then I realized the blinds in the room were wide open.

 “Mm. I love how wet you are for me. Does this pussy love this dick?”

 “Yes, yes, yes!”

 Lewis grabbed the back of my neck and went to town. I could tell he was lost in his pleasure and the pursuit of his own release. It didn’t take long for your legs to shake and for you to drop onto the bed. With you splayed across the mattress, he only adjusted his angle and fed you every single thick inch he possessed. In seconds I’d come for the fourth time and gripped him as if he threatened to leave. His thrusts staggered and became sloppier and more desperate. He was close.

 “Fuck, I’m gonna come, Lani. Do you want it?”

 “Yes, daddy, give it to me.”

 After a few more thrusts, he slammed forward and shot stream after stream inside of me. Every few seconds, he grunted and tried to bury himself deeper and deeper though there was nowhere else for him to go. I was filled to the hilt. Thank god I were on birth control, you thought. That could have been the one to make him a real-life daddy.

 “Fuck, girl!”

 Lewis dropped a heavy slap to my ass before he collapsed beside me. Both of us laid there, trying to catch our breath before passing out from sheer exhaustion and satisfaction.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If anyone wants to be tagged either send a message to either @munteanhorewrites​ or me @royallyprincesslilly​ or put it in the comments.

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TagList:

@maxcullen @night-of-the-living-shred @chaneajoyyy @queenoftheworldisdead @shar74nett @raveviolet @dangerouslovefanfic​ @caramara3​ @sonjashuterbugjohnson​

Chapter Two will be on @munteanhorewrites page. 

[whaleofatjme1920]

HEY B GIMMIE THAT SWEET SWEET RIVAL MATCHUP U ALREADY KNO

You already know who this is but ill still give u a hot rundown: My names Ally, im 20 years old 5’7’’ and a Leo/year of the dragon/INFP. She/They pronouns and im Pansexual but i dont think that matters much in this situation >:P. Appearance wise i have shoulder length curly red hair and green/grey eyes, suuuuper pale skin and freckles. Im def an ambivert, very protective of people who mean alot to me and kind of sharp tempered, especially when people start talking about shit they dont know anything about. Im also a pretty big perfectionist and people pleaser and will beat the FUCK outta myself if i feel like i let people down or made people upset when i could have helped it. But thats all about me, heres those wacky questions!

- Stated before, but im an August Leo! I would say my aura would probably be a pinkish/ purple color? For dislikes i def dont like bitter foods, being too hot, rumors, people talking behind my back, ppl who act like they know what theyre talking about, ppl cutting me off when i lose my train of thought, conservatives, not caring about climate change/the planet in general, tight or restrictive clothes, not having enough time in the day, capitalism, ect. Honestly the most off the wall thing for me that would make me throw hands on sight would probably be someone saying some shit about my close friends behind their back to me.

- Once when I was 14 me and about 10 other people squeezed into a mini van at about 3am and drove around the town, not a single one of us had a license or were over the age of 16, and we were all ridiculously drunk and high the entire time (except the driver. we were underage, not stupid). After driving halfway across the island we got pulled over by cop on the interstate, and he walked up to the car, looked at the driver, then into the passenger seat and saw literally 10 KIDS OBVIOUSLY DRINKING and the car absolutely reeked of bud, then looked back at the driver and simply told him “Your tail light is out. Get home safe” and drove away. Ive never seen god faster than that moment LMAO

- I could never willingly fight a raccoon, youre sick for suggesting that >:/ They are precious boys and ive saved too many from drowning in my pool for me to lay a finger on one. And as for dealbreakers? My biggest one in a relationship is cheating, but thats pretty basic LMAO. I would also say one that’s definitely second in rank would be expecting someone to stay the same through out the relationship and getting upset when the person changes. We are human beings and developing and growing, if you dont support me in that nothing is going to work. I explained a bunch of things i dislike in people above, but ill also add in here people who hurt animals in any way/ litter for no reason. If one of my friends throws a piece of trash out of my car im slammin on the brakes and youre getting out and picking it up. And god forBID you touch an animal around me il doing whatever you did to it to yourself no hesitation.

- I would hate being stuck in a room with anyone, i have decently bad claustrophobia and if we were in there for more than a day i would start bugging out LOL But probably the worst type of person would be someone who just doesn’t shut up and trys to act like they know everything. Those are like, the most insufferable people to me. ESPECIALLY if theyre wrong and refuse to admit it. Whenever i think of being locked in a room, somehow i always imagine like a dark navy blue room with one small window and completely empty floors and walls, everything made out of carpet. Dont ask me why, i have absolutely no clue.

my feed back is ily bitch gimmie a good one i wanna fight a bitch

Your enemy is… Eyeless Jack!

In general:

I told you this yesterday but I wasn’t expecting you to send this in and must've spent like 5 straight minutes wheezing reading this. My gut reaction was Jeff, but based on what you wrote about the room, I’m going to say your enemy is actually Eyeless Jack!

Things he doesn’t like about you and how he pisses you off:

EJ doesn’t like that you’re a Leo. I’m not elaborating on that. He’s such a cold, clinical, heartless bastard that everything you are just goes against whatever tf he actually believes and acts as. I feel like you being a perfectionist would just brush against his perfectionist tendencies and habits. He’d say everything you’re doing is wrong. Just a dick. EJ may or may not exploit your weaknesses but that’s just because he thinks it’s fun and doesn’t like you.

EJ is a god of knowing what he’s talking about and it leads to this cocky, know it all attitude. It’s gonna brush you the wrong way. He knows that and takes joy in it. He will always attempt to one up you in knowledge and grin when he sees you falter. On the other end, if you catch him off guard he’s gonna be SO MAD. He will purposely turn up the heat in your presence just to make you upset. He will breathe down your neck and get in your personal space just to make you more uncomfortable. EJ isn’t anywhere NEAR a conservative or a climate change denier but he will take those positions just to make you mad and laugh over your attempts at arguing with him. Like Jeff, he’s a huge devil’s advocate and will start shit just because he can. I don’t actually think he’d talk about your friends negatively in front of you though, but he would definitely say stuff about you to your face.

EJ thinks it’s stupid you drank underage and will poke that memory. He will use insults about alcohol and the brain despite drinking a ton himself. If you call him out on it, he will fold. Literally throw everything he says about you back at him and he will get puffy and fast. EJ can’t always handle change that well so like, he’s a stubborn guy. Despite how logical he can be and how smart he is, socially he is so uncouth!! EJ doesn’t litter so you don’t have to worry about that but he’s definitely gonna do things that push your buttons, mostly say things that put you off. He’s not claustrophobic. He will put you in situations like that just because he can. The dark navy blue of his mask is going to haunt you. EJ will act like a god in your presence and snarl when you dare question his abilities. CALL HIM OUT. HUMBLE HIM PLEASE.

He agrees on the raccoon thing ngl. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, but EJ has such a soft spot for animals - mostly birds - but he can’t fault you for the raccoon thing. He's also not too fond of litter so he has to agree with you on that one too.

Closing Thoughts/Other Things:

Knowing you for as long as I have, I was so, so ready to actually put you with Jeff. However, the more I read into this the more my intuition screeched that you would actually throw hands with EJ and I find that HILARIOUS. Just the arguments between you and this tall, muscular demon man is just - “what? What? WHAT” It’s beautiful. I’m serious, Merida vs. a literal demon. That’s all. Ily. <3

[theasstour]

𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓑𝓲𝓻𝓽𝓱 𝓸𝓯 𝓥𝓮𝓷𝓾𝓼 𝓫𝔂 𝓢𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓻𝓸 𝓑𝓸𝓽𝓽𝓲𝓬𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓲

𝓯𝓲𝓬 𝓹𝓪𝓰𝓮 | 𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓽: 21k 𝓝𝓑: 𝓮𝔁𝓹𝓵𝓲𝓬𝓲𝓽 𝓵𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓾𝓪𝓰𝓮, 𝓼𝓮𝔁𝓾𝓪𝓵 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓽

A/N: my baby @shepherald... grazie mille my dear one! i’ll never be able to thank you enough for what you’ve done for bb, and i’ll never be able to put into words how much you mean to me! i love you so much! thank you!

A/N2: so, this is it! last chapter of bb! it honestly doesn’t seem real, and i’m so sad i have to let painter!harry go cos i’ve grown quite fond of him the year i’ve spent thinking about him and this fic! what bb represents is what makes this fic so special to me. i - a plus size woman - never felt like i belonged anywhere. i assumed i was unloveable from never seeing a bigger person like myself in a book or a film where that person was deemed attractive. they were always the clown, or ‘the fat character’, or their entire storyline was based around them needing to lose weight. i’ve gotten pretty fucking tired of never seeing myself represented properly in fiction or irl or ANYWHERE for that matter, so i decided to take matters into my own hands, and i cannot begin to tell you how LIBERATING and AMAZING it felt! to each person who reached out to me saying bb made them confident, made them feel like they weren’t alone, opened their eyes to what life as a bigger person is: i love you all. this is the exact reason why i wrote bb. fat doesn’t equal ugly, it doesn’t equal unloveable, it doesn’t equal any negatively charged words. fat equals beautiful, it equals human. and anyone who ever tries to tell you otherwise can choke lmao. enjoy this last instalment of bb, i love you all so much x

Sunday, 1 March 2020

Y/N had always thought that the biggest changes were those you didn’t pay immediate notice to. Like the changing of the seasons, aging on your birthday, when the clock struck 12 and a new day began. Changes that were caused by time; that could not be prevented. Loads of changes couldn’t be prevented, but it was impossible to escape time. Manmade to make life simpler to live, and yet it’s what kills us in the end. However, Y/N had come to learn that some changes – the biggest and worst of them all – pained you so much, they didn’t fully leave your body. Like a volcanic eruption, they’d come every now and again, but would leave you scorched and burning for days. She chose not to think about those changes.

But it was hard when she was out shopping with her younger sister and said younger sister would not stop bloody chattering. The first day of spring had brought nothing but clouds and the occasional fall of some rain. Y/N wasn’t impressed. Wasn’t a new season supposed to bring something else? So far it just felt like any other winter day in south England.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

Looking up at Portia, it was painfully obvious Y/N hadn’t been paying attention to anything her sister had been saying.

Portia raised her eyebrows. “Are you taking the mick right now?”

“What?!”

“You’re not even listening to what I’ve been saying.” Portia scanned her Oyster card and walked on into Haggerston station, leaving Y/N sighing behind her. Y/N scanned her own card and followed, knowing that her sister would not stop being annoying unless she asked what she’d been talking about. The second she began talking again, she’d forget Y/N wasn’t listening to begin with.

The two were on their way to Victoria Station, Portia was going back home after having stayed with Y/N in her shared flat in Hackney for two weeks, having had some modelling jobs to attend to. And now that she was done, she would be going home to their mother and staying there for a week until she had to come back down to London for some more jobs. Y/N was getting rather sick of her little sister staying with her when she could easily find her own flat, but she figured she’d bring that conversation up another time. A time when she hadn’t pissed her sister off already that day.

“Tia,” Y/N said as they reached the Southbound platform, the windy remnants of the storm that had just been making it freezing to be taking the Overground and wait outside for the next tube to arrive. “What were you saying?”

“Do you even care?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t believe you.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Fine.”

“This bloke I’ve been going on dates with while I’ve been here, right,” Portia started crossing her arms over her chest as the tube started approaching, knowing that a gust of wind would accompany it. “He’s got this friend that’s been eyeing me up the two times I’ve met him. He’s fit and everything, but I’m seeing Azeem, you know.”

“Tell Azeem his mate makes you feel uncomfortable and he’ll do something about it till next time you meet.”

“But he doesn’t make me feel uncomfortable, that’s the thing.” Portia sighed as the two girls walked up to the yellow line, waiting for the train to stop so they could get on. “I just think it’s annoying.”

“That men find you attractive?”

“That the fit one’s are always the ones I can’t have.”

“Oh, my days, Portia.” Y/N mumbled, getting on the Overground and sitting down in one of the orange and brown seats. Portia sat down next to her, putting her bag on the ground beside her feet.

“What, Y/N?”

“You just sound like a bellend.”

“How?”

Y/N gave her a look.

“How?!”

“’The fit one’s are always the ones I can’t have’? At least you’re dating someone, and they’re interested in you.”

“And Azeem is delicious, but his mate’s got…”

“Got what?”

Portia sighed. “Got nice arms.”

Y/N leaned her head against the wall behind her, it swayed with the moving coach.

“I know it’s not all about looks.”

“It really is not.”

“But I still can’t help myself.”

“You’re such a prick.”

“Don’t be rude.” Portia nudged her sister’s shoulder. “If you’d just go out and date people as well, you’d have the same problems.”

Y/N huffed, looking at Portia. “Doubt it.”

Portia rested one leg on top of the other, examining her nails. “You’re so boring sometimes.”

“Cheers.”

“No,” Portia glanced at Y/N again. “But isn’t it boring to just be sat inside all day?”

“Oh, it’s incredibly boring to get an education.”

Portia rolled her eyes.

“Go out of my mind going to lectures, writing my dissertation, doing other assessments, and applying to thousands of jobs a day.”

Portia crossed her arms, looking ahead.

“So boring.”

“I know you pride yourself on the fact you’re gonna be a vet.”

“Shouldn’t I?”

Portia sighed, refusing to answer. The two kept quiet after that. Y/N knew in order to make Portia shut up, she just had to bring up her education. Portia was fully aware that Y/N was the smartest one out of the two of them – quite frankly, the smartest one in their entire family – and if Y/N rubbed it in, Portia would keep quiet. Reminding her sister how she’d gotten into the University of her dreams and was doing great, was a low blow, Y/N knew that. But at the same time, Portia just pissed her off so much sometimes that she simply could not help herself.

The two got up as they reached their stop at Canada Water, and walked off towards the Jubilee line once the tube doors opened. Portia’s bag kept bumping into Y/N as they walked, and though she would normally tell her to piss off, to keep her bag closer, she didn’t know. Giving Portia a reason to start shouting at her in the middle of a tube station was not ideal. She was mad enough as it was.

They got on the escalator, Y/N was just about to tell Portia what direction to walk in once they reached the bottom since her little sister always forgot, but Portia gasped before Y/N got the chance. Looking up at her sister, Portia’s eyes were wide, a small smile lingering on her lips. She pointed to the digital posters that lined the wall along the escalator, making Y/N look to her right to see what had gotten her sister all excited.

It was the colour that stood out first. She remembered the exact shade of it. The painting stood out second, then the colour of the person’s hair, the shape of their body, the shoes. The landscape, the warm colours. It was her. It was the same day she’d found Viola. The same day Harry had supposedly… No, she couldn’t even finish that thought. She’d tried not to think of him for months now. As they passed another one of the posters, she looked at it again. In white and bold letters, the text on the poster said ‘H. Styles’ exclusive and limited new exhibition. 11:00-18:00. 23rd February – 1st March. Dover Street, Mayfair. £10 admission.’

“Y/N, what the fuck?” Portia said, tapping her finger against the screen multiple times as they passed yet another one of the posters. “What the fuck?”

The exact same statement was going on repeat in Y/N’s head as well. Seeing the painting, seeing herself on that poster, it brought back so incredibly many memories from a time she had tried to forget.

Ever since they had parted ways, Y/N and Harry had only talked on a handful of occasions. They would text one another – very early on, Harry even called her twice (only after making sure the time zones weren’t fucked and she wasn’t asleep) -, and they did so for a long while, but then Harry’s answers got shorter and shorter, and Y/N felt like he might be falling out of love. She didn’t want to ask him in case she was reading too much into things, afraid of what the answer might be. She was still in love with him, would probably be so till the day she died, but she didn’t want to force him to talk to her if he wasn’t feeling it anymore.

As time went on, their text conversations got less frequent, and by Christmas, they weren’t talking at all. Y/N had tried to forget about him, thinking that he might have just viewed what they had as an intense summer romance and that was it. After all, he was a passionate and artistic man, maybe he fell in love with the thought, image, and what she represented to his summer more than her person. It all hurt to think about, which was why she rarely allowed herself to think about him at all. She hadn’t seen him in almost seven months, she was terrified of what that distance had done to them. To his heart. Because hers still longed for his in every way a person could yearn for another. It proved hard living apart from a person whose name you had etched onto the organ that kept you alive.

They reached the bottom of the escalator and the two girls stepped off, Y/N blinking a few extra times because she simply could not hold tears back when she was thinking about Harry. Portia walked beside Y/N, mouth agape.

“Y/N,” she said. “We have to go.”

Y/N sniffled, pretending it was because she’d caught a cold. “Why?”

Portia glanced at her as if she was insane.

“What?”

“Don’t even start, Y/N. We’re going. I need to see those paintings and so do you.” Portia walked onto the Jubilee tube, Y/N following straight after. They held onto a pole, and when Y/N averted her eyes to the advertisement on the walls of the coach, she saw Harry’s poster again. They were everywhere, how hadn’t she noticed them before?

“Dover Street.” Portia said. “Right by Piccadilly, innit?”

“Yeah.”

“Brill, we just jump off at Green Park and walk for like five minutes and we’ll be there.”

Y/N sighed, suddenly feeling like she needed to throw up.

Portia grinned, looking at Y/N. “I’m excited now.”

“Portia, this is a bad idea.”

“It’s a splendid idea.” Portia corrected. “I need to see all the paintings. I’m sure they’re amazing.”

Y/N had never told Portia she hadn’t seen the paintings herself, that Harry hadn’t let her. But then again, there were a lot of things she hadn’t told Portia about last summer and H. Styles. Her heart was beating way faster than normal, she was suddenly sweating. The notion that Harry might be there was overwhelming, that he had probably been in London for a while now but not contacted her made her entire body ache in a way it had never done before. Though Harry being at his own gallery didn’t make sense on any other days than the opening one, Y/N was still sick thinking about meeting him. He wouldn’t be there, but she still was wary of going.

“What’s gotten into you, you look faint.” Portia pointed out, raising her eyebrows.

“I think it’s a really bad idea to go to that exhibition.”

“What the fuck, Y/N?” Portia groaned. “These are paintings of you. You’re literally the star of the whole thing.”

Y/N shrugged.

“Besides, I don’t think we have to pay a tenner since you literally spent all summer with him so he could paint you. Free admission equals ‘why the fuck not’.”

Would Harry even want her there? They hadn’t talked after all; he hadn’t told her he was in London. Maybe he didn’t want her to come see the paintings. Maybe he just wanted her to stay away.

She hated how much she was overthinking this. The last thing she wanted to do was step on Harry’s toes, especially now that they hadn’t spoken in a while. Especially because she loved him and was afraid he didn’t anymore. However, realising the reason she was overthinking in the first place, she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. It was because Harry meant so much to her. Never could she face him now without knowing if he felt the same way about her.

Portia dragged Y/N off at Green Park, walking towards the exit with an excited gleam in her eyes. Y/N’s stomach hurt so much she didn’t know what to do. She wanted to lay down in a foetal position and die. This was all so sudden, so overwhelming. They exited the underground, and as they reached the outside again, the sun was shining and the wind didn’t seem as horrible. It didn’t ease Y/N’s nerves one bit, though.

It took them a total of three minutes to reach Dover Street, and the exhibition was one of the first things that caught Y/N’s eyes. The entire front was made of glass, covered in a baby blue sheet that read ‘H. Styles’ new exclusive exhibition.’ Portia gripped Y/N’s arm, squealing before she looked both ways and crossed the street. Y/N knew Dover Street was known for having numerous contemporary art galleries, but looking down the street, none stood out as much as Harry’s. It was impossible to view any of the paintings through the windows, undoubtedly leaving people wanting to pay the 10 quid to do just that. Y/N was torn between actually wanting to walk inside or sprint back to Hackney.

“Why’re you hesitating? Come on!” Portia took Y/N’s hand and opened the door with the other, forcing Y/N in first.

The reception was dark, absolutely everything covered in black from the floor to the ceiling. There was nothing on the walls, nothing that stood out. But in the middle of the room stood another black wall, covering the proper entrance to the actual exhibition. In front of it stood a reception desk in the same colour, and behind it sat an old man, but he was accompanied by a figure Y/N recognised right away. Portia walked straight up to the desk, a huge smile on her face.

“Good afternoon, miss,” the old man said, smiling right back at her.

“Hi, my sister and I would love to just enter the exhibition, please.”

“20 pounds, then.” Jamie said, standing bent over a pile of papers that they were signing and reading over.

“No, you don’t understand,” Portia started, turning around and beckoning Y/N over. “My sister is a good friend of H. Styles.”

Jamie looked up, their eyes immediately landing on Y/N. And just like that, she was brought right back to last summer and everything Jamie had told Harry on one of her last nights there. So many memories washed over her that it made her a little dizzy. The car rides where she and Jamie would sit in the backseat and discuss animals, life, or anything else that would’ve caught their attention. The other times when they’d wait for Harry to get ready downstairs. She didn’t know how to act. Did she give them a hug? Did she smile? Did she say something? This was exactly why she didn’t want to go.

“Y/N,” Jamie said, standing up straight.

“So you recognise her!” Portia was elated. “Can we just walk on in then?”

Jamie and Y/N didn’t break eye contact, both at a loss for words. It was clear that something went down between them, that there was something unspoken in the air of the reception hall. Y/N looked away, not wanting to have Portia ask her about Jamie once they entered the gallery. She didn’t want to tell her; didn’t want to recount anything from her time in Italy.

“Yeah,” Jamie hastily reached for two brochures, locking eyes with Y/N again as he handed them to her. Portia raised her eyebrows, catching on that something was going on. She looked at Y/N. “Don’t take any photographs, if any of our guards see you do so, you will be asked to leave and pay a fine. Other than that, I hope you enjoy.” Y/N knew they were talking to both her and Portia, but by the look in their eyes, she felt as though they were talking to her alone.

“Thank you very much.” Portia smiled, taking one of the brochures and walking away from them.

Y/N looked at the brochure, just as baby blue as the sheet that had covered the front of the gallery, the same writing on it as well. Her eyes met Jamie’s again, and there was something about the way they glanced at her that was so sad. Somewhere in the wrinkle between their eyebrows Y/N saw an apology of sorts. Regret so deep and intense that she could feel it herself. They didn’t say anything, but Y/N felt the agony; saw something in their eyes that she hadn’t experienced herself, but that they needed her to see. She gave them a small smile before following Portia and walking around the wall behind the reception desk, keeping her eyes on the brochure in her hands.

If meeting Jamie had her shaken up this bad, she didn’t even want to begin to think what an encounter with Harry would bring. The leaflet was shaking in her hand, begging for her to open it. What would it even hold? Copies of the paintings? No, if they weren’t allowed to take pictures inside, why would he have them attached in leaflets for anyone to see?

“Oh, my word.” Portia said, making Y/N look up.

The entrance to the gallery had her halting. Just like everything else, she recognised it right away. All over the wall was a painting she’d seen on her first week last summer; seen on one of her last days when she’d shown it to Harry.

“When I first moved into the flat, I found a painting in this wardrobe.” She pulled it down, taking a glance at the autumn painting depicting a gravel path leading nowhere into darkness. Turning around, she walked back over to the bed, handing the painting to Harry. “That’s only one of like, two of your paintings I’ve really seen, other was one of the sea back in your house. Mind if I ask what inspired this one?”

A projector planted it on the dark surface, welcoming the guests to the gallery. A gravel path leading off far into the dark distance, tall oak trees surrounding it, filled with the rich colours of autumn. Though it was filled with yellow and green, two colours that would normally have positive connotations, Y/N couldn’t help but get quite the opposite vibes staring at it, just like all the other times she’d seen it. There was something about it she couldn’t put her finger on. Like there laid a secret at the end of the path; an explanation in the black of the unknown.

“It’s the drive to my house back in Manchester. The drive up to my childhood home, or… this is facing the other way.” He explained, dragging his finger gently along the gravel path. “It’s what you see when you’re leaving.” He shifted the attention of his finger to the trees of different colours. “Autumn, the dull colours…” he trailed off, as if reliving a memory he’d almost suppressed; something he’d pushed so far into the back of his head it had almost vaporised and disappeared into nothingness. “This was when I left home, when I first moved to London.” He pointed at the darkness at the end of the gravel path. “That’s the end of the road, I couldn’t make it out clearly. My future, I mean. It’s all supposed to represent uncertainty.”

Portia looked over her shoulder at Y/N, squealing. The darkness at the end of the painting was a hallway, a dark corridor that seemed to be leading off into nowhere. Her sister stood there waiting for her, reaching her hand out so they could walk through the darkness together. But Y/N needed to take a moment and just look at the wall, because it was one of the very first of his paintings she’d ever seen, and now she was about to see all of the other paintings he had refused to let her see. Taking a deep breath, she walked forward, took Portia’s hand, and the two walked into the dark hallway. Y/N felt her grip on Portia’s hand tighten for each step they took

“Why didn’t they just put some bloody lights in here?-“

But just as Portia said that, the exhibition was revealed to them. It was black. Dim white lights lit up the room on the walls and ceiling, illuminating the floating balls that were lined up down the room. Looking at the walls first, Y/N realised the light appeared as stars. Dotted along the walls and ceiling, lighting up the room and revealing the huge round objects that appeared to be floating, but was held from the ceiling and the floor by metal poles. The first one was completely dark, and as the two sisters walked on closer, Portia gasped a little.

“Y/N,”

“What?”

“How many planets are there in our Solar System?”

Y/N frowned, but as her eyes met Portia’s she understood immediately. Taking a step to the side, she looked down the room, seeing that there were quite a few others visiting the gallery as well. Harry was an immense painter, after all. Everyone knew who he was. However, Y/N couldn’t focus on the other people in the room with her, she started counting the different sized round objects that were nicely lined.

“Eight.” Y/N answered.

“And how many-“

“-Eight.”

Portia squeezed Y/N’s hand, eyes wide with some kind of realisation. The sisters looked at one another for a minute before Portia opened her mouth to speak again.

“Why the fuck has he done that, Y/N?”

Y/N shook her head. “Dunno.-“

“-You do.” Portia said. “That’s why that person back there looked at you all intense as well, wasn’t it? What happened last summer? You never spoke of it.”

Y/N sighed, closing her eyes. “Portia, it’s… it’s incredibly complicated and… and it’s a long story.”

Portia groaned, clinging to Y/N’s arm. “I don’t care, Y/N. I want to know. For fuck’s sake, look around you,”

Y/N opened her eyes, doing as her sister told her to.

“It’s so painfully obvious, Y/N.”

 Y/N refused to believe it was. She didn’t want to believe that what Portia was insinuating was true, because it would mean the last few months had been for nothing. It would mean the countless hours she’d cried, the times she stopped herself from thinking about him, from yearning for him, from going back to a time spent with him and cursing herself for doing so; it was not worth it. Trying to forget him had meant nothing.

Portia tapped Y/N’s arm, catching her attention. She gestured at the painting they stood in front of, giving Y/N a little smile. Y/N looked at it, and she was immediately taken back to the exact moment of it.

There was a hole in the planet in the shape of the canvas, white light washing over it to reveal it completely to the gallery visitors. Portia opened the catalogue as Y/N studied the painting Harry had never let her view. His first painting of her.

“Miss Sweeney,” Harry said, pointing at the hill. “You-“

“-You can just call me Y/N.”

“You need to stand far away.”

Shocking. But there was no use making that comment. She took her cardigan off, putting it along with her purse in the backseat of the car.

“You will find a tree further down if you just walk straight ahead, it’s got a blue ribbon on it. Stop there with your back facing me. And don’t move until I tell you so.”

As she started walking down the hill, she could feel Harry watching her, studying her every move and every surface of her body. She supposed he wanted to make sure she found the ribbon, as well as to see what he was working with.

An abundance of colours surrounded her; green, grey, yellow, brown. She could barely make out the baby blue dress amongst the nature swallowing her, there was no way of knowing the colour of her hair, the proper colour of her skin, or any of her characteristics. The only thing that stood out was the colour of her dress, but even that wasn’t as prominent as she remembered the colour to be.

“Won’t that smear the paint everywhere?”

Harry looked at her, those two familiar lines appearing between his brows. “How?”

“Shouldn’t it be left to dry or something?”

“It’s dry.”

She frowned back at him. “Already?”

“I finished a while ago, left it to dry for around an hour.”

The memory made her smile some, regardless of how infuriated she remembered being. It was the fact that they had started out like that; polar opposites with absolutely nothing in common. Two people who couldn’t see eye to eye on anything. That fact was easy to note in the first painting, seeing the insignificant role she played in the actual painting. The Tuscan landscape could’ve done fine without her presence in it, she wasn’t even placed in the middle of the painting where nature parted to reveal Fosdinovo, but somewhere to the right of it, in the middle of the trees.

Portia tugged at Y/N’s sleeve, motioning for her to follow her to the next painting behind the first one. It was the same as the first one; a rectangle shaped hole in the dark planet, lights surrounding it to show it off. She smiled again.

“It’s beautiful here.”

“Do you see that rock over there?”

She rolled her eyes. “Yes.”

“Sit there facing me.”

She knew there was no use saying anything back, so she simply walked over to the rock and sat down like he wanted her to. It wasn’t comfortable to sit on, and she didn’t think she’d be able to sit there for two hours straight. Then again if she decided she needed a break, the painter would undoubtedly show his annoyance in some way. He instructed her to straighten her legs, crossing them at the ankle, leaning back on her hands. He said he wanted her to “be looking directly into the sun.”

“That could literally ruin my eyes.”

“Art goes beyond comfort.”

“I want to be able to see said art.”

Y/N felt like she was transported right back to the moment of the painting, like she could feel, see, smell everything. Though she had known that would probably be the effect once she saw the collection, she hadn’t been aware it would be this intense. The notion Harry had painted these of her; that he had painted them before, during, and after everything happened between them, it struck her. He’d been working on these for so long; she had been a forced part of his life for so long. Maybe that was why they’d stopped talking. He’d gotten tired of her. Gotten enough of her.

The colour of her dress was the same as the previous painting; it stood out, but not in a contrasting way like you thought the colour of baby blue would when surrounded by woods. The white sunlight lit up most of her surroundings, making them blend well with the dress, but then again, she could recall quite clearly how bright the sun had been that day. Though she had hated the heat of the Italian weather in the beginning, towards the end she’d gotten kind of used to it. It was almost cold coming back home to a normal British summer.

Y/N groaned, positioning her head like he wanted her to. “Went to this baker Wednesday.” It just slipped out. She had genuinely not meant to say it, but now that she’d already mentioned it, she might as well go all the way.

Harry didn’t respond.

“Said you were known around town as the grumpy Brit.”

She didn’t see him stop painting, but she could tell he halted a little. “Who said that?”

Trying not to smile as she had somehow managed to capture his attention. “Does it matter?” Y/N didn’t know why people wanted to know what someone else thought of them. It was out of their control. Then again, she supposed, she’d brought it up so it was partly her fault he asked in the first place.

Harry huffed.

“What?”

“Hm?”

“What was the –“ Y/N imitated his exasperated huff.

“Whoever said that,” Harry said, bending down a bit and disappearing completely behind the canvas. “They’re a fucking knobhead.”

Y/N nodded her head, pursing her lips before she clicked her tongue loudly. Harry glanced up. “Great argument.”

It was weird how there had been a time prior to how she was feeling now. That at the time of this painting, she hadn’t been in love with Harry. The hands that had created this artwork hadn’t yet touched her; hadn’t yet loved her. She wanted to reach through the glass that separated the canvas from them; wanted to feel the paint and the memories that came with it.

But Portia was impatient, having already started walking around the planet to the next one. She looked down into the brochure, a furrow to her brows and concentration on her face as she read something on it before taking in the third painting. This was the one Y/N almost remembered best. This was the one that changed her and Harry’s relationship in a way neither of them was made aware of till after. You don’t realise the pivotal moments in your life till after they’ve happened, but as they’re happening, you don’t understand their incredible impact. Harry nor Y/N knew how big of a role Viola would play in their lives. What her presence would do to them.

“Is that a smile I see?” she teased. “You got a rise out of me, and now you’re pleased with yourself?”

He bit his bottom lip, shaking his head without looking away from the painting before him.

“Right then.” Y/N said, eager to get the conversation going again. “What’re you best at? There’s a lot of stuff you can do with gymnastics, innit?”

Harry wasted no time. “Swing bar.”

Y/N’s eyebrows immediately shot upward. Trying to be subtle, she let her eyes fall to his muscular arms, his broad shoulders and the curve of his slight biceps. The tan he’d gotten did wonders to the outline of his muscles. Stop, stop, stop-

“Explains the arms.”

Oh. My. God. Immediately she felt her cheeks heat up. And her blushing got worse when Harry looked up at her. He huffed.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’ve been checking me out.”

She rolled her eyes. “I have not.”

She walked closer, feeling her bottom lip start to wobble as she saw the painting. Harry had depicted the cliff, the ocean, the forest, the atmosphere of that clifftop perfectly. It was exactly as she remembered it. Just looking at it brought her back to finding Viola, to watching Harry pet her to calm her down, the closeness in the back of Gioele’s car. How willing Harry was to help. How good he’d smelled. How hot his skin had been against hers. That was the first time she’d ever seen him smile; first time she’d seen him happy. It was the first time she saw him show compassion; saw him worry. She hadn’t known then, but she knew for certain now, that if Viola hadn’t stepped out of the woods at that second on that day while Harry and Y/N hadn’t been talking, then none of this would’ve happened.

“What?” His voice was a whisper, the small word leaving his lips like a simple puff of air that hit her jaw, sending a storm of goosebumps up and down her back.

“Your…” she started, swallowing thickly before looking down at the cat in her arms. “Your moped.”

“I’ll get it later.”

She hated that he sounded like he wasn’t faced by the close proximity at all.

“What if someone steals your painting?”

Looking up at him, she realised once again how close they were. They might have been close earlier when he helped calm the cat down outside, but this… this was close. She felt his hot breath against her lips, in her nose; felt his eyes on her like there was nowhere else to look in the car; felt everything too much. He was… so handsome. So incredibly good looking. There was undoubtedly sweat along her hairline and cupid bow, but she literally could not reach up to remove it right now. She was unable to move, not only because of the cat, but because of Harry.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Y/N,” Portia said, pointing at the painting. “What’s that?”

Y/N walked over, looking at what Portia had asked her about. Though she didn’t see it at first, having mistaken it for a dark rock or something alike, Y/N gasped a little when she realised what it was. Small pointy ears, fur a dark brown with some striped black and desert brown and a tail swaying upward. The cat was so tiny, hidden amongst the tall grass by the forest, looking at Y/N with big pleading eyes. Y/N had almost forgotten what Viola looked like, but seeing her on the canvas, it was like being back in Fosdinovo, walking the cobblestoned streets with the little kitten following her every step.

“Viola.” Y/N answered, blinking a few times as her eyesight started to blur.

“What?”

“A cat.”

“A live one?”

“I, uhh,” Y/N nodded. “The day of that painting we found an injured cat in the woods and brought her to the nearest vet so I could help nurse her. She’d broken her foot.”

Portia looked at Y/N, raising her eyebrows. “And you called her Viola?”

“Yeah,” Y/N didn’t take her eyes off the cat. “She stayed with me the rest of the summer.”

Portia turned to face her sister. “Where is she now?”

“Dunno.” Y/N sighed. “I… dunno.”

Y/N looked at Portia, giving her a little smile before walking towards the next painting. Looking at Viola and knowing that she’d left the cat in Harry’s house in Fosdinovo, also knowing Harry had most likely moved out of the Italian mountain village, it hurt. She had no idea what happened to the cat after she left. Absolutely no idea of how she was doing or who was taking care of her now. There were many times when Y/N had cursed herself for not bringing Viola back home with her. After all, they had created a little bond between them that Y/N now realised would stay with her forever.

Walking up to the fourth painting, Y/N felt herself halt some, watching as Portia walked right up to it to study it properly. Y/N wasn’t sure if it was because Harry had taught her about how he painted during the summer, if she was getting an eye for these things, or if she was just that observant, but she could swear there was something about this one that set it apart from the other few she’d seen up till now.

It dawned on her that for each painting, her figure had gotten closer and closer to Harry. As if the focus shifted from the nature around her to her alone. From far away in the first one, to taking up the whole lower half of the canvas in this fourth one. Her figure was the first thing you saw. The baby blue dress that only barely covered her bum, her bare legs, her white knee socks, her white docs.

“Don’t bend your knee that much.”

Y/N readjusted her knee.

“No.”

“Then how?!”

The grass shifted behind her, and looking to her right, she noticed Harry walking over. For some reason, Harry getting closer got her heart beating so hard she heard it in her ears and her muscles tensing. He sat down before her, a concentrated furrow to his brows that wasn’t at all intimidating. He just looked focused, deep inside his own head, constructing and planning his new painting.

For some reason, she hadn’t thought of the reason for Harry coming over, only that he was. So when he reached for her leg, she almost jumped.

She blinked as she remembered the first time Harry touched her willingly like that. How he had barked orders at her in the beginning, to coming over and moving her leg like he’d done. It made her thigh seem very cold all of a sudden.

“You’re not being serious right now.” Portia hissed, sliding her finger in the air along with the outline of the mountains at the far back of the painting.

They were dark against the pink, orange, and blue sky, so was the forest, making Y/N stand out majestically against everything else. The hint of a small white outline in the sky showed the presence of the early moon, welcoming the oncoming night. Y/N couldn’t remember seeing the moon that afternoon, but then again, she didn’t remember much besides the fact that she laughed with Harry that day and he touched her bare thigh. But Portia had miraculously seen what had captured Y/N’s attention as well. The landscape in the painting, though it wasn’t blatantly obvious, it resembled her figure. It swayed where her hips did; dipped where her legs did. It did so in a natural manner, Harry had made them seem like actual mountains and not just a replica of her curves, but Y/N couldn’t see anything else.

“The blue,” Portia said, pointing at Y/N’s dress and then at the slight streak of blue in the sky. “Kinda looks alike, does it not?”

Y/N didn’t pay much attention to it. She started walking away, eager to see the next painting, which she knew was a very special one because it might be the one she remembered the most clearly. As she rounded the planet and started walking toward the fifth one, a huge white orb caught her attention. The detail in all of Harry’s creations caught her off guard, but the moon she was looking at right now looked so real it took her breath away. She saw herself standing in the water; saw the baby blue dress; the knee socks and her Dr Marten’s in the sand. It all looked like a photograph, only the moon was abnormally big. But all his paintings looked so real it was almost like if you stripped the display of the glass protection, you could walk right into the world he’d created on the canvas and live there forever.

“What about you?” he asked again, voice low like a mumble.

Y/N hoped he couldn’t tell how fast her heart was hammering, how every nerve in her entire body was on high alert, how every cell was screaming for him to get closer. “What about me?”

“You’re never as alone as your head makes you believe. The moon is always there.” He said, eyes searching her face. “What about you?”

“Will I always be there?”

He just looked at her, clearly thinking that his look was answer enough.

Her breath hitched somewhere in her throat, and she hoped the rush of emotions that was running through her didn’t show on her face. Portia looked at her with an open mouth before taking in the fifth painting. Y/N knew exactly how her sister was feeling; that overwhelming need to ask herself and everyone else in the room if this was an actual painting, or something from someone’s most desired fantasy captured exactly as it was and printed onto canvas. And maybe it was. But Harry had taken days, weeks, months to finish these paintings, Y/N knew. She remembered those times when she’d watch him paint and he’d refuse to let her see them. She didn’t know why he didn’t want her to see them.

It was so beautiful it was hard to believe someone had made it; it just seemed too celestial for it to be real. She wanted to touch it where Harry had touched it, feel the strokes he’d made, the lines of paint. There was something about this one that sent a shock of pain through her heart no medicine could cure.

“I’d stay up only to get a small glimpse of you.”

She balled her hands into fists, digging her fingernails into her skin to hold herself back from crying. Because all she could remember was how fast Harry had kissed her back when she’d kissed him, the feeling of his lips against hers, and the taste of peach tea on his tongue. His hands roaming her body, gripping onto her thighs as she hooked her legs around his waist. His body against hers, their cells mingling, the moon shining her white light down on them, and the ocean swaying around them.

Portia walked around the planet and onto the next one, and giving the moon one last glance, Y/N followed her. Y/N couldn’t even remember this one. Maybe it was because everything that happened after the wedding blurred together, or maybe she’d just not thought about it enough for it to take up space in her head. But as she got closer, the idea of her being a model for this painting seemed unlikely.

The canvas was black as night, a huge moon in the centre of it like the one before. A figure was floating in the middle of the white moon, a baby blue gown clinging to its form and floating up behind them like they were sinking. As she got closer, Y/N saw that this wasn’t her. All the other paintings were of her, but this one wasn’t. This was Harry.

His arms were floating at an almost 90-degree angle, the baby blue gown hovering behind his arms and torso, just barely covering some of his thighs and crotch. One of his knees was bent a bit more than the other, and the tattoos he had up and down his muscular legs were very visible, making Y/N think back to a time she’d been allowed to touch them. His neck was craned backward, eyes closed and mouth parted ever so slightly, bubbles of air leaving him and making a hasty return for the water’s surface. She remembered his fright of the dark, how much he hated the ocean, but his facial expression showed one of peace. He didn’t seem afraid; didn’t seem like he dreaded any of it. It seemed like he was okay; ready to reach tranquillity and the ultimate meaning to life. He was surrendering himself, it seemed.

“Y/N, I swear to you,” Portia said, pointing at different places on the painting. “Look.”

“At what?”

“You mean you don’t see it?”

“See what, Portia?” Y/N knew she must sound irritated, but with everything going on and all the emotions she was feeling at once, she simply could not hold her anger back.

“The painting,” Portia directed Y/N’s attention back to the canvas. “Do you see?”

Y/N took a closer look.

“Do you see all the blue?”

And it was like her little sister flicked a switch, and suddenly, Y/N saw it. Blue. Baby blue. It was hidden in the waves along the top of the painting, in the shadows of the water, in and around the moon, in his hair, his body, his gown. Taking a few steps back, Y/N wondered how she hadn’t picked up on the blue right away. It was all over the painting. Most of the details on that canvas were baby blue.

Quickly, Y/N walked all the way back to the first painting. Portia just watched her, unsure what was going on, but not wanting to interrupt something if Y/N had come to some sort of realisation.

The only blue in the first one was her dress, in the second one, the sky resembled her dress some. In the third, the sky, ocean, and a bit of the grass surrounding her held the same colour as her and her dress, and in the fourth the landscape swayed along with her form, the sky, the woods, and certain highlights were the exact colour of the dress. How hadn’t she seen it all the first time around? Because once she took a few steps back, the baby blue stood out starkly against everything else. Marching straight past the fifth and the sixth, Y/N wanted to see the last two. Because the second to last put the finishing touch on everything.

The entire canvas was baby blue. Her form was outlined in white, but none of her features were shown. Her breasts, face, or any other part of her body was not included. But Y/N would remember that exact pose till the day she died and long after that also. Because it was the one where Harry had drawn on her; her arms above her head, her knee bent, leg resting over the other. She wondered if this had been the one he’d painted when she laid on the floor of his loft, but why had he been so incredibly detailed when he painted on her if he was just going to erase it forever? Not include it in one of his masterpieces? It didn’t make any sense.

“You let him draw you like one of his bloody French girls.” Portia hissed, about to burst out laughing when she stopped herself. The room was silent as people walked through the exhibition, neither of them wanted to be thrown out or something to that effect.

Y/N looked at her sister. “Yes.”

Portia’s eyes got wide. “Shut the fuck up.”

“He painted on me.”

“Shut. Up.”

Y/N glanced at the painting again, noting that the only thing on that canvas was the very careful outline of her.

“Exactly how well did you fuck him for him to do that?”

“Portia!” Y/N hissed. “Leave off.”

“I’m serious, Y/N, this seems like the summer of your entire life.” Portia smiled, raising her eyebrows suggestively. “Did he do you good at least?”

Y/N only gave her a look.

“Oh, come on.” Portia pouted. “I just found out my sister has been shagging with my boss all summer, I want the deets.”

“Can that happen another time? I’m a little busy-“ Y/N gestured around her and Portia nodded, clearly eager to be done here so she could hear Y/N explain everything to her over the phone on her commute home.

“You know,” Portia started, holding up the leaflet. “If you’d just bothered and taken the time to look in the brochure, there’s a lot of information about all the paintings.”

Y/N frowned.

“I kind of had my suspicions about the two of you before you even said something just now.”

Y/N looked down at her brochure, reading the front of it again as she walked toward the last painting. She wanted to go through everything one more time and read the leaflet, she needed to know all the details and all the reasons why Harry had done what he’d done. When she glanced up again, the first thing she noticed was how the planet surrounding the canvas was glowing. A dark golden colour, looking a little like the moon, but as if it was on fire on the inside, the surface of it pure gold. She turned around and looked down the row of planets, meeting Portia’s eyes right after.

“The first one is black,” Portia said. “And the last one is golden.”

Y/N felt her heart hammering faster, felt herself begin to sweat.

“With each planet, you slowly fade into-“

“-Venus.” She finished, looking at the last planet she’d been named after. Y/N Venus Sweeney. She was so overwhelmed she felt a little faint, though she hadn’t known what to expect from the exhibition, this – all of it – was not it. She didn’t want to draw conclusions and think this whole collection was about her, but right now, looking at everything around her, it was hard to think anything else.

She still had one more painting to go, so she grabbed the leaflet and walked to stand in front of it. Instantly, she remembered it. She’d seen this one before. It seemed like ages ago, but she had seen this painting. It was the same one Gioele had stolen from Harry’s house and given to Salvatore and Carina as a wedding gift. Y/N had no idea why that one would be in the collection, what had made Harry put it there. She was just about to open the brochure and read what it said about this particular one when she heard a commotion behind her. The screeching of joggers against the floor as if someone was running, some gasps, Jamie shouting something.

Y/N turned around, and she recognised him right away. Her heart immediately started screaming his name. He walked down the row of planets in a haste, frantically scanning the crowds surrounding each quickly till he came to the last one where she stood. He stopped abruptly as his eyes landed on hers, a sigh of relief leaving him in between pants for air. Had he been running? Quickly, he swallowed, trying to regain his composure before he did anything. While he did that, Y/N took him in.

His hair had grown, he must’ve trimmed it some since last summer, but his curls were lush, his hair thick, and just as brown as she remembered it. He was wearing a colour-block patchwork cardigan with all the colours of the rainbow, a white tee shirt with some blue artwork printed on it, washed denim jeans, and his signature pink Converse. He looked healthy, maybe not as tan as she remembered him to be, but he looked good. He looked like the same Harry she had fallen in love with back then; it was still him. He was here. Right before her. After months apart, he was here.

“Y/N.” He said, voice faint as he took a reluctant step forward. It was like he realised what he was doing – getting closer to her when he had no idea if she still wanted that - and was almost about to take a step backward again but stopped himself.

She was unable to say anything at all. One second she had been about to take in the last painting of the collection, and the next Harry had rushed into his gallery and now he stood right in front of her. It didn’t seem real. The months they hadn’t talked, the months they hadn’t seen each other. They all hung in the air between them, pushed them apart from one another; demanding them to keep separated. She wanted to defy their distance, wanted to fling herself into his arms and melt into him like she had done so many times before, but the uncertainty, the separation, and the many curious eyes watching them stopped her.

Harry was about to say something else when his eyes fell on something behind her, clamping his mouth shut.

“Hi,” Portia said. “Don’t know if you remember me.”

“I-I do, I…” Harry’s eyes fell to Y/N again as he trailed off, glancing back at Portia after clearing his throat. “Portia.”

“And you’re H. Styles.” Y/N could hear the smile in Portia’s voice, and Y/N knew instantly she was taking the piss, telling Harry she knew exactly who he was and why he was here. Whispers were heard, as if the visitors all suddenly realised who they were looking at. Someone gasped and someone on the other side of the room started walking closer. Harry looked around him as if he just understood what he’d done by coming here. Their eyes met again, and Harry let out a sigh.

“Can we talk?” he asked, eyes big and pleading. “Please.”

Y/N looked at everyone around them, then back at Harry, hoping he’d understand that she didn’t want to do it in front of everyone else. Taking a few steps backward, Harry began walking towards the exit of the exhibition, making sure Y/N caught up with him before he started walking normally. Y/N glanced at Portia over her shoulder, but Portia was grinning so widely Y/N knew her sister was okay with her leaving her behind for a bit.

The next room they entered was just as dark as the first one, but the paintings were huge projections onto the walls, ceiling, and floor, showcasing all the details each of them portrayed. Harry walked quickly through the room, having seen this multiple times before – having created this -, but Y/N slowed. The attention to detail was incredible; it looked so real, yet it still looked like art. She was never able to really put her finger on it, but then again, she supposed that was what creativity was. The lines between what was certain and what was a craft from someone’s imagination, blurred to the point of doubt, yet it’s human nature to find an explanation for everything; but in art we find an excuse not to have one. Maybe that was what drew people to it; it was real, but not real enough to need reason.

He held the door open for her, leading her to a smoking area in the back of the gallery. Two trees rose up, some dead grass sprung up between the stone flooring, and, thankfully, no one was there. The sun was still shining, and somewhere not too far off, an ambulance siren was going off. It was weird to be with Harry in an environment other than quiet, warm, rural Fosdinovo, it was almost as if she associated him with the peace of the Italian countryside now. But she didn’t mind having him here in London. Not in the least. In fact, she liked it very much.

“Y/N,” he repeated, almost as if he didn’t really know what else to say; almost as if he had to repeat her name over and over and over again to tell himself that she was really here. He just looked at her, studying her intently, probably to make sure she was okay.

“I didn’t know…” she started, blinking a few times. “Didn’t know you were in London.”

“I’m in London.”

“But I didn’t know you were.”

“But I am.”

“You didn’t tell me.”

Harry sighed. “No.”

“Why?”

Harry opened his mouth but hesitated. “I… I just… It’s not as if I…” he ran a hand through his hair, sighing again. “I didn’t know if you wanted me to.”

She frowned. “What made you think that?”

“We haven’t talked in a couple of months, have we? Maybe you’d forgotten about me.”

“You think I’d forgotten about you?” Y/N crossed her arms. “I’m not the one who got disinterested and pulled away.”

Harry’s face screwed up into that familiar scowl she had seen so many times before. “I never bloody lost interest, what’re you on about?”

“Seemed that way over text.”

“Those are text messages!” Harry gestured with his arms, very obviously frustrated. “How much can you tell from a text?!”

“A lot!”

Harry groaned. “Y/N, please.”

She stood her ground, looking at him and waiting for him to say something that would change her mind. How had they gone months without talking, months before that with barely any communication, and he didn’t think she’d be annoyed at him for that. She was annoyed at herself, too. It takes two to communicate.

“I don’t want to fight.” He said. “I… I just… I don’t want to fight. Can we just talk?”

“We’re talking.”

Harry’s eyes fell to the ground, nodding a bit before he dared look up at her. “What’ve you been up to?”

Though she wanted to yell at him, tell him that she’d been busy writing and researching her dissertation, that she had been busy missing him, she composed herself. She might be frustrated, but Harry was trying, so she should as well.

“Uni,” she simply said. “And you?”

Harry let out a short breath through his nose. “Figured, stupid question, really.”

She couldn’t help the slight tug at the edge of her lips.

“Been travelling the world, showing off the exhibition.” He gestured back at the gallery. “It’s been wonderful, but I’m glad it’s over now. Can relax for a bit before I start painting for clients again.”

“It’s quite the exhibit.”

Harry nodded.

“Almost a little too extra.”

He let out a chuckle, eyes falling to the ground again. “You think?”

“Wasn’t it hard travelling around with all of that?” Y/N asked, thinking about the huge planets – or rather Venuses – back in the exhibition. Seemed unlikely that they travelled far distances with all of that, but then again, what did she know, she hadn’t talked to him in a long while. And when they did talk, it wasn’t about the transportation of his collection from country to country because he never talked about it.

“No, we drove around most of the time, then by plane when it got to travelling from continent to continent.”

She nodded. “Fair enough.”

His eyes flicked between hers, inhaling slowly. The sun hit the top of his hair, making his locks shine like gold, and Y/N remembered the countless number of times before she’d seen his hair like that in the early morning light, or a bright sunset. Memories are supposed to bring you joy, especially those remembered with fondness, but those are also the ones that hurt the most to relive.

“Are we really gonna chat about anything but what we want to chat about?” Harry asked, face very serious all of a sudden.

“Which is?”

“Us.” Harry said, something in his throat making the word almost sound choked. “And… and…”

She waited, feeling her heart beat harder in her chest.

“And us some more.”

She let out a small chuckle.

“What?”

“Start then.”

She could tell he wanted to frown at her, as if he wanted her to have a certain reaction. But he didn’t, instead he let his shoulders fall a bit, taking her in for a few moments more before he decided to start talking again.

“I thought you’d forgotten about me.”

It hurt every time he said that, as if he didn’t believe that what she’d felt this summer wasn’t half of what he had.

“Tortured me to think about you.”

She took a little step backward, not wanting to listen to him talk on about how she’d hurt him.

“But the thought of you also brought me peace, as it always has. Brought me inspiration and motivation.” He took a step closer to her. “I miss you. I’ve missed you since the day I was brought into this world, I never knew I did till I was without you.”

Those three words radiated throughout her entire body, her heart screaming them right back at his. I miss you I miss you I miss you I-

“Please don’t…” he trailed off, balling his hands into fists as if he was mad at himself for not finding the right words for what he was feeling. “Don’t leave.”

She swallowed, not wanting the hundreds of butterflies and warm feelings in her chest to get the better of her when she answered. “Don’t leave… now? In general?-“

“-Don’t leave me. If not as a lover, as a friend. I need you in my life to some capacity.”

“Harry-“

“-I’m in love with you, Y/N.” His voice was so soft, yet urgent. He needed her to feel the same way, to understand what he was talking about. “I love you.”

Every cell in her body vibrated with the effect of those words, telling Harry she felt the same. In every way one person could love another, she loved him.

“If you even feel a fragment the same, please tell me.” His eyes were so big, pleading with her.

She felt so much all at once, finding the right words – finding words at all – was difficult. Every single part of her tried, her brain working hard and fast so she wouldn’t leave him hanging. But that was exactly what she did. So overwhelmed with absolutely everything today had brought, she couldn’t do anything but feel.

Harry’s jaw visibly tensed with the lack of response. “Or don’t.”

She opened her mouth, brain working a hundred miles a second to find words for him.

“If you don’t, then that’s fine. I won’t pretend it’s not gonna hurt and I’ll need some time to come to terms with it.” He sighed, eyes falling to the ground as if he couldn’t look at her now. “I… I was terrified this would happen.”

She couldn’t just stay fucking silent, she had to say something. Speak you bloody nonce, don’t do him like this. “Harry-“

“-What I’ve been most scared about since we stopped talking is that I played an insignificant role in your life, when you played the most significant in mine.” His eyes were still on the flooring, gripping the ends of his colourful cardigan. “A part you won’t talk about with others, that you keep a secret.”

“I’m not ashamed of this summer, Harry-“

“-I feared you’d never need me like I need you.” He said, voice thick with something resembling torment. “Because I just… I know we have no power over who we end up loving, you meet someone and before you know it, they’re so important to you that imagining a life without them in it is like staring uninspired at a blank canvas. But I’ve chosen to pour every ounce of my love onto you. I’ve chosen you, and I’ll continue to choose you without hesitation and without fail, for the rest of my life.”

She felt her eyes sting, fearing that she’d start crying if he continued on talking. Why was it that before their first kiss, Harry hadn’t been one for talking, but after it he hadn’t dithered? Everything he’d told her since had been so heartfelt and true, she felt like he was putting words to her very own feelings.

The right words wouldn’t come, and she felt like the longer she left him standing there in silence, the longer she let him ramble on, the more catastrophic this would get. Because she felt the same for him, but what she felt was so enormous and she was afraid she’d never find words for it. She wasn’t one for art or expression. She studied science and medicine and animals, she knew all that, but she didn’t know how to tell someone like Harry what he wanted to hear. Most of the time, at least before, he didn’t need her to say anything. Her presence, her touch, her comfort was enough for him. He never expected anything else from her but to reciprocate his feelings. Which she did. Oh, did she love him. More than she thought possible.

“I-“ she started, but cut herself off as she didn’t know where it was going. Harry looked up at her instantly, instant hope in his eyes. “Your exhibit.”

Not the appropriate thing to be talking about right now, she thought to herself, but better than nothing.

“Could you explain it to me?”

He blinked. “Explain it?”

“Yes,” she said, feeling every surface of her body heat up. “Because I knew you were painting me, but I didn’t…”

His eyes lingered on her lips for a second, but he quickly composed himself, a slight redness appearing along his cheekbones. A wave of goosebumps ran up her spine.

“I didn’t expect…”

“Didn’t expect the whole exhibition to be about you?”

She just looked at him, biting her bottom lip.

Harry let out an amused chuckle. “You’re the smartest person I know, thought you might get it right away, to be completely honest with you.”

“It took me off guard.”

“Right, should I walk you through it, then?” Harry gestured at the gallery. “Want to see it?”

She sensed irritation in his voice and sighed. “You don’t have-“

“-Don’t fucking say I don’t have to. You asked about the exhibit. You don’t understand, even though I just made it very clear for you. So, let's.”

He walked toward the door, flinging it open and beckoning for Y/N to walk through it first. Walking first, he stomped straight through the entire exhibition, right past people who were leaving. They all looked over at Y/N and Harry as they walked the opposite way, a few raised eyebrows and some whispering. Portia still stood in the first room with the eight planets, looking up as Y/N and Harry came back. A smile first graced her features, but seeing the look on Harry’s face and how fast they were both walking, she quickly pieced together that something was happening.

“This,” Harry said as they reached the reception, pointing at the wall with the projection of that painting Y/N had found in the flat in Fosdinovo. The drive to his childhood home in Manchester. “You recognise this?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

She gave him a look to tell him she didn’t appreciate his tone. He didn’t seem to care.

“Told you the path leads to uncertainty, hence the darkness at the end of it. I didn’t know where my life would lead me and I was terrified. Now,” he pointed to the dark corridor. “What does that lead to?”

Y/N blinked a few times, looking up at Harry when he didn’t continue talking. But he was already glancing down at her, raised eyebrows and a stoic look on his face. Though she was tempted to tell him to shove it if he was going to keep that attitude up, she didn’t. She needed to tell him how she felt, that he wasn’t alone in wanting more. She needed to find the right words. But right now, knowing Harry, he’d just get furious with her if she told him now that he was putting the effort in and showing her what everything meant.

“The paintings.”

“It leads to the exhibition.”

“That’s the same thing.”

Harry didn’t respond, he just walked towards the corridor without looking back. Y/N felt her anger bubble up, but she tried to control it as she followed him to the first room of the exhibition.

“Hope you know what the solar system is.” Harry shouted back to her.

She dug her nails into the palm of her hands, gritting her teeth from responding. Portia was standing at the other side of the room, watching them with wide eyes. Everyone else had left, she realised. The gallery was closing, and Harry’s exhibition needed to be taken down so the next one could be put up. This was his very last day showing his collection. Y/N gave her a look to keep quiet, the last thing Harry needed now was Portia intervening.

“Our solar system’s got eight planets-“

“-I bloody know how many planets there are in our solar system-“

“-But to me and my life,” Harry walked to the side of the room, pointing down at the last planet. The full Venus. Her plant. “In my universe, there’s only one.”

She didn’t know what to say to that.

“They each fade more and more into Venus. Notice how the first one’s black.”

“Like the end of the painting I found in Fosdinovo.”

Harry’s arm fell to his side, having proven his point on why he’d chosen space to be the theme for his exhibition. He walked on over to the first painting; straight past Y/N, jaw still tense and the look in his eyes enraged. She realised this was torturing him. Going through everything without knowing how she felt, and probably fearing – and believing – the worst. She had to say something.

“This one,” he pointed. “We can barely see you. You were a fucking pain in my arse.”

“Hey!”

“There’s only one dot of baby blue, you’re far away from where I’m standing.”

“If you don’t-“

“-Next one,” he walked onto the second one without Y/N even having reached him and the first painting. “You’re closer to me, still not very close, still not a lot of blue. Only some in the sky. Didn’t do it on purpose.”

“Harry, slow down-“

“-Third,” it seemed he was on a mission, wanting this to be over with as quickly as possible. “You’re close. You can see baby blue in the sky, ocean, your dress, some in the grass. Still not doing it on purpose.”

She jogged over to the fourth as he did, really wanting to take a grip of his arm and tell him to calm down. But she had no right. Not now. But she was still getting annoyed with him.

“Fourth is when I start doing it deliberately. Realised I caught feelings for you, and you can see that in the landscape, how it follows the outline of your body.” Harry pointed just as the lights inside the planets went out. “There’s baby blue in quite literally everything.”

The lack of lights to showcase the paintings didn’t stop him, Harry walked on. She ran after him, about to tell him to slow down again when he walked right past the beach painting with the huge moon.

“The night you changed the moon for me forever. Now I do as you said you do; I talk to her. Every night.”

Y/N felt her heart ache. She wondered, if they were both talking to the moon at the same time, if they were talking about one another, why didn’t the moon whisper Harry’s words into her ear and hers into his? Why didn’t she help them?

“You’re further away in that one ‘cause I realised I’d have to let you go at the end of the summer, didn’t want to get too attached.” A dry laugh slipped past his lips. “Look how well that worked out.”

They stopped in front of the second moon painting, where he was floating in what looked to be the middle of a huge and dark ocean.

“You once told me the moon knows all your deepest secrets and biggest desires,” Harry pointed at himself in the painting. “Here’s me surrendering myself to her.”

“Why’re you in the ocean?”

Harry chuckled, running both hands over his face as if he couldn’t believe her.

“What?”

He looked at her for a few seconds while clenching his jaw. “I used to be terrified of the dark and the ocean. You taught me monsters won’t magically appear just ‘cause you can’t see. They’re just as likely to show themselves in sunlight.” He glanced at the painting again, blinking a few too-many times as he looked away from her. “If you take your time to understand and truly look at this painting, you’ll understand it.”

She was about to open her mouth when Harry said, “And don’t use your ‘I only know science, I barely know how to interpret art’ rubbish.”

“Well, it’s true.” She mumbled, but Harry only clicked his tongue, disinterested in her insistence on not understanding art. He walked on to the next one, the one that was completely baby blue, where her body was carefully outlined in white.

“Here you can clearly tell-“

“-I have a question,” Y/N said, making Harry shut up. “That painting of me… the one where I’m… Where’s that one? I mean…”

Harry stared at her for a few seconds, waiting for her to continue, but when she never did, he mumbled another question right back at her, “You think I’d put a painting of your naked body on display in my exhibition?”

She just looked at him, seeing something in his eyes that was vaguely familiar but too far away to fully grasp.

“I’m keeping that one-“ he stopped himself, swallowing hard. “It’s private.”

She nodded.

“Anyway,” Harry went back to the painting before them. “You represent baby blue to me, so here’s your colour – you -,” he paused for a second. “Becoming everything.”

She looked at him, feeling everything within her wither and bloom at the same time. The painting seemed to take him back to a time long ago, every urge he had to do this as quickly as possible seemed to leave him when he looked at that painting. They still had one left, but he forgot about that, losing himself in a memory. And Y/N lost herself in him. Suddenly, proper lights lit up the room and the stars that had illuminated everything prior, disappeared.

“Harry!”

Harry didn’t meet Y/N’s eyes as he stepped away from the row of planets, looking up at Jamie how had shouted his name.

“Closing time. We need to pack up, mate.”

Harry nodded, looking over at Y/N who suddenly felt her heart pick up speed.

Jamie clapped their hands together. “Come on, you lot, you need to leave.”

For a few moments, it was like the two of them moved in slow motion. Harry took a few steps so he could face the other way, ready to leave through the backdoor, not breaking eye contact with Y/N. Once they looked away from one another, the rest of the world would resume being and they had to leave. Y/N had to say something, she had to tell him. But everything was clogged up somewhere in her throat, she wasn’t able to say anything. This whole exhibit… it was about her. Harry had cared so much about her and he still did. But she couldn’t find the right words. She had to say something. Had to let him know she felt the same way.

Harry’s jaw clenched again before he looked away from Y/N and started walking back down the way he’d taken Y/N before. Everything inside her went into panic mode.

“Harry.” She said, but he didn’t turn around. She started jogging after him. “Harry.”

“Y/N-“

“-Just a sec, Portia!” Y/N continued to follow Harry through the now lit exhibit. “Harry!”

He didn’t turn around still.

“Harry, please.” She took a grip of his arm.

Harry stopped, dragging his arm out of her grip. “Y/N, stop.”

The force of his words took her off guard and it took her a few seconds to compose herself. “I’m sorry.”

Harry nodded, looking behind Y/N at the closing exit door. “What?”

“I… I need to tell you that…” she swallowed, feeling her palms get clammy. “You said earlier that…”

Harry looked at her expectantly, something in the frantic way his eyes moved over her face and the quick breath he took made her think he detected reciprocation in her voice. “Yes?”

Her mouth opened, but no words came out. Her heart was beating hard and fast, she was beginning to sweat.

“What, Y/N?”

“I can’t, I-“ She ran both hands over her face, frustrated with herself. She groaned.

“What?”

“I know how I’m feeling, but I don’t know how to say it.”

Harry took a small step towards her. “Say what?”

“How I feel for you.”

He let out a small breath. “And how’s that?”

“Just how you feel about me.”

There was a single second when Harry’s eyes were filled with elation; like he was ready to embrace her, kiss her, and never let her go. Wanted to become one with her right then and there, to never leave her side again. A ghost of a smile grace his features and his shoulders lowered; his entire composure seemed to relax. As if all the anger he’d been carrying around with him in the gallery disappeared. But the next second, realisation sunk in and he glanced away for a second.

“Need to hear you say it.” He said, voice weak. “Know you say you’re not one for words, but there are moments in life when words are everything.”

Y/N felt a drop of sweat run down her back. Her head was spinning.

“I deserve to hear you say it yourself.” Harry said.

“I know! That’s why I’m trying so hard to say something!”

Harry nodded, eyes falling to the floor. “You’re not ready.”

Y/N frowned, sure her panic showed on her face. “I am ready. That’s why I followed you out here, isn’t it?”

“No, Y/N, you’re clearly not. You might feel it, but being vulnerable is hard for you. Admitting to being vulnerable isn’t something you know how to do.”

Y/N’s mouth fell open.

“Your whole life you’ve put up this cold and hard exterior to protect yourself from feeling too much. You’ve had a hard time receiving the love you needed while growing up, and you’ve been burned in the past-“

“-Don’t psychoanalyse me.” She pointed a finger at him. “You know I have a hard time opening up to people completely.”

“You have a hard time admitting to letting your guard down. You do it willingly, but there’s a part of you that just doesn’t want to admit it.”

“I said don’t psycho-“

“-I know, I’m sorry.” Harry took a few steps back, as if getting ready to walk away from her. “I’ll wait.”

She blinked. “For what?”

“You.”

“Me?”

Harry nodded, just about to turn around and leave when she called his name again.

“You just begged me to tell you I felt the same way, and I did.” Y/N said, taking a few steps toward him, but stopping herself. “I told you.”

“That you felt like I did.”

“Exactly.”

Harry let out a small chuckle and though it sent a swarm of butterflies straight to Y/N’s stomach, it also hurt because she knew the next few words would send her into a panic. “And thank you for that, but I told you how I felt. Now you need to tell me. Physical show of affection is nice, but proper verbal confirmation that someone loves you…” he trailed off, looking at her in silence for some seconds. “It’s key.”

“Harry-“

“-I love you.”

She fell silent, taken off guard. But the words warmed her so that she was sure she’d never freeze again. He started walking away.

“I’ll wait, you need to figure this out on your own. I know,” smiling he continued, “Now I need you to comprehend.”

Mouth falling open as she tried to force herself to say something, she cursed herself over and over again for having built up that humongous wall around her. Being vulnerable was like admitting that you were weak, and she knew those two weren’t the same thing at all, but she’d associated them with one another her whole life. She needed to stop.

“I’ll wait for you.”

And just like that, Harry left her this time. She was tempted to run after him again, but to what purpose? To have him tell her yet again that he needed her to tell him she loved him when she couldn’t bring herself to? To hurt him again? No, she was going to deal with her struggles to admit vulnerability herself. He deserved to hear her say everything he’d just told her and much more. And hopefully Harry would still love her the way he did now by that time. How terrified she already was that he didn’t.

But if that was the case, at least she’d have taught herself the importance of vulnerability.

Thursday, 10 September 2020

“Smile, baby.” Elaine brought her phone up, snapping a picture of Y/N with her diploma in hand, standing in front of her University.

It was a nice day; the sun was shining through a thin layer of clouds and the temperature was high, but not so high that Y/N was struggling to breathe. All her course mates were milling around behind, beside, and around her, saying their last goodbyes before everyone was to part ways after this. It had been bittersweet saying goodbye to her mates. She knew she was going to see them again and knew she would be happier now that she didn’t have to care about uni, but it would be sad not seeing them and not knowing when she would meet them next. Though she hadn’t really been close with any of them, she still counted them as her friends and would miss their time together.

Portia stood beside Elaine and gave Y/N a little applause, grinning from ear to ear as her sister walked over to them again. “Look at you, all smart.”

“Yes,” Y/N said, doing a little dance with her diploma. “I’d like to think I am.”

“Look,” Elaine begged Y/N over so she could look at the pictures she’d taken of her. “You look lovely, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, the lighting’s amazing.”

“So peng.” Portia said, zooming in on Y/N’s face.

Y/N playfully hit Portia in the head with her diploma, making the two sisters chuckle before they turned back to their mother. Elaine smiled at Y/N, there was a look in her eyes Y/N wasn’t accustomed to seeing on her mother’s face when looking at her. It was something she often directed at Portia, but Y/N rarely got this. Pride. It almost made Y/N’s eyes sting with oncoming tears.

“Come on, girls,” Elaine said, taking each of her daughters’ hands. “We need to celebrate. What’s a good pub around yours, Y/N?”

“Hmm,” Y/N thought for a few seconds. “There’s a Gregg’s two minutes away.”

“Sausage rolls!” Portia exclaimed.

“We’re not celebrating you getting a degree at bloody Gregg’s, are you dim?” Elaine huffed, unlocking the car once they reached it. “We need to get a pint each, and a fancy dinner later.”

“Reckon we could afford a fancy dinner in London, Mum?” Y/N sat down in the car, putting her seatbelt on as Elaine started the car. “I’m skint.”

“Well, you’re not the one paying for the dinner, are you?” Elaine raised her eyebrows at her, driving away towards Y/N’s flat in Hackney. Portia reached into the backseat where Y/N sat, squeezing her knee before she sat back and focused on the city they were driving in. Y/N leaned forward and squeezed Portia’s shoulder.

“Thank you for coming, P. Know you have a lot going on at the moment, but it meant a lot to me that you bothered to come.”

Porta looked over her shoulder at Y/N, studying her sister for a second before she smiled. “Might be busy, but it’s your graduation. It’s important to me.”

Y/N felt her cheeks heat up a bit, something they always did when she managed to discuss her feelings. “Thank you anyway.”

“You’re very welcome.” Portia’s smile widened, and she grabbed Y/N’s hand, kissing it before turning to look ahead again.

Y/N smiled herself, sitting back in her seat and looking out the window.

She’d never really gotten attached to London. Maybe it was because she didn’t really have anyone she was close to, or the constant fast-paced lifestyle you had to lead to live there. Y/N had always preferred a slow life, like the one she had grown up knowing in Maldon. Essex was calm, it was what she’d known her whole life and what she wanted to know forever. Regardless of where she wanted to live and where she felt she belonged; she’d gotten a job at North London Veterinary Clinic so she didn’t really have much of a choice in where she could settle down for a little while. North London wasn’t as busy as Central, so she wouldn’t be as overwhelmed as she usually was. She’d have to move and though the thought stressed her out, she was ready for a little change. It would be good for her.

“Do you remember that guy I was chatting to for a little while?” Portia suddenly asked, snapping Y/N out of her reverie.

“Drake?”

“No.”

“That Felix lad?”

“Not him.”

“Ezra?”

Portia shook her head.

“Jackson-“

“-Oh, for fuck’s sake, Y/N,” Portia turned around in her seat. “Do you have to rub it in?”

“That you date a lot of men? I don’t have to do that; you know it perfectly well yourself.”

Portia rolled her eyes. “Azeem.”

“Ahh! Azeem!” Y/N nodded her head, giving her little sister a smile. “Remember you talked about him, yes. Ages ago, though.”

Portia seemed to think back to the time she was talking to Azeem, getting lost in her own thoughts for a few short seconds before she blurted out, “Anyway, I met him on a night out like two days ago.”

“You did? What’d he say?”

“Just that it was nice to see me again.” Portia said. “Told me I looked good. And then he walked me home.”

In an attempt to come to terms with how she was feeling and letting other people know, it had been one of the first things Y/N had done. She sat Portia down when she came back to London, told her she loved the fact her sister came down and that they got to spend time together because it brought them closer – and she wanted to be close to her sister since they’d struggled being just that growing up -, but Portia needed her own place. If she was going to spend that much time in the capital, she might as well move there permanently. Elaine had struggled to come to terms with the fact that her youngest daughter would be moving out, especially considering how much time and resources she’d put into Portia and her career. But both the sisters had convinced their mother that this was what Portia needed to do. She needed to become independent. And besides, Portia wouldn’t be alone in London, Y/N lived there as well.

“And…?” Y/N urged, raising her eyebrows to show she was eager to know what happened next.

“He asked me out on a date.”

“He did?!” Y/N grinned. “Why did you stop seeing each other in the first place?”

Portia sighed. “It was hard to not see him very often, we lived far away from one another, and all that. But now that I live in London, maybe it’ll work out.”

“Is he a decent bloke, Y/N?” Elaine looked in the driving mirror back at Y/N. “I won’t take Portia’s word for it. You know she’s blinded by a good shag when she’s got one.”

“Mum!” Portia exclaimed. “Don’t say that! You’re not allowed to say that!”

“Say what? What you always tell me? You talk about lads and your sex life constantly.”

“I do not! Oh, my God!”

Y/N laughed, zoning out as her little sister and mother started arguing in the front. They soon reached Hackney and Y/N’s flat building. It felt weird knowing that Thursday next week, she’d be moving out of this flat and into a new one. Though Hackney wasn’t the nicest place to be living in London – or the nicest place to just be walking through – it had been Y/N’s home for five years now. Sure, she spent loads of time in Maldon and Essex, but this was her place in London. But soon, Hampstead would probably be it. It wasn’t that the commute would be horrible from Hackney and up to North London, but she would rather have a stroll to work in the morning instead of using public transit. It was bloody unbearable on the tube in the mornings sometimes.

They exited the car and Y/N rummaged through her purse for her keys, giving them to Portia when she reached her hand out for them.

“Thanks, babes.” Y/N said, getting her diploma out of the car seat before closing the door and letting their mother lock the car.

Portia glanced at Y/N for a little while, a grin spreading out over her lips.

“What?” Y/N asked, gesturing for her sister to unlock the door so they could walk on in.

“Dunno,” Portia shrugged, putting the key in the hole and turning it. “You never call me ‘babe’ or anything like that, but you’ve started recently.”

“Been watching too much Love Island.”

Portia laughed, holding the door open for her mother and sister. The lot of them walked up the stairs to the second story, about to let Y/N change out of her heels so they could go have a pint and then go out to dinner. Though she wouldn’t look as smashing as she did with her heels on, they would ultimately kill her feet and she was not about that life today. She’d just gotten a degree, she was going to feel good all day. So fuck heels.

They reached Y/N’s door and she let Portia unlock that one as well. Her flat was as simplistic as always; one single room with a small kitchen, a bed, a desk, and a door to a small bathroom. Elaine walked over to the desk, sitting down in Y/N’s office chair while Portia bent down and picked up something behind the door.

“Mail.” She said, giving Y/N a few envelopes.

“Thanks.” Y/N took it, looking through the envelopes to see nothing interesting. A couple of bills, some rubbish, and…

“Where are we going after this then?” Elaine asked, looking from Y/N to Portia. But Y/N didn’t hear what Portia was answered because she was too busy reading the small slip of paper that told her she’d gotten a parcel. Everything that was too big to slip through the mail slot was out into a cupboard on the outside of Y/N’s flat. Beside her front door was another, smaller door where her electricity metre was. If she wasn’t in to receive the parcel herself, she’d written on her mail slot to just pop it in there.

She put all her mail down on the kitchen counter before walking outside to check the cupboard. Upon opening it, she saw a single brown parcel, though it looked more like a gift than anything. She reached for it, bringing it out into proper lighting. She read her own address on the front, and when turning it around, she found it a little hard to breathe. Had he…

Y/N walked back into the flat, closing the door behind her and placing the package on the kitchen counter so she could unpack it. She knew Elaine and Portia were talking behind her about something, probably where they were going to go have their pint, but Y/N could not focus on anything but what was right in front of her. Ripping the paper off, a sea of colour was revealed to her and she recognised what she was looking at right away.

“A sunny morning in Essex.” Y/N smiled, looking at him. “The most beautiful sight in the world, if I may say so.”

“Oh, is it?” he asked, putting the brush away and placing his hand on her thigh, turning to face her.

“Uh-huh.” Her smile widened some as he moved closer to her, brushing his nose gently against hers.

“I can think of more beautiful sights than a sunrise in bleeding Essex.”

She ran her hand over it, feeling the strokes of paint she’d put there with Harry’s help. It wasn’t nearly as beautiful as the paintings in his collection, but it was the most breath-taking creation she’d ever laid her eyes upon. It was something she’d made with Harry. It was art. Picking it up, something fell to the kitchen counter. An envelope.

“What’s that?” Portia asked, but Y/N couldn’t answer.

She put the canvas back down on the counter and reached for the envelope, tearing it open. It was his handwriting and she suddenly longed for him again. Months had gone by, but she thought about him every day. He was always with her, always motivated her; made her want to be better. And seeing something the two of them made a year ago, reliving the memory of them sitting close and creating something beautiful in the warm Italian summer night, it made her yearn in a way she never had before.

‘Complimenti per la laurea, celeste.’

Looking down on the canvas again, she suddenly recognised it. The landscape resembled the one in Tuscany, the one she had walked through and lived in all last summer. And in the corner was a white house, almost like a mansion of sorts, but not as big as some of the houses she’d passed on the countryside. She didn’t remember painting that. In fact, she barely remembered painting anything but the colour of the sunrise. Orange, yellow, blue. Harry must’ve completed the painting after she left.

“Y/N,” Portia said, now standing by her sisters’ shoulder. “Is that one of his paintings?”

Y/N just looked at he canvas, unable to say anything.

“Is that one of his fucking paintings?” Portia gasped, looking at Elaine and back at Y/N. “Imagine how much that is worth!”

“I’m not gonna sell his painting, Tia.”

“No, but-“ Portia gestured at the artwork, squealing. “What’d the card say?”

“Think he’s congratulating me on graduating.” Y/N put the card down, looking at the painting again. The room fell silent as nosy Elaine probably didn’t know which of her questions to ask first, Portia looked dumbfounded at the canvas, and Y/N yet again lost herself in daydreams of Harry. He knew she was graduating today. Sent her their painting. He congratulated her on finally getting her degree. He was still thinking about her like she was thinking about him. One of Y/N’s fears with taking so long to figure herself out, he’d somehow move on. But she believed in him enough, knew how she felt well enough, to know that they’d see each other again.

“You have to leave.” Portia said. “Y/N, it’s been six months.”

“I know.”

“You have to go to bloody Italy right this second.” Portia looked around Y/N’s flat. “Where’s your bag?”

“What about my life here? I’m starting a new job next week, I’m moving.”

“Figure that stuff out next week.” Portia smiled. “You’ve grown so much in the last few months, Y/N. You’re softer now, not so prone to fighting people for not having the same opinion as you, but you listen and you’re willing to change. Not for the world, but for yourself. Harry didn’t tell you to embrace tenderness just so you could admit how you were feeling about him, but also so you’d be nicer to yourself.”

“But I already am.”

“I know, but he wanted you to allow more love into your life. By seizing love and allowing yourself to feel, not only self-love, but the love of others, you allow yourself to live fully and completely.” Portia squeezed Y/N’s shoulder. “Without regret, without apology.”

Y/N smiled a little at her sister, studying her face. “Portia Cressida, when the fuck did you become so wise?”

“Can’t let people know I know shit or else I’ll ruin my dumb image.”

The girls laughed, and Portia rested her head on Y/N’s shoulder, glancing at the painting Harry had gifted her sister.

“Go, Y/N.”

Saturday, 12 September 2020

She remembered Italy to be hot, but something about Italy in autumn was almost unbearable. Everything was still a lush green, nothing had changed outdoors since last year it seemed, everything still looked the same. But Y/N wondered how that was possible when she wasn’t even in the southern part of Tuscany anymore, she was in Veneto, a county further up north. North-west Italy looked as summery in autumn as Y/N would’ve expected it to, and she loved it. Though she didn’t like the sun much, she’d come to appreciate it more than the rain of England. Besides, she could stand the heat if it meant meeting Harry again.

She’d called Jamie yesterday, asked them where she’d be able to meet Harry. She knew she could’ve just asked Harry, but she also wanted to see the surprise on his face when he saw her on his doorstep. So, she hadn’t told him she was coming. Which could either end with them living happily ever after or him saying he didn’t feel the same anymore. Thinking about the latter gave her a panic attack.

She hadn’t brought much with her, just a small bag as a carry-on and the clothes she was wearing. A see-through red, yellow, white, and pink tie dye crop top, showing off her cute black bralette underneath, a washed-out pair of high-waisted boyfriend denim jeans, and a black pair of Dr Marten’s. Though it had gotten a bit chilly on the plane, she knew Italy would be hot, and she had been very right about that. Besides, she needed to look extra cute now that she was seeing Harry again for the first time in six months.

The bus ride wasn’t as bumpy as the one she’d taken to Fosdinovo, the bus was new, and she trusted the driver to know if something was wrong. She hadn’t trusted Gioele to know the same, which she applauded herself for in retrospect. The bus was fairly new and the road to Padua, Veneto was nice. She’d done some research and figured out the reason why Harry might’ve moved up north and close to Padua. It was a city known for art; spectacularly pretty and often overlooked by Venice, a mere hour-drive away. Knowing Harry, he’d probably walk through the quieter streets of Venice to get inspiration or sit on a corner café in Padua to people-watch. She knew he wanted to get out of Fosdinovo, but he hadn’t been able to remove himself entirely from the Italian culture he had immersed himself in. His love for that country was too great for him to ever truly leave.

Reaching Padua, Y/N got off and got a taxi right away. She told the driver where she was going, and though it was a bit out of town and onto the countryside – not to Y/N’s surprise, Harry liked quiet after all – he agreed to get her there. It took them about 30 minutes to reach the house, and when they did, it was a simple gravel path. She obviously had to walk for a bit to get there, but she was glad she got to take in Harry’s new residence in the calmness that was the outskirts of Padua. She could make out the white house at the end of the road, the newly sown trees that lined the path, and knew when they had grown to their full height, they would envelope the drive like a tunnel of green leaves and nature. Y/N smiled a little to herself as she imagined it, knowing that Harry most likely had the exact same thought in mind.

It was nice seeing how he decided to live now, especially after everything that happened in Fosdinovo. Secluded, but a couple of neighbours a few minutes’ walk up or down the cemented road she’d just been on. It was undoubtedly his new paradise. And by the looks of it, the closer she got, it seemed he was still working on the house. White and grand, with huge French windows and sheer curtains on either side of them all, there was still some construction work going on on the outside, though the workers weren’t working today it seemed. It was only 12pm, but maybe Harry wanted them to take the day off to relax. She’d ask him, she told herself, because she was now in the driveway, viewing the red front door, looking in through the windows to see if she saw him. Her heart was hammering so fast in her chest that she noticed her tie dye top vibrating with each beat.

Reaching forwards, she pressed the doorbell, taking a step back so the door wouldn’t hit her in the face when he opened it. Nearly as quickly as it had gone off, she heard something very familiar inside the house. Spending time around animals nearly all the time, Y/N’s puppy radar went off when she heard the tiny barks of a baby dog inside. Immediately, her mouth fell open, and she walked to the closest window to look inside.

Down a white tiled corridor, the light from the massive windows on the other side of the house shining down on him, a puppy came running down on his big paws, his tail wagging so wildly his little bum moved with it.

“Hi.” Y/N cooed when he reached the window, standing on his back-paws to get a better look of her and bark some more. “Who’re you then? What’s your name?”

He sniffed the glass as if trying to get a sniff of her, but he whimpered when he couldn’t. And as Y/N got a good look of the little guy, she realised something very quickly that made her almost fall backward onto the gravel of the driveway. A Scottish deerhound.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Y/N said under her breath, walking back to the front door and ringing the doorbell again. Why was it that Harry had trouble answering the bloody door every time? She stood her ground this time, the puppy still barking at her and watching her in anticipation, ready to jump onto her the second Harry opened the door. But he didn’t. So this time she knocked on his door with her fist, not about to wait around for hours. She knew he was in. A puppy couldn’t be left alone in a big house like this, he’d either have to put him in a cage or take the pup with him.

With no response, Y/N decided to explore the outside of his house. Giving the pup a little wave, she stepped down from the front step, taking in the marble pillars on either side that held a small roof above the front door. The house was incredibly elegant and new. Had he built it himself? She walked around the side, admiring the huge garden and the tall stone fence that secluded it from everything else. There were a couple of trees that stood around a tiny pond, and it seemed he’d taken the time to put a grey stone bench beside it. The rest of the garden was newly trimmed and grand, though pretty empty still. There seemed to be the start of a pretty big doghouse beside another tree, and something else that might be the start of a veranda. Maybe he’d just about moved in. It would explain why everything looked so new, anyway.

It felt like Harry, though. All of it. Elegant yet simple, big but not too much. He was a simplistic person who loved grand things. The thought of him moving into a new house, probably a little anxious to meet new people and to get acquainted with his new life in a new town, it made her smile. He was restless and would move in a few years, but for now, this was exactly what he needed, she knew.

Faint, but Y/N still heard it with every single part of her being, a meow sounded from behind her. Turning around, there stood a striped cat looking over at her. She hesitantly moved forward and Y/N felt like breaking down crying.

“Viola,” Y/N hunched down. “Hi, baby.”

The cat made her way over quite hastily when she recognised who the person was, rubbing herself against Y/N’s outstretched hands. She’d grown, yet Y/N would know this little creature anywhere. She’d often wondered what happened to Viola, because when she left, she assumed Harry would take care of her till he left. But here she was. Had he brought her with him everywhere? She reached down, pressing a soft kiss to Viola’s forehead like she always did, and the cat meowed in response. Y/N giggled, the feel and sound of Viola brought her right back to her time in Fosdinovo. The cat had been there for her every single day, putting a smile on her face. They gave each other a home for a month.

Thinking she might explore more of the grounds, she stood upright, and Viola immediately perked up, ready to follow Y/N wherever she decided to go. Her eyes suddenly landed on a glass house attached to the mansion, and then on the figure standing by the open door leading into it. The inside of the winter garden was fully furnished, unlike the rest of the property that lacked the same attention. She couldn’t believe this. Not only was this Harry’s dream home, it was hers as well.

Their eyes met, and a jolt so intense rocked through Y/N’s body that it shook up everything. She fell in love with him all over again, seeing him there, looking right back at her with a look of startlement and longing and relief. She couldn’t wait any longer, she had to be close to him. Taking the first few steps, she felt the inside of her tummy vibrate as the butterflies inside her came to life again. The closer she got to him, the more every single part of her body tickled, itching to hold him again. And when it seemed to have dawned on Harry that this wasn’t a dream, he started walking toward her as well. The closer they got the more they picked up the pace. It had been too long, they had taken too much time, they had worked on each other for one another and for themselves.

Y/N threw herself into his chest and Harry wrapped his arms around her so tightly she was sure she’d fade into him. Though it had taken them so much to get to this moment, it had taken them a while for a reason. People needed to work on one another and for each other to make a relationship work, it didn’t just magically happen. And sometimes people need to be apart for a little while to gain perspective and mature enough to return. Harry needed someone who could be as open as him, and Y/N needed someone who wasn’t afraid to be himself to the fullest, without apology.

They broke apart, eager to look at one another again. Harry’s eyes moved over her frantically, taking her in again. He was wearing another silk shirt, tucked into high-waisted washed out denim jeans, and barefoot. Something about his bare feet was adorable. And the fact they were basically wearing the same jeans made her stifle a laughter.

“Hi,” she said, unsure how else to greet him.

He chuckled. “What the fuck, Y/N.”

“What?”

“You’re here.” He said, smiling at her. “I… I had no idea. But you’re here.”

“I’m here.”

He took her hand, squeezing it, looking her up and down. “Here.”

She smiled as well, feeling her hand heat up here his skin met hers. When he looked up at her again, eyes glistening, face lit up more than she’d ever seen before, dimples as deep as ever, she felt like tearing up. This was the man of her dreams; the man she wanted to spend every day with till death. And even after that she’d find him in their next life, or she’d find him in her afterlife, or wherever else they’d end up. There was no one else. Would never be anyone else.

“This is a big place.” She said, gesturing at the house and the rest of the estate.

“Yeah,” Harry nodded, still looking at their joined hands. “Started building it back in March.”

“Big place for a big lad.”

Harry laughed, looking up at her again. “Need enough space for Viola and Gopher to wander.”

Y/N’s heart did a dreamy sigh. “Gopher?”

“Oh!” Harry pointed behind him at the house. “He was the one barking.”

“The puppy?”

“Yeah.”

She bit her lips together, looking down at their hands. “You adopted a puppy.”

Silence for a few moments before Harry said, in such a soft voice she swore it felt like a caress, “He’s been waiting for you.”

She glanced up again, happiness so overwhelming filled her to the point that she felt like flying. Eyes landed on the house and then back on Harry as he ran his thumb over her hand.

“Don’t you remember that day in the car last summer, when you first met Jamie?”

She didn’t at first, but it hit her like a truck and she almost gasped out loud. Harry only smiled a little at her, having remembered her words this whole time.

“A Scottish deerhound.”

“They’re quite big, aren’t they? Can’t remember how they look, but I think I know.” The phone was in Jamie’s hand, typing the name of the breed into the Google search bar.

“I’ve always wanted one. Always wanted to move to the outskirts of Maldon with two deerhounds. That’s where I want to settle down, I think.” She said. “With a winter garden and a big property so the dogs can run freely.”

She shook her head, not wanting to believe Harry had done this.

“Harry…”

“It’s not Maldon, or Essex, or England for that matter,” he said, stepping aside so she could look at the house. “But I tried to make it like you said, with some pieces of me in it, if that’s okay.”

The resemblance it held to the last painting of Harry’s exhibit was incredible, the same painting that had been stolen by Gioele. The painting Harry had an emotional attachment to of sorts. It was because it was this. It was the house. It was the place he hoped she’d settle down. With him.

“Wanna take a look inside?”

She smiled at him. “Please.”

He smiled back, letting go of her hand so they could walk into the winter garden. Viola followed them, strolling in through the door before Harry closed it. He took her into his arms and walked over to the door that led into the house, opening it and letting Viola walk away before closing the door again. They were left in silence, a few of the windows were open to let some air in or else the room would undoubtedly get incredibly hot with the sun shining right in. The roof was shaped like a spire, the whole glasshouse a half-circle, and green plants lined the window wall. Vines hung gracefully along some of the stiles, and in the middle of it all stood a big blue velvet ottoman. The whole place had a gothic feel to it and Y/N absolutely adored it. When she’d pictured a winter garden, she’d just wanted a place she could relax outdoors during wintertime, but this was something else entirely. It had a Harry feel to it, but it also felt like her.

“What do you think?” Harry asked, leaning his back against the windows.

“It’s amazing.” She mused, looking around. “Harry… I’m speechless.”

“Tried to make it into something that I knew you’d like. That’s why I painted it first and had an architect sketch the outline of the house after.” Harry explained. “Hope it falls into liking.”

She looked over at him, for the first time in ages, seeing the hint of doubt in his eyes again. Simply not able to help herself, she walked over to him, hesitating a bit before placing a hand to his cheek. He leaned into her, closing his eyes for a second and letting a sigh of relaxation leave his lips.

“I love it, I haven’t even seen the inside of the house, but I love it.” She told him, studying his dark eyelashes against his cheekbones. “And I love you.”

Harry’s eyes shot open, looking straight into hers. The absolute joy in them made the colour of his irises more radiant, and it was almost as if the sun shone a little brighter. As if the world fell into place; like how it was supposed to be all along.

“I love you.” She repeated, softer this time around.

“Yeah?” Harry’s voice sounded like a whisper; a plea for her to really, really, really feel it – what was between them – like he did.

“I’m in love with you, Harry.”

He grabbed the back of her neck, swallowing hard. “I love you, too.”

She couldn’t help it when the sides of her mouth tipped upward. “I know.”

Harry smiled. “Smug bastard.”

She laughed, leaning her forehead against his, feeling his fingers stroke her scalp tenderly. God, it felt good to have him touch her again. It felt good to be close to him. It felt good to not be ashamed of saying ‘I love you’. It felt amazing to let someone else know how deeply you cared for them and see them light up in response because they felt the same way.

“Now fucking kiss me before I go out of my mind.” Harry said, an undertone to his voice that made a hot tingle run up Y/N’s spine.

“How about you kiss me?”

Harry frowned.

“After all, if I hadn’t kissed you in the ocean that night, would we even be here?”

“You take pride in that, don’t you? I would’ve kissed you eventually.” Harry said, and Y/N raised her eyebrows at him. “I would’ve!”

“Yeah, alright. When? The opportunity presented itself a couple of times, but you only had the nerve to kiss my hand.”

Harry gripped her hair hard in his hand, bringing her lips to hover above his. She gasped, looking down at his lips and then feeling it against her thigh. Very quickly, she felt hot all over, and the need to be closer to Harry grew so fast it made her dizzy.

“Got the nerve to fuck you good now, don’t I?” Harry said, voice so deep she felt it vibrate through her bones.

Y/N bit her lip. “What gentleman talks like that to a lady before he’s even kissed her for the first time in a year?”

“You want a gentleman?”

She ran her hands down his torso. “Depends on the situation.”

Harry kissed her jaw, leaving wet kisses down her neck. “Hmm, does it now?”

“Want a gentleman to walk the little puppy with, to make breakfast with, or to take me out for dates.”

“Do you want a gentleman between your thighs, baby?”

She closed her eyes at the feel of Harry’s lips on her, bit her bottom lip as he pressed her body closer to his. “Depends on how well that gentleman knows how to treat a lady.”

Harry chuckled, the feeling of his laughter against her skin was like heaven. “I’ll be a gentleman, the devil, an angel; I’ll be whatever you want me to be.”

She huffed. “Thought we were doing dirty talk, and here you go turning it romantic.”

“I need you to shut up,” Harry said as his lips hovered above hers. “Because I’m about to kiss you and then fuck you on that sofa.”

She grinned, tilting her head to fit perfectly against his. “Kiss me.”

And he did. Hard and passionately. They wasted no time, slipping their tongue into one another’s mouths, clinging to one another, touching all over. They tasted the other, felt them right there. There were some birds singing outside, rustling of some leaves, but the two of them didn’t care. Harry pushed her backward till her legs hit the couch, but she stopped herself from falling back into it. Instead, she turned them around, pushing Harry back onto the ottoman.

“Let me show you how much I love you.” She said, and Harry let out a shaky breath at her words.

He quickly undid the buttons of his silk shirt, threw it somewhere behind him before he leaned on his elbows. “Nothing you’ve ever said has turned me on more.”

She giggled, taking her jeans and knickers off and straddling his lap. He sat up, attaching his lips to hers once again, grabbing onto her bum, begging her to grind against him. They both wanted some friction, and she knew that if he pressed her harder onto him, there would be wet marks from her left on his jeans. But in the moment, neither cared. They just wanted to be as close as humans could be, wanted to feel ecstasy. She buried her hands in his hair, dragging out the tongue filled, wet, lustful kisses. It was excruciating, and the heat between her thighs got more and more intense the more time went on. A wave of excitement and adoration ran through her as she felt Harry’s hand run up her back, reaching for her bra. He wanted to see all of her.

She let him, throwing her shirt off and letting her bra fall to the floor. Harry kissed her the second she was done undressing, moaning her name against her lips. She felt her centre ache, reaching for the zip of Harry’s jeans as quickly as possible. She couldn’t bare it any longer, she needed to be skin to skin; soul to soul. Y/N found that the people she had sex with, she formed an emotional attachment to them in a way that was unexplainable. There might not even be real feelings there, but you’d shared an intimate moment with someone, and it was a moment neither of you would ever forget. But with Harry, it was more than that. It wasn’t just a single moment she shared with him when they were like this; it felt like sharing an entire lifetime. It felt like happiness; it felt like the rest of her life. And she knew she was right to have spent time away from him, because she would tell him this over and over and over again, and she wouldn’t be ashamed or feel weak for admitting how much she loved him.

They got Harry’s jeans and boxers off, and as she took a grip of his cock, Harry stiffened. Their eyes met.

“A condom.” He said, reminding her what they were about to do.

She shook her head. “It’s fine.”

Harry gripped her thigh, squeezing her.

“You pay for the pill.”

He smiled, kissing her for a long time. “Fuck me, please.”

Slowly, she sat down on him, gasping at the familiar feeling of him inside her like this. Harry didn’t take his eyes off her the entire time, mouth opening wider for each centimetre he moved inside her. Positioning her feet on the floor, she started moving her hips over him. He instantly moaned, not able to help himself because it felt so good. He moved his hands up her thighs, her sides, her back, wanting to feel every single little part of her. Wanted her to know how much he appreciated every little thing about her. There wasn’t a single part of her body, of her soul, of her existence he didn’t love. She felt all his emotions in his touches, in the kisses he left along her collarbone, in the soft way he moaned her name.

She tried to push him down onto the ottoman, wanting to have him watch her as she rode him, but Harry stopped her. He shook his head, curls tickling her jawline and cheek.

“No,” he simply said, wrapping his arms around you. “I’m staying right here.”

And though he hadn’t meant it that way, Y/N still took it as him telling her he’d stay with her like this forever. After all, she’d been the one to leave him in the first place, but they were here now. Never was she going to leave him. He was the best thing that had ever happened to her, the truest thing in her life, and her best influence. Had she ever been happy before she’d met him? Had she known true happiness till now? Because right now, feeling Harry’s bare skin against hers and hearing him repeat her name, she wasn’t so sure the happiness she’d felt before him could be counted as just that, happiness.

Harry squeezed her hips. “Like that,” he moaned, burying his face in the cook of her neck.

Nothing mattered besides the magic they were creating between them; nothing mattered but Harry and eternity. The soft skin of the inside of Y/N’s thighs against Harry’s hips and sides, pressed to him, sweaty. His tattooed body against her bare one. Heavy breathing, the occasional moan.

The burn in her core was really starting to build up now, and she knew it would burst any second. Harry moved his face so it was right in front of hers, studying her moving form above him. Her sliding hips, her desperate hands, her exclamations of pleasure. The butterflies in her stomach went crazy, all of them flying wildly in a single circle to intensify the oncoming orgasm. Harry’s hips moved more with hers, staring at her as she closed her eyes, digging her nails into his shoulders.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” Harry said, hands trembling against her back.

She didn’t know why that almost brought her to tears, but it did, and she bit her bottom lip to stop herself from crying. No one had ever made her feel as stunning as Harry. Though she was confident in her body and on her own, being with Harry made her feel on top of the world. His love, his encouragement, his compliments, it all made her feel so incredibly good about herself in a way nothing ever had before. She had no idea how she could ever thank him for that.

Their hips moved rhythmically, hard against one another, desperate for release. Everything felt electric, everything felt hot. Y/N wanted to melt into him and have the two of them sitting like this forever. Wanted to feel him close, feel his love, feel his skin. Having him inside her like this, feeling him grip her hard, whimpering against her lips, moan her name; she felt powerful, beautiful, strong, and so so so good.

“Harry,” she moaned, looking into his eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you too, baby.” He said, bringing her closer. He reached between them, knowing that in order to come properly, she needed him to flick her bud. “Let me watch you come.”

“Oh, God.” She gripped his shoulders harder, moaning loudly as he rubbed her clit like he knew she loved so much.

“Yeah?” He watched her, flicking her faster. “Come for me, baby.”

She came hard. Harry watched her intently, clearly holding back his own release till he knew she was completely done with hers. She grinded on top of him, looking deeply into her eyes as hot flames lashed threw her body, rocking up her entire reality. She gasped for breath and moaned and repeated Harry’s name over and over and over again until it let like it was the only word she knew. Her legs were shaking, and it was hard for her to move properly so he could come to.

“Say it.” Harry said, his neck vein about to show and his face reddening with the oncoming climax. “Tell me.”

She knew exactly what he needed to hear. “I love you.” She whispered against his lips, pressing a tender kiss to the side of his lips as she continued to rock over him. “Everyday, for the rest of my existence, I’ll love you.”

“Fuck.” Harry moaned, not able to look away from her. “Y/N. My love.”

She held his face in her hands. “Never leave me. I love you too much.”

“Never.” Harry said, a moan escaping his lips. “Shit.”

He came, not looking away from her. A furrow appearing between his brows, lips parted, and Y/N had never seen anything so hot and beautiful. He stilled, neck vein showing, and he moaned and moaned and moaned. She watched him till he came down, feeling his cum inside her, feeling his breathing against her, his arms around her.

“You need to go meet Gopher now.” Harry said after a little while.

“My puppy.”

Harry laughed. “We’re gonna have a house filled with fucking animals, aren’t we?”

“And what about it?” Y/N smiled. “Don’t you want to see me happy?”

Harry’s eyes softened, smiling slightly up at her as he took her hand, bringing it up to his lips. He kissed her hand, then her palm, then the pulse of her wrist. “For the rest of my life, celeste.” His smile widened as he felt her beating hearts against his lips. “My baby blue.”

the BIGGEST thank you to all my beta readers! you lot have saved me and helped me more times than i can count! love you!

@aileenacoustic @sunflowervolumeeleven @emotionally-imbruised @fromyourstrulyh @harryisadogperson @harrysthighles @mellowstyles94 @toolazymyguy @clorenafila @dearest-rebecca @tpwkceline @tasteslikestrawberriesharry​

and thank you to you! thank you for reading baby blue! thank you for the love sent both mine and bb’s way! thank you for letting me tell you yet another story, the fact that you sit down each sunday (or whichever day tbh) to read bb and immerse yourself in the bb-verse means so much to me!

as for what i’m gonna do next cos i’ve gotten quite a few questions about that! i won’t be posting writing on tumblr or wattpad till may, but in the meantime i’ll be over at patreon posting! there’ll be a poll there where some of my patrons can vote for what they want me to write next and i’ll post something every week!

my next fic will be announced sometime in april (tho i’ve talked about what it’s gonna be multiple times lmao), and the first few chapters will be available to read on my patreon before it starts posting on my other platforms!

ANYWAY, i love you all so much! thank you again! bb!harry and bb!mc appreciate you very much, as do i :’’)

thank you so much. till next time, stay hydrated.

your bestie, nora x

[hatsukeii]

I have another songfic idea and despite the requests in my box I will do this first lmao if I don’t Imma forget tomorrow-

This blog is bnha starved, so let’s go with that:3

Idfc//Soulmate AU! Bakugou x Reader

Word count: 2700+

Warnings: Swearing

Summary: In a world where the name of your soulmate’s quirk is tattooed on your arm when you turn 17, Bakugou got unlucky in the soulmate department.

Despite all his prayers and wishes for the words “Game Over” to appear on his arm, life just didn’t want to go his way.

What’s even worse, is those words ended up on shitty half n’ half’s arm. 

What a way to screw with Bakugou.

He watches as you step out of the school gates, Todoroki’s arm wrapped around your waist. Giving you a tiny wave, he rocks forward and backward, hoping for you to notice him. You glance towards his direction, pursing your lips, before ignoring him and making your way home with your boyfriend. The ash blond’s fake grin falters, shoving his hands down his pockets, head hanging low as he turns around and goes his own way.

He still remembers the moment he realised you weren’t his soulmate. The way his heart dropped when the words on his arm said “Zero Gravity”. His parents were ecstatic, cheering as they celebrated over how their baby boy was growing up, and how he would soon meet the love of his life. What they didn’t know, was that he had already found the one he loved, and it sure as hell wasn’t Uraraka, whose quirk was on his arm. Just that one revelation was enough to make his entire weekend shitty. He definitely did NOT want to be with Uraraka. She was way too bubbly and annoying. Plus, her quirk had a lame name. And she’s way too clingy for his liking. He tried his best to stay optimistic about the situation. Maybe he’ll eventually be able to change his fate if he defied it. Maybe if he was able to make you love him back, the names would change. He racked his brains, searched for answers on every website he could think of, asked on every forum he could find, but still, nothing. He was stuck with Uraraka, and there was nothing he could do but sulk and accept it. That night, he cried himself to sleep, knowing he was never going to get a chance with you. The only person he wanted was snatched away from him and just the thought of being able to win her over was ripped to shreds.

The following Monday back to school was no better. In fact, it was worse. He watched as you excitedly told him about your soulmate, the words “Half Hot Half Cold” imprinted on your skin as you explained how you got it the day before. You were beyond excited, knowing fully well who your soulmate was. The pretty boy of 1-A that all the girls were head over heels for. Thank god you couldn’t tell that the tiny grin plastered on his face and the playful cheering was fake. Those were all just poor attempts to mask all the despair and heartbreak he stored up in his chest. All Bakugou could possibly do was be happy for you. That’s what he should’ve done. However, no matter how hard he tried, it just never worked out. You were always there in the back of his head, lingering around in his mind like an annoying pest that he couldn’t get rid of. Thinking of you became a daily routine. He would stare at you longingly in class, text you every day after school, cry about you every night, and wake up puffy eyed. Waves of depression hit him every single time the sight of you having fun with Todoroki appeared in front of his eyes. He swore that if he heard another person talk about how cute you and Todoroki were together he would punch their face in. People backed away from him whenever he was close to the dual haired boy, not wanting to get on his nerves.

In class, Aizawa started noticing his lack of focus in class. For months, Bakugou had been in a constant state of daydream, staring at you in class as he thought of all the things you two could do if only you were his soulmate. He would spoil you so badly. Take you out on as many dates as he possibly could. Kiss your tears away when you were crying. Pillow fights every weekend. Cuddle you while the two of you watched movies on your bed. Eventually present you with a diamond ring in a tiny velvet box. All those possibilities, flushed right down the drain as he was constantly snapped back to reality by his homeroom teacher every single time, remembering that he was only a best friend to you, nothing more. He wasn’t doing as well in class, and his parents were worried. Since when did their straight A son start flunking English? Mitsuki was anxiety ridden, fearing for her son’s mental state, as she should. Bakugou would rather die than admit he was weak, but at times like these, a motherly hug would be nice. Mitsuki would let her son cry on her lap, instead of sulk on his bed all alone. He may not have told her anything about what was making him seemingly depressed, but all he wanted was some form of emotional support, even if it was from his old hag. Masaru would join in sometimes, giving Bakugou a few pats on the head or ruffling his hair. They didn’t know what had changed his son so drastically, however despite their worries for his academics, they knew that he was not okay, and that it was their job to help him, even if they were in the dark about the situation.

“Bakugou, you’re going home alone again? I thought Kirishima was gonna walk you back!” Mina jogs towards Bakugou, placing and hand on his shoulder and launching herself into the air with a jump. Usually, Bakugou would flick her hand off at the last moment, but instead of doing that, he remains stoic, completely ignoring everything around him. “Haaaah? Hello? Earth to Bakugou?” He rolls his eyes, trying not to blast the pinkette’s fingers off as she pokes his cheek, trying to get a reaction out of him as Kaminari and Sero approached the two.

The Bakusquad were quick to catch up on his issue. Kirishima was the first to point out the difference in his now quiet, negative attitude compared to his usually boisterous and aggressive personality. Being the top tier best friend he was, he tried his hardest to get something out of Bakugou. Anything. He soon informed the rest of the gang about it, much to the blond’s annoyance. Since then, they’ve been trying to get Bakugou out of his heartbroken state and back into the rat he usually is. Everyone was worried for him, fearing that this would affect his mental health. They were there for Bakugou since day one, hyping him up whenever he was about to make a move. Cheering him on when he finally asked you out. Encouraging him to continue fighting for you when he was feeling down. They always thought the two of you were meant to be, but they were mistaken, because obviously fate has a cruel way of messing with people. Out of everyone, Kirishima was the most concerned. He had watched his best friend put himself down time and time again, all because of you. He was always there to give him a punch to the back, reminding him that he still had a chance. He was there to listen when Bakugou wanted to vent his issues out. He was his number one wingman, setting the two of you up in secret as an attempt to help Bakugou get with you. When he eventually found out his soulmate was Uraraka, and that yours was Todoroki, he was shocked, to say the least. However he was also frightened. Scared. He was scared that Bakugou would go back to his cold self. He was scared that the friendship he had bonded with you would break. He was scared his best bro’s heart would be shattered. Despite his efforts to cheer him up, the blond was not improving. The fiery, determined flares in his crimson irises were gone, replaced by a dull, hopeless maroon. 

“Don’t be so down in the dumps about the whole soulmate thing Bakubro! Maybe you’ll eventually move on!” Oh, what a big mistake Kaminari just made. The icy glare sent his way is scary enough to kill, piercing through his skull and shaking every single nerve in his body up. “I don’t fucking care at all. Leave me the fuck alone.” This isn’t his usually grumpy attitude, where he’s just irritated. He’s being dead serious, his tone hinting that if they didn’t get away from him right this instant, they were going to get their asses kicked badly. “Guys, maybe we should just leave him alone for now.” The three teens backed away from their moody friend, waving him off before going their separate ways.

Whenever anyone tried to make an effort to understand his frustration, the only answer they would receive was a forced out “I don’t fucking care.” That was the only thing Bakugou would tell people, including you. Oh how oblivious he was, thinking no one saw through the facade he was putting up. If he had to admit he was a weak bitch that cried over some stupid crush, he would kill everyone in the room and then himself if that’s the last thing he does. No way in hell is he letting his strong, tough, intimidating image down. Time after time, he would tell people he didn’t give a fuck about you. That you were just another extra in his life. Just another stepping stone to his inevitable victory. The time you overheard him telling Kirishima you were just another obstacle in the way of his success made your heart shatter into a million pieces. You slowly started to let him go, not wanting to let yourself get hurt anymore by his words. Everyone acted like they fell for his white lies, as if they were dumb enough to not hear the audible hint of pain in his usually shameless voice. He really did all this, just to convince himself to move on from these useless feelings that ate him up from the inside. His usually unfriendly self became extra hostile, shutting out everyone that tried to help him. He was increasingly aggressive with each passing day, letting out all the pent up anger and bitterness onto his classmates. At that point, Midoriya was so scared that he requested for a seat change from Aizawa. Almost nobody dared approach him. Some even begged for him to be excluded from sparring and training, although it was unsuccessful. It was guaranteed, without question, that whoever was going against him was going to be beaten to a pulp, bloodied and battered, burn marks everywhere on their bodies. In some instances, All Might had to step in, and even he suffered a few nasty blasts from the ash blond. Even you were getting irritated by his irrational actions, occasionally calling him out for it, much to his dismay. This was the last thing he wanted. For you to slowly break away all the bonds you two made. For you to take another person’s side, without even thinking about how he felt.

Walking out from his quick shower, he sat on his bed, grabbing his phone and going through your chat again, as if the ‘seen’ at the bottom of the wall of good morning and goodnight texts will magically disappear and replace itself with your replies. Groaning, he throws his phone onto the wall, letting it fall back onto his mattress as he shoves his face into his hands.

Since the time you heard him call you an obstacle, you started to let go of the friendship you had made with the fiery teen. He held a special place in your heart. He was your first, and best friend. You two shared everything during those late night talks you had through FaceTime. If you had to choose between Todoroki or Bakugou, you would save the latter first. The moment you realised Todoroki was your soulmate, you were ecstatic. Your fat crush on the aloof boy was a known thing around 1-A, and the fact that you were lucky enough to get him as your soulmate made all the girls jealous. However, things took a turn when Bakugou started to go back to his cold self. He stopped calling you after school. He stopped walking you home. He stopped trying to keep a conversation with you, only replying with the driest responses he could muster up. You didn’t know what was up with him, but it was annoying you. The one time you were looking to confront him, you overheard his conversation with Kirishima. “She’s just an obstacle.” “A stepping stone to my victory.” “I don’t fucking care about her.” It was as if everything you have done to befriend him was for nothing. He only thought of you as some extra. Nothing more. You were pissed, definitely. He was acting cold, ignoring you, all because he never cared. You made up your mind, and sent him one last text.

“If you didn’t care about me then we should’ve never became friends.”

And with that, the friendship that you two put so close to heart was erased from your life, never to be seen again as you left his side and joined with Todoroki.

This is the last straw for Bakugou. He yells into his hands. Nobody’s home, and even if somebody were in the house, he doesn’t care. He screams until his lungs give out, his voice reducing to a raspy groan after ten whole minutes of screaming. He was mad at himself. He was mad at his fate. Why did it have to take away the best thing that happened to him? Why did you have to land in the hands of Todoroki? Just the thought of it fills him with anger, sparks emitting from his palms as his sight is clouded by red. Scrambling onto his bed, he sends punch after punch towards his pillow, activating his quirk and letting the fabric burn as he continues the assault on the pillow, feathers now flying all around him as he screams, tasting his own tears. He doesn’t care about his pillow being completely demolished. He has extras at home anyways. Throwing the now tattered pillow onto the floor, he grabs a new one and shoves his head into it, sniffling into the cool material. “Why do I feel like this? How can one person ruin everything for me? Why is this happening? What kind of God does this to people? Why do I care anyways?” His eyes widen as he realises what he just confessed to himself. “No. I don’t care. I don’t fucking care at all. I don’t care. Not a shitty single fucking bit.” His heart aches when he says that, as if it’s mocking him for trying too hard to convince himself to believe something that was completely untrue. The ash blond thrashes wildly on his bed out of frustration, kicking his sheets away and muffling his strained screams into the clean pillow. “Stop, stop, stop, stop, STOP! WHY? CAN’T YOU JUST GET OUT OF MY HEAD FOR A FUCKING DAY? JUST A FUCKING SECOND? PLEASE?” Pulling his sleeve up, he stares at the words “Zero Gravity” in disgust. Bringing his free hand up, he activates his quirk, sending a scorching burn to the words as he hisses in pain, flinching a little bit. The soul mark is now a shade of pink, but the words are still clear as day. He knows he screwed up bad with you, but what could he do about it? You’re happily dating your soulmate, and all ties between you two have been cut off. All his texts have been left on seen. You have stopped talking to him. With that, Bakugou knew what he had to eventually come to terms to.

He cares. He cares too much. 

All the times he’s said “I don’t fucking care” were just pathetic attempts to forget about the cruel truth, even just for a moment.

You’re never going to go back to him.

Todoroki is your boyfriend.

And he was just another classmate to you.

References:

Idfc- Blackbear

Lyrics to said song

A whole lotta brainstorming because oh my god my angsts are becoming more and more predictable and repetitive and I hate it ahahhaha

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Have fun reading this love ya sorry for not writing anything in days and uh I’m gonna go to sleep now because I have school and I need at least 5 hours:D